1996-97_v19,n31_Imprint by Editor Imprint

The University of Waterloo Student Newspaper Friday, March 14, 1997

Volume 19, Number 31 http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca CDN Pub. Mail ~ ~ d uSales c t ~greementNO. 554677

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Those damn kids: Fed comes of age by Natalie GiJlis Imprint staff

ixty ticket holders were turned away from the Odds concert at Fed Hall last Friday night because they were underage and could not produce a university or college student card. The rehsals were in line with a decision made in early February by university administrators to only admit those underagers who are attending a university or college, thus restricting high school students from the club. Both potential concert-goers and members of the perfbrming bands were incensed by the new decision. Noted the lead singer of the Bloody Chicletts (Odds’ opening band), ccWefeel a little burned.. .I could seeit if the place was sold out and it was wall-to-wall, but it’s barely full and they’re turning people away-that’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen.” The university holds HMV-the only other location where Federation of Students sponsored concert tickets can be bought-responsible for the tickets sold to high school students, Although the Feds had instructed HMV not to sell tickets to underagers without a university or college student card, HMV failed to heed these instructions and sold the tickets anyway. HMV has since been recontacted by the Feds.

The decision is a return to the intent with which Fed Hall was originally built. ‘The understanding was that Fed Hall was built for University of Waterloo students and their colleagues. Over the years, we got away from that; said Bud Walker, Director of Business Operations. High school students were first allowed entrance to Fed Hall in the early ’90s because of declining interest shown in the

cerns about safety in the community.” Walker added that there had been concerns raised “here and there” by parents of high school students in the Kitchener-Waterloo area. YVe all agreed in the end that this was reasonable for the university to ask,” said Scott. “By selling to underagers, we’re seHing tickets that can be bought by UW students,” continued Walker. SC&~ was confident that there would be no troubie selling out concerts exclusively to a university crowd. Given that there were roughly 400 students in attendance at last Friday’s Odds concert, however, it is evident that university and college students have certti-nly not been competing with high school students for tickets. Furthermore, many bands prefer to play all-ages shows, since their fans are mainly adolescents. Said Feds Board of Entertainment Director Emmanuel Patterson, club by UW students and the resulting drop in revenue. ‘The bands will go elsewhere.” More optimistically, The impetus for the decision came from UW adminBellabarba noted that “It may have an effect on the bands istrators, noted Federation of Students President Mario we can book, but it just means we’ll have to work that much Bellabarba. “If they hadn’t brought it up, it wduldn’t have harder to get UW students in there.” happened. The administration was concerned about the Although the decision took effect in early February, university’s reputation within the community.” Explained - the upcoming Moist concert will still be all-ages since, Catharine Scott, Associate Provost, Hum& Resources originally, it was to be held before the new rule took effect. and Student Services, “It is not appropriate for a student It will be the last concert at Federation Hall which allows underagers. pub to be open to underagers. There were obvious con-

Yt is not appropriate for a student pub to be open to underagers. v

Forum addresses and defends tuition hike by liarsten W. Gitter Imprint staff

nder the heading, ‘&How much is too much?“, the Federation of Students staged a forum on Monday to address the recent ten per cent tuition hike. Though far less dramatic than the rash of sit-ins occupying the presidential offices of numerous other Ontario universities, the forum represented “a form of direct democracy, giving students the opportunity to voice their concerns,” stated Feds VP, Education Kelly Foley. Chaired by Foley, the forum featured UW President James Downey and Provost, Academic ARairs Jim Kalbfleisch. Lacking any government representation, the forum quickly took an unfortunate turn toward providing a public stage for UVV administration to present and defend its position. The decision not to include an official student voice at the table was deliberate. Foley pointed out: “It’s not up to me to convince students; ihat’s not the Feds’ role. This was the time for students to step forward and talk.” Dr. Downey opened the forum by stressing the importance of maintaining the quality of education at UW and expressed concerns about slipping from ex-

proceeded to challenge President Downey whether she could “be sure that there would be no mer compromises.” “No,” was Downey’s resounding answer, %e can’t guarantee that we won’t have to make other compromises.” Downey also rejected the challenge that university administration regard students ascash-cows and should exude more pressure on the government. we don’t have much political leverag$’ Downey lamented, %e government doesn’t fear US.” On Monday, March 17, Fed President Mario Bellabarba will present a motion to UW Senate asking UW to take an official position on fee deregulation and differentiation. This meeting will take place at 7: 30 p.m. in Needles Hall, Room 3001, and is as to

Downy,

Ubfleisch

and Foley the eager faces of the Fed forum. photo

cellence to mediocrity. Drastic funding cuts have left Ontario “greatly underf&ded” compared to all other Canadian t>rovinces. In liiht of the Conservative goternment’s public policy, Downey argued that “tuition fees have to increase if tie present quality of education is to be maintained.” Following Downey’s presentation, Jim Kalbfleisch addressed the effects of the cuts on the UW community. Betxveen April 1993 and February 1997, UW has suffered from a $19 million loss in income, which has resulted in drastic reductions in stti and faculty. “We’re really feeling the loss,” Kalbfleisch admitt&, citing i&eased work-

by Karsten

W. Gitter

loads coupled with stagnant salaries since 1992. Although “all of us are concerned about accessibility and the strains of increased fees on students, we have no choice but to take the ten per cent increase,” Kalbfleisch continued. Concluding the forum, Foley invited students crowded in the SLC to present their questions to Downey and Kalbfleisch. Only a hanm of students took up the invitation, however. Christiana Ens, a third year Civil Engineering student whose question reflected the sentient of most of the concerns voiced, drew attention to recent compromises at the expense of quality and

open

to the entire

community.

Meanwhile, the UWO student council has staged a virtual sit-in where students can log onto a web site and send an e-mail in protest of the tuition hike to Western President Paul Davenport. Laurentian University students have chosen the more conventional route occupying their president’s office. Although the occupation was only intended to last from Wednesday, March 12 to Thursday, March 13, Lauren&n’s Students’ General Association vowed to support students who choose to extend the sit-in indefiitely,

NEWS

IMPRINT,

Friday, March 14, 1997

Universities, government neglect native issues by Paul York special t.0 Imprint

Award. According to McKay, the Royal Commission Report emphasizes a four-fold value sJrstem of recognition, respect, &ring and responsibility which the federal government must take to heart. He called for healing, not just for First Nations peoples, but for all Canadians. Speaking on education, McKay said that in 1970 there

he Very Kev. Stanley McKay spoke on native issues last Thursday in the Humanities Theatre. McKay, a Manitoban Cree and former Moderator of the United Church, is also a winner of the 1996 Aboriginal Achievement

were not more than one hundred natives in post-secondary school in Canada. Twenty years later,

that number

has increased by McKay claims that Canada’s post-secondary ins titutions have yet to acknowledge this fact by offering more Native Studies courses. cCNo student should graduate without one year of aboriginal history,” he said. 3,000

per cent.

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’

McKay called for an open forum by the UW administration to discussthe implementation of such a change to the Arts curriculum. During Native Peoples Awaeness Week, a frequent topic of discussion was the federai government’s

apparent

unwillingness

to implement recommendations contained in the report on Aboriginais in Canada, released three months ago. Prime Minister Chretien and Indian Affairs Minister Ron Irwin have given signs that they intend to shelve the report, which recommends provisions for the economic self-sufficiency of Cana-

da’s natives. They have also declined invitations to meet with Canada’s aboriginal leaders. Chretien says it is “impossible” to act on the report prior to the federal election. Governor-Ceneral Romeo LeBlanc praises the report, saying it is un5ortunate that the public has fmused on the high cost of the plan, while ignoring the higher costs of inaction. The crisis that this situation represents for Canada’s 800,000 natives was the focus of the talk given by the Very Rev. Stanley McKay. l

continued

page 5

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great spectacle or just a lot of f&l for professionals and beginners will be offered to you by the next annual Waterloo juggling festival. It will take place March 22 to March 23, starting at 12:OO p*m. in the Student Life Centre Great Hall. Over a period of two days, you will have the chance to improve your juggling, watch some of the great and famous jugglers, like Don Estabrook, tossing up to seven balls or five clubs into the air, participate in one of the workshops provided for beginners or have nice long chats and meet new and interesting people. Approximately 100 people are expected to attend, among them, juggling clubs from Ottawa, Kingston, Hamilton, Lendon, Detroit, Toronto and, of course, the strong local contingent. OnSaturday, at 8 a.m., some of the highly technically skilled jugglers will be holding a public show. The venue is not quite finalized yet, but it will hopefully be a spectacular show. The tentative schedule of the festival includes events such as 74ind Juggling”, “Combat” and “Dimes”.

“We put them into the tentative schedule to emphasize that they are intended to be ~&II,” says Michael Crawford, President of the WV Juggling Club and one of the festival’s main organizers. “Blind Juggling is easy to explain-feats of juggling endurance with one’s eyesclosed. Combat is an almost ubiquitous game among jugglers-many people start juggling, last one juggling wins. Of course, both club and ball versions exist, but club combat is regarded by combat snobs to be superior. Dime... .I am not sure exactly. lit probably involves ju@hg clin~3.~ The only really competitive element of the schedule will be the five ball endurance. The festival provides an oppcmunity for all jugglers to get together and juggle, amateurs and professionals alike. Festivals of this type appear to be more common in Europe, particularly England and Germany, whereas festivals for professionals and petiormers are more con-u-non over here. At this event, everybody is welcome to drop by, pick up some of the juggling materials which will be provided, and have a lot of fLn. For hrther information, contact Michael Crawford at mgacrawf@jeeves.uwaterlou.ca.

n Email: cdkge@sybase.com n FA2h (800) 700~0076 l Mail: University Relations, 6425 Christie Av~.~ 5th FL, Emeryville CA 94608. Sybuse is an equal opportunity l?nqdoyerrht dues the smgrJl diversity brings to the workpluce.

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March

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14, 1997

UW&udents labour for new homes

Dedicated &

diggers. photo

by Melissa Cavallin special to Imprint

I-

his past reading week, twenty members of HabiA tat fo; Humanity at the University of Waterloo participated

in a build, in cooperation Orleans Area Habi-

The grout’

tar.

Habitat for Humanity

is an Christian organization aimed at eliminating povew housing. It was formed in 1976 by Linda and Millard Fuller in Americus, Georgia, where the international office is now located. During these past two decades, Habitat has grown world-wide and presently works with over 50 countries Co empower people by allowing them the opportuniw to pay for and work on their ;wn houses. The Campus Chapter works directly with Habitat Canada, Habitat for Humanity Waterloo Region, Habitat for Humanity International, numerous other Habitat for Humanity affiliates, the local and global communities, and Habitat Home-owners. There are three main objectives: 1) fund raising to build and renovate houses, 2) increasing awareness about Habitat for Huecumenical,

Christian

manity, sub-standard housing, poverty and related issues and 3) participating in the construction and renovation of new and existing houses. These objectives help people to establish a “simple, decent place to live.”

with the NW international,

by jennie

helped build the foundation for two new houses.. . Families pay a no-interest mortgage over a fixed period, This is made possible by physical, monetary and verbal efforts. The homeowners contribute at least five hundred hours of sweat equity either to help build or to use their talents in other areas. Volunteer labour and donated materials and tids are used to build new homes or renovate existing structures. These combined efforts allow Habitat for Humanity to keep the costs of building houses at a rninimum. Each year, the group participates in local builds and awareness opportunities. This year, the

Toronto Montessori Institute is now accepting for the 1997-l 998 Teacher-Training Course.

Campus Chapter has been to Hamilton and Sarnia and has been present throughout the city. The chapter also goes abroad every reading week to partake in the “Collegiate Chabenge.” New Orleans was this year’s destination. With the help of many hard working and wondefi people, the chapter was able to travel to this city of magnificent history and rich culture in order to work with the New Orleans Area Habitat af5iate. With the help of the site manager and other knowIedgeable workers, the UW chapter helped construct the foundation of two houses. This was not an easy feat as the dirt is clay and very difficult to work with, but it was a physically and emotionally exhilarating experience. Moreover, working with soon-to-be Habitat Home-owners and other local residents enabled the participants to appreciate that the small contribution was a significant step to an important project. The specific goal of New Orleans Area Habitat is to recover the hundreds of abandoned houses in the city and renovate them for future homeowners, or reuse useM materials for the construction of new houses. The Uvv chapter helped build the foundation for two new houses which will be, one day in the near f’Lture, the homes of two fmilies who have worked hard to have a wellbuilt, comfortable place to raise their families. The group would like to express its sincere appreciation to the many people who have supported them in so many ways this year and thank the Habitat for Humani~ at UW executive and all those who went on the New Orleans trip. These are hard working people. Anyone interested in joining Habitat for Humanity at the University ofWater or finding out more information can contact habitat@watservl .uwaterloo.ca, or visit their web site <http:// watserv 1. uwaterloo. ca-habitat > .

Controversy over native issues continues l

continued

from

page4

Other speakers during the week were Drew Hayden Taylor, native author and playwright, speaking on the rapid growth of aboriginal theatre in Canada in the last ten years, and Arlene Smith, UW alumnus and director of K-W Urban Native Wigwam Project. The project, which administrates 39 “income-gearedrent” houses for some of the approximately 7,000 natives in the K- W area, is facing drastic reduc-

tions in tiding. Despite a waiting list of 90 fmilies, the federal government wants to hand the project over to the province. Smith says, “This would kill us.” Jean Becker, a native woman from Labrador and a UW alumnus, spoke of the high inci-

in incarceration or suicide. Becker suggested that the role perfbrmed by the notorious residential school systems is now being performed by the Children’s Aid Society. “If a child is apprehended by the Children’s Aid Society, the relatives of that child should first be given the

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of native

children

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NEWS

IMPRINT,

March 14, 1997

Friday,

Pub-going co-op students wanted by Amy Green, SAC Chair special

to Imprint

41, continuous phase is now under way, and having been to the

meeting you know that your form and rcsukes are due March 14 or,

Northwestern

at the absolute latest, March 21. SAC is also currently looking for people interested in Watpubs.

attending in those cities so the coordinators can contact you when the Watpub starts up.

Particularly, we are looking for people that would like to coordinate the Watpubs in Toronto, Ottawa, London and Calgary, but, barring that, we would like to form lists of people interested in

What is a Watpub? It is an opportunity for co-op students to get together, share information, socialize and get to know the city they are in. Watpubs provide a support nenvork for people new

event

to attend

on the Watpub

and advertises it phone line for that

City.

If you missed the sign up the job contract signing or if you did not have one of these meetings, you can contact SAC to fmd out more or put your name down for a certain city. We will be leaving “applicasheets in meetings,

College of Chiropractic,

tions”

for coordinators

open

for

the next couple of weeks and an\r interested parties can mail SAC &r leave us a message in the Fed office. Also,

SAC is Iooking

for my-

one interested in being chairperson or co-chair for both the Spring ‘97 and Fall ‘97 terms. Interested parties should submit a short letter in the SAC box in the Fed office stating why the) are interested in the position, what qualifies them and what they believe thev can achieve.

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OnhzridsCommunify College in the Kuwurthas.

The Multi-Cultural Festival is coming up this Wednesday, March 19, and here’s how things are shaping up to date. The committee of dedicated students have combed the campus and countryside in search of fresh talent for the event. Things will kick OK around 11:30 a.m. in the Student Life Centre with food booths, music, fashion and more that you simply do not want to miss! During the day, be sure to catch the likes ofi Fayyaz, Folk Singers, Dancers, A Cape1 Eng., Traces Steel Band, and a whole lot of other sounds. These bands will complement the f&ion show which is scheduled to begin at noon. The Festival Party is kicking off at 5 p.m. on Wednesday,March 19. This party is a continuation of the day’s activities with acts like Maracujah and Traces Steel Band, not to mention an R&B/Gospel act and some guest DJs. There is a fee for this evening event: $6 for UVV students, $7 for others. The proceeds go to Reaching Our Outdoor Friends (R.O.O.F.). This is a local charity that supports getting kids off of the streets and into loving, safe environments. Anyone who brings in a donation of fd, clothing, etc. will receive a $1 discount off of the ticketed price. This is redly going to be a

greatevent. I cannot stressenough how hard students have been working to bring this event to our campus.

Please contact the Fed Office for ticket information and I hope to see you there on March 19! Academic Rights Have you ever wondered what to do if you get a grade that you don’t agree with? Do you know what your options are if your instructor has treated you unfairly or you feel you deserve special consideration? The Academic Rights Advisors, a new service from the Feds, are a group of student volunteers who are here to help you with questions about your academic rights. We can provide information about what your rights are, as weIl as how to exercise them. We are also here to provide you with support during what are often stressti situations. Our advisors are all trained in the policies and procedures of the University, as well as peer support and active listening. You can set up a confidential appointment with one of our advisors by caUing

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IMPRINT,

NEWS

Friday, March 14, 1997

Campus*Question:

Do you think underage, non-UWstudents should be allowed into Fed Hall?

by Nieis Jensen and Mike Owen (photos)

NO, most of the money b;ar. They’re useless.

student.

No. By allowing too many underage, non-UW people, bouncers can’t contil the situation.

No, I don’t think theY should. It’s a bar like any other!

Dharmesh Raju, 1N Science

Robin Stewart, 3* Geography

AlanRed@, 3N science

I.inda MC&X& hEI Biology

Yes, cuz I like fresh meat.

Somebody

Sure, why not? I liked going to concerts when I was underage.

-how will it continue to stay open without the support of younger students?

wki the dog woma!?, 5N Recreation and Leisure Studies

Tony Rivet, 4B English

Lisa Spadafom 1BAl-k

Scott Xameron” 1N Science

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Smokescreen

making is so stupid. . .and yet so cool. The cigarette simultaneously conjures up images -of lames Dean walking through Times Square and the hapless chemotherapy patient in the intensive care ward. But whatever the coolness factor of a f&-flavoured Camel, there are undeniable reasons not to smoke. Smoking costs a lot of money, makes your

breath

smell

like an ashtray,

annoys

non-smokers,

makes your clothes stink and it may even give you cancer. Most smokers are aware of these perils, but as stupid adsit may be, they also know that it’s not against the law. And yet, despite the fact that smoking remains legal, Toronto has fbrced the owners of legitimate businesses to treat smokers as though they were criminals by forcing ,aLlbars and restaurants to make their establishments non-smoking. Private property is such a poorly protected right iti our society that the most important issue-that of private ownership-is utterly ignored in the smoking debate. While bars and restaurants serve the public, they are privately owned establishments. That bears repeating: T’ey are private8 mumd ertablishents. As such, why are the rights of an owner to determine what goes on in their bar or restaurant sublimated to the claims of non-smokers? Clearly there are areas where we, as a society, make certain demands of owners of private businesses. For example, we institute certain building codes, demand that owners not discriminate on the basis ofrace or gender and we insist on certain health standards’for establishments that serve food. These compromises are made because it is assumed that we canal1 agree that we don’t want to be killed by falling masonry, we can &II agree that we don’t want to live in a racist society (well, the sane among us) and we can ca;llagree that we don’t want to eat rancid food, But can we all agree that restaurants must be smoke free? Hardly. In such an instance where people cannot agree to a certain uniform standard, then surely it must be up to the owner of a bar or restaurant to determine how they will handle such activities in their business. What is most unnerving about this harassment and ostracization of smokers is that as a general rule, smokers are extremely accornmudatin~ to non-smokers. When was the last time you saw a smoker demand that they be allowed to smoke on an airplane, or in the non-smoking section of a restaurant, or on a bus, or in a post office, or in a classroom, or in your house? It is surely safeto say that smokers are usually perfectly willing not to smoke in the aforementioned areas where non-smokers are forced to endure cigarette smoke. But, even though smokers support and abide by the existence of segregated smoking and non-smoking areas, that’s not enough for the municipal antismoking Nazis in Toronto. They steadfastly demand that restaurants and bars must be completely smokefree. This position is even more absurd considering that no study has ever proven a causal relationship between second-hand smoke and incidents of cancer in non-smokers. What studies there have been rely on statistical fakery. (Check out Robert Wagner’s <http://www.tezcat.com/-smokers/ page ~ faq.html> for an excellent analysis of these stats.) But ultimately, what the smoking debate comes down to is a freakish, brain-damaged power-trip by municipal politicians. In their supposed effort to work in the public good, they ignore the desires of their

constituents

(because

they

know

better)

The University of Waterloo Student Newspaper Frihy March14,1997 Volume 19,Number31 Ph:519-888-4048 Student IHe Cents-e, Room 1116 l

University of Waterloo WaterlaB, ontario N2L3Gl

Editorial Editor in Chief Editor-in-Chief-elect Forum Editor News Editor News Assistant Arts Editor Arts Assistant Sports Editor Sports Assistant Features Editor Science Editor Photo Editor Photo Assistant Graphics Editor WWW Page Editor WWW Page Assistant Systems Administrator Proofreaders

Fax: 519~884-7800 e-maikditcbr@imprimt.uwaterl~.ca WWmhttp://impdn~uwaterloo.ca

Board

Board of Directors

Sandy Atwal Peter Lenardon Patti LenarcI Katie Ricks Karsten W. Gitter James Russell Debbra McClintock Jeff Peeters Greg Picken. Tracy Hunt Mike Owen Gillian Downes Paul Rencoret Stephen Johnston Justin Kominar May Ellen Foster Man Nguyen Lori Hayston Amberlee Howlett Liz Monier- Williams Rob Van Kruistum Patrick Wilkins

Ryan Pyette Natalie Gillis Rob Van Kruistum Jeff Peeters Stephen Johnston Jeff Robertson

Distribution Jeff Robertson James Russell

Contribution

List

Stcvc Banks, Chris Bastic, Shannon Bernstein, Peter Brown, Melissa Calavin, Reni Chan, Tcrrencc Dick, Ryan Eaglcs,Chris Edginton, Sean Elder, KcHy Foilcy, Amy Green, Joel Greenberg, Sclcnc Hur, Leigh Jcnkinson, Nicls Jcnscn, Brian Kalbfleisch, Greg Krafchick, Jack Lcfcourt, Melissa MacDonald, Justin Mathews, Stormy Mildnq-, Pctc Ncsbitt, Kerry O’Brien, Michael Ollcy, Tasmina Patcl, Julie Primcau, Asrtid Sealey, Pat Spacek, WPIRG, Paul York, Dan Zacharia, and thanks to thoscwho contributed to the Crcativc Arts

Supplement Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint

and,

lacking proof to support their position, resort to a strong-armed tactic with no mandate from their citizenry. Until such time as smoking is made illegal, let smokers decide the fate of their health; and let business owners decide the fate of their restaurants.

President Vice-President Secretary Treasurer Director at Large Staff Liaison

staff

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Marea Laurie Tania Adam

Willis Tigert-Dumas Caza Natran

Publications,

Water&x,

acorporation

without

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Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring terns Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint ISSN 07067380. Mail should be addressed t, Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G I.

Imprint welcomes letters to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters received via electronic mail must be verified with a signature. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity+ The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint.

Feminism not boring

is #l

Sandy Atwal’s editorial relapse, “Feminism is boring” fails to realize one filndamental point: International Women’s week is not about exciting Mr. Awal’s sensibilities. It’s not about his perpetual reiteration of antithetical points. His argument is just counter dogma but dogmanonetheless. So feminisrn bores Sandy Atwal. Sandy Atwal bores me. - Kdiy F&y Feminist

Feminism not boring

is #2

To the Editq I’d tike to comment on the incorrect statistics provided by Sandy Atwd in the March 7, 1997 Imprint which have been refuted many times by myself and others; as well, Atwal seems not to understand them. He states, quoting Grant Brown, that X number ofwomen earned Canadian PhDs between 1955 and 1970, that Y number of women ten years ago were associate or fU professors in Canada (today only about 20 per cent of professors are women, and many fewer than this at UW), and that therefore Y/X = 82 per cent of the women were hired asprofessors. This analysis is laughable because: A) Hundreds if not thousands of professors hired (in the 1960s especially) were not Canadians. Some UW department faculty% were 80 or 90 per cent American. Atwal’s statistics don’t apply to non-Canadian PhDs: B) Some professors were hired who did not have PhDs. These aren’t covered either by Atwal’s statistics. C) Many people with PliDs didn’t become professors. Why would Atwal assume they would, and state this as a fact? D) Some professors were never promoted to associate or full professors during their career. Atwal’s statistics are thus obviously meaningless and misleading. -Anne

XnG D/tag

Feminism boring

is not #3 ’

Tu the Editar, It is clear that Sandy Atwal’s column is designed to incite controversy through blame-casting and name-calling. Its title,‘CAktnufacturing Dissent,” is indicative of its aim. By attacking feminists and feminism the column has llfrlled its in-

tended purpose by generating many inflained responses; but at what cost? Putting down feminism is the same as endorsing sexism. To say that c(feminism is boring only servesto reinforce mysoginistic attitudes, bringing out the dark side of human nature. Do we really need more discrimination in this world? Feminism is, by and large, a life-affirmative thoughtprovoking world view. The feminists I happen to know are strong and intelligent women who deserve respect and praise, not insults and acrimony. The status of women is recognized by the UN as a human rights issue. Sadly, the status of Canadian women was ranked eighth among industrialized nations by the UN. Unless the.UN is wrong, Atwal’s conclusion that Canadian women do not experience discrimination is flawed. But egalitarian issues (such as emplovment equity) are not the only concern of feminists; virtuaHy every domain of human thought and endeavour has been re-cast in terms of gender, including religion, history, philosophy, literature and politics. Feminist thought represents a fundamental challenge to the status quo. That is why I would characterize feminism as “exciting,” not boring. - Pmd York

Feminism boring

is not #4

TO the Editor, “It is the utter boredom of memorized phrases that is truly unbearable.” True, Finding anyone who %ghts” for a cause, who merely spews forth the same endless rhetoric, devoid of true meaning or action, is boring and easily dismissed. But since when is it boring and unbearable to care about people, to want to contribute and work toward something better, aiding those you can and bettering yourself? Tt rings hollow” that ‘tvhite, tiversity-educated, middle-class women.. .” cry out at injustices or inequalities, why? I fit this group you describe but why is it wrong for me to care? Does this mean that anyone, who has not experienced first hand the inequalities that they protest does not have the right to do so? Or shouldn’t be taken seriously anyway? As a news editor, Mr. Atwal, you should understand that diversity of opinion and viewpoint is important to round out issues, get people involved and promote social change. If privileged people do not speak out in aid of oppressed and victimized groups, who will? By being oppressed and victimized, these people aften do not have a choice, or are ignored and marginalized. Feminists merely tend to focus on oppressed women, just as other groups focus on other peoples. * But back to UW. The “utter nonsense” you discuss about “Boo Hoo, life is unfair and the attempt of feminists at UW to gain “converts to their cause” is an unfair and biased generalization. The things you say about the boredom of Women’s Week are obviously based on the “Voices ofwomyn” publication, this coming from the lack of mention of any other Women’s Week events. This publication was created for womyn to express themselves creatively, an outlet for female creativity and emotion. If

you don’t like it, then don’t read it. It’s your prerogative. Your comments about it are akin to saying that Imprint is composed of the slurred, drunken ramblings of hormoMI youth, that all it contains are the complaints of privileged university students, whose focus is primarily on Varsity sports and alternative music. This is not my personal belief but a fairly like comparison to your description of our publication. As to Women’s Week boredom, you obviously missed out. There was a fantastic benefit for the Sexual Assault Support Centre at Weaver’s Arms Pub, the Health Fair in the SIC, any of the intellectually challenging discussions throughout the week and the clay Goddess workshop (yes, men were welcume, and attended, and had a prettv good time from where I was sitting). I understand the statistics that you quote, and make no argument to slander your character or intelligence. My point is to clarify what it means to be a feminist to me and what Women’s Week was all about: feeling good. Feeling good about yourself, being women/womvn/wimmin, being a human being, somebne who cares about people and life, who seeks to promote equality and general well being. Does my letter sound like the “highpitched shriek,” of a feminist? Because I am a feminist and I do care, about women, about people. I am privileged but I *alsofeel sick inside at the oppression and victimization I encounter. The world would be a sad place if everyone kept to their own shallow personal concerns and pains and made no attempt at change or betterment, for themselves and those around them.

~itor’sNote=~thekzL~Rmsole~I huve mceiued d&nfi my time at Xm$mht, ?l-mwh&zs~edme~Yec~?nyputitim like Brericnnu Mhhod3. X maintain thut my column describes the adons ofsume wh call thuehesj%m~nists, bat likewise B~nnu%pha ts,are well t&m. Those whu are simply working be~twse they %are ah& peojh, to want to contiidcand wurk towurd something bett2fQwe not the object of my criticism und InotanEyrespectthem,butsuppmtt~~cts I wudd swppW such work jminist

unyone paWic$Wth~ in ur othempise. Pri9$ksor DuppJ, ifym have read

As@ BrownQuapr,

0f deflrees bizs been lower than that in Canada. F~&eq I do not seewhere in my co& umn Maimed that all PhDs hecam+@sum, nor did I chzim that all professors were jvmwted to associate 0r fill pu$ssor. If atiythhzg is m&udiqg, it is y0w characte&b&n of my c&mm. At any mte, I tpatlld be happy to txamimpur %+&hnJJOf Grant’spaper, jz4st M I m&d be happy to pti any interthat

regiuns,

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Pete

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Pat

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To the Editor, This letter is in response to TomYurkiv’s rant about the computer science program here at UW. While the letter started out with some decent arguments about outdated curricula, it degenerated into meaningless drivel when he started making sweeping generalizations and stereotypes about Waterloo CS students. Tom cites that CS students don’t receive broad cornmunications and analytical skills because we don’t take =artsy” courses. With typically one to two electives a term, what else do you think I am going to take, Tom? Tom, I take arts courses not just because they actually raise my average, but because they are good courses. I feel that it is easier to relate to these courses than math courses. Your ludicrous statement that we take MTHEL courses because we can’t handle PSYCH

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101 almost made me fall on the floor laughing. I just don’t get how you can claim that CS students become “narrowed” in their midset and only prefer to work on quantifiable problems. Tom, youstudied here, you should know this -most students don’t enjoy the math, but bite the bullet and bear through it until second year. What of the math courses, though? Granted, there are quite a few. However, you probably had no way of knowing that starting September 1997, there is a new CS curriculum, effectively cutting back two math courses, and adding two CS courses. Waterloo CS is not perfect, but it is evolving.

Tom says that CS graduates are unprepared for the real world; that we learn nothing of ethics, or of the effects of computers on society. Okay everyone, let’s flip to the 1998 undergrad calendar. Wow! I see three or four courses on those very subjects! There also are lists of recommended courses for the Information Systems and Software Engineering options that explicitly list the very courses you whined weren’t in the curriculum: critical thinking,* public speaking, computers and society. Are these required courses? No. Why should they be? The perception you’re giving is that CS students don’t know any better, and won’t take these-courses unless they are degree requirements. This claim is ridiculous. Finally, Tom says that CS students can’t communicate effectively, because we have no selfconfidence and experience. Well, gee, that’s news to me! These are very gross and inaccurate stereotypes of the “geek locked in a closet” CS student. Just as the CS program is evolving, so are its students. First, I fmd it very childish to blame the CS program here for its students lacking self cotidence and communication skills. These skills are developed over a life‘time, especiallv during high

IMPRINT, school. Statistics prove that it is the students with good communication skills that end up graduating-the rest don’t last. Second, the co-op program here provides tons of experience forstudents. Employers continually hire students from here. Would you like to know that number one job requirement? Good communication skills! If us CS students have such bad skills, why do the employers continually seek us out? If we can’t listen to what users want, why does Microsoft, a company who is based on user input, hire over twenty students a term from here? Tom, your claims and generalizations just don’t jive with the facts. The facts tell me that Waterloo has the highest reputation among employers and educators. The facts tell me that Waterloo continues to offer the best computer science program in Canada, with an unparalleled mix of theory and application in computers, math, and societal issues. I wish you well at your new university. I’m staying here.

CS hype not warranted

l-i9 the Editor, Two weeks ago, Tom Yurkiv wrote that Waterloo’s CS program is “poor preparation for the real world”-an assessmentthat I think, in many cases, is justified and accurate. The two respondents in last week’s issue of Imprint seemed to have missed the point that Mr. Yurkiv, a fourth year CS student at Simon Fraser, was trying to make. One respondent asserted that “good sof&are applications involve a lot of clifficult calculations.” While I will agree that Sam8 software applicati&s require so-

Friday, March 14, 1997 phisticated calculations, I have taken six fourth year CS courses that have required no math beyond first year algebra. Do math courses help us develop our problem solving ski.lls? Again, I seriously question this judgment. I find I am relatively poor at solving some math problems, but have never had any ti ficulty solving programming problems. I have never solved any CS problem using skills developed in my math classes. If math courses beyond first year act as a filter to keep otherwise deserving students out of the Computer Science program, then it is both a waste of my time and a waste of public money. The CS program here at UW certainly places too little focus on things like sofiware engineering, social impact of computing, and yes, even arts courses. I’ve worked in many group projects in my CS ciwiculum,

and

the

things

that

other fourth year computer science students do not know frequendy amazes me. Things like how to design so&are applications, how to test and debug sobare, and even basic familiarity with popular computer technologies. If a fourth year CS student does& know how to debug the so&are he or she writes, or can’t figure out how to find a search engine with Netscape running on Windows 95, then I have to seriously question the problem solving skills that UVV CS students are learning. I also question the cornmunication skills of many CS students. Our only requirement is that we pass the ELPE at some point in our university career. Co-op students also have to write work reports, but what about those students that elect not to take co-op? I’ve seen too many examples of poor writing-grammar, spelling, and even the inability to organize thoughts clearly-that I have absolutely no confidence in the ability of many CS students to communicate effectively.

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Robert Danek asserts that ‘kniversity isn’t about practical skius.”

FORUM

14, 1997

Thanks extended 2-b the Ed&w,

benefit to society-it is not for yaw benefit. If you don’t graduate without some practical, marketable skills, skills usefid to society, then it is nut worth spending-public fknds to educate vou. Computerization is changing society in ways that we, as CS students, cannot always fidly appreciate. Many of us spend far too much time cooped up in the labs on the 3rd floor of the Math and Computer Building leartig how to code. We learn only those things that are available on the UNIX undergrad.math computing environment, and many ofus will be woeMy unprepared for life in the real world. A commuter scientist should not just be’adept at creating and developing new computer algorithrns, but should also be aware of the computer’s effect on our society. How can we have any vision for the future if we do not know where we are todav? -St@en Johnston 4B CS/Bwiness Infi.

acknowledge all ths Healers who attended, Shirley at the Womyn’s Centre, my wondeti roommates and friends who helped out in the rough spots, Nan+ at the SLC, Heather Calder, the Turnkeys, Food Not Bombs, and ail who visited the Wellness Fair on March 4. It was a tremendous successfor the Wellness Fair’s return to campus and for International Women’s Week. As a special note I would like to send a message out to those who signed up to participate in Bev Young’s workshop on Light Touch Therapir. Someone has accidentally legwith the sign-up sheet instead of a pamplet. Bev , therefor, has lost all ofyour names and numbers, but en&rages you to contact her at 888-9000. So thank you once again to all who came out to be a part of the Wellness Fair, and I invite you all to be a part of the excitement next vex - Lilt Houd

1. Alberta Premier Ralph Klein has set a very interesting precedent in Canadian politics. He slashed spending, wiped out the deficit, and got re-ele&ed without ding one prmise. scary stuff. Politicians, more than anyone else, hate promises. Just ask that lying bitch Sheila Copps, And now Klein has revealed the magical formula that will get you back onto office without making any. How many will attempt co follow a similar path? Only time will tell. 2. Heathens, run for cover! The “Moral Support Movement” is spoiling for a fight. The newlyformed group of local Christian crackpots is looking to stop the decay ofsociety by bringing power back to the people, cLespecia.lly those who walk in ways of righteousness,n says founder Erika Kubassek. Upset after a woman pulled a Gwen Jacob in a public pool last mon& to protest the ‘women must wear tops but men don’t have to’ rule, Kubassek started the group and has about ten followers so far, but Kubassek is convinced that there are %ousands” just waiting to join up. Thousands, I don’t know. But

she does have a follower in Donna Friedmann. And what does Friedmann have to say for women like Gwen Jacob or Fatima Henson (who did the topless swim)? ‘They think they’re some help, gaining a freedom, when the$r&ot.They’repunishingthe rest of us who view ourselves much differently.” I couldn’t agree more. Those God-given breastsare nothing if not a punishment. Amen. 3. Jean Chr&en is the most disgusting politician in the country, and for some strange reason, people retie to call him on it. He’s come through the whole GST fiasco virtually unscathed, there’s still no f&i@ jobs, the Somalia Inquiry gets cut off before any real answers are found, and Ch&ien continues to enjoy a large amount of popularity. I don’t understand it. Now, Chrttien has screwed up again. He pledged to have 25% female Liberal candidates in the next election, and to firlfll this pledge, Chrktien has been overriding the democratic process and appintin~ candidates ofhis choice. This is so much bullshit. Normally, members of a Riding elect their candidate in a demo-

cratic fashion. What Chr&ien is saying to the people is that he doesn’t give a shit who they want to represent them, they’ll take what he gives them. And there’s a lot more than an attempt to mll a promise here (a promise that was intended to reflect that the Liberals would somehow encourage more women to get involved, ‘not that they would force any others out of the competition). Chr&ien has appointed Elinor Caplan for the Thornhill Ridir&, and with her experience as a senior Minister in David Peterson’s provincial Liberal government in Ontario during the SO’s, she’s a prime choice for the next cabinet. Chrttien also appointed a former sta.Ker of John Nunziata’s to run against Nunziata in the next election. Nunziata was the Liberal MP who got kicked out of cabinet for not bending over and saying that the government had nut lied about abolishing the GST. Out of aUthe Liberal MI%, he was the mly me who actually had the balls to stand against Chr&ien and Copps and tell them that they were liars. The result? He’s outta there. Fuck you, Jean Chretien.

We don’t have to be suckers anvmore Freedom of speech must be absolute and unconditional

here are few topics that elicit as much controversy as freedom of expression. What makes this whole issue so interesting is its relevance to so many facets of society: pornography, advertising, and journalism to name a few. Let’s face it, the word sexpressiorP has an incredibly wide range of meanings. It is for this reason that I feel compelled to present my own personal opinion about what I believe to be an issue of great importance. If you think that I intend to sit on the fence and present a “sober” and impartial assessment &he whole situation, then I’m sorry to disappoint you. For you see, there still exist people who believe that they know what’s right for everybody else to the exclusion of any divergent viewpoints. These enemies of liberal values are not off in some banana republic-they’re right here in our very own backyard. They are using the polemics of dogmatic political correctness to undermine liberal democratic values. Elements of our urban culture, like pornography and advertising, have been targeted by the

for the quotes is that, quite often, the value judgements of certain these people are nothing more people (i.e. feminists) are supethan power-freaks posing asfemirior to those of everyone else. nists. Put simply, if these people Also, censorship presupposes don’t like something that fails to something that is completely immeet certain n-iiniium requirepossible co verfi-thk a &ven merits of good taste, then-they &e&urn like pok can create a want it done away with, abolviolent atmosphere because of its ished. When this initial line of ability to “adverseIy affect peareasoning fails to convince any- ples’ judgements.” In this way, it body, they employ intimidation affirms the idea of guilt before tactics to get their way. In the caseof porn or advertising, this means spewing out rhetorical arguments that atibute so&tal misogyny or homophobia to inert, inanimate objects. If you were to believe facets of so&y, ip these people, misogyny and homophobia didn’t exist before the advent of Calvin Klein ads or Playboy magazine. By taking their logic to such &iicul&m extremes, these self-appointed defenders of social justice are banking on innocence, the hallmark of any the authorities being just spinetotalitarian regime. less enough to cave into their deCensorship is analogous to mands for a suppression of india mother telling her young son vidual liberties. that he can’t read certain comic If these people really were books because they may give him bad ideas. When feminists try to feminists, then they would listen to the opinions of other women, ban porn rags or advertising im-

new crusaders ofmoral ness for purification

many of whom find it extremely insulting that a group of radicals

r&hteous-

and extermi-

nation. In the vanguard of this movement are a group of individuals who collectively refer to themselves as Lcfeminists.” The reason

age ourselves and disregard its message (if there is one) because our judgements and intelligence are inferior to theirs. The feminists are m&kg the decisions for us. And if we -&agee with them, we are being “inien. ,tive” to the feelings ofthose who are offended by the object or idea in question. Usually the only whv prudes and statists attempt to suppress some form of expression is to advance their own political agendas and exert influence over areas in which they previ-

Freedom of expression is relevant to many

littleinterestinactuallypromating peace and goodwill as they purport to do. The press is another area in which freedom of expression must be allowed to-flourish without restriction. To understand why this is, one need only look at how Imprint itself’ was conceived. Most students on campus probably don’t realize that from 1966 to 1478, a paper called the Chevron was the -off&l student publication of UW.

eluding journalism, advertising and porn.

have the gall to declare themselves representative of all women’s interests and viewpoints. The most offensive aspect about censorship is that it assumes

ages,

they

are effectidy

telling

the population at large that if you’re exposed to these images, then you might get bad ideas in your head and do something evil. In other words, they’re not giving us the opportunity to see the im-

The

reason

why

ths Chesvm

was eventually replaced by Imprint was thai the editorial stti had gradually been taken over by a group of dogmatic communists who wouldn’t publish articles that didn’t adhere to a rigid Marxist-

Leninist slant. Before long, the Chum had alienated the student body who felt the paper had become a commie mouthpiece and a complete embarrassment to the university. Journalistic integrity had gone right out the window, Thanks in part to a referendum, in which students overwhelmingly voted infavour of discontinuing thecbewott’s publication,Imp&t was established as a forum fir all UW student opinIOfls.

Many current students may not be overjoyed by some of the letters that find their wav into the gages of Imprint on i regular basis. Ofien these letters a& racist, sexist, and homophobic to some degree or another but I ask you this: what would you rather have, an exclusionq, dull-as-dishwater cornmie rag like the Ch#rm, or a pluralistic and at times, facinating paper like Imprint? Freedom of expression must be absolute and unconditional.. Othemise, we’re setting ourselves up to be controlled by various power-freaks and state-lovers who would love nothing more thm to dictate to the rest of us, which ideas and images are suitable for our

consumption.

Em bracing the option of freedom is entirely up to us. We don’t have to tolerate intolerance. We don’t have to be suckers anymore.

* 12

FORUM

UnprintFmword! Try soking the clues for the pwzle and fill in the blanks below when you know the corresponding themel! And remember, don? get cross, Thi5 weeks theme: ACROSS: 1. American or French, eg. 7. Post World War II Explosion 10. Underground name from *The Great Escape’ 11. Round table member 13. Middle East hot spot 16. It takes 19. Kind of race 20. Defense against 29 down 21. Bullfighting cheers 23. Battleship prefix 26. Battleship prefix 27. Where many Canadians died in WWI 28. Middie East hot spot 33. Haley city? 34. Britain, France, Canada, et al. 35. Boxing win 37. Most warlike nation 38. Saw with my little eye 39. Classic radio drama 40. Little -, site of Custer’s last stand 42. Wagnerian solo 43. Area of U.S. involvement since WWIt 45. Follows para and storm 46. 19th century French general 48. God of war 51. Battle 52. Colonel Klink’s bane 56. Area of U.S. involvement since WWII 57. Pink Floyd’s ‘Us and -’ 59. Billy Bishop’s victim 62. Area of U.S. involvement since WWII 63. Underground name from ‘The Great Escape’ 64. Tolstoy’s ‘War and -’ 68. Fee Fie Fum 69. Morning star 70. ‘All in the Family’ surname 74. After the bomb 77. Simpsons’ neighbour

Friday, March 14, 1997

IMPRINT,

by Steve Banks and Brian Kalbfleisch 1

letter in the grid! When you do, it willspell f ml!!

a saying

to the

kwe

50. Sunk by a loose lip 5 1. Armoured 52. Atilla for one 53. 54.

55. 57. 58.

Surrounded Schartzkoff

ranks high with his fifth Classic Bill Murray flick Lover’s quarrel Synonym

of 68 across

60. 61. 65. 66. 67. 71. 72. 73. 75.

Side of Berlin held by Soviets UtterIy defeated First name in atomic bombs Elude capture Capture - ass Knife Area of U.S. involvement since WWII The substance that launched a thousand bombers in the Gulf War 76. Luftwaffe antithesis Last week’s answers:

78. 79.

Long ditch Area of U.S. involvement

18. Desert Fox First name in Eastern alliance Famous ambulance driver during Spanish Civil War 24. Battle on the high 25. Higher Dominion 29. Saddam’s secret weapon 30. c1 ‘em! 31. Fell at Waterloo 32. 39 across broadcaster 36. Area of U.S. involvement since WWII 38. Fail 41. U.S. agent in Vietnam 44. Brought into sights 46. Spring month 47. Prepare potatoes 49. Grave inscription

since WWII

22. 23.

DOWN:

2. 3.

4. 5, 6. 8. 9. 12. 13. 14. 15. 17.

Theme: The Eyes ACROSS: 1. Red Green 7. Child 10. Optometry 12. Purina 13. Eye On Springfield 16. Blinked 18. Blue Eyes 20. Goldeneyc 23. Eyewitness 25. Potato 27. Stopover 28. Lash 30. Private Eye 35. Flower 36, REM 38* Peeled 39. Idle

Fish holder Western alliance Not me-ship Area of U.S. involvement since WWII Invade Campus Centre safe haven Possible response to ‘Esc-ce que nous pouvons jouer au golf ici?’ Massdestruction from afar acronym 19th century,British General Help acronym Lightning warfare Gorilla, eg.

If yourhave

Have It 4I.EyeOfThe Beholder 44. Cyclops 46. Keep An Eye

On DOWN:

1. Redeye 2. Eyesore 3. Near 4. Cone

Tiger 15. Fiberoptic 17. Sees 19. Underwortd 2 1. Assay 22. Ape 24. Idea 26. Tele 29. Have Eyes 31. Viper 32. Thee 33. Eyeball 34. Liner 37. Mirror 40. Pupil 42. Head 43. Leer 45. Yes

5. Needle 6. Brown-eyed 8. Hurricane 9. Deafen ll.AnEyeFor An Eye 12. Pub 14. Eye Of The any cmwmenis pk45e

contact Steve at sbanks@\ogosmath.~waterbo.ca or harrcsss any Imprint staff members.

Release theliomds.

Beware of holistic quackerv w

astTuesdayMarch3, there was a health fair in the SLC, for International Women’s Week. Curious, I began milling around a booth touting Iridology and other “holistic” consulting services. I heard this “practitioner” tell the woman something to the effect of, “you seem to be spiritually searching” or whatever. To which, she immediately responded with something like, “it’s interesting you should saythat, because. . .“. Well, I thought, not too interesting at all: who hasn’t been introspecting lately? From the table, I picked up a questionnaire-style health appraisal. (It was not very professionally laid out, and looked like a 3rd-generation photocopy, the original from a book with the spine flattened on the copier.) An extensive list of conditions to check off included “muscle tension” and “require extra amount of sleep. Just in case, there’s icoccasional body odour .” When it was my turn, I raptly expressed interest. He invited me to sit down, and we started to talk. I lamely asked, tell by looking

‘Yb

what

can you

my eyes?” He answered, something to the effect of, it depends on how open I am emotional+ Is this Iridology stuff physical examination or psychiatric analysis ? His pamphlet says, at

“The science and practice of observing the delicate fibre lines of the coloured pa.rt(iris) of the eye. From this one may collect data and infer the health level of an individual.” This man was a very charming person, definitely @f&d. Most ‘of the time, he was just smiling at me engagingly. And I thought, what’s wrong here, he’s not examining me. Then I realized that I wasn’t playing right: I wasn’t being “open”. So I said the right things to keep it going. Presently, he told me that I was under a lot of stress. (Are you telling students they’re under stress?) ’ I asked him what he could see in my irises. He peered in each eye with an illuminating instrument and muttered something about my pancreas. “There’s something wrong with my pancreas?” I asked. He replied with something like, ‘Well, no, it’s just not balanced.” (And since being “balanced” is part of that “holistic” paradigm, we needn’t have too clear an ideaofwhat it means.) I then asked him if this was

time for cleansI said, cCHuh.” More pauses. My brother happened to walk by, and tugged my hair. Mr. Iridologist then asked me ifI knew that person, and I said, yes, quite well; he’s my brother. Pause. Gaze. Then a phrase to the effect of, deep-rooted f;unily angst. Eventually, the real ‘Yorker”: “You don’t get a lot of exercise.” Now, I get quite a bit of exercise, and I reflexively started to say “w-” (well) or WY’, after which he said, CCH~wmuch exercise do you get.P Later, from out of the blue (or hazel), he says, “Good constitution.” (Actually, no.) Also, at some point was,

somerhhg myseif by

seen them-k

I could

see at home

looking in a mirror. “IIt depends .” Upon what? How open I am with myself? I thought this was a “science and practice of observing.” He asked me if I did cleansing with herbs. He told me

spring ing.

was a good

ccSensitive

guy.”

(Oh,

yes!)

The pamphlet is titled “Holistic Consulting Services”, and is 111 of grammatical errors. Many services are offered, including a nutrient supplement program (competitively priced, I’m sure). Also Gem/crystal remedies, “...strong catalysts to higher levels of healing.” As well, there’s Radionics: “employs the super-sensory faculties df the practitioner [yes, we’ve action]

to determine

the underlying causesof disease.” We have Psychotherapy, with past life regressions. Also, Body balancing: CCTheobject is to elicit the causal levels and to aid you to free. yourself of blockages by aligning

yourselfwith your higher selfthus wholeness is experienced.” Is this process symbolic or literal? (How about a walk in the park?) The section on stress went right over my head. Near the end we are told that, “The forgoing has been quite a sweeping generalization and can in no way justifir the definition ofholism nor is it meant to.” No argument there. “Make an appointment to-day.. .” The address given is a business plaza, way off any main drag. On the main plaza sign, unit G was blank. But there was a sheet of paper on the door to identify the place. There are 2 1 office hours a week. Heck, this guy can play more goX than any doctor. An hour’s consultation costs eighty dollars. Thus, if he can maintain a clienteleof, say,15 peopie,that’s $1200 gross a week. Should you make an appointment? Well, this advice in the pamphlet is free: “Choice is always there. Ail of us have choice. No matter the station [sic] .” Now I’m feeling anger, anger at the possibility that this guy may be just a flimflam

practicdy, name’s

artist-

Rut what,

is the difference?

His

given as “John N. Nauss B.A. Id. &c.“, and “hails from historic [sic] province of Nova Scotia,” Idly, I wondered what sort of neighbourhood this guy

lives in; his is one of the few phone listings with no address. There are accessible, critical analyses on the basesand efficacies of practices such asthe above. On p. 280 of A Cmmmer~s G-k& to Akemwtive Medicine, Kurt Butler states, “It is time for feminists to realize that quackery is a women’s issue because women are its main vi&s. The same is probably true of. . .all the New-Age humbug so popular these days. Clearly, a major goal of both the feminist and antiquackery movements should be to greatly increase the scientific literacy of girls and women.” This health fair was supposed to be empowering to UW women and the cause at large; yet it actually may have been victimizing women. Some qualifications: I realize some people may find genuine comfort in some “altema.tivc” treatments. I do not think “mainstream” medicine is without its problems. However, on what amount ofcritical, informed analysis do you dismiss the whole thing as fundarnentaily flawed? (Just because some course you took l

glibly ence

stated

the

imprecise

bathwater

you’re

throwing

How do you make sure? -

%ci-

is not objective”?) There may be a baby in that

Tmce

Dick

out.

IMPRINT,

By Kelly Foley, Vice President Education The views in this column don’t necessarily represent you or me. If you agree or disagree with the views expressed here then let me know. Speak for yourself’! kefoley@feds.watstar.uwatcrloo.ca or ext. 2340

The screen saver axiom has replaced the fridge magnet for the supremacy of corny but poignant wisdom. My screen saver is currently programmed to quote Isabelle Allende, me nail never believes in the hammer until it is hit.” Before I disCOVered this little pearl, my idle computer paraphrased Kahlil Gibran from 2%~ prophet, Tour children are not your children, they are the sons and daughters of tomorrow% longing to be.” But I digress. The topic of debate this week, is political activism at UW. I’ve always been proud to be a UW student. It’s what drives me to do this job and I suspect what motivates the hundreds of volunteers across campus. One of the elements that has most impressed me about this campus is the Fragmatism, the maturity and intellect of the students. It is the respect for democratic process. When something happens with which students don’t agree, their fust cry is always, ‘Why weren’t we consulted?” It’s like a collective mandate to say, “Listen, ifthere’s a problem just tell us md we’ll help you figure out the best solution.” It’s unfortunate, however, that some people call this apathy. There are a growing number of people that believe they can do nothing to impact decisions on this campus. In my opinion, that is not true. Personally, curiosity keeps me from ever giving up. Gee, I wonder what would happen if we try again.

FORUM

Friday, March 14, 1997

I am, however, incredibly fivstrated by those who purport to say LJW students today aren’t as political because we don’t %it-m” or have large rallies and ccpefform” acts of civil disobedience. To refizte that point I turn to a student revolutionary from Columbia University. In his 1968 publication l%e SWW~EPJV Statmmt, James Kunen pontificates on his experiences as a radical. At one point, his mother points out that it is hypocritical to ask for amnesty for one’s actions, She explains that neither Ghandi nor Thoreau would have asked for amnesty. Kunen responds by admitting he has not read either of them, but comments that, %handbi had no Ghandi to read and Thoreau hadn’t read Thoreau. They had to reach their own conclusions and so will I.” The point being that you must be very skeptical of anyone who tells you to stand up for yourself by doing what they say, including me, That said, I do want to tell you about an event that anyone can attend. Generally, I don’t use this column to advertise events but I feel that this one is so important it warrants a breach of that policy. On March 17, at 7:30 p. m., in Needles Hall 3001, Mario Bellabarba, Feds President, will make a motion to the Senate asking the university to take a stand against deregulation and differentiation. This is the hammer. Believe in the hammer.

Judith Yanira is an l&year old Salvodorean worker who is leading a campaign to raise awareness of the poor labour standards employed to make clothes that are purchased in North America.. ‘This shirt costs $34 incanada,” saysJudith, % El Salvador, we are paid 27 cents to sew these shirts for GAP One year after the bold announcement, former garment worker Hatwant Singh is sitting on a Queen’s Park committee that is evaluating changes to the the Ontario Employment Standards Act. She has adopted the tactic ofplacing large price tags on her clothes that she purchased at a local Northern Refections store. The tag reveals howToronto homeworkers are paid $1.48 to sew clothes that are sold on the market for $4190. Singh is participating in what has been termed a “sweatshop fashion show,” demonstrating how sweatshop labour conditions are becoming increasingly common in what remains of the Canadian garment industry. Ontario’s Conservative government is reminding workers that we need to lower our labour standards in order to remain competitive and to inspire foreign investment. For workers like Yanira and Signb, labour standards couldn’t possibly get any worse. Around the globe, women are being forced to compete over who will accept the lowest wages and the most horrid work conditions. A good example is that of the GAP cbthing company. Like so many other image-conscious retailers, it adopted

by Melissa

a code of conduct for minimum labour conditions. The GAP’s code promised, “fair and honest treatment of the people who make the garments GAP sells” and that Qbusiness partners may neither threaten nor penalize employees for the& effoits to organize or bargain collectively.” Mandarin International, a Ttiwanese company, owns a plant in the Salvadorean free-trade region that supplies the GAP with clothing. In them, young women were forced to work long hours for wages of $4 (US) a day. Most of the women were under 16 years old and were forcedto work 18 hour shifts. Some workers fainted from the unbearable heat and poor ventilation system. Young women were often forced to take contraceptives in order for the company to avoid paying maternity benefits. Faced with such horrendous condtions, the workers tried to organizea union. Over 300 of 800 workers were fired. The campaign to stop these disgusting practices finally came to North American attention in the fall of 1995. Yanira and others visited Canadian and US cities to rally support. Finally, on December 15, as increased protest acitivities were threatening to cut into the GAP’s profits and were bringing attention to the company, the GAP agreed toindependent monitoring of its Central American contractors. It seems that large companies only respond when their profits are threatened. GAP remains one of the few companies that is independently regulated.

MacDonald

No single issue has been as highly divisive in the herstory of the feminist movement as the issue of pornography. The so called ccSexWars” during the Eighties pitted anti-censorship feminists against anti-pornography feminists. I have always sympathized with the anti-censorship feminists but I have recently read a book that has forced me to reconsider, if not change my opinions. In her book Rmw~~apby and the Sex Crisis, Susan G. Cole talks about the fusing of sex, power, and violence that takes place in pornography. She seesporn as a tool in equating women and submission, and men and dominance. She doesn’t see any real diversity in modem heterosexual porn at aH. It’s the same supposedly kinky cliches over and over again. What she thinks we need is a rea! sexual revolution. Not a remake of the Sixties either where men made it “ungroovy” for a woman to say no. She’s talking about redefining sex. A whole new sexual paradigm. “Vanilla” feminists have been at the forefront of this attempt to eroticize equality and mutuality. We are so saturated in the patriarchal erotic code though, that it’s hard to imagine what this new sensuality could even be like. Cole is a radical Canadian anti-pornography feminist. She cuts through the intellectual abstractions of the civil libertarian stance to remind us all that porn is not a bunch of pictures, representations or fantasies. It documents the trafkking of real women. She believes pornography is a practice of the subjection of women for

sexual pleasure. I’ve seen movies where the women have bruises all over their bodies. Their smiles don’t hide their abuse. Pornography is not a victimless pursuit of personal pleasure. Women like Linda Marchiano pay the price for our fleeting orgasms. Merchiano, formerly known as Linda Lovelace, starred in the most commercially successful pornographic movie ever made: Deep Throat. She was basically terrorized into creating that film. In another she was forced to fuck a dog at gunpoint. Unfortunately her story is not exceptional. Sexually explicit materials are not the issue. So what is erotica and what is porn? Are “Playboy,” ccPent.house”and “Hustler’ porn? Cole believes they are. She thinks, and for the most part I’d have to agree, that these magazines present women assubmissive, masochistic brainless, nymph0 sex objects. They are horribly sexist.The women compete to be a “pet” or a “bunny.” Except for the celebrities, they have fake cutesy names, and often no last name at ail. I They are airbrushed until they look ch.ildlike. The mags are often racist too. One I saw had a picture of a black woman on it and the line “Dark Meat Fucker” underneath it. They reduce women to mere replaceable body parts and they perpetuate rape

myths.

Next week 1’11expand on Cole’s analysis and talk about why I still don’t really believe in censorship despite her arguments. Please allow me to finish presenting her views though before you write in, as this issue is far too vast to be summed up in one column.

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March 17 at 7:30 p.m., NH 3001, Mario Bellabarba will make a motion at UW Senate against deregulation and differentation. All are

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1 ave you ever tried thinking about nothing? And no, not the word nothing, not the concept of nothing, but just. . -nothing? Completely clearing your mind of all your problems and anxieties and concentrating on. . .nothing! It’s actually a very hard thing to do, if not impossible. Try it! Sit back, relax, close your eyes, and think about nothing. Can’t do it, can you? Cause immediately you are already thinking about thinking about nothing. And then you think, “Why am I doing this? I should be thinking about that mid-term coming up in poli-sci

l-l

or about that essay I still haven’t started for history or what am I going to do about tuition next term?” Or is this what you think you should be thinking about? You could be thinking about spending an afternoon doing absolutely nothing (which, incldentally, is a topic all on its own), or you could be thinking about the next new thing you want to try, taste, feel or experience. Maybe you could be thinking about the things you really should be thinking about. I don’t know: myself, I am tired of thinking. - Tasmina

Disclaimer: The following poem describes events that may or may not have occurred and should in no way be considered an admission of guilt on the par? of the author.

The lines of red and black reach deep into my soul I often feel as if Trapped in a portable washroom - Lois Sherman

I took a pee beside a tree. The police came, arrested me. How did they know? No one around, And I did hardly make a sound.

I sit idly waiting Waiting for the waves of thought to fill my head. They come in Like a tide. Bringing feelings and dreams and hopes and cares. The waves flow out of my pen. Before my eyes verses appear, like my mind is laid out on paper.

But someone heard and called the cops while I was dropping my last drops.

Pate1 The situation blew my mind. hey slapped me with a hefty fine. But I, indignant, would not pay. They beat me up, hauled me away. .

‘i i * They locked me in a private cell. ’ I think that this was just as well, as I did scream and fight and yell.

Killers ran loose after dark. 1was imprisoned for peeing in the park.

Seven~$&$, on mountain in the woods gentI@w@wn be&e the darkened sky. d&&ed in robes, dressed in ..‘>..7hre#figures .&;r ,+..?$.@ darkened hoods “r”‘&iimbed through ever upward heights, unknown reason, unknown why. Solemn faces unseen travel, with drifting metered pace ever upwards ever intent, rigid sculpted faces lurch. Silent gait up the hill, crunching twigs below boot lace further still upward bound, as mourners to a church. Moistened moss-stench lingers, mists of breath are seen forward roving silent sentinels, up the mountain go. Behind branched canopy, behind golden-green under brush and behind thistle, hooded figures step low. Seven years ago, on a mountain in the woods gentle town down below, above only dark sky. Two figures dressed in robes, geared in darkened hoods intently ever proceeding, down rock face do slowly glide.

Sunflower, each morning you rise up, make the day hostage and hold your pistil to the sun. But night negotiates for his brother’s release and come evening you let him flee, demands not met, into the dark. This is why I laugh when you ask why the revolution dies every winter. ’ - Daniel Sendecki

It is dark. The beast prowls around the dark place with the rock-like ground, searching for prey, its eyes burning with a hunger ingrained upon its mind. It finds its prey walking out of a large, steel creature. The large steel creature goes away with a loud rumble, leaving the prey by itself. Almost by itself.

happen if it should kill by the bright lights, where everyonecan see it. The mind exerts its force over instinct, and the beast follows the prey, slowly and softly. The prey walks in hurried steps, for it knows the danger of walking alone at night. It walks straight for the space of seventy heartbeats, then turns to the right. The beast follows closely,

The hunger

its mind filling with bloodlust

mind

fills

with

at the smell of flesh, the taste of hot blood rushes to its

mouth. But it suppresses the urge to strike, knowing what would

fz m cm

- Jessica Laccetti

December revwlutimaw

Hunt

beast’s

- Adam W. Scott

- Jeffrey Grabell

The

as it

senses the prey’s fear. The prey knows that it is being followed, and fumbles around with its belongings as it walks, looking for a weapon with

which it can defend itself. The prey’s fear increases tenfold. The beast smells the prey’s fear, and its bloodlust overwhelms its need for caution. The beast strikes, killing its prey before it can defend itself. Hot blood erupts. It feeds. The beast is satisfied, and rests for a while4 always becomes docile and calm after feasting on warm, raw flesh. Then it remembers that it has to sleep early. It has to work tomorrow. - James Ho

Disclaimec The following poem contains 72 actual answersto UW final exams. Due to the University’s policy on cheating, you may not use my answers. I’m ready to write and that is a fact I’m a cool guy, so I sit in the back. Flexing my fingers I’m ready to go# d Hand out those papers. Let’s start the show. //: I’m on question one, I don’t know what to do. A looks right, B looks good, C and D do too. If only I’d studied, at least the night before, Not just opened my text as I walked in the door. Hey, I know this one, and the next one’s a snap. I can’t believe I remember this crap. In this desperate moment, I’m beginning to find All the wonderful stuff I have stuck in my mind. I’m going quite slowly, but doing quite well. Hold on a minute. . .do you smell that smell? There’s a beer being poured and its calling my name. Let me out of this

room,

I am sick of this

game-

Question 138 and I’m starting to fade, More worried about sanity than the strength of my grade. Twelve final quick questions and then I’ll be free. c c c, c c c, c c c, c c c.

- Adam W. Scott

am probably driving too fast, twisting down this river road through night and fog and pale shards of moonlight. It ISlate but I know the road. There fill be no one on it at this hour and so I push hard into the curves until my stomach reels and yaws-a test of my car and reflexes. This is the thing about driving: everything falls away until you are lean as an arrow, an empty vessel, hurtling through space and time stripped clean of your life. Everything you pass becomes a possibility, potential history: I have tended those hollyhocks going on thirty years; I wait tables in that tavern; I stand there on that corner every morning for my man to come off shift; back there is my favourite tree; over here is my first child playing alone on a midnight swing. I drive on and on until I no longer recognize anything, until I am startled by my own reflection in the rearview mirror. Here on the far edge of an unfamiliar town I am suddenly spent. I turn awkwardly into a hardscrabble lot and nose up to the side of a peeling clapboard restaurant. My body is shocked by the sudden motionlessness and I stand askew a moment, waiting for gravity to kick in. The steps seem huge and I climb them tentatively, easing upward, ashamed by my utter

gracelessness. The restaurant is empty. An immense woman with soft brown eyes turns from the TV and says “What can I getchuh t’night?” and I think, My God, get me some humility, some authenticity.

*‘Coffee, please. Double, double.” She pads off to the backand I slide into a red leatherette booth. The Americans are talking politics, six of them on a split screen trying to nail down who’s holding power this week, who should be and why they’re not, who could be if they would only just learn the dance, the delicate balance t “You don’t look so good.” She has set the perfect cup of coffee before me, steaming and sweet. If I look at her I will be gathered up into her warmth, I

wind and let it cajole me into the north field. l-lere in the middle of the field the wind rises and rushes head long into descending air from the north. The rain is--warm. It seeps effortlessly through all my layers so I let them go one by one until there is nothing left. The rain falls heavier now and gathers in shallow pool between the furrows. I curl into the ground and watch my fingers and toes disappear by slow degrees under the water until, without warning there is a tearing of clouds and another release of light and I am suddenly on my feet, gasping for air be-

Everything you pass becomesa possibility.. .

tween sheets of rain. I am wide-

will leak out all over, will never leave. Another possibility. “To go. Sorry. I didn’t say.” “S’alright.” she says, goodnaturedly, “Be a minute.” Just now a sudden gust and splattering of rain against the window. I dig for change. “Forget it. Drive careful.” No choice. I’ve lost my nerve. I settle back into the car and roll down the windows, push away from the wheel and breathe in the cedar and wet leaves. I nudge back onto the road, glad for the occasional broadside of rain. Some miles later I slip into familiar territory and then, before 1am ready, the long driveway through elderly maples. There are no lights on. I step from the car into a strong south

eyed and fully blind. Another strand of light and the house rears out of the dark. One step towards. Then another. The taut geometry of fear eases just enough for these small efforts over and over again until the door, the handle, and I am up the stairs and into the house. I have caught her right out of the shower. We both stand suddenly alert-two worthy animals startled in the clearing. She lifts her head slightly, unconsciously, as if to check for something on the wind, fear or regret or remorse. In the last light of the fireplace, in thisway, she is breathtaking. I think, how is it that a person becomes home, the sweet sound of a familiar voice in the night, the lean curve of a body? How is it that she can stand there now with outstretched hands, ready to take me home, to let me try again? - Nan Shepherd

TEACHER TRAINING

‘hat’s the point? Really. What’s the point of it all? Work, sleep, play. Inane schedules determined by others telling me how to and why I should, and what I can’t. When I’m gone, will it really matter? Will anyone bat an eyelash for me? The world will continue without so much as a sigh. And in retrospect, my story is over as soon as it is begun. From the cradle to the grave, nothing of substance nothing of value, yet admired by millions. If I were to disappear from this soil

Am I worth anything morethan theptice of myfuneral? tomorrow, and when the grieving is done, will anything have changed, will anything I do, make anydifferenceat all? I siftthrough the hypocrisy daily, doomed to see, unable to act. Impotent to help, to stop, to change; ruined by expectations and pressures; ashamed by inadequacies, jealousies, rage; what’s the point? Around every corner, every other person, blissfully ignorant to me, my problems, my needshappy. Happy. A word without power any more. There is no happy. There is pain, and there is lack of pain. Happy has fled or perished. What’ the difference? Often I’ve wondered, alone in dark rooms, with Moonlight Sonatas or Unchained Melodies for company, boxAcutter in hand - symbol of all my failures, would it really hurt that much? Impotence grabs hold again though. I lack the courage for even this

;‘ IA$.

4Jf !ii

RS1‘ry

STURT ,/--1 ---ICHARLES U N 1 V E

\‘;--

INFORMATION SESSION ‘i Dean of Education of Charles Sfurt University welcomes you to an Information Session for Primary or T\ Secondary Certification.

:,,

islands.

For more infamzation, please contact Robert Miller 3 Polo Ct., Ancaster, Ont., L9K 1H8. Fax: (905) 648-7133 Tel,: (905) 648-7 130 or email: rmillar@networx.on.ca

.,. . : ? <:‘.-‘s,.

softly, gently, whispered to the other side. Simple, yet I cannot do it. Do I lack the courage of my convictions? Am I asking for help? Am I worth anything more than the price of my funeral? Am I more that just the sum of my debts? What’s the difference? No one cares. I had a flower-a gift. I tried to take care of it, checked the leaves every day, kept it in a bright area, watered it every seven days. It died. I told her it died. She said maybe I just wasn’t meant to take care of flowers. Maybe not. It’s too difficult. Powerless. Gould have been my name, should be my motto. There is no point. No fucking point at all. It’s late. I have to sleep, much to do tomorrow, much to be forgotten by the next day... - Paul Kostal

:>.,::.::’ . bug-like eye~.~‘,~~~~~~~g out of be your fault. The kid thinks it’s its nasal caQ&& o%&Iz.?-hatdivot the best game in the world, keepand intq:~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~mrSioning it up until it runs out of energy . :,. .y.:<. .+y+: :’ :y al 1 , it,,:, &if@ ~~~f~f@k+ pi ?.“&(T or snot, whichever comes first. ternpi’ t&v. &&~‘ttie ~&j$@ You continue the pursuit, “““:” rett@@~~k &o ,$@ its nos,$@Cx5s. sometimes lagging only seconds Thg&&& @+ it is 6 behind the brat, sometimes entire minutes if the surrounding kj~:s n:‘~~e,,:~o “‘that :,5he snot area is suffering from sneeze . &aii&q. . clothes, do&@t .i& fallout. Eventually, it loses its the li~~~~i~~:~~~~~~~y, Ieaving enthusiasm for this game and a snot’fr&l t&t eyen atblind man flops down in a pool of its own snot. There you are, standing over it, ready to wipe away that elusive green gop when the parents walk in and see you standing in the midst of their disheveled home, furniture scattered around you, covered, de:*,,$piteyour best eff arts, in a film of gbq ..e..* snot. :j.,. .v.d--+ :Q

rice upon a time, I used to be a baby-sitter. It wasn’t something I did out of great love for children or a need to contribute to my community-I’m a mercenary at heart and all that got me through those six to eight hours were my plansforthe money. In pursuit of these materialistic goals, I witnessed many eye-opening things about smallhumans, most

“cowardly” act. Much more difficult than the media has led me to believe. The media. God. What’s the difference? I lap up the milk, drink it down, am exposed to the poison. I tell myself that I see through it, that I am immune. Yet another lie. Perhaps the box-cutter is too direct. Not one for pain, I’ve shunned it my entire “life.” Could I really watch as I slowly faded away? What if I changed my mind? Impotence. A leap of faith from the highest peak perhaps? If I’m meant to live, will I be saved? An overdose of sleeping pills. ted

. c

1 .;

y th&t &&h y~l;‘::,g&$~‘$vipe the

- Liz Monier-Williams

ii rows

Disclaimer: The author is not a trained health professional. Pfease consult your doctor before making changes to your diet.

in your china fingers a thin-waisted rose rimmed with morning dew offers its chin for your lips elsewhere his small eyes murmur vague obscenities and the television laughs, applauds

My cow has stripes and dots Sometimes I wonder if she Really is A zebra

Hotdogs and pasta for dinner once more. They give me funny looks at the grocery store. I can’t afford toppings. I can’t afford sauce. Do you have any idea how much that shit costs?

- Lois Sherman When I visit home, I eat oodles and oodles. Roast beef and potatoes sure beat Mr. Noodles. Ten times a week I eat rice and beans. I’d trade it all in for a few leafy greens.

you see yourself there holding this rose (breathing) taking aim (breathing)

I tried living off the land and it was pretty damn scary You don’t want to tangle with those poison berries. I ate tree leaves and bark, even drank the sap, 15 minutes later, couldn’t hold in my crap.

. .. now the dance of your hands this way that waythe fierce crack and kick of the stalk a splay of cartridges and rose petals (now) only vaguely do you see yourself drop the rose hear the clatter (and) one final report as the heads of poppies grow from his white brow

-?fT.lying

I wake up in the mornings, not feeling well; 1get through my day, just a few fainting spells. My health is pathetic, my life’s topsy turvy ever since I came down with a bad case of scurvy.

you

- Adam W. Scott

she is blind, so am i we each in a different way feel her anger. my skin feels but her epidermis must also see. blindness within. my brother speaks of this blindness too, the withdrawal from pain. the soup mix i soaked last night bloomed overnight i awoke and discovered my hands had been bleeding; an accident the beans and peas glowed against porcelain with a pregnant woman’s radiance so regal like neat packages of hydroponic lettuce breathing on the market shelf. thankful for my sight, i praised the light of day the light of the world allowing me to see the pretty progeny subjects of Mendel’s devotion: sweetpeas and the serenity of things green. ill have to notice delicate and fine things like this more often like the way the small yellow navy beans flowered violet where the embryo would emerge (it’s sweet and innocent, like a child’s eyes) the black beans, lentils, mung, navy, black-eyed, green, yellow peas swimming like babes in a sea of amniotic fluid the barley seeds so full of water they burst at their seams now i don’t have the heart to cook them, forget the beef stew. a strange revulsion and fascination came on when i saw how one Great Northern Bean had developed shocking red veins overnight i didn’t expect to enjoy a dollar bag of bulk soup mix so much. i usually just eat. but this time it was a feast for my eyes, so accustomed to sight in appreciation

- Lois Sherman

My small OSAP loan barely covers tuition. I can’t afford books, much less nutrition. My body is shrinking. My stomach it hurts. But I’ll feel better soon; I bought beer for dessert.

- Daniel Sendecki

they had been impoverished

I soar over mountaintops through lush valleys, over lakes of crystal I feel the wind rush through my hair until 1 crash into a tree

for the beauty of the ordinary.

Have you ever been sitting in history class with your mind in a daze, and your head up your ass? And you’re pretty darn sure that your hearings not right cause it sounds like this lecture is about bowling night. Your Prof. gives you crap for not paying attention. You were forty minutes late, but that goes unmentioned. Last night you felt fine. Hell, last night you felt great. You drank quite a bit, and you stayed out quite late.

Imaginationsuch a powerful word It pokes fun at all that is ordinary I raise it to a higher level I sit with my pen that is mightier than your sword you try to fight it diligently with your words Alas, you try to conform me to your norms and standards When mine are much higher You are fearful scared that I won’t walk your walk will not think your thoughts. You are afraid of my education, my brain You take me beyond your King’s men lined up against a wall trying to slow me down Wishing to do your every request and bowing to your every whim, I am NOT like your King’s men You can try but I will not succumb to what is normal. - Jessica Laccetti

It’s a war against beer and beer always wins. When you’re this darn hung over, may as well sleep in. - Adam W. Scott

h?ath Came Einocking e knocking

- dzo djuai

A big thank you to every one who stibmitted materi&l and a HUGE thank you to TasminaPate1for ~llustrzhg,

door

covered the entire floor thus began to speak, is wane and weak. , this I must confess. e wrong address!” - Wang

Lai

t’s only an hour or so after noon, but the sun is popping in and out of urgently moving clouds so that darkness glides across the ground,

surance that it is May. I have grown weary of this stretch; from here to Bigg’s Donuts; I am sick of the shops and having to weave in and out of people. 1 say people, a generalizing word, but there’s not much that’s similar between them; sOme go fast, some slow, some go this pop way,jn and S*me and some out ofthat. tp)e stores unexpectedly, others stop on a dime and merely tuok irr the windows. Some things are shared; their imagined urgency, their dreamy, greedy, transient curiosities make them alt much too concerned with themsalves to natice anyone else- If You didn’t believe th& jcou knew better, you’d pmt>ably think that they were automatons. There’s a stopped man an

a dying patient, trying to prolong whole mess he pulls out into its life. And it’s hot chocolate. traffic. A Toyota slams into him. Oon’t like coffee, and doubt I Whoops. ever will. Never had a sip of it I don’t know whether you’re supposed to stay as a witn?ss at ., that I Iiked unless it was with a lot that kind of situatiun, but in &ny of milk, or too much sugar. So I event, I wasaIrq?dy late, and he sit instead with a hot chocolate, was an, .a@sh#,iai,: .Maybs I pretending it’s coffee, waiting for shouldn’t,say.ith& ‘@ pj&t be : McAlfister, who is already a half dead aft&r.an. Stiil, t hop ba’s. hfmr late* Here’s the tricky part; I was not dead, but trutttfull~~ t: vary..‘ a few minutes late, but now she much dqobt !h~~..,&i~.~&&I~ any time mouinjfjg fii&fj+&j, q&j&, isn’t here and it’s half past. Do I &y a little longer? Say ‘till forty

rather I can fee/it--and f know I am being examined through the peephole. The delay adds tomy excited anticipation. McAllister opens the door and I see her red face, tears standing in her eyes, and moist cheeks that have just been dried,

She tells me everything, and I tell her nothing. The mask I wear is a heavy one, with my living deceit and my unspoken lies crafting a forced smile. My obsession makes certain that I

the Toyota battlefield, I cross the street and am greeted by the familiar Mr. Bigg’s establishmsnt, It’s not convenient for of us to go there, but McAllister

a bjwcle UPahead* He has the bike turned somewhat sideways, so as to block as much SidewaJk tmffic as he cm and now he turns the wheel to insure maximum inconvenience. What an asshole4e’s looking around now, looking for something You have to stop pedestrians to see, I guess I ebw

street. Especially since Huxton’s donuts are a vary convincing fresh, even when they’ve bean on the rack all day; Bigg’s arrive in a cardboard box in the mom-

At the ground floor there’s quite a ruckus naw, and 1 don’t need to ring myself UP; the POlice are at McAllister’s buik%ng, holding the doors open for other patice without uniforms. The

him more than s@$Was

1walk past. A few moments later, he is up again, weaving through people on his bike, lie passes on my left, affnost tauching me, and then thinking better of the

gaes d&n in 8 minute, but from there on out, it’s like I’m nursing

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forced to deal with things I can- to fill. 1 hgd been expecting the relief that’ Cddn’t’iw&t ‘@’c#wn not deal with. My mind changes usual; hands, arms, even lips, my eyesagain. I know$0E#Jrse, and I’m caught in the headlights but this was so different, so un- that if I couldn’t open :jh@rn, : again. expected. 1 never knew sgmethen l’d want to. Now her6 f am.;;;:! Terror grips me as I con- one could lean against you and the forever cynical bastard,il;. sider why McAllister may not make you feel it in your soul. I wanting to stay-qes. c!c&$ have been able to make it for loved the-feding, and my body:” in her hair--forever. coffee-what may have hap- my faca--betaayed me. I I think I will die with alI words pened to her--and 1 fill in the dreame~th~~.n~gR~of me gently unsaid, and become a co@@: story with a worst-casescenario. returni&the sentitient instead, in the ground. I wonder h&v But I see police outside one of and how “our. relationship might many wilt be glad that it was me be ten years down the road. the doors to a first floor apartand not someone they knew, I merit, and through the &or 1see I always have such f&i& kno.w McAllistar will grieve; a body bag being zipped up with dreams. TOO s&Wnental I morningthedeath ofa man she an unfamiliar face, and it reguess; alwa~~thinkingten~a~s never knew, A man she knew in lieves me. There’s something effigy alone, Will I ever reatb down the ~QXL NOW it’s. n@ yei very sick about that, but hon- ten years :f@r. bu! it ‘:@years qlie?‘l’ve never even lived. estiy, 1g~@s @I,~~qe~~~ had to l@r $@c@$tq espyF,:are f#ceold . She’s pouring words now, +,pj* WI&~” ‘,..&t they sp~~V down .nry batik, die,, .i’d .:~~t~eq:::,~~.,~~~l~~~strange~r-qsn il-&@fi$S~ tha+,&J!#i~~~& ~~~~~,~~~~,!‘~: : ,,,,::)I&@&#~:@%f: t@$~~$w&+ld jand: ; ::,and onto: ha? sc&: whl@: fl&r. I real ty &@&j& @#i$ #J~~~~j@$~f I ‘;”)f&j!bQ-: M&h gt&..$ pi-f!&@& :y,‘,,ghou{d’ &f.&I_)::,:. :j. kit. jbn1. ._ t .,.,:..:..._.tb ._. ‘1:‘$im asometrmesd~~~~~~g~~~~ti:~I 1,:byt:j!.m, &~~‘ifi:~@~~,*flS: end, a stranger &$h : ~~~~~~~~~~ ,.‘1,: altmi&c ideath go? 1sit a thing of fa#lJa&y ~$$#/,:‘ij E;$f*;fI ,__., .;;:,jJd &&&,j~, ,__,_ .::I: f-:.~‘i$:f+~j~ &‘$ .I.:” :iz;:‘. ..:;z:; I<.:~~:I~::.c:~:II~.:.::.:; .,;.::;I..::..‘:;;~: <.:::;j~.:.:~.y;.?pI .: we $@;.!a:;. r@auf&fif.;:: I$.“‘I-::iF”.~~~i:‘:‘I’ii :T~C~.~:;;~:’ .;;.j,lj-:;.z:$T CZ:fll, !j ;. of my writings and vmfdg arid” 1;‘@~gs;” I’.‘.: ::y:::.. ::::.. I,:;I.:.2::. : : :.:.:. W$ sit Wh@Q tie’ &, :yji:’ ‘yf ):,,_., :ig:, .;I:.: ‘. heart, but not of my mind’? ‘..’ : h&@, : ::.. :,,:::. ::,_. :i;.+#@#qp~*~g .:,i. . .’., .I, Then we t&;.,Yeam ‘w& she “; . ...; :.“f ,‘:, “1’ ” I;.‘:I;‘:. Straight ahead t0 the eteva..:.. .::.. _: :._.__

Digital video The future is coming... by Stephen Johnston Imprintstaff

arch 14, 2002. Opening day for the last picture in the second Stur wars trilogy. You settle back in your seat, popcorn in one hand and Coke in the other. The lights dim. The previews begin, the commercials roll. The last commercial is for DTV: Digital Theatre Video -the newest enhancement in the theatrc experience. From the blood curdling roar of the Tyrannosaurus Rex in Jtivussic Park to the digital special effects in Tw&cr, digital technologies help make the magic of movies more realistic. Digital--one ofthe most overused buzzwords of the 9Os-is quickly becoming entrenched in the movie experience. Many movie theatres advertise DTS, THX, or Dolby Surround Sound systems in an attempt to fill mare and more seats. But digital technologies are not just used for improved theatre sound. Increasingly, digital technology is being used in ail aspects of film making, from the filming, through post-production, and in the theatre itself. DigitalCameras

Digital video cameras are quickly gaining popularity due to their many advantages over 3 5mm or 7Om.m film formats. Based on mature computer and video technologies, digital cameras are rapidly coming down in price. Top quality consumer digital cameras such as Sony’s DCR-VXClOOO are currently available for under $6,000, and professional digitaI cameras like Sony’s HDC 500 are not significantfy more expensive than comparable film cameras. Digital cameras allow the director to see the results of a film shoot the instant it is completed. The director can quickly decide whether additional fling is required, saving the money and time required to re-shmt later or to fix errors in post-production. Blue screen technology-filming live action on a solid background and then combining with other footage-can be previewed during filming, saving additional costs. Because the film format is purely digital, digital cameras also Speecllupthep0st-pr0&XticXIpI-ocess.The digital media can be transferred directly into digital data storage, without the expensive and time-consuming conversion. Professional digital cameras currentlyrivalthequalityof35mm film. Current digital cameras have

gmphic a resolutionofover 2 million pixels, and it is inevitable that digital will approach and surpass the quality of 7Orn.m film in the near future. Even consumer level digital cameras are rapidIy improving. Currently, camcorders capture images digitally on a silicon chip and then convert the image to analog. The newer digital cameras skip the conversion process, and record the digital information directly on tape. The Sony DCR-VXClOOO camera captures a horizontal resolution of over 500 lines, or just over 400,000 pixels-a vast improvement over what was available even a year ago. Post-Production mer all the live-action scenes are shot, a film enters Qpost-production”-the process where the individual shots are combined to make a movie. Although digital video effects are most apparent to moviegoers, they are not the most significant benefit of digital technology. Computers are frequently used for non-linear video editing, in which conventional film from two or more tapes is merged to create the final masters. This process,known as A-B roll editing, is time consuming and error-prone. This process can easily be automated with computers. The editor determines where the transitions between scenes occur, and the type of transition required. Transitions can be simple cuts, fades, dissolves, wipes, or one of hundreds of digital effects. Once the “edit decision list” (EDL) is complete, the computer makes a master tape, If the timing of transitions need to be changed, it is easy to change the EDL parameters and roll the tapes again. In a more complex setup, the entire film is digitized. Because both the source and destination are in digital format, there is no

loss in picture quality in the foal master. The editing process, known as non-linear editing, is also faster and more flexible. The increasing importance of computer animation and special effects in movies is obvious to any film critic-just look at recent movies likehd$edtwe Day and Twkte~ Realistically shaded and textured computer generated creatures such as the dinosaurs in Jwassic~a~k are not ody possible, but increasingly commonplace. Computers are also used to create background images. In the origjinal Star Strikes Back,

Wars:

The Etnpire

Cloud City was created using ahandful ofmatte paintings that look fake by today’s standards. Cloud City was almost completely remade in the currently playing Spe~zi~~Ed&h, and the changes make the scene much more realistic and lifelike. No longer are artists limited to static background scenes,but other elements such as moving air-cars and spacecraft can be added with ease. DigitalTheatre Digital video is already a reaiity in the home, with DVD phyers currently available from Pioneer and Sony. DVD players use a disc the same size as standard Compact Discs, and can store up to 13 3 minutes of audio and video per side. Audio is stored in Dolby AC-3 format, an advanced five channel surround sound system. Thepicturequalityofthenew DVD system fz exceeds standard video cassettes. Further, because the DVD format can store the 16: 9 *‘wide-screen” theatre standard, it is possible to get extremely close to the theatre experience with a good quality home system. The Pioneer DVD-500 is currently for sale locally for under $800; expect this format to become extremely popular over the

by Steve Jdmston

next few years as the price of DVD players drops. Just like the music industry’s transition from cassette to CD, movie producers want to promote the DVDs becauseoftheir lower cost andhigher profit than traditional video tapes. Movie theatres still have a long way to go in regards to digital video. Cost is a major factor, and even the best projectors cannot display on screensmore than forty feet wide. Movie theatres will only install digital video projectors if they provide better quality than traditional projectors at lower cost, Digital video is more stable than traditional film, which is vulner-

able to light and heat, but digital projection will probably not approach the quality of film for at least another decade. Digital’s forte ii~ the movie theatre is in sound. Current technologies, such as DTS or Dolby Digital, are inexpensive. The DTS6D processor costs a mere $6,400 (US) per theatre. The DTS audio processor, containing three CDROM drives, can store an entire soundtrack for the movie. Unlike DTS, Dolby Digital does not require a separate player for sound. All information isstored as digital data directly on the film. This data is fed to a decoder, w&h converts the information into six channei surround sound. So what will theatres be like when the last of the next Star Wars movies is released? By then, most theatres will have converted to digital surround sound systems. Some theatres and movie studios will be experimenting with digital film formats, and digital cameras and production equipment will be standard. For home use, expect the DVD player to be the home theatre standard for the next decade. With large screen high definition televisions and high quality sound systems, it might actually be better to watch movies at home than in the theatre.

Notice is hereby given of the

GENERAL MEETING OF THE FEDERATION

OF STUDENTS

Universityof Waterloo,a corporationunderthe laws of the Provinceof Ontario to be held on Monday,March 24, 1997at 7:30 p.m. in the Multi-PurposeRoom at the StudentLife Centre. Theagendafor this meetingis as follows: Appointment

Officers

of the Board

Report

submitregularW statementsand assist in the preparation of budgets. The Generaf Manager shall prepare qxrts ardor statistics as requested and required by the Vice-Resident, Administration and Finance. The General Manager shall raommed and give supervision to capital expenditures. The General Manager shall be respomible to the Students’ Council through the President and the VicePresident, Administration and Finance.

of Directors.

1996-1997.

Motion pursuant to By-Law 1, Article Federation OiStuderrtar Fee be set at $24.10 1,1997.”

Moth to amend By-Law to read m follows:

IV: “Be per student

it regokved that the effective September

Article VII, H, concerning

Quorum,

Motion fdlowa:

Meetings

b. A quorum for the transaction of business at meetings of the Students’ Council shall be calculated when the thee meeting is called to order. It shall consist of a simple majority of the voting councillors, including proxies, and the elected Executive that have not been excused by the Speaker of one-third (10) of the total voting membership of council, whichever is higher. Quorum shall be lost if the number of voting members, including proxies, present falls below the original Quorum number. 5.

M&bn Manger

to ameud to read:

By-Law

1, Article

XLA,

paragraph

1, concerning

c. d. e. f g-

General

The General Manager shal1 establish, ad-mhiskr, maintain and supervise all necessary accounting and fmancial record of the Federation, and subsidiq organizations including Clubs and Societies, subject to the By-Laws of the Corporation and direction of the President; Vice-President, Administration and Finance; and Students’ Council. He/she shall also supervise all offke services and engage or discharge personnel as may be required, in consultations and on the approval of the Board of Directors. The Genera1Manager shall prepare and

THE AGENDA FOR THIS MEETING IS RESTFUCTEDTO THE ABOVE ITEMS OF BUSINESS, FOR WHICH PROPER NOTICE HAS BEEN GIVEN,

Mario Bellabarba President

REMEMBER!

!! !

PROXY FORMS ARE AVAILABLE IN THE FEDERATION OF STUDENTS OFFICE IN THE STUDENT LIFE CENTRE ROOM 1102. THESE MUST BE RETURNED BY FRIDAY, MARCH 21,1997 AT 4:30 P.M. THOSE ATTENDING,

PLEASE

MAKE

SURE YOU HAVE

By-Law

Commisebna of the Federation

of Students,

IUI

To amend A.i.4 to read: To appoint and oversee co-orclinators for each term in each Watpub location. To add item 6 to read: Tcive and facilitate students’ interest and involvet in wve ekation issues including the development of a volunteer base. To delete A.ii.4. To addA.ii.4 to read: To enmurage and facilitate students’ interest and involvement in their a&demic issues including the development of a volunteer base. To add A.ii.7 to read: To oversee the administration of the Academic Rights Advisors. To delete A.iii Exkmal Commission. To add A.iii National Affairs Commission to read: Duties and Functions To encourage and develop programs dealing with education 11 issues of national interest such as but not limikd to accessibility, accountability and student mobility. To assist the Vice-President, Education in encouraging and 2) developing programs to raise the awareness of national lobbying groups and national issues. To assistthe Vice-President, Education and students’ council 3) with the development of policies regarding natiokl issues. To -age and facilitate students’ interest and involvement 4) in national issues including the development of a volunteer base. To add A.iii Provincial Affairs Commission to read: Duties and Functions To encourage and develop programs dealing with education 1) issues of provincial interest such as but not limited to accessibility, accountability and student mobility. To assist the Vice-President, Education in encouraging and 2) developing programs to raise the awareness of provincial lobbying groups and provincial issues. To assistthe Vice-President, Education and students’ council 3) with the development of policies regarding provincial issues. To encourageand fcilitate students’ interest and involvement 4) in provincial issuesincluding the development of a volunteer base.

Motion G amend to read as fobws:

By-Law

4, Student

Issues

To maintain a Student IssuesResource Centre. 8.

ALL

to amend

Adjournment.

Resource

Centre,

Section

ILA

Admit

One

Athenascapturenational bronze by Chris Bastie special to Imprint

he varsity track team travelled to Windsor for the CIAU championships this past weekend. The Athenas collected four individual and two relay medals along with ftve varsity records en route to capturing the third place in the nation. Starting off the meet was the ovcnt that Jill Bcnnctt has owned for the past number of years at Waterloo, the 6Om hurdles. Second at the OWAAs and ranked fifth in Canada, Bennett ran mastcrlidly to improve to fourth place. knnett also competed on the Athena 4x200m relay with teammates Rachel Nickie, Heather Moyse and Rlanka Sharma. The quartet proved they could run with the best of them with a fifth place finish. Completing the sprint side of the women’s meet was a bronze medal performance by the team ofNickie, Moyse, Dillabaugh and

r -------------------------------o-----------------------I

First Round

I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

I I I I I I

Second Round

LeRay in the grueling 4x400m relay. Dominating the relays was the name of Waterloo’s game. With the fastest time in Canada over the 4x800m distance this year, Lynn Coon, Sepanta Dorri, LeRoy and Dillabaugh attained a gold medal and CIAU all Canadian status. Not even having begun to fight, LeRoy and Dillabaugh each acquired two additional individual medals. Dillabaugh won a gold medal after posting the fastest 1OOOmtime in the country this year, 2:47.64. Dillabaugh’s next medal came in the 1500m where a fabulously engineered race gave her a silver medal in a PB time of 4:20’,95. Both of Dillabaugh’s efforts are now established asvarsity records and will, in most likelihood, stand for some time to come. Producing equally impressive results was none other than Judith “leading the pack” LeRoy. Even after helping pace Dillabaugh in

Sweet S&teen

Elite Eight

the 1500m, LeRoy still managed to cross the ftish line for a bronze medal in a PB time of 2:26.73, LeRoy then took a silver in the 3000m, shaving over 15 seconds off her best time ever. Although the men’s team wasn’t expected to do as well as the women, they none the less had awesome results. Bill Miller, the rookie pole vaulter, amidst the stiffest competition the event has seen in years, went up and over like a seasoned veteran to end up sixth in the nation. Raul Martin, a fourth year actuarial science student and high jumper, surprised everyone with a 10th place finish after a fouryear lavofE &en more surprising was the performance of the Warrior 4x200m relay consisting of Kwame Smart, Tory Locker, Tulu Makonnen and Chris Bastie. Ranked eighth going into the meet, the team was not expected to make the finals. However, the

The CIAU gold medal bx800m team of Sepanta Dorri, Lynn Coon, Judith LeRc~y and Sarah Dillabaugh. photo

Warriors rose to the occasion and grabbed the last berth. This prompted the relay members to dye their hair gold and shave Warrior helmets into the back of their heads to show school pride. The team ran the race oft&r lives to finish in fifth place. All members will be returning next year and have vowed to only settle for gold. Eh

Eight

Sweet Sheen

by Kirk Dillabaugh

With a record setting year Waterloo’s track team ends their season making a huge impact on our school and on our country. How such a small team can do this weti despite not having the proper facilities can only be attributed to biood, sweat, tears and gallons and gallons of lactic acid. Second Round

First Round

SPORTS

IMPRINT,

Warriors wake up from hoop dreams by Peter Brown special to Imprint

A court

s he has been many times this season, Mano Watsa was the best player on the last Friday.

But the McMaster Marauders were the better team as they ended the Waterloo Warriors’seasdn with a 77-68 OUAA West semi-final

win at Varsity

Arena.

Watsa outplayed all-Canadian Marauder guard Titus Channer, but the Warriors could not withstand McMaster’s inside game, getting dominated on the glass in the second half tier being tied at 31-3I at halftime. McMaster showed its defensive tenacity on Saturday by rebounding from a l&point halfkime deficit to Guelph and coming back to beat the Gryphons 61-48 in the West final to qualify for the national championships in Halifax. On Sunday, the Marauders regained their claim to the top ranking in the nation and numberone seed for the national tournament by edging the previously top-ranked Laurentianvoyageurs 68-64 in the Wilson Cup QJUAA

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And the Warriors? They were left to reflect upon another semi-final loss, but a season that saw them mature greatly as a team. ‘&We made some big-time progress,” said UW head coach Tom Kieswetter. “If you look at this team, we’re going to be together for a while. The future looks good; we’re just not happy with where we are right now.” The promise of Watsa’s second year finally bloomed this season as he developed into the division’s best point guard and led a youw Warrior squad to the final four. “Last year, we felt really bad tier losing to Western [in a semifinal at G$ps Colise&] because

we had fifth-year players like IMark Hopkins andTom Ba& for whom that was their last game,” Watsa said. CCBut this loss was not as hard to take simply because we know that this group of players will be

together, hopehlly, for a couple more years .” In Friday’s game, the Warri-1 ors completely outplayed the Marauders at the guard position. Watsa finished with 27 points, including two three-pointers in the final minute to turn a once&point lead into a single-digit one. Marc Rigaux poured in 19 points, powered by four first-half three-pointers, including a buzzerbeater off the glass that tied the game at 39-39. Meanwhile, the Warriors held Channer to just 15 points on 5-of15 shooting. But IMac’s inside game killed UW. Veteran forward Shawn Francis led Mac in scoring with 17 points, but also collected nine rebounds, as did teammate James Akrong. Vojo Rusic was also instrumental, with 14 points and eight boards. “The Marauders really crashed the boards hard offensively,” Watsa said. ‘We had a breakdown for a short period and that turned out to be the difference. They gapped us enough to hold on.” “Inside, our guys played hard,” tieswetter said. ‘We just got beat up. Nothing that 30 or 40 pounds per man couldn’t have helped.” The score sheet told the tale. While Watsa and IGgaux combined for 46 of Waterloo’s 68 points, the big trio of DerekMaat, Dan Schipper, and Mike Zavershnik, who combined for for 24 points per game in the regular season, scored only nine against McMaster, Mark Eys managed just one point, but did snare n&e rebounds.

Friday, March 14, 1997

Athletes

the week A fourth-year

stu-

dent from Mississauga, Makonnen ran a personal best time in the 4x200 metres at CIAU track and field championships in Windsor this weekend, leading the team to a surprise fifth-place fmish. Makonnen and

his teammates were not expected to make the finals in the event.

This terrific twosome, wholed UW to a CIAU cross country title in the fall, were

big win-

ners again at CIAU indoor track and field championships in Windsor on the weekend where the Athenas pIace third overall. Diilabaugh won the 1OOOm and was second in the 1500m, while LeRoy was second in the 3000m and third in the 1500m. The two then joined forces to help take the gold in the 4x800m relay and bronze in the 4x400m.

CR Leadersof the week

Stephanie Burr (left) and Nancy Vanboxrneer (Fitness Coordinators) are the Campus Recreation Student Leaders of the Week. Stephanie and Nancy both worked very hard in running the successful Fit for Heart program last month. This program had participants raise or donate money to the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Ontario while participating m various aerobics activities. This day long event raised 3300 ,dollars for the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Ontario.

AL East

B&more Orioles Manager : DavqJohnson Hello:

PJimmy

Kiy

(Tankeer),

UF 2%

(IX&, SS Mike Bmdick (Athletics) Goodbye: P David Wells (Yankees), Bonda

@4arlins),

.?B Todd Zeih

(Athletics), OF Mike Creenweti clapan) Keys to Success: Urn, a lot of surprisingly good seasons from mediocre players. P Steve Avery is the new act of the staff, but he couldn’t even stick with the Braves. They have no revenue as long as they stay in Fenway, and their talent level shows it. The Man: Ma Vaughn - Why? Because he is all the Red Sox have left. They lost Clemens and Canscco and they will lose Vaughn. He’ll give you avcragc, run production, home runs and leadership. What more could you ask for? Prediction: 65-97

Cameco

Dali

OF Bobby

(Dodgers)

Keys to Success: Putting all those egos aside. The ftrst half of 1996 was a write off, but once the O’s started to play like a team, they made the playoffs.Thc talent is thcrc, but is the attitude? The Man: Cal Ripkcn - The pride of Baltimore and the rest of the lcaguc, Ripkcn quietly had another great season last year, btcaking that old Lou Gchrig record. Expect the same this year. Prediction: 93-69

Hello:

Detroit Tigers Manager: 3&y Bell SS &-l&n& M&r (I&@,

C Matt

Wklbeck {Twins) Goodbye: DH

Toronto Blue Jays Manager : Cite Gaston Hello : I’ @er Cimens (ad Sax), OF Orlando Mewed (Pirates), 2B Carh Garcia (Pirates), C Renito Santiaflo (I%iliies) Goodbye: IBJohn OEevud (Mets) Keys to Success: With the dcvclopcd youngsters like DH Carlos Dclgado, OF Shawn Green and SS Alex GonzaIcz, plus the off-season additions, the Jays arc poised for another run at the post-season. P Erik Hanson should rebound from last season’s horror and the other starters look strong. But that bullpen... The Man: Pat Hcntgcn - The 1996 Cy Young winner is one of the best pitchers in baseball, and was rccognizcd as such. Hc can dominate a game and is a tough, durable pit&r. Prediction: 91-71

Ruben Sierva (Reds), C Brad Amms (Padres) Keys to Success: Let’s face, the Tigers will he hard pressed to win 70 games this year. GM Randy Smith oversaw the rebirth of the Padres, and will do the same with the Tigers. Sierra was eliminated, and they have young players at almost all positions. It’ll be another painful year for the Tigers3 but they will improve, IB Tony Clark could bc a keeper. The Man: Travis Fryman - He’s the only holdover from the mediocre tcarns of the last dccadc. Solid offcnce and dcfcnce, he’s tk best in Detroit. Predicition: 64-98 AL

Hello:

central

Chicago White Sax Manager: Tewy Bevingon OFAlbert Belle (Indians), P DoqQrabek

impending free agency, The Man: Manny Ramirez - He has put up great numbers, often batting as low as eighth in the order. He will surprise a lot of people. Prediction: 87-75

Minnesota Twins Manager: Tm IW@ Hello: C Terry Steinbach (Athkth), P Bob lhksbwy (P&&es}, 1B Gem Colhwm Ql&wlins) Goodbye: nune Keys to Success: They improved in the offseason, by picking a great catcher, a decent first baseman and a mediocre pitcher. They’re still feeling the loss of OF Kirby Puckett, but they have a leader in DH Paul Molitor. Keep an eye on 3B Todd Walker. The Man: Chuck Knoblauch - Signed a big deal during the season to stay in Minny. One of the top two second basemen in the league, he gets hits, RBI’s, runs, stolen bases and has power. Prediction: 82-80

Kansas City Royals Manager: Bob Buune Hello : SSJTy Bell (Pirates), IB Jt$K%d

(Pirates),

DH Chili Davis (Andeh)

Goodbye: P Mark Gubiczu (Angels) Keys to Success: The Roy& made a real steal, picking up King and Bell for virtually nothing. Adding Davis’ bat is a definite plus. Otherwise, the lineup is mediocre, but they have two stars in Kevin Appier and reliever Jeff Montgomery. The Man: Kevin Appier - One of the top pitchers in the league this decade, Appier has been plagued by little run support from the light hitting Royais. A tremendous talent. Prediction: 73-89

New York Yankees Manager: Jm Towe Hello: P David Wells (tiles), OF Mm-k whiten (Marintm), P MiRe Stun ton (RanJew) Goodbye : PJimmy Qy (h&j, PJobn Wctteland (Ranp-s), C Jha Leytitz (Angels) Keys to Success: The loss of Wcttcland leaves a gaping hole in the bullpen, which the team hopes LMariano Rivcra can fill. Can P Andy Pcttitc have another great year? The bullpen is shaky but most of the team is in place. The Man: Mariano Rivcra - Hc has to fill the void left by Wcttcland. He’s got a live arm and all the tools, but is hc ready for the prcssurc? Only time will tell. Prediction: 90-72

Hello:

P Steve AveT @haves), P John Witsdin (Athletics), P Chris Hammond (Marhzs) Goodbye: P Roger CYemens (Rhe Jays), UFJw

Texas &&.gers Manager: Johnny Oates Hello: P$&n Wettehd (Yankees), OF Mike Deveraux (Mks) Goodbye: SS Klepin Ehter (Pirates), P Mih Stanton

Hello: vume Goodbye: none Keys to Success: The Brewers dealt off most of their talent down the stretch and made no moves during tbc off-season. The pitching has potential, but there are more recognizabie names in the minor leagues than on this rosterPhi Garner has his work cut out for him. The Man: John Jaha - Afier the September purge, Jaha is the only remaining %a? on this team. He was pretty good last season, but expect a drop offwithout the talent around him. Prediction: 67-95

AL west

Cleveland Indians Manager: Mih Hhgrove 3B Matt Williams (Giants),OF Chad

(Xa~kees,)

Keys to Success: Last year was a fluke, with Elstcr racking up 99 RN’s and Rusty Grcer notching more than a 100, plus the accomplismcnts ofMVP OF Juan Gonzalez, 1B Will Clark, 3B Dean Palmer and C Ivan Rodriguez. With a better bullpen, and a solid starting five, they will be contenders. The Man: John Wettcland - With Mike Hcnneman as their stopper last season, Texas had nothing in the late innings. So, they shclicd out the big bucks for the World Series MVP and will get the results. Pre&ction: 89-73

Oakland Manager:

Athletics Art Howe

Hello: OFjose Canseco (Red So.@ Goodbye: C T&y Stehba& (Ttpins), (hd

Sax), SS Mike Bordick

P John (On&s)

Keys to Success: The reunited Bash Brothers, plus the bats of OF Geronimo Berroa and 3B Jason Giambi make this a scary lineup. Pitching is scary, especially without Steinbach, and could be either decent or downright ugly. The Man: Mark McGwire - Last season he had a phenomenal year, belting 51 home runs, despite a rash of injuries. Don’t expect the same numbers this year, but Mark will still hit 40+. Prediction: 74-88

Anaheim Angels Manager: Teny Cu&m Hello:

CJimLq&z

(Yankees),

PMark

Gubic~

Goodbye:

Hello:

Boston Red Sax Manager: ]imy W’Ziams

Milwaukee Brewers Manager: Phil Gamer

P Teny M&&and, P Stedin~ (Padres}, OF Mark whiten (%&es)

Keys to Success: With SS Alex Rodriguez, OF’s Ken Griffey and Jay Buhner and DH Edgar Martinez, the M’s have the firepower to overcome their pitching deficiencies, but the acquisition of Fasscro solidifies the staff. The Man: Randy Johnson - Even with all the offensive weapons at their disposal, the Mariners didn’t win last year. Why? Because the Big Unit started only eight .games before a back injury cndcd his season. If Randy’s back is back, then look for the Mariners in the World Series. Prediction: 92-70

Wmdirz

(Astm), PJsrime Navam Q&s) Goodbye : P Alex Femandm (.r/~ns), Tapani (Garbs), OF Danny TatiaW

P fin (Phillies) Keys to Success: Keeping Albert Belle under control. If he remains stable, he’ll team with 1B Frank Thomas and 3B Robin Ventura to form a deadly comb. Fernandez will be dearly missed, but Drabek and Navarro may fili the gap. The Man: FrankThomas - An incredible talent, the Big Hurt will be called on to provide a role model for Bcllc. Togcthcr, they could put up numbers rivaling the best of Gchrig and Ruth. Prediction: 95-67

Goodbye: Hithwk

Smw (Giants),

Chili Dh OF Rex H&h

(Roy&), 1B J. T. (PbiUies)

Keys to Success: Pitching is solid, with the terrifying Troy Percival as the closer. Their key

Curtis

players,

Goodbye:

DiSarcina and Garrett Anderson are under 30 . The Man: Troy Percival - Emerged out of nowhere to bccomc a dangcrom closer for the Angels. He throws hard, he isn’t afraid to come inside, and he wears very amusing horn-rimmed glasses when he pitches. Prediction: 72-90

(DodBers) OF Albert Be&h (White Sax), P Dennis M&-tine2 (Marinm), IFJeffKmt (tints), SSJos6 Vizcaino (Giants)

Keys to Success: Williams will try to fill the offensive void, with Jim Thome shifting to first. OF Manny Ramirez may erupt, and OF Kenny Lofton will put up great numbers with his

Seattle Mariners Manager: Lou Pineiih Hello:

P JflFaswo

(Enpos),

P Scott Sam&

Tim

Saiman,

Jim

Edmonds,

Gary

SPORTS

ZMPRINT,

Sex

we’ve BOt yOU

Now that I have your artention, read about how coaches are saying, ‘lust don ‘t do it *’ to their players.

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Friday, March 14, 1997

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What the hell is the deal with all these sex bans on sports teams? The latest incident involves the Costa Rican national soccer team whose coach, Horatio Cordero, has banned his players from having sex until afier their current round ofWorld Cup qualifying. Needless to sav, some of his players are frust&ed with his de&i&. Sex bans have disturbingly become a popular tactic of coaches all over the world, especially in soccer. Coaches seem to think that banning players from having sex keeps them focused on the task at hand, which is winning soccer games. Thev claim that thev want their players well rested forkames and tha; not having sex will give them an edge. Well, they’re right about the edge part at least. Seriously, what the hell kind of reasoning is this? In moderation, sex shouldn’t have any adverse effects on players in terms of pe&rmance (on the field). Not allowing your players to have sex infringes too much on their per-

sonal lives, A coach has no business banning a normal part of a person’s life, And never mind asking the girlfriends/wives how they feel about it. Apparently they don’t matter. Do these coaches get some sort of thrill out of depriving their

That soccer ball’s not the only thing that this guy’s gonna have to turn away for a while. players? Maybe it’s just a message to players to let them know who’s in charge. This kind of thing has the potential to bactiire right in a coach’s face. Take about 15 men who have sex on a regular basis, deprive them for three weeks and see what happens. Things will

probably get a little bit tense. This kind of thing could start a revolt, which will just do wonders for a team’s morale. Uptight players might also get a bit touchy with their teamyates (don’t even think about it). Players might also develop too much of an edge and become overly aggressive on the field, costing many a foul. All of this for what, maybe a two to three per cent increase in performance (on the field) from the players? A coach has to sit back and consider if it’s really worth it, and the probable answer is no, It has been said that those in authority should stay out of the nation’s bedrooms. A person’s sex life should be nobody else’s business, especially when the oppressor is a coach who seems to be more interested in a senseless power trip than in getting peak performance out of his players. There are other ways of getting the most out of your athletes. Abstinence is for priests, not players.

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In light of last week’s somewhat whimsical look at the sporting world, I’m actually going to offer some serious (and therefore, equally useless) suggestions on how to improve the sports I love.

Number1 The new salary cap formuia: total value of contract divided by number of years of contract equals amount counting against the salary cap. Eliminate all this salarv, cap manipulating. Number

End professional boxing. Once the sport of kings, men (and I use that term loosely) like Mike Tyson, Oliver McCall and Don I&g have turned boxing into a farce worthy of the WWF. Number

Do not allow football or basketball collegiate athletes to leave school before their junior year. Too many immature, unprepared athletes are going to be the death of both college and pro sports. Number

Encourage athletes to have a personality, and preferably a fan-

friendly one. Do not use Albert Belle or Barry Bonds asexamples.

Number

clad contract that only he can terminate, thanks to the genius of the NFL in the 1980s.

5 Number

Bring instant replay back into football, but used with discretion. It won’t adversely affect the game, and it might actually make a good difference.

Number

Keep the NCAA basketball tournament the way it is. Don’t ever change a thing, because MarchMadness is asclose to sporting perfection as a fan can find.

6 Number

Find baseball a commissioner. Oh wait, that was last week. Number

Take the two-line passrule out of the hockey rulebook. Eliminate touch icing to prevent people from getting rammed into the boards. Number

Recognize Ultimate Fighting Championships as a sport. It’s bloody, it hurts just to watch, but those guys are crazy, vicious athletes.

Number

Replace George Young as GM of the New York Giants. The game has passed him by, as free agency has made everyone aware of. The problem? He has an iron-

Bring some tradition back to baseball. Stop giving out theMVP award, and present the best player i.neachleaguewiththeLouGehrig Award, or the Babe Ruth trophy, or some worthy appellation. Number

Get rid of the instigator penalties in the NHL. It’s bogging down the game and hurting the stars by allowing pests like Claude Lemieux to get away easily. Number

Throw more octopi, rats and hats on NHL ice. Xt’s a colofi way for the fans to get involved in the game without hurting anyone. It supports needy industries, and really, what else are you going to do with an octopus?

Face down in broken gflass

The New Jim Rose Circus Sldeshow Fed Hall Friday, March 7 by

James Russell Imprint staff

he virgins enjoyed it, but the veterans knew better. Jim Rose was rushed, and it showed. More than two hours asker the doors opened, with no opening act, the crowd was more than ready for a little bit of excitement when Rose finally appeared on stage. But the show got off to a slow start and never gained speed. Rose did a few of his standard stunts;the human dartboard, going face down in a pile of broken glass with an audience member standing on the back of his head, and, most impressively, swallowing four razor blades and threading string through them before regurgitating them one by one on the thread. Then the crowd got treated to Bebe the Circus Queen. B&e, besides being the Circus Queen, is also Rose’s wife and has never done anything particularly exceptional, and this show was no different, with, of course, one exception. She did it topless. The Circus Sideshow has built a solid reputation asan experience that will freak you out. You will see things that you’ve never seen

before and may ncvcr see again. Tits, in my humble opinion, don’t fit into this category. So Bebe walks on swords and has a melon cut off the back of her neck by some guy with a sword, and she does it topless. I had no idea how low Jim Lad sunk at this point, but I was a little worried. The Mexican transvestite wrestlers were next. Now my fears were justified. Two guys in silly outfits with big strap-on dicks came out and danced around the stage aiternately fighting and ticking each other. The winner was the first one to get his rubber cock into the other’s mouth for the three-count. It w&S amusing, at least to me, but for Jim Rose it was weak. Very weak. The Armenian Rubber Man was next, except now he’s Billy Martinez, the ‘&Barrio Bottom” transvestite wrestler. Dif%erent name, same -act. He squeezes through a tennis racquet, just like hedidlasttimeRosecamethrough in October 1995. A good trick, but they could have come up with something

just a little

different.

Throughout all of this, Rose seemed rushed. He’d hurry the performers, jumping right to the best stunts his people had to offer wi&out any preamble or dramatic build-up. As a consequence, there was an attitude of expectation in the crowd. People were not being blown away by what they were

seeing, and they were waiting for some satisfaction. They weren’t going to get it. The women’s surno wrestling followed. Two massive brutes lumbered onto the stage, their unfortunately-skimpy outfits showing more rolls than a bakery. But the worst was yet to come. They were not just going to sum0 wrestle, they were going to do it topless. Oh God. They did it topless. Now, I went there to seea man eat bugs. I went there to see a man hang irons from his penis. I did not go there to see400 lb. topless women. Let’s just make that absolutely clear. The act didn’t work. The crowd was revolted. But not the good, squeeze-your-boyfriend’shand-tight kind of revolted, but the bad, oh- Jesus-I-feel-the-bilerising-in-my-throat kind of revolted. The biggest disappointments were Mr. Lift0 and The Enigma. The Enigma has jigsaw pieces tattooed all over his body, and he’s slowly getting them f&d in one by one. He’s now also, according to Rose, had pieces ofcoralgrafted into his forehead so that he appears to have a couple of budding horns. TheEnigma is in the &inness Book for sword swallowing, but the practice has evidently been banned because of the deaths of some people trying to break the Enigma’s record. Here was Rose’s chance to really work the crowd, The Enigma is an old favourite, after all. But it didn’t happen. Did The Enigma do the expected little sword, bigger sword, biggest sword routine? No. He just swallowed a big sword and that was that. He also skipped eating the lightbulb-a major disappointment. And finally, instead of the usual insect/worm cocktail he usually gobbles up for the crowd, he just chewed a couple of crickets. Big deal. He did redeem himselfsomewhat by doing one truly revolting trick, in true Circus Sideshow fashion. Filling up a large tube with what looked like blue Gatorade, The Enigma put about 10 feet of surgical tubing down his ry20~~ before

Mmmmmmmgood.

attaching

a plunger

photos

pies, tongue, ears, and of course, his penis. Cool. But Friday night he was in a hurry. A rushed triple lift (ears, nipples and tongue) was all that pre&ded the penis finale. Unfortunately, this was also tushed, but here Lift0 had an excuse. He’s evidently ripped the rings out of the head ofhis penis recently, but, never one to disappoint the aowd, he attached two irons to his dick with duct tape.

by Paul Rencoret

Good, but not a great fmale. But that was it. That was the end. More than a little bit of an anticlimax. Over& the performances were hurried. The crowd never had a chance to get worked up. There was no tension, and the whole performance suffered because of it. And, worst of a.& the ridiculous use of topless women andrubber cocks made the whole things seem like the name saysa sideshow, not the main event.

to one

end of the tube and forcing the liquid down and into his stomach. What was even more revolting was when he sucked it back out. Now that’s more like it. Mr. Lift0 is famed for picking things up attached to his nip-

Erratum The Jim Rose inkrvkw in the March 7 issue did not have a byline. It was dcme by James Russ& And the txmnibtitic Imprint apoloSouth Americans am Cbiletztr, not -. gizes for anyinconvedence this may have callsed.

ARTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, March 14, 1997

Only happy when it. rahs I

‘m singin’ in the rain...” One of the most famous Iines i.n movie history. For those of us who aren’t quite old enough to remember the movie, or are tired of the old flick., there’s an alternative-the musical. It’s playing two shows at Center in the Square on March 15. Im~at recently had the opportu~ nity to speak with star Keith Mahony while he was on tour with the show. with Jerry Mouse [an old project of Universal] was great. So 2s an extremely demanding role. I’m onstage about 90 per cent of 1the time,

by Kerry OBrien sped to Imprint How long have you been acting?

Do you look to Gene Kelly for a lot of inspiration?

10 years, What got you into musicals~

I stole tap more than I actually learned it from the SNdiO. I watched the videos again and again and I stole the moves. I think a lot of tap ends up passing from generation to generation that way. I picked up as much style as I could from him, because he’s a legend, an idol of mine. .

When I was 13, in middle school, it was the big thing. Ifyou wanted to be cool, you had to be in chorus. Do you enjoy playing the character of Don Lockwood? I adore it. It’s probably my favourite role to date. The first show I did was 45 Mintites Frm Bmadway, which is an old sort of tap show, so my frost taste of dance was tap dancing. I was shown Gene Kelly movie after Gene Kelly movie, because he was the first to ever really bring tap to men, you know? It was very athletic, and it was cool. He was the first cool guy to tap. Fred Astaire was always in tails, and in a black and white movie, so to a 13 year old it wasn’t as great. But Gene Kelly dancing

Is “Singin’ in the RaX number in the show?

your favourite

I love cCMosesSupposes.” It’s a duet I do with Cosmo Brown [Scottie Jacobs]. It’s a number I do with the diction coach where Don is learning how to speak properly so that he can do &king pictures. Don and Cosmo start making b of the whole process and it goes into a great tap number. The choreography is number one-you won’t fmd better anywhere. The choreog-

rapher is John Dietrich. He took a lot of Gene Kelly’s work and kept the style and changed the steps. It’s not Gene Kelly’s normal choreography, but someone could look at it and think that it is. Was

it cE&ult

the rain? What

It’s not that bad. The tech did a great job with rigging the stage so it’s not dangerous. They coated the stage with sand and topped that with paint, and sometimes Coca-Cola, because it’s so sticky. Combined with the rubber on my shoes, I’m more likely to slip on the regular mylar than in the rain. Have you ever had any kind of mishaps with the rain? Well, it didn’t work one night. We had got a new pump to generate more water, and the pump broke. I did the entire number dry, and the review next day said “Singin’ in the Rain fxes well for it’s dry run.” But luckily, we haven’t had any other glitches.

your

Out of memar$? .a.Crowded-hard SOLUTION:UPGRADE!!! ’ 133

drtgek

would you say this play is about?

It’s a love story set amongst the dying of the silent film, the coming of the talking pictures. That’s about it. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back and everyone’s happy. Anyadvicetostrug@ngactorsoutthere? If you can be happy doing anything else, then do it. Don’t go into theatre unless I you can’t do anything else. There’s an old saying, “It’s not something I want to do, it’s something I have to do.” I think that’s very accurate. It’s a very tough business. If you find it’s something you need to do, then listen. Train as much as you can. Get rhe voice, get the dance, learn how to be a musician. Don’t narrow vourself.

Would you say that your version is close to the original, or how does it difI?er? Well, the script is based on the movie, and some of the scenes are the same. But some things, such as when he first meets

I I I..

toget used to dancing in

Meredith Patterson [Kathy Selden], in the movie he jumps into a car. In our show, it’s done on a park bench. There are subtle differences, such as the “funny voice girl” has a song added for the play. There are others, but unless you’ve seen the movie several times, you won’t notice.

Sin-in ita theKain plays March 15 at 2 and 8 p.m. Tickets range from $35 to $50. Call the box office at (519)5781570 or toll free at l-800-265-8977.

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Friday, March 14, WV

ARTS

Going down Elevator to Hell vv/ The Super Cake Trm, Winnie and Sanseiru Kwo-m Ca$ Thursday, March 6 by Sean Elder Imprint staff

anseiru played hard, but lost me a.& only a few great songs. Winnie was wonderful. The trio g/avethe crowd a good taste of their different styles-from soft to abrasive-as they constantly switched up their basic guitarbass-drums lineup. The Super Cake Trio exists in a world without volume control. Reminiscent of a bassless slint, the lip-curling, pelvic thrusting attitude of The Super Cake Trio shocked, pleased and scared the crowd in an instant. They were also solely responsible for my first experience with earplugs. Be warned. These openers each wear their musical hearts on their sleeves, but discretely. The band that thev were opening for, however, bear\ its own musical heart openly, for all to see. The recordings of Elevator to Hell are a musical outlet focusing on the songwriting and recording talents of Rick White. The con-

cert performance of Elevator to Hell, on the other hand, is a collective spectacle featuring not one, but three talented musicians. Using a true minimalist’s drum kit, Mark Gaudet brought up the rear with some incredibly frenetic rhythms. Bassist Tara White followed suit with the most distorted, m&led bass sound I’ve heard in quite a while, while lead singer and guitarist Rick White droned through song tier song, stopping only to attempt improvements in the sound. The band played several songs from Part 3 including

“Analysis 13 13” and the exceptional %nk into the Sea.” They also performed a few new songs, supposedly in an effort to depart from the usual “Hell by Rick” to more of a “Hell by Rick, Tara and Mark.” If the new songs were any indication, their forthcoming 7’ single and N length cassette releases should be well worth the wait. They’ve honed their heavy, bassdriven sound into avery solid live experience, and are finalLy attracting more attention to themselves not because of their musical history, but on the musical merit of Elevator to Hell.

In an effort to improve-audience participation, Win& twelve-year-old fan out of the crowd to play bass.

pulled a

by Greg Picken Impxint staff

Guud Weird Feehg and their latest album Nest. Great songs like “Truth Untold,” “Wendy Under the Stars,” “Jackhammer,” and “Make you Mad” livened up the barn, encouraging the thirtysomethings in front ofme to form a kind of bizarre, geriatric mosh pit. Please take heed; you never, ever, 0e~ want to see that. On a much more pleasing

est, cave, ball, Odds. Good.They’re one of the rising young talents on the Canadian music scene,featuring a hard-edged sound, sex appeal and an attitude. What makes the Bloody Chicletts different from all the other bands that fit this description? They have a keyboard& and three of the four members wear snazzy suits. Playing most of the songs off their debut album Prwntiqy Hmdy Chicletts, the Chicletts unfortunately couldn’t get much of a rise out of the sparse crowd at Fed. They warmed up with their firsr single “She’s a Freak,” a very catchy number which is receiving airplay on Muchmusic. Other highlights from the thirty minute set included the rocking “Matchstick” and their second single, “On’ and On.” The night’s feature attraction, the Odds, didn’t disappoint their UMI, I’d prefer the porn fans. They mixed up a number of actresses. photo by Michael Olley hmes from Neupulitart, Beclbwg;r,

(Industrialisation

in Europe)

Dhoto bv Reni Chan

Sex appeal? ’ Fed Hall Saturday, March 8

HISTORY 243 - FALL ‘87

note, the band was having fkn too, with guitarist and lead singer Craig Northey climbing heroically atop a stack of speakers, and the rest of the guys generally goofing around. In typically odd style, there were a few unpredictable touches : the spontaneous version of Roy Orbison’s “Only the Lonely,” complete with warbling ftio, and a special audience participation moment during a cover f!rom theH&d C~eLc~~ tribute album, featuring drummer Pat Steward belting out the faux punk lyrics. Conspicuously absent from the set was “Heterosexual Man.” mer the show, the band told me that they’ve given up playing that song in concert, because too many guys at their shows just don’t get the joke. Truth be told, the Odds are a solid, very enjoyable, band to see and listen to, especially live. Unlike too many other bands these days, the Odds actually underst;md that vocal harmony can be usefid and quite beautiful in song. Someday, I envision other musicians realizing that off-key wailing is best reserved for pretentious new wave artisans and porn actresses.Until then, I’ll settle for the Odds, thanks,

Want to understund where yqu are going to be working? History 243 looks at how the workplace has changed and how the changes have affected society and individuals between 1800 and 1980!

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Friday, March 14, 1997

GRADUATION PHOTOGRAPH by A&id Sealey special to Imprint

‘print packages available ‘we supply gowns & cotours for uw & WLU ‘personalized, professional service WG &iyv&dh~ h hta&.,

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ne of the most impor tant days of the year is next Friday. It has nothing to do with post-St. Patrick’s dayfestivities.Thisisthedaywhen CKMS 100.3 opens its z&waves for its annual fundraiser, and it’s one of the biggest events the station holds. The whole idea behind the event, which has yet to be titled, is to raise money to continue offering its listeners the same quality programming that it has been delivering since 1969. So here’s how our fundraiser is going to work. On Friday, March 21, tune your system to 100.3 FM or 95.5 cable between 8 a.m. and midnight, as CKMS offers’ up 16 hours of dynamic programming divided into onehour segments. Each segment will

be hosted by one of your favourite CAMS personalities, and each will highlight a certti unique aspect of CKMS programming. It will be more of what you’re used te great music, informative discussion and witty banter, only in prepackaged one hour samples. This is a perfect opportunity to hear what CKMS is all about if you’ve never tuned in before. Now the good part. The phone lines will be open throughout the entire event. This is your opportunity to phone in and make a pledge ofwhatever you can spare to help your university radio station through another season. And of course, DJs will be giving out many exciting prizes for those who pledge. Also, be on the lookout for CKMS volunteers roaming around campus and the Waterloo community. These will be the people who’U approach you and

ask you for money, so be nice to them and make a pledge. It’s your radio station, Waterloo, so help keep it in business. This is the first time CKMS has chosen this format as its primary fundraiser for the year. Many of you may have heard ‘of the Spinath, where two DJs take a 24 hour shift to raise money for the sration. This year’s event will be a far more eclectic mix of programming, and more of what you’re used to getting from CAMS every day. So remember on Friday March 21, turn the radio on to CAMS 100.3 and piedge your support. Thanks to all our diligent listeners in Waterloo---your support has manifested itself in yei -mother successful season for CKMS. Pledges, donations, and fbrther inquiries can be made at 886CKMS (886-2567).

Drama says Tuck”! Cloud 9 Arts March 19-22

Thatme

of the

by Joel Greenberg special to Imprint loud 9 is about reiationships-between women and men, men and men, women and women. It is about sex, work, mothers, children, grandmothers, politics, money and sex. It begins in 1880.

?%is

is my fumdy

Though

far

jbm home, weservetheQjuem whrever we may roam. Xam u father ta the natives here, and fathr to my fapniij

so dear. ”

So speaks Clive, the British Imperialist, at the start of Cbd 9, Caryl Churchill’s wild, carnal romp. Clive is posted in Africa where he rules over everyone and everything: his wife says:

Gi8?HiNE

But the marvelous trick is that Betty, his wife, is here played by a male actor, reinforcing the image of a woman doing her best to satisfy a man’s ideals. The crossgender casting is as painful as it is humorous. But there’s more, for Clive also believes that it is his task to convert the Africans to British (read ‘civilized’) customs and behavior: “My boy’s a jtwel. l&h) bus the knack, Yidd burdZy notice that the felluw+k bkk. ” Joshua, the servant, replies: <(My skin k Huck but oh my soul is white. I bate my t&e. My master if my 22&$3t.Ion& live fmhim Rcyou can see, what white m03 wunt is what I want to be.”

The play spins wildly as it explores sexual politics-the

young daughter is a rag doll since the playwright. In Act Two she little girls are not required to offer has taken the huge step of leaving responses to the family; Clive is Clive, her husband, in the hope of discovering a Iife in which she can driven mad for Mrs. Saunders, exist and be a full person: the liberated British woman whose bed he inhabits with great fre9 used to think Clive wa$ the quency; Harry, the Great White one wbo liked sex. Bart then Ifotind Hunter, expresses undying pas- Imissed it...ItboughtfCiive wa&t lookin8 at me, there wasn’t apenon sion for Ciive’s wife, all the while there... D[after revealing to us that arranging sexual assignations with the black male servant and the she has finally experienced sexual satisfaction through masturbafamily3 young son. tion] Act Two is set in present-day “Afierwards I tbou@t I’d be London, Churchill’s coup is that she retains three of the first act traycd Clive. But Ifeh triumphant characters-mother, son and becauseI wasa separatepers0njhm daughter-and she ages them by him. SometimesId0 it three times in 25 years, though the true passage owens&btand it ye&y ispeatficn.” And what has the play’s title, of time is more than a hundred Chd 9, got to do with all this? years. But we are now in a world where pre-determined rolesCaryl Churchill was interviewed sexual, gender, etc. - don’t exist prior to the play’s premiere and and we learn that we have to make said: decisions for ourselves in order to [referring to the woman who be happy. ran the snack bar in the rehearsal studio and who had come into Victoria, the daughter who was a rag doll in the first act, is one of the company’s chat sessions] 5b8 camefrum a largqpoor now in a marriage that has slowly driven her mad. She needs to ex- family, bad maked at sixteen and plore her own needs and begins a bad a my violent and unbam relationship with Lii, a single marrige, with no pleasttre fFom sex atall...anda~erthirtyyearsshehzd mother who is also a lesbian. Martin, Victoria’s husband, does his remarkd. She taid us in quite a bit best to understand and accept her of detail bow she and her new bmband p-&a24 pt. their reiatiunrestlessness, but not without ship tag-ether. problems of his own: Finally she mid, We may not Tutc think I want to j?ak ;Ba&ara. I don’t. WE22I h, ht 1 do it as aften as yowg people, but won’t. And even ifI did, what’s a wben we have attr orpaniims [sic] j&c& between j%zds? Don’t cry we’re on Cloud Nine.“’ uflain, Vicky, Xm notthesort of man This week only in who makeswumen oy..JKy one aim ti to&ve you rullingJ W~UsmSlike Id9 Arts-Online: o&r women. So wby the hell d&t Greg ~eelor soothes, and ye have them?” interviews with The Odds Perhaps the character Betty, and Spirit of the West! who we met in Act One-the woman who thought her life’s http://imprinL duty was to fklfU her husband’s uwaterlm.ca/arts-online fantasy of a wife-best speaks for

Bad seeds *just get better With their latest release, boahpoan? call, the Bad Seeds are deftitely showing their more mature side. The violence has faded, now just hinting at it in the lyrical content. The sense of somberness that hangs over the album is darker t&m any previous one. This is not a party album. This is an album for cwing in the corner of a dark room. Vhe tempo of the whole album is never faster than a funeral march. Vocally, Cave has fmally attained what he seemed to be aiming for on the last few albums. His singing is much more professional now, with the rawness replaced by confidence in being able to hit that elusive perfect note. Lyrically, this is also one of his best albums. His eloquent bluntness on the subjects of love, death and religion put him in a class far ahead of anyone else in the %ltemative-rocP section at the record store. While fiw songwriters these days have poets inside them, Cave is on his way to the same status as someone Like Leonard Cohen. the

by Justin Mathews Imprint shff A decade and a half ago a band called Birthday Party made their mark on the music’wor1d. With screams of “han& up who wants to die” and “if this is heaven I’m bailin’ out,” they had a very explosive sound, quite different from anything else at the time, or since. Nick Cave’s singing and songwriting were beautifully crude. His inability to sing that perfectly on-key note gave the band an appealing, odd sound. Fast fonvard a few years... the party is now over and some of the remaining members have formed Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. They too have that explosive sound. At first, there were a lot of similarities with the old band, mostly due to Cave’s singing and songwriting.

by Patrick Imprint

Was StdF

I first saw Race open for Malhavoc at the now-defunct Volcano. Not only did their own style of hip-hop/metal crossover hold up extremely well next to Malhavoc’s blend, they came this the to blowing the Now,

crunching guitars and the crazyassVOXof Ronee. After that it’s a tumultuous mix of too-straightforward beats and cliched Rastafarian dialog, kept above water only by the occasional redeeming snippet of off-beat guitar work. Jah help me, I wanted to like Race’s album, but I can’t help thinking that Genocide did it first, and did it better. London’s multiracial metal/rap group were tearing up the campus charts a year ago with their indie cassette featuring the incendiary “Face the Pain.” MCA noticed, and MCA released a full-length CD. TOY T’atrr Mind is seven tracks ofheavily fortifiedhip-

Race’s debut CDisouton q

by Chris Edginton Imprint staff

The content of this album has a religious undertone to it, at least more so than previous Bad Seeds albums. However, the listener isn’t hit over the head with dogma, but rather with wonder and awe of Cave’s words. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds seem to be one of the very few bands that are getting bGtter as their career progresses. This is by fz one of the best Bad Seeds albums yet.

by Dave Gonsdves special b Imprint Once again, Keith Murray proves to be a man for all seasons. His album, as usual, is DA BOMB! ! The name of the album, e@gwa, is defined as 1. ;in obscure speech or language 2. an inscrutable or mysterious person. These deftitions also represent Keith Murray’s style and image. As a hip-hop album, en&mu consists of fourteen non-repetitive tracks which have soft beats that hit hard, Keith has a knack for staying away tiom lines that mean nothing followed by words that serve no other purpose than making two strings rhyme. From a musical perspective, ~P@VW has very classichip-hop rhythms, you receive a sofi base beat that relaxes you, followed by some variation’ of a snare that cracks you on the back of your head when you are not

live show, and it doesn’t, It comes close though, and would be perfect, save for the occasional bout of laziness. Thefirstthreetraclcsaredeadon: killer grooves emphasizedwith

utes. Ifs been a while since was released, and MCA has stopped giving them the push, but Genocide are the type of band that won’t go down without a fight. Keep an ear out. Fw l%zwMid

expea

it.

Intricatx

back-

ground sounds and samples contribute to the unique nature of each song. Murray increases the diversity of his sound by featuring such heavy-weights as 50 Grand, Kel Vicious, Redman, Busta Rhymes & Eric Sermon.

It’s so very easy to hear the hits; they hit you in the face tier the first run through, and then they continue to hit you over the radio and through the TV. From the ccBirdman’y through to “Car Crash,” these kids pump out songs that are consistently solid and damn fun to sing along to. Those Our Lady Peace boys will surely be superstars someday. In the two and halfyear stop over since N&~eed,Our Lady Peace have really put some effort into Clumsy and it’s quickly apparent after hearing their already huge single “Superman’s Dead.” The song pulses with an energy that stands out from their previous work, settingC&~ into its whirlwind of hit pop songs. The music from this album is incredible. The instrumental performances are stronger than those cn Nccg~~~, More specifically, Jeremy Taggartis a standout, pos-

sibly one of the best drummers in current history. Backed by newcomer Duncan Coutts the two push Our Lady Peace in directions that are original and refreshing. Cuutts plays, with a sense of melody that may be easily overlooked and it’s worth listening for his influence specifically. __ As always the focus is on lead vocalist Raine Maida with his distinctive howling style as he soars over the proceedings with a precision of voice and an intensity that is unmatched by popular music today. C&msy leads off with “Superman’s Dead” and the remainder of the album is equally super. The strength of these songs lies in their catchy melodies, inviting even the amateur screacher to hum or sing along. It’s next to impossible to listen to cL4am” (possibly the best song on the album) and not try a crack at Raine Maida’s VoC&.

Our Lady Peace have followed one success with, most likely, an even bigger success. Chmy pushes their scope, and probably their audience as we& into realms thought unimaginable onIy two and a halfyears ago.

The variation in musical for time tracks to listen to when sounds and voices is like a barrage you are just chilW with some of of bullets that knocks you down your boys, or a CD to pump in and leaves you yearning for an- your ride on the way to a jam, or other hit. Though everyone has even something to put on when d.ifEerent preferences, ens* is he or she drops by late at night, guaranteed to have at least ten tn&m definitely sets the tone. songs that you rewind so much - The only quetion that remains is the CD bleeds. If you’re looking -what’s next?

Philosophy Theology Literature Fantasy sci-Fi & more

.-_____yl__m_-

http:lleillS2hear*on~ 37 King St North,Waterlool 884-4232

ON-GOING ( MONDAYS

UW Stage Band rehearsal at 7:009:00 p.m. in Conrad Grebel College Great Hall room 156. Every Monday 8nd Wednesday Chapel Choir rehearsal 3:30-500 pm in Conrad Grebel College Chapel. Outers Club regular meetings are at 7 p.m. in ES room1 -221_ Come out for social events and updates.

TUESDAYS Beginning Jan. 7 to March 18 the Christopher leadership course will begin. This course covers elective communication skills and self-confidence. To register & info call Joanne at 744-6307. University Choir rehearsal, 7X0930 p.m. in Conrad Grebel College Chapel. Any questions call Eleanor at 8850220 ext. 226. Every Tuesday and Thursday 3:305:00 p.m. Chamber Choir rehearsal. Tuesdays, CGC Rm 151 and Thursdays, CGC Chapel.

FRIDAY English Conversation Class in Needles Hall 2080. Sept. to June from 2:OO to 4:00 p.m. Students, faculty, staff and spouses welcome. For info call lnternational Student Off ice at ext. 2814 Friday, March 7,9 p.m. Playing at the Grad House, “Pandemonium.” Nocover charge.

Board members are being recruited for a non-profit agency striving to meet the needs of youth. For further info contact Debbie at the CYO 744-7001. Photography contest - prizes are from $100. to $300. Photographs can be taken from Nov. I996 to June 1997. Entries must be submitted by July 4, 1997. Call 742-7752 or any of the four Heers Camera locations for info. TOEFL Preoaration Course -the test of English ai Foreign Language course begins April 8, 1997. Classes are held every Tuesday and Wednesday from 2-4:30 p.m. for 10 weeks. The course is $50. and the excersise book is $31. Registration for the course is done throu h the International Student Office. P or more info call ISO, ext. 2814. Food Bank of Waterloo Region needs help - if interested in organizing a food drive between March 26 and April 7 call John Dietrich at 743-5576. Are you interested in a fast-paced, dynamic work environment that will constantly challenge and intrigue you? A career as a Career Development Practitioner may be for you! For info calf the Information Centre at Conestoga Colle 8, 299 Doon Valley Drive, Kitchener, R 2G 4M4 (519) 74% 5220, ext. 516. St.Paul’s United College has rooms available for Winter ‘97 and Spring ‘97 terms. Please call 885-1460 or drop by for application forms and a tour! Guided Self-Change of alcohol use: for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counselling Services (ext. 2655) to find out more. Now available “What in the World is Going On: A Guide for Canadians Wishing to Work, Volunteer, or Study in Other Countries.” For info/cost call Christine at (613) 237-4820. Attention Bluevale Alumnil BCl’s 25th Reunion is May 30 - June l/97. The Reunion committee is presently compiling a mailing list. It is important that they receive your address now. Please write the school c/o 25th Reunion, 80 Bluevale St. N. Waterloo, N2J 3R5, call the Hotline at 650-0569 or email at http:/www.sentex.net/ -dabrykys/bci.reunion. Canadian Federation of University Women Used Book Sale will be in April this year. To donate books please call

747-5854 or 746-5649 or 886-7427 until Saturdav. Mar. 29. 1997. wem you a cadet or staff at Vernon Army Cadet Camp? I am doing research for a book and would appreciate photographs, stories, etc. Please contact me: F. Arseneault, 43 Chancellor Way, Calga AB, T2K 1Y3, phone (402)282-61OO;emai r : Francis @avscanada.com. St.Louis Adult Learning Centres offer English as a second language classes for adults in Kitchener-Waterloo and Cambridae. Levels I-VII available. includino TC#iEL pre aration. Call 745-i201 -(Wa’terloo) or 6 s O-1250 (Cambridge) or come in to re ister. St. Louis Adult Learning Centre, 7 5 Allen St. East, Waterloo. International Income Tax Worksho - if you received Canadian funds in the P996 calendar year, you are required to file an income tax return by April 30, 1997. The workshop will be held in March and will be announced. Contact International Student Office, NH 2080 for forms and info. St. Paul’s United College would like to invite all former residents whoare graduating a the Spring or Fall 1997 Convocation to a Graduates Ban uet. Come and join your friends for fun, 8 ood and alas, farewells! Please call Darlene at 885-1460 to resenre a seat. Recycle old telephone books with blue box when ou receive your new book. Bag or bundle tYlem if Fore than one, otherwise t&e! can be put In your newspaper blue Do you want some experience that will look awesome on your resume? We are currently acceptin applications for the Student Career A 8 visor Prograam 19971998. SCA’s are volunteers who help students with resumes, cover letters, interview skills, career planning and job search. Commitment for volunteers is two terms, 3 hours per week. We are also hirin a Supervisor to co-ordiante the SCA B rogram. Extensive trainin is provided so ick up an application to Elay at the Career R esource Centre, NH1 115 or call ext. 4047. The SAA has than ed their name! - Student Ambassador w ssociation, this will eliminate confusion about who we are and who can become a member of our association. For info call 888-4626 or our office is in SLC room 2122.

WLUNT~ERS

office for Persons with Disabilities are needing volunteers to work in many areas such as library research, reading text to tape, computer work, etc. If interested please call 885-t211, ext. 5082 Jane Farlev. Big Sisters needs you! Inquire about our short term match program. Get trained now to begin in September 97. Training date on Saturday, March 22/97. Call now to register 743-5206. Learn about a different culture while you show a new immigrant how to be part of your community. For more info call KW YMCA Host Progiam at 579-9622. Waterloo Minor Soccer needs reliable coaches and assistant coaches. Do you have the time and talent to share from May to July? Please call 578-9680. The Clty of Waterloo Volunteer Services, 888-6488, is currently recruiting for the following positions: Older Adult Advisory Steering Committee : volunteers needed to establish a format, meeting schedules appropriate to completing a report for City Council. Jumpstart: registration at the Modern Dance Festival for Youth. Must be orclanized and have good communication <kills Llghtlng Workshop: needed to assist with lighting workshop at the Modern Dance Festrval for Youth. Assistant Preschool f nstructors: assist with implementing preschool playgroup. Experience with young children is an asset but not required. Library: assist in the Local History Department. Completing vertical files, updating community bulletin boards, basic typing skills and be familiar with library cataloging. TheSexual AbuseTreatment Programme of Community Justice initiatives is holding its training workshop for volunteer group facilitators of roups for sexual abuse survivors and o Renders. Training for group facilitators will be held on Tuesdays 4-6 0-m. from Januarv 28 to ADriI 15. 1997. For info call 744-4095. ’ -’ In Home Support Volunteers to provide support to families of newborn children. Duties include providing emotionaf support, linking families with community re-

sources and providing practical help. Call Cathy at CradleLink 749-0226. For the followin volunteer positions contact Sue at tf e Volunteer Action Centre at 742-8610: Unitarian Service Committee - #I 85 391 Canadian Red Cross telephoners needed to call previous donors as a reminder. #074-777. Researcher working with police senrices to promote safe neighbourhoods. #050-l 866. Dietary Aide to help seniors home in preparing meals, etc. #O&5- 1866. Driver with valid license to assist boy in atending medical appointments in Waterloo. #073-l 861, Volunteer Action Centre - is recruiting Board Members skilled in marketing, technology, fundraising, board development, etc. Call Reva Cooper 74% 8610. #102-619.

1 SCHOLARSHIM 1 Applications for the following scholarships are being accepted during the Winter term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Application forms are available in the Student Awards Office, 2nd Floor, Needles Hall.

ALL FACULTIES: Doreen Brisbin Award-availabletothird year Regular or 38 Co-op female students in an Honours program in which women are currently under represented. Deadline: April 30/97. DouglasT. Wright Award -available to all who have participated in a UW international work placement, Students to apply upon return to full-time study at UW, Deadline: Ott 1997.

Facultv of _Applied Health Sciences: Mich88f Gellner Memorial Scholarship available to 36 Kinesiology or Health Studies. Deadline: Mar. 31197 Robert Haworth Scholarship-completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Mana ement, Recreation, Natural Heritage or 8 utdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 31/97

Facultv of Enaineerina: Andersen Consulting Scholarshipavailable to 38. Deadline: Mar. 31197 Canadian Hospital Engineering Society’s Scholarship-available to 3B. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 Consulting Engineers of Ontario Scholarship-available to all 38. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 John Deere Limited Scholarshipavailable to 3B Mechanical. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 S.C. Johnson & Son Ltd. - Environmental Scholarship-available to 3rd year Chemical. Deadline: May 31/97 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarshlp-available to 38 Civil,Water Resource Management students. Deadline: May 31/ 97. Canadian Posture and Seating Centre Scholarship-availabte to all. Deadline; Oct. 14/97. Canadian Society for Civil Engineering Award-available to all Civil and Mechanical students with an interest in Building Science. Students to contact Dr. Eric Burnett. Keith Carr Memorial Award-available to 3rd or 4th year Chemical. Deadfine: Mar 31/97. Ontario Hydro Engineering Awardsavailable to 1B Chemical, Electrical, Environmental or Mechanical. Eligible candidates will be women, aboriginal (native) Canadians, persons with disabili$7 visible minorities. Deadline: July . Jack Wiseman Award-available to 3rd year Civil. Deadline: Ott 31/97.

Facultv of Environmental Studies: Robert Haworth Scholarship-completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Mana ement, Recreation, Natural Heritage or 8 utdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 31197. Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship-avail-

able to 3rd year Environment & Resource Studies, Planning, Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: May 31197

Facultv of Mathematics: Andersen Consulting Scholarshipavailable to 3B Math. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 Electrohome75th AnniversaryScholarship-available to 38 Computer Science. Deadline: Mar. 31/97 K.C. Lee Computer ScienceScholarship-available to 2nd year regular Computer Science. Deadline: Ott 31/97. Sun Life of Canada Award-available to 2nd year Actuarial Science. Deadfine: Nov 30/97.

Facultv of Science: SC. Johnson & Son Ltd. Environmental Scholarship-available to 3rdyear Chemistry. Deadline: May 31/97 Marcel Pequegnat &hofarship-available to 3B Earth Science/Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: May 31/97 Dow Canada Scholarship-available to 3A Chemistry. Deadline: Mar 31/97 Science Society Bursary-available to all.

FRIDAY, MAR. 14,1997 Building Peace Conference - “The Peace Accord in Guatemala’ with speaker Frank LaRue, Human Rights Advocate and Union Adviser. 7 p.m. at St. Peters Lutheran Church, 49 Queen St., S., Kitchener. Call 746-4090 for info.

SATURDAY,

Seven Maples Housing Co-op, 368 Bearinger Road, Waterloo. Safe, secure and friendly. 2 bedroom: $618. / 3 bedroom $712, available May 1 and June 1. Call 747-4545. Primo student house -for 6,247 Hazel Street, 2nd corner off University. Free laundry, parking, etc. May-May at $320 incl. $295 incl. summer. Call James at 241-2985 or Mark at 574-2064. Summer subletters w&nted -256 Phillip Street - just across the street. Washer/ dryer, fridge, stove, free parking. $175$250/big bright clean rooms. Charles 746-5761. This is a list of 256 Phillip St. residents looking for subletters this summer .. . Jane 725-7621, Kelly 725-762 1, Margo 725-8583, Daniela 884-7981, Greg 725-6732, Carrie 8855837, Aaron 746-7474, Carrie 884-3199, Rob 7256403, Sally 7257624, Jeff 746-2263, Kelly 725-5766, Alison 893-3705, Dave 725-9487, Akwasi McLaren 885- 1280, Christine 725-1329, Lily 884-5313, Darren 885-1604, josh 884-0211, Jeff 886-4512. Houses & apartments - 3 to IO bedroom units, various locations, 10 to 25 minute walk. Renting now for Sept. 97, 12 month lease. Also available 5 bedroom house for May 97-Aug. 97. Phone 574-4728.

MAR. 15,1997

Scuba-Thon 1997 -4th annual - members of the Waterloo Regional Police Scuba Team will be spending 24 hours under water at the Laurier pool. Come out and try scuba in the pool at 4 p.m. and March 16. For info call 742-0637.

SUNDAY, MAR. 16,1997

Math tutor: basics for GMAT Exam. Require help now thru March 15/97. Email: gadabout@ionline.net. Ask for Stu 886-4025. i8y42ylp in Math/Stat/Physics. Call .

J.S. Bach’s Mass in 6 Minor at Church of Our Lady - Guelph at 3 p.m. For more info call 846-0331.

TUESDAY,

MAR. t&l997

Europe on a Budget Travel Talk will take place in the Student Life Centre, Multi-purpose Room, UW at 1 p.m. Admission is free. For more info call (416) 979-2506, ext. 304. Art Alive lecture Series - “Dave Sim” at 10 a.m. 101 Queen Street. r N.. , Kitchener. The Bede Lecture Series at Renison College, UW. Professor Dr. Michael Bird will speak on “Laughter and After: Humour on the Spiritual Journey.’ For details call 8844404, voice maif ext. 628.

WEDNEStI#I?

MAR. 19,

Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo coming-outdiscussion group. Topic: “Issues Surrounding Age & Age DifferencesH at 7:30 p.m. Social follows at 9 p.m., HH 378. Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Details: 884-4569.

THURSDAY,

MAR. 20,1997

New Cinema from China - films at 7:OO p.m. in Uw’s East Campus Hall Auditorium 1219. Foreign-language films with English subtitles. ‘Country Teachers (5 awards)” - 93 min. Dear Waterloo - come to Laurier’s Fringe Festival! Tickets are @/show or $6 for the eveninqI on Mar. 21 also. If starts at 8 so don t be late! Love your friends at Laurier. For info call 8840710, ext. 4882. Coffee House - funky, groovy, nifty folksy music and other performances at 7 p.m. in the Great hall of the Student Life Centre, FREE!

FRIDAY, MAR. 21,1997 Bike ‘N’ Roll 97: The Guelph Bike Show Mar. 21-23 from IO a.m. to8 p.m. For daily times and info call 8244120, ext. 2894.

SATURDAY,

MAR. 22,1997

Conrad Grebel College term concerts - Chapel Choir at 8 p.m. at Benton Street Baptist Church, Kitchener. Sunday, Mar. 23 Chamber Choir presents “Works of Byrd, Tallis, Gibbons, Raminsh, Britten and Bach” at 8 p.m, at St. John’s Luteran Church on Willow Street in Waterloo.

LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE PREP Spring/Summer classes are now forming. Course formats range from 20 to 80 hours. 20 hour weekends are available for $195. Richardson - since 1979 wwvu.prep.com or prep@istar,ca or l-800-41 O-PREP.

Pregnant? Considering adoptive parents? Happily married professional couple seeking birthmother considering adoptive parents for her bab . Warm and loving home environment. ;: ob or Linda I-800-254-8452 in our home. Leaal. ” Confidential. “Adoption? Pregnant? warm loving, infertile cople anxious to adopt and pr& vide a home for your child. Legal and confidential. Call Mike/Donna collect i416) 261-9134. Are you beautiful? Happy and content with your life? Certain of your future? Financially secure? We have little or nothing in common. Perhaps you have a friend who is more human. Please point out this ad to her. I’m a 26 year old raduate student in Arts, interested in Bilm, books, cooking, and music and if you share some or all of these interests, thars a good start. Write to me .. . James, c/o Box 40014,75 King Street, S., Waterloo, Ontario, N2J 4Vl.

Computer monitor problems? Call Dave - a video sDecialist - at 7450808. (VGA/S&A onli Dlease)

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