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by November IO.
UW co-op students affected by strike by Wendy Vnoucek special to Imprint
n
iscussions have come and gone, and now the elementary and secondary school teachers of ( 3nI tario are on strike. The strike began on Monday, October 27, as a result of the failure of the Ontario Teachers’ Union and Education Minister Dave Johnson to come to any agreement on some key terms of Bill 160. Teachers oppose Bill 160 as a “threat to the quality of public education in Ontario.” The issues they oppose are by now well known: if Bill 160 goes through its final reading in the legislature, the government would have the power to determine the length of the school year, cut h igh school class preparation time, set limits on class sizes, set education property tax rates and allow non-ceitified tea chers in schools. Teachers also oppose further cuts to education $667 million worth, according to the Tory plan. Anot ih,, clause of Bill 160 that teachers are desperate to avoid is the drastic slashes to collective bargaining rights. Essentia Jly, Bill 160 would give the government the power to dec :ide and implement almost anything they deem to be in the best interests of education. The strike hurts more than just the students, their It also affects 85 UW co-op parents and the teachers. students, who are presently on work terms with various boards of education. In early 1996, the co-op department issued general “strike guidelines” for co-op students whose jobs or personal safety might be threatkned by labour disputes. The present strike, however, is more of a protest; the legality of the actions and the complexity of the issues creates individual situations for each student. According to Bruce Lumsden, Director of Co-operative Education at UW, co-op advisors have “instructed students to discuss their particular situation with their coordinator and their supervisor. . + and to talk with the appropriate people on a regular basis as the situation unfolds.” The guidelines advise the co-op student to “discuss with the employer what the expectations are with respect some co-op to crossing a picket line.” Consequently, students have joined the picket lines. Not all the affected students are in the teaching option, with many positions being held by students with various boards of education in non-teaching roles. One student working as a computer consultant has continued to work. With the support of the school board and co-op advisors, the student enters the building with the secretaries. Concern for the co-op students is evident, not only for their personal safety, but also for reaching their co-op requirement of eight weeks in their work term positions. Cathie Jenkins, co-op advisor for teaching,option students, does not feel that students will have a problem meeting the requirements. At this time she does not foresee any students losing their co-op credit to the strike. Co-op students on campus are also affected by the strike. Interviews with various boards of education were scheduled for this week, but were not held because of the strike. Instead, resumks (received before the strike began)
High school teachers picketing in front of Waterloo Collegiate Instutute. Teachers have four shifts in place to ensure a presence at least 12 hours a day. photo
were used as the sole basis for student selection. Rankings have been forwarded to the co-op department. Teaching option co-op interviews were scheduled to start Monday, November 3. The uncertainty of the strike end date has interview candidates ready for anything. “Should the strike end Monday, interviews would probably be ready to go by Wednesday,” says Jenkins. And what about the OAC high school students whoare preparing to attend university in Fall 1998? In face of their inability to get information on university admission from high schools, LJW is helping students get the information directly. Tours are available at lo:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. on
by Rob Van Kruistum
Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. As well, staff and academic advisors are on hand to discuss opportunities at UW. The only dilemma faced is with the pre-scheduled tours that have already been booked. Many of the questions yet unanswered pertain to the potential ramifications of an extended strike to OAC students. The university application deadline is in early November. Will it be extended for Ontario students? What happens to application acceptances if school extends into the summer months? If 80 per cent of UW’s students come from Ontario, what would happen if these students just weren’t prepared?
Vl to seemore improvements 1L.
by Jarrett Flindall special to Imprint
I
n February of this year, the University of- Waterloo Board of Governors approved the design for phase one of the remodeling of Village One. With a budget of $1,21 1,000, school officials set out to “improve the quality and services of the Village One community for the changing student lifestyle,” and over the next couple of weeks, students in Vl will begin to realize the rewards of the construction inconvenience. The newly renovated area will feature a pool table and TV lounge, an Internet cafe, a gaming area, a graphics centre, study ‘rooms and a laundry facility. In addition, there will be administration offices and a new 24-hour information desk. These new additions to Vl were completed under the affixed budget and should better meet the needs and
wants years.
of theresidents
as they
get younger
in the coming
This past Tuesday, Vl renovations were again a topic of discussion for the UW Board of Governors as they passed an amendment to allocate funds towards phase two of the transformation. The spring of 1998 will witness the construction of a new dining hall to accommodate 240 patrons. Other innovations will include a revamped server-y and kitchen to provide late night service, a campus bakery and a new lobby (complete with an elevator). While the new surroundings will surely be of the greatest intrigue to most, some may find themselves more appreciative of the more flexible server-y hours and new menu. Food services promises to strive to better meet the nutritional needs of a changing student body. The second phase of the renovation plan is expected to cost $3,8X,007 and should be finished sometime next year.
NEWS
4
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
31, 1997
Students ratify new VP Student Issues by l&t&e Imprint
Gillis staff
T
he Federation of Stcu dents held their Annual General Meeting rhis Wednesday, October 29. The most prominent items on the agenda were many proposed changes to the Feds bylaws - largely the result of the addition of a fourth vice-president position to the Feds executive. The part-time position ofStudent Issues Resource Centre (SIRC) Coordinator was converted this summer to the fulltime position of Vice-President Student Issues (VPSI), in order to better reflect the time commitment of the Coordinator and the importance of the portfolio to Federation of Students+ “Over the last year we’ve seen
that position balloon up from part time to full time hours,” explained President bLlario Bellabarba. The rationale for an executive position versus a hired fulltime employee, expIained VP Education Jeff Gardner, hinged on the importance of student representation. The Feds felt it was imperative that “No students have the opportunity to elect the person who would represent them in the hodge-podge of issues covered by the portfolio. Heather Calder, thecurrentVPS1, emphasized the importance of having an elected official “so this position can go for- ward and speak on behalf of the students of UW.” Though the addition of the position had already been approved by Student’s Council and
has been in effect for several months (Calder, the former SIRC Coordinator. was appointed TC’PSI), it had nQt yer been accepted b>T tt:c: Feds membership. Most of the changes to the bylaws reflected the change in title of the Student Issues portfolio. one
ever
envisioned
under the Vice-President Internal portfolio to the VPSI allows the VP1 to take on more promotion of student clubs mci services. The shii’t will also allow the VicePresident Administration and Finance to focus on corporate promotion and the President to take on more duties involving ~;e~cA by-lawsandpoli-
become the portfolio that it did.” In any case, the VPSL is an exofficio member of council until the next election, when the SW dents will designate a representative. In the end, all the proposed amendments were passed, with objections noted only in the case of by-law one, the by-law which introduces the position of VPSI and outlines the duties. The passed by-law changes will take effect immediately (the only logical option, since the VPSI already exists). Other items on the agenda for the AGM included the yearly business of passing the auditor’s report (the Feds took a $90,000 loss last year for the closing of the Campus Shop) and reports from the executives on their various activities and achievements since their acclamations.
- ‘Orne that the VPSI would present at the studenrs meeting become the portfolio that ~~~r~r~~~o~~~~r~~~~! diate appointment of a it did.” VPSI, rather than followThe creation of the new VP allowed for the shuffling of severa1 duties between the other executives, and many of the by-law amendments reflected these changes. The reassignment of many Feds services previously
ing standard procedure and waiting until the AGM to pass the position by the membership and have the student body elect a VPSI in the next election. Gardner explained the need for the immediate appointment: “No one ever envisioned that the VPSI would
NEWS IN BRIEF compiled
by Bernhard Wall Pate4
and Tasmina
Stock market crashes, bounces back Stock markets around the world were shaken up this week when the Hong Kong exchange plummeted. The crash caused ripple effects inothercountries’ stock markets. On Monday, the Dow Jones Industrial Average suffered the worst one-day drop in its his-
tory, falling554.26 points, and the Toronto Stock Exchange took a similar fall. However, the next day, the Dow recorded its biggest one-day rise ever, gaining 337 points to close at 7506.67. Other stock markets recorded similarly rapid recoveries.
Increase in ccmp interviews Co-op interviews are on the rise this fall. Olaf Naese of the
Coep department says that the number of students applying for co-op jobs and the number of employers giving interviews have increased since this time last year. This year, 3135 students (up 8 per cent from last year) are competing for 2760 jobs (up 29 per cent from Igst year). While the increases are a good sign, Naese says that there are some problems. One is that the increase in job openings is primarily made up of openings in the
high-tech sector, and that the increase in applications is coming from first-year students going into their first work term. What this means is that the increase in jobs will mostly benefit students with computer-related skills. An additional problem is that there are not enough rooms in Needles Hall to accommodate the influx of employers, with some interviews held at Federation Hall.
$10,000 research grant to software developers UW won a research grant of $10,000 for its participation in a joint venture with seven software development corporations, from the 1947 University-Industry Synergy Research and I3evelopment Partnerships Award Program. The Conference Board of Canada and the Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council present the award to recognize such accomplishments as “excellence in university research, superior management, innovation, creativity and entrepreneurship,* according to Ron Duhamel, Secretary of State (Science, Research and DeveIopment). UW joined with companies such as Fulcrum Technologies Inc., Open Text Corp. and others to form the Canadian Strategic Software Consortium. The award relates to their Text/Relational Database Management Systems Project, and was presented in a ceremony in Richmond, B.C., October 23-24.
Hiring
new pcofs
(UARC), announced that thecommittee has reviewed 59 proposals over the period from November 1996 to October 1997. Of these proposals, 54 (10 femaie and 44 male) were probationary, three were tenured and five for definite-term periods. The number of reviews conducted by the UARC has increased for four of the last five years, with 1994-95 being the exception. The committee has been especially busy for the last two years, with 42 proposals reviewed in 1995-96. The committee attributes this recent increase to the Special Early Retirement Program, a 1995 budget-cutting plan in which 340 faculty and staff members opted to quit the university. The majority of proposals this year (22) were for positions in engineering.
Court dates set for McGill lawsuit A preliminary hearing was held for the McGill lawsuit, at which court dates for the pending trial were set. On December 2 and 3, Paul Rue1 and the Student Society of McGill University (SSMU) will plead their case against the differential tuition fees in effect at Quebec universities. In September, Quebec Minister of Education Pauline Marois implemented a tuition freeze for Quebec residents and an 80 per cent increase for out-of-province students. The differential fees have been met with resentment from all students. The policy discriminate against out of province students
The number of applications reviewed for appointment to the UW faculty continues to increase. In a report submitted to the University Senate by Steve Brown, chair of the University Appointments Review Committee
amd
violates
the Cana-
dian and Quebec charter of rights - specifically the right to free mobility across Canada. The SSMU is suingMcGil1 University and the Quebec government. They have demanded that the differential tuition fee be revoked.
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
NEWS
31, 1997
5
Canada ignores human rights issues Federal Department encourages investment in Colombia by Owen Imprint
Gregory staff
T
he federal government is encouraging Canadian firms to invest in Colombia, a country rights groups say is rampant with human rights abuse, AGuide for Canadian Exporters and Investors issued by the Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs in July describes Colombia as one of Canada’s most dynamic partners in the South American region. The Department claims that “major export opportunities exist in sectors such as environment, telecommunications, oil, gas, thermal and hydroelectricity, transportation, mining, agriculture and food.” Canada already trades extensively with Colombia. In 1996, Canadian exports to Colombia reached $513 million, an increase of over 30% from 1995. Canadian direct foreign .investment in Co-
lombia was over$3 billion in 1995. At a September international Education Trade Fair in Bogota, Colombia, Canada was featured as the special guest country. The enthusiasm of the government for increased trade with Colombia is curious considering Colombia’s atrocious record on human rights. In January, the Colombia Support Network released a report on human rights abuses in the country. The report claimed that Colombia has the worst human rights record in the hemisphere. An indicator of this is the estimate that five to ten political killings are carried out each day, mostly by the state security forces or their paramilitary associates. The report states that torture and “disappearances” are commonplace, along with threats, beatings, arbitrary detention and other violations of fundamental human rights.
The Guide for Canadian Exporters and Investors calls Colombia’s economy “one of the most stable and dynamic in Latin America.” Human rights activists point out that a robust economy is no indication of how a government treats its citizens. Noam Chomsky, in his introduction to the Colombia Support Networkreport, commented that “a fine way to maintain a favourable investment climate is to create a society with formal democracy, but equipped with devices to ensure that it doesn’t function to impede what really matters: enriching the wealthy.” The investment guide brought out by Foreign Affairs downplays the human rights situation in Colombia, The guide states that “as president [Ernesto] Samper enters the last year of his mandate, it appears he has survived the controversies that dogged him during his first two
years in office.” The guide does not state what the “controversies” which plagued president Samper were. A U.S. Department of State Report on Human Rights Practices for Colombia in 1996 estimated a total of 26,764 murders and 3500 “disappearances” in 1996. In contrast to the Foreign Affairs Guide, the State Department report concluded that “the
We caynyrL;
for UW
\
Samper Administration has not taken action to curb increased abuses committed by paramilitary groups, verging on a policy of tacit acquiescence.” The Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade boasts that “Canada has become a leading foreign investor” in a country that Eduaro Galeano called a democratatership.
744-5553,
Student debt discussed UW sends four delegates to national conference by Ali Smith Imprint staff
M
embers of the Univer sity of Waterloo Fed: eration of Students spent four days in Halifax last week at a national conference of the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA). Hosted by Dalhousie University from October 17-22, the conference focused on “increasing the profile of student issues” says Jeff Gardner, Feds VP Education.Two issues dominated the discussion: accessibility to education and student debt. Thirty delegates from thirteen universities nation-wide attended the conference. While most institutions sent one or two delegates, UW sent four (Gardner, President Mario Bellabarba, who has recently been elected president of the CASA Budget committee, Feds’ Executive Researcher Avvey Peters and National Affairs Commissioner Robin Stewart all attended).
Stewart was included, according to Gardner, as “the voice of objective reasoning” for the group. Withregard to student debt, delegates worked on an Income Contingency System (ICS). Under the present student loan system, the rate of payback is determined by the size of the debt, not by how much an individual can afford to pay. Under an ICS, graduates would pay off loans depending on the size of their salaries. Representatives from Human Resources and Development Canada were present to consult the delegates about the proposed ICS. As Gardner stated, “the government listens to us (CASA) because our policies are a little more realistic” than the zero tuition policy mandated by the Canadian Federation of Students. “The government takes CASA seriously because it works with them,” Gardner continued. “This conference represents that.” CASA is attempting to come up with policies that are realistic
and workable and to “work with the government instead of dictating policy,” as Gardner said, The conference did result’ in a proposal that should be acceptable to both the universities and the federal government. However, copies of the conference report and proposal will not be available until next week.
Offer excludes
new rdeases.
Exp. Nov. 30197. Not valid With any other
oh.
A comparisonofthoughtbetweenlslamandchristianity
UW Historian Ken McLaughlin (pictured, above) launched his book Wu~r~oo, 7he UnconveMionu~Founding cfun Unconwntional Urriwsity this Tuesday at the Dana Porter Library. photo
by Niefs Jensen
NEWS a .I? .
6
IMPRINT,
Friday, October 31, 1997
Election fever: mayoral candidates speak by Tasmina Imprint
Pate1 staff
You dun 7 have any councd mperiewe; do you feel you cm handle the positkvz of mayor? Yes, I do. The thing I’ve found out about politics. . is that the people who are the politicians actually don’t do everything. It’s al1 the people, all the support staff in behind the politicians who actually figure out how to do it.
Municipal elections for the city of Waterloo will be held on November 11. To help keep students abreast of local politics, Imprint recently asked each of the three candidates for mayor about their background, the issues facing the city, the university and their opponents. Students will have the opportunity to hear the candidates for mayor and for Ward 4 speak first-hand at 1:30 p.m. on Thursday, November 6 at a forum in the Great Hall of the Student Life Centre. some of the professors at the university (of Waterloo) on. . . towards high-speed communication at low cost. This is to encourage our graduates to stay here, encourage the companies that are here to stay, and more to come. And by doing that, it will also encourage all the support people who help these companies exist. So it’s really a job creation project. We hope if all goes well, we’ll have a fully wired telecommunications region by the end of the year ‘99. It’s very ambitious. . ,it wiI1 put the University of Waterloo and the city on the map. I also feel that a safe, livable community is important. Safe deals with the issue of lighting. I was responsible for getting that path through Waterloo park and that sort: of thing.
Joan ll&Kinmn- has lived and volunteered in the community for 30 years. She has been a councillor for the city for nine years and for the region of Waterloo for six years. She sits on approximatley 25 local committees.
Huwdoyuuvim fhecommunify and the univedy? On occasion, the councillors of the City of Waterloo and the students union have tried to meet once a year. I would like to have us meet twice a year and dialogue joint issues, joint concerns. Sometimes things are going along swimmingly and others times not. . . I think there should be an open dialogue. .
What is the futm of your cczmpaign? One is always the tax dollar, and we’ve been going through downloading for the last several years and the city’s been able to keep its tax well below the inflation [level], and last year there was zero per cent increase. Part of I the reason is that we’ve restructured the whole city, and through that reconstruction we’ve been able to save $3 million over the last couple of years. The second issue is economic development in order to create jobs. . .this is the issue that I’ve been working really closely with
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Back to spe&d ipltemst gruzrps, wht didyou mean by that? A special interest group is a group of people who are not open to ideas from other people; they have a single focus and a single goal, and they’re not happy until that goal is accomplished. . .and they are dead set fast in their goal being accomplished in the manner
and
the university?
I think that partnerships as a strategic alliance is important these days, and I think that what we need to do is explore in what we can partner with the university. We know the partnerships are out there, so those linkages, partnerships, make sense, in terms of how we can minimize our costs, yet provide functionality that needs to exist. Those are the things we need to explore.
81
Campus
How do you pzizn on duing f%lul? City Hall, in conjunction with the people, would. . .prioritize the stuff the city has to do. . .so that way, we’re maintaining essential services at a maximum level, and yet getting rid of stuff in which little or no good comes out of, like with special interest groups. It’s like with the arts at the present. Approximately eighty odd thousand dollars gets spent on the symphony, and very little winds up going to amateur groups.
How do you view de communi~
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Extremely High Job Placement For Ciip Wofk Terms & Pemwnent
About
You Ruve no pasf expeniwce with local politics. Whut, then, has prepared you for the pusbtiun of ??auyo?-? What I think is my greatest attribute is my openness and my thinking. . I’m willing to listen, more so than most of the people of my age and my generation, cause I’m still young enough to understand the ins and outs of being,.a pung person, and still not old enough to be in with the old crowd.
SEiSSION
OF MANAGEMENT
Mississauga
For hture
fiti&s&&-has lived in the Kitchener-Waterloo area for ten years. His education includes high school equivalency and some community college, but he left school early to pursue a trade. Saunders has been working in auto body repair for over 20 years and owned a related business for five. He has no experience in local potitics.
nem and whizf do you fed you am offm th3t tidy can 2.~ Of the three of us, I’m the only one who has had to make accountable public decisions, and I’ve been doing it for nine years.
INFORlWkTION PROFESSIONAL
Whatis thefoctrsof your cumpizign? The main focus is that I personally am not going to agree to any more tax increases.
&6 &&twz- has had 30 years of experience in local government within Ontario, Alberta and the Yukon. Currently, he is managing financial and administrative services for Wilfred Laurier University.
How do you feel ubotrt your @panem3 and wLuzt do you feel you cm uffer tRuf thy can ‘f? Well, I’m one of three. One gen-
they
are looking for. I’m open to all the [special interest] groups, and I believe that any funding that they get now from thecity should be prioritized, based on how many people they help, what their track record is in what they do. Whut do your feel are the issples mrren fly facing the councd? The current downloading from Toronto. . .we should strive very hard to have no tax increase. How do you view #hetommufiity and fhe univeT.sify? I think that right now that the average homeowner or person who lives in Waterloo misunderstands to a small point the university student. . .how young people are still exploring who they are; they’re experimenting with all different kinds of things, like different ideas. . .and if a couple or few get out of hand it doesn’t mean that everybody there is doing the same thing. How ii% you feel ubozct yaw opponents and whzf du you fee/ you can offer thut thy cm ‘t? All my opponents are worthy opponents. . .there are big differences in our basic approach. My approach is more open, and more in touch with the average person who lives in the community. I’m a lot more flamboyant, and a lot more the kind to call it as I see it.
regional councillor. I think again, the background that I have in handling difficult people situations . . .having a vison of the community’s future, having a focused and measured style, is something that I bring that is far greater. Certainly I have far greater experience, a much broader band of experience than any of the other candidates.
One different position I hold from theothercandidates is parenthood planning. I don’t think it’s wrong to provide funding for parenthood planning. People find themselves in a position needing help,
“We’re going through profound change we can either accept the consequences or try to influence it.” l
Whit is the focus of yaw campaign? Managing change. . .we’re going through profound change. . .the government has indicated its desire to restructure the public sector. . .we can either sit back and let it happen and accept the consequences, or we cangetoutthere and try co negotiate, to try and influence that change in a way that is positive, not negative. And I think that requires strong leadership, negotiating and problem solving skills.. characteristics that would ensure that we have a strong voice.
l
tleman politics never
l
.
l
has no background in local at all; this gentleman has worked
l
in elected
off’ce.
So, I think that what is needed is experience.. . I think in respect to the gentleman, that he can’t offer that and it’s critical, essential. . . Joan McKinnon, the other party, has been a councillor for nine years, some of those years as a
guidance situation. pro-choice,
in a very It has nothing just
people
difficult to do with needing
help. . .trying to put the two together is not fair to people in those circumstances. Judy McKinnon voted against the funding; David Saunders has never been on council, so I don’t know his position.
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
NEWS
31, 1997
Campus Question:
7
How do you feel about the removal of ID, Exchirn and Echo from the SLC?
by Rachel E. Beattie and Alf Smith (photos)
“1 don’t like it. ID’s better than ACM.”
“I’ve never read them, and our university publications are much better.”
“I don’t care. I never read them.”
“It’s a shame because we should support the local community.”
Steve Chung IAMath
Kori M&night 1A Honours Arts
Mat-t Kitchen 1AAl-b
Christian Rodericks 3A Math
“It’s good. We have enough magazines on campus.”
“I think it’s unfortunate that there are rules restricting what should read on campus.”
“It’s better. They are a waste of time.”
‘That’s bad, cause they supportthe local arts community. I rely on them to look for shows.”
Kirsten Jones 3B Kiniseology
Karin Neumann 4A Health Studies 81Psychology
Michelle Murillo 2A Biology
Robert Patrick 4A Planning
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Weasel hunting made easy by Peter Lenardon Editor - in - Chief The game of business re arc two things I generally don’t read when I pick up a newspaper: the sports section and the business section, While I have cnjoycd playing sportsall my .lifc and watched a lot of sports before I entered university, the commentary, statistics and predictions of a normal sports section really mean little to me. The same goes for the business section. Headlines tell of profits going up or down, or superhuge company A
T”
merging
with ultrabig
company
B. As information,
The forum pages allow members of the University of Waterloo community to present their views on various issues thrbugh letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. The opinions expressed in columns, comment pieces, letters and other articles are strictly those of the authors, mt of Imprint. .
both the
sports and business sections are completely useless, in thal nothing you find in there will impact the daily life of people who are not directly involved. They are essentially trivia, and except for some vocabulary, identical. Think of it: The vast majority of Canadians are simply spectators to the workings of financial markets, even if theil pension contributions are tied up in a mutual fund somewhere, Dr they own stocks in a particular company. Owning stock in a company is analogous to cheering for your favourite team. “I’ve owned shares in/cheered for BCE Inc./the Maple Leafs for 20 years.” One supports a sports team by buying tickets and paraphernalia, and one supports a company by buying shares, Sports teams are evaluated by a whole range of statistics like win/lose record, average goals for and against, as well as a staggering array of statistics attributed to each player. Companies have price-earnings ratios and earnings per share, as well as a myriad of statistics describing the company’s overall fmancial health. Professional sports teams go through slumps and winning streaks just as companies have periods of positive earnings and periods where their profit is negative. Even the financial markets themselves have bull and bear markets, Sports has betting, while equity and currency markets have specdation. There is always someone who will take whatevel bet you want to make at some odds. There are hundreds 01
ways to Ynvest” money in one market or another. The most striking similarities, though, are in the way the media participates in sports and business. Both sports coverage and financial market news have analysts or pundits who try ta explain the complexities of a certain game or trading day. The Maple Leafs lost because they took too many penalties, resulting in three power play goals. North American equities markets experienced the largest single-day drop in history and nearly
a trillion
dollars
disappeared
into thin air yesterday
because trouble with Hong Kong’s currency triggered a correction in overvalued stocks. Going beyond analysis, commentators make predictions. Sports analysts try to predict outcomes of games and market analysts pretend to predict developments in markets or other economic indicators. Every Sunday morning during the NFL season, television sports shows feature their own expert whc gives his picks for chat day’s games. Turn to another station and B guy in an even more boring suit is telling you where to invest your money. dne thing that an economics professor said in one of the classes I took that really stuck was that you should be extremely wary of an economist who purports to know the future. Even an approximate idea of one or more economic indicators a year from now is worth billions of dollars. The same goes for sports. If someone knew who was going to win any sporting event, he’d be making millions placing bets, nol reading from a teleprompter. The point here is that markets are impossible eo predict with any certainty, just like sporting events. I would love to see (well, maybe the first time) interviews with trading floor bosses at the end of each day in the same format as the standard athlete interviews. Instead of “I though1 we moved the puck well all game, but we took some bad penalties and I’m just trying to do my best for the team one game at a time,” we would hear, “We had good success with pork belly futures and aerospace stocks today until the volatility in Southeast Asian markets triggered a selling rush, bum right now we’re just trying to keep our customers from losing too much money.” Television reporters would have to inrerview the traders in bars instead of locker rooms, but the coverage would be no less gripping. These similarities only reflect badly on business news Sports and being a sports fan is an enjoyable pastime for many but business news has the tone of being such importanl information. Just look at the headline on the Globe andMad’! main section the day after the crash. It read “Market Meltdown’ in a font size so large it should be used only if there is a Seconc Coming or a nuclear war. Business news is irrelevant. Yes, 1 know, this belief ant my lack of skill with C++ are going to ensure that I never ge another job other than cleaning some software tycoon’s toilet Oh well, we all make our own choices. Regardless of the stock market, the economy keeps chugging along. Firms still se1 their goods to people who still want to buy them, despite cht fact that Bill Gates is worth a CoUDk billion less todav.
The Universitv of Waterloo Student NewmaDer Friday, O&ober 31,1997 - Volume 20, Number 16 L L Student Life Centre, Room 1116,University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3Gl Ph: 519-888-4048 - Fax 519-884-7800 - e-mail: editor@imprintuwaterloo.ca www: http://imprint.uwaterIoo.ca
Editorial
Editor in Chief Assistant Editor Forum Editor News Editor News Assistant Arts Editor Arts Assistant Sports Editor Sports Assistant Human Editor Science Editor Photo Editor Photo Assistant WWW Page Editor WWW Page Assistant Systems Administrator Graphic Editor Proofreaders
Board
Peter Lenardon Katie Ricks Emily Bruner Natalie Gillis Tasmina Pate1 Scott Preston Debbra McClintock Greg Picken Liz Monier-Williams Tracy Hunt Andrew Krywaniuk Rob Van Kruistum Laurie
Bulchak
Graham
Dunn
Klaus Steden Craig
Hickie
Rachel E. Beattie Besz
Shyreen Hirani Evie Nimmo Bernhard Wall
Distribution Bulchak
Imprint is the official
Board
of Directors
President Vjm-pr&&nt
Rob Van Kruistum Greg
Pi&en
Secretary
Niels Jensen
Treasurer
vacant
Director at Large Staff
Marea Willis Laurie Tigert-Dumas Jonathan Evans Adam Natran
Liaison
Scott Preston Justin
Kominar
Justin Kominar
Mark
Laurie
staff Business Manager Advertising/Production Advertising Assistant
and Scott
Preston
Contribution
List
Heather Calder, Chris Ed&ton, Kim Ellig, Jarrett Flindall, Owen Gregory, Darryl Hodgins, Lisa Johnson, Daql Kelman, Jessica Kwik, John Lofranco, Dave Lynch, Mike McKay, Charlotte Morrison, Lauren Nancarrow Clarke, Pete Nesbitt, Amber Neumann, Brien 0. Kerry, Mike Olley, Robert Schmidt, Ali Smith, Pat Spacek, Stephanie Speller, Lauren Craig Stephen, Sikh Students Society, UW Swim Team, Wendy Vnoucek, Kevin Watson, WPIRG, Mike Yunker
student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Irnprir?t is published every Friday duringiall and winte r; TC:IXS, and every secor;d Friday du:irrg the: spring term. Imprint ISSN 07067380. Mail should be Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. addressed to Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, IJniversity of Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3Gl.
Imprint welcomes letters to the editor from students and
all members of the eummunity. Letters reecived via electronic mail must be verified with a signature. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right .to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gender, race; religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed arethose of the individuals and not of Imgint.
Please don’t close the Grad House An open letter to the G.S.A.
have been on campus since beginning my B.Sc. in 1980 and although I am not a graduate student, I have been a patron of the Graduate House since 1984. Since beginning full time employment on campus 10 years ago, I have been eating my lunch at the Grad House almost everyday and meeting with friends for drinks after work once or twice a week. It is fair to say that the Grad House is a special place for me. It is a unique alternative to other bars in the immediate area - the only on campus alternative to the Bomb Shelter and Fed Hall. As for many people, the Grad House is a place that holds many memories for me of special eve&;celebrations and friendship$‘that are the advantage of living and or working in a university community. It is a building full of warmth and character. a meeting place, A rarity at that. Over the years I have seen the Grad House go through good times and bad, (good food and bad) busy periods and slow, wind storms, beer strikes, break-ins and an endless parade of self-serving, politicatly driven G.S.A. members, covering the range -from those whose eyes glazed over when the Grad House was mentioned as though discussing foreign investments in a cardboard box factory, to those who couId actually locate the Grad House on a campus map. I was shocked and angered upon hearing of the Grad House’s possible demise due to debt resulting from low numbers/poor sales, I am greatly disappointed in the G.S.A.‘s “handling” of the situation. Many campus bars face such problems during their life of service but these problems are dealt with; something is usually attempted. I believe it to be the G.S.A.‘sdsrfy to take this opportunity to work with the new house management, to brain storm (and take the time needed to implement and assess) plans to change this trend or at least off-set the debt until this dip in the cycle is through. Closing down the Grad House is an unacceptable solution. The speed with which this is happening seems frighteningly drastic and all too familiar considering recent provincial political maneuvering. I don’t understand why a new House Manager was hired in Septern ber when it appears the G.S.A. has already purchased the wood
I
to board up the windows. Despite the fmal quote in last week’s article to the Gazette, I don’t believe most of the G.S.A. are regular patrons of the Grad House and I’m not convinced that they give a rat’s ass what happens to it. I don’t feel they have given the new Manager a fair shake at dealing with the situation; adequate time has not been provided in order to measure any positive results to recent changes. I implore the G.S.A. to do something, the Grad House has been here for a long time and has earned that much. It is a rare symbol of tradition at a young university which has worked hard to establish its positionalong side its older counterparts. With this being the University of Waterloo’s 40th anniversary, as well as the G.S.A.‘s ZSth, I think doing what it takes to preserve the Graduate House would be a far better legacy for the present G.S.A. than to be remembered for shutting it down.
Thank Harris for Bill 142
H
arris and I are tired of people taking advantage of the system. I’m tired of our debt being weighed down by people freeloading who could be working, people taking money from the government without beingaccountable, irresponsible single mothers who could be contributing to the labour pool, or allegedly disabled people collecting three cheques. We need to cut down on Welfare fraud and Harris is doing exactly that with bill 142! How, you ask? (i) Cheap labour helps everybody. Privatiied Workfare will benefit society because it helps people on welfare to help private industry rather than being a burden to the government. If people can’t work then they deserve to starve. (ii) No more handouts. Welfare cheques will be a loan. Better yet, provisions may be made to hold personal property until the debt is paid. If the person has no property then their dependants can be held responsible. In other words people are actually expected to pay what they owe to society. (iii) Criminals should be fingerprinted. Biometric identification will eliminate anyone who is collecting more than one cheque. So, if you are sitting at home and getting your friend to collect cheque #2 they may have to pass a finger, voice, or retina scan. Fraud is a crime! (iv) Disability is no excuse.
Changing the definition of a disabled person from “Anyone who can convince a doctor they are paranoid” to “Those who can’t dress themselves” will reduce the number of able-bodied free loaders from collecting cheques under the guise of disability. (v) Personal privacy breeds dishonesty. Reduced confidentiality of the welfare recipient will allow administrators the authority to clean up on existing fraud. No more paying for the beers of welfare bums with my taxpayer’s money. Do you disagree? Or are you too much like the desperate, ignorant welfare recipient to write an intelligent response. For the time being, my common two cents go to paying the debt. Thank Harris for cleaning up our system. -A&X
&ye
Bikers: think about safety!
Y
our “Letters to the Editor” column on October 15 was entitled Y3ur own sense of morality” . Perhaps you could title this letter, “Get a sense of moraldy.r’* This letter is addressed to U of W students (and others) who ride around the paths and streets in and around U of W in the dark on their bikes WJ’J%V&Y&YX, be/15 or /igfks: You people temB mt!!! When I am driving, especially backing out of Health and Safety in the evening, yoz/ people are invZ& until you are right in the car’s lights. When you are coming up behind me while I am walking on paths on the campus, you are undetectable until you whiz by at top speed, with no horn to give me warning of your approach. Pl&se get a bike horn to save my life and limb and a helmet and some decent lights to save yours!
can compete in the global economy, an economy that’s com&g whether WPIRG likes it or not (if you don’t believe me go to a Larry Smith class). Recent national and international test scores have consistently shown that Ontario students arc performing average or below average in the core subjects, We all agree that it is not the students or the teachers who are at fault, it must be the education system that is causing Ontario to lag behind the rest of the country. The government has put forward their proposals to reform the system, but the teacher unions have not proposed any alternatives, they simply advocate the scrapping of Bill 160. If the government’s reforms are wrong and the unions have no alternatives, then the only logical conclusion is the unions think this system is perfect. If they didn’t I’m sure they would have brought forward their plan to reform the system during negotiations (and as of the-moment they still have not). WPRIG argues that centralizing power removes unions from the collective bargaining process, which is in fact wrong. The result of Bill 160 is negotiations will move from the local level to the provincial level, still enabling unions to negotiate. There is even
a benefit for unions as then the could hold even more people hos tage to their every whim. Provin cial level negotiations for teach ing conditions is better for every one as, in the case of the las round of negotiations after th social contract, teacher union i agreed to increase class size in re$ turn for the money they lost duri ing the social contract. If negotiaj tions occurred at the provincia? level I’m sure the public woul$ have been aware of the agreed ment to increase class size and never would have allowed it tc# occur. No one knew about th& union’s agreement to increase th& teacher-student ratio making ac countability impossible, as w out public information there be no accountability. Bill160 will also limit clas size, as the Premier and educa tion minister have both p class size will be capped number smaher than the a class size WPIRG used i article. If WPIRG is so cancer about larger class sizes, t should be supporting Bill 16 get the class size down beta regardless of whether or not like Mike Harris or not he k his promises. The best part o limiting class sizes is the fact tha continued
to page 1
The Parking lot is Full by
Pete Nesbitt and Pat Spacek
http://www.execulink.com/-nesbitt/PLlF/index.htm
Kudos to Bill 160
A
s I read theImprint last week, I wasn’t surprised to see the WPIRG article criticizing Bill 160, a bill designed and intended to improve the education system in Ontario. I’ve spent the last three years putting up with their biased left wing views all the while wasting five dollars a term for them to whine. I think Bill 160 is exactly what the Ontario educational system needs to improve the performance of the students so we
of childhood sexual abuse, Stan DeFalco dedicated his life to the creation of pedophile lures that dispensed Bubonic SuperAIDS. The resulting epidemic decimated half the planet’s populationbut still Stan felt nothing. Nothing. At. All, A victim
1
FORUM
10 Bill 160, continued teachers won’t need so much time off in the summer, around Christmas, and the March break to Yestore energy” from teaching nine months a year. Their job is so much more stressful and demanding than everyone else in society who work every month of the year. The doctors, engineers, accountants, lawyers, and business owners (to name a few) all have such easy and less challenging jobs that-they don’t need to restore energy or add to their education at any time during their career.
Carapace
-4-umes McAug/tey 3B Apphkd
Studies
by Mike Yunker
Hanson on tour
Invective
Irreverance by Andrew Krywaniuk
Freedom
L
et me start by saying that I am not unduly biased towards Imprint. I work here because it’s the biggest and best UW newspaper, but I like the fact that there are other publications on campus. 3 even try to write for ‘the Iron WarP-ior when I have _time. However, 1 do have a problem with the Federation of Stu‘dents sinking the lion’s share of ’ its advertising money into a pub‘lication that is not UW’s official student newspaper. ; Imprint is subsidized by the ’ UW students who pay their $4.10 -fee. Consequently, we have cer*tain responsibilities to our cus“tomers that local lifestyle magazines do not. For example, we !provide comprehensive coverage ,of varsity sports and news. We ‘also provide a medium through -which journalistically-inclined students can develop their tal‘ems. This is particularly impor;mnt, since UW does not actually have a journalism program. In previous years, the Feds
to Oppress took out a full page ad in Imprint essentially every week. This translates, on average, into a threepage thicker copy of Imprint, which means more letters from students, more sports coverage, more jobs for student volunteers and more value for Imprint customers. In an economic sense, advertising money that is spent on a student-run newspaper circulates longer within the student economy, thus generating more real value for students, This year, the Feds diverted a large percentage of their advertising budget into their pet publishing project, ACME magazine. As part of the deal, the Feds get some editorial content in the new tabloid. ACME is published for university students, but not 4 university students. This is not the first time that the powersthat-be have placed their faith off-campus. Earlier this term, a group of CS students was upset because the co-op department wouldn’t even consider their bid
Friday, October 31, 1997
WPURC
from page 9 Bill 160 is going to improve education in Ontario and is long overdue. Cappingclass size at less than the current average, making teachers spend time with students as that’s where the learning occurs, and bringing negotiations to the provincial level where more public scrutiny can occur and accountability is achievable are all good and necessary things that I support through Mike Harris and Bill 160.
LMPRINT,
WirTEIiLOO PUBLIC IN=rEREST RESEARCH GROUP Student
Life
Ext. 2578 evpirgewatrerv1 thttp:j/wabervl
Centre
Room
2139
or 888-4882
.uwoterloo.co:,
.uwaterloo.ca/--wpirga
Colombia no friend of democracv
A
welder and father of five, Daniel Enrique Rico Serpa is struggling to address the violence that rages in Colombia. As President of his union, Fedepetrol (the Federation of Petroleum, Petrochemical, Power and Similar Workers of Colombia), Daniel is travelling internationally to talk about the unequal distribution of power in his country, and how it has lead to the abuse of human rights by the government and the destruction of the environment at the hands of multinational corporations. In 1994, recently elected US president Clinton called the Colombian government a friend of democracy in the Americas. A contradiction existed between Clinton’s views of the state and the high death toll caused by political conflict. The 1994 Amnesty International report held that at least nine people a day were being killed for political reasons. The victims came from all sectors of society, but specifically from people from the organized popular sectors, that is peasants, workers and the poor. The severity of the general culture of violence in Colombia is exemplified by the government’s paramilitary force’s random extermination of los &&u&~, (the to develop a new software system for the university. Unfortunately, ACME cannot maintain the same level of news coverage that Imprint can. As an organization that is autonomous from the Federation of Students, we are able to hold them accountable to the students. Our news articles are written by reporters, not by the Feds themselves. To get a column, such as FEDhd, the Feds have to follow the same application procedure as anyone else. Imagine a society in which the government controlled the press (oh wait, hasn’t that actually hz~pmed before?) Two years ago, EngSoc shut down the Irapl Warrior because “it no longer function[ed] as a propaganda tool for the [Engineering] Society.” We are not a propaganda tool of the Federation of Students, and we take pride in that. If ACME wants to be an official university magazine then it should be ratified by students through a formal referendum process. It could then begin to collect a per term fee from students, and the Feds could claim the existence of tacit student support forACME. But what the Feds are doing now, spending our moneywithoutaskingforstudent input, is unfair and undemocratic.
disposable). They are a class of people who include street children, drug addicts, families living off of money earned from collecting cardboard for recycling, and homosexuals. The political violence stems from the fact that the government has been attempting to extinguish protest through its judiciary, the police and the army. Tactics to rid the system of a progressive opposition have gone as far as to virtually eliminate every member of the political opposition party, the Patriotic Union, through murder. So much for the “friend of democracy.” Today, the conflict in Columbia is waged by at least 15,000 armed combatants among the two main guerrilla organizations, the National Liberation Army and the larger Armed Revolutionary Force of Colombia. They are presently fighting on over 100 fronts across Colombia. Even in this environment, students are organizing to try to create an economically and politically fair society. However, their scope of action has be&n limited by government reaction. In the 198Os, organizations were subjected to harsh repression by the government’s attempt to destroy the student movement. Since 1996, however, the movement has
begun to show signs of recovery While student political action is focussed against the privatization of their universities, they are broadening their action by fighting against the government’s selling off of natural resources to multinational corporations. Colombian students are working side-by-side with the Uwa people in a struggle between the indigenous people and the multinationals, Occidental and Shell, interested in the petroleum on Uwa land. The Uwa people, peasants and workers are also forced to reckon with the paramilitary security forces the corporations have employed to scare off activists through violence. Despite extensive documentation of the Colombian state’s oppressive tactics, it still manages to escape international condemnation and sanctions with remarkable ease. The belief that Colombia’s only social ill is cocaine trafficing is touted by the Colombian government as well as the USState Department. Few words are spoken of the civil war which plagues the country. On Monday, November 10, at 7pm in the WPIRG office, visit with Daniel Rico Serpa and hear, firsthand, about what is happening in Colombia.
OutRage by Lauren Craig Stephen FFhe automobile is killing 1 North American cities. Cars have made it possible for people to live far from where they work and shop. Witnesses are a great crime deterrent, but with many people now living in suburbs, the city empties out at night and becomes a breeding ground for crime. Not to mention the pollution all that commuting causes. With work, home and commercial areas spatially disconnected, the sense of an urban community erodes, resulting in urban decay. Which is where the gay community comes to the rescue. Gay people tend to live in urban centres, and the large gay community in downtown Toronto is a deterrent against the kind of urban decay seen in many American cities. Toronto’s “gay ghetto” embodies many of the ideals that urban thinkers like Jane Jacobs (whose work was the subject of a recent Toronto conference) believe we need to see more of in our cities. Rather than being divided by the clearly defined zones which some urban planners like
to impose onto cities, the gay ghetto is an area where commercial and residential areas coexist, It emerged and grew naturally, not as some grandiose project, and because it was never designed for a specific income level or age group, all income levels and age groups are represented there. Perhaps diverse neighbourhoods like the gay ghetto work because they allow people to see how their actions affect others. If the restaurant you’re eating in is owned by a friend or neighbour, if it’s filled with friends and neighbours, you’ll act differently (hopefully better) than if it’s not. Few people will litter in their own neighbourhood, so if they work and play in that same neighbourhood, it stands to reason they’ll be less likely to litter. Of course, part of the sense of community in a gay neighbourhood may be from the perception of it as a safe haven in an often hostile world; however, it still seems that the urban community as a whole could learn a lot by looking at gay neighbourhoods.
It’s the laser - chicks dig the laser Nobel prize-winning physicists don’t losexeir cool
by Andrew Krywaniuk Imprint staff f-he
1997 Nobel Prize for Physics was shared by a group of three scientists who helped to devise a technique for constraining free atoms to within a very small area. Keeping particles in the same place involves slowing them down, and herein lies the quandary. At room temperature, your typical molecule of gas bounces around at about 4000 km/h. You have to get the temperature down into the millionthsofa degree above absolute zero before the average speed of the gas reaches the more moderate range of 1 km/h. Four thousand km/h is pretty fast. Maybe you’re wonderingwhy you don’tgetsweptoffyourfeet by the oxygen you breathe. The answer, of course, is that the energy of a collision and the momentum that it transfers are both related to the massofthe movingobject,and the mass of an individual electron is very small. When you cool a gas down, it may solidify into what seems like a lifeless lump, but it still has energy. The molecules in a solid can vibrate along the intermolecular bonds (you can imagine that the atoms are connected to each other by little springs).
1
Unfortunately, sometimes solids are just not good enough. More and more, scientists are attempting to manipulate matter on the scale of a single molecule. Such processes allow us to construct smaller and more accurate devices, and they can sometimes give us insight into the physical laws that govern nature on a small scale. In this case, the latter consideration is probably the more important, though in today’s research fundhungry atmosphere, advocates are quick to point out that the new technique finds applications in atomic lithography and offers us the potential to build a much more accurate atomic clock (as if we really needed a clock that loses one second in 3 million years instead of every 30 thousand years). Unbonded particles have only one ‘&sink” for any free energy they pick up: direct translational motion. This requirement presents a technical problem. The only way to get a gaseous molecule to stay in one place is to remove it from all sources of free energy. In other words, you have to make it very cold. This means that the experiment has to be performed in nearvacuum conditions. It is also necessary to seal off the chamber from light and any other sources of ambient radiation.
Before we continue, let us take a little diversion into the wide, wide world of wind. Wind blows because of large-scale atmospheric effects, but your average air mol-
observer will be a gust of wind. Wind results when the individual particles have an average velocity in a particular direction. Assume that you are a bad apple
Manypeoplebelievethat Manypeoplebekvethat lase~areonlygmdforblowhgupsatellites. lasersareonlygmd forblowingupsatellites. ActuaUv.lasersarem~~oftenusedtoperfonnverydelicateoperations. larcpubs.larc.nasa.flov/randt/ ecule doesn’t know this. All it feels is the force of its collisions with other particles. The particles in a given locale may all be moving haphazardly, but if there is any bias in the momentum of particles moving in a particular direction, then the cumulative effect on a local
1993/RmdT/SedonL/L
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molecule that is trying to buck the trend by moving in the “wrong” direction (all directions are created equal, but some directions are more average than others). Because you are moving against the grain, you have a greater chance of entering a collision that will slow you down or change your direction, just as you would if you drove your car down the wrong side of the street. This is another example of the ubiquitous negative feedback principle in action. The action that causesyou todeviatefromthenorm also gives rise to a counteraction that pushes you back towards it. Similarly, if you were to move in the “right” direction, but faster than the average speed, then you would be more likely to engage in a collision that would slow you down, much like a bill in the House of Commons. The challenge faced by the Nobel laureates was to use some sort of negative feedback to devise an efficient trapping mechanism. In 1985, William D. Phillips, a researcher at the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) developed a trapping system that relied entirely on magnetic fields for the containment unit, although it used a combination of lasers and magnetism to slow the particles down to a speed at which they could be trapped. This wasa breakthrough, but there was still a long way to go. At the same time, Professor StevenChu(nowofStanford)was devising the now-famous Doppler cooling experiment. This new setup employs a battery of sixorthogonal lasers which converge at a single point. Each pair of opposing lasers forms a negative feedback device
which constrains the atoms along a single plane of motion. Together, the six lasers collaborate to hold the target atoms at a single point. On a macroscopic scale, the atoms are constrained within what appears to be a very viscous substance. This virtual fluid is given the moniker “optical molasses.” Of course, the Doppler cooling experiment is not strictly a trap because the atoms are still falling withina gravitational field, but this effect can be canceled with some additional equipment. The basis of the negative feedback mechanism iscalled the Doppler shift. This principle explains that the perceived frequencyofan emitted waveform will be higher if the source of the waves is moving towards the observer. The effect is easily noticeable in train whistles, but it applies to any kind of wave, including light waves. Bluish light has a higher frequency, and thus a higher energy, than reddish light. The secret behind the Doppler cooling process is the quantization of energy at a low level. Atoms of a given substance can only absorb certain discrete wavelengths of photons whose energies correspond to those of transitions between the various internal states ofthe atom. Ifwe set the wavelength of the laser light to be slightly lower than the wavelength of light that the atom can absorb, then a moving atom will always be traveling into a beam of light that has been blue-shifted. Of course, the smallest temperature that can be obtained by this method is limited by the random energy that is transferred to the atoms by collisions with photons. Whenever an atom absorbs a photon, it re-emits it in a random direction at a later time. This effect helps to keep the particles constrained to within a small area, but it also sets a limit on the extent to which random kinetic energy can be eliminated. Further optimizations to the process were made with the help of the third Nobel laureate, Professor Claude Cohen-Tannoudji, from La College de France and l?cole Normale Superieure. One of the major improvements was a technique for preventing slow moving atoms from absorbing additional photons. Unfortunately, these adjustments are all far too complicated for inclusion in an introductory article. Meanwhile, the prestigious Ig-Nobel prize for physics was awarded toJohn Bockris ofTexas A&M University, for his wideranging achievements in cold fusion, in the transmutation of base elements into gold, and in the electrochemical incineration of domestic rubbish.
SCIENCE
IMPRINT,
Friday, October 31, 1997
The new Frankenstein Headlesstadpoles take control by Owen Imprint
Gregory staff
J
onathon Slack, a professor of Developmental Biology at the University of Bath, has manipulated frogs’ eggs to reduce living tadpoles with no heads. The intent of the experiment was to determine patterns of head-tail-trunk formation during animal development. The repercussions of the experiment could have far-reachinglegal and ethical consequences. The reason for scientists’ concern is the potential for applying the technique to humans, in order to “grow” organs for transplant. Professor Slack discovered that a type of signaling substance called fibroblast growth factor is released from cells in the future tail region. The growth factor stimulates other cells in the rear half of the body to activate genes of the cdx class which in cum activate genes of the Hox class. The significance of this discovery is that Hox genes are known to exist in all animals, and are known to be key regulators of the head-to-tail pattern in embryos. The implication of the experiment is that the process studied by Professor Slack is
highly analagous in all vertebrate embryos, including humans. If the process is similar in humans, then Professor Slack’s technique could be applied in order to grow headless humans. The procedure would involve culturing cells from any tissue of the subject. Using recombinant DNA technology, specific genes would suppress the development of the remainder of the body except the organ desired. The cells would then be fused to an enucleated egg and allowed to develop until it was large enough for grafting. Development would have to be supported by the appropriate nutrients. In essence, we would need an “artificial placenta.” If organs could be grown from a patient’s cells, then there were be no chance of rejection. Professor Slack thinks that the procedure is theoreticallypossible, but chat it will take 10 to 15 years ofreseaftih before the technique is feasible for humans. Professor Slack feels that, “there are huge ethical and legal issues. . . It is idportane to discuss these things before they become a practical reatity in order to get the regulatory and legal framework right.”
Web sites of interest
painting
by Edvard Munch
www.bath.ac.uk/Departments/Biosciweb
.
The Nobel Foundation Web site: www.nobel.se The Vancouver Aquarium Web site: www.vanaqua.org The University of Bath’s Embryonic Research page: www. bach.ac.uk/Slack
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Imprint staff
S
ince the beginning of time, we humans have been intrigued by things that tie cannot control. Our f%cination with wild beasts Ieads us co create films like KitigKong, to. ,*write books IikeI~~miew with the Kzmpire and to gasp at the grander scheme of things in the universe. Keeping animals in zoos and aquariums is one means of experiencing primal fear without any danger of having one’s head bitten off by wild beasts. There is a point, however, where human safety is not of any immediate concern, and an animal’s captivity is primarily for the gratuitous demands of society. Over the past few years, a raging battle of words and activism has been fought between animal rights organizations and those iho keep animalsawayfromtheitnatu~,ha%tac(while their natural habitat is beiw destroyed). Finna, a male orca who was caught off the coast of IceIand in ‘1980, lived the remaining years of his iifk in captivity at the Vancouver Aquarium with his partner Bjossa. During their 17-year romance, two of their offsyrirr’g, both born in captivity, died. Conve&ently, the lease of the aquarium f&ilities was also coming due at that tiqe. As a direct result, the lease was ,rewritt&n to disallow the capture of wild
whales for exhibit at the aquarium, excepting any species who are endangered or any individual animals who require specific personal attention. With Finna’s death, new points are raised and old ones are reincarnated. Why do we need to keep animals in small cages? Sure, attractions such as Sea World and the Vancouver Aquarium turn over thousands of tourists each year, bringing outside money into a city’s economy. A necropsy revealed that the cause of Finna’s death was related to a baF!xial infection and a case of pneumonia inone lung. John Nightingale, an aquarium -$entist, assured the public that people also die of bacterial infections and pneumonia, so we should not get upset this. Unlike most afthose that die in ehe wild, aquarium-based whales need to be disposed of. Finna’s 476Okg is quite massive, and will probably be buried or cremated, as earlier attempts to be creative were disasterous. Aquarium spokespersons have made it clear that Finna will not receiveasea-burial. 1991’s sea-burial of Hyak turned into an unqualified disaster when parts of his body washed up on local beaches. Legend has it that a group of city engineers once tried to rid themselves ofa beached whale by blowing it up with dynamite. Their scheme backfired when a giant blob of flaming whale blubber crushed a parked car a mile away-
by Wat!SFic special to Imprint
T
his fall’s WatSFiC AD&D FormatTournament is number 50 since the club first began holding them in 1978. It has been recognized as the longest-running tournament of its kind. We have had people from all across Canada come out, as well as several participants from the U.S. We certainly hope to have a large turnout this time. We’ll be looking for some of the “old folk” that have been involved with past tournaments, as well as those who have never attended one of these events. This term’s tournament will be running Saturday, Novembef 15 and Sunday, November 16, 1997, with Friday evening sessions running only if we have an overfIow of registrations. It is the third tournament written by the submitter(ANorseasailrorsebeing his last effort) and attempts to give some different challenges, while remaining high in role playing. The first round is titled, “Mission Improbable,” while the follow up has been dubbed “. . .And now, for something completely different.” The tournament began running in 1978, not long after Dungeons & Dragons came out. Back then there were only a handful of
teams with four players each. The game grew and so did the tournament. Soon, more than thirty teams of six were competing for team and individual prizes totalling more than seven hundred dollars. This year’s event should offer the most prizes yet. And hopefully, new and old faces at the tables. The tournament consists of two rounds or sessions that may or may not be linked together. Teams of six players each are given pre-generated characters and breathe life into them in their own way, Each team plays the same scenario in a set time limit (usually four hours plus set up time) and is scored on the basis of team and individual roleplaying and set objectives, as set by the writer, Three sessions are held Saturday at 8:OO a.m., 200 p.m., and finally 8:OO p.m.(H8txrt3We: sessAm.s are bo0M on a fifSmm bmk, so please fegis fe f before the to24mument 2fuou need a specific timesht. The ewning slot fills quid/y and we only hve a cet= tin numberof DMs to go around) The teams’ scores are then tallied and compared with a third to half qualifying for Sunday’s fi-
nal round. Prizes are awarded for Saturday’s best role players, with first, second, and third place finishers receiving gift certificates from local gaming s tares that sponsor the tournament. Sunday’s
When not playing in the tournament event, you can play any one of the six Living City RPGA sessions being run. These scenarios have never been played in Canada and will be running at the A same three times as the as well as Sunday, for chose that don’t make it into the sec-
prizes are given to the top three teams, as well as six first place role players. There are also other events that are happening during the weekend.
This is a great opportunity for players to give their Living City characters some experience. And for the night owls and back-stabbing bastards out there, we have the return of the Thieves’ Challenge. This event has been a favourite for those who have not had enough gaming and can still see straight at two o’clock in the morning. It consists of ZO-plus thieves going out on the same mission, but with room for only one successful returnee, and the prize that goes with it. It has varied in format, but rumours have leaked out that a scavenger hunt may be in the works. We are also trying for a demo session this year for the new Legends of the Five Rings role playing game. Efforts are being made but confirmation is pending.
The final happening of the1 weekend is the DM’s dinner that: takes place after the awards Sunday night. This tends to be the/ time when players get together: with the evil creatures who have: judged their adventures and find out why they were killed (not> necessarily killed, but it happens). It takes place at one of the local restaurants within walking distance of the university and all are welcome. The entrance fee for the tournament has not gone up for years and is a bargain. Cost is $36 per team of six or $6 per individual. You can save one dollar per person by registering by November : 7,1997. The RPGA events can be ! entered for $2 per event with a one time $2 charge for those not registered in the tournament. The Thieves’ Challenge is t free to all who wish to participate. (The DM’s dinner will run to whatever people choose to eat and drink.) The most important ‘I .i thing is to have fun! We appreciate any inquiries and/or volunteers for this event. There is still some room for DM’s wishing to participate and always space for another player or team. For information, you can reach this year’s Secretary of War by emailing edkoerner@sgci.com Find WatSFiC at www. csclub.uwaterloo.ca/clubs/ watsfic/. So stop by and say hi. See you there.
1ne Kacliation Izxperience
V-1
by Lauren Nancarrow special to Imprint
ovtqhmered i ched cuuMn shod&7 wouldn
Clarke
me
my eyes und i ‘t mwe ‘t mwe ‘t mwe
H
ow do I describe radiation? For me, the first ten seconds of the treatment were probably the worst ten seconds of my life. I thought that the room was pitch black, that if I opened myeyes I would see blinking lights and rays, and my eyes would be hurt. I thought that the smell that surrounded me was my skin burning. But, if I had opened
my eyes I would have just seen the multi-million dollar machine doing its job in a well-lit room. Also, the smell had nothing to do with me. It was the smell of ionizing oxygen, similar to the smell of lightning. My fears were unfounded. I had to wear a mask fitted to my head. It had taken three sessions toget it right, from the papier ‘mach6 stage to refitting it after I had cut my hair. The mask was to keep my head in place and protect some parts of it while exposing other& the rays. This hard piece of plasiic held me still so that I would be-‘safe. I still have the mask. It is an eitremely ugly, clear, inflexible piece of plastic. Red and blue lines marl&its face. It has no resemblance to me. It is just a prop - but it still evokes1 : anxiety
in me.
The fu-st time I was radiated,’ the nurse counted up from one to ten, then the radiation was over. This was supposed to relieve my fears, reassuring me that the time was almost finished. Rut, as the numbers increased so did my level
of tension. quicken, beating in experience, go through
I could feel my breath my heart pounding, my chest. After this I knew that I couldn’t it again without help.
decided to do something concrete for me. My mom and I were being hosted magnificently by my uncle during my course of radiation. He would carry my mattress downstairs in the morning so I could lie around the house all day and then back up at night to sleep. He took care of my mom and me by driving us, making us wonderful meals, and by spending time with us. His life was put on hold
derful visualization for me about a female crane named Invicta. The crane was me. She was free and able to soar above it .a11 in peace. She was alive and well. The next morning, my second radiation treatment, the experience was radically different. I was calm going into the room. I was calm ‘is I lay down on the metal bed. As &ey strapped my head in, I was able EO breathe
friend had sent me the po;m “Invictus ” by W E Henley There is A line in it that states something to the effect of “I am the master of my soul, I am the captain of my fate, my face may be bloodied, but I will continue on.” This poem inspired and comforted me. The feeling of not be-
9 the first paragraph of the visualization. I could see the crane soaring over the land. I tried to h’&ve my whole being in thatrAying. “i; I didn’t have the stre‘ngth to go through these days alone, but with support I did. I drew on the power of all those who were thinking of me and the wonderful im-
The crane was me. She was free and for‘&;“,“y;hy$-atmenr a ~~~‘~h,a~~~~~~~~~~ able
to
Soar
above it all in peace. * That day, my mom and I \called everyone we knew to tell ‘,&em how hard the radiation had de+. We asked them to help me by pqaying and sending positive enerh 50 me during my radiation session fhe next day. At this same time, my uncle
.
ing in contro1
l
.
of it all, yet needing
to continue, needing to believe that I could choose to continue, was the key. I needed to have a sense of power somewhere. I was “bloodied” and I was carrying on. : My uncle knew my feelings for this poem. He wrote a won-
ages
that
ingly
created.
my
uncfc
had
so lov-
Cruniulrudiutiunisonepu??uf the tmumm? for /e&%&2. It wus introduced in udef fu pmmf brain mek2zstuKes which WeYr apmblem for pmphddud~m~dojhkia.
iS
HUMAN
14
IMPRINT,
Friday, October 31, 1997
The ins and outs of the Sikh Faith by the Sikh special
Shrdent Society
Brief
History
to Imprint
S
ikhism is a practical religion - a faith of hope and optimism. Its ideals form a large part of the more progressive elements in humanity today. It shows mankind how to lead a worthy and useful life in the world, which elevates Sikhism to the status of a Universal World Faith. Sree Guru Granth Saaheb Jee, the holy Scriptures of the Sikhs, consists of the revelations of God received by not only the Sikh Gurus, but also by Hindu and Muslim Saints, most of whom belonged to so-called low castes. The message in the Sikh Scriptures is for all of humanity.
Who is a Sikh? The word “Sikh” means a “disciple.” A Sikh is a person who believes in One God and follows physically, spiritually and intellectually the teachings of the Ten Gurus, enshrined in the Guru Granth Saaheb Jee, the Sikh Holy Book. He/She also treats Guru Granth Saaheb Jee as his/her living Guru (spiritual and intellectual circle).Additionally, he or she must take PAAHUL (Ammrit), the Sikh Baptism.
The founder ofsikhism, Guru Naanak Dev Jee, challenged the intolerance of the Mlrslims of his time. He also exposed the meaningless rituals and caste Dreiudices Prevalent &&g the- Hindus. Guru Naanak Dev Jee propagated the equality of man and treated Hindus and Muslims alike. He opposed the distinctions of caste and called himself a member of the lowest caste. Guru Naanak Dev Jee and the nine Gurus who succeed him set a wonderful example of living spirituality, while taking an active and secular part in the world. The Tenth and last Naanak (Guru), Guru Gobind Singh Jee (1666- 1708AD), was only nine years old when he was bestowed the Guruship. He has formalized the Sikhs into the Khaalsaa by the KHANDE DEE PAAHUL (AMMRIT) ceremony (Sikh Baptism) and thus in 1699 AD, He gave a distinctive identity to the Sikhs. The first five baptized Sikhs were named Panj Piyaare (Five Beloved Ones), who
in turn baptized the request - an event known in the history On this day, the Tenth told everybody that male’s last name would
Guru at his hitherto unof mankind. Naanak has every Sikh be SINGH
Sikh Holy Scripture, wascompiled and edited by the Fifth Guru, Guru Arjan Dev Jee, in 1604 AD. This is the only scripture in the world that has been compiled by the founders of a faith during their own lifetime. During the eiehteenth centuk, the Srkhs were subjected to various suppressions and persecutions by the authorities of the time, persecutions motivated by communal fanaticism. They had to make supreme sacrifices to protect and preserve their faith and entity. Also, during the freedom struggle of India, a large number of Sikhs kissed the hangman’s noose, faced all the bruphoto ~a~rtesy of the Sikh Student M&i~n talities and braved the bullets and suffered long term imprisonments in orand a Sikh female’s last name would der to liberate the country. be KAUR. Although the Sikhs constiShortly before passing away, tute only 2 per cent of India’s Guru Gobind Singh Jee ordained population, they have made a that Guru Granth Saaheb Jee, the name for themselves in almost all Sikh Holy Scripture, would be the walks of life: armed forces, agriultimate spiritual authority for the culture, sports, industry, educaSikhs and the temporal authority tion, medicine and engineering, would vest in the Khaalsaa Panth through sheer dint of hard work - The Sikh Commonwealth. and with a missionary dedication. Guru Granth Saaheb Jee, the Their adventurist and enterpris-
ing nature has taken them to almost all countries of the world.
Sangat and Pangat The two important features of a Gurduaaraa (Sikh Temple) are Sangat - congregation, and Pangat-Community Kitchen, also known as Guru-Kaa-Langar. This community kitchen is meant for providing food to all devotees, needy and visitors. It is a symbol of equality, fraternity and brotherhood. It is here that the high and the low, the rich and the poor, the learned and the ignorant, the kings and the beggars, all share the same food sitting together in one row. This kitchen is run by the common contributions of the Sikhs. The institution of Langar (Common Kitchen) is instrumental in creating social equality among the whole mankind. The University of Waterloo’s Sikh Students Association is having a LANGAR DAY (FREE LUNCH) and proudly invites all of you on November 3, 1997, to the Multipurpose Room in the Student Life Centre.
FEDback
PRENTICE HALL Clue, Sams, Ziff-Davis, New Riders, Waite Group, Adobe Press, Hayden, Brady and more . . . Available at:
Co--R
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746-6042 www. sentex. net/-watbtmk
ing St., N., Waterloo
ion. to Fri. 1 O-9 : Sat. 1 O-6 ; Sun. 12-5
Take a sea& Seat Sales. Charters. Student ClassTMFares. We’ve got them.
University Shops Plaza, 170 University Ave., W. Owned
and operated
by the Canadian
Federation
8864401
of Students
s promised last week, here is the list of contacts for all the clubs on campus. They are always looking for new members, so get out there and get involved.
Association of Collegiate Entrepreneurs-Waterloo (jbakus@artsmail) Ahmadi Muslim Students Association (iahmad@undergrad. math) Business and You Club (vwllee@elecomz.watstar) Caribbean Students Association (dggonsal@scimail) CASI/SEDS (bcschlei@ novice) Chess Club (jgpaters@ artsuz) Chinese Christian Fellowship (raleunflnovice) Chinese Culture Corner (j%@undergrad.math) Chinese Students Association (ahkZchan@undergrad *math) Club That Really Likes Anime (jpobrich@sciborg) College Bowl Association (rgonzales@undergrad.math) Freethought Waterloo (tcampbel@sciborg) Grace Christian Fellowship ( tauy@?cousteau) Habitat for Humanity
(pappeters@cousteau) Helenic Students Association (ggmartou@science) Hong Kong Students (jyfung@artsmail) Infinite Circle (kimchris@ goldennet) Indian Students Association (pgopalon@scienceZ) Interdisciplinary Forum (jgwilkin@logos. math) Irish Students Association (mkrooney@artspas) Jewish Students Association (rshuste@undergrad.math) Konnichiwa Japan (knekoda @ashmail) Korean Christian Fellowship (dhan@undergrad.math) Korean Students Association (aoh@science) Native Issues Association (cZbrant@fes) Navigators (cahandy@undergrad.math) OXFAM (Rkgill@coustcau) Polish Students Association (bjasion@uwater!oo) Progressive Conservative Club (agdauphi@science) Rover Crew (geduggan @csclub.calum) Sikh Students Association (ipsingh@undergrad.math) Singaporean Malaysian Association (sma@watservl)
TaiwaneseStudencsAssociation (meleu@novice) Ukrainian Students Club (osczurk@scimail) University of Waterioo Bridge Club (amgillen@science) University of Waterloo Chinese Debate Society (hhfchen @artsmail) University of Waterloo UN club (wabdulla@undergrad *math) University ofWater Young Liberals (wabdulla@undergrad. math) United Students Association (nsbidari@artsuZ) UW Organic Gardeners Ciub (bkinouye@fes) UWSpanishClub(hmatson@ artsmail) Waterloo Africas Student Association (okibazoh@novice) Waterloo Christian Fellowship (mgbarfoo@novice) Waterloo International Socialists (hmerz@scimail) Waterloo Ismaili StudentsAssociation (nchagpar@scimait) Waterloo QuizBowl (zhzou@ novice) Waterloo Tamil Students Association (jvisvali@artspas) Watsfic (vgarofal@undergrad. math) Waveform Transmission (istevens@undergrad.math)
ZIMPRINT,
Friday,
October
31,
HUMAN
1997
15L
Making headway on the runway
by Stephanie Imprint
L
Speller stti
ocal designers got together Tuesday night at Club Abstract to put on a fashion show with proceeds going to Habitat for Humanity. The show was directed by local fashion designer Lydia Odhiamdo, and had several participates promoting their original fashions. The evening began with an excellent performance by a dance troupe from Guelph called Barefoot Rhythm Dance and Drum Collective. Inspired by strong African tribal dance, they captivated the crowd with pulsating drum and energy filled chants. After a half hour of dance, it was time for the designers to display their creations. Diana Austen, Lydia Odhimabo, and Tami Macdonald each have a sense of personal expression and inspiration. All revealed their fabulous designs for fall and winter. Austen’s creations focused on a selection of fabrics from empire lined dresses to her own version of the sexy black dress. Odhimabo was simple in her cuts with smooth lines and soft fabrics. Her fashions
varied with beautiful a-line skirts and tops in bright greens and vibrant blues, along with elegant black and gray dresses in all lengths, for day or night. Macdonald was the features designer for the night. She focused on women’s wear in crushed velvet in deep purples and reds with a renaissance inspiration. Emmanual Monterroza had 18 pieces in his collection Tuesday night. His designs are taken from the fetishes of S&M and bondage. Needless to say, leather, spandex, PVC, and chain mail were the main fabrics used in collection. Monterroza has been designing for fou and half years now, and sells his pieces to arious shops in f Toronto. At only 18 years old, Helen Mackenzie was there to show her fall and winter collection of funk and grace. Her style is vibrant with colors and odd materials that range from shower curtains to bathrobes. She has recently graduated high school, and has only been designing for four months. Look for her designs to flourish in the near future. One of the most talented designers Tuesday night was Steve Wand with his
clothing line Campitelli. Inspired by Gaultier and the late Versace, Wand’s creations for men and women arc exquisite in taste and design. Wand’s definition ofglamour is “‘something that is unique, individual and remarkable.” His collection Tuesday night was proof that Wand is glamorous, and has
a talent that wilt take him places in the, future. Fashion is a form of expression, and’ each designer Tuesday night had their] own form. “Making Headway” was a show; that promoted individuality -- and helped : the local community. Watch for future. shows by the K.W. Fashion AIliance. :
UW SHOP
NOSTALGIA NIGHT ki.0r-v davs vassmg vou bv?a d +
d
A
J
5
Friday November 7th at 7:pUpm, join us at the l?AC for UW Shop Nohtalgia Night! Relive your university days by wearing your old UW clothing to the Naismith Classic basketball game. H we centre vou out at the U
TP
U
r’
n
game you could win the brand Swiss time Campus Originals Wrist Wa tc.!
Get crazy with Gold & Black!
Ticket Info. 888-4567, ext. 5369 photos
by Rob Van Kruistum
Mon to Fri - 8:3Oam - 5pm Sat - 12pm - 4pm 888-4567, ext, 3914
HUMAN
16
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
31, 1997
Imprint auiz: What’s VOW zktitudg towards s&x?
by Amber
Neumann, Kim E. Beattie Imprint staff
El&, and Rachel
I) Whensomeonesaystit word “Sex” yuur~t3~ responseis: a) to cover your ears, rock back and forth and try to think pure and happy thoughts. b) “yes, please” even though they were referring to gender. c) your eyes glaze over as you remember the events of half an hour ago.
slipped technique, works everytime c) it’s so hard to remember what that was, so I guess I’d have to say a little light bondage on the first date.
5) Theplace yotc ‘dlike to live ~utyour
St?x#d/fuzmsy is:
a) pants that show a little ankle and a shirt that shows some wrist. b) no clothing, my pants are always down anyway, hyuk, hyuk. c) black leather pants, whips and a gimp mask.
a) the marriage bed with flower petals scattered about to symbolize your own deflowering. b) the internet. c) well, my favourite place was P&e Lachaise Cemetery in Paris.
Mostly
“A’%
Let me guess: you stay as pure as the driven
want to snow as
Have you ever had sex. . _ with another person? You know what they say about the people who talkabout sex the most. They get it the least. Well you’re never gonna get any if you don’t change your immature attitude. You need to start “talking sex with Sue.”
Mostly “C’s You are a total slut. Ilf you looked up “nympho” in the dictionary yoti would see a picture of yourself. Haven’t you ever heard of diseases? There’s more danger to sex than just whipping your partner too hard. You need to start “talking sex with Sue,”
Tips for Hallowe’en by Rachel Imprint
E. Beat& staff
I
t’s that time again, the time when ghouls, goblins and five hundred Sailor Moons in plastic costumes take to the streets in search of candy. You too can join in the fun. There’s more to Hallowe’en than just trick or treating. You can play jokes on unsuspecting trick or treaters or if you are in rez, you can still have lots of fun at Hallowe’en parties. Here are some tips to ensure a screamin’ good Hallowe’en.
How to have fun with
trick or treaters.
Make the older kids answer skill-testing questions. You never trick or treated when you were that old, so why should they? Grab a calculus text book and ask them a sample question. Then, if they
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as you can? I think you’re in denial. I bet you think sex even more then those are gettin’ some. You need to “talking sex with Sue.”
Mostly “B”s 4) Yom- idt?u uf safe sex is: a) no sex, you sinners, you’re all going to hell, to HELL, I say. b) washing my hands. c) leaving the key for the handcuffs in reach of the bed.
2) Yuti idea ofse3yclothing is:
3) Yoiwde~ni?~on of~?wbm&: a) isn’t that a baseball term? b) a successful application of the yawn, stretch, oops-my-hand-
long just about who start
stickaround and answer the question give them some sunflower seeds. Stare at the kids who are obviously pumpkins and say, “What are you dressed as, no, let me guess, a ghost, right?” And refuse to give them candy until they say they are a ghost. Ask trick or treaters if they would prefer an apple with or without a razor in it. Lecture anyone who comes to the door on the true meaning of Hallowe’en. Teil trick or treaters you won’t give them any candy unless they egg your neighbour’s house. When the kids say “trick or treat” say, “I’ll have a treat, thank you,” and help yourself to their candy.
. How to have fun at a Halloween party. Drink
some
ketchup
before
fun
it is your turn to bob for apples and then once your head is in the water spit out the ketchup and yell, “AAAAAAHHHHH razor.” Dress up like a psychic and tell everyone they have a curse on them and the only way to remove it is to give you lots of money. Put fake, but real lookingeyeballs in the toilet bowl. When people say “nice costume” to you, get offended and say, “Costume, what are you talking about, this is how I always dress.” So now you are ready to have a ghoulish good time. So find yourself a costume. Jfyou can’t think ofanything, there is always the old standard “crazy one-armed plant man.” Or there is the classic ghost costume. Whatever you go as, remember to have fun and watch out for those razors in the apples.
SEX
18
IMPRINT,
Friday, October 31, 1997
A is for abstinence,that’s goodenoughfor me ’ by Margaret Imprint
DunnvilIe slx3.B
0
f all topics that can be related to sex, abstinence is often the most overlooked. After all, people are still hiving sex. Let’s get bare naked and fuck. Let’s talk about sex, baby! For many of us now in university, those songs were the novel, giggle-inducing first exposures to sex that made us blush as some kid played them on the school bus. So what’s changed since then? Well, for some of us, not much. The first date, the first kiss, the second and the third. And then the hesitation and the explanation about waiting until marriage. But the responses are always surprisingly good. Good, as in understanding. I mean, it’s not one of those after school specials where she leads him on, gets
called a tease and is forced into something she doesn’t want to do. No, they’re actually quite supportive. There’s an element of surprise at first, like, “you mean you’re 21 and you’ve held out this long?“’ And then they stop and think about it. About all the pressures, the sexual tension and certainly the temptation. And the majority of the time, I’m told that abstaining is very noble and they’re impressed with my decision. So, why the decision to abstain? It started off as a religious, strict Baptist upbringing-thing. But having deviated from that into the university life of drinking, drugs and freedom, it has become more of a because-it’s-what-Iwant-to-do-thing. It’s special. The last of the living virgins. And it’s not easy. Most people think a virgin at our age has to be the ugliest, geekiest kid on campus.
But the slender, five foot six, blueeyed blonde in your class could very well be that, . that. . *well, y’know, the v-word. I’ve dated my fair share of guys, too. Some for a few months, others for a couple years. Most people joke that it’s amazing they can stickaround for that longwith-
out exploding. But they’re certainly not the only ones that are ready to burst. In fact, this summer it got a little too much. I asked the guy I was seeing to take it. I couldn’t hold out anymore. But he wouldn’t. Now, I didn’t just ask; I pushed and pleaded. I insisted, but, he wouldn’t. Sur-
prised? So was I. But this just proves not everyone is out for sex. In fact, there are a good deal of students that are waiting. And there’s a good deal more like I was, trying to get rid of it. But stop for a minute and think about what you’ve got and why you want to hang on to it.
Is ultimate passion an illusion? by Emily Imprint
Bruner staff
an immediate sex be justified rationally? Logic dictates that people who have been going out for a few months have sex in the midst of their strong feelings, while others have one-night stands to gratify their meaningless sexual instincts. Wowever, this trend has exceptions and could possibly be reversed. There are many couples who have no real emotional understanding of one another, and their relationships sustain themselves through empty conversations, rented movies and habitual, uncommunicative sex. Maybe two people who just met could experience intense understanding and mutual respect that goes far beyond the foundation of manylongterm relationships. But is this just based on an illusion? Many times have I heard peo-
C
ple regretfully admit, “Yeah, we met and thought everything was perfect, and we had sex, but it was much too soon because we didn’t really know each other as well as we thought.” It is logical then, that if you have not spent much time with a person, there is no way to know who they really are and how they will act towards you after you have sex. Time, here, will help you determine if you could have sex with them, and not fool yourself with an incomplete picture of their personality. But, by some strange random stretch of the imagination, perhaps you could know a person at this level without time being a relevant factor. Perhaps you can see the core of who they are without relying on proof to support your conclusions. Then it might work; people could meet, develop strong feelings instantly, tap into each other’s thinking selves, and both be comfortable enough to have a “real” sexual experience,
which includes genuine meaning and fulfillment. Once again, is this possible? There is nothing that necessarilyconnects time to deep meaning and mutual understanding. People could cut through the surface in such a unique way that they know they know each other, and after three days, they have sex without it being foolish and meaningless. But, why should this mutual understanding be expressed sexually? Could people just feel very strongly for each other instantly without having sex? The answer might be that the strength of these immediate feelings has to be realized in all ways that are possible between people. Could the sex, perhaps, have more meaning because it is immediate? Does this only exist in the imaginary world? It’s hard to say, but if it did exist, it would be the ultimate passion.
The Imprint Buff Boy
4 shows
dailv
I November
I
I
6,7,
also starring Burning Desire, StingRay, Ryan l
dmrs
open
at 8 p.m.
- show
&ins
6 Bridge Street
at 9 p.m.
Jarrett, a 24year old PsycholOgy major,enjoyslong walks on the beach, breakingthrough defensivelinesand spending time with hissonPeyton. Jarrett hopesto pursue a careerin the CanadianFootball League afkr bringing thevanier Cuphometo Waterloo,where it belongs. He is a star running back, enjoys reading poetry by firelight and loves to laugh. Jarrett’sturn-ons includelargemetal trophies, Astro-turf andthe sound of bodiescolliding.
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
19
SEX
31, 1997
Imprint Sex !!!hiwyey.results I
t’s really not surprising. In terms of the number of responses, the first ever Imprint Sex Survey has blown away any that Imprint has tried in recent memory, including our annual Reader Survey. Out of 220 responses, 103 came from women and 117 came from men. All values are given as ‘percentages of those surveyed who answered yes.
Sexual
Orientation
Homosexual Male: 9.4 Bisexual Male: 1.7
Animal Female:
17
12.6
Female:
17
How many people you have had sex with Male:
5.2
Femile:
4.6
Parents know
how active you are
sexually Male:
33.3
Female:39,8
Can ask for what you want during sex Male:
48.4
Female:
73.8
Does size matter? Female:
37.9
Currently MaIe:
Toys you use
-
Handcuffs, nightstick, butt plugs, difdos, blindfolds, penis rings, vibrators’ beads, creams and lotions, neck ties, safety pins, candles, whips, shoelaces
Female:3.9
Average age at which )Iou lost your virginity Male:
I love them”, “has feelings for me”, felinity, trustworthiness, nice set o’ legs, butt, personality, intelligence, sex drive, genuine, . pussy, virginity, compassion, care, . open mind, cuteness, hands, smell, confidence
53.8
noises
you make
Cat (meowing and purring), primal beast-type, snorting, platypus croaks, pig, growls, barks, bear, horse, cow, giraffe (soft moo), * babvn, rooster, seal, sheep, wolf, dolphin, kookaburra, RZ-D2
Weird
places you’ve had sex
Lake, back of a speedboat, floatingdock, phocobooth, sideof401, hanging on rope from bottom of a zeppelin (a lie, bzrt funny -Ed.), washing machine, St. Jerome’s church, kitchen counter, ASU office, airplane bathroom, public shower, EL 101, MC 2066, SLC elevator, park bench, in a tree, cemetery, playground, on a ladder going up, tower, driveway, wall, East 5 during construction
Dating ’
Female:
56.3
What you find attractive in a sexual partner Height, hair, breasts, face, sexual attitude,
eyes, smile, body, “that
Food you use Wine, peanut butter, creme de menthe, Nutella, chocolate syrup, bean burrito, bananas, yogurt, cucumber, zucchini, ice cream, baklava, Pringles, cherries, straw.
berries, whipped cream, Brown Cow, maple syrup, honey, olive oil* Jello, peanuts, pudding, carrots, caramel, Bailey’s Irish Cream, Werther’s Original Candies
Haveyouever... Had sex with another person? Male: 89.7 Female: 93.2 Had sex with more than one person at the same time? Male: 11.5 Female: 14.6 Given oral. sex? Female: 91.3 Male: 92.3 Received oral sex? Male: 87.2 Female: $8.3 Performed oral sex on yourself? Male: 6.0 Female: 0 Had anal sex? Male: 33.3 Female: 18.4 Had phone sex? Male: 46.2 Female: 39.8. Had sex on the Internet? Male: 23.9 Female: 19.4 Had an orgasm? Male: 100 Female: 77.7 Had multiple orgasms? Male: 41 .O Female: 57.3 Masturbated? Male: 98.3 Female: 77.7 (Thee men lied! - Ed.) Engaged in mutual masturbation? Male: 70.9 Female: 53.4 Used sex toys? Male: 35.0 Female: 35.0 Had sex whileothers watched? Male: 17.9 Female: 11.7 Videotaped yourself having sex? Male: 11.1 Female: 4.9 Watched others have sex? Male: 19.7 Female: 11.7
Watched porn? Male: 94.8 Female: 64.1 Given money in exchange for sex? Male: 12.0 Female: 0 Received money in exchange for sex? Male: 2.6 Female: 1 .O Lied td get someone into bed? Male: 22.2 Female: 11.7 Told someone you loved them to get them into bed? Make: 16.2 Female: 2.9 . Used food (whipped cream, hot dogs, corn flakes) during sex? Male: 54.7 Female: 59.2 Had a one-night stand? Male: 45.3 Female: 42.7 Had sex while under the influence of alcohol or drugs? Male: 65.0 Female: 7 1.8 Had sex while l#lf under the influence of alcohol or drugs? Male: 84.6 Female: 82.5 Been caught while having sex? Male: 41.9 Female: 31.1 Had sex in your parents’ bed? Male: 31.6 Female: 3 1.1 Had unfulfilling sex? Male: 75.2 Female: 80.6 Worn a costume (cowboy hat, French Maid’s outfit) to enhance foreplay? Male: 16.2 Female: 16.5 Used sex as a weapon/for revenge/for sympatiy? Male: 20.5 Female: 27.2 Done it doggy style? Male: 79.5 Female: 71.8 Been injured/inflicted injury while having sex? Male: 42.7 Female: 49.5 Fantasized about someone other than your partner while
engaged in any sexual activity? Male: 62.4 Female: 52.4 Found a ‘G’ spot? Male: 36.8 Female: 4117 Faked an orgasm? Male: 27.4 Female: 57.3 Disturbed other people with excessive noise during sex? Male: 30.8 Female: 53.4 Had sex with someone whose name you didn’t know? Male: 17.9 Female: 11.7 Had sex with a friend’s girlfriend/boyfriend? Male: 15.4 Female: 17.5 Practiced transvestisism/sadism/masochism/necrophilial other? Male: 17.1 Female: 23.5 Said the name of someone other than your partner during sex? Male: 6.0 Female: 14.6 Talked dirty during sex? Male: 59.8 Female: 53.4 Made animal noises during sex? Male: 29.9 Female: 17,7 Had sex without a method of protection against STDs? J Male: 62.4 Female: 692 Picked up/been picked up ip a bar? Male: 38.5 Female: 5 15 Experimented outside of y&r usual sexual preferences? { Male: 24.8 Female: 3 111 Had sex with someone wh’ re there was an age dif5erenc of more than 20 years? Male: 2.6 Female: 1.% Had sex for more than three hours in a single session? Male: 53.8 Female: 41 7 i
You onlv hurt the.-ones vou love Harde’;:*harder,HARDER!Wait, that’s too”hard.
by Graham Imp&t
T
Dunn staff
he scene: The woman strolled past in thighhigh PVC boots, leading her partner on a leash attached to the collar around his neck. The location? Not a private back-room at some exclusive sex club, ‘but Queen street west on a Saturday night. Kink, or at least the paraphernalia surrounding it, has become cool. The last few years have seen a surge in the amount of this sort of materia1 on TV, in music and art. This arti& is a look at some of the terms inSolved, a few issues in kink, and why people get off on % it. When taiking about ‘kinky’ sex, the telm ‘BDSM’ gets a lot of use, It’s a collection of acronyms that encompass ‘Bondage - Discipline’, ‘Sadism - Masochism’, and ‘Domination - Submission’. Bondage is probably the most familiar; most people can identify with some degree of restraint in an erotic atmosphere. Discipline involves all mannqrs of punishment from a sbft spanking to a full fledged flogging. ‘Sadism and masochism are traditionally associated with in-
tense physical play, overshadowing the power-based aspect. In sadism, pleasure comes from inflicting pain on others. Masochism is taking pleasure in being subjected to physical pain or abuse. Domination and submission refers to the mental aspect of the transfer of ipower. Domination is taking control of the situation and making the decisions. Submission involves surrender of will; taking the orders that one is given. When describing the people involved in BDSM, the terms ‘top’ and,‘bottom’ are often used in the areas of Bondage - Discipline and Sadism 1 Masochism. Both participants are in control, albeit in different ways. While the top controls what is going on, how many lashes to administer, where the clothespins should go, etc., the bottom has control of how far things will go, and can stop the scene if they’re uncomfortable, Dom and sub are the obvious abbreviation’s of dominant and submissive, referring to the partners involved and their roles. All of the above terms mean slightly different things depending on who you ask. Top and dom are often used interchangeably.
Power
and Sex
Power and sex are intimately related in our culture, often so closely as to be indistinguishable. Rearranging traditional roles, changing who’s on top in a mental sense, can be very erotic. For someone who doesn’t normally take a lead role in the relationship, being in control, dictating what happens when, can be tremendously exciting. The reverse is also true: the power transfer involved in submission makes a fat of people very hot. These transfers can take place anywhere from an elaborate setting at a play party with many people and a full selection of toys, to something as simple as at home with your lover and a blindfold. Power, wielded ,or surrendered to, in an unusual context is very arousing. It crosses over our normal boundaries; the aberrant becomes arousing.
Safety “Safe, Sane and Consensual” means BDSM play should be enjoyable for all those involved. ‘Safe’ covers issues from proper rope technique to safewords (to lei your partner express that they’ve reached their limits in a manner that won’t be misinterpreted). ‘Sane’ means The
slogan
avoiding playing under the influence of alcohol or other drugs and respecting your partner’s wishes+ ‘Consensuality’ means there’s a difference between play and abuse; without consent, BDSM degenerates into the latter.
Why
people
play
Engaging in BDSM-related play allows you to explore a side of your personality you normally wouldn’t. Besides the strong physical and mental sensations arising during play, extreme BDSM situations teach lessqns you can apply to the rest of your life. Knowing that you can stand, even enjoy, crawling on your hands and knees, collecting roses in your mduth for your master, makes the mental stress of asking for that raise pale in cotiparison. Knowing how you react in uncertain situations gives you an immense boost in self-confidence. If you can handle having your hands chained above your head while your top rakes welts into your chest with their firigernails, you real& how your perception df pain affects how much things ‘hurt’. What hurts under normal Grcumstances can be pleasurable in the midst of S&M play. The
physical arousal people feel in S&M play is very similar to a nner’s high. The body’s respo ‘i: se to painful stimuli is the prodbction of natural pain-killers called endorphins. Combined with the adrenaline rush from this sort of play, they can cause a sensa&n that often goes beyond the pu&iy physical pleasures of orgasm.
Toys
i’
Some people find costu$es arousing; cross-dressing, PVG or leather are a few of the favourijtes. As to equipment you can us4 in S&M play, simple is good: he sensations you can create u ng only some clothespins, a spat 1 la, and your fingernails are amazing. a comprehensive how-to, or chological treatise of why pe about finding
safersm.html.
out more about
SEX
22
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
31, 1997
Take control: contraceptives and the student life by Wendy Vnoucek special to Imprint
0
kay, we’re going to start off simple. If you’re having sex, you’re usingprotection, right ? The question to ask is what kind of protection are you using? Latex, hormones, wit, words, and self esteem-choose your method and use it. It’s really a personal decision. Condoms are compact, transportable and quick. They do a great job pi0 tee ting against sexually transmitted diseases. But as far as pregnancy prevention, condoms are not as reliable as you might think. According to the nurses at Health and Safety, the estimated success rate of condoms preventing pregnancy is closer to 65 per cent, rather than the pamphlet purported 85-95 per cent. Use a spermicide with the condom and protection goes up significantly. However, of all the methods listed in this article, condoms LVY the only hirfi4 control mefhod fhuf o&fir effectiue pro fe&n ugl7inst ST&! Oral contraceptives, the daily
low-dose estrogen and/or progesbody and, like the pill, prevents provides safeguards against pregterone hormone pill (commonly ovulation. It starts working 24 nancy for a three month period by known as “the pill”) is proven to hours after insertion and can last preventing ovulation. Depobe the most effective birth conup to five years, but can be surgiProvera@ is 99 percent effective. trol method (next to abstinence) tally removed at any time. Side However, its side effects are more with a success rate greater than 99 effects include irregular bleeding serious, and may include irreguper cent. What about the lar bleeding, spotting, side effects ? Users may eventually a lack of menexperience light spotting strual period and weight or vaginal bleeding in the gain. The trade off is not first few months of use, having to worry about fornausea and weight gain. getting the “pill” one day One thing to remember and having to resort to - smoking while on the other birth control methpill drastically reduces its ods. effectiveness, as do cerDiaphragms and tain drugs, such as penicervical caps are flexible cillin. If taking any medibarriers that are specially cines that might interact fitted for women by phyChoose ya Iur weapon. with the Dill. use a back _ sicians. Thcv are inserted photo by Wendy Vnoucek up methob. into the vagina and block Cousins to the pill are, the for nine months to one year after the cervical opening, preventing contraceptive implant, the intrausurgery, weight gain, headaches, sperm and STD’s from entering terine device (IUD) and the new, nervousness, nausea and dizzithe uterus. Both diaghragms and injectable contraceptive. ness. cervical caps sh’ould be used in The implant is a $roup of The IUD is a T-shaped plasconjunction with a spermicidal small, flexible hormone containtic device that is inserted into the cream or jelly, reapplied each time ing capsules rhat are surgically uterus and stays there until it is sex is initiated. The diaphragm inserted under the skin on the removed. Some stay in for up to can be inserted up to six hours inside of the upper arm. The horfour years before being replaced. before intercourse and can be left mone is slowly released into the While 97 per cent effective in in for up to 48 hours after interpreventing pregnancies, the side course. These barrier methods effects of possible cramping and are a bit messier than other methspotting in the first few weeks of ods, and generally not as effective use, and generally heavier menagainst pregnancy. strual periods, make it a less popuThe vaginal sponge, made of far choice for students. soft plastic and about two inches m. m. . I. . . . . ‘l-he newest type ol hormone in diameter, contams spermicldes contraceptive is the injectable that are released for up to 12 hours a stronger “pump” is exercise. A Depo-Provera@. One injection while the sponge is in place. For study of 3,000 men and women has shown that’improving fitness levels increases cardiovascular endurance. This endurance translates into reduced muscle fatigue and a greater potential for longer and more satisfying sex. 1 i J The sexual controlcentre, the brain, is also affected by exercise. by Greg Picken sure medication and diuretics. It reduces stress, which is a comImprint staff Nearly 60 per cent of men diagmon cause of sexual dysfunction nosed with diabetes can expect to and lack of drive according to sex mpotence. Robber of man be faced with impotence at some therapist Jo Marie Kessler. The hood. Destroyer of sexual in phase of their life. Also, injuries mental massage exercise gives timacy. Ruiner of lives. But or long-term pressure to the groin also raises self-esteem and imdoes it have to be? Cheer up guys, area can lead to problems. proves body image. The study the answer is no! While there is no sure-fire Impotence has long been one way to prevent a case of impoconducted by De Villiers of 164 men and women found that those of those taboo subjects among tence from affecting you, there who exercised had significantly men: no one wants to acknowlare certain steps you can take to more self-esteem and less body edge that it has ever happened to minimize the chances. Living a dissatisfaction than those who them. Virility has been held up as healthy lifestyle is a definite plus: were sedentary. the measure of a man, so who avoid smoking, excess drug and would want toadmit they couldn’t alcohol use and eat well, avoiding But psychologist Richard M. . Ryan warns that all those beauty do it. high-fat foods. This wiil help prepageant bodies who exercise for Impotence, or erectile dysvent medical problems that can the sole sake of improving apfunction, happens to men in all lead to bouts of impotence. walks of life, and is almost comBecause many men believe pearance will not receive the psyimpotence is all in the mind, they chological benefits associated pletely irrelevant to manliness. with increased activity. “If your One in ten men will experience don’t seek proper medical care, motive is offly appearance oriproblems relating to impotence which can cure or minimize the in their lives. effects of impotence. More than ented, exercise becomes a penance, not a pleasure,” he says. The misconception has long 90 per cent of long term impoAnd pleasure it can be, espebeen held that impotence was a tence cases can be cured, but only mental problem, but current reif men seek help. There are a cially if you do it with another. search indicates that the cause, in number of cures, depending on Everything from ballroom dancing to jogging, to push-ups (use most cases, is physical, not psythe cause of the problem. If the your imagination) is better with a chological. Impotence can be dysfunction iscaused by prescripcaused by a number of medical tion medication, then perhaps a partner. problems, ranging from prescripdifferent drug is in order. For more You can master your own contion medication to physical injuserious cases, solutions can incoction of a love potion that will ries to diabetes. clude self-injections, similar to make body chemistry work wonOver 200 kinds of prescripthose diabetics employ, which is ders. Keqp fit and have .fun. tion drugs have are known to cause injected straight into the base of impotence as a side effect, the the penis and induces an erecmost common being blood prestion.
Exerciseyour way to better sex by Ciboulette Lafleche special to Imprint hat is the magic love potion of our time? What is the ideal aphrodisiac that students can easily find? Well, forget mussels and oysters, leave chocolate to melt on the backburner and let the love potions of wine and other alcohols evaporate. . .the affordable and most effective aphrodisiac is physical fitness! Below the surface skin and sweat, exercise is a booster of sex drive right down to the chemical level. Blood circulation and testosterone control a lot of the sexual mechanics: a man’s erection and a woman’s arousal level. Exercise raises blood testosterone levels and levels of brain chemicals which are associated with increased sex drive. Both men and women benefit from the increase in testosterone, with women increasing their level sharply after exercise, according to Dr. Rudolph Dressendorfer, director of the Human Performance Laboratory at New Mexico Highlands University. A study done by sex therapist Linda De Villier found that women experienced a surge in sexual appetite within 60 to 90 minutes of cornpleting their workouts. Regular workouts are a way of engineering our sexual systems. To make things pump and grind a little better, the flow begins with the pump: your heart. A stronger heart will pump more blood throughout the body, including the genitals. The key to
W
maximum effectiveness, the sponge should be left in for six hours after intercourse. Its effectiveness in preventing pregnancy is generally lower than the preceding methods, ranging from 6490 per cent depending on brand. Vaginal spermicides may come as creams, jellies, foams and inserts or suppositories. They are inserted by an applicator before each act of intercourse. Used alone, these methods are about 79 per cent effective. Spermitides, however, are more often used in conjunction with condoms or diaphragms to increase protection. In addition to these birthcontrol methods, there are “natural” methods, such as the withdrawal method or rhythm method. The former involves the man’s withdrawal of the penis from the vagina before ejacula tiion. Not only is this difficult to time, some sperm are released into the vagina with the pre-ejaculate, renderingwithdrawal more or less worthless. The rhythm method involves measuring and charting vaginal temperatures, ovulation dates and combinations of the two. Because of the time commitment and diligence involved in the proper use of these methods, they are not suggested for the average student. You may as well try the “cross your fingers and pray” method.
What hannens when vou can’t stand and deliver?
I
The gentlest solution involves using a vacuum pump, similar to that seen in Ausrin Powen: h~tenattion~l Man of Mysmy. The principal behind this method is that, as the air is pulled out, blood is drawn into the penis, creating an erection. A ring placed around the base of the penis maintains the erection for up to an hour. While most cases of impotence are physical in nature, there are still a number that result from psychological problems sue h as “performance anxiety” or other stresses. In thesecases, the source of the stress must be discovered, and whatever steps are needed to remove that problem should be taken. In most cases, open dialogue between partners can help resolve the problem. If you are experiencing problems with impotence, you should contact a physician as soon as possible to discover the source of the problem, and how best to cure it. If you wish to see a specialist, contact
a qualified
urologist
or
have one recommended by your general practitioner. For more information on impotence, try www.impotent.com or www.impotence.org, where you can find further information on impotence, cures and causes..
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
SEX
31, 1997
Almost better than the real thing by Rachei Imprint
but you don’t Mickey Rourke.
E. Beat-tie staf’f
re you sick of seeing the average Joe EsterhasA tyle, exploitativeBfz~~G1fisfintf rip off sex scene in movies? Here are some suggestions of movies that have good sex scenes that are a little different. Warning: not everyone one will like or even want to watch all of these. Hig/rwQy 61- The main characters take a break from their road trip to New Orleans to have sex in a church graveyard. The Devil plays bingo inside the church. It doesn’t get much better than this. Gss&- The main character in the movie only wants one thing from a manrigor mortis. This movie treats necrophilia in a surprizingly non-judgmental way, Once you get over the fact that she’s having sex with dead bodies, it’s not all that disgusting.
T’heMan Who Fell to Eadi - Any movie that features a sex scene with David Bowie has got to be Throw in the fact interesting. that he plays an alien and the movie was made in the ’70s and you’ve got a very strange movie. Li/l’es - This sensual romantic period film tells the story of two starcrossed male lovers in rural Quebec. The boys get it on in an old washbasin in the forest. Tampopo - This Japanese movie features scenes that mix sex with food. It is similar to 9 I/2 Week3
have
by
to look
at
23 and Jonathan Evans (photos)
Klaus &eden
your chances?
(Asked outside the Bomber, Wednesday Oct. 29, 1 I :45 p.m.)
TAe Hunger - This movie features a vampire lesbian sex scene between Catherine Deneauve and Susan Sarandon. Oh yeah, this movie also features David Bowie. Blood and I)onuts - This movie features a long distance sex scene between a vampire and a waitress in a donut store. It’s sort of a telepathic phone-sex scene.
get shitfaced.
Crasl - This movie was basically wall to wall sex. The funny thing is none of it is particularly interesting or arousing. The mosr interesting thing about it is how it makes sex look incredibly boring. Priest - This movie features a sensitive sex scene between a male priest and a guy he picks up in a bar+ This is not the type of movie you will see at a religious film festival.
Vancouver,pretty slim. Bound- The mob and lesbian sex, who could ask for anything more. There’s one really long scene with two women and some fingers. Use your imagination. Lave and Human Remuhs says Canadians aren’t sexy? obsessively sexual flick has bondage, psycho serial killers sexual rofeplaying.
“Jane”
“Kiltie”
“Crazy Caroline”
Who This it all: and
That’s just a few of the great and strange movie sex scenes out there. Rush out to your local video store and try to find them. Someone may have actually heard of some of rhem.
w
The last time IIgot laid, Vanilla Ice was popular. ‘Tapped-out”
With a girl? Slim to none. “Mike”
Oh god, I hope not! Fucking South E fbsh. “Chuck”
It’s Shag-a-aenc,BaDy 1
19
A lavman’s guide to music and sex d
by Klaus Imprint
M
Steden staff
usic and sex are two things I take very seriously. Perhaps my recent obsession with the former (specifically Big Black) could explain the recent lack of the latter. But that’s a discussion for a later date, to be held in confidence with my psychiatrist. I digress. The characteristics of a good sexual experience are actually fairly similar to those comprising an interesting musical experience. For instance, a good sense of rhythm is usually encouraged; choice of tempo is a matter of individual preference; it can be entertaining to listen on one’s own, but it can be much more
entertaining to share the adventure with someone else. When it comes to sex itself, music can serve many purposes, from setting the mood to (ahem) concealing those sound effects people seem to make while they make the beast with two backs. This is not to say simply anything works for music to shag to; I personally would be most upset, if not offended, if forced to listen to Hing dance music, and I would definitely exile a Bush or No Doubt fan to the couch without thinking twice. So what makes a good song to shag to? As previously mentioned, a decent rhythm is a good start; not too fast that you’d throw your back out, but fast enough to keep things interesting. But there’s more to it than that; music can be an extremely sensual experience if the band is right. Couple that (no pun intended) with some hot sex, and you have the makings of something interesting. There are certain criteria char
one should judge potential shagging music by, as one would judge a potential shagging partner. First and foiemost, if you can dance to it (without maiming someone in the process), that’s an excellent start. Something that has rhythm cati complement your own natural sense, or if you totally lack rhythm, it can help you keep time. Atmospheric keyboards and/or guitar are sounds to look for. Grating musical textures usually don’t help. Rough edges are fine, but guitar a la Steve Albini, for instance, is a sure-fire mood killer. Which means what, precisely? Well, the Cramps are an excellent choice when it: comes to rough edges; the Damned are not. The last thing you should consider is what exllc~. are you going to be doing? Fucking? Having sex? Or making love? The emotional involvement you have with your partner is also one more thing to consider. And you just can’t FUCK to Delerium. The Cramps, on the other hana are
not the right thing to make love to. So then. . .the winners are? For a good- hard fuck&t, bands to look for include: Lords of Acid, the Cramps, the Normal, electroindustrial Miniscry (CircaTwitch), My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult, Nitzer Ebb, and Front 242. Think hard, loud, and a solid back beat. For something a little lighter, and not quite so fast and hard, anything from Curve, Cocteau Twins, Depeche Mode, (early) Stone Roses, Echo and rhe Bunnymen, and Delerium would be a propos. Think swirly and swoony, shoe gazer, Manchester, eighties techno pop, ambient. Good beat, layers of sound, and a danceable rhythm.
Some shag-a-d&c essentials: l l
0
Ravel - “Bolero” (trust me) Sisters Of Mercy “Floodland” Lords of Acid - Lust anything by Sarah McLachlan (make sure to ignore the lyrics) anything by Delerium Stone Roses - S?une Roses Curve - Pubic Fruit Echo and the Bunnymen Depeche Mode - Musicfor theM&es the Cramps - Bud Musicfo?-
Bud Peuple l
Enjoy
anything safely,
by Barry White and in good health.
l&!WYiMSBx= Wespe&theLatigwgeof love.
SEX
24
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
31,
1997
Life’s a feast and you’re my favourite dish by Aunt Imprint
Edna staff
ITwo
of the greatest pleasures in life are food and sex. What better way to heighten your enjoyment of both then by combining them into one beautiful act? It is well know that certain foods like oysters and garlic increase your sex drive, but that is not what concerns us here. We are more interested in giving you tips on the foods you should bring in the bedroom with you in order to spice up your sex life. Here are some good choices: Chocolate. Chocolate has been a favorite among the adventurous since the dawn of the coca bean. It’s smooth silky texture and delicate taste are a welcome addition to any sex act. Chocolate makes a wonderful fondu in which you can dip fingers, toes or anything else from which you would
1
Eat me.
. ohoto
like to lick. (Just make sure that the fondu is not too hot.) Be aware that chocolate stains, but hey, at least you don’t have to worry about calories as long as you wbrk them off after consuming. Whipped cream. Whipped cream is sweet, light and not too
bv Rob Van Kruistum
filling, making it a nice snack. For maximum enjoyment pass on the tubs and go for the pressurized cans. The cans allow you to be creative, drawing little patterns or letting you express how you feel through designs. Just don’t shoot it up your nose (or other orifices.)
Strawberries, cherries, grapes, etc. Feeding your partner fruit is an especially sensual way to help each other get in the mood. Of course stuffing a whole banana into someone’s mouth could be a way to ruin the mood in a hurry. Strawberries, cherries and grapes are all good choices, but make sure to get the seedless variety. Nothing is less sexy than hocking a loogie during foreplay. Ice cream. Many flavours to choose from and easily available. Lick quick before it melts. Jello. Jello is wiggly, jiggly and a whole lot of fun. See what makes it wiggle most. Bet you giggle. Wine. What better way to get drunk then to lick wine offofyour partner? The cheap stuff works best, Honey. Ah, the nectar of the gods and heaven for those with a real sweet tooth. Beware that this stuff is sticky. Damn sticky. Keep
away from all available orifices as premature closure may occur. Pastrami on rye with mustard. The most sensual of the salted cured meats. When you are in the mood for something a little quirky. Not a good choice: anything fried with a whole lot of hot grease. Imprint
sex recipe
Human
of the week:
Sundae
Yuu will need 1 warm human body naked 3 scoops of your favorite ice cream (put it where it counts) chocolate sauce nuts (optional) whipped cream cherries Dimctiom: This is one time when you should really just figure it out yourself. Be creative! Enjoy. Share with a friend or whatever it is you people do.
Does it burn when you peer The skinny on sexually transmitted diseases
by Shyreen Imprint
Hirani staff
G
onorrhea is a disease transmitted by any type of genital, anal, or oral sexwithan infected person. Many women and men have no early symptoms. However, some males may feel a burning sensation while urinating and a discharge from the penis. Conorrhea can cause a serious infection in the uterus and fallopian tubes which leads to sterility. Gonorrhea can cause sterility in men and a difficulty in urinating. Early treatment will reducemanyofthesecomplications. Antibiotics (penicillin or tetracycline) is the method that is used to treat Gonorrhea. Symptoms may disappear within a few days of treatment. The disease may not be cured until all the pills have been taken, therefore, it is of utmost importance to follow the instructions that accompany the pills. This treatment has been found to work. However, it is advisable to go to a clinic five to seven days after the completion of treatment for a follow-up test. Once tests have determined that a person is disease-free, he/ she may have sex again.The only people that can be infected by the disease are sexual partners+ Trichomoniasis is a verycommon vaginal infection caused by a germ passed from moist objects, such
as a towel,
but
most
often
from one person to another during sex. Trichomoniasis is uncomfortable and can cause vaginal discharges, itching and also burning sensations when urinating. This disease can be treated with a drug known as Flagyl available in.pdls,,
or cream. Flagyl should not be taken early in a pregnancy. All pills must be taken and alcohol should be avoided until all the pi.lls are gone. It is best to eat before swallowing Flafyl since it may induce nausea. It is advised to wear cotton panties or boxers since it will keep the area drier and speed up the cure. Cold compresses and or soaking in the tub will help relieve the itching. This treatment has been found to be successful and sexual relations can resume once all the symptoms disappear, the medication has been taken and your partner has been treated.
Non-Gonococcal Urethritis (NGU) is an infection of the lining of the penis. It is caused by germs other than gonorrhea. The most common is chlamydia. Early signs of NGU include a burning sensation when passing urine and a discharge from the penis. NGU is almost always passed by having sex with an infected person. If not treated early, it may cause a painful infection of the testicles and may also cause sterility and arthritis. Again, this disease is treated with antibiotics. Alcohol should not be consumed while on medication. This treat-
ment has been found to be very good. The onlypeople at risk of catching the disease are the partners of an infected person, Syphilis is a serious disease that affects the entire body. Syphilis is transmitted by any genital, anal or oral sex with an infected person. One of the first symptoms includes sores that will appear where the germ first entered the body. A couple of weeks later, it will cause a body rash. These symptoms disappear within six months but the germs continue to spread through the body. Many years later Syphilis may cause heart disease, brain
damage or death. Early treatment will prevent many of these complications. Syphilis is treated with antibiotics. Two or more injections a week of Penicillin will be given. Tetracycline pills should be taken according to the instructions. It is imperative to stick to the treatment until it has been completed. Like all the other treatments it generally works. Sex can resume two weeks after the completion of the treatment. People that may be prone to receiving the disease include sexual partners. Pregnant women may also pass it on to their unborn children.
Nice shoes, wanna. .talk? l
by Heather Calder, VP Student Issues specid to Imprint
S
ex. Most of us have talked about it at one time or another. Whether we’ve had it or haven’t, we have all had the talk with a parent/friend/relative (remember the one where you stood there wishing that the whole topic would just go away?). If school was where you learned about sex, you probably didn’t talk about it much there either. Embarrassed teachers taught us about how the plumbingworks and went through Sexually Transmitted Diseases But most of us never talked
101.
We are often still uncomfortable talking about sex, even though we are now considered adults I think it’s because most of us grew up with vague, complex ideas about sex. We learned that it should be saved for marriage. We saw on television that you could have sex with anybody and everybody. We learned from talking to friends who have done it that the first time isn’t that great. We saw on “Days of Our Lives” that the first time was like a fairytale, all candles and satin sheets. Diagrams of female anatomy that we saw in school were curiously missing the clitoris. We learned
dom by putting in on yourself, or if you are female, on a banana. Learn about your own body. Do you like to be touched gently or do you prefer a stronger hand? Because sex is a very personal thing for almost all sf us, it’s important for each of us to know how we feel about sex. Think aboutyourvaluesa bit-what do you think about having sex soon after meeting your partner? You have the right to make your own judgements about sex for yourself. That means the right to decide what you feel is moral and immoral, foryouMelJ; and the right to decide what you are com-
comes, you find the conversation easier. And don’t forget that you have the right tochange your mind about any sexual activities you have previously engaged in, or have never tried. Don’t forget to laugh about sex, too! It’s funny when one of you has trouble putting on the condom, or when you try to do a gracious position switch and end up smushing your hand in your partner’s face. Some of the noises that occur during sex are definite& funny. Laugh about these things, and the whole experience becomes a lot less tense and stress-
that masturbation
fortable
ful and Laughter
is shameful,
and
about did it secretly at home. what we really wanted to know. In all that I’ve read, the* seDoes sex hurt? How do you even cret to learning to talk about sex is do it? Can women have orgasms? to practice. Practice telling the mirror that you want to wait to How do we talk about sex with have sex, Practice telling your pilthe person we love/care about? low what makes you feel good Most of us had no idea, and no direcrim.. L . . . - I , $ract,ke ‘3 . qing, ,a, yt- I.“_ -4,“4 c I .‘I . , ,a~20,upeqi c;
doing.
What
do you think
about different kinds of sexual activity? Being clear in your own mind about what you like and don’t like, will and won’t do, want and don’t want, helps you to be cleaf with your partner. Practice saying these things out loud to
a lot more enjoyable. opens up possibilities.
For more information about sex, contact Heather Calder at the Student
Issues
ResourceCen-
tre in the Fed Office, one of the nurses at Health Services, or call the Facts of Life Line at l-800INFO-SEX.
.Bring on the Yeomen! Warriors clinch home-field with whitewash of Guelph
Warrior defensive back Blaine Bell brings down Cuelph wide receiver Scott Gordon, causing a fumble, which Eric Pauyo Jr. is just waiting to pounce on. Pauyo would later be knocked out of the game, and the season, with a serious knee injury. photo
by Greg Imprint
Picken staff
For Ghiso hved the worti, ht h gaw Ais ontj begurren Ah, hhz# whusu~eT~~evet~ eveTasting l$e.
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he Christian faith has long speculated that Jesus will return to Earth, leading the good to greatness. This is just a pet theory, but I think He’s come back in the form of Arek Bigos. Bigos was responsible for 75 per cent of the Warriors’ offense this past Saturday as the Warriors knocked off the Guelph Gryphons 24-O. Bigos booted home five field goals, two singles and an extra point, to account for 18 of the Warriors’ 24 points, and averaged 43X yards on ten punts. The other offensive hero was third-year defensive back Jeff Rendell. Number 5 racked up a fumble recovery for the game’s only touchdown, an interception and a sack, in addition to solid work in coverage. Yes, that’s right, the offensive hero was a defensive back.
opportunities. If not for the spirit of this fearless crew, the game may have been lost. Jarrett Smith broke two more records on Saturday, setting a new OUA single season rushing record of 1275 yards, breaking the record set by former Western fullback (and current Buffalo Bill) Tim Tindale. Smith also broke another Tom Chartier record with 181 rushes on the season, breaking the seven year-old mark of 166. On the day, his numbers were a little off, grabbing only 95 yards on 27 carries. Most alarming were the numbers in the first half: five yards on six carries, as the Warriors’ offensive line couldn’t “blast Guelph off the ball.” The Gryphon front seven wore down in the second half, and Smith was able to put up the kind of numbers we’ve come to expect. . Despite the lack
tone for.the game when he put a little freight train on one of Guelph’s pass rushers, sending the burly Gryphon to the sidelines with a bad case of whupped ass. This weekend, the Warriors will look for a little more revenge this week, as they face off against the York Yeomen in the OUA semi-finals. York defeated Waterloo
FOOTBALL
Why
is that?
Well, it was not a banner day for the Warriors’ offense, as the running game was contained fairly well, and the passing game was negligible. IIn fact, Waterloo put up its lowest offensive totals of the season, only 1153 yards rushing and 48 yards passing, with 23 yards lost on sacks. As usual, it came down to a battle of field position, and the Waterloo special teams kept Guelph pinned deep in their own end, while giving our team plenty of field goal
by Nick Jensen
28-24 in the third
A
week
of the season,
mostly
on the return
game of Andre Batson, so you know the Warriors are primed for this one. With Eric Pauyo Jr. out for the year with a torn ACL (see the Weekend Warrior from September 12 for more on knee injuries), all-star Jason Tibbits will shift over to become the number one corner and try to control Batson, with Greg Bourne coming in as the second corner. Game time is 1:OO p.m. at University Stadium..
26
SPORTS
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
31, 1997
Ontherighttrack by John Lclfranco special to Imprint
D
espire not achieving the success hoped for on the scoreboard, the Waterloo Cross-Country teams came away from the inaugural OUA Championships in Windsor with agood feeling. Windsorand Wescern ran away with the first two spots, and Guelph took the bronze medal. UWO’s Guy Schultz won the IOK race in a time of31:07.9. The Waterloo men finished seventh out of 14schools, but more importantly, the team of Jeff Wilson (331~, 335%. i), Phil Demsey (3Ph, 33:39.7), Stephen Drew, Alastair Lawrence, John Lofranco, Chris Watson and Chris Payton all ran 1OK personal best times. Waterloo posted the best onethrough-five split, finishing out top five runners in 36.5 seconds. The next best was third-place Guelph’s pack in 50.38 seconds. The Warriors also had the best I7 split, of 1:35.2. The Warriors had four different top finishers in five races this year, and the entire team should be back next year, with the exception of Chris Watson, who will graduate from Civil Engineering in the spring. Of the top five Waterloo runners, only Lofranco and Drew have used up two years of
eligibility, and Jeff Wilson has only been training seriously since mid-September. The Warriors look like a strong bet to be future contenders for the OUA Crown. The Athenas, led by Lynn Coon, had a tough day, finishing 13thinthewomen’srace. Guelph’s Gryphons captured the title by a record 70 points over second-place Queen’s Gaels. Western rounded out the medals, capturing the bronze. Natalie Cote of the University of Ottawa won the individual ti tie. For Waterloo, Lynn Coon had a personal best time of 1858 and finished 27th. Ellen Schappert, Ame-Lia Tamburrini and Blanka Sharma mirrored the guys’ tight finish. Shauna Ellis, Kim Ross, Meagan Hamilton rounded out the Athena finishes. The very impressive showings from rookies Schappert, Tamburrini and Ellis bodes well for the future. Blanka Sharma and Meagan Hamilton are both seasoned veterans who should be back next season, and if Lynn Coon maintains her feverish pace, and co-captain Kim Ross can stay injury free, this team will be much improved next season. The teams would like to thank coaches John Swarbrick (men) and Jason Gregoire (women) for an outstanding :: and inspiring season.
Westmount Place, WATERLOO l l
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Val Walker
on her way to qualitjling for the CIAU Championships in the 1OOm breaststroke. photo by UW Swim Team
Swimmerstake the plunge Waterloo places second at Laurentian Tri-Meet by UW special
Swim Team to Imprint
L
ast weekend the Warriors and Athenas traveled to Sudbury to battle Laurentian and McMaster. The team swam well against two of the strongest swimming powers in the province, with the Athenas fmishing a mere three points behind Laurentian. The weekend was filled with many highlights, topped-off by Val Walker% 100 m breaststroke on Sunday. In addition to winning the event, Walker managed to qualify for the CIAU Championships quite early in the swimming season. She also led the Athenas with victories in the 50 and 200 m breaststroke events and a fourth place in the 100 m butterfly.
Other top-placing individuals included Jen Pells (second 100 m butterfly; fifth - 200 m butterfly), Courtney Mitchell (third - 100 & 200 m backstroke) and Leslie Dowson (fourth - 800 m freestyle, fifth - 400 m IM). Athenas Holly White, Lora White and Deanna Hlywka added importnat points with great swims in their respective events. In the relay events, the women’s team of Hlywka, WaIker, Pells and Dowson finished a stunning second in the 4 x 50 m freestyle, 4 x 100 and 4 x 50 m medley relays. The Warriors had some fine individual swims as well. Anthony Tham placed second in both the 100 and 200 m freestyle, fifth in the 200 m backstroke and sixth in the 100 m backstroke. Rookie Alan Lee showed that he intends
to be the team’s top backstroker for years to come with second, third and fourth place finishes in the 50, 100 and 200 m breaststroke disciplines respectively. Ed Furs (fourth - 100 m butterfly and 200 m freestyle, fifth - 200 m butterfly), Ian Washbrook (fourth - 50 m freestyle, sixth 100 m freestyle) and Nenad Minic (fifth 1500 m freestyle, sixth 400 m freestyle) ranked respectably against the fierce competition. The team could not have donewithoutthecontributionsof superstar James Ryans plus other point-scorers Andrew Moffat, Craig Wills, H, J. Rohmann, Allan Nagy, Dave Zeldin and Adrian Mendes. On Hallowe’en, UW competes against Laurier and Guelph at WLU, then travel to Toronto to duel York on Saturday.
QuoththeAthenas 66Nevermor Waterloo defence shuts clown Carleton Ravensin second half of 32-noint victory
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1
by Brien 0. Kerry special to Imprint
A
fter a somewhat dismal season last year, it was unclear as to whether the basketball Athenas would be able to rebound and put together a playoff-ready team for the 97-98 season. If Sunday’s 64-32 win over Carleton is any indicator, the team is well on their way. Both teams started out sluggishly in the first half with turnovers and fouls abounding on both sides. After ten minutes of play the score stood at 14-13 for the Carleton Ravens. The Athena offence was supported solely in the last ten minutes by third year guard Jodi
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Hawley and fourth year post player Jacalyn White, who combined scored seventeen points to close out the half. The Ravens managed to keep pace, however, leaving the score 30-24 in Waterloo’s favor at the end of the half. A rejuvenated and hungry
ATHENAS 64, Carleton 32
BASKETBALL Athena team hit the floor in the second half. All the Athenas brought their defense up to the next level, holding the Carleton team to just eight points for the rest of the game. The Athenas
also managed to bring their offense to bear, scoring thirty-four points before the final buzzer. Unlike last years team which tended to run out of gas by the final buzzer, this Athena team tends to get stronger as the game progresses. An increase in the number of available substitutes coupled with the floor leadership of guards Hawley and MaryFrancis Lapthorne will definitely make this Athena team playoff worthy. Although the team is looking rather green (seven of the fifteen players are rookies) the experience of third year players Hawley and Adrian Cillis and fourth year players Lapthorne and White should provide all the leadership needed for a successful season.
IMPRINT,
find a silver lining
Athenas by
Charlotte special
Morrison
to Imprint
L
ast weekend was the first ever OUA field hockey championships, hosted by Carleton University. At 230 p.m. on Friday, Waterloo took to the turf to meet their first challenge, the Carleton Ravens. This was Carleton’s first trip to the league finals, and they played their best game of the season in front of the home crowd. It wasn’t enough to stop the talented Waterloo squad. Carleton held Waterloo scoreless for fifteen minutes when a short corner was called against them. Waterloo’s somewhat injured penalty squad set up. The play called was a shot from Samana Berger to Lucie Charron’s stick. Berger got the ball away quickly to Charron, who put the ball up in the net for her sixth goal of the season. The second goal of the game also came on a penalty corner. With seven minutes left in the game, all-star Joanne Fernandes pulled out a fast accurate ball which was stopped quickly by Amy Adair. Fernandes stepped into the play to receive a beautiful pass from Berger. At this point, Coach Creelman pulled her injured players in order to rest them up
for the next match against the secondplace Western Mustangs. With a bench as deep and talented as Waterloo’s, they had no problem maintaining the lead and continued to pressure Carleton for the full seven minutes. Veteran Laurie Good, who missed several games this season with a severely pulled hamstring, initiated several scoring opportunities and played flawless defense throughout the game. Trainer Sara Brien was also kept very busy this weekend, as by the conclusion of the tournament she had nine injured players to contend with. Friday evening, the team attended the
fourth-place RMC rugby team came to Columbia Fields last Saturday to challenge the first-place Warriors. In the first half, the Warriors’ play was sluggish and they narrowly routed RMC in the many chances they had to cross the try-line, leaving the game scoreless at the half.
1
OUA field hockey awards banquet and four Athenas - Joanne Fernandes, Sara Creighton, Amy Adair and Bernice Willemse - were named to the All-Star team. On Saturday, Waterloo met Western, as they continued their march to gold. The Mustangs had defeated the Athenas early in the season, but the Athenas had handily
At one point before halftime, a Redmen intercepted the ball on a Waterloo play at mid-field and started running to score. At twenty metres out it seemed an RMC try was certain but -deus ex mac/rina - the hand of god reached down, the runner stumbled and tripped over his own feet. Dustin Hunt finished the job taking
by @an ChewWing
the man to ground and retaining the ball. Shortly after, RMC drove a maul up to the Waterloo try-line and were awarded a strum when the Warriors were called for sealing. Once again, UW barely escaped conceding a try when Jamie Heer stole the ball and halfback Cory Richards kicked the ball to touch. In the second half, the Warriors woke up to the fact that they hadn’t yet scored. Joel Doherty and Mike Lipperteach scored unanswered tries in the corner, with Dale Finlay scoring two tries but no converts as all of his kicks missed. Dustin Hunt scored the final try and had time to run it closer to the posts to give Dale an easier time kicking the successful convert. This game ended with the Warriors winning 27-O and advancing to the final. In most of the games this season, the Warriors have started out slowly and have waited until the second half to start playing the game; something they can’t afford to do against the Ravens in tomorrow’s final at 1 p.m. on Columbia Fields.
WARRIORS 27,Redmen0 OUARUGBYSEMIFINALS back
Fernandes, who was all alone with a frightened Western goalie. Fernandes roofed the ball over a defeated goalie, but there was still another thirteen minutes to go. Once again, the injured were rested and relievers Carolyn Stark and Chrissy Willemse took to the turf. Waterloo maintained the pressure until the entire forty minutes were played out. The final score was Z-0, and Waterloo was assured a position in the gold medal match. On Sunday, Waterloo had a tough fight against the top-ranked University of Toronto Blues. During the game, Dawn Culverson had one of the roughesb*toughest jobs on the turf in marking sure that Toronto’s OUA MVP, Deb Cuthbert, was shut down. Culverson was up to the challenge, eliminating Cuthbert from the play entirely. Frustration was evident on both sides as the match neared its finish. U of T was not accustomed to having to work so hard for one measly goal. But that was all it took to dash Waterloo’s golden aspirations. U of T won the goal And a slot in the CIAU’s. Waterloo earned much more than a silver medal this weekend. They earned the respect they deserve from coaches and players all across Canada. They also earned the pride associated with giving everything they had and playing successfully together as a team. Congratualations to the team and coaches for all their hard work, and we’ll see you next season.
OUAFlELDHOCKEYCHAMl'lONSHlPS
photo
FTlhe
turned the tables the week during their last encounter, two weeks prior to the tournament. Both sides were looking to come out on top of the rivalry. It was a hard fought game, with Waterloo outplaying the Mustangs in every way but failing to put the bail past the magical goal line. A frustrated Waterloo squad huddled around Coach Creelman at the half. Her words would prove to be inspirational. “You’re outplaying these guys, keep pressuring them. You’ve done everything but score. You deserve to win, so you’ve got to score. You guys can do this.” Western continued to frustrate Water-
Toronto 1, ATHENAS0
WarriorsRavageRedmen
by Ryan ChewWing Imprint staff
27
SPORTS
Friday, October 31, 1997
loo for 18 minutes when a penalty corner was called and Liz Czenczek suggested a change. “Get the ball to Creighton and let her take the shot.” Western came out hard and didn’t allow Creighton a shot, but she held the ball on her stick until the time was right. She wove her way through three Western defenders to the base line and put a shot behind the Western goal keeper. Four minutes later, Willemse (on a bad knee) rushed into the gap and sent a hard flat pass to Alison Krokosynski, who saw Fernandes inside the Western circle. Krokosynski pushed the ball ahead to
SPORTS
28
IMPRINT,
Friday, October 31, 1997
OUA All-Star as announcedthis week
Michael Schumacher comes up the big loser askertrying to run Jacques Vilfeneuve off the road, only to se hiscargiveout. www/nett.fl/-frost/f f prcs/gallery 1/ms697/jertz jpg
Villeneuvetriumphs despite cut-off attempt by Dave Imprint
Lynch staff
W Thehigh schooldown the road lovesyour Thursdu business,but we’vegot u xe/l of a lot more to offer ya this month!
HALLOWEEN BASH
NASTY COMEDY
NTGHT
1
hile it was Jacques Villenueve who actually won the Formula One World Driving Championship last weekend, most of the attention has been focused on how Michael Schumacher lost it. When he slammed his Ferrari into Villeneuve’s WilliamsRenault, Schumacher dredged up a part of Formula One that has been largely dormant since, well, the last time he crashed into someone while trying to win the championship. Now, for the first time ever, there is talk of a harsh penalty a possible $2 million in fines, multiple race suspension for 1998, or worse. A hearing in front of the FIA, Formula One’s major governing body, will determine Schumacher’s fate on November 11. In his defense, Schumacher is claiming, among other things, that Villeneuve braked too late and would have run off the track had
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events would put it on par with the other pay-per-view staples boxing and professional wrestling. But of course, Formula One is generally seen to be too classy and aristocratic to stoop to such low levels ofsportsmanship (even though it already has); hence the talk of serious penalties and repairing the sport’s credibility. Credibility will mean money down the line. And money, unlike sportsmanship, is a language that Formula One understands all too well. Regardless of the motivation, a harsh penalty for dangerous driving would be a welcome change. It gets difficult to take the constant safety improvements arising from the two deaths in 1994 seriouslywhen drivers are encouraged to win championships by hitting each other under breaking following a 830 km/h straigh taway. One hopes that for the sake of the drivers this practice stops. Otherwise, more drivers will drive themselves six feet under.
w arnors squashopposition
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by Kwin Watson special to Imprint
Every
he not bumped into him. Says a puzzled Schumacher, “It was clearly about winning it all or nothing and there was nothing more to lose, Without me, Jacques would have more or less driven into the gravel pit. That’s why I don’t quite understand the situation now.” Given the evidence and the fact that Villeneuve did not thank him for his help, Schumacher looks to be in trouble. If the penalties do come, it will be none too soon. In recent memory, drivers colliding to decide the championship has become quite common. In fact, Schumacher, Alain Prost and Ayrton Senna have all won championships due to end of season collisions. But why (should they come) the sudden shift towards real penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct? WeIl, B ernie Ecclestone, Formula One’s boss, has visions of taking the whole enterprise public, raising up to $4 billion, and bringing it to homes via payper-view television. Recent
he Warrior Squash team was in London this past weekend to play in their frrst tournament of the season. This was the First Western Conference Championship of the season, with teams from Brock, McMaster, Waterloo and Western participating. Waterloo’s team has been working extremely hard under the careful scrutiny of Clive Porter, their coach and long-time supporter. Luke Fraser, the number one seed for Waterloo, showed his presence despite a recurring knee injury that has hindered his performance recently. Fraser breezed by his opponents from Brock and
McMaster with 3-O wins. Though he fought hard against his Western opponent, Fraser lost 3-l. Playing number two for the Warriors was rookie sensation Sheldon Zimmerman. This was his first tournament representing the University of Waterloo, but Zimmerman proved his value to the team, winning all of his matches. Brian Chin, a veteran of the team, played number three. He won his matches against Brock and McMaster, but was upset by the Western number three. Matt Arkett filled the number four spot for Waterloo. Arkett joined the team late in training after his season with the Warrior Soccer team. This late arrival did notshow any notion that he had
only been with the team for two weeks this fall. Arkett won all three of his matches this weekend, with the toughest one against Western that ended in a 10-9 win in the fifth game. Playing at numbers five and six are fourth-year students Kevin Watson and exchange student Andrew Ward. Both succumbed to Western, but were able to defeat both Brock and McMaster. When the weekend was over, the Warriors had defeated Brock and McMaster, 6-O in matches and 18-l in games. Unfortunately, the team was defeated by Western 4-2, but showed some great promise for the future. The next tournament for the Warriors is at home on November 14 and 15.
Trick
or Treat,
Smell My Feet f In keeping with the Hallow&en spirit, Campus Recreation is offering some spooky fitness classes to work off all the Hallowe’en candy calories. This Saturday, November 1, come dressed to impress for Spooky Splash (aka Aquafit) and Spooky Hi-Lo (aka Hi-Lo Cardio). Participants are invited to come dressed in Hallowe’en colours orange and black - to work up a sweat (now you can finally wear that neon orange thong!) Spooky Splash wiI1 be from 9:30-10:30a.m. at the PAC pool with Dahlia, and Spooky Hi-Lo will be in Studio 2 from 10:00-l 1:CNIa.m. with Jessica. Each class costs $1.00 and you can pick up tickets from the equipment desk. Hope to. see you out there!
A
Knight
Skis,
beverages available for consumption (translation: free pizza and pop). This is also a great opportunity to get to know some of your fellow skiers. The cost to join is a mere $35 if you sign up early (regularIy $40). The moral of the story: get there early, sign up and we’11 see ya on the slopes!
Leaders of the Week
to Remember
Want a Knight to remember? Well, we all can’t have what we want, but at least you can enter in the Black Knight Squash Tournament. The entry deadIine for the tournament is Tuesday November 11 at 4:30 p.m. You can sign up at the Athletics Office (PAC 2039) for the low, low price of $10. The actual event will be held on the weekend of November 15-16. Now for the good stuff: you are guaranteed to play two games and everyone gets a free Tshirt. Sounds good, but wait, there’s more. There are over 50 draw prizes and one draw for a free Black Knight Racquetofyourchoice! Speakingofracquets, BlackKnight demo racquets will be supplied. What more can you ask for? Make sure you sign up for this event and just maybe, it’ll be a Knight to remember. Snow,
down brilliant white mounds of snow. Joining the UW Ski Club not only puts you in the company of fellow snowlovers, but also entitles you to discounts, activities, and other Ski Club stuff. You can sign up on November 5 at 5:30p.m. in Fed Hall. There are mouth-watering foodstuffs and sparkling
and Other
Stiff
Skiers, boarders, and snowbunnies alike - mark November 5 off on your calendar because it’s the Ski Club’s Organizational Meeting. With win&r around the way, what better way to enjoy the weather than shushing
Holly Oakes
Tova Fisher
Holly is an AHS student who is currently a Campus Recreation convener for soccer. This is Holly’s first term working in Campus Recreation and she has done an excellent job convening the soccer league. She has been very diligent in her duties as convener for the Znd largest competitive league in CR, ensuring that everyone is satisfied. Holly is an ideal member ofCampus Ret staff, always positive and enthusiastic in all her undertaking. She has been consistent all term and has made a commitment to making sure that the job gets done.
The Cambridge native is a newcomer to the Campus Ret staff but she has already made her mark as a convener for basketball. Being the convener for the biggest league in CR, Tova has met her duties as convener head on. From day one, she has been super organized and on top of everything. From scheduling, to standings, to web pages, to trading deadline follow ups, she has got everything under control. In her first term as convener, Tova has learned everything and has had a very good term. We expect great things from her in the future.
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SPORTS
IMPRINT,
Friday, October 31, 1997
Athletes of the week Amy Adair AthenaFieldHockey OUA Finals ac Nepean Oct. 24
York
3 Guelph
0
Waterloo
2 Carteton 0
25
Toronto
2 York
1
W&
2wstsrr
0
26
Consoiation Final GuelDh 2 Carleton 1 Bronze Medal Game I
York
Far East GPW LT F ATP Ottawa 2 2 0 014 4 4 McGill 220oro 4 4 UQTR 2 1 0 1 14 3 3 Concordia 2020 811 0 MIDEASTGPW LT F ATP Guelph 2 1 0 1 8 6 3 Toronto 2110 616 2 Queen’s 2 0 2 0 5 9 0 RMC 2 0 2 0 315 0
2 Western 0 MIDWESTGPW L T Western 2200 Windsor 2200 Waterloo 2 1 0 1 Laurier 2 1 1 0
F ATP 1124 12 5 4 5 4 3 9 8 2
ATP
FAR WESTGPW L T 2 1 1 0 Ryerson Brock 2011 York 2 1 0 1 Laurentian 2 1 1 0
F ATP 7 7 2 5 7 1 5 4 3 9 8 2
1
I WA
OUA Semi-Finals Division I Oct. 25 Western 25 Cuelph Queen’s 12 M&laster Division II Waterloo 27 RMC Carleton 20 Toronto
7 5 0 3
WOMEN
Oct. 25 McMaseer 14Queen’s Guelph 24 Western
0 19
MEN
TEAM
GPWLT
F
Western
8
6 1 1 250 146 13
Wd York
8 8
6 2 0 231 91 12 6 2 0 209 129 12
Guelph Laurier
8 8
6 2 0 207 117 12 3 5 0 174 212 6
McMaster
8
2 5 1 151 249 5
Toronto Windsor
8 8
2 6 0 112 220 4 0 8 0 100 270 0
McMaster 35 Western
35
Toronto York
13 18
22 Windsor 28 Laurier
1. Sr Francis Xavier X-Men 2. Western Mustangs 3. wmRLmwARRIoRs 4. York Yeomen 5. Ottawa Gee Gees 6. Saskatchewan Huskies 7. Calgary Dinosaurs 8. Windsor Lancers 9. Dalhousie Tigers 10. UBC Thunderbirds
OUA Semi-Finals
0
Chamoionshio Game
A third-year Science student, Adair led UW to a strong second-place finish at the OUA championships in Nepean this weekend. Adair played tremendous two-way hockey as Waterloo defeated Carleton and Western by 2-O scores before falling 1-O to Toronto in the finals. Adair was named an OUA all-star and will be named a first-team All-Canadian for the third straight year later this week.
MEN
MEN
Ocr 22 Laurier 23 Western Waterloo 24 Guelph Windsor Ottawa 25 Guelph McGill Ottawa Waterloo Western Toronto 26 UQTR McGill Windsor
4 4 2 6 6 5 2 4 9 3 7 5 12 6 6
Brock York Ryerson Concordia Laurentian Queen’s UQTR Queen’s RMC Brock Laurentian Concordia Toronto RMC York
2 2 1 4 2 4 2 1 0 3 0 4 1 3 3
OUA Divisional Semi-Finals Oct. 25 York Laurier Oct. 26 Toronto Western
1 Queen’s 2 McMaster 2 Laurentian 4 Windsor
0 1 0 0
Manitoba Alberta Saskatchewan (tie)British Columbia McGill 6. Lava1 7. Western Ontario 8. Regina 9. Montreal 10. Winnipeg
WOMEN OUA Finals Ckc. 24 Ottawa Queen’s Carleton McMaster Oct. 25 Ottawa M&laster
2 Brock 2 Guelph I Western 4 York 2 Queen’s 1 Carleton
0 1 0 2 0 0
Oct. 26 Bronze Medal Queen’s 2 Carleton Championship Game OaaWa 1 M&laster
1 0
1. 2. 3, 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Alberta Winnipeg British Columbia Shecbrooke Dalhousie Saskatchewa Toronto Western Ontario Manitoba Calgary
Sheldon Zimmerman Warrior Squash In his first squash sectional at the university level, Zimmerman won all of his matches on the weekend, propelling UW to a secondplace finish in the West sectional. A first-year Engineering student from Toronto, Zimmerman played as UW’s number two seed and defeated counterparts from Brock (3-O), &Master (3-O) and Western (3-Z).
Chillin’ and illidwith Run DMC F&abrr Saturday,
k&d
October
by Jonathan Imprint
25,1997
Evans staff
B
reak out the track suits, gold chains, and Adidas, suckafoos-the Kings of Rap are back, and Raisin’ Hell once again. The bass ran heavy at Fed Hall Saturday night with a return to the Old School, featuring Run DMC, one of the formative and most influential groups in rap music. Fans Iooking to relive a part of their musical youth were not disappointed, as Run DMC spent the evening kickin’ out the jams, spinning old-style tracks from days of yore. Jam-Master J, the group’s DJ excraordinaire, was the first appear on stage, warming rhe rurntables and the crowd with a little free-style. DMC hopped on next, followed by his partner-in-rhyme, Run. The group didn’t look any worse for wear, with black hats and white Adidas sneakers still intact. After introducing themselves and greeting the crowd with the usual pleasantries, Run announced the group’s intent to “rock the house.” This was an
Old-School jam and Run DMC v wasn’t about to disappoint. With that said, the show was off. “Run’s House,” from the 1988 album Toac&~ r/ran h&&q got the ball rolling and the crowd &akin’. True to form, Run and DMC (aka Darryl McDaniels) took turns bustin’ out the lyrics and slayin’ sucka MCs, with J providing the beats for the rhyme. Everyone knows it’s tricky to rock a rhyme, especially one that’s right on time, but Run DMC make it seem exceedingly easy. Run and crew hammered out each offering with the same high intensity, taking time in between each song to talk to their fans and set the hand waves in motion before moving on to rhe next. Their hard work was highly appreciated by the audience, who seemed to grow more and more turbid with each rhyme. About halfway through the set, DMC tookoffoneofhis shoes and displayed it for the crowd while Run introduced the much anticipated cut from Raikz’ He/Z, “My#Mdas.” .Ttis tgtik was met with e&n greater fervor than before, and was cerrainly one of the highpoints of the show, Other notable tracks from Raisin’ HeZl played that night included “Peter Piper, ” “It’s Tricky,” and the
ever-popular “Walk this Way.” “Mary Mary” and “Down with the King” rounded out an already phenomenal sec. Time has apparently not affected RUN-DMC’s stage presence one bit. Too many so-called bands nowadays are content to shuffle up on stage and stand motionless while rhey play their set, making no attempt toget their audience involved in the show. Thankfully, the same cannot be said of Run DMC. Run and DMC, despite the small stage, were all over the place, high-fiving the audience, standing on the speakers, and sharing the mike with fans throughout the course of the evening. The crowd responded in kind with rampant hand-waving and “ho”ing, the likes of which haven’t been seen this side of 1988. The show had a very positive vibe overall, with both the audience and the group enjoying themselves tremendously. By the end, everyone knew exactly whose house ir was. As the show wound down, the group thanked the crowd for their love and support. They also answered the oft-asked quescion“Is there gonna be another album?” with a resounding “Hell yeah!”
the kings
Stylin’ and struttin on stage with Run. He hasn’t been doing too much running lately, however, as you can tell by the protruding gut. photo by Scott Preston
Love songs by the unaeraog T
Tanya
Donelly
w/ Lockout
Pill
ib Horxshe TOctober
25, 1997
by Lisa Johnson Imprint staff
I
t was a little surprising that the opener for Tanya Donelly was Knockout Pill when advertising for the concert stipulated that ir would be Flux. However, it was a pleasant: surprise. Knockout Pill is a great Canadian band that: is making a name for itself while winning over fans with its quirky, surreal, guitar-driven rock songs. The band was enthusiastic and in fine form. Unfortunately due to time constraints their set had to be cut short, so three songs of the fifteen on their play list had to be omitted. Lead singer Shannon Fitzgerald introduced the song “Galaxy Craze” from their al bum Can I Open the Big Present Fire? Being a big X-F&s fan, she inquired as to whether Mulder will really be dead in the season premier. When a particularly vocal member of the audience -me yelled out that Scully had prob-
E flat,
D, C sharp. . *damn, what was that next chord?
ably lied when she identified the dead body as Mulder’s, Shannon’s glee could not be contained. This was reflected in the song ad throughout the rest of the set. &s one of Knockout PiH’s songs ‘declares: “Everybody loves a TX show!” Previous to this show at the Horseshoe, the name Tanya Donelly was synonymous with great singing, songwriting, and guitar playing. Not to mention being an established name in the “industry” as the creative force behind such bands as Throwing Muses, The Breeders, and Belly. Now, however, the name epitomizes professionalism and commitment as weil. Not being one to let her fans down, Tanya Donelly actually took the stage this night with a full-blown case of pneumonia. While singing, she would turn her head away from the microphone and cough in between lines. This did not impede her ability to perform her fifteen song ser: with unflinching and crystal-clear vocals. The set opened with Dotielly accompanied by a lap steel guitar for the haunting “Restless.” She was joined by her band (includ-
ing an accordion on one selection) for the rest of the set and continued to capture and mesmerize the audience with her hypnotic songs. Nine of the fifteen songs were taken from her latest solo album, Love Songs for Um’kdugs. She ended the set with an incredible cover of the Zombies’ “Time of the Season.” Tanya came out for a two song encore, introducing the first of the two by saying: “I’m going to do something a little corny now,” The crowd anticipated what was coming and was not disappointed. Tanya proceeded to perform a stripped-down version of “Feed the Tree” off the album Sk~r, from her days as Belly’s frontwoman. Her illuminating smile revealed her genuine delight at the fact chat the entire audience was singing along with her. Only one question remains after this concert: if this is what kind of show she puts on when she has pneumonia, what would it be like when she’s healthy?
32
&RTS.I .
.
UMPRINT,
r”
_
, --5I . j
Friday,
October
31, 1997
I
A letter .to the editor x Just one dthe many tie&get every week
A
lthough it is frustrating to be in the midst of alt-rock lone bands, bubblegum pop-stars and tiresome dance music, have faith! I have a feeling that within the next one to two years music will turn towards its more serious side. How do I know? Let’s look at the late 80’s and early 90’s, remember New Kids on the Block?OrhowaboutPaulaAbdul, Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, Milli Vanifli or MC Hammer? These were the popular bands then (God knows why!!!) But then remember when Nirvana suddenly appeared and kicked these guys off the charts and changed music forever? Nirvana proved that music could be popular and stiff retain meaning. And although grunge has died (sad sigh) and pop music has once again reared its ugly head (thank-you very much Spice Girls, Hanson and Backstreet Boys), it is only a matter of time before music changes gears again. Music, like history goes through its share of cycles, ups and downs, In previous articles critiquing music, the author mentioned all the obviouscrappy bands like No Doubt, Hanson, Bush etc., but failed to name any good bands. There are a few good musicians out there believe it or not, who
care about writing thoughtful lyrics, composing a decent melody, and pushing music along its creative path. The Smashing Pumpkin ’ s Mellon Collie and the InJinitt? Sadness is a perfect example of the melding of popular and artistic elements of music. There are other musicians like NIN, Ron Sexsmith, Leonard Cohen, Tori Amos and Radiohead (OK Computer is the best album of ‘97! ) who are producing decent music as well. My point: stop complaining; about the crappy bands and start promoting music that should be listened to! Next time an article is written about music, mention a band that you actually like instead of just whining about it like a typical Gen-Xer! So to conclude I say to everyone relax, music will eventually pull itself out of its stagnant state, in the meantime mention a band or two that you enjoy listening to in future articles about music. -D. Vongprachanh 1A Arts
In this letter, you mention that The Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, Ron Sexsmith, Leonard Cohen, and Tori Amos
are pushing music along its creative path. Since when has Ron Sexsmith or Leonard Cohen written anything new and creative? Nine Inch Nails? I don’t hear anything but regurgitated efectrometal here. Not one band that you mentioned here is fess than five years old, These may be good bands, (or artists), but they aren’t RECENT. What I was trying to get across in my article is that most RECENT bands are pretty much making throw-away music. (Talk Show, Collective Soul and Dishwalla are just a few of the fartoo-many.) The point of the article was not to preach all of the bands that are making good music, because what I consider to be good may.be considered garbage by someone else. Music is in fact, quite subjective. The commentary was not for me to preach what I listen to, that’s not what the article was trying to get across. That stuff is left to the best of ‘97 music poll.
Les Claypool, with one of his fifty bass guitars that he has totally revolutionized playing. www.Primus.com
PS- I’m too young to be classified as “Generation X.” I missed it by one year, thank God! I haven’t moved back in with my parents, yet. Give me a couple of years after I graduate from my four years here,)
Les is more Shake hands with beef! Primus
unday night’s show at the Warehouse was sold out, and for good reason. Primus have obviously procured a substantial following in the greater Toronto area, most of which seemed to be underagers though. The fenced off bar areas were the least crowded places to stand and watch. For thdse moshing underagers, Finger 11 surely satisfied. With lots of hair flinging and grungy guitars, Finger 11 drawled through their new and improved image. But then again, what Primus fan is truly happy with their opening act? Primus took the stage at 1Opm and played a full hour and a half set with one encore, never playing their, dare I say mainstream?, hit “Shake Hands With Beef.” I’ve seen Primus three times pre-
relying heavily on their latest release, ?,4eBrown album, like many bands havea tendency to do. What so often impresses me about a Primus show is the amount of talent that can be collected on a single stage. The newest member of the band, drummer Brian Mantia (a.k.a. Brain) far exceeded my cynical expectations with a steliar performance and a terrific drum solo to boot. No wounded knees here but Brain holds his own to Primus drummers of the past. Larry LaLonde (a.k.a. Ler) soared above the entire proceedings with his innovative takes on many Primus classics. Several amazing solos proved Ler one of today’s premiere, yet underrated and overlookedguitarists.Les Claypool a.k.a Les was, as always, spectacular. I don’t know of any other musician who can handle so competently and completely a six string fretless bass, and with such panache. Primus classic “Tommy the Cat” was probably the most notable song of the night with the song segmented for solos by both Brain and Les, Wielding his most
viously
ordinary
w/ Finger
11
The Warehouse October 26, 1997 by
Chris Edgintun Imprint
St&f
S
> . ‘ . I . ,
/
, I , , .
.
.
.
.
* . * 1
>
*
and each time
they
put on
a terrific show. No bells and whistles, no fancy light show, and certainly no hair flinging, Primus consistently give the audience their money’s worth. With five albums under their belt, Primus played a good vari.ety of both old and new music,not
axe, a four
string
fretted
bass, Les pounded our the most amazing solo I’ve ever heard. Once again Primus has proven themselves as a band that defies the mainstream. lt is music that is needs to be seen and heard, rather than just heard, in order to
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
31, 1997
ARTS
33
-.,
Drugs, in my pocket Prescription
for Mayhem
EL Steven Mohnarke striking Impressions,22Opp, $28.95 by Mark Imprint
H
Besz Staff
ere’s a quick survey - who legalized? wants drugs We’re not talking about just marijuana, but ALL drugs. Valium, heroin, morphine, crack, quaaludes, and whatever else that requires a prescription or an illegal connection. Next question: If they gave you the power to make and change the laws, with the only requirement being for the laws to “fix our country,” what would you do? That’s exactly what happens inP~~~$&furMu@~, by B.Steven Mohnarke. The story follows the lives of fifteen people in the U.S. through the years 2027 to 2028, They range from a postal worker to a plumber to a member of Congress. Within those years, a group called the Guidance and Direction Committee is formed, They are given the power to make laws by themselves, without requiring a vote from Congress or the Senate. Their purpose is to solve the problems facing America anyway they see fit. The group of five congresspersons begin to make laws. Their job is to strengthen the economy, educate the children, stimulate industry, make the streets safe for everyone and get rid of the drug problem. The answers they come up with are simple and effective (an eye-foran-eye personal safety law, a drug legalization law, etc.), but incredibly radical and almost instantly change America and its people forever. Mohnarke realizes that the topic of drug legalization is not exactly the easiest to discuss, so he makes sure he shows how it could be and why it needs to be done. Yet, the making of the Guidance and Direction Committee at the beginning is the hardest pill to swallow in the whofe book. It would require the Congress, Senate, and Supreme Court members to all agree a) that they failed the country; and b) to give
all their power to a small group of people not picked by them to do their jobs. Politicians don’t admit to anything, let alone failing to do their jobs. Once past that detail , believing everything else that happens later is easy - the laws that are made, the unsuccessful fights against them, and the chaos over the legalization of drugs. PT~SO-$O&J makes the argument that America could deal with the responsibility of drugs, but only after a heavy loss of life. Mohnarke’s belief is, to quote Dennis Miller, “Nature has a way of thinning the herd.” The book follows the characters through this roller coaster ride of a rapidlychanging world and how each person deals with it. Some embrace the freedom, while others oppose it, and many don’t really care until the consequences begin to hit home. About three-quarters of the way through the book, P?zwn$tion begins to have deep attachments to Christianity. In fact, most of the characters somehow turn to Christianity during this revolution. This reveals the second hitch to this book Mohnarke cannot separate his religion from his book. Although it isn’t a major theme, its use alienates his non-Christian readers with constant references to a chaplain, the church, and the Bible. Though he may not have intended it, the book started to become propaganda for a return to Jesus, with all the non-believers dying from overdoses in the streets. Overall, Mohnarke has written a very good argument for drug legalization, and succeeds in convincing the reader that the solutions he came up with may not be the only ones, but would at least be successful means to the required end. The book itself is very well written and takes the reader along through the maelstrom of freedom running through at 160 km/h, making sure everyone gets run over. Yes, you may not agree with the arguments, or the reasons, or the Christian view, but no matter what Mohnarke has accomplished his task in writing the book: he made you think about it, which is all he really wants from you.
Blues Explosion! House Centre
of Blues in the Square,
November
27,1997
T
he House of Blues is coming to the Ki tc hener-Waterloo area on November 27, bringing such Blues greats as Alvin Youngblood, Robert Jr. tockwood (the last living connection to Blues legend Robert Johnson), Charlie
proud
to present
an evening
bridge, Massachusetts in N it was the spark that ignit “Blues explosion.” (Not t with the Jon Spencer Blue
show,) the House of Blues have opened up in New Orleans, Hollywood, and New York. Mat Rebennack, aka Dr. John, dropped out of school in grade eleven, and been on musical journey ever since. It has taken him from a psychedelic rocker in the sixties, to a platinum-seller in the seventies, to a jingle writer, session man and jazz traditionalist in the eighties. Charlie Musselwhite is a blues har-
hened
him up for the years
to
Y land, California. (The m Alvin and the Chiprite cartoon character of the began playing guitar seri14-even his high school garage d towards blues-based mateJimi Hendrixand the RollingStones.
haven which nurtureg live blues &?5!~llby uniquely American a& form. The brainchild of Issac Tigrett of Hard Rock Cafe For tickets, contact the Centre in the Square fame, and Blues b@her Dan Ackroyd (who box office at 578-l 570, or toll free at l-800also hosts a ndonally syndicated radio 26543977. I~ ,;: ” .
ARTS
34
We’vegot youcoming...
IMPRINT,
Friday, October 31, 1997
.,.andgoing,
And we’ll keepyou coming and going ail year with regular return departures at student discount prices. from KitcheneVVVaterlooto:
London Toronto $18 $22 Ottawa Guelph $10 $85 Sudbury $96 Belleville $46 Peterborough $40 Other discounteddestinations available. Checkwith your GreyhoundAgent. Pricedoes not inctudeG.S.T.
Surf ta www.greyhound.ca Pick-up service to Toronto at Matthews Hall, William G. Davis Centre & Engineering I Building (all on Ring Road). Drop-off service also available. mRAMEL~
G
University Shops Plaza 170 University Avenue W.
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15 CharlesStreetWest 74112600
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Dropin to our Main Office at 268 Phillip- St. or CALL:
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U
2022: A crap odyssey by Greg and Scot-t Imprint renegades
B
een to the movies much in the last few years? Noticed that a lot of the movies coming out recently are at least loosely based on television shows from the sixties and seventies? Feature films such as Ge~lge ofthe Jung&, Leuve it TVBetzver, i&Hale’s Naery, Sg. Bilko, the Fhtstunes, the adorable Brady Bunt/r films and upcoming fare such as the Ivm Avmger-s, Rocky andBulimink/e and the inevitable Gilligan ‘s Island. Sounds kind of sad doesn’t it? A lot of critics have been decrying these remakes as a sign that Hollywood-scriptwriters have run out of fresh ideas, and with recycling all the rage, it seems only natural to recycle old ideas and scripts. If you find the current situation terrifying, you haven’t even hit the tip of the iceberg, Travel with us now as we jump forward twenty five years into the future, to the year 2022, and see what’s playing at the googolplex nearest you. Assuming of course, the aliens don’t eliminate all forms of entertainment after they enslave us, but we digress. With the quality television programming that has plagued our fragile earth for the past fifteen years, the movies can only get better. Just imagine all of the qualitychildhood memoriesyoucould relive! It’s ALF, and now he’s allowed to eat cats, and anything else that he wants, including babies,butonlytheuglyones.Pissed
Date
off with being confined to the Tanner’s laundry room, ALF comes off a hunger strike, reigning terror with fork in hand. Remember, this will be the future, where shows like South Park and Beavis and Butt-head have paved the way for more violent children’s fare. Baywatch will probably be a hot property, assuming it does go off the air in the next 25 years. After all, who hasn’t spent a Saturday night at home, alone, ogling
THE MOWE Yasmine Bleeth, cold beer in one hand, warm Oktoberfest sausage in the other? Since today’s movies are based on the limited comedy of the 196Os, translating today’s even less complex humour for a more advanced civilization will be quite easy. A movie version of SiIver Spoons would still fill you with anger towards that spoiled little shit Rickey Schroeder and all his wonderful toys. Remember
Webster? Ideally, Emmanuel Lewis will still be able to play the part. George and Ma’am will probably be dead by then, but that didn’t really matter in the past, did it? Speaking of midgets (did 1 say midget?!) What about the wonderful Gary Coleman inDz~fz~f&-0~tz~? Todd Brydges and Dana Plato will be playing their new roles of prison sluts, and Arnold is left dealing crack to raise money for bad.
Just think of it. A whole new generation of people can share in the wonderful experiences of the Seavers, but this time, it is revealed that Mike was actually gay, and his many girlfriend flings were just a cover-up. Of course, they can’t all be winners. With the great movies we’ve already suggested will come along a few losers. Like, for example. Wlro ‘s the Boss? “Ah-oh, oh-eh, Angeler, this ain’t no good.” Or, Family Ties, with it’s heartfelt messages about Reaganomics. Sure it would be outdated in the twenty-first century, but I’m sure by then there will be another self-serving Republican to lampoon. With Nick, starring in his new role as. . *wait a minute, what the hell happened to that guy anyway? Two words: Cumusuur 3. We could go on and on about the potentially bad movies based on Sarurday Niglrt Live sketches, since it doesn’t appear that that bastard is ever going to die. You’re probably bored and want to read some New Revs by now, so who’s stopping you?
Artist
Venue
November 4
Centre in the Square
Penn and Teller
November 7
Federation Hail
Spirit of the West
November 18
The Opera House
The Cramps
November 20
The Guvernment
KMFDM
November 28
The Guvemment
The Sundays
November 28
The Warehouse
Great Sig Sea
byl~kelei%
IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
31, 1997
ARTS
35
Do not pick the flowers The Secret
Garden
Waterloo
Stage Theatre Company dira&by&ubn Lkwis by Katie Imprint
Ricks staff
T
he Secret Garden, The Waterloo Stage Theatre Company’s third production, is a musical and an ambitious undertaking. Workingwith a large cast and a relatively small stage, the director has achieved a very professional and enjoyable version of Frances Hodgson Burnett’s well-known and wellloved children’s story. For anyone unfamiliar with the story, it follows the struggle of a young, disagreeable girl named Mary Lennox to come to terms with the secrets of her family and the possibilities within herself. After the sudden death of her parents in India, Mary is sent to England to live with her uncle, a hunchback tormented by the early death of his wife and the illness of his young son Colin. Much of the plot deals with the discoveries Mary makes in a hidden garden and in the house, despite the forbidding of the adults who surround her. Offered little to nurture her soul, Mary finds an opportunity for rebirth in the garden and in helping her relatives
to find happiness despite the memories and imagined illnesses that plague them. The finest achievement of The Waterloo Stage Theatre Company’s production is the voices of its cast, which features a number of impressive performances from KW natives. The music was pre-recorded for the production at a Kitchener studio by a miniature orchestra and creates a seamless thread throughout the play. While many of the songs are not particularly memorable, there are a few that may stay with you and help build the gloomy, tense atmosphere necessary to most of The Secret Garden. The beautiful voices of the cast are a pleasure to listen to although the acting does suffer at times. There are usually several actors on stage at the same time and, while this makes for a wonderful listening experience, the scenes often seem too crowded. The set design includes two spinning platforms, used effectively in scenes meant to convey, alternately, the distress of the actors while remembering the past, movement, and the chaos surrounding the deaths which take place in India. The platforms can make a small stage seem even smaller but they are part of an essential theme of dreams and of the in&ueace of the past on the
The Best Deals in Town!
present. The set (designed by a UW student, Eric Maki) also includes a wonderful, constructed tree with a swing hanging from one branch, and makes great use of an upper level balcony, connected to the stage by a flight of s tarrs. This production includes some actors standing close to the main players, holding silk flags, in almost every scene. These actors are playing “Dreamers” and appear to represent the presence of dreams and memories of the dead in the lives of the main characters. While the idea makes excellent use of the potential of the original story, the “Dreamers” are often distracting. Were they present in fewer scenes, or perhaps less intrusive, the idea would probably still be apparent and the audience would benefit from the simplification of the on-stageaction. T?M Secmt Garden is a creative and entertaining musical which includes many talented performers. Marisa McIntyre’s portrayal of Mary Lennox is suitably sullen and Tom Emerich gives an energetic performance as Dickon. The cast members work well together and their voices are well-worth the ticket price. 2746&crtt Gurdfvz runs from December 16 to December 2 1 at The Waterloo Stage Theatre on King Street (at Princess Street).
PENTIUM 166 MMX
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The Return of Baraka The re-release by John Ralston Saul Baraka John Ralston Saul Ihzh& 350 pp, $17.95 by Jessica Imprint
Kwik s&f
ohn Ralston Saul’s new novel, Baraka, is a moral tale where his skeptical ideas are held J lthin hiscoiourfulcharacters, but contains a plotline that is somewhat slow. Saul was at UW last year speaking at the Hagey Lecture and his insights about false individualism and the nastiness of corporatism are evident in this novel. His ideas are more concrete and accessible by showing them in characters’ actions, thoughts, and words. The characters of his novel arecontrollingand ambitious businessmen, who cannot see beyond what seems to be a perfect business venture: arms trafficking. Martin Laing, an up and coming executive in an oil corporation stumbles upon leftover American arms from the Viet Nam war and the story takes off from there. Woven between the action of deceitful dealings are Saul’s insights, easier to understand through the actions of Laing and his friend Anthony Smith who are driven and always in want of something
powerful. Saul shows us businessmen who burn with ambition, but who aren’t the cardboard cut-outs of corporate big wigs. Martin Laing, is a likable man because of his vulnerabilities, but he is estranged
from himself by the voice of reason. He wants to be the glossy image of corporate success, ahd tries to complete the arms deal with the hopes of ridding himself of the feeling of powerlessness in the Uanns of one ill-consuming corporate mother.” Saul gives us this opportunity to see a man full of doubt under the cover of corpora te savvy.
&her characters from New York boardrooms to the Moroccan deserts to the Asian trading ports are linked through the dealings of Martin Laingand Anthony Smith. The character of Anthony Smith is the guru of dealings who no longer questions his morals, “There’s no greater whore than a hungry man with knowledge for sale...Look at me.” The plotline is fragmented by the dealings and conversations that span the globe. It would seem a furious pace with a data flying into the novel at every chapter. But the novel feels rery drawn out as you wait for something to actually happen. ,,i The characters believe something is happening as promises are made and broken, but hearing about American arms being described to yet another dealer gets tiresome. Relief comes from hearing about people not involved in the web of the business, like Cosima the smart and truly independent wife of Laing; and Karim Farid, a religious wise man in Morocco who shows us a self-assured characters among the male and female prostitutes.. John Ralston Saul’s novel is a morai tale that is much more accessible than his non-fiction, but no less weighted with his insight.
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Layers of Bjork Mike special
McKay to Imprint
How does one make beautiful noise? Bjork has mastered the art of harmonizing noise, and has been a noteworthy female influence in the ever-growing field of noisology. Other musicians have certainly made more noise than Bjork, but very few musicians learn how to combine noise to make it beautiful. Homogenic is Bjork’s fourth major release, and once again she has challenged the sounds of her contemporary musicians. Musically, this album is not as catchy as her other releases, but then again many people never found her other work particularly catchy. The songstress in this case is playing seamstress and melding the old with the new. The melding leads to a unique layering effect throughout the album which is nothing less than revolutionary. Layer one - the classical symphonic arrangements; layer two - an ambient electronic journey through trip hop; layer three - her haunt-
ingly eerie voice. The end result is a chaotic blend of unearthly proportions. Bjork has always broken music boundaries and set new standards of “alternative.” Homogenic is no exception. One can’t help but notice the complexity of the album, and presumably Bjork’s bizarre intentions as a musician and modern day artist. On a musical note, the album bombards the listener’s eardrums with noise, and forces the rusted gears of the brain to churn. Bjork sends auditory reminders throughout the album by creating beautifully soft distorted noise, The music of Bjork is an alarm call to listeners everywhere to “wake up and hear her sound!” Oddly enough “Alarm Call” is a track on Homogenl’c, and is one of her finest+ Bjork combines her philosophically twisted lyrics within a snazzy techno playground. Truly an auditory experience. Bjork may not make many new fans with this album, but then again she won’t lose any either. Essentially, if you haven’t enjoyed or understood Bjork’s music before, than this is the wrong place to start. If you are already a Bjork fan then you should enjoy Hotnogtxic. Bjorkis a hunter, and we are the hunted - check out the album and you’ll understand.. *maybe.
by Justin Imprint
Kominar staff
With the launch of the Rolling Stones’ Bridges #O Babylon tour just around the corner, “Paint it Blue” is a timely infusion of Stones music released by the growing House of Blues empire. This compilatibn features several classic tracks covered by both the iegends and the “new blood” of the blues world. The CD contains 13 songs from the earlier days of the oldest living rock and roll band on earth, so you won’t be seein’ Mick’s baby here. Everyday Stones fans will be pleased to find classics like “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” (sadly without the beautiful choral intro), “Satisfaction,” “Honkey Tonk Women,” and “Beast of Burden.” Connoisseurs fear not-if you’re tired of hearing the same old singles, regardless of who’s playing them, lesser-known tracks like “Sway,” “Heart of Stone” and the “Ventilator Blues” are sure to delight. And with names the likes of Junior Wells, Otis Clay, Taj Mahal, Clarence Brown and Bobby Womack, how can you go wrong? Alvin “Youngblood” Heart is a newcomer
to the blues scene who deserves particular attention. He covers “Sway” and the soothing ballad “Moonlight Mile” like the songs were his own. His presence is a definite bonus to the collection. As for the music itself, perrenial naysayers of covering classic tunes need not worry. They all sound faithful to the original recordings from Mick and the boys. You won’t find a bunch of washed up, gritty blues voices pumping out Stones tunes with their slide guitars and harmonicas (if you’re lucky). These are energetic tracks that do nothing but enhance the legacy of the Roiling Stones. Be sure to check this out.
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IMPRINT,
Friday,
October
ARTS
31, 1997
I. p
37
ManBREAK Come and See Alma J’ound5
Reviews
written
LeAnn
Fat
s/t
You
DV8 This trio of rockers have put together an impressive self-titled release. Their hard-rock-punk with little bit of rap sound puts them in the same area as 3 11 and Finger 11 (formerly the Rainbow Butt Monkeys). Fat adds a little more pop on some tracks but it usually works. Periodic scratching from their D J is an added bonus and makes the album much stronger. The entire album is solid but “Dog,” “Never” and the very funky “What We Do” are the best three to watch for. This is a fine album from start to finish; make sure to crank it on the old hi& -DK Riki
Lonely
by Darryl Kelman, Mike Olley, Scott Preston and Klaus Steden
Light
City Cowboy DROG
s/t DGC
LeAnn, so young, and yet so shitty. Usually you have to be 40 before you have work up to this level of mediocrity. LeAnn is already there. She has arrived, killing songs from other artists left and right. I have never heard a better butchering of “Bridge over Troubled Water” in my life. This CD inspires me to listen to something else, -SP
ml A
Picken,
The Mommyheads
Rimes up my Life Curb
w
Gee
Greg
hlanBME:\K have pi: together ;i nice lirrlc pop album offuzzy riffs. keyboards and bubble gun? lyrits. ‘They have an Inspirtli Carpets-meets-TNXS type of’ sound that is just slightly above average. HighliE;hts include “Ready or Not,” “Kop Karma” and “Wasted,” which all would have been a lot cooler ten years ago. Still, if you’re into “nouveau nostalgia” this is ideal for you.
“Hey, waddaya want? I was 17 at the time,” explains Adam Cohen about the name of the band. This major label debut is actually their fifth release, full of pop-ballads and easy rock music with almost poetic spoken-word lyrics. An easy album to listen to with a natural flow, as well as some catchy melodies, lyrics and chorus lines. Put a flower in your hair and enjoy the sounds of San Francisco.
-DK
Sulk
pcmq poet and songwriter i‘rom Toronto who has received a great deal ofprdisc for his pr&ous writings and songs. If you enjoy poetry at a rocking pace, or even if you don’t, give this album a spin. For more information check out his webpage: http://www.interlog. com/4priest/. -MO
Relish
s/t Sulk
No Dice Minimum wag
I can’t really tell what type of music Sulk is. On this album, vocals drown out the guitars, now there’s a change. Alannah Myles called, and she wants her genre back.
Soul Asylum called and they want Dave Pirner back. Relish has him and they’re keeping him. Runaway train, never cuming back. . .thank god. Guitar rock. ‘Nuff said.
-MO
-SP
Department of Housing and Residences
If Riki keeps making this music much longer, he’s gonna stay lonely for a long, long time. It’s hard being a cowboy in the city, there’s just no fields to roam on. -SP
Gros&
Point
Blank
Great movie. Great soundtrack, part II. Eighties retro scuff, including the Uber-classic “Take on me” by A-ha. Plus stuff from the Pixies, Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel, Siouxsie and the Banshees and more. Unlike the first soundtrack, no Guns ‘n’ Roses. Yippee! -GP
Strangely
Dandelion
The circus of everybody’s dream ikid HL2ti.k Circus music for people who belong in the circus. Uhhhhhh. . .this sucks. The only thing that was good about this disc was it replaced one of my cracked cd cases. Yes! -KS
Thundermug Bang the Love Drum ltl?vm The Headstones suck, but they never sucked as bad as Thundermug does. Hugh Dillon can act, and now he can get played on CFNY to satisfy Can-Con regulations. Otherwise, neither band will ever be played anywhere. -SP
Columbia Lake Townhouses
Village One Single Rooms ($1231 / term) Flexible Meal Plans Internet access in selected rooms Newly renovated central complex
Single Rooms ($1051 plus hydra) Cook your own meals Free weekly grocery shuttle Free daily shuttle to campus
Visit us on the Web http:/lwww.adm.uwaterloo.ca/infohous/
-SP
ARTS
38
by Michael Imprint
read by actress Kate Nelligan. All in all, MtiscforArt Caller ies is an excellent example of what can be accomplished when creative forces from all artistic backgrounds pool their ideas and resources together, and cooperate to enhance each other’s work.
Olley
staff
Now that “electronica” has become the new commercial music medium, the world is flooded with every two-bit synth junkie out there. However, sometimes true artists separate themselves and remain true to form. One such electronic musician is Timothy Rempel of KitchenerWaterloo. The original Vernal Equinox was formed in 1986, consisting of Timothy and Steven Brenner, who makes a guest appearance on this album for the title track. Most of MusicforArtGuiZkvies was inspired by the paintings of renowned Toronto Artist Charles Pachcer, whose sombre portrait of by Klaus Steden Imprint st& John Graves Simcoe graces the cover. Some of the music related Welcome to the world of to the art enhances the experiKMFDM. This is, amazingly ence of viewing the art, accomplishing its original intent. Howenough, the eighth full-length album from a band that started ever, some songs are repetitive out making performance arc with and uninteresting. vacuum cleaners. Another intriguing composiTo those of you familiar with tion on the CD is “Cat’s Eye” any of their earlier work, this is inspired by Margaret Atwood’s pretty much the standard fare for novel of the same title about a Sascha K. and company. The Toronto artist. The song includes hard-edged disco stylings of eara spoken excerpt from the book,
Applications
for the folIowIng scholarshlps
are
being
lier aIbums like “Nihil” and “Angst” are back, which is a welcome change from the moodier and somewhat more laid-back “Xtort.” And some of the new material really does kick ass, despite not being much of anything new for them. Notable among the new material is “Stray Bullet,” the first single and “Megalomaniac,” the latter a fine example of what KM FDM does best - sing about themselves. Here’s a sample: “Nihilistic mystics, apostolic alcoholics, Messianic manics, cataclysmic and prolific. In the age of super-boredom, hype and mediocrity, celebrate relentlessness, menace to society.” Pretty deep, huh? To the old school fans, this is no new ground for KMFDM. The beats are danceable, the music is groovy, the lyrics are dumb yet catchy, and having Ogre sing on your record is always good for some points with the fans. On the whole, *%@3@# is nothing revolutionary, but definitely something fun.
accepted during the Fall term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Application forms are available in the Student Awards Office, 2nd floor, Needles Hall. All Faculties: Doreen B&bin Award - interested females entering 4th year in Spring or Fall 1998 in an Honours program in which women are currently under-represented. Deadline: APR 30/98 Don Hayes Award - for involvement & contribution to athletics and/or sports therapy. Deadline: JAN 30/ 98 Leeds-Waterloo Student Exchange Program Award - students to contact John Medley, Mechanical Engineering.
year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Managemerit, Recreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation. Deadline: MAY 28/98 Kate Kenny Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiology with an interest in rehabilitative medicine. Deadline: OCT 31/ 97RAWC0 - available to 2nd, 3rd, or 4th year Recreation and Leisure Studies. Deadline: JAN 9nlna 3uIJO Marion J. Todd Memorial Award - available to 3B Co-op Health Studies with interest in healthrelated research. Minimum 75% average reauired. Deadline: OCT 31197 Faculty of Arts: Arts Student Union Award - available to all
Mike Maser
Arts students.
Memorial
Award
- available to 3rd or
4th year based on extracurricular and financial need. Deadline: JAN 9198 Faculty of Appllsd Health Sciences: Mark Forster Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiology. Deadline: JAN 30/98 Michael Gellner Memorial Scholarship -available to 38 Kinesiofogy or Health Studies. Deadline: MAR 31198 Robert Haworth Scholarship - completion of 3rd
Deadline: OCT 31/97
Concordia Club Award - available to 3rd year Regular or 3A Co-op Germanic & Slavic. Deadlink JAN 31/98 Faculty of Engineering: Andersen Consulting Scholarship - available to 38. Deadline: MAR 31/98 Environmental Scholarship - available to 3rd year Environmental Chemical. Deadline: MAY 2W98
IMPRINT,
by Tasmina Imprint
Pate1 st&
Robert Haworth Scholarship - available to 38 Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage & Planning, Outdoor Education. Deadline: MAY 30/98 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - available to 3rd year Environment & Resource Studies, Planning, Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: MAY 31/97 Faculty of Mathematics: Andersen Consulting Scholarship - available to 38. Deadline: MAR 31/98 Bell Sygma Computer Science Award - avail-
October
by Scott Imprint
Duran Duran. A blast from the past? Not quite. Nothing on the band’s album, Mdaxaa,'and, reminds you of the sounds of new wave. That is, other than the voice of Simon LeBon. Each of the songs on the new album have a definite electronic sound. The one song which does not, “So long suicide,” seems like an Oasis song that accidently got recorded on the wrong album. But this does not make it the “greatest god damn songon the album.” Probably the best song on the album would be “Out of my mind,” the hit song from the movie T&e Suitlt. Other stand-out songs on the album are “Electric Barbarella,” “Who do you think you are?” and “Buried in the sand,” which has traces of the cultural music of India within it. Down to only three members now, Med~zmlund is Duran Duran’s tenth album. Although the album is completely different than their past releases and well, some songs near the end tend to blend together, Me~u~~lu~d is a new sound from an old band that works.
OPE Foundation Undergraduate Scholarship available to all 28 & 38 based on extracurricular and marks. Deadline: NOV 28/97 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship -available to 3B Civil, water resouToB management students. Deadline: MAY 2W90 Jack Wiseman Award- available to 38 or4A Civil. Deadline: OCT 31197 Faculty of Environmental Studies: Shelley Ellison Memorial Award - available to 3rd year Planning. Deadline: NOV 28/97 John Gsddea Memorial Award - available to ERS, Geography and Planning. Deadline: OCT31/
Friday,
31, 1997
Preston staff
Those prank-calling jokesters the Jerky Boys are back with, guess what? Another album of prank calls. This is the fourth in their series, but they just can’t capture the hilarity of their first little foray into comedy. When the first CD was released, it was funny, because no one had ever heard them before. No one really knew their schtick. Now, the joke is a little old and the comedy on this album is spotty at best. They have run out of funny ideas, just regurgitating old ones. How many times do we have to hear Frank Rizzo call a restaurant? Out of the nventyfour calls on the album, there are maybe six that are actually funny. Frank Rizzo just doesn’t have it anymore, and the only two voices that are funny are Sol Rosenberg, Tarbash and Jack Tors. Tarbash is used only once and the others are used sparingly. Considering hardly anyone knew about their last release, and they are still making records, there are probably some out there who still get a kick out of them. Will these guys ever go away? Probably not.
able to 4th year Computer Science. Deadline: OCT 31/97 Electrohome 75th Anniversary Scholarship available to 38 Computer Science. Deadline: NOV 28/97 Sun Life of Canada Award - available to 2nd year Actuarial Science. Deadline: NOV 28/97 Faculty of Science: David M. Forget Memorial Award in Geology available to 2A Earth Science, see department S.C. Johnson & Son Ltd. Environmental Scholarship - available to 3rd year Chemistry. Deadline: MAY 30/98 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - available to 3B Earth Science/Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: MAY W98
The Ret PalsProgram
ing forvdunteefs
Are YOU taking german? Would you iike swne extrai& in speaking, ieaming and practice. Price is $8.00 per hour. Please call Claudia at 576-1227. l
Has school torn you away from the one you love?Read “Loving Your LongDistance Relationship by Stephen Blake and find out how to stay in love while being apart. Only $9.99! Ask for it at your Chapters, campus bookstore, Smithbooks, Coies, or on the intemet at www.sblake.com. A possible pregnancy worrying you? Birthright offee free pregnancy tests, practical help. Cail579-3990. Lots of bargains, clothes, household articles, HADASSAH 8AZAAR, Sunday, Nov. 2 from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the King Centre, Kitchener, Upper Level.
Free shuttle bus to the Lyric Nightclub on Saturday nights. Leaving from University Plaza at lo:45 p.m., 11:40 p.m., 12:30 a.m.. Returning 1:45 a.m. and 2:lO a.m. Guftat lessons - Michael Bennett Music. All styles, 8A music, RCM affiliate teacher, KW central, beginners-advanced, day-evening classes. 576-6661. If you don’t hear us on the radio . .. hear us at www.eyerhyme.com. New progressive rock! The Lyric Nightclub in downtown Kitchener. BUS trips, Special 8V8nts and birthday patties every Saturday. We offer recession pricks, FREE conc8rts, Free VIP lounge, FREE food, FREE prizes and free acc8ss to M8trofX& Night Club, located across the street. You, your organization or choice of charitycanmakelotsofcash!Call749-2121ask for the Manager and w8 will help you organize your event.
Spring Break & New Years! Travel FREE by organizing small groups to Montreal, New Ofleans, Florida and Mexico. We also have great ski trips! Call Breakaway Tours at l-800-4654257, ext. 310 for FREE promo kit. www.br8akawaytours.coin. Relief staff to work with individuals with developmental challenges. minimum B-month Experience, commitment. Send resume to Don Mader, KW Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, S., Kitchener, Ontario, N26 3V2. Lyric Night Club needs you! A fastpaced, dynamic environment needs Security staff, Support staff and Senrice staff. Apply in person with resume Monday, Nov. 2 between 12 to 4 p.m.
LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE Prep on campus PREP! Course formats range from 20 to 80 hours. 20 hour weekend courses available for $195. Richardson - Since 1979 - www.prep.com or learn Q prep.com or l-800-41 O-prep.
Mitsubishi Diamond FS 17” monitor, $350. price negotiable, excellent condition, Cables included. Call James at 725-7417.
“Pots of Gold Starry Nights” Bible study on God’s promises to us. Come join us at 7 p.m., MC 2034. Free refreshments. Contact Sandra at 864-5897. Hosted by Chinese Christian Fellowship. Monday, November 3,1997 “Langer Day” Sikh Students Asociation (SSA) invites you to a free lunch in MultiPurpose Room, Student Life Centre. Wednesday, November 5,1997 Gay and L8sbian Liberation of Waterloo Coming Out Discussion Group. Topic: “Bisexuality: Exploring Our Feelings and Misconceptions.” 7:30 p.m. Sociaf follows at 9 p.m. PAS 3005. Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Details: 8844569. UW presents the 22nd Annual AUTUMN WATERLOO ARTS & CRAFTS EXHIBiTION AND SALE. Nov. 5.6.7 Student Life Centre. IO a.m. to 6 p.m. Thursdav. November 6.1997 KW Chamber Music Society presents Nancy Dahn, violin ; Timothy Steeves, piano. They will be performing at 8 p.m. at KWCMS Music Room, 57 Young St., W., Waterloo. Phone 886-l 673 for reservations. Sundav. November 9.1997 KW Chamber Music Society presents Nicholas Tuilliez, harp. Performance will b8 at 8 p.m. at KWCMS Music Room, 57 Young St., W., Waterloo. Phone 886-l 673 for reservations. Mondav. November IO. 1997 Mocassin Making - come out to this hands-on workshop and craft a pair of mosassins, only $30. Environmental Studies I, room 221 from 7 to IO p.m. Sign up at PAC 2010 (rental room) Tuesday, November 11,1997 . “Toyfair” come one, come all! Hildegard Marsden Co-operative Day Nursery presents the Christmas ev8nt of the year! Come and do your Christmas shopping early. Nov. 11 & 12 from 8:45 a.m. to 4145 p.m., Davis Centte, room 1301 (ICR Launaf31. UW. Wednesday, November l&1997 Holocrrust Education Lectun by d8ath camp survivor Henry M8inkk; follow8d by a slide presentation of a UW student’s trip to Poland. 7 to 9 p.m., MC 2065. Presented by the Watyerioo Jew&h Students Association.
iscunently
iook-
for wheelchair hockey
Ldsufe
Support
Servicesrec@res
vol-
unteers for exciting new track and field
work with individual students. Please Call Srigitta at 747-3314. Female vdunteera d to help a blind athlete train at a gym. No experience naeded, just enthusiasm! A helpful ‘Sighted Guide” training session will be provided. Please call Vivian 745-9345. Interested in the arts? The Waterloo Community Arts Centre has numerous volunteer opportunities available. Call 866-4577 or drop by at 25 Regina Street, South, Waterloo. if you are interested in any of the following volunteer opportunities, please contact Sue Coulter at the Vdlunteer Action Centre at 742-6610. Quote the position number at the end of th8 description when you call. Please visit the Volunt88r Action Centre’s website at: http:// www.wchat.on.ca/public/kitchener/ vatiles/vac.htm ... Board/Committee Member with a . heart: #O&2122: KW Association for Community Living are looking for interested or experienced people in financial matters, public reltions, fundraising, personnel or 8ducatiOnai issues. Distress Centre #0 11-l 76: Volunteers needed to provide confiientiat listening, support and crisis response to callers. Training is offered. Big Sister or a Retall Clerk: #007-29: Training starts Nov. 8 for women who would iike to make a differerIC in ad child’s life. Big Sisters are matched with a girl between the ages of 4-l 7 or a boy between ages of 4-l 1. You must be 20 or older. Stuffy’s Used Clothing Store needs someone who enjoys working with people. Position involves making sales, window dressing and accepting clothing. Polish Pal needed: #072-l 928: A mature Polish speaking female needed to spend 2-3 hours a week visiting a local seniorwhom speaks little Engiii. Transportation will be supplied if necessary. Share your office skllis: #036-l 362: A small agency lcbc&d in a Kitchener school is in need of reception and derical help. Flexible position with 3-4 hours a w88k during school hours. First Aid Help needed: #074-2123: Volunteers with First Aid and CPR certificates are needed to help at public events. Assistance is also needed at mall displays to increase public awareness. This is a great way to us8 your skills and training. -
ices (88&6356) Is currently recruiting for the following volunteer positions: Older Adult D&n& Festival Production -__Volunteers: __ are needed to assist in the production of a Show to showcase Older Adult Performing Arts, Positions available include Artistic Coordinator, Stage Manager, Choreographer, Technical Coordinator and more. Experience an asset. Must be willing to participate in the development of an O\d8f Performing Arts not-for-profit company. Wonders of Winter Volunteers: are needed to assist at the Christmas light festival at Waterloo Park. Positions available include: Chair of th8 Volunteer Commit@, Secretary, and Advertising. Call for other poisitions. Commhee Member: are needed for the S.A.L.T. committee which is a crime prevention program. Tasks involved may include helping with presentations and making phone calls to book presentation. Must have good communication skills. Telephone Security: one regular and one spare telephone caller are needed to phone isolated seniors. A 2.5 hour per w88k commitment is required. Program Volunteers: are needed to assist with a senior day away program. Volunteers are needed Tuesday to Friday afternoons. Le&n about a different culture white you show a new immigrant how to be a part of your community. For more info on this volunteer Position call K-W Y.M.C.A. Host Progiam at 579-9622. _. Voiunteer tutors are needed to tutor students on a one-to-one basis in written and oral English. Tutors meet students on campus, usually onc8 a week for 1-2 hours for 1 term. If you have a good working knowledge of English, are patient, friendly, dependable, and would like to volunteer, register at the international Student Office, NH 2080. For more info about the program, call ext. 2814 or e-mail darlenea watservl. Big Sisters requires female volunteers (20 years and older) to make a positive difference in a child’s life. Next training sessions commence Nov. 8197. Call 743-5206 for info/register.
team for athletes with disabilities. One evening/week for 8 weeks. Call 7412226. Waterloo Girl Guides wants 8n8r@C, enthusiastic young women to be bader’S for all ages (S-14 years), within the university vicinity. No experience needed! For info call Ann at 746-2662. Volunteers are needed to tutor students at a secondary school in Baden. This is an ideal experience for anyone wishing to get into Teacher’s College. CaH Bill Bond at 634-5441 between 8:OO am - 4:OOpm Aquatic volunteers are needed to assist adults and children with disabilities. Will adapt to your schedule. Receive free pool pass. Waterloo Swimpiex, Breithaupt Centre and Lyle Hallman Pool. call Deb 74% 2226. Volunteer sought to assist individuals with a disability at recreation programs. Be a Leisure Support Volunteer. Great for course requirements or job experience. Call Deb at 741-2226 Assist a 4 year old boy with a disability to participate in a c&t and playtime program. Saturday morning 10:00 am noon. Training and support provided. Call Deb at 7d -2226. Gain valuable work experience. Explore leisure activities with group of adults with develoomental disabilites. Friday nights 7-10im Call 743-2228 . inner City Neighbourhood Association n88ds volunteers to distribute, cojlect and analyse 60 surreys for space inventory, assist with Drop in Program for pre-schoolers/parents/caregivers, and to assist with drop in sports programs for teens. Call Mary Ann, 7442617. Prueter Public School (Union-Lancaster area) needs volunt&rs to work in classrooms or with individual students. Call Jan8 kiom8 578-0910. Boy Scouts of Canada needa you! Leader and volunt88rS are required to help run our weekly events. if you enjoyed the Scouting movement, please call Sonia at 665-4744 and help our vouna kids! Big Brothers of Kitchener-Waterloo n&s volunteers for one-to-on8 matching or group activities. Cal us today at 579-5150. Lexington Public School is looking for volunteers to help in classrooms and to
SUNDAYS Outer Club Kayaking - presented by the Outer’s Club members in PAC pool from 8 to 10 p.m. Boats, eqiuipment provided ; beginners welcome ; $3.00. Practice strokes, rolls, get wet, have fun! MONDAYS Outers Club Meetings - Environmental Studies 1, room 221 at 7 p.m. Discuss and plan outdoor adventures. Get
help with organiring and equipment (rentals available). Day trips happening every weekend. CHECK US OUT! WEDNESDAYS Come to Grace Christian Fellowship for an at cost supper, singing & Bibk study, 4:30 p.m., McKirdy Hail, St. Paut’s College. Call Tim Uyt 883-0435 WEDNESDAYS Pascal Club meets at 12-lpm in SLC 2133. A faculty, staff, & graduate stu-
dent reading club with a Christian orientation. We will be reading “the Act of Bible Reading, A multi-disciplinary Appreach to Biblical Interpretation. other faiths and undergrads also welcome. contact: Chaplain Graham E. Morley at Chaplains office SLC 2126, ext 3633 or CalI 884-1970 8Xt.2739. THURSDAYS Students Advising Co-opw88kly meetings are at 5:3O in Needles Hall, room 1029.
, QONE MlSStNG: Sandi McGiver alias the Dancing Turkey Flower has been abducted. Last year ourturtle went missing. Needless to say that we would like them returned to the Turnkey Desk, no questions asked. If at any time someone has the need to spend time with the turtle or Sandi McGiver just let us know ...we can lend our prize possessions out. Contact Nancy O’Neil at the Turnkey Desk. If you don’t hear us on the radio .. . hear us at WWW.8y8rhym8.COm. New progressive rock! Rmms in the Village Residence are available for immediate occupancy. Inquire at the Housing Office, Village I or phone 888-4567, ext. 3704 or ext. 3705 for further info on the villages. Guided self-change of alcohol us81 for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counseliiw Sefvices, ext. 2655 to find out more.Thmv~xlJ8i~urtsu~rtcen-’ tre is holding a series of6 w&i&pa on ‘hg8r: isart of the h8aling path” for
women survivors of child sexual assault. Tuesday evenings from October 28 - December 2/97. Offered in a rural location and free df charge. For more info or to resister. call 571-0121. 5th Annual “Edna Staebler Research Fellowship” competition includes a $1 ,OOO.OO research stipend. Information and application forms can be obtained by calling 742-7752. Competition closes 5 p.m. Monday, Nov. 17, 1997. Scholarship funds are available through the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America’s PROJECT: Learn MS ‘98 Essay Competition. June 5,1998 is deadline. To obtain registration form and info call 1-800-LEARN MS. Third Year abroad at Coleraine, Northern Ireland. General info m88ting for students in the Faculty of Arts at 4:30 pm in HH334. De&its from Prof. Jim Walker, HistoryDept.,3706, . ~a~ker@watafts.uuvat8Iioo.ca Canada World Youth is a nationaH, non-pmfit organization offering youth exchang8 pmgram b8tw88n the ages
of 17 & 29. We are now accepting applications for programs beginning thesummer of 1996. Deadline is Nov. 21 1997. For more info: 317 Adelaide St W, suite 404, Toronto, M5V 1P9 (416) 596-9702, Fax 595-9642, cwyQcwy.ca Queen Ekebeth Silver Jubilee Awards for Study in a Second Official Language. Several $5,000 scholarships are being offered to undergraduate students across Canada to study at another Canadian university in their second offiiial language (French or English). Candidates must be Canadian citizens or permanent residents, currently enrolled in the second or third year of their first undergraduate university program. Students must haV8 sufficient ability in their second off&l language to pursue studies in that language. Application deadIine is January 30, 1996. For further information and application forms, contact the Student Awards Office. Wat8rIooCommunityAitsC8ntr8bcatecl in the Button Factory affers classes & woficshops in Vi Arts, Dance, Music and Writing for adutts and children. Call Sss-qsnfor info, , . .
on Saturdays at 230 p.m. at the small gym of the PAC. For more info. call Charina at 746-4039.
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