1997-98_v20,n19_Imprint by Editor Imprint

If you are, you will be an owner of the official UW Final Exam Sumival Kit (FESK), Ambassador Association(SAA) and ZEHRS MARKETS.

sponsored

Final exam survival kits can be picked up at the Student Life Centre, Multi-Purpose Desk for direction if unsure.

Room. Ask at the Turnkey

PLEASE PICKUP TIMES:

BRING PERSONAL ID TIMES: Tuesday, Nov. 25, Wednesday, Nov. 26, and Thursday, 11:OO a.m. to 1:OO p.m.

by the Student

Nov. 27

Are the hmus inconvenientfor

you? Leave a message for the SAA office at the 888-4626 with name, ID, Phone # and what time is convenient for you. Adatia, Alisha Aheam, Graham Anderson, Sylvia Ang, Michael Amio, Kristin Amio, Tara Arnold, Tom Barton, Mike Berdan, Mark B hatia, Sandy Blue, Shannon Bogaart, Matt Boucher, Christina Bourdeau, Rachel Brandl, Erica S. Brown, Lindsay

Buchanan, Erin Adair Bums, Adam Calcaterra, Nikoline Clements, Koreen Clements, Owen Cochrane, Shawna Cote, Mark Cymbalisty, Lindsey &Champlain, Isalbelle Dennent, Scott DeRocher, Jason Dougherty, Sarah Duff, Leanne Duhamel, Todd A.D. Evans, Kelly Farrell, Glenda

Ferraro, Matthew Fortnum, Jennifer Foumie, Kyle Foumier, Carrie Gadsby, Ame Giles, Paula Glauser, Julie Grant, Dave Groves, Jennifer Groves, Kristopher Halayko, Jason Harris, Lori Harvey, Chris Heydom, Christina Hoar, Gina Lake, Dave

t 5 P,M.,SLC1116 IMPRINT is week/y until Nov. 28/97

Applications

for the following scholarships

are being

accepted during the Fall term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Application forms are available in the Student Awards Office, 2nd floor, Needles Hall. All Facu ities: Ooreen B&bin Award - interested females entering 4th year in Spring or Fall 1998 in an Honours program in which women are currently under-represented. Deadline: APR 30198 Don Hayes Award - for involvement & contribution to athletics and/or sports therapy. Deadline: JAN 30/ 98 Leeds-Waterloo Student Exchange Program Award - students to contact John Medley, Mechanical Engineering. Mike Moser Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year based on extracurricular and financial need. Deadline: JAN 9/98 Faculty of Applied Health Sciences: Mark Forster Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiology. Deadfine: JAN 30198 Michael Geiiner Memorial Scholarship -available to 38 Kinesiology or Health Studies. Deadline: MAR 31198

Robert Haworth Scholarship - completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource manage-

Lang, Kathryn Lee, Catherine Lessard, Angela Loach, Scot MacDonald, Megan MacKinnon, Shaun Maguire, Sharon Mawson, Cheryl Mawson, Christie McIntosh, Beth McVeigh, Jana Meagher, Conor Misra, Rishi Muir, Tara Nauta, Teresa Nelson, Leigh

;:>.. .I

ment related to Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation. Deadline: MAY 28/98 Kate Kenny Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiology with an interest in rehabilitative medicine. Deadline: OCT 31/ 97RAWCO - available to 2nd, 3rd, or 4th year Recreation and Leisure Studies. Deadline: JAN 30/98 Faculty of Arts: Concordia Club Award - available to 3rd year Regular or 3A Co-op Germanic & Slavic. Deadline: JAN 31198 Faculty of Engineering: Andersen Consulting Scholarship - available to 3B. Deadline: MAR 31/98 Environmental Scholarship - available to 3rd year Environmental Chemical. Deadline: MAY 28198 OPE Foundation Undergraduate Scholarship - available to all 28 & 38 based on extracurricular and marks. Deadline: NOV 28/97 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - available to 38 Civil, water resource management students. Deadline: MAY 28/98 Faculty of Environmentai Studies:

Parker, Jackie Parsons,Lisa Patterson, Eric Pearce,Michelle Peterson, Matt Peterson, Wendy Piva, Eddy Race, Pat Reid, Angela Reid, Angela Roberts, Jody Robinson, Bryan Salt, Jessica Sanderson, Valerie Scott, Karyn Shearer, Mary-Jo

:.*.:,j

- Overseas $82.85

Shelley Eliison Memorial Award - available to 3rd year Planning. Deadline: NOV 28/97 Robert Haworth Scholarship - available to 38 Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage & Planning, Outdoor Education. Deadline: MAY 30/98 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship -available to 3rd year Environment & Resource Studies, Planning, Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: MAY 31/97 Faculty of Mathematics: Andersen Consulting Scholarship - available to 38. Deadline: MAR 31/98 Electrohome 75th Anniversary Scholarship available to 38 Computer Science. Deadline: NOV 28/97 Sun Life of Canada Award - available to 2nd year Actuarial

Skene, Alexander Sorgi, Jessica Swindle, Jillian Thiessen,Geoff Upton, Jen Van De Valk, Kerri-Anne Wallwork, Susan Warren, Trish Wentzel, Kris Whaling, Krista L. Whitelaw, Jay Williams, Tamara L. Williamson, Sara Wonnacott, Marie Y eomans, Claire Zimrner, Janis

Science. Deadline: NOV 28/97

Faculty of Science: David M. Forget Memorial Award in Geology avaiiable to 2A Earth Science, see department S.C. Johnson & Son Ltd. Environmental Schoiarship - available to 3rd year Chemistry. Deadline: MAY 30/98 Marcel Pequetgnat Scholarship - available to 3B Earth ScienceiWater Resource Mgt. Deadline: MAY 30198

Friday, November 21,1997 “Mission Impossible” What is our mission here? Come join ChineseChristian Fellowship at 7 p.m. at MC 2034. Speaker Peter Ma. Free refreshments. Contact Sandra at 884-5897. Saturday, November 22,1997 Hopespring Dinner & Silent Auction. Dinner presentation will entail the presentation of the Spiritual Warrior Scholarship to Waterloo resident Joanna Weis. For more info call 742-4673. Sunday, November 23,1997 The Cat4 Apocoiypsoa coffee house hosted by the UW Navigators. Starts at 8:00 p.m. in the SLC Great Hall. (lounging, live entertainment, free coffee and snacks). Monday, November 24,1997 Waterloo Anthropology Club is proud to invite one and all to an event of Fun and Fundraising in support of Orangutan Foundation International. Come at 7:30 p.m. to AL 124. Wednesday, November 26,1997 Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo Coming Out Discussion Group. Topic: “Initiating an Intimate Relationship” 7:30 p.m. Social follows at 9 p.m. PAS 3005. Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Details: 884-4569. Friday, November 28,1997 Are you interested in working in the USA? Come hear from a Waterloo grad about job opportunities, immigration processes and other related topics. 10 to 11:30 a.m. in SLC room 2134/2135.

Speak no evil, hear no evil Local radio programmer taken off air for “slanderous comments” by Natalie Imprint

Gillis staff

radio program on CKWR, a local community radio station, has been discontinued as a result of political comments made on the air by the host of the show. Last Tuesday, Mark Xuereb, host of S’e&lZYYtere~s~Radio, a one-hour weekly program, received a letter immediately terminating his programming privileges at the station. The station’s board of directors removed Xuereb from the air for making “slanderous comments against Shell Oil Company.” The comments in question were made during the November 10 edition of@&& 1n~&&~dio. Xuereb played excerpts from a discussion of Shell Oil’s current activities in Nigeria, and then suggested to listeners that, to support Nigerian protesters, “on a local level, you can continue to boycott Shell: shop elsewhere, if you do shop for gasoline.” Said the letter he received the following day, “The local businesses who purchase gas and oil products from Shell are just that, local business people, trying to make a decent living. Your comments once again could bring economic harm to these

in terms of freedom of expression.” Slander and libel refer to the utterance and publication of material that defames a person or organization. In this instance, the CKWR board feels that the public broadcast of negative statements about Shell Oil and the request that listeners boycott local Shell stations are slanderous. Xuereb maintains that “asking people to boycott a corporation after reporting facts about the company’s activities amounts to what would be defined as ‘fair comment,“’ a legal defense for defamatory material. Xuereb had his programming privileges temporarily removed by the board

“They’re setting a dangerous precedent in terms of freedom of expression.” local businesses, and put the station and the Board of Directors in a very difficult position.” The station’s board of directors is concerned about possible legal action arising as a result of negative comments made on the air. “We have an obligation to protect our members from action that could jeopardize the station or its assets,” said Adolf Gubler, a member of the board. According to Xuereb, “Their fear of Ii be1 is unfounded and they’re setting a dangerous precedent

under similar circumstances earlier this year. In April, Xuereb advocated the boycotting of the Princess Cinema in Waterloo in support of the projectionist who was locked out at the time. Xuereb appealed the board’s decision and had his show reinstated because he had not been properly warned about the station’s program content policies. Xuereb returned to the air with the proviso that “a set of rules prohibiting him from any comments containing negative economic or financial content be

given

to him.” “Does that mean I can’t talk about the budget?” asked Xuereb. “That would prohibit a lot of stories that they air on their own, . .I’m beginning to marvel at how ridiculous their position is.” Although Gubler says the station’s mandate is “to give those people in the community who don’t otherwise have a voice the right to be heard,” Xuereb feels that right is being violated by the removal of his broadcasting privileges. “Is political opinion a reason to cancel a radio program?” he asks. When the policy prohibiting negative comments was reiterated in April, it wasn’t new, said Gubler. It “applies to every programmer, whether paid or volunteer,” he said, “We do not speak in favour of any group.” Xuereb feels he has been cancelled over “what amounts to political differences.” He explains, “citizens should have the right to boycott; what other choice do we have in capitalism?‘. . .If we can’t use the choice to put pressure on organizations, what power do we have?” But, he says, the station feels “I shouldn’t be using my power as someone in the media to discredit a business, no matter how true it [the allegation] is,” CKWR board members maintain that no

political differences exist between themselves and Xuereb. “We, as such at the board level, don’t care about anybody’s politics.” Mark’s programs contributed little to revenue by way of ad revenue or fundraising, said Gubler. “Notwithstanding this lack of fmancial contribution, we defended the program against all comers. We felt all along that Mark’s program, which advocates social change, gave our comfortable, capitalistic consciences a swift kick in the pants. I was a vociferous advocate of just that,” said Gubler. “What happened to Mark is simply this: in a segment of his program following a taped interview. . .he used words in the first person that, I think, advocate economic repurcussions against local people who happened to be associated with the particular oil company. When Mark settled into the dust of the arena and became one of the combatants, at that point he contravened the rules and regulations” of the station. “When that happens, the members of the public don’t differentiate between the station and the programmer,” concf uded Gubler. Though Xuereb will no longer be broadcasting on CKWR, the board insists that his show ~pedhtt~es~ Radio has not been cancelled. However, the show will not continue without a host, and no attempt is being made to find one to replace

NEWS

IMPRINT,

Friday,

21, 1997

November

After the offer

What to do beforeyou sign on the dotted line by Andy Choy and Gwen Hoffman special to Imprint

..~

Bachelor

of Education

(One l

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regarded

small

classes

supportive

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practice Ontario

program)

program

atmosphere practical teaching

all professors

placement

Application

year

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areas

throughout

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service

Deadline:

Friday,

December 5, 1997

For further information on the Nipissing University Bachelor of Education program please contact the Office of the Registrar. For an application package, please contact either of the following:

ONTARIO UNIVERSITIES’ Appf ication Centre Phone: (519) 823-l 940 E-mail: teas@netserv,ouac.on.ca Internet: http://www.ouac.on.ca

NIPISSING UNIVERSITY Office

of the Registrar

ext. 4271 nipureg@admin.unipissing.ca http:www.unipissing.ca/ (705)

474-3461

NIPISSING UNIVERWY

1oDGA.&

Drive, Box NKlI&Nod-h Bay,Ontario PlB 8L7

o you use an on-line job search to help you find a job and you get the offer. That top-notch consulting firm, cool marketing shop, high-speed Internet software company, or corporate giant wants you to work for them, I After they tell you the salary, location, benefits, responsibilities, vacation and tuition reimbursement plan, you are going to have to decide if this is something that you want to do for the rest of your life. Here’s some advice: take your time. Never accept an offer without thinking about the job long and hard. Taking a new job could determine a good part of the rest of your life, so don’t make the decision lightly. Below are some frequently asked questions and advice to help you with one of life’s more difficult decisions.

What happens if this is the only offer I get? If one company gives you an offer, there are sure to be plenty of other companies that want you too. Never sell yourself or your skills short. Once you have an offer, you are in the driver’s seat. Feel free to let other companies know that you are considering another offer and let them respond. Having multiple offers will

usually make you more attractive to employers. In today’s job market, good talent is hard to find.

What do 1 do when the company only gives me a few days to decide? Ask for more time. Never make a rushed decision based on a phony corporate timeline. Most employers who say they have a deadline will usually wait for you to make a decision. After all, they have invested a lot of time and effort to find you. If the company is inflexible and tries to pressure you into a decision, say “No.” Saying “no” is the hardest thing to do, but it may be the best decision you ever made. What sort of employer relies on hasty decisions to trick potential employees into joining? Remember, if you get an offer from one company there are likely to be others that want you, too.

What happens if I’m not satisfied with the salary? Ask for more. You’d be surprised how flexible most companies are. Don’t say “I need more money.” Tell them that you need to pay off your student loans or that you are going to have trouble relocating -just be upfront and honest. If you have an outstanding offer for considerably more money, let the other companies you are considering know. Many

will match their competitors’ compensation packages. Though some companies have a standard salary structure, they frequently throw in signing bonuses or relocation allowances to new employees that request them. You might also consider non-monetary compensation, such as a performance-based salary adjustment after six months or reimbursement of continuing education costs (e.g., test preparation classes). Bottom line: you can’t get more unless you ask.

What should I know about the offer? Make sure you ask all the right questions. Know what is expected of you. Does the job require ver 60 hours a week? Over 25 per cent travel? Less than two weeks of vacation? Understand the salary package. Does the employeroffera matching401 K plan? Do you get stock options? How many? Over what period of time? At what discount? Also, make sure you fully understand the health insurance available to you. Insurance can be very costly, so you want to have a good idea as towhat the company covers and what it does not. Can you get optional eye and dental coverage.’ How much? Now is the time to get all of you questions out in the open. And don’t forget Where do I sign?

one

last one:

UW ranked 4th by Fiona Imprint

W M

ore ond morestudents are preparing for career successby adding a

collegediploma to their existing university studies. Facedwith risingdebt, many university students also turn to collegeto take advantageof the value of an applied educationand thelowertuition costs. With programsand faculty to help you land your next iob, a collegeeducationprovides hands-on, practical skills demandedby today’s employers.And, with credits availablefor your existing studies,you’ll save time ond money by reducingyour lengthof study. Whateveryour interest, Sir Sandford FlemingCollegeoffers programs designed to accelerateyour career plans, including:

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APPLIED COMPUTER & INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY If you want ta instoll, design,buildor maintain computer and automatedsystems, a diploma from Fleming’sCentrefor Applied fomputing and InformationTechnalogywill prepare you for today’srapidly changing workplace. for more information,or to obtain a free course calendar,call or LiaisonOfAe in

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aterloo has been ranked fourth in Maclean’s 1997 annua1 ranking of Canadian universities. This is down from last year’s secondplace finish. One of the reasons that UW slipped was that it has fewer courses taught by tenured faculty. Due to the early retirement deal last year, 140 tenured professors have either retired or quit. However, Mario Bellabarba, president of UW’s Federation of Students, assures that many of those professors are still working on a contract basis and teaching the same courses. In the reputational survey conducted on 3,500 high school guidance counselors, university academics and CEO’s, UW was ranked the best overall university. The university also ranked first in the categories of Most Innovative and Leaders of Tomorrow. Bellabarba emphasized that “a lot of work will be needed to maintain that.” Other local Universities also fared well. In the survey of 51 Canadian universities, Wilfred

Laurier came in fifth in the Primarily Undergraduate category and Guelph placed second in the Comprehensive category - the same as Waterloo. University of Western Ontario placed ninth in the Medical/Doctoral Category. Desptie the relatively high ranking of UW and WLU, presidents of both universities feel that the survey is too concerned with issues like class size and the number of faculty who receive research grants rather than the proportion of graduates who get jobs, or the performance of students on national standardized tests. Ilrfaclean’srevealed that44per cent of universities reported a drop in their operating budgets. UW lost over $18 million in operating grants. In addition, fifty-six per cent of the universities have increased class size across the board. Jeff Gardner, Federation of Students’ Vice-President, Education commented that, from the beginning, Waterloo has always said it would “incorporate students into every aspect of the university” and it’s because of commitments like this that “Waterloo has shown again that it is attractive to students?

IMPRINT,

Friday,

November

21, 1997

The other Bush by Tasmina Imprint

Pate1 staff

espite strong protests from both the faculty and students of the University ofToronto, former U.S. president and CIA director George Bush received an honorary doctorate at the university this past Wednesday. For two months, various groups on campus have voiced their opposition to Bush receiving the doctorate through petitions and demonsrrations. During a governors councillors meeting on November 3, a request to reverse the decision was denied. Before the special convocation ceremony on Wednesday, protesters gathered outside and inside the building in which the ceremony was being held. Just before Bush was honoured with his doctorate, approximately 50 students and faculty got up and walked out. At the centre of the heated debate was a $6.4 million donation the university received last month from the Barrick Gold Corporation. Bush serves on an international advisory panel for the company and as a result, accusations of an alleged link between the donation and the degree have been made.

The donation will be going towards the new Munk Centre for international Affairs, which was named after Peter Munk, the head of Barrick Gold. Due to the controversy surrounding the donation, a sodturning ceremony, which was also to be heid this past Wednesday, was cancelled. The university officials deny any connection between the donation and the honorary doctorate and state that Bush is receiving the doctorate as a result of his public record and his contribution to ending the cold war. However, according to Sarah Schimdt, News Editor of the university’s newspaper, T,t Vu&y, “Bush has had a horrible track record in public service and so when the university said the degree was for his public service, people aren’t believing it.” objections were also raised du$: to Bush’s involvement in the Iran-Contra scandal, the invasion of Panama, the Gulf War and the condemnation Bush received for violating human rights from the International Court of Justice and Peace. This honorary doctorate has also contributed to the current issue faced by all universitites concerning the apparent increase of corporate involvement in the running of Ontario’s public universities.

s(?IYlq... a[ in i location! “3 floors of entertah77ent”

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Grad Houseto stayopen by Sean Horwich special to Imprint

uring the last Graduate Student Association (GSA) council meeting, ir was decided that due to dramatic increases in profits and decreases in costs, as well as overwhelming public support, the Grad House will remain open for the next term. However, the GSA board has suggested the implementation of a special fee to be paid by graduate students. The new fee would help subsidize the Grad House and any future projects. The fee, which would be separate from the existing GSA fee, would be strikable. That is, students could choose not to pay it at the time of registration. Although the fee first needs to be approved by a referendum, it may be implemented as early as May 1998. Despite beginning this term with what Grad House manager Dianne Piaskowski calls uhorrendous overhead costs” and a large deficit, employees and patrons of the Grad House have rallied to turn the situation around. The November 12 meeting projected a deficit of $7,234; down from the September projection of $23,000. As well, sales are up 42 per cent from this time last year, and affiliate membership sales are up nearly

500 per cent. Things only seem to be getting better for the Grad House. When asked to what she attributed this remarkable turn-around, Piaskowski replied, “enthusiasm,” meaning her own, that of her staff and that of all of the Grad House’s costumers. Piaskowski also made note of several of the dramatic changes that have been implemented since she became manager. The Grad House has increased its beer selection and improved its menu, having found an excellent new lunch supplier. As well, the second floor of the Grad House can now be booked for private functions, while larger parties can book the entire house on Saturdays. An activities committee for the Grad House has also been established. This committee has worked to present several excitihg events, among them, this Saturday’s graduate student mixer. As well, this committee has booked several bands, including the Greek-rock band Synaxis, who will be playing at the Grad House this Friday. All of this, combined with a real desire among the student population to keep the Grad House open, has led to an amazing recovery for the pub. Grad House is not in perfect condition yet, but as Piaskowski says, things are definitely moving “in the right direction.”

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NEWS

UW True Crime

compiled

by Bruce LeeShanok special to Imprint

l’hankfully,

the past two weeks of November have been relatively quiet in terms of crimes on campus. As always, if anyone has any information on any unresolved crimes, please call Campus Police at 88%

l-800-265-2222

Give your parents a mid-life crisis.

IMPRINT, 4567 ext. 6911, or Waterloo Regional Crime Stoppers at l-800265-2222.

Theft

of UW Property

A telephone was stolen from the Office of Development and Alumni Affairs on November 3. On November 4, a fire extinguisher was stolen from Environmental Studies 2. November 4 also saw the theft of a 16 foot aIuminum canoe from the top of a vehicle parked in North Campus. On November 7, RAM was taken from a computer in Carl Pollock Hall, and the Physics building had a Unix workstation stolen, An alarm was set off in the Earth Sciences and Chemistry building November 9, immediately prior to a theft of a CPU which was recovered shortly after with its components missing.

Theft of Personal Property On November 6, UW Police on routine patrol discovered a stolen motor vehicle parked at Bauer Warehouse Road. Thevehicle was turned over to regional police. On November 7, $42 was stolen from a wallet in the ladies room on the main floor of the Village One Great Hall. A Lorus gold-colored watch was stolen from a washroom at Renison College on the morning of November 11.

Vehicle

Accidents

A 1991 Black Chevy Berreta was struck by another vehicle on

Friday, November 21, 1997 the MC Service Road on the 1st. The colliding vehicle failed to remain at the scene. On November 4, a vehicle turning into Lot-A hit another vehicle, causing damage in excess of $700. In Lot-M on November 7, an unsecured vehicle rolled into a parked vehicle causing minor damage.

Miscellaneous On November 4, a UW Police Cruiser transported an individual with a fractured wrist from the Columbia Icefields to the hospital. On November 8, a student requiring medication was transported by UW Police from the Davis Centre to her home. On November t 1, illegal use of a Watcard was reported to UW Police. Prior to being reported missing, the card was used for roughly $100 worth of purchases. Sgt. Wayne Shortt of UW Police would like to inform students losing or misplacing their Watcards to report the loss to the Watcard Office as soon as possible, as they will be held responsible for any purchases made from the card prior to reporting it missing. During the early hours of November 13, an individual involved in a fight was forcibly removed from the Bombshelter and subsequently sought a fight in front of the SIX. UW Police was called and the would-be aggressor was arrested and charged with intoxication in a public place. That same night another individual punched two members of the Bombshelter staff in the face while being forcibly removed from the premises.

NEWSIN BRIEI? compiled

by Owen Gregory Imprint staff

New dean for A& Professor Mike Sharratt has been appointed the new Dean of Applied Health Sciences. Although Sharratt has been the interim Dean of the faculty since August 1, he will officially start January 1,1998.Sharratt has been a member of the University community since 1974, when he joined the Department of Kinesiology. In addition to various academic positions Sharratt has held at the University, he is also President of two national associations. Sharratt’s appointment has had strong support within the faculty. President James Downey commented, “I look forward to working with him.”

CASA

www.gmcanada.com General Motors

is a trademark Corporation.

‘Graduate

rebate subject to program rules.

cites progress

The Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA) is pleased with the progress made at a recent meeting of the federal government, provincial government, banks, and students. The

meeting was the first of its kind. The most notable contribution of the student organization was the Real Solutions package. Real Solutions is a set of recommendations developed by CASA to deal with student aid. CASA proposed an IncomeBased Remission Program (CIBR ). The program is described by CASA as a “flexible loan repayment system that is sensitive toincome, but also supportive of graduates in need.” The Income-Based Remission Program received a lot of actention from all the groups represented at the meeting.

New bike storage

facility

The UW bicycle Centre will shortly be opening a bicycle storage facility. For a cost of $25 per term, students can leave their bicycles in an enclosure until they return to campus for their next academic term. There are a limited number of spots (approximately ZO), which will be sold on a first-come, first-serve basis. The Bicycle Centre is located in the basement of the Student Life Centre.

IMPRINT,

Why do you think UW fell in this year’s Maclean’s rankings?

Campus Question: by Cindy Hackelberg

‘There’s a lot more eqrolment here. Class size is bigger.”

NEWS

Friday, November 21, 1997

and Rachel E. Ekattie (photos)

ite magazine.”

huge mistake.”

many tenured profs.”

Anne Broadbent 1A Math

Marc Rigaux

Kira Bruschke

David Ma&in

‘The people make Waterloo bad, Some people are pricks.” ,

‘Maclean’s isn’t jxrfece. Sometimes even they make mistakes,”

“Cause I’m here now. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

“Bigger class sizes,teachers don’t have enough time for the students.”

Ernie Pahor 2A Science

Wendy Visser 2A Environmental Studies

Mike Levack 1A Science

Tanya Vasey 1A Science

Anatomy

TheVortex and Qevohim

we NOW at:

of T*II Vortex

Weasel hunting made easy

by Peter Lenardon, Editor - in - Chief

Maclean’s may be book smart. l

“B&ware of the man who works learns it, and finds himself no full of murderous resentment rant without having come by way.”

The forum pages allow members of the University of Waterloo community to present their views on various issues through letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. The opinions expressedin columns, comment pieces, letters and other articles are strictly those of the authors, not of Imprint. l

&rd to learn something wiser than before. He ii of people who are igno. their ignorance the hart

hhh, yes. I. will soon finish up the last of my politica science degree at what is said to be the best overal university in Canada in the latestM&~tin’s reputationa rankings. All that is left to do is finish my contract with Imprint, circulate a few resumes, write up a few eloquent, but aggressive and self-aggrandizing cover let. ters, mail them out and wait for the job offers to roll in After all, if Mu&an’s says it’s so. . . Ok, that was cheap and cynical. 1 promised mysel I wouldn’t be like that this week, but in the face o something as hyper-rational in tone and substance a! the Muchan’s rankings, my brain clicks into s-mart-ale< mode. While I appreciate the rough estimates that the university issue provides for 0IA.C. students entering university, its classifications are somewhat simplistic and extremely general. Does class size really matter ir Psych 101? Does the entrance average of students real11 matter? I know mine was a bit inflated when I applied tC university. People I went to high school with had higher averages than me, but flunked out first term. The survey also seems suspiciously like a political document. (Funny how the three ‘old money’ schoolsG Queen’s, McGill and Toronto, were the tope three ir! the Overall Ranking of medical/doctoral schools.) Tc measure “the calibre of the faculty,” Maclean’s calculates the percentage with Phds. Fine, but UW Econom= its professor Larry Smith has won the Distinguished Teacher Award a number of times, yet doesn’t have a PhD. By averaging general criteria, the survey ignore5 :he standard of particular programs at universities rela= :ive to the same program at other institutions, like the excellent Music or M.BIA. program at Laurier or Com?uter Science at Waterloo. The survey also ignores whal ,ndividual students bring to their studies, other than ligh entrance averages. Extracurricular opportunities, a luge component of any student’s overall education are gnored.

After all, the survey looks a bit weird when the rankings change appreciably in a span of one year. In the DveralJ Comprehensive ranking, UW dropped to fourth from second, suffering this year because the co-op fee iz no longer considered by the A~&L~&u& people to be pel zapita spending on ’ student services. The measurements seem to change annually, but then they have alwayshad a problem classifying UW. Students on work terms were excluded from the calculations in the 1991 survey, yet the most objectionable feature of the rankings is the focus on universities as a glorified trade schools, zranking out eager workers for corporations around the world. All of that said, let me commend the University of Waterloo for the education I received during my considxa ble time here. During my two year transitional period n the Faculty of Engineering, I came to appreciate the lenefits of an academic program that stripped down an unstructured mind like mine and demanded patience md rigor. I also got a taste of the complex beauty of the

lhysical world and the internal poetry of mathematics. During my subsequent studies in Political Science, I :ame to see rhat, unlike in Engineering, THE ANSWER cannot always be found, even if I have last year’s nid-term. I became hlrmble before the universe. To me, the University of Waterloo is so good, not lecause of per capita spending on students, or the everyone lere is excited about what they are doing, whether that s writing C++ code or cleaning up the environment, and :he excitement is contagious. The school doesn’t derive ts quality from some far gone history; we each have to Irove ourselves because UW doesn’t have name brand

lumber

of Phds

on our faculty.

r8ecognition. Well,

maybe

now it does.

It is because

The University of Waterloo Student Newspaper Friday, No&mber 21,1997 - Volume 20, Number 19 * A Qfe Centre, Room 1116,University of WaterIoo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3Gl Ph: 519-888-4048 - Fax: 519-884-7800 - e-mail: editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca www: http://imprint.uwaterIoo.ca

Student

Editorial Editor in Chief Assistant Editor Forum Editor News Editor News Assistant Arts Editor Arts Assistant Sports Editor Sports Assistant Human Editor Science Editor Photo

Editor

Photo Assistant WWW

Page Editor

WWW Page Assistant Systems Administrator Graphic Editor Proofreaders

Board

St&f

Peter Lenardon Katie Ricks Emily Bruner Natalie Gillis Tasmina

Pate1

Scott Preston Debbra McClintock Greg Picken Liz Monier- Williams Tracy Hunt Andrew Krywaniuk Rob Van Kruistum Laurie Bulchak Justin

Kominar

Graham Dunn Klaus Steden Craig Hickie Rachel E. Beattie Mark Besz Shyreen Hirani Evie Nimmo

Bernhard Wall

Distribution Laurie Bulchak and Scott Preston Imprint is the official student

Business Manager Advertising/Production Advertising Assistant

-+ Board

Marea Willis Laurie Tigert-Dumas Jonathan Evans Adam Natran

of Directors

President Vice-President Secretary Treasurer Director at Large Staff Liaison

Contribution

Rob Van Kruistum Greg Picken Niels Jensen Scott Preston vacant Justin Kominar

List

Shannon Bernstein, Marla Bigel, Mae Cantos, Andy Choy, Lauren Craig Stephen, David Drewe, Chris Edginton, Neil Fortier, Brenda Foster, TJ Galda, Jeff Cardner,Christophcr Giesler, Jeff Gordon, Owen Gregory, Michael Habicher, Cindy Hackelbcrg, Auren Hoffman, Sean Honvich, Fiona Hudgins, Niels Jensen, Lisa Johnson Andrew Krywaniuk, Ohad Lederer, Bruce Lee-Shanok, Rachel Mainviile, Angela McCullum, Mike McKay, Jennifer Nicholson, Dean Palmer, The Parking Lot Is Full, Paul Rencoret, Andrea Schmidt, Robert Schmidt, Ali Smith, Stephanie Speller, Katarina Starcevic, WPIRG, Frank Yang, Mike Yunker

newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Mail should be addressed to Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterlrw>, Ontario, NZL 3Gl.

Imprint subject gender,

welcomes letters to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters received via electronic mail must be verified to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint.

Scott is a pain in the Arts

‘m going to keep this short and sweet. There’s nothing wrong with opinions being expressed outside the forum section (except in the news section). That being said, the November 14 edition the Arts Section in particular crossed the line of what journalism should be on too many levels to be ignored. First, on page 23, the “Imprint Renegades” (?) spent a third of a page for a list. More than half a page if you discount the space for ads. A I& There may have been some ironic humour intended, however it was so overplayed as to be imdman~ Back when I worked at Imprint, the Arts Section didn’t fill up space with attempts at humour. They also found space to review more than five albums. Then, on page 24, another quarter of a page is devoted to a continuing war of words between a reader and Scott Preston (one of the aforementioned “Imprint Renegades”). Scott, surely therecould have been some better use of space in this issue. Wasn’t there anything more reimunt for you to print? Read your Imprint Style Guide. Doesn’t it say that editors should only reply to correct factual errors? And then doesn’t it refer to your style of response-writing as “childish and unprofessional?” Rt& your sole guide. You should have already. Once again, I come back to my statement that I don’t mind opinions being expressed outside the forum section. Just try to keep them relevant, For example, if you don’t like a band, and wish they would go away, say that when you review their next album or concert. If you want to argue with a reader, hunt them down and annoy them privately. As it is, you’ve single-handedly brought the Imprint down to the level of Tilt) Tor~to Sun, (once again, read your style guide).

Frustrated with arts

ust some observations on the Imprint Arts section: 1, It seems to me like Scott Preston, David Vongprachanh, [and Alan Cross of CFN-Pig for good measure] need to take their lame-ass arguments to some obscure newsgroup for themselves

and other wanna-be music “scholars.” Reading arguments about music being linear or the appropriateness of critics preaching music is so completely irrelevant to people who listen to music. Going on and on about which decade produced thebestmusic is like arguing Fork vs. Spoon not only will people believe what they will, most of them just don’t care. 2. Richard Ashcroft of the Verve did not co-write “Cast No Shadow” with Noel Gallagher of Oasis as reported in the review of Urban Hymns last week. While the song was written as a tribute of sorts to Richard, anyone who follows Oasis even slightly knows that Noel works alone, We used to laugh at Krafty for the volume and intensity of his ourput a couple of years ago. But at least he had writing style and knew his facts. It wasn’t that long ago that Imprint covered more than l-2 concerts and 4-5 new albums each week [and how many Spirit of the West reviews can one newspaper publish?] I understand the paper has gotten smaller but I somehow doubt that this is the full reason for the scaled back coverage. Naturally, I’ll be expecting some sort of witty comeback. Imprint has the last word and I’d be disappointed if you didn’t respond. But don’t use the standard “if you want to see something in the paper, then you come on down and write it.” I can name at least four people, myself included, who have given up on writing for Imprint Arts for basically the same reasons. I used to read Imprint back to front.

Don’t forget the ones who died

am very disappointed by the administration’s handling of Remembrance Day. Rather than ensuring that all students, faculty and staff were able to attend services, it seems that the decision whether or not to suspend classes over 11:OO am was left to the professor’s discretion, Mine had not even considered dismissing class early to allow students to attend services until I asked. It is so important that we remember why those before us fought and died. Our generation, especially,

must

be encouraged

and supported in this endeavour. I believe that a change of university policy regarding Remembrance Day is called for.

Playing safe?

t has taken a good deal of effort to write this letter, Obscurity makes situations like this easier to deal with, it helps you avoid facing it. Still, every time someone sees me and asks about my bruises, I can feel the outrage at what transpired on the eve of my 24th birthday, and I have to say something. On Friday November 14, a group of friends and I went to the Revolution in Waterloo. I’ve gone to the “Rev” before, despite stories I’ve heard about beatings in the parking lots. I simply dismissed all of them as pure speculation; the drunken rantings of some fool who had way too much. Alcohol and violence sometimes go together, although it’s usually just two drunks going at it. Door staff keep an eye out for that kind of thing and I’ve watched the staff at campus bars like the Bombshelter, Fed Hall or The Turret subdue a rowdy crowd before someone gets hurt. Every time the staff has been courteous and, in the worst case scenarios, they’ve kept their cool and waited for the police to arrive. In the six years that I’ve been a member of this community, I have never once

witnessed any of these staff act excessively in restraining a patron. Nor can I imagine it, they’re far too well-trained. Logically, then, the same should apply to the staff at bars in the KW area. Imagine my shock then, when four of the door staff escorted me from the Revolution and proceeded to beat and kick me as I lay on the ground. Imagine my surprise when the staff refused to honour my request for the police and instead dragged me along on my back across the parking lot to the road. It’s not that I have a quarrel with being asked to leave the bar, I only wonder why the staff continued to serve me and didn’t ask me to leave sooner. I have no quarrel with being escorted out through a side door hidden from view, I only wonder why the staff refused to allow my cab-fare bearing companion to accompany me through the same door. In fact, my only real quarrel lies in the fact that money I spent at the bar was used topaystaffnottoensuremysafety, but to violate it. What worries me most about this is that I’m not alone. Just ask the young man in the emergency room at the Kitchener/Waterloo hospital who arrived before me and spent most of his night being sewn back together. Ask his parents if they felt relief that at least

with a signature. or discriminatory

by Pete

Nesbitt

and

Pat Spacek

is of

their son’s injuries weren’t the resultofarandomattackbutcame at the skilled hands of the Revofu tion door staff; professionals paid to keep order. I’m sure they feel better knowing that. If you’re fond of these places, have fun, just travel in big groups. As for my friends and I, we’ve learned our lesson. We’ll keep our money or campus, where the staff recog nize that customers come back when you don’t hospitalize them.

Fun is just a football away

t the start of term, I got dragged out to the football game against the Windsor Lancers and much to my surprise, I had a great time! Football was non-existent at my high school because of financial constraints and so I didn’t even have the foggiest idea what the whole point of football was. My football-crazed roommates and classmates taught me all about the game and soon I found myself cheering and jeering along with the rest of them. continued

The Parking lot is Full htip://www.execuIink.com/-nesbitt/PLlF/index.htm

All material on the basis

to page 10

FORUM

WPIRG

WjSrTIEIiLOO PUBLIC INkERE%T RESEARCH Student

GROUP

Lifs Centre

Ext. 2578

ewpifg*atsewl &tip:I/wotservl

Room

Saturday, November 22, community and labour groups will target Waterloo North M.P.P. Elizabeth Witmer as part of a day-long education and action forum. Members from more than ten community groups and numerous unions will participate in this “Takin’ it to the Tories” event. These groups are angry with Elizabeth Witmer for her position on a wide variety of legislation and are singhng her out because of her key role in the government as a member of the Tory inner Cabinet (Policy and Priorities Committee ofcabinet). As a member of this elite group, Witmer has been instrumental in influencing key decisions and policy direction for all ministries, in addition to having been Minister of Labour and currentIy Minister of Health. Local activists will speak out against the Tories and their policies on labour, health, welfare, education, tenants’ rights, the environment and Native issues. One of the key speakers, Pierre George, wi11 speak about Stoney Point and the growing pressure for a public inquiry into the OPP murder of his brother, Dudley George. Cambridge teacher Dwyer Sullivan will also speak

about his recent five-day occupation of Minister of Education David Johnson’s office. The event will begin at 9:30 a.m. with a “teach-in” in the Great Hal1 of the Student Life Center. Eight speakers representinglocal interests will make presentations and engage in question and answer sessions. A theme of providing critical analysis of both the role and policy direction of the provincial inner Cabinet, as well as the role of civil disobedience as a means of protest, will give continuity for the teach-in. Community and labour groups will set up display tables in order to disseminate information and raise awareness. Participatingcommunity groups include Anti-Racist Action, Centre for Compassionate Living, Food not Bombs, Globa Community Centre, K-W Socia1ists, Ontario Coalition Against Poverty, Student Action Organization, Students for Indigenous Rights, Students With Voices and the Waterloo Public Interest Research Group. At noon, the focus of the event will shift from education to action.The assembled groups will march from the university to Elizabeth Witmer’s constituency office for a rally. As one action, dem-

or 888-4882

.uwaterloo*co~ .uwaterloo.ca/-wpirg>

continued

from

Next Week Wednesday, November 26, 7-9 p.m.: Great Northern Forest Video Night and Discussion, at WPIRG (SLC 2139). Thursday, November 27, 7-9 p.m.: “Is There Freedom of the Press in CUBA?” with Isidro Fardales, Vice-Director of Radio Havana and Chiefof International News, at WPIRG. Friday, November 28,lO a.m. - 3 p.m.: “Buy Nothing Day,” SLC.

by Lauren Craig Stephen

page 9

That was it, one of the last people you’d expect cheering on a sports team was hooked! We kept going back and even the football parents came to expect us at games to cheer on our great team. For me, one of our sweetest victories was the win against the Western Mustangsduring Homecomingat J.W. Little Stadium in London. We were told that our Iittle group of 30 people was the loudest in the stadium. It was even sweeter when we returned to London to beat the Mustangs for the Yates Cup, a school first! What this team did was show that here at Waterloo we do more than keep our nose in the books. We have great sports teams, and I encourage everyone to take an afternoon or an evening to go out and support a team. I’d Iike to congratulate and thank the Waterloo Warriors football team for a terrific season and wish the graduating players all the best of luck. You can count on me in the stands next fall when the Warriors defend their Yates Cup.

onstrators plan to leave a banner for Ms. Witmer inscribed with personal messages. The event has been endorsed by the K-W District Labour Council and members from the Canadian Union of Public Employees, the Canadian Auto Workers, Service Employees’ International United and the Ontario English Catholic Teachers Association “Takin’ it to the will participate. Tories” has been organized by the Community and Labour League - a group of non-partisan loca1 activists. This group seeks to educate and organize around issues that concern the working community of K-W.

OutRage

Football fun

here are 1iteraIly hundreds of hate groups on the Internetdevoted toattackinggays and spreading homophobia. Groups such as “FOCUS on the Famiiy” and “The Traditional Values CoaIition” operate under the banner of Christianity, and use the Bible as an excuse tohate. The way that such groups interpret the scriptures to “prove” that homosexuality is wrong is extremely suspect. However, the idea that the Bible condemns homosexuality just doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. The first “condemnation” of homosexuality in the Bible occurs in Genesis 29, with the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. The men of Sodom want “to know” Lot’s guests, two angels disguised as men, and are destroyed for it. But the punishment is for gang rape rather than homosexuality, and rape is about power, not sexual attraction. The book of h&+as calls sex between men “an abomination,” However, L&&also prescribes severe penalties for sex when a woman is menstruating,

Invective

and forbids the wearing of clothing made out of cotton mixed with wool. The behaviour restrictions are so strict that some say the only people who get out of L&ti~~~ unscathed are vegetarian lesbians. There is considerable debate among Bible scholars regarding apparent criticisms of gay men in Curinrlrians and Titnt&y : many believe that references to homosexuality are mistranslations from the original Greek texts. In Paul’s letter to the Remans he seems to clearly come out against homosexual sex, and yet his main point is to condemn idolatry, not sexuality. Certainly Paul refers to gay sex as unnatural, but elsewhere he uses the term to describe men with long hair and those who are uncircumcised. I don’t pretend to be a Bible expert or an unbiased reader. However, the topic of homosexuality and the Bible & under serious debate, and those who would unconditionally condemn gays and Iesbians and call it Christianity seem to be on shaky ground indeed.

Friday,

November

21, 1997

Irreverance by Andrew Krywaniuk

Reduce Reviews’ Recital (part 2)

2139

Takin’ it to the Tories ,his

IMPRINT,

ecall that last week’s column criticized the overwhelming negativity of movie reviewers. The monotonicity of many critics’ opinions is dreary, but it is not isolated to movies - these attitudes appear in all facets of life. Poor critics come in several flavours. A “cynic” goes into every film expecting it to be bad. Cynics derive some sort of perverse pleasure from hating every movie they see and from holding their “superior” taste above the public’s uninformed opinion. A “fanatic” has no appreciation for film, but uses movies as a political device. Some feminist writers will judge every movie by the strength of the female roles. If a film does not advance the feminist cause, then it is unworthy of praise. A “puritan” confuses the medium with the message. Puritans might assume that a violent movie is advocating violence. Consider a director’s motives for making a war film: depicting history, showing a character’s maturation, even criticizing war. Besides, speculation that it advocates violence is no reason to boycott a movie. Listening to dissenting opinions is a sign of emotional maturity. Fanatics and puritans are dangerous because they have a cause. Cynics just like to hear the sound of their own voice. But a11 three personalities are influential because they are loudmouthed. Many normal people have strong opinions, but they do not hold those beliefs above a11else. However, in the world of politics, the

uri\pace

most vocal people have the most say. Cynics are always dissatisfied with the status quo. They somehow believe that the grass really is greener on the other side. Cynics perpetuate the myth that all politicians are crooked, and, ironically, they help to fulfill it. The public’s short memory for broken promises encourages public officials to trust the adage that “image is everything.” Look at Ontario’s left-wing/right-wing seesaw: knee-jerk pure, reactionism. You have to admire Premier Harris for carrying through with his election platform. At least he is smart enough to ignore the dubious opinions of 1obby groups, who do not generally represent public opinion as a whole (even if it’s only because Harris doesn’t listen to anybody}. The problem with lobby groups is that they are largelycomposed of fanatics. Fanatics are dangerous because they have a cease: a single, focused belief that underlies their motives. Common sense is always subordinate to a cause. Puritans are really just a special case of fanaticsthey are fanatical about morality. The other problem is solidarity. People who have “normal’” views are generally quiet and reserved. People with minority opinions are often more vocal, and also more tightly-knit. Sometimes, a group of people, often with widely varying opinions, will band together and present a united front. And thus, lobby groups can control politicians.

by Mike Yunker

Found embedded in concrete “shoes” and thrown in the fish tank, the Polka Dot Door learned too late of Humpty’s gambling debt.

The audience is processing Secrecy and paranoia in a world of intelligent machines by Andrew Imprint

Krywaniuk staff

ord-processing programs are becoming increasingly adept at recognizing common writing constructions and styles. Grammar checkers analyze sentence structures; auto-formatting tools make changes to your document without even asking your permission. Upon beginning his document “Dear sir,” a friend of mine was upset when Microsoft Word interjected, “You seem to be writing a letter. Would you like to use the standard letter template?” It’s not that the computer’s diagnosis was wrong. Apparently, he merely objected to having MS Word “listening in” on what he was typing. Accusing today’s software programs of spying is probably just a sign of paranoia. There are few rewards in an undirected attack on the business community. Stealing credit card numbers would be a possibility. Card numbers are encrypted before they are sent across the Internet, but the web browser has access to this information, and it could be programmed to forward this information to a third party (although this kind of fraud would probably be detected fairly quickly). But as computer programs become more capable of interpreting what we say, will we still trust them? Or will we go back to writing sensitive documents with a simple text editor? The ques-

tion of how much we trust our computer strikes an interesting chord, as it seems to attribute sentience to a machine.

tially unlimited access to the user’s computer, but the user is warned about the hazards of running unsafe software and the pro-

“Although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips mcwe.” graphic

This issue is evident in the Java vs. Active-X debate. Sun’s Java engine protects the user from malicious programs by limiting an application’s access to the host computer - with limited success: the user’s files are generally safe from damage, but important information, such as the user’s web history, is still vulnerable. Microsoft’s attitude is that you should only download and run software from recognized software vendors that you trust. Thus, Active-X software is given essen-

by Andrew

Kpmnfuk

gram is usually “digitally signed,” proving that it has not been tampered with. I recall seeing a movie called The S/laduw Cottspirdq. It was a really bad movie, but it raised some interesting points. At one point, government operatives activate a device that scanned every phone call in Washington, DC. for the sound of Charlie Sheen’s voice. That may sound infeasible with current technology, but it is well known that the F.B.I. routineIy scans Internet mail for

words

such as “drugs.” As computers become more and more adept at understanding English and recognizing different contexts, they will represent an even greater threat to our privacy. A sophisticated computer system could automatically scan e-mail or phone calls and interpret the results. A mere brute force search for “drugs” is ineffective because the majority of the “hits” are false positives: discussions about prescription drugs or drugstores, or even just casual, non-criminal discussions about illicit drug use. A discriminating computer program would be comparable to using the Yahoo search engine rather than Digital’s AltaVista. AltaVista merely searches for a keyword in a giant database. Yahoo attempts to interpret a query and perform a category-based search. For broad search topics, this kind of search technique tends to be more discriminating than the brute force technique. The only real protection against this kind of invasion is strong encryption. Both phone calls and e-mail can be encoded

in such a way that they can only be deciphered by the intended recipient. Encryption advocates insist that it is every right-minded citizen’s duty to use encryption all the time, as intermittent use draws particular attention to certain people or certain messages. If every communication is encrypted, then attackers won’t know where to focus their efforts. The U.S. government disagrees. They support the idea that protecting sensitive data from attackers is necessary, but they are unwilling to concede their right to tap phones and read e-mail for legitimate law enforcement purposes. And thus the struggle continues: man vs. man, man vs. machine, man vs. government. Computers may soon present a significant threat to our privacy. But it is important to remember that the real antagonist will continue to be human: the corrupt programmer or the prying government agency. When computers spy on us of their own accord, we will have entered the true age of man vs. machine, but by then it will be too late. And that reminds me of another movie. . .

Trust no one by Michael Imprint

I-labicher staff

he truth is out there.. .or is it? Every week, millions of viewers tune in to check up on the alien-obsessed Agent Mulder and his skeptical sidekick, Agent Scully. But could the runaway success of programs such as T&e X-Files be at least partly responsible for what some see as an ever-increasing belief in so-called “paranormal science?” Of course, we all know that The X-F&s is nothing more than good entertainment, just like horoscopes. Yet for some reason, The O#ma C.+..= seems to think it is necessary to print a disclaimer beside its horoscope column, reminding readers of this fact! Ridiculous? Perhaps. But consider: the late-night TV ads for psychic alliances, networks, friendships, and councils are becoming almost as common as ads for 976-BABE lines. While the advertising time after midnight may be considerably cheaper than that available during prime time, it is still not free -and the money to pay for these infomercials must be coming from somewhere. If you buy a paper for the news, at least your horoscope comes free with it; JoJo and her friends will soak you upwards of ten dollars per call.

In an article

for the G&q Dawkins presents a scenario where a TV psychic breathes over the north of Britain and asks viewers to caI1 in if anything strange happens during the program, Sure enough, he tells us, someone will call in claiming that his child has just thrown up his tea and that there’s ketchup all over the sofa. Predictably, the psychic goes crazy, referring to the caller’s story as “uncanny” and “beyond belief.” He then immediately dispatches a camera crew to the location, ignoring the statistical fact that, with an audience of over a million, sooner of later suMeOn is bound ru ger sick. People’s hunger for paranormal science is so bad, continues Dawkins, that in one episode of the BBC’s 0~ Of TIGJ World, a hostess, touting her “scientific” credentials, spent a night alone with a camcorder in a haunted house. No ghosts were seen (nor presumably recorded), but “she did feel pretty spooky in one room that was abnormally cold.”

Times,Richard

To help unmask

what

he re-

fers to as pseudoscientific beliefs, magician James Randi founded the James Randi Educational Foundation(JREF)in 1996(http:/ /www.ranniorg). This non-profit continued

to page 12

SCIENCE TRUST NO ONE continued from page 11

banned in the US. for feeding paranoia and general mistrust of I . his government! .

based in Fort ‘organization, [ Lauderdale, Florida, currently has

Traditionally, programs of this genre, such as TXw Tadight Zone and TG Ou&f L&G&, were content to leave their viewers wondering, never drawing hard conclusions about the phenomena they depicted. TheX-Files not only subjects its viewers to Agent Scully’s skepticism of her partner’s “scientific” hypotheses, but also to the fact that for the most part, he is usually right! To be fair, T2e X-G’,es does not sell itself as anything more than entertainment; but there are many more shows - armed with psychics and spoon-benders that present themselves as being genuinely scientific. If the success of the phone-psychics is any indication, people are willing to believe these “truths” too! If these people really cuti do what they claim, then why don’t they submit themselves toproper scientific scrutiny? If their abilities were found to be a real and heretofore ignored phenomenon, then surely the royalties and development rights would be worth a lot more than the money made from late-night promos. . .? “Gifted” psychics have been known to fall back on the excuse that skeptical observers can inhibit their powers. Perhaps the best advice in a world full of such thriving snakeoil vendors can be gleaned from Th X-Fdes itself: Test no one.

i a standing offer of over a million {dollars available to anyone who can demonstrate psychic, supernatural, or paranormal abilities of any kind. Anecdotal evidence will not be accepted, and the results must be self-evident to any observer (to date, no one has collected the “reward”). Every April lst, the JREF also awards the “coveted” Pigasus awards in four categories, including “the scientist who said or did the silliest thing related to the supernatural, paranormal, or occult.” The 1996 award was presented to Ed May, head of the CIA’s “remote viewing” project, which, apparently through “gifted psychics,” bypassed time and space to collect secret information. The ten-year project, apparently started due to pressure from Congress, consumed $20 million and accomplished nothing. The Flying Pig trophy was sent to May via psychokinesis. What does all this have to do with TheX-Files? Well, if the leaders of the most powerful nation on Earth are buying this stuff, then who is to say what effect it is having on the viewing public at large? As one American cried a few years ago (admittedly in the usenet newsgroupalt.ni&-t&-tisu, not renowned for intelligent discussion), The X-Files should be

IMPRINT,

Friday, November 21, 1997

How do “they” know? by Craig Imprint

Hickie staff

decided to use the government

up there. It is left to private citizensand consumer groups to won-

figures, increasing exposure. Thus, the conservatism of the regulatory agencies themselves prevents meaningful dialogue on changing existing standards. Recently, concerns have been raised about chronic exposure to magnetic fields produced by power lines and substations where the voltage is stepped down. Studies have linked such exposure to the development of cancer in children. Furthermore, electromagnetic exposure can suppress the immune system, which may also lead to cancer. Consider the statistics: kids living near power lines arc twice as likely to develop or die from cancer, and a study in Texas showed that workers in the power industry, who are regularly exposed to magnetic fields, are 13 times more likely to develop brain cancer or leukemia than regular office-workers. Levels of 2.5 to 4.5 mG (millGauss) have been associated with the development of cancer in humans. Yet it is possible to measure magnetic field strengths of up to 100 mG within hundreds of feet of power lines. Schools, playgrounds and neighbourhoods are thus areas where chronic exposure to dangerous, but legally allowable, radiation can inundate anyone unlucky enough to grow

der what the hell is going on why 20 kids at the same school are coming down with leukemia. Don’t the regulatory agencies test out standards? Shouldn’t we all feel safe placing the health of our society in their expert hands? Let’s have a look at cases of standard setting from the recent past. In the 195Os, as X-ray devices became common, it was common to have your feet X-rayed in shoe stores to get a good fit. Except that people started dying of skin and bone cancer from the high radiation exposure. The standards were changed, reducing allowable exllosure, and people were still dying. So standards were changed again. And again. Today we look back at old radiation standards and laugh. “How could they have been so stupid?Theywerezapping themselves silly. What a joke!” Ahem. Microwave ovens? Cellular phones? Are these safe? How do we know? Nasty diseases can take up to 30 years to manifest themselves. Even now there are casesbefore the courts of people who are blaming their brain tumors on cellular phone use. 50 years from now, people will took back at us and laugh. “How could they have been so stupid? They were zapping themselves silly. What a joke!”

the conflict

onsider: a regulatory branch of the Health Department states that such and such an amount of microwave radiation poses no threat to the public. So we are all exposed to this level, and consumer goods manufacturers create gadgets that steep us in new and exciting baths of magnetic fields, non-ionizing radiation and other fun energies. But how do we know what’s safe when we are dealing withnew technologies? It is possible, even highly likely, the effects of radiation will not show up for years, and that only long-term exposure will lead to nasty ihness and death. Thus, these effects can go unnoticed for years and never be associated with their source. Standard setting is rife with conflict. Researchers are required to prove that any ill effects they find, say from electromagnetic radiation exposure, can be conclusively connected to the radiation, yet to establish an allowable level, the same stringent requirements aren’t applied. The burden of proof is on the accuser, not the developer of the technology. There are cases in past decisions where a government level was set, but private business set its own standard, which was even safer. Questions were raised about

and the businesses

UWFEDERATIONOF c STUDENTSPRESENTS: November 24-28 Student Debt AwarenessWeek SLCGreat Hall - Come by and sign a petition or two to help

government recognize our debt problems! It’s your money!

first mourn, then workfor change.

Dec. 6* 1997 marks the 8* anniversary of the Montreal Massacre. On that day, people all over Canada gather to remember 14 women killed by a sole gunman at L’EcolePolytechnique.

This year’s ceremony will take place

December 5th, at 5:3Opm in Siegfried Hall, St. Jerome’sCollege. for more information,

please contact Heather Calder at ext. 633 1.

+LA.C. INFO.

Final S.A.C.meeting, Nov 27 NH 1028 5:30pm I

Watpub Coordinators needed! Contact fedsac@watservl or call x2340 Students Advising Co-op Chair needed for Winter 98 - CALLJEFFGARDNER,EXT.2340 FOR INFO

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Only the pain is predictable Living with inflammatory bowel disease by Marla B&l special to Imprint

ave you ever noticed a sticker on the door of the LCBO on Erb St. saying ” We accqU ‘can ‘t wuil cards ’ here” ? This article will explain what the card is for and why it is so important for retail stores tosupport this cause. Ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease are two types of chronic inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and what I have realized since being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis over 2 years ago (besides the fact that it’s not much fun) is that it is slightly more comm.on than I had suspected. However, unlike myself, not everyone that has IBD is open about it; it is one of these diseases that is kept in the closet. People that don’t have the disease have probably never heard of it and the lack of public knowledge of IBD is not all that surprising as you can’t tell by looking at someone that they have it. Ulcerative colitis (UC) and Crohn’s disease have slightly different symtoms but both diseases involve inflammation of the lining of some part of the gastrointestinal tract. Inflammation is a localized bodily response to injury where the injured area becomes red, painful and swells (“itis” refers to inflammation) and when this occurs in the gastrointestinal tract, it affects normal intestinal function. To give you an ideaofwhat happens to the intestinal lining when it becomes inflamed, just think of what your leg looks like after you’ve slid across a few feet of pavement from a roller-blading accident. The gastrointestinal tract begins at, and includes, the mouth,

esophagus, stomach, small intestine/bowel, large intestine/bowel (colon), and rectum. The small intestine is specialized to absorb nutrients and the colon functions to absorb water and helps form stool. As I am most intimate with UC, I will talk mainly about this type of IBD. For information on Crohn’s see the phone numbers below. I think the most frustrating characteristic about UC is that although there is a lot understood about the disease, there is no known cause. This makes dealing with things a bit difficult because there is nothingyoucan blame. If it were lung cancer you could say, “I should have quit smoking,” but you can’t say this about inflammatory bowel disease because there is no preventative treatment for it. Regardless of what causes IBD, there are some epidemiological facts that are more or less true. IBD seems to be diagnosed most frequently between the ages of 15 - 30, it seems to affect males and females equally, and oeonle who live in urban areas more than rural areas. Believe it or not, it seems to be a disease that affects non-smokers. Contrary to popular belief, IBD is NOT a disease caused by stress or emotional dysfunction. The most salient symptoms of UC are bloody diarrhea, abdominal pain and frequent, urgent trips to the bathroom to have a bowel movement. A false urge is another symptom in which your rectum (which is normally not so pushy and can wait until you have time to get to the bathroom) sends a message to your brain telling you that L

you have an urgent need to go to the bathroomrightnow. However, once you get there nothing or almost nothing comes out. The urgency and frequency of bowel movements are, no pun intended, a royal pain in the ass, but the pain

nally diagnosed with limited disease, but now, aftera recent bout of illness, I have learned that the disease has spread to involve my whole colon. One who suffers from active Crohn’s or colitis, learns quickly that there is a direct relationship between eating, pain and diarrhea. In order to avoid these uncomfortable experiences, one tends to eat very little and the lackof adequate nutrition and fluids leads towcight loss and makes your illness worse. The symptom of urgency always makes you worry whether there will be a bathroom handy when you need one and you find yourself learning bathroom locations wherever you go. The constant need of a bathroom may lead you to restrict your activities, sometimes totheextent thatyou stayat home to make sure there are no accidents. Accidents, when they do happen, are stressful and embarrassing. That is where the “can’t wait” cards come in. These are cards that members can

Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation af Canada E:;:::i: associated with active disease is the most physically draining and upsetting. I’ve often told people that childbirth would be a piece of cake compared to the pain I experience when my UC is active. People with more the extensive form of this disease usually experrences more severe symptoms, but it is not unusual for someone with limited disease to be just as symptomatic. The disease can also spread to effect unaffected areas of the colon over time. That is what happened to me. I was origi-

Colitis Foundation of Canada and they allow you to use any “participating” bathroom at any time. There are a number of things that can be done to control ulcerative colitis but you have to realize that it may be a lifelong companion. This, however, does not mean that you cannot be healthy! I never thought that I’d be saying this since I’ve always been weary of taking medication, but western medicine can sometimes be your best friend. Because ulcerative colitis is an inflammatory

disease, the drug of choice is an anti-inflammatory, which comes in many flavours, shapes and sizes (i.e. pill, enema and suppository form). The type and amount of drug depends on the extent of the disease. Sometimes steroids are used to control a serious flare. Whether diet has anything to do with lJC, that is, whether eating certain foods can lead to a flare or exacerbate the symptoms of active disease, is hotly debated. Medical research has not yet found a convincing link between diet and UC because it is such a complicated relationship. However, food can play an important role in how you feel especially when the disease is active and you are experiencing symptoms. So how do you live with inflammatory bowel disease? Well, it’s not the easiest thing but it’s certainly do-able. The most important thing to remember, which can be difficult when things are bad, is not to let the disease get the best of you! I say this because there is some kind of aconnection between our psychological and our physiological states. Social support is also very important; I would never give up having friends and family to talk to! You also need a gastroenterologist (physician for IBD) that you like, feel comfortable with and consider competent because you can’t always trouble-shoot on your own. Finally, you have to realize that your body is your life so eat healthy, exercise and get the right amount of sleep.

Giving for the first time by Michael I-Iabicher special to Imprint gainst the seemingly implacable odds of a scandal urroundingits slowness to A, adopt measures to screen donated blood for HIVin the 1980s and the subsequent Krever inquiry, the Canadian Red Cross Society battles on. Most recently, in response to growing public mistrust of the institution, the federal government has decided to remove it from the role in Canada’s blood supply that it has played for over fifty years. Last week, I had the opportunitytoaccompanyafriendofmine to a walk-in blood donor clinic held by the Canadian Red Cross Soci-

ety in Guelph. The trip would mark her twelfth donation; it would be my first. I was understandably nervous. The questions echoed in my mind: Would it hurt? How much blood would they take? How would I feel afterwards? For all her best attempts to reassure me, I was still nervous as we entered the Steelworkers’ Union hall. First stop: a desk where we picked up the folders that would follow us through the donation process. As I had never donated before, there was aspecial sticker for me to wear and a folder with a “First

Time Donor” label on the front. Inside were pamphlets on AIDS and Creutzfeld-Jakob disease and a two-part questionnaire. The first half of the question-

strong chance your donation will bedeferred. With this part filled out, I moved on to a registered nurse who went over my answers with me. She also asked to see my driver’s license, but any ID with your photo and signature should do. (sometimes they ask for two pieces-be prepared!), Finally, she took down the address that I wanted my new donor card mailed to. With that paperworkoutofthe way, the nurse sterilized my mid-

I was understandablv nervous, Would it huh? naire

asks some basic health-requestions such as have you been sick recently and have you been to a dentist in the last three days? If you answer any of these first questions “yes,” there is a

lated

dle finger and then pricked its tip with a lancet. It stung mildly, but the pain didn’t linger. She then drew a small amount of my blood into a capillary tube and gave me acotton ball to hold over the wound. The sample was checked for a healthy iron content and to decermine my blood type; the whole test took about a minute. Next came the private completion of the second half of that questionnaire.This wasconducted by another nurse in an enclosed cubicle. She asked me the questions and checked off my answers; anumberofthem,notsurprisingly, dealt with my sexual history. I was continued

to page 16

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ow much do you think you can tell about someone by looking at their feet? In mostcases, not much, but what about the sh0e.s the feet are wearing? Shoes are like a best friend. They hang out with you at your house and go everywhere you go. They make you feel good, and they never complain. You like them, and they like you. Ready for this? The shoes you wear are usually a lot like you. Okay guys, now listen up. Women have known this about shoes for a while. If you try to pick up and your shoes suck, chances are you’re not gonna score. Women have been known to have a special talent with guys and shoes. To prove my point, I selected some guys on campus to pose with their best friends. I then found women to describe what this man’s personality is. The ladies weren’t told anything about theowner of the shoes, but we have supplied you with their age and program. Unfortunatly, names could not be printed due to harsh insults that may lower the self esteem of the individuals selected. Nevertheless, you still get an idea of what I’m talking about.

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HUMAN

Barter on Buy Nothing Day by Jennifer Nicholson special to Imprint

iring of your old clothes? Anxious about holiday gifts? Got some duds welt acquainted with thecloset moths? Looking for means of renewal in

“Why buy new?” or “Why buy?” are two of the essential questions of this Buy Nothing Day event. Our consumer society thrivesanddependsontheaverage citizen to buy new products. We are a society addicted to created needs. The Clothing SWAP hopes to demonstrate that so often we don’t need to shop. By looking at what: we’ve already got, we might discover we have the materials, information, andcreative human energyamong us to meet so many of our needs. This SWAP hopes to demonstrate an alternative meansofinteraction, getting and giving rather

than thecustomer-cashiercultural norm. TheSWAPisapartoftheBuy Nothing Day “People’s Plaza” that will be held in the Student Life Center starting at 10 a.m. on Friday November 28th, organized by a WPIRG action group. Free food and coffee, entertainment, guest speakers, public interest groups, bike help and nutrition advice will be available in celebration of this young holiday.

Buy Nothing Day seeks to promote a move toward voluntary simplicity and a creative, informed means ofconsumption. It’s a day lo promote a move away from excess and the overconsumptive practices of North American society. “Twenty-five percent of the Earth’s population consumes 80 per cent of the world’s resources,” a recent Adbuster’s study writes. This 25 percent is mainlyconcen-

trated in Canada along with the U.S., Western European nations, Australia, and Japan. Buy Nothing Day seeks to actively consider the environmen-

sporting and camping equipment. You can bring them to the Student Life Center on the SWAPPING day.Oryoucandropthemoffatthe WPIRGoffice during the weekof November 23 - 28 where they will be conveniently stored for you and displayed on Buy Nothing Day. For every article you drop off you will receive a “BND voucher” that entitles you to an article of your choice in exchange. So my green satin pants might transform into a new scarf for these winter crisp days. Come out to the SWAP. Help us return to the creative, (arguably more sustainable) wisdom of bartering and trading! Questions? Comments? Want to help out? Call WPRIG at 8884882.

FEDBack by Jeff Gordon and Shannon Bernstein special to Imprint

ave you ever watched hkihse Phce? I know, I know, it’s a stupid show with a completely unbelievable cast. Unfortunately, much likecigarettes, it’s addictive as hell. Did you see last Monday’s? Will Kyle let go? I can’t say but I’m enthralled. The problem with Melrose (apart from the acting), is the same problem I have with other icons of contemporary entertainment, like 9&X?; the characters always have cash. Now call me crazy but in the real world I almost never have enough money co drive around in a Porsche or eat at the fanciest restaurants. And let me tell you, I have absolutely no fashion sense, let alone wardrobe allowance, to pick something cool. Why Simply because unlike our fiscally responsible television role models, I have to pay for my education without the blessing of a huge inheritance or settlements. The result is debt, Generally I’m not that bad off. My Western counterpart, for example, is a lot worse off according to the Globe rind Mai/, I do, however, recognize that I am not the norm. Student debt levels in this country have increased from $8,700 in 1994 to an estimated $25,000 for 1998. That’s a problem. Some groups try to deal with this by way of mass protest. They

now throw macaroni, vandalize the legislature, yell, scream, and in the end get nowhere. We try a slightly different tactic. We doour best to work with in the framework of whatever government is in power, despite what wc may think of them personally, and try to get our objectives accomplished by workingwith them. Gettingitdone is what really matters. Such is the case with the recent Red Solutions document of our national lobby group, CASA. This document, the framework for which was developed at the conference in Halifax, is a comprehensive look at national student aid. In it, as the Imprint reported last week, we have proposed a structure for an incomebased remission program. What this basically means is that your payments after graduation are based on your income and, thus, your ability. Our plan means that no matter what happens to your financial situation, your student loan will be paid off no later than fifteen years after you graduate. The best part is that our proposal has been taken seriously. At the recent National Stakeholders Workgroup on CSL Reform, CASA presented Rd Sohtions and ourrepayment model has now been adopted by the government as one of the five official possible repayment models. In other words, a policy that students at this school developed has once again made its way into the government plan. There arc still ob-

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Academic Rights Advisors So mid-terms are over and finals are right around the corner, and my marks are. . .hey wait a minute! Where did my marks go? Is there somebody I can talk to? What better time tocome and check out the Academic Rights Advisors? We are a group of students working under the Feds and are here to help you exercise your academic rights. We have all kinds of information about Vniversity policies, appeal procedures and contacts. We can show you your options and provide support along the way. So if you want to learn more about your rights as students, contact us at extension 5951, e-mail us at fedacad@feds. uwaterloo.ca, check out our web page at http:/ watservl .uwaterloo .ca/-fedacadl ara.htm, or just drop by our office intheSLC,rm2124A(rightabove the Imprint office). AIlconsultationisstrictlyconfidential and it can only help you. Ifyou’ve got a problem with something in your academic life, give us a shout and we’ll not- only point you in the right direction, we’ll make sure you get there.

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Imprint quiz:How vain are you? by Kim Ellig, Amber Neumann and Rachel E. Beattie Imprint staff I) The hut ntw band, Putty Mouth, is phyhg FedHall. Yuuf-esiningin th~fruntmw. The gorgeous leudsingerlooks in yourdirec..ion, you: a) automatically assume that they are captivated by your dazzling good looks, and that is the reason they forgot to put in that extra “ooh” in their song. b) assume there is broccoli stuck between your teeth, if they were looking at you at all, which is totally impossible. c) figure they have fallen instantly in love with you, it must be that new Eau de Garbage perfume you are wearing. 2) Ajergettdtlg a nm Ruinw yolc: a) nod to each person you pass on the street, They don’t have to say anything, their drool says it all, forget the fact your hairdresser is in the same building as a dentist. b) creep along the shadows to the closest grocery store to find a paper bag to put over your head. c) smile smugly to yourself as you see all the people you pass jaws drop in wonder at your stylin’ Weird Al Yankovic hair (mustache included, even if you’re a girl).

mark. They must have mixed your paper up with the one by the genius sitting two rows behind you. c) become enraged because your meaningful and important composition on squirrel images in Shakespeare has received an F. 4,) After wulking outofyourm-up job interim YOU.* a) know you nailed it, why would it be otherwise, any one who knows you knows that you are the on/~ Otle good enough for the job. b) say, “there goes another job I won’t be getting, queh~rise” and break into tears. c) assume that the job is yours. They were really impressed by your three weeks of hot dog vending experience.

“B’s

by the Imprint Aries (Murch

21 - April

Mystic

1 am not

sometimes

ozm

feel

(June 21 - h/y 22) Fertile Cancer.chil,d, now would be a rotected co-op in time to

Lao (Jdj

The Federation of Students would like to thank the Waterloo Warrior Football Teamfor an exciting season that was enjoyed by all. We would also like to thank the studentbody for showing your support throughout the season.

T’s

23 - A?/g. 22) dramatic Leo time to start even your fiout and buy

li b n Y

Giving from

It’s the only way to learn.

(Sept. 23 - 06-t. 22) Go open you see is p produce, it’s grocery shop

page 13

also asked if I had ever used intravenous drugs - my arms were even checked for track marks! A final check ensured that my body temperature and blood pressure were okay (mine was high-still nervous)and the nurse left me to complete the final prescreening step: the yes/no question. In the event that you have been pressured into donating blood (perhaps by friends orparenrs)whenyou know you shouldn’tbecause you know or suspect that you have an illness, this is the step where you tell the Red Cross what to do with your blood. You will be presented with a sheet of paper that asks you to privately consider several questions regarding the safety of your blood. Printed in large bold letters on

e. If all wilted and go

No, now is nop’agqod cult. WheredoyqPuc:z r$ ” schemes? IJnless’>qo,- $’ and make a care~fl&+lock room until your exams are t.2p??i&m (Dec. 22 “Jim. Breathe seems like i now, there Take a bubb (or maybe both).

time to join a with these crazy to be the leader yourself in your done.

19) Even if life the ass right to tame it. oking opium

/bpumks (Jun. ZU - Feb. 18) Cahsthenics in ~h~~mornings might help your days flow sq~&~$.Cs week. At least make sure you’re g t’iigi;nough protein to sustain your extW w a& ktivity. Ph

robably the only n to think about ake many, many

continued

breaks.

Libra k done.

“A%

UWFEDERATIONOF STUDENTSPRESENTS:

“Who’s your Daddy”

study

19)

You’re so vain you probably think this quiz is about you. We’re surprised your inflated head even fits through the door. Seek some spiritual guidance immediately.

THANKYOU

Mostly

You think you are so hot, but knowwhat? You’re not, no one’s ever gonna give you a shot. You’re a loser baby, and someone’s gonna kill ‘ya. Seek some spiritual guidance immediately.

Voices from the stars in the basement

5) When someunasuys to gLYou look nice today, PJ p?La) get offended and yell, “What do you mean, I look good everyday!!” b) scream, “Is this some kind of cruel joke?” and run to the bathroom, tears streaming down your face. c) assume they were impressed by your trendy cowboy outfit (complete with fake handgun and plastic sheriff badge) and say “thanks Mom.”

Mostly 3) wen you get a paper back in chs, you: a) are happy that your professor has a fine appreciation of your eloquent prose style. b)wonderwhy theprofgaveyousucha high

Mostly

Hey crybaby, get a life. Big girls (and guys) don’t cry. Ifyou keep telling the world you suck, sooner or later it will be true. It’s not possible to be as bad as you think you are. Seek some spiritual guidance immediately.

(Fd. 19 - Mumh Hi! have yo Pisces devasta know the truth.

ZU) the horizon, bull-headed hey’re not f course, you

blood the page is the question: Would you want this bhod given to someone you really care about? Below this question are two stickers: one in a green box labeled “Yes,” the other in a red box labeled “No;” the stickers themselves are unmarked bar codes, and you must remove one of them and affix it to your questionnaire. Even if you answer “Yes” to this question, your blood will still be tested for a varietyofdiseases. The results will be given to you, your doctor if you wish, and in the event of a positive HIV or hepatitis I3 test, the appropriate branch of the government’s health services. I chose my sticker, threw the other into a garbage bin, and proceeded to the actual donation area.

-9

b!dyoLf know...

People actually bekevedMarilyn Manson played baseball.Hahaha! I fooled them!

Heartbreaker Gee Gee special teams run wild over Warriors ‘:’

wit;h.,,mostof The he P?BA is.snc crazy league. As.with.,,:most 1 the pro pm sp&s leagues, when. yy.&x ycu’gct d&n.the dawn.the .. matter of conduct; its much’&&@hoot as to ” mu&‘&&q&hoot how penalrieswil1 penalries~ wil1 go, This season, ~eastin, though only i’, few games old, is shaping.up with son~e SDIW intcresting~ .. oddities that jus! just make yolt you go “huh.” The big news this past week canie from I@inne~~..: suta, where five players and the team were fined for:. :. violating league rules. The. Timberwolves wei6 fmed $25,000and fmed $25,000and ~iaye.rsChrisCarr~.Rcvi,n ~iaye.rsChrisCarr~.Rcvi,n Ga.rnett, Ga.rnett, Stephan M&xxy, Ctifford Roziq a.tid Doug~West wqe each hit ‘up for $&SO& Chum$ .&a&z: retilly,: : : but what you might ask w& their crime?.Mzrst.bi” something r&es right? right? Wro&+ They’re shorts .w+re : too :. ‘, __,,:..,:: :‘;:.,;.‘: pretty

long*

A devasted Jason Van Gee1in the wake of Waterloo’s 4437 loss to the Ottawa Gee Gee’s in the Churchill Bowl. photo by Greg Imprint

Picken staff

t will be remembered as one of the true classics in CIAU football. A clash of two teams of drastically different styles: one, finesse and speed; the other, smashmouth football. Regardless of which team you were pulling for, if you were a football fan, you had to love what played out at Frank Clair Stadium in Ottawa last Saturday. Unfortunately, if you were a Waterloo Warriors fan,. that love would be tempered with more than a little

sadness. The Warriors fell to the Ottawa Gee Gees 4437 in a game that featured a lot of excitement, one of the strangest plays you might ever see, and a total breakdown by the Warriors special teams. Going into the game, the key to the Warriors victory was to shut down Ottawa’s dynamic duo of receiver Chris Evraire and slotback Ousmane Tounkara. Evraire caught two passes for touchdowns and returned punts of 97 and 43 yards for majors, racking up 188 yards in total offense. Evraire even completed a two-point conversion pass for the

by Ali Smith

an additional 99 yards on 19 carries with two scores. For the sake of one person in the stadium, it was a really good thing the Gee Gees didn’t lose the game by a touchdown or less. With less than a minute left in the first half, Ryan Wilkinson aired out a pass to Andy McGregor along the sidelines. McGregor ran into the Gee Gee’s mascot, who for some unknown reason was otl J&J&?. After a lot of discussion, and even more confusion, the play was finally explained as such: the horse was unauthorized personal on the field, the Warriors moved ahead half the distance to the goalline and had three plays, regardless of the time on the clock. On the next play, Eddie Kim covered the 22 yards to the endzone, giving the Warriors a 23-22 lead at the half.

In the second half, the Gee Gees turned up the heat, and the Warriors, having previously gone touchdown-fortouchdown with Ottawa, were unable to keep up. In the dying minutes of the fourth quarter, Phil Cote completed a 16 yard pass to Chris Evraire in the endzone to give Ottawa their fmatl lead. Waterloo’s last drive came up

Ottawa 44, WARRIORS 37 ~~$L~Z~~$~ 7 tingly, with the ball in Ottawa hands. Now thoughts turn to the future. Gone for sure will be many key players: Jarrett Smith, Kevin Pressburger, Rob McMurren, Tory Locker, Arek Bigos, Colin Alie, Stephen Szimanski, Martin Barta and Richard Riha. As well, there are a number of fourth year players who’s UW careers are up in the air. Add to that the rampant speculation over whether coach Dave “Tuffy” Knight might be back, and next year’s Warrior team could have a drastically different look to it. But that’s still next year, and there are still many things to cherish from the 1997 season. One thing that remains true, through the wins and the losses, the highs and the lows. It was a great ride. Thanks guys.

CHURCHILL BOWL

Gee Gees. Tounkara

scored a touchdown

on an 88 yard kick

off

return immediately following Eddie Kim’s second couchdown, irreversably turning the momentum to Ottawa,

I want to personally .c+nmGnd all :th& fans that made. the trek up’to C#ttqwa itit. weekend for the Churwrhill Bowl.’ 1 realiy do&neud anyone who can ” spend that much time on a Yellow Rocket bus.

hauled in 113 receiving yards and ran the ball in from two yards uut. Tounkara. the game’s MVP, finished with 357 total yards. Needless to say, the Warriors didn’t do the job. Offensivefy, the Warriors carried out their game plan, running the ball down Ottawa’s throat, and watching three players rack up more than 100 yards. Eddie Kim led the way with 140 yards on 17 carries and two touchdowns. Ryan Wilkinson, who looked to set the tone early with another 75 yard touchdown run, amassed 145 yards on only 11 carries. Jarrett Smith, running on an injured foot, gained

SPORTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, November 21, 1997

SweepHAAAAAAAAAARD! by Dean Palmer special to Imprint

Offer excludes

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unday was the annual Waterloo Invitational Bonspeil held at thewestmount Golf & Country Club. The event featured six universities, Brock, Mac, Laurier, Western, University of Toronto and Waterloo squads, with both Women’s and Men’s teams present. This field represented some of the best university squads over the past year, and some new talent as well. The three game format provided some exciting action and great shot making. On the men’s side, the final games included a

Warrior/Mustang shootout to decide the overall winner. Both teams were 2-O heading into the game. The Warriors started strong, but a couple of crucial errors in the third end proved to be costly, and Western went on to win the Gold. Laurier’s men’s team went on to win the silver medal based on two lopsided victories over Brock and Toronto. The women’s side was a much closer battle. The Athena’s started by losingan extra end battle with Toronto, but battled back to beat Laurier easily in the second game. Their third was a matchup against a strong 2-O Mac squad. The Athenas played well,

and back to back steals in the third and fourth ends gave them an easy victory. It was not enough to sea1 the gold however, as Mac had scored too many points in their first two games. The Athenas ended up with the gold, and Brock beat Western to capture the bronze medal. With the return of a Brock men’s team, and a host of new athletes, the OUA curling competition is starting to get better after a couple of years of tough times. The UW squads should fare very well again this season, and hopes are high for the Provinciais in Kingston in February.

Athena skaters iced by Lori Kidd special to Imprint

ur Athena varsity figure skating team has just returned from their first invitational competition hosted at Queen’s With six weeks of practice under their blades (two weeks for some) they set out for Kingston with quiet anxiousness. Okay, quiet isn’t the appropriate word.

by Mae Cantos Campus Ret EVERYDAY SQUASH

IS A DAY

Last weekend there was some hard-hitting squash action at the PAC during the Black Knight Squash Tournament. In the A League: Peter Olijnyk was the champion, defeating Steven Tunn in the final match, The B League Champion was Jong H. Yoo, besting Mike Healey in the finals. While in the C League, Jakob Kulesza finished first over Alex Reif in the finals. A very special thanks goes to Curtis Ryan who did a great job organizing the tournament. Thanks to all the players who participated and showed an enthusiastic attitude throughout the weekend!

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MUSCLE!

Feeling a little flabby? Want to tone up before the Christmas season and all of its goodies comes? There will be a three hour MO’stly Muscle Workshop on Tuesday, November 25 from 6:3@9:30pm at Studio 3 (Columbia Recreation Complex). Come join international presenter Maureen Rae (ACE, Goodlife, AFAA and OFC certified) for a

The seniors lead the team with their spirited cheers and chants; by mid-morning, they were the loudest and proudest team. At noon they held a strong third place but at the end of the ten-and-a-half-hour day they found themselves in sixth place out of the eleven universities competing. Queen’s came out on top with the gold medal, followed by Guelph with silver and York with bronze. Nevertheless, the

Athenas remain undaunted. They’re tightening up their laces and setting high expectations for the January invitational hosted by Gue1ph. All of the Athena skaters delivered strong performances, with the highlights being a first place finish for Ailan McKenzie in the Open Solo dance category and a third place for Shallen Hollingshead in the Intermediate Singles division.

unique cardio and conditioning workout. This class is for everyone and is offered for the bargain basement price of $25. (Sources say an average workshop in the “real” world is $45 and up.) So come on out and get in shape!

Leadersof the week

CAMPUS LEADER

RECREATION OF THE TERM

Every term, Campus Recreation select one leader who has shown outstanding leadership skills and embodied the sport and spirit of Campus Recreation. Zahra Nathoo, has been awarded this prestigious honor. Zahra has been an Instructional Coordinator for five terms, and we’re proud to have her as an instructor. An excellent organizer, Zahra has also participated in every single one of the instructiona programs. She has a great rapport with the instructors’ which fosters excellent communication among the team. Zahraconstantly tries to improve her already amazing performance. On top of her duties as Instructional Coordinator, Zahra has also volunteered for theTurnkey Desk and the Student Ambassador Association. A documentary about Zahra will air on “The NatureofThings” in early March. Congratulations on a job well done!

Kelly Mahony Kelly is a third year science student who has been a Fitness Leader for three terms. She did a fantastic job in her classes, and has taught tirelessly this entire term. Her repertoire includes: Boxercise, TNT, Interval, and Fitness. Kelly is also the Coordinator for the Winter 98 term. Andrij Wowkowdaw Andrij is an Assistant Referee-in-chief for soccer and officiated a whopping 60 games in soccer this term. Andrij always makee sure to get the job done, and when there was a shortage of soccer officials, Andrij filled the gaps. He has been a hard-working, committed part of the Campus Ret team.

IMPRINT,

Friday, November 21, 1997

SPORTS

by Chris Ed&ton Imprint staff

Randy Couture takes Vitor Beltort

he ankle has a wide range of motion and combined with weight bearing properties it is highly susceptible to injury. Most common to the ankle are strains of muscles and tendons and sprains of its many ligaments. Preseason conditioning . should include a regime of strengthening and flexibility exercises; often the ankle is neglected in both of these areas. Examples of strengthening exercises include picking up marbles with the toes (intrinsic muscles) and toe/heel raises (ankle flexors/ extensors). Flexibility of the Achilles tendon is also essential, as stiffness of this tendon has been shown to predispose the ankle to a variety of conditions including rupture. There are a large variety of ankle orthotics available to protect the ankle from an abnormal range of motion. Also available are antishock heel Iifts to guard to the mat at 15. against stress fracture often found vmlwv.~g.cotn in long distance runners or women with osteopenia (reduced bone mineral content). Sprains are common to the ankle and many people have exthe UFC’s good injury record. perienced the pain associated with The first is the absence of heavily them. Basketball injuries are compadded gloves. Gloves protect prised of 50% ankle sprains and hands, not heads. Most UFC comsoccer and volleyball injuries, petitors fight bare-knuckled, 25%. Ankle sprains are usually where blows to the head can hurt caused by severe internal (inverthe striker as much as the strikee. sion) or external (eversion) rotaThe second is that UFC fighters tion of the ankle. When the foot is can exit the match with honor at fixed on the ground and the body any time by simply submitting. Three quarters of all fights end in this fashion. This means that a fighter who is genuinely hurt is less likely to sit tight and tough it

In defense of UFC by Neil Fortier special to Imprint

he Ultimate Fighting Championship was developed with the intention of creating a place where martial artists and other combat athletes could compete without rules that favoured one style over the other. In a boxing match, for example, you are not allowed to clinch, kick, or take your opponent to the ground. In a wrestling

fight: knockout, submission and, more recently, the decision of a panel of judges. Despite these terms of competition, the most common injuries in the UFC are sprained wrists and injured hands. The haudful of injuries sustained by fighters over 150 bouts are limited to a knocked-out tooth, a broken hand and foot, a hairline fracture of the leg, and a broken nose. There are several reasons for

The Ultimate Fighting Championship is a sporting event that features world class athletes: Olympic wrestlers and judo stylists, top-ranked kickboxers, and world champion contact karate practitioners. It is a legitimate athletic endeavor and deserves to be treated as such. For more on the WFC and how to join the Ultimate Fighting Alliance, check out their official homepage at www.seg.com.

continues to move, these rotations may occur. The use of cleated shoes increases these types of injuries. In response to high, incidences of ankle and knee injury their design has been changed by lowering the cleat height and increasing the number of cleats. Another common injury to the ankle region is peroneal tendon strain. A direct blow or excessive force due toa burst maycause its tendon to slip anterior to the malleolus ankle bone. This is generally reported as a “cracking sensation” along with extreme pain and the inability to bear weight. This condition is often confused with ankle sprain as the tendon usually slips back into place, leaving no palpable signs. Fractures of the ankle are rarely caused by a single trau-

matic incident but rather from repetitive microfractures associated with low load conditions. Combined with a mismanaged sprain, such as a resuming of sport too quickly, these injuries may lead to an avulsion fracture of the fifth metatarsal (ie. the ‘little’ toe) in which a piece of the bone is pulled away by the tendon. Stress fractures are most seen at the second metatarsal and at the sesamoid bones of the great toe. These injuries are often the result of over use or an increased training schedule in running and jumping activities and are caused by the prolonged weight bearing on an extended toe. Since ankle injuries are so common to sport and physical activity, a sound knowledge of the mechanisms behind the injury is essential for prevention.

SPORTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, November 21, 1997

Athletes of the week FOOTBALL

Nov. 14Laurentian Concordia 77 Toronto 65 Laval 96 Queen’s 55 15 Laurentian McGiIl 81 Concordia 60 Bishop’s 58 16 Queen’s 66

CIAU SEMI FINAL BOWLS Nov. 15 Churchill Bowl mum 44wrrtcnloo 37 Atlantic Bowl UBC 34 Mount A. 29 BASKETBALL

Carleton Ottawa Laurentian YOrlr Ryerson Queen’s Toronto

Nov. 14Bishop’s 90 Concordia8 1 McGill 57 York 85 Ottawa 61 15 Laurcntian87 McGill 65 Concordial Bishop’s 95 16 Carleton 72

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WOMEN

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Ailan McKenzie

Western &Master York 15 Toronto

A second-year Architecture student, McKenzie topped all competition in thesenior Solo Dance division at the Queen’s Invitational on the weekend. It was her first time competing in the seniorcategory. McKenzie also teamed with Lisa Gouch to place a close fourth in the Senior Similar Danceevent.

Athena FigureSkating

3 Guelph 0 3 Laurier 0 3 Queen’s 1 3 Laurentian

WOMEN

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Nov. 12 Guelph 14 Gutlph 15 Guelph York 16 Toronto

3 Laurier 5 Queen’s 10 Queen's 4 Windsor 2 Laurier

0 1 1 3 1

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L T F ATP

8 6 2 0 49 25 84402836 8 3 4 12639 8 1 6 1 22 40

FAR WESTGPW Windsor WA Western Laurier

Guelph McGill UQTR 16 R&&or Laurentian McGill UQTR Toronto

TEAM

MEN

GP W L 1 1 1 10 2 1 2 1 2 0 2 0 2 0

52 45 52 54 42 56 74 57 43 39

HOCKEY

MEN

EAST

Bishop’s Ryerson McGilI York Ottawa Lava1 Ryerson Toronto York Carleton

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EAST Toronto York Queen’s Laurentian Ryerson

WEST Western Windsor Guelph Laurier lUiz&h &Master Brock

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3 Ryerson 3 Brock 3 Laurier 3Wd W#h (15-1, 15JJ, 15-11) 13 Ottawa 3 Carleton

0 0 2 0

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Mano Watsa Warrior Basketball The fourth-year Recreation student stepped it up_. again on the weekend, playing two great games as a depleted Warrior baskethalf team easily took the WLU tournament. Watsa recorded 17 points and five rebounds in the semi-final win over Humber College, then caught fire and scored 20 against Laurier in the finals. He added ten assists, nine rebounds and nine steals in the 95-70 win.

1 Margarita

Mondays1

~~~

Starship Starshb

Troopers

dire&d by Pa;1 Verhoeven plcsyingat th?&hd z-ikw@ KilCht?W by Greg Imprint

Picken staff

hat a stupid, stupid movie. Featuring the same dramatic intensity as an episode ofM&~~P~~c~, it may well be the most brainless film to come out this year. And yet, for some reason, it has to rank as one of the most superficially entertaining. &P-S&I Troopt~s is the latest in the ever-‘expanding line of$lOO million FX spectaculars. It’s the near future; a strange alien race is threatening humanity, requiring a collection of attractive twentysomethings to go to battle with evil insects.That’s the plot, The rest is an effects-laden slaughter. And what effects they are. The bugs are plentiful, including a couple of shots that just boggle the eyes. The space scenes are quite well done as well, if not a little overdone. The cast is mostly irrelevant

stereotypes; the rugged hero, the pretty girl who ultimately has to be rescued by the rugged hero, the tomboy who’s love for the rugged hero goes unrequited for most of the movie, the crazy guy, the brawny guy, the Lothario, and the guy who used to be Doogie Howser. What is truly interesting about&z&$ T!~LI$CS is that this big budget extravaganza is rated “R.” Normally, that rating is considered a death sentence because you lose the lucrative 13 year-old boy audience. What it does allow is a level of ultra-vioience that actually adds a level of realism to the movie. There’s blood, gore, decapitations, and worse, but it manages to drive home a message about the horror and necessity of war. SUK&” Troopeps is based on the classic science fiction novel by Robert Heinlein. I’ve never read it, and neither has the script writer. If you want to see a lot of fast-paced action, attractive young people with remarkably white teeth, and good special effects, Stmship Troopers fits the bill. No Blur though. Oh well, you can’t win them all.

stereotypes

Their flower power is no match for my glower power! That’s some nice glowering Mr Bug. Mmmm. . Lungs clearing, asthma disappearing!

Jacking off _ The Jackal directed by Michael Caton-Jones &yitgat Fai~c;Frremas by Andrew Imprint

Krywaniuk staff

hey say that a picture is worth a thousand words. Here at Imprint we usually give it a more modest five hundred words. This one is worth only two: don ‘f but%! TAeJuc~~Z is touted as a modern version 0fTheDay 0ftheJackal. There is nothing wrong with re-

more hip. But bigger is not always better - as it is in so many other Hollywood movies, subtlety is thrown to the wind in favour of nonstop action and special effects. The film this movie most resembles isspecies. A terrible monster (a cold, calculating hitman played by Bruce Willis) is being chased by gifted psychic (ex-terrorist Richard Gere). Some of the plot from Forsyth’s book still remains, but the critical cat and ‘mouse game, where each side is betrayed by its own human vulnerability, is gone. It’s not that T/re Jackalis any

Pehn+Teller: are we live?

self-portrait. Or is it? www.pennteller.com

Penn and Teller Center in the Square Rbvmber $1997 by Klaus Imprint making a film, as long as you do it for the right reasons. For example, Pointof No Returnwas not a bad movie, but it was little more than an English translation of La Fmmw IV&U, a function better performed by subtitles. 4 I suppose that The JLZL&Z~ is more modern in a way: the guns are bigger, the police are dumber and the characters are oh-so-much

worse than your standard Hollywood action movie-it’s got oohs and ahs and bangs and booms. It just seems stupid to take a perfectly good story and ruin it by applying it to the action movie mold. Go see the Oscar-nominated original TdeDay oftheJackal or read the excellent book by Frederick Forsyth. Don’t let Hollywood ruin a good story.

&eden St&f

f you missed this show, you really did miss out. Penn and Teller are two of the funniest men walking amongst us mere mortals. Not content to merely amaze with astounding feats of physics and body manipulation, they also know how to amuse, bemuse, confoun& and astound. It’s hard to give a decent ac-

count of a performance like this; magic and illusions are highly visual in nature (which should be obvious to must), so me telling you that “oh, then Penn did this” doesn’t quite capture the amazement that ensue& in the minds of most audience members. The only way to properly experience them and enjoy them is to go see them. They will confound you, not only with surreal tricks like Teller Drowning in a tank of water onstage (yes, it’s true; and it took over ten minutes for someone in the audience to say “let him out!” (which Penn found quite amusing) to cute card tricks that somehow are more than cute, in fact, they are nothing short of mindblowing. So me telling you that Teller put a rabbit into a wood-chipper, or swallowed needles, or that Penn ate fire, or split cinder blocks over his head, well, it really doesn’t capture the whole effect. Add hysterical running commentary, and you have yourself an evening’s entertainment.

Penn and Teller are master showmen who will captivate your imagination and sense of humour and won’t let it go until the final curtain. Many of us never had a chance to catch real vaudevillians at work; Pew and Teller are kings of this lost art. You will never understand just how good they are unless you watch them in action. And remember kids, don’t try this at home.

ARTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, November 21, 1997

Totally crushed out Econoline Crush rock and roll \ through Kitchener Econoline

Crush

tiQn was lead singer Trevor Hurst, whose stage presence irradiated the confidence and excitement that the band has placed on their new work. Indeed, the intensity with which the band members performed throughout the show was such that the crowd became energized to the point of becoming almost insatiable. Econoline Crush entered the dimly lit stage amidst the continuous cheering of fans, who moved in closer defying all physical laws of volume and space. Trevor Hurst welcomed the avid ‘crowd with his characteristic smile, which was followed by an almost deafening scream, coming particularly from the female fans. The band started off with “Surefire” and continued to play most ofthe newsongs almost without stopping. The distinctive electronic characteristic of their music was given a complementary

Mrs. Robinson’s November

14, 1997

by Paul Rencoret special to Imprint

-L

ast Friday night, a local bar was swarmed by a crowd of enthusiastic fans who, despite the bittercold, came out to see Econoline Crush. The concert was part of a nation-wide tour in support of their latest work entitledT%&Gl YOU Knsw. Undoubtedly, the intimacy and closeness provided by the reduced size of the local venue was a key factor which contributed to the success of the show. The unusually small stage was particularly appropriate in allowing an almost one-to-one form of communication between the band members and the fans. Instrumental to this interacw.

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Not long after they had begun playing, Hurst exclaimed “this place is really rocking!” which set the crowd into a delirious state of mind. The band went on to play outstanding versions of “Home,” “Sparkle and Shine,” “The Devil You Know,” and “Razorblades and Bandaids.” From their first full-length album Affli&on,thebandplayed “NowhereNow,” “Lost,“and “VVicked.”

onlv x

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roll= rather than a predominant one, as it is in the case of the album versions. This aspect permitted the guitars and vocals to stand out more distinctly, although the wall ofsound which emerged from the speakers engulfed the fans on all sides. Another positive aspect of the show was hearing Hurst’s voice without any distortion, providing a refreshing change from the flawless album versions.

- At this point, the fans moved even closer to the stage and began jumping frantically with extended arms towards Hurst. Although havipg the band not performing many songs from AffZction was the only disappointment of the night, this did not diminish the strength of their show. After an hour and a half, Econoline Crush left the stage but returned almost immediately to finish off with “Psyche,” a notable cover from Killing Joke. After the show was over, bassist Ken Flemming and guitarist Robbie Morfitt joined the exhausted fans at the bar while signing autographs and talking about the tour, In particular, Flemming indicated that the venue was chosen so that the energy of their performance could be shared with the fans in a dynamic way. Having previously played at Phil’s and at The Volcano, this all-ages show was further indication of the unconditional dedication of Econoline Crush to their followers. For his part, Morfitt expressed great satisfaction with the performance and amazement at the energetic response of the audience, Although Econoline Crush are presently on tour opening for The Tea Party, the concert demonstrated that the band can manage to put on a G&d show on their own anywhere.

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Didn’t win the first contest we ran? Well, the next best thing to seeing the movie is dressing like you did by winning free movie propaganda! We have ten Alien Rmrrec&y hats and ten t-shirts to give away. Here’s the catch: come down to the Student Life Centre, Room 1116, and tell us the answer to this question: Joss Whedon is the writer ofA/& Rtzsu~ection.He is also executive producer of what recent television show? First ten correct answers win t-shirts, the next ten win nifty hats. Good luck!

Bronx bombina Last Bronx Sega Saturn

by Jonathan Evans Imprint ass-whipper

010. Post-apocalyptic Neo Tokyo. With urban society in ruins, order quickly gives 2 way to chaos. The underworld emerges from the shadows and gang-rule becomes the new law of the land. Violent, all-out street battles are commonplace. In an effort to curb the quickly mounting death tolls on all sides, the leaders of each faction agree to gather in the heart of the city to settle the war and determine once and for all exactly who rules the streets of Neo Tokyo. This will, of course, be done via a fighting tournament. Sound familiar? Maybe that’s becausemeT fighting game since the dawn of time (or at least the dawn of Sega) has been based on the very same, or remarkably similar, premise. Just once, I’d like to see a game where no-one is fighting for personal glory, revenge, or the love of a heavily-pixelaceous video vixen; they’ll fight ‘cause they’re jerks and they don’t know any better. That would be cool. Unfortunately, the story isn’t the only element of this game that is sorely lacking in inspiration. For anyone familiar with Vha Fighzer(and Sega’s fighting

game history), the fact that La,ct Bronx has polygon characters driven by exactly the same engine as VF 2 comes as no surprise. It seems even a lump of cooked oatmeal is more capable of innovation than Sega’s R&D department has been lately. O.K., out with the jive, in v vith the love. Just because Last

Bronx isn’t too terribly original doesn’t mean that it isn’t an enjoyable game to play. On the contrary, the graphics and gameplay in Last Bronx is probably some of the best available in any polygon fighter. The fighters themselves are well balanced and unique enough to make the game interesting. The character’s

movements are quick and pleasantly smooth, although there is still a small amount of annoying flicker present in some parts of the game. The controls are very forgiving, and the moves are easy to execute. While we’re on the subject of the moves, let me just say that ht Brmx has some of the most visually pleasing and ego-satisfyingattacks I’ve ever had the pleasure of wreaking havoc with. In Last BT~~x, all characters are armed with weapons (ranging from the ever-popular nunchuks to my personal favourite, a devastating fifty pound hammer) which they use to dish out the misery. While each character has unique attacks and combinations which are easy for even a beginning player to master and use effectively, it is the more complex special moves that make this game. Kurosawa (the Yakuza masta killa) has a move called the “Lobotomy” that is fast becoming an Imprint legend. Joe’s “Crusher” is another classic. I can’t help smiling every time I grab hold of an opponent, wind up the old ‘chuks and smash his/ her face into the stratosphere. Oh yeah. Bottom line onlastBmnx an amusing game with cool moves but without enough new ideas to really make it stand out. An alright game to own if you don’t already have VF 2.

NBA

Action

Sega Saturn by Greg Imprint

Picken Staff

lectronic Arts is the premiere creator of sports games. They didn’t do NBA Action 98. Draw your own conclusions. NBA Action 98 is a decent basketball game, but it is far from being great. The graphics, featuringfull-polygon players, are dirty, but the players can move with incredible realism. However, when you can’t see where the ball is, who cares how realistic the game plays.

multitude of camera angles you can use to play the game. Of the roughly one-dozen angles the user is presented with, only one is actually useful for playing. Many look cool, but you just can’t tell what’s going on half the time. And knowing what’s going on is a key co success in sports. Then there’s a play-by-play commentary. NBA Action 98’s play-by-play is useless. It can’t keep up to the play, has a very limited vocabulary, and just gets annoying. NBA Adon 98 pales in comparison toother top-flight basketball games on the market, such as EA’s NBA 98. Unfortunately, none of these are available for the

lut- want USerEDs

Duke nukea . Duke

Nukem

Scga Saturn by Niels Imprint

fire button is right there and the index fingers buttonscontrol your strafing. However if you want to

Jensen stafT

hose of you who have played the PC version ofDuRe30 know why it’s the great game it is. Duke on a decent system (a Pentium) has no slow down and can have levels or alternative graphics added. Dukeon the Saturn lacks all,of this. As with all console systems, Duke suffers from the low resolution inherent in all TVs. ButDuke also suffers from very slow frame rates, something that should never happen on a dedicated gaming sys tern. The control pad lacks the fine control over movement that a keyboard has. Despite having eight buttons and a directional pad, the common functions can’t be used at the same time. For simple ground combat you’re fine, the

do anything while firing and strafing, you are out of luck. The com-

mon features, like aiming up and down and opening doors or switching weapons, require that you stop firing or strafing for a brief moment and hit the button. This make aerial targets horribly difficult to keep up with, even on the easiest setting. If you were planing to play with your friends, be warned that you’ll need a Saturn system, CD and a multiplayer adapter for each player. The final nail in the coffin is the wasted space on the CD. There is a ton of space on CDs and the only thing that Sega has added is one level, not even a whole episode. There are no intro or end movies, no alternative levels or graphics, just lots of space that Sega could have used to boost the value of the game. With all of the original features that made Duke great lost in the conversion, the Saturn version of D&NuRem 3D doesn’t live up to the legacy of the PC version,

ENERATION

Saving the ska scene by

Christopher Giesler special to Imprint

Resulting from a conglomerate of musical background repertoires, Save Ferris has unmistakably produced a sound tocall their own. Fueled by foot-tapping, finger-snapping rhythms on their recent eleven-track album ItMeans Eveqthing, Save Ferris has the inertia needed to take the North American ska scene by storm. The band’s Southern Californian-brand ska won them numerous local and regional showcases, After taking top honours at the NARAS Foundation-sponsored Grammy showcase, the band signed on with Epic in New York. Three months after their signing, the group recorded its Epic debut album, It Means Evq#hiag and soon after shot a video for the first single, “Come On Eileen.” The group consists of seven 4 members headed by the vocals of Monique Powell, and songwriterguitarist Brian Mashburn. Together, with T-Bone Willy (trombone), Eric Zamora (alto saxophone), Jose Castellanos (trumpet), and Bill Uechi (bass), the group combines sounds native from the Third Wave ska underground wit-

nessed in the Southern Californian music scene circa 1995. Their style is comparable to that of Orange County band No Doubt, however, Save Ferris offers a more refined, better-developed sound than their Californian counterpart. It Means Evtrg?hing is a direct representation of the group’s talents, evident in their varying degree of style. “Superspy” and “Goodbye” both offer a vintage and arousing sound, while ‘The World Is New” is a crisp song sure to make you bounce. However, nothing quite

by Frank Imprint

compares to the 80s nostalgia Save Ferris’ rocking cover “Come On Eileen,” the 1983 hit of Dexy’s Midnight Runners. The most accurate portrait of the band is offered by Monique Powell: “All we can do is express who we are, and we’re not happy all the time. But we do love to play the music that we play; we love to go up on stage and give everything we have, then walk off feeling absolutely drained because we gave every single ounce of energy. That’s what Save Ferris is about.”

bands. The flavour of the month is tasting pretty bland. But rejoice, oh jaded music fans, for you need suffer no longer. You want flavour? You want art? Try a mouthful of Jonathan Fire*Eater. They’re like a party in your mouth, and everyone’s invited. They’re “aaaaaaaart” with a capital “A,” and even if you find it unpalatable, it’ll probably be unlike anything your musical taste

Yang staff

In today’s disposable, threechord monte music industry, it’s easy to quickly tire of the endless shuffle of look-alike, sound-alike

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by Justin Imprint

Kominar staff

Fti-ecrackeristhe latest release from the “college music” queen, Lisa Loeb. Those of you who are familiar with Loeb’s last musical effort, Tails, are in for a less-thanexplosive experience this time around. Tails is full of great songs like “Do You Sleep?,” “Sandalwood” and “Hurricane,” that showcase her sweet voice and graceful proficiency with an acoustic guitar. Firem&ersadly falls short. The overall feel of the CD is very commercial and over-produced, a disappointing contrast to the one-woman-and-a-guitar style that Lisa pulls off so well. The gimmicky and musically unnecessary presence of a studio orches-

buds have sampled in a long time. So just who are these guys? Well, remember that guy in high school who wore all black, smoked weird foreign cigarettes and seemed togetalotofgirls(buttheywereal1 kind ofcreepy, so you didn’t really care)? Well he’s moved to New York city and started a band. Jonathan Fire*Eater are difficult to describe. Variety seems to be the key to the 11 tracks on this record. All differ in both style and intent, but are pulled together by Stewart Lupton’s beatnik yelping vocals, and Walter Martin’s circus-of-thedamned Far&a organ. One thing that can be said is that this is a dark album. It’s not Trent Reznor metal-angst, but a theatrical, “Something Wicked This Way Comes,” HP-LovecraftThe Musical smoke-filled room with velvet curtains. Imagine, if you will, Vincent Price as a carnival-barker. He beckons you closer -his voice mesmerizes, and draws you in . . *what’s that he’s saying? “Ladies and gentlemen, for one night only, thrill before the majesty of Jonathan Fire#Eater! Witness the Beck-inflected opener, ‘*When The Curtain Calls For You!” Marvel at the drama-club Pavement swing of “This Is My Room!” Tremble before ‘Station Coffee,” and it’s Jagger-swagger, proto-Stones groove! And sing along with, “These Little Monkeys!” Those damn monkeys.. . Wo,f Songs For Lamb is a thoroughly engrossing and intriguing record. Even if you don’t like it, you’ll wear your copy out, trying to puzzle out why - it’s that bewitching. Easily the strongest act on the fledgling Dreamworks label, perhaps Messrs Spielberg, Geffen and Katzen berg can be forgiven for inflicting Powerman 5000 and the Eels on the world. Well worth the price of admission.

traon songs like “Furious Rose” is testament to this. Lisa is losing her folky roots and embracing the wonderful world that is pop(gratuitous firecracker reference completely unintentional). The first track “I Do” is your stereotypical, designed-for-air-time single. In fact, it’s pretty much the same deal for the entire first half of the CD. On the plus side, there is the last half (well, actually tracks 812). The studio musicians get more and more sparse, the lyrics get less and less cheesy and Lisa manages to grind out a handful of songs that finally do her a bit of justice, including the title track “Firecracker,” “This” and “Dances With the Angels”. On the cost-benefit analysis side of things, you’re better off to buy a blank cassette and dub the few quality tracks off this CD than shell out the twenty bucks. Looks like Everclear isn’t the only band to sparkle and fade lately.

by Chris Imprint

Edginton std

Marcus Roberts likes theidea of the concept album. Last year alone he released two conceptual albums. Time and Circrcm.rtuprce tracked the progress of love expressed only through Roberts’ piano, accompanied by bass and drums alone, while Po~ru~t~ in Bitie found Roberts backed by a full classical orchestra doing their takes on Gershwin classics. This year’s release, bruRF@ the nbw millennium, certainly leans towards his previous orchestral work, While the Gershwin release had a more classical feel to it, this disc touts a brassy backbone. Thirteen artists back Roberts in his jazzy exploration of yesteryear’s biues themes, almost all of which are brass. The record is a big band record, and the line between controlled rhythm and chaotic melody is thin in places. In many of the pieces, Roberts affords his artists a freedom to take the music in their own directions. One particularly c haotic track, “jungle blues,” runs from the solo Roberts’ piano through to the mayhem of nearly all the brass interpreting the music individually and back again. It’s precisely this interplay that drives the record throughout its entirety. Marcus Roberts has produced a record

that fully

utilizes

his own

musical sensibilities while at the same time exemplifjring the talents within his backing musicians. blue f0f t/le fla millenni24m certainly takes some time toget used to, but giventime,itsmanysubtletiesshine through its transient disorder.

IMPRINT,

Friday, November 21, 1997

by Mike McKay special to Imprint What can we expect from a Patti Smith album? Perhaps raw and politically challenging vocals with a standard guitar, drum, and bass backdrop. Obviously the strengths of a Patti Smith album are.. .her vocals, Smith has influ-

by TJ Imprint

Galda staff

Ever heard of a band called Portishead? Their live bass player, Jim Barr, teamed up with ‘Jesse’ to form The Invisible Pair of Hands. Disparan’on is the band’s debut album. Like Portishead, it is a loose mix of psychedelia, hip hop and funkwith subtle undertonesof jazz. In fact, on a few tracks, one could easily be convinced that they were actually listening to Portishead, especially with all the guest appearances of band members.

by Scott Preston Imprint

sta.E

More music from the movie that many have grown to love. The liner notes explain: ‘This album includes more of the original music in Trainsp&ng, plus all the direct connections - music that inspired the film-makers or has been inspired by the film.” Music inspired by the film. . .hmmm, where have we heard this before? Here is a weak explanation ofwhy Joy Division was included on this album. “Danny was born in Manchester. He always wanted Joy Division in the film.” Do these reasons seem a little bit weak to you? They should. This album is a desperate at-

enced many an artist, in many different fields (not just music) and this is why she is respected as a musician and artist. In all honesty, buying a Patti Smith album for the music alone would be a waste of time. This is not to say that Peace aPsdNo&e is a poor musical album; it is very, well, average. Smith will notberacingupthechartswiththis album, unless her hardcore fans of previous decades come to her rescue and all purchase several copies of this new album. Presumably,

Born out of a jamming session, this al bum is lively and fun, and has an addictive side to it. One is left eagerly awaiting the next twist and it only takes a single listen to become a fan. The same refracted musical vision that gave birth toDscmmy is evident here, as the title track “Disparu” and “Oil Oil Oil” take oddball trips to the pharmacist’s, As many turn away from the repetitiveness of today’s mainstream and look for some variety, the future of electronica is becoming brighter and brighter. The Invisible Pair of Hands seizes this opportune moment to release their sounds and have done everything but disappoint. If you’re looking for a quality CD to add to your collection, this is it. Truly a rarity these days, so pick it up and enjoy.

tempt tocapitalizeon the populariry of the movie and the wonderful first album, and with this lineup, they don’t stand much of a chance of making any more money. Three songs from this album are the same asthefirstalbum,withtwoofthem being re-mixes that should not have been attempted. Do we need a remix of Iggy Pop’s “NightcIubbing” or another version of “Born Slippy” by Underworld? Defmitely not. Leftfield’s ‘A final hit” is also included for some reason, probably because it’s a pretty cool track, Is it necessary to include it on #2? No. There are a few cool songs that are on this album which didn’t appear on the first soundtrack, such as Underworld’s “Dark and Long,” (the song from the scene where Renton is freaking out in his bed) and Sleeper’s “Statuesque.” Other than those, this album is void of any substance, and should be avoided. Even if it’s at a used store, it’s better to pass it over.

ARTS Smith made this album as a tribute to a friend and influence who has passed away. This influence was of course William S. Burroughs, and Smith dedicates her album in memory of his works. f%wceandNoise is a good Patti Smith album, but in all honesty Smith will probably never release a “bad” album, or at least hercredit as a rebellious artist will always carry her. Smith is an artist to be respected, however her music is difficult to enjoy. Therefore, listening to the album becomes a bit more of a chore than a pleasure and that’s not what most people are looking for in music. Certainly songs like “1959” and “Spell” are good, but they don’t really move the listener in the way that a Patti Smith song is traditionally supposed to. The highlight of the album has to be “Memento Mori,” an improvised in-studio jam that pays tribute to the late Burroughs. As long as Smith continues to put out albums, there will be people to listen, but they might not be as entertained as they once were.

25 Based on a novel By Carl Sagan FROM THE DIRECTOR OF

‘FORREST GUMP’ STARRING

Jodie Foster Matthew McConaughey

CONTACT (A Speciul EFkts Gus, especially dropped into the time machine

when Jodie gets tube thingy!)

TWOSHOWINGS! futesbow.“*.sufuf~y NOV.22 ut I MOM Matime....Smduy NOM23 at Z:OO?M ?3i@iGGJ * 6 Princess St, W Waterloo 885-2950 -

Do you plan on sharing your

career with infants, toddlers, pm-school, or school-age children? by Graham Imprint

Dunn staff

It’s unabashed Britpop. It’s a candy-coated razor blade. It’s a screaming domestic dispute oucside your window at 4: 13a,m., cunningly remixed by C hris Lowe and Neil Tennant so that you might consider having a tiny dance-about, rather than throwing a large pail of water out said window. Goo&yt is Dubstar’s followup to Disgfactt$#~Z, their debut release. Despite Rob Steel’smutantbaby-dolls-in-jars cover art, this release has received attention based on its musical merits, with comparisonstoSt,EtienneandThePet shop Boys being thrown about. Combining traditional song writing structures with dance beats, and combining them well, is what is getting Dubstar accolades like “perfect pop for the 90s” in N.ZZ and Mehdy Maker. GO&&V is a bit of a retrospective, containing the band’s first few singles (“Stars,” “No More Talk” and “Anywhere”), as well as some newer material about Life Being Sad (their term). The man behind the melancholy is Steve Hillier (programmer), who writes a good chunk of the songs along with Chris Wilkie (guitar). Sarah Blackwood (vocals) also pens the occasional tirade, “Just a girl she said,” regarding men who do the bulk of their thinking just below the belt. The slick production comes courtosyofStephenHague, who’s done work for the pop elite, such as Pet Shop Boys, New Order, Blur, James, Electronic, Erasure, etc. ad nairseum. Goodbye is gazing up at a freezing synth-pop night sky at The End of it All and remembering scenes from your life as the stars go out. And being able to dance to it.

Childhood Education faculty and the students at Conestoga College invite you to an informal evening to discuss your career as an

The Early

Early Childhood Educator Applications are still being accepted for the Early Childhood Education Program beginning January, 1998. Call to confirm your attendance at (519) 748-5220, ext. 765

Come and find out more Wednesday, November 26 7:oO pm - 9:OOpm Doon Campus, Room 2All-1

Conestoga College 0

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Rooms for rent in a 3-bedroom house. Near universities, as heating, basic amentities. $325 & /month/room. Call 725-5348.

Has school torn you away from the one you love? Read “Loving Your LongDistance Relationship” by Stephen Blake and find out how to sta in love while being apart. Only $9.991 &k for it at your campus bookstore, Chapters, Smlthbooks, Coles, or on the intemet at www.sMake.com. &mMkz;ion the way you may be eet? help. Reach for hope. For free and confidential help call Birthright 579-3990.

The Lyric Nightclub in downtown Kitchener. Bus trips, special events and birthday parties every Saturday. We offer recession prices, FREE concerts, Free VIP lounge, FREE food, FREE prizes and free access to Metropolis Night Club, located across the street. You, your organization or choice of charity can make lots of cash! Call 749-2121 -ask for the Manager and we will help you organize your event. Are you taking german? Would you like some extra help in speaking, learning and practice. Price is $8.00 per hour. Pleas8 call Claudia at 576-I 227. Free shuttle bus to the Lyric Nightclub on Saturday nights. Leaving from University Plaza at lo:45 p.m., 11:40 p.m., 123Oa.m.. Returning 1:45a.m.and2:10 a.m. If you don’t hear us on the radio. .. hear us at www.eyerhyme.com. New progressive rock!

Daytona Beach Spring Break ‘98 - support the party from $99.0(). Book before November 31/97. Call Dwayne/Brad 8867567 or l-800-962-8262

LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE Prep on campus PREP! Course formats range from 20 to 80 hours. 20 hour weekend couTs8s available for $195. Richardson or Since I979 - www.prep.com learn Q prep.com or I -600-41 O-prep.

GONE MISSING: Sandi McGiver alias the Dancing Turkey Flower has been abducted. Last year our turtle went missing. Needless to say that we would like them returned to the Turnkey Desk, no questions asked. If at any time someone has the n88d to Spend time with the turtle or Sandi McGiver just let us know ...we can lend our prize possessions out. Contact Nancy O’Neil at the Turnkey Desk. Rooms in the Village Residence are available for immediate occupancy. Inquire at the Housing Office, Village I or phOn8 888-4567, ext. 3704 or ext. 3705 for further info on the villaaes. Guided self-change of alcohol use: for ’ individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counselling Services, ext. 2655 to find out more. The KW Sexual Assault Support Centre is holding a series of 6 workshops on ‘Anger: part of the healing path” for I women survivors of child sexual assault. Tuesday evenings from October 28 December 2/97. Offered in a rural location and free of charge. For more info or to register, call 571-0121. Scholatnhipfundsareavailablethrough

ring Break & New Years! Travel Tl F EE by organizing small groups to Montreal, New Orleans, Florida and Mexico. We also have great ski trips! Call 8reakaway Tours at l-800-465 4257, ext. 310 for FREE promo kit. www.breakawaytouts.com. Babysitter wanted - Regina and Noecker area. Children 3, 5 & 8 yrs. Hours vary, us8 of computer while sitting. Call after 5 p.m. 888-0123. Computer Hair, KW’s unique Hair lmaglng Salon, is looking for models. The only requirement is shoulder length hair or longer. Successful applicants wiil receive a FREE computerized hair makeover. Call Computer Hair: 5710557. Earn FREE and cash! We are a university travel company specializing in packages for students. We are needing representatives. Spring bresrk destinations are skiing-Alberta/BC or sun in the Carribbean, Mexico, Florida. Call Lloyd collect at 416-760-8437 or email: lwatson Q tohq.newcourt.ca. Reilef Staff to work with individuals with developmental challenges. Expe rience, minimum8-month commitment. Send resume to Don tvlader, KVV Habiiitation Services, IO8 Sydney Street, S., Kitchener, Ontario, N2G 3V2, Company in Toronto is looking for a 3rd or 4th year mechanical engineering student to work part-time during the week or weekends. We are tooking for astudent who is interested in designing and redesigning existing equipment. The successful applicant must be motivated and flexible. Travel opportunities may be available. Please forward your resume in confidence by fax (416) 233-2300 or mail to “Mechanical Engineering Position”, 55 Six Point Road, Toronto, Ontario, M82 2X3. Fund-Raisers required! Earn $9./hour working with others on door-to-door fundraising program for local charity. We work evenings and Saturdays. Transportation provided. Phone 7475850 anvtime. Certified part-time ski & snowboard instructors required for ski area located close to Waterloo. Contact: John Peters, Program Director at Caledon S’ki Club, telephone (519) 927-9975, fax 927-9974 Of e-mail (519) skirusQ interlog.com.

trips

Triplex for sate - University and Erb. Income: $1,71 Olmonth. Fully leased to reliable tenants. Call 664-0235.

the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America’s PROJECT: Learn MS ‘98 Essay Competition. June 5, 1998 is deadline. To obtain registration form and info call I -8OO-LEARN MS. Queen Elizabeth Silver Jubilee Awards for Study in a Second Official Language. Several $5,000 scholarships are being offered to undergraduate students across Canada to study at another Canadian university in their second official language (French or English). Candidates must be Canadian citizens or permanent residents, currently enrolled in the second or third year of their first undergraduate university program. Students must have sufficient ability in their second official language to pursue studies in that language. Application deadline is January 30, 1998. For further information and application forms, contact

the Student Awards Office.

Waterloo Community Arts Centre located in the Button Factory offers classes & workshops in Visual Arts, Dance, Music and Writing for adults and children. Call 866-4577 for info. Rentson Cdlege is now accepting residence applications from undergraduate students for both the winter and

The Ret PatsProgram is currently looking forvolunteersfor wheelchair hockey on Saturdays at 2:30 p.m. at the small gym of the PAC. For more info. call Charina at 746-4039. The City of Waterloo Volunteer Services (M) is currently recruiting for the following volunteer positions: Volunteer Drivers: are needed to drive older adults to and from a senior day away program. Volunteer Shoppers: ate needed to assist older adults unable to do their own grocery shopping. Must have reliable transportation. Wonders of Winter Volunteers: are needed to assist the Christmas Light Festival at Waterloo Park. Positions available include: Chair of Volunteer Committee, Ceremonies and Special Events, Advertising and Promotions, Concessions Manager, Display Chair, and Fund Raising Chair. Telephone Security: needed to phone isolated seniors. A 2.5 hour per week commitment is required. Office Voiunteers: are needed to assist with receptionist duties such as answering phones and assisting customers. Volunteer tutors are needed to tutor students on a one-to-one basis in written and oral English. Tutors meet students on campus, usually once a week for l-2 hours for 1 term. If you have a good working knowledge of English, are patient, friendly, dependable, and would like to volunteer, register at the International Student Office, NH 2080. For more info about the program, call ext. 2814 or e-mail darlene G3watservl . Big Sisters requires female volunteers (20 years and older) to make a positive difference in a child’s life. Next training sessions commence Nov. 8/97. Call 743-5206 for info/register. Leisure Support Servicesrequires volunteers for exciting new track and field team for athletes with disabilities. One evenindweek for 8 weeks. Call 741Waterloo Girt Guides wants energetic, enthusiastic young women to be leaders for all ages (5-14 years), within the university vicinity. No experience needed! For info call Ann at 746-2662. Volunteers are needed to tutor students at a secondary school in Saden. This is an ideal experience for anyone wishing to get into Teacher’s Coliege. Call Bill Bond at 634-5441 between 8:00 am - 4:OOom Aquatic volunteers are needed to assist adults and children with disabilities. Will adapt to your schedule. Receive free pool pass. Waterloo Swimplex, Breithaupt Centre and Lyle Hallman Pool. cali Deb 74% 2226.Volunteers sought to assist individuals with a disability at recreation pro-

spring trms in 1998. for further info contacct the Residence Office, Renison Colleae at 884-4404. ext. 61 I Exchanges to France or Germany for 1998-99; awards of $1,200 to undergraduates and graduates. Deadline January 16,1998. Forms available from Maria Lango, IPO, Needles Hall, room 3015. . Distingished Teacher Awards: to nominate your outstanding professor, lab demonstrator, or teaching assistant for the Distinguished Teacher Award, contact TRACE, MC 4044, ext. 3132. Deadline is Feb. 6, 1998. The region’s waste reduction office asks all residents to keep Blue Box and cart recycling Safe. K88p snow and iC8 cleared from around your recycling container. Ensure that your recycling container is visible and placed at the end of yor driveway for easy access by the recycling drivers. Snowy weather has arrived! Please help the City of Waterloo keep the sidewalks clear of snow for seniors, wh8elCh&s, disabled and all persons in general. Please shovel and keep cars off streets so snowplows can do their job.

grams. Be a Leisure Support Volunteer. Great for course r8quirements or job exoerlence. Call Deb at 741-2226 Assist a 4 year oid boy with a disability to participate in a craft and playtime program. Saturday morning 1O:OO am noon. Training and support provided. Call Deb at 741-2226. Gain valuable work experience. Explore leisure activities with group of adults with developmental disabilites. Friday nights 7-1 Opm Call 741-2228 inner City Neighbourhood Aseociatlon needs volunteers to distribute, collect and analyse 60 surveys for space inventory, assist with Drop in Program for pre-schoolers/parents/caregivers, and to assist with drop in sports programs for teens. Call Mary Ann, 744261 7. Prueter Public School (Union-Lancaster area) needs volunteers to work in classrooms or with individual students. Call Jane Home 578-0910. Boy Scouts of Canada needs you! Leader and volunteers are required to help run our weekly events. if you enjoyed the Scouting movement, please call Sonia at 885-4744 and help our young kids! Big Brothers of Kitchener-Waterloo needs volunteers for one-to-one matching or group activities. Call us today at 5794 150. Lexington Public School is looking for volunteers to help in classrooms and to work with individual students. Please Call 8riaitta at 747-3314. Interested in the arts? The Waterloo Community Arts Centre has numerous volunteer opportunities available. Call 886-4577 or drop by at 25 Regina Street, South, Waterloo. Volunteer needed to spend couple hours/week with elderly women with Alzheimers. (very meaningful study break) In exchange for a meal. Please call Jennifer at 886-5377. lf you are interested in any of the following volunteer opportunities, please contact Sue Coulter at the Volunteer Action Centre at 742-8610. Quote the position number at the end of the description when you call. Please visit the Volunteer Action Centre’s website at: http:// www.wchat.on.ca/public/kitchener/ vacfiles/vac.htm .. . Clinic Assistant: #I91 -1833: Working with seniors, this agency is seeking a special person to assist with a variety of duties at a foot care clinic held at different locations in Waterloo Region. Drivers and Shoppers: #058-203: This agency is looking for warm and sincere people to assist seniors with shopping errands and in getting to and from appointment. Also needed is a Ukrainian speaking person to visit and assist a senior who is new to the area. Big Rothers and Special Events: #006-

27: Do you have a few hours a week to share some laughter and fun with a boy from a father-absent home? Male volunteers 19 years of age or older, are needed to provide friendship for boys 614 years old. Or if planning and organizing events is of more interest join their fundraising committee and share your expertise. Fitness Ambassadors: #052-2143 to 2147: If you are physically fit and would like to participate in fitness events, assist with organization and promotion of the program, this agency has several challenging opportunities. Physical Therapy: #085-271: If you have training and experience in this field, and would like to volunteer to assist cognitively and well seniors with range of motion exercises on a one-toone basis, this agency needs you. Share the Warmth: #189-2152: If you take pleasure in helping the needy at Christmas, volunteers are needed to help with the Coats for Kids program and in the Toy Centre. The UW 0ffice for students with disabilities is looking for students to volunteer as “Peer Helpers” for the Winter Term. Applications can be picked up in room 2051, Needles Hall.

SUNDAYS Outer Club Kayaking - presented by the Outer’s Club members in PAC pool from 8 to IO p.m. Boats, eqiuipment provided ; beginners welcome ; $3.00. Practice strokes, rolls, get wet, have fun! MONDAYS Duters Club Meetings - Environmental Studies 1, room 221 at 7 p.m. Discuss and plan outdoor adventures. Get help with organizing and equipment (rentals available). Day trips happening every weekend. CHECK US OUT! WEDNESDAYS Come to Grace Christian Fellowship for an at cost supper, singing & Bible study, 4:3Op.m., McKirdy Hall, St. Paul’s Cottege. Call Tim Uyl883-0435 WEDNESDAYS Pascal Club meets at 12-tpm in SLC 2133. A faculty, staff, & graduate student reading club with a Christian orientation. We will be reading “the Act of Bible Reading, A multi-disciplinary Approach to Biblical Interpretation.” Other faiths and undergrads also welcome. contact: Chaplain Graham E. Morbey at Chaplains off ice SLC 2 I 26, ext 3633 or call 864-I 970 ext.2739. THURSDAYS Students Advising Co-op weekly meetings ace at 5:30 in Needles Hall, room 1029,

HAVE A HEART CLEAN YOUR WALK

Thanks for making life easier for (Y)OUR NEIGHBOURS by removing the ice and snow from the sidewalk in front of your home! A BIG HEARTFELT

THANKS!

but a

MMX166

MMXl66 or

LEASE

$53.0l/MO.

$1,545 or

LEASE

MMXzoo

MMXZM $3,865

MMX233

MMXmo

$1,395 SYSTEMS

11111

$1,665

$58.7l/MO.

LEASE

Ffi nTM

563.27l/MO.

PRI EpR a =IA ” =”

4vv

LEASE

$60.6I/MO.

LEASE

$66.3l/MO.

LEASE

wstem

GUARANTEED! _

l l

not l l l l

MCSystems Fbature:

be exactly

._...-

TX MB 512KB Cache

”

$70.87/Mo.

Buy and enjoy your ECO” System TODAYand if the price of an euuivalent ECOTn drops at all before December, 25,1997, IBCwill refund iou the differhe. GUARANTEhi

Heatsink and Fan Mid Tower Case 3.5” Floppy Drive 104 Keyboard Mouse & Pad Windows 95 Version II

as shown.

$300 WORTH OF SOFTWARE!

ENCYCLOPEDIA

--.

$1,995 or LEASE

top Replacement Notebooks

$75.81/MO.

TX MB 512KB Cache

Heatsink and Fan Mid Tower Case + 3.5” Floppy Drive l 104 Keyboard l Mouse & Pad l 2 BOW of Diskettes l Printer Cable l l

SpecialSystemlbatures:

ENCYCLOPEDIA

512Kb Cache 3.5” floppy Orive 3 PCMCIA Slots

windows

l l

95 Version

lf you’re a cowboy, and you’re dragging a guy beh#Mi yuw horse, 1 bet I1 would really make you mad if you &tied hckand the guy was reading a magazim . &you

hmw tihat happeis when you cui a fir hali Someune gets really mad al you.

axe some sajmp