1998-99_v21,n26_Imprint by Editor Imprint

Election ‘99 - a picture is worth 1000 words photos by Kieran Green and Janice J!m

Yes,1did inhale.

Uh God, what am I doing here?

ChrisBuchanan *bendsover” for students.

When1seePaulMartinI’mgoingtowrap my handsaround his neckjust like this! ClvisFalleywithrunningmateFrosty.

I’m not drunkrlcanstandononefoot without holding onto.. . oops!

Wbyyes,Iamgoodlooking.Thankyou forMicing

00000.. . am I ever smart!

We’re

paying attention. . . really. . .

. . .andsoarewe.

And thewinnersare... by Melade

Kramer

/mpn’ntstM

ntroducing next year’s Federation ofStudents representatives: Christine Cheng, a fourth year Systems Design Engineering student, won the position of President. The other winners were Veronica Chau as VP, Education, Chris Harold as VP, Internal, Jason Risley asVP, Student Issues, and VP, Administration and Finance acclaimed by Josh Doig. And what an election it was. Not only was voter turnou t four per cent higher than last year at 16.66 per cent of all students, it was also the first full-ticket sweep in UW history. Cheng, Chau, Harold and Risley all feel that their joint win will help to make them strong team players in the upcoming year, While voter turnout at UW averages between 16 and 23 per cent, this was a definite improvement over last year’s 12 per cent. The winninwandidates commented 00 all of the support they had from students. Cheng stated, “The people who helped us were fantastic!” Chau added, “We’ve already bought about a hundred thank-you cards.” Other winners felt their competitors ran extremely strongcampaigns (Matt Popovich’s posters were cited as just one example). When asked if they felt if they couid back up their own strong campaigning, Risley declared, “If we can make it through campaigning, we can make it through anything!” Other candidates seemed to feel that their opponents were deserving winners. Chris Farley, noted, “If I had to lose to anyone, I’m glad it was Christine.” Brian Benson stated, “I fyou want something bad enough you’ll get it. Jason put on an incredible campaign.” Mike Moore wanted to thank everyone who supported him in his bid for VP, Internal, and David E by expressed his congratulations to everyone who won. So what do the elected Feds plan to do when they first take office May l? Their plans are var-

Sure,they don’t hate eachother. . . yet. photo by Janice Jirr ied, but all are looking forward to working together in the next year. Cheng noted the importance of getting to know her fellow representatives as both people and friendsand deciding on some team goals. Josh Doigagreed and added that he would like to “clarify the books and try to simplify them for everybody.” Veronica Chau feels it’s important to “get people ready to vote again in June-in theProvincialelection.” It was noted that the student vote is important so that pro-education issues can receive

lots of support. Chris Harold wants to get out and start talkingwith students and working with them as soon as possible. Risley wants to “get a service coordinator training workshop undetiay.” As for the referendum questions, students voted overwhelmingly against both improvements on the Bombshelter and the creationofacapital Investment Fund. When asked about the response, President-elect, Christine Cheng, felt that students were voting

(Total 1Harold

307 141

332

269

429

173

198

147

222

ITotal

195

319

263

417

177

against higher fees, not against the improvements themselves. She also predicted that basic repairs for the Bomber would have to come out of the Feds budget, while aesthetic improvements would have to wait. All in all, despite a few hiccups it was a fair campaign. Congratulations to all who won.

167

1719

119

286

164

461

News: North Campus finally being developed ...................... ; Forum:Theyloveit;theyloveitnot ............................... Features: Five steps to self-love . . . . . . . . . . +. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Science & Technology: Prof goes into orbit ........................ Sports: Warrior basketball shoots for a win ......................... Arts: This art show is for the birds ................................

30 7

19731 12zl

21051

4 8 I2 15 17 21 .

NEWS

IMPRINT,

Friday, February 12, 1999

What-Park? D

*OneofthefewstudentswhotooktothepollsonTuesdayandWednesday $odecidewhowouldbethe nextFederationofStudentsexecutive. photo by fanice jirn

evelopments a r e afoot. Developments, that is, for a “research park” to be located on UW’s north campus - between Columbia and Bearinger Road. What exactly is a research park and how does it benefit UW students? The proposed development, known as Watpark, plans to inclupe compa1 . . . . rues mvolved m different areas of . technological research. There are three phases identified in the plan, resulting in close to 1.25 million square feet of build-. ings. UW has approximately 700

acresofland on North Campus and the proposed Watpark, with no buildings

taller

than

4 stories,

would take up about 200 acres. One company that has already expressed

interest

is Mortice

Kern looking

Systems, a local company to relocate its headquarters. But UW is still searching

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Career Opportunities Thursday, February

for large, international tenants to anchor the development. Globally active tenants such as IBM or Yahoo would help to ensure the longterm duration and success of the development. The hope is to have an anchor tenant who is willing to commit to a 10 to 15 year lease identified bySeptember30Nore important to UW students is how it

srapic courtesy

*will affect them. On the bright side, it means the possibility of more local co-op jobs. It may mean more jobopportunities forgraduatingstudents and more placements for graduate students. If all goes well, it may even mean the creation of some revenue through the land lease in the long term. However, some students, particularly non-co-op students who are not involve;d in technologyrelated studies, may not derive much benefit from this development. What students would benefit more directly from is the creation of more classroom and lecture space. Fortunately, Watpark does not preclude this type ofdevelopment. Indeed, one of UW’s guiding principles regarding Watpark states that it cannot cost the univer-

of WatPark Development

Conswtium

UW will lease the land toa developer, and the developer will lease to tenants. Yet UW will maintain the right to approve potential tenants. This will help ensure that the companies are research-based and sity any money.

interested in encouraging connections and affiliations with the University.

Thus

UW will still have

money it can spend on the creation of more academic buildings. When asked if Watparkis designed to help maintain Waterloo’s status as a leading high-tech university, Feds president Christian Provenzano, said “Yes, it’s totally fair-to say that.” Associate Provost, General Services and Finance, Dennis Huber believes that the motive is more general than that. Hecontends, “Ifwe have a success it will be good for the whole universi ty.”

Day @ CYBERplex 18, 1999

You have a background in Computer Science Enginwring, <Project Management, Professional Writing, or Design. You know the potential of tnternet E-Commerce. You know all about the software development industry. And you have the skills, experience and bright Ideas to excel as a: . Website . Internet

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President

James”Jimmy”Downeyleads an “entourage ofscissorhands” to the ribbon atV1 on Friday,February5,to

~arktheCrand~peningoftheVillageOneCentralComplew.Renovationswere~entlyfinishcdontheareawhich Headquartered m Toronto Hallfax and Raletgh. NC

with Development

Centres

In Waterloo

Toronto,

Montrral.

attempts to integrateactivitiessuch aseating, watchingIVand laundry into the’kasual [student]lifestyle.“Downey noted that this proposal happened in two short years.Impressivefor a universitywhere “thingsusua1lyproceed with all the speedofglaciation.” With the successofthis project that “adds to a ’60sbuilding all the necessitiesof what about the rest ofthe buildings? studentsofthe2tstcentury.“Ithastobeaskedphoto

by Ryan Chen-Wing

IMPRINT,

NEWS

Friday, February 12, 1999

Engineers and toboggans

YOUR CAR'SHOMEAWAYFROM HOME

man in a red devil costume walks by a bar that serves margaritas. A couple were dressed as if they were to visit Gatsby himself talks to a couple of surgeons. There were even some folks painted in silver and gold as if they were from Olympus. The question one must ask is, “Has yours truly finally snapped after all these years of studying mathematics and is ready to be taken to Belleview in a straightjacket?” Luckily, the writer is not insane (yet). On February 6,26 teams from 23 universities presented their technical reports to the judges of the Great Northern Concrete Toboggan Race. From red devils and white angels to flappers and gangsters, the displays had their fair share of characters. The most interesting of all the display was from the University of Maryland’s “Terpuila Sunrise,” a team who served a mean margarita and allowed people to sign their bar. However, the best technical report ended with a deadlock between the University of Manitoba Traumaboggan and the University of Waterloo Ice Dragons. Overall, this event was enjoyed by all the contestants and even a few non engineers. On race day, the temperature was a balmy4 degreescelsius with a strong wind that picked upduring the second run. Still, this did not

#AWARD

TheUWConcreteTobogganteamshowsoff theirhardwok photo by Janice Jim logical design.” As for the innovations, Morris alluded to the smooth concrete (very important for the sled to have a clean run), the simple design for the brake (using the weight of the riders to sink into the snow), a good little camber to prevent the sled from flipping over the bank and two keels to keep the sled straight. Second place went to Carleton University’sThunder and third was handed to ficole Polytecnique de Montreal’s Que bet Superstar. As for the University ofWaterloo, the Ice Dragons had a fair showing with first place in best concrete mix and best aesthetics. Overall, the contestants had a great time in Waterloo. Next year’s competition will take place either in Regina or Victoria andwaterloo will be there fighting.

knows +

Lcacock’s Sun.s&~~ S&&s of a Little Thw. After a seven-game round have no idea robin, Waterloo Alpha was in first ou probably place with a 6-I record. Close bewho David Thorsley is. Well, maybe you should. hind was Western, also at 6- 1 after having lost to Waterloo. Waterloo Thorsley lead Western’s Kokomo Dragons team to an easy vicBeta, Ottawa, and Witness Retory in Saturday’s inaugural Calocation Project were tied for third with 4-3 records. nadian Quiz Championships (CQC). The Dragons fini shed The quarter-finals saw the the tournament with an overWaterloo Alpha team beat the “Western Beta” team (which all record of9- 1, andoutscored was really three Waterloo their opponents by a margin of 945 - 305 in the playoff round. players and one Western player) 190- 100. Thorsley The Championships, titled “You Don’t Know Wat?“’ and the rest of the Western by organizer Zhan Zhou, were team crushed Waterloo held here at UW. Zhou, a thirdGamma 295270, Witness Reyear computer engineer, de’ location edged by Ottawa 165 scribed the tournament as a 120, and Queen’s needed “resounding success” and double overtime to beat Wahopes to “boost awareness of terloo Beta 170-160. Both semi-finals featured the trivia community in decisive victories, with the Canada.” I rv~~ur,,)rcur0l3facethetoughquestions. embarrassing n Teams from the Univer-L-L- IDy All*I. n ,-, a# Dragons pIlO f-ha Queen’s 400-9 5, and Witness sity of Ottawa, Queen’s UniRelocation showing Waterloo versity and the University of Alphawhoowned thecampus, Western Ontario descended upon alumni -Mark Hrycyshyn, Dave Bjerkek, Michael Tipping and 155. Western’s Kokomo Dragons the hliathematics and Computer Luke Lindsay - threw together easily handled WRP, defeating buildingSaturdayafternoon, along them by a score of 250-140. with the Water100 Physics CIub’s an unofficial team. They’re hoping to be officially ratified as a club As a result of their victory, Witness Relocation Project (WRP) by September. Describing the Western has been invited to a and three teams from Waterloo questions as “moderately diffiNational Association of QuizTourQuiz Bowl. cult,” the third-year electrical ennaments Nationals in Ann Arbor, The IJniversiry of Toronto .I. . . XT1 gineering student, says he “reads a Mlchlgan. We would llke to wish was unable to send a team for a lot,” most recently Stephen them the best of luck. varietyofreasons(dysentery,adate,

FACTORY TECHNICIANS

TRAINED

ACURA

2685 KINGSWAY DRIVE,KITCHENER prevent the hardy engineers from sliding down a treat herous course. The University of Maine began the race slowly, but the team from Hell(a.k.a. Calgary)set the benchmark for the rest of the squads. However, the best team to run the course was the University of Manitoba, who challenged the rest of the teams with a time of 13.16 seconds. The closest team to this mark was the-Carleton Thunder. Overall, the University of ManitobaTraumaboggan ran away with this competition, taking first place in best braking and best spirit, second place in top speed and third place in best concrete mixand best aesthetics. When asked about the secret toManitoba’s success in this year’s competition, Mike Morris stated, “We showed a lot of team spirit and our sled had a simple,

Western by Paul Schreiber Lm@ntst-

WINNING

a funeral and an exam). In an post-tournament interview, Thorsley told Imprint that this was the team’s first tournament. “We wanted to get a club together,” he said, so Thorsley and four other Saunders High School

a..

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NEWS

IMPRINT,

Friday, February 12, 1999

Auto giants support Engineering Formula racing

e Formula SocietyofAuEngineers tomotive (SAE) competition isone ‘bf many in cercollegiate design competitions sponsored by the SAE and the “Big Three” in the auto business: Ford, General Motors and Chrysler. This particular competition involves the com-

#...;;’ ..._. v

plete design, construction, testing and competingofanopen wheeled race car smaller than Formula 1600, but way bigger than any gokarts out there. In recent ‘years, the Formula S14E Team has enjoyed a string of top results. These culminated in a seventh overall position in 1998 at the annual competition held at the Silverdome in Pontiac, Michigan last May.

I Such success does come at a cost - literally, cash. Building a new car every year fur the past four years is the foundation upon which the team’s success has been built. This is a costly endeavour, to say the least. Until recently, this appeared to be the biggest challenge facing the 1999 team. Over the past few weeks, the tables have turned, thanks to, in part at least, an old company in new

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shoes. Decoma International Inc. hasveryrecently become the I999 Formula SAE teams’ Title Partner and is very enthusiastic about the close partnership they wish to create with our university and particularly the Faculty of Engineering. Decoma International Inc. has only existed as such since March last year when the company went public on the TSE and NASDAQ. Prior to that, Decoma Exterior Systems was a wholly owned subsidiary of Magna International, a name you are more likely co recognize as one of the world’s largest global automotive suppliers, not to mention fastest-growing. Decoma International tnc: is a full-service supplier of exterior vehicle appearance systems for the world’s automotive industry. They design, engineerand manufacture exterior fascias and related components, assemblies, modules and plastic body panels for cars and light trucks. They employ more than 4,500 people in 14 manufacturing and kngincering operations strategically located in Canada, the United States, Europe, Mexico and South America. Sales were $656.2 million for 1998. This growth has meant an increasing number of co-op and

graduatepostingsforUWstuder&. So next time you come across the name Decoma International on a job description, you might want to seriously consider them. They have a reputation for providing good work terms and excellent opportunities for growth within the corporation. Their involvement in the FormulaSAETeamisonlytheirlatest move in an effort to forge a much closer relationship with the Universtiy of Waterloo. Ifyou would like to know more about Decoma and Magna, do not miss the Magna Corporate Evening, to be held on February 17,5:00-7:OOp.m. inDC1301 and 1302. For further information on either Decoma International or the Formula SAE Team, please contact Criffer Castleton at cu.3&2un@ zrw~~t&~o.cu, or drop by the Formula SAE room (E3-2 107 x5904). We arecurrently recruiting individuals for the year 2000 team, so please contact us if you would like to get involved. Tn the meantime, please join me in welcoming Decoma International and thanking them for their support of UW’s engineering student design projects. We hope to see even more of them in the fucure.

Grading the svstem d

by Hugh

speciaf

Sandfer t0/mpdM

1 once had a studentwhoearned 69 per cent in my class, but through the Arts grading system received a 68 per cent. This student needed one more percent on their average’ to stay in their program, and there was nothing I could do,” exclaims Pat Aplevich, a UW French professor. That statement encapsulates the concern of the different grading system at the university. The faculties of Arts, Environmental Studies and Applied Health Studies are all based on a letter grading system. Engineering, Science and Math are all numerically based. The letter grading system means that marks are based on ranges, where the numeric system means the mark you earn is the mark you will receive. Professor Aplevich goes on to express concern with regards to scholarships. “The highest possible average a range-based student could receive is 95 per cent, while a numerically based student could, theoretically, earn 100 per cent. Due to this, when it comes ;o national and international scholarships Arts, ES and AHS students stand at a disadvantage.”

Kenneth

at the Office

Needles edges tremely “I find system

Lavigne,

Registrar

of the Registrar at Hall, readily acknowla disadvantage for the exhigh performing students. the idea of having a uniform to be attractive,” explains

Mr. Lavigne. Although nothing has formally been proposed, Lavigne points out that the issue has been discussed before. “One way to avoid the discrepancy would be to create an uniform system for the entire university, such as adopting the Grade Point Average system,” suggests Lavigne. He goes on to point out that this would aid with consistency across the university and clarity for external viewers of the grading system, such as potential employers through the co-op system. Not all people at the university necessarily agree with uprooting the established grading system, Paul SchelIenberg, Associate Dean for Faculty of Mathematics Undergraduate Studies, is one of those people. Schellenberg does not agree with creating a uniform grading system just for the purpose of uniformity. “Neither systemis.inherently better. Grading is subkctive it is difficult to assign percentages to said essays or papers,” Schellenberg. Aplevich agrees. Her concern is with courses in the three range based faculties that are more exact, such as language courses, Econ 101 and Kin IOO. Sometimes range-based students benefit and sometimes they do

not.

The

fcciing,

hawcvei,

that when it comes down to needinga specific average for a specific objective, they would rather be left to their own skills than to a rangesystem thatcan hurtasmuch as help.

IMPRINT,

Friday,

February

Campus Question. by Michael Zepf

“The

NEWS

12, 1999

What wouldyou call theneiulyrenovated Village OneCmt.al Complex?

’

“Corkboard

Pit of Despair.”

Hamster Pens for You!”

“V-wonderful.”

“Shagville

~2.0.”

Tomas Lin 2N Computer Science

Emily Bruner 3A E&S

Nader Iskander ZA Science

Tom Furmonczyk ZB Atis

and Clinton

“Brent Hughes (of previous Campus Question Fame) Village.”

“Mano Watsa Residence or The Student Sucking Money Pit.”

“The House of Ruck or R.E.P, The Ron Eydt Palace.”

“The magical land of trolls with no lives.”

Denny Dronmstekas Ill Arts

Mike Downing 4N EngZish

Red Dog Grad

Nathan 4NAm

Saliwonchyk

If yesIwe’vegut scmtfiivlg fur yvul Volw-kw for the positionuf Studept Life 101 3~ cmrdivlatorl Thisis your apportmity to helpfirst year shdevlts hme a positiuetmvlsitim to whersity life, PickLAP m applicatim iv1the fed Office, hpplic~tiavlDmdlivl& fri, feh 12, 99

We’re chmyivg everytfiivg yuM kvmw dmbit SAC (Stbidevltsh&iskg Our meetkg5 are vpevl to everyme & are field every Wodw5day ivl the multi-purpose rmwl, SLC at 4:3Oph UVI WCC/,feh 24 we will ho votivlg to decide the fuhwe of 5AC! Get out, get ivlvvlved avd w&e a difference to Cu-up!

Cu-up)l

Lee

t is a sad fact that we have come tr expect and accept gimmicks from ou politicians come election campaign time. Shaking hands and kissing babies i the mental image we get when we tall about hustling votes. Jean Chretien appears on Much Mu sic. Bill Clinton piays the saxophone. Bori Yeltsin gets on stage and dances with a rocl band. We’ve seen it all, realIy - the thing people will do to get elected, What bothers me more than the obvi DUS gimmicks, however, is when politi cians turn issues into gimmicks. They cre ate.an issue or play on an existing one it’s an issue which never concerned then before and which they will probably neve care about again, but which will win then wrne votes. It’s called playing to the crowd The most obviouscurrent example o this tactic is Mike IIarris’ new hype ove the (non-existent) wave of adolescen crime threatening our society. Accuse Dalton McGuinty of “not getting tough or crime?” Spare us the Americanisms! Okay. So we take this kind of thin& from our public politicians as acceptec behaviour. In the smaller, more shelterec Environment of our universities, where supposedly our nation’s best and brightes gather to engage in intelligent debate, 1 think we have the right to expect a little more from our student leaders. During this campaign, we have seer 3ne candidate wandering around campus shaking hands while accompanied b) someone in a snowman suit. Another pail 3f candidates went into classrooms wit1 Freshly-baked fortune cookies containing “Vote for me’notes. It’s those kinds 01 :hings that put us down at the level of hi@chool popularity contest elections. What really gets my goat this year is he way certaincandidates have played to, lnd around, Imprint. Any student politi:ian on this campus knows very well that [mprint’s press deadline is Wednesday light or Thursday morning at the latest. inythinghappeningafter that won’t make t in that week. So I think it is no coincilence that after Wednesday, February 3 - the day we put together what would be he last issue before voting - suddenly hings took some startling new twists. Prior to the aforementioned Wedneslay, rhe various candidates had remained airly low key. There were few radical ltatements made and positions on issues ike the referendum remained vague. Then, on Thursday, February 4, an :vening forum was held in Village 1. Out rf the blue, Veronica Chau is suggesting hat she wic’lcut external duties to focus nore on internal - directly contrary to vhat she had said earlier in the week. several candidates, who had remained on he fence over the referendum, werei=omng out strongly on the No side. Chris Tarley declared that he agreed withxhe No ,ide, that the Feds were guilty of financial nismanagement and misleadingaccountng practices. These candidates were playingto the :rowd, secure in the knowledge that Tmbnt

couldn’t

nail them

for their

hypoc-

isy before the vote. As Mr. Stevenson said, ‘the ultimate indignity to the democratic mcess.” And highly innappropriate for miversity student leaders.

She loves

I fail

you. . . .

n response to Kirs ten Amin’s article, Fmeinto ime, I’d like to say a few words. There’s just way EOOmuch generalization going on here. Although I (and probably a few other boys) find Valentine’s Day slightly disheartening because of the unattached thing, it really has nothing to do with not giving relationships a fair chance, lamenting that “all the good ones are taken,” or proving happiness by being single. Valentine’s Day simply glorifies couplehood. And that’s great - for couples. But for those of us (boys) who aren’t in a couplesituation, Valentine’s Day simply reminds us of this fact. For some of us, who are trying to get into the couple situation, it’s very difficult to find the right person for which to share this relationship. The plan, at least for me, isn’t to find just anyone to go out with, but to find someone that I want to got out with. This being the case, actually being in a relationship isn’t the difficult part, but getting into that relationship is. Okay, fine. Relationships do involve hassles, but not always because we play too many video games or make bad choices of holiday gifts. I’m just tired of being portrayed as one of these stereotypical boys who doesn’t spend enough time with his girl and instead spends all of his time watching foot ball. 1 haven’t played computer games in years and I can’t stand watching football. I’d even go so far as to say I hate watching football. I think the idea of watching TV when I could be spending time with a girl is insane, and I’m sure I’m not the only boy

with thisopinion. I think it’s just too bad that there are actually are boys out there who give the rest of us such a bad impression. Kirsten, I’m not sure what kind of boys you like to hang out with, but I can assure you that there are other kinds. Also, not all of us single boys are out to prove how happy we are being single. Sure, being single is great. I’ve got my independence. But being double is greater. I have no problem with admitting that last statement. I don’t sit at home trying to justify why I’m single, or even sit at home at all. And drinking a cold beer? There we go with the stereotypes again. I can’t stand beer; I think it’s pure bitterness in a can. In fact, I don’t drink at all. And get this: I have a clean room, and I actually have food in my refrigerator! I’m sure you find that hard to believe. You’re probably thinking, “Wow! Boys like that actually exist! This must some fantasy dream world come true. I wonder if he’scute. He’s nothing like the boys I know. . .” It’s time to move on. Enough joking for now. Later in the article is a reference to boys wanting relationships because of the “stayoven.” This may surprise you, but some boys are actually into “worthwhile relationships of substance” and not simply interested in stay-avers. I, for one, happen to like phone-talking, dessert-eating, and friendmeeting-

Some

of us are looking

for that

thing called love and not just a fling. Anyway, my point is that it’s really not a good idea to go around making assumptions about single boys just because they’re single. This sort of stereotyping is what causes people (i.e. girls) to believe that reladon-

ships aren’t worth getting into in the first place. And this of course leads to more single boys. In my opinion, we want to minimize as much of that as possible.

. . . yeah . . .

irst of all, I’d like to thank staff for providing such diligent election coverage. I preciated the insights provided

theImprint detailed and certainly apby the inter-

continued

to page 9

IMPRINT,

Friday,

continued

from

February

page 8

VkWS.

a completely different in regards to the Free- full into love article written last week, I have a few remarks. The argument provided in chat article, in my opinion, was a bootstrap response. Ifyou’re a guy and you’re bitter about St. Valentine’s Day, you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and find a relations hip. Essentially, if you’re feeling lousy that you don’t feel included in this little holiday (and you’re not a mere sex-crazed pervert) then get over it and join the club. However, bootstrap arguments don’t address the root problem; why does our culture celebrate an obscure, de-canonized saint? It’s hard to admire a holiday when it’s soaked in commercialism. The original intents ofchristThanksgiving and mas, Hallowe’en are at least observed by a minority. Valentine’s Day seems to lack that distinction, There is no “core” set of observers of Valentine’s Day. Christians generally observe Christmas, North Americans observe Thanksgiving and Hallowe’en is a pagan (no negative connotations implied) holiday. But that people, by the sheer virtue of being in love, gain some status and become worshippers of St. Valentine defies these cultural norms. This is not to say that a day shouldn’t be held that celebrates love and romance. Christmas and Hallowe’en can be seen as a celebration of agape (love of God/gods) and Thanksgiving can be seen as a celebration of philia (brotherly/sisterly love). ThisValentine’s Day, like any holiday, take a moment to consider it. Why are you celebrating? How are you celebrating it? What does it mean to you? Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be hollow, but without these considerations, it is doomed to further irrelevancy and commercialism. topic,

(IBALD), or, if I’m lucky, forget aboutValentine’s Day altogether. This is why Ms. Amin’s article irks me so. She seems to believe that myselfand guys like me don’t even try to fmd relationships; like there are billions of potential girlfriends out there just waiting for me to call.-Now I’ve never actually tried to telemarket myself, but I can guess the results. Maybe I am giving up before I try, but can you blame me? The point I’m trying to slam home with all the grace of a drunk like Mike Tyson on rollerskates is that Ms. Amin should take another look at the guys she knows, and guys in general. Surprisingly, guys are as diverse as women in their beliefs, likes, dislikesand attitudes. Don’t shove us all into a big bin marked “beer-swilling bastards”; some of us don’t even like beer.

raise the Lord the truth has come out! Can someone give her [ Kirsten Amin] a medal! Come on now, all you men out there know that when it comes to having a good old relationship you want to run the other way or when the girl ofyour dreams ain’t all that she’s a bitch, or even better, you refuse to date someone nice because your old girlfriend really broke your heart. With attitudes like that, no wonder you’re alone. Not all relationships are perfect, not all ofthem last forever and not all of them end in bloodshed, Sometimes you have to take the chance and put it all on the line. So what if it does not work out, that’s what Prince Charles said and now look at him. He couldn’t be happier - good job Camilla. So what ifyou’re ugly, fat, stupid or a virgin, there’s someone for everyone. Just give love a chance.

yeah . . .

his is a response to Kirsten Am in’s rant ~~~-$&/into Imt? about guys who complain about Valentine’s Day because they’re unattached. I’d like toadvance the notion that at least some of those guys are complaining because the committed, sharing, loving relationship they’re looking for is infuriatingly out of reach. Perhaps you’ve guessed that I’m one of those guys. Well, yes, I: am. Let me give you a little background: I have plenty of female friends, but I’ve never had a girlfriend;I’m a “nice” guy, butapparnot very attractive,

Feel

free

to laugh at me, I know I am, although my laughter might be a bit more bitter than yours. I used to see Valentine’s as a day of hope, but I’m older now and a bit more realistic. Now I celebrate International Bitter and Loneliness Day

something. If that doesn’t suffice, then think about it in terms of another old saying, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Good relationships are hard to find, but they’ll never be found if you hide from them. I don’t want to be hurt. Again. It’s happened to everyone who’s had relationships. The bad breakup, or even just the bad relationship, and you were hurt. To this, I offer the analogy of riding a bicycle. Most people, when learning to ride a bicycle will fall. As they keep trying, however, they learn from their mistakes, and eventually they have the joy of having the wind flowing through their hair. I’m happy enough alone, Humans are social creatures, and as such, we have an inner drive to meet others, no matter how much we suppress it. If we were meant to be truly alone, then we would be asexual creatures. When I think of asexual creatures, the first thing 1 think of are snails. How much fun are snails having? Though, if we were asexual, most of us would probably never leave our room (on a side note, perhaps some Waterloo students have managed this miraculous feat and that’s why they never leave their room. . . ). Basically, in the path of life, no matter how hard a person tries, they’llcome to a situation they can’t face alone. It’s far easier to have someone there, someone you know and trust, to continue the journey. Relationships are never easy. But then again, things that are worth itveryrarelyare.It’smybeliefthat out there, somewhere, there is someone for everyone. Ifyou close yourself off, then there is no chance for you to meet that someone that completes you. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and while card companies are rubbing their hands with the thought of the money, think about stopping with excuses and giving another shot at relationships. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

Love To all the girls loved before

To the Editor,

ently

FORUM

12, 1999

the

little

tory towards those who are under the age of 19. We understand that Fed Wall does not make any money off of us, but that does not mean that we should be treated unfairly. As students (who pay money every term to the Feds), we feel that we have the right to be treated equally to all other students, no matter what age they are. The Federation of Students is supposed to work for everyone at UW, and we-are outraged at their behaviour towards the minority.

online version of Imprint every Friday for my fix of campus gossip. Imagine my dismay to find that the beloved Prez-O-Matic was missing from last week’s election edition of Imprint Online. Perhaps this year those of us off-campus looking to make the “informed choice” will have to simply vote for those candidates from our own faculties, or the ones with the cutest campaign photographs.

Kudos Lovers a dangerous

to Lana

in time

s a “brown” girl going out with a “white” guy, I would like to ask people to stop generalizing about fans of hip hop. Both myself and my significant other listen to 107.9 and 107.1; he likes Snoop and I like Bryan Adams. Neitherofushaseverhitanyone over the head with a beer bottle and it’s not in our plans. And finally, don’t lump dance and hiphop together. It is simply a sign of your ignorance and hostility. Find out the reality before you wrap yourself in racist attitudes.

Go with the cute pictures

sa Waterloostudentcurrently away on a work term, it has been a habit of mine to surf the

his letter is in regard to the article‘*LivePage . . . it’s fun if you can afford it,” in the February 5 Imprint. To Lana Williams, thanks for the great coverage in last week’s Imprint. While it is true that the suggest&d retail price of our product may seem rather expensive for a university student, most LJWstudents and faculty Can readily obtain it free of charge. LivePage Corporation has a uniqui= relations hip with the University of Waterloo. UW has a site license that allows faculty to use LivePage Enterprise for teaching, research and administration free ofcharge. Furthermore this license also covers the use of LivePage Enterprise by UWstudents fornoncommercial projects. Paul Snyder or Carol Vogt of the IST Department would be the contactpersons if faculty; staff or students are interested in obtaining a copy of LivePage Enterprise. There is also a free version found on our web site 4#~:// ww&ivefiQge.cam, which is accescontinued

ones

I’ve

fter readingFree-$&int ~QW, I realized something about myself. I must admi t, I have fallen into the trap of “It is safer in my own little world,” and have rationalized it with various reasons, but hiding in a shell solves nothing, Here are a few of the excuses I’ve used in the past. See if any ofthese apply to you. f don’t want to be hurt. Good relationships require a lot of vulnerability on both sides. It’s the only way people can learn about one another. How is the other person supposed to realize you really enjoy something if you don’t tell them? If you believe in what Nietzsche said, then what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, If the man had enough guts to say that God is dead, surely he had some greater vision and realized

ast Thursday, we decided to go to Fed Hall for Boys and Girls Night. As 18-year-olds, we went to the underage lineup, which was relativkly short compared to the regular line. After half an hour, t6e bouncers were not only swearing at us, but physically pushing us back. As time passed, we saw that the overage line was moving steadily, while we stayed in one spot. After half an hour of barely moving and standing behind smelly bouncers, they announced to us that they were not allowing any more minors in, despite the fact that we were first in line, and only had four people behind us. However, they continued to let the 19-year-olds in. We came to the conclusion that Fed Hall sucks! Not only were the bouncers rude and abusive, the managers are discrimina-

“1 think she wants ~OI,L*

to page 11

FORUM

-E

ver since I came out of the broom closet to friends, family, acquaintances, et cetera, the question most * .frequently asked of me is “why Wicca?” I suppose the classic response would be, “why Christianity?” or “why Judaism?” I can’t say why everyone chooses a path like mine. I can briefly go into why1 chose it, and why I think it is a good one. Community: Everywhere I’ve gone, the Wiccan/Pagan community has been a great bunch of people. To illustrate, in my home town of Ottawa, there is a Pagan brunch every other Sundayat arestauranton BankStreet. New people show up every weekend, and are welcomed. Some of the attendees are large, tattooed, rather scary looking people at first, but within an hour of meeting these people for the first time we were exchanging hugs. Where else can you do this? Tolerance: On the same note, Wiccans are a very diverse group, and we like it that way. Black, white, gay, straight, computer programmer, factory worker, taxaccountant or starving artist, Wicca draws people from all walks of life. In addition, there isn’t a lot ‘of infighting between different denominations of Wiccans (although a little bit is unavoidable). Wiccans will debate about the specifics of their religion for hours, then agree to

bjection: Accepting contradictions is no big deal. Reply: Not Toaccept contradictions is to reject the Principle of Non-Contradiction (PNC), the principle of logic that no claim can both be trueand nottrue at thesame timeand in the same sense. d Strictly speaking, PNC cannot be proved because PNC is foundational to logic .and thinking. Attempting to prove ,PNC requires us to assume as proven that which * qwe are seeking to prove, Iwhich is to commit the fallacy of question-beggi ng. Nevertheless, it js a big seems quite reasonable to offer an indimtdefense of PNC. How? By relying on PNC long enough to allow us to have a look at what would be the case if we attempted to abandon PNC. (Note: We needn’t be embarrassed at this limited question-begging since the opponent of PNC does it too when he or she ‘relies on PNC to argue for, or assert, the rejection of PNC). I Consider, then, the following fictional 1 dialogue between A and B, two disciples of ‘the philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich : Hegel (this dialogue is from Harry Gensler, i FormalEthics [London: Routledge, 19961, 1pp. 36-37): A: Are you still a follower of Hegel? B: Of course! I believe everything that he ‘wrote. Since he denied the law of noncon-

disagree and worship along side one another. Participation: Wicca is not a sit back and watch rehgion. You won’t spend one morning a week sitting in uncomfortable clothes and listening to someone eIse speak. Wiccan ceremonies have no audience, everyone is a participant. More than that, you won’t have a pre-established world view pressed on you. Becoming a Wiccan involves a lot of reading, studying, and developing of your own perspective, It is a religion that encourages independent thought. No proselytizing: Wicca doesn’t seek converts. Never will you hear a Witch telling someone they need to be saved, or they will suffer an eternity of torment if they don’t embrace the “one true way.” If anything, Wiccans make darn sure the people who do join the faith know precisely what they are committing to. There are no missions; there are no prayer camps; in short there is no cultural imperialism in Wicca. The world needs more people like this! I won’t claim for a minute that Wicca isn’t an unconventional path. Some even claim it isn’t even a real religion. Despite all this, Wicca and other Pagan paths are some ofthe fastest growing religions in the World. Considering the merits outlined above, this should be no surprise,

. tradiction [a.k.a. PNC], I deny this too. On my view, P [where P is any proposition] is entirely compatible with not-P. A; I’m a fan of Hegel myself. But hedidn’t deny the law of noncontradiction! You read the wrong commentators! B: You’re wrong, he diddeny this! Let me get my copy of 2% Science oflogic. A: Don’t get so upset! You said that hedid deny the law, and I said that hedidn % Aren’t these compatible on your view? After all, you think that P is compatible with not-P. B: Yes, I guess they’re .

Accepting contradictions deal.

cY~~l~Z~aren’tl E{ff~~~[~;.s;;~

compatible, and I said that they urea 7. Aren’t . these twocompatibleon your view? Recall that you think that P is compatible with not-P. B: Yes, I guess they’re compatible. I’m gettingconfused. A: And you’re alsonufgettingconfused! Now, consider the religious realm, for some more confusion. If you accept contradictions, then the following are logically compatible: Martin Luther King’s religious teachings against racial segregation and the Afrikaner religious teachings in favour of apartheid; the dwtrines of any major world religion and the claims of the Heaven’sGate cult; the truths of God’s Word and the lies ofsatan, et cetera. Surely, accepting contradictions is a big deal.

IMPRINT,

rIoday

one of my lectures was interrupted by loud chirping. Someone had a big, black bug in their pocket, I think. It needed feeding. It sang loudlymuch to the embarrassment of its owner - until it was brought out, stroked and appeased. The professor was annoyed by the disturbance, but he was also amused that someone had brought their bug to class. “SoYmeone’s too important for their own good,” he said as a smile crawled across his face. Maybe he had a pet bug, too, but kept it secret. He obviou’sly didn’t bring his pet, bug to class. I’m eating dinner with a friend of mine when our conversation is interrupted by chirping from the next table over. So the girl there takes out her bug at the restaurant table, and pets it. And then a few minutes later, the man that was eating dinner with her takes out his bug. ’ I think the two insects must have been talking to each other, because the people weren’t talking to each other anymore. So my friend and I peer over at the table. Disdain and scorn rides sparkling in our eyes. “I would rather talk to a person than talk to a bug,” we thought. I notice a beetle is dozing in the waiter’s outstretched palm. He tickles it gently with

Friday,

February

12, 1999

his thumb and it unfolds its wing from its dense body. He coaxes its thin, capped antenna to extend fully. “Here you go,” he says. “Mmmm. Turkish delight,*’ I say to him, mesmerized. The bug’s bright eyes gleam at me soothingly, and it chirps loudly when I touch its underbelly, so that everyone around can hear. When I am done, I carefully fold its delicate wing under its tiny black

Deep inside a dark pocket, a beady set of z;r;f;E it to his pocket eyes blinks. slyly. _-

Where rI\he

is all Our

Water

Going?

increasing destruction of the world’s aquatic ecosystem is causing water scarcity and a global water crisis. By the year 2025, as much as twothirds of the world’s population could face severe water shortages. Transnational corporations believe they have the only answer to this dilemma - the privatization and cornmodification of the world’s water. Each year companies like Lyonnaise Des Eaux of France meet with influential politicians and thinkers to advance their mutual interests. Canada holds 20 per cent of the world’s freshwater supplies and the push is on to get in on the ground floor of this businessopportunity. Global Water Corporation, a Canadian company has already signed an agreement with Sitka, Alaska, to export 18 billion gallons per year ofglacier water to China. It will be bottled there, in the infamous free trade zones to save on labour costs. The company’s brochure entices investors “to harvest theacceleratingopportunity.. . as traditional sources of water around the world become progressively depleted and degraded.” At what price will Canadians pay to privatize our water supply? In England and Wales, where water services were privatized in the late 198Os, locals watched their rates soar, water shortages have been severe, and thousands of low-income people have had their water disconnected, raising serious concerns abou t public health consequences.

“Bugs don’t belong in a theatre, or in our library,” people say solemnly. But I laugh quietly when I hear a bug chirping loudly in an otherwise quiet place, as the owner shares their ephemeral terror with me. I delight in the frantic scene that plays out in front of me, as the insect screams impatiently for attention, and it’s slave fumbles to set it free. A dense cloud of winged insects darkens the sky above my head. I peer up at them. They hover. They don’t know it, but I’m ready for them to invade. I’ve got the antidote and I’m set to be injected. Deep inside a dark pocket, a beady set of eyes blinks. The creature stirs and sleeps in waiting. Soon.

France, an earlierconvert to water privatization, has had similar experiences as they watched corporate water giant, Lyonnaise Des Eaux, reap in huge profits, enough to buy up the second largest water utility in the U.S. On December4,1998, Sun Belt Water, Inc.,ofSanta Barbara, became the third U.S. company in a year to launch a lawsuit against Canada under the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA). Sun Belt is suing Canada because of an earlier British Columbia decision preventing the company from exporting billions of litres of freshwater from B.C. to California. Demonstrating the extent to which business will go to privatize and export Canadian freshwater abroad, the case highlights once again the power of foreign businesses over Canadian law. Canada already permits the sale and export of bottled drinking water: ‘However, the Nova Group from Sault St. Marie wants to draw up 10 million litres of freshwater a day from Lake Superior and- the McCurdy Group of Cander, Nfld., would like to export 52 billion li tres of water a year from Gisborne Lake inSouthernNewfoundland. This kind of large scale trade of water may qualif+ itasacommodity for exchange on the international market. Under NAFTA, Canada could lose control of its freshwater once it becomes a tradable commodity. Many questions arise about the sale of our water least of which is who is going to benefit, thepeopleofcanada, orthedroughtstricken nations and the poor? ,

IMPRINT,

Friday,

continued

page 9

from

February

succeeding attempts manipulate students into spending more money at the bar, puking and crying girls in the washroom and the ever present askhole whose erection has temporary blinded his judgement, I choose not to attend Fed Hall Thursdays. I am certainly not a raging feminist, nor am I a frigid bitch and yes I do shave my legs (sometimes). All I want is to be able to walk alone at night, see a male prof withouttheconstantreminderthat the door must remain open, and to desire consented sex without being a “horny girl.” But unless attitudes such as the ones displayed at Fed Hall last Thursday are changed we will always live in a world where disrespect is tolerated.

sible to anyone. Thanks again for the excellent piece.

drunken

flock of erections

was recently allowed the pleasure of attending Fed Hall’s two dollar drink, Girls ‘n’ Boys Night. Great music, decent lighting but unfortunately a walking, talking advertisement for rape. “Are we gonna get fuckin’ pissed tonight?” was the DJ’s ohso-cool phrase of the evening and let’s not forget, “Are you fuckin’ horny?” and my personal favourite, “Let’s hear all the horny girls scream!” Now last time I consulted my common sense the assumption was that women usually don’t liked to be called “horny girls.” But unfortunately with a few drinks, selfesteem and self-respect diminishthe result, a herd of screaming horny girls. Fortunately my friend the DJ, the wit master that he is, reminds the attending boys that horny girls mean their prospects of getting laid are rapidly increasing - the result, a flock of drunken erections. A charming situation, not to mention a dangerousone. The DJ continued these clever chants throughouttheevening,undoubtedly to increase the sales ofdrinks. I don’t feel comfortable with the promotionof mixingsexand drinking as method of boosting sales. 1. am appalled that the Feds would allow such an ignorant individual to influence people with impaired judgements. I am sad for the girls who screamed, horny or not: you degraded yourself and the entire sex. Because of the DJ’s obvious

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VP Internal no barrel of monkeys

was reading the election analysis on the VP Internal position, and noticed that it was insinuated that a trained monkey could do my job. In response to that comment, I would like to share with you some of the activities for which I have been well trained. My office is a chaotic zoo. There are people constantly hangingaround, asking questions, itching for answers. I am well versed in the happenings of the clu bs world, and can spew out answers to any questions someone might have. In fact, I am usually at my best when interrupted during lunch or on my way to the ladies room. Chairing the Committee of Presidents (COP), is no problem if you follow a few simple steps. Firstly, not everyone on campus believes in this group and the few individuals who do care, will al-

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ways show up to the meetings. Secondly, rotate the meeting schedule, and at some point you will be treated to pizza and beer at Poets. Finally, create one agenda and use it all year, as they hardly deviate from it. Feds publicity. Does anyone care? Wait, I’m sure the weekly ads I put in the Imprint would be well missed by their accountants. The Cultural Caravan requires the VP Internal to be somewhat creative. Once you get the clubs interested . . . that is after a billion tries, the event will start to take shape. The clubs make the food and provide the entertainment and all the VP Internal has to do is run the show. No problem for anyone who is trained in running a circus. T?id ???zoenlx is an easy project for the VP Internal. Hire someone like Mike Downing, use students’ artwork, get Graphics to print it up and you’re got your student art initiative done for the year. Perhaps, if you are lucky, you might get agroup of students who want to do something really different, like make a movie. Although the VP1 position is not as glamorous as some of the other portfolios, it is one of the most visited by students. I hope that when you voted this week, you voted for the person you thought could be a ringmaster rather than a trained monkey.

More from the barrel’

hroughout the course of the Federation election and referendum campaign period, a numberofdifferent issues and ideas have been discussed. For the most part, I’ve found the debate interesting and productive. A few things have been said

though, that I find verydisappointing. A number of serious charges have been made in reference to the proposed $2.00 Capital Improvements Fund fee, and the ensuing underground campaign due to the disqualification of the “No” committee. These charges merit response, not because they are credible, but because their implications, if perpetuated, can be harmful. Among other things, it has been alleged that the Federation employs misleading accounting procedures, and that the Federation has attempted to skew the results of the referendum. The Federation has had, without question, financial problems. However, it is important to separate the past from the present. It is fair to say that we’ve experienced a level of mismanagement and inaccurate budgeting. It is unfair to say that we are currently involved in such trappings, and even more inappropriate to charge that we have used “misleading accounting procedures” to deal with said problems. This accusation implies a serious level of intentional misrepresentation that implicates your Executive Board, your Board of Directors, and your Business Manager in irresponsible and illegal behaviour. I can personally attest to the conscientiousness and care displayed by your Vice President, Administration and Finance and your Business Manager. Your Board of Directors is composed of the executive and six other students, and has also worked to keep your interests paramount. Even if all of these people disregarded their function and misrepresented your interests, our auditors wouId find serious problems. The Federation is audited yearly and has never, as far as I can

tell, been reprimanded for its practices. The reality is that the Federation is not a simple body to maqage. But I assure you that the peqpie I have listed have worked harp, and with integrity. The second issue I feel compelled to address involves the insinuation that the Federation disqualified the “No” committee of the Capital Improvements Fund question to perpetuate its own agenda. Some important distinctions need to be made. The “NO” side was disqualified by the Referendum Committee. Both the Referendum committee and the Referendum Appeals Committee are ratified by Students’ Council and function wholly outside the Federation Executive. We have no influence or control over their decisions. The dissemination of ihformation, to which you have a right, depends on representationofboth sides of the issue. However, there is a clear distinction to be made between information and defamatory statements. The Federition is an open place. If you would like to see the financial statements, we will show you. If you would like to understand the accounting practices, we will explain them. This is your student union, and we will in any way facilitate your participation.

Pa&l, Rachel Houlihan Features ..

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Be vour own comfort creature step

1 -

One last try

Step

Dig up all the phone numbers you have readily available. These do not include relatives, employment numbers or doctor’s office (unless you’ve got a thing for stethoscopes). Give those numbers one last go for the team, you might get lucky. Oh yeah, forget that 967-l l-l 1 number. She was justa-kidding. If step one fails, proceed to step two.

Step

Self

graphic

by Mike Habkher

Final

Step

3 -

The happy three

Palmer

to fmpfifft

s St. Valentine’s Day approaches, those of you who lackacomfort creature ofyourown have some issues to deal with. Are you single people the lonesome wallflowers you’re depicted to be? No, ofcourse not. You’re just temporarily out of order at the moment. Like a Coke machine. Yeah, like a big Coke machine. Fret not, you lonesome souls, because the answer is right in front of you. Instead of going out, spending money and enjoying an otherwise glorious evening spent intimately and lovingly with a counterpart, you can sit at home and forget the unfortunate day called Valentine’s Follow these steps to spend an enjoyable night with no one but yourself.

Find a happy video. TAe SmsclfMovj~ is highly recommended. Papa Smurf; a genius or a madman? Smurf procreation? Discuss. Find a happy friend. Ideally, find one you can force into staying with you. A dog, cat or gerbil will do. If living creatures can’t be found, a potted plant with a blanket wrapped around it will do fine. A happy friend doesn’t always have to speak, After all, it is better than your ex, who evidently could talk a deaf man’s ear off. Find a happy place. An environment free from human contact would be nice. The deep dark recessive corners of your basement would be appropriate. Now make it a happy place. Tell your room a joke or even tickle it. Your room must be happy before you set foot in it. Don’t forget to introduce your plant.

Distressing

situations

Despite their sympathetic glances, run ifyou hear your mom or dad say, ‘TIoney, if you want, I’ll be your special valentine.” This is always followed up by patting the empty space next to them on the couch. “Come and watch television with me.” If you hear this, run my friend, run like piss in the wind. There’s nothing special about being special.

assault

Spend ten minutes feeling sorry for yourself, but no longer. Time’s a wastin’. Think about how you’ll be alone forever, how you have no personality or how your ex is out having the time of her or his life right now. It’s your choice. Finished? Move on you poor creature, to the land of infinite solitary whimpers. Cat1 yourself names during this process: wanker or bitch will do fine for now.

Smurfpmation?Discuss. by Dan spedd

2 -

4 -

step

Late

night

time

killers

Attach your old Bon Jovi poster (you know you have one) to the back of Granddad’s rocking chair. Now sit in it. Cripes, look at you, you’re rockin’ like Bon Jovi (easy on the edi torials).Make your own Valentine’s Day cards. Think of witty one-liners to heighten your rock star confidence. Here’s one. Draw an octopus and write, “I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.” Whoowee, are we having a good time or what! Construct a petting zoo from old stuffed animals, it’s nice to pretend sometimes. Now let your cabbage patch kid fall helplessly beyond the barrier and watch Mr. Boogles and Ompa the Goat do away with him. Try to name all the characters from the cartoons you watched as a kid. Startwith Astro Boy then let it snowball to He-man and don’t forget about those crazy Thundercats. And what about, ahem. . . She-Ra? Just for the sake of argument we all know He-Man could kick She-Rays ass, cuz he had the power. Then eat some cheese. Cheese is good. Well, that’s my little contribution to the few who would like to pretend St. Valentine’s Day doesn’t exist. Here’s a hint: itdoes, so get over it. Aquick note to the reader: please do not contact me for further instructions. While I do think you’re awfully special, I have a date that night.

Culinary report cards by Brennan Vogel speda/ tu lhlpwnt

s I stood in line at my anonymous residence waiting to be served my daily vegetarian rations, it donned A on me that there are several other food service providers on campus. “Yeah,” I thought to myself. “I do have more than one choice in what I eat.” So the zygote of an idea was conceived in my freshman mind. “I know what I can do,” I thought, “I can give Waterloo Residence Rood Services its very own vegetarian report card!” To begin my epic food journey, I traversed the arctic wastelands to St. Jerome’s f+r my first experimental dinner. I was awestruck and taken aback at the choices vegetarian residents are offered. I chose to try the cheese tortellini with a side order of rice and a veggie stir-fry. And how did it taste? This food was definitely alright. I inquired with the residents who so graciously offered me a spot at their table as to their opinions on the food. And what was the consensus? The food is “okay.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. St Jerome’s, you earn a B. A few days later I found myself in the vicinity of the church colleges again and I decided to pay a visit to Renison College. Ahhh yes, linguine primavera with.. . mashed s

potatoes? Well, okay. Standing in line, I noticed that choice was lacking; however, there was a salad bar. So I sat down and began to eat. . . I didn’t eat for very long. A meal of overcooked noodles with a sad looking sauce that tasted like yesterday’s recycled minestrone soup. Pass on that. However, the potatoes had that. bowdered good taste that only university students can appreciate. The opinion of the students subjected food is to this food on a daily basis? “It sucks, I hate it,” But wait, there is also a minority who rate the food as “decent.” Because of this conflict, Renison earns a C-. Keep striving for that St. Jerome’s B. Next, I found myseIf in the village jungles. I am aware that there are twocafeterias in the villages, but my pockets are only so deep, so I decided to visit the new and improved Village One cafeteria. Walking into this carnival of culinary choice was definitely an exciting experience. Sandwiches, greasy food, main courses . . . so

much

to choose! I opted for a sandwich to satisfy my appetite. And was it good? Of course! But what was the opinion of the locals? Upon inquiry, I was surprised to realize that people hadvery strongopinions about the food. “It fuckin’ sucks!” or from another student, “It’s okay.” Either way, there is a lot

consensus? The “okay.”

it better myself

your daily food selection patterns i!LZGsVai~Zge

ily entering into the, mysterious depths of St. Pail’s, a far cry from my anonymous residence home. But I persevered and was served up a large helpingof Fettuccine Alfred0 with baked potato and cauliflower. After bartering with my food service attendant (I was a little short on cash) I settled down to this fine meal in the darkness of their cafeteria. And the meal itself? I found it fair and decent. In the words of a resident, “Actually it’s okay.” However, I did notice St. Paul’s suffers from a

lack of choice With this in mind, I gave St.Paul’s a confident C+. Keep working at it, one day you too will earn a B. I On the final day of my experiment, was off to Conrad Grebei where rumors of hdme cooked Mennonite meals danced in my head. I brought my appetite, but I had no idea what to expect. Standing in line for the meal, I struck up a conversation with the locals who found the food, “Really good, but really fattening.” There were rumors of one resident who had gained 30pounds! Somebody call Springer! I don’t know how much truth there is to this, but the meal (vegetarian stir-fry with tofu and rice) was absolutely delicious. Although Conrad Grebel was lacking variety, it made up for it in taste. Boy did it ever! So Conrad Grebel earns an A. After much food experimentation and spending a little of my hard earned cash, I have come to two conclusions about residence food at UW. First, there needs to be consistency in the choice and quality of food students are offered. Food equality for all! And my second conclusion?The food around -here could be a lot worse. So be kind to your Waterloo food service attendants, even if you hate your dinner. Be thankful for your plate, And if you’re really hard up for a decent meal? Pizza is only a phone call away.

Friday, February 12, 1999

IMPRINT,

by Ellen McKay ihlpintstaff

ould any professor at UW admit to spending their spare time watching&&j& Vampire3Yqmandentertaining thoughts of a shopping spree at Toys R Us? There is one such prof in the English department who throws caution to the wind and admits to such extracurricular activities. He is even bold (or is it crazy?) enough to say, “I really like my job.” Welcome to the idiosyncratic world of english professor Neil Randall. Professor Randall’s main area of specialization is multimedia design and he likes to teach about “theories on computers and communications.” Professor Randall is a big fan of the ner and uses the information he fmds to support his professional work. Professor Randall openly as-

serts that, “Scrabble is the best game ever designed.” He feels that while some computer games have their merits, we have lost the social benefit of “parlour games.“Most importantly, he wants the world to know he despises Myst and that Quest bores him.

FEATURES

disheartened” if he ever found out that this wasn’t the case. If you know of an older title with WWW in it, don’t inform him because he says, “I’d like to be left with this illusion.” He also writes a bi-weekly column forPCMagaxine where he uses an “Information for Dummies” approach. He generally enjoys this, but is not really big on deadlines. Professor Randali said it’s ‘&not good” when he writes about a topic and finds out afterward that the magazine doesn’t approve of the topic. When asked if there was anythingelseweatUWoughttoknow about him, he mentioned again how much he likes his joband said, “Ilike workingwithstudents.” He is well known for bringing his students Timbits on the last day of class (hint hint), his humourous monologues and his snazzy new haircuts.

VALENTINE’S

ROMIWKIZE -VALENTI.f’IDAY Win the limo for Valentine’s1 Come see the limo at the Waterloo location on Sat., Feb.’ 13 from 10 a.m. to 12 p-m. and the Kitchener location from 2-4 p.m.

“Scrabble is the best game ever designed.” Between lecturing (or is it stand-up?) and playing games, Randall found the time to write several books about the Internet and Microsoft’s FrontPage. He co-authored a bookentitled \%~-ld WideWebUnl’.&edand is proud to point out that “it was the first book ever with World Wide Web in the title.” He strongly cherishes this fact and indicated that he’d be “very

Junine

Advising

Co-op

ith a good wnout at this week’s SAC meeting, UVV students demonstrated rhat they care about rhe future of their representation to Co-op. The meetingwas artended by delegates from MathSoc, EngSoc, and AHSUM, along with SAC co-chairs Simon Woodside and Paul Schreiber. The topic of discussion concerned the options available to modify SAC in order to bring greater representation and services to Co-op students. The three main choices presented toSAC are: strengthen the current organization, create a new Co-op Council madeupof Student Councillors who are in Co-op or create a new Co-op Student Society. On Wednesday, February 24, SAC members will vote to choose one of these options and spearhead a campaign to have it implemented immediately.

The question is how SAC can best represent co-op students. Histoxically, this is the only deparcment where students have no formalized reprcsentarion. Indeed, there isn’t even a group with the resources to provide adequate services to IJW’s 9,000 co-opstudents. SAC’s long-term mission has been toadviseco-opaboucstudentopinions. However, SAC has never had the ability to bring student views unsolicited to Co-op and expect action. This is because SAC has never formally represented Co-op students: instead it represents the views of the five to ten students who happen tocome toSAC meetings. Without the mass of the student body behind it, SAC has little ability to create change. If all goes well on February 24, all that will change. As soon as the vote passes, SAC will immediately begin to lobby Feds and the Student Societies to implement the option SAC members choose. By the end of the term, we will

have made significant progress towards improving co-op life for all co-op students. This will certainly be a major achievement. SAC has already made progress, This term, we changed the WaxtPu bs line from (800) SQCNITE to (877) WAT-PUBS, vastly improved our web page at Attp:/ wufsere,l.~wufer~uu.cu~~~e~suc~ and drafted a statistical survey ofco-op students. We also began work on anambitiousco-opstudent Handbook similar to the EngSoc one and are hard at work on a series of recommendations to Co-op. This includes breaking the Computer Science earnings report out from the rest of Math. That way the estimates will reflect the large difference between the wages of those . twogroups. If you want to contribute to SAC, attend our meetings on Wednesdays at 4:30 p,m,, in the Student LifeCentre Multipurpose Room. SAC can be improved and you will make it happen.

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FEATURES

IMPRINT,

Friday, February 12, 1999

Free monev from College Club w

ear Katherine, how’s life treating you? It’s funny how we are on the same campus and yet we never manage to bump into each other and we rarely catch each other on the phone. I suspect it’s because you’re on the Internet so much, which makes your phone line busy. Anyhow, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. I’ve found a solution to our communication problem (drumroll please)! There is a great new website called~.to&ge&~. ~opn, which links students fromcolleges

join an international team and travel to remote regions rn Costa Rica or Guyana.

Aged l&25? 1

1 Work with local people on 1 powerful community projects / 4 4 4 1 4

Adventurous? /

+4otivated?

Rainforest Studies School Construction Health Education Aqueducts & Wells

learn valuable new career skills in leadership, problem solving, team work & another hnguage.

the ithgdshed sBw

Teacher Awards

and universities from all over North America. And it’s free! We can both log on and build our own “community.” That way, when any of our friends log on, we’ll know that they’re on and we can c-page each other. C-page is like instant paging on the Internet no matter where you are. It’s faster than email as when you’re logged onto the site, a box will pop up instantly telling you that someone’s looking for you! I know you keep telling me to get ICQ, but I tell you, N drive is always full for me! If you log onto this College Club site, there is a chacline available in Java or html,

soIcanchatwithyouwithoutbothering to download anything. Also, ifyou want to know what’s happening in Waterloo, there will be an unofficial University of Waterloo site set up available for all students.Anystudentcanaddtoitby posting events up for clubs or parties. I still think that the best part is that this site is free for all students and that they are giving away money. Yes, Lby 0mgAGgmay utte dollar per pet-sun yozt fecummend to ~2Gsite.Theywill send you a check in American dollars at the end of this term. . . I think that this is a great idea for any clubs wanting to

a guru - they’re never actually wizened, wrinkled old men sitting cross-legged, insight comes from a three-year-old throwing pennies into a fountain, wishing for a banana - and for the space of one dream, you are elsewhere, breathing, untouched by cause orconsequence, because the wind in your hair and the sun on your face tell you otherwise (you don’t realize that enlightenment is only fierce whispers from the lover at your side - your sunshine, your only sunshine). Tasting tranquility-surprising and salty-sweet, it fills your mouth with memories - you remember being told of unconventional learning, when late night field trips to coffee shops with a friend and frivolity are necessary to regain your composure and blow softly on your stinging heart. Harsh, the unfortunate return to a lobotomizing reality - then somebody sneezes, the words dissipate, the world again sets in motion, and what was monotonous genuflection becomes a kiss on the hand.

oo much bunk sloshing around inmyhead-excess caf-caf-caffeine will do that, especially when you’ve had the day from hell and you no longer understand the intricacies of human interaction or orsteraction because each carefully constructed philosophy is demolished in one instant - even those conveniently labelled cretins are now merely idiot savants, who’d have thunk it and though true love stands sentinel, guarding precious shreds of faith; really, who am I kidding, we all die alone, the Greeks figured that out many moons ago, so just pass me the hemlock now before I become aware of any more insignificance - mea ctilpa, mea maxhzacnpa as shards slip through the hole in my ozone - wereyolr trying to catch snowflakes? After piling all the meaningless bullshit together, praying for consequence, all that remains is a poor boy in tattered clothing, standing knee-deep in illusion with a shovel in his hand. Straining to see over deceit, far from the summit, you try to find

This

week, a tale Irish folklore.

leaching lieurum and Continuing Education (TRACE)office MC4U65 EXL3132 Womimtbn bmmdlins: firs4 Ffidmy

unluce Castle was a relic. Many of the walls had fallen in, and there was no roof. Grass had grown over what were originally stone floors. The wind blew hard. It was hard enough to blow you over if you weren’t paying actention, but it wasn’t a bitterwind, like in Waterloo; it wasn’t uncomfortably cold, just uncomfortably strong. The wind provided atmos-

tant relatives ofmine perhaps, who protected the local people from Viking attacks. It was valuable land as it stood on a point and was sheltered by a cliff, which made it a perfect fortress against any attack. Magnus Barefoot, so named because he adopted the Celtic style of dress, was constantly attempting to take over the Irish land. A short kilt, and nothing else on the legs or feet was considered manly and machoat the time, but it didn’t help Magnus, as the O’FIynns held

phere.

the castle

The view through the windows, holes in the stone wall, was spectacular. Far off cliffs of green faded in a thin veneerofcloud, and the Atlantic Ocean raged below. This castle was first owned and lived in by the O’FIynns, dis-

until the arrival of the MacDonneIIs from Scotland that they left Dunluce. The Scats didn’t defeat the O’FIynns though, instead they offered themexcellent farming land in the interior, much richer land, in exchange for the

WithoutdcfGat.

It wasn’t

raise money for charity. Heck, this site could be used to connect membersofallclubs and even between profs and students! I’m sure Kristel will go bonkers knowing that there is a College Jeopardy on the site. There is also an online DJ, meaning you plug in headphone, pick your type of music and just listen tostuffwhilesurfingtheweb! I haven’t tried it yet, but it sounds so cool! Hmm, I’m sure Mark will benefit from the medical advice available on this site since he is always so stubborn and refuses to see any doctors. There is aiso the latest world newson this site and as well as, my fave, horoscopes! (You can match up horoscopes between people to see if they match!) This site was started in San Diego in 1993 at The University of California by some computer science students. Most schools in the U.S. have hooked on and now it is expanding intocanada. There

s some of you may have al ready heard, PALS (Peer Assistance Links) has been discontinued as a service of the Feds. PALS was a service designed and advertised as a help-line run by students for students. It aimed to help students who were in need and directed students to proper assistance when they had requests or concerns that went beyond the volunteers’ training. Back in December, I ran a series of focus groups asking the studentsofthiscampuswhatthey thought of the Feds services. From everything the students had to say, there wasone suggestion thaF,stood Out: PALS should be discontinued. Students believed that the

castle. The history of this place goes on and on, with many battles being fought and Dunluce castle changing weal thy hands. The castle was invaded successfullyonlyonce. It was the English who did it, with one of the first cannons ever used in battle. The Irish got it back by bribing the soldiers to go back to England. The officer in charge woke up one morning to find his troops had left for home. Rather thanreturnand face thewrathofthe King, he plead& for the Irish 1;~ execute him. Theycomplied quite readily. As we walked out ofthecastle, the door to the tower where the English officer was hung flew open and banged shut. It was only the wind, of course. . .

is this ongoing competition between us, Western, Brock, Mac, Guelph and York. Heck, I don’t even know what the prize is, but beating all of them and just getting a pen is worth it! What’s going on, you ask?! There is a number of games between all of us. The most number of students logging onto the site from whichever Canadian university wins. Western has four reps for College Club and we only have two or three so far, so I guess they must have more students logged on than us . . . I really hope that this site will be used to promote our school spirit! I can’t bear the thought of attending another rep meeting with Guelph snickering at us! Gotta go, have to e-mail this guy I met from College Club. Hmm, and maybe I should start a group for Britpop music fans.. . email me when you get on! Love Jeannie

service was underutilized and that it duplicated many other resources orhelp-linesin thecommunity.As a student leader, I cannot ignore what students say to me. So, the next logical step was to take this matter to Students’ Council. The decision to cut PALS was made. Students’ Council also passed a motion to take the information formally supplied by PALS and compile it into a resource handbooktobedistributedaroundcampus. The information will also be placed on the Feds website. I will make sure that students are aware of the different help-lines they can call when in need of someone to talk to. If you have any questions or concerns about PALS or any other Feds service, please contact me at ~~~issrr~j~~~.wuter(oo.ca.

Adding pollution to Erie by Helen

spea’a/

Baulch

to /mpfint

nglers want to add poilution to Lake Erie, the kind of pollution that once hastencd its apparent death, The Ontario Federation of Anglers and Hunters (OFAH) believes that pollution control efforts that have cut phosphorus loadings have contributed to a decline in perch and pickerel populations. They want to stop the ongoing reduction of nutrient inputs until the future effects can be studied, The organization is even advocating an increase in phosphorus inputs to help sustain flagging fish populations. But Dr. Ron Griffith, a major proponentofrheproposal acknowledges that “any decisions that are made have to be based on solid science.” Ecosystem scientists say it’s unlikely increasing phosphorus levels will bring a corresponding increase in fish biomass. Dr. Henry Regier and Dr. James Kay argue

that the Lake’s ecology is much more complex. Kay thinks the OFAH proposal is “based on a profoundly wrong understanding of the way the lake ecosystem functions.” Rcgier and Kay say the lake functions in one of two states. It can function as a cloudy water, high nutrient system, good for perch and pickerel populations, or it can function in its pre-pollution condition, as a clear water, low nutrient system. “It is not a linear, continuous system thatstaysinonestate,” stated Kay. Before the lake areawas heavily populated, the lake water was clear, with little algae and mostly bottom dwellingfish. But the human population increase brought an increase in the inflow of nutrient rich sewage, detergents and farm runoff. This had little effect on the lake’s ecosystem until the 197Os, when the pollution loadings led to massive blooms of algae in the lake. When the algae died and fell to the bottom, their decomposi-

UW Prof leads ozonestudy by Rebecca ImprintstaR

Anstett

niversity of Waterloo scientist Professor Peter Bernath is leading a $30 million international study on ozone depletion in the atmosphere by using data collected by a Canadian satellite which will be launched from an airplane in 2001. Bernath leads the ACE science team, which includes scientists from across Czlnada and from the United States, Japan, France, Sweden and Belgium. The new satellite, SCTSAT1, will be the first Canadian space science satellite since ISIS-2, which was launched in 197 1 to study the upper atmosphere. Both the SCISAT- 1 satellite and the science instrument on board will be designed and built by a Canadian industry. As a consequence of a rigorous and extensive review process begun in July 1997, the Canadian Space Agency

selected

rhe Amos-

pheric Chemistry Experiment (ACE), to be the science payload forSCISAT-1. SCISAT-1 wili he launched in cooperation with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). ‘l-ho mission will

declining

4 0

dish seeksrevenge, www.grandbend.com

Dead fish IiningErie’sshores, algae fouled beaches, and problems with the taste and odour of drinking water drawn from Lake

Erie prompted a cooperative effort between Canada and the U.S. to reduce nutrient loading. Improved sewage treatment, reduced farm runoff, and the banning of phosphatecontainingdishwasher detergents led to an almost 50 per cent reduction in phosphorus inputs between 1976 and 1986. This change had little apparent affect for many years. In the early 199Os, however, a profound change was observed: algae populations declined, oxygen levels increased, and native fish species rebounded, Regier and Kay descri be these dramatic but delayed responses as “system flips.” Heavy pollution stressed the clear water ecosystem until it collapsed and flipped into an algae-filled state. Then, pollution controls cut nutrients and, assisted by zebra mussels, eventually undermined the algae-filled system, which then flipped back to a clear water system. Regier and Kay say the delay in the response of the lake to declining nutrient inputs and the ini-

tial resilience of the system to massive nutrient pollution indicate that change in the lake does not follow a simple cause-effect model. Kay doubts that even a return to heavy pollution loadings could induce a switch back to the high algae-rich state preferred by perch and pickerel. With theadditionofzebramussels, “the system has been fundamentally reorganized.” He suspects that the OFAH would have to persuade governments to cut pollution controls and increase nutrient inputs to levels significantly higher than in the “bad old daysofthe 1950s” to induce a flip. MurrayCharlton,ascientistat the Canada Centre for Inland Waters, isn’t sure declining nutrient levels are really the problem. He said “frankly, I don’t know if its lack of productivity, or over-fishing.” And, he adds, “There are a lot ofstakeholders. Property owners that own up to 70 per cent of the shore don’t want algae washing up.”

Are you being watched? observe dangerous details from the privacy of their own home or office. Johnson feels that the techhether you’re talking nology hasn’t yet reached such a about “a major comlevel and others feei that “theonly pany or one hacker, a serious technical obstacle to esgovernment agency or your jealpionage-by-webcam is Internet ous neighbor, any and all of them bandwidth.” can turn the Internet intoa powerThe internet is creating a ful tool for surveilwhole new niche for fulance,” says Evan Henr ture spies. Private inves, dricks, publisher ofPritigators prcscntly Up teloaq Timts. ephonc wires. But 3s Webcams are prolifmore of our communierating across the cation toolsare moving Internet, making it posonline, inuluc\ing phone calls :mJ \~icleo ct-rnfcrsible to open a window on your monitor and enccs, the cyberspies of watch everything from the future arc‘ likely to ship traffic through the tap computers tind the Suez Canal to pornoInternet itself. graphic peep shows. Although technology is praised as the This fad, however, is rapidly becoming a surmaking of this generaveillance tool. Imagine Someoneiswatching you. tion, one has to wonder if a lack of such tcchnolthe possibilities for parwww.ozemailcom.au ems! ogy would be better for They can install hiddencaming intently through binoculars, our lives as they slowly become eras in their homes and hook them may plant webcams with wireless public domain. lt is a truly frightto a modem, so that when they’re modems. Then they’ll log on to ening prospect that information on the net and track arrivals and deyour computer can be disclosed at work, they can observe the partures at their headquarters, or behavior of rhcir children, or that without your krmwledgie.

by Rebecca /mpn’htst~

include the CSA satellite and one from NASA on a single launch vehicle,aPegasusXLclassrocket. The Pegasus is deployed during flight from a modified L-1011 airplane. As the satellite orbits the Earth, its instruments will examine both sunrises and sunsets, and measure the absorption ofsunlight into the atmosphere. This will provide crucial information about trace particles and gases, such as carbon dioxide, methane and CFCs in the atmosphereThe information will help in measuring and understanding the chemical and dynamical processes that control the distri bution of ozone in the stratosphere. The research focus will be on the decline of stratospheric ozone at northern mid-latitudes and in the Arctic and attempt to identify the exact chemical reactions which arecausing theozone layer to thin. Canadian scientists are known to be world leaders in the study of the dynamics of the atmosphere. Recently,

tion removed oxygen and contribu ted to low oxygen levels. These low oxygen levels contributed to massive kills of the bottom-dwelling fish in some areas of the lake.

levels

Ozone have been measured over much of Canada using groundbased instruments. Since 1980, a six per cent decrease in the ozone has keen recorded sparking fears of climatic changes chat could threaten human health and safety.

Anstett

of the babysitter. William Johnson, a Seattlebased security consultant and founder ofthe Business Espionage Control and Countermeasures Association, forsees a day in the future when industrial spies, instead of hiding in the bushes wearing surplus-store camoflage and peer-

Spy on Inkprint unlitif% http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca

, 16

SCIENCE

Scientists

examine

dead sea scrolls and 1

If0

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Ave. W.

88610400 Take

After a half-century of piecing together the Dead Sea Scrolls from remnants found in desert caves, scholars may be reaching a point where they have learned all they can from handwriting and textual analysis. So, in an attempt to open new horizons, scientists are being brought into the field of scroll research to apply their techniques to the 2,000 year old scriptu res.

it Easy.

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Yahoo! Inc. announced that it’s buying GeoCities Inc. for US$4.58 billion in a deal that creates the largest web gateway and speeds the fevered spree of consolidations among Internet companiesThe deal gives Yahoo! another powerful brand name while helping Geocities reach more web users.Yahoo! will exchange about 10.6 million shares ofstock for the 31.4 million shares of GeoCities common stock. In addition, Yahoo! wiil convert about 8.9 million GeoCities stock options into about 3 mithon Yahoo! stock options. The two companies have worked together over the past year by offering each other’s services to their customers. Yahoo! says it will save money on technology costs by using Geocities’cumputers to help handle the massive traffic on its Web sites, including transactions such as online purchases.

Agovernment advisory panel isconcerned about the accuracy of data being used to fuel the intense debate over possible climate change. Climate change has become a hot topic with the growing concern that rising levels of certain chemicals in the atmosphere could trap additional heat from the sun, causing the earth’s temperature to rise. Scientists and politicians on both sides of the issue regularly trade jabs, citing various studies of temperature readings.

Spacecraft

begins

comet probe

South Campus Hall Monday to Friday 8:30am - 5:OOpmSat. 12:OOpmto 4:OOpm 888-4567 ext. 3914

http://www.adm.uwaterloo.ca/infobooWindex.html

U.S. firm begins testing AIDS vaccine On the heels of the first AIDS vaccine trial in Africa, U.S. researchers have received permission to start an advanced trial of an HIV vaccine in Thailand. VaxGen Inc., a California-based company spun off from the biotechnology firm Genentech, said 2,500 Thais at high risk for the disease wouId be recruited for the trial of the AIDSVAX vaccine, which has been tailored to work against the strain of HIV seen most commonly in Asia.

Friday,

February

Herbal emerging

medicine as choice

Herbal medicine, the mainstay of therapeutics for centuries before modern purified drugs reiegated it to the status of semiquackery, has in the last five years emerged from the fringes ofhealth care with an astonishing flourish and now shows clear signs of joining the medical mainstream. Despite many cautionary tales about adulterated and even dangerous products,herhs formulated as capsules, tinctures, extracts and teas, and increasingly as additions to common foods like potato chips and fruit drinks,are nowroutinely used by a third of American adults seeking to enhance their health or- alleviate their illnesses.

Balancing cosmological

of books

The world’s leading cosmologists have assessed their theories and pronounced them healthy, saying that a wealth of new research that at first seemed puzzling turns out to strengthen the intellectual framework that has shaped decades of debate about the origin and evolution of the unrverse. Theastonishingdiscovery last year that the universe’s expansion is not slowing down, as assumed, but seems to be speeding up jolted theorists of the Big Bang whose concept for the explosive beginning and expanding evolution of the universe had been living in danger for 30 years.

No remorse for Canadian

teen

hacker

A Delta 2 rocket boosted NASA’s Star Dust probe into deep space today on a mission to fly through the dust storm trailing a three-mile-wide comet and bring back samples for analysis. If the

It took the RCMP, FBI, and administrators from MIT tocatch a Canadian teen whowas pingflooding or “smurfing” Sympatico, one of Canada’s largest Internet Service Providers. A smurf attack in-

seven-year

volves

voyage

is successful,

scientists will get a firsthand look at some of the materials rhat gave birth to the solarsystem, provided the water for Earth’s oceans and presumablyseededtheplanecwith the organic building blocks of life.

tricking

compurcrs

all cwc’r

the Internet into sending packets of information to a designated Iocation. The point of smurfing is to overload the destination with pings, disabling or slowing i t down. The teen was found athis com-

12, 1999

puter by police when they arrested him at his home in Montreal. He had dropped out of high school a few months earlier and spent most ofhisdays hackingintocomputers on the Net, including a US Army computer network and MIT. He wentaftersympatico because they had caught him in the act sometime earlier, and had tried to shut him down. The teen expressed no remorse, and stated that if he was put in jail his buddies would shut Montreal down. He might need a little bit of counselling.

AIDS-infected

treatment

Inadequate climate changer

15%

IMPRINT,

receive

in U.S.

Researchers from the RAND (Research and Development) think tank in California stated at an international conference on AIDS that only halfofall American adults infected with the AIDS virus are receiving regular treatment. They estimate that between 600,OOOand 900,000 Americans are living with thevirus, and that only335,000are being treated. If Americ has it this bad, Africa must be even worse, where infection races areas high as 25 percent in some countries, and the treatment almost non-existent.

Seagate to manufacture huge hard drives Ifyou think hard drives store LI lot of data now, Seagate’s newest announcement might surprise you. They have stated in a press release that they wiil be manufacturing 100 gigabyte hard drives within the next few years. By the end of the year, they claim that they will have 35-70 gigabyte drives on the market. With current hard drive sizesat a few gigabytes, this might allow people to store all of those MP3s they have been eyeing, It will be interesting to see how IEhl (the acknowledged hard drive technology leader) responds.

Microsoft fumbling around some more Recently, Microsoft (MS) has attempted to spin the media into disseminating information that makes it look friendlier.and innovative. Just last week, Bill Gates donated over three bill&n dollars to his charity foundationsThese donations eclipsed Ted Turner’s one billion dollar donation to the United Nations as the largest philanthropic donation ever. Ofcourse, the donations come amidst the government anti-trust trial, which has been going badly for MS. Microsoft has also attempted CO look respcm~ive: by releasing data to the public suggesting that they will restructure the company into four departments, which looks like they are trying to pacify the government and also, to emulate the break.

Warriors take two at home by Mike Downing sp&af t’o /mprin f

obody knew anything. Nobody had anything to say. Nobody needed to say anything. The Warriors were 2 -5, good for fifth in our eight-team league. If the Raptors were 2-5, no one would flinch, but halfway,though our 14-game season, two wins is not a lot. The first half of the season had been a bloodbath. Maclostone at home. Lakehead beat Guelph. Windsor beat Waterloo. They made the trip to that place - I hesitate to call it a gym, it’s more like a track. So it was Western - league champions returning their entire team-versus Waterloo - almost made the playoffs, and perennial whipping boys. Unfortunately, this ain’t any other league. This is the OUA West and at the end of every bus ride is a fight for your life. The-Warriors lost. ream superguy Mano Watsa, nursing a wounded ankle, had what may have been his worst game ever. Not in his rookie year, not high school, not ever. He had no field goals, several turnovers and looked very.. . well, human. So on last Saturday, when Brock paid us a visit, you

knew he was gonna make up for his lost shine. Talking to Watsa before the game he said, “I’m about 65 per cent,” which makes him almost a normal player. Almost, not quite. Despite a precarious position in the standings our Warriors seemed to have a positive disposition. Zav had a great game in Windsor, he seemed calm. Remy Donaldson hurt his head in practice but was ready to go. Even the usually stoic Mike Stroeder cracked a smile. The Warriors played a superior first half. There were some disturbing lapses on the perimeter as Duncanworked the penetrate-and-dish thing superbly. But Watsa, not one to be our-pointguarded on his home floor, made several long passes to Mark Eys, Stroeder and Dan Schipper who all ran the floor extremely well. By halftime, they were up eleven and seemed posed to turn the Badgers into pets - oops, I hope no environphoto by Niels Jensen mental groups mind that one. For ten minutes, the first halfof the game dangled like live bait from a fishing hook. Would the Warriors stretch the lead out to 20 or would Brock tie it up? Little to no defence was played by either squad. We shot 61.5 per cent but had

Call the SPCA

a whopping50points in the second half. In the end ourguys won the shooting match. Mano finished with 2 1 points, five assists and five rebounds. What doesn’t show up in the numbers is how he tired out Brock’s big men by constantly sprinting the floor, challenging shots and crashing the glass. Zav finished with five fouls and 14 minutes-an amazing stat in itsown right. Still in the post game autograph sessions the most quotable Waterloo Warrior was the most popular with the grade-schoolers. To quote Zav, “Man, I’m glad we’re playing Laurier on Wednesday - those guys were huge!” by John Swan /mpnintstM On February 10, the Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks paid a visit to the PAC in a heated battle between bitter rivals. However, from the opening tip-off to the end of the game, the Warriors completely dominated the Hawks, shooting 43.8per cent from the field in the first half. Three point shots kept the Golden Hawks in the game but by the half, Waterloo had a ZO-point advantage. In the second, as Waterloo coach Tom Kieswetter stated, “We were soft and allowed them too many shots, inside and out.” Overall, the Golden Hawks took advantage of many mistakes on Waterloo’s part as the deficit was reduced to eight. But Waterloo decided to put their foot down and escaped the PAC with a 94-76 victory. Laurier coach Mike Kilpatrick credited Waterloo for their experience and affence.

Badgersand Ramsviolatedbv Warriors J

by John

Swan

fmjxfntst~ s the season winds down, the UW Hockey Warriors are making a very strong case for making the playoffs A ‘n the Far West Division. This case was made even stronger after the performances against two of the teams in the Mid-West Division, The results of the Warriors play, of course, were not pretty for the opponents, On February 5, the Warriors travelled to the Thorold Community Arena to take an the Brock Badgers. From the opening faceoff, the Warriors completely dominated the hapless Badgers and bewildered starting goaltender Adam Dunne. For Brock University, it was going to be one of those nights, as the PA system malfunctioned, the national anthem was not played and the Badgers showed no intensity. The first period was just a warmup for the Warriors. There were errors made early by the Warriors because of giveaways, which lead to shots by Mickey Clair and Mark Walker. Luckily for the Warriors, Joe Harris stopped these two without any problems. However, in the 10th minute of the first period, Waterloo started dominating the helpless Badgers. Finally, with less than three minutes before the end of the period, Sean Fitzgerald received the puck from Mike Murphy and lifted the puck over the shoulder of Dunne. This goal gave Waterloo a one goal advantage. In the second period, Waterloo continued the clinic by peppering Dunne with shots. Nine seconds before the fourth minute ended, Sean Fitzgerald scored his second goal of the game. Later, a weak wraparound goal by Rob Kirkby led Brockcoach Murray Nystrom to pull Dunne from the game mercifully. Timothy Lacey, who replaced Dunne as goaltender, prevented Waterloo from scoring any more goals in the second period. Unfortunately for the Badgers, the damage was done. The third period saw Brock try to mount a comeback. Waterloo, $owever, would not yield many opportunities for

the Badgers. Goals by Dan Mundell and MikeMurphy late in the game emphasized the embarrassment of Brock’s play. The result was a five-goal thrashing that gave Joe Harrishis first shutout of the season. Harris only faced 13 shots, while Dunne and Lacey had to deal with 45. Two days later, the Warriors entertained a very determined squad, the Ryerson Polytechnic University Rams. After humiliating Brock, the game began as a huge letdown. Overall, there was not much to speakof as both teams played defensively.-As for Joe Harris . and Carm Guirleo, these two goaltenders for Waterloo and Ryerson respectively saw very little in the way of action. After one period, no goals had been scored. In the second period, both teams compensated the rabid fans for the scarcity of play in the first 20 minutes of the game. However, Ryerson would score first as Jason Kotack capitalized ori a rebound from a shot made by Marcin Snita. For Ryerson, their lead would only last for 18 seconds as Sean Fitzgerald won the face-off and scored on a shot that trickled past Guirleo. The teams remained at a stalemate until nine minutes and 15 seconds in the second as Dan Mundell shot the puck that went between Guirleo’s legs. Waterloo’s lead would not last long, either, as a penalty by Joe Harris for high sticking gave Ryerson a chance to score a power play goal. The Rams did not waste any time in equalizing, as Ryan Love scored a power play goal. After the goal scoring flurry (four goals within a sixminute span), a rumble occurred between members of Ryerson and Waterloo. Behind the goaltender’s net, Brandon Dunkley and Mike Murphy began a small tussle that quickly snowballed into a rumble between several players on both squads. Both Ryerson and Waterloo received a ten minute

major, a roughing penalty and an elbowing penalty. Twentythree seconds later, a five-minute major given to David Sa changed the complexion of the match. Now, up to this point, the Rams and the Warriors were evenly matched. However, after this major,.~scores by Dan Mundell and Jay Henry demonstrated to the Rams why Waterloo is one of the hottest teams in the OUA. Nevertheless, credit must be given to the Rams. Despite being down by two goals at the start of the third period, “‘h the Rams never surrendered.

This has been the best .

- Cressman

advantage. Still, Ryerson re’ fused to quit as they continued to press on for the win. However, Harris and the Waterloo defense shut the Rams down. An empty net goal by Josh Cressman sealed the win for the Warriors. Overall, Dave Cressman was happy to get the win. “I knew it would be a fnrstrating game because of the type of game Ryerson plays,” Cressman stated, “and when we have trouble scoring, it concerns me.” He also said, ‘*Our defense wasn’t as hot as Friday but did well today.” Dave Cressman was impressed with the play of Joe Harris, especially since he is now fourth in goals against average in the OUA. The University of Waterloo Warriors will be hoping to avesxge a 4-I

defeat

Friday

night

as Laurentian

IJniversity

Voyageurs come to the Columbia Icefield at 7~30 p.m. Sunday; the York Yeomen arrive on campus at 290 p.m. Finally, on Wednesday the Warriors will travel to London in a critical match against the University of Western Ontario Mustangs at 7:30 p.m. So come on out and cheer on your Waterloo Warriors hockey squad, the most electrifyingteam in the OUA!

SPORTS

18 1

IMPRINT,

Friday, February 12, 1999

Brock Badgers beaten by our volleyballers . by Kate Schwas . fmphtstaff

aterIo Warrior women’s volleyball action heated up on Friday, February 6, here at Waterloo as the Warrior women tookon the Brock University Badgers. Opening the game with a ceremony to graduating players, the will for a Warrior win was high. With inspiringwords from Cookie Monster, after all, C is for cookie as V is for volleyball, the women took the court. The first match started offthe

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Warrior romp. Warrior serves were excellent, and the team got several aces against Brock. The awesome blocking abilities and strong ralhes put the Warriorson the scoreboard early. With strong serving from Laurie Brubaker, the Warriors came out on top with a score of 1511. Major miscommunication on the Brock side of the net helped our Warriors to get: on the board early in the second match. Warrior women gained five points before the Badgers managed to get one. With great plays from the Wirrior side, the Badgers seemed to give up and just watched the ball fly by. The second match saw the Warriors kicking some Brock Badger ass, ending with a score of 15-6 for the Warriors. With lots of team spirit, the Warriors started to get on the scorehoard early in the third match. The Badgers had started to get things

by Kerry

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fmptintst~

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together, but the Warriors told them to go back into hibernation. With strong play from Agnes Magolon and Amy Barras, the Warriors put an end to their at-

home losing streak, with a final match win over Brock, 15-7. . A smiling Barras felt great about how she and her teammates had played. “We all pulled to-

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gether. We’re rca1ly happy with the way we played.” Barras was also happy with the entire season, “It was definitely a good season.” Not only did rhe game look good from the stands, but also from the bench. Assistant Head Coach Anne Hovey was happy with the team play. “I’m proud of the way theycameoutandstayedfocused.” Hovey was not alone in her thoughrs, as Head Coach Kirean Williams agreed, “One of our better matches. We’ve been in a slump the last couple of matches.” With one last game ofthe season against Wiffrid Laurier University, the women finish their season. With the promise of the rookies, Waterloo will surely be a contender next year for the play-offs. A great season for all members, farewell to the beloved grads, and we’re sure the Waterloo Warriors women’s volleyball team will make a huge impact next year.

ping into Wednesday night’s game, the women’s basketball Warriors exactly riding a wave of

success.

With a dismal l-7 league record, who would be? However, the Warriors came to just in time to open a major can of whoop ass all over the high school down the street, the Wilfrid Laurier Chicken Hawks. The Saturday previous had seen the Warriors lose to a team they should have beat, the Brock Badgers. The Badgers had already handed the Warriors a loss down in St. Catharines, and the Warriors were eager to return the favour on

their own home court. Unfortunately, the Warriors were unable to pull themselves together. After a 30-30 tie at halftime the Badgers managed to edge ahead and wound up winning 69-66. Not a bad score, but one that should have been in Waterloo’s favour had the Warriors capitalized on the opportunities offered in the second half. This Wednesday was a different story. To be brutally honest, it wasn’t much ofa game. The Warriors made sure rhe Chicken Hawks knew who the rulers of Kitchener-Waterloo’s roost are. After leading 27-15 at half, the Warriors pulled out their big guns and finished off the game with a whopping 32 point gulf between themselves and the

Hawks, 59-27. Perhaps the biggest and most mind-boggling story this week is rookie Kristen Eisner. Not only was she the high scorer with fifteen points, but she managed to hit not 8Upercent, not90percent, but100 per cent of her shots from the floor. Let me break it down: she hit one trey, two free throws, and six two pointers. Tom O’Brien, coach of the women Warriors and a Z-plus year women’s basketball veteran, had only this to say: “I have never in all my years seen anything like this.” Just one more reason to support yourwomen’s basketball team, folks, It’s a fast game, a technical game and a fun game. Check them out next Wednesday at 6:00 p.m.

photo by Niels jensen

1999OntarioUniversity LifeguardChampionship Come out to the PAC pool to catchthe action! Fri.Feb. 26,430 pm - 9 pm & Sat. Feb. 27,10 am - 6 pm. Get involved,

WARRIORS 1/SYEOMEN Sunday,February14,1999,2

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12, 1999

SPORTS ----------a--------

Swimmersgoingto CIAUs by the Wiurior Swlm specie/ to /mprint

Team

ighc hundred thousand yards, five months of training, 16 swim meets, 14 day trainingcamp and a twoweek taper equals one finely tuned Warrior Swim Team. The Warriors travelled to Laurentian last weekend toshowtheirstuffatr.heOUAChampionship. With 13 women’s and 14 men’s teams, this was the largest field of swimmers in recent memory, The weekend started off slow for the Warriors with only six swim-

mers cracking the top 16 and gaining a spot in the evening session. Then, Courtney Mitchell was the first to put points on the board with a 13th place fmish in the 50m backstroke. Alan Lee and rookie Crahame Jastrebski were the first Warrior men to place in the top sixteen. Lee raced to a victory in the consolation final, while Jastrebski swam his way to a 13th place finish, not even a full second behind Lee. Women’s captain, Val Walker, was the first Warrior to achieve a spot in an event final. Walker swam a season’s personal best not only to win a controversial

Athletes of the week

Joe Harris Warrior Hockey

Val Walker Warrior Swimming

Harris, a fifth year Urban planning student fromMitche1, Ontario, had an outstanding weekend. Joe almost wrote Warrior history when Ryerson pulled their goaltender in the last four minutes of the game, trying to securea playoff position. Joe was able to retrieve the puck in his end and just shot the puck wide of the open net. Since the new year, Joe has consistently lowered his goals against average to below three and has moved into the league’s top four goaltenders in that category.

This past weekend at the OUA swimming championships Val once again demonstrated her ablility to swim the breaststroke events. She was second in the ZOO, third in the 50 and fourth in the 100, with four individual events allowed this year at the championships. Val also had the opportunity to swim an event not usually available to her in championship situations. In the 800 free she swam to a life time best time and an eighth place and qualified for CIAUs.

fourth place, but to also qualify for the CIAU Championships. In the 4OOm individual medley the men once again had two swimmers representingwaterloo as HJ Rohmann and Peter Londry raced it out for 15th and 16th respectively. Frithe Women’s day evening, 4xlOOm Medley Relay of Mitchell, Walker, Robin Goraj and Melissa Thomas out touchedyork for a seventh place finish. The Warriors approached the pool on Saturday hoping to put Friday’s poor showing behind them. Unfortunately, the Warriors were once again plagued by 17th and 18th place finishes. The Warriors were not completely shut out Saturday night, as Jastrebski showed that he is the Warriors top sprinter with a victory in the consolation final of the 50m freestyle. Then it was time for Val Walker’s 2OOm breast-sroke. This time there was no close finish as she placed second to take the silver medal and once finishing with a time faster than the CIRU qualifying time. As Sunday approached, the Warriors had to step up and race. The 5Om breastroke proved to be a valuable event for both the men and the women. The Warriors saw Lee and Jastrebski pull out all the stops, with Jastrebski proving that he is going to be a force to be reckoned with as he took home the bronze medal. Lee, not to be outdone, touched at fifth, only a tenth ofa second behind Jastrebski. Val Walker showed that she came to Sudbury to take home some hardware with a bronze medal performance of her own. In the 800m freestyle Walker proved her skills by finishing eighth. In the end, Sunday’s turn around turned out to be too little too late, as the Waterloo women finished ninth and the men fmished 10th. While Walker and Londry continue to prepare for the CIAU Championship held in Guelph Feb. 19-21, theremainder of the team is taking some deserved time off before they start off-season training. ’

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Alpine team’ on track by David Atluniut /mpn’nt5taR

he unofficial University of Waterloo downhill ski team made the trek to Beaver Valley resort last Friday to participate in the season’s first slalom event. The team’s steady improvement from the first race from a month ago was displayed once again as two racers managed to crack the top ten. The number of overall racers was diminished significantly from the previous week, mainly due to the absences of the teams from McGill and Bishop’s. This allowed theorganizerstosetupachallenging course because of the lack of time restraints, and the icy condi-

tions contributed to formingachaotic run for many of the racers. But many of the Waterloo skiers posted their most successful finishes so far. Heather Brodie finished lOthoutof34woman racers, which was her personal best. Susie Montgomery, Christy Fleming, Renata Osika, Sarah Bunting and Kate Belcher improved their overall standings just by finishing because eight ladies were either disqualified for missing a gate or unable to finish the difficult run. An astonishing 26 out of the 70 men were unable to complete the race. However, this stat did not deter Sean Barfoot, who’s sixth place finish was the highest for any UWskier this season. Although he had great runs in the giant slalom

races, Bar@ appeared much more confident maneuvering around the tighter slalom gates and should make a serious run at a first place finish over the next couple of races. Josh Hall finished in the top 30, while George Roter and Adam Gaudet also finished amongst the top halfof the racersThis was pretty good for Gaudet, considering that he had lost his skis following some pre-race festivities and had to scramble to find a pair for last Friday’s race. The skiers won’t see action until March 5 at Blue Mountain. The skiers hope that there will still be a solid base of snow and that Adam will be able to make progress in remembering where the heck he left his skis.

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The Campus RecVolleyball tournament tested each team’s endurance and stamina this term. Due to scheduling difficulties, the 19 matches were played Tuesday, February 9, from 7: 15 p.m. to midnight! The eight teams played three round robin matches each and then fought hard tostayin the single elimination playoffs. After the round robin play, the teams were seeded according to their net gain/loss of points in each game. David Neuman’s Flying Butresses (AS) were ranked first, with Blinky (A6) not far behind. A third place tie between “Us vs U” (A5) and the Lunatics (Al) rounded out the top four spots. The Keaners (A7), El Tape (A3), AI-ISUM (AZ) and Seldom Sober (A4) finished fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth respectively. After the first round of the playoffs, four teams packed their bags and headed home. The semifinals left “Us vs U” setting and spiking their way over the Flying Butresses. The other semi-final match

IMPRINT,

Friday,

saw The Keanets being taken to the cleaners by Blinky. After four and a half gruelling hoursofcontinuousvolleyball the championship game was set. “Us vs U” took to the court and challenged Blinky. Both teams played extremely competitive volleyball. VVith Matt Mulligan’s help, the Blinky team had some amazing blocks and could spike the ball down the court at break neck speeds. “Us vs U” sacrificed their knees to return the balls that flew over the net. Both teams exemplified the true spirit ofcompetition and love for the game. Playing all three games of the match: Loi Lam’s team, Blinkjl, managed to claim the win. Congratulations to Larissa Sproul, Margaret Chen, Jen Yuen, Matt Mulligan and Loi Lam: the champions of the Winter 99 CR Volleyball Tourney. I hope you enjoyed your slushies!

Campus Ret competitive basketball league update The largest Campus off to a competitive

Ret league is start. There

February

are 75 teams in four divisions participating this termand aI1 leagues have seen some great action In the A division, the Shaolin Monks are first with a 4-O record. Team Mech Gyver A are in second with a record of 2-1. In the C division we have Far Syde and Xplociv in first at 4-O. Columbia Lakers, NC Tar Heels and DOS are all in a close second at 3-O. Division D has South 4 in first place with a score of3-0. South A is two-points behind at Z- 1. Finally, our largest division, the B-league made up of43 teams has some exciting competion going on as well. Four teams: Fun Police, Maroon, Red Badge and Steve Kerr are fighting for first place with 4-O scores. There is a second place tie between Pappa Shango, Lay the Boots, and the Slush Puppies, but these teams have only played three games a piece so they have lots of opportunity to catch up. Most teams have one or two games left to play so anything can happen. Checkout thisamazingaction Sunday and Monday nights at the PAC.

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-Leaders of the wtiek

TEAM UOTR Concordia M&il

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MID-EAST

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TEAM (X)Guclph (X)Tomnto Queen’s RMC

GFWLT 22 22 22 22

F 4 1102 5 2 90 6 0 88 7 4 61

I6 14 15 10

33 30 30 24

F A-IT’ 68 71 63 91 7.5 99 all15

I9 16 I4 7

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GPWLT 21 II 8 221012 22 711

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Ryerson WEST

6 16

Eva King

Laura Shoemaker

Eva King is a great member of the guard team, She is always supportive of her team members and the lifeguarding staff. She lifeguards, participates in guard team and often takes extra shifts. Recently Eva has redone the lifeguard team points system, put up a bulletin board and helped organize events for guard team. Overall, Eva is the epitome of a student leader (all this despite the traumatic loss of her hometown’s hero: Wiarton Willie).

Laura Shoemaker is a’ fitness leader with vigour. She’s been teaching fitness classes of her own as well as covering classes of ill instructors. Laura pushes herself to experiment with new styles of land fitness: boxer&e, step and muscle conditioning are all being incorporated into her Mission Impossible classes. Laura will be starting to mentor new instructors this term. We hope they pick up on Laura’s motivation and ambitious attitude!

(zzidtat Watcrlm Western

2122 22 22

(X)

Clinched

Feb. Feb.4

Feb.

5Coti

Feb.

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Hey, nature boy! Art show at East Campus Hall is for the birds

he art of installation is a difficult subject to discuss using words, More so than any other art form, installation pieces are best interpreted in person. “Birdsdunnit” is an installation project currently showing in the Front Gallery at East Campus Hall. The show is the result of the collaborative efforts of Arounna Khounnoraj (a second-year master of fine arts student) and Catherine Paleczny (a third-year fine arts undergrad student). The show examines the relationship of a traditional gallery settingwith that of the natural environment. The transformation of the gallery challenges all of the human senses. Before the focal point of the installation becomes visible the viewer is struck with smells unfamiliar to most interior spaces. It isn’t until the woven mass of vines is spotted that the viewer realizes the smell linger-

photos

by Janice Jim

.ing outside of the gallery is that of dried foliage. Thousands of ropesized vines form a nine foot natural monument thatdominatesone half of the gallery. The positioning and sheermass of the piece creates a shrine-like presence that chal-

lenges the viewer for territory. The piece managed to push-a room full of viewers to one side of the gallery, where they flocked like worshippers at a holy site. The collaborative team demonstrated strong knowledge of their found

materials. The illu lsi onary effects created by the natu ra ,I objects are a pleasant surprise. Upon closer e:xamination, what first appeared as a rug under the main sculpture reveals itself as carefully layed sunflower seeds. As I sit alone in the gallery writing this review I can’t help but feel overcome by serenity. All of the -“human-made” world around us is a response to the environment. “Birdsdunnit” simply shows us that the greatest engineer, is the one most often forgotten, nature. I urge everyone to come visit the monument

known as “Birdsdunnit”. The piece is on display from February 1st to the 14th in East Campus Hall.

-And all the King’s X Friendly rockers go to town in TO sive rock/metal songs. Steeped in the vein of Dream Theater (my comment to the guitarist, after the show, who groaned goodnaturedly, “Is it that

by Dan Tshln special to fmprin

started enthusiastically, engaging the friendly crowd in little time. Not a country band, as their namesake might suggest - their ani-

newcomers, King’s Xcan be aptly labeled “The Best Band You Never Heard.” But to most fans in the packed El MO, including myself, King’s X is simply the best band and we were hearing them live. The fact “bands this good are usually doomed to perpetual cultdom” is unconsolable, but it was a night to forget about the music industry for the masses which pushes fluff such as Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys and their clones. King’s X touring with Galactic Cowboys had opening acts Eye Rhyme and Viciousphere start the evening of hard music to about 200 fans packed upstairs in the El Mocambo. Eye Rhyme,a triowith members hailing from Toronto and Kitchener, played original progres-

resembles KX (the band members are close friends), their newer material shows that theyhave matured with their own sound. They played a set of kiIler, hard-hitting grooves with really neat hooks and massive riffs interspersed with vocal harmonies. Their quirkybut amazingly fun-musicpaired with ponderous lyrics some spiritual in nature -was received very enthusiastically. They delivered an absolutely stellar performance. The crowd made it clear that they were even joining in sing-alongs. Having released eight discs, yet they are

Slayer and Metallica. They played their set well, although their songs were decidedly one-dimensional and didn’t stand outfrom each other. Galactic Cowboys (GC)

photo by Dan Tshin

mated stage presence (notably of bassist Monty Colvin) brought many cheers. Having weathered criticism that their sound loosely

.~ I

&urns) anh Doug Pinnick (bass, lead vocals), they have been veryinfluential to and highly praised by many bands such as Pantera, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam (the liner notes in

Pearl Jam’s Ten thanks Pinnick), Defying confining labels, KX has been described as “Beatles meets Metallica,” progressive rock/ metal/soul, spiritual rock ‘n’ rollers. They played a 16 song set, including from their new disc “Tape Head,” older songs including “Summerland,” “Black Flag,” “Goldilox,” and an awesome extended jam of the gospel tinged “Over My Head” where Dougsangofhisgrandmotherpraying. Doug’s incredibly powerful and soulful voice blended uniquely with their heavy yet Beatlesque sound. Their trademark sound - lush melodicism, tight grooves, and multi-layered vocal harmonies - was sonically beautiful. After playing two encores, the crowd started chanting “King’s X! King’s’X!” The band came back with smiles and played some old favorites: “Preacher Man” and “King.” It was refreshing to see a crowd ranging from churchgoers to head-bangers (including the members ofPanteragood friends of Pinnick’s) have’an amazing time - adding to the amazing concert experience of majestic proportions. c

IMPRINT,

Friday,

February

ARTS

12, 1999

Wreck vour hearing

WAZl3SLOO

by Paul

Schreiber

hlpmstaf Emm Gryner is Wilfrid Laurie& sort of human being, too. Excepcforthatoneguyinthefront row. “You’re having your own fuckin’ soiree over there,” chided Gryner. “I’ve never seen that at a show before.” Dressed in black, Gryner performed an aggressive eight-song set. By the end of “Your Sort of Human Being,” her first piece, the floor was jam-packed. After rocking through “Human Being” on keyboard with Kevin Fox on cello, she brought the rest of her band: drummer Stephen McCrath and bassist Fil Bucchino. Her emotional rendition of “Summerlong” pleased the crowd, and especially Damian, who turned 21 and had a nice song dedication. The mostly purple-and-gold showgoers were enjoying their free pints of Guinness. “We love you Emm,” shouted one reveller. *‘No,” she corrected him, “I love you.” Working the crowd throughout her entire set, she modestly in traduced herself as someone who was “just gonna play a few songs before Big Wreck comes and changes your life forever.”

Emm went through several tracks from her debut album,Publit: she pounded out “89 Days of Alcatraz,” was clearly the focus of the Turret’s attention during “Phonecall 45” and caressed her keyboard with the catchy-yetmeaningful “Wisdom Bus.” She treated fans to a two-week-old song, “ Revenge,” wrought with emotion: “you let me down /you let me down / there’s no easy way to say goodbye.” Fox switched from cello to acoustic guitar and harmonized nicely with Gryner on “Summerlong” and “Revenge.” Emm Gryner demonstrated her range as musician with a solo cover of Ozzy Osborne’s “heavy metal,” ’80s hit “Crazy Train” and a full-band rendition of the Beastie Boys’ %abotage.” Spotted in the crowd taking in Emm’s set were Toronto musicians Dylan White of Cicero and Matt Hayes of Flashlight. After a short break, the crowd got what they came for. At least I think they did. My right earwasn’t functioning quite so well. Did I mention Big Wreck is loud? Really damn loud. The four blackclad hard rockers treated the crowd to some serious vibrations under an array of blue and pink spotlights. The crowd was jumping by the second song of their roughly dozen-or-solsong set, and started to sing along, joining in with “I love that song.” By the third song,

(GizTl&ER

the Turret’s dance floor had turned into a mosh pit, with body-surfers attempting to hang off of the light rack. Big Wreck’s banterwas sparse, and consisted of a lot of drunken rambling, but lead singer Ian Thorniey was, er, pleased that it was “the last night of the tour for this entire fucking record.” He dedicated “Comforting” to his brother, and followed it up with a surprisingly slower song. Announcing that he was “going to try something else out,” Thornley interjected “but we’re not a cover band. I’m a professional. Professionals get paid.” They thencovered “Motionless,” which featured some nice drum work. By this point, Big Wreck probably could have read the phone bookand received thunderous applause. Near the end of the set, the disco ball was spinning for “Under the Lighthouse,” which was actually a pretty decent rock song. Disappointed by the crowd’s apparent silence, Ian remarked “you guys are getting awful quiet, what’s wrong?” U7ith the disco ball goingonde again and pounding out some funky reverb, they downed a few drinks on stage. After more moshing and a sing-a-long to “row, row, row your boat,” the crowd exited to the speaker system blasting Sheryl Crow’s “My Favorite Mistake,” the best music I’d head since.. . Emm.

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here is a sacred musical group in Canada who have somehow managed to amass a substantial followingwithout any talent whatsoever. The following of frat-boys, beer guzzlers, jocks and ignorant music lovers have come to love them. Their name is The Tragically Hip, the most overrated and untalented bunch of hacks to ever pick up musical instruments. The most common reaction I get when I express my views on the Hip, the usual responses are “How can you call yourself a Canadian?’ Patriotism only goes so far when listening to a band that has no talent. Most people have been blinded by the Hip’s Canadian patriotism, leaving them unable to realize that these guys are terrible. Every time I hear theopening

riff to “Fireworks” on the radio, I cringe. It’s painful to have to hear it. This song is from their most recent release Phan~0m Power, which is a pretty good title for the album, because there must besome unknown force that compels droves

of musically ignorant people to buy their crap. Most people don’t notice that the “Hip” make the same album every year and package it as a “new release.” The reviews that accompaniedUflf0 Wem could be applied to all of their subsequent releases with no changes at all; “this band cannot write anything other than

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4/4 time,

some slower songs, some faster, all with terrible backup vocals accompanied by the endless strumming of basic chords.” But most journalists are spineless, so they put it on their “best of 19whatever” list. What a mistake. The absolute worst aspect of the Hip are their

so far when lisieiing to a band that has no talent.

about? Just listen to “She dldn t know from 0” to

H,’ and;;u,llknow

exacilywhat I’m talking about. Everyone is always making a big deal about the fact that the Hip can’t break the American market. The simple fact is: They aren’t good enough! If the Barenaked Ladies can make it big, anyone can. Except the Hip.

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Friday, February 12, 1999

A hard day’s night by Rebecca

Anstett

/mpr/ntstaF

lexandra Highcrest provides one of the most humoucous, intelligent and honest depictions of prostitution which I have ever encountered, It is both insightful and politically astute, providing both a street-level portrait of the issues of the trade as well as a detailed analysis of the politics of prostitution. Her descriptions of her encounters with people are witty and touching yet tinged with enough sadness to glimpse the depth of her confusion. Despite the fact that she has written a great deal about the desires and fetishes of her customers, she hasdescribed themwitha certain dignity which removes any eroticism from it whatsoever. Rather, I was left with a greater understandingintothemindsof those who solicit the sexual services of others and, with a different perspective, of the services one-might solicit from a prostitute. Born a male, Alexandra has been living as a woman for the past ten years. She grew up insudbury,

Ontario, with the usual mother, father and several siblings. The key influence in her early life was her mother, as she tended not to be interested in the things which her father felt a young boy out to parhunting, fishing, take in -namely cars and tools, even though she did have an interest in aviation and history. As a teenager, Alexandra was ovenveight and rather bookis h, prone to activities which would induce a sense ofescape. Her relationship with her mother haddeteriorated by the time she attended

university and therefore decided to go as far away as possible: the University of Toronto. Atthispointinherlife,shewas broke, barely rising above poverty and taking advantage of the frei:

drugs roaming the streets and the university parties. Hitchhiking from Scarborough to downtown one night, she was picked up by a nicely dressed man with a “soft, sensitive-guy sort of voice.” Thus began her nighr with her first customer. Alexandra’s attitude towards her clients was a combination of respect and detachment; never did she allow any of them to attempt to please her. Rather, she took the job seriously, as anyone would take their form of employment and proceeded as such. I will never forget her experience with the man she refers to asTooth Fairy. “He enjoyed seeing me because I had achipped tooth and cavities. He probed’ and poked around my mouth with a pick, much like a real dentist and questioned me about my dental history.” She states that he stopped calling her when she started seeing a new dentist who <fixed up her teeth.Althoughshefelcthat Tooth’s fetish was strange, * she never ridicules him; rather, she accepts it asanother part of the job, because Tooth was harmless, predictable and paid well. Over the years, Alexandra has been a spokesperson on behalf of the rights of prostitutes and has written many articles on urban issues. She ended her work in the sex trade when she met a woman who accepted her for who she was and who she was going to become. They fell in love, and the rest, as they say, is history.

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spoons to hand-operated meat ,,, .,._.. _..:_ .,..:::>I.., ,.... “’ :’ :: ::::::,I’.: /.,:‘;:;.:::~ ...:;.: : .,. grinders, this book describes the ,_._.__ :::./.:‘:i..:. .,.;:j.. ,_,_,_. __,_._: :,:;,:I’, I::-i~~~.~:~~~vbt ; &&&& .;.::..;: majesty and dented tools of New .,:_,:,..,__ .y..‘. ,,, .___:: ::: .-:_j ::. :. .. Orleans kitchens past and present. ;:w;‘#jy J&jj &&&&$ ‘- .::,,:...: :.,_.. :...:_ ,.:::A.: .::.y’.‘.‘. :;.$j ~l;~~:‘ii;~; Andouille, tasso and zucchini are _: .I::_..:.:: . C.. . _....Jp&g&&&@&. ,_,,_,; :‘: _: ., _, :I___: .::.:_. .,._.,... .,.I :.;$&$p$:;‘:::.‘:; .::.,....-. .,., ___.,.,__., .._.. .,_. . _,_. also explained in the section on r,; .:::..:>_.: .‘_:.I.;:; .::.pg:.: ;_,__ :1;:. ., _, _.._.: y ,,. ,_,_ _, ..___ .._. . .._ _, ::.::.: .‘.. __f.___.:.:..,..: __..,“. &+##~;:.<;;i‘:rj:‘i:., ]:.$y foods of New Orleans kitchens. .,.. ::. The best is savouringly saved until last. “Part Three: The Reciby Rob Van h&turn pes” delves into the wonderful world of brunch (it’s a little past ew Orleans is well-known breakfast but right before lunch). Pain Perdu sounded so delicious I as the feature location of Cops and as the North American home of Creole and Cajun (pron. kay-jawn) cooking. Bring yo’self on down to the bookstore and git

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This very interestingand tasty-recipe-filled book is broken down into three parts. “Part One: Food In New Orleans,” is full of culture and introduces the reader to the Cajun lifestyle. “Part Two: Cooking in New Orleans,” takes the reader on a tour around a well-stocked New Orleans kitchen. From blackcast-iron pots and pans to small smokers, wooden

had to try it right away. . . and it worked on my first cry. The majority of the seafood and fish recipes start in the next

section: appetizers. Three ways to prepare oystercan be found in these dozen pages alone. In your mad rush to try these, don’t forget to try the crawfish cardinal or the shrimp bayou lafourche. And who can claim to have cooked Cajun-style without trying their hand at gumbo. Seafood or chicken and andouille gumbos are perfect: before digging into the later sections on rice and vegetables, fish and shellfish, and meat and poultry. Did I forget to mention the desserts? How does bananas foster sound to yov (did you say 113 cup run?. and l/3 cup banana liqueur)? C>r cherries jubilee (the jubilee comes from the 1 1 /2 cups brandy)? Or pecan pie (no alcohol, sorry)? For any more alcohol you should turn to the section on cocktails (with recipes from the renowned Sazerac Bar at the Fairmont Hotel). One of the most diverse and well-produced cookbooks to come out in months, 72~ Foou'ofNm Orf’eans is a must-buy for anybody who loves good food.

by Keny O’Brien /mprintstizff Sonichrome’s press release calls them “cerebral, ballsy alternative pop.” What? The first thing1 thought upon lookingatthe cover of Sonichrome’s debut album was “Foo Fighters.” The first thing I thought upon lookingat the picture on the inside was “Matthew Good.” And the first thinglthought upon hearing the CD was “Hey! They don’t suck!” In an Airwalks -and-cords alternative society, Sonichrome fits right in, The prerequisite five-o’clock stuhble, organ solos (not too many), and the combination of both lilting and rock rhythms leaves talent to pick up where the originality left off, Thankfully for everyone involved, the members of Sonichrome have the best rock sensibilities this side of Dave Grohl and are able to put togethercatchy riffs and listenable

melodies without too much trouble. Astute listeners will pick out traces of Semisonic (“Honey Please”), the aforementioned Mr. Good and Dave Matthews (“Pack Up and Leave”) as well as many other alterna-teen idols along the way. The difference between Sonichrome and every other “have distortion, will record” band out there is that Sonichrome takes other styles and uses themwE. Each trackiscrafted withaprecise idea in mind, rather than the “uh, let’s jam and hope it comes out OK” approach that can be found on so many other bands albums. One of my favourite tracks on the album has to be “I Don’t Need This Now,” a Beatles-inspired distortion-enhanced tambourine-inclusive tune that’s one of the more soulful tracks I’ve heard from an alternative band this year (and

by ‘cony

Bohr

/mprintdafF

100% Ccr/omb&z~ contains no “Scooby Snacks” -whether that is a bad thing or a good thing depends on you. Nonetheless, IOU% Colombian is an exciting record with elementsofhip-hop, R&B, jazz, blues, rock and pop. The Fun

nally shakecomparisons between their musicandthatofthe k the

speed rock with some strings thrown in, try “Dirty Water,” So I guess that

if I was to try and

of Rage

chismo. With lyrical describeNewYork’s criminal underclass and the aforementioned attitude, FLC create a type of soundtrack for

decipher “cerebral, ballsy alternative pop” I guess I would say “reminiscent of the best, better than the rest.” Maybe that’s why I’m not a public relations rep.

He thinks it’s because she’s really pretty.” Underlying the Montreal-based duo’s pop sound is the bump ‘n grind of R&B and some funky hip hop. The song, “Powder,” which features the rap talents of Meesah and “Push,” which highlights the hlotownguitar sounds of Wah Wah Watson, help create krarie ty and originality wirhin the al bum. Rounding off the al bum arc some slower ballads that lose the drum and bass and bring out the more so~~Ku1 sounds ofthe piano and guitar. “All I Want” is a wistful, dreamy song that slogs the album right down. But not to worry, Sky would

music

Against the Machine. 100% Gulumbiff~ is not forgettable, dis-

no, I’m not counting Hanson or the Moffatts). For some straight ahead Cobain-on-

strated styles, the album proves that the Fun Lovin’ Criminals have a sound ail their own.

Job Opportunity

Want some paradise? by Tasmina Patell hprin t St&4

stereotypical low-brow criminal life. Still, the album remains an interesting collection of songs. The majority of the album has an extremely laid-back and mellow vibe. “Up on the Hill,” the first track sets the tone for the albuni with its rhythmic vocal performance and the sensual feel contributed by guest artist Stuart Matthewman on saxophone. Tracks such as “Love Unlimited,” “The View Belongs to Everyone,” and “Sugar” continue on in the Neo-R&B feel of “Up on the Hill.” Tracks that seem to stand out simply because of their contrast to the mellow and laid-back atmos-

Orientation Trainers Human Resources and St.udent Services is looking to add G students to our training team that is responsible for delivering the Orientation Leader Training program. Teams of’ two will present: four trainjng modules AIcd~ol

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will be of&~-cd throughout the Wintm-, Sprjng ami I%11 terms. 111 addition, you will present our series of educzltianal prclgrarns, “Bricfgcs” which xldresses topics like Alcohol, HIV Kr STWs, Sfrcss & Procrastinalion, Money and 1Q&Xarnpus Housing, in ;I I=UN ;tncl interactive way. Successful candidates must be full or part-time registerti (including co-op) undergraduate students in good academic standing. Applicants must also have a sincere interest in Orientation and Student Life, excellent presentation and oral communication skills, knowledge of oncampus resources and an interest in learning to facilitate discussion among pms. Each member of the team will be expected to work between 2 and 10 hours a month and will be paid $lO/ hour, Successful candidates will also be paid for training they receive before beginning . the program. Interested candidates should forward a resume and cover letter, by February 22, 1999, explaining why they would like to join the Training Teanl to:

there’s an unusual twist. As lead singer, James, explains it, “It’s about this guy who falls in love with Satan in the form of a woman. They move to the suburbs and hacre kids, and e\-crybody gawks.

the two not only write their songs, but they also helped produce most ofthis album. Not something you can say about many of the top-charting artists of today.

More information about Orientation and Bridges can be found on the Studenl Services Web Page: ~lttp:liwww.adm.uwatcrloo.c~illfi,s~~

ARTS

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Friday, February 12, 1999

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I was told to go easy on Master P’s latest music releases, and I ever so soberly said I will be fair. So here I go again, listening to the same old types of songs. For the first song “The Day I Was Made,” thinkofGodfatherwith African Americans as the actors. Imagine them with the worst imitation of the accent. The song itself was about how we should detach ourselves from all that we do in life. I think this is a sad way to live, but of course, I could be wrong in saying living life without feeling life in your heart is not worth it. This mentality is one that letsone think thar everyone is but an article to be purchased. By this I don’t mean just women, I mean cveryone. When you live life the way the song portrays you are in it for the pleasure, your motto is centered around the phrase “name your price because everyone has their price.” It is a CD that be-

24’llonth kg&*

seeDeeier~~~Deteu~

by Katia

lieves the sky is the limit, only because it wants to rule the world. How truly sad! It’s sad because wanting to be on top or succeed is nor wrong, bur whenitcomestothecontentofthis CD, life is nothing but trade and barter. Without realizing the importance of people, it is about living life from “the cradle to the grave.” The irony lies in the fact that this is a rags - to - riches story,

and usually people whocome from such backgrounds tend toappreciate life. The person on this CD is, however, impoverished despite their extravagant life, for exampie: “My family never sees me, I justsendthempresentsonchrist-

mas.” The second song, “Somebody Like Me” still grazed my ear, but the thing I loved about it is the genius of MYA. Qherwise, it was about agirl who told her friend that shewouldnevergooutwithaguy, butallofsuddenhehasmoneyand she falls for the “thug.” You know, falling for “thug love.” Now I wi tl not say women like these don’t exist, but I also don’t believe falling in Iove for the love of money. There were songs that I loved because oftheir production. Some were honest in their words, actually without beingcrude. I actualIyfound the introduction to one of the songs funny. Imagine Steve LJrkel despite hisclumsiness, with beat. Now before someone mistakes me for a se& out, let me say this: this is still a feeble attempt m presenr the gangster lift, the same ugly language, the sameconfilsed and corrupted ideas. Saying one thing, and the next second saying the opposite, it is a confused mentality. I would rather have the songs make a stand, not sing about love or life in one sentence and then sing about how to destroy life or abuse love. You seriously can not have both worlds, and No Limit has yet to learn that, and tact.

Wigglewith Squirm

Grubtsic

/mprintstaff It’s heartening to see a local bunch make good in the real, bigger world and we welcome back prodigal rock&s Squirm withopen arms. Now hailing from’l& ronto, the awesome fivesome has just released their debut CD Cold, the follow-up to the 1994indie cassetteW9V.F.U. Squirm have made their way to the big time in such venues as 360, El Mocambo, and Lee’s Palace in Toronto; the Bomber and Phil’s locally, and a plethora of other Southern Ontario shows. Having never seen the group play live, this album has certainly whetted my wish to do so. C&is a versatile, unexpccced album; cigarette holder and fishnet stocking lounge lizards meet strum-a-lum-a-lumming flower children meet post-modern philoso-rockers. Squirm haven’t quite found themselves yet, but

we’re priiiledged to go along for the ride. Thefirstsongisaweakopener, by no means indicative of the superior sounds to follow. Despite the group’s trademark solid musicianship, the unsophisticated title track doesn’t fulfill its experimental potential, though vocalist Elaine Secord fills out the rest of the album nicely. From the harder, clumsy “Cold” to the cool jazziness of

“Please,” fhe group takes its pxevailing hints of haziness through a slanted musical journey of selfdeprecating self-discovery. “They Don’t See You” is particularly good, with more relaxed scat sing-

ing and a kick-ass guitar solo. As one who likes concise clever poetry in lyrics, I was somewhat disappointed by the songs’ occasional cheap cop-out rhymes and excessive wordiness. “World Upon My Shoulders” partially redeems, full ofsweet words explodingthe uncertainty ofour time, our peers, our glimpses of the future. The whole album is well produced, perhaps with the exception of the jarring occasionally electronized vocals in “Cold, ” ‘t Frantic” is especially well engineered, and the “Key toNothing” remix absolutely rocks! The CD ends wickedly with this sneaky, tweaky bit of pseudo-devil music, the kind of thing you need to hear in a smoky club after having being --brutally dumped, and you gyrate with your eyes closed until renewed sensuality oozes from your bores. Stick around for the cool hidden track, too. Squirm’s hybrid groovy fiavourful nineties label-defiant individualism gives them a sound board to spring from; definitely keep your ear to the track for these, and make sure to check out sound bites and further band twitches atittp:///titen.to/

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All bacultles: Athletic Council Student Athlete Award - open to members of a varsity team in Year 2 or above; based on leadership and financial need. Deadline: Feb. 15199. boreen tjnsbin Award - available to third year Regular or 3B Co-op female students in an Honours program in which women are currently under represented. Deadline: April 30/99. ‘Campus Hecreation tlursary - based on financial need and involvement in the Campus Recreation program. Deadline: Feb. ‘15/99. bon Hayes Award - available to afl based on extracurricular involvement. Deadline: Feb. 15/99. Leeds-Waterloo Student txchange l-Vogram Award - students to contact John Medley, Mechanical Engineering. bon McCrae Basketball Award - open to students who are members of or are involved in the UW men’s varsity basketball squad; based on leadership contribution to the team or the Athletic Department and on financial need. Deadline: Feb. 15/99. hnlke Moser Memorial Award - available to all 3rd or 4th year based on extracurricular involvement. Deadline: Feb. 1999. undergraduate Bursary Program - the Student Awards Office administers a large number of undergraduate bursaries and awards based on financial need and possibly on other factors such as marks, extracurricular activities, etc. Deadline: March l/99. ’ m Swimming Legacy Award - open to students in Year 2 oi above who are members of the UW men’s or women’s varsity swimming team; based on leadership contribution to the team or the Athletic Department and on financial need. Deadline: Feb. 15/99. Douglas T. Wright Award - available to full-time students who have participated in a UW international WORK placement who demonstrated leadership qualities through extracurricular activities during the foreign experience. Students must have distinguished themselves during this work placement by achieving an “outstanding” evaluation. Deadline: Feb. 15199. STC Southw0Mbm Ontario 1s sponsoring an undergrad scholarship for 2nd-4th year Arts or Science students with a 75% average. First prize is $1 ,ooO, second prize is $500, and both include an STC membership. For scholarship requirements and an application, see www .stc. waterloo.on .ca. Deadline is Februarv 15. 1999. Faculty of Applied Health Sci-

ences:

Mark Forster Memonal ScholarShIp available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiology. Deadline: Feb. 15199. )\rlchael Cjellner Memorial Scholarshrp available to all 3rd year Regular Health Studies and Kinesioiogy. Deadline: March 31199. Robert Haworth Scholarship - completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation. Deadline: Mav, 31/99. Faculty of Arts: SK! Southwestern Ontarro IS sponsoring an undergrad scholarship for 2nd-4th year Arts or Science students with a 75% average. First prize is $1,000, second prize is $500, and both include an STC membership. For scholarship requirements and an application, see www.stc.waterloo.on.ca. Deadline is February 15, 1999. Arts Student Union Award - available to all Arts students.

Deadline: Feb. 26I99.

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able to 1B Accountancy Studies based on marks and extracurricular involvement. Deadline: March 31/99. 3 .W . Uyck Scholarship - available to 1 st or 2nd year GSLL students. Deadline: end _..-of_.Winter term. James c. McKegney Memorral Award avaiiable to upper-year Arts students with outstanding performance and/or extracurricular activities in the Hispanic Area - one in Peninsular Spanish Studies and one in Spanish America Studies. Deadline: Feb. $6199. UW-Manulife Community &World Service Award - available td students who have completed a work-term in the service of others, locally, nationally or abroad who received little or no remuneration. interested students should contact Arts Special Programs, HH. westcast Industries Continuous Leaming Award - available to Accountancy Studies for financial need. Deadline: March l/99. Nbculty of tngineering: Andersen Consulting Award - available to 38 Engineering.- Deadline: March 31199. Andy (Andreas) Baumgaertner Memorial Bursary - available 3A or above Systems Design for financial need. Deadline: March l/99. John Bergsma Award In tnglneenng available to all based on financial need, minimum 75% average and leadership/ extracurricular involvement. J P Blckell I-oundation tlursanes - avarlable to all Chemical students. Deadline: March l/99. Canadian Posture and Seating Centre Scholarship - available to all. Deadline: Oct. 15/99. keith Carr Memonal Award - available to 3A/B or 4A Chemical. Deadline: June 30/99. Consulting Engineers of Ontario Scholarship - available to all 3B. Deadline: Ma& 31/99. i=o-operatorsGroup able to 3A Environmental Engineering based on marks and extracurricular invokrement. Deadline: May 31/99. John Deere Limited Scholarship - avalable to all 38 Mechanical with an interest in manufacturing &/or product design. Deadline: March 31/99. belcan Scholarship - avaIlable to 4tia based on interest/experience in the transportation field. Deadline: Feb. 27199. Randy Duxbury Memonal Award - available io all 38 Chemical. Deadline: March31 /99. Robert Haworth Scholarship - available to 3B Civil. Deadline: May 31199. s .t; . Johnson & Son Ltd. &vironmentaf Scholarship - available to 38 Environmental (Chemical). Deadline: May31/99. bntano Hydro Engineering Awards available to 1B Chemical, Electrical, Environmental or Mechanical. Eligible candidates will be women, aboriginal (native) Canadians, persons with disabilities or visible minorities. Deadline: July 31199. Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - avalT able to 38 Civil - Water Resource Management students. Deadline: May 3i 199. Shell Hectultment Scholarship - avallable to Chemical, Mechanical, Civil and Electrical & Computer who have or will be applying for a Co-op position with Shell. Deadline: March 15/99. Standard froducts (Canada) Ltd. Award .

- available

to all with preferences

able to 36 Mechanical students who are interested in enrolling in the Welding Specialiration. Deadline: March l/99. wescast lndustrres C’onttnuous Learning Award - available to all for financial need. Deadline: March l/99. J k Wiseman Award - available to 38 CyGil. Deadline: Oct. 30199. I-acuity of I2nvironmental Studies: Robert Haworth Scholarshrp - completion of 3rd year in an honours programme in resource management related to Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage, or Outdoor Recreqtion. Deadline: May 31/99 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarshrp - avatlable to 3rd year Environment & Resource Studies, Planning, Water Resource Management. Deadline: May 31&9. ‘tome Russwurm Memonal Award available to Year 2 or above in Geography; open to undergraduate and graduate (preference to undergrads); based on financial need, marks, and extracurricular involvement, Deadline: March 1199. Faculty of Mathematics andersen Consultng Award - available to 38 Math. Deadline: March 31/99 Certf ‘f’ie d Management Accounting t3ursary - available to full-time students in Mathematics- Business Administration/ Chartered Accountancy. Preference will be given to sudents who attended high school in counties of Perth, Waterloo, or Wellington. Deadline: May 31/99. Co-operators Group Ltd. Award - available to 3A Actuarial Science based on marks and extracurricular involvement. Deadline: May 31/99. brankIln B. Dana Memona’ I Bursary open to 2A or above Actuarial Science for financial need. Deadline: March l/99. &ctrohome Bth Annlverary Scholarship -available to 3B Computer Science. Deadline: March 31/99. briar Luca Pacloll Award - available to IS Accountancy Studies based on marks and extracurricular involvement. Deadline: March 3lI99. ‘shell Recruitment Scholarship - available to 3A, 38, or 4A Computer Science or Business Administration students who have or will be applying for a Coop position with Shell. Deadline: March 15/99. bescast lndustnes Continuous Leaming Award - available to Accountancy Studies for financial n8& Deadtine: March I/99. baculty of Science 3 .P . &kell )-oundatron &~~artes - ava!lable to upper year Earth Sciences. Deadline: March I/99 C J h 81So Ltd tnvironmentat &h~l&~~~availa~le td 3rd year Chemistry.

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DAYTONA BEACH FLORIDA SPRING BREAK ‘99. Party at one of Daytona’s most popular Spring Break hotels, Desert Inn Resort. Reserve Now and SAVE up to $100 per room. Hotel only $11 S/quint or Bus and hotel $26B/quint. February 14-22. Book 1 Ofriends GO FREE! Lowest price guaranteed! Thames Travel l800-962-8262. Spring Break? Panama City Beach! Reservations (toll free) l-850-234-6657. (ask about $1 S/nightly discount). Unlverslty and College Whitewater Weekend - join students from across Ontario at Wilderness Tours on the Ottawa River. A fun filled weekend June 1 I -I 3, 1999. Rafting, camping, meals, live entertainment - special rate $150 plus GST. Phone l-600-267-91 66 or wt8 wildernesstours.com

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Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - avallable to 38 Earth Science/Water Resource Management. Deadline: May 31 /B9. physics Alumni Award - available to any Physics or Physics/Business based on financial need and good acdemic standing. Deadline: March 1199. Applications for the scholarships are being accepted during the Winter term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Application forms are available in the Student Awards CZlce, 2nd Floor, Needles Hall.

Travel - teach English: 5 day/40 hour, May 12-16 or Aug. 4-8 or Oct. 20-24, Toronto. TESOL teacher cert. course (or by correspondence). Th: =-isands of jobs available now! FREE in? pack, toll free t-888-270-2941.

Chemical and Mechanical based on marks (minimum 75%), financial need and leadership abilities. Preferences will be given to students who have a home address in the Country or Municipality of Perth, Huron or Halton. Deadline: March l/99. welding Product Manufacturers Association of Canada Scholarship -avail-

Flwm for rent - close to Conestoga Mall and bus, parking, laundry faeilities, house shared. Call for details 8860946 after 4 0.m. or leave a messaae. Now renting for Sept. 1999. 1,2,3,5 and 6 bedroom units, available close to universities. Call Mike 669-4646. FREE room and possible access to a car for two months (February and March) available for a mature, responsible person with references. In exchange for light housekeeping and light care of a female student with broken ankle. Available immediately. Leave message for Lynn 742-1075, ext. 1, or phone 888-4048 and ask for Laurie.

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P&knal typist availabb to cfeate outstanding looking essays, reports, etc. Prices available on quotation. Telephone: (519) 650-@%9, fax: 650-5270, Email: (519) linuscan@attcanada.net. Contact Lisa Southam. book your own bus trip at THE LYRIC on any Saturday Night for the Winter Semester. THE LYRC will give your Group FREE Admr:r;‘L::on, FREE Food, FREE Concert TicWs, FREE Prizes, SUBSIDIZED Tran SEzrtation, AND the BIGGEST PARTY l+‘X in the World on our STUDENT :-; :B NIGHT on Saturdqys. Call ou +=O-UNE now at (519) 749-2121. Come down tow:“-“ the Lyric’s University Pub Saturd Complimentary Qnko’s at 10:30, shuttle bus picks u. 11 :OO, 11:30 and ’ li. For more info call 749-2121. Custom Essay& :Q-:%subjects) induding

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Get Ready, Get Set, Go! The WatertooWellington Chapter of the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of Canada is looking for volunteers to help with their upcoming special event, the tieel ‘n’ Wheel-a-Thon. For info call 746-0202. Big Sisters of Kitchener-Waterloo and area needs you! Female volunteers are required to develop one-on-one relations with girls (aged 4-17) and boys (aged 4-11) years. For info call 7435206. build your resume! Give to the community! Friendly volunteers are desperately needed to provide companionship to people who have Alzheimer Disease. Two hours/week commitment. Training/ support provided. Call Alzheimer Society 742-l 422. The City of Waterloo Volunteer Senrices, 888-6488, is currently recruiting for the following volunteer position: ‘Volunteer Drivers”: are needed to drive seniors to senior day away program on Wednesday and Friday mornings. “Volunteer Program Assistants” are needed to assist with a senior’s day program consisting of a variety of organized and supervised group activities designed to meet participant needs and capabilities. Three to four hours per week is required. English Tutor Program - volunteer tutors are needed to tutor students on a one-to-one basis in written and oral English. Tutors meet students on campus for 1 term, usualiy once a week for l-2 hours. Volunteer at the International Student Office, NH208Oorcallext.2814 or email darlene @watservl . Volunteers with car and time during day are needed to drive elderly clients to medical and other appointments. Flexible position. Mileage reimbursement available. RAISE Home Support, 7447666. Volunteer a Friday night with the K-W Association for Community Living to help adults with a developmental disability participate in recreation and leisure activities. Call Susan at 743-5783. lf you are interested in any of the following opportunities, please call Sue Coulter at the Volunteer Action Centre at 742-8610. Please quote the number following the title. Further information about the VAC can be found at http:// www.wchat.on.ca/public/kitchener/ vacfiles/vac.htm. NOTE: the VAC has moved ta 68 Queen Street North, Kitchener, N2H 2H2 {across from the Kitchener Public Library). Have Fun and Meet New People While Getting Involved in a Worthwhile Cause - #186

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Volunteers are needed to assist in the planning, promotion and the recruitment of participants for the 4th annual Waterloo-Wellington Heel’n Wheel-a-Thon which will take place on Sunday, June 6 at Bingemans. Criminal Justice Program Volunteers #134 Are you looking for experience with criminal justice programs? Here is an opportunity to participate in a short-term diversion program. Become an Office Clerk - #205-1651 for Regional Addiction and Family Counselling. A volunteer with people skills, answering phones, booking appointments, computer tasks, etc. is needed for 3 or 4 hours on a Friday, Saturday or a weekday evening. Fundraiser Extraordinaire - ##072-2244 KW Friendship Group for seniors needs more members on its fundraising committee. The committee meets once per month for a couple of hours. Shoppersand Drivers in Demand - #058203 RAISE Home Support Service for the elderly provides services to Kitchenets special need seniors so that those seniors may remain longer in their own homes. Drivers are needed to take seniors to and from appointments and to do their shopping. Really Make a Difference in achild’s Life * #102 A new prenatal nutrition program is starting in the Waterloo Region to support pregnant women who, for whatever reason are having difficulty eating healthy food during their pregnancy. Special people are required to provide infants and toddlers with extra special attention and care while their moms are in the program. Be a Part of the Excitment - #lo1 -2565 KW is hosting the 1999 Ontario Games for the Physically Disabled and your help is needed. Although the event does not take place until July, planning must get under way now. Volunteer as aTransportation Convenor - #009-2572 and show you care. The Canadian Cancer Society urgently needs volunteer dispatchers/conveners for the Patient Transportation Program. Big Sisters - ask about our short-term match program created for university students. A car is an asset. Call 7435206 and ask about our 1 day training session March 6, 1999 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17,1999 Gays and Lesbians of Waterloo (GLOW) Coming Out Discussion Group. Topic: “Becoming Aware of Our Sexuality’, at 7:30 p.m. Social follows at 9 p.m. HH378. Meet oldfriendsand make new ones. All welcome. Details: 8844569. SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 21,1999 Spanlsh Club Dance Lessons-Tango -from 7-9 p.m. at the PAC, Studio 2. Six lessons. Sign up on door of Spanish Lounge, MC 2458, one week prior to guarantee yourself a spot or show up at class the first day. It is a good idea to come with a partner. TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23,1999 A Choral Special Event! “The Vancouver Chamber Choir” in concert with “The Renaissance Singers”. One appearance only at St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, Kitchener at 8 p.m. For tickets; Twelfth Night Music Store in the Atrium, Waterloo Town Square or call 745-0675. The Cercle Francais will be holding a French concert with Eric Belzile at the Bombshelter Pub-Student Life Centre, at 7:3O p.m. This event is free. Come have a beer and listen to French music.

MONDAYS The Outer Club meets at 6:30 p.m. in Math & Computer, room 4040. For more http:// info please see watservl .uwaterloo.ca/-outers/ frontoae.html English Language Lab/class is from 2:30-3:20 p.m. in Modern Languages 113, September to June. The class has an emphasis on pronunciation and Iistening exercises. Students, faculty, staff and spouses are welcome to attend. For more information contact the International Student Office, ext. 2814. WEDNESDAYS Grace Christian Fellowship, a gathering of Christians and those interested in Christianity, meets at 4:30 p.m., St. Paul’s United College, McKirdy Hall. Details: Graham E. Mohey, ext. 3633 or g2morbey8 watservl . Off ice: SLC 2126. FRIDAYS English Conversation Class meets from 2-4 p.m. in NH 2080, Septemberto June. Students, faculty, staff and spouses are invited to attend. For more infocall ext. 2814, International Student Off ice. SATURDAYS Farmer’s Market Bus schedule. The bus will pickup and return at 9:15, IO:@, and 11:30 a.m. Tickets $2.00 Ask at the Turnkey Desk, SLC for more info.

ALL residents of Watertoo are required by law to clear snow and ice from the sidewalks at the front of their home within 24 hours of snowfall. HopeSpring is launching fundraising project. Limited editio: rints signed and numbered b artist Ii ert Willlams will be available Yor purchase at a price of $200 unframed, or $275 framed through Gra stone Gallery. For more info about rt opespring contact 8etty at 43 Allen Street W., Waterloo. 742-4673. Ebytown Food Co-operative: organic, locall grown, minimally packa ed food Yor people, not for profit. A ii ordable prices! 280 Phillip Street, Building A4, Waterloo Co-operative Residence. Call 886-8806 for weekly store hours. Guided Self Change of alcohol use: for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counselling Services (ext. 2655) to find out Waterloo-Germany Exchqe zFe;tsto all students. Receive UW - language fluency - Intemational experience - Intercultural skills1 Deadline is March 15, 1999. For more info contact secretary in Modern Languages, Rm 313 or the Director at 885-l 211 ext. 2260 or htt :l!watarts. uwaterloo.cal-mboehrin/ E xchange/ mannheim. html. St. Paul’s United College has rooms available for the Winter ‘99 and Spring ‘99 terms. Please call 885-l 460 or drop by for an application and a tour! The Canadian Society of Painters in Watercolour presents Nameless Waters. University of Waterloo Art Gallery January 14 - February 21, 1999. Informal Opening Reception: January 14, at 4 p.m.. For more info, call (519) 888-4567 x3575 or x6923. St. Paul’s United College has parking available for the Winter 1999 term. For information lease call 885-1460 or drop by the i usiness Office to see us. Designing Learning Activities with Interactive Multimedia - IS301 A (W99) A new Independent Studies project course sponsored by the office of Teaching Resources and Continuing Education (TRACE). Students in the course will develop an understanding of the following areas of knowledge: the processes at work in mediated learning activities; the potential and limitations of interactive multimedia instruction; the steps of the development process for instructional multimedia, including recommended milestones, reviews, and risks; the components of an effective design for tearnercentred software. For more information, please contact Instructor Kevin Harrigan, PhD x6832, kevinh 8 uwaterloo.ca This January the Farmer’s Market will be in operation again. Students may purchase their $2.00 tickets at the Turnkey Desk in the Student Life Centre. This return fare offers students a trip to the Farmer’s Market in St.Jacobs to shop. Crafts, fresh produce, meats, cheeses and flea market buys are all part of this famous local market. So jump on board and enjoy one of the many services offered to you at the University of Waterloo! Waterloo Community Arts Centre is offering a number of workshops during the months of February and March on Silk Painting, Watercolour, Figure Drawing and more. For details, please call (519) 886-4577.25 Regina

St. S., Waterloo, ON. N2J 1 R8. Career Workshop for Arts Students. Join alumni as they share advice on the job search strategies that get results. 8:30 - 330 p.m., Saturday, March 6. Contact Christine Woods, HH 146, Ext. 2119. The WATclreen Advisory Committee requires icformation from-Service Departments, Staff, Students and Faculty reprding campus environmental activities for presenting the state of the environment report for UW. For further information or to forward reports, please contact Patti Cook, Waste Management,DC. . Due to heavy snowfall this winter Recycling Blue Boxes must be put where they can been seen for pickup, on top of snowbanks or end of driveways. For more info call 883-5150, yxt. 2ti. UW-CMCC ChiroDractic Research Clinic is pleased to innounce Jeffrey R. Tuling will now be practicing in this cl init. Call 888-4567, ext. 5301 for more jnfa. Did vou make a new year resolution to St&l working on getiing a rasp of some of the interoersonal conf Plets that are going on in ‘your life? Or, maybe your life IS running smooth right now, and you are just interested in working on your communication and conflict resolution skills. The University Conflict Resolution Support Program will be offerin workshops on four consecutive d ednesdays, starting on Wed., Feb. 24 and finishing on Wed., Mar. 17. The sessions runs from 3:30-5:30 p.m. at Engineerin Lecture Hall, EL209. The workshop is 7ree and all is welcome. For more info and registering call Catherine Fry at ext. 5671 or cafrv@ uwaterloo.cL Thanks to the great support given by the staff and students at UW. 240 donations of blood was collected last week at the SLC of which 67 were first time donors. That works out to 960 patients that will have their life extended or saved. From Canadian 8lood Services and your community - thanks. We look forward to coming back March 29-Aoril 1 in the Student Life Centre. a Canadian Federation of University Women K-W - 35th Annual Used Book Sale at the First United Church, King and William Streets, Waterloo, on April 9 from noon, until 9 p.m. and April 10 from 9 a.m. to 1 o-m. For info/ to donate call 740-5249. ’ A Choral Speciat Event1 “The Vancouver Chamber Choir” in concert with ‘The Renaissance Singers’. One appearance only on February 23 at St. Andrew’s Presb terian Church, Kitchener at 8 p.m. b or tickets: Twelfth Night Music Store in the Atrium, Waterloo Town Square or call 745-0675. St. Jacobs Schoolhouse Theatre presents ‘Serenade’ with Anne-Marie Donovan, Michael Donovan and Leslie Wyber on February 27 at 8 p.m. at 11 Albert Street. St. Jacobs. For info/tickets call 664-i 134. The Elora Festival Si ers resent J.S. Bach’s masterpiece, ?he &. Matthew Passion, on March 7 at 3:30 p.m. at the Church of our Lady in Guelph. For info and tickets call 846-0331. Career Workshop for Arts Students. Join alumni as thei share advice on the job search strate ies that get results. 8:30-3:30 p.m., 8 aturday, March 6. Contact Christine Woods, HH 146, ext. 211Q