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‘This is real spirit UW’s first rave a celebration of students
P 11 .
eace, love, unity, respect, resistance and youth was the call on Tuesday, March 30 at UW’s first rave, Dystruption. Around SO people descended on the grassy knoll between Needles Hall and Modern Languages for some noon time music and sidewalk colouring. The mood was light as the 30 or so students left the SK for the “secret location” that was revealed only moments before. As a student handed out sidewalk chalk “for writing stuff’ the people became giddy with anticipation. The event did not disappoint. Everyone was in a festive mood as they danced to the music of the DJ and drew colourful pictures and sayings on the nearby pavement and buildings. Some of the sayings included: “Free love + gst;” “age,
race, religion - we’re all students; ” “welcome to my world;” “because together we are more than each of us could ever be;” and “this is our school right?” The excitment continued as more and more students joined the fun as passer-bys shed their coats for some spontaneous dancing. Campus security showed upat the beginningof the event but said that they did not expect any troubleand left about halfway through. The colourful chalkdrawings were removed shortly after the rave by UWMaintenance, theonly sour note in an otherwise fun afternoon. Dystruption was organized by members ofAr;tRiotand the Midafternoon Rave Collective as a reaction against the administration closing down the Feds rave that was scheduled for Saturday, March 27. Administration felt that a rave would encourage drug use. They were also worried about the all-
ADJ’se~eview -raversdance up a storm while administration lookson (toprightwindows). photo by Kleran Green ages nature of the event. Dystruption went offwithout a hitch. Dave Eby, one of the organizers, said that he was “glad everything worked out” and
wanted to “thank the administration for not busting us.” One raver summed it up this way: “This is so awesome! I’m so proud they had the guts to do this.”
Canis Lupus in the doghouse Movie a no-show as 500 students demd by Paul Sckeibtr Imp/llntStti
F
ive hundred students showed up at Fed Hall Monday night, expecting to see the premiere ofCanislupus. They left without ever having watched a single minute of film. At ‘8:30 p.m., the advertised start time of the movie, nothing was on the
screen.Fifteen
Flynn told Imprint that “Mike made false claims all night” and that she herself was “overoptimistic” in believing that the movie would be ready on time. She was informed around 890 p.m.
that the movie was still at Ed Video in Guelph, where it was being transferred, and it would arrive at Fed
she “would have cancelled [the premiere]” if she had known this was the case. “It’s so frustrating,” Flynn added, “I figured [the crew] could at least handle their opening night.” The cancellation of the movie cost “everyone.” Over $1,200 in ticket money had been collected
refunds nancing the movie. The entire event was characterized by disorganization. The production team didn’t provide Fed Hall with a guest list, and Flynn noted she “could probably foresee a lot of this coming.” Robert Couture, a UWaudiovisual technician working the event, noted that Fed Hall’s food
“I figured they could at least handle their opening night.”
minutes later, at 8:45 p.m., Mike Downing told the audience that the projector was broken and another one was on its way. Downing repeated his claim at 945 p.m., adding that refunds were available. By 1090 p.m., Feds VP Internal Shelley Flynn had “had enough of this charade” and told the crowd that the movie had not yet arrived.
Hall “within the hour.” According to Flynn, one-third of the way into the recording, problems occurred as a result of damage to the footage tape. She stated that Ed Video did not have the capacity to work on a film the length ofCanlsLup#sand that the technician working on the film had only three days’ experience. The VP Internal stated that
from 500 students in attendance. “At 8:30, it was not a money-losing event,” stated Flynn. By 12: 15 a.m., only$15 of that $1200 was left, due to refunds. The money was charged to recoup costs and “it will never do it in the capacity it could have [Monday] night,” complained Flynn. The Feds, she stated, had spent “roughly over $2,000” fi-
;::pPr 9
and -dipping sauces were all in short supply. One actor’s parents came from Sarnia to see the film, only to go home disappointed. ITlynn was clearly upset over the botched premiere of Canis Lupus. Imprint asked her if the Federation would consider funding a movie in the future. “I will continued
to page 5
Features: Bombs away . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . * . . . . . 11 l
l
NEWS
4
IMPRINT,
Thursday, April 1, 1999
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Spend
your
Summer
at
ourse evaluations at Waterloo are a hot Federation of Vice
Presi-
1Applied Heallh Sciences
dent Education Robin Stewartsatdown with a dozen or so students Engineering and several facultyrepresentatives to discuss the issue. Mathematics UW Provost and Vice President Acai demic Jim Kalbfleisch, i TRACE Director Gary ‘Psychology Griffin and Faculty Association President Carol Peterson spent part of Saturday, March 20 explaining their views regarding the quality of education and how to best use teaching evaluations. Stewart stated that the key issue at the academic roundtable was performance indicators on qualityofteaching. It was *‘achance for students and faculty to get together and discuss issues.” Kalbfleisch and Griffin discussed what is currently being done in terms of quality of teaching, mutual concerns about it, and how to solve problems surrounding the issue. The panel identified four areas of mutual concern: thepublication of course evaluations so students can see the results, the need for informal evaluations of professors and teaching assistants early in the term, the benefits of a universally administered source for course evaluations and exit polling by graduates to evaluate their just-completed program as a whole.
faculty
no
no
I
has its own furm. graphic
There was general agreement that all four of the aforementioned ideas were good ones. Stewart will be submitting a report to the Senate and hopes for discussion and action. However, there is disagreement when it comes to the written comments students fill out on the back of their course evaluations. Many faculty members believe these comments should not be made available - they believe comments are intended for the professor and not other students. Milan Konopek, the Academic Commissioner of Queen’s University’s AIma Matter Society, was also at the roundtable, and explained how Queen’s has universal, published course evaluations. According to M~,&w~‘s, McMaster University’s student evaluations are now available on the Internet. Engineering society Presiden t Ryan Chen-Wing felt that “compared to other schools, the informa-
by Paul Schrelber
tion isn’t as accessible; it’s almost secret. ” Imprint spoke with Griffin regarding the role of the TRACE office and how it deals with the results of course evaluations. According to GriMin, TRACE’s mandate is to “try and help people improve teaching and learning.” TRACE works with between three and six professors intensively a term, as well as handling specific questions by phone. TRACE helps both teachers who are not happy with the results of their course evaluations and those who want to try something new. He describes the client base as a mixture of both “excellent” teachers as well as “some that need help and know it.” Both teachers new to UW and veterans request help from TRACE. Griffin .beIieves the course evaluations are important, and that ‘*some faculty” do pay attention to them.
How to hard boot your computer by Rebecca
Anstett
h7phitSt~
A Application & Documentation Deadline is April 15, 1999 for courses taken on a Letter of Permission bincrease your options Blighten your course load bevening and some day classes bfull credit classes beginning May 3 and b half credit classes beginning May 3 and June 21 Introductory classes are available in Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Computer Science, Kinesiology, Psychology, Mathematics For a complete listing of courses contact: The Office of the Registrar McMaster University (905) 5259140, ext. 24796 or (905) 5254600 or http://registrar.mcmaster.ca/info.htm
Stress Relief Clinic was held Wednesday, March 30 hosted by the Theta Psi chapter of the Sigma Chi in association with the Federation of Students. The Clinic, sponsored in conjunction with the Global Youth Network, was organized to benefit the victims of Hurricane Mitch in Honduras. Basil Broumeriotis, the chairman of philanthrophy and public relations was attempting to think of “crazv , ideas to raise money for charity” when he came up with the idea for the Clinic - to smash computers. He contacted old electronic stores in the area and requested “junk” from University businesses. Companies also do-
The requested donation was $2 for ten seconds with the hardware .and $4 for 20. Those who
nated
chose
their
old equipment-
Basil spent most of the day with a megaphone, attempting to persuade passing students to reduce their stress for charity. “That looks like a prime weapon of choice,” he commented to an individual in need of relief.
ShouldabougkaMac! photo by Rob Schmidt
to ignore
the
“sUggested”
time limit were allocated a certain amount of water from a supersoaker. All participants had the opportunity to select a weapon of their choice. Following their moment in the ring, all participants were judged on their prowess.
The Stress Relief Clinic was apparently successful. Simon Woodside described his experience as “[making] me feel awesome! I hate computers.” Mike Habicher added, “I can feel my arms tingling with rage.” Frieda and Ian said that; “It made us feel good because we’re computer science majors and it’s for a good cause.”
IMPRINT,
April
Thursday,
NEWS
I, 1999
5
Y vs. E: why can’t we be friends? by Mark A. Schaan Ryan Chen-Wing
and
hprintstti
W
howould haveexpected a spelling bee this late in life? Tuesday night, about 50 people gathered to witness and participate in a debate over the lettering of the Womyn’s Centre; with a “Y” or an “E.” The debate proved to be very entertaining and spilled into over an hour of public discussion. The SLC comfy lounge crowd was encouraged to express their opinions as well as vote on their choice of vowel. While the debate ended in a draw, Feds VPSI Meredith Owen still feels it was important “togenerace discussion.” Owen heard
complaintsaboutthecurrentvowel echoed throughout her recent focus groups on Fed services. Owen felt that the issue “needed to be discussed” and she’s “very proud of the the Womyn’s Centre for holding this forum.” Doug Suerich and Allana Rumble argued vehemently for a
Fed&~ Education-electveronica Chau and Ryan Kennedy. Chau argued that the Womyn’s Centre is about “celebrating our differences” and encouraged the audience to “wake up to the fact that language determines our interactions and our perceptions.” Kennedy forwarded that “by keeping the ‘Y’ in womyn we are
"We've done it. Let's move on." :::;~:~mi... and not turning our backs on
change back to the “E.” Suerich forwarded that the “Y” doesn’t meet the Womyn’s Centre’s mandate and actually hinders its progress on campus. Rumble agreed, citing that the “Y” “set up the image that certain requirements need to be met in order to be accepted at the Womyn’s Centre.” Countering the “E”s were
their struggle.” Suerich continued to defend the “E” as a means to better mobilize the forces of equality for women. He cited that “the letters on the end ofwomen do not change the reality” in society and that by keeping the “Y,” “we are giving people an excuse not to get involved.” Kennedy responded that
Movie premiere a bust continued
Hall (SCH) to take pictures of Downing removing the covers advise Chris [Harold] to be very fromImprint. Williams found two KW police officers discussing careful and be on the ball,” she e>iplained. Downing’s littering of the reCoucllre,whowas inchargeof moved Imprint covers. A short the IN player Monday night, artime later, two members of Imrived tit Fed Hall at 6:00 p.m. print Publications Ltd.‘s Board of LIround 7:3Op.m., Downingasked Directors, Niels Jensen and PresiCouture whether the equipment dent Justin Kominar, arrived at SCH. was set up, and the technician confirmed thx it was. However, he They were informed by the pointed out, “the tape hadn’t arofficers that Downing was within rived.” Couture told Imprint that his rights to modify the papers as the latest possible start time for the he saw fit. In fact, Downing could 90-minute movie would-have been have taken all the papers home with him. When Kominar at11:15p.m.,andat11:45p.m.,Downing apologized to tempted to rethe 60 remaining move the deaudience memfaced papers (which was bers and told them the film would not also within his be shown. The rights), Jensen tape eventually stated that arrived at 1215 Downing a.m. “shoved him Couture was away.” At this upset at how the point, Serg e a n t problems were handled: “I was Marshall appalled that Gavin arrived. [Downing] made Downing a comment that claimed that there was a prob30 other peolem with the ple were in equipment when various locations on camitwashisfadt. Fed MikeDowningexplainshis~~~~ pus removing Hall has gotten a tOUmPUsecu~~. Imprint covbad enough repuphoto by Lana Williams ers tation over the 9 which years they proved not to be true. don’t need this.” When Kominar attempted for The botched premiere was not C&s Lupus’s first miscue. During a second time to take the papers, Downing lunged at Kominar and filming, controversy erupted when threw what Williams described as Downing shut down the Student Life
Centre.
from
page 3
On Friday,
March
26,
Downing became upset over the placement of theCanis!Xupusad in Imprint (the ad was inside the back cover). Flynn described him as “highly agi tared.” Around 230 p.m.,ImprintphotographerLana Wifliams arrived at South Campus
“a bunch
of papers”
at him. Gavin
then arrested Downingandcharged him with assault. The charges were dropped and Downing was released. Roughly one hour later, Imprint Editor-in-Chief Kieran Green found Downingoutside the
many people in the Womyn’sCentre are the radicals and activists pushing the realities of equality into the mainstream and that “if the people who are using the Womyn’s Centre are considered radical and activist, then so be it.” Seurich believes we are moving into a more equalitarian era where feminism no longer needs to be out of the mainstream. BarbaraSaundersof WPIRGquestioned, “Why aren’t we there yet? Why aren’t we getting equal pay ?
Imprint office folding the papers over so his advertisement was on the front of the paper. Green attempted to calm Downing down, When this failed, he notified Imprint Publications’ Board, and Kominar, Jensen and Tracy Hunt along with several staff members confronted Downing. Downing went over to the Bombshelter with Flynn and Gavin, where he was calmed down and agreed not to alter any more papers.
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Why are we being raped every hour in this country” After the formal debate discussion was opened up to everyone in the Great Hall and discu’ssion proved lively. At the end of the event, ballots were passed around. When counted, the results were 22 for “E,” 22 for “Y” and three spoiled ballots cast for “diversity, ” “womeyn” and “I.” Discussion will likely arise in the future but for now, as Woloshyn said, “We’ve done it. Let’s move on.”
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NEWS
6
IMPRINT,
Thursday,
April
1, 1999
Newsyouneedto knew. is running a focus group for new product launch. Sessions last approximately 2 hours, from 7-9 p.m. downtown Toronto. Participants receive $100 cash. If you are female, 18-35, and over 5’ IO” caff l-800-6 1 l-4343
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calls
Exams
9 and finish April 23. The Winter work term ends on April 30, and Spring lectures and work terms begin on May 3.
as usual Mother,
Informations Systems and Technology is giving away telephone calls to Toronto as part of a test of voice over Internet Protocol (IP) service. The special phone is connected to the campus network, not to Bell’s central office or the LlW telephone switch. Calls can be made to any number in the 416 area code from a special phone located in MC
Most students at Waterloo will be spending the-next few weeks studying hard for finals. The last day of classes is April 1 for Math and Engineering and April 6 for everyone else. Check the doomsday lists online or posted in the SLC and most faculty buildings for dates, times and locations. Final exams commence April
mother,
blood
The Canadian Blood Services are holding their final clinic today in the SLC. This is your last chance! Run now! Go give blood, dammit. Appointments can be arranged at the Turnkey desk, but showing up with forearms outstretched is fine too. The clinic runs until 4 p.m. today.
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s of today, Canada has three territories to go along with ‘ts standard bill of 10 provinces. Yes, April 1 marks the birth of Nunavut, a territory that has seceded from the Northwest Territory. Now, Nunavut will have twice the land of Ontario, but there will only be 25,000 people. Of these 25,000,85 per cent will be Inuit. The regions that Nunavut will possess include Baffin, Kivalliq and Kitikmeot. The capital city will be Iqaluit, on the Western shore of Baffin Island. So, what celebrations and ceremonies occurred last night? At II:15 p.m., there was an interdenominational church service at Nakasuk School. At midnight, fireworks were lit at the shore of the capital to signify the beginning of
“our land.” Once the fireworks ceased, the swearing in of the commissioners of Nunavut commenced at 1220 p.m. at the gymnasium of Inuksuk High School. Overnight, the hangar that will greetPrime Minister JeanChr&ien was prepared for’ such an occasion. As for today, Chr&ien will arrive at Hangar One in Iqaluit at 11:30 a.m. Obviously, our head honcho will address the crowd and declare this day as a historic moment for the people of the North. Later in the day, the first session of the Nunavit Legislative Assembly will commence. This assembly consists of 19 MLAs and Paul Okalik, the first premierchosen by the Assembly to head this new territory. Finally, entertainment will be the order of the night as a gala musical concertwill fill the air with sweet music. As well, there will be an accordion and fiddle
festival and a rock music concert. Although the publiccan attend this concert, there will be seating only for 1,500 people. The official languages for Nunavut will be English, French and Inuktitut. For those who are ignorant, Inuktitut is a tongue that is written in syllabics, particularly in the regions of Baffin, Kivalliq, East Kitikmeot, Northern Quebec and Labrador. “Qanuipit” asks how one is doing. To respond, one would say “Qanuingittunga” (I am fine). To say your name, one only needs to say “Uvanga John” (My name is John). To say where one is from, just say “Waterloo miungujunga.” In the summer, yours truly will hope to begin writing columns on how tolearn Inuktitut just in case one wants to head to Nunavut. Nevertheless, for now, Tavvauvusi!
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elderly persons around hot stoves and while bathing, installing fire extinguishers in the home and work place, wearing non-flammable clothing and protecting against sunburn by wearing a hat and sunscreen lotion, Signs and symptoms of a first degree burn include reddened, dry skin, slight swelling, with pain ranging from mild to severe. Second degree burns include raw, moist skin, from white tocherryred with blisters which weep a clear fluid. Pain is extreme with this type of burn. Themostseverebumisathird degree bum, in which the full depth of tissue is severely destroyed. This may include a white, waxy appearance which becomes dry and leathery with charred skin and underlaying tissues. It is important to note that the casualty feels little to no pain in
Ip the deeply burned area. First aid treatment differs dependingon the type of burn which the casualty experiences. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind: immediately cool the area of heat burns until the patient does not complain of heat, and cover burned area with clean, sterile material which is not fluffy. Flush chemical burns thoroughly with cool water for 15-20 minutes and brush away chemicals (not with bare hands!). Never approach a casualty with an electrical injury until the power is turned off. If wires are down, call the local powercompany immediacely. Buminjuriescanbeprevented using common sense and safety precautions. If there are any more questions regarding first aid, please contact the CRT located in the SLC clubs area.
7
NEWS
Thursday, April 1, 1999
IMPRXNT,
Whatis the one thingyou regret campus (&xstiorx do,“gfhis te,-?
by Justine
“I smoked
Saccomanno
and Michael
too much pot.”
“Taking
Paul Newman 3A Science/Business
“Missing
the deadline
Zepf (photos)
courses.”
Glen Miner 3B Computer
for Health
344.”
“Playing studying.”
“Nothing,
volleyball
instead
of
Cindy Felming, Asako Gomi, Quoc Nguyen 3N Heukh, 3A He&h, 4’V HeuZth
“Spending computer
too much lab.”
Tomasz Buczek 3B CumptiterSciente
D. Riehl/
with this term.”
Ranjita Ghosh IB Mczlh
Science
beach
I’m happy
K-fin
D’n’B Specialist
“Going
to class.”
Rachel Reingessner, ZiVBk~h~mistty
time in the
“I never went Fed Hall.” Peter Ken. 3A Kinafiology
to Boys
Shawna
‘n’ Girls
Sham
night at
B
y the time you are picking up this paper and reading this column, my remaining time as Editor in Zhief of Imprint will bc measured in Iours. Depending on how late you pick it up, I may already be gone. So it all comes down to this. The end If a long road. One final column being written in the wee hours of the morning. I cannot count the number of times juringthe past few weeks that I have been isked, “So you’re almost done. How do you feel?” So far I have been unable to answer ;hat. My reply every time was something :o the effect of, “I’m not thinking about it yet, there’s still too much to do.” E:vcn now, I’m not sure what I feel. I’he only thing I can say for sure is that I’m :ired. Very tired. It’s not just that tempo-aq, I-just-pulled-an-all-nighter tired, it’s 1 deep-down, weary fatigue - physical and spiritual (the dark circles under my :yes have permanently established themGelves, and I havecultivated something of 1 nervous tic in my left eyelid). Am I sad to be leaving Imprint? Yes nnd no. This is the end ofa majorerain my life. I started here in 1992, and as the years went on, more and more of my life was devoted to this place. I cannot possibly calculate the full impact this newspaper has had on my life, nor could I possibly nverstate the experience I have gained here. On the other hand, there are aspects of ;his place which I am more than happy to leave behind. I hope I will neverencounter such things again in my life (although 1 know the likelihood of that is remote). What I am about to say needs to be prefaced. All this year I have done a great deal of criticising. Government, administration, the Feds, other student groups there are few who have not at some time received a volley from my guns. But at Some point, one must take a pause from pointing out the splinters in others’ eyes, long enough to remove the log from one’s own. It’s necessary, both as ajournalist and as (hopefully) an honest person. That being said, let me come straight to the point.Imprint has got problems of its own that you, the student members, should be aware of. For some years now,Imprint has suffered some of the most vicious factionalism and infighting that I have ever seen or heard of. I once heard Imprint described and there have been as a “pit of.vipers,” days where I wasn’t so inclined to disagree. I also believe that Imprint is not as accountable to you, the students, as it should be. This organization has an unfortunate tendency towards secrecy in its affairs. Ifyou have paid yourImprint fee, you are a member of the corporation, and you have a right to know what goes on here, Because of co-op,the membership ol our Board of Directors changes every term, This leads to a problem in consistency and effectivess, and a lack of strong direction in the governance of the corporation. WhatImprint needs is you. We need dedicated students willing to take an interest in the corporation in the whole, You may walk in at any time and view the books. Come out to the AGM in September and vote for the new Board. You are the reason
we exist,
and we
need you now to ensure that we stay accountable and that we remain, as we claim to be, The University of Waterloo Student Newspaper.
FedsPrez: “Thanks for a great year.”
F
or the past year I have led the Federation of Students as your president. I have done this with the committed assistance of four Vice Presidents, along with a core group of student volunteers. Together, we have worked to make UW a better place for the undergraduate body. As we turn the reins over to another group of committed students, I wanted to bring to your attention some of our work, completed on your behalf. This year the Federation represented the student body on over 30 committees. We dealt with issues ranging from rollerblading on campus, to personal health and safety, to student services, to tuition. We represented you during more than 800 hours of university meetings. But the university is only the beginning of our representation. We also carry your concerns to the municipal, provincial and federal governments. Municipally, the Federation supported and promoted initiatives such as a community barbecue and a student recognition program. Provincially, the Federation is a strong member of the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance {OUSA), which has made some incredible headway in the area of student financial assistance with the creation of the Ontario Advisory Council on Student Financial Assistance. Federally, the Federation has been an active member of the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (GASA), which has had a positive impact on the Social Union Agreement and the promoc.ion of national standards for post secondary education. A great deal of our representation goes unnoticed. As you walk from class to class, sit in the Student Life Centre, have a drink on the Bomber patio or chat with your fellow students, we are running around behind the scenes making sure that your day-to-day life
is a little easier. This year, the Federation worked to facilitate the social development and interaction that makes a student body a collective. This is, in my opinion, our toughest task, We have a very fragmented student body for two main reasons. Namely, we are a very transitory group. It is hard to foster buy-in when a large part of our student body moves every four months. Secondly, we have very strong faculties, which are very focused on their individual issues and endeavors. This also makes it difficult to facilitate a collective focus. Nonetheless, this is our responsibility-a responsibility that we have to take on much more aggressively. Some of the work we do in this area is as follows: The Federation facilitates the operation of a clubs system of between 60 to 80 clubs. We also run various awareness weeks and seven student services such as the Food Bank and the Womyn Centre. In conjunction with the university, we assist with the operation of the office of the Ombudsperson and the management of the Student Life Centre. Besides representing students and offering a social infrastructure, the Federation also has a corporate function. The Federation employs 150 students within our six businesses, This is the facet of the Federation that is usually under the most scrutiny. It is important, though, not to lose sight ofthe positives that come out ofour corporation. A numberofstudentsfindemployment, which helps subsidize their education. We provide some very relevant student services such as the Used Bookstore. The Bombshelter and Federation Hall are more than just bars, theyare’etheringspots where our community can get together to share time and ideas. I am proud to note that although our financial troubles have not yet
disappeared, they have subsided. This is what we do, what five executives, a small and committed office staff and a core group of volunteers do. The Federation is a good place, where good people who care about your education and your educational experience work for you. But the Federation can bean incredible place where these same people come together for these same reasons to work with you. Our potential is infinite and our successes can be great, but they are predicated on your participation. I encourage you to help next year’s executive engage our mission and reach theirgoalsand I thank you for theopportunityto beyourPfesident. Itwas a great year.
Last word in van der Bug
E3its bite
E
xcelknt deductive logic, Mr. McKinnon. You have come very close to discovering the secret of the YZK bug. There are two aspects of the c;onspiracy which your theory has overlooked, though: the criminal mastermind and the secondary distractive convocation. Though the actor who played the “Fourth Generation Doctor Who” (the one with the woolen scarf) may be the government’s front-man, he is not the mastermind behind the conspiracy. He is no more than a figurehead Who other than Professor Moriarty could conceive of such a dastardly plot to. . . urn . . . waste public interest? No, wait, public interest is already a waste. Hmm . . . well, your theory about making the public look foolish seems appropriate enough. In any case, in light of inquisitors such as ourselves, Mr. McKinnon, the conspirators have developed a crack team of spin doctors and evasionists to distract us from the truths of their plan. Led by Mr. van der Breggen and his number-two man, Mr. Price, these specialists are trained in all kind of unarmed and repetitive arguments . . . to these two I have one thing to say: “What? What’s this? Two of you? At once?” “Okay, then,. you want beef. Fine, all right then. I’ll kick your monkey asses my fuckin’ self.” Warning: van der Bteggen and his throng of seeming “opposition,” with theirrepctitivecontinuousargumen ts, are only tools of Moriarty sent to divert the ptblic from the conspiracy. Solution: whenever you come across a publication related toApologia (their code word), avert your eyes immediately and destroy the propaganda, so as to save the ignorant. One thing worries me about your report though, detective; your sycophantic dogma about the Gunpowdm Conspi7ucy-csqrrt group, the G&s and l
Certainly, the awesome destroying parliament’s roof, the Zoo0 will most likely become outdated by the newest version of Windows {with Annoying Fuck-ups v. 2.7). Your anarchistic hunchbacks will have to retreat to their headquarters, A4&s Hoat, while Windows wreaks havoc on my homework . . I mean, on the YZK conspiracy. Until next time, detective ... l
-zkmn
Not
W
apathetic, menstruating
just
e are writing to express our concern and disappointment in the article, “The icon of apathy: jogging pant torment” by Lana Williams. We recognize this article could have been written in jest. However, if this were her true opinion, we would like to share our perspective on this issue. Alternatively to Lana’s view of expressing individuality through the latest fashions, we believe that individuality can be expressed even through lowly jogging pants. We would like to address the issue of image and why people must be so concerned with people’s judgments of our appearance. We don’t know about you, Lana, but we go to class to learn, not to stress the message that we are sending out to people. Jogging pants are incrediblycomfortable and have seen us through many days of sickness, sadness, coziness and definitely cramps. When people wear jogging pants it’s not because they are apathetic, rather it is a conscious decision. Jogging pants are not silly, they are practical and comfortable and we applaud the students who have the courage and self-confidence to weti this beautiful article of clothing and be an individual. Thank goodness for the freedom we have in our choices of fashion.
s a UW student and avid reader f the Imprint I’m dismayed by the poor quality of the Tech-Bits column. The bite-seized captions of news from the world of science barely cover the basic precepts if journalism -the :fwe Ws. This lack of journalistic effort ignores years of research and muchdeserved credit for a place in history earned by discovery and conuibutions to the advancement of science. What further bafiles me is how two writers and the editor could be party to this miscarriage in such a small area of print on a regular basis. Case in point: one paragraph in the February $1999 edition focused on the origin of the virus that causes ‘AIDS. There was no attempt to specify who were the “scientists” to make this ground-breaking discovery, neither by name nor by affiliation. Were they working on behalf of an academic institution, national government or pharmaceutical company? The virus was traced to an “African chimpanzee,” but there was no mention of specific geographic location. Are these chimpanzees distinct to a particular country or region of the continent? These are very simple facts that not only flesh out the story but provide a solid base of information to
A0
further own.
research this news on one’s
There is little indication that this news did not come from the pages of the National Enquirer. Topics like thisand “Controversial new evidence . . . about when life started on Earth” arc not given propef respect. Not one to point out a problem without offering a recommendation, I suggest this column be substituted with one focused on cooking. Recipes and cooking tips aimed at university students of various levels of culinary proficiency may be an appropriate replacement. Many Imprint readers do not live in UW residences, eat campus food, or can afford to dine at restaurants every night. As such, most of us
are also new to cooking for ourselves. Some may see this as a mundane way to fill the Imprint pages but I would rather read about weird or nutritious concoctions for athletic or sedentary students than baseless blurbs about news that should matter.
Poor
I
whiner
n response to theImprintEditor’s Awards for 19984999, which granted me the “Poor Winner Award,” I feel I should explain my actions, I am not irying to “crush” the Federation of Students. Quite the opposite; I believe that there is a definite need for a co-ordinated student lobbying and services group on this campus. I also believe that Feds are not meeting that need. Easy example: Last week the University announced tuition increases of an appalling 9 and 19 per cent. Look around campus, and try to find the Feds at work. WPIRG organized a “Public Forum on Tuition Policy” last Wednesday and they have circulated a petition across campus. These are both great and I thank WPIRG for it, but shouldn’t the Feds be doing this sort of thing? The closest I could find to a Feds call to action was a quote in last Week’sImprint by Robin Stewart, inviting students to write letters to the Board of Governors. I want to see the Feds do their job properly, and that means being truly accountable to students. Every election, all the candidates talk about accountability and nothing really changes. If individual students can remove financial support from the Feds, all of a sudden the Feds will have to earn their money. That means providing a selection of services that ailows every single student to use and appreciate at least one Fed service. That also means that they should get real results from their lobbying efforts, such as tuition increases that stay in the single digits. If anyone is interested in helping me send a real message to the
Feds, please contact d~ueti~uwufm~oo.ca
Whining
.
,_
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the
at
winner
D
o you realize that Doug Suerich is not being a poor winner? In his actions, he is demonstrating that his referendum campaign was only a first step in his plan to encourage some financial responsibility and accountability in Fed business policy. Students have the option to withdraw financial support from their respective student societies (EngSoc, etc.), yet no such option exists for those who feel that the Federation of Students does not reflect personal values, morals or opinions. Yes, a student may withdraw from the Federation, but only symbolically - no financial refund is provided. As such, a student is powerless to prevent the use of their money to support endeavours that may be in direct opposition to moral, religious or even business beliefs. Do not allow the Fed fee to be considered a compulsory “tax” imposed by a “government” - what power do the Feds have over the lives of members of theFederation of Students? No power other than that which its members allow, as is true of any student society. Thus, students should have the option to choose whether or not they will support this society. Do not get me wrong - I do choose to support the Feds, I have voted, but I feel that it should be my option to offer my support, not a nonrefundable assumption of my support: Please do not award Doug a Poor Winner award until his battle is over; you may regret the sentiment that gets stirred up by both bides of the contest.
- EdBaruah Sysfms Lksafgn ,. “--. I
Rough
I
_
for
me
cuts
know a lot of people were pissed off at Fed Hall on blonday March 29, because they were informed by the producer that there was projector problems; so the movie was never played.1 heard comments like “How come those monkeys didn’t test out the equipment during the afternoon” and many other comments that weren’t as clean. I would l&T* I) vouch for Fed Hall hecause thib was not the case. The equipment was fine. However, the producer didn’t have the film with him; in bet, they were still editing the film that day. I’m realty disappointed to see Fed CM 10s~ all that money, and I hope that they can get some sort of compensation.
FORUM
A Day in the Life Chicken (Delivery)
of a Man
I
t’snothinglike theolddays; this ischicken for the new millennium, served hot, right to your door. It’s a tough racket where only the strong survive, for these are Hard Chicken Times, where people~L~eays want more. The expectations are great, but tonight the grill is hot and thegas tanks are full. It’s been an unusually busy night for orders. Just as Catherine sits down at the booth and makes a languid attempt to finish a green salad with French dressing, “Brrring.” St4it! On the job is the baldest chicken detivcry man this side of Suburbia: Bad Lover James (BLJ). I’m riding shotgun tonight. James emerges from the restaurant with a large red bag. He’s dressed in black track pants and a New York cap, and he wears a broad, captivating smile. He explains the commotion inside. “There’s a grease pit on the floor. They had the cover off and Jimmie walked in the back door, not looking where he was going.
Is--3waB by
The origins
silly
Wheeler
of Easter.
So here’s Jimmie steps right in and falls four feet into the floor. He’s waist-deep in lard and he’s&&. He’s wedged in there for ten minutes while peoplearescramblingaround trying to pull himoutand nobodycan. What does he do once he’s out? Can’t drive home in those clothes! Strip down.. .” The red Civic ducks its way through town like a pickpocket through a crowd. Each manoeuvre is a square in what ends up being a tapes tryof somewhat illegal dodges through the dark, deserted streets. There is a soothing flow to it all; Tarzan drifts gently from one vine to the next. Uturn. Nocops. Illegal left. Acceleratequickly and grease a stop sign. Reverse up an kxit ramp to the apartments and we’re at the first delivery. I can hear James’ banter from within the kitchen as he negotiates the cost of the delivery, “Dorval? Again? That’s going to take twefity minutes! Sure! Up Sources, then the twenty,~~~~Dorval Avenue . . .” One of the cooks says something and walks by, pushing a trolley. “Look at this guy, he’s had three beers already.” Laughter from inside the kitchen. 1020 p.m. and the Civic is in park on Dorval Avenue, with its hazards on. James returns to the car with thechicken. “Wrong address?” “No, she bitched me out. (It’s been two hours!“’ he mocks her, dispiritedly. “She says she wants it half price. I think half the reason I said ‘no’ was because I’m hungry.” James looks at the warm bag covetingly and laughs. I am about to witness a coup. This is where the chicken delivery men get separated from the chicken delivery boys. Suddenly, our man jumps into action. “I tell her I got my manager on the cell and he says okay to half price!” In a flash, James is gone and so is the chicken. The deal’s back on. Later, there’s time for James and me to sit on the couch, sipping from the large 1.18L bottles of Lucky Lager. It’s been a long day.
IMPRINT,
Thursday, April 1, 1999
bjection: In his March 26 letter, Agustin Lebron writes: “The Anthropic Principle is used to explain the apparent coincidences in the development of life. It is a very common-sense explanation: if the coincidences that led to life hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t be around to discuss the matter. Thus, looking for a supernatural explanation for the development of life is just looking for an explanation to a mystery that doesn’t exist.” Reply: Let me first say that I respect Lebron for engaging my argument (see Apologia March 12) instead of attacking me personally via name-calling, ridicule, cetern. I truly appreciate the courtesy. Okay, according to Lebron’s objection (a.k.a. the Anthropic Principle), it is not surprising that we observe the large number of “apparent coincidences” which make the universe’s initial conditions conducive to life. Why isn’t it surprising? Because, says Lebron, those conditions obviouslyconstitute the set of conditions required for our existence. Is Lebron’s argument rationally acceptable? I think not. Consider William Lane Craig’s thought experiment (set out by Craig in a debate at Queen’s University): “You’re dragged beforea firingsquad ofa hundred trained marksmen with rifles aimed at your heart; you hear the command; you hear the roar of the guns;
and you see that you’re still alive, that they all missed [i.e., you see one hundred ‘apparent coincidences’]. You say: ‘That’s not surprising, because their missing is ohviously required for me to be alive.“’ Now, Craig astutely points out: “The fact that you are making the observation is not surprising&wm that they missed. But the ‘coincidence’ of missing needs explanation!” Similarly, the fact that we are observing the large (astronomical?) number of “apparent coincidences” which led to life in the universe isn’t surprisinmen that these coincidencesoccurred. But the incredible lifegenerating “coincidences” themselves call out for explanation. Craigadds: “Certainly we should not be surprised that we donot observe features of the universe which are incompatible with ourown existence. But it does not follow that we should not be surprised that we do observe features of the universe which are compatible with our existence . . .” (Craig, “Theism &Physical Cosmology,n in Philip Quinn’s Componiun to Philosophy of Religion [ 19971, p. 423; see aIso Michael L. Peterson, Reason & RdQio~~ B&f [1998], pp. 1U41OS.)Thus, looking for a supernatural explanation for the development of life is not a case of looking for an explanation to a mystery that doesn’t exist.
W
In the meantime, if there’s anyone out there who wants to take their study of Wicca a little further, there are a few books I can recommend. Wiifodd’ohny Pmzdhex, by Scott Cunningham: this is the book that gave me my start. A great introductory text that explains the how-tos of Wiccawithout using too much of the esoteric jargon right away. If YOU never buy another Wiccan book, buy this one! 7% Wkn Mysd, by Raven Grirnassi: this is a more advanced text, going into some spiritual and magical theory. It is very well written and logically laid out.. One caution though: ignore the man’s historicai claims. They are completely unfounded. BMkhdS Gomp&t# Bookof wi*ufi, by Raymond Buckland is another great introductory text and laid out in workbook format with periodic quizes. It also has a large recommended reading section. However, Buckland’s scholarship is questionable, so take the historical and mythological claims with a grain of salt. The rest of the book is quite valid. Well, that’s it for me. See you in September. Merry meet, merry part, merry meet again. Blessed be,
0
et
ell, here it is, my last column of the term. I’m rather pleased with the reception it has received. No one has written angry letters to the editor claiming the Imprint staff are consorting with the minions of Satan. No one has accosted me on my way to class in a desperate attempt to save my soul. No one has tied me toa stake and begun looking for kindling, or&orseye~trie> to hang me from the large cross on the side of Conrad Grebel Church college. I have been invited to a panel discussion by the Campus Crusade for Christ, and had a nice long talk with my fellow columnist Henrik van der Breggen. We have more in common than we imagined and have developed a definite mutual respect. I’m very pleased that the religious community at UW has been so tolerant. It would appear that Pagans are safe to show their true colours on this campus. I have been disappointed in one area, however. I haven’t received a single letter all term. Maybe I’m just not controversial enough to provoke that kind of response. Maybe I’ve answered all your questions (probably not, though), Maybe no one actually reads this column (I really hope not, though). In any case, you guys must have some questions. Somebody write me, already.
Imrwint staff are consbrting with the minions of Satan.
SOCIAL JUSTICE, HUMAN RIGHTS, ENVIRONMENT, ANIMAL PROTECTION . . YOU DID IT ALL. CONCRATS AND GOOD LUCK! l
Nil ‘%qym” Fodm.
Brother by Hamold Haley spid tdmpfint
in a just world, Bill Clinton would be tried for war crimes, as other American presidents should be. It is no wonder the U.S., and other progressive states such as China, Israel, Libya and Iraq, are against the establishment of a permanent international court. If we look into our televisions we will see sober, tearyeyed leaders. However, if we look at the last 50 years of imperialistic intervention around the globe, quite a different story develops. When asked for her reaction to the killing of half a million Iraqi children as a result of the sanctions she administers, the U.S. secretary of state replied, “it’s a very hard choice, but we think the price is worth it,” This, of
0
nly an Orwellian constructed reality, such as one with the U.S. and its adjoiningeconomic whoreCanada - would we buy into such an ideologically flawed concept that war could actually lead to peace. That is, that we must bomb Serbia to “avert a humanitarian catastrophe,” because “the only 1anguageMilosevic understands is force.” This is the exact dialogue that the U.S./ NATO is more than willing to speak. Make no mistake, the recent attacks initiated by NATO are a direct violation of international law and NATO’s own charter. The charter permits only defensive action to be taken in response to an attack on a member state. Generally speaking, the threat and use of force is banned unless explicitly authorized by the U.N. securitycouncil and when all peaceful means have failed. Dangerously implicit within this attack on Serbia is the elimination of the U.N. charter in favour of a U.S. led military alliance. Where do NATO’s attacks fit into the broad scheme of things? The premise is that the events occurring in Kosovorequire immediate intervention. In turn, the self-appointed world “godfather” (the U.S.) has nominated itself and its ultra-militaristic alliance for the job. The irony is that today’s trigger is humanitarian. This lends credibility to the concept of a humanitarian war, humanitarian murder, and ultimately, involuntaryeuthanasia. The bombings, however phrased, are cruel in the sense that they create more violence than they will ever solve; hence the recknt photos of Albanian refugees. On a personal level, it is beyond me how bombing an ethnically fragmented society and destroying its infrastructure is supposed to cease violence. In reality, NATO is the catalyst for the recent barrage of ethnic cleansing. Ifwe lived
no “humanitarian” intervention is warranted, unless entthis “godfather’s” geopolitical interests are at stake. If we look beyond our televisions, we also see leaders condemning the “Serbs” for their non-compliance with a U.S. force-fed peace accord. In reality, this pattern is not surprising, since the U.S.-supported Kosovo Liberation Army has nothing to lose by signing the accord, nor by continuing the violence which they automatically ascribe to “the Serbs.” The Canadian press also feeds this “Serbiomania.” Of late, the Canadian press readily dismisses anti-war protests as merely the gathering of a few crazy “Serbs.” It is rather ironic to me that a country which claims to be multicultural is more than willing to dismiss opponents of the bombing as “Serbs.” In a real multicultural country these people would be considered as much Canadian as Wayne Ggetzky or The Mackenzie Brothers. Other images are inscribed on the publicconsciousness by the media, whose lack of interaction with the public encourages no free thinking whatsoever. On Saturday, Lockheed-Martin ran commercials on CNN - quite fitting for a company like Lockheed to advertise. After World War II, it was conceded by the American government that “aircraft” cannot satisfactorily succeed in the “free enterprise” economy. The solution was simple. Substitute the word “subsidy” for “security” and Lockheed-Martin, Boeing-Douglas and other corporate welfare bumscould survive. It is of no coincidence that they consider public opinion so important. Acloser look into all the dynamic sectors of the American economy, such as biotechnology, computers, the Internet and telecommunications would reveal military spending on a mass level. With the support of our business leaders, our corporate owned media and our complacent government, we goos&tep forward into the 2 1st century. It’s no wonder that two plus two equals five.
It is beyond me how bombing an ethnically fragmented society and destroying its infrastructure is supposed to cease violence. course, is doublespeak, for the U.S. doesn’t pay any price for its wild goose hunts against worldwide “Hitlers.” It is the civilians who pay dearly when infrastructure is destroyed. They starve or they die in.an escalated conflict. Just for once, I’d like to see a war where we hate the people we bomb and simply not the “Hitlerish” leader who hides in a bunker. Other inconsistencies with this “humanitarian trigger” are the U.S. supported regimes incolumbia, Turkey, Indonesia and other U.S. client states, where atrocities occur at comparable or elevated levels. The lesson here is transpar-
Enforcing the new world order is happening? Reporters
nternational officials authorized air strikeiagainst Yugoslavia to stop a possible humanitarian catastrophe in Kosovo, alleged massacres, to impose a peace plan and to prevent any further conflicts in the Balkans. Fighting between the police and the Kosovo Liberation Army{ KLA), which was hiding in villages, resulted in many Albanian and Serbian refugees. In the past year, two thousand people, of the two million who populate Kosovo, have died as a result of the clashes. This number includes KLA figh ters and civilians killed by the KLA. Fifty seven villages have been completely cleansed of Serbs by the KLA. The public is flooded with pictures of refugees crossing the borders to Macedonia and Albania.-Their number ha’s increased significantly since the North AtlanticTreaty
This is a human catastrophe. and politicians use words like “massacres,” “genocide” and “ethnic cleansing” alot when itcomes to the Kosovo crisis, without any proof. The alleged massacre that took place in the village of Racak was justification for an ultimatum to the Serbian government to accept?he peace plan or to face air strikes. However, Finnish pathologists had no conclusive evidence from their autopsies, and major French newspapers indicated that this massacrecould not have been committed by the Serbian police. There are many sensationalistic stories, with neither su bstantial proof nor foundation and sometimes not even victims. Needless to say, massacres in Klecka and Glodjane, where 40 and 20 Serbs respectively were slaughtered by the KLA, caught no media attention. Ethnic Albanians from Kosovo and Serbian government delegations were given an ultimatum to accept a proposed peace plan. If they rejected it, ethnic Albanians
Organization
would
by the UW Serbian Studenb Association (UWSSA) spec/a/ tilmprint
I
(NATO)
air
strikes
against
Yugoslavia (including Kosovo). It is hard to see how these strikes have prevented a possible humanitarian catastrophe. What constitutes a humanitariancatastrophe? People living in shelters, fearing for their lives, being killed by bombs, children with no fresh air whodo not understand what
hose
US-
support
and Serbs would
be
bombed. According to the peace plan, 28,000 NATO troops would monitor the implementation of the accord and be allowed access to any part of Yugoslavia. Kosovo would be granted large autonomy, and the Serbian government would have no say in
how to run its own province. The Serbian police would not be allowed to enter Kosovo under any circumstances. After three years, an international conference would be held as to the final status of Kosovo, including its possible independence. To the Serbian government, these terms were unacceptable. However, the peace accord was not subject to discussion or change. The bombing was further justified as the prevention of possible Balkan conflicts, only conceivable if the Albanians who make up a third.of the population of Macedonia, detided to fight for their own independenceas well. Then Bulgaria, Albania, Greece and Turkey might get involved. Yugoslavia
attacked
no other
country
but is being bombed for the remote possibility of further Balkan conflicts caused by the theoretical separatist intentions of Macedonian Albanians. The 8,500 workers of a Serbian automobile factory refuse to leave the building despite the high possibility of repeat air
strikes. They are staying there as a human shield; if they lose this factory, they lose their only means of supporting their families. Would these 8,500 lives. in addition to so many other ones, be worth the prevention of something that might not even happen? Is it really justifiable tocause thousands of deaths, destroy acountry’seconomy, bomb over 30 schools, hospitals, monasteries and other civilian targets for reasons that are still merely hypothetical
FEATURES
12
IMPRINT, Thursday,April 1, 1999
Sleepless in Waterloo byktMitubirit /mprlntstiR s the end of the term draws near and cabin fever A ets in, many young lovers separated by time and geography are fraught with anticipation (read:
ALLSIZES
horny as hell) at upcoming reunions. Due to exchanges, educational relocation, co-op, space travel or whatever, long distance relationships (LDRs) are a frequent reality for those in nomadic, transient stages of life. You will curse monogamy and
oceanic: it sucks to be you. However, variety stores do sell count&specific long distance calling cards, which are not only a sound financial deal, but also prevent your parents orroommates from threatening your life with a wrench. Speaking of wrenching, expect a substantidl twisting of the innards. Pining for a departed lover reduces humans to shriveling, fe-
by Robin Stew&, VP Eduaxtion sad to /mpni7t
provide anyone with a full account of what was presented. Drop by the office and have a coffee wi th one of us or all of us if you are interested in the scoop. We are pleased to report that this has been a year of strong growth for the Feds and a year where we have turned our financial situation around. I would like to end with a call for good luck. Good luck to next year’s team; there is no doubt in my mind that they will be able to
strength and faith inspire others. Encouraging this re-establishes what you’re waiting for and elicits a great deal of admiration and sympathy for your lonely martyrdom+ The primary benefit of long distance relationships, of course, is the comfortable slip-up of cosmetic annoyances. No more leg shaving! Far from advocatinga total lapse of basic hygiene, it’s nice to go for the bushwacking savage look now and again. With this nleasant
Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fungus. -
& BRANDS)
Parachute School of Toronto
Hallmark. You will shrivel to mush watching diamond commercials. You will be overcome alternately with paranoia and doubt as you torture yourself with absurd visions of licentious escapades. Welcome. It is generally agreed that being sates honey bites. Here are a few caveats and perks of distant-defiant romance. First and foremost, God bless the age of technology.Learntoworship your computer (offer sacrifices and libations regularly) and e-mail deities. Email happens to be the most easily justifiable method of procrastination, right up there with impromptu housework. Spending hours in computer labs, laughing hysterically or making little kitten sounds at the monitor will attract funny looks from onlookers. But you merely smile benevolently at this peanut gallery because you’re 17aluett?. Keep in mind the dangerous delay of electronic passion. When you get your foot unwittingly wedged in your mouth, prepare yourself for misinterpretation and suspicion galore. Into the virtual doghouse you go until you’ve written backand forth at least six times on the subject, which can take days. Occasionally, silence is preferable. As long as we’re at it, God bless $20 flat rates. For the cross-
verish, hungry puddles ofcraving. It is frightfully easy to forget that one is in a relationship at all when weeks go by without a good hug. There are bad days and good days, and sometimes absence makes the heart grow fungus. Expect everyone to rain on your parade. Your mother will predict hopeless rampant unfaithfulness, with stories of harems and hormones. Your friends will helpfully relate their own tales ofcrashand-burn IBRs. You will be patronized and advised and sheltered. Pay them no heed; fear is a shoddy reason to avoid happiness. Time will tell in case of either catastrophe or eternity, so why fret? Those of commitment,
~~~~r~~n~~~~~~ 1
imagine and remember. Love songs are bogged down with meaning, you reach for the uzi when you see other couples hand-inhand, and your teddy bear has smooch marks all over his fuzzy face. Take acold showerand bask in the clich&: all you need is love. Hang in there, there are but a few sleeps left.
Ltd.
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ell, the year has almost come to an end for your faithful Fed executives. We wanted to take this opportunity to say a few words before we move on to other things. Firstand foremost, thank you. Thank you to all of the volunteers who contributed so much to the Federation over the course of the year; it is you guys who are the lifeblood of the Feds. Thank you to the student councillors who keep us accountable and direct our actions. Thank you to the Fed staff, we could not have asked for a finer bunch of people to work for. Finally, a big thank you to the student body in general. You have made our job amongst the happiest times of our lives, your support and trust has meant everything. Our annual general meeting went off without a hitch last week and we thankall ofyou whoparticipated. During those two hours we had a chance to present what the Federation has accomplished over the last eleven months, what your $24.50 has paid for. While we don’t have room to print all of that here, we would be more than happy to
continue our successes and improve on our failures. Good luck to my fellow executive members, most of whom are leaving UW for new challenges (sorry everyone, you’re all stuck with me for another two years). Finally,good luck to all of you, good luck on your exams, good luck on Fur careers at UW and good luck from here on in. It has been a pleasure and a thrill for us to serve you. Thank you for that opportunity.
IMPRINT,
The
Thursday,
April
1, 1999
fabIe of the littlest coffee bean
rice upon a time, under the scorching Colombian sun, lived a humMe man in a funny hat. Juan Valdez was worshipped daily by many, but remained unassuming, his routine unchanged by fame or adoration. One unseasonably warm winter day, Juan’s life was forever altered by something so seemingly insignificant chat anyone else might have overlooked it. The beans had been quality-checked and sorted into premium blend, barely-drinkable instant and not-fit-even-for-Americans and the bean appraisers had gone for their siestas. Juan entered his bean-shed and came upon that which would change his life forever, as we’ve said. There, on the top of the discard pile, sat the smallest button of a piddly-ass coffee bean Juan had ever seen. The green of Juan’s eyes was the very colour of the little bean’s humid, fecund shell, still moist from the harvest. Juan at once fell in love with the bean, and plucked it from the reject heap, The brown man in the funny hat made a small bed for thebean from a matchbox, and kissed it gently on its bean forehead before tucking it in, humming a little tune. When morning came, however, the matchbox was empty. Juan wept and wept, his tears smelling like the earth and the sun, but there was no question-the little bean was gone.
0
FEATURES
The box had gotten a bit tight for our caffeinated friend. The bean longed for adventure, for wide open spaces. It wanted to dance on Broadway, sing in lounges, and meet handsome Latinos. Off it went, rolling along through meadows and over mountains until it; reached a town. In the w-eeks ehat followed, the bean made many new friends and grew to great acclaim. Meanwhile, back at his plantation, Juan thought often of the bean that had been. Had it yet turned to golden yellow? Had it met an untimely death at the hands of some wellintentioned coffee-grinding housewife? Over time, his sadness became easie’r to bear, and Juan and his donkey went on harvesting, subs tan tiating the existence of the Folgers’ people he secretly despised. Show business lost its allure as the bean ripened and wisened. It lay by a rushing river one night as darkness fell, thinking of the friend it had left behind. This smooth brown shell had graced stages all over the country, and yet found nothing as true or warm as the touch of Juan’s hand. The moon hung upside down, its bulging lunar belly a reminder of Juan’s broad smile. Without remorse or regrets, the bean packed its little bean bagwith a few performance mementoes, and resolved to return at once to his dear companion’s side. As the bean Iearned, you’ve gotta do what you&zn todo, butonealways returns to one’s first love.
Copy Centre six years ago, all she had was, “a table, cashbox, two self serve phorocopiers and a Sharp 2075.” To say the least, it has come a long way. While the new colour photocopier is in hot demand,Paula and Sharon(who started two years later) are the best assets. ES students share a unique relationship with the two women. They come into the Copy Centre stressed out by deadlines and lack of sleep, and in return Paula and Sharon offer them smiles and exceptional service. Being happy, says Paula, is how they cope with busy days. Sharon beIieves it may also “be the fumes” that keep their spirits up. Better yet, Sharon says the students bring them jokes which keeps them laughing. It is probably Sharon’s infamous laugh that has earned her the nickname *‘Sparkles.” Both Sharon and Paula stress how the students are the best part of their job. But they are prettyused todealingwithstudent procrastination. Paula says, “The pressure helps us work better.” Sharon says she feels
13
photo
by Lana WMiams
sorry for students at times, but tells them not to leave their work until the last minute. Neither of the women have had any terribly negative experiences with stressedout ES students. “Ninety-eight per centof the students are great,” says Sharon. Paula worked at a bar many years ago and believes that experience taught her how to deal with difficult people-with the exception *‘that *everyone here is sober.” The hardest partoftheir job? “It’s hard to say goodbye at the end of the term when you know students who aren’t coming back,” says Sharon. Sharon is married and has a 25 year old son. When she’s not busy at work she takes the time to “just breathe and garden.” Paula is married and has two children. While she enjoys helping with the Bridgeport Wish Run, her Harley Davidson is her pride and joy - for Paula, it’s just like riding in a Cadillac.
The making of a mummy by Rebecca /mpd..tsM
AnsWt
mummified body is a preserved body which still contains its fleshy parts, A ‘nstead of having them rotted away. They are and have been found all over the world, sometimes accidentally created and in other and sometimes mummified in ten tionally. The first method ofcreating a mummy -inancientEgypt-began bytheremoial of the brain. The bone that separates the nasal cavity from the brain cavity was broken open by ramming a sharp instrument up the nose. Then, a hook was used toeither pick the brain out piece by piece, or to stir it up until it was liquefied. By turning the body face down, the brain would spill out the nostrils. When the majority had beenexcavated, the skull was cleared of the remnants by rinsing it with drugs. A cut was then made along the flank with a sharp stone roexpose the entrails. The entire contents of the abdomen were removed and cleansed thoroughly with palm wine and frequently annointed with perfumes. The alcohol in the wine acted as an antiseptic, helping to kill bacteria. The stomach, intestines, liver, and lungs were removed and preserved by drying them in a special salt called narron. After drying, they would be put in a four chambered box made of wood, clay, or stone which would eventually be stored in the
tomb with the mummy. The gaping cavity was filled with the purest bruised myrhh, cassia and every sort of spicery imaginable, save for frankincense. Following that, the flank was sewn shut. The body was covered entirely and placed in natrum for 70 days. Following this, the body was washed, rubbed with oils to soften the skin and wrapped from head to foot with bandages of fine linen cloth. Its entire surface was then smeared with gum. In this state, the bodywas handed back to the relatives who were responsible for enclosing it into a wooden case, specially made in the form of the deceased, The case was fastened and placed in a sepulchralchamber, upright against the wall. This was the most costlywayofembalming the dead. Ifexpense was to be avoided, syringes were filled with cedar oil and were then injected into the abdomen. The natural exits of the body were plugged to contain the oil. After the body had spent its due time in natrum, the oil was allowed to escape. At this point, the whole stomach and intestines had been reduced to liquid, and escaped with the oil. The natrum had dissolved the flesh, thus there remained only skin and bones. The third method of embalming was practised by the poorer classes. The intestines were cleared with a clyster and the body was left to fester in natrum for a number of days. The last and most interestingvarietyof
Air Quality Festival by the Citizens’ Advisory on Air Qwllty $iptdd to Ahpint
0
Comdttee
n Saturday, April 17, the Citizens’ . Advisory Committee on Air Quality (Waterloo Region) will hold the region’s first A;ir Quality Festival at Waterloo City Centre (100 Regina Street South, Waterloo) from 1O:OO a.m. to 3:OO p.m. The mayors of the region’s municipalities will open the festival at 1O:oO a.m. with the release of the Clear Air Plan being considered by their municipalities. The Clean Air Plan was compiled by the Policy Subcommittee ofCACAQ(WR) inconsultation with many municipal workers across the Region. The day will feature speakers on the issue of air quality. Ken 0gilvie of Pollution Probe will be the main speaker at lo:30 a.m. and Ian Parrish of the Ministry of the Environment will speak at 1:OO p,m. Half-hour workshops held in the afternoon will address the issues of “Home Energy Use,” “Motor Use,” “Air Quality and Health” and “Global Issues.”
“It is important for the Region ofwaterloo to have an Air Quality Festival in early spring so we can share ideas on reducing smog before the warm months arrive,” said Lori Strothard, Waterloo Citizens Green Committee’s chairperson and a member of CACAQ. There will be exhibits in the Waterloo City Centre, as well as free car emission testing in the parking lot. Citizens from across the region are invited to come to the festival, view the exhibits, listen to speakers and have their cars tested. For festival information, please contact Jennifer Yessis of the Community Health Department at 888-2008 x5396, or Lori Strothard, Chairperson of WCGC at 745 8362. Those interested in exhibiting should speak with Chris Ford, Environmental Engineer of the City of Kitchener, 741-2215. To register, please call Jim Walsh from the City of Waterloo at 747-845 1. The Citizens’ Advisory Committee on Air Quality works with the community to improveair quality and reduce the impact of air pollution on personal health and the environment.
creation was the “natural mummy.“Mummies could be created accidentally in bogs. Even though a bog is not necessarily cold, a dead body thrown into a bog can be preserved because bacteria needs oxygen aswell as warmth, and densely-packed peat moss creates an oxygen deficient environment that prevents bacteria from causing decay.
Is Melissa in your “Inbox”?
U.S. in 1998, $161 million $39 million US in 1996.
E-mail systems at hundreds of US. companies were swamped Monday by a virus called %lelissa” that worked its way into computers disguised as an “important message” from a friend. Xn Canada, horror stories were rare in comparison. The Canadian Press, the national news agency, received the virus from its U.S. counterpart-The Associated Press - but deleted it before it could spread or damage their computer system. In the U.S., experts at Carnegie Mellon University’s Computer Emergency Response Team estimated the virus caused more than 100,000 personal computers to spew out dozens of infected e-mail messages in a vicious cascade.
Web-enabled bank machines From paying bills to getting cash on demand, anytime, anywhere in the world, these little cash dispensers are, quite liter<ally, indispensable. More so for Canadians, who, along with the Japanese, lead the world in ATM use. Recent additions to the range of services haveenabled users to buy movie theatre tickets over ATMs and other ideas are being added all the time. The next generation of ATMs currently being installed are going to expand that role even further. The new machines are Web-enabled, meaning they use the poweroftheInternet.Whattheuserwillsee on the screen is essentially a web page that will give access to myriad services and transactions. The scary part, though, is that now the banks want touse that power to”builda relationship with each transaction.*’
IBM
experienced great last year
This “method” of preservation was less than desirable; the skin was blackened and leathery and they appeared to be rather stretched as though made of rubber. For a more detailed explanation of this exciting process, please visit krtp:// mtmbet3~~~cumlmum~~~for the “Corkankhamun Explains Mummification” interactive tour!
Nintendo leaks
UK site card info on the web credit
In a surprising story,Compu~fl~?%rldan IDG Communicationspublication reports that Nintendo, creators of the popular Nintendo64 home-gaming machine, has accidentally released customer credit card information and more over the Internet. According to the report, Nintendo’s UK subsidiary exposed customer IP, e-mail and postal addresses, their names, telephone numbers and their credit card numbers including expiry dates. Don’t think you’re off the hook just because you bought your Nintendo product in the US, Customers affected include those from UK, continental Europe, the USA, and Australia. Nintendo officials have not yet commented on the matter.
Canadians skeptical about E-commerce Canadian shoppers are cautious about buying products online, but despite consumer reluctance more retailers are aiming to sell products on the Internet. The poll by Ernst and Young consultants found 97 per cent of the individuals polled felt uncomfortable about sending credit card information across the Internet, and this was the overwhelming reason they gave for not buying online. While consumers are suspicious of shopping online, the survey found double the: number of retailers selling or planning to sell via the Internet compared with results in 1997.
Violent in the
loss
IBM lost nearly $1 billion U.S. selling personal computers last year, sharply higher than each ofthe previous two years.The pretax loss revived suggestions from Wall Street on Wednesday that IBM get out of the PC business it pioneered and instead focus OII selling corporate machines, software and computer advice. IBM has not previously disclosed its PC losses, but new accounting rules stipulate that companies give more detailed financial results to investors, The late Tuesday filing showed IB%l lost $992 million
US in 1997 and
events universe
Thousands of times more energetic than ordinary exploding stars, their visible light as bright as a million galaxies, gamma-ray bursts are the most violent events in the universe. Radiation fromone ofthese events reaches the vicinity of Earth at a rate of about owaday-
Yet, not until lastJanuary were astronomers able to capture the first images in visible light of a gamma-ray burst in progress.The first results from the observations are being reported in the journal&?enct and iV&re and are being described in interviews,
BooLtS tore UNIVERSITY
OF
WATERLOO
All the time Effective March 31St1999
Varsity Olympics Slam, pull, grunt
. . . like theseguysdid.
year’s Varsity Olympics was a tremendous success. The greatest sporting event of the season was held on Monday, March 29, in the PAC, and was open to all varsity athletes. The photos shown do not even begin to describe the excitement and fun that was had by all * . . but together they supposedly say 3000 words. Can you see the magic? The Varsity Olympics is a chance for all the varsity athletes from UW to gut together and have a good time playing sports just for the fun of it, with no pressure and no other point except to release the stress of a season of tough competition right before the stress of finals sets in. A good time was had by all. Don’t they look like they had a good time?
Varsity All-Stars
rT\his
1
“:. “-.. ,.,.,+. :“. ,.:: :. .., - .‘.T.‘Si: :j ‘i....
Its been quite a year for the Warriorvarsityathletes.Imprint would like to salute all of those who came out and wellrepresented our university name. ..::
All-Star
‘r..:: .;.
.: :
-.. ..:,::.p:>:.: 1.. -
Manofinallyfi~dsasporthe’sgoodat!
Varsitv: term in review l
l
byXhsten Amin /mpr/ntsM
This term wouldn’t be complete without giving credit to the outstanding athletic performances througout the term. Based on the coverage from Imprint since January, we have compiled the following list: good
The top 15 acts of athleticism/ things that happened in varsity
15. &like Strocder’s return to rhe court f 4. W W;&GT -- enough said 13. I:igure Sk .i!~n~ team placing fourth in OUA’s 12- II>tinri Ellis, Lynn Coon, Daniella Carrington, J ii! Hcnnclr 1 1. Alpiix Sk; __ swooshing to success 10. Men’s ~iuskctball team beating ~l&tister by 29 points to go to OIJA West final 9. Heather Moyse -enough said 8. Ahno Watsa -enough said
7.
6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.
sports:
New men’s volleyball coach, Doug I-lanes Many hard wins for curling team Kristen Eisner, Xiiaxx Lapthorne, and 4driennc kicking ass on the women’s b-ball court Nordic Ski team - impressive finishes for all Scarly beating Western in controversial Lifeguarding Competition I Iockey team killing competition Luke Fraser winning OUA Individual Squash Champs
Cillis
Kudos to co-ret ball hockey! by Russ srial
I
Tupling to hprht
‘ve played in the ball hockey league for many years now, and over those years it was easy to see that the organization of the league has been top notch. The refcrecing especially has been outstanding, with rhis pastterm being no exception! You guys deserve a lot ot’crccfir for the competitive-and very fair play displayed by mosr teams and players.
we could always count on the referees to call the game appropriately, whether that meant just letting the teams play or calling a fairly tight game so as not to let things get out of hand. Congratulations. I speak for the rest of my team when 1 say we appreciate the job you guys have done. Not to single anyone out, because you’ve all done a great job but I think that Darrin Cooper should get some recognition because he has been involved for so long, has done a great job and has just refereed his last ball hockey game at IrJW.
athletes:
Man0 Watsa - first team Basketball Leslie Mitchell - Basketball Amy Adair - first team Field Hockey, Indoor Hockey Joanne Fernandes - first team Field Hockey Ailan McKenzie - Figure Skating ..c”.: Jennifer Litt - Figure Skating Lisa Guch - Figure Skating Melissa Ens - Figure Skating Wistra Van SnellenbergFigure Skating Chris Amy - first team Football Dan Sendecki - first team Football Daryl Tharby - first team Football Jason Tibbits - first team Football Mike Bradley - first team Football Paul Sguigna - first team Football Ted Siountresfirst team Football Chris Bertoia - second team Football Dave Wright - second ream Football hlatt Armstrong - *second team Football &hard I Iock - second team Football Ryan Wilkinson - second team Footl~all Scott Desmarais - second team Golf L,cslie Alexander - second tear-n Indoor I ~ockq Ian blurray - Nordic Skiing Allison Lampi - Nordic Skiing Andre Marois _ Rugb) Jeff Naylor - Rugby . Lindsay Bast - Rugby : ir% :.‘5 Ange Gardhouse - Rugby .;Ebz”s c Jen Adams - Rugby Sarah Mee - Rugby Laura Munro-Soccer first team Squash Luke Fraser-second team Squash Sheldon Zimmerman Val Walker -Swimming Grahaln
Jasr;rcbziki
Dave Marking Heather Moyse Jill Bennett -, Jeff Lingard Jason !“hJbhd Paul Frayne Brent McFarlane
-
__ Swimming
Tennis - second team l’rack and Field, Rugby second team Track and Field first team Volleyball second team Vollcyhall West Rookie of the Year - ‘I’rack t-lncl Field Crxxh of the Year
IMPRINT,
nmllay, April 1, 1999 --------.--T/----------------~
SPORTS ---ll--“---lI1-_r_lll_p
17 A
Leaders of the Week
I
Prompt, Dependable, Courteous
The Crazy PabIos: (t-r) Jeremy Witmer, Tim Weis, Jeremy Farwell, Lawrence DeMello, Chris Derbecker
T
he Crazy Pabios have won the A-league championship in both ice hockey and ball hockey this term. The ice hockey team consists of Jeremy Witmer (Captain), Greg Glaister, Tim Weis, Campbell AMcConnell, Chris Derbecker, DerekPhillips, NathanYoung, Jeff Benoit, Brandon Sartor, Lawrence De Meiio, Darcy MacKinnon, Scott Beeching, Alian Bates and Julian Kern. The ball hockey team mem-
bers include Jeremy Wi tmer (Captain),TimWeis, JeffMcLean, Lawfence De Melio, Chris Derbecker, Campbell McConnell and Shawn Campbell. ’ The Crazy Pablos ball hockey team has beat Thrown Together, which has held the A- league championship in Bali Hockey for the past five years. In ice hockey, they completed the dream playoff run after going O-3-2 in regular season. They went on to win al1 three
of their playoff games, ending with a 3-0 victory over Les Boys. Special mention to Jeremy Witmer, the teamcaptain and Chris Derbecker an outstanding player. Chris had a combined total of five goals and three assists in three of the final playoff games for both ice and ball hockey. Chris also ended up in the top ten scoring leaders for the regular ball hockey season. His hard work and dedication led the team all season. Congratulations, guys!
be-Devilled by john Swan Imprint Staff
T
hroughout 19% and 1999, the Duke [Jniversity Blue Devils were almost unscoppablc. Indeed, the only loss Mike Krzyzewski’ssqIladsuffcrcd was against the University of Cincinnati Bearcats in the Great 11lask.m Shoot-Out. Ever since that loss in early October, the boys from Durham have run up an impressive 32 game winning streak. And after a close win against hlichigunSt:~te, many thought that Conneccic-ut was going to be a pushover. Jim Calhoun, however, had other plans. ,4t 918 pm., the tipoff officially commenced what would bc a game for the ages. Duke scored first on a shot that went offthe glass and rolled around the ritn before going in. However, Connecticut had a 13-4 run following a couple of baskets which were uxchanged. For the fans atTropicana Arena in St. Petersburg, they were treated to some classic college basketball. At the half, Connecticut found themselves down by only two points, the score bcing,79-37. This
was quite fascinating, especially given Duke’s habit of deciding the game before the intermission. In the second half, Connecticur began with a 7-O run that ailowed the Huskies to take their largest lead in the game. Neverthclcss, Duke would refuse to surrender. With less than 10 minutes togo, DukeandConnecticutfound themselves deadlocked at 58 points apiece. A delightful set of baskets by the Huskies threatened Duke, but Trajan Langdon was dctcrmined ho ruin Connecticut’s day. In fact, Langdon’s last basket, a beautiful three-pointer, pulled Duke within one point with one hundred seconds left togoin regulation. IJnfortunately for Langdon, his next two possessions would be disastrous. The first possession for Langdon after the above mentioned score ended with a traveiling call. After Khalid El-Amin sunk two foul shots, Langdon stumbled on a pass and failed to even get a shot: off. This fumbled play ended Duke’s winning streak as the Connecticut Huskies conquered the Blue Devils 77-74. For the Connecticut Huskies, this was
the first visit to the Final Four. Obvious1y, JimCalhoun’s team was well rewarded. The leading scorer for Duke was Trajan Langdon, who amassed 25 points. Elton Brand also managed to snag 15 points anti 13 rebounds for the Blue Devils. ,4s for Connecticut, Richard I lamilton scored 27 points to grab MVP honours. K halid El-Amin rebounded from a terrible game against Ohio State to collect 13 points. With this game, the NCAA season is now over and March Madness has now expired. However, next year, the United States of America will crown its last chatnpion of the millennium.
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A very mouthy band Wide Mouth Mason jams the nightclub at Fed Hall recognize it. I didn’t. Needless to say, I wasn’t overly impressed. The lead singer came off as being an
reign ofapathy didn’t last too long. Wide Mouth hit the stage soon after Miller Stain were finished and proceeded to light up Fed Hall like a supernova.
Self,”
I
f I ever heclr anybody say that Wide LNJ+ Mason (WMM) is a studio bard, 1 plan to promptly punch that person in the teeth. No joke. The free show (thanks to Bell Canada for picking up the tab) nearly blew my ears out, but in that good sort of way. It was a closecall until WMM hit the stage. The Miller Stain Limit had the stage first, and boy, were they boring. To paraphrase David Spade: “I liked this band the first time I saw them. When they were called&r Lady Peace.” In fact, the only way I could distinguish between them and the Ndve.&ra Our Lady Peace (before they became corporate rock whores) is that one song sounded like Matchbox 20. Before they played the song they said we might
the crowd
music all that well; they just revelled in the fact that three great musicians were playing for their
immedi-
“Why,” which is the first single for their new album
‘Dovou
-
like tom&F”
much all they played. Nearly all of the songs they played came from Where I Stutied Although most people at the show didn’t have the CD (I only had it because I got an adVance copy), they didn’t seem to mind that they didn’t know the
photos by NJels Jensen arrogant bastard, the bassist just sort of stood there, the guitarists rocked out like it was 1985 and the bald drummer convulsed. Fortunately, Miller Stain’s
to the backofthestage. Earl Perriera is a virtuosoon the bass guitar, but one that has a great sense of dynamics and tension. Intricate bass riffs were only heard where they were necessary, and he seemed content to follow the guitar pattern if that was what it took to make a song sound right. The highlight of any Wide Mouth Mason show has to be Shaun Verrault’s vocal talent. There’s nothing quite like hearing somebody who treats their voice likeafluteratherthanabass drum: shading, pitch, dynamics, the works. I don’t know for sure whether Verrault’s got formal training, but I know I’d kill to have his pipes. The show Iasted at least a good hour, including an encore where Shaun played his guitar with his teeth. I left with ears ringing, heart “Well, 1sure don’t.” The many faces of pounding and wallet weishaunvenault. ghty from not having to shell benefit. Each member of Wide out $20.00 plus for a ticket (thanks Mouth Mason knows his instruagain to Bell Canada). Pick upWh ment inside and out; Safwan Javed’s I&U&, Go see WMM on tour. If many and varied beats made even you miss it, well, you can’t say I non-drummers turn their attention didn’t warn you.
How the North waswon
by Kleran
Green
lmprfntstti
I
f there is anything that makes Canadians smug, it is the War of 1812. We love to laugh at Americans who think that they won the conf4icr. Yet we Canadians ourselves scarcely understand this event which so strongly influenced the course of our history. Now two men, Brian and Terrence McKenna, hope to bring this conflict back into the light of modern awareness with their four-part miniseries, W&T 0f 1812. The McKennas have already gained some f;amc= in this country for their last major effort, T’e I&z/oticrandt~~ Homer. This in-depth examination of Canada’s role in the Second World War won accolades, but also created much controversy.LG ?‘.luzrrandQL?Worr-or delved into some ofthe more questionable elements of the Allied
war effort. Many veterans felt the McKennas had slandered the men and women who gave their lives during the war. Some even filed a lawsuit to make the point. With llrar of 1812, the McKennas once again turn the microscope on some of the less known or accepted aspects of a major historical event. One of rhe major themes ofWin-of1812is the participation of the aboriginal people in the conflict. Railied by the great Shawnee chief Tecumseh, the native nations came in on the side of Canada and the British. The McKcnnas demonstrate how their participation in the battles likely saved Canada from being overrun by the invading
American
exterpination.” He ordered that no white man foundfightingalongside a native was to be taken prisoner. As in T.e VuLwrandth Herror, the McKennas tell the story through the words of those who were involved. Actors in period costume portray actual people, reading from actual letters, speeches and diaryentries. And it is not just the Brocks, the Tecumsehs and the Hulls who get to speak. The voices of common soldiers, wives and daughters may be heard, with their unique perspective on events. These are tied together by the running narration of script writer Terrence Shawneewar chieff ecumseh(RaoulTrujillo)goesahunting. McKenna.
army. In return, the British promised natives a territory of their own. A promise never kept. At the end of the second episode, it is pointed out how a massive monument was erected in memory of the Canadian hero of the war, Brigadier
General Sir Isaac Brock. Canada’s natives have only a plaque on a small rock to commemorate their sacrifice and Tecumseh has no monument in Canada at all. The McKennas paint a pic-
Director
photo
COWkS~
Of m
ture of a war that often had strong racial overtones. American Genera1 William Hull, who led the first invasion wave into Canada, declared the fight to be a &‘war of
Ontario
McKenna
Brian continues
the style of visuals he used in The I/alour and ~46 Horror. The imagery blends fromdramatic recreations (in full costume) to historical portraits and illustrations, to sweeping camera shots over the
locations where the events took place (ail carefully framed to avoid any modern reference points). The recreation scenes are brief. The battle scenes in particular tend to be very tightly framed, focusing on a few faces or on the tips of a battery of muskets as they fire. They are often shot with a blurred focus, in slow motion or from an odd angle, capturing some of the confusion of war. While WarofI812 has a bit of something for every historical interest and taste, it is the military historians who will likely find the most in this series. Far more than The VahurundtlFle Horror did, War of 1812 examines the tactics and maneuvers, the battles and the conduct of the war itself. War of 1812 is a series that should be viewed by every Canadian. It affected our history almost as much as the Revolutionary War affected the U.S., but we knowand understand our war so much less than they do theirs.
actual
IMPRINT,
Thursday, April 1, 1999
ARTS
19
A term in review by the Arts Editor by Kerry
O’Brien
Kubrick, the director o f 2002: A Space OdysseyandA C&5&worh Urange. WC also lost one of the most recognized faces (and thumbs) in the movie industry, reviewer Gene Siskel of S&Y/ andEbti. Finally, thanks to everyone who read and hated (or liked) our reviews. Thanks to the unnamed scribe
/mpnhtstaff
I
know it’s called Rantertainment. I also know I don’t have anythingparticularly pertinent to rant about. But Iam theoutgoing Arts Editor, so the mic is, as they say,
0 University
Ave.,
Waterloo
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mine. So allow me to take you on a whimsical journey through what the arts have meant to me for the “Shouldwerunagratuitousmugshotofus?”’”Hmm...p&aps.” whocf1!ed me Out 4” last term or two. ArtsEditorkny~BrienandA&antArtsEditorEmil~Bru&. a stup’d statement In I honestly never my very first Ranterphoto by Paul Schreiber tainment this year. realized how many difThanks to Kieran ferent events we have campus. Pick it up wherever you Green, our dearly departing EIC, going on completely independfind it; it’s amazing. who’s taught me more than I care ent of the Big Three on campus: to remember this year. Big thanks Fed Hall, the Bombshelter and Granted, the Big Three have IJW Drama. Check out FASS, for had their share, too. UW Drama to Emily Bruner, assistant arts ediexample. A bunch of people gethas put on a whole bunch of great tor, who really deserves to have ting together, some being theatrishows (A MidszcmmwNi~tSDmam, that prefix dropped. It was 50-50 all the way. And thanks to all the cally competent, some not, all just Fool For Looa and the recent having a party and putting on a GoodnightDesdemona [GoodMomtalented staffers who put up with show in whatever time remains ing Juliet/). And despite some my pleading, ordering, singing, available. Not to belittle the miscommunication regarding a dancing and bad jokes (yes Becky, preview (sorry, Pucks one and all), and Big Shiny Tunes). amountofworkthatgoesintoFASS I thought they were all terrific. Finally, I’ll plead with everyeach year (hey, I’m a FASSie myJohn Workman, programmer one out there one more time:come self), but it’s nice to see such a w&$wImprint! We always need relaxed atmosphere around a show. for the Feds, has brought us Take the Jazz Goes To ColZamora, Maestro, Wide Mouth volunteers todo writing, photograMason, a squished rave and other phy, editing, graphic, web, et celege series at the Grad House. stuff that rocked. For all those who tera. JustcomedowntoRoom1116 Micheal McNulty and his crew think John sucks (and hate gratuiin the Student Life Centre to volhave put on a great series with unteer. It’s a great experience (and some great bands (and they always tous wrestling references) I got two let my reviewers in without a lot of words for ya . . . you Q! agreafi&urnC builder for the monOn a more worldly topic, we etarily motivated among you}. crap). said goodbye to some of our most Goodbye, good luck, and Finally, near and dear to me, above all, peace on your head. cheAtiRiot ‘zine which is new on quirky artists this term: Stanley
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wo great bands joined in the celebration of local talent Snack!‘s release of their debut album. It’s been a long time coming for Snack! fans and members alike and judging from the response of the good sized crowd at Mecca on last Saturday night, it’s been worth the wait. Black Cabbage, a personal choice ‘of Snack! singer/songwriter Adrian Jones, played an outstanding set. Showcasing their diversity and their ability to switch instruments, Black Cabbage warmed the audience up and impressed everyone in attendance with some great tunes. On any other night they might have even stolen the show, but this was Snack!‘s night, and no one was going to steal their spotlight. Snack! got things rolling
quickly with songs from the new album. If you’ve never seen a Snack! show, you are missing out on something special. They played through a variety ofstyles and speeds while Jones’ soaring voice held the audience in its grasp. Kim Regimbal (flute, sax, guitar, bongos, backing vocals, clarinet, glockenspiel, etc.) frantically kept pace with his arsenal of instruments that add a significant touch to Snack!% overall sound. The band played remarkably tightly, especially during tempo changes, considering new bassist Chris Mulligan has only been with the band a short while after the departure of Gory Williams (who appears on most album tracks). Despite a spot of the flu, Mulligan provided a solid foundation with drummer Arun Pal that allowed Jones and Regimbal to flaunt it. Unfortunately, I was unable to see the entire show but no doubt Snack! rocked long into the morning hours. A few weeks ago I wrote that Marigold were one of the only good bands in this area known for its soloacts. I retract that statement and warn Marigold to watch out for the comuetition.
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1, 1999
Emerging from 1 her cocoon most of the work is personal. As poetry is her art form, Gilbert feels that her words are as important as their position on the page; “the words have to be perfect, they have to look perfect on the page.” She states that “I wouldn’t identifywith a pretentious crowd. The poets I know, the poetry comes from a
not liking my work.” Annie Gilbert’s poems are as beautifully presented as they are written with an interestingand strikinguse of punctuation. Three personal favourites were “Too Much,” “ Lonely,” and “We Fit.” by Rebecca Anstett They were personal and touching /mprintsti and were reminiscent of events, past and present in nnie Gilbert, mylife.Theystrike UW English at a very emotional student and level, which makes editor of the annual me wonder what student journal tfi& event trigger&d her P&nix, has written to write such words and published her of honesty and own collection of depth. work entitled Sti/, Working on Not a Butte~$iy. She the Phoenix made heard about& PhoeGilbert realize how nbi when she came difficult it was to for Student Life 101 put a book together and was interested and she relied on in volunteering. help from UW She describes is as Graphics and “definitely a great friends for layout experience; I learand design. She ned a lot.” produced I50 cop“I’mnotgonnahavetocleanupafkertheshoot,amI?%nnieCifbert Over the years, - a* _ _ a ies of her book, Gilbert has written a SUlmUIldedbykbOOkS. funded by herself, photo by Kieran Green greatdealofpoetry; and is selling them the work from the for $6 by word of book spans 10 years. Referring to need to recount events and expemouth and by distributing them at her work, she says “this book is riences.” Gilbert is understanding poetry readi ‘rigs. She can be about different aspects of me that about personal opinions, adding ieachcd at clgilbtr@uTtsma people don’t always see,” and that that “I can’t dislike someone for il. uwattx4fmca
A
An epic extravaganza
I
still remember those dark winter nights of my childhood, when a priest would come to our home and recite the verses from the Ramayana. Tucked under a warm blanket, I would thrill to his melodious voice as it trailed through the strange shadows cast on walls by the slowly swinging kerosene lamps. Ruma and Sira were my ideals. I revered Rama and I wanted to grow up to be S&a. But tears would come to my eyes whenI thoughtofSita’sfireordea1 and her later exile, when unjust doubts were cast on her purity. How could Rama, my ideal hero, do this to her? I felt confused and evenangry, but mostofall hurt and fearful. I too was a woman. Would my own future husband treat me so unjustly? The priest was very learned and sympathetic. He understood the fears and misgivings of a 10 year-old girl, swinging between devotion and doubt.” This begins a dance drama called Ss’rayana (Sita’s Story) by Menaka
Thakkar
Dance
Com-
pany. It is a sensitive and respectful reteilingof theRomayam from Sita’s point of view, which in fact universalizes into a woman’s point of view. The dance drama moves in and out of a frame within a frame; back and forth between ancient
and modern times; and ail this is held together by dance, music, pomy, dialogues and voice-over narration in English. “A scintillating mosaic ofvarious artistic traditions. . . Thakkar fused dancing, poetry, music, and acting . . , a powerful spectacle whose integrated parts were clearly defined and also harmoniously related,” wrote The Globe and Muil of Sitayana in 1994. In 1993, York University honoured Thakkar as a “rare jewel in the richlyencrusted crown of Toronto’s dance academy” dnd bestowed on her an honorary doctorate. Dr. Thakkar is a renowned dancer, teacher, and a choreographer. She is a winner of numerous awards, and is an Adjunct Professor of dance at York University. ‘India’s Waterloo Linkage joins the local East Indian Ladies Club in celebrating the club’s 25th anniversary by bringing this unique cultural event to Waterloo+ There will only be
one showing at the Humanities Theatre at the University of Waterloo on Saturday, May 1, at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are priced at $25 and can be ordered from the Box Office by calling 888-4908. Net proceedswill benefit the Hope Spring Support Ckntrc of Waterloo.
by Danyl
Kelman
f!7pd..tsti The Mayfield Four are fourpiece out ofspokane, Washington who are hoping that their debut release “Fallout” wiil bring them success and make them rock stars. The guys cite Led Zeppelin, the
Rolling’ Stones, and Motown as their influences but they are hard to find on this Z-track release of mostly pop-rock offerings. There is a darker sound to their brand of pop than to most pop acts but the themes of broken hearts and relationships, self-loathing, and ultimate redemption are all there. With the help ofproducer Jerry
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by Nlchalas
special
Harrison (formerly of the Talking Heads) and mixer Brendan O’Brien (Pearl Jam, Rage Against the Machine), the Mayfield Four have put together a record that although it isn’t bad, doesn’t quite have the muscle to make them rock stars. The lead off track “Shuddershell” is an okay rock tune and it really sets the stage for the rest- of the album not overly catchy or terribly bad songs. “Suckerpunch” and “Overflow” bring to mind Finger 11, while “Realign” brings to mind something off Bush’s set list. The slower tunes like “Forfeit” and “Always” (which has a nice touch of slide guitar) are typically the stronger tracks on the album and the cover of Marvin Gaye’s “Inner City Blues” showcases singer Myles Kennedy’s vocal range better than any other songon the album. Until the Gaye song, Kennedy’s vocal stylings were a combination of Geoff l’ate and Chris Cornell minus the high end screams and needless to say, it became monotonous after a while. If Kennedy could put more behind his vocals and the guitarists started using more than two fingers than this band could have a bright future. Until then, they will be destined to be theopeningacteveryone thought was kinda cool but couldn’t remember their name to save their life.
The band’s name: a pissed-off flower. As far as images go: kind of fitting. Goes in between the flaming spittle image of angry grrrl bands and the estrogen-soaked lace of sensitive Lilith artists, if you had to place its somewhere on the “female spectrum.” But don’t worry, the band’s not really a “female” band - no more so than the Cranberries or the Breeders or the Cardigans would be. It’s just a female-led guitar pop-rock band, concerning itself with themes of living and loving and leaving; loss, double-cross and all that dross. Nothing new, but it’s still done well. At first, the overall feeling you get from this album is good mellow, laid-back, nap-on-your-couch tuneage. Trust me, the nap was great. It’s easy on the ear, and stands up to multiple listens. The sweet/sultry vocals of Mary Lorson soar over the smoothed-out edginess of the instruments. Guitarist Billy Cote obviously knows what he’s doing. All band members play instruments, which become more than just a background to support the vocals. The band’s got different flavours throughout, like a bucket of Neapolitan melting in the trunk of
Blur is back .Woo hoo!
your hot car. It’s got all those textures and weaving sounds, the ishes and -esques, the suffusing feels and other artsy pretensions I won’t bother to describe. Specific songs? Y5cenes from ‘starbright”’ and “My star” are among the more memorable tracks, being more upbeat and catchier than their siblings. “Narco” is good too. The track “Peter&Victor” it’s just kind ofweird. “They take me to the station and they put me in this room/ Do you admit you’re an asshole 1 Will you sign a statement swearing you’re an asshcfe?” A wacky little aside, and sorv, I just had to quote that. To criticize now. The band doesn’t sound very distinctive; like our Neopolitan slurry. Larson’s vocals, while pleasing, have all the personality of a fashion runway 49
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As 13 starts up on the CD player, one might swear chat they had put on the wrong CD. The opening track and first single, “Tender” is a melodramatic affair backed up by the heavy beat of drums and a ftill gospel choir. It’s the perfect beginning to an album which is quite different from any chat Blur has released in the past. Blur, ifyou don’t already know, had a huge hit in 1997 with “Song 2” off their self-titled albumB&. You know, the one with the uwoo hoo!” chorus that just wouldn’t go away? At that time, Blur had been embracing an Americanised sound with heavy guitars and were moving away from the Britpop sound which had made them famous in the UK. On 23, Blur’s sixth studio al. _ -
sion and loneliness are most noticeable on songs such as “Swamp Song” and “Mellow Song.” On the album closer, “No Distance Left To Run,” Damon admits “It’s over / There’s no need to tell me / Hope you’re with someone who makes you safe in your sleep . . . When you see me, please turn your back and walk away/l don’t want to see you. ” This is certainly a change from rhe happy days ofParklife. Unfortunately for this album, many songs tend to drone 6n (no less than three songs clock in at almost eight minutes), similar to “Sing” from their first album Leisure, Not to say that’s bad, in fact they’regreat songs, but the pacing tends to grate after couple of listens. Even the “Song 2”-ish rockers “Bugman” and UB,L,U.R&.M.I? seem to get lost in the muddIed tracklist. With many bands putting out the same CDs over and over again, it’s refreshing to hear Blur updating their sound and moving into new territory, even if it does mean sacrificing theirtried-and -true pop formula.
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bum in 10 years, Blur continues to experiment. Distorted guitars sod fuzzed out voices prevail on many songs, as well as repetitive song structures that get stuck in your head. Most of these songs would seem quite out of place on their previous albums TXte Gmat Escape a nd Par&$. The new sonic direction is attributable to producer William Orbit (of Madonna’s Ray of Light fame) who replaces Stephen Street (producer ofThe Smiths). Though Street had produced every Blur album to dare, the band thought it was time to work with a producer with an alternative viewpoint. Orbit’s presence is evident in the heavy layering of abstract sounds and ever present distortion. The album really belongs to lead singer and lyricist Damon Afbarnas it chronicles his break-up with long time girlfriend, Elastica’s Justine Frischmann. The album has a melancholic feel unlike previous Blur albums with the 3minute pop songs noticeablymissing. Damon’s feelings of depres-
model. She to&adopt a speech impediment, or yip and grunt at inappropriate places. Instead, though, the band should distinguish itself by sticking with a style and strengthening it. They also sounded like they were restraining themselves, like they could’ve had a lot more fun. There’s a teasing trip-hop hint in some songs, mischievously peeking through like the horny glint in an old woman’s eye. But you can’t keep that under the surface, man! Let itout, giveit full reign and follow nature! Err.. . okay, bad metaphor, forget the old woman. But the point is, they’ve got such potential. As much as I liked the album, it felt like they could’ve done so much more. Just not applying themselves fully: a B+ on aptitude, but a C on effort.
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ARTS
22
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to fmpiiht
Is Gene as good as it gets? Well, they’re as good as they’ve ever been. Gene ha& been together since 1994 remaining rela&,PlW I I II L**w* #mc+ of the UK. where they ,’ have a loyaifanbase. Previous efforts O/ympiaa andD~~~t&&~@End (plus their B-sides album To See The Li&&) were overlooked on these shores but produced 10 consecutive top 40 singles in the UK. While admittedly not likely to hit number one on the charts, Gene do have their charm. They . may not be crafting the their straight ahead pop/ rock is better than most. Thoughmainlyinfluenced byThe Smiths and Morrissey, with a bit of R.E.M. and The Jam thrown in for good measure, Gene have a style all their own. 0 n RRWMO~S, Gene forsake the strings of their meticulously orchestrated previous album D~zzwtztcltieD~~ End, but keep the pianos. As the self-proclaimed best live band in the UK, this album
tries to contain Gene’s energetic live show, a feat which their previous two albums have failed to do. Recording and mixing only took six weeks, as opposed to the eight months spent on their last album, and this spontaneity shows. The production of Drawa to th Deep End was spotless, but it felt too
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glossed over. Rmhtions manages to fill that gap with both excellent production and the energy that was missing. lbxdutiom also finds Gene writing some of their strongest songs such as the ballad “Angel” and the optimistic, slow building “You’ll Never Walk Again.” The album’s tone is also noticeably brighter than their last, due tolead singer and songwriter Martin
Rossiter’s break from the depression rhat plagued him during the writing of the last album. Disappointingly though, some songs mar an otherwise excellent album. “Little Child,” a song about his wife’s pregnancy, is a surprisingly mediocre song with a forgettable melody and rather plain lyrics. Gene’s political views on this album will probably wash over unnoticed on these shores. The first single, “As Good As It Gets” is an attack against Tony Blair’s New Labour while “The British Disease” and “Mayday” serve up more rallying cries against the government. All three are excellent examples of Gene’s newfound ability to capture their live sound with success. With all this heavy hitting ma. . . . tenal, It may see1 n that Gene are all about profound messages. But Gene do have their sense of humour. “Something in the Water” is the lament of a man who thinks the city council has put something in the water supply to make his girlfriend leave him. Surely Gene is not for all tastes, bur fans of UK pop/rock will find likely merit in this release, Followers of Gene will find this a worthwhile investment but for those whoare just interested I suggest trying before buying.
by Duryl Kelman /mpn’ntstaiT Local boys Snack! have finally released their long anticipated debut. The foursome, who grew out of a twosome playing around town and the local area, have produced’ an absolutely exquisite debut release. For an independent record, the sound quality is outstanding, but that is more of a testament to Snack!‘s live abilities than to overproduction. The grovp, made up of singer/ songwriter/guitarist Adrian Jones {a classically trained vocalist), Kim Regimbal (flute, sax, guitars, veils, bongos, clarinet, glockenspiel, anythingelseyoucanname),ArunPal (drums and vocals) and Chris Mulligan (bass) have put together an album of varying styles. There are ballads, funky groove sensations, and rock tunes that’11 get your head banging. A general theme that permeates the record is anti-racism, something that Jones feels especially
SUBSC~~ION
: Mondays at 5 p.m., SLC 11 T is weekly until April 1,199
C...,
rba-
For more info about HopeSpring Cancer Centre contact Betty at 43 Allen Street W., Waterloo. 742-4673. Ebytown Food Co-operative: organic, locally grown, minimally packaged food for people, not for profit. Affordable prices! 280 Phiilip Street, Building A4, Waterloo Co-operative Residence. Call 886-8806 for weekly store hours. Guided $eli Change of alcohol use: for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counselling Services (ext. 2655) to find out
tTWB.
Designing Learning Activities with Interactive Multimedia iS301A (W99) A new independent Studies project course sponsored by the office of Teaching Resources and Continuing Education (TRACE). Students in the course will develop an ur&nHanding of the folioMng areas of knowlt?t+; the fmcesses at work in mediated learning activities; the potential and limitations of interactive mulimedia instruction; the steps of the development process for instructional multimedia, including recommended milestones, reviews, and risks; the components of an effective design for learner-centred software. For more information, please contact Instructor Kevin Harrigan, PhD - x6832, kevinh 0 uwaterloo.ca
The Turnkey Desk is looking for donations of mugs. Please drop off mugs at the Turnkey Desk in the Student Life Centre. Plearre join the Waterloo-Wellington branch of the Canadian Authors Association. Visitors and new members are always welcome. Monthly meetings held in th8 Learning Centre, Kitchener City Hall, 2nd floor, Upcoming events: April 5 at 730 p.m. - George Roth, the owner of Polygon Press. May 3 at 7:30 p.m. - A Public Editing Circle. Writers’ Workshop - “Pen in Hand presented by the Waterloo-Wellington Branch of the Canadian Authors Association and the City of Kitchener. Registration forms can be picked up at the public libraries and Kitchener City Hall. On Saturday, April 24 from 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. at tt18 Kitchener City Mti. Cali Af!ene at 579-0848 for details. TOEFL Preparation Course - the test of English as a Foreign Language (TOEFL) course begins April 6 and ends June 9, 1999. Classes are held every Tuesday and Wednesday from 2:00-4:30 p.m. This IO week course is designed for people taking the TOEFL exam. The course fee is $65 and in-
This January the Farmets Market will be in operation again. Students may. purchase their $2.00 tickets at the Turnkey Desk in the Student Life Centre. This return fare offers students a trip to the Farmer’s Market in St.Jacobs to shop. Crafts, fresh produce, meats, cheeses and flea market buys are ali part of this famous local market. So jump on board and enjoy one of the many services offered to you at the University of Waterloo! The WATgreen Advisory Committee requires information from Service Departments, Staff, Students and Faculty regarding campus environmental activities for presenting the state of the environment report for UW. For further information or to forward reports, please contact Patti Cook, Waste Managemamt, DC. Thanks to th8 great support given by the staff and students at UW. KW Blood Donor Clinic will be back March 2%April 1 in tie Student Life Centfe. The 10DE Glady8 Baiter 8ursary for cludes the course book. Re#eWr at the Graduate Study k offered for one year international Student office, NH2080 of p&-graduate study to residents of or cal ext. 2814 for details. the Municipality of Waterloo or stuThe UW Chapter of the Sigma Chi dents studying at the University of Ffat8mit-y congratulates Brother Danbt8&Kb Of Wiifrid hNi8f University. iel Weber, the 1999 Provincial Baifour Approximate value $2,500. Application Award winner. The award recognizes deadline: April 15, 1999. For informatop academic, campus and community tion telephone 905-522-9537 / fax 905 achievement among brothers from 7 522-3637 or contact the Graduate ofOntario/Quebec chapters. fices at the above Universities.
Thursday, April 1, 1999
IMPRINT,
rock track with a solid sax line that accompanies Jones’ incredible voice perfectly. “B.Y.D.” is one of the finest ballads ever recorded that showcases Jones’ voice once again. “Change” is a funky rifflaiden romp that is so infectious you’ll explode.
Another great rock tune is “Fool” that features some impressive guitar and bass work and “Touch of Freedom” proves that the flute does have a place in rock and roll. One of the most solid indy debuts in recent memory. This area is praying that it is a hot-bed of musical talent, make sure you don’t miss out on it all.
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Canada $26.49 U.S.A. $53.23 Overseas$82.85
THURSDAY, APRIL 1,1999 More great music at Grebel - 12:30 p.m., Chapel, Conrad Grebel College, UW “Chamber Ensembles’ WEDNESDAY,APRlL7,1999 Gays and Lesbians of Waterloo (GLOW) Coming Out Discussion Group. Topic: “Gaydar”. 7:30 p.m. Social follows at 9 p.m., HH378. Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Details: 884-4569. April events are: April 14-“Friends or Lovers’. April 21 “Politics and Sexuality”. April 28 - “Religion and Spirituality’. THURSDAY, APRIL 8,1999 &Iw Chamber Music SoCi8ty presents “Jane Coop, piano” at 8 p.m. at the KWCMS Music Room, 57 Young St., W., Waterloo. For details and wmrvations call 686-1673. FRIDAY,APRIL 9,1@99 Used Book Sale - Canadian Federation of University Women KW is having their used book sale at the First United Church, King and Wiliam Streets, Waterloo. Today from noon till 9 p.m. and Saturcky, April 10 from 8 am- to t p-mDonations accepted until April 8199. SATURDAY, APRiL lo,1999 River Run Centre, 35 Woolwich Street, Guelph presents Canadian soprano ‘Isabel Bayrakdarian’. For info and tickets call 519-763-3000. WEDNESDAY, APRtL 14,1999 Massage Therapy Workshop in
support of Canadian Crossroads International will be held at the Baha’i Centre, 91 King Street, N., Waterloo (across from McPhail’s, above Super Optical) from 7-9:30 p.m. For info and tickets call 883-8362. Don’t forget your pillow! SATURDAY, APRIL 17, IsgS St. Jacobs Schoolhouse Theatre presents ‘Songs Without Words’ by Willem Moolenbeek and Boyd McDonald. The performance begins at 8 p.m. at 11 Albert Street, St. Jacobs. Call 519-664-l. 134 fof details. SATURDAY, MAY I,1999 Scuba-thon 1999 begins today at 4 p.m. and Sunday, May 2 at 4 p.m. in the Wilfrid Laurier University Pool. For info call 742-0637.
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Rooms for rant - close to both Universities, parking, laundry facilities. Call 725-5348. Summer sublet-townhouseKing and Ezra, 2 rooms available, laundry, parking, bus route, clean. $2OO/mth inclusive. 725-3815. 4 bedrooms for rent in a newer four bedroom house. Quiet neighbourhood, furnished living room, laundry facilities, parking,close to all anemities. Available May 1-August 31. Cal 725-5485. We’re desperate so its dirt cheapl Summer sublet - 2 furnished bedrooms, 2 minute walk, parking, utilities included, laundry. $275/month. Available May I. Call Shannon 883-8405. Apartment for rent - May-August 1999. Two large bedrooms, $51 O/ month, I5 minute walk, Erb & University, parking, laundry facilities, bike room. Candace 747-4154. Basement apartment sublet! Huge room and your own 3 piece bathroom, free laundry, parking, amazing new house. $230 + negotiable. Call Jenny 5857899.
LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE www.prep.com Toronto live spring/ summer classes now. Request our FREE Law School Bound.or Pre-Med 6ulletin email newslet&rs at: learnQprep.com. Richardson-l -877PREPam Study In Prague: Central European Studies Program. Credit from Prague University of Economics. Fall, Winter, Spring semesters. $3600 + meals + airfare. Contact: Prof. Eidlin, Political Science, University of Guelph, feidlinOcss.uoguelph.ca, www.interuniversitv.com. TeacbEngiieh in Moecow: part-time in conjunction with Russian language study program, or. fult-time. Contact: Prof. Eidlin, Department of Political Science, University of Guelph, feidlindcss.uoguelph.ca, www.interuniversitv.com Study in Mowzow: Russian language + courses in English, for Moscow State universitycr0dii.$265o+meals+ailfafe. Fall, Winter, Spring semesters. Contact: Prof. Eidiin, Political Science, University of Gueiph, feidiinOcsa.uoguelph.ca, www.interuniversity.com
Resume Relay Services takes the stress out of finding work! We will use our extensive database to fax your resume to hundreds of companies within hours/overnight anywhere in l-(800)-545-5069 or Canada, www.resumerelay.com Nwd custom clothes for your REZ Floor, Club, Faculty? Tearaway pants, 9 different colours, hospital scrubs, tshirts, ha&.,-free catalogue. Call l888-400-5455. P ro ate outstanding looking essays, reports, etc. Prices available on quotation. Telephone: (519) 650-0469, fax: Email: 650-5270, (519) tinuscanOattcanada.net. Contact Lisa Southam. book your own bus trip aa LYHE on any Saturday Night for the Winter Semester. THE LYFiiC will give your Group FREE Admission, FREE Food, FREE Concert Tickets, FREE Prizes, SUBSlDlZED Transportation, AND the BlGGESTPARTYHYPEintheWorldon our STUDENT PUB NIGHT on Saturdays. Call our INFO-LINE now at (519) 749-2121. Come down town to the Lyric’s University Pub Saturdays. Complimentary shuffle bus picks up at Kinko’s at 1030, I l:OO, II:30 and 12:OO. For more info call 749-2121. Custom Essays (thi subjects) in&ding Humanities, English, Business, Accounting, History, Psychlogy, Sociology, Economics, Philosophy, Pditical Science, Administration and more. Editing, composition, writing research. Highly qutied graduates (post graduates) will help! CaB: (416) 280-6113, Fax: (416) 960-0240, Email custom Q interlog.com Tutor/Editor - IndivMual essay assessment offered by straight A grad student. I will assist you in polishing your essay, term paper or report. Fee $3D/hour. 749-9983. Jiffy moving and mamtenance. Small moves with small truck and trailer. $20/ hour plus fuel. ‘John’ rubbish removal also. call 240-6104. Empty cube and cargo vans avarIable for people moving to Western Canada. Also cars available to other destinations. Not a job. Please call 416-2224700 or 1-8QO46&1879.
Student Work - $12.85 to start! Over 500 positions to fill in Eastern Canada. Scholarship awards and great experience available. Call closest office for an intenriew: KW-886-0909 ; Mississauga812-9272 ; Durham Region-723-4920 ; St. Catherines-937-8668 ; Markam(905)947-985 1 ; London-438-271 1 ; Hamilton-387-2872 ; Ottawa-739-2999 ; Toronto-(416)487-3730 ; York Region-(41 6)497&X4. Opening April 19 - Sudbury-673-3975 ; Etobicoke(4t 6)237-l 733 ; Toronto Chinese-41 O8361. Call I-888-328-5304 for updated numbers for the following: Halifax, Montreal, BurlingtorVOakville, Smia and Windsor. Travel - teach English: 5 day/40 hour, May 12-I 6 or Aug. 4-8 or 0ut. 20-24, Toronto. TESOL teacher cert. course (or by correspondence). Thousands of jobs available now! FREE info pack, toll free I-888-270-2941. # you are graduating this year and looking for new experiences then teaching English in Taiwan is for you. For more information contact Shane at shanecoleman 0 hotmail.com Summer job: small growing service business needs general labourer. Customer service skills required. Some heavy lifting. Total Blind Care 893-n34.
GOOD LCJCIC ON YOUR EWS! HAVEA GREAT SUMMER! Deadline for our-first Spring/Summer paper “Campus Bulletin” is May 3 at 5 p.m.
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Call today for our FREE Brochure or visit us for an informative consultaion. Canadian Therapeutic College University & College Whitewater Weekend - join students from across Ontario at Wilderness Tours on the ottawa River. A fun filled weekend - June 1 l-l 3, 1999. Rafting, camping, meals, live entertainmerIt - special rate $150. plus GST. Phone l-600-267-9166 or wt@ wildernesstours.com
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