1999-00_v22,n15_Imprint by Editor Imprint

cero w/ Rayanne Monday, October 25

kckedinat the cornerof ~ r o n t and Church Streets, downtown Toronto's C'est What I the last of local musician I'S three shows on Monday. It windy fall day, but inside, the nce was warm and welcoming. harming folkie Rayanne once warmed the stage for Cicero. r single red rose affixed to her md, she led off a capella with r Can I Say?" and went on to m nine more pieces of original ,alin addition to a unique renof Oasis' "Don't Go Away." lways touching and personal, .ne's lyrics draw from already 'e experiences. Her setlistcon~fboth old favourites"Waiting I" and "Ink* (old being a rela:rm here) and the debut of re," a song showcasing the .of her voice. miling and confident by the

end of her set, her fanswere noticably appreciative of her last song, one of her strongest of the evening. 'Confident and comfortable and dressed casually in a black t-shirt and jeans, Dylan White took to the stage and introduced his backup vocalist. "This," noted White, better known to his fans as Cicero, "is Bev MacDonald ...we've been sharing the same cold for three weeks." Relaxingon a bar stool, the folk rocker dove right into his set with "Scout's Honour," featuring strong harmony carefully interwoven with acousticguitar. He wasclearlyenjoying the last of his October residency shows at C'est What, one of Toronto's best-known musical venues. MacDonald, to his right, looked equallycomfortable in blue jeans and a black sweater. Treating the crowd to a collection of mostly new material, the Dead Daisy singer-songwriter served up his distinctive vocal sound with his second song, the intimate "Another Hundred Years." Brown acoustic guitar still in continued to page 26

~ O B I N STEWART volved is a big inaease over 99 from

par1iment9s vestibule

cheatingisgowing amongfirstyear , the year before and a sipitlcant de- students and is getting "stupider," viation from the lengthy trend of meaning that students are cheating in much more obviousways. As far as l h e number of studentscaught consistentnumbers. Jay Thompson, Chair of UCSA, an explanationgoes, Thompson sugcheating or plagiarizing exgested a number of possible ploded last year, acexplanations. to a report to Senate First-year mdentsare he University Commit"coming from a greater In Student Appeals pupworkemp~~~bi~ 4). There were 79 stuschool," according to involved in cheating Thompson, which is one which indudes inapprolikely cause for a rise in the collaboration and illenumber of excessivec o b amination aids. 23 sturation cases. Larger classes were charged with plaand a more impersonal feel- -0 m and 15 students were ing is another possible reared in various other disson Thompson suggested, ary offences. reminding that people tend h e offencesresulted in a to cheat against the system ~f 24 reassessed grades and not against people. vmsuspensions.Nostuwere &lled from uwin the believes that "we're seeing a real continued to page 3 trend." Particularly, he noted that #r. The 141 total students inI

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caRemoondOaober27, ~ c t i o dust n inthe Mathand tuter Buildingset offsmoke s. Studentsandfacultyfiled Fthebuilding,beingushered Hfirewardens. Soonthefirengpnnnelarrivcdanddeak hesitmion.

First-year students are "coming from a greater group-work emphasis in high school."

students a $4 discount

Women's field hockey stays sixth in CIAU

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Stabbin incident still on min 8s of students MARK /mpfhr

needed to enter a plea or argue for bail. n The attack has had an immense impact on students across the campus. Many were left dumbfounded by the seemingly unprovocked act of violence and many have called into question the safety of the cam-

S~HAAN srahf

irst-year science student Lawrence Michael Pogany, who was arrested for allegedly stabbing a fellow UW student on the path near Bearinger Road and Columbia Street, appeared before Justice of the Peace De-Jong on p Friday, October 22. The reason for the 9 a.m. appearance was unclear and the court adjourned until November 10, when a schedule for the trial will be set. It was not recorded whether or not bail was granted. Crown Attorney Steve Paciocco is arguing the attempted murder charge on behalf of the Province of Ontario. Pogany currently has no legal representation. An official for the court speculated that “maybe the duty councillor has helped him out” but that no official counsel has been retained. The court official commented that this practice is “quite common” as there are “so many court appearantes before the actual trial ‘date.” She added that a lawyer is “not really

aware they shouldn’t be walking home alone. . . they should try and take the Safety Van or Walksafe whenever they can.” Risley, however, was pleased with the quick response to the incident by the CampusSecurity. “phey] were amazing. , .It wasvery quick and thorough” he commented. Risley also stressed the

campus has made students more aware that they shouldn’t be walking home alone.” pus. “It looks like an isolated incident, however other incidents against women have made me feel unsafe” says fourth year arts student Sandra Elgersma. Jason Risley, a member of the Personal Safety Committee, agrees the incident has heightened safety awareness. “The general buzz on campus has made students more

own safety. The Personal Safety Committee is still seeking preliminary proposals for personal safety ideas to be implemented on campus.

the committee has

$50,000 to utilize and students can submit proposals until November 12. More information can be obtained through Kevin Stewart of the Safety Office, at extension 58 14. Risley’s stress on safety is nothing new, but in the wake of recent events on campus it could be more important than ever. While the fate of Lawrence Pogany now lies with the courts, the fate of safety on campus is still very much under each student’s personal control.

Cheaters continued

from

page

Finally, Thompson suggested that confusionabout what is appropriate and what is not was a major consid-, eration. Veronica Chau, Vice President, Education for the Federation of Students agrees wholeheartedly with Thompson that education is a key challenge. According to Chau, University policies 70 and 73, which govern student conduct, can be a bit confusing and are often not presented consistently across campus. Both policies are currently under review by UCSA. Chau also commented that she heard a lot of talk about educatingstudentsabout cheating and called the university to start “translating some of that talk into direct action.” The university has asked all instructors to be more clear in their course syllabi this year and ensured that all faculty orientation programs included some direction for students on cheating. There were also a few lines dedicated to academic offenses inserted into the Sitzgre &Sexy script this year. The Feds, for their part, inserted some information on academic offenses in their student handbook and CD-ROM and Chau is considering running a “Cheating Aware-

ness Week” in the winter term. Both the University and the FEDS are intent on pursuing a “proactive rather than reactive” role in addressing academic conduct, preferring to focus on education rather than punishmerit, Both Chau and Thompson agreed that the rising cost of university education may be playing a role in this increase as well. As students pay a larger proportion of their education, many feel that they are treated more like consumers. “As customers, we don’t expect to be reprimanded,” observed Chau, pointing to the coop department as a clear example of a place where students get upset when regulations prevent them from getting their way. In the final analysis, Thompson believes that the academic offense rate at UW is relatively low. Upon seeing the Waterloo data, one official from MacMaster noted that CLwe catch twice as many at Mac.” Many American Universities maintain fulltime legal staff to deal with cases on their campuses. Thompson and many other university officials do invest a large number of time in dealing with academic appeals. He still wishes that more students would “understand the consequences and the devaluation of the degrees.” Cheaters, at the end of the day, according to Thompson, are after all, “only cheating themselves. n

CASA lobbies national leadersfor change Definition of “default” may be benefitting banks unjustly SARAH

CRELLIN

The external goal, he added, was to promote the CASA education campaign. The campaign includes four pillars: obtaining a GST credit on text books, lowering interest rates on student loans, eliminating interprovincial differential tuition fees and obtaining a re-investment in post secondary edu-

/mpwht stat

tudent leaders were out lobbying Parliament Hill from October 19 to 22, as part of the Canadian Alliance of Student Association’s (CASA) National Education Campaign entitled Education Builds a Nation. CASA director Jason Aebig said that student leaders met with about 100 MI%, as well as Ministers Paul Martin and Herb Gray, representativesof the Royal Bankand CIBC, the Canada Student Loan Program and finance critics. Aehig told Imprint that the goals of the conference were both internal and external. In reference to the internal goal, he said that “this was the first time student leaders had the opportunity to meet with decision makers face to face.” He said that the conference was a good opportunity to demonstrate the member driven nature of CASA.

delegates sat down with MPs one on one, in a group setting and at a big reception. Chau said that the reception was an opportunity to talk with

sage was very clear; to each of them (the MI%) we emphasized the four pillars of the

VP Education. Chau said that CASA delegates met in various ways with MPs and other officials to get their message across. She said that

people who might normally not be reached, such as advisors whom she said Lchave a lot. of clout.”

“Overall we think we had an impact - our ideas were well received,” Chau commented, Aebig said that the response was about 50/50, “I think there’s an opportunity to see more pressure applied,” he said. He also commented that the response from critics to the campaign was predictable. The NDP, he said, emphasized that post secondary education should be free, while the Reform Party emphasized tax cuts* One obstacle, Aebig said, is that since the recent throne speech the federalgovernment has been focusing on the children’s agenda, and less on issues like post secondary education. On the more positive side for CASA, he said that MPs are more responsive because elections are only a year away. “An MP or a Minister can hear a ballot

drop in a box from about 500 yards,” he stated. Chau, who personally met with five MPs, said that they were enthusiastic and some “offered to take steps such as questioning in parliament why interprovincial differential tuition fees exist.” She also said one MP offered to talk to budget committees about the CASA suggestions. About local MPs Karen Redman and Andrew Telegdi, she said “they’re in support of university initiatives, however, they may have some qualms about the way they are done.” Chau went on to cite acouple of problems with approaching the federa1 government. “They’re reluctant to increase funding to universities through the provinces,” she said, “because there’s no guarantee the money will be used for universities.” She added “we had some interesting continued

to page

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NEWS

Imprint, Friday, October 29. 1999

Ontario throne speech Are students going to finally get*something?

ast week, the thirty-seventh Parliament of Ontario returned after a hiatus of over five months. The sitting of the Legislature, as is tradition, is highlighted by the Lieutenant-Governor’sThrone Speech, which outlines the government’s plan for the subsequent session of the provincial parliament. This throne speech is monumental, since it is the first since the Tory government was reelected in January, forming a new majority government. During the last mandate, concerns were raised by many special interest groups, each demanding that the Conservatives move less quickly on their many reforms in the province, or in the case of some in health care and education circles, ,demanding that reform not take place at all. Since 1995, Ontario has seen many reforms affecting students, most notably within the realm of secondary and post-secondary education. Concerning the latter, funding for certain programs has increased; however, universities continue to rally the government for more money as they percieve a continued monetary shortfall in years to come. The latest speech from the throne illustrates the Tories’

plan for post-secondary education, including the creation of a $20 billion “Supergrowth” fund, which will be spread evenly among health care, education and other institutional infrastructure. This money will be taken from savings in other programs. The Speech specifically stated that “start-

Starting next September, the government will offer “Aiming for the Top” scholarships. ing next September, [the government] will offer Aiming for the Top scholarships to the rap 10,000 students in Ontario who need financial assistance. The private sector will be challenged to match government’s $3.5 million annual commitm&t.” This announcement was welcomed by those current and future students who are in need of increased assistance due to years of tuition increases.

Just shoot me -

MARK

SCHMN

ollowing up on our report last week, the folks at Health Services want to remind all students to consider getting their flu shot in the coming weeks. The issue is more important than ever, says Dr. Barbara Schumacher. Students continue to miss large chunks of classes and also create the risk of infecting high-risk candidates on the campus including the elderly and those suffering from heart or lung conditions. The common stereotype is that only senior citizens are at high risk for the flu virus. Not only are students at risk but they need to be cautious to ensure they are not passing on the virus to those most susceptible. Schumacher notes that “the problem of flu and its impacts on seniors and other high-risk patients raises our awareness to ensure those with healthy immune systems aren’t passing it along” and endangering the lives of the elderly and the immune-deficient. By getting a flu shot, students are not only

helping to protect those at risk but are also lessening the severity of their own bout with the virus. While the vaccination can not prevent the virus from occurring, the debilitating effects of the virus are weakened. Through a “provincial vaccination program, freeshots are offered for anyone with a chronic heart, lung or kidney disease, anyone with diabetes, cancer, a blood disorder or-an immune problem, as well as teenagers who have been treated with acetlsalicylic acid for long periods. Additionally, free vaccinations are offered for anyone who lives or works in a nursing home or another chronic care institution and to anyone 65 or over. For those not covered by free vaccinations, the health services offers inexpensive shots for all students, The vaccine is $7 per shot, however it is covered by the Student Health Plan. A nurse’s fee of $8 will also be charged for administering the shot. Students not on the health ulan can receive a receipt to send to their own insurers. The flu vaccination is more important than ever as the virus is easily mutated and spreads easily among the highlystressed and rundown university crowd. To ensure your safety this winter (as well as the safety of the atrisk among you), prevent the germs from spreading through a flu vaccination. Health Services’ vaccination clinics will be held from 9 4

a.m. until

Holdvery,verystill.

McGill admits slackers

Flu shots Eiven a boost

lmpni7t stakf

Of special concern to UW (with its focus on career-oriented programs), thespeech goes on to state that “your government believes that students deserve to graduate with the skilts and knowledge they need to get jobs.” This commitment could result in more funding for the UW co-op program and courses with reIevant links to the job market, Another indication of the government’s stance towards education is their “commitment. +[t h a t] every willing and qualified Ontario student will continue to be able to attend university.” The government claims in the Speech that this has been partly accomplished by increasing student aid to “the highest level in Ontario historv.” C. Young Kim, a UW Environmental Studies student, stated that the throne speech plan was “a good one for the students.” However, Kim is skeptical about the implementation of the government’s commitment to ensure that all students with the ability will be able to get into university. “With funding the way it is, I don’t see the government being able to make that many more spaces m programs, as competition Increases, especially with the double cohort. It’s not a matter of the money they throw at OSAP, it’s about the spaces they create,” Kim said.

1 p.m.on

October 29 and November 12. Do your part and ensure you keep our campus germ-free this winter.

ROBERT fkq&r

SCHMIDT sfatf

&if I has been accused of admitting stuclfnts who did not meet the minimum standards of the university. Peggy Sheppard, a former director, has launched a wrongful dismissal suit against the university claiming that she was forced to admit students who did not meet the minimum requirements of the’schpol. A son of a prominant Canadian is ex-

A son of a prominant Canadian is expected to be an example. petted to be highlighted as an example of the pressure placed oil Sheppard to admit sub-par students. Sheppard, who hasnot worked since 1994, was hired in 1971 as assistant to the director of admissions. A year later she was promoted to director. After several years in the position she was promoted to Dean of Admissions. At that time she was told she wouid require a doctorate. In 1986 she left the school to pursue a masters degree in education and when she returned she did not receive the job she expcctcd.

From that time on she was offeredvarious jobs ar McGill but none with the seniority ofher original position. The suit, in the amount of $1.4 million, will call two former McGill Principals who now head Ontario universities.

NEWS

Imprint, Friday, Ocotber 29, I999

asl admits fault for delay

CECS.Onlinedeveloper bought by profit-hungry web startup WOODSIDE

SIMON

In a bizarre turn of events, however, Tribune Company sold AS1 to a new company called thepavementxom on September 22. According to thepavement.com Sales Director Steve Crane, the company hopes to take advantage of UW co-op student r&urn& for their national student-employer job match system. CECS.Online may sport a “clickin” button that allows students to list their r&urn& on thepavement.com’s site. ASI’s other clients and their tens of thousands of students are also potential fodder for thepavementxom. “Anything that could enable a student to have their resume on a national site.. . would be an option,” said Crane.

/mpffhf sfafl cademic Software, Inc. (ASI) has admitted responsibility A or CECS.Online delays. New developments may also lead to the commercialization of the new web-based job-search system. AS1 Vice President Philip Engle wrote that “a lack of resources on the part of AS1 to complete the project by the deadline,” along with other factors, caused the delay. According to Engle’s written statement to Imprint, CECS.Online will be ready for introduction in the spring term of 2000. Co-operative Education and Career Services (CECS) Director Bruce Lumsden said

to ‘protect’ the co-op jobs and the coop students and make those matches work.” He said that if you strip the system of that protection, “that would be detrimental to the department and to the students.”

prob-

thepavement.com makes money from job listing fees and advertising revenue, but will not be paying either the schools or the students, including UW, fur “click-ins.” CECS director Bruce Lumsden was surprised at news of the plan. “There is a general interest” in online career systems, he said. However, he responded that CECS would “need

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TheBreakfastWhap

“It’s not a requirement, it’s an option,” said thepavement.comNational Recruitment Manager Brian Tucker. “It’s a free upgrade. We’re giving the CSO [career services office] another opportunity to get their students jobs.” He said that thepavement,com is rolling out the service now. CECS Associate Director of Sys-

terns and Administrative Services Dave Thomas said that of all schools, UW has the most to lose from the widespread use of nationwide listings. “We are not keen about posting our jobs on a service shared by other universities as we feel it would have a negative effect on the number of jobs posted at UW.” He added that students “do not want to have

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Twohe. thepavement.com is a subsidiary of BrassRing, Inc., another new company. BrassRing wants to become “a dominant force in the career services marketplace.”

emmw

ASI’s status was a source of confusion. BrassRing media contact Andrea Wilson had never even heard of ASI. thepavement.com’s Tucker thought that BrassRing owned ASI directly. AS1 Vice President of Marketing Jim Ronay said that BrassRing has yet to publish “a formal document” on the corporate structure. Twohe had the definite answer, saying that ASI is a division of thepavementxom, a unit of Brass&g. When contacted Tuesday, CECS officials had also not heard of the takeover. Three investors formed BrassRing, including the Washington Post and Tribune Company, which had purchased ASI this year. Tribune Company now holds only 36 per cent of BrassRing, according to a press release. The investment by the three companies totaled $72 million, money yet to be allocated to BrassRing’s assets. The investors are still closing the deal. At UW, CECS.Online is the replacement for Access. CECS.Online - according to Co-op and AS1 officials -will allow students to create resumes, view job postings, and rank and match with jobs over the web. Access is the current system that provides a text interface to job listings and interview schedules. CECS.Online was once scheduled to be introduced last winter. CECS and AS1 subsequently announced that the system would be tested this summer and rolled out this t&m. CECS announced this summer that the deadline would not be met.

HIGHLAND

1BY PORTRAITSTUIIO NO sittina fee I SAVE OVER $50 I, Don Ypay ridiculous school prices! a (they charge

I I (previud’yI Gob i Deli-liciuud

eeb

Regarding fhe delays, ASI’s Engle stated, “this dekky in implementation is a very serious matter that will cost both AS1 and Waterloo time, money and customer satisfac- . tion.” Engle did not apologize, adding, “I know that this delay has an impact on each of your lives as you complete your education, but you will realize substantial benefit once the project has been implemented.” UW appears to have proceeded prudently in dealing financially with ASI. “A point that may be of interest would be that we’ve paid about half, but haven’t paid the other half and will not until the contract is delivered we’ll just withhold the money until we’re satisfied,” said Lumsden. He would not reveal the exact amount, but estimated the total cost of the system as no more than $450,000. “The bulk of that is probably equipment. . . we saw this as an opportunity to upgrade,” he said. ASI’s Engle confirmed that the deal between AS1 and UW is “very much a partnership.” UW is getting a special deal on the system because of that co-development. CECS benefits from the partnership because AS1 will be giving a broad, long-term commitment to the Online product, ensuring its support for years to come. In the long run, ASI plans to resell Online to other schools “in a’more generic form”it will replace its current Windowsbased office management product. “I’m not sure that there’s any other school that’s getting the kind of attention and customized features’ that Waterloo is getting,*’ said thepavementxom GeneralManager

1 I

UWLL

Wbtmi

John

ASI’s status was a source of confusion.

Students do not want to have resumes online where they could be searched. that the system is about “75 per cent” completed. The system was originally due for production this fall. Engle also blamed ASI’s lems on the corporate takeover by media conglomerate Tribune Cornpany in mid-June, “Merging any two entities with diverse backgroundslike these will have some effect on operations.”

risumis online where they could be searched. . . we have the largest share of the market and the most to lose by having the employers use a service that easily lets them post jobs at other universities.”

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NEWS

The right stuff.

Imprint, Friday, October 29, I999

Life blood

Mmmm.. . spooky snacks! Do you feel an overwhelming urge to pigoutoncandy this time ofyear?Find yourselfeatinga chocolate bar for lunch and a slice of pizza for dinner later on?Thisweekin theSLCHealthServiceswastryingtochangealIthatwithahealthy eating display.

Have you noticed howwe run a pictureofeverysingle bloodclinic? We like to see people bleed, okay?We’revampires. Seriously though, a Canadian BloodServices bloodclinicwas held this week.

Reach out and touch i someone The low down on buying a cell phone

Disclaimer: thefollowing adviceonpurchasing acellphone istheopinion ofthewriterand maynotnecessarily reflect the opinion ofImprint,

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uring the 1980s the cell phone industry emerged with the fifteen pound and very expensive handset. As prices dropped many business people began to purchase mobile phones. In 1990, prices dropped even fur.ther and the average person was able to purchase mobile phones on lengthy contract,plans. Now on the verge of the new millennium mobile phones can be seen I’m not gettingcancer. everywhere, and are used by anyone from corporate associates to the everThe Fidomatic plan is a pay-as-yougrowingstudent buyer. Fourth-year go package. You can purchase the Health Studies student Wajid Hoda Mitsubishi G75 digital handset ($50) recalls, “When I first began school or the Nokia 5 190 ($75). To opernot very many students owned a cell ate the phone a smart card must be phone.Now they’re everywhere you purchased for $25. Time cards must look.” Another student contacted by also be purchased, ranging from $10 Imprint observed, “I see students with for 28minutes, to $50 for 225 minthem all the time on campus, at the utes. Some services such as call forStudent

as http://www.geckobeach.corrs/cellularl offer many solutions to frequently asked questions and genera1 PCS information. Webmaster Steve Romaine, when asked which plan he recommended, replied “I can’t recommend any one provider over another, since each caters to a slightly different clientele.” A customer service representative from Fido suggested that, “The Fidomatic is a great deal for students looking to-purchase a cell phone.”

Life

Centre,

hailways,

me-

rywhere.” Every phone is different; there are many different packages and handsets that can be purchased. With so many choices, there are many questions which arise. Websites such

warding

arc

free,

whilt-

voicer

messaging is bilIed by the minute. Fido also has monthly plans starting at $20 for ZOO minutes a month. After using the initial 200 minutes, customers are billed’ 20 cents a minute. Fido has no activation

. charges. Bell mobility offers a similar prepaid service with time cards beginning at $25 for 7 1 minutes. Their monthly plans start at $29 for 150 minutes. Bell mobility requiresa $35 activation fee for their phone service. Cantel offers only monthly plans starting at $25 a month for 100 minutes with 25 cents/minute charge after the time is dissolved. When signed to a one-year contract users can purchase the Startac analog phone for $49 or the Nokia digital handset for $99. With a monthto-month plan, the phones go up in price to $239 and $299 respectively. Cantel has an activation fee of $25. Clearnet offers slightly different plans. For $50 a month users can receive ‘200 minutes of unlimited air time and free evenings and weekends. Phones range from $50 to $149 with no activation fees. In addition, all phones have a licensing fee of $481 year (around $5/month). As well, all mobile prov.iders require credit checks. As many students often have little credit, the companies require security deposits which can range in price depending on the credit background. Currently many cellular companits

have

advertising

gcarcd

toward

students depicting them holding a handset; pushing its convenience and necessity. First-year Computer Science student Cristel Delacruz commented, “I find my phone very useful for keeping in touch with friends.”

’

NEWS

Imprint, Friday, Ocotber 29, 1999

New Residence”

I-.. **--.*._

A bird’s eye view of one unit. (Assuming there wasn’t a roof and of course there will be one; and air conditioning. Get out of there, damn bird.)

The first floor: front level with ground at front.Thecourtyard raised one floor. ROBERT

SCHMIDT

hqurht

staf

p’he

university has a plan for the new residence, aptly entitled “New Resi dence,” that includes these conceptual drawings p&&led to Imprint. Above is the first floor plan while below, the second floor where the student units can be seen. Corner units will house the dons in the comfort and style dons at UW have grown to appreciate. The design will feature a raised courtyard as seen in the axonometric drawing to the right. The common area will sit at ground level with steps leading up to the courtyard in the centre. The new building will be built on what is now Parking Lot F between Village One and Ron Eydt Village, in front of the Tutor Houses. As reported in the June 4,1999 issue of Imprint, the rooms will be suite style. Unlike apartments, the rooms will be fully furnished and rented individually. The university consulted with students and determined that this the preferred style.

j i :’

( ,

’

Axonometricview: here’s where you get to live. , . if you are in first year and lucky.

The second floor: different grays indicatedifferent units.

Why we need a new res

emand for residence space is increas ing due to expected enrollment in creases from Ontario’s ATOP (Access to Opportunities Program) and the double cohort. ATOP, which UW is participating-in, will see an enrollment increase of 30 per cent

The “New Residence” will house 320 students and eight dons. The occupancy date is August 2001, which should be sufficient to accomodate the double cohort before the total impact of ATOP is felt. The cost of $435 is considered high by

over five years for co-op

some students,

op programs. The double cohort, government’s decision generate twice as many year and is a problem addressing by building

and four

for non-co-

a result of the Ontario to eliminate OAC, will elligible students in that that UW and others are new residences.

but is unlikely

to deter

fresh,

who have little support or experience in their first. year to strike out and find off-campus housing. Since there is no longer a Village Two, in all likelyhood this new residence will tlot be called Village Three.

And ifyou still don’t get it, here’s the overview,

--*4

l.zl__-el

I’

- ----7r

. _& -”

NEWS

Imprint, Friday, October 29, 1999

It’s all over down under

Midnight Sun V crosses the finish line

CONNIE

K’WAN

result, the rotor collapsed onto the stator, and the Hall effect sensors were damaged. The failure occured

fix the problem The University

but couldn’t of Minnesota

vehicle

to lend

stopped

do so. lead

assistance,

motor and motor-controller were compatible with our electrical systern, al nd we were

on the road

once

idnight Sun again at around 4:30 p.m. forged on and Race Day 9 was the came through last day of the race for the the finish line on October Midnight Sun Solar Car 25, despite experiencing a Team. The Team crossed the major setback. finish line in Adelaide at The Midnight Sun Soaround 3:00 p.m. and travlar Car Team, set off in Auselled a total distance of 408 tralia on October 17. With lulls. determination, and with The Team, expected sincere thanks to the grace to withdraw two days prior, and friendliness of a fellow was grateful to MIT for lendcompetitor they were able ing their motor and motor co finish the race. controller to us, enable us to Day seven of the race, ,finish the race. It was a testaOctober 23, was a very disment to the friendly, coopappointing day for the Miderative manner in night SunTeam. The pins, We’vecomealongwaybaby!TheMidnightSunVTeamafterthebigrace. which the race was run. . .* , used to adjust the spacmg The University of between the rotor and the stator at around 1:OO p.m. The Team spent however the solar car could not be Waterloo Midnight Sun Solar Car inside the NGM motor, failed. As a a whole hour on the road trying to repaired on the road Team would like to extend our exside. The soiar car was therefore treme gratitude to the University of trailered to a camp site in Port Minnesota and the Massachusetts Augusta. Institute of Technology solar car The officials and other teams teams for their assistance in making it were notified to see if they could possible for us to complete the race to offer assistance. At this point theTeam Adelaide. “AWARD WINNING FACTORY TRAINED ACURA was still competing, and it had not With the endof Midnight Sun V withdrawn from the TECHNICIANS race. On the morning of Race Day eight, theTeam decided to head to Adelaide to see if other teams could help. En route to Adelaide, the MIT team called us on our satellite phone and told us that they had a spare NGM motor and a spare motor controller from 1997. Actually the spare motor belongs to Yale, and I MIT was using it as their Things weren’t looking so sunny for Midnight Sun V. backup. Luckily the spare

YOUR CAR'SHIIMEAWAYFROM HOME

comes the birth of Midnight Sun VI. Be part of a University of Waterloo legend

which

dates

Join theMidnight

back

to 1989.

Sun solar car team!

The pins, used to adjust the spacing between the rotor and the stator inside the NGM motor failed. Apply your skills, learn teamwork, make friends and build a race car. All students from all faculties are welcome! The Midnight Sun office is locatedinEngineering3, room 1303.

FAIRVIEW

For alifetime ofperformance 2685KINGSWAY DRIVE, KITCHENER

(519)893-9000

SLC display promotes alcohol awareness

www.fairviewacura.com

SARAH CIW;L~N AND KATE SCHWASS h?pr/ht star7

ityVision (entree 150 Universitv

Ave..

W. Camws

Court

Plaza,

A Bacchus peared

display

$19

what

Single Vision $59 Bifocals

(with lines)

No-Line Bifocals i

could

contact lenses at regular price, and get a second pair FREE.

LENSES

(most popular brands) I With coupon - Pla@ic le s prices are applicable with the purchase of a frame 1 It valid with antither offer. ExEresmwmwm Nov. 5/99 , at regular pnce.b A mmmm

much

be purchased

beer

with the

same amount

of money

most

students

towards

their

put

awareness alcohol,

of issues related however

they

to will

soon be expanding their services to include topics such as safe sex, healthy eating and finess possibly in conjunction

CONTA<T

1 (6 p arr, ) 1 I I I

of beer cases how

text books. Bacchus promotes

I EYEGLASSES OR OR coNT*cTs DISPOSABLE ; Buy one complete pair of eyegkes

students

could do with their money besides using it to buy alcohol. represent

1 FREE 1 CONTA<T . LENSES l

ap-

in the SLC this week

illustrated

Th e pyramid

IN<REDIBLE SALE

that

with Health

We’d be more impressed if they weren’t empty.

Services.

Imprint, Friday, October 29, I999

NEWS

’

CASA lobbying brings student loan issueto forefront continued

from

page

suggested ‘voucher schools’ where students bring their tuition and a voucher from the federai government as payment.” She also said that although “the Liberals generally understand the importance of postsecondary education,” Minister of

banks are in negotiations,“Aebig told Imprint. He said that the negotiations, to be completed in July 2000, revolve around transferring responsibility for student loans to the banks. It was Aebig’s opinion that “the government is handing over this program because they don’t want to have any more responsibility for it.”

No pepper here. Finance Paul Martin “made it clear there are a number of priorities they have to balance.” The most interesting part of the lobbying, according to Aebig, was meetingwiththe bankofficials. “Right now the federal government and the

He said that in the new deal the federal government will most likely do the needs assessment portion of the loans while the bank wiI1 administer them. The government-bank negotiations raised some controversy at the

CASA conference. Part of the negotiations involve using the number of students who default on their student Ioans to determine risk sharing, Aebig said. Chau put it more simply: “The banks stated that they lose a great deal of money on student loans because of students that ‘default’ on student loans. The government has to offer incentives for banks to take on programs. ” These incentives, she said, are based on default rates the banks provide, which in turn are supposed to indicate how much it costs the bank to risk giving out student loans. She added that ‘&there’s an incentive to inflate the numbers-we don’t know for sure if they are or not.” Aebig took an even more critical stance on the banks. He said the CASAtookissuewithhow the banks define default. “You can be late in a payment three times in the Canada Student Loans Program, then you are considered a default,” he said. “It just means they’re late. Most of that money is coming back to the banks,” he added, stating that 80 per cent of the students who are considered by the banks to have defaulted will eventually pay them back. Of the banks, Aebig said that “they admitted they defined it this way,” and that “CASA had the Royal Bank stumped” when they confronted them with the issue, Aebig said that CASA considers a default to be someone who neuer pays back their loan. “We’re eoing to drive tvhis point home at -1 every opportunity,” he emphashed. Aebig even went so far as to say that “these banks are doing very well” and that ,“the folks working within the banks are shady characters.” He predicted tfiat once the banks have more control over student loans they will become much more aggressive. CASA’s report R& Results out-

Post no bills. lines some of the CASA initiatives which have produced change in federa1 policy. These changes include an extended loan repayment period and greater access to interest relief on loans, as well as scholarship initia-

hopes the event on Parliament I-Ml becomes annual, and that all the MPs and banks come to seek input. “The response has been awesome. People have wondered where the student; have been all these years,” he concluded. For anyone interested

“These banks are doing very well. inbecdminginvol in the Education Builds a Nation ca ’ The folks working within the paign, another eve% will be held on N banks are shady charactem” vember 7 in the SL 2 , tives. The Education Builds a Nation Campaign, is different however, according to Aebig. “This is the first campaign we’ve ever mounted-in comparative terms it’s a major imn he said. He said he provement,

Chau said that a hug f Canadian flag will be built with bookq and that other CASA member schools will also be holding events on the day in question. She added that each CASA member school would also be mailing bricks to the Prime Minister tb further promote their theme.

NEWS

-I0

Another

day on University

(Just wait until winter)

Imprint, Friday, October

29,

I999

Weekendrevival

School of Planning aims to “recvcle” old building J

SARAH

Ouct+that’sgoingtocostsomebody! Ldoking for a crunch? University Avenue is the place togo. Our photoeditors regularly snap accidents in front of their apartment; they took thisone lastweekend.So remember, kiddies: drivecarefully in thecomingwinter weather.

DaLn

es,

Since 1870,those handy pull tabs

iho a pair of Bkkkto~es.‘The silicone reated upper keeps feet dry. Unisex styles. And no cursed

Shoes 22

133 Weber St. N, Waterloo (519) 746-4983

CRELLIN lmpnht staff

n old property located in Kitchener, at 100 Duke Street West, will be revived by UW planning students-at least in theory. Two classes of planning students . will work in teams of four or five people in an effort to offer “hypothetical alternative futures” for the old high school property, according to a School of Planning press release. The project will be completed in only three intensive days, the press retease said. Thirty people are expected to participate in totaf. The T.A. for the courses which will be working on the project, Kelly Foisy, told Imprint that the goal of the project is “to show the city that planning students know what’s going on.” “It’s to have a look at an abandoned site and derive good planning and site policy,” Foisy continued. The press rejease stated that the student proposals for the property will be judged by “a multi-disciplinary panel which “will critique student proposals and invite discussion of ideas. W The project is scheduled to begin on October 29, and finish October 3 1, Foisy said.

The buildings on the property are unique and must be incorporated into the project. The School of Planning press release said that the buildings constitute a heritage site and that they are neo-classical in nature. The site has been boarded up by the city for some time. Foisy said that one reason the buildings won’t be destroyed is because “they guy who owns them is a little in love with them.” Foisy said that the School of Planning has run similar events in the past, including last year’s theoretical conversion of an old button factory into a live/work space. The event has been dubbed the Annual Student Design Churrette. Although the buildings on the proposed site are quite old, the planning methods will be quite modern. The SchooI’s press release said that the students in the project will be “armed with the latest 3-D modeIing softw&e” as well as their imagination. An initial visit to the site will take place on Friday from 3130 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Presentations will be given out following the completion of the project on Sunday from 1 :OO to 4: 3 0 p.m. in room 22 1 of Environmental Studies building one.

WaterlooStudentNewspapel

Created with volunteer spirit at the University of Waterloo You may have noticed some subtle changes these last few issues,one of them being a vacancy in the position of Editor-in-Chief, We are currently hiring, but this is a thank-you to the volunteer staff and the dedication they have put into producing the quality paper UW students expect. We hope that this commitment is appreciated by our readership and thank all of those who have put in that extra effort.

Darren

Altmayer,

Kate Schwass, Steve Lockwood,

Paul Schreiber,

Sarah Crellin,

Ryan Merkley,

Carrie Lindeboom, Aman Dhaliwal, Angela Mike Habicher, Rob Schmidt, Arun Pereira

Adina

Gillian,

Takizawa,

John Swan, Janice

Jim,;

Jonathan Allen, Tammy Baine, Tim Bauer, Rachel E. Beattie, Kate Belcher, Chis Benoit, Adam Brock, Criffer Castleton, Marc Chanachowic, Ryan Chen-Wing, Melissa Choong, Emily Collins, Caitlin Crockard, Mike Cope, Michael DeJong, Mark Schaan, DanielDwyre, Nigel Fleer, Josh Garthson, Cindy Gee, Honny Ghadari, Terry Goodenough, Trish Green, Krista Guenther, Warren Hagey,Ted Harns, Erica Jantzi, LisaJohnson, Ken Keng, J,I? Lewis, Andy Kaczynski, Roman Kliotzkin, Connie I&van, JessicaKwik, Andrew IA, SaadMalik, Alison Meghie, Lindsay NlcLaren, Evan Munday, Mark Modo1o, Bashar Mohamad, Liz Monier-Williams Andrew Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Connor, Ryan Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Conner, Emily Paige, Doug Painter, Matt Patterson, Nicholas Remedios, Kurt Rohman, Kate Seto, Inderpal Singh, Adam Stanley, Rob Van Kruistum, Robin Stewart, Wendy Vnoucek, Joshvan Wijk, Erik Walle, Dave Ward, CW Wheeler, Simon Woodside, Mike Yunker, Joel Ziegler

t i k

i I \ ! i r

June 4, ~999~01ume 22, Number 3

Staff vacant, Editor-in-Chief vacant, Assistant Editor Darren Altmayer, Forum&Staff Liason Paul Schreiber,Sarah Crellin, News Ryan Merkley, Adina Gillian, Arts John Swan, Kate Schwass,Sports Carrie Lindeboom, ShetbyJai-Flick, Features Aman Dhaliwal, Science AngelaTakizawa, Janicefim, Photos vacant, Graphics Arun Pereira, Web Rob Schmidt, SystemsAdministrator SteveLockwood, Proofreader vacant, Proofreader vacant, Proofreader vacant, Proofreader vacant, Proofreader Marea Willis, Business Manager LaurieTigert-Dumas, Advertising& Production Manager Emily Paige,Advertising Assistant EricaJantzi, Advertising Assistant Bryan Bensen, Distribution JustineSaccomanno, Distribution Board of Directors Robin Stewart, President RobSchmidt,Vice-President Mike Habicher,Treasurer Rachel Beattie, Secretary Contributors MelissaChuong, Nigel Fleer,TrishGreen, Krista Guenther, Warren Hagey, RobVan Kruistum, JessicaKwik, Saad Malik, Alison Meghie, Liz Monier-Williams, RyanO’Conner, Doug Painter, Nicholas Remedios, MarkSchaan, Adam Stanley, Wendy Vnoucek, Eri k Walle, DaveWard, Simon Woodside. Imprint is thiofkial student newspaper oftheUniversityofWaterloo. It isan editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, orporation without share intisamemberofthe OntarioCommunity Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term, Imprint reserves the right toscreen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint ISSN0 7069 7380,lmprintCDN Pub Mail Product SalesAgreement no. 554677. Address mail to: Imprint Student LifeCentre, Room I I I6 UniversityofWaterloo Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C I Tel:5 I 9-888-4048 Fax:5 I g-884-7800 https//imprint.uwaterloo.ca editor@imprinr.uwaterloo.nx

’ Ontario universitiesdemand cash Dave Johnston:

t isn’t often that the Ontario government throws money in the direction of Ontario Universities. When this year’s provincial budget announced some $700 million for capi+ tal projects on university campuses, universities including our own were predictably elated. When the details of this new funding arrived in the mailbox of Provost Jim Kalbfleisch this month the picture looked significantly less rosy. The University of Waterloo’s Centre for Environmental and Information Technologies (CEIT), promised by the government in the early nineties and then put off in the lean, defecit-cutting years, was mentioned by Ontario Finance Minister Ernie Eves in his budget speech as one of the projects that this $700 million would pay for. Unfortunately, it turns out that Waterloo will have to reapply to receive funding for this important project. The project is important largely because it was planned back in the early nineties as a solution to the lack of space on campus for both students and researchers. The government is requiring, however, that all proposals for this new money be judged on the criteria of how many new student spaces they will create over 1998-99 levels. Enrollment at this university has expanded a fair chunk since the original CEIT proposal was made, making the existing space problems more severe. Unfortunately, the government won’t let our University address any of those existing problems, asking instead that we promise to pack more students onto our already packed campus and hey, they’ll cover some of

show me the money

the cost of making that happen. Guess where the rest will come from. The Council of Ontario Universities (COU) has recently told the Ontario government that if they are expected to deal with the challenge of the double cohort {the extra student expected to hit universities in 2003-04 when O.A.C. ends) they will need an extra $1 billion to do it. The implied threat behind that statement is that if the government doesn’t pony up

Enrollment at this university has expanded.. . the needed dollars, then the government will have to find someplace else to put all the extra high school graduates. Unfortunately for UW and the COU, the government seems intent on nickle-and-diming the enrollment difference between this year and the 2003-04 target away through programs like the one from which the CEIT money will come, if it does come. Just like when it comes to choosing between increasing tuition or freezing it, universities, including ours, will feel that they have no choice but to apply for money from these kinds of programs. Without them, institutions would fall even further behind in the fight to maintain quality education in the face of eroding public

An alternative

support. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone on campus. The consequences of bartering away our space for cash will not necessarily be immediately catastrophic, but they will contribute to a continuing problem. Our classrooms, labs and residences will get more crowded and the educational experience here will become more impersonal than it already is. So who is the villian in this drama of ours? The university - for consistently overshooting enrollment targets? The government - for not understanding the crisis facing Ontario universities? Ontario high school students - for choosing Waterloo in record numbers? As far as I am concerned we need look no further than ourselves, and by that I mean the entire University community. Without dramatizing the situation too far, university education as it has been is under attack, it is being forced to alter its goals and principals to meld with the financial agenda of the majority of Ontarions. I don’t believe that this is happening because the majority of Ontarions don’t appreciate or want centres of excellence. I believe that universities must take a more active role in educating the province about what they do and why they are in a dire situation. As students, I think it is time for us to look past our individual plight and join hands with our faculty and administration partners in addressing what is a true crisis in education.

-Robin Stewart 3AOperutions Reseurcb

to the throne speech

Morerantsfrom a politicaljunkie

ell, it’s been a week since Hillary Weston stood before the primlydressed patrons of Queen’s Park to utter the latest manifesto of the Harris Tory government. Unfortunately, its been a week and I am still unable to digest good portions of the rhetoric-filled, repeat-promise speech which targeted the marginalized and extolled the better-off. In an attempt to diffuse the information of the throne speech1 provide for you today an alternative throne speech, one that more accurately reflects the sub-text hidden behind Mr. Harris’ carefully-chosen words. Members of the Legislative Assembly, invited guests, fellow citizens: It’s been a long while since we have conI vened together. Riding our popularity wave has allowed usas a government to arrogantly ignore all opposition and govern by edict and not be proper process. However, after our healthy new mandate we felt the need to decree from on high more of the insensitive neo-conservatism you have come to love (or at least tolerate) of this government for the past five years. On this day we would like to welcome you to the new Ontario. After systematically reducing welfare to the point where our poor can’t survive, we have now ensured they can not

earn

subsistence

through

system. In the near future, with smart cards, we will soon too poor (and all citizens) to mere #448742, welcome this new

cheating

the

the advent of degrade these numbers. I, as system and am

glad this monstrous expense will rip the mere pennies out of each and every hand of each and every impoverished person in our fair province. But do not fear. Your fair Tory government has not lost all sensitivity. Responding to the great challenge of the organ-needy in our province we have a plan. Following up on the successes of our high-school dropout Education Minister and our highly ethical Minister of Municipal Affairs we have appointed Don Cherry, the man most responsible for organ and bodily damage in Canada, to head a new task force (actual fact) hoping to ensure that more organs come available and that we soon can fill our crumbling hospitals with patients unable to receive transplants due to a shottage of nurses. Among our invited guests today, we have rhe fine pleasure of having Mrs. Ginger Rudy with us. Unlike the typical stories we tell you of individuals making the best of their plight and coming out of the world of poverty, Mrs. Rudy’s story is a little different. Mrs. Rudy raised five children all on her own. Attempting to improve her lot, she tried to work and go back to school to earn a university degree. Denied a student loan by our government, Mrs. Rudy hoped the new Canadian Millennium Fund would be of assistance, but unfortunately it was denied to part-time students and the funds that were available were simply swallowed by this government to pay for existing grants. Mrs. Rudy could not improve her situa-

tion job five aim

from the subsistence wages earned by her and so she was forced out on the street. Her children have become squeegee kids in an to supplement the family’s income. We pledge as a government today to do everything we can to remove the aggressive pan-handling techniques of the Rudy family and get their unseemly presence off our streets and busily serving other poor people as quickly as we can. Highlighting an earlier promise, Mrs. Rudy, now #99829431, will be monitored closely through the advanced retina-scan technolgoy of our Smart Card and we can attest she will not earn a single extra penny from the bloated bureaucracy of the new system operators. ‘Your government knows that people want to work. It understands that further welfare reforms are needed” to ensure that those we have marginalized socially can now effectively be marginalized financially. As we have denied all hope for non-paying customers of the new Ontario corporation, we will do everything in our power to get people 0If our streets. Bus tickets to Manitoba or Alberta, our more generous neighbor provinces, could very well progress Ontario to being the most elite, arrogant and unfeeling province in the whole of Canada. With this in mind we look foward to another 5 years of Harris rule. God Bless Canada. God Bless Ontario. God Save... Harris? -Mark

3NArts

A. Schuan

Bell and UW responds

Berzerk ToonS by BAbWheeler

n the October 8 issue of Imprint, Paul Schreibei in the article VW, Bell make deal” wrote about UW’s decision to identify Bell as the preferred supplier of high speed Internet access through Sympatico High Speed Edition service. As stated in the article, in addition to UW, University of Western Ontario, University of Toronto and Algonquin College have also signed three-year agreements with Bell Canada to promote Bell Sympatico High Speed Edition service as the preferred solution for high speed access to the University and the Internet from the off-campus homes of students, faculty and staff. During negotiations, Bell offered the universities a choice of options in offering this service: either a discount for an ISP-like service (UWO, UT), or a salesagency agreement for the consumer service (UW). The technical details of the ISP-like service did not satisfy UW requirements as specified in the original request for information, and so Bell and UW executed the agency agreement. This resulted in a discrepancy in pricing among the university communities. To rectify the situation, Bell Canada has renegotiated the contract with UW. The Sympatico High Speed Edition service will be available to UW students, faculty and staff for $35.95 per month for those subscribers who choose Bell as their long distance provider. For current WW affiliated subscribers, Bell will provide a retroactive credit of $4.00 per month that will appear in the December statement. UW will not be receiving an agency fee. In addition, 341 is extending the special offer of 5 0 per cent off installation for another two weeks, until November 14. As well, as way of apology for our initial teething problems with our order processing, Bell will provide a credit for one month’s service to members of the university community who sign up for SympatimHigh Speed Edition service between September 15 and November 14. Again, a credit will appear on the December statement. We apologize for the inconven-

ience and hope these improvements will help clear the way for faster surfing. -+zyBluck Assdciate Provost Infomration systems and Technology University 0fW~teritm -Liane SuIlivan Associute Director Broadband Development Bell Canada

A nice Christmas gift idea . . . already To the Editor,

few years back, pet rocks were the rage. A few people got very rich. This year it’s our hope pet bricks will stop an outrage. No one will make a cent. It’s simple. For $25, you solve your gift giving woes, and help solve a situation beyond most people’s comprehension. Your donation will get a name permanently inscribed on a brick to

be used in a humane rural animal shelter. The conditions some strays are kept in would turn any animal lover’s stomach. Minimum expense, minimum effort to find owners, then off to animal research! We are going to change things! You can help. For gift giving purposes, an attractive certificate is issued with each brick, and you will be notified of location, and encouraged to visit. To make the shelters self sufficient, they will be surrounded by beautiful bird and butterfly gardens, and offspring of the plants will be sold to visitors. We are a newly registered, volunteer based non profit organization. Our name, Sadpig, is an acronym, designed to catch attention, and appeal to children. What better present for an animal lover? What better way to say “Merry Christmas”? For more info visit: http://www.sadpig.org. Thank-you for your caring. . -Bmy

Tuddenbum

wig

It wasn’t

MORT ‘N NEWTON

me,

dammit

To the Editor,

n a recent issue of the Imprint

you

ran a letter claiming to be written by me. The letter doesn’t have one ounce of truth to ir. It is so ridiculous I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know anyone named Akil. I don’t know anyone from Shell Lake. I don’t even know where Shell Lake is. I don’t even know how to spell Sasckatewan. I could never let anyone crash on my couch. I don’t even have a couch. Let me tell you, that really sucks. Sometimes, after a hard day of studying, I just want to come home and plop onto a couch and watch some TV, But can I do this? Noooo. I don’t have a TV, I don’t have a couch, just a couple of almost broken wooden chairs borrowed from a friend . I . and a small table. On the plus side, we have a pool table, so that’s good. As far as I know, none of my roommates have had anyone vomit on them this term, although I can’t really be sure of this. I don’t see one of my roommates too often, so who knows? But there has been little vomiting in my house and most, if not all of it has been confined to the bathroom. I demand an apology from the Imprint for tarnishing my reputation by running a letter that I didn’t write

to the editor. -Russell O’Conner 4A Pure Ma tbl Computer

Science

Editor’s note: the or&inal letter was a postingon theuw.generuinewsgruup.

Kudos

for Ryan

To the Editor,

he absolute best thing I have in the Imprint since I’ve started at Waterloo has got to be your special spot for Ryan Chen-Wing. The glare he gives the camera is how a lot of volunteers on campus feel when no one gives them the credit they deserve. Keep up the good work Ryan, ! along with a11the other folks across campus.

-Peter Lizak 3a Applied Matb/Comptiter

Science

The Forum Section enables members of the University of Waterloo community to present views on various issues through letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. Letters should not exceed 350 words in length. They can be submitted to: letters@i~~rint.uwaterloo,ca. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation+ The opinions expressed through columns, comment pieces, letters and other articles are strictly those of the authors, not the opinions of Imprint.

FORUM

lmorint,

Friday, October

by:

Save the Laurel

t’s shocking that the Grand River Conservation Association (GRCA) is proposing to sell off part of the Laurel Creek Nature Centre for development. Laurel Creek is a magnificent piece of natural space with century-old trees and a pristine stream serving as a spawning bed for fish. It serves not only as an educational resource to school children but also as recreational space for many. Laurel Creek is part of what makes Waterloo a desirable place to live. The GRCA has, so far, been doing an excellent job of managing and maintaining this unique green space. Unfortunately, with the present building boom, Laurel will be hemmed in on all sides by new subdivisions. Diminishing it further by cutting out c&de-sacs along its boundaries is outrageous. As runoff is toward the Creek, the inevitable pollutants wilt run into the park area, The v&or will be greeted by the roar of lawnmowers instead of the songs of birds. Along with the other dubious blessings of increasing growth

Creek

Nature

the Americas. Greet the trade ministers at the Metro Convention Centre (Front and John Streets). There is also a public working session on Thursday November 4, 7:30 p.m. for H7ALT (Highway 7

cRm2 star. ”

wmp.”

LrDonnieBrusco,

Jon Gardner 3A Speech Communications

Derek Sequeira 1A Chemical Engineering

Sam LoBrutto 3A Political Science

Timp

“‘A bigdefomedgenetically

Melissa Binger 2A Kinesiology

”

and Chris Morgan and 4A Math

Karina Gregory 3A Political Science

engineered tomato!”

1999

Mike Cope

Centre

such as a rising crime rate, increasing Region of Waterloo has the means to congestion, air pollution, and degrapreserve some of our natural spaces. dation of our water resources, selling There should be other ways to raise off part of our natural heritage would the million dollars the sale of the land be a further erosion of our quality of in question would bring. life. Ultimately, financial support The arguments of some GRCA from the concerned public is needed management that the lands in questo preserve our natural areas and to tion are not particularly unique and support the GRCA. A local campaign that the role of the GRCA is primarily specifically targeted to “Save Laurel flood control are simply unacceptCreek,” which the people of Waterable- Surely our green space is more loo can directly relate to, would than just a museum for unique specisurely raise a responsive chord. mens. By doing the job that the “C” * Members of the campus comin its name refers to, the GRCA will munity will be meeting with GRCA continue to make an important conrepresentatives next week, on tribution to the health of the comWednesday, November 4. Contact munity. WPIRG if you are interested in atBut the GRCA needs to be adtending this meeting. equately funded to do this job. With Upukte: drastic provincial funding cuts, their Mumia-Abu-Jamal has received back is against the wall. The message a stay of execution. the Conservatives at Queen’s Park Events: have been sending is very clear: enOn Thursday November 4, 7-9 vironmental conservation is not a a.m. in Toronto there is a demonpriority for the government, and if stration to shut down the FTAA. A Ontarians want to preserve the natudemonstration against the expanral environment they value, they will sion of the North American Free have to do it themselves. Surely, the Trade Agreement (NAFTA} to all of

Alternative Transportation) The MTC Working session to stop the proposed highway and explore alternatives. At Terrace on the Square, corner of King&William, entrance on Caroline.

“What will you dress up us for Halloween?” Janice Jim

andHoochie.

fuggetaboutit.

”

“Afro Boy-with Essae Joseph 4A Math

“We&x

”

Dave Gardonio IA BioChemistry

bells. ”

Vines and rooftops can moderate this “urban heat island” effect which causes an 80 degree Celsius increase in temperature nsulation just got exciting. What relative to the countryside due to reonce was strictly pink, may now radiated heat. This heat can exacerinclude shades of green. It seems bate poor air quality, but plant life to be working in Europe, and the can also act as a natural filter. “Trees insulating qualities of vines and are the lungs of the city,” says Monica rooftop gardens has caught the inKuhn, another contributor to the terest of Canadian environmental report and architect by trade. ,41scientists, architects and the private though trees are not frequently sector. Areabove ground portwritten level, Kuhn for the pointed to Canada Queen’s Quay Terminal in ToMortgage and Housronto which ining Corpocorporated ration, trees 30 to 40 Greenbacks feet tall in their from Green rooftop courtRoofs: yards as an exForging a ample. Right New Inhere at UW, trees are lofted dustry in Canada atop the upper Eric Mann, 3year Architecture. 1 I shows how level of Village rooftop gardens and vine-covered One. Rooftop gardens can be much facades can change the urban envismaller. The Mountain Equipment ronment . . . for the better. These Co-op store in Toronto used a rooftop gardens and vines may climb wildflower meadow mix ofperennito the height of popularity when als in their rooftop structure which homeowners discover that these benwas built right into the original deefits are more than leaf-deep. sign. Existing buildings would need The layer of vegetation coverto be retro-fitted to accommodate ing a wall can be the all-weather the weight of a rooftop garden. parka of a building, Rooftop and Sloped roofs as well as flat roofs can vertical gardening adds more probe used as the plate for a rooftop tection against wind and reduces garden sandwich which would inheating in winter by 25 per cent. In elude: a waterproof drainage layer, the summer, air conditioning use can a filter cloth, a growing medium, and be lowered 50 to 75 per cent by lettuce, er.. . I mean, plants. Actually, direct shading and cooling through a hydroponic system to grow edible evapotranspiration of leaves. On a vegetables can be done with less renosummer day, “roofs are like hot vations because of its light weight, plates . . . they’re heating up the according to Dr. Brad Bass, co-aucity,” says Steven Peck, co-author of thor of the Greenbacks report and a the Greenbacks report. Vegetation researcher with the Adaptation and JESSICA specia/

KW~K lo ImpM

Impacts Research Group (of which there is a UW branch). Last week, KuhnandPcckgaveaslideshowpresentation which included examples of rooftop garden agriculture, including the chef at the Royal York hotel who cooks with his own herbs, grown in a garden high above Toronto. Uw Urban Planning student, Ryan McNally was in attendance: “I think it has a lot of potential from the perspective of developing community and developing that web or interactlon that makes an urban space a really exciting place to live. They were showing examples such as St. Petersburg, Russia, where community gardening was being done on roofs of buildings, supplying the urban population with fresh produce that they couldn’t get from the countryside.” Vertical gardening, which ineludes vines and trees flushtoawall, is much more accessible than rooftop gardens and some of the benefits can be fourfold since vegetation can cover four walls. LLHomeowners will ask for strategic places to plant trees. These recommendations can be made. Structural additions such as awnings can also be suggested. It’s all a part of the energy efficiency package,” says Ryan Kennedy, a representative of the Residential Energy Efficiency Program (R.E.E.P.) on campus. Vines adorn the buildings on campus from the Villages to Chemistry and Biol-

ogy to the Environmental Studies building and are maintained twice a year. According to Jerry Hutten of UW Grounds Services, “They were put in for aesthetics . . . years and years ago.” Some of the disadvantages of vines are the lack of air circulation to keep walls dry and the excessive growth into windows and under the flashing of roofs. Peter Fulcher from UW Building Section and bfasonry added that vines could destroy brick and siding of older huildings. Installing a trellis, as recommended by researcher Bass, would be a way of avoiding problems of moisture and wall deterioration. “It’s the penultimate sustainability technology,” says Peck. Peck is now forming a business coalition with roofing companies, manufacturers, and engineering consultants called Green Roofs for Healthy Cities based in Toronto to market rooftop gardens in Canada. The greatest . . challenge for Peck is ralsmg awareness in North America about rooftop and vertical gardening and the market failure that results when the many “benefits don’t find expression in the marketplace. ” Peck and some of his colleagues of the Greenbacks report, like Brad Bass and Monica Kuhn, are currently looking at developing a demonstration project to help educate, in addition to studying, the many researc I questions further.

Science tidbits KATE SMON

!~CHWASS WOODSIDE

AND

Imp ffht sta#

We’re

all going

to die!

According to scientists, a world wide flu epidemic is headed right for us within the next ten years. Anywhere between 9,000 and 5 1,000 Canadians could die. The last world wide flu epidemic was in 1968 when 4,000 Canadians died, four times the usual amount. There is just another reason to get your flu vaccination!

cording to the site, “All egg recipients must have substantial financial resources to guarantee that the children that are born from these unions have a financially secure and stable life.” Soon the site will offer male models who will donate their sperm. If you want to donate you will need to go through a medical exam, submit a photograph of yourself and two pieces of photo ID, be beautiful, intelligent and between the ages of 18 and 30. You also get to determine the lowest bid for your sperm.

Crash Raise

funds

for

baby,

crash

tuition

Are you beautiful, smart and healthy? Do you want to make money to pay off tuition? Well then you may want to check out the web site www.ronsangels.com a place where women can sell their eggs. If you are infertile, you can buy eggs here, but they come at a high cost. Bids start at US$15,000 and move up to $150,000in$1,000increments,Ac-

Your computer is going to fail soon, and it has nothing to do with theY2K bug. According to the October issue of Scientific American, ever increasing processor and hard drive speeds are soon going to catch up with relatively steady hardware failure rates, Soon meaning five to ten years. The average hard disk, for example, gives you back a misread bit once in every 10 to 100 trillion reads. That would

be maybe one bad bit a week for a heavy user. But with hard drives expected to double in capacity and speed roughly every 18 months, it won’t be long before you’re having an error every few hours. The same problem applies to processor calculations, memory busses and so on. Apple Computer is reported to be toying with the idea of using errorcorrecting memory for their computers, which would allow for the effects of cosmic rays and decay in accuracy as the memory ages. This presages the coming era when almost all types of operations are likely to have error-correction. Without it, who knows what garbage will come out?

Medical

ofthe

miracle

century

Penicillin is the medical miracle of the century according to a poll of British doctors. First discovered by bacteriologist Alexander Fleming in 1928, penicillin topped the list followed by

acetylsalicylic chemotherapy

Out

acid (i.e. Aspirin), and antidepressants.

of the X-F&

Odd flashes of light and fleeting clouds on the moon may actually hold some scientific basis and are not just the figment of wild imaginations. The satellite Clementine shows that a small area on the moon’s surface darkened and reddened in April, 1994. Until then, astronomers had never been able to confirm the sightings many people have reported.

We’re to die.

all going . . again!

Want to know when you are going tw die? The Website http:// www.deathclock.com will help you count down the seconds until your death. According to the site, death clock is “the Internet’s friendly reminder that life is slipping away . . . second by second?

engineers: don thy thinking caps AMXNDEEP DHALIWAL lmpk7t

S. slaff

he Ontario Engineering Competition is an annual event that draws university students from around the province and promotes excellence, innovation and ingenuity in engineering design and communications. The first and second place winners in each category will be expected to represent the OEC at the national Canadian Engineering Competition, which is usually hosted within one or two weeks of the OEC. Fakhri Karray - who is an engineering professor looking to recruit students for Waterloo’s team -

UVV teams took ‘4most of the top prizes” last winter. says UW teams took “most of the top prizes” last winter in such categories as entrepreneurial design, explanatory communications and team design. Karray, who is the advisor for UW participants in the Ontario and national contests, is hoping for similar success this year. Karray says “we urge students from ail disciplines in engineering to participate in the events by submitting their entries.” The Dean of Engineering will sponsor two official UW teams for each category. According to Karray, if you are not sponsored by the Dean, you can still enter OEC 2000 on your own. The six categories in the OEC and CEC are Entrepreneurial Design of a marketable product not currently available; Corporate Design for a solution to a problem faced by a company; Editorial Comunication of a viewpoint on the social impact of a current technological issues; Explanatory Communication of a complicated technical process; Parliamentary Debate; Team Design for building a prototype used to resolve a complex design problem (only first/second year students qualify). In case you were wondering, there are considerable monetary incentives, with prizes up to $2,500 for first place.

Want to do something about it? Sign a postcard at the Feds Office (SLCI 102 ) or at your Society Office

Look for the Feds info display on scholarships and bursar& around campus this week

Co-Op Student Advisory Grow Meeting: Meet with top officials from the Co-Op Department and let rnem Know your views! Employers Lounge -1st floor, Needles Hall Wednesday at 4:30 PM

Call for submissions Pick up info at the Feds Office (SLCl102) or e-mail fedvpin @feds.uwaterloo.ca

CASEY ST.JONES

HYPNOSIS -cl@> &Y

The

Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hypnosis

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Taking the tongue ring plunge ArmoN MEGHIE specia/ to h7yhr

ith the piercing phenomenon increasing in popularity, I found myself being drawn to it’s calling. The tongue piercing, I had to have it. I have no

ful eyes of my parents, into the unsuperviscd life of a university frosh. So there I was with two of my good friends taking a taxi to downtown Kitchener, determined to go through with it. As I walked into the tattoo and piercing shop, I suddenly got that

I suddenly got that TVhat the hell am I doing?” feeling. clue what it was about the stainless steel barbell type apparatus which drew me, but I wanted it none the less, The ‘operation’ was a big step, so I decided I would give it a year waiting period. Actually, the lengthy waiting period was really the count down until 1 moved out of the watch-

“What the hell am I doing?” feeling. I began to reconsider what I was about to do. I mean, I don’t want to sound like a baby, but I had to really stop and think about what I was truly about to do. Putting a foreign object through your tongue is no small feat. I regained my confidence, however, and sat in the chair. The man

Tongue piercing is a safe procedure, but it can’t hurt tofmdout as much as possible before the “operation.” conducting the piercing seemed nice enough. Calming my friends and myself, he joked around with us for a while and cleared up some myths. “No,” he said, “death is a minimal risk that

SPOOKTACULAR E

very year around this time, we see scare-literature about Hallow&en and all its dangers. Many people believe that it promotes cults and that it is a “satanic glorification of evil.” Obviously the main concern that people have has to do with the messages this ritual is sending to children. Certain members of the Catholic School Board are trying to have the celebration of Hallowe’en banned from the school environment. The possibility of such a drastic measure causes one to deliberate about the role Hallowe’en plays in our culture. Although this event originated in conjunction with a Christian feast, Hallowe’en is celebrated by the vast majority of western culture. In order to decide if this ritual has negative effects on children, we must think about the effects it has on adults. Hallowe’en does not necessarily have a negative influence on children; indeed, it can have a positive influence on children, adults, and our culture as a whole. Hallowe’en began at least two thousand years ago in the form of a pagan ritual. This ritual said that once a year the dead returned and haunted the living unless they provided food and shelter for them. If someone did not give food to the dead, the spirit would cast a spell or “trick” on the person. In the ninth century, the Christian feast of AN Saints was changed to November 1 to help Christianize a

pagan time for remembering the dead. In the Middle-ages, it was believed that those who died, without being reconciled, returned to haunt you. If you forgave them, the spirits would be released or cleansed. Today, giving “trick or treaters” candy can be looked upon as a symbol of this same forgiveness or reconciliation. If parents are so concerned about the “glorification of evil” that they have assumed is equated with monsters and the dead, they should take it upon themselves to transform the meaning of Hallowe’en. A parent cannot remove Hallowe’en from their child’s mind, or from our culture for that matter. If they must be so concerned, they should give this event meaning. Why not use Hallowe’en as a chance to teach children positive things? It is true that many violent movies and television shows can have a negative impact on children, but the truth of the matter is that there is always going to be the potential for negative influences on our children. Getting rid of Hallowe’en is not going to change the level of violence in our society. It is up to the parent to ensure that their children are not exposed to the wrong messages in every situation. All of western culture celebrates Hallowe’en and the vast majority of people don’t equate this ritual with religion. However, regardless of religion, this event can be used to acknowledge that “death” is a part of our existence. It is upsetting to think that the idea of “the dead” evokes nothing more than feelings of evil,

We live in a society where the subject of death is feared and repressed. Throughout history this time was set aside to “celebrate” the dead. Being as the word “celebrate” is positive, many people have trouble equating it with the word “death”. This attitude is what separates us from the ancients. Death is a part of life and should not be ignored. If nothing else, Hallowe’en invites us to talk about death and maybe even change the way we understand it. Hallowe’en seems to be an ancient ritual that has lost its meaning. This does not mean we should attempt to rid it from our culture. Besides representing society’s attitudes towards death, this event plays another important role in our culture. Every once in a while the human mind needs release from the social conformities of our culture. Dressing up allows us to “get out of ourselves.” In a culture that has very little room for this kind of escape, Hallowe’en can have a good effect. People should not take things so literally by saying that this celebration glorifies evil. Rather, they should turn it around and see it as a celebration in which we remember the dead and even spend time thinking about death in a philosophical manner. Hallowe’en is a ritual that has developed over thousands of years. It is a part of our culture whether we realize it or not and it has the potential to have positive effects on society. It is nearly impossible to erase a ritual from a culture and it would be a great loss if we abandoned Hallow&n.

could result from the piercing.” And “Yes,” he said, “ you may make some people very happy.” In a more relaxed mood, he began to discuss what exactly he was about to do. Holding my tongue out with a pair of brand new tongs, he would take a fresh needle out of a sealed plastic bag. At the count of three, he would ‘drop’the needle through the tongue and then place the jewelry in, screwing the bottom ball onto the bell. Pain was surprisingly minimal - and lasts for only a brief five seconds . As for afterwards, there is discomfort. More specifically, your tongue seems to grow monstrously. For this side effect, Advil was sug-

gested. Speech impediment is another bad effect. For the next one or two weeks, I spoke as if I had just come from receiving a filling at the dentist. But as a healthy girl, the biggest drawback was the liquid diet, real food would be a far off dream for a couple of days. As an added bonus, I began to carry my own personal bottle of Original Listerine on campus for use after consuming anything. On the upside, I have now joined the elite group of brave souls who can boast proudly of having actually gone through with this new trend. Playing happily with my new age baby soother, I answer the questions of the many students intrigued by its unparalleled magnificence.

Prehtaz~~en;lt.J00sndp~ace

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Pumpkin Seeds 1 2 Tbsp, Butter Seasoning Salt

t b~ngsheetSnrrven,Waitfor&~llt minutes. Pull out the sheet, flip the seeds, mix them around and add 1 some more seasoning salt, Put the sheet back into the I oven until they reach the desired

then enjoy.

What you need I

crispness, What

you do

Take the pumpkin seeds out of your pumpkin and place on 1 a paper towel and dry for 24

Wait

Best witches Hallowe’en!

until they cool and

I for

a spooktacular

1 t

Imprint,

Friday, October 29,

ForGodso lovedthe world, that hegave bison/y begufen Sun, that whosoever beEieveth in him should not perish, but have eueriustingjife. flohn 3:16)

hus far we’ve examined the phrase, “For God so loved the world,” and before we continue, I’ll briefly summarize the things which have been mentioned. “For” alerts us that this sentence is a further explanation of the previous one, which says that, “as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of man [the Lord Jesus Christ] be lifted up [on the cross].” “God” tells us the originator and source of this love. 50” signifies the extreme magnitude of God’s love as evidenced by the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ on the cross. “Loved” speaks to us of the divine compassion shown on undeserving sinners. Finally, “the world” reminds us that God’s love extends to each and every person. Now let us continue with “that.” “That” is a little structural word which helps in the organization of the sentence content. It is connected with %o” in a cause-effect manner. “So” introduces the cause - God’s love -and “that” presents the effect he gave. People often say, “I love you,” but what do they mean by that ? Normally, they mean something like, Y’m really attracted to you,” or “I have strong feelings for you.” Are these things really love? Certainly the word love has

s prime-time ready for a real gay relationship? My instincts tell me yes, but as I look over the new series for the fall I am sadly disappointed. Of the forty new shows this year, only one features a gay character. (Oh Grow Up, in case you’re interested.) The reason I emphasize the couple aspect is simple. One gay person cannot effectively communicate to the world what it is like to be gay. A couple, however, can share dialogue, and affection. Since most humans don’t stay single their whole lives, it’s more realistic, So if there aren’t any new shows that will explore gay relationships fully, I must turn to current shows. There are many shows with insecure gay characters: Waylon Smithers from The Simpsons, The Ambiguously Gay Duo & Gary from Saturday Night Live, and Mr. Garrison from South Ptirk. I love these shows asmuch as everyone else, but insecure gay characters are not going to have a relationship; not to mention they portray gays in a negative light. Yes, these characters are funny, but I’m looking for well-adjusted, positive role models here. (It is worth mentioning that in most shows, the gay character is insecure or closeted.) By far, the queer-positive show with the highest ratings is Friends. The lesbian couple, Carol and Susan, have done an excellent job at

I999

FEATURES

come to be used in these ways, but true love is a lot more than these things. Real love involves genuine care and concern for someone and while feelings may be involved, they are just a by-product, not Iove itself. The key thing to notice is that wherever true love is involved, action is present. If you claim to love someone, but don’t do anything to demonstrate that love, all you’ve got is a bunch of empty words. In fact, some people pressure their boyfrienddgirlfriends into having sex with them by using this reasoning. They’re mistaken about how love is demonstrated, but they’ve realized that true love will result in action. Since true love consists of having genuine care andconcern for someone, that love will be demonstrated by doing things for the other person’s good. As humans, we can only do so much, but God, with His infinite power, was able to show His love by doing exactly what is in everyone’s best interests -He gave His Son. That is what was necessary to pay the price for your sins and to save you from eternal torment. Will you trust inGod’s salvation? Please feel free to e-mail me at wchagey@uwaterloo.ca or come to a gospel meeting held every Tuesday from 6:00-6~4.5 p.m. in SLC 2133 to hear more about God’s salvation.

portraying a gay relationship, in my opinion. My biggest gripe is that the characters aren’t featured often enough! (It is also the only show with female gay characters, which is unfortunate.) I shouldn’t complain because no other show to my knowledge has explored the issues of gay families. The characters are secure, committed to each other and affectionate. They are really excellent role models for those of us who intend on having a long-term relationship and caring for a child. Ofcourse, the serieswhichtout isl>uwson’s Creek. Jack McPhee {played by Kerr Smith, who is straight in real life) came out last season and it’s about time for him to start dating. When this happens, you can expect the following: I) The highest ratings for Dawson’s ever when Jack kisses another guy, 2) The thoughtful and careful portrayal of a gay relationship and 3) An examination of the many, many issues that affect gays. I’m still disappointed that the new teIevision lineup is partial to heterosexuals. However, I’m still hopeful that this year will have a handful of positive gay scenarios. The new series might be good, but it’s anyone’s guess. There is no doubt in my mind that Dawsosl’s Creek will be the one that will make a lasting impression.

In the Frosh issue of Imprint, there were some small factual errors with the articles concerning WV’s co-operative education system. They are as follows: 1. It was stated that co-op students “need a combined total of 12 weeks of employment to pass a work term.” In actuality, you only need eight to ten weeks of employment to pass a work term. 2. For the Faculty of Science, it was mentioned that “all of your work reports are handed in to the Co-op Department.” The truth is that all Science work reports go to the Science Undergraduate Office. timeline.” In 3. Finally, it was stated that “co-op . . . does not have a nice linear, predictable actuality, according to the Co-op Department, the timeline is mostly predictable. We regret any difficulties these statements caused for any students.

n tribute to Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a student from Conestoga College, NicoleJenkins, arrangedafashionshowat Fed Hall. All proceeds from this second-annual ev,entwent to Breast CancerResearch, Thus,

everyone involved freely donated their time and effort.The contributing stores were all from Fairview Park Mall, but Benetton was the key contributor. Organizers estimate they raised over $2,00Ofor theircause.

Baptist?” “Baptist!” “Get out! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?” “Baptist Church of God!” “Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?” “Reformed Baptist Church of God!” “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 19152” “Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 19 l.S!” said the man, with tears of joy in his eyes. At that the onlooker screamed, “Die, heretic scum!” and pushed him off. Actually, that particular joke raises an interesting point regarding the utter inanity of religion . , +but I can lay off for one week. Let the hilarity continue! A priest decides one day to innocently go fishing with a local fisherman. He quickly lands a huge fish and the fisherman exclaims, “That’s a big son of a bitch!” The priest begins to scold him for his harsh language, but the crafty fisherman replies, “Uh, no, that’s what its called. . . a Sonofabitch!” The priest acknowledges his mistake and returns to the abbey. He says to a nun and a bishop, “Look at the Sonofabitch I caught!” and is reprimanded fur his language until he explains that this is the fish’s name. The other two nod in understanding, and agree to clean and cook it for dinner. They are lucky enough to be honoured with the pope’s presence as the fish is served, and they all enjoy a delicious dinner. The pope asks where they got such a fine fish. “I caught the Sonofabitch!” says the priest. “I cleaned the Sonofabitch!” chimes in the bishop. “And 1 cooked the Sonolabitch?” cries the nun. The pope looks around at the three of them, smiles broadly and says, ‘You know, you fuckers are all right!” Email to: ewalle@engmail.uwaterloo.ca.

n Jerusalem, and throughout the Holy Land, a great cry rang out in many different tongues. “The Messiah! The Messiah has retimed!” It was true. Jesus Christ, King among Kings, the Son of God, was back on Earth, baby. Members of all religions marched in throngs to his opening address, the non-Semites admitting perhaps their logic on the whole matter had been a bit dodgy. uMy friends, my people!” JC opened joyously, “I come to preach my father’s word!” The jubilant crowds cheered. “Truly, there is a place in the Heavenly Choir for the good and righteous!” More raucous applause. “And truly, the meek shall inherit the Earth!” Some discrete clapping. This went on at length, until one blackclad individual cried out, “But Jesus, what about the atheists?” Jesus puzzled for a while, then spoke thusly, “Atheists? That’s ridiculous, there’s no such things as atheists.” Ha ha, I kill myself. But seriously folks, I thought this week we would examine the lighter side of atheism/religion, and perhaps throw in a pope joke for good measure. This is mostly because such an endeavour will require less effort than my usual rambunctious slander and those pesky midterms lurk all around me. A man was walking across a bridge one day, when he saw another fellow standing on the edge, about to jump off. He ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!” “Why shouldn’t I?” the distraught man replied. “Well, there’s so much to live for!” “Like what?” “Well, are you religious or atheist?” “Religious.” “Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?”

“Christian.” “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ?” Vrotestant.” uWow, me too! Are your Episcopalian or

Giving other teams the blues Wur~ors

he women’s field hockey team resumed action last week after a brief hiatus over Thanksgiving. The break may have been exactly what the ladies needed as they earned big wins against some impressive opponents. On October 16, the Warriors traveled to Toronto to take on the U of T Varsity Blues. The Toronto squad has had an exceptional season, up to this point, outscoring their opponents 5 8-3. That was until they met up with Waterloo. The Warriors were seeking vengeance for the last time these teams met, where the Warriors dropped the game 1-O. Right from the start of the match, the Warriors were putting on the pressure. On a penalty

Warriors keep theopposition at bay.

now number six in Canada

corner, Beth Nordemann banged a shot from the top of the circle at the goalie, who managed to get the initial stop, but Joanne Fernandez was there to clean up for the rebound. On another short corner, Nordemann again hit the ball hard from the top, this time able to find the holes in the defense. The Warriors led 2-O at the half. Late in the second half, Fernandez added another goal off a breakaway shot from the top of the circle. The Blues tried to retaliate, managing to knock one past goalkeeper Leslie Alexander near the end of the match. Their efforts were too little, too late, Waterloo came out on top, 3-1. This was the first loss of the season for the first place Blues. Alexander and co-captains Amy Adair and Irene McConville put in notable defensive performances, shutting down some of the top scorers in the country. On Sunday October 17, the Warriors had it a bit easier, taking on Trent and McGill. In the McGill match, Fernandez finished off the nice play of rookies Robin Leslie and Michelle Schultz by knocking in two in the first half. In the second half, Leslie added one of her own and Erin Morton furthered the assault on the McGill squad, banging in two more past the defense. The game ended with the score Waterloo 5) McGill 0. Alexander and rookie goalkeeper Kim Trudgeon earned the shutout. In the match against Trent, the Warriors continued their domination of the weekend, earning a 6-O victory. Adair and Schultz scored once each while Fernandez and Leslie showed the Trent defense who’s boss, by each adding two. Once again, Trudgeon and Alexander earned the shutout. Tuesday, October 19, at University Stadium, the women faced fourth place Western. The Warriors controlled the game from the start, playing most of the game in Western’s half of the field. The first goal came off a tip from Fetnandez, with some

help from Erin Morton making the initial drive on net. Nordemann banged home the next goal on a shot from a short corner, to bring the score to 2-O at the half. Not to be outdone, speedy winger Robin Leslie added another for a 3-O victory. Wendy Moffat, Adair and McConville put forth nice defensive play. Alexander earned shutout honours. Sunday October 24, the Warriors took on teams from Queen’s and Carleton at home. In the first match against Queen’s, the women dominated the play getting goals in free play from Fernandez, Adair, Laurie Good and Julia Morton. Erin Morton added another on a penalty stroke. The game ended with Waterloo 5, Queen’s 0. Defensive stalwart Alexander chalked up another shutout.

These victories have moved the Warriors into second place in the OUA In the Carleton game, the offense was led by Fernandez, earning her first hat-trick of the season. Leslie Culverson, Dawn Culverson and Julia Morton were credited with the assists. Once again, Alexander earned the shutout. After these two weeks of play, Fernandez and Leslie are Rio of the top scorers in the CIAU, with 19 and 14 goals, respectively. These victories have moved the Warriors into second place, behind U of T, as they head into the OUA tournament at York this weekend. Currently the Waterloo Warrior women are ranked sixth in Canada which is no small feat,

Football Warriors make it to the playoff sage

n Saturday, October 23, the Waterloo Warriors stepped onto the cold, wet field of University Stadium to face the Guelph Gryphons. In a game too close for comfort, the “heartbreak kids” beat the Gryphons byascore of 17s 15. Waterloo’s victory over Guelph cliched their place in the playoffs and sent Guelph home with the realization of having to wait another year to-try again for a playoff spot. Jason Tibbits lived up to his reputation as he played an excellent game and was an integral part in Waterloo’s victory. I-Ie had the first four tackles of the game and he constantly managed to be in the right place at the right time. He’s not a third time All-Canadian athlete for nothing. Waterloo’s linemen were dwarfed by Guelph’s 1.98 metre, 177.8 1 kilogram defensive captain Jeremy Oxley. It took two of Waterloo’s biggest players to slow him down to walking speed. “Ox” made an impression on the Warrior offense by delivering crushing blows throughout the game. Mike Bradley has the bruises to prove that an Oxley tackle was usually followed by him sitting on his victim. Guelph had a total of fifteen points, five of which were given up by Waterloo safeties and single points. Guelph kicker Norman Nasser hit a 37-yard field goal early in the game to tie the score 3-3. Tony Riha had previously made a B-yard field god. Guelph quarterback Mike Ruthuen ran a touchdown in himself after a perfectly executed fake handoff left Waterloo’s defense scrambling for the wrong man. During the second quarter, Eddie Kim let down his teammates and every Waterloo fan that showed up to support him. He was thrown

out of the game by the referees

after loosing

his cool on the field and attacking a Guelph player who had pushed him after the whistle was blown. It was disappointing to see such an admired player leave the game in such a dishonorable way. With only a few seconds left in the first half, Chris Krebich

Wilkinson, with mighty pigskin, slaystheGryphons. was completely wide open when he caught a4O-yard throw and ran the ball all the way for a touchdown. It was Krebich’s only catch of the day and it was for a magnificent 75 yards. Warrior momentum picked up after the spectacularly blocked punt by Mike Laporte. Mike had been rushing the punter all day and had cost the team one penalty earlier for “roughing the kicker.” He made it up to the team on this play. As the ball was snapped to Nasser, Waterloo fans chanted “Block that kick!” Their prayers were answered as they watched Laporte race towards Nasser and throw himself in front of the ball as it left the toe of the kicker. Mike recovered the ball and with the support of Jason Tibbits, made it forward another 10 yards before being tackled. It was a great play that didn’t result in any points, but got the Warriors fired up for the rest of the game - some&ng they needed badly during a very cold and wet afternoon. Mike Bradley pulled ahead of the rest of the CIAU in yards rushing after running 160 yards on 25 carries. A poll on the CIAU website (http://www.ciau.ca) had Mike ranked as one of the top 3 running backs to make a big difference in the CFL.

Saturday’s game explained why he has earned this honor as Waterloo’s star player ran a 66-yard sprint late in the fourth quarter, Fans watched and counted four as the number of times he should have been tackled, but was saved by his cat-like agility. This run put the ball on the four-yard line. Wilkinson handed off to Bradley on the next play and watched him score another Waterloo touchdown, making it 17-13 for the Warriors. Once again, nothing hurt the Warriors more on the field than themselves. The Warriors lost a total of 159 yards on 14 penalties, three of which totalled SO yards. If they expect to win against more competitive teams, they are going to have to play a more disciplined game. In the last few minutes of the game, Guelph had a good chance to score a touchdown and pull ahead of the Warriors as a Waterloo penalty gave them a first down with only five yards to go. However, Guelph was not prepared for the strong Waterloo defense. Waterloo held the? off on two passing plays as the stress level on the field elevated from worried to panic. Gold and black fans watched as Guelph’s final drive failed and the ball rolled off the fingertips of receiver Jason Stoter. The clock read 0% and it was Waterloo’s ball on their j-yard line. After calling the play, Wilkinson retreated into the end zone and stalled for as much time as he possibly could before finally giving up a safety to make the score 17-15. It was a genius play on Waterloo’s part. Let the clock run down and give up the two points so they can kick off ehe ball to Guelph’s special team and spend enough time away from the end zone before Guelph has a chance to score. It worked. With only six seconds left in the game, Guelph’s final play was a SO-yard pass to wide receiver Jason Stoter who missed the reception. Waterloo finally won their first game since York. Check out the newly updated Warrior webpage at http:// w-ww.warriorfootball.uwaterloo.ca. Next week, the Warriors take on local rivals, the Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks. Kickoff time will be 290 p.m. at University Stadium. Come out to support the Waterloo Warriors in the final game of the regular season.

Imprint,

SPORTS

Friday, October “29, I999

Despite injuries, Cressman’s squad splits weekend games

ave Cressman’s injuryriddled Warrior ice-hockey club began their quest for excellence with two road games last Friday and Saturday. The games were home openers for the Brock Badgers and the Ryerson Rams, respectively. Unfortunately, Waterloo was only able to spoil the home opener of Louie Carnevale’s Rams, but the Warriors must be given credit for how hard they worked in both games. And once the Warrior ice-hockey squad recovers from the “injury bug,” there is no telling how far Cressman’s men can go in their quest for the OUA crown. October 22 was the first regular season game for both the Waterloo Warriors and Murray Nystrom’s Brock Badgers. The gme, held at Thorold Community Arena, was to be a test for both the revamped Badger squad, Waterloo’s Ryan Unwin (who took the reigns when Joe Harris graduated) and Brock’s rookie goaltender Ryan Miles. In the first period, both teams were slow to organize an offence. It was not until three minutes had passed in the game when Kent Nobes made the first shot on Unwin. Five minutes after the first shot, the Badgers badgered Unwin, who proved to be equal to the challenge, never yielding a goal. It was only after II minutes had passed that Waterloo had its first shot on Miles, which was an easy floater from Mike Murphy. Overall, it was quite a defensive first period, with not a single goal scored. The second period was a close replica of the first, but with one major difference; both Unwin and Miles were solid between the pipes, guarding the net from errant biscuits. Mike Murphy, Ryan Painter, Joe Kinney and Sean Fitzgerald all had excellent chances on Miles, but each was turned back by the rookie. On the other hand, Kent Nobes, Tim Rivest and Peter Lough had many opportunities to score on Unwin. Someone had to give. With 3 :2O left to go in the period, Painter received a nifty pass from Mike Nixon and slipped the puck past Miles for the first goal of the game. Fifty-four seconds later,

Ryan Tocher had an excellent chance to score, but the left post robbed him of the chance to tie it up. The third period would see the downfall of the Warriors due to fatigue, a penalty and the tenacity of the Badgers. For the first three minutes, Waterloo had a two-man advantage thanks to penalties against Derek Sylvester and Ryan Tocher. Unfortunately, the penalty killing unit for Brock constantly denied Waterloo a goal. In the 14th minute, Warrior Phil Willard took a cross-checking penalty after downing Rivest, but

Yfter I kick some ass, after I skate the bags off my players and after I cut a couple of them, then we’ll see.” he would only spend one minute in the box as Matt Osbourne blasted a laser shot that Unwin just could not save. Later, with 7% left in the game, Mike Grimes managed to sneak another goal past Unwin on the glove side. For Brock, their lead would last only 16 seconds, with Sean Fitzgerald nailing a one-timer from Mike Nixon at the face-off. The winning goal would come from one Ryan Lounsbury, who stunned even the Warriors when he deflected the puck past Unwin’s shoulder. Down one goal, the pressure was on to score the tying goal. With 73 seconds left in the game, Cressman pulled Unwin from the net and brought in the sixth man. While the tactic put immense pressure on the Badgers, it was all for naught. Brock won this match three goals to two. Murray Nystrom, coach for the Brock team, knew what to expect from the Waterloo Warriors. “We talked not of specifics, but in our perspective, we had to respect Wa-

terloo. Our goal was to match them in skill,” Nystrom stated when asked about the tactics Brock would employ in defeating Waterloo. Nystrom also said, “Basically, there were some timely saves by our goaltender.” The Brock coach also praised his front line, which included Chris Jackson, Ryan Lounsbury and his penalty killing squad, who were especially effective in shutting down a two-man advantage the Warriors had in the third period. The next day, Waterloo was ready to take on the Rye-High Rams at the legendary St. Michael’s Arena. For this game, Cressman decided to put Jason Willard in net while Carnevale chose Steve Bewley. In the first period, Waterloo went at the Rams like dam busters. During the early part of the first period, the Warriors bombarded Bewley with shots. Luckily for the Rams, Bewley, baked up by a strong defence, was more than ready for the Warriors. Waterloo was forced to play more defensively midway through the first period, thanks to penalties against Sean Fitzgerald and Brandon Moffatt. During a brief two-man advantage for the Rams, Charlie Parsons (alumnus of the KitchenerWaterloo Braves lacrosse team) and David Anthony would test the mettle of Jason Willard. Thankfully, Willard passed with flying colours. There would be only one goal this period. With three minutes left, Mike Nixon capitalized on a Ryerson error and placed the puck behind the goal line. The second period proved to be the best period for Carnevale’s squad. Unforunately for the Rams, Waterloo obtained the first of three twoman advantages in this game 90 seconds into the period. The first of the two-man power plays came from John Brown and Mauricio Alvarez, who foolishly roughed up Waterloo players in the first two minutes of the period. Alas, Waterloo not only failed to take advantage of the generous offer by the Rams, but also allowed a short-handed goal by Brent Spagnol in the fourth minute of the game. Forty seconds later, Brandon Moffatt would have a brief respite in the “sin bin” after holding a Ryerson Ram, a rest that would last only 39 seconds

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due to John DiBattista’s goal. Ryerson would have the lead for over 13 minutes, giving the Warriors much to worry about; however, the Warriors did not need to fear. With 25.5 left in the period, Mike Murphy shot the puck from the blue line and scored a beautiful goal. After two periods, Waterloo and Ryerson had two goals apiece. Up to the 11th minute of the third period, Carnevale was quite happy with the Rams performance. In fact, Ryerson’s coach was ecstatic when Greg McMillan scored on a rifle shot that totally fooled Jason Willard. But once Jason Kotack got a dumb penalty for interference, Waterlou took over. Phil Willard got a shot off that was so hard, the puck bounced off the back post of the net and flew back out. The killer for Ryerson, though, was a two-man advantage given by two blockhead penalties from John Brown and Greg McMillan in the 12th minute. Mike Devereaux and Ryan Painter made Ryersdn pay with two wonderful goals to bring light to the Warriors’ power play outage. Sean Fitzgerald completed the scoring with an empty net goal with two minutes left in the game. Peter Hoffe ended the game rather ingloriously with a five minute major for high sticking. With 19 minutes worth of penalties in this game, Hoffe earned the “Good Goonsmanship Award” hands down. After the game, Dave Cressman was quite happy about the result. “I would call this a great gritty effort,” he stated , “It was very satisfying in

UWSKICLUB l

WARRIOR HO&Y ..

Friday,October 29,1999 vs Laurentian Voyageurs, 73 PM, Columbia IcefieldArena i Sunday October 31,199 vs York Yeomen, 2~00PM, Culwnbia Icefk~d Arena c

WATCARD

WARRIORFIELDHOCKEY 7

the way that we were making the plays.” Cressman also added, “To be down the men we were due to injury, I can’t say enough about this team.” Cressman praised both Jason Willard, who shut Ryerson down, and Phil Willard with his great goal. If there is anything Cressman said that the teams must workon, it is the power play. On the other end of the spectrum was Carnevale, but unlike Cressman who was disappointed when Brock defeated them the day before, Carnevale waslivid. “It came down to bad penalties by selfish veteran, players. We had a solid game with 11 minutes to go, then two or three veterans cost us the game.” But Carnevale was not so harsh about Bewley or his rookies. “Bewley had a very solid game tonight.” Carnevale also said that the rookies did a good job, but went on about these selfish veterans. His plans are, “After I kick some ass, after T skate the bags off my players and after I cut a couple of them, then we’ll see how we do. Some guys will cry the blues, but so what?” Waterloo will have their home opening on October 29 against the Laurentian Voyageurs at the Columbia Ice Fields. Game time is at 7:30 p.m. Halloween will see, at the Columbia Ice Fields, the Warriors having a scary encounter against the gruesome 199 8 OUA finalist, theYork Yeomen. Game time for this frightening match is at 2:OO p.m. So, come join us for a couple of great games.

l Tournament takes placeSundayNov.14at theWaterlooTennisClub l Register by Tuesday, November 9 in PAC2039 + A&B&isions~4matchesguaranteed~$10tgst/person

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trip forstudents. Comeout tothemeetingformoreinformationandto signup {andmaybesxnefreefood)!

SPORTS

Imprint,

Friday,

October

29,

1999

It takes bulls of leat ler to play rugby

he women’s rugby team played host to York last Saturday in their final regular seascngame. Once again, the weather was poor but the ladies didn’t let it stop them. The cold and rain just seems to make the team stronger and York didn’t stand a chance. Every Warrior came to play hard

and the scoring began with a penalty kick in the first few minutes of play. Once the Warriors began scoring, they didn’t stop. Heather Moyse contributed the first Warrior try and added two more as the game progressed. KerriWebb and Katie Cook had the play of the day sucking in a lone York winger to create and overlap, sending Katie through the twentytwo and into the end zone. Katie

Working as a team, Waterloo whips theyeowomen.

added another try later in the game and was voted MVI? Kerri also added 13 extra points on converts. Also scoring from the backs was Annette Vieira who had two trys on the day. The backs, however, weren’t the only ones to show their speed and scoring ability. Amanda Husk and Becky Shaw were fierce on kick returns. Trish Green and Chrissy Gordon, as flankers demolished the York fly-half off every strum and pushed York’s eight-man back on every pick. Chrissy and Trish also showed their speed and ability to run . with the ball numerous times throughout the game. Chrissy was able to score her first varsity try when aYork ball was fumbled in a line-out andlandedin the endzone. With the coaxing of her teammates Chrissy realised diving on the bail would result in another Warrior try, and she didn’t waste another second. Trish Green also added a try for the forwards. Janna Gillick, playing second

row, gained her first try of the season ’ later in the second half. Sara Brown at g-man, Eliza Waddell at second row and Jocelyn Burkhart at prop contributed to the win with excellent efforts in all the strums, line-outs and rucks. York didn’t stand a chance. Any time they dared to venture into Warrior territory, Kate Longpre quickly kicked the ball out of the Wateriao end, and another Warrior drive began. The Warriors were able to sub in all of their players, and when the subs ran out, the team played with 14, still managing to stay inYork territory. Despite the number of injuries to starters throughout the season, its clear this team has great depth. Every player is willing to step up and make sure this team continues to win. With great support on the wing by Sydney Richardson and another solid effort by Allison Krokoszynski at strum half, the Warriors demolished York in a final score of 63 - 0.

WaterlootowersoverYorkagain. The women’s rugby team finishes the regular season with a record of 7 - 1 - 1. The next Challenge for the Warriors will be this Saturday in a semi-final match against Western. Game time is 2:30 p.m. in London.

Basketball. begins with hard split EMILY

Saturday, October, 30 at 2:00 p.m.

COLLINS /mprint

he Warrior women’s basketball team won their first game of the season on October 15, in an exhibition game against the Carleton Ravens. Earlier that week Waterloo played their first game against Toronto and lost 73-55. Gaining an early lead against Carleton, the Warriors dominated the court throughout the entire game and ended up defeating the Ravens 5341. Though Carleton put in a hard fight, coming up from behind in the second half to trail by one point the Warrior women stepped up their defense and stayed ahead. With starting point guard Kristen Eisner absent from the game, rookie point guard

Casie Kergan was substituted in her place, but was injured during the first half. Faced with adversity, Nicole Consitt stepped forward to fill the role and kept the team on their toes for the remainder of the game. Though the team’s offensive play wasn’t up to usual Warrior standards, forwards Leslie Mitchell and Meghann Clancy sunk a couple of key shots to keep the Ravens in check. Lead scorers for the game were Leslie Mitchell with 12 points and Melissa Berg with six points. Head Coach Tom O’Brien was pleased with the overall effort of the team, but felt they played harder during their game two days before against Toronto, When asked about his expectations for the upcoming season, he commented that he feels the team has the potential to make it

into the top four of their division. Falling one point short of coming fourth last year, O’Brien feels that the team has “much more depth this year, ” being able to play up to 12 people, a strength that “holds well for the future” when the team gets into league games. To prepare for the season the team has been practicing since the third week in September, five days a week for two hours each day. The team has also been doing weight lifting and fitness work. O’Brien says that the team has probably worked harder physically this year than they ever have and he feels the team is in better shape this year to battle opposition. The team played earlier this week against York and will travel to play in a tournament at Winnipeg this weekend.

Warriors sweep three of four relays At University

Stadium

Adults: $6.00 Students & Seniors: $4.00 Under 12: Free Pre-game celebration with the Budweiser Big Rig begins at , 12:30 p.m. at U.niversity Stadium For advance ticket sales contact Agnes at 884-0710, ext. 2184

ast weekend, the Warrior swim team travelled up to Sudbury to compete against Laurentian and McMaster. After the long drive up and a quick stop at the hotel, the Warriors headed down to the pool for the first part of a double header. Rookie Jen Sweny swam some tough events and placed second in the 400 metre Individual Medley (IM) and third in the 200m fly. Last year’s rookie sensation MelissaThomas finished second in the I OOm free and third in the 1OOm back. Captain VaI Walker placed third in the 400 IM, while Lindsay Dennis placed a strong third in the 100m free. The women’s relay (Dennis, Walker, Sweny, Thomas) swam to victory in the 4x5Om medley relay, topping McMaster for the first time in awhile. Sudbury native Pete Londry raced to victory in the 400m IM while men’s captain H.J. Rohmann swam to a third place finish in the 200m breaststroke. Alan Lee charged

his way to second place in the 5Om breaststroke. The men’s relay (Ian Washbrook, Londry, Kurt Rohmann, Grahame Jastrebski) placed third in the 4xlOOm freestyle relay. After the first day of competition, the Warrior women were leading Laurentian 90-75, but were trailing McMaster 11 l-55. The Warrior men were trailing Laurentian 90-70 and MacMaster 111-55. On Sunday morning, the Warriors were once again ready for some serious swimming and 1ooking to add to their point totals. With the win on Saturday, the women’s 4xlOOm medley relay (Dennis, Walker, Sweny, Thomas) were pumped to topple Mac again. The Warrior women swept both relays, topping McMaster in the 4xlOOm and once again in the 4x50m free (Thomas, Walker, Christy Bell, Dennis). The women managed to take three of the four relay events over the weekend. Jen Sweny was once again busy racking up the points with two second place finishes in the IOOm fly and 1 OOm breaststoke, while Melissa Thomas had two third place finishes

in the 5Om and 200m freestyle. Both Val Walker and Lindsay Dennis swam strong races to finish third in the 200m IM and third in the 200m back, respectively. Courtney Mitchell sprinted her way to second place in the 50m backstroke. On the men’s side, Grahame Jastrebski powered his way to a second place finish in the 1 OOm breaststroke and Kurt Rohmann, not to be outdone by big brother H. J., won the 200m IM and placed second in the 200m freestyle, less than a second behind the winner. With the relay victories, the WomenbeatLaurentian 192-139 but lost to MacMaster, 219-113. Scores for the men were Laurentian 198, Waterloo 134 and MacMaster 225, Waterloo 107. Special mention goes to Joe Linesman and Kendra Schott who swam some challenging events. The varsity swim team is looking strong early on in the season and will only get faster from here. After this great showing, the Warriors are looking ahead to Friday, October 29, as they compete against city rivals at Wilfrid Laurier University.

Friday, October 29,

Imprint,

SPORTS

I999.>

Wurriors v tee off

he Warrior Golf Team entered the OUA Championship with high hopes coming from a second place finish at the Toronto Invitational. The team had steadily improved from the beginning tournament where they finished in 11 place. This was followed by a tie for third at Guelph, a fourth place result at the Laurier Invitational and the strong performance at Toronto. The OUA Championship was hosted at the Victoria Park East Golf Course just outside of Guelph. Day one saw Warriors posting a 3 08 total (four scores) lead by an outstanding 71 from captain Jeremy Begalke. Jeremy’s score was the third best individual score of the day. Other Waterloo scores were: ScoEt Desmarais (98 OUA all-star) - 77,

The winning score was from Ottawa. Brendan Collins,- 79, Scott Cormier - 8 1 and Ian MacDonaid - 85. Waterloo’s score of 308 left the team in eighth place out of 12 competing schools but within range to capture a higher finish. After an hour and a half frost delay, the final round of the OUA Championship began. Waterloo shot

a 309 total, only one shot higher than the previous day, but lost two positions in the standings to finish tenth. Jeremy Begalke followed his fine opening round with a 77 to post

amuel Clemens once said that “Golf is a good walk spoiled by a little white ball.” If this statement is true, then there was a man who spoiled a lot of good walks. This man also made the sport of golf quite interesting, with his Tam O’Shanter hat and the traditional trousers. He was also a member of this year’s American team that won the Ryder Cup and defending champion of the U.S. Open. His name was Payne Stewart. Payne Stewart was born on January 30, 1957, in Springfield, Missouri. He has won several amateur tournaments and actually has a business degree from Southern Methodist University. Turning professional in 1979, Stewart had to wait ten years before winning his first major tournament, which was just outside Chicago, The tournament was the PGA Championships, Two years later, Payne won the U.S. Open, defeating Scott Simpson in a play-off. Later on in his golfing career, he employed a nutritionist and exercise coach to help him defeat the ravishes of time. Also, Payne set out to create his own s’tyle of golf clothes and accessories. Overall, Payne Stewart won a total of 18 tournaments, including three majors and 11 PGA events in his 20 years. He was to compete in the PGA Tour Championship in Houston this week. Unfortunately, this is not going to happen. The tragedy began on October

The level of play has never been as high. an individual total of 148 which was 14 best total in the field of 60 golfers. Ian MacDonald came back from his opening round disaster to shoot 77. Scott Desmarais shot his second straight 77 and Brendan Collins chipped in with a 78. Scott Cormier struggled with an 85. Waterloo’s two day total of 617 was disappointing, butthe competition was so close that this was only four shots from seventh place. The level of play in university has never been as high. The winning score was from Ottawa with 582 which is an average score of less than 73. Even with this outstanding play by Ottawa, the competition was very tight with Guelph second at 586, Western third at 5 88 and Toronto fourth at 589. The low individual score was Franc Tanguay from Ottawa with rounds of 68 and 73. The OUA Championship marks the end of the university golf season, concluding with the all-star teams for the 1999 season being recognized. Waterloo’s Ian MacDonald was selected a second team all-star for his excellent play in the 1999 season.

25, at 9: 19 a.m. in Orlando, Florida. Stewart was on the Lear Jet that he owned. At the time, Stewart was with Robert Fraley and Van Ardan, two of his golfing associates. The flight, which was supposed to go to Dallas, lost contact with the control tower at Gainesville, When the plane could not be reached, the Air Force began to track the plane as the ghost flight travelled into Geoqgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Arkansas, Kansas, Nebraska and finally, South Dakota. At 1:20 p.m., the plane ran out of fuel

and crashed in a small field in Mina, South Dakota. Throughout the mysterious flight path of this plane, there was understandably much quick thinking required to divert other planes running into Stewart’s jet. Stewart, Fraley, Van Arden and the two pilots died in the crash, but one suspects that they may already have died when the cabin depressurized.

The F-l& that were tracking the runaway jet said the window had fogged up and there was no sign of life in the plane. Payne Stewart now joins a list of athletes who have died in airplane crashes. Amongst those unfortunate enough to be at the wrong place at the wrong time includes famous Pittsburgh Pirate Roberto Clemente, Toronto Maple Leaf Bill Barilko, feilow golfer Tony Lema and NASCAR racer Dave); Allison. Also, several teams have died in plane crashes, such as the Za’irean football team, The Strongest (from Bolivia) football (soccer} squad and the Torino Calcio (what the Italians call soccer) Club. But the most tragic of these crashes was the 1958 one experienced by the Manchester United Football Association. Overall, eight members died. The survivors still have nightmares to this day and one Saturday in February every year, Old Trafford Stadium stands in silence to remember its fallen comrades. Payne Stewart leaves behind a wife, two children and his mother. He also leaves behind the sport that has been good to him and his family. Thus, let us have a dram o’ very fine whiskey and make a toast to this fine soul. Payne Stewart, we are going to miss you! And as the Irish Rovers would say, “May the good Lord get you before the Devil knows you’re gone! ”

We want to squ,ashYOUup! ,A

s with many great sports dynasties, there comes an end o the era of dominance. Although the fortunes of the University of Waterloo Men’s Squash Team are not as grave, a similar trend is beginning to emerge. Only two years ago, Waterloo captured the Silver Medal in the OUA, placed one member in the OAU First Team All-Stars, one member in the OAU SecandTeam All-Stars and just last year, won the OAU Individuals Championship for the first time ever in Waterloo

history. However, those days were under the leadership of Luke Fraser with tremendous help from people like Bryan Chin, Matt Arkett, and Kevin “the brick” Watson. Last year, Waterloo just missed making the playoffs by one single game. It was heartbreaking, but nevertheless, the returning veterans, like Mel MacMahon and myself have only been strengthened in our desire to make it back to playoffs, in this our last attempt. It would seem that this desire has not gone without effect judging by the results of last weekend’s West Sectional, our first tournament of

the season. Despite a new revamped team, Waterloo still managed to come in second place with some astounding victories from our new players. Dave McIntire and Adam Spencer pulled through with a victory against McMaster at the number two and three positions. A noteworthy achievement given that last weekend was a first tournament experience for both of them. Corey Martella, a promising young rookie proved to be a strong anchor with crushing victories over McMaster and Brock in the number six position. Mel and I also came home with wins against M&aster and Brock in positions

Badminton sturt s strong I

he varsity badminton team got their regular season underway on the weekend, playing the first West Sectional tournament, hosted by the University of Guelph. The team played a ‘tie’ - a best of eleven set of matches -against each of the other four schools in the

Western

division.

Comprised

of many

new faces this season, the Warriors got off to a great start against Brock, dumping them 1 O- 1. All 12 members of the team contributed to the win.

McMaster was the next opponent for the Warriors. Singles wins by Kenny Ng, Emily Strong, Nick Zacca, Lara Huge& Sachin Agrawal and Margaret Chen sealed the victory before the double matches even got underway, Waterloo went on to capture this tie, 7-4. The final opponent on the first day was the perennial OUA powerhouse from Western. The Warriors fought bravely but were overmatched and had to face an 11-O defeat. The final tie of the tournament saw the Warriors against Gueiph in what promised to be a tight event.

After losing several close matches, the Warriors found themselves in the hole, down by a score of 5-2. With their backs against the wall, three consecutive doubles wins by Kenny Ng and Patrick Chuong, Jennifer Mau and Wendy Danukarjanto and Nick Zacca and Phil Lam forced an 11 and deciding mixed doubles match. The team came up just short in their comeback bid, Iosing 4-5. The next tournament for the team is the first Crossover tournament during this upcoming Halloween weekend at Brock.

four and five and the 1998 UWAthletics Rookie of the Year, Sheldon Zimmerman beat A&Master, Brock and Western’s number one players. Waterloo is currently training hard for their next tournament on the weekend of November 6, where they will be pitted against the teams from the East: McGill, University of Toronto, Queen’s and Ryerson. The line up for this tournament is still undecided as the skill levels within the team are so close and the six from last weekends tournament, as well as veterans Paul Hoskins, Eric Hedges, Hyuck Kim and rookies Reza Amini, Imran Aleem and Peter Morden are

all training hard for a spot on the team. With the help of our excellent and dedicated coach, Clivea Porter we are fine tuning our strategy, adding new dimensions to our current games and perfecting racquet skills and footwork+ Waterloo’s home tournament is scheduled for the weekend of January 15 where we’ll be playing the teams from the East in the last deciding tournamentfor playoff positions. The team needs your support more than ever before, so make your way over to the PAC and cheer your Waterloo Warriors on as they strive to revive the dynasty.

Go Superfans!

Waterlocduperfans show the opposition what Waterloo spirit isdl about.

SPORTS

Athletes

Jen Warrior

of the Week

Sweny Swimming

Jen, a first-year Science student from Manotick, led the Warriors this past weekend at Laurentian. Jen is doing well in university swim.nmg competing against a strong McMaster squad and the host Voyageurs. Swimmingtwo demanding events (400 Individual Medley and 100 Butterfly) Jen came through to place seclnd and third. Jen’s times have beenvery close :o CIAU qualifying times , Jen had strong iontriburions on the 4x50 and 4x100-medley relay teams helping the Warriors finish first in Next action for Jen and the both events. Warriors is Friday, October 29 at Laurier.

The

Sheldon Warrior

Leaders of the week

Zimmerman Squash

Sheldon, a third-year Mechanical Engineering student from Newmarket, played outstanding this past weekend at the OUA West Sectional One hosted by Brock. Sheldon was victorious in all his matches, emerging from the weekend with a perfect 3-O record, As well, he has taken over the number’one spot on the Warrior Squash team. This fine squash player has an excellent shot at winning the OUA Individuals Championships held in January. Sheldon will lead the WarriorsYIovember 4-7, as the squash team travels to Toronto for the Crossover One Tournament.

Imprint Sports: breakfast of champions

Imprint, Friday. October 29. 1999 a*

Amy

Palmer

Stephen

Amy is a first-year student and an aquafit instructor. She has great enthusiasm, is always positive and constantly encourages the people in her class to keep working hard. Thanks for being a great CR leader Xmy!

Competitive

Ball

Hockey

he Campus Recreation competitive ball hockey league is off to a crazy start. In the Aleague, the powerhouse known as the Crazy Pablos is 2-0, with 3 0 goals scored and a perfect In a cuntrast of styles, spirit of competition. Team Canada, the Neu: Jersey Devils of Campus Ret, are also 2-0, winning two close games while allowing only five goals. The B league is led by Crazy Ducks, Explain This Rash, and Pregnants, all at 3-O and Tent City and the Phoebe McNug Allstars at 3- 1. The Redmen, Chicken Legs and Derelecs are also undefeated. This is obviously anyone’s league to win. In the C division, there-is a three-way tie at the top, with all teams having two wins. St. Paul’s All Stars are 2-0, and the Friendly Rehabs are 2-l. Surprisingly, the Valksters, in their crusade to revolutionize the way the game is played, are hanging in there despite going Gladiator. Hopefully down the stretch drive more teams will be inspired to play without the goalie. Keep your head up.. . you never know what you might see.

Competitive

Ice

Hockey

Campus Ret Ice Hockey is again in full stride. Leading the A division are the AHS Wizards and the XL7’s. The individual A team is also putting in a good showing as they are close behind in third place. In the B division, the Flying Kennedy’s, Dick Streeters, Auzzie Army and the Worriers are still looking to meet their rivals as they are all undefeated. The teams in the C division are well matched with BMR undefeated and Weaver’s Army, Waterlogged, The SPUC Handlers and Dominators all not far behind. The league is running smoothly thanks to the players, refs and fans, Let’s keep the spirit going. Good luck to all teams in the playoffs.

Competitive

kroomball

This season has gotten off to a great start, with eight teams competing in one league. Now that the regular season is almost finished, it is apparent that the team to beat this term is the Stallions in the Desert, who so far are 3-O and have demonstrated an amazing ability for scoring in the double-digits. Spirit of Competition has been awesome with fair play ratings being mostly perfect, only two penalties being handed out and no CRB cases. Way to go teams -keep up the fantastic

Burns

Stephen instrllcts an advanced learn to swim class for people of all ages. He is creative with his teaching methods and encourages his participants to do their best. Stephen gives 100 per cent effort and it’s apparent in his work.

spirit and good playoffs.

tuck to all in the upcoming

Slo-Pitch

Tournament

The Fall Classic came to a chilly conclusion this past weekend with the boys from Dick Street (just north of Erb) taking the division one title over Tamarack Terror and the Junk Mules edging Rock for the division two championship. Rob Green’s full out diving catch in left field (the best play this reporter has ever seen in four years of CR slo-pitch tournaments and leagues) probably saved the game for Dick Street as Tamarack had the sacks juiced with nobody out in a right game to that point. After that, the champs let the sticks loose with an impressive barrage to eventually earn a 19-I blowout win, Just as exciting was the division two final that was won on the Iast at bat of the game. Kyle Szilock’s triple cashed two ducks and Blair Snyder drove him home to cap a three run comeback for the Junk Mules for a final score of 6-5. Thanks to everyone who played on the weekend for braving the hail, rain and freezing temperatures to put on an excellent showing of slo-pitch skills and spirit.

Competitive

Flag

Football

Rain and sleet contributed to deteriorating field conditions, but that didn’t stop the Flag Football league from rolling through four rounds of playoff games this past week, culminating in an exciting championship game. In the semi-finals, the teams battled each other and the elements and strong defense proved to be the key to victory. That Hurt revved up the defense effortlessly and outscored the Spirals 20-7. With a few favourable bounces, Symphony was able to put 14 points on the board, managing to shut out a Barney offense that had been averaging over 30 points per game. Symphony then came out flat in the first half of the final. Their final opponents, That Hurt, capitalized on their soft defense and an interception prone offense to build a 20-l halftime lead. Symphony looked like an entirely different team in the second half, though as their defense held That Hurt to only three first downs in the final 20 minutes of play. That Hurt’s defense spoiled the comeback party with a clutch interception in the final 50 seconds of play to secure a 20- 13 victory.

Scratching Post‘Ws all about drama” Edgeyyet entertaining ensemble to hit town MARK

SCHAAN f?qpf.hf sfaly

ome have described her as candy-coated, others as babydoll, but a conversation with Nicole Hughes, the sappy voice behind Scratching Post, assures that not everything about the woman is sweet and nice. “I’m not gentle” says the poppy singer who, with her band, will open for Big Sugar this Friday at Fed Hail. The band is a quirky ensemble mixing the likes of Kiss and Slayerloving bandmatesMark Holman (guitar), Jeff Depew (drums) and Phil Zeller (bass) with the sweet yet raging Hughes. When asked about their collaboration Hughes admits that “it just works. I love different types of music. I love metal but I also love pop. I’m a weird one! ” She sites her influence as the source behind the unique sounds admitting that her bandmates just “love metal.” The band has begun to coliaborate more with the release of their latest album, Destrzcction oftbe Universe. The album is the group’sthird or fourth, depending on how you count. They began with a self-titled &-.+.

disc in 1995 and followed it up with a recording for Universal’s Enclave entitled%methrotuer. The disc was shelved after the band couldn’t stand it and the Enclave folded. Not upset by the whole idea, Hughes said the end of the label gave the band “lots of money” and the ability to know better the next time they’re contracted with a major label. The band is being scouted by major labels currently but Hughes didn’t want to “jinx the process.” The band has sincere-recorded Flamethrower and released it to great acclaim. Destrwtion ofthe Universe features Hughes as the only member of the original band. Hughes, who dropped out of Western after sleeping iu for an exam admits that she just “doesn’t like the whole school thing. I have a problem sitting still and with authority.” She’s decided instead to make her mark with her smooth yet aggressive vocals. She feels she stands apart from the ‘barette-wearing Lilith Fair wannabees’ with her “rock attitude. I don’t know what their problem is,” she says of the new troupe of female artists. Hughes looks forward to the day when the band has a major record label behind them. “I don’t

All herlittlebitchesareoffstagedoingthedirtywork. really appreciate the whole Indie thing. Indie rock is dead, and I’m proud to say we killed it.” The adamant Hughes suggests that the indepedent process “isn’t as rewarding as some people think, Some peo-

ple think it’s great “to do everything yourself. Doing everything yourself sucks. I wish I had a group of little bitches to do all the work” says the cynical lead-singer. Hughes hopes the fall tour with

big 5ugar will prove a rewarding experience for the band. Hughes is honest that previous formations of the band didn’t work out that weli but is confident the latest version is ready for the threemonth [our. “We actually like each other, even though I’m high maintenance”. Throughout December and January, the band will complete their campus tour. The leading diva confesses uwe’re going to find out exactly how tough we are.” Hughes’ personality and image is a paradox. The sweet-speaking lead singer is harder than nails and is adamant that the only reason her wild death-wish side hasn’t won out is because “somewhere deep inside [her] there’s an optimist.” The singer who gently belts out tales of torture and devastation in lives and relationships concedes that “it’s all about drama.” Thankfully her bandmates, in her own words, %re more chick-like than I am” making the ecclectic, funked-up sounds and image of Scratching Post all the more appealing. The band with Hughes at its helm stand to make a statement at Fed Hall and across Canadian campuses well into the new year.

FinaUy, there’s reti hope for mathies! Witnesses say “the new Al is-‘sexy’ on stage” ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic The Celotre in the Square Tuesday,

October

26,1999

MIKE HABICHER AND WENDY VNOUCEK f?nph f sfakf and spt?ciA/ fu lmpnh f

roving that he still has his finger firmly on the pulse of pop P culture, Weird Al’s “Touring With Scissors” cut into a packed Centre in the Square Tuesday night where kids of all ages-from Pampers to Depends-delighted in his irreverent music and seizure-inducing lightshow. His band-Jim, Steve, Ruben, and Jon (“Bermuda” Schwartz! )were in top form. Starting promptly at 7:3 1, comic Harry Dupe took the stage. Another time, another place, and this guy’s schtick (it’s only on King St. that “one guy walking by himself will be called ‘fag’ by 18 guys in one car”) would probably have had his audience in tears; but when you’re opening for the best-selling comedy artist in North America, the pressure’s on. Harry’s material was a little thin, but the audience, obviously in a good mood, was gracious.

Finally, after the post-opener intermission during which some local radio guy told the audience to go buy “stuff’ in the lobby, the lights dimmed, a screen lowered, and the audience was subjected to a video of “The Weird Al Show Theme” from Running With Scissors. Fortunately it was short, and finally, amidst smoke, a frantic Al (and his necessarily wireless microphone) wasted no time firing up the audience with Bad Hair Day’s “Gump.” Enter Al’s trademark “Polka accordian for Power,” starting off a run of his newest material, including “Jerry Springer” and “My Baby’s In Love with Eddie Vedder.” One of the weaker songs on RWS, the live venue really brought the latter to life. But it was the old stuff Women the audience really wanted, and “The Night Santa Went Crazy,” complete with artificial snow, warzone sound-effects, and a changed ending, drove them ape-

shit Beyond the music, the bright yellow rad-suits and futuristicglasses accompanying “Dare to be Stupid”

marvelat the size of his accordian. was the first of many almost-schizophrenic costume changes. “It’s All About the Pentiums” brought Al out in black shades, a bright silver blazer

with matching pants and a requisite giant “$% medallion. “Germs” had him writhing around a la Trent Reznor; the accompanying hot-pink lights casting a demonic sheen over his new look: sans moustache and glasses, the latter courtesy of laser eye surgery. (The new look was quite popular with the ladies. At least one woman was heard to comment, “He’s a hottie!“) To provide time for the costume changes, the sets were punctuated with endless clips of Al videos, interviews, scenes from UHF (“Badgers? We don’t need no steenkin’ badgers!“) and ’50s~style public service annoucements. ButallAlisnotmanic. To the mournfu1 strains of his classic “One More Minute,” Al finally left the stage to roam the audience, handing out boxer shorts and human sweat, his ever-vigilent bouncer (in a bright-red “Al” jacket) by his side. Continuing the classics, Al belly-

. danced his way into “Like a Surgeon,” redone to a haunting Arabic rhythm. Pianist Ruben was nothing short of disturbing as he stood there, pondering (and polishing) his cones, while Al treated the audience to a demonstration of his physical flexibility. Ten songs into the show, the problem with being Al became apparent. When you have a dozenodd hit albums spanning a decade, every fan has one fave they just baue to hear. Al’s solution: a massive medley crossing every genre he’s ever parodied, starting with “Beverly Hillbillies” (in Mark Knopfler garb) and ending with “Eat It.” (Remember those awful leather zipper-jackets? Apparently one still exists.) Mid-medley, Al demonstrated his continuing fascination with food. Never-released bits dealt damage to Celine Dion (the take-out pizza anthem, “Near, far, wherever you are/ Just call and the toppings go on”) and Alanis Morrissette (“Thank you, Pizza Hut/Thank you, Taco Bell.“) No one was safe. Al turned the Offspring’s “Keep ‘Em Separated” continued to page 26

ARTS

Wierd Al a hit continued

from

page

into a tip on laundry, Dexter and Noodles’ guitar licks translated strangely-well to accordian. Finally, Al wrapped up his “official” set with “Amish Paradise,” (obviously a tribute to KW) and “Fat.” As he and his band cleared the stage, the audience took to their feet, clapping and cheering. It was a total love-in that eventually drew a lone, dimly lit, hooded figure to the centre of the stage. As if on cue, the cheers became even louder. When the audience started to return to its seats, the hooded figure

raised his hands-the was overwhelming.

Jedi mind-fuck

Everyone stood up again, still clappiflg iHld Cheering, as the figure

ascended to his piano, prompting Al and his band to return in full Jedi robes to deliver RWS’s epic, “The Saga Begins.” It was well received, but Al knew what everyone reaEly wanted to hear and saved that for last. Tossing the heavier robes aside, he closed the obligatory encore with “Yoda,” calling on the audience to sing the chorus with him. If the Aloholics were holding back before, they let loose now for undoubtedly the high point of the entire show. It’s been said that “Weird Al” is more popular in Canada than anywhere else in the world. If that’s the case, Tuesday night’s audience didn’t disappoint, which is only fair. .

Dr.

James W. Gregg

255 King Street,

N. (at University)

WATERLOO

855UFE

(5433)

* Studentsreceive 50% off * * Headaches, stress, back and neck pain * ‘IJWHeahhPlan covers chiropractic* *Leave your Chiropractor bock at home?* I

doe&f have fo be a ‘pain in fhe n&k!”

L-!!!d

WATERLDO

It’s

Theater

BOOKS

746-6042

Waterlob

of the Arts

October 27-30, matinee October 3 I

he UW Drama department’s primary offering this season is Clark Gesner’s semi-musical adaptation of the popular Peanuts cartoon strip, You’rea Good&n, CharlieBrowtz. The script succeeds in capturing the humour of the original series without crossing the kitcsh-line, while the cast succeed in bringing new energy to their characters’ quirks and mannerisms. Loosely structured around a day in the life of Charlie Brown, Sally, Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, and Snoopy, the play’s short sketches mimic the cartoon’s format by providing rapidfire soundbytes of character and conversation, Although the characters are supposed to be young children, the majority of the humour is geared for an adult audience. From Lucy’s attempts at psychoanalysis, to Linus’ sophisticated Peter Rabbit book review, to Charlie Brown’s fears of personal failure, the play captures the latent anxiety of American culture through the skewed perspective of childhood. If you haven’t read the comics, picture a lighter-hearted Willy Loman in preschool and you’ll get the idea, Directed by Joel Greenberg, this production of You’re a Good Mm,

29, 1999

Chrzrlie Brown features a playfully minimalist set, live band and an accomplished group of actors. Trevor Martin’s portrayal of the title character contrasts innocent optimism with what is, at times, a poignant sense of vulnerablity. While Charlie Brown’s attempts to find lunchroom acceptance with “the little redheaded girl” are funny, Martin brings an eagerness-to-please to the role that heightens the fragility of Charlie Brown’s ego, Brad Goddard’s Snoopy is equally inspired and guaranteed for a laugh with the kids. Goddard’s excellent blocking morphs him into the half-human, half-canine Snoopy, cleverly supported by a mobile range

Erin Kell’s precocious yet distracted Sally has the most ‘adult’ punchlines of the ensemble, most notably in an address to an absent teacher concerning the merits of a certain hanger sculpture. Paul. Moukperian rounds out the cast with a solid performance as Schroeder, the group’s subdued musician. The cast’s comedic timing is sharp - the infrequent scenes where all the actors are onstage together demonstrate their cohesion as a group and are the most enjoyable. Moukperian’s piano scenes and Goddard’s dance sequences also feature excellent choreography. While the singing is mostly enjoyable, the. actors’ voices break a

Picture a lighter-hearted Willy Loman in preschool and you’ll get the idea of facial expressions. Watch for Snoopy’s performance of the “Suppertime” song and his vivid dream sequences. Melissa Roe turns in a snappy portrayal of Lucy, complete with vaulting ambition and the willingness to manipulate those around her. Roe’s interactions with Matt Broth’s Linus are particularly entertaining, especially during Lucy’s temper-tantrum sequence. Broth brings a steadiness to the blanket-toting philosopher, and delivers Linus’ diatribes with conviction.

little too convincingly at times for complete listening comfort. Greenberg also allows his actors’ speaking voices to rise to overly shrill levels in placesalthough reminiscent of school yards, the effect detracts from the dialogue rather than enhancing it. Overall, You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown is an entertaining show. Whether you’re looking for a break between midterms, a chance to relive the Peanuts comics, or a fun place to take the kids, it’s worth seeing.

No cash, but what a bush

’

Ave.,

October

u play, Charlie Brown

You’re a Good Man, CharIie Brown

Ob@“&

150 University

Imprint, hiday,

S student Aaron Barsky had just one thing to say after the drum circle at last Friday’s Turnkey Coffee House: “Damn, that was cool.” The Coffee House, held to raise money for Track 3, an organization that donates funds to help people with disabilities downhill ski, featured over 20 different acts that ranged from storytelling to bongo playi,ng, and included everything in between. The evening was scheduled to include a demonstration by the UW Break Dancers, but thegroup had to cancel; several key members of the group were ill, The musical section of the evening was opened by Mon Cheri, a three-member rock band that pounded out covers by the Pixies and Sebadoh. Rockcontinued to be the name of the game as the Flying Buttresses laid downa stunning cover of Tom Petty’s “I won’t back down,” and Essae and Robin played some bongo/ guitar/rap jams that featured bits and pieces of artists as disparate as Ned’s Atomic Dustbin .and Bob Marley. Even Robbie the Rock Star appeared in full rock star paraphernalia, complete with gold chains and sunglasses. Many more musical acts tookthe stage throughout the night,

giving the Coffee House more of a music festival flavour than a Coffee House feel. Despite the obvious talent of the acts that performed that evening, there was little debate about the highlight of the night. To promote the

All the style in half the time. new UW Drum Club, about 14 different drummers (the number grew after the first 10 minutes) gathered in a large drum circle bringing with them bongos, maracas, tambourines and every other kind of rhythm instrument imaginable (includingacow

bell or two). The drummers’ laid back attitudes and pounding rhythms encouraged members of the audience to join in with their own noise makers; some people even got up and danced to the pounding beats. By the time the drummers had completed their portion of theevening, everyone had long forgotten about the missing break dancers. The spoken word artists were underrepresented in number, but not in talent. Early in the show, arl unidentified storyteller held the crowd captive with his short story. Later on, Mike Conolly took the stage to regale those present with poetry and prose he had prepared. Organizer Kate Belcher ran a tight ship and had the evening stay on schedule throughout the show, while at the same time keeping the mellow atmosphere that is essential for a successful Coffee House. The disappointment of the show was the surprisingly low profit figure. The grand total being sent to Track 3 is a mere $35.05. This is quite a low number considering the amount of effort that Kate and her performers put into the evening. There is hope that the next Turnkey Coffee

House

will ahuw

an im-

provement. The date has not yet been announced, but if the drummers, break dancers, poets, authors and rock stars show up, you definitely won’t want to miss it.

Imprint,

Friday, October

ARTS

29, 1999

Spelling’s acting no nick Trick Directed by Jim Fall Princess

Cinema

ave you ever been in a situation where you and that special someone wanted to be alone but it is just not happening? That is the basic premise of the sweet new film, Trick. Gabriel, played by Christian Campbell (the brother of Neve, he looks distractingly like her), a struggling musical writer is trying to find love in the big city. On this one night however, Gabriel is looking for love, the verb instead of the noun. Enter Mark u. P. Pitoc), a go-go dancer at a local bar. The two hook up with only one problem; they have

nowhere to consummate their relationship. The film follows the two men as they try to find a place to get it on; from friend’s apartments to gay bars, the two men learn about each other and gradually build a relationship that is built on love the noun rather than the verb. Despite the less than promising premise, Trick is a charming, feelgood movie. Most of the actors are amiable and cute as required. J.P. Pitoc is great as the suave Mark who becomes less suave and more human as the night wears on. Tori Spelling is the only one whg doesn’t give a good performance in the film. She was annoying as usual, as Gabriel’s best friend who thinks she is in another movie (Object ofMy Affection springs to mind), Her character was supposed to

be annoying but have a good heart; in Tori’s hands the character was a cardboard cut out without real emotions, never mind a heart. However, even Tori SpeIIing’s scenery chewing doesn’t destroy the movie. The male leads are likable enough to make you root for their happiness. Another problem with this movie is one scene where Gabriel’s roommate’s girlfriend walks around topless for about ten minutes. It was so pointless, it brought to mind a scene from a Kids in the Hall sketch where the characters go to a ‘ground breaking’ new gay movie that features copious female nudity and cuts away when the two men so much as hoId hands. If you are looking for a sweet romantic movie that is a little out of the ordinary, you will love Trick.

Hey Mikey! He likes it! The World’s Best

Commercials of the Century Ad films Princess

RYAN

Cinema

MERKLIEY hpG7f

sta#

here was a time way back in the beginning of television, when it all was pure and innocent, No one could imagine how this new medium could be used for capital gain. Well, it didn’t take to long fur that to change. As a result of the onward march.of consumerism, the Princess was host to last week’s PresentationofThe~orld’sBRst Cornmerciuls of the Century. The feature showcased one hundred of the world’s best commercials, many bf them shocking and hilarious, from’around the world. This year’s show was somewhat different than the fan-favourite World’s Best Commercials, since it focused on the best commercials of the 20th century. As was expected, favourites from years past iike the

California Raisins or Life’s “Mikey” commercials were included. Levi’s won the “award” for best advertiser of the century that included a full montage of some of their best commercials over the years. One outstanding commercial - a hit at last year’sshow-wasa European ad for English lessons, where a typical family sings along to some American music while the children laugh in the back seat. Mom and Dad sit up front, belting out the chorus, “I want to fuck you up the ass,” as the line “Want to learn English?” scrolls gently by. Overall, it was not as good as past shows, largely because so many of the commercials were favourites from the sixties and seventies. They were obviously dated and sometimes

New theatre &

for Theatre co*

Theatre 8t Company

has submit-

from

page

hand, White demonstrated he could turn up the volume with “Anabelle,” as his and MacDonald’s full, powerful. sound resonated throughout the pub. White’s wit was also evident. When a Waterloo student asked what “Nothing At All” was about, Cicero shot back faceriously, “It’s about my relationship with Bev.” A request prompted “Until Now,” a song full of powerful imagery. White’s character has “a roman candle desire inside her” that “fights the notion to keep emotion out.” Nature metaphors were also abundant: songs were full of references to the moon, trees, sky, water and wind. “The Wind and the Rain,” a powerful call-and-answer piece with White asking intimately, “Why don’t you understand the way I don’t know what to say when I talk to you?” Gripping the mic, MacDonald re-

Despite its tendency to be street todemonstrate the popularity of obvious and certain brands condescending, ? ~~~;~a;~;; doesn’t disapadvertising, point, including greats like Apcan also be ple’s now legendary “1984”adhilarious. vertisement, and Wendy’s “Where’s the Beef?” As a result, the show proves that despite its tendency to be obvious and condescending, advertising can also be a hilarious. The World’s BestCommercials of theCentstry is a clever trip down memory lane, celebrating everything that can be good and inventive about advertising.

and teach others+ More information is availabk frcm Sc&tCarrothers at dje~besalsa@easynet,ca or 8 85 5883. feature Scott Duneaw, Fwmer Paul, Petra MacPhail, and of course, Matt Usbixne. WoodSounds - good, wood for the soul,

continued

the humour was simply too old to be appreciated. John Cleese can, however, be found in nearly three decades of advertising, selling everything from CD players for Sony, to accosting women on the

mkr&d : ., $xyers afte:n find: circlesta be a great place.twspcrimenr

day, Navember 6th. The show wilf

Cicero’s song

Totonto’sNaxth by Nxrbeast music festival, a showcase t3f musical talent and intense

schmoaze-a-thon

is re-

turtlingJune

8,P and 10. IIn it’ssixth

Barbershop singers wanted. .UWstudem

Geoff

Hunter

is louking

year, the festival is now invitingsubmissions from any and all interested musical acts. Just send in your CDs and demo tapes for reviewc The application is availableat the website

fur singers to startup a barbershop quartet. No previous experience is required; if you can carry a tune, then you’re a natural! Interested students can contact Goeff at

http://m.rrxne.com

gahunter@artsmail.uwaterloo.ca,

excruciating for some, hypnoti c for0 Wide Shut is therefore every m a Kubrick movie. Which is to say, a con masterpiece (’ -The Toronto Star.

plied forcefully, “Why do you analyze it all?” White’s strong songwriting skills were complemented by his easygoing attitude. Lighthearted plugs for his CD, OutofNowhere, were met with laughter from the mostly twentysomething audience. “Resignation” took - at least superficially -a lighter twist on his lyrics with the line “You count up all the beers / When we had no careers,” Coming back on stage for a solo encore, White showed off his vocal range with “For Me” as the shadows danced across his face and tousled blond hair, After the show, White shared some advice with Imprint on the best way to procrastinate during finals week: songwriting. It was his4A composition, “Elfman’s Personal Waterloo,” that landed him a friendship with Emm Gryner and eventually a record deal.

AR-b

OptoM

from independent

nextto OpticalIllusions.

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N. (at University),

WATERLOO

Imprint,

Outlaw

EE US Is-t FOR GLASSES zY.HATLAST!

Eye exams@vailaMe

If you love the “tear in my beer” type of music made famous by Hank Williams, then you’ll love this newest album by Hank Williams the third. If you do not like that type of music, then do not purchase this album because it will make you cry. Personally, I love country music, but I draw the line at the twangy voice of Hank Williams the third. All

Friday, October

29,’ 1999

this album

the songs remained at the same tempo, all somewhat up beat but not fast enough to dance to. His voice had a nasal sound and his tinny voice made the chords of the song rip at the air. Songs like “If the shoe fits,” and “Honkey Tonk Girls” would make the original Hank Williams roll over in his grave. In the days of the original Williams, these types of songs were good, and I don’t mind listening to Hank Williams every so often. In a musical age where there are performers like Garth Brooks and Shania Twain, the “in” thing is not to revert all the way back to country’s

roots. The frail guy who appears throughout the album booklet does not do the original Hank Williams justice. Listening to this CD can prove to be painful and it is a shame that people feel they need to copy a sound which was original to that of Hank Williams. For a new country album, this CD does not live up to the “new country” standards. If this CD, had been recorded forty years ago, it would have done quite well. As for a “rising outlaw,” the only thing that this guy did that should be illegal is record this album.

Noise! Noise! Noise! 35

King Street, N. Waterloo 888-9999

ot far from here, just an hour or so down the road, a group has been playing together regularly for about 34 years now. They’ve gone through highs and lows, played for sold-out crowds and empty rooms, and gone from being unknowns to becoming something like icons. Their catalogue of recordings has grown steadily, if slowly, and is now distributed world wide. Their original vinyl recordings from XIodd years ago are now a real find for collectors. They host their own festival, drawing bands and fans from around the world (and receiving quite a favourable review from “cool” “underground” magazine The Wire), and are playing live on the University Of Waterloo’s own radio station, CKMS, on November 5th. I’m talking about the Nihilist Spasm Band (NSB). One thing for certain about the NSB is that they are very difficult to talk about. Their sound, like Dada art, is resistant to any kind of categorization. They have remained defiantly (well, not really defiantly, but certainly consistently) opposed to any of the conventional elements that make up what we generally refer to as “music” (like scales, keys, technique, composition, or, in fact,

N ’

, wigs - nats bald caps - teeth makeuD kits - noses latex - accessories movie aualitv fanas

training). Their only technique is pure improvisation, their instruments hand-made and unique. They play LOUD, without limits or rules, and they are perhaps the most purely independent group of noise-makers you will find. Actually, NOISE is a term that has come to be associated with the NSB (it may have been there at the beginning, but I doubt it), and a movement to which they seem to have been given “godfather” status (perhaps unknowingly). They have played “live” every week since their inception, initially at theYork Hotel in London, Ontario, but for the bulk of their history at the Forest City Gallery every Monday night. While the NSB drew crowds for a period of time, there was certainly a dry spell from many years when they quite happily played almost exclusively for themselves, plus accepting the occasional invitation to perform for an audience (over the years, the list of concerts has actually grown quite long). All of this seems to have been fine for the group, who enjoy audiences but don’t require them and will gladly play for nobody. Just a few years ago, after many years of obscurity, a fellow named Jojo Hiroshige tracked down the band. He is the owner of Japanese record label Alchemy, a guitar player of note, and had heard the early NSB

records and recognized them as the forefathers of the noise that he was putting on CD under his own label. The label has since reissued the entire ‘NSB back catalogue on CD, and two recent tours of Japan have been quite successful. The group has also traveiled to New York and Chicago. As if that wasn’t enough tho NSB has now hosted two very successful festivals in their own playing space at the Forest City Gallery, which they call NoMusic. These gatherings have included artists from all over the world including Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth, Jim O’Rourke, Jojo Hiroshige, Solmania, Borbetomagus, Alan Licht and many others, The sounds made by the NSB (and the others listed here) are really best experienced live. Live Noise has an impact, textures, and force (and frequently, a sense of humour) that are difficult to capture in a recording but come across clearly in a live setting. In my experience, the complete freedom and openness of an NSB performance is great for the tired brain, and teaves you feeiing that anything is possible. CKMS is lucky to have the NSB live, playing and talking, for a good chunk of the evening, 8-11 pm, Friday, November 5th. This is a great opportunity to hear a group that will at least amaze you, and may, in fact, teave you with a smile on your face.

Imprint, Friday,

October

29,

1999

Eggs and Toast ~~>Ongm;r31.Soundtrack,

Ml&

JASEN

The.

Qf~~i~&:x3enny~ ROBILLARD

specia/ to hnpe? f Unless you are a huge fan of Hawaiian music, don’t expect to enjoy The Music of Martin Denny. For those of you who don’t know, Martin Denny is considered to be “one of the founding fathers of popular exotica music.” (Yes, the cover did say “popular exotica music. “> Believe it or not, one of the tracks on this CD (Quiet Village) became a Top Ten hit in 1959. No one can really explain why it hasn’t made a recent reappearance on the charts. . . Picture a three-piece band: piano, bass and drums. Let’s call this band Ben Folds Five. Now replace this excellent three-piece band with a five-piece ensemble consisting of piano and a whole whack of exotic percussion instruments. Add some l

occasional moaning, some sitar and for a little spice, a lot of natural and ;r-made bird calls. Oh and don’t forget the frog calls too. Truly priceTruth is the man-made bird and frog calls are good for a laugh. At least for the first couple of minutes. But then you slowly realize that you are clenching your teeth. You might start knawing on your fingernails. Soon thereafter, you’ll notice that you’re clutching your favorrte teddy * bear Binky, trying to put it out-of its misery. You just wish Binky could do the same to you. Admittedly, I haven’t seen the movie Breakfast of Champions yet. So thisreviewisabitpremature on my part. As a soundtrack, the musid will do well since it will definitely set the mood for the movie. However, it does not fare so well as a potential addition to my CD collection. If, despite my warning, you still wish to listen to this music, I suggest you wait for the movie. Chances are you’ll be running out of the theaters, screaming for mercy.

Tory Cassis The debut album from local Toronto talent, Tory Cassis, is a collection of soulful - songs written by a man who has done a lot of living. The stories behind his music range from tales of pain, new beginnings and misguided love. Cassis penned all of the lyrics, which are constantly filled with self-realizations such as “I’ve acquired this predilection for attracting the attentions ofawomanwho won’t have me”, or “I think I think too much about the past and I wear what wasn’t meant to last.” Clearly, the music has allowed this brooder to work through a lot of hrs post-adolescent angst.Anywhere but Here is crammed with many ballads, but Tory Cassis shows restraint in avoiding flowery interpretations that’s all too common in this genre. His choice to sing the songs in a simple and laid-back manner allows the sincerity of his emotion to show right through. In fact, even the melodies are an exercise in control. Any swooning violins or heartpounding percussion have been stripped away to reveal a very clear and intelligible jazz core,

The credits in the jacket reveal Cassis to.be a multi-talented musician who plays guitar, trumpet and percussion on this album, but he is also backed up by a strong group of musicians, playing everything from an electric bass to a sitar, a long-necked Indian lute. The title track provides perhaps the catchiest use of the jazz organ I’ve heard in a long while. In fact, all of the tracks grew on me with every repeated listening. Tory Cassis does a good job of building on the styJe of old jazz standards with his own personal touches, and his album evokes the atmosphere of a lounge where the singer is pouring his heart out to the audience. But for all the sophisticated songwriting on display here, the album grows a little weary by the twelfth and final track because the songs are all written jn similar musical styles and loaded with the same musing quality. The album ends on a low note with “All the Saints” and an untitled bonus track where Cassis reveals, “Can’t explain the world of pain behind this smiling mass. Well, it never hurt to ask.” With this final thought to leave behind, it is clear that rumtnation on his confused past 1s the fuel the fires up Tory Cassis’ musical inspiration. It’d be interesting to hear what kind of songs he puts out on his good days.

ARTS

This doesn’t tingle! (GJfy Nnz -@m-r

EBRAHIM

Cool! A soundtrack that contains Sozzi and The Moffatts! Now, what movie is this for? Oh, who cares, I bet with bands like that it must be agoodCD. No! Wait! Don’t do it! What happened to the good old days when people bought soundtracks because they liked the score? More and more soundtracks today have big name bands with little to no score. The Teaching Mrs. Tingle track is just another one to be added to this list. The CD contains depressing popular music by upand-coming artists that al1 happen to sound the same. Nothing about the entire soundtrack jumps out at you. Ail the songs follow the standard commercial formula. They really

don’t reflect the movie’s dark and comic theme. Nothing unique, Ilew, or experimental. It’s a pleasant li sten if you just want to relax, but personally I’d rather take a bath with a toaster.

The soundtrack starts off on a hopeful note with Strech Princess’ “Sorry” and “Tounge Tied” by Eve 6. However, the quality slowly but surely disintegrates. If you like artists

such as Kendall Payne, Sozzi and The Moffatts you’d be better off buying their CD’s, because the songs in this soundtrack are certainly not among their better offerings. I particularly disliked the songs by Tara Ma&an. And what a treat, there were- two of them! The songs were a load of superfluous lyrics set to a very depressing beat. worst of all they decide to end the soundtrack with “At !&en teen” by Tara MacLean. A song that plays to all the teenage sterer,P;>rne:; etched in our minds by the media. And Tara ingeniously adds a few of her own. If the soundtrack’:* total lack of enthusiasm wasn’t bad enough this was the straw that broke thr: cam el’s back. Even thou& she movie was a lame attejnpt ai entertainment it at least had an exciting element to it. The 3oundtrack even lacks that. All in all it was a badly i)l;- together soundtrack with little sensitivity to the audience it was mean+ for.

ARTS

Boom-dicious Ros

VAN hpffht

KRUI~TUM stafl

By now you have probably heard - or at least heard of-Toronto’s own Boomtang Boys. Their first album, Greatest Hits Volume One, is a light, fun and memorable collection of catchy _ -popsongs. Usually when someone puts out an album of greatest hits, they have already released at least a few albums. But on a comical note, the Boomtang Boys released their debut album as a greatest hits collection. Strange? Not really when you look at the songs on this album. ‘%ncing With Myself,” “Bang a Gong,” “Time After Time” and “Only You” by Billy Idol, T Rex, Cindy Lauper and Erasure, respectively. All the songs are worthy of a 1980s greatest hits collection, Reinterpreted by the production team of Tony and Paul

Grace and Rob DeBoer, these songs are nostalgic without being bludgeoningly retro. Along with the hits of yesterday, Greatest Hits Volume One has already cranked out a few hits of its own, including “Squeeze Toy” and “Pictures.” “Popcorn” is one of my favorite tracks on the album. The lyrics “Popcorn” (Wait a set - that is the only word in the whole track) explains the entire philosophy of the Boomtang Boys: light, fluffy, catchy tunes that keep you coming back for more. After all, who can resist just a little more popcorn? There are two bonus tracks on the CD. Hidden at the end isa house remix of “Popcorn” without the lyrics. The melody is so sweet you just have to hear it. The next hidden song is “Both Sides Now,” a cover of the Joni Michell tune, nicely ends out the album. If you are looking for a good party album, pick up this disc. I’ve listened to it happily, time after time.

Imprint,

Friday,

October

29,

I999

Dancing in the Ashes b

.,,.,, ,.,....,....

NICHOLAS

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tures have been pared down in favour of simpler songs, albeit the volume seems to have been cranked up to account for this. The indie rock jam “Death Trip 21” as well as “Numbsku11” bring the heavy guitar rock sound which hid behind their first album to the forefront with mixed success. The band is trying to move away from the romantic themes which permeated their earlier singles “Girl

,., 7

REMEDIOS spec/;?l to /mpflht

After endless delays, Ash’s new albumNu-ClearSotlnds surfaced on Canadian shores nearly a year after its release in the U.K. where the album reached number seven on the charts and produced three successful singles. Whentheirdebutalbum1977 came out in 1996, singer/guitarist Tim Wheeler and bassist Mark Hamilton were only 19. That album produced several hit singles, sold over 1.5 million copies internationally and plastered them all over the U.K. music press. They played five consecutive sold-out nights at London’s Astoria and became the first band to headline the Glastonbury Festival for two nights in a row. Since then, the threesome has become a foursome as 1977 touring guitarist Charlotte Hatherley has officially been added to the line-up. Originally influenced by bands like Megadeth and Iron Maiden and later by the likes of Mudhoney and Nirvana, Ash’s album can justifiably be classified as “rock and roll,” not “pop rock.” On this album, Ash’s song struc-

and “Oh From Mars, * “Goldfinger” Yeah.” Unfortunately for them, some of their strongest songs are their slower tempo songs, such as “Burn Out,” “Aphrodite” and “Low Ebb,” As well, “Jesus Says” and “Wild Surf show Ash perfecting their 2 977 melodic rock sounds. Ash’s earlysuccess seems to have

taken a toll on them as this album addresses feelings of frustration, mortality and the stresses of spending months touring. These days, Ash sings about darkness enveloping their hearts and life ebbing away. Long gone are the days when Ash sang about hanging around with Jackie Chan. On the Canadian release of NtiClear Sounds, the first three tracks “Jesus Says, ” “Wild Surf” and “Folk Song” have been remixed by Butch Vig. Despite this, the tracks are only marginally different from the original, with clearer vocals being the only really noticeable change. The real bonus is the inclusion of the extra track “A Life Less Ordinary,” recorded for the movie of the same name. Originally only available as a single and on the soundtrack to that movie, this excellent track makes the new release of the album a worthwhile investment for those who already own import copies of the album. NM-Clear Sowds, while not perfect, is a good effort. It shows some growth for Ash and hints at better things to come. Interestingly, Tim and Charlotte have recently been seen in ads for Calvin Klein joining the likes of Garbage’s Shirley Manson and Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon. Seems like they’re already well on their way to becoming the rock gods they’ve always wanted to be.

October 29 - November 13 Tuesdays - Saturdays at 8pm nightly

A new adaption.

With humour.

Scary as hell.

The Water Street Theatre Downtown

Kitchener

Tickets $16 - $25 $8 Tues. and Wed. for students! El SPAENAUR

m-1

RUSH SEATS!

company

YWCA of Kitchener-Waterloo is recruiting for a Kitchen AssIstant at Mary’s Place 3-4 hours per week. This position also provides an opportunity to develop an understanding of women in crisis in our community. Call Saundra Schmidt at 7446507. Join BUDS - a UW student, staff and faculty group that provides free tutoring and encouragement to high school students. For more informatton, email buds@calum.csclub.uwaterloo.

English Tutor Program - volunteer tutors are needed to tutor students on a one-to-one basis in written and oral English. Tutots meet students on campus for 1 term, usually 2-3 hours per week. If you have a good working knowledge of English, are patlent, friendly, dependable and would like to volunteer, register at the International Student Office, NH2080. For more info call ext. 2814 oremail darlene@watservl .uwaterIoo.ca The International Student Office needs Shadows (Student Hosts and Designates of Waterloo) for new international students arriving on campus for the Fall ‘99 term. Application forms are available at NH 2080 or call ext. 2814 or e-mail darlene@watservl .uwaterloo.ca Big Sisters - If you are 18 years of age and older and feel you can make a positive difference in a child’s life and can spare 3 hours a week for a minimum of one year call 743-5206 for informatlon HUNGRY? The UW Food Bank IS a confidential service for students in need of assistance. If you need food please come see us in StC room 2131 (ask the Turnkeys). Hours are 9:30-5:30 Monday to Friday or ext. 5992. We also need volunteers and food donations are welcome! Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of Canada needs hefp with upcoming fundraislng and education events. For info call 748-2195 or 1-800-3871470 ext. 18. YWCA of Kitchener-Waterloo needs assistance in sorting and organizing of in kind donations as they come in. You need to possess strong organizational skills and enjoy working with others. A commitment of 2-4 hours per week is required. They also need someone to assist with the unloading of the food bank truck every other Tuesday morning. You must be abte to lift heavy objects. For info call Saundra Schmidt at 744-6507. Women’s Crisis Services Cambridge is recruiting volunteers for Fail Orientation. We have many opportunities available: gain experience in Fundraising, on Reception/Crisis Lines, in Administrative Support, and more! for info call before September 20 at 653-2289. Resume builder! Friendly volunteers are needed to provide companionship to people who have Alzheimer Disease. Two hourslweekcommltment. Training program provided (with certificate upon completion). Cat1 Alzheimer Society 742-l 422. learn about a different culture while you show a new immigrant how to be a part of your community. For more info call KW Y.M.C.A. Host Program at 579-9622. City of Kitchener needs you! For info on the following contact Deb, Leisure Support Services 74 l-2226. Aquatic volunteers needed to assist adults and children with a disability. Volunteers needed to assist individuals disability at recreation programs.

with a

Joggers needed! Assist a teen with a disability jog at the track at the Waterloo Ret Complex.

like to dance? Five year old boy with a dkability requires volunteer to particfpate in a ballet program. Volunteer needed to assist 2 year old boy at preschool programTuesday, WednesdayorThursday 9-l 1 a.m. Volunteer sought for professiona, gentleman with a disability to ptay chess or golf. Contact Centre,

Sue

Coulter

742-8610

at the Volunteer

or kvvvac@web.net

Action for more

details on the following...Muftiple Sclerosis Society Leader Needed..,#l44-3185 - a volunteer with manageemnt ability, leadership skills as well as a sensitivity for disabled people. Support and training. Help Children Start Their Day Well Nourished...#120-2350 - join a team to help cook, serve food, clean up, etc. for school children.

Child Find...#21 l-5003 -volunteers are needed to assist with fingerprinting clinrcs at Kid Checks held on Saturdays. Babies & Infants Need Loving Care...#l48-179 warm, caring volunteers are needed at Hildegard Marsden Co-op Day Nursery. Calm, Dependable, Mature and a Good Listener...#065-3724 - if fhis is you, then Sunnyside Home really needs your help with their Alrheimer Day Away program. Swimming Companion...#O65-3066 - an elderly gentleman wholoves to swim can only do so if a volunteer can ao with him. The Turn key Desk is looking for student who are willing to help out. We need people to help move furniture and do setups for special events. If you would like to help out, please see Nancy O’Neil at the Turnkey Desk.

MONDAYS English Language Lab/class is held from 2:004:00 p.m. in ML 113, September-June. The class has an emphasis on pronunciation and listening exercises. Students, faculty, staff and spouses are welcome. For info call ext. 2814. UW Outers Club - hiking, camping trips, canoeing, kayaking, rock climbing, bouldering, and outdoor activities of all kinds. General meetings at 6:30 pm. in MC 4040. For more info - http:// outersclub.uwaterloo.ca TUESDAYS Parents Without Partners, Cambridge Chapter #978 meets the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month. Call Mike at 740-2155 for more info. WEDNESDAYS Grace Christian Fellowship, a gathering of Christians and those interested in Christianity, meets at 4:30 p.m., in ML 104. Details: Graham E. Morbey, ext. 3633 or g2morbey@watservl. Office: SLC 2126. FRIDAYS Jumaa Islamic prayer during Fall 99 is at 12:30 p.m., MC 4060. Details: Dr. M. I. Elmasry, ext. 3753 or elmasry@visi.uwaterloo.ca

Check out the new Student Awards Office Home Page for details on scholarships, awards and bursar& that you can apply for this term as welt as other useful financial aid information. http:// www.adm.uwaterioo.ca/infoawards/ Join the German Club! For upcoming events contact Ina Lehmann, ML 307 or phone ext. 6052. Legal problems? Tenant/landlord concerns? Visit the legal Resource Office. A referral service that may be able to help! Located in the SLC or by phone at 888-4634. Guided Self-Change of atcohoi use: for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counsetlina Senrices. ext. 2655. to find out more. Renison College has vacancies at present for undergraduate male or female students for the remainder of the Fall term and also for the upcoming Winter term - January - April 2000. For further information, please contact the Residence Office of Renison College at 884-4404, ext. 611. Gyou know that there are over 40,000 Portuguese speaking Canadians in the KW area? Ever wonder what it would be like if you knew what they were saying? Now you can! The Spanish Department is pleased to announce Portuguese 101 for the Winter 2000 Term. Sign up today at the Resisters Office. NH! Sorrv. beainners ontv. The Waterloo/Wellington Chapterofthe Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of Canada will be hosting a free education event on Wednesday, November 24., 1999. The event will take place in the Games Room of the Pioneer Park Community Centre

from 7-9 p.m. For info and RSVP call 748-

2195 or I-800-387-1470, ext. 18. LOST on Sunday afternoon, my watch. Anyone who found it, I’ll give you a big, fat reward to get it back. Call Jon at 8857913.

A;j,

56 Sparks Street

pledge . to UStby cohtg

613) 2346827/FAX (613) 234-6842 ttp:Ilwww.usc-canodo.org

1-800&i USC

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234-9335 for Ottawa culls.

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Arts 4%Craft Fair ‘99 -

MOV&TKB&R

3, 4, 5

10 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily University of Waterloo, Student Life Centre Students wishing to participate see Nancy at Turnkey Desk, Student Life Centre. CLJSSIFED #IDS

TEFW SUBSCRIPTIONS + Fall or Winter $17.75 0 Summer $8.90

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Services Complimentary shuttle bus to Lyric - Saturday Nights only - picks up at St. Michael’s Church on University Avenue and Kinko’s in the Universitv , Plaza e&y 40 minutes starting at 9:3O p.m. “The Spa On Maitland”. Bathhouse forBi and Gay men. Rooms, Iocke& saunas, steam rooms, showers, fully licensed bar. Students 112 price all the time with valid student IO. 66 Maitland Street, Toronto. 416-925-1571.

Personals Lyric is a beach-pub Saturdays. 8ook your own bus trip at The Lyric. On any Saturday night for the new Fall semester, The Lyric will give your group free admission, free food, the craziest prices, free concert tickets, free prizes and free transportation. Call our info line now at 749-2 121. Also ask us how we can help you raise money for your organization or choice of charitv. “Bi-Curious? Bi? Gay? The Barracks Bathhouse for men. Large steam-room, dry sauna, showers, lounge, toy store, rooms, lockers. 56 Widmer Street, Toronto. Responsible and safe. Open since 1974. 4 16-593-0499. We don’t want to see you naked! Don’t get me wrong, the human body is beautiful and that’s why we make clothes for it. Get it on with free embroidery for your Rez/Floor/Team/Faculty, etc. Locate us at www.rezwear.com c.ontactcnm@cnmonline.com or &88Z4O*ZZ

t Housiw #bailable I

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Room mate wanted - 10 minute walk from UW/ WLU, $272/month plus. One room available, 6 bedroom townhouse, five 2nd year female WLU students. Parking/laundry Winter term 2000 - room’for rent - close to both Universities, parking, laundry facilities. Call 7255348.

! Help Wanted i

A ; ’ 1 ; f

Waterloo Inn now hiring...courcatering department is looking for hardworking waitstaff willing to work evenings and weekends on apart-trme baSlS. lntereted applicants should drop off, fax or mail resume to: Human Resources, Waterloo Inn, 475 king St., N. Waterloo, On, N2J 225. Fax: 519-884ml-L*1 Babysitter desperatley needed Monday Tuesday nights 6-10 p.m., 2 active boys. Brent or Karen at 886-2480.

and CaH