1999-00_v22,n19_Imprint by Editor Imprint

Roots of Rahzel

University of Waterloo Student Newxpaper

November 26,1999- VOI.22, NO. I! .

d -6

WatPubs director resigns PAUL SCHREIBER /-I mff

s a regular Students' Council meeting drew to a close on November 21, Am ouncillor Lori Risebrough shocked the council by resigning from all three of her Federation of Studentspositions. Prior to Sunday afternoon, Risebrough was a Feds Councillor, a member of the Feds' Board of Directors and the WatPubs Director for Co-op Student Services (CSS). After apologizing for the problems that occurred with the WatPubs sign-ups (sign-up sheets were not made available on the necessary day), Risebrough lambasted FedsVPEducation Veronica Chau for "anadc[ing]" volunteem Risebroughclaimedthe whole WatPubs issue had been blown out of proportion. After Council Speaker Yaacov Iland repeatedly interrupted Risebrough's speech, questioning whether a council report was the appropriate time to make her remarks, a visibly upset Risebrough left the room at the conclusion of her speech. Risebrough explained to Imprint her reasons for resigning. Chief among her complaintswas the Fedsthemsclves."There's been a lot of disorganization within the Feds this year," she stated. Risebroughsaid she feelsthat

the Feds executivedid not communicate their expectationsadequately to council. The Feds' Board, Risebrough added, was another problem. It meets irregularly, and her attempts to schedule regular meetings were rebuffed. The former councillor said she felt that "some of the execdidn't see the board as important." Risebrough noted that when the board asked the

executive for a strategic plan and a financial update, the exec were "hesitant" to disclose such information. In terms of the WatPubs situation, Risebmughcalledthejobacceptanadayevents a "miscommunication." Thecitycoordinators, she said, didn't get back to her. Philosophical differenceswere another issue. Risebmughfelt that WatPubs "did not need t o be bureaucratized, set in a policy sense." Feds VP Education Veronica Chau was reluctant to talk about the situation. Calling it "an unfortunateincident," Chau feltthat it was "not appropriate to discuss wbrough's resignation] in a public forum." Chau did, however, explain her concept of how WatPubs hould work. WatPubs, noted the VP Ed, "do involve some structure." "It's a matter of putting in enough structure so that tasks are completed." CSS Co-commissioner Simon Woodside said some concerns about WatPubsaroscon November 16. "Normally, our major sign-up day isjob acceptanceday,and the former WatPuh Director (Risebrough) didn't deliver the sign up materials to co-op," he said. As for the structure of WatPubs, he said "there must be a chain of accountability sinceit'san importantservice," afterbeingtold of Chau's earlier comment.

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inal xam Survival Kits can be picked up at the Student Life Centre, Multi-Purpose Room. Ask at the Turnkey Desk for directions if you are unsure. PLEASE BBIWG PEBSOHAb INDEITWtCATIOW? Pickup dates: Monday, November 29 to Friday, December 3, 1999 Pickup times: 1l:OO a.m. to 2100 p.m. Are the hours inconvenient for you? Leave a messa e for the SAAoffice at 888-4626. Include your name, phone number and what date and time is convenient for you to pit9( up your FESK. Christopher Selvig Susan Brown Melissa Krishna Cindy Bailey Neepun Sharma Jody Parrack Jay McQuoid DerekSarioglu J. Arthur MacNeif Amanda Gibbons Josh Gibbons lndrani Kowlessar Jessica Kwok Tyson McWha Amy Stephenson Brownyn Findlay Rory Lucyshyn-Wright Matt Grey Paul Fedory Scott Stuart-Seeley Elizabeth Sharde Michelle Jerzyk Ryan Burkett Chris Lahey Kevin Rypstra Shannon Rysptra Marianne Debruyne Becky Disasguale Robert MaClachlan Lyne Lemieux James Wood Chris Hays Kerri Greenwood Trudy McMunn Jeff Dippel Matt Morrow Justin Patterson Tiffany Modde David Goodman Dennis Lubbers Elaine Chan Abbie-Jo Baverspock Chrystian MacKenzie Shawna Downey Ian Marshall Lara Eichhorn Arun Chaudhuri Michael Humphrey Jeff Rambharack Martin Miron

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Council to reevaluateFeds’structure Board of Directors’ makeup under review PAUL

SCHREIBER /?qpni7t sr#?fl

n Sunday, Students’ Council also took a look at a handful of other pressing and not-so-pressing issues, including the structure of the Federation of Students themselves. Imprint attended the meeting and spoke with several Feds executives and councillors to find out what was going on. Feds’

structure

reevaluated

to be

Engineering

Councillor Charles Betgeron brought forth a motion to reevaluate the structure of the Feds. As it currently stands, there are 25 student councillors, five executive (the president and four VPs) and a Board of Directors. The Board - legally required of any corporaof the executive and five tion - is composed councillors. Bergeron believes that the Feds would fare better with two bodies instead of three. While the Feds have restructured in the past, it has mostly been the rearranging of executive portfolio. Bergeron emphasized that “shifting around a few portfolios is not restructuring.” When asked if it was his interpretation that the Feds are following their bylaws in terms of the usage of the Board of Directors and Council, he was vague, stating only that “it is the job of the committee to look at this.” The problemj he explained, is that right now “the council, executive and directors don’t

understand their roles.” Not only that, but the executive Udon’t know how to use the board” and “acts like the board.” Bergeron calls the current bylaws ambiguous and inadequate. VP Education Veronica Chau disagrees. She believes the Feds are following the bylaws, While stating that the current model is not inherently flawed, she is in favour of reevaluating the structure “as long as it doesn’t involve a huge amount of time.” Chau concurs that the current system makes it hard to determining the jurisdiction of the various bodies, Feds President Christine Cheng added that it is “always valuable to reevaluate, especially in light of the disappearance of the VP Internal.” (Starting next year, the VPSI andVP1 ppsitions will be merged.) Cheng doesn’t see a lot of overlap be-

“Shifting around a few portfolios is not restructuring.” tween the governing bodies, calling the line between the Board of Directors and the Feds Exec “pretty clear.” The line between the exec and council is also clear, Cheng added. She does, however, agree with Bergeron on one point, stating that the line of authority between Council and the

Board

of Directors is “murky.” In a display of inefficiency, council spent 45 minutes determining the composition of a reevaluation committee. They weren’t determining who would be on the committee, merely how many people would sit on it. Bergeron was extremely frustrated that council takes and “inordinate” amount of time to make “trivial” decisions.

Appointments

poky

the ideal position to know which students in their faculty are both interested and qualified to serve on the various committees on this campus.”

Earlier this year, Council approved $150 to send one student to Mexico.

enacted

Another proposal brought to council was one to change the way the President appoints people to committees. Currently, there is no formal structure in place, and appointments are made in what Bergeron called a “hap-hazard” manner. According to statements made at the meeting, committee appointments are often given to whomever walks into Cheng’s office, The proposal states that councillors must be notified of any available committee positions, and that students selected to fill the positions must be ratified by Council. Presently, Fedscommissioners are ratified, but not committee appointees. The proposal calls for four steps to be taken when making an appointment: (1) an &intent to appoint” notice is circulated; (2) a candidate search is undertaken; (3) the candidate is appointed; and (4) the candidate is ratified by council. Cheng stated that she already does notify councillors of upcoming appointments. Bergeron said, adding that “councillors are in

In defending his proposal, Bergeron told council that “this is not council controlling the president; it’s encouraging volunteers.” While Cheng and Feds VP Chris Harold opposed the motion, VPAF Josh Doig was in favour. After much debate over amendments that eventually failed, the resolution was passed, with Cheng abstaining.

Feds send students

muth

Council voted to approve $100 towards sending one student to Seattle for the World Trade Organization conference, and $450 to partially fund a group of ES students’ trip to Texas and Mexico. Earlier this year, they had approved $150 to send one student to Mexico. While Feds VPSI Jason Risley feels these trips are important and students bring back information to UW, continued

to page 7

PrivateU wants Ontario accreditation ROBIN

STEWART hptii7t stafl

tudents in Ontario may soon find themselves with some new options in choosing a post-secondary institution. The University of Phoenix, owned by Wall Street conglomerate Apollo Group and North America’s .largestfor-profit Unive’rsity hasbeen making overtures to the Ontario government for some time and Southam News is reporting that Tories will soon open the doors for their arrival.

The University of Phoenix in Arizona has some 250,000 current students spread across40 campuses and 80 learning centres, including one centre in Vancouver. It receives strong corporate support form large established corporations like AT&T.

Both Ontario Premier Mike Harris and Minister of Training, Colleges and Universities Dianne Cunningham have acknowledged that they are considering a number of proposals including one from the University of Phoenix. Harris was quick to point our however that such institutions would be funded privately, receiving no subsidies from John Q. Taxpayer. Feds VP Education Veronica Chau was non-committal tihen asked for an opinion on the issue. Federation of Students Students’ Council has yet to arrive at a position on the

issue of private universities. Chau did, however, note that while she saw increased choice as a strength of the introduction of private institutions, she noted possible elitism as a potential

weakness.

“The

range be-

tween the various schools in term of prestige is not as great” asit might be with private she noted.

institutions

in the mix,

man of the Council of Ontario Universities noted “We are concerned that a for-profit university brings a very different set of values.”

Chau noted elitism as a possible problem with private universities. Henry Mandlebaum, Executive Director Ontario Confederation of University Faculty Associations (OCUFA) is more decided. Among the 11,000 members of OCUFA, ?here is a tremendous amount of concern,” commented Mandelbaum in an interview with the National Post, In the same article, Dr; Paul Davenport, president of the University of Western Ontario and chair-

UW VP Academic and Provost Jim Kalbfleisch added that he wasnot philosophically opposed to the idea of private institutions, but that he does have concerns about how proposals to the government might be judged. Kalbfleisch suggested two important conditions that should be placed on any such proposal. First, private institutions should not be seen as an alternative to the existing pub-

licly funded system and second, that private institutions should be subject to the same quality and reporting requirements that public institutions are subject to. While University of Phoenix Senior Regional Vice President Craig Swensen “sees little conflict with the mission of the traditional university,” Kalbfleisch showed some concern. Both Chau and Kalbfleisch commented that there wasn’t that much difference between the working population targeted by the University of Phoenix and the workforce oriented students recruited by the University of Waterloo. The issue of private universities may not be decided tomorrow, but it is one that is likely to remain on the minds of this government and university leaders for some time.

NEWS

Imprint, Friday,November26, 199

RlAA-bullies . a U.S. schools over MP3s opyright infringement has been a hot issue in the information technology world for some time. Illegal copies of office suites, games and operating systems are all around us; software companies have tried in vain to slow down their distribution. The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) has taken on a similar issue, trying to slow down the distribution of illegally recorded MP3 files. MP3 s are files containing. compressed audio information. While it is legal to make backup copies of songs that you own and use them yourself + and many recording artists offer legal versions of their work on the Internet - distributing recorded songs without the express permission of the owner of the copyright on that music is illegal. In a letter sent to over 300 U.S. colleges, the RIAA warned schools they could be held legally liable if students were using their campus networks to distribute these illegal files. All this begs the question of whether or not the University of Waterloo could be held responsible for the distribution of said illegal files across Resnet, the network wiring most of the rooms in the Village One and Ron Eydt Village residences. Associate Provost and IST main man Jay Black told Imprint he wasn’t sure what the legal ramifications might be. “I don’t know,” he said, noting he felt that UW’s Statement on the Appropriate Use of Network Resources might

Yo q&r0 more Ianguqe c:ourses Due to agrowing interest in Spanish and Latin American studies, the language deparutlent. is offering a new course next term - Portugese. Mariela Cutierrez, chair of the deparmene, told the Daily Mleti .tht the

MATT

PATTERBON sp8c~./ ti9 /mpnht

hat if you were told you could take a drug that would make you a bet ter learner, give you a greater memory capacity and increase your level of concentration in class? This sounds like a good idea but most UW students are passing up this drug every day. The drug here is healthy food. Food can be considered a drug because our good friend Webster defines a drug as “a substance used to alter the state of the body or the mind.” Food does both of these things. Linda Barton, who works for Health Services and Residence Life at UW, advising about nutrion-related issues, said that “nutrition has an enormous impact on how people focus throughout the day.” Focus, Barton stated, is vital to how well students learn and how productive they are. Barton noted that the food service has “really improved on campus, but students are still making poor decisions.” One of the most important aspects of eating right is when you eat. Barton says many students are “emotional eaters,” meaning they reach for things like fries, chips and pop when they are feeling sad or depressed. The other problem Barton points to is that students aren’t eating enough throughout the day, “and when they do eat they are very hungry and go for junk food.” The easiest way to improve nutrition is to eat a greater number of smaller meals throughout

the day.

Barton

recommends

five

protect the university from liability. At this point neither Black nor Housing and Residences Computer Systems Support Specialist Cheryl Skingley have received any communication from the RIAA but they have followed developments occurring in our neighbor nation to the south. Schools in the U.S. have already begun to take action against some students involved in the distribution of such software. Carnegie Melon conducted a “random search” of 250 student machines, scanning both publicly accessible and those with predictable passwords. Out of that search, 71

standards as their American counterparts : somewhat of a challenge. Both Black an Skingley were unclear as to how the case la\ might differ in the two countries. Imprint contacted UW Adjunct Lecture and practicing information technology lawye Jerry Kreindler for his opinion on the matter He was clear in noting that students whl are distributing illegal MP3s are in violation o the law. On the question of the university’ liability he was less sure. According to Kreindler the Canadian Copyright Act allows for privatl non-commercial use of recorded music, distri

Students distributing illegal MP3s could be subject to the Academic Discipline policy students had their network privileges suspended for the duration of the term. Here at Waterloo, there are no random searches in the works, but both Skingley and Black acknowledge that a search is not outside the realm of possibility. “We would have to have reason to think that something wasgoing on,” remarked Black when asked under what conditions a search might be conducted. Skingley noted that if she received a letter from the RIAA, or a similar Canadian body, she would likely suggest that IST conduct a search. She did add, however, that the search should probably restrict itself to public shares, calling anything beyond that “an invasion of privacy.” Answering the question of whether or not Canadian institutions might be held to the same

bution of this material, however, would bc illegal. The university would likely be safe frorr liability, in Kreindler’s opinion, as long as the, did not know that crimes were being commit. ted. As soon as they knew that this wasgoing on. not stopping it could be considered assisting the illegal act. What is clear is that the distribution oi many copyrighted MPS files is a practice that is not legal and students who are involved in these activities using campus resources could find themselves subject to the Academic Discipline policies of the university, Asked what message she would send to those involved in exchanging MP3 files, Skingle y advised students to “stay within the law, they signed a piece of paper saying thky would.”

many carbohydrates have a negative impact on memory, so think twice next time you sit down to cram for your finals with a two pound bag of gummy bears to keep you company. Students should consider chocolate milk as a good food source. It not only provides protein, but it also relieves that “sugar itch” many students feel. So far this year there has generally been a positive reaction from students in regards to

the food served at on campus eateries. Brubakers is popular with its fresh Sandwiches and home-cooked style dinners. The Village One cafeteria provides students with a large range of selection. Renison, however has not kept up with the rest of the University. Barton said a common complaint she hears from Renison residents is that there is a lack of variety and of quality in their food.

Toys for all

or six

light meals that include a fruit or vegetable, a grain product and a source of prbtein. Common sources of protein that can be found on campus are yogurt, eggs, deli meat and cheese, Recent research shows that too

Studentschatwith avendorasshedisplays Centrelastfhursdayafternoon.

someofherwares aspartofthe toy fair in the Davis

Imprint, Friday, Novemer 26, 1999

NEWS

* CASA head visits Waterloo MAKER,

ALLYN

ational Director of the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA) Jason Aebig was on campus this week, On Sunday, November 21, he met with Federation of Students Students’ Council. On Monday and Tuesday, he distributed information and spoke with students in the Student Life Centre. CASA was founded five years ago at the Winds of Change conference in 1994. At this conference student leaders from the University of Waterloo, University of Alberta, University of British Columbia, University of Saskatchewan and McGill University created a new national

student lobby group. Some of the principles

on which CASA was founded were that it would be “member-driven,” in that most directions would come from the member schools; it would focus solely on post-secondary issuesand policy development; it would have clear flexible bylaws; and it would deal only in the federal jurisdiction, with the federal government but not with the provincial government. The CASA Web site reports that currently they have 17 student government members representing more than 275,000 students. Aebig is a former Vice President and President of the University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union and began as National Director in May for a term of one year. The reaSOn for his visit with council was partly an “accountability check.” He also feels it is importan to gain input from students, as well as make them aware of himself and of CASA so they will be informed “if they are interested.” Aebig said “it is important to remember that the organization is only five years old. In

the past there hasn’t been a concerted effort to inform students.” “It has been good for students to show personal anecdotes. It is good to be able to know stories to be able to relate to statistics and they can be incorporated in to our discussions, policy documents or research. Sometimes I am able to help someone access something in Ottawa. So it works to the benefit of both.” “I am most anxious for the budget,” Aebig said, expressing his interest in the federal budget which comes out in February. He hopes provincial transfer payments increase so universities can rely more on public funding than on high tuition. “We’ve been talking ostensibly about lowering the interest on the Canada Student Loans,” Aebig adds that if the government put some of the “mammoth and embarrassingly growing surplus” back in to education he would see

adrnissiofls

that as a “huge victory.” He mentioned the civility

that

he has achieved with the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS), the competing and sometimes mutually antagonistic student lobby group. “This outright garbage of hounding on each other instead of focusing our energies on lobbying the government doesn’t lend itself well to getting results.” To achieve this, Aebig has met regularly with CFS head Michael Conlin. He admits his bias for CASA and thinks his organization is more legitimate and more effective than the CFS. “I am adamant that CASA isthe best show in town. n Aebig, despite having spent a long time in student politics, doesn’t take himself too seriously, “People in student politics have healthy egos. Some of them need to take a shot of prune juice, have a nap and relax.” -

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Co-OP

STUDENT SERVICES

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ork terms offer overworked Waterloo students a chance to finally get out and enjoy life free of assignments, midterms and finals. It’s no good having all &is free time if you’re in a place where you don’t know anyone. That’s where WatPubs come in. WatPubs are events organised in co-op cities by Waterloo co-op students for students. Events include all kinds of different things, such as movie nights, rock climbing, theatre, dancing aLd of course, hanging out in a restaurant or pub after a long day at work. WatPubs are a service run by the

Federation of Students’ Co-op Student Services Commission. They operate across Ndrth America (Toronto, Ottawa, Vancouver, Montreal, Calgary, Redmond, San Francisco and many other cities) as well as around the world (such as Hong Kong). When enough students sign up for a new city, a WatPub is started there as well. Sign up now by visiting the WatPubs web site: http:// watpubs.uwaterloo.cd. Visit the site to find out where andwhen the next WatPub is happening&in your neck of the woods. WatPubs co-ordinators for each city are also needed - the co-ordinator organises the various events and lets everyone know about them using e-mail and the announcements section of the WatPubs Web site. If you’re interested in being a co-

ordinator, check that box when you Sign up on the web, Other resources are available at http:// coopstudent.uwaterloo.ca/.

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Information Technology department have created a pilot project that allows students to borrow laptops with wireless network cards for five hours at a time. Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, is offering a similar program as

notice. for full

a result of an award from the lMarquette Parents’ Association. A little closer to home is the Richard Ivey School of Business at the University of Western Ontario. Last year, the Ivey School made laptop computers a requirement for all incoming students. As part of their technology fee, they receive a network card that allows them to stay connected from anywhere in the Ivey School. Chief Information Officer Ri-

chard Cloutier said the technology allows Ivey’s MBA students to be online wherever they go, be it the library, coffee shop, study rooms or the front steps. Literally, “every square inch of the building” is covered by the wireless network. He described reaction to the wireless network as being “very, very positive.” “The idea of being connected everywhere,” Cloutier explained, is that “it’s not just the connectivity. It’s connectivity all the time. It’s enabling mobility and it’s always on.” Wireless networking was the ideal solution for the lvey School, because “students are mobile and it was important to have the computing solution match. n He sees Western and Ivey as a model other schools could follow.

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So how does UW measure up? Imprint asked Engineering Associate Dean (Computing) Beth Jewkes what Waterloo’s plans are. Currently, Jewkes explained, there are wireless research networks in place. There are plans for building a wireless network

Literally, “every square inch of the building” is covered by the wireless network.

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icture this: students are sitting on the lawn in front of the P Student Life Centre, surfing the Net. They are checking e-mail, submitting assignments and renewing library books. Sound farfetched? That’s exactly what students at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) in Pittsburgh are doing. CMU’s WirelessAndrewproject allows any of the 10,000 students, faculty and staff to be connected to the on-campus network and the Internet from practicatly anywhere on their 1 O3-acre campus, including their large lawns, the Mall and the Cut. By the end of the year, all 28 buildings will be covered by the wireless network. Using technology developed by Lucent, anyone with a notebook and the appropriate network card can access Carnegie Mellon’s information systems and the Internet without being tied to any one physical

location. The current connection speed is 2 megabits/second -slower than ethernet, but much faster than regular modems - and new technology will allow for speed of 11 megabits/second. Carnegie Mellon is not the only school implementing wireless networks. Dartmouth University in Hanover, New Hampshire, is installing wireless access points at popular student areas around campus. This small-scale project will allow between 25 and 50 students to surf the Net. At Drexel University in Philadelphia, the Office of Information Resources and Technology (IRT) installed three wireless transmitters this past spring, Acooperative effort between IRT and the Hagerty library has created a Yybetzone? Additional access points are being installed in the student union building and

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in the Davis Centre but they are “not that far along yet? While “there have been lots of discussions” and the idea of wireless networking has great potential, no hard plans are in place, Jewkes agreed that there would be a “huge benefit” to having wireless networks installed at UW, Students, faculty and staff could have access to communications networks from a wide variety of locations. She cited convenience as a big factor, and envisioned access from the library and public open spaces. Anotheradvantageofinstallingawireless network is that it has the potential to free up lab space. As UW’s student population continues to grow rapidly, giving students access to the network from their own computers could reduce the need for lab expansion. While cost, theft and network security concerns are potential stumbling blocks, Jewkes explained that there is now technology available to deal with the latter concern. She expressed interest in hearing students’ views on the issue. Mathematics Faculty Computing Facility Director Wayne Oldford explained a little more about the Davis Centre network. The money to fund it came from a Bell Canada University Labs networking grant, which both UW and the University of Toronto received. Wireless networks, he noted, are very ‘dependent on physical structures. The unique architecture of the Davis Centre and Mathematics and Computer Centre could potentially hinder the implemenation of wireless networking. Oldford sees staff time as the main stumbling block. The Davis Centre network equipment will arrive in February and should be up within a year. However, Oldford had no definite plans for any network that would give access to undergraduate

Bomber, Fed Hull doing wdl Scoops, VW below expectations continued

from

page 3

Bergeron disagreed, He voted against “sending students off ‘to Mexico, Seattle and other exotic places given that there’s a limited amount of money we have to spend.” He added “I usually favour on-campus groups or projects.”

SLC

Renovations

Feds VP Administration and Finance Josh Doig’s report highlighted the success of the Feds’ business so far this year; The Bombshelter, Fed Hall and the Used Bookstore are all doing well. On the other hand, Scoops and the Variety & Post have not yet met their year-to-date targets. Doig also discussed a possible renovation of the lower level of the Student Life Centre. After Campus Cove reopened, he noted, they only took up about half the space they previously occupied. The Feds want to move the Used Bookstore into the currently vacant space. Then, the drugstore could potentially expand into the space previously occupied by the used bookstore.

the renovations underway.

Money

currently

misspent?

In her report, VP Education Chau complained about the UW administration’s misuse of butsary money.

Council endorsed the student-run open-source “Free CECS Project.” When the government approved tuition increases two years ago, they did so on the condition that 30 per cent of the money from the increases be used by universities to “ensure accessibility.” Bursaries, Chau explained, are only for students in financial need. Scholarships, on the other hand, can be awarded based on financial need, merit, marks or a combination of those and other factors. Presently, UW gives out three types of awards: entrance bursaries, upper-year bursaries as well as fulland part-time work-study programs,

Waterloo’s $3,000 entrance bursaries are among the highest in Ontario. s Cheng explained to Imprint that money is the issue. A cost estimate of

away all of the money from the fund, and has been left with a surplus. In the first year, Chau noted, UW ended up with a 35 per cent surplus. Last year, UW increased its entrance bursaries to $3,000, making them “among the highest in On-

One problem is that over the past three years, UW has not given

tario.” The university handed out awards to 877 students, or 19 per cent of alI first-years, for a total of $2,63 1,000, just over half of the $5.2 million available in the fund. Chau feels strongly that money is being misused. Instead of going to needy upper-year students, the funds are “being used as a recruitment tool,”

CO-op Cound

26 REGINA ST N.

Students’ disses NH

At the Co-op Students’ Council meeting heid earlier that day, Chau harped on a familiar topic: overcrowding of Needles Hall. “The sheer lack of space,” she stated “is embarra@ng.” Chau also blasted councillors for not attending Co-op Students’ Advisory Group meeting&+ The most significant announcement was Council’s endorsement of the student-run open source “Free CECS Project,” an attempt by a group of students to replace Access with a web-based system.

GRADUATE PROGRAM ON LEASING OR FINANCING a Get the car you want before you graduate!

NO $$ DOWN WHEN YOU BUY

Davis Centre glassnot bulletproof- ifter all

Glasses or Contact

LastThursday afternoon, a two-man construction crew replaced a fewwindow panes in front of the DavisCentre. WasthistheworkofSammySosa?

lenses

NEWS

Imprint, Friday, November 26. 1999

Mathies .solve problems for breukfust

o you know how many sets of four distinct points forming the vertices of a trap:zoid there are if the points are choien from the vertices of a regular n<on, where n>=4 and n is an integer? Was this question a tad too easy? Yhen you could probably solve the questions in the Big E and the Special K, two contests that are held annu.~Ill; by the University of Waterloo’s ~~aculty , of Mathematics. These contests were started in L9174 by Murray Klamkin, a profes!;or emeritus who now has since rer ired to Edmonton. Klamkin started the Special K x first-year students, because he 2lt that the Big E questions may have leen too sophisticated for those who iid not have enough mathematical Jackground as upper-year students.

Both contests by both professors then and are still fact, many students contests continued demic career.

were well received and students back lauded today. In who won these on toward an aca-

The Big E and Special K are big events for math students. This contest, held on November 20, waswritten by Christopher Small, a professor from the Department of Statistics and Actuarial Science. Ever since Small has started his tour of duty in 1986, he has not looked back. Today, the Big E and the Special K are big events in the calen-

dar for mathematics students. As well, these two have spun off into other contests, like the Bernoulli Trials, a double elimination contest where students must try to prove or disprove mathematical hypothesis. One former student, Ian Goulden, is now a highly-touted professor in the department of Combinatorics and Optimization. Not much has changed since 1974, but expect an overhaul in the next few years. So why would anyone want to challenge their mathematical muscle? As Small explained, “It gives students a chance to prepare for the Putnam contest. The Big E and Special K are similar to the Putnam, but these are local university contests.” Small is encouraged by the turnout of these contests and hopes to have a strong team ready for the Putnam. The official winners will be announced sometime next week.

Engineers rock SLC -

We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the engineers. We really hated the movieTheThreeMusketeers.ChrisO’Donnell’sactingwassobadwewerein tears. The end of the closingcredi ts was Iikemusic to our ears. Now where are our damned forty beers?

Ten things to do with a BMath

Justcomeon downto theImprint office,SLC1116,andgiveusyour name,mailingaddress andmoney.

A group of panelistsdiscuss a wide array of availablecareers in math and computer science at a forum held on Tuesday,Novembert3.~eevent,heldintheMathandComputerCentre,wassponsoredbytheWomenin MathematicsCommittee.

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November%,

Z999,Volume22,N~ber19

she should talk

staff linda 0. nagy, Editor-in-Chief vacant, Assistant Editor Darren Altmayer, Forum Paul Schreiber, Sarah Crellin, News Ryan Merkley, Adina Gillian, Arts John Swan, Kate Schwass, Sports Carrie Lindeboom, Mark A. Schaan, Features Aman Dhaliwal, Science AngelaTakirawa, JaniceJim, Photos vacant, Graphics Arun Pereira, Web RobSchmidt, SystemsAdministrator Justyna Barchanska, Proofreader SteveLockwood, Proofreader . JeremyTaylor, Proofreader vacant, Proofreader vacant, Proofreader Marea Willis, Business Manager LaurieTigert-Dumas, Advertising& Production Manager I Emily Pa&e, Advertising Assistant EricaJantzi, Advertis‘ing Assistant Bryan Bensen, Distribution JustineSaccomanno, Distribution

The perils of interviewing

efore: Tuesday, November 23,659 p.m. What does one say to a group of people who seek thorough disassociation from you to change what you see as a fundamental part of who you are? I acknowledge that my question is somewhat. confusing, but that confusion seems strangely appropriate in this case. Tomorrow Imprint has an editorial board meeting with several Bloc Quib&ois MPs. The meeting is at their request;they are holding a public lecture tonight on campus to discuss Qu&ec sovereignty. I am currently formulating some thoughts and questions to present to these MPs. The concept of an editorial board meeting is new to all of us in the office. It is my opinion that the discussion should go beyond standard formula interview questions, but how far beyond? “What is your vision for the future of Quibec?” is a pretty obvious start. And pretty tame too. How about: “How do you justify sovereignty association to people who say that if you want to be your own nation, you cannot retain access to the privileges of the rest of Cariada?” That’s a little better. The topic of whether perpetual referendums ostracize the rest of Canada could be broached also. But as much as I want to steep tiy questions in political research and rhetoric, everything I want to say to express my passion for Canada as it now exists, but this always seems to come out like the words of a small child afraid of losing something she’s never been without. Can we not turn the unity debate back into the unity discussion?

Board of Directors Robin Stewart,President RobSchmidtJicePresident Mike Habicher,Treasurer Rachel Beattie, Secretary Contributors Mike Allyn, NickDingIe, David Eby,Nigel Flear,Warren Hagey, LisaJohnsonJen Litt, Krista Lord, Heather Macdougall, Andrea Meinychuk, Kerry O’Brien, Matt Patterson, Adam Stanley, JaredThibeau, WendyVnoucek, Jon Willing

in their quest to help us understand their position as sovereigntists. In fact, I personally felt a bit overwhelmed by their ability to communicate their views so well (and in English), while I remained mostly silent, bogged down with a national pride which I almost felt the need to apologize for. They called themselves “quiet sovereigntists,n decidedly different they said from their vocal, flag-waving and outspoken founders. “My point of view is not against you, it’s for me,” said one of them, My desire for dialogue was now mired in confusion. They blamed Pierre Elliot Trudeau for sirewing the people of Quebec out of the changes he promised 20 years ago. Their distaste for the power of Ottawa was unmasked.

MPs

But you’re talking about the politicians, we said, not the average Canadian. The average Canadian, one Imprinter tried to explain, hasn’t been exposed to all the backroom political deals of the last 3 0 years and really wants to bring Quebec back into the national vision. But these three average Quebecers sitting at the table with us do not share that vision. They tell us that it is not a matter of if but when Qukbec decides to become a country. After an hour and a half we seem to have found at least one piece of common ground, that being national pride. Sadly, however, we’re talking about: two different nations. -ii?&

0. nugy

Wednesday, November 24,535 p.m The dust has settled in the Imprint office. The three Bloc Quebecois MPs who came to our office today were articulate and passionate

1sU-Wstuck in the dark a,ges? -1

Imprint is publishedevery Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint resemes the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint UN 0706 7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product SalesAgreement no. 554677.

Tel:5 I9-888-4048 Fax:5 I g-884-7800 http;ljimprint.uwaterloo.ca editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Bloc Quebkcois

. After:

Imprint is the official student newspaper oftheUniversityofWaterloo. It isan editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint isamemberofthe OntarioCommunity Newspaper Association (OCNA).

Address mail to: Imprint Student LifeCentre, Room I I 16 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3C I

t is with a heavy heart that I bring this sad news to all those who attend “the MIT of the north;” this university is, despite recent reports to the contrary, technologically backward. What would bring a proud and loyal UW student to say such words of blasphemy with so many excitable Math and Computer Science students we11 within earshot? It is our pathetic dependancy on using paper fur just about everything that has excited this mild-mannered reporter to become the champion of electronic information. Why is it that we are so trapped in this paradigm of paper? Particularly at this university, I cannot understand the failure to adopt the new technologies available. Let me offer up an example. This week, I had the pleasure of visiting the beautiful Needles Hall in order to collect rni fee schedule and class timetable. After an enjoyable 200minute wait in line, I was informed by the registrar that my schedule had not yet been filed, but “would be ready in 20 minutes.” Why would that possibly anger me? Could it be because I wasted my lunch hour standing in a pointless line only to find that my schedule wasn’t ready? Perhaps the fact that no one thought to post a short list of the departments that had yet to be filed? The fact &that none of these things really angered me. What truly

infuriates me is that I still have to pick up my fee statement at all. Why can the university not simply e-mail the fee statement and class schedule to me? They have my e-maii address - they gave it to me. I’m sure there are some backward legalities that require me to be sent. a “hard copy” of my fee statement, but that doesn’t even begin to absolve them of this archaic practice, Are universities not supposed to be agents of change within a society? It is this unwillingness to fet go of paper that infuriates me, But there is more. Why is it that I must also pay my tuition fees by cheque (read: the most annoying form of currency known to humanity) instead of Interac or online viacredit card? Honestly, someone must think that my favourite hobby outside of skipping classes and drinking is standing in like. Most university students don’t even have cheques. If they’re like me, they have to go to their bank-in person -and order a sheet of cheques just so they can sign one and throw out the

rest

of them

because

t10 one

else in the

known universe uses them. If they’re not like me, they probably have to take a bus (Kitchener Transit doesn’t accept cheques either) to their bank in order to acquire these silly cheques. I always say that if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re part of tEe problem, so I have

a proposal. I suggest we forget all about payment‘ by cheque and institute the new-andimproved barter system for university tuition. Instead of paper, studgnrs would soon be able to pay their fees with livestock and fresh harvested goods. Pies and baked goods are also welcome; we want our faculty and staff to eat well, no doubt. With all the undeveloped land on North Campus, we would obviously have to set up a farm in order to house the hundreds of chickens, cows, horses, and bushels of hay that will accumulate as students come in to pay their fees. Soon UW will look and smell just like the University of Guelph. Perhaps the smell of cow manure could help to improve next year’s Muclean’s ranking. As I stroll whiz halls of the SLC, mulling over this problem, the soulless grey Math and Computers building looms over the campus, just waiting to unleash its awesome computing skills onto our overworked administration. Please, someone out there, take the initiative. It’s time that we make

the jump

into

century

and abandon the antiquated obsession paper. Otherwise, I’d better start planting for next year’s fee deadline. -RyanMu#bewMd~ 2APoliticalkiw

with corn

Props

for President

To theEditor,

am writing in response to the article ‘Time to Meet the Marker,” in the Imprint of November 19. As the Feds executive we are always looking for feedback from students and sexching for ways to improve,

but I feel that on the whole the article was unfair to our President Christine Cheng. As one of the people who work with her, I feel I am in a good position to observe the devotion that

Christine pours into her work. In the article Christine was given a C+, a mark I feel is a gross understatement of the amount of work, time and effort that Christine has put into her position. Most of her work is behind the scenes, such as review-

ing policy and meeting with administration and other key decision makers. As a result, most students do not see Christine at work. Because I work so closely with her, I have seen her regularly command the respect of Administration and ensure that the students’ voices are heard with integrity. TheC+markwasbaseddirectly on the by-laws, which in the caseof the President are especially vague and broad. The by-laws are used as guiding principles, and are impossible to quantify. Perhaps the worst part of the article was in stating that Yevery executive member except Christine Cheng would be elected again for the same position if the councillors and Imprint staff were given a chance.” It maybe t)le opinion of the eight councilors and three Imprint staff who filled out the survey to not re-elect Christine, and that’s fair. But assomeone who workswith Christine everyday, who seesher in her office at all hours and recognizes her devotion and all her many successes,I know what a terrific job she has done. And I would vote “Cheng” without a moment’s hesitation. -JusonRisley Vice Presihnt

Federation

frame difibulator and assembly bytecode capacitor, but you’re here CauseMuclean’s told you to. Wake up you assholes: you’re like the unwanted “we should have worn a condom, dear” fifth child. Computer engineering has become a badge of arrogance and social retardation. It’s bad enough that upper years have to deal with stereotypes and stigmas associated with compies of yesteryears, but now we .gotta deal with you first-year brats holding on to the shearing threads of what was once glory and splendor. A lesson on social etiquette to the new compies aswell: yes,sure we could score chicks on ICQ and such. But when we’re at Fed or the Bomber we still need cool lines. And we just don’t got any. It’s not like we can just walk up to girl and say, “computer engineer classof 2004, do you wanna f-g-?” It just doesn’t

computer

TotheEditor, he attitude of first-year computer engineers sickens me.

work

like that.

Lesson learned? We look at you, and we see little naive figurines of ourSelYes.

So all you first year cats,take our advice: stop yapping, take aseat,pass E&CE 100 and then come a’knocking. 3B CompterEngineering

Music Student kwes of Students

Bitching and complaining left and right about everything and nothing. The extra 150 of you at the bottom rung this year, you know who you are. The ones who barely skimmed over the lenient cut-offs flaunting how they opted out of taking a $10 million scholarship at Carleton or U of T. Ordering your “04” jackets as if you’re part of some packaged program that’s a hop, skip, jump away from the promised land. Walking the corners of villages, nose in air, as the self-proclaimed umed-students” of WV. Do you even like computers? Half of you don’t even know the difference between a hackable main-

Boys N’ Girls nights almost a year ago. Another thing, Russel, is that your ignorance of estimating what the crowd is looking for overwhelms me. I don’t pretend to know exactly what the crowd wants, but when 90 per cent of 300400 requests are for hip-hop and house music, then that’s what I play. If more people feel the way you do>hen I invite thesepeople to make theserequests,becauseright noti I&n catering to 1000 people and making the best choices I can. Until then, Rtiss,and certainly sinceyou decided to personally insult me (aka, the “f-0 eed-up” yutz), I have to believe that you’re just one of those people who like to bitch. One of those people who loves the sound of their own whiny little voices. If this is the case,and I suspectit is,perhaps we can dedicate akaraoke Russel night, where everyone can enjoy a delightful cornucopia of Russel tunes accompanied by the sound of your very own voice. Would that make you happy, Russel?

for the masses

TotheEditoy,

brainwashed by the idea that the crowd, rather than an individual, should dictate how my show plays out over the course of a night. Your comment regarding “eurotrash wannabe” night at Fed Hall disturbs me. I will be the first one to admit that I don’t play every type of music throughout the course of a night. But if that’s what you’re looking for, lucky for you, we have the Bomber. You see, for two years, I have been one of the main Wednesday night DJs at the Bomber where a mix from Metallica to Spirit of the West to Dee-Lite to Will Smith is required and expected. Fed Hall has done well because it is catering to a different crowd. And although our lineups aren’t as long as they used to be, I would be inclined to say that we’re doing pretty well considering a half dozen other clubs in the area have focussed their attention on the Thursday night crowd since Fed Hall started

-Alan Cannistruro I)], Fed Hull and Born Melter 4B ComputerEngheekg

this opportunity to thank Russ Rowlands for making me realize that I am a “f-----d up” want

to take

yuE* You see, having been a DJ for seven years, I guess I have become

Resources

aplenty

To theEditor,

was looking through last week’s WPIRG insert and I found it to be something of an odd irony that taking WPIRG’s advice and using one’s own critical thinking skills will inevi-

berzerk toons

uI t)rot@tt

it wov a thick ov gwn.”

tably lead one to dismiss WPIRG altogether. The claim that we will ?un out” of all sorts of resources within the next fifty or so years is nothing short of pure rubbish. History has shown us that predictions of resource depletion and environmental doom have such a terrible track record that intelligent people, especiallystudents, would be better off dismissing them. A few examples are necessaryto illustrate my point: In the 1700s ThomasRobeaMalthus,arguedthat since population tends to grow at a geometric rate while food production grows at a linear rate, humanity is doomed to an inevitable death by starvation. He was wrong. Noted environmentalist Paul Ehrich wrote in the 1970s that it would be impossible to feed the “six

calories consumed per capita in the third world are 27 per cent higher than they were in 1963. Deaths by swation and malnutrition are fewer than ever before. In 1914 the American Bureau of tines predicted that American oil reserveswould last ten years.Wrong. In 1939 and 1951 the American Department of the Interior said that oil would last 13 years. Wrong. In 1972, the highly influential Club of Rome pvblished a report called ‘Ximits to Growth” which basically stated that world oil reserves totalled 550 billion barrels, and these would be exhausted within roughly ten years. Absolutely wrong: between 1970 and 1990 the world used 600 billion bar-* rels of oil. Today reserves are estimated at some 900 billion barrels, and these don’t even include the tar

or seven billion who may be alive in the year 2000” and that “hundreds of millions of people are going to

continued

to page

starve to death.” Wrong. The facts are simple and (for some) hard to believe: food produc-

tion per head has increased by over 20 per cent since the 1960s. Nor, as some would have the public believe, has this improvement been confined to rich countries. According to the

Food and Agriculture Organization,

The Forum

Section

enables

members of the University of Waterloo community to present views on various issues throughletters to the editor and longer comment pieces.

Letters should not exceed 350 words in length. They can be submitted to: htms@imprint.uwuterh.ca. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or

articles which are judged to be libellous or dis&iminatory on the basis of gender, race,

F d

dighn0f

sexuat

orientatiom

The opinions expressed through columns, comment pieces, letters and other articles are strictly those of the authors, not the opinions of

Imprint.

FORUM

12 continued

from

page

shales of which a single deposit in Alberta contains more than 550 billion barrels.

WPIRG is simply the latest in a long line of groups who wish to perpetuate myths, exaggerations, and outright lies about the environment in order to achieve political and social ends. To quote H.L. Mencken, “The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” -S&naunAhmed 3N E lectrical Engheering

about Everything

How

a Buy Day)

To the Editor,

rice again, WPIRG has exploited the topics of consumption and exploitation. In its Buy Nothing Day insert of November 19, WPIRG misuses statistics in order to persuade ignorant members of society that not only is consumption bad, but that desires should be suppressed and the idea of an anti-everything lifestyle should be followed. First, “by the time a baby born in the United States reaches age 75, he or she will have consumed 43 million gallons of water.” Why is using that prospected amount of water found disturbing? Water is a recyclable resource both by the hand of man and nature itself. To not realise this is to be ignorant of the facts. Water shoreages in small portions of the world (many of which are uninhabited) do

not equate to water shortages on a global scale. Second, “by the time a baby born in the United States reaches age 75, he or she will have used 3375 barrels of oil.” This statistic is completely flawed. Electric and solar car technology is no Ipnger a thing of the

Imprint, Friday, November 26, I 9%

past. Like many other government enforced “pollution” restricting laws, the possibility of required alternate transport such asthe electric or solar options, or mandatory car-pooling, is not out of the realm of near-future possibilities. As well, the statement “within the lifetime of a child born today, virtually all of Earth’s petroleum will be burned and Earth’s fuel tank will be empty” is not only a dramatic assumption, but it is also wrong. The idea that we will run out of petroleum in the near future is based on our current (and past) technology and methods for locating petroleum sources within one kilometre of the Earth’s surface. Like every other area of technology, petroleum-locating devices will be improved upon within the next 75 years and new sources will be found. Third, the United States is one of the world’s leading economic forces. Does it not make sense that they would use more energy and packaging than third-world nations such as Ethiopia? This is an unavoidable situation that should not be looked at in a negative way, for all four packages (paper, glass, plastics, and aluminium) can be reused or recycled. The WPIRG may do many positive things for local and international issues, but manipulating statistics that are trivial and in many caseswrong is not one of them. It cannot be denied that some individuals (and companies for that matter) do exploit people and the environment unjustly, i.e. they use it in an unproductive manner or commit intentional acts of harm on others with no justifiable

purpose. True, humans do act in ways to benefit themselves, but as rational agentsthey real& that treating other humans and the environment in a good way will for the most part benefit themselves more than treating the aforementioned in a bad way. Technological advancement is knowledge at work. If it was not for

The World TradeOrganization Y

ou and I can’t vote: at the World Trade Organization, but its decisions might make the next vote you cast for goverriment meaningless. The World Trade Organization (WTO) was formed in 1994 during international trade negotiations for the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. It was founded without consulting citizens anywhere. The goal of the WTO is to facilitate trade among member nations by promoting free trade and using punitive measures against countries that pose barriers to trade. The problem is how those “barriers” are defined. Measures considered as impediments to free trade include subsidies provided by governments to help local or national businesses survive, safety and environmental standards, and rules ensuring provision of services to all citizens. Barriers could be everything from subsidies for struggling farm economies, though stipulations to keep jobs at home and measures to establish better labour standards in Gveatshops, to protecting local * 2 ‘c

schools from falling into the hands of private companies. The bottom line is that the 134 member countries of the w”TO are under incredible pressure from highly paid, high powered lobbyists around the globe. The lobbyists have one goal: to convince governments to stop protecting people’s right to safe, quality products and to protect big business’ access to big profits. These lobbyists and the big companies they work for have spent the last thirty years convincing governments to get out of the business of governing. Now they want unfettered access to every market in every country, including vital public programs. Not even health care and education have guaranteed protection from these free trade agreements. In June of 1999, US Trade Ambassador Charlene Barchefsky announced that health care and education should be on WTO’s free trade agenda and that means many other countries will follow suit. How do you feel about Wal-Mart running your school? Or about the Canadian government being barred from placing

high standards on prescription drugs and health services? Corporations can’t vote, and our government’s real commitments are to the electorate. Our governments should be committed to citizens, both through domestic policy promises and, more concretely, international ?greements. Governments have signed agreements like the United Nations’ Covenant on Social, Economic, and Cultural Rights and International Labour Organization pacts to ensure that everyone lives in a healthy environment and has access to a decent job, all levels of education, health care, and supports in hard times. This Friday, a delegation of 30 individuals from Ontario (half from K-W) will be flying and driving to Seattle to participate in the alternative WTO talks. Tha aim of these talks is to assert the rights of average citizens in protecting the public commons from the consequences of the construction of the corporate global economic monolith, will be attended by tens of thousands of people from this continent and from around the world.

and innovaof this article in

didn’t speak up because I was a Prot; estant. Then they came for me and no one spoke up because there was no one left”- Martin Niemoller. “When another man cuts his finger, it doesn’t hurt me at all.” This

the right to life for all people from

technological

advances

tions, the writers

question would not be able to physically write this piece (computer, paper, and/or other writing implements), nor would they be able to express their ideas (language, advanced thought etc). Instead of looking the gift horse

in the mouth, it is suggestedthat the WPIRG thank innovators past, present,

and future

for their contri-

butions toward the advancement of humankind, and ultimately, the betterment of every human’s life. rtimKinnu?l 3N Philosophy

barbed

wire

(when

asked if it had

ubothered” him). This is my attempt, however insignificant, to make sure that I never dismissimportant issuesor situations simply because they might require passion an&or. perseverance. (For the record, fanaticism is just asscary as apathy - it’s all about balance, baby!) I don’t want to become desen-

4tephnie 2NSociut

Abortion

To the Editor,

disagreed with Eric Walle’s praise of apathy. It appeared in an earlier issueof Imprint (November 5); however, I didn’t write anything when I first read it because, well, I was just

too apathetic. My reaction wassomething to the effect of “Hmmm, I don’t agree with that at all!” I have been finally

goaded into action by my conscience, Apathy is not good! I have two quotations which illustrate my point: “In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak . up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then

they

came

for

the Jews

and I

didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn’t speak up be-

Humpy Dumpty had a great falLfrom

sanity.

Griecken Development

cause I wasn’t a trade unionist.Then they came for the Catholics and I

Studies

aqd freedom

To theEditor,

read with interest Alex Cassar’s letter in the November 19 issueof Imprint, which discussed the violation of freedom of speech, conscience

and religion of individuals like Linda Gibbons. She hasservedtime in prison for her silent pro-life witness outside

abortion clinics in Toronto. The letter also related the violation of freedom of the press when attempts were made to gather information on this story. 1 agree that thesefreedoms must be upheld; even more

fundamentd

than

thesS,

is the right to life itself. Perhaps Canada as a nation can truly honour the memory of those who have’ fought to preserve our freedom when we have recognized though,

of conception

until natu-

-Gista Simpson 4A@bcbemMy

was spoken by the farmer whose property went right up to Auchwitz’s

sitized to life.

I’ve got him u against the W a; e

the moment ral death.

Lighten

up, cyclists

Totbdditor, to sound like Elmer Elephant, but the number of unsafe cyclists f have seen lately warrants me:writing this quick note. I am concerned by how many cyclists I see (or don’t see) riding at night without lights. This situation is compounded by the fact that it is getting darker earlier

don’t mean the Safety

and made worse on rainy evenings or by cyclists who wear dark coloured clothing. I am an avid cyclist myself and often ride in the evenings, but I would ask any other night riders to please ensure you can be seen by motorists at night. The same goes for runners driving up Albert Street one dark and wet night I easily saw a pack of runners crossingthe road blocks away because they were smart enough to be wearing running bibs with reflective strips, I tip my bike helmet to safe cyclists & runners that have the red

flashing mini-lights or reflective strips which can be easily seen from quite a distance. Please gOspend a bit of this week’s beer kitty On some cheap life insurance. It would be tragic and ~en~eless~v seepnyvne set hurt Gnply because they didn’t spend a few bucks to be more visible to other

vehicles in the dark. 4tkhardHands

Imprint, Friday, November

FORUM

26, I999

“If you separated from the rest of Canada, what would you nurne your country?”

Carrie Lindeboom

lcCanada,

because

Rob Kirkby 3A Environmetztul

“Why

not Quebec

Bunmi Ogundimu 1AScienceandBusiness

“Bouchard-ville.”

“Q&-bon.”

Kevin Haney 2BMecbaniuIlEngineering

Deanna Wayne-Westman IAArts

Jessica Kwik 4N Health Studies

UBroke.n

“Ko-Ko

‘TVew France,”

I have no imagination.”

“Bye-bye

Science

again?”

Alison -

~(Mv#eY

English.”

Coyle

land.”

Krikor ‘Xo-Ko” Boyajian ZA Civil E ngineering

Stuart Cottrell 3A Math and Accountittg

academic career? Then nominate them for the Distinguished TAAward For details contact Veronica at

fdVpt?d@fedS.UW*rloo;ca

PHCENIX Loohng for Submissions Poems, prose, essays, short stories, photography and artwork accepted. Hand in submissions (on disk) to the FEDS Office, SLC 1102

OFF-CAMPUS DONS MOVBE NIGHT

Sat, Wov, 27th atMll~fn

FREE-snacks, anddrinksIbringyourownmug1

Stop the violence School of the Americas protest changes lives of participants KRHSTA LORD AND ANDREA MEINYCHUK spec/b/to h?prhr

ovember 16 marked the IOyear anniversary of a Salvadorian massacre of six Jesuit priests, their housekeeper, and her daughter. Their crime had been supporting social movements calling for the redistribution of wealth and land and more rights for students and peasants. A UN panel concluded that 19 of the 26 officers involved in this incident had been trained at the United States-run School of the Americas (SOA).

4,800 people engaged in a powerful act of civil disobedience. While St. Jerome’s University held a mass to commemorate these deaths, we traveled to Fort Benning, Gevrgia to participate in an annual protest that demands the closing of tile School of the Americas.

The school opened in Panama in the early 1940s and was moved during the cold war to Fort Benning, where the U.S. could closely monitor and dictate its teachings. Its stated mandate is to train Latin American soldiers to bring dcmocracy and human rights to their countries. This policy meant stifling the church, students, peasants, human rights organizations, and guerrilla movements pushing for change. These people were all branded as Marxist. Soldiers trained at the school learn methods of counter insurgency, such as interrogation using torture and manipulation, which have been used to carry out some of the most brutal massacres and assassinations in Latin America. Entire villages continue to be rampaged, children are being killed, women raped, and the mutilated bodies of community leaders are displayed publicly to instill fear in the people. The school’s defenders assert that the school’s effectiveness is reflected in the fact that 10 of their alumni have gone on to become presidents in Latin America. They fail to mention that these presidents, including Anastasio Somoza, Manuel Noriega, and August0 Pinochet, were not democratically elected. It was clear by the numbers at the demonstration that a growing number of people are alert to the

One sign reads: I am not a guerrilla. I am not a drug lord. I am I 2years old. Why was I driven from my home?? existence of the SOA, and the growing strength of voices opposed to the continued U.S. government funding of the school is hopeful. The governmentcontinuesto come up with new

justifications for its existence, such as combatting the drug trade. In response to critics of the school, military officials claim that the few “bad apples” that have gradu-

ated cannot take away from the good that has come from their training. Rufina Sanchez would disagree with this assertion. She is one of two survivors of a large-scale massacre that occurred in El Mozote, a community in El Salvador. Asshe spoke to the Fort Renning crowd, her tears only enhanced the determination present in her voice. Her speech and others’ echoed the message that the school should be shut down. A funeral procession took place at the protest where each person held a cross or star with the name of a person killed by, or as a result of, direction from an SOA graduate. These 4,800 people proceeded to cross onto the base, engaging in a powerful act of civil disobedience. Approximately 100 people took part in high-risk civil disobedience. They covered their bodies with red paint and lay as if dead on the ground around the coffins, attempting to demonstrate the atrocities committed at the hands of SOA graduates. We were in awe at the massive amount of students from all across North America who attended the event. We hope that through our experience the news of this school spreads through Canada. Those interested in learning more should check out http:$www.soaw.org and the SOA’s official website.

What about Bob,Water-Lou? An American’s interest seems to outshine Canada’sin NWT

ho says that Americans don’t care about what goes on in Canada? If you have any interest in politics in the far north, then you probably already know of CanadEl’s potentially renamed territory, “Bob”, presently known as the Northwest Territories. For those of you who don’t know anything about the great name de bate, Bob Mellen would be happy to fill you in. Bob Mellen, an 18 year-old native of Louisville, Kentucky, has launched a full-blown informal marketing campaign that ;Lims to rename the Northwest Territories. His website, bobcanada.com, outlines the debate in full detail, describing the birth of Canada’s new province, Nunavut, and the government of the Northwest Territories’ concern over renaming their territory to coincide with the more appealing name that their sister terri-

tory inherited. According the Northwest

to bobcanada.com, Territories held

The government will no longer be “big brother.” survey open to residents to rename their territory. The present name, “Northwest Territories,” won the battle, claiming over 6,000 votes in a phone poll. However, a mere 5,980 votes behind was rrBob” in second place, and Mellen is keen on winning the war. Bobcanada.com refers con-

stantly to “The Man,” analogous to George Orwell’s “Big Brother” in 1984, to add an odd anti-state edge to the site. Using this comparison, Mellen attempts to show that the government would not be exercising democracy if it didn’t offer a renaming referendum to residents of the Northwest Territories. In fact, he publishes a letter on the site that he wrote to the Coordinator of the Special Committee on Western Identity, Lynda Comerford, calling for the government’s admittance that it should leave the decision up to the residents. He also notes that, although Mellen is an American, “he is deeply concerned about a certain issue (the renaming of NWT) which is vital to the lives of tens of thousands of Canadians,” Mellen also publishes letters he received from NWT government on the site. In one letter, Mellen accuses NWT Press Secretary, Judy Langford, of reading the premier’s

e-mail. Langford wrote to Mellen expressing her concern over online forms being sent to her e-mail ad-

‘CBOb’syour uncle! “) via bobcanada.com. dress (bobcanada.com supplies two forms on the site for users to fill out and send to Comerford or Premier Jim Antoine). Mellen mentions in his defense that the form replies are directed to Comeford and the premier, and that the e-mails she receives are not possible unress she is reading the premier’s e-mail. Mellen may be implying that government leaders don’t read their own mail. Some of Mellen’s reasons for renaming Northwest Territories “Bob” include the idea that the gov-

ernment would no longer be “big brother,” because “Bob’s your uncle!,” the RCMI? could be renamed “Bobbies,” “Bob says. . .” sounds much better than “the government of the Northwest Territories says. . “; and, the Bob & Doug Mackenzie River flows through it. From Mellen’s published text, visitors may conclude that bobcanda.com is a pure farce. However, Mellen sites that many media giants have picked up on his motives, including The Wall Street Journal and .Net Magazine, and he has rzceived site accolades from Web porralslikeYahoo Canada and Indiegeek. Even though Mellen will probably - no, wait, definitely - lose his protest, his site proves to be mildly amusing. There’s nothing more odd than reading that “Louisville, Kentucky is the world headquarters for the campaign to re-name the Canadian Northwest Territories, ‘Bob’.” There’s no use now but to follow the trend, eh University of Water-Lou? l

Imprint, Friday, November

CArtmE

26,

1999

FEATURES

Dragon on the loose at UW UNPEB~~M

lmpk71 slafl

he Waterloo Region Dragon Boat Festival is sure they’ve got something stu dents can look forward to. After holding an annual festival over the past years, the Festival is opening the lake especially to student participants with the addition of an unofficial college and university provincial championship. L 1 o y d Heywood, a Recreation and Leisure professor at UW is helping to see that this event is promoted on campus. “We anticipate having between 20-30 colleges and universities participate,” said Hcywood. “We’d be happy in North America. with 12, but at this point, enthusiasm for this event is running high.” The event will be held over the weekend of July 20,23 and includes boat races, dragon dancing, music, arts and crafts, food, beer, sun

and lots of fun. The Elmira Kiwanis CIub is co-ordinating this event. They are, however, looking for student volunteers to sit on a steering committee that would help the “otd guys and women” know what students are looking for in the weekend. Anyone interested in assisting in this way can contact Heywood on campus at extension 3 097. If students are interested in rowing, they can create their own teams of 22, or watch for further information in the spring term about getting involved through Campus Recreation. Kiwanis will provide training for teams who wish to participate and the cost currently stands at approximately $30 per team member. Money rasied from this event goes back into the community. Anyone interested in forming a team can contact Heywood at extension 3097, or Jane Varley of Campus Recreation at 6340.

For God so loved the world, tht hg~e his only begotten Son, t bat whosoever believet h in him should not perish, but have everlasting if& &AWI 3:M)

e saw last week that God’s love prompted Him to give of Himself. Now we will consider what a special gift his “only” hegotten Son is. In the book of Luke, confirmed by scholars to be an accurate account of the events recorded in it,we read three stories of encounters which Jesus Christ had with peopIe having an only child (7:1 l-17; 8:41-42, 49-56; 9:3842j. In the first instance, a widow’s only son died and Jesus raised him from the dead. The second account is about a prominent man whose only daughter just died and again Jesus raised her from the dead. The final record is of a man whose only child, a son, was possessed by a demon. In that case, Jesuscast out the demon, healed the child, and gave him back to his father. In each of those situations, the parents were very concerned for their child, as would be expected. The relationship between a parent and child is a very special one and even more so in the case of an only child. Today we still understand the importance of these relationships, even if we may have experienced troubles with our own parents. It’s interesting that the first place love is mentioned in the Bible is in the context of a father-son relatlonship (Genesis 22:2). In fact, the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis brings to mind a much greater father and son

pair - God the Father and His only Son. God required Abraham to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice to demonstrate his faith in God. Abraham compIied, in spite of the fact that God had previously promised that great blessing would come through Isaac ,and his descendants, Lest we think this a harsh account, read Hebrews 11: 1 i’- 19, in which we see it wasa test from God, and Abraham’s obedience came from his be1 ief in God’s ability to raise the dead. All of those events, however, were merely foreshadowing what God would do centuries later. God gave His only Son as a sacrifice for the sins of the world so that great blessing would come to all people. Just as Abraham gave his son Isaac, the most precious thing to him, God, on an infinitely greater scale, gave His only Sun. Not only is the Lord Jesus Christ God’s only Son, He is aIso the only way to get to God. Some people think it doesn’t matter what you believe, and I guess that’s true if you don’t care where you’ll be spendingallof eternity, but any sensible person would be concerned about their eternal destiny. There aren’t multiple paths to God; there is only one way. As the Lord Jesus Christ Himself said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through h/le” Uohn 146). God freely offers forgiveness to everyone who believes in His only Son, but He won’t make up your mind for you. If you don’t receive the Jesus Christ as your Saviour, you will not be forgiven, but will face the punishment for your sins. Believe in Him today.

A Mediterranean feast Sol6 Restaurant and Wine Bar 83 Erb Street, Waterloo Mediterranean Cuisine Fully Licensed Informal Dress * * * Y2out of five MARK

h7p7.f

QCHMN sfa!Y

he open wood ceiling and the warmth of the fire draw you into a wonderful dining atmosphere as you seat yourself at Sol& The moderately priced cosmopolitan eatery is a comfortable and pleasant step away from the hustle and bustle of the world, complete with a relatively large wine

menu and a variety of entree options, Yet, despite

irs beauty

and the splendid food, the restaurant lacks in ingenuity and requires a bit more maturity in its service staff before it can become one of K-W’s gofd-star restaurants. The meal began with B half Ctre of So& house wine, an order of bruschetta and tile complimentary bread with olive oii and bakamic vinegar. The wine and breadcomplemented each other nicely. The bruschena was an amazing bouquet of fresh vegetables and Parmesan,

however it wasn’t served hot enough, SOIFS

Mediterranean

nienu

‘,

features

wood-fired pizzas, pastas,chicken and fish. 1 ordered the Tuscan Chicken Breast complete with mushrooms, roasted garlic and a superb Chianti sauce. The dish camewith basmati rice

and rapini. The chicken breast was perfecriy cooked and the Chianti sauce added unique flaiour and jus for what could hve been adry dish. The rapini wds perfectly textuted and made for a filling

yet very eiegant

plate.

At $14.95, the entree was well-priced and made for a significant portion, despite its lack of creativity. My guest ordered the Creamy Wild Mushroom Risotto. At $12.90, the dish is served with shaitots and garlic with grilled vegetables julienne and Parmesan. The extremely rich dish was a full experience for the p&tte and the exceptional vegetables ensured the meal met all culinary needs, The portion was quite large and the full body of the risotto made my guest unable to finish. Despite the variety on SoIC’s menu, there is no particular edge to the restaurant’s ambience.The gentle yellow w& are filled with an interesting combination of artwork and crab, but do not present a stylistic choir onthe part of the designers. The real wood-burning oven

and fabulous stone work is hidden behind a of small two~pcrson benches.

tow

The restaurant requires a more construtted feel to leave a lasting impression beyond its scrumptious tastes,

Dessert,made up of fresh raspberry and was a perfect end to the meal. This &tively netwrestaurant is situated on the Seagram property adjacent to Waterloo Town Square and occupies a refurbished piece of the former brewery, Service at the restaurant reflectedthe fairty new feel of the establishment, Ranging from over-service at lemon sarbet,

the meal’s start, to under-service as the evening progressed, Sol& requires a bit more time before its staff cdn hope to ensure the right dining experience for its patrons, Sol6 is a wonderhl addition tu the Watexloo restaurant scene and its Meditcrra-

nean style is reflected in the culinary prowess af the chef. The overall experience is quite pleasant and the warmatmosphere m&e this a great destination for a night out.

ast week, my boyfriend and I discussed the topic of name changes. It happened quite out of the blue when he sent me an e-mail full of random thoughts, one being, “Just so you know, I’m not changing my surname to Flea? Now, my boyfriend and I are not in the position to be married any time soon, but it touches on an interesting subject, What do gay people do with their names when they get married? First, I guess I should clarify. Homosexuals can’t get married. In Ontario, they can qualify to have their relationship recognized as a “samesex couple,” provided they cohabit for one year (or three years for some laws). One of the amendments made in Bill Five concerns the “Change of Name Act.” Common law and same-sex couples are allowed to change their names in the same manner as heterosexual couples who marry. Beyond that, any person can change their first or last names at any time, regardless of their marital status (as long as they haven’t committed any criminal offences). It is traditional in our society for married couples to adopt the surname of the husband. Of course, this doesn’t work in same-sex couples. So what do we do? Well, there really aren’t any cultural norms established yet. Currently, the most common practice is for both partners to keep their birth names. This is traditional mostly because countries like the U.S. do not recognize same-sex couples at ail. The biggest drawback, of course is that it implies a weak bond between the two, and it doesn’t indicate to strangers that they are in fact a couple. However, it is a very good choice when it comes to independence and gender-

role perspectives, because neither partner needs to submit to the other by abandoning their name. Another option would be for one partner to take their spouse’s surname. This implies to others a much stronger commitment between the two, and is probably the best choice if the couple intends to start a family. However, there are no rules for whose name gets kept. It’s an important decision because people are going to assume that the one who kept their name is the more masculine, dominant one, and don’t we all just hate stereotypes? Personally, I feel the choice should be made on more arbitrary terms such as, Whose name is easier to spell and pronounce? Whose name isshorter? Does one of the partners have a professional name which should be kept? Is one surname in jeopardy of becoming extinct? Which name appears alphabetically first? It is also possible to create a new surname based on a hyphenated combination of the partners’ two surnames. I’m not a big fan of this option because names get too long, but it is another way to avoid issues of dominance and gender roles. It doesn’t, however, remove the question of whose name appears first. In the end, homosexual couples have a lot of options when considering marriage and name changes. Although the options are the same for heterosexua1 couples, gay couples can actually debate the options because there isn’t the same cultural pressure for the c(woman” to drop her surname. And you might be curious what I might do? Personally, I wouldn’t mind giving up my surname. But I’m quite attached to it, so I would probably keep it is a middle name, just for historical purposes.

FEATURES

Imprint, Friday, November

26,

I999

Davis’ mix of humour and fact a success Living Indiana Jones travels to UW

ou may have heard of the global biodiversity crisis also known as the mass extinction of plants and animals. Now we have another diversity crisis to worry about, but this time it’s the extinction of cultures. I-Iuman cultures. Wade Davis is known as a “living Indiana Jones.” He’s an anthropologist, and he travels the globe visiting far-off indigenous cultures, melding himself into their ways of life and uncovering their deepest mysteries. All for the benefit of science, of course. His explorations also benefitted the audience at November 12’s talk kicking off the weekend-long Biodiversity R Multinationals cgrlference (given by the Global Community Centre). Davis, a tall, handsome figure in a iong black coat, gave the immediate impfrssion of a seasoned international traveler. He talked with practised ease, immersing his audia ence in a river of never-ending words. He started by talking about life as a kid in the boonies of British Columbia and of his transisition to Harvard. At Harvard he met his mentor, Richard Evans Schultes, who sent Davis off for 1.5 months in the Amazon jungle, kicking off his long career of dare-devil cultural explorations. In his immensely entertaining dialogue, Wade unfolded the wonder of exploring other cultures for the audience. It would be irnpossible to reprint the entire talk here, so here are some of the highlights. What he might say when .he arrives in a new indigenous culture is “I’m here for six months, you’re going to house and feed me, and guess what, I’m going to study your sex life.” He called the experience of taking a certain shamanistic healing drug “like being shot out of a rifle barrel lined with baroque paintings and landing on a sea of electricity.”

Regarding the native sense of land, he said intuition is the “idea that the land itself only exists because it is breathed into existence by the human imagination.” Davis also said that the pop image of shaman as a fatherly figures is false. “I’ve been with a lot of shaman, and I’ve never met one who wasn’t psychotic.” About the three-toed sloth he met up with, he said, “It only defecates every three weeks. Now, I had a lot of professors at Harvard who did that but it wasn’t a biological adaptation.” Regarding voodoo, a religion that allows its worshippers to become gods, Davis said it’s “a quintessentially democratic faith.” He also said that a Harvard prof said the Dalai Lama was “that religious kook.” Interestingly, there is so much water flowing in the Amazon River that if you emptied Lake Ontario, you could refill it in three hours from the Amazon. At one point Davis described the coca plant (which produces cocaine). It’s a healthy and integral part of the mountain culture in Columbia. In fact, they virtually survive on it alone. No one had ever bothered to do a nutritional study of the plant until Davis went there. His surprising discovery was that the plant that produces cocaine contains lots of vitamins, calcium and enzymes, forming a very healthy diet. Davis also usedpoetic language to describe the Penan of Borneo, clearly one of his favorite cultures. The &nan were the subject of his story in the August issue of National Geographic Davis originally went to Borneo to find “a place wet with the innocence of birth.” He looked for it among the Penan - but sadly, instead he found a homeland never free from the sound of machinery, as South East Asian logging interests mine the land of the Penan for hardwood. Many other cultures face a similar di-

Vrn here for six months, and guess what, I’m going to study your sex life.”

lemma. It’s a sad state, but over half of the languages on this planet are no longer being taught to children. As the soul of a culture, language is an important marker of its survival. When languages disappear, culture soon follows. Despite the massive destruction of biological and cultural diversity on this planet, philosophised Davis, not all is lost. Nunavut, Canada’s newest territory, is an extraordinary experiment, he emphasized, because it gives a native culture, the Inuit, a chance at increased self government. He warned about a fire burning over the Earth, taking with it ancient cultures. Despite what we may think of the practices , , ._ : . ‘.. .: . .. <; :. . ;_.,_ ‘ . , .. ,, _. : . : _ . ~.~ : . . : . . . . : :+ L .:.....I. .:: .,. ,> . . . .: . , c : , . . ‘ ) , , . , : : : $.Zi ; : ; . i : i : , . . . . .: . > . . , . . : . . : : . : <i.$ ,:.: _.___

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i It’s 4 p,m, on a Wednesday and you just got home from your third exam. Your fourth ‘i and final one is tomorrow. YQU need to da ’ some serious all-night cramming, but you know around I1 o’clock you’re going to lose 1; any sembfance of energy, For fuel, you need ” a high calorie, high energy snack. Forget ,: about nutrition. You need a sugar boost. .:. :; What can you make?

; Scenario

F You’ve finally made it home for the holidays. Exam stress is a thing of the past (at least till i next term), and you’re ready to kick back, ” relax and enjoy the time off. But then your parents tell you the family is invited over to # ; Aunt Rosie’s tomorrow for potluck and you have to bring something, Groan! What can i you whip up with minimal effort? Consider solving both these scenarios :: with t)le following recipe for basic chocolate zk truffles. Sounds decadent, but believe me it’s * pretty quick and unbelievably easy.You might :; even buy a holiday tin at the dollar store and i fill it with these goodies for that hard to buy ’ for‘<pa3,person onyour %. Fift list. <<ax** wq.4xw~ ,M++A %-*

Ingredients semi-sweet

+ 1 can of condensed milk l I tablespoon of vanilla extract l assorted coatings, such ascslaured sprinkles, icing sugar, or cinnamon

525 g of chocolate

chips,

1. Melt the chocolate chips and condensed milk over a low heat. Make

sure you stir frequently because that will stick and burn pretty quickly. 2, Remove mixture from heat, stuff

3. Stir in the vanilla extract, 4. Chill mix far two hours, or until firm. 5. Scoop out small amounts of the

:I ” ;. Ii

G ” ?k )I ‘.

2 mixture with a spoon or your fingers, i and shape them into balls, approximately 3 or 4 cm in size. Continue for iZ

all of your mixture. 6. Put a few tablespoons of each of your coatings in a small plastic bag, 7. Drop a few of the truffles in a bag and shake the contents to coat the

chocolate. 8. Repeat

step 7 for all your truffles.

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g These tasty little morse& will give you a f definite sugar hit. Their’&&$atey sweet‘. “.:..I .

nessis pretty intense, s?zj@$Mk&$~S~antto [ keeg the milk close: XcJeww~ .vw+x+i+# .

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Robot flies, rats swim in milk spawn off monstrous robots that will eventually &slave humanity, as in The Matrix and Tminator2, IBM officials declined comment.

IBM

unveils

supercomputer

Last week, Lawrence Livemore National Laboratory in California began operating using IBM’s newest supercomputer offering to the world of research: ASCI Blue. The system consists of 5 800 high-end RISC System 6000 servers linked together to combine their processing power, has 2.6 terabytes ( 1 terabyte = 1,000 gigabytes ) of memory and 62.5 terabytes of storage. The system is capable of performance of four teraflops, or four trillion number operations per second. The laboratory will use this processing power to simulate the aging and performance of U.S. nuclear arsenal, however, this supercomputer wifi not be super enough, as an estimated 100 teraflops are needed to simulate a nuclear explosion. Other non-military applications include simulation of the human body, cancer research, and solving the mysteries of genetic code. When asked whether this latest supercomputer will

Portable MI13 player to store more music than you can pirate Korean electronics company HanCo has recently announced plans to retease a portable MP3 player that can store approximately 81 hours of music in the form of 4.86 GB. The player was designed by Compaq and uses a 33-MHz Motorola processor, has an LCD display, a USB connection for downloading songs, and uses a rechargeable lithium ion battery for 10 hours of playback. The unit weighs a hefty 9.9 ounces, and is larger than most portable MP3 players on the market right now. The product, named the Personal Jukebox, will be available in large quantities sometime during the year 2000, with pricing in the range of US$SOO. HanGo also has plans to release a 6CB version that will cost approximately the same amount.

Spy

agencies to get help from robotic fly

Researchers at the University of California are busy building the latest marvel of science - a robotic fly to help spy on people. Cleverly nicknamed C(Robofly,n the tiny robot looks and flies like a fly, with an addition of a built-in camera and a navigation system to direct itself, Weighing only 43 milligrams -about as much as a housefly - Robofly will be able to maneuver like a real fly, using solar power and a pizoelectric actuator, flapping its four solidsteel wings 180 times a second. Its developers have visions of Robofly flying through the rubble after an earthquake, looking for survivors, or checking out nuclear reactors. However, the people who pay their salaries and finance their project, the US Office of Naval Research, have different ideas for the use of something that is very small, fast, quiet, and has an integrated camera. The project is expected to be completed sometime during the year 2004.

Rats swimmine in milk related to cell”phones? Dr. Henry Lai, professor of bioengineering at the University of Washington, has shown a fink between long-term memory loss in rats and exposure to cell phone radiation. The experiment involved Dr. Lai teaching rats how to swim to a platform in the middle of a water-filled tank. After all rats learned that skill, powdered milk was put into the tank, making it impossible for the rats to see where the platform is and making them rely on their sense on the direction. Then, when the experiment couldn’t get any more exciting, half the rats were exposed to small doses of radiation similar to those emitted by a cell phone. All of the exposed rats forgot where the platform was, while the rest happily swam to the platform. While there is no direct correlation between the results of this experiment and the effect of cell phone radiation on humans, experts in the field suggest that further studies should be conducted relating long-term memory loss and cell phones.

UFOs, booze and sleep . KATE

No this

~CHWAS~ /qmM St../7

mammoth clone time around

Cloning a Siberian mammoth that was found frozen is not going to be possible. Despite the DNA retaining genetic information, it is highly fragmented. Dr. Alex Greenwood, a molecular biologist at the American Museum of Natural History, said that he has had a chance to examine DNA from the mammoth which was found in the permafrost in Alaska where it died almost 14,000 yearsago. Being frozen, the mammoths were well preserved and Dr. Greenwood was happy to report that he has some “samples of bone marrow that stink like rotting meat.”

Alcohol good for

is you

Researchers have just given you reason to have another drink. They have found that a small amount of alcohol may possibly help stop damage suffered during heart attacks. The research, done on lab mice, showed that alcohol helped in as many as 70 per cent

of test cases. This could also lead to prevent damage suffering during open heart surgery or heart transplants.

The

itsy

bitsy

spider

A British woman went to her doctor complaining of suffering from headaches and hearing strange noises. When the doctor looked into her ear he saw that a spider has nested itself beside her eardrum. Although he was able to remove the spider with a syringe, the doctor did raise the possibility with his patient that the spider could have been female wanting to find a relaxing place to lay her eggs.

did You

need

your

sleep

Researchers have discovered that lack of sleep can sometimes be just a dibilitatiiq as drinking too much alcohol. What is worse is that lack of sleep in younger years can lead to breaking down the immune system and possible diseases in old age. There is just another reason to put aside the textbooks and get some rest. What good is a university degree when you are dead?

Weo’nlvwant

and

down

The Coca-Cola Company is currently testing new machines that would be able to tell the surrounding temperature. By knowing the temperature the machines would also be able to adjust prices accordingly, so the hotter it gets, the higher the price of a can of Coke, Tests are also apparently underway on machines that would be able to tell the price on the Pepsi machine beside it, also allowing the Coke machine to adjust its price for better competition.

Noah’s flood it really happen2

Scientists have located a beach over 550 feet below the Black Sea. Using radiocarbon dating techniques, scientists have estimated that the remains of freshwater mollusks found at the site are around 7,s 00 years old, while saltwater species began to appear around 6,900 years ago. These findings have led scientists to believe that there was quite likely a violent flood that occured during the 600-year period between the emergences of the two species.

Meteors

and

UFOs

Last week, the Leonid meteor shower proved to be the heaviest storm of shooting stars in 33 years. Onlookers in the Middle East and Europe got the best view of the night, with skies raining 1,700 stars per hour. The shower was impossible to see in Waterloo due to overcast skies. Residents in the states of Wisconsin, Iowa and Illinois called authorities reporting airplane crashes, fireballs and possible UFO activity. The next meteor shower is said to take place in 33 years.

Cradling the phone can kill you A British psychologist was rushed to the hospital after a bone in his jaw popped out, cut through the skin and stabbed the shocked psychologist in the neck. The psychologist had been talking to a patient on the telephone for over an hour. Doctors have advised the psychologist to refrain from cradeling the phone between his ear and his shoulder. Poor guy!

Huskies bite Warriors in Halifax 0

n November 20, for the first time in history, the Warriors travelled to the East Coast to play the Saint Mary’s Huskies in the Atlantic Bowl, The Warriors were nicknamed “The Cinderella Story” after upsetting Western and Laurier in the playoff season. The Huskies were unbeaten in the past nine games. The result was to a thrilling match at Husky Stadium. Unfortunately, it is St. Mary’s who is going on to the Vanier Cup to face the Lava1 Rouge et Or after stunning the black and gold 21-14. Waterloo had the first big drive only a few minutes into the game. A 94-yard drive was capped off by a 27-yard touchdown pass Chris Kreibich. Saint Mary’s was expecting the run and was caught off guard when Wilkinson threw the pass. The crowd of 8,200 was very quiet as they watched in shock as their team was run over by Waterloo. Saint Mary’s response was silenced by Chris Wolf when he sacked quarterback Ryan Jones on the next play. This set up a Huskies punt by Burlington native Jay Currie. Currie made a smart decision to fake the punt after realizing it would have been blocked had he proceeded. His efforts to gain the first down failed by just a few inches and turned the ball over to Waterloo. Mike Bradley scored Waterloo’s next touchdown after breaking through three tackles and running 33 yards. A holding penalty by Grant Baechler broke Bradley’s heart as he was told to bring it back and try again. After a few more plays including a helpful run by Wilkinson, Waterloo found themselves again in front of the end zone at the two-yard line, left with three tries to get it in. A hand-off to Mike Bradley was unsuccessful as he was abruptly stopped by a Husky defense, which averages over 136 kilograms on the defensive line. In the next play, Wilkinson tried to dive it in himself and was stopped again. With only one more chance, the gambler, Coach Triantafilou, decided to go for it. After the snap, Wilkinson was immediately sacked and threw a wild pass into the end zone which was picked off by defensive back Curtis Nash. This failed effort for a touchdown was the turning point of the game as the Warrior’s momentum evaporated into the air. For the next two quarters, the game would be controlled by the Huskies and they would score 2 1 straight points, putting

This wan? the only time the Warriorsgot kicked in the balls.

them in the lead until the end. On the next drive, Saint Mary’s took the, ball from their one-yard line and went 109 yards down the field for a touchdown, which was scored by Travis Tyler. Saint Mary’s halfback, Dean Jones, played the game of his life and was named MVP of the game. He had 143 yards rushing, the longest being a &yard race for a touchdown after racing past Richard Hock who had chosen the wrong side to roll off a block. A genuine cannon was fired from the sideline whenever the Huskies scored points or kicked-off, This was very disruptive to the Warrior special teams crew as Matt M&night was caught off guard when the cannon fired less than 10 feet from where he was standing. Seconds later, M&night fumbled the punt return and the ball was recovered deep in the Warrior side of the field by Jason Tibbits. With 36 seconds left in the second quarter, Wilkinson’s pass was picked off by centre back Joseph Barbati. The Huskies, who were still going strong since stuffing Waterloo at the one-yard line, produced a driving play led by running back Dean Jones which brought the ball to the two-yard line. Daryl Tharby wasn’t going to let anyone get into his end zone and he proved it by rocking Dean Jones and forcing Saint Mary’s to kick a field goal in the dying seconds of the first half. A player who never stopped to amaze Warrior fans and coaching staff as to why he isn’t locked away in a prison was Brad Chalmers. Chalmers had no class as he produced dirty play after dirty play, especially hitting Wilkinson after the whistle. Wilkinson was spitting blood at the end of the game as a result of Chalmers’ antics. A disputed tackle by Curtis Nash on Chris Kreibich angered the Waterloo bgnch and many fans. A highly thrown ball made Kreibich jump in the air as Nash tackled his-legs from underneath him, before he touched the ball. Kreibich is 1.87 meters and could have quite possibly caught Wilkie’s pass, but the referee ruled it uncatchable. Many thought the referee was wrong. Warrior momentum picked up after they blocked an attempted field goal and limited Saint Mary’s to 13 points. On the next play, Mike Bradley ran 35 yards for the first down but the ball was brought back due to a holding penalty by Grant Baechler. Ryan Wilkinson decided to run the ball next and he gained 20 yards but the ball was brought back again by another holding penalty by Grant Baechler. At this point the Warriors had gone from aggressive to frustrated, Waterloo gambled many times during the game on the third and down play. They won as many times as they lost. It hurt the team very much when the gamble failed as they gave the ball to the Huskies four times by turnovers on downs. The Warriors lost the game as a result of too many penalties and turnovers. Memories of the regular season resurfaced where they had played more poorly than so far in the playoffs. Because of ;hese setbacks, the Warriors were unable to stay focused on winning the game and were caught up in being upset with themselves for not playing their best. At the end of the day, they had turned over the ball seven times and had lost 90 yards on eight penalties. The most dramatic play of the second half was made by Waterloo. Ryan Wilkinson avoided being sacked by rolling to the right of the field. Unfortunately, so did three defenders. Wilkinson rolled to the left and found himself 30 yards behind

Outofmyway, l’mgoingin totheendzone. the line of scrimmage. Looking down the field, he saw Reza Celik and threw 47 yards to get the first down and almost give Coach Triantafilou a heart attack. On the next two plays, a 1.5yard run by Eddie Kim set up Mike Bradley for a touchdown. At this point, there was still 63 7 left in the fourth quarter and Waterloo hopes were still up. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough time to score another touchdown, With only 11 seconds left in the game, Waterloo’s final play was composed of Mike Bradley and a handoff by Ryan Wilkinson, his last as a quarterback for Waterloo+ Bradley burst through three separate tackles before finally being brought down by two linebackers. Mike Bradley has won many awards in his football career, but he stated, “I would trade them all for achance at the Vanier Cup.” Bradley was overcome with emotion at the end of the game as his season ended and he was faced with the fact that he would have to wait another year to try for his dream again, For the 100 plus Waterloo fans who made the 2011 kilometre journey to Halifax, it was a disappointing day. Thirtyfour of the 35 points scored in the game were in the opposite end of the field. Included in the black and gold crowd were the Warrior Band, the Superfans, moms and dads, cheerleaders, Waterloo alumni and the brave few who rented cars to be at Husky Stadium to support their team. Saint Mary’s fans felt they needed to taunt Waterloo fans and came over to the stands to yell insults. One Husky fan should have stayed home as it was discovered that he was so drunk that he had pissed himself and didn’t even know it. Thank you to the Waterloo Warriors for the 11 spectacular games this year and congratulations on an Ontario championship season. Good luck to the non-returning players in wherever life may take you. It was a great ride, Stay black and gold. The Warriors would also like to thank the many fans who came out to support them throughout the season. Continue to check out the webpage at http://www.warriorfootball.uwaterloo.ca, as plans are underway to add season statistics, a tribute to this year’s fifth-year players and a fans only page.

Waterloo swims ,fast at Torontoy~ Men and women

he Warrior swim team travelled to the University of Toronto on November 20, to compete in a 17 team invitational meet, including teams from Quebec. The women competed in the morning and swam well, with Jen Sweny winning the 200m Individual Medley (I.M.) and placing fifth in the gruelling 200m butterfly. Julie Steinburg finished second in the 4OOm I.M. and third in the 1OOm breaststroke and

finish

well at 3arsity

200m freestyle. Lindsay Dennis swam some strong backstroke to place third in the 2OOm, fifth in the 1OOm and eighth in the 50m. Captain VaI Walker placed fourth in the 50m and 200m breaststroke as well as eighth in the 200m fly. The Warrior women placed seventh out of 17 teams with 180 points. The men did not have any top three finishers. Kurt Rohmann placed fourth in 200m I.M. and sixth in 200m freestyle. Carlo Distephano swam a solid 400m I.M. to place fifth and Dave Zeldin wasn’t far behind in seventh place. Ian Washbrook and Grahame Jastrebski place sixth and eighth respectively in 5Om

Blues invitational free. In the 2OOm fly, Allan Nagy and Andrew Moffat were sixth and seventh. Alan Lee swam to seventh place in 50m breaststroke and eighth in lOOin breaststroke and Blake Wilson was seventh in 200m breaststroke. In the 15OOm freestyle, Pete Londry was sixth. The Warrior men placed sixth out of 17 teams with 277 points. While the Warrior swim team will not compete again until next term, they will be working hard, especially at training camp over the holidays. Good luck to the team and have a happy holiday season,

SPORTS

Imprint, Friday, November 26, 1999

Kingston came,sawand lost large

ired in a three-game losing streak, Dave Cressman, Warrior coach, recommended his ice hockey crew take a small break. If last weekend’s results against Queen’s University and Royal Military College are any indication, then things look very good for the Waterloo Warriors heading into the break. With Rob Marie and Phil Willard returning to the lineup, the team is beginning to look like a real threat to the Golden Hawks, Lancers and Mustangs. On November 20, the Queen’s University Golden Gaels came to town hoping to extend Waterloo’s losing streak. Tim Cunningham, the acting head coach of Queen’s, had John Clarke start in net. Waterloo decided to have Jason Willard start. Much to the chagrin of both Cunningham and Cressman, the referee for the match was Peter Stasiuk, of Brock and York infamy. The first period began rather well for the Warriors. From the opening face-off Waterloo immediately pressured Clarke to make several good saves. There was one shot that should have been a goal. That shot came from Michael Murphy, who

was denied by the crossbar. In the tenth minute, Murphy received a pass from Mark Robson and scored a one-timer. Three minutes later, the Golden Gaels would thank Matt MacDonald for scoring the equalizer. The goal made by MacDonald wasorigina.Ily a shot made by Damien Gilbert that somehow deflected off MacDonald’s stick. But with 3 :35 left in the period, Mike McIlveen embarrassed Clarke by shooting the puck through the latter’s five hole. After one period, Waterloo was leading 2, 1. The second period demonstrated the utter incompetence of Stasiuk. The game became quite rough, because of heated passions and vehement tensions from both teams. Some of the rough plays included Aaron Frantson’s bone jarring check on Mark Robson and Ryan Painter’s thundering check on Robert MGlloux. The most frightening incident occurred at 9:09. Joe

Kinney skated toward Alec St. Louis and violently checked him from behind. Scott Richardson of Queen’s saw this and fought with Kinney. The final result was a game misconduct for Kinney and a two minute roughing penalty for Richardson. As for goals, there were two beautiful ones by the Warriors. The first goal came from McIlveen, who snuck the puck past Clarke’s stick side. The second goal was by Jordy Leone, who picked hisspot andcaught Clarke lying on the job. From these two goals, Waterloo was three goals up on the Golden Gaels. In the third period, the Golden Gaels mounted a very serious comeback on the Warriors. Throughout the third period, Queen’s made Jason Willard work. Gaels like Mailloux, Matthew Stronach and Wes Booker gave Willard several challenging shots. At lo:27 left in the game, Richardson solved the riddle of Willard by lifting the puck over the goalie’s shoulder. Fifteen seconds iater, Frantson scored on a face-off between Jonathan Bishop and Joel Widmeyer. Unfortunately for the Golden Gaels, they could not get the tying goal. JasonWillard and the defence cracked down on the errors. Waterloo won 4-3,

Stasiuk was an embarassment to the sport. . Cunningham was quite livid about Stasiuk after the game. “The referee was an embarrassment tonight,” Cunningham stated bluntly, “A player’s career [St. Louis] is over because of the referee. He should not be a referee in this league.” As for his team, Cunningham was pleased about the team’s performance, especially in the third period. The next day, the Royal Military College Paladins, freshly defeated by the Wilfrid Laurier University Golden Hawks, came to the Icefields to face the WarriorsXnder the leadership of Paladin’s coach Andy Scott, Jason Braden got a rare start. Jason Willard returned with hopes of stymying another team from

Angela

Braden and Dorewatch whileanotherpaladin

uses avery unorthodox method ofkeepingWaterloodown.

screen play and could not have been saved even by Phil Esposito. With one more period to go, the score was

Kingston. The result of this game would not be pretty for the pathetic Paladins. From the opening face-off between Sean Fitzgerald and Ryan Vince to the final siren, Waterloo totally exploited and ravished the RMC squad. In the first period, Waterloo would assert their dominance over the Paladins. The first goal would be due to a power play created by Eric RKeaume. Rheaume’s stay in the sin bin was short, because 24 Secopds

7-O for the Warriors. Andy Scott must have said something to Braden. In the third period Braden was spectacular. That was a because the defense did absolutely nothing to help him. Bombarded with plenty of Warrior shots, most of fairly decent quality, Braden did an excellent job in keeping the good thing,

Warriors at bay. Waterloo tried to play all four lines so that they would not run up the score,but the Paladins were so inefficient that it could have easily been 12-O or 15-O. Braden held off Fitzgerald, Turner, Murphy and others to deny Waterloo any goals in the third period. As for the Paladins, their offence was just as dormant, Shannon Goudie, JeanFransois Dord, Dave Charron and Ryan Vince had three shots apiece. RMC had a grand total of 16 shots for the game, while Waterloo settled for a meagre 46, Jason Willard earned his first shutout of the season. Andy Scott was obviously dejetted about the performance of the Paladins. uWaterloo had a hardworking team today. They came to play; we didn’t,” Scott answered when asked to assessthe Paladins. Scott did not blame Braden for the loss. “In a 46 shot game, you can’t

after he entered the box, Fitzgerild delivered a great shot that foiled Braden. Four and a half minutes later, Mike Devereaux broke away from several Paladins and scored on a stunned Bradgn. Goals by Fitzgerald and Michael Nixon near the end of the period gave the Warriors a fourgoal lead heading into the dressing room,

The second period put Scott’s team into a new realm of pain and hurt. The Warriors continued the slaughter unabated with three excellent goals.The first goal of the period came from Brett Turner, who took advantage of another breakaway. Four minutes later, Ryan Painter delivered a blazing slapshot that was too hot to handle for Braden. The last goal of the second period came from Mike Johnson. This goal, which occurred at 14:02, was part of a

Warrior Basketb

Takizawa

blame the goalie for a seven-goal loss. In fact, he played well, as it could have easily been more than 7-0,” Scott said. When asked about fiis game plan against Laurentian next week, Scott lamented, “In this league, I don’t care if it’s Brock or York or Laurentian, if you don’t come to play, you will lose. If the players don’t want to work hard, they simply won’t

win.” The mood in Cressman’s office was one of jubilation. “It was certainly a great game,” summarized Cressman, “We made a better effort today.” Cressmanwas also euphoric about the fact that the Warriors could finally play with four lines. “We did some line juggling and it worked out. It was rather nice to have four lines,” Cressman stated. Cressman was pleased that the energy level was high, the power play unit ticked and Willard was improving on his concentration Last night, the Waterloo Warriors began a home and home series with the much hated Wilfrid Laurier University Golden Hawks. The Warriors return to the Columbia Icefields for a “Golden Hawk roast” on November 28. The grilling of the birds begins at 2:OO p.m., so come on out and support your Waterloo Warriors. Please supply the stuffing , for the Warriors will bring the bird!

UWSKI&SNOWBOARD CLUB ’

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SPORTS

Imprint, Friday, November 26, I999

Leaders of the week Competitive

Ice Hockey

were left standing.

nother great season has wrapped up on the ice with several teams walking away with astounding wins. In the A division, the XL7’s beat Les Boys 3-2 in a close fought battle that was the most exhilarating game of the evening.

In the B division, the regular seasonfrontrunners, the Worriers, were upset in an amazing come from behind victory by the Auzzie Army. The Army came back with quite a force, winning 8-3. The Columbia Lakers also took quite a pounding from the Dick Streeters who also won a B championship 6 1. Who saysthat a team of thrown together students from everywhere can’t put on a good show - the Individual B team made it all the way to the finals before they were defeated 8-O by the Fighting Irish. In C action, Waterlogged crushed BMR 60 in some end-to-end play. It was a day for a team with an unpronounceable name (asone of their players remarked) as Srotagivan beat the Domi-nators in some well fought hockey. Thanks to everyone for a great season. A specialthanks to Aaron be-Wudrick and Kevin Hoeke for taking on the challenges involved with captaining the IndividuaI teams,

Competitve

Broomball

Another term of Competitive Broomball

drew to an end on November 16. The Stallionsin the Desert were in first place through the regular

season and met the second place team, the Crazy Latex Penguins, in the championship game. It was an exciting close to the seasonand both teams played well. Unfortunately there has to be a winner, and the Penguins came up shorttotheStallionsfour-goallead.Bothteams must be commended for playing great, id to the Penguins for holding their opponents to only a4-0 win. Congratulations to all the teams in the league and to the champs, The Stallions in the Desert.

Competitive

At the conclusion of the regular season, Ruff Riders led the A division with the only perfect record but were edged out by Deez Nuts in the second round. Deez Nuts, ranked seventh;then continued their run of upsets by squeaking out a semifinal win over the second seeded Mass Confusion. However, the ball dropped on these cinderellas in the final where they lost 49 -3 7 to A.C.S. Congratulations to all the A teamsfor some fine action filfing it up all

seasonlong. The massiveB division was home to high quality ball aswell this term. At the end of the regular season, eight teams emerged unscathed with perfect 5-O records. So, for the B1 division playoffs

these eight teams did head as visions

net-snipping danced in their head (Come on, it’s Christmas!). The field wasblown wide open early as perennial

B league champs,

Christina

Oops! The number 10 team in the Campus Ret’s top 10 list last week w&accidentally omitted. The number ten team was the Chocolate Chunky FunkyMonkeys. To the team that was left out and captain Ankur Gupta, we offer our sincerestapologies.

basketball official

A fourth-year Kinesiology student from London, Chris had one of his best games of the seasonthis past weekend in adisappointing 2114 loss to Saint Mary’s in the Atlantic Bowl. Chris led all players in yardage gained with nine receptions for 170 yards. Chris also opened the scoring in the first quarter with a leaping touchdown grab in the endzone thrown by Warrior quarterback Ry+n Wilkinson.

Wistara Warrior

van Snellenberg Figure Skating

A third-year Applied Health Science student from Ottawa, Wistara led the Warrior Figure Skating team to a fourth place finish at the Ryerson Invitational Competition. Wisma finished first in the open singles event and third (with

Melissa

Ens) in the senior

similar

pairs.

Wistara is captain of the skating team and has been instrumental in the Warriorsearly season sum.

the Short Program and Ailan McKenzie and Walker in the Senior Similar Dance events. The highlight - - of the day came in the final event, the Open Singles category. Wistara van

Jenny

the future.

In the opening event of the competition, Kristy :‘, ,<“”’ l,.:

participant in the Aqua and he is a regular at open where he can be found practicing his strokes and dives. His skills in the pool are always improving and he recently performed an excellent dive from the three metre board. program

Figure skaters burn up Ryerson he IJWVarsity Skating team began the season in style at the recent Ryerson Invitational Competition, finishing in fourth place, a mere three points out of the medals.The Warriors showed tremendous enthusiasm, outcheered their opponents and proved that medals are a definite possibility in

Tanner

Stevenis an enthusiastic

Adults swims

Chris Kreibich Warrior Football

Prf@m:

Steven

Athletesof the Week

third

to the championship with three double digit wins. The other two C division titles were claimed by Exit III and Quantum Leaps. Finally, the always dynamic coed division was won by the Dirties, who surprisingly were the last placed seed going into the playoffs.

enthusiast, Christina in the CR competitive basketball league. Her strong knowledge of the game and its rules, along with her willingness to help the players improve make her a great CR leader. Keep up the awesome job, Christina!

Steve Kerr,

seed, just behind top ranked Watts Up Ohms and Co10 Co10 II. Displaying some sweet skills and solid teamwork, SouthThree cruised

Dupre l

An all-around is a dedicated

had their pink slips delivered by-the Disgruntled Postal Workers. Red Badge, sporting one of the highest Spirit of Competition ratings, proved that the nice guys can win it all in CR basketball. They hit their stride at the right time and rolled through the playoffs, eventually shipping the Postal Workers the silver medals SO-40 in the final. The other five divisions in the B league alsodisplayedsome fierce roundball action. From division B2 through B6, the respectivewinners were No Limits, Camp Force, Hardcourt Thugs, Backstreet Boyz and Big Shorties. In the C league, the rookies from South Three took CR basketball by storm. As one of only three undefeated teams (ineluding a rare tie), they entered the C 1 division playoffs asthe

Basketball

With the ups of Viice, the deftness of Reggie and some windexing action reminiscent of Sir Charles, the huge CR basketball leaguecame to a close this past weekend. Eighty teams with hoop dreams began the Fall season, but by Monday, only 10 respective division tinners

Bertrand

danced to a third place finish in

the Intermediate Solo Dance category.Michelle Wong also waltzed her way to a third place ribbon in her debut performance in the Open Solo Dance event. Another third place ribbon was captured by Melissa Ens and Wistara van

Snellenberg in the Senior Similar Pairs, as the duo greased their competition. Great skates led to fourth place finishes for Jennifer Litt in

Snellenberg finishing

blew the rest of the field away,

in an emotional first position, the team’s only golden performance of the competition. The accomplishment helped the team’s co-captain earn Varsity Athlete of the Week. The team finished with 32 points, despite the display of erratic judging. No worries though, we’ve got the tape to prove it! It was a great day of skating ah-around, thanks especially to the awesome cheering of Natalie Herr, Judith Tuck, JeanYoon, Teresa Townsend, Katie Churchill, Stephanie Schmidt, Kristie Vermeulen, Brenda Dorey and Sherri Molzan. The Western Invitational on January 22,200 is next on the schkdule, as the team setstheir sights on a podium finish.

SPORTS

Imprint, Friday, November 26, 1999

Men win, women lose in volleyball

t was a Thursday afternoon at the Kick-off, a place I oft frequent to watch the UEFA matches. On the

television was a show on Asian football. A man talked to me about the state of football in his native land and in Europe. He also talked about a topic that concerned him deeply. This topic was about life and athletics in the Islamic Republic of Iran. Due to the sensitive nature of the topic and the Mujahadin, I cannot name my source. Iran, for the most part, is not. a very rich country. Sure, the war against Iraq from 1981 to 1988 did not help, but the most important reason for Iran’s poverty has to do with one Ayatollah Khomeini. In 1979, revolutionaries had overthrown the Shah’s government and installed a theocracy. As a result, Western media was banned, relations with the United States of America deteriorated and political parties were abolished.

Since 1997, Khatami has tried to change this nation. Since 1997, a man by the name of Mohammed Khatami has tried to changethe current regime. Elected! as president, Khatami’s goal is to try to light up the nation by introducing reforms. Unfortunately, the Muslims and the Mujahadin object to these changes and have made their feelings known in most unsavoury ways. OnesuchcasewaswithAkhmed

Johnson. A boxer from Tehran, Johnson had won many Cups and titles throughout Iran, India and the Arab countries. When the World Wrestling Federation went to Dubai, Johnson went to demonstrate his talent. The WWF was so impressed, they wrote a letter to express their interest in Johnson going to America to wrestle. Unfortunately, the Mujahadin would not allow this. Qne night, the Mujahadin decided to take action and kill both Johnson and his wife. Johnson was murdered in cold blood, because the government would not tolerate anyone have a relationship with the hatedyankees. *Female athletes also suffer because of the Mujahadin. Although less severe than the Taleban (from Afghanistan), women are treated far worse than the men. Basically, women are not allowed to play in any sport without wearing the veil. Violation of this law often results in public floggings or even death, As well, men are not allowed to watch women play sports and vice versa. If a woman is “having her time,” she must be isolated from everyone. This incfudes her teammates, her comrades, even her family. Everyone knows that women are treated like chattel by their uncles, husbands and even their youngest brother. Life in Tehran, and Iran in general, is a living hell, Athletes are persecuted and/or executed. In fact, most of the players on the national side end up playing on foreign clubs, They cannot return to their country to live because the government will not allow it. Hopefully, Khatami will light up this country and start a new revolution, one which will benefit both the athletes and the people, Let it start before the millenium ends,

One Warrior’s lament

he women’s volleyball team came off the court in a dreary mood after losing to McMaster on Wednesday, NovemberlC;.TheWarriorsweredownearly and never really recovered. They lost in three straight games (25-12, 25-16 and 25-20). In the second half of this home series with McMaster, the Warriors would suffer the same fate, once again losing to the McMaster squad (28-X,25-15,2518). On the men’s side, the Warriors

were able to fight back despite losing the first game to McMaster. The Warriors went on to win 3-l over the vjsiting Marauders (23-25, 2523,25-22,2S-15). On the weekend, the Warriors walked away with an 11 th place finish at the Guelph invitational tournament. Waterloo fell 3-O to Laurentian (25-20, 25-20, 25-22) and 3-l to Ryerson (25-11, 19-25, 25-22,26-24). Their only win of the tournament came against Brock by score of 3-O (25-l 1,-25-H, 25-21 j.

Mow

EXTENDED

On November 24, the Warriors faced off at the Physical Activities Complex against the Western Mustangs. While the wdmen lost three games to one (ZS-19,12-25,12-25, l6-25), the men scored an upset victory over the Purple Satan three games to two (27-29,25-22,23-25, 25-21,15-12). The Warriors visit London on November 26 to take on the Western Mustangs. On December 1, the team will travel to Hamilton to face the Marauders again.

Nov. 29 - THURS. DEC. 23

HOURS

SHOPPING

Christmas is a time of joy. A t&e for giving and sharing-

It shouldn’t be a stressful time. SO,if yuu’&ll h+vc Christmas Shoppi& to do,;;don’t worry. k&e, extended our shopping hours to make things just a little

easier.

Men - Sat 9:30am - 9:30pm Sunday 1l:OOam -v6:OOpm Christmas spirit will last lunger when you shop at ConestogaMall.

Richard Hock’s expression says it all after theSt. Mary’s Huskies won the AtlanticBowl I - 14.

. classifieds to Imprint (SLC1116)

byTbesday, November 30at 12p.h

.,. :.:“.‘.’::..

Rahzel is the Godfather of Novze J

e huddled in the corner of a dimly lit back room. The bare cement walls barely muffled the array of sounds emitted from inside the club. Just seconds earlier I made acquaintance with the man known as Rahzel, the human beatbox and member of live hip hop band The Roots from Philly, who now stood before me -his presence overwhelming. Upon meeting him, I extended my hand for a handshake but was intercepted by his enveloping embrace. Caught off guard, it took all of my concentration not to lapse into star-struck groupie mode, Pulling away from the hug, he flashed me a winning smile, and brimming with enthusiasm asked “How ya doin’?” I was speechless. I somehow muttered a one word answer and thought how convenient it was that I was standing two inches away from a man, the Godfather of Noyze to be exact, destined to be a hip hop legend and I couldn’t seem to bring myself to recall how to formulate a sentence. I could feel my brain cells numbing rapidly. As I directed ‘Rahzel to a vacant spot in the room I desperately attempted to regain my senses. He listened attentively, awaiting my questions. Seconds seemed to drag until finally I uttered what half resembled a question, stumbling clumsily over my words. He picked up where I left off and as we eased ourselves into a comfortable cqnversation I felt my nerves begin to settle,

While we exchanged words I gazed up at him. His eyes fascinated me, peering down into mine-holding me captive. His stare was so intent and even in the darkness his eyes were aflame. If it’s true what they say about the eyes being the windows to the soul then for those few moments I caught a glimpse of the fire that burns inside Rahzel. Rahzel is remarkable. An artiste extraordinaire. He has the power to astonish beyond belief. Accustomed to the surprised reaction he receives so often Rahzel tells me, “a Iot of people, they’re kindalikealittleskeptical, like they don’t believe I’m really doing a lot of the things that I’m doing,” but feels it is “just a part of hip hop. You’re supposed to have fun and be amazed. n The usual reaction . was not lacking at last Thursday’s performance, which took place at Kitchener’s Platinum Night Club. Rahzel strolled on stage a short 20 minutes past scheduled show time, adjusted his microphone, and proceeded to drown the crowd in disbelief. Emulating beats to a tee, it Femains a mystery how the man can create a perfect replica of a sound using only his mouth as his instrument - not to mention combining sevefal sounds at once. Feeding the crowd beats from L.L. to Wu-Tang to Aaliyah - Rahzel had a beat for every flavour. He even cooked up a couple dance hall tunes aAd if .after taking

requests any member of the audience was still hungry for more, Rahzel had the recipe td satisfy their appetite. Challeiging them to a round of Hip Hop 101, a little food for thought, he encouraged the crowd to guess the beat he was making by inviting them to sing the words to it. For the icing on the cake, he demonstrated how he could sing and do the beat for a song at the same time. No matter what Rahzel served up, the spectators swallowed every morcel.

ering a top-notch performance. I asked him what he felt was the importance of an artist being able to improvise. He commented that he felt it wasvery important for an artist to be able to improvise “due to the fact that that only sharpens their creativity. You’re able to do more instead of build(ing) a boundary for yourself so when you improvise you kinda give yourself an unlimited barder to explore.” Another of Rahzel’s strengths as an artist is his versatility. His solo debut is a perfect example of his ability to venture successfully into di-

It remains a mystery how the man can create a perfect replica of a sound using only his mouth. A dynamic performer, Rahzel thoroughly involves the audience, Able to incorporate a dramatic element into his show by piaying’differenr parts, his role play is complemented by his ability to thrust-him%lf into motion - the movement of his limbs in sync with the noises emerging from his mouth. Dipping into episodes of “transformation” throughout the night, the crowd observed in awe as Rahzel appeared to depart his body and become inhabited by a computerized life-form or a character fromMo& &but. Apart from the planned aspects of Rahzel’s show, improvisation also plays a considerable part in his deliv-

on tradition.” I let Rahzel’s words wash over me as we talked, still lost somewhere in his eyes. In them I saw something beautiful, something rare. I’ve seen this starry-eyed look before and each time I witness it, it becomes more striking, more profound. More so than any of his words could do, Rahzel’s eyes revealed to me that he is in love with making music and in love with the music he makes. When he gets on stage every night to perform, he loves making others fall in love with it. I asked Rahzel what he kanted to give people through his music. “I mean basically,” he explains, “I’m just trying to bring a message through my music not persay in words but just in my whole aura and my whole vibe just to bring people together and for people to have a good time and enjoy themselves. You know, just some pure entertainment. It’s like Sony Haystation, you know? Just keeping everyone’s attention.” Rahzel feels his influence on hip hop as whole is “a historical impact due to the fact that there hasn’t been a beatbox album out in over 10 years so to me it’s like it’s been a big impact, you know? Especially that now what I’m doing is reaching a iot of younger kids... and to me that’s the hip hop I grew up on. Everybodv was able to listen to it and enjoy and not be afraid

~‘~e~~~e~s~~~ .

insight into his reasons for featuring such a wide range of artists and experimenting with various musicat genres on his album. “A lot of the people that I have on my album were friends of mine before I started recording the album so you know, getting together with them was cool. They wanted to do something like that because it was different, it wasn’t Iike the norm, what everybody expected, so it was kinda cool working with Me shell N’degeoceIlo to a Slick Rick, to a QTip, to a Branford Mar&s, you know to an Aaron Hall. “So just meshing different genres together, to me that’s always been a part of hip hop because we always bridge the gap between different genres and different age groups and different cuItures so I’m just carrying

Rahzel is the first of a series of hip hop acts Platinum Night Club has planned to bring to the K-W area. Look out for The Rascal2 scheduled to perform there this Saturday. Come out and support hip hop in the community.

Thirteen shades of s.exual innuenao Michael Bryson recounts favourite books he’ll never read KATE

8cnwAam /fx@7t st8wY

n the setting

of the busy Huether Bryson met with A Imprint to discuss his book T&rteen Shades of Black and W/&e which was recently published by Turnstone Press. A former Imprint staffer himself, Bryson was very open and willing to engage in discussion.

T Hotel, Michael

Imprint: Youarea former UWgrad? Michael: Yes, I was at Conrad Grebel for four semesters and then I was off campus. I was in co-op, RPW (Rhetoric and Professional Writing). I:Whutdoyoumi.ssmostaboutWfzterh? M: When

to leave.

I left Waterloo

I was ready

I: Wm theresomeone who inspired you to write? M: No one inspired me to write, I just did it. I had one professor who told

his class that the novel was dead. I talked to him after and said that he was fuil of crap, that the novel was not dead. My professor told me to go talk to Eric McCormack. Eric told me that “the novel is not dead, don’t worry about it.”

I: When did you stati writing Thirteen ShadesofBlack and White? M: When I left Waterloo I wanted to write fiction. The whole time I was writing --poetry _ I wanted to write fiction. So when I finished at Waterloo I started writing stories.

I: When did you start writing? M: When I was at Waterloo I wrote mostly poetry. I had poetry publishedin the Phoenix. The last term that I was at Waterloo I took a creative writing course and we had to write an 80 page novella in that class. I hated the teacher but she gave me I had wanted to write anA+so,., fiction but I never really did, I was just writing poetry, It was such a wild story. The first sentence in this no-

I: There is a lot of talk about sex 6ut there is not any actualsexualactivity in the book. Didtbutjustsorf ofhappen or did you mean to put it into eve7?; story? M: I think it was sub-consciously put in there, but there’s a lot of talk about sex and that’s just the style of some of the stories and that’s probably why Hemingway is quoted on the inside cover of the book. A lot of it is meiosis, saying things but not saying things.

vella

was,

“Martha,

his

guardian

angel, was late. ” It all turns out that the god is dead, but the god isn’t dead and there is this whole crazy thing happening with the gods and angels. I thought if I had to write an 80 page project it had to be wild.

It’s

the

same

tecknique

using

mini-

mal details; talking about things but leaving some of it up to the reader. It opens up ambiguities. I: Thisisa very Cmadian meun to do that?

book, did you

M: Yes, I meant to do that. I’m Canadian, I’m a Canadian writer and I want to write about Canada here and now. I engage the stories in the culture here and now, Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale and Alice Munro’s Lives of Girls and Women are both mentioned. The book asks the question: What is Canadian literature?

I don’t want to do it their way. What is most impressive is the smail press, a whole new generation of writers and new things. Writers like Mark Anthony and Lynn Kody are doing some great things. The small press needs more coverage.

This last fine, “The small press needs more coverage.” sums uy I: Have you ever read Bryson’s demeanor Atwood’s for the entire interHandmaid’s Tale? view. M: No, I thought It was clear he about it. felt that readers need to look beyond the nat;owJ ko?3sto tLe I: How do you tkink Books? Never read ‘em. Canadian Literature small press for interis doing? esting books and perhaps even some better literature. M: It’s doing well but it’s not covered. There are international stars like Bryson’s book, Thirteen Shades Atwood who get more press then o/32& and White, is available in all they deserve. I can’t write their way, bookstores. .

ARTS

Imprint, Friday, November 26, I999

Dananananananana...Batman! Caped crusader opens up the Batcave in new book

Batman: The Complete History Les Daniels ChronicleBooks

A l

n eerie figure of the night nemesis of crime-this is the Batman. He comes out at night to strike terror in the hearts of evil men. Part man, part bat, this mysterious crime-fighter is all superhero. The excitement and action of the Dark Knight lives on despite the many decades since his first appearance. In this book, I-es Daniels writes not so much the story of Batman but the story of the story, a task he has also done with Slcperman: The Com-

plete History and the histories of Marvel and DC Comics. Rife with graphics, the 21 O pages hold a virtual wall-to-wall carpeting of photos, drawings and comic-book panels. Only about a quarter of the space is taken up by the text, making it a reasonably enjoyable picture book. But reading the words makes it all the more interesting. The accounts of Batman’s development read partly like a compilation of interviews and seems a bit disparate. Stories are woven almost more like spaghetti than a smooth tapestry. They do, however, provide complete information one is not likely to find anywhere else. Excluding a few earlier appearances of comic characters that were bat-related, Batman first appeared in May of 1939 in Detective Comics

No. 27. Our hero was referred to as “‘The Batman” and was a six-page murder-mystery drawn by Bob Kane. Dressed in a blue-black cowl and grey tightssimilar to the tights of his Action Comits counterpart Superman-he fought crime and solved mysteries. T h e origins of Batman were revealed later in No. 33 with the tale of how young Bruce Wayne was orphaned

ventures of the Caped Crusader. Shortly after, Batman began appearing as a guest on Superman’s radio show and was featured in a series of motion pictures. More than a decade after many more comics were produced, the first episode of the televison series Butman aired on January 12, 1966. The series would include a joint episode with the Green Hornet and then ultiwhen his The DarkKnight returnswith his new book, mother and mately end father were murdered. Henceforth in 1968. On March 14 of that year Bruce swore to avenge his parent’s the Iast new episode was broadcast, it death by spending the rest of his life featured Zsa Zsa Gabor as a wicked fighting crime, beautician with mind-reading hairSoon after and for years followdryers. ing, a sidekick would help in the The popularity of the television crusade of the caped one. Batman show created a market for merchanstopped being a solitary figure with dising and set the snowball rolling to the arrival of Robin at his side. the big-business Batman of today. A year after his first appearance Through the seventies many difBatman swung into his first comic ferent comics lived and died, just like series and the boy wonder came too. the three different Robin characters Folltiwing the first issue in spring - J ason Todd, Tim Drake and Dick of 1940, many of our familiar villains Grayson. appeared: the Joker, Catwoman, the Into the eighties, many differPenguin and Two-Face. ent talented artists worked on the Newspapers would soon run a comics. One of the more famous is syndicated comic strip recounting adTodd McFarlane, who went on to

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create Spawn. The first motion picture that today’s youth would know was reIeased in 1989. Its screenplay set a comic booklike scene for Gotham, the city of the Dark Knight; “stark angles, creeping shadows, dense, crowded, airless, a random tangle of steel and concrete as if Hell had erupted and kept on growing.” The Butman Returrts and Batman Forever motion pictures came after. Batman: The Animated Series followed which also had a feature length motion picture spin-off Butman: Musk ofthe Pbun tam as well as winning a number of Emmy awards. The merchandising monster grew with the movies as is shown with the photos of 110 action figures. The last addition to the Batman collection is&ztmun Beyond. “In desperation we came up with the concept which we thought was the only thingwe could do that would reinvent the character without recking the continuity we had done.” For a character that lurks in the shadows his stories have found much more of the spotlight that can be comfortable; but Batman doesn’t exist and his fans do, so he can do what we want.

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and her brother be run valley. The hypocrisy which tale is perfectly illustrated follows Susannah home, ing her at a town meeting

out of the

defines this ailed as one of America’s when Blitch m&t frequently perafter beratformed operas, Carlisle where she Floyd’s Susannub debuted in Hamilton Place on Saturday, November 20. Susunnah is based on a story from the apocryphal biblical tale of Susannah and the Elders. Set in rural south, Floyd’s Susunnah tells the story of a disarmingly pretty girl, Susannah, who is subject to vicious rumours and allegations from the staunch, theocratic community of New Hope Valley, where she resides with her drunken brother Sam. Already the subject of malicious thoughts by the women and lustful longings by the men, Susannah remains impervious to their insinuations until she is observed bathing nude by the town’s elders, Spurred on by the ieligious fervor brought in by the new Susannahsuccumbs . preacher, Olin Blitch, this obserfails to repent for sins she has not vation spirals downward into false committed and proceeds to seduce allegations of Susannah’s lustful encounters with some of the menfolk her. She is too weak with despair to and sends the town demanding she resist.

“GENIUS!

to /np7i?t

In this weakness of flesh, Blitch discovers that Susannah has indeed spoken the truth. Her virtue was untouched until he laid hands on her. In a desperate bid to make amends, he calls the elders and their wives together and pleads Susannah’s innocence, though careful not to incriminate himself. They leave unconvinced and Blitch is left with his conscience. The next morning, Sam comes home, drunk, to discover his beloved sister has been dishonoured. Enraged, he takes his gun and storms down to the creek (the same creek that Susannah was observed in) and kills Blitch, The townspeople swarm Susannah’s house, demanding that she and her brother leave the valley. With a manic laugh, Susannah takes a gun and scares the people off her land, determined not to be driven from her home. This opera, sung in English with EngIish&p&title$ is Floyd’s first. Debuting in New York in 19.56, Susannah has gone on to play all over the world. This is the very first time continued

to page

Don’t continued

from

page

it is being staged in Ontario. In the orchestra pit is the Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony conducted by Maestro Ward Holmquist, who is the Artistic Director of the Lyric Opera of Kansas City and has studied under the composer Carlisle Floyd. In the title role of Susannah is Canadian soprano Sarah Dibblee, whose voice can only be described as exquisitely pure. Her voice rises above the rest as she sweetly sings the longing “Oh what a pretty night.” It is by far the most beautiful ballad/aria in this modern, unconventional opera. Beyond her singing talent, which is substantial, Ms. Dibble does an excellent job performing the role of Susannah, weaving the southern dialect

cry for Susannah seamlessly into the dialogue. Tenor Steven Harrison plays - _ the role of Sam Polk, Susannah’sbrother. His voice is rich and,tender and he was clearly an audience favourite although he was limited to just a few pieces. An excellent performer and strong singer, Mr. Harrison’s debut with the Hamilton opera is a definite plus for the company. In the role of Olin Blitch is American bass-baritone Kristopher Irmiter. Mr. Irmiter is no stranger to the stage, having played the same role before Floyd. Also debuting in Hamilton, Mr. Irmiter does a fine job as Blitch, belting out the songs with passion and fervor, reminiscent of a television evangelist. In his main solo piece “0 Lord, 1 Beseech Thee” he begs forgiveness for his sin against Susannah

and the audience can see the pain his soul is suffering, The rest of the ensemble, consisting of the Elders and their wives, as well as the chorus, do fairly well as a group, though individually, some of the wives come off somewhat thinly. On the whole, Susannah is an opera experience not to be missed, as it i<an excellent combination of religious and folk music, centered around an omnipresent theme, hypocrisy. Don’t miss this opportunity to celebrate one of this century’s finest operatic accomplishments. Stcsannah is coming to Kitchener for one performance only, Friday, December 3 at the Centre in the Square. Show time is 8 p.m. For more information, calltheboxofficeat(Sl9)578-1570 or l-800-265-8977. Tickets range in price from $25 to $60.

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Fiveeasystepsto becomingan indierock band

KMS, as the radio station of the University of Waterloo tends to play many more independent bands (bands not signed to a major label) than traditional commercial stations. What does this mean to you? Well, as an unrecognized (even to yourself) local musician, it could mean potential airplay. It is in the interest of increasing the Canadian and local content on CKMS that I now provide to you with the Five Easy Steps to Becoming an Indie Rock Band. Step 1. First, and without a doubt most important, is your band name. The name should be (as Homer put it in the episode when he played with the B-Sharps} “Funny at first, but then not so funny once you hear it a few times.” If you want to be played on commercial radio, the trend seems to be toward multi-word names: Our Lady Peace, I Mother Earth, The Tragically Hip, Spirit of the West, New Kids on the Block and so on, However, in the indie scene, the shorter your name is, the better. Keep it catchy, and make sure that it is a noun (person, place, thing) and not a verb (action word).

Step 2. If you could have a band without a name, this would be most important; however, until technology makes that possible, band merchandise ranks aclose second in terms of importance. Do you have t-shirts ready? Pick a font and go with it. Use your band name wherever possible: coffee mugs, condoms, baseball hats, touques and the like. This is your bread and butter, make sure that you’re ready to rake in the indie rock fans’ dollars with some top notch merch. Step. 3. This next step is key. Look around. Are there any people in your band with you? If not, you may want to add at least two people. Some bands (Duotang, the Inbreds) can survive on only one or two people, but most need at least three to help share gascosts from one touring location to the next. Make sure that one of your band members has a car. Instruments are secondary (see the next step.) Step 4. Music. This, as you may have noticed, has come in at fourth place. That’s because even if you play crappy music, if you have good merch you can still make a living as a band (see the Grateful Dead as a good example of this). If you have an instrument, and don’t know how to play, don’t panic.

Many independent bands don’t know how to play their instruments (see Cub and most punk bands). If you don’t have an instrument, call yourself a “noise” band, and make instruments out of household items like pipes and rubbermaid equipment (see the Nihilist Spasm Band and Stomp). Step 5. Recordings are also important. If you could have them without music, I would have ranked them fourth, because they really are a type of merch, Try to keep your recordings in a format as obscure as possible. If you can have your songs put on’to an 8track tape, do it. Don’t worry about*whether or not people can play it, just do it! Seven-inch singles are very popular with the indie set, so try to press as many of them as possible. There, in a nutshell, are five easy steps to becoming an indie rock band, and possibly even five easy steps to getting some play on CKMS. Wanna be famous? It’s up to you. Get off the couch and start making your t-shirts! You’ve only got so long before you’re too old to be hip. David Eby hosts Dinner and a Show every other Tuesday from 68p.m. on 100.3 FM. .

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Imprint, Friday, November

26,

1999

House of bird shit only highlight of ForgiveMy

Head is the fact that “Nitemare” is a complete rip-off of “Secret Garden” by the Stone Temple Pilots except for the singing, of course. So instead of writing some more about how much Birdhouse sucks,I have prepared the following 10 things I could have done with my life instead of listening to ForgiveMyHead: 1. Not listen to Forgive My Head 2. Banged head against wall 3. Watched fungus grow 4. Collected dust bunnies and kept them as pets 5. Found religion 6. Studied in a futile attempt to receive a passing mark 7. Fused together the theories of Relativity and Quantum Mechanics 8. Bonded with nature 9. Justified my existence 10. Killed brain cells with... stuff

Malkovitch is mesmerizing, Hollow is horrible Being

John Malkovich Gramercy

?WCK

Pictures DRNGLE

spia/

to /qv7..t

ehg]ohn Malkouich is an extraordinarily imaginative film from director Spike Jonze and writer Charlie Kaufman. Here is a movie that is funny, thought-provoking and extremely strange. The story is filled with bi-

ing, where the ceilings are all four feet high and everyone has to stoop to walk (but they save a bundle on overhead). There, Craig finds a tiny doorway behind a filing cabinet that leads to a portal into the brain of John Malkovich. After spending fifteen minutes inside his brain, Craig gets spit out into a ditch along the New Jersey Turnpike. This may soundlike a gimmick, but the film treats it as if it were

After spending I5 minutes inside his brain, Craig gets spit out into a ditch along the New Jersey Turnpike. zarre twists. So many that my mouth was falling open all the way to the last minute. John Cusack stars as Craig Schwartz, a puppeteer whose career goes on the rocks because of his dark and neurotic street shows. His wife (an almost unrecognizable Cameron Diaz) persuades him to take a job on the 7 1/2th floor of an office build-

the !Bw Teacher istinguished

Awards

commonplace. The characters are aniazed by it, but that doesn’t stop them from milking the portal for all it’s worth. Craig and his sexy coworker Maxine (Catherine Keener) set up a business charging people two hundred bucks a pop for fifteen minuees as John Maikovich. Soon, everyone is obsessed with being him, including Craig. Of course, to actually be someone else is the ultimate experience for a puppeteer, There’s nothing surrounding this premise that the movie doesn’t exploit. What would you do if you could be someone else, let alone a famous actor? How would it change you? The answers are there but presented in a way you won’t expect. There is a moment when John Malkovich enters the portal himself, and travels into his own brain. No force on earth could make me divulge what he sees

COiitWt

Nomination Doadtim: fit@ RidQ . I.

Sleepy Hollow Paramount

Pictwes

bad movie usually stares you ight in the face. Sleepy Hollow doesn’t just stare you right in the face, it dances around you. As if that isn’t enough, it mocks itself by demeaning the talents of Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Martin Landau,and Christopher Walken (though Walken is good anyway). What’s more;the script is laughing at the film because at least it knows that it’s bad. One can see, when looking very closely, what Tim Burton’s intention was with this film. He must have realized that it was a fun story for entertainment purposes only. He thought he would make it light and funny. (in moments that didn’t involve decapitation), and he thought the audience would find it funny too. 1 laughed quite a bit at Sleepy Hollow but I wasn’t laughing for the right reasons. Despite all of its problems, Sleepy Hollow does have its good points. Tim Burton creates another dark, mystical world that is photographed exquisitely. Burtonesque is the only word for it. The film is fun to watch, because you know there is no deeper meaning waiting around the corner. Unfortunately the film iS so flawed, so overindulgent, so badly written and so miserably one-dimensional that there is no way the time spent can be justified. All in all, one of the year’s low points.

Throughout this decade, the music scene has been shaken up by the “indie revolution” of underground bands. Artists such Fugazi, Sonic Youth, and Dinosaur Jr. have emerged from obscurity without the ( initial) help of big corporate labels, purely because of the quality of their music. Birdhouse is not one of those bands. And the shocking reason for that is that they suck. To describe the type of music Birdhouse plays, all one has to do is remember the high school year (or fresh year, for some of you) when Green Day suddenly became popular. Showcasing their newly bleached hair, “punk” bands across the nation began performing threechord songs with bad singing and worse lyrics. Well, that was nothing compared to the musical genius of Birdhouse. The Toronto-based trio, led by singer - and I use the term “singer” loosely-Jon Webster, cannot leave the same pattern of fast drums, easy chords and horrible lyrics. As an example, “Demonica” contains such So, to conclude, if you are 13 lyrical gems as “I’ve got a girlfriend ” years old and you need a band that named Veronica.. . / I love her and echoes your complex emotions, she loves me / I love Veronica/ I said such as liking girls that don’t like you, please come back Demonica.” and “you’re punk / you’re cool / As my friend remarked, “Is this you’re no one’s fool,” then don’t

Birdhouse is not a quality band. The shocking reason is that they suck. some sort of Archie comic - BDSM fantasy?” Now my friend may not be very smart, but he has a point. The

hesitate to rush out and pick up Forgive My Head, available in fine used CD stores everywhere.

Just in time for ci Big Shiny Christmas

To nominads your outstanding instfuctm, Teaching R~Urce% and Continuing Education (TRACE)Office MC4055 Ext 3132:

there. Let it simply be said that it is at once hilarious and horrifying and that it will make perfect sense when you see it.

It’s that time of the year again.

It’s getting closeto the holidays, which means Mu&Music releases their latest addition collection.

to the Big Shiny Tunes

It’s a good collection of top 20 hits that get way too much airplay. You hear these songs ten times a day, yet you don’t really get sick of listening to them, most of them, anyway. 3igSbiny Tunes 4 is packed with seventeen tunes from various Canadian and non-Canadian artists. The album leads off with “American Woman” by Lenny Kravitz. It’s an old Guess Who song. Does Kravitz have any originality?

Gee, I already ripped off Hendrix, who can I steal from next? “Someday” by Sugar Ray, “What’s My Age Again-?” by Blink- 182, atid “All Star” by Smash Mouth are fun, pretty upbeat songs that hit the top of the charts during summer, The Goo Goo Dolls’ “Slide” has great lyrics and excellent vocals bY Johnny Rzeznik. One of the newer songs on the album is Matthew Good It has a Band’s “Hello Time Bomb.” heavier sound than “Apparitions,” which appeared on Big Shiny Tunes

3. “Hello Time Bomb” is a well developed song with excellent vocals and interesting guitar parts. Moist’s “Breathe” is also on the album. It’s a mellow, depressing, song wit,h some heavy guitar parts. One of the best songs on the album is Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “ScarTissue.” The song really shows off their skill as songwriters and musicians although it is extremely depressing. Anthony Kiedis’ soulful vocals

really bring the lyrics to life.. This goes

perfectly with the mellow, drawn out guitar riffs. In the electronica category, there are tracks by Fatboy Slim and the Chemical Brothers, Fatboy’s “Praise You” is a really fun, upbeat song. I just can’t get sick of it, “Let Forever Be” is typical of the Chemical Brothers’ darker, heavier sound. The song has vocals by Noel Gallagher (of Oasis fame) and some psychedelic rifts. Some otherbands on the album are I Mother Earth, Serial Joe, and Econoline Crush. I didn’t really care for these tracks. 1 guess they were included to help promote these fledgeling Canadian bands. Overall, MuchMusic’sBigShiny Tunes 4 is a good collection of music. It certainly reflects the current flavor in music.

ARTS

Imprint, Friday, November 26, I999

Deathmatch RYAN PORTER spec/;alfo /mpM It’s time to take a hard look at ourselves and admit the truth. Unless you are oh-so-hip or have a satellite (you bastard-an I come over?), we Canadians know zip about MTV. But who cares, right? After all, Muchmusic has been shaping up over the past few years to be a legitimate competitor for MTVand as Canadians we should be supporting the home team. Don’t you wonder just what the music station that started it all has been up to since Jenny McCarthy disappeared andBeavisandButthead were superceded by South Park? Canada has been thrown aclue with the albumMTVCel& rity Deatbmatch,a soundtrack of sorts for the MTV program of the same name. The show’s concept involves pitting two plasticine celebrities against each other as they match fists in a round of WWF-style wrestlitlg. Some celebrities that have duked it out onMZV Celebrity De&match include Marilyn Manson and Charles Manson, Aretha Franklin and Barbara Streisand, and Gene Siskel and Robert Ebert. The soundtrack reflects the energy of a deathmatch with a mix of metal, rap and rock, The celebrity quotient is also filled by some big names; the album includes a new song from Marilyn Manson and re-mixes of “My Fault” by Eminem, and “Meet the Creeper” by Rob Zombie. While the album carries a fairly consistent level of quality, Powerman 5000 provides one of the better tracks with the funky and heavy “Standing 8.“The Manson song, “Astonishing Panorama of the Endtimes,” is another winner. It’s classic Manson, combining breakneck percussion and catchy electric riffs with the message to “Kill your god, kill your TV” that we’ve

Charlatans hypnotize

anyone? come to expect from our best bet for Satan incarnate. Lit’s “Money” also stands out, partly because it is one of the few songs on the album that rejects the hardcore growls or re’petitive hip-hop rhythms of the others for a head bopping rock. It has a steady punk beat, but it is much closer to the Blink 182 style of pop punk than to anything remotely heavy. It carries with it all the charm of a teen movie. As the final track, it slaps a smile on your face when the carnage is through. MTVCelebrity De&match has plenty of downfalls too, mostly from the non-celebrities in the group. Shuvel’s “Clean Slate” sounds a little too clean for the amount of screaming they do. Their screams don’t have the growl to them that a master like Johnathon Davis can provide, Rather, they sound more like your drunken budd’ les ordering at the McDonald’s drive-thru. The Wondergirls are horribly out of place on this album with.their 80s glam rock track, “Let’s Go All The Way.” The chorus has a dangerously high cheese factor that destroys what could have been a decent song, but even if the chorus was up to snuff, I still wouldn’t play it at my deathmatch. Kool Keith takes the cake as the most horrifying artist on the album, which is not entirely unexpected from someone who a) refers to himself as “Kool” Keith and b) spells “Kool” with a K. His track, “Bow to The Masta,” falls into the classic rap trap of being five minutes of ego-stroking, accompanied by an alltoo-regular base line. MTVCeletity Deatbmutcb is a pretty solid soundtrack, but to truly appreciate it requires an equal love for hard rock and rap. A love for the mainstream is a bonus too. After all, it does say MTV on it. But hey, program your stereo to skip past the losers, and what you’re left with is a truly energizing group of tunes that should get you moving in the morning, pumped for the bar, or ready to kick the crap out of celebrities.

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After a few years off and a few trials and tribulations the Charlies are back with a new studio album on their new label. ,The most recent of their calamities was the jailing of their former accountant for pilfering roughly $700,000 of the bands money. Problems aside, the Chailies still exist and are still making music. With their sixth album, Us and Us Only, the Charlatans once again have created an album which surprises and satisfies. Downplaying the meIding of techno and rock found on their previous releases during this time when techno generally equals mega-sales, the Charlies have created an album which ebbs and flows organiCally. The Charlatans were one of the bands that helped fuse rock and dance music by combining electronic music and strong rhythms. True to their roots, there are still a lot of electronic elements in the songs but they are more abstract and organic in sound and therefore do not jump out and beat, beat, beat you in the head.

The album’s current single is the languid epic “Forever.” A 7.25 minute, hypnotic journey with a pulsating bass line complemented by waves of cathedral organ, “Forever” contains no chorus. This characteristic of the Charlies work, not following the typical verse-chorusverse structure, is a refreshing break from the formulaic offerings of most guitar-rock bands out there. New keyboardist Tony Rogers showcases his talents throughout the album. On the second track “Good Witch/ /Bad Witch 3,” he and the rest of the Charlies seamlessly meld the keyboards with the guitars, the electronic pulses with the drums. This creates a sound not usually heard from guitar bands, not usually heard from electronic bands, but asound that is characteristically Charlies. The band is adept at distilling their myriad musical influences. Tim’s fondness for hip-hop rears it’s head on the phat beatz-piloted “My Beautiful Friend.” Us And Us OtlZy is irrefutable proof that The Charlatans remain believersin rock ‘n’ roll. It’s a mature-sounding album by a band who has already been part of a movement that helped expand rock’s perimeters and who does not need to resort to the gimmicks and samples that are making some of today’s heretoday-and-gone-tomorrow bands.

Joyful girl returns 1’’‘1’An-i i~$‘~&c&~ .ij;:.i.l i,;::i: ,i,itself (~~~I> tothe question: “What the hell isthis ?” electric

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AniDiFranco’sfourteenthalbumisahorny To the Teeth harkens back to the brass on 1994’s Out of&zge, except that the arrangements here are less big-band and jazz. Ani forays into jazz-funk, having been influenced by Maceo Parker, whom she spent most of last summer touring with. Parker’s presence is felt, even on the songs he didn’t contribute to directly. This CD showcases a more calm and reserved Ani. It is mellower, less ferocious, and less politically potent than her past offerings. Songs such as “To the Teeth” prove that Ani’s politics have not strayed very far. She is just not conveying the archetypical “angrywhite-female” persona. “Hello Birmingham” is a song written in response to the senseless murder of Dr. Bernard Slepian, a Buffalo abortion doctor. “And the blood poured off the pulpit/ the I blood poured down the picket line. Yeah, the hatred was immediate, and the vengeance was divine,” laments Ani. One of the many tracks featuring up-front one. heard horn more

guitars is “Freakshow”a

song that lends

Well, it’s Ani, and fans shouldn’t act surprised when the folksinger pulls something like this out of her hat. This is one of the album’s most eccentric and funky songs. Ani sings beautiful explorations of relationships (“Soft Shoulder,” “Carry You Around”), intensely beat-laden songs (“Swing,” “Back, Back, Back,“), as well as some quirky ones (“Arrivals Gate,” u Freakshow”). She sings of self-restoration: uWhen you sit right down in the middle of yourself, you’re gonna wanna have a comfortable chair./ So renovate your soul before you get too old ‘cuz you’re gonna be housebound there.” Ani also delivers some uncharacteristically self-deprecating lines: “I am stumbling down the gravel driveway of desire trying not to wake up my sleeping self-loathing.” At times the music overrides the power of Ani’s lyrits, and at other times the lyrics would be more effective. set against a stronger, more memorable musical backdrop. To the Teeth does pack a few punches, but it is mostly hit and miss. While the songs take a little time to warm up to, after

“Welcome to the Freakshow.”

several

listens

they eventually

weasel

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inside of you. Fans will love the fact that, in her liners, Ani credits 2rickets” as musicians with L(legs” as their instruments.

Just getting to school can be an adventure in itself. Since 1984, Adventure Guide has been outfitting students for their daily trek to and from class. Lowe Alpine manufactures waterproof - breathable Triple Point TMshetls,fleece garments, day packs and mountain packs...to make your daily trek more comfortable.

Ip‘ Volunteer YWCA of Kitchener-Waterloo is recruiting for a Kitchen Assistant at Mary’s Place 3-4 hours per week. This position also provides an opportunity to develop an understanding of women in crisis in our community. Call Saundra Schmidt at 7446507. Join BUDS - a UW student, staff and faculty group that provides free tutoring and encouragement to high school students. For more information, email buds@calum.csclub.uwaterloo. English Tutor Program - volunteer tutors are needed to tutor students on a one-to-one basis in written and oral English. Tutots meet students dn campus for 1 term, usually 2-3 hours per week. If you have a good working knowledge of English, are patient, friendly, dependable and would like to volunteer, register at the International Student Offlce. NH2080. For more info call ext. 2814 or email d-arlene@watservl . uwaterloo.ca The international Student Office needs Shadows {Student Hosts and Designates of Waterloo) for new international students arriving on campus for the Fall ‘99 term. Application forms are available at NH 2080 or call ext. 2814 or e-mail darlene@watset-vl .uwaterloo.ca Big Sisters - If you are 18 years of age and older and feel you can make a positive difference in a child’s life and can spare 3 hours a week for a minimum of one year call 743-5206 for informaHUNGRY? The UW Food Bank is a conftdential service for students in need of assistance. If you need food please come see us in SLC room 2131 {ask the Turnkeys). Hours are 9:30-530 Monday to Friday or ext. 5992. We also need volunteers and food donations are welcome! Crohn’s and Coi!t!s Foundation of Canada needs help with upcoming fundraising and education events. For info call 748-2195 or I-800-387-1470 ext. 18. YWCA of Kitchener-Waterloo needs assistance in sorting and organizing of in kind donations as they come in. You need to possess strong organizational skills and enjoy working with others. A commitment of 2-4 hours per week is required. They also need someone to assist with the unloading of the foodbank truck every other Tuesday morning. You must be able to lift heavy obiects. For infc call Saundra Schmidt at 744-6$07.Women’s Crisis Serv!ces Cambridge is recruiting volunteers for Fall Orientation. We have many opportunities available: gain experience in Fundraising, on Reception/Crisis Lines, in Administrative Support, and more! For info call before SeDtember 20 at 653-2289. Resume butlderl Friendly volunteers are needed to provide companionship to people who have Alzheimer Disease. Two hours/week commitment. Training program provided (with certificate uDon compleii&) .-Cal I Alzheimer’Society 742-I 422. Learn about a different culture while you show a new immigrant how to be a part of your community. For more info call KW Y.M.C.A. Host Proaram at 579-9622. City of Kitchener needs you! For info on the following contact Deb, Leisure Support Services 74 l-2226. Aquatic volunteers needed to assist adults and children with a disability. Volunteers needed to assist individuals with a disability at recreation programs. Joggers needed! Assist a teen with a disability to jog at the track at the Waterloo Ret Complex. Like to dance? Five year old boy with a disability requires volunteer to participate in a ballet program. Volunteer needed to assist 2 year old boy at preschool programTuesday, WednesdayorThursday 9-l 1 a.m. Volunteer sought for professional gentleman with a disability to play chess or golf. Contact Sue Courter at the Volunteer Action Centre, 742-8610 for more details on the following... 8ilingual ~8nd8tin/fnglish?. . .#I 01-3206 - if so, consider sharing your valuable langua e skills when a visitin hockey team arrives from 8 hina for the 2000 Wo r19 d Women’s Hockey Championship. Child and Parent place.. #049-l 379 -supports both parents and children, helping them to maintain ties, ease conflict and reduce tension after a separation or divorce. Non-judgmental, openminded

volunteers

are needed

for this support-

Senior’s Fitness ~nstructors...#ll91 - are needed to lead weekly fitness classes for older adults in the community. Wellesley and New Hamburg areas also are in need of volunteers. C8!78di8l? Hearing &Xi8ty ihhltt38fS.. .#0 14 Three interesting volunteer opportunities are currently available, a receptionist, a tutor and someone with computer and word processing skills to provide administrative assistance. Pmmote Awareness of Crvhn’s & Colitis.. .#184-

T I

2676 - use your interpersonal skills, ability to engage people and your writing skills to increase awareness of the Chrohn’s and Colitis Foundation. Other opportunities are available. Be A Hero...#t02 - become a volunteer driver. Deliver a meal, take a senior to the doctor, drive a mother and child to a support group...make a difference. Sunday Church PcMemI ##024-l 49 - are needed at Freeport Health Centre every 2nd Sunday from IO:1 5-t2:30. Volunteers are needed to assist residents to and from the service and provide help as needed during the service. The Turnkey Desk is looking for student who are willing to help out. We need people to help move furniture and do setups for special events. If you would like to help out, please see Nancy O’Neil at the Turnkev Desk. Needed immediately from January to April 2000. University students to tutor new Canadian children at community based study hall. Students range from grades 3 to 12 and need support in English, French, Highschool sciences and maths. Own transportation is preferred. Traininn and screening is reouired. Calt Bia Sistersat 743-5206, ed 25 to set started no< Exercise helper for total blind athlete needed once a week for workouts at the Good Life Club. No experience necessary. Cal IVivian 7459345. Walk & Roll For Mental Health needs volunteers! There’s something for you. l-3 hours per week, or when you can. Event happens May 7, 2000. Call Lynne at 744-7465, ext. 342.

The Right Angle Cafe, the Math Society’s Coffee & Doughnut Shop will be open Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday to Thursday open til IO p.m. and Friday till 7 p.m. Come by for coffee, lunch, or dinner, 3rd floor, MC. Check out the new Student Awards Office Home Page for details on scholarships, awards and bursaries that you can apply for this term as well as other useful financial aid information. http:// www.adm.uwaterloo.calinfoawards/ Join the German Club! For upcoming events contact lna Lehmann, ML 307 or phone ext. 6052. Legal problems7 Tenant/landlord concerns? Visit the legal Resource Office. A referral service that may be able to help! Located in the SLC or bv Dhone at 888-4634. Guided Serf-Change of alcohol use: for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counsellina Services. ext. 2655. to find out more. Renison College has vacancies at present for undergraduate male or female students for the remainder of the Fall term and also for the upcoming Winter term - January-April 2000. For further information+ please contact the Residence Office of Renison College at 884-4404, ext. 611. Do you know that there are over 40,000 Portuguese speaking Canadians in the KW area? Ever wonder what it would be like if you knew what they were saying? Now you can! The Spanish Department is pleased to announce Portuguese 101 for the Winter 2000 Term. Sign up today at the Registers office, NH! Sorry, beginners onlv. The Canadian Blood Service would like to thank all UW staff and students who donated blood. We will be back in the Student Life Centre Februatv 28. 29. March I. 2. 2000. 6th Annual Wonders of Winter, Festival of Lights runs from November 27,1999 to January 2, 2000 from 530 p.m. every evening in Waterloo Park, Waterloo* For more info call 747-8769 Winter 2000 - Women’s Studies 300 - Index #3919, Time: 2:30-4 p.m., T & R, Locations: AL ‘209, rnstructor: Jana Karger. For more info contg;y5ry7 at the Women’s i;its Office or ext. maclare@\;/atarts.uwaterloo.ca Still time for a tax receipt for 1999! Milienium time is near. Everyone is hurrying, worrying, hustling, bustling, shopping, dropping...The Kidney Foundation of Canada, Western Ontario Chapter can help eliminate your old car, fixer upper, junker clunker with a free tow and a tax receipt. Donations are used to fund organ donor awareness+ research, public education and pa-

tient services. You will be helping dialysis and transplant as well as disposing of that unwanted vehicle in an environmentally friendly and convenient manner. For more info call 1-800-6673597 or email wesonreg@granite.sentex.net or 742-2023.

2 Monday, November 1 to Dec. 20 “New toys far needy kids drive”. CaH Waterloo Knights of Columbus at 884-2060 for more info.

Moscow! St. Petersburg! Opportunity to live and study in Russia. Beginner, intermediate and advanced Russian Language, also courses in English available. We bsite: www.interuniversity.com or contact info@interuniversity.com Study in Prague! Study at the Prague University of Economics, Central and East European Studies Program. www.interufliversity.com or info@interuniversity.com

Friday, November 26 Festival of Trees from Nov. 26 to 28 in downtown Kitchener. For infowww.stmaryschosp.on.ca or call 749-6922. Saturday, November 27 Y2K, The Future and The Bible - 7 p.m. and on Sunday, Nov. 28 at 9 and IO:30 a.m. at Community Fellowship Church, 145 Lincoln Road, Waterloo. Call Deb Snider at 725-0265 for info. Sunday, November 28 KW Chamber Music Society presents “Toronto String Quartet” at KWCMS Music Room, 57 Young Street, W., Waterloo at 8 p.m. Call 886-1673 for reservations.

Datatel Scholars Foundation - applications are now being accepted for the Datatel Scholars Foundation. The awards have a value of up to $2,000 each and are available to full-time or part-time students, graduate or undergraduate, in any discipline. Applications will be evaluated based on academic merit, personal motivation, external activities including employment and extracurricular activities and on letters of recommendation. Application deadline is January 21, 2000. Interested students should contact the Student Awards Office or the Graduate Studies Office for an application form. Al! faculties: $1,000 and $500 scholarships from STC Southwestern Ontario. Deadline February 2000. Application forms at 11, www.stc.waterloo.on.ca. Requires 75%+ average+ 200-word essay, and two samples of technical communication,

MONDAYS Engilsh Language Lab/class is held from 2:004:00 p.m. in ML 113, September -June, The class has an emphasis on pronunciation and listening exercises. Students, faculty, staff and spouses are welcome. For info call ext. 2814. UW Outers Club - hiking, camping trips, canoeing, kayaking, rock climbing, bouldering, and outdoor activities of alt kinds. Generai meetings at 6:30 p.m. in MC 4040. For more info - http:// outersclub.uwaterloo.ca TUESDAYS Parents Without Partners, Cambridge Chapter #978 meets the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month. Call Mike at 740-2155 for more info. WEDNESDAYS Grace Christian Fellowship, a gathering of Christians and those interested in Christianity, meets at 4:30 p.m., in ML 104. Details: Graham E. Morbey, ext. 3633 or gZmorbey@watservl. Office: SLC 2126. FRIDAYS dumaa Islamic prayer during Fall 99 is at 12:30 p.m., MC 4060. Details: Dr. M. I. Elmasry, ext. 3753 or elmash jb y .c;.uwaterloo.ca

A reading of Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” will take place at St. Agatha Roman Catholic Church in St. Agatha at 7:30 pm. Christmas carols will be performed by the Stratford Serenaders. For tickets and info call 741-l 122. Monday, November 29 A visual display, based on a Japanese tradition to promote good health, which celebrates life and expresses compassion and support for people infected with and affected by HIV/AIDS. Runs from Nov. 29 to Dec. 4. Call 883-2251 or 5703687 for info. Tuesday, November 30 BUDS needs people to help tutor high school students next term. Contact uofw@canada.com and cOme to our training session today from 5:309130 o-m. in 81-266. Food Drovided. Attention Varsity Athletes! Come and participate in the Varsity Food Drive & Social at 530 p.m. in front of the Turnkety Desk. Contact your team captain or Ian (iamurray@sciborg) for more info. Wednesday, December 1 Gays and Lesbians of Waterloo Coming Out Discussion Group. Topic: “Living Alone, Living Apart, Living Together” 7:30 p.m. Social follows at 9 p.m., HH 378. Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Details: 884-4569. The WateriooMlet!!ngton Chapterofthe Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of Canada will be hosting a Heel ‘n’ Wheel-a-Thon Open House and Volunteer Recruitment Meeting from 7-9 p.m. at Waterloo Recreational Complex, Waterloo. For further info catl Svlvie at l-800-387-1479. ext. 18. Jewish Studies presents Distinguished Guest Lecture Series at Needles Hall, room 3001 at 8 p.m. Dr. Stephen Berk will speak on “Bittersweet Encounter: A History of the Relationship Getween Poles and Jews”. For info call 888-4567, ext. 2443. Great Music at Grebel presents a “Student cital at 12:30 p.m. in the Chapel, CGC. Monday, December 6

UW Outers Club - last meeting of the term potluck dinner at the Grad House at 6:30 p.m. For more information http:l/outersclub.uwaterioo.ca

1 PAPER TO GO! Have your Classifiedsand Campus Bulletin items in By Tuesday, November

Re-

at 12 p.m. to the Imprint Office, Student Life Centre, room 1116. @

gee-hying

Students:

d l3usinessStudent.s:

LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE www.prep.com Toronto IiveFallNVinter classes now. Request our FREE Law School Bound or Pre-Med Bulletin email newsletters at: learn@prep.com. Richardson- I-877-PRE P-COM

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#1 Spring Break Vacations! Best prices guaranteed! Canun, Jamaica, EIahamas, and Florida! Book early and receive free meal plan, Now hiring Campus reps! I-800-234-7007 or www.endlesssummertours.com Spring Break and New Year’s Trips! Breakaway Tours, Canada’s #I student tour operator, is looking for outgoing students and organizations on campus to help promote Acapulco, Daytona, Quebec City, Montreal and more! Earn free trips and cash! Call l-800-465-4257. www.breakawaytours.com

Room mate wanted - 10 minute walk from UWI WLU, $272/month plus. One room available, 6 bedroom townhouse, five 2nd year female WLU students. Parkinallaundtv. Call 746-8379. Winter term 2000 - room for rent - close to both Universities, parking, laundry facilities. Call 725 5348. t bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment. Three females looking fur non-smoker female. $342/month, utilities included. Phillip Street, WCRI Co-op residence. Call Caroline at 725-1724.

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Lyric is a beach-pub Saturdays. Book your own bus trip at The Lyric. On any Saturday night for the new Fall semester, The Lyric will give your group free admission, free food, the craziest prices, free concert tickets, free prizes and free transportation. Call our info line now at 749-2121. Also ask us how we can help you raise money for your organization or choice of charity. “Bi-Curious? Bi? Gay? The Barracks Bathhouse for men. Larae steam-room. drv sauna. showers, lounge, to s&e, rooms, lockers: 56 Widmer Street; Toronto. IJ esponsibie and safe. Open since 1974. 416-593-0499. Need custom clothing for your Residence? Faculty?

Club?

Organization

? intramural

Team?

SUBSCFUPTIONS ~ l FdlOr ‘Winter $17.75 I

Complimentary shuttle bus to Lyric - Saturday Nights only - picks up at St. Michael’s Church on University Avenue and Kinko’s in the University Plaza even/ 40 minutes startina at 9:30 o.m. “The Spa On Maitland”, Bathhouse for Bi and Gay men. Rooms, lockers, saunas, steam rooms, showers, fully licensed bar. Students t/2 price all the time with valid student ID. 66 Maitland Street, Toronto. 4 16-925-I 57 1. Math tutoring - honours degree in mathematics, currently in Masters at UW (C&0>, 2 years teaching assistant experience and 4 years private tutoring experience. Call Kim at (519) 578-7018. Essay Research and Assistance - any subjects A to Z. Anthropology, Business, Commerce, Drama, East Asian Studies...Zoology. Highly qualified graduates will help! Call (416) 280-6113 or fax 1416) 960-0240 or email custome@interlog.com Math Tutoring - Honours degree in mathematics, currently in Masters at UW (C 8 0), 2 years teaching assistant experience, and 4 years private tutoring experience. Call Kim at 578-7018.

Technical Support Engineers-we need dynami and talented individuals to work in a fast-paced ani challenging Technical Support team environmen’ This motivated self-starter will be responsible fc providing Tier II level technical support to o~j corporate customers primarily via email and te ephone. Location: Toronto, Canada. SkillslExper ence: must have WinNT and UNIX experience a well as programming knowledge in Pearl, HTML, C and/or C++. Please fax to 408-933-1800 or ema blair@backweb.com Fresh faces needed - male/female all ages/size for fashion/hair shows, catalogue work, extras, n $20-$901hour. l-800-268-8635. Weekend Cooks wanted for Winter Term 200( Are you a super keen cooking machine? We ar seeking weekend cooks for the Winter Term. Mu: be highly organized, creative, enthusiastic an able to work independently. Previous kitchen expf rience in large quantity cooking preferred. Ear $8.001hour, working IO:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m., Sa urday, Sunday and Holidays. Please drop off or fa your resume to Main Office, Waterloo Co-operativ Residence, 268 Phillip Street, Waterloo. Applic; tion deadline is Friday, November 19. Fax (5X 888-6398. Christmas gift wrappers - creative individual: locations-downtown Toronto, North YorE Mississauga. Managers to $8.25/hour plus bc nuses. Wrappers to $7.15lhour. Full or part-time December l-24. (416) 538-8588. Telemarketing - earn $7~$17 per hour. Free foo and music, part or futl time, weekends availablt flexible schedule, 28 job openings. Start toda: KitchenerIKing Street. 742-9990. - Sororities - Clubs - Studel Fraternities Groups...earn $1 ,OOO-$1,500 this semester wil the easy CIS three hour fundraising event. N sales required. Fundraising dates are filling quickly so call l-800-797-5743 today or vis www.camousfundraiser.com! Weekend Counsellors and Relief Staff to work homes for individuals with developmental cha lenges, Experience, minimum 8-month commi ment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Made K-W Habilitation Services, 106 Sydney Street, 5 Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2.

We’ve

ot polar fleece vests, tearaways, Hospital pants. all for a free catalcque Angels (Ladies) Softball Club tryouts on Wednesday nights March 1, 8,22, 29, April 5, 12 and 19 at 8% to 10:00 p.m. at Stanley Park Public School. For our Jr. Age team (18 to 23) and intermediate team/s (open age group). Play/coach/manage or for more info contact Joe or John Forte at 579-4638 or jforte@goIden.net. The web site is http:// home.golden.net/-jforte. . f!

Queen futon with cover and convertible bed/ couch pine frame...$225. Bonus: free delivery to Waterloo or GTA. 416-763-0414, Eric.