FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3,2003
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"Uber-rad." Brent Taylor and Andrew Clelland
"Word." Andrew Paterson 1A applied studies
4A biochemistry and 4A economics
Across 1. Volcano products 6. Vomit 10.Jennifer's husband 14. Playing field 15. Haley's Sixth Sense mother 16. Tripped out party 17. How to win a staring contest 19.Again 20. White Siberian duck 21. Toyotaworkers 22. Submission 23. Born again 26. Egyptian capital 28. Beetle's horny front wings 32. A1 Capp Li'l porkpie hat wearing character 33. Mouth region 36. An affirmative 37. Replaces the ambassador 41. Abbreviation for horizontal 42. Popular musical, alternatelybane of students 43. Slow down 44. Candied Sea Holly root 47. Max the Dadaist or anti-Semite Zundel 48. O n the other side of the Cold War Brandenburg Gate 53. Sly; sneaky; with stealth 56. Rose genus 57. Buckwheat tree 60. Plaster backing Se~tember26 solution
"Still." Kevin Centeno and Emily Pihl
"Word to your mom." Brenda Lycke
2A math and music and 2A recreation and leisure studies
4A biology
61. White faced 63. Pimples 64. Other than what's present 65. Slightest degree 66. Global warming symptom 67. Lots of happy homosexuals 68. Beau9 and the Beast lead female Down 1. Asian communist country 2. Starch 3. Animal practice 4. Responder 5. Entrance test 6. Razor sharpener 7. Show the way 8. Tedium 9. Hairpiece 10. Hard liquor 11. Bombastic declaration 12. Affirm as true 13. Early morning grass 18. American Numismatic Association 22. Snake-like fish 24. StarTrek collective
25. Identity 26. Treasure trove 27. Loathe 29. Dictator-like 30. Smells to heaven 31. Object ofvalue 33. One of Beethoven's was joyful 34. Campaigned 35. Rear of the boat 38. Goddess of love 39. First murder victim 40. Annoy 45. Sister's son 46. Happy 49. Nonsensical humming syllable: 50. Autocratic and dominating 51. Chicago Cubs player Shawn 52. Light beam 53. Obscure form of flat 54. How many apiece? 55. Sichanvolcano 58. He of the apple trick 59. Monty Python cast member 61. Pirate's prosthesis 62. Beatles'adjective nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.c
By Erin 1. Gilmer and Rachel Shugart "Bam!" Alex Kostiuk 1A arts
"Get on the trolley, Rube." Dave Girodat, Nikki MacDaddy and Mike Murray 2A civil engineering, 2A political science and 2A history
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"S'up?" Steph Hill and Steph Foster 2A psychology and 2A psychology
"Chillin' with a forty, watching over my shorty." Mike Kerrigan
Kurt Gooden 4A science and business; physics
Kurt Gooden is a savvy physics major in science and business who plans on being the leader of a major corporation one day. He likes girls with a nice smile, especially if they squeeze his nipples a bit. Kurt is happiest with a pitcher of beer and a bunch of friends. Watch out, girls, if he really likes you, this Alberta native will take you on a romantic stroll to the Calgary Stampede.
4 8 psychology and political science
Look out ladies, next week it's your turn to be featured.
Candidates, meet your public Kimberly Mackhan IMPRINTSTAFF
Universities o McMaster University's Hospitality Services will discontinue usage of all Styrofoam containers, labeled as damaging to the environment, as long as a person is placed at the popular Commons cafeteria exit to guard against dish theft. Ryerson's new cafeteria remained closed through the secondweekof classes after building inspectors shut down therenovation project for violating provincial law. U of T President, Rob Birgeneau, is aiming to overcome a student-facultyratio of 30 to 1 by "increasing our budget by year-over-year inflation plus, ideally, 20 per cent after six years." The Schulich School of Business at York University was the highest ranked Canadian business school by Forbes magazine. Schulich was ranked sixth among the top 10 business schools outside the US. 0 Student at the McGill University are joining with other groups across Quebec to push for a general strike in order to counter the province's apparent plans to introduce post-secondary funding cutbacks.
The K-W MPP "all candidates" forum held in the SLC on Monday was attended by over 150 students. Among the issues discussed at the open meeting were freezesin tuition, deregulation of programsand the shortage of faculty in universities. Left to right: Dan Lajoie (NDP), Elizabeth Witmer (PC), Frank Reynolds (moderator),Pauline Richards (Green) and Owen Ferguson (independent).
Canada
o Statscan has revealed that stabbing was the most common method of commiting homicides in Canada in 2002, with 31 per cent of homicides. It was followed by shootings at 26 per cent, beatings at 21 per cent and strangulation or suffocation at 11 per cent. SolicitorGeneralWayne Easter said the federal government will try to toughen up a proposed national sex-offenderregistry to includenot only convicted sex-criminalsbut those currentlyserving sentences for sex offences as well. A report from the Canada Millennium Scholarship Foundation concluded that half of high school students who score in the top 40per cent in math and literacy tests do not pursue college or university training because they feel disaffectedwith school.
Committee for new UW prez now forming Nominees for next universitv head mav be redundant if Tohnston wants to return i
Mark Stratford IMPRINTSTAFF
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makes a recommendation, leaving it to the board of governors and the senate to accept orreject. Robert Kerton, UW's dean of arts, may wind up on the committee, since Policy 50 also requires "aprofessorial rank from each faculty." He outlined the procedure the committee will soon be going through to find UW's next leader.
They will likely have a staple of people. The universitywill advertise." Kerton is gearing up for his possible role on the committee by thinking about what he'd like to see in Johnston's successor. "The election committee has to ask themselves, 'Are we only looking on campus [for a new president]?' You could argue that they would have more expertise and would better know what's going on, but that's a decision they have to make." All of this could be water under the bridge; Johnston may choose to repeat his term (a president can be re-elected and serve up to 12 years). "The committee will first ask him, 'Are youwilling to serve [again]?'Ifhe feels comfortable in the leadership,then he will probably sen7e on. If he says yes, the path will bevery lfferent thanifhe says no. You have to find out from him first." For his part, Johnston appears to be keeping out of the kitchen for now. When asked in an email for a simple statement about how he views UWnselectoralprocess,Johnstonrepliedvith a polite decline. Wrote he: "I should not joinin the reviewprocess in any way. Cheers." Johnston, a recognized academic in law and public affairs,was principal of hlcGill University for 15 ears before coming hereinJul!- 1999. He is U W s fifth president, and only time will tell if he is sticking around for another six years.
For the vast majority of us, David Johnston has been president of UW for our entire university careers. However, this week marks what might possibly be the beginning of his dethroning. Since every term of presidency at UW is six years long, Johnston- who took office on June "I should not join in 1,1999-will see his term end on June 30,2005. Though it may seem premature, now is the time the review process that the selected committee must begin drumin any way. Cheers." ming up nominees worthy of following in International Johnston's footsteps. -David Johnston T o quote from UW Policy 50, which deals UW President o The number of s~ngleRussian women is exclusively with the conditions, qualifications increasing due to a soaring dworcerate since the and responsibilities of being UW president: collapse of communism 11 years ago. Some 60 "VC'hen nominations for the president of the "I think step one is to define the kind of per cent of Russian marriages now end in di- university are required, as through notice of president you want," he explained. "You want vorce. someone with administrative skills, you want resignation, death or the approaching end of a o The Israeli cabinet voted on Wednesday to term, a nominating committee shall be formed someone who's able to influence others. The approve construction of the a securttybarrier that president also needs to be a fund-raiser, which [. . .] no earlier than 18 months and no later than leaves runs deep inside the West Bank and creates one full calendaryear prior to the end of the term takes a lot of work and which requires an outa partition for Israel. ofoffice of the incumbent." P o read Policy 50in standing job." London's High Court ruled against allowing its entirety, go to ~nv~~~.adm.uwaterloo.ca/Kerton uses the metaphor "natural monvo women having children without the coninfosec/Policies/policJ~50.pdf.) nopoly," meaning that the right person for the sent of thcir former partners by using in ~ ~ i t r o The first step is to assemble a committee, job should be so fit for the job that they "mofertilization treatment and exploit frozen em- which, as Policy 50 dictates, consists ofthe channopolize" the opportunity. "You don't want bryos. three dfferent electricitycompanies all settingup cellor of the university and a mishmash of board According to a L o s A q e I e s Tinza' poll, and faculty/staff members (the deadline for lines on your street," he laughs, alluding towhat Republican challengeriirnold Schwarzenegger nominating new committee members was last wdl certainly be a meticulous search on the comhas made strong gains over his opponents and Wednesday). Once put together, the committee mittee's part. "Youneed some natural expertise. was famured by 40 per cent of likely voters. Mexico's first lady, Marta Sahagun, a staunch defender of family values, got an eyeful when pictures of naked men and a woman appeared on alargeprojector screenduringa chddren's charity "Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always presentation she delivered on Tuesday.
write a book."
-Ronald Reagan 48*Q$tZt ' " + B E
* ? e ? P ? * + $ C B S P f B
FRIDAY, OCTOBER3,2003
A first-rate way of finding your flat UW graduate launches Website to fight poor student housing Julie Diener SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
"I got tired and frustrated with how long it took and how difficult itwas to find a decent place to liveinWaterloo." Easy for you to relate?Steven Friko brings down the house with his newly launched Website developed to improve the quality and conditions of rental housing. Friko's site, www.room4me.ca, is designed to be a bulletin board for students and landlords; it combines house, apartment and room listings with reviews of local housing and landlords. The goal is to provide students with a better idea of what to expect before even booking an appointment to visit a prospective dwelling. "As students, we don't have time to spend hours looking at places," says Friko. So this recent UWgaduate sought to give something back to students that would make their busy lives a little easier and their renting experiences alittle less horrible. He bitterlyrelates on the site some of h s own past experiences.TrumpedLIP house descriptions, failure on the part of landlords and subletters to
show up for tour appointments and those mysterious "missinglandlord" issues are the most common complaints among students.
"Landlords would be forced to clean up their slums before anyone would rent them out." -Steven Fricko room4me. ca creator
Fnko encourages everyone to help influence change. "If all rental houses were posted on a site where people reviewed the houses that they had seen or Inred In, erentuall~only the cleanest houses with the mostresponSIX-elandlords would be rented out and the other landlords would be forced to clean up thelr slums before anyone would rent them out."
So far the site, which has been up and running since early September, has posted only a few houses and reviews. However, options for students visiting the site should quickly multiply and even reach to the edges of Canada as more students contribute. When you log in you will have access to make new house postings and add reviews. Making additions is straightfonvard enough: To post a new house address, simply type it in and the site makes the adding of reviews fairly easy yet thorough. It alsopro\ldes somegreatlinksto maps, full address searches and other helpful housing sites. Again, the content ofthe site is still limited, and its effectiveness is yet to be proven, but Friko welcomes any information, feedback,or suggestions and stresses the fact that the service is free to students. There has already been much positive feedback from many who have checked out room4me.ca, because it really does make searching for decent housing quicker, simpler and easier. If Friko's future plans come to fruition, the site will eventually deal with all housing problems, from
DEVOLUTION WEDNESDAY THURSDAYS with MS. DREW & CREW FRIDAY DANCE PARTY w i t h D J MATT RUSSELL $ SIZZLING SATURDAYS with DJ JAYSON S @ A ~ X ' S.I.N. SUMDAYS with DJ M U F F Y ST. BERNARD WITH T H E BEST OF T H E 8 0 s , 90s & TODAY'S HITS
booking appointments to seeing houses, from signing leases to possiblyexchangingpaymentsben~~eenstudents and landlords. He would also
like to add other features such as classified ads, which would enable students to find their new homes and their furniture all at one location.
Do not pass up UW's board game display, do not collect $200 Anne Faye SPECIALTO IMPRINT
The Elliott hvedon Museum and the UW Archive of Games are working together to put on a display, "TV Shows and Game Shows." The museum, founded in 1971, is a public establishment devoted to the exploration and conservation of the collected works of particular games and game-related objects. In 2000, it was rechristened in tribute ofits founder, now-retiredUW Prof. Elliott Avedon. Currently, the museum has a wideranging suite of TV show collections and game show anthology. UW intends to offer the right to utilize its collectiontoits spectators,as resources will allow. Board games of starring favourite childhood classics such as Batman, He-Man and Wonder Woman are currently in the museum's display cases. "This exhibit takes the visitor on a walkdown inemoqlane,wheregames like 'The Dukes of Hazards,' 'Happy Days'and 'Scooby Doo'are ondsplay and ready toplay," saidJennifer Gdlies, museum technician. Meanwhile, TV game shows such as "Family Feud," ''%%eel of Fortune" and the "Price is R~ght"are being put on view at the exhibition. Many of the games come fromvarious corners of the world and include a collectionofmore than 5,000 objects.
There is even a section dedicated to children's and family TV shows, including "Leave it to Beaver" and "Rainbow Brite." "Visitors can play agame of NHL Stanley Cup hockey or look over the intricatedetails of the 'Star Trek' game. This fun-fded exhibit features an opportunity forvisitors toplay and enjoy many of these games," Gillies said. As of Spring 2003, the Website celebrateditstenth year andis continuing to evolve. Indices are constantly updated as new "Virtual Exhibits" are added. One or more illustrations of items from specificcollectionsare documented through web pages. These illustrations containcountless photographs that were taken by U\Vs first president, the late Gerald Hagey. The department of recreation and leisure studies helps to administer presentations associatedwith the museum, the archive and its collections. The museumis a faction ofthe Waterloo Heritage Collections and obtains financial support from the Ontario hlinistnofTourism, Culture and Recreation. Students can visit the museum from hlonday through Friday from 1 p.m. until 5 p . m at B.C. hlatthews Hall. The free, on-campus exhibitwill be open to the public through midJanuary. -withjIesjiim UW media relations
CIBC executive doles out new scholarships to UW students
University Plaza shuts down TD Canada Trust ABM Branch seeks new location near campus
Kimberly Mackhan
Dan Zlotnikov IMPRINT STAFF
OnThursday, September 25,the University Plaza replaced the T D Canada Trust ,4BM with a "white label" or "noname" ABM The two closest TD Canada Trust ABMs are now located at the Westmount Plaza, 50 Westmount Road, andat the corner of University and Weber. Students and universityemployeeswho are not CIRC clients have the choice ofliterallygoing the distance orpayingup: Every transaction at a CIBC machine costs $1.50
"no-name" ATM machine located inside the University Plaza Farah's Food Mart used to be, in not-toodistant memory, a Royal Bank ABM. The money collected by the generic ATMs as transaction surcharges goes directly to the ATM owner. All is not lost, however, as T D
CanadaTrust~snot gmngup: “V'e are acuvelv loolung for a n a v locatmn as near to the uni~ersitycampus as possible," said Victor Zamin, manager of operations at the Ontario Central Region office. If you have suggestions for a possiblelocationnear campus,please forward them to the author of this article (his e-mailis listed below). All suggestions will be fonvarded to T D Canada Trust for consideration.
I
"The universe is change; Our lifeis what Our thoughts make it." -Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
IMPRINT STAFF
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Post-secondary education does not come cheap. Yearly tuition in Canada can cost anywhere from $4,000to over $8,000, dependmg on the program and university you decide to attend. O n Monday, CIBC senior executive Wayne Fox and CIBC bestowed major contributions in the form of new scholarships to assist U W students. One such scholarshipis the arts faculty's Wayne Fox Graduate Scholarship. CIBC,one ofNorth America's chief financial institutions, is one of Canada's biggest corporate donors. Fox, who graduated with a B.A. from UW in 1971,has been known to g v e generously to h s ulma mater. "As a Canadian, I believe very strongly that we can't afford to randomly starve and feed our education institutions. We have to step forward with the offer of a new and enduring partnership," he said. TheCIBC Corporationis offering a $2 million donation that will introduce perks such as the following: (1)Entrance and upper-year levels undergraduatexholarshipsin the faculty of mathefnatics worth $1.3 million. T o start, there will be one renewable, CIBC National Scholarship,valued at f 25,000 over a four year period, which will be available to first-year students. Upper-year students will be able to apply for one of six scholarships, worth $5,000 each annually. 'We felt that an excellentway to contribute to
Wayne Fox (left) and Isabel Fox stand alongside scholarship recipient Ethan Toombs and UW president Dave Johnston. the betterment of societywould be to provide financial assistance for top young scholars," Fox said. (2)Joint research efforts in the faculty ofmathematics (department of statistics and actuarial science and school of computer sclence) and the faculty of arts (school of accountancy) to help boost research in finance and insurance through a $670,000 grant. This grantwillcreateajunior Research Chair in the Institute for Quantitative Finance and Insurance. (3)John Crossley,principalofRenison College, announced that "CIBC's $30,000 donation will be used for urgently needed academic and study facilities for our faculty and students at the college."Students atthe UWafffiated collegewill benefit from a building fund that improves study spacevia the construction of a group study centre at Renison. The charitable gifts from Fox and
THE RECORD
his wife, Isabe1,wiIl also add to graduate student scholarships in the faculty of arts at Waterloo. They have made personal contributions of $1 milLon to help set up ten endowed graduate scholarships.Neil Gordon, senior~+epresident, branch and small business banking, commented, "We want to do our part in assisting young people to pursue their education at the undergraduate andgraduate levels.This investment in human resources is vital to the future of our country." UW president DavidJohnstonwas among those in attendance at the donation ceremony. He stated,"Thenew scholarships will help us attract the very best students and recognize the achievements of outstanding young scholars.Scholarshipsare essential for introducing successfulgraduates into research and academiccareers."
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3,20C?1
lijmmu5
Back to Class! BONUS Movie Pass!
Convocation brings honourary degrees to live important figures Krvstle Chatar SPECIALTO IMPRINT
Pulse Backoack BA346
Slam Backpack BA347
M ~ Backpack X BA348
At U\Vs fall convocation on October 25, honorary degrees will be conferred on five distinguished scholars. The event begins at 10 a.m. inU\V"s PhysicalActi\~itiesComplex. Pamela K'alhn will be the first scholar to accept aDoctor of Laws for this academic year. Saskatchewan-born Wallin's journalistic career extends in excess of 25 years and over several continents. \X7allin,who has already received four honoran degrees and several awards and honours in acknow1edg~ment of her work, will address graduates inapplied health sciences and arts. Recently, she hosted the special Canadian edition of Who Wants To Be A A/IiIlionaire. In April 2000, Wahn was appointed to UW's board of governors and is a "dedicated advocate of UW and post-secondary education." O n the same morning, John Hobday will be given a Doctor of Letters (DLitt). Hobday has workedin the fields of the arts, radio and television, corporate sponsorship and philanthropy. He is currentlythe Director of the Canada Council for the Arts and has served on numerous commissims, committees, panels and boards (including the Canadian Commission for UNESCO and the Centre for CulturalManagement at the Universityof Waterloo). Hobday has produced and
directed over 700 radio dramas and in 2001, he was appointed to the Order of Canada.
Maria Klawe highlights how crucial failure is to learning.
As the afternoon proceeds, Dr. Maria I(lawe will collect a Doctor of Mathematics (Dhlath) and address graduates in engineering,environmental studies, independent studm, mathematics and science. Idawe is the dean of Princeton University's School of Engineering and Applied Science and holds a professorship in the Department of Computer Science. "As dean of science at the University of British Columbia,Maria I(lawe has shown aremarkable effectiveness in helping talented people from diverse disciplines work together to achieve results far greater than anything they expected to produce on their own," said Princeton university president ShirleyM. Tilghman. IUawe worked for IBM for eight years and founded and managed the DiscreteMathematics Group. In 1995, she was appointed vice president for student and academic services at the
University of British Columbia and dean of science in 1998. I(lawe highlights how crucial failure is to learning, as not failing indicates that one ma!not be aiming high enough. A Doctor of Engineering (DEng) mill be presented to Prof. William Milne, head of the electrical engineering department at the Universit). of Cambridge. Milne's contributions to the engineering and science communities include "setting the benchmark in t h n film technology for large area electronics on glass and plastic." Receiving an honorary Doctor of Science (DSc) is Abraham Haleq-,"the father of the cut flower industry in Israel." H a l e y is the author of ox-er 300 physiological papers and is the \X701fson Family Professor of Ornamental Horticulture (Emeritus) in the faculty of agriculture at Hebrew Universig ofJerusalem. The title of "Distinguished Professor Emeritus" will be bestowed upon Prof. Peter Silvestonat this year's fall convocation. Silveston joined UW in 1963as an associate professor in the department of chemical engineering, and retiredin 1997 as a full professor. Annick and Roland LeCorre, volunteer hosts of the Trent-WaterlooToronto Exchange Program at the University of Nantes in France and Prof. Peter Roe, a founder of the systems design engineering department, wdl also receive "Honorary Member of the University" titles.
Meal: now available in pairs Continued from cover
International Student Identity Gard (ISIC) A c c e s s Student Class AirfaresTMfor Canada and around the world
According to Murdoch the practice of preventing students from buying meals for others has beenin place for approximately 10 years, but in recent terms front line Food Services ernployees noticed a significant increasein the number of people buying meals and selling them to others. Murdoch said he "thought he had the correct interpretation [of tax law] but that if Kerrigan] was able to secure a different interpretation, that would be fantastic."
Despite the ruling, placards notieing students of U W s old policies remained posted at Food Services outlets. hlurdoch apologized for "dropping the ball" on the poster issue. He reassured students, dons, and Food Services managers in a memo that new posters will be up by the end of the week. The new posters notify students that they are now able to purchase ameal for another person, but any applicable taxes (GST) will be applied to the lower priced meal. Feds and Gillis sent a request to CCRA on August 5 for an official
interpretation of the federal tax laws applicable to tax exempt meal plans, and are awaitingaresponse. Murdoch encourages this, calling it a "fantastic opportunity for Feds to pursue the needs of students." "Given the response we got from Ontario," said Feds president Chris Edey, "we are confident that we will have the same response from the CCRA. Then residents can buy meals for their boyfriends or girlfriends or parents without difficulty."
Humanity and health go hand in hand
Save 35% on economy class point-to-point tickets with VIA Rail S a v e 25% on Greyhound point-to-point tickets
Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF
Langar Day for student equality
The Sikh Student Association (SSA) is organizing a Langar Day on Monday, October 6. Langar,whichliterallymeans "open kitchen,"is apractice originally started in the 16th century by the founder of Siktusm, GuruNanak, as avehicle for sharing free food with Indian people of various origins. The purpose of langar is to eliminate roles among
cla>sc.s,culn~rcs and pencicrs, since thc t k t is opcn to cver!vne rcg~rdlcssof who r1xv are or what the!. believe. I'lc~senote thar langar consists o f onl!. vegetarian food, since diikrenr faiths have different diets and ideals. Langar Daywillbe heldin the SLC, and will run from 10:30 a.m. until all the food is gone. There is no cost all the food is supplied by the SSA and everyone is welcome. Consider this getting a free meal and celebrating brotherhood at the same time! Health department unveils think tank
The Waterloo Institute of Health Informatics have just begun the Waterloo Health InformaticsThinkTank,
or WHI'IT, with thegoals of cracking health system secrets and drawinginterested souls into the field of Health Informatics (this subject deals with how information management and communication affectmedical knowledge and discoveries). Muchlike the student experiments often takingplace in the PAS buildmg, WHITT sessions will include participants based on the subject at hand. All sessions are professionally facilitated andqpicallylastless thanaday Allwill take place on campus. Interested parties should contact Shirley Fenton, managing director of theinstitute, by phone at 888-4074 or e-mail at hi@uaaterloo.ca.
'FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3,2003
OPINION oplmon@irnprint uwaterloo ca
Close vour eves and walk
found, not bought. It can be foundin anything, anywhere. One could find happiness in the thought that they are The other morning I was heading to keepingaman h e for another day, or my job in the mall, not an exceptional that they gave without taking. But no, the wealthy must take. job by any standards, but a job nonetheless.Whilewalkingint0 themall to They must get the most for the least. get several slices of wonderful Texas It's grown into a vital need in this toast from A&W, a man approached world. See that man huddled in blankets me and the gentlemanwalking beside me, requesting some change for a cof- over there?In the corner?Everyday he begs for change so fee. I, being addicted that he can buy to both of the most popular consumer another blanket for dmysonthemarket happiness, the winter, or a . . sandwich for his (nicotineand caffeine), sympathised with , him deeply. The genentirely COnCep- y o ~ w i l k bsilent ~, and frightenedof a tleman walktng beside tual. shattered man. me held the viewpoint You're on your of the majority. He was well off, drove a car more expen- way to spend two hundred dollars on sive than my entire university educa- an iomzmg air filter so that the dust tion and wore clothes that cost as doesn't irntate your nose. But the much as four days' food. His reaction manm the blankets doesn't ask for all consistedof a flusteredgrimace, quick- that money, onlya couple dollars so he ened pace and deliberate silence.Igave can buy Kleenex to wlpe blood from the man the fifty cents I had and h s face, sore and decaymg from exposure bought him some toast. X young girl begs for money in I'm not trying to say that 1 am Jesus of the twenty first century; just front of a Future Shop.Thev tryto lack that t h s is what should be done. It her awa~7and she goes mto the parlung cost me all of $1.65 to give this man a lot, beggmg from every driver. Anhalf decent breakfast and a coffee. I noymg, they call her, a nmsance. After think that everybody could certainly awhlle she gets enough money for spare thatmuch, especiallythe wealthy anothermal of crack It's her fault she's middle aged men who simply do not addcted, but it's your fault too. You have the courage to do anything but don't have the courage to take her mto your home, to push away fears and get walk on quickly. The problemis greed. People think help. W l p ? Because you already spend that they work for their money and are entitled to horde it like vicious too much on cable, electricityand runNeanderthals coweringin a cave dur- ning water. Because you're afraid of ingwinter, hanging on to last morsels losing the money you hold close to of fruit. In this, they are partially right. your heart at night. Because you're an addict too. Happiness does require a small amount of money, buthappiness, at its core, is entirely conceptual. Happiness is
Free time - a luxurv we can't afford
Tim Alamenciak
COMMUNITY EDITORIAL
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Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief, Christine Baker editor@imprint.u~vaterloo.ca Assistant Editor, Lauren S. Breslin Cover Editor, Dan hIicak News Editor, l m b e r l y Mackhan Nex-s Assistant, vacant News Layout, hlark Stratford Opinmn Editor, vacant Opinion Assistant, Andrea I<erswiil Features Editor, Tim Ailamenciak Features .lssistant, Sarah 1,au ,\ITS Editor, Ian Blechschm~dt Arts Assistant, vacant Science Editor. Erin Gilmer Science Assistant, hlichelle Rorkc Sports Editor, Sarah l\llmendinger Sports Assistant, vacant Photo Editor, Margie Mansell Photos Assistant, Chelsea Prescod
Graphic Echtor, Julian Apong Graph~csAssstant, Toe Murkam Web, Durshan Ganthan VC eb Xss~stanr,Matt Lee Systems Xdmmstrator, vacant Systems Assistant, vacant 1 ead ptootreader, Rachel Shugart Ploofreader, Heramh Ranlachandran Proofreader, Rob\ n Huang Proofreader, Alicia blah Proofreader, Phil \\ einer Office Staff General manager, Catherine Bolger cath! .bolger@i~nprint.uwarerloo.ca Ad\-ertising & production manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.u~vatcrloo.ca Adverusing assistant, x acant Distribution, Alum Neclakanteswar Distribution, Giriia Padhy
FACTS OF LIFE 'We are bag that we my have leimre. "Aristotle The pace of life keeps getting faster. How many of us would describe our lives (even occasionally) as leisurely? Hell, most weeks I'd settle for hectic. We are constantly rushing from one thing to the next. Conversation often turns to how busy we are and how little time we have. We fill our time as though beingidle is unacceptable and view those who seem to juggle it all as ultimately successful. The demands of school and work occupy an increasinglylarge amount of our time. According to the most recent census data, students aged 15 to 24 reported an average of over 47 hours per week in education and related activities. In order to get by, many add on a part-time job (fulltime for,some unfortunate individuals). Factor in recreational endeavours such as clubs, family, friends, and a meager attempt at a sociallifeand you are left with a bunch of burnt out, stressed out people who often de-
Volunteer co-ordmator, Jessica Tao Board of Directors board@~mpnnt.uaa t e r l o o a President, Andrew Dllts Vice-president, Matt Strauss Treasurer, Neal Moogli-Soulis Secretary, AI~chelleTitus Staff liaison, hhke I<errigan staff.liaison@imprint.u~vaterloo.ca
Production staff Productmn assistant. I<ourtne! Short Salman Ali, Daniel Dharmasuq-a, Julie DIener, Andrew Dilts, Donella D'Souza, Kristina J a m s , Christine Loureiro, Anasta~ia Mandz~uk,Tim ;1Iollison, Garick Stevenson, Bianca Tong, Dean \Yhelton. I@& is the official student newspaper of the University of \Yaterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Im-
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scribe themselves as a "little ouerwhelmed" (as ~f~tis possible to feel only slght(y overwhelmed) and who regularly feel exhausted. Not only does soclety saj that we canhaveitall-wewant~tall. Wewant an educauon, a career, friends. .a hfe. Free urne has become aluxurymanyof us can't afford. As a result we fLU much of our ume outside ofworkand schoolulthother acuwues and responsibihues whch should fulfLU us, entertam us or bring us enjoyment but instead over-burden us Full-ume student by day employee, volunteer, club member, friend, fast-food lunhe, superhero by mght. What httle free ume we have, we often spend in front of the TV, too burnt out to do anythmg beneficd. The most recent census data in&cated that only 97 per cent of Canadlans over 15~ndlcatedhamngfree ume. The technologes that were supposed to save us ume, g v e us more free ume and free us from work have only made it harder to get away. High speedmternet, e-mad and cell phones make us avadable almost anywhere, anyume. Nowwe feelhkewe couldn't hve wthout them. Everythmgwould take so long-and, m reahty, some of ~t would. Butwouldtt really be the end ofthe world ifwe were actually unreachable for, say, a few hours. They even have to remind us to turn off cell phones
before movies. Time is truly a commodity. We spend time and save time. Time spent doing nothing is considered wasted. Our time is bought by employers. Our time is sold to big advertisers when we do take tame out to watch tv or read a magazine. Advertisers have even figured out a way to fLU the time we spend in the bathroom by putting ads right in our face. Meeting over coffee or lunch to discuss an upcoming project isn't an excuse to go out to eat, it is often the only way to squeeze nourishment into your schedule. Only 86 per cent of Canadmx aged 15 to 24 reported spending time eatingmeals outside of restaurants. Fortunately, looper cent of respondents in the censusindicated taking time for sleep. There are weeks in every educational experience where there simply isn't enough time to get everything done and sleep isn't an option. Some days I feel like tossing my cell phone, gettingdial-up internet access and forgetting to check my e-mail -indefinitely. I would wish for more hours in the day except thatwould only mean that I would have more to do. Remember "time-outs" when you were little? Would somebody please re-mtroduce those into adult hfe? Please.
print Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA).
may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Impnnfs policies with respect to our code of ethics and journalisuc standard?
Editorial subm~ss~ons may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the mater~al commercially in any format or medium as pan of the newspaper database, Web site or an!. other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, lncluding articles, letters, photos and gmphlcs, \ dlgrant Inzptiizt first publication nglits of their submitted material, and as such, agrcc not to submit the same work to any other publication or group unul such tune as the inatenal has been distr~butcd in an issue of Imprint, or Impnnf declares t h e ~ r intent not to pubhsh the material. The full test o f this agreement is available upon request. Impnnt does not guarantee to pubhsh arucles, photographs, letters or advemsmg. Matenal
Imp& is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Inipr.it~t reserves the r ~ g h tto screen, edit and refuse adverusing. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Impr.int CDN Pub Mail Product Salcs Xgreeinent no. 40065122
Next staff meetings: Monday, October 6 12:30 p.m., S I L 1116 Monday, October 13 1230 p.m., SLC 1116 Next production night: Wednesday, October 8 530 p.m., SLC I l l 6
FRIDAY, OCTOBER3,2UO 3
Phone-sex: an uninterrupted experience
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So, you're sitting on your bed tallung on the phone with that special someone and all of a sudden the corn-ersation takes a turn: "Alright baby, we really need to go .o bed . . . it's late." "Yeah, I reallywish youwere here, I miss you so much." "Oh the things I would do to you if I was there . . . " "I can only imagme." "Just the thought of what I'd be doing to you is getting me hard." The next thing you know, you have become engaged in a invigorating variation of the enjoyable passtime of intercourse -phone-sex. Most recently included in the second instalment of American Pie, the fear of getting caught in the act was demonstrated; thus, making the appeal of participating in such phone
Work report policy unfair
To the edttor, I disagree wlth the current pohcy concermng the submiss~onof work report employer evaluauons In the Faculty of Math. According to the Math undergraduate office, if the work report evaluaaon~snot submitted along w ~ t the h work report by the deadhne, an NCR IS entered Into the student's co-op record whch means that the student recen es no credt forhs or her work term Is ~tfairto penalize a student for an emplover's tardmess2 T h s IS not an isolated situauon, either I have talked to numerous others who have had to badger employers endlessly to get t h s evaluauon, and often to n o avad There is a supulauon that a work report can be resubmitted the next term for markmg; however, t h s IS an unnecessaryinconvemence for many students golng Into a work term. -BiZnca Tong
3B appliedmath
such activities, it was completely imantics lacklustre. Ingrained in our promptu. minds is Stifflerinterrupting the long distancecouple'sfirstattemptatachievWhen approaching this subject ing phone stimulation and the awkwith various students, they reacted wardness that followed. Since aphone with uncertainty. Initially many misline lacks definite privacy, consideraunderstood the specifics,thlungthat tion of a possible interference is exI was referring to 1-900 numbers whch I am not. pected. I mean, come Phone-sex with on, do you really want strangersis awhole a roommate to hft the "I can only imag- other ston.. This is receiver and hear your a matter of acerotic moans and proine." quainted conversavocative language? "Just the tions that move to Most likely not (exhgher level. Para ceptforsome extreme thought of what ticipating in this exhibitionists). I'd be doing to dial-an-orgasm Luckily for me, my phenomenonis of introduction to you is getting great benefit that I phone fiddling was me hard." recommend for all. without inopportune -Michelle and Brett Masturbating disruptions. Coinciaside, phone-sex dentally, there was losing their phone sex offers the opporonly one telephone virginily tunity to become available at my flat engorged (thanks to a drunken - - in many other ways. Requiringa vivid imaginafreak toilet accident, may my cute purple phone rest in peace) andmy equally tion, creativitywillgrowand the juices u7iU flow more freely. Since no visual experimental counterpart was home stimulation is available, discussing alone. A comfortable aura added to intimate details is pertinent, which the experience as it progressed with contributes to the expansion of sexual the simple knowledge that nothing vocabulary and the embracement of could hinder our attempt to get off. your sexuality. Talhng "dirty" withNo planning was made to partake in
out hesitation takes practice for some, whlle others seem to be naturals phone-sex strengthens this banter. Later,when the phone is removed and physicalcontactmade, this chatter can be incorporated wherever you decide to screw. Communication is a venimportant part of a relationshp and phone eroticism solidifies this element of a relationship. Obvious1~-,if you can articulate about the insertion of a large throbbing cock into a dripping warm pussy, other more conservative topics will be easier to confront. Physically, phone-sex is more appealingthanmere self-satisfactionbecause it is no longer an individual sport. Hearing the voice of someone you care deeply about brings a whole new intensity. Knowing that on the other end of theline another is partaking in similar efforts intensifies the experience significantly. For some, phone-sex is an opportunity to retain a strong sexual bond while separated by distance. Not being able to be together is extremely difficult,when there areneeds that must be fulfilled (some more than others) phone-sex is the answer. Even for those who areluckyenough to be near their lover regularly, phone experi-
eventual control of the umvers~tywd be spht Into the vanous facuons of ethmc clubs, simtlar to those foundin prison. Now, I'm not an expert on prl3on, or more spec~fically how "gangs" or "clubs" are formed and run, but I am pretq sure that at least everyone gets a chance at equalrepresentauon. So I want to know where I can )om a whtepeople'sclub. Weexlst hereat (SIC) WaterWOO, however, no one seems to acknowledge our presence, at leastm club form. Everywhere I see on campus there are always events for Asians, Fdipinos,Vietnamese, you nameit, you can probably find a serniformal, a night at Fed Hall, or some other kind of social event planned. I want to Gnd a clubwhere white people can come together, join hands and celebrate beingwhite. If anyone knows of where I can find such a club, please let me know as the Internet isn't very helpful. I did google search for "clubs for w h t e people" and all I found was a link to asianweek.com,their opinion page, in which a white person wrote a letter referringto the lack of (sic) "ethic clubs for white people."
ing the due dates, assigrnents and prof contact info. At first, we only realized the due dates andcontactinfoweremissingso we emailed the distance education department for the info, since they don't seem to answer theirtelephones. A week later, and a day past the first assignment's due date, they finally got backtous. Nowwe are qingtogetthe assignments.D o they contact us? No. One would think that they would want to get back to us quickly in a matter like ths. I will admit that my husband should have realized sooner that the assignments were missing, but the least the D E department could do was get off their butts and respond to the students. I understand'that they are busy but maybe if they didn't mess up in the first place then they wouldn't b e having these .problems now. This is just another example of how UW doesn't give a fig for their students. The most that I can say is that the next person who calls me to ask for a donation as an alumni can forgetit. I would rather toss the money in the trash whereitwould do as much good.
corridor,up the stairsand dlthe building entrance at 7:30. Several things came to my mind at that moment. 1. Student tendencies to put off submitting resumes to the last moment creates undue chaos and traffic on the last day of the posting. The situation on Monday got so bad that security personnelwere required to barricade the doors while around 50 people were still waiting outside. 2. The lines for photocopying machnes that lasted for hours. Perhaps a bank of more machines could be set up in the co-op buildng to help the students. 3. The poor design of the staircase,or improper location of the deposit bins results in many students trapped at the lower level with only one stairway to go back to the upper level. The narrow corridor and small doorways also contributes to the claustrophobic effect. In some cases the situation almost becomes as dangerous as a chock fullstadium.Perhaps the co-op department should reconsider the current process of applying for jobs.
-Reuben ~ a k o h o n & k , 4B science
-Jennifer Menna, Arts alzlmna
Where can I join?
To the edztor, Herrnbamade agoodpointwhen she said that there are too many ethmc and rehgous clubs on campus. I agree with her when she talks about downs~zing,but we also need to en sure that there is agood club representauon of all the &verse students who attend Waterloo. All her talk about how the As~anscould band together into one powerful club is scary. She even went as far as to pre&ct that the
-Hussain Kakal,
2A Mechanical Engineering
Co-op blues Down with distance
To the edztor; As a graduate with a husband who is takmgtkreedlstanceeducanon courses this fall from UW, I am really p~ssed. We received the course packages at the begimng of-September and h s C&O 227 were incomplete; they were mtss-
To the editor; Monday eveningsaw thc occurrence of an exceptional event in the history of the new co-op building as hundreds of students struggled to deposit their resumes on time. The interestingthing to note was the mass of humanity stretching to the outer through the
Keep it local
To the editor, I was disappointed to read yet another tired ehtorialabout the Israeli-Palestinian situation in last week's Imprint. The fact that the editorial was biased seems almost secondary sinceIqrint's coverage of this contentious topic is consistently slanted one way or the other. Iqrintdoes agreat job ofcovering
JULIAN APONG
mentation can spice things up without question. Being open to different mediums of sexualexpressionis a healthy way to maintam a relationship. Phone-sex is just another option to consider. Just remember to follow one important rule; do not answer the beep of the other line- can you say mood killer? Transcripts ofmy past phone conversations can be obtained by the email below - for the right price of course! (Ido have a long distance bill to pay.)
events and situations that are of limited importance to the community at large but important to the student population; however, it doesn't cover internationalevents effectively.By the time they're printed in Imprint, international events aye old news. Community editorials about international events are generally written by students who have little or no first-hand experience of the situation and who thus resort to reproducing the arguments of pro-Israeli and pro-Palestinian groups. Please return to what Imprint does well and leave international affairs to the daily newspapers. -name withheld on request
UW lacks objectivity
To the edztor, After Norman Finkelstem's talk that was orgamzed by Students for Palestman fights here at UW last term, ~t was stated and re~teratedmmanyways and forms that F~nkelstein'slecture reflected badly on UW. To me, the event &d Indeed reflect badly on UW -very badly, if I may add- butnotbecauseofFmkelstem, hlrnself, but rather because of the hecklers and ImpnnPs lack of objectivity as well as U W s (and WLU's) lack of support I attended Finkelstein's talk at the Umverslty of Western Ontario on September 25. I was amazed w t h how civhzed the audence (more than 700 people) was and with the fact that the lecture was co-sponsored bj two continued on page 9
The campus effect
Times to be had
How being on campus hlls the franchise experience, and how francluses kdl campus
Procrastination is essential to student life
&%enI am in line at the Tim Horton's in the Davis Center, I feelit.WhenIgo into Brubakers for Pizza Pizza, I feel it. I didn't switch my bank to CIBC because of it. And when I think about it, converting Ground Zero to a Tim Horton's or a Harvey's might have been the best way to stop it. W of these recognized franchises on campus were put there for many reasons - among the most important are money and convenience to students. But putting them on campus was an uphill battle from the very beginning, and the results are of concern. Pizza Pizza, for one, feels like a "movie concession stand" with its price/quantity combination (particularly with Campus Pizza close by), and while the location of CIBCin the SLC is convenient, the very first sight of "it" was enough to keep me at my old bank. Tim Horton's in theDC is quite the same - it's good if you're in a hurry (whlch actually allows it to keep close to one of the core ideals of Tim time e on Horton's), but if you h a ~ ~
your hands, you'll head offto\Villiams. "diluted" appearance.I say,if Ground Why does this happen? These are Zero were turnedintoTim Horton's, .. all-powerful national brand names, or Harvey's, or something, we positioned in our minds to mean wouldn't hare this problem to bcgin something, all at fingertips' reach on with. There would be one place, on campus, which delivered a complete campus.In theory,\ve should be flocking to them regularly. "end-to-end" expeBut mhen you frerience for its cusquent them, you tomers,withoutindon'tgetthetrue"exAn argument terruption, and perience" you'd get if we'd s t d have the could be made you visited a location convenience ofit all. off campus. thatthesimple Thismouldcarry I call it the "camover to the existing convenience of "kosks,, and make pus effect". These franchises have a "dihaving them more appeal- these luted" feel to them, ing. The question shops On camlike they are only a shell wouldnolonger be PUS outweighs "~houldI stay on ofthe trueexperience, mostly because they campus for worse are on campus. In the their "diluted" should,, oE case of therestaurants, appearance. campus for better?'; they are simply order it would be "Should kiosks instead of sitI go for the total down establishments. This might not experience or settle for thelesser expecome across asimportant; however,as rience?" The "campus effect" would soon as you order your food and sit virtually disappear. down, you are backinto the culture of Come to think of it, maybe that's theuniversity, withits own brand and why Ground Zero is still Ground culture,influencingthesatisfactionyou Zero. We can't have businesses runget from the food you just ordered. ning this school; we have our own (As marketers would say, eating out establishments tomakeprofits.Maybe isn't just eating anymore, it's a total we need those &luted alternatives to experience.) make us more appealing. In that case, I say, well done. An argument could be made that the simple convenience ofhaving these aoca~@irnprint.uwater~oo.ca shops on campus outweighs their
Garick Stevenson COMMUNITY EDITORIAL
It's Tuesday morning and you've just rolled out ofbed at the bright and early time of t\vo p.m. What is the first thing that happens to you when you renture out from your room into the common spaces of the domicile? If you happen to be me, you would immedately be cordiallyinrited to the green room for some BoT's brewed fresh for you by your roommate who is slightly more frazzled than you at this early hour and in dire need of Visine. Chaos ensues,hours melt away and before you know it you've been absently playing board games and GTA: Vice City for most of the week. It is night before you know it and with night comes ideas, some great, somegrand and some downright diabolical. Recently we have realized that our fifth bedroom or "greenroom"as we now use it forwillnot be occupied this term. So in the spirit of GTA: Vice City, we decided to capitalize on the situation, complete the missions and make it a viable moneymaker. Needless to say our options were many, though most of them were shot down in an early stage of brainstorming. My early contribution was one of these first casualties,and I still cannot understand the vehemence of my housemates againststartingaMeth lab in our basement. Maybeitis a little dangerous, but I justwatched a show on Discovery and I'm sure I could pull it off; though I am not sure what I
would actually do with it after I made it. The nvo ideas that really grabbed our attention the most were: 1) To rent the spare room out to Communist revolutionaries for cash and the hope ofbeingincluded in their scheme for utopia. 2) To use the room as a staging point to smuggle people in from foreign countries in ahanccwith some international crime syndicate. As of!-etwe still haxn'tgot around to implementing these plans but I am sure that any day now one ofuswdlget the ball rolling. You can always count on a grand plan working out if given enough time. So as of now we are continuing in our quest to beat Vice City and become the lords of Miami and to hone our innate skills for mayhem and destruction. I guess the point I am trying to make is to enjoy your time here at school and get to know the people you !be with. Take this time that you live together to enjoy these likerninded people nomatter how crazy your times are. Too often people in university are so caught up in achieving the perfect grade or how much money they have. I say fuck that, time is shortwhen you are young, so enjoyyourselves.These times don't last foreverand the memories (or lack there of) that you have of these times wiU have to do when you are 35, working full time and stdl25 years to retirement. There is plenty of time for school and fun so find a balance that works for you and just Giv'er.
I.urn f gust wanted fa hand rn th~spapar
continued from page 8
the money and get robbed of it five xeconds after emung the post office. departments and one undergraduate If Canada Post is going to take on associatmn Moreover, readng the the responslbih~of m o n e ~handler, UWO student newspaper, 73e Guthe; should at least keep some money zette, and comparing ~t to In@rzi~t'~ h c h n g around somewhere coverage, I couldn't help butn onder: Yhat's wrong with UX'?
53
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Urn $0
Postal madness
To the editor, If you should want to cash a money order at Canada Post today, do so at your own peril. I tried to cashapostalmoney order from my parents the other day, and was informed at the post office that they did not have enough money to cover the face value of the document. It was well under the limit of $999 CDN, yet they didn't h a ~ the ~ emoney. This wasn't your tinpot little Canada Post outlet either - t h s was the Waterloo main post office. After a phone call, they informed me thatif I went into Kitchener, the post office there would have the money to cash the money order. Kitchener. That's right folks, they wanted me to take another hour (which I did not have) to go to Kitchener just so I could pick up
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Letters should include the author's name, year, and program, or faculty position where applicable.
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f harsded in yaw econ paper lrke you wanted., umm...
All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The opinions expressed are strictly those of the authors, not the opinions of Imprint.
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B16 EARS BURNING The mission: getting from the Imprint office to the set of doors on the east side of the SLC (those facing the MC Building).Sounds easy, but there's an obstacle: the path home is filled with creeps and weirdos - and they all want to send me credit cards in the mail! I swear,a 22-year-old,250-pound guy like me isn't even safe in the SLC anymore. I hate cre&t card companies. They saddle fmancially-challengedstudents with yet another chance at massive debt.They fast-talkyou for 15seconds and then have you sign up for something you could be paying off for the rest ofyour life. Every once in a while you hear a horror story about someone who went belly-up from overcharging and it's usually a college student. Simply put, as cool as that little piece ofplastic may look, some people are just all wrong for a credit card. As one of those people, I want my SLC hallway back. I can only imagine how much they pay Fcds to operate here; it must be
insults us all. In their eyes, we are young and often foolish consumers with many expenditures we can't always be expected to make on time; to them, we must be pretty fresh meat. At least the other little venues that set up shopin the SLC are subtle. The little vendors sellingc l o t h g and jeuellery and, of course, the Imaginus poster people who revisit each year, are unassuming; they let their displays lure youin. By contrast, the credit card crew put a Colt to your head and a "token of their appreciation" down your throat. The crude,irritasingwaytheybeckon you as you pass by reminds me of the carnival (think of how truly painful that comparison must be for them). Then there's the slowdown. It's bad enough witnessing an important, high-level-traffic SLC mezzanine slowly turn into Kensington Market, but when it keeps me from getting home on time, it becomes personal. This past week that strip has been impossible for me to get through, mainly because of people stopping in tny path to fill out an application and enter the wonderful world of credit card debt (which, in turn, forces me to stand in place just long enough for yet another credit card company's pawn
to toss me his greasy pitch). I'm not a violent person, but I'm almost ready to strap two dictionaries to my shoulders and start doing my best Refrigerator Perq-impersonation. Then,onMonday, I foolishlymade eye contact as I passed (oops!). He asked me theinevitable lead-off question, "Excuse me, have you received a free gift yet, sir?" Ah yes, the Cree gift! The most winsome, cost-effective door prize their marketing division could come up with to bribe a &ngus like me with! Whatever could it be? A Master's degree? A French tickler? Some skin from the back of the necks of all the students who signedup with themlast year? Oh,it's a mousepad. A small, plastic one that couldn't possibly stay affixed to my desk top. The repo men can't touch this no matter what, right? Well, the joke was on him. I told h m I didn't need or want his business. I told him I was content to buy itwith cash or debit or not buy it at all. (Incidentally, our campus needs more ABM's, but that gripe can wait aweek or two.) And I told him that he's dsgusting and he should go to hell' Okay, I said none of that -I just walked off. But I got home on time that day. And, ifsilent actilmm counts for anythng, the mousepad is in the trash. So, what the hell - mission half-accomplished. '
Sounding off on the topic of drama queens
UNDEFEATED They blow everything out of proportion. They lie and cheat, they whine and complain- alot. Theyrarelylisten to anything that you say. They try to make you believe that their life is hard, or at least harder than yours. They tell you that they look ugly today, or that they feel fat, andwait for you to tell you that they are beautiful. Yes,ladies and gentlemen, I am talkmg about the ever-infamous "drama queen." To them, there is no question about it: in
life you are the audience and they are the star. People love drama, they really do. And to me, our attraction to the drama oflife is hardly amystery. Humans, by character, are curious creatures with extremely short attention spans. Therefore,it seems thatwe are always looking for something to keep us occupied,keep us busy, or at least keep us from going mind-numbingly bored. And so, over the course of hstory we have evolved from amoebae to chimps to drama queens because a bunch of bananas just can't seem to hold ourinterestmuchlonger. I believe that modern society has helped in bringing us to the drama queen evolutionarystageas well. Today we are taught that nothing is fast enough, nothing is powerful enough, you can never have enough money, and you can never have enough stuff.
1*1
National Defence
Today w e are taught that nothing is fast enough, nothing is powerful enough, you can never have enough money, and you can never have enough stuff. Also, television today is fded with characters that lead us to believe that only the really, really, absurdly annoyingly loud wheel gets the grease. With all that the media and modern society are tellingus, it's a wonder
that we aren't all drama queens! Drama queens are those people who freakout over a twenty-five cent increase for a subway ticket, or call a nation-wide emergency upon learning that their ex-girlfriend is dating again. long line-ups are rarelyaproblem for the drama queen, because they don't have the patience to standin one anyway. And an appology? Never. It can never be their fault. They are horrible when it comes to relationships as well. Playing games is a must for the drama queen, because to them there is nothing wrong with keepingapartner on their toes. Every little problem constitutes a discussion, every major mistake constitutes a breakup, and any combination of problems means that their life must be over. They are often a serial dater, the drama queen, always in search of that perfect partner.
Certainly drama queens frequent the queer world, but also the straight world as well. They can be male or female, gay, bi or straight, and can come in all shapes and colours. However, no matterwhat sort of a drama queen we are talking about, one thing is for sure, they are probably causing themselves (and everyoneelse around them) more stress than is needed. Realizingmyown tendencies to be a drama queen, I challenge my readers (at least temporarily) to rid their life of un-needed drama, and give themselves a break. If you find yourself in a situation in whch you can feel the drama queen in you beginning to surface, just tell yourself to "relax and take it easy kid." You'll be surprisedathow easy it really is.
Defense nationale
Opportunities Les possibilites font toute la make all the difference difference
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NEEDS YOUR HELP VOLUNTEER SYSTEMS ADMINISTRATION POSITION If you are proficient with PC environment ; at Unixl Linux, particularly Debian Linux ; proficient with common Unix software (apache, sendmakdhcpd, qmail, tinydns,ssh) ; good understanding of networking (IF?CIFS, DNS, DHCP) ; good understanding of Windows environment, particularly with desktop publishing software and the Windows Domain login system ; familiarity with Macintosh OSX and the flexibility to be on call .... the Systems Administration position awaits you. Responsibilities include software imaging, networking, diagnosing, maintainlupgrade Unix servers, troubleshooting various software problems as reported by end-users, account creation and maintenance and to maintain one MAC machine running OSX. Drop in to the Imprint Office, SLC room 1116, to discuss this great resume building opportunity.
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Above: A Rhode Island Red chicken looking snappy. Left: Tyson, Alicia, and Justin Walker holding their prize chicken, a Dark Brahma.
A fine dav for fancv feathered birds Erin L. Gilmer IMPRINT STAFF
One might think that a poultry show would be a strange place for a university student to spend her Saturday afternoon. Onthecontrary,I hadquite a nice time and learned a lot about chickens at this year's Colwyn Farms Fancy Poultry Show in Fergus. My companion and I arrived too late to see any of the judging, but we certainly enjoyed walking among the rows of unique and incredibly beautiful birds. The event showcased dozens of chickens of different breeds originating from many countries.
Most of the rare breeds of chckens that we saw are only produced for show. They're not really commercially viable birds, some not laying many eggs. Still, the breeds are being kept
alivebydedicatedhobbyistswhovalue the birds for their beauty and the satisfaction of raising - them. T h s is becoming increasingly important as farms grow in size and narrow down their chicken breeds. In fact, many breeds have already been lost. Although most of the fancy chcken breeds look remarkably clrfferent, they are believed to have descended from the red jungle fowlof south-east Asia, and were first domesticated for cock-
fighting, rather than for food. When I first saw the ornamental Polandwith a crest of feathers around its head, I thought it looked almost like a sea anemone, or maybe a Fraggle. The various huge, silky-feathered cochins from England, (originally China) looked pretty magnificent as well. Apparently, males can weigh up to 13pounds! Now that would make for a nice Sunday dinner. This year was the seventh for the Colwyn Farm show. The show is supported by about 50 financial sponsors, and 12hardworkingvolunteers. 'We're trying to put on a qualityshow. We'vegotlots ofgood chickens," said
Bruce Hawkins, one of the organizers. Hawkms was enthusiastic about this show trying to appeal to a more sophsticated crowd than most chicken shows, adding that they've tried to upgrade the dtcor and give away some quality prizes. It was indeed a u7ellorganized show. And it's not only old farmers who participate in chicken shows!Among thls year's prize-winners was young Tyson Walker.Walker came away from the show asJunior Champion for his young male Dark Brahma. The Brahma is a large bird originating from India. They are verydoc-
ile and kind in nature, making them perfect pets, and a common sight at poultry shows. Walker explained to me that he had been raising the young cockerel from achick sincelastSeptember, and thisis his first year showing his birds. He said that the shows are a lot of fun. Besides chickens,we encountered some great hospitality at the show, and met some very warm-hearted people. Also, we enjoyed some fabulous pumpkin pie! All in all, the world of fancy poultry is better than I expected.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER3,2003
Beer, the fifth food group Kourtney Short IMPRINTSTAFF
As Oktoberfest approaches, young minds turn to beer. What better place to enjoy a cold pint than here in Waterloo? Walk south on King Street in Waterloo and you'll enjoy the yeasty, malty smell of brewing beer, so reminiscent of baking bread- twice!Despite having a population of only 86,000 people, Waterloo is blessed with two breweries: the BrickBrewing Company and the Gold CrownBrewery. Expand the scope ofyour exploration and you'll discover the Algonquin Brewery in Formosa, the Old Mill Brewery in Elora and the Sleeman Brewery in Guelph, not to mentionToronto's AmsterdamBrewing Company (which makes a fabulous raspberry beer) and SteamWhistle Brewing. Beer basics
The two baslc types ofbeer-ales and lagers -both conslst of the same four ingredients: water, hops, yeast and malt. The different types of beer are produced by varyng the type of yeast and hops, the darkness of the malt and the duration and temperature of fermenta~on. Ales, such as Adly's Ale and Brick Amber Dry, are fermented at 16 deg e e s celclus for around two weeks. By ccsntrast, lagxs, such BS L ~ u nLlghr Lager and Bnck Premlum Lager, are fermented at a lower temperature for alonger period of ume -they spend up to SIX weeks at only four to 10 degrees celc~us. Malt is produced by fermenting barley to turn the starch into sugar (mmm. . .sweet, sweet beer), then drying it, cmshmg ~t and Qssolving the sugars in water. The drylng step determnes the colour of the resultant beer: drylng the fermented barley at a higher temperature for a longer m e ylelds a dark beer, like Waterloo Dark.
Brick Brewery at 181 King St. in U p t w i n Waterloo has been serving Kitchener-Waterloo for almost 20 years. Save water
- drink beer!
"The Brick Brewery is famous (at least among students) forits brewery tours. For around $6 per person,plus tip, when you gather a group of 25 to 30 people, you can check out their facilities, learn a bit about the brewing process and, most importantly, Sample a few of their beers on-tap or in bottles. One piece of advice: avoid the hot nuts (except as a photo opportunity) and order some pizza. It'll be just like watching TV in your living room only with better beer.
DAVE MANSELL
Whde the bold Crown brewelp doesn't offer tours, you can sull sample tlmr full selecuon nent door at the H u e t k r Hotel. For $3.25, you can order a mug of one type of beer, or a tray of four mims. Ifyoudecide to brmg some home, be aware that a qurk of Ontario law forces the brewery to call lts beers by dfferent names at the brewery store and at the Huether Hotel. The brewery's fr~endlystaff wdl direct you to your favounte.
Stills in the Brick Brewery.
Stories f rorn the street Tim Alamenciak 8 Jess Voll IMPRINT STAFF 8 SPECIALTO IMPRINT
Walhng down the streets of downtown IQtchener,wc were struck by ns transformauon. The sides of b d d lngs were clean and the sidewalks were re-done bdltantwhte, swept cleanof most garbage. Contrasung the clean sidewalk are the &rty ones, the soclal outcasts who repeat their shameful mantra to passers-by: "Have you got any spare change?" And you reply with sdence, afraid thep might be contagious To you they are faceless, useless, irresponsible bodes clothed 1n rags But inslde the tattered and torn cxtenor are feehngs, memorles and stones. As chddren they sullplayedwth toys, finger pamtedand fellasleep each mght wth the thought that theywould be warm and safe forever wrapped ~n thelr blankets. Just as thelr blankets
became tattered with m e , so dld theuhves.Adolescencewould b m g a slow deterloratton of splr~twhch would begm the cycle of f i l e for the rest of thelr hves. T h s process would become a template for David Strauss*. He first felt h s grasp on the clean hfe shp away from him when he experienced the fl bhss that only drugs vlde. At the vulnerableage of 15, an addcuon to drugs qulckly affirmed itself in hls ~mpresslonable mmd By 18lt controlled all aspects of h s life Dnfung from one mlndless job to another, his hfe caved ~non h m after elght years, when he became homeless "Once you live on the street and keep expenencing fadure, you lose someh n g , " he sald.
Although Strauss was not an idle party ln the downward mouoa of h s hfe, he was unable to stray from the pattern of shortived employment and drug use. Staymgm sheltersonly worsened h s condmon. The shelters housed not only the homeless, but also repeated &scusslons of drug use om addcts, whch served to strengthen Strauss's addlcuon The hostels were not the safeha-cen they appeared to be, though man) would assume that amwhere 1s safer than sleeplng on thc street Inslde the walls of the hostels, theft left unpunished was a dally occurrence Thenghttokeeppossesslons was as meaningless as the right to be treated as a person.
When asked lf he could recall a saw only failure. "Even though you point ~n hls hfe when anyone had live on the street," Strauss said, "you still see people below you, people who helped hm,he sad, "Sure. The church gave me new workboots when my steal, people who have no respect." Strauss became hopeful when he others were stolen." Although Strauss learned of three different hostels in had recelved tramng to address h s Hamilton, meaning he could be shelspecificproblems, the real tramng he tered and fed for six weeks at a time. requ~redwasg~~~danceonhowtomanHis future goal consists solelyof fmdage h s hfe T o Strauss, 1t seemed the City of ing employment in Hamilton, where fitchener was determined to make he has visions of starting a new life, a hls attempts at nslng up the social good life, one in which he could beat ladder impossible The scheduhng of his addtctions, be clothed and fed, and city buses led him to quit hls job, as fall into the simple routine we all take for granted. workmg the nlght sh~ftmeant he When asked what would make would have to take the cab at least one him truly happy, Strauss replied: way whch would dram much needed funds. The hmltauons on the dura- "What would make me happy? T o uon of h s stay at a hostel meant he have a friend." would only have a roof over h s head and a warm meal In h s stomach for two weeks at a ume. Strauss' removal * Name changed to protect anofrom the m n d s of the pubhc caused h m to retreat mto hlmself, where he nymity
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FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3,2003
The lady doth protest too much, methinks
Female rejection. It hurts. It's an ego crusher. It's inevitable. I don't care if you're Johnny Depp from Don-Freaking-Juan DeMarco, you udl be rejected by a girl at least once. More emotionally fragde guys @ussies) dwell on it for days and nights questioning her judgment. The really arrogant figure thinks: Hey, it's her loss. I'm sure girls also get rejected but we'll focus on guys for now.
The article "Adventures in Costa Rica" in the September 19 issue contained the following incorrect information about the Durika community: The Durikans do not produce commercial crops but instead live selfsufficiently by growing their own organic crops. As well, they have used money made from eco-tourism groups to purchase and protect existing rainforest and have created the Durika biological reserve which will be left to the government of Costa Rica after the community has dissapeared. The group of students mentioned in the article travelled over, but did not climb the Mountain of Death. They did climb up to the continental divide from Durika on an overnight backpackingtrek.
The thoughts of irritation and anger stem from the hours of macking time you have devoted to the cause. Like if you go out with her and her friends, cool, that's step one. You see her everydayand the conversations are meaningful. Hell, you chat about her cat Mildred even though you think cats arelazywastes of cellular space. You even spend some genuine alone time with her at romantic locales and carryon with the mackingprocess. And thenit happens, "Herambone, I think our friendship is really developing." Say what, mutha fucka? Right, so the clichtd friendship angle is the cleanestmay to terminate the mack. The girl knows this. She's an old pro at rejectingguys. Now, I've experienced all colours of the spectrum. There's the silent
treatment (i.e., she doesn't return any and tellingyou straight up, "your face phone calls). Then there's the quickly- gives me an allergicreaction." find-a-new-boyfriend-who-plays-on- The most puzzling situation hapthe-football-team tactic. That's self- penswhenachickrejects you for aless attractive male. Sure, his inner beauty explanatory.And then there's my personal favourite, the girls without tact. might be glorious, but visually he's more like a Quasitnodo. Why couldn't "So Claudette, can I see you next she at least sleep with you once and week?" then reject you? So you'd have the "Um, I'm really busy." satisfaction of a slightly mollified re'You're in quarantine!" Sometimes it's perversely enjoy- jection. At least your ego wouldn't be able to get repeatedlyrejected by agirl. so bruised. "Oh yeah, she's all yours You keep on her like a tumor hoping nerd boy!" It's such a psychologicalgame,this she'd change her mind. Yeah I know that's irritating for a girl, but it can be matingprocess. If agirlisn'tinterested rather amusing from our perspective. in you, there should be light bulbs on Then youpass the acceptable rejec- her nipples that flash red. And she tion limit and still go for broke. How should be topless just to ensure clear many originalexcuses can she come up illumination. with to avoid going out with your The absolutegreatestscenario haptired ass before ultimately crumbling pens when a girl that rejected you
some years backallof a sudden shows up and wants you. A role reversal ensueswhere the alpha male gets to be the ballbuster. So this buddy of mine's ex-flame, who ditched him for a hulkierindividual,comes back to town and calls him: "Hey Pedro, it's me Poonani. It's been awhile but I genuinelybelievewe had an emotional connection." He took her to a fancy restaurant. They had appetizers, a main course and just before dessert he excused himself to the washroom. He kept a running total of the bill in his head, slipped the waiter $100, and left. He told me itwas therapeutic. And then he picked up two Filipino hookers. You know, for more therapy.
Exhibit success for UWAG
Jenna Holko
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
COURTESY UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO ART GALLERY
Above and below: works from "The World May Be Post-DatedrUfeaturedat the UWArt Gallery until / October 9.
It's the Garden of Eden meetsJurassic Park, FridameetsJoan Crawford, flowered wall paper meets stainless steel. Whatever your interest or your art medium of choice, "The World May Be Post-Dated" has it -and more. This exhibit creatively brings together nvo modern artists who hail from opposite ends of the world: Jennifer Macklem from Kelowa, B.C. and Luke Roberts from Brisbane, Australia. T h e curator, Ihor Holubizky, describes the combinationofthese artists'workas "keep[ing] time in apolyrhythmic way, engaging a cultural inquiry that is essential and particular." Upon entering the gallery, the fwst thing I encountered was a ceiling-high aluminum image created by Macklem onlocation.Herworkcanbe characterized by the distinct use of steel and other metals, evenin the smallestproportions, that create a sense of coherence throughout her collection.There is theimpression that she does not let the walls of the room confine her, and this idea of altering traditional lirnitations is also evident in her use of words and language. One is struck by the effect of the shadowscast by her three-dimensional "Cascade" or the word "hover" that does just that- suspendedabove the gallery walls. There is a physical element to Macklem's work that is very engaging; it invites viewers to look at things
from various angles, to step back, move closer or look up at her creations. Roberts also plays with common limitations by not restricting himself to any particular artistic technique, subject matter or medium. With a combination of acqlic, watercolour and photographic work, his diverse collection is rounded off by a selfmade video, adding an eerie auditon aspect to the exhibit. Through his photoessay titled "1+ 118'' he plays with various cultural mythologies: a serene Frida leans against a solemn Christ, John and Yoko mimic Adam and Eve and the outlaw Ned Kelly poses as Picasso. It is not surprising that Roberts has invented an "altered ego," Pope Alice, through whom he has created some of his artwork, adding to thegeneral sense ofhis eccentriclty.
Oh, and we can't forget about Mr. Squiggle: the pencil-nosed character from an Australian television show who grins placidly from a set ofwatercolours.Is he just achddhood memory or a haunting image from Roberts' dreams? Combined, these two collections create a menagerie of visual displays from which anyone can find a piece that will capture their attention. T h s thought provohng exhlbit challenges spectatorsto hndconnectingelements, and to rethink historical, cultural and social conventions. "The World May Be Post-Dated" is running until October 9 at the University of Waterloo Art Gallery.
Enter Sandman Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF
Endless Nights: the new chapter in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman,
Recently The Sandman:Endless Nights was released, marking the tenth anniversary of Neil Gaiman's 2000-page epic comic. The original, having ended in a confusing manner, left many fans hungry for more of the story. Prior to this book, brief spin-offs were released to further tickle the itch for more Sandman. The Sandman has received many awards, including the World Fantasy Award and the Will Eisner Comic Industry Award. Itwas the frrst comic book ever to receive the World Fantasy Award. The 80-issue epic follows seven beings: Destiny, Death, Desire, Despair,Dream, Delirium, and Destruction. The stories primarily revolve around Dream and his desire to understand humanity's machinations. He encounters and tests many human concepts such as love, lust, fatherhood, and brotherhood. None of
these test well with him initially, but each causes him to grow. Primarilypenned by Dave McKean, the art portrays clearly defined gothic themes and provides a window into the true hearts of the characters.Their facial features are animatedly &awn and their wardrobes well thoughtout. The latest addendum to TheSandman comes in the form of seven short stories, each one a portrait of one of the Endless. The book features seven artists who have had either minor or no involvement in the previous Sandman issues. Each frame is skillfully drawn in thegothic style that the seriesis sowell known for. Although the characters look different than they usually did in the previous Issues, the themes are still continued in their appearances and clothes. Gaiman's writing gives a dimension ofvast depth to thecharacters and story. Each word spoken or thought heard is enveloped in deeper meanings and true human experience. The style of these storiesis consist-
entwithany ofGaiman'sworks. These are stories that would be fit to pass down through a family. They are rich in character details and fullofthe usual literary devices used in traditional academic writing. Although the bookis a symphony of storywhen read by an avid Sandman fan, it would only confuse the fledgling reader. Theintricacies of the Endless family are more properly understood through a dedicated reading of all 80 Sandman issues, as, for example, Gaiman uses characters such as the young Orpheus andBarnabas the dog, who are not properly introduced until theSantEmanseries isinits finalissues. As a Sandman fan, I have nothing bad to say about this book. It lives up to the original series in every aspect, andis awelcome delight after ten years without new stories. However, I would not recommend this for the new reader; instead I suggest startingwith the firstissuesinthe series, Preludes and Nocturnes.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3,2003
Erin L. Gilmer
from Ritual de lo Habitual, and "Jane Says" from Nothing's Shocking. The crowdwas right up and out of Last Friday I went on an excursion to their theatre seating for these songs, Toronto to see one of my favourite singinialonganddan~in~while singer cracked o u t rock ~ e r ~qa r r e lbroke l bands. out themaracas and Farrell is the drummer Stephen I've been waiting to see Jane's AddicPerkins was allover most interesting. the steel drums. tion ever since I heard thenews thattheygot sensual singer/ Jane's also did fanback together. Jane's tastic acoustic verbroke UD during" the performer that sions of "lust Befirst round of I've been ~ r i v i - cause," and "EveLollapalooza, and I rybody's Friend" leged to watch can't tell you howdisfrom their new alIMPRINT STAFF
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this year's reinstated It's always nice Weiland with tohearabanddoLollapalooza with an Sf one Tern pie ing somethingalitintactJane's Adhction did not stop in tle different with Canada. I guess it just Pilots. one of their good, made this Toronto mainstream songs stopover that much like ':lust Because." more unreal. You can always put on the CD or The show started with a couple the radio ifyouwant to hear the regular minutes of guitarist Dave Navarro version, but an acoustic version is a and bassist Chris Chaney showing little different, andone of those things that makes going to the live show their stuff. Itwas anincredible start to the show. worthwhile. Jane's played a lot of their classic, Farrellis themostinteresting, sencrowd-pleasing songs, including sual singer/performer that I've been "Been Caught Steeling," "Stop," both privileged to watch since I saw Scott
Weiland with Stone Temple Pilots. The way Perrygyratedand moved his booty on stage was incredible. Anyone who's seen Jane's live knows what I'm talking about. This is a high energyband with not only alot oftechnical talent, but agreat deal of personality as well. Before Farrell even came out on stage, though, I was Perry Farrell: everybody's favourite cracked& completelycaptivated by guitarist. Being on his side of the stage, I couldn't help but notice how guy is bound to die oflung cancer one ripped this guy is, and damn what a day soon. Itwas great to seeJane's Addiction nice ass! But of course, Navarro's playing live, though, especially at a relatively small venue like Massey Hall. I had style was the best part, unmistakable, floor seating, so the view was great, with so much personality. Since I am a Chili Pepper fan before I am aJane7s except foragiantpfiarthatTickemaster forgot to inform us of. fan, I could even hear faintwhispers of Attendees tended to be an older the Chili's 1995 album, One Hot crowd than most mainstream rock iWnzrte, in Navarro's playing. shows, probably a lot of fans from Navarro didn't leave out his charbefore the breakup. acteristic chain-smolung, either. He There were two sour points. The must have started anew cigarette every first was the outrageous ticket price of other song. Enjoy that bad cowboy about $70 for our floor seating. For a and his ass now, ladies, because this
show with one unknown opening band (I am a Robot), many concert-goers might question the value of their ticket, especially since Jane's set was only an hour and a half long. The second sour pointwas the lack of visual ef-..--- fects. There was rock singer. no backdrop, besides the curtains and some coloured lights. Even the band members'clothing was somewhatconservativecompared to what I expected. But I say speclal effects, smeshal eff~cts.\X/loneeds themwhen there's such quality ass and Perry's splendid display of dancing around to keep my eyes occupied? And $70 was a price I was willing to pay after waiting for years to see this classic band play live. If they don't stick together, Toronto just may have been my last chance to see them.
MacLeod keeps the Bomber spellbound Garick Stevenson SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
A rainy Friday evening ushered in a wonderful night of song at our beloved Bombshelter. The crowd was intimate, which was not a bad thing in this age of big box shows; playing for thousands in an arena near you. Instead, the Bombshelter provided a fitting venue for what would prove to be a captivatingperformance. One ofthe wonderful elements of the Bombshelter is that it allows the more adventurous in the crowd the chance to interact with the artist (of
quests from an inebriated auchence) and "Ghost," both of 'which are from that were interesting h s independent alfor their somewhat bum Close and P l y random choice. The available from MaMacLeod had a co7ersin his inple Music. "Giant" is a song that finds its roots in '50s and Porno for Pyros. ballads that Buddy Holly classics They were all well with a foot tapping showcasednot doneanddidnottake beat and a smooth awaythethunderof melody that will stay 0nlyhisskillaSa the showcased origiwith you for hours. wordsmith. but nal material. Macleod also had Llstemng to Paul a few amazing &s- also his wonderMacLeod was an exsonant ballads that cellentwaytospmda showcased not only fu' knowledge of his skill as a chord structure ~ndaynight.~would like to encourage all wordsmith, but also and composiwho are looking for his wonderful an original sound to tion. knowledge of chord check him out. His structure and comCD's are available at position. MacLeod rounded out his set with www.maplemusic.com.MacLeodalso plays almost every Monday night at a few covers (though he ignored the constant barrage of White Snake re- Jimmy Jazz in Guelph.
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whichItookfuUadvantage)and1earn
Paul MacLeod and his modified '66 Fender Telecaster
a bit more about them. Paul MacLeod, who makes his home in Iatchener, took the stage around 11 pm and proceeded to dazzle the audience with his often quirky lyrics and technically enlightened guitar play. He played an assortment of
ori$almaterialthatwasrefreshingin its originality and delivery. MacLeod played his set solo on his modified '66 FenderTelecaster.The use of the electric guitar added a fullness of sound
that is often not found in the singer songwritergenre,which seems enamoured with the acoustic guitar. AfewhighlightsofMacLeod's set included original tracks like "Giant"
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FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3,2003
Pop-rockin' and goth-punkin' 'ONE OF THE MOST COMPELLING AMERICAN FILMS I'VE
SEEN IN AGES!'
- Frank Rlch. MI NM YORH TIMIS
Mew Frengers: Not Quite Friends But Not Quite Strangers Sonv
Hey all you audtophilesout there, here is your chance to hear a new album that delivers. Frengers is the major label debut of the Danish band Mew. The band formedwhen the four members were working on a film project in school about the destruction of nature. Mew has also put out two independent CDs in their native Denmark previous to the debut of Frengers on the Sony label. The first single on the FrengersLP, "Am I Wry?No" is a fabulous piece of music. The song is a rich tapestry of sound and ethereal vocals that pierce the heart and mind with their sonic surges and ebbs, taking the listener on a fantastic pop journey into the unknown. Other tracks on the album like "Comforting Sounds" and "Symmetry" are beautifully crafted pieces of pop thatdentrance listeners in states of aural bliss. Mew fits into a category of music with other contemporaries like Royksopp, Elbow, Doves and The Cardigans. What stands Mew apart from most of these bands is the style in which they were recorded. Mew borrows that fantastic Scandinavian sound that has been found on records by The Cardigans, The Hives and evenbands like Ace of Bass and ABBA. The Scandinavian sound tends to be clean and full, with aching highs and a harmony that carries in both channels of stereo in a unique way. If you are in the mood for some
great chill music, then I very highly recommend that you go out and buy h s CDnow,itwillkickyourass.I g v e Frengers a rating of 9/10, This is because Mew is a fairly new band and there is always room for improvement. Garick Stevenson, special to Imprint
AFI Sing the Sorrow Dreamworks
Youwant to see something cool? G o to an AFI (also knows as A Fire Inside) show and watch what happens when theyp1ay"XLiseria Cantare," the first song from their sixth album Sing t h Sorrow (2003). You'll see hundreds of goths, punks, metal-heads and dorky college students (like myself) all pounding their fists in the air and chanting along atthe top oftheirlungs, completely in unison. "Love your hate, your faith lost. You are now one of us." Crazy. Butwhileit's their shows that turn people into AFI fans, it's their CDs that keep people coming back. The band prides themselves on creating music that, as singer Davey
Havokputs it, "doesn't really fit anywhere." But the raw passion that they put into all of their songs, includingall12 tracks on Sing the Sorrow, makes it impossible not to listen and love. Havok's unmistakablevoice winds around AFI's trademark mix of punk and goth sensibilities, creating a mix of hard, fast rock and huge, expertly delivered melodrama. Soulfullyrics giveway to blistering guitar solos, then reappear only to dissolveinto furious screams. There's even a random techno beat somewhere on "Death of Seasons." It's a little out of the blue, but the effect is really cool. And that's really the key to the greatness of AFI - they can be so many things that they can appeal to all kinds ofpeoplewithall kinds ofmusical tastes.An AFI concert is the only place I've evpr'seen someone wearing full vampire make-up and an Alexisonfire T-shirt. If you haven't already, I recommend getting yourself some AFI exposure-no matterwho you are, you won't be disappointed.
MR. BLACK: ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES
Ian Blechschmidt, lmprint staff
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The death of a spaceship: Galileo meets Jupiter Graeme Stemp SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
Take a minute to think back to what youurere doing 14years ago. Ifyou are even close to my age, you likely still thought that the opposite sex had coo ti^ andthatNinjaTurtleswere the coolest thing ever. A lot has changed since then, and just like how you've forgotten about the opposite sex's germ problem, another ending has occurred: the end of the Galileo space mission to Jupiter. The Galilee spacecraftwaslaunched in 1989 from Cape Canaveral in the belly of a space shuttle. It reached Jupiter in 1995 after flying by Earth andVenus several times to gain some added momentum. The spacecraft weighed about 339 kg, and cost about $1.39 billion from initial planning to its completion. Along the way, it flew by two asteroids (Gaspra and Ida), becoming one of the first spacecrafts to get up close and personal with an asteroid. Thanks to these flybys, scientists discovered that Idawas being orbited by a small moon, a first for our solar system. Before Galileo even reached Jupiter, it was called upon to image the planet in 1994 when Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 smashed into Jupiter. The impacts of the comet could be seen by telescopes large and small all around the world and was the first time astronomers had ever witnessed an actual planetary collision. Finally, Galileo reachedJupiter and started to study its main target. Thanks to Galileo we were able to observe ammonia clouds on Jupiter (the first time they had ever been observed in another planet's atmosphere) and lightning storms thousands of times more powerful than anythmgon Earth.
COURTESY OF NASA
The asteroid 243 Ida, as seen by Gaiileo from 10,500 km away. The sequence of photos used to create this image was the same from ,. which Ida's moon was originally discovered. X small probe was also sent into Jupiter's cloudlapers,anditwas able to find many elements which would suggest that Jupiter and the sun had a very similar evolution. Moreimportantwere Galilee's rendezvous' with Jupiter's four major moons: Ganymede, 10, Callisto, and Europa. Galileo sent back information showing major cratering on the surface of Callisto, a magnetic field surrounding Ganymede (the first moon discovered to contain one), massive amounts of volcanic activity
Below Europa's icy surface, water may hold organic life.
on 10, and an ocean of ice and salt water below Europa's surface. This last discovery on Europais especially exciting because there may be life whereverwateris discovered. NASA is beginning to plan future missions searching for extraterrestriallife. Galileo was also a marvel of engineering feats. The mission, which officially ended six pears ago, was extended three times. The spacecraft, suffering more than four times the planned radiation, continued to have power thanks to two resilient radio-
isotope thermoelectricgenerators on board the spacecraft.It made 34 flybys of Jupiter and its moons, and it had traveled 4,631,778,000km. The mission, which was controlled by theJet Propulsion Laboratories in California, ended Sunday, September21 at 11:57arnPacificDaylightTime when Galileo entered Jupiter's atmosphere. The endingwas decided upon becauseengineers fearedwithextremely low fuel levels they might not be able to control the satellite. And with the possibility of a life-bearing ocean on
Europa, JPL felt it better to end the mission than risk contamination. The Solar system scientistsandastronomers are extremely indebted to Galileo's 14 years of scientific discovery, but now it is time for another mission to go to the Jovian system and make new &scoveries. Perhaps the secret to extraterrestrial life is hiding in an ice flow on Europa. More information about Galileo, its demise, and the Jet Propulsion Laboratories can be found by going to http://galileo.jpl.nasa.gov.
Galileo space probe gets up-close and personal with Earth.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3,2003
More danger to orangutans
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HIS blDIRIT JJITIIESON An evening to support the launch of an Aboriginal youth education fund In memory of
Featuring:
RIE
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
A logging lamenation
Habitat destruction by illegal loggers could mean the extinction of orangutans within ten to 20 years, accordmg to a Harvard researcher. Orangutans live only in Indonesia and Malaysia. The Indonesian government insists it has a commitment to protect them and does send in nationalpolice periodically.However, the loggers return when the police leave. The apes are almost totally arboreal; they live in the trees, travel through the trees, and eat fruit from the trees. Their survival depends on the trees. So, when several hundred trees had to be removed by loggers in one researcher's study area, she lameted greatly. 'We really do have a crisis here .. . we could wake up in 20 years and [the orangutans] would be extinct." She watched as loggers felled trees with chaidsaws, dragging the logs to a nearby river and then floating them to market. Inseminating dolphins
K'ho would have thought that artificialinsemination techniques developed for humans would be useful for dolphin reproduction? Well, on September 8"'at SeaK'orld in San Antonio, the first artificially inseminated Pacific white-sided dolphin gave birth. The calf weighed a healthy 30 pounds andmas 3 feet long. Itwas the ninth baby of this species born in captirityin North America. "Monitoring of mother and baby will continue 24 hours a day," said Dave Force,vice president of animal training and education at SeaWorld. "The informationwe gather on bonding and nursing is important to continuallyimprove the body ofinformation we've already gathered on Pacific white-sided dolphins."
,a
BUFFY SAINTE-
Julie Diener
*
MOLLY JOHNSON With Guests:
A Cappella Singers The Old Mush Sing
Orangutans may be extinct in ten to 20 years. Watch out, girls!
Guys who believe that gettingagirl tipsy willimprove their chances, now have science to back them up. Even low doses of alcohol can quickly increase concentrations of the sex hormone testosterone in the blood. But while men may benefit from the effects of alcohol on women, a constant flow of alcohol cangradually wreck a woman's reproductive cycle, not to mention destroy herlooks. She might notice her skin starting to look old, her waist-to-hip ratio increasing, and her body sprouting more hair. Some women may also develop a deeper voice and more aggressive behaviour. Coffee beans which are "quite normal"
Researchers at the NaraInstitute of ScienceandTechnology inJapan have created low-caffeine plants that they claim could produce cheaper and fuller-flavoured coffee. Demand for decaffeinatedcoffee is growing globally because of the possible adverse health effects of caffeinatedcoffee,saysone news source. "Caffeine can trigger palpitations and increase blood pressure in sensitive individuals." Hiroshi Sano of the research team agrees. "Itwdl be ofpracticalgood for some people."The other key advantage is that the new coffee would be cheaper while retaining all
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the taste of regular coffee, since expensive processes used in extracting caffeine from normal beans can strip it of a lot of flavour. The team has managed to genetically modify coffee plants by silencing the gene that produces caffeine. There are currentlytwo techniques being used to do this. RNA interference, says Sano, is the most efficient method. Messenger RNAs, which mirror the DNA, are molecules which act as a blueprint for buildmgprotein. The gene is blocked by having RNA bind to the DNA so that the DNA can't be used to make protein. The marvel of the eye
Scientists have now dscovered that rods and cones are not the only lightsensing cells in the eye. Another type of specialized light cell has been discovered which keeps track of how much light has entered the eye in a day, affectingthe circadan clock in the brain. This works to s p chronize the body'sinternalclocliwith the cycle of light and dark. The effect of the cells is also to go\.ern pupil size and melatonin release. They may even play a role in the modulation of mood. Evolution-will we ever find more clues?
In Darwin's time, fossil links did not exist between the outburst of life at the base of the Cambrian period and the list that came before. What does today's advanced research suggest? Biochemist D. B. Gower comments, as related in England's KentishTimes: "In the oldest rocks we d ~ d not find a series of fossils covering the gradual changes from the most primitive creatures to developed forms, but rather in the oldest rocks, developed species suddenly appeared. Between every species there was a complete absence ofintermediate fossils." Zoologist Harold Coffin concludes: "Ancestors of the full-blown living creatures of the Cambrian have still not been found, and scientists admit there is little prospect of their ever being found."
Spawning salmon may endanger lakes and rivers Arlen Panchoo SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
Recently,the scientificeye of concern has focused on some ofhlaska's most remote lakes.Thousands ofindividuals are relentlessly polluting certain lakes every year with industrial PCBs (polychlorinated biphenyls) and nobody knows what to do. The nature of the perpetrators renders them impervious to new laws or increased survedlance of the areas. The damage is currently modest, but anxieties are growing in Canada and the U.S. Contrary to what you may be thinking, the felons are not human, nor is the pollution deliberate. Surprisingly, the culprit is the Sockeye salmon. Sockeyes, like other salmon, lay their eggs in freshwater lakes and streams.When young salmon (known as "fry") hatch, they travel thousands of miles out to the Pacific Ocean where they live the majority of their lives, accumulatingPCBs over their periods of time. After four or five years, the salmon make the perilous journey of swimming upstream, through shallow water, past predators and even up waterfalls, to return to the very lakes where they were hatched. Though many die along the way, thousands reach their destination and spawn. After spawning, salmon die. Their bodies decompose, releasing PCBs
into the lake. In fact, such a great number of salmon die in this manner that the PCB levels from their decomposing bodes recently measured in some Alaskan lake sedimenthas been found at seven times the normal concentration. The individualsalmon themselves do not contain enough PCBs to be hazardous if eaten, nor is the pollution great enough to warrant a cleanup effort, but the trendis one that has alerted many scientists. Researcher and professorJulesBlais of the University of Ottawaacknowedges that the effects of the pollution are presently unknown. PCBs have the potential to weaken disease resistance to wildlife in the area, affect prenatal development and hinder reproductive success, but no clear consequences have been found as yet. "Maybe the message here is that when we release these chemicals into the environment, alot of unexpected things can happen," says Blais. Although the salmon situation may be arelativelynewoccurrence,the PCB problem is one that scientists have been dealingwith for quite some time. Blais points out that PCBs concentrate in food chains. Killerwhales near British Columbia have accumulated distressing levels ofPCBs from eatingcontaminated salmon and seals. However, not everyone is totally convinced of this explanation. Kirstin
Ryan, director of enTiionrnenta1health at the Alaska Department of Environmental Conservation, claims that more research is needed to prove this fish phenomenon. She states that atmospheric transport of chemicals is generally blamed for most PCB pollution in Arctic areas. Blais, however, is convinced of the salmon explanation. He and his colleagues have compared lake sedment from eight Alaskan lakes (Frazer, IQrluk, Red, Olga, ~~iridon,Becharof, Ugashik and Iliamna) and found a direct correlation: the more salmon spawned in a lake, the greater the amount of PCBs in the sediment, and the faster the PCBs accumulated. Blais is concerned that this problem has widespread potential, since lakes that salmon spawn in can be found in Alaska, British Columbia and even Russia. "Sockeye populations extend all the way to Asia," says Blais. When you think of salmon, perhaps Tom Green's "Salmon Song" comes to mind and you envision "tiny salmon facingthat impossibledream" of combating all odds to swim up stream and spawn, only to die shortly after. Hearing news like this makes you wonder if maybe, just maybe, spreadingPCBs is the salmon's way of flipping mother nature the bird, for a life of peril and hard work. ' Lesson learned, salmon. Lesson learned.
Thousands of salmon are inadvertantly carrying PCBs from the Pacific Ocean into lakes and rivers each year.
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Rookie Waterloo starting pitcher John McNabb steps into his next pitch while his fielder watches on during this past Monday's game one against the Brock Badgers.
Twist of fate: Waterloo cheers for Laurier Rod McLachlan IMPRINT STAFF
This past Wednesday the Warrior men's baseball team and all their fans were cheeringforlaurier. That's right, the despised Laurier Golden Hawks who reside on the other side of those train tracks that separateWaterloo from those other guys down the street. Thankfully such an event happens only once in ageneration in this town. In one of the most ridiculously complicated endings to a sports season ever in the OUA, four teams this past Wednesday were tied with 16 points. It seems that only someone with a crystal ball or maybe a team of NASA scientists could figure out if Waterloo will or will not be in this year's OUA men's baseball playoffs. Here's why. Brockis solidlyin first placewith30 points, and McMaster has the second place spotwrapped up as well, with 20 points as of Wednesday night. Only the top four teams advance to the
postseason in the one division OUA. From there it gets messy. Western, Waterloo, Toronto, and Guelph are the four teams tiedwith 16points and are each hoping to gain one of those last two playoff spots. This is where it really gets tricky. As of this past Wednesday at press time all of the teams in the OUA had finished their regular season games exceptfor McMaster andLaurier.These two clubs were supposed to play each other in a doubleheader atJackcouch Park this past Wednesday, but due to the heavy rain drowning the field the games were certainlypostponed. The date for the rescheduledgames is anyone's guess, but thegames wdl have to take place before the playoffs which were scheduled to start tomorrow. M of this confusion and closeness in the standings means one thng- the Waterloo men's baseball teamis cheering for L.aurier. For Waterloo to make theplayoffs, Laurier needs to win both games of the doubleheader against McMaster. WLU would then become
the fifth team in the tie for the last two playoff spots. If this is the outcome, Waterloo will be in the playoffs. If Laurier loses one or both of thegames against McMaster,Waterloo is denied entry to the post-season. Predictably, early on Wednesday night UW head coach Brian Bishop said he was planning to head over to Jackcouch Park in IGtchener to catch thegame. However, onlpa short time later the aforementioned rain descended on the region resultingin alikely rescheduling. Here is how Waterloo got in this predicament. This past Monday night Waterloo took on the first place Brock Badgers in IGtchener. Ingame one of the doubleheader, right-handerJohn McNabb took the mound for the Warriors. The rookie surrendered six runs on nine hits and subsequently was pulled from thegame in the fourth inning. Yet this could be expected against such apotent offence because Brock at this point had only lost one game all season.Dave Corneliuscame in relief for McNabb and held the
Badgers to just one hit in the remaining three innings. During the first game of the doubleheader, Waterloo looked uninterested and w a n g to lie down for the best team in the league. The Warriors could muster little offence with just three hits. This translated into only one lone run in the 71 loss. The Warriors were unlucky with the long ball during games, as more than one deep drive by the Warriors was snagged by Brock fielders on the warning track. In game two against Brock t h s past Monday, the Warriors registered their biggest and most importantvictoryofthe season. Inacompleteupset the Warriors shut out Brock to win the contest 2-0. Warrior Brennan Hagey put on aclinic by allowingjust two hits and no runs in seveninnings ofwork. Stefan Strecker tooktheloss forBrock on the mound despite registering 11 strikeouts against Waterloo. In game two, centerfielder Jeff hlurdoch led the Warriors offensivelygoingtwo for two with one RBI. Also, addmg two
hits each for Waterloo was shortstop Dan Lehmkohl and Scott Schmidt. "That was a big game for us," said UW head coach Brian Bishop in a telephone interview h s past Wednesday.BywinningonegarneagainstBrock they only had to sweep Guelph to lockup a playoff spot. 'We're a pretty good team," added Bishop. 'We're a' young team. p e win against &st place Brock] isgood for the psyche. It shows thatwe cancompetewith the best in the league." When asked about his choice ofpitcher forgame two against Brock, Bishop said that he chose Brennan Hageywho had not started h s season at that point for the Warriors. Bishop said, "I knew what he could do." This was because Bishop had worked with Hagey during the summer. Bishop said he noticed Brock had had a little trouble handling cunleballs. T h s is whycoachBishopgaveHageythe start. "The cunreballis his bread and butter," explained Bishop. See Baseball, page 25
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3,2003
Warriors crushed again
Sarah Allmendinger and Rod McLachlan IMPRINT STAFF
RYAN CHEN-WING
Fullback Kristy Heemskerk powers towards the Blues' line leading the Warrior comeback to tie.
Women's rugby wraps up season with win over Laurier Adam McGuire IMPRINT STAFF
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The UW women's rugby squad wrapped up their seasonin successful fashion on Wednesday, October 1 as they dominated their cross-town rirals from Laurier in a 22-3 victory at home. ' The win over the Golden Hawks assures UW a top-three finish in the Shiels division, keeping their OUA championship aspirations alive. But before their win over Laurier, the Warriors hosted the Toronto Varsity Blues on Saturday,September 27, battling their way to a 12-12 tie. Once again leading the way for the Warriorswas IGisty Heemskerk, who scored both Waterloo tries while converting one to salvage a draw with the evenly matched Blues. Heemskerk, who has already been named OUA athlete of the week for hcr dominating five-try performance against Brock earlier this season, continues to add to her OUA-leading points total. The game developed an unorthodox flow early on, with neither team . .* able to manufacture any threatening attacks. However, Toronto was the first to be forced back on their heels
when UW mounted an offensive that carried them deep into Blues territory. But a strong goal line stand by U of T coupled with some sloppy play by UVV resulted in a turnover as the Blues worked the ball away from danger. Toronto gained momentum from their stalwart defensive stand, as the Blues respondedwith a wave ofoffensive fury.Toronto was able to capitalize on their sustained offensive pressure when Leanne Corrigan punched in the game's first try. However, the convert was missed, and the Blues went ahead 5-0. The Warriors responded quickly, and just before the first halfwas complete, Heemskerkgrabbed the ball and flew past a plethora of Blues to score Waterloo's first try of the match. Heemskerk also missed her conversion attempt, and the half ended in a 5-5 deadlock. The second halfsawthe pace ofthe match pick up considerably, as both teams seemed to be rejuvenated after halftime. However, Toronto looked to be the stronger club in the second half. E,ventually, the Blues found a chink in the Waterloo armour and Alex Eden Walker took advantage of it. She burst through U\V defenders
and registered Toronto's second try, putting them ahead by five.A conversion by Shannon Smith tacked on the extra two points, and the Blues held a 12-5 lead. The Warriors began to show desperation in the minutes to follow. A Toronto injury stopped the action momentarily in the final ten minutes of the'game and the brief break in action seemed to be just what the Warriors needed. As play recommenced, Heemskerk looked like a woman possessed in the game's final five minutes. With time running out for the Warriors, Heemskerk tookthe ball and steamrolled her way to the right sideline, blowing past Toronto's would-be tacklers and scoringher league-leading serenth try of the year. The score brought U\V to within two, and Heemskerk rose to the occasion by converting the try and knotting up the score at 12-12. Moments later, the match ended in a draw. The Warriors concluded their season with a 2-1-1 record, as they await the end of the season to find out who they willmeet in the first-round of the playoffs.
FOOTBALL The \Y1arriorsmade the trip to Windsor this past Saturday. \Vindsor defeated the Warriors 65-21. Waterloo's recordis now at alom 1-4while\Vindsor went up to 3-2. The Warriors are currently tied for the last playoff spot with Guelph in the OUA standings. The Warriors' tough road schedule continues this weekend as they head east to Kingston to take on the Golden Gaels. WOMEN'S SOCCER The Warriors were absolutelyfantastic this weekend. Even though they outplayed Toronto, the final outcome was still a scoreless tie. On Sunday, the Warriors lost 1-0 to York. It was an excellent performance, however, theinability to find the net is costing Waterloo precious points. The Warriors are tied with Laurier for second place in their division with a 1-2-2 record. MEN'S SOCCER O n Saturday afternoon the Warriors traveled to Toronto and were defeated by theBlues 2-1. Peyman Charkhazin scored the lone Waterloo goal. O n Sunday, the Warriors turned things around and beat York 3-1. Waterloo was leading 2-1 when Hermes came up with a fantastic save on a penalty shot. This was the turning point as the Warriors went on to defeat York by the score of 3-1. The goal scorers were Carlos Alegre, Jeff Fiorino and Omar A-Sheikaly. The win bumps Waterloo five points ahead of WLU, sitting comfortably in second place in the group behind Western. The Warriors host Laurentian and Nippising this weekend.
Wednesdayevening3-0. Goal scorers for the Warriors mere Lindsay Hogsden, Victoria I>ounder and hIeagan Kllson. The Warriors trn-eled to London t h s pastweekend to play threeimportant OUXmatches. On Saturday,\Yaterloo faced CIS #3 ranked Queen's. In a defensivebattle the Golden Gaels edged the K'arriors 1-0. \Yaterloo returned to London on Sunday to face Carleton and divisional r i d \Vestern. Against Carleton, the Warriors came out on top with a 2-0 victory. In the afternoon,the Warriors faced the CIS #6 rankedX'estern. Despite a strong effort the \X7arriorslost 2-1 to the Mustangs. \YTaterloohas only managed nine goals in 10 games this month, sisth in the OUA. Western has 19goalsinnine games.The Warriors are currently fifth in the OUXwith a 3-4-3 record. Catch the Warriors against OUA leadmg Western on Saturday,October 4, 9:30am at University Stadium in K'aterloo. WOMEN'S FASTBALL UWis the home of a sports team that is attempting to gain varsity status. Women's fastpitchis not an officially sanctioned OUA sport. However, this does not mean that the action is inferior. In fact, the Waterloo women's fastpitch team finished the regular season first in their division and second overall in the ten team Ontario Intercollegiate Women's Fastpitch Association standings. Thegreat finish by Waterloo sends them to the OIWFA championships, which start tonight in St. Catharines at McCaffery Sports Park. The teamsvill face offin round robin action against Laurier's team tonight at 6:45p.m. Tomorrow, during the course of the day, they take on Western, Brock and Ottawa. Depending on the outcome of their games against their Pool B rivals, the team could advance to Sunday's semi-finals and then on to the finals later that day. with files from UW athletics
FIELD HOCKEY The Warriors defeated Guelph last
It's not easy being bleu, blanc et rouge - TWO-MINUTE WARNING Last night I woke up in a cold sweat. Each time I have that nightmare, I awake in a pool of perspiration, grabbing for the nearest sports page in hopes that itwill restore reality and dismiss the horrific images that danced in my head just seconds before. With one or two flips through the paper, I let out a sigh. My fears
have been alleviated. The Toronto Maple Leafs have notwon the Stanley Cup. I'll put it as nicely as I can: I hate the Toronto Maple Leafs. I always have, I always will, and if my future children want to Live under my roof, they will too. I was raised on a steady diet of the Dleu, blanc et rouge of the Montreal Canadiens,and anyonewho has lived in this country knows that a fan of Les Flabitants is morally obligated to have a hate-on for theLeafs. But it's not easy being a Habs fan in Ontario. Growing up in the town of Goderich (about 1 Yz hours from Waterloo), I encountered many aLeaf fan in my youth, and I quickly realized the plight of the A&&nadian
Leaf-hater. But I have been blessed to be alive during the Leafs' longest championship draught (almost 40 years) and if all trends continue, there is prolonged prosperity on the horizon for all you Leaf haters out there. As another season approaches, Toronto is yet another year closer to becoming the most dominant alumni team in the world. The Leafs are an archaic club filled with players who shared their prime with Crystal Pepsi and Melrose Place. Don't get me wrong; this Leafs roster could be dominant if only it were 1994 again. And if there is anything worse than old hockey players, it's whiney old hockey players. The Leafs crv so , much that you'd think they all dwn ,
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shares in Kleenex. The Leafs need to two of Leaf failure, and it will be time learn that it's mighty hard to win for the ever-popular rebuilding year tonight's game when you're still (I get giddy just thinking about it.) blaming the referees for last night's 1967 was the last time that the loss. But maybe the incessant weepToronto Maple Leafs won hockey's ing is legitimate; the way these whipgreatest prize, the Stanley Cup. After persnappers treat their elders these some serious scares throughout the days uwuld bring any geriatric to last ten years (the Leafs reached the tears. Stanley Cup semi-finals three times) Face it Leaf fans, yours is a hard the future now looks bright for all team to love. Pussycat centre Nik us Leaf-haters to stand up and hare Antropov has yet to realize that our day. hockey is a contact sport. Goalie Ed I've always said that the day the Belfour's ever-rising temper is Leafs win the Stanley Cup will be the matched only by his ever-failing skill day that hell freezes over. level. And if yappy winger Darcy Today's weather report from hell: Tucker's feet moved as fast as his Hot and muggy. mouth, he'd be one of the auickest s k a t e r s i n t h e ~ ~ ~ . A n o t h e ; ~ T e a r o r amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Baseball: Warriors fighting for a playoff berth Continued from page 23
The move proved to be a wise one as Hageywent the distance. Earning a split against Brock and then winning both games of h s past Tuesday's doubleheader in Guelph against the Gryphons was the Warriors' goal heading into their final four games of the regular season. In a telephone interview UW head coach BrianBishop adnutted thatwinrung three oftheirlast fourgameswould d e h t e l y get them into the playoffs.
However, the Warriors split this past Tuesday's doubleheader in Guelph as well. They lost the first game 4-2 and won the secondgamewith a convincing 9-2 score. By going2-2-0 (win-loss-tie)intheir halfourgames, the Warriors putthemselx~esintheircurrentpredicament,cheering for the Laurier Golden Hawks to sweep MciVaster. \Whether or not h s club makes the playoffs, head coach Bishop said he is happy with how the season went. He said that the team was young &us year
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and all of the experience the Warriors have gained this season in their playoff battlehas been invaluable.Bishopwent on to say that he hopes that all his young players will see success by the time that they h s h up at Waterloo. It seems like future success will not beaprobleminupcoming seasons with youngpitchersIkeMcNabb and fielders like MGdoch and kcst baseman Andrew Hoffman coming into their own.
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Canada rocks at Women's World Cup
TOP CORNER HOCKEY Tired ofwatching meaningless NHL regular seasongames? fireyou sick of cheering for rich millionaire players that are full of testosterone and ego? Are you sick and tired of the hapless Toronto Maple Lcafs with their big business antics and all their old, witheringplayers? Yell, the perfectremedy for the stalc old NHLis to cheer for the real heroes wearing the red and white Maple Leaf jersey. Come on and support the Canadian women's national soccer team currently playing in the Women's World Cup. Our own Canadian women's soccer team is well worthy of our cheers. There's no bickeringamong theplayers and no obnoxious behaviour. There's none of the "me-first" attirude in the team; just twenty admirable ladies giving their allwhile playing,
not for money, but for the pure love of the sport. That's why they are so refreshingly easy to like. Plus, these women know how to win. The Canadans have a potent s&e forcewiththree aggressive power fonvardsin ChristineSinclair, Christine Latham and ICaraLang. Sinclair, just 19 pears old, is a tower of power up front. While playing hurt, Sinclair headed in two important goals in the group stage. Then there's Latham who, at22 years old, has a never-giveup tenacity that produced three goals in the three games so far. But the most exciting player must be ICaraLang,who is a youngmagcian at only 16 years old. Lang brings to the table phenomenal talent at such a young age. She demonstrated her abilities in the 3-1 win against Japan when she curled a shot over the keeper from the left wing with her left foot. E'hile Lang has only one goal in the three games thus far, she easily could have scored against Argentina when she had a glorious chance in the goalmouth. Lang also had another opportunity against Japan when she shrugged off a defender, turned and
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let us r
fired a rocket over the net from close range. With her talent and imagination, Lang is definitely worth paying carefulattention to. Plus, sheis just so adorable to watch with her gleefulness, her cute long ponytail, and her flailing arms when running. However, the Canadianmedia has been guilty of putting unnecessary pressure on these young girls by settingunrealisticexpect3.tions. Sportsnet announcer Gerry Dobson inparticular was unduly negative towards the team in their 3-0 ~rictoryover Argentina. Before the match, the Sportsnet analysts had hyped up expectations to the point where anything less than a seven-goalbeating ofXrgentinawould be viewed as a disappointment. My God, the Canadans had never even won a World Cup game before! The team should not have been blasted for their "mere" 3-0 win, but rather, these fine young women should be commended for their effort.With the nation's full support this Canadian team could be apowerhouse for years to come. You justwatch.
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Friday, October 3, 2003
Oktoberfest Tournament October 3 - 4, 2003 UW Columbia Icefield O C ~ .3
4:00 pm Western vs Guelph 7:30 pm Brock vs Waterloo Oct. 4 Bronze Medal, 2:oo pm Gold Medal, 5:00 pm
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Warrior Golf
Frlday, October 3, 2003 UW Challenge Cup, Elmlra G&CC
Warrior Field Hockey Saturday, October 4, 2003 VS Western Ontario Mustangs, 9:30 am University Stadium
Warrior Rugby (MI Saturday, October 4, 2003 vs carleton Ravens, 1:00 pm UW Columbia Field #1
Warrior Soccer Saturday, October 4, 2003 vs Laurentian Voyageurs, ( W ) 1:00 pm ( M I Sunday, October 5, 2003 vs Nipissing Lakers, ( W ) 1:00 pm, ( M ) 3:01 UW Columbia Fleld #1
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Wednesday, October 8 , 2 0 0 3 vs W L U Golden Hawks, 7:30 pm UW Columbia Icefield Arena
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Tuesday, September 30, 2003 The City of Waterloo "Capture Your Heritage" workshops begin today until October 28 at Canadian Clay & Glass Gallery, course code 27122. Call 8861177, ext. 273 for details. Friday, October 3, 2003 Oktoberfest tickets on sale now! Have fun and support a local charity. Meals on Wheels of KW is selling Oktoberfest tickets for opening night for Bingeman'sMarshall Hall. Call 743-1471 for info1 tickets. CECS is pleased to announce the installation ceremony of an art piece, Waterloo Roots, in the Tatham Centre (TC) at 2:00 p.m. in the Ground Level, main lobby. Everyone is welcome! Saturday, October 4, 2003 EQ Technology Yard Sale at 182 Islington Ave., Kitchener from 10:OO a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Visit our website for more info: www.eq-trm.com. Thursday, October 16 Famine Relief Concert starring UW Drum Circle, Douglas Watson, Ophelia's Mask, Sweetline, Matt Osborne, Mo K a u f f e ~Red , Zepplin and many more from 8 p.m. to 12 a.m., Student Life Centre, Great Hall. Check out the website at http://www.geocities.com/ uwfaminel or Nancy at noneil@uwaterloo.ca for more information. Sunday, October 1 9 Spass 'N Spiel Needs You ! Help run this city of Waterloo, family-fun Oktoberfest event. Contact ChrisBarker at 8 8 5 - 1 2 2 0 ext. 2 4 1 o r email
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volunteer@city.uwater~oo.on.ca. Tuesday, October 21
Free prenatal Health Fair - for parents in early pregnancy or planning a pregnancy. Displays, pamphlets, mini workshops, dads-to-be, support and door prizes will be at Waterloo Memorial Rec Complex, 100 Father David Bauer drive, Waterloo. For more info call 883-2308
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Sunday, October 26 Lynn Miles performing at The Church Theatre, 1376 King Street, N., St. Jacobs, Ontario at 8:00 p.m. For infoltickets call 664-1134 or jenny@stjacobs.com. Monday, October 2 7 Central Ontario Orchid Society monthly meeting from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. at St. Joseph's Church, lower hall, Courtland1 Madison, Kitchener. Contact Dawn at 634-5540 for more info. All are welcome.
Power Play for Easter Seal kids - volunteers needed. Spend a few hours on Saturday, October 4 helping with Power Play for Easter Seal Kids. A fun outdoor, 4 on 4, street hockey tournament being held in the Philthy McNasty's parking area at Westmount Plaza, Waterloo from 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. For more info contact Lisa at 568-8556 or Ireaurne@easterseals.org. Smiling - Over Sickness, SOS, is a student-run organization whosc goal is to make sick children smile. This objective is achieved through voluntary services provided within the locA community. These services include trick or treating in local hospitals, wheelchair basketball, coffee houses, etc. If you are interested please email soswaterloo@hotmail.com. Cradlelink, a Lutherwood-CODA program, trains volunteers and matches them with a family in K-W or surrounding areas to provide in-home support to families with infants for three to four hours a week. Contact Julia at 743-
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a few hours weekly during the school day and make a life long difference to a child. Volunteers are matched by the Canadian Mental Health Association with children who need additional support at school. FRIENDS operates in partnership with local school boards and helps children 4 to 15 years. Call 744-7645, ext. 317 or www.cmhawrb.on.ca. Resume builder! Volunteers needed to visit people with Alzheimer Disease through Alzheimer Society Volunteer Companion Program. One to four hours per week. Next training session: October 4 or November 11, 18. Call Jill at 742-1422 or email jmercier@nonline.net. Volunteer Action Centre, 742-8610, is seeking volunteers for the following positions ... VOLUNTEER AT KPL..#1067.. read a book to a child, visit a home bound reader, assist students with homework, etc. Day or evening hours available. HABITAT FOR HUMANITY..#101314173..seeking committee members for their Board of Directors. One meeting per month with some committee work. VOLUNTEER COMPANIONS ..#1128-1543..for the Alzheimer Society. Spend time with individuals with dementia. A commitment of a year is required. Full training is provided. ALL ABOUT FOOD..#1135-14142.. Individuals to assist with nutrition education. Volunteers should be flexible, reliable, and sensitive to the needs of those with acquired brain injuries. LIGHTS, CHILDREN, ACTION..#4039-14146 & 14147.. The Children's Drama Group is looking for someone to assist with the Board of Directors, as well as an administrative assisstant 8-12 hours per week. ENVIRONMENTAL ENTHUSIASTS Volunteer on Saturday, October 4 from 9:00 a.m. to noon at the City of Waterloo - Parks and Environmental Services ECO-FESTIVAL! Please respond immediately at 747-8643.
Monday, October 6, 2003 Employer Interviews Begin (includes Chartered Accounting). Workshops: Interview Skills: The Basics: Learn the fundatmentals of successful interviewing. 3:30 p.m. - 4:30 p.m. (TC room 2218). Interview Skills: Preparing for Questions: discuss and learn from actual excerpts of actual interviews. 4:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. (TC room 2218) Tuesday, October 7, 2003 Workshops: Faculty of Education Talks: Brock University, the University of Western Ontario, University of Toronto, York University, Lakehead University, OISE(MA),Trent University. 10:30 a.m.5:30p.m. (TC room 2218) Wednesday, October 8, 2003 Workshops: Faculty of Education Talks: Univers~ty of Windsor, University of Ottawa 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. (TC room 2218) Faculty of Education Talks: Nipissing University 2:3O - 3:30 p.m. (TC room 2218) Thursday, October 9, 2003 Architecture: Hand in copy of resume package to CECS drop-off slot by 8 p.m. Workshops: Are you prepared to work outside of Canada? An introductory workshop intended to help you to determine your readiness to work outside of Canada and provide some advice on beginning the process. 10:30 a.m. -11:30 a.m. (TC room 1208). Taking Care of Business - Session 11: Case studies will be reviewed and critiqued, and there will be opportunity for a thorough discussion. 3:30 - 7:30 p.m. (TC room 2218). Friday, October 10, 2003 Chartered Accounting: Employer Interviews end. Workshops: Interview Skills: Selling Your Skills: don't stop at the fundamentals; you must also prove your
tunity to practice and improve. 2:30 4:30 p.m. (TC room 1208). Monday, October 13, 2003 University closed for Thanksgiving. Tuesday, October 14, 2003 Chartered Accounting: ranking forms available after 10:OO a.m. and due back by 4:00 p.m. Architecture: posting available by 12 noon. Teaching: posting #1 available by 12 noon. Hand in one copy resume package to CECS drop-off slot by 8:00 p.m.
HELP WANTED
~ i t c h e n e ris looking for 2 female players for Monday evenings. Contact Jeff at 7441486.
TRAVEL & TEACH ENGLISH: Jobs, $$ guaranteed. TESOL certified in five days. Attend a free information seminar. Free infopack: 1888-270-2941 or www.globaltesol.com. Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Experience, minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Now hiring student fundraisers! $8.00/hour to start. Work on campus, flexible hours, raises every term! If you are a good communicator, enthusiastic and dependable, then we want to talk to you! Please apply in person at the Office of Development in South Campus Hall. Please include a cover letter, resume, class schedule and three references. Models required for Catholic sculptor: a Jesus look-a-like. Also male and female nudes. Competitive rates. Please check o u t website: www.sculpturebytps.com. Call 7421619. Monday to Friday 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Behaviour Institute is now hiring part-time facilitators in the Waterloo and St. Mary's areas to work oneon-one with children with autism. Successful applicants should have: B.A. or B.Sc. (or enrolled) in psychology/child studies; experience working with special needs children. Fax resume to (905) 570-0778 or please e-mail to: behaviourinstitute@hotmail.com. A1 Madina Egyptian Cuisine needs -. waitressiwaiters for part-time hours. Please bring resume to the restaurant at 160 Phillip Street, University Plaza, corner of Philli~Street and Universitv. Dreamweaver programming skills? Developmental psychology professor is looking for a student with experience with Dreamweaver to help with regular updating (5-10 hourslweek) of current research lab website. Hourly rate to be negotiated dependent on experience level. Preferred if student on campus until April 2004. Please email Daniela O'Neill at doneill@watarts.uwaterloo.ca if interested.
An invitation to singers: the University of Waterloo Choir invites singers (soprano, alto, tenor and bass) t o sing in Mendelssohn's Elijah. The choir rehearses Tuesday evenings at Conrad Grebe1Chapel from 6:30-9:00 p.m. The concert date is Saturday, November 22 at 8:00 p.m. For further info contact the Music Department at music@uwaterloo.ca.
Brass T V stand - $5 ; two wicker chairs - $5 ; two floor vases - $2 ; white plant stand (multi-level) - $2 ; Yamaha keyboard - $1,200 ; computer desk with hutch and dresser with mirror (set) - $100 ; black and gray bedroom set (dresser with mirror, bedside table, and headboard with metal bed frame with wheels) - $450. Please call 747-7733. Negative enlarger for sale - 670 DXL Dichroic (maker), model Gralab 450,
Monday, October 6, 2003 Smart Searching Techniques ll:30a.m.12:20p.m. Learn how to develop your search strategies and techniques to find the references you need. Register in advance: www.lib.uwaterloo.calusered1form. Meet at the Information Desk, Davis Centre Library.
EQ Technology Yard Sales continue this Fall. Dates will be posted in Campus Bulletin, upcoming section, or visit our website at www.eq-Crm.com. Join the Fitness Forum, a free on-line discussion board dedicated to fitness, nutrition and training. Log on today a t www.musclebymills.com. Coffee House performers needed for Nodember 1 show in the Student Life Centre from 9:00 p.m. to 12 a.m. If interested contact Nancv O'Neil at 888-4048, ext 6283 or none;l@uwaterloo.ca Backgammon - it is "not lust a game." It is "the game!" Easy to learn to and excruciating to play well? Learn it from the Guru. contact t~ambala@sympatico.ca Need food or short of cash? The FEDS Food Bank is a cofidential student-run food bank that provides free groceries to UW students. Visit us in the Student Life Centre, room 2108 or you can e-mail us at:
lens Nikon 5 0 m 1.28, multi-format, trays, etc. included. LPL 3241-48EX. Please call 885-4898. Two tub chairs, excellent condition at $25 each ; two side tables at $10 each ; one large freezer at $50. Call 885-4898.
COURSES Jabot Bartending School - certified four week course including Smart Serve and local job placement assistance. 1-8773 2 9 - 6 8 7 3 o r visit our web site at www.jabotbartendingschool.com
HOUSING Room for rent - spacious, bright, above grade room with telephone hookup within sprawling three bedroom townhouse at 80 Churchill. Short term lease available. Cool roommates. $375 plus. www.HaneyPM.com for more info or call 746-141 1. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 7255348.
WANTED Writers wanted for film project. Three part television miniseries drama based on university life. Please send scripts to uw-film@yahoo.ca or contact Margie Mansell (UW Film Club president) at 589-6364 for more info.
SERVICES Essay help - research and writing. Winning applications, entrance letters from dedicated writing experts. 1-888-3458295 or www.customessay.com. "Ultimate Questions," The Lord Tesus Christ is thk difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence. Please send name and address to: Bible Study, Zion United Reformed Church, 1238 Main Street, Sheffield, ON, LOR 1ZO or email bible@zurch.on.ca. See website: www.zurch.on.ca. Click on Links, ask for book, sign up today, it's free!
FOUND On sidewalk going up University Ave., a silver pentacle pendant. Please describe to claim by e-mailing cdallair@rsl.uwaterloo.ca or phone 888-4567 ~ 6 4 8 1 .
TRAVEL Sun travel deals - Reading Week (February) to Cancun, Acapulco, Cuba, Dominican, etc. or Montreal at New Years. Book now and save! Student travel specialists. Earn free trips or cash! www.rooms2party.com ; Thames Travel (Todd) 1-800-962-8262.
The movement for active, healthy living 7
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FOR UP TO DATE EVENT LISTINGS AND MORE INFO CALL 888-4042 OR VISIT HMMI.FEDS.CA
Tickets on sale NOW in the FED Office