2003-04_v26,n24_Imprint.

Page 1

Let the battle begin

Ups and Downs

Feds election pullout —page 15

The streak is over but all is well —page 26

Talent show

Arts faculty to hold referendum on endowment fund Christine Baker EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

GARICK STEVENSON

Ben Kowalewicz of Billy Talent rocks Fed Hall on Saturday, January 24. The soldout show was supported by Boys Night Out and Death from Above. For a full interview, see page 21.

tribution, with options ranging from $10 to $17 per student. According to Dilts, the volume of Arts students will soon have the op- students in the faculty of arts is the portunity to vote on whether or not to primary reason why the per-student contribution would be so low comcreate an arts endowment fund. A referendum, set to take place pared to other funds on campus. “With five to six thousand stuFebruary 10-12, will decide the fate of a proposed endowment fund that dents contributing, [the fund] will would see arts students make a re- make an adequate amount of money fundable contribution of up to $17 rather quickly,” said Dilts. Pending approval, the arts endowper term. Currently, all other faculties on cam- ment fund would begin in either the pus have endowment funds in which spring or fall term of 2004, although students make contributions ranging the date has yet to be determined. Public meetings to discuss the enfrom $27.44 (applied health sciences endowment fund) to $75 (engineer- dowment fund are set to take place on February 2 in Arts Lecture Hall, room ing endowment fund) per term. Contributions to the arts endow- 116 at 3 p.m. and at the end of the ment fund would create an ever-grow- Feds’ election forum on February 4, ing fund of which the principal amount which will run from 1 to 3 p.m. A question and answer period is would never be spent and the interest earned would be used to fund student expected to follow opening discussions by both the yes committee, those projects each year. “It would offer amazing benefits in favour of the endowment fund, to students in the faculty of arts,” said and the no committee, those opposed Andrew Dilts, ASU vice president. to the fund, although no official rep“[It would provide] funding for stu- resentatives for the yes committee have dent projects, anything from tens of been designated and a no committee thousands of dollars in lab renova- has not been formed. “I have received no requests for tions to funding individual student further information from people wantprojects.” A board would be formed to con- ing to form a no committee,” said trol the disbursement of the interest Brandon Sweet, executive researcher/ and would include the dean of arts, a assistant for the Federation of Students “although a staff member, a no committee faculty member, could be formed an alumnus and “No student is at any time.” seven elected un“There are dergraduate stubound to some students dents. contribute to an that have concerns The proposed fund has been in endowment fund.” that they will never benefit from the works for — Andrew Dilts projects funded months. At a Feds ASU vice-president by an arts endowcouncil meeting ment fund,” said on April 6, 2003, arts regular councillor Kyle Selmes Dilts. “If they are graduating, they will asked council to approve a referen- likely never see the benefits of the fund dum for the creation of an Arts En- but they won’t put any money into it dowment Fund, to be held during the either. It’s important for students to 2003/04 academic year. The motion remember that it is a fee that they may opt out of. No student is bound to passed unanimously. Questions for the referendum were contribute to an endowment fund.” Voting, which will run concurrently formally proposed by arts regular councillors Rhiannon MacDonnell and Will with the Feds council and executive Hamilton during a November 9, 2003 elections, will begin at 8 a.m. on Tuesstudents’ council meeting. The ques- day, February 10 and will close at 8 tions were unanimously approved by p.m. on Thursday, February 12. All full and part-time undergraduate stucouncil. The first question will read “do dents in the faculty of arts will be you support the creation of an arts eligible to vote in the referendum. endowment fund to be paid by all Voting will take place online as well as undergraduate students in the faculty at polling stations across campus. of arts?” The second question deals with the amount of the per term coneditor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

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Neal Moogk-Soulis

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by Julian Apong and Dan Micak

“Buy a crappy house on University Ave... ten minutes or less from the school.” Sarah Brunet

“Gonna go smoke a spliff.” Maninder Sidhu and Bilal Buttar 1B economics and 2A economics

1B arts

Across 1. Nessie’s home port 5. Title of deference 9. North African resident 13. Double-reed woodwind 14. French tapestry town 16. New Zealand evergreen 17. Snakelike 19. To declare bluntly 20. Grammatical arrangement 21. You’ve already eaten? 22. Spock can do this with minds 23. Curved things 25. In an ideal manner 27. New Year’s ballad 31. Lever out 32. Don’t do this to 007’s martini 33. One data point 37. Everpresent in an election 39. A game-hunter’s trail 42. How to recognize a proboscis monkey 43. Atomic number 54 45. A copycat of the simian variety 47. Church bench 48. Used for making concrete 52. Definitely not next door 55. A heroic tale 56. German member of the GM family 57. Until now 59. Repeal a right 63. Opaque gem January 23 solution

“I did?” Kevin Centeno 2B math and music

“Buy a permanent table in the SLC.” Arithma Omar 3B psychology

“Pawn my ring so I can take me and all my friends on a hot trip.” Erica Riehl

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CROSSWORD

You’ve just won the Super Bowl. What are you going to do now?

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64. How to brighten up your whites on the dance floor 66. Wash with soap and water 67. Supernatural and mysterious 68. Assured liveliness and panache 69. Always useful on a snowday 70. Force apart 71. An obscure Hercules series character Down 1. When cost exceeds revenue 2. Be obedient 3. Always popped at the theatre 4. Seven 5. Tailless cats 6. Beauty in the eye of the beholder 7. Opera solo 8. The religious bug 9. Pre-Christian Syrian tribe 10. Father of Boléro and Pavane 11. Circular coral reef favoured for atomic testing 12. Humourously vulgar 15. Shabby and untidy 18. Diana’s brother and his equals 24. Key actionin a vasectomy

4B political science

“I’ll thank Jesus.” Brad Stewart

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“Go party.” Natasha John

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“Where are the cheerleaders going?” Paul Jackson

Jason Hammond may well be the busiest man on campus. He is in his final year of a bachelor of arts degree with an option in speech communication and his volunteer activities focus primarily on promoting action and understanding on climate change.

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He is involved in sponsorship and educational campaigns for the Midnight Sun Solar Race Car Team. One of his educational duties in this capacity is to teach kids about renewable energy. Jason is also on the 2004 task force for the International Youth Summit on Sustainable

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26. Never at the beginning 27. Highest point 28. Strong desire 29. Mackenzie King’s middle name 30. Vocal displeasure 34. Be an alcoholic 35. A software client 36. Cat sounds 38. Alleged 40. Chooses the alternative 41. One who makes comments 44. One word for a baby 46. Orion’s brightest star 49. Possibly 50. Small grommet 51. The X-men’s benefactor 52. Falstaff, Yorick and Feste together 53. Strike with disgust 54. Take as spoils 58. Weedy vetch 60. Make eyes at the ladies 61. Genghis or Kublai 62. Sicilian volcano 65. American intelligence abroad nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Urban Transportation. He is a member of the Green Transportation Subcommittee, with the Citizens’Advisory Committee on Air Quality within the Waterloo Region. They work on idling reduction, international car-free day and the commuter challenge. He is also the vice president of the Central Frederick Neighbourhood Association. If you aren’t yet stunned by Jason’s long list of commitments, Jason also has a paid position as co-ordinator of the Climate Change Education and Awareness Campaign. This entails “making sure everyone on campus knows about climate change and what they can do to mitigate it — how to help Canada meet Kyoto and beyond.” More information about this can be found at climatechange.uwaterloo.ca. — Fiona Hudgins

NEWS FRIDAY, FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 JANUARY 30, 2004

Imprint news

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Stock in trade

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Two UW teams invest wisely — page 4

Crouching tiger, spitting lion Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF

Universities •

Professors at Acadia University in Nova Scotia are moving closer to striking. The professors feel that they are not being paid on par with profs from other Canadian universities. Pending a report from the conciliator, the faculty will be in position to strike within two weeks.

•

Two months after the brutal attack on a female student at the University of Saskatchewan, a security review is being conducted. A Calgary-based consulting firm is conducting the review. The Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CASA) is happy that the university is listening to their requests.

•

Three Alberta universities — Calgary, Alberta and Lethbridge — are filing a lawsuit against Macleans, alleging that grade inflation at universities in other provinces provide them with an unfair advantage over Alberta schools in weighing academics.

Canada JULIAN APONG

•

The Martin administration has called an inquiry into the circumstances surrounding the deportation and subsequent torture of Canadian engineer Maher Arar. Arar was detained while making a stopover at JFK International Airport while returning from a vacation to Tunisia. He was deported to Syria, jailed and tortured for a year, then inexplicably released.

•

The Bank of Canada recently unveiled the new anti-counterfeit $100 bill. The bill, reminiscent of the new fives and tens, contains several advanced anti-counterfeit measures including a full metallic holographic stripe, and a colour shifting thread woven into the bill. The bill will officially go into circulation on March 17, 2004.

•

Toronto mayor-elect David Miller said yesterday that despite efforts to revive the Adams Mine landfill, he remains opposed to shipping Toronto’s trash to a proposed dump on the Kirkland Lake site.

•

Canadians are facing a miserable flu season with the early and unexpected arrival of a particularly nasty strain of the virus that was not targeted in this year’s shots.

LunarFest, the Chinese new year celebration hosted by some of UW’s Asian student clubs, finished off its festivities on Wednesday at Fed Hall with a rousing lion dance, which is believed to repel demons.

Several Feds council seats remain untouched in this year’s nominations Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

UW is three days into the Feds 2004-2005 election and we have already hit upon controversy, not because of who is running this year but rather because of who is not. This year’s list of candidates is full of holes, with several seats left vacant after an almost three week long nomination period. Other seats were immediately acclaimed by a single nominee due to lack of running mates, while other seats were contested. AHS, engineering, optometry, independent studies, math, arts and arts co-op are among the faculties that have each seen one seat go vacant so far in this race. Meanwhile, engineering co-op,

environmental studies co-op, math and math co-op all saw chairs go acclaimed. The only faculty that actually has a race for their co-op seats is science, with two candidates vying for the co-op seat and three candidates vying for the two regular seats. Out of 26 council seats, eight seats were acclaimed. Ten were vacant. While this comes as something of a surprise to many, past Feds councillors seem to be unphased. Engineering councillor Lawrence Lam does not seem very surprised to see a lack of involvement in UW politics, and explained that council will continue to operate despite the vacancies. “Vacant seats are pretty typical,” he said. “I’ve personally never had to run in an election [to win

a seat]. I almost did but one candidate dropped out leaving the rest of us to be acclaimed.” Lam suggested that the responsibility of a Feds position can appear to be too overwhelming for many students to consider, a perspective that may have been bolstered by the fact that five Feds councillors have left their posts since December. “I can imagine that a lot of councillors are wary about running for a seat knowing the responsibility that it entails,” said Lam. “I think our academic culture makes it difficult to commit to extra-curricular activities and this is reflected in the whole notion of campus apathy on many things outside of Feds.” See VACANT, page 6

International •

France takes another step towards filtering religion out of their public school system. A bill was recently introduced banning all blatant signs of religious affiliation, including forms of headwear, crosses and even forcing beard-wearing youth to shave their faces. The law is expectedly causing much controversy in many countries.

•

The bird flu has surfaced once again in China, making it the tenth Asian country to report confirmed instances of the virus. The flu only directly affects birds, but when they are eaten, the virus transfers to humans. The possibility for the virus to mutate and be contagious among humans appears to be unlikely, but Canada and other countries are still planning for an outbreak situation. talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint news

4

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

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UW professor Grant Russell (left) stands with Henry Ho, Daniel Reiter and Herman Leung, the winners of the University Investment Challenge, as well as Alister Mason, director of UW’s School of Accountancy. They turned $100,000 into $160,000 with their savvy investing.

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UW conquers the University Investment Challenge Nina Makrigaini SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

It is not the first time that the University of Waterloo has done it, and hopefully it will not be the last. From September 29 to November 28, seven UW students achieved a great success and earned a bit of money doing it. The seven students, divided into two different teams, competed in the University Investment Challenge. This gave the competitors a real-life representation of how the stock market works. Open to all universities and colleges in Canada, this competition allowed students to use simulated money to invest in stocks that would “result in the greatest return,” described Helen Chow, a member of one of the UW teams.

Each team was given $100,000 to play around with in five different stock markets, including the New York Stock Exchange, NASDAQ, CBOE, the Toronto Stock Exchange and the Montreal Exchange. Even though the $100,000 was imaginary, it did not stop our teams from bringing the top two spots in the challenge home to UW. The first place team included Henry Ho, Herman Leung and Daniel Reiter. They turned their $100,000 into $160,000 and received $1,000 dollars each (in real money, of course). “We consulted Web sites to look for trends in certain stocks. That’s what we owe our success to,” said Reiter. Chow, Mohammad Waqas Yousafzai, Santhosh Sivamoorthy and

James Rubes were the members of the second team. They turned their $100,000 into $152,000 by finding a hot American stock called Baldwin Technologies. “This was a stock that we just stumbled upon,” said Chow. Professor Grant Russell provided guidance for the two groups. He said that he is very elated for and proud of the students of each group. UW has won the investment challenge in a previous year; however, Prof. Russell said that this year’s win is still a great achievement, if not a larger one. The students are very thankful to Prof. Russell for his leadership and support. Chow said that Russell’s emphasis on “bigger risk, bigger possible gain” gave them the guts to raise the stakes, allowing them to win the competition.

Another year, another election How will the Feds candidates communicate better this time?

Ryan Chen-Wing UWRYAN . COM Feds election season has begun and students haven't shown much interest in running. With nine candidates for four executive postions, we have the lowest turnout of candidates in five elections. Student voter turnout hasn't been so good either. In the 37 years of Feds history, last year’s turnout of 14.9 per cent is the sixth lowest in history. Five of the six lowest voter turnouts have been in the past six years. The few candidates that are running will have to meet the challenge of getting voters out. Then those who win will have to meet the challenge of engaging the student interest for next year. The best solution I can suggest for this is what candidates have acknowledged as an important issue in this

election: communication. Candidates should take the words of Thomas Jefferson to heart. He wrote, “Cherish therefore the spirit of our people, and keep alive their attention. Do not be too severe upon their errors, but reclaim them by enlightening them.” By communicating with students, they can be engaged and interested in their student organization, Feds. Students will only be able to care about Feds if they know about it. Therefore, communication is the basis of student interest. It is easy for candidates to say that communication is important, but candidates must answer questions of how. How will they improve communication? The current executives know, acknowledge, and state the importance of communication, but myself and others have said that they could do better at it. What prevents Feds execs from communicating better, and what makes candidates think they can overcome this? This is the question that must be answered before we can be confident that this year's candidates will be able to communicate better.

This election, arts students will be able to vote in a referendum on an arts endowment fund. If passed, students would start contributing to a fund through a new fee and the interest on the fund would be spent on education in arts. The faculty of arts is the last faculty without some kind of student-controlled endowment. The first one was engineering with WEEF. This one in arts has been a long time coming. While some students may disagree with having to contribute money for specific funding allocations, not one can reasonably oppose providing more resources to education. Those concerns are ameliorated by the nature of student endowments at UW. The first concern with paying the fee is addressed by the fee being refundable. The second concern, regarding what is funded, is addressed by the opportunity to get involved in the funding decisions. Students probably have the most say in endowment funding compared to any other funds spent on education at UW. ryan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Imprint news

5

Candidates get grilled at the Bomber

ANDREW DILTS

Feds presidential nominees Kevin Ma, Will Hamilton and Becky Wroe answer questions from the Bomber stage at this year’s Feds election media forum.

“Hutton Inquiry” clears Blair

Mike Kerrigan IMPRINT STAFF

Before the first few bombs burst over Iraq in the failed decapitation strike that launched the Iraq war, a parallel war had been launched in a volley of media attacks that challenged the credibility of the leaders involved in the assault. Their opponents worked to frame the rightness or wrongness of the initiation of the war on the strength of the evidence supporting for the view that Iraq posed a significant international threat. As in Iraq, where a stream of targeted attacks followed the end of major combat operations, the battle to control the political consequences of the war continued despite its termination. Although few question that Iraqis are better off without Saddam than they were under his rule, the case for a pre-emptive strike against his regime was not based on the well being of the Iraqi people. It was based upon an evaluation of the threat his government posed to the world’s security. Weapons inspectors have thus far been unable to locate any stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction, providing fodder for those who believe security intelligence was distorted to provide justification for an attack. In Britain, Blair has been accused of “sexing up” the dossier he presented to Parliament to gain the House’s support for the war. Particular focus has been placed on the veracity of a claim in the report that Hussein’s forces could launch WMD attacks within 45 minutes of his order. BBC journalist Andrew Gillian reported that a source close to the administration informed him that the government probably knew that the

claim was false before inserting it into their report. The severity of the story’s accusation spurned a search for the identity of Gillian’s source that eventually exposed Dr. David Kelly, a senior official in the Ministry of Defence and a biological weapons expert, as the origin of the article’s claims. Dr. Kelly confirmed that he was the likely source of Gillian’s information but denied the content of the report and claimed that the journalist had not accurately reflected his statements. Partly due to the stress of his exposure, Dr. Kelly took his own life, leading to a flurry of accusations that Blair’s government intentionally revealed him to silence others who may speak to the media and ergo was responsible for his death. The “Hutton Inquiry,” named for the presiding judge, was launched to investigate all aspects of Gillian’s report, including Dr. Kelly’s involvement, exposure and death. This Wednesday, Lord Hutton concluded that the BBC’s report was “unfounded” and that it did not have grounds to accuse the government of deliberately misrepresenting facts in its Iraq dossier. Further, it cleared the government of any underhanded or duplicitous strategy to release Dr. Kelly’s name to the media and severely criticized the BBC’s loose treatment of the serious accusations with which it charged the government. The BBC’s chairman resigned as a result of the report. With the conclusion of the inquiry, the British media will hopefully refocus on an evaluation of the achievements and setbacks coalition troops face. Ultimately, regardless of the reasons for entering into the war, its rightness or wrongness will be decided by the fate of post-Saddam Iraq. Criticism of the government’s involvement in Iraq should not overshadow a serious evaluation of how to proceed in the future.

mkerrigan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint news

6

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

When push comes to shovel Also, UW controls asthma, does some big business with MBET piratory specialist and get the answers to all your questions about asthma. You can also have your breathing tested and learn how to become less dependent on your puffer. Check out the SLC drop-in booth or contact Health Services at 888-4096 for more information.

Lauren S. Breslin IMPRINT STAFF

Take that snow and shovel it — quickly!

When snow falls on K-W, citizens are expected to clear the sidewalks in front of their homes and businesses. Kitchener issued about 1,200 notices last year, calling them “courtesy” notes, to remind property owners of their wintertime obligations. After the snow stops, you’ve got 24 hours to shovel, shovel, shovel. If you don’t, city crews will do the job for you — but they will also leave a bill behind. On more spacious lots, this could cost you up to $200. Asthma awareness

Many asthmatics consider themselves to be in control of their asthma, but according to Health Services, less than half actually are. Did you know that nine Canadians die every week from asthma? Drop by the SLC on Tuesday, February 3 to speak with a registered res-

On-campus help for eating disorders

If you have an eating disorder, you’re not alone — there’s hope and help out there for you. Health Services has a team of doctors, nurses and counsellors on hand, including a registered dietitian who can help you through it. This is a free service to all UW students and all information is kept private and confidential. If you think you have an eating disorder, talk to a professional. Drop into Health Services or call 888-4096 to book an appointment. Does UW have a leading business program? You MBET!

A team of students from UW’s master of business, entrepreneurship and technology (MBET) program has been selected as one of three North American finalists in the Graduate

Student Licensing Competition. Prem Gururajan, Ethan Henry, Harish Patel and Joyce Kyeyune will present their plan at the society’s winter meeting in San Francisco in mid-February. Competition participants had to submit a business plan dealing with intellectual property and licensing issues. Of the numerous entries received, the judges narrowed the field to three finalists, two from the United States and one from UW. Student saves Toronto hospitals $1.2 million

When co-op student Sarah Stephens joined the Transcription Services department at the University Health Network in Toronto, she knew they were in the midst of fiscal turbulence. Her department was responsible for converting physicians’ notes from three major hospitals into electronic records, a process which cost over $2 million per year. Stephens, a third-year math and business major, was asked to develop a strategy for bringing the departmental costs back within budget. She investigated the possibilities of voice recognition software and electronic note automation. Following her analysis, she produced a report proposing savings upwards of $1.2 million.

Small company lends big hand

The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation will be presenting Wynne International & Monark Equipment with a plaque for their contributions to the Ride for Diabetes Research event. Company president John Tummon, a UW alumnus, conceived the idea for his business while at UW, and for the past 15 years has assembled and supplied over 75 Monark bikes for this annual stationary bike-a-thon. Last year in Toronto the event raised almost $900,000, and this year hopes to raise $1.6 million in 11 communities across Canada, including Kitchener’s City Hall this September.

Vacant: few seats contested this year Continued from page 3

Information in electronic form will soon be all the rage, as UW’s library shifts their spending away from print materials in favour of e-journals — online versions of scientific and scholarly publications. UW will lead the trend that is now spreading across Canada to spend more money on electronic serials than on prints. According to UW librarian Mark Haslett, Canada’s research libraries increased their spending on e-journals by 38.6 per cent between 2001 and 2002, an average of $1.40 million.

Lam added that a condensed council may be beneficial to the decisionmaking process. “I think that if council were smaller it might be more effective, but that’s left to be seen.” Recently departed math co-op councillor Rob Ewaschuk, on the other hand, expects the seats to eventually fill up. “People may not have wanted to run [in the] elections, but will still want to be on council. This is unfortunate, as the elections are important and also provide incidental advertising for Feds and council.” Ewaschuk agreed that council is cast in a negative light that deters potential candidates. “You have to do a lot of work to make any difference, and for most people that’s a daunting task. Because council often isn’t given the power it deserves, it isn’t seen as relevant or important.” Still, Ewaschuk does not feel it will make a difference, as long as the most committed players stay in the game. “It doesn’t matter how many bad councillors aren’t there, it matters how many good ones are,” said Ewaschuk, who nevertheless expressed disappointment in how few councillors are returning to their positions.

lbreslin@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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OPINION

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 FRIDAY, JANUARY 23, 2004

7 Imprint is published by Imprint Publications Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Palestine event exploited emotions How the tragic death of an American activist was used to advance political goals

Lauren S. Breslin IMPRINT STAFF

This much we know for sure: on March 16, 2003, a 23-year-old American college student named Rachel Corrie placed herself in front of an Israeli bulldozer in the Gaza Strip town of Rafah and was crushed to death. What we don’t know for sure is whether Corrie’s death was a tragic

accident, or whether she was, as her parents put it, “intentionally harmed.” Corrie was a member of the International Solidarity Movement (ISM), a group of activists who oppose American and Israeli anti-terrorist activities. On the day of her death, Corrie trespassed into a closed military zone and stood in front of a moving bulldozer. According to a fellow ISM member who witnessed the incident, Joseph Smith, the bulldozer had been heaping up a pile of dirt when Corrie scrambled to the top of the mound. She then lost her footing as the pile moved beneath her and tumbled out of sight.

“The driver lost sight of her and continued forward,” Smith said. “Then, without lifting the blade he reversed and Rachel was underneath the mid-section of the dozer, she wasn’t run over by the tread.” Following her death, Israeli PM Ariel Sharon promised President Bush a “thorough, credible and transparent investigation” of the incident. The driver of the bulldozer and his commander were interrogated extensively using polygraph tests and video evidence. It was soon confirmed by a branch of the Israeli judiciary that what Smith said was true: the driver lost sight of

We’re not all idiots, damnit Christine Baker FACTS OF LIFE Do marketing people take us for idiots? The short answer is yes. Having worked in retail for a number of years, I am no stranger to profit margins and pricing points. The basic retail mantra is if people are willing to pay it — they’ll charge it. I once set up a display of Carnation hot chocolate — regular and light. After setting up this display for a while, I noticed that there must be something to this “light” hot chocolate because it actually felt lighter. I examined the box, which advertised that it contained 50 per cent few calories than the regular hot chocolate. Upon further examination of both the regular hot chocolate and its lighter counterpart, I realized why. The ingredients on both boxes were identical. The difference? Exactly half as much prod-

uct. So no kidding it would have half as many calories — it is half a serving of the regular product. The real kicker? Same price. So you can shell out the same amount of money for exactly half as much product — nice. But hey, at least you save some calories along the way. I watched the light product fly off the shelves without a single customer catching on, knowing that I have almost certainly fallen victim to this ridiculous scenario myself. The other day I was waiting in line to pay for my windshield washer fluid, when I spotted some Reese’s peanut butter cups. Like the idiot that they take me for, I impulsively reached out and grabbed them. Knowing that I had a friend in the car who would almost certainly like to partake in the treat, I was faced with the ultimate dilemma in snack sharing — the standard pack only has three cups. But wait — the king-sized fourpack on the shelf caught my eye. Perfect solution? Not quite. The three-pack would cost me 92 cents — roughly 30 cents per cup. So why, then, would the fourFriday, January 30, 2004

editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

— Vol. 26, No. 24

Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief, Christine Baker editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Assistant Editor, Lauren Breslin Cover Editor, Dan Micak News Editor, Bianca Tong News Assistant, Mark Stratford Opinion Editor, Sarah Allmendinger Opinion Assistant, Phil Weiner Features Editor, Tim Alamenciak Features Assistant, Sarah Lau Arts Editor, Matt Charters Arts Assistant, Garick Stevenson Science Editor, Eli Denham Science Assistant, Daisy Samadi Sports Editor, Adam McGuire Sports Assistant, Rod McLachlan Photo Editor, Margie Mansell Photo Assistant, Rebecca Zhou Graphics Editor, Julian Apong Graphics Assistant, Jeff Tran

pack set me back $1.59 — roughly 40 cents per cup? Is that last cup just better? Is it worth 67 cents when its counterparts are only worth 30? You could buy two three-packs for an extra 25 cents. When I asked the attendant why there was this price difference, she just shrugged and said “I don’t know.” She then followed up with what I am suspecting marketing people everywhere are counting on, “I never noticed that before.” So, does it really matter that we are getting ripped off and extra 37 cents when in reality they are making astronomical profits either way? Shouldn’t things cost less in bulk? I am sure that our grocery stores and checkout aisles are filled with examples of ways in which we are blatantly ripped off, but like most consumers I’m too busy buying to bother checking exactly what I’m paying for. It may only be 30 cents but it’s also the principle. I’ll stick to the three pack and share ‘em the old fashioned way.

Corrie, as the bulldozer cab stood six thing. It turns out that the bullfeet off the ground. Israeli officials dozer in Rafah had been searching issued a statement declaring the inci- for tunnels used to transport exdent a “tragic event that should never plosives from Egypt into the terrorist dens that have happened.” riddle the area. But the onslaught of media It’s understandable And less than a week after coverage that folthat the Corries Rachel’s death, lowed told a much Israeli tanks ardifferent story. want to give rested two Typical of its conmeaning to their Hamas members tinued vilification of Israel, the Westdaughter’s death, there. What her parern media porbut making her a ents did mention, trayed Corrie’s was that death as a ruthless, martyr for a political however, their daughter exintentional murcause does justice panded her studder. Rachel Corrie ies on the Middle suddenly became a to no one. East by “reading martyr for the PalWeb sites.” Apestinian cause — her death a seized opportunity to parently, Google has become a onestop shop for credible information. demonize the state of Israel. Emotional appeals like that of the On January 26, Cindy and Craig Corrie — Rachel’s parents — deliv- Corries’ are highly effective, as the SFPR ered a talk at UW, sponsored by the is well aware. Emotions can easily Students For Palestinian Rights defeat logic and suppress skepticism. (SFPR). Like anyone would expect, So yes, anyone with a heart will grieve they still suffer with grief over the loss for the Corries; but anyone with a of their child. So perhaps they take conscience would be morally conflicted, comfort in furthering their daughter’s where feelings of sorrow mix with political cause by touring universities feelings of contempt over the politically charged glorification of a young and making speeches about her. It was in this context that the woman’s death. My point here is not to undermine Corries concealed bitter accusations about Israel within heartfelt recollec- this tragedy; it is, rather, to remind tions of their daughter. They pro- students that they should be wary of ceeded to fuzz the details about her everything they hear, no matter how death: there were two bulldozer op- sad or evocative. It’s understandable erators, they said; Rachel was visible at that the Corries want to give meaning eye level, they said; the bulldozer accel- to their daughter’s death, but making erated toward her, they said. But it was her a martyr for a political cause does all conjecture — none of it proven, justice to no one. The Corries are still none of it true. Still, audience mem- grieving, but to label Rachel’s death a bers looked and listened with fur- murder without conclusive evidence, and to exploit her death in order to rowed brows. The Corries went on to describe denigrate another country, is morally their daughter as “idealistic,” but reprehensible. failed to mention that idealism without wisdom can be a dangerous lbreslin@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Web Editor, Matt Lee Web Assistant, Hitoshi Murkami Systems Administrator, Ross Jordan Systems Assistant, Matthew Cheung Lead Proofreader, Dean Whelton Proofreader, Jonathan Chiu Proofreader, Kristina Jarvis Proofreader, Simon Yarrow Proofreader, vacant Office Staff General manager, Catherine Bolger cathy.bolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & production manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising assistant, vacant Distribution, Hitoshi Murakami Distribution, Kristina Jarvis Volunteer co-ordinator, vacant

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Imprint opinion

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Letters

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Policy injustices at the PAC To the editor, Taking dancing lessons with my boyfriend has been one of my dreams but I never thought he’d go for it. So when HE suggested it, I hurried to the PAC to sign us up for Beginner Social Dance, a class that requires you to sign up with a partner. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is not a UW student and the PAC manager told me that he could not sign up for a class without first purchasing a $125/term membership to the PAC facilities! My boyfriend is a member of an outside gym and he does not need another recreation centre membership, so I explained that he just wanted to take this one class at UW. I was informed that the reason the PAC has this ‘outsiders’ policy is so that it can preserve the PAC facilities and classes for UW students. I think that this policy is a great idea, as it prevents random community members from using our already busy facilities. I suggested they should adjust the policy for classes like social dance that require you to enrol with a partner. Most people don’t want to take social dance with someone who isn’t their significant other. My boyfriend and I wanted to sign up for the class so that we could take it together for fun. I did offer the manager some suggestions for changing the policy. The existing policy is good, but they should allow an exception for classes that require students to sign up with a partner. They should state that one of the partners needs to be a UW student and pay the regular rate (in this case $36), while the non-UW student pay $56. This way it still deters ‘outsiders’ without limiting UW students’ choices. — Erin Klein-Horsman 3A Social Development Studies Sexy is good To the editor, Luckily the University of Waterloo has a school of professional and dedicated optometrists that can help me out after reading the letter “Feds sexy clichĂŠâ€? (Jan. 23). I can’t stop rolling my eyes

l letters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca at its point. The Feds are attacked for their use of sex in advertising. Apparently since “students at the University of Waterloo paying a substantial amount to the Feds each term,� advertising that may offend someone should not be used; like Feds is somehow obliged to answer to us for their use of what is widely regarded as the most effective form of advertising. There are two areas of contention in the letter. First, if the issue is how our Feds dollars are being spent, I am glad they had the sense to use the most effective means possible; a genuine grievance could be made were they not using effective advertising. The other issue is that “this type of advertising is highly inappropriate and shocking in any form.� I too saw the ad in question and did not find it highly inappropriate and shocking. It sets a dangerous precedent when the sour grapes of a small minority of people can dictate any sort of policy. It is this attitude that progressive Western society has been trying to do away with for the past few decades, the attitude that the body is something that needs to be covered up, concealed. This sort of regressive thinking needs to be debated, shown to be flawed and checked at every opportunity. — Stefan Ludin 1B Honours Science Tax my fat ass To the editor, I am writing this to express my opposition to the position taken by Mike Kerrigan in his eloquently titled piece "Fat Tax-My Ass." While Mr. Kerrigan is indeed right in his assertion that there are a variety of healthy diets and lifestyles that exist, the fact is that obesity and heart disease are serious problems in the Western world and there are mountains of evidence correlating these and other health problems with the sheer quantity of fatty foods that are consumed by our modern capitalist societies. A tax on fatty and other unhealthy foods would serve well to represent the true cost of eating these foods in terms of the costs of caring for patients with heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other

maladies associated with a poor diet and would also help serve as a deterrent by encouraging people to substitute away from unhealthy foods towards healthier alternatives. The question of which foods are unhealthy and which healthy is a debate best left to nutritionists, but economically the idea of a 'fat tax' is sound. — Nik Sydor 1B economics Hope for peace To the editor, Our campus occasionally heats up because of events in the Middle East. In my view, it is really important that all such debate be informed and civilized. I am sure that the Israelis and Arabs on campus are united as colleagues and share a desire to find a peaceful solution to the conflicts in the region. However, we do have our differences in opinion and heritage. These differences shouldn’t become hatred. — Sasha Gutfraind 4B Applied Math

Write to Imprint All letters must include a phone number for verification, and should not exceed 300 words. Letters should include the author’s name, year, and program, or faculty position where applicable. All material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity. The opinions expressed are strictly those of the authors, not the opinions of Imprint.

Co-op — not to be confused with cooperation Scot Nyback SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

My name is Scot and I’m a regular student. Everyone knows that this is the first step to getting rid of any problem: admitting it. Only after you admit the problem do you have any chance of getting rid of it. Wait a minute! Being a regular student isn’t a problem! I enjoy being regular. There’s no extra “classâ€? every term to get resumĂŠs out in time, I don’t have those messy work reports to do and most importantly, I’ll be able to get my undergraduate degree a

year earlier, which will allow me to continue on in my graduate studies that much sooner. So why is the University of Waterloo administration trying to get me to believe that I, along with all the other regular students, am not as good as the co-op students? The recent directive stemming from UW administration trickles down to all entities seeking to hire any workers in the Waterloo area. They must hire co-op students, no ifs, ands or buts about it. The motivation behind this directive is completely understandable (the students to jobs ratio needs improving); however, its implementation is far from being fair. It leaves regular students with a zero per cent chance of obtaining a job in Waterloo. Now I’m not going to be so arro-

gant as to say that I’m the best person out there for every job I would apply for, but it’s a statistical fact that I would be better than some people for some jobs and it’s likely that I would be the best person for at least one job out there. That employer will never even know who I am. I’m not allowed to apply for this job. Instead the employer must hire someone else who would not be as effective in the position simply because of those four letters on his resumÊ. There’s a job shortage, I get it. I’m not trying to swoop in and steal all the jobs for myself. All I’m asking for is the chance to apply for the jobs I think I would do well at and let the employer decide who would be the best person for the job. Is that really so much to ask?

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

9

There’s never any rest for the wicked Last Tuesday’s snow day was a chance for UW students to catch up on their sleep‌ but why bother?

Mark Stratford BIG EARS BURNING It figures. All I have to do is talk smack about something in my column and poof, something happens to make me second-guess myself. Case in point: I bitched about the weather, then I caught a cold. And on Tuesday, just as I was absolutely exhausted and ready to stagger off to another school day‌ we were treated to a glorious snow day that closed both UW and WLU campuses. What a golden opportunity to sleep off my illness without guilt. (True, winter was responsible for giving me the cold in the first place, but why mess yourself up with logic?)

Yet as I come down off my magnificent Dimetapp high, I am forced to confront my latest pet peeve — sleep. I hate it. Well, that’s not true — I can nest in bed for hours with the best of ‘em. (Hmmm, that could be taken a number of ways, couldn’t it?) It’s more like I resent having to sleep. Everyone says that you should be reckless and take chances and live your life to the fullest. How exactly do you achieve this when you have to stop and go unconscious for one-third of every day? I wish I could live in a state of constant unrest, going from one task to another and doing it at my own pace. (And if I do a half-assed job, who cares? I’ve got time to fix it — I don’t sleep!) Most of all, I’d love to jog off a hangover. But it’ll never happen. Trust me — I’m not trying that shit. As a university student, I find sleep to alternately be my best friend and my scuzziest nemesis. It’s the root of my

Premier liar Mike Kerrigan SOBER THOUGHTS Lately I’ve been running into a lot of disaffected Liberals who are upset at the first hundred days of Dalton McGuinty’s term of office. A few of them have even reconsidered their political alignment and are interested in joining up with the Ontario P.C. Party. I’m not particularly surprised; after enough broken promises you have to come to realize that the party you were supporting was basing their commitments on pure political expediency, never intending to actually live up to them after the election. Immediately after taking office Dalton had to find a way of backtracking on the vast array of commitments he made during his election campaign. He claimed during the election that there was a $2 billion hidden deficit that he could eliminate by cancelling previously announced tax cuts and reducing spending in certain areas — fair enough. But as soon as he took office he hired a Liberal friendly auditor who inflated that deficit to $5.6 billion by lowering economic growth projections, ignoring $800 million in salary reductions and another almost $800 million in Federal government transfers and tinkering in a few other areas. With this newfound deficit problem, he gave himself a free hand to break all his promises while claiming that the previous conservative government was entirely to blame. To be honest, I’m quite happy with some of the commitments Dalton’s reneged on. The hydro rate cap that he eliminated was bad government policy, so I’m not perturbed

biggest dilemma: we need it so much, but the more you need it, the older you feel. I am 22 years old, but I have the capacity to feel anywhere between eight and 85 on a given day; as I approach

The first time I took a nap in my frosh year I awoke and got freaked out. graduation, it’s usually the latter. And all those projects and essays and late nights spent selling some of the best pornography the Kitchener-Waterloo region has ever seen — Sheer Fancy Adults Video at 285 Weber Street North and say that Mark sent you — don’t exactly help, since they frequently

IN SEARCH OF

that he broke his promise to keep it in place. Even the Green Party managed to separate their environmental goals from their socialist tendencies for long enough to recognize that a market-based electricity rate is the best way to help encourage conservation. Similarly, his plan to cap classroom sizes at 20 students was entirely based on its popularity with voters and would more likely harm than help students. There is a weak correlation between classroom size and student performance at best, so spending money in a mass hiring spree to meet the cap would simply waste money in the education system. Even worse, to hire a large number of teachers quickly standards would have to be lowered, decreasing the quality of teaching in the classrooms — something much more strongly correlated with student achievement. To his supporters, some of the worst promises he broke were his commitment to cancel the hospitals being built through public-private partnerships and to halt development of the Oak Ridges Moraine. In both cases he claimed that his hands were tied because the Tories had stuck him with unbreakable contracts. However, these contracts were in place and open to be reviewed before he promised he’d cancel them. He outright lied to Ontarians and to his party when he claimed he could change them. To those who supported the Liberals because they thought the party stood for similar ideals, Dalton’s actions have been a shock. Unfortunately, the larger, driving force within the party is those supporters who believe solely in the principle of power and to whom no mistruth is too large if it improves the party’s standings in the polls. mkerrigan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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cause me to lounge in bed until late afternoon. It’s bad enough taking naps between classes. Senior citizens take naps. The first time I took a nap in my frosh year I awoke and immediately got freaked out. Are my teeth in a freakin’ cup by the bed? I’m young, I shouldn’t be burdened with this. Like Frank Zappa said, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.� Or did Marilyn Manson say that? Maybe it was Eartha Kitt. I can’t keep track. Famous people are always saying goofy things. As we enter the work force, the problem continues, so much so that a study conducted months ago in the States discovered that work-related tensions and anxieties can run so rampant in certain environments that a management-designated naptime is not a bad idea. It was proven to minimize stress and help the employees accomplish more in the afternoon; instead of winding down, their productivity continued to soar. This may be the most depressing thing I have ever heard in my life. No one wants to grow old, but few things could be as pathetic as making a daily

habit of resting your head against a cubicle wall and harkening back to the kindergarten classes of yesteryear. I feel old enough already at 22, spending my days off waking from a deep stupor just to see what’s on the Game Show Network. Do I actually have years and years of chasing after lost rest to look forward to? Fuck sleep, now and forever. I realize it’s winter and we all need to keep warm, but there are so many better reasons to stay in bed — you’ve fallen ill, you’ve taken a lover or, perhaps best of all, you’ve become one of those fascinating 900-pound disabled people you see on Maury Povich who consider getting out of bed too big a chore to perform anymore. (You know, the kind of guy so ungroomed that he has actually found a way to braid his sideburns.) With all due respect to UW, here’s hoping for another delightful snow day soon, to be spent at home in bed with an ice cream sundae. Dimetapp topping recommended. mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Gabe Kempe

Imprint opinion

10

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

The 100 club march Arda Ocal OUR HOUSE I did something crazy last week during clubs day: I signed up to every club on campus. Well, every club that had a display in the SLC, anyway. It certainly did garner the odd look or two from the people sitting behind the tables, but I decided to break the ice and sign up to every e-mail list I could — even the culture clubs I have no affiliation with (and really, who cares anyway? They certainly don’t). A few hours later, the e-mails started pouring in (luckily, I gave the clubs a new email account). Just imagine your inbox being flooded with invitations to meetings, social events, Yahoo! forums, whatever

There must be some way to gather else you can think of. It really put everything into per- up every event happening through spective: there are over 90 clubs on the clubs and promote them to the campus (and to break any stere- student population (without you otypes, just below 40 per cent of having to sign up to every club). them are culture-oriented clubs — Maybe have little announcements at least 45 clubs aren’t). Let’s say that on the bottom of certain days in our Student Handeach club holds book (agenda). one major and Or allow clubs one minor event All I know is that one discounted per term. That per term of means that there there are students use the poster runs to can be around 200 out there who advertise their events that many marquee event. in the general stumight be missing But, with the dent population the best times large number of would not know the agenda about and might they’ve ever spent clubs, initiative sudjust be interested denly seems imin. As well, beon campus. possible, and we cause we students certainly know of are busy (and lazy, people putting yes admit it), we won’t go searching for something up posters without Feds approval, unless it’s in our face or within arms taking up prime wall space, so this reach (or unless we’re getting marked might not prove effective. Is there a better way? for it).

There are talks in the Feds office about finishing a section on the Feds Web site dedicated to clubs events; where executives could log in and post their events for all to see. It could work because it certainly is within arm’s reach (rather, a mouse-click away). But it would have to be comprehensive: every club executive would have to spare some time to log in and post a short yet appealing description of their upcoming “party of the year.� If that cooperation is reached, we might just have something good on our hands. Could it happen? I think so. Would it be successful? We’ll see. All I know is that there are students out there who might be missing the best times they’ve ever spent on campus because of missing events they never knew about. Until we find a better way, I’ll take the extra ten minutes to sort through my inbox and keep myself informed of campus events. aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

It=s a thing called monogamy, back off! Michelle Titus TOUCHED This past weekend I celebrated my six month anniversary with my boy (yes, it is true, I am committed) during which I realized how much of a copout monogamy has become in our society. Whether or not someone is in a committed relationship does not seem to be a factor in the minds of many; something that both sickens and frustrates me greatly. It all began Thursday night when I was hanging out with my cousin in her Toronto apartment. We were sipping wine and chatting as the television droned in the background when our attention was drawn to the glowing media device.

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It was spouting a commercial for a company with which we both were minutely familiar: B Ashley Madison. This Web-based service aims to assist “when monogamy becomes monotony.� Being on at a late hour and given the ad’s length, it could be slotted into the infomercial variety. But the most interesting thing about this particular viewing was its approach. Instead of saying “cheating is good, variety is great, monogamy sucks and is so boring� it consisted of interviews with people who mostly disagreed with the service. Obviously reverse psychology was the device chosen to gain acceptance. Merely the existence of such a service is enough to make my stomach churn. Thinking that people are benefiting financially due to the inability of some to stay faithful is ludicrous. The night tapered off with more relationship talk and society’s role in them. Little did I know this lack of respect for monogamy would extend beyond

TV. I experienced first hand (thanks to two very rude girls) that commitment has absolutely no bearing when one is attracted to another. First, a girl called Saturday at nine and to her surprise I answered the phone. It was apparent that I had put a crook in her plan as her voice wavered uncontrollably. In the middle of cooking me dinner, my boy made clear his girl was there as this chica tried to save face and make small talk. Later, at the bar, came another gal with fast-hands whose face turned bright red when my arm was tugged and I was brought into view and introduced. What made these situations ever more humorous is that both were aware of my existence (something that was not a concern) and that they both made asses out of themselves. Lack of respect for monogamy is by no means a female inclusive act. Guys exhibit similar treatments as well. My personal favourite is a reaction to my couple-dom with “Well,

Dan Kim GUEST COMIC

he’s not here now, is he?!� This goes along with the typical area code or postal code rules (for those of you unfamiliar with these, if your mate is in a different codal area then it’s not cheating). There are even some who get grabby when the couple is sideby-side. Give me a fucking break! Monogamy isn’t something to be taken lightly and should not be complicated by pathetic people unable to grasp the concept of commitment. If you are single, get your own life rather than infringing on other people’s happiness. Jealousy does not sprout love. Try to be happy for those in relationships (no matter how hard) and rather than contributing to our society’s sad state of monogamy a la Ashley Madison fight against it. As the slogan put it “Back off, get your own sandwich!� (my favourite is the club). mtitus@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Alexander Gurevich

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Imprint opinion

11

Bug chasers – infecting yourself Sadly, some people choose to get HIV to relate better with their already ill significant other Aaron Cowan UNDEFEATED As my readers should recall, last week I wrote about the g0y phenomenon — a sexual revolution currently taking place in the gay community. After research on this topic I began to think about the ways in which we are often frightened by our individuality and in response to this fear, seek out a group to which we can belong. Out of this argument, it was my con-

BAR FLIES

tention that we should not judge others by the groups with which they associate, because I see group acceptance as a universal need in our society. This week I would like to elaborate on this topic of group acceptance in the form of Bug Chasers, another small but very real group within the gay community. A few days ago I was sitting at my desk, enjoying a much-needed snow day as I watched the John Walsh Show. Innocently checking my email, I wasn’t paying much attention until I overheard Mr.Walsh use the terms “HIV” and “bug chasing” in the same sentence. That’s when my attention turned from my computer to the television set. Mr.Walsh was interviewing Doug Hitzel, a 21 year-old gay man, currently infected with

HIV. Feeling unable to imagine what it must be like for Doug to live with the virus, I was further baffled to learn that his infection was by choice. You see, when Doug was 19 he felt isolated by both the gay community and society at large and in turn sought to contract HIV in hopes of fitting in. Unfortunately, Doug was successful. In his quest to contract the virus, he became a legend in the gay community where he lived. Gay men invited him to parties because he was the guy who wouldn’t wear a condom. At this point my readers might ask why Doug would have done something so stupid and irresponsible. Well you see, Mr.Hitzel maintains that at the time he was under the impression that HIV was “no big deal.” You could pop a few pills, see a few doctors and probably end up living another 20 or 30 years. It was this single, but major, incorrect assumption that has impacted his life in a way that he could have

never imagined. Of course now Doug regrets his decision to purposely contract the virus, but for him it is too late. Today he feels more alone than ever. Then there is the case of Brian, who infected himself with HIV in hopes that his partner (who was HIV-positive himself) would love him more. It was Brian’s hope that if he were infected, he and his partner would be able to relate on a much deeper level. John Walsh also introduced the audience to a man known only as “Phil.” “Phil” spends much of his free time on the internet in a place where HIV and AIDS are glorified almost as a sexual fetish. For years “Phil” has sought to infect himself with HIV, even injecting himself with infected blood, but still remains negative to this day. As tragic as these stories seem to me, what I find far more tragic is the fact that there are people out there who’s self-esteem is so low that they must resort to self-infection with a deadly virus to feel accepted by their community. Last week, when I wrote about g0ys, I commented that we should keep an open mind to newly formed groups because feeling isolated and alone is something to which we can all relate. However, the fact that men are exposing themselves to a long and painful existence in exchange for acceptance scares me beyond belief. Group acceptance is important, but when it compromises individual well being, it just isn’t worth it. Let’s strive to accept ourselves, then each other.

Ian Blechschmidt

acowan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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FEATURES 12

Imprint features

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Send a crane to Japan!

—page 14

features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

“The Harem” open for one night only Heramb shares his ideas of clubbing and lesbian German gym teachers Heramb Ramachandran IMPRINT STAFF

The art of clubbing requires practice and patience. Most people fail miserably. The few who succeed get laid. Generally it’s the stereotypes that score. The big burly individual with strong pectoral development grabs the eye of the scantily clad wench. And if it’s a heterosexual club, these “winners” may copulate and create kids who pull down literacy averages. I have pondered my experience over the years about da club and would like to disseminate to you, young readers, my stories. I’m too lazy, so it’ll be just one story. The absolute shittiest experience occurs when you go on some chick’s birthday with her girl and guy friends. If the members of the group are firm believers in moderate alcohol consumption, damn it’s gonna be a long night. Without adequate booze, what the fudge

do you do at a club? Listen to craptastic music? Admire the DJ’s nimble fingers? Make fun of the people more sober than you? All these hypothetical questions lead to one simple answer —you do nothing! You stand around like a moron. Hell, at least morons can play with their zippers. Bring on the tequila shot! Right, so after one of these suckers and only one, on account of the moderate alcohol consumption as dictated by the party poopers, some tension is alleviated. All right, let’s make our way to the dance floor. Picture this scene: you’ve got seven people, very mildly buzzed, standing in the middle of the dance floor and swiveling their hips to euro-trash techno. The chicks are holding their purses while the guys are holding their beers. After a tequila shot, the girls need a one-hour recuperation period. In my case, I’m usually the only brown guy in the group. So when the DJ starts playing

Punjabi MC, all of my Caucasian friends stare at me. They expect me to do something Indianish. Naturally I desi-dance. That’s when you flail your fingers up in the air like a freak and wiggle them. Apparently my ancestors invented this finger-wiggle dance and it has caught on with today’s brown youth. If there is some space on the dance floor, the worst possible thing happens. We form a circle. The dreaded jerk circle! We all stand in a circle for some abstract reason. I guess it’s to brainstorm new and more riveting dance moves. A circle allows for reasoned discussion where every participant can throw his or her suggestions into a hat. In other words, grinding becomes an impossibility. I can’t just turn to the person beside me because then we are not all facing each other in the circle and that is bad according to circle etiquette. However, the token gay guy spells instant relief. The girls will dance hornily with (a) other

chicks or (b) a gay guy. Apparently dancing with a gay guy appeases a girl’s desire to dance, which at the same time is not construed as flirtation. Who the hell do I hornily dance with? A woman of the bush? That shit should work both ways! As an aside, one day at Bomber, my crazy drunk Scandinavian buddy grinded with a lesbian. Her companion, who happened to be an East German female gym teacher, took umbrage with their pelvic thrusting and stepped in between them. Before you can say, “PleaseGod-tell-me-he-didn’t-grind-with-the-EastGerman-female-gym-teacher”, he grinded with the East German female gym teacher. But alas, this night of “jubilation” will eventually end and all birthday party members must go their separate ways. So in conclusion, the clubbing experience consists of standing around, forming a jerk circle, the odd fingerwiggle to brown music and watching chicks dance with gay guys. Who’s kidding who, I love Punjabi MC! hramachandran@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Become the nacho god with these two recipes Good eats for the Super Bowl or during a movie

Sarah Allmendinger IMPRINT STAFF

So you have a group of people coming to your house to watch the most important football game of the year. You know that they will come with empty bellies but you have absolutely no clue what to feed these ravenous guests. Sure you could just easily order pizza and leave it at that. No one can complain about pizza but no one will rant and rave about it either. So what if you step out of your usual mould? Why not try something different? Something that will be talked about every time the Super Bowl gets mentioned? Why not try making the best nachos known to mankind, with the best guacamole known to mankind? Here’s how you can become the nacho god! Nacho Delight

1 package of ground beef (the amount is up to you) 1 can of refried beans 1 can of tomato sauce 1/2 cup chopped bell green pepper 1/2 cup chopped onion 1 envelope of taco seasoning grated cheddar cheese (the amount is up to you) plain tortilla chips casserole dish bowl

Heat oven to 350°. Cook ground beef in a large saucepan or dutch oven. Add all ingredients but the cheddar cheese and chips to the pot and simmer for 10 to 12 minutes. While it is simmering, pour the chips into a casserole dish. Spread hot mixture over the chips; sprinkle grated cheddar cheese on top and put in the oven for 20 minutes or until cheese is melted and browned. Nacho delight recipe serves four hungry football fans. Vegetable Guacamole

2 ripe avocados juice of one grapefruit juice of one lime 1/2 sm shallot or 1 green onion 3 sprigs parsley, coarsely chopped 3 sprigs cilantro 1 large, tomato coarsely chopped 1 tb fresh minced basil 1 tb fresh minced thyme Peel and quarter avocados, reserving pits. Coarsely mash avocado with a fork in a nonmetallic bowl. Set aside any that might be too hard to mash easily. Pour grapefruit and lime juice into blender. Add shallot and two sprigs each of parsley and cilantro. Blend on high until liquified. Add blended mixture to mashed avocado and mix gently. Add remaining vegetables, basil and thyme. Stir well. Garnish with reserved cilantro and parsley. If not serving immediately, place in a small bowl with avocado pits, cover and refrigerate. The avocado pits keep the mixture from turning brown. sallmen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

See page 14 to make your very own Imprint crane.

JULIAN APONG

Folding for peace Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF

Every year, students and staff at UW band together to partake in a mass folding of paper cranes. The cranes, a symbol of longevity and vitality in Chinese and Japanese lore, are folded to remember the life of Sadako Sasaki and all other children lost to war. Sadako was a young girl in Hiroshima when the two bombs were dropped. At the time, she was only two years old. Sadako survived the blasts only to be told, ten years later, that she had leukemia. At the young age of 12, she was told that she would soon die. Remembering an old folk tale, Sadako began folding a thousand cranes to get her wish and be cured. Different versions of the story tell different endings, however, in all versions, Sadako Sasaki passes away from leukemia. Following her tragic death, people close to Sadako gathered money and build a monument in Hiroshima’s Peace Memorial Park. The monument features a figure of Sadako

holding a crane above her head, a tribute to all children who are victims of war. Each year on August 6th, (the anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing), people worldwide send thousands of cranes to decorate the monument. They send these cranes with a common wish for peace and for remembrance of all children hurt by war. Konnichiwa Japan club started the Yume project at University of Waterloo three years ago. They are a non-profit effort funded by both inside and outside corporations including the Federation of Students, Sweet Dreams Teashop and Green Monkey Street Wear. Yume project takes over the SLC on Tuesday, February 3rd. They will be providing origami lessons, storytelling, movies and displays. The event goes all day, from 9:30 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. See page 14 for instructions on making your own paper crane and a colour cut-out that you can fold and contribute to the Yume project. talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint features

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

13

Alternatives in need Julie Diener IMPRINT INTERN

Oddly enough, the more problems we hear about our environment today, the less we seem to want to hear about them. Two prevailing views in our society are that either our situation is hopeless or that our problems will simply work themselves out. Both lead to widespread apathy. This social context makes it difficult for environmental activism to accomplish much. Rob Gibson and all the other writers, reviewers, staff, co-editors and volunteers at Alternatives Journal, disagree. Today they busily work to support Canada’s last remaining environmental journal with a mandate to “link the work of activists, academics and professionals and to cover both ecological and social justice issues.� “What’s unique about Alternatives is that it is Canadian,� said Gibson, chairman of the editorial board. There are lots of American publications that address health and the environment, so “having a particular Canadian voice is part of what we’re trying to preserve here.� Gibson also explains the focus of Alternatives is not to view the environment in a narrow sense, connoting “little bunnies and endangered species,� but to broadly define it to include health, questions of equity, resource use, employment, water safety — anything that links people and the environment. But facing yet more budget cutbacks, the journal, which has been in financial peril since its move to UW campus in 1984, may not survive. The current problem is not so

much that Alternatives is losing money, but that it has built up a deficit over the years. The journal acknowledges the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Magazine Fund of the Department of Heritage and that of the Publications Assistance Program (PAP). Any additional funding from charitable organizations and research centres, however, is sporadic. “Foundations like to fund specific projects and particular issues‌on topics like energy or smart growth,â€? explains Gibson, rather than funding the journal itself. The amount of support thus changes from year to year. Alternatives is also limited in the number of sources from which it can accept funding. To illustrate, Gibson, also associate professor of Environment and Resource Studies at UW, said, “we couldn’t be funded by the sports utility vehicle industry. Our message is one of sustainability, so that would undermine our credibility pretty quickly.â€? Besides the revenue generated by royalties — from stories borrowed or reproduced in course texts and other publications — and by individual copies sold at newsstands in Canada and the U.S., subscribers obviously play a key role in supporting Alternatives. There are presently 2,000 subscriptions to the journal, but as part of a major rejuvenation campaign, the Alternatives board aims for an increase to 10,000. The lively redesign for 2004 will entail going bi-monthly instead of just quarterly, which will mean six issues a year instead of only four. This

will allow for coverage of a greater diversity of topics. It will also get more issues into people’s hands each year, so that environmental topics are not forgotten so easily. “We must also increase our national profile to reach more readers. For this we need help,� says Gibson. Subscribe. If you are not already a subscriber, you can register for a subscription by visiting their Web site at www.alternativesjournal.ca. Donate. Alternatives is a registered charity. While the board is “currently working on a business plan that will eventually place less reliance on donations, donations will still play an important role during this transition year,� says Gibson. Spread the word. Forward your favourite Alternatives articles to people who should be reading them. The Keep Alternatives campaign team is also asking students, activists, academics, organizations and professionals who feel strongly about Alternatives and its role in Canadian environmental issues, to write letters of support for the journal. These can be addressed to the editor and e-mailed to keepalternatives@hotmail.com. “If Alternatives is to survive, we must build a big enough base of subscribers and other financial support to be self-sustaining,� said Gibson. Alternatives is looking forward to becoming Canada’s self-sustained environmental journal, but cannot easily do so without your help. Regular updates on the journal’s welfare are also posted online, at www.alternativesjournal.ca.

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Schnitzel and other great food Kourtney Short RESTAURANT REVIEW Metro Restaurant 164 Victoria St. North Kitchener 885-3022 “I can’t believe I ate that much,� I groaned as we walked out of the restaurant. My bill was roughly $15 (including a half pint of beer). I had ordered from the light menu and I had a takeout box in my hand, so I was surprised to have achieved this state of stuffed-to-the-gills fullness. I could reach only one conclusion: Metro doesn’t know the meaning of light. After a long wait in the cramped entrance — despite having a reservation for 6:30 p.m., our table wasn’t ready until 7 p.m. — we were seated in one of three separate dining rooms. Our position next to the washroom proved advantageous — we got to watch several people

dressed in punk, complete with Mohawks and studded leather pass by. We mulled over the re-emergence of punk until our food arrived. The menu devotes an entire page to variations on the schnitzel theme, all in the $11 to $15 range. The default is pork, but you can substitute chicken for $2 extra. You can choose plain schnitzel, which consists of the meat of your choice, (pounded, breaded and fried) schnitzel smothered in sauce, or a stuffed schnitzel. Two of my companions chose the third option, one choosing schnitzel cordon bleu (stuffed with ham and Swiss cheese), the other choosing schnitzel stuffed with garlic butter. The schnitzel with garlic butter was excellent, its filling bathing the pork with moisture and flavour. Schnitzel meals come with soup or salad, garlic bread, choice of potato and choiceofvegetable.Everyonechosecaesar salad, which consisted of romaine lettuce coated in too much bottled salad dressing. Real bacon bits redeemed it somewhat. Fries were also ho-hum — better to choose the buttery mashed potatoes or crispy home fries. Vegetable options were heavy on the cabbage — sauerkraut, coleslaw and braised red cabbage were on the list. The

most popular item turned out to be a non-vegetable applesauce. I had the braised red cabbage, which was slightly sweet and tangy. My five companions all chose schnitzel combos, which pair one piece of any type of schnitzel with other menu items, such as cabbage rolls or some pierogies. The pierogies were crispy from deep frying and quite cheesy — unlike most pierogies, there seemed to be more cottage cheese than potato in the filling. I had the cabbage rolls ($8.75) — two large, meaty rolls smothered in mushroom gravy. I prefer the traditional tomato sauce over the mushroom gravy, which was rich and cloying. It did, however, go well with the mashed potatoes. Since these were a lighter item, they did not include soup or salad and garlic bread, but there was more than enough food nonetheless. Dessert items included crêpes and apple strudel, but given that five of the six of us took home leftovers, we didn’t get to try them. While I’m not sure Metro has the best schnitzel in town, as its sign claims, I’m sure I’ll return for lots of food at a great price. kshort@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

SUBJECT TO CLASSIFICATION

IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE JANUARY 30

Imprint features

14

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Make a crane! Diagram A

Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF

Cut out the paper to the right and make your very own Imprint crane to drop off in the SLC on February 3rd. For these instructions, use a square piece of paper. 1. Fold diagonally to form a triangle, crease sharply, unfold. 2. Fold diagonally in the opposite direction, crease sharply, unfold. 3. Fold paper over, in half, to form a rectangle, crease sharply, unfold. 4. Fold paper in half in the other direction, to form a rectangle, crease sharply, unfold. 5. Bring all four corners of the paper together to form a square, with all four corners at one end (see Diagram A). 6. Lift left flap to center line, creasing along a-b (see Diagram B). 7. Repeat above along a-c. 8. Fold point d (top flap) down along line b-c (see Diagram B), crease and unfold only all from 6, 7, 8.

Diagram B

Diagram C

Diagram D

9. Lift the bottom (point a) upwards, allowing the left and right flaps to collapse inwards as in Diagram C. 10. Flip paper over and repeat steps 6-9. 11. The bottom of the resulting kite-shape should be split down the middle. Bring the left and right flaps to the middle (Diagram D). 12. Repeat step 11 on the other side. 13. For the left side, put your forefinger between the two flaps. Press up with your thumb, turning the leg inside out and making it jut out on an angle. 14. Repeat step 13 for the right side. 15. Form the head in a similar manner (Diagram E) talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Diagram E

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ELECTION ‘04 FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

page 15

Election ‘04

15

2004 Feds campaigns sweep campus First public forum sees candidates establish footing as the annual election gets started Andrew Dilts and Bianca Tong IMPRINT STAFF

On the day that nominations closed, after a day off due to wintery conditions, candidates for the upcoming Feds election were put up against a panel of reporters from UW’s three main student media organizations. Representatives from Imprint, uwstudent.org and CKMS were on hand to fire questions at the possible future leaders of the Federation of Students. For the most part, candidates handled the questions well, although more than a few expectedly displayed beginning-of-election jitters. The Feds media forum, which started at 2

pm in the Bomber on Wednesday, January 28, featured all candidates running for the Feds executive positions, as well as those for students’ council and senate, answering questions ranging from the hard-hitting and thought-provoking, to the light-hearted and downright comical. VP internal candidates John Andersen and Brent Taylor started off the media round-table with some quick questions. Issues included the reasons each had for running, their positive and negative opinions about the performance of current VP internal, John Fedy and how each would handle a difficult high-tension situation. As openers to the forum, Andersen and Taylor seemed nervous at first, but later eased into the

question-and-answer format. Battling for head honcho of the Feds, presidential nominees Will Hamilton, Kevin Ma and Rebecca Wroe were next on the block. Candidates answered questions about their relevant personal experience, universal bus passes, how each would generate interest in student government and which one Feds business they would get rid of if they had to. Lightning rounds of quick-think questions were also posed to keep nominees on their toes. Other issues raised to presidential candidates dealt with corporate sponsorship, student housing and hypothetical student society scandals. The candidates were, for the most

part, well-spoken under the spotlight, although each displayed nervousness as would be expected on the first high-tension day of campaigning.. Raveel Afzaal and Andrew Clelland made up the third round of challengers, contending for the Feds’ VP admin and finance job - the position that oversees the management of Feds’ businesses, including the Bombshelter and Fed Hall. Each candidate was hit with questions concerning Bomber renovations, last year’s liquor licence fiasco and the influx of under-aged drinkers courtesy of the double cohort. see FORUM, page 18

campus.

Jeff Henry candidate, VP education Running mates: Rebecca Wroe (President) John Andersen (VP Internal) Ticket name: Team Yellow 1. Key platform points Accountability: Ensuring we are getting our money’s worth by becoming more involved with our representatives on the provincial and national scene. “As VP Education, I will consult student councillors and senators, as well as faculty societies, through students’ council and through the government affairs commission so that your representatives are informed and involved in where your money is being spent. I will continue to make the campaigns, such as “Invest in Access” from OUSA, visible on campus so you, the students, are involved in making your voice heard.” Awareness: Informing you about educational issues. “Education issues are rarely straightforward issues with simple answers. As VP education, I will involve you and your representatives on the direction of OUSA and CASA, so you can speak in favour of increased education funding and a student assistance program that makes sense.” Communication: Holding the administration accountable at all levels to ensure your voice is heard on any academic change. From minimum entrance average changes to mandatory courses on co-op terms to

enrolment and professor reductions in socalled “low demand” programs, there are a number of significant changes the administration has put on the table. I will work with faculty societies and student senators ... ensuring that your concerns are at the forefront. Communication with ... faculty society and senate representatives will be solidified.” Empowerment: Enumerating students for the federal election; providing unbiased information to facilitate an educated choice. “The federal election expected this spring is at least as important as any that took place this past fall. As VP education, I will ensure you have access to the unbiased information you need to make an informed choice no matter where you are on election day. From facilitating getting you on the voters list to accessible campus polling stations, I will do what is necessary for you to participate in the process.” 2. Relevant experience Engineering Society VP External 02/03; Engineering Student Societies’ Council of Ontario (ESSCO) president; member, Canadian Federation of Engineering Students (CFES) “Working with provincial and national associations, as well as with key allies, on the important issues facing students today on the university, provincial, and national scene is fundamental to any VP Education.” 3. Why run for Feds? “Once I got involved in working to better the experience of students in post-secondary education, I regretted not getting involved earlier. The Federation, and especially the position of VP Education, seemed the logical way to stay involved and continue doing good work for students while making the transition to the ‘real world.’” 4. Greatest strength “I believe that my ability to rationally weigh the arguments on both sides of an issue when making recommendations and taking actions is my greatest relevant strength. In matters of education, it is critical to be able to see both the students’ and the administration’s side of matters in order to have constructive communication and appropriate results.” 5. Greatest weakness “Without question it is my propensity to take on too many tasks at any one time. My ability to prioritize and to negotiate, however, will be essential in resolving these conflicts.”

2. Relevant Experience Feds councillor 03/04; executive assistant to the Feds VP education 03/04; Feds committee memberships, education advisory committee and internal administration committee; CASA delegate (2x) and OUSA delegate; co-op student service volunteer. Volunteer work for the faculty of arts; the International Student Office; and the Office for Persons with Disabilities. Former Pakistani Students Association executive member.

Muneeba Omar candidate, VP education Running mates: Kevin Ma (President) Raveel Afzaal (VP Admin/Finance) 1. Key Platform Points Fight tuition increases by lobbying for long-term full funding for universities. Improve academic services, like online course evaluations, mentorship programs, and special interest courses. Create co-op opportunities by revamping WatPubs, creating on-campus opportunities, and lobbying for a CECS review. Help international students by rejecting the ‘cash-cow culture,’ striking a Feds task force, and finding jobs off

3. Why run for Feds? “My strong interest in education drove me towards getting involved in students council and focusing on education-oriented issues. As I worked with Liam McHugh-Russell on numerous education issues, I have learnt how important it is to have accessibility, affordability and high quality in the field of post-secondary education. My day-to-day work on education issues, and the significance of these issues to students, is my inspiration for running for the post of vice-president education.” 4. Greatest strength “Undoubtedly, my greatest strength as it relates to the position at hand is my experience in the education portfolio and my active involvement in Feds. I know the duties and responsibilities of the position, and already have a thorough understanding of Feds as an organization.” 5. Greatest weakness “I have trouble saying no, and that causes me to take on too much responsibility, which in turn stresses me out and affects the quality of my work.”

DON’T FORGET TO VOTE! VOTING WILL TAKE PLACE

FEBRUARY 10-12 ON-LINE AT

WWW.FEDS.CA AND AT

POLLING STATIONS AROUND THE UW CAMPUS

Election ‘04

16

imperative that we implement coherent well thought out plans. Outside the box thinking and proactive measures to involving our constituents is key.”

arship for superb leadership (national); 2003 IEEE Larry K. Wilson Award for extraordinary accomplishments (international); chair of IEEE K/W section Graduate of the Last Decade (GOLD) Chapter, a young professional chapter that concerns the transition from university to work force; small business owner; former chair of UW IEEE student branch B; former VP of UW CSA; former VP of UW MSU; former VP of UW CCC; former editor of Phoenix arts journal. “Overall, I believe my diversified participation and experiences in various clubs over the past few years made me more prepared to take on the day to day duties of Feds president as well as enabled me to get closer to the students from different backgrounds and interest groups, in turn to better represent them at all scenarios.”

2. Relevant experience Arts Students Union president 2002-2003; Feds, councillor and director 2003-2004; Feds committee memberships: budget committee, structural budget committee, education advisory committee and the OUSA/CASA review committee; negotiating team for the “Bomber lawsuit;” Ontario Young Liberals — student director for university clubs. “I feel that these experiences tied to my institutional involvement are keys to success in the president’s position.”

Will Hamilton Presidential candidate Running mates: Brent Taylor (VP Internal) Andrew Clelland (VP Admin/Finance) Ticket name: Team THC 1. Key platform points “The key points in our campaign are visibility, accessibility and communication. Our platform combines passion tethered to practicality. I would like to talk about the marketing of Feds. It is key that we get out to the grassroots of our students who are unaware of what the Federation of Students does. I know that we have the capability to do so. Furthermore, we need to involve more of our members into Feds businesses, services and volunteering sections to not only sustain our current level of participation but to increase the involvement as well.” “We have the capability to be a larger, more interactive organization with students. From council reform to ‘THC Time,’ it is

3. Why run for Feds? “I am the best candidate for the job. This position is one that requires leadership, corporate knowledge and relevant experience within the top level of the organization. I am that candidate.” 4. Greatest strength “I get things done. I have a set of goals that I feel this organization needs to accomplish and I will get them done. Someone needs to stand up and lead this organization.” 5. Greatest weakness “I need a smart and active executive to get things done. There is no I in team, and I feel that by running with Brent and Andrew that I will be able to work effectively and efficiently. Their skills complement mine and vice versa. I see the executive not as a president and three VP’s but as four equal standing members actively pursuing the success of our organization. These people must have the ability to aid and interact with the others. Fluidity turns the wheels of our organization and without four capable individuals this will not happen. To make this happen we need people to get out and provide their opinions through voting. Constant interaction and the ability to make their views known is key.”

Running mates: Jeff Henry (VP Education) John Andersen (VP Internal) Ticket Name: Team Yellow 1. Key platform points Accountability: Ensuring FEDS activities are accessible to students. Communication is essential in and out of the Federation office. Attending Committee of Presidents meetings and keeping an updated log of my activities available on feds.ca is part of my plan to keep students informed.

Rebecca Wroe Presidential Candidate

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Kevin Ma Presidential candidate Running mates: Muneeba Omar (VP Education) Raveel Afzaal (VP Admin/Finance) 1. Key platform points Create opportunities for all students through student projects, networking and community services. Reach out to clubs, societies, and other campus groups to foster meaningful communication and real representation. House more students in high quality, reasonably priced accommodations by investigating Feds-operated properties. Provide direct support to clubs, commissions and services by expanding resources and simplifying bookings, funding.

3. Why run for Feds? I’ve always like to give back to the community where I’ve benefited from and I was doing that with different organizations on and off campus. In my last term here in UW, I’d really like to be officially involved with FEDS and make a change to bring more to the students than before as I had planned in my platform. 4. Greatest strength I believe my previous experiences in hosting large scale events, negotiating with external entities, and diversified participation in different student groups are my greatest strength relation to the position of president of Feds where I’ll ensure the operation of Feds as well as representing students in UW.

2. Relevant experience “I think a list will be the most effective way to illustrate my credentials.” 2003 IEEE Canadian Foundation Schol-

5. Greatest weakness “My greatest weakness would be that since I have devoted most of my time in the past few years outside of Feds serving students, indepth knowledge of Feds is something that I’ve yet to possess. However, the learning should not take long and it’s beneficial to have someone like me, from outside, to bring in some fresh new perspectives.”

student life. Working with both administrative services and FEDS businesses will allow the FEDS to determine where improvements can be made. Such opportunities include more student jobs and student security.

and an employee with the Federation of Students since 2001. My interest in the presidency position lies in my leadership experience. Through my work with the Feds I have come to realize that I would like to be more involved, this being the natural next step.

Continuity: Working with your representatives to set attainable goals on long-term projects. “Long-term projects, such as working with Grand River Transit to obtain an opt-in bus pass, must be carried on by each new executive member in order to attain these goals.”

Awareness: Providing objective information to empower students on their municipal issues. Housing and transportation are problematic in the area surrounding UW. The Feds representative should work with the City of Waterloo and the students to find solutions.

2. Relevant experience Science Society president 2003-2004; Science Federation Orientation Committee (FOC) 2002 and 2003; Student Services Trainer (Orientation Leader Training); Science Faculty Council member 2003-2004; Faculty of Science Foundation member 2003-2004.

Development: Promoting the opportunities that exist on and off campus to improve

3. Why run for Feds? I have been heavily involved as a volunteer

4. Greatest strength “As a student leader, I’ve worked with diverse groups of people, helped students develop leadership skills, organized successful events, and managed large budgets. I would consider my leadership abilities to be my greatest strength.” 5. Greatest weakness “Sometimes taking on many tasks at once puts me under stress. Currently, I am a fulltime student, Science Society President, and co-managing Aussies, the Federation convenience store. Although some may think one project at a time is enough, I function better under pressure.”

DON’T MISS THE NEXT FORUM!

Friday, January 30 - Renison Forum. Great Hall, Renison College. 11:30am. Monday, February 2 - MathSoc Forum. Math Comfy Lounge, MC 3rd floor. 5:30pm Tuesday, February 3 - AHS Forum. AHS Lounge, BMH. 12pm.

Wednesday, February 4 - Feds Forum. Great Hall, Student Life Centre. 1:00pm Wednesday, February 4 - Dinner Speeches. St’ Paul’s College cafeteria. 6:00pm Thursday, February 5 - ASU/ESS Forum. Arts Lecture Hall. 2:30pm

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ANDREW DILTS

Candidates, Feds elections committee volunteers and members of the UW student media listen to instructions at the early-morning all-candidates meeting in the Bombshelter Pub on January 28. Campaigning commenced immediately following the meeting, to the relief of those in turmoil from the previous day’s snow closures. this frequently our students will feel more inclined to approach their Feds representatives.”

Hall and the Brubaker’s cafeteria.” Communication: Facilitating the regular exchange of information between the Federation and its students in an easy and accessible manner. “Students often say they don’t get enough information out of the Federation of Students...what I would like to add to the other means of communication is a regular update made available on the Feds Web site detailing current activities.”

John Andersen candidate, VP Internal Running mates: Rebecca Wroe (President) Jeff Henry (VP Education) Ticket name: Team Yellow 1. Key platform points Recognition: Providing support to Feds volunteers through involvement and availability; recognizing the essential work of our volunteers. Awareness: Involving the student community through a well-developed network of services and resources. “Too often are students unaware of the resources available to them ... where we have the most room for improvement is in our online resources such as the Feds’ Web sites. By improving the access to information, students can learn more with less effort.” Continuity: Ensuring the development of ongoing, long-term projects through a smooth transition into office. “Examples of [long-term commitments] include Web site development, and the Feds TV program. The Feds TV is one of our longterm projects that still has the potential to offer better service to its students by developing the program in the SLC into such areas as the Great

2. Relevant experience Feds service co-ordinator (off-campus dons) 03/04; Federation Orientation Committee (FOC) member, off-campus dons ‘03; Student services trainer (orientation leader trainer); off-campus don 02/03; founding member of the Warrior Weekends Committee; Feds employee 2000-2004; frosh leader. “I’ve shown that I can manage volunteers, keep them motivated and interested in working for their fellow students.” Has “valuable insight into the concerns and opinions of students regarding a wide variety of issues ranging from housing concerns to community and social events to academic issues.” 3. Why run for Feds? “Working as a volunteer has always encouraged me to become more involved ... when I realized how much I would love to do this work, I realized that I had to run.” 4. Greatest strength “I have always loved working with people as I have found it a valuable opportunity to learn the opinions, suggestions and concerns from the perspectives of all students, not just my own. As a representative of all students under the Federation, the VP internal is responsible for the interests of students, and must represent them objectively.” 5. Greatest weakness “Some of the ways I would really like to improve the access to information for our students involve technical work on Web sites, and volunteer databases. I don’t have the technical skills required to implement these changes. To overcome this weakness, I will rely on my skills in recruiting volunteers to help with the development of my plans in improving the access to information.”

2. Relevant experience Village 1 don 03/04. “I have been a don in Village 1 for the past year. The experience of interacting with 60 other students and amalgamating their views and goals is key to this position. I think that by expanding this ‘Don’ ing view of the position is key. I want students to have fun while enjoying a safe and relaxed environment.”

Brent Taylor candidate, VP internal Running mates: Will Hamilton (President) Andrew Clelland (VP Admin/Finance) Ticket name: Team THC 1. Key platform points “The main planks of our platform are visibility, accessibility and communication.To evolve those concepts further, we want to appeal to the grassroots of our organization. This means that we, as the executive, need to be interacting with our fellow students. We will initiate a ‘THC TIME’ plan where everyday the executives head to some of the gathering points on our campus to drink coffee with our constituents. We’ll bring the coffee and cream; they’ll bring their ideas and concerns. By doing

3. Why run for Feds? “I feel many of the students on this campus feel like the university life is four years and a piece of paper. I would like them to experience the many opportunities that are available through the clubs and services. That way, they can go away with a piece of paper and the best four years of their life.” 4. Greatest strength “I excel in working under tight deadlines while dealing with people and committees. I enjoy the interaction, administration and planning involved in turning ideas into reality. Furthermore, I am a good communicator, from expressing my ideas and thoughts to listening to what others have to say. I feel that it is key for the VPIN to listen to our fellow students.” 5. Greatest weakness “Sometimes I feel the urge to cheer out loud. This causes concern during important meetings. The VPIN should be someone who is actively involved in campus life. This means from the clubs to the athletic teams to residence life. Without enthusiasm and interaction, this campus will be dull.”

Candidates‘ responses were submitted to Imprint to be released with the start of the official campaign period. The original questions are listed below. Some responses have been shortened from their original answers. 1. What are the key points in your platform? 2. What experience do you have, relevant to the position you are running for? 3. Why did you decide to run for a Federation of Students executive position? 4. What, in your words, is your greatest strength as it relates to the position at hand? 5. What is your greatest weakness, as it relates to the position?

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snacks and be available for discussions on what they feel needs to be done or is being done well.

ness proposal contests, direct email and increased work on student-directed deals 2. Relevant experience Theatre project administration;developed first on-line stock trading site in Pakistan; Pakistani Student Association executive; Fed Hall door staff; OUSA delegate. “I see that there are many opportunities where businesses can be improved, there are many good things [ that can be done].”

Communication: talking on a personal level to those we represent. Maintaining an open door policy, classroom visits the first week of school as well as keeping students updated through web pages or blogs. 2. Relevant experience Bombershelter Pub staff since 2001. Currently a student manager, experiences included: I wrote the report on how we can improve and renovate our current space, which was adopted by the Board of Directors for the Federation of Students.

Andrew Clelland candidate, VP Administration and Finance Running mates: Will Hamilton (President) Brent Taylor (VP Internal) Ticket name: Team THC 1. Key platform points Visibility: to help market the Feds to the students, we’re planning to throw a campuswide concert where we’d introduce the Feds exec and student councillors to the students that they represent. We would use this opportunity to illustrate what businesses and services we provide.

Accessibility: we’re starting small and setting aside some ‘THC time’ in every week where we’d sit and just talk to students over coffee or

3. Why run for Feds? “During my time at Bomber, I have seen the tremendous opportunities that Feds businesses provide for students. They provide a working environment that is compatible with students’ schedules while teaching responsibility and fostering leadership skills not typically available to students elsewhere. I feel that in running for Feds exec, this is the best way that I can contribute back to an organization that has provided me with so much.” 4. Greatest strength “I take pride in my work and I like to make sure that things are done to my high standard.” Using experiences within the organization as well as outside-the-box thinking. 5. Greatest weakness REV floor rep on first year, but otherwise “just a guy who is interested in serving students through well-run Feds businesses.”

Raveel Afzaal candidate, VP Administration and Finance Running mates: Kevin Ma (President) Muneeba Omar (VP Education) 1. Key platform points Make Fed Hall work by improving security, implementing winter shelter and draft a long-term feasibility report; Make finances clearer: institute bid processes for major financial expenditures, open budget meetings, developing a capital budget; Create new services such as an optional dental plan, free tax preparation advice, and Feds housing; Make our businesses better through busi-

3. Why run for Feds? “I saw there were things that were actually happening. During that time, student fees were going up and we were concerned about tuition going up. So many issues were comprehensively addressed that seemed practical and could be implemented. This, basically, motivated and inspired me. It’s why I got involved in student politics. “I want to give back to the community, it’s given me so much.” 4. Greatest strength “I feel that my biggest strength is my business background. I have been involved in several profitable projects. I administered/directed a festival, which was attended by over 4000 people. I coordinated a theatrical performance in which I was in charge of getting money from sponsors as well as all other financial matters. I helped administer the first online trading website project in Lahore, Pakistan for a Lahore stock exchange director.” 5. Greatest weakness “My biggest weakness in my view would be my lack of experience with the student body. I would try my level best to make up for this by putting in extra effort during the transition period to better acquaint myself with the issues that have been a cause of concern for the students.”

FORUM: elections heat up as candidates battle at the mic continued from pg 15

Tougher questions included whether each thought a money-losing business was worth keeping for its service and whether they valued businesses over communication with students. The last Feds executive position slated for

the media forum was that of VP education, but it quickly became a rapid discussion between candidate Jeff Henry and media interviewers. (The second VP education candiate, Muneeba Omar, was absent from the forum to write an exam.) Henry fielded inquiries on a range of issues from co-op, deregulation and his political affiliation (non-partisan), to his stance on

Feds’ memberships in student lobbying organizations OUSA/CASA, tuition fees and the value of accessibility versus quality of education. Rounding up the forum were the candidates running for positions on the students’ council and Senate. Five candidates for council (three for arts regular and two for science regu-

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lar) jumped up on stage to field questions from the media. For the most part, these budding student politicians handled themselves well. A full recording of the entire January 28 media forum is available on-line, at www.imprint.uwaterloo.ca. btong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 TTY: 1-866 -797-0007 Free access to registered nurses 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. www.HealthyOntario.com

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

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ARTS

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

UpStart festival

— page 22

arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

GRAPHIC BY MARGIE MANSELL

Gandalf vs. Ice Cube Heramb Ramachandran IMPRINT STAFF

Apparently The Lord of the Rings is making boatloads of cash. People say it’s the greatest trilogy ever filmed! Buuuuullshit. Basically, I thought the film was crappy and would like to point out particular scenes that sucked. Most of the suckage happens near the end. Then I will state my claim as to the greatest trilogy ever made. During the climactic scene near the end when the humans were surrounded by computergenerated images, I was hoping for that last end boss fight found in all fantasy/action movies. Perhaps Aragorn would challenge some ugly s.o.b. to a thumb war or something. As you can tell, I’m not a big fan of faithful literary adaptations. Anyway, nothing happened. There was a lot of huffing and puffing and then these monster mofos ran away when the ring was tossed. It was

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

like 10 billion to one! What kind of pussy army loses their morale when a ring gets tossed? As an aside, didn’t Middle Earth seem a little white to you? What the hell kinda racism is that? Are all the minorities stuck in Bottom Earth? Instead of a ring, do we get a bead bracelet? Seriously though, Middle Earth must have at least one Chinese restaurant owned by a Mr. Wong. Everybody likes Chinese food. Even in Saddam Hussein’s spider hole they found plum sauce. The last 20 minutes dragged on longer than a one-legged marathon. Ok wait, here’s another analogy: it was like after you beat off. The two seconds of palpable ecstasy dissipates to a sudden realization that the action is over. Your penis acknowledges this event by bowing down. Once the ring was tossed into the lava, this metaphorical softening of the schlong began for me. To compound the situation I had to pee around the two-hour mark. My kidneys were

about to pop like Mount Doom. A whole lotta syrupy, nausea filled scenes ensued. Instead of dissing each of them up, I will offer constructive suggestions. For example, near the end the four Hobbits were having a beer together in a happening joint and rejoicing in their exploits. I tuned out and dreamt up the following conversation: Hobbit 1: “Guys, the last 13 months have been fucked up.” Hobbit 2: “And all for some damn jewelry. We should have pawned it off and purchased some high quality smack from the WLU football team.” Hobbit 3: “Yo bros. For 13 months, we didn’t get laid! It was like one giant sausage fest every day! That elfin chick, what was her name? You know, Aerosmith’s daughter. We needed more of her on the team.” Hobbit 4: “You’re absolutely right. Fellas, let’s make a pledge. Before we graduate Hobbit school, let’s lose our virginity! Fatso can have the blonde chick with the rack.” After the movie, I got to thinking of all great trilogies in history and how this one would rank. We have the cultural influence of Star Wars, the adventurous spirit of Indiana Jones, the apocalyptic sets of Mad Max, etc. But the choice was easy. The greatest trilogy of all time: Friday, Next Friday, and Friday after Next. The onscreen chemistry of Ice Cube with, heck, with everyone in the trilogy was indescribable. Ice demonstrates an acting range that would make Sir Laurence Olivier humbly announce, “You da top dawg muthafucka!” That element coupled with the witty ghetto banter makes this trilogy far and away the greatest work of cinematic grandiosity. Each film built on the previous one, expanding the characterization. In particular Ice Cube moved out of his daddy’s house and got an apartment by the third film. In conclusion, LOTR sucks but Herambone gives the Friday trilogy the Brown Fist of Approval.

David Carey DIET COKE HEAD Last term I was caught up in the topsy-turvy world of a crappy co-op job. Working for a pension company in Toronto, I did mostly data entry, data transferring, data analysis and data sorting. If there was data involved I was sure to be a part of it. Luckily there were five other co-op students and one contract worker who were almost as bored and just as willing as me to do whatever necessary to find amusement. Us co-ops began emailing each other constantly. In fact it became almost like a group instant messaging conversation. We’d have spirited debates about Kobe Bryant’s rapist tendencies, habitually make fun of the odd people employed at the company, occasionally pretend to be racist to each other — it was a fun time. If memory serves, our daily e-mail count averaged 300. In a day with seven hours and fifteen minutes of company time, that works out to about one email every ninety seconds. All. Day. Long. I’m sure many of you can identify with our

Andrea Kerswill UNHEARD OF

Lucky enough to have won the first immunity challenge (it was an elevator lottery — which is less fun than it sounds), I survived the first tribal council. My alliance had fallen to two and I knew that my chances of surviving much longer were slim. I spent days three and four fighting for my life, desperate to gain the trust of my opponents. But it all came crashing down in a heap of deceit, treachery and sarcasm. Pitifully, I was the second co-op to get voted off the island. And it cut deep. As many of you know, the next installment of Survivor premieres right after the Super Bowl on Sunday, February 1. The “All Star” edition reunites contestants and winners from previous competitions at an undisclosed location. I’m one of those people that always chastizes the survivors for lying and cheating their way through the game. Yet after just a day I was betrayal boy. Following the upset conclusion of our competition, it took a few days for us to come back down from the Survivor high. We came pretty close to full-on verbal assault and the end of our happy and light-hearted e-mail interactions. If I can’t go a day without deceiving or a week without becoming bitter in a made-up office competition for useless prizes, who knows how I’d fare with a group of strangers on a remote island with little food or water, fighting for a million dollars.

I’d like to say I felt inspired — but I didn’t. I even tried closing my eyes a few times to see if I could get into the music of the language and that too failed miserably. I attended St. Jerome’s first reading series of the winter term, which featured a reading from Canadian poet and novelist Barry Dempster. In this short reading, Dempster read five of his poems from his recent book, The Words Wanting Out. This new book is a collection of previously printed and new poems. I entirely enjoyed and basked in Dempster’s poetry. He has an amazing way of conceptualizing mundane objects in rather fascinating ways. However, I found the atmosphere of the reading to be a bit dry. Somehow, I just don’t picture the perfect poetry reading as one that is next door to a bunch of hooligans playing ping-pong. The reading was housed in St. Jerome’s Sweeney Hall (the former cafeteria) and is about as lovely as the dirty snow we walk through between classes. The St. Jerome’s reading series has been happening for several years now and I must commend the professors at St. Jerome’s for putting these readings together. However, I would suggest that they improve the hall to encourage others to come and take part in the readings. The structure usually consists of an author reading selected pieces of his or her work. It then concludes with a mini question and answer session. I’ll admit, I didn’t have enough time to absorb Dempster’s work (maybe because I’m not taking Canadian Literature) let alone get a monster of a brain wave in order to think of an intelligent enough question to ask him. Professor Gary Draper filled in the first question (as it was clear he’d had a lot of time to think of what to ask). Professor Draper’s question was followed by three more questions and then the reading was adjourned. Too bad, I thought, if only there was a bit more time. I walked away wondering what I had taken from the reading, if anything at all. I could hear Dempster’s words ringing in my ears, particularly from one poem he read, “Knee-High,” which was a reflection on his father. What I wanted to do mostly was grab a copy of his book and read his poems in my own time, in my own light. I realized then that what this reading was missing was the time needed to digest each word, each poem for the masterpieces they truly were. So I’ve “borrowed” my friend’s book and I can’t wait to give it a read. Maybe you too should pick up a copy of these poems. Poetry seems to have the ability to feed our minds with what mind-numbing television cannot. Dempster in particular asks the reader to observe his poems several times before they even assume any kind of form in your head. To me, that is poetry at its best. The next scheduled reading is poet Karen Solie on March 10. My advice: pick up a copy of her works and be prepared to ask questions.

dcarey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

akerswill@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Office space Survivor: tales of a slacker struggle for entertainment. When assigned to construct training binders, we designed a madly intricate system of assembly that actually took over a day to implement. After stuffing envelopes for a few hours, we held envelope stack pageantry involving tests of strength, durability and artistic merit. Other less successful ventures included nausea-causing elevator hide-and-seek, violently-paced card games with vaguely fascist rule enforcement, hours of online spelling games and an elaborate plot to steal alcohol from a neighbouring building. Then I had the most fanciful of ideas. I decided that the co-ops would play a survivor-styled game of our very own. With six competitors and one student acting as host (she was too afraid to cry after inevitably being eliminated), contestants would get voted off an imaginary island and removed from the game. Prizes would be of little consequence and minimal value. No doubt we all had intentions of morality when entering Co-op Survivor, but these delusions faded quickly. In fact, our little game almost ruined the term. On day one of competition, a five to one alliance had already been formed. Foolish me decided to shake things up by shifting powers to favour the more deserving co-ops. To accomplish this, however, I was forced to weave a tangled web of lies on day two in order to secure the allegiance of a fellow competitor.

Digesting poetry

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Peaches: she’s the kinda bitch Sarah Dillon SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Ian D’Sa shows the crowd “How It Goes”

GARICK STEVENSON

Billy Talent is ready to “Try Honesty” with AoK Arda Ocal and Jenna Holko IMPRINT STAFF

When Streetsville natives Billy Talent played FED Hall this past Saturday night, they brought the sold out house down with their brand of punkish, trashy rock. The crowd was already buzzing after the opening acts (emoscream punk band Boys Night Out and twopiece heavy hitters Death from Above) and the arrival of Billy Talent on stage brought them into a frenzy. Before the last song of the evening, they delivered a passionate rant and a one finger salute to everyone who has labeled them as sellouts (“you don’t even fucking know how long we’ve been playing together”). This attitude was in full force when AoK sat with the band just before their time on stage at FED Hall. AoK: There’s a quote on the Web site that says you guys are a “walking, talking Seinfeld episode.” Can you explain that? Ben: It’s kind of the interaction that we have in the band. We’re very obsessive, compulsive and neurotic; we’re like Larry David’s wet dream. Here’s another quote: “Rather than trying to emulate popular bands at the time, we embraced our uniqueness.” Ben: I think what we meant by that is that there are a lot of bands out there that just listen to the radio and try to write songs that are similar to that. We’ve always been this kind of deformed beast and we never really fit in with any bands or any scenes. Instead of using that as a detriment against us we used it as a positive and tried to keep that [mentality] and then everything else followed suit once people started to realize what we’re all about. Is that the advice you’d give to new bands then, don’t try to be popular and fit into a mold? Ben: Yeah, just write good songs. Don’t write music to be famous or to have some kind of weird Canadian Idol mentality about it; music is an art form. If you’re a singer or guitar player, do it with conviction and passion and you can’t be wrong. I’m so sick of seeing a whole bunch of carbon copy, watered down, derivative versions of the essence of what is actually good.

What do you think of Canadian Idol? Ben: It’s a sham. It’s trying to get the accolades that have gone along with music, like fame and so-called money and things like that, without actually putting in the effort of making songs. Just because you can sing a karaoke song really well doesn’t mean you should be famous. If you’re actually passionate about [singing] then do it, but don’t use it as some sick kind of vessel to fuel your small ego. When you guys are making music, what comes first: the music or the lyrics? Do you think of a catchy riff and lay lyrics on top of it? Ben: Ian is the songwriter so he brings the songs to the table, and from that, him and I will work on vocal melodies. From that, once I got a vibe of what the song is like, I’ll start jotting down some lyrics. Then John and Aaron add their drum and bass and ruin all our songs. But we’ve known them for a long time so we let them keep on doing it. Can we see another album in the works down the road? Ian: Definitely. We’re going to be touring this album for the rest of this year, but I think probably January or February of next year we will probably head back into the studio to cut our second album. You guys met at a high school talent show and you weren’t even in the same bands. Do you remember what songs you played at that show? Ian: We covered Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” and we played a Soundgarden song and the Tragically Hip’s “New Orleans is Sinking.” What was the name of the band? Ian: We were called DragonFlower. [Ben laughs] That’s the worst, eh? And our tagline was “in every sound garden there’s a DragonFlower.” We were SoundGarden bands. And Billy Talent used to be called Pez. Ben: We had that name for a while and got rid of it because there was another band named Pez from the U.S. Ian: It was a stupid name anyway. What kind of band names [themselves] after candy? Listen to the full interview at AoK: The PreBomber Show Online – www.ckmsfm.ca/aok aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca jholko@imprint.uwaterlooca

A few years back, Peaches was touching it out in Toronto, which may be Canada’s most sexually and musically liberated city, but Toronto wasn’t quite ready for her. So she trucked it along to Germany, where she became an instant success in the electronic underground of Berlin’s music scene and released her first album, The Teaches of Peaches, under Kitty-To records. Peaches’ lessons? Sex and rock ’n’ roll. Finally, Toronto got the hint. I’m not here to discuss The Teaches though; I’m here to talk about Peaches’ latest release, the charmingly titled Fatherfucker. Twelve bass-slamming tracks with a smooth glaze of simple but brash and very real ideas about sex, sexuality and all those things we only talk about when we’re drunk and all thoughts of modesty have long been vanquished. “I don’t have to make the choice/ I like girls and I like boys,” ah yes! The words of the sexually-liberated shock-performance artist appear almost childlike at first. Simple? Yes, but childlike? You wish. Peaches makes no apologies for her brazen, in-your-face lyrics. Let’s take another look, shall we? In the track “I’m the Kinda” she chants “I’m not the only one with a body to kill/ I like to see just how you swing that thrill/ come on baby baby use that thing / you make my panties go ping.” Not convinced? How about this: “Eat a cookie, eat a big dick/big clit every day, what...” And can I just say that it’s about time a sexy-ugly middle-aged woman came out and talked freely about that no-no topic that you fellas so

vehemently deny experimenting with: the prostate. In the aptly titled “Back It Up,” Peaches tells us, “don’t you know it’s supposed to feel better for boys? Sweet buns, let me be your gun.” When I caught Peaches in a “secret” performance at the monthly queer rock show held at Lee’s Palace, Vazaleen, all that I’d heard was true: I was going to witness the stuff that legends are made of. She was hanging from a speaker in black Led Zeppelin boy briefs with a prosthetic dick sticking erectly out from that never-used pee hole, with white cowboy boots. And that’s all, folks. The greatest thing about Peaches is not that she’s a shock artist. It’s not that that instead of being courteous, she spits her sexuality, like a shot in your dad’s eye with a “fuck you, I don’t care if you accept this” attitude. It’s not that she’s a 30-something late-comer who says all the dirty words that our mothers would slap us for. It’s that despite all of this, she knows how to throw out a genuinely good electronic album that is more fun than fantastical, more brain than brawn. I’m no spokesperson for Peaches, but I will tell you this much — if you are to learn anything from The Teaches of Peaches, it should be this: have a fucking good time. Sex is more than just a romantic roll in the moors with rose petals and poetry. It’s about giving and taking, fucking it up and getting fucked up by how fucking great fucking is; it’s about taking control and letting loose. Slamming a headboard like a sailor on leave. My suggestion? Throw this album on, shake yer dicks, shake yer tits, get naked and get busy.

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Upstarts give it their all for UW drama’s new festival Michael Kolodziej SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Come one, come all! The UW drama department is launching its inaugural UpStart 2004 festival, a venue to give aspiring drama students and other up-and-coming artists in the community a chance to strut their stuff for their peers, critics and other theatre enthusiasts. The UpStart festival is similar to the widelyknown Fringe festival, in that artists can showcase their work to a large audience without being censored. Professor Bill Chesney, chair of the drama department, is confident about the festival’s long-term potential and inclusive structure. “Our hope is to run UpStart as a yearly event, to promote new work and self-production among our own and other UW students, the wider UW community and theatre and performance artists of all kinds in the K-W area.” The festival’s name originates from the label William Shakespeare received from a rival for his phenomenal successes with comedies, early history plays and his theatrical gestures onstage. Maybe this festival will provide the attention that K-W’s local talent and UW’s own need in order to get their start in a tough theatre field. UpStart 2004 features eight plays (selected via lottery in November) of many styles.This will hopefully ensure that there is something for every UW student. “The idea for Almost Sisters,” said co-playwrights/actors Robyn Gmeindl and Tara Velanoff, “was to create theatre for women in a traditionally patriarchal theatre system.” Inspired by experiences from their pasts, Almost

Sisters is a journey of life, love and friendship through the eyes of two young women. UpStart 2004 has enabled Nick Cummings to produce his first written work, He, with everything he’s learned in his years with UW drama. “Everyone upon everyone has ideas for shows, or at least the seed beginnings of theatrical events, that bug them and sit in the back of their minds awaiting expression. The fostering environment of the festival provides the opportunity to showcase their original creative work.” He is a literary fantasia where a surviving Ophelia gives a post-Hamlet monologue. There are other worthy shows to consider: Carte Blanche is a Tennessee Williams-inspired punk rock opera that uses music to expose love and cynicism. According to the creators of Chronic Deficiency, the play deals with “the disease that overthrew a generation of youngsters — but why should we care?” Jeff deSchiffert, an actor in both Carte Blanche and Chronic Deficiency, loves witnessing the new and exciting ideas put forth in this event. “I have had the pleasure of working under two very fresh and talented director/writers: James Barr and Luc Kedzior... I’m sure that anyone who is looking for a new outlook on theatre will not be disappointed.” The Queen of Bingo is a look at the lives of two people whose support for each other and love of bingo help them to deal with their insecurities and desires for purpose. Nathan Bender is another UW drama student looking forward to the festival. “It’s a great feeling to see what you have written and directed come to life on stage. I want to make people think about things differently and if I accom-

A scene from Almost Sisters, a play from UpStart 2004 plish that with Deus, I’ll be happy.” His play, Deus Ex Machina, is based on Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, wherein there are no families and Ford is God. In that hopeless world, the characters discover that there is a hope which the drug Soma cannot simulate. Bender also points out, “I want to watch the other shows and learn from them: how they presented things so that in the future I’ll have more ideas on how to present images and themes.” Also playing is A Room of One’s Own by UW alumnus Lindsay Alston, and Savage/Love by the local Isinglass Theatre. The eight plays will run four times each from

London

$489

$618

$129

Amsterdam

$599

$649

$50

Paris

$589

$749

$160

Fares correct at time of printing.

COURTESEY OF MICHAEL KOLODZIEJ

February 4 - 7 and 11 - 14 in studio/room 180 in the J.G. Hagey Hall for the Humanities. The 60seat theatre space offers an intimate setting between the actors and the audience. In the vein of UW’s grand M.O., this initiative is yet another creative and innovative strategy that contributes to our university’s reputation as a leader in technology and culture. For the quality of theatre available at very decent prices (visit www.drama.uwaterloo.ca for information), it’s definitely worth braving the Waterloo winter to help support our upstarts. Tickets are now available at the UW theatre centre box office or call (519) 888-4908 for further information.

SCIENCE FRIDAY, 30, 2004 FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,JANUARY 2004

Imprint science

23

science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Cancer, no longer a death sentence when you have the right battle plan Sam Brown SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Normally genes within a cell order it to grow, work, reproduce and die. If the orders are clear, the cell obeys and the organism stays healthy. Sometimes a cell’s orders get mixed up and it grows abnormally. This abnormal growth does not benefit the organism. It can restrict proper function of an organ and cause severe pain. After a while groups of abnormal cells form lumps or tumours. The severity of the disease occurs when the tumour overthrows a specific organ (liver, lungs, etc.). These mixed up signals can result from a number of factors including genetics, age and lifestyle. When most people hear about cancer news it is usually extreme cases; whether the news is about a risk factor or a cure. These publications are usually made for the benefit of other researchers, as most are only successful tests on a small scale. This means more research must be done before the findings are absolutely correct. For example, an article was produced a while back about the pollution rates in Windsor, Ontario and how pollution causes brain cancer. It is true that Windsor is one of the more polluted cities in Ontario and there have been many studies that link the pollution to respiratory problems, however further studies show that the incidence of cancers of the nervous system is about 0.06 per cent. Even if there was a doubling in the risk of getting brain cancer, the risk would pale compared to driving in a car (especially talking on a cell phone at the same time, or without a seat belt), taking a shower (many slip and fall head injuries occur), playing recreational sports, etc. There remains a lot of controversy about the risk of low levels of contaminants in our environment. Some believe that although there is an increase in chromosome aberrations with exposure to small amounts of radiation, that this does not translate into an increased risk of carcinogenesis. “That is, a threshold of DNA damage must occur before an increased risk occurs,” says Stephen Brown at the Henry Ford Hospital It is not certain how much exposure one must have to develop uncommon cancers, but according to the American Cancer Society statistics for 2004 that were recently released, slight changes in one’s lifestyle can help prevent more

common cancers drastically. Simple tasks like getting frequent checkups allow patients the chance of catching the disease early. If certain types are caught early they can be treated more effectively. These types include certain kinds of breast, colon and prostate cancer. Also mentioned in the 2004 statistics were the trends of diagnosing cancer. For these trends to have any meaning they must be adjusted for age. For instance, women are dying more from lung cancer. This might sound alarming but one must think of people’s lifestyles several decades ago. Many years ago it was attractive for women to smoke, so even though the number of women smoking is decreasing nowadays, the incubation period the disease takes to manifest is 20 to 30 years. Therefore the cancer rates are increasing based on the lifestyle trends of several decades ago. Looking at more recent trends, the statistics are a little more frightening. More people are dying of obesityrelated cancers such as some types of liver and esophageal cancer; skin cancers are also on the rise. This indicates that the current lifestyle of most North Americans is dangerous.

“Cancer is not an inescapable fact of life.” — Dr. Michael Thun American Cancer Society Overall, an estimated 139,900 new cases of cancer and 67,400 deaths will occur in Canada in 2004. But one must keep in mind that “cancer is not an inescapable fact of life.” (Dr. Michael Thun American Cancer Society). A third of these cancers will be caused by lifestyle factors such as lack of exercise, poor nutrition including a highfat diet low in fiber, fruits and vegetables and obesity. Stopping smoking is another way to avoid cancer, as the report estimates that tobacco use will cause 180,000 cancer deaths in 2004 — 160,000 of them from lung cancer. The war against this disease is still in the beginning phases. Though there are still many battles that are lost, there is a rise in the victories. For more information the report is posted on the Internet at http://www.cancer.org/statistics [The American Cancer Society]. As well the Canadian Cancer Society’s Web site is www.cancer.ca.

COURTESY GREENAPPLE.COM

Genetically modified fish shine light on unregulated creature creation.

Playing god or science just making life cooler Eli Denham IMPRINT STAFF

A biotechnology company in Austin, Texas has given fish lovers everywhere one more creature to love. Yorktown Technologies has commissioned the sale of a set number of genetically engineered aquarium fish that glow in the dark. The genetically engineered fish is a zebra fish that has a gene which is found in a kind of coral and produces a bioluminescent. The company can snip the “glow gene” out of the coral DNA and stick it into the DNA strands of a zebra fish embryo. This produces an animal that will definitely get your neighbours talking about your aquarium. So who cares? Why should these newly created shiny occupants of fish tanks cause us to worry? The problem presented is that the fish that live in aquariums sometimes do not stay there. That means releasing into the environment a new kind of fish without any guarantee of what will happen once they get out there. The chief executive of Yorktown says the company has checked with the Food and Drug Administration, the Environmental Protection Agency, the Department of Agriculture and the Fish and Wildlife Service but all of them say they are not responsible for keeping a safety eye out for the new kind of fish. The FDA

did say on December 9th, that it saw no reason to worry about any special danger to the food supply from GloFish, because tropical aquarium fish are not used for food purposes. The chances are this glowing new product of biotechnology won’t pose a threat to anyone or anything. Still in the state of California the powers that be have decided that the uncertainties are great enough to ban GloFish sales. The fact is that in the rest of the world a new fish is about to hit pet stores without any clear regulatory check or systematic safety assessment. That is exactly what is wrong with how we are dealing with biotechnology. Scientists and companies keep tweaking our plants and animals and even our pets but our regulatory agencies are not keeping pace. We don’t have adequate rules about how to release genetically engineered plants and animals into the environment. Businesses still introduce new plants, seeds and animals without making adequate information available to the public about what they are or where they are. No single federal agency in the U.S. or Canada has responsibility for assuring the safety of genetically engineered plants and animals. The glowing fish are shedding some light on an important problem. We don’t have sufficient oversight in place to make sure that the new animals and plants that result from genetic engineering are really safe for us and the environment. An agency needs to make sure that the rules for release and standards for both business and the public whether it be glow-in-the-dark fish, or dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees. science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint science

24

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Sweet talking birds and not-so-sweet sweeteners

Eli Denham IMPRINT STAFF

Pruning the family tree

A comparative study between the skulls of Neanderthals and modern humans concluded that the ancient group is not likely to have been the ancestor of modern people. It has been debated whether modern people are related to the squat, powerful Neanderthals, which dominated most of Europe for 100,000 years before dying out upon the arrival of modern humans. Anthropologist Katerina Harvati of New York University measured standard landmarks on the face and skull of Neanderthals, early modern humans and current humans, as well as other primate species. The results are published in this week’s issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The differences measured between Neanderthals and humans were significantly greater than those found between subspecies of any single group, indicating Neanderthals were not a subspecies of humans.

In addition, the difference was as great or greater than that found between closely related primate species, such as humans, gorillas and chimpanzees. Harvati says the analysis “cannot completely rule out” a relationship between humans and Neanderthals, however it strongly suggests that they are separate species. Richard G. Klein of Stanford University reported last March that while studies of DNA indicate that Neanderthals and humans had a common ancestor, there has yet to be evidence that the two ever mixed in substantial numbers, which means that when the Neanderthals died out, so did their genes. White gold, Texas tea — sweetener

Despite 125 years of research, science has yet to solve one of America’s biggest dietary dilemmas — finding an alternative to sugar. It’s not for lack of effort, or lack of need. Approximately 30 per cent of Americans are obese, a national weight problem expected to fuel an increased demand for sugar substitutes that began in the 1960s with the first big diet craze. Obesity has been deemed an epidemic by the Surgeon General and more than 163 million Americans already eat reduced-calorie or sugarfree foods, making artificial sweeteners a $1 billion-a-year industry. The problem is that no artificial sweetener has quite the taste or versatility of sugar. “There’s going to be opportunities for something new, and I think anything new is going to

need a selling point, an advantage over what’s now available,” said Sara Risch, a chemist and food industry consultant on sweeteners. The ideal sugar replacement would be stable enough to be baked and frozen, cheap enough to be mass produced and safe for public consumption, and would mix well with water and remain effective if stored for long periods. Researchers also say a new sweetener must activate the right taste receptors on the tongue — including one yet to be discovered. “It’s like buying a lottery ticket, you have to hit all five or six numbers to win big,” said Eric Walters, a former chemist at the Nutrasweet Company who now teaches biochemistry at the Chicago Medical School. Humans can sense five basic tastes: sweet, sour, bitter, salty and umami, a recently discovered taste created by salty, acidic compounds such as the flavor enhancer MSG. Sweetness may be the most difficult to simulate. While humans have up to 20 different types of receptors for bitter flavours — possibly developed to warn us from poisons — we only have two sweet receptors. Walk into any restaurant and you’ll find packets of two or three artificial sweeteners that come close to sugar — but no cigar. Aspartame is found in Equal, while Sweet’N Low is a saccharin product and Splenda is made by bonding the sugar molecule sucralose with chlorine. These substitutes also are available under lesser-known brand names. All three have advocates and critics. Fans say they all help with weight loss, while critics complain about aftertastes and possible longterm health effects. “Sugar remains the gold standard,” concedes Lyn Nabors, a spokeswoman for the artificial sweetening industry. Nabors said the trend in the industry is to combine different sweeteners in diet foods and beverages to enhance the taste. But a real sugar replacement remains an elusive, timeconsuming and expensive goal. Someone else that’s better than you

A exceptional parrot (his friends call him

N’kisi) has displayed a 1,000-word vocabulary and a sense of humour. He has been observed inventing his own words and creating new phrases if he is encounters a situation for which he he does not have existing repertoire — just as a human child would do. N’kisi is believed to be one of the most advanced users of a human language in the animal world. One N’kisi-ism was “flied” for “flew” and another “pretty smell medicine” to describe the aromatherapy oils used by his owner, an artist based in New York. When N’kisi first met Dr. Jane Goodall, the renowned chimpanzee expert, after seeing her in a picture with apes, N’kisi said: “Got a chimp?” He appears to fancy himself as a comedian. When another parrot hung upside down from its perch, he commented: “You got to put this bird on the camera.” Dr. Goodall says N’kisi’s is an “outstanding example of interspecies communication.” Analysis showed the parrot had used appropriate keywords three times more often than he would likely say by chance. The analysis was despite the researchers discounting responses like “What ya doing on the phone?” when N’kisi saw a card of a man with a telephone, and “Can I give you a hug?” with one of a couple embracing. Professor Donald Broom of the University of Cambridge’s School of Veterinary Medicine said: “The more we look at the cognitive abilities of animals, the more advanced they appear and the biggest leap of all has been with parrots.” Alison Hales, of the World Parrot Trust, told BBC News Online: “N’kisi’s amazing vocabulary and sense of humour should make everyone who has a pet parrot consider whether they are meeting its needs. “They may not be able to ask directly, but parrots are long-lived, and a bit of research now could mean an improved quality of life for years.” edenham@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

JEFF TRAN

Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him. But how is Yorick supposed to survive with such a small little head?

Imprint science

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Cutting carbs? Cut the crap The best diet is still the simplist one Eli Denham IMPRINT STAFF

A recent glance around the diet world today will show a plethora of new foods that are newly “low-carb.” From pizza to muffins and even beer, carbohydrate content has been reduced to satisfy those seeking to lose weight by reducing their carbohydrates. This new fad can be very confusing to those new to the nutritional world and going in seeking the low carb label may be detrimental to their goals. In fact focusing on carb control may trap dieters into ignoring the principles of healthy eating, like portion control and balanced food choices. Research news about insulin may be part of the problem. Insulin is a hormone which allows blood sugar to enter cells to be used for fuel, but it can also promote energy storage, according to a widely accepted theory. Changes in insulin levels may make it easier for the body to store more fat or to lose it. Lowcarb foods appear to reduce insulin release. Unfortunately for those looking for a quick fix, one of the oldest rules may still apply. Portion control is paramount when it comes to weight control. If you eat more calories than you burn up, your body has no choice but to store the extra as fat, regardless of whether those calories are carbohydrate, fat or protein. More bad news for those looking to drop a few pounds effortlessly: another key ingredient for weight loss is exercise. People who consume more calories in food and drink than they burn up need to become more active, reduce calorie consumption, or do both. Some people have grown accustomed to large servings of grain products: double- or triple-size bowls of cereal, bagels that are equivalent to four slices of bread, pasta platters that equal anywhere from four to eight “standard” half-cup servings. For these people, cutting back on carbohydrates is a smart weight loss strategy, only because they are most likely cutting back on their net calorie consumption. However any consequent weight

loss will be due to reducing excessive calorie consumption, not metabolic mysteries. Don’t let food package claims deceive you. Grocery shelves are now filled with “low carb” muffins, protein bars, brownies and cheesecake. Package fronts might announce one or two grams of carbohydrates, but check the full nutrition label. For instance, a protein bar containing two grams of carbs, may contain up to 240 calories. You should also be aware that no legal definition exists for the term “low carb.” Food companies use it at their own discretion. Food companies not nutrition experts or government sources have also generated terms like “net carb” or “effective carb” to promote new products. Many of these products use sugar alcohols (including sorbitol, mannitol and xylitol) instead of sugar. Because sugar alcohols are absorbed more slowly from the digestive tract than sugar, blood sugars do rise more slowly. However, some companies subtract the grams of sugar alcohols, along with the grams of dietary fiber, from the total carbohydrate count to get “effective” or “net” carbs. Sugar alcohols still bring all their calories along, no matter how slowly they’re absorbed. It’s also the total number of calories that affect fat storage. Besides, too much of sugar alcohols can cause uncomfortable gas and diarrhea. If you look at calorie balance, it’s clear that some foods on popular diets’ “no-no” lists make more health sense than low-carb “diet” foods. You have the potential to lose more weight with a snack of 80 calories from popcorn, grapes, apples or carrots, which are filling and supply important nutrients, than with 150 or 250 calories of low-carb diet foods. People mistakenly gobble multiple servings of low-carb products because they’re called “diet food.” If you want to lose weight, remember that successful weight loss comes with eating fewer calories, not just fewer carbs. Long-term habits of regular exercise and eating only to satisfy hunger will help your results come sooner and endure. edenham@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

JEANNETTE MEIER/ISTOCKPHOTO.COM

Despite what you may think you can’t get this from eating bacon and cheese everyday.

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SPORTS 26

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Imprint sports sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Fire on ice

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Women’s Warriors chase playoffs — page 30

ROD MCLACHLAN

Waterloo libero Brian Fuchs returns a serve as his teammates look on during Wednesday’s action versus the visiting McMaster Marauders. UW won the match 3-0.

Waterloo crushes Mac

Men’s hockey drops pair of tough decisions

Rod McLachlan

Adam McGuire

Injuries fail to slow powerful Warriors down IMPRINT STAFF

The Warrior men’s volleyball team defied all odds on Wednesday, January 28, by defeating the visiting McMaster Marauders 3-0 (25-20, 2516, 25-21) despite being down two starters, star middle Steve Mousseau (back) and leftside Dan Murray (knee), who were both injured. Second-year middle Greg Black stepped up once again from the bench to continue his amazing play during the past three matches for UW. “He’s doing so well. We’re all so happy with him. He’s just a scoring machine right now. No one in the league is giving him credit and he’s just making them look stupid,” commented UW’s Wayne McIntyre after the game. McIntyre also led the Warriors with a number of key kills and blocks during the course of the match, which was won handily by Waterloo. “It was just a clutch game. We needed to beat these guys to clinch the playoff berth for us. It’s pretty good coming off a loss too,” added McIntyre. The victory moves Waterloo, which is now 10-6-0 into within two points of third place York and also virtually secures UW a solid playoff spot. Before the win versus Mac, in a five

set barnburner of a match, the Warriors previous four-match winning streak ground to halt when the nationally ranked (#8) U of T Varsity Blues claimed their twelfth victory of the season with a 3-2 (20-25, 25-22, 2513, 21-25, 15-10) score on Saturday, January 24. With the five-set victory versus Western on Wednesday, January 21 still fresh on their minds, Waterloo dominated Toronto in the first game by taking the Blues to the brink with a quick 24-15 score. However, the Warriors could not seem to find that last point while Toronto (12-2-0) scored five unanswered points. Nevertheless the Warriors finally closed out the set 25-20. Toronto seemed to feed off its ability to come back and challenge in the first game and used that to overwhelm the Warriors in the second and third games with final set scores of 2522 and 25-13 in favour of the Blues. Fifth-year power hitter Marc Arseneau, who is among the league leaders in kills, digs and service aces, led the way offensively for Toronto during these two sets and led all players in the overall match with 34 points. Tearing a page from the January 21 game’s playbook, UW head coach Doug Hanes, versus U of T, once again inserted second-year power hit-

ter Black, who had previously sparked the Warriors comeback win against Western. Coming off the bench, Black did not disappoint, adding seven kills, which proved to be the deciding factor in the fourth game and allowed UW to win the set 25-21. Arseneau, who had a stellar outing (25 kills, 1 error, .800 kill efficiency), proved to be too much for the Warriors in the fifth set, when his impact was combined with a number of critical errors by Waterloo. The final score of the gripping fifth game favoured Toronto 15-10. Middle Steve Mousseau (13 kills, 5 blocks) and power hitter Taylor Hall, who had a career high 16 kills were standouts for Waterloo. Next up for the high-flying Warriors is a road clash versus the Windsor Lancers on Wednesday, February 4 at 8 p.m. “It’s always tough to play down there in Windsor. They chirp a lot. It’s pretty rowdy down there, but still fun. It’ll be a good game either way,” said McIntyre. It is a game McIntyre and the rest of the Warriors can’t wait for as they look to improve their playoff seeding. — with files from UW Athletics rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IMPRINT STAFF

The UW men’s hockey team has turned many corners this season and if these improvements keep materializing, the Warriors will see themselves among the OUA’s elite in the nottoo-distant future. But with two tough losses at the hands of the Lakehead Thunderwolves, it is obvious that the Warriors aren’t quite there yet. Waterloo dropped back-to-back decisions to the ’Wolves on Friday, January 23 and Saturday, January 24, as the nation’s fourth-ranked team escaped UW with a 4-3 overtime victory in the weekend’s first game before coming back the next night with a 6-0 triumph. In Friday night’s game, it looked as though the Warriors were ready to take their biggest step thus far in the rebuilding process, as an inspired first period saw the home team take a surprising 2-0 lead. In fact, the Warriors had stretched their lead to three by midway through the second frame as the dynamite play of UW goalie Scott Gouthro held Lakehead’s sharpshooters off the score sheet. However, the ’Wolves flexed their offensive muscle before the second period concluded, as two quick goals got Lakehead to

within one entering the final frame. Warriors’ head coach Karl Taylor said that the visiting club became more intense after UW established their lead, which contributed to the ’Wolves comeback efforts in the middle frame. “I think they’re a good team,” said Taylor, “but they played better in the second.” The third period saw the balance of momentum swing even more towards the Thunderwolves, as they continued to pepper Gouthro. Finally, Lakehead’s Matt Kenny was able to fire home the game-tying goal through a screen to even the score at 3-3. Both teams had their chances throughout the third to break the deadlock, but overtime would be needed to settle the match. Unfortunately for the Warriors, the ice was tilted in Lakehead’s favour during the extra period. The ’Wolves were unrelenting in their attack and it finally paid off when Lakehead defenceman Kris Callaway stepped into a loose puck and fired it through Gouthro’s legs for the game winning goal. The Warriors were visibly dejected after the loss, as the sting of defeat was accentuated more by the fact that UW’s 3-0 lead was obliterated into a 4-3 overtime loss. See HOCKEY, page 30

Imprint sports

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

27 Summer Camp Jobs in the U.S.A. Lakeside Residential Girls Camp in Maine - Visas Arranged Counselors: Combined childcare/teaching. Must be able to teach or lead one or more of the following activities: gymnastics, tennis, swim, sail, canoe, water ski, arts (including stained glass, sewing, jewelry, wood, photo), dance, music, theatre, archery, wilderness trips, field sports, equestrian. Service Workers: including openings for kitchen, laundry, housekeeping, secretaries, maintenance & grounds, and kitchen supervisor. Non-smokers. June 18 to August 25. Attractive salary (US) plus travel allowance. To Apply: Applications and photo gallery are available on our website: www.kippewa.com or contact us at the numbers listed below for a staff brochure. Kippewa, Box 340, Westwood, Massachusetts, 02090-0340, U.S.A. tel: 781-762-8291 | fax: 781-255-7167

Presents...

This Week in

Warrior Athletics

ADAM MCGUIRE

UW’s Nicole Tisdale fires up a free throw in the Warriors’ loss to Western on Saturday, January 24.

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

The quest of the UW women’s basketball team for a playoff spot remains in question after the Warriors dropped a pair of decisions this past week, losing to a tough Western Mustangs club on Saturday, January 24 before being bested by the McMaster Marauders on Wednesday, January 28. Despite three straight losses, the Warriors find themselves in a good position with seven games remaining, holding down the last playoff spot in the extremely tight west division. However, the Warriors will need to keep a close eye on the rear-view mirror, as Lakehead is only four points behind. The road to season’s end is not going to be easy for the Warriors, as the schedule is a tough one. The teams that they will face are all above them in the standings, except for Windsor who sits in last place but cannot be overlooked as they are only six points behind Waterloo. “We’ve stayed really positive [and] I think this team can make some noise. If we can get a win against a team in front of us [in the standings], our confidence will shoot up dramatically. With the top six teams in

the conference, anybody can beat anybody. We want to be in the playoffs and it’s not a signed deal yet. We’re just going to keep working really hard. There are no questions about effort with this team,” said head coach Tom O’Brien. That effort was once again tested in their game against McMaster. The game was of utter importance as McMaster was two points ahead of Waterloo in the standings, meaning the game was essentially worth four points. However, UW managed to shoot a paltry 32 per cent from the field in a 61-46 defeat. Marauders forward Chiara Rocca registered a game-high 18 points, while rookie Gillian Maxwell topped all Warriors’ scorers with 16 points and 8 rebounds. But before their matchup with McMaster, Waterloo hosted the best team in their division, the Western Mustangs. “They’re a first place team, but we have to win one of these games,” said O’Brien of the visiting Mustangs. The Warriors put forth a very strong effort, however it lacked consistency. In the first half Western shot 44 per cent and as a result walked into the locker room at half time with a 40-29 lead. In the second half, the Warriors came out determined and

played very stingy defence, forcing Western to shoot a miserable 22 per cent in the second half. However, the Warriors’ strong defence, led by Julie Devenny who had five blocks and five steals, could not mask their poor free throw shooting. After the game, O’Brien tried to explain their free shooting woes. “We’re usually pretty good [from the line]. There are some games where you really get going and others that you struggle. It’s such a mental thing. Sometimes the players end up thinking too much.” The Warriors went to the line 39 times and uncharacteristically only sunk 27 of those opportunities, a dismal 69 per cent average. Nevertheless, the Warriors were able to fight their way closer to Western and at times, Waterloo came close to taking the lead of the game. However, when the final buzzer sounded, the Warriors had lost a tough fourpoint decision by a score of 63-59. Offensively the Warriors were led by their rookie point guard, Nicole Tisdale, who registered 18 points, 4 assists and 4 steals. The Warriors will leap back into action tomorrow as they welcome the cross-town rival Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks to the PAC. Game time is 1 p.m.

Friday, January 30, 2004 vs Windsor Lancers, 7:30 pm, UW CIF Arena

Warrior Basketball Saturday, January 31, 2004 vs WLU Golden Hawks, (W) 1:00 pm, (M) 3:00 pm, UW PAC Gym Wednesday, February 4, 2004 vs Windsor Lancers, (W) 6:00 pm, (M) 8:00 pm, UW PAC Gym

Warrior Volleyball (W) Saturday, January 31, 2004 vs Brock Badgers, 7:00 pm, UW PAC Gym

Warrior Swimming Sunday, February 1, 2004 vs U of T and Trent, 11:00 am, UW PAC Pool

Athletes of the Week Colleen, a fourth

Scott, a third year

year Kinesiology

Environmental /Business student from Waterloo, Ontario, finished second place in the 1500m at the McGill Team Challenge this past weekend in Montreal. Scott's finishing time of 3:54.91 was a lifetime personal best and qualifies Scott for the CIS National Championships in March.

Serving the UW Campus

<< Colleen Lynch, Nordic Skiing

Brian Santos

Warrior Hockey (M)

<< Scott Arnald, Track & Field

Warriors stumble in stretch

student from North Bay, Ontario, was fourth on Saturday in a 7km skate race and won a Gold medal in the 5km classic race on Sunday. Despite frigid temperatures, Colleen led the women's team to a first place ranking at the OUA qualifier in Orangeville.

King St. & Northfield

Fischer-Hallman & University Ave.

584-0827 584-1044 584-0971

28

Imprint sports

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Warriors fail to grab first place Aaron Tomlin SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

The Warriors’ winning streak came to a screeching halt on Wednesday, January 28, in a 74-61 road loss to the fourth-ranked McMaster Marauders. The disappointing defeat snapped UW’s three-game run as they lost a golden opportunity to claim first place in the OUA’s west division. The difference in the game was Mac’s superior shooting, as they registered a field goal percentage of 52 per cent as well as shooting the lights out from beyond the arc, hitting 12 of 20 threepointers. In a losing cause, Dave Munkley and Mike Sovran led UW in scoring with 15 points a piece. But before they took on McMaster, the Warriors played host to the Western Mustangs last Saturday, January 24. The school that Waterloo students love to hate is also the school that the Warriors’ basketball team loves to beat, especially after this past weekend. The two went hand in hand this past weekend when the Warriors beat Western 68-59 last Saturday afternoon. The game opened with Western, who rattled off four impressive wins, scoring two quick baskets to obtain their only lead of the entire game. Western’s quick start awoke the Warriors from their daydreaming slumber. In front of an unfortunately sub-par crowd, Waterloo proceeded in putting together one of their most impressive wins of the season, with all facets of the game being executed effectively. The fans, and those watching on Rogers Television, were not only treated to an impres-

sive win, but to some stellar individual performances as well. Leading the way, yet again, was cocaptain Mike Sovran who scored 22 points while knocking down four three-pointers and collecting nine rebounds. Sovran’s game caused former Waterloo great and Rogers colour commentator, Sean Vankoughnett to call Sovran’s game ‘magic’, keeping in mind the similarities between his magic game and his ‘magic tan’. However, the player who stole the show was fourth year swing man Dave Munkley. Munkley put together a series of athletic plays including two monster rejections that gives hope to the dream, white men can jump. Even with an impressive win, there can be some uneasiness about some areas of the game. The win against Western was no different, as the Warriors team, as a whole, managed only one trip to the charity stripe. It is often the case when a team is shooting well they will begin to settle for outside jumpers, avoiding taking the ball to the rim. When the shots are going in, this is no problem, but if Waterloo is not shooting well, this trend of settling for the outside shot will hurt them down the stretch. This was evident in the Warriors’ loss at McMaster. However, a win is a win, and the Warriors have now won three straight. Top scorers for the Warriors were Sovran with 22 and Munkley with 10 points. Tomorrow, the Warriors host their crosstown rivals, the Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks. Waterloo will be looking to avenge an early season loss to the Golden Hawks. Game time is 3 p.m. at the PAC.

ADAM MCGUIRE

UW’s Mike Sovran inbounds the ball to a teammate during Waterloo’s victory over the Western Mustangs last Saturday, January 24.

The cost of Lord Stanley Adam McGuire TWO - MINUTE WARNING You heard it here first, folks: money is highly overrated. No, I’m not crazy and no, I’m not a devout Communist. But in professional sports, the almighty buck isn’t as almighty as everyone thinks. Every time a far-from-free agent signs on the dotted line with a $7000 jewel-encrusted pen, more and more emphasis is placed on cash in sport. But it’s simple: championships simply cannot be purchased. Exhibit A: the New York Rangers. The Rangers have made wasting money an art. You’d think after so many high-priced busts and a six-year playoff drought, the “buyevery-marginally-talented-player-available” experiment would be over. But with last week’s addition of one-time megastar Jaromir Jagr, New York reaffirmed its position as the NHL’s premiere underachieving and overpaid team. And in Jagr’s first game with his new club, the Rangers were crushed 9-1 by the Ottawa Senators. Welcome to New York, Jaromir. But in all fairness, Ottawa is a perennial powerhouse. They know that a successful team has to be built like a finely-crafted jigsaw puzzle, adding certain pieces over time to create the finished product. On the other hand, the Rangers have taken the six-year-old’s approach to the puzzle, picking the prettiest piece and pounding it together with the next-prettiest piece, determined to make it fit. But the pieces don’t go together, and the result is an ugly mosaic of stinking-rich individuals in a team sport. But hey, at least the pieces all look pretty.

And to compound the problem, the Rangers aren’t even buying a team correctly. Their spendaholism knows no boundaries, as the high-salaried players they sign and trade for usually offer little help where New York is hurting most. Obviously, the Rangers missed the decades-old “defence wins championships” memo, as they have proceeded to load up on alleged offensive superstars while seeing their defensive play become as inept as their accounting department. Even the few defencemen they have signed are nothing short of mediocre (see: Kasparaitis, Darius). Jagr is more money-not-too-wellspent, because no matter how many goals he scores for the Rangers, I’m guessing he’ll do little for New York’s twenty-sixth ranked defence. On top of that, the offensive forces that the Rangers have compiled are of a hit-and-miss nature. Pavel Bure is likely the richest injured player in hockey and Alexei Kovalev is as valuable to the Rangers as a dating service is to Hugh Hefner. And in the culmination of New York’s spending spree, forward Bobby Holik’s $45 million deal is the worst misuse of money this side of the International Olympic Committee. So with another all-star forward in Jagr, the Rangers continue to spend and spend wrong. New York has become the official home for quasi-talented, defensively-incompetent money-grabbers; players who, with any other team, would be paid half as much and winning twice as often. The Rangers can keep on emptying their pockets until they turn inside-out, but their careless cash-tossing ways won’t bring them a Stanley Cup championship anytime soon. In fact, they’ll be lucky if they can squeak themselves into the playoffs. And even if they do, they’ll likely have to play the Senators. amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint sports

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

29

Nordic ski team has golden weekend Areta Lok SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

The Nordic Warriors were victorious at the second OUA qualifying meet held in Orangeville this past weekend. First place team finishes were earned by the men on both Saturday and Sunday, and the women’s Sunday victory ensured that UW was the overall university winner. Cold, sunny weather was the backdrop for this event, guaranteeing that a good time and frostbite would be had by all. Saturday’s race was a freestyle race lasting 10km for the men and 7km for the women. The trails were narrow and hilly, making it a challenge to overtake other athletes during the race. The men’s winning campaign was led by Justin Faulkner and Charles Curtis, finishing 3rd and 4th respectively behind a blazing Ed McCarthy of Carleton. The other Warriors were not far behind, with Eerik Randsalu in 7th position and Matt Strickland in 22nd rounding out the team scoring. Making solid first appearances as UW athletes were Neil de Laplante, 30th, Colin Rhodes, 32nd and Jacob Kolunovsky, 41st. The women’s team finished second on the first day of competition, only 4 points behind Laurentian. Leading the way were Colleen Lynch, 4th, Mary Ellen Wood, 5th and Andrea Dupont, 8th, with Kristie Henry rounding out the scoring in 11th place. Solid performances were also seen from Meg Payne (35) and Tiffany Duncan (45).

The skiers awoke to bitter cold on Sunday morning that forced the cancellation of the scheduled relay event. All athletes were thus invited to compete in a mass start classic race, 10km for men and 5km for women. The tracks were fast and the bright sunshine made the cold more bearable as the skiers strided their way around the course. The men’s race was exciting as Randsalu had his first podium finish as a university skier, placing a strong 2nd and leading his team to victory. Faulkner, 6th, new warrior Bryon Hughson, 9th and Strickland, 19th, rounded out the scoring. Strong races in a competitive field were also seen from deLaplante (31), Rhodes (32) and Kolunovsky (36). The women made their mark in the classic event, with Lynch winning her first gold medal in university skiing, sharing the podium with Dupont in 2nd, and followed closely by Wood (8th) and Henry (10th). Also skiing well on Sunday were Toni Carlisle (31) and Duncan (43). The women’s dominant classic results put them in first place for the day and the weekend. Coach Brent Curry summed up the event: “The cold weather couldn’t stop our skiers. Coming home with the team titles and four individual medals shows that the hard work put in over the summer is paying off.” The Nordic Warriors will rest up in preparation of the OUA championships to be held February 7-8 in Sudbury.

BRENT CURRY

Last weekend Warrior skier Eerik Randsalu had his first university podium finish, a silver.

Track and field team has success at McGill Figure skating team’s next challenge is OUA Finals

Brian Santos SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Arnald qualifies for nationals

This past Saturday, January 24 the track and field team travelled for a meet hosted by McGill University with ten schools participating. The women placed seventh, while the men placed fifth. In the weekend’s top individual performance, Scott Arnald finished second in the 1500m and qualified for the CIS championships in March. Arnald is the first Warrior of 2004 to put himself in the hunt for a national medal performance. Notable performances for the women’s squad were the women’s 4x400m relay team of Rebecca Murrant, Katie Bickle, Cindy Willis and Gina Jackson, who finished third; and Trudy Gardner, who finished fourth in the 1000m. The men’s 4x200m relay team of Adrian Blair, David Browne, Shane Ferth and Joe Brown ran a strong race to place second, while the 4x400m relay team of Scott Arnald, Will Gibbons, Steven Kristensen and Gregory Winston also finished second. The team will next participate in the York Invitational, held on January 31.

The figure skating team competed in the University of Toronto Varsity Figure Skating Invitational and placed sixth. Leo Kwong performed very well, placing first in the men’s open dance and third in the men’s open freeskate. Amanda Breen had a solid weekend, finishing third in the Junior Silver Ladies. Rookies Sheridan Hinnegan and Sarah Norris placed third in the variation dance. The most impressive performance was by Chantal Masicotte, who completed a perfect program that included five clean double jumps, good enough to secure the rookie with a win in the senior bronze ladies event. The team will next compete at the OUA finals being held at RIM Park on February 14 and 15. Indoor hockey looks to bring winning ways into regular season

Still in preparation for the regular season, the women’s indoor hockey team participated in an exhibition tournament held by York. The team showed much promise, losing only once in four games. The team’s only loss came at the hands of the Queen’s Alumni. Goalie Katie McNeil played very strongly throughout the tournament, allowing only four goals and making key saves throughout the tournament.

The team will begin OUA regular season play tomorrow Saturday, January 31 when they travel to Ottawa to play against the Carleton Ravens. Swimming team wins a close one against rivals Laurier

This past weekend, both the men’s and women’s swimming teams competed against Western and Laurier. The Warriors lost handily against a very strong Western team, but were able to win narrowly against rivals Laurier. At the Western meet Jen Sweny placed first in the 200 IM and 50 back, while Milly Golley placed first in the 200 back. They were the only women to record wins for the Warriors. For the men, Matt Mains was the only Warrior to win, as he kept his streak alive, winning in the 200 IM, 400 free and 50 breast. Against Laurier, the Warriors showed improvement. Jen Sweny had wins in the 100 breast and 200 breast, Laura Chalmers had wins in the 50 and 100 free, while Milly Golley had wins in the 50 and 100 back. The very dependable Matt Mains had wins in the 50 back, 100 back and 100 free, while Ian Rutherford finished first in the 50 fly and 200 IM, and second in the 200 fly, while Kader El-Fityani came first in the 100 fly. Saturday, January 31, the Warriors will be competing in a five-team meet hosted by York University.

Imprint sports

30

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Warriors earn draw in rough outing Rod McLachlan IMPRINT STAFF

Despite coming off back-to-back 3-0 losses to Queen’s and Western, the Warriors had enough will to valiantly fight back against the Windsor Lancers to earn a 2-2 tie after being down 20 at the Columbia Icefields Arena on January 24. Much like its male counterpart, the women’s hockey team finds itself at the last stage of the season in a neck-and-neck fight against Windsor for a playoff spot. Saturday’s clash was the third of four regular season meetings between the clubs and gritty hard-nosed play was the order of the day. The rivalry between the two was heightened since Waterloo took three of a possible four points from the Lancers on the road back in late November. Windsor took their commanding 2-0 lead in the first period by taking advantage of a number of UW mistakes including a poor clearing attempt that was picked off and a power play goal. The tone in the first was very physical and the play was very chippy. “We spoke about [the rough play] between the first and second periods. We just had to stick to our plan,” said UW head coach Bill Antler after the game. Whatever was said during the intermission seemed to spark UW’s comeback. Kirsten Lindstol led the

attack with a powerplay marker as a result of a crisp Julianne Schmalz pass. Second-year defender Kaitlin Martin got the secondary assist on the goal. Coach Antler also pointed to a key penalty kill that sparked the Warriors. “I think that early in the second [period] we had a penalty and killed it clearly. We seemed to take the play away. We stuck up for each other,” said Antler in reference to the turnaround in UW’s play. In the third frame, Schmalz took a quick feed from captain and secondyear forward Lindsay Wood and wired it five-hole past Lancers goalie Katie Clubb. The goal broke a scoreless drought by Schmalz that extended before the Christmas break. More importantly, it knotted the score 2-2. “The girls were upset that they gave up a point against Windsor.” Although coach Antler did note that the comeback “ups our confidence.” As for the postseason, the Warriors currently hold the final playoff position. However, Windsor is challenging and has two games in hand. The Warriors now have five games remaining in the season, including the final series meeting between the Lancers and Waterloo. Next, UW takes on the Brock Badgers on February 6 at 7:30 p.m. in St. Catharines. rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

ADAM MCGUIRE

UW forward Amy Witkowski prepares herself for a faceoff in Waterloo’s 2-2 tie with Windsor.

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This summer consider working in our clean, safe, state-of-the-art water bottling facility. Join a team of friendly, motivated employees and learn about one of the most exciting new industries in the Canadian marketplace. You will receive a competitive rate of $12 an hour and an end-of-contract bonus. Shift work and overtime will be required. Nestlé Waters Canada provides superior natural spring water products with an emphasis on service and quality. Our products include Perrier, San Pellegrino, Aberfoyle Springs, Vittel, Montclair and A. Panna. Excellence in customer service, employee relations and environmental protection has promoted phenomenal growth over the past ten years. Do you have a strong work ethic and a desire to work in an environment that promotes respect, equity and teamwork? If so, please visit us at the Partnerships for Employment Job Fair on Wednesday, February 4, 2004, between 10 am and 3:30 pm at RIM Park, 2001 University Avenue East, Waterloo, ON N2K 4K4. If you are unable to attend the job fair, please apply to: Human Resources Nestlé Waters Canada (The Perrier Group/Aberfoyle Springs Co.) RR3, Guelph, ON N1H 6H9 Fax: (519) 763-5046 Email: GSchlosser@perriergroup.com For more information on our company, visit:

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ADAM MCGUIRE

UW goalie Scott Gouthro dives towards a loose puck in a game against Lakehead last week.

Hockey: Warriors fight for a playoff position Continued from page 26

“We have to learn how to play with leads,” said Taylor. “I’d like to see us stick the knife in [and close out the victory].” Scoring for the Warriors in a losing effort was Mike Della Mora, Adam Metherel and Joe Pellegrino. Gouthro made 45 saves in the defeat. The momentum from the third period and overtime of Friday’s game seemed to carry over to the next night for the ‘Wolves, as they controlled the game from the drop of the puck. Lakehead outshot the Warriors by a 37-27 margin, as six different Thunderwolves notched tallies in the 6-0 victory. Gouthro was

not as sharp as he was in the previous night’s match and Lakehead’s potent offense took advantage of it early and often. Waterloo could not mount any type of offense and the powerful ‘Wolves got three points each from forwards Joel Scherban and Jeff Richards to extend their unbeaten streak to seven games. Taylor had mixed feelings about the pair of losses to Lakehead, as UW continues to battle for a playoff position. “There’s never solace when you lose,” said Taylor. “We’re here to win games.” However, Taylor said he realizes that the point his team earned in the overtime loss is valuable to Waterloo’s position in the standings.

“We need every single point we can get,” said Taylor . “We’re happy to get the point and we were going after the second point [in overtime].” The Warriors’ season will come to a head this weekend in what will no doubt be an intense back-to-back showdown with Windsor, who the Warriors currently trail by one point for the final playoff spot in the OUA’s far west division. In their most important game of the season to date, Waterloo will host the first half of the home-and-home tonight. Game time at the CIF is 7:30 p.m. amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

PUBLISH YOUR "VALENTINE" IN IMPRINT THIS YEAR ... FEBRUARY 13 ...

CLASSIFIEDS

FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004

Rates: 20 Words/over 20 + GST Fee-Paying Students:$3.00 /.15 Non-Students:$6.00/.25 Business/Students:$10.00/.25

TERM SUBSCRIPTIONS

• Fall or Winter $17.75 • Summer $8.

HOUSING One or two bedrooms available in five bedroom apartment. Brand new, excellent location. Two person shared bathroom, two fridges, fully furnished, balcony, laundry on site, parking available, five minute walk to UW, high speed internet. $495/person/month negotiable. Utilities included. Phone 880-8869, Sarah or Katie. Available May to August 2004. May and September rentals available, 12 and 8 month leases. Housing from 1-10 persons per unit/house. Rent price from $335 - $525 inclusive. Call us first at W.O.C.H. 747-7276. One - five bedroom house. Extra large livingroom, kitchen, large bedrooms, one complete bathroom and one two piece, laundry facilites, ample parking, close to both universities. Utilities extra. $355/student/month, minimum five students. Lease September 1, 2004 to August 30, 2005. For appointment call 416-491-1370, cell 416-705-5648. Housing for four or five students available May and/or September. Internet, laundry, parking, two bathrooms, 15 minute walk to UW. $380 to $400/ person, plus utilities. Peter at 885-1086. Attention Architecture students! Student building across from the new School of Architecture in Cambridge is renting newly renovated rooms and apartments, starting at $350/room, utilities included. Check them out at www.haneypm.com or call Darlene at 746-1411. One - three bedroom apartment newly renovated. Laundry facilities, parking, close to both universities. Utilities included. $405/student/month, minimum three students. Lease May 1, 2004 to April 30, 2005. For appointment call 416-491-1370, cell 416-705-5648. Looking for lots of space? Check out Churchill Pines at 80 Churchill for three bedroom multi-level townhouses. This is a student townhouse complex that is just a 15 minute walk to UW, starting at $375/room plus utilities. Check them out at www.haneypm.com. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached ome near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 725-5348. Excellent sublets available from May1 to August 27, 2004. Three and four bedroom units. Starting at $275/person, up to $550/month, inclusive. Call 7477276.

HELP WANTED Like working with kids and teens? Plan to go to teachers college? Need a summer job? City of Waterloo Camp employment opportunities. May - August. Rate of pay $8.25 - $10.25/hour. Camp applications available at Career Services or www.city.waterloo.on.ca/CS/HR. Camp Wayne for girls – childrens' sleepaway camp, Northeast Pennsylvania (6/ 18-8/15/04). If you love children and want a caring, fun environment, we need female staff as directors and instructors for tennis, golf, gymnastics, swimming, waterskiing, sailing, team sports, cheerleading, ropes, camping/nature, drama, video, ceramics, sculpture, batik, silkscreen, guitar, jewelry, piano, photography, aerobics, martial arts. Other positions: group leaders, administrative/driver, nursing students. On campus interview March 20, 2004. Apply online at www.campwaynegirls.com or call 1-516-889-3217. Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eightmonth commitment. Paid positions.

Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Job fair interviews - come home to our camp family for the summer of your life – Camp Wayne, northeast Pennsylvania, USA. Councelor-Specialists all Land/Water Sport Inc. Tennis, golf, soccer, outdoor adventure, camping, mountain biking, climbing/ropes, roller hockey, rocketry, fine arts, theatre, radio, video, CDL divers, wait staff and more. Graduating RN's, RN's, nurse practioners for our health centre. Interviews in conjunction with 4-School Job Fair, Wednesday, February 4. Earn US dollars, visa rembursement. Let's get the ball rolling now! Online application www.campwayne.com; e-mail info@campwayne.com or 1-888-5492963, (516) 883-3067.

TRA VEL TRAVEL Reading Week travel specials – Cancun and Dominican Republic from $1,044 (triple). All inclusive beachfront hotels. Departures from Toronto on February 11, 12, 13, 14 and 15. Todd at Thames Travel, 1-800-962-8262, www.thamestravel.com. Ski Big White/Silverstar from $995, February 14-21. Includes flights, seven nights, six day lifts, transfer, all taxes. All Ontario University Ski Week call 1888-4SKICAN.

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SERVICES Essay help – research and writing. Winning applications, entrance letters from dedicated writing experts. 1-888-3458295 or www.customessay.com. “Ultimate Questions,� The Lord Jesus Christ is the difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence. Please send name and address to: Bible Study, Zion United Reformed Church, 1238 Main Street, Sheffield, ON, L0R 1Z0 or email bible@zurch.on.ca. See website: www.zurch.on.ca. Click on links, ask for book, sign up today, it’s free! Too many essays, too little time? Essay Experts can help. We provide essay writing/editing/research services. Professional writers. Satisfaction guaranteed. No job too big or too small. 1-877-974-TEXT or essayexperts.ca.

Please submit your "words of love" by February 9, to the Imprint Office, Student Life Centre, room 1116 between 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

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UPCOMING Saturday, January 31, 2004 Volunteer Fair 2004 and Auction for Volunteer Action will be presented at Fairview Park Mall from 9:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. For info contact Jane Hennig at 742-8610 or jh.kwvac@on.aibn.com. Thursday, February 5, 2004 Waterloo-Germancy Exchange open to all students. Info session from 12:301:30 p.m. in ML, room 245. Check out website http://germanicandslavic.uwaterloo.ca/exchange.

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The minimum wage is going up. If you’re an employer, here’s what you need to know. General Minimum Wage

Students under 18 and working not more than 28 hours per week or during a school holiday

Liquor Server

Hunting & Fishing Guides: for less than five consecutive hours in a day

Hunting & Fishing Guides: for five or more hours in a day whether or not the hours are consecutive

Homeworkers (people doing paid work in their home for an employer)

Current wage rate

$6.85/hour

$6.40/hour

$5.95/hour

$34.25

$68.50

110% of the minimum wage

Feb.1, 2004 wage rate

$7.15/hour

$6.70/hour

$6.20/hour

$35.75

$71.50

110% of the minimum wage

On February 1, 2004, the general minimum wage will increase to $7.15 per hour from the current rate of $6.85 per hour. Annual increases will follow bringing the general minimum wage to $8.00 per hour on February 1, 2007. The increases are being phased in over four years and will also be reflected in all minimum wage categories.

To find out more about how the new minimum wage guidelines affect employers and employees, call or visit the Ministry of Labour web site.

1-800-531-5551 www.gov.on.ca/LAB

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