2003-04_v26,n25_Imprint

Page 1

12° North

Double bronze

Goat slaughtering festival —page 12

Cross-country success —page 21

Dark cloud hangs over Hamilton Bianca Tong and Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

Will Hamilton, who was running under the THC ticket in the Feds election, was deemed ineligible for presidential candidacy because he did not meet the Federation of Students’ membership requirements. A member of the Feds is considered to be, according to bylaw 1 section IV.A.3 and section E.4 of the Federation of Students Election Procedures, a full-time undergrad student currently registered at UW, a full-time undergrad currently engaged in co-op term or a “full-time undergrad who isn’t registered in the current term but who was registered in the previous term and has shown intention to register in the next term.” Hamilton had approached the election committee on Tuesday, February 3, letting them know that he was not registered in the Winter 2004 term. The election committee allowed Hamilton to submit documents showing his intent to register in the Spring 2004 term. Upon receipt of said documents on Friday, February 6, the committee discovered that Hamilton had not been a registered full-time undergraduate or engaged in a work term in the fall of 2003. This means that Hamilton is not officially a Feds member, and could not, according to policy, run for presidential candidate. The policy in question is less than a year old and this is the first election for which it has been in place. Upon inquiry into why validation of nominees’ eligibility was not completed before the campaigning period, it was discovered that the time between the end of nominations and the start of campaigning was only a day. “Many nominees handed their forms in well before the end of the nomination period and the Registrar was able to return information to me prior to the start of the campaign period. Mr. Hamilton was not among that group,” said Brandon Sweet, the Chief Electoral Officer. Hamilton had handed his nomination in on the pushed-back nomination due date, which had been postponed as a result of the snow day on January 27. This meant that the election committee had no choice but to validate his nomination during the campaign period. “If we hadn’t learnt this until the voting period had begun, then it would have become a major imbroglio for everyone,” said current Feds president Chris Edey.

DURSHAN GANTHAN

Will Hamilton responds to questions at the Feds candidate forum on February 4. Hamilton was later disqualified from the election because he did not meet the requirements to stand as a Feds candidate. Edey also commented on the effect of Hamilton’s disqualification on his fellow THC ticket members, Andrew Clelland (VPAF) and Brent Taylor (VP internal). “From an electoral point of view, the [candidate for] president is usually the rallying point of the ticket, and without that it could be more difficult for Taylor and Clelland. From a political point of view, it doesn’t look good for them. But they seem to be resourceful people so I’m sure they’re still going to push hard to get the jobs that they want regardless of what

happened to Will.” Changes to the length of hiatus between the close of the nomination period and the start of the campaign period will be recommended by the election committee in order to allow for submittal of candidate statements, validation of nominations and voters’ list generation. Hamilton had held positions on the Feds student council and on the board of directors. These posts are now vacant. When contacted for comment, Hamilton ex-

pressed his disappointment at being ejected from the race, and provided the following message to UW students: “Stand up and be counted. Ask questions and expect answers. Vote. Do not be swayed by public opinion or by newspapers that spit out flowery rhetoric or doom and gloom predictions. Make sure that the candidates talk and interact with you and your needs. They are there to represent you and your interests.” btong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

page two

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

2

Neal Moogk-Soulis

1

CROSSWORD

If you could do anything for Reading Week, what would you do? by Julian Apong and Dan Micak

“Just read, I guess.” Tyler Lu 1B computer science

“The answer I first thought of you probably couldn’t print.” Kyle Schuler 3B anonymous

Across 1. Relocate 5. Sham stories 10. A synonym for ‘lot’ 14. Opera solo 15. An alternate name for Sam Raimi 16. A term of endearment of the vegetable kind 17. Sam Walton’s is the most famous 18. A rock memorial 19. Roman goddess of the moon 20. Horatio, 19th century author who believed “virtue and hard work overcome poverty.” Michael Moore hates him. 22. Saltwater fish 24. What Clinton didn’t do with marijuana 27. Narrow Gallic necklace 28. A yen penny 30. Not odd 31. Hawaiian hellos and goodbyes 34. Hawaiian necklace 35. Never contradict your English professors like this, they might cry 36. American oil company acquired by BP 37. Several periods of time 39. Wait in ambush or peek through windows 42. A great distance from here 43. Authoritative declarations 45. An incantation denoted by magic signs 47. Before 48. Blood by-products 50. What there was before the elements 51. Nothing February 6 solution

“Go to Egypt to visit the pyramids.” Meghan MacLennan

“Get the other three days off!” Michael Badek

4A political science

2B math and business

“Have a longer one.” Matt Kearney 1B computer science

T A L C

A F A R

L I N O

C R A W

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H E L I O T R O P E

S B L E U I S N E M O J B E L A E E N S C H M O O R A A B S U S T

L A S S O E R L A R C E N Y

I N S T

K N I F E E D G E

P O E B R S S T O C E N O T A R O X I P C T S I N C O U S N E D D O

K R A A L

R E T R O

A D E P T

H O O T

A U R A

T S A R

R A I N

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E L S E

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2B speech communication, 1B rec and leisure, 2B rec and leisure, and 2B rec and leisure

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52. When referring to others 53. The job of a stage-manager 55. Extreme excess 58. Measuring stick 61. The worst crime imaginable 62. Never any good out of the bottle 65. A sweet edible fruit of the palm 66. Affirm as true 67. What you would be given when tardy to class 68. African wildebeests 69. The probe-eating planet 70. Synthetic stocking 71. Make changes Down 1. Informal mother 2. In recent studies grade school kids didn’t consider this “doing it” 3. Virginal American ivy 4. Consumed 5. Americans in control of the airwaves 6. Pastureland 7. Digestive tract 8. Actress Sorvino who was Romy White, but recently her Fanny was seen in Gods and Generals 9. Holy places 10. A tumour 11. A result of Henry VIII’s divorce 12. Tip-top or first-rate 13. Having two parts

“More math.” Joshua Grisdale This week’s Super Student, who is showing us all how it’s done, is Meagan Dilworth. She is currently in third

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Go on vacation, get drunk, sleep.” Sabrina Scott

4B mathematical sciences

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3B science and business

“Yo mama!” Scott Reynolds, Tyler Wilson, Andrew Hoffman and Bryce Dzeidzeijko

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year health studies and has been very active for several terms with the Campus Response Team, where she

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21. Flightless South American bird 23. The coffee bean tree 25. Car rental company 26. Forty days from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday 28. Seeking these, some students steal cafeteria trays 29. Suggestive of the supernatural 32. Mites 33. A slightly shorter dock-leaf 38. Why he won’t be good at public speaking 40. Scottish singer briefly married to a BeeGee 41. The second-most likely operation for a senior 44. Indian wet nurse 46. An independent ruler appearing for the third time 49. Propagandic catchword 54. A slight push 55. A British baby-carriage 56. Magma 57. Depend 59. An ornamental handbag 60. All that’s left 63. The OJ Simpson (remember him?) judge 64. Even nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

logged 40 hours last term. She is involved with the Womyn’s Centre where she is currently helping organize International Women’s Week as well as working on a project to promote Women’s Health Awareness. She also helps at the food bank on campus, and volunteers as a support worker for Reaching Our Outdoor Friends, which is an organization that offers a variety of services for youth in need and homeless youth. Meagan says that getting involved in volunteering on campus has really enhanced her university experience. Meagan’s quotable quote? “I just want randomness. I love randomness.” — Fiona Hudgins

NEWS

Imprint news

FRIDAY, FEBRUARYFRIDAY, 13, 2004 FEBRUARY 13, 2004

3

Art attack

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Exhibit chooses peace over war — page 5

No pay raise for Feds staff Minimum wage hike usurps Feds raise Veronica Sexton SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

BIANCA TONG

Would you or wouldn’t you eat this food? Village 1 now has some infractions under its belt.

Food inspectors report infractions in UW residence cafeterias Allison Mullin

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

During an inspection by Region of Waterloo food inspectors in December 2003, several infractions were found at UW’s residence cafeterias, including V1 and REV. These infractions included failure to use utensils, temperature of cold foods, hand washing and cleanliness of floors, walls and ceiling. Nevertheless, Food Services wants you to know that the food you are eating at on-campus restaurants and cafeterias is probably some of the safest food in the city. Mark Murdoch, director of Food Services at UW, points out that the food inspection guidelines may be misleading for those unfamiliar with how food inspections work. For instance, food inspectors classify eating facilities as high, medium or low risk facilities, and infractions as critical or non-critical. “Residence cafeterias are deemed a high-risk facility just because so many students eat here so frequently,” noted Murdoch. “2.5 million meals are made here each year, so what may be considered a critical infraction at a residence cafeteria may not be for a low-risk facility.” He also pointed out that none of the violations required a follow-up inspection and that each one reported was corrected immediately. For instance, one of the critical infractions incurred was a fridge that had no thermometer. Although Murdoch said

that this particular fridge had no food in it that could spoil and only held things such as canned pop, a thermometer was put in the fridge quickly.

“I am confident that UW’s residence cafeterias are cleaner and safer than most restaurants people eat at.” — Mark Murdoch director of Food Services Other infractions, such as an unclean floor, can sometimes not be helped. “The floor in the V1 area is mopped before and after every rush. However, this is winter and people are wearing their wet, winter boots so it is impossible to keep clean all the time,” Murdoch pointed out. “Sometimes things like that can’t be helped. A critical infraction stated that our food was over guideline temperature but this was because it was just put in the fridge after packaging and needed a transition period to become cool again. There was no risk.” Food Services did seem to have a explanation for every infraction. A spokesperson from the Region of Waterloo Environmental Health and Lifestyle Resources Division was un-

able to comment on the validity of each rationale as she was not present at that specific health inspection and a food inspector could not be contacted. However, the spokesperson did remark that determining whether a facility is high or low risk has little to do with the number of students and more to do with the types of food handled. “Premises are classified by several factors. The main factor being if they are preparing food associated with outbreaks, such as raw meat, and how much and often that food is handled,” commented the spokeswoman. “As well, standards are the same for every facility despite the level of risk they are associated with. The food inspectors follow the same strict guidelines for every premise.” Nevertheless, Murdoch maintained that every infraction is taken seriously and is used to further educate the employees on food safety. Posters reminding employees to wash their hands and handling food properly are posted around all the kitchens. “Most of the eating facilities on campus did not incur any infractions,” said Murdoch. “I am confident that UW’s residence cafeterias are cleaner and safer than most restaurants people eat at.” The reports made by food inspectors on UW’s eating facilities and all restaurants in the Waterloo area can be found online at www.region.waterloo.on.ca/ foodinspectionreports.

The Liberal government’s increase in minimum wage makes a difference of 30 cents more per hour for Ontario’s poorest workers, but for Feds employees, it makes no difference at all. Under the current policy, part-time Feds staff receive a standard 15 cent raise for every term of service. This means that the province-wide hike in minimum salary, from $6.85 to $7.15, will be swallowing the raise returning staff would have gotten anyway. According to VP administration and finance, Dave Capper, all staff with wage rates below $7.15 will be raised to the new minimum wage, but that will be the only change made to the pay scale. “We feel insulted,” said Rachel Shugart, who has worked at the Used Bookstore since the fall term. “All of a sudden we’re back down to minimum wage,” she said. The Feds’ raise-per-term policy was

originally implemented to reward staff based on their length of service. This term, however, junior and senior employees alike will be paid a standardized salary. “Someone who started working here yesterday is getting paid the same as me,” said Shugart. “I feel I’m not being compensated for my experience.” Capper explained that when the Liberal government announced its plan for minimum wage last December, it was already too late for the Feds to adjust their pay scale. The pay increase, which came into effect at the beginning of February, comes after nearly a decade-long pay freeze, and will affect more than half a million Ontario workers. Statistics from the Ontario Ministry of Labour suggest that 490,000 workers will benefit from it. According to the Liberal plan, the minimum wage will increase each year on February 1 by a further four per cent until the basic minimum rate reaches $8 per hour in 2007.

From an optometry excursion to an elusive e-mailer

Lauren S. Breslin IMPRINT STAFF

UW’s own gambling gallery

Did you know that a number of major universities were originally funded through the lottery? Discover other interesting facts about games at the Gambling and Casino Games exhibit at UW’s own Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games. This free on-campus gallery space is housed in B.C. Matthews Hall, and features more than 5,000 gambling and parlour games, many of which have been exhibited around the world. The gallery is open to the public through to mid-April. Winter hours are Mondays through Fridays, from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. A few hundred of the games are documented online. Check them out at www.gamesmuseum.uwaterloo.ca. Engineers excel in OEC

UW engineering students captured half of the top spots at this year’s Ontario Engineering Competition. A first-place prize went to UW’s Elliot Smith and Jay Detsky for their Corporate Design entry, titled “Adaptive Delay System for Sound Reinforcement,” which proposes a new method

for synchronizing sound throughout an audience during a concert. Another first-place prize was awarded to HsiaoChien Lin in the Editorial Communications category, for writing an editorial titled, “Tactical Nuclear Weapons: The Right Direction For Nuclear Technology?” Hsiao argued that the current initiative to produce sub-kiloton nuclear weapons has inherent dangers that pose a major threat to the world. Yet another first-place prize was captured by the team of Robyn Paul, Matthew Cheung, Ksenia Golod and Jordanna Kwok for their Mobile Cardiac Emergency Medical Services Dispatcher, a system designed to collect and analyze real-time cardiac data for a user. Upon detection of a heart attack, the system sends a wireless alert message to facilitate the prompt delivery of medical assistance. E-mail outlaw eludes police

UW police are still searching for an email account selling phony Canadian identification. A few weeks ago, a suspicious Web address was brought to the attention of UW police, who then obtained a search warrant for more than 20 on-campus computer servers. University spokesman Martin Van Nierop said there was some indication that the fake identifications were being sold on campus. He also emphasized that, throughout the search, the privacy of all UW e-mail accounts will be respected. See CLIPS, page 5

Imprint news

4

ADULT ENTERTAINMENT

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

New UW club defends same-sex marriage rights Mark Johnson is optimistic about SSSM’s origins and mission

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Mark Johnson and Angela Rooke, cofounders of the Students for SameSex Marriage (SSSM) club, are determined to raise the issue of same-sex marriage as “a matter of human rights.� Although not yet an official club (having just missed the winter term deadline for registration), the members are working hard to ensure that SSSM is up and running for next term. While a logo, Web site and constitution are still under construction, Johnson says that recruiting the seven member minimum was no trouble at all. With more than a dozen willing participants even before the club was advertised, Johnson is clearly not the only student on campus with strong opinions on the issue of same-sex marriage. The club has plans to formulate petitions to send to Parliament as well as to hold lectures and discussions on the subject. Johnson emphasized his interest in involving the other student political groups on campus, claiming that SSSM has already received a “wholehearted� endorsement from the Young New Democrats. Johnson says he is confident the Young Liberals and Young Conservatives will be equally supportive. Although Ottawa has been relatively quiet on the issue of same-sex marriage recently, SSSM is sure that the upcoming federal election will make marriage rights a “hot topic.� When

JULIAN APONG

asked if he considered the subject to be in the hands of the Supreme Court, Johnson replied that “It’s fairly certain that Parliament will still take a vote on the subject before it either becomes law or is rejected. We still have ample opportunity to lobby members of Parliament to support our cause.� SSSM members have planned their first official meeting to be held Tues-

day, February 24 at 5 p.m. in room 2134 of the SLC. Information is available by contacting uw_sssm@hotmail.com. SSSM is optimistic about their future as an official UW club. If the rest of the UW campus responds with the same enthusiasm, perhaps we will soon hear Parliament saying “Sir, you may now kiss the groom.�

Imprint news

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

5

Summer school solution for university growth Ryan Chen-Wing UWRYAN . COM

MARGIE MANSELL

Children’s art was the focus of a recent exhibit at UW.

Exhibition puts children’s art on display Rachel Shugart IMPRINT STAFF

An exhibition entitled “The Art and Soul of Peace Through Humour” was on display on Wednesday, February 11 in the multi-purpose room in the SLC. It was created by Israeli schoolchildren of all different religious and ethnic backgrounds. Jewish, Christian, Muslim and Bedouin children all took part in creating the artworks. This project was began by the Israeli Education Ministry as part of the peace process in the Middle East. The exhibition’s creator, Maureen Kushner, traveled to about 30 schools in Israel while working with the children on this project. She tried to talk through the process of peace with them, “trying to get past the shallow aspects of peace […] the doves, the rainbows,” Kushner explained. She found that the original project was not “getting to the inside of the inside of peace.” Every school had a different theme, one of which was “I Was Born for Peace.” This idea, “really got the children on a roll,” and they began to come up with very different and genuine concepts. Kushner incorporates story telling from

various religions into the exhibitions, depending on the audience and their interests. Kushner was a teacher in New York for 20 years. She received her Masters in International Relations and Education from City College in New York. She created a children’s comedy club to give children in poor, drug-ridden areas a chance to express their creative sides. The Israeli government heard about her work and invited her to work with a class in Israel for two months. That turned into a few years and soon she put together a collection of art from the different schools and was showing them around Israel. A member of the Israeli Parliament showed an interest in having the exhibition at the Parliament building, and after that show the Ministry of Foreign Affairs arranged to have the work taken to the U.S. Most of the exhibitions are hung for a couple of months, but a lack of facilities in Waterloo has made this showing short. An exhibition at Laurier on Thursday, and showings at Ryerson, York and the University of Toronto sometime next week round out the exhibition’s run in Ontario. rshugart@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Clips: raffle for tuition, coffee for thought Continued from page 3 Eye spy a free tuition

A group of UW optometrists need your help. They will soon be off to Mexico, helping underprivileged people with eye care, but are in need of serious funding. So come out to the SLC on weekdays between 12:30 p.m. and 1:30 p.m. to purchase a raffle ticket and show your support. A winning ticket could win you a free term of tuition — a value of up to $4,500! The raffle will be held at midnight on Friday, March 19 at Fed Hall. Tickets are available in the SLC or by request at a6khan@hotmail.com or zcharani@scimail.uwaterloo.ca. Coffee, politics — you know, no big whoop

If you take your politics with cream and sugar, come on out to the Political Coffeehouse every Monday night between 6 and 7:30 p.m. at WLU’s Grad Pub. The Political Coffeehouse is a free weekly forum for discussion and debate that is organized by the Faculty of Social Work at WLU. Each

week a student, staff person, professor or community member will offer some “food for thought.” UW Aerospace summit featured famous Canadian astronaut

Canadian astronaut Dave Williams spoke at UW on Saturday, January 31 as part of the third annual Canadian Student Summit on Aerospace (CSSA). Williams, who once worked as an emergency physician in Waterloo Region, is a Canadian Space Agency astronaut. He told the UW audience that NASA has learned from the Spaceship Columbia disaster, and is now energized by the landing of the unmanned Opportunity and Spirit Rovers on Mars. “I lost seven close friends and three former classmates on Columbia STS 107,” Williams told the audience. “But there’s no question in my mind that the Columbia crew would want us to continue to explore space.” The summit was jointly hosted by the University of Waterloo and the Canadian Aeronautics and Space Institute. lbreslin@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

In reaction to rising demand for a university education, an increasing university-age population and to accommodate the double-cohort, the government has been partly funding investment in infrastructure, like new buildings to provide more spaces for more students. Ontario universities underestimated the extent of this growth in demand and thence enrolment. This means, to accommodate students, even more spaces must be created at universities. Full-time undergraduate enrolment in Ontario two years ago was 225,319. Ontario University Application Centre predicts next year’s enrolment will exceed 291,000, a projected increase of 29 per cent over three years. Instead of taking a traditional approach to expanding spaces with buildings, the government and universities should accept a cheaper option for enrolment growth. One such option is to increase operations when most existing university buildings are empty or underused — in the summer. At University of Waterloo, most students

accept attending school in the summer as a part of the co-op program, but other schools need to accept this change as a more efficient way of using their infrastructure. Director of business operations Bud Walker told me that the traditional reason for having a break from school came from the need for workers to participate in agriculture. Since few of us are farmers any longer, this reason doesn’t hold. The benefits are not just in more efficient use of buildings and other infrastructure, but in other aspects. There would be a more stable market for businesses around universities and a more even demand in housing. Furthermore, having students studying at university in the summer means that those students will be renting in the summer and filling empty houses, instead of pressuring the housing supply in the fall and winter. This solution requires the government provide operating funds for paying faculty and staff to offer courses and services in the spring term. With government restrictions on tuition and on operating grants, the government keeps a lid on universities’ two main revenue sources. Universities already need more funding and will continue to need more to educate a higher number of students. Merely educating more students might not be as attractive to politicians as paying for part of a building and getting the photo-op of cutting the ribbon, but it will be a better solution as enrolment continues to grow. rchen-wing@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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OPINION 6

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Imprint is published by Imprint Publications Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1 opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

The gift of… blood? CLAUDIA BRAUN

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, thoughts of love are on many people’s minds. There are many ways to express love to your sweetie, to be sure. However, what can compete with the gift that “is forever”— the diamond? You may not realize that when buying this symbol of love, you are indeed buying a symbol of blood. Buzz about “blood diamonds” (also termed “conflict diamonds”) has been in the air for some time, but not many of us have time to read up on all the information. Here are some quick facts about what conflict diamonds are and what you can do to ensure that you do not support the murder of innocent people. Facts: Diamonds are a large natural resource in countries such as Sierra Leone, the Democratic Republic of Congo and Angola. These countries are also engaged in armed conflict. Diamonds smuggled from these countries create funding for the killers (namely, rebel armies who are fighting their respective governments) to buy more weapons.

Millions of innocent civilians have been killed, tortured, mutilated and driven off their land by rebel armies. In March 2002, governments and industry agreed to create an international tracking and certification system (known as the Kimberley Process) in an effort to get conflict diamonds off the market.

I would feel a lot better receiving a diamond that doesn’t smell like blood...

Unfortunately, the new system fails to require independent inspection of the diamond trade and it is very easy for countries to self-declare their diamonds as “clean,” even when they are not. Therefore, conflict diamonds are still able to infiltrate the market and there is no way to distinguish these diamonds by appearance alone. Until the diamond trade is subject to mandatory, impartial moni-

toring, there is no effective guarantee that all conflict diamonds will be identified and removed from the market. What you can do: Buy your diamonds from Canada. Canadian diamonds are mined in the Northwest Territories, and this is one alternative to ensure that your diamond purchase does not support conflict. See http://canadiandiamonds.20m.com/ for more details. Find an alternative to buying diamonds! There are many other ways to express your love that can mean so much more and cost a lot less. Take action. Also see the Web site http://www.amnesty.ca/ realsecurity/conflictdiamonds.htm and http://www.amnestyusa.org/ diamonds/d4.html. Keep your eye out for future displays in the SLC about how Amnesty can help you make a difference in the world. For instance, next week we will be exploring the issue of child soldiers. Hopefully now you feel more prepared for Valentine’s Day and can make an informed decision as a consumer. Personally, as a girl, I know I would feel a lot better receiving a diamond that doesn’t smell like blood… I’m sure your girl will feel the same.

Gabe Kempe

IN SEARCH OF

Friday, February 6, 2004

— Vol. 26, No. 25

Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief, Christine Baker editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Assistant Editor, Lauren Breslin Cover Editor, Dan Micak News Editor, Bianca Tong News Assistant, Mark Stratford Opinion Editor, Sarah Allmendinger Opinion Assistant, Phil Weiner Features Editor, Tim Alamenciak Features Assistant, Sarah Lau Arts Editor, Matt Charters Arts Assistant, Garick Stevenson Science Editor, Eli Denham Science Assistant, Azadeh Samadi Sports Editor, Adam McGuire Sports Assistant, Rod McLachlan Photo Editor, Margie Mansell Photo Assistant, Rebecca Zhou Graphics Editor, Julian Apong Graphics Assistant, Jeff Tran

Web Editor, Matt Lee Web Assistant, Hitoshi Murakami Systems Administrator, Ross Jordan Systems Assistant, Matthew Cheung Lead Proofreader, Dean Whelton Proofreader, Jonathan Chiu Proofreader, Kristina Jarvis Proofreader, Simon Yarrow Proofreader, vacant Office Staff General manager, Catherine Bolger cathy.bolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & production manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising assistant, vacant Distribution, Hitoshi Murakami Distribution, Chandra Mouli Volunteer co-ordinator, vacant

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Dating — trial and error or trial by fire? Christine Baker FACTS OF LIFE Like most of us, I learned the facts of life from my parents including the standard “when two people love each other very much” speech. I even had to sit through an awkward, fumbling explanation after my sister asked what a blow job was at the dinner table. Like most of us though, I learned to navigate my way through the ups and downs of love the hard way — on my own. At some point in our lives, the trials and tribulations of love and romance become a constant — even if we aren’t dating, we usually wish we were. It all starts out innocently enough — trying to figure out if people like like you or just like you. Passing notes to find out if they like you as more than just friends. Getting your friends to ask their friends if they like you. Fortunately, we overcome that stage and can, for the most part, avoid having our friends run interference for us, or passing notes to know where we stand. Once we can finally stand on our own two feet and are ready to move forward into real relationships, we have to learn the ways of love by trial and error. Or trial by fire, depending on your personal experiences. I learned that life often falls short of our grand expectations and media induced delusions of what love is. It’s great that we swoon over the relationships we see in romantic comedies and cheesy sitcoms, but real life

isn’t like that. How many of us can claim that our first kiss was really passionate? Awkward may be more accurate. Or our first relationship really deep and emotional? More like a lot of talking on the phone and making out at parties. Or our “first time” truly intimate and romantic? Not quite. Obviously, the best part about these sub-par experiences is that they help you to figure out what you are really looking for in a relationship. And it’s nice to be able to look back and laugh. I learned to deal with the end of relationships the hard way, too. For me, the end of my first “real” relationship wasn’t a tearful, mutually agreedupon parting of ways. It wasn’t because the spark was gone. Nope. The fact is that finding your loved one making out with someone else will pretty much end it. Especially when he is making out with your best friend. At your house. It sucked. But at least I was stronger for the experience — or pretended to be, anyway. And at least I took great solace in the fact that the two of them crashed and burned shortly afterwards and he came crawling back. Denied. Apparently I also learned how to be vindictive and mean — all part of the dating package I guess. Despite all these potentially scaring experiences, I have certainly learned some good things along my way to finding love — like appreciating the good things when they come. I learned the best way that Easter cream eggs left in your car on Valentine’s Day beats the hell out of overtly romantic heart shaped anything. Anytime. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Association (OCNA).

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Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

7

Letters Corrie accident To the editor, As a non-partisan individual, I feel it is important for me to say that I think the article entitled “Palestine event exploited emotions” was a great piece that should cause any academic (which all of us supposedly are) to reconsider the “facts” presented at the speech and investigate on his or her own. If you do, you’ll see that nothing about this case points to murder in any way. Rachel Corrie was “bullfighting” a bulldozer for several hours before her death and she was doing so in a military zone that was closed because it was dangerous (would you walk into a fenced off demolition zone?). Furthermore, she climbed up a pile of dirt as it was in the process of being moved, went all the way up and over the bulldozer blade and disappeared from view. The driver, distracted by all the protesters and militants in the vicinity of the house (you didn’t think it was just Corrie and the bulldozer did you?) lost sight of her and she was run over as the driver backed up, reasonably assuming that the girl who had been in front of his bulldozer seconds before had fallen in front of the blade when in fact she had fallen behind it. It’s unfortunate, but he was just trying to free her, thinking she was trapped in the pile of dirt in front of the blade. It never occurred to him that she could be behind it. It was a tragic accident, but accidents happen in demolition all the time. If you do investigate further, which

l letters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca I feel is all Ms. Breslin wants you to do, you’ll see that Rachel Corrie was a lost soul whose actions were so unbelievable that I could just as easily call her death a suicide as the Students for Palestinian Rights (SFPR) can call it murder. While detractors have tried to counter this article by picking on minute details, ignoring the main idea of the article — research your own opinions, don’t blindly believe others’ — the truth is, Ms. Breslin is absolutely justified in writing this because the SFPR consistently uses emotions to hide the reality that their cause is not supported by facts. This was the case with Finkelstein in the summer (Hmmmm... Jew-hating Jew — instant credibility!!!) and this was the case with the Corries. The weak responses to this article, such as Alroy Fonseca’s, Liam Trimm’s and Hasnein Jeraj’s, centred on the fact that the Corries themselves never called it “murder,” which is true. However, the moderator’s introduction calling her a “hero murdered in cold blood by an occupation bulldozer,” to paraphrase, made it abundantly clear that the Corries weren’t brought in to speak about job site accidents. — James Moore 2B Arts Got Milk, Yo? To the editor, I can’t believe what I just witnessed on the good old boob tube at 1:21 a.m. on Wednesday, Feb 11 (well, actually,

any university student knows that 1:21 am is still considered early Tuesday night). Picture this: dairy cows, overweight white emcee’s (Fat Johnathan and Ol’ Dirty Brian), hoed-out farm chicks, and gangsta rap. That’s right, gangsta rap is being used to promote milk. This amazing commercial ended with the unforgettable phrase, “there’s nothing cooler,” or some shit like that. A milk commercial that’s only suitable to be played after hours, because of the explicit lyrics and nudity. I don’t even have to elaborate, all I have to ask is: who’s the fucking idiot who came up with this idea? —Eric Wong 4B Kinesiology Israel Arab art exhibit To the editor, I visited an art exhibit by Arab and Israeli, Muslim, Christian, Jewish and Druze children focussing on Peace in the Middle East that was put on display by the Jewish Students’ Association and the Waterloo-Israel Political Affairs Club (WIPAC) this week. I must say, this was a positive change from the controversial materials that are typically presented on this topic. Because of the WIPAC logo on the posters, I was a little worried to attend, especially after reading in Imprint about how scared people were to visit the SLC during Palestine week. My fears were calmed when I heard the creator of the exhibit, Maureen Kushner, speak because peace was clearly the theme. The look on her face

and the happiness in her voice as she commented on the paintings (such as the “Peace Bus,” depicting a bus bringing children from Iraq, Iran, Syria, Jordan, Egypt and Palestine to Israel for a picnic) showed you that she truly believed that peace is possible. This exhibit displayed a great message that we need to hear more from both factions on campuses everywhere. Quoting Mathew Plant, president of the WIPAC, “everyone is sick of hearing everyone blame each other for the violence. Let’s just stop playing the blame game and start working towards peace.” As Kushner says, “it’s all about coming together.” I’m glad to see one of the groups finally taking the high road and I hope that this club will continue to offer a departure from the usual bickering of which we are all sick. If this event serves as a barometer for the future, then this club is going to breathe a much needed new life and perspective into this endless debate, and for this I am incredibly thankful; No Concordia Part II, not at my UW. — Warren Novis 4B Engineering Ontario politics problems To the editor, The years go by, but the loonies persist. Such is the only explanation for the factually wrong and hopelessly illogical letter to the editor by Christopher Porter which appeared last week, in regards to Mike Kerrigan’s

column entitled “Premier liar.” The PC Party was not removed from office for any so-called neglect of health care, the environment, or anything else. For one thing, its hard to see how huge increases in per capita spending — $17 to $28 billion in health care alone — can be lambasted by people like Porter as “neglect.” Next time, he should check the real, verifiable record, rather than just spout off the convenient fiction he prefers to believe. No, the Tories were turfed from office because the Liberals ran a much better campaign. Yet all throughout they insisted they wouldn’t raise taxes and wouldn’t run a deficit — which shows you how important these things are to Ontarians — but that they’d magically find all this other money to spend. They fooled Ontarians into thinking they could have their cake and eat it too. And now, only a few months later, surprise surprise, they’re breaking promises all over the place. Now say what you will about the PCs — at least they did what they said they would. Vive la difference. As for the NDP, I’d remind Mr.Porter that it is the failed tax- andspend policies of his socialist brethren that forced people like Mike Harris to deal with the fiscal nightmares and massive budget deficits in the first place. But hey, when you’re so far out of touch with reality you can’t win eight seats, I suppose economic literacy is a bit too much to ask for. Aaron Lee-Wudrick - 4N Economics and Political Science

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Imprint opinion

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Michelle Titus TOUCHED This Valentine’s Day I am in an unfamiliar situation, the flip side of the coin: I’m actually taken. Now the question arises, does my opinion on this calendar day change (from what was outlined in last year’s article, “Cinnamon heart-on time”) or do I keep the same position? Well, originally I hadn’t expected to even deal with the issue, planning to be in the air flying to an exotic locale. But now, the trip booked doesn’t leave until the following day. So, I am required to re-investigate my feelings and determine what I expect. In no way, shape or form do I want to conform to typical cheesy standards of expensive roses, a nice restaurant and a kiss goodnight. What I crave on this day for lovers is much more: raw oral sex. That’s right — I want to get flicking, sucking, licking, slurping, body trembling oral sex and give it too. On a day devoted to love, what better way to display your attraction than going down on your partner? Especially considering the many positive points to this gift:

1. It’s free (unless interesting toys are incorporated) 2. It’s timeless (you can go on and on, with breaks as needed) 3. Satisfaction is guaranteed (well unless you’re bad, but with time improvement will cum) 4. It’s good exercise (you both get a work-out) 5. It’s intimate (you can’t get much closer than exploring naughty places with your tongue) Some may argue that they get oral sex regularly which deteriorates its value when used to celebrate. However, merely because it is accessible doesn’t mean that it cannot be used and even heightened on Valentine’s Day. Offering oral sex can be a very selfless act if no return is expected. Imagine your partner giving you head and refusing a return, it is so sexy! This is also a great opportunity to try new things: wrap his dick in a fruit roll-up, drizzle her cunt with chocolate, have porn on while you devour, spice things up to make the experience extra special. While I say that I ache for some intense oral, I would be lying if I claimed that’s all I wanted. Deep down I hope for it to be complimented with kisses and maybe a cute surprise or little gift to commemorate the day (the second round would include a sound fuck and some cuddling). Another great thing about oral sex

is that it is not restricted to couples. Interestingly oral sex seems to be on a lower rung than intercourse, which continues to baffle me. The number of times I’ve asked friends who have gone home with someone from a bar if they got it on and they reply, “no, I just sucked him off,” or “well, I went down on her,” is remarkable. Apparently, many feel that putting your mouth in these personal areas is not as serious as intercourse. Personally I feel that a greater attachment should be required before going below but I guess an emotional aspect is introduced for many with sex. Regardless of whether you prefer having sex or giving head while single, it is a fantastic option to chase away the loneliness blues. An even safer option is masturbating. Instead of loving someone else, love yourself and whack off or “she-bop it”(as my cuz says). This Valentine’s Day whether you are single or taken make a vow to obtain sexual satisfaction. I recommend oral sex, but suit yourselves. For those of you who have been tentative about oral sex in the past I urge you to give it a go. Rather than wasting money on ridiculously priced flowers, let’s invest in our sexual growth and well-being. Be safe, be inquisitive, be open. Happy Valentine’s Day. mtitus@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

This space for rant Don’t let UW be the latest victim to the non-ethics of advertising

Mark Stratford BIG EARS BURNING In Grade 10, my English teacher told us to get into groups and do Shakespeare presentations. My group did a commercial for “Hamlet Ham,” in which one student played a restaurant patron dining on the salty pig meat, while my best friend played a drooling old yenta watching from another table and showing desperate longing to try the ham through overwrought hand gestures and such dialogue as “Oy, I wish I could have some!” The final line was “Hamlet Ham — even Jews can’t resist!” We thought it was funny. The class thought it was funny. I’d like to think Larry David would have thought it was funny. The teacher did not think it was funny. The next day she pulled us aside and lectured that “some people” may have been offended by our performance. We later learned that she was Jewish, and that by “some people” she meant herself. Okay, I’ll admit it’s terrible that we offended her, but what did

she expect? It’s advertising! Advertising is one of the most corrupt, thoughtless, homogenized, creatively bankrupt means of communication and artistic expression. The purpose of advertising, of course, is to shill some useless product or service, but it has now become a requisite to condescend to the right audience so blatantly with antiquated stereotypes that the most jaded of the bunch get lured in. Plus, skajillions of dollars are spent every year on making people feel physically, socially and emotionally needy of things they can do without. And my friend is to beat himself up over his well-intentioned ode to non-gentiles? Puh-lease. We’re all products of our environment, and if your childhood was anything like mine, it was full of TV commercials for gender-specific toys, all of which worked hard to emphasize the clear-cut defining characteristics of the two sexes — namely, that boys play with G.I. Joe and can withstand several concussions without flinching, whereas girls play with Barbie and shit pink polka dots. As we get older, we get wiser to the impact these messages have, but the ideologies remain and we adhere to them. (Any of my bruthas out there got Rainbow Brite waitin’ at home for ya? Didn’t

think so.) Furthermore, we are now old enough to recognize the other little nuggets of wisdom advertisers like to trot out: only women need to care about which household cleaner works best, men are hopeless at raising children and, oh yes, you know those interracial and homosexual couples you thought existed? Well, they don’t (although gays may appear as mincing hairdressers for comic effect). By standards like these, our “Hamlet Ham” skit was not only suitable, it was the missing link in what could still be a very successful ad campaign. Business students wishing to fund this venture can line up on the left. Even in university, we don’t know where the line is until it is crossed — repeatedly. Last month, Imprint published a letter written by UW’s Womyn’s Centre denouncing an ad for a Feds event that depicted a woman’s cleavage peaking out over the top of a birthday cake. An unnecessary image, true, but that same issue saw the debut of an ad for a giveaway to Daytona Beach featuring a buff topless guy in it. Where was the feedback for that? As a big fat flabby Joe, I found that ad just as offensive as the Womyn’s Centre found those boobs. See ADVERTISING, page 10

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

A toast to the career musicians Arda Ocal OUR HOUSE I’ve talked with a lot of bands and musicians in the past couple of years; about driving the roads, playing the worst of gigs, waiting for hours at a venue just to play (well, they get to drink as they wait — I always wondered how people could play better drunk). Contrary to what we might think, it’s quite the tough life being a musician. But through my conversations I’ve definitely learned one thing — if you have a passion and if you never make it “big,� you can still make a fine living from music. Most of the musicians I’ve talked to don’t have American record deals which give them constant exposure across the continent. They are local heroes, journeymen, those who refuse to quit when faced with mainstream anonymity. The potential is always there to break out, but these folks just enjoy where they are right now. To those folks, there is money in music and they are making it. Take the musicians that come to the Bomber, for example. Many of us might have never heard of Danny Michel (who played the Bomber on February 6), because he’s not number one on the weekend Top Thirty. But he is an example of a musician who has made a life out of music — he writes music, sells CDs, tours and gets paid to play and helps other bands produce music — music is his career and a self-sustaining one at that. Sure, music can be an unpredictable business (will you get another gig after today?) But a lot of musicians are also caught in a paradigm where they only see money in CDs and live shows, forgetting about other venues of

music. The Mudmen (who played the Bomber on January 30) have ventured into playing music for videos and DVDs, highlighted by composing music for Don Cherry’s Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em 9 video. To be a career musician, you must also love to travel. And travel to the most remote places — you must enjoy the roads the way a truck driver enjoys the roads (unless you cut him off). Many times I’ve heard musicians say “I play Waterloo tonight then I travel to [Thunder Bay, Sudbury, Nova Scotia] the next day.� These folks spend time away from their families and friends for the sake of entertaining a different group of strangers in a foreign town every night. They are music junkies, those who feel a feeling we might not understand when performing; they live off the reactions of the crowd to their productions (some say it’s like being high). You really have to have a passion for music. It’s not like a program at university, where your intentions might be split between “I was good at this in high school� and “it will get me money in the future.� You have to love making music. It’s the fundamental necessity of a career musician. Craig Cardiff (who will play the Bomber on February 27) is in love with music to the point where he offers house party organizers to contact him to play a living room show (and he doesn’t need to do something like this to get his name out there). So if this sounds like you, I say, do yourself a favour — make songs, make a CD, send it to as many college stations as you can (trust me, it works — and sign up to talent searches too!), and start playing shows. Test yourself now, and you’ll thank yourself later. It takes time, but if you’d rather live your dream than to live through a formulaic standard career, then it might just make you happier in the end.

9

Homosexuality in classical Greek history Aaron Cowan UNDEFEATED No doubt about it, the story of Alexander the Great has endured the tests of time; to this day he remains one of the greatest legends of gay history. In fact, I would argue that next to Oscar Wilde, Alexander the Great could be the most famous figure in gay history. With that being said, there are two problems that arise when one labels the king of the Macedonian throne as a homosexual. First, while many seem to assert that the ruler of ancient Greece was gay, few actually possess enough evidence to support their claims. Secondly, since the terms “gay� and “homosexual� did not actually exist in ancient Grecian society, it is therefore impossible to label Alexander’s sexuality under such terms. What we know for sure of Alexander the Great was that throughout the majority of his life, he and another man (named Hephaestion) were the best of

BAR FLIES

friends. Both brilliant boys, they were tutored by Aristotle from an early age and often read from the Iliad, Alexander’s favourite book. Enlisting in his army, Hephaestion served under Alexander (no pun intended!) for years as a regular cavalry soldier, slowly rising through the ranks based purely on merit and military performance alone. When Alexander’s army defeated Persia, the Grecian ruler married the defeated king’s daughter for purely political purposes. Hephaestion then married the Persian princess’ sister since he and Alexander wanted their children to be cousins. Besides his marriage to the Persian princess, it is believed that Alexander had wed women two times prior and had an assortment of male lovers. At this point I should make something clear. At the time of Alexander the Great, men and women were allowed to share their beds with either males or females. In fact, the ancient Greeks viewed homo-eroticism as a mere choice, rather than an entire psychological disposition. (Ironically enough, this is the exact argument that today’s gay community is striving to disprove.) Nevertheless, based on historical writings, it seems that Alex-

ander the Great’s interest in both men and women was considered very normal for the time in which he lived. For many, Hephaestion’s sudden death following Alexander’s defeat of Asia seems to be the main evidence to support the claim that Alexander was gay. After learning of the loss of his best friend, Alexander’s grief as immense. Unable to control his massive grief for the death of Hephaestion, Alexander ransacked entire districts in an attempt to assuage his anguish. Obviously from this we could assume that Alexander truly loved his friend. But can we also assume that they also did the “nasty� in the army barracks? Not likely. As far as I am concerned, there isn’t enough hard evidence to prove that Alexander the Great was in fact a homosexual in the way in which we use the term today. Instead, there seems to be a wide variety of theories floating around about the presumed gender with which Alexander preferred to share his bed. Nevertheless, I must argue that we cannot expect to use modern terms for sexual orientation to explain something from the ancient world. acowan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Ian Blechschmidt

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Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Hockey rights in Canada Mike Kerrigan SOBER THOUGHTS If in the future I were asked to pick a day when racial discrimination stopped being a meaningful problem in Canada, I might choose the day after Don Cherry made his controversial comments on Hockey Night in Canada. Don Cherry is known for his brash talk and harsh criticism, but he managed to offend the political class’ sensibilities when he claimed that the majority of people wearing visors in the National Hockey League are “Europeans and French guys,” setting off a torrent of criticism from government officials. Things have gone so far that the official languages commissioner has launched an investigation into the statement to determine if the CBC has failed to respect the Official Languages Act. Any society that can afford to expend so much energy condemning such a relatively innocuous statement must have few serious racial problems to contend with. A few commentators have labelled this conflict a fight about freedom of speech, but free speech really doesn’t apply. Cherry doesn’t have any right to say what he wants on the air; he’s hired to do a job. If the CBC wants to limit what he says they have every right to do so. The issue isn’t completely clear-cut; the CBC

is Canada’s state-run media network, giving the government the power to influence its content. The nature of the beast is that competing interests within the government feel they have the right to battle for as much control as they can get over the network’s message. So long as Canadians are comfortable paying the government to define for us what it means to be “Canadian,” these conflicts will occasionally flare up and make headlines. Of greater concern is the fact that some government officials don’t seem to understand that outside their CBC playground, the influence should stop. Jean Augustine, the junior minister for multiculturalism, made the Orwellian statement that, “the government will not tolerate statements that create dissonance in our society and disrespect for others.” I’m not entirely sure what she means by this; I assume she isn’t looking to shut down Parliament — which is rife with these types of statements during question period — but rather hoping to protect the multicultural rainbow coalition from ever having to be offended. To that end, she’s received a little help from a recent British Columbia Supreme Court decision. The court upheld the suspension of a teacher that was based on letters he submitted to local papers that criticized homosexuals. Although no complaints were ever submitted against him and despite the fact that he has a long and unblemished teaching career and a notable record of community service, the British Columbia College of Teachers decided that he had no right to make discriminatory statements off-the-job and retain his position as a

Advertising: the devil’s tool

teacher. The court agreed. Mind you, it’s not entirely unreasonable to have a statement made outside a job affect that job. Certainly a teacher espousing the benefits of man-boy love at a North American Man Boy Love Association meeting should not be left in a position of power over children. But in this case no evidence was given that his statements had any negative impact on his role as a teacher and the court only required a “reasonable apprehension of harm.” Furthermore, a main concern was that his writings did not reflect the core values of the educational system, something he apparently has no right to separate himself from when off-the-job. Most distressing is the court’s ruling that the right to freedom of expression under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms does not extend to any type of discriminatory beliefs. According to the court, “discriminatory speech is incompatible with the search for truth.” In other words, only politically correct discourse is allowable under the law. While the media focused on Don Cherry and his right to make an off-colour remark or two while on the air, a more significant battle was lost over the freedom of expression Canadians can enjoy. Although few would like to see homosexuals criticized, the decision of the BC Supreme Court so broadly restricted the legally acceptable range of discussion that any disgruntled minority group can threaten legal action if it feels offended. And I bet the Europeans and French like it that way. mkerrigan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Continued from page 8

I realize that women are portrayed negatively in ads far more often than men, but if we’re talking inappropriate advertising, we must look from both sides. Besides, big breasts and buff bods aren’t necessarily beautiful. Am I the only one who wants to see John Goodman do a spot for Bally’s fitness? And yes, I know I am. Over the past few weeks, you have probably noticed a different kind of ad plastered every which way — those of the candidates that ran in this year’s Feds election (by the way, the results are announced the same day this paper comes out, so congratulations, whoever you are). Selling one’s self is just about the tackiest thing a person can do, but it’s by and large a politician’s job and I’m sure this year’s nominees were damn good at it. I just really hope that, unlike in so much advertising, we actually get exactly what we’ve seen of the victors, whoever they are. Judging by the States, honesty plays some part in the voyage to re-election; one thing I’ll say about Dubya is that he doesn’t lie or reserve his innermost intentions for his time in office. He’s an asshole, pure and simple! So to the new Feds leaders (whoever you are), I have just one thing to say: Stay true to your word. Prove the (non-)ethics of ads to be wrong. And to the students, if you feel cheated by what your leaders do, don’t cop out like my English teacher did. Make sure your leaders know that it’s you who is dissatisfied — not “some people.” mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

NOTICE OF MEETING Imprint Publications, Waterloo is holding its ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING on

Thursday, February 26, 2004 at 2:30pm

in the Multi-Purpose Room of the Student Life Centre 200 University Ave. W., Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1 THE PROPOSED AGENDA FOR THE MEETING IS AS FOLLOWS: 1. OPENING REMARKS FROM THE PRESIDENT 2. PRESENTATION OF FINANCIAL STATEMENTS, 2003/2004 3. APPOINTING THE 2004/2005 AUDITOR 4. PRESENTATION OF THE 2004/2005 BUDGET 5. BY-LAW AMENDMENTS TO SECTIONS 7.07 AND 7.17* 6. POLICY AMENDMENT RATIFICATION** 7. ELECTION OF THE 2004/2005 BOARD OF DIRECTORS 8. ADJOURNMENT * Proposed amendments to Imprint’s By-law are listed below. ** Proposed policy amendments are available in the Imprint office, SLC room 1116, or on Imprint’s Web

site, http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca.

Questions? Contact president Andrew Dilts by e-mail at president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca, or by phone at (519) 888-4048.

Proposed By-law amendments 7.07 Voting Save as otherwise provided herein, each member shall be entitled to one vote per motion at all meetings of members. Members may vote through a duly authorized proxy. No member may hold more than one proxy vote at any meeting of the membership of Imprint Publications, Waterloo. 7.17 Proxies Every member entitled to vote at meetings of members may by means of a proxy appoint a person, who need not be a member, as his nominee, to attend and act at the meeting in the manner, to the extent and with the power conferred by the proxy. A proxy shall be in writing, shall be executed by the member entitled to vote or his attorney authorized in writing and ceases to be valid one year from its date. A proxy may be in such form as the Board prescribes or in such other form as the Chair of the meeting accepts as sufficient. Such proxy shall include the name, phone number, student identification and signature of the member. A proxy shall be delivered to the Secretary no later than two (2) days prior to the meeting at which the proxy will be exercised. No member may hold more than one proxy vote at any meeting of the membership of Imprint Publications, Waterloo.

FEATURES

Imprint features

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

13

Need for Speed Underground reviewed

features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

—Page 13

Mediterraneo’s Greek cuisine impresses

Kourtney Short RESTAURANT REVIEW

Mediterraneo 425 University Avenue East 519-569-8100 In recent years, Greek food has joined Italian food as a staple of chain and family-style restaurants with no particular cultural identity. Although its location in a strip mall might suggest otherwise, Mediterraneo transcends this category, offering some genuinely interesting Greek dishes at affordable prices. Our waiter seated us near the back of the restaurant, beside a window that faces into the parking lot. Above our table were small, hanging lights whose subtle illumination was overpowered by the streetlights, a reminder of the restaurant’s location. The list of appetizers includes several familiar options, such as fried calamari, stuffed grape leaves and hummus. We decided to sample one we had not tried before, taramasalata ($3.95), a fish roe-based spread. A later search of Greek cookbooks revealed that there are two main variations on

taramasalata, with either mashed potatoes or stale bread providing substance and mellowing out the strong taste of the roe. When the dish arrived, it was clear which variety was present: the taramasalata looked like a fluffy pink pile of mashed potatoes, or perhaps strawberry ice cream, a kalamata olive on top contributing to the sundae illusion. The dip was oniony and lightly fishy, a perfect complement to the warm pocketless pitas that came alongside it. An extensive list of entrées has choices to satisfy everyone, with pasta, fish, meat and vegetarian options. Unable to choose just one, we decided to share the Mediterraneo platter ($29.95 for two people), which includes a generous portion of lamb chops, pork and chicken souvlaki, roast potatoes, moussaka, rice and vegetables. (For more decisive patrons, the items on the platter are all available individually.) The lamb chops were tender and mildly garlicky. The server did not ask how we would like them done and if I were to return I would ask for them medium-rare as opposed to the welldone that emerged. They were nonetheless excellent. My companion could not get enough of the lemony roast potatoes. When he said as much to our waiter, he offered to bring extra. In general, the service was fast and friendly. The platter did not come with tzatziki, but when asked, our waiter

Students talk bad on smoking

brought us several small containers of it at no extra charge. A generous dose of this thick, garlicky spread addressed the dryness of the pork and chicken souvlaki nicely. Moussaka consists of layers of eggplant, ground meat and béchamel sauce (flour-thickened milk sauce). Mediterraneo’s version was less greasy than others I have tried, and tasted pleasantly of nutmeg. The rice seemed rather superfluous with all the other food on the platter, but I sampled a mouthful — it tasted primarily of bouillon cubes. It was about the only thing that remained when my companion and I were done with the platter. We also shared a half litre of the house white ($11.95), a Greek wine that was aromatic like a Riesling but more acidic and quite dry. It complemented our dishes nicely. Dessert options were generic, including cheesecake and variations on the death-by-chocolate theme, but we stuck to Greek specialties and tried the baklava ($4.94). This thick slab of nuts, pastry and syrup required a steak knife to cut. It definitely did not live up to the quality of the rest of the meal. The platter has left me eager to try the remaining dishes on Mediterraneo’s menu. With our bill coming in under $60, I am sure I will have the chance. kshort@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Grace Yeung and Andrew Kurc man a booth in the SLC devoted to informing students of the dangers of smoking. Leave the Pack Behind is a country-wide education initiative operating on a multitude of campuses. The group is running a contest during February inviting smokers to quit, and non-smokers to just plain stay away. For more information on exactly how and why tobacco hurts you, grab some colourful pamphlets at their booth, or visit www.leavethepackbehind.org.

TIM ALAMENCIAK

The importance of preparation

Luc d’Abadie

TIM ALAMENCIAK

Mediterraneo serves up great Greek cuisine.

On my first day of Grade 3 my teacher announced to the class, “Class, you will be getting added responsibility this year since you’re all becoming big kids.” Before the class of seven-yearolds even had time to get excited, she threw in the catch, “You will be expected to do one hour of homework every night.” It was a daunting day for every kid in the class. It marked a change from our comfortable world of colouring, drawing, doodling and recess into the harsh realities of the real world. Some kids manage to avoid homework for a few more years, but it would only be a matter of time before every kid would fall to the plight of doing work at home after school. It was only a few days ago that I was up late doing research for a job interview I had the following morning. Here I am almost 15 years later and I’m still doing homework. My Grade 3 teacher would be proud. Before you drive to Montréal you find out how far it is, which roads to take, where to get a good Montréal

smoked meat sandwich and you practise your français. Before you ask your new girlfriend to play baseball, you find out if her father owns a shotgun, what her brother can bench and if she has any aggressive ex-boyfriends. Before you buy a new car, you find out what’s under the hood, how it handles in the snow, what your neighbour paid for theirs, and if your partner likes the colour. It may not be three plus four or how to spell ‘special’ or ‘butterfly’ anymore, but it is still homework. Only the content has changed. To make things more complicated, unlike when you were in grade school, nobody checks to see if you did your coursework and assignments or how thorough of a job you did. However, just like in grade school, there are still consequences for not completing it. “Ignorance is bliss,” “I’ll figure it out when I get there,” and “I’ll just wing it” are all phrases written on the foreheads of those who don’t do their homework. These people are everywhere. They sat beside you in grade school, and they sit beside you today. You know ... The ones who ask you at your own house party, “Do you know who lives here?” The ones who sign up for the

science-fiction literature class and then are surprised that there are no hotties in the class. The ones who get a great deal on a non-returnable couch, and after dragging it home realize it is too big to fit through the front doorway. Harvey Mackay, one of my favourite authors, tells a story in his book Sharkproof about what he did before an interview on Larry King Live , “I did a customer profile on King himself. I read and reread his book Tell It to The King. I called his secretary. I called friends of his across the country for every scrap of information, professional and personal, I could find on him. I hired a local DJ to conduct mock interviews. I listened to King every night for 18 straight nights until my scheduled appearance.” Harvey gets an ‘A’ for effort on his homework. How do you think he did in the interview? Some of us love school; others count down the days until it is done. Homework may have started in Grade 3, but it doesn’t end at graduation. Call it a background check, investigating, being prepared, research, due diligence, or homework; you’d better get started it’s due tomorrow. Like grade school, if you don’t do your homework, everyone will be staring at you when it comes time for you to spell your word.

Imprint features

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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Goat sales rise in Mali with Tabaski Cari Mason

12° NORTH As it is not exactly an ideal vacation spot, most of you are probably wondering what the hell I am doing here in Mali. And honestly, since arriving, I have occasionally wondered the same thing myself. The only way I can really explain it is by saying that an opportunity presented itself and, not being eager to spend another four months suffering the hardships of a cold Canadian winter, I took it. So here I am, a Casper-white anglophone, struggling to improve my French just 12 degrees north of the equator. “Sunday is Tabaski,” the man beside me informs me. “Excuse me?” I ask, confused. The word sounds like the name for an “alternative” tobacco, which I was pretty sure was strictly frowned upon by the Muslim religion. “The goats, they are for the celebration of Tabaski on Sunday.” I look around. There are goats everywhere. The swarms that fill the markets seem to be multiplying, overflowing the markets and filling the

streets, spilling onto the sidewalks and crowding the roads. They can be seen with their owners watching the soccer game, they are with their owners in the local pubs — I guess this should have struck me as odd, but in my jetlagged state I’ve stayed busy just trying to keep from falling into the open sewers that line the streets. “What is Tabaski?” I ask, curious now that I have realized that the people of Bamako, the capital of Mali, intended to reclaim their streets from the goats. “It is the celebration of Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son if that be the will of his God, Allah. Everyone is buying goats for Sunday’s feast.” To me, it kind of sounds like their version of Christmas and suddenly I’m thinking turkey. Mmmm, turkey... The man turns to go but leaves me with one parting thought: “I’d watch where I walk on Sunday, the streets will be awash with blood.” My stomach turns at the notion, but the real gravity of the situation doesn’t sink in until a few minutes later when I realize there are no real butcher shops in Mali. Without the luxury of refrigeration, thousands of goats will be slaughtered en masse on Sunday to be eaten immediately as the holiday meal. The humour of my own personal joke of buying a goat quickly diminishes as I realize that meat

doesn’t come shrink-wrapped on Styrofoam plates here. Celebrated throughout Muslim nations, Tabaski tradition states that in honour of Abraham’s sacrifice the head of each household must make an honorary sacrifice on the holiday following morning prayer, the goats being used to fulfil this requirement. A feast follows, at which one family often plays host to many family members and friends. Obviously, the religious aspect of the day is of great importance, but the real joy seems to be found in the rest and celebration that follows the feast. Sunday arrives and the words “awash with blood” continue to ring in my ears and, while I’m a little scared to venture out, the dull roar of excitement coming from the city outside sounds so enticing that I can’t resist. Outside I am happily surprised to see that, aside from the occasional deflated goat scrotum (the local boys use them as make-shift whoopee cushions), the streets look much the same as they did the night before instead of turning into the rivers of blood that I had imagined. As we didn’t know anybody well enough to join their families for the feast, we went to a local restaurant for dinner instead. Though usually quiet on Sundays, that afternoon the restaurant was exploding with children; all of them were dressed in their new outfits which had been made especially for the day and all of them spending the money they received for Tabaski on anything sweet. Gratefully, we escaped just as their sugar highs seemed to be peaking. Surprisingly, even the massive amounts of goat consumed at lunch didn’t seem to be enough to knock the Malians out for an afternoon nap and

CARI MASON

Goats are kept in a pen and sold for Tabaski celebrations. the rest of the day was spent in celebration. It lasted the whole day and well into the night, filling the air with music, laughter and the sweet sweet smell of “le mouton.” Tabaski was last Sunday. Yesterday I walked through an area that had been a goat market just last week and realized that it is actually a soccer field. It is just one of the many areas of the city that has been revealed by the absence of animals, altering the feeling of the city entirely. The city is, in fact, empty and seemingly barren without

Tabaski goats tied up awaiting the slaughter in the streets.

the mass of goats there creating the chaos that had filled the days before Tabaski. I look at the few goats that remain, wandering the streets seemingly ownerless, with a mix of pity and relief. I know, without recognizing, that they must have some undesirable flaw that had made them unsuitable to be the guest-of-honour for the holiday, yet I can’t help but be happy that whatever it was has bought them a few extra days of life. cmason@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

CARI MASON

Imprint features

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

13

Need for Speed Underground explores new grounds Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF

Need for Speed Underground Publisher: EA Sports Platforms: Gamecube, PC, PS2, XBox ESRB: Everyone Online enabled—Broadband only, 2-4 players The latest installment in the longrunning Need for Speed series truly shatters previous standards and presents the public with a wholly new concept for race games. Need for Speed Underground combines slick graphics with astounding race physics and mixes in an element of customization previ-

ously unseen, coming out with a product that shines far above anything in its genre. The racing portion of the game is based on several styles, each requiring different strategies and methods of play. All of the races take place in the same city centre, but map different routes through it, making for repetitive scenery. Each race allows you to select a difficulty level (easy to hard), which carry increasingly large rewards. This is an ingenious feature as the player can alter the difficulty as their skill increases without having to completely restart their game. Race rewards come in the form of new cars, new parts for your car and style points. The most innovative racing mode

is the drag race. This mode requires you to shift gears at exactly the right moment in order to gain a speed advantage and to avoid oncoming traffic at speeds upwards of 160 mph. The drag race is extremely fast-paced and fun. There is also the traditional circuit race and a variant, the knockout. The latter disqualifies the last place car on each lap. Slightly more confusing, but still entertaining, is the drift mode. This requires you to essentially put on a performance to earn points. You do what is known across other games as a “powerslide,” or in the real world as “pulling the e-brake while turning in the snow,” and for this they give you

style points, the equivalent of currency in Underground. The biggest problem I had with the game was the style point system: the points were essentially useless. Sure, parts you unlocked from the races and purchased for your car had a cost, but after racing only a few times, you had such a whopping load of these points that the cost of parts was like pennies to a millionaire. Although the race mode presented a few new things, the true beauty of the game was in designing, modifying and enhancing your car. There are literally hundreds of unlockable colours, parts and decorations that are earned through the race mode. Each custom part gives you the option of choosing

the manufacturer, which really has no effect on its performance but is still a neat touch. The game measures the style of your car based on the quality of parts used and their price. It puts this towards a multiplier which lets you accumulate style points faster. The massive opportunities for customizing your car make this game the gem that it is. The race mode is great, but there’s nothing better than being able to design your dream wagon and watch it kick some ass. The game took me approximately 28 hours to complete, about 10 of which were spent on customizing. talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Imprint arts

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Check out the hard rockin’ Danny Michel - Page 16

arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A Late Night afternoon with Conan O’Brien Peter Danforth SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Conan puts the gangly geekiness on hold for awards.

COURTESY OF IMDB.COM

In the year two thousand, Conan O’Brien will come to Toronto and make the same tired jokes about back-bacon and drinking beer that Jay Leno would. I was one of a thousand lucky people to get into the Elgin Theatre for Tuesday afternoon’s premier taping of Late Night with Conan O’Brien in Toronto. Although the experience as a whole was great, providing great memories and lovely company, the show itself was not one of O’Brien’s finest moments. Sure, I spent three hours waiting in subzero weather without a toque or gloves and the line up did cross by a Tim Hortons. All the while, we lucky few talked politely with other Canadians who waited patiently and thanked one another kindly for returning our position in line after muchneeded trips to Tim’s or the bathroom. Still, by the end of the event, the Canadian stereotypes had dragged on for too long. The classic wit and offbeat humour that drew audiences to line up for Late Night and its star were replaced, for the most part, with amateur jokes about overwrought Canadian stereotypes. Was I personally offended by these jokes? No! Did they seem tasteless and disrespectful? No, not at all: they were simply lame, poorly written and executed like hokey shtick. This is not something you would expect from a staff of writers that is among the most awarded groups in late-night television history. Even Ca-

nadian guests Mike Myers and Ron James were playing up the “we’re in Canada, eh” angle far too much for it to remain funny. I’m sure the quality of the show will improve as the week moves on and the location grows old. O’Brien showed his winning style of humour at his appearance on Much Music’s Much on Demand on Monday evening and there were glimmers of classic Late Night humour on the show itself. “A Canadian Smalltalk Moment” had Max Weinberg and O’Brien bantering (completely over their heads) about the Canadian political landscape. And there was, of course, O’Brien’s on-ice antics with the “home team” Toronto Maple Leafs. However, these were fleeting moments in a sea of beer-battered banter. Currently, this cross-promotional activity that is sure to draw more Canadians into the Late Night following and more Americans to consider Toronto as a tourism destination is doing both parties a huge disservice. We Canadians are people that pride ourselves on having a great sense of humour. It is that sophisticated and quirky sense of humour that drew us to O’Brien and his crew as opposed to other variety show icons in the first place. We want to see Conan O’Brien in Canada. Not Conan O’Brien overdoes Canada. For those of you who tuned into the show for the first time ever this week, please keep watching. O’Brien is worthy of the hype and the show will provide the laughs you expect. I just hope he doesn’t have to return to New York to return to the humour.

The inescapable charms of The O.C. David Carey DIET COKE HEAD The O.C. premiered on FOX during the summer, a time when most networks show repeats or air new reality television programs. It was a big shock to everyone when a lot of people actually started to watch. And people are still watching, myself included. Don’t get me wrong, The O.C. is a terrible show, but there has to be something there that keeps viewers’ attention. Okay, the premise of the show and a quick character breakdown, provided with much needed sarcasm: Ryan is a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who’s arrested while attempting to steal a car. After narrowly avoiding some jail time, he returns home only to get kicked out by his whitetrash boozehound mother. The only person Ryan can turn to for help is the public defender assigned to his case, Sandy Cohen. The Cohens live in Orange County (or “the” Orange County, as suggested by the title), a section of California known for its affluence and prestige. Sandy’s wife Kirsten is a strong-willed businesswoman who was raised in the O.C. and currently works for her father. Ryan quickly becomes friends with the littlest Cohen, who is the real reason most of us watch the show. Seth reads comic books, plays Jenga, watches cartoons and habitually prances about looking adorable —

although “prancing” probably isn’t an accurate description of his awkward-cum-geeky manner. Soon after arriving in the O.C., Ryan meets the girl next door. Marissa, played by maybe the worst actress of all time, frolics around in her absurdly short miniskirts, hiding her drinking problem and pining over her broken family. Generally she spends most of her time looking sad and pouty — which is understandable because her father’s a crook, her mom’s a bitch and her sister disappeared after episode three (not like she was kidnapped, just that the producers maybe forgot about her). Her best friend, a strangely narcissistic girl named Summer, is the object of Seth’s affections. For awhile Summer just made out with him randomly, but more recently she has been trying to get in the way of him and pal Anna — the female version of Seth. Rounding out the cast is Marissa’s ex-boyfriend Luke. He doesn’t so much have a character as grins a lot and acts foolishly. But they did give him that classy “I have two dads” subplot. Without a doubt, The O.C. is a huge hit for FOX and CTV, who actually air new episodes two days earlier than in the States. You might be surprised to learn that the mastermind behind the show is a 26-year-old from Rhode Island who has become the youngest person to ever create a onehour drama for network television. The other four executive producers are experienced Hollywood types, including Swingers director Doug Liman and Charlie’s Angels’ McG. So why do we watch it? It’s interesting; The O.C. mixes cheesy melodrama with semi-witty humour and random pop culture references. One week I almost changed channels due to the ridiculousness of the plot, but then Summer and Anna

started bonding over the Golden Girls and the Cohens battled OnStar on their way to a swingers party. The show’s nuances surprise me on occasion, but I can tune in every week knowing that I’ll be entertained. Watching attractive people caught in absurd situations is like a national pastime and has

been for a long time. It’s kind of like Dynasty: The Next Generation, but with crappy actors. Seriously, that Marissa girl is the worst ever — skinny arms and an Enrique Iglesias video do not an actress make! dcarey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Seth can be seen rockin’ the award shows with his ladies.

COURTESY OF IMDB.COM

Imprint arts

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

15

COURTESY THE SADIES

The Sadies bask in a more pastoral setting.

The Sadies back in town Daniel Glassman SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

This coming Wednesday, the Sadies will be back in town doing what they do best: playing live. A year of my life just wouldn’t seem complete without at least one Sadies’ concert. Get a few drinks or other substances into this group and they will amaze you thoroughly. This is a band that has made a name for itself the old fashioned way, touring endlessly across North America and Europe. And the years of this lifestyle have made these Toronto troubadours one of the best to witness on any given night. Blending country, bluegrass and spaghetti western music with their punk rock and surf backgrounds, these musicians have forged a tight chemistry. With four key members and often a fifth on vibraphones and mandolin, they (together or individually) have played with heavy hitters the likes of Blue Rodeo, Neko Case, Gord

Downie, R&B legend Andre Williams, Rick White, John Langford, Kid Congo Powers (Cramps, Gun Club), members of Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, the Good Brothers, the Deadly Snakes, and many more. What makes the Sadies so special is their sheer appeal to any given audience member, young or old, regardless of what that person might normally listen to. When I last had the opportunity to see them (this past summer), they were introduced onstage as a “national treasure”. At last year’s Ottawa “Blues-fest”, they played for more than two hours to a crowd of over a thousand spectators who simply refused to let them off the stage. This is the kind of treatment reserved for few bands without large publicity budgets. So what can you expect if you come out to see the Sadies next Wednesday? The ridiculously skilled guitar wrangling of brothers Dallas

and Travis Good, lightning fast instrumentals, dark ballads and psychedelic rock numbers, as well as terrific country and punk covers. Whether rocking out or spinning their straightup country tales, they have an undeniable stage presence. Despite their legendarily long sets, there’s usually never more than a few seconds of dead air between songs, time enough for Dallas to thank the appreciative audience. They usually have a loose set list that gets completely left by the drunken wayside as they add in seemingly every other song they know, obviously still finding fun in playing with each other now that they have a few albums under their belts. The Sadies’ previous visits to Waterloo at the Jane Bond had become more and more crowded with each subsequent show. It’s just as well that they will be playing the roomier Starlight Club this time round. Mark your calendars: February 18 will be a good time.

Pop music bringing in the profits

Andrea Kerswill UNHEARD OF Pop music. It’s all the same. It hits everyone like a ton of bricks and saves us from our daily worries. When I hear the new Usher song, I know that it is fulfilling something that was lacking before. I have K-W’s hottest new radio station, 91.5, The Beat to thank. Relying on the steady platform of “hit” music, this new radio station seems to pride itself on giving people what they want. Be it Britney Spears, OutKast, or my personal favourite, Ludacris, the K-W area is now being offered the joy of listening to “hit” songs 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And while all it takes to please many is a Big Mac and a pair of Nikes, I’m just not rolling with this idea of “hit” music. Albeit, popular songs are well-liked for many reasons, most being their benign use of melody and beat coupled with the oh-so important message of “get-it get-it get-it, ha, ha, ha, ha - I’m a slave 4 U.” But, as most of us clever-folk know, it takes a lot more to make a great song. Just like a Big Mac may taste good – oh damn, what’s it doing to your insides? 91.5, The Beat, caters to a younger

age group, specifically 12-24. When I sat down with 91.5’s music director, Mocha, he explained that, “We target anyone who wants to listen, I would say 12-24 is the specific target, but at the same time we get calls from parents, especially in the morning when they are listening to the radio station while taking their kids to school, and they are loving the station.” All I could think was how perfect this design was. Encouraging a young generation of mostly high schoolers to latch on to the pathetic morals of Ms. Spears. At the same time, however, I recognize that this new station is merely giving people what they want. People want shitty music with a message that tears down their ideals, just like they want shoes that will make them “run faster.” It’s an entire industry of “cool.” And parents are going with it too. I also approached the question of why this kind of radio station is in the K-W area. And in turn, I did answer my own question by stating to Mocha that there was just no other local station like it, and he agreed. “We’re also finding that because the city hasn’t had a station like this a lot of people are being a little more open to it and giving us a chance by listening and figuring out that “hey, I dig this music” - “I really like it.” So, in turn what the majority of us want seems to come right to us - if we just give it time. It was also interesting that all 91.5

wants to give K-W are the songs, the “hit” songs that all of us so obviously want to hear. While visiting the radio station, I realized that although we live in a relatively small city, we are not free of the big business bullshit. When I asked Mocha to define “hit” music, he asserted that it is “Anything that is hot, anything that drives the phone calls to come in.” The Beat felt and appeared to be just another station waiting to make its dollar through the relentless demoralization of youth. But of course, they are not alone. And it doesn’t make them the big bad wolf either. I suppose I was just hoping for a new radio station that would refute the mass-media wants and take their own road. They would welcome me in and say “we’re different, we want to change things.” But, I also know that road is a difficult one to take. In this bankrupt world, I can’t blame Mocha or The Beat for giving people what they want and wanting to get ahead — but it doesn’t mean I have to like it either. I am certain that this radio station will be an absolute success. They seem to have the drive and what it takes to make it on the air. At least I can say I do admire that quality about the station. I just wonder when it stops being about the profit and becomes a message free of charge. akerswill@imprint.ca

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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Mixtape masterpiece: dance music for indie kids Matt Charters IMPRINT STAFF

Over the last few months, Waterloo has become a concert going destination for those interested in the Canadian indie scene. However, it’s also become painfully obvious that almost everyone in Waterloo has forgotten how to have a good time at a show. I’ve watched bands rock stages while the crowd just stands there. Maybe this town has been without a scene for so long that people need some tips on how to get moving. With this in mind, I’ve created a mixtape that everyone can use to practice their dance moves with. C’mon indie kids, queue up these songs in your iPods, put a little more product in your hair to keep it from getting out of whack and start shaking that skinny ass. You won’t feel a thing (especially if you have a few bottles of 50 before you start).

The Rapture – “House of Jealous Lovers” If The Rapture’s disco-punk doesn’t get you moving then you should probably just stop right here. You’re a lost cause. Go join a shoegazer band or something. This track’s got it all: rhythmic, sharp guitar riffs backed by pounding kick drum and throbbing bass — and the cowbell! Not since Will Ferrel’s portrayal of Gene Frenkle has the cowbell been used to such effect. Add in some easy-to-remember lyrics (“one, two, three,” etc.) and you’ve got yourself a hit. www.therapturemusic.com Minus the Bear – “Absinthe Party at the Fly Honey Warehouse” Ever been to Europe? Drunk on Absinthe? With someone really hot? Minus the Bear have, and somehow they’ve managed to condense the whole experience into a five-minute song that makes me bounce around

like a complete idiot every time I hear it. Now you can too! They describe themselves as “dancy indie rock [with] lots of notes being played,” and I guarantee it’ll blow you away. www.minusthebear.com Metric – “Dead Disco” I have a confession to make: I have a thing for girls who can dance. Metric’s lead singer, Emily Haines, can dance. I mean, I have heterosexual girlfriends that have developed crushes on her after seeing her on stage. It’s gotta be something about those hips… but I digress. Even if you can’t experience the live show, this song will still make you want to shake whatever you’ve got. www.ilovemetric.com The Constantines – “Nighttime/Anytime (It’s Alright)” This one doesn’t really have a traditional dance beat, but it’s more of

a dance song in the fist-pumping, head-banging and singing along at the top-of-your lungs sense. Remember: dancing doesn’t really apply to any specific genre of music, it’s just moving your body to a beat, and the Cons kick ’em out with the best. www.constantines.ca Modest Mouse – “Float On” This song’s so good it makes the list even though it’s only been out since last Tuesday. A single from Modest Mouse’s upcoming new fulllength, Good News For People Who Love Bad News, “Float On” is just that. There’s no moodiness here, just some great drumming from a new drummer, a steady bassline and some great guitar work. Top notch. www.modestmouse.com The Vermicious Knid – “NoLife Crisis” OK, this one’s a little more advanced. The math-rock beats might

throw your dance steps off at first, but just adopt the method the band uses when playing live and you’ll be fine: sway back and forth during the 6/8 bars and then when anything more complicated happens, lash out with as many limbs as possible at once in a jerky, seizure-like motion. It works, trust me. www.thevermiciousknid.com Think you can make a better theme or top 10 mixtape? Submit your list of songs (10 max.) with a short description of each to mixtape@imprint.uwaterloo.ca. mcharters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Danny Michel comes home Arda Ocal and Jenna Holko IMPRINT STAFF

The multi-talented singer/songwriter Danny Michel has been performing for more than a decade, crisscrossing the nation throughout his career as part of numerous bands. Now, the seasoned veteran has ventured solo. The Kitchener-Waterloo native returned home last Friday to rock the Bomber with his unique musical abilities. The irony of Michel’s most recent recognition and visibility as an artist is that it is hailed by his new release Tales From the Invisible Man. The album, created while he was on hiatus, is compiled from songs that were “written while I was missing in action.” This break followed the 2001 release In the Belly of a Whale. Michel explained his reason for temporarily leaving the music industry, saying, “I had been doing this for over a decade, slugging away at it independently and I was just burnt out and tired. So I just took a break.” The result is a 12-song masterpiece that showcases Michel’s talents. Tales From the Invisible Man is an artful combination of well-crafted pop songs, with hints of disco and ragtime, along with a couple of soulful down-tempo pieces. Although a lot of the instrumental work on the album was done by Michel himself (including the drums and even a computerized theremin), he is touring this album with a full band. This is a new step for Michel, whose past reputation was built on his performance as a solo artist with only his guitar as accompaniment. What are Michel’s future aspirations? “I just want to keep writing great music, personally, for myself. I mean, I’m not really interested in fame or money. That stuff’s not important to me. As long as I can just keep writing better and better music, that’s my goal.”

GARICK STEVENSON

Being Invisible doesn’t stop Danny from rocking the Bomber.

Michel has even ventured into music actually. I’ve always felt that.” other genres one might not envision As to performing at “home” in him travelling Waterloo, Michel into. “I got asked quips, “It always to produce a hip feels simple, fun hop album the and relaxing. It’s “I’m not really other day.” like being at your interested in fame parents’ house, He also notes that it would not you know where or money.” be shocking to see everything is. It’s —Danny Michel a Missy Elliott CD always nice to see playing in his a lot of the old Discman. faces.” With regard to his objectives in Listen to the entire interview with the music industry, Michel wants to Danny Michel at AoK Online: start producing other records, and www.ckmsfm.ca/aok concerning his life in general: “I would aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca like to do some acting,” Michel says. jholko@imprint.uwaterloo.ca “I think I would be better at it than

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Imprint arts

17

Incubus don’t quite get it, but Kylie scores another hit

Incubus A Crow Left Of The Murder Epic Records

Ah, Incubus. Once upon a time they were the trailblazers for the short-lived nu-metal movement, only to change their musical direction to solely focus on getting teenage girls (who don’t know better) to their shows by outputting pop drivel (“Drive”) and making sure that frontman Brandon Boyd is always photographed without his shirt on. Needless to say, my personal opinion of Incubus prior to listening to this album wasn’t very high. If anything, my opinion of Incubus is on the same level as that Hungarian Gypsy folk music CD I bought in Toronto. But anyways, I’m a guy that likes to give things a second chance. And a third. Maybe not a fourth, but regardless, that’s the mindset I was in when I plunked the new Incubus album, A Crow Left Of The Murder, into my CD player and gave it a spin. Imagine my surprise when the first song and single, “Megalomaniac,” starts off with what can only be described as the worst sounds

known to man. You know those alarm sounds that go off when someone gets too close to some Beemer? Yeah, those. But once you actually get through the first 30 seconds, it’s not that bad of a song. A catchy chorus hook and it’s pretty rockin’. I’m digging it. Sadly, that’s pretty much all I dig of this CD. After the first song, Incubus turns the “suckubus” way up to “blow.” There’s only so much pretentious soft poetry I can take coinciding with what can only be described as yodeling. Yodeling belongs on my Hungarian Gypsy folk CD, not on a hard-rock CD. OK, so I hate the lyrics and vocals, but what about the music? It’s not bad. There are a couple of songs where they get it right with some progressive riffs and melodies. Sadly, a couple of songs don’t qualify for a great album, which ACLOTM is not. And wasn’t there a DJ in the band? I mean, he’s listed in the credits but I can’t hear anything. Maybe he’s contributing the various bits of random noise that never seem to coincide with the melody in certain songs (“Pistola,” “Made for TV Movie”). The final word — do I recommend this album? Sadly, I know some people reading this would expect me to, but I can’t. I’ve heard American Idol rejects who could have saved this album from becoming the bargain bin blowout I foresee happening in 5 years. So, if you’re a hardcore Incubus fan or one of the aforementioned teenage girls who loses her clothes whenever she hears “Drive,” get this album, and if not, spare yourself the “suck-ubus” and buy that gypsy CD off me. It’s killer. 2/10 cowbells (for having a couple of good songs and a cool name for an album). Needs way more cowbell! Daniel George-Cosh, special to Imprint

Kylie Minogue Body Language EMI Records

In 1997, Kylie Minogue released a widely-ignored album called Impossible Princess. This delirious collection of alt-rock, trip-hop, electronica and trance tracks, all of which she either wrote or co-wrote herself, exposed a nervy side of her and is arguably her best moment to date. But critics and fans loathed it, signalling the 180degree turn into her latter-day incarnation of a 35-year-old electro-pop MILF (and the North American success that came with it). Minogue is now nine albums and 15 years into her career, and the best thing about such mileage is that, like Madonna (and unlike Britney and Xtina), she has a sonic style familiar enough to fans that she can provide knowing winks to past material in her new songs and the reference will be caught. 2000’s Light Years and 2002’s Fever marked her return to top-of-the-line manufactured pop, but with the new Body Language, she has taken a page from her Princess phase and

made a gutsy, experimental album where R&B, dirty funk and electroclash blend into something artificial yet so rich and so good. Her last couple of albums were candy; Body Language is Belgian chocolate. You’ve already heard “Slow,” the MuchMoreMusic staple in which blippy themes from various original Nintendo titles join as one to get you randy. And admit it, it surprised you. (Fun fact: The wailing over the song’s bridge is lifted wholesale from “Say Hey,” Princess’ ode to warm bathtubs and missed lovers.) This is just a taste. The giddy, gurgling “Still Standing” has a dramatic chorus that pays homage to pop star-turned-nipple shield advocate Janet Jackson. “Secret (Take You Home)” features her much-hyped rap debut, but it’s not as radical as you’d think; the darkbeat storm percolating behind her is the real main attraction. “Sweet Music” could be gusgus or Basement Jaxx if your niece didn’t like it so much. The stuttering beat of “Obsession” brings to mind TLC’s and Destiny’s Child’s scrub-hatin’ anthems of yore. To Minogue, good pop music means that nothing is off-limits. If you can, ignore the fact that she used to write lyrics like “Caught up in this house/Trapped my very own self in the snare of my mind” and now gets saddled with shitty lines like “Flowers grow/They’re everywhere you go/I feel for you.” This is exquisite pop, useful for jogging, studying or heavy petting: multifaceted, like its star. Graceful. Alluring. Kylie, I love you. By the way, she recorded two tracks with the Neptunes for this disc; they failed to make the cut and will appear later as b-sides. Anyone who can afford to shirk off the Neptunes’ joints as “below par” is doing something very right. Mark Stratford, Imprint staff

SCIENCE 18

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Imprint science

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Azadeh Samadi IMPRINT STAFF

Non-surgical treatment for basal cell skin cancer

Students experience the latest innovations at the immensely popular TechExpo.

CHARLOTTE UETA

Technology students confront their industry at Mega Conference Andrew Ash SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

For 460 technology students who’ve slugged through years of calculus and computing courses, attending the recent Canadian Undergraduate Technology Conference (CUTC) was like getting a big pat on the back from their new boss .“Congrats. You’ve arrived.” All the big names were there: Bell, Redknee, IBM, Microsoft, G.E., and Nortel. To Simon Kalechstein of Queen’s University and other attendees, the CUTC was “a chance to

plan for our futures, by learning from the best in the industry.” The conference was held in the Delta Toronto East Hotel, which went out of its way to make everyone comfortable. Flora Do, one of the conference organizers, was most inspired by “people who came from all over.” Canada not only to network with the industry and with their fellow students, but who were also very keen on absorbing as much diverse knowledge as they could.” Every Canadian province was represented and a fair number of the world’s nations as well.

Notably, this year’s conference had double the number of women attending as compared to prior years. Clearly this isn’t the same industry that gave birth to the 1960’s stereotype of male-dominated antisocial geeks! The Globalization TechPanel was probably the weekend’s most controversial event. The panelists fielded questions from students who were upset over the “outsourcing” of high paying tech jobs to countries like India, where salaries are up to 75 per cent lower. See CUTC page 19

Free, confidential health advice from people who are actually qualified to give it.

Researchers at Hope Hospital in Salford, England found a non-surgical treatment for basal cell skin cancer which results in better cosmetic results but might be less effective than surgery at preventing the disease from returning. The treatment is called photodynamic therapy, and uses skin cream known as methyl aminolevulinate and concentrated light to activate the cream, which kills cancer cells. It is used in Australia, Europe and New Zealand, but a Food and Drug Administration advisory committee did not approve it for sale in Canada. Basal cell skin cancer, often caused by overexposure to sunlight, is diagnosed in about two million people worldwide each year, making it among the most common cancers. It is also among the most curable. Surgical removal is generally the preferred treatment, but since basal cell cancers typically appear on or around the face, some patients worry about scarring. A baby with two heads

A team of 18 surgeons made an extraordinary operation to remove the second head of a Dominican baby. The extra head was a partially formed twin that threatened the girl’s development. After more than 13 hours of surgery, the second head was successfully

removed, but the girl died eight hours later due to severe blood loss. Rebeca was born December 17 with the head of an undeveloped twin attached to the top of her skull, facing upward. This condition is known as craniopagus parasiticus. Rebeca is the eighth documented case in the world. In Rebeca’s case, there was a gap in her skull where the heads were joined and the blood vessels were intertwined. The second head was enlarged and had a poorly developed brain without fullyformed facial features. Conjoined twins form when an embryo starts to split into identical twins and then stops, leaving them fused. Twins conjoined at the head occur in about one of every 2.5 million births. CURE International, a Lemoyne, Pennsylvania-based charity that gives medical care to disabled children in developing countries, paid an estimated $100,000 US for the surgery. asamadi@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Correction In the February 6 article “Dave Williams: the next generation of aerospace leaders” it was incorrectly stated that the International Space Station was in Montreal. One of the control centers is in Montreal. Also from July 1998 to November 2002, Dr. Williams served as Director of the Space and Life Sciences Directorate with NASA. During that time, he personally oversaw the launch of 16 shuttle flights.

Telehealth Ontario 1-866-797-0000 TTY: 1-866 -797-0007 Free access to registered nurses 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. www.HealthyOntario.com

Imprint science

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

CUTC: a chance for networking ntinued from page 18

Despite the fact that Dell, IBM, and Microsoft are already outsourcing, the New York Times finds the issue “so controversial and politically charged that there is marked reluctance among many corporations to even speak publicly about it.” One panelist, Duncan Ratcliffe, president and CEO of Redknee, was eager to defend the benefits of outsourcing, such as the chance for Canadian companies like Redknee to “export their corporate culture” around the globe. Redknee currently does 95 per cent of its business outside Canada. Mr. Ratcliffe argued that outsourcing’s chief benefit is that it allows Canadian firms to “reduce costs by using technology to be more efficient,” and that Canada stands to profit overall. Students were skeptical though of his claim that it’s “quite clear [that outsourcing] won’t reduce the number of tech jobs here in Canada.” A student from Simon Fraser University pointed out in response that “these boring jobs we’re exporting are the same entry-level jobs I’m supposed to be applying for.” The fifth annual CUTC was impressively well, organized, offering hundreds of opportunities for students to network with each other and with industry types. It was much more than a careerfest, however. Courageous panel discussions on controversies like the patenting of human genes and globalization clearly demonstrated that the latest group of graduates are plugging into society and not tuning out. Those keen on helping to plan next year’s CUTC, or looking to view presentations from this year’s conference should definitely check out www.cutc.ca.

19

Got Milk ? Then you’ve got problems Milk: recent studies shake current theories Colin Guthrie SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Humans have been drinking the milk of our own species since before the time we dropped from the trees and a new, upright posture allowed predators to see as well as hear us as we ran screaming across the savannah. Studies of ancient mosaic friezes show that humans have probably been consuming the milk of other animals since at least 3,000 B.C. TV programs of the last decade show that drinking milk straight from the cow’s teat in a Toronto HMV is at least incredibly funny. The debate over the potential health effects of consuming milk has recently been gaining momentum. Several recent studies have even called into question the long-term safety of consuming cow’s milk at all. Whether it’s in your cheese or on your Count Chocula, milk is a food source that is firmly integrated into the diet and culture of many North Americans. Those in favour of cow’s milk tout its convenience as a way to get the many vitamins and minerals essential to a healthy diet. Aside from calcium, milk also contains proteins, potassium, riboflavin, niacin, phosphorus, vitamins D and B-12. Although all of these nutrients are available in a variety of other foods, milk is a quick and easy way to ensure that daily requirements are met. It has been a long held belief that drinking three to four glasses of milk per day may help prevent the onset of osteoporosis — a disease characterized by the decalcification of bone mass — by providing bones with large amounts of bonefortifying calcium during their growth. Opponents of milk point out that many of the growth hormones given to cattle to encourage faster growth inevitably end up in their milk, which we as consumers then drink. Dr. Robert Kradjian, an

American surgeon in the 1980s, was one of the first researchers to look at the link between drinking milk and osteoporosis. In an apparent contradiction to popular belief, he found that the rates of osteoporosis were actually higher in cultures that traditionally consumed more milk than in those that consumed less. More recent work has even revealed cases where those who consume milk are more prone to bone fractures than those who do not. The possibility that calcium has little or nothing to do with preventing bone density loss, and may even accelerate it, has also been proposed. Some health scientists point out the possibility that milk may not be the best source of calcium at all; that the body can get it via other foods such as tofu, sardines and spinach more efficiently. Higher consumption of milk has also been linked to higher incidences of multiple sclerosis in milk-drinking cultures. How it is that drinking milk might cause multiple sclerosis is still largely unknown, but may have to do with milk proteins triggering an autoimmune reaction. Research in New Zealand by the A2 Corporation is exploring a pos-

Milk may not be the best source of calcium. sible link between the A1 and A2 type proteins found in milk and heart disease. A2 protein is believed to be mostly harmless while A1 protien may cause damage to the walls of arteries and promote childhood diabetes. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the A2 Company plans to develop and mar-

SHAUN IVORY

ket a brand of milk containing only the A2 form of protein, should the A1 form of protien prove to be unsafe. For now, milk remains a popular, low-cost and cheap source of many of the nutrients that are important in a balanced diet.

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Happy Valentine's Day! KEL-KEL Valentine's Day is re-scheduled for February 20th. You're doing great on midterms! Remember, you're hon-kit loves you!

I miss you so much Xi Xi! Wish we'll spend today together for all future years! ...P Pengli

o n t l. o o s ifu m y eaut o y t ou b a d y e s ' love n i t I l e n ide. a r V Diana, Diana p y er b p m a Go see how our kind H sum a v e e b e, D hearts are forever v Lo penguins r ou g y n n s i owi a n s , e n a rk pin d k th M hap l a n m o r e ch , s o u k i s e . u m art b a c t r u a y . d e e D n ou s , h e m e c o m n e ' s f e m i v I'v s , a r u l o r e a m l e n t t i n e a o e s ey a t y a d y V h r i p h t ap ~C H

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SPORTS FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

Imprint sports sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

21

Happy days for men’s hockey —page 24

Bronze for UW at OUA Nordic skiing championship Areta Lok SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

The UW Nordic ski team finished their season on a high note finishing third overall at the OUA championships in Sudbury last weekend. Both the men’s and women’s teams were in third place after the first day, with strong second place finishes in the relays. Sunday’s race saw the women charge and win the day, but they remained eight points behind champion Carleton University, who also won the men’s competition. Individual results were also stellar, with four UW athletes earning OUA all-star recognition. Individually, Charles Curtis (seventh), Justin Faulkner (10th), Colleen Lynch (eighth) and Kristie Henry(10th) were named OUA all-stars. Eerik Randsalu and Andrea Dupont were both 11th, missing the all-star list by only four seconds over the weekend’s racing. Saturday dawned bright and sunny to fresh snow that had fallen overnight. The trails were firm for the classic race that would be the start of the championships. The men contested a 12km race while the women completed 6km. In the men’s race, it was a four-way competition for the podium, with Warrior Charles Curtis in the thick of things. In third place after the first lap, less than five seconds from the lead, Curtis powered to the finish. He was fourth on the day only six seconds behind first place skier Ed McCarthy of Carleton. Not far behind were Eerik Randsalu with an outstanding seventh place finish and Justin Faulkner in 10th. Rounding out the men’s team scoring were Matt Strickland, 26th, Neil deLaplante, 37th, Colin Rhodes and Jacob Kolunovsky, 45th. The women’s race was also tightly contested and Andrea Dupont found the power to lead the Warriors in fifth place, followed closely by UW’s Colleen Lynch in eighth, behind winner Megan McTavish of Carleton. Rounding out the scoring were Kristie Henry, 15th, Mary Ellen Wood,

BRENT CURRY

UW’s Kristie Henry hits her stride during the OUA Nordic skiing championships. The Warriors won a pair of bronze medals. 18th, Meg Payne, 33rd, Toni Carlisle, 36th, and Tiffany Duncan, 45th. After the morning of racing, the men were two points behind Lakehead in the race for second place while the women were in reach, only 12 points behind the leaders from Carleton. The second event on Saturday was the always-exciting relay. This year was a classic relay, with three skiers from each team skiing in succession around the trail. Men skied two laps of 2km each and women skied two laps of 1km. The multiple short laps made the race enjoyable for spectators who were able to watch closely as the drama unfolded. In the men’s race, Faulkner took the lead leg for the Warriors, and raced hard to maintain contact with athletes from Carleton and Laurentian who managed a small breakaway. Eerik Randsalu picked up the chase in third place, 30 seconds behind the frontrunners. He closed the gap on

Laurentian quickly and passed off to anchor Curtis in second place with a hard charging Lakehead skier closing from behind. Curtis was caught but proved unbeatable as he had the fastest final lap of the day, capturing silver and leaving Lakehead the bronze medal. The women’s race was equally exciting with five teams hoping for a victory. Lynch took the start for the Warriors, skiing a tough, very short, and fast race in second place right behind a skier from Lakehead. The second lap was skied by Wood, starting eight seconds behind first, and equally ahead of three other teams. Wood stayed tough, holding off a charge from Carleton’s second skier and passed off to Dupont at the same time. Dupont was left to battle with McTavish of Carleton, the winner of the morning’s race, while holding off skiers from Queen’s and Laurentian

desperate to get medals. The strongest woman on the course was Dupont, getting the silver medal by a boot length over a disappointed Carleton team. Rhodes, deLaplante and Kolunovsky for the men, and Carlisle, Duncan and Payne for the women, formed second relay teams that succeeded in beating all of the teams fielded by the University of Toronto while gaining valuable relay experience. After the relay event, the men had moved into second place by a onepoint margin over Lakehead and the women remained in third behind new leaders, Lakehead. Sunday morning was crisp and clear for the free technique race. The men skated a 15km competition while the women skied 12km. The men battled through a fast race and Curtis, Faulkner and Randsalu were ninth, 10th, and 11th, respectively. Rounding out the scoring were Strickland, 30th,

deLaplante 32nd, and Rhodes 36th, for the men’s third place finish on the weekend. On the women’s side, Henry, loving the Laurentian hills, took advantage of being rested to finish a personal best fifth on the day. Not far behind were Lynch, ninth, Wood, 11th, and Dupont, 15th. Warriors Payne (36) and Carlisle (42) rounded out the team. The women’s total score of 40 was the best on the day, but not quite enough as they finished the weekend only eight points out of first place. For Henry, a three-sport athlete, Sunday was the high point of the weekend: “I felt really good out there today, and to get all-star for skiing is just amazing!” The OUA season is now complete for the Warriors. They will compete in some local events as some team members prepare for the upcoming national ski championships.

Imprint sports

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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

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Presents...

This Week in

Warrior Athletics

This will not be a very popular column south of the Mason-Dixon line. It’s not that I have any personal beefs with the one-time grey coats of the United States. But I have a feeling that, after writing this, I won’t be privy to any normal brands of southern hospitality, because perhaps the only thing southerners enjoy more than being kind is Nascar racing. And I don’t like Nascar racing. As a matter of fact, I hate Nascar racing. I hate everything about it. In my eyes, there is no better way to waste a few hours than by watching 43 cars drive around in a continual circle. If my options came down to watching Nascar or The Simple Life, then give me Paris and Nicole. In Nascar, even the crashes are boring. But alas, the 2004 Nascar season is unfortunately upon us. And with this weekend’s running of the Daytona 500, the world’s fastest billboard will jump back into action after a far-tooshort winter hiatus. The advertising presence is absolutely unbearable in Nascar. I realize

that it’s expensive to build and maintain these cars, but virtually every organization on the continent has their brand name on a Nascar. Gone are the days that only beer and tobacco companies sponsored a Nascar team. Call me a traditionalist, but there’s just something strange about seeing the likeness of Tony the Tiger plastered on a car’s hood, especially when he is asking “got milk?� And I wonder if the US Army car picks on National Guard car because it’s just a fake veteran that never drove in any real wars. Even Viagra sponsors a car now. Kind of brings a whole new meaning to the term “stick shift,� doesn’t it? But as overbearing as the advertising is, Nascar’s biggest problem is based in the most unorthodox scoring system that competitive racing has ever seen. You would need a degree in actuarial mathematics to figure out how points are awarded in the pursuit of Nascar’s season-long Nextel cup (yes, even the championship trophy has a sponsor). And what makes the points system even worse is the fact that it rarely rewards the season’s top drivers. In 2003, for instance, young superstar Ryan Newman won eight of 36 races, but he finished sixth in the overall standings come season’s end. Matt Kenseth, on the other hand, won a single race all year but he finished first in the overall standings, 311 points clear of Newman. If Nascar

used the much simpler scoring system of the world’s top racing circuit, Formula 1, then Newman would have won last year’s championship like he should have and Kenseth would have finished fifth. Sure, it seems logical to reward the season’s winningest driver with a championship, but nobody said Nascar was logical. After all, this is the organization that advocates pulling ringers for 500 miles. And those ringers are the epitome of Nascar’s monotony. Professional auto races are much more exciting on road courses, a concept which is apparently foreign to Nascar executives. Of the 36 races this season, only a pair will be held on road courses — the other 34 will be on ovals, forcing drivers to literally race around in circles at speeds that barely exceed what can be seen on Fox’s latest police chase television special. Maybe it’s just me, but I think racing is more exciting when it includes right turns. But as much as I cannot stand Nascar, the series enjoys one of the strongest fan bases in North American mainstream sport. For every disputant of the circuit like me, there are a hundred Nascar fanatics that adore the sport, advertisements and all. However, that doesn’t change the fact that I just hate Nascar racing. But don’t tell the southerners I said that. amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Warriors have playoff date with Windsor

Warrior Figure Skating OUA Championships Saturday, February 14 - Sunday, February 15, RIM Park, Waterloo

Saturday, February 14, 2004 vs Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks, 7:30 pm, UW CIF Arena Friday, February 20, 2004 vs Windsor Lancers, 7:30 pm, UW CIF Arena

Warrior Basketball Wednesday, February 18, 2004 vs McMaster Marauders, (W) 6:00 pm, (M) 8:00 pm, UW PAC Gym

<< Andrea Dupont, Nordic Skiing

<< Charles Curtis, Nordic Skiing

Athletes of the Week

Serving the UW Campus

Andrea, a fourth year biochemistry student from Timmins, Ontario had an incredible race in the relay at the OUA Championships on Saturday. Andrea anchored the Women's 3 X 2km relay team and sprinted to the finish line to edge out Carleton by a boot, resulting in a silver medal. She had the fastest relay leg of all the women in the race. Earlier in the day, Andrea was the top UW woman and sped to a fifth place finish in the 6km classic race.

King St. & Northfield

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Men’s volleyball enter playoffs on a losing note

Warrior Hockey (W)

Charles, a second year Masters student in Chemistry from Cape North, Nova Scotia, powered his way to OUA All Star status with a fourth place finish, only 1 second from a bronze medal and 6 seconds from the win in the 12km classic race at the OUA Championships in Sudbury on Saturday. In the afternoon, Charles secured a silver medal by anchoring the Men's 3 X 4.5km relay team. Charles led the Men's team to an overall 3rd place ranking for the Championships.

Brian Santos

Fischer-Hallman & University Ave.

584-0827 584-1044 584-0971

The men’s volleyball team finished their OUA regular season play on a losing note. The Warriors lost the final two games of the season. They lost 3-2, Wednesday, February 4 at Windsor (25-23, 21-25, 20-25, 26-24, 15-13) and at then at home, on Saturday, February 7 they lost 3-2 (25-18, 25-21, 21-25, 22-25, 17-15) to the Guelph Gryphons. As a result the team finished fifth overall in their division, with an overall record of ten wins and eight losses. The Warriors traveled to Windsor to face the Lancers on Thursday, February 12 for the OUA quarterfinals; unfortunately results were not available at press time. The second round of the OUA playoffs are slated for Sunday, February 15 as Toronto and York, the province’s two top teams, await the winners of the quarterfinal matchups.

tough loss at the hands of the Brock Badgers on Friday, February 6. Waterloo had not played in two weeks and the effects showed in the final score, as the Warriors were crushed 7-1. The Warriors are now tied with Western for fourth in the Division, four points away from a playoff spot. The team will next see action tonight, Friday, February 13 when they travel to Guelph to face the Gryphons at the Gryphon Centre Arena. Game time is scheduled for 7:30 p.m. Women’s volleyball team finishes season against rival WLU

Last Saturday afternoon in the PAC, the women’s volleyball team played against the nationally-ranked Guelph Gryphons. Although the Warriors outscored their opposition 97-93 in the match, they failed to score some key points and ended up losing three sets to one (25-23, 27-25, 15-25, 2624). Kathleen Freeman had 14 points to lead the Warriors offensively. UW has only one more game remaining in their season. Tonight, Friday, February 13 they will travel down University Ave. to face their rivals from Laurier. Game time is 7:30 p.m. Unfortunately, the Warriors will only be playing for bragging rights as they are currently out of the playoff picture.

Women’s hockey team shows rust

UW track and field crosses the border to compete at Syracuse

With the playoffs fast approaching the women’s hockey team suffered a

The track and field team traveled south of the border to New York for

a meet hosted by Syracuse, last Saturday, February 7. Finishing well for the women’s squad was their 4x400 relay team of Cindy Willits, Sarah Snable, Katie Bickle and Gina Jackson who finished third. Performing well for the men were Will Gibbons and Colin Lawrence who finished fourth and fifth in the 1000m, respectively. Scott Arnald and Michael Logue finished third and fifth in the 3000m, respectively. The men’s 4x400 relay team of Nnaemeka Ukwuoma, Shane Ferth, Davis Dawhuniuk and Adrian Blair placed second. The men’s 4000mmedley relay team of Will Gibbons, Gregory Winston, Colin Lawrence and Michael Logue placed second. Joe Brown also added to the Warrior point total by finishing fifth in the high jump. The team will next compete in the Hal Brown Invitational, hosted by U of T. The meet will be in Toronto on Friday, February 20. — with files from UW Athletics

Imprint sports

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

23

Warriors fall in back-to-back games Aaron Tomlin SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

After an extended period of time among the OUA West division’s elite, the UW men’s basketball season appears to have hit a snag. The Warriors lost their second straight game last Wednesday, February 11 when they fell to the nation’s eighth-ranked team, the Brock Badgers by a score of 64-58. Coming off a previous loss to ninth-ranked Guelph , Waterloo’s two straight defeats pushed their record against nationallyranked teams to a disappointing 2-4. UW’s two-game skid began on Saturday, February 7 when the Warriors traveled to the land of ‘Aggies’ to play the Guelph Gryphons in what was a battle for second place in the OUA’s West division. Unfortunately, the Warriors could not manage to come back from an early game deficit, falling short, 73-66. The game did not start well for Waterloo as they fell behind 11-2 to start the first half. The rest of the period saw an up and down game that made it difficult for Waterloo to close the gap. At half time, the Warriors found themselves down by 15 points. Turnovers were definitely a concern as the Warriors managed 20 giveaways for the entire game. However, the Warriors put together a strong effort to start the second half and narrowed the lead to ten points. Guelph was able to calm the storm and managed to regain the 15 point cushion that Waterloo was desperately trying to come back from. The final ten minutes was a very physical affair that saw an intentional foul from reserve guard Matt Kieswetter, after he chased down a

Guelph player and attempted, stress on the attempt, to block his shot. Instead of putting Waterloo behind the eight ball, this seemed to energize the Warriors for a late game push. Andrew Coatsworth knocked down two big three-pointers that were as picturesque as his ads for Campus Crew. Then with only minutes remaining, Graham Jarman managed to pull the Warriors within three points after a steal and a layup. However, this is as close the Warriors would get as they were forced to foul the Guelph players who managed to knock down the crucial free throws. Strictly looking at the statistics, it can be seen that the Warriors’ turnovers and lackluster three point shooting hurt them throughout the game. Even though Waterloo shot a decent 43 per cent from the field, they only managed to shoot 19 per cent from beyond the arc. On the other hand, Guelph flourished shooting 35 per cent from downtown. One positive for Waterloo was their ability to out rebound the physical front court of the Gryphons, despite less than a handful of Warriors who possess the athleticism necessary to jump over a phone book. Top scorers for the Warriors were Dave Munkley with 14 points, and Chris Edwards, who added 12 points. At the time, the Guelph loss saw Waterloo sink down into a tie with the Brock Badgers, with a record of 12-6. After their loss to the Badgers, the Warriors fell into fourth place in the OUA’s west division. The Warriors next home game is against first place McMaster on Wednesday, February 18. Game time is 8:00 at the PAC.

Warriors outlast Brock

Women’s basketball club beats one of OUA’s finest Adam McGuire IMPRINT STAFF

What once appeared to be a disappointing second half of the 2003-04 season has suddenly turned into a promising glimpse of the future for the UW women’s basketball team. After suffering through a four-game losing streak in early 2004, the Warriors turned the tide on their unfortunate stretch with a 68-67 overtime win over the powerhouse Brock Badgers. The Warriors got a pair of outstanding performances from two of their veteran offensive leaders, as leading scorer Julie Devenny and cocaptain Amanda Kieswetter tallied 25 and 17 points, respectively. The dynamic duo accounted for over 60 per cent of Waterloo’s scoring in the extremely tight affair. The Warriors enjoyed one of their most successful shooting performances of the season, converting on a spectacular 43.4 per cent of their field goal attempts. Kieswetter had the hottest hand of any Warrior on the evening, as she shot

7-11 from the field, including 3-6 from beyond the three-point arc. Not to be outdone, Devenny’s presence in the inside game was dominating. Her ability to draw fouls proved more than worthy, especially with Devenny’s prowess at the free-throw line. The third-year starter made nine of 11shots from the charity stripe, as she hit numerous big shots down the stretch and in overtime. But despite the superlative efforts of Kieswetter and Devenny, the key to the Warriors victory may have been their dominance in the rebounding department. Rookie Gillian Maxwell was a monster on the boards for Waterloo, as she piled up a whopping 11 rebounds in only 28 minutes of play prior to fouling out of the match. Maxwell has been UW’s biggest threat on the boards all season, and in the team’s biggest victory of 2003-04, she didn’t disappoint. As a team, the Warriors out-rebounded the host Badgers 41-30. see BASKETBALL, page 24

ADAM MCGUIRE

UW’s Gerard Magennis (3) and Chris Edwards (34) hope to help snap the Warriors out of their two-game losing skid as the playoffs approach.

Imprint sports

24

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2004

UW claws past Lions, get tossed aside by Badgers Rod McLachlan IMPRINT STAFF

Heading into last weekend the UW men’s hockey team knew it was in for a tough battle against two teams of national calibre in the York Lions and the Brock Badgers. However by the end of the weekend the Warriors played some of their best hockey and some of their worst. Nevertheless, Waterloo split the two matches that were held at the CIF arena by defeating York 3-0 on Saturday and losing bitterly 8-0 to Brock the following afternoon. “The victory over York was a critical game for us as we realized that Windsor was able to defeat Laurier the night before, narrowing our lead over [Windsor] in the playoff race and that it would be up to us as a team to respond,” commented UW fifth-year centreman Mike Nixon. On Saturday, February 7 versus York, rookie centreman Mike Della Mora, who leads Waterloo in scoring (12 G, 7 A, 19 P), tallied the game winner for his team by going short side on Lion’s goalie Derek Dolson. The chance was created four-and-half minutes into the first period by some hard-nosed work in the corner by Kevin Hurley. UW goalie Scott Gouthro, who allowed only two shots in during the previous weekend’s two contests against Windsor, shined once again for the Warriors. His 33 saves against the Lions earned him his first shutout of the season. In fact, Gouthro’s shutout was the first blanking of an opponent by a Waterloo netminder in over three years. The last time UW kept its competition off the scoreboard was January 7, 2001 in a 1-0 blanking of Laurier. Of course, the 2000-2001 season was also the last time the Warriors were not only in the playoffs, but advanced to the second round of the post-season. “I think that our team played a solid all around game from top to bottom in all areas of the ice, especially Scott Gouthro who continues to be our best player,” noted Nixon. Rounding out the Warriors’ of-

ADAM MCGUIRE

Warriors forward Trevor Graham takes a break from UW’s practice as his club prepares for their regular season finale against Guelph. fensive output were goalscorers Ryan MacGregor in the second period (assists Mark Accardi and Nixon) and in the third period Kevin Hurley, who capitalized on a rebound (assists Richard Scott and Adam Metherel). In a 2 p.m. Sunday matinee matchup against the Brock Badgers (12-6-20) the following day, UW head coach Karl Taylor was forced to start backup goaltender Jeremy Elliott due to an ankle injury from a slash that Gouthro sustained in action against York the previous day. Elliott made 33 saves on 41 shots

ADAM MCGUIRE

UW’s Julie Devenny looks to lead her team into the post-season.

as he watched his teammates get outworked and out-hustled in an 8-0 shellacking. Brock got on the board early when a Badger forward beat Elliott through the legs at 3:17 of the first period. In the second period Brock added three more goals, including one Badger shot from behind that net that ricocheted off of a Warrior defenceman and past Elliott. Unlike the day before, Waterloo was not able to clear its opponents out from in front of its goaltender, nor was it capable of clearing rebounds that afforded second-

chance opportunities to the Badgers. In spite a number of quality chances to tie the game, including UW’s Nixon who tipped a Mike Clarke point shot, the Warriors failed to get on the board. Waterloo even had a goal called back in the third frame. Brock scored four more goals in the third period to cap off the romp with three of those coming in the last five minutes of the game. Despite being up four points on the last place Windsor Lancers, Waterloo (8-13-0-2) is still not in the clear for the last playoff positions. Windsor (7-

14-0-0) now has three games remaining, two away games against York (115-4-0) and one home game versus Western (18-3-0-0). UW’s last game of the regular season takes place on Saturday, February 14 in Guelph against the Griffins at 7:30 p.m. Regardless of the fact that Saturday’s game will be held on Valentine’s Day, don’t expect any love to be lost between the two highway seven rivals.

Continued from page 23

of 59-50. The Gryphons, who are part of the four-way log jam at second place in the OUA west, were able to put forth a balanced attack that proved to be just too much for the Warriors to handle, as six Guelph players scored more than 8 points in the victory. The Warriors were able to stick closely with the high-flying Gryphons throughout the match, as Devenny once again led the Waterloo offensive with 16 points and 4 rebounds. However, the Gryphons were just too much for Waterloo at the offensive end of the court. Guelph’s leading scorer was Stephanie Yallin with a modest 10 points. However, Jessica Nieuwland added 9 points, while Anne Marie Ssemanda, Tina Flynn, Kiley Little and Kathryn Nevar all chipped in with 8 points apiece. But their disappointing loss to Guelph was quickly forgotten thanks

to the Warriors’ victory over Brock. Waterloo looks to gain momentum from their emotional road victory in St. Catharine’s as they hope to finish out their OUA regular schedule on a winning note. The Warriors have three games remaining, as a pair of road games will bookend the Warriors’ final home date. On Sunday, Feb. 15 Waterloo will head south to play the Windsor Lancers before returning home to face the McMaster Marauders on Wednesday, February 18. The Warriors will close out their regular season on February 21 against Western before hopefully opening up the playoffs on the road. With one more win in their final three matches, Waterloo will lay claim to a much-coveted position in this season’s playoff picture.

— with files from UW Athletics rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Basketball: UW shows resiliency The Warriors were also able to claw their way to the free throw line more often against the Badgers and, unlike their loss to Western a few weeks ago, Waterloo was able to capitalize on their opportunities. They were successful on 19 of 29 free throw attempts, all the while limiting Brock to 22 trips to the foul line. Brock’s defeat at the hands of the Warriors drops them into a four-way tie for second place in the extremely tight OUA West division. The victory goes even further in assuring the Warriors a post-season berth, as they find themselves six points ahead of Lakehead for the division’s last playoff position. But before their win over Brock, The Warriors suffered through a tough road loss in Guelph, as the host Gryphons defeated Waterloo by a score

amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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