2003-04_v26,n31_Imprint

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Gradu-art

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Fine arts showcase at ECH —page 17

Must... destroy!

In celebration of pi —page 6

Student-run AIDS seminar a success Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

“Students hand-in-hand” was truly the driving force behind the all student-run HIV/AIDS seminar held on Saturday, March 13, organized by WPIRG and held at the Arts Lecture Hall. A group of very different and very fascinating lecturers were assembled to educate an audience full of students and community members on the extent of the HIV problem and how we can work to lessen our own fear and anxiety about it. The first speaker was Dr. Bridget Stirling, who has done HIV research abroad and now works at the Centre for Global Health Research in St. Michael’s Hospital at the University of Toronto. She urged the importance of HIV prevention methods and safe sex education through tales of her experiences in Africa and India, where there are vast HIV epidemics and numerous cases of young people acquiring the disease or being orphaned by parents with HIV. The charming Dr. Stirling compelled the audience with her discoveries, such as how, in Kenya, schoolgirls will have sex with a boy in exchange for a carton of milk. For reasons such as this, she would love to see a surge of safe-sex programs brought to these countries, including greater condom promotion and peer interventions for sex workers and promiscuous youth. According to Dr. Stirling, now is the time for HIV prevention activities in countries like Kenya, where these programs have proven to be both reasonable in cost and effective in lowering the infection count. Next up was Dr. Robert Remis, an associate professor with U of T’s

Department of Public Health Sciences. Dr. Remis teaches HIV trends all over Ontario, following rates of infection as the times change. Some statistics were amazing, such as the huge rise in HIV-positive men between 1985 and 1992 — when AIDS was just being explored by researchers and there was little awareness about it — and then the gradual decrease that followed when more education was available. However, Dr. Remis noted, we still have a terrible epidemic going on. Gay men, to whom the virus was once exclusively linked, are still contracting it in large numbers — as many as one in five gay men may be HIV positive in cities such as Toronto or Ottawa. Meanwhile, infections for heterosexuals have risen steadily throughout the ’90s and infections for needle drug users and people from HIV-endemic countries have lower but consistently prevalent infection rates. We need more information and less stigma, concluded Dr. Remis, for all this to change. Next up was Kimberly Hope Johnson, by far the most personal of the speakers. Johnson, who was diagnosed with HIV eight years ago, is a professional speaker on subjects including HIV, drug addiction and homelessness; she is also a self-described “ex-drug user, ex-con lesbian single mother.” A one-time drug-using alcoholic street kid in Toronto who turned her life around after bottoming out, Johnson uses her life as a model of what all HIV-positive people go through, since she can relate to how they feel and knows what they need to hear. See AIDS, page 5

Women’s fastpitch “not part of the house” Rod McLachlan IMPRINT STAFF

BIANCA TONG

Trevor Lane, of the fraternity Sigma Chi, bashes the you-know-what out of a computer in support of the Children’s Miracle Network on St. Patrick’s Day.

Picture this: you’re a member of a sports team at UW. Now imagine that your team is not allowed to use the “Warriors” name, is refused access to promote itself on the UW Athletics Web site and is denied even club status, as opposed to the varsity status that your team really wants. Now imagine that this same team that you play for is the Waterloo men’s football team. Few could argue that such a sad state of affairs would persist for very long. Yet this is the exact disheartening prospect the UW women’s fastpitch team is facing as it enters its third full season still pressing for varsity and OUA status.

In the fall of 2002 when the Waterloo women’s team first started competing in Ontario Intercollegiate Women’s Fastpitch Association (OIWFA), UW student Vicki Ferguson, then the team manager, approached UW director of athletics and recreation services Judy McCrae about granting the team varsity status. However, UW Athletics has only two distinctions when it comes to teams, varsity teams (official OUA or CIS sports) and club teams (Campus Recreation teams), and the fastpitch team fits into neither category. Some universities, such as Guelph, have four levels of status, under one of which each team falls. See FASTPITCH, page 23

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FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

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Neal Moogk-Soulis

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CROSSWORD

In light of Campus Day, why did you first decide to come to UW? by Julian Apong and Dan Micak

“For the sports.” Chris Manning

“Because of the boys.” Charmaine Ward

3B science

1B geography

March 12 solution

“I didn’t. I was forced.” Fraz Mahmood 2B math

“Co-op, before I got kicked out.” James (Guido) Colantonio 3B psychology

S O S U P S

L E A N L Y

N A P A L M

A P E R T S P H A I S K I R H A N T I L T E A R A U S U R P E K O E C E N E

A T R I A

B R O C C O O L T I I T O I N S T I M E

B A B U

E O Y R E A L A T E M E N T O I E S N G B O N E A P Y S H T A I R A L A O T A I E N L D S

N E V E R

I O N V U E E R T

I G C O A R S E A L S I L E A N T S

T I U T R T D D E A N N A

Y O N D E R

Glenn Stillar would probably live the life of a rock star if he could; but instead, he lives the life of a linguistics and “They didn’t have my program in B.C.” Velma Roberts 3B therapeutic recreation

“It suits my personality and the environment is really friendly.” Jacky Cheung prospective student

“I’d never heard of Waterloo when I applied.” Meagan Wilson

“I like the ducks... and for the kin program.” Keely Johnston

3A rec and leisure

4A kinesiology

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Across 1. Small dogs, barrels with legs. 5. Pre-Roman Gaul 9. Boastful talk 13. Having dismounted 14. Double-reed instruments 16. Remodel 17. A boastful coward, who’s asked to do the Fandango? 19. An African term for white people 20. Rundown apartment house 21. Scents 23. Greek goddess of the hunt 24. Conscious 25. 2,000 U.S. pounds, or 2,240 British pounds 26. Put a curse on 27. A soap ingredient 30. Paint applied in small strokes 33. The original unit of capacitance 34. A familiar term for a boy 35. What are you breathing? 36. Chordal concordance in music 38. An energy unit 39. The DNA transmitter 40. Traditional NDP support 41. A miniature whirlpool 42. Unlucky Greek letters 43. Hateful 44. A loud, harsh name 46. Beatles drummer 48. Between two states 52. All white person 54. The prime customers of airports U N C I A L

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English Prof. Glenn Stillar: never too cool for school.

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55. What Jack Spratt could only eat 56. Without logical connection 58. West German capital 59. Skin layer 60. Other than what was implied 61. American comedian Griffith 62. Swarm 63. An oracle Down 1. Italian staple 2. A stomach lesion often caused by stress 3. A huge man 4. Where many homeless live 5. A doorstep invitation 6. Poetic refection of ebony 7. An awkward stupid person 8. Topographic engineering center 9. A small water stream 10. Having gotten more gas 11. Jewish calendar month 12. Jewish term for Gentiles 15. Impresario 18. Rounds 22. A gallant, groovy dude. Oscar Wilde anyone?

24. Elder brother of Moses 26. Actor Matt, good heavens, he’s 34! 28. Three feet 29. Nervous or irritable 30. Mend socks 31. Japanese causasoids 32. This band could have seventy-six trombones 33. The religious friend of Robin Hood 36. What are you? 37. A fluidless barometer 41. Everything plural? 44. UAE penny 45. A small island 47. Metallic in sound 48. A major biotic community 49. Administer an oil 50. Overworked muscles 51. Acid and alcohol solution 52. Actress Jessica is a Dark Angel 53. Mexican city 54. A unit of area 57. The goalie’s charge

semiotics Prof. Okay, so it may not be as glamorous, but at least he still finds time to write, perform and record his own music on the side. Dr. Stillar joined UW’s English faculty back in ’93, shortly after obtaining his PhD from York’s Glendon College where he trained as a linguist and discourse analyst. In addition to teaching, Dr. Stillar has spent a good chunk of the last decade working as a forensic linguist — analyzing audiotapes of prisoners to determine whether they were admissible as evidence in court. In 1998, he published a book called Analyzing Everyday Texts, which looks at how language inscribes biases and ideologies. “We need to look at how texts are rhetorical,” he said. “The nature of language and the nature of rhetoric

doesn’t just come from our social organization, it helps shape our social organization.” In 1999, the Kenneth Burke Society conferred Dr. Stillar with the Emerging Scholar Award, an honour that recognizes young Burkeanesque academics. But lately, his research has focused on digital design — “sound and video, particularly.” In fact, he and a colleague are now launching a specialized program called digital arts communication. Stillar’s fascination with sound began with his love of music. He’s been a musician for years — most recently as part of his own one-man rock band called Phond. “I was trying to combine ‘phone’ as in ‘sound’ and ‘fond’ as in f-o-nd,” he explained. “Then I realized Phish does the ‘p-h’ thing and I felt really stupid.” If you’re interested in studying the science of language, look out for Glenn Stillar: part-time musician, fulltime professor and all-around good guy.

nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

— Lauren S. Breslin

NEWS

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Imprint news

3

Dueling peace signs

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A look at Palestine Week — page 4

Jack Layton visits the SLC

NDP leader discusses “Star Wars,” education and the environment

Mark Stratford

Warren Clarke

IMPRINT STAFF

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Jack Layton, leader of the federal New Democratic Party, clarified his position on many key political issues in a speech to students and members of the community Wednesday morning in the Student Life Centre. Layton, who is a former professor and holds a PhD from York University, will be running as the leader of the NDP in this year’s upcoming federal election. In an event sponsored by the NDP clubs of the University of Waterloo and Wilfrid Laurier University, Layton discussed a variety of topics, including the environment, education and the proposed US space missile system. The lecture was followed by an interactive question period, where students and community members voiced their concerns on many issues within Canadian politics. Approximately 350 people turned out for the hour-long event, which also introduced Edwin Laryea, the local NDP candidate for the upcoming federal election. At the beginning of his speech, Layton applauded UW for continuing to be at the forefront of the environmental protection movement . In outlining his vision for Canada’s future environmental policies, Layton suggested the re-investment of gas taxes into public transit and a more environmentally sound approach to the way cities are built. He also suggested a GST rebate on hybrid cars and an industrial agenda aimed at making Ontario a world leader in green automotive technologies. Layton levied harsh criticism at the current Liberal administration for continuing to subsidize fossil fuels, while allegedly neglecting green transportation technologies. He also criticized the current Liberal government of Paul Martin for its stance on President Bush’s proposed “Star Wars” space missile defence program. In his remarks, Layton said he believed Canadians do not wish to be involved in “the militarization of the last frontier.” Commenting on the effect of Canadian opposition to this program on Canada/US relations, Layton revealed that he had spoken to members of Congress about this issue, and stated that “a Canadian voice for peace can influence American public opinion and strengthen the position of peace-lovers within the U.S.” During a post-speech interview, Layton outlined in more detail some of his views related to policies that are specifically important to students. He asserted that the NDP was the only

Universities/Colleges •

A student at Grande Prairie Regional College in Alberta was awarded $21,470 earlier this month in a small claims case against the school. After being denied admission into the music education program, Heather Crerar listened to a school advisor who told her to take university transfer courses, only to find those courses did not satisfy her entry requirements. Crerar testified that she had to take an additional semester of courses and two sessions of summer school to make up for it. The judge ruled the college had breached its “duty of care” in their counselling of Crerar.

•

A sex carnival was held at University of Toronto last month to raise funds for a local rape crisis centre. A walking vagina mascot, a game called “coochie toss” and a “spanking booth” were some of the exhibits. Flyers from local sex shops and sex toys of all sizes were also on display. Reportedly, the response to the event was favourable, with only a few students outraged and, according to the student who donned the vagina costume, a few people stepping up to “massage the clitoris.”

ROD MCLACHLAN

Jack Layton, leader of the national NDP, takes a Canadian flag wherever he goes. party “willing to invest in post-secondary education.” Layton proposes the use of the current government surplus to fund education in order to relieve the debt load of individual students.

“A Canadian voice for peace can influence American public opinion and strengthen the position of peace-lovers within the U.S.” — Jack Layton federal NDP leader The government of Canada has created a surplus for the last six years, with last year’s total recorded at $7 billion. Much of that surplus has been used to pay off existing government debt, which at the end of 2002 stood at $510.6 billion.

In reference to the proposed privatization of universities and other post-secondary institutions, Layton and the New Democrats remain opposed. “If our universities become funded by private corporate interests,” Layton said, “there is a growing danger that the focus of intellectual work will be directed towards those things that are most profitable to those companies.” In 2001, the DeVry Institute for Technology established campuses in Alberta, becoming the first private, for-profit university in Canada. Since then much debate has centered around the issue of private post-secondary institutions within Canada and their effect on Canadian values and education. Layton believes that these institutions will “reduce academic freedom” within universities, in regards to research and areas of study. He also asserted his view that more student involvement and exciting new policies of importance to students would encourage young people to vote and become more active in the political process. The Kitchener-Waterloo riding candidate Edwin Laryea conveyed a similar opinion, stating that he plans to engage youth on both a party and non-party level in preparation for the next election.

Canada •

Toronto MP Tom Wappel is calling for nutritional information to be posted on restaurant menus, and has given his sponsorship to a private member’s bill that would make it law to do so. Wappel, who describes himself as a “former Big Mac junkie,” feels that this information could help parents make healthier decisions for their children. The U.S. government has since asked food manufacturers to do the same. New research in the US shows that 30 per cent of children in the States eat a fast food meal on any given day.

•

Rob Dyer, a 20-year-old from Newmarket, Ontario, is attempting to skateboard from Los Angeles, California all the way back to his hometown in an effort to raise money for cancer research. A small crew will accompany Dyer on the “skate4cancer” journey, which will cover over 220 days and almost 5,000 kilometres. Dyer, who lost his mother to cancer last September, will give the donations to both the American and Canadian Cancer Societies. A travelogue will be kept and donations can be made at skate4cancer.com.

International •

A new law was made official yesterday in Singapore stating that chewing gum used as a “therapeutic” or medical aid may be chewed in public without fear of arrest. Such brands of gum include the nicotine substitute Nicorette and sugar-free gums that come with dentists’ recommendations. Singapore made chewing gum illegal in 1992, as they found it often littered streets, buildings and public transit systems. The penalty for smuggling or mail-order purchasing outlawed chewing gum into Singapore is up to a year in jail and a fine of approximately $7,800. mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint news

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FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

A Palestinian perspective Bianca Tong and Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

Whereas last week saw the SLC’s Great Hall decorated with the cultural and symbolic displays of Israeli Week, this week was Palestine Week — a time for Palestinians to deliver their message of peace. One person whose presence seemed to be everywhere was that of Rachel Corrie, the member of the International Solidarity Movement whose life was cut short during a demonstration last year. There were several displays featuring photographs of the young woman, along with declarations on how she was killed fighting for peace, as well as personal documents including copies of e-mails Corrie had sent to her parents just prior to her death. The giant white screen flashed images of people in the streets mourning Corrie’s death. Other photos of people who had been killed or injured in protests were also abundant. The Students For Palestinian Rights was one of several groups present to try and put the Arab-Israeli conflict in perspective for everyone. One member of the group, Amira Aker, explained that the conflict touches every Palestinian she knows, since she claimed they have all been affected in different ways, some even imprisoned or tortured.

MARGIE MANSELL

Pillows, blankers and a mortar and pestle were among the items that sat in the middle of this week’s Palestinian displays. Another group present at the event, the Jewish Youth Against the Occupation, is an activist group who visits other schools and speaks with their representatives. A member, Yehuda Nestel, said that he found the ambience at UW to be very peaceful; students here, he said, are more willing to calmly discuss Palestinian issues and concerns. Nestel, a self-described “peacenik,� describes events at such schools as York to be very tense with lots of yelling and screaming, which is exactly what his group aims to end. The point of his organization is to dispel the myth that there are only two factions in this conflict and that there are peo-

ple on each side that want to make peace with the other side. Other displays included those by the Niagara Palestinian Association and Christian Peacemaker Teams. A cultural table was also set up, featuring decorative pillows, scripture and other cultural items. The Palestinian displays were rife with striking images intended to get their side across, from upsetting portraits of victims to a poster of a dove chained in a jail cell. There ends two weeks of opposing views on a conflict that can hopefully be resolved. btong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Co-op enhancement planning begins Extensive for engineers, easier on artsies Neal Moogk-Soulis IMPRINT STAFF

Co-op enhancement for arts students will be noticeably less work than what is projected for engineering students, it was announced at a seminar on Thursday, March 11. Planning is in its initial stages, said associate dean of arts for special programs Emanuel Carvalho, but he foresees that the program will be different. “We will move ahead but probably not the way that engineering is doing it.� Co-op enhancement is the teaching of soft-skills with the goal of improving the marketable skills of coop students. Co-op students currently receive 0.5 credits for a completed work term and a completed work report. With co-op enhancement, students would receive an additional 0.5 credits after completing an instructional module. Carvalho explained that this would update the Waterloo co-op program to make it similar to the programs at other universities where students currently receive academic credit for work placements. Waterloo’s credit system, which grants 0.5 credits per course, is why the work experience credit is divided between the two half credits. The engineering enhancement program will involve a series of designated modules that students will be required to complete over the course

of their work terms. Engineering students will likely spend at least one evening or a few hours per week reviewing course material and then completing some type of evaluation exercise. The arts faculty will be taking a different approach. Carvalho said that the main goal of co-op enhancement for engineering students was to teach them soft skills, skills that arts students for the most part already know. Consequently, he saw a dramatically lighter workload ahead. “I would be surprised if the course material and the evaluation work took more than three hours each per module,� he said. Students would be expected to complete one module per term. The modules, which have yet to be developed, would likely include a lecture-style component, likely a CDROM or online materials similar to a distance education course in delivery, and an evaluation component. There could be skills-based components, including software training or designing Web pages, and there could also be knowledge components like ethics course or workplace communication. One possibility would be to create a library of modules for students to choose the modules that they would be interested in. English professor, Kathy Acheson, who has been involved with the planning, told the students, “We are not looking to add stress to your already burdensome

work terms. We don’t think we need to give as hard-nosed instructions on the soft skills [as the engineering faculty].� Despite initial concerns, the students at the seminar were supportive of the initiative. “I think this is a positive step to making our students more competitive,� said Manique Weerasinghe. Nick Jones, who had some initial fear of a dramatically increased workload, said, “I commend the library idea. It’s a great way to go with it.� Students are encouraged to contact Prof. Carvalho with concerns or suggestions for co-op modules. Planning remains in the preliminary stages and the first arts co-op enhancement courses would likely arrive in 2006. The engineering co-op enhancement program will offer its first modules in Winter 2005. nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Correction In last week’s story, “AWE opening global doors for students,� Christina Paradiso was misquoted. A sentence in the article should have read, “Paradiso says that working in the developing world is ‘not just giving out food or building wells.’�

Imprint news

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

City housing policy flawed

5 Summer Camp Jobs in the U.S.A. Lakeside Residential Girls Camp in Maine - Visas Arranged Counselors: Combined childcare/teaching. Must be able to teach or lead one or more

Ryan Chen-Wing UWRYAN . COM City of Waterloo staff have produced a 57-page discussion paper on student housing that provides background information and research and offers a number of options. Both Feds President Chris Edey and director of business operations Bud Walker from the University of Waterloo are proposing more medium-density development be allowed in the neighbourhood east of UW around Hickory Street and Albert Street. This area is already 80 per cent students, according to the Feds housing study. This would provide more spaces close to UW. City staff favour the particular option which would generally promote housing along major streets like University Avenue, Columbia Street and Erb Street. It could also include restrictions on rental housing elsewhere, like an increase in the 75-metre spacing restriction on certain lodging house classes. The supposed merits of this “major streets model� are based on flawed information and unrealistic assumptions.

First, the study acknowledges that students would prefer to live close to campus. This is partly based on a study done by Pam Charbonneau, marketing manager for residences, for her graduate thesis. According to the study, 96 per cent of students want to live within 20 minutes of campus. The actual figures are that 70 per cent of students surveyed would prefer to live within 10 minutes with 26 per cent preferring within 20 minutes. This is like telling someone that you would prefer to pay less than $10 for something and him saying you want to pay less than $20. Ten is less than 20, but it won’t get us better housing. This distortion is important to the major streets model because it would provide more housing further from campus. A ten minute walk from either the SLC or Dana Porter won’t get you much past Albert Street or through Waterloo Park. This should give a clear picture of where student housing development should be encouraged. A second poor assumption that city staff make is that you can walk between points two kilometres apart in 20 minutes. This doesn’t account for having to walk around buildings, around blocks or over hills. When talking about housing close to the campuses, policy planner Dan Currie sometimes shows a map with circles of 2 km radius around the two cam-

puses. The larger you draw the circle, the more supposedly suitable housing you can say is close to campus. A third problem is that housing near one university is considered close to both. This is not as much of a problem for Laurier because it is surrounded by residential areas. UW, on the other hand, is bounded by Waterloo Park to the south, north campus to the north and low-density Beechwood neighbourhood to the west, leaving the Albert and Hickory neighbourhood to the east. The paper refers to a housing development at the Brighton School site (on the far side of Laurier from UW) as near the universities. Brighton is close to Laurier, but is not near UW. Those poor assumptions in the study are promoting an inferior response to student housing concerns and concerns of other residents in the city. Trying to push student housing out of already existing student neighbourhoods and into narrow strips of the city further from campus will only encourage some unscrupulous landlords to continue to operate illegally. Residents in certain areas don’t want students living in their “backyards.� The city should allow student housing around Albert and Hickory so we can live in our own “backyards.�

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www.kippewa.com Kippewa, Box 340, Westwood, Massachusetts, 02090-0340, U.S.A. tel: 781-762-8291 | fax: 781-255-7167

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rchen-wing@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

AIDS: more resources are needed internationally Continued from cover

For example, Johnson realizes that people with the virus do not benefit from hearing other people’s sob stories or being pitied, and that it only does more damage when HIV-prevention training means scaring young people into not having sex. She also echoed Dr. Stirling by voicing her disappointment in the way North America ignores HIV victims overseas and how we don’t send them money and medical supplies even though we have both. “We have the resources. We’re just not very good at sharing,� she proclaimed. Johnson’s overall message was that whether we have the virus or not, we need to always protect ourselves and show our love and support for others. Her blunt, straight-forward approach to the crowd was unexpected and most welcome, and her extremely personal details and first-hand education resonated deeply with the audience. Dr. Brian Cornelson, an HIV primary care physician at St. Michael’s, spoke on the importance of caring for people living with HIV. Dr. Cornelson reflected on the emergence of AIDS information in the ‘80s, which was then a string of incidents where men in the gay community were getting sick and no one could figure out why. As a gay man himself, Dr. Cornelson realizes that homophobia is one reason the HIV problem persists, as well as a fear of the unknown and the fact that even some doctors still believe they can catch it simply by caring for an HIV patient.

MARK STRATFORD

Dr. Robert Remis and Dr. Bridget Stirling break for lunch at St. Jerome’s cafeteria after a long morning of enlightening UW-ers.

“We have the resources. We’re just not very good at sharing.� — Kimberly Hope Johnson motivational speaker and HIV patient

Dr. Cornelson provided a history of HIV care over the years, admitting that doctors had no idea how to treat it at first and that misinformation led to a lot of preventable deaths. Now, we have the meds, but taking 20 to 30 pills a day can be very physically and

mentally taxing. Still, doctors can keep these patients alive, and Dr. Cornelson is delighted to help them personally. “I work with heroes, the ones who live with it every day,� he said. “It gives me a sense of meaning, a sense of purpose. People live longer because of what I can provide them.� The seminar ended with a speech from the president of U of T’s Students Against Global AIDS (SAGA), Dan Ben-Aron, about what we can do as students to make a difference. The unspoken response of the crowd was that erasing society’s stereotypes and misperceptions about the virus is the first step in preventing further HIV infections and just might save a few lives. mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Imprint news

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Be warned! Campaign Waterloo going public next week! Bianca Tong IMPRINT STAFF

Campaign Waterloo, the massive fundraising effort of the new millennium will be publicly launched Tuesday, March 23, 2004. The initiative, spearheaded to promote, foster and attract talent at the University of Waterloo, will get its chance in the spotlight next week. Under the banner “Building A Talent Trust,” the campaign has visibly provided students with many opportunities and resources. Among them, we can count the recently opened Centre for Environmental and Information Technology, the SLC third floor expansion, and the fitness facilities at Columbia Icefields. One significant contribution by J.R. Coutts of $7 million allowed for the expansion of the Engineering Lecture Hall dubbed the “Submarine.” Also created through the fund are numerous programs and scholarships, including new programs in entrepreneurship, nanotechnology and mechatronics. New projects seen to fruition also include Enterprise Co-op, the School of Accountancy, and a Centre for Education in Mathematics and Computing. The students’ contribution to Campaign Waterloo started with the so-called “Watpaign” referendum. Some turbulence was encountered, with the overturning of the original approval of the expansion of the SLC, and the North Campus Athletic facilities. The reason for the nullification of the result was that wording of the project descriptions changed during the referendum period, indicating that students had to begin paying the $13.80 Campaign Waterloo fee after three of the facilities were completed, rather than four. The Feds Board of Directors later reinstated the approval for the expansion of the facilities. Students have to pay the fee for 25 years or until the projects are paid off. The fee was supposed to have been added to

students’ tuition statements in fall 2003, but was not because the facilities had not yet been completed. Because of the recent openings this term of the CIF fitness center, the third floor of the SLC, we may anticipate the addition of the $13.80 this coming up spring term. To date, students have contributed $9 million. In UW’s history, one fundraising campaign per decade has been held, with this one being the most ambitious, shooting for $260 million. The fundraising campaign of the ‘90s raised $86 million. Started in 2000, this effort raised $106 million by fall of 2002, and is currently at around $175 million. The campaign will end in 2007, on the advent of the University of Waterloo’s 50th anniversary. The direction of the campaign was initially drafted by President David Johnston, VP Academic and Provost Amit Chakma, and the respective deans of each faculty on campus, and sought to provide a solid infrastructure for the future of UW. It is by no means a static initiative, with many projects forming or dropping out as the face of the needs of the university change. Not to be forgotten are the contributors to the fund that have made all of these opportunities possible. Students, alumni, faculty, staff, private donors and 400 campaign volunteers can be satisfied that their contributions are for a good cause. As the first contributors to the campaign, President Johnston wished to thank the students for being the driving force. “A great debt of gratitude is owed to students. Thank you.” The public launch for the campaign will take place next Tuesday, March 23 beginning at 11:30 am in the Great Hall of the Davis Centre. It is set to be a big hoopla, with appearances by the UW Cheerleading squad and the UW Warrior band. For more info, visit www.campaign.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

e to the i pi I say! Negative!

BIANCA TONG

Beautiful geometrical figures such as the circle and the sphere got their day in the spotlight Monday, as Pi Day was celebrated in the Math building. Usually held on March 14 every year, Mathies and the like revelled in the day-late festivities which started at 1:59 p.m. Free pie for all was being given out at 1:59 p.m., and a pi-digit recitation competition was held at 3:14 p.m. The winner of the this last mind-boggling feat was Stef Simmons, who recited a rather impressive 353 digits of pi. Pictured above are Math Soc president Lino Demasi and Prof. Robert Andre.

btong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Spam clan scamming in Kitchener gets busted Also, budding writers take note of new writing contest and the results of the CASA referendum Calling all submissions for New Quarterly writing contest

Lauren S. Breslin, Mark Stratford and Bianca Tong IMPRINT STAFF

Kitchener: spam capital of the world

As part of a massive crackdown on unsolicited emails, or spam, Yahoo! Inc. recently sued a Kitchener family whom they are calling the world’s largest spammers. Eric Head, 25, Matthew Head, 21, and their father Barry are accused of contributing to what has become a multibillion-dollar nuisance for companies and PC users around the world. In June of 1998, at the age of 19, Eric Head set up his own company in his parents’ home called Gold Disk Canada Inc. Yahoo! now alleges that the business was used to harvest and sell e-mail addresses to companies specializing in bulk marketing. According to his Web site, the Heads’ prices ranged from $29.99 for 100,000 addresses and up to $1,599.99 for 10 million addresses. The business supposedly generated hundreds of millions of unsolicited e-mails, including 94 million in January alone. A little known fact is that Canada is the only industrialized nation with no law banning spam.

The New Quarterly, Waterloo’s award-winning literary journal, is holding its “richest” writing contest to date. Categories include Story, Poetry and Creative Non-Fiction, with $300 first-place prizes and $200 second-place prizes for each. First-place winners will also be published in the magazine. An entry fee of $25 comes with a one-year subscription to the New Quarterly. Writers can include one story, or one article, or up to five poems per entry. Submissions should include a cover letter with the writer’s name, contact information and the titles of the pieces submitted. The name of the writer should not appear on the piece itself. Entries must be postmarked by March 31. They will not be returned, but writers may include a self-addressed stamped envelope for notification of contest results. More information on the contest is available at newquarterly.uwaterloo.ca.

per cent. To be a binding vote, the majority has to encompass at least seven per cent of the eligible voting populace. Of the votes cast, the majority of the votes were in favour of the Feds leaving CASA, with 50.19 per cent. 42.89 per cent were in favour of continuing membership, while 6.91 per cent declined their vote. Board directors, environmental services and architects, oh my!

In a surprising turnout at the Feds AGM on Tuesday, official business including the election of next year’s Board of Directors, and the promotion of the UW Sustainability Project to a service status were the center of attention in the Great Hall of the SLC. Also on the agenda was the overhauling of the Co-op Council’s structure, and the addition of an architecture chair to the Committee of Presidents. It was not a surprise as a large proportion of voting members left after the votes for UWSP and the Architecture seats were held, leaving a noticeably emptier audience. The Feds, with the absence of Dave Capper, also gave their summaries of the 2003/2004 year, ending with an impressive number of accomplishments, and noting the potholes and roadblocks that they had come up against.

Binding? Not in the least Rethinking the war in Iraq

In a referendum that didn’t even come close to achieving quorum, UW students made it loud and clear that.. they just don’t care. Out of a possible 20,817 voters, 767 logged onto the Feds Web site March 10 and 11, a turnout of just 3.68

Were the Americans justified in their invasion of Iraq? A new film called “Uncovered: The Whole Truth About the Iraq War” examines this question through the use of interviews with CIA

operatives, US government officials and UN weapons inspectors. Students are welcome to attend a free screening of the film on Monday, March 22 at noon in the Conrad Grebel Great Hall (room 1111). The film is approximately one hour long, and a discussion will follow. This event is sponsored by the UW Peace and Conflict Studies program and the Christian Peacemaker Teams Ontario. Background information about the film is available at www.truthuncovered.com. Aboriginal women: sisters in spirit

The UW aboriginal student office and the UW aboriginal student association are teaming up to host an event in honour of native females who have experienced violence in Canada. The event will coincide with the Native Women’s Association of Canada’s campaign launch to end violence against aboriginal women. The event comes in light of recent events involving native women. There are over 500 native women currently missing in Canada and all the identified victims of the Picton, British Columbia pig farmer murders were aboriginal women. The event will take place Thursday, March 22 at 7:30 p.m. at MacKirdy Hall in St. Paul’s College. The event will include guest speakers, aboriginal singers and a candlelight vigil. Everyone is invited to attend. lbreslin@imprint.uwaterloo.ca mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca btong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Imprint news

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OPINION 8

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004 Imprint is published by Imprint Publications Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

How to respond to terrorism

Take my advice — I’m giving it out anyway

support it. For example, the Beijing government has oppressed millions of Tibetans, yet few of them see this as a justification for killing Chinese. Instead, they choose the path of peaceALEXANDER GUTFRAIND ful resistance. Chinese people are Terrorist attacks on March 11 killed discriminated against by the Malay over 200 people in Madrid. This was government but none choose to rethe largest terror attack ever in Eu- spond violently. In contrast to these, rope. How should Spain deal with there are others who have the fundthe atrocity? What should Canada do ing and ideology to execute and jusif terrorists hit us? There are two tify killing but no conceivable causes. Does anybody really buy the excuses schools giving opposite answers. The first school argues that terror- given by the Columbine high school ism is an extreme response to griev- killers? Where do we rank the “cruances. Thus, when a group of people sader occupation of Spain and Iraq” are denied economic opportunities — the al-Qaida justification of the or are repressed, some of them will recent attacks? Most terrorists are middle class respond violently. Some of them will lawyers, engineers even attack civilians. and students. Most According to this “sohave never been afciological” school, the Stop al-Qaida fected by the injuswar against terror is tices they claim to fought by dealing before it fight. Americans with the original grievacquires nukes never personally ance. Thus, Spain should not have sup- and other WMD. hurt Mohammad Atta, the 9/11 ringported the controverleader. Neither did sial invasion of Iraq. America should have evacuated the American companies rob bin Laden of his $100 million fortune. The alMiddle East. The second school views terror- Qaida gang is driven above all by ists as an ideological or political move- virulent hatred. Resolving the Midment. However, unlike Greenpeace dle East conflict is a worthy goal but for example, terrorists view their it will not drive al-Qaida out of busiend as justifying any loss of life. This ness. Jailing its leadership and stop“ideological” school argues that ter- ping its funding will. At this point, western democraror can be stopped though enlightened defiance. This entails demon- cies really do have a choice. We can strating that terror does not pay and show defiance and get back at the fighting terrorists as an organiza- killers or continue as we do now – tion — cutting their funding, re- divided in tactics and strategy. The moving supportive governments first strategy will give bin Laden more and stopping the spread of violent targets than he can hit. It will prevent killers from manipulating democraideology. Evidence suggests that the sec- cies with fear — as they did in Spain. ond view is more correct. Grievances It may stop al-Qaida before it acdo not lead to violence unless there is quires nukes and other WMDs. The ideology, organization and dollars to latter is too horrible to contemplate.

Christine Baker

Friday, March 19, 2004 —

Good advice — really good — is rare. You usually remember it for a long time and use it as often as you can. I don’t mean the generalized blanket advice like “trust your instincts” and “it will all be better in the morning” which could just as well turn out badly. I mean really good advice like “dump that jerk, love yourself for who you are, try the sushi.” Bad advice, on the other hand, is easy to come by. “It’ll be fine, trust latex, eat this soap” — whatever. Anyone can give bad advice. Some of it is so bad that I wonder how people come up with it. A friend of mine bought a wedding dress two sizes too small because she was told that it was a good motivation to lose weight for her wedding. Not a good idea. Need-

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As someone who gets the hiccups often, I have heard lots of advice in this field. Drink upside down, eat a spoonful of sugar etc. — So, what new magical wisdom would I be imparted with this time? “I hold my breath,” she said. Oh, thanks. I’ve never heard that one before. Ever. She no doubt meant to help me out with her advice. There is not a doubt in my mind that her intentions were golden but sometimes being presented with beat-your-head-against-the-wall obvious advice is annoying. Far better than bad advice but certainly just as useful — or useless as the case may be. I guess it’s all in your attitude and what you do with the advice is up to you. I personally find it annoying, others might just find it kind. I guess some people are always looking on the bright side. And as Martha Stewart once said when making lemonade, “if you want it sweeter, add more sugar.” Thanks, Martha. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Are you a top or bottom? Aaron Cowan UNDEFEATED One of the most obvious ways in which gay relationships differ from heterosexual relationships can be found in the physical equipment. In this respect, gay men can’t take what straight couples so easily take for granted; the immediate assumption that one partner will act as the sexual penetrator while the other partner will act as the receiver. Unofficially gay men usually identify themselves into one of the follow-

Vol. 26, No. 31

Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief, Christine Baker editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Assistant Editor, Lauren Breslin Cover Editor, Dan Micak News Editor, Bianca Tong News Assistant, Mark Stratford Opinion Editor, Sarah Allmendinger Opinion Assistant, Phil Weiner Features Editor, Tim Alamenciak Features Assistant, Sarah Lau Arts Editor, Matt Charters Arts Assistant, Garick Stevenson Science Editor, vacant Science Assistant, Azadeh Samadi Sports Editor, Adam McGuire Sports Assistant, Rod McLachlan Photo Editor, Margie Mansell Photo Assistant, Rebecca Zhou Graphics Editor, Julian Apong Graphics Assistant, Jessica Sanson

FACTS OF LIFE

less to say, she had to buy another dress just weeks before the wedding. That being said, I would suggest that the majority of the advice that we get is just mediocre. Useless. We have all at some time or another given or received mediocre advice — the kind that is useless while being harmless. It’s like a knee-jerk reaction to someone in need of help — give them advice. It’s some instinct to impart knowledge that we may or may not have. My favourite of this brand of advice is the “just relax” brand. You approach a friend or acquaintance to unburden yourself. You complain about how stressed out you are, how nothing is getting done, blah, blah. Their response — just relax. Big help. As if it had never crossed my mind to relax — just not worry about it. If it were that easy, no one would be stressed out, now would they? Once, I stood in line hiccupping my way to the checkout counter. “You know what I do when I get the hiccups,” said the woman behind the checkout.

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ing three sexual categories; “top,” “bottom” or “versatile.” In general, a “top” refers to a gay man who prefers to anally penetrate his partner, while a “bottom” is more often on the receiving end of the penetration. As one might imagine, a gay man who refers to himself as “versatile” prefers both sexual positions almost equally. Understanding what the terms “top,” “bottom” and “versatile” refer to is perhaps one of the first things that a gay man should seek to understand upon outing themselves into the gay community. I say this because despite what an individual’s intentions are, it seems that the “top or bottom” question comes up more often than one might initially think. Being the extremely personal topic it is, there seems

to be an expectation amongst gay men that such information should be readily shared upon simply being asked. In any type of relationship, sexual gratification can be important. This is why I believe that so many gay men feel that they must identify themselves into a specific sexual category and why we also feel that it is something that we should not be ashamed to share with each other. Just as it is for our straight counterparts, sexual satisfaction can be an important aspect in many types of relationships. As each individual gay man possesses his own sexual preferences, it is important to find someone who can both understand one’s sexual preferences and also seek to fulfill them.

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Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Andrew Dilts Vice-president, Matt Strauss Treasurer, Neal Moogk-Soulis Secretary, Michelle Titus Staff liaison, Mike Kerrigan staff.liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Production assistant, Andrea Kerswill

See SEX, page 13

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Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Marriage doom RAJAT SURI

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink” — Lady Astor to Winston Churchill. “Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.” — his reply. “So when is my favourite nephew getting married?” Family gathering, December 2003. My mom, my dad, my two annoying sisters on their sides — and my pesky aunt. All staring at me as I chewed slowly, trying to buy time. “Uhh…I’d rather not, actually.” Forks freeze, eyes swivel and my aunt’s glasses seem to require readjusting. My sisters are trying to contain their giggles. Sigh. I should have known it would be a mistake to come just for the free food. “And why not?” If looks could kill, I’d have a scholarship named after me. “Uhhhh... it’s not really worth it, I think.” All hell would have broken loose right then if my father did not smoothly intervene with a witty diatribe on the corn situation in Iowa. We never came back to the subject, but what each person thought was clearly written on their faces. “If that boy was thrashed soundly in his childhood, none of this would have happened” — my aunt. “How will he ever eat if he doesn’t get married? That boy can’t even make Pop Tarts properly” — my mother. “Wahoo! Now I can buy a BMW with all his wedding money” — my dad. “He must be gay” — my sisters. Alright then, be that way. But picture this. You’re working. Early thirties. Married with two kids. Dead end job in a multinational corporation, just another extension number on the database. House with a mortgage extending for the next 20 years. You’d like to go back to school, get a masters. Maybe go parasailing in the Bahamas. Help feed the poor in Africa. Visit the cornfields in Iowa, even. But you can’t. Cause you’re married. And you’re bound to this fate — forever. Fate of the average married Joe? I’d say so. Now, now, don’t cry! It’s not as bad as it sounds! Ok, ok so it is. Maybe some of you already have plans for marriage and the bleak future I’ve just described. If so, what you really

need is not a engagement ring, but a lobotomy and a slap across the head. What were you thinking!! Is she or he worth alllll that? Not to mention a spiralling divorce rate. And the way the post-nups are going nowadays, the guys are lucky if they can keep their monogrammed underwear after it’s gone through the courts. So you’re thinking, how did I get caught up in the mess? Where’s my life going/gone? Why didn’t anyone warn me? Shouldn’t the U.S. have used colour coded marriage warnings instead of those useless terrorist alerts? Really, what’s the real danger here? The ladies hate me now. (Yes…‘now’). “You’ve never been in love!” they’re screaming. “You don’t know how wonderful a loving marriage is!” Oh yeah. Love. I almost forgot. We’re all such loving individuals right — we all get married and our hearts expand as we love our children and neighbours and pets and SUVs and — aww. Michelle Titus is getting blearyeyed already. Why don’t you go talk about love to the poor kids in Africa, millions of whom die every year due to the poverty in that continent. But no, those kids don’t deserve our love. We’d give up everything for a person who already has everything, but we won’t give up five bucks or a few hours of our time for people who might not live another day. Aww, so much love. It’s society my friends. Your friends get hooked up. And since they’re all busy with their significant others, you feel lonely and think that the only way out is to get hooked up, too. And soon your own single friends feel like they need to. Soon, everyone believes that the only way to a happy, fulfilling life is a marriage. And that’s how it starts. But don’t you all go off running to Africa now. Some of us really should get married — how else would mankind, the global economy and Friends continue? I myself am the product of a happy marriage. But it doesn’t mean that each and every one of us should be caught in the endless cycle that we call life. So try doing something else with your life apart from a 9-5 and two kids. Not to say that that’s pointless, but aren’t there enough people doing that already? I’m sure if you really thought about it, you could come up with a better future for yourself and everyone around you. And please don’t give me any crap about love. Mother Teresa knew love. Chances are the rest of us still have much to learn.

9

Say it again, Jack Mike Kerrigan SOBER THOUGHTS Every once and a while it’s fun to check out what the opposition is up to. This past Wednesday, Jack Layton, leader of the Federal NDP came to speak about his vision of the future of Canada in the Student Life Centre. I’d like to claim some sort of superior position based on the dozen or so students who approached me asking who the guy was during his speech, but I’d expect the same if Paul Martin spoke at the political deadwater of our campus. To their credit, the NDP club managed to get out a large audience of students to hear Layton speak. I don’t think anyone present was particularly surprised by anything that Layton had to say. He largely presented the standard fare that you’d expect from the NDP: if we don’t start acting on environmental issues now our entire

planet will be destroyed; poor people will have trouble paying for certain services, so they should be free to everyone insociety;businesses—particularlybanks — making money is a societal evil and demonstrates that their taxes are too low; and President Bush is a jackass because he supports policies other than those that the NDP promote. I’m probably being a little too hard

The NDP actually stands for a number of strong principles on the NDP. I actually do have a great deal of respect for the party. Despite the fact that I used to be a strong supporter before I learned more about politics, I still admire the fact that the NDP actually stands for a number of strong principles, regardless of how misjudged I think those principles happen to be. After a few minutes of trying to pin down a member of the Liberal youth on a single position on any issue, a long

BAR FLIES

debate with one of my friends in the NDP is a welcome change. But of course they shouldn’t get an easy pass either. Layton had virtually nothing to say about how to achieve economic growth in Canada, an issue that any party should be seriously discussing, regardless of their leaning. Although he may be loath to admit it, economic growth enables a country to spend more on its social programs — a healthy economic base is essential for a strong social safety net. A simple look at the living standards of the poor in any two otherwise identical countries after they diverged in their economic paths underscores how important this growth is: no poor South Korean would rather live in the ‘People’s’ Democratic Republic of South Korea, West Germany had much higher standards of living than the communist East Germany at all levels of society before the countries reunited and Taiwan’s market based economy has provided significantly more opportunities to its people than that of the Chinese government that they escaped from. See LAYTON, page 13

Ian Blechschmidt

Waterloo Co-operative Residence Inc.

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FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

MARK JOHNSON

I’d like to respond to the health care columns by the Conservatives and NDP in last week’s Imprint. The NDP, in all fairness, are admirably dedicated to our universal medicare system, but the Mike Kerrigan shocked me when he painted Canadians as being naĂŻve and incompetent for not considering “alternativesâ€? to universal medicare. Mr. Kerrigan even compared those who support our universal health care system to medieval zealots who burned witches at the stake! The Conservatives created medicare and yet some apparently self-hating Conservatives are opposing what is the pride of Canada and the envy of the world. No issue concerns Canadians more than medicare. We Liberals are proud to be committed to its protection. Unfortunately, our universal health care system has come under increasing attack lately. The hardcore privatisers in the Conservative Party would have us sell our hospitals, our country and maybe our souls to the Americans. Profit-mad US corporations have been attempting to hijack our system and have it mimic American-style private health care. The Conservatives have an irritating habit of distorting the facts. While they may favour “universal accessâ€? to medicare, that doesn’t forbid privatisation, and although they say (publicly) they want to ensure access to everyone, Canadians are concerned that the Tories may introduce a user-pay system and gut our

precious Canada Health Act. The Liberal Party of Canada remains entirely committed to the Act, which ensures public administration, comprehensiveness, accessibility, portability and universality. Beware the sinister Conservative doublespeak! While they are good at faking sincerity, politicians such as the Tory MP for Calgary Southeast and the former Alliance MP for Esquimalt-Juan de Fuca have been strong advocates of private health care. Stephen Harper, Belinda Stronach and Tony Clement, the three lacklustreTories vying for the Conservative leadership, have all made statements promoting the privatisation, i.e. firesale the the rich, of health care. Some may wonder why we Liberals are so driven to maintain Canada’s universal health care system. The main reason why I personally support it is because it is far, far cheaper than Americanstyle privatised health care. Our health care, on a per capita basis, costs roughly half of what the American system does. Our percentage of GDP spent on health care is also much lower than that of the Americans; we are getting fantastic value for our money. In addition, the Canadian system includes everyone, whereas in the United States, close to 50 million Americans are without medical insurance and would likely be refused admission if they tried to go to a US hospital. This is a dangerous path to pursue and Canada must have no part of it. Think about it: presently we have the government run our health care system, and the costs are relatively low. Tory governments in Ontario and Alberta have, unfortunately, been opening privately run health care facilities known as

P3s. How these operate is that a private company runs the health care service, but the government pays the bills. Seems fair enough. The dark side is that because these corporations are in the business to profit, the bills for these health services will be much higher than they are now. Canada’s health care system will see its costs soar to new, astonishing heights. The Liberals will stop this from happening. The Conservatives are all in favour of privatisation and just don’t care that the costs to the taxpayer will skyrocket! Then again, they have never been a party concerned with the public interest; they’re usually more concerned with pursuing their vendetta of privatisation-at-any-cost, no matter how much the average taxpayer gets screwed. A key to reducing costs within the medicare system is to focus more on prevention. This is why the Ontario Liberals have been talking of a smoking ban in all public places. Discouraging cigarette use could potentially save billions for our health care system. Count on more innovative initiatives to be put forward in the future by our Liberal governments to save as many taxpayer dollars as possible. The federal Liberal government has, year after year, increased the transfers to the provinces for health care to help cope with an aging population and increased costs. It’s true that some incompetent governments, such as those in Alberta and formerly in Ontario, wasted health dollars on irrational tax cuts for the rich, but still, our medicare remains the best in the world. We Liberals will work hard to defend the precious health care system of which we are proud.

Parental demands of immigrants Arda Ocal OUR HOUSE The other day I watched the movie Mambo Italiano. For those who have never heard of it, it’s about Angelo, an Italian son trying to tell his immigrant (and old school) Italian parents that he is gay and all of the difficulty he has doing it (the movie comes from the makers of My Big Fat Greek Wedding). Not only was it hard to tell them at first, but once he finally came out, he had to suffer the extreme grief of his parents trying to deny, then slowly accept their son. What really caught my attention about this movie wasn’t Angelo trying to tell his parents that he was gay — it actually came before that. Angelo first broke news to his parents that he wanted to try a career in television writing (perhaps to emphasize the magnitude of such announcements to the audience). His parents were visibly angered and devastated (mourning, in fact) that their son didn’t want to pursue a career as a doctor or a lawyer. To some reading this, they have a slight grin on their face because they can completely relate to young Angelo and his career conundrum. When I

first saw the scene, I couldn’t stop thinking “are you insane?� because I could only imagine what my parents would have said back in the day if I told them I wanted to pursue a “silly dream.� Ah, immigrant parents. They are quite the scripture to read, let me tell you. Their love is never ending, but so is their chastising — if you don’t live your life by the book, you’re in for it. Back in grade school, if you didn’t have good behaviour in class, you’d get the belt, or the coat hanger from dad and the famous (insert foreign accent here) “I’m going to raise you right! I came to this country to raise family right!� Worst of all, mom would give you “the look� — that blank stare of disapproval that only moms can do that sends you sinking in your chair, and also means that you’re not getting ice cream for dessert. But then as you got older something happened. The coat hangers were left in the closet and whenever you did something bad your parents would give you the worst punishment of all — guilt. And man, your parents would pour it on so much you’d think you were being sent back to the homeland to “straighten up.� To immigrant parents, “doing something bad� doesn’t necessarily mean putting cherry bombs in the school toilets. It’s more for when you get bad marks in school, or in general, when you do things in their eyes that won’t contribute to your doctorate (like many

extracurricular activities). So you can imagine the guilt a child would face if he/ she decides to pursue a “risky� profession (“You don’t want to be laywer? Okay, become professor!�) But I mean really pursue it. Immigrant parents would first see it as a “fad,� something those “other� kids do that their son/daughter wants to try. But once it passes the “fad� boundaries, watch out. Of course, we sons and daughters totally understand that they are doing this because they love us — but we find it overbearing anyway. To me, the best way Angelo would have gotten away with pursuing his dreams and gaining acceptance from his parents would have been to pursue both his dreams and his “backup plan� at the same time. Once he reached a situation where he would actually stand to make money in the profession and he was truly happy, then he should have told momma and poppa. The immigrant book requirements would have been fulfilled and the guilt trips and family-wide sorrow that scares so many of us into complacence would have been avoided. If there’s something that has been itching at you for a long time and you want to try it, go for it. If my immigrant parents can be accepting in the end, then yours can too (unless they read this — then I know I’m not getting ice cream for dessert). aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Letters Privatize health care To the editor, Leave it up to the NDP to trot out the same tired bromides about the ‘necessity’ of the Canadian socialist health care leviathan. Of course, in one sense it’s hard to disagree that it’s necessary: we’re forced to rely on the public system because the Canadian government makes it illegal for anyone else to offer medical services. That’s the exquisite thing about government monopolies: when private citizens are prohibited from making a go at things, government becomes necessary by default. Ms. Cull writes, “We believe that providing equal and free health care to all Canadians is crucial…” I can’t believe people need this explained to them: “publicly funded” does not entail “free”. (Health care actually runs into the $80-billion range, per annum). True, when you go to the hospital you don’t pay out-of-pocket for services rendered; instead, the government takes your money, under force of law, then spends it for you. That’s not in any way “free”. Besides, publicly funded services are almost always vastly more expensive than they need to be. And let’s not forget the best part: no matter how poorly delivered the service is, we go to jail if we refuse to pay for it. Then there’s the vaunted Romanow Report. I just love the government’s thinking here: hire an unelected bureaucrat, and give him $15million to tell the government how to spend even more taxpayer’s money. Romanow’s conclusion? The government ought to be doing a better job. Hmm…and how to do that? More money and yet another layer of bureaucracy (Health Council of Canada) to trample on the provinces. Marvellous! Ms. Cull laments the destruction of public health care “in the name of corporate interests.” The sooner, the better. - Michael Raab 4A English Literature Imprint’s story choices To the editor, I am an avid reader of Imprint and I just have an opinion on what you have been writing about lately. In early February, I noticed an ad that read, “do you have a story to tell? Send it in and it could be a feature.” I wrote in to Imprint with a feature story that I thought would interest UW students. It involved myself, four other UW students, a Coors Light couch, the Maxim finals in Toronto, a Kim Smith autograph and a story that was covered on 102.1 the Edge, a radio station out of Toronto. Now, considering that information right there, you know that it is going to be a good story. In the March 5 edition of Imprint, I turn to the

11 l letters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

features column to read the title, “Mysterious rocks discovered on road.” I couldn’t believe it. Holy shit!! They found mysterious rocks on a road, what an amazing story! Like come on here, who the hell wants to read about a bunch of old rocks. Not this university student. Lately, I have been flipping through the paper and finding two things that I like to read. The campus question and the sports section. There is nothing else that interests me at all in the paper. This paper is made by university students, for university students. I think its about time that you start writing about things that actual university students want to read about. I am reminded of the great movie of Van Wilder, when Tara Reid’s editor shows her the framed story of ” Lite Beer vs. dark: the Showdown” because she had written great articles, but ones that the student body does not want to read. He urged her to write about things that the actual students want to read about. Students read Imprint to be updated on things that are happening around the university and also to be entertained. Please, start writing some more interesting stories, and if you can’t find any, I think you’d be surprised that just listening to the students will give you tons of great ideas. - Shane Riley 2A English Fundamentalism To the editor, While sitting in the SLC on Thursday March 4, my friends and I were approached by a young man who asked if we would be willing to participate in a “study.” When we questioned his intention, he indicated to us that the intent of the “study” was to gauge spirituality on campus. After three questions, (which, it’s important to note, made no mention of Christian doctrine) the fellow launched into an unprovoked spiel about the fact that we had not accepted Jesus into our hearts, and how important it is for us to rectify the situation, etc. This letter is not intended to malign those of the Christian faith, but rather to express our displeasure and disgust at the fact that this fellow felt it necessary to trick us into listening to him. The story, however, does not end here. After the person departed, his comrade, a girl, swooped in to pick up where he’d left off. Personally, we are fed up with the underhanded pressure tactics that seek to press a belief upon unsuspecting and unwilling subjects. This is not the first time we’ve been made to feel pressured and uncomfortable in our own SLC and we are sure it won’t be the last. When will there be action taken to stop this kind of solicitation? - Mike Duffy, Marc Gerroir, Emily Ahlgren, Celia Grant, Chris Karaiskas, Diane Berruti, Sarah Sharp, Travis Hatt

New campus group To the editor, Starting a dialogue group on a contentious issue on our campus is tough. The SLC administration shuts down your booth early, Imprint misrepresents what you’re doing, people come, yell, scream and call you names, all in all it’s very stressful. But for the Israel/Palestine conflict, an issue that has become so heated and so tense, I still feel the effort is worth it. In last week’s paper, Phil Weiner, assistant opinion editor for Imprint, wrote a story about Israel week. He talked about how “the purpose of Israel Week was to educate people about Israeli culture” and discussed how the “Organizers hope that the main message, “Palestinians want peace, Israelis want peace,” was not lost.” Weiner also claimed that a booth that I was a part of “asked biased questions” giving one example of one question displayed at the booth. What Weiner failed to mention was that there were many questions and articles at the booth, not aimed specifically at either side of the debate but at both and meant to raise questions and start dialogue. He also failed to mention the main purpose of our group, which we made very clear to him when he came over to talk to us. We explained that the purpose of our group, which is comprised of Jews, Arabs, Muslims Israelis and other concerned students, was to.…….ready for the shocker……..start a peaceful, constructive and moderate dialogue, and move away from the

usual one sided, tribal nature of most events that have been held relating to the Israel/Palestine conflict in the past. The response to our display was good. We had a lot of students happy to see what we were doing, and I hope that they won’t be deterred by the inaccurate coverage. As for Israel week itself, our group took a position neither opposed or in favour of the content. All that we proposed is that a different approach is possible. We were set up during Palestine week as well saying the same thing and I hope that our message that in a multicultural country such as Canada, ethnic and religious lines shouldn’t split us apart and decide our allegiance is not lost as well. — David Mandelzys Mathematics Well done, Israel week To the editor, I’m writing because as a second-year student I have seen a lot of boring politics on campus, but finally, I’ve seen something new. Imagine, a group that takes a side on the Israel-Palestine debate not laying blame to the other side! This is exactly what was going on at Israel week in the SLC. There were lots of pictures of the effects of terrorism, but never did they blame the Palestinians for that terrorism. Quite the opposite in fact. see LETTERS, page 12

12

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Pornography and graffiti redefined Michelle Titus TOUCHED Each time I take a train eastbound from Toronto I look out the window to admire the scene. My interest is particularly piqued as we travel just outside the city. Here are buildings dressed in lavish colours and intricate designs. However, many do not share my appreciation for these artistically adorned structures. Instead, they generalize and classify it as vandalism. Graffiti receives so much negative attention regardless of its content or skill. It is seen as a mechanism to display defiant and violent behaviours. Of course within this genre there are examples that conform to these beliefs and are associated with such acts as gang-related incidents or hate crimes but, like many things there are exceptions. In fact, graffiti is gaining acceptance in the art world and some artists are even investigating the conservation of such creations. Pornography is treated similarly. Rather than separating porn into various branches it is clumped together and judged as a whole. This results in a strong negative generalization associated with all areas of pornography. Without dispute, like graffiti, pornography can have harmful affects. Unfortunately, these attributes are capitalized upon to show an extreme detrimental influence that porn has on society. As with the advent of graffiti art appreciation, pornography is slowly following. Grow-

ing numbers are able to differentiate between the various fractions of this entity (experimental, violent, degrading, insightful, humorous, passionate etc.) thus removing sweeping generalizations and focusing on more specific attributes. Then it is clearer that not all “pornography is about violence, degradation and abuse in a sexual context” as quoted by Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault. If we more readily classified pornography into groups it would become plausible to control its negative factors. Pornography has the potential to liberate and educate when individuals stop taking what is now obvious and start to get curious. During this time it may be hard to pinpoint exactly what pornography is, but with investigation we can hope to reach some sort of consensus. There are classes at UW that include discussions on porn, and the classifications of pornography are enormous. Some students (like many others) consider pornography to be anything involving nudity or sexuality while others require explicit sexual acts. This creates problems when certain projects, such as a recently approved proposal of the “H-Bomb” are misinterpreted. The “HBomb” is discribed as “a literary arts magazine about sex and sexual issues at Harvard” by its founders, but dubbed as “erotica” or “porn” by The Harvard Crimson due to its proposed inclusion of naked undergraduate students. In this case, as in many pornography-related instances, conclusions are made before even delving into the content. As acceptance and appreciation emerges for activities such as graffiti and pornography it is important to remember that there is a time and place for art. Imagine seeing the CN Tower or Coliseum modernized with spray paint: it would be horrendous! Or a porn being the in-flight

movie — and instead of peanuts, let’s hand out condoms! There’s even been talk about reviewing porn movies in Imprint (the jury’s still out on that one). It is easy to assume that all graffiti is garbage and it is just as easy to consider pornography the same.

Rather than hiding from something feared and creating divisions, let’s confront it and explore the options. You never know — you might learn something about yourself along the way. mtitus@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

MACIEJ LASKA

Letters Continued from page 11

letters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Young drivers not the danger

When walking into the room holding the terrorism display (separated from the cultural display on purpose, according to one of the organizers, “because we don’t want to push the violent aspects of the issue on people who just wanted to come hang out in the SLC, they’ll come check it out if they are interested”) there was a large warning sign explicitly stating that there may be some offensive materials ahead, but these were not intended to blame the other side, simply to raise awareness that there is a great deal of suffering on the Israeli side as well. Also in stark contrast to Palestine week last semester, there was a big focus on the good in Israel. There were displays on Israeli contributions to technology, freedoms within Israel and a board filled with crazy facts about Israel that I would have never in my life known (Gene Simmons from KISS is an Israeli!!). What I’d like to know is why wasn’t Palestine week about the good in Palestine? All I remember seeing was the bad in Israel, and I think I can speak for most of us on campus when I say that we’re pretty sick of listening to these factions blame each other for all the killings. I’d really like to see a lot more of showing us that there is more to your culture than this ugly dispute, which I think is more important than trying to convince us that the other side is wrong. Anyways, kudos to the JSA and the Waterloo-Israel Political Affairs Club for finally bringing a positive note to this issue that has, until now, been presented as hatefully as possible.

To the editor,

- Christian Jamison 2B Arts

— Mark Johnson 2B Political Science

Being a person who drives back and forth from Elmira every day for school, I am becoming increasingly concerned about the safety of our roads. I’m not speaking about drunk drivers, or the even more dangerous cell phone drivers. I’m talking about elderly folks. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve narrowly avoided an accident because old drivers pull out of parking spaces without looking. They may drive slower, and supposedly more safely, but inconsiderate slow drivers are a huge cause of road rage and probably cause more accidents in the long run. I saw on television a while ago a report of an elderly driver in Missouri who drove almost 100 kilometres going the wrong way on the interstate! And then an 86-year-old in L.A. managed to crash into a market, killing 10 people. It seems to me that even if I was drunk, and on a cell phone, I’d still be competent enough to know which way you drive on a road! For the same reason that people under 16 are deemed unfit to drive, maybe the government should revoke licences when people hit age 75. At the very least, expose them to the same gruelling tests young drivers have to pass to get their licences. Certain elderly drivers are by far the most dangerous we’ve got on our roads, and are just accidents waiting to happen. Folks complain all the time about how reckless young drivers like us are, but I think we all know the true source of danger on our roads.

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

The daily spooge Schools like UWO should keep their trash in their own backyards

Mark Stratford BIG EARS BURNING I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m thrilled to be a UW student. The thing I probably love most about attending UW is how insular a school it is. We pretty much keep to ourselves and when we do socialize with other post-secondaries, we play the good cops. We never stir up trouble. I feel this has a lot to do with UW’s consistently outstanding reputation. I try to do as much as I can to keep the peace. I don’t get a swelled head each fall when that golden issue of Maclean’s hits the shelves. I have spent the past three years resisting those “friends don’t let friends go to [fill in the name of a non-UW school here]” shirts at UW Store, even though everyone else I know has one! And, of course, I don’t talk any smack about other Canadian schools here in the Imprint pages. Sure, we’ve run news stories about Laurier before, but (a) they’re down the street and therefore in the community and (b) we don’t run anything unsubstantiated or derogatory. (Let the record show that an early instalment of “Big Ears” which bashed Laurier was written at the request of several disgruntled masses of Laurier students yearning to be free.) I just feel that where news content and personal interest are concerned, we are better served keeping our eyes on our own turf. So imagine my faintness of heart this past week as I was surfing for snippets for our “Here, There, Everywhere” news supplement. In the news section of The Gazette, the daily student newspaper at University of Western Ontario, was the following headline: “Pathetic turnout for Waterloo’s CASA vote.” I had questions. Such as, “what the hell? Why are they mentioning us? Why does something that would constitute three lines in our paper merit a whole story in theirs?” At first I assumed that there had been an excruciating drought of stories at The Gazette office that day,

prompting the article’s author, Laura Katsirdakis, to patch together a story from online UW sources about our CASA referendum from last week — which, admittedly, was pathetic. (Quick recap: UW is still a member of the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations because absolutely nobody bothered to come to the polls to vote one way or the other.) But according to Brandon Sweet, Feds chief returning officer, he and Feds VP admin and finance Liam McHugh-Russell were actually contacted by Katsirdakis for this story. This very non-Western related story! I just don’t understand it. Why would other schools care to make us the focus of their news? Sorry, but that is not responsible journalism. I couldn’t imagine any students at Western reading an entire story about UW’s voter apathy — especially when they, like every other school, have their own apathy to worry about. I’m a big fan of daily student newspapers and Web sites when they can get by on pertinent news about their own school, such as UW’s Daily Bulletin and uwstudent.org. If you need to crash campuses for news items, perhaps a weekly publication is better for you. I’m also not fond of other schools talking shit about us, especially if they’re going to try to justify it as relevant news. CASA’s regional director Dave Ford, who is affiliated with UWO and is the connecting rod between the two schools in the CASA debate, was quoted in a separate Gazette article bashing McHugh-Russell, saying that, “he doesn’t put trust in a legitimate process because he is convinced there is no need to do that and that he knows best.” If that’s his opinion, fair enough, but is it his place to express these thoughts in a foreign university’s paper? Further in the article, an “unnamed source” claims that “McHugh-Russell’s romantic relationship with a newly-elected representative of the Canadian Federation of Students […] was influencing his decision to support a departure from CASA.” I’m not going to trust an unidentified source in another university’s paper to tell me about my student representative! If you can’t tell a story right, please don’t tell it at all.

Sex: different preferences Continued from page 13

While the “top or bottom” question can potentially make someone feel like a piece of meat, I believe there are instances in which the question can definitely be considered appropriate. Let’s assume that two men have been dating for a few weeks. Feeling comfortable with each other they mutually decide to have sex. Surprise! They are both bottoms! Now what? Should one of them agree to try a different position? Do they attempt to take turns? Certainly this sort of awkward incident could have been avoided if the two men had communicated their sexual preferences earlier.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that gay relationships are all about sex. Nor am I saying that it is appropriate to ask a gay man if they are a top or bottom whenever one feels inspired to do so. What I am saying is that for many gay men sex is an important part of a relationship. Since every gay man has a different preference for sexual positions, I believe that it is important to communicate one’s preference at an early point in a relationship. Undoubtedly, whether the topic relates to sex or not, communication of any kind can never be a bad thing. Bottoms up! acowan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

It truly bothers me that students at universities like Western may be misled about UW and several other universities this way. I would never drag other schools through the mud in my news section. At UW, we keep our noses in our own backyards — a rule that goes far beyond university life. Boy, am I proud to work at a paper like Imprint. Did you know that last week, U of T’s student paper The Varsity had a picture in it of Hilary Duff during her “Live at Muchmusic” performance? Proud, proud, proud. mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

13

Layton: NDP leader talks about grand ideals Continued from page 9

One of the fundamental disconnects between Conservatives and Socialists/NDP party members is that Conservatives believe that wealth is created in society while the NDP believes that there is a fixed amount of wealth that must be redistributed in order to achieve its social objectives. No Conservative wants there to be poor people or to see anyone denied opportunities based on their economic standing, but we do question how attempts to achieve equality now

harms the overall well-being of people in the future. In all the attempts to achieve social equality in the past, the poor have barely been elevated while the rest of society has been grossly impoverished. If Layton wants to become the Prime Minister of Canada, he should recognize this history and promote a platform that offers a way for poor people to improve their lot and not simply create more of the state’s teats for the less fortunate to suckle. mkerrigan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

UNDER THREAT

Julian Apong

IN SEARCH OF

Gabe Kempe

FEATURES 14

Imprint features

FRIDAY,MARCH 19, 2004

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Martha’s massive money mistake Kimberly Mackhan IMPRINT STAFF

The verdict is in — Martha Stewart lied to the government — guilty as charged. Stewart, 62, performed a “real” crime. She is a conspirator, obstructed justice and committed two counts of false statements. She deserves to be placed behind bars just as a murderer or child molester should be. Had she lied about giving oral sex, she would have been subpoenaed. If she had lied about non-existent weapons of mass destruction, which eventually resulted in the death of over 600 soldiers, she would have been able to re-campaign for president. But no, lying to the people is different, it is more like a mere enhancement of the truth. Lying to the government, that’s a “real” crime. Can Martha Stewart truly prevail? When Stewart dumped her old ImClone Systems stock in December 2001, its value “coincidentally” began to tumble. Attorney James Comey, who was recently appointed Deputy Attorney General of the United States, spearheaded the legal action against Stewart for insider stock trading. The prosecution alleged that Stewart sold her ImClone stock only after Stewart’s broker, Peter Bacanovic, told his assistant, Douglas Faneuil, to tip her off that ImClone founder, Sam Waksal, was attempting to sell his stocks. (Waksal later pled guilty to insider trading and was sentenced to 7 years in prison and fined $4.3 million.) But was Stewart responsible for ImClone’s stock price going down? Wasn’t it the government who didn’t approve the biotech company’s application for Erbitux, an experimental cancer drug, thereby causing the stock to tank? Wasn’t it the government who hurt ImClone’s shareholders? Not necessarily. Stewart got rid of her stocks and took her profits with her. She received the full value of her stock as opposed to the reduced value everyone else got the next day. Her illfated shares were sold to someone

else, someone like you and me, who didn’t know what she supposedly knew. Fortunately, the little guy who held on to his ImClone stock would be happier than Stewart. The FDA drug rejection that caused the stock to dive has since been reversed. The law is supposed to stop corrupt and failing CEOs from abusing privileged, confidential company information. It causes our free-market structure to fall apart and ultimately affects us all. It is for this reason that practising insider stock trading is a crime. Insider trading, however, is very difficult to substantiate and rarely is proven. How can you demonstrate that someone who knew something did indeed know it before they were supposed to know it? Stewart hence confidently denied that she was tipped off to sell her more than 3,900 shares of ImClone stock which were worth roughly $250,000. She could have fearlessly claimed that she simply checked the details of which directors had been trading shares and what quantity they had traded. They are, after all, published online on Yahoo!. Now, if you had known that a stock which you invested in was experiencing a major change (such as the licensing of a potential cancer drug) and you saw that the CEO of the company was dumping his stock, would you not have sold your shares as well? Would that qualify as insider trading? Should you be charged for reading Yahoo!? How is it different from Stewart’s broker telling her to dump ImClone stock based on the selling pattern of other clients? Even now, there are claims that huge financial advisors such as Morgan Stanley or ING Direct come into the Toronto Stock Exchange trading pit and buy numerous calls on unknown equities. These calls are purchased at outrageous prices and moments later, not surprisingly, the unknown equity announces a potential acquisition. How did these financial advisors know

GRAPHIC BY JULIAN APONG

when to purchase such unknown equities? Martha Stewart is a scapegoat for the failure of the authorities to prevent insider trading. She got shafted. It seems that they were determined to get her from the day they learned of her connection to ImClone. Stewart was, however, found innocent of committing insider trading. The charge of securities fraud laid against her was dropped. There is still no evidence that she knew anything about the FDA’s rejec-

tion of ImClone’s Erbitux. Hence she was charged with a variety of other crimes. These were crimes which she committed as a result of trying to prove herself innocent, innocent of a charge for which she could not be found guilty. She was convicted simply for tampering with evidence such as erasing phone logs and so on. That’s how her hands were caught in the cookie jar. Stewart’s first blunder was pleading innocent upon being indicted. If she had confessed she would have

received a less harsh penalty. As a former broker, she should have known better. Instead of co-operating with the prosecutors, she tried to cover up her crime. The most disturbing feature was that, at the time, she was sitting on the board of the New York Stock Exchange. Everyone knows the stock market is really only based on trust and investor confidence. Such a scandal could have ruined the financial sector. See MARTHA, page 15

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Imprint features

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Labatt gives students more than beer Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF

Since the end of grade school I have not associated the word summer with a few months off. Like most students, I used my summer to crank up the hours at my job so that I could afford more . . . stuff. With the summer quickly approaching, I’m sure many will be looking for a change of pace in their field of employment. Somewhere that’s happy to hire you for just the summer, give you a decent amount of hours, good pay, and, of course, a good experience. Education is, as we all know, very valuable in life. Experience, however, is even more valuable. This is why Labatt breweries, a Canadian maker of beer and beer related accessories, sponsors a program that gives students the opportunity to obtain paying jobs at charitable institutions across Canada. The Labatt People in Action (LPIA) works with charities to create student jobs that provide valuable work experience. The jobs are not simply a list of responsibilities, like dusting the shelves, or cleaning up the poop in aisle three. Instead, the LPIA provides jobs that allow the student to exercise and develop important professional skills. The LPIA provides the charities with funding to hire the student, and essentially pays his salary as an employee of the charity. The program allows students to easily acquire a job that is friendly to their needs, gives back to the community, and

allows them to acquire valuable work related skills. A student accepted into the program gets to spearhead a project that is geared towards the charity’s general goal. Working together with the charity, the student will be an active leader in the project. As a bit more of an incentive towards students, the program also offers awards to four students (one from each area of the country) who excel in their summer jobs and show dedication. The prize package consists of a $1500 scholarship and an all expense paid trip to a social innovators summit, where they will be given the opportunity to dialogue with industry leaders in corporate, charitable, and government sectors. The boss or supervisor of the charitable institution nominates their student employee for the award. Instead of the usual droll summer job, the LPIA’s alternative is an excellent opportunity to enhance hands-on, real world business knowledge. Just like every other summer job, the applicants for this one are carefully considered in terms of their ability to acquire new skills and their previous work experience. The application deadline for this summer is quickly approaching on March 29, 2004. Visit www.lpiajobs.com to apply. talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

15

Martha: won’t be trading anymore Continued from page 14

Alas, even the financial community assumed Stewart would have been found not guilty. They showed confidence in her acquittal by frantically purchasing Martha Stewart Omnimedia (MSO) shares. During the jury’s deliberations, the stock value of MSO rose by 12 per cent. It hit a two year high. Now wouldn’t it have been funny if one of the jurors owned this stock and then sold it immediately before the verdict was announced? Trading of MSO was halted when the jury’s guilty verdict was announced. It prevented the stock price of MSO from falling like a turd from a tall cow. There was a strong chance that MSO would have bottomed. When trading resumed the next day, MSO plunged by a whopping 23 per cent. Why did Stewart sweat $250,000 of ImClone stock when she could have made back that amount with one day’s worth of interest on her wealth? The money saved from dumping her ImClone stock would have been a drop in the bucket when compared to her net worth of more or less $420 million. Illegally trying to save $40,000 resulted in Stewart losing close to $100 million. She risks spending a maximum of 20 years in a federal prison because of her dishonesty. She will likely be banned from holding any executive position within a public company. Stewart, who is on probation until sentencing on June 7 plans to appeal her guilty verdict. According to a 2001 Special Report by the Bureau of Criminal Justice Statistics on Federal Criminal Appeals, defendants convicted at trial lost their appeals 73.7 per cent of the time. She has a slim chance of success, yet the financial world is slowly replacing their faith in her appeal. Many investors are shorting their MSO shares. If Stewart does

indeed win her appeal, such investors will make a fortune. Some investors have even gone as far as to short K-Mart shares, the chief distributor of Martha Stewart Inc products. Either way, the damage has been done. Viacom has already pulled her TV show from its stations. Future Martha Stewart product sales, especially in the short run, are likely to suffer substantially as a result of her conviction. Fewer sales will also result in fewer MSO earnings per share which will cause its stock price to lower. Martha Stewart may have been an unpleasant woman but this isn’t the 17th century and we don’t have witch hunts against the unpopular women from the village. Perhaps she was convicted because of her image. Perhaps she was convicted because she gave money to the Democrats. Perhaps she was convicted to set an example to the financial committee. There are, however, far worse corporate bastards on the loose. What about Kenneth Lay? The Tyco boys? MCI *cough* Worldcom? They have gone unpunished for far worse crimes which we know they have willfully committed. These crimes happened before Stewart dumped her stock. Why haven’t they had their day in court? Is Deputy Attorney General Comey practicing selective legislature in favour of his Republican friends? Should one be a member of the current reigning political party before committing stock market fraud? Stewart should not have lied about her transactions but she does not deserve to spend 20 years in jail. “I believe in the fairness of the judicial system,” she said in a written statement posted on her Web site, “and [I] remain confident that I will ultimately prevail.” kmackhan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Imprint features

16

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Sony pushes forward hard Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF

Final Fantasy XI/40GB HDD Combo Publisher: SCEA Platforms: PS2 ESRB: Teen Online required — Subscription fees attached One of the major arguments of the Xbox’s superiority has been its hard drive. The eight-gigabyte hard drive in the Xbox allows users to save a massive amount of game data, create custom soundtracks for their games and download custom levels. It also allows other, slightly more advanced users to install Linux.

On March 23, the Playstation 2 will reap the benefits of all these features and more. Instead of the meagre eight gig drive, the PS2 will receive a 40GB drive with many more capabilities. For example, Sony claims that their hard drive will come with media player software, enabling users to play mp3s and copy CDs to the hard drive. The drive will also allow users to save their games, much like the Xbox, and enable games to have faster loading times by pre-caching information. It will also allow for the downloading of additional content for levels. Hopefully, we’ll see a good deal of creative engineering with the hard drive and network adapter combination. All has been good up until now.

Presumably in an effort to drive up monthly income from Final Fantasy XI, Sony decided to release it in a package with the hard drive for a low total price of $129.99. The game itself looks fantastic in most aspects. It’s an exciting addendum to the Final Fantasy series, of which I am a die-hard fan. Crystal Chronicles was disappointing, but I still loved it. However, at this point, I am already disheartened about the release of XI. To begin with, it’s a massively multiplayer online game, meaning that the game takes place strictly online, involving other players from across the globe. Although it’s an innovation that PC and PS2 gamers can play in the

same world, it is a little silly since two friends will not necessarily be able to play together (short of spending lots of in-game money to purchase an item to let them in to your “world�). Personally, I won’t mind paying the monthly fee (about $15) for XI provided it is as good as the screenshots look. The real problem I have is in its limited lifetime. One of the biggest draws to the Final Fantasy series is that they are like interactive novels. You play the role of the main character through an elaborate story. At any time you can pick one up, play for a few hours and put it away. Once finished, the game can collect dust for a few years until you forget the details and play it again.

However, with XI, if I want to play it again in a few years, I will most likely be out of luck. As we saw with Phantasy Star Online for the Dreamcast, the company running the servers can put them offline. Personally, when I shell out money for a game, I want it to be mine. I want to be able to play it whenever I want, whether it is now or in 30 years. However, being a devout Final Fantasy fan and Sony lover, I will still shell out the hundred and $ 130 for the package. I hope that in the few years that I’m able to play XI, it will give me as much enjoyment as Final Fantasy VII did.

cancer that morning. The cancer had been ignored too long and the boy would go back to the village to be with his family. I believe that the man knew that there was nothing that we could do for the little boy, but perhaps believed that we would bring hope to the situation. I will not give myself the satisfaction of thinking that we brought joy to the sick child just by showing our white faces, but I will go as far as to say that, however uneducated in the subject we may have been, our inability to help probably added clout to the doctor’s diagnosis. The problem is, in a country whose people are inundated with Western technology but lack the expertise to use it, foreigners do know more. In Canada, our generation has grown up with tech-

nology and a general understanding has just accumulated because of exposure. But to those seeing it for the first time, it all must seem very mystical. An Australian traveller I met told me about a time when he had been destitute and stuck in Senegal after having everything stolen: baggage, money, papers — everything. The Senegalese man he had stayed with could not comprehend how it was that this white man had no money. “Why,� he asked, “don’t you just use the code?� He had seen men, primarily white men, walk up to the bank machine and walk away with cash — magic. So why, white man, don’t you just use the code?

talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Who knows the white man’s code? Cari Mason

12° NORTH For the first time in my life people look at my blond hair and from that conclude that intelligence lies beneath. It is a strange phenomenon here, being white. Obviously foreign, in a country that has learnt to rely on foreign aid for assistance, it is often assumed that white people will magically know the answer. The demands are simple most of the time: requests to fix cell phones or computers, questions about rocks and geology, assistance

with simple business decisions. Though I have no difficulty answering these questions, it concerns me that by doing so I am not really helping, but simply perpetuating the myth that “foreigners know more.â€? The hardest times, however, have been when even I didn’t have the answer. Arriving in Kayes, a small city near the border of Senegal, my friend and I booked into a small hostel on the outskirts of town. Surprisingly, it turned out that its name, “Rural Radio,â€? really did describe its function. Not only did this operation provide a hostel and restaurant, but it also served as Kayes’ radio station, fully equipped with an Internet cafĂŠ and proper recording facilities. The station-manager, a soft spoken and intelligent man, took a liking to us and invited us to his

house for lunch. On the way over, he explained that a sick boy from his village had arrived that day and he was now at his house. The manager had taken him to see the doctor in Kayes earlier that morning, but perhaps, he suggested, we could take a look at him as well. I was shocked when the small boy appeared, standing up in the corner where he had been lying on a prayer mat. On his neck was a growth, one as large as my hand and two inches deep. After hearing the horror stories of the parasites of Africa, I immediately assumed that he had worms. Stunned with horror, I was unable to do more than utter my condolences. My ignorance become fully apparent, when I was later told that the boy had been diagnosed with pancreatic

cmason@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Good snacks for good times

Sarah Allmendinger IMPRINT STAFF

Alright, enough of the sweet stuff. This time get your taste buds ready for some salty action. This recipe is perfect for snacking during parties or movies or any get-together you may have. Enjoy! Garlic Roasted Potato Skins

3+,//,3 675((7 /2&$7,21 21/< /,0,7(' 7,0( 2))(5

6 to 8 medium size baking potatoes 1 small head garlic 6 tbsp unsalted butter, softened 1 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper Preheat oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit. Prick each potato twice with a fork. Cut off and discard top fourth of garlic head; then wrap garlic tightly in foil. Bake garlic and potatoes on same rack in lower third of oven until potatoes are tender, 50 to 60 minutes. Remove potatoes from oven and let cool for 15 minutes. Continue to bake garlic until tender, about 15 minutes more, then cool in foil on rack. While garlic cools, halve potatoes lengthwise, then quarter each half (to form short wedges). Scoop out potato

flesh, leaving 1/4-inch thick potato skins. Heat oven to 425 degrees fahrenheit. Squeeze garlic into a small bowl, discarding garlic skins and mash to a paste with butter, salt and pepper using a fork. Divide garlic paste among potato skins, spreading evenly, then roast skins in a large shallow baking pan (one inch deep) until golden, 20 to 25 minutes. Onion and Spinach Dip

3 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil 1 large onion, chopped (1 3/4 cups) 1/2 lb shallots, chopped 1/2 lb baby spinach, coarsely chopped 3 ounces cream cheese, softened 1 (16-ounce) container sour cream 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper Heat oil in a 12-inch heavy skillet over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking, then sautĂŠ onion and shallots, stirring, until lightly browned, about two minutes. Reduce heat to moderate and continue to cook for eight minutes, stirring occasionally, until softened. Add spinach and cook, stirring, just until wilted, about two minutes. Remove from heat and cool slightly. Put spinach mixture in a bowl, then stir in cream cheese, sour cream, salt and pepper until mixed well. Cover and chill for one hour. sallmen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

ARTS

Imprint arts

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004 FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

17

Ready, set, Charge! SLC punks —page 19

arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Fourth-year fine arts gallery promises ocular pleasure Garick Stevenson IMPRINT STAFF

Some might think that in a campus teeming with hideous cement buildings and bland browns and grays that art does not exist. This however is not the case. In an equally unnoticeable building to the east of main campus the creative heart of this school resides. East Campus Hall is the home of UW’s fine arts program, encouraging students in all forms of art and creative visual expression. On March 25, the fourth year fine arts gallery opens to the public in ECH. This exhibition is a display of the culmination of learning that has taken place over four years for graduating students. The show will consist of many differing diciplines of art including paint, sculpture, drawing and mixed media works. Painting seems to be a popular medium in this gallery, but don’t be fooled; this is not all painting in a traditional sense. Painting styles include wallpaper patterns, penises with erotic dialogue overtop, relief topographical painting, faux fresco and layered multi paint/ splatter/puff-paint designs; this show runs the gamut. I was unaware of the style labelled “mixed media” and was surprised to discover one student creating clothing out of acrylic paint. It was then explained to me that she creates the clothing by layering and drying the acrylic paint into designs which she then stitches together into finished pieces. Some of her creations include halter tops and robes. Sculpture is also represented in this gallery, although not always in a traditional ideal. One sculptor creates designs using materials that he finds at Ikea (as seen on the cover). The oddest creations seem to be the cement teddy bears that were created by pulling the stuffing out of regular teddy bears, peeling off the fur and filling them with cement. There is something about seeing a family of cement teddy bears that really messes with me. The grand opening takes place on March 25. All are invited for free food and a cash bar, so come out and support UW’s artists. gstevenson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

DAN DRUMMOND

These are just some of the amazing works of art on display at the fourth year art gallery this spring in East Campus Hall. Along with painting such as these, the exhibit also showcases other mediums of the fine arts faculty, including sculpture and mixed media. The show runs from Thursday, March 25 to Saturday, April 3 with a gala opening on the 25th. All are welcome.

DAVID TRAN

CAROLINE LARSEN

Imprint arts

18

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Taking risks to become a total triple threat Andrea Kerswill UNHEARD OF It started at 8:30 a.m. and ended at 4 p.m., not your average length of an audition. Most auditions last between five and 20 minutes. The reason auditions are so short is because auditioning is extremely nerve-wracking and filled with thousands of adrenaline rushes. And this may be a universal truth, but I’m going to say it anyways — auditioning sucks. No matter what art you are involved in, the idea of putting yourself on the spot for others to critique and evaluate somehow isn’t so thrilling. Yet it is a very important part of any artist’s life. In fact, it may make or break an artist depending on their ability and agility in taking risks. If there was anything I learned while auditioning for Randolph Academy for the Performing Arts (RAPA) on Saturday, it was just that. If you want to be successful in arts, you must in all ways possible be a risk-taker. Otherwise, you can go stand amongst the losers and cry about what went wrong. Boo-hoo. But, I wasn’t willing to do that. So, while waiting out in the cold in downtown Toronto at 8:30 in the morning I decided one thing: I was going to kick ass. Whether or not I actually did re-

mains to be seen, but nonetheless, I resigned myself to the fact that if I walked out of the auditioning smiling then I at least had a chance. RAPA is one of two Triple Threat schools in all of North America. Triple Threat schools by definition groom performers to have a complete set of skills. Once a performer graduates not only can they sing, but hey — they are also dance and an act. There are several musical theatre schools, and countless drama programs which focus primarily on the singing or the acting. If you are lucky, they might include a bit of dancing. What RAPA does is train its students in an intensive two-year program in all three skill areas. After the two years the performer will not only be a great actor, but will be able to dance and sing as well. At Stratford and similar festivals for example, this is a great asset to have as a performer. Not only do most festivals present plays, but they now include a heavy repertoire of musical theatre as well. And in most musical theatre there is, yes, a lot of dancing. I had decided to audition for RAPA a long time ago. After spending four (of course great) years at UW, I knew that I still had a big desire to be on stage. So the preparation for this audition seemed to be neverending. Lucky for me I have a great vocal teacher who was willing to add some extra lessons to get me ready, and a companion who recently graduated from RAPA to help me along with everything.

GRAPHIC BY STANFORD WEXFORD-SMYTHE

The first half of the day included dancing for almost two hours. And although I am a trained dancer, I still found this part to be a tad difficult, as there was George Randolph, the founder, watching all 30 of us dance. Can you say jitters? The rest of the day included a song from musical repertoire that you had to prepare, and a prepared monologue as well. The monologue was the part I kicked ass in, and

treasured the most. The artistic director, Ron Singer, taught me more in those three hours of auditioning than I have learned in a very, very long time. He was the person who made it clear to all of us that if you don’t have the guts, you will never get the glory. When the day concluded at 4 p.m. I was both relieved and in an extreme state of tiredness. The adrenaline is running through your body for almost eight hours straight and when

you are done you crash, and you crash hard. All in all it was a fantastic day. I will find out shortly whether or not I have been accepted. RAPA accepts 60 students out of an approximated 1000 who audition. And if I am not accepted, at least I can say I auditioned and risked it all. To learn more about RAPA, visit www.randolphacademy.com akerswill@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Spinning with CKMS Matt Charters IMPRINT STAFF

Before we get started, yes, the University of Waterloo has a campus and community radio station. And no, it’s not WPIRG (although that does sound like a radio call sign, doesn’t it?). UW’s campus radio station is CKMS, and has been broadcasting over the Waterloo airwaves since 1977. You can find CKMS on the FM dial at 100.3. CKMS is a non-commercial, nonprofit station that is dedicated to bringing students and the community alternative programming that services all groups who may not have access to the mainstream media. On Thursday, March 25 CKMS is hosting a volunteer social and CKMS DJ Party at the Grad House. It’s a chance for anyone in the university and community to get out and celebrate the end of the term with some of the committed volunteers from the radio station. The night promises to showcase both the diversity and quality of CKMS programming through a variety of DJs that will spin throughout the evening and into the wee hours of the morning. The first part of the night, from 79 p.m., will be for CKMS volunteers only, but after that the doors will be opened up to the general public who

are free to stick around for the rest of the evening’s entertainment. There will be hip-hop from 9-10 p.m. provided by B-Mellow and DJ Ill-Science from Thursday night’s Wax Jungle program, followed by some left field disco/electro from Matt Ellis and Chris Abbot, hosts of Comin’ a Kitsch Ya and Viva Le Underground, respectively, from 10-11:30 p.m. The night will close with a funk/hip-hop set from Mason Marchildon, host of late Tuesday night’s That Midnight Funk Show. Everyone should feel free to check out the grad house and meet some of the radio personalities you’ve heard on the radio. For those of you who don’t listen, this is a great chance to find out what you’ve been missing. Talk to the station manager, talk to the volunteers, find out when to hear the best shows or find out how you can become a volunteer yourself. The station is an amazing resource that’s available for every student on campus. Admission to the event is $2, and the Grad House is 19+. For more information about the event, or the radio station, or just to check out show times, visit www.ckmsfm.ca online. mcharters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint arts

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

19

Just say no to animated lesbians David Carey DIET COKE HEAD Lately there has been a noticeable trend in Western media towards an Oriental style of animation. Classic superheroes are being reinterpreted and redrawn using Asian-like conventions. But by our standards, the anime that this is being based on is pretty risquÊ. Japanese animators take chances and often create some really beautiful pieces of art. Along the way they tend to be socially progressive. It’s kind of counterintuitive to think of Japanese culture as being more liberal in their ideology than us. I generally perceive Japan as a somewhat restrictive civilization, full of social rules, with an emphasis on obligation and honour. For sure they’re obsessed with this all-American, neon lights and fireworks idea of Western culture. Imagine a country where Jennifer Love Hewitt is a huge singing sensation – to me this is a scary place. Yet oddly this fascination with Americana doesn’t carry over into their social constraints regarding media content. What does this mean? Well, we’re talking violence, language, adult content — Manga (Japanese comics) and anime aren’t always family friendly entertainment. Even the Sailor Moon cartoon, some-

thing we mostly accept as a kid’s show, originally involved all sorts of “mature� themes. For North American release, these elements were edited out or covered up. With some very unclever dubbing, a lesbian couple became just good friends (cousins, actually). When Sailor Moon’s fellow soldiers are all savagely killed off by enemies, the English version had them “captured by the Negaverse.� By switching to a female voice actor, a gay male villain was presented as a rather flatchested woman. And during sequences where the heroes transformed into their fighting gear, cleavage and butt cheek lines were coloured out. These are just a few examples from a show that I’ve seen firsthand. According to a popular Web site called AnimePrime — which advocates unedited anime — other well known programs like Cardcaptors and even Pokemon have been edited for violence and objectionable material. The fact is that Japan has different standards of what’s considered acceptable, and these standards tend to be a lot less confining. Violence captured on film and in print is not necessarily seen as a harmful. Cartoons aren’t just created for kids. Japanese comics make up a $3 billion industry marketed to all different kinds of people. There are stories of heroics for young boys, tales of love for adolescent girls, and some other markets that might surprise you. There is even a significant demand for shounen-ai, stories of boy/boy love designed for female readers.

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Lovers... in a dangerous time. I’m sure it will be quite awhile before the mainstream Western world catches up to, or even understands, these practices. But the issue becomes one of comparative harm. Basically, our society is making the claim that watching prowrestling and movies about crucifixions won’t do any damage to kids, yet seeing unrealistic animated violence will. And thank God someone stopped all the 12-year-olds from seeing those cartoon girlfriends. I hear a lot of kids are experimenting with lesbianism these days‌ Is this really a pressing issue? Are we to believe that Japanese children have some sort of natural immunity that leaves them unaffected by such a terrible threat? With hockey players cracking skulls, presidents attacking constitutional rights, and trains being blown up overseas, you wouldn’t think that Japanese cartoons would be a good place to start saving the world. Just say no, people. dcarey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IMPRINT STAFF

This Saturday, March 20, students of all ages will get to take in some of the best punk rock Kitchener-Waterloo has to offer. Five bands from within and around UW will descend on the Student Life Centre’s MultiPurpose room for SLC Punks #1, the first of what organizers hope will become an ongoing series of accessible punk shows held on campus. The first show in the series (whose name is a clever play on the 1999 movie about a group of punks from Salt Lake City) has attracted a who’s who of the local scene: Iron Bitchface, Small Screen, Handheld, Caulfield and the Charge are ready to deafen the eardrums of the Bomber line and get the kids dancing up a storm. For those who may not be intimately familiar with any of the bands, here’s the rundown: Iron Bitchface play some crazy grindcore that’s not to be missed live. With song titles like “Songs With Gay in the Title are Gay� or “Cookie Monster With His Nuts Stuck in a Meat Grinder,� how can you go wrong? Small Screen is a Brampton band

whose drummer attends UW. Handheld are a longtime staple of the punk rock scene in KW who have been playing their brand of straight up, fast-paced punk in various band incartions since 1998. Caulfield, a band which has sprung from the ashes of The Durty Sox and Since ’84, has been together only a few short months and a couple of shows but are already garnering praise from the all-ages crowd. The Charge have gone from getting airplay on the “alternative� rock station 102.1 The Edge to being dissed on a segment where DJs made fun of independent artists who had sent in their albums. As drummer Lee Ventura said in a recent issue of Echo, “this leads me to believe we did something right.� SLC Punks is the brainchild of Sean Colins, a.k.a. Moses Bogart, a UW student and co-host of Straight Outta The Pit, CKMS’ weekly punk show which airs Thursday from 10 a.m. – noon. A two-pronged promotion attack has been mounted, and Colins hopes to get a healthy mix of both university students and underagers from the 519punk.com scene to come out. Since the show is completely all-ages and on campus, there’s no better place for UW students to check out live music, espe-

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cially those who might get shunned from a regular night out at a club for being under the legal age. The concert is being held the same day that the radio-friendly poppunk band Not By Choice is booked to play Fed Hall. However, the SLC Punks aren’t fazed a bit. In fact, they’re even prepared to waive the $5 admission fee for anyone holding a ticket to the Not By Choice show. “We’re just going to go up there with a loudspeaker and play the Charge CD for everyone in the line and tell them to come hear some real local talent,� says Colins. “It’s going to be a lot of fun.� Doors open at 7 p.m., with the first band playing at 7:30. The show is open to anyone regardless of age or educational institution.

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Imprint arts

20

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Can-con from an American Andrew Dilts IMPRINT STAFF

Ever since I moved to Canada, way back when I was nine years old, I’ve been heartily teased about being an American. Luckily, though, many of my ‘Ah-mer-ah-can’ ways have given way to Canadian habits, tastes and styles. This mixtape is a shout from a traveler who hearkens from south of the border, dedicated to the Canucks who have enlightened my listening habits over the years. Spirit of the West — “The Crawl” This North Vancouver, B.C. “Home for a Rest” band once saw fit to chronicle the tale of a massive pub crawl, hitting every bar from one end of town to the other — “from the Troller to the Raven, and all stops in between.” As someone who spent many formative Canadian years on “the North Shore” of Vancouver, this song always helps bring me home. The Tragically Hip — “New Orleans is Sinking (live version)” It’s the Hip. What more can I say? I don’t think that I’ve ever met a Canadian who doesn’t rank the Hip on the same Canadian gold standard as hockey, beer and Tim Hortons coffee. This song, complete with its impromptu tale of an encounter with a killer whale, is a classic from these Gods of Canadian rock. Bachman Turner Overdrive — “Takin’ Care of Business” So, the green beer is already flowing at the Bomber tonight, and I’m doing my best to cut right through this mix tape assignment so I can get in there

and take care of some of my own business. Anybody who has heard their fair share of classic rock — and as a regular Bomber patron, I sure have — will be familiar with this classic tune. The Guess Who — “American Woman” I once had a good verbal joust with a couple of Americans — students of a prestigious American university that will go unnamed — over the claim that “all that Canadians want is to be more like us Americans.” Funny how Canadian attitudes are perceived south of the border, eh? Don’t worry, I didn’t let them off easy. “American Woman” also tells the flip side of the coin, giving a little more about what Canadians really want from Americans. Maestro Fresh Wes — “Backbone Slide” Although my first reaction to this song is always “wow, what a throwback to grade school,” “Backbone Slide” earned this Scarborough, Ontario “Godfather of Canadian Rap” the first gold record for a Canadian rap album, ever. Barenaked Ladies — “Grade Nine” Hey, speaking of throw-backs, who can forget this (formerly) Canadian band’s tale of the first year of high school? We know ‘em, we love ‘em and we chastise ‘em for heading south of the border — being Canadian is all about knowing what you would do if you “had a million dollars.” The Tea Party — “Inanna” Though I’ve met many Canadians who don’t really take to this trio from

dig

Stompin’ Tom Connors — “The Hockey Song” No collection of Canadian music would be complete without my having to say “No collection of Canadian music would be complete without Stompin’ Tom Connors.” Really, Stompin’ Tom is one of the first names that comes to minds when you put the words ‘great,’ ‘Canadian’ and ‘music’ in the same sentence. Why, this song even tells all about the good ole hockey game! What could be more Canadian? Joni Mitchell — “Clouds” A young friend of mine once met this Alberta native walking down the street in B.C., and the conversation that ensued left an impression that will last for the rest of my friend’s life. Joni Mitchell’s music has touched the hearts and minds of Canadians and non-Canadians alike for more than four decades. adilts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Windsor, Ontario, the Tea Party enjoyed great international attention in their time. From Australia to Europe, many fans knew their songs as well as those of the Doors and Led Zeppelin. “Inanna” is a tip of the hat to a band who can bring seventeen different instruments from around the world to a live show, and masterfully switch off on each.

Cassie Ahrens and Jeff DeSchiffert in Memetic Flesh, UW’s first experimental, “site-specific” theatre project. The play takes place in the building that formerly housed the Lang Tannery in downtown Kitchener, and is experienced as a tour of the site. Memetic Flesh runs March 24-27 with two tours per evening at 7 and 9 p.m. Tickets are $10 for students. For more information visit www.drama.uwaterloo.ca.

MacPherson maintains Maintenance EP Greg MacPherson G7 Welcoming Committee Records

Maintenance is Greg MacPherson’s third release, his second on Winnipeg’s G7 Welcoming Committee Records. For those unfamiliar to MacPherson, he delivers the same message of social awareness as label mates such as Warsawpack and Propagandhi; however, his delivery is much more subtle. MacPherson is more of a storyteller than a lyricist and listening to his songs is a truly entertaining experience. His guitar playing suits the storytelling feel — he is the kind of player you would love to have at a campfire — and his croon has been likened to Joe Strummer (Maintenance even contains a Clash cover). If you are familiar with MacPherson’s earlier stuff, then you will truly appreciate the new arrangements. This five song EP is MacPherson’s first acoustic release and it combines the energy and emotion of 2002’s Good Times Coming Back Again with the beautiful guitar from his independent release, Balanced on a Pin. The five tracks include two from Good Times: “Slow Stroke” and the title track. These solo versions really showcase the power of MacPherson’s emotive lyrics and voice that was almost washed out in the full band arrangements. Also included is the Clash cover, “Bank Robber,” which has a much

folkier feel that really suits the song’s lyrics. The unreleased “Wide Turn” has a beautiful little acoustic lead, and although the thoughts of appreciating a single night off after a long week of backbreaking labour seems foreign to most co-op students, MacPherson’s story-telling ability makes you feel like you are right there with him. A treat for fans of MacPherson’s live show, and my personal favorite, is “Company Store,” a story of Macpherson’s grandfather, a coal miner who burned down the company store in protest. I always hear people, reviewers especially, talking about the lyrical theme of an album. I have never really noticed one before, until I listened to Maintenance. The tracks on the EP seem more like stories, which may be why my little engineering brain can see the point. The stories tell of hard work, hard times and the appreciation of simple moments and breaks from the work. For me these stories really hit home, being in the middle of a co-op term, and complaining daily about not having a wheel mouse, or running out of dried fruit bars in the snack machine, these songs make me realize that I have it pretty darn good. Maintenance reminds me that there are plenty of people in the world who would consider my co-op job a dream job. I have certainly stopped complaining about the wheel mouse, for this week anyway. Melissa Bunn, Special to Imprint

SCIENCE FRIDAY,FRIDAY, MARCH MARCH 19, 2004 19, 2004

Imprint science

21

science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

CHRIS EWELS WWW.EWELS.INFO

Nanoscience is a subject defined by its dimension. These flourinated fullerenes come from the work of Roger Taylor and Adam Darwich.

The science of the 21st century Azadeh Samadi IMPRINT STAFF

Nanoscience is an emerging area which concerns itself with the study of materials that have extremely small dimensions. It is no wonder that many researchers have been inspired by nanotechnology. Don’t you think it would be much more interesting if we can make use of devices in nanometres? Building things atom-by-atom or molecule-by-molecule will transform the production of practically every human-made object. The promise of nanotechnology can only be realized if we learn to understand the special rules that control behavior at this small scale and develop the skill needed to integrate

these concepts into practical devices. The excitement of understanding the behavior of materials at the microscopic level is nothing like that on the large scale. In nanoscience objects are measured in nanometres, 1 billionth of a metre. For example, the smallest features on current computer chips, measure about 200 nanometres and a human hair is 100,000 nanometres thick. The relation between nanostructures and the size of a football is the same as between a football and the earth. And finally, an ant is 1 mm; if you divide the ant by a million you can begin to understand how small one nonometre is! Scientists are now poised to make exciting advances in nanotechnology:

the creation of materials, devices and systems through the control of matter at the atomic level. By understanding and controlling the way molecules organize into nanoscale patterns, scientists are discovering new phenomena and learning to design materials with vastly different sets of properties. According to Dr. F. Schäffler at the University of Linz in Germany, in principle there are two different methods to produce nanostructures: Top down and bottom-up methods. “The most common way to fabricate structures in the range of nanometres is the top-down approach. By using lithographic processes the small nanostructured elements are “cut” from larger pieces.

The best known example is microelecinteresting areas is the combination of tronics. Today, optical lithography nanotechnology and biology. Sciensemiconductor chips with dimensions tists work with the methods of physdown to 65nm are being produced. ics on a molecular level, e.g. on DNA Because of the limited resolution due strands or on living cells, so that single to the wavelength of the light, special functionalities can be investigated, tricks have to be used (such as phase such as the interaction between a cell shift masks). To recognize structures and a pathogenic germ. in the range of 1nm electron beam Diseases can be diagnosed more lithography is used.” easily and custom made drugs can be “The bottom-up approach utilizes developed, while showing no side methods of self-organization on moeffects. As the days go by, lecular and nanocrystalline levels. The nanotechnology is catching more eyes most impressive examples can be found and it is not an exception at UW. The in biology, e.g. the replication of DNA proposed Nanotechnology BASc. strands or the self-organization of Program has been approved by the proteins.The principle of self-organiDepartment of Chemistry, the Dezation is not resticted to biological partment of Chemical Engineering systems, but it can be used in principle and the Department of Electrical and in arbitrary atomic or molecular sysComputer Engineering, but still needs tems, e.g. for the synthesis of the approval of the Faculty of Science, nanocrystalline materials and self-orthe Faculty of Engineering and the ganized semiconductor Senate of the University of Waterloo. nanostructures.” If these approvals are established, the You may ask what the advantages tentative starting date would be Sepof nanotechnology in the real world tember 2005. may be. Nanotechnology makes it posNanotechnology is offered as an sible to fabricate option in upper year smaller, faster at other universities computer chips for and this would be the Nanotechnology more efficient comfirst time that UW will puters, mobile makes it possible offer it at the underphones or navigagraduate level. UW to fabricate tion systems. It put forth lots of efleads to new lasers, fort to justify the smaller, faster like the quantum courses offered in this dot laser, which computer chips for major. This would be enables faster coma five-year (co-op) more efficient munication and program. Students new powerful data computers... would switch bestorage systems. tween on-campus The quantum courses and a co-opcomputer is a goal erative work term physicists all over the world are workconsisting of four or eight months. ing on. In the first and second year the The mastery of materials and syscore sciences will have emphasis on tems on the nanometre scale will also the fundamentals such as physics, revolutionize traditional areas. chemistry, mathematics and bioNanostructure metallic and ceramic science. The last year is devoted to four materials are more bouyant and areas: micro and nano-instruments, stronger. Carbon nanotubes are more nano-electronics, nano-bio-system elastic and robust than steel. Polymers and nano-engineered materials. mechanically strengthened with carbon A combined bachelor and masters nanotubes are used in areas from medidegree in nanotechnology has been cine to aviation. Nanostructure surdiscussed, but no decision has been faces are efficient catalysts. They are made yet. used in chemical engineering and in the asamadi@imprint.uwaterloo.ca environmental sector.One of the most

Imprint science

22 lens will consist of two non-mixing fluids in a tube. The curve of the meniscus between the fluids can be altered with currents sent through the tube, which changes the focus of the lens.

Perhaps the film industry will have only authenticity and nicer packaging to salvage their DVD sales in the future.

How copy-proof are DVDs?

In November 2003, astronomers in California discovered what could be our solar system’s tenth planet. Recently they named it “Sedna,” a name from Inuit mythology meaning goddess of the ocean. Sedna is said to be very small (approximately 1,700 kilometers in diameter) and is the second reddest planet, after Mars. Sedna is also said to be the coldest planet in the solar system, being 900 times further from the sun than Earth. Researchers estimate the maximum surface temperature of the planet to be - 240 degrees Celsius (it is probably colder for most of its 10,500 year orbit around the sun). The debate remains as to whether Sedna is actually a planet. Some critics have argued that it and Pluto are merely large objects in the outer portion of the solar system. Astronomy’s governing body, the International Astronomical Union, will deliberate this question.

Jason Yu IMPRINT STAFF

James Bond, move over

CeBIT 2004, a giant technology fair set again to take place March 18-24 in Hanover, Germany, will showcase some of the newest gadgets from Sony and Phillips. Among the most anticipated new gadgets to be introduced this year is the Sony PSX, which is built on the existing Play Station 2 gaming platform. The PSX will combine a TV tuner, a digital video recorder, a massive hard drive (160 GB or 250 GB), DVD playback and writing and networking capability. With all of these features, the PSX can act as the media hub for all of your home’s digital media. Other gadgets at CeBIT include a Swiss Army knife that also acts as a 128 MB memory key and a paper disposable computer developed by Cypak. The paper computer features 32 KB of memory and a speaker, perhaps making it useful as an interactive drug dispenser. Another breakthrough gadget is a lens that acts like a human eye from Phillips, having no moving parts. This

The film industry has a major problem on their hands — every time a new piracy protection mechanism is developed for DVDs there always seems to be a way around it and the discs can be copied easily. It is estimated that pirated DVDs cost the film industry US $500 million a year. Pirated DVDs litter the streets and shops in many parts of Asia and can easily be found in North America as well. To prevent copying, DVDs are sectioned into blocks that are each encrypted using a content scrambling system (CSS) and discs also bear a media ID to stop data transfer from one disc to another. In addition, regional coding of players (to stop discs sold in one part of the world from being viewed in players from another region) and a macro-vision DVD protection system that prevents VCRs from copying discs. With all these precautions in place, how does your average pirater successfully make copies of DVDs and sell them for only a few dollars? One way is with relatively simple computer programs that can decode CSS, allowing disc contents to be copied on to a hard drive and recorded on discs.

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Sedna, the chill planet

Are SUVs a threat to roads?

It seems that everybody is jumping on the all-wheel drive SUV bandwagon lately. For instance, Porsche, BMW and Volvo have recently introduced powerful, mainstream 4x4s that would make any hatchback driver sweat if they ever saw one in their rear-view mirror

Real or fake? You be the judge.

JASON YU

(not to mention the Hummer H2). These stylish, high-end vehicles are an increasing presence on urban roads and have been criticized for their questionable safety and gas consumption. Safety is not necessarily the concern of the SUV owner. An empirical study conducted by the Monash University Accident Research Centre found that many four-wheel drive models rank higher than many smaller cars for crash worthiness. In a collision, the larger mass of SUV can cause serious damage to a smaller car and its occupants, perhaps adding to the belief that SUVs are the safeter choice for many consumers. The major issue that SUV drivers face is an increased risk of

rollability because of the higher centre of gravity that these vehicles have. In terms of their fuel consumption, all-wheel drive cars such as the BMW X3 and X5, the Porsche Cayenne and the Ford Escape and Explorer, consume on average 12 liters per 100 kilometers on city tests. On the other hand, large two-wheel drive vehicles consume less than 10 liters during the same tests. There is a lot of information out there about the relative costs, benefits, safety and environmental impact that 4x4 SUVs have in comparison to other vehicles on the market. jyu@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

SPORTS FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004MARCH 19, 2004 FRIDAY,

Imprint sports sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

UW competes at nationals

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Track and Field team sends nine to Windsor —page 26

COURTESY UW FASTPITCH TEAM/JEN CALBECK

The UW women’s fastpitch team (above) plays in the competitive OIWFA league where the majority of players who participate have played midget or junior fastball for Tier 1 and Tier 2 teams, or at the very least for a very good house league team.

Fastpitch: UW’s women’s team struggles against all odds for varsity and OUA status Continued from cover

“They’re between a rock and a hard place,” said McCrae. “You can’t fulfill everyone’s needs and dreams…we’ve tried to accommodate them in some of their practice settings.” Despite being appreciative of the athletics department’s efforts, the UW fastpitch team feels that the department’s efforts are simply not enough in order to gain much-needed recognition required to successfully fundraise. “At this time, the athletics department is unable to offer us anything more than advice,” said former UW fastpitch team manager Vicki Ferguson. “We have been unable to convince them to mention us on the athletics Web site so far. Six of the other 11 OIWFA teams including Windsor, [which is] to be inducted this year, are mentioned on their respective universities’ official athletics Web sites.” McCrae says that there is no policy against having the team on the UW Athletics’ Web site, however, she feels the Web site is already quite full and says that exceptions like the cheerleading and band groups, which are not varsity sports, are posted on the Web page because they need “a boost” because they fill spirit and community needs. “What I’m trying to avoid is being an advertising agent for everybody’s

wish,” added McCrae in reference to posting information about the fastpitch team on the athletics Web site. “Both the University of Toronto, and University of Windsor teams have been granted varsity status at their respective schools, and others have been recognized as ‘competitive club teams.’ UW does not have a ‘competitive club’ slot to fit us into,” added Ferguson. “I would think that the kids who are paying the student service fee—paying for the recreational and athletic component—I think they would want me to spend it on the things that are supported in the system or that in recreation there is a large number of people partaking,” said McCrae of the financial restraints the university faces. Yet, Ferguson says there has been plenty of interest in the team, with over 100 women showing interest in the team in the past three years and about 60 of them have showed up for tryouts. Nevertheless, the team faces serious hardship in just raising the funds needed to run the team at a barebones level through fundraising and player fees. “Our funds come from player fees, subsidized by fundraising,” explained Ferguson. “Jen [Calbeck, who is this year’s team manager,] is starting an aggressive fundraising campaign this year, which hopefully will help offset our costs. We feel that we might have more success in our fundraising efforts

if we were able to use the Warriors name,” added Ferguson. The Waterloo men’s baseball team, which has been an OUA sport for three years, was allowed to use the “Warrior” name and was given pseudo-varsity team status two years before they became an official OUA sport in 2001; however, these privileges were not extended to the men until it was clear that the sport was clearly heading down the road to gaining official OUA status. “If you’re wearing a University of Waterloo [Warriors] uniform then we have some responsibility. They are not part of the house. “I think they are farther ahead to go and use Waterloo and just omit ‘University of,’ which is kind of a very formal step, but [using ‘University of’] is a very compelling mismanagement step,” said McCrae. “I think it’s terrible timing right now. There are a lot of universities trying to reduce their rosters because they think if they did less that they could do better with what [sports] they remain in. I’m not sure that’s a one-toone equation,” argued athletics director McCrae. “If I had ten less people on my door every second day, I would have more time to maybe make things better.” There is little doubt that the circumstances are complicated. “It is a complex situation where

everyone is doing their best to have a positive end result,” said this year’s UW fastpitch manager Jen Calbeck. “So far it has been the players who have paid to play, as well as paying for out of town travel and accommodations. We are hoping this year to be successful in fundraising to lower or eliminate the costs for the girls. I would love to even be able to give the girls some benefits from the fundraising [such as] sweaters, warm-up suits, et cetera, but we are a long way from that yet.” Todd Ronald and Val Barker will be behind the bench when this year’s edition of the women’s fastpitch team hits the diamond. The fastpitch team is holding tryouts on three more days in the near future at the main CIF gym from 9 a.m. until 11 a.m. on March 21, 28 and April 3. “There will be other tryouts come September for those new students on campus. Right now the coaches have not made any roster choices so every spot is up for grabs so to speak,” added manager Calbeck. “We are looking to have around 13 or 14 girls on the team and would love to see as many girls as possible try out.” So far there have already been two tryouts with about 15 people trying out each time. rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

UW Baseball Chronology UW men’s baseball team: 1996: Begins to play in the Canadian InterCollegiate Baseball Association (CIBA) 1999: Starts to officially use the name “Warriors”, but referred to as the Warriors in media sources as early as 1996 1999: Begins to play at Jack Couch Park in Kitchener 2001: Officially gains varsity and OUA status UW women’s fastpitch team: 2001: OIWFA created 2002: Ferguson approaches McCrae to make fastpitch a varsity sport; denied. UW team begins to compete in 2002 2004: Windsor joins OIWFA (now a total of 11 teams)

Imprint sports

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FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Campus Recreation honours volunteers at banquet Adam McGuire IMPRINT STAFF

UW campus recreation wrapped up another successful year of activities, services and programs when the annual campus recreation recognition dinner was staged at the Laurel Room in South Campus Hall last night. The event, held at the end of each winter term, celebrates and recognizes the tireless efforts and dedication of numerous individuals involved in the campus recreation program. The 2004 version did not disappoint, as many of the unsung heroes behind the smooth-running programs at campus recreation finally received the acknowledgement they so muchly deserved. Nobody was more worthy than the 2004 Hopkins-Kemp Honourary Achievement Award recipient, Matthew Bells. Bells, an arts student and long-time campus rec-

reation volunteer, was chosen as the recipient of the award that, by definition, “recognizes those individuals who have made a long term commitment and significant contribution to the University of Waterloo Campus Recreation program.” As an integral part of the campus recreation archery program, Bells certainly deserves one of the highest honours that can be bestowed by campus recreation. “Matt is a very dedicated Archery Club executive,” commented campus recreation coordinator Nicole Vander Beek. “His countless hours of volunteer work have ensured the continued success of the Archery Club.” The three annual Jud Whiteside Leadership awards were also doled out at the ceremony, as three dedicated individuals were honoured for their long-term contributions to campus recreation. The Whiteside recipient for the spring 2003 term was Roxanne Leblanc. The soon-to-be graduate (Leblanc is currently in her last term at UW) has volunteered for years with campus recreation while also holding down a part-time job at the

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PAC equipment desk. “She’s very well-liked and wellrespected,” said campus recreation’s Jen Lennon. “She demonstrates everything we want [in a volunteer].” For the fall 2003 term, the Witheside winner was Kyle Smith. Smith has been the referee-in-chief for campus recreation ice hockey since fall 2002, and has also served as the cross-sport coordinator of referee development. “Kyle will put the effort in,” said campus recreation league manager Marc Iturriaga. “[His] kind of dedication really stands out.” The third and final Whiteside award recipient was Tiffany Murray, who was honoured for her efforts in the winter 2004 term. Murray served as fitness program coordinator where she excelled in her first term at that position. “She’s done an outstanding job,” said Lennon. “The group needed a lot of guidance and someone to guide them and she’s certainly done that.” Also honoured were numerous Outstanding Graduating Seniors, who were recognized for their tireless efforts during their stints at the

University of Waterloo. In a special ceremony, Outstanding Graduating Senior Jacob Kilis was presented with a referee’s jersey as a special recognition paying homage to his 850-plus games that he has offici-

ated at UW. “That’s a record that probably won’t be touched for a long time!” laughed Iturriaga. amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

It’s a mad mad mad mad tourney Adam McGuire TWO-MINUTE WARNING Whoever coined the term “March Madness” is an absolute genius. The NCAA annual men’s basketball tournament has perhaps the most accurate moniker in all of sports, because it captures the complete chaos and insanity that inevitably accompanies the yearly 64-team horserace. For hoops fans across the globe, March is the most anticipated month of the year. Ladies and gentlemen, let the madness begin. March Madness is the best basketball gets. It is invigorating, it is fast-paced, it is emotional; basically, it is everything that pro basketball isn’t. But while some people love the tournament just because the Los Angeles Lakers are not in it (hey, the less I see of Shaq and Kobe, the better), the madness is truly induced by the most revered aspect of sport — the upset. Like the pseudo fans that watch auto racing in anticipation of the metal-twisting, flesh-tearing wrecks, people from Eastern Washington to Florida A&M clamor around their television sets to see the next big upset. Anything can happen in a sixround single-elimination tournament and that prospect seems to arouse unbridled interest in every March Madness match-up. Nothing can induce a serious case of indigestion better than a few beers, a

guacamole overdose and a thirteenth seed sending home your fourthranked favourites in the first round. The upsets put the “mad” in March Madness. On top of the lunacy that ensues when the top teams topple, college sports are simply fantastic to watch, especially the brand the NCAA governs south of the border. Student athletes are playing for the love of the game and for nothing else, which makes the on-floor product significantly better to watch. In sharp contrast to the soulful university hoopsters, professional basketball players are, as a whole, the whiniest collection of millionaires to walk the face of the earth, with the possible exception of Martha Stewart.

March Madness allows us to see the superstars of tomorrow before they inexplicably morph into cashspending, cocainestashing prima donnas. The NBA’s usually-passionless pace of play is obliterated by that of the NCAA tourney, whose players still care more about the numbers on the scoreboard more than the numbers on their paycheques. March Madness allows us to see the superstars of tomorrow before they inexplicably morph into cash-spending, cocaine-stashing prima donnas.

And because March Madness is a collegiate event, it ensures that the passion will not be lost amongst the fans. The best thing about the tournament could very well be the lack of suits amongst the masses of bleacher rats. During March Madness, the world of the $400 corporate floor seat is happily crushed beneath the massive rear end of a sweaty, fullfigured Oklahoma State student who’s become so excited by the action that his orange and black face paint has begun to descend into his eyes. Gonzaga has thousands of fans. St. Joseph’s has thousands of fans. Even Bobby Knight’s Texas Tech has thousands of fans. The reality is that every team in the mix has enough supporters to fill any arena on the continent, as the die-hards at March Madness live and die by the performances of their peers-becomeheroes on the hardwood. And the throngs of pure-hearted fans at the tourney ensure that Jack Nicholson will be held to Lakers games. The NCAA tourney is basketball in its most exhilarating form. From the players to the fans and yes, even the media members covering the tourney, everyone seems to have at least a piece of their heart invested in the outcome of the games. Nothing in sport quite rivals the drive to the Final Four and the three weekends in March where everyone seems to be a fan of college basketball. March Madness is hoops in its purest form, where the excitement is enough to drive students, fans and outsiders alike into an extreme state of never-before-seen insanity. Or madness, if you will. amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Imprint sports

25

We don’t give a Schott about Marge A fitting farewell to the woman who put the bigots back in baseball

MARK STRATFORD

On March 2, 2004, 75-year-old Marge Schott, the one-time owner of the Cincinnati Reds who led them to the title of World Champs in 1990, passed away. No blacks, Jews, Asians or homosexuals were present when she died, and if they had they surely would have induced the heart attack that did it. It is a safe bet that all AfricanAmericans were asked to lie down in the street as the hearse drove past in a show of gratitude, as was dictated in her will. Farewell to Marge Schott — the successor to John Rocker as baseball’s most disgusting pseudo-human! The game won’t be the same without her extra large shadow cast over the field (or at least over the non-white players). Marge Schott was quite arguably the worst human being professional sports ever saw. She was an embodiment of stereotypes in an arena that thrives on them. She, of all people in the sports world, should have known better, being a woman intruding on a profession that is commonly thought to be a boy’s club. Her frequent dumb-ass slurs against Jews, blacks and anybody not exactly like her did their small part of perpetuating the closed-mindedness of the

majority of professional athletes and bringing she was forced out of management of the team endless shame to Cincinnati — a city that, ironi- due to the heat caused by her notoriously big cally, she loved with every inch of her bleeding mouth. Schott took away $67 million from her cow heart. sale of the Reds, which she may or may not have Of course, there was more to Schott than off- spent entirely on white sheets and lighter fluid. the-cuff remarks. She was a savvy businessHer greatest hits included implementing a woman who would scrimp and save money in policy of not hiring any more black players, any way possible and then pour uncountable collecting swastika armbands and opining that dividends into the com“only fruits wear earfort and happiness of her rings.” Perhaps Schott’s beloved Reds. It can’t be shining moment came in Schott took away easy doing that with a 1992, when she was straight face and then callquoted in the New York $67 million from ing them “jiggaboos and Times as saying that Adolf her sale of the slanty-eyed’s” behind Hitler had great ideas durtheir backs. It’s an accoming his reign and that she Reds, which she plishment, I guess. would have voted for him may or may not The goodness continif he were still alive. She ues. She used charity also said she had no idea have spent entirely projects to show her supwhy the word “Japs” was on white sheets port for children and anioffensive. mals, as long as she didn’t Now she is dead and and lighter fluid. have to touch them at all. we may never understand She would call everyone the mystique that surshe met “honey,” which rounded this woman. is a bit like Charles Manson seductively stroking Her personality is so hard to peg — why did she a bedpost while calling you “angel hips.” donate million of dollars to children’s charities She may be the first and only person ever to and then go out of her way to not be around gross more people out with the sound of her them? Why did she manage a baseball team if she abrasive Cincinnatian voice (“Hey, how ya doin’? didn’t like people of different colours? I’m Maaahhhhhge!!!”) rather than her tendency Perhaps her greatest legacy is that of a whipto smoke her way through a pack of Carlton ping post. On the Howard Stern Radio Show in the cigarettes every twelve seconds. Ultimately, her early nineties, voice actor Billy West (of Futurama controversial comments led to her downfall, as fame) would impersonate Schott, rambling off

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Former Reds’ owner and controversial personality Marge Schott passed away this month at the age of 75. some of the most bloodcurdling epithets ever heard by human ears (think “jewbags”), all in the name of jest. It was hilarious, because it was based on truth. Just like Norman Lear did in the ‘70s with the creation of Archie Bunker, it was an example of using a character to expose both how harrowing and how idiotic the prejudices of people like Marge Schott were. Some might see it as being disrespectful to a woman who did tons of public service and was merely misguided in her ways. Some might see it as a cruel way of depicting a woman who clearly had more issues than a magazine warehouse. I see it as Marge Schott being remembered for what she truly was — an anomaly to the laws of humanity, who gave all her time and money to people she truly loved and was somehow still a walking piece of shit. I hope they buried her next to Harriet Tubman. Maybe she’ll learn something.

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FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004

Nine athletes headline UW contingent Warrior men finish second-last but gain valuable experience as they head into a brighter 2004-05 Rod McLachlan IMPRINT STAFF

Despite finishing in second-last place at the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS), the Waterloo Warriors track and field team has much to look forward to for next season after gaining some valuable experience at this year’s season ending 2003-2004 national championships. The prime-time CIS event took place at the University of Windsor’s St. Denis Centre from March 11-13. Waterloo was well represented with nine men making the trip down highway 401 to city of Windsor, the unofficial autocapital of Canada. The Warriors competed in nine different events including one field event and earned four team points in the process.

The University of Windsor Lancers finished in first place on the men’s side and in the process captured CIS gold to surpass their competition with ease with 59 team points. In an unprecedented CIS women’s team performance, the Saskatchewan Huskies clobbered their competition to seize first place with 91.5 team points. For the Warriors, Scott Arnald finished in sixth place in the 1500m run with a time of 3:58.96. Michael Logue wound up in eighth in the 3000m race.

In the relay events Waterloo finished in seventh, sixth and fifth in the 4X200m, 4X400m and 4X800m events respectively. Adrian Blair, Joe Brown, Shane Ferth, Nnaemeka Ukwuoma, Davis Dowhaniuk, Will Gibons, Scott Arnold and Colin Lawrence all pulled a shift of relay duty for Waterloo in the three relay events. The group of eight runners also grabbed solid finishes in the 200m and 400m dash relays and the 800m run relay. In the men’s triple jump event, Andrew

MacDonald turned in a respectible performance. His jump of 13.47m earned him an eighth place finish. With six rookies on the men’s track and field team and eight on the women’s things are expected to improve next season. rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Correction Cor-

In the March 12 issue of Imprint on page 25, the UW lifeguarding team “Protection is a must” was incorrectly identified as “Uwoff.” Imprint apologizes for this error.

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CLASSIFIEDS CAMPUS BULLETIN Rates: 20 Words/over 20 + GST Fee-Paying Students:$3.00 /.15 Non-Students:$6.00/.25 Business/Students:$10.00/.25

TERM SUBSCRIPTIONS Fall or Winter $17.75 Summer $8.00

HOUSING Bridgeport Lofts, Bridgeport/Regina Streets, Waterloo - the region's finest student accommodations. Many May 1 leases available for four months, eight months or one year. No September leases. Contact the property manager at 7475294; go to our website at www.pdhco.ca or e-mail bridgeportlofts@rogers.com for further details. Excellent sublets in quiet/clean building. Two and three bedroom units rented at $550 inclusive a month for entire unit or can be rented by the room at $275. Call W.O.C.H. at 747-7276. May and September rentals available in quiet buildings, 12 and 8 month leases. Housing from one to six per unit. Rent prices from $340-$495 inclusive. Call us first at W.O.C.H., 747-7276. One – three bedroom apartment newly renovated. Laundry facilities, parking, close to both universities. Utilities included. $405/student/month, minimum three students. Lease May 1, 2004 to April 30, 2005. For appointment, call 416-491-1370, cell 416-705-5648. Immediate rental of one bedroom in townhouse at 80 Churchill. Rent for $250 per month plus utilities. Call Darlene for details at 746-1411. 256 Phillip Street – three and four bedroom for rent May 1, 2004. Fridge, stove, washer/dryer and parking. Utilities extra. Call 572-7465. Summer housing in Barrie - $220. Nice furnished rooms with laundry, cable, phone, air conditioning. Special deal by a former UW student don. 885-5825. Four bedroom condo for rent – May 1/04 to Apr 30/05. 10 minute walk from UW. Great condition, includes gas fireplace, air conditioning, fridge/stove/dishwasher, full laundry, deck, garage. Call Steve 569-7700 and refer Condo #25. Five bedroom house – Sept. 2004, Lakeshore area, 20 minute walk, great neighborhood, laundry facilities, large bar/rec room. Parking for two cars. $1895/ month, 12 month lease. Call 519-8887377. Five bedroom house available September. Uptown Waterloo, close to amenities, laundry facilities, parking, 8 month lease. $2195/month, 12 month negotiable. Call Mike 888-7377. Large rental units. Limited time special rental rate for large multi-level three bedroom townhouses in student complex. Prices range from $350-$450 a room per month. Utilities included with some of the units. Check out availabilities and showing times at www.haneypm.com or call us at 519-746-1411. Erb Street rental special. Five student rental unit. Two kitchens, two bathrooms and lots of space. Special rate of $350 each bedroom with utilities included. Call us at 519-746-1411. Stop living like a student! Beautiful four bedroom house available in the prestigious Columbia Forest. Minutes from UW. Features four bedrooms and full kitchen, two and one half bathrooms, five appliances, air conditioning, two parking spots. $400 plus utilities. Call 416-578-2053 or 519-883-9387. $300 all inclusive – three minute walk to UW. Two bedrooms in basement. Free laundry. Nice backyard. Outdoor pool. Parking available. Please e-mail navander@hotmail.com. 746-8559 Nicole. Spring term sublet available. 5 min walk to UW. Air conditioning. $350, utilities included. Shared spacious basement apartment. Partially furnished, free parking. Contact Ashley 888-8212, asher80@hotmail.com. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a

detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 725-5348.

HELP WANTED Camp Wayne for girls – childrens' sleepaway camp, Northeast Pennsylvania (6/ 18-8/15/04). If you love children and want a caring, fun environment, we need female staff as directors and instructors for tennis, golf, gymnastics, swimming, waterskiing, sailing, team sports, cheerleading, ropes, camping/nature, drama, video, ceramics, sculpture, batik, silkscreen, guitar, jewelry, piano, photography, aerobics, martial arts. Other positions: group leaders, administrative/ driver, nursing students. On campus interview March 20, 2004. Apply online at www.campwaynegirls.com or call 1-516889-3217. Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eightmonth commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Summer employment – Erbsville Kartway requires full time and part time help for yard maintenance, pit crew and licenced concession stand. Starting weekends in April, 884-5650.

SER VICES SERVICES Essay help – research and writing. Winning applications, entrance letters from dedicated writing experts. 1-888-3458295 or www.customessay.com. “Ultimate Questions” The Lord Jesus Christ is the difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence. Please send name and address to: Bible Study, Zion United Reformed Church, 1238 Main Street, Sheffield, ON, L0R 1Z0 or email bible@zurch.on.ca. See website: www.zurch.on.ca. Click on links, ask for book, sign up today, it’s free! Too many essays, too little time? Essay Experts can help. We provide essay writing/editing/research services. Professional writers. Satisfaction guaranteed. No job too big or too small. 1-877-974-TEXT or essayexperts.ca.

PERSON ALS PERSONALS Pregnant? Loving couple with two year old, looking to expand our family through adoption. Home study completed. Call collect 705-474-7217.

FOR SALE HP Scanjet IICX, as is, $15 – come to Imprint, SLC, room 1116 between 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. or call 888-4048 for information.

TUT ORS TUTORS ESL tutor: experienced teacher – help at any level, all areas: grammar, pronunciation, writing skills, vocabulary, listening skills, oral reports. 745-7298.

VOL UNTEER OLUNTEER Lutherwood is seeking volunteers for CradleLink, (three/four hours per week, in home) and Child and Parent Place (three to five hours bi-weekly). Building Better Futures...One Volunteer At A Time. www.lutherwoodcoda.org. Have fun tutoring children and youth for an hour or so once a week. Volunteer at UW Tutors. We are a Feds club and affiliated with Frontier College. Call 7478113 or e-mail Candace at chillier@frontiercollege.ca. Buskers Carnival seeks administrative volunteer – Buskers won't be here until August, but a reliable and organized director of administration is needed now to oversee reports and minutes for the carnival's volunteer board. This person will work closely with the board's chairperson and with a city staff liaison to ensure accurate carnival records. Attendance at monthly meetings is required. To volunteer your administrative skills in support of this worthwhile community event, call 888-6488, Volunteer Services, City of Waterloo.

ANNOUNCE Need food or short of cash? The Feds food bank is a confidential student-run food bank that provides non-perishable goods to UW students in need. Visit us in the Student Life Centre, room 2108 or you can e-mail us at: uwfoodbank@hotmail.com. Are you Croatian? Are you dating? Are you between the ages of 18 and 32? University of Guelph master student would like to interview Croatians who are in a dating relationship with a Canadian or a Croatian. Both men and women are eligible. Please contact Marinela Braunstein for info at 519-496-6612 or mbraunst@uoguelph.ca. Looking for career direction? Explore your options at Career Services, TC room 1214. Exchanges for undergraduates and graduates – 2004-2005 academic years: RhoneAlpes, France and Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany – internal deadline is February 13, 2004. Micefa Paris France – internal deadline March 12, 2004. For info and application forms contact Maria Lango, IPO, Needles Hall 1043, room 1001C, ext. 3999 or by e-mail mlango@uwaterloo.ca. Winter 2004 – student skills workshop and personal growth workshops available. Call Counselling Services at ext. 2655. Free tuition ($4,500) raffle! Support optometry students who are providing eye care in 3rd world coutries. Tickets are $5each or 5/$20. Available in SLC at lunch or e-mail a6khan@hotmail.com. Draw held March 19 at Fed Hall. March is Learning Disabilities Month at the Office for Persons with Disabilities. Please check out our website at www.studentservices.uwaterloo.ca/ disbilities/ or stop by our office (room #1132) in Needles Hall for more information. Eighth Annual Contact - Toronto Pho-

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tography Festival happens Saturday, May 1 to Monday, May 31, 2004. The largest annual photography event in North America, celebrates photography in a month long program of events that includes exhibitions in over 160 venues across the Greater Toronto Area. For more information visit www.contactphoto.com or call 416-5399595.

UPCOMING Friday, March 19, 2004 WLU is performing the musical "Hair" on March 19 and 20 at the Turret Nightlclub at Laurier. For more information or to order tickets, call Laura at 880-1297 or e-mail us at wlumusical@hotmail.com. Saturday, March 20, 2004 French Movie Festival – Three French films will be shown. Begins 7:00 p.m. in the Maureen Forrester Recital Hall at Wilfrid Laurier. For more info contact Milo Sweedler at 519-884-0710 ext. 3002. Sunday, March 21, 2004 WLU Jazz Ensemble and Jazz Choir presents Jazz Concert at 3:00 p.m. in the Maureen Forrester Recital Hall. For ticket and other information, contact Carol Raymond at craymond@wlu.ca or 519884-0710 ext. 2150. Monday, March 22, 2004 Central Ontario Orchid Society general monthly meeting. Come out to see our speaker/seminar/demonstration, plant sales, orchid supplies and show table of orchids in bloom. 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. at St. Joseph's Church (lower hall), Courtland/Madison, Kitchener. Cost is free. Contact 634-5540. WLU presents lecture on Marshall McLuhan, 7:00 p.m. in room AB101 of the Bricker academic building. For more information, contact Penelope IronstoneCatterall at pironsto@wlu.ca or 519-8840710 ext. 3121. Tuesday, March 23, 2004 Guelph Epilepsy Awareness Forum. Speakers include Carol McMullen, a learning disablility specialist and Deborah Murray, who will be sharing her personal experiences with living with epilepsy. 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. at the Assembly Hall, 73 Delhi Street, Guelph. WLU presents Middle East lecture, 7:00 p.m. in room AB101 of the Bricker academic building. For more information, contact Faith McCord at fmccord@wlu.ca or 519-884-0710 ext 3625. Wednesday, March 24, 2004 WLU presents Heinbaecher lecture on the UN, 7:00 p.m. in the senate and board chambers. For more info, contact Deborah Currie at dcurrie@wlu.ca or 519-8840710 ext. 3800.

27

Saturday, March 27, 2004 K-W Epilepsy Awareness Forum. Dr. Mark Nagler, a recognized authority in the field of disability studies, will be speaking on how to manage the stigma that people living with epilepsy can experience. 9:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m. at Kaufman Building of the Grand River Hospital, Kitchener. Kids on the Block presentation to follow Dr. Nagler's presentation. Approximately 20 minutes. To reserve seats/for cost information, call 519-745-2112.

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