2004-05_v27_no22_Imprint by Editor Imprint

UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER

JANUARY 14, 2005

VOL 27, NO 22

IMPRINT. UWATERLOO .CA

Crimes at • • englneenng • contlnue This time they hit the dean of engineering's office Bianca Tong and Rob Blom IMPRINT STAFF

A wave of crime has hit U\Yi" s grounds, as the dean of engineering's office was broken into over the weekend. At approximately 1 a.m. on the morning of Monday, January 10, the safe in Dean Adel Sedra's office was broken into, and valuable keys which access server rooms, offices and classrooms in engineering

,""ere taken. ,The ~ircckend theft comes on the hecisofthree :;peci:ili7.L'(} pro~'ctnrs from Rod Coutts f>lall,lJeingstoleil over the hohd'af'itnO the Ne'WY~sdayhmgla-" ries at Ron Eydt Yillage. Because the engineering buildings are in the process of being rekeyed over the next couple ofweeks, there has been an added police presence around the southeast part of campus; notably at night. The University ofWaterloo is one of the few universities that has maintained an open door policy in its buildings at all hours. Many students use the open buildings late at night for study groups, to use computers or just to socialize. Students and staff are beginning to wonder what this means in terms of keeping valuables safe. Dean Sedra seeks to quell fears of nightly lockdowns: '''We don't want to turn the school into a fortress, but would like a happy medium." The math faculty has taken the precaution of closing the computer labs at 4 p.m. in response to the thefts. Discussions have been held about what is to be done, and whether access to buildings at night should be controlled, but nothing has been set in stone. ''We have to re-evaluate our position and reconsider our policies so as not to invite trouble. No decisions have been made however concerning locking doors" says Sedra. UW Police were contacted, butwere unavailable forcomment. The recent crime spree has unfortunately been common. Recent years have seen nurrierous break-ins and burglaries of student societies, residences and offices. The PAC has been no stranger to locker thefts, and similarly, the Dana Porter and Davis Center libraries have seen their share of pilfering. The UW Police have increased their patrol by one

over the last year according to Sergeant \'{'ayne Shortt. Consequently, Sedra stresses that "there is no reason for personal safety concerns", and also urges that students and staff be "vigilant over the next couple of weeks" as things are put straight. Associate VP Learning Resources and Innovation, Tom Carey was also contacted, but declined to comment. If you saw anything suspicious around engineering on Sunday night or "Monday morning, please contact the UWPolice at 888-4911. bianca@imprint.uwaterloo.ca rblom@imprint,uwaterloo.ca

Past thefts at the University of Waterloo Q Ron Edyt Village - Thieves broke into the bottom floor of the south quad and looted several rooms. The valuables that were stolen consisted of laptops, DVDs and game systems. (J Dana Porter Library and PAC - Police reported at least 37 crimes against private property in the past two years. (J The Environmental Studies Society - The office was broken into and the safe was stolen. Just a week before the theft, the ES office was broken into, presumably for the same reason.

(J In 2003, the number of thefts that year represented a four-fold increase over the past four years. There were 47 cases of break-and-enter-and-theft reported in 2003. The numbers have increased since then.

FRIDAY,JANUARY 14,2005

advice you g. looking for housing?

"00 not live with a psycho." Katie Daniar

"Apply for on-campus housing, it's less of a hassle."

28 kinesiology

Vivian Wong 2B medical sciences

Across 1. A fiance's last fling 5.JiminyCricket's astral body of choice 9. Feudal slaves 14. Rough and tllmble match 15. Unsafe launch condition 16. Single-person sea-路going vessel 17. Guns and Roses fron t man if only 'idth an e 18. Musical composition 19..All people in the room 20. Cmmudgeonly 23. Film cut 24. Ret1exive form of it 28. Plaza hotel inhabitant of a children's story 31. ]\Iary Poppins finale song 33. Quantity of no importance 34. Planning student's career goal 36. Astral sign 37. Black pit 38. EU in the bCf,rinning 39. Former Campus Pizza 40. Just north of east 41. Off-the-cuff 45. Loosen fibres 46. A spineless person 47. Serving dishes 48. A complex way for goveming 50. Hamelin's piper 51. Permanant 57. Financialourlay 60. French setting 61. Donkey call

62. Physicist who thought about the elements 63. The distance that the eastern magi came from 64. Wolf den 65. Disney's mermaid 66. Kelly, or Autrey 67. \"\'ooden match company

Down 1. Little fish 2. Likely the most tossed car in a Spidcr-lvhn f11m

25. Join up 26. Have your propert"y taken 27. They follow monsoons 28. Anaesthetic gases 29. Bugs, Taz and company 30. Baby owls 31. King's retail1er's position 32. Arnerican unit of measure 35. Bubbly chocolate bar 39. Quantifiable 41. Mack the knifc 42. Alaskan gold rush 43~ .A l(.r~:e.r of food ~~nd drink

56.

"live with hot, single girls." Josh Leombruni

"Close to a fraternity, there'll be great parties."

2B science

Aidan Borges

B. Wihere Frankiewants to fly with you

57. Certifted public accountant 58. Ro\yboat mowr 59. Skate under the int1ucnce

21. Quick intake ofbreath 22. Nicer than the bark

nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterioo.ea

12. Not ncar

2B science

(Transliterated into English alphabet, if necessary)

5. papal, scamp, scythe, linnet LINESHG

"Start looking early or you'll live in the SLC."

"Live with clean roommates so you don't smell."

Billy Peisachovlich .

Kevin Smith

28 kinesiology

4B science and business

2. rot, pharaon, marge, halr

6. kolla, eller, inte, andra

CREHFN

DEWHISS

3. pressa, kak, shtoh, gospadeen

7. janina, natun, shundnr, garom LIEGANB

8. tardes, cera, noventa, buenos HIPSSAN

"Same sex roommates, girls are nuts."

"Be organized and start early."

Marty McKenzie

Michelle Lovrics

3A math

2B ree and business

Final

Quotation~

"Di~ faens romp'es1i~e:r" is protane phrase 111 th1s language

news@imprint.uwatedoo.ca

Have you ever heard someone questioning how much tDday's students care? I'd bet the fann that you have. In this day and age, thetenns "university student" and "apathy" tend to be used interchangeably. Detractors suggest plenty ofpossible reasons, from socialization processes that masspj)yJuce seLf-involved youth (msert favourite consumt:ris.midiom here), to a feeling amongst the yom~lF:t generation that society's probJems are tc.'o hv:ge and that politicians are too blind, out of touch and unl'esponsive to the issues that uruversiry-a8"~d people might care about. The end rt~sult, no mattenvhich ofthe abovementioned theories you put your faith in, is low participation ftOll'} young voters in elections -national or othel"\vise-alack ofpositive student accivism and an overall deficit of youthful volunteerisln. Intercsting·- and also \vrong. Certainly everyone 011 this campus is well aware of the devastation caused by the tsunami ill South Asia. In fact, a good portion of our sn. . dents have had a horrific, first-hand account ofthose events, including 11 studentsvlsitingSri Lanka over the holidays. In the wake of this shocking episode of international crisis, aid be·· gan to stream, albeit slowly to affected areas from a multitude of sources. To date, just over $5billion has been raised internationally for the relief efforts. Fo.rapathetic students, situated in safety thou-

f stud

sands of miles away ftom the tsunami's destruction, was there really any reason to get involved locally? Wouldn't this be a prime illustration of something too massive fm young people to even contemplate, let alone respond tQ? No. In the past few days, a numb~ ofyarious and diverse Feds clubs have been an instrumental part of the Federation of Students' Tsunami Relief Effort Orange Ribbon Campait,m that UW has held on campus this past week. They have generously donated their time (a commod·· ity for students, analogous to cigarettes among-st prisoners) and energy to run donation tables at numerous buildings around our campus. They include: U\V Sai Baba Group, Business and Investment Club, Vietnamese Students Association, \Vaterlo{) Chinese Catholic Community, Waterloo Catholic Fellowship, Campus Crusade for Christ, Fraternity and Sorori.ty .Awareness Club, UWDEX, Hindu Students Association, U\\7 International Health and Development, Waterloo Tamil Students Association, UW Pre-Med Club, The Navigators, Transcending All Borders, u\'{r Chinese Dranla Club, Quiz Bow}, Youth For Christ, Armenian Students Association, Swing and Soci.,llDance Club, New Democrat Club and 1'iuslim Student's Association. On top of all of this, students just randomly dropped by to offer heIp and support, as well as Federation ofStudents' councilors, the Turnkeys,

ap thy and U\l/ staff. They came together and worked towards a common altruistic goal. They co-operated in the name of a goal greater than themselves. This stor}' has repeated itself countless times across this country and indeed acrossmuchof the world. If student indifference had the grasp on the student community as many c~im it does, it would be really, really hard -~ like comhinarorics and optimization or systems engineering hard.to explain whathas takenplare across this campus over the past few days. 1 \,,-ill let you in on a secret: U\V students demonstrate on an almost daily basis that they are concerned about other individuals in other cultures. The success of the reliefefforts is laudable, butnot unexpected or shocking. Students on this campus are constantly engaged in awareness cam·· paigns, fundraising, spiritu,'llity exercises and a host of other activities desit,med to leave ttl'.;!!" campus, and indeed the \vorld, better off then the way in which they fi.mnd it. The Orange Ribbon Cunpaign is only the latest illustration of the pmver smdent.s hold to have a positive impact on the \vorld when they work together for a COlnD;longoal. TIle generosit)' ofU\~l demonstrates the power of student activL<;m. TIle success of the reliefeffort~ reveals the fact that university students are neither apathetic nor completelY:lelf-absotb<:."fi. The Millenni.al-Genemtion·...o··· to which most of ll-le population at \X'atcdoo are charter mern·· bers of- are engaged, upbe-.l.t, optimistic and 'Willing to make a difference, provided an opportunity. . I get the privilege of working \vith all ofthese people every day. -- Rick Theis

UW's charity funds going to pesky missionaries?

Mark Stratford IMPRfNTSTAFF

Universities/Colleges An entrepreneurship class assignment by a student at St. Mary's University in Halifax has brewed up controversy, as student Paul Pedersen has been refused pennission to continue selling his "2005 Halifax University Girls Calendar" on school propetty. P<..'ciersen, who fulfilled the assignment's requirement of creating a prof-itable business \vithout spending more than $10, has received mixed rcvicws ofhis calendar, which ieatlJ..rcs21 female SMU student.s posingin bikinis and other sexy garb. The school's \'('omen'sCentre lU1d various faculty members expressed concern that it is disrespectful to women, \Vht~eas Pcdersen'sprofgavehiman"A"fQrsellingnearly 500 copies of the calendar in the last four days of classes last term. The calendaris sriHavailable at the off-campus T'Dirsty Duck pub. Canada

The Ontario government appointed a pand

over the liquor industl)' is compliant with the needs of LCBO customers. Ontario Fir'.ance Minister Greg Sorbara stressed that this in no way means any changes will come of the service or availability of LCBO locations and products. "'The LCBO is not for sale," he said. "This is an oppor. tunityforinlpm:tialcxpertstolUldermkeacompre.hensive review of the industry and r(.'Commend ways it can work better." Free samples, anyone?

International

I was shocked to read of the ribbon campaign being conducted byvarious Feds Clubs at l.JW to aid those who suffered through the recent tsu· namiinAsia. Of course, I think it's great that we would organize efforts to assist the victims of this horrible disaster, but has anybody noticed that some of the funds are being misused to further narrow reljgious purposes? Apparently the money was going to go to Wodd Vision. 'lnanks likely to pul)lic outcry, the funds will he split across a couple orgaruzations. Still, I doubt that UW students \.vould have given so selflessly had they known that much of the money won't be used entirely to help the tsunami victims. Good or World ·Vision. This self-desG.<1.bed "Christian organization" is notorious mostly for running irritating, lengthy commerciais that hijack our TVs on weekday mornings. Is this how they manifest, according to their website, "the abundance of God' s.love?" There must be dozens of better 0:rganizations doing good work to help the tsunami victims who we could have donated to instead: the Red Cross, Foster Parents' Plan, Doctors With ow Borders, UNICEF and Project Hope.

services" to tell Muslim and Hindu children The list goes on. Look at the countries hardest hit by the about how tl1ey get to go to hell if they don't disaster: Sri Lanka, Indonesia, India and ThairenOlL.'lCe their faidund acceptJesus. land. Most in these countries wouldn't identify The World Vision U.S. website brilb'" that themselves as Christian. Why, I wonder, do we they integrate "Christian activities into [their} choose a Christian organization as ourvehide to project work." They desire to "follow Christ so attempt to deliver aid? that His love and life can be experienced by According to the president of World Vision community members, y0U11g and old alike." ',}'v'here does your money go, exactly? The Canada, they pray "for a worldwhere every child ort,ranization"partners with local churches in the· can Imow the love ofJesus through the actions of those who care." These victims have lived communities where [they] work, providing training forpastots and church teachers." Additional through what will probably be theworst tragedy of their lives! They need genuine aid; they don't money goes to having children "attend events need missionaries going over there and telling such as Bible camps or clubs 80 that thl.j' can learn more about the Christia..'"! faith." them about hell. I even have personal anecdotes: Mtermaking I'm a Christian and will go out on a limb to defend my faith, bud don'tthink that a child who a donation to World Vision, my parents were repeated~r harassed by W'orId Vision henchmen, has just lost his Of her parents would appreciate a through telephone and mail, to donate rllore fiery evangelist notifying him that his parents are money. They sent us a multitude ofuseless video in hell because they were Muslim or Hindu and tapes, books and other assorted junk tharwe did . thattoavoidthesamefate,he'dbetteracceptJesus! not want. \X'e know full \veil hoY,' ll-ley spend Couldn't we have picked a l:,rroup that atleast their money. pretends to be neutral? It's dear that fimds to My fcllo"" students, is this what you had in Wodd Vision go at least partially to preaching at mind when you donated to the t-sunami relief so··called sinners --- on the contrary, that's n~)r. fund? "That the tsunamivicrims need 11.1: all! How about helping rhe victims instead of 1 hope that the students behind this U\\'J victin:li.zing past donors? drive to funnel money to W O1:ld Vision consider . WorldVisionclaimsthatnearly20percentof how they're taking advarltage of their fellow their revenues are spent on "fund raising and students, - many of whom probably don't administration." That of course brings you the re.alize that the money is being funnelled into endless infomercials doing everything short of Christianity-expmlsion activities. telling you how evil you are if you don't sponsor a child. Eighty-one per cent goes to "program mjohnson@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

An annual survey conducted by lvIen'" FitneJ.f magazine hasnarnedHouston, Texas the fattest city in America for the fourth time in five years. Neal Boulton, the magazine'S editor-indue[, claims that Houston's high humidity, poor air quality and longworhtays helpedit clinch the title - not to mention that Houston has twice the national per· capita average of fast fOod restaurants. "When you're faced with the worst nutritional cilOices, you indulge in those," said Boulton, who also noted tllat four other Texas cities made this years top-25listof chubby cities. Houston Mayor Bill. White, who has worked to promote healthier public school lunch menus, called the survey "mostly voodoo and fr,uid."

Agencies in Chengdu, Chinahave begunrenting women out to bachelors to pose as their girlfriends in time for the upcoming Chinese LtmarNewYear.Forasmucllas300yuan(od36) a day --a third oftheavcrage workingman'ssalru.y in China - the squeezc·f(:>r-hire\\,.ill pretend to be a single man'swife..in-waiting.in front of family mcmber",vho are lliI.&"2)nghlm to settle dov,rf1 and start a family. One such man told somCCl\ he "vas seek-ing the ;;gencr's service because he was "just trying to beagoodson" bycushioninghispatl.rnts' alL-riety for grandcl:illdn:n. Civil affilirS officmh; and sociologists are speaking out againSt the se1~vice; perhaps they EtVour our society, in \?4,fuch rented girlfriends just give you crabs and leave.it at that. mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2005

v s f

ti the organizations, not in the organizations them"" selves. Corporations are not evilin and of themselycs. On Monday,January 24, Feds will be reSW11·ing the free showings of controvcrsial movies with the lefHving special Tbe CorporatioN. 1\ sho\vcase of anti-propaganda propaganda (anyone else sense an internal conflict?), The CorporaCorporations are evil. tion is a fIlm I love to hate - especially as a Such has become the hallmark of the unedupsychology major. cated or those who demonstrate poor use of A highlight of this movie involves a U.S. logic. government specialist performing a diagnosis of Disagree? Let's investigate this further. Let's "the corporation" by using the DSlv[-IY (the compare the corporation to another theoretical Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, fourth edition entity _.... science. \'?e all kno\,' of some form of -- a tool that many psychologists and psychiade1astation that science has helped bring into trists use to diagnose mental illnesses). Yet, the (lUI world- atomic bombs dropped onHiro "specialist" docs not focus his diagnosis on one shima and Nagasaki, for example. Yet, we do not single corporation, but instead takes the worst condemn science as evil. \Ve see the benefits d1at effects of many corporations ..-.- immorality of science has brought to us --- disease prevention, Enron, pollution by Exxon and the like - to global cCHnmunication, paint an incredibly ske\ved picture of the whole. improved shelter from the - - - - - - - - - Is it any surprise then, clements-andit's no sur••• The Corporation is prise that \ve continue to that the "specialist" is able to a film I love to hate conclude that the corporafund scientifkresearch and development with billions tion is a "psychopath"; a de- especially as a of dollars each year. Science ceitful, callous entity that lies psychology major. 15 to human progress. to get what it wants? \\!e Like science, the C01'pOmight as well try to diagnose tationis merely a tool in the .Iookhands of its USI..~·:O:. Some cOt1}{)fHt1O'LlS, like the

BIANCA TONG

Yang Thao and Stone Park prepare sushi extraordinaire at newly opened Wasabi.

New bar opens at s. . . . ~ Alex Doukas

options, including pieces containing eeL '11&::: rnenn inc~udts- su_ch ~~brssi(:!i a~ the

is the \vatel'loo roll, which contaim; ctabmeat,

Ontario's well-known Husky Injectton Moldir,g - serve as leaders in environmental and social responsibility. Many of the groups that have helped bring so much relief to those affected by the tsulli'Ulli disaster are corporations, such as Doctors Without Borders or Save the Children. That doctors have the tools to keep my body. healthy and whole; that I am able to communi·· cate with family halfway around the world; that I have access to the technology to write these very words ._- these are all things that people, working together in corporations, have brought to me. Essentially, a corporation is a tool-- a tool that helps human beings reach their goals. Like Prometheus' giftnf fIre, that tool can be used fot good or for evil, to create or to destroy. The decision on how these tools are used lies in the hands of the human beings who create and run

on The CorporatiON's fllmmakers. Near the close of the movie, they bring in J\fr. Conflicted himself - .Michael J\foore--- to talk about how much money he makes protesting those who make money. 1\ loophole, he calls it, and one that he proudly exploits. I simply wonder how these ftlmmakers sleep at night, making a living by criticizing the very existence of the entities corporations -- that not only help them to survi\'e but also to flourish. But hey, this is a newspaper: we're all about freedom of expression. If fIlmmakers want to make a truly skewed picture, Feds is thankfully offering us a chance nottn have to waste a single cent of our hard-earned money on it. ]anuary24, Humanities Theatre, 8 p.m. adilts@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

sashimi connoisseur. Fans of Scoops, the popular ice-cream shop, can be at ease: Feds President Becky Wroe said that Feds plans to operate both Scoops and Wasabi! simultaneously during the summer term. While the idea of a sushi bar on campus came initially from an outside sushi company, Feds decided to undertake the venture under thc guise of a Scoops-like business. The Feds purchase the sushi A-om Stone's Catering, who produce and serve it on-site. Stone Park, owner of Stone's Catering,.emphasized \"V'asabi!'s commitment to quality and reasonable student-aimed prices. Theeatery'sJapanese fare starts at$3.75 for most single-variety "roll" offerings, with mixed selecrions ranging in price. More exotic varieties of sushi are available beyond the likely

avocado and slTIoked sahnon. The Feds may soon extend the bar's hours,

as demandJor the sushi and sashimi has been considerable. Sushi may also be mad.> for evenings at the Bomber or on Fed nights where dinner is served. Other proposals had been put forward for the space, but according to Feds President Becky \11,'roe, "students had a genuine interest in sushi on-campus." \\?hile Wroe herself is allergic to fish, she "notes, "\'latching them make sushi has actually been an educational experience." She adds, "ifT wasn't allergic to fish, I would definitely eat there." The lengthy queues at the new eatery have prompted inquiries about the possibility of a wasabi- or ed-flavoured ice-cream at Scoops. Information on this developmcnt was not available at press time.

1 . . . - - -_ _ _ _

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2005

hybot er °ving your time?

This past week, those who read the Daily Bulletin got a chance to see the 2004 winners of the President's Circle Award for Volunteerism (peAV). Each year 10 students are recognized, as the official wehpage says, for "significant contributions ... in volunteer wo.rk both within the university and the community at large." The President's Circle is a select group of donors who have made contrihutions of more than $1 ,000 to the university in a given year. From that pot, which topped six million doH:;,;!"s bstycar, each winner receives a $25{) award. The balance of the President's Circle money goes toward other funding priorities on campus. Before 1 begin, kudos to those who won. However, when I read the list of winners, I grew a little suspidous; there was not an ERS or math student in the mix and only one arts student among the 10 recipients. Now mathies I'd understand, they'rc deriving something or playing D&D somewhere. The ERS kids are always stnck in the mud (gOl:tll love ,he field artsl.CS ate

mail Becky \X1roe----ourmtrepid feds presicie'Ut, who sat on the PCA\' committee- - -about the situation. Need-less to say she was a little preoccupied "\v-ith other issues tbj~ -week. She did manage to assure me that, "The selection committee does not make any decisions based on faculty oryC'M, only on volunteer experience."

Now mathies I'd understand, they're always deriving something or playing D&D somewhere. The ERS kids are always stuck in the mud ... Maybe artsies are just stuck-up ... Now the only other possible reason for this distribution might be a lower than usual nun1ber of applicants. Indeed Becky continued laterin her e-mail, "I can't tell you how many applicants there were, but I can tell you there were less tha. . l !ast year due to a

f checked out the application t01U1S the peAv and found a note that 'f't:/\"\' "n', N" ",""-

one who does work "on behalf of or for people, the community, service agencies, student organizations (in other than leadership roles) 01: any -work done to assis t other people and organizations in work that benefits society and the community. It docs not nonnally mean leadership roles at U\"\1 such as Orientation, FOC or Society executive roles." As an explanation for that fInal sentcnce, the note says that U\'V' slUclentleadersarcrecognized elsewhere by other l,\V or Peds action and awards. And just as I -was about to ,vork myself into a bigoted tizzy about the need for equal representation among the faculties, I read the e-mail that Jeff Henry, Peds \'1' education had sent to me (albeit earlier than Becky's reply), "11y -O\\'n impression is that we shouldn't be worried about distribu-cion amongst faculties, but that the awards recognize ll1e significant vol-unteercontributiolls of our students." So I guess the question becomes, can there ever be enough awards handed out? Jeff continued in his email, "Tome, the real story would be the lack of university recognition oEits internal volunteers --- those students who tal,-e leadership roles and help out across campus with enormous dedication of time and effort." In any case, volunteers do it for the

Mark Johnson -----_ .._---,

,,-~-

---_.,-.-_.--

IMPRINT 5T AFF

legal studies program LJ\)Fhas anew legal studies degree program, and demand is already high. Under the program, students can pursue an honours legal studies degree, a f()Ur-year generallcgal studies degree or a joint honours legal studies degree. As well, students have the option of taking one of two areas of specialization, tin;H1cial regulation or personal finance, designed to "address perceived deficiencies in the educa-tional background oft.he largest proportion of law students who continue to come from a liberal arts background," the program's website explains. The idea of a degree-granting program in legal studies was proposed by UW's vice-president academic and provost Amit Chakma, and a follow-up survey of students showed widespread support. The expansion seems Eke a natul'al step in the evolution of the program. Offered for the past 30 years, the studies and criminology option "was ahvays a popular pro-

Engineering symposium Students graduating from U\'X;"s electrical and computer engineering department this year are exhibiting their group projects on \X:ednesday, January 19. The dectl'ical and computer engi--

Gaming for doctors On January 24 you will be able to get a chance to pial' Dr. Mario on the gigantic projection screen il1 the Great Hall. For a small donation, you can play a game against a or compete for the title of "Best Dr. Mario Player on Campu~." See DOCTORS, page 8 .

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neering Design Project Fifth .Annual Symposium will be held at the Davis Centre on campus, from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. As well, a public open house will be held at DC ftom 4:30 p.m. to Sp.m. The 327 students participating in d1e event will present 82 projects in seminar format at the symposium to guests from industry and the academic community. They will also displar design project posters and will be available to discuss their projects_ The symposium presentations \vill cover many forefront techno-logical developments in diverse categories such as entertainment, personal computing, medical devices,' robotics wireless communications and smart homes. The symposium gives Lhese students the opportunity to showcase projects in poster and prototype for-mat as well as presenting them in seminars to external audiences. j\ detailed symposium schedule, including abstracts of each student project, is available at eceprojects.uwaterloo.ca.

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and a handshake is nice once in a while.

School tnatters: law, eng and gram, and the most popular interdisciplinary program," said Fred Desroches, graduating some 60 to 70 students per year. The option v.,ill continue to be offered and courses in the degree program will cover everything from business law and conflict resolution to environmental law and la"\vin the Middle Ages to criminal profiling. Participating departments include sociology, political science, psychology, philosophy, planning, peace and conflict studies, his_toty, environmental studies, English, actuarial science and accounting and financial man- agement. The program has spawned a number of new courses; among them, legal writing and Canadian legal history, as well as introduction to legal studies and int.roduction to crin·linology. Also planned are English courses in litigious literature and convict literature, as wen as future offerings examining intetnational law and Native people and the law. Last fall, legal studies 101 had an enrolment of some 200 students. For more information, contact Prof. Desroches, 884--8111 ext. 221, or at fjdesroc@uwaterloo.ca

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One unidentified Bombshelter patron apparently had a rude awakerting last semester as she lay sleeping in a Bombshelter washroom after the bar had been closed by staff. The date remains unconfirmed, but itis estimated thattheincidenttookplace 1he morning of December 16 -- the momingafterthe last Bomber \Vedncs-day of 2004. "The lime was about 4:30 a.m. when t,vo custodians went into the

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Bombshelter-women's washroom and discovered a woman on the floor", said Tom Galloway in Plant Ops. Attempting to investigate the matter further, l!nptint found little mote than confinnation of the incident. On January 5, UW Police reported thatthis was an "intenlalmatter" and suggested IltlprintcontactNfark Murdoch, director ofmv Food Services. Earlier that \veek,Murdoch had referred the issue to campus bar operations manager Marc Thususka. Thususka's comments \vere brief, not-

il1.gthar"itis an tmfortunateincident ... we are invest-igating the matter." He did not "lish to make any further comments, citing the investigation as "an intemalmattc-r." Ane-mailmessagefrom FedsPresidentBeckyWroe,datedJanual:y3,notcd that "Marc Thususka,t'>lark Murdoch and I \vill send [Impri1l4 aresponsein due time." As of Janllilry 12, no further comment had been received. cioureiro@lmprint.uwaterloo.ca aclilts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

intend!) in_

Continued from page 7

in South Asia and around the world.

Michelle Sabourin and Kevin de Carteret came up with the idea while hanging out in the Turnkey office. They figured rightly that most students grew up in the Nintendo age, and along with it being a wonderful thematic connection, Dr. Mario would be familiar to most students. The event begins at 1 p.m. and goes until 7 p.m. All proceeds will go to M6decins Sans Frontieres (Doctors Without Borders) to aid in their relief efforts

Continuing education courses Face-ta-face courses on a range of business skills-- including "The Art ofInfluencing Difficult People" --- are outnumbered bv online courses about everything from event planning to CGI programming, in the newest catalogue ftom U\V's distance and con-tinuing education oftice. The catalogue, distributed this week, includes courses starting early this winter and running well into the summer. Online courses be!~n every

few \"I/:i,h the first launch date beingJanuary 19. The classroom courses typically run for a day, two days or as long as four days. Severa! are offered more than once over the next few months. Fees range from to $975, with discounts for UW faculty and staffmem bers. For more information, or to obtain the catalogue, visit the continuing education office, c311 them at 888-4002 or e-mail conted@uwaterloo.ca.

- with/ilesfrom the Daily Bulletin

FRIDAY.JANUARY 14,2005

PINI

1mprint is published by Impti.nt Publications

opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

Yeah, I know I'm being naive

The news has been dominated by one issue in the pas t few weeks: the devastation that the boxing-day tsunami unleashed on southern Asia and the resulting donations that poured in from many nations. The destruction and loss of life is more than most of us have seen in our liv~". Hurthe situation is remarkable for

another reason as well. The outpouring ofdonations has oc'Cnimpressivein that eve11'one agreed in the validity of the causeand,vasconcemedwithhavingthe money and supplies reach the people who needed it the most Does it take a disaster of these proportions to convince us all to give so freely? Why can't we always have this concern for our fellow human beings and dedicate our re·· sources to improving the quality of others'lives? Thi~ event was almost completely free ofpolitics. The disaster was caused by mother nature alone and the victims were a mixurre of citizens of the

affected lands and tourists. Only those who had a tall rooftop to take refuge on were really safe from the wall of water that washed in from the sea. It was not until after the donations started to flood in that we heard talk of the Tigers, arebclgroup inSl1Lanka that was said to be attempting to secure some of the donations and take credit forthcirdisttibution. (Check this!) With thisncws comes the usual talk ofuniting differentgroupsin one country, dealing with the politics that come with several ethnic groups vying for power, etc. For the most part though, the situation has been remarkable not only for its scale but for the unity with

which people felt compelled to donate. About 150,000 people lost their lives. Still there are tens of thousands missing. It is difficult to comprehend. How many people must there be who lost family, loved ones or acquaint-· ances? The group ofpeople affected in this way extends around the world. Yet the destruction of man made disasters has the same, albeit not as massive, effect on people. Think of Israel. How many people must there be who have family or loved ones or killed oraffectedbythe ongoingconilictthere? Instead of a world\vide outpouring of aid in response to the violations

ofhmnan dignity that occur in tlus area t,.~ere seems to be an inclination to find

someone to blame. \Ve get caught up in the politics of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict instead ofthinking of the quality oflife for those who live in that area. Is there a way to separate the human suffering from the human politicizing that goes on? Could it ever be possible for people around the world to sacrifice some oftheir own resources to protect the human rights of other people around the world? Or does it take a tsunami and 150,000 dead to gainer such a response? editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

he life and times of a proud fence sitter

Hamlctta, that'll be my new IM nicknatne. Like the Danish princeatld,morc fOlmer presidential candi· date John Kcny, I've been accused of

me, you've probably had enough ofthat discussion. No, instead I'm tattling: Teaci!l!l; he calked me Jimct .ritter'! Egads, I've been called many names, butneverthat. The fence l'maccusedofperchinguponlies between the Liberal and Conservative parties (yes there's a fence---appetizers must be secured). You sec-,l have yet to

ies, v'ideorentalestablishments al1deven agrocery store. Mind you, the appeal of joining a party is clear: it takes time and energy .tb parse the news and decide how you feel abouta given issue·-valuable time that could be spent Stud)'il1g -'.'- or outbidding that eBay-monster, Granny88, on ,vhat wa;c mC""nt to LX: copy' of Dr

acard-carryingmemberofvaUouslibrar-

As a party membertyou're provided

with frequemupdates via mailing lists to tell you exactly how you feel. Referendums?Tcachers?Tobacco?Grandpa?A quick scan down today's e-mail is all it takes to determine your position. Done and done. Ofcourse,I'mexaggerating. Though the e-m'l.ils existarld are skcw(xl toward

ing is the tendency toward polarization and automatically manning a particular position just because it's cOllsistentwilh the more extreme ·views held by one's party's faithful. It's amazing how even smart, informed people can neglect what's impOl't.antin £.'Wourofaknee-jcl'kresponsc,

lx:rs ha'\/c rnind:::~ of their ()\.i/D. 11ut overstatements aside, )vhat's frighten·

S10H.

Though international observers were present and agreed that the elec1iol1s were on theup-at1d-up, thatthe Spanish people had indeed spoken, some sup-porters of "freedom and democracy" vocally announced that "the terrorists had won." It's equally disheartening to see a denundarionofUkraine's recentte-run ek-x:tion (w·idcly acknowledged by interin national observers as h>enerally dircctcontrastto lhewidelycriricizedfirst election) in these pages lastwcek simply because the outcomes happened to please the U.S. (pro-Western candidate Yushchenko defeated Russian-hacked PrimeJvlinister Y,mukov;:ch).

It's painful to watG~ H1C ,m entree·- I weigh the pros and cons of each di.sh (well, the chicken korma sounds tasty but what if there's parsley in the sauce? The eggplant, however... ) and agonize over the decision, even as the menu's wrenched away - no, no,

wait! \V'hile I admit that indecisiveness is a mealrirneliability, I don'tacceptthatit's a negative in terms of social and political issues. Theworld could do \v1th a little mote thoughtful pausing, rather than the reactionary rush to judgement that's ,0 popular. This isn't a segue into a spiel about racism, sexism oranyother-ism (though they're bad, and you shouldn't). It's not a transition into an Iraq wartjrade-like

IIMPRINT !

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WATERLOO

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Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief. l~~ura Karsirdakis editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Assistant Editor, Tim,\lemanciak Cover Editor, Kelley Dilkes News Editor, Bianca Tong News "\ssistant, Rob Bloom Opinion Editor, Jeff Anstett Opinion Assistant, Mark Johnson Features Editor, Scott Houston Features Assistant, Darren Hutz Arts Editor. Dayc George·Cosh Arts Assistant, Ian H1echschmidt Science Editor, Penny Michelle Rorke Science Assistant, Michael L. Davenport Sports Editor, Sarah Allmendinger Sports A.ssistant, Dan Micak Photo Editor, !llohammed Jangda Photo Assistant, Kirill Levin Graphics Editor, Julian Apong Graphics Assistant, Hitoshi Murakami

Friday, January 14, 2005 Student Life Centre U16 University ofWaterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3Gl

VoL 27, No. 22 F:519.AA4.7800 P:519.888A048 inlprint.U\V"dterl.oo.ca

Web Editor, Daniel Ko \\1cbAssistant, vacant Systems Administrator, Javed Iqbal Lead Proofreader, Dean \V11elton Proofreader, Ernie Lau Proofreader, Ruhan Rahman Proofreader, Kaitlin Ojamac Proofreader, Shauna Solomon

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Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Impli"t. ImpriNt may al.so reproduce the material com· mercially in auy format or medium pa1t of the newspaper databa:;e, \'i;eb site Of an)' other prmiucr derived from the newspaper. Those. submilung editorial content. includ· ing ru.udes, krten;, photos and graphics, will grant implillt [ust publication rightc~ of their submitted material, and as stIch, "t,'fee not to subnut the saIne work to any other publiG1.-· l10n or group until such time as the material has bel." distributed in an issue of Imprint, or ltlJ/lrint declares their intent not to publish the material. The Ii,ll text of this agreement is available upon felluest.

'h'

--..-----

See UKRAINE, page 12

to.go.to the lJtprillt omc." . and tillk with the editor-in-ducf gets a prize. lu;priHf is published ev<~1'y Friday during fall and \.vinter ternlS, and ("V~crr second Friday during the spting tenn. ImpriNt reserves the right to screen, edit and refnse adyt'ttising. Imprinr Publications is notrespollsiblc 1(,1' advertisng mistakes oc)'omi the cost of the advertisen1ent. (jne copy per custon1Cr. Imprint JSSN 0706-7380. Jmp,i,,! CDN Pub "fail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122 Next staff meeting: Monday, January 17 12:30 p.m., SLC 1116 Next production night: Wednesday, January 19 5:30 p.m., SLC 1116

Imprint docs not guarantee to publish articles, Impri"t is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an txlitorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, \\1atcrloo, a co!:p01'atiol1 without share capital. Imprint is a member of

photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be pubJislK-d, at the discretion of Imprint, jf that rnaterial is deemed to be libelous or in conttav{''l1tioo with Inprinfs pon"S ,villi rcspt.'Ct to our code of ethic:;

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and jmlITlalistic standard~. ·rhe lirs! pef,on

Next board meeting: To be announced ...

1 s

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14,2005

translates roughly to "1 acknowledge another human being is in my presence." TI1e other two aJT J!,;;:1tftitieJ, and while one could argue bOlh g-ratuirics and platitudes are that doesn't make one the other. If you hold a door open for me, I \vill thank you. It's not a platitude both because I actually appreciate it and not enough people say it. \'Vby is it when I say "hello" to

lJ nless you're in residence or you're a bad roommate, you've probably gone shopping for groceries at least once. I know every time J go grocety shopping the same thing happens. I get to thc checkout HI! How and the cashict says, ARE YOUJ)"Hello! And hu\v are \ you today?" "ARGH!"I repiy. "Do you lIetHal/;, care anl, or are you sa ring that to fill

Actually, I don't say that. Saying that would make me an ass. Bud )WllttO, every single time. (S)he just used what's known as aplatit1!rie, a phtase that's used so often that an meaning has been diluted from the words. The words ate mouthed 111erely because they ate expected. Bet()te we go any farther, let's get one thing straight: "Hello," "Please" and "Thank you" are not platitudes.

people on campus, they'll say, "Heyl How arc you?" even though we're walking opposite directions and it's clear neither of us intends to have a prolonged conversation? Just onc!', I wantto stop and say, ''Terrible. 1have a bladderinfecrion."Nodoubthilatity

words still mean something. "Hello"

Then there's a whole.retofplatitudes

ity!

It's not just the alien hordes that are invading our realm" ...

rhatgetregularly launched at those poor souls who work in public service. one who's evenvorll:edat aiJ10cery store, restaurant, ora big-box storeis intimately familia.r \vith these. "\\'o.rking hard or hardly working?" "\\/ben you're done mopping that floor, can you conle and do mine?" Ifl hadapenny forevery time Ihcard these, 1'd put 'em all in a big sock I used to playa fair number of compuand htmt down all the mouth-breathers ter games, back before university prowho have ever said that to me. "You're fessors decided that spare time \vas not funny! You're i entirely detrimental to my education. not witty! Just \Vhile not overly interested in the vari路 shut up!" lwould ous consoles available, I did enthusiscream as I lunge astically participate "lith my friends in at them \'\lith my games of Counter-Strike, EverQuest, sock full of pen. Star \11/ars and many othrues. ers. 1\lost of my friends It may seem were all computer gceks like I'm comof one brand or another plaining about so itwas all butinevitable nothing, but that I fall into rhe expenthese banal resive trap too. marks penneate Aside from nmnil1g every level ofour out of spare time, one of society. Allowme the main reasons why I to illustrate: stopped playing many of Platitudes HiTOSHI MURAKAMi these games, especially pass as advice. Counter-Strike, was due "I'm ~rure you did okay?' has never to the rapid decline in the comforted any university student in mentality of the players I the history of~ well, university. The last was combatting. It came time it worked as consolation was to the pointwhere I could when Xenaphon said it to Plato, who hardly move without someone declarwaS worried he just flunked Socrates' ing "OMG!!!! You fag! That was midterm. It hasn't worked since then. sooooo gay!!" Ofcourse, the vast maSee PLATITUDES, page 13

onservatism: more than just politics? Some liberals are taking the debate to a personal level

Since the election of George W. Bush and the creation of the new Conservative Party of Canada, the perception that the conservative political alignment is not a simple academic position but rather an entire

way of life has spiraled out of conlitical future. All conservatives are not Christrol. tians -not anymore than all liberals Some examples that have irked me: are gay. Are liberals guilty of - gasp - Images were circulated on the - stereotypillg conservatives? Internet describing the lower half of Oneof the strongest planks of the liberal movement is acceptance - of the United States as "Jesusland." - A website called Marry An everyone but Christians, white peoAmerican was created to save "norple and conservatives, that is. Indeed, when I have conversamal" Americans from the apparent tions with liberwrath of Christian Republicans. als, they often tell lne, "Ifyou don't - An indilike it, leave." vidual I met reSome liberals cendy whose first That makes me believe that criteria for friendfeel all warm, ship was that they fuzzy and acconservatism is not subscribe to cepted, guys. a doctrine while Dare I use an"any of tllatrightwmg conserva-other of the libliberalism is tism." erals' favorite strict critical buzzwords ---- The smear di.rcnmillafirJll ---campaign against thinking. StockweHDayand against them? Stephen Harper Some liberals believe that conthat made them out to be religious zealots. servatism is a doctrine while liberal-- The subsequent use of the term ism is strict critical thinking. As one "Alliance" as in "Alliance Conservahigher-up in the Liberal Party of tives" to assign "evilness" (read: reliCanada put it to me during a discussion about the Republican movegious zealot) to others. As a progressive and an atheist, ment (paraphrasing), "This ChristChristians confuse me as much as mas, more than half the population the next person. But I am slightly of the United States \vill be going to shocked that liberals, Liberals, demochurch. That's half the population on crats and Democrats of all stripes a common doctrine. Imagine thatl" have resorted to last-ditch efforts See IDEOLOGY, page 12 like the above to preserve their po-

that they were more right than usual. Believe it or not, the realm of "geekdom" is not one reserved only for the great straight hordes. When the vast majority of the protagonists of today's computer games are all but dripping sexual masculinity (Gordon Freeman, anyone?) is it really any surprise that we enjoy playing them, too? Recendy, however, the level of"gayness" involved in computer games has expanded beyond the pitiful epithets of the pre-pubescent and the orientation of a minority of the players. The game that made headlines first was an RPG called The Temple ~l E/e1flentaIE~il, which allowed its players to "save" a characternamedBertrarn from his evil pirate master, if they

wanted. If tIle player decided to take on Bertram, he would show his by following around one of the main male characters of the group and the two of them would then live happily evel: after (wen, after they'd all finished killil1goffvarious orc hordes, that is). This, to no great surprise, is causing some people's tighty whities to bunch up 1.'1 something akin to dismay: why should a market dorninated by straight white males pander to anyone else? Simple: profits. Video game companies are slowly realizing that there are more to their followers then the

majority audif they can come out first \vith a game that makes waves by including a minority character, th~ of that minority --interest enough to atleast try the demo. As any marketer would tell you, that's the battle won right there. The Tell/pie ojEfcmelltaJEvilis notthe only game out there to have same-sex relationships hidden wid1in its deptl1s for the player to find. Star U7ars: Tbe Knightr of the Old Republic, which was named as the 2003 game of the year by everyone from CNN to PC Gamer, also featured a short same-sex attraction, one femaleJedi professing her love for the player-controlled female character; however the issue in dlts game was unresolved, as the game comes to its conclusion shordy thereafter. See AVATARS, page 12

ELUTION No wonder this pedometer was on sale.

FRIDAY. JANUARY 14, 2005

ATS AUTOMATION TOOLING SYSTEMS INC.

o par y urs If!

Every student,vho btings a car to campus,villone day in their scholastic careers have a beef ",,>ith Parking Services. It's inevitable-路- much like waiting in line at 8 p.m. on the first Bomber night or releasing a "silent but deadly" emission during a lecture, Parking Services ",,1.}1 one day irritate you. Wnat many students do when faced with this intolerable rage (if you're among the lucky oncs who haven't experienced this rage, picture getting punched in the nose while your foot gets run over the tow truck that is lOwing your car awayyou're impotent) is write alettcrto the editor. Some complain about how students pay inor路路 dinate amounts of money to park in lots that still Knight be filiI when they get there because they are "pay as you go" lots. Some complain simply because there aren't enough studcnt lots. It's no surprise that I am currently mad ,,,1.th Parking Services. They lie, they deceive and they do not conduct business fairly for students (Ifyou say you're going to void the damn tickets, void the damn tickets!) Huwevcr, instead of writing a rant on how mad I an1 with Parking Services and how ridiculous their parking system really is for us, I'm just going to \vrite dmvn a few in~tanccs ofho\'\' I've cheated thc1rsystenl. Hit: the past four wiotcxs, when it snows

parking pass. Never once havel gotten a ticket in this situation. I beJie\"e I have saved 111 possible tickets this \\'ay. \1;!henever fijends visit, J get tllem to buy a one night parking pass (1 don't buy a pass). \'Z'e hoth park overnight in <L parking lot and I get ticketed. J get my friend to give me the temporary parking pass and I go to parking services to complain that I \\lrongfully got a ticket. I get the ticket voided. (As an aside, beware of bringing friends from other schools and letting them get tickets because ther don't go to our school and doo'thave to pay. They keeprecordsandifthatcargetsticketedmorethan two or three times, they vlill get towed.) By the math building there is one parking spot with no sign; right behind a dumps tet -- - I must have saved at least $350 in parking tickets by patkingthere during a co-op tetm. Take advantage of it. As far as appealing tickets goes, it helps to cite an extra-curricular activity. At first, don't flliouta tedious appeal fi)fm; ifyou play the sympathy card (like you're a SOC exec and you needed to unload materials fora charity benefit you were putting on and you sprained your ankle in the process and you're impotent) they will listen. Obviously by prinring these tricks I am aware that I might have ruined it for the restofus. That's why I only disclosed the mediocre ones _. there are so many more, someone ought to compile a secretlist that only students can access, so more of us can take advantage of them (but not c'Veryone atonce).Butifyou'rereally looking for an alterior . motive, 1 take solace in telling UW-on my lasaerm here how I've bamboozled and gotten a'\vay with it. I can only hope there are stu.:1ennl out thct"e ,vim ft1x:' ~l.h'o

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Analyzing UW student government

not always obvious to the casual obthe Federation of Students executive has been hard at work since taking office last May. daily responsibilities of the YP euu.. cation are eyen more difficult to notice than those of mv colleagues. Dealing '\v1th government results takes both time and consistent effort. I work with the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA) and the Ontario Under gtaduatcStudcntAlliance(OUSA)--thefederal and the provincial studentlobby groups that we, as UW, <Lfe part of: to help have our voice heard. To aelvis,: me on the educationalissues that Feels, CASA and OUSA deal with, Students' Council appoints an education advisory cornrnittee. \\;'ith the committee setto go again, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what we have been and will be doing about the education issues that aiTectyou. As mandated by hstyear's Students'Council, the committee \vas to evaluate our membership , in C I\S;\in order to determine whether we should remain members. There have been questioDS of leadership, policy and can1paign direction, raising the issue of whether or not our money was wcllspent. Thus, it referendum on the issue was held last March. Unfortunately, it did not meet the quonun requited to pass. The committee spent weeks during the fall looking through CASA documents, the strategic ~etvCf.,

plan and many other documents as part of this effort, seriously evaluating. where it had come from and whereitwas going. Councillors Fishbein, Hayle, and Borrelli路-- thelatterwas amemberof rhe referendum "No" committee -- as well as student-at-large Kate Daley, wrote the recommendations ofthe report. Harle had also attended the organization's lobby conference in November along with President \Vroe and mysdf, \\1th the purpose of evaluating CASt'i.'s effectiveness in lobbyinggovemmem on policy ,md in concluding its fall campaign, Ii.1e [n the end, the committee reponed back to council in December as scheduled, ullanimously recommending that we remain pan of the orga!lization and that the committee continue providing oversight in the future. It also had sevcraLrecommendacions for CASA. The hlli report can be found 011 the Feds website under "Docmnents." This tetro, we turn our focus to Feds' edUGllion policies. \\/ith the Bob Rae ..led review ofpostseconciaryeciucarion condudit1g\\1.thin the month, there will be an unprecedented opportunity to draw media attention to the plight of our postsecondaty education system. OUSA has already submitted a substantial brief to the reviev,.-, calling for greater funding and controlled tuition \vith a fn;ed student financial aid system, available at w\vw.abrightfuture.ca. Feds also submitted a brief to the Rae review after a fomm and a Students' Council meeting. Now we work to solidify our thoughts on funding, tuition and t1nancial aid, as Feds policy. I invite all of you to participate in the debate and to get engaged in the review. Our bright future through higher education depends on it. -Jeff Henry

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Ukraine: why the

TALES FROM THE SEX SHOP

need to suspect the

United States? Continued from page 9 ['m no strangerio LJ.'.\Kl/,iH~ but 'Nhc11 one rotten in the S,ate of Denmark. !11 both of these elections -- not to mention

pany biases and pre-set

not and the need to defend the

deology: not necessarily party-specific Continued from page 10 Look out, folks, Christian zombies are coming to get you on orders from their mllsters.

The aforementioned quotation has a strong whiffofacademic superiority. '111e unspoken line at the end is: "Good thing I have a brain in my head capable ofperfonningcritical thinking!" Yeah, right. Liberalism is a doctrine too. The

church ofliberalism teaches irresponsibility and the reflection of problems onto others. Thereare many academic reasons to beconservarive that have nothing to do \vi.thlifestyle or religion: -~- Conservatives understand what a seniorTD Bank executive cited a few nights ago on MSNBC: Europe needs to loosen labour laws to encourage economic growth. - Conservatives also understand that not all

vatars: allowed to form same-sex relationships Continued from page 10 also jumped onto the band\v;tgon in perhaps themOSl spectacular style, allowing its avatars to fonD same-sex relationships, even 2.t the "teenager" stage. Same-:;ex families were adopting children, having "union ceremonies" and lnaking '''.vou-hoo'' in the bed or hot tub. Amazing as it may these cou-pies' virtual neighbours really don't mind at all. Of course, 6:)r the nlst majoritr

conflicts can be resolved peacefully and, as such, defenceless pacifism is foolish. But even with such "academic" reasoning, the personal loathing of conselvatives will likely continue. We can only hope for the day when liberals stop considetingconservatives to be lesser human beings. \Ve're people, too. talevesq@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

at least reference D;vice in one Coulter despite her rather hostile relat\<onshtP with facts, logie, 'fhat's certainly a part of it. But 1 don't begrudge you patty--indined-in fact, you can still feel superior since I also have a selfish reason for being party-less: as a fence sitter, I've the luxury oflooking to my right and left each day, ascertaining which side is being most preposterous, and then mocking them mercilessly. And when I can't decide? I mock both, such as by quol-ing PJ. O'Rourke: "Democrats are the party ofgovemment activism, the patty that says g~JVCrn!}l{~nt can

SllYl.rret"

and get the chickweed out of yow: lawn, Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it. "* *A slmplifiedAmerican--to--Canadian translation: the Democrats equal the Liberals and the Republicans equal the Conseryatives ... only not reaUy ... in fact, scratch that. slywong@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

now we play... The Cryitlg Game. hehe

sexual orientations of the characters really' don't Does it matterwhatI"a am Croft up to whcn she's not rolTl_bs?Ho\v

gbarGiay@imprinLuwaterloo.ca

mean...

FRIDAY, JANUARY 1/1,2005

I Platitu,des: n01se used to fill the air Hail to the Queen no more To the Prime Minister Paul Martin has recently performed an action which should. be cause for concern for any Canadian who cares about the state of this nation and its worldwide image. :1\1r. Martin announced that the name of Her Majesty the Queen would be removed from the diplomatic accreditation process. What, then,is the major concern? The problem is twofold. First, by making this announcement at a time when the newsmedia's attention is diverted to majorworld events, Mr. Martin has prevented his action from becoming common knowledge. Therefore, there has been little, if any, opposition in government or by the public to whatwould almost certainly be an unpopular move. Most actions the monarchy in recent years have been defeated in the arena of public opinion.1vir.Martin and his cabi.net know this and so .mustmanoeuvre as discreetly as possible in what many observers believe to be a quest to tum Canada into a de facto republic. They are changing this cOtmtty under tlle public's noses. The second major concern is the message that thi.s sends to tlle international community. They are being given the impression that a change has been made to Canada's Constitution when there in fact, been no such change. As it is, the diplomaiic community understands iliat Queen Eli7.aberh is the Queen of Canada and so all diplomacy carried out by the Governor General, government ministers, or diplomats from Canada

is done inHerMajcsty's name. For an exampie of tbis, look at the inside cover of a Canadian pass port. There, an inscription reads "The Sectet:.c'1J:), of State for External Affairs of Canada reguests, in the name of Her Majesty the Queen, all those whom it mar concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance... " This, as with all other diplomatic messages is communicated in the name of the Queen because I:ler Majesty is the neutral third party in Canada's government structure, rising above partisan politics and speaking for all Canadians. This, therefore, also applies to Her Majesty's representatives. The fear is that without mention of the Queen, foreign diplomats may gain the impression that something has changed in Canada and that Canadian diplomats now represent the interests only ofthe ruling party which fotn1s the government of the day and not the whole country. Mr. Martin has robbed Canadian diplomacy of the source of much of its legitimacy. All those who are rightfuUy concemed about the Prime Minister's action are urged to write to their Member ofParlianlent and voice their displeasure.

- Christopher Tucku.'Ood 2B Mediewi Stlldies Marriage defended

To the editOl; I was disappointed with Serena \Xiong's January 7 column dismissing thc' conservative vicw of marnage.

She asks, "\'{'ho onvhat is 'traditional definition [of marriage]?," hut senTS up ridicule in place ofanex1Jlanation:.tlf.any conservatives who oppose gay marriage do notsubsctibe to the generally held vicwthat beingamore petwissive society is somehow automatically superior ...- it is the \1;'idening of the definition that is felt to be threatening, as it sets a precedent for the government to interfere inwhatwas previously a religious matter. Down the road, will the same equality arguments be used to accommodate marriat,l"C to "intergenerational partners" as well, so long as they're consensual and loving? \1011:1t about when a couple would like a "newmarrrage" in a church or mosque that doesn't perfOJm iliem? Most of the objections come from those with moral standards outside "the fashion of ilie day", thatis,grounded in a religious text such as the Bible or Qur'an. Interracial marriage is the only one of iliose changes mentioned that has occurred in the last five-hundred years and, altllough I can't speak for others, Christianity has nothing to say about racesintetn1arrying~- that's another moral 拢'15hion that has disappeared in due course. If the phrase "traditionalman:iati'e" casts one's view on ilie matter in an unfavourable light, then by all means, use adifferentone. However, forthose who upheld '.vhatwas the status quo, it was a valid expression of their position. I applaud Ms. Wong for tackling this extremely contentious issue, but please, in tl1e future, more research and less appeal to emotions and slog.ms.

Continued from page 10 Platitudes arc used by salespeople. A lot. \Xl1cn I was buying my ceErhone, I had already decided on a model, but I actuany wanted to see it first. \X'hen J was hokling it in my hot little hands, the salesperson actually used the line, "So, how would you like to walk out of here \vith that phone today?" He couldn't understand why I started laughing, but wouldn'tY0tJ start laughing if someone lnoorly) delivered a line like that? It's the oldest sales cliche in the book! He might as well called himself"honest Ed" and used ilie word "friend" a lot. Salespeople using ilie word "friend." Y eah, th{/t~f a platitude for you. Platitudes ate used as an. easy way to end relationships. Lines like ''You're in this thing more than I am" or "I think of you as more of a friend" are often found here. If you don't like me because I have a nasty laugh and I smell like asiago cheese, I'd rather hear thai. Finally, platitudes are ovelUsed in politics. Besides pandering to the people, it seems to me that the role of the opposition party is to criticize anything the party in power says or does. (I really enjoyed watching the dance of Ernie Eves and Dalton 1\kGuintya couple ofyears back.) 'W11ile everyone else was criticizing Dick Cheney for dropping the f路bomb last year, I was just happy it wasn't another vapid political platitude. Platitudes more than anything else are what bring tlUth to the adage, "Quiet people aren't the only ones \vho don't say much."

--MiktPunir 1.4

rndavenport@imprinLljWaterloo~Ga

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Sing That Yell That Spell makes 8n impression at Grad House - page 11

lores t e

ian Blechschmidt

nalistora photographer ... aboutproc

IMPRINT STAFF

e5S and how art is made."

:\[arshall \\Card has a fascination with "behind the scenes." f-lis first film, 2003's He/Jiml tbe' Robe, documented the rardy -heralded profession of nude life modelling. In his new film, LOI'c frill

prerniering next wed: at the Princess Cinema, \\'ard takes his audience inlo the studio withJ ay Semko orrhe N otlhern Pikes to catch a glimpse it aP gets done. \'.~a, made out of a labour of ,j 1998 alumni frorn fine ,1ns pl'ograrnc "I grew up a llccnager in Ihe 19ROs -~- a Imgc fan of the Northern Pikes ... and rYe been a fan of them. 111\ whole life." \\ \c with his fihn crew (i\Iiduel Scro and Bill spent

"the tlrstsong fi,m:l Scmku\ upcoming solu release. The tilm, which \'Card likens to of art. ''I'm an artist nwsdf," explains

amlng

ofthe "gamer" has moved different phases over the pac;t few \~cars. Initially, it \yas mostly resct\~ed and people \\~ho leave their hOlIS,'S. For a brief 6r1"1(" galDers \ycrc Yie\\~cd as rna1l\~

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It's \\ard's de, ire 10 share his curithat inspires him to document things that are often overlooked in thc arts communit\". "I belic\T thatthe role of an artist is to share, and tbat's \yhat I wan no do," sars \\'ard. "\\,i,h BcI)iild I/;, Rote, I \"as kind of sharing rhis emTIonment, sharing this s tor\, of these peoplcwho do life modeling ... itwas kind ofhke pulling back thc curtain ... And I think this is \'en' much in that \~ein in the sense where rYe kind oflet the viewer or audience inside a studio, which thcy're normaih to. "

Doing so presented a te\y challenges to \\'atd and his C1TV\. As is often the

case with independent film art in aconcenL \'Clrd crellir,CKCOT\' for the film through their Script Pruic",tTk',lr Grant. "\\'ithout grarn wouldn't ha\'e thc n1Onn' to make [the fllm)." In addition, there were certain ob· stacks that cropped up a, a result of the filming in sm~ dio. "You're trying to be almusl inyisible within that emirunment," \\'ard tr:'ln~~ TO clptU1"C the ll1uStc t11at's madc at the moment. And trying to

COURTESY MAfiSHALL WARD

Jay Semko and his approach to song writing are the subject of Marshall Ward's latest film. into an isolation booth .. for that first liEn Robe!, because it gave me the shUs and to

Hk the way." LOl'e IFill Set) '011 FI'" ~-."

Smlleo:

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hirnselC prmidingauchence members with a unique see both

ianb@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

it's not just for gee s anymore vicious psychopaths as a result of the Columbine massacre and other violent crimes comrnitted by people who just happened to play video games. Finalk, we have arrived at an era where gaming is as viable of a hobby as watching 1110yies. In fact, the Enter~ tainmem Software /\ssociation recently fuund surptisingresult:; from a srud\~ uf802 adults. It turns out that ~'9 gamel's exercise or pial' sports for an ayerage 0[20 hours per month. per cent of those: reponed an

average of 5.4 hours per month. From these statistics, and also the blistering popularity of Halo 2, gamers are clearly a growing target audience. As games are becoming more accepted into the mainstrearl1, charitable organizations arc finding gaming to be an excellent war to donations and increase imer·· es t in their Our own campus is even beginning to adopt video games as a sort of "benefit concert" chafin'dri\T. T\\'o :.ticheile Sabuurin

and Kevin de Carteret are putting togethcr a massive Dr. Mario play session that will take place on Jar1U~ afr 24 in the Great Hall. They are raising moncy for ;\Iedecins Sans Fromicres (Doctors \\'ithout Borders). Mario's a doctor, too, so it makes sense. In light of recent t1'<1g eciies, i\il'decins Sans Fromicres could USt: nmr help. For a small nm

thc evil, megalomaniacal EA \,·;\S kind enough to donate four multiplayer games for the caust:. a cruwd·~dra\\' ing actiyity, butit also ser\'es to bring people

\yho can stack mulli~ coloured Ui" who has the.: m<ld

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multicoloured Engineers \\'ithout Borders is holding a similar driye on campus. 1t \\'ill take place on Februar)' 4, likely in the\fath lounge. ;\10re derails \'~ill become available closcr 10 the date. holding an open on :\10nchw, 17 at 12:30 in "The Comfy" for interested in helping out. The idea of rhe drive is ,and also to increase ness of their efforts oyerseas. EYcn

of entertainlTlenr. It's imeracti\T and while tdeyision and movies sap your energy and rnake ron into a \,"archer. Sure,it encuurages cornersarion aftef\yards, but llhimateh' YOU \\'astc the time spent watching, espc ifit's So in pracric;e up on your Dr. ,\lario so it's l10t as C<lS\~ for 111e to \\"In.

taiamen@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

FRIDAY.JANUARY 14,2005 4D

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Sing That 1ell That Spell live up to the hype Dave George-Cosh

ensembles 1 play with. So the context

IMPRINT STAFF

of the ensemble and the musician tends to determine ho\\' each piece is

Last at the Grad House's biannuai "GradStock," a silent hush fell amongst the crowd as Stratford-based band Sing That Y ellThat Spell walked up to the stage." \11 old cliche states that the only problem \vith first itnpres-5ions is that FlU only get onc-- and the tirst impression you get from ST',{TS is utter chaos. But that's not neces sarily a bad thing --- if an:nhing, it gets your attention to find out exactly just what rhe jilek is going on. Formed from the warm ashes of STYTS is comprised of Colin Fisher, on dmms and Tim Nicholls on bass, the band melds the fusion of jazz and inclie rock so well til at it has gottcn the atten lion of more t.hen .t few local fans. Fisher explains, "The reaction has been pretty amazing most of the time. I don't eXpEct to appeal to cyeryone; ",,,,,,·."iqll,, playing music that doesn't easy strategies to understand its context or harD1onic/rhyrhmic architecture. Response to the record has been

transformed. (~enerally 'with ST)~rs we tend to improvise in clifferentwa\'s than a ensemble ,vcmld. Instead of improvising m'er changes \'.-e rend to improvise over Yamps, modal vamps or sorne more general changes whereas with a jazz or improv ensernble the tendency towards using the changes as a harmonic framework for irnprovisingwould be greater." Having such a unique and un-radio friendly sound ,vould suggest that Fisher and his bandmates have had an uphill battle to get their sound heard. "Our nlUsical concepts are often very angular and fragmented, so just trying to thrive playing creative music in an industry that awards musicians 'who create derivative formulated nonsense isn't ahvays easy. Sometimes people really don't get where we're coming from. Our music can be a lot to digest in the quick low-attention span culture everyone is so entrenched in. But we're certainhnot aiming at beingelirist, V.T just have our O\'/n wa\' about doing things. So its been harder for us because we

Sing That Yell That Spell get into the groove during a recent performance at the Grad House, "\\' e aren't pretending to be anything. This culture is obsessed with forrnulated/ factory art and we're here to express the more human qualities in music. \\'c play music thatis raw and lntcnse --- whether you like it is up to \'OU."

heen inyoh.-ed in Huking his sound. a song idea I have for 5T'1'1'S clinid initially be al1 idea for a number of improvised or jazz

hunked up with some :;oEd individunotahh- t he Furd Phm ISilenr Film Soundtrack, that ha-~,:-c gi ven us so rnuch help.

als ;wd

implodes

their , real punk side, Tracks like "I Know" punctuate punk lyrics wi th \lvailing and grinding guitar riffs. "\'{'e /\1] Fall Dc)\,Vn" follows it as a slightly softer and more vocal heavy tune, but still retaim the thread of punk. I cannot dispute that The SI011 IS a talented band. The': just Their sound is difficult to place and changes from track to track. It's ahIlost like a train

Black Tape The Explosion Virgin

lUi like J ,;nwJi nrc in f!1\- kitcben ratll_ct rhan )H.~' 'Tbe tracks ;Hl actual ha\'c a '+\.fcaJ oftrachriona.1 hardcofc

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black hearts of sorne r()ckt~rs.Ies too bad [hat t.hese rockers 21fcn"'r ex talented. rnakcs a dc·cent dr1v-..

ragc. 'J"heir

the aforementioned Silent F'ilm Soundtrack, arnongst others. dgeorgec@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Social Disiorriun. J t ,_hodd be noted that there are of the afurnlemioned Social D in their suund. Scnne tracks shine ~dJo\,t' tbe mixture f~tCLt and 50111C

fires sriE SOrnn\'fUlt \rou kno\\·~ in thar little gm," kind

there

Tim Alamcnciak

465 PHILLIP STREET LOCATION ONLY LIMiTED TIME OFFER

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2005

" t h e W1nner

· ....~ lS

The hazards of fmding the best

I hate ranking films. I love ranking 61m8. I JUSt can't seem to decide which it is - probably won't ever be able to. Everyone's a critic, especially inregatds to something as widely available and easy to lU1derstand as film. No doubt eyeryone reading this has been e1.1x)sed to mOv1es from birth. Since we've all been "iatching them tor so long, it's very easy to take them, and the e ffortthat ,vent into making them, for

Jr'; simple for us to say, from the comf"()1"t ofour couches or padded thea·ttc seats, thal a movie is "the best" or "the ,,,-or5t," but it's some\vhat harder

to explain why. It's even harder to provide good e..xamples ofwhen something was done right. And so, we turn to the ever present tanking systems -- The Oscars, dle AFllists, the Golden Globes. Okay, so maybe nobody turns to the Golden Globes, but the point is that we never tire of declaring, "This one is the best of all." '\11d why shou1dn'twe? But, then, can ,ve ever really be sure? 1 just can't seem to de6de which it is --- probably won't ever be able to. This is why I find it so tough to rank t1lrns. Ask me to pick my "Top 10 Favourite Mov'ies ofAn Time" and I'll probably black om ftom indecisiveness. The biggest problem I haye in calling a single film "Best of the Year" or "Best of All Time" is the filet that, really, it's not fair. The thing that complicates the matter is genre. Traditionally, more

Our top 10 f1lms of the year "serious" f110\1e5 are giyen rnore respect. I don't entirely agree with that. Wlu1.tthis means is that it's virtually impossible lor somedlinglike a comedy, an action film or a fantasy movie to be consideredgreat at the time ofits re1ease. I'm stiUstunned, and yery proud, with Rdum ollbe Kit{;fS Oscar sweep last year. Itisn'tusuallyuntil l:Th111Y years later that people look back and say, "So it may have been a comedy, but it's also a drunn good ftlm." For example, I don't doubt that I\Iike Nicols' The Gradlfate(R,o see ClOSeT now!) was considered a fantaslic film at the time of its release. \,,{"hile it did do yery\vell for itself at the time, it'was also what you'd classify as your standard comedy I coming-o f-age movie, and those arc hardly ever "great." And yet, now, nearly 40 years after its initial release, 'fbi! GrariurJte proudly sits at number seven on AFI's Top 100 Films list. \\'hat I'm trying to say here is that you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss a movie from being great ififs of anontraditional genre. \\110 knO\vs how sometl1ingwill be considered five, ten, or fotty years from no\v. I suppose all we can do is point out the stuff that interests us and hope that others agrce. But then, I don't kno\v what I'm talking about. Wait, no, I know exacdy what I'm talking about. I iust can't seem to decide - ptobabl y \V()fi't ever be able to. fvukcevic@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Filip Vukcevic IMPRINT STAFF

This has been a great year for movies, comedies and dramas in particular. After a rigorous voting process we have managed to nano,,' dow-11 our favourites to the follmeving list. And so, presented here in no particular order, we have Imp/in/trl picks for the top ten movies of the year. Each and every oneofthescisamustsee, and while some of them are no longerplayingin theatres, rulY one \YoulcJ make a great rental.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I was alitrle skeptical about watching a drruna starringJinl Carrey, but I ,,-as pleasantly surprised. Kate Winslet as Clementine 'was \-ery eclectic, playing opposite a subdued Jin1 Carrey as Joel. If you're sick of teen drllmas, Etema/ .'iuns/Jillt is a great chrulge of pace.

--- L.{J/inn Fox,

",'J1>',rmmo

fl.kltJ,:w/il

Faqrenheit 9/11 Scrurinizingthe accountability ofthe Bush administration p05t9-11 and Op eration Iraqi Freedom, director l\lichael I\Ioon; presents hi~ most provocative film to date. The most powelfu! images he c,'1ptures are the juxtaposition bet\.vecn the choices made by the presidc."nt and ho,vth05e choices directly affected the lives of patxioticAmericans.

-_. rulik,l B:t!s.wdJ, l/ojlfllkerCf!Ordiltattir

Man on Fire Denzel \\'ashingtonisiiterally on tire in this. \\'d1, he doesn't burn hirnsdf, hut he does bum dO\Vll a lot of thing'S. He torches cars, a night club, a president of a brotherhood that protects cormpt cops .... yeah, he burns a lot of things. TIus moyie is aptly named. \Vhcther you're fiery on the inside or not, you should watch this movie. -- EniicLlf!, i:'n)otl"mkr

The Incrcdibles This is without a doubt the ani· matedrnovie ofthe year. This is a prime exan1ple of howwe are moving ahead in aniination. Not only were the ~haracte.rs well-developed, but the voice actors suited them perfecdy.

Scott HONStOll,

Fed/tit)'';

Editor

Meet The Fockers Ben Stiller carries on the l1-adition of

AJeeube Pmt:lItJas Gaylord Fockerin this sequel to the surprise hit. The movie somehow mamll-,7Cs to make a joke inyolvinga fondue potand a petrified piece of foreskin. This star-studded comedy may not earn an Oscar, but it was defi.nitely the funniest movie this )Tar.

JctI/iNJtetf,

L~fjt()r

Harry Potter and the PI1.S0ner of Azkaban Luckily for us, the l1J':\V director brought a unique dimension to the franchise. "D1<1.nkJiilly, the moviedepicted the novel well and included all of the was magical and extremely fun!

-- Kd!~y Diikts, COIU Editor Napoleon Dynamite I can't remember the last time I've laughed so hard in a movie theatre. 111is is easily the surprise hit of the summer, and deservedly so. Tne best praise 1 can give this film is thatI can'tremembexthe l'1st time a character, in this case Napo leon, has been so imitated since the Dr.Evil/Austin Powers impressions of yore. Gosh! ---- Filii) Arts C{}!tmmisf

Garden State This Bim, like Zach BratTs sitcorn is absurd, but in a good sort of war. The filmmay be ap dy describeJ as both too fcmur to beintel1\(,'t'l1t, a.l:ld too intelligent to be fUfmy. Iris precisdythis contradiction ,vhich makes the Blm so wonderful.

Spider-Man 2

PreS&lt 5 product packi~S from iny !)etltylit" prolil.id when voo1m buylng YOllr ski 11ft Jicl\et from any OJ the partidpcrtll1:'J sid hills and you cuuld 9ft

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ll1e sequel to Jpirirrcj!l/I/ may be one ofthe tcwm<.wics toacI11allyimprove on its predecessor.ltfeamrcda bettersc'recnplay written by award-winning author Michael Chabon (lJ7oh'der Bo)'.I), better perfoflTllmces finmrctumingsmrs Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dmlst,and a better villain in Doctor Octopus as played by Alfred Molina. Even if you didn't enjoy the first one, the St:quel is definitely worth "\vatchi..<1g.

OsMwa Sl!j Club. Orono. ON '1ii<! I'!W\,I,i!4!!Iy1W~.t'-'lj t<M_"l!1ln.

100 PURCHASE RECESS4R'i; PmmGw.:--:mf PNiOO; Ikc;:rnbY;ro. Z(IO.1 thf~ Man:t Ii, 2005 iit 1~ N ttl). \~i5it w\'1>1.{iJ,mYflecmrte;l'uom if) wter tN: thmtiW!~1<"Hwt uptlli! t1i"lf'ProrMtlen""v,1 Swe~.?llts.Cru-l£ct anw.."'f to s~mlesttmJl$ieWofl!'flU.<iml.S!."4<wtbsite t«fu!! prml!\W~al!:;'.1im Off'kil!! RIl~,

-- Darren lititZ. ASJisltl1lt Fta[zlra Editor

Harold & Kumar Go to Wlute Castle

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Harold and Kumar ,vas the greatest

Indo-Korean buddy pic ever! ,-,- limPJt/; RallJad},1IIdnm) Former Liaison

FRIDAY.JANUARY 14, 2005

Mixtape madness Ian Blechschmidt -~----------------.----'"--

iMPRINT STAFF

Everyone's life needs a soundtrack. For the tender moments, the scary moments, and all the moments in between, if you are any kind of sane, well-adjusted person, music needs to be playing in your head at all times. The follmvingare some of the songs, all stolen frommotion picture soundtracks, that make up my day-to-day musical score.

The White Stripes - We're Going to be Friends Some of my roommates saw Napoleon Dynamite for the first time the other day, and they've been doing scenes from it ever since. Not thai there's any reason they shouldn't be be the funniest movie ever rnade. As a result, this classic \'ijhite Stripes song, played during the open-

ing credits of the fUm, will forever be the theme song for lovable supernerds everywhere--like me.

Vangelis -

Five Circles

The score from Chariots rif J<tre won an Academy Award, and we all knowwhy: becauseeverrtimeamember of the Academy was running for the bus, this songwas playing in their head. And now, every time I am running for airything, this song is stuck"in my head. In fact, I'm not even running right now and the song is stuck in my head because I know that at some point today, I will probably be running. Stupid Vangelis.

T omoyasu Hotei - Batde Without Honor or Humanity Hollywood movies (and Quentin Tarantino mmries, for that matter) contain no shortage of scenes with people strutting in slow-motion, ac-

Personal soundtrack companied by really cool strutting music. But few scenes can hol.d a candle to the one from Kill Billwith Oren-Ishii striding down a club hallway, surrounded by Kato-mask-wearing, samurai-sword Vi-ielding body guards and accompanied by this song. It's an absolutely killer scene, and if you get this playing in your iPod headphones while walking through a crowd of people, you can feel like a power-mad Tokyo underworlder too.

Pixies - Where is My Mind J\.Iy credit card bill is too high. And

card bill. That, or the theme from Jaws.

while I don't advocate blowing up buildings, when I see that scene in Fight Club where the buildings blow up and everyone's debt records get erased (and this song is playing), it makes me just a little bit wistful. That's why this songis always playing in my head when I open my credit

Eminem - Lose Yourself

â&#x20AC;˘ agaln

Craig Cardiff plays Bombshelter Daniells Raymond and

Araa Ocal SPECIAL TO iMPRiNT/IMPRINT STAFF

one of O\'{l's most celebrated musicians, makes his biannual to the Bomber tonight. But this Cardiff is witb IS to record hiii next fuU, length album at

and the listener," says Cardiff. Cardiff welcomes the opportunity to present his music in a variety of venues such as churches, theatres, cafes and festival stages; however, he ad~. vocates that a living room show provicies. a more intimate experience. "Disco shanked the singer/song\vriter in the and rhe '80s forced it into hibernation.

Maplel\Iusic / l. Tniversal Records cata-~ 10blUe.

After the Bombshelter show, a busy touring schedule awaits Craig Cardiff, \vith extensive touring in western and eastern Canada, as \vell dates in Boston and throughout the New" England states. Jtv'1Hnt>

for and Il.cco:m!)atly~H!?

C11JnrnS ha.r~_

CD will be a live album recorded directly from Friday's Bomber concert, and ,,,-ill be released for national distribution inl\-farch. Cardiffhimselfis a nationally touract, but can truly claim that he never loses touch with his fans at a grassroots level - something he accomplishes by offering "living room concerts" to inquiring fans. "Making music is a collaborative experience between the performer

rectIy with audiences." Cardiffs commitment to his mu" sic is mirrored in his approach to touring and recording during the past eight years. Live recordings, self-produced albums that range in sound experimentation and collabo~~ ration comprise his six releases as well as contributions to charity compilation albums such as IVarnorNation, available as part of the

BtHUbsheh:er I.-e~ Cooper. Les !;las spent the last several years of his life accompanying some of the best artists that Canada has to offer including I~{olly McNarland, Chantal Kreviaziuk, Andy Stochansky and Craig Cardiff. This \vill be a rare opportunity to catch this amazing artist: performing his own materiaL IfThom Yorke and Bjork had a kid and this kid listened to a lot ofLucinda Williams and Ron Sexsmith and this kid went on to record his o\vn album and this album was produced hy Dal1iel Lanois and dus kid played a bright orange Grersch guitar, his music\vould sound nothing like the music ofLes Cooper. But Cardiff and Les Cooper would probably get along reaHywell. Also joinbg the gig are musicians Jod StOll ffer (on drums and Rhodes piano), Paull\lathew (double bass) v,-1.th special guests Craig Norris (on accordion) and Catherine Cardiff (Craig'S sister), who win be piano. Recording of the album will begin at 6 p.m. and will also serve as a teaser for the live concert which \\,ij! occm afterthe recording is completed. Tick~ ets are $9 at Feds, $12 fm non-students and $12 at the door. Por more info on Craig Cardi ff, visit www.craigcardiff.com. aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

COURTESY CRAlGCAIlDIFF.COM

Be part of some history during Craig Cardiff's Bombshelter performance January.14.

Another Academy Award \\1nner (appearing in 8 Mile), this song goes on this soundtrack for NT) reasons. First, whether you love or hate Eminem, this is good, old-fashioned, psyche-you-up music. Gota big game coming up? Play the song. Exam?

Play the song. It always works. And the second reason it belongs on this list is the look on everyone's face when that scruffy guywith the messedup suit went up to accept the award on Eminem's behalf at the Oscars ceremony. God damn, that was ftmny. ianb@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Vlllloce tl billie ~p1U122

rt:iltutes(~~i.rnpIit1t.u\vatedoo.ca

r Darren Hutz

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ "'O., __ ~._~ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ " _ . __ .,_~_~ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

IMPRINT STAFF

The New Year's resolution is a curious type of creatute. "I \vill wotkout," "I will masturbate less," "I \villgo to that 8:30 class," we've heard them all before. Its like rental car reservations --anyonecantakethembutthechallcnge is keeping them and it's a challenge not easily met. Ids barely two weeks since the bali dropped and many have already forsaken the vows they so earswore. There must be some\thout the champagne, the celebration, mayhe even the satisfaction of surviv1ng another year that grants us the confidence to think that we can commit to changing outs elves for the better in some small, yet significant way. Change, it seems, requires more than a few strong words at a party. \\'hy is it so hard to keep a resolution? Going into 2004 I swore off booze, vowing to drink casually and inftequently.Atthetime,I was spitting my vows into somebody', backyard as the stm came up, but still, I truly believed that the logic of my decision '\vould be enough to holdme to it. '111e benefits ofredu.ced alcohol consump-

Part

non are well-documented. I hoped to becolJ1e less broke, a better student and a much healthier person in general. However, despite t.he army of sense incensed against them, myoId habits came back and soon alII had left was a tiny feeling offailute. The fact is, changing oneself is no easy task. It takes logic, but logic combined with an iron will. Without willpower, a New Year's resolution is about as good as wishing upon a falling star, which is fine if you happen to become a wooden doll seekingto be a real boy, but sadly lacking for the rest of us. All it takes is one moment of weakness, and BAMl Satan strolls right back in your heart. The secretis to cultivate strong discipline. Here's where thirlbYS really gettrich-y. 1'ht' ouly prO<.luctivc way to consider the human will is to think of it as a

s muscle and those resolutions as the barbeUs. A s everyone who swore they would spend more time at the gym knows, you can't bench-press aBuick wi.th spaghetti arms, just like you can't go and nm a marathon if you've been watching DVD special features in yout basement all day, every day, for the last four months. Most of us are horribly out of shape when it comes to outwills. I can't count how many times the words "come on" have been the deciding factor in an JULIAN APONG argument. So, like the biceps, one must exercise the will on a regular basis, in order to to depend on it in a time ofneed. Martial arts are great for building discipline, but for many of us, getting to the dojo is the hard part to l)egin \vith. Try giving up some little habit for a small period of time.

going without for a week. Pick thinf,rs that are actually challenging to you, and be honest with yourself as to what is challenging. Another important thing is initiative. \Vhen you think of the test ofwill, start tight then, don'tputitoff, even though it1s so tempting to do so. You don't put off lifting the weight when the barbells are in your hands. Once you're in shape, you'll be amazed at the feats of discipline you v.ill be able to accomplish.

Are aU New Year's resolutions inevitably doomed to fail? Is the effort to change oneself utterly futile? For all of you who resolved to never make resolutions again, I suggest instead to commit to working out your 'U>ill; Next rear, when the countdo'\vn hits zero, hit the bench and maybe you can actually lift that verbial 1SO-pound wheel of cheese.

pro-

dhutz@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

GUEST COMIC ~.YWI1Oi'S~Yro

rAfE ON 'rn拢 JiII.llMrOil?

.....

0: a chilling discovery

The news that there had been a murder on campus was the kind of news that simply couldn't be contained. The details of the murder, however, were !lI..",<!tly covered up and hidden. In fact, no one even knew who itwas that had been mutdered. There were rumours that it had been a professor, others said itwas a lovers' quarrel gone too far. The longer people went without answers, the more outlandish and bizarre their theories became. E veryone had a theory, but no one seemed to have any concrete answers. Michael Stnith was med of aU the questions \llithout answers. He bad tried to find out something concrete, but he couldn't discover any1:bing nC\v. Hoping to find out something, he tried to contact the girl who had found the body. He fOlmd out that she had returned home and her parents wouldn't allow anyone to speak with her. She had apparently been so horrified hy what she had found, that she could barely control herself long enough to teU someone ,vhat had happened, before collapsing into complete hysterics. T11is did not detet l\hchacl. i\lichad ,rnmC1H';,'rp路rl at the local

which is how he hatched his plan. He knew that he would need help, so he talked to his friend Shannon. Somehow, she never did knO\v how exactly he convinced her to help him. Itwas aquietaftemoon and J\fichacl had very little to do in the ER at the hospital. He kept glancing at his watch and waited impatiently for his plan to unfold. At precisely two'o'dock, the ER doors opened and a sttmrung girl came in, stumbling and clutching her stomach. Michael and two nutses mshed to help the girl. Her long golden hair drooped about her face and tears rand down her cheeks. "W'hat'swrong?,'Oneofthenurses asked, distressed. The girl could do nothing but moan. The older nurse ducked in a ma路 tronly manner and the two nurses, together, hurried the girl into the bad~ room to find a doctor. As soon as the nurses disappeared into the back, Michael hurried out the doors of the ERand up in to the main part of the hospitaL He had \vandeted the halls many rimes and knew exactly where the coroner's office and the morgue were. He looked down in to his hand as he hun-ied towards his destination. Gripped tightly in his hand, he held the elder nurse's In and passcatd ftom the ER. An IDs and passcards at the hospital, if worn arQund the neck, have a special cord. The back section ofthccmd has a latch on, \H)ll1d open. TDe a beC0l11C

violent, no harm could be done to a person by pulling off his or her ID. Ofcourse this same fact made it very easy for 1Iichael to detach her ID while the nurse was distracted and make off with hetpasscard bd<)re she even realized it was gone. He reached the coroner's office and, holding his breath, s\viped the nutse's card at the door entrance. Only when the light turned from red to green and he heard the distinctive click, did he allow himself to breathe at,rain. Lookingup and dO'WTI the hall quickly and seeing no one, he pushed open tile door and slid inside. He wasn't sure the body he would find would be that of the murdered studentobuhehadtoatleastuJ- JVfichael found thcparient's chart lying on a cold metal table neat the body. He glanced at the person's name, age and other such information. \,\ihatinterested him was the coroner had noted where they body was found. This body, lying on d1e table before him, had been found near Conrad Grebe! College on the university campus. This person had to be the murdered student. He sat the notes back dcnJi!1 and stepped closer to the coveted body of \Villiam Bankmann. He reached down and siO\vly pulled the cover back. He dropped it suddenly and recoiled vlith disgust. 'fhe face he sawbch.l:e himwas a hideous vision. It was something he hRd never The eyes of the corpse hRd been turn our , its head. mross@lmprint.uwatsrioo.ca

YWlIE AU TAU AN!} NQ I'ilOOI' yO\! NIl! NO AlAT'" R)!( I!f 1337 smu:

;

mf~WW!

MY ~'s ~ TIW! YOO

......

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2004

•

v ry

•

if£ r nt

Cumming from uncircumcised to circumcised: becau:;e that foreskin's gone doesn't mean you have to good head. Purchase a

o ka \' ladies. This article is for those of you whose have all been circumcised, but n()w with a gUI'whoisn 'tcut-orviceversa. Lots go dll:OUgh rektionships getused to head to a certain nrc of know what to do when their new guy is different from ,yhat iJ.\\'C.--

some head. _""_lH_W"" the process is "ame for both lypeS - it's the (ofLskin got to learn to \vork -\'.-itl-Klut. Cumming from circumcised to I.mcirclimcised: You m:ver have to buy lubri cant again! unless it's for something else.) Keep in mind that because these guys have that protective fore-skin, the heads of their penises are way more sensitive, so be gentle at first. Begin with lightly tlle balls and shafr (skin and all), then when he's to move the foreskin up . and down his cock. (Be sure not to pull tl1e skin too fat down -.. - it hurts!) You'll find the skin move,; easily with your strokes and the head of the penis

ing the head until he CLUllS.

Just because that foreskin's gone, doesn't mean you have to stop giving good head. Purchase a good

under the head of the penis the sulcus). These are suggestions ---- most guys will tell you what

like or YOU can

a guy is circumcisedornot~ he'll still feel pleasure from what domg, especiallyifyou arc confidcntwlth your abilities. jharties@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Girls -- the next time your guy, stop touch-for a _minute and touch

water~based

lubricant or practise working up lots of saliva in your mouth.

with

I I I

se~~,

}.,ourse.JfirJ a position he can \'Carching a girLarouse herself is super hot for guys to look at. .. .. - .. ..

---------~

~-~---

~-.---

9811111 based lubricant --or practise working up lots of saliva in your mouth. Begin to tease him by playing with his testicles and genuy tugging his balls away from his penis. Then stimulate the shaft --- I like to run the tip of my tongue from the very b()ttom of the shaft to the top really quickly. Once he can'ttakeitanymore, ta)"c tpepenis in your mouth. Begin to build up saliva

Q: Jules, what can 1 do to make my semen taste better? A: Accordingto the sex queen Sue Johanson, there are pills you can purchase _in the states called "sweet succretions" - you take one pill a day and it makes your ejaculate taste better. Other than that, xed meat '\:vill

IT BEGINS ON THE STREETS. IT ENDS

FRIDAY,JANUARY 14, 2005

.AIDS near epidemic in Guyana

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Second-highest prevalence rate in the Caribbean are deeply enmeshed in a variety of local social factors and ills that, left unaddressed, may render even the best~esigned and funded anti-AIDS initiatives irrelevant. Bluntly speaking discriminationagainstHIV/ AIDS vicrims, violence against women, ram.pal1thomophobia and the reluctance and inability of government to do anything to address any of the above are undercutting efforts to halt this plague and putting the entire region at risk of sharing Africa's sortow.

In early October 2004, an issue took hold of Guyanese society and media 'With the tenacity and outrage usually reserved for acts of banditry and political theatre. The Mission Chapel School of New Amsterdam first allowed, but then refused to admit a two year-old orphan into its cat<: beWhile AIDS may not ca.use his motherhad died ofanAIDSrelated disease. In the end the child yet be endemic in was revealed to be HIV-negative but Guyana, gossip the public futO! over tills act of outright discriminationliugered f9rm9re and that is proving than a month before gradually subto be fatal in its own siding. W'hil.e it does not appear that this one event has led a to lasting right. change in attitudes towards liNI AIDS inGuyana,itseN'Cd to bringthc voices and issues· surrounding the epidemic, out of the woodwork and The1Yfissinn Chapel School's blunt rejection ofa toddler even.tumored to into the spotlight. be infected with th.e v"ltus is sadly not Today, the tr'AgCdy of the AIDS epidemic is invariably-associated with anisolatCdinddent. Health workers in . Sub-Saharan Africa. Indeed, in an alGuyana who deal with HIVJAIDS ready suffering land, 2.2 million died almostunaplmously report that the fromAIDSin 200;),while 25 million stigmatization of i'eat or suspected AIDS viL'1ims is the single largest bar~ weremfetted 'With what reroai.o.s a rier to controlling the spread of the death sentence. HIV/ AIDS is also on the match mthe Caribbean,whkh has disease. Amongst the general population there lS a high level of f~ and theworld's secondhighestprevalence misunderstanding ,surtounding the rate. Guyana, where it is estimated that between 20,000 and 25,000 are disea.-re, especially inregatds to how-it is transmitted. Furthermore, AIDS is infected,has these.cond~higbcstp.reva lencerate (i:hreepercent) in the region. , widely srereotypedin theCaribbean as a homosexual disease, which intra·, Guyana and the CaribhC'art atJarge are not yet at theprct.'1pice so commitdu(:esawholenewfrjght~&tnensian of discrit:l1inatiofi. . ted groups of health care wo1'kers, ll£tivists and intemationaldonoragt"ll\'!'hile AIDS mal' not yet be endemic in Guyana,gossip is, and that is des have been able to achieve some p£oving to be fatal in its 0'11.'11 tight. successes. However,HN/ AIDSand the conditions that all"ow it to spread Confidentiality of t;{ patient's health

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status is certainly more difficult in a !imaJ.~ tightly-knit country, buds ccr·

t.ainlynotaidedwhendinicalandhospital workers gossip about patient status amongst each other, friends and farnily, as was documented by a recent Human Rights Watch report on Jamaica. The same probiem is said to be present to a lesser degree in Guyana. InadvertenrcoQfidenrialityissucs, su{;h as having the dispensary window for medication to treat HIV/ AIDS in full public view, have not been addressed

either. The amount of domestic violence and violence against women is frighteningly high m Guyana. The Inter, American Development Bank estimates that between 30 and 75 percent of women in the Caribbean suffer ahuse, but headlines such as "Boy, 14, rapes <ho111.e alone' eight-rear-old," "intmderrapes 'home alone' l1-yeatokigirl" and "Gcllde.r·-based violence soars" are catastrophically common. Butperhaps the mosttdlingevidence that I have come across was when a Guyanese friend repeated to me her mother's dating advice,which was, «in ally-relationship you're bound to geta fewknocks/' Thepolice ate notoriously standoffish when it comes to :investigating reports ofd01nestl.C violent:e and it IS not unlleru:dofforacOlnplainanttohekilied by her partner while waiting for police inwention.'W'hattttXJtncsdO\vn to,in theopinionofaC~healthprofes

sional, is tharworn.enhe.re do not have thepowcl: to:tefuse SCli: from their-partnetS or insist on condom use and are at significantriskfol'sexualassault. Mean,.. while the nu.trihet of women infected withHIVinGuyanaisincreaSmgmott rapidly than thdnfection tate mlongst men; oroy thewillfullyignol'ant(,'atlUot seeaconnection. cedey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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truth

hind r d s

gods at il!)' lllrl.rtet)' althe p/;y,rlid J'Ctel1tes. AI! term, 1 dedirated effort to and caku/ollleiric mod

l'OJllPaiLY

Narrator: Grades-- The liftblood ojthe studeilt's e:x:istcflte. Nothing ffiOre thall mm;bers, or o((aJioltally letters, grades mqy seelJJ abstract to some. HinvetJf.t, to tbose who seek diplomas in the sfeeJ!y Itllit1ersi(y t()lllll oj l.f'affrloo, 0 ntm10, grade.! hold a sacred sigtlifiCtltll:i!. If'aterloa '.I st!!dents bave dedicated their li;,'8s to tbe pursuit ofknOidedge more specijicalty, the /!,rades tbat iNdicate that this km)J,tJier{~e bas bem sNcces,ifitily stalked, capttll'ed,processed, and flJOlmted cet'emo011 tbi! JI.'aIL Blit wbat bappellS JJ'ben ofgl'(/{li/~~1!, bet'OllieS corTo ,mJIVer tbis q!!estion, tod?!y .we )jJbo S(~)'s bis life has been ruined ~y 1m/air grading. Barbara Walters: Adam, why don't you tdl us a IittJe bit about your ordeal. Adam J()hns: It's borrible, Barbara. Enr since 1 .rau'lIIY tmnJcript, Ill)' lifo ha.' betot/Jc a belL I hal'f trouble sleeping, I hal'e aJlxiety problems, "D' ~I!,irlfriefld amI I broke inf:>..1)/ic.abfy, I !lOll' bal'e (I blood. that {md to like bright copper kettles and UHfTi! IYO()/lfll miltens,jNst d()11 't do it)or me a7!YfJlore. Basical!y, Till a sbell ofJ1~Y.fimnfr

se!f.' Please SW.rt at the beginning and tell

On the into fllC room )illed with t'Ot!fide!lce. Not scotch, as ill) emmie.) attest. 1 know in ll~y beart, Barbara, that I aad thoJe e:x.i:1!IJs. IFi!h God as lJ~Y witness, I a(cd tbose eXelms. Yet, my tJ'cl1lscript Mi. a diflerent stol)': a grill! fable oJfal/lm alld /;1Y)A;ell dl'llatJJS. NOIv the oll!yparty school that lJill btU/f me is the UnilJersity of Puerto Val/mia, alld it's not etM all thtlt wild. ;\1)' fit/1m! is miner/, and it's lJ!y professor'sfiltlit. Thl!)' lm/airl)' IOJl'ered !J~y grader to mill til) liji!! They'rejcalotls; fht)' call't Slam/my corky stride odour. (He breaks dOlt'll into sobs). In order to investigate Ad anl' s heart-wrenching story, I went undercover as a university professor. I caught up with Adam's physics professor at a local pub where this conversation was secretly recordcd. The Jetting: a j)tlb.iike cJtabli.rillJlellt. Physics Professor: Ah, beer! As a physics professor, I love it. Uildm:olJer Barbam n7all01:1: 1 agree coJ!eagl/e!Ar afe/lmv pm/essor of Clcademics, I sbareyo!fradlJlirafiolljormalted bCIJemgesL4!so, ph'Clse /lote tJry tlvced coal witb leather elboJv/yatche.r, whit/; feNlfi1ts my authetltia!y atld im'ite.r ]011 to share lvilb tnB]otir ifillemlO.rt secret.,: So, doyou kfl()jt'W/.1rzt I /t:k~ to

and squishes him/her. Like in InditllZf! The ones who get the most sguished get the best marks. Sit; 1 ((m-io J?it# a lIMit Illbo mJn,,'{U"IPr tJ ,good stlidmt Yeah, well, yon know, as a phys-ics professor, J hate all living things and exist only to cause suffering. Narratol:'lFith tbis sbockiftg adm;"'sioll, 0111' IIC)PJ teal!! that tbi! problem ofjiYlud!f/e!lt.grar/ing ran deeper tbaill>',! badjer/red. Barbara U7 "lter.rollcf! a..gaill tbiJ time to a matb lecture, to con/rollt the shorking filce 0/ grade frtl1lr/. 0111' hidd811 mmem this a/arming COlllli!rsatioli. The setting: A room full of nerds. Ui1tleiyolJer Barbara IFaften: So, hoJJ' abollf thtl! !?lllth, eh? Calculus Professor: Darn right! Hey, nice tweed jacket by the way. Those elbow patches real leather? YON knojJl it! So, l1!arkill,g seasol1, eb? Knoll' iJ!bat I like to do )Vb拢ll grading 1l~)' student's papel:,? Cbel1f them ott! oj llIarks right/idly eamed! YON elJei' it? MY'.vord! Of course not, Madam! That would be immord and simply wrongl I make sure to grade papers accurately and impartially to ensure that my students are awarded the marks that they deserve. Except for that Adam Johns kid. Gave him a 32 percent. Can't stand his cocky stride and musky odour. You might say I'm jealous.

ot the sa e 01 'za 1'hai pizza & veggie toss ala j\llmendinger Sarah Allmendinger IMPRINTSTAFF

Your significamothcris coming over for dinner, yet you have nothing original to present 1'0 him/her. Yon don't want to make mac & cheese, grilled cheese or anything that comes out of a box or can. You want to look W,c you kno\,vwhatyou're doing and yet rou don't want to put too much effort into it. \Vhat would be better than just a plain old made-to--order pizza? Well, that is very simple --- a Thai pizza with a vegetable toss. This will not only make you luok good, it will put him/her in awe at your culinary expertise. Pizza ingredients

canota or extra virgin olive oil 1 x 150 gram boneless, skinless chicken brea~t 1 tsp .I\frs. Dash Extra Spicy Seasoning 1/2 tsp curry powder 1 cup washed bean sprouts 3 tbsp low fat creamy peanut butter 2 tbsp light soy sauce 1 tbsp water 1/4 tsp cayenne 1 x 12-inch pizza cmsr 3 x green onions, finely chopped 6 x mushrooms, sliced

and add to pan. Toss until chicken is no Sprinkle with and set aside. Sofi.cn peanut butter in a mug in the micrO\vaye for 151:025 seconds. sauce, water and cayenne. Keep blending with a fork or whisk until slightly runny. Spread sauce over pizza crust. Tor with sauteed chicken. Scatter mushrooms and onions over pizza base ..fop with mozzarella. Bake for five rrjllutcs. \'i;rhen timer rings for pizza, change oven setting to broil. \Vatch carefully. \X7hen cheese be-gins to bubble, the pizza is ready. Remove pizza from oven and sprin-. klc bean sprouts (patted paper towel) over top. For toss: Place vcggics in serving bowl, drizzle with balsamic vinegar ami'olive oiL Toss and serve.

sail men@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

!Ii hlre_'\;~ ~~llj' p.,cWlIm III

Veggie toss ingredients

o/attendiftggrad1Jelte Sihoo! at the Unillcrsity o/Cancun, I ItJ()Nld heme to excel at 17!)' calm/us and ph)!.rics ciasJes. So I lvorked, Barbara. I IJJorked like a mmlpOJ.ressed. At Ipbile tbe dew sparkled on thegrass and the roostn:r trifled their lIIorning .rerenade, 1 sat ill physics da.rs rapt with attention. At IPhatfrllcr lillie calculus cla.rJ ocmrred -- I lllf1$ there. AI)' cregon squeaked late into tbe nigbt; sparks flew from l1!J' I-square. The

work at the forefront of 13m that is exactly

students think they're so smart! 1 just love the looks of panic on their faces when they realize their precious studying has amounted to nothing. 1 actually have a pretty creative method for assigning marks. I like to rig up a booby-trap outside the assignment drop box, so that when a student hands in his/her paper, a massive boulder rolls down the hall

ef!,ort.rojof.!rneJPS teaJJJ, as )pel! as Bat'bam rf7alters' tmparalleled tale!lt.r of espionage, the IFdterioo ,grade-cbmtging ling )}Jas b/Dlv!/. lJlide open, and the gNiID'Professors llJere sef)cre/y reprimanded. Adam receilJed the grades he deserved. Tor/try, be is llJef! on his llltry towards (! masters in stllltanning. ajohns@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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LIBRARY

CECS Monday, January 17,2005 Co-op Job postings available at 6 a.m. Tuesday, January 18, 2005 Co-op Job postings close at 11:59 p.m. Career Services Workshops: Starting Your Own Business - The Basics. This workshop will help you as-

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Friday, January 14,2005 Information for Graduate Students. Learn about facilities and services that will make your library research more effective. 2:30 -3:30 p.m. Dana Porter Library, FLEX Lab, 3rd floor. Monday, January 17,2005 RefWords: The Basics. Offered to students, faculty and staff who are beginning users or who have never used Ref Works. 9:30 - 11:00 a.m. Dana Porter library, FLEX Lab, 3rd floor. Register at www.lib.uwaterloo.caluseredlform/. Wednesday, January 19,2005 Keep Current - Digitally! Offered to graduate students, faculty, and staff. This hands-on session shows you how to save your search strategies in various databases and have the results emailed to you on a regular basis. 9:30 a.m. - 11:30 a.m. Dana Porter, FLEX Lab, 3rd floor. Register at www.lib.uwaterlob.ca/usercd/form/. Monday, Feburary 14,2005 Keep Current - Digitally! Offered to students, faculty, and staff. This hands-on session shows you how to save your search strategies in various enginerring databases have the results emailed to you on a regualr basis. 9:30-1] :30 a.m., at Dana Porter library, FLEX lab, 3rd floor. Register at: ·www.lib.uwaterloo.ca/useredlform/.

AMMaUNCE Need food or short of cash? The Feos food bank is a confidential student-run food bank that provides non-perishable goods to UW students in need. Visit us in the Student Life Centre, room 2108 or you can e-mail usat:uwfoodbank<£t;>hotmail.com. Philosophy in Action. Join a discussion that looks at how philosophy applies to everyday life. Saturdays and Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m. in downtown

yper- esponsiv

ULLETIN Kitchener - 742-4433 ~leave message). Check out aU the events happening in the Student Life Centre at http:// www.studentservices.uwaterloo.ca/slc/events.htm. Heidi Thiessen Memorial Awards for Student Writing ($1000 & $500) are available to 3rd and 4th year FIT students at Uw, WLU, & U of G. Feb. 11, 2005 deadline. For details, see www.stc-soc.org/ awards/stu~!!_n_t-,.p_h-,-p_._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Nominations are requested for the following undergraduate student seats on Senate: Faculty Seats: One stuc\ent elected bylfrom the full-time or part-time undergraduate students in the Faculty of Applied Health Science, Engineering, Environmental StudieslDepartment of Independent Studies and Faculty of .M.athematics, term from May 1, 2005 to April 30, 2007. At-large Seats: One student elected byl from the full-time or part-time undergraduate students, term from May 1, 2005 to April 30, 2007. Nominations are available at: www.adm.uwaterloo.ca/infosec/ election sl senatenomform.pdf or from the FEDS office. At least five nominators are required in each case. Com-

SERVICES "Ultimate Questions" The Lord Jesus Christ is the difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence. Please send nanlC and address to: Bible study, Zion United Reformed Church 1238 Main St., Sheffield, ON LOR 1 ZO or e-mail bible@zurch.on.ca. See web site: www.zUfch.on.ca. click on l.inks, ask for book. Sign up today, it's free. Term Paper help from dedicated writing professionals with more than 30 years experience. E.S.1.,., research & writing, editing and proofreading, entrance letters and thesis help. Toll Free 1-888-345-8928 or cutomessay.com. Mustan Computer Systems Inc - sales and service, free pickup and delivery, service charge flat rate $35. For all your computer needs call 886-6004. Essay Help - Need help with any of your essays? Take the help of highly qualified graduates. We are able to work at all academic levels and cover most academic subjects. Top quality writing, editing, and research provided. Call toll free to Custom Editing Services 1-888-345-82905, customessay@bellnet.ca or customessay.com. Fax: 1-416-960-0240. We fix any computer problem - $45 flat - plus free (liagnosis! Pop ups, viruses, spam, hardware - we fix it all. Visit our store or call 747-5979. W:lterloo Networks, 220 King Street, N., across from \VILU, behind Phil's. Custom essay writing and research assistance - Essay Experts can write an es:;ay or research papers on any topic, level and for ariy deadline. Call 1-877974 cTEXT Of visit EssayExperts.ca.

\Veekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Stre~!, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Imprint Publications needs two distribution people for winter term delivery, January 7 to April 1,2005. Please see Laurie, SLC 1116, between 9:30 a.m. 5:.30 p.m. for information. Let's make this your best summer yet - Cunp Wayne, northeast Pennsylvania, USA. Counselor-specialists all landlwater sports inc. Tennis, golf, baseball, soccer, outdoor adventure: camping, mountain biking, climbing/ropes, roller hockey, rocketry, fine arts, theater, radio, video, CDr. drivers, wait staff and more. RN's for our health center. Interviews in conjunction with 4-SchoolJob Fair,Wednesday, February _2. Let's get the ball r.olling now! Online application www.campwayne.com; e-mail: info@campwayne.com or 1-888-549-2963 (516883-3067c;.)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

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UPCaMIMG Wednesday, January 19,2005 Alzheimer Society presents Current Research & Medications for Alzheimer. Luther Village, 139 Father David Bauer Drive, Waterloo. 7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. For complete details and registration please call 742-1422. Saturday, January 22, 2005 Free concert - the Waterloo Residence Council is hosting a free concert in the SLC Great Hall at 8:00 p.m. Lots of great prizes! Tuesday, January 25, 2005 Tea Party with Harry Rosen - RCH 301, 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. For info contact asec_ harryrosen@hotmail.com

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pie ted nominations should be submitted to the Chief Returning Officer, Secretariat, NH .3060, no later than 3:30 p.m. January 18,2005. Refer to the Secretariat's website (w\iliw.adm.uwaterloo.cal infosec) for more info.

Parr-time employment - fun, games, sports and crafls with after-schoo! children at Laurelwood Public School. Walking distance from university. Interested persons should leave a message at 741-8997. SlipStream job opportunities: Now hiring in R&D, QA and Technical Support. See complete details for all positions at www.slipstream.com/careers.html and join us at our Information Session in the Fishbowl January 25 from 5-8 p.m. Caring person needed to care for 1-2 boys. Albert and Columbia. 5 min from UW. Part time hours.

Great Rates. Call Rosina 883-1035. ---Independent contractors required for door to door daily newspaper delivery. 4:00 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. 6 days a week. Earn $400.00 to $600.00 per month. Phone 894-2250 ext. 6020. Reliable vehicle required.

HOUSING Free Apartment Finder Services! Over 8,000 apartments in our database. We make appointments, you save time! High rise, low rise, town homes, furnished and unfurnished. All prices! Call now for this free service. 310-7000. 23A High Street off Hazel. modern self contained, rnain t1oor, tour hedroorn, living room, kitchen, con'lplete modern bathroom, free laundry and parking, no pets. Group tenancy for four students, available May 1/05 to Aug . .:;0/06, $445 per student, including utilities. Contact June Smith 416-491-1370, cell: 416-705-5648. Superb seven bedroom house - 423 Tamarack Drive, large deck, two kitchens, two baths, laundry, parking, newly renovated ceramic tile, etc. Extremely well 575-6321. Can Waterloo Off-Campus HOllsing (W.O.C.H.) for all your housing needs. Quality service and quality housing at www.rentwoch.c_om, 747-7276. Four bedroom, excellent location - close to everything, washer/dryer, dishwasher, air conditioning, parking, huge patio, perfect for students, only one space left. Call 741-7724, www.acdev.ca for more info. 23B High Street off Hazel - modern self contained three bedroom, living room, kitchen, complete bathroom, free laundry and parking. Group tcnancy for three students, no pets, 12-month lease required May 1/05 to Aug 30/06. $41.5 per student, utilities included. Contact JUlle Smith at4J6-491-1370, cell: 416-705-5648. Five bedroom house - excellent j(KatlOn, close to everything, very clean, washer/dryer (not coin operated), gas heated, two bathrooms, large driveway, on bus Call 741-7724. 11 & 13 Menno - very modern, recently built, R2000 duplex, five bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, Jivingroom, diningroom, unfurnished, free laundry & parking, no pets. Group tenancy for five students, 12-month lease required, available Sep li05 to Aug. 30/06, $360 per student, plus utilities. Contact June Smith 416-491-1370 or cdl: 416-70.55648. Very large nine bedroom house - 3'49 Albert Street, extra dose, two kitchens, two bathrooms, two common area.~, all large rooms, laundry, parking for five. 575-6321. Immaculate, fully furnished five bedroom townhome. 1wo fridges, stove, dishwasher, microwave, washer, dr,yer, Clair, TV/DVD, $.300 for summer, $399 for school year, (includes utilities). Available May 1 2005. Minimum four months. Contact Jake 575-90.92.

WANTED Visiting Japanese family seeking fully furnished accommodation with 3 bedrooms and laundry facilities for year from March 2005 to February 2006. Phone Sheila 519-884-2089.

science@imprint.uwaterloo_ca

rst..

s s

Michelle Rorke IMPRINT STAFF

The last tsunami to hit Canada was on 1\Iarch 27, 1964, when a 9.2 magnitude earthquake shook Alaska, killing 122 people along thc U.S. coast. \X'hcn the \vavcs hit Port Alberni on Vancouver J sland, they caused millions of dollars in damage. No Canadian lives were lost:, but it was the warning call needcd for Canadians to devise a tsunami warning system. Stations are located on the ocean floor to detect pressure changes and floating stations measure changes in water level and behaviour. Computers linked to the stations compare the tide levels to the values from the stations. An increase of a mere few centimetres can be detected. The system was actually able to measure the tail end of the Sumatra tsunami as it rolled upon the shores of Canada's west side. By detecting the mega quake, the computers can calculate exactly where and when the wave will hit and therefore give people valuable time to get to higher ground. Since Victoria is around the inlet of the island, it would not be hit as hard as the far west coast and should have plenty of

The fraser River, under certain conditions, could flood

The Cascadian subduction 7.one runs from Oregon right up to Vancouver Island and according to seismologists, has a 70 pet cent chance of causing a mega quake in the next 200 looking at core samples from the

these types of events happen about every 500 years. The last such event w-as Jan 26, 1700, ,:vhen a tsunami swept across Vancouver Island and devastated Japan. Since then, the Juan de Fuca plate lH'Kk,r the Pacific Ocean has heen

Be.

HITOSHI MURAKAMI

North American plate. The plate should be moving two to three cent1n1ettes a year, and it is estimated tharwhen it finally releases, it could move up to 20 metres! Since tl1e magnitude of of the

the $ame as Sumatra's --_. 1000km ----- we'll be dealing ,,,iih the similarly sized \vaves. fully won't catch us off guard. There's one additional problem. The Fraser Nyer begins high in the Rocky I\lountains and coliects huge amounts of debris along its nOOkm path; all of this debris is deposited on the steep banks of the Strait of Georgia. The massive build--up of unstable sediment could cause an underwater landslide capable of producing tsunami waves. If this occurred, there would be no warning; the wall of water would hit land only seconds after the landslide. I am going to rethink my plans to retire there. And those \vho live on th(~ east coast, don't think you're safe. Prof. Alan Morga..'1 reminds that there's al\vays the off chance that an asteroid could hit the Atlantic Oct::m and depending on the size, would make waves large enough to dan1age the adjacent shores in North America and Europe. In addition, the Europeans have been concerned for years about the possibility of a massive landslide from a volcano collapse in the Canary Islands. A computer model (left) shows the way the tsunami will build after the volcano, called Cumbre Vieja, erupts on La Palma. There's a huge chunk of rock that is unstable enough to be dislodged in the next big emption. Such a landslide from would be powerful l'llough to sustain the energy needed for the nine-hour journey to the American cast coast

; Advanced technology to track migration patterns of - soccer balls? Adam Gardiner IMPRINT STAFF

The University of \'V'aterloo Sustainability Project exists as a resource for students and an avenue for them to make a difference in their community. The group helps ~1.th everything from funding to volunteer coordination, ad-verusing to infortl}ation resources. The UWSP office and coordinators are here to help students get projects off the ground and keep them flying. It JJlrzs il1l earlY Jvlrmdqy mortling aJul tbe ltilld across tbe ('tJl!tP!ts lWftfd bal'efrozm tbe balls oIfil tOf/ton. I trekked to the SLC to ltleet lJ.ith Biaht'a Sqyrzn and LI'i1a 1\lttnla, tbe U nit'er.rity ~f IFater/oo S!tstainabiiit)' Project CoordiNators, to cbat about tbeir orgtlllizafiOli, sJlStainabtlity aIJd Ii!)! persONa!fat'Oltrite topic: di.rJ;e/ling the hippie myth. First off, I asked why they think sustainability is important. Bianca responded, "Out current society isn't sustainable. People aren't con-路 fronted with this fact. The way we're living can't cOl1tinue indefInitely." For example, Canada has one of the highest rates of energy consumption P'"f person globally. Events like tlle contamination of the Walkerton water supply, drought and pestilence brought about by global warming, and a mOUnl1ng list of endangered species most of

whose habitats have been lost due to development--- these are all signs thatwe need to come to respect the planet we live on a great deal more tllan \ve do at present. Many people become overwhelmed when they learn about the environmental problems that face our planet today. It may be e~sy to ignore these concerns now but it is becoming increasingly diffIcult to turn a blind eye -- if we don't change, there won't be anywhere to turn. The upshot to all this, however, is that sustainability is emerging as a hot topic. "The Canadian government is really noticing sustainability," Bianca imparted. "These problems are going to be one of the importantissues of the next genera1ion. It's just a matter of time before we're faced with it." "Students can do a lot," Leila com..'11ented. "Sometimes we're just in awe of hm.- much they actually do. The university as ml institution is almost a mini city that provides for students. If you can reach a certain level of susrainability here, you can apply that to other areas of society. If it can be a big issu(t on campus then it can become a bigger issue across Canada." Bianca spoke about her experiences in mak ing her own Me sustainable. "J just asked ~how feasible would it be to change my lifestyle,'" she said. "It doesn't have to be evel'ything. You just say, 'I'm going start carrying a [l'eusable] mug.' If you can cauy textbooks, you can carry a mug."

See UWSP, page 26

The world of soccer technoiogy appears set to enterthe twenty-flrs\century. Game officials in England are considering the introduction of ball tracking technology to their matches. The news follows a controversial call made at an English Premier League game last Tuesday, when the referees incorrectly called a goal made by the Tottenham team against opponents Manchester United. The calJ cOSt Tottenhmn the game, leaving the score tied at zero each. The proposed tracking system is developed by Adidas' German division, which oversees the manufacturing of soccer balls. It essentially uses a microchip inside the soccer ball and sensors on the court. The sensors record when the ball's microchip passes the goal line, identifying the ball's position as in or out more precisely than a referee might be able to. Similar systems h.ave been highly successful in other sports: the most common example, the "Cyclops" system used in tennis,

employs infrared sensors at the service lines on court. Unlike tennis, however, soccer matches proceed at a much faster pace between points. The biggest challenge to the proposed technology is how to make it useful without interrupting the flow of play; this problem has been th(~ primary reason soccer leagues in the UK have resisted accepting tracking technology for so many years. Adidas, however, promises their new system \vill resolve any conflict in under 30 seconds, adding that it takes the players just as long to reorganize themselves after a goaL The Adidas system will be tested next month at a Premier League fin a I s ) ..)

:.~ t(~~.i~

c 1 a 1y pre sen ted to the FedWiNNIEFRED KUANG eta t ion Internationale de Football Association, thegoverning agency for world soccer, on their next meeting in Cardiff on February 26. Soccer, it seems, h...as been kicked on its \vay to the of technology at no slow pace. agardiner@imprint.uwaterfoo.ca

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2005

UWSP: the crusade

Who on earth gave four-year . . olds cell phones?

Beth Payne and Tim Alamenciak

SPECIAlT-oiMPRINT /IMPRINT STAF-F--------Nanotechnology joins fight on cancer The FDA has approved a new chemotherapy drug for advanced breast cancer that c3,n be administered in higher doses \vith milder side effects than the current chemotherapy. It also shrinks tumors faster. The current treatment options usc toxic solvents and requires the patient be on an IV drip for several hours. The new drug, ABRAXANETJ\I, uses nanotechnologr to create a protein-bound susof particles one hundredth the size of a nx.! blood cdl. It can be administered in just 30 without many of the toxic effects have experienced in the past. This will 1:0 drastically reduce the stress to patients caused by treatment. Although this is far from a cU.re for breast cancer, it is a great improve路ment on the treatment options currently available. In 2004 alone, over 21,000 Canadian men an.d women were diagnosed with this disease. \,\'hat this drug hopes to offer is a better life during treatment and a higher chance of sur.. vivaloverall. Apple puts all its fruit out for next year The annmJ Consumer Electronics Show is the time of the year when all the major

least your television. Numerous people interelectronics companies gettogether and announce viewed Bill Gates during C1:':S and the theme their Up corning product lineup.Right after that, that kept ctoppingup thi'O ugh out his " .....e'N'hi'C /\pple has their o\vn was tlw idea of convergence. shindig, IvIacWorld. I I t's been confit111ed that Xbox 2 wiH come guess they're too good with media centre capa路 forCES. bilitics and also thc abil The mmour mill ity to connect and com(already) started municate with your turnirlg for Apple a. computer. There were few months back. also mutterings of comThq then sued the bining the wildly popurumour mill, and lar MSN Messenger now they've released service with your },,'l:)OX the aforementioned Live buddy list. rumoured products. The iPod Shuffle lUld Cell phones - not the Mac mini (a tiny so good for chilcomputer) were dren's brains? headlining the keyIn addition to the note speech, ta.iled sheer perversion ofhavby an office suite, ing four--year-olds carty and a life manage路路 COURTESY WWW.APPLE.COM around cell phones that ment suite. can track their locations, the British-made chilThe Shuffle is available in 512 Mb and 1 Gb dren's phone has been ruled risky fO.f use. sizes, retailing for $129 and $189 respectively. It doesn't have a screen, but Apple is hyping the The targeted kids between four and eight, marketing itself as a way for kids to ability to play songs in random order. It hides a keep safe and have their parents keep tabs on USB C0fl11ector under a small plastic cap and boasts iTunes compatibility. \XThile the player them. While it hasn't been proven that cdlphone radiation causes brain da..mage, the risk itself is nothing exceptiona~ the price certainly is. was deemed far too l:,'Teataccording to Britian's Apple's other new product, The Mac mini, National Radiological Board. .retails at a surprisingly 10'l,v $629. Sporting a Perhaps one day our barely-lucid children sexy 1.25 GHz G4 processor, 256Mb of RAJ.\-! will be able to safely calI mommy and tell hel' and a 40 Gb hard dl'ive, it measures at a mere about the duckie that just crossed the road. Until 5.08 cm tall and 16.51 em square. then, they're little brains ,vill be safe from the hazards of cellular radiation, but not from TV. More from 'CES and Bill Gates Microsoft wants to take over yOUl' living talamenciak@imprint.uw8terloo.ca room. W'en, maybe not the whole thing, but at

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Continued from page 25

J told them both about mv crusade to spread the word of susvinability and debunk

the mythos about long. haired, granola-eatfolk that surrounds it. Bianca agreed s~,ying, "It's not just hippies who are getting involved. The Governm.ent of Canada rec~ ognizeR sustainability issues. For example, the [federal] One Tonne Challenge and [the Ontario government] trying to phase out coal power." There needs to be a concerted effort by the entire population if a positive change is going to be seen. "Most people tllink that someone else is going to take care of the problem," Leila 'added. "\Ve have to convince the next generation to be responsible. It's about giving people options." \Vhen asked what the one message they'd like to send out is, Leila responded, "\X'e have so much knowledge and technology from the past 200 years, we just have to use it - we need a paradigm shift." Bianca further commented, "1 f each person did one thing on campus it would make a huge difference. It's everyone's future - we're the problem and the solution." There are opportunities to make your university experience more interesting, y,tluable and relevant by incorporating sustainability into your coutsework as well. Students are encouraged to come up to U\X'SP office in the SLC 3102 to join existing projects or start one of their own. More infonnation is available at www.uwsp.uwaterloo.ca or e-mail uwspmail@yahoo.com rtemmer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

sporrs(Gl.impnnt.uw<lterloo,ca

's h tt

Rod Mclachlan

garnes, hut the \1I7arrior5 are no\\' tl1C talk of the

~'arriors has been well deserved, as the first-year

IMPRINT STAFF

to-wn.

netminder stopped 54 of 59 shots that he faced in the two weekend games, which U\1\;' won by scores of 5-4 on] anuaty 7 and 4-1 the following night. As a result of his efforts, Darfulg was named the QUA athlete of the week and the Warriors tw:naround year has been featured as the main story on the men's hockey section of the OUA's web site. "We focus on whatwe do;' said Taylor of his strategy to help his entire team deal with the media spotlight. "It's 110t going to affect how\ve play." As for negative attention, the pair oflosses to

If you didn't know that \Y/aterloo even had a men's hockey team, chances are you probably do now. Although the men's team had struggled in the past and had only won nine games in tl1e last two seasons combined, the \Varriors (7-6-1-0) are now the number ten team in the country. By wuming two games last weekend in a home-and-home series against the \Vestern Mustangs, a team that they hadn't beaten in the regular season in five years, Waterloo not only extended its OUA undefeated stretch to six

On December 11, rookie Waterloo goalie Curtis Darling, who is one of the main reasons U\V is on a tear oflate, was featured in an article in The Record. "He's doingwell with it," said U\Y/head coach Karl Taylor in a telephone interview in refel:ence to how Darling has handled his recent media attention. "He's a very grounded guy." Darling, an arts and business major, now holds the third best goals against average in the nation at2.08 and the fmuih bestsavepercentage at.919. lbe publicity for the Calgary native and the

UW was the fitst taste of def<~atthat Western has had inreguJation play all season long and moved the Mustangs down three spots in the CIS rankings to number seven. ' In the meantime, some cynics have suggested that \Y/aterloo's (V.TO victories weren't entirely legitimate due to the fact that Western was playing,,;-ithout seven of its players, who are off in Europe competing in the world university games in Austria. "I wouldn't even comment on that," said Taylor when asked what he thought of the skepticism. "Ifsoutofmycontrol [as to who the other team dressesJ." Although Taylor admits that the missing ,*'estetn players were a factor, for \Vaterloo's bench hoss a "liin is a ,,,,in whether the team the \Varr.iors face is "a minor hockey league team or the MOl1treal Canadiens." "On Fri.day, I thought that 1\;;'estern] played welt On \ve played yery well," said Taylor. "In the third pel-1od [of Saturday's g;mle], they let up a hit because they didn't see the light at the end of>the tunneL" In the first game of the home-and-home, lJ\"I(Ts offence exploded right from the opening faceoff as the \,(Tarriors established a 4··0 lead he fore the Mustangs responded \~1.th two mark· ers to dose out the opening frame, Rookideft \vingcr .Jordan Brenner opened the scoring for UW only 1:10 i11to the game,

and

sophomore centre J\1ike Della Mora added a power play markeT for \\('aler100 before the 12 minure rnark. of the first. HCTwever, \'('esrern got{m the board \\,hen l\1ikc Sdhm deflected aJesse Boucher shot frOlH the point past an unsuspecting \Virh rookie defenceman 'Dustin Hauer for cross ,-hF'r!h,.,," Sreve neJledettl one tirned a BC}llch.cr shor jnto

GLENN BARTLEY

Right-winger Dave Philpott battles forthe puck in the corner with a Western defender. Waterloo swepttheirweekend homeand-home series with the number three ranked Mustangs.

A little less than scyen minutes into the second period the Mustangs pulled to within one goal when Sal Peralta scot(~d a short-handed marker. See SWEEP, page 31

THIS WEEK IN

THLE CS Curtis bac%:-stopped the Warriors to DNO W1f!-S over the i'f4 ranked Western Mustangs last \\."€f:Kend. On fdday in London, Curtis stopped 33 of 37

SAXON

shots in.a 5 4 \>\rin. On Saturday night., Curtis a 4- ~'- win on- home ice. "--QUA Athtete of the N

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l~RIDAY.JANUARY 14,2005

•

Kin s'K Adam McGuire

lMPR1NfSTAFF·-----------U\>;' women's hockey coach lvlike Kadar certainly debuted in a positive fashion last weekend. The Warriors, playing their first OUAleaguegameunderKadaisguidance,skated to a big 5-1 victory over the Windsor Lancers, pulling Waterloo to within two points of Windsor for the third and fmal playoff spot in the OUA's \\leslX.-'111 Conference. Kirsten Lindstol's hat trick "and Julianne Schmalz's four-point effort led the way for the Warriors in their

fJ ins st ff

most Ibpsided victory of2004-05-a game which marked the first for LT\V since Kadar replaced Bill Ander over the Christmas holidays. Kadar arrived bel-llncl the Waterloo bench overthe Christmas break after a unique situation freed him up from his usually busy schedule. He serves as the strength and conditioning coach of the National Hockey League's Los Angeles Kings but, with the NHL work stoppage this season, Kadar accepted the job at U\'X! on an interim basis. Although he has never coached women's hockey before, Kadaris con-

fidem that his experience "rill enable the struggling Warriors to make a charge for the playoffs. "1 think you keep all the same goals in mind whether you're workingin the NHL otattheuniversity level," Kadar said. His employer in the NHL echoed Kadar's sentiments, as Kings gene1'al managerandfotmerNHLgteatDave Taylor was quick to praise UW's newestvarsity coach. "He's gota ve1ydiverse background both from the conditioning side and also from the coaching side," Taylor said in a phone interview with Imprint from his L.A. office. "I think he does bring a lot [to Waterloo]." :1··.· Taylor also shares Kadar's views ,men it comes to the coach's jump from men's pro hockey to wO.!lwn's varsity leve~ suggcstingthat hockey-; to manyextems, is hockey no matt "The game fundamentally same," Taylor said. the game is the same ... ";!lpth,'!,jt"~ women, men, high school or pet: hockey. 1 think he'll do just fine." OW athletic dll:ectorJ udy McCrae' said Kadar is U\Y/'s head coach on an im-erim basis as he is still under contract with the Kings. McCrae added that, while Iheyliope to have a new and petl.t'.anent head coach in place before the off·season is too old, Kadar's prescnceoffers the progl1U11 the st.abil-

=:~==~===::ti.Jr;~~l~!t¥~.~!i~:;I!;j~b;!#.11!t!t;)!~:ttc future.

Arna~st~ and Logue bacU":i:ontrack \vL--ekcnd offbefore meets \vith \'l{!estem on Jant4'tty 21 a!l~ Niagara and LaurieronJl1nUllry2],.Bothgrunesate at the PAC pool.

. Lady bailers fall ~p,t.,urentian

Dan Micak IMPRINT STAFF

back from an intense training . camp in Florida with the Warriors track and field team, long distance runners Scott Amald and I\fike Logue placed fin;tandsecondi1tspebiv--clyinthe3000-

ure Brockdue to.illriess,file \Vattio.rs S\vim tC'Mll posted a sbowing. Matt Mains continued his dominam.::e, winning all three of his events, tl1e 200metre backstroke, 100.··merreand200. metre fly, le.ading the tnen's side to a

Prior .to .pJa}1tJ.g the Laurentian . Yoyageurson Friday,]anuary 7, the Warriors women's basketball team held a 2-2 record against Eastem COtlference opponents. Despite a strong ~tartagai1JSt the Voyageurs, who stand fits,t in the OUA East, that record Qe6ltnc 2-3, as the Warriors fell 69-59. l.eadingthecharge foxthe \"V;'arriors was fo tth-year centre Julie Devenny \v1t:h dght points and nine boards in theco~~sI\Kat:eMcCrne's S<'.'ll.:;on-high ···lil:poin~~\'{as tops forthe losing sqru«l day,January 10, the War·· t to avenge their loss to when they traveUed to Tot'i'lflt() to face the York University Lif;lrtS,who stand.in the middle of the tn rhe OVA East division. The Warriors kept the contest dose throughout but rellin the end by It score of56-54. DevennypuronanOlherstlungperformance,notdting1 Opoints andfalling just one rebound short of the douhlcdouble. Forward Gillian Maxwell re·· corded 12 boards .in the game.

134... 111. b~i$Z-n~!H~~tU: hil

• In

a ers

Loss to York marks tough start to 2005 Dan Micak fMPRINT STAFf

them, and they won," noted Kieswetter. Forwards Dave Munkley and 1he Warriors men's basketball, unJ'vfichael Davis both notched 14 points questionably the University ofWaterfor the Warriors in the contest. 100's best shot at an 0 U A championTheloss to York means the Warship ritlein any sport this year, dtopped riors areplayjngonly .500 ball in their from number three to number five in last six gam~s. The other two los<ses the CIS national rankings~fte~;iheld?! c t;{:ru:¥tton'~ fuitlll offlhe 2004 74-7Qloss to the York Lions onJanu~ POi1iOtl of the GU A scht.'<iule and ary9. then to the Ul-llversity of Q\lebec at Despite Waterloo's superior naMontreal at a Bishop's Ut-llversitytional ranking, Yorkwaspynomea.n~ hqst<:'d tOl.fUlament over the holidays. an inferior oppbt1ent,as their 9 3 < And "vhilc the Warriors admit they record is good enough for second have not played their best basketball place in the OUA East, behind the over the period, injuries have been a number one ranked Carleton Ravens. ttoublingpointwith the teamrc(.'Cntly. The Ravens, of course, stand undeIn the game versus the Lions, Andrew feated on the season and handed the Coatswotth, Mike Sovnm and Warriors their fJXstloss of the season Graham Jarman all played through back on December 4. theil' injuries .. A8 Coach Kies\vetter Waterloo actually out-rebounded noted,"Itgo{$'W~ththet:errit01y. \Ve're York in the game bya35-31 margin not making excuses, but we need those with each of the nine Warriors who players at at least 75 per cent. They appesredin the game grabbing at least played hard despite the fact they were one board, yet \Vatriot Coach Tom injured." I{ieswetter conceded, "[Size] was a Not (?plydi~J~e loss to York drop big factor. They really packed it in, we the Warriors in the national rankings, didn't have many inside shots." butit alsq.-allQvied the Brock Badgers The Lions' outside shooting backiiito first place contention in the proved to be too much for the \VarOUA's WesternConference as both riors as well as York shot 47.1 percent teams now stand deadlocked at 8-2 011 from behind the arc. The \Varriors the season, 1ne top rum seeds in the 15.8 per cent was simply insufficient. \vest at the end of the season receive a "\Ve had a couple shots down the first-round bye in the playoffs, but stretch, and we missed them. They hit finishing second to Brock would mean

W:l

gs the Warriors would be on the road if the 1:\'\10 teams met in the playoffs. "W'e're fighting hard to stay on top oftheleague," said Kieswetter. "\Ve're not taking anything for granted." Prior to the York loss, the Warriors defeated the 3-9 Laurentian VOYl1b>eurs 78-62 in Sudbury on January 7. '*"11en asked about facing weaker teams such as Laurentian, Kieswetter noted~"\Ve don't have any compla~u<:y/lhere's still urgency. Any rime y(}u're on a mission, you can't look past any opponent." The Warriors certainly did not look past Laurentian as they came strong out of the gate and pressed throughout,leading by cleven points attbe half on th.eIr way to to the sixteen-point victory. The Warriors succeededinbJ'reading the ball around, as fout players registered in double figures. Gerard &iagennis lead the Warriors with 18 points including four three-pointers. Forward Andrew CQatsworth recorded a double-double in the contest with 12 points and 12 rebounds. The Warriors hope to restart their climb up the OUA standings \vith a four -game homcstand ov(~ the com· jp.g 1:\vo weeks. The homestand begins Friday,]anuary 14 when the War· riars host the Uzriversity of Toronto Varsity Blues, followed into town the next evening hy the Ryerson Rams. Both games are at 8 p.m. dmicak@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

the hat trick as he won ali three breas tstrokeevcnts: the 50··metre, lOO-metre and 200-metre. In total, five differ.ent mille swlmmets won event" in the meet. On the women's side. Kdfiey Dodge showed the results ofher hard work at the Venezuela training camp winningtbe 50-metrdlyand finishing §econd in both the l00-metre fly and lhe200-metref:reestyle. Unfortunately, the women fell 190-78. Steph Borgs also sb~ne atthemeet, posring a seasoll best time and \vinning the 200-metrehreasrstroke. The Warriors swim.mers have a

the- ()t ~.;\ 'S' ,~;,}~,t c{)_nft~r-· ence. The ,veekend ,\Till see the telk'1l play host to t\1TO Toronto squads, the U ofT Varsity Blues on P'riday nig-ht and Ryerson onSatutday. BOtl1 games are at 6 p.m. in the PAC,

Lady volleyballers fall to Windsor In their fi.rst game back after the holiday ht~> the Warriors women's volleyball teamdtopped a dQseone to \X;'indsoron Januarr 12. Windsorwon the game three sets to one.

See WINLESS, page 31

to P~of. ilL""'''''''''' t5~mi~t~'4. Ont~W'~~ P.oW€1>U* G!"$;k1!@'p~M~1ti«l'~" Dat;~~ P~~;e$$

and

200~ nme; 12 ~m - 5 pm Loc~ti~"~ e~T ::J142 f"ef~e!li!ihmeuts wi~~ ~ pW'o'lfgde~ '"

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2005

I Peyton's place is among I football cham ions

Heavy hitter

Attention ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls and pocket-protecting mathies of both genders --.. you are about to read the most obvious statement evet printed in TiJ'o-1\Jimrte Wanui{I;. Ready? Here it comes: Peyton Manning is good. This may also be the most under-exaggerated statement I've ever wlitten, because a quarterback like Peyton J\1anningis much better tl1angood. In facl~ as far as NFL ljuarterbacks go, you could form a more accurate description of the Indianapolis Colts super-pivot by dropping one of the "o"s in "good." After all, J\Janning's numbers are so L.'11ptessive that there must be a divine force manifesting itselfin the right mm of

this 28路-year.old. Regardless of how Manning racked up his superhero-like numbers, the Colts superstar was properly rewarded v;ith his second consecutive NFL Most Valuable Player honout in what is the easiest decision since Chretien oyer l\fulroney. Somehuw, the :l\vard wasn't unanimous as Manning received 47 of a possible 48 Vickgota singlevore. But then again, there were

[ understand that, with eight teams 1eftin the NFL playoffs, picking a winner at this point is a bold move. And it's even bolder when the Colts still have to fight their way out of the toughest conference in recent memory ..--13-3 Indy still has to overcome the defendi'1g Super Bowl champion 142 New England Patriots in the divisional playoffs. Andif they are able to topple New England on the road, the Colts win likely have to travel to 15-1 Pittsburgh and play the league's best defence in the Steelers. Represent ing the AFC in the Super Bowl thi s year ,vin be tougher than dealing with the Jennifer-Brad split. But if any team can \>;1n back-to-back road games against a pair of defensive juggemaurs, it is Peyton Manning'S high-octane offence. Manning is the Czar of confusing offensive sets, befuddling defences with his ahnostTourette's-like ability to bark random instmc.. tions and fake play calls before the snap. By the time Peyton gets the ball ill his hands, linemen are still trying to t'if,'ure out what "blue 18 Hy half October 74 right hatch postback" means. And if defences do figure out what the hell r.lanning is talking aho llt (and usually, it's noth .. ing), they still have to deal with the mostimpres .. sive offensive arsenal since the storming of ReceiYcrs Marvin Harrison, Reggie and Brandon are all prime-time accompany them Randy). And on i:OP of rhat, hall-of-fame bound,

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ballot, Manningv;as the only logical choice for MVP _.-- vot1ngi\Ianning as the best player is like voting Kobe Bryant as the 'world's best basketball-playing adultcrer.Mannjngwas simply dominating this season, brea king the 20.. year-old single.. season touchdo\vn record of 49 as weE as amassing 4,557 yards in a 121. 1 quarterback rating and a 13-3 record to boot. .And if these trends continue -,-- which they will- 1\ fanning will have another piece of hm:dware to add to his growing collection. Because the Indianapolis Colts are going to win the Sure1' Bo'\d.

to tYtakc it to the dance.

Manning is good enough to break records, good enough to the MVP. And even though th,~ big game is almost a month away, Peyton l\tan路 ning is good enough to \vin the Super Bowl. Remember, you heard i l here fust. amcguire@imrpint.uwaterloo.ca

Kadar: Warriors will battle for playoff spot McCrae said. "He just couldn't do it." Continued from page 29 J\fcCrae went on to say Kadai"s experience As fox Kadar, his job will be to battle with Western and \"\'irldsot for the final OUA \'Vest made him the righ t fit for the job, as she feels the \li/amors can overcome playoff spot. With Lheir poor start - the powerhouse clubs team sits with a 4-7-1 Laurier and Guelph all I'He's got a very diverse but assured berths, record aftet winning background both from the \Vaterloo finds themtheir last two games. "I like his apselves in a dog fight fOt conditioning side and the third and fmal inproach," I"fcCrae said. "[-Ie's been encourag.. also from the vite to the postseason .--- the final three teams ing yet demanding. coaching side" are a mere t,vo points The players should like Dave Taylor apart as ofJanuary 1I. his experience. When" General Manager, L.A. Kings ever you have a young, And although l\kCrae new, inexperienced _______________________ ._____,_. _______ . thinks its unfair to place team, a little more ex" perienced voice [like Kadar'sJ is rcasstli-ing." Kadar, who coached with UW men's bench boss Karl Taylor at Red Dcet College, takes over from BiHAntler, who had cmKhed lhe women's program since their inaugural OUA season in 2002-03. According to McCrae, the decision to a new coach was "".au,,,,, the athletic dt"hwrtn"W!1t

expectations on Kadar and his dub, she believes the \\'arriors are capable of reachingtheit fiI'st postseason ever. "Cenainlywecan [make the playoHsj," l\kCme said. \\'/e're in the mix." The \\'arr10rs are back in action Friday night when they host the York Lions at Columbia TCtC Fields at 7:30 p.m. U\Vwill then travel .,HU.CW.l<H to meet the 8-2-2 Gr)'phons at 2 p.m. amcguire@imprintuwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY. JANUARY 14, 2005

Sweep: Warriors twice top Mustangs Continued from page 27

ers in the opening frame. Western's Boucher responded 27 seconds after Metherel's goal to pull his team to within one goal. However, that would be all the Mustangs could manage as UW's FrankFazioandBrenneraddedinsurance goals as Waterloo went on to win

With 2:35 left in the second frame, Darlingthenaccidentally lifted the puck over the glass on a clearing attempt, which earned him a delay of game penalty. Coach Taylor decided that Ryan l'vfacGregor should serve the penalty for Darling. 4-l. As the penalty expired an observNext up for Waterloo will be the ant Adam Laurier Hawks (7Metherel, who 6-0). was in posses''W'henever we sion ofthe puck, play Laurier it's al"Whenever fed a brilliant ways a good riwe play pass to valry," said coach l'vfacGregorwho Taylor. Laurier it's was exiting the Of concern for always a penalty box. Waterloo will be The 'secondLaurier's large ice good rivalry," year left winger -Karl Taylor surface. "Asacoachthen went in all Men's Hockey Head Coach ingstaffwe'reworalone on Westried about the Olern's Boyce and ympic [sized] ice scored a beauty surface." backhand goal, However, as which eventually ended up being the long as the Warriors out-execute the game v-1.nner after the Mustangs were Golden Hawks, a win is not unattainonly able to add one more goal on the able according to Taylor. power play in the third period. Game time is set for 7:30 p.m. In Saturday's game, which saw the tomorrow night, January 15, at the two clubs ttavel to Waterloo from Waterloo Recreation Complex. London to square off, the Warriors again got off to a quick start. -with jiles from UW men's hockry Doug Spooner, second in team web site scoring, and Metherel, a fourth-year veteran, both tallied power play markrmc1achlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

GLENN BARTLEY

Warriors'defeneemen Ron Germain obstructs a Western Mustang player in WaterIoo~.4-1>vietory on Saturday, January 8.

Winless: volleyballers go nine without a set Continued from page 29

Still searching for answers

At 4-7 on the season, the Warriors shin fifth in the 0 U A's West conference. The Warriors hope to resurrect their playoffhopes when they face the Badgers, at Brock on Saturday,January 15, and then the Western Mustangs in London on January 19.

The Warriors men's volleyball failed to win a set for the ninth sttaight contest in losing their games to the McMaster Marauders and the Windsor Lancers over the past week.Both Brent Forrest and rookie Kostya Kovalenko had a posted stellar performances in the Mcl'vfaster game with

eight kills and three aces and six kills and two aces respectively. The Warriors, who sit in last place on the season with a record of 0-12, ttavel to Toronto on Saturday,January 15 to face the Ryerson Rams.

-With jiles from UW Athletics dmicak@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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