2004-05_v27_no27_Imprint

UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER

FEBRUARY 18, 2005

VOL 27, NO 27

IMPRINT. UWATERLOO.CA

Dupont paints OUAs with gold medal Stephen Utz

classic races] probably did not perfectly match the conditions but she rose above it. It was clear that conditioning Fifth-year Warriors veteran Andrea paid off for her."

Dupont ended the University ofWaConftrmed men's nordic skiing terloo's 21-year drought at the ~UA ~UA all-star and teammate Bryan Nordic Skiing Championships this Hughson, "Andrea's put in a lot of past weekend with two first-place ftn- effort over the past 10 years. This is sort ishes in the 5 km skating and 10 km of what you expect from that type of classic events. Dupont's victories race dedication." painted a little Waterloo black and But despite her enormous talent gold into an ~UA Championships and drive, Dupont's victory was never hosted by the University of Toronto taken for granted by the coaching staff that was otherwise dominated by the or her compatriots. Explained Reilly, "Once you get started it's anybody's Lakehead Thunderwolves. race.

What she did is a very, very large Dupont's two-day time total of 50:08 cleared Lakehead's Mallory Deane accomplishment."

The sheer elusiveness of victory and Emily Hayman by 1: 11 and 1: 18 respectively to deny Lakehead, who explains why, according to numerous won every other available medal except players, it can be difftcult to equate the for men's individual silver, a complete unending hours of work to the final goal. sweep of the championship.

The University ofWaterloo nordic m the skating event on Saturday, Fehruary 12, Dupont held off Eva skiers spend between 10-30 hours per ,Szabo of Carleton UniversilI,byat,nere week in direct physical conditioning '路_:W_iJl)"iI_"~""Idt' ~~'_~",,~~d~"~ afTernoon, the biochemisrty masters amount in regimented musde recovstudent offtcially ended the Warriors' ery.

"It's a sport that rewards maturity drought with a more convincing 41 second margin ofvictory over Haymatl and experience," offered Hughson.

"N othing should be taken for granted." in the two-lap classic event.

Adding to the Dupont had significanceofWathe races of her terloo's firstOUA career under tryIINordic skiing is nordic skiing title ing conditions since 1984wasthe to post times of such an unusual depth of strong 15:29 and 34:39 sport. Most of the competitors from in the two events Lakehead, that made her conditioning is Laurentian and overall ~UA individual but the Queen's, who women's chamcombined to take pion; for her exteam dynamic is eight of the top 10 ceptional indicritical to victory." all-star positions vidual effort, - Mike Reilly and all ofthe overDupont was men's nordic skier all team medals. named first Other Warri~UA all-star ors tried to put the and UW Athlete victory into perspective, even going so of the Week.

Thesemostrecentaccomplishments far as to suggest that the closest sports accentuate a tremendous season that equivalent would be the current previously saw her take the top spot in Cincinnati Bengals roster winning the three of her four preliminary races and Super Bowl. Considered Reilly, ''Well, garner OUA Athlete ofthe Weekhon- perhaps not quite. But it's close."

The Warriors once again looked to ours earlier this winter. strong individual performances to make The biochernistrymaster's student remained humble about her tremen- up for their overall men's team standdous accomplishments, citing the team ing, which held them off the podium effort that helped her achieve her goal. at ftfth place.

Racing best for the Warriors was "1 have a really supportive team," she clarified. "I think it's really important second-year hometown racer Bryan to have others around you that push Hughson. A contender for an indiyou to your limits and that's what I try vidual medal by virtue of his secondand fourth-place ftnishes in the classic to have."

The kudos came a little more freely and free races at the Eastern Canadian from men's nordic ski team member Championships, Hughson was denied Mike Reilly, who complimented the a medal by just 16 seconds to Guelph's newest champion on her drive and BrianSuke.

"My body just wasn't there in the determination. As Reilly offered, "Our skate race," lamented Hughson. "It choice of \vax on Sunday [during the SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

BRENT CURRY

Andrea Dupont stands, flanked by Lakehead Thunderwolves, on the podium with her gold medal. was a function of conditioning. My regimen was a little too tough and I had too much fatigue."

Cushioning the blow for the third-year biology student was his seventh place ~UA all-star ftnish to complement the individual achievement of teammate Andrew Rees, who rounded out the ~UA's top ten.

Wlith a core of stars such as Hughson and Rees, the only element keeping the Warriors from dominance at the podium for the foreseeable

future is depth. Commented Hughson, a veteran of seven years of competitive skiing, "This is such a young team. Maybe in a couple ofyears this team can be challenging [for the podium]."

Asthemostseniorsurvivingmemberof this year's team, Hughsonenvisions a superior training program for next season. "There were problems with the team practice organization this year;" he explained. ''Next year we need to split the groups to accommodate [amoreintenseandJ effective train-

ing schedule."

Hughson'S thoughts are shared by several of his teammates. Merely in passing, Reilly clarifted this, sayingthat, "Nordic Skiing is such an unusual sport. Most of the conditioning is individual but the team dynamic is critical to victory."

The Warriors and their coaching staff hope to put all of the pieces togetherand build on this year's exciting individual performances before next v.mterwhen the 2005-2006 nordic ski season begins.

What.eyoup'pl.lop rading week?

Oilkls

"Thankfully catching up on my readings."

Max Allen

"I'm doing my stats 443 take home midterm."

Mike Bertrand

38 honours arts

38 actuarial science

5. Williams or Symposium 9. Sandpaper stone 14. Austin Powers nemesis 15. Smallest bit 16. Polynesian archipelago 17. Card game 18. Scenes of action 19. Big rig 20. Crime-fightingreflector 23. Baby dogs 24. Move along the conversation with a word 28. 1960s protests 31. Re-inttoduced classic car 33. Woodcutter 34:. Syndrome of the chronic thief 36. Shott women's movement 37. Move to the lee side 38. Creati9'eelement 39. President's assistant 40. Math counting base 41. Dutch mayor 45. Starts this clue

46. Derriere 47. Unhealthy a,ttraction 48. Sharp writing tool 50. Geographicalregion 51. Tests or quizzes 57. Musical direction very 60. Votinga,gainst

61. Uptown Waterloo clothing retailer 62. Visitor 63. Religious symbol 64. Uptown Waterloo stteet 65. Make less intense 66. Narrow road 67. Fender bender product

Down 1. l\fake a funny joke 2. What the groom tells his wife 3. Maize species 4. Dart deliverer 5. Caribbean folk music

26. Oxygen compounds 27. Highway 11 burger joint 28. Winter sporting goods 29. Most sick 30. Itsy-bitsy 31. Homer's wife 32. Add ingredients 35. The next frontier?

39. Attacked physically 41. Aluminium ingredient 42. Partofthe UrsaMinorand Ursil\fajor 43. Glacial deposit 44.Wa,ger 49. Smallest amount 50.Chekov 52. Chief good of the postal service

"""""4$lis\4•..1'¥il.",• • "

"Going to Egypt to visit my family and not coming backl" Ahmed Farrakha 38 computer science

9. Baltic republic 10. Gethitched 11. Trendy bird meat 12. Mythic bird of prey 13. Tibetan cattle 21. Mother's sister 22. Hindu princess 25. Rock salt

"Snowboarding for the first time and hoping not to get hurt," Laura Borrelli

an

.'!!II'

54. Slime

55. Norse goddess of destiny 56. Petty fight 57. Turkish military leader 58. Quizno's product 59. Partially enclosed body of water nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

48 sociology

1. "1WO DIES" EQIV'ST

SHIPS COLLIDE; ONE

" "'Going to a gay bar or club."

Kathleen Johnson and Sheena Hillier

nDoing it with my girlfriend in Montreal, over and over.n Steve Bond

28 rec and leisure

48 sociology

UP WHEN

6. "FREE ADVICE: OUT IN THE COLD" LEDNUB

7. "ALCOHOL ADS PROMOTE _ _" GRIDNNIK

8. ''TEACHER _ _ IDLE KIDS" RESSKIT

9. "FISH LURK IN _ _ "

ASSMERT

___ BY

"Skiing in Muskoka and drinking hot chocolate."

Lorraine Colpitts 38 health studies

nNot thinking about SCrIOQII. Sarika Chabra 48 sociology

Final Quotation:

" _ _ APPEAL TO POPE"

10. "STOLEN TREE" NIPGINAT

FOUND BY

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18,2005

development for students CDlIe.... llldPess.s imiPlllmllllallIoIlcy -P.II.

Flight 93 remembered by UW architect Alex Doukas SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

"Somelay\V'teaths, some gather to say prayers for the lost. I express this loss through design," reflects Kep Lum, a masters student in architectureatthe Universityof\Vaterloo. Lumis one of five fmalists in a competition to design the national memorial honouring the passengers of Flight 93.

Some of the most horrific images ever to be televised are those of the World Trade Center towers collapsing, the south tower at 10:05 a.m. and the north at 10:29 a.m., September 11,2001.

As this sequence 'was repeated on television for ,Yceks, many North Americans have the events etched in their minds.

For Lum, the fate of the passengers of Flight 93 is as important to commemorate as that of the victims of the World Trade Center. The plane crashed over a Pennsylvania field after the passengers struggled with hijackers, killing all including

33 passengers, 7 crew members and the 4 hijackers. According to evidence from the 9/11 Commission, hijacker ZiadJ arrah deliberately crashed the plane as passengers attempted to overpower their captors.

IMPRINT STAFF The memorial site spans the field where the ,plane crashed and totals 880 hectares. "The meUniversities/Colleges morial intends to capture the courage and sacrifice of the passengers and crew ofFlight 93 as the The luminous roofscape dissects the UniversityofWesteni Ontario's annual Blind tragedy unfolded, with one bold gesture," Lum dim landscape with light. said. "This experience is translateq and expressed Ball will take place this year on February 26. Terry through a luminous roofscape that mirrors the Hoddinott, who is blind himself and is heading that this role lies in the individual but I feel that flight path of Flight 93 - from Newark to San the committee organizing the event, explained Francisco and then to \Vashington." the individual is only the first step. \X'hat hapthat it will be a typical evening of di-nner, dancing In his design submission, Lum emphasizes pened on Flight 93 is proof of ... a sacrificial act and auctions,\vith one notable difference: "All the sanctity of the "sacred ground" - a term that not meant to protect the indi-vidual, but stranguests will eat blindfolded. Ifyou peek you refers to crash site itself. The proposal, "aims to gers they had never met." will get fined. It is a lot of fun, and gives the transform a common field into a sanctuary that Director ofthe UWS~hoolof Architecture in person a chance to experience what I go through resonates a sense of individual and collective Cambri<lge Rick Haldenby, extended congratulaevery day." All proceeds \\,-jllgo to the Canadian memory, sacrifice and loss." . tions to Lum and pledged support for his project: Retinoblastoma Society, and it is hoped the Lum's design, entided, "(F)UGHT: The Lu"[Lum] is in a tough spot since all the other evening will raise awareness about the disease, minous Roofscape," was selected from among finalists have substantial support in their firms or which affects one in every 18,000 births. mote than 1,000 entries. Candidates included as dean of a professional school. The community professional landscape designers and architecture . of the School ofArchitecture will support him."

Canada firms. "Itis a humbling experience, not just to be He also said thatLum's selection did not surprise amongst great architects, but also to be honoured him, as many prestigious awards have gone to A truck driver was found guilty on Tuesday of \Vith the opportunity to develop a memorial for U\Varchitecture students in the past decade, most stealing a shipment of 50,000 cans of recently the Canada Council Prix de Rome for thepassengets and ctewofFlight93who sacrificed Moosehead beer. Wade Haines was scheduled themselves to save those that they don't even Emerging Practitioners, awarded to Taymoore to drive the shipplent from St.John to Etobicoke know," Lum saido'This sacrificialgestureis furme Balbaa, a graduate of the program. last August but never ~ved; the tractor-trailer the most humbling moment."

Finalists receive $25,000 US to develop their was later found runningin a parking lot in Grand To Lum, the submission is more than a mere projects for appraisal by a jury in June. The Falls, New Brunswick, v.':ith most of the beer project. "I feel that all of us have a small role to winning design will be announced' Au st. ' . ... . ik~ .... ~.dl:w!_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ play on this ~ befo.tcv~~tby ,t:L----lscanbe~ttl.~路 TL~ birthday cards to an ex-girlfriend,and signed the' flight93memorialp.rojea.6rg. back ofone card, "Copyright. Made in Canadian jail by the beer bandit." Her testimony in court helped lead to his conviction. Moral of the story: givingan ex-girlfriend the clue that gets you incarcerated is generally a bad idea. of 2002 by the Feds food bank. The second Brandon Sweet As a result, his spendinglitnitwas

Complaints against campaigning candidates Bianca Tong IMPRINT STAFF

No election is complete without its fair share of complaints, allegations and slander - and this year's Feds election takes the cake. At press time, 12 complaints had been filed to the Election Committ<;e, with three against one candidate and tWo against two others. Seven of the complaints were addressed by the Election Committee on Wednesday night. All had to do with violation of section G.l ofthe election procedure, which deals with rules for candidates' behaviour.

AnittaSatkunarajah, candidate for \'P internal ofTeamAIR, had three complaints lo<lged against her over the course of the campaign period, all of which were allegations of lying, in violation of section G .1.a of the election procedure. The allegations were made in connection to her statements on her campaign website, and at various SLC forums: the media forum on February 4, and the SLC forum on February 14. Satkunarajah was fined 15 per cent or $67.50 of her spending litnit for citing the motivations for launching theJ anuary Orange Ribbon Campaign in aid of tsunami victims as "a blatant move to bolster the presidentialaspirationsofacertainexecutivernernbei'on her website. \~'hen asked, Satknnarajah declined to comment aboutthe complaints lodged against her.

Fellow teammate VP administration and finance candidate Yasid Gilbert additionally had two complaints filed against him, the fomier causing his spending litnitto be reduced by 15 per cent, for stating on his website that "For the last 3-4 years, Feds has not embarked on a single venture to help out those in need." The Election Committee proved the invalidity of his claim by citing the meal exchange organized in November

complaint lodged after the February 14 SLC forum was overturned after his alleged statement about fellow VPAF candidate J\.1att Jermyn was found to be weaker than the allegers. Gilbertalso declined to comment.

Complaints were not litnited to Team AIR; John Andersen, the presidential candidate ofTeam Blue and currentVP internal was also subjectto an allegation ofmisrepresentation and an allegation oflying. Regarding the first complaint the Election Committee stated that Andersen "interpreted the allegeis statementto be an apology fordisrespectful behaviour [at the Feds media forum] when it was intended as a qualified admission . of the alleger's hopes that she had not offended him in any way as it was not her intention, and ifshe had, she apologized." Because he had published these details onto his campaign website blog,Andersen was found to be guilty of misrepresentation and was thus fined 15 per cent of his spending litnit.

In response, Andersen is asking for the decision to be looked at again: '1 honestly don't know whattheyused to justify the decision,itis curtenrly under appeal as a 'frivolous allegation.'" Andersen was also fined 15 per cent for "conveying false impression" in regards to Joseph Marquez and his feelings about the current situation of Compass Catholic Outreach's status, bringinghis total spending litnit reductions to $135.

The sole non-executive candidate to havecomplaints lodged against him had the highest proportion of his spending litnit removed. Kunal Gupta, candidate for engineering Senator, violated election procedure section G.l.d by sending out a mass e-mail to students during the polling period. He also violated section G. 1. fby posting three distinct poster designs; which had not been previously approved by the chiefelectoral officer

levied 4 times, for a total of$60, or 60 per cent of his budget.

International Lawrence Lam, VPI candidate from StudentsFirst, ParthiKandavel, VPAF candidate Were your Valentine's Daypians more romantic from Team AIR anq.. Sabrina Bowman, \'PI than clasping your lover's hands through aheavcandidate from Team Blue round out the remainily guarded secUrity gate on the U.S.-Mexico ing three complaints filed. All three allegations border? That's how several star-crossed couples were yet again in regards to violation of election displayed their love this year, with Mexicans procedure section G.1.a, which stipulates no lying. working in the U.S. ~eeting their lovers at the Both Kandavel and Bowman were deemed to two-tnile-long strip where they held hands, stole have been in the wrong: Kandavel was fined for kisses and exchanged Valentine's Day notes his incorrect identification of the' EAC as the and trinkets between 4.6 meter taIllIletal authorof"the OUSA/ CASAreviewcommittee~s bars. The note-passing had to be kept on the report evaluating the Federation of Students' down-low as not to alert the plentiful U.S. membership in these organizations," while BowBorder Patrol, who are ordered every February 14 man was levied for stating that she was the "only to dissuade the passing of notes and gifts due to candidate with diversity on [her] platform." suspicions of drug trafficking.

There are currently appeals to some of these complaints, which will be addressed in the corning A lottery number which had gone two years days. This year has been an exceptionally busy year without being drawn finally made an appearfor complaints; last year's election saw no comance last week in Venice, Italy's national lotto plaints, and the only decision made by the Election . game. Lotto, which is a highly respected tradition Committee was made regarding presidential canin Italy, allows players to bet any amount of didate Will Hamilton's eligibility to tun. money on numbers ranging from one to 90, and In addition to this election brouhaha there has the absence of the number 53 in all draws since been much squabbling regarding "over-politiciz2003 had led countless Italians to spend large ing" and fairness with the appearance of ticket amounts of money, thinking the number was names and photos on ballots. In the end, as due to reappear. Italians had since collectively bet students should have noticed, both photos ;md the equivalent of over $5.6 billion Canadian, and tickets did appear. The results ofthe Feds election the continual e\Tasiveness of the number 53 in the ,vill be released at 11 a.m. on Friday, February 18. lotto had resulted in several Italians betting Students can also check outlmprinfs website <?n away their life savings and taking their own Friday for the election results. lives in despair. Recently, Italy's economy minFull texts ofthe complaints and theitrespective ister appeared on prime-time nT, urging people decisions can been found athttp://lists.feds.ca/ to "use their brains" when betting. Doesn't that pipermail/ fedselection. defeat the whole purpose of playing the lotto? bianca@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

4

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18,2005

UW students step up to raise AIDS. awareness in Africa The team of eight consists of a hard working and altruistic lot who come from diverse academic backgrounds congregating for a common cause. On the itinerary is promoting honest and It's a well-known fact that AIDS is a silent killer open discussions of sexuality and HIV IAIDS that has claimed millions of lives in Africa at \vith the hope of educating the youth about the staggering rates. Unfortunately 50 per cent ofthe dangers and risks but also empowering them to demographic claimed by the plague belong to the make positive changes in their life. The students fittest group of the nation, the age group 15-24.

In fact, the African AIDS endemic has the potengo on this journey fully aware that not only will tial to destroy a generation. The University of they be attempting to change lives but their lives Waterloo International Health Development and outlook will change substantially as well, Association and Youth Challenge International Third year science and business studentArchna will be running an HIV I AIDS peer education Gupta, student organizer and executive director ofUWIHDA, explained, "As a global citizen I program in rural regions of Tanzania over the feel that we are all responsible for the world that course of five weeks in June andJuly of 2005---':' we live in and that we should ensure that it is a focusing on working with African youth on safe and healthy place for everyone now and for HIV I AIDS prevention and education. future generations to come." Gupta finds while (J\)J'IHDA(YCI recognized that youth are more living and working within rural communities of responsive to messages delivered by young people their own age and are drawn to international Tanzania, the group will be able to take the "grass collaboration. In addition, YO emphasizes peer roots" approach working with the youth who have been so drastically affected by this disease education and youth development.

The program will be based on a small team and its consequences. . model of four UW participants working to- .

Allison Mullin, 4B anthropology, uses this opportunity to interact ",cith her subjects, "cith gether in each region to implement the peer whom she has only had prior contact via print, education program in collaboration with local while working on her honours essay on AIDS youth leaders. In the five weeks that they are orphans and how they have coped over the past there, they will spend the first week in Dar Es eight months. Confusion, myth and ignorance Salam as a group and this is where their training about AlDS has been (tieled by people in power and orientation ",.rill take place with the country throughout the continent. Mullin understands NGO,AfricaAlive. For the remaining fourweeks, hllO groups of four will spend the remaining the urgent need for education to lead to the weeks in identified rural communities. eradication of these misconcepuons.

Fatema Nahar

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Erika Villanueva, who aspires to bea physician, longs to contribute to the desperate need for health care practitioners in the sub-Saharan continent. She wants to experience first-hand how to contribute resources that might help in the avoidance of getting AlDS by advocating knowledge and education.

In hopes of aiding and sharing experiences with youth,IYfary Carothers, a health studies student, hopes to collaborate with the Tanzanian youth to create a program that would promote positive sexual health. "Traveling to Tanzania and . experiencingwhatthesepeople haveto face everyday might help me learn to appreciate what we have and motivate me to reach out futther to those in need on both a national and international perspective." She addresses thatitis easy for us to conform to western schools of thought, particularly in biomedicine and to place blame on the individuals without understanding the social, . political or economic context.

Rohini Mathur wants to complete a masters program in public health specializing in international development or women's health. She has worked \\cith youth in the past and found that, in addition to being able to educate them about something so valuable, the most gratif)mgpartis being able to form relationsqips and get to know them as individuals. The fact that the AIDS epidemic is so prevalent in Africa has also motivated her to want to be a part of this project.

Havinglived with a family friend who has been working in international development his whole

FATEMA NAHAR

Left to right, bottom to top: Mary Carothers, Aaron Matthews, Rohini Mathur, Erika Villanueva, Archna Gupta, Allison Mullin, Mike Martin, Khalid Janmohamed life,Aaron:Matthews, third year computer science, has often felt a desire to undergo intematibnal development and to give to back to the world.

See AWARENESS page 5

.The iml'ort,a!lce of ].{eel'ing y~ur priorities inplace~.~~__;., , ~

Ah, the business guru, the proud purveyor of optimistic informll:tion, such as promising to produce greater profits for your business. Heed their call but listen carefully as some ",':ill promise the world but fall far short of the goal, while others may provide you with just the right piece of information at just the right iime"Sometimes, the advice givers cap even act as a sort of gateway drug: in tandem with rushes of adrenaline and sensation during inspirational lectures, the guru promises improvements for your business. Yet the benefits are not always sustainable in the long term and can leave the' unsuspecting business begging for more, more, more.

Still, throughout my studies I have come across one or two stories from business gurus that I admit that I have found to be quite helpful, and a bit less ephemeral than a temporary high. One particular business guru, for

pation in a type of career often overlooked by {'example, was trying a Chicken Soup for the society - the academic career.

Soul-esque approach, by promising to improve For some the term is an oxymoron, used the "heart and soul" of your business. Part of only jokingly when referring to the number of his lecture went a little something like this: keggers that one manages to get trashed at Life is extremely complex; it is. like we are all during a school term. For others, though, the trying to juggle four balls in the air. Three of university years are a sensitive time, where the the balls are made of glass; these represent slightest deterrence from the personal life, family and pursuit of academic excelhealth. The fourth ball is Life is extremely lence is seen as catastrophic. rubber, representingwork.

Unfortunately, though, With all the distractions in complex, it is like we $nnot always foresee the life, keeping up with our we are all trying to problems that ",':ill befall us own personal juggling while at school. Throughroutine can at times be quite juggle four balls in out my time as 'an' orientadifficult. Sometimes, we tion leader, off-campus don the air. slip up. A ball drops. In or just plain student, I have these times, it is. safest to seen peers encounter a wide drop the rubber ball. The range of dilemmas. Family members fallen ill, glass balls - our personal life, health and friends succumbing to extreme psychological family - may crack or even shatter if they are pressure or others who just fall too far behind dropped, sometimes to disastrous or irreversin their classes. ible results.

These events may at fIrst seem like the end . To someone who has worked full-time jobs of the world, but once we get the chance to step both before and during university, this information has come in handy more than once.

Work is an important priority, bl,lt he'alth, family and personal ,life have to come first. The advice has been no less useful during my partici-

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back and achieve perspective we find that, in

the words of the Buddha - "this, too, shall pass." l\fidterm season, like final exam season, is a particularly stressful time for university students. For those who are facing crises in their own lives, do not fear: there is always help.

Students in residence have their dons and firstyear students not in residence can turn to the Off-Campus Dons for a listening ear. Also throughout the year U\V's Counseling Services provides free counseling for students in need.

Counseling Services can be quite busy, so you may have to wait a week or two to getsomeone's ear, especially during exam time. However, if . you're facing an extreme crisis just let them know and they ,,,':ill do their best to get you in immediately; Remember, it's your academic career- not your whole life. Don't forget to take time to nourish the things that are important: personal life, health and family. adilts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

5

FRIDAY.FEBRUARY 18,2005

Awareness: UW' African endeavour Continued from page 4 Khalid Janmohamed, 4B compu, te~ engineering, has been aware of the social problems in the developing countries firsthand since his exchange term at Singapore and personal traveling. His approach '-vill be to try and relate to the youth whom he will .interact with on a personal level.

Janmohamed finds it critical, in the first few days, that the groups in a given village establish strong friendship, for tt;ust to be consequenitally built upon. Once done, it will be easier to get the message across Adding to the diversity, l'vfike Martin, 4B envtronment and resource studies, aims in the future to proponent positive action in regards to global quality oflife. He says that the time he volunteers in Africa will positively influence the growth of the continuing project not just by the time he spends in Tanzania, but by his efforts here in Canada before and after this project.

UWIHDA and YCI have recognized the need for youth collaboration and has initiated a project to bring the world one step closer. For more information please visit lJW1HDA at www.uwihda.org.

Campus in pieces does no· good InarecentRtrom'article,BobRosehart was almost bubbling when he claimed that satellites are feasible because you can . ·centtalize certain services to the main •

I \",rote last tenn about U\Xc"s planned satellite campus in Kuwait and while thatgoalis slowly approaching, themore distressing plan is the current one for a satellitecampusinKitchenerinadditton . to the existing campus in Cambridge. :rhe presidents of the three local campuses were cited recently as praising the merits of satellite campuses. :rhe formula works like this: the university wants to expand, but in the absence of money or empty land, they cannot. ElSewhere, some local community wants to revitalize its downtown core and sets up a development fund Someonewavesamagicwandandvoila: we have buildings full ofstudents ready to spend theirmoneyatlocal busines~s.

Or so the fairy tale goes.

As Jeff Henry said last fall when I asked him about Cambridge, ''It would . be nice if someone had considered the needs ofthe students before developing "• these plans." Cambridge students are exttemelyisolated from the rest ofcampus. Thecarridealoneisover 30minutes in clear tr;lffic. Cambridge students are also notable to takeminors orparticipate inextra-cun:icularactivitieswiththesame ease that main campus students do. A satellite campus is no good unless it is abletoofferthe samelevelofbasic service and opportunities as the main campus.

For instance, Laurier's Brantford campus is effectively its own university save that it happens to share certain resources with the main campus: :rhey even have a separate students' council.

Cambridge is very much an isolated island of student life outside u\V.

deals with primarily off-campus people an)'\vay, so two admissions departments might not be necessary. Ho:vever, the majorityofuniversityservicesaremeant· to serve students and as suchrequirefaceto-facecontattthebookstore,thepolice, the PAC facilities, health services, the Registrar's office; all these services need students as the essential element. For a small population, having a well staffed service onsiteis econornicallyunviable, leaving students in a lurch. Just ask a Cambridge student how much they like the thought of corning to main campus just to sort out an administrative error~ :rhe models for this kind of satellite campus are high-tech companies, who, through thewonders oftechnqlogy, can have seamless operations spanningfive locations across international borders.

However, these companies rely heavily one-mailor telephone communieation, not to mention a central setverthathosts all important documents for the company. No matter how hard you tty to make it fit, university still requires faceto-face contact and the opportunity for students ofdifferent disciplines to interactwith each other.

Video-conferencingdoesnotwork well for lectures.:rhis is why things will not work for the students of these satellite campuses, but rather only for the bean counters of Needles Hall and as community boosters fordyinginnercity cores. Funny, no one wants to live near students, but everyone w~ts their Ploney. Ouch. . Ths is yourwotld, the orie that they . tell you to want. nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Corrections The following names were misspelled in last week's edition ...

Cl Cl Cl

Pat Borrelli Jameel Mohamed Rida Rehmani

Also, uES/IS Senate" was ihcorrectly spelled .

Imprint regrets the errors

Teach Ellglish Overseas .ESL Teaeher T'rainmg Courses

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6

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2005

Undercurren developing through UW conference Rebecca Temmer IMPRINT STAFF

Stellar turnout for the University of Waterloo International Student Development Conference at St. Paul's on Saturday indicated that there might be broad interest in the college'S proposed International Development Studies program., The program featured eight·panels of graduate and undergrad~ate presentations from a crosssection of faculties at the university.

The panels were followed by environmental policy specia1istAnil Gupta from the Asia Branch of the Canadian International Development Agency. His presentation focused on the changing policy focus that CIDA is pursuing to become more program oriented.

Gupta described some of the efforts his branch is undertaking in Asia currendy, and

added, "we need to have larger programs to get into the structural problems ofpoverty." He also answered a number of questions from the audience on a range otissuc:s from how CIDA uses its money to the concept of tied aid. A student in the crowd asked what kind of knowledge base would be useful for someone considering work'ing""ith CIDA. Gupta responded, "governance is it word you hear more and more and it's increasing in importance. As well, living and working in developing countries is very llnportantin order to get more hands-on experience."

Experience is an area that the students makingpresentations excelled in. Many of the presentations included elements of field research and experience from countries such as Peru and Ghana.

Vanessa Nicholas, who described the vicious cycle of poverty that effects street chil<;lten

quite a success by any standards," he said. in Mexico, spent time in Mexico City Iivingwith a family whose mother had grown up on the UWIDSC was organized by a group of stustreets. dentS under the direction ofProfs. Steffanie Scott Jen McGowan, a 4B geography student who • from the department of geography and Tanya was one ofthe student organizers of the conferKorovkin (rom political science. Dr. Scott.was ence, said, ''we're proving that there's an underimpressed by how smoothly the conference,vent. current in international development and we "I was able to delegate a lot to the students. want to start talking about it more. There are all We had a great team and great sponsor support [from St. Paul's]," she said. '''The quality of the these groups on campus and we're starting to get 'linkages. It's coming together and showing the presentations was very high and the r~ of undercurrent is coming to the surface." topics was just amazing."

The conference was timely, as McGowan This year's conferencewas enoughofa success pointed out, because St. Paul's is looking into that the organizers will be hosting annual events. startingan international developmentprogram at Dr. Scott mentioned the possibility ofmakingit the college. GrahamBrown, principalatSt. Paul's, a joint effortwith the University of Guelph and agreed and confirmed that adding the conege Wilfred Laurier as well Information about the would like to implement a program that focuses conference can be found at uwidsc.uwaterloo.ca onthestrengt:hsoftheuniversity. ''The conference was highly successful and well attended. It was rtemmer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

.UW connects with art and technology

Christine Loureiro IMPRINT STAFF

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UW mourns Val O'Donovan Former UW chancellor andfoooder of COM DEV, Val O'Donovan, died Saturday, Feburary 12, atage 68. His lifeis remembered with praise from UWPresidentDavidJohnston and former PresidentJames Downey.

O'Donovan served as U\1V"s chancellor forsix years, endinginJune2003. He~as a member of the Order of Canada and has been a generous benefactor to UW, creating endowed research chairs in the facultyofarts and faculty ofengineer. ing; and donating a number of rare historical volumes to the UW IibtalJ. "Our university community and indeed all Waterloo Region, has lost a wonderful friend, innovator and leader;" said Johnston. ''\\i'e are saddened by his passing¥1d extend our sincerest condolences to his wife Sheila and family."

"W'e shall always treasure everything Val did and stood for at the University of Waterloo," Johnston said.

"He was th~ perfect chancellor," added Downey. "He had the mind of an engineer and the soul of a poet. He also had an authentic interest in young people, and took delight in the act of conferring degrees. In fact, itwas always a challenge to get Val to cut short his conversations ,vith them so thatwe could keep convocation moving." , .

He was born in Ireland and received his professional engineering accreditation in England, inventing a new type ofmicrowave multiplexer in 1962 and winning the best paper award in the Journal ofthe Institution ofElectronic and Radio Engineers. O'Donovan founded satellite-equipmentmaker COMDEV in 1974,movingitfrom Montreal to Cambridge in 1979 to capitalize on the talent pool at area univt;rsities.

School of architecture connects to Cambridge through art UW architecture professors, :Michael EImitt and Anu Banerji, are working to expand the notion of what architects really do with their exhibit,Joumeys II: A Retrospective of Recent and Ongoing Interests, now showing at the Cambridge Centre for the Arts ..

The ''veryeclecticgroupingofwork-,,-bytwo kindJ;ed spirits over the past 3O-ood yeap allows people to understand that architects don't

only design buildings, that the desigll process lends itself to the creation of many other things," said EImitt. The creative collaborations connect thearchitecture school with "the heart ofaresidenrial/ commercialarea."

Banerji's\vorksrangefromsmallwatercolours to mixed media and four-by- four footlarge acrylics, dating from the early-1990s to present day.

Banerji, a native of Calcutta, India, has set the works primarilyinhis counttyoforigin, the works, "about memory, events and landmarks." One of the larger pieces, tided "After Tsunami," began years ago but remained unfinished until this past

December.

Elmitt is showing a range of furniture and design development sketches for £Umitlmll,., je\velry, as well as a racing shell prototype fashioned from carbon fibre, Kevlar and mahogany veneer.

The architectS hope toreacha broader audience with their show, instead of the usual faculty, staff and students .

This is not the first time the professors have collaborated. They published a design book BetJvee!l Ljl1CS:jWlI Doodles to Conpositiol1, in 1994.

The exhibition continues through to February 26, at the Cambridge Centre for the Arts on 45 Thome St. Adrriission is free.

Hagey Lecture examines technology in society Renowned scientist Ursula Franklin presents the HageyLecture "ThinkingaboutTechnology: Defining Technology as Practice," on Wednesday, March 2 at7:3Op.m. in the HageyHallHumanities Theatre.

Franklin is internationally recognized for her groundbreaking work in the field of metallurgy· and has also worked tirelessly to bring a humanitarian and feminist voice to the world of science and technology.

She is also presenting a student colloquium on l\farch 3 at 10:30 a.m. in Davis Centre 1302, where she will address questions pertaining to the Hagey

Lecture.

The firstwoman to be given the tide ofuniversity professor at University ofToronto, Franklin continues to be actively involved in humanitarian, feminist and environmental activities. Born in Germany in 1921, she began her career during World War II and spent time in a Nazi prison £amp as her mother was Jewish.

She has also been awarded the Pearson Peace Medal and was made a Companion of the Order of Canada in 1992.

Admission to the lecture is free. Tickets are - availab~at theHagey HallTheatre Box Office and from the UWFacultj Association at 888-4567 ext.

3787. ' cloureiro@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY. FEBRUARY 18,2005

PINION Writinga

Imprintis a student newspaper and in my mind, this is a unique thing. Allow me taexplain it little bit ofwhatI think a student newspaper should be.

In addition to the usual - informing students about the campus news - a student newspaper can be more than your average newspaper.

Since the audience for the paper will always be young and well educated, a student newspaper can afford to be a little bit more edgy than other ne~papers. Ifwe want to do an article about tattoos, one about how to give great cunnilingus and discuss the studentgovemmentelectionin thesame , issue, we can.

Imprint is published by Imprint Publications Student Life Centre 1116 University ofWaterloo \'\'aterloo, ON N2L 3Gl

utwhatthe t ers won't t nch

Wbenitcomesto Valentine's Day, we can have a sex survey rather than mediocre articles about 'what to buy your sweetie when she already has five diamond necklaces. Hopefully this is not news, but our audience is young and sex is fun. \Vby not go as far as quizzing our readers about 路the fun and funny things about sex? When else will we be able to do this kind of thing? I guarantee you the Recordwill never run this kind of a feature.

We can P楼sh the limits because we not only are writing for an audience of young educated people (whowe hope are mature enough to talk about sex), but also because we are almost entirely run by student volunteers.

If you out there have a problem with our new sex columnist, consider this: her column, as with every column on Imprints pages, was voted in by the "Volunteers who are staffhere.

In simpler terms, we do what we do because we can. All of our content

way. The Record and the Daify Blilletin reported on the story. They both treated itin a clinical way, making sure to get the cold, hard facts reported.

Iupriflt, since it is not a daily newspaper, had the advantage of relying on cold, hard facts which had alteady been A student related. We respected the wishes of Patricia's friends, who "''fote the obitunewspaper can ary as they saw fit. Patricia was amemafford to be a little ber of the UW community and we路 were ab~e to allow her peers to write bit more edgy about her in a manner that they felt appropriate.

Another UW community issue.

This newspaper, in addition to came up with Phil Weiner's column in being one run by and for students, is theJanuary 21 issueofImpriflt. Weiner's opinion, which I do not personally a paper that caters to a relatively small community. The ~' community is agree with, was one that I felt was not a particularly close-knit one, but important to the UWcommunity. He wehave our own culture and we should addressed the issue of cliques that he respond to it. feltwere based solely onethnicity. This is sOl;nething thatis visible on campus For example, when UW student Patricia Vepari passed away, Inprint , and something many others probably was able to handle the issue in a unique wonder about. The issue was not is grounded in Imprints policies, which call for a strict adherence to editorial integrity. Within this base, I encourage our writers to push the limits.

broached in the most atticulate or tactful manner, but it did generate quite a bit ofdiscussion on our opinion pages.

This is a case of, in my opinion, defending \'\'einer's right to speak freely even though I don't agreewim what he has to say. Butitis also acase of allOV!ing the issue to be put out in the open and discussed amongmemb~rs of the community. I've he~rd through the grapevine that Weiner's editorial was actually the subject of discussion in a political science class on campus.

Facilitating discussions about issues relevant to our community is one of the most worthwhile things Imprint can do. This newspaper can be a rare expression of the student voice found here. Imprinfs staff and writers can delve into issues that other newspapers would ITot touch ...vith a ten-foot pole. Isn't that fantastic? I mink so. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Be damned our' heathen souls!

The German philosopher Georg Hegel believed that, progress came from the synthesis of two opposing ideas. Imagine for a moment you and your best friend want to run a company and have completely different ideas fl.bout how that company should be run. You argue for a while, you question the other's parentage, you get red in the face.

But when you're dOfle you have a compromise - a fusion of your two ideas that is superior to either of your ideas on their own. Why is it

that nobody seems to take this approach to religion?

You can probably tell ftom that last semence mere mat this is going to be a rollercoaster ofa column. Sometimes I come to fitql conclusions.

This is not going to be one of those times. You're probably going to either love me or hate me by the end, I only ask that you read this whole thing and thm send the angry letters - i f need be. . \Vbyare there groups out there on this planet (and on this campus) bent on converting the masses to theirreligion? I realize that they're only trying to save myevetlastingsoul. How qllaint.

But isn't it rather arrogant to believe that your religion is the one tmc religion and must be thrust upon everyone else? Do you not know? Have you not heard? There are other religions

IMPRINT UNIVERSITY

OF

WATERLOO

STUDENT NEWSPAPER

E.ditorial Staff Editor-in-chief, Laura Katsirdakis editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca ,\ssistant Editor, Tim Alamenciak Cover Editor, Kelley Dilkes Nev.路s Editor, Bianca Tong News Assistant, Rob Blom Opinion Editor, Jeff Anstett Opinion Assistant, Mark Johnson Features Editor, Scott Houston Features Assistant, Darren Hutz Arts Editor, Dave George-Cosh Arts Assistant, Ian Blechschmidt Science Editor, Penny Michelle Rorke Science Assistant, J\[ichael L. Davenport Sports Editor, Sarah Allmendinger Sports Assistant, Dan Micak Photo Editor, Mohammed Jangda Photo AssiStant, Kirill Levin Graphics Editor, Julian Apong Graphics Assistant, Hitoshi Murakami

Friday, February 18, 2005 Student Life Centre 1116 UniverSity ofWaterioo Waterloo, ON N2L 3Gl .

out there!

The Camplls Crllsade for Christ, Gtmula website (yes:'tb.e CCC is a

multi-campus organization) says, "There are currently more than 6 billion people on our planet ... Over 4 billion of them haven't made the decision to follow Christ ... and 1.5 billion of them have never even heard the gospel." The website presents this all as if it's a cryin' shame! Why' must everyone be preached at?

It's been pointed out to me (by one of my Evangelical Christian friends) that even if she did wan,t to convert the world to Christianity (which she doesn't) beating people over the head with a book wouldn't do much good. Atle~st, not neatly as much good as leading by example and living a healthy, positive life.

Others will see and imitate those Vol. 27, No. 27 F:519.884.7800 P:519.888.4048 imprint.uwaterloo.ca

\'feb Editor, Bhavithra Aloysious \V' eb Assistant, vacant Systems Administrator., Javed Iqbal Lead Proofreader, Dean Wl;elton Proofreader, Ernie Lau Proofreader, Ruhan Rahman Proofreader, Kaitlin Ojamae Proofreader, Shauna Solomon

Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Andrew Dilts Vice-president, Erin Gilmer Treasurer, Neal Moogk-Soulis Secretary, Margie Mansell Staff liaison, Durshan Ganthan staff.liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Office Staff General manager, Catherine Bolger cathy .bolge~@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & production manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Production Assistant, Jacqueline McKoy Advertising Assistant, Lauren Fox Distribution, Chris West Distribution, Angella Farr Volunteer co-ordinator, Kirika Bussell

Production Staff Marc d'Avernas, Laura Hamrak, Jason Kennedy, Rosanna Lau, Derek Martin, Claire Mousseau, Phil Weiner, Judy Wu. Simon Yarrow, Bobby Leung

bnprint is the official stuilent newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital.

Imprint is a member of the Ontario Com-

positive things, Sure, they may esamedogma uPPoSed be the point? Ate "correct" beliefs more important than compassionate actions? \~'ant to encourage spiritUality? I can't ~peak for everyone else, but personally I'm more affected by long, animated discussions over a steaming mug of java at Seconq Cup than I am by some random godmonger approaching me in the SLC. I bring it up 'ecause the latrer has happened to me more thim<>nce. .

Wouldn't it be terrible if we all believed the same things? There'd be no discussion, no inpovation, no ~ew ideas from the synthesis of two old, opposing ones. As it is, my thinking has been influenced by Catholics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Neo-pamunity Newspaper Association (OCNA).

Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of bnprilJf. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights oC their submitted' material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an. issue of bnprillt, or Imprillt declares their intent not to publish the material.

The full text of this agtl!ement is available' upon request..

Imprill! does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at 'the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contraven-

gans, Baha'i, agnostics and atheists. aJI)bnds in th hers, wantt;) ,,'

a diverse environment? Diversity is beautiful- and from diversity comes strength. mdavenport@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Etiiiors Note: Uncommon Sense wilt flOt tun this week because it wasgit'fl11 aWqJ to a Iiberaljriefldfy ad agen'iY while it was being transporte.d on a Sea King helicopter that crashed ill a IIsed British submarine which' sunk. tion ,vith Imprints policies with respect to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. '

Impri/II is published every Friday during fall and winter tenns, and every second Friday during the spring tenn. bnprillt reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising.

Imprint Publications is not responsible for advertisng mistakes beyond the cost of the advertisement. One copy per customer.

Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Impriflt CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122.

Next staff meeting: Monday, February 21 12:30 p.m., SLC 1116 Next production night: Wednesday, February 23 5:30 p.m."SLC 1116 Next board meeting: TBA

8

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18,2005

Religious? Conservative? That's not what I hear...

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Back in high schoo~ I listened to a talk. by an -ex-drug addict as part of CampaignAgainstlivingMisernbly(CALM), 'the career prep class that everyone was forced to take. One thing that he said that stuck out to me was how he could neverreally leave behind thatpartofhis life due to the associations he made betweendrugsandsimplewords. Words like ''boy,'' "girl," "strawberries" and so on were all codes forvarious drugtypes for him and every time he heard them, the firstthing,he thoughtofweredrugs, and getting high.

I really couldR't relate to his experience - not being a drug addict myself

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746·1666

~butlrememberthinkingthatitmust

be a terrible thing to live with. Now, severalyearslater,I finally knowwhathe was talking about - though, the associations I make are a little different.

WhenI hear "conservative," I think ' "close-minded" or "redneck." I think ofRalphKlein,StevenHatper,Dr.James Dobson, Vice President Cheney and organizations with names like "REAL Women of Canada" (Realistic, Eq~ Active, forLife).

When I hear "religious," I think ''homophobe'' and "anti-gay." I think ofRev.FredPhelps, GeorgeBush,Alan Keyes, evangelists and the Vatican tellingAIDS-ravagedAfricat;hatcondoms don't help prevent the spread of that

terrible disease.

Actually,Idon'tevenhearthesewords mymore. I justhear''hate,'' andit's hard not to.

It's hard not to think these things when I hear about the stories of:r..fary Cheneyand~fayaKeyes. Bothlesbians, theyarerespectivelythedaughtersofthe vice president and a US Senatorialcandi, date. But despite their daughters' sexuality,bothDick Cheney andAlanKeyes openly campaign against LGBT civil rights. AlanKeyes, areligious conservative, went even further, throwinghis 19year-old daughter out on the street refusing to help pay for her tuition. He stopped speaking to her. "She was disowned for being a lesbian. Or, as her own father put it, "a selfish hedonist" and "a sinner."

It's hard'not to think these things when I hear about the ''National Youth Crisis Hotline," a fake hotline in Texas, brainchild of Pastor Mike Macintosh with the Horizon ChristianFellows~p. "l-BOO-HIT-HOME" was falsely adve~asaplaceforyouthquestioning

their sexuality to call and get advice. In this case, the advice was religious fundamentalism. Thestaffquotedbibleverses telling the callers that they're sinners.

Referencesweremade to organizations that claim to tum~ys Strlught (while converting them to their religion). A total lack ofdu:ing about the you.th who called - iflstead, a reinforcement of everything negative the caller has heard directed theirway.

One of the people working at the hotline was even asked how he would feel "ifsome lonely kid in the middle of Nebraska, who had never heard any-

thing except that he is a sinner, killed himself after talking to [them]." Their response? "Sometimes the devil makes things happen."

These storiesareperfectexarnples of why I cringe every time I hear the word "conservative" or "religious." I shouldn't. I should not think of hate every time I heat the word "religion."

Thatis not what it's about. I know that; I don'tneed to be told ButallI ever hear alongside that label is another diatribe about why I am ruining soCiety, why I am sub-hilmanandwhy I should suffer endlessly in some contrived comer of hell HowcanInot associate these t:hings with that word?

I know I'm not the only one who reacts like this-it happens thtoughout the queer community and some of the "liberal" community too. And it's spreading.

I know there are good people out there who are religious orconservative.

You are not all like those examples I've named above, but you have a responsibility. Much like theLGBT community is trying to take back the label "queer," you need to take back your labels from the hands ofthese people who are ruining your good name. You need to be more visible. If they're loud, be louder.

If you don't take action soon, this will only get worse. I hear more stories just like those mentionedabove every day. Ev'erytimeI do,itonlymakesthese connections stronger. There should be 110 shame in saying ''I'm religious" or ''I'm conservative" and only you can keep it that way. gbarday@imprint.uwaterlod.ca

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Let me begin by saying: Ilove technology. While no gearhead despite my related major, while not always the first to adopt the next "it" gadget or game, I still love my computer in a deep and heartfelt way that makes some people uncomfortable.

Many ofyou can relate to "machine \vithdrawal" and "machine abandonment," atleast a little. It's what happens when you're forced to leave your beloved computer for an extended period of time, say a weekend or, heaven forbid, a long weekend. No matter how great your destination, some small part of you feels you're ·neglectingyour baby, your computer.

Ifyou're a co-op kid (not quite as glamorous as· the Sunshine kid or the Karate kid, but it's the closest title UW bestows), you may'be familiar \vith that illogical compulsion you inevitably succumb to, against all bett~r judgment, in packing up your belongings at the end of a term to ship off to your new location.

You'll go to extreme lengths to postpone the moment you're forced to subject your electrical half to the indigillty of disconnection and even sometimes (brace yourselves) smothering by la.yers of styrofoam and cardboard.

Standing amidst your boxed belongings, you wonder if you can order a moving van with an electrical supply so your beloved computer can keep you company on the trip (so what if it'S only an hour and a half?

That's quality time!). On arrival,

Er,so yeah, I like technology, just a little. before 'you set up a bed or obtain sustenance, your machine must be exposed in all, its glory, reconnected and brought alive. Once again, you're reunited; once again, you're complete. . Er, so yeah, I like technology, just a little.

Yet, there are times when I wonder if my love is misplaced, if I should 'tempermyaffection. You're thinking

about the l\ficrosoft Office assistant (if not, ifyou actually use that, for shame!

Think about what th~t means about you as a person - yes, I judge you!) and the various other pieces of badly made software you've come across (UW Ace/Angel/One, anyone? Software so bad it requites aliases, lestit be identified and punished forits crimes) - but there is another, more insidious piece of technology. .

I first encountered this entity, my technological nemesis, several years back while touring the Henry Ford museum in Dearborn, l\fichigan, home to examples of early industrial machines, steam engines and ofcourse, cars. Though interesting, my attention span quickly expired and my enthusiasm waned for these relics, each ofwhich had once been a technological breakthtough.

But no innovation at the exhibits impressed me nearly as much as what I was to find in the restroom. For in the Ford museum's ladies room I discovered an invention that was sure to foil mankind for years to come; to inflict on hum:anity a level of frustration heretofore unimagined; to challenge the very foundation of our collective sanity.

See TECH, page 9

9

FRIDAY. FEBRUARY 18, 2005

SIOCK AND AWE ...TELL ME YOU'RE NOT

PLANNING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE PLANNING.

S" lit:

With the Feds election now over and many lives unchanged, the time has come to look at the only real issue to come outofthecampaign: voterapathy.

There is no excuse for not caring about decisions that directly influence your li\~. W'betherapathytakesplaceinFeds orin federal.orpro\"'incial.dectio~s, the only excuse for not voting is incompetence, notignorance.

A common excuse for not voting is that someone "didn't have enough information." I doubt any candidate, anywhere, has ever refused to give information about their platforms, at least no candidate that had any intenton to win.

If you can't get enough information about a candidate or a campaign it is because you are incompetent.

With access to information beingwhat

it is today, there is no excuse for not knowing enough to vote.

Ifyou choose not to gettheinformati0n, or choose not to participate in an election, you are equal.lyincompetent.

I realize that for most students, the actions ofFeds or the UWSenatedonot matter as much as watching the next episode of The O.C, but as a citizen of Canada, Ontario and even the University

It is your duty, not your right, to participate in democracy of\'{Taterloo,itis your duty, not just your right, to participate in democracy.

By not voting you let idiots and keeners decide for you.

Think back to the episode of The SiltJpsonswhere Bartruns for class president against Martin. Because all of Bart's friends chose not to vote or

BARFLIES What's with the get up?

I

What can I say, it was a good party.

~-----The chaps were a nice touch. " /

I thought so"

\~

assumed their friends were voting, Martin won. Is that whl'lt you really want? A school run by Martins?

Democraqrequires theparticipati~n of every single citizen in order function properly. So be a good citizen and stop neglecting your country. Remember, every time a citizen votes, an angel gets its v,,-ings If you leave the voting to those keeners who were in line on Tuesday morning, then you might as well get used to not having a vote at all.

If you're happy to let your decisions be made for you so that you can sleep in or grab an extra coffee you might as well sit back and wait for a dictatorship to settle in.

Governments don'tjustvote themselves in, they require the participation ofeach and LOVery person. Torefu.o;eto "ote is to refuse to liyein a democracy.

The second argument for notvoting is that there are no decent candidates. \'{lell, guess what? Those are the choices you have. Ifyou're hungry and you go to the grocery store and all they have is W orId \'1/ar I surplus tuna fish and Beefln-A-Bag, guess what, you'll have to choose one or the other.

Not voting is like not eating; you need to do both to keep things going.

Sometimes in life you have to choose between bad and worse. Unfortunately, Feds elections can sometimes be one of those situations.

The one we went to last weekend? You're still dressed up?

But aren't you supposed to wear pants with them?

\

When I find them, I''' let you know.

- Jeff Anstett

The

~~

Tech: Frailty, thy name be automatic toilet

Voter apathy is pathetic The only excuse for not voting is . .

Incompetence - not ignorance

\

Continued from page 8 'Twas the auto-flusher, henceforth referred to as My Nemesis. At the time, I was young and naive, the perfectprey for this sophisticated villain.

It sat seemingly benign as I conducted my business. Reaching to flush, I found no lever, pulley, or indeed any flush-catalyst. It soon dawned on me that no button would announce itself, that this was, as legend had it and I'd not believed existed (much like unicorns, dragons, and men who listen), an auto-flusher. Thus the dance began. Literally.

Those who've encountered My Nemesis will recognize my moves: the

complicated-looking coffee machine whose cappuccino-making ability seemed to depend heavily on my multistep participation, I remainedunfazed.

Indeed, two minutes later, I held in my hot little hands evidence ofmy mastery over modem technology.

No, I was not fazed until I made a restroom stop and faced My Nemesis once more. 1'd grown in the intervening years, 1'd experienced much and wasnolongertheinnocent"vithwhom My Nemesis once toyed with ease.

Without hesitation or revelation of fear,Istrodepurposefullytowardhirn.

And that's when he reveal.ed the new skills he'd developed since our last meeting. Instead of challenging an

tIf-at!~~,~~t3,\\~e-sensor salsa, ~:~?C e~~~!!~dered, fully-clothed rival., please-flusn-SO'-I-can-leavelambada. .'1vIy emesiS explOIted am:di_Mi!i~~* That day, I did enough dancing to cal advantage-strategically flushing qualify me to star in the Royal Canarepeatedly while his victim was at her dian Ballet, or at least DirtY Dancing. most vulnerable. Sufficeitto say, this "1bisemotional.lyttaumaticandphysiwas. a very different kind of dance. callytaxingencountenvithMyNemesis Angry as I was, I could not help but served toillustratevividlyanotherexam-路 admire his progress and wit. He had pIe of man's illogical. insistence on inbested me. Well played, sir. venting that which we not only d9n't I do apologize for discussing such need, but "conveniences" that serve only an indelicate matter, butI feltitonly fair toinconvenienceandirritate.1hatwhich to warn you of this advanced technol~esnecessaryanadditiontoourcomogy out to destroy, or at least make monlexicon: toilet-rage. fools of, mankind. 'Tis no simple enAll of this resided in my checkered emy. But! have faith that someday, we past,al.mostforgottenuntillastweek. It shallonceagainreclaimounvashrooms was my firstweek at anewjob andwbile -someday,wewill once again deterall of the new policies, people and sysmine our own flushing destinies! terns where foreign, I was unflappable.

Even faced with a somewhat slywong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2005

TALES FROM TIE SEX SlOP

I just don't believe in atheism A tribute to pe~plewho "don't believe in god"

What to eat at the movies

Let's assume you're at the movies and you want some munchies (this assumingyou're either the KingofJordan's kin or are scammingOSAP and actually have the money to pay for food at the theatre). What do you buy?

Though modern, advanced movie theatres have sprinkled the lobby~th higher-priced (and surprisingly more greasy) fastfood chains, let's startwith the concession stand - popcorn, nachos, gummy bears and chocolate.

Please do not take nachos with you into a movie with suspense ifyou're an edgy person路- it's a simple rule. So let's not ignore it like our good friend jaywalking. Edgy people should buy gummy bears; that way, when a scary moment in the movie is coming, you pop in the gummy bears. By the time the movie hits its scary climax, you're distracted by trying to pick "gummy" out of your teeth and no salsa lands in the lap of the person next to you ifyou get spooked.

A small bag of popcorn is perfect for those movies you get dragged to but don't really want to see. It takes enough concentration to find the little

bag when reaching for the popcorn and sure enough a kernel will get stuck in your gums justlongenoughforyou to pickatwith your tongue, get itloose (and feel satisfied in the process), question why when the kernel was puncturing your gums, it felt nice in an awkward kind of way and catch the actual good parts of the movie. Just don't eat all of your popcorn during the previews.

Chocolate is definitely the way to go for a short movie you have b,een

looking forward to seeing (like Afr. 3000-man,thatBerniel\faccan.sure hit a baseball). M&l\fs are tasty and are quick to escape the mouth with no trace left behind and there are just enough to finish the bag halfway into the movie, when it's about time to pick things up on screen anyhow.

For those who longed (no pun intended) to see Lordofthe Ringsor Rqy - cinematic masterpieces but devastating to the diminishing supply of movie reels - nothing beats a large bag of popcorn for its longevity. But remember to buy a small drink. (Use the "sip, swish and spit" method if you can without getting caught-you can't waste any time in the bathroom).

Fast food at theatres, however, puzzles me. D~ar Burger King and Taco Bell - who on Earth would want to bring a Whopper 01:: a hard Taco Supreme with extra sour cream (arguably two of nature's most tasty yet unpredictable foods) into a movie?

Is there really a "came far too early for the movie so I'll pay double the price for a combo here instead of going across the street for one and coming back later" marketto capitalize on? To those who do want their greasy goodness and do not fear the darkened theatre atmosphere, I suggest a documentary (where really all you have to do is listen through much of it to get the idea) for your movie choice.

So to recap - when 1 go to the movies this weekend, I will buy gummy bears for Hide and Seek, small popcorn for The Wedding Date and a both M&Ms and large popcorn for Pooh's Hdfalump Movie. See you at the movies!

How can you justify independence when' your programmed response is shared by the rest of your generation?

Thiscomesfullcircletotheclassicsaying, ''I'mdifferent-justlikeeverybodyelse.''

I recommend that in the future, instead of immediately claiming disbeliefin any superior deity, simply say My generation is a difficu1t and confus"I don't know." And this makes a ing one. I know most adolescents perfect segway to allow me to explain tend to bedifficu1t; however, this group a couple very important terms: is particularly so. We came about just Atheism-Ids the beliefthat there towards the end of the Christian reis no god. Belief is the key word in this gime, so most kids were raised Chrisstatement. This is not just a default settingbecauseyoucan'tpickareligion; tian and naturally rebelled against it itis justas much ofa religion as anythingduring their rebellious high-school phase. else. After all, realizingandtruly acceptIt's unbelievable how many stuing that death means nothing is a difficu1ttask, one that I'm certainlynotup to. dents are still stuck in that rebellious phase. Now don't get me wrong, I'm Agnosticism - This is the belief not advocating that you cannot ChriStianity or know whether or anything like that.

I recommend that in not there is a god.

But when the It is a mixture of the future ... simply both indecision subject ofreligion comes up, whyrethe truly solid say "I don't know." and spond, "1 don't faith in theinconbelieve in God?" ceivability of a First off, has heavenly body.

This is not a default. this person seriously considered the Of course, I'm no one to criticize a notion that we are the only ones here? person's faith choice and some may Have they thought about the implications of such a reality? Absolutely not. read this article as being that. However, For those ofyou that have, I apologize. this is not the case at all. Instead, I urge This is not a critique of atheists or people to leave behind their proagnostics,insteaditisacritiqueofpeogrammedresponses and actually think pIe who do not consider such things in terms of spiritual reality. before saying them.

Perhaps it will end up tliat they The need for any sort of protruly do not believe in god, at least this grammed response (think of how will have taught them some new vomany times you say "just looking" to cabulary. So next time someone asks a sales guy) usually arises from wityou about religion, instead of delivernessing the proof that it works to ing the auto-rebellious response, try out "You know, I haven't really fchieve the desired result of any given altercation. In this instance, it conveys thought about that." a sort of rebellious nature that says, "I accept nothing. I am independent."

-Tim Alamenciak

aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

"No chicken soup for you. We don't want you creating some sort of super \1irus!"

Where is my come-uppance?

To the editOl;

Imprint should get its coverage on Lunarfest correct by speaking to the person in charge of the fashion show, me, Mary. Then again, I guess it was difficult to know who I was since the booklet given out "accidentally" left out the names of myself and d1e creative directors (Lisa Ye, GinaLee, Kevin Lee, Claudia Choi and Diana Cheung) although we've dedicated our time from September until Lunarfest night without any help from any of the clubs (I did all sponsorship).

The delay was not because of late deliveries of costumes nor any technical difficulties. I was the only one who drove all day getting the costumes and models at Fed Hall by 6 p.m.

Tberewere three reasons why the show was delayed.

The "bands" (which were CSA's responsibility) were given 30 minutes to set up and perfurm but CSA added an extra gigwithout informing me or the fact d1atthey needed 30 minutes to set up until Lunarfest night while we were trying to run a dress rehearsal \'\·ith the D.1. \\;'e've been working our bW115 offwi.th practices since Novem· ber so the "show" was ready.

The lack of support from certain dubs who to setup the of show had llW modds up rarber than the dress rehearsal. indi\~iduals did t"ake longer than anticipated but onk caused a dela\'. Also, this is No/the fIrst yc"r \'ie'yC partnered with local businesses to sponsor clothing for the sho\1'o In case anyone missed it, Rosalind's Fine Lingerie and Board,valk (canring DiseI) were abo left out of the booklet. It 'was a successful show because there ,,',-as a large turnout but I was disappointed,

413

levesque's misconceptions To fix In response to the article "The left's 'individual choice model,'" r d like to comment on Tom Levesque's mis .. conceptions about Canadian society.

Capitalism is not a political platform.

His remarks about Canada adopting communism are unsupported by us .. ing examples of gon~rnment funded businesses. Sure, the government owns 1.( ::no and the C/twC/imJ Broad .. casting Corporation, but that didn't just happen under the Liberal govern .. me nt, Ifa profoundly

and stable economy. In order to accommodate the diversity of values this country has, a completely capitalistic economy, as suggested, \vill only resemble the authoritarian governance that Levesque himself warns against.

His article illustrates a misleading picturc of the political parties at both ends of the spectrum. Unless Levesque is trying to advance his personal agenda through slander, it would seem appropriate for himto reconsider his comments in an otherwise rational attempt to analyze the current political climate in Canada.

-~

T!ffr1J!y TJtlll 3A planning The Red response

To the editor, Tom Levesque isn't entirely accurate in last 'Neck's article, "The left's 'indio vidual choice modeL'" As defined by .Marx, a communist state does not exist! True communism has no government and people o\vn and operate everything communally. \'1{natwe have seen in the las t century arc socialist states ruled by self-proclaimed com· munist parties. A socialist st.ate is in between capitalism and communism, where tbe guvermnent owns all the means of production. r\ COmm01l1TtlSCOI:1C<:lpt:lon about socialism is that: it is

S{;cialisrn is a S{)Cl0-cco"

and the gentes in question - poetry, short fiction and II experimental" nonfiction -_.. are expected to help promote the arts cOlnmuIlity here at \\;'aterloo.

Sounds laudable so far, yes?

But here's the catch: ifyou're not an undergrad English major, you won't even be considered.

Now what kind of message does this send to the students of this campus? That you can't be a publica .. tion-quality writer unless you're in English? That your faculty or major will determine all you're allowed to excel in - and that other institutions are justified in seeing you this way too?

Frankly, I'm disappointed. In a university lauded overwhelmingly for its engineering, math and computer science programs, the arts community already has to struggle to remain a vital entity on campus. People would think us crazy if, to promote citizen's responsibilities throughout the student body, we held student rep elections that only political science, international relations and peace studies majors could attend. And the drama community most certainly does not limit involyement in productions to drama majors·- . Upstart and F ASS

arc exemplary examples of promoting the arts across campus.

I ask only for the opportunity to be considered'<llongside allime1"ested writ.. crsin the student body. The best way to promote the arts is to involve the community as a whole. So why, 1 ask, must the English depa...'1:ment cita\v lines in the sand?

- i.'viargarel C"klrk 2B politiral Jtz'EIl,'e Sex is exciting, recreational To the editor, \'7e are quite offended that "progressive and open" university student Brendan Collins failed to remember that free speech is an important part of being Canadian. Concerning the survey published in J:;J~)Jintlastweek, it is obvious thatthis survey was meant as a tun, tongue-in-cheek activity to fill in the space between classes and to pro .. mote interesting conversation with peers. This survey was not mandatory nor was reading it. \'I/e are all mature adults at this uriiyersity and 'IKe are capable of making conscious decisions of what we

choose to read _. whether it is in

Itltprifltor in any other literary work. If you say you can do \v"ithout reading Julia Harries' column, then don 'tread it. It's as simple as that. Don'trainon other people's parades just because you're sexually reserved.

Harries' column is tastefullywritten providing not only information but a hunlOurouS look at sex. She is not pushing sex on those who do not',v"ish to participate in sexual activity but is providing those who are seekingadv"ice an outlet. Jtall comes down to censorship and that is something that is not tolerated around this campus. If the survey on the backofJrnprintwas about eating habits, we are quite sure that you would not have had the same reaction.

Unfortunately, western culture has deemed sex a taboo topic and we are fortunate to have someone such as Harries to help challenge those views.

The only suggestion we may give to Harries is to continue to focus on safe and pleasurable sex. \Ve leave you \vith a quote from the wise man \X'oody Allen, "Is sex dirty? Only when it's done right."

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what type of gU\;Trnment it The issue at hand is that Canada is apparently losing its individu,'1l choice.

LnTsque fails to acknowledge that globalization is the greatest threat to communism and socialism and has essentially eliminated all possibility of these syStems manifesting again on a large scale. His comments about the Canadian gm-ernment protecting its own industries are largely irrelevant to Canada becoming communist.

The USA, the most capitalist nation in the world, regularly intervenes in favour ofits own indus tJ:les with tariffs and subsidies. I'm sme a lot of you are alsotamilianvith the softwood lumber industry. Canadians are being given a g1'eater chance to experience their own individual choice based on some of Canada's leftist policies. Tuition freezes directly affect us all, government aid allows more people to attend umver sin'. and while health care ma\'- not be pelfect,itoffers free medical service that I know I coull1 not clfford otherwise.

I'm all for individual choice and thanks to our government I have it,

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FRIDAY, FEHRUARY18. 200;

listen up prudes!

fortable with sex, give us a call; we're here to help.

point. Such an act \vas unfair to the writer.

To the editor;

Misrepresentation This letter is in response to the dude who wtote in complaining about the sex survey, saying it "represented bad taste" and whatnot.

Basically, we trunk this guynceds to getlaid bad/yo What fun is sex if you can't talk and joke aboutit?\X'e think that the survey is the best thing that imp/illthas published this year.l\laybe it's time he stops complaining about Harries' column and bef:,rins to take time to read it, because she has great tips that everyone can benefit from.

This survey was not an insult to the university but rather shovied the eli i:Sity of attirudes that out school enG H11paSy.es; we can be fun, sexy and sm,trl: all at the same time.

Our advice to this upright gentleman: take the stick out of yourass.lf you don't like it, then don't read it.

And don't make yourself look like a dick by threatening a school newspaper.

--- .Lfmrlll AicPhillips and Katie DC!/ll~;r

213

RP/J7 and 28 kiilfJio!0f!)'

P.S. Dude, if you evcr need handson lessons on how to be more corn-,

lY~71ker

-- Kerin

and it is inconsiderate to our fellow students.You cannot force people to take intetes tin Feds elections. Please Feds candidates, stay outofmy classes.

4B coflijJllkr fNginmiflg

To the

-- .JUII! Coxe

editOl~

The letter printed last week saying that Imprint had crossed the line \,;ith such things as the sex survey said that parts of the paper are disrespectful of sexuality and the people on our campus, but his cornments appeared \\'ith the headline "Sex is dirty, irresponsible."

Nowhere did he imply that sex is dirty; he was saying that ImJ)rillt was being irresponsible. A lot of social conservatives are branded as thinki''1g that sex is something to be ashamed of, but mas t of us view it in quite the opposite manner. Sex is an intimate act meant to bind two people. It involves a gift of self and as such shouldn't be treated frivolously. It is something beautiful, meaningful and the rcligious of us consider it holy in its proper context.

Putting that label on his commentsputthemin the wrong context and denied that sex is anything more than mere pleasure. If you're going to provide your readers with a way to publicly giye feedback on what they read, you shouldn't be distortingtheit

Keep politics out of the classroom

3B biolof!)'

Violence solves nothing To tbe

cditOl~

To the EditOf; Although I support encourat,>1ng fellow students to "get out and vote" I do not appreciate havingmydass rime interrupted bytbe candidates and Lheir propaganda.

Today one of the "parties" came into my fourth year biology class and took up just under 10 nunutes of our time. They shO\ved a video which basically just told me to "go out and vote" next week. They told me nothing of what they plan to do, other than "shake tbjngs up."

They basically did not say anything I haven't already read on the hundreds of campaign posters all over campus.

I wondenvhy they feel the need to interrupt the clas, I pay for to t<:11 me things 1 can read on posters and hear at Feds-sponsored f(>nuns. Obviously my prof agreed to this interruption.

My point is that we as students shonldn't even be asking for this class time_ It is inconsiderate to our profs

Dilts' article in Impriflton February 4 did an awesome job promoting violence as a means ofgetting the cards to finally fall in your favour. Although it's unfortunate to hear that his past eX"Periences \\':11h t.~e OSAP office have been less than fun and that his credit rating has taken a beating, I question 'l.yhether all of Dilts ' OSAP \voes were the fault of the "seemingly benevolent government orifices" or simply his own poor record keeping skills.

Beingtbe offspring of one of those "schrnuck(s) sitting in a gm'emment call centre" and an OS/\P recipient myself, I have not only witnessed the frustration fdt by those on the receiying end of abusive phone calls such as yours but also the efficient manner in ",-hich call centre representatives can help stuJents who arc polite anJ keep their records in order. 1 kno\\' that six months after my study period 1 go

into repayment unless I send in COI1tltmation that 1 am enrolled for anotheryearl term.

Here's the catch: it is my responsibility to let the bank and the OSA}> oftlce kno\v that I am still a full-time student, even ifI'tIl not receiving more loans -,--, it says so right on all of those forms that I've signed foUl' timt~S each for the last eight terms. As well, keep路, ingrecords of allphonecalls and conversatiol1~, as well as photocopies of any forms submitted, cut down on the instances of " disappearing phone calls" and "lost paperwork. "These are responsible methods for coyering my ass should I ever find myself having OSAP troubles.

As for the idcaof using yelling as a means of getting your \1:ay, 1 find this ,m immalure and irresponsible problem"solving method to promute. rt doesn 'tmatter how frustrated YOU are or whether you're ncyer going to ,ee the person aga in. A complete stranger in noway deserves to be verbally abused because you are not getting-what you \\"ant.

I certainly hope t,1,.at readers are ma'turc enough to realize that the advice giveninDilts' articlewiUonly hurt their chances for success in thercalworld.

-- Belli Bmll)1

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rammys are nothing to sing about Dave George-Cosh IMPRINT STAFF

Grammy night turned out to be yet another disappointment for Waterloo. Nope, no artists from Waterloo were nominated and in turn, no one won (I'm ignoring perennial nominee Walter Ostanek, but he's really from Kitchener. And no one really listens to polka after Oktoberfest anyway). So yes, it was another dismal year for Waterloo and it doesn'tlooklike things are getting better. In fact, it seems that the only connection Waterloo will ever have to the Grammys is through the coaxial cables that hook up to yourTV sets.

So, Waterloo residents managed to watch and not contribute to the 47th Annual Grammy Awards telecast Sunday, February 13. The program started with a medley ofsorts, which included Franz Ferdinand, Black Eyed Peas, ~faroon 5 and Los Lonely Boys playing whatever hit they had last year, which resulted in aweird mash-up that no self-respecting DJ would have mixed together.

Then some awards were handed out. ~<\nd in b!!t\veen ~ self-gratifying moments that accompanied the acceptanceofthose awards were anumber

of "lifetime achievement awards."

Don't blink or you might have missed seeing Led Zeppelin finally sitting together for the first time in years, accepting some award weneverphysically see, but apparently exists.

The lifetime achievement awards were a good excuse to showcase some other heroes ofyesteryear whose artistic accomplishments deserve much more than a briefhiccup in the broadcast. AtlanticRecords founder Ahmet Ertegun, who's partly responsible for popularizing rhythm and blues amongst the racially-segregated music scene in the 1950s barely got more than a couple of seconds of screen time. And if you're going to pay tribute to Lynyrd Skynyrd, don't skimp out on the solo to "Freebird." Buthey, I wasn'tproducingtheshow-apparently, host/performer Queen Latifa really did need all of that screen time.

That's not without saying that some deserving artists were awarded for their work in the past year. Kanre West, Lorretta Lynn, Green Day, Wilco and Prince all won Gramrnys during the night. Even Brian Wilson won Best Rock Instrumental Performance for a song he originally wrote back in the f960s, only to finally be released over 40 rears later.

should remind us exactly how much we take our lives for granted.

Dishonourable mention lies with the cover of the Beatles' "Across the Universe," sung by an all-star group of musicians, including Bono, Green Day's BillieJoeAtmstrong, Alicia Keys and Stevie Wonder. I know on paper itlooked spectacular, but so does a sex scene between Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci (see Monsterifyou don't believe me). The performance, even though it was for charity, felt vapid and boring. I even wondered if . some ofthe musicians knewwhat song they were singing. Maybe next time they try something like this, they'll stickwith an old standard like John Lennon's, "Imagine," before again wading into the pool of semi-inspirational songs to cover for a good cause.

At the end of the night, I realized that the yearly telecast JULIAN APONG had run into its share of problems. As I found out later, the ratings The standout moment of the for the show reached an all-time low. night, hands down, was West's perWere more people really that interformance of his award-\vinning hit, ested in Desperate Housewives or was 'Jesus Walks." Culling an energy that there just something wrong with the broadcast that ,made viewers throw was clearly lacking from the rest of the their remotes at the TV:路 . program, West later saved some For one thing, it's hard to stomach adrenaline for an inspiring speech that And hats off to Ray Charles, who posthumously won for his release Genius Loves Campa'!}, even if it did feel more like a tribute to the legend rather than recognition of whoever was deserving of the award.

a program that lasts for three hours with such a variety of music. Can you really sit through a country ballad, followed byarap song, followed by something. adult comtemporary? I surely can't and I doubt many other people out there can. Sowhynot separate each musical style and feature awards on separate nights? Rock can have its own night,socanR&B/Rap,Country/Traditional and Classical. Heck, why not have a Grammy week, complete with relative awards and performances for each separate day ofthe week.

I guess thattherehas to be some sort of finality; the awards will be back next year, completewithdeservingand undeserving winners. It's becoming sad to realize that maybe these awards are just apreamble to the after-patties thatpopulate the Los Angeles area, ""ilere you don't have to be a winner to party like one. But that's just another one of the banalities ofthecurrentmusicindustry, chugging along only to satisfy the executives'pockets (and some ofthe artists as well) while really,reallygood music fails to even be listened to. Hey, maybe next year someone from Waterloowillbeone oftheluckypatticipantsontheGrammys. \'{,'ell, aguy can dream, can't he? dgeorgec@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

eed tips to land that special girl? Then check out Hitch Hitch Andy Tennant Columbia Pictures

Despite my inftnite disdain for that certain infamous calendar date, I found myself at a romantic comedy this Valentine's Day, albeit on a platonic date.

I expected to be shoved through all the same old boring cliches and be left wondering where my $12.50 went; I was pleasantly surprised.

The movie was Hitch, which hit theatres last Friday, perfectly timed for a Valentine's Day release. It stars Will Smith as Alex Hitchens, a.k.a. Hitch,

who is a matchmaker "Consultant" for hopeless guys who are trying to meet the girl of their dreams.

The story follows Hitch as he helps bumbling accountant Albert Brennamen, played by King ofQueens , KevinJames, date a wealthy heiress while Hitch courts New York gossip columnist Sara, played by the lovely Eva Mendez.

These three were very good in their roles. Smith is essentially reprising his role from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but with a little more class and maturity. His smooth and charismatic delivery single-handedly

makes this movie worth seeing. James is perfect comic relief and Mendez is relatively convincing.

This movie rests ftrmlywithin the realm of romantic comedy and never strays. The term "chick flick" occurred to me several times while I watched it.

HitchandSaraareclassicconftdent-onthe-outside-but-lonely-on-the-inside types and the main conflict revolves around them coming to terms \\>ith their sensitive sides.

So you've got two high octane socialites who, despite their guarded personalities, ironically fall in love, then some tet:riblesecrettearsthemapart,which sets

up a big finale thatyouwillprobably see coming. Big yawn, right?

Surprisingly, it still manages to be an extremely enjoyable movie. I could predict roughly what would happen J:ery step of the way, but I was still laughing through most of it. The dialogue, although cheesy, is usually clever and the plotwas well structured.

It's like the music of John rvfayer; shameless poppy, but so well written that you can't help but keep listening.

Hitch is a feel-good movie, and I usually despise feel-good type movies, especially on Valentine's Day, but somehow leaving that theatre I actually

felt good. The always over-the-top dramatic scenes tug at the heartstrings ever so gently while light-hearted humour provides sufficient relief.

Ifyoucangetadate, take that person to this movie, especially on a first date.

It is chock full of dating philosophy which makes for great conversation fodderafterthemovie.Ialmostfeltlike takingnoteswhilewatching, you know, to maybe improve my odds at meeting the girl of my dreams, just like that dreamy Will Smith ... *sigh*. I don't even know who I am anymore.

-

Darren Hutz

1.DantfJ WarholsalltlBrain]ones/Qwn,\filistim. to, Wrath ofthe DOfl~ (remix). 3. A punk 4. Electric Six's "Daltger! Higb V olt~e." 5.

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FRIDAY, FEBURARY 18,2005

Mixtape madness masterpieces Margie Mansell

--------------------------

IMPRINT STAFF

Have you en~r come to the point where thereguku:musicwJUlistentojustdocsn't get your engines rating-anymore? Hayc the ruck 'n' roll licks failed to melt your face lately? Have the SlTloOtb beats of R&B losttheirg-roovc? Solution: rev-iYe your love 0 f music \vith a blast from the past - the classical way.

Imagine this scenario: w>u'redriv'ing down the street and YOU come to a red light. The car next to you is blasting the latest cont1"iYed, cOlmnercial material.

You feel the need to out-blast their tripe with something- egually loud, yet of far bcttercjuality.A dassicalmusic tape will hit \'<)U a honle Hill even-- time. Here are . some pO]Julax oldies to keep in mind:

you may remember from Looney Tunes cartoons, and the last and most popular theme was used in the J"one Ranger. A truly multi-faceted piece to getyuurengme roanng.

William Tell Overture (1829)Gioacchino Rossini At a running tinlC of around four

Also Sprach Zarathustra (1896) -

minutes, the overture is segmented into four themes. Starting off with a cello quintet, it 11l0yes into a raging stoml, follO\n~d by the spring-calm aftenvards, then the call to arms 0 f the Swiss revo1ution. The ~econd and third themes

Richard Strauss U sed quite enecti\"t~ly in the opening sequence of200 I:A.'Jj'aa'Od4rsry,Strauss wrote this piece to reflectthe'\" ntings of Nietzsche on the ori",oinand en)lutiollof the humanrace.ltisquite uplifting-with lots ofiuicv farbrass. SpcmngofRidlards and fat brass ...

Ride of the Valkyries (1870) Richard Wagner From parr (\\:0 of \\"agner's Rzir; series, this superman-like theme is enough to make any fat1'ldy sing.lfthis song can work for Frances Ford Coppola in ApOCrlfrlst ;YOJ!1, it's cel1ainly good enough to e,rive your mmical collection an infusion of £lair.

Sabre Dance (1943) - Aram Khachaturian TIus excerpt fmm the b,lllel slams the senses with colourful rh\-thms and Soviet dmamism. Think IFt'li Sidf

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To interject \"Our frothing fClgC, 1 apologize that this column \"\'ill b..: slightl\- geekiertlun others. Howcn:f, iris inf(mnauon that evelygamershould he concerncd about. After all, the PC still technicaUy qualitics as a platform and we should ali be int'Ormed.

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jazz meets the mad thycllms of Danny Elfman',; Pee \Vee Herman Iheme. Xylophone madness! \ii/hen looking for classical recordings, keep in mind that not ali orchestras are created egual. Try to find complete versions tllat are expre,sive and at the proper telnpo. There's nothing more pathetic thanllstening to Holst's ,\i,!l:fat half the speed it's meant for. Keep away from those, "Greatest Cla~sical CoHce oon ever" CDs, At best, you can use tllose to pbn your own faccmdting

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this certainly does nut off::et the initial cost I do nut deny that there are a fc\y phenomenal ganleS to plar on r-he PC; hO\\T\-er, pale ill comparison to the sheer vo]wlle of gaming goodn"s, available on tl1e console. It's like going to Sole for a fine meal. Sure it taste,; great, but it costs a bundle and after a good crap, you're left with an emptv feeling inside. Now console gaming is more like a family meal at Taco Bell: it keeps rOll full for days, and the shits will never let you t'Orger. Ir's cheap, efficiem" meaty and comes with sour cream.

And then there's the all-too deep arh:l\.lment of modding games on a Pc. Allow me to explain r'Or the non-geeks: gamers axe able to write their own additions to a game using a scripting lan-

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on the 1'52. Online console g-arningin a nltlSsiyc boost thanks 10 1-[1I/') 2, and with Xbox [ lye subscripci.ons at their current aM I\fl\JOG on the Xbm: would certainly snag an enOiTI10US nUJnber of subscribers. Especially one with hoes and car theft.

PC gaming is an industry writhing on the gro\.U1d, sputtering black goo in throes of death under the gig-annc robotic foot of the console. \'('hile the PC uccasionall" fires off a shot in :1 vain attempt to rc-assert itself as a power in the industry, it is onh- that: a vain ,\.ttempt by a dying soldier. h is a matter of ti.tne until the PC g'lming industry gives up and lays down for a good, long sleep. talarnen@irnprint.uwaterioo.ca

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FRIDAY. FEBRUARY 18,2005

Toronto's Blocks! . . . recording at the heart of Toronto's music scene Benjamin Ong SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

With a population of three million and several hundred individually named streets, it's easy to getlostinToronto. As the goodness ofhuman natute prevails, we bond together with our peers, helping guide them toward their goals and seeking their guidance to achieve personal goals. Community bonds keep together and guide diverse populations, thriving business communities and an exploding music scene.

For the last year, the Blocks Record-

ingClub has served as a home for some oIToronto'sfinestmusicians.Nottobe confusedwith a generic record label, the Blocks community often helps artists produce, record, release, distribute and promote records to listeners locally and around the world.

The Creeping Nobodies and Final Fantasy are two bands ·within the Block community that have recei.ved recognition both in Canada and internationally.

The Creeping Nobodies are one of Toronto's hardest-working bands, constandyrecording and touring while

•

KATIA TAYlpR

The Creeping Nobodies practice some neck exercises - proDably to make sure they don't get injured for their next live show.

managing to release Stop Movement, Stop Loss last summer.

Originally formed by Derek Westerhohnand1cfatthew McDonough in 2001 to cover songs by The Fall, the Creeping Nobodies have gone through some line-up changes overtheyears. The current line-up consists ofWesterhohn (vocals,guitar), McDonough (bass, vocals), Sarah Richardson (keyboard), Valerie Uher (guitar, vocals) andDennis Amos (drums).

Their sound can be described as post-punk ornoisy pop, dra""ingfrom influences such as the Slits, the Clash and the Wire. In an interview with Electrical Tape, an indie music DVDzine, Westerhohn explains, "The type of music thatI listened to didn't care if you had an idea how to make music. It was more important that you wanted to make music and wanted to pick something up and just make some sort of statement and go at it and figure it out as you go."

The CreepingNobodies emulatethis musical philosophy, delivering honest and passionate music forallreasons true to their heart. Theirlive show, whichcan jump from loud distortion to the fine sound of a metal chain dragging on the floor, is always aremarkableexperience.

Final Fantasyis the solo violin project ofOwenPallettandrecendyreleasedits debut album, HaraGoodHoJJle. Using a sampling pedal, Final Fantasy loops mini string sections \vith pizzicato riffs asa backdrop to Pallett's classical-sound-

ing singing voice.

Although Final Fantasy's recorded workis superb,itisoftenovershadowed by an amazing live show. The tighdy sewn melodies, combined with Pallett's modest charm, draws audiences in through intrigue and awe, oftencrearing

cathartic moments.

The Creeping Nobodies and Final Fantasy will be playing live at the UW Grad House with Waterloo's Tenth of :Mayon Thursday,1farch3 as part ofthe CKMS Radio Waterloo concert series.

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Will upcoming remakes buck the trend?

If the '90s were the rime of the sequel, then our current decade shall no doubt be known as the rime of the remake.

Old ground has been retread on pretty much everything- from ape planets to political thrillers to robotic wives.

Oh, and don't forget the chainsaw massacres and zombies, you can never have enough of those.

Or can you? When does enough become enough? Has a single remake achieved the successes, fmancially or critically, of its parent movie? Nope.

But there are two upcoming films that I think most definitely have the potential to change that. They are Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Steven Spielberg's War ofthe Worlds, both ofwhich are hitting theatres this summer.

Now Burton's past track record for remakes isn't so hot. While 2001 's Planet of the Apes did very well at the box-office, after some rime passed and people had the opportunity to ponder the out-of-left-field ending, all enthusiasm for the movie died.

That being said, Burton is a fantastic fllmrnakerand easily themostvisuallyarresringdirectorofourtime.Given that he plans on adhering much closer to the original Roald Dahl book than the '70s version, I don't think there <

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should be any cause for concern from the storytelling side. And I can't wait to see what Burton's done stylistically with the sugared-up world ofthe planet's most famous chocolateer, let alone the Oompa Loompas.

If the short teaser trailer that recendy showed up online is any indication, this movie has the potential to be as fun, distinctive, and everlasting as its predecessor. Plus it's got Johnny Depp and that man can do no wrong.

When does enough become enough?

Has a single remake achieved the successes, financially or critically, of its parent movie?

Next we've got the 800-poundgo-

ri.lla that is lVaroftbe Worlds. \11lha.tcan I say? I've got complete faith in Spielberg.

This man is the world's number one entertainer and will probably be remembered as the greatest filmmaker who ever lived. Want blockbusters? He invented 'em. ~!ant historical dramas? He's taken th~genre and knocked it out of the park. Want touching stories about everyday regular fellas? Look no farther. Team this man up with superstar Tom Cruise

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and you've got a formula for guaranteed success.

Granted, while their previous collaboration, 2002's Minority Report, was a hit, it wasn't a colossal success. It was an excellent movie, but I thinkit didn't do as well as it could have simply because the matute science fiction approach it took didn't connect with mass audiences too well.

That shouldn't be an issue for War ofthe Worlds - the original, ultimate alien invasion story. If nothing else, I look forward to seeing Spielberg teach Roland Emmerich what the real day after tomorrow looks like on the always big box-office Independence Day weekend, when the movie opens.

I find it amusing how some people choose to ignore entire sides of a particular industry. Not only is doing so a clear indication that they don't know what they're talking about, butitcompletely discredits them in the eyes of anyone who is exposed to their obviously uneducated opinion, especially when industry pros are praising and supporting the very thing certain people choose to ignore. Nobody in particular, just certain people. So, uh ... don't judge remakes by their past incarnations.

I'm not exacdy expecting works of art from either film. But! do think that if ever there was a pair of movies that could live up to their predecessors, it's these two.

Strap in, this is gonna be one hell of a fun summer. fvukcevic@imprint.uwaterloo.ca ,

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FRIDAY. FEBRUARY 18,2005

EATU Imprint's fond farewell to the NHL

for now

MOHAMMAD JANGDA, WINNIEFRED KUANG, JACQUELINE MCKOY, KIRILL LEVIN

Simple tips for backdoor fun

Altho. itts still considered taboo, in some circles, anal sex is rapidly becoming a familiar and accepted part of people's sex lives. In the past, I've heard girls use the term "exit only" to their boyfriends and I've met guys who refuse to have anal intercourse because they don't want to "seem gay."

For many women anal sex yeilds the most intense orgasms and most guys enjoy the feeling of anal (either giving it or receiving it). Whether they've been enjoying rectal stimulation fora while or they're just at the start oftheir "exploration," here are a few tips to ensure that your anal time is fun time.

First and foremost, don't assume . that penetration in the anus is necessary for the experience to be pleasurable.Just touching, rubbing or licking the outside of the anus can feel awesome. Second, not everyone feels comfortable haYing his/her rectum touched on its own, so combine anal stimulation with vaginal or oral sexI think you'll find yourself feeling much more at ease. .Ifs important that anal stimulation feelgood.1fanypeople claimthattheir first anal experience hurtlikeabanshee.

You need to be relaxed and use lots of lube - if you try to shove a penis or vibrator in quickly, it's going to hurt and you might ~ sOmething. Be patient and move in slowly (mtervals are a good idea). You can also purchase anal toys to prep your rectum forstirnulation - try anal beads (they're inexpensive and easy to use). .

For those of you who fear the embarrassment of rectum excrement ruining your playtime, a healthy diet

full of fiber and few processed foods

will keep you regular and keep your anal sex comfortable. Adult film stars often undergo enemas before engaging in anal sex, just to play it safe.

As with all aspects of sex, obeying the general rules of sanitation is a must. Feces can cause infection, so if your fingers or penis were in or around an anus, you can't enter the vagina until you've put on a new condom or cleaned your hands. Remember, front door to back door is fme, but back to front is a no-no.

Lastly and most important, talk to your partner about what they're comfortable with and make sure you're both on the same page when it comes to anal. If! may quote SueJohansson, "bums are out of bounds for both of you unless the trust level is high enough for it to be reciprocal" - so guys, don't try to dish it if you can't take it. jharries@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

17

FRIDAY. FEBURARY 18, 2005.

Vicious dependancy cycles

In the last six months, I have seen and catalogued the environmental status of every municipal dump in Guyana. I have stood in waist-deep water in the middle ·of the night handing out food hampers to flood victims. I have held endless meetings in order to write a strategic plan for the Guyana Association ofMunicipalities. But more than anything I have wondered if any of the above will make the slightest bit of difference to Guyana and its people.

As an intern, I am only the smallest cog in the lumbering machine of international development. But after watching this vast contraption from the inside for the past half year, I am left with the distinct impression that I am not the only one spinning my 'wheels.

Simply put, it is far past the time that we seriously ask whether statesponsored international development is the best vehicle for lifting people out of poverty and placing developing countries on a solid and sustainable path to a brighter future.

Calls for more tax dollars to flow into development aid are routine.

Engineers Without Borders, a noble group if there ever was one, argued that very point in these pages several weeks ago. But is the current spending achieving its goal? Throwing more Jell-O at a 'wall will not make it stick any better.

The \X'cirld Bank, in one of its periodic assessments of aid effectiveness, concluded that aid has been "highly effective, totally ineffective and everything in between." That's not much help. But the bank also

discovered that in developingcountries with "poor property rights, high levels of corruption, closed trade regimes and macro economic instability" development projects tend to fail. In short, countries that are not successfully integrated into the global economy remain poor, regardless of how much aid is provided.

People often reflexively choose development aid over international trade as the best way of promoting development on the basis that the latter will leave developing countries at the mercy of globalization. But, how much freedom of action does a dependence. on development aid from a foreign government confer?

National priorities can change directions just as quickly as the markets. If the Martin government ever gets around to completing its endless foreign policy review, one of the likely recommendations is going to be a dramatic refocusing of Canada's official development aid on a handful of countries. This makes perfect sense for Canada's overstretched aid agency but will pull the financial rug out from under programs in dozens of countries. Tough luck, I suppose.

In comparison; consider a hypothetical multinational corporation (insert requisite ominous background music here) that makes a multi-million dollar investment in a developing country. With millions invested, does this corporation not have a vested interest in staying the course and making the investment work? Aside from good intentions and always evolving national interests, what ties government development aid to one country or another?

The unpopular twin sister of foreign· aid that its proponents keep trying to hide in the basement is an unsightly wench called the dependency cycle. She'd get up to make herself a peanut butter sandwich, but people keep throwing peanuts down

on the floor to save her the trouble.

She would also really like to get a job, but even if she found one, the pay would not cover her bus fare. So she stays on the floor, eating free peanuts and getting cynical about the job market. \\Irant a less metaphorical example? In Guyana, foreign aid provides an estimated 50 per cent of the government's budget and remissions from overseas Guyanese account for a shocking 16 per cent of GNP. With such manna falling from the heavens, what is the incentive for the government to crack down endemic non-payment of taxes? ~'hy study hard to get a good job if there's a check from your uncle in Scarborough waiting at home no matter what you do?

The real tragedy is that Guyana has all the elements necessary to be an agricultural giant, but governments in the developed world subsidize their farmers with a fire hose, making it impossible fOl; Guyanese farmers to compete. Pass the peanuts please.

Fair trade and access to the global marketplace allows people, whether they be Guyanese, Senegalese or even Canadian, to take charge of their own development, break the dependency cycle and create a future on their own terms. The Asian-Pacific nations that have risen out of poverty in the last half-century· have done so by integrating themselves into the global economy and developing the institutions and policies necessary to do so.

If the developed world really wants to live up to its rhetoric of caring about the developing world, they will welcome the developing world as a partner in international trade and stop throwing them Jell-O, peanuts or whatever else can be spared. cedey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18,2005

Part seven - a potent weapon unveiled

The news of a second and third death shocked the entire university community. Parents started to call the dean, demanding that something be done, while other students simply left campus altogether. Applications to the university were at an all time low. No one was interested in going to a school with a serial killer on the loose, no matter how prestigious it was. Detective Korsokov insisted that the second death was not related to other two. In a press conference he told the public that Eric Katz had been a disturbed young man. His parents had

recentlygottendivorcedafterhisfather left his mother for another woman.'

Eric, who had a fascination with the ancient world and magic, related his situation to that of Medea's children.

In an effort to get revenge on his father, he had cast a spell, which'involvedhisown blood and death. Oddly enough, soon after Eric's death, his father was abandoned by the woman he ran offwith, lost his job, and ended up on the stteet with nothing. The police insisted this was a c~incidence and urged young people to avoid such drastic and fruitless pursuits.

The young woman who had been killed, Katie Phillips, was athird year pre-optometry student who had been very active in the school and community. No one that knew her could imagine why anyone would want her dead. By all accounts, she had been a lovely young woman who' wouldn't

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even hurt a fly. The police remained baffled but claimed to have a lead which they would soon be pursuing. lYIike's phone rang and startled him out of his reverie. He answered the phone blearily, "Hello?" ''1fike!'' Shannon said excitedly, "You are never going to believe what happened to me today!" ''Why? What happened?" ''It was like this ..."

Shannon was working busily in Dr. Trevors' lab when Detective Korsokovand a team ofpolice officers walked in. She looked up and she and the detective looked at each other. He raised his eyebrows when he saw her.

Clearly he remembered her. ''Is Dr. Trevors here?" He asked her gruffly. ''Yes,'' she said, "He's in the back.

Wait here, I'll get him for you."

She hurried into the back room, Dr. Trevors' office and told him the policewetethetetoseehim.Dr.TreVors stood hurriedly and came out to see the officer.

"May I help you officer?" Dr. Trevors asked.

"Actually, yes you may." the detective said, ''I am under the impression that you work with a type ofblooming algae, um, cyanobacteria, called anabaena flos-aquae. Is this true?" ''Yes. I use it in my research on a varietyofneurodegenerativediseases." "\~'hat do you mean by that doctor?" «\'{'ell, I mean diseases like Alzheimer's and other disorders that involve the binding of acetylcholine... " .''Yes, that's just fine, no need to get that detailed. Doctor, are you aware of the toxicity of the byproducts of this organism?"

"Ofcourse I am! 1'd be a fool towork with something I knew nothing about, especially one that could kill me within minutes if I handled it wrong. Listen, detective, what is all of this about?"

'The neurotoxin produced by these bloomingaJgae, anatoxin-A, was what killed both Will Bankmann and Katie Phillips. I'm going to need a complete list of anyone and everyone that has access to this lab. This is the only lab in the region that works with this substance."

"Oh my! Of course detective. But youmustrealize, we often leave the lab doors open for ventilation and, well, anyone could.walkin and take somethingiftheywanted to. We just thought that would never be the case!" c'You left Dne of the deadliest neurotoxins in 'the world sit~g around where anyone could take it!?"

Detective Korsokov said incredulously. "\Ve never thought anyone would want to use our research tools to kill anyone!"

Detective Korsokov sighed, "No,· I suppose you wouldn't. Look, just get that list to me. It still might have something we could use." The detectiveleft the lab. As he walked away, he could scarcely believehoweasyitwould have been. How simple it would be to get your hands on the deadliest poison on the planet. mross@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Comedian makes waves at UW ArdaOcal IMPRINT STAFF

World renowned Canadian comedian Russell Peters has confirmed a second show at Fed Hall on March 9.

The decision was made due to the overwhelming response to Peters' first show on Monday, March 7. The show, bcingpromoted by UWs new student collectivecalledThe Crew, sold outin3 minutes - the fastest any Feds event has ever sold out in its history.

The first 400 on The Crew's ticket wait list from the first show \Vill have access toticketstothesecondshow. Two hundred tick~ts \Vill be released to the general public on March 3 for$12 each, to a maximum of four tickets per person.

Tickets forthe first show have been given away in various contests around campus-TheCrewrecentlypresented their version of "fandemonium," at which students ate onion pudding and went on missions around campus to score tickets.

Pete1's,knownmainlyforhis sttaightup racial commentary, natural-sounding accents and jokes about his father, has beenincomedyforover 1Oyears. The Geminiawardw:innerhas seenhisinternational career blossom exponentially

after an e-mail forward with a link to his 45 minute comedy routine on a "Comedy Now!" television special circled the globe. According to his manager Ed Smeal1,Petersisno-wreceivingmorecalls for internationalappearances than ever before, including calls from Singapore, Bahrain, Dubai, Oman and India.

Peters' other accolades include being nominated at the Canadian Comedy' Awards for "Best Male Comic." He has ' performed numerous times at both the Wmnipeg Comedy Festival and Montteal's 'Just for Laughs." Internationally, Peters has stepped on stage at the Edinburgh comedyfestivalin Scotland and has hosted a 13-parttelevision senes on the BBC. Recently, Peters filmed a segment for ''Royal Canadian Air Farce" and has upcomingmeetings with Global TV for a television show possibility.

This September, Peters will invade Austtalia and New Zealand A CD and DVDcollectionareintheworks-thete's no stopping the comedic force that is RussellPeters! aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

AoKandThe Crew are Iookingforreaders to sttbniitquestions to ask Petersflran interview to be conducted on the dqy 0/ the show.

A tuna· casserole for the ages

Darren Hutz IMPRINT STAFF

Tell me ifthis scenario sounds familiar: you're voraciously hungry and if you buy one more damned Campus Pizza, your stomach will digest itself and you wilt be forced into a youthful bankruptcy. Groceries are running thin and who knows how long it'll be till the next trip to the store. Furthermore, your roommate just brought home the full first seasons of 24 and The OC onDVD and you feel a sttongcompulsion to justvegfor a few days and watch them both consecutively. Could there possibly be a delicious, nutritious dish that provides a fulfilling alternative to starvation while accommodating the hectic schedule ofahczy student? Doih suchamarvelexiston this mortal Earth?

Aye, and tuna c~sserole be its name.

Tuna casserole is great because you can make a shitload ofitin one sitting andlive offtheleftovers forweeks. I've never seen one of these go bad. It is one of those amazing foods that is equally tasty either fresh out the oven or three days later, l'ecent!ymicrowaved.

This recipe is very easy and prettymuch impossible to screw up. You can make it while watching TV, even if the noodles are over-cooked or you forget about it in the oven for an hour, the damn thing will usually still tum out alright!

Casseroles are unfairly stereotyped as old people food for pot-lucks or lame family BBQs but.theyare practical, cheap and portable. I find this set

ofingredients, which was passed down through my family yields the best results; 1 cup shell pasta 1 egg '12 cup frozen peas 1 can flake tuna 1 can cream of rnushroom soup (concentrate) Y2 - 1 cup grated cheese 1 imported beer

Directions: Bringwater to a boilin a big 01' pot, then add noodles, cover pot and simmer.

J\.fu tuna, egg, cheese and cream of mushroom soup together in a casserole dish vlith a wooden spoon until . mixture is somewhat uniform.

When noodles begin to soften, pour peas into pot. , Cook noodles and peas until noodles reach desired thickness.

Strain, then stir noodles and peas into mixture in casserole dish.

Cover casserole dish and bake in .oven at 450" F for 25 - 30 minute~.

Drink imported beer champ, after all that tough cooking, you've earned it.

The best thing about this recipe is that the ingredients are entirelynegotiable. Really, any kind of soup, any kind of pasta, or any extra vegetables lying around can be tossed in instead.

The only staple is the tuna. .

Let your creative juices flow, make your casserole be a true reflection of your personal humanity.

They also make for thoughtful gifts, like a fruitcake, but with more protein. The customizabilty can be endless.

For some dairy-free decadence, hold the cheese and use chicken rice soup. dhutz@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

19

FRIDAY. FEBRUARY 18, 2OQ5

Kissinger on being funny, when you're not I, no.netheless, am mightiest o.f all.

That explaills Powell's pmchant for red leather suits ...

No.te: Fo.r best effect, this co.lumn sho.uld be read in a thick German accent.

Adam: Dr. Kissingcl; thank you so much for being here todqy. As one 0/ the 20th cmtury's most memorable statesmm alld a master 0/realPolitik, I require your advice 011 a most pressillg matter.

Dr. Henry Kissinger: I am certainly glad to. help, Adam. Witho.ut yo.ur clandestine assistance in Latin America during the 1960s, I dare say wewo.uld be speaking Russian to.day.

/If!ytime, Hallk/You kllow how much I n!ff!Y destabili'(jllg regimes. Atrywqy, the reaSOl1 I askedyou here todqy isYOIl are onll oj the ffl1111iest people I know.

Those "pull my.ftllger"jokesyou used to tell in the UN general assemblY were priceless. Iguess what I 'm askillg is, would yolt share some oj your illsights il1tO humour with "ry readers?

I wo.uld be glad to., Adam. As you kno.w, I am widely regarded as the funniest U.S. Secretary o.fState. The gravity of this acco.mplishment beco.mes evident when you co.nsider it in co.ntext: Co.ndaleeza Rice writes fo.r Conan O'Brien and Co.lin Po.well is actually Eddie Murphy in disguise.

Yes. Unfo.rtunately, the stress o.f the job has weighed heavily o.n him, as was evidenced by "Daddy Day Care." But I digress. Humour is actually a very simple thing, Adam.

The key to. making a goo.d jo.ke is to. think o.f so.mething that yo.u find funny. Then tell that thing to. o.ther peo.ple. If you fo.llo.w this technique, and peo.ple laugh, this means yo.u are funny. Sto.p reading no.w and do. so.mething co.nstructive with yo.ur life. I suggest a stint in the Marines.

If, o.n the o.ther hand, you tell your jo.ke and no laughter ensues, you have a pro.blem.

Let us co.nsider an example. Y o.u are walking do.wn the street, in the rain, with a co.lleague. A wo.man, in an attempt to. pro.tect her small do.g fro.m the rain, has placed said do.g inside her jacket, its head pro.truding from the collar next to. hers. Y o.u make a jo.ke alo.ng these lines: "Take no.te, co.lleague. That woman, despite having the head o.f a do.g, is apparently able to. refrain from sniffing the genitalia of others and licking herself. Perhaps yo.u could learn from her example."

Hee hee. Gmitalia! Kissinger, you crack me up.

You sho.uld have seen Nixo.n when I to.ld that one. Laughed milk o.ut o.f his nose! Ho.wever, the Po.s-

sibility do.es exist that yo.u may make a sitnilar jo.ke and yo.ur co.lleague will no.t exhibit such amusement. The pro.blem lies either \vith their sense o.f humo.ur o.r yours. To. determine if the fo.rmer is at fault, fo.llo.w a simple metho.d I refer to. as "the Catf?y test." Enquire, "So, did yo.u happen to. read this mo.rning's Catf?y?" The comic strip Catf?y is to. humo.ur as arsenic is to. fo.o.d. Sho.uld yo.ur co.lleague respo.nd with "Hilario.us! My favourite part was when she said 'augh,'" said co.lleague has no. sense o.f humour and can be freely pushed into. o.nco.ming traffic at yo.ur earliest convenience.

If, o.n the other hand yo.ur co.lleague responds with, ''Yeah, Catlifs a big hit at the old folks ho.me. I laughed so hard I had to. change my Depends," then scowls at you and co.ntinues walking, ]o.u have been the victim o.fsarcasm. Yo.ur co.lleague do.es no.t actually like Catf?y, and you have made a bad joke. The problem rests squarely o.n yo.ur sho.ulders: yo.u are no.t funny.

Iguess this JlJou/d be the wrong time to mention my love oj Cathy, right?

Co.rrect. But, do. no.t despair, Adam. There are metho.ds that even the least funny individual can follo.w in o.rder to. squeeze o.ut a dro.p o.f humo.ur fro.m their otherwise grim and useless selves. The first is o.bservatio.nal humo.ur. This is a simple metho.d that anyo.ne can practice; yo.u

simply make o.bservatio.ns! Science Herbal Essences co.mmercials. has still been unable to. determine Interestil1g advice, Dr. K, but what exactly why this is funny. However, happC11sifyou've tried obseroational huit indisputably is, as I will demo.n-. mour andyou'r~ still not funtry? strate with this example: Adam, if yo.ur readers are unable Say yo.u find yo.urself at Waterto. master these previo.us two. methloo.'s student pub, the Bo.mbshelter o.ds o.fhumo.ur, they are basically sad (which, unbeknownst to. mo.st, was " excuses for human" beings. Howbuilt during the Diefenbaker adminever, there is still o.ne ro.ute to.wards istratio.n and actually is a bo.mb shelhumo.ur that may redeem them: ter). Simply state what yo.u o.bserve! writing a newspaper co.lumn where Fo.rexample: they do. phony interviews with fa"Why do. beer bo.ttles get narmo.us peo.ple. Despite being the lowro.wer to.wards the to.p? If they go.t est fo.rm o.f humo.ur, this method wider to.wards the to.p, I wouldn't can easily be mastered by "differkeep dro.pping them." ently-abled" individuals such as路lo"This place just pro.ves the theory bo.tomy recipients o.r chimpanzees. that there's an inverse relatio.nship beChimpal1zees, you sqy. .. (he glances tween attractiveness and proficiencyin thoughtfullY off into space). math .."

I will give your readers o.ne fmal Andfmally, ''Wow, this bar really tip, Adam: Thanks to. advances in smells like urine!" quantum co.mputing and the unHahahaha! Urine! lo.cking o.f the human geno.me, sciYes. Other po.pular to.pics beentists have finally determined the sides urine include the ubiquity of perfect joke. I will recite it here, in the coffee sho.ps and ho.w co.ld ids .outhopes that your readers might side. As yo.u have demo.nstrated, memo.rize i.t and deplo.y it appro.priAdam, o.bservational humo.ur ately. . wo.rks. Howev!;!r, its po.tency can be A ho.rse walks into a bar, and the increased expo.nentially by emplo.ybartender says .. . ing the so.-called Seinfeld '!!feet: .

Wait for it .. .

This invo.lves repeating the same Wait fo.r it .. . humo.ro.us o.bservatio.ns every day "Hey buddy ... why the lo.ng face?" fo.r eight years, preferably befo.re the Hahahahahahahah! Long face! It's evening news. Thanks to. ~e Seinfeld fUl1try because he's a horse. effect, netwo.rk TV manages to reIndeed. main po.pular, despite the fact that it is compo.sed o.f roughly 70 per cent ajohns@imprint.uwaterloo.ca <

ULLETIN CI~ASSIFIEDS

PUS FINANCIAL AID Visit our website at: www.adm.uwaterloo.ca!infoawards for winter 2005 loan pick up schedule, complete OSAP scedule with deadlines for winter term, scholarship and bursary information and work study positions for winter 2005.

February 2005 National Student Loan Service Center on campus Thursdays and Fridays, NH 1123,. 8:30 am.m - 4:30 p.m.

Did you know? OSAP academic rules are different from UW's rules. Failure to complete at least 60% of a full course load could result in OSAP probation and possible restriction.

UPCOMING Friday, F!:bruary 18, 2005 Coats for K9's event runs until March 31,2005. Creature Comfort invites you to bring in used or unwanted pet supplies (clean & useable) such as dog coats, booties, beds, etc., that will be

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donated to rescue groups and shelters in need. For further info and address: www.creaturecomfort.ca.

Sunday, February 20, 2005 Elena Klyucharova & Andrey likhonov, pianists. Elena plays: Schumann Carnival; Chopin, Andante Spianato and Grande Polonaise Brilliante. Andrey plays traditional jazz piano items:, Tristy; Traffic jam; One more time; My one and only love; Promenade; Two/five, and various others. Adult admission $20, seniors $15, students $10. kwcms@yahoo.ca Tuesday, February 22, 2005 The Interdisciplinary Coffee Talk Society presents University of Guelph physics professor Eric Poisson with his seminar "Our Strange Universe." The seminar is open to all uw, just drop by the Grad House at 5 p.m.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 AVIV String Quartet Sergey Ostrovsky, violin I; Evgenia Epshtein, violin II; Shuli Waterman, viola; Rachel Mercer, cello. Performing: Beethoven, Op.18#6; Prokofiev, #2; Sir Ernest Macmillan, Two sketches 011 French-Canadian folk songs; Tchaikovsky, #3. Adult admission $25, seniors $20, students $15. kwcms@yahoo.ca Thursday, February 24, 2005 Learning Disabilities Association of KW is hosting a Video Workshop at 7:30 p.m. titled "Last One Picked ... First One Picked On: Learning Disabilities and Social Skills." For location and to reserve a seat call 743-9091.

It's cold outside but it'll heat up when the Waterloo Fire Department takes to Fed Hall's stage in Hot Night in the City benefit Easter Seals. ,to cknipe@mecheng1.uwaterloo.ca.

Sunday February 27, 2005 K-W Chamber presents Orchid Ensemble Lan Tung, erhu; Mei Han, zheng; Jonathan Bernard, marimba and percussion. Enchanting virtuosity, with ancient Chinese strings and modern percussion.

Call 886-1673. '

PART-TIME CAREER OPPORTUNITIS

DES POSSIBILITES DE CARRIERES ATEMPS PARTIEL

Be part of our team and take pride in your career.

In the Canadian Forces Army Reserv~, we: • Are dedicated to serving Canada at home and abroad • Work in a challenging environment • Learn leadership skills

Faites partie de l'eQ!Jipe de la Reserve de rArmee de terre.

C'est avec dignite et fierte que nous sornmes: • au service des Canadiens, autant au pays qu'ai'etranger • appeles arelever des defis passionnants • engages adevelopper nos competences en leadership

Take up the challenge of working in today's Army Reserve.

Just look at what we offer you!

• Awide range of career opportunities • Practical handwn experience • Help with paying for your education • Voluntary overseas missions

Une carriere au sein de la Reserve de rArmee de terre, c'est bien plus qu'un simple emploi. Nous vous offrons: • de nombreuses possibilites de carrieres • I'occasion d'apprendre ~ travaillant • ' de vous aider 11 payer vas etudes • de participer 11 titre volontaire 11 des missions 11 "etranger

NOW HIRING! Visit our Recruiter at 550 Parkside Dnve, Waterloo

MAINTENANT EN RECRUlEMENT! Venez rencontrer notre recruteur, au 550 Parkside Drive, Waterloo

(519) 888-9782

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"Ultimate Questions" The Lord Jesus Christ is the difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence.

Please send pame and address to: Bible study, Zion· United Reformed Church 1238 Main St., Sheffield, ON LOR 1Z0 or e-mail bible@zurch.on.ca. See web site: www.zurch.on.ca.click on Links, ask for book. Sign up today, it's free.

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We fix any computer problem - $55 flat - plus free diagnosis! Pop ups, viruses, spam, hardware - we fix it all.

Visit our store or call 747-5979. Waterloo Networks, 220 King Street, N., across from WLU, behind Phil's.

Custom essay writing and research assistance - Essay Experts can write an essay or research papers on any topic, level and for any deadline. Call 1-877974-TEXT or visit EssayExperts.ca.

Room. for rent - uptown Waterloo, Caroline and Erb Streets. Call 4968273 and ask for Teresa or Bob. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detched home near both universities. Parking and all-amenities. Please call 725-5348.

Available immediately - 3 bedroom multi-level townhouse. New flooring, freshly painted, finished basement.

Flexible leasing options. Utilities included for $400 per bedroom. Professionally managed. Call Darlene at 7461411, Haney ~M. Free Apartment Finder Services! Over 8,000 apartments in our database. We make appointments, you save time!

High rise, low rise, town homes, furnished and unfurnished. All prices!

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May Rental - 3 bedroom large multilevel townhouse. Excellent student townhouse complex professionally managed. Utilities included for $410 per bedroom. It doesnt get any better than this!! Call Darlene at 746-1411, Haney PM. Four bedroom, excellent location, must see, goes fast, 34 Bridgeport Road, East - close to everything, washer/dryer, dishwasher, gas heat, cheap utilities, free parking, opem concept kitchen, dining room and living room open onto a private balcony, air conditioning, plus huge rooftop patio, perfect for students. Call 7417724, www.acdev.cafor more info and pictures.

September Rental - 3 bedroom townhouse in student complex. Excellent unit with new carpets and vinyl being installed before move in. New appliances. Utilities included $410 per bedroom. Call Darlene 746-1411.

Three bedroom apartment for September and May $395 per room. Five bCdroom apartment on 449 Hazel, $350 per room September 1, 2005. Two one bedroom $900-$700, 122 Columbia 8 rooms. 746-6327 or'501-1486.

Room available immediately until August 31, 2005. $350 per month plus electricity. Free laundry and parking.

Close to amenities and bus stops. Contact Parin 584-2181 or email your_new sublet@hotmail.com.

Call Waterloo Off-Campus Housing (W.O.C.H.) for all your housing needs.

Quality service and quality housing at www.rentWoch.com. 747-7276.

23B High st. off Hazel - Modern self contained 3 bedroom, living room, kitchen, complete bathroom, free laundry and parking. Group tenancy for, 3 students. No pets allowed. 12 month lease required - May 1st/OS to August 30/06. $415.00 per student per month. utilities included. Contact June Smith 416-491-1370, cell 416-7055648.

HELP WANTED Part-time help needed at Al Madina Egyptian Cuisine and Just n'Pita at University Plaza, 150 University Ave., W., Waterloo, beside Campus Laundry. Please bring resume in during business hours.

Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, KW Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2.

Erbsville Kartway and Minigolf requires full-time and part-time staff for positions in customer relations, yard maintenance and the concession stand.

Lead had positions available. Phone ~4-5650 or e-mail ekartway@execulink.com.

Camp Wayne for Girls. Childrens' sleep-away camp, Northeast Pennsylvania (6/18 - 8/14/05) If you love children and want a caring, fun environment we need Directors and Instructors for Tennis, Swimming (W.S.1. preferred), Golf; Gymnastics, Cheerleading, Drama, High & Low Ropes, Team Sports, Waterskiing, Sailing, Painting/Drawing, Ceramics, Silkscreen, Printmaking, Batik, Jewelry, Caligraphy, Photography, Sculpture, GuiOtar, Aerobics, SelfDefense, Video, Piano. Other staff: Administrative/Driver (+21), Nurses (RN's and Nursing Students), Bookkeeper, Mothers' Helper. Interviews March 21st. Call 516-889-3217 or 1, 800-279-3019 or apply online at www.campwaynegirls.com.

Wait persons with Sip program and line cooks needed weekends and weekdays at Angies. Call 747-1700, ~haron or Mike.

Pita Factory fast food restaurant is NOW HIRING staff for its new Cambridge location on Hespler Road, opening soon. Fax resumes to 8842950 or drop off to the Waterloo store in the University Shops Plaza (beside William's). No calls.

Tutor for grade nine student in English, math and geography. Two days a week for two hours each day at $ and hour. 519-742-7140, Mondays and Wednesdays, 3':30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.

COURSES SP-I00 Forest' Firefighting Course, Waterloo, March 16 -20, 2005. Please call to register Wildfire Specialists Inc. 2233 Radar Road, Suite 5, Hammer, ON P3P 1R2. Toll Free: 1-877-3815849. Ontario Ministry of Natural Resourses Accredited. No Guarantee of Employment.

& TECHNOLOGY rin~t~wclooa Fu~l-efficient

innovations burn, brightly

Adam Gardiner IMPRINT STAFF

The Canadian International Autoshow is well underway, attracting crowds which are estimated to total over 300,000. \~'hile the theme this year is ' ''Big On Design," emphasizing the important role the show plays in' sJ:towcasing automotive aestheticism, the Autoshow is also an important forum for manufacturers to highlight the latest technology in their new products. This year, there is plenty for a techno whiz to marvel at Fuel economy could easily qualify as the chief concern in the modern car world; with heightened fuei prices shadowing a fullte fuel supply, car companies are beginning to take seriously the need for increased fuel efficiency. The general problem has been how to deliver incr~ed efficiencyvlithout compromising power, as sales and demand suggest buyers are just as power-hungry as ever when it comes to cars.

Honda's solution has been to push the viability of hybrid technology, which uses a combination of an electric and gasoline engine; as a follow-up, to their Insight and variant Ovic models, they are introducing a hybrid Accord that will appeal to families.

Toyota, alreadymakingwaves with their Prius, is introducing a hybrid of their Highlander; along with the Lexus RX 400H luxury version, the two are the first mid-sized hybrid SUVs ever built Dodge is focusing on eliminating the redundance with their resurrected Charger; the model's V-8 ¢ngine features the Multiple Qisplacement System, already used in Chrysler's 300, which shuts off four of the engine's eight cylinders when they,

• COURTASY ARNE GlASSBOURG I CANADIAN INTERNATIONAL AUTO SHOW

One of the cars featured, GM's Hy-wire, has Ii computerized electronic "'drive by wire" system. are not needed. Volkswagen's compromise of the two technologies comes in the form ofa new fivecylinder ¢ngine for their Jetra model, which provides perfotrnance in the range of the larger V-6 models with a much higher fuel economy. The Jetta is also saving on gas by offering a six-speed automatic transmission. Also, in an industry first, General Motors is also introducing a new sixspeed automatic, in their Cadillac STS-V and will undoubtedly offer it in other models in the future.

The AutoshoW has always been a haven for concept cars, and one of this year's highlights is

the BMW H2R, or Hydrogen Record Car. The tiny vehicle, which looks like a cross between a Z4 and a land speed rocket, has set nine speed records in France for hydrogen cars. BMW plans t(') incorporate somt! of the technology found in the car's V-12 into its full-sized 7Series sedan.

While fuel economy offers a practical purpose for technologicalingenuity, many of ,the A,utoshow's e~its",are touting .~9~ technology helps their cars deliver a more pleasing dri'll-ing experience. Handling is a

major point of interest: Honda's firsf truck, the Ridgeline, is the ftrst fully independent suspension system to be offered on any pickup, the Magnetic Ride Control is a feature option for Cadillac and Mercedes-Benz, is offering an air suspension system'on their CLS500 sedan. Dealers for luxury companies, such as Audi and BMW, are highlighting their navigation systems, such 'as the ~fMI ,a,pq ipriye, respectively. agardiner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

UW students blown away by wind generation wind' technology is slow wind speeds, marginal,wind speeds. We need wind configurations for real world problems. This is a weakness of the resource that we can't control so you have to open up the technology to low wind speeds." .

Large wind turbines, like the one on Toronto's waterfront, are designed for high wind Last week I featured the UWSolarTechnology speeds and are usually found in rural or offshore settings. Some of these turbines can Education Program -.the group that was instrumental in putting solar panels on Federaproduce up to 5 megawatts of electricity tion Hall. enough to power a large office building.

STEP 3 of this project is a group led by Mike .

Smaller and more innovative urban technologies have been popping up all over EuMcWilliam and Brandon Seegmiller, two engineers who want to put up wind turbines on rope and are evt;n being proposed for the campus in order to showcase different renewnew Freedom Tower, which will be built on the site of the World Trade Centre in New able energy technologies.

One of the problems the group faces is that York. the Waterloo region i~n't very breezy. Glen There are three main techniques for urban Estill, a \vind expert and president of Sky wind technology according to Project WEB Generation Inc, spoke to a packed room of (Wind Energy for the Built Environment): sitstudents, staff and faculty on February 3. He . ting stand-alone turbines to supply surrounding buildings, retro-fttting turbines onto existsaid severa]. times in his lecture that Waterloo region has very low wind speeds that can't ing buildings or fully integrating wind technology into the architectural' design of a new support conventional, large-scale \vind techbuilding. ' nologies.

If not addressed properly, low wind speeds Low wind speed technologies have been a challenge to many develop~rs because of the could be a disaster for the. group according to 1Iaren Zimmer, an ES student writing her cost of installation versus the returI}. generated. . thesis on wind-power generation in Canada. "If The U.S. Department of Energy pointed out they install and try to demonstrate wind generathat most of the setbacks are problems related tion technology on campus and it fails, then to engineering and design. people look at the technology and say 'the These difficulties can be overcome and ~ew project didn't work, wind doesn't work, pedevelopments willpe instrumental in the future of wind as necessity and demand rise. riod.' That's not a good message to be sending to people," she said.

BecaiIse of Canada's commitment to the Kyoto Protocol, which came into effect on i\fike McWilliam, one of the student coordinators for the STEP \yind project, responded Wednesday February 16, Ontario has pledged to close its five coa1-frred power plants by 2007. to these concerns. "Part of the challenge to

High speed wind turbines for cleaner, greener energy and a healthy future.

This power-generation capacity will have to be replaced by other, cleaner technologies. \Vmdgenerated power \vill factor into this greatly because Ontario has a very high overall capacity for wind development - gteaterthan all ofGetrnany.

Phasing out coal is' as daunting a task as facing the Deathstar but the opportunity to

break into an emerging energy fteld is well worth the effort - both by the university and individual students. All we really need is a little faith in our engineers and some good \vindy days. rtemmer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY.FEBRUARY 18, 2005

PORTS

,By the skin of

teeth

IIskelllallR IlaPIIJ .kellie cut -II1II21

sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Warriors whip Hawks to gain playoff berth Rod McLachlan IMPRINT STAFF

After failing to cl!pture an elusive playoff berth in 4-2 loss to Guelph on February 10, the Waterloo men's hockey team dramatically turned things around- ending a two-game losing streak by soundly defeating their Battle of Waterloo nemesis, the Wilfrid Laurier GoldenHawks, 4-0 last Satur- . day night.

HIn this league, special teams are important," said UW heai:l coach Katl Taylor, "and we were happy with the execution of our special teams."

Taylor, who described the fan turnout and general atmosphere of the game against Laurier.as "outstanding," watched as his team went threefor-seven on the power play while shutting down the Hawks on all seven of their chances.

With the victory, Waterloo (12-82) solidified a spot in the first round of the OUA west division playoffs for the second consecutive year, ensuring that Windsor and Guelph \vill have to fight it out for the last remaining po~tseason berth.

Meanwhile, the Brock Badgers have already been eliminated.

With only two games left for each A Warriors player creates havoc in front of Laurier Golden Hawks netminder Justin Day.. team, early indications are that Waterloo's first-round opponent will deadlocked at zero heading into the centte SeanRochewas called for a check advantage goals six seconds apart with likely be York, Windsor or Laurier only 15 and 9 seconds remaining in first intennission. Some of the physito the head on one of the Golden 'with the latter team certainly having cal nastiness that was to come later in Hawks'players and was handed a twothe period. the potential to add to the hype ''We've always beenrea1ly tough on the game began to be displayed in the minute minor plus a to-minute missurrounding Waterloo's first-round first period when Laurier's Riley Moher conduct. our guys on discipline," said Taylor, series.

Just a little over four-and-a-half who said that if one of his athletes was w~stled for interference, receiving Regardless of which team Water- . two minutes plus a to-minute misminutes later, 6'3, 220-lb Laurier deplays without discipline, that' player, loo ends up facing, the Warriors c~­ conduct. fender Richard Hwodeky delivered a will "have to earn the right to play tainlyshowedlastSaturdaynightthat In the second period, the two brutal cross check to a Waterloo, player whether a penalty is called or should Laurier be their partner in the clubs continued to battle it out with atld received a five-minute major and not. annual playoff dance that is the 0 UA a to-minute misconduct for his efboth Lauriee!rgoalie Day and WaterPutting this php.osophy mto pracplayoffs there is no doubt that they loo's rookie netrninder Curtis Darforts. tice, the first goal was scored when have the tools to defeat them. ling keeping everyone off the On the ensuing power play, Wa: second-year centre Mike Della Mora, During first period action, Waterscoresheet. ' . terloo - showing tremendous disciwho was stationed in the slot, wired a loo forced Hawks' goalieJustin Day to pline and restraint by not lashing out great one-time pass from teammate However, the dynamic of the game stay on his toes, outshooting Laurier physically against \x'LU - made Adam Metherel past an unprepared began to shift with 6:46 left in the 15-11. However, the score remained second frame when rookie \Vaterloo .Laurier pay, scoring a pair of manJ?ay.

a

+n,"

With Laurier's Hwodekystillin the penalty box because his penalty was a major infraction, Waterloo implemented a strategic move on the resulting faceoff that saw the defencemen move forward towards the circle and the wingers move back.

"It was a set play," said Taylor, who said that sometimes a team lets down its guard and relax when there are only a few seconds leftin a period. ''We tried that out in Red Deer, [Alberta]. Sometimes it .works and sometimes it doesn't.

"On Saturday, it worked perfect."

See PLAYOFFS, page 27 .

Warriors squeak into hardcourt playoffs Jason Kennedy IMPRINT STAFF

They did it! The Warriors women's basketball team clinched the sixth and final playoffposition in theOUAwith their victory over the Windsor Lancers on Wednesday, Februrary16. With their backs against thewall, the Warri0rs went into Windsor and carved out a victory with a final score of 51-42.

Prior to the game, the Warriors women's basketball team was facing the end of their season as they sat in seventh position, just'two points out of a playoff berth. With the victory on Wednesday night, the Warriors fInished the season with 12 points, which saw them statistically

tiect with the Lakehead Thunderwolves for the final playoff spot. Determined byahead-to-head calculation, the Warriors made the playoffs due,to their previous two victories in the only two games played between these two teams.

Leading all scorers was \Vindsor Lancers guard Kim Dillon with 16 points, shooting an amazing 42 per cent from the field in 31 minutes of play. The Warriors offensive assault was lead by five-foot guard Katie Tucker who put up 14 points and three assists in 34 minutes. Jdtie shot two out of six from three-point range while sliooting an astonishing 45 per cent from the field. Tucker also played a smothering game on defence.

Also, contributing to the Warriors offence was Julie Devenny with 10 points in'37 minutes and Kimberly Lee \\"1.th 7 points 4I only 21 minutes played.

The win at \'V'indsor proved even more important considering the chances squandered by the Warriors. prior to the game. On Saturday, Feb-, rnary 12, in their second last game of the season with the last available playoff spot on the line, the team cameupshortagainsttheOUA West division leading Guelph Gryphons.

The Warriors lost the game, their fInal home contest of the OUA season, by a score of 65-60.

Five foot tall Warrior guard Kimberly Lee led all scorers in the

Guelph game with 18 points and 3 assists in 25 minutes. Lee's effort was well above her average points per game of 11.5 which places her 16 overall in the OUA scoring race. â&#x20AC;˘ Six-footcenterJulieDevennyalso chipped in with 13 points.

Spearheading the Guelph offence was 5'11" forward Kathryn Nevar with 17 points and 4 rebounds in 29 minutes of play. Helping out with Guelph's scoring was 5'9" guard Sharan Hollinshead with 11 points in 31 minutes. Hollinsheadis 10th overall in OUA scoring with an average of 13 points per game.

Guelph jumped out to an early lead of 20-10 but with Guelph in foul trouble, the Warriors were able to cut

the deficit to one point at half time.

Despite a strong showing in the second half, the Warriors came out on the losing end with a final score of 65-60.

Despite the.1oss to the best team in the West div:ision, th,e Warriors have clinched the sixth and final playoff spot with their victory over the Windsor Lancers on \Vednesday, February 16. With the victory, the Warriorsv..'lll be given the opportunity to compete in the OUA playoffs on February 19 against the number three-se_d McMaster Marauders (the fIrst and second-seeded teams get a bye in the fIrst round of the playoffs). Tip-offis at 6 p.m. in H3.mi1ton. jkennedy@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

23

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2005 ~

rrl rm James Rowe

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The W'arriors men's basketball t,'am used 1:\\'0 wins this past week to clinch a first round' playoff bye and to moye to the b1'ink of taking the Ontario Cniversity Association West Division regular season title.

On Saturday, February 12, the \\;!arriors hosted the Guelph Gryphons in their final home game of the regular season. The teams were coming off a hardcfought, emotional game in Guelph two weeks earlier '..vhich saw two players ejected in a one point \'Varrior yictory.

This meeting looked like it was going to be very similar as the teams got out to a fast starl'.

The Gryphons held a 22-19lcad midway through the opening halfbut the \\'arriors were beginning to take control as Guelph's outside shoot" began to falter.

T\\' would take their first lead with 7:30 in the first hal f and extend it to 3227 the half, finishing on a 13,"5 run. \,\'atef" lao's lead could ha\'e been much greater if not for their poor performance from the free throw linc, \\·here shut an ab\'sma17" 16 in the first half.

The \\!arriors camc out for the second half and dOm1narcd froln the starr, holding (;udph scorde,s for the first five minutes and using a 16-4run to rip the lid off the game. Strong play on the defemin; end \\'as the difference for the \'\'arriors as took adyantage of multiple turnovers the Gryphons to score easy bas .. ket5 at the other end.

"Our defence ',.,'as the key, we were able to get lots of consecutive stops in the first seven or eight minutes the second half) and keep them off the board," Coach Tom Kieswetter said. "\X\; didn't shoot well but uut defence kept us in the game." {n one sequence, a huge block by Uni,'ersity of \,'aterloo [i:)1"1.vard Michael Dayis led to an layup for Dave Munkley at the other end and energized the large crowd at the :\ctiyity Cemre. Davis played a tremen uou" second half and would finish with 9 points and"/ rebounds in 19 minutes of action.

As it became apparent tl1;l( the \X'arriors would I.'mise to ,'ictory, tempers flared once with three technical fouls handed out in tbe final ten minutes. Guelph coach Chris O'Rourke \n" assessed one of the technicals \,-,hile l!\\"s Mike Sovran and Guelph's Jeff Rosarwere given double technicals. l)\\' continued to build their lead as Guelph missed shot after shot from the outside and Kiesweu-er was able to give some of his bench

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players some playing rime as the game \vound down. For the game, the Gryphon,; shot.a meager 4-28 from three point range and just 25 per cent oyerall allowing U\\' to coast to a comfortable 61-46 win.

Onaday\vhcn the \\;arriors honoured seyen graduating players in a pte-game ceremony, they were led by the play ofversatile fifth year forward Sovtan, the team 11YP for the past three seasons, who finished with 11 points and 5 re,· bounds. "Mike played a great game," said Kieswetter: "He showed great decision making and played outstanding defence."

Kieswetteralso gave alotof credit to the trio of Davis, Andrew Coatsworth, and Dave Munkley who combined to hold Rosar, Guelph's top scorer, to just 4-20 shooting from the field on the game. "That was a huge focus for us and they controlled him really well," Kjeswetter said.

On \'{'ednesday, February 16, the \\'arriors traveled to \\;'indsor to take on the seventh place Lancers. This was a tight game from start to finish, but in tlle end U\'\' was able to overcome the zone defence of the Lancers to pull out an important 76,73 road victory in the final ten" seconds.

Invas a,.'1especiaUy devastating loss f()t \X'ind, sor because the defeal eliminated them from phroff contention, meaning that the Lakehead Thunderwolves will capture the tinal playoff spot in the OUA \Vesr Division.

Balanced scoring was the difference for the \\'arriors who had five players score in double digits as they shot an impressive 55.4 pet cent from the field for the game, led by Graham Jarman and Dave J\Iunkley with 15 points apIece.

The Lancers used a deep bL,nch to keep the g'£]rne clo:,t.~ (tine of their S~\y cant action. Leading scorers for \Vindsor ',.Yere Ryan Steer with 20 points and Allen Mujaeie with 18. \Vith the two wins, the \\;'arriors assured themselves of at least second plaee in the Ol]A \'\'eSl Division. \,\'ith that top t\Yo finish comes a much needed first round playoff bye, \yhieh will give the banged up \\/arnors a chance to get some players back healthy.

Reserve guard Matt Kieswetter sprained an ankle late in the win O\'er Guelph, while starter Graham Jarman has been battling the s,ime injury for some time now. Munkley has been sick and unable tc! practice oflate, and starting guard Gerard l\1agennis was limited to just 20 minutes of action against the Gryphons due to a nagging groin injury that has been problematic for most: of the season.

ay ff y

GLENN

Warrior Dave Mun~ley attempts a shot over an outstretched Guelph Gryphon, \Vaterloo's final game of the regular season comes on Saturday, February on the road against their in- to\Hl riyals, the \"\'ilfrid Law:ier Golden Hawks. :\ win against the Golden Hawks wouJdgive the \Yarriors ilrstplacein the \X'est Division and home court advantage through the OUA Championship. The \X'arrior5 '..vould also capt'~tre the regular season divi-

sion title if Brock were to lose their final game against]\1ci\Iasrer.

Regardless of the outcome of the Laurier game, the nationally sL"th-ranked \'{-arriors' next home v;ill be Saturda\', 26 at 2 p.m. ,d1Cn they begin their quest fOJ: a national championship in earnest with an OVA \Ven Division Semi-Final march up.

Presents

THIS WEEK IN

ATHLETICS

s

SAXON

ANDREA DUPONT, NORDIC SKIING Matt won tn.e Swimmer of the Me1'!t for the fuurth year in a row at the QUA Championships in Toronto. With wins in all. three of the breaststroka e-'.€'ots and the 200 1M,. ~1.att was. the only . (padwpte gold winner and a!.sQ had l.h~ high~ rank€:{! swim of 955.5 points 011 the S'him Canada perfcrmarKe ranking charts fur his 1:01.87 tim~ in the 100 breaststroke. Matt will mcwe on to the CIS r.:h"'Jnpio!l",hips hosted at the (onul<om·¥€~tth Gilm~s poot hI Edmf'nton the UniV€¥5ity of Atberta on Feu. 25~2:7.

Andrea ended a 21 year drought at UW by winning tho overall title at the OUA Nordic SIding Championships in North Bay. Waterloo has not won an tndividuat titte in Nordic siding since 1984. Andrea had an exceptional ¥veekend wino1ng hoth th~ 5km skate race on Saturday and the 10km classic race on Sunday.

24

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18,2005

When Gary Bettman met Bob Goodenow

I have the solution to the NHL lockout.

Not that it would do any good now. After all, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman already hosted the press conference/wake for the 2004-05 season this past Wednesday - shattering the record for most phony apologies eveidelivered at a media gathering in the process. And Bob Goodenow, executive director ofthe NHLPlayers'< Association, has already responded

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National Defence

with an equally infuriating and equally fake media meeting. But for ~hat it's worth now - which is nothing - I hold the secret to the NHL's problems. ' It all sJ:arted when Gary met Bob. Goodenow and Bc;ttman 'ate no more cerebral negotiators than they are a pair of very spoiled and very stupid children fighting over the last Chips Ahoy in the jar. By the end of the negotiating process, both sides had caved - the NHL gave up their linkage between salaries andrevenu\!s, and the players conceded to accepting a salary cap. But despite the thirdperiod effort to. salvage some semblance of a pro hockey season, the difference between the return of Hookey Night in Canada and NHL.

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Luxury tax rates were not deal breakers. Not even the salary-revenue linkage was a deal breaker. What broke this deal was 'two men - both too arrogant to bargain and too childish to maintain a businesslike attitude. I guess that's

what we all get for entrusting Canada's game to a pair of American lawyers.

As ifwe need any more evidence of the total incompetence of Gary and Bob, their corresponden~e in the past week was reminiscent of a ftrst-grader's rants abQut.theclass bully. In fact, with thewaythe two bickered back and forth in theirverypublicletters to each other last week, I wouldn't be. surprised if Gary and Bob used a box of

fatwax Crayolas to reject each other's ' offers.

NHL chieflegal officet Bill Daly and NHLPA senior director Ted Saskin came the closest to pulling a rabbit - and a hockey season -out of their hats last week. . In fact, the most constructive negotiations of this whole process were completed by Daly and SaslUn ~not coincidentally, in the absence ofBettman and Goodenow. But with Bill and Ted's excellent bargaining adventure falling short of Gary and Bob's approval, theNHL's fate was sealed.

So the NHL season has been flushed down.the proverbial toilet and many fans will move on - some, no doubt, permanently. Butwhile thereis no end in sight, fans can still hope fpr two major breakthroughs - in the form ofpinkslipsforthetwomeninch~.

Otherwise, hockey fans may never see the game the same way again.

And it all started when Gary met Bob. ameguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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labour Armageddon turned out to be $6.5 million.

Only Gary and Bob could solve aU their' philosophical differences. and still somehow screw up a ne~ deal-and an entire season ofhockey.

The two lawyersturned-executives-turnedchauvinists did nothing constructive during the entire work stoppage to this point, choosing to fling rhetorical diarrhea at each other rather than opting for the more low-keyand more productive- method of hammering out a deal. If Gary and Bob spentless time measuring their dicks and more time bargaining, the season may have been saved. , Instead of fulfilling their roles as the rum driving forces behind a new deal for the NHL, Gary and Bob turned out to be the collective reason that'the 2004-05 season was canned.

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From February 11-13,;Brock University hosted the ~UA swimming championships for the second time in three years. Fourteen schools, including the University of Waterloo, competed in the 42 different events and the defenpingchampions, the University of Toronto Varsity Blues, were given a t6ugh swim.

The UniversityofWat~rloowasled into the meet by veteran swimmer Matt Mains who was ultimately awarded the Male Swimmer of the Meet award for his success, which included wins in four events.' Mains continued his dominance by winning all three breaststroke events and the 200-metre individual medley.'

In addition to his quadruple gold from the OUA Championships this past weekend, Matt also obtained a rankingof955.5 on the Swim Canada performancechartforhisexcellenttime of 1:01.87 in the 100m br~aststroke.

For his successful swims, Matt has been made Athlete of the Week for UW. Despite Mains' perfo~ce, Toronto's team managed to retain its elite status in swimming again this year, winning with top scores in both the men's and women's events, as well as· obtaining both male and female coach ofthe year awards. The Waterloo contingent finished the competition in third overall on the men's side and . eleventh overall on the women's side.

Other members of the swim team al~o fared well at the c~mpetition in their individual events, many ofwhom obtained personal best times. Among

them, Kader El-Fityani ",'ill be joining I'v;fatt at their next meet, the CIS Championships, which will be hosted by the University of Alberta and held at the Commonwealth Games pool in Edmonton on February 25 to 27. Kader was able to qualify this y~after failing to do so in the two previous years, with a qualifying time of2:24.47 in the 200m breaststroke. ,Alex Watson had a fifth-place ftnish,in the lOO-metre butterfly event and a sixth in the 200-metre butterfly.

Despite his success, however, he failed to qualify to join his teammates in Edmonton.

The women of the Waterloo swim team failed to place above a 16th place standing in any of the individual events.

The relay teams, for both men and· women, proved Waterloo's greatest strength. The Warrior men's relay team acquired a bronze in the 400-metre medley, but just failed to capture.a second one in the 200-metre medley relay, instead finishing in fourth.

Members from the "B" team also did well at the competition, as a great contrib~tion was made by all swimmers to help obtain the third-place overall finish. Teammates EI-Fityani, .Mike Goodwin, Raymond Chow and Kou-Bao Tong placed 8th in the 400 and 10th in the 200 medley relays. Of specWnoteis WaterlooswimmerErich Rohmann who abstained from participating in any individual event but the 200m free to be anchor for the "A" relay team, As coach Brian Cartlidge said, "It was with their cooperation and superb . performances that allowed us to perform very well in all of the relay events,

and that was a key to ftnishing third."

Coach Brian C.artlidge supported his male team's ftnal standing saying, "After a strong dual meet season in which the men only lost to Toronto and Western, the placing was as good as we could have expected. It meant thatwewereabletofendoff[Lakehead).

"In particular Laurentian, who had shown thattheywere really quite strong when they won their division championships in December while we were again third in our division that had Toronto and Western in it."

As far as the women's standing, Cartlidge was very understanding considering the lack of experience with which the women came to Waterloo.

And while Mains, who is in his fifth and fmal year of eli.gibility with the swim team, with EI-Fityani will travel to Alberta for the CIS Championships at the end of February, there are high hopes that some of the other breaststroke specialists will continue their hard work and remain dedicated, so that over the next two or three years they too can achieve similar successes.

In the off-season, Coach Cartlidge notes he hopes to recruit someone to "fill [I\-latt's] 'flippers,' since not only was he at a very high calibre in the breaststroke events, he could swim all ofthe other st9kes ata levt;l that helped us be competitive in the dual meets across all of the events."

I t is hard work and dedicatio.n, says the coach, which \\'ill continue to propel Waterloo forward as a strong swim team that will hopefully continue to have a strong team and many more qualifiers for Championship meets.

25

FRIDAY. FEBRUARY 18, 2005

Volleyball teams both end season on high

Ashley Wilson SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Lady vo"eyba"ers end season onhighnpte

The 2004/2005 season ended this past weekend for Warrior's volleyball on a winning streak. Waterloo swept McMaster in three straight sets, obtaining a second consecutive home victory and their fIrst win against the

Marauders this season. the young team looks fot\yard to an The game was highlighted by de-. , even better 2005/2006 season. fensive and aggressive playas the women worked as a team to fInish Men's volleyball double win their season positively. The weektotal in final game of season end games held at the PAC not only On the last weekend of their regumarked the end of the OUA season, larseason, the Warrior men's volleyfor the Warriors, but also exhibited ball team seemed to fInish every the fInal victory for Kelly j'.fcFater, an game in three straight sets either Osha\vaenative, who has completed against or for them. her fifth year at \'{laterloo and is graduTheir fIrst game of the weekend, ating. Katie has maintained a key held Friday, February 11 at the PAC, role on the women's volleyball team saw Waterloo dominated by the visover the course of her entire run with iting Queen's Golden Gaels, who the Warriors., beat them in three straight sets. The T,he Warriors fInished in fIfth win by Queen's secured them a spot place overall, one spot short of nabin the playoff fInals. bing the fInal playoff spot. After The UW men turned this score seven wins and 12 losses this t!!rm, ' around, however, the following day and were victorious over RJlvfC. With the victory, the men's volleyball team ended an otherwise dismal season on a high note.

The Warriors fInish the season , \vith two OUA games won and 18 losses resulting in a tie with Rlv{C for 10th place overall.

Track and Field team to use McGill as tune-up for QUA Championships

GLENN BARTLEY

The women's volleyball team celebrates 'a set-win against McMaster on Saturday, February 12.

On the weekend of February 1213, the Warriors track and fIeld team travelled to Cornell University in Ithaca, New York to compete at the Kane Invitational.

Sprinting was the focus of the competition as Rebecca Murrant continued her excellent season ,,'.lth a \vin in the 400m, earning her the distinction of owning the second-best time in U\V history.l\lurant's teammates Kate Bickle and Cindy Willits placed a respectable second and fourth.

Shane Ferth, Drew Haynes, Davis Dowhaniuk and Kirk Ewen devastated their competition in the 4x400m, reaching the fInish line ~'.lth a 20-metre lead over their closest competitors.

Continuing \'7aterloo's winning streak was runner Colin Lawrence.

After a grueling 1000-metre effort, Lawrence came out on top, winning the second individual event for the Warriors.

Other noteworthy performances include a second-place ftnish for the women's 4x400m and NicoleJenkins' fourth place ftnish in the high jump.

The NHL's Conn Smythe Trophy, awarded annually to the MVP of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, was one of the trophies on display at the Warriors men's hockey game on February 12.

One last competition remains for the track and fIeld team before they travel to Windsor the weekend of February 25-26-27 for OUA championships. The team travels to Montreal Friday, February 18 to participate in the McGill University Invitiational.

Hockey trophies displayed at Warriors gi\me

f During the Waterloo ,Warriors men's hockey game against the Laurier Golden Hawks on Saturday, February 12, fans in attendance were treated to a special perk. Also in attendance at the game were many of hockey's famous trophies, which made the jourpey to Waterloo from the Hockey Hall of, Fame in Toronto.

Among the trophies present were the now-retired trophy from the

Canada Cup andnewIyadopted World Cup trophy which Canada easily becametheflrstcoutryto\\minSeptemberof2004. !twas not just international hockey trophies which were on display, however, as some of the hardware given outannuallyattheNHLAwardsCeremonywere also present. Speciftcally, the Lady Byng l\:femorial Trophy which is awarded to the NHL's most gentlemanlyplayeFwas a popular sight for Warriors fans.

Alsoaccompan)'.ingthehockey trophies were some famous Canadian hockey artifacts including jerseys and equipment worn by professional hockey players.

Stafffrom the Hockey Hall ofFame were also on hand to answer fans' questions and guard the prized hockey artifacts.

Campus· Rec seeks students for modelling other in a variety of lifesaving and physical challenges.

This is an excellent opportunity for our Iifeguarding team to gain valuable experience. If you're interested in joining the team, contact the club manager Pat King at pattyking45@hotmail.com.

Tim Alamenciak IMPRINTSTAFF--'

UW guarding lives in Ottawa

Three teams of four lifeguards \\'.ill be travelling to Ottawa on the weekend of February 26 to participate in a lifesaving competition against other Ontario universities. The competition pits rookie teams against each

3-on-3 basketball needs volunteers

Campus Rec is running a 3-on-3 basketball tournament to help raise funds for Boops for Heart'and the Heart and Stroke Foundation. The tournament is being sponsored by the likes of Dooly's and McGinnis Front Row. There are hundreds of

prizes donated by the sponsors that So you think that you want to are up for grabs for the winning basbea model... ketball team.

Campus Rec is looking for happy The tournament runs from 4 p.m. fItness people who are \villing to be until 11 p.m. on Friday March 4, and models in their second annual fItall day on Saturday March 5. Regisness PhotoShoot. tration for competitors is open until The event will take place on Fri- ' Friday February 18, and it costs S40 day Mal;ch 4 at 1:00 p.m. in the CIF per team. fItness studio. Participation is free, It's open to all students, and you and the photos will be considered can compete at the same time. For for use in their guidebooks and fItmore information on the event conness advertisements. tact Marc at extension 5693 or Kim For more details, or to register for at extension 5921. You can also see , the photo shoot, contact Michelle the event website at. Robinson by email at www.athletics.uwaterloo mlrobins@uwaterloo.ca .ca/CampusRec/lntramurals/ 30n3tournament.aspx talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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it James Rowe ... - - -

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Campus Rec's second attempt at settinga Canadian record for the largest indoor fitness clzss had similar results to the Erst: falling well short of the record. The event, Fitness Explosion, dre\\- 44 participants to the Columbia Icc Fields gym, ,vell shott of rhe 187 participants tl1at attended the eyent held b\' the University of:\lbcrta a year ago.

Fitness Explosion was an hour long fitness class rnade up of four different yarieties of \\'orkouts. It in·· eluded I5-minute sessions each of Cardio Crunch, TKO, TNT, and a yoga lesson. of the participants in the.

in an hour of effectiye exer·· else,

"'The m8.tn idea behind the cyeflt was not to break the record so much as to get people involved. This gives people a chance to come out, get to know the instructors and try different

1 s n f: lIs things, and hopefully they will find something they like and ;;ign up for a class," said :0.fichelle Robinson, the Campus Rec co-ordinator of special events.

Although the event \vas inspired by the challenge issued by the Universit} of Alberta, Robinson still considered it a success despite 110t even coming dose to the record and also falling short of the 60 people \vbo particip:1ted last term. "1 think 44 people is a great turnout, not beating the record, but good nonetheless. It's tough to get people to come out on an icy \X'ednesday eyening during midterms."

This is just one of many free events which Campus Rec puts on throughout the year in an attempt to boost enrolment in their regular fitness classes, Nextup will be exam fitness classes, in \l,"hich three 01' four different classes are run per da}' during the exam period, all of which are free for students ..More information about these classes will be posted on the Campus Rec website in late March,

It was argLJabh' the most irnpurtant game in the history of\\·oman's hockey at this school. In the program's third vear of existence, this was the flrstyear thatthe \'{'arriors had a legitimate chance of reaching the post season.

1f the Warriors were going to make the playoffs, they were going to have to beat their division rival, the Western Mustangs, on their home ice, \Vaterloo has had success oyer the i\lustangs this year with a win and tie in their two previous meetings. The \l\'arriors were hoping that trend ,':ould continue on Saturday afternoon, During the first period, itlooked as though the hour-and-a-halfbus ride to London may have affected the girl's legs. \"I(.'estem outshot \\I'aterloo 16-7 in the opening frame. \'7arriors goaitendetJ\lexis Huberproved a formidable barrier, however, stopping everything that the Mustangs threw at her h"l the first period. ''\Ve knew we played like shit, we were expecting \'{'estern to come out and not give us a challenge, and \l,'e didn't play our game," saidLauraSturch, a left winger with the \Varriors hockey dub.

After a scoreless first period, the

second period signalled the beginning of anew game. The \Varriors came out flying:nlegame's firstgoalcameauhe seven -minute mark of the second pc·· riod, as a result of some hard fore checking behind the Mustangs net.

Team scoring leader Kirsten Lindstol was able to make good on a pass trom Jinemate Krystal Benesch to break the scoreless tie.

The remainder of the second period was all \XTarriors as weI~ outshooting t-he J\Iustangs 15-3. \\I'aterloo extended its lead to two goals when captain Lindsay \'Xrood capitalized on a pretty passing play by Kirsten Undstol and KeUyCosta.

The third period was a more even affair with the shots on goal nearly evening out at9-8in \y'estern's fayour, The \Xfarriors, however, put the game out of reach w1.th about 10 minutes left to play, On it turnover in the neutral zone, l\Iirm1da Humphrey sent Julianne Schmalz and Lindstol in on a two-on-one. Lindstol tipped a pass from Schmalz past \Vestern's goalje, Sarah Pickard for her second goal ofthe game.

Alexis Huber's aspirations ofa shutout \vere spoiled when the Mustangs sCOJ:edwi.th justundereightrrjnutes to play in the game.

The \VarriOJ:s three-goal lead was restored when rookie Kaitlyn

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arriors earn playoff s ot, respect Ryan Rusnak

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Stephanie Sos, Brenda Son Kee, C~mie Badgley and DanieUe Waite participate in Campus Ree's Fitness Explosion which fell short of breaking the world record.

.

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

r

McDonald scored 'with four minutes remaining in the 1hird period, \vith the assist going to Michelle Curtis and I "aura Sturch. first official point. I got a goal earlier in the season, but someone else got credit for it, so that was pretty exciting, that goal finished them off," noted Laura Sturch.

The tinal score of the game was 4-1 for the Warriors. With the win, the ladies from \'{'aterloo ensured that t()r the first time since the progralns inauguration, \'{'aterJoo women's hockey \\-1.11 be represented in the Ontario U niversityA thletics playoffs. "It was huge, I think we earned respect from everybody, for some people woman's hockey isn't a big deal. 11us was our chance to prove that woman's hockey deserves respect," said Sturch.

The line of Curtis, Sturch and McDonald played a pivotal role in the \Varriors \v-in as each member registered a point. KitstenLindstollead the \X'arriors, however, tallying three points in the contest.

The Warriors' last game of the season is on Saturday, Febmary 19 at Columbia Ice Ficlds at 7:30p.m. at,>ainst the Guelph Gryphons.

At this point it is unclear who the \X'ar.riors' first round playoff opponem will be as the 0[;/\ Eastern division is very tight. The playoff seedings will not be completely deter·· mined until the final weekend of the season. \'{-ithrhe performances the \'('aniors have been gct6ng from key players such as Huber and Lidstol of late, it would seem as team couid play the role of the Ol lA's dark horse, As Sturch "\\'e're in a confcrencev,'henwcreup agah'lsr Laurier and (;udph, butwe can skate with any team, 'we didn't sneak in desen-ed it. "

I Indoor hockey I get over the

am yet

Steve Ute: SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

In response to the challenges placed before him, Coach Da\id Hammond The \\'aterloo \\'arriors Indoor appeared to be making adjustments Hockey team won three of their four throughout the tournmnent by mo\'games this past \veekcnd in the OU A certain players to different posiqualifying tournament hosted by the tions --, including Adleman to deUtuversity ofToronto--- proving to fcnce for the titst time in her varsity be good enough to earn them the career -.~ to maximize the output from second seed for the ~UA fInals on his lineup.

March 5 at York University.

However, the moves did not come Solid efforts at as a complete surall positions led jJnse, as t({victories versus I-Iammond has IIWe have yet to play Guelph and York been kno\.vn by by identical 3-1 our best game his players to scorelines in the make minor against Toronto. first and last shake-ups to the games 0 f the four They are beatable." line"up to get the game round- Jenna Adleman best from his robin, A good Midfielder, Warriors Indoor ~quad. "1 think defensive effort Hockey dlat he \.vas just complemen ted _________.___._______ _ trying to rake adwith key saves by yantage of my goalkeeper Kate Betts-\Vilmott made defence which is the stronger part of for a 4-0 victory over the Carleton my game," concluded Adleman on Ravens in the third game -,- a triumph the move that affected her personally, that guaranteed the \>;'arriors a playoff Staring for [he Warriors on off~nce berth for the 0 FA finals. The blank were Megan \'{'il50n who potted four ing also represented the first OUA goals for the black and gold, and shutout for the rookie goaltender.

JessalynJennings who chipped in with Yct the hos t Uniyersity ofTmonto three t\vine-touchers over the course Varsity Blues once again proved to he ofqua!ifyingplay, the \""amots' greatest nemesis, bes6ng Looking ahead, the safety of the U\V' by a 6-1 margin in the second second seed position for the OUA match-up of the round"robin forn1at. playoffs and tbe three weeks of prep a·Toronto dominated the Held, as they rarion time ,yin afford the team the have made a habit in recent luxury of revisiting their strategiesYears, ourscoring their opponents to urperblps developing new ones --- to the tune of a 16-2 differentialrhroughdekat the heavily favoured Varsin' out the tournament, Blues and replicate last year's In spite of the Varsity Blues un de , medal performance, The \X'arriors flex!" rakc the floor

of the tea_iO_'s chances , "\'{'e haye yet [0 midable our best game Toronto,

27

FRIDAY. FEBRUARY 18,2005

Playoffs: Warriors strive for home ice advantage as season winds down continued from page 22

After ~IattLevicki won the draw, the puck wentto captain Chris Hopiavuori, who moved it to Sha"\vn Germain.

Germain, in turn, passed it over to Waterloo's Jordan Brenner, who vlired it past an unsuspecting Day. The entire play only took six seconds to complete and saw the \X'arri-

ors head into the second intermission up 2-0.

The third period ended up much the same with the \X'arriors olltshooting Laurier 17 -4 for a game total of 42-21 in favour of\'{'aterloo and outscoring the Hawks 2-0 in the period to win the game 4-0.

Darling earned his third shutout of the season, serving as a definite

testament of his skills as a rookie in the OL'A. The \'('arriors will now host the hard-working Windsor Lancers (7 -93-3) tonight, February 18, at the ClF Arena.

The second half of the weekend doubleheader, which \vill close out the regular season for both squads, \\111 kick off in \X'indsor the following

night.

"The last time we played them, they gave us more than we could handle," said Taylor.

Game time for both contests is set for 7:30 p.m.

Waterloo is 1-0-1 in the only two meetings this season between the two clubs prior to this weekend.

"There is no question they are

fighting for their playoff lives," said Taylor of\X'indsor. "Sure [my] guys are looking forward to the playoffs, butin the same breath we're fighting for home ice and position in the standings."

-with files from UW men's DockO' rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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