2004-05_v27_no31_Imprint by Editor Imprint

UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER

MARCH 18, 2005

trIo stud nt t David George-Cosh IMPRINT STAFF

Some people aim high, but Benjamin Sanders, a third-year electrical engineering student, is aiming for something higher - space. Saunders is one step closer to living out his dream of hc(:oming a Canadian astronaut when he and three other team members were selected by the European Space Agency (ESA) as fmalists for its eighth annual student parabolic flight program. Sanders, president of the Waterloo Space Society, is heading to Amsterdam on an all-expense paid trip to investigate the effect ofvarying gravitational pull on the human eye in order to better understand how increased ocular pressure can affect one's visual field. Their experiment will take place on the infamous "Yom it Comit," an airplane that is able to simulate short bursts of weightlessne:~ hy flying in a l'Dllcr-cd.,ster-like pattern.

Sanders and his team (all other team members are from other Canadian universities) have faced an uphill battle in completing their project. Along with finding an additional $5,000 offunding, this is their second attempt in entering the ESA's program. "One of my team members has tried twice before to get into this program. One of his previous ideas involved the displacement of organs inside astronauts' bodies due to the newfound freedom in micro-gravity. Apparently, a sky diver's liver/kidney can move up to four inches upon landing. Since all of our terrestrial first aid and CPRis based entirely in a I-G environment and since most of these techniques are based on finding organs from hard immobile bone structure (ribs, joints, etc), the idea was to fmd a better way to perform first aid in space. Unfortunately, this idea

VOL 27, NO 31

IMPRINT. UWATERLOO.CA

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wasn't picked because of the limitations in having an ultrasound device on the airplane, so we modified it this year to focus on vision." With the upcoming buzz about missions to Mars, work has to be done on a terrestrW-level in order to learn as much as possible ahout the effects that micro-gravity has on the human body in order for the Mars green light to be lit. Sanders explains how this pertains to his research, "Spacereseatchhas helpedagreatdeal in understanding conditions such as osteoporosis, since the body slowly sheds its skeleton when not needed in a near zero-g environment. We're hopingto better understand the varying effects on the human eye and whether any expansion of ocular liquids may impact vision." Luckily, Sanders and his team have had the benefit ofbeing mentored by the Canadian Space Agency (1;SA), specifically Canadian astrona~\t n,\ Dave Williams, who has taken a mentoring role with the team. ''The CSA helped send over 40 Canadian students to the largest annual space conference which was held last year in Vancouver. It was there that I met the team that has now become my parabolic flight group. Had it not been for that, we wouldn't be going this summer. Furthermore, they are going to try and help with funding to get us over to Bordeaux in July." In order to reach space, perseverance and determination are keyingredients. However, Sanders has found something more inspirational that has motivated him to where he is now: "Dare to dream - if you really believe in something, you can make it happen." dgeorgec@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

COURTESY OF "THE WATERLOO SPACE SOCIETY"

"One potato, two potatO..... UW president David Johnston, Canadian astronaut Dave Williams and Waterloo Space Society president Benjamin Sanders strike a pose.

hy discussion results in eds supporting No Team Motion at Students' Council meeting concerning WPIRG fee referendum provokes councillor to resign Alex Doukas IMPRINT STAFF

Hours of debate came down to one key decision this past Sunday by the Feds about the upcoming Waterloo Public InterestResearch Group referendum. A conflicted Feds Students' Council voted to support the No Team in the referendum on the \v'PIRG student fee. Far from unanimous, last Sunday's vote sawl1 council members in favour ofthe motion, seven against, and one abstaining. A member of council immediately resigned to express his disappointment

with the decision. Many councillors felt that Feds should remain impartial as a governing body at U\'V'. As a result of the motion, the executive members now serving on the committees governing the referendum have been directed to "advocate to [Feds] membership our official stance on behalfof the Students' Council" in favour of retaifting the refundable fee on student fee statements. A key amendment clarifying the Feds' position seemed to win oyer many undecided councillors. Pro-

posed by engineering councillor Jonathan Fishbein, it read, "be it further resolved: Feds council is taking a 'no' position for the reason that it does not feel that the referendum represents a viable or fair solution to the question of refundable fees." Arts councillor Paul Lehmann, who submitted the original motion to support the "no" side ofthe referendum, agreed with the amendment. "1 find it funny that lthe amendment] would have swayed some councillors to vote for the motion. [A review ofancillary fees1would haye hap-

pened any\vllY, as it was on Carmen Lam's VPAF election platform, and she won," said incoming Feds Vice-President Internal Lawrence Lam. "[The motion] will in no way quell the debate surrounding the status of WPIRG fee ... this was a bad move for council to make," he added. "Responsible student government does not endorse the unfair and arbitrary targeting of one group who receives a refundable fee oyer others," Lehmann said when flrst presenting the motion. "In the past, much work was done

to find the best solution- if this council wants to continue to adhere to our objects ofincorporation, which demand responsible student government, it is incumbent upon us to work together as a council with all groups on campus to to solve the problems in the collection of ancillary fees," he added. The adoption of the official "no" position prompted the resignation of David \'Vbeatley from his post as Feds co-op math councillor. See DECISION, page 4

FRIDAY, MARCH 18,2005

Across t Riding whip 5. U\'Z'disabilityvan 11. Clothing 14. Short railway engine 15.1 Tnhappy in French 16. Female reptoductlye cell 17. StrawberriesinJanuary 19.1\ssign a role 20. Office supply chain 21. Edible 23. Even short 24. Pledge allegiance 26. British baby carriage 27. Depressingin character 29. Mentally fit 32. So long for now 33. Trendy 35. River mud 37. ] apanese penny 38.TomHanksremakeof1955classk

41. Baby guitar

A publishing company so people could easily get their work published." Kate Dawson

A karaoke place so underagers can go sing." Semele Wong

1B arts

38 biology

43. Waterless 44. Some or all 45. Guilty feeling 47. Shorten a movie

49. Greek fabulist 53. Therefore or consequentiy

54. North Ameriom Indian diet staple 56. Aborigine people 57. Queen Amidala Portman 61. Repeats 63. Homer's catchword

"Dave's borg emporium.

Dave Dilworth 1B science and business

A spa so people can get beautiful."

Hayley Demore and Ashlee Gerant 18 applied hearth science

25. Je\'V-ish practices 28. 1980s NOJ:\veg1an pop group 30. Zip, zilch, nada 31. Jazz songstress 34. Funeral bonfll'c 36. One that rents 38. The purpose of penile surgery 39. Baby goat 40. IV[alt whiSh)' Down 41. Tables turned 1. Never happens at Turnkey 42. Mainstay of the Silver Spur 2. Network devIce 46. Indian state, former Portuguese 3. Fuel additive 4. Ship'srear colony 5. Pirate workplace 48. Steamy love affair 50. Salt water s(Jlution 6. Mountain tops 7. \짜:>rkpJace ofJarnes Bond's colJeague 51. Relif,rious lay person

64. Opposite of christian 66. Squeeze out an existence 67. Pull out all the stops 68. Poker stake 69. Wolf horne 70. Banned fox hunting element 71. Look suggestively'

.Peli" Leiter

52, 1 d~')fl~;; kn(r~'l'-

8. &rpent-like sound 9. Portico 10. Transmitted between points 11. Generals and Admirals 12. Female reproductive step 13.l'Ifale gatckeeper 18. Home to Disneyworld 22. Mcntally quick

55. Power to control 58. Cheap dnmk 59. Junlp right in 60. Very light brown 62. And all the other authors 65. Chinese maj0i1ty lillloogksc)ulis@imprint.U\vaterloo.ca

T'lanks to Julia Harries (1,3,4.7) and Michelle Titus (2,5,6,8 & final)

IIII JUMBLE

1. Gan 21105) " ___ that shower time is fun time -[...]grab some waterproof lube, get into the ShOWC1' and soap each other up."

5. Gul16/04)"A ___ similar to male cum (minus the soldiers) is expelled when the woman finishes."

MEEERRBM

DIFUL

I "An escort service." TarekNafee

"A new hookey league."

1B science and business

2B arts

Kelvin Cheng

2. (Feb 13/04) "I want to get flicking, sucking, licking, , body trembling oral sex and give it too."

6. (Oct 31/03) "Participating in ~_ _ is for those who enjoy being either submissive or dominant; pain is not an aspect."

RIPGULSN

GODANBE

3. (Feb 11/05) "Kiss and breathe all around her vaginal lips, then slowly move your way " towards her

SIRTOLIC

(, I

"Andrew's beer store beN cause the Beer Store is too

damn far."

"Skateboard and tattoo parlour so that I can do my two favourite things."

Andrew Ratcliffe

Carina Yu-Chen

18 chemical engineering

18 arts and business

[ I]

[

7. (Feb 11105) "Breathe heavily on her genitals and use the vibrations of your ___ to make her feel even better." E V 0 C I

4. Gan 7/05) "Let's recognize that nipples are automatically sexy because they're part of ___ and are hot."

8. (Nov 28/03) "Even if the activity is simply a fuck, kissing stil1 should contribute to the experience."

STERBSA

YCHARNU

Final Quotation: (May 16/03) "___ the campus with proud smiles of ecstasy on National Masturbation Day."

I-..........!._

FRIDAY. :MARCH 18, 2005

Legality of ab~rtion路 debated

Michael Currie of the UW.Debating Society and Stephanie Gray of the Canadian Centre for Bio-Ethical Reform faced off Friday in front of a packed audience. Darren Hutz IMPRINT STAFF

Is abortion murder? In 1988, the law against abortion in Canada was sttuck down, leaving an ethical void where amoral stance might stand The UW Debating Society and UW Students For Life joined forces to hold a debate between pro-life director of the Canadian Centre for Bio-Ethical

Reform~Gm~.,andfuurthyearl'\~r stu:.

dentandintemationaldebatingchampionMichael Currie. Cunieatgued the pro-choice position, which was not necessarily his personal stance. Gray opened by pointing out that laws should reflectwhatis right and what is wrong. She argued against l~ abortion, stating that,"the unbom are human like the rest of us, and killing a human is wrong". She argued that humanity is a . continuous process that occurs atfertilization,immediately when the sperm meets the egg forming

as a person. "My honourable Lady G~y has commited the material fallacy. She assumes that because a fetus has all the components ofa person, it is a person. This is not the case ... A developed psycheisadefiningcharncteristicofaperson."Cunie also pointed out' that banning abortion violates mothers' rights and only increases the number of unsafe back-alley abortions. ''Bill Clinton said"it best: 'abortions should be legal, safe and rare.'" From that point on, through th~ rebuttal and cross-examination, the debate became mainly an argument over the notion of personhood. Gray upheld that "there is no objective definition of personhood," so rights must be granted to human beirigs. She compared the "slaughter" of the unbom to the genocide ofJews duringthe holocaust. Cuirieargued thatmoralitycannotbeapplied to a country uniformly, so the lawmust allow people to make their own decisions. "A person must have a quality of attentive mental life to receive rights, especially if those rights would override the rights of the mother, who is certainly a person". He also criticized her use of' 'blood and guts" filled videos and comparisons to the Holocaust. Later, the floor opened up for audience questions, quickly fonning lines for each debater. Tom Chervinsky,anactiveJewishstudentcommented that, "the pro-life communitycrossesthe linewhen it compares abortion to the Holocaust or any genocide. Instead [ofmakingarationalru:gument], the PLC chooses to inflame emotion ap,d trivialize

Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

Universities/Colleges

A Harvard student is hoping his self-operated"dorm-cleaning business, Dormaid, can withstand a recent editorial in the school's Crimson newspaper which accuses the business of dividing students based on their economic stature. ''By creating yet another differential between the haves and have-nots on campus, Dormaid" threatens out student unity," reads the editorial, which calls for a student boycott of the service. But 20-year-old 1-fichael Kopko, who launched Dormaid last month, is blastipg The Crimson for being "essentially against creating wealth for society." Kopko claims to have 50 clients already signed up and says he is aiming for $200,000 in annual sales by next year, which I assume depends on whether or not the topeducated doctors and lawyers of tomorrow can find the time to do their own dusting.

a zygote. 'The zygote is whole, alive, genetically distinct and human." Gray also argued that if the fetus is considered a human being, and the killing of a human being is wrong, then the law must forbid said killing, regardless of the situation. ''Wouldwepennitparentstokilltheirfive-year-<>ld due to poverty? We would not!" said Gray. Once her main platform was established, the gravity of this issu~setmas to play: tt&~memoryoftho byNazis~other graphicvidoorecordingsof " ~ ~Indoing aIsotriviatize~O\'t'1l crowd was silentas theY'\l;'atd:led b!oodyimago; of ooiecm.-es." fetuses being removed from their mothers. In defence, Theresa .Matters, president ofC\'" For his initial speech Michael Currie argued that Students For Life, said that no comparison besomething must be a person, not merely human tween two ideas implies that the both ideas are the to receive all the rights guaranteedbyCanadianlaw. .same," ... [but] there are definitely some key "A severed arm has human DNA, it is genetically similarities ... Namely, the victims are dehuman.distinct,butitis certainly nota person," said Currie. ized,thelawpermitsthekillingoftheiruiocentlives, He postulated that because a fetus registers no and the victims have something society wants." electroenc~halogram (EEG) until the third tridhutz@imprint.uwaterloo.ca mester,ithas no brain activity and does not qualify

Canada Ontario legislator Lorenzo Berardinetti has

introduced.~ne-m ide_

1 ;

11 t

ill ~

'lJlomen more than men for the same product or

service. The bill, called "An Act to Prohibit Price Discrimination on the Basis of Gender," would makegender-basedpricingprejudicesagainst women a hwnan rights violation, allowing for penalties ranging from $2,000 to $5,000. Berardinetti was inspired to create the bill when his wife was charged more than he was at a dry cleaners after dropping offsimilar items. He later learned thatwomengenerallypay more for clothing, shoes and hair care, among other goods.

Mock etnergencies staged to attract interest路

International

Sabrina Bowman

Scenarios were being run all over campus, includingin the Great Hallin theSLC where acardiac IMPRINT STAFF arrestwasstaged,andinDCwhereavictimofabar fight hy awaiting attention. CRT volunteers were With people falling to the ground from heart evaluated on theirperformance, based on the steps attacks and barfights breaking out all over campus such an emergency situation would require. The followed byred-jacketedrescuers perfotmingemerscenarios stopped several people in their ttacks. gency first aid, you may have wondered what was CRT has been brushing up their skills off going on Monday at UW. campus as well A fewweeks ago, they attended the The UW Campus Response Team was out in 11 thNationalConference ofCampus Emergency full force, demonstrating their quick reactions in Responders. The conference \"'as full four days of emergency situations. The team wasrunning"Opcompetitions, first-aid seminars and meeting up eration Campus Wide," where three emergency with other campus first-aid teams. simulations were played out. The event ran at One ofthe main events at the conference was a various loyations on campus, starting at 12 p.m. first aid competition. It consisted of mock sce- . and occurrin&every 20 minutes. narios, including victims of domestic violence, The Campus Response T ea}:Il (CR1) is a Fedattempted suicide and coordination with other eration of Students service comprised 6f student emergency services as patt ofa mass casualtysituavolunteers. The volunteers are ttainedin CPRand MOHAMMAD JANGDA tion. first aid, and can be seen sporting their red t-shirts Brittany and I(ourtney Dupak resuscitate CRT fared well in the competition, coming in at Fed Hall Tuesday and Thursday nights, as well Brian Smith, a student Hsuffering" from at the top spot in ,?- scenario forthe fastest casualty as at the Bomber on Wednesday and Saturday the fastest defibrillation of a evacuation, as well as evenings. The team also attends events across DDR exhaustion at Campus Cove. patientin cardiac arrest campus to help when emergencies arise. "CRT is great t'? get involved in. It's good for Operation Campus \Vtdeoccurs e,verytermand CRT and that you gain leadership skills and meet on-campus activity: but also [gives you] life-long has been running for the past three years. It helps people from every faculty." the teatn volunteers sttengthen their weekly ttain- . skills. You learn and you can help people," said Forinformation, check out the CRT website at: Suman Bhamra, a 2B science student and CRT ingand puttheir skills into practice. I tis also meant http://watserv1.u\\.aterloo.ca/-cit. volunteer. Terence Tang, a 4B bioinformatics stuas a tool to encourage people to leam more about dent added, "[I like the] helping people aspect of sbowman@imprint.uwaterioo.ca and get involved \'lith CRT.

mOiUh which '\l;'OUki make it illegal to charge

A bomb alert was issued at a post office in Germany this week after a package waitipg to be delivered began vibrating and emitting a strange noise. Officers seized the sender of the package only to discover that it contained a life-size blow-up sex doll. The noises were coq:ring fror,n an electrical device inside the doll The man told police he was sending the doll back to where he . got it from because it kept turning itself on at inopportune times. The govemment ofthe Indian state ofAndhra Pradesh is offering to pay 100,000 rupees (approximately $2,300 US) to families that produce just one daughter and no other children. They hope this will help round out the state's sex ratio-943 females to every thousand malesand counteract traditional preferences for sons, since male children go to work and become prosperous while female children are married off. In related news, Andhra Pradesh has appointed India's leading female tennis player, 18year-old Sania :Mirza, as "state ambassador of the girl child." She will appear on billboards reading, ''Your daughter may be the next champion,': which is certainly catchier than the old slogan, "Your daughter may be sold to our neighbour's son like a Hickory Farms cheese log." mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, MARCH 18,2005

Decision: concerns raised about coristituency repros entation about the transparency o'f the comContinued from cover mittee's proces·s. "J'he council, despite numerous protests from its councillors, adopted :Lehm~nn urged Feds ptesidenta universal stance on an issue they elect John Andersen to "take up the reins and tackle a problem that this should remain impartial in," campus has been faced with for my Wheade)' said. He expressed concern that a conyears." He later challengea Andersen flict existed between the Feds stateto commit to enacting the recommendations of the report during his ment and the ,,"iews of his constituency. "Resigning allows me to best term as president. Andersen refused to commit, saying it would be irre-: . enact.the v,i.shes of my former consponsible for him to do so, as he was stituency, whetherthroug1tactive camunfamiliar with the report. "'To me, paigning, or simply answerip.g questions 'without having the burden of the position of the I;<ederation is clear: This issue will be decided by a referexpressing a universal stance I cannot support," he said.. endum. [The motion] is an expresRandy Besco, the St. Jerome's cosiop. of an opinion ... people can take it for what it's "vorth," Andersen op councillor also .argued against the motion. "I disagree v,i.th the motion said. In addition, the Arts StUdents because I don't"vantmycQnstituents to vote based on what the Federation Union Council voted \\i'ednesday to has to say on the issue," he said. support' the No Team in the March Arts councillor Pat Borrelli re- . 28-29 referendum. "The Arts Stusponded, "If you feel that the reason dent Union Council believes that you were elected was to make in\X;'PIRG is a vital part of our univerformed responsible decisions on besity community and ·therefore we half of your,constituents, I urge you support the NO campaigii and that The Feds Students' Council met Sunday at Federation Hall to decide upon a motion put forward the WPIRG refundable fee should to.vote." not be removed. Furthermore, holdThe motion also included a call to advocating the No Team in the WPIRG fee. referendum to be held March 28~29: review a 2003 report on the collection ing a referendum that targets a specific the Yes Team and No Team camthat they constituted "campaigning www.wpirg.com. The referendum of ancillary fees. The recommertdaorganization is not the appropriate committee decision cited the similarpaigns were fined $75, which is 15 per outside of the campaign period." tions, released by a Feds-mandated. method of addressing concerns recent of their original spending limit The No Team was fined an addiity to \1;'PIRG's own website at committee ih 2003, examined the isgarding refundable fees," said ASU stemmiPg from comments published tional $75 for a statement proclaimwww.wpirg.org, calling the Yes sue of ancillary fees at UW, including executive vice-president Stephanie in last week's Imprint. Although the ing support for \WIRG on their Team's use of the acronym in their Woodburn. The motion, put forthose paid to Imprint, CKNIS, ~'PIRG statements were made prior to the website "in poor taste." www.uchangethewotld.orgwebsite, ward by Neha Chugh, was passed and dozens of others including stuannouncement of a referendum, the while the Yes Team was ordered to unanimously. , dent societies. Th~ report wasHever Feds ReferendUm ConamitUie.~ \.' chapg~,.i~, ~Qs~~ .addJ;ess .frQUL; . ~ 1 ifnPlemented, pardy due to concerns in other refer'erid~ both :',,-' ...,

news,

4 •

Recognizing those who guide us through the tough times

A select group ofU niversity oEWaterstudents will soon follow in the footsteps of Donald Trump and prime-time television as a UW-

100

homegrown version of''TheApprentice" gets uhderway. Faced with three days of sales challenges and tough boardroom negotiations, competing students v,1.ll struggle to avoid hearing that phrase that has all too quickly become cliche: ''You're fired" Like the popular weekly TV show, the event will see competitors 'struggle to catch the ears - and the billfolds - of wellknown and powerful mentors. As students, our young lives are

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literally defined by the difficult decisions we face and the tough choices we make. \X-'hetherit's in what direction to take our careers or how to balance our social life \vith academics, the years spent in the halls of higher learning are marked by the constant requirement to make important, life-shaping decisions. In thest; important years;many of us are either fortunate onvise enough to find mentors to help guide our decisions. Earlier this semester, I had the privilege to attend a lecture by Patrick Pichette, the <:urrent president-operations of Bell Canada. While the lecture was held as part of an international development conference, Pichette's talk was simply titled "Words of Wisdom." He told his own life story: from his years of travel with the Canadian youth-experience organization Katimavik to his relatively rapid rise to a powerful position in the Canadian business world. A brilliant yet humhly-spokenindi"i.dual, Pichette talked at great length on how his own development -'- personal and professional -was made possible with the help of the great mentors he had encountered throughout his life. An inspirational lecture, it was easy to personally identify with Pichette's talk of his mentors in life. In speaking to my fellow students, I find that mentors play a role in almost all of our lives. Many of our most influential leaders appear in our own personal spheres. The guid-

whether the person be an industry ing individual is often mother or leader or specialist in a specific area. father, sister, or brother, aunt, uncle In the best-case scenarios, these lucky or close family friend. For some, the students are able to work closely mentor is characterized as a powerful person - "nil' aunt was a cabinet with their mentors, learning the depths ofwhatever theitchosen craft minister" or "my father is a powerful maybe. corporate lawyer." For others, the gtfdance takes a more personal form Others of us do not have our life plans figured out so easily, but know -:- "my grandmother'S spirituality enough to set off in has always been such an inspiraone general direction or another. These intion to me" or ... our, mentors dividuals often find "I'm so glad that have always been that the inspirations my big brother . always takes the just seem to come out a light along the of the woodwork time to sit down (oadside ... an v,i.th me ifI need along the way. One personal ad...i.ce." day, you're working in$eparable part diligendy towards a For many of of youth and chosen goal. Then, us, our mentors you encounter somehave always been inexperience. one who takes you a light along the either further into roadside, helpyour chosen field or in a whole new ing to guide us through the tougher direction along the way. During his decisions that are an inseparable part "\1;10rds of \1{'isdom" talk, Pichette ofyouth and inexperience. They have noted that this was largely \vhat had been where we will soon be going happened to him: in college, a profesand for better or for worse can help us to avoid the pitfalls that they or 'sor spotted his talent, befriended him and recommended he apply fbr a their peers may have encountered. Some do not find a mentorv,i.thin Rhodes Scholarship (whiCh he won). Later, he met inspirations in the busitheir family structure, but instead ness world, who encouraged him to seek their inspirations out in the further his own education in the world greater co'inmunity. Some of my peers - always those I am the most of business. As with Pichette, our jealous of-seem to have been born mentors are often numerous and varied and we truly benefit from learning' knov,i.ng exactly what they want to a little bit from each of them along the do in the world. For these lucky folks, fmdinga light is merel);a matway. ter of identifying someone who is an adilts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca inspiration in their chosen field,

FRIDAY. MARCH 18, 2005

Fundamentalist Christians and their warped priorities

Theg.tp between liberal and conservative Christian denominations has never been wider. Just look at the recent happenings within the evangelical fringe: along with their quest to deny human rights to same-sex couples, the latest news from fundamentalist land is that a Wisconsin evangelical walked into his churchJast Sunday and opened.ftre, killing seven people before taking his own life. Now, I won't say that this happens at every . evangelical chUrch. Not all of them can brag that they harbour people with enough zeal to go on shooting sprees - but some of the views portrayed behind closed doors are prettyvirulent. Several weeks ago, my local evangelical minister encouraged th'e congregation to contact our local tiember ofP:irliamentand tell him to oppose same-sex marriage rights. Jesus, on the other hantl, lived among us helping the poor (Luke 12:33), healing the sick (Mark 8:25), feedingthe hungry (Luke 9:17) and bringing people to God (Matthew 9:8). I can't get over how disgustingly hypocritical ids to spend money ftghringon so-called moral issues while thousands are starving in Africa. The United Church of Canada, thelargest Prot~ta,ntden~nin the country, has raised over $1 million for the tsunami victims. According to their website, they oppose militarization and capital and corporal punishment. They promote universal health care and affordable housing while being actively opposed to the missile defense system and the U.S.-led invasion ofIraq. Evangelical- churches, on the other hand, view beating their children ("spanking") as necessary discipline and will s,top at nothing to deny same-sex couples the right to marriage that heterosexuals have enjoyed for centuries. The Canadian branch of Focus on the Family, an American "Christian" organization ftght-

ing same-sex marriage, is spending $1.5 million (subsidized by Canadian taxpayers) to put ads in national newspapers across Canada, urging people to "protect" traditional marriage. Fascinating, I ftnd, that a self-described "pro-family" group wants gay marriage illegal. thus halting the creation of thousands ofloving families and denying future children the right to have families. Shame on them! Social liberals such as myself are baffled by the priorities of conservative Christians. The economy, war, disease and poverty don't seem to matter to them -all they care about is forcing their social agenda on everybody else. Why do they bitch and complain? The solution is so simple. Are you against a~rtion? Fine, no one will force you to have oni! just don't try to force others to abstain from abortion! We have reproductive freedbm in this country and the . decision is between a: woman, her husband (if applicable) and her God (if applicable). Are you against same-sex tnarriage? Fine, we won't force you to marry someone of the same sex. To be fair, you shouldn't try to force someone to marry someone of the opposite sex either. I have the right to marry the woman I love; it would be hypocriticalfor me to say to women that they don't deserve the same right. Agaiqst euthanasia? Fine, we won't euthanizeyou-justdon'tinterferewithother people's rights! Against cloning? Fine, we won't force you to be cloned, just don't interfere with other people's rightsl Against stem-cellresearch? Fine, we won't force you to participate, just don'tintet:ferewith~pe.ople{&~tsl . The point is dear. There's no problem with conservative Christians being against same-sa marriage, abortion and the like- they ha"e the rightto hold ,"vhateverviews they want. But that right does not extend to forcing their views upon others and they should respect the hardfought freedoms we have in this country.. With hateful views, in contradiction to the .love professed by the Bible, being preached from the pulpit, is it really a surprise that a member was confused enough to open fIre on a church service?

CLASS OF

2005 It seems like a long time ago, but do you remember what it was like back in high school when you were applying to come to university? You were faced with big decisions! Why did you choose the University of Waterloo? Was it the Maclean's univ~rsity rankings? Was it a campus visit? Or the scholarship or bursary you received?

mjohnson@impri'rit.uwaterloo.ca

Whatever it was, something helped you make the decision to chooseUW, and now you're only months away from graduating ...

Congratulationsl Now it's your chance to give something back!' It's your chance to ensure that UW's reputation for excellence is maintained, and to ensure that we have thEt'sem_M~""_ooeL bursaries available to attract the best students:

How can you do this? By becoming involved in the 2005 Grad Class Challengel路 Since 1989, graduating students< at UW have worked together to give back to their University! The Class of 2004 pledged over $272,000 to~upport scholarships, bursaries, equipment funds, endowment funds, and other priority projects for the Faculties and Departments across campus. .

In the coming weeks, a Grad Class rep will be asking for your' pledge as part of your Faculty or University'college Grad Class Challenge.

For more information, contact your Faculty or University college. Grad Class rep or visit us online: .

www.development.uwaterloo.ca University of

campaignwaterloo BUll DIN 6A TALE NT T R U 5 T

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AHS I ARTS I CONRAD GREBEL I ENGINEERING ES I MATH I SCIENCE I RENISON I ST. JEROME'S MACC I MBET

FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005

Working wit~ what you've got

Rides and water ..

will not always generate action. Even worse, it could prove to beunfOlUlded. The WPIRG issue, and the larger issue

corporations. The committee recommended better advertising about refunds: a commonrefund protocol, including atleast of refundable fees, last appeared in the one general refund day in the ~LC and winter 2003 tenn. .Ii committee was workingwith the UW administration to formedto iOvestigate the existing sysimprovethe student comprehension of tem.ltpresentedareporttocounciland the fee system. While thereportwas not aftermuch debate, the Students' CounPassed, and therefore not set in policy, StudentswillvotieMarch28and29 to say cil at the time rejected the report. TheWPIRGfeeisoneofmanyfees . the Feds executive at the time commitwhethertheysupportpaymgtheWPIRG ted to addressing the issue. Two years fee. Oddly, students must answer "no" that students pay in addition to their tosupportW,PIRGor''yes''tohavethe regulartuitionduringagiventenn.Some . later, little has happened and students now face a referendum to strike the refundablefeestruckfrom their fee statefees are mandatory, like the Feds fee, but refundable fee for WPIRG. ments. I do not intend to repeat what the majo~ty are either strikeable or reThis piecemeal approach is not an fundable. Strikeable feesincludefeeslike has already been written, but rather to acceptable way to reform a system. To the studerit health plan, that can reexamine the referendum concept. knock off one fee at a time Wi.1lleave moved from your fee statement. ReHavingjustfinished ttollingihrough students with few fees to pay; not the all manner of Feds council minutes, fundablefees alsoinclude those thatyou way to foster a dynamic campus compay to student societies, endowment reports,statementsande-mail,I'vecome munity. With the exception of a few to the conclusion that politics involve funds or the three campus corporaendowment fund fees, most fees on plenty of going in circles and not very tions: Imprint, WPIRG and CKMS. students' statements are very modest. lIJIlChmovementforwardAnyonewho Withitsreport;tabledattheMarch 10, Havingstudentspaytheirfees to each has been to a meeting,.be it a board, 2003 Feds Students Council meeting, the Advisory Committee on Incidental individual organization, whether councilor something smalier, will agree through Quest or in person, puts an Fees hlghlighted several issues with the that discussion quickly turns into debate, for the sake of debate rather than unnecessary burden on the individual current fee collection system and student organizations. The time that debate for the sake of action. suggestedsom solutions. In summary, theymustspend to justify their existence It is surprising how a little bit of the committee recommended that the can be better spent serving the students researchgoes alongwaytowards solving current system be improved logistically through their program offering. The anissue. Occupyinganoffice?rhanding. • and that fortnal agreements be initiated current system could be improved; rewith the student societies and in a lengthy petition will look good, but versing the system one piece at time is asinine.With briefreference to WPIRG: at the moment, they are the best social advocacygroup thatwehaveon campus. Counselors: Combined chlldcare/teaching. Must be able to teach or lead one or more of the following activities: gymnastics, tennis, swim, sail, canoe, water ski, arts They serve as an umbrella for various vnc:IUCllmg stained glass. sewing, jewelry, wood, photo), (lance, music, theatre, archery, and diverse causes. Targetingonegroup, Iwiilderl\e!5strips, field sports, equestrian. for financial or political reasons, is Service Workers: including openings for kitchen, laundry, housekeeping.secretarle5, maintenance & grounds, arid kitchen supervisor. irreprehensible. Ifthe system needs to be .N(In-§~m~'k",,·~.June 18 to August 25. Attractive salary (US) plus travel allowance. improved, fix it, don't pick at it. Apply: Applications and photo gallery are available on our website: 'fhiSisourworld;let'snotpussyfoot klppewa.com or contact us at the numbers listed below for a staff around. hure. IKiDD,ewa. Box 340, Westwood, Massachusetts, 02090-0340, U.S.A. tel: 781-762-8291 I fax: 781-255-7167 nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

.--------------------------------.

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IMPRINT STAFF

Ride board to service students across continent Just in time for spring break south of the border, US company RideCheckILC launched their North American rideshare program on March 10. . The cost-saving transportation alternative, available atRideCheck.com, offers students an online database of proposed trips across the continent, pairing them with vehicle owners (not unlike UW's own ride board). Students are able to search for rides based on various criteria, including departure date, gender and . smoking preferences. Security has also been taken into account. "Ride sharing is consistent with the communal ethos of college living, and the more students that use the site, the more effective it will be for everyone," said founder Clyde Mitchell, a business lawyer and former ride board user at ~nT in the 19708: The site is currently free to students as RideCheck hopes to build a following to maximize its effective. ness. "Whisky's for drinking. Water's for fighthlg over." The infamous Mark Twain quote seems to describe perfectly the issues regarding water conflict around the world. Between drought and politi<f' access to the resource and current water levels are a hot topic. And so enters Frank \Xl. Schwartz, professor of geological sciences at Ohio State University and this year's

UWIHDA presents journalist Bains The UW International Health Development Association presents their second of a two-part AIDS lecture series this term. Canadian journalist Anurita Bains, special assistant to Stephen Lewis, will speak followed by a screening of the documentary The Value o/'Life. , "Anurita Bairis was asked to speak because she has a vast background working with various organizations in Africa and we felt that her hands on experience working with the AIDS crisis in Africa would be of great benefit not only to our Tanzania participants but to the whole UW student body," said U\YlIHDA representative Karen Stanger. , The40-minutelecturewillbe·fol-

lowed by the documentary, which features Stephen Lewis, the UN's HIV / AIDS envoy, fighting to get the necessary anti-retroviral drugs if),to Africa. A question and answer session will follow. UWIHDA is currently running a campaign in order to launch their 2005 :tanzania project. Additional information can be found at www.uwihda.org. The lecture takes place March 23 at 4:30 p.m. in Biology 1 Room 271. Admission is free. cloureiro@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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presenter of the TD Canada Trust/ Walter Bean Visiting Professorship in the Environment lecture at UW. In his lecture, Schwartz plans to stress that freshwater resources are finite, and population gro\\'1:h puts stress on existing clean freshwater resources. Schwartz is an active researcher in field and theoretical aspects of mass'transport, contaminant hydrogeology and groundwater geochemistry. The lecture takes place at 3:30 p.m. on March 23 in the Humanities Theatre at Hagey Hall. It is free and open to all,

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My Campu~ Day

Imprint is published by Imprint Publications Student Life Centre 1116 University ofWaterioo Waterloo, ON N2L 3Gl

OK, so it isn't "just" sex ... outs for hotlines and info sessions ap.d free tests and clinics are everywhere _ and the)' are definitely necessary. The QO'wnside is that some people are just too danm tired of the sensory overload

up in a Columbia jacket, strays from her father's side as they enter the SLC. She loses her dad, a short round man, in a crowd of undergrads but manages to collect herself before screaming out, ''Dad,dad,lookatthis.'' That first step on post-sec soil is frightening yet exhilarating, as this younggirl clearly showed by her oftendropped-jaw expression. I quickly overcamemyinitial fear of the four- storey, multi-building Kitchenercampusan?wasabletomake my way inside and gravitate to a more familiar spot - :rim Hortons. Eden didn't have a Tim's but I often visited one ofthe three in Tillsonburg, a neighbouting town. IwenttohighschoolinTillsonburg '\vith about 500 other small towners. The school, a two-storey, 50room establish-

to care anymore. As suili, some people are throwing caution tothe\vind allover again, decidIt would be nice;of course, if it was ing that they've had enough of conbut sadly, thereare things attached to sex stantly worrying over something that which would put a damper on Sexual the)' may be unablG to prevent anyway. Revolution version 2.0, no matter how They're tired of constantly hearing that hard yo~ tried to ignore them. il;ritating little voice spouting off scare I am, of course, talking about tactics and death threats every time they those frightening little side effects crawl into the arms (or bed) of another _ medical horrors that school adhuman being. Their attitude has beministrations love blowing upinto comeoneofwillingapathy:"Fuckitfull-screen, full-colour horror shows - if! get something, itis fate andmeantto to scare their minions celibate be." known best by their damning Apathyisnowthegreatestproblem. moniker: STls. The gay community has slowly brought I f And you know what the really scary AIDS under some measure 0 contto 1 wh b ..\... f""~; thing is? Quite a few peop e 0 were -anditwould e u~eworsto u"5,-""es readingthis just tuned out.Justthemere ment, had only mentionofsexuallyttansmittedinfectwo bathrooms, tions cando thatnO\vadays,accordingto onecafeteriaand . researchets. ._

Imprint's editor-in-chiefin-training lnighs in on UW's Campus Dqy. A gaggle ofgirls stand giggling outside the Student Life Centre as their tour guide waves them towards the Physical Activity Complex. Eyes wide, full ofinquisitiveness, the high schoolgirls listen intently to the tall, casualiydressed U\V student. As I watched these future scholars walk around U\V Tuesday during Campus Day, I couldn't help but think ofmy first time at a post-secondary school campus. It's "where men are Itwas fouryears ago now - wow, men and sheep are it's been th~tlong scared." - when I nerva uilapidating ously stumbled up porta-pakAclass the stairs at Doon _ trip was a day . campus, Conestoga College. There I romping through tobacco fields for the stopped, dumbfounded. annlliu Harvest Fest orifwewerelucky, I know Conestoga is only a mouse a stop at farmer John's to see a litter of 4XMhc elephant hem-at lJ\V,- but now piglets (latm:tobedissectedbyGmde 12 that you've had your laugh, let me biology students). explain. Conestoga \vas big, but not un.: Picture the vast golden fields of the conquerable for this country girl. prairies and the TV show Corner Gas I don't know howmany ofthe 3,000 - that is my hometown, Eden. It's or so prospective students this week are "where men are men and sheep are from rural roots, but I know many of scared," as the saying goes about the those who were from small towns, quaint village south of Highway 3. myselfincluded, would haveleftin awe 'Round those parts y'all don't drive at the illustriousness and size ofu\v. cars, y'all drive ttactors and riding lawn I am now accustomed to city living, mowers. but having come from Conestoga to Yes, I sometimes laugh myself UW, I again feelIike my 17-year-old when I go home and see a battered old self-like that pretty redhead lost in JohnDeerep.arkedinfro~tofthelone thehubbubofcampuslife-asIleam general store. my way around. A dad raises his hand to ask a quesSo ifyou ~ee me wandering aroqnd tion ofthe U\V ambassador (a.k.a. tour the U\V campus and I look lost, I guide) before burying his face into a probably am. . crumpled campus map. His daughter (I assume), a petite redhead bundled csandham@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IMPRINT UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER

Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief, Laura Katsirdakis editor@imprint.uwaterloo·.ca Assistant Editor, Tim Alamenciak Cover EditQ,r, Kelley Dukes News Editor, Blanca Tong News Assistant, Rob Blom Opinion Editor, Jeff Anstett Opinion Assistant, Mark Johnson Features Editor, Darren Hutz Features Assistant, Tom Levesque Arts Editor, Dave George-Cosh Arts Assistant, Ian Blechschmidt Science Editor, Penny ~fichelle Rorke Science Assistant, MiC;hael L. Davenport Sports Editor, Sarah Allmendinger Sports Assistant, Dan Jl.ficak Photo Editor, Mohammed Jangda Photo Assistant, Kirill Levin Graphics Editor, Julian Apong Graphics Assistant, Hitoshi Murakami

Friday, March 18, 200S Student IJfe Centre 1116

UnivendtyofWaterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 301

Web Editor, Bhavithra Aloysious Web Assistant, Andrew Dilts Systems Administrator, J>lved Iqbal Sys. Admin. Assistant, vacant Lead Proofreader, Dean Whelton Proofreader, Ernie Lau Proofreader, Ruhan Rahman Proofreader, Kaitlin Ojamae Proofreader, Shauna Solomon Office Staff General manager, Catherine Bolger cathy.bolger@imprint..uwaterloo.ca Advertising & production manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Producti.on Assistant, Jacqueline McKoy Advertising Assistant, Lauren Fox Distribution, Chris Wost Distribution, Angella Farr Volunteer co-ordinator, Kirika Bussell

Like our exposure to explosions, violence, death and gore on television, .. f the monotonous repetttton 0 warnings about disease, condom.", AIDS . fin_It.. taking l'ts,toll and pregnancy IS au)' . Desensitizationsttikes ba<;k. . \'{'hilelth; itnportantto~outan the infimn.'uloll ••bout the \-arious biok>gicalhorrorssralkingthetmprepart.>d,it's bccomingincreasinglrclear to people in themedicalprofession thattheymight've been overdoing it a tad. Take AIDS, for example: AIDS, h global U","" w en'1t fir st appeared up on .L..:~ stage, hit the homosexual community like a nuclear blast _ fast, hard and completely unexpected. It took the gay community by surprise and sliced through our midst like a sickle _ and we're determined not to let something like this happen to us ag3:in. As such, within ourcircles,it's nearly impossible to tum about twice without seeingsomesortofm-your-facereminder to, "Shroud the moose bGfore you lei: loose." Flyets and brochures and hand-

ifwe started slipping backwards in time after coming so far. And so, what do you do? How do you get out the messagcs ofwamingout without having the very people you're tn';no- to sa:\Te roll their PVes and ionore -1~'6 -J '6" you? The key Is to captutepeople's attention, which, in the age of Janet Jackson's nipple and Spongebob's sex life, is not an easy thing. Ithas allresulted in many ingenious campaigns, including a series ofcartoons featuringtalking condoms. Itallcomes down, realiy,toyourown choice: howyouhave sex. You can do it safely and still have all sorts of fun. Ignore t4~ warnings.if you wish, but think about your own health and the health of your partner(s). Besides, it hardly requires tho~tto grab a condomwhen you're reaching for the lube. gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

"You wouldn't mind ifwe took a picture with you, wo~dyou?"

Vol. 27, No. 31 F:SI9.884.7800 P:519.888.4048 imprint.uwatedoo.ca

Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President,- Neal Moogk-Soulis Vice-president, Erin· Gilmer Treasurer, vacant Secretary, Margie Mansell Staff liaison, Durshan Ganthan staff.liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Production Staff Simon Yarrow, Derek Jl.fartin, Leslie Havens, Claire Mousseau, Rebecca Temmer, Janice Gandhi, Stace~ Hannam

Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, -a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA).

Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, website or any other product derived from the news~ paper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights <:If their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares theirintent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request.

Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that" material is deemed to be. libelous or in contravention with Imprints policies with respect to our code of ethics and journalistic standards.

Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. Imprint Publications is not responsible for advertisng mistakes beyond the cost of the advertisement. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. ImprintCDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122

Next staff meeting: Monday, March 21 12:30 p.m., SLC 1116 Next production night: Tuesday, March 22 5:30 p.m., SLC 1116 Next board meeting: Monday, March 28 4 p.m., SLC 1116 .

FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005

SHOCK ANI AWE THIS IS MY SISTER,

" " -LINDA.

AND YOU UVE WITH HIM? BUT YOU'RE NOT

SLEEPING WITH HIM.

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YES."

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nad to 'wire them

There's a modem phenomenon that aU ofyou are probably a\vareor: telephones used tojuStril1g. t\lotoftelephol1es still "just " but new phones (notably cdlphones) can have musical ring tones. Some people lament the fact that m,)stcdlphones have some.l\i:ozartll1ne as their ringer, callingit"a bastardization of classical music." In my humble opin-

bastarcii:catiofl. cdlpho!1c hav:e a practioJ purpose. It's ~'yoll!tion in anion. ''But Davenport," probably thinking to yourself, "Isn't the reason musica!ringers are so new is because the underlying technology is new?" To that, I shout "No!" The telephone and phonograph both existed at the turn of the 20th century and it is conceivable that someone 'would think of wiring them together. (In factin 1909 cxactlythatwas done, except it was in the form of a "playingmusic bp:equestovc.rtheph( me

Whenever you your funky song, you 'know it's your phone ringing. The purpose of the ringel' on any telephone is tograbyourattt~ntion. Back indickity-\vhatcver,an clecmmicbuzzer or solcnoid"clriven bell did the trick quite

one hc)Usc? That pretti'distincrivc. Fast forward to, \vell, Of all the beeps and bloops in yom you're still Ekely able to pick out yow' telephone. But\vandering amund campus? Imagine there is one cellphone ring tone. Everybody's phone souuds ex~ acdy the same. Imagine someone's phone goes off a1 5 p.m. in dow'ntowlT Toronto. 1n an instant, (!peryoJle reaches for their cdlphoncs. You ailionk like morons!

sew,)" back to rourrooms to seeifit's )'o!!r phone. 1 knmv, because I've done this several times! Because ofmusical ringers, whenever you hear your funky song, you knm\,it's .,l'ollrphoneringi11g. Settingyourring1{)ne to a song isn't vain, it's just practical. mdavenport@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

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FRIDAY. MARCH 18, 2005

he Blades of Steel champion!

Nobody can beal me. I'm 8 and O. Undefeated.Oftenimitated,neverduplicated. I \vent to overtL'Yle once, but 1 took care ofbusiness. I even beat the writer of that sports column "Two J\1inute Warning" in under two min·· utes (and he even played as his beloved Montreal Canadiens, but it looked like "Red Light" Racicotwas between the pipes for him). The point of all this is that I'm a giant nerd. A nerd, hU\vever, who is enjoying sudden surge of Nintendo gam"mong my friends. All of a sud· (kn, having an old school Nintendo in just as hip as owning an Xbox or Playstarion 2. Forget San people latdy are itching to

play Double DJ({~oll and Silper Mmio 3 (who remembers the movie The rFi'Zrm:lwith Fred Savage, where they first unveiled J to the entire world?). Firstcame the emulator craze which saw many of us \Vere downloading Nintendo games on our computers and playing them. \Vhile that satisfied the craving on a short telmleve~ there's nothing sexier than having that rec tangular controller nestled in your hands, your thumbs just instinctively finding the buttons as you fiddle with the console to get your favourite game working. After a few presses of "reset" and the "blow in the cartridge and in the console" technique, you finally get it working. Your game of choice atthe moment is Contra and from memory you recite the "30 men" code - up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, A, B, select, start. Better than chocolate. Some people call this Nimendo cta7.e Pt. n, a product of the cycle of fashion and accessories .-- just like

Nintendo, soon "Skip It," the Pogo BaH and "l\fy Buddy" (and his female counterpart "Kid Sister") will revisit our immediate primal urges. Tl(1IIJalready making a comeback, ditto Care Bean'. It's funny to me how a game where you can't even taise the puckis taking up more of my time than the current . hockey video games that are almost like \vatching a game on TV. Though it won't last forever, I'll be glad to enjoy it while it lasts -- and [mally clairn that I'm good at something (let's be honest, nobody's going to beat me at Blades of.Steet). But for now, I'll take the cheesy music, the wacky rules (if you lose the fight you get the penalty) and the hilarious goal celebrations (where the whole team surrounds the g'oal scorer who is raising his stick in glory as the opposing goalie throws a tanttum in disbelief). Now, \1,'110'5 going to challenge me? Thought so.

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extra. . special brand of arrogance La~tyear, some Texas pharmacists decided to stop fillh'1g binh-control prescriptions lurpatients, claiming they had a religious right to deny service. They m~inrained that the pill was mot-

irresponsihle to tell people whose real· ity may be prostitution (sometimes de facto sexual slavery) and illUcielif'!, to simply abstain or be faithful. To direct money away from safe sex education, condon} disll'ihntioll and nt"cdle e:::,>

from

kind~

onlytwo··-.. thosewhodrinkcoffeeand those \V11O don't. momings begin with steaming cups of joe, I mark myaftemoons with calrningcoffees andifthemood strikes J]X:, I end my days \,1th alatlc. So dearh', this is to liye and anyone who doesn't live the way I do (whether hy choice or lack ofopp01"turuty), doesn't d~~,:er\:e my attention -notuntil they\'e been converted to my lifestyle anyway. HO\vprcsumptuous did that sound to you? SometL."11es we forget just how Ci!,'YU"UL'" it is to assume everyone can choose to live as we do ... - or wam to. i recently attended a workplacelccture tbat touched on the topic of diverStlY. 1'd expected a Benetto!l ad of faces promoting racial sensitivlty, ethnic tolerance, but no. Instead, the speaker emphasized the importance of understanding those ,vho differ from us, those in our midst who choose gaSp! 110tto drink alcohol. Despite their deviance, we mustn't force them. Though this speech amused me to no end, on further thinking, perhaps the pointisn'tsclf-evident. Even those ofus who believe we're always humble, tolerant and a bowl of sunshine and daisies, (1, of course, am actually all of those things.) on certain topics, will find our noses rise to the occasion, lifting high up into the stratosphere to allowourmouths (and judgment) more latitude and more room to project (from the abdomen, dear, straight to tlle back of the room). But as arrogant as we all can be, it takes an extra.. special arrogance to disregard the reality of people's day ..to .. day lives and insist yout morals come before their health.

which dislurbs me more, thatfhese

and into programs that don't address

to impose their religious vaIue~ on patients, or that they consider the pill a tool for quasi-abortion rather than a way to avoid pregnancy and/or miti.. gate menstmal pain and irregularity. Unfortunately these pharmacists aren't alone in their ideas. So.. called "tight of conscience" l<:b~slatiol1 permitting religious imposition on civic health e?..re has already passed in Illinois, South Dakota and is currently before the Arizona house and senate. Butthough the religious pharmacy siruation riles me, American women least in cities) can find dogma .. free fill theirpl'esctiptions.--·. not the case in AIDS-ravaged places in Africa and South-East Asia, wherepeo· pIe don't have the option of "shopping around." So while it's fantastic that developed countries are making efforts to fight the AIDS epidemic, there is something repugnant and a little obnoxious about the US, the largest donor at $15 billion, attaching strings to aid that hinder rather than help in addressing the spread of AIDS. The Bush administration advocates the ABC paradigm for dealing with AIDS··- thatis, abstinence, being faith·· ful and then, as a last resort, condoms. It's not Lhat the administration has sinister intentions, but they might be mistaking poor populations in needy countries for sheltered children ofprivi. lege in Connecticut country clubs. \"1ilhile ABC is a nice idea, perhaps even a good way to instill "traditional values" into American kids (ilIthough studies suggest abstinence-only prof,'falTIS haven't deterred kids from sex but rather misinformed them), it18 at best naive and at worst do\vnright

EvcninU;:'>-anda, theoft.. touted sue· cess story by the Bush administration that ABC viorb, a new study suggests it's been the deaths of previously infectedpeoplcandnotachangeinscx<.lal behavior that's responsible it)! d1e de dine in ,\IDS prevalence. The same stuck shm.vs that of the three ABC behaviours, only condom use has increased since 1994. FurthemJ.ore, the fraction of men \vith t\\·o or more sehclal partners has increased in the last year (35 per cent), especially among HI\' -in±ectedmen (from 4Rper cent to 68 per cent). This week at the United Nations Commission on Narcotic Dmgsin Vi· enna, the US's pressure to gel influential UN Office on Dmgs and Crime to retract its support for h~tnn reduction programs like nee!..ile e.,'(changewon out despite all open letter signed by AIDS organisations, human rights f:,'1:0UpS, researchers and poli<-,!' analysts from 56 countries urging otherwise. The U.S. shouldreconsideritspo. sition. Choosing not to fund programs that can help people simply because such people lead lifestyles (chosen or forced) youdol1'tapprove of (prostitution, promiscuity, having unfaithful spouses, being a drug addict) seems an arrogant and coun·· terproductive stance to take in curbing the global epidemic of AIDS. Maybe it's time to take their noses out of the air, set aside ideology and have a look at \vhat's in front of them ---- the millions depending on practical help for dealingwith the current reality. slywong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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WPIRG worth defending To the editor, In response to Tom Levesque's condemnationofWPIRGintheMarch 11 Imprint, I would first like to make a clarifi.cationtoLevesque'svariousreferences to tuition fees. While WPIRG does appear on your fee statement,itis not at all related to the cost of your tuition. (On a side note, I encourage every studentconcemed about the rising costs of tuition fees to send a letter to, or visit, their MPP.) Levesque also makes various remarksaboutstudentsbeing"required" or "forced" to support what he claims is a "narrow-minded socialistagend.a."

Firstofall,I w~uldliketoremindthe student population that the $4.75 WPIRG fee is 100 per cent refundable. Secondly, I feel that Levesque's broad generalization ofWPIRG as a political body is extreme. Quoting from WPIRG's website, their "mission is to foster and support UW students and others to researcp, educate and takeactiononenvironmental and social justice issues." I do not believe that there exists anywhere in that statement a clear political ideology that would lead to Levesque'S conclusions. Does he feelthatcaringatallaboutthe environment or wanting to study ~e environment makes one an extreme socialist? Finally, I would like to address

levesque's statement that eliminating the WPIRG fee will "ensure that our university is ideologically heterogeneous." -One of the necessary parts to achievingWPIRG'smissionstatement is diversity. Buildingupon the notion of div:ersity and heterogeneity, I would question how the removal of a group wouldattainthatgoal.EspeciaIlyagroup . as committed to student education on key issues as WPIRG is. Furtherinformationon WPIRGcan be found at www.wpirg.org. I know that when 1t comes time to vote, that I will be voting to maintain financial support for WPIRG.

- ReheccaMurrant 4A political science

nnecessarily priced for stupidity

The Ontario legislature is busy doing what it does best: making Yet Another Unnecessary LawThI â&#x20AC;˘ The story ofthe billnow before the legislature begins in a shoppingceiltre somewhere in Ontario. (M:ost of the following is merely my guess atw~t happened. The actual events were probably far more disturbing.) Birds were chirping, people were out choosing goods and services to purchase andJ ackLayton was biking home. All was well. Then, out of nowhere,IiberalLorenzoBerardinetti burst on to the scene in full formal bureaucrat garb. People scattered and fled at the sightofthis,gatheringwhattheycould of their rights and freedoms before evacuating. Employees and business owners were forced to stay behind to face the foe as he perused one store

after another with his wife at his side. In one formalwear store, the Scarborough Southwest MPP found the shopkeeper and ownerquiveringin fear, crouched behind the cash register. As the pair got on their feet, they began pleadingwith him, ''Please, we're just trying to make a living. Please -" "Silence!" he shouted, prompting tears from the employee. Berardinetti was shocked at the prices he saw in the store. "Explain why this women's dress is priced30percenthighet~ thismen's suit wiftt the same brand name," he demanded. The owner tried to explain that the suppliers charged him more for the dress than the suit, perhaps because it was more difficult to manufacture or more in demand. He explained thatifhe were to set unreasonable prices, people would simply shop elsewhere. But the owner's words wereloston Berardinetti, who was now visibly upset. ''I'll get you for this," he shouted emotionally while stomping out of the store with his wife. Berardinetti then did what any rea-

sonable person would do: he immediately went home and drewup a private member's billto legislate against the store owner's "gender-based pricing." Luckily for Ontarians, privatemember's bills almost never become law. But Berardinetti's bill, which would affect so-called "gender-based pricing" on everything from haircuts to clothing, is a reminder that we must watch the legislature like a hawk. Charging men and women different prices for exactlY the same product or serviceisone thing. Butl;Ily mother does thingS to her hair that I cannot even pronounce much less understand. It's fair that her haircuts cost more than mine. When bars and clubs offer women free-of-chargeenttance (1.e. ''ladies don't pay cover''), they are not engaging in discrimination; they are simplyacknowledging that a club with many women will attract paying men. All of this happens through consumerchoice, and none ofit needs to be legislated. Gender-based pricing? Spare me. talevesq@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

TAlES filM TIE SEX SII'

What is Johnson smoking? To the editor, I am writing in response to 1fark Johnson's article "Solving the weed crisis." I am surprised atthewaypeople have used the death of four RGMP officers as fuel with which to argue about the pros and cons of marijuana legalization. The fact of the matter is that their deaths were not caused by marijuana lawsorlackthereoETheywerenoteven investigating a grow operation as Johnson seems to think. The truth, which has gotten lost in the frenzy of marijuana debate, is that the officers were investigating a theft. They were helping collectors get their money back for a truck that Jim Roszko wasn't paying the lease payments for. It came out after the shooting that he happened to grow weed as well and within minutes the entire tragedy got turned into a debate about legalizing marijuana. Imprillt staff should krlow facts before they write articles and not perpetuate lies.

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-AlidaMah 2B science and business

Fix our Timmy's To the editor,

I would like to commeht on the absolute frustrating state that is our 24-hour Tim Hortons establishment. I normallywouldn't comment or tell someone how to run their business, but this is getting out of hand. OK,sothereisalargestudentpopulation of, let's say, about 20,000 and if 50 per cent of those students (and this is hypothetical) get one cup ofcoffee on a daily basis, that is around 10,000 students who potentially will go to Tim's and get some coffee. So please explain to me how after - Adrienne Kerson seven months of the new Tim's being 2B history open westillhaveto sitinline for almost Loved the shoe column! , 30 minutes1lta time? Did management not see that there is a0Vt9salargenumber To the editor, of people there? As a student, I have served coffee to patrons as a part-time job, I understand the labour involved I jusÂŁ'\tanted to comment about the and I do think that this is a great story in the 1farch 5 Imprinttided, "As establishment bud can't seem to figure hard asitis to admit, pretty shoes make out the logicinwaitinghalfan hour for me immensely happy" by Editor-incoffee. ChiefLaura Katsirdakis. I knowitwas From what! see there are three tills just a statement toward the barrierbreaking show Sex and the City but and duringpeakhours there is only one many people obsessed with shoes (inopen (sometimes two). Now I'm not a busipess student nor do I want to tell cludingmyself) know and have known about the amazing artworks ofl'.fanolo Tim Hortons how to run its establishBlahnik. ment, but wouldn't logic say to open Secondlyitis spelledManoloBlahnik, the other friggin' till? I don't know how many times I na>tManola. Sorry, my shoe fanaticism have beeninlineand just said, "Fuckit" has gotten the better of me. and left sans coffee. Tim's, you guys need to get it together and serve the - Melissa Upjohn . 2B biology customer a little more efficiendy or just for the sanity of students, open the Who collects their refunds? other till.

To the editor,

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studying, having fun, etc. My time is valuable and the university does not seem to understand this. We, as student~, must empower ourselves. If we do not push the university, it will not help us. We must fight for what we want in this world. Just one of many things I have leamed at university.

In ''UncommonSense,''TomLevesque brings up the issue of refundable fees \vith respect to WPIRG. This got me thinking. I waste a large amount ofmoney on refundable fees each year. EvenifI do manage to collect all ofmy refunds next term, I willhavelosttwo things: money and time. The money that I've lost is the interest I could have been earning on the money that I have now collected. I pay$74.55 in refundable fees per term. So, sayinterestis threepercentperyear and I get my refunds after about a month. That's 19 cents down the drain. That may seem very small, but just think ofhowmuch that amounts to for the university! Essentiallyweare giving them an interest-free loan. But what I am most upset about is the time that is wasted on hunting do~n and coll~cting my refunds that couldbebettCrspentbuyingt~xtbooks, .

- Jessica Cassano 4B sociology

Bad planning by The Crew To the editor, \Vhile I appreciate what The Crew is trying to do for UW and our apathetic student body, introducing new and dynamic events \\>ith an enthusiasm that has been unmatched by anything I've ever seen on campus, theorganization at the Russell Peters" show on Wednesday night was ridiculous. \\I'e stood outside in line for over an hourin -20 degrees celsius weather. By the time we got inside, the show was already behind schedule, and I was frozen solid. Inexplicably, there was only one bouncer taking IDs at the door, which caused the line to move at an unbelievably stagnant pace. Basically, it was run as ifitwere the middle of the summer and there was nothing bizarre about standing outside

FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005

for an hour. By the time I got home almost 5 hours latet, I was still frozen, wintet jacket, mitts, toque and all. The Crew is a very positive and en- . couragingstep toward amore engaging studentlife here atUWbutthey need to ~alimemoreontheo~

details and a

lime less on the hype.

- Kim Monison 3B sodoro!)

times a dayand all I see is people scrubbingthewallslike ctaz}'. NotthatI think the fire was something to be undermined. Ofcourse specialcareneeds to be taken-itwasa tragiceventandwewere all upset about it. Butthetewas just smok.e in the halls tight? Or maybe I need to be educated ahoutthe effects ofsmokeonwallslAny ch~es out thetewillingto explain? - Salman YOIl1llJS

Why the sexism? To the editor, How itonic that the Imptintissue publishedduring Women's Week opens to a page containing sexist comments. I find it extremely offensive that, such commentsare.includedinlmprint,espedaIlystingingisthatthecommentscome fromthestudentbody. Women should not be ridiculed anytime, let alone the week set aside to reflect on fetninist successes and address ongoing issues. A sad example of oversight, more thanlikely,butamistake that should not be repeated.

-AmberRoga lBERS

Sayanora, Levesque!

l(~tl.}<tOOl~esqu¢'sideaofan

"ideologicallyhererogeneous"environment is anything that supports his narrow-minded concept of cOflservatism. \Vby does II/print tolerate his libelous wri.tingswhichresembletamblings from aconfused teenager? The comment aboutwomyn being "a new type of flying monstet in Dungeons & Dragons" is uncalled for. The WPIRGrefetendumcallsforarestruc. turing of the "funding levy and not a tennination ofWPIRG. Please stop misleading readers into thinkingthatbeinga conservative must oppose all socialist actr..;.ties or the Imprimis just as likely to be brought down in a refetendum due to Levesque. The lastthingthis campus needs is Levesque spreadingrutnours aboutothetpolitical parties and theit suppottets. Ttytoinstillabitofobjectivityinyour next column. Please don't write offletters to the editor as just anothet thing that makes you, pethaps a "real conservative,"physicallysick. Takethis as an indication that your columnis notgoing tolastttyoucontinueyourlackofrespect for professional joumalism, which I suspect is what will happen. Sayanora apd so long, Levesque.

Tijfa'!J Tsun

3A Pk:fllliflg

Fire wasn't that big a deal! To the editor, Is it just me or is the university overdoingthewhole fite thingy?I mean, it's one thingtobewotkingon the sitewhere the fitetook place and itis a totallydttfetent thing scrubbing the friggin walls in the hallways for three days continuous! I pass the EngSoc office hall many

1B mechanical engineerill!,

Students for Life ilnmature To the editor, I was truly shocked, disgusted and angered bytheactionsofStudents forLife this past Friday. Theit t-shitts, which

displayedamassivepictureofanaborted fetus and the sarcastic comment "Choice," seVetely crossed the line of whatis acceptable. I respect theit opposite view on this issue but theitactions showed nothing but'disrespect for the entire student body. I can only assume thattheywould be outraged ifI were to parade around the SLC wearinga t -shirt with a picture of' a brutally raped woman and the comment"Deserves to father the child ofhetrapist," ora pictureofadead child • with sevete birth defects arid the comment ''Deserved to live for 15 minutes." I cannot for the life of me figure out why Students for Life would considet theit actions any more appropriate or respectfuL It was nothing more than an itnmature shock tactic that brought

nothingconsttuctive toth~is$ueandan .apologyto the studentbodyisdeserved.

At all otherTttnHottons, a chicken salad sandwich combo costs $4.27. However, at the SLC Tttn Hortons, it - Charles Af71Iollr jumps up to $4.89. Why?BecauseFood 1B civil engineering Services charges tax on the cost of the meal before the discount. Food Services screws us! Howevet,in doing so, theyaregoing ag.rinsttheadvettisedpriceforthemeal. To the editor, So,inessence,FoodSetvicesiseamingan e:xtra60 cents pet$3.99 meal they serve With the lack of student-priced dinsipce they technically do not have to submit that amoUllt in PST. ing options on campus, I often find myself going to the Tim Hortons in Therefore, Iwondet: how much the SLC. More often than not,I·go for moneyhasFoodSetvicesscammedout ofus?IflOOstudentsordetthatmealm the chicken salad sandwich combo, which sells for $3.99. Being someone . a day, that's $60. After a year, that's who has eaten many McDeals in the almOst $22,000. If that's not a scam, I past, which also go for $3.99, I've don't know what is. learned thatitis by law that PST is not charged for meals under $4. Therefore, a McDeal costs $4.27 after GST.

features@imprint.u••.aterloo.ca

•

able

lSP

•

Cost-effective, convenient protection: no strings attached Kirika Bussell - _ •• _ _ ••• - , , - - _ . - ••

IMPRINT STAFF

Ladies arId gentlemen, have you ever wondered why women arc reputed to be irritable at a certain time of the month? Perhaps it has less to do with hormones and more to do \\1.th the exorbitant cost and inconvenience of traditional f(;mininc hygiene products. Consider that women menstruate even' :Y; 1:028 days on average (this cycle continues for approximately 38 years, begins menstruai10n at a mean age of12 and ente.ts the menopausal phase at age 50). A montJuy visit from "Flo" can mean ha,1.ng clothing choices limited. Light coloured pants are dsky, and bring on the ratty, tatty B··team lUldies, unless you want to buy stock in Spray'n'Wash. \'Vomen also face the indignity of being taxed for hygienic products thatwe have no choice but to use --_. or so we have been led to believe. N ow for the good news: there an~ some rdatively flnv products on friendly. Arc these reusable menstruation alternatives too good to be true? There are two brands of cups avail·· able, marketed under the names The

art 11

Keeper and The DiYa Cup (Dependable Intemal \'aginaL\lternative). Both are sold on the Internet and through some natural [(Jod stores. There is a learningclli"'"Ve to comfortably use them, but then remember the challenge you faced when first confronted \vith a junior-sized satin applicator tampon. The cups are made from non-porous substances - rubber for The Keeper

There are two brands of cups available, marketed under the names The Keeper and The Diva CUp ... andmedica1-grade silicone for The DiVa Cup. Some women find using a cup instead of a tampon advantageous because the latter can be too absorb(;nt, uncomfort.llble to remove or rlO-sdtin also be remedied by using a pad. The cup looks like a funnel \\1.th a stem attbe end, and is used in a similar manner to a tampon. The freshly

v..ashed cup is folded over t\V1Ce to make it thinner, then inserted while still wet. Like tampons, these cups can be used about six to eight hours at a time. A. fter use, the cup is removed the same way a tampon is, the ,vaste is emptied and the cup is washed, ready for its next use. A reusable menstruation cup is a long-term investment. The cups, which have a reputed life span of 10 years, vary in price by brand and purchase location - they sell online for about $33 US. be fore taxeS. One economical advantage to reusable forms of feminine ttygi~ne (a cup and/or doth pad) is less waste and fewer replacements. The cups are available in two sizes, pre and pos t childbirth. On the other hand, one box of pads or tampons costs an average of$5 per box. Assuming a purchase is made every two months, the yearly expense is $30 before taxes. If the idea of getting up close and personal with yourself is a bit daunting, you can make your own custom, washable panty liners and pads. Pat, terns :trc aVR.ihble for women who wish to sew their own, and there are also ready-made ones available, though they afe not widely distributed. Aside from the noteable bendit of

DARREN HUTZ

Thinking outside the box: alternatives to pads and tampons creating less waste and saving hardearned money, these pads are also created with materials you choose, so you can use unbleached cotton instead ofbleached, if that is a concern for you. You can also control the costofmaking these more than other products, because you select the materials used and can make fewer and wash them more frequently. V clem can be substituted for the adhesive tabs found on store--bought pads. In thepast,feminine hygiene products have been subjected to scrutiny, particularly after a \.videly publicized

health cdsisinvolvingtoxic shock syndrome (TSS) thatled to standardized absorbency ratings for tampons. Public education has decreased the numberofdocumentedTSS cases dramatically (it is mandatory for all tampon pachges sold in Canada to in·· dude Ii terature about the potential risk ofTSS associated \'lith tampon use). However, other concerns have been raised over the use of tampons and possible carcinogens left behind from the bleachingptocess. see HYGIENE page 13

"eye" sp with my little eye, mortal an er you be clever enough to find us? Your first clue is:

I.rp)', Dangii!{f]" spinning, floatillg bigb, Together eternal. tbq caNNot Beneath thclll, !ludiess tunnels Iii!, , And there JIM'!!Jind the !mb/illkillg Shannon was horribly frightened. The

e]p.

P AS building had ahvays been scary

Every hour, on d,.e hour, starting now, I will kill one of them, so I suggest you hurry." The killer's laugh echoed through the cement hall. l\fike looked over at Shannon and was surprised to see her looking relieved. "Shannon, what gives?" She looked over at him and started laughing, "You big idiot. You had me terrified! I thought you were the killer or something. What was with you back there? I thought you' dgone crazy." Mike looked shocked, "1 was terrified, not insane! I got a call telling me that when 1 picked you up, I was to bring you here, and ifl didn't, that the caller would kill you. I fi!:,>ured that if 1 brought you here, we might at !east have a chance." "You could have left me \vith the police. 1 would have been safe there." Mike shook his head, '<lie said you wouldn't be safe there either. After all that he's done, I couldn't dsk it. Anyway, we'd better get moving or four more people are going to die." Shannon nodded, "I think I know

to her and this situation did not help. She and Mike were standing in the entrance by the parking lot, which was essentially a loading dock. The door slammed behind them, and both she and Mike jumped. She heard a voice, "Oh excellent," the voice cooed, "You're here! Right on time too. I'm quite impressed." Shannon looked at Mike, "\'Vhat the hell?" she began. "Shhh!" Mike insist}::d. "\'\;'ell, since you're here, I guess I should explain things. We're going toplar a little game. I'm somewhere in this building right now and I have four very scared young people. From this point, you are responsible for their liyes. If you leave this building, I'll kill them. If you call anyone, I'll kill thei'n. I f you do something~ I don't think is fair, I'll kill them. Throughout the building, I've hidden four clues, each ,,:1.ll bring you closer to the room where we're hid· den. You've certainly been intelli· gent enough to get this far, but will

where he was talking about. Do you kn6,v the two statues in the middle of the building~They're hangingftom the ceiling, and under tllem is a crazy, confusing staircase thatleads into the tunnels under the building." Mike nodded and the two of them set out at a slow jog, attempting to

"I'm somewhere in this building right now and I have four very scared young people. From this point, you are responsible for their lives. If you leave this building, I'll kill them. '1

was a piece of paper. On it was written:

f [spy, Hiddell bitt flot locki'd, I t"tltlllOt l¥'ithill it, a d!!eyot! tlh~Ji Solid ax st~"J, cold aNd dfJ~ Come tmdfind tbe darkened eye. "The lockersl" ~fike exclaimed. "There ate some that way, and some this way. We should split up." While they still had 45 minutes remaining before the first person would die, they didn't feel they could risk it. Shannon nodded and ran one way ,,,hile he went the other. Shannon reached her setofiockers and quickly scanned the numbers. She saw number eight and sure enough it was unlocked. Steeling herself against,vhat she knew she would find, she opened the locker door. She reached under the eye and pulled out the paper underneath. It read: I sl!.Y,

011 navigate the underbelly of the psychology building. '111ey eventually reached the hanging statues. Beneath them, sitting on the octagonal platform was a small, spherical object. Mik.e approached it tentatively and leaned in dose enough to see it was an eye. U nderthe eye, there

''I've got it," cried Shannon, "But 1 don't know what it n~leans!" Mike ran over to her as quickly as he could and read the due. "Neither do 1," he admitted sadiy. stood there together for a moment thinking, when Shannon said, "Could he be ralking about the

children's area out front?" "Maybe, but what's this about secret stairsl I don't understand." Shannon started suddenly, scaring Mike. "rYe go tit! There's a set of stairs by the doors you come in by if you're coming from Hagey Hall, by the elevatorsl They go up somewhere, but I've never taken dlem before." Mike nodded briskly, "It's better than nothing. Let's go!" They hurried to the doors in question and stopped in their tracks. "l\:Iike, we can't go out there. Ihve do, we'll break the killer's rules." "I know Shannon, but if you're l1.ght, the next due is out there, then we have to go outside! Look, I'll go outside, and you stay here. It's. the best we can do. I'll hurty; maybe he won't notice we ,vent. outside." j\Iike ran out the doors and up the stairs. At the top, there was a large patio which overlooked the children's playground below. He saw the note and eye, t,rrabbcd the note from underneath and ran hack dO\\'n the stairs to where Shannon waited. In 15 minutes another innocent person \yould die. They had to hurry. mross@imprint.uwaterio.ca

Inftnsted iii

Alm-k

.fto··

rieJ? Cbn:k otd flit Serial Fiction archilH

FRIDAY. MARCH 18, 2005

Biscotti baking fun

Jeff Anstett IMPRINT STAFF

Everwish you could eat coffee instead of just drinking it? If you're the Java Guru you think you are, you've probably tried biscotti before. {} sually you'll see it as thoselongcookie-like things in aglass jar beside the cash register at your favourite coffee joint. Please note: although drinking Tim Hortons coffee frequendy results in orgasm, it still cannot be considcrcd a coffee joint, but rather a joint that happens to sell coffee. So, tired of paying exorbitant amounts for those dry litde critters? Now you can make your own. Biscotti comes in all sorts of flavours and styles. I prefer almond so that is what you will make for me. Bake for me, my litde cooking minions! For those ofyou who aren't aware of what biscottiis,it's achy Italian cookie for dipping in coffee. It is not supposed to be very sweet and should be dry. Don't let the uncultured swine convince you that your biscotti is too dry. You'll need: 4 large eggs 1 tsp baking powder 1/8 tbsp salt 3 cups flour

1 shot amaretto or 1 tsp of amaretto flavour 2 cups of sugar 1 /2 cup of melted butter 1 cup of sliced almonds Fitst, whisk together the eggs, the melted butter and the amaretto. Some almond biscottirecipes call for things like anise extract or even black currantliquor, but since amaretto is almond liquor, I find it works best to give a sttong almond flavour. Add in the flour, sugar, salt and baking powder. i\Iix all of the ingredients together \vith your hands until dough forms. Once all ofthe flour and other dryingredients have been absorbed by the eggs, add slivered almonds to mixture. Roll the mixture into three logs about 12 inches long, roughly two to three inches thick. Flatten the logs downv,1dth\\1Se so that they are now between three and four inches wide. Bake on a lighdy greased baking ttay for 20 minutes at 325掳F .After20minutes, remove biscotti from the oven and slice into 1 inch thick slices. Place the slices back on the tray and bake 10 minutes on each side. If you like, you can drizzle melted chocolate over the biscotti. I prefer not to, since thechocolatewillinevitablyend up mixing into your coffee or tea later. Store the biscotti in something dry like aMartini. A tin orjaralsoworks. The great thing about biscotti is, since it's a m1ce-baked cookie, it won't go stale (at least not in a month). So grab alatte and biscotti and dunk away.

Hygiene: big bloody deal Buy your airfare and insurance*

Continued from page 12 Health Canada's official response to these concerns is, "The manufacturing processes used in the production of tampons sold in Canada are dioxinfree. Dioxins are a known environmental pollutant, so it's possible that tiny amounts may be found in tampons as a result of environmental pollution. However, these trace amounts do not pose a health risk to tampon users." If these trace amounts are a concern for you, it is possible to purchase all cotton, unbleached tampons in some natural food stores, although the cost per box is more expensive. Women's feminine hygiene products have come a long way from the days before adhesive pads and standardized regulations for tampons. Today there are safer choices that fit every budget and comfort level and even your social consciousness. If thewomen's movement was founded upon choice, we are now closer to reaching our goals, one reusable cup at a time.

to Europe .. we'n give the

prite and get All this stuff for

FREEl

kbussell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Afore iriforlJlation about The Keeper, The Diva Cup and how to makeYOllr own reJlsablepads can befollnd at these Jvebsites: www.divacup.com \v\vw.keeper.com gladrags.com/ resources.php

rN~"v \!:OCATION)

I'm not sure there's anything quite as sweet as sex, but if anything would come close, it's dessert. Combining these two varieties of fun would probably make for some awesome afterdinner sweets. Stock up on some pudding, chocolate sauce, whipped cream and candy, cuz dessert can make for some really hot sex. Here are some enjoyable recipes we thought up to help make you a sexy dessert.

Banana Split (for girls) You'll need a banana, whipped cream, cherries and chocolate/ strawberry/butterscotch sauce. First (as with all of our special desserts), you should shower, shave and

Chocolate Creme Surprise (for boys) You'll need chocolate pudding, whipped cream, chocolate/strawberry /butterscotch syrup and your choice of small candy. Again, make sure you're showered and clean (especially in the genital

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Make your partner a banana split area) before becoming a dessert. Place a dollop of chocolate pudding on your nipples and top with a candy. Run a thin line of pudding from your chest to your bellybutton and place candies along the line. Spray whipped cream along your pelvic bone on each side. Drizzle your choice of syrup over genitals and top your penis off with a candy. The same rule applies for this sexy dessert-NO HANDS! For any sexy dessert, try putting ingredients on sensitive spots on your body and remember to have fun \\1th this. Don't hold back; fInd new and creative ways of eating off of your parmer. After every sweet is devoured, get into the shower and wash each other off. To continue your fun in the shower, read next week' s article, which will be focused on shower sex. Bon appetit!

-----~ LMql~AMATEUR STRIP NIGHT

janstett@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

make sure you're clean enough to eat off of. Spray whipped cream on both your boobs and top each one with a cherry. Drip chocolate sauce into your bellybutton (feel free to use chocolate sauce on breasts as well). Unpeel the banana and squeeze it gently bem-een your legs near your vagina. Once you're a complete dessert, you can be eaten by whoever is lucky enough to get the privilege. There is one rule though - no hands can be used when eating a sexy dessert! This is essential. Feel free to use ice cream or any of our other ingredients on more of the body, but do not put any of them around or inside the vagina.

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FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005

Renegade Ukrainians and computer science terrorists Keifer Sutherland takes Adam along on his 24-hour anti-terrorist adventure

This columnis dedicated to my good friend Saad Tanvir, who told me, "If my name appears anywhere in that column, you're a dead man." The following column takes place inreal time. Keifer Sutherland: Hey Adam how's it hanging? Lmg and low, Sud!). umg and low. So howyou

doing? Not too shabby! So, what did you want to interview me about again? Celebrity pet groomingtrends?

Yeah exactty. What's up with those? Hold on a second ... I'm receiving some intelligence ... this is bad, Adam. It looks like we're facing an imminent terrorist threat of the highestlevel.

Terrorist threat? Btlt this is real lift! You don't actualty work for the US Cotlnter-Terrorist Unit, like you do on 24. You're an actor! Yes, I know. This intelis from my friend Gary, and it's the highestlevel. We can't afford to ignore this treat - it has the potential to kill millions!

But we're in Waterloo! There aren't mIllions! It also has the potential to kill farm animals, Adam. Of which there are millions! It's more horrible than I imagined! So what is the fIfJIlIre tif this threat?

It seems that a radical terrorist organization known as the "Computer S,cience Club" has purchased a bomb from some renegade Ukrainian scientists on the black market. This is no ordinary bomb: it's a nuclear dirty bomb that also releases a virus, kills the president, erases every MP3 file on every hard drivein the blast radius and releases angry albino buffalos that stampede and trample on things. It's a worst-case scenario.

A{y God! We've got to stop this threat! What can we do? Why, start interrogating terrorists, of course. [They hop into a Ford Expedition. Adam's brow furrows as he ponders a thought: Could there be a correlation between the fact that Keifer Sutherland prefers to use only Ford trucks for the purposes of fIghting terrorism and the fact that his voice appears on commercials for Ford trucks? He dismisses his misgivings with the conclusion that Ford trucks are obviously superior terroristfighting vehicles, commercial endorsements aside.]

OK, we've found tbe terrorist,路 he's of an undetermined ethnic minority that Rupert Murdoch is suspicious rif! Talk, damnyou, where is the bomb? Terrorist of Undetermined Ethnic Minority: I tell you nothing, pig!

Um, it's "I will tellyou nothing. " Sutherland: We'll see about that! I bet you don't like torture! Terrorist: I have the right to an attorney! Sutherland: You mean a TORTURE attorney! Terrorist: Oh no! I hate torture! [Torture ensues.]

Ob man this whole torture thing isprel{ygrim. I bet a scene like this couldn't be shown on American TV; stich as the Fox network. Sutherland: You'd be surprised what Fox can show as long as it doesn't include the F-word or boobies. Now where was I? Oh yeah! Finger breaking!

"It's a nuclear dirty bomb that also releases a virus, kills the president, erases every MP3 file on every hard drive in the blast radius and releases angry albino buffalos..."

Terrorist: Y eeeeeaugh! Alright! I'll talk! Just stop breaking my fingers! I need those to program! The bomb is in the Davis Centre.

Quick! To our stur4J, reliable FordExpeditiona terrorist fighting machine if there ever Ivas one, Sutherland: OK, but flrst, a gratuitous gunfIght with commandos! [Gunfight ensues, as well as dramatic knife-throwing antics.]

That lJ'as a close cal!, Keifer. Good tbing we managed to kill ali460/those commandos thanks to OIIT superior traininl} satellite recon, and gril{y good looks. Sutherland: There's no time to dwell on that now; We've got to find the bomb! [They rush into the Davis Centre with guns drawn] Sutherland: Oh no! The terrorists have released gas in the library! We need HAZ1'vIAT suits!

Actflalty, it all1lqys smells like that. Sutherland: OK. We still need HAZrvIAT suits.

[The suits arrive.]

Look, here's the bomb, under this atbicle! Can we disarm it, Nameless Bomb Squad G1[Y? Nameless Bomb Squad Guy: The timer has been disabled! There's no way we can stop it Person ofthe Same UndeterminedEthnicity as the Terrorists: I couldn't help but overhear your conversation as I was walkingby. I feelitismy duty to demonstrate thatnotallmembers ofmy ethnicity are terrorists, and that most of us are patriotic peoplewithniceteethwhodon'tscowlallthetime. (That ought to get the Fox network out of hot water.) Also, I happen tohavea twin-engineCessna parkedoutsideonRingRoad. Whydon'tweflythe bomb to the middle of the desert, where it can explode safelywithoutharminganybody, exceptof course through indirect ecological effects, which we'll ignore forthe sake of the narrative?

S otlnds good to me! But we can't use the autopilot. It's too risky. I'llfly the plane and sacrifice 1f!J lift. Sutherland: I can't let you do that, Adam. You might see a shiny object and get distracted. I'm coming with you. [The two men pilot the plane over a conveniently nearby desert.] Sutherland: Well I guess this is it, Adam. We're going to sacriflce our fives to save our country.

Wait,you meanMY cOJmf1]'!楼ou're anAmcrican! Sutherland: Oh yeah! [He parachutes out of the plane.]

That's it, Keifer. SaveYOIlTSelf! You OIVC it to the TV vic1vers of the lvorld to continue to exist as an imsistible mix tifdanger and htmkiness. [He puts the plane info a tailspin. As Sutherland watchesfrom a sqfe distance, a massive InlisbroolJl cloud, filled with disccrtlible virusparticles and angry albino bl(/falo that wolild hove totalty killed the president fills the horiZOn.] Sutherland: The man was a hero; he gave his life for his country and foiled the fiendish plot of the Computer Science Club. Still, I wonder: is this the last we've seen of Adam? Stay tuned for scenes from the next "Dinner \vith Adam." ajohns@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY Student Life 101 Coordinators The Student Life 101 Committee is looking for enthusiastic, dedicated applicants for Student Life 101 Coordinator positions. Enhance your organizational, event management and leadership skills in an exciting team environment. Apply to become a member of our team today!

We are currently looking to fill two Coordinator positions: 1) Student Life 101 Coordinator: Responsible for assisting in the planning of the event, recruitment and management of volunteers, and designing advertising materials. Strong interpersonal and leadership skills are an asset. 2) Student Life 101 Coordinator- Web Page Developer: Responsible fo maintaining and updating the Student Life 101 website, as well as assisting in the planning of the event with other Student Life 101 Coordinators. Knowledge of web development and php/database usage including html, dreamweaver, php, and mysql are assets. . Students who will be in Waterloo during the spring tenn are preferred. Candidates must be available for the event on Saturday, July 23, 2005. Successful candidates must be full time registered undergraduate and graduate students (including co-op) in good academic standing. Interested applicants are asked to submit a cover letter and resume to the Student Life Office by: Friday, April 8th, 2005 For further information please contact: Katherine Ropp, Student Life Assistant 519-888-4567 Ext. 6993 e-mail: studentlife@uwaterloo.ca

For the last time, you don't have magic powers. No matter how mad you are that I cut you off you can't turn me into a newt. I

f *puff puff* Just wait. Vengeance *wheeze* imminent.

FRIDAY. MARCH 18, 2005

Bankrupt aboriginal policy reflects poorly on government

There were two seemingly unrelated segments on CBCs Radio One Tuesday moming. The first dealt with Canada's creeping demographic abyss, the so-called baby bust. Essentially, our society is not producing enough offspring to replace existing adults. This trend has all kinds ofnegative consequences, ranging fromaloomingeconomic crunch due to labour . shortages to the long-term disappearance of .canada as we currently know it. The second was the personal coming-home story of Connie Walker, who, after living for years in Toronto, returns to visit her family home on an Indian reservation outside of Regina. She lamented the future prospects of her five younger siblings, given that in her words "There's no economy on the reserve." In a perfect world, a progressive Canadian govemmentwould use its legislative and spending powers to match our looming labour shortage with a large group of people who have been historically disadvantaged and confront rampant unemployment. Unfortunately, our government does nothing of the sort. In fact, the only thing more bankrupt than J etsGo is Canada's aboriginal policy. In total, the various levels ofgovemment in Canada spend $10 billion annually on aboriginals. For this princely sum, we have successfully created third-world living conditions within

our otherwise prosperous nation. Native Canadians are significantly poorer and have shorter life expectancies and much higher rates of substance abuse, unemployment and incarceration than the Canadian averages. Seven hundred thousand Canadians are covered under the auspices of the Indian Act. an outdated and essentially racist piece oflegislation that reduces these people to little more than wards of the state. Most live on 2,300 reserves scattered across thevastness ofCanada, with each reservation having an average ofSOO residents. As Walker astutely pointed out, economic prospects on the bulk of these remote reserves are limited, to say the least. All things being equal, enterprising residents of these reserves would follow the movement of other rural Canadians and seek prosperityin Canada's cities. Unfortunately, federal spending is reservation-centric and creates all sorts of artificial incentives for staying on the reserve, where opportunities are as scarce as the wild buffalo of the Great Plains. Davis Inlet in Labrador illustrates this dilemma. This Innu community is unfortunately the infamous home of the gas- and glue-sniffing children given wide media exposure a decade ago. At the time, Davis Inlet was a rundown, ramshackle community that exuded despondency. Thus, with good intentions to be sure, Indian Affairs spent$lS2 million to construct an entirely newtown (N atuashish) for the 700 community members. Two years after the move a CBC report chronicled how the lnnu were faring in their new digs. "Alcoholism and gas sniffmg continue to be a problem for people living in Natuashish ... The community of itbout 700

has seen four suicides in the past few months and drug and alcohol abuse is rampant, say local officials." N atuashish presented its residents with just as many potential economic avenues as Davis Inlet, namely zero. With no future and no prospects, who can be surprised that serious social problems remain in what has been upgraded at great expense to a pretty nowhere. What has happened on Indian reservations is no different from the dependency cycle that foreign aid spending has unwittingly created. One of the worst things a govemment can do to its people is remove their responsibility for their own well-being. Canada's aboriginal policy has to be completely reinvented to focus on people-based prosperity instead of its obsolete obsession with forcing remote reserves to be prosperous.

The Department ofIndian Affairs and the entire reserve system needs to be dismantled and emphasis put on providingyoungaboriginals with the skills to take advantage of emerging economic opportunities that are overwhelmingly in Canada's cities. Some will object that this approach would permanently end the native way of life. However, a cursory walk down Toronto's streets reveals that a change in location does not remove one'sculture.I t is not too late to provide Canada's aboriginals with a real future and to solve a demographic problem which if left unchecked will become a national emergency. It isa national tragedy that a first-world country allows this sort of injustice and poverty to exist in its own backyard. cedey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Slow down and fast Andrew Dilts IMPRINT STAFF

As winter shows the first signs of turning to spring, many mark the turning of the season with their own personal rituals. Sometimes, it can be as simple as recognizing your own symbolic activities - the first day without a coat, the first day warm enough to wear shorts - while for others, deeper, more personal events mark the passing of winter. One tradition undertaken by many involves a deeper, personal cleansingcharacterized by eating sparsely or abstaining from food altogether - a process known as fasting. Fasting is undertaken by people of many different walks of life in many different societies for many different reasons. The ninth month of the Islamic calendar, known as Ramadan, is a spiritual month for Muslims in which it is common practice not to eat between sunrise and sunset. Those involved in eastern traditions such as Buddhism and Hinduism often undertake fasts as spiritual rituals, to cleanse and purify the body while allowing time to focus on one's own personal divinity. Many native peoples still make use of the vision quest, a spiritual and physical journey that marks times of transition in a person's life which often involves fasting as an important component. Though the practice has lessened somewhat in today's western society, the Christian tradition of Lent - the 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday - was once a time of intense fasting and prayer. Shadows of this tradition survive in today's practice of "giving up" something for

Lent: TV, video games and junk food are popular reminders of the past traditions of abstinence. In addition to the spiritual traditions listed here, there are also many who fast for nonreligious reasons, such as fasting to cleanse the body, fasring as a method of healing and fasting as a political statement (for example, World Vision's 30 Hour Famine). Just as there are many different reasons to fast, so too are there many different types of fast that a person can undertake. Juice or fruit fasts are common, restricting nutrient intake to only those specific food sources. One popular fast, known as the "master cleanser," a, specific regimen created and popularized by author Stanley Burroughs, sees its practitioners drinking nothing but a special lemon-and-maple-syrup drink for 10 days. Some fasts, notably those undertaken for spiritual reasons, go to the extremes of"nothing but water shall pass your lips." At the time of writing, I am in the midst of a lengthy fasting process. It has been rather surprising to find, through conversation about my own current activity, the number of other students here at the University of Waterloo also undergoing major fasring processes this season. Still more interesting was to learn of the widespread popularity of World Vision's 30 Hour Famine here on campus, noting the dozens of people who took time out of their lives to recognize the desperate situations of others in our wo,ld, through fasring. Whatever the reasons for undertaking a fast, the process can be extremely beneficial to body, mind, spirit and society. adilts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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-111111 18-20

The devil is in the details in Marat/Sade Ian Blechschmidt

oppressed," but at the same time it is impossible to ignore theregularitywith which they become an irrational mob that demands revolution \vithout Some days, the world is all sunny and nice. Some really knowing what it means. days, the world feels like a mental institution. As The mood is maintained as the audience meets elections overturn because of "tampering," govthe cast of the :Marquis' little spectacle, a mix of ernments imprison and torture their own citipeople in various stages of sanity, including an zens and countries invade each other in the name alcoholic, a manic-depressive and a girl who just of "peace," it's hard not to feel that the whole won't stop compulsively tearing at the skin onber system is coming severely unbalanced and you arms. The care that went into each of these charright along with it. As director Gerd Hauck said acters is evident, as each respective actor doggedly in his pre-curtain address, a backdrop like that maintains a consistent illusion for the entire two gives UW Drama's mounting of Peter Weiss' hours of the play. Itis no mean task to be an actor playingan actorplaying a role, let alone a mentally M.df4l/ S.uleparticular resonance. full name ofthe play is The Persecution and disturbed one, but each of them pulls it off. . . IIdjJean-Paul Marat as Performed I?Y the Particularly engaging is Bryan Quinlan, who I~ djthe A!Jlnm of Charenton under the Direcplays Dupettet. An erotomaniac, Dupettet tirm djMiJnsieNr de Sade, and that essentially sumspends most of the play trying to get his hands mat:i2es the plot. The play is set in a mental on Charlotte, a narcoleptic, who sleepily fends off hospital in post-revolutionary France, which his ham-handing (when she's not unconscious). houses among others, the notorious writer and Though it takes place mostlyin the background, philosopher, the Marquis de Sade (Steve Ryder). theint~tion between these two provides some De Sade directs a cast of his fellow inmates in a . of the best moments of the play. Quinlan is re-enactment of the murder of the revolutionary disturbingly convincing as a predatory lecher, Jean-Paul Marat (Brad Cook), at the hands of a staring luridly at Cparlotte while she sleeps and royalist sympathizer named Charlotte Corday trying surreptitiously to grab a handful while she's awake. Oennifer Scullion). The play is punctuated by several musical numbers (think Brecht, not Visually,MandISadeisintticate and artistic, and, more importantly, weaves the costumes and set Gershwin), accompanied by a small, but wellrehearsed ensemble. into the themeS to establish a mood that compleTheplayislikeananti-Le.rM.iserabks:itisabout ments the other elements ofthe play. The beauticlass struggle and revolution, butrefuses to allow fully detailed stOne co~"1ird set, enclosed in wire <'bars," eteates atoncea fedmgofvoyeutism (very theaUdi.ence to really take a side. The characters are at the same time sympathetic and alienating appropriate, given that de Sade was infamous for one feels sorry for the inmates in the way that one his practice of and writings on various unconvenusually feels sorry for a group representing "the rionalsexualpractices}andofalienation. IMPRINT STAFF

MOHAMMAD JANGDA

The Marquis de Sade (Steve Ryder, top left) turns baiting idealists into a sport. With that in mind, Mqratl Sade's strengths are also its weaknesses. On one hand, the attention paid to the detail in the supporting characters and the visual elements of the play create a thofoughly satilf~ringlnd immersing environment. On the other, 'they present a somewhat divided focus, as the supporting and background characters often upstage the main action, which largely consists of Marat struggling with his role as a revolutionary

leader and de Sade trying to get him to give it all up. Itdoesn'thelp that this interaction is often static and, at times, fairly flat. Part of this is due to the fact that so muchQf this ~onis reaIllfuiru,tcti()fl -:l'vIarat, afflicted with a feverish skin disease, is confined to a bathtub whilede Sade seems content to observe his fellow inmates from his chair.

See,MARAT/SADE page 20

CKMS to showcase Waterloo's top radio talent Colin Pardoe SPECfAL TO IMPRINT

Cl{MS 100.3FM Radio Waterloo is taking its shows on the road. 00. }':I:arch 22 the station is launching CKMS DAY, a one-day showcase in the Student Life Centre of some of the station's top programs. Froin 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., CKMS' core of volunteer programmers will be giving half hour demonstrations of their individual shows in the Great Hall. "With this event, we want to show students just how accessible campus radio is," said Moses Bogart, host of Straight Gutta the Pit, on Thurs-

day mornings. "Every student can participate in campus radio and become on-air programmers. We hope this event encourages a lot ofstudents to volunteer." Ben Ong, host of Stego-sars MUsUon Saturday evenings promised the event would have something for everyone. <'The CKMS sound is so diverse. It has something for every musical taste. So whether you like French experimental techno jazz or drum and bass, hip hop, blues, rock, or just hate Creed, you are going to enjoy listening." Other programmers set to take the mic include Arda Orcal, host of the extremely popular Wednesdaynightprogram,AGK-thePre-Bomber

show, as well as CooIJ, the host ofMondqy Morning Driflt and Chris Abbott, host of Vivala Underground on Wednesday nj.ghts. The day will also fea~re a drag show, set to start at 5:30 p.m. The Queens will also be out and about promoting the second half of CJO.;fS DAY, a concert in the Multi-Purpose Room. This concert will feature campus favourites Knock, Knock Ginger in their ftrst of two UW performances that week. Other bands include rock veterans Phenomenon of the Boy and UW newcomers Revive. The concert statts at 7 p.m. and is free for all CKMS members, $5 for nonmembers.

Students are encouraged to drop by throughout the day and even stop into the sexy CKMS listening lounge being put together by top UW designer Shawn Bell. "It's winter, it's cold," Bell said coyly. ''The listeners will want to be warm and furry. Expect my designs to revolve around that theme." Obviously, some surprises are in store. "I always have something up my sleeve," adds Ong. HLive radio is tough enough, but now I \vill have a live audience to contend with. If they aren't feeling my smooth flow then I need to have an ace I can pull out to trump the suck card. I never lose in radio poker."

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FRIDAY. MARCH 18,2005·

To the average g,uner, the Game Developers Conference is uninteresting. It tends to focus largely on what: the develop{~rs care abOUT: features, ease of coding and other various develop.ment aspecrs. This year, however, with the predicted unveiling of tluee nextnext-generation consoles in j\fay, eve·· rybod y cares. Journalis t8 and fanboys alike lay in wait for crumbs of information to fall from the mouths of the big execs. Therumou.r mill turns CUlan unfathomable amount of gal'muddled information. Of cuurse, there ate some valid details that spring from the conyention, mostly from the keynote speeches. Ther give the spokespeople of major console companies a chance to tout therr high hopes for the coming fiscal year or just ramble on about the "heart of the gainer" in an effort to \vaste time and draw sympathies. The of note this year were Nintendo President Satom Iwata's

".no

v lop rs o fer nc tear-jerking monologue and Xbox col1Jorate vice ..president .L Allard's HDTV-tossing high-energy hope talk. Both speeches left me \vith the same taste in Iny mouth as that time I tried the eat's food. N intendo 's president tried to put forth his best. Despite ha ving a sore throat and having to deliver the speech in English, he wove an engaging narratiYe that detailed his rise from a small-time game c(xnpany to the president ofNintendo. He got to the heart of the gamer through discussing simple game-play mechanics instead of the high-tech yerbalmasturbation that companies usually' en··

gage in. But unfortunately, he didn't say much about the tevolutionary revo·· lution of the "Revolution." In fact, he didn't say anything immediately rd· evant to the industry. Granted, his speech may have been somewhatvaluable to developers as it encouraged them to get back to their roots in innovative t-,'filme design. But it seemed more like a plea for attention to design and innovation (something which we are seeing the best of these days). From the perspective of Nintendo, this is a necessary bit of rhetorical guidance as their current

pet, the DS, is starying for good games that take fun advantage of the microphone and touch screen. I \.yas disappointedby his speech as both a gamer and a journalist: Being a Nintendo child, and admit:tedly a fan-boy at times, I was expectingan incredible announcement, not the sitting-.on-grandpa's.knee story. The rags-to-riches bit had me reaching for a tissue but failed to tell me anything that lasted beyond the emotional impact. I mean, I can see the whole idea on focusing on the games as a whole instead of just the graphics, but the speech played out like a desperate attempt to get an industry that is already pioneering new trends each day, to pioneer more. Preferably in a way profitable 1:0 Nintendo. Allard's keynote featured mote of the hard facts and discussion of advancement, but it sounded like the hope and wish \ve've been trained to disbelieve. According to Allard, gaming is moving ftom the "3D era" to something intangible and magical, which he eventually revealed to be the "HD era." He began weaving this brand new buzzword \.vith a typical football story, reaching out and clutch-

repared to be aralyzed

Queens of the Stone Age Lullabies to Paralyze Interscope Records

It's tough wl:itinga critical review about a band you reaUy admire and enjoy. On one hand, the temptation to entertain my artistic freedoms by writing a 500 word love fest is there, hut that would get old fast. On the other hand, you, the reader,rimst be given a fair and balanced opinion on this piece of work, and that's exactly what I'm going to do while discussing om? of my favomite bands' new rclease,Ltllltlbies to ParalYze. QOTSA's fourth album is a step in anew direction. Thedepartureoffounding member Nick Oliveri left a hole some fans found irreplaceable. Burdon'! fret, the band's ideals, which can be simply summed up as, "dope, guns and fuckingin the street," are still there -it's justlost some ofits edge. Oliveri, replaced by some guitar tech, continues to do his own thing, but after listening to I.Jd!abies to Pcml!y:tf it's clear that his influence on the band's music is missed. Luckily, this album is more than able to stand on its own t\\'o legs. No, you won't hear a peep from Dave Grohl on this one ... _.. instead ringleader and occasional frontmanJ oshHomme re-

cruiled ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons, Garbage's ShrrleyManso~ and Eleven's Alain Johannes for some extra assistance binding this album together. The opening track, a haunting oneminute acoustic piece v-.'ith 1\1ark Lanegan on vocals, is completely out· ofleft·!ield from a band that has stayed true to their stonerrock roots. Leaye it for the subsequent songs, "f\Iedica·· tion" and 'Tangled Up In Plaid," to kick things up a notch. Potential singles such as the cleyerly-hidden misogynistic "Everybody Knows That You're Insane" and the musicnerd-in-Iove track, "In My Head (Or Something)" litter the entire disc. And believe me, "Little Sister," thelead-off single, is among one of the \veaker songs you'll fInd on L.!;/Iabies to Panl!)':?,/! - a song that's managed to climb to #2 on the Billboard charts. But it's "Bum the Witch" - featuring Gibbons -- which manages to be the stand· out track on this album. \'ilith the morse··code beat which has defined the QOTSA sound ubiquitously over the past several years building the song up as Homme trades vocals with Gibbons, this song is exactly what the radio needs to play. And you don't get to be admitted in the Rock and Roll Hall ofF arne without having some guitar chops under your belt, which is exactly what Gibbons adds to this song. And hey, playing a guitar solo with your betlld should just speak for itself-- tmh' fucking amazing. Initially known as the guitnrist from early··'90s stoner-rock icons Kyuss, Homme's lyrical skills have vastly UTI.·proved since 2002's SOilgS/iVfI! the De<Jf For example, "Tne knot is light, on mr

blindt()Id/I got my tlesh full of blood, Ihaterocknroll" on "You've got a Killer SceneThere,j\Ian" and "The seed waits for the reaper to sew/Ever), breath an art/1he dignity to it can su-aifl and break your heart/Take all yout pieces home" from "This Blood is Love" evoke imagery that hasn't been present in modern rock in a very long time. One of my favourite aspects of this album is the placement of the tracks. The juxtaposition of "Skin on Skin" and "Broken Box" w-ork, perfectly; the first song being "dirtier than Prince's 'Darling Nicky'" with some imaginative guitar hooks (and a zipper!) while the other is a raised middle finger from the recipient of some pretty bad sex ("Take that broken pussy elsewhere"). Si.'TIilarly, the opening track and the dosingmunber, "Long Slow Goodbye" (feamringthe Disney marching band), connect the album in its entirety, allow-ing you to hit "repeat" on yout CD playerwhile ensill1ng some measm·e of completeness. L!I!JabiesioPam£yzeis a great albunl from a band \vhich has managed to achieve artistic success without compromising their sound and identity. The absence clfOuYeri does take away alotof the "oomph" that was present in prior releases and Homme's falsetto is rather omnipresent on many of the tracks. 11owevcr, barring this album is a feast for the ears and soul _._- it may never be as good as 2000'smastetpiece&!kdR(011eoftbe most underrated albums in the past 10years), butit'U definitdymal<eyour ears perk and your head hob. -

David George-Cosh

so hat?

ing Americans by their hearts. Eventually, the tapestry turned from the initial description of .HD TT s to a more broad and, some would say, entirely inaccurate description oHID. He speculated on the total cormectiviry that .l\1icrosofr has been chasing after for years. Remember .l\fSN TYr " ~ It's okay, nobody does. A.JIard alluded to things like rh2.t and also bits about your Xbox taJldng to most ofyour electronics. I personally prefer my electronics to be wallt1owers, sitting in their lonely existence, only communicating within their breed across tibre optics that mesh the country like a netwol·k of veins. But don't think for a second that I'm pooh-poohing the popularity ofXbox and the inevitable spread of Xbox 360/2/Nexl/Xenon that would \vork towards this goal. Microsoft is making a good play, albeit a very Borg-like one, in trying to convince the \vorld that their living room needs to be one solid neural-mesh ofj\fS-tronics. Coupled with this new idea of HD, Allard spoke of their next··nextgeneration online strategy, a subject that should have been the main course for all speeches. Allard de·· tailed such new features as the ability

to buy and

.ffl! your o\.vn created content (cars, courses, levds, etc), the ability to get awards for completing certain goals in games and the "gamer card" (think base bali card for garners). 'fhe news from GDC: was both exciting-and disappointing. Nintendo pooped out a nice anecdote on the true nature of gaming and A.Hard's projectile word-vomit posed eningly high objectives for the next round of the console wars. WhO knows, perhaps my re\vard for lopping the head off of some alien scum will be a nice fresh slice of toast, as prompted by my Xbox. Of course, the success of convergenceis entirely dependent on the time. Perhaps when the next Xbox is released, we'll all be ready for the HD era. More than likely, ho\vever, the focus will quickly fade f1"Om the newfangled features to the games. \1Chile their Xbox Live integration is impor~ tant 1:0 games, any other sort of fea-· tutes (like the camera) fall flat when closely inspected. All I know is that J will not be rushing out to buy an HDTV anytime soon, nor win I be decorating my room with heaps of MS bung.

talamen@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

California here we come!

best thing about The O.C is the lhemesong. 111at;andwhen RachdBilson dresses U}1ina superhero costume. I wish I could say that I simply don't get the appeal of the show, but that would be a lie. I do. It's about angst}', hot, young people. Por many television audiences, that's allyouneed.l fiTht:heatd rumblings about the show last year. I expected the hype to die down and when it didn't my curiosity became piqued.. After a bit of digging, I found that seriescreatorJoshSchwaltzisalife-long Cameron Crowe fan Vi/most Fail1ous, Fast Timts ,1t Ridgemont High) and that got me interested even more. Anyone who runs a TV show about teenagers and likcs realistic, interesting sto1"ies is okay in my book. The final sales pitch was when I fmmdoutaboutthenurner· ous comic book references. I was sold. Time to check out The O.C After many episodes and some serious thought, what is my conclusion? Meh. Not that it's particulady had, it's just not particularly good either. In my opinion, the main strength ofthe show is its sense ofhlll1our and the rehtionship bet\yeen the lead characters, Ryan (Benjamin }\kKenzie) andSt~t11 (Adam Brody). Tbeir friendship isinrerestil1gto watch and without it the show \yould quickly fall apart. AnotherthingthatI appreciate is the 5hO\v', witty dialogue. 1t doesn't approach the uniquc and hilarious b·ds of something .like Blt!ij! the bur it tries and I'll ~,'ive it props for tTh'lt

'111C

lVfanyofthe observations thatSethrmkes atequiteamusingandbothofthcactors put some nice htunanity into their char·· acters. The characters i\farissa and Surmner are easy on the eyes, but] don't find these 1:\'10 characters even slighdyinter·esting. Summer's "ditzy" act gets old very fast and ]I, farissa just feds dull. Not in the quiet-dull way that imrm'erted characters usually are, hut iIl the '\vno cares?" dun way that boring characters usually are. 11lto\v in the lesbo-arc that 'x·asrecentlyintroduced and instead of being engaged, you JUSt laugh. I know I did. Then again, I didn't change the channel either. One of the \veaknesses of being a guy I suppose. Good titilla·· tion it is, but good \vriting it ain't. Then there are "the p;ltcnrs." Holy nap, are those stories evn boring. Eyery single episode I find myself looking rt)l:ward to more teenage stuffif oPJy to get those people off the screen. 111is is inexcusable. Fully halfofeach episode is made useless by the contrived and uninteresting "parent B-story." In my opi.nion, i fthey ditched this angle and focused entirely on the teenagers, they would have agood opportunity to flesh out the characrers thatpeopleacrmulycare about Allinall,myvL'1:dicton TheO.C isn't a particularly good one. It appears to he nothing more than a show that 'wants to lure in thereenage demographicwit11 cute boys and scenes of girls making out in revealing clothing. ]11ere are some redee.ming features, but thus far the show nec.'C!s to ditch tbe ~c!<.m.a!rz.y love ltiangjes andsensationalisrnand focus on character and story. I think it has potentia~ and I'll keepwatchingforabitlonger, butthereare anumhetofchangesthatneedtobelmde if it w,mts to be remembered fi)f more than a week after it's gone. fvukcevic@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

FRIDAY, MARCH 18,2005

Imprint's CD review roundup its promotion team forincludiog a nice little booklet and an exttaDVDwith the album, but you're not missing much with Armor for Sleep. If you've heard 'one emo band, you've heard them all -

David George-Cosh

loungeactHe'sgotthevoiceofacrooner. Gemstrmef also has a lounge-esque feel. The album has 15 up-y little ditties with nice light guitar and piano. You can definitely clap your hands along to the songs. Buttheo,as thelyri€S are carried out. byvelvetysoftvoice, thelisteoer'shands immediatelystop clapping, and theperson wonders, ','Did he just say that?" , With the smoothriess ofGreen's voice aodthe~like,''Cato

Armor for Sleep

lina/ she'siromTexas/ qxl bricks drop

African Wind

What to do when you're dead

from/ hervagina",seem to comeoutof nowhere. (That's from the song Car0lina.) Thereis also the songcalled "Choke on a Cock," which has lines like ''I'd dance on NBC and say George J3ush 'shook hands with me, then I'd go and choke on a cock." This albumis riddled with one-liners that make the listener smile because they are so random. However, for the faos ofGreen's or the Moldy Peaches, thelyrics won't come as a shock, because kookio(!ss is Green's stick. Is the album Gemstones good or not? I wouldsaythatthe albumisgood. Themusicisgood, Greeo'svoiceisgood and thelyrics are funny. HO'.vever, when thelunniness ofthe lyrics wears off, the ' appeal of the album does, too. Uoless you are already a Green fan, I think this album would get old, fast.

Dan Treanor & Frankie Lee

EqualVisionRecords

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Philosophers and theologists havebeeo mulling over our mortal existence and subsequeotafterlife forwhat seems like forever, but along comes an emo hand fromNewJerseytosettlethedebatefor once and forall. Whatto Do When YOfl'~' Deadis the second album froJIlArmor for Sleep, a band I'm sure spends most oftheirtimettyingtolaodcovetedaooual spots on the Vans Warped Tour. This album includes the same old stuff you'd expect from other emo records: souring melodies, lyrics about girls and uorequitedlove and ultra-cleao production. What to Do Whet1 YOfl'~ Deadhas all ofthis but cleverly disguises itselfas a concept album that deals with (gasp~ whatto do whenyou're dead I'll give this album some bonus points to

Adam Green

Gemstones .Rough Trade

Gemstones is the fifth solo album from Adam Greeo,whois also a member of theMoldy Peaches. Ifyoukoawthekiod of music the Moldy Peaches play, then you have an idea of what Green's solo stuff is like. . The firstthiogthatstrikes thelisteoer is Green's voice; it's really good Ifhe wanted to,I bet Green could make anic;e IivingworkiogtheLasVegas circuitas a

Kate Cook

NorthemBlues

Dah Treanor and Frankie Lee are an uousualcombinatioo. Treanor,amusiciao,specializesiocteatiogAfricaoiosttuments bv hand, while Frankie Lee is a soul singer from California who performed in the Ike and ':(ina Turner Revue long before Ike went all badass. It's theAfrican aspectoftheircollaboration that's hyped on the covero£Afiican Wind, with a look that pretty much prepares the listener for a musical journeyto theheart~f theSahara. Unfortunately, whiletheydogettogo, the trip is moreofascenicfly-overthananall-out safari. Io some ofthe tracks, such as "Love a Womao'sSoul,"theAfricaninflueoce is served up nicely. The basic bluesChords are nearly woven over tribal beats, the

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FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005

Part two: CD review extravaganza hand-madeinstnunentsstandoutclearly and the music takes on a unique if not obviously hybridic fonn. Other songs merely feature African drums copying theNorthAmerican style. Inmostofthe tracks, however, the variety of instruments (wherethereevenisvariety) blend togethertoowell; before reading the list ofinstruments featured on each track,I wasunawarethatanythingevenremotely African was beingplayedinsome songs. The brave collaborators do deserve a bit ofdue praise. Treanorperuledall but one ofthe songs; they'rewell-composed anddrawupon bothAfricanandNorth American imagery in their lyrics. Lee's vocals ate marvelous. It took only a few minutes of listening to his soul pour through his rough, textured voice to see how he has withstood the test of time. Is it a 'gOOd album? Absolutely. But doesitliveuptotheimagethathasbeen created for it? Sadly, it doesn't. -

Adam Gardiner

LindaM Pretty on the Inside Self-produced

This is the worst album I've heard in years. Yes, strong words to say, but I wouldn'tsaythatifl didn'tmeanitwith every fibre ofmy being. Yes, Linda 1-.fs debut record, PrettY on the Inside, is a horriblepieceofwoman-orientatedpop withno substance, direction or concept The lyrics ate empty and forced; the music is trite and unoriginal. The album is an experience into, mediocrity unlike no other. The album title instantly reminds me of the many womenI'vehadtheexperienceofdating herein Waterloo. It also ties in nicely to Linda Mherself, who judging from her album cover, is nota veryptettywoman. At least she knows that she's not that pretty if she named her album, PrettY on

inspired cakewalk; they actually get the endingrightonthis one, so you sighinto the silence when it's finished. There ate acouple ofslower tunes on the album that I didn't find too inspiring. ''I don't Sleep" sounded like the -filler a mediocre band would tack onto the end ofagreatesthits compilationit's like somebody's pet song that no one had the heart to cut from the album. There ate a bunch of riffs that have spunk though. "Elevator man" hands you this Casio samba beat and keeps a good dialogue between the verses and chorus with a Tijuana trumpet solo dancing around the middle. They use some cool sound effects too-a bit of Holst-inspired randomness in a secret track between six and seven. Otherthanthat,alotofthesongslast at least 20 seconds too long, which is annoying, but I wouldn't recommend throwing it in the coaster pile. -

Rebecca Temmer

Alight Story of Glass Part One: Erosion SocialArtsClub

On the outset, Alight's Srory qfGlass, Part One: Erosion showcases epic postorchestral-pop melod!-es composed by the collective from Guelph's Social Arts Club. Keeping true to its title, the evolution ofeach successive songstructure mimics the progression of erosion over time. Initially, tracks slowly and methodically build to peaked a state only to violently explode into pieces as characterized by "Por the Rocks Dancing" and "Alongshore." Just as rocks brettk into pebbles and eventually become dust, the album slowly breaks down musically in structure and volume. Capped by the nine minute "Sands in the Sky" and the 15 minute "One By One," the music becomes quiet and thinly placed among the sparse atmospheric sounds. Further, carefully listening to this albumreveals true beautynotnecessatil:y found through its dynamic, progressive song structures but rather through subtle details embedded within the instrumentation and singing of each song. The twinkle of the mandolin gently hides behind the violin andguitat holding together the melody for "Chemicals." As the listener's ears try to absorb ~ the sound of the dual organ introduction to ''Dead and the \Vairing," an eerie fog rises that drowns the confident yet very fragile human vocals. These background details ate slowly magnified with each listen revealing smaller particles to fix upon. -

Benjamin Ong

David George-Cosh

The Golden Dogs Everything in Three Parts True North

The Golden Dogs recently released their sophomore debut Etwything in Thm Parts, a chord-driven, bubblegum rock smorgasbord ofdistortion. Some ofthe ttacksarecatchyandhavetheseinctedibly spirited influences, but the beat usually hangs around a driven four/four rock. Usually a band will put the songthat they think will get the most radio play out front and "Birdsong" is like a dirty, fluotescentBeachBoysmirrortheyhope will sell. This band also chose to stickthe track they had the most fun with onto the ass end ''BigBoyand the Masters of the Universe" takes you on a .tvIarve~-

Home.

Final Fantasy Has a Good Home Blocks

Arranging string sections and playing violin for some of Canada's biggest bands including Do Make Say Think and the Arcade Fire, very fewquestion the technical ability of Owen Pallett. In Final Fantasy, Pallett further displays his talent as he composes pop shorts by layering violin loops. After wooing live audiences all over North America, Final Fantasy hit the studios

Whileitwouldbe near impossible to re-create the sheer mayhem and awe of Final Fantasy's live performances, the album is still able focus on many fine points. The classical tone of Pallett's voice blends effortlessly with loops of bow and pizzicato, all whilst inviting listenerS to engagewithinhis short, well told stories offriendship,adventUreand political culture. Additionalinstrumentation and vocals are added to the recorded tracks expanding the scope of FinalFantasy'smusicalvision. Whether itbeGenrlemenRegansweringPallett's calls on "Library" or Leon Taheny's drums on ''Please Please'Please," the guest musicianship added to FinalFantasy feellessliketechnicalcollaborations and more like treasured camaraderie. The simple, folksy structure ofHas a ,GoodHome is unpretentious and easy to listen to but subtly elaborate enough to enlighteneventbemosttrainedlisteners. -

Benjamin Ong

Former French Immersion Students: Earn $25.00 for Research Survey

the I,tside. . There is nary a song which deviates from the stupid, alteady-been-done-adnauseam formula of, "a woman wantingherman,"while tryingto convey the un-dead ghost of Shania Twain. And after hearing the same thing from many, many other female artists, you can be sure that this is the last time you~ll ever hear the artist Linda M again. I want the hour ofmy life I wasted listening to this album back.

late last year to record Has a Good

LCD Soundsystem Self-Titled DFA/EMI

As soon as I heard the first song off LCD Soundsystem's long=anticipated debut full-length, I knew that I just heard my new fayourite band. Mixing danceable punk with wonderful electronic sounds, LCD Soundsystem provides hours of sonic enjoyment for any experienced listener and kept a smile on my face for days. James Murphy, part ownerofDFA (it used to be called Death FromAbove which got shortened after September 11) is the main stat here - LCD Soundsystem is his baby. Murphy steps out of the shadow of being a label owner and adored indie music remi:lter and ftnally compiled enough material for an album. And the wait couldn't have been longer. Drawing !J.eavily from influences such as The Beatles ("Never As Tired As ~JhenI'm Waking Up'') and Daft Punk (''Daft Punk is Playing At My House''), Murphy and therestofLCD Soundsystem paint a musical landscape that's second-to-none but has to be experienced personally to be able to fully enjoy it. There's even a second CD included in the package, a collection of singles released prior to the album's release. Included is the beloved Pitchfork Medla song, ~'Yeab (Crass. Version)" which perked my ears over a year ago. With two CDs of highly entertaining dance-electronic-indie punk, you'd be an idiot not to pick this albuni up.

Are you an Anglophone student? Did you complete an elementary early, middle or late French immersion program? If so, we'd like to hear about what you did in high school and university. Did you stop taking French? Did you enroll in a high school immersion, extended, maintenance, or corelbasic French program? Did you complete the high school French program or did you drop French during high school? Did you take postsecondary French courses or did you stop taking French after high school? If you completed an elementary French immersion program we want to hear from you. We will pay a limited-number of students $25 to complete a 15-20 minute survey for a large research project. Go to www.cpf.ca and select the Student Survey link in the "What's New" section.

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FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005

Part three: CD review extravaganza low-to-mid range stuff. At times, he sounds dangerously like thenextkingof elevator music; Remy Shand Yikes. Thatsaid, the instrumentalism alone on this album makes it a good listen. In a single word, I would use the title ofthe third track, "Superfoxified;"Idon'tknow what that word means, but I know it's funky. To be notified of future Russell Jennison performances and releases, check outwww.redballoon.ca.

Russell Jennison Self-Titled Self-Produced

You thought funk was dead? Well roll down the windows on the shaggin' wagon, 'cause we're taking this album for-a cruise down Groove Street. There is some strong instrumental work here. For those of you who can't remember the '70s, Jennison's band sounds likeJ amiroquai without the hiphop. 1be presence of a good chorus effect on the keyboards, plus somewha wha guitar that can only be described as ''boss,'' make this music smootherthan James Bond covered in velvet. The bass is consistentlyphat, drivingundemeath thevocalandkeyboard tracks andmatchingup perfectly. ThednunsarerighterthatianAmerican election - no easy task with the complex jazz rhythms at play. Jennison and his bandreallytakeownerslrip ofthe instrumentalaspectsofthismusic,leaving little to be desired. I wish I could say the same for Russell's singing, but he fails to match the strength ofthe bandin that respect. The vocal melodies are well composed and he hits all the notes, but his voi~e sounds nasal in the high parts and lacks the soulfulness required to really kickitin the

now," from "Banana Pancakes," grasp at being beautifullywhimsital, but end up being dumb and weak. There are a few\vhiffs of blues, jazz and rock, enough to show that Jack has heard of these things, but without any substance to back them up. If you liked Brushfire Fairytales/ On and On and are the type of person that thinks good things should never change, you'll probably like this CD. You will find yourself not listening to it a month from now, once the novelty wears off. Fact is, only one rock band in history has ever managed to pullgood album after good album from the same box. They were AC/DC, !lnd were only able to do so through several deals with the devil. If he keeps this up, we can expect Jack Johnson to go back to his surfmg career very soon. -

Darren Hutz

Jack Johnson In Between Dreams Universal

In Betwem Dreams is Jack Johnson's third studio album and stylistically, his music has been essentially the same throughout. But don't let the handful of catchy lines and tunes fool you, this is a boring album. Jack's trademark .simplicity that has worked so w~ll in prior endeavours simply falls flat. He actually manages to overdo simplicity. I enjoy the rhythmic, rambling vocals, but the lyrics are at times, extremely lame. Lyrics-like "I'll make banana pancakes / pretend like it's the weekend

Volta is at first a difficult band to grasp. The lyrics are still as cryptic as ever and the innumerable shifts in musical genres could easily turn off potential listeners, which is an unfortunate thing because a little patience goes a long way. Comprised of fi,:,e "songs" that flow together effortlessly and clocking at a massive 77 minutes, Frances the lv/ute seems to draw elements from psychedelic rock, jazz and hardcore. The album itself was inspired by a diary found by the late bandmate Jeremy Ward that details the attempts ofits adopted authorat fmding his birth parents. From the explosion of frenetic guitar and drum work that kicks off the album with "Cygnus ....yismund Cygnus" to the gende acoustic strumming of "The \Vidow," the space thatis covered is truly incredible and the way in' which the band bounces between styles is what makes this such an enjoyable listen. The epitome of the 'juxtaposition ofmusical styles comes on the track "L'Via, L'Viaquez," alternating between a heavy rock pulse and a slow latin groove which ~nds up being truly remarkable song.. For an'album ofits size and scope, it would be difficult for Frances The }Yiuteto not have its follies. There are a few instances where the extended ambient passages seem to go on too long, but ~any 'of its potential cxcesses are made up by the sheer multitude of remarkable moments. This is an album that, though at first demanding of the listener, requires multiple listens before opening up to be the great album that it is.

The Mars Volta Frances The Mute Universal

Much like their previous release Deloused in the Comatorium, The Mars

Eric Sykes

The Black Maria Lead us to Reason Victory

According to the sticker on the shrinkwrap of this album, if you like AFI, the Used and Muse, you'll like The Black Maria; this is a damnable lie. Though theVictoryRecordsInarketing department thinks that this album aspires to be the dark, broodingpunk of AFI,the soatingdramaoflvIuse and the goth screamo ofthe Used, the CD itself tells a completely different story. It would have been more on the money had it listed as influences the bands whose fonnermembers actually make up the roster - namely, Grade, Zyon and New Day Rising. l\fu: these three together;and you get a betteridea of what listening to Lead us tv Reason is actually like. The sticker got one thing right: the only way to describe this album is in tennsofothera1b~,lieCa'M:tfif!~1iole'

thingis hopelessly derivative. No original guitar work, nothing new in the vocaisand thelyricshave been absolutely done to death. The moral? Stickers lie. Damn them. Damn them to fiery hell. -

Ian Blechschmidt

Marat/Sade: the revolution C,\ntinued from page 16

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mess ofviolence and chaos. As everything crashes down around him and To a degree, this serves to develop the dircL1:or and his v,;fe flee out ofthe the play, \vith Marat's own immobility theatre, de Sade climbs up onto his reflecringthatofthelowerclasses(were chair and takes it all in with obvious the poor really significantly less poor glee (one actually wishes that we had after the revolution?). However, it is seen more of this from Ryder during difficult to keep one's atrention on the the previous two hours). The play two title characters .ends with everywhen they are sitthing dark except ting still and tI;lere for a' spotlight on The play does, are far more dyde Sade, who namic (and often closes the whole however, make a moreinteres~ affair with an intremendous things going on sidious cackle, and behind them. the audienceisleft dramatic impact As a result, to head back out where it probably scenes that might into the world, othenyise have a wondering who counts the most. greatdealofpunch really belongs befall just short of hind bars, and really making a dramatic impact. what hell will break loose when their The play does, however, make a own spectacle breaks down. tremendous dramatic impact where it There are enough highly engaging probably counts the most - right at elements in this play to make it very the end. As the play-within-the-play worthwhile, and, in all fairness, any reaches its conclusion and the director shortcomings can probably be chalked . ofthe institution (who had previously up to opening night bugs. Readers been sitting with the audience) apstill have some time to see for themproaches the bars to congratulate the selves, as}Y[arat/ Sadecontinues at the players, all hell breaks loose. ApparTheatre of the Arts until March 19. 'endy, the spectacle was the only thing keeping the inmates in line and now ianb@imprint.uwaterloo.ca that it's over, the stage cascades into a

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Tell us about yourself

SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY ~~cu-"ooa Modern women. too busy for childbirth? weight gain or concern about loss of vaginal tightness. The scheduling of C-sections has even gone so far as to In this fast-paced world filled \vith have them early, in the last month of drive-thrus, Internet shopping and pregnancy to avoid putting on the . incredible rates ofconsumption, have extra fat that comes in the ninth month. \Vestern values of comfort and conIs there some sort of ethical issue that venience crossed the line? At this should be addressed here, like the year's Pregnancy and Birth Conferhealth of the baby? As usual, it seems ence held by the Centre for Research society,is follO\ving the examples of in Women's Health, the increasing celebrities like Victoria Beckham (aka. rate of medical interventions, in par"Posh Spice") who has had two Cticular Caesarean sections, was dissections and inspired the term "too cussed by health professionals. Across "posh to push." Canada, C-sections have increased In the past, C-sections were from 15 per cent in the 19708 to 25 performed when a vaginal pet cent today. There are a few medi- birth was not possible or it cal reasons that have contributed to was unsafe for the mother and this increase, such as the older age at child. A C-section is major abdomiwhich women are having babies. nal surgery and although the proceHowever, age alone does not explain dure has improved,various risks such the dramatic and continuing increase as infection, injury to the baby and of C-sections. Rather, it seems that future reproductive problems like ecC-sections have become fashionable. topic pregnancies are still associated \Vomen request medically unnecwith the procedure. Additionally, baessary C-sections for a variety of reabies tend to have higher incidences sons such as: fear of pain, desire to ofallergies and greater problems 'with sch~dule their lives, concern about. respiratory "adaptations such as wet Shauna Solomon

IMPRINT STAFF

lung syndrome. ltecovery from Csections within the hospital is more costly to Canada's health-care system than vaginal births. In Brazil, the cosmetic surgery capital of the world, C-sections have been made into a status symbol in which private

Corporate welfare bums are taking my money!

Ideologically speaking, Tom Levesque and I live on different planets - we may actually inhabit separate dimensions. Regardless of our differences, however, there was a moment on Tuesday evening when I felt very close to the little right-wing gremlin and his litany of "stop taking' my money." That evening, Charles Caccia, who was the Liberal Member of Parliament for the Toronto riding , of Davenport from 1968 until he retired after the last election, spoke at the university on the unsustainable ways that Canada is pillaging its own resources. Caccia is vastly knowledgeable about these things, having been the minister of the ~n vironment for a time in the '80s as well as chairing the Committee on Environment and Sustainable Development for 12 years. The Kyoto Protocol came into effect last month and our resourcerich, pollution-heavy country has committed to cutting its greenhouse gas emissions to six per cent below 1990 levels by 2012 - all this in order to reduce the human contribution to global· warming and its effects on our planet. One of the largest'polluters in the country happens to be the oil and gas industry, which produced 20 per cent of Canada's greenhouse gasses in 2002 and whose total emissions rose by nearly 50 per cent between 1990

hospitals deliver 90 per cent of .newborns by the procedure. According to the World Health Organization, a Caesarean section rate of over 15 per cent is deemed to be "inappropriate usage." Although some obstetricians refuse to perform the procedure, many supportC-sections as preventative measures for complications that can arise during labour. Csections reduce risk to both mother and child in issues of breech babies, multiple births, prior C-sections and large newborns. Despite the C-sectiQn controversy that has divided the medical field and politicalgroups, the debate continues - should women have "the right to choose?" As the situation stands right now, it is reported that women are inaccurately informed about their birthing options, so the right to choose becomes a complicated issue. Anne Kingston of Fashion magazine proposed that "the

elective C-section is symptomatic of the increasj,ng medicalization of birth, another indication of how alienated women have become from a natural, transformative process." l\iean\vhile, Rebecca Eckler, a columnist at the National Post opted for a Caesarian section because she was terrified of going into labour. The backlash that she received from her publicized decision included names such as "selfish" and being a "non-feminist" or a "bad mother." Eckler continues to support the C-section procedure. Many questions arise out of this controversy. Where are women's voices on this issue? What are the long term consequences of C-sections to the health of mother and child? As Kingston described the situation, "How did life's most profound experience "get reduced to a trend story?" The jury is out of this one. I'll leave it to you to decide if science has gone too far or if this trend is beneficial to society. ssolomon@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

he robot is more than lust an '80s dance

technologies by.skewing the market. and 2002 - these ranis are pr()j~ted to continue rising unabated. In CanaMore perversely, one of the bigda's official ''business-as-usual'' line, gest arguments against alternative emissions' are slated to increase from replacement - if one unit is damenergy technologies is that they canAdam Gardiner aged. 72.6 megatonnes in 1990 to 144.4 not compete economically against IMPRINT STAFF "1 look at these robots as enhancmegatonnes in 2010 according to petroleum without government What has happened to the robot? Natural Resources Canada statistics. . subsidization. The counter-argument ing your senses," said Dr. Pradeep Khosla, head of the project. It's likely Caccia pointed out in his talk that, is that if there was a level playing field " With the possible exception of Sony's AIBO dog and "Robot W'ars" fightthe robots \vill become available for for wind, solar and other sustainable among all of Canada's other resource management blunders (including the sale, at which point th~y can enhance technologies they would be able to ing circles, it seems as though robots the senses of law enforcement units east coast cod fishery debacle), our outstrip petroleum because they have become passe compared to the leaps being made with computers and everywhere. would be economically feasible, while country's subsidies of the oil and gas c,:llular phones. While the field has having far fewer negative impacts on industry are undermining our comctrtainly taken a back seat to these . Nurses the biosphere. mitments to the Kyoto Protocol. Direct expenditures on oil· and If you're concerned about how more popular areas of interest, how" Although she is only a research ever, it's anything but extinct. Here reducing subsidies will affect conproject, Pearl has a promising career. gas by the federal govemment (this She was designed by researchers at doesn't include the money the provsumers, it's been projected that the. are just a few of the ways robotic technology is continuing to prove itCarnegie ,¥ellon University to help price of oil will increase approxiinces hand out) totalled $166.2 milmately 25 cents Canadian a barrel. them understaild how robots can be self as more than just a dated craze: lion between 1996 and 2002. The of help to senior citizens. A selflargest portion of this money went to To put this into perspective, the price Millibots Alberta's oil sands projects, the most of a barrel of crude ;hot up U.S. propelled unit, Pearl has a head, face resource-intensive petrole\¥D extrac$1.30 Tuesday to $56.35 on the New As the "milli" might suggest, these and a place to put objects. She will York Mercantile Exchange - its robots are tiny. Scientists working on also raise her eyebrows and smile tiontnethod currently used in Canada. the Millibot project at the Carnegie when a person moves towards her. Total expenditures, including tax highest level yet. The researchers understood that Mellon University have developed While Mr. Levesque complains incentives and program or <;lepatt~ mental expenditures, came to $8.32 aboutourgovemments givingmoney an anny of seven-centimetre long memory loss is one of the largest to marginalized and disaffected por- units that roll along on tiny wheels. obstacles to seniors livingindependbillion b"etween 1996 and 2002. That's tions ofour population, I propose we They could be equipped individually ently and programmed Pearl to say a lot of my money that is being given to an industry of rather questionable pick on someone our own size. It's. with a camera, recorder, sonar, heat and display almost anything, sustainability. tiine we stopped giving corporate detector or any other tYPe of sensory whether it be a reminder to take device. pills or to make appointments. Her welfare bums a handout and force Compare these handouts to the The team created the robots with eyes conceal two cameras which, amount of money that is going to them to start earning their keep. combined with·a laser sensor in her reduce greenhouse gas under the newly At the end ofJanuary, the Pembina the intention that they could be used lower section, can "see" people released budget, and something seems " Institute, a Canadian think tank that to enter dangerous situations, such as a hostage situation inside a building. moving and analyze changes in the monitors environmental issues, reawry. Canada has committed to spendleased a report t:ntitled "Govemment Police already use large, multi-pur- way they walk. If necessary, Pearl is ing $5 billion over the next five years, also equipped with wireless Internet Spending on Canada's Oil and Gas pose robots for the same purpose, which inCludes $1 billion from the sale but using a team of smaller units has technology to contact Il. doctor if of Petro-Canada and covers all enviIndustry: Undermining Canada's she detects something worthy of many advantages. For one, they can ronmental initiatives, not just climate Kyoto· Commitment." Most of the notification. . quietly go where the big units can't. change or Kyoto. facts and figures. from this article Despite all the technology in Pearl, come from their research. For more In ventilation ducts, for example, One of the biggest arguments they could travel unnoticed and see it's her appearance and personality information check out posed against petroleum Subsidies into virtually any room. And while a the researchers are the most inter(by organizations like the Organiza- www.pembina.org single-unit operation would failif the ested in working on. tion for Economic Cooperation and rtemmer@imprint.uwaterioo.ca robot was damaged, a team of small Development) is that they underSee MEDICINE, page 23 robots can continue - or send in a mine the development of alternative

FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005

Medicine: robotics benefit human h'ealth Ir

Continued from page 22

With changeable eyes and facial features, a potential user could make Pearl whatever they think looks friendliest. But Nurse Betty need not worry; the researchers emphasize that Pearl is only intended to supplement the nursing profession. Team manager and nursing professor Judy . Mathews says, 'We are not envisioning that the technology we develop would replace nurses; in fact, I think it would really push nursing ahead." Deep-sea divers To say that Jason II is designed to work in water is something of an understatement. The deep-sea robot is designed to function up to 6,500 metres deep, where up to 600 times the pressure of sea-level atmosphere can act upon it. With a design that includes titanium posts for, the electronics, an electronic eye that "pans" and, "tilts,"

and an arm with two joints, the uri':' derwater machine i~ as versatile as it is durable. "I think we're seeing an increased interest in the use of robots to conduct deep-water science," says Andy Bown, an engineer on the robot's development team. 'Jason II represents a very distinct step forward in thatway." Forward, and down - way, way down.

prevent bleeding), tiny forceps ab,out the size of a fIngernail; and a blunt end, which holds up any part of the surgical site that might get in the way of where the instruments are working. The operator sits in a seat with foot pedals and hand controls to operate DaVinci, and looks through a viewer to see through DaVinci's eyes. Thanks to DaVinci, only four incisions are needed to perform an Retnote-controlled surgeons operation as complex as a bypass, It's a robot with one eye and four arms. Its name is DaVinci, and al- .~d the surgery is more precise. As a result, the patient recovers much though it's controlled by a doctor, it faster, and can be back to normal in can do much more than the most skilled human ever could. This elecunder a week. I(there's one thing that's clear, it's tronic surgeon, which is wheeled into that robots have come a long way the operating room and hangs over since their fust appearance, which the surgery table, resides at the Lonwas, by the way, in a: 1921 play entidon Health Sciences Centre, and can tled RoSSIIIJI'S UniversafRobots,in which single-handedly - or perhaps a man builds a robot that eventually quadra-handedlyis more accurate~ perform almost an entire cardiac op- ' kills him. Robots ru;e becoming more eration. On the unit's advanced withevery year, and more four arms, which each' ofan enhancement to a wide range of have their own elbow professions. Fortunately, they're a lot less deadly than they feared over and wrist joints, are: a micro-camera, the 80 years ago. scalpel (which sears agardiner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca the skin as it cuts to

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Green tea better than orange pekoe

leena Singh SPECIAL TO iMPRINT

Green tea prevents cancer Scientists in London have discovered how green tea helps prevent cancer. Green tea contains a compound known as Epigallocatechingallate (ECGC) that inhibits the enzyme "dihydrofolate reductase (D HFR), which is a recognized, established target for anti~can. cer drugs," said Prof. Roger Thorneley, of John Innes Centre in NOt\llich, England. Thorneley said this is the fIrst time that a "known targe.t for an anti-cancer drug has been identifIed as being inhibited by ECGG." EGCG is five times more abundant u; green tea than other teas and it is possible that it is one of many cancer-fighting agents in green tea.

EGCG is similar in structure to the anti-cancer drug' called methotrexate and kills cancer causing cells in the same way as the drug. ECGC binds tightly to DHFR which is vital to both cancerous and healthy cells. However, it does,not bind as strongly as methotrexate, so side effects on healthy cells are much less severe. Himalayan glaciers melting away A recent report released by the World Wildlife Fund states that China, India and Nepal could experience floods followed by droughts in the upcoming decades as a result of melting glaciers in the Himalayan Mountains. The Himalayans feed and regulate water supply to the Ganges, Indl,ls, Brahmaputra, Mekong, Thanlwin, Yangtze and Yellow rivers. The glaciers are retreating at a rate of 10-15 metres each yea.r and will even affect citizens living t¥ from the mountains who rely on th~irwa ter supply, as well as farmers' who need regular irrigation in order to grow their crops successfully. The melting of these glaciers is due to

global wartning. Jennifer Morgan of the W\'V'F said she fears "the world faces an economic and development catastrophe ifthe rate ofglobal warming isn't reduced." World's fastest robot revealed! Hitachi unveiled Emiew the fastest robot at' a press conference in Japan. The Emiew is 1.3 metres tall and has a traveling speed of 6 km/h (3.7- miles pCi' hour). The goal for creating this robot was to "cr~ate a robot that could live and co-exist with people," said Toshihiko Horiuchi, from Hitachi's Mechanical Engineering Research Labora'tory. The Emiew has sensors on the "head, waist and near the wheels." It has a vocabulary of approximately 100words and "could be trained for practical offtce and factory use in as little as five to six years." It is predicted that by the end of 2007 there will be approximately 4.1 million leisure robots in homes as opposed to the 137,000 that currently reside in domestic residences (UN). Hitachi is one of the companies,that already have home cleaning robots on the market.

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SERVICES. "Ultimate Questions" The Lord Jesus Christ is the difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence. Please send name and address to: Bible study, Zion United Reformed Church 1238 Main St., Sheffield, ON LOR 1Z0 or e-mail bible@zurch.on.ca. See web site: www.zurch.on.ca.click on Links, ask for book. Sign up today, it's free. ' Term Paper help from dedicated writing professionals with more than 30 years ex?erience. E.S.L., research & writing, editing and: proofreading, 'entrance letters and thesis help. Toll Free 1-88'8-3458928 or customessay.com. We fix any computer problem - $55 flat - plus, free diagnosis! Pop ups, viruses, spam, hardware - we fix it all. Visit our store or call 747-5979. Waterloo Networks, 220 King Street, N., across from WLU, behind Phil's. Custom essay writing and research assistance - EsSay Experts can write an essay or research papers on any topic, level and for any deadline. Call 1-877-974TEXT or visit EssayExperts.ca. Motorola cell phone uniocking/ unbranding/upgrades/customizations $15. Email gsmunlocking@uwforsale.com or call 721;U31 if interested.

FOR SALE Computer pm 700 Mhz, 128 RAM, 15 ,GB Quantum Fireball HDD, VIA VT82C596B chipset motherboard, ATi Rage 128 Video card, Creative CT4750 Sound card, 3 COM Fast Etherlink XL PCI. $125.00 cash or cheque. Call 8884048 or come to SLC1116.

HOUSING

Room for rent - uptown Waterloo, Caroline and Erb Streets. Call 496-8273 and ask for Teresa or Bob. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 725-5348. Free Apartment Finder Services! Over 8,000 apartments in our database. We make appointments, you Save time! High rise, low rise, town homes, furnished and unfurnished. All prices! Call now for this free service. 310-7000. Three bedroom apartment for September and May $395 per room. Five bedroom apartment on 449 Hazel, $350 per room September 1,2005. Two one bedroom $900-$700, 122 Columbia 8 rooms. 746-6327 or 501-1486. Call Waterloo Off~Campus Housing (w.O.C.H.) for all your housing needs. Quality service and quality housing at www.rentwoch.com. 747-7276. .' Summer terni sublet - 365 Albert Street just 'off Columbia. 10 minute walk from campus. 1 room in 2 bedroom apartment close to all ammenities. $485 month negotiable (utilities included). Matt: 880: 0569 or e-mail matman92003@yahoo.com. 23B High.Street, off Hazel, on bus route to University. Three bedroom modern self-contained apartment with kitchen, livingroom, modern bathrooni, laundry room with free washer/dryer. Lease May 1 or September 1,2005 (12 month lease). $415/studentlmonth, utilities included. Call June Smith (416) 491-1370 or (416) 705-5648 or e-mail turtle005@rogers.com. Available September 2005 to August 2006 - five bedroom house. Great Uptown Waterloo location. Close to all amenities. Parking and laundry facilities. Available

to a group of fiv.e at $319/studentlmonth. Call Mike at 888-7377 or e-mail fastboat@gold~n.net. September Rental - 3 bedroom townhouse in student complex. Excellent unit with new carpets and vinyl being installed before move in. New appliances. Utilities included $410 per bedroom. Call Darlene 746-1411. May Rental - 3 bedroom large multilevel townhouse~ Excellent student townhouse complex professionally managed. Utilities included for $410 per bedroom. It doesnt get any better than this!! Call Darlene at 746-1411, Haney PM . . May 1st 3 bedroom triplex - fully fur- . nished, shared kitchen and bathroom parking, laundry, non-smoker, cleanin~ lady two times per month to clean kitchen and ba.throom. Rent from $400.00 per month. Viewing 153' Weber Street, N., Waterloo. Call 884-4764. Best Sublet Ever Spend this summer in an air-conditioned home with pool and tennis court next door. Partially furnished bedroom, full furnished living rooms, kitchen with dishwasher, free laundry, free parking. Price negotiable. Email kterluk@hotmail.com Sublet May - August 1-5 bedrooms available, 147B Weber St. $299 '+ utilities. Close to plaza, 2 bathrooms, 2 fridges, w~sher & dryer, cable and internet' hookups, parking, negotiable. 747-8445. Quality townhouses available for Fall from $330 to $390. Call Kate (905) 8253196 or kate longo@cogeco.ca. Six bedroom century home, large principal rooms, hardwood floors, verandah loft, fireplace, garden and laundry $1,850. Four bedroom, two storey loft, approximately 2,000 square feet, utilities included, near Uptown Waterloo $1,495. Call Bianca 722-1598 from 2:00 to 7:00 p.m. or 496·5884 afrer 7:00 p.m.

COURSES SP-IOO Forest Fireflghting Course, Waterloo, March 16 -20, 2005. Please call to register Wildfire Specialists Inc. 2233 Radar Road, Suite 5, Hammer, ON P3P 1R2. Toll Free: 1-877-381-5849. Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources Accredited. No Guarantee of Employment.

HELP WANTED Part-time help needed atAi Madina Egyptian Cuisine and Just n'Pita at University Plaza, 150 University Ave., W., Waterloo, beside Campus Laundry. Please bring resume in during business hours. Tutor needed for Grade 12 chemistry/ biology student. One or two hours per week. Willing to meet on campus. Pay

negotiable. Please e-mail Julia at lubczynski@sympatico.ca. Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges.· Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W H~bilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, ~tchener, ON, N2G 3V2. , New club and restaurant opening May 2005. Accepting applications for all positions. Please mail resume with cover letter to: Attention: Bar Manager, 7-140 University Ave., W., Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 6J3 or apply in person to same address on March 24 or 31 between 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Bring in valid Smart Serv !D. . Camp Wayne for Girls. Childrens' sleepaway camp, Northeast Pennsylvania (6/ 18 - 8/14/05) If you love children and want a caring, fun environment we n.eed Directors and Instructors for Tennis, Swimming (W.S.1. preferred), Golf, Gymnastics, Cheerieading, Drama, High & Low Ropes, Team Sports,

Waterskiing, Sailing, Painting/Drawing, Ceramics, Silkscreen, Printmaking, Batik, Jewelry, Caligraphy, Photography, Sculpture, Guitar, Aerobics, SelfDefense, Video, Piano. Other staff: AdministrativelDriver (+21), Nurses (RN's and Nursing Students), Bookkeeper, Mothers' Helper. Interviews March 21. Call 516-889-3217 or 1-800-279-3019 or apply online at www.campwaynegirls.com. Wait persons with Sip program and line cooks needed weekends and weekdays at Angies. Call 747-1700, Sharon or Mike. Brick Brewing Company - hiring summer promotions team (part-time). Drop off resume to Brick Brewery Beer Store, 181 King St. North, Waterloo. Home care providers needed for two families with young children. Part-time hours and very flexible. Please callAmaal at 747-9674 (Erbsville) and Rosina 8831035 (Alt;>ert Street). .

CAMPUS BULLETIN ANNOUNCE Wanna ... live purposefully - lead passionately - influence powerfully? Twenty20 welcomes you! Twiceamonth - bus pickup at UW, SLC at 6:45 p.m and WLU underpass at 7:00 p.m. For more infe;> call 744-7447 or www.kcf.org or pauld@kcf.org. Philosophy in Action: Join a discussion that looks at how philosophy applies to everyday life. Saturdays and Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m. in downtown Kitchener - 742-4433 (leave message). Check out all the events happening in the Student Life Centre at http:// www.studentservices.uwat~rloo.ca/slc/

events.htm. -International students: experience a unique Canadian sport. Try broomball! It'srlayed onice, similar to ice hockey, but no skating required. Women and meh play together - everyone is \velcome (Canadians too). Contact u~..:broomball@hotmail.com for more information. Linda Perez's Existere to commemorate International Women's Day at the Waterloo Community Arts Centre, March 4 to April 2. This Kitchener artist has created a series of life-size sculptures using clear packing tape and her own body as a model. For more information please contact Sher DiCiccio, 886-4577, wcac@sentex.net or visit www.sentex.net/-wcacweb/ N~minations are requested for the foll&wing seats on Senate: Graduate Student Representatives- Two graduate students of the university to be elected by/from the full and part-time graduate students of the university, terms from May 1,2005 to April 30, 2007. Nomination forms are 1<, ,lfen \

l 11

•

available from the Secretariat (ext 6125) and from the Secretariat webpage; see http://wwW.adm.uwaterloo.ca/infosec/ electionslnomelections.htm. At least five nominators are required in each case. Nominations should be sent to the Chief Returning Officer, secretariat, Needles Hall, room 3060 no later than 3:00 p.m., Wednesday, March 30, 2005. Elections will follow if necessary. Graduate student member of Senate whose term expires as of April 30, 2005 and is eligible for re-election: Heather Murray (Biology). . ~

UPCOMING Friday, March 18,2005 The Rainbow Reels Queer Film FeStival. presents 5th annual at uw, Davis Centre, room 1302: Queer content has steadily increased. in mainstre:1mmoviesand TV over recent yea~s. this years fe;ti~al focuses on film that tells queer stories on the margins of the queer community. more information For www.rainbowreels.org. Thursday, March 20, 2005 Looking for exciting careers? A.health informatics and bioengineering careers symposium - to bring students together with interested companies/organizations. Join us for this free event from 4:30 to 7:30 p.m. To register: http:// hi. uwaterloo.ca. Thursday, March 24, 2005 Learning Disablilites Association of KW is h<;>sting a video workshop at 7;30 p.m. titled "When the Chips are Down.. ,Strategies for Improving children~s Behaviour." For location and to reserve a seat call 743-9091.

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FRIDA~.

MARCH 18, 2005

PORTS

On the mark APald Ind lellie IIId SIlCClIS at CIS -PIe 28

sportS@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Curlers prepare for Canadian championships Jason Kennedy

championship game, captured their first OUA title since 1999-2000. The team has been consistent all year long \Xlarriors curlers are looking to achieve finishing second in theinvest division double gold at the 2005 ASHAM Ca\\1.th a 5-2 season record. nadian University Curling ChampiThe \1i;'arriors' men's team, having onships next week in Edmonton. The just squeaked into the playoffs with a men's and women's curling teams 3-4 season record, beat hea\1.ly-faearned the honour of being among voured Queen's University 8-4 to capthe 0 UA,representatives at the chamture their first OUA title since 1995pionships \\1.th decisive \\1.oS at the 1996. It was the third time in the OUA Championships in February. school's history that both teams won The Warriors men's team consists championships in the same season, of skip Daniel Sherrard, vice Ryan the last time being the 1995-96 season. Merrick, veteransecondSteveUtz,lead . TheASHAMCanadianUniversity Ryan Sayer and fifth Jeff Armstrong. Curling Championship ",111 consist of The much younger women's team a 10-team round robin fonowed by a features skip.tviaiikaBakev;rell,viceJackie playoff round. I t\\111 be interesting to Craig,secondLauraDowdall,leadJenna see how both \1i;!arriors curling teams Long and fifth Amber Gebhardt. . match up against the other top-ranked The W'arriorswomen's team, com- . Canadian varsity curling teams. ing off an impressive victory against the Western Mustangs in the OUA jkennedy@imprint.uwaterloo.ca IMPRINT STAFF

SIMONA CHERLER

Vice Ryan Merrick of the Warriors men's curling team prepares to throw a rock in an early season match against Laurier. Merrick and his team have advanced to the national championships.

Warriors have hill to climb James Rowe IMPRINT STAFF

The Warriors men's basketball teamis at the CIS Championships this weekend, looking to capture the second national title in the school's history. The lO-team toumamentis taking place March 17-20 at the Halifax Metro Centre which has been home to the event since 1988. The top six teams in the field were given byes into the quarter-finals while the bottom four teams inust play seeding matches to move on. \1i;laterloo, therefore, as the seventh seed, will have to win four games in four days in order to be crowned CIS champion. Overall, this \\111 be the W arrio~ tenth appearance at the championships where they have amassed a 12-12 record overall,includinga 1-3 record in championship games. All Warriors games in the tournament can be heard live via web castatwww.news-cast.com.

UW opened the tournament last night, Thursday, March 17,againstthe tenth-ranked St. Mary's Huskies. Results ofthe game were una~~~r press time. In facing the Huskies, Waterloo was up against the hometown team, who come into the toumamentoffan 11-9 regular season. St. Mary's has won four national championships in the past, with their last one conlingin the 19.98-99 season. With a \\1.0, the \,<;Tartiors would advance to play the second tanked Concordia Stingers in the quarter-finals who had a dominant season,. going 15-1 and winning the Quebec confetencechampionship over Laval. The overwhelming favourites entering the championships are the top ranked Carleton Ravens. The Ravens' are the two-time defending champions and have now won the OUA Championship three years running. In fact, the Ravens are currently riding

nationals in Halifax

a 75.-game regular season and playoff winning streak. The streak dates back to November 23, 2002, when the Ravens lost aroad game against L.aunmtian.. TheRavens",11l onceagain be led by third yea,r guard Osvaldo Jeanty, their leading scorer and thewinneroftheJack Donohue Trophy as the mostvaluable playerin each ofthe lasttwo CIS Championship games. Carleton's toughest competition could come from the team they just knocked offto become OUA Champions, the third-ranked BrockBadgers.. The Badgers enter the toumaJ:Ii.ent in top form, havingwon13 consecutive games beforelosing61-58 to the Ravens this past weekend. The game was in doubt until a three-point attempt, that would have sent the game into overtime, was missed at the buzzer. It would surprise nobody if Brock, ledbyOUA West and CIS Player ofthe YearKevinStienstra, were toqualify for the final. Their first match of the. tour-

nament will pit them against the the University of Ottawa Gee Gees. number six Victoria Vikes. These teams were also set to play a The Vikes come in as Canada West seeding game on Thursday night, \\1.th ~champions.~ "thewinneriOOvingmt~7 alsOtakeconfidence from the fact that. Despite the daunting task, the Gee theywere able to beat Catleton earlier Gees should not be discounted, as they this season in an exhibition garp.e, by a have played the Ravens three times this score of 56-55. year and have lost to their cross-town A team which could surprise the rivals by an average margin of just four powers from Ontario and Canada West points in those games. is the St. Francis Xa\1.er X-Men. The X-With such a deep field this could be Men, last year's finalists at the toumathe year,that somebody finally knocks ment, breezed through the regular seaoff Carleton with St. FX and Brock son with an 18-2 record en route to being the likely candidates to do so. beating St. Mary's for the the Atlantic The teams \vill be fighting for the CofIferencetitle. right to hoist the W.P. McGee Trophy, Another team which comes in on a awarded annually to the CIS Champihots1;reakis sixth-ranked Alberta. After ons since 1963. a mediocre regular seaso~ saw them finish at 12-8, the Golden Bears ripped jrowe@imprint:uwaterloo.ca off an impressive post-season run to punch their ticket for the big dance with the Canada West championship. The finaJ two teams in the field are the University ofBrandon Bobcats and

Presents

THIS WEEK IN

ATHLETICS

Scott had a greatf'ctlIon Friday evening at the as Championships hI Winn;peg. Taking charge in ' " race by holding off the chase effort of the rest of the field; Scott claimM the silver medal with a time of 8:23.05. Scott contributed 5 points to the team's 8 point finish, putting the Warriors in 12th place.

SAXON

ANDREA DUPONT, NORDIC SKIING Andrea had great results at the Canadian College and University Nordic Championships (CCUNC) in BC. Finishing fifth overall between her 5km classic, 10 km skate and sprint race. Andrea remained the top Ontario University skier ror this season. She was also named to the women's all-Canadian team (top 6 at (CUNe).

FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005

Men's CIS basketball championship preview

arleton Ravens HITOSHI MURAKAMI

From March 17-20, 10 teams will partake in the national championship, hosted at the Metro Centre in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Here are the teams and what you need to look for.

Conference MVP Philippe Langlois directs the offence apd sets up allCanadians Patrick Perrotte and Ben Sormonte.

(1) Carleton Ravens The Canadian Interuniversity Sport CIS top-ranked Carleton Ra~ens are defending their two-year reign as champions of the CIS tournament. After defeating Ottawa and Brock en route to their third straight Ontario University Athletics OUA championship, the Ravens' winning streak reached 75 strrught games in the OUA/CIS regular and post season. Head coach Dave Smart leads the team which includes standout players like guard 1\.fike Smart and CIS MVP OsvaldoJeanty, who holds an average 16.9 points per game.

(3) Brock Badgers Brock does it well both inside and outside, utilizing the strength of their senior players and using a balanced bench attack. Kevin Stienstra, the OUA MVP, i~ a staple down low; the Badgers rely on him for 20-plus points every night, as well as multiple trips to the foul line. Ken Murray, long-time head CQ~ch. has guided the number-two ranked team in the nation and hopes to repeat their national championship run of 1991-92.

Maureen Robinson, The Fulcrum

(4) St. FX X-Men The St. FrancisXavierX-Mencelebrateda victory at the Atlantic University Sport basketball final on :March 12 against Saint Mary'S. The AUS triumph-this was their fifth AUS crown in six years - assured the nationally fourth-ranked team a bye at the CIS Final 10 opening day and a top-six seeding. X-Men guard Garry Gallimore is undoubtedly the team's secret weapon with honours like Final Six 1\.ÂŁVP and AUS defensive player of the year under his belt. The

(2) Concordia Stingers In their first visit to the big dance since 2001, the Concordia Stingers are the smallest team in the CIS championship. But it's their speed and ability to execute before their opponents can react that has earned them their high ranking. The tournament's second seed hau a dominant 15-1 season - which ranked them behind Carleto~n only -and went on to win the Quebec title last weekend.

team's other top scorers are guards Zach Russell and forward Neil Macdonald.

Year and first line all-star Chtis Trumpy and CW Coach of the Year Craig Beaucamp.

Maureen Robinson, The Fulcrum

Mike Berry, The Martlet

(5) Alberta Golden Bears ''We're the team that nobody wants to face," said Alberta guard 1\.fike Melnychuk after the Golden Bears won the Canada West banner on March 5. And how true that is. Having upset Calgary and Saskatchewan on the road, stunning Brandon in overtime, and then trouncing Victoria in the Canada West championship game. the U of A heads to Halifax as a team that until March 1 hadn't cracked the CIS top 10 rankings all season. The dark horse in Halifax this year will be disguised as a Golden Bear.

(7) Waterloo Warriors The Waterloo Warriors bring a veteran presence to the CIS championship with seven players on the squad in their final two years of eligibility. With a strong back court presence in OUA first team all-star Graham J arroan as well as strength up front in second team all-stars Dave Munkley and Mike Sovran, the Warriors could surprise inHalifax.

Dan Plouffe, The Link

Rob Terpstra, The Brock Press

Chris O'Leary, The Gateway

(6) Victoria Vikes Hovering around the middl~ of the pack in the CIS top 10, the Vikes have had an astounding season. They ftnished second overall ",,>ithin the tough Canada West and ftrst in the Pacific Division. They defeated the UBC Thunderbirds in two straight games to make into the Canada West finals, but lost to Alberta in the gold medal game, coming away with silver. The team is led by recently-named Canada West Defensive Player of the

(9) Ottawa Gee-Gees They're going in as the number ~e seed and making their ftrst appearance at a national championship since 1993. But ask any of the GeeGees if they;re satisfied just going to Halifax and the answer is a resounding "no." The team will look for leadership from team captains Marko J ovic andAlexMcLeod, while relying on the production ofJermaine Campbell. To get to the championship, the Gees knocked off York on the road before losing to number-one Carleton in the OUA East final. Melan~ .Ho,

The. FpJr;.Iy,{n

Dan Micak, Imprint

Ranked ninth in the CIS standings, the Brandon Bobcats head to the CIS finals for their second year running. The Bobcats played Regina at the Canada West Final four in Edmonton, pulling off a 71--66 bronze medal win, with 31 points from top-rated guard Mario Joseph. The win earned them a ~lace at the Final 10 in Halifax. Although they must win four games in four days to claim the championship, the Bobcats hope to make up for-last year's disheartening defeat by UNB in the first round of the CIS finals.

(10) Saint Mary's Huskies SaintMary's struggled in an up-anddown campaign that saw them finish the regular season with a 11-9 conference record. An upset victory over the nationally tenth-ranked UCCB Capers qualified them as a wild card entry for the final 1O. The Huskies were led all season by Baltimore native-Jerome Goodman (18.1 points per game, 9.4 rebounds per game), Nelson Carvery (15.2PPG) andJonathan Thibault (13.6 PPG). The Huskies will be in tough as they enter the tournament as the bottom seed. Theywillneed to take advantage of the familiar Metro Centre confines and get strong games from Goodman, Carvery, and Thibault.

Maureen Robinson, The Fulcrum

Bill Hughes, The Journal

-(8) Brandon Bobcats

"The Snake" keeps his eyes on the prize ,,>

Arnald leaves his mark on CIS Track and Field Championships; Sepic sets UW varsity record in fifth place finish .. Steve Utz SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Known to his coaches and teammates as "the Snake" because of his ability .to sneak into the head group d1.lring the final stages of a race, veteran distance runner Scott Arnald lived up to his namesake during the 3000m race on March 11 at the CIS Championships hosted by the UniversityofManitobaatthe Max Bell Centre in Winnipeg. Holding within the pack for much of the race, Arnald made his move on the penultimate lap, challenging leader Kris~an Hunter of the host University

of Manitoba squad over the ftnal few hundred m~tres. Regrettably unable to prevent Hunter from earning his first ever CIS gold, Arnald nonetheless captured the \Varriors' mostsignificant medal in the last three seasons \\rith his silver medal stapding. The second-place ftnish provided the Watriors ",,>ith ftve aggregate points toward rpe total team standings and earned the hometown environment and businessmajol; UW Athlete of the \Veek honours. Amald's performance merely built on the similarly strong individual performancedelivered by fourth-rear arts student Andrew Sepic in the pentath-

Ion competition on Thursday, Sepic used personal bests in the high jump (1.97m) and the l000mrace (2:50.00) to help him accumulate 3382 points in the five-event challenge en route to rewriting his own UW record and placing fifth nationally. But Sepic was not alone in setting UW varsity records. Looking to avenge" at?- unfortunate baton drop 1n the 4 x 200m relay, the 4 x 400m team made some last-minute changes to get more speed out of their line-up. Team co-captain Shane Ferth moved to the opening position in order to give the Warriors a faster start while Drew Haynes con-

tribute"d the best time of the bunch with a time of 49.7 seconds in the third leg. The relay team's total time of 3:21.87 shaved a full second and a half off the previous record set earlier this rear and placed them fourth in their heat and sixth nationally. Overall, the performance of the nine U\~' athletes who qualified for the CIS Championships surpassed every expectation held by the coaching staff. The eight aggregate points earned by the team for medal placements and top ftnishes doubled last year's output and raised their"overall standing by six places to a ftnal position of 12th.

While it would have been naive to expect to challenge the perennial powerhouse University of Saskatchewan Huskies. who swept the men's and women's cumulative team events, the slim line-up of University of\Vater100 athletes did manage a third-place . finish after the ftrst day of competition .. This represents no small feat for a mostly veteran team who concluded several oftheir varsity careers with personal bests and other strong performances while continuing to integrate a more youthful core of sprinters.

- with jiles frolll UW Athletics

FRIDAY. MARCH 18, 2005

SLC gets ready to juggle

The view from upihere I mean W'!Y back. \'\'e were in a different climate. And you know what? I wouldn't have had it any other way. The cheap seats are far and away, the best place from which to see a game - a fitting description, by the way, considering you are bothfarand awqy from the action. But the view of I think I saw a basketball game last the game is almost secondary to the Friday night at the Air Canada Centre nosebleeds, where the people are real, in Toronto. the beer is cold and the seats are I know that about a dozen Imprint inexpensive - if not capped with friends and I packed into three cars snow. and made theless-than-desirable trek The cheap-seats experience is exdown Highway401 duringtushhour. actly that - an experience. It's imAnd I know my brother, one of the possible to appreciate a live game drivers, forked over ten bucks for a based on your view of the action, slice of parking in downtown T.O. especially when you're in a different area code than the playing surface. And I know we funneled into the arena, expecting to see the visiting Take my experience, for instance: I Atlanta Hawks take on the Toronto didn't even get to tummy head to see Raptors. But as far as actually seeing the far end of the court. But sura basketball game, I can't recall much rounded by a pack of hoops-loving friends in the fan-friendly (albeitviewof that happening at all. unfriendly) Sprite Zone, the seats Not without binoculars, anyway. We had a breathtaking view in didn't seem so bad. section 318, row 15 - tucked way After all, it's the people wh6 make back in the northwest corner of the the nosebleed sections so enjoyable arena, four rows from the rafters. Our -God knows it isn't the view. The seats wete so bad, wehadtolook4wn· 'section 31 8s ofthe world are happily at the scoreboard. Our seats were so void of fake-fan business people and bad, I suffered a bout of vertigo just deep-pocketed socialites, neither of climbing the stairs to get to them.. whom could tell Chris Bosh from Our sea~ were So bad, I'm still waitKris Kringle. The bestma.nia.cs~up ingforrnyears to pop. Wewere back. amongst the banners, screaming

instructions and vulgar criticisms until they are collectively hoarse. For courtside ticket holders, it has been a good game if a deal is brokered with adient. Forseasonedcheap-seaters,it has been.a good game if the coach gives Matt Bonner lots of court time - even ifhis fiery red hair is all they can see. And, of course, the universal appeal of the cheap seats is how chcip they are. My Raptors-Hawks ticket was cheaper than a date at McDonald's; the best 15 bucks I ever spent. Sure, the hot dog and beer I bought at the stadium nearly matched my price of admission, but for twoand-a-half hours of entertainment, you can't go wrong. The only thing that tainted my Friday night at the arena was the game's outcome. The Raptors seemingly did evetythingin their power to lose to the Hawks, eventually falling totheNBA'sworstteam 116-112in overtime. But despite the home team's loss, I had a blastin the nosebleeds. After my evening in section 318, I can see that the old adage is true - there's nothing like the view from the cheap seats. Just don't forget your binoculars. amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Dan Micak IMPRINTSTAFF UW kendo successful at Toronto The University of Waterloo Kendo Club had an excellent showing at the 2005 University of Toronto Kendo Tournament during the weekend of March 5 and 6. Club members Ryo Yasumura and Harry Kim both carne out above.80 other competitors to make it to the finals in the ftrst and second degree black belt division. Yasumura took the gold, while clubmate Kim settled for silver. UW Kendo Club founder Taro Ariga also placed second in the third degree black belt division. Waterloo's success was not limited to the individual competitions, as Waterloo's A team won a medal as well in the team event. The team, consisting of Chiharu Hao, Man Kwan Ma, Yasumura, Kim and Ariga, won the bronze medal after a nattow defeat to the national cham~ pions from Etobicoke in the semifmals.

Juggling Club to host 13th annual festival The UW Juggling Club is hosting their l.Jth annual juggling festival on March 19and20inStudentLifeCentre's Great Hall. Throughout both days, jugglers from around Ontario and the north eastern United States will meet to play juggling games, attend workshops and compete in various juggling competitions. A free public performance will begin at 7 p.m. on March 19 in the C;reatfIall.~{oreinformationisavail

able by contacting the UW Juggling Clubatuwjugglingdub@gmaiLcom. dmlcak@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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