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architecture students problematic Facilities, bus accessibility up in the air as architecture moves to Cambridge Laura Katsirdakis IMPRINT STAFF

When UW's School of Architecture moves to its new Cambridge facility this fall, it will give architecture students the larger wOx:kspace they so deSperate1yneed, butitwillalso spawn newconcems furstudents.Although theywillpayforall

viewed for the November 29, 2002 edition of Imprint, it was reported that, "The Cambridge campus will have recreation facilities, lounges, areas for socializing, exercise facilities and residence for first-year students and some upper year students. He also stressed that there will be a shutde bus running back and forth from the UW campus to the Cambridge location several times a day."

Haldenby has now confirmed that the Cambridge campus will not have residences, and the possibility ofexercise facilities are still being negotiated.

'We had to confront the fact that there wasn't enough time," he explained, adding that he had received confirmation in

.. ~e'li have to 路路>wait and see . how it unfolds."

Bram and Nathan (holding the banana) enjoy their lunch outside of the math and computer building. The two are part of a contingent of school kids participating in the Engineering Science Quest day camp organized jointly by the engineering and the science faculty.

False alarms set off sirens for profs Michael L. Davenport IMPRINT STAFF

Imagine this scene: an unusually quiet room is filled with students. The only sound to be heard is the scratching of pencils on paper. Everyone is visibly uncomfortable - maybe because it's too hot, but it probably has more to do with the fact everyone's writing an exam ... andthenthe fire alanngoes off.

Almost any student orprofwill say that the false fire alanns have something to do with exams; however, when the director ofUW Police, Al Mackenzie, said, "It's all to do with exams," itlends some credibility to the idea.

Inthelastyearandahalf,there'sbeen a notable increase in "wilfull" false fire alarms-whiletherewere23wilfulfalse alarms in 2002, therewere 44wilfull false alarmsin2003. There's no denying that these false alarms are concentrated

around exam time. Another suspiciously recurring factor in these false alarms: most of them are in the math building.

During the month of April, a fire alarm was fallaciously pulled five times, three of those times were in MC ''It's a serious problem," says Shirley Thomson, executive assistant to the dean of math. There are also instances where smoke detectors seem to go off without apparent reason, which could be student sabotage. According to Thomson, the faculty of math is lookingatwaystoreducethenumberoffalse alarms, including keeping all students to the end of the exam or not allowing studentstorewri.tetheexamift:qeyleave before the exam has been interlupted.

Aninterestingtwistis caused by the fact every professor treats these firealarm interruptions differently. ''I was doing very well on the midterm," said

JlvfarkToivanen,a CS student. Toivanen explained that his math 235 professor didn't even gradewhatwas done on the midterm before the alarm, effectively wasting the time and effort of every student in the class. Other professors will simply resume the exam after reentry into the building is permitted, which causes a whole different set of problems.

There are reasons MC is vulnerable to this type of fraud. 'We don't have nearlyas manyinthePAC, for example, because it's more difficultto getaway," said Mackenzie. The sheer number of exams written in the math buildingalso skews the numbers.

Other remedies being considered areholdingfewerexamsin the MC,and implementing fire-alarm pull stations that cannot be tampered with casually.

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ready for this fall.

'We do have very a harder time uti- . goodloungefucililizing them from . ties."

The shuttle the satellite cam- Rick Haldenby bus is another pus in Camdirector of the school of problematic issue. bridge. architecture According to According to Haldenby, there John Andersen, will be some form Feds vp internal, a of transportation but it is not yet fer students have already raised conknown what it will be or how often it cerns over how architecture students will operate. 'We don't know yet willaccess services. Andersen said services such as the food bank and Fed what the need is [for transportation]."

In terms of student health servbuses will likely not be available unices, Haldenbyconfirmed architecture less architecture students make the students will need to make their way trek back to main campus. back to UW campus to access them.

"Students aren't going to take ad'We will try to provide the best vantage ofservices ifthey're faraway," situation we can. We'll have to wait Andersen said. He also noted that the and see how it unfolds and we will option of setting up a Feds office to have to be flexible and imaginative," offer such services at the Cambridge he said. office would likely be too cosdy.

When Rick Haldenby, director of the school of architecture was interSee ARCHITECTURE, page 5

CHRIS HUGHES

mdavenport@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

The university's new architecture building in Cambridge.

2

FRIDAY, JULY 16,2004

If you ware Bllluirreloa campus, what would you do? lay Donella 111m1Rll bill EvIII 6

"I'd chase people on campus and'" their feet."

"fd go spy on all the hot chicks."

Stephanie Aquilina

Steven Amorim

4A environmental studies

2A biology

"Fall into a garbage can and diel"

"I would eat nuts."

Daniel Dharmasouya

2B philosophy

Across 1. Snoopy, the Red Baron and Billy Bishop 5. Currently, UW students Erin, Jason, Nathan and Steven share this last name 10. Banana loving imitation 14. What page comes after the cover?

15. Rub out 16. Horse hair 17. Mexican fast food 18. Atomic element number five 19. A wild and lusty bacchanalia 20.Confused. tap-dance skill leads to playful sexual behaviour 23.Pastureland found in Avonlea 24. Energy unit 25. Inflated sense of pride 26. A key component of this text 28. Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit.. .!

30. Vote in favour 32. Barter 34. Durable hardwood used for路 shipbuilding 35. Account inspection 37. Mystical sign 38. Jumping race horse 41. Digressions

Down 1. Social insect 2. Fire alarms ring in this manner 3. Expressive punctuation mark 4. A roofed colonnade made from oats 5. Suspend from school 6. Establish an illegal claim 7. Almost a meter in length 8. We'd tell you but you're not smart enough 9. How the Americans would spell renege .~.~G#eek ;~\;\;.1#)3"J+;<.nt*"'toUs.~. . . . tronomy 11. Spawn of IDe moIDer 44. UN labour organization parliaments 45. Never happened to Cristie's 12. Fostering good will Mousetrap in London 13. In the past, a"dairy-maid 49. Simple explosive 21. For each and every 50. Short-tailed wildcat 22..Camp bed 52. Flat cooking vessel 23. Room to rent 53. Extreme anger 27. Barbie's beau 54. The blacksmith o~ the sil- 29. Lived day by day versmith 31. Beethoven's ninth 59. Player piano 33.

She sparked the 61. God maker Montgomery, Alabama bus 64. Draftiest boycott 65. Intermingle 35. The eastem end of the church 36. Hoodlum, punk or goon 66. Japanese emperors 67. Rocks put into a pile 39. Forever and always

.

40. How to spell this clue's final letter 41. Garlic bulb 43. Having eaten 46. How a frog hits a Mac truck 47. Marble shooter 48. Relating to an anode 51. Ohio city, Greek for hospitality 53. Cite 55. Walk the line 56. As well 57. Marina for short 58. New Zealander

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Samuel Moisau .

2B sociology

"Stay away from the cooks at village."

"I'd fly out of a tree and maul arts students. ,.

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Dan Sherrard

1B computer science

1B Systems Design

Tikker Singh

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''Tills is Preservation Month. 1 appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta ." -Jan. 28, 2000.

REPVREES

"I don't have to accepttheir _ _ _ _ . 1was trying to convince those college

''We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the " - Sept. 6, 2000.

CREAM SPAKE

"Reading is the _ _ _ _ for allieaming" SCABIS

"Ifthe _ _ and bariffs are tom down, this economywillgrow" - Jan 2000.

students to accept my NTSTEAN

." - Feb 23, 2000.

Unscramble the mixed-up letters, one letter to each square.

Each unscrambled word completes the quote abol//l it - be warned: it's not what the word should be but rather what George W. Bnsh thought it was.

Take the ktters in the shaded squares to complete the final quote.

Mar. 28, 2000.

Final Quote Sometimes, Dubya just needs to invent a word:

"My education message will

"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply _ _ _ _ kids through?" - Feb. 16,2000.

LUCKESS

STIRRERE

"1 understand small business _ _ _ . 1 was one." WHROTG

Feb. 19,2000.

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''We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation _ _ _ or hold our allies ." - Jui 21, 2000.

HETOILS

amongst all parents."

- New York Post, Jan 19, 2000 ~

Last issue's word jumble contained an error - the first word shottld haw had the }irst box shaded rather than the last. I apoIOfi~ for the error.

inll Fedl .1, plPIle delill pilI - pile 5 !ld",

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Andrew Telegdi continues in service of W, Waterloo region

Universities and Colleges

Christine Loureiro IMPRINT STAFF

Since his days as Feds president from 1973 to 1975 to his recent re-election to the House of . Commons, Andrew Telegdi, the sometimes outspoken Member of Parliament and University ofWaterloograduate, has had an active hand in shaping the face of Kitchener-Waterloo's business and academic landscape.

The former Hungarian refugee has along history ofservice in Waterloo region. Hewas the first UW graduate elected to city council (ill 1985).

Along with John English, of UW's history department, he was the first UW graduate elected to the House ofCoffilIlons in Ottawa (ill 1993-and he's been there ever since). As a student, TelegdisecuredfundingforthefledglingWPIRG in 1973 and saved primary daycare funding. Oh yeah, and remember that tent city students 0t:~ ganized in 1974 to protest Waterloo's poor housing record? T elegdi played a large hand in organizing that too.

Telegdi entered politics simply because he loved problem solving. He started as a volunteer peer counsellor, helping studenB "cope ",'ith. fairly mundane problems," he said. From there, he sat on the Campus Centre (the former Student Life Centre Board) before hise1ection to Feds.

Tclegdihas spent his political life bringing attention to issues central to students, and also to the region whose econemic livelihood is integrally connected to the three post~secondarY institutions it houses.

As a student, Telegdi often raised quite a stir with his emotionally Charged attempts to raise . student interest in issues such as housing and enumeration. His statements published in the then-student newspaper the chevron were often Recently re-elected Kitchener-Waterioo controversial and have contributed to Telegdi's Fedslegacy.

MP Andrew Telegdi (above) has defi"Students are niggers because they want to nitely changed a fair bit from his 1973be niggers," he told the chevron in the December 75 Feds president incarnation (right), 6, 1974 issue, after a low student voter turnout although the outspokenness and the in that year's municipal election. ambition definitely remain.

Telegdi made many vigorous pleas to students to encourage enumeration, angering felment, commercialization andindependentunilow student politicians, who believed that the versity-basedinstitutions are areas hewouldlike Feds president had no role in the politics of the to continue developing, student population.

UW's spin-off ,?oqJorations and institutes, Notably, Telegdi was also asked to stay away like Research inMotion and the Perimeter Instifrom Remson College by then-principal John tute, said Telegdi, are excellent examples of the Towler. ''It's aRenisonaffairandifyoustickyour success ofgovernment programs. nose in we'll bounce you out," Telegdi says he ''We have [research and development] and was told by Towler after inquiring as to whether .we have to have accessibility as our key factors," a meeting for Renison students was open to he said, citing the creation of employment opmembers of the UW community. Telegdi then portunities forgraduates as one ofthe key factors published a press release ofhis conversation with in thelong-term success ofuniv~tyspin-offs.

Towler. ''We can't do a better job than investing in our In Telegdi's first throne speech in 1993, he, post-secondary institutions. There is no better English and Peterborough MP Peter Adams example {of success] than the University of noticed the absence ofpost-secondary education Waterloo." as a priority for the Liberal government. In Telegdi also continues to address issues, response, they started the Liberal caucus Task .such as housing and enumeration thathave been Force on Post Secondary Education, a body that important to students in Waterloo over the last works to increase access to and funding for post30 years. secondary education and studentloans and still In anintervieww¢hImprintthis week, Telegdi exists today. said "Housingwill cOntinue to be a problem for "Accessibility is a veryimportantpart ofwhat students and society as a whole. we See as a huge priority," said Telegdi about "[But] there's been quite an evolution since future educationaiinitiative for his government. my days," he continued ''Wedidn'thaverooniHe added that funding forresearch and developinghouse bylaws and fire prevention was not as

Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

•

The University of Westem Ontario has pled guilty to infractions under the Liquor ·Licence Act OfOntario dating back to last year.

The infractions, which took place at an oncampus estabIishmenton September 19,2003, include serving alcohol to two minors as well as aninebriated patron. A Justice ofthe Peace slapped UWOwith a $250 fine and the Alcohol · and Caming Commission of Ontario has suspended the school's liquor licence for this year'sOrientation Week, whichmeansamighty dry introduction for UWO's frosh this fall.

. Canada In an attempt to keep at-risk youth in Torontoawayfromviolentandcriminalactivitt, the McGuinty government has created a $500,000 grant that will be used to give 300 young people summer employment for four weeks. The jobs will consist ofgeneral labour, office work and retail and hospitaIitypositions at$8/hour. Theprogram, which targets youths inToronto's Malvern,Jane/Finch andJamestown areas, is part of Toronto mayor David l'vIiller's COJ.?1l1unitySafety Action Plan, which . prioritizes fighting gun violence in the city'.

•

A couple who won tens of thousands of dollars playing baccarat at Casino EdrnontononMondaywere shotin the pa!king lot by two men as they left. The couple had declined a security escort to their truck, and as they approached their ride a Ford Mustang pulled up and two men grabbed at the woman's purse. She was shot in the buttock and her boyfriend waS shot in the leg in the struggle; . both are hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries. The robbers drove off with the purse, unaware that only $150 was inside.

International

•

COURTESY fEDS

good as now."

The issue of student voting has also been a hot topic forTelegdi over the years. He belieyes that students don'tvote because "Student issues tend to be student issues and pretty dominant onlywhileyou're a student. Itgets alittle frustrating, but on the same token wehavea pretty active Young Liberals club on both campuses.[UW and WtlfridLaurier University]."

As for the future of his evolving role in Kitchener-Waterloo's political community, Tclegdi said, ''I quite enjoy what I do." cloureiro@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

•

An Iranian man backed out of a suicide · pact with his new wife and immediately turned himself in to the police last weekend.

The couple had been married just two days when, overcome with guilt for havingengaged in pre-marital sex, they agreed to kill themselves together. However, after helping his wife hang herself, the man changed his mind and instead sought police help in the northeastern province ofKhorasan. Pre-marital sex is taboo in the Islamic state, where some girls must take a virginity test before they can wed.

The dirtywords ofDick Cheney live on!

After the U.S. Vice-president sternly told senator PatrickLeahyto "go fuckyourself" onJune 22, Los Angeles artgalleryownerSeanBonner designed a slew Ofproducts for the Web store Cafepress.com that includes T-shirts,mouse . pads, thongs and even infant wear and dog wearwithnewlyminted anti-Cheney slogans.

The slogans include ''It's long overdue: go fuckyourselves! Bush Cheney'04" and ''Dick Heads, here for America, every fucking day."

Said BonnerofCheney's outburst: ''I thought it was funny." mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint news'

4

A peanut butt~ra.nd jam session

to help the homeless Grab a garbage bag and clean it like you ~eanit!

Warning: .cheap ·housesfor stude,nts

~

'. The second-ever "Get Up! Clean Up!" event will be held on Tuesday; July-21.

Mark Stratford .

The event calls upon volunteers from UW

andthecommunitytopitchinand~elpbeau:tify'

IMPR.INTSTAFF

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UW 'religie)us groups come together ..

Feds inconjuncti6n with the WilfridJ.aooer· . to feed the homeles~ . . 100.

Jewish Student Association, Muslim Stu. Feds Presid~~Becky Wroecommented that. LastweekI wen~ shopping fora place to rendt' dent Asstlclation and Waterloo Christian Felthe city is. ~ care of all the supplies, so. . turnsout that there are still many houses avail10Wshipwillalljoinforcesnextweektofeedour courteous sttidentvolunteers need bringnoth-- . able. Moreover,minyofthe landlords are former . ." ~ ing but themselves. ''The city is providiqg uS or even current students. This got me thinking city's homele.ss.

The three UW collectives invite all students, ~thgarbagepickers,gloves,garbage bagsaswell' ~boutthe pms arid cons ofbuying a house staft\md fl\ca1tyto help them make peanut butter. as aloeation to dr9P nffthe garbage to be picked instead of renting i t . · · and jam sandwiches that will later be taken to . up late,r;' saidWroe.. . . .•..

Buying a house to live in is often a great idea hnnieless shelters in the Kitchener-Wat~loo The Wateri()oare~ that has been chosen for ~ ifyoucan affordh. Itisthe realization of the . and CalnJ>ridgeareas. , cleanin,gis the arelj; bOUQd,ed: by both sides ()f ancient human dl:eam for a ;'00£1ulso makes The eventwill take place on WednesdllY,July Lester Street, both sides of Albert Street and in . . . a lot ~f financi,a1. sense:Stippose yoti buy a 21 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m, in the SLC's Multi- betWeen ColumbiaAvenueancl: University Ayhouse for .$200,000 with a d~ payment of purpose Room. Students can also donate non- .' ~ue. '1'hiS areawas chosen becauseltis ad~sely $10,009 atld take amprtgagelor the'rest. Re- perishable .food items fot the shelters at this populated stude.Qt housing area that will playa. cently, house prices Mve been tisw.g dramati~ location ana time. "'" sizable. role when the housing p-roposal resur': " cally. Yo.ur house co~d l?eworth $230,000 after "lielpin:gthe less fQrtutiate is anitltegralpart' faces this Sepj:enibet~ which; oftourse, makes one year (\vith sigtiificantincreases thereafrer). ofeach ofqur religions,'? reads a statement from.. . it all the more import:aQ.t that students help out.

After paYing some $1 0,000 tOr the mortgage the organizers. "By combiniIig our effo~s and . Councill& Mark Whaley, whoseridihgliesWithin you have essentially d01abled your investrhent! . Notbid, <;onsid.enng th'.ltprdfit()n yo'Ur own working together towards this goal, we feel that the atell,m question, is also on board. we can re~chmore people. .;' • "Get Up! Clean Up!"wiUiun:from4 to 6p.rti.~ >. hOfue IS 'tax-free. ( ". ....

"Since there have also been a Jot of hate.: on July 27; afterWards, l'eds an9. WLUSU will ' - According to The EconOmist, from 1997 to. motivated incidents in our 'Community lately;)t . 'oho~t a, barllecue with free food and. prizes for ' 2004 fuehouse price index iri Canada hasris.en . js espeCially important at times like this to come ,volpnteers...

•by 30 per cent; In high;.d,emand places like To. / . ronto or Waterloo things lla'ge been even better. together while working towards the common ~()(~dSLtl1~s~ll1l!tr:~ ":'i:·'~~tf;E' \.",~,q~tf9!,~i£!lPrj~~, d~.ca·, 'Elsewhexe in",thewo.rld, (iseSha,w been truly astronomical. It's been 53 percentin theU.S., 63 per cent in Sweden and a whopping 116 per cent in BriUlin. .. c, So you can live in yo:ur house andevertrtlnt ·the rest of it to other students for some'$1,000 ·it mort.th. This woUld neatly cover the mortgage . paymen.ts.· Wouldn't dlls be grell,U Generations

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FRlDAY,JULY16,2oo4

in the ~eal estate market is far faster than the grqwthin the income ofCanadians. This cannot " continue forlongperiods oftime, even in a small place. At some point the houses will be~oine so expensive that. the rent will no IOrigerbe ableto cover the mortgage payments and maintenance.

Curren,tly, .the monthly payments ort a new $200,000 house are over $1 ,000 a month. Thus, ifyou buy a$200,000 and rentitout there will be little moneyleftto cover the maintenance.

Ui1less yOur student renters sudderuy become rich(rememberthestoryaboutthesnowballin hell?),you are in aright !lpot as alandlord.

There are ~ther reasons t<;> expect houses to cool. The Bank ~f Canada (which controls the . 'costs efmortgages) should start making them more expensive soon. Iftheinterestrates on the cheapest mortgages rise fromits current 3.15 per , cent to amore reasonable 4 to 5 per cent, monthly paymentswillshoot up by 30 per cent ot more. . Thatwoulgmakemanynew houses in Waterloo .unsellable.Consequently, prices will fall- to~ getherwith the fortunes of thepeople woo own ' them.

Waterloo is an unusual place and the landlords here might be spared this tate. Yet, even if the value of the houses remains afloat, landlords may~tart to have ttoilble finding tenants. There are many new houses being built rapidly while . the supply ofhome-seeking stUdents is increasing 9i1lyslowly. By all the laws ofeconomics this -will cause prices to start falling. For example, I have heard offour guys rentinga fully furnished . hOlJse:{o/,~e s~er ~or$?O~m0!lth;~cJ:i; utilities included. One of my own friends has fOUl)d a sweet $300/mpnth all-inclusi~e' deal, This IS great' for sttidentsbut sucks for the owners.

The situation is widespread. During my own _. house searching, most of the placesI have visited had empty gas bills during last .summer. Some

hom~

ofKraftDinner~eatingstudentspayingoffyour

oft;heho~escu#entlyhavelessthanfull()ccu-

mortgage! Don'teven let your conscience tr6u~ bie you! After all, by investing in hou~ing for students you are helping make sure. that all stridentshave a place to live. It might not be ' particu1arlycheap,butitloesn'tco~tacentt6us -,thetaxpayers'. . . ,That being s~d, invest4tginreal estate is like playingwith fire. For one tIUng;houseprices can fall. When this happens, instead~.of making $20,000 on your $200,000 house you inightlose as much ormore. It's better to gamble in Casino Niagara;,atleastyoucaimotlosemorethanwhat you putin. Such a reversal would be abreakin the trend ofrecent years. However, economic analysis makes it very likely. For ~nething, the growth

pancy. Barring another,double cohort year it's not going to get anyberu:r..

For. those who rent, these ate great . times. Accordiqgtothe UniversityofWaterloo's own statistlcs~our school is short 350 students for September out of the 5;600 new students itwan~. This is in spite ofthe overall IQwering 'of admission' averages. The administratton might even be letting rooms in thevil!ages for the fall term. So~if you (ire negotiating rent for next year ietnind yourprospectivelandlord that some high-quality university dorms, . havevacancies this year. a~utfrBind@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

And" the .'winnerof the election is ~ ... nobody!, .' . Canada's feder~ voter tUrnout sets a record low .polls, 36.7 percent opt~ for the Uberals. 'The Co~ervativesgamered29.6percentofthevotes, the NDP t~ok 15.7 per cent and 12.4 per cent · According to the CBC, voter turno.ut in the wenttothe Bloc Qu6becois. .

The Green Partyscnred their best result ever, recent federal election waS lower than in any national dection since.Confederation in 1~67. netting4.3per cent ofthe vote. Thisreptesented '60.5 per cent ofregistered Canadians voted this an, enormous spurt ofgrowtb, beating their time, shooting down eXpectations that the tight 2000 election vote total by oyer450 per cent..The ·race between the Liberals and the Conservatives newly fot;med Conservaties garnerecl17A. per . would bring more Canadians·6ut to the p~lls.· , cent fewervotes than the fonner PCs and Alliance Not voting Wa,s the most popular choice had comJ>ined in the last election. , amongCanadiahs. with 39.5 per cent choosing to abstain. Among those who did make it to the mjohnson@impriht.uwaterloq.ca ·Mark Johnson

AMPRINT STAFF

Imprintoews

FRIDAY.JULY 16, 2004

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Fedsseekstudent opinions on"UW .dental plan these findings alone, a ~ental plan is reallyin the' mOl:e expensive..,' students' bestinterests. If they decide to green''There will defulltely be a 'comprebi!nsive questism in the Peds sur-, lightthe idea, the results,will be presented at a council meeting in August, and ifthe response vey in September( he .fromcouncili~positive, an 'open biddingpJ;ocess added. willbegininwhichdentalcompaniesll.'reinVited

· Mark Stratford I~PRINT STAFf

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• person one and the online one separately so that if there's anY diserepancywe can easily see if the . online re.sultswereplayed around;;'th. We have theSe practices in place."

While the·students', will dictate the' most impo~t ci:iteria in a,dental plan,MzaaI i~ fa<;USedon threeareas~the servicethecompany proVides, the price and the credibility. ''These three thiflgs are the main things we are lookirlg' for right now. We want [the company] to be . studeritfriendly. We will gowith a coptpanytfutt halancesallthese." .. , ' , "'Th,e GraduateSrtidents Association is seek-

S9meUW students may have noticed a, ~urvey <?Peratingon,thefe.9:s Weh siteearlierthis month iuq\.liringas towhether'sroderits have dental pl;1ns and~f they~ for<:ed to pay forsigtiificant c~efital\vork.The surve.yisthe titst stepin what rna,eyentuaJly becqme~a Feds dental plan.

It;wasor~ed(fot)l two-day period during JQly5 ru:;!d ~ togaugest'uqent ' opinjoas as to:whether they need or are ~ fund such aphm. . , '''This [survey] is Pure!yto as"inggrl!.dstUdentinputastowhethertheys~ould , seSs the student o<:eds, just to pursue a dental planas well, althoughMzaaI seeifthe studentsactuallywilnt assured that the two, proposals, are 'separate. it,>.' said Feds yp admin and ' ,"Again, we'll have to'wrutaild see. WhoknO'ws, linanc::eRaveelAfzaal. '1fth,ey mayhe we'll endup beingpartnetswiththe GSA on th,is ifittums outthatwe have similli.t criteria .wintit,thenweWillhave tosee if we :;;h6uld gothro~h' the', "an,d we feel that 'both 'the undergraduate stu-' J,lfliver~i1Y,whiChplansaie we l also wants den,ts andthe graduate students both wailt ~!WJg.at,b~llusemaybesome6fthe ~"stud¢nts to , &ntal plans. Buqve can go ahead and do this Stiia~~jUstWap.t a,~si~ plan ot:J:ll!1ybetJt: ' , ,ktloWth~U:aIlpre.; WiJ;bout them and they can do it without us." $tudentS~~a'biggeiplan. This is jusrtosee CllutiOfiShave'beeii The Peds derital plan would mostIikely be ifthe stud,ellts lltefoveredalreadybyadentaJ. ,'taken wprevent separate from the universitY's stUdent supplepIan, througg their Parents oranoth~source;~' , ~k~ sjltyey fe'sults. 'lIlentary health plafl, but that also remainslo be

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· Th~ptop<>saIofaUWdentalplan~s,o\\fof <.~:p'Ser'~s:ceo·n'thaes·s~ell·a:,_~.dEOn~ee"," decid ed.·' pres;de'n'tNadirBudh .. 'Y"'aru· o~.nl.~'ed ' SA G Afiaal's,Plll-tfortn' positions in the mostre'&;rt .,.. . .

U1Wll, '" . " ,. ~O~-, Fe4s ~ectiop, and ,the survey;,corilesafter'heto present " .tb.erewereaiotofcotketrlsdmt two, on:-Campu~ forums where students can' ieCl':iv~encoutage~tQn theidea from Shanand, explain'· anyonecotild'justgoOnllntrand,,' ,djsCus~dieirt;oll'cen::ts forthedentalplanidea;the ~9p'W~ifetlsvP:~andfinance 2000~01. their dental pack- , fill b\lt'thesuiV'eY:TO~i 2Q"~df:W1li~wasReIdonJUIt14. Thesetondwill • $:Q:;w;}>lanshave bdmmads:Withc()~ope~tion ages. Three or f o u r ' r l t n e ; ; Fdf ,th~ &iilihe '~ephtcebn Tllesday,July 20 froiD. 3!30 to 5:30 from the StUdentcareNe~ork, a group ,that ,co1Ilpanies will be chosen ,.,,', .,' version we b'adan jp p,m. in theGreen Room at the Grad House. .work$to seCure medical personnelfor litudint, ,.Jgrftitther~ua~onand theirdental:phmswill' . address CheckWehad~caseinw~ch some, "Evetyoheisen~ouraged toattetid. '.W

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will also be disclosed at this rime. . .

'1 wouldliketo~eehowmanystudents want.

we went with them.We are un.del: nCI olll!lg.illlcln togo'Wi~~ew~1:he future," said, Afzaal: Instead,fieds:\yill;te~~~data from the two-day dental survey carefully to seeif,ba&ed on .

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osthulilani-esou,rces aAd stl:ldentsetvice~;thL ,theirbUs}'s~edules." " ......... ' . ' probl~lIlortj9-Warchitecture students will access' . '. FaridNoufa;ily;atiex~tivefrom:t4!!W3ter- . t)W !I~Sis Stillupihtheak,Scottc9n'firine,l, looArchitectureStUden.tAsSOci~tiPt~J~hehas· . that architecture shidentS would not be given a been .in4igdtsSiqn With .both 'ffie~:Fedt~: tefundfot,~tes,theYfw~d have difficulty Haldenby about ~esitl:lation.He n6te4'h~tli accessUlg, rathel;, the plan to bus them in to, were quite helpful. ''Wtththeuniversi.tyi(skirid. ~ain campus ifservlces.are required.' . of touch and go," he added; .. .,.

"Ai"chitectu.re is big enough to have its . .oWn serVices .. ,[and] there isn't eno~htDoney iaura@impdnt.uwaterloo,ca 0

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Bill C-250 protects gay men and women,by censotingwhat other Ca~ nadians can say about them and threat-' "" ens government action against those who should dare speak their minds. It Bowis it possible that\Veknowhe dQesn'tFerrierqualify? Apparentlyyou When Tiger Wopds 'competes at a cOulghave been taken directly from will re-offend -'- he has said SQ him- h.ave to be convicted ofa cl:iine that toUrnament, he and the other com. Orwell's' 1984, but it is happening self - yet we let him. walk out of carriesasen~enceof1 Dyearn Qr more. petitors play unsler a common set of right now in Canada. As.an amend, prisqn and can do little butwarn J:esi-- ~ .' Becauseofthatlittledet;ill,he can't . rules.AsanAftican-Ameticanofmodment to an already existing section of dents in the area? . "~, be kept in il!il· est b~ginnings, he has attain:ed die thecrirninalcodedevotedtotJaralyzing Apparentlythe-Corre@onalServ. As it turns out, we've been given a . startls of world-clas'S gOlfer through free speech, Bill C250 is just thetip of ,ices of Canada could do nothing betwo-year teprieve. He ended up back unfettered' competition .~in .other the socialist iceberg .umed atthe decause he had senred his fuji sentence' behind bars less than' 24 hours aftet professional golfers. That is because sttuction of pe~onalliberties. and they no longer had ,1egisliLtive ,beingr~easedwhenhepleadguiltyt() the great leaders of the past changed For obvious reasons, many pun~ We ill have ambitions in life. Forauthority"over~. LegisliLtiveauuttering a death threat. . our laws so that they would apply .. ditsconsiderthe-billtobeanattaCkon someofusitis to befue best atout job thority'.myass..

After his most recent aqest, Ferrier equaJIytoeveryone.the Catholic Church. As an agnostic, and achieve greatness in our chosen . Policesl!-ythatwhilehe'wasinptison, ... said in referenc;e to the media, "get The concept ofequa!itY is at the sociiillyprogressive in~vidual, the fleld:Forothersitis flnfl happiness . Ferrierrefu~ed to.participatein anyre-. ~~rilto explain: how I'm supposed to heart of socially progressive thinking. establishment of organized religion .and Io~e. For ~tleast one~f us, itis to . habilitatl.on programs or tteatment fo.r . ,live out there."He also informed the It is about the acceptance of other . can sOII;1etimes make my blood boil. be Canada's mostptolific serial killer. . sexualofferj(lers.Piroonme; butwhy judge that" ... the media have been beliefs, cultures and ideas; no matter Howev:er,inyetanothershow:ofirony, MartinFemeris a 31-year-oldman is this option for him?' I am all about .reportiJJ.g a lot ofthings. A lot of itis how intolerable or how far from the Liberal policy has transformed my old' who has. ~pent over h~fhis life' maintaining the rights and freedoms' wr~ng." .' status' quo; But its ideolOgical pioenemy, the' socially conservative . prison due to mote than 60,convicofCa:rui~sbutwhyisn'tttea1li1enta .

In the past few days, I have.tead neerswouldnotrecognizeitsmodem Church,intomynewfriend,avaliant tions. Just so there is no confusion as condition 6fhis release?Heis adanger~plings-Q~eabo~Fenier'sJaCk ~quivalent.Rather·than simplyensur- - defender offree speech. to what type ofci:ilninal Ferrieds, ~ ous, repeat offe~der~dw:e:JetJ:lim. of privicy:ag.d t¥~ ~~ tJiedia over~that 'everyone ispliLyinglJy-the I do nQtln any way support the , conVl.·. .ction..s'" in.dud.".Jti·,P.... ·at.·s.o.l1 an. d ' cllOose whether or noihe to, stepped its bopnps, by ~xte1);&ifely am'<'" rules Ie'"';';l<>torshll"'c'statt;edto ··'ri..Uich's sooan.r"reD1'essive'· think ,assault.Beis saying that .recelve while in pi'isgrHor he will kill again,he witnts~to become· '< tap<;.at,ld.ll,ttemptedlliurder?And thei:l .whexe he: ~ul'.ihe and.informing a pliLYers.< . . " prove ofwhaty~u say, butI willdefend ' Ca:nada~s most prolific ~erialkilleratJ.d let hitn go? I don't getit. .. ' . hotel where he wauttempting to stay When we promote equality; we to the death your rightto say it:" . has beenlahell~p afiin~blepllYcho-' .' In(:anada, if 'YQua1:~ liLbe~ed a· . oErus ,identity. I would suggest that need to make st)re thatwearepromot_ In other words, how can we regtl- .; path by. at l~as;t;9P~d~c:tor.Fcirrlel:.~~usoff~d~,foui~erui·in-E!lPi¢l:.s!~~ed6V:~n!?m!!Q,fWs~WIl" ing" equality ot,o}ipo.rltiniry. Tiger ·latesomethingc~edfosp~~?Utlhltn~,ilaStVvice asked for longer, " definite jail term. To qualify, the'indi~ . The .qu~s~on ,be~es, w~endoes Woods, forexampie,is clearlya better less everyonecanspeak£redy,ih"eplay-' prlst;nsentences. Despite this, Ferrier vid~ must;show one of ~~f,oUow- the rightofthe public to ~e ~f?rm~ golferJ:han me.l'heblack:rightsp:tove- in~ field is not leVjek If we. had,; ttg~:,

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case is one of those times. Without a. douQt. editqr@rmprint:'liwaterloo.ca

Chmch woUld have the right to speak out against the gay community. It is the price we pay to be free: gays ciUi openly criticize the Churthanp the ChurCh can openly criticize gays.

equafued, amoflKpthe! things; his rtght to pliLy the ~ie~ ;., '.< Imagine ifto~eni:otganizers barred Jack Nickhms frorqentering a

.. toUrnament for' feat. that h~ migh~ .People are also· free. to criticize ·h~h.WI·· defeatTigd-Woods; Siac~icklausis " sttaightwhite guys wh8weat g!asses, national leaders whose titles have the ,.,..------'-....,.;;.....:--"'-...,..----.;...."'-;....,;~--.....;.-T""'--~....--....."'-"'""":.....-r-:-_:_;-:-:--~.....7.7.'~__:'::1 wortythata:r:'Hcklaus victory would be . same first letters as their names and '/ . ' . . ..' .' . ' ..' .. \ ' , • . . . . . In factilf.you're wiliingto p a y . " il tha d bi ..

Oh; tnan, 1'", out of beer and WOW,·awhcile kingdom? It had ·I ~. it,sholild(lt,Je~be. . tMt muchfol'a ~er.nbink . a viplation of "equality." But it is ballistic miss' es t OU e as petuthe bcirtender'snot arOund.... better be agoI'd beer: ImportWlIr somethIng .' . . ht hall . drinking important to remember equality is nia beds. Why should some groups \ ' .,' . , ' , you illig 'b~' '. / "Abeer•• a beer,.!nY kingdllm

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Oftke St8fr Edito!-in~chief;. Christine' ~aker editor@imptint,uwaterloo.ca AsSistant Ediroi, Lauten. Fox . CoVer EditOr, Dere)< Hans News Editor; ~ Stratford Ne'W$ Assistarit; .Ghtistin~ 'LJ:>ureii:o Op¥on Edit?t,'titn .Alm.n~n~k Features' Editor, Arda Ocal !anBlechscllmidt i?cieP.ce ;Edit9r;~ChaelDavenport " SpOrts Editor,ROd MCLachlan ' Photo EQitOr,,<;}lris .~ .

Arts.' EditP!, .

Gt\ip~Editor;'VlI~t, Web. Editoi!,~ Matt Lee' Systems. AdtiiWstrator, Javed Iqbal . . J.ead· Prpofreadef,:i:feali Whelt9il Prootreaaer; Emif!f,Lau Proofreader, Josh: C;hung pioofi:eader, Dai4ei.Ko llroofi:eadeJ;, M~eManselL

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Disti:iJ;,~tion,Chan<4a MoUli

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Board "of DireetoJ:S .boa1'q~pJ;Utt.uwarerloo.ca . Presidertt; Andrew Dilts Vite-pres,jderit, Erin Gilmer . .'

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Imprint is the official' student 'newspaper of the UDivecity ofWaterloo, It is aned;.tori.' ally; jndependent ,newspa~ p\ibliShed by ~ Publicatipns, Waterkll); a corpora~ tion withOut share capital.lmprint isa'~­ ,her of the Qilnuio' Comniumty- Newspaper

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As a society, we shOuld look down upon1:hosewho ai:eso 1'lattow-minded that they can hate entire group of people. .

thegovemmenth'as passed a liLw that spells out how the' rights of some groups ate diff~reni:from those of others, all in the name of equality.

Enter BillC-Z:50. .

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_ FRIDAY,JULY16,2004

Sick of cheap gasoline prices Gas prices are high all across Europe, and asa result, their citizens are much .more'conservative in theirusage than weare.

Instead of going dowtr the American-style path of greed and wastefulness, we· should follow Europe'S example and start conserving gasoline, for as long as it . Lately, a lot of people have been lasts.

The federal government should bitching and complaining about the price of gas·and how it's unreason- jack up gasoline taxes totaise the able, a total rip-off, the work of the price to at kast two dollars per litre.

We'd of course need exemptions for devil, etc. lim not so·surc.

Let's think for a minute. What are farmers and such,who depend on the consequences of high gasoline fuel to survive, but overall, such a prices? For one thing, waste is dis- change could have substantial ad- . couraged. Driving itself is also dis- vantages. Hopefully it would encouraged, inviting folks to use our courage the purchase of hybrid and more efficient public transit systems. other fuel-efficient vehicles, or ideExpensive gas would assuredly lead ally, drive people into the arms of to lower demand, and burning less public transit. ofit would definitely aid the environPeople may decide to drive south for cheaper gas ~ hopefully we can ment. Where's the problem here?

Recent gasoline price hikes have encourage the United States to inmany Canadians hopping mad. There troducethe necessary tax hikes on have been claims thatthe oil compa- their gasoline as well. A dandy start nies are making .recordprofits and would be for Bush to lose the No~ that taxes are too high on gasoline. vember election!

Don't get me wrong; lama driver.

Well, of course the oil companies are gouging customers ~money-grub­ I drive over 15 kilometres toget to school each bing corporations day, and I drive do that! However, to Toronto at present, I don't believe· we hllve High gas prices my pretty often too (\Vondermuch of a choice. ass! Go to the local land, anyAnd as for taxes one?). I'm: not being too high, Petro-Can~da isolated from that's absolutely riSearch the entire these· gas diculous; We have priCes. But it's gasoline vendors store . What's the kind of hard to fretting that over a cheapest liquid you get pissed off third ofga~oline about paying costs are various c·an possibly find? $100 to $150 a taxes. So what?

Most likely it's month for Taxes on· gasoline gasoline when, are· progressive gasoline. for example, consumption I'm coughing taxes,forcingthose up over $400 a who are greedy with month to those crooked'auto insurit topay the most. ance companies with very little· to I should point out that they are also optional taxes, and could even show for it.

Why am I in favour of high gas be c.alled "sin" taxes because gasoline hurts our environment not only when pnces and more public transit when we burn it, but the environm~ntal I'm one who drives everywhere? Well, damage caused by taking the stuff out if public transit were available ·from of the earth in the first place is ~so Elmlra to Waterloo, I'd definitely use very significant. it. Gas prices-and also those High gas prices my assr Go to the goddamn auto insurance rateslocal Petro-Canada. Search the entire would no longer be aconcern! Ah,to store. What's the cheapestliquid you beftee!

I'm happyto see plans for alight-rail can possibly find? ~ost likely it's gasoline. This is a rareJuel, expensive transitsysteniin Waterloo Region Once to extract, and yet it's often cheaper installed, many K-W resident!; won't than bottled water! I'd say the prices evenneoo a car anYmore. Unfortuare far too low, They'te practically nately, tight-wing governments and giving the. gasoline away and, as a conservative politicians aredoingtheir result, we're very care-free in our con- best to block progressive public transit initiatives; It's time for even those twits sumption rates.

It's pretty frustrating to see peo- to accept these common sense conple zooming around in their gas- cepts.

The environinental and societal guzzling SUVs ~d often leaving them idling to their heart's content. benefits of higher gasoline costs defiThese shameful habits, and those nitely outweigh any drawbacks. It's blasted SUVs, devour hotrendous tirUe for the government to raise ~es on gas6lineandpunip ..~ lot trlore amounts of gasoline.

Afriend of co-worker of mine money into public transit. Everyjust got back from <:;ermany, where body would be much better off. .. gascostsaround$3.15CDNperlitre.

And yet, people there aren't bitching! mj9hnson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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FRIDAY. JULY 16 2004

9

The bathrootnattendant A trend from classy restaurants 'and Toronto bars mov,ing into Waterloo asked him if he was. employed by Louie's 'or simply given permission to "setup shop," and again he smiled.

clean every fInger (including the oftforgotten thumbs), I look for somewhere to dry my hands -only to be approached by the same man who hands me a perfecdy long piece of paper towel (holdhIg it always in between the index and middle fIngers). I take a better look at the sink area to fInd that this man has set up There I was, on the dance floor at va~ous gels, colognes and deodor, Louie's on Thursday, dancing it up ants for our use. "What a peculiar with one ofthe most breathtakinggirls idea," I thought asI~ll}ade my way in the place (yes, seriously). Life couldn't out of the bathrooJ?l, completely have gotten any better - of course, forgetting to tip the gu.y. . Mother Nature decides to make a call While this was one of my fIrst (she actually first intervened about 35 such experiences, this trend is not minutes ago) and finally my common ' new, nor is it exclusive to Louie'ssense told me to avoid future health . I have heard reports that these "sink concerns and go to the bathroom. soldiers" also appear at Rev/Flying After answering the callto nature Dog, Elements as well as at various I turn towards the sinks to wash,my dubs around the Toronto area. hands, but fInd that the water is The oddest thing about it was already running. My sear~h for soap that they seemed very secretive about lasts half a second before a man their profession. As I dried my squirts liquid soap into my hand hands, I asked him if this was his from a bottle. After I thoroughly night job, and he simply smiled. I

Arda Deal

Assuming there are 300 males in the bar, every male goes to the bathroom once, and 40 per cent of them tip $1 (which is the average going rate), that's $120 for the night.

•• H• •

Apparendy he saw me as potential competition and wanted tomduce a high barrier to entry.

I certainly would not want to spend my evening in the men's bathroom handing out paper towels and' helping guys pick out good cologne - a sentiment apparendy shared by , the females.

The girl' market remains untouched as there is no such activityin 'their bathrooQls(that or these workers already know the bar is a "sausage-fest" and can make more money from the males). .. So then, there must be good money to be made from the men if they are willing to stand in the men's room all night with no complaints.

Assuming there are 300 males in the bar, every male goes to the bathroom once, and 40 percent of them tip $1 (which is the average going rate)~ that's $120 for the night. If the man works from 9p.m. to 2a.m" he's making ,$24 an hour -.:... no ,wonder ,he doesn't mind,Standing in the bathroom all night (will coop tuenottce?). . .

C

One might askwlien our on campus establishments will be approached by these kings of clean.

Though Fed Hall might be the ideal setting because of the atmosphere, the quick depletion of paper towels inside the male bathroom at the Bomber might be a better cause to set up shop there. I would defInitely tip a guy who gives me a paper towel (holding it always in between the index and middle fIngers) to wipe my hands.

Perhaps I'm just bitter that paper towels (and soap) run out so quickly at Bomber on Wednesday nights. You really have to go early if you want to properly wash your hands - go after 11 :30 and you might as well urinate on them too, because your hands will stay dirty and wet for the whole night. Oh, where is, my sink soldier when I trulY'!Ieed him? aoc&l@impriJit,UWaterloo.ca

Something.about the A-word A popular topic of much discussidh and indecision ing campus resources and support for women who wantto continue

I certainly have great respect for individuals who the pro-

.'·lil:ifei=lOsitiqlil;el~9,all"~§~'\)1p'q~1.fl There is something Unsettling about the abortion issue.

Despite being constandy referred toin thefedetale1ection, I cannot recall very many candidates actually saying the word "abortion." 'Choice" was usedirt~tead. ' I like "choice," but not all choices.

Therearesomewhowouldlike "choice" in health care. But NOI That is a wrong choice, others prompdy reply.

F6rmlinycboices,suchaseducation,

electoralreformandenvironmentalregulatio~areasonably healthy debate exists

onwhichch,oieewe shoHldmake.

What about abortion?

When UW Students For Life put up posters suggesting that perhaps there are better choices than abortion, Tim Alamenciak responded in the last issue of Imprint to say: ''The antiabortion posters piss me off," and seemed to suggest that tliey should not be posted.

ss would svgge~t­ are the lawm ~ .s actually afririd that 1hemajori1jwiltagreeWith social conserVatives? Ihlkhlydouht it."

'ari:,~~~~ied'pregn~CY~'also

sorely needed. .

Now that the disclaimers are a thing of the past, hopefully the proIndeed, that is what a university life message will never be ostracized should be, a place where pertinent with them ever again. I hope to hear social issues are discussed and views, • solid discussion followed by work on this issue. challenged. . .

Sadly, some members of the uniAnd so I return to Alamenciak. versity community have not adhered "Abortion should only be used to thatideal when it comes to the proas a last resort," he say,. My queslife view on abortion. When UW Stution is why a last resort? Either dents for llieflrstlaunched the "Quesabortion is harmful or it is not. tion Abortion" campaign in 2001, Eith'er the unborn are human or some students wanted the posters they are not. banned. Eventually the Feds settled Either abortion harms women on requiring these posters to have emotionally, physically and spiritudisclaimers. ally or it does not. Ifabortion is not It is sad that students who disaharmful to anyone in anyway, why gree with a pro-life view spend their limit it to being a "last resort?~' If, time developing disclaimers or tearhowever, abortion is harmful to ing down P?sters. I would have women and their bahies~ shame on hoped that Instead students would us for not properly adressing the b~ .encouraged to develop well issue and then offering a helping thought-out critiques, andto organhand. ize events. Students who would be willing to work with us on develop- Alex Cassar

Bill: freedom of speech endangered by C-2S0 Continued from page 7 Unfortunately, maskiflgwhatthose individWds cansaywillnotbringabout the education required to curb their hittted.~ fact,itmayve!ywell succeed at the opposite. . ' I fWe pfese1he Canadian public with facts an .' ·deuce ~.. as the

_',

Democracy is about open debate and discussion, and freedom ofspeech is not just the pillar that supports that: process; it isthe process. An attack on freedoin of speech is an attack on democracy,astheyareone~ the same. , ;;' Let's kee~,Canada a p~'ce th~t ~ to)erant ofall types ofopinions "--'-hot just those endorsed by the socialist governnient.

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FRIDAY, JULY 16,2004

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One week ago today, the United States Senate began the debate on the "Federal Marriage Amendment," an amendment to the U.S. constitution which would define marriage within the US as "a union betWeen one man and one woman." This, understandably, has atttaetedintemational attention.

I considered writing about it, throwing in my own heavily opinionated political and religious views, but I won't. For one, everyone in the major media stream is doing it, and for another, it's been proven impossible to enlighten people by shouting at them and beating them around the head. It might be good exercise, but largely an exercise in futility.

So, instead, I'm going to ask all of you to sit back and imagine ...

I have taken you back in time, to a place a fair distance from where you are now. You are a 25-year-old male university student, happily going along yourdays: drinking Coke, listening to music on the radio, drawing pornographic doodles in your textbooks and ignoring your professors. In fact, you :u:enot sovery different from who you are now.

As it so happens, you're in love. In fact, you've been dating this amazing woman for a few months now, and things look promising. You make a trip out to the jewelry store, make a reservation in the usual fancy restaurant, "drop" your napkin, produce a ring and pop the question. To your never ending delight, the woman whom you love more then any other on the planet says yes.

The next day, you and your betrothed, head out to get your marriage certificate, whistling "Going to the Chapel" by the Dixie Cups ... and you get arrested. You see, there's a problem: You are Caucasian ... the woman whom youloveisAfrican-American. Or Asian. Or Hispanic. In fact, she is anything "other" than Caucasian. You see, the two of you are committing the "crime" of Miscegenation - forming aninter-racialmarriage.

Actually, you're not far away after all: you're in the United States. Or South Africa. Or Canada. Or any number of nations worldwide that had laws against mixed marriage. In fact, a mixed marriage was against the law in Alabama until November of 2000, butitwas largely repealed in the U.S. in 1967 and Canada before that.

Racist? Unfair? You betitwas, and it took a long hard fight to have those laws changed. There were scores of people against it, on every side of the line in the sand called 'race.' What mattered here was not that it was

preventing the 'mixing of the races;' no, what mattered was that it was preventing two people, who loved each other as much as you love your current significant other, from being together.

Those laws prevented people, no different from you, from being happy.

Now, fast-forward back to today and compare. Isn't this simply the same fight, but with a new line drawn in the sand? It's only the words that have changed, not the emotions, the "morals," or the fact that all these laws are doing is preventing two people from loving each other in the same way that the "normal majority" do, and giving them the same rights, the same freedoms and the same equal standing under the law.

Here in North America, there are two futures for the land of multiculturalism and the land of freedom. In one future, we will fake the same napkin drop, produce the same flamboyandy expensive ring and ask the same question. In the other, the question changes: "Mr. Right, ,vill you enter a legally binding, state recognized, socially acceptable, non-marital domestic partnership with me?"

In either case, despite all the political posturing, history will repeat itself and equality will come. All it takes is time, a significant amount of effort and, occasionally, verbally beatingpeopIe about the head. gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloci.ca

Sure, I'll write about Scrabble

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Recently I had this dream where I was at Rev and all the girls there gave me attitude and brushed me off.

Dammmmn, even the girls in your head be rejecting you! That's tough.

Back in my teens, 1'd have dreams where all I did was run around grabbing boobies and reciting poetry to hoboes.

Wait. Stop. Hold up son. ''Yo Herambone, this is the little voice that lives in your ear. Dude, invest in some Q-tips. But seriously, all you seem to write about are girls, making fun of Asian people, and trying to getlaid. Your topics lack originality and are generallyuseless!" echoed the little voice inmyear that sounds eerily like David Beckham with his balls removed.

"But little voice, what do you propose? You want Herambone to write about board games and shit?" inquired Heramb in the third person.

So I was playing scrabble the other day. Naturally I was losing since my vocabulary is smaller than an Asian man's penis in a cold shower.

It was my turn and I formed the word "at." Did I mention I was losing?

After grabbing one letter from the pile, a word appeared in my rack. I ~~teqpaHentl)'.until it was my 짜n

again and then gloriously spelled out dIe word: "H-O-C-A -R".

My competitors claimed they had heard of no such word to which I wittily retorted, "As per Black Entertainment Television's Comic View airingweeknightsat 10:00 p.m., ahocar is in fafta car driven bya femaleofloose morals."

They stated that ''hocar''wasn'tin the Oxford English dictionary to which I wittily retorted once again,

They stated that I'hocar" wasn't in the Oxford English dictionary to which I wittily retorted once again, lIyo, that dictionary is culturally biased.

Back in the hood (Ajax), we got our own verbal code.

II

''Yo, that dictionary is culturally biased. Back in the hood (Ajax), we got our own verbal code. And when we're playing Scrabble, we use our fists to settle disputes."

My competitors told me to simply use car to which I wittily retorted for ...t:he third titJ:le, "I want the extra five

points you cracka' ass crackers."

Now you guys might be thinking I am mental but these same competitors allowed the following words to count: "ting" and "moo." What's a ting? They say it's a sound a spoon makes! Say what mutha fucka? Since when does a spoon speak? And you think I'm mental.

Basically, the organizer ofthis Scrabble round kept overruling me throughout the game 'cuz he was jealous of my umbrella. I have this cool umbrella \vith a picture of the Pope giving a thumbs-up.

I hate people who can't lose graciously. Okay, maybe hate is a little too extreme. I want to kill these people and play Monopoly in the cemetery with d1eir corpse and periodically steal their hotels. And I will make them land on Baltic Avenue 4,000 times just to pay the $4 rent.

As an aside, Monopoly promotes the gallgsta lifestyle. You gots to pay cash just to walle on some dude's turf?

And when the police come, some people conveniently have a "get out of jail free card." That ain't right. And why they gotta charge flat rates for hotels? WhatifI only need a room for one hour? Ahhh, make that 15 minutes.

See little voice in my ear, I chose to write about Scrabble - a nice wholesome topic. Oh yeah, thanks for your suggestion about the Q-tips. After 10 minutes of digging, I could freaking make my own Tussaud wax museum. hramachandran@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

opinion

FRIDAY. JULY 16 2004

Absolutely re-Markable To the editor, I would like to thank Mark for his reMarkable article in the Imprint. I think he spotted what millions have in the U.S. and herein Canada in all levels of society from a government lady describing Bush as a "moron" to the scientists and diplomats in the U.S. condemning Bush's war ofworld terrorizing.

-Fqycal Sciffih Engineering Computing PhD stttdies

Islam misinterpreted To the editor, On behalf of all the innocentIraqi and Afghani civilians who were killed, orphaned, maimed, and terrorized, I thank you for voicing the extreme injustice they had, and still have to endure under the Bush government.

I do, however, have a comment regardingyour statement thatSaddam's crime in Bin Laden'sviewwas "his 'evil' secularization of Iraq, i.e. teaching women how to read, helping the poor and industrializing the nation." What concerns me here is not Saddam or Bin Laden; it is the implication that Islam was againstwomen's education, helping the poor and industrialization. All of these accusations could not be further from the truth. Literacy and education are extremely important in Islam.

Every t1uslim, man or woman, is expected to seek knowledge. UW has many i\1uslim men and women seekinghigher education. I personally know of many women who have completed their PhD degrees in fields such as engineering, CS, math, and accOlmting. i\nd while most people seek higher degrees for a better job orfor better pay, a Muslim is supposed to seekitas a way to worship God and serve his/her people. Regardless of what is being circulated about the Taliban's opposition to industrialization and women's education, this view is certainly unIslanuc.

Islam also puts upon Muslims the responsibility of helping the needy whether they are poor, orphaned, old etc. and pronllses those who help them with great rewards. It also orders those who have the means to give a small percentage of their money towards helping the poor and encourages eVe1yone to give out charity as often as they can. This is why charitable organizations in Muslim countries do not need to give away prizes in return for charity: a Muslim enjoys helping the needy and expects nothing in return.

Thank you again for speaking out.

-R KAI-Halimi UWAlumni

The hair that ruined campus pizza To the editor, To reply to Nathan Aliek's letter (July 2 Il1prinf), I agree that hygiene is imperative to maintaining good health.

Another good practice to have is to wash your hands before eating and very few people do.

Even more important are the hygiene practices of restaurants. What's the point ofwashing your hands if the cookdoesn't? I'm here to point out the case ofa specific restauranton the plaza: Campus Pizza.

I witnessed cashiers touchingpizza slices after having handled money a few seconds earlier. This is disgusting. A bill had many previous "owners" throughout the day and their hands have touched God knows what. I even saw a cashier give change (a $5 bill and quarters) to a customer after they had fallen on a slice of pizza. The cashier didn't even discard the slice. Somebody probably ate it!

The straw that broke the camel's back was when I discovered a hair on a slice that I bought. I showed it to the cashier and she refused to either give me another one 01' refund my money. As they say, three strikes, you're out! Not only am I not going back there, I'm vetoing that place whenever we order pizza.

-GabrielRetiaud

Cotrpttter science

A different Mark's masterpiece To the editor; Maybe it's out of place for me to comment on an article in which I received short mention, but I wanted to commend Mark Stratford for his great article lastweek on international student fees. Like Stratford mentioned, there seems to be little that can be done to help international students who started out in fmancial duress at the beginning of their studies, ol'who have found themselves in duress because of increased fees or a change in circumstance. The university is using international students as cash cows; that's much more than simply ensuring their education isn't subsidized by other students.

Mark's article was therefore timely, especially in light of the federal election. It was also well 'written and well researched. It's good to see solid, relevant writing in your paper. Good job Mark, and good job Impnnt.

-Liam McHugh-Russell 3B mathematics

The men in stripes To the editor, As the game began to get heated, with both teams fighting their hardest to get that ever important go-ahead goal, the whisde suddenly blows with the referee deciding to warn both teams that they are "getting out of hand."

This is an ever popular call from our referees in the recreation ball hockey league run at Columbia Ice fields. This is my second term as captain of a ball hockey team in the recreation league.

Our first term as a team was a learning experience as none of us had played before and to our surprise the league .

"

was a great deal of fun. It's amazing how things can change.

This term has been nothing but a stressful ass-kissing extravaganza as I have tried in vain to persuade the referees to give us a high enough SOC rating so we could make the playoffs. I have been involved in competitive sports since I was three years old and this season was by far the worst case of officiating I have ever seen. These refs did nothing but min a league that should be fun and competitive for all participants.

Under the commanding so-called "leadership" of Odum ldika, these referees took control of almost every game by calling stupid penalties and giving out warnings that were unjust and stupid in the minds ofboth teams.

For example one game that my team participated in was a hard fought 9 - 7 win by us with two, that's right, two penaltiesALLgame byboth teams, and the referees decided to award both teams \vith horrible SOC ratings, further diminishing our chances to get into the playoffs. It seemed interesting that after the game the other team's captain e-mailed the convener telling him how much his team enjoyed the game!

For those of you not fanllliar with Campus Recleagues, a "Spirit of Competition" (SOC) rating is issued after every game to ensure fairplay and to put an emphasis 011 fun. This rating must be a plus one or higher to ensure your team gets into the playoffs.

Our team was on the verge ofnllSSingthe playof£~ and as alast ditch effort I contacted Adam Steeves, who is the convener of the Ball Hockey league. I pleaded with him to ref our game just

so I could show him that our team wasn't nearly as bad as they are stereotyped to be. Sure enough, Adam refereed the game and we were given aplus three out of four to easily make it into the playoffs. This was the highest rating our team had ever received and in my opinion was the fll'stgame that we had received goodrefereeing.

Ifit wasn't for Adam and his excellent refereeing ability, we would have missed the playoffs. The referees in this league are horrible, with little or no hockey knowledge. It is a shame that this term went on with such horrible officiating. Hopefully by September the league will recognize this problem so we can go back to the hard fought competitive nature that represents the sport ofhockey. This will only happen without these power-tripping refs that take advantage oftheir authority at the expense of students out for a good workout and a competitive game of ball hockey.

unsanctioned use of the poster owner's property (the poster) violates the freedom of speech of the owner.

The existence offree speech, like any freedom, requires total restraint from the initiation ofphysical force.

-Brian Yeung

2B computer science

Do you find that nobody listens to you?

Having trouble getting heard?

We've got

13,000

people just waiting to hear what kind of stuff you want to say.

-Rob 3B sociology Cutline quibble To the editor, I am writing in response to the caption of an image in the July 2 Itnpnnt. The image showed a vandalized posterwith the caption "The graffiti someone scribbled 011 [this] poster is an example of two very differentvoices exercising their 'freedom of speech"'.

Vandalism is not a form of free speech; rather, vandalism is the negation offree speech. The vandal operates by the use of physical force: his/her

Send us your thoughts, you opinionated person you.

etters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Imprint opinion

12

It doesn't have to make

FRIDAY,JULY 16,2004

(iiving and receiving: more .th3:n just a double entendre

sense, it's policy understands French commands. If questforaccesSlbility. Theyfrequendy Mr. Tessier were to speak to:his dog· encounter officials armedwith checkone ofthese fewer than 20 words that lists ready to argue that they have Pavot understands, he woUld have done everything they need to. Rarely do those in charge think about what Am I the only one who finds that the violated the zealous five-week pledge thatlimitsparticipantstoonlyspeakmight be necessary for the job at Turnkeys are really, rea/lilY into ing English. hand: Minimums shoUld not be Rruliohead? Maybe it's just me, but I UNB officials were determined to • applied as maximums. coUld swear that every time I take that prevent Mr. Tessier (rgmspeaking Think of something like wheelmighty stride through the SLC's Great When I was young,my father received French to his dog; Mr'. Tessier was chair-accessibl~ doors. MostUW Hall I am greeted by the sinlperyvoice a button that said, "It cioesn't have to deterIIliqed to enrol in the program buildings have at least one door with and resdess ins1:rumental work of five a ramp leading to it. The best one on make sense, it's university policy." and speak French to his dog. For a lads from Oxford. Truthfully,lhaven't litde did! know howttue this would while, ne'er the twain were to meet campus by far is the entrance to Enhad much use for Radiohead since be once I made it into university my- until a brief, but intense intemational gineering 2 across from the Doug 2000'sKidA, when they switched from ~. self. Policyis a wonderful place to hide. firestorm erupted.

Wright Engineering building. No less being a brilliant rock band to experi'PoliciesaAdproceduresgpvemthe A frequent problem.with those than four manual doors stand bemental musicians (see: makers of in". .that an organization works, dicdevoted to policy is that they often tween the r~p and the accessible scrutable noise). Buthey,l'mamature, ··~whathappens and when. In an cannot grasp the big picture and they freight elevator. Or perhaps the path- . flexible, modem kind of guy, so I've otgaruzation with a lot of turn over, focus on the details, protecting their way leading from the 'SLC to the done my best to fall in love with· . many of these policies seem. to be litde fiefdom.

Health Services bridge is more familRrulioheadalloveragain.lt'sworkeda Equally so, those who complain lar. There, in recent memory, curb archaic and out oftouch with reality. little,and I'm happier because of it.

Newcomersaretypi~allyintimidated . about existing policies do not atcuts were actually removed, forcing rm sharing this story with you for by the rule book and.thosewho pro-· tempt to understand why a. policy those in wheelchairs to make a lengthy two reasons. The first is so I can make tedit. might exist but intend only toget rid detour. Though an area might be my audition as a booty~kickin' music Consider the University of New of it. Tempers &,Ie an9' nobody's accessible~isitpractical? ~ewer,;whichhas always been a notBrunswick and 'the case of Yvan happy. ; , ' ..

PoImyexist,st9governthespirit;o£ '. so-secret hobby~finttie: 86 mtich, in What is important'isthatthe spirit an organization. It shoUld be simple, TesSief. Mr. Tessier enrolled in tht fact, that i woUld have loved to have tTNB's intensive English Language of the intended policy must be folit shoUld be rational and it shoUld be beenJinprinfs arts editor fora brieftime .Program, nicknamed "the Subm~- lowed while at the same time adpractical. If it isn't or you don't unduringmy UW journalism stint. But as tIDe program" because of the five dressingdiffererices and changingcir- derstancl it; ask a question. After all, fate would have it, the· paper really .weekS ()fEngl1sh-only living that the cumstances. This is something that .. this i,s your ~orld. Change it. needed someone to whip up some >p~ te<}Wes~ W.r~~!!t's proD- . di~bled people· in particUlar have news reporting forll!l active student lemisthathlsguidedog,Pavot;only fo~ght against in their continuing nmoog·k~hlliis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca pIore than they rieeded an overbody . . . . . :; stimulated music judge with Cameron Crowe tendencies. And since I've always beensomeonewhoenjoys achallenge and likes helping others (see: coat being comfortable. As women, we guided. Acco.rdmg to Freug only "mature" women were able to experimust love and be familiar with our hanger), I decided to gwe it a go!

The other reason I told the storyin cunts (including all words referring ence .vaginal Qrgasms while clitoral thefirstparagraph-and,incidentally,· to it) .. Some of us ~qu.irt while others experiettceswere deem!!d to be a sign the story in the second paragraph - is of sexual immatqrity; Now it is clear may squirm, but we can all romp·in the woods mUltiple times without because compromise is key to mainthat the only difference between the taininghappyre1ationshlps with those worrying· about getting the tent two is their origin. that; for better or for worse, you need pitched.

Ejaculation has been noted to ocid' your life. I'll bet that when you Also, for you guys, be aware ofthe cur. when a G-spot orgasm is experion for the swinging debutante signed of some e:xtremelywetconpossibility Imagine this - you're making out enced. A fluid similar to male cum ball we call university life; you weren't ditions but do not expect rain. Like pretry hardcore with some guy on the (minus the soldiers) is expelled when expectinghalf the confrontations and anything it depends on many factors 'carpeted floor in his parent's base- the woman finishes. Sadly thoug~, resulting animosity you've faced since; ment and then your body begins to not all women are capable of such Gust like the whiskey dick phenomthat includes cynical co-op employers, enon, fot example). EjacUlate from Ipse control. YouSt3.rt getting really wa~works. borderline-bipolar roommates, peers hot, your breathing becomes shallow, Much research has been conducted either a man orwomanis verysexyand with drasticallydifferentideals and the shoUld not be thought of otherwise. quickens and it feels as though you on this controversial topic. In fact, occasional too-big-for-his-britches may explode. It is so intense you sceptics believe that this emission is Experimentwith yourselforwith your al,most want it to stop but it feels so urinary~ted. However, studies show .. paitrier to seeifyou can get slipperyit prof. I'll also bet that, in your emomay just be a matter of practice or tionalhellcatteenagerphase, you never good you can't. Then you hear, "What that the substance has mote in compatience and one day the time may thought that you'd one day learn how the hell! Did you. just pee on my mon with male ejaculatory fluid than topickand chooseyour battles. Atleast tIoor?!'" ~e. This belief is shared with Soocum. notifyou were as angsty as me. (IroniThe ecstasy is over and awkward- day Night Sex Show host Sue cally, maybe I should have listened to mtitus@imprint.uwaterloo.ca p.ess is its replacement. Rather than· .Johanson who insists that "most trying to.explain to.the.clueless guy . women cannot pee when. that you ju~t experienced your first horny... (www.wnetwork.com/topor~sm, which involved cumming,it ics/ relationshipslsue_advice/ is easier to play naive and reply, ''I female_ejaculation.asp) aon.'t know.", DaYI> lat:er, he. reports Rather than being victim to dris back wit4his findings feeling very silly debate, we should move forward .macho and proud ofllis accomplish- and embt;ace this illteresting and fun ments. addition to sex. In orderto·limitcleanFemale orgasms have risen from up timeitis importanito be prepared. obscurityovertheyearsandtheknoWl- W:q,etheritbe atowel (qrtwo or three), edge offemale ejaculation is following a tile floor option Or even a specially the trend. SigmillId Freud's theories designed creations to absorb sexual on female sexualitywere honoured at fluids (check outwww.luvlinen.com); . one time but now have beengready anything to limit a mess ~ make surpassed.Qf cO)JrSe he . Wa5 correct afterwards more enjoY!l.ble. when separatirig. orgasms into. two ,Orgasms are an incredible thing categories - vaginal (more recendy arid wha~s even bs:tteiisthat girls can . known as G-spot) and clitoral-but have them repetttivelyfJustremem-' hlsclassifications of these were mis- ber thatitis a matter ofrelaxation and·

I

'TIIIIIYOUI WOllD

The ··time. has cum (and' so shall we)

._.1I81IIU

more Rruliohead and less Bikini Kill.)

Theroad to compromise, both professional and personal, is one of the hardest to travel. Let me give you an example~f you've read my column before, you'll probably see this one coming): This week the U.S. SeQate voted against a proposed amendment to effectively ban gay marriage by a slippery c;ount of 48-50. The whitest, richest, fattest, black~person-hating-est people in America arelumberingup to the podium to denounce queer unions, and George W. Bush - strugglingtopreserve an empire thatMichael Mooremayhavepersonallycutthelegs out from - feels the need to protect Americans from further displays of "disrespectforthatinstitution." Anew pollshowsthatfourineverytenAmericans supports a ban on same-sex marriage. Okay, fine,! can live w.ith that. facing these views at home, and in my own backyard,has beenmuchmore trying. An Imprint online news poll from last February shows thatarough estima~ofonly55percentofmyUW

peers s~pport gay marriage, with roughly 32 per cent opposing it outl;ight. That means that every day as I head to work and to class, I paSs by dozens ofpeople whom I wouldgladly get into a bloody deathlock with in an alternate, more aggressive dimension.

So many moral objections, so many religious· condemnations, so ~y physical an4mentalAC!lIlons:-:- both mine andillf"o.~i;~ias often made me very upset.

But now, as I gear .. rip to leave UW, ; .

Ihavedecided tomakeonelast~ttenipt to agree to disagree. If rve grown as much as I like to think I have (see: conceitedasstard), then I can try to turn the other cheek on the issue thati:nakes my blood boil more quickly than any other. ''Love the sinner, hate the sin," say some of the fundies. And I believe it - they do honesdy love me, which I suppose is their compromise.

On Wednesdayaftemoon, around 2:30 p.m., I stepped out of the Imprint office andintothe GreatHall, expecting to hear Rruliohead. The Turnkeys weren'tplayingRadiohead-theywere playing Black Eyed Peas. It was such a shock that, without thinking about it, I suddenly dove to the middle of the floor and started shaking my ass; Itwas delightful. Thanks to everybodyin the Great Hall for moving out of my way; there were no injuries. mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Julian Apon.

..

Dl:a day in the life ,Daniel K.

Ko

IMPRINTSrAFF

Where time staods... Still. '

If the weather'soot a Fiasco, this patio ;"ouldil8 good.

Price vs. proximity: the eternal struggle· ,

Andr8818~s\Villand If

when:the-ywere finaIlydropped at ourtable they were tlle Wrong beverages. C':mon, how hard'is it to screw up Ginget ale and Coke? BoO-earns.

1... "lItsr'dakls

Ltmra Ginoonous. '

Price / Service

'~I,aEgS'Y.i"EBI',;

IAura

"

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,

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'My good friend Alex Takasaki has given me the privilegeoflearning how he gOes a!:>out his rou- . fitteas a DJ. He is nota typi<;aJ DJ~ he has the dedication and heart to remake music thewayit's ' supposed· to be heard. Exhilarating. Time is , melting. DJ Flash is an aspiring clubbing/radio ·DJ. He's the sound magician at the turntables at , events like therecentRedAlert,Bomber We<inesdays and partiesin Toi()nto; Carrying anywhere J;rotn800to l,200albums,2nthatAie)l:caresl!-bout is that the music would get people dancing and appreciating .the atmosphere he is known for ,r creating. He'll come prepared toa gjgwith a quick glance athisaudien(:e. This way he orients the musicforthe parti~: , With the turntable, he says, you can do almost anything. Newbeats appear.Voices andtndodies, with or without ,another DJ, are tos~d into various remixes.

Working with a manager; he is saving his money to buy ben;er equipment. He has another part-time job to support himself..

Even DJing four nightsinarowis not enough, so DJ Flash practises. ''To be really good,to be a . well known clubDJ,you'Vegot tobeconsistent.'! , . He -then tells me abOut other DJs. ''I really _ looked up to the ones that taught me the fundamentals, and molded, me to' what I am now. I' ~~t().WPeS.ofF~tel;~in~ewYork.

"The;pti.ces~~~iillisonabi~:rhefood~s 'Okay,soI;msur~I;.aurawillagieewithme,the_ Being a DJ is all about educating, and itean start '.

good; not bad, but not great either. The prices _ bartender was kirida hot and more accommowith the people who don't know the d;aft. They' reflected that. Thesemce just was n9t great~ datingthan our bitchy-server. He sat us, dropped .'can listen to JanetJackson and other old school 140 University Ave West. Watt!tloo ofCour drinks and then answered our <lu~s­ . artists and appreciate it becailse that is how hip Overall rions ,as welt The pricitig seemed appropriate, h9P was born."

AtmospherC!' , not as great as fi3sco's, but I think for the , Andrea The DJ market is no longer as saturated Andrea', I'd go backforthefood. Ifyouare!'dventuimis. atmosphere, we were willing 'to adjust. The becaliSemanytalenied artists pursuingaCllreer Generally unappealing. TMiriside is very open ' and willihgfo sitin your companion's Jap asyou , N3mlunobarthatLaura andlshated was S4.A '~producingorrapping. He hopes thatworking proVirung a lof of room, while the -patio is eat, I say giv'er. It will be the petfect patio for' little much forme, butitwasdammnnnyUmmy. ' 'hardwillmakehim stay at the tOp ofth~ business. you. equippeg'withapproximat~lysixtablesandafew He says thattheworstDJ s are s>nc:swho drink umbrellas. The patio furniture was a mess'and Ltmra " , tad muci:tandgetsloppy, oronesWhb havtaccess ' the wobbly table seemed to prove thatJohriny , ' Lallra _ ' , Prices wetepretty lowJfxc~ptforthe one item to CD scratchiilgturntables thatplay burnt CDs. Fiasco'spatio is just that: a fiasco.

Not terrible. I wouldn't go back ifJhad the that I wanted. I'll defuii~y go back but I will A tl;Iature DJ doesn't bring a ~lisf'Offllbums. He "choice, but if a friend ",anted to go there I never again order the$4Nanaimo bar. The .. saysit'sbesttogowiththeflbw.Whilehe'sDJing, wouldn't refuse: service ,was prettynon-ex,iStent but atl~tthey' he li.kesto think abOut the next,twosongs tobe In terms of atmosphere, this patio was cramped. we~~'t screwing up the orders. played -"'- but his sdections cahalsochMge de~ It was sIDalI, but it felt even mbrecramped pending on the mood of the audience. He wants because it was direcdybeside the busy traffic of The'Still Overall togivethe~jorityagoodtimeandheknowsthat University Avenue. Its.oundedand smclledvery 125 KW.g St, West, Kitchener And~a hecan'tsatisfyeveryone., .

-' . . , much like cars; The patio seemed like an :ttterI'd go back for sure. I would-also be more Heli.keshismusicto be freslL People demand thought, aIrhost as,ifitwas added onto the har Atmosphere .inclined to try this place at ~ht.Itis probably , the most6ver played songs and while he is DJing just so they coUld advertise apatio,withoutreally Andrea' awe~omewith the patio lanterns lit up. Hthey almost everynight'.Uldthese songs getrepetitive. , having much of one. . Just right. Ies the baby beat's bed-of all patios. could improve the hitcbiness oftheir servers,it Aie)l: doesn't wanttobore the crowd,'but at the .You w'alkinto this gigantic patio where you can wouldl5e the tyerfectpatio (miriusthe K~T~wti . same time h~'llhave to make a f~ brewds happy Size sitatthenicecab~bar,takea~toapicnic crazies). withsongsby~onceand50cent.Atcougarbars, Andrea ,table, or tak~, a seat on the patio chairs. There its all about LL CoolJ. Fresh music will give him Size matters. Doesn'twa~whereyougo, what were TVs~ music, ~atio lanterns .-:....the works.. Ltmra' fleSh." He has a Whole collOCclon of t;he newest situation, or whom you are with. There can -OUt otfive stirs I would give it four. Maybe albums to choose from. A pool of albums are, . always bea ('period ofadjustment;" however; if , Ltmra four and one fifth, to be precise. It is definitdy ,mailed to his houseeacb week-he gets them for not done well; there is nil that can bedoneabOut ,The patio Was r~~my and comfortable. There"" a comfortable patio i:o sitdown and drink; beer free as a promotion. ' it. I Edt like a caged animal. whlchin most was a lot ot seating and it :would be- entirdy at He saYS'PJs.are not,only'the people ,stealing' citcumstances isn't a bad thing, butWhenhaving possible to either sit dose to the road or find a pho1'le nwUbers:at clubs.'~s~he$ide' , , lunch we, all need a litde space to just relax. ' table further back and bardy notice the road at And thewinneris •.• the bootharul actiOgcool will pick up.'One time he ' all: 'the screerts separating th~ patio frOin the , Ltmra knewagirlwhocametoDJoruandi:equesreda~ IAtiTa' , MaQ,ftt.",nUI',"]I ises significandY. There's 'no 'contest. TheStiiI wins, without a whil,eflashinghertwins.Hencedrename,DJPlash. sma.Jl, almost not there-atal1.

There is even a beach volley)Jall pit! Rdaxed~ doubt. NotonIy is 'the Still's patio big and , As music coIneStoa climax,he ends the night comfortable andfun ...whatmore can anyone comfy, butJohnny Fiasco's is dismallypuny.I - mtha Joe ''I Warn1a know" slow~ong. He says 'Price I Se~Ce ask for? Itis. however, in dowtOWli KitChener woUld defuiitdy go back to The Still. he doesn'tcarryslow songs. Ifhesee~lTsher,he'll play it. ' " Andrea which is further away thm. the average 'UW Both Laura and I 'adnlitted that the food was student is likdy toten~e:.

Andrea DJFlash'snightoncampushasrometoafinale. piettygood.They hav:~~tne greatlunch specials " 'I'hisis obvious. TheStill wins by a Ibngshot.'

•"AnI am thinking now when the night is over that seem to have ca~t()ui attention. To add ' Siz~ I i~st hope Laura will give me a second date. is, it's finally: over and I can'twaitto eatChinese at , to this, the pricingW!$,q~teappt;optiat~ for: tQe Afldt1t1 Sun· Sun's in Guelph." , ' .. size. However, thesci:vicewasnotimpressive; ~t Ohbaby~ Oh baby, oh baby. That's all! OlD say. . ak~rswill@imprint;uwaterloo.ca . laura@imprirtt.uwaierloo.ca dko@imprint.UwaterlOo;ca,'· took aboll;tlen ~~~! t~~:5?ur ~~d., It:~~., .1, ' ',' ',' 4~! '.. . . , ' ; . " ff'>,., 7-1i·"{) • ..:i.l~"1 ".~; ... 1.6~".v.',.. ·.;3:i~J.·i;C4;.t' : ... .) ..j ; .....; r.!U·.i ~...::L.' V >,"fl· 1("' -; .(1" \"', ':--:"';,"1'~·; .~i "'"''t'.*,~'Il' . ~~,w~.:>l~, •. ,~.~jllJlOJl!Il'~~~"\.:!l4.~ .

JobnnyFiasco's

",

are

",

14

Imprintleature, '

TWQ,perform~ts

that.arefittobe'Brown·

.

'

_ Br()wn persisted with the lyrical art through. high si;hool and at UW, where he competed in ' battle$and performed atlocal coffee houses in an effort to increase awareness 6f the genre. A . 2004 engineering grad~Brown now has more time to pUrsue his hip hop dream., ,. 'q just realized that, .even after freestyli.ng, the rhymes I w.as cqming up with were comparable to -,- if n()t better than - alot of the commerci~ Qip hop acts people were listening to ba,cktheo: That got me serious about writing mypwn rhytnes:and seeing what I.could cqme up with. Now I just focus on making , sure t:h~teverynewrhymeI write is better than the last one." lIis unique approach t() hip flop, along with his sr:pOoth-floWmglyrics, has not ohly landed, him a deal With rising record label , Jhoom Records, but 'has· also gained him recognition from MuchMusic, who await the completi()n of his first music video. Yet despite the newly fblind fruits of his labour, BrqwnremaiJ?s grounded.

"I'm not trying to change the wQrld with my rhymes. There are a lot of hip hop fans out ' there who desperatelywantanewvoice, someone who's not talking about guns, money and bitches all the time. That's where l come in.

I'm here to make good music and prove to the world that sick thymes can speak for themselves, and in th.e process put South,Asians and, more itriportandy, help defIne Southern Ontario on the hip hop map. I tell stories that regular hip hop fans canidentifywith,without pretendin~ to be someone, I'm not." \,

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

, Elaine ~rown Standing out among the <;:rowd, University of Waterloo staff member Elaine Brown adds-a distinct flavour of jazz and melodic flavour to

UW.

-

• Brown, who works in the ,administ;tition office of Village 1, has been a staffmember at UW for nYears. She has been singing jazz ml,lsic on and off for about 20 years, including the tecentmulti-culmral festival ~tdty hall and a special lunch hour performance at the UW Student Life Centr~ tided, "La,dy Singst~e Bluesi",> , " Lately; Brown has found a new home at the.

Rude Native Bistro. on King Street. She is no ' stranger to Tuesday'S open mit: night and say~ it is her dream to,. "Have [her] own' band sing blues an~jazz." She did npt fail to mention that she is always looking for jazz bands, ' in town, "Who need a good vocaIlst to p~~ them to the next level."'· Brown says she usually only sings jazz but is s1:artingto branCh out. She added that Barbara Streisand is an idol of hers and she would like to try singing Streisand'ssongs at the Rude' Nari:ve. Other favourites for the ~~Rude Native" Diva" as th~y call her inc1p;de the ever-popular "Fever," "Misty" and "My Funny Valentine."

- In the meantime, she is lendinghermuskal . talent to UW'supcoming compilation CD;

,to

,

FRIDAY,JULY 16, 2004

Elaine Brown sings we~kly at the Rude Native Bistroil'tKitchener.

been influenced by the hip hop s~enesince a very young age. genres.currendyfound on theeD. "My early influences catUe froriithehip hQP , greats of the late '80s," says Brown. "I rememBrown ber living with my cousins fora while in 1986 WamorNation's lone hip .llOp 'arttsthas a big (I was six years old) aridt;peywere playing lots tole to 00; Btlt this accomplished Me is:hold':" . " ofold-sdto'ol vinyl- Big I)addyKah.e,Rakim;, ' Find 'outtnote about Wamor Nati,m.o1.llUte atradi02.feds.d./wirriornation -irig it down.

3rd Bass ... the listgoeson and~n. Since then" , The man known on stage as Brown has I've bc::en a hip hop fan all of my life."

WamorNatio'n, due-out this fall. Her music, will add a jazz side to the eclectic mix of musk

'

Budgetgamingroundup S1,1£feredtheblOwsOfaqJaSsivemistake:~ttencopy' .·systemever.Thlsonehasasiightlyhigherpricetag meantitwas a lot different for developers. Also, the great controller wits actual1ydifferentenough , protection,Sure,rippingtheDreaincastgameswas' 'than the :b~cast, landing at $59.99tlew. Mind from other controllers to be ,a pain in the ass. "tough,-butburhingandpiayingthemisassimpleas, you,that'sstillCheaperthananewgameforanynextAnd as for the games, a few'powerful hits. , puttingthe.discin.Forthisreason;notmanypeople groeration'system.:rhatcomeswithonecontroller, Golden'!Ye ($12.99) is f.tnnly fIxed in my top ten werewilling tbmake games for it. ,andcables. You'llwanttopiflmpax.nemorycard, games, Also check out Mario 64 ($24,99), Mario Duritlg i~ short life span, the Dreamcast 'the PS (or as they call ifnow, the PSOne) . amasSed aC()ll~on qf 2()(j games. Not many of is trulya systen: forRPGs. Itstill did everything , Kart64 ($24:99), StarFox64 ($16.99) andPerfeci Dark_($7.99). themW!;regood,b~thapricetagof$29.99(used), else extremely well, but the best gameswe~e theDreamCastmakesiwrgeol,lSandCheap,adcution ~ways,the ~Gs. , t6~yVid~'gameCOll$blecollection.Itincludesone .

To start, if y.ou don't pickup FinalFantasy , Eyerything mentioned above should keep controller, and the system. Onethingyou'llwantto VII the minute you get the system, l'm fairly you busy for a while. All of the prices are from 'pick up is 'the VMU, whiCh is essentially a memory . sure the gaming gods will strike you down. It good 01' Electronics Boutique, and do not cardwith batteries and anLCD screen. ' . is the single greatest game I have ~ver played, . include tax. For the most part, memory cards I . In tennS6fga!l1es, toptitles~includeShenmue andat$19.99(new),therearenoexcusesyoucaiI will run you about $1 0 and as any good gamer . ($14.99),Mmvelvs. ~m($29.99);GTA2($14.99), . make for not piclringitup. Afteryou beatFFVII knows, are definitely a necessity. ' Soul Gmbur($22.99) and, ~ my <?pinlon, one bfthe '.and level all your dudes to level 99, chec~ out (in Now aside from the aforementioned co!:ttop games I've playecIfJetGrindRat50 ($5.99). "orger of godliness) Xenogears($29.99), Final soles, there are numerous, even older gaming .Fantasy Tactics ($19.99), Star Ocean ($22.99), consoles that can' provide just as, much fun .

Azure Dreams ($19,99); and WildArms 1 & 2 These include Super Nintendo, NES and even Y1aystation ($24.99). theAtari.

Don't get me wrong"":"" I'm not against ne~ Niritendo 64 things, nor do I fear change. It just bothers me ,thatthe companies responsible forvideo games ,The fallen giant. The N64 was a system that expect us to layout enoUgh cash for a new system " supposedly had twice the processi~gpower of every six years. the Playstation and yetit still could not keep up.

Besides, bYgivirtgdevelopers faricynew hardAlthough this serves to prove my point belluware and capabilities, they lose gjght ofgameplay. tifully, the N 64 is stiIl,a:goo'ifgyitem with good , Think of the PS2, for example. The good games' games. The controlleris,there'al grabbing point -like the really good. games"":"" ,didn't begin ofit, providingpertectcontrols for first-person appearlnguncil the console was alittlebi~mature. shooters and platformers. The system w:ill run Afterthedevelopets get out oftheirgiddyphase, you $24.99 used, with one controller. And yes, theystartniakingrealgames.It'sratherunfortu- . you will need a memory card. . ' , nate,andalsopartofthereasonwhytheGBAis This system was in a similar scenario a.s the so successful. SNES-levelgraphics mean more Drf;amcast, budor different reasons. The N64 room for gameplay elements. went the swe'route as Nintendo'sprevious talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca system~, using a cartridge-style device. This >

too.

Till AlilDejjeilk "

1-"

Most mAjor~news sites have been cati:ying, ,tidbits· abo~t the upcoming next-neit-generation consoks froniMicrosoft, Sony and of course thefallen giant, Nintendo. ,It was recently announced, iliatallthree'wnsoletnaket:swOuldbeunveilingtheir newIIllichlriesatnextsUIllIIldsE3(whiChIwillbe coveriflg)~W.en:l say s]Jcks to be -th~ We don't neeqmncynew$600consoles..Takea trip baCkin the ' ,~twith a few great gaming systems: .

.-..

.

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\

Terminalleel-uood-ism

- Ttl,,,... Jill 11

string bikini-styled underwear and .. metal ,vest, who falls over when ttat· tled.

Zatoichi also has drama; The storyline ofthe traveJling~sha girls, " theirotigiil,pWposeandtheirstofyo( ,revenge is surprisingly touching. An~ other subplot deals with theonly~ . skilled s~uraiinthevillage, theassas- ' Sin~for-hirewhoseback-storyiricludes , a sick;wife and a grodgeheldfrom his days as a samurai~in-training.

And then there's the ending. Hope- " fully I'm not being culturally ignorant when I' say I was not expecting a - J~panese version of Bring inDo N~is.e,

Ify~~~seepthe~erforTheBlil1d' ' Swo.an:Z(ltoiibi;'lgti.'d t;eforg;.~e~"" (d~th~kingtllattPlSiSst3~aard ~u~ , tar'ictioQ~adv;entUre'; hero ~e~J,;;>h;'"

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Japab~lIe~~ot~actot1'akeshli~' • Kitano tQolt/ hot;Qethe audience: ' awards at both the Torohto Film Festival and the Veruce Film Festival""and it's not hard tosee: why, Kitano;s film is,asaIIlurai,movie~" that'd,efies expectation; There, is ,no' cerernonialbowingbeforeafight..There ate no elab~raieand elegandychoreographed demonstrations of fighnng' ' skilL If anything, Kitano~gives the impt~ssion that, by definition,the' best swordsmen appear as ifthey ate haidlymQ-ving at all (i.e. they're so qwck, we can'tseewhattheydo as they , do it aAd can Gnly marvel at the~e­ s~ts). And while there aredetnonstrations of expertise,withthe sword, it is not illustrated by the preCision of the tlghtefand how economical and speedy h,isme.vements are,ratherthan how many people he kills, or how gruesomely. ' Zatoi<;hi (played byTalre!lhiKlumo , underhis screen name BeatKitano)is'

, BringinDoFNnktodrawthismoVieto adose. ' " ,This anachronistic dance number 'was a lot ()t fun to watch, though it' does lift the audience out ofthe story; when the principals of the story start 'tap~daricing, it gives ,the feel of a cur~ Takesl1i HBeat" Kitano wrote, directed and,stars8$'thiblind swordsman in Zatoichi. , tain call. Havirlg said that, the scene the bIIDd sWordsman, a 6ghter of 'small}a~ese~Whereth~story The movie also manages to be do.es bring the energy level up and a, exceptioflalskillwhotravelsfromtoWn takes place: , funny: For example, whilein the local smile the lips of the audience. toto~ m;iling his liVing gambling Much lllre,Amc:ricatdi}mmaker, gambling hQuse, Zatoichi is asked if All told, Zatoichi defies~ategoriza-, (his heiUioggives him atu!dge.;mth the Quentin Tarantino,Kitafio's skill lies he'll be betting - the blindsW'ordstion. Its characters are both classic and dice) and giving massagell (swords- 'not in story but in style- and this man repliestha~ he'll "watch" a litde novel; the story is both familiar and ~na1HIiasseur - it has.a certam ring 'movie has:style 'to' spare. 'Whether first. -~ore obvious hw::nour comes fresh; it's a samuiai movie and yetit's to it). Against expectation. Zatoichi depicting Zatoi¢hiputtering alorig a 'from characters sllc~ as the ~ei&:h: something else..Kit3no has created. a appears not asa dashingher6 with dark road with his walking stickwhile bour's idiot son who rurisarocind fllm that's thoroughly stylish, wcitd' rippling muscles, but as a small arid' armed men wait in the shadows, the screaming while charging with aspear andwonderful-a moyie thatd6e:sn't unassuming,older ~ soft~spoken melan~oly.dancing o£the ~has or ,-:-, aJ()tl~ss', tbreateni(lg ;when: ?ne fi! ta,ny mould. '.' 'and hlnIible, With a bleaeh~bloI1(rdye ' ' the rensiori'fuThe iocal sake hoiise, it considers that he's aJ.arge teen~ boy jobthatisstrikinglyoutofplaceinthe ~ is clear that Kitano is a master ofstyle. we~g an ensemble consisting of sl~ong@imprint.uwaterloo.<;a ,

A,true ArttericanDietCoke' Head," table of publications ~ we're not exactly talking the New yoJ: Tzineshere: ButMary,.Kateis recovettngata clinic' that specializes ,both in eating disorders and dnig addiction, so it's not totally'outsidethe realm of possibil~ " ity.Let'sjustrefertoitasher"alleged" substance abuse problem. " A m()tlth ago, things se~ed to be ' Appatently;.Ashley.is concerned going great for Mary-Kate Olsen;Aloverhersistef>s well-being. Much has though het and her sistei's~latest film been written about her caring interhad been it critical and boxofficefail~ ,ventiofrin which she tried to get Mary, ure, the Olsen star powet was still 'Kate back on the road to recovery.I flying high. She 'had just co-hosted imagine this confrontation as follows: SNL,gotren her ownstar on the Hol"Ashleyl Ho~can I; like, possibly lywood Walk of Fame and was planbalanceallofmycommitmentS?We've ning to attend the University ofNew 'got our clothing line to design, tween Yorkin the fall. Herintended areas of "cosmetics to develop,nextf"eature film focus: history and the cUlinary arts. ' flop to create~ .. I'mswiunped!".

Butatteran appeanince on Oprah" ' "Say M,K, have you tried eating?" in which one twin seem~d noticeably c "Hah; stop!¥ou know the coke more ,emaciated than, the other, ru- ,kills my appetite." '~' mours began to spread that an Olsen ''Well you'll never bea chefwith an ' sister might have.al1. eating disorder. atritudelike that," , Sincetheylooked.soalike,itwas kind I J.ike the Olsen twins, I really do.' oflliu:dtpfeePrtrackofwhichonewas Actually,Iha~eQ.greatdealofrespect sick. Was the skinny one noteatitig? for them::at tQeage of 18, they're Or~as the slightly h~ftier5)ne just ., alreadybecotpingbeautifulandinteltryi11gto catch up? A shortw.hilelatei, ,llgentbtj.sines~q!TIen, so don't think M.K.checkeClhers(,!lfirttothe(;irque" that I'm being maliciously hatefUl. , Lodge in Utah, seerDingly'confitming: And I don't mean to make light of a reports ofanorexia~ " ' serious health problem either. These is where the plot, (althO}1gh a.rc;: reaIpeqplewith real isSues. ObviunfortunatelyforMary~I<ate,nother ously drug addictioniS,~ pretty' big waisdine)rhlckens.Accordingto "deal, but,yo!lfiaye to adtnit thif it's Weekfy ~d In TONch',thagazines, it's ,prettyscandalous. ' notanotexia at all. Don't worry kids, 'It appearstha:t f~r Mary-Kate - Aunty Olsen is just on cocaine.

Olsen, and I'm quite sure for many of Granted,thesearen~tthemqstrepu~ ,her peers, the pressures of being'a

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celebnty are too much to handle. , , We can't possibly ,imagine what her life is like, but rest assured that it' is a hectic one. She needs to balance overwlielriling success, the constant eye' of a hungry media, a long-term relationship andhalfofa preteen b~-' ness empire - all the while in sparkly lip gloss and those cutci' new high , heels. I'm totally seri6us when lsay that celebrity lifeis difficult. What is a girl to dG? Cocamereally is the diet of choice for today's ¥oung HO,llywood.

The Olsen twins have alWays been media darlings. In fact, this might be the first piece of negative publicity to cometheit;way. Today's headlines cafi be tomottow'gtrash, buttney can also stick ::u:ound fory~ to come. ' In afewweeksthe future ofMaryKate ruidAshleywill be <iecided. An eatingdisorderstoty clirl bc;:.Sptminto a heartw:an:n4lg tale of recovery, but, drug addiction is another matter entirely. Parents:'might nQt want t:hcir ten-year-olds 1?uyingtOothpaste arid ~tati,onary endorsed by adrog addict.

Recoveringfrom this ~daloould , take years, but the public can be sUr'prisingly forgwmgto attractive young starlets whoappearvictimizedbytheir _ own fame. Then: again. we 'can 'be cynical about Hollywood babes gone bad. '<You're in big trou' -ble mister!'"

amazingly

• dcarey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca . , '

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Imprint

16

R~gga~versus ~'

I

ReJigae Gold '"

VariOllS Artists;":';':'

2004

a~ts

Socaversus Feist

on your experience) ofeither the Caribbea11 orawatetpark"'::"'- both pleasant th~ugl1ts wl!enyoU're a poor student whohahgs·out at thei.r<;cery " store for ilie.~ conditioning:'You know you do,don'tdenyit-, we saw IOU. there !a.stTuesday. Yeah, lhat's . ~hat we ~ught;[IBl " ' "

Part, of the :innual $1~w ofplug-ahdplaypartymixes, this compilation from ,reggae vets VPRecords features 19 ttacks from acts like Elephant M!lfl, Beenie Man and CNN, Whether Rcg'gae GoldaCtuanygets your party started ,ornotproh,ably depends on yow:.:taste in,~usiqbut there's no denying that Feist-.;Le.t #Die the rhythm~driven, bass-heavy tunes Toronto singer/songwriter Leslie , on this CD q:eate a sultry, summery : Feistwears eccentrici~well. LetIt Die , vibe. [IB] de4vers easy li~tening jazz, acoustic material (th~Bee Gees,RonSexsmith) weepers and '80s.FM pop with amaz_ Various Artists ...... Soca Gold 2004 ing directness. "Mushaboom" is a ' '. is impeccable. Comparisons to- Cat, Inspli:ed byTrinidad'and Tobago's love song WithtamPourtne and Power ana Julie Doiron are no- . annual C~val,joca Goldplays like a handciaps ,ass~bledwlth enough ,bramers, although Feist seems to be iOnoce~ce and grangeur to suggest havjng more fun With her gloom. So .morelight~hearted version, of i~s will the listener. Stunning. [MS] " Bjorkcollab({ta,tingwith RaffiDig the _a,bove-mentipned label-mate; Reggae Gold. Less bas,s7heavy, more rhy$mi~ French-IqUagelaserkeyhoardtrackl 'ft ,',' • lanBlechschmidt, Imprint staff cally comple; and very participatory, , Th(!$econdhalfofthediscismade Mark Stratf9rd, Imprint staff ,Soca Go!dWill.r~d you (depending · up of cover songs, and her: choice of . . /

Mixt~pe Masterpiece:~,a backpacker's gui4~ tp rap Brendan Burrows SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

About lOyears ago,.amoveinent be~ . gao across white suburban streets everywherethitmadeito~yforeducated

folktolisteD:torap because ofthe nonoffensive, "CoolMan!!" lyrical content. Todaythllt movement is commonly knoWn'as backpack rap.

Beastie Boys- "Root Down"

The 'song by fhrmer bad~ass, leather jacke~ torin' white rap pioneer~ that inVited kids everywhere to drop the , skate for it second and feel th.e beat.

The song could be the orip anthem that merged skate bOOd culture with the beat-boy style. It still holds today as the beads tight and the message is sioiple .and universal "put the ~oot down.~· . .

. A Tribe Called Quest,~"Can I Kick It?" .

ThisW!l,sthesbngthllthadsul)\i:rb~~ ites eVeryWheresayfug "I don't really lik~ rap, btitTriije is cool." The'messageoft:h(!,song ond~ againis~pie

FRIDAY,JULY 16,2004

-invitingkids@fallraceSandereeds '. to "Kick It." Wlththe beat t~ Lou Reed's ''Walk on the WildSide" in the background, this ~ckis a beat-boy's dre~. / ,

Tom l:Ianks experie"ces a failure to commUnicate.

Flight of fantasy .dodges disaster Serena Wong

his omrupresent security cameras, Navorski seems to havea fulllife at the airport. He makes friends with tlJ.e TheTmninaicouldhavebeenatlisaster . stiff and even becomes a bIt of a Gang Starr~l'Moment ofTruth" ofamovie.Thepremisd~veryloosely . legend after a dramatic showdown . based onthe iifeofMerhan Nasseri, a with D~on. ' ·'. This song was in Dave Miqa's video game, which is pre~ much whyitis back and contemplate shit to, whi~his man stuck living in all airport termi; Navorski also finds himself servmore than qualified to be in this list. a bllck-packer's main hobby, nal. . ingas amessenget for lovesickairpbrt Guru raps with his hard and fratlk In the hands ofless tal~nted writ-worker Enrique (Diego Lima)and the _ 'style over a laid' back beat that is,.aweGenuisj GZA-"Liquid Swords" ers,al,esseXR,erienceddirectorandless ,object of1!is affections, an immigra. some to do 3905 to, be it in the virtual B~yanyt:hingfro~thefirstround. charr:ping actOts, this film cou4i have tioq .offi<;ial. niuned Tottf;!s ~ (Zoe world of video games or going off a bfWu solo albums could b~ considbeen oneof thosedis~cringly conSaldana): Amelia, affight-atteriH.ant half-pipe at a park near you. . trived, melodramatic and sugarymovplayed 'by Catherine Zeta-Jones both ered for this slot, but GZA's irttro ies. Fortunately, The T erndnalis smart sweetens and complicates Navorski's (complete with the Shaolin movie and skillfull:y made with what seems life. . sample) has a special aesthetic quality MaddVillafu - "Rait1bows" MadVillain's respective members MF that justmak.es this shit seem like the There's no denyingt!t:tt The Tef7!It'like a ~~ 1n,dliIgence nowitdays:pa~ DQOM and. Mad lib have been flyest 1;hing this side of the skate park. tience. nal has its cliches arid implausible GZA's ongoing use of extended The story centres around Viktor-~ovie-"tl:\()tOents (such as the conven· around theindepen:dentscen:e forquite ... some' time now. .And backpack rap metaphor 'in _comparing Shaolin Navorski (tom Hanks); an Eastern-lent drug-scam Dixon manages to . .fansevet)'Where not only knOW them· . ~ordplayt6 an MCs lyrical methodEuropean man who arriv'es at:New imcoverwhilegivinghisbosses.atour).

JFKairport to find thatdut:ing It is arso unpossible to deny that the York's ologymakes perfectbackgroundmu"p\ltareqUicklYD;lakingtheirillaugura! his time ID the air, his ( fictional) home laws ofreality and logic are sometimes · alb1;liD. ,J,lvlad"VJ]Jalny an U11derground sic for either kicking back and smoking nudged to the sidelines. . a ta~, or just blading around the city CQuntry ofKralmzhia has undergone classic.. ...... ' ........ .' ._" But because of.Steven Spielberg's a tbilitaiy coup. Since the statuS of Theideaclsingle '~b~ws" is with headphones .on; deep with ?l~-school PtftO<:>6. bites ,.

Krakozhia is U11ciear, hi~f passport is skilful storYtelling' arid Hanks's endearing portrayal of Navorslci, the nolongervalid. This means he cannot arid ~omic~qook metapWt~that are Talib KweJi - "Get By" perfectforanyon~whb~t~tokick . This mixtape wouldn't be real ifl set foot on American soil, nor ca.n he audience is willing to suspend their didn1tmention atleastone ofthe Cats disbelief arid entertain this fliglit of return !loine.

Airportofficials,led by FrankDixon fantasy. . frOmBlackStarr~houndoubtedlyare the reigning champions of backpack (StiUlley Tucci), to Navorski Spielberg takes his time deVeloj:>rap. Although thf;! song is meant to . that he is f!ssenrially stranded -at the ing the story, giving the audience a . address the..po~and crime con- airportuntilfurthernotice. Navorski's chancetockvelop feelings for the chat__ cerns ofinner city communities (eg., English is limited to such useful touracters. Hanks is believable as the hon.~ ''WeSellCracktoOurOwoouttathe ist gUidebook phrases as, "Where do est; trusting and guileless Navorski I buy the Nike shoes?" ' and even manages to pull offa fairly back ofour homes''), it also proVides adear and important message to the convincing accent (no Captain Crmlli'r LuckiJy,it Seems Navorskiis a fast backpack rapp-er: ''Wow, man, Qther le<ttneraswellasbeingpatientand very Mandolin repeatnere). ~oplehaveproblems. That's reality." . agaptable, Over the next little while, The audience likes Navorski so Navorski fashiot;ISabedroom for himmuch that they're willing to cast aside self from an unused wing of the airdoubts that someone could really pick port (gate 67) complete with his own up English at the remarkable rate he fridge made 'from an unused soda doesandgetsomeoftheluckybreaks vending machine.

• he gets. . NavorskihasnoAmericanmoney, In addition to H~s' Navorski, and presumably his Krako~ cur-" this' film has delightful supporting ,rencyis no longer convertible, but he characters. My personal favourite is soon finds ~source of income. An Gupta (KumarPallana) the elderly and industrious man, he Indian janitorwho suspects observant· c.... ' . h • ..., ....... qwcklyupgrades from his init:iai.meals Hanks is a CIA spy. i .ilre.ll'fldi&. ..... .ofketchup-and-ctackersandwiches,..."..Because of the c1everwriting, the ~~ . ~~ the'c;>nlyfreeitems at the food courtcharacters and theendingthat,despite .

• ii_.~jir iCldi". to Burger King foOd andlaterto firstbeing unrealistic, still makes an audimeals. encecheer; this is one feel-goorlmovie class While D~on(concerned that that actually makes you fed good. r~fIOO..26'..671 , Navorski's sitll!ltion is jeopardizing slywong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca his upcoming promotion) fumes into W'WV/.oxford~minars.com IMPRINT STAFF

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exPlain

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'~COfFEE AND 'CIGARETTES

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one's forearm into a keyboard. accepted caffeinelevelind~afcoffeeis The gran~~ of~patent";'as, 0.03 per tent, ~naturallyoccurrfug .' especially surpri~ingconsidering IBM deca£uu1:endysportsO;06percentcaf•. apparendy pr()ved the da.ta trarlsfer~ feine tontent;butitis thougbtthatthis . ring l?roperties of the human body in 'can be reduced-through simple cross 1966: ' breeding: However,gerieticallyi:nodi~ fying. the plantwilln1ake it lose the "orgflnic"appeaL .- , .

Hot dispute over decaf coffee Christine Lour~iro.

LDavenport, Lauren Foxan~ Lau~a' Katsirdakis ' -

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Today, there are m:am'processes for .Lemon: Refreshing summer drink and HIYmjcrobiocide creatingdecafcoffee.J'here's the "e~o­ peanptocess," whlchinvolves washing Australian researchers testing the an~ , coffee beans in methylene chloride .IMPRINT STAFF which leeches out the caffeine. There's . cientSouth-East Asian practice of alsoaprocesstliatinv:olVes'usingsteari:l usinglemon or lime juice as a spermiMicrosoft nOw owns your skin andhotWarettotefnovechenlicals frOm cide have discovered a. solutiop of (well, not really)' thecoffeehean.

TheaLffeineisremoved lemon juice that can kill the. human . ' from the hot watet using an activated i.rnnlunodeficiencyvirus. " , The United States gqve~entgranted charcoalfilter, thenthebeans aresoaked In laboratory tests, Melbourne UniMicrosoft a patentforhuman skin'on imliges show Saturn's rings in hitherto unseen dataR. inthehot~tertorecap~the&voUr. . versity's Pro£ Roger Short founda 10 J~e22. No, Bill Gates didn't make a 'Hqwever,anaturallyoccuringcof- ' percentsolutionofJemon juice reduced generous contributio_n to George W. , A coalition otactivists arerailying Theringsarebelievedbyscientiststo fee plant which is endowed with an HIVr(:plica1ionbytwo-tlili:ds,wda20 . around.the cause in some states, call- have fonnedas ~ result of debris from Bush's re-election campaign (at least equally .naturallow caffeine content .. percentsolutiondestroyed up to 90 per ing the mo.vement 'the computer ate colliding comets and moons being not as far as Imprint has discovered); <+fit of the virus. " . , has r~cendy been discovered. The anmyvote.'InMarylandthispastTues-' drawn into orhlt around the planet. and the patentwas actually for the use nouncement was made by Paulo "Pu~somethingfairlyacidicin of the bodym transmission ofelectriday, over 100 attivi~ts gathered outCassini's UltraViolet Imaging Spec[the vagirtal]~ea can cause quite a.bit ··side.theState hQuse to oen;land that cal data, butthe s~ftwaregiant'smost 'Mazzafera 'of the pniversidade trograph(LNIS) reVealed that this deofirritatidn," Short explained. ''That recent attempho broaden their intel· . Estadual de Campimt$ innrizil. Don't voting machines be equipped with hrisranges from tihydusiparticles to 10 expect to see naturally occuririg caftheoretkally can enhance the rate at· printers before the upcoIniog presi, lectu;al property bast:' still seems like it meter-wiPe bouldeis. Since our solar which HIV is transmitted, so. it's a' dentiljlelection., ' ... , .... couldcofnefromascience-fictionnovel. ·fcine free coffee the;! shelves soon: . . systemisbdievedtohlJ.vefonnedwhen though the <llscovery was' made in delicate balance betWeentryingto gisAnd boy, is it stirring u:p~ lot 'af So.me states; $Uchas tJ~ stili use ' duS~.andic~~ands'cirClingthe soo cOadebate;·, . .

Brazil, the.planis are indigenous to able the virus but not alSo increasing aprinchcardbased~YS~A~CClrding" lescedintoplanets;this~yhelPscien-, Ethiopia, whi~h has lead to an inter". the likelihood of trinsmitting /it]." · TheproposalprGnaruyres~esthe to campaign organizers however, ral- - tists understand how solar systems are. esting legfll struggle. ' . ' lies were held, in 19 staies,deman~g . CI:eatl:rl. .. " Despite, we protnisingcia,b r~,ults, .~,pgl:J.tt9~YY!flOPth~~(!.oftli~,~~ ~v.{ body3.Sach~elforpassingd~c " ':''"'''There~iirein~J~~'i~W'~''tbilt itWillhevery difficult to te~t thesoluthatthe1'fovemberelectionprovidea .

The rings extend more than seem toindicatethatEthiopiaruJrights tidilin ptactice. The test would have to papettrail.

190,000 kil~metres and are 1.5 kilo~ta petween devices. The patent also over the plants, but th(:se laWs are not acqu,ire:i:beresults of ove! 10()wotnetl . mcludes therigb.ts to use sweatas'an The disastert:hitresUltedin,F1orida metres thick. The middle ring, known electrical cOIlduit. Micr~sofienVisions retroattiye,anddifferentsides areclattn- .' and iee 110wpften they pick qp,BIV. when the 2000 elections were held is as .the A ring, waS tevealedin spectacu- which is notvery ethicatIyviable. . not the orily difficulty protesters fear. using the huma:n body's conductive ing the coffee plants were,harvested Iar detailbrthe pictures. The interior; fromEthiopjaatadifferenp:ime,Ethioproperties to link a range ofelectronic The {)n1y way toltvoid transmit~ SOme claim thepaper1ess voting syswhich is ted, was quite dusty. The edge tJng HIVI AIDS .is, toabst:ain from, tems are simply poorlyprogranu;ned of the' A ring is. filled with ice and · devices, from cell pliont;s, topagers, to pian officials ;nege thatMazzafera took personal digital assistants. But as the 'the plants fromijthiopia in the <80S; sex. However, given there ire over 25 . andassuclt,arepronetohackers,ttaud . 'appeared to be turquoise. in colour, · wliile'Mazzafera claims the plants are ' m:il1ion women with HIV,in Africa scientificcommunityat~~speculates and software bugs.

Two of the inner rings, B ring and decendantsof specirDens taken from . .alone, there might be a call for the use on the future. ~s of this patent .' Cring, werealsotedanddustytowru;d ..

- as ",ell as its validity, Microsoft clahns it has Ethiopia by the UN in 1964 and 1965. ,ofleinon juicepessaries in developing' . Saturn: ultimate .Lord of the the centre ~th icy blue edges. .

The ,dispute has much at stake, , nations.

Rrgs . notyet discussed its potential and that lhe rings were believed to have th~ techflo19GY does not currendy link with decafcoffee sales acc6untlng for fonned a few hUndred riilllion years The what. ate your .who now? to. any particular proouct curtendy in . roughly 10 per ~ent of the multi~b:il­ Dusty things: under the bed, beh.ifld ago. That's' plenty, of time to gather lion dollar coffee industry. It is also development.· " the fridge, textbooks the syllabus recdu~t for the occasional photo oppor"' The . Taipei Times' speculates that thought by some that a naturally caftunity. .

S~metiines it is healthy and valid to ommended but course never used, linking electronic devices through th¢ ·feine~free coffee would increase sales f~artechilology; Take coniputer-votand finally, o!lSaturil~s rings. ·body could lead to the 0pt!ration of a1Ilongthose concerned with purchasing systems in the Uriited States for OnJune 30, the Cassinispace probe cloure.iro@imprint.uwaterloQ.ca many gagdets iIsitlg iii single keypad.. ing "organi<;1t foods. example. Remember thelasf presihas recorded some of the most te.mdavenport@imprint.uwaterioo.ca The patent may also make it pos'. ReguW;t roasted coffeebeans,con- dential election?Remembet;Florida? markable pictures ever captured of Ifox@imprint.uwaterloo.ca tain two percentcaffeine,whereas the lJhhuh.. sible to use electrical impulses to turn Saturn's rings. . laura@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Mi~hael

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aylor adds size and speed to roster

as ethall Warriors snag three to recruits for '04~'05

For his next pick on defense Taylor recruited another player with signifi- . cant Junior A experience. Shawn Second-year head coach Karl Taylor Germain will join the Warriors this continues to make sweepingchanges fall after spending ,this past season to the UW men's hockey team. This with the Grant MacEwan College time the improvements will be made Grifftns of the Alberta Colleges Aththrough his recruitingof13 newplayletics Conference. The St. Paul, AI~ team, the 2004 Southwood Invitational Rod Mclachlan ers from across the country. The Warberta native, who comes in at 6'1" IMPRINT STAFF Tournament, the2004 Pine Ridge Tourrior~' 2004 recruiting class consists of and 195 lbs., also playecl for the nament, the2004 Wildcat's McDonald's ,four defensemen, seyen forwards and Chilliwack Chiefs of the British Makingthe right choices when it comes TOurnan:1entand the 2003 second team. . Cotwo goaltenders. lumbia Hockey League. assistant captain of the Wexford Raidto selecting new recruits to join your W'hite brings astl"Ol1gperimetergame ers of the OUA JuniQr A Hockey This outstanding crop of players "Shawn will become one of the to the Warriors alongwith long-range team is never an easy task for coaches, confirms that UW's decision to switch . . most dedicated players to wear a WarLeague. The 6'3", 200 lb. all-star forshooting skills and solid ball distribubut Warriors men's basketball head the head coach's position from partriors jersey," Taylor offered. ''Work , ward recorded 24 goals and21 assists tion.Likeallnewrecruitswhoarehoping coach Tom Kieswetter seems to have (45 points) in 46 regular season cone time to full-time is the right move. ethic and dedication is what Shawn made three excellent roster selections togain as much playing time as possible, Evidence of this is that this year's crop prides himself on, which ate values tests. , for this upcoming season.

White h.'lS a strong work ethic on the oftalentis from as faraway as B.c. and our program is building and striving The Warriors have also added right ''We will be returning nine out of hardwood. the Maritimes. for." winger Frank Fazio of the MJAHL. our top ten players from 2003-2004. I "Danis quick, sttong,has greatskills On defense, Taylor has roped in In two seasons with the BCHL's Fazio has spent the spent the past am very excited with the addition ;;f and is an excellent shooter with outformer Kitchener Rangers blueliner Chiefs, Germain played in 120reguseason with the Moncton Gagnon sL'lndingcourtawareness," said Coach these three new faces to our line-up for Alex MacDonell. lar seasongames Beavers where he was a blue-collar the upcoming season. Theywill be very , Kieswetter.¡ Standing 6'5" and and tallied 3 goals powerforward who liked to dish out important to the success of our pro~ White is enrolled in the recreation weighinginat210 and 24 assists checks and grind it out in the comets. and leisuie program at Waterloo and gram this year and inthe future," said I'Shawnwili lbs, MacDonell along with 85 Last season he scored 27 goals and 24 will commence his studies this fall.

Kieswetter in a press release by UW's should make an "I chose Waterloo because of the become one of the , penalty minutes. points in 48 games for the Beavers athletics department In 39 Chilliwack while recording 190 penalty n1.inutes. immediate impact options it gave me and the versatility On July 9, Kieswetter released his most dedicated forUW. post-season Waterloo will also be home for Waterloo's program offered," com2004 recruiting class list. Highlighting games here-' Sean Roche, a 6'2" 1931b. forward L,'lstseason the that honour roll of names is 6'8" Dan . meated White. ",I have a hard work players to wear Ottawa native corded a goal and from the nation's capital. This past ,Oh from Glenlyon Norfolk School in ethic, a positive attitudetowardsbasketa Warriors j~rsey. played for the 13 assists along season Roche scored 37 goals and 32 B.c. The 220 lb. postwill be talcingcivil ball and I'm looking to fit in wherever coach needs me."

Rangers in the with 39 penalty assists in 55 games for the Kanata engineeringtllis fall at Waterloo. Oh,a Work ethic and Ontario Hockey minutes.

Stallions oftheCentralJ unior Hockey Nathan Tucker, a 5'9" point guard native ofSeoul, South Korea, has been dedication is what ' League (OHL).

Jim White, Jr. 'A' League. who hails from Kitchener, rounds out invited to the Vancouver Island rePriorto that expec captain of the The Warriors will also welcome the Warriors' recruiting class. Tucker gionalall-stark>am for two consecutive Shawn prides rience,MacDonell the Elmira Sugar Kings' Jeremy Truro Junior A has gained extensive skills in Kingston, seasons. Coach Kieswetter was also himself on, which BearcatsinTruro, played for the Machin of the Mid~western Ontario Ontario during tlle 2001-2002' and impressed byOh's athletic geneticsBrampton BattalNova Scotia, is Junior B league and Matt Levicki of his father played for the South Korean 2002-2003 seasons while playing for are values our ion and the North the final the GnintMacEwan College Griffins national team.

St. Lawrence College. During his short. program is building defenseman to of the ACAA. Machinhad96 points Bay/Saginaw time there he was picked team MVP "Dan is a strong, athletic shot club. be recruited this . (30 goals and 66 assists) in 47 games and first team east blocker, with huge and striving for." , year. He is cur- last season for the Sugar Kings. In his His majorjU11potential," exOCAA all-star - Karl Taylor rently in' his last junior season Le\Ticki, who is a lor experience plained coach ~ce, tournament UWmen's hockey head fourth year with centreman, recorded 85 points (39 I'I am very excited something which MVP four times Kieswetter. coach on one of his new, big the Bearcats and â&#x20AC;˘ goals and 46 assists). the Warriors have A(terwatching with the addition of and voted to five recruits for 2004-2005 is also their capbeen lacking -In the crease the Warriors have tournament allsom~ video footthese three new should serve l1.im tain. added Nick Pannoni, a former NHL star teams. Prior age of Oh in 'acwellin clearing out On offense draft choice ofthe DettoitRed Wings. tion, Kieswetter faces to our line!"up to his time at St. Waterloo has setured6'1 ", 190 lb. left the front of the net. During his time Pannoniis a big goalie at 6'0" and 170 was convinced that LawrenceCollege, for the upcoming in the OHL he recorded 3 goals, 24 wingerJordan Brenner. The Waterlbs.; nevertheless, he was selected in Tuckerplayed for he needed to woo assists and 282 penalty minutes. loo native captained the Aurora Tithe sixth round by the Detroit Red this young star to season. They will be GrandRiverCol- ' ,"Alex is a great person who-will gers of the 0 HA J U1UOr A league to Wings (195 Dverall)in the 2001 NHL Waterloo. But it leghte's basketball very important to add size and maturity to our defense the Royal Bank Cup nationalchampientry draft. He registered a 24~8-2 teaminKitchener. was a long wait ,the success of our onship in Grande Prairie, Alberta this corps," said head coaCh Karl Taylor in record for the, U.S. national junior untiln1.id-June for Tucker is deUW athletics press release. "He has past season. During the past year in team in 1999-2000 along with a .896 the Waterloo scribed as a pIaypro.gram this year the regular season Brenner scored 25 played in the 0 HL for fouryears learnsave percentage. Pannoni has also making guard that bench boss when . and in the future." ing from some of the best coaches in goals and added ,26 helpers. In spent two years with the Seattle creates offensive Oh then committhe league (Stan Butler, Mike Kelly, postseason play he added 7 goals and Thunderbirds of the WHL as well as - Tom Kieswetter opportunities. By ted to UW by reand Peter DeBoer). Hise.ltperiences 13 assists in 24 games. Prior to his the Moose Jaw Warriors.

UW menrs basketball head utilizinghis quickplying to his actime with the Tigers, Brenner spent ' will accelerate our rebuilding process."

UW has also added goaltender ceptance. Howcoach on his 2004-2005 ness on defence , Another key addition to the Wartwo seasons with the OHL's Barrie Curtis Darling, whols currentlywith ever, Oh seems to recruiting class applies pressure Colts franchise. rior defense corps will be Dustin the Chilliwack Chiefs of the BCHL. be more than on the ball Bati.er. Last season the 6'6", 220 lb.

Taylordrewupon his connection In his second season with the Chiefs "Nathan is exhappy with his to the east coast for his next recruit. he has compiled a 25-18 win-loss Alberta native played for the Olds ceptionally quick, smart and talented. enrolment choice.

Grizzlies of the Alberta Junior, Dave Philpott ofthe YartnouthMari- , record with a3.86 goals against averWithhis experience and explosiveness, ''Waterloo is agreatuniversitywith Hockey League. Bauer has also spent nersQftheMaritimesJuniorAHockey age and asuperb .906 save percentage. one ofthe best reputations in theworld he should make an immediate and four excellent seasons with the PortLast season"":"'" in Taylor'S first seaLeague (MJAHL) will be coming to for engineering," said Oh. . significant impact," offered coach Waterloo this season. The 6'2", 199 land Winter Hawks Of the Western son as head coach - the Warriors Kieswetter.

Next on the recruiting list is 6'3" lb. forward from Grand Falls-Windcame away with a much improved 8Hockey League (WHL). During his ''Waterloo has a good reputation guard and small forward Dan White.

14-0-2 (win~loss-tie-overtime loss) last two years in the WHL he tallied SO!, Newfoundland has also spent This local athlete attended Bluevale acaden1.ically. his agood fitformy.style record. With such an impressive array 3 goals and 9 assists while recording time with the Cape Breton Screaming Collegiate Institute in Waterloo and , ofplay and the Warriors haveareputa278 penalty minutes.

Eagles and the Moncton Wildcats of of incon1.ing talent only time will tell tion forproducinggreatpointguards," has played for his high school dub and the Quebec MajorJunior Hockey how much deeper the Warriors can "Dustin will be a stabilizing force for the Waterloo Wlldhawks for the commented Tuckerwhowill betaking League. Last seaso,n Philpott was in move into the 2004-2005 playoffs. for our defense," collllll-ented Taylor. . last five years. honours arts this fall at UW. the top lOin league scoring for Yar''With his size and maturity, Dustin White was his secondary school's - with Jiles from u;W' AthletifS will solidify_our back end for years to mouth with 23 goals and 43 assists. basketball teamMVP this "past year. As - withJilesfrom UWAthletics/Chris come. He is a guy we have been re, Next, UWsbench boss recruited Gilbert well;hewas named to the following allrmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca cruitingfor over 10 months." winger Doug Spooner who is the rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca star teams: the 2004 WCSSAA first

Rod Mclachlan IMPRINT STAFF

,

"Imprint 8po.I'IS

FRIDAY,JULY 16; 2004

Evetyoneloves the long hall Adam McGuire TWO-Mllm WARNI. I am finally out of my bitter mood.

As I am sure allthe £teq{ient~ers of Two-Minute W~ eYes, both 6f you) have noticed, I kveBeenhatiOga lot of things lately - the williains Sisters, the NBA, the Toronto Blue Jays.

And withsomuchs~in the sports world, who could blamemefoiturning my litde comer of Imprint into a biweeklybitch-fest? .' ~t just when J began to think my j~l:iews.wouldrUin my love of sp<>Jtst~er. a single night of lopgballs ~ed my faith in all things

billionlineup changes that accompany an all~star game.

And like all thlflgs of beauty, the derby's fonnulaissimple. Eightplayers -fo,l,11'fromeachleague-swingfrom the Nikes up in hopes ofhitting a small white sphere so far and J:Ugh thatitwiIl. land covered in snow. Then at the end of three rounds, the Goliath with the most home runs wins. It almost makes me want to sqatch myself' and spit.

But: aside from theneanderthalic 'fman-)Jit~ball-with:'sticI{!>coriceptthat

appeals so quickly.to the testosterone-

But a$ide fro~~thtt neanderthalic #.fmari;.

hif~ball..with-Stick~··

Baseball's HomeRun Derby.

The annual'aerby --'-: which took place on Mondily,July 12 - is far and away the best all-star game gimmickin pro sportsto(.\ay. In'fp,becausel hate all-star gam~ .Kq:much(yet another thingI'vegtipedaboutU:tapastedition), the ho~tharem exhi'b1ted derby night~ the.only thing during the ~ all-star l;>~tl1ar~1Voitli#Wilinginto: After·d;··~e uimngs of baseball is ' boring . enough without the 'seven

on

competition). Also, it doesn't hurt that the derby is more enthiaIJingthan the' game itself: ' Thereareamultitudeofreasons why the derby is so appealing to eVeryone, nottheleastofwhichis the~tmosphere surroundingthelong-ballcontest.Piay- . ers are relaxea and casual--:';' basically ·~erytbirigtheyarenotduringtheregu­ lar seaspn grind.

Also" the HomeRun Derby has proven itself as a fantastic provider of great moments in baseball.

Who coUld. forget ~ Griffey Jr., then of theSeatde Mariners, miling a derby shot so long l!1ld hard thatitleft : Baltimore's CamdenYatdsand tattooed a'haseballstichmark indentation on a Coketnachineacrossthestreetin 1994?

Then therewas SammySosa:S shots in Atlanta.in: 2000 that nt;arly took ESPN's television cani.eras. And thet} therewere Mark McGwire's SOO-plusfoot clingers that joinedJ;raffic ori the Massachilsetts tumpikeat~ 1999 derby. . .in: Boston. Alliegends,allproducing timeless moments at the HOrne Rim

out

concel?t ( ... J technical baseball purists can also find excitement in the derby.

athletic.

This ~ the night ofMajor League

participate (unliketheNBAslam-dunk

Derby.

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soakeddemograpbic, technical baseball. puristS can also find exci~ent in the derby. The event is a showcase of not only brute strength, but oftechnique as

. 'Powne!ughtin the season, theeight pru#cipantsarejU!'tbigkidstryWgtohit, the ball as faras theycan.lknowitscims . odd, but that is. why I lOve the Home. well.

Run Derby.

TheHotneRunDerby~CJ:I$es . . Butnowthatit'sover,Icangoback to hatipg the Williamses. . ., its competition fro~.the othetNorth American all-star weekend spectacles amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca because the best of the bes~ ~ctually

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VOLUNTEER Volunteers are needed;,to work with a 5 year old girl with autism. With the help of an autism specialist there is a homebase; program. PleaSe call Olga or Dan at 632-9819.

Cruickston Charitable Research Reserve needs 8-10 resource interpretation volunteers by June 7, 2004; Training sessions June 7, 14 and 21. call Patti 6509336 for info and to register.

Meals on Wheels is a not-for-profit organization that relies on volunteers to deliver hot meals locally each weekday.

Currently noon hour' delivery once a week or on a spare time basis is needed.

Call Beth 743-1471, ext. 15 or e-mail cpv-mowkw@bellnet.ca f(}r more info.

Volunteers needed - PrQject READ is searching for enthusiastic volunters' to help with their Reading Circle Program during the summer months. The position -involves weekly programs. Contact Erin Fortune at 750-3054 or eringloria@hotmail.com.

available.

May t~ilds ;lvailable for4 months ($250 May to' ,August) or 12 month leases (Septem~2t)()4;t()August 2(}OS..$450). One p~~Sp,9!"ulli.t. Unit com~ eguipp.ed :, With /tfd!e/stove and washer/dryer. SlI!~ gle roomsat,sq aviillable - ask for details.

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Weekelld cPlInsellorsand reliefstaff to workin homes for individuals withdevelRoom fur·tent f{)r aquiet individual in'~ .' . detached home neal' both universitieS;" opmental~J;hallenges~ Minimum eight- . 19th Aiin1llllCanadian poetry contest ParkiIig and all.amenitie$. p~ ciIJ)?25monthC<?ttimitmellt/aid po$itions. Send mh.prizes for local poets - $5,000 to be 5348. ., .' .... resumetoJ?onMadet,K-WHabilitation. Won';- new conteSt is open to all Cana. . . ...

Services,! 0$ Sydney'.Stteet, Kitcht:ner, dian residents and en.'try is free with closOne two bedroom and ?nethr~ bed-ON,N2G 3\12; room apartment for MayanclSeptember :-:--'-~:-'--:---:-___""":--------"'-ing date' of july 30, 2004. To enter, Now.Hiring Student FlUl,draisers! $8.50/ please send one original poem only to: 1, 2004. $395/montb/toom _ furnished or unfurnished. 746-6l27,orSOl-1486. he to WorkonCatnpus, Flexible l]le Poetry Institute of Canada, P.O; Box h!JUi's. Ritises Every 20 Sl1ifts! If you are' 5~77N Victoria, BC, V8R 6S4 or' you Quality fall, rental- a ~e well <.~ a gQod Communicator, Enthusiastic and ifiay e-mail topoetryinstitute@shaw.ca tained house with five ~ooms, ~hree Dependable, thep we want to talk to you! or fax your entry to (250) 519-0029. bathrooms, four appliances iricl~ free Ple~ apply ~ person' at· the of ' Name and address shonld be included at laundry) three car parking, Internet conDeyelopment in South Gampus Hall. .thetopof the Same page on which the . nections,15 m.inute waIkto UW, non~ Pleasemclu4eacoverlen:er,r~,dass. ,!?oemappeats•.1YPed orneady Written smokers, no P¢ts,one..}'eat'·leasemitli~· schedule, apd thrt:e references. ' ~ poems please. Entries should be July 16~ Ranking doses at 9:'!>O.a;m•. mum at $330/montb/r¥~ pmsuWities. . Hiring staff for iiJlpOsinons fQr a new, '.' p~kedno later.than July 30, 2004.

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