2005-06_v28_no16_Imprint by Editor Imprint

UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER

terldo tops Maclean's li.st again ~l!We

and Mail and Maclean's release annual' report cards thot put Canadian. universities to the test a wide system of indicators as well as reputational surveys sent out to educators, officials and corporate

.' outlets,Ma&18an'.r and and Mail. published their .ews of canadian univer. week amid the praise and .r4t1_n of students and staff. \1tterloo placed first in Maclean! . . ensive category for the fi nth time in fifteen years, thtee years after temporarily losing the honour to the University of Guelph. Calling UW a "world~ed pioneer in co-op education,." Maclean's cited Waterloo's inttOVation, faculty of mathematics . anda1ntity to integrate disciplines as factors in their decision. To reach itslaaldecision, the magazine uses

r~cruiters.

The Globe "Report Card", which relies on student evaluations of their own schools, gave UW an A + in the categories of "Overall academic evaluation of your university," "Reputation of university among employers" and "Reputation for undergraduate studies.~路 It also fared well in technology-related categories. However, respondents were displeased with the financial services, giving Cs and Ds to merit- and needs-based scholarships, help with finding part-time jobs and the overall view of financial assistance. Lack of

school spirit was also noted as one of Waterloo's weaknesses. , Prof. Richard Nutbrown, chair of the department of political science, said that, "It's heartening, very heartening, to hear that we're number one again," though he felt that in spite of the university's traditionally high rankings, "we don't do enough for students." He also discouraged students from using the Marlean's rankings as a basis for choosing their school. Commenting on.the low school spirit aspect of the Globe rankings, second-year arts student Sarah Miller said, "It's something that everyone's aware of. When you look at Queen's or Western, there's the feeling that they all have a common

goal. It's probably because they're older universities, while we haven't had time to create our identity. It's kind of sad, really." Trevor Snyder, a third-year English student, felt that the Ma&leanheputation survey was selfreinforcing: "People see our high reputation and in turn it improves. It's cyclical." Third-year religious studies student Avril Dobson disagreed that Waterloo lacked school spirit: "If people actually come here and experience it, there's spirit. It just matters who you ask." Noting the Palestinian Week movie playing in the SLC's great hall at the moment, she said, "We have a lot of things going on everyday. I would disagree

with the Globe and Mail" Some have attacked the Globe report as being fundamentally flawed. One reader on studentlifecentre. com noted that "the Globe's methodology is seriously skewed. It's based on voluntary student responses, and as anyone who works in marketing Can tell you, the people who respond to surveys are not representative of the general population." Another issue with the Globe survey is that many differences appear negligible. None of the universities on the list recieved below a B-, with most of the grades being B+ or A-. cmiller@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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·sed@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor: Jacqueline McKoy News Assistant: Jessie Quinn

~iberal ,

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MP discusses issues facing students

leadership roundtable and ~tting feedback regarding post-secondary education. The most popular lhe Honourable Navdeep Bains, . topic of discussion in Waterloo and across the country, he noted, l'\Jember of Parliament for Missisis tuition and funding levels for · -Brampton South, visited both students. · and Wilfrid Laurier University When asked what he thought ldst Tuesday. He's visiting as part about young people getting involved his cross-country tour visiting in political life, he said "Go for it, st-secondary institutions to help absolutely. Don't ever let your age vernment better understand be a deterrent; don't underestimate issues. At 28 years old, Bains yourself and don't underestimate e youngest Liberal MP and this your peers. Build a good team around is part of his new appointment you." liamentary secretary to Prime This youngLiberall\fP, who loves 'ster Paul Martin. As the parliamentary secretary his job, has taken advantage of a trend in the House of Commons tile prime minister's office Bains that sees the average age of members 't have a specific legislative at around 55 years. "They reflect , but it is his job to liaise with the baby boomer generation that is to address emerging issues aging by the day and eventually will cus on the national policy retire," he said. rm. "When they leave there's going hat's the exciting stuff," said to be this void and it's up to us to "When we develop a policy fiU that void ... so are in a great rm we have various different position when they come out and . .. One of the things that have a few years of experience re involved in is trying to engage - they can jump into politics Canadians in the development because there will be a huge void the policy platform. So the next platform that we have will there. I think it's good for the country to bring in a different input from young Canadians perspective." coast to coast on issues that Running for office is not the evant to them and concern only way that youth can get in. s was in Waterloo on Monvolved. ''The best way to do it, the easiest step, is to gt.t lnvo~ed int ovember 7, attending a youth

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and concrete doesn't seem quite as good a mix as say, and cement. But for Mary and 13 other female engit means coming together and g off their feminine side to oney for Sledgo, the 2007 te Toboggan Race Team. rlier this month, -Weston her colleagues, all from the engineering class of 2007, put eir textbooks for a day and cd for a photo shoot. Sledgo bled the photos from the into a calendar that will soon . able for sale to the university pulation. The calendar features the 14 · posing in black and white pt.otos totally unrelated to engin.m·tlg. ''This calendar," states the o website, ':is to represent the n of engineering as women ot only as engineers." .ar Macklin, one of theW-omen ed in the calendar, explained it gives the women a chance to down the stereotypes attached with studying civil engineering, so }'~won't find any hard hats or mudd coveralls in this calendar. wanted to show our beauty . '; that we are women and proud tdbe women." _ ; Debates often arise that calendars f.turing women often objectify ~. However, Women in Engin~ Director Toni Carlisle said, "I the pictures are tasteful and aiPropnate, I think that is excellent tbt these engineering women get teshow their feminine side, which

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IMPRINT STAFF

Canada

JEFF ANSTETTT

Liberal MP Navdeep Bains visits Waterloo as part of his crosscountry tour. Bains is visiting post-secondary institutions across Canada to better understand youth issues. campaigns because what happens is that you get exposed to a local campaign and yo\} get exposed to the national campaign as well," he said. "I think if you want to be a backroom person, a player, and be involved in policy and communications and decision-making ... those are very important components. Get inyolved at t}le grassroots !lP-d work yout way up,".

Bains, having a self-confessed "good turban day," leaves students and youth a great deal of hope for the future of our country. ''It's very interesting to be given these responsibilities in light of my age and I think it's true of the prime minister's strong commitment to the youth agenda," he said. rtemmer@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

ngineers create calendar to raise money stereotypically gets ignored." ''The photos look very classy," mentions Macklin. ''There's nothing too overly sexy ... Everyone looks good." Weston, the organizer of the calendar, added the calendar also gave the women a chance to get together outside the classroom and do something they had never done before, which turned out to be fun and "brought all the [women] closer together." Although Weston felt a bout of nervousness when first photographed, she was pleased at the end. "It turned out well,'; she explained, "so it was very gratifying." As with any project, the calendar had its share of obstacles. Sledgo hired the services of a professional photographer and since the toboggan team's financial situation is still in its beginning stages, getting money was fairly tough. They were also running on a tight deadline, and only had one chance to do it since some of the women were going on exchange. The project almost got shut down due to these problems, but managed to pull through. Sledgo is only one in a long line of concrete toboggan teams at uw. Every year, members of the fourth year civil engineering class ~in the construction of the concrete toboggan, which then competes in the GreatNorthern Concrete Toboggan Race (GNCTR). Since the first one in 1974, the GNCTR has been held in a different city every yeat. The competition sees university students from all over Canada competing to create the fastest, most creative, and innovative toboggan made of

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Shown above is one of the pages from the calendar featuring the women of the 2007 civil engineering class. concrete that weighs les~ than 300 pounds and can carry five riders. In the 2005 race, uw, represented by The Pirates of Waterloo, came fifth overall and won an award for top speed, at 75 kph. The 2006 team, the Waterliigers, will be competing iat the GNCTR06 in Montreal. Sledgo does not compete until February 2007, but is getting a head start at fundraising with the calendar. The team h6pes to sell over 200 calendars, the proceeds of which will be used to fund construction of the toboggan and travel expenses to get to the competition, likely to be held in western Canada.

Although the women did not express any interest in future modelling prospects, they will certainly remain active with upcoming fundraisers for the team. Boggan burgers continue to be sold on Thursdays on the CPH green, with the potential of a silent auction and a dinner event with live- music being held in the near future. The calendar can be pre-ordered on Sledgo'swebsite atwww.eng.uwaterloo.ca/-gnctr07/ for $10. The calendar will be released within the next two or three weeks and will be sold for $15 in the CPH foyer. jangda@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Brian Diesbourg made the kick that mattered Thursdav October 27. After missing kicks from 20, 30 ~d 40 yards, the 25-year-old mechanical engineer from Belle River, Ontario, connected from 50 yards out during halftime of the Toronto-Hamilton CFL game to win $1 million. Earlier this month,Diesbourgwas selected from nearly 200,000 online entries in a contest sponsored by Wendy's to attempt four kicks for a variety of prizes, including $1 million with a successful 50-yard try. The 20-yard trywas for $1 ,000 cash andthe30-yardattemptwasforadigital . imaging package. -A successful boot from 40 yards out would have netted Diesbourg a home theatre package. International

The British government said Friday, November 4, that six beavers released in an effort to re-establish the species may be illegal immigrants, The Eurasian beavers were released Thursday into an enclosure at the Lower Mill Estate in the Cotswold Water Park in western England with hopes that the animals, which have been extinct in England since the 12th century, might again freely populate the countryside. But the Department for Environment,FoodandRw:alAffairssaidJeremy Paxton, who owns the estate, had not obtained the necessary licence. British law bans the release into the wildof"anyanimalwhichisnotordinarily resident in and is not a regular visitor to Great Britain in a wild state." The offence carries up to two years' imprisonment and an unlimited fine. A Pennsylvania man sued his exgirlfriend for more than $30,000 for gluing his genitals to his abdomen five years ago. Kenneth Slaby of Pittsburgh is suingGail O'Toole, with whom he broke up in 1999 after dating for 10 months. Slaby then began dating someone else but, according to the lawsuit, O'Toole invited him over to her home May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep. When he woke up, Slaby found O'Toole had used super glue to stick his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on hisback in nail polish. O'Toole allegedly told Slaby it was payback for their breakup and O'Toole had to walk 1.6 kilometres to a gas station to call for help. O'Toole pleaded guilty to misdemeanour assault and served six months' probation, but her ex-boyfriend is now suing for damages. O'Toole's lawyer, Chuck Evans, said it was a consensual act and Slaby wasn't permanently damaged. mjohnson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2005

Josey Vogels teaches students' to become their own sexperts

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At the beginning of her sex talk on Wednesday, November 9, sexpert Jos€)' Vogels provided a warning: "I don't tend to mince words; I believe in talking' about sex frankly and honestly." She also made sure that the less sexually-open students knew where the door was in case they felt the need to let themselves out. Often nicknamed Canada's very own Carrie Bradshaw, Vogels certainly showed her sexpertise throughout her 90-minute presentation in which she focussed on challenging myths, answering questions and, of. course, having fun. Vogels definitdy is an authority on the topic as she has been writing, researching and talking about sex for over a decade, starting with her column -MY Mes~ Bedroom, which debuted in Montreal's weekly Hour magazine in 1994. Along with her initial column, Vogels is also the author of the advice column Dating Girl, as well as five popular books on the topics of sex and dating. In all of her works, Vogels bases most of her advice on her own sex life, which was very

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apparent from the many personal stories she relayed throughout her presentation. From the tale of her first sexual experience in a hayloft to how she is officially Canada's top masturbator by winning Canada's annual "masturbate-a-thon," Vogels repeatedly had the enthusiastic crowd in stitches. While she worked toward keeping her sex-interested audience informed and interested, Vogels also made the night an interactive one with a variety of games for keen audience members to participate in. These activities weren'tjustmeantto he fun, however, as Vogels used these games as a way to teach us many important facts about sex and its common misconceptions. Now this is not to say that Vogels' trivia game was like one your sex ed teacher in grade school would make you play. Would your sex ed teacher make you make orgasm and vibrator sounds when buzzing in your answer to a question? In addition to amusing games with equally amusing prizes, Vogels also spent a fair amount of time relating some of what she considers to be her most important sex and dating advice to her audience. Alongwith the

traditional reinforcement of "alwavs use protection" (which Vogels dubs ~ "no jacket, no service''), the sexpett also gave advice on how to maximize the success of your first time and how orgasm-deficient women can achieve pleasure. When asked about why she decided to combine her two favourite things, writing and sex, Vogels graciously responded by saying, "I feel pretty blessed. I mean, I was just there at a time when that was just sort of a really emerging area that women were starting to write about. I had a popular forum for it and I just found my voice and it really did seem like my way of writing and my sort of personable way of talking about things and just saying it like it is combined with sex was a really refreshing thing at the time." , Through her fun yet education~ approach to sex, Vogels definitely left her U\V crowd in a happy, informed I and relaxed mood. The sexpert het-self put it best: "It's just sex. Honestlw, it doesn't hurt that much - if you'lje doing it right." sgardner@imprint.uwaterloo.~a

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Josey Vogels (left) spoke to an enthusiastic crowd in Arts Lecture Hall on sex and more. The talk got a bit physical as audience members participated in hands-free condom applications (right).

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The UW Hip-Hop Club performs at the CUBE, a dance event,held Wednesday at Fed Hall.The event was organized by seven Feds cultural clubs serving the Asian community.

RUDAY. NOVEMBER 11, 2005

Coren says media biased against Christians nist. "If you say that life begins at conception and ends at natural death ... then you're completely BrQadcaster and writer Michael unacceptable." CC)ftQ appeared in the SLC Great "If you think I'm exaggerating Hdi November 8 to speak about my only response will be, you haven't the; portrayal of religion in Canadian been there. These views are simply m«lia. not allowed in the media newsrooms Coren, a guest of ,UW's Logos in this country." Catholic Fellowship and CFC-Youth According to Coren, Canadian for Christ, lectured for half an hour media focuses on a few aspects of oniwhat he said are inadequate and orthodox Christianity, choosing to . depictions of orthodox faith, . write about abortion, gay marriage , cially Christianity. and the Roman Catholic Church iARoman Catholic himself, Coren abuse scandal instead of humanitarals~ called for an end to religious ian acts. cet)sorship in media. But just because the media fol"If you believe in lowering cuses on an issue like the Catholic ta~es for corporations, if you priest abuse scandal, Coren doesn't believe even in fighting the war think their analysis of the situation is in IIraq, you are still welcome at accurate. A study of the scandal comcae, CTV," said the former Globe missioned by the Roman Catholic anJt Mail and Financial Post columChurch found 81 per cent of abuse Christine Loureiro I~STAFF

victims were between the ages of 12 and 17, leading Coren to attribute the abuse to the offender's sexuality, not pedophilia as often credited by the media. "To say there is no connection at all between the sexuality of these people who abuse and the crime they committed is intellectually bankrupt," said Coren. ''But that has been the game played in Canadian media." And while Canadian media praises the work of Stephen Lewis, United Nations Special Envoy for HIV/ AIDS in Africa, Coren said journalists ignore the contributions of Roman Catholics in pressing pharmaceutical companies to provide affordable generic AIDS drugs to African nations. See RELIGION, page 6

weatshop speaker comes to UW '~don't care where it's made; they don't care how it's made. They want it to be $3 cheaper than The Gap and thttr'1l buy it," were some of the words ~telyspokenof the typical North American consumer by anti-sweatshop activist Jeff Ballinger when he visited UW on November 8. . er's informal presentation discussion focused on his experi. his years spentresearching -rights situation in Indonesia try has long been a popular for corporations seeking to y lower production costs by ctories in countries where few, rights exist for workers. :Alotof the reports that you hear that companies have reformed, factories are now cruelty-free," ersaid, citing Nike as an examf a company that is often spoken as having recovered impressively

from its former "poster child for socialirresponsibility" status. However, Ballinger disagrees with the popular media. "From my perspective, not a lot has changed." Ballinger first began researching Indonesian labour rights issues in 1987. He told shocking stories of minimum wages far below the level deemed necessary for survival, of factory workers being fired, beaten and jailed for attempting to unionize and of people made to work 14-hour days simply to make enough money for bare survival needs. He also reported high levels of sexual harassment among female workers with no justice or compensation. Ballinger himself is one of many foreign activists thrown out of Indonesia for trying to shed light on working conditions. He criticized a well-connected upper-class woman for opposing higher minimum wages for factory workers and, after having spent over three years in the country;

"I swear, I was out of there in two weeks," Ballinger said. . Most disturbing, however, were the connections Ballinger made between the dire factory situations in developing nations and the lack of responsibility and action taken by organizations in the first world.· As an example, Ballinger showed his audience a copy of a report compiled by the United Nations Development Program in 1988 that according. to Ballinger documented sub-standard conditions with regard to typical workinghoursinsweatshops-areportthat was kept confidential and not made available for the use of human rights organizations. In addition, sweatshop-style situations are closer 'to home than most Canadians think. Some American factories are known to fill their staffs with illegal immigrants who are not in a position to demand rights. See LABOUR, page 6

hank a veteran before it's too late THIS IS YOUR WORLD

f is Remembrance Day, 60 Y' since the first peacetime comration after the Second World ~. My grandfather, like most in h, generation, could finally think alput something other than war or . nomic depression. My' grandwho had enlisted early, was as before he was 20. Before 20, I had completed first-year ,: ersity. i A few weeks ago, I had the sQmewhat cathartic experience of ~sing my final term's worth of s here at Waterloo. It's hard to . e how much I, and the world, l+e changed in five short years. lle World Trade towers collapsed o~ the first Tuesday of my university ~eer, after a gloriously warm and s~y frosh week. tSixty years ago, my grandfather btl his whole life ahead of him. Intead of thinking how to survive uttil the end of the day, by dodging th: bullet with his name on it, he had

to think about what he wanted to do with himsel£ From what I've been told, he had a possible job, he was living at home and he was single. I've been trying to avoid contemplating my life ahead of me. While dodging papers, midterms and the pitfalls of university, I have procrastinated making life plans. A few weeks ago, I had the potential for a full-time job, I was living at home and I was single. There are a lot of things we can thank my grandfather's generation for. They have lived through the Great Depression; they have lived through what was the largest world war in history. There is nothing that will solidify your life goals more than when you face death on a daily basis. Whether it's promising God what you'll do if you survive the next ambush, or sitting behind the lines, waiting for your turn at the front, you have one thing in mind: what you'll do if you survive. While we might naively consider university a life-and-death situation, nothing, not even the mad scramble for co-op jobs or pulling an allnighter to cram for the stats exam, compares to the experience that our war veterans faced. Last spring, while coverage was beginning to commemorate the 60

years since the victory in Europe, I calculated that my grandfather were the exact same age, though sixty years apatt. Sixty years ago in May he and a friend were enjoying a respite from war in the company of some grateful, and pint-purchasing, civilians. Last May, I was beginning the end of my university education. My coming of age has beenatuniversity, where the biggest injury thatI have sustained to date is a broken leg. My grandfather came of age while at war and emerged without a physical scratch. Somehow, I think his story is more compelling than mine. Standing near the end of my university career, I need to plan and consider what it is that I want to do with my life. Can I possibly make a contribution equivalent to what my grandfather's generation did? I would argue that no matter how hard we try, we cannot. As a good friend told me, "People like your grandfather made it possible for us to 'only' have to deal with university." I doubt.thatwe have fullyappreciated that fact. Today I will thank my grandfather. Not only did he help to save your world, but his generation changed it, too.

JEFF ANSTETT

Michael Coren discusses his relationship with the media during his lecture at UW last Tuesday.

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FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11,

200~

Concerning chess, computers, Students call for sustainability conferences and cleaning up campus Campus groups propose more "green" initiatives i

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money collected will be rewarded as a cash prize to the top three contestants. Players of all skill levels are welcome. For more information and registration, visit 360.yahoo.com/uw_pan_am_ chess or e-mail uw_pan_am_chess@yahoo.ca. Please indicate whether you can bring a chess set or chess clock.

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Ashley Csanady IMPRINT STAFF

Volunteers clean up campus

On Sunday, November 13, the University of Waterloo Community Volunteers (UWCV) is holding its inaugural event. From 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. UWCV will be holding a Campus Clean-up Day, where volunteers will head out with tools and garbage bags to clean up UW's campus. All participants will receive a free T-shirt as well as hot dogs and hot chocolate to keep them warm as they work. Volunteers are asked to meet outside the SLC doors that face the PAC parking lot. The UWVC said Campus Clean-up Dayis the first of many "events designed to provide UW students with connections to local volunteer organizations to help improve the KitchenerWaterloo community." UW holds chess tournament

On November 16 and 17, a campus-wide chess tournament will be held at uw. The purpose of the tournament is to promote chess throughout the campus and raise money for the UW Pan-American Che~s Team. The tournament will be accompanied by lectures by some of the best chess players in Canada, including International Master Stephen Glinert and National Master Artem Gurevich. A $10 entrance fee is required, but 40 per cent of the

Find your off-campus housing faster

Looking for off-campus housing? Terrill Dent, a 2A computer science student at uw, has created a website to help you out. The website uses Google Maps technology and the UW rental housing board to display housing properties across the region based on different price ranges. The map also features an option to view wrious GRT bus route maps along with your l'ossible housing options. The website is located at terrill.ca/maps/ waterloo.php. CUTC returns for 2006

The Canadian UndergradTechnologyConference (CUTq is currently seeking. student delegates. CUTC is the largest entirely student-run conference in Canada. Itis designed to allow students "to meet and learn from experienced industry and academic professionals." The conference is back for its sixth year from January 12 to 14. CUTC is about the future of technology and how students will play a role in its development. The conference will feature lectures and smaller events led by industry leaders such as IBM and NorteL What began as the initiative of a few students at uw, CUTC now attracts students froma wriety of universities and disciplines across Canada. The early-bird registration fee is $80, due before December 19, 2005.1b,e regular price is $95. .(lor more information visit www.cutc.ca. acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Naomi Williams SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

In order to create a campus that is a model for sustainability, the UW Environmental Network and several enviro-conscious student groups on campus are requesting the implementation of a sustainability co-ordinator and an office of sustainability for the University of Waterloo. This broad~based appeal is prompted by the absence of a Waste Management coordinator. The newly-formed UW environment network is responsible for bringing all environmental student organizations on campus together to share ideas, plan events and inform the student· body on matters of on-campus sustainability. Along with the Engineering Society, ~nvironmental Studies Society, UW Sustainability Project, University of Waterloo Womyn's Centre, UW Campus Greens, UW Field Naturalists, Environment and Resource Studies Student Association and Planning Student Association/ the Network is voicing its concerns this week in a letter to UW President David Johnston. It hopes to receive a positive response and increase resources and assistance from the university. "Students are really getting energized about the environment and are working collectively

~>n ~eat initiatives. They co:Ud. use a~in lStratlon support," Darcy Higgms explrups, commenting on the overwhelming respOfse he has received from students suppor~ng : this cause. As cost-savings by past greening at OW have shown, an office of sustainability, like those on many other campuses, would ~ely pay for itself "David Johnston said that he looks forward to UW comparing favourably with Harvard or MIT. To get there, we're going to have to be as pro-active as Harvard's comprehensive Green Campus Initiative or MIT's environmental initiatives," said Higgins regarding Johnston:s comments in the November 8 issue of The Record. Environmental Network students agree UW must work harder to become number one: in its showcase of sustainability. They fed the need is great for this institution to become environmentally effective and reduce the problems of waste, water quality, energy use, loss of biodiversity and air pollution. The enviro-conscious student groups on campus need to provide staff resources and commit to assist them in these tasks. For more information on this appeal and other environmental issues that students face on campus, visitwww.uwenet.blogspot. com.

Religion: Coren seeks freedom in media Continued from page 4

Coren, who now writes for the Toronto Sun, a publication he says gives him more freedom to express religious perspectives, wants Canadian media to be fair to Christians and to stop portraying radical minority factions as representative of the entire faith group. "I don't want anyone to be sympathetic. I want them if anything to be indifferent," he said. -"Allow people of faith to write and broadcast and speak and be heard in media." The event's organizers wanted to promote discussion regarding the role of religion in the media and in the pub~c sphere. UW Logos Catholic Fellowship President Dave Zettel found Coren's talkincisive, thoughtprovoking and timely.

''As Coren pointed out, the Canadian media seems to have a kind of double standard when it comes to its portrayal of Christians," said Zettel. "Christians who take liberal positions on social issues are applauded for doing so . .. while those who uphold traditional morality on issues such as the sanctity of life· from conception until natural death or the traditional definition of marriage are often neglected or ridiculed. I "We believe that there needs to be a greater openness in the Canadian media to indudihg intelligent Christian voices in contempor*r debates." Zettel hopes Coreh's comment will stimulate discussion about "how we can change the way religion, and in particular Christianity, is portrayed by the Canadian media." cloureiro@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

Labour: Sweatshop issues not hopeless Continued from page 5

"That's the whole No Sweat idea, that we can find these [worker-owned] factories," "It's discouraging, it's dishearteQ1ng ... Ballinger said. but there are a lot of good people working Alex Diceanu, a former WLU student who on this issue," Ballinger said after taking met Ballinger while completing a master's the audience through depressing sweatshop degree in globalization studies at McMaster figures showing that University, arranged .for even though countries Ballinger to speak at UW like South Korea allow with the help of Waterloo factory unions, corpoInterest Research "1 h9pe people walk Public rations are often emGroup (wpIRG) and Stuploying foreign workers away with the sense dents Against Sweatshops who have no right to (SAS). He felt that BaJIunionize. of empowerment inger's first-hand experiAmong those workwould be valuable for and an awareness ·of ences ing on the issue actively students to hear. are Ballinger and his co. "It's pretty rare to' get how bad the founders of No Sweat someone who has been ,on Apparel, a company the ground," he said: "I hope situation is." which purchases only people walk away ,\,.th the union-made clothing -Alex Diceanu sense of empowerment and from the United States, an awareness of how bad Canada - and developthe situation is." He ~dd~d ing nations. that student organizatio:1s For those who boycott any company with like SAS are a perfect example of what a f(W "Made in [insert third-world country· here]" people can do to help. . on its clothing tags, Ballinger was careful to Jeff Ballinger published the first expo>e remind them that boycotting is not the answer. of Nike's abusive labour policies in 1992 aid He said that this will only take jobs away from is currently the director of Press for Chan~, already poverty-stricken workers, while buying a non-profit human rights organization. F)r only from unionized factories, Third-World or more information on labour rights activism, is not, will force corporations into giving their well as Ballinger's other publications visit WWN. workers union rights. nosweatapparel.com.

I I

I RUDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2005 i

~n@imprint.uwaterloo.ca ot\iruon Editor: Mark Johnson .

OpinionAssistant: Tom Levesque

Friday, November 11, 2005 -

Vol. 28, No_ 16

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PINION Life after cigarettes CIGAREIIES AND COFFEE As I write this column, my hands are shaking. I'm pulling myself away from a distraction that .has plagued me for three days now. I quit smoking. The physical addiction is all but gone, yet I feel a strange, tarry hand grabbing at my brain, pulling me to smoke. I can see the spot where I used to stand. But I digress. There is a company that is in the final stages of development on a cigarette that is 40 to 75 per cent "healthier" than regular cigarettes. It's being developed with the hope that current smokers will switch over to the brand (currendy called Fact) with their health in mind. The cigaretteitself uses an intelligent filter (called Filligent) soaked in a chemical mixture that neutralizes several carcinogenic substances while leaving the nicotine in~ct. So, this got me thinking. \\J'hat if there were no risk of cancer from cigarettes? What if, in a parallel world, cigarettes

were free and had no adverse effects? No coughing, no impotence, nothing - <,!xcept addiction. I guess it's not so bad to be addicted to something free, right? Especially if there are no health downsides to it. . I know this isn't the case with Fact, but given the current technological swing of things, it's not so far of£ Before I tried to quit, I would have agreed. Free, no strings - why the hell not? See, it's not so much the health issues that pushed me to quit. It's the addiction. 1bis idea that there's something that controls your every move - it's unsettling. Okay, admittedly the black thing I coughed up told me to quit, but the thing that's keeping me going is this innate distaste for being controlled. But the thing keeping me going is the very thing I'm fighting. A friend (and co-columnist) recendy put it best: "Life exists between cigarettes." This profound statement spurned my train of thought. Perhaps the worst thing about addiction is addiction itsel£ For me, this is absolutely the case. I want to be able to write my column without going out for a cigarette first. It's frightening to think that something so simple as a cigarette has twisted my mind

around to the point where withdrawal has caused me to nearly snap on several occasions. Where previously I was a patient man, the lines at Tim Hortons have known my scowls in recent days. Ultimately, the best reason to quit smoking is to take your life back Live without a dependency on everything. Sure, you may scoff and say, "I don't depend on cigarettes ... they don't affect me that much." Try quitting. As for those of you who are looking to quit, here's some advice from the trenches: buy lots and lots of gum. Be sure to tell people you're in the midst of quitting smoking so they don't get offended when you .threaten to stuff them in the trunk of your '93 Dodge Shadow. Oh, and don't be afraid to partake in the other addictions you love so much. Drink coffee, beer, wine-whatever you want. For me, it was more like rubbing salt in the wound. After a few beers, I stopped thinking about smoking. Of course, after a case of beer, I stopped thinking entirely. Most of all"don't give up. Even when you think you can't take it anymore, just put your head down and bear it. eic@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Article insulting to French Canada 'COMMUNITY .

'EDITORIAL -------------------

-------------------------------

---~-

As French Canadians living in Ontario and students at the University of Waterloo, we would like to express our deep resentment at the publication by Imprint two weeks ago of an article entided "Quebec - distinct for all the wrong reasons." 1bis article, grounded in ethnic stereotyping, was in fact no more than a bitter diatribe, -the aim of which could only have been to promote cultural intolerance and prejudice within our university and our country. While we do agree that everyone is entided to his own opinion, we are also of the mind that journalism ought to be based on facts and research and be presented in an appropriate fashion. Regretfully, this was not the case in this instance - phrases such as ''Newfoundland finally sobered up enough to officially join us'" and ''Its [talking about Quebec] methods are not unlike a young sibling who fake-cries to obtain attention and prizes from the oblivious parents, then turns around and sticks a tongue out at the older sibling" not only heighten cultural

tensions, but also border on hatred. Of iQterGoncerns and the culture of French Canada, it est to note is the image ~oked by Mi. Ruch is surprising that he would not be aware that of Quebec as a "younger sibling" to Ontario. we consider our language to be a vital part of The last time we checked, there were two very our identity as French Canadians. In fact, in distinct and very equal founding nations of our his smattering of a few token French words country (well, at least on paper). throughout his article, Mr. Ruch showed great Mr. Ruch,whotakes it upon himself tospeak contempt and disrespect toward all French on behalf of all of English Canada - "The Canadians in not bothering to use those few rest of the country has had its collective voice simple words properly - "la dixieme anniver~ ignored for too long - we must be heardl" saire," for example. - implies in his article that the rift between UW recendy launched a diversity awareness these two cultures" results from "Quebec's . campaign called One Waterloo, the goal of which is to emphasize and, promote awarespecial treatment." Perhaps Mr. Ruch is not aware of the fact ness, acceptarice and understanding of cultural that his own rights as an Anglophone are more diversity within the school. This campaign is "specially protected" thrpughout the entire a reflection of the multicultural nature of our country, including in the province of Quebec, great nation, and it has achieved tremendous than are those of -any Francophone living success throughout the university. outside of Quebec. 1bis week marks, almost to the day, the 10We ourselves were raised in the context year anniversary of the Quebec referendum. of a Francophone culture in an Anglophone At a time when such an important turning province, as were a very large number of people point in our history is foremost in the minds (more than 485,000 in Ontario alone as of of all Canadians, Francophones and Anglo2001). We suspect that if Mr. Ruch had ~y phones alike, it seems to us that this ought to inkling of what it is like to live as a minority . be a time for promoting understanding and (linguistically and culturally speaking) among unity among the two great cultures which a majority culture, he might better appreciate " define our country. We fail to see how Mr. the constant effort required to maintain that Ruch's article, demeaningly entitled "Quebec culture. But how kind it was of him to save us - distinct for all the wrong reasons," fits the trouble of speaking for ourselves. into this picture. Considering that Mr. Ruch portrays himself as being knowledgeable with regard to the - Caroline Campbell and Genevieve Millaire

,More important issues than vegetarianism are at hand ABSTINENCE AND THE SUBURBS Alright, this whole omnivore versus herbivore thing I have started has gone far enough. Vegetarians cannot be glos;>ed"over and cannot be argued against in any sane WilY. Same goes for omnivores, although I'd bet a good chunk of 'em just rationalize enjoying the practicality and taste.

My original article was intentionally stupid. I made sure that everything I said was either . absurd or completely contradictory, ~though nobody had any trouble calling me an idiot. Vegetarianism has so many opinions, both for and against, that it is poindess to argue about it. We're at the point where no ground can be gained in the matter. For every argument, there is an equally powerful counter-argument. . Have your own distinct opinions and discuss' them with others, bur do not expect to change any minds at this point. Did a single person even reconsider his beliefs afterreadingmyarticle or any of the rebuttals? Hellno! Itwouldn'thavemattered if the opinions had been expressedintelligendyor idiotically, the result woUld be the ~ _

For those of you who were upset, I urge you to have more faith in your dietary decisions. If somebody sounds like an idiot, ignore them! That was my original point. I could understand being mad about an idiot if he were, say, president. Othen.vise, idiots aren't worth the effort. I met an anti-semite hobo in Toronto who told me at first glance that I was a sinner.. I didn't go home and cry; he was an'idiot! A diet is only a diet. There are far more important things to worry about like Remembrance Day. Which is more important - what I eat or war around the world? dhutz@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER II, 2005

Coolness curse So I was in this seedy bar talking to a girl who looked like Jabba the Hutt. Hey, it was a slow night. Anyhoot, an edited transcript of the conversation is below:

Heramb: So Jabba, what ,do you stu4J? Jabba: I study languages.,Nordic languages.

Oh yeah? When do you finish Finnish?

that line for 23 years. The odds of meeting a Nordic Language major who looked like Jabba the Hutt were quite small. You had a better chance of getting eaten by a shark ... twice. Upon retrospection, however, it hit me: Herambone, that line was lame. As penance for that terrible line, I must publicly humiliate myself through this forum. Look, I was trying to be cool and I realize I came across as a douche. Based on my scholarly anthropological data, Homo sapiens believe coolness is a sign of acceptance. Forensic research has even uncovered an ancient organization called the "Cool Caveman Club" (Ccq. See EXAMPLES, page 10

Oh man, I was waiting to use

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Remember all who fought EXTREME CENTRE On Remembrance Day, we remember. We remember the soldiers who died so we could be free. Across the globe, the poppy is recognized for this reason. Eighty-seven years ago today, an armistice was signed, ending the First World War. Unfortunately, our memories are diminished by the lack of respect for veterans' sacrifices by those who don't ' bother to vote and a lack of respect for all who fought to defeat fascism, whether they came from a communist or capitalist country. One must look at the big picture. Try not to think only of Canadian soldiers because - let's be honest - our contribution to both world wars was relatively minimal. We can pat ourselves on the back, however - at least we didn't have to be dragged kicking and screaming into battle like the Americans did. Boy, the world has changed! Today, we pay homage to the precious communist/capitalist alliance which defeated the tyrannical

than any other country. We owe the regime of Adolf Hitler along with USSR more than any of us can know the scourge of fascism. Had Russia for its contributions during a war that not turned communist - and subkilled off four per cent of the world's sequently supported the West during population and left Britain, France . the Second World War - we'd likely and Germany in shambles. be under Nazi control right now. Remember those soldiers who Sure,Russia withdrew from World War I followingits revolution, butlet's . made the ultimate sacrifice, no matter what their nationality. They did it face facts - World War I should not for us; consider how lucky we are to have happened and was a waste of live in a free, prosperous society such time, money and lives. One archduke as Canada with honest and decent is assassinated and the whole world government. goes to rat crap? How sad. Unfortunately, the memory of World War II, on the other hand, those soldiers is being sullied consiswas obviously unavoidable. Hitler tently across the country - and the would most likely have continued entire Western world - by citizens with his little conquest of Europe had Britain and France not intervened. who don't cast their ballots. People gave their lives so we could have this As far as I can see, three factors right - among others - and 40 per contributed the most to our side cent of our population is so useless winning the war. that they can't get off their rumps to First, Hitler was idiotic enough cast (or at least decline) a ballot every to provoke Joseph Stalin's Soviet couple of years. Union. Second, Hitler was foolish While we remember the sacrienough to pour enormous military fices of those who came before resources into the terrifyingly barus, scold those who stay home on baric Holocaust - those troops election day - they diminish the could have helped fight the Allied meaning of the deaths during the invasion. Finally, the Soviet Union had become extraordinarily powerful World Wars. If they don't appreciate their duty and prosperous under the communist to vote, tell them to move to North system and could hold its own against Korea where they won't have to the Nazi aggressors. worry about it! Eighty per cent of German casualties occurred on the eastern front mjohnson@imprint.uwaterioo.ca and the Soviet casualty toll was higher

What does it really mean to be Canadian? . .

- Conservatives on either coast, Liberals in Ontario; the BQ, of course, in Quebec and it dusting of NDP throughout (perhaps Canada's only true national party?). What is very clear is that it is no longer possible to truly define what it means to be Canadian for all Canadians. Like general relativity in science, the perception of that concept varies Did they make you laugh? Did they based on your experiences. tick you off?Were you happy someone . That being said, there are basic funfinally said what you'd been thinking . damental values and beliefs shared on all along or shocked at the extremism a national level that are worth standing and perceived ignorance? What was up for and being proud of such as our your reaction? unparalleled peacekeeping record, our The past two weeks, I have written of two seemingly preposterous topics that were as narrow as they were opinionated. The first depicted Quebec as nothing but a self-serving province that does little more than mooch off of the rest of Canada, while the other proposed that Ontario would be better off as a separate country. Both were pompous, ignorant of reality and included dangerous generalizations. But they also had a purpose. CLAIRE MOUSSEAU Despite the frail nature of Canadian unity, even though ten years have ,passed since the most recent (and dedication to human rights on a global hopefully last) Quebec sovereignty level and our endless conttibutions to health research and the arts. Our vote, its significance is still generally regionalized differences aside, these neglected as the country has arguably are issues at the heart of humanity and drifted even further apart. One only enough to make the 30-or-so million of needs to look as far as the geographius spontaneouslydrapeourselvesinred cal distribution of political support to and white at any opportunity. show the regionalization of Canada

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Yet I argue this is rarely the case. On any given day of the year that isn't July 1, on how many occasions do you find yourself holding a Canadian flag? Or singing the national anthem whilst not attending a sporting event? I contend th,at for the vast majority of you who have read my column in the past two weeks, your answer to either question could be counted on one hand. It seems that Canadians on the whole are too timid, or'dare I say embarrassed, to show affection for Canada except for when there's an international hockey tournament being played. For a country that epitomizes the idea of the whole be- . ing stronger than the sum of its parts (and yes, that includes a strong >ind vibrant Quebec),our attitude toward Canadian pride has to change. So I challenge each and every one of you to findan excuse (anyoid excuse willdo) that gives you and others an opportunityto show how much you love Canada. Put a flag on your backpa.ck, play "Oh Canada" on your iPod or tell a veteran "thank you." Whatever his, make sure someone knows. Canad ais a country dangerously close to los ing the identity it has worked so hard. to achieve. My fear is that if we standi dly by for any longer, the country itself just might go along with it. kruch@imprint.uwaterloo'.ca

FRIDAY. NOVEMBER 11, 2005

Gay pornography is superior Eaton a veggie spy

T(} tbe editfJr, I

Why would Stephen Eaton write entire community editorial based such ridiculous anti-vegetarianism tions? . His declaration that compassion is! only due to watching too much television can easily be refuted by rtferencing the many ethical vegetar~sinhistory: Pythagoras,Leonardo dll Vinci, Leo Tolstoy, Thomas Edi~n, Henry Ford, Mahatma Gandhi, George Bernard Shaw and Albert a,mstein. He also chooses to ignore ntillennia-old religions and cultures throughout the world in which animals are recognized as sentient beings. , He then throws in a few disconnected statements praising vivisection that display a complete lack of knowledge on the issues. Animals are notnecessarilyplaced above or alongside humans; it is the highly doubtful pUrpOses, methods, rs:liability and of cburse, supposed justification for such horrifying suffering in experimentation that are questioned. The only possible explanation to why Eaton wrote that article is that he is a secret spy from an animal rights group on a mission to discredit meat-eaters.

- Janet Yip 3B electrical engineering End the Liberal hackery

at Canadian politics and not force its readers to johnson's weekly Liberal blow job and unjustified Conservative attacks. I'm sure there are plenty of others who feel the same way.

- Michael Vopni 2A math & business administration CKMS needs exposure

To the editor, I've read numerous articles recently in Imprint, specifically Bryan Carney's article on November 4, lamenting the lackoflistenershipforCKMS. Having been at Waterloo for four years, I have sometimes wondered what exactly this CKMS airs. I've only seen the line on my tuition statement saying that I have paid some amount toward the university radio station. Maybe more people would know about the station if there was some form of advertisement! I didn't even know what the radio frequency (1 00.3 PM) was until I read about it in last week's Imprint. There are many students who don't read the paper, so they probably still don't know how to tune in - and are, in all likelihood, not reading this. There are many places where CKMS could advertise itself: a big poster in the SLC, a link to its home page from the main UW website, a little ad in the student newspapers once in a while. Maybe a little effort to let the students know that we even have a radio station would increase the number of listeners.

T(} /be edit(}r, So MarkJohnson claims to be "as unbiased as possible?" Please! His ~test column shows how much of a Libetal party hack he truly is. The Gomery report clearly places the blame of the sponsorship scandal on tpe office of the PM and Chretien's iooer circle, yet Johnson actually has we balls to put ridiculous spin on if and praise Jean for his lacklustre and desperate response. . Then Johnson goes on to rattle off a list of meaningless accomElishments (signing Kyoto when he doesn't have a plan to reduce emissions) and half-truths (Mulroney had excellent relations with the U.S., Chretien didn't really build anything). And of course no Extreme Centre column is complete without some baseless and tasteless Conservative bashing because, according to Johnson, everything is their fault. Chretien was, without a doubt, the most corrupt PM we've had i~ the last 50 years. He ruled like a dictator, invoking closure over 100 times stifling any real debate over his bills, threatening any dissidents with banishment from the party (much like how Tom DeLay rules Republicans in the U.S. House) and rewarding cronyism with lifetime Senate appointments and jobs at crown corporations. : If you look at the big picture, in the 11 years he was in office, Chretien really didn't do a whole lot Fpt throw lots of money around at election time. Johnson, however, ignores all <tf this and calls him a man of eth~? I suggest that Johnson read Tbe FriendlY Dictatorship by Jeffery Simpson to learn more about his "ethical" leader. I believe it's time for Imprint to hire a truly unbiased person to look

TYPE-INSTEREO

- Mike Bloxam 4A computer science O'Neil says goodbye

To the editor, Waterloo students are the best of the best - that is what I have always told students and staff. I want to say goodbye to the students and staff at the university. I will miss the students the most. The students have been such a blessing in my life and I am going to miss them terribly. They taught me a lot about myself and shared their lives with me. I always knew how important the University of Waterloo was to them. I have seen students come and go throughout my 16 years on campus. It is always sad when they leave but I am secure in the knowledge that good things are in store for them. Going to work each day was like working with a second family. I have decideditis time to move on to other things. To all of you students and staff that have touched mv life over the last years, I offer my thanks and my best wishes. If you would like to send me a personal message, I can be contacted at noneil1822@ . hotmail.com. I have always told my friends that I had the best job that anyone路 could of ever dreamed oE So, I will leave you with this one last line - Waterloo students are the best of the best. I am volunteering my time to organize and promote the ''Peace Concert - Dedicated to Tibet." It will be held on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 at Kitchener's City Hall

- Nanry O'Neil FormerCo-qrdinatoro/' SpeciolEvents, Bookings and Programsfor the SLC

Straight porn sucks. For all you fans of the hetero section of the internet's porn isles, I am truly sorry. You don't know what you're missing out on. Really. This is not to say, of course, that I consider myself a porno connoisseur - a title I'm more than happy to leave to the likes of Hugh Heffner or the UW engineering faculty. It's just that, from my exposure to the two rather -distinct categories, the gay material always manages to outshine its counterpart. The bad music probably doesn't help - nor do the pseudoplots or the looping of the same five or six thrusts for the entire piece. I think I'm going to have to side with Margaret Cho on why gay porn has a constant leg-up over its straighter counterpart. Cho said, ''There is a kind of fun and frivolity that surrounds gay men and their sexuality that is not there for straight men and sex. I' think if you're op~ pressed over who you want to sleep with, when you actually go and do it, you're gOnna have a really good

time. If you are hated for who you like to fuck, you are gonna kick up your heels and fuck ... and it is such an inspiration to watch." Now, beyond the rather straightforward purpose behind any type of pornography (which should be self-evident), queer porn does have some additional benefits. For one, gay porn is educational. No, really. Back in the middle years of grade school, sex-ed classes taught the vast majority of us the basic "tab A into slot B" that is your standard procreative sexual encounter. I still vividly recall one of my nice, granqm.otherly teachers showing diagram overheads of "what a penis inserted into the vagina would look like." What was never shown was the gay or lesbian equivalent. The topic of homosexuality was brought up in later years, of course, but if you were an adolescent teen having "those urges" toward other members of your gym locker-room, you were on your own to figure out what kind of interesting things you could do with your respective "tab As" or "slot Bs." Porn could help you with that. Of course, pornography isn't the greatest teaching aid ever. Most normal people are not nearly as flexible as your average adult film star, nor are manyofthepositionsultimatelypractical- chosen for camera accessibil-

ity rather than pleasure. This is when personal experiences come in and porn gets shifted to the backburner in terms of educational value. However, gay porn is still more than this. While in a high-school environment, where one of the most common derogatory comments you'll hear is "fag" or "that's so gay," queer pornography becomes a form of selfreassurance. You can spend every day feeling like the only queer kid in class, but when you go home and turn on your computer, you can see, vividly, that there are other people out there who are just as queer as you are. While porn may be obviously rehearsed, edited and set to a fantastical plot, the mere fact that it exists is a form of self-justification. . Of course, pornography is not the only place you can get this reassurance nowadays. With the increasing portrayal of queer characters on Tv, these less sexually overt examples o拢 queer identity can se.rve the same purpose, helping reassure the young, inquisitive minds of youth that they are not alone in their differences. When your blood is running thick with hormones, as is typical of the high-school years, what would you be more likely to turn to - WiD and Grace or Dan does Dallas? Yeah. Me too. gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Examples: un~ coolness reigns Continued from page 8

Unfortunately, 99 per cent of the world's population is terribly un-cool and ends up posing as compensation. Being a fine observer of society's foibles, here are some examples: ! We got the intellectually pretentious dude who flaunts his cerebtal gifts like Pamela Anderson in a \\1et T-shirt contest. Dude goes to a keggbr and brings his own wine. Dut:iwd a conversation, he'll correctvour freaking grammar. He goes to ~ party and starts every conversation with, "Did you catch the KurtSchwitters exhib~? He calls himself a Dadaist but q"e frankly lacks poignancy." Oh, he's not done yet. This lit(le bitch has to argue with the professor about everything even though the prof won a Nobel Prize the ' other day. How does what this smart-ass say out loud add value to my life? Htlll, each word he utters lowers my sperfu count. Who is he trying to impre~? There are three girls in our class arjd I'm sleeping with all of them! ' Intellectual posing is not cool. Then we got posers of a different ilk - the brown "thugs" on campus. These guys are desperately goillg for the 'Fiddy cent gangster credo C\lZ Fiddyis objectively pretty cool. Thit;tg is, he's not trying, he just is. • First off, potential thugs on caIb.pus-you are brown! Ain't no brown guys cool. Book it. Maybe we were cool for three days in the '60s when the Beatles visited India but that was a passing fad, sorta like Pokemon. No matter how hard you "thugs" pose with the bling bling, the Sean Jean jacket and the P-Diddy he~d band, I can still see that differendal calculus textbook under your arm. And then it happened: It was life the stars were aligned for me that day. So, this mega-thug swaggers over to his boys acting all confident and sh).t. Then the mofo suddenly mps cuz his laces are undone! , Holy crap, ain't nothing furulih than seeing a poser mp. It's like his cred was sucked up by a giapt vacuum. There's nothing you can say . afterward either. You have to live with the shame that you tripped in public and peoPle saw. It sticks like hair on superglue.

hramachandran@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 200

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features@imprint.uwaterloo.ta Features Editor: Bryan Carney Features Assistant: Kemet Bahlibi

The year of the veteran: my new understanding of Canada Waterloo student gains new found respect for Canadian war veterans during European visit I traveled to France and Belgium with the Canadian Forces in support of Veterans Affairs Canada, the host organization of a spiritual journey requested by First Nations, Metis and Inuit Canadians to call home the spirits of their fallen warriors to lay in their homeland. The calling-home ceremony was performed privately by aboriginal elders in Kemme!, Belgium, and ran simultaneously with remembrance and commemoration ceremonies at memorials and commonwealth war gravesites throughout France and Belgium.

Lindsay Nelson SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Throughout this year of the veteran, Canada recognizes the contribution, sacrifice and dedication of Canadian soldiers. I used to consider myself an educated Canadian. I knew the dates of the First and Second World Wars and went through the Canadian education system. However, in the past two weeks I was humbled to realize that my life owes much of its freedom to the men whose grave sites I visited while on an overseas trip to France and Belgium for my co-op term with the department of National Defence Directorate of History and Heritage this fall. I used to assume, thoughtlessly, that Canada's involvement was small, passing and even unimportant. Unfortunately, as I share my experiences of standing in commonwealth war grave cemeteries, walking through the subway system at Vimy Ridge and describing the landscape at Beaumont- Metis Veteran Lloyd Poitras. Hamel, I am discovering too many Canadians are inaccurately inIn both wars, young aboriginal formed and unaware of the atrocities men fought for a country that did faced by Canadian men and women not yet consider them full persons. in Europe from 1914 to 1919 and It was not until 1960 that aboriginal 1939 to 1945. For this reason, I am Canadians received the right to vote. eager to share what I learned while As stated by a Canadian representain France and Belgium. tive, "in their hearts they joined

for a larger cause - to defend the principles of liberty they did not have yet in Canada." During the calling-home ceremony Metis, Inuit and First Nations cultural performances and spirituality were incorporated with traditional remembrance day ceremonies. It was a chance for Canadians to honour the aboriginal contribution to the war in a special way. Incorporation of aboriginal elements included the Metis fiddle, throat singing, traditional drums and dancing into these remembrance ceremonies and was appreciated by the veterans, as evident through their thankful faces and words of praise. The challenge now is to pass on the stories of these men and women so generations to come will remember. I had a chance to share a meal with Second World War veteran lloyd Poitras who spoke about how this trip was overwhelming for him. He told me how it was painful to be back here and how earlier that day, at the beach of Normandy, it was hard to believe it was the same beach he has in his memory. Across from us at this table sat Rollie, one of Poitras' 10 children, a number that itself speaks of the effect life or death can have on generations to come. For Poitras, his experience at war spared his life and resulted in the lives of 10 children. At the next table sat Poitras' granddaughter, one of the youth delegates in France and Belgium to receive the torch of remembrance and keep to the memory of these men, her grandfather included, alive. By educating our youth, history lives on.

Hamel, where the Newfoundland Regiment fought on July 1, 1916, ~e saw the land still marked with wounds from this battle. Through a guided tour we discovered the fear these men faced that morning as they advanced toward the German line. The landscape left no margin for error: any movement and soldiers were vulnerable to enemy fire. If asked for my impressions two weeks ago on Canada's participation in the World Wars, I wou;ld have said that these wars took place in a far-off land in a different time and were fought bypeoplewithheroic qualities. Today, I knowothAboriginal music and dance at the Ca- erwise. For the citizens of Ypres, where the Last Post nadian National Vimy Memorial. has been played at the Menin Gate everynightat 8:00p.m. since 1925 Official historian Dr. Jean Martin except during the Second World War, from the Directorate of History war is something every citizen hopes and Heritage enriched these tours by will never return to their city. providing further historical context The opportunity to learn of the while standing on Vimy Ridge. He sacrifice offered by Canadian men told us about the personal accounts and women is one every young of soldiers in the battle. My far-off Canadian should have. I now have a and obscured ideas of war were deep admiration and respect for the quickly changed. I felt in some way a Canadian Forces and the men and solidarity and adelayed understanding women who serve in uniform. This of what the men and women who fought bloody battles on this land trip transformed my impressions of the Canadian Forces and brought went through. into perspective for me the very real It is an indescribable experience to stand in a 90-year-old trench and role that war plays in the lives of many Canadians, both actively and in imagine this as home. Lookingouton memory. One thing is certain: I will a farmer's muddy field, it was difficult celebrate Remembrance Day with a to imagine men traveling by foot renewed awareness this year. through the thick clay. At Beaumont-

To complement the remembrance services, the Canadian Forces contingent visited the sites of battles from the First and Second World Wars.

Thai one on Vietnamese style Vigil held to raise awareness for earthquake victims Ben Thanh offers decent Thai cuisine in a funky and chilled-out atmosphere

K-W BITES Ben Thanh Thai-Viet Restaurant

36 Northfield Drive East Waterloo

*** Growing up in Toronto and going to school downtown, I've been spoiled. Accessing cheap, delicious food is easy when you are surrounded by a multitude of different communities. Once I moved to Waterloo, I found locating good variety to be a bit of a challenge. I was skeptical when invited out to dinner at Ben Thanh Thai-Viet, having experienced only sub-mediocre Thai/Vietnamese food in the K-W region. We had to wait 20 minutes for a table, not impressive for a Thursday night and not a good start to our meal. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the restaurant's decor. The buttercream walls are accented with

tasteful blonde wood paneling. The ceiling panels are lit with fluorescent tubing that flows through rainbow colours. While it adds a funky, chill feeling to the ambiance, it's a bit disconcerting when your food is constantly changing colour. The tables are wellspaced and the minimalist use of colour and texture gives the restaurant a classy, relaxed feeling. We were brought our menus while EZ-Rock drifted over the sound system. We ordered a round of waters (ooh, big spenders!) and some tea. The tea was served in pretty cups, but had a strange, salty taste to it. My party of five ordered a diverse selection from the menu. Several ordersof spring rolls were chosen ($3.95 each order for two). John ordered the cashew chicken ($8.95) with a side of sticky rice ($1.45). Hungry-manMatt chose the udon with chicken, while lVlie chose the barbecue and sour pork with spring roll ($6.95). Her partner Rick followed suit. After ordering, we chatted about student politics, customer s~rvice and the joys and challenges of working with students.

See THAI, page 13

Whitney Wager IMPRINT STAFF

On October 8, 2005 a magnitude 7.6 earthquake devastated the northern regions of Pakistan, parts of India and Afghanistan and left 41,000 people injured and approximately two million homeless. On November 8, 2005, the Pakistani Student Association and the Waterloo Ismaili Association hosted the half-hour vigil out of respect for those involved at 12:00 p.m. in the Great Hall of the SLC. Participants included Wasim Parker, a UW student who acted as an MC for the event and Lawrence Lam, Feds VP internal. The president of the PSA, Asad Akbar, as well as the president of the WIA, Hussein Charania, were also responsible for organizating the vigil. Lam appropriately promoted the importance of relief work, considering the winter months are fast approaching and 41,188 people remain without shelter. The death toll is expected to rise since the rescue workers and the military are still unable to reach some of the more remote

areas in the region. However, finding shelter for all those left homeless remains top priority in the ambitions of the relief workers. Parker began the vigil with a real-life story, e-mailed from a UW student doing relief work in Pakistan after the October 8 earthquake. The story 芦really got the attention of the audience;' according to Parker.

It told the true story of a little girl left orphaned and homeless - her parents among the 18,000 people killed in the aforementioned quake. Parker describes this portion of the vigil as the most meaningful to him, as "it displayed the significance of what happened [in Pakistan]."

With the thousands of people injured, medical care is also impqrtant, so money donations for suppli!es are required. The city structures bf the regions underwent consideraile damage; several major cities lay co pletely desolated, such as Islamab d and Lahore, a~ well as India's capifl of New Delhi. i The rescue workers are still soiting through rubbEe, searching for mote bodies concealed l!>y landslides which' will add to the death tOill. To account for ~ll bodies and evacuate路 all possible survivors will require excessive relief work, as the remote areas are verY difficult to reach, ev<:n by helicopter. With this in mind, the PSA and WIA planned the November 8 vigil to encourage students to help with relief efforts. The tone Of the vigil was quiet and meaningful; students truly seemed to acknowledge and appreciate the seriousness of the matter. Students are strongly encouraged to participate in some way in the relief campaigns, as so many lives are at stake. I

wwager@imprint.uwaterloo.(:a

RUDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2005

Peachy keen for chicken --INT COOKS SlLlzanne Gardner IMPRINT STAFF

In case you haven't yet realized, once you reach sqcond year you have to learn to cook for y,urself. If you're extremely unlucky (or you ju(st really like to cook), you even had to make ~U1" own meals in first year because you lived CLV; MKY, UWP or off-campus. , Also, cooking doesn't have to be nearly as complicated as Emeril makes it look for it to ~ both tasty and healthy. A prime example is one of my favourite easy, yummy and nutritious dinners chicken with peaches.

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Ingredients: 1 tbsp oil t onion chopped 1/2 tsp garlic minced (or garlic powder) 1 - 2 tsp oregano .2 - 4 chicken pieces 1 can peaches in juice 1/2 red pepper

both sides are browned but not so long that it is cooked through. Once the chicken is thoroughly browned, add the peach juice. Cover the pan with a lid (or a cookie sheet, if you're in a pinch) and let the chicken concoction simmer until the meat has cooked through. This should take 12 to 15 minutes. At this point, remove the chicken from the pan but keep it warm. I usually put the chicken in the oven on a low temperature so that it remains heated without getting overcooked or drying out. Usually 250 degrees Fahrenheit is a safe bet. Ensure the pe-ach juice has been brought to a boil and then slightly reduce the heat. Now add the peaches and the peppers, which you should cook for about 2 to 3 minutes. Now just put the chicken back in, mix it all about and serve! I recommend rice as the best side dish with this meal, but potatoes work as well. Enjoy your delicious, nutritious and simple meal with a few friends as this meal can make 2 to 4 servings, depending on how much chicken you use. sgardner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Start by simply heating the oil in a pan. Once the oil starts bubbling. add the onion, garlic and oregano and saute them until they're soft. For those of youwho aren't overlyfamiliarwith cooking terminology, "saute" means to quickly cook SQmetbing in oil until it is soft or browned. The next step is to add the chicken pieces. kep the chicken in the pan long enough that

Thai: it's the kind of phat that's good Bowman finds Toronto-quality Thai here in Waterloo Continued from page 12

The service was friendly and accommodating, though somewhat flustered. That flustered presence seemed to continue to the kitchen, since some mains arrived, then apperizers, then a few more mains, at which point everyone else had food while I was left alone to drink my salty tea and reassure my rumbling stomach. Food presentation was the first thing I noticed about the dishes. Each item, once it arrived at the table, was beautifully presented - a profusion of colours, shapes and textures. The spring rolls arrived plated with a pale dipping sauce and a small mound of lightly pickled vegetables. There were two to a plate - a bit pricey considering that they were pretty much your standard greasy rolls stuffed with a mixture of pork, sprouts, lemongrass, mushrooms and shrimp. While one diner liked the crispness and flavour, another didn't really find them to be out of the ordinary, commenting that they were "not garbage, but not special." The barbecue and sour pork dish came with a spring roll, a hefty, lovely garnish of cucumber, lettuce and vegetables and vermicelli noodles. The barbecue pork received positive reviews from Allie and Rick for its flavour as well as the quality of the meat. The sour pork wasn't as appreciated - it didn't have a particularly impressive flavour and unappetizingly resembled fluorescent pink Spam. John's cashew chicken was plentiful, with good-quality chunks of meat, lots of fresh vegetables and sweet cashews. The sauce was a standard stir-fry sauce, which the menu had given two chili peppers for heat. Whi:le there

was a slight bite, my heat-loving friend was quite disappointed and had to add some fiery chili sauce to up the tingle factor. Matt enjoyed the thick udon noodles with chicken, especially the next day, when its sweet and sour flavour had had a chance to intensify. He requested some chili sauce, which gave the dish a well-needed kick. The only real downside was the puddle of oil on top of the sauce. I approached my phat thai with trepidation, having suffered through numerous dishes claiming to be this famous Thai standard, but which really ended up as a pile of undercooked rice noodles and ketchup. At first, I thought my fear was justified. The dish looked plain - a mound of noodles, chunks of chicken and a smattering of egg and tofu in a reddish sauce. However, it turned out to be quite good. The noodles were perfectly cooked, not a gooey stuck-together mass. The chicken was plentiful and again was high-quality white meat. The sauce, while definitely havinga ketchupy undertone, also possessed a mild and surprising lemongrass flavour. However, with two chilies beside it on the menu, the phat thai should have been much hotter than it was. It also would have benefited from an increase in crushed peanuts. Overall though, it was a really tasty, generous meal. Ben Thanh was much better than expected. While the food timing mishaps and greasiness of the food were off-putting. the overall experience was good. It's a relief that I don't have to travel to Toronto every time I get a hanketin' for decent, reasonably-priced and tasty Thai and Vietnamese food. sbowman@imprinl.uwaterloo.ca

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A celebration of hope in adversi~ Looking inside the Pakistani earthquake disaster Zehra Zaidi SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

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Her name is Nageenay. She is a five-year-old child like any other, with dreams of owning dolls and lollipops, hugs from Mommy and the occasional lullaby. But take a closer look. Her eyes do not hold visions of blonde Barbies or colourful candy. Their spaces are filled with images of broken limbs and shattered homes, of fear and hunger, of walking endlessly with no knowledge of her destination, of hearing screams by day and quiet sobbing by night. She is an October 8 earthquake victim like the thousands of others in my country who have similar, often more horrifying stories to tell. They are identified as "homeless," "orphan," "missing," "delimbed," "emergency case" and "unaccompanied." The uniqueness of these children does not lie in the fact that they might exclaim at the happy sight of toys, but rather at the astonishment in their eyes at the sight of a fully-limbed human, their gratitude at being offered a free meal and their often daunting sense of pride. Nageenay, too, with her strange combination of uniqueness, has touchedmylife.Hertouchhasnotonly altered but also molded its course. Where before like so many others I planned and worked toward selfsatisfaction and individual success, today I am aware of the world that exists beyond my personal ambitions in a very real way. Sometimes my own dreams of personal happiness, academic success and material gains seem selfish, even shallow.

I found Nageenay at the Crisis Centre for Earthquake Victims in Islamabad, Pakistan. She was secretly going through a carton that held empty candy wrappers, donated by a local relief organization. She was homeless, orphaned, missinglimbs and unaccompanied. Brought to IslamabadinahelicopterfromMuzzafarabad, Kashmir, where she was found unconscious andinjured clasped in her dead mother's arms. Her father was found lying dead not far from their home holding a tray of apples that he was going to sellatthemarketplace. Her three-year-old brother, Nawaz Shah, is stillmissing. Nageenaysaves candy and

Hope is survival and those who nurture it are survivors. toys from her own meagre share every day, hoping to surprise him with gifts if she ever finds him. When I saw Nageenay, it was not the sight of a small child searching through loads of empty candy wrap-ers that held me there, nor her too-thin arm fractured in three places and a large white plaster cast that held my gaze. No, it was the expectation in her eyes - as if she were waiting for something wonderful to come out from beneath the rubble of empty Coke cans and chocolate wrappers, something that would make her life better and help her forget her dead parents and her missing brother, if only for a few moments.

Yes, it was hope and I wanted to preserve it. Itis indeed a happier time when "fe enjoy the finer things in life - sutl.flowers and Christmas, rainbows and sunshine, a sparrow in sprin~e - life is a truly beautiful gift. i But it has its grungy edges, tho!ie places where the grunge is becomiflig . too thick for the sunshine to @t~r through, too thick to let in the so~g of the sparrow, too thick for ~e rainbow's colours to show. And those who live in the grunge are slowly forgetting the pleasures of our world and slowly losing hope. Poverty, natural disasters and human suffering in its abundance never cease to leave many affected. But when amidst the darkness and despair, we see the thinnest ray of hope then it is worth preserving. Hope is survival and those who nurture it are survivors. We can't erase the pain, the trauma and the bloodshed. Nor can we bring back these dead families or provide food and shelter for all such homeless children. I know we can never make them believe in frog princes and fairy tales again. But what we can do is love and respect Nageenay and every child like her because each one of them has.a story to tell, a story far greater than ours, an existence more special and a will far, far superior. Let us celebrate these survivors and their power to hope - let's celebrate Nageenay!

Zebra Zaidi is aJoNrth~politicalscienfe student who is CIImJntfy volunteering at d(t orphanage in Pakistan.

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Sinful habits die hard Aguide to giving up the little poisons we love - even coffee

There are many bad habits that surround our eating habits as well as things that we may have picked up like smoking or drinking. The reasons behind why these habits start can vary from peer pressure to boredom. In most cases, at some point the addictee will want to veer off the path and turn over a new lea£ We may all relate to this position of having a bad habit and knowing we should stop because it apparently may be bad for our overall health sometime down the road. Or you may have friends who you lecture occasionally to stop drinking coffee because it's not good for them or, better yet, you may explain to avid smokers that smoking causes lung cancer. Chances are that these individuals have heard it all before through family and media on countless occasions. They have the routine down pat of what to say in return, usually a simple shrug or maybe even angry comebacks.

So how do you break bad habits? Well, as humans, we are quite the habitual and change-resistant species, so trying to break habits is quite the challenge. The key is to realize that any dramatic change that you're making in your life must be a strictly personal decision. That is, your decision to change your life must come from your own mustering-up of motiva,tion and desire. The time it takes you to switch your habits will depend on how motivated you are to actually change yourself. Usually this comes from a certain event that has touched you personally or even just sheer determination. Basically, you can contemplate changing all you want, but the actual plan of action is a completely different story. For instance, I know I'm addicted to coffee, since I need it every day or else headaches and crankiness ensue. However, right now I have no motivation or desire to give it up because I love its hot caffeine goodness. But I know sometime in the future I'd like to give up coffee altogether, maybe when I'm done school. So what if you actually do summon up the motivation to quit your

bad habit? How do you actually do it? First you need a plan of action, which could be in the form of a calendar or a written stat(ment. Documenting your goa:s will help you be accountable to yourself. Next, never attempt to quit coB turkey. The act of deprivation wH leave you with splitting headaches or some other debilitation, as ymr body will wonder what happentd to its daily dose of whatever it w:s you were doing. It is important to decrease you: intakes slowly, over a span of a coupe of weeks or even months - this s up to you. Just take your time and don't get down on yourself if you do give ill. However, if you give in numerous times, then you really need to rethink your decision to quit. Informing close friends about your plan will keep you in check, as they will help you stay away from the bad habit and give you the extra support you may need. Acknowledging that you have a bad habit is the first step to gettin,g over it and in the words of GIJoe, knowing is half the battle, so you'r e already half way to quitting. jbanwait@imprint.uwaterloo.c. a

nuDAY. NOVEMBER 11, 2005

arts(tyimprint.mvaterloo.ca Arts Editor: Dan Barlow Arts Assistant: Angelo Florendo

The Hidden Cameras out on full display Angelo Florendo IP;1If'R1NT STAFF

Joel Gibb, the mastermind behind The Hidd(!fi Cameras, is every bit as polite as the pop IT.leiodies on his latest album, Mississauga Godd,WI, would imply. But masked by those spunky rhythm guitars are lyrics that are deceptively irltSightful and the thoughts hiding behind his cheek-to-cheek smile are equally devious. I'm cautious as he guides me down a set of stained, concrete stairs and into a damp room littered with forgotten furniture and defective ladders. Sitting down on bent-legged chairs, we begin the interview only to be startled by the piercing stare of an odd man looking at us from behind the doorway. The upstairs bass from soundcheck transforms into the theme from Jaws - I'm officially terrified. ''The freaky guy;' Joel explains, "he's been in movies like Dawn of the Dead." Somehow the knowledge of his creepy xylophone player's aCting career does nothing to quiet my fears as more members, which include a comediandtummer and a playwright-keyboardist, spew out the door and head upstairs. Collectively, their bizarre appearance resembles a circus sideshow more than a band. As with any crowd of misfit performern, however, The Hidden Cameras are a tight-knit group. "It's perfect because I feel liiie I'm with my peers," says Gibb of his unusual band. "They're all talented artists, actors and perform~rs in their own right." Though their carnie lineup lacks any gypsies 01' psychics, The Hidden Cameras are still lnown to throw quite the spectacle, even intending to perform alongside a modern dance troop. for performances scheduled for November 22 - 27 at the Premiere Dance Theatre in Toronto. ~'W'e trade instruments and we're dancing and they're playing," explains Gibb. "The first Hidden Cameras show was at a gallery, so from day one I had visual elements." Though not accompanied by their usual cohort of paid performers, the band easily fills up Starlight's modest stage with no fewer than eight members. Starting with some new cuts, the crowd slowly gets a feel for their surprisingly swift tempo. Often compared to Belle and Sebastian, Joel believes that the band "sound[s] a little bit like them on rc:cord, but live we don't at all. I would say we sort of rock more." The band's stand-out dancers, interim guitarist and solo artist Gentlemen Reg along with multi-instrumentalist Maggie MacDonald, give the crowd a how-to on rocking out by emphatically jumping and shaking while on

stage. Reg even finds time to flirt with himself as he wraps a curtain around his body and plays with a nearby mirror. Sometime in the middle of one of the songs, the band is debilitated by an unknown condition and suddenly falls limp to the ground, piling on each other ina morbid exhibition. Forgive Gibb for feeling a bit fatigued - he's got a lot on his mind. Press surrounding the band always seems to be equal parts praise and criticism. If Gibb were a regular musician then writing about familiar topics wouldn't be any cause for attention. But being openly gay and politically opinionated has made his lyrics a constant topic of discussion and, more often than not, a focus of ridicule. ''There's a homoerotic element in all my songs,'~ admits Gibb, "but I wouldn't know how to write a song without one. It's like a straight guy not knowing how to write a song other than from a straight-gliy perspective." His sexual orientation doesn't stop him from criticizing his own minority, however. Stating over-commercialization as a source of misgiving, he doesn't believe that "women's rights or

gay rights would exist without capitalism seeing them as a market. It's made being gay really safe and a vehicle to advertise." Yet he admits, "As much as I despise the gay community, I'm still part of it." Slowly rising from the floor, Gibb reminds himself that he's still part of the show too. After a short recovery period from his mid-set collapse, he awakens and strums his guitar while on his knees. Drummer Lex Vaughan counts down and the rest of the band jumps in - fully revived and as loud as ever. The crowd seems equally rejuvenated, sending rhythmic tremors with each unified leap. Playing a few more songs, they close the set and leave the stage, but the crowd wants more. Judging from the stampeding stomps and claps, Gibb's master plan becomes clear. Yes, The Hidden Cameras may be a circus sideshow, but they've managed to transform the crowd into an unruly batch of caged animals, trained to act under the command of the band's puppeteer melodies. Ending the night with the ever-popular '~an Marriage," the band takes a final bow

The Hidden Cameras' Joel Gibb is all about politics and partying.

and leaves the once-packed stage a shell of its former self. It's surprising how much chaos can be compressed into such a small space. The shortage of room must have been especially irritating for The Hidden Cameras, as they're used to playing on wide-open church stages. "I'd like to play in a church every day. There's a pipe organ or a piano, nice acoustics, people don't rip you off like in bars; there's every reason." The religious connection goes further than just their choice of venues, as Gibb's lyrics often contain direct references to the Bible - just one of the many issues that his songs deal with. "The Bible's a book I'm very familiar with," says Gibb, "and that's what you write about. But I like twisting it around." This iconoclastic mentality infuses his songs with uncommon social commentary. . "We're forgetting what it's like to have a body," criticizes Gibb. "It's mediated by so many weird things - technology and magazine images and cell phones, cars; we're fried, basically." Going against blind patriotism, he believes that "you should criticize where you come from because you're from the inside." Talking specifically about his economically-obsessed hometown, he says, "l\fississauga in many ways typifies all the bad things that are happening to this world." Politics may have found a way to infiltrate today's music, but The Hidden Cameras use a . subtle approach. "It's always good to have a political awareness or an opinion embedded in the music or the lyrics somehow without being didactic." Though it seems that most radio anthems ignore the subject entirely, Gibb disagrees. "Britney Spears is political in the sense that it is apolitical. I remember seeing her in the Michael Moore film [Fahrenheit 9/11] where she's like, 'I think we should just trust George Bush.' It still affects politics whether you want to vote or not." Gibb may seem like a disgruntled ringleader, but he asserts, "I have pride in who I am. I see a gay guy as being a brother in .the way that you can draw lines with race and nationality." This mix of hopefulness and anarchy is present in his music as The Hidden Cameras achieve the kind of blissful pop that manages to outdo the scope of their ambition, crafting songs that are every bit as reflective as they are fun. And as anyone who's seen the Hidden Cameras will tell you, fun is what a live show is all about. aflorendo@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2005

MixtapeMadness: The real St. Anger Simon Yarrow IMPRINT STAFF

So let's say you're feeling mighty cheesed off and you need a take-noprisoners, spit-in-your-facemixtape of angry, angry music to help you justify yourself/vent your frustrations/try to force other people to see your side of things. Have I got the mixtape for you!

L7 - "Shitlist" The first step in any essay is to establish a thesis - that is, your position on the topic. L 7 does the same for this mixtape, succinctly stating "I'm mad at some ubiquitous and non-specific 'you' and I don't care to tell why right now; all that matters is that I'm pissed." Of course, those were my words, and they hardly do these angry, rockin' ladies justice. Prong- "Snap Your Fingers Snap YourNeck" This song kicks ass and takes names. Prong helps by guiding our anger somewhere specific - co-workers. As near as I can tell, this song is an indictment of people who sacrifice everything, including their health and dignity, for personal advancement - that is, "the good life." To hell with that! Drowning Pool- "Bodies" Another obvious choice for this mixtape, this song goes on the warpath and leaves nobody standing in its wake. (Get it? No "body" standing, and the song's all like, "let the bodies hit the floor" ... never mind.) The fact that late lead singer Dave "Stage" Williaqls got his nickname because the late lead guitarist from Pantera was impressed by his stage

antics should give you some indication of how much this short-lived band rocked.

Suicidal Tendencies - "Institutionalized" Seminal skatepunk band Suicidal Tendencies set up a new target for much yelling - control-freak parents. "I'm not crazy! You're the one that's crazy!" That's damn right. Rage Against the Machine - "Killing in the Name" In this obvious pick, Zai:k de la Rocha and the band take aim at corporate stooges and slaves to the propaganda that governments call patriotism, offering gentle guidance by Zack's repeated shouts of "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!" Fear Factory-"Zero Signal" In this massive track off what is probably the band's best album, the boys in Fear Factory are up to their usual tricks in describing a bleak and war-torn dystopian techno-future, concluded by the mantra "I am so numb ... I am so numb ... " So yeah, I'm also angry because the future's gonna suck. Machine Head - "Davidian" This song brings another hardhitting steel-toed boot to the butt. I'm not sure what the lyrics mean exactly, but they're certainly violent and mad as hell. What else can I say? Listen and love it. Yell and scream along.

Disturbed - "Down with the Sickness" In this track, lead singer David Draiman sings about yet another ubiquitous "you" (the same vague "you" who seems to be a running theme in these songs) who has ''woken up the demons in me," which apparently manifest themselves in his dreams as a violent lashing-out against his abusive mother. I'm going to assume you don't actually feel this way about your own mother, and thus advise you not to play this song around her.

Mudvayne - '''Dig'' Parts of the lyrics essentially say "let me help you commit suicide" (read: "because I hate you'') and that's just not very nice. However, if you're just in your room throwing things around or walking dowri the street listening to your Walkman and making a face like everyone has an equal right to kiss your butt, it's a-okay. Nine Inch Nails - "(You're So) Physical" This in-freakin'-credible Adam Ant cover by Trent and the boys rocks

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Mindless Self-Indulgence "Bitches" I suppose this song is better suited for male listeners than female listeners. Ladies, I apologize. Guys, this is one of the greatest. smirk-and-strut songs ever made for us. I'll let the lyrics speak for themselves: ''Bitches love me cause they know that I can rock, / Bitches love me cause they know that I can rhyme, / Bitches love me cause they know that I can fuck, / Bitches love me 'cause they know that I'm on time!" Godsmack - "Whatever" Again ladies, I apologize forwhatmight

be interpreted as somemisogynyin the lyrics to this track. Believe me when I say the track earns its place on this mixtape not for those objectionable . lyrics, but for the succinct and universally applicable chorus: "I'm doing the best I ever did, / I'm doing the best that I can, / Now go away!"

Tool- "Forty-Six and 2" With possibly the most introspective

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track on the mixtape, Tool provides almost disturbingly grisly symboli$m for the perils of obsessive self-searching and mulling on past mistakes. And of course it's Tool, so the tra.ck is bloody brilliant.

Soundgarden - "Jesus Chriist Pose" This song is an angry response to people who insist on their own deserving, acting as if they were martyrs andinsistingyou owe them something when really you don't. People w:ho think they're like Jesus can be pre tty annoying, man! Nine Inch Nails - "Burn" ''Burn'' is one of my all-time favourite angry songs. The gist of the song is something to the effect of "you treated me badly and that turned me into a pyromaniac hell-bent on destroying the world. Oh yeah, and you suck." Really, that pretty much says it all. Deftones - "7 Words" The best song off Deftones' b~st album, "7 Words" is about as fed iup as fed up can be. Chino Moreno spits words that barely make sense faster than I thought possible and sounds really convincing in the process. "Shut up, you don't know me;' splutters Chino in a rare lucid moment. My thoughts exactlyl Kom - "A.D.I.D.A.S." The original song of this title-accept no imitations by Killer Mikel- is not so much angry in its lyrical content as it is a confession of just what's wrong· with the angry party. Yeah, we're getting Freudian here, people, deal "'lth it: everything boils down to sex. syarrow@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

New album, new style

my world. It's the hidden bonus track that makes the Broken EP a deal at twice the price. Reznor complains that "you" (surprise, surprise) are very attractive to him, but just too physicaLfor him, and yet he "want[s] your rough-house, baby;' and yet you're too physical, no-no-no-no-no. He sings this all while sounding like he's having very rough sex with the microphone. Pure confused, angry, conflicted, angsty gold.

Metric Live It Out Last Gang Records

Following their last highly acclaimed release Old Wor/4 Underground, Where Are You Now?, Toronto's Metric present a somewhat morphed version of their "rock-meets-new-wave" sound for this album as the band shifts its focus onto more guitar-driven tracks that are slightly less electronic than its previous efforts. Although some steadfast fans may find this change a bit disappointing, this move will likely work toward increasing Metric's fan base even further. while frontwoman Emily Haines will still manage to make existing devotees yearn for more. Through ten musically-diverse tracks, Haines delivers the band's noteworthy brand of irresistibly sexy, danceabJ.e, new wave indie rock. The diversity of this album is apparent straight from the six-minute-Iong opening track ''Empty;' which starts

off softly for the first third of the track untilitdramaticallybursts into a poundingguitar and drum duet. Other peppy songs of note include the first single ''Monster Hospital" with its Bobby Fuller Four-inspired chorus (''1 fought the war but the war won'') and the title track "Live It Out;' which features Haines' enthusiastic yelps mixed with very danceable instrumentals. Regardless of what fans may say about the shift in .Metric's musical stylings, one could never complain about lead singer Haines. Her sultry, edgy voice combined with her honest, clever lyrics call to you like free food to a wriversity student. And if your sexual preference leans towardhotindie chicks, then her amazing musical talent is an awesome bonus. You only need to listen to Haines sing forabout five 8e(."Onds to accept my expIanation of her voice. Want proof of hersmartlyrics?Listen to the album. Oh fine, just take a listen to the refrain at the end of "Hand$hake$": ''Buy this car to drive to work / Drive to work to pay for this car." I rest my case. ' By listening to this album, one can clearly tell that Metric has that elusive indie "it" factor. While some may argue that Live If Out still can't quite hold a candle to the band's previous releases, this album still drives home a bard, danceable, indie rock beat that's well worth spending your money on. sgardner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRlDAY. NOVEMBER 11, 2005路

UW students get fired up for MuchMusic A.damJohns IMPRINT STAFF

.As arguably the most visible Canadian television personalities for the young-adult demographic, the MuchMusic VJs are the source of alany conflicting opinions. We love some of them and can't stand othe:rs. When we see them interviewing our favourite musicians we're u,nderstandably envious, yet when we see them interviewing a crap band, we pity them. Som~ of us may mock them in public, but during our ,ost honest moments we are likely to aHmit that we would love to have their j~bs. Constantly traveliing around the world and interviewing music's biggest names is probably the most exciting way anyone could earn their monthly paycheck. And who doesn't want to be on televsion? On November 7, these conflictiag viewpoints were thrust to the

forefront of UW's consciousness: the MuchMusic VJ Search had arrived in Waterloo. Unlike previous VJ searches, which invited viewers across the country to send in audition tapes for a shot at the job, Much producers decided this year to take the American Idol route, traveling the country to audition candidates for the next VJ opening and videotaping the results. Beginning on the West Coast, the search has already stopped at universities and shopping centres in cities as large as Vancouver and as small as Brandon and is set to hit 21 cities in total. From the 3,000 people expected to audition, 20 semi-finalists will be chosen by an "expert panel of judges" which, we can only assume from past TV experience, will be liberally populated with bitchy record execs and washed-up pop stars. From these 20 finalists, 10 will be chosen to appear in a 10-

ply soul fro

Angelo Florendo IMPRINT STAFF

New York can be a tough place --'- just ask soul-singer Sharon Jones.. Not only did she grow up on the mean'streets of Brooklyn, to make ends meet she worked at Ryker's Island, the centre of New York's jail system. Between the late shifts .and family responsibilities she found a ,vav to use her talents. "I did a lot of wedding bands," Jones recalls ()f her early singing. But wedding ~ands aren't exactly the best way to expose yourself and time wasn't on her side. "They told me I didn't have the look; they told me I was tOO dark-skinned, too short, too filt and when I got into my late 205, early 30s they told me I was tOO old." These early struggles didn't stop the now 49-year-old soul queen and she finally got a break doing backup vocals for Defco records. Hven with a professional career in sieging, she couldn't escape criticism from the record companies. "Everything is labeled and if you're not in that category they're not going to show you."

. part prime-time series, which will eliminate contestants one-by-one in typical reality TV style until only the chosen one remains. Of course, UW students wouldn't care about something like this. Why would we, the most promising students at Canada's top university, forsake our destinies as tomorrow's doctors, engineers, systems analysts and corporate peons? Besides, what are the chances that Canada's undisputed epicentre of introverted left-brained nerdiness has spawned someone with the decidedly un-Waterloo charisma necessary to be the next VJ? The skills exhibited at the Waterloo edition of the VJ search helped to disprove these preconceptions. Of the approximately 50 candidates who auditioned in front of the blinding stage lights and near-capacity SLC crowd, the majority of them were engaging,

Sh ronJon

But once again her perseverance has paid off and she is finally garnering the attention that she deserves. Things started slowly with shows in her native New York, but have snowballed since. "Next thing I know I was in London and then I'm on the Conan O'Brien show," says Jones of her unexpected succes;. The songs found on her recent release Naturaf!y are.拢lled with the jubilations of her recent accomplishments. Yet behind the timeless lyrics and the jazz infused rhythms of her band The; Dap-Kings rests a wisdom that only years of rejection and perseverance could attain. A far cry from the Mickey Mouse vocals of today's R&B singers, Jones' extraordinary voice can only be described as soulful ~ simply and truly. Soul isn't a word Jones takes lightly, as she believes that it transcends all barriers. "It got nothin' to do with colour," attests Jones. "Soul is what you feelin'; soul is what comes from the heart and what comes from the heart reaches the heart." Jones has been reaching a lot of hearts lately through her live shows, which have slowly gotten

a reputation for being absoh,ltely phenomenal. "The audience is my energy," says Jones of her performances. "I get my thrill from the looks on people's faces." Always ready to party, Sharon Jones is just thankful to be able to play. "To be 49 and be out here jumpin' and carryin' on like that; that to me is nothing but a blessing." Assuringpotential crowds of a good show, she says, "You can't help it; when we start playin' your foot's got to tap or else there's something wrong with you." Her motivation comes from the sing<;rs who came before her-legends like James Brown and Marvin Gaye. Following in their footsteps, she hopes to invigorate to day's youth with her authentic brand of music. "I would just love for more people to hear it and maybe some of these young people will start trying to do it too and bring back some more good music." Sharon Jones plays the Starlight Lounge on November 13 and if you're a fan of soul or funk, you owe it to yourself to witness her legendary live performance.

likeable and comfortable in 'front of the camera. As AIiya-Jasmine Sovani, the VJ search's on-air host, told me, "It's usually the places we least expect that we have the most fun." Having spent a year as a UW student herself, Sovani didn't share the view that UW students are a collectively introverted group: "My friends and I all studied hard [at UW], but when we went out, we went wild;' she said. Wild is definitely a fitting adjective for what I saw in the SLC during the auditions. The two-minute try-outs ranged from line dancing to hip-hop dancing, from standing in one spot to push-ups to backflips off the stage. Someone covered himself with jam and one female student went up onstage in what can best be described as a "sexy cavewoman" dress. A '.1\,jde variety of different subcultures were represented, from punk

to country to varsity athlete to math student. In addition to those who tried out, the crowd was entertained with contests and free stuff and I witnessed a number of onlookers who had ostensibly "only showed up to watch" signing up and auditioning themselves. Even this reporter got into the spirit of the event with his own audition - a Vegas Lounge rendition of 50 Cent's "In the Club" set to Mel Torme's "I've Got You Under My Skin." By the time the six hours were up and the VJ searchers packed up their cameras, my initial skepticism had been replaced by a newfound respect for the capabilities of UW's student body. We may be known for our computer programming, but as the VJ search showed me, we have the potential to entertain with the best of them. ajohns@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

WaIar (14A) Fri-Sat, Mon & Thurs 7:00 & 9:25, Sat & Sun 4:30, Tues 9:15

In Her Shoes (PG) Sat & Sun 4:00. Wed 1:00 The March of the Penguins (G) Fri, Mon-Wed 5:00, Thurs 4:45

Wallace &: Gromlt: the Curse of the Were-Rabbit (G) Fri, Mon - Wed 5:00, Thurs 4:45

A History of Violence

(lBA)

Fri-Mon & Wed 9:15, Tues 9:45

North Country (14A) Fri-Mon & Wed $:45, Wed 1:00

Warren Miller's Higher Ground

(PG)

Sun 2:00 & 7:00

In the Mind's Eye Film Festival Luck (14A)-Tues 7:15, On the Outs - Wed 9:45 Clean (14A) -Wed 7:15

WFAC Film Fest Thurs 6:30 - Kumou No Mukou, Yakusoku no Bashou 9:00 Terkil I Knibe

ORIGINAl.. PRINGESS 6 PRINCESS S1: W UPTOWN WATERLOO

Paperclips (G) Fri-Sun 5:00, Mon-Wed 7:00

For the Moment (PG) Fri 7:00, Sal 2:30 Where the Truth Lies (18A) Fri 9:30, Sat-Sun & Thurs 9:15, Mon & Wed 9:00

Everything is illuminated

(PG)

Sat-Sun 7:00

Days of Wine &: Roses (PG) Tues 9:00 Most (TBC) Thurs 7:00

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aflorendo@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A fresh take on old tricks American fashion, their debut offering is loud, aggressive and every , bit as manufactured as their CD's packaging. Produced by Sal Villanueva, who has previously worked with day-of-the-weyk bands Thursday and Taking Back Sunday, Meaning in Makeup includes everyemo-punk convention you've come to expect. Excessive power chords played in unison with kick-drum beats? Check. Distorted guitar intros and machine-gun snare transitions? You betcha. Gang-vocal choruses My American Heart and teen-angst lyrics about running Meaning in Makeup away? Hells yeah. Here's the surprising part WARCON these aspects all come together in a way that is undeniably accessible. :My American Heart certainly aren't You may have heard their material coy with where they direct their pafrom other sources, but My Ameri~ triotism, despite a lineup dominated can Heart are smart enough not to by underage Filipinos. In proper

bore you with any single convention, creating catchy numbers with ample amounts of variation. Though they commit the classic arrangement crime of dropping to vocals far too often, they frame these sections with distorted drum beats that lessen the offence. Frontman (frontboy?) Larry Soliman's vocals are powerful yet instantly appealing, striking a middle ground between Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance. Fans of The Used or any of the Warped Tour bands that played alongside My American Heart shouldn't hesitate to pick up this album. Even the most highfalutin art rockers should at least acknowledge 'the band's ability to craft a convincing radio track. -Angelo Florendo

region, with 17 years in KWand 40 years overall including the United Kingdom.

-- eat in or take out --- catering for parties available --

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2005

Educating Rita is a school of gentle hard knocks Alexander Lunde SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Do women really have equal opportunity to get education and does spending years in a liberal arts program really help anyone learn anything?1bese two questions are addressed in Educating Rita, a light-hearted play with great set design and good group chemistry. In the tradition of Blake, this play does not forget the serious issues lurking in the shadows. The play starts with a pessimistic professor named Frank musing to himself in his study, seemingly in search of a novel by Dickens. This literary reference becomes a moment of comic ironywhen the audiencelearns thathidden behind the book is a bottle. His self-destructive stasis is broken when Rita walks in through the door, a lower-class hairdresser who wants to understand as much as she can about culture. At first, Frank doesn't want to take her as a student. However, hernaturalintelligence and earthy humour charms him, and he sees in her a potential to learn. The first act focUses on establishing the relationship between Rita and Frank and the pair's tentative steps through helping Rita gain cultural literacy. At first the play seems too episodic, but it's saved by the second half, when it fmally decides to tell a romantic comedy about the challenges women face attempting to gain independence. The set, designed by U\X' Pro£ William Chesney, uses the space well. It features a loving attention to detail that you don't see in most stage sets. The backstage area is covered up by a huge bookshelf with a door in the centre to allow entrances. The books on the shelves have a very used-bookstore feel, and as Rita herself remarks, "Everything seems to have grown into the room." The browns and reds form an earthy colour scheme contraS'ting both visually and metaphorically with Rita's flamboyant early wardrobe. All the furniture has a comfortably lived in but sturdy feel to it. There was a beautiful Persian carpet underneath Pro£ Frank's desk that made me realize something: the furniture is all positioned so that no one in the thrust stage setting feels cheated of a good view. All furniture, except the desk and the filing cabinet in the most backstage corner, is staggered in such a way that any actions the actors do are naturally diagonally tilted and can be viewed well from almost any angle. Since this show is a two-person play, it's really important that the two actors are secure in their own roles and have good chemistry. Under the direction of UW Pro£ Joel Greenberg, the leads are just that. Sara Gilchrist does such a good job capturing Rita's street-smart attitude that it seems hard to believe that she would ever get along with uppity profs. In the second act she exudes an intelligence and confidence that make her final declaration believable.

Part Nine:The Book of Revelations

Greg Campbell's Frank had the look of a bitter fart past his priple. He displayed both the wit and the world-weary self-loathing needed to play the part of a self-destructive man. In Rita, Frank sees the best of what high-brow culture lacks and she sees him as the doorway to enlightenment. The relationship they establish is a very close and paternal one and one which, from Frank's perspective, also has romantic undertones. In the program, the director says that the characters learn from each other, and thanks to the natural chemistry on stage this relationsh!p grounds the light social commentary. At the heart of this play is an exploration of one main question. Do women from working class backgrounds really have equal opportunity in elitist, male-controlled institutions? Rita is smart, but-she is held back by coming from a social background that inhibits her education. As she herself muses, "It was your parents, your fellas, that prevented you from getting an education because you always wanted to fit in." As the play goes on, we see her go from being dressed in mini-skirts into dresses that, like her literature, are just vaguely out of style. By the end of the play, she's gone from wanting to learn ''what's inside herself" to confidently asserting her right to choose if and when she has kids, no matter how Frank or anyone else feels. There is one truly dark streak running through the play, namelv how it treats the nature of education. While 'Frank initially has great trouble teaching Rita the art of dialectical argument and critical thinking, as time goes by thoughts and Rita's hobbies become those of a fairly typical language major. Frank feels to a certain degree that he may have killed something really beautiful, which was Rita's originality. The question of whether univerity gives 'students book learning in exchange for gumption is a very serious question for students to consider. Although Rita answers it for herself, the play provides no over-arching answer to this dilemma. This is a romantic comedy whose lighthearted allegory softens the author's probing both the modern female's place in society and how men adjust to it, as well as the institute of education. Yet this play has alternated performances with a/canna, a play with different focus but with the same cast and set desjgn as Educating Rita. I cannot help but sense that similar to Blake's Songs rif Innocence and Experience, the directors choose to run the plays together to deal with a series of interconnecting themes through different lenses: Educating Rita was the breezy jazz of Innocence, a light-hearted truffle with a slightly bitrer flavouring underneath. It's also part of a solid start to Theatre and Company's winter season, and raises anticipation for A BID'} Own jedi Handbook starting December 1. >

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SERIAL FICTION Mark Ross IMPRINT STAFF

The Cardinal looked across his desk at the two young people who had just told him everything. He sighed. He knew better than to reveal the secrets of his faith, but these children already knew so much and had been through so much. ''You deserve to know the truth." The two said nothing. They simply stared at the Cardinal, watching him, waiting. He sighed again. 'The story begins a long time ago, back when Christianity was still new. The great emperor Constantine had a desire to convert to Christianity, which until then had been illegal. The large problem he had was that the majority of his people were pagan and the conversion was bound to be incredibly difficult, especially since many people had been raised to ,hate the Christians. "The only other group that the Romans had persecuted as violently had been the Druids. The Roman campaign against them had been much more successful than its campaign against Christianity. The Druids, however, were no fools. There were still several bands of Druids remaining in Britain while Constantine was in power. \,'ll;lhen they heard of his desire to convert his empire to Christianity, they offered their aid in exchange for protection of their culture. ConS'tantine accepted and had many of the wisest Druids brought to Rome, as that letter you found,explains. Thatletter, however, proves nothing. The fact that Constantine brought those druids to Rome only proves his cunning

in eliminating his opponents. History shows us that soon after those Druids were brought to Rome all the remaining druids that could be found in Normandy and Britain were complete1y slaughtered. Their culture was destroyed. The druid priests and leaders that had come to Rome were murdered and their bodies were destroyed. That, however, is not the whole story. "Constantine took what the Druids had to say very seriously. His advisors analyzed what the:y had to say. Then Constantine did the unthinkable. The secret we've tried to hide ever since. He merged Christianity with the pagan rituals of the Druids. Baal was. their god, and he became part of Christian symbology. His symbol, the one you see there, with the four cardinal points extending out from a central circle, appears ip many places. One of the most obvious is St. Peter's Square in the Vatican. The obelisk is held within the centre of a·massive symbol of Baal. Even the obelisk is a symbol of Baal. ''Ireland was a longtime haven of the Druids. Many places throughout Ireland are named after Baal, inclqding the town you told me about. Baltinglas ... it means 'the fires of Baal.' The Druids that remained in Britain secretly took power in these places and fr<?m them sprang a new cult of Baal, hidden in the ranks of prominent Christians. These became the messengers of Baal, who worked to protect Constantine's secret to protect their own positions. The tomb in Baltinglas, for example, houses many prominent messengers and many secrets." "Why tell us all of this if it's supposed to be a secret? We never would have known all of this," Mike asked. "Because I don't expect you to live very long." The Cardinaliose from his seat. "In fact, the true messenger is here for you now;" J\,fike and Erin s\vung around and saw the messenger of Baal standing in the doorway, .blocking their exit. mross@imprint.uwaterloo.ea

Inspiration and aliens Steven Brust Jhereg

Irma Zaleski Mother Macrina

Ace Fantasy

Novalis Press

This is the first book in.the adventures of Vlad Taltos, an unlikely hero. The book begins, "There is a similarity, if I may be permitted an excursion into the tenuous metaphor, between the feel of· a chilly breeze and the feel of a knife's blade, as either is laid across the back of your neck. I can call up memories of both, if I work at it. The chilly breeze is invariably going to be the more pleasant memory." The world in this series started much like ours. But long ago the Jenoine, powerful aliens, came to this planet. They split the population in two; the Easterners were much like us, lived to 50 or 60 years and used witchcraft. Then there were those of the Dr?-gaera Empire, with people much taller and much longer-lived. Yet we find out that these people were altered by the Jenoine mixing their genetic material with those of the animals native to the planet - 17 aniinals to be specific. These people broke into houses named after the animals and each house takes a turn in ruling the empire. Vlad, our lonely Easterner, is living in the Dragaera Empire. But he has become muscle for the mob, the house Jhereg. Now he is getting paid to beat up and eventually kill those who always picked on him and put him down. The book is humorous, witty and fun, reminiscent of Neil Gaiman or Roger Zelazny. Vlad zings one~liners at us that \vill make you laugh and smile and cheer for the underdog: "Success leads to stagnation; stagnation leads to failure." Or, "No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style." If you want some light, fun, humorous reading, this is the series for you.

This is an inspiring little volume that focuses on the wisdom of Mother Macrina, a wi~e woman who left a hermitage and settled in a small town in northern Ontario. Her wisdOin became known and as her reputation spread, more and more people came to her door, whi(:h her door was always open. She invited them iin to have tea and talk. When she passed away, people were surprise:d by how many came to her funeral. These stori(~S are it collection of her wisdom'and guidance, the tales that people still tell. These stories read like the wisdom of the desert fathers or the Zen mystics. The book is a collection of short thoughts and its wisdoln and guidance is penetrating. Mother Macrina relates this about being sorry: . A woman came to tell Mother MacrinaabOl.lt a quarrel she had with a friend. She explained in detail how it came about, and how difficult her friend had been. She was sorry she got flo angry, but still ... Mother listened patiently until the woman ran out of breath. Then she asked her, ''Why don't you tell your friend you are sorry and he done with it?" . ''But Mother," the woman exclaimed, "did you not listen to me at all? It wasn't my fault; I explained it to you already!" "So you did," answered Mother Macrina. "What a strange thing it is that to say one is sorry takes only a moment, but to explain Why one should not say it takes over an hour!" That is just a ta~te of the wisdom for life that you \vill glean from this little gem. Reading this book, you will laugh and smile and it may even help you grow. Pick it up and I am sure you will enjoy it. Zaleski is also the author of living tbe jes!!s Prqyer and Tbe Wqy rif Repmtance.

-Steven R. McEvoy

FRlDAY. NOVEMBER 11, 2005

science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Science Editor: Rob Blom Science _\ssistant: Vacant

CIENCE

ncient artifact uncovered

Active volcano suspected defined and not altered byweatheringor erosion," said Dr. Enrico Flapllni. ' In contrast, Cassini radar team â&#x20AC;˘ member Dr. Ralph Lorenz of the University of Arizona, Tucson said, ''It may be something that flowed ... or it could be something carved by erosion. It's too early to say."

Tomb raiding increasingly a problem in China Ashley Csanady IMPRINT STAFF

On Sunday, October 30, archeologists in northern China discovered remains of what is potentially one of the world's oldest observatories. The remains are thought to be 4,100 years old. Prehistoric Chinese astronomers are said to have made some of the eartiest discoveries in astronomy. The ancient observatory consists of It 4O-metre platform surrounded by 13 pillars. It is thought the pillars were used as a calendar of the movement of the sun. Reportedly, the calendar is surprisingly accurate, foretelling the seasons within a few days of the current Chinese calendar. This observatory is part of a recent strain of discoveries in China after years of Western excavation and exportation of Chinese artifacts, as well as recent tomb raiding. China is particularly rich in archeological artifacts and also holds a wide array of artifacts from many different eras, some even dating from the paleolithic and neolithic eras. This variety, as well as the depth of ancitnt culture and history in China, makes its artifacts not only alluring but valuable.

The temptation of tomb raiding is hard for poor farmers in China to resist. In one night of tomb raiding they can make more money than they would in a whole year of farming. The market they sell to consists of wealthy collectors from both the East and West looking to decorate lofts and penthouses with authentic artifacts. In the past decade over 200 auction houses mainly dealing in antiquities have -appeared in China alone. Tomb raiding is becoming so endemic that even trained professionals in the West who are aware the goods they examine are stolen choose to look the other way. Some sites, such as the recently discovered Buddhist sculptures in Shanxi province, are erecting fences in attempts to preventtomb raiding. Further preventative measures are just not within the local government's power at this time. Tomb raiding is not merely a product of poverty in communist China; years of Western colonialism and exploration have also pillaged China's vast archeological treasures. The problem is, after a certain amount of time, pilfered artifacts become the legal property of the same people who stole them decades, even centuries, ago. Many international dealers and auction

h01:lses argue that China's turbulent and ancient history make ownership impossible to pinpoint and a "finders-keepers" logic seems to win out in the end. In the past, Western archeologists defended their choice to remove artifacts from foreign soil, arguing that those countries simply didn't have the tecluiology to handle and examine such histoncally valuable artifacts. However, as technology becomes more widespread and countries pillaged in the past now have the means to care for these items, whether they should be returned to their originating countries is an everincreasing debate. Especially with the draw of tourism dollars, argu- , ments on both sides are mounting. However, things are looking up for archeologists in China. Since the formation of the Archeological Society of China in 1979, archeological discoveries have greatly increased in the nation. Developments in archeological technology, as well as the federal government's assistance in trying to deter' tomb raiders, has made intact discoveries such as the aforementioned observatory more and more frequent. acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

NASA tracks first stars in Adam Gardiner IMPMÂŤ STAFF

NASA scientists have gained a glimpse !it what could have been the first stars to form in the universe. Infrared images taken from tHe Spitzer Space Telescope have r~vealed low-energy light that is theorized to have originated from stars that could have existed up to 200 million years ago. "The objects disappeared eons a~, yet their light is still traveling across the uniYerse," reported Dr. Alexander KashIinsky of NASA in the November 3 issue of Nature. , The discovery was made at the NASA Goddard Centre in Maryland, where scientists were analyziOlg images taken by the Spitzer telescope of the distant constellation of Draco. The images revealed a massive distribution of infrared light that appeared to originate from several sources, also called the cosmic infrared background (eIB). When scientist's removed all known sources of light from the CIB, such as stars and galaxies, they were left with a glow similar to that of a far-away city at night. The remaining glow was stronger, in fact, than all of the known light sources combined. "We think we are seeing the collective light from millions of the first objects to form in the universe," commented K,ashlinsky. j The hypothetical "big bang" is!I believed to have occurred 13.7 bi:llion years ago. At that present

time, hydrogen and helium atoms' came into existence, but were unable to form into stars. The 200million-year period between the big bang and the forming of the first stars is known as the cosmic "Dark Ages," since no light existed at that time. When stars finally formed, their fusion created the other metals (elements) that exist today. This group of stars is labelled Population III, as it was the third group to be classified by cosmologists. Although Population III stars would have initially emitted ultraviolet light most strongly, the universe's expansion would have slowed its wavelength, over time, to the infrared scale detected by telescopes such ali Spitzer. If the images are indeed that of Population III stars, they have a lot to tell about them. For instance, the glow's intensity is uneven; often the brightest spots appear to be groups of individual light sources. This indicates the massive size of these initial stars - about a hundred times larger than our own sun and demonstrates how they existed in clusters, connected, most likely, by their own gravity. Scientists also hypothesize that the life span of these stars could not have been very long, given the intense speed at which they burned. "It seems these first stars were quite unlike those we see today. They wen: huge thermonuclear furnaces, few and far between, but they burned ferociously because they were so massive," said Kashlinsky.

Michael L. Davenport RobBlom IMPRINT STAFF

Tussle over Titan

Saturn'smoon Titanhas amuch thicker atmosphere than anyothermoon and, with cloud cover 300 km from the surface, a deeper atmosphere than that of even the Earth. Like Earth, Titan has a nitrogen-rich atmosphere. Some scientists believe it resembles what would have been Earth's atmosphere before life began here. Previouslyitwas thoughtthatmethane in Titan'S atmosphere originated in a large pool of liquid methane on the surface. Now, evidence points to volcanicacrivity-vokanoeswhich spew not molten rock, but hydrocarbons and ice into the air. Activity from liquid on the surfaceisalsoincontestas scientists race to contradict each other. '''The geological evidence clearly shows there has been flowing liquid on the surface, forming large basins, in the recent past This implies a large amount of liquid on the surface. These features are 'young,' as they are deep and well-

histo~y

Early third century church found

While removing rubble from a planned prison site, Ramil Razilo hit upon an edge of an elaborate mosaic, unveiling what appears to be the oldest church ever discovered in the Holy Land. . The disccm:rywas made in Megiddo, near the biblical Armageddon and dates back to the third century, decades before Constantine legalized Christianity across the Byzantine Empire. Mosaics in the church reveal the ancient Christian symbol of a fish, which predates the cross. Pottery remnants, Greek inscriptions and ancient geometric patterns found at the site suggest that the church was not in use in the fourth century. Further analyses show the location was not far from the final battle between good and evil predicted in the New Testment As well, the inscriptions indicate the church predated the BY7~tine era and the building was not builtin the Basilica style, standard under Byzantine rule. These details lead to skepticismbyarcheologists that the dating is incorrect. mdavenport@imprint.uwaterloo.ca rblom@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

" the

g)!J'V Teacher Awards To nominate yuur outstanding

All the forefront stars, galaxies and artifacts from the infrared image of the constellation Draco (top) are masked (bottom). The remnants of the first stars of the universe are seen by the glow. Some researchers fear the NASA team may have not accounted for every possible light source in their editing of the images. Richard Ellis of the California Institute of Technology, for example, points out that "[a] number of untested assumptions ... could represent a weakness in the analysis." The Population III theory, however, is not.as yet disproven

and appears to be the consensus among most cosmologists who have seen the Draco images. NASA plans to study the phenomenon in greater depth using the James Webb Space Telescope when it is launched in 2013. The world is on its way, it seems, to looking as far back in time as it can go. agardiner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

inr4rHtor. contact: T__ing RaIoUJaI

and CoRtinuing' Education O'RACEt Offiee

Me 4855 Ext. 3857 . . .ilallon Deadline: i_Friday illFelnaty

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SSIFIEDS volunteer database-driven website developers. Graphic design skills an asset. Competitive salaries for the experienced developer. Quick hire for the competent volunteers. Send resume to hr@meehatrosofr.com.

HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eightmonth commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON,N2G3V2. Seeking other computer programing students with some idle clock cycles interested in collaborating on some innovative software ideas. Objective is a saleable application or to start a business. Share in equity: Worst case, it'll look good on the resume. matthewevans@golden.net. No attachments please. Website developer wanted - paid and

HOUSING Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 725-5348. Attention co-op students! Study in style. Student accommodations at centrally located luxury downtown Toronto hotel. Featuring elegant, modem fully furnished, private, phone service, Tv, cable, 24hour security service, wireless internet

and more. No 12-month commitment required. Units from $1,098 including meals. Tours available Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., 111 Carlton Street. Call Joseph at 1-800-565-8865. www. torontoprimrosehotel.com, password: Student. Housing for rent - available now for one, two or three clean, studious or prof easy going people until December· or longer. Shared unit by grocery, restaurants Mr.Sub, Sunshop, pharmacy, drycleaners, movie rentals, Tim Hortons and much more. Washer, dryer, fridge, stove, microwave, central air, inividual heat control, balcony view of park with tennis, soccer, baseball games, cross country skiing, trails for jogging, hiking, biking, walking for use. Terms negotiable. Located on

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SERVICES 10-10-940 discount long-distance phone service. No contracts or sign-up. Diall0~ 10-940 before your long-distance call to save. Calls appear on your local Bell phone bill. www.I0I0940.com for rates. Campus Hoodies - looking for custom embroidered clothing for your rez floor, rez hall, faculty, fraternity/sorority, intramural team, campus club/organization? We carry brand names like Modrobes, American Apparel, Gildan, Hanes. Pick up your free starter kit from Aussies or

Ad/Production Manager: Laurie Tigert Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca contact Rob at 1-866-220-3861 or~. campushoodies.com. , \ Overworked, course preparation, liter+-ture reviews, conference papers? PhD ~n social sciences available to assist with editing or research. Fax 519-662-2777 with description of assistance requirtld for quotation. I

TRAVEL Spring break 2006 - Cuba, Dominican, Mexico and more starting at $890. Montreal New Year's starting at $99! Over 30 years in student travel industry. Lowest price guaranteed! Call 1-866-6278747. www.s-travel.com. Book friends, go free!

Student cost: $5.35 (incl C;ST) -.30 ,\ords . Non-Student: $10.70 (incl CST) -.30 "onls Business: $16.()5 (inc! GST) -30 "ords

US BULL TIN Upcoming SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2005 Become a development instructor in Africa. Please attend the information meeting at 1 p.m., P!anetAidStore, third floor, 546 Yonge Street, Toronto. E-mail jody@iicdmichigan.org or jodybenninger@hotmail.com for more info. ' WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 16,2005 Toyfair, come one, come all! Hildegard Marsden Cooperative Day Nursery hosts their annual Christmas shopping gala on Nov 16, 17 and 18 from 8:30 a.m. to 4:45 p.m., Davis Centre, room 1301, lCR loung, To participate or for info call 88501211, ext 5437. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2005 "Raising Resilient Children" with Dick O'Brien, 7:30 p.m. This workshop will focus on developing personal resiliency in children for the 21st century. For info & reservation call 743-9091. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2005 Coffee House -7 to 10 p.m. at St. Paul's College, MacKirdy Hall. Spoken Word DJ, refreshments, food and guitar and more. Admission includes drink and tasty treat. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 2005 The Inefficiency Committee of St. Jerome's University presents Professor Alan Blum (Sociology, Social and Political Thought, York University) on The Question of Efficiency and Inefficiency as an Ethical Collision. 3:30 p.m. to 5 :00 p.m. Siegfried Hall (Room 1030), St. Jerome's University. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2005 orchestra@uwaterloo first anniversary concert. Music by Beethoven and Tchaikovsky, with guest artists Romy Shioda, Hector VaSquez and Boyd McDonald at

uw.

Call for Free Info Pack:

1.. 888·270·2941

8 p.m., Humanities Theatre, Hagey Hall, University of Waterloo. Tickets free from Theatre Box Office: call 888-4908. More info: www.orchestra.uwaterloo.ca. The Canadian Hearing Society invites the community to join us for our Open House/Christmas Get-together at our new facilities in Eastwood Swuare Plaza (Weber and Ottawa St.) from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. Please join us for refreshments, view our technical device display and tour our new facilities. Door prizes too!

Announcements Research participants wanted - Mavis Fenn, a professor in the departm~nt of religious studies, is studying how being Buddhist affects student identity. She would like to talk to both international students and Canadian students. This research will hopefully lead to a better understanding of the role that religion plays in adaptation to campus life and sense of individual identity. No one has done this so you have the opportunity to participate in pioneering research. If you volunteer, you will be asked to fill in a questiounaire and if you agree, to be interviewed. The total would be approximately 1.5 hours of your time. The study has been reviewed and received ethics clearance through the Office of Research Ethics. However, the final decision about participation is yours and you may remove your consent at any time. If you are interested in participating, please e-mailProf.Fennatmfenn@uwaterloo.ca or leave a message with your name, e-mail or phone number at 885-1465, ext 21l. Alternatively, you can come St. PaUl's College, room 209: Want cool jewelry for Christmas? E-mail Anayabi: com_march2006@hotmail. com. Handmade jewelry, clothes (pants) for sizes 16+ including cargo capris and gauchas! If interested, delivery to campus is available. .

Your recycling efforts can help support the Canadian Diabetes Association by donating your used clothing, household items, ink cartridges and cell phones. To donate please call 1-800-505-5525. Goodbye from Nancy O'Neil: Waterloo students are the best of the best, that is what I have always told students and staff. I want to say goodbye to the students and staff at the university. I will miss the students the most. They taught me a lot about myself and shared their lives with me. Going to work each day was like working with a second family. To all of you that have touched my life over the last years, I offer my thanks and my best wishes. If you would like to send me a

personal message, I can be contacted at noneilI822@hotrnail.com. I am volunteering my time to organize and promote the "Peace Concert-Dedicated to Tibet." It will be held on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 at Kitchener's City. Hall. Regards, Nancy O'Neil, former Co-ordinator of Special Events, Bookings and Programs for the Student Life Centre. Win up to $1000 for your writing! Students in third and fourth years qulify for STC's Heidi Thiessen Memorial Award for Student Technical Writing. Visit www. stc-soc.orglawardslstudent.php for details and an application.

CECS MONDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2005 Successfully negotiating job offers, TC 1208,4:30-5:30p.m.Increasetheoddsof getting what you want when negotiating salary and other details related to the job offer. This workshop is geared toward graduating stUdents. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2005 Work search strategies, TC 1208,3:304:30 p.m. Practise networking and other strategies in order to increase the effectiveness of your job search. WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 16,2005 Interview skills: preparing f'or questions, TC 1208, 11:30a.m.-12:30p.m. Discuss and learn from taped excerpts of actual interviews. Letter writing, TC 1208, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Learn how to use letters to your advantage in the job search. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2005 Teaching English abroad, TC 22111, 2:30-3:30 p.m. Find out about TESOL certification, relationship between a certificate and employment, skills required to teach ESL, jobs, etc. Presented by John Richardson, lawyer, author and provider of professional test prep and admission programs. LSAT Strategy and law school bound TC 2218 12:30-1:30 p.m. Hear about LSAT strategies and best practises to prepare and effective law school application. All attendees who sign up for the newsletter will receive a free copy of LSAT success with CD by Thomas White. Presented by John Richardson, lawyer, author and provider of professional test preparations and admissions programs. . Interview Skills: Selling your skills, TC 1208,2:30-4:30 p.m. Do not stop at the fundamentals; you must prove your skills in the interview. Here is your opportunity to practise and improve. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 22,2005 Info session: University of Western Ontario, TC 1208, 4:30-6:00 p.m. An information session on the MD/PhD program at Western.

Ongoing THURSDAYS UW Fornm for Independent Thought - a student think-tank, has regular meetings Thursdays at 5 p.m. in the SLC Multipurpose room. Visit http://uwfit.org for details.

Student Awards and Financial Aid Tuesday, November 22, 2005 Last day to sign confirmation of enrollment. Thursday, December 1, 2005 Last day to submit Undergraduate Bursary Appeals for fall term only. Upcomingscholarship/bursary deadlines - many awards available! Please check website for full listing of deadlines in November. Need a job? Go. to our website for information about the Work Study Program. For further information, check out the new and improved Student Awards & Financial Aid website at http://safa. uwaterloo.ca!

Volunteer The MHATES program is looking for volunteers. Students will receive training to offer educational support services to peers coping with mental health issues. Applications available at Health Services 123B. Resume builckr! Volunteers needed to visit people with Alzheimer's disease through Alzheimer Society Volunteer Companion Program. One to four hours per week. Next training session on No~ vember 8. Call Jill 742-1422. Wanted! Volunteers for a research project. Help us test an internet-based survey of post-secondary student's tobacco use. We are asking smokers and non-smokers to complete a brief paper and pencil questionnaire and the same questionnaire on-line. Completing them both should take you about 20-25 minutes. E-mail Vidhi: vadlakha@uwaterloo.ca to set up a data collection appointment. Your anonymity will be protected and you have a chance to enter your name into 100 draws for $20.00 UW Retail Services gift certificates! This project has received ethics clearance through the Office of Research Ethics.

TIiIS ~~S

aroCJ{1E WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up. That morning I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant, say happy birthday and possibly have a present for me. As 'it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone happy birthday. I thought •.. well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came to breakfast and didin't say a word. So when I lefr for the office, I WI,IS feeling pretty low aJ;}d somewhat despondent. As I walked in to my office, my secretary Jane said, "GoQd morning boss, happy birthday!" It {telt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door aJnd said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go a.ut to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. B.ut we didn't go where we normally wOIJ,ld go. We dined instead at a little place wi,th a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beatiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her llpartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, afrer a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my wife, kids and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing happy birthday. And I just sat there on the couch ... naked.

_DAY. NOVEMBER 11, 2005

PORTS

I_c.,,_ .

1 spo,t.~upnnt.uwater oo.ca Sp<.ttts Editor: Salim Eteer Sports Assistant: Marianne Nguyen

Warriors batter Badgers Warrior men beat Brock 3 - 2 Whitney Wager IMPltINT INTERN

On Saturday, November 5, the Waterloo men's hockey team burst into St. Catharines looking for a fight. They found it in the second-ranked Brock Badgers. After slightly embarrassing the home team, the Warriors reblrned home with a much-deserved 3-2 victory over the badgers. rloo headed into the game with no ehension, and it showed as they out-shot outplayed their opponents in all three approach every game expecting a v:in," said head coach Brian Bourque. Not that the Warriors are the superstars of the OUA, hut this attitude may be appropriate coosidering Waterloo now has a hefty 3-1-0 record, losing only their first game of the sea§on. While Brock had the first goal of the game in the first period on Saturday, the Warriors more than answered with a goal from point matl Alex MacDonell, along with a monstrous 15 ~hots on net in the second. The assists were credited to forwards Kevin Hurley and Jordan Brenner. 'The third saw Waterloo nick the lead with an early goal from Hurley, his third of the season, assisted by Doug Spooner and Matt Levicki. With an unfortunate penalty for checking from behind to Waterloo, the Badgers were given a five-minute power play, but weren't Iud"yenough to score on Warriors' goaltender Cw-tis Darling. 'fhirteen minutes into the third, the puck riCt,>cheted off of a partition in the boards and popped out front of the net, only to be

pounded in for Brock's second goal. Despite their misfortune, the Warriors did not fret. "When you get dawn to the dying minutes you never kriow what can happen, but we weren't worried," commented coachBourque on the goal. Waterloo did not let it break their stride and kept hammering down on the Badgers for the remaining seven minutes of the game. They laid the offensive pressure on thick, which highlighted their outstanding play. ''The forecheckers were as good as they have been [all season]," exclaimed Bourque. Their hard work paid off and with two minutes left in the third, Brock landed two more men in the box, giving Waterloo all the incentive they needed to secure the ·win. Forty seconds later rookie Sharie Hart hammered one home for the Warriors, the assist going to third-year Mike Della Mora. Waterloo seamlessly managed to hold. on to the lead for the much-deserved 3-2 win. Goalie Curtis Darling contributed to the triumph with a solid .822 save percentage, standing tall against the meek 17 shots that Brock could muster. Meanwhile Waterloo thundered 35 shots on the Badgers' net. Looking forward to their next opponents, cross-town rivals Laurier Golden Hawks, the men are preparing for a great game. Laurier has added several new players to its lineup, but the Warriors are confident that they will come out on top. "Both teams will come out flying," Bourque predicts for the upcoming game. "I don't know what's going to happen, but it will be a battle, that's for sure." SIMONA

wwager@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A Waterloo swimmer competes in a-backstroke event on November 6.

Warriors whip, weave'and win against Brock Badgers 69·67 Th~

Waterloo Warriors were victorious once aga,in November 3, but this time their adversaries were the notorious Brock Badgers. The Badgers are one of ilie best teams in the OUA, ha~g secured second place in the OUA West Cmunpionships as well as qualifying for the nationals last year. i'he Warriors pushed strong, well and early in the hrst half with various offensive plays to i.ake an early lead. The Warriors' Michael Dafis pushed forward with 11 points, end-

ing the first half with a score of 32-28 for the Warriors. The Warrior defence floundered in the first few minutes of the second half, allowing the Badgers to swipe the lead away. The Warriors soon recovered from their apparent daze and although the Badgers withheld the lead for some time, the might of the Warriors prevailed, ending the game with an extremely close 69-67 scoreboard. "It was an important win against a very tough opponent in their own gym. It was a physical game against a bigger team and we were able to hold our own," said War-

riors coach Tom Kieswetter on his team's performance. ''We will continually need to work on our rebounding and defensive intensity, since we will always be undersized." Warriors guard Matt Kieswetter charged throughout the game to get 16 points for the Warriors. Michael Davis secured 15 points, 4 assists and 9 rebounds, while Olivier Quesnel racked up 13 points and 3 rebounds. Gerard Magennis also aided the Warrior triumph as he weaved through the Badgers to get 11 points, 4 steals, 4 assists and 3 rebounds. Super star Graham Jarman was injqred early

in the second half; persistent, he stayed in throughout the second half, securing 6 points for the Warriors. For the Badgers, Kevin Stienstra (CIS l\iVP) pawed his way through the Warrior defence and snatched 21 points, 4 assists and an outstanding 17 rebounds. Badgers guard Mike Kemp took Brock up by 15 points, 3 steals, an assist and 3 rebounds. The Warriors face the York Lions November 11 and the Laurentian Voyageurs November 12. seteer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

oteg, a second year Engineering student from LongeuiL, QC, led the Warriors in competitions this past weekend against McMaster and Carleton. Against McMaster, he won the 100 and 200 free and the 50 backstroke. In the 50 backstroke he went 27.42 Stlrpassing the CIS qualifying time of 27 .54. On Sunday Oleg continued his winning ways with firsts in the 50 and 100 free, and also in th€ 200 1M.

Angelo Mclsoac, Swimming Angela, a first year Environmental Engineering student from Orillia, Ontario, led the Warriors in two mEets this past weekend. On saturday vs. McMaster, Angela had a first in the 50 breaststroke, and second in the 200 free, while on Sunday versus Carleton she won the 400 1M, and was second in the 100 fly and 50 breaststroke. Angela was also a member of the winning 4 x 50 medley relay swimming the breaststroke leg against Carleton.

Saturday. November 12. 2005 vs York Uons. 7'.30 PM. uw CIF Arena SUnday. NovemIler 13. 2005 . vs Guelph Gryphons. 2:00 PM. UW CIF Arena

Saturday. November 12. 2005 vs U of T Varsity Blues. 3:00 PM UW PAC Pool

'FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2005

Contract negotiations I 0 I - .0. gets 72 ours So with those teams in mind, Two-l\finute Warning puts forth some unique contract clauses and ideas for T.O.'s next contract - assuming he gets one.

So Terrell Owens finally got his pink slip this week. About time, too. In fact, I think the biggest head with the smallest brain in football deserves some props for his stint with the Philadelphia Eagles. After all, he lasted almost 18 months, which is a lot longer than anyone, figured he'd last in Philly - or anywhere, for that matter. But to sit here and pen a column about why T.O should have been suspended would be a waste of space in this fine publication. Defending the Eagles' decision to rid themselves of T.O would be like defending a George W Bush defence policy to an Iraqi refugee convention. 'l~o. has done enough stupid, insensitive, reprehensible, illogical and my-brain-is:nothing-but-a-mashed-potato things to render any retrospective useless. Everybody remembers all the dumb things T.O has done because he does a new one every six or seven days. But I consider myself a forward-looking individual, choosing to let T.O's actions speak for themselves. Instead of furtherberatinghim,Ihave chosen to lend myself to the two or three hairbrained general managers who might actually be interested in T.O.'s services come next season. Why anybody would want to take a shot at rehabilitatingthi~guyis beyond me. The appeal of acquiring T.O is on parwith the appeal of acquiring chlamydia. But fear not, there will be a small handful of teams that will take the Faustus-like tradeoff and sell their souls for the NFL's version of Helen of Troy - T.O himsel£

Shorter term - much shorter term I heard an ESPN football analyst opine that Owens will never again see a multi-year contract. After all, T.O is a media-relations and reputation risk every time he straps on the pads. So while teams are likely only to pony up one- or two-year deals, I say take it a step further. Offer Terrell a 72-hour contract, renewable for subsequent 72-hour periods at the team's discretion. If T.O doesn't make an ass of himself and his new organization within the first three days, he may be a changed man - or he might have laryngitis. The silence clause Slap a fine on T.O for opening his mouth - every time he opens his mouth. Newspaper classified ads charge by the word and so too should T,O.'s team. With every word the widemouthed wideout utters in a public forum, twenty bucks comes off of his payche~ue. General managers may also consider a tongueremoval method, where the terms of his new deal stipulate that T.O has his tongue cut out by team doctors. However, T.O might not sign that one - although he is even stupider than he looks. Unique punishments for detrimental conduct T.O. believes he could always do it better himself, so let him. With every quarterback he calls soft (Donovan McNabb), confused (fy Detmer), or queer (Jeff Garcia), another blocker gets removed from T.O.'s routes. Before long, the self-proclaimed legend would be taking snaps himself, with nothing but an overweight centre and two yards between him and 11 angry,

JOB OPPORTUNITY! We are currently looking to fill the position of Federation Orientation Committee Administrative Coordinator The Federation Orientation Committee Administrative Coordinator will assist the Federation Orientation Committee in the planning and implementing of the cross campus Orientation Week events and other cross committee collaborative efforts. This position will chair cross campus event sub-committees and distribute tasks appropriately amongst the team members. The cross campus events include, but are not limited to, Toga, Monte Carlo Night, Black and Gold Day, Safe Home Program and the Information Booth. This position will also be responsible for taking the mintues at the weekly Federation Orientation Committee meetings. This position will work part-time (10 hours per week) throughout the winter term, and full-time (35 hours per week) throughout the spring term. JOB REQUIREMENTS: Extensive experience as either a Federation Orientation Committee member or an Orientation Leader is essential. Excellent knowledge of all 'I-oorientation cross campus events. Excellent knowledge of Orientation Week and the goals of the Federation of Students and the University of Waterloo for Orientation Week. Proven event planning experience. Proven communication skills. Proven experience leading coIrimittees and managing teams. Excellent writing skills and interpersonal skills. Ability to work independently. HOW TO APPLY: Applicants are asked to submit their resume along with a one-page writing sample on the topic "Before I came to university I wish I had known ..." Appplications should be submitted no later than Friday, November 25, 2005 to Becky Wroe, Orientation /Special Events Manager, Federation of Students. APPLICATION DEADLINE: Friday, November 25, 2005

For a full job description please contact either; Becky Wroe, Orientation/Special Events Manager, rlwroe@uwaterloo.ca or Heather FitzGerald, Director, Student Life, hafitzge@uwaterloo.ca.

steroid-fuelled defensive animals. After a few unimpeded run-ins with the Michael Strahans of the world, T.O will never talk smack again - at least not in a language we'll be able to understand.

The Drew No-senhaus clause Allow no negotiations with T.O.'s super agent, Drew Rosenhaus. The man is Satan in grey, pinstriped Armani. This is the guy that went on national television this week and said he "loved" Owens and was "behind him 110 per cent" - 'nuff said.

Obviously, there would have to be a few more guidelines - we haven't even hit on coach-player relationships yet. But if these ground rules were followed, a team might have a fighting chance against T. O.'s ego. The man is a great football player, and even if he seems to start anew with whichever team takes the T.O risk next season, don't expect the new Terrell Owens to last. I'll give it 72 hours. amguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Warriors enjoy • • some victories Lament some defeats as well

RTS BRIEFS Whitney Wager IMPRINT INTERN

Warriors continue to improve, playing one of their best games of the season. With several scoring opportunities, the ladies skated hard and played excellently as a team. The loss Was an obvious disappointment, but the women hope it has prepared them for hosting the Brock Badgers on November 12 at 7:30p. m., and the Guelph Gryphons on November 13 at 2:00p.m. Swimming

Nov. 5 vs. McMaster Nov. 6 vs. Carleton

Badminton

Nov. 6 - Western 10, Waterloo 3 In the last game before the OUA finals, the Warriors managed to secure a tie for first place ranking alongside Western and Toronto. On Sunday, in one of the most challenging and exciting matches of the season, Waterloo traveled to London to face the Mustangs and fight for that number one spot. Although the score displayed a drastic 10-3 loss, it does not do justice to the Warriors' play. While only managing to take the three men's singles games, spectacular efforts from Chris Erven, Charles Pyne, Rolf Horn, Roma Zhu and Chris Zacca earned them the points they achieved. Entering the OUA finals with a score ranking them in third, the Warriors look ahead to November 20, when they will encounter the Toronto Varsity Blues in the semi':final round, held on Western premises. Men's Hockey

Men Last Saturday, November 5, the Warriurs traveled to Hamilton to face the Maraud(~s. The men came out on top, defeating McMaster 85-68. On Sunday versus the Ravens, they could not manage the win, falling short with a score of 145.5-134.5. OlegChernukhinled the Warric)tS, winning three events each day. On Saturday he won the 100m and 200m freestyle events, as well as the 50m backstroke, in which he also became the first Warrior to qualify for the tIS championship with a time of 27.42-secol1ds. Chernukhin's time surpassed the 27.54 sec011dqualifying standard. On Sunday he placed msts in the 50m and 100m freestyles and the 200m individual medley. Alex Watson also stood out for the ~iar riors with wins against both McMaster a,nd Carleton in the 50m and 200m fly. Raymond Chow pulled off wins in the 200m and 5f)m breaststroke against the Marauders, as welt as the 200m and 100m breaststroke against the' Ravens. Other Warriors to place first we.re: Kader El-Fityani and David Arcand, Who earned first-place rankings versus McMaster in the 200m individual medley and the 200m backstroke, respectively.

Nov. 3 - Waterloo 4, York 3 (OT) Thursday, November 3 saw the Warrior men struggle for a 4-3 win over the York lions. Earning a quick lea~ two minutes into the game, Kevin Hurley scored. Seven minutes later Warrior David Edgeworth added one onto the Women scoreboard, only to be followed up 50 seconds Against the Marauders, the ladies were 110t later with another goal from Hurley. Assists fortunate, losing 105-44. The next day, verl>us went to Doug Spooner, Jordan _Brenner and the Carleton Ravens, the Warrior women ~ Ryan Macgregor. Up by three, with a long game came up short, suffering a 153.5-125.5l4ss. still ahead of them, the Lions responded with Angela Issac led the women against McM~sa goal two minutes later, concluding all scoring for the period. The second second period • ter, placing first in the 50m breaststroke and second in the 200m freestyle. Ana Douder:ina was scoreless, and then York evened things placed second in the 100m freestyle and the up in the third with two more goals, forcing 200m backstroke. Issac also placed first in the game into overtime. One minute in, on a the 400m 1M on Sunday against the Rav(!ns power play, Spooner scored with assists from and second in the 100m fly and 50m brea.stHurley and Matt Levicki, achieving the 4-3 win stroke. Douderina also placed first in the for the Warriors. 50m and 100m freestyle and second in the 200m 1M. Unfortunately, the women cOl.ud Women's Hockey not match the efforts of the Marauders a,nd Ravens, but look forward to their next meet Nov. 5 - Laurier 5, Waterloo 0 on November 12 against the Toronto Var!;ity The Warriors add to their record another Blues, at 3:00p.m. loss, handed to them by the first-place Golden Hawks. Though suffering a conside~ably - with files from UWathlb!ics larger differential between the scores than wwager@imprint.uwaterloo.ca their previous 2-1 loss against Laurier, the

1.1tIDAY. NOVEMBER. 11, 2005

omen's voU b I shut out ngs in close match James Rowe SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

WOTI1el1'S

volleliball team played host to the

\'{!est.:rn -Mustangs this past Satutfalling in three straight 5ets to defending OUA champs from London. The W'arriors were able to put up a strong fight against the undefeated lVlusrangs, losing by close scores of 25-23 and 26-24. Itl the opening set, the \'V'arriors fe!U bd1ind quickly as Western junlped O',J.t to a 14-6 lead. , U\10' was able to battle back and cut t~)c d(;ficit to two points at 20-18, but ll~:iat\l.";:;'s as dose as they would get as the lVlustangs were able to hold on and take d"lt: first set by a score of 25-22. The Mustangs were able to build a Ct),'1lfixtable Jead again in the second built a 12-8 advantage. lhe \'V'arriors were able well in the middle stages taking seven of the next 10 to square the score at 15-15. However, w.ith dlC score tied at 20the Mustangs once again showed w hythey are the seventh-ranked team in the nation, winning the key points hue in the set for a 25-23 victory and a commanding two-scts-to-l1one

The \i7arriors' chances against \'V'estern were hurt by the absence of Hila1}' Lemieux, a third-year outside hitter from London. Hobbled bv what Grieve described as a "lower body injury," Lemieux ,vas limited to only playing the last few poims uf each set. "it definitely hurt not having her skill and tenaciousness 011 the court," Grieve said. "She is competiti've and tough and was willing to play more, but I fdt the price to pay of a potentially more serious injury was too high. \1<{'e don't expect her to be at 100 pet cent

Op~fI,

subject photo conf;l!;l;st. Open to UW siudl!;l;uis only.

Submissioru: must ~ "cecmpcmied by contcl.et inrloritnQtt Gtnd. student on thrM submissions per student. No previottSly publish~d photos. PigitcLlly "lte-red photos (;\X'e di!'.lcot..tr.:aged. Su1nnissions will be Qccepted electronically etC

until January."

e,ie@impl"int"uwQterloo.co.

This ,'leek, the \varriors travel to Brock on Saturday, before taking on t.he cross-tovm rival Golden Hawks Wednesday night at Laurier. Coach Grieve, although happywith his team's efforts so far, feels the best is yet to come in this young season. "The last two weeks we have performed much closer to our potential," the young coach said. "I am pleased \\~th our blocking and improvements in digging. Offensivdywe have come a long way, but have only scratched the surface of where we can go."

or in perwn in room 1116 SLC bom 9~5 PM Mon-i"l.·i. Pietures caon be picked. up "f; tlw Imprint office CLrtel" Pec. 2. Imprint is not re~ol:Uibll1l for lost or d(;u:naged photos.

(~dvantage.

Waterloo \vas able to shake the trend of off to slow starts in thirdfr'lme sets as the Warriors ran up a 12-5 le«.d behind the strong play of first-year outside hitter Diana Robbins. Just as the \10'arriors had overcome early deficits in the first two sets, so too did the Mustangs in the third, batback to tie the score at 19-19. there, the t-wo sides traded until Waterloo's Gaby Lesnati:empt went into the net ~tch point for U\1010, giving the '''''',,,;-nn,,, a 26-24 victory in the set victory in the match. The Warri~rs were able to hold M118tangs to only 24 kills on the the lowest total of tlle season ~~t for \V'estern. U\li/ had 38 kills, lep hy Lesniak with 12 and Robbins, a 51,lf1' rookie from London, who had 9kihs and 0 errors on 19 attempts a!png with 11 digs. CoachJason Grieve had high praise for the play of lbe rookie Robbins, s\l.ying, "She played very well for us both offensively and defensively. She n,,'l.kes "'Gmc mistakes due to inexDl!1t:1dlCe but she is improving every week with hard work and mental preparedness." V.ltimately, the Warriors were undone by the ten service errors they c{?1Illnitted throughout the match, a made even more costly by the scores in each set. , "They [the missed serves] really l1;t~ot us in the foot," said Grieve. "',};re b~'e'\v numerous momentum-grabbing ()t~portunities, which is vital in vol: ley balL If we cleaned up some basic S}:srem and skill execution tllls match could have gone li"te other way." Despite his team's errors, Grieve also had praise for the effort and dcf(;~uce of the Mustang squad. "They played terrific defence all ni",'bt long. They pursued every ball an<-Irnanage to keep it alive and send it " said the fourth--ye'lr coach. The coach was also pleased with th" hlocking prowess his team dispointing out that \'\:estern's all-star Melissa Mann ,vas in check bv the blocking trio Lcfiniak, Susa~ Murray and Sarah

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