2005-06_v28_no21_Imprint

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UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER

VOL 28, NO 21

FRIDAY, JANUARY

6, 2006

IMPRINT .UWATERLOO.CA

heerleaders take bronze in Nationals Wttitftey Wager tM!'RINt INTERN

A_ong 19 other universities, the Warrior leaders secured third place in the large co-ed division. UW's 2005 cheerfor the third year in a row, placed in thle Cheerleading National Championships on Ftidav December 2.

W'ater1oo, 10 points away from tbeQueen's (;PIdon Gaels in a close run for second place, hll/d a considerable 54-point distance between th!emsdves and the fourth-ranked Simon Fraser U~versity. The Western Mustangs dominated in]firstplace with 703.5 points overall; the Warri~rs earned a hefty 628.5 poitfts.

I While WesternWllS rumoured tohavealock o~" the competition, the Warriors performed ~llendy in order to rise to the challenge, ami despite the talented Mustangs, Waterloo prepared for everything. "On any given ~, it can happen," exclaimed UW's Athletics ~tor,Judy McCrae. \ The telUns competed in two runs--th.t; displaying th~Ubdeniable deteo;rud spirit in each. The Warriors proved th~mselves to be tough competitors, especially inithe second run, ranking second above the Golden Gaels and only 36 points below the ~~tangs. Despite remarkable efforts, Waterloo fc.t. just below Queen's, earning the bronze in t:hJ: competition.

I In addition, Kurt Brown and Jen Robertson w4m the National Co-ed Partner Stunt competition'\vith a score of 55. The pair shut out several top-notch duos, including partners from Laval (5~, Simon Fraser (51.5) and Ottawa (47). , For the second year in a row, the Waterloo cheerleaders have ranked third at the National$. With silver in 2003, this is the team's third cqnsecutive year placing in the Nationals and is a streak they would like to uphold. "They put in a lot of time and dedication," said McCrae.

"They're real athletes. They're great."

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See CHEERLEADING page 22

UAjl.""',.y uw ATHLETICS

The UW Cheerleading squad rose to a third-place finish at the Cheerleading National Championship hosted at the PAC on Friday, December 2, 2005. The Warriors faced 19 other university teams in the heated competition, finishing a close 10 points behind Queen's. The tournament was won by the Western Mustangs, a favourite for several years running. This is the third consecutive year that the UW squad has placed in the competition.

eds proposes mandatory clubs support fee Micheel L. Davenport IMPRiNt STAFF

In a press release this past Wednesday, the Fe:deriltion of Students outlined a proposal for adding an a non-refundable $1.75 ancilliary fee to every full-time undergrad's tuition statement. Whether the fee is actu-

ally added will depend on a referendum (in which every full-time undergrad is eligible to vote) to be held this term.

Feds stated that the number of clubs in the past two years has "skyrocketed" and claims it needs additional funding to maintain the $50 a term promised to every club - over $4,500 was spent on this funding in

the 2004-2005 fiscal year. The press release goes on to say that, with additional funding, the $50 stipend could be increased to $100 or $200 per term. Alternatively, some money could be set aside in startup or endowment funds. For a $20,000 investment every year, Feds could accumulate a principal large enough to earn $10,000 in interest by

2018, which could be used to supplement current funding (assuming four per cent compound interest per year.) Many different things could be done with the money - Feds would gain approximately $65,000 in additional funding per year.

See FEE, page 3

At Your Service For Your Ocean and Air Shipments kwint@sympatico.ca

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",[DAY, JANUARY 6, 2006'

3

Campus groups move: on the student vote Jacqueline McKoy IMPRINT STAFF

Get ready to get checkmarking - preparations have begun for January 23's federal election; the s~cond in merely 18 months.

Elections Canada has been stationed in the SLCsince this past Wednesday to register potential voters and will also be available on Monday and Tuesday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Waterloo students can choose to vote in the riding they live in while attending UW (usually Kitchener-Waterloo) or in their hometown's riding either in person or by advance polling.

Earlier this week, a group of representatives from Student Council and various Feds committees led by Feds VP education Howie Bender helped to cover the campus with informative Elections Canada posters. They also paid a visit to Village 1 and Ron Edyt Village on Thursday, targeting first-year students, many of whom are prospective first-time voters. The groupwillalsoprovide transportation

Correction

to polling stations near the university on election day.

Feds has also recently launched a website at vote.feds.ca to provide resources on each candidate and party represented in the KitchenerWaterloo riding, as well as a selection of campaign news from around the country and voting instructions.

In addition to the riding's previously announced candidates (Andrew Telegdi for the liberals, Conservative Amjer Mandur, the NDP's Edwin Laryea, and Green Party member Pauline Richards), two new candidates will compete in Kitchener-Waterloo.

Former UW student Julian Ichim, best known for assaulting Stockwell Day with chocolate milk in 2002, is running for the Marxist-Leninist party and political science student Ciprian Mihalcea has registered as an independant candidate. Six are scheduled to state their views in an all-candidates debate January 17 in the SLC. jmckoy@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Fee: opinions Continued from cover

In the December 2 issue of

.Imprint, the article entitled

MICHAEL L. DAVENPORT

The first Bomber line of the term provided an'unexpected avenue for competition and entertainment. While the line reached the Turnkey desk, different people vied for a chance to jump the to the front. For example, four girls shoved two limes up the pantlegs of their male counterparts, trying to pull the limes out of the opposite pantlegs in the shortest time.

"Four candidates to compete for student votes in the Kitchener-Waterloo riding" reversed the photos of Conservative candidate Amjer Mandur and NDP candidate Edwin Laryea. The top right photo in the article is actually that of Mr. Mandur and the , bottom left photo is of Mr. Laryea. We apologize for any confusion caused.

-Imprint

''1 think it's a good idea because funds for clubs is lacking", said Iljya Kalai, president of the Chess Club.

"However,I think it is unfair to make the fee non-refundable, as not all students participate in clubs."

This is breaking news arid as such has not been discussed at a council meeting yet. h will likely be on the agenda for the upcoming meeting, though the agenda hasn't been released yet either. The meeting will be held on Sunday, January 15 at 12:30 p.m. in the Multipurpose room in the SLC and like all council meetings, will be open to the general public. mdavenport@imprint,uwaterloo.ca

Ontario universities wait for new year's tuition news Margaret Clark SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Yes, Vliginia, there is a provincial government. And despite the immediate importance of federal, issues, the new year brings post-secondary students at least one reason to pay attention to politi<,;alnews in Ontario: Premier Dalton McGuIDty'srefusal to freeze tuition fees through 2007 and the likelihood of a tuition hike next fall, The issue first arose last semester, when during a speech at Carleton University McGuintymentionedlifting the ban on'tuition hikes instead of renewing it for another two years, until the end of his government's mandate. The announcement unleashed a backlash from students and educators across the province, many

of whom feel post-secondary education costs are already too high.

While Chris Bentley, provincial 1-finister of Training, Colleges, and Universities, believes a price freeze is "unsustainable in the long run" due to the $55 million per year running cost, Jesse Greener, Ontario Chairperson of the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) argues that at least some of the 6.2 billion provincial dollars earmarked over the next five years for the Reaching Higher university development program would be better spent keeping those tuition fees low - and that "using these funds for any 'Qther purpose will be seen by students as a betrayal."

Greener also has personal reasons to be irked with McGuinty's

announcement, as the CFS was engaged in a series of consultations with the government prior to October, with the last meeting prior to McGuinty's September address apparently focused on strategies for maintaining the tuition freeze and implementing future reductions. According to Greener there was no indication whatsoever of a possible reversal in policy, and a decision on the issue as a whole had not been expected until at least December.

The startling annoupcement thus led many in lobby circles to suspect that they had been misled on the consultation process from the beginning and to worry that input from ~tudents and student representatives was not being considered in govern-

ment decisions. In response, some . ous improvements to student aid.

Ontario universities, including uw, However, students and路 student implemented or aided in awareness representatives alike are troubled campaigns, postcard petitions, and by how future. accessibility to campus-\\>ide referenda to strengthen post-secondary education will be the student voice and these initiatives affected, and by what the consulcan perhaps take some credit for the tation process has revealed 'about province's high fiscal commitment to how valued the Ontario student the Reaching Higher program. voice really is..

Regardless of university input, students can still expect McGuinty to make a formal announcement later this month or in early February regarding the specific tuition fee framework for the coming year, according to reports. According --_ .. _---- ------ ------------ -- -- to Bentley, universities will need to demonstrate how the quality of post-secondary education. will improve with any proposed , Here, There, Everywhere will return in the tuition hikes and offer simultaneJanuary 13 issue '!f Imprint. ~-

4

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

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Take a Gap Year Abroad! Experience the world.

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options and specialized prosmms for over 35 years. · writ in a cafe in AusuaUa · voItmturto build a stRoot in Costa • teach English in Thailand • leImtospeakSpanlsh Shaving heads for cancer never goes out of style. Case in point: former EngSoc president Karim lallani does the honours for arts councillor Kate Daley. The Engineering Society raised an impressive $34,000 over a two-week period of fundraising, including shaving the heads of various Feds exec and council members. Hats off to you or should we say, hats on7

How to take the"''we'll see" attitude TmsIS YOUlt

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I was talking to a friend recently as we enjoyed a break partway through a three-hour night class. As is typical of two friends who have returned from co-op, we had some catching up to do. Among other things, I asked her what her plans were post-April when we both will arrive at the end of our 4B term. ''You know;' she said, "I really don't know; this year is the year of 'we'll see.'" True enough.

For· most of our lives, we have marched a fairly predictable path.

Each new year brought the prospect of another predictable 12 months.

School would be done in June, two months of summer camp, the cottage or summer job-then back to school for a new grade and four more months being a bigger kid. The usual holidays and birthdays-would ron around. We were a little bit taller, a little bit smarter and a whole year older.

University provides a stop-gap before reality sets in. Sure, UW throws a curve with co-op, but you are still on a fairlyregular schedule of work, playand

party (and telling Mom you're getting have the power to choose, but usually lots of sleep when she calls). After a someone else chooses for you. This while though, the end of the ride is in gets you into the sticky fate versus sight But then what? free will argument. Incidentally, tllls The problem with an arts degree . is the first topic of discussion for my is that there is no set job when you 16th century lit course. The course graduate. If you go to dental school, illustrates the point perfectly. I had you become a dentist If you go to the choice of 20 courses to fill my law school, you're likely to become British literature requirement (free a lawyer or work somewhere in the will). However, when it was time to legal trade. But an arts degree? As choose a Brit lit course, I had three choices, which, after I selected the the alumni rolls show, you could be anything. Even half of Waterloo's enrest of my courses, left me with one gineering grads aren't doing anything option (fat~). Choice is usually an illusion. related to their engineering degree five years after they graduate (though The' biggest lesson that I learned they're likely successful at whatever last year was that anything can happen they have deCided to do). in the space of a year. Disaster, either The feel-good attitudes and opnatural .or otherwise, can change timism of the '80's and '90's don't things in an instant. On a personal really help the decision-making. level, I managed to break a leg and either. Anyone in school within the spent a quarter of the year in a'cast past 20 years remembers the posters. and the rest of the year predicting The ones in my school came in two the weather via my own barometer. themes - _Snoopy/Garfield carWhen you're in a cast, you have a whole lot of time to think about toons about work ethics or stunning photography and taglines telling you how things might have turned out differently. ~ that you could do anything. "Shoot for the moon and if you miss, you'n In the space of twelve months, still hit the stars." Really all that anything can happen. A whole lot these posters seem to have done is of things can be l~st, found, and to encourage us to look beyond the lost again - friends, jobs, loves and ' dreams. school walls for something more exciting than either the classroom So what do I think will happen or the office job. this year? We'll see.

At some point in your life, choices are made. Occasionally you think you nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

6

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

FIR T, financi I n ineering, an e stern de arture and oogle

Scott Houston IMPRINT STAFF

Google gunning for Waterloo?

Apparently, the computer engineering giant Google has its sights set on Waterloo. They've posted a job for Mobile Wireless Application Developer in this fair city. According to the job posting on their web site Google is looking for "people with experience in the web and web services available on mobile platforms. Our goa! in the wireless group is to make the world's information universally accessible and useful -- at any time and in any place."

In case you're wondering, if you are qualified for the position here are Google's requirements: BS /MS /PhD. in CS or equivalent; extensive expenence programmmg

in C/C++ and Java; Development experience with handsets/carriers in the US/Europe/Asia markets is a plus; Expetience in J2ME / Symbian / BREW/Windows Mobile / PalmOS and other mobile environments/languages are a plus.

This posting raises the question of whether or not Google is opening a Waterloo office. However, a Google representative was not available for comment by press time.

UW plavs host to robotics competition

Local students will be taking over the campus for the FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology) robotics Waterloo region competition. The competition takes place March 23-25. The worldwide competition has 30,000 student participants.

"There will be between 25 to 30 teams participating in the Waterloo regional competition involving a total of 700 students," said electrical and computer engineering Prof. Robert Gorbet, the man that brought the regionals here. "UW is one of two Canadian venues to be given an opportunity to hold a

FIRST regional competition," he said, adding that the other Canadian site is located at the Hershey Centre in Missis~auga.

The finals, which will be hosted in Atlanta, "rill have international teams from Brazil, Ecuador and many other countries.

decision was based on his passion for higher Roman Catholic education in Canada, and his desire "to strengthen the Catholic intellectual tradition and enhance d1e national network of Catholic institutions of learning," according to a press release.

SJU president leaves for the east

UW prof wins top award

St. Jerome's University'S President and Vice-Chancellor, Michael W. Higgins is leaving St. Jerome's for St. Thomas University in New Brunswick.

Board Chair Deborah Pecoskie, on behalf of the Board of Governors, issued a statement saying that St. Jerome's will be "truly challenged by Dr. Higgins' departure, but acknowledges his long-standing commitment to Roman Catholic post-secondary education and to the wider community of Canadian Catholic colleges and ;'uuversities ... " and thanked him for his time at the university.

Higgins. was thankful to the board for their support during his tenure and in his departure. His

Finance Prof, Phelim Boyle has won the IAFE/SunGard Financial Engineer of the Year (FEOY) award. Boyle founded the Institute for Quantitative Finance and Insurance (I Q FI) and is renowned for his pioneering of the use of financial engineering techniques in actuarial science.

"Ihe University of Waterloo is singularly proud of Prof. Boyle and his pioneering work on derivatives and insurance," said U\X' president David Johnston. "He has been a starreseardl· erin IQFI and the school of accounting whose "",'Ork is kno"",TI throughout the world as this international recognition deservedly testifies." shouston@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE AND WHEN TO VOTE?

Keep the voter information card we sent you.

It has all the information you'll need to vote, and you'll get through the voting process more quickly if you have it with you.

To vote, you must be a Canadian citizen and be at least 18 years old Of} election day.

ON MONDAY, JANUARY 23, VOTE. V\f\IVvv.elections.ca 1 800 463-6868 toll-free in Canada and the United States 001800 514-6868 toll-free in Mexico

Ii TTY 1 800 361-8935 for peopl~ who are deaf or hard of hearing toll·free in Canada and the Umted states or (613) 991-2082 from anywhere

if you haven't received your voter information card, or if you received it but found an error In your name or address, please contact your local Elections Canada office now. You'll find the telephone number at www.electlons.ca by clicking on the Voter Information Service icon.

Homeless youth I shelter

in I flames

I lost

Fire damage to ROOF's local office displaces street

; youth Rebecca McNeil SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Shortly before the official celebrations for New Year's began, a time usually meant for celebrating, tragedy struck a Kitchene! downtown CO!umunity already in need of a little holiday cheer.

On Wednesday December 28, flames were noticed at Reachitlg Our Outdoor Friends (ROOF), a Kitchener refuge for street youth.

The flames were first reported at 7:30 a.m., but by late afternoon local firefighters were still struggling to put out thc flames on the two-sto·rey downtown building. One of the largest tragedies to the many youth who visited the centre during days or called it home at nights was tl~e burning down of approximately 100 lockers where local youth kept tht::ir few possessions.

At a time when most adolescents celebrate with new gifts and belongings, many said good-bye to the few personal items they could call thQir own. The fire is particularly devast~t­ ing as it comes at the end of a yeilt when ROOF found themselves about $30,000 short of theirusualmonetaty donations.

ROOF is a local charitable agency founded in 1989 whi(:h works with street youth in the K -W area. With the help of donatiol1s and volunteers they provide essential services to promote the safety and integrity of homeless youth and help them become healthy and productive citizens. ROOF has served over 2,400 youth in the past year. ROOF's contributioris include group sessions on life skiJJs, substance abuse prevention, ang.::r management and oth.er topics. Of those helped, about half were livirlg on the streets; the rest coming frm:n "at-risk homes" which may expO!;e them to substance or sexual abus e, neglect and poverty.

Volunteers from UW's WPIRG are planning a fundraiser to heJlp supply stability for displaced individuals. Many of ROOF's clients arc in contact with local students who volunteer weddy for Food Not Bombs, a WPIRG initiative that provides free healthy meals to the public in downtown Kitchener every Saturday.

1~hose loobngto make contribl.ldons can make cash donations ff)r ROOF by calling 888-·7477. Don'ltions of clothing or personal iterrlS can be directed to the Kitchen;;r Downto,\vn Business AssociatiGl1 at 53 Queen St. S.

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: PlUDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

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7

PINION

o~inion@imprint.U\vaterloo.ca Opinion Editor: Vacant Opinion Assistant: Vacant

Imprint is a forum for new ideas Friday, January 6, 2006 -

Vol. 28, No. 19

JUST

Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1

P: 519.888.4048

COFPBB

F: 519.884.7800

imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Tim Alamenciak eic@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@)mprint.uwaterloo.ca Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Vacant Cover Editor, Vacant Photo Editor, Vacant Graphics Editor, Vacant \I;'eb Editor, Vacant Systems Administrator, Vacant Srs. Admin. Assistant, Vacant Lead Proofreader, Vacant Proofreader, Vacant Proofreader, Vacant Proofreader, Vacant Proofreader, Vacant Office Staff Sales Assistant, Vacant Volunteer Coordinator, Vacant Distribution, Tiffany Dejak Distribution, Amy Pfaff Advertising Assistant, Vacant Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Dan Micak president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Sarah Allmendinger "'P@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Jeff Anstett treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Kelly Dilkes . secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Darren Hutz staff.liasion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Production Staff .

Dean W'helton, Margaret Clark, Alicia Mah, Kelly ,Sch~tzer, Rod McLachlan, Adam McGuire, Michael , D.wenport, Rebecca McNeil, Salim Eteer, Angelo . PWrendo, Kemet Bablibi, Scott Houston, Heramb. ~nachandran, Ashley Csanady, Whitney Wager, Lauren Fox, Jacqueline McKay, I1jya Kalai, Rob Blorn, Stephanie ~ Margie, Mansell, Sabrina Bowman, Amy Best, Jeff Anstett, Paul Marchwica, Ernie Lau, Penny Deeth, Simon Yarrow, Russel Cole, Dan Mica!<, Qaire Mousseau

) lsprint is the official student newspaper of the Univer~ of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper ~ed

by Imprittt Publications, Waterloo, a corporation

I have been thinking about going to Burning Man this year.

It's not the insane drug frenzy or the beautiful artwork on display. Instead I would like to see what it's like to live in a community that thrives solely on the exchange of art. JYfaybe it's slight flower child of me, but there is something so inherently good about a community where you are rated based on your value as a creative in&vldual.

The unfettered exchange of ideas - something that university was originally designed to be. Here at UW we are lucky to have a diverse spattering of thinking environments in our clubs and classrooms.

Imprint is similar to Burning Man. Here we help each other out. Section editors receive gifts of wonderful articles and writers receive

the opportunity to be published. We trade ideas and opportunity for art. Just like Burning Man - save for the buckets of drugs.

If there was any New Year's resolution I would like to make it is to show you that Imprint is an open community. We welcome anyone who can contribute their skills in any field.

I spent most of my holiday reading and came across GlobalFrequency. It is a comic book series that details an underground vigilante task force whose members are normal people with special skills. They have a parkour master, weapons expert, pickpoc~et and so on. The end result is a task force more skilled than anything . a government can produce.

The point is that everyone has something to offer - they just need the opportunity to offer it W'hen you get a group of highlytalentedindividuals together and focus their skills on one objective you get incredible results~ Be it sharing culture like Burning Man, or fighting global threats like Global Frequency, it is an amazing thing.

Everyone has a specialty: something they can do better than anyone else.

Imprint has opportunities for everyone. On the surface, newspapers seem like a bunch of writing. They definitely are - but as with

/Is such, agree not to submit the same work to any other ,publication or group until such time as the material has

~ distributed in an issue of ~mpril1t, or 1mpril1i declares t:I:icir intent not to publish the material. The full text of this

I

agreement is available upon request.

i

Int:print does not guarantee to publish articles, photoJdphs, letters or advertising. :Material may not be published, atithe discretion of Imprint,if that material is deemed to be li~klUs or in contravention with Imprints policies with referclice to our code of ethics and journalistic standa" , Imprint is published every Friday... ','!; fall and ,,-iNcr terms, and every second Friday dutingthe spring terr ~rvL>S the right to screen, edit and refuse adve' :<' copy per customer. Implin! ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint LL ....

Pub ]\fai} Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122.

Next board meeting: Friday, January 6 at 4:00 p.m.

imprinteic@gmail.com

Another year, another resolution

Ahhh ... January, how I missed thee! The month of the year when we collectively stumble through the dawn of the New Year, still suffering from the hangover-like after-effects of the three-way orgy of consumerism, feasting and the Rita McNeil Christmas Special. If the month-long binge that is known as December doesn't leave you with an absolutely blinding headache, well, you're just not trying hard enough.

And so 2005 has come to a close atlast. This means that we have all buckled down, glaring at our own images in a mirror and resolved to change. Sadly, this feeling typically only lasts for a week or two, especially if you overburden yourself with resolutions. The easiest way to make and stick to your resolutions is to make one and only one. Focusing all your energy into

a single resolution will quite often help carry it through most of a year.

My resolution this year is to try to be more assertive - which may seem a rather odd resolution considering that I am occasionally assertive in my column on whichever moron made the news recently. I'm focusing on my day-to-day life ... stand up, take the lead, stop being shy and meek and so forth.

I decided upon this resolution after reading a comment on a Globe and }vIail news story in regards to the same-sex marriage issue and the election. The poster was lamenting how Canada was legislating itself away from "God's law," and that all of us "sinning heathens" were hell-bound and so on and so forth. What really caught me, however, was the last line of this very pious person's comment: "We should all lay before Him and let the chips fall where they mav ... even unto death!"

This startled me, not just because of the utterly defeatist and hopelessness of the words, but also the utter sincerity that you could tell they were written with. It shows not only a willingness to just sit back and give up, but also a sickly morbid glee in the act itselÂŁ If this is the attitude that is required to gain

PlIT -SCRIPT

without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario (;ommuniry Newspaper Association (oCNA).Eclitorial : submissions may be considered for publication in any <;clition of Impril1i. Impril1i may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the ~-spaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, ÂĽucling articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant 1mpiii1I first publication rights of their submitted material, and

everything in this world, there is a firm backing behind making a newspaper. The little green people behind the curtain.

Beyond the obvious adventure of writing you can also endeavour to draw, take photos, maintain our servers, proofread, designlayouts or hone your business skills on the board of .directors.

Most newcomers see Imprint as a tight-knit community. It is indeed tightly knit but not in any way exclusive. While you may feel like an outsider coming in to the office, I assure you that you are not. Everyone is welcome here.

And just like Burning Man, we'll welcome you ."vith open arms - although there won't be any e~tarded kisses.

But since this is a world of exchange, Inprint offers something in return for your volunteerism: education. Our university does not have a journalism program, but our newspaper is designed as a learning environment. It helps you use big learning words.

The best way to get involved is to stop by the office. You can come for our meetings on Mondays at 12:30 p.m. or see me. I'm the guy with the ridiculous mullet at the back of the office.

50 -rHEN NO

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A 0!::At6R, ~1l1tn.)n ...

,YAH .US 8V~y.

that "Blessed are the meek" status, then count me out. I cannot believe that blind, willing passivity can ever get you anything, except stomped on by those who believe you are in their way. Are we really supposed to just sit back and let the powerful among us fight ach other to certain oblivion and self-destruction?

As Margaret Cho said, "What good does it do to inherit the Earth when the Earth is no longer worth inheriting?"

Of course, this is not to say that the old adage "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth" is entirely dismissible, in fact, I believe there is actually a fair bit of truth to it, it's just misunderstood.

The meek shall inherit the Earth because they stop being meek. Because they've been oppressed and trodden upon by the majority, theywillhave learned how to defend themselves - they will be forced to put aside their meekness and their passivity, and step up to those who would oppress them.

When it's a choice between "stand and fight" or "lay down and die;' I resolve to remain standing. gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

8

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2Q06

Bahlibi not a class act To the Editor,

.

I recently read Kemet Bahlibi's thoughts on u\VDrama's production of Our TOIvn and would like to comment on this horrendous "review," if I can even call it that.

Firstly, who writes a review for a play two weeks after it has ended?

Reviews are generally written during the play's run so that readers can geta sense of whether or not they should go out and watch it or not. It doesn't do anybody good if you review the play two weeks after it has finished.

Secondly, who starts a review by telling us about how they were late for the play? If you are going to be late for the play, you might as well stop writing your review because you're incompetent. And I like how you had to put in that you were late because of Toronto's "first real snowfall." Why give us such needless information?

Imprint, you need real reviewers here, not someone who would rather talk about the weather than the play.

Bahlibi also goes on to say that the horse featured in the play is named Betty.

Perhaps Bahlibi needed to pay more attention since the name Bessie was repeated over and over again throughout the play. Oh, wait. I forgot. Maybe your hearing was muffled because of all that Toronto snow that got into your ears, right?

Bahlibi mentions that she is thankful because the play did not feature "any people faking horrible English accents." Maybe she should realize that the reason why that is, is because the play is set in the United States of America. And it is so nice of you to generalize all actors who put on English accents as being horrible.

Imprint, what were you thinking when you decided to print her column?

''The third act, to me, was the most interesting ... Everything was very serious and I was half expecting everyone to jump out of their seats and start singing musical style. No . such luck." Why would you think this, Bahlibi? Why?! The play is not a musical and if you paid attention to the first hour and a half, you would have realized that. Oh, let me guess.

You were still feeling the effects of the Toronto weather, am I correct?

Lastly, Bahlibi goes on to say that ''We're all students and may not be able to afford all the finer things in . life, but the tickets aren't expensive.

And, by watching a play, even a school play, there's benefits. At least you could pretend you're now a little more cultured." What are you talking about?! Seriously.

Frankly, this is the most horrific review I have ever read. A first year frosh would have done a better job than you, and that says a lot. Unless you are a first year frosh, then that's a shame because it actually makes you appear as if you're a high school reviewer instead.

Imprint, get some actual people who can vlrite a decent review.

Tony Huynh 4A arts'

Alamenciak is a hack To the Editor, I have to say, I was disappointed in the editorial you wrote, entitled "Cheriton deal immoral." As the editor, you have the responsibility to get your facts straight, and to be objective.

Your editorial demonstrated a lamentable ignorance that will harm the perception of lJ\V for many students and will sour what should have been a happy announcement.

Please keep your ads classy Harper

First off, you were wrong to judge Cheriton for his past marital affairs.

Personally, I have no idea why the prior divotq: of one of lJW's major donors should have any impact on how UW receives .the gift. \};'hat he did was flotillegal, nor was it immoral.

It's Cheriton's business alone, not yours, and not U\';"s.

You were also wrong to assume that UW will ''bend over" and take any pledge that comes its way. Did you know that the school doesn't accept gifts from tobacco companies, for moral reasons? Or that there are procedures in place to ensure that The election is just a couple weeks each and every endowed scholarship away and Canadians are hoping for a meets strict ethical requirements for late Christmas present - a Conservafairness and equality? tive defeat leading to the resignation Cheriton's gift will fund new reof leader Stephen Harper. Whether search chairs, faculty fellowships and graduate scholarships in the School we'll get our wish is up in the air because of the desperate negative of Computer Science. You are wrong to think that most students won't ad campaign launched by the Alliance Conservatives against the Paul benefit from this outstanding gift to Martin Liberals. the school. Every student will. Why? We all know that negative ads For the following reasons: a) a better funded school will . increase cynicism among the electorate, but Harper doesn't give a damn. increase its research output, boosting Waterloo's already outstanding With the Liberals running television ads highlighting their impressive reputation economic record and Jack Layton's b) more professors, grad students ads simply begging for more NDP and research chairs in the School will seats in Parliament, the Conservatives provide more one-on-one teaching to take the low road and attack, attack, the students, both undergraduate and attack ... with little or no mention of graduate, who take CS courses Conservative party policy. c) with the establishment of these Is there any Conservative policy chairs, more money can now be - besides, I mean, the fact that directed to other areas on campus they aren't Liberals? Believe it or that need it (e.g. arts, AHS, ES, nonnot, there are some actual ideas in academic departments, etc.). their minds!

For these reasons Cheriton deThey want to slightly reduce the serves our thanks, not our derision.

I sincerely hope that he never reads '., GST, a tax imposed on Canaga by your editorial and if he does, that he - guess who - the Conservatives! does the most sensible thing and sues The GST reduction plan was ridiculed bv numerous economists who you for libel. You have earned it. pointed out that the Liberal income tax cut plan would do much more for John Heckbert the economy and for jobs. A GST UWAlumnus cut is a blatant handout to the rich, while the middle class struggles with income taxes.

Then there's the lofty Conservative goal of revoking marriage rights to a minority within our population that angry so-cons love to bash.

That policy is so repulsive and morally corrupt that it doesn't warrant discussion.

The Conservatives have pledged

Conservatives should focus on policy to end Canadian involvement in the Kyoto Protocol for environmental protection - a stance which would deal a slap in the face to many of Canada's allies. \};'hat good could that do?

The Conservatives want to offer parents a feeble $25 per week ~or child care when it typically costs at least that much for each day bf each week! .

The Conservatives have pledged to end the gun registry, a progrlUIl which continues to' win heaps and heaps of praise from our police force.

The Canadian Association of Chiefs of Police has been particularly voc;:al in favour of the gun registry, which is used thousands of times each and every day to help fight crime.

Opponents of the gun registry are insulting our police with their arguments and should find something else to complain about.

These Tory policies, of course, frighten common-sense Canadians who believe in human rights and a united Canada - not the "fendfor-yourself" Canada of Stephen Harper.

The negative ad campaign should end and the Conservatives should come clean with their policies - and put them in their TV advertisements.

I've even been kind enough to give them a helping handl The legacy of the Liberals spe;짜ts for itself - years of balanced budgets, huge debt reductions, the biggest tax cuts in Canadian history the protection of minorities and th~ environment and the first national daycare program in Canadian histotv.

This is what the Liberals put in the ads - not negative campaigns abdut why "the other guy is so bad that yim have to vote for us!" .

Let's clean up this UUIlPalgU--:I.\ hopefully, on January 23, nadian political scene clean the bitter, sour, eve:r-SCmN"l1rll! ~ttet)hen Harper from 24 Sussex

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9

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

Fighting writers block I like you cause you're opinionated and bossy." "I'm not bossy," he said.

"I know," I said, "That's why I don't likeyouverymuch(l)." Again I took refuge in solitude.

This is when I realized the blame for my inabilities lay solely on the student masses and their utter lack of anything that is either relevant or interesting.

Consider the three news articles It was the best of times. It was the featured on the front page of the last worst of times. But mainly it was the worst of times as I sat staring at " issue of Imprint. Bocce, tambourines and a whole lot of groovin';Fake a blank screen plainly realizing the blood; real message; Meisel outlines only thing worse than being a writer with nothing to write about is being moral corruption - as far as I can a writer who Writes about just that. tell, all we do here at the mighty UW No matter. I had discovered years ago is play bocce, pretend to be stabbed it wa,sn't my writing that was cliche and read boring news articles. This - it was my life and that kind of isn't news. it's nothing - really. But it makes sense in a fruity, psychological wasn't even the lack of relevant news kind of way. But my inherent writthat was the problem when I dared ers block was finally not my fault. I glance at the opinion section headed by had just blown into town and it was an article aptly titled Gay stereotypes leA: 1:0 me to write an opinion piece sometimes useful- I couldn't agree with the parameters as blurred as more, as in, "what a gay article." Yet, I my sexuality after a few cocktails. honestly don't know if the article was Ah hem. N6 matter, I had bunkered good or not because I couldn't bring intlo· the Imprint. abode where perils myself to read it because the only thing of wisdom get passed around like worse than boring news articles and drUnken nineteen-year-olds at a frat rants about nothing are opinion pieces party, and yet, still, I remained without that just cross that line - that bothanything to say. ers me. Where I can't even adequately "Christ Tim," I said, ''\X:'hat do articulate how much Idetest them and yoU want me to write about, what do am left to mash the keyboard in utter peoplewantto read?" ''1 don't know," he' said, "just write about whatever disgust gvtfy578y@ you want." "Yeah," said I, "but just \X'hat this school, this newspaper, give me a topic, something." ''1 don't what I need is good murder. Yeah, know," was his reply. ''Tim, I don't I said it, but we were all thinking it. like you because you're easy going, And sure it sucks - someone dies,

COMMUNITY EDITORIAL

a

they were more than likely a good person and just about to graduate and had these beautiful future plans and all that jazz. But when you consider it from my perspective, it makes dear and utter sense. There's a story with meat on the bones. Something of relevance to write about that the masses would certainly read. And while a person's life is usually more valuable than a singular news article, the argument is simply put that the only way students are going to maintain a divine readership with Imprintis for someone to be murdered, no less savagely beaten. And I maintain I'm joking so much as I'm being serious.

So yes, I'll stand by my claim and run the risk of sounding popular because if nothing else, at least I've piqued your interest, got you thinking I'm wrong and that is the exact prerogative of any shabby journalist that I've had the pleasure to shake hands with, fake a smile and pat on the ass.

Journalism, so much as it applies to a student newspaper, can foster as a zesty, invigorating enterprise when the attitudes and opinions of the majority are ignored and people who truly have something to say do just that. Now I'm no doctor, but it seems Imprint's current strive should be fiction so much as it serves functional, and that's a fact (2)1 - John McNeil

1. I may have just dreamt this 2. This may in fact not be a fact .

BAI fLIES YOL! know, now that the holidays are over, I feel like a whole new person.

You look like 0 whole new person.

in

Hey jerks! Yolire our spot. Get the hell out!

In fact, things are going to be different froln now on. This year, I resolve to cut beck on the drinking and stort doing some good in the cotnlt\urlity.

Good for you!

Geez, can you believe thosegtIYs ?

Yeah, yeah. Sheer jockossery. Bortendu! I need 14 boiler-makers and Q bottle of tequilal

Magazine Employment Opportunity Alternatives Journa~ Canada's leading environmental magazine, is looking for an Editorial Assistant under the UW Work Placement program.

• Full-time for Winter 2006 Term (for co-op or regular program students) • Located at UW - Environmental Studies 1, Room 140 • Must have collected or been eligible for OSAP during Fall Term For more details visit www.alternativesjournal.ca.

Apply now! Tell your friends! Part-time intern positions available too.

IMPRINT Publications, UW IMPRINT, the University of Waterloo student newspaper "is hiring an editor-in-chief for a fulltime 13-month contract position beginning March 1,2006. You will train, manage, motivate and lead a volunteer staff and ensure the print-to-press quality of all content.

Must have strong organizational skills, be familiar with Adobe CS2, photo editing packages, layout and design skills and experience with UnixlLinux networks.

Interested candidates should-mail or deliver resume, clippings and a-cover letter to: IMPRINT Publications Hiring Committee Imprint Public.ations 200 University Ave., W. University of Waterloo, Student Life Centre, room 1116 Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G 1 Deadline is Friday, January 13 at 4:30 p.m.

10

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

pie r laygro d: do tre t your body?

Do you worship your body and treat it with respea? Or do you treat it like a rental car and drive the shit out of it? pleasure out of it before it starts to sag and wither. Body.. haters are always pushing the limits of their bodies, drinking until they are sick, filling their bodies with chemicals and generally doing \vhatever they can to not be lame. The causes for someone being a bodyhater are excessive masturbation and having parents that blame him or her for their own misfortunes. They also swam in their under· wear too often (and probably still do).

I've come to the conclusion that there are three Now, it's not impossible for body-haters types of people in this world: those who can and body-lovers to be friends, but it is rare. count and those who can't. Or if that doesn't Usually body-haters scoff at body-lovers for work, there are two others: those who treat how often they waste time on useless things. their bodies like temples and those who treat Body-haters frequently criticize the torturous their bodies like playgrounds. Sure there is a schedules and regimens of the body-lovers. medium which is full of moderation Body-lov·ers, on the other hand, are generally tolerance, but I'm pretty sure that anything disgusted by body-haters and their lack of other than blindly follO\\?1ng these principles interest in their own future and can't underis a cop out. stand why anyone would try to purposely Those who treat their bodies like temples poison their own bodies. Body-lovers don't (here called body--loyers) are those who are understand how a body-hater can go days always in bed on time, going to the gym and without showering or brushing their teetl1 and watching what they eat. These crazies will pass body-haters are generally confused as to why up vicious amounts of fun to stay home. anyone would buy a toothbrush when they If and when they have momentary lapses could just use gum. and consume an alcoholic bevIf you fear you, or sorneone close to YOU, will usually be just one and they'll may t~e either ~ body-lover or a body-h~ter, for hours afterwards about how "that my"best aciYice is to c~mpletely abando~ tbem. will hurt me Usually if a friend is tomorrow duri in trouble, the ad\'ice would be to somehow Body~lovers don't help or saye but understand how a body- in this circumstance, the person is probably every op·· hater can go days without beyond help. Not orJy portunity to "better should VOl! abol1don themselves" by be·· showering or brushing them, b~t I would go Jame. The cause far as to say that vou for someone being their teeth and bodyBhat- so should do 'anything a hody-Iover is tbat their mothers kissed ers are generally confused and everything in your power to ruin their them too much and as to why anyone would lives, thereby making weren't allowed it rather impossible to watch cDol shows buy a toothbrush when for them to find a on TV. Also, they prohably took baths they could just use gum. mate and potentially procreate. To sabotage with bathing suits the life of a body-lover, on (and probably I recommend slipping still do). some sort of industrial Then there are strength laxative into those \\1ho treal" their their food. This approach \vill not work on bodies like playgrounds (here called body-hatthe body-hater because it more or less fits Bodv·haters are those who arc always into their lifestyle already. Instead, I suggest all-nighters for no reason, spendi~g polishing the shoes of the body~haters while amounts of mental energy in orthey're sleeping and painting argyle diamonds der 10 avoid physical labour and purposely on their shirts. overindulging in that cruel mistress called And if you're wondering, after all this, "processed cheese." where I stand, whether I am a body-lover or If and when they eat healthy, it's usually a a body-hater, I'll tell you this: it's a·love··hate mistake that is remedied by dousing the forrelationship. I'll eat Bomber's Cajun Cheesy merlv nutritious with cheesv salsa. You may overhear these people in th~ Bomber asking Fries and then cry myself to sleep no later than 10 p.m. for their burgers with "no veggies or salad or anything." These people will use their bodies as playgruunds, trying to get lhe m;Lximum -- Jeff Anstett

Missed To tbe emtOf; Dear Heramb, \Ve are deeply saddened at the ne'\\-s of your retirement. W'e will miss your categorizadon of women and trivialization of religion. \XTc will miss hearing about the exciting minutia of your daily life. Your well-informed opinions will be missed; now we ,""ill have to come up \vith our own generalizations. \X'e are shocked and appalled that no woman has yet to have sex with you because you clearly do use, "euphemistic diction and flowery verbiage." We have always been concerned about our own unigueness, but now because of vou and vour ardcles, we can rest assured that ~e fit cl<;se!y within your cookie cutter categories.

Love, "Da cock tease," the "slut" and the "boring girl"

Missing To the editor; MarkJohnson seems to have completely missed the point. Here at the University of Waterloo, where the diversity campaign is ongoing, we are supposed to engage each others' differences with respect. Micheal Coren spoke about the ignorance that journalists often show toward religion, not only his own Christianit!" butIslam and other religions as \vell. How does .Mark Johnson respond? By providing an excellent eX;lmple of the vicious and degrading com· ments :;\1r. Coren was about. It may be true that Drovocative '''r'''·''~<J·'~ (;ften usc, as both and .;\lr. Coren do, but there is stili a and between objecting and att:ad:ed ignorantly. \'(110 is being here? Who is being intolerem?

Randy Basco St. Jerome's Co-op Student Councilor

Retract To the editfJt; I am writing to ask that you retract your article entitled "Cheriton deal immoral".

You point out that since a six-year-old artide claims that ten years ago David Cheriton was a "cheapskate" and divorced his wife, the University of \'i;Taterloo shodd not accept his support, which was directed toward the School

of Computer Science. I presume I would not be alone in viewing the sole proof cited, the word of a friend of Cheriton's angry ex-\vife, with a jaundiced eye. Did you even bother looking into Dadd Cheriton's proceedings during ihe divorce? You seem to ptesent David's ex-wife as destitute, without citing any facts to back that up. The truth is t..1,.at David Cheriton's personal1ife is irrelevant.

The issue of university fundraising does need to be balanced by ethics. This means that the university must not accept donations that \vould be comidered a conflict of interest. :1"'01' instance the University of \,\'aterloo would not accept funding from tobacco companies due to the research that is beLrJg done on cancer prevention in the Faculty of A.B.S. As well the U\V could not accept donations from political organizations that specifically advocate issues that the university disagrees with, such as the Heritage Front. Nor could the university accept donations that were obtained from the donor by illegal means.

Do you think organizations should look L.'1to every aspect of a donor's life before we accept a donation from them? Perhaps PETA should disavow the donations of anyone who has ever not paid their library late fee~, or mooched off of a friend. Should dlC Red Cross turn back people who have eaten veal or said a joke that someone, somewhere found offensive? The personal lives of donors, unless they arc criminal, involve advocacy, or a conflict of interest is not the busincss of the Universit\- of \'!(:'aterloo or any otl1cr not-for-profit orga~ization.

I find it hard to understand hO\v you could suggest that students do not benefit from bis gift. His donation has to f(xm a number of

or rcsearch. I believe that students deserve to be the best. possible and I am be a graduate of such an innm ative Graduate scholarships stude-nts deal with tuition and are an area UW has typicaHy had a shortfall.

This a.ttidc ,vas offensive to alumni, doni lrs, UW staff, CS graduate students, profes5t:}rs, previous editors of the Imprint and anyone who loves the English language or journali.sm.

Because of your lack of research, and your insensitivity I ask that you retract this arti.de and consider using evidence and tl10ugbt in your next piece. Perhaps you should just stick to writing about yideo games.

Peter Hamm UWAlumni

EUCIRED Um.0-~

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11

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

CROSSWORD

do you do en your ale pi es you 0 ,

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shed a teal', work it out comfort each other with lo\#e."

"i complain about it to my other roommate."

Jan Serre

K81sey Walker & Lauren Mcisaac

28 kinesiology

48 ERS & kinesiology

"te~

her in there and go s~m~here else."

Klaudia Jaz 313 a,ts

Across 1. Pointed hand tools 5. Unmarried sister 9. Lyric poem 13. Viking explorer 14. Last great South American imperial people 16. Electric dance party 17. Ne~w Zealan tree with dark red wood 18. Tiny forest dweller 19. Notion 20. Ain't over till the fat lady sings 22. German city featured on the Porsche crest 24. Male sheep 26. Drinking box pack 27. Southern state home to birth of U.s. rights movement 30. Courier company lately absorbed bvDHL 33. Kernel home 35. Down-and路路out drinker 37. 19th letter of the Greek alphabet 38. Make a blanket 41. One more than one 42. European coins 45. Bird (or squirrel?) food 48. Basic unit of time 51. Franco-Spanish principality 52. Tom Sawyer author 54. \'V'hite crystal preservative 55. StorYteller 59. Loud animal cries 62. Sooner rather than later 63. Echo sounder 65. Dignified manner 66. Available food 67. Lady's name similar to Clap Ion song 68. Indicating a location 69. Sports play 70. Dirty look 71. Animal home

Down 1. Bubble-filled chocolate bar 2. Torrillasand~~ch 3. Writer's output 4. Ancient Egyptian divine beetles 5. Russian fighter 6. Overnight hotels 7. Canadian cross-county gold medalist 8. Hebrew prophet 9. Paper folding art 10. Baby talk for daddy 11. Intensifier for adjectives 12. Tickets required 15. A brief but vigorous fight 21. Female wet-nurse 23. Ancient thinking 25. Eurasian duck 27. Poker wager 28. Hawaiian feasts 29. Frothy drink

31. Knotted and looped together 32. Romantic subject 34. Home of many discoveries 36. Carbonated drink 39. National rail service 40. Greenland eagles 43. Tentacled sea-creature 44. Field sprinkled with seed 46. Invasion day 47. Wise Jewish king 49. Around birth 50. Big engine fuel 53. Nudist 55. Inclined surface 56. How to describe the Mediterranean 57. Tin containers 58. Make angry 60. i\fake it possible 61. Annoying little kid 64. Volvo or Pinto

"first I'd have to find a roommate. I live at home with my parents."

Anna Sinicki 38 psychology

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Donald Ho

3Dt crunputer science

48 computer science

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out of the house."

"Pull a prank on him."

Farhan Samani 3B,political science and business

3A computer science

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12

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, ~6

EATU

features@imprint.uwaterloo.~a Features Editor: Yacant Features Assistant: yacant

Why the hell are they famous?

These do-nothing celebrities are always in the public eye. One has to wonder - why is that?

\

;

Ashley Csanady IMPRINT STAFF

We all know them. We have all read about them- over and over and over again - but one question still remains: why are they famous?

The Kevin Federlines, the Paris Hiltons and the Katie Holmeses - their faces all decorate the grocery store checkout lines and sell millions of tabloids a week. Despite their fame, the fact still remains that they haven't really done anything. They are well-married, beautiful, wealthy or knocked up by a pseudo-straight scientologist.

Fascinating as they may be, do they really deserve the fame? I don't know about you, but I really don'tneedtoseehow fat Kristie Alley's ass is or isn't while I'm buying my groceries.

knock up Britney Spears, which is most likely the last thing the world needs-the procreation of the two biggest pieces of white trash ever to live. Seeing as how Britney has dumped him (maybe), he may finally end up back where he belongs - on Jerry Springer. His legacy will live on however, through his son Sean Preston Spears.

No matter how soon he is on Whm are thq now? one question will always linger in my mind: why Britney, why? You dumped Justin and ended up with him - while his ex was still pregnant.

When it comes to Kevin, Britney, you are competing with Jessica for stupidest blonde Diva ever to grace the cover of Star Maga:dtJe.

Nick Lachey

Paris Hilton

The only thing that comes to most people's minds when it comes to Nick is Jessica. Ndw Okay she is that they have finally broken up he should be young,richand out of our minds and off the tabloids in no has released a time. His solo CD and reality show both flopped Sex tape. Now this past year and the only thing that has kept thatwehave all .spent a night in him from fading into boyband oblivion is is relationship with the over-exposed (m m e the Paris Hilton, shouldn't ways then one) Jessica Simpson. Ever since s e uttered the immortal words "Is this chicken or her 15 minutes tuna?" we haven't been able to escape her - or of fame be her hopeless husband. over already?

The much anticipated and hyped breakup In the past the has finally occurred and although our minds beautiful peoand magazines will be filled with baby and ple like Paris reconciliation rumours for the next year, with seemed to fade any luck, Nick will soon go the way ~f the rest in and out of of 98 Degrees and fade gracefully into the '90s the limelight ! in, well, min- boyband memory bank. utes. However, Katie Holmes }"-- ..... for some reason she seems Katie, "I don't wanna wait" for you to have stuck up :with Tom Cruise. I know your car~er was "around. The :. basically over, and you would always ha~ betn Simple Life remembered as Joey from Dawson's ~reek, is over (albut wouldn't that have been better thad. the though it may mother of Tom Cruise's child and the re~<)n be picked up he destroyed Oprah's new couch? \ by some net\ work stupid See FAMOUS, page

toi;~

Kevin Federline

Honesdy, why is this guy famous? He somehow managed to both marry and

enough to take Fox's castoffs) and so is her friendship with Nicole Richie. As far as I can tell, Paris hasn't done anything noteworthy this past year except getting engaged and breaking up with Paris - Latsis that is. Even she isn't that narcissistic.

ASSEMBLED BY KEMET BAHUBI

'.4

Shake it up at Caesar Martini's Loca/lounge serves up interesting cuisine with friendly service and an enchanting atmosphere

K-W BITES Caesar Martini's

University Plaza

****% (out of 5) Co-op students, don't you love evaluation day when your boss gets an opportunity to tell you everything you've done wrong (using pleasant language such as "areas for improvement'') in great detail?

Though not a co-op position, I recently had my evaluation with Lawrence, my boss and also the VP internal of the Federation of Students.

We decided to do it over lunch, which I figured might soften the blow. I had been curious about Caesar Martini's ever since it opened, and resolved to do my own evaluation on this new Waterloo restaurant.

Caesar's is locatedin the easternmost University Plaza. It has taken over part of the space that used to be the overpriced, uninteresting "Italianstyle" nightclub/ restaurant/ drinkingholeJohnny Fiasco's. The space was dank, worn at the edges and had an underlying seediness that could not be scared away even by daylight. I fervendy hoped that there had been some decor change.

And what a change there was! The walls

are painted solid panels of muted beige and cranberry,with clean white accents. One wall is hung with sizeable, eye-catching paintings that increase the elegance factor. The space itself is open and airy with a striking black bar in the centre of the room and giant picture windows that allow the full benefit of the sunlight to illuminate the space. It's a complete metamorphosis from the old location and I had to hope that the food had none of the strong mediocrity of the expensive grub of the former inhabitant.

We were brought to a table by our understated host. All the restaurant's servers were outfitted in a black shirt and tie and, although our server was Classy and well-decorated, Caesars is a much-improved locale overly cha,tty, she was attennot surprisingly, many cocktail choices. good start to the meal. tive and lovely throughout the meal.

The menu, while not large, has a well-cho~ Lawrence ordered one of the three One of Caesar's many strengths is its wine sen variety of choices including soups, salads of the day ($7), which came with a choice and mains. We started with the Herbed Crepe salad or "Martini Chips." He chose the lobster list. There are very few places in K-W with such extensive menu. The restaurant also offers Roll ($7.00) appetizer. It was a thin tulle-like and green onion quiche with chips. Meanwhile, many of its bottles by the glass, an advantage creation, made up of parmesan, green onion my curiosity was piqued by the coconut banapa fora choosy table. For those who wanta wider and a tasty variety of herbs. It was crisp, chewy curry ($8.50), which I sided with the soup of sampling, Caesar's has wine flights- trios of and flavourful and was nicely complemented the day (for an extra $2). by the roasted red pepper dip that came with wines (by the glass) meant to show off variety of a certain type, region, etc. There are also, it. It was an excellent appetite-inducer and a See CAESAR on page 13

FRIDAY. JANUARY 6, 2006

• IZ

dis r Tim Alamenciak E.D!TOR-iN-CHiEF

J am very disorganized. It's not for a lack of orga·· ni;;:ational skills; ratbt'rit's theycry natttreof ane\vsoffice. In days, my desk can turn ti-om a bare sleep in£!: surface into a m~~untain of rather uncomfortable papers and CDs. It's astonishing, really and yet somehow I man to (barely) keep on top of it.

In my fev;,' months here at Imprint I've le'drned some tips that have helped cut

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mv list until it's done. In fact, I'm ficishing up an item right now. Write article for features - check.

At the end of my day, I take a half-hour to make my to do list for tomorrow. Then the process repeats.

This method keeps vau focused and is relatively easy to maintain.

The only problem is that a to-do list is like student debt - it just keeps gro'\\IDg. To-do lists are the optimal solution for the disorganized person to accomplish day-to--dav tasks, but d10se big projects tend to take up more space than my little legal pad can provide. There is one free computer program I have tOlmd to help out with this: KeyNote. It sits nicely in your system tray, has an intuitive interface, and most of all, it automaticallv saves.

I use the side of my computer

PDAs. All have failed for me. I'm simply too busy (or lazy) to canT any around and keep track of it effectively.

Even'though sometimes tell people my de~k is actually a complex filing system designed to look mess\', I don't know where anything is. But that's not important.

The important bit is always on top. It's a little yeUm,v legal pad with the date on top andanintimidating list of tasks. The beauty of a daily to-do list has truly revolutionized my life.

CLAIRE MOUSSEAU Each day I go through

through the clutter and still allow me to get thing'S done. There are count-less systems of ,)rganization out there - planners, cal-endars, notebooks and

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ro to keep all my big projects at the forefront. Sticky notes infest what I call a "to-do wall." The satisfaction I get from crumpling up a task and chucking it in the recycle bin is rivalled only by my delight in Norwegian metaL For impending dates, Mozilla's Sun bird application provides an easy way to remind yourself when to put things on your to-do list.

These three tools, if used properly and regularly, have dramatically in1proved my ability to get thing'S done. The most important lesson I learned, however, is that what works for other people didn't work for me.

So if you've tried eycrything but found nothing, d1is may be a \-iable option. Keep trying different systems until you find the one d1.at makes you a lethally productive person. imprinteic@gmail.com

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If you can't go to the gym, bring the gym to you with a few simple supplies for the home or office

So it'~ time to put those New Year's ft';solutions into action, or is it? right, this year I'm going to get into shape." Right, sure you are, January is amazing for working O;lt; even February is still alright. then March hits and the frecurve drops sharply until to the gym becomes a distant

Ies not that we all get lazy; it's thllt sometimes it's not hwnanly pnSSi!)Je to drag oneself to class, let

alone to the gym and expect performance. The life of a student is just an abnormal and irregular ~tretch of time that is not dictated by the hours of night and day, where going to sleep at 5:00 a.m. only to wake up at 9: 15 the next morning, run to hand in a paper at 9:30 a.m. and then rush back home to land softly in bcd, is almost commonplace.

I commend all of those peoplt, who actually have a consistent sched-ule of wOJiing out, because dearly most of us like to sleep and eat.

So hm,v can we stay on top of our game throughout the year? One approach might be to start by taking the gym out of the getting-in· shape equation and concentrating on more feasible things.

First off, engage in active living.

This includes walking at a fast pace wherever you go. There should be no

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from page '12

\'\c discussed and evaluated and h.retthed seyera1 sighs of relief v:'hUc we talked. In fact, I was quite enjoying it by the tim.e the mains "rri\-ed.

The presentation of the quiche waf', rather disappointing 'is the plate was t-no large i1ud the cluiche had not been removed from its aluminum The root \'egetablc chips \vere "''''_,,"1(><1 which was a nice touch. the), weren't quite cooked enollgh, resulting in some of d,e chips being limp and soft. did, however, han; a delightful fla,-our. The quiche appeared small at first, but ended up just the right size. Thc flu\'our had infused the egg base fmd \vas slightly overshadowed by green onion. Nonetheless, the quiche contained generous chunks of lobster and the pastry was just right; flaky and render. banana curry was actually a dense piece of outstamling, moist bl<HrlCl;l. bread topped with a curry

chicken salad. The salad, like the quiche, also suffered from an excess of onion and could have used a flavour bc}()st, either through more curry powder, ~alt or pepper. The chicken, though, was all 'Nhite meat, and dressed with just enough mayo.

The soup W'lS an ethereal puree of tomato blended with p:trmcsan and herbs. Its s\yeet t1ayour wa, augmented by a lingering afterbite. full, \\T selected the mixed crepe ($6) fC)r dessert. \'ZbiIe Dot sensationa.l, its plain mix of icecream--stuffed crepe topped with uns\\-eetened berry sauce "gets the job done," as Ll\VrenCe said.

So while the restaurant could neaten up food presentation for the quiches and use more restraint \',--ith onion, the combination of exquisite ambiance, elegant food and wine choices, and complementary flavours makes Caesar Martini's a fantastic and reasonably--priced find; perfect for a date or for when the parents come to town (especiaUv if they are paying). sbowman@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

loafing around or hanging out; you want to be cluing laps like you're on a race track. We are in the prime of our lives; we should be bursting'with energy. So why do people conlplain when they have to 'walk up the MC stairs? It's almost disturbing.

Basically, use every opportunity in your daily life to squeeze in a cardio ses· sion. Health Canada recommends that 'eVe accumulate 60 minutes of physical activity mo~t days of ilie week.

If you can't go to the gym, bring the gym to you. Transform your room into your own personal work-out space. This may require some equipment such as a stability ball, tubing (long clastic band \"ith

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handles), or a medicine ball, Considerthe alternative: facing the minus 30 degree temperature '.vith piercing winds to get to the gym.

Tubing is single-handedly the best work out equipment you'll ever need. It's cheap (ten bucks) and versatile. Most resistance training exercises such as rows for the back, overhead shoulder presses, squats, chest JUes or triceps kickbacks can all be easily acco;;plished. All you need to do is set the tubing under your feet or other stationary and ~olid object. This is a difficult workout and often considered better than using individual free weights.

And if you don't care much for equipment, you can still easily do pushups, squats, triceps dips, crunches and calf raises all in tbe comfort of your room.

It's important to somehow incor.. porate physical activity into your life, even if you're swamped with schoolwork. Ultimately, taking a break to 120 for a walk will help you concenr.r:re and improve your focus.

Getting into shape should be done in small doses throughout the year. Don't oyerkill it in-the first week; this may lead to a loss of motivation or even injury.

............................. _...

-Jas Banwait

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New term resolutions Ironically, this was intended to be included in the first paper of last term - but the author didn't finish it Stephanie Theis IMPRINT STAFF

TIlls term I vow to complete my assignments well ahead of time. No more applying finishing touches the day an assignment is due. TIlls term, I will study in advance for all exams. I solemnly promise not to cram the entire day before a major due date. And absolutely no all-nighters, this term will be different.

TIlls term I am starting with five, er, make that six new courses and a fresh start. This time around I might actually make it to the library before noon; except on the weekends, which I recendy found out, opens at eleven. I could be a brown-noser.I could even ask pretentious questions in class. TIlls term I vow not to commit the planning fallacy (i.e., underestimating the amount of time it takes to accomplish a task). Alright, I'll be more honest; I'll commit it less often.

Wno am I kidding? I pledged to end my procrastinating ways last term and what good did it do me? Sure, I improved slighdy. My all-nighters became 4 a.m. bedtimes. Come to think of it, I've pledged secredy to myself to be a better student ever since lA, which means six terms of pledges with no success. However, regardless of my dedication and the incentive to avoid stress in the eleventh hour, procrastination just seems to be natural. Perhaps what I need are baby steps. That way, by the time I complete grad school, my procrastinating tendencies will have dwindled away.

In efforts to plan for such an event, I have looked up the many wonderful workshops Counselling Services offers. Did you know

that there is a section tided "Cramming" in the study skills area? TIlls would have been useful last term when I was up the creek without a paddle. If you are in such a situation where cramming is inevitable; say, having four exams all at once, this section will certainly be helpful in reducing your panic and giving you a game plan for the remaining hours you have. But for this term, I might actually use the more beneficial sections including preparing for exams, learning and remembering and, most importandy, time management. So for anyone in the same boat or should I say canoe, accomplish your academic goals bycheckingout counseling services'website www.adm.uwaterloo.ca/infocs.

5 Simple Steps to academic success

1) First week of classes is not frosh week.

Start reading week one and week two's readings now.

2) Read the designated readings or chapters the week or weekend before the class.

3) Create a realistic routine for yourself of when to study and which subjects to study. If you do not complete the assigned task within that time, move on to the next subject. (fhis way you don't hold yourself back and concentrate solely on one subject).

4) Review your notes within 24 hours of taking them; great for memory and means less memorization when studying later.

5) Start studying a week before any exam/ midterm. Break down each day into appropriate sections, chapters or topics. stheis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

.A

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

Famous: whoops there! goes your 15 minutes For some celebrities, doing nothing pays off Continued from page 12

notable thing she had done for almost ter years but it has now earned her a TV sho)" and several endorsement contracts. Yop Why, oh why, didn't you fade away like the have to give the girl her due, she does 100 k other cast members, occasionally popping up in an indie flick? Here are a few clues that a great and has a lost a lot of weight - a,s the Jenny Craig ads and In Touch both shot. relationship may not be a good idea.

1) He is a celebrity you admitted to liking She is the one person on this list who hllfs actually accomplished something this yea~. as a teeny bopper. No matter how much this She has a hit TV show, a book and a huge may seem like a dream come true, it's really endorsement deal - all because of h~r kind of creepy.

2) He chooses your friends and has some gracing (and I use the term lighdy) tabloi~s around the world.,l creepy woman follow _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ I am aware of tIf= you around to make sure you follow his Kristie Alley started irony that by writing this article I have ih religion - a religion factextendedtheir1:5 that is a litde sketchy making her tabloid comeminutes of fame by to say the least b ac k a th e same ra e as at least another ten 3) It is quite posseconds.

Howev(!r sible that he is in fact her ass was expanding much I, or any of gay you, deny it, we dCi>, 4) He seems a litde insane - embarrass- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - in fact, love these guys. Their faces fill ing himself on national TV by jumping on couches and dismissing our minds with mindless gossip that distraqt us from our own dismal everyday existence psychiatry on The Today Show. *** Please note, to any Scientologists that and we drink it up like it's Bomber night and the pitchers are free. So for now, we have want to complain about the contents of this to resign ourselves to the continuing drama article: we have a huge couch here in the of TomKat, Nick and Jessica, and Britney Imprint office. and Kevin. Well, at least until the next stot}' Kristie Alley breaks - Brittany and Jessica both have litde sisters don't they?

Kristie Alley started making her tabloid comeback at the same rate as her ass was acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca expanding. Her weight gain was the only

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fiR GROCE.RY Kl1CflE.NER

Hil'ing Oommittee M.embel'~ Nee~e~ Two members are needed to assist with the hiring of Imprint's 2006-2007 editor-in-chief.

You cannot be a present Board of Directors member or a past applicant of the E-I-C position.

Please e-mail Imprint's President at: drmicak@uwaterloo.ca or drop in to Imprint's office, SlC, room 1116.

Deadline is Friday, January 6, 2006 3:30 p.m.

15

RUDAY. JANUARY 6, 2006

jUts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Arts Editor: Vacant Arts Assistant: Vacant

Math, geeks and rock n' roll ~oFlorendo ~STAFF ~derment hardly begins to describe my 'thoughts. Here I am, sitting next to one of 'Canada's most acclaimed artists making easily the most exciting electronic music today and I think - no, I'm certain - that I'm cooler than he is. The sole member of Caribou, Dan Snaith :is clearly out of place eating at Waterloo's hipster hotspot, theJane Bond. Staringinto his magnified pupils which seem 100 times their size thanks to his telescope-strength lenses and wondering how he tracked down Napoleon Dynamite's hair stylist, I can't help but wonder if maybe I've ~ a mistake with the publicist. ., did all the [Waterloo] math contests and ~when I was a kid," Snaith says after explainfog his new title: Dr. Snaith. He's a doctor of pumbers you see - a math PhD. This really ~sn't doing much to reassure me that he~s an \Ktual musician and if he is. then it definitely isn't helping his public persona. ~ Then again, he hasn't had much luck with trying to establish an image. Forced to change his stage name from Manitoba to Caribou in October 2004 for legal reasons,' Snaith tries to avoid similar tmshaps with his music: "There have been times when I've used a sample in a track and thought I should rerecord those parts because it's probably going to cause problems down the road."

He's lucky that a name change is all the legal trouble he's been through, because a little investigation shows that this math genius has a seedy past, beginning with stealing his first sampler. "It \VaS going to sit in our high school forever, that's my only defence:' pleads Snaith. He'll probably need a betrer excuse for his other offences. ''I spent a summer running weed across the border strapped underneath my car," Snaith says of his lime living in Hamilton.

Not even his friends are safe, as touring guitarist Ryan Smith was literally stolen frdm fellow Canadian musician Mathew Adam Hart of The Russian Futurists but don't expect any sympathy.

"If you've ever seen the Futurists play:' Snaith says, 路<the parts that they're playing are so fucking easy." Adding further insult to injury, Smith says Hart "just looks like a bit of a murder perv." The ~ doesn't end there as Smith finds another target in Wolf Parade, describing their lab:st album as being "fairly unremarkable."

Caribou's got more beef than a Wendy's triple. "It is BEEF. That's what I'm out for. I know if I get some beef going, I'm going to get Ii couple extra column inches," says Snaith with a snicker. Reverting back to his Canadian hospitality, Snaith assures me that they only pick on Hart "because we fucking love him."

And no, he didn't like Wolf Parade's album, but

that's not a direct insult, saying, "I hate most music. I'm picky."

We should be thankful that Snaith sees room for improvement with today's music, as his own contributions are some of the most inspired songs today or yesterday. Done entirely on his computer using personally recorded samples as well as those taken from his collection of old records, the music found on his third album The Milk 0/ Human Kindness balances between the odd meanderings of psychedelic rock and the digital synths of' electronica - a tightrope that only Snaith could have imagined.

It's one thing to be this inventive within the confines of your bedroom, but translating that to a crowded stage with alive audience is another, Yet as any mathie with tell you, if a thesis on modular forms (which Snaith completed while attending the University of London) doesn't scare you, nothing will. In an attempt to cover the staggering assortment of sounds contained within hiS' most complex songs, Snaith packs Starlight's qlodest stage with two drum sets, multiple keyboards and guitars, plastic recorders, a melodica and even a DVD player.

On display behind the band are animated films that not only synchronize with the music, but also provide assistance with some of the more interesting vocals, such as the indescribable grunts found on ''A Final Warning." If nothing else, these vignettes are original and work well with the music, adding a visual element absent from other rock shows.

But this is still very much a rock show and Caribou never let a few squiggly lines outdo their musicianship. Smith mans the guitars and offers some help with keyboards while tourmate Peter Mitten works the drums, but Snaith undoubtedly runs the show, constantly switching between all instruments - he even presses play on the DVD player.

Snaith sticks to keyboards on the synth heavy sections of ''Bees,'' and rolls up his pant leg to join Mitten for a torrent of twin drums on "Hands First," a short track on record that is extended into a three-minute explosion of sirens and alarms. The'portions of the show where Snaith and Mittens barrage the audience with their coordinated attack are easily the most impressive and the most visceral.

Snaith revels ill this sort of aggression.

"When I go to shows I want to see people sweating and bleeding and really givin' it," he says of his live performances. Early on he only used a small laptop, which was fine for his earlier work, but "then I made [sophomore album] Up In Flames and it seemed totally ridiculous to just get up there with a laptop."

It's surprising to hear computer rebellion from someone so obsessed with math, but as Snaith attests, "It's not so much about the technology for me. It's more about making the actual sounds."

This seems more like the genius artist I was expecting and by night's end, I'm confident that I've not only interviewed Dan 'Snaith the musician, but also Dan Snaith the generally cool guy. ''There's a collection of plastic animals on our dashboard that we stare at," Snaith says towards the end our conversation. ''We sometimes rearrange them and it's like a big accomplishment." I said he was a generalfy cool guy. aflorendo@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Dan Snaith and Ryan Smith of Caribou bring their unique brand of electronic psych-rock to the Starlight in Waterloo.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

Colossus is big on adventure A deeper understanding of communion A Holy Meal: The lord's Supper in the life of the Church Gordon T. Smith Baker AGademic

This academic treaty on the concept of communion is both exciting and enthralling. If you are a person of faith, this book will grab you and help draw you into a deeper understanding of your own approach to this table and those who come to it beside you. It begins with a tour through the Old Testament. "The first hwnan parents were invited to eat, "'7ith the proviso tbat their eating was to be an expression of thankfulness, obedience, and dependence on God. Ala~, it was in their eating that they chose to disobey." From this from the beginning, to the Abraham, through the lhe Smith shuws of eating and the of the fellowship meal through the whole history of God and God's pe(Jples.

Smith then proceeds to exam-ine the different interpretations of signs, sacraments and symbols.

Through these, a reader "\1,'ill grow in understanding of others who draw nearer to God through this event. He goes on to examine the huly meal in

light of seven words: remembrance, communion, forgiycness, coyenant, nourishment, anticipation and Eucharist. "The biblical perspective, however, allows the past to shape, inform and transform our present and give significance to our lives, our relationshios and our \vorlc" From that persp~ctive, he then takes us on a tONr de force through the seven terms and their meaning, through scrip-tures, community and the breaking of bread and how the three become one in sustaining our faith, our hope and our life.

Smith draws this conclusion: "The Lord's Supper is the meal of the church and together with the Word and prayer, the event that enables the community of faith to be a dynamic living b~dy, drawing energy and grace from the fountainhead of life, Jesus Christ." Yet, throughout all of his examinations, he maintains a respect and reverence for l-raditions other d1an his own and through this book we may come to appreciate other approaches to this holy meal. Smith makes it dear that we -each have a different lingo and understanding of this event. "There is, though, a certain irony when it comes to the nomenclature used for this meal. Roman Catholics speak

of the Eucharist, Anglicans oftcn call it Boll' Communion, and most Protestants call it the Lord's Supper: Yet it is interesting that most evan gelical Protestants are some"\vhat uncomfortable with the idea that this is actually a meal. The idea that we 'feed on Christ in our hearts' is overlooked in most evangelical contexts." Each tradition brings something from which the others can learn and with Smith as our guide, that will happen.

-Steven R. McEvoy

Hoseback battle with a colossus in this epic game.

Shadow of the Colossus Sony Computer Entertainment of America Playstation 2

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aterloo Your e roup Autoand me Insurance ogram for Faculty & Sfa

From the makers of the PS2 sleeper hit lCO comes an adventure game of similar artistic vision, ShadOlP of the COloS.flIS. The game follows an unnamed warrior's quest to revive a recently deceased love.

However trite and contrived this concept appears at first glance, the story is deceptivelv involved. From the outset, the narrative is intentionally vague - though the female character seems to be of some importance, the circu111st-ances surrounding her death are never revealed. Ali that you're told is that she is dead and the C:nly way to revive her is to slay a group of colossi to appease an unkno\VTI deity.

Just as quickly as you're introduced to the basic premise, you're thrust into shoes of the youngadventutc'r. The COf!troIs are incredibly simplistic, allowing for basic movement, a bare bones sword attack ,md the abilit\- to call for;:our borse. \1\lhilc you ca~ stkitch weal~tnS, you're only given a sword and a bow and arrow - in fact, the set of tools and abilities t.l,atyou'regiven at the beginning of the game is w1Changing.

This minimalism f()fced the dc~el颅 opers to pro"\;--icic a variable experience through the differing scenarios, which is easily ._'lbadmz路 of tbe C'oloSJ'!ti strength.

The uniljue concept behind dIe game is that each "level" is comprised

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The Ultimate Jesse Cook

Jesse Cook NaradaNirgin Mus,c

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to'tr;

---Angelo Florendo

Compliments to the Cook

up to 50% on

entirely of a singular boss encounter --- there are no lesser minions to dilute the process. Though finding the colossi is SOmetllTles an involved process, they simply serve as breaks between the exhilarating fights "'1tb the towering beasts.

The term "towering" is no exaggera-rion as these are easily the largest, mos t intimidating creatures to e';er grace a videogame. The only way to defeat them is to find straregicallyplaced weal,; point,; on the colossi's bodies. HOWYOll ;ctually get there is tbe fun part. These enCOll.'1ters play out like glorified puzzles as you filld a \1;ay t{:) each elusive weak poil1t\\'hiie clutching on to the colossi's fur. Just as you would expect from any threatened mythiGll creature, the colossi don't simply allmy you to rnoye about easily - they thrash and flail in an attempt to swat you like the veritable flv that vou are, 'TI1ese enc~unter~ ate made all tl1C more impressive by the games gorgeous artdirechon. :Muted tones and blindilw light blooms populate the game's workt painting the game in an dream-like atmosphere.

Though the anS\':crs proyided at the game's closing aren't revelatory, they are ambiguous up to interpretation instead of feelin"s incomplete. Despite the importance (,f conclusion, this is a game whose endiJ1;!; seems less important than the j< lUmey -~ and what a journey it is.

It's hard to believe that Jesse Cook has already been armmd for 10 years.

To mark the anniversarv, Narada has released TJye UltiJ?!ate )esse Cook, a CD featuring music from aU six of Cook's albums.

Cook's st\路lels unique-with a colourful blend of inst:rum'ents, voices and str1es that mL" to create any oO(~ of his tracks. TIle two-disk set includes a total of 26 tracks, or about half of Cook's release repertoire to date.

As with any "greatest hits" album, the llSU;-J favourites are here, indudand "~Iai'io Takes a

111ere are two problems that! have with this CD. First, as is symptomatic with greatest hits albums, the songs are usually out of context. Jesse Cook is very good at weaving the songs together to create one disco-long musical experience.

To simply take his songs and mix them up serves to confuse the. listener. For me, any time .I heard a song from Nomad e~d, I was briefly confused when the next song th,;t played was not another one from the same album.

The second issue I have is purely technical. As with Nomad, this disc is heavily copy--protected. The only "\va)" to play it on a computer is to use t.he supplied proprietary player and to agree to a user's agreement.

Happily, the disc does play in ordinary CD players. In addition, You are -limited t~ the number of ti~ts that you can make a back-up coPr. But the frustration is brief once tbe music begins to play.

This album covers an of the milior Jesse Cook hits and weIJ-knuwn pieces. If you only own a few of his albums, you should buy this album to sa"'l1ple the full repertoire. ever, you have all of the other then stick with what you've got.

---Neal Moogk-Sou!is

17

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

h n ss ixt P I I ti r c e iti n e

Suzanne Gardner Simon Yarrow IMPRINT STAFF

l'here are things known and unknown and in between is a whole lot of musical pretension. 'X"e've at! \vitnessed it: people who write about music include in their articles an ubiquitous yet subtle message, namely, "I know vou're not familiar s;me of thes~ bands / songs, but should be - I'm clearly better <an you." This week's'mixtape seeks H ) do awav \Vitl1 all that holier-thand lOU arts geek silliness -~ no, wait, it tc doesn't. Seek out these songs, k now them, love them before your i,;; ino11lDce embarrasses you at a gallery () or something.

Fuller Four - "I Fought this isn't a Clash song? Nope, d lis track was originally performed by '(.os ruck group Bobby Fuller Four ltd by none other than singer/guit2,rist Bobby Fuller. While their first Tbp 40 hit was actually a cover of Buddy Holly's "Love Made a Fool You;' Bobby Fuller and friends rrlade their most triemorable splash b smging about tl fight against h,\\: Apparently

51.lCeeSS,

lyrics rather nonsensically as \vell. In this track of an acquired-taste nature, Bjork sings about how she likes to throw car p,u·ts, bottles and cutlery off a mountain. \\J'hile her reasoning behind such actions may be uncertain, the ama:r:ingly danceablc quality of tlus song is most certainly not.

Joanna Newsonl - "Sadie" A newcomer on the indie sccne, Joanna Newsom is noteworthy for her insanely weird voice, awesomely clever lyrics and the fact that she plays the harp. It's seriously almost too much. Clocking in at a solid 6 minutes, this track is truly Newsom's magnum opus.

The Mountain Goats - "Dance Music" Underground music buffs will know the wonderfully prolific The Mountain Goats and their unique ability to create seemingly autobiographical tales which are, in reality, completely fictional. In the last few years they have finally been picked up by amajor label (4AD) yet amazingly, this has not had much effect on the group's overall sound. This track from their 2005 relcase, The Sumet Tree, sounds

ho\\~cver;

after "I La\':" bl~c~me it top ten FulJenvas found in a parked car his L.:\. home.

KJ:~ftwerk

- "Pocket Calculator" tJh, those crazy electronic Germans!

(which is German for plant") and their avantapproach to electronica have insanch' influential to both 1Senre of electronic music and t; j modern pop music as well. Some millht sav they're as influenfial as ... "lieatfes?!?! Regardless, this song f(:atnres ridiculously quirky lyrics and instrumentals that truly command to listen to it as many times as line, "1 am the operator with my calculator" is repeated.

- "Isla de Encanta" I'fOfrl their 1987 debut EP Come on indie rockers the Pixies belt OIJt Spanish lyrics (v,,-ith a pinch of English thrown in for good mea~t!f(:) to this high.energy track. Led singer / guitarist Black Francis Frank Black, a.k.a. Charles Thompson (rockers sure do love dicit naJ:ne changes), this song is tt\c best demonstration of the Pixies orten random and obscure-soundtunes.

Bjork - "Hyper-Ballad" addition to dressing nonsensically (s eehers\vanoutfitfwmthc2001 OslfS for a prime example), Icelandic np;er/ son~'writer Bjork \vrites her [: !

and crazy band. Their stage presence and their fans were punk before puni( existed - prim~rily in their tendency to be brash and wantonly destructive. While the band may b~ most remembered for "ICick Out the Jams, Motherfucker," perhaps their finest musical moment was the weird and wonderful "Starship" -- and of course it must be a live recording to truly capture the greatness of the band.

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Pink Floyd - "The Gold it's in the ... " Of all Pink Floyd songs, this one goes on this mixtape because it's as un-Floyd as you're likely to find. It's almost- as if -Floyd su~med up the stereotypical sound of late '60s rock into one song, then gave it a weird title. This song is obscure, strange and fun!

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Brian Eno - "Baby'S On Fire" This song has everything you could ask for ~- bizarre and disturbing lyrics delivered in a pretentious style, rock and roll roots ~-isted into some sort of bizarre glam sound, some damn fine guitar work, everything!

You mav remember Eno from the band Roxy Music.

I'm sure you're oh-so-proud of yourself if you do. The scary thing is that I have a record full of dance remixes of this song in my basement.

Warsaw-"Lead-

like lead singer John Darnielle is still recording his songs by sitting crosslegged in front of a boombox ,'lith his acoustic guitar, pressing "record" and then releasing them on lo-fi cassette tapes. Awesome!

Denise James - "Hold on This Time" \1(:ben vou hear the nanle Denise James, 'think '60s girl group ... but recorded in 2004. She also manages to effectively integrate the influences of several French artists including Frans:oise Hardy, because although James is a native of Detroit her fam~ ily is actually French. For successfully replicating the sound of 40 years prior, this woman \1;-ins much respect.

Side B: Robert Johnson - "Crossroads" Elusive, legendary and one of the founding fathers of the blues as we know it, Robert Johnson is rumoured to have sold his soul to the devil (at a crossroads, no less) for his incredible guitar-playing skills. Not surprisingly, in another song he sings about a hellhound on his trail. Not oniv Eric Clapton, but every blues guitar 11layer who doesn't suck o'wes a great debt of gratitude to Johnson.

MC5 - "Starship" (live) The "I\Iotor City Fiye" \,'ere a loud

ers of Men" Before New Order there was Joy Division and before Joy Division there was (ever-so briefly) \'X'arsa'l.v; But of course, you knew that already. From the guys who brought you some of the best dance music of the '80s plus the late, great Ian Curtis who helped them bring vou some of the best svnth-punk ~r post-punk or pte-alt~rnati~e or \.vhatever-theheU-you-\vant,-to-callit comes this beauty of raw, simple punk goodness.

Coldcl.lt featuring JelIo Biafra - "Every Home a Prison" W'hat do you get when you take nvo influential Bri.tish DIs who dabble in pretty much every g~nre (if you don't believe me check out their excellent jazz / hip hop / house I drum'n'bass mix CD 70 MiTmtes ollvladnej'l) and the outspoken former frontma..'1 of the Dead Kenncdys? You get a truly singular song that's seven minutes of (sarcastic) ranting about how strict curfews should be enforced, all set to a funky beat. Neat!

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18

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

Spielberg's tale of vengeance captivates Famed director's latest fUm featuring Eric Bana is dark, powerful and easily one of year's best Munich

Steven Spielberg DreamworkslUniversal

In 1993 Steven Spielberg pulled off a feat that few filmmakers have the ability or ambition, to do: he made two massive mn;s, both hugely successful, yet so diametrically opposite that it's a wonder that they came from the same director. Those movies were Jurassic Park and Schindler's List.

Now, roughly ten years later, Spielberg has done it again. This summer saw the sci-fi thriller War of the Worlds and going into wide release today is Munich (playing at Conestoga Mall's Galaxy Cinemas). Spielberg has often said that he thinks that Coppola's The Gotifather is so great in its dark beauty that he doesn't feel he could ever make a film so powerful.

W'ith .Munich, I believe he's come as close as anybody can. This film is not only an excellent movie, but an important one.

But it's not a lesson - there is no preaching of morals or values. And that, perhaps, is the key.1v1unich is a movie about the world as it was, 30 vears ago, and the world as it is today: full of pain, drenched in blood.

The film begins during the 1972 Olympics (held in Munich) where 11 Israeli athletes were kidnapped and murdered by Palestinian terrorists. In response, the Israeli government assembled a team of individuals whose mission it was to assassinate those believed responsible for the Munich tragedy. None of this is fiction; while the events of the film are not entirely accurate, the facts ,of the situation, and arguably the ultimate result, are exactly as this film

portrays them to be. . Eric Bana (Troy, Hulk, Black Hawk Down) plays the Israeli officer, Avner, the man charged with leading the group set to commit the assassinations. I would not at all be surprised to see him get an Oscar nomination for his work in this film, so textured is his performance.

Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award-winning scribe Tony Kushner (Angels in Amenca) delivers a fantastic script that sizzles with truthfulness and drama and pain.

At the beginning of the ftlm Avner, whose wife is expecting, is confident; he believes that what he is doing is right. By the end of the ftlm, I do not think he believes in anything.

As Spielberg has said in the few interviews he has done to promote the ftlm, this movie isn't about right and wrong, it's about what happens when the results you want are not the results you end up with. This, we learn, is the curse of vengeance. Does blood call out for more blood? I don't know. And neither does Mlmich. All it does is present the story in as captivating a way as possible.

As the story Unfolds we see Avner question, first, whether the men they are killing were actually responsible for Munich, and second, what exactly his mission is supposed to accomplish. As the blood pools around his feet, Avner wonders how much more there can be. The film's final shot is our answer: the twin towers of New York. For some, it seems, the cycle will never end.

At close to three hours, this is a long film. And, given the graphic nature of .the murders, an unpleasant one to watch, but if

you are at all interested in serious, truthful or important stories, then this is a film you cannot afford to miss.

Watching this movie you will see many things. At first all I could see was a muddy red. Taking a step back (then another, and another still) I concluded that what I was looking at must be a drop of blood. Or was it? Un-tilting my head and relaxing my eyes revealed the truth. It wasn't a drop of blood; it was a tear. Drowned in dirt. Glistening with

sorrow. Behind me there was a gre<tt roaring - the waves of an ocean breaking against a shore. I'm still too scared to turn around and look for I do not know what the waves are made of, blood or tears. This film projects ti,le answer on a movie screen: it's both. You Clln smell it in the air. Even today.

I do not like to think about that ve ry 'much.

-Filip Vukce\lic

Eric Bana gives a souHul performance in the most riveting film of the year.

/<:ohgis akl[lg-sized hit King Kong

Peter Jackson Universal

Meshed with occasional video shooting techniques reminiscent of a helicopter ride, the latest version of King Kong does the original film justice while making excellent use of state-of-the art computer graphics. So, a word of caution: bring a barf bag if needed. Aside from that nauseated feeling, it's certainly a nice bang for your ten bucks.

Paired with the acting talents of Adrian Brody and Jack Black, this blockbuster remade is a wonderful tale for adults looking for some magic and adventure. Jack Black breaks his tradition of 'playing the movie industry's jokester and instead convincingly plays a serious filmmaker whose sole purpose is to become rich. Adrian Brody is wonderful eye candy (as always) as the romantic and heroic playwright who falls in love with Ann and rescues her.

Naomi Watrs brilliantly takes over Fay Wray's legendary performance as the beautiful actress

Ann who enchants King Kong. Most impc)rtantly, Naomi Watts' bloodcurdling scream is right on the mark for the famous screaming . scene in which Ann is sacrificed to King Kong by island natives.

However, it,is important to note that One particular scene wears away at your suspensi\::>n of disbelief. The scene where the explorers qre runningwith dinosaurs seems corny and jolts you back to reality. But what do you expect with a film based on an oversized gorilla? One adve,nture scene is piled right on top of another. But you'll hardly notice as you sit, captivated by the miraculous and seemingly impossible escapes tlfi Skull Island for each of the characters. Undouhtedly the best computer graphic fight scene ever created is when King Kong beats the crap Out of several T-Rexes who see Ann as food and o.ot comic entertainment as does Kong.

So for those of you who have a spare three hours or just want a kick-ass adventure, check out King Kong.

-Stephanie Theis

COURTESY OF UNIVERS ;AL

Ann stares down her loving but deadly captor.

Leadership Centre

WPIRG is home of the Centre for Leadership Development - a place where you can access workshops & resouces on ail aspects of leadership, group work and event coordination. Please join us for one (or all) of our noon hour workshops, held weekly on Thursdays from 12-1pm, January 12th - February 16th.

Visit wpirg.org for details.

Action WPiRG a wide array of action groups for you take part These include: food Not Bombs serves food to hungry people every Saturday afternoon. Amnesty International is an internahuman rights group. Students Against Sweatshops is part of an international movement to a stand against sweatshop conditions. Internet Collective designs & hosts innovative web based projects. Peace Society advocates for and on building peace. Waterloo Region Concerned Cyclists advocates for cyclist rights.

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a student-driven social! environmental justice & human rights group right here 011 campus. From events & workshops, to action & education projects, to our youth leadership & network program, there's lots to get involved in! Come and find out how at .

WPIRG's volunteer meeting: Wed. Jan. 11, 5:30pm, Multi"Purpose Room in the Student Life Centre. For more info visit wpirg.org or join our mailing list by emailing info@wpirg.org.

Educati n provides various education for to can even help examples: is a lecture series on that focuses on .......~"'''''' such as history, envirornent, HIV/AIDS, gender more. WPIRG Radio brings innovative thoughts & to 8if\vaves every Monday at 10Q,3fm.

One Tonne Challenge engages action on climate change, festival about various of building design &

Events WPIRG hosts many engaging events & workshops each term. Some highlights of the Winter 2006 term will include a Human Rights Conference on February 3rd & 4th; The Rainbow Reels Queer Film Festival, running March 9th to 12th.

We wi!! also be hosting guest speakers & presenters, and have severa! special film screenings planned.

Finally, watch out for our Black History Month & International Women's Week programming! And ... if any of this sounds really exciting and you to help out, or you have ideas share, please do contact us at info@wpirg.org or drop by our office.

ark

20

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2()06

science@;imprint.u,,·aterIno.ca Science Editor: Vacant Science' _\ssistant: Vacant

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Scott Houston Rob Blom IMPRINT STAFF

• I which is 300m shorter than the Burj Dubai. The wide base of the tower will help to keep the tower standing when the winds come a-crashing.

When ·<J.rinds circle a building that high, they create wind vortices that circle down the building and create powerful winds on the ground. This is why the wide base is so integral.

The tower will be used for offices, residential apartments, hotels and shops. At the base, there will be a man .. made lake.

Birds of a feather

Science went a "fowl" when it was di~t,.)yered that a species of birds that was to be only one species turned out to be t\vo. The old species, has now been separated into two distinct lineages - }v!etat'es and COfWlfll'eJ. Both lineages have predatory birds, nectar-drinking birds and long-winged ocean divers.

"People have been trying to classify birds based on their appearance for hundreds of years," says Peter Houde, a professor at New .Mexico State university. "It is valuable at some levels, but when you get really deep divergences you just hit a wall."

Houde and Matthew Faine analvzed the number of different nudeotides found on beta-fibrinogen across some 150 bird families at New Ivfexico State university. This research led to the finding of the new avian evolution.

More phallic symbols to rock the face oi the Earth

Dubai is famous for its commerce and no customs, but now it has a new reason to be famous: the worlds tallest tower. The Burj Dubai, or literally the Dubai tower will stand 800m tall -- just shy of a half-mile - and v..rill sport 160 floors. Currently, the tallest floored building is the Taipei tower,

Move over, Venice

i\rchaeologists in Lima, Peru have discovered irrigation canals that may lead to the origins of the region's agricultural-based societies. The canals date back 5,300 years and were used to irrigate fields. Ancient Peru was very self-sufficient, independent from outside influence around the same time the pyramids were being built in Egypt. According to the authors of the article published in the National Acadetl!J of Sciences, the canals are the oldest in the area and were vital to the ancient civilization.

Gyroscopes to detect cancer

Using gyroscopic technology, a biosensor is being developed to detect cancer proteins and a bug that causes MRSA. The device will be used to efficiently analyse tissue samples.

The vibrating disc used --less than one-tenth of a millimetre - works by identifying cancer proteins that are produced by cancer cells. The disc is coated v,1.th specific DNA pattern that bind cancer-specific markers to it's surfate. These proteins vary with different cancers and proteins from healthy celJs. Once a marker has been bound, the uneven weight causes an imbalance and change in frequency, thereby

f

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making the weight of a single molecule detectable.

Yet, as is key with all cancer recovry, "early di~gnosis and effective monitoring of cancers are known to be key factors influencing outcome," states lead researcher Professor Calum McNeil.

This new instrument will later be applied to any range of diseases, especially those concerned with bacteria.

Largest crocodile "configured" in New Mexico museum

No longer can the dinosaurs be classified as the largest species in prehistoric ecosystems. Unlabelled fossils were collected and congregated at the New Mexico Museum of Natural History and Science to produce a deinosu.hos, a thirty-foot long crocodile, matching the weight and length of a tyrannosaur. What intrigued paleontologists were the "over-sized" armored plates, which lead to the investigation, and later confirmation of, the first deinosuchosin New Mexico. Most crocodiles during that period were half the size and had thin, flat armored plates. These fossils were found near Farminton while other remains of the deinostlchoswere discovered in Texas, North Carolina and Montana.

Jewish village uncovered near Jerusalem

So, you thought that back in biblical days that the Jews fled Jerusalem? Well according to recent findings, some of them didn't go too far, according to Debbie Sklar-Parnes. It would seem that traces of a well..planned communitv was found on the outskirts of th~ town. U sing artifacts found in the area, archaeologists estimate that there were people living at the site from 70 A.D. to 132 A.D.

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by Earth's rotation for thousands 0 f years - however, it wasn't until 194 9 that the atomic clock was created, which keeps perfect time. The atomic clock is made from a cesium atom which vibrates at 9,192,631,770 times per second and doesn't change with time or position in space. The Interntltional Earth Rotation and Referenc'e Systems Service in Paris keeps track of measuring the Earth's rotation and compensates every year when the t\vo clocks, atomic and Earth's rotation, don't match up exactly.

"\X"e were surprised to find such a massive settlement," Sklar-Parnes said.

Obviously such a discovery would surprise anyone; the settlement could mean we'd have to re-write history itself. According to popular belief, the Jews fled north from Jerusalem after the Romans began persecuting them and destroying their property.

Many scientists question if the settlement was indeed Jewish, and one scientist in particular, Lee Levine, says the evidence is a little mixed.

The best evidence that tl1e settlement is Je\vish however is stone vessels that have been left behind. The Jews used stone containers because they didn't absorb and therefore satisfying religious purity laws.

Sweet toral line It would seem that greenhouses gases aren't all bad. They might be helping coral regenerate faster.

Australian scientist Ben McNeil and his colleagues calculated the water temperature all the way to 2100. The warmer water temperature "rill help the coral growth in the long run.

As the levels of carbon dioxide rise in the water, the levels of calcium and carbonate ions fall and the coral suffers. But McNeil and his colleagues say because of the water heating up, the coral will heat up and produce faster by 35 per cent as compared today. Other scientists say that McNeil's team didn't take n;ral bleaching into effect. "They are correct in saying that if you heat a coral up, it will work faster," says coral expert Charles Sheppard at the University of \X!arwick, UK. "But a fise in temperature does other things too, such as kill the algae, which ultimately kills the coral and reduces calcific~tion to nothing."

McNeil argues that bleaching doesn't necessarily kill coral and th81 coral adapts and recovers to some extent.

Flicker of ancient times revealed on Mars via satellite

The analysis of over six years of data collected from NASA's ~Iars Global Surveyor has identified hundreds of weak auroras - identical to the spectral light cast over Earth's polar rel,>1ons, --- across its barren landscape. Eons ago, the planet-wide magnetic field that covers Earth now also covered Mars, resulting in colourful auroras such as the Northern Borealis. However, tile liquid metal core that generates this field has long since solidified in .Mars, leaving only remnants within the Martian crust.

The auroras found appear only in the ultraviolet, making them invisible to the naked eye, unless special goggles are worn.

Planet Earth gains a second

After seven years, the once-com .. mon leap-se~ond has been added to accommodate the imperfections and unpredictable nature of Earth's rotation. Time has been measured

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rblom@imprint.uwaterloo.ca shollston@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

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lim te c an ea d ir qu lity a c ntl uln thr at Progress being made internationally for Kyoto Protocol efforts, but each of us can do our own part OMMUNIlY EDITOBlAL, Recently in Montreal, some 7,000 people - from over 189 countries - participated in the latest discussions about climate change and the Kyoto Protocol. Despite the controversy of the United States refusing to sign onto the Kyoto Protocol's mission, some 153 countries have ratified the agreement. Despite this, the progress on meeting Kyoto targets is described slow at best. This agreement is evidence of the world's on a major environmental and hun';an health problem. Alreadv releya.nt in a n~tional and glob~l context, the Idea of climate change

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becomes increasingly important as 'We examine our own region'S air quality status. \'7aterloo region has some of the worst air quality in Canada in terms of ground level ozone levels and inhalable particulate matter. The associated risks, according to the World Health Organization as well as the Lung Association, can run from asthma, cancer, birth defects, brain and nerve damage, cardiorespiratory problems and long-term injury to the lungs and breathing passages. \'\;1Ule it appears more relevant in the spring and summer, 'when smog adv1.sories seem that much more no .. ticeable, several winter days are also gaining smog warning status from the Ministry of the Environment.

Tht effects of the increased smog and overall reduced air have real and present consequences. According to the Ontario Medical Association,

in the year 2001, \\I'aterloo Region had 500 hospital admissions, 70 premature deaths and almost $400 million in total health and economic costs because of increased toxins in the air.

Improving on the public awareness of these issues are some of the major ways to fight climate change.

While the l\Iontreal discussion on climate change is primarily concerned with large .. ~cale reduction, the One Tonne Challenge encour.. ages Canadians to take initiative and

reduce car-idling to contribute to this cause. This may seem like an insignificant or irrelevant contribution, but tl1e reality is that every litre of gasoline burned creates 2.4 kg of carbon dioxide. When oxides of nitrogen 'and volatile organic compounds react with sunlight, ground-level ozone is produced \vhich creates smog. \Y/ith the in" creasing number of poor air quality days locally, any little contribution can go a long way.

Unlike land or territory pollution, which is usually restricted as a national environmental issue, air travels cross-boundary and pollutants with it. (Tbis makes the issue that much more threatening to humankind according to specialists at the Montreal discussion).

The region of \'?aterloo con" sistently faces poor air quality as a result of global, national, regional and local pollution. There

is a serious air quality problem in Kitchener,,\X1aterloo. Transboundary pollution accounts largely for this, but transportation, industry and various other sources als 0 contribute to the problem.

Preserving existing forested a!1id natural areas, planting trees in the more urbanized areas of the regio'l1, improving the monitoring and enforcement of industry related to our climate change go~ls, creating accessible public transportation system, and overall improving on the public awareness of these issues are some of the major ways to fight climate change. \X'ith or without the major discussions in l\lontreal about the next steps for the Kyoto Protocol, local. organizations and indi viduals will be needed to solidify healthy mr quality for our flltur~.

-Rebecca McNeil

21

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006

HEL" WANTED \Veckend counsellors and rclief staff work in homes for indil'iduals with dcvc.lopmental challenges.l\iininmm commitmenL Paid posiSend resume to Don l\Iader, K\\ f-bhilit.ation Services, lO8 S"dnev Street. Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. .

Website developer wanted -. paid \'ohmteer database-driven webdel·elopers. Graphic design skills an asset. Competitive salaries for the c'(pnienced developer. Quick hire for t;H': competent volunteers. Send re.u.mc to hr@'mechatrosoft.com.

Wayne for girls .- children's camp, Northeast Penn-8/1',/(6). If YOU love and wallt a caring: fun endwnment wc need directors and in"tructors for tennis, swimming golf, gmmatics, drama, high and low opcs, team sports, waterskiing, sailpainting/drawing, ceramics. silkprintmaking, batik, jewelry. :;-nphv, photographv', sculpture. clcroi,:'s, self defence, vidco Other staff administra(21 + ), nurses (R0J's and students), bookkeeper and nlOther,' helper. On carnpusinter-viz>" s Fcbruan J. Call 1-800-279-or 516-8X9-~217 or apply online \nlcw.canJpwaynegirls.com. f:xtem:l-A-Famiiy- part-time positions availahle providing in-home

and community support to individuals with developmental physical clullenges in a varidv of programs.

Providers will be reliable, energetic and committed. Up to $10.40 hourly.

Contact recruitment at 519-7410190, ext 38 or e-mail dlobe@eafwf. on.ca. For further info consult www. eafwr.on.ca.

Imprint requires a marketing sales assistant to aid the advertising/production manager in contacting clients, updating data bases and other office duties on a weekly basis, This po:,ition is opcn to full~time undergraduate University of \\'aterloo students who qUJlih' for the workstudv program (OSAP recipients and rcgistered in a minimum 60 per cent course load). If this rositioll appeals to you, please e-mai resume to laurietd~J:·hotmail.com or bring them to the Imprint office, SLC room 1116 during office hours.

Let's make this your best summer yet- Camp \\'avr;e, northeast Pennsylvania, USA. Counselor.. speeialist all land/water ,ports inc. 'Tennis, golf, soccer, outdoor ad\'enture, camping, mountain biking, climbing/ropes, roller ockc\" rocketr\', arts and crafts, sailing, \\·,iten,kiing·, theatre, radio, I'ideo, CDt drivers, wait ,taff and more. RN's for our health centre. lnteniews in conjunctioll with 4School Job Fair, Wednesday, February 1. Let's get the ball roll ing nO\\·1 Online application ":ww.campwaync.

PUS NOMINATIONS Numinntions arc requested for the undergraduate student ,<:ats on Senate: faculty seats - one student elected by/from the full-time (11 part-time und~rgraduate students in ! he faculty of arts, term from May 2006 to April 30, 2008. One student elected bvlfrorn the full-time or undergraduate students ill faculty of engineering, term from 2006 to April 30, 2007. One elected hv/from the full-time or undergraduate stcluents ill the faculty of enviromentaJ studof independent studies, knn from May 1,2006 to April ;0, l008. Oue st~dent elected by! from the full·time or part-time unstudents in the faculty 01 mathematics, term from Mav 1, ZOO(i to April 30,2007. One student e:lccted by/from the full-time or partrime undergraduate students in the of Science, term froml'vIay 1, 2U()6 to April 30, 2008. At-large seats -. on,;; studellt elected by/from the hil/.·time or part-time undergraduate ,ludcnts, term from May 1,2006 to ZOOS. Onc student elected the full-time or part-time undergraduate students, term from J, 2006 to April :;0, 2007. Nomination forms are available at: http:// \\ v,w.adm. uwaterloo.ca/infosec/clectiom/scllatenomform.pdf or from the Federation of Students' office.

At lCJst five nominators arc required ill each case. Completed nomination forms should be !iubmitted to the chief returning officer, secretariat. i\H 3()60 no later than ):30 p.m., January 20, 2006. Elections, jf necessary, will coincide with the al\lmal Federation of Students clec(Februarv 14-16). Student senaWrs complcti;lg their terms of office 01 stepping down as of A.pril 30, 2006 iHC: Paul Lehmann (arts), Jonathan F.,hbcin (eng), Caustan De Riggs Adam Felix (math), Rebec-

com, e-mail infofsLcampwayne.com.

I-Hbb-549-296':1, (5168&3-3067). l\Iarketing Position - arc VOll ene;getic? .,\ good conlln\lni~ator?

Goal onented? if vou are, Vlftual Causeway is looking for YOU. Virtual Causeway is recruiting extroverted students who are intercsted in devdoping a sales :md marketing career by becoming marketing services representatives. The successful candidate will have the abilitv to le:Jfn about sales/marketing processes of top technologv companies. thrive in a performance-based em'ironment, and be willing to have fun. Come and compete in the fast-paced technology industn' and send yourresumes i'<) jobs@v-causew;1v.com. N)[ more information about the marketing sen'ices representative, please visit ww\\,.v-causeway.com/compam·._careers.php.

Editorial assistant needed at A['· ternatives Journal for the winter semester, full time. Opell to co-op or regular program students. To be cligile must haye been on OSAP in fall term. Go to \\ww.alternati,'esjournaL ca for details.

Imprint needs a \olunteer co .. ordinator. '111is is a work-stud\' position consuming at least 10 hours per week. The volunteer co-ordinator is responsible for recruiting and training new volunteers. Knowledge of Im/Jrillt is an asset, computcr skills are a must. You must qualifr for the

work stud,- plan recipients).

Apph in person at the JmfJrint office, room 1116, SLC or \ ia c-mciil at imprinteic(ii,glnail.com.

Intern needed at AUematires Journal for thc willtcr semester, part-time. To be eligible must ha\c becn on OS,\P in falJ term. Go to w\\,w.altern<lti\·e,>journal.ca for details.

LEISURE/Flf'NESS Pole-Fit Flare Fitness - discover K-

'V's popular pole dancing fitness program! Check us out online at www. polefit.ca for registration and program information or call (5 342-2974.

HOUSING Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both uni\ersities. Parking and all amenities.

Please ca1l 725-534b.

FOR SALE Coleman gas electric portable generator. 110 and 220 outlet, 6,2 50 surge, 5,000 running constant, 5 gallon gas tank, II hour running constant, complete with wheels. Brand new, still in box. Call 577-5620.

Contrary to popular opinion, duct tape is NOT good for fixing everything ...

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul stumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at school that I wanted to ask out, but! got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh, "Well," says Paul, staigiltening up, "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out and she agreed."

'That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going oute" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "But I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped "IT" to my leg, so jf I did, it WOUldn't show. So I get to her door and rang the doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw!"

"And what happened then?" asked Jeff.

"I kicked her in the face,"

ULLETI Baxter (science), 'Hmvcer Ali (athuge) and i\iatthewAustin (at-large), (all ;lfe eligible for re-election). Refer to the secretariat's website (http:// www.adm.uwaterloo.caiinfosec/) for information about Scnate and its committees and councils.

CJ

ANNOUNCEMENTS Win up to $1000 for your writing!

Students in third and fourth years qualify for STC's Heidi Thiessen Memorial Award for Student Technical \Vriting. Visit www.stc-soc.org/ awarcls/studenLphp for details and an application.

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Snow banks - yom garbage and recycling collection - snow not only makes walking and driving a little more demanding, it also makes garbage and recycling collection challenging as well .. Please help ensure your garbage and recycling cOlltain" ers are accessible by placing them at the edge of your driveway or dig a ledge in your snow bank for easy access. Any questions call tl83-5100.

ill

VOLUNTEER Prueter Public School (Union/Lancaster area) needs volunteers to work in classrooms or WIth individual students. Call Bill Shouldice 571)-0910.

UPCOMING Friday, January 20, 2006 Information meeting for U\Vn IDA' 5 2006 Development Project. \Vhere 7 Attawapiskat First Nations Communih; Northern Ontario. What? Empowering local youth to initiate positin: change in their communities.

WllO? 8-10 U\V students. \\'11en?

May/June 2006. \\-11V? Opportunitv to gain valuable experience and make a differencc! Application deadline is today. r(H more information and application, see \\'Ww.uwihda.org.

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FRIDAY,

JAc~UARY

6, 2006

"porrs(uJ inlprint.l1watcrlotJ.c:\ Sports Editor: Yacam Sports "\ssistant: Yacam.·

It I Scott Houston iMPRINT STAFf

The recruits [or \\'arrior football this year are looking very good, as some of the best players in the country are on their ,yay to \\'aterloo.

Many of the recruits are within the top ten in Canada for their nosition. Ten of I ,lavers . " the new recruits are [rom the tri-cities area; nine of them from I<1tchener-\v.;'aterloo. Here are some of the local boys that caught L1-jc eye of football coaches at U\V Evan Martin

]\Iartin played for Cameron Heights in 1<1tch·

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ener, and was the quarterback, free safety and punter for the team. He won the MVP award in 20U4 and, according to MarshaH Bingeman, assistant football coach at 1l\'V,: he "muld have won it again this year if he could have. Bingeman also said that Martin has great mobility and will be a great asset as quarterback.

Dustin Zender

Zender played wide receiver for Grand River Collegiate and is the top-rated high school \vide receiver on the all-star football list. This kid is fast. He was a finalist in the 100m finals tor South-\'iV'estern Ontario and according to

rly hristm

Thank God school has started again.

Arnidst the gloomy souls being hurried back into dassi:Ooms and amidst the unmistakable odor of and Captain Morgan left over from New Year's a small contingent of student athk:tes around campus arc borderline-giddy as regular season action recommences this ·weekend.

And to me, that me,ms only one thing: Thank God I don't have to be an athlete season as a father and fiance short of an athletic eyent. \'Chat

Continued from cover

The t.eam had set a goal of placing in the Na nn,,,,TO;'"'' securing second place, and their successful streak. The \X'arriors goal and although they had not unlocked the hold the Mustangs had over the National Championships yet, they know itis an attainable goal for the future, considering they were already generating doubts this year. \)/'atedoo knows that with a sensational team, such as \'V,'estcm,itis onlv a matter of time until the rest of theteamsrisetotbeirleveL McCrae explains that, "\,\rhen you get really good people and reaUy good teams, they make the other teams good; they

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Bingeman, he can run a 4.4 secund 40.. vard dash. Bingeman also said of Zender, "He has great hands and great height."

Toppy Vongvilaysone

Vongyilaysone is one of the highest-rated linebackers in the province. Along with Evan Marrin, he was responsible for turning around the Cameron Heights footbaU program. Binge.. man says Toppy is a hard-nosed player with great marks and he has a lot of depth as a football player. Since Vongvilaysone plays both linebacker and fullback, the hardest decision concerning 10ppy is where he ,,,ill be best suited to play for the \'{'arriors.

Jake Kindl

Jake is a top ten basketball player and ,vas offered scholarships to play in the US but decide(] instead to come football at U\;;;: Bingema1l said that Kind! is a great receiYer. Andrew Van Pelt

According to Coach Bingcman, Andrew wa, Lhe catalyst of Bluevale's \'{'estem BO\'d appearances. He's also helped lead his team t() hack-to-back championships. Bingeman abc) said that Van Pelt is a great running back and has an exellent ability to cut. shouston@imprint.uwaterloo.c(j

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I embarked on was no simple holiday; it was a grueling seven-day pentathlon. \\?hile studentathletes were back home enjoying Mom's home cooking, I strapped on the Nikcs and took part in a week worthy of the Olympics. Here's how the events shook down- to the best of nw recollection.

Eyent 1: Soft-stepping, December 25 My Christmas Day started when the Christmas day started, at "12:00 a.m. while playing Santa Claus (minus the wool coat). This event was fun at the time, but became less enjoyable with the arising of my stepson at 6:30 a.m. And how did we reward ourselves for anot'her year of gift delivery? By hosting a multiple· course meal with multiple family members. Sleep, I learned, was a luxury, not a right.

Event 2: Consumer hurdles, December 26 I saw boxes on Boxing Day lots of them, flying off shclyes. \)/'orking at a major big-box ch?jn retailer on Boxing Day taught me one

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thing _.- it is possible, if not encouraged, to risk suffocation for a $50 MP3 player.

Eyent 3: 240-kilometre dash, December 27 Finally, a day off. Of course, driving to the shores of Lake Huron ror a visitwit.h mv in-laws is hardly a day off. But I think I may have set a record in the process - most Fr~d Penner songs in one trip, Event 4: 240-Kilometre dash with hurdles, December 28 Leaving my fiancee Ashly, my daughter Andie and my stepson Calcb with loving family, I took orf on yet another drive, complete ,,,ith a stop at work -- and more customers to weave through - back home. And another record, too: most naps at the ,,;heel without an accident.

En:llt 5: Bag toss, December 29 \'1ith about a half-dozen black garbage bags full of wrapping paper, it was time to rediscO'\'er the living room carpet. Extra points

kes ronze at N

raise the level of the competition." And so the \X'arriors are constantly working hard to improve and eventually overtake the Mustangs. "It's time for someone to rise up," McCrae declares. \Vhile eyeryone agrees it's time for someone new to take the stage, the question seems to be how it can be done. No team has the samc shock value as the Mustangs. "They have a Bair and they're good;' describes McCrae. It is unknown to what lengths the \Varriors must go in order to reach that number one spot but a London coach attempts to explain the reason for Western's success: "They are entertainers," she says. "They know how to entertain." Combin .. ing that sense of genuineness and flair, talent

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and rorm that \'>i'estern possesses apparently is a tough feat to accomplish, Like all other competithcc athletes, the \'i;'aterloo cheerleaders practice and condition themselves into \yell-oilcd machines and, like other athletes, they must concentrate on their positions in relation to their teammates, on their timing and rely on the strength and abiE·ties of theirpartners.1!nlike other athletes, they have to look amazing while doing it. \'7aterloo was described as having performed \l.'1th "great poise and great flow," said McCrae.

"I'm not an expert in this field," she explains, "but from an athletic point of view; I know what athletes look like and they were great."

were awarded for removing leftovers from the: fridge, but I was awarded none.

Event 6: Decoration Lldelion, December 30 OK, I slept through this one and I was still tired. I took a zero from the Russian judge.

Event 7: Bali drop, December 31 Haying completed yet another mind-numb. ing drive, it was time for me and my loved one,; to ring in the New Year..And after a smorgasbord of finger foods, the entire crashed. Ashly and her mother were the ones awake by midnight. I took another zen) from the Russian judge.

So as the \\"inter term begins, of an increase in sleep. j ani see no quite happy with returning to the marathon 01' work and famik As 1 haye learned thi~ is a lut easier than the arncguire@imprint.uwaterloo.Ci;;

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hampions Ip Cheerleading is a sport abol1t achievirw sonal goals. Tr:~ talent of the entire tea;; in the personal development of each rnembt'r -.. it is difficuit for one. cheerleader to tw,tlr'C'"h rise aboye the rest in ski i1. And so, it's now to the team to develop and do what to do to reach their goals in time for next National Championships For no,v, however, \';'1ci1 their well-deserved bronze medal, the team is busy recruiting new talent for the winter term and cheering on the other \,.;,rarriors, hopefully spreuclingsome of their success to the rest of the U\V athletic teams. wwager@imprint.uwaterloo.Qa

Saturday. January 7. 2006 lJS St Frands Xavier X-VJomen 6:00 PM. UWPACGym

Warrior (M) Volleyball Warriors QU0cn's 4- 1 in th2 opening of the touma ment. In game 2/ Darting WaS outstanding as eug-ed tile it2 MrGiH Redmen in a shoot-out. Curtis fl,:arte 31} sa\'~s in r0gulotion a{lfl owrtime. then 6 of 8 shooters in Sh00t·uUt. Wateiloo Wi'nt on to defeat G<!I<'-G",~<; 11-5 in tnf2 final g;'lme to cWlm tllf} tt)Uf'il.'lrntmt t:hamploH'ihip.

m-;:

Graham Jarman, Basketball

Saturday, January 7. 2006 vs W!.U Golden Hawks 8:00 PM, UW PAC Gym

Warrior Swimming Sunday, January 7. 2006 vs arock Badqers 10:00 A."'. IJW PAC Pee;

23

FRU)AY. JANUARY 6, 2006

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UW upsets McGill to clinch cup in Warrior hockey Roo Mclachlan IMPRINT STAFF

Due to the thoroughness with ~which the U\x7's men's hockey team trounced Ottawa Gee Gees last Friday in the l\Jontreal Cup final, one \w;uld dunk that the real championship dash ,i(;curred the night before.

ThHt's becau;;e the ninth-ranked \:\arriors st1ll111ed the No.2 McGill Redmen in the tournament's true b;,rnburner on December 29 by a 4-3 score in the semifinaL In that game, a shootout \gas required to decide v.-hich of the two OUA titans would "dvancc to face the Gee Gees.

In the final, Ottawa and \\'ater100 simply traded goals in the opening frame.

However, U\X"s deadly offence kicked into high gear in the second as the \"X'ar1'iors outscored the Gee Gees 8-1 in the middle period.

Responding as best as they could, the Gee Gees chipped in three goals to \"x'aterloo's one in the third.

Exploding offensively for the \1i/arriors in the final was second-year centre Sean Roche witl1 three goals and "vo assists, and rookie David Edgeworth with five helpers. As well, Matt Levicki, David Philpott,Alex MacDonell and Doug Spooner each had a three-point night for UW: Tbeprevious nigbtagainstMcGill, things were much more tense. It looked as though \X'aterloo's of to remain within distance of the for;; big break

Iv1cGill made the

tuurnarnent ~--- he ais() \\'aterioo to yictory in the aforementioned romp ·._"~""!,,,,,.11-5 --eamedhim 1)\"\'

goalie Nick Panwbo played his first game ;;ioo:: October due to injury, led the ~:illtri{J:ts to a 4-1 win over Queen's in U\'<i's first tournament game on December 28.

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Wager

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,'''_'''L''''''- December 3 saw the Wa\X'arriot:'\men's hockey team '''_ltrender tlle top spot to th~ \'V'estafter a hard-fought Lakehead ThunderThe Thunderwolves, who are hovennQ at third place beneath \X'ain the Far West division, faced in a clouble-header over 3. Triumphing in the \"\'aterloo smouldered the 4-2 w1th three goals the second period, finishing off wilh OIle in the third.

Aside from a te~wpenalties, the action did not pick up until the second, 23 Lakehead hammered 22 shots em \X'",rior goaitender Curtis Dading. with half as many shots 011 net, scored three goals, dernonstrating lilt: (Juality of the \\;'arrior offence.

Third-year Ryan Macgregor hwnched the scoring six minutes iHtY! the second, with assist,mce 1'rem 0.1att lannerta and goalie, 1\'vo minutt's later, secDave Philpott put one in a power play --- his fiftb of the se;"on~~- with another assist from lannetta, and Sean J\10i1:. Rookie Shwe Hart added a third goal five mLmtes after, assisted by Moir.

2-0 lead stood third period, \"hen U\"\;'s carne up \,-ith a and Adam :\fethcrel ~U~,-,~"c.u a second keeper Mathieu proving that this year a team can't give \'Caterloo too many secondchance opportunities.

The Redmen briet1\' restored their lead with another power marker by Mathieu Leclerc to make the score 3-2_

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Shorr-handed two men, the \\-arriors allowed the first goal of the game with 30 seconds lcfr in an interference penalty. l-lmvever, the men earned the goal back three minutes into the third, with a goal from sccond-vear Frank Fazio and assists from :'\ciam Metherel and Alex ;\lacDondl.

The \1Colves, in turn, answered with a goal of their 0\'1'11, ending the scoring for the game. This barely put a dent in Darling's momentum as he shut out another 10 shots from Lakehead to maintain a superb .954 save percentage tor the game.

Game 1:\1.'0 sa\v a different \Vater!c,o offence as the men could not manage the case \,vith which they scored the preyious night. After one hom Philpott in the second of the first, the \\!arrior scoring was put to an end. Sean Roche and Dave Edgc\vorth assisted on the lone goal. ~/hile the scoring was silenced, the parade to the penalty box began, with both teams receiying dose to -'30 minutes in peanlties each. The 'with 18 shots on net in the second, managed to eventually slip one by Darling. tying up the game with three rninutes left in the period.

The \"1{;'aterIoo goaltender .rnaintained his composure, denying 38

Nevertheless, a determined Warriot squad remained undaunted as Spooner knotted the score ''lith a goal that was contested. McGill claimed that the puck ricocheted off Spooner's leg as he collided \vith Poitras, the Redmen's goalie.

The goal was counted and five minutes of tour-on-four 0\'ert1111e failed to break the deadlock In the shootout, Darling and Poih-as foiled alk'!npts from the first five 81mters from each team. 111en the next two skaters from each team scored.

Spooner, \Vaterloo's eighth shooter, then buried one to put the pressure on1\kGill once again.

Darling --- one of UW"s best netminders i~years --- then shutthe door to seal the win for the \X'arriors_ Once more .i'vkGill was upset as their fifth shooter, Charles Gauthier, helieyed he had scored. Despite bis protest, it was ruled by the referee that it was not a goal, who said the bounced off the of tbe post and crosstnr.

the The home-and-home series kicks off Friday,Januarv 6 at the Columbia lcefidd Arena at 7: 30 p.rn. Game two goes January in the ic~orest City and is also at 7:30 p.m.

$8.50/hr to start • Work on Campus • Flexible hours • Raises Ever~ 20 Shifts • A Fun Team Environment if you are a good Communicator, Enthusiastic and Dependable" then we want to talk to you l Please apply in person at the Office of Development in South Campus Hal1.

Please inciude il cover letter, re5ume,ciass schedule and three references_ Questions: Kathy Prpic ext3129 kprpic@uwaterloo_ca

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:}/a:vt: a Sllit for J

CONESTOGA MALL (519)746-5440

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rmciachlan@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

If I c shots on net throughout the game, upping his save percentage from the prc\'ious night to .974, After the \>;,'olves' scoring cease-xl, pressuring both \1\'atcrloo and Lakehead to pull ahead and causing sen:ral penalties in the third period. Five-minute fighting penalties were awarded to both teams, as well as a misconduct apiece four minutes into the period.

The third ended after a couple more penalties, sending the men into overtime.

Despite their scoring streak from the previous njght~ the \V'arriors could not manage to seal the ,,'.'in and the first~p!ace rankin the Far \Vest division. Waterloo no\v sits comtortably in second place in thdnlivision, one point away from \'V'Cstcrn. The \x7arriors look fo),v,-ard to ti1cir next 1:'1,'10 ga.mes against the Mustangs as \viE prove to be a crucial indicator of \\!aterloo's final position in the division. \'{!ith a win over the undefeated McGill Redmen in the Third Annual Montreal Cup tournament over the break and a solid fourth-place ranking in the OU\ overall, the \V'arriors head .into the second half of their season as serious contenders for the upcoming playoffs. wwager@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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