The future of the Warriors
A look at the new athletes entering the fall term, page 20
Planting for a greener future
Planters save the world and earn some cash, page 12
i mprint un i v e r s ity of waterloo student newspaper
Friday, July 28, 2006
vol 29, no 7
imprint . uwaterloo . ca
Fed Bus court battle comes to an end
Mohammad jangda
The final arguments for the Fed Bus hearing came to an end July 25. The cross-examining of the witnesses and the concluding statements were presented to the Ontario Highway Transport Board as the court adjourned to make its decision. Narmeen Lakhani special to imprint
The Federation of Students’ attempt to save the Fed Bus wrapped up after the Tuesday, July 25 hearing. The Feds were applying for a scheduled service licence along with Student Transportation of Canada (STC) to continue running Fed Bus after it was ordered to stop running earlier this year following a complaint by Greyhound Canada. Greyhound first filed a complaint against Feds in 2005 after nearly 20 years of Fed Bus service. In Spring 2005, Feds general manager Suzanne Burdett, with former Feds President Becky Wroe, had a meeting with Greyhound to discuss the accusations made. Greyhound’s complaint was that Fed Bus has been running a scheduled service as opposed to
a chartered service, requiring that Feds and STC have a different licence. STC had been providing the buses and drivers for the Fed Bus service. In a formal hearing in March 2006, Greyhound presented its case and urged that Fed Bus service be terminated by July 31 of this year. The hearing declared that Fed Bus is in fact operating a scheduled service and must obtain a licence. Feds were willing to legally continue this service, charging a return ticket of $19.50 to and from Toronto upon issuance of the scheduled service license. Greyhound argued that the Fed Bus was unnecessary because it basically provided the exact same service as Greyhound itself does. Feds had to prove in this week’s final hearing that there was an economical need for their service. Feds
also argued there was a need for the service because the Fed Bus route runs to locations that Greyhound routes currently do not. Greyhound has countered by offering up to five more routes to their current roster and, if necessary, increasing circulation on Friday and Sunday nights. Greyhound argues little would change if the Fed Bus stopped and they took over the routes. A round trip ticket with Greyhound costs approximately $27. The hearing this week pitched the final arguments, with lawyers from both sides cross-examining witnesses. Michelle Zakrison, Feds president, said a disappointing 10 to 15 students out of an anticipated 30 that showed their support, testified to the positive operation of Fed Bus. They were asked about the
benefits of the service, their primary response being its economical rates. The students also proclaimed that the proceeds of the business returned to the Feds, funding positive groups within the organization. They also attested to the amiable drivers provided by STC a pleasant ride with fellow students, not encouraging the need for comfort or luxury on such a short trip. Greyhound is offering Feds a 10 per cent commission on all tickets sold through the university. Feds argued that Greyhound currently only provides a single bus with one stop in downtown Toronto. The Ontario Highway Transport Board regulates bus service and Greyhound does have little to no competition for most of its bus routes. Feds’ objective is to give students
the choice they deserve of which transportation they prefer, regardless of the economic loss or benefit to either company. With regards to the trial’s outcome, Zakrison said, “We’re unsure of the outcome of what the hearing will be. The Ontario Highway Transport Board will let us know as soon as possible.” She ended on the note that Feds will inform the students as soon as they find out the decision and whether or not further action will be taken. Decisions may come as late as September 5, by which time Greyhound will have already commenced its proposed new service routes. Check the Imprint website for updates throughout the month of August. You can visit us at http:// imprint.uwaterloo.ca
N ews Sending stacks to Shenyang Imprint
Friday, july 28, 2006
news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca News Editor: Ashley Csanady News Assistant: Emma Tarswell
A history student from Manitoba crosses Canada to collect books to send home to China Emma Tarswell
Jillian Higgins Ashley Csanady
imprint staff
Arthur GuoBin Yin, a third year history student from the University of Manitoba, has been collecting English language books for his hometown of Shenyang, China. On Monday, July 24, he visited UW, the last stop on his countrywide book drive. He first began collecting books when he realized that the city, with a population of about 7.2 million, was still in desperate need of books written in English for its citizens. GuoBin Yin explained that in China, “studying English has become a major part of the education for the students,” as it is prominent in the business and science world. He also stated that “not too many people from China can afford to send their children to study abroad. If I can set up an English library for them, then the people do not have to travel this far like me to have access to the same books I have access [to] here.” GuoBin Yin’s project began at the University of Manitoba in 2004 by visiting professors in the anthropology and history departments. His first donation came from one of his professors, Dr. Gerry Bowler, who gave GuoBin Yin his first 15 books. Once he collected more books and made his first trip to China with a small number of volunteers, GuoBin Yin was encouraged to start his national book drive. During his visit to UW GuoBin Yin said that he “found [that the] people are very compassionate and friendly,” and explained that many people, such as Dean Tom Coleman from combinatorics and optimization and professor Emanuel Carvalho from economics, organized small book drives in their departments to help him out. The UW Used Bookstore also donated a large quantity of books for the drive. John Jongerius, from the UW Used Bookstore, said that his
special to imprint imprint staff
US
In a world where nuclear bombs and other weapons of mass destruction are becoming increasingly prominent, you may be surprised by the recent news that a flaming Bacardi bottle is indeed just as dangerous. The Associate Press reported a Miami woman is suing the beverage company after she was severely burnt by a flaming rum bottle at a Bacardi promotion. Allegedly, the bartender was pouring the rum when a customer lit a menu on fire, and proceeded to place it in the stream of alcohol. The Bacardi bottle was then transformed into a literal “flamethrower,” burning and permanently disfiguring the woman. A tragic event like this should move us all to consider the safety hazards of going to a bar, and to ask ourselves the serious question; what’s next, kamikaze shooter girls? Whitney Wagner
John Jongerius of the UW Used book store hands over book to Arthur GouBin Yin. guess would be that “GuoBin Yin took around 500 books,” and that “when he came in, we gave him free range of the bookshelves.” Jongerius was approached a few days before GuoBin Yin’s arrival and said that he “always helps out groups and individuals, but it was Arthur’s website that convinced [him] to help.” The majority of the books that GuoBin Yin received were relatively new, most no older than three years and, according to Jongerius, GuoBin Yin “was looking for a wide variety of books” and “he did very well at Waterloo, even was delayed in leaving.” Jongerius said that this impressed
GuoBin Yin as most of the other schools have been donating older books and Waterloo’s contribution will enable students in China to study the same courseware as the students here. GuoBin Yin has gone to the University of Toronto, York University, McGill, Simon Fraser, Carlton, Ryerson, Western Ontario, Concordia, the University of Calgary, the University of Alberta and the University of Saskatchewan in order to collect a large amount of books. During his journey across Canada, GuoBin Yin has collected close to 12,000 books and has worked with
countless numbers of people. He explained, “I cannot remember the number of people who [have] helped, but most of the people I met [think] it is a worthwhile project. A lot of Chinese students [have] volunteered their time for the project.” GuoBin Yin has been chronicling his work on his website www.librarydream.com where he posts pictures and writes a blog of his progress. He hopes that once his book drive is over he will have “set up a good English library in the city of Shenyang.” etarswell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
New masters program coming to UW Advanced degree program for public health workers now available Suzanne Gardner imprint staff
A new Master of Public Health (MPH) degree will be offered for the first time through the University of Waterloo’s Faculty of Applied Health Sciences this coming August 2006, providing advanced training to both current and aspiring public health practitioners. The program aims to provide present and future public health workers with the wide range of skills needed to prevent disease as well as maintain and support the healthy well-being of Canadian and foreign populations. “This program will make a major contribution to training the next generation of leaders and managers,” said Dr. Christina Mills, MPH program leader and public health physician.
The 23 full-time and 24 parttime students will be welcomed into the Foundations of Public Health course on August 21 which they will complete in a two-week block. The students will then complete seven core courses and three elective courses via UW’s online distance education system. All students will meet again at the end of the program for the Capstone course, which will also be a two-week block course on-campus. Additionally, students are required to complete a 12 to 16 week practicum working in a community setting. While the program will be primarily aimed at working health professionals who wish to upgrade their existing training, the faculty also hopes that an MPH degree will become a desirable option for health sciences undergraduates as well.
Mills said “several disease episodes in recent years, including outbreaks of fatal infectious diseases such as SARS and the Walkerton tainted water crisis, have highlighted the need to expand the public health system to better protect the health of Canadians.” The MPH program builds upon the successful master’s and doctoral degree programs in population health that are already offered by the Health Studies and Gerontology department. Currently, however, there is no recognized national accreditation organization in Canada to provide professional certification to graduates of masters-level public health programs. Leanne Smith, MPH co-ordinator, explains that “there is a collaborative effort across Canada to come to an agreement on guide-
Be careful how you dress this Halloween because you just might be suspected of carrying weapons of mass destruction. No, the costume I’m referring to is not Saddam Hussein or any other seemingly plausible get-up — it’s zombies who are now getting flak from security officials. A story by the Associated Press reported that in downtown Minneapolis, six people dressed up as zombies were stopped by local officials because they were suspected of carrying “simulated weapons of mass destruction.” They were allegedly carrying bags with wires sticking out which resembled bombs. A police spokesperson said, “they were arrested for behaviour that was suspicious or disturbing.” This just goes to show that any sign of individuality now means you are a terrorist in the Midwest. UK
lines for master’s level training in public health and [UW is] actively involved in those discussions. A draft set of guidelines has been circulated to stakeholders for discussion.” When asked if it is expected that this goal will be reached by the time the first class of students graduates (as early as 20 months from the beginning of the program for full-time students), Smith claimed that “it is impossible to predict when exactly this process will come to fruition because there are so many stakeholders and variables.” For more information on admission and curriculum requirements for the MPH degree, please visit the program website at www.ahs.uwaterloo.ca/hsg/mph/index.html.
If you were looking for a way to instill good budgeting skills and a proper respect for money in the youth of today, then look no further. Hasbro Games is currently modernizing the classic board game Monopoly by replacing the paper money with a debit card. The new game, aptly titled “Monopoly Here and Now”, was released this week in England to the delight of shopaholics everywhere, an article by the Associate Press reported. As well as changing from paper to plastic, the new version also features a change in some of the street names. Prominent English addresses such as Kensington Palace Gardens and Notting Hill Gate will now be included. So bust out your plastic and start swiping!
sgardner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
news
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
Young athlete fundraises for Canada Mohammad Jangda imprint staff
courtesy canfund
Eleven-year-old Holly Micuda with her Canadian coloured wristbands.
Canadian athletes now have a new source of inspiration through 11-year-old Holly Micuda. The Oakville, ON native is raising money for Canadian athletes by selling wristbands, coloured with the Canadian red and white, for $3 a piece. Her mission began with an assignment in her Grade 5 class during the Torino Winter Olympic Games in February. Students were asked to write an essay on the funding situation for Canadian athletes. Holly felt that Canadian athletes did not get enough financial support but decided that simply writing an essay was not enough either. She created a fundraising campaign and began selling her wristbands — stamped on the inside with the slogan, “Don’t just hope they’ll win, help them win!” — with all proceeds going to the Canadian Athletes Now fund (CANfund), an organization that provides financial support to athletes to help them train for the Olympic Games. “Canadians expect top results from their athletes on an international level, but that is not always possible with insufficient funds,” explained Laura Sardone, captain of UW’s varsity women’s cross country team, who is volunteering at CANfund this summer. Sardone is working on various media relations, promotion and planning initiatives for Holly’s project. Holly has made a fair bit of progress since starting the initiative, having sold around 9,000 wristbands so far, plus receiving donations such as the $5000 from Olympic Gold-medalist speed skater Clara Hughes. By the end, Holly hopes to sell 500,000 wristbands. When asked why she felt it was important
to support Canadian athletes, Holly answered, “Athletes train very hard to get to the Olympics, and it must mean a lot to get a medal.” Without the right support and resources, it’s very hard to do well at the Olympic level. Sardone agreed, adding that despite how good an athlete one is, support from teammates, the community and one’s country can make achieving success a lot easier. She further added that “by helping an organization like CANfund help our athletes we can help those athletes reach their goals, which will hopefully inspire future generations to get involved in sport.” The impact can definitely be seen in Holly, who spent much of her time glued to the TV set during the last two Olympic Games and has role models such as Sami Jo Small, goalie for the Canadian Women’s Olympic hockey team. She is fairly active, playing golf, volleyball and soccer during the summertime. Figure skating is where her heart lies, though. “I have a crazy dream, to get into the 2014 Olympics as a figure skater,” said Holly. She added that she is hard at work to make the dream come true. “I think that it is extraordinary that someone as young as Holly is so concerned with [the issue of lacking funds for Canadian athletes],” said Sardone. “Holly feels inspired by our Canadian athletes, and I am personally inspired by her.” Micuda attended the Arts Computer Experience camp earlier this summer and said that she really enjoyed it. Her mother, Michelle Micuda, is a UW alumnus who graduated with a BMath in 1991. For more information on Holly’s mission or to purchase a wristband, visit www.CanadianAthletesNow.ca. mjangda@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Co-op south of the border back on Emma Tarswell Imprint staff
Co-op students looking for work south of the border can rest easy, as it appears proposed changes to their necessary work visa have been put on hold. At the beginning of spring term, the U.S. State Department announced that they were looking into changing the requirements for J-1 Exchange Visitors visas for Canadian coop students on work terms in the States. The proposal underwent a 60-day comment period to determine whether or not it would pass. The 60 days are now up. During this time, according to Feds vice president education Jeff Henry, “the U.S. State Department was bombarded with response from American companies,” enough of a response that reviewing their proposal seemed like a good idea. Currently, all co-op students are required to have the J-1 Exchange Visitors visa but are given a J-1 “trainee” visa, which needs to be backed by an organization approved by the U.S. State Department. The current requirements also state that students must only stay in the U.S. for a temporary time and they must have enough money to cover their expenses while in the States.
Suggested changes would basically bar any Canadian student who is currently working towards a degree from obtaining the necessary J-1 Visa thus completely cutting off Canadian co-op students from gaining employment in the U.S. The visa would also have been limited to “interns,” students who have recently graduated and “trainees,” students with at least three years experience in their fields. The proposed changes also suggested that students have an in person interview before obtaining the visa. Henry stated that these proposed changes “wouldn’t just affect our co-op students, it would affect the entire group of students.” Throughout this time, the university encouraged students to go about their daily routines and told them not to worry about the possible changes. The State Department has not yet made any announcements on what they plan to do and the Feds are waiting for an official announcement. It is likely a few years will pass before anything is decided and implemented. Henry says the university expects that the co-op situation in the States will remain the same for the next two years and potentially from there on. etarswell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
news
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
The world gone to the dogs
I’ve had dogs on the mind lately; these are after all the dog days of summer. While getting my news fix, I couldn’t but be reminded of a quote from Julius Caesar, also dog related. Antony, at the death of Caesar, laments that Caesar’s spirit roaming for revenge will, “Cry ‘Havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of war.” I didn’t pull these hounds of war out of thin air, but they have become a rather tired cliché. Evoking the romantic tradition, bloggers and two-bit commentators are quick to evoke this canine image at the drop of a hat for the most trivial of things. As news evolves from day to day, new conflicts displace the old. Some conflicts don’t even make the news. Project Ploughshares, a Waterloo-based peace org anization, recently issued their annual Armed Conflicts Report summer update. At the end of 2005, the citizens of 27 nations were suffering through 32 separate armed conflicts. An armed conflict was marked by more than 1000 deaths since hostilities began. In the previous decade the same number of conflicts, were resolved, so hope does exist. Around here, the days are usually quiet, save for the bleating of a wronged Engineering Society executive or an Iron Warrior editor. I briefly considered a longwinded rant about why couldn’t we all just pretend that the Middle East didn’t exist, let them solve their problems and we’ll check up on them in ten years. If we did that, then the world might be
able to get around with settling all of the other problems. The 2004 French film, District 13, posits the same solution for a crime-ridden Paris ghetto in 2010. After all, if it works in the movies, surely it can work in real life? Then Israel bombed Lebanon, and suddenly we couldn’t ignore the Middle East. After all, tens of thousands of Canadians were stranded there and needed a fast rescue. Where were Lester Pearson and his peacekeepers when you needed them? We were treated to horror stories and survival stories, diplomatic spin and missteps, all perfect fodder for a newspaper to boost flagging summer sales. But wither the other conflicts of the world? Of the 32 conflicts that Project Ploughshares listed, Israel (including the Palestinian Territories) and Iraq constituted the only two listed for the Middle East. The crisis in Lebanon added one more conflict to the list, and bumped the conflicts in the Palestinian Territories off the top radar. Afghanistan counts as one of 13 in Asia. That leaves 29 other conflicts almost completely ignored. But I stand corrected: a panoply of news media have told us about them, just not on the front page. Are these stories any less worthy? But then we risk falling into another cliché, railing against that which we cannot change. We cannot hope for peace to blanket the world. I fear that the world is too far gone for that. Our resources for survival are limited, yet our resources for war are not. And that is depressing. Perhaps this explains why we do not focus on all the conflicts. Instead, we pick one or two to act as proxies for the rest. We know that there are wars, but we can’t fix them all. nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Housing and Residences cools off
Tim Alamenciak
In efforts to encourage students to live in the Village residences, Housing and Residences set up a winter scene outside of the SLC. They also handed out freezies and water in the summer heat.
Iron Warrior gets extra issue; more than meets the eye Tim Alamenciak editor-in-chief
The engineering society (EngSoc) took steps to correct what they saw as a factually erroneous opinion article printed in the July 20 edition of The Iron Warrior. Avid readers of The Iron Warrior will find themselves treated to two issues this week. The first, Volume 27, Issue 10, is dated July 20, and the second, Volume 27, Issue 11, is dated July 25. EngSoc executives initially removed Issue 10 from the news stands. They kept it off the stands until Issue 11 had been prepared. Issue 10 remained unaltered and both issues hit the stands beside each other. The second issue was delivered as a supplement designed to give EngSoc executives and others a chance to respond to Peter Szabo’s article entitled, “The Story of an Engineering Society Rep: Why I Love EngSoc,” and Kristen Yee Loong’s “Who’s Showing The Ropes of Engineering?” Szabo’s story was critical of several aspects of EngSoc. Typically when a complaint of factual inaccuracy is launched against a publication, a correction is issued in the following publica-
tion. The correction should take equal prominence in the paper to the erroneous article and address all factual inaccuracies. Additionally, according to the CP Stylebook, a commonly accepted rulebook for journalists, “seek advice if a corrective might damage CP’s legal position or aggravate the damage caused to a potential complainant.” The EngSoc executive named numerous “libellous statements” as their reasoning for the corrective action. According to EngSoc president Jen Carroll, The Iron Warrior does not employ any legal counsel. Their source of libel advice came from another EngSoc executive currently off-stream. “We weren’t entirely sure. A lot of what we knew were the implications — we don’t know how far libel stretches.” In addition to the complaint of potential libel, EngSoc cited violations of policy. There were no specific references to lines of policy in the statement released by EngSoc; however, policy 3.3.2, under the heading of “Mission Statement,” says, “Promote Waterloo engineering outside of the university.” “We feel that we took the right
steps. The Iron Warrior policy doesn’t explain situations such as this — it doesn’t give any clear course of action. Since The Iron Warrior is the official paper of EngSoc, we were within our rights to take it away for the time we did,” said Carroll. According to the policy, Iron Warrior is indeed the official paper of EngSoc — not the official paper of the faculty of engineering or an independent body. In light of EngSoc’s actions, questions are being raised about freedom of speech within the pages of The Iron Warrior. “According to popular opinion, at best EngSoc breached its jurisdiction; at worst, EngSoc used a false pretext to pull the paper, Dubya-style,” Editor-in-chief Gabriel Chan wrote in a preface to Issue 11. Unfortunately, Chan was unavailable for further comment by press time. The two issues of The Iron Warrior combine to make what EngSoc puts forth as the whole picture. EngSoc took an alternative route towards correctives resulting in a severe outcry from several of the paper’s volunteer staff. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
news
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
SFPR raps up term with counsel Wasim Parkar imprint staff
The Students For Palestinian Rights (SFPR) held their last event of the term, July 20, when they invited well-known human rights activist Susan Howard Azzeh, and Scarlet Quiroz, Vice-Counsel of Venezuela in Toronto to speak on Globalization and Imperialism in Latin America and the Middle East: The common struggle of different people. Howard spoke first, and presented her analysis of the current crisis in the Middle East by looking at it through the context of an imperialist agenda in the region. She said that the U.S. has always backed Israel unanimously because of her strategic alliance in the oil rich region of the Middle East. While Howard was speaking, a slideshow was taking place in the background simultaneously, displaying pictures of Palestinian children being tortured by Israeli soldiers. ‘‘The reasons for pictures of children being tortured by soldiers, is due to the fact that children suffer the most in times of war,’’ said Howard. Howard also stated her unhappiness with the international community’s reaction to the recent attacks on Lebanese territory by the Israeli Army. There was substantial criticism reserved for Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. “Harper’s claims that Israel’s response is a measured response, has given Israel more authority to con-
tinue the attacks,” said Howard. “He was more upset by the Israeli soldiers captured, than Canadian Arabs being killed,” she continued. According to Howard, Harper isn’t taking the concerns of the huge Canadian Arab population, casually dismissing statements and requests from the Canadian Arab Foundation.
“[Harper] was more upset by the Israeli soldiers captured, than Canadian Arabs being killed” — Susan Howard Azzeh human rights activist In addition, Howard also presented a historical perspective of Canada’s involvement in the peace process, claiming Canada has never been an honest broker in the peace process. She cited former Prime Minister Lester Pearson as an example. Pearson was the first leader in the West, who suggested giving Palestinian land for the creation of Israel. As well as political support from Canadian governments, many recreational facilities in Israel, such as Canada Park, have been built with the help of tax-deductible money from Canada. Furthermore, Howard expressed her disappointment to the way that the
Canadian media has covered the issue, often painting the Arabs as villains, and barely highlighting Israel’s mistakes and deficiencies. For example, one rarely sees any discussion or analysis in the media of how Israel practices apartheid policies, by treating every non-Jewish person as a second-class citizen. If one wants to get an objective and unbiased media approach to the crisis, Howard suggests looking on the Internet, which is the best source of information from all over the world, covering different opinions. After Howard finished speaking, Scarlet Quiroz, the Vice-Counsel of Venezuela in Toronto, spoke about Imperialism in Latin America. She especially concentrated on how the U.S. has never supported the wishes of South American people. She cited examples of how the U.S. carried out secretive operations in Venezuela, Bolivia, Colombia and other Latin American countries, despite the governments being elected democratically by the people. The U.S. and the West have always applied a self-serving agenda in the Americas, advancing their own economic interests ahead of the genuine wishes of the people who have wanted leaders that represent them, and respect their unique values and traditions, according to Quiroz. Quiroz also took the time to weigh in on the current situation in the Middle East. “We exact that the Palestinian and Lebanese people have the right to exercise sovereignty over their territory, and to assert their independence in the face of any invading army,” said
Mayar El-Khatib
Vice-Counsel of Venezuela in Toronto addresses students at UW. Quiroz. She continued, “We insist that governments who pride themselves on being democratic and peace-loving, declare themselves against the terrorist actions that Israel is committing, with a barbaric luxury, against the Palestinian
and Lebanese people.” Vice Counsel Quiroz’s statements were translated from Spanish to English by Agnes Bijos. wparkar@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Classifieds Campus Bulletin HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Just n’ Pita needs part-time deli counter servers. Please bring resume to 150 Philip Street, University Court Plaza, Waterloo, during business hours.
HOUSING
Available now – two-bedroom apartment at $900 per month and threebedroom house at $950 plus utilities per month. Available September 2006 – three-bedroom apartment at $395 per room, two-bedroom apartment at $900, five-bedroom apartment at $350 inclusive per room, five-bedroom house at $425 plus utilities per room (on Hazel St) and three-bedroom house at $950 plus utilities per month. For more info call 519-746-6327 or 519-501-1486. Premium three-bedroom townhouse unit in a professionally managed student complex. Perfect for students, close to UW campus. Available May and September 2006. Call Perry now at 519-746-1411 for all the details and to set up a showing. Ask us about your signing bonus and gifts! Three-and four-bedroom apartments available September 2006. A 15-minute walk to UW. Sixplex is located at 282 Erb Street, with a 12-month lease, $385 per room, utilities included. Building is very clean, laundry on main floor and parking lot. Don’t miss out – call Shadde at 519-7474711 or e-mail 282erb@gmail.com. Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conve-
niently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. Four, eight and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Perry at 519746-1411 for more details. September 1 – house for rent, $385/ month/bedroom. Seven bedrooms at Columbia and Hazel, on #7 bus route. Newly renovated bath, two bathrooms, two kitchens. Ideal for grops of three and four. Call 519-5746886.
UPCOMING Sunday, September 17, 2006 Local Motion – car free week – fourth annual Car-Free Day Festival will be held in Victoria Park 12-5 p.m. and then again on Thursday, September 21 from 12-2 p.m. at University of Waterloo. Local Motion is a celebration of sustainable transportation and healthy community living; bring the whole family and enjoy live music, crazy bikes, kids activities, bike maintenance workshops and more!
SERVICES
Proofreading – editing: Assignments, theses, letters, statements. We correct grammar and improve logic and flow. Onscreen, fast, professional. 30 years experience. Full details at www. checkedit.com. E-mail checkedit@ cogeco.ca. Phone (905) 335-3192. Essays, papers, thesis and grant proposals edited for grammar, spelling and style. Reasonable rates. Technical writer and published author – bluepencil@rogers.com.
FOR SALE Two office items for sale – Xerox 5614 b/w desktop model photocopier for sale. Great for home office or small workgroup office. Reduces and enlarges. Two paper trays and a bypass tray, 14 copies/minute, four spare toners included in price. Photocopier needs its paper feeder fixed. $650 cash or cheque. Toshiba TF231 fax machine in excellent working condition – great for home office or small workgroup office. Uses thermal roll paper, one-touch and abbreviated dialing, automatic and manual reception modes, automatic and manual redialling, easy operation, copying and polling features, transmission reports and security transmission. Six 98’ paper rolls included. $100 cash or cheque. View both items at Imprint SLC room 1116 or call 888-4048.
ANNOUNCEMENTS Waterloo Regional Children’s Museum have lots of summer events happening from their site at UW’s July 1 festivities to summer day camps. For more information call 519-749-9387 ext 239 or website www.wrcm.ca or email info@wrcm.ca.
SERVICES
i-TUTOR is a FREE student resource. We encourage learning and promote education within Ontario. Our website resource helps tutees find qualified tutors. Tutors are university students who are independent of this organization and have their own rate and schedule. http://www. i-tutor.ca.
VOLUNTEER Volunteer Action Centre Recruitment has the following volunteer positions open: Work with seniors or people with disabilities. For more information contact K-W Friendship Group for Seniors at 519-742-6502 or info@k-wfrienship.org. Rare Organics needs produce preparation volunteers, Thursdays from now to October from 1:30-4:30 or 4 to 8 p.m. Call Rachel at 519-650-9336,
ext 122 or e-mail rahull@thisisraretome.ca. Gardener needed at Homer Watson House & Gallery. For more information call 519-748-4377 or email development@homerwatson. on.ca. K-W Special Olympics is looking for a fundraiser. Contact Marilyn at 519-746-1881 for an interview. KW Seniors Day Program is looking for volunters who like to have fun and make a senior’s day special. Call Deanne at 519-893-1609 or e-mail deanne@k-wseniorsdayprogram. ca. Parents for Community Living requres an individual to do gardening and minor landscaping work for one or two group homes in the K-W area. Call Brenda at 519-742-5849 for more information. City of Waterloo has volunteer opportunities for “student welcome bag assemblers,” August 9 to 18 from 1:30 to 4:00 p.m. Call Wendy at 519888-6488 for more information.
ONGOING WEDNESDAYS Starting May 24, from 7 to 9 a.m. at the Charitable Research Reserve, 1679 Blair Road, Cambridge, presents “Warbler Watching” with Bill Wilson. Binoculars, appropriate dress and footwear for early mornings required. Rain or shine but will be cancelled during a thunderstorm. Register early by calling Rachel 519650-9336, ext 122. Join “Artist In Residence,” Julia Horgan, for a fun art lesson and learn a new art trick or two from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and Sundays from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. www.wrcm.ca/whatshappening/ programs or 519-749-9387, ext 239. THURSDAYS Join in on “Artist in Residence” series at the Homer Watson House &
Gallery for the months of July and August. Call 519-748-4377, ext 224 for info.
FINANCIAL AID August 2006 Stop by the Student Awards Office to see if your Ontario Access Grant cheques are here. OSAP deadlines: August 3 – recommended last submission date for continuation of Interest-Free Status Forms for this term. August 5 – recommended last submission date to pick up loans for this term. August 11 – absolute last day to pick up loans for this term. For further info visit the website http:// safa.uwaterloo.ca/ or second floor Needles hall, ext 3583.
THE DRINK
There was this guy at a bar, just looking into his drink. He has been doing this for at least an hour. Then this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes his drink and finishes it. The poor man starts to cry. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking, I’ll buy ya another one.” “No, it not that. This day is the worst day of my life. First, I’m late for work and my boss fires me, then I leave the building to discover that my car is stolen. I phone the police and they do nothing. I call a taxi and realize that my wallet/credit cards are at home. I finally get home and then find my wife is in bed with the gardener, so I then come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!”
Friday, may 19, 2006
opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Opinion Editor: Tom Levesque
i m print university of waterloo student newspaper
Friday, July 28, 2006 — Vol. 29, No. 7 Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Tim Alamenciak editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Kirill Levin Cover Editor, Irshad Mulla Photo Editor, Steven Preisman Graphics Editor, Claire Mousseau Web Editor, Jess Sanson Systems Administrator, Nick Ranchev Sys. Admin. Assistant, vacant Lead Proofreader, Shivaun Hoad Proofreader, Leslie Havens Proofreader, Kim Morrison Production Staff Kaitlin Huckabone, Tim Foster, Steven R. McEvoy, Margie Mansell Office Staff Distribution, Gillian Flanagan Distribution, Amy Pfaff Sales Assistant, Adam Rauf
Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Jeff Anstett president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Adam Gardiner vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Jacqueline McKoy treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Wasim Parkar secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Darren Hutz staff.liasion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next board meeting: TBA
Imprint set to improve Students will benefit from web team, editorial staff and board of directors’ planning
Imprint has been a hurricane of activity all term. A committee has been working on redesigning our website, the editorial board has been revising editorial standards and the board of directors has continued to grow Imprint as a business. The website redesign committee has been furiously working on rebuilding everything to do with Imprint’s website. They are not simply taking a chamois to the face, they are taking it apart and rebuilding from scratch. This volunteer committee is implementing features to increase the interactivity of Imprint’s website, including the return of a comment and discussion system. In keeping with the University of Waterloo’s spirit of innovation, Imprint is working on a completely revolutionary framework to update and maintain the website. Rather than manually
copying all the content, things will be done automatically, leaving more time for the web editor to improve various sections of the website and a guarantee that you, the students, will have your online edition on time. Thanks to the hard work of many volunteers, the dated purple and grey website will be much prettier and more interactive. Yes, we’re trying to put the Sudoku and crossword online as well. The board of directors will be taking more steps to be held accountable to the student population. President Jeff Anstett made it his goal for his tenure as a director to become more open to the student population. The board will continue to support the initiatives of Imprint and the student population. I have been working towards several goals for the past term. I have strived to improve the quality of the paper, establish a trained editorial board to welcome next term’s new editors and to create a methodology to train writers. I have set more goals for this coming term. It’s only appropriate that you, the students and stakeholders of this organization, are privy to those. First and foremost, there will be no factual
errors in the fall term. I will strive to prevent any and all factual errors and, if any occur, explain them heartily. A newspaper is an organization built on trust. Why bother reading something if you can’t trust the reporting? I will also be stepping up my open door (or rather, no door, as the case is with my office) policy. Like politicians say during elections, I will be bringing my office to you. But the difference is that I’m not running in an election. I genuinely want to know what the students think of Imprint — not for votes. And as everyone knows, the only way to find out is to ask. We will also be ramping up the contests in the paper with more prizes and finally running our much-loved photography contest after a one-year hiatus. And finally, previously, the reader survey has been done once per year. The results were meaningless at worst and funny at best. The most recent reader survey told us a great deal about how the paper is perceived and where we can improve. I will be implementing guidelines to run this survey every term and gauge the results. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Country bar proposal piques thought
My good friend Natalie coerced me into patronizing the Stampede Ranch a few weeks ago. While I was trying my best to have fun at a country bar while being designated driver, I witnessed one of the most “aww-worthy” moments of my life. The local country radio station was running a contest while we were there and called up a young couple for one of the prizes. The DJ told the boy that he needed to ask his girlfriend a skill-testing question in order for them to win the grand prize. Amidst her pleasant but firm protest that she knew “nothing about country music,” he assured her it was an “easy one” and proceeded to get down on one knee and pulled a ring out of his pocket. Screaming and cheering along with every other female in the building, I asked myself, “Why?” I have never really considered marriage a vi-
POSTSCRIPT
able option for myself and find it a pointless and outdated practice, so why was I still so excited by this sickeningly sweet grand gesture? In the past, women were literally owned by their husbands, and before that, their fathers. Now, in the age of birth control, paternity testing and one-night stands, what does marriage really stand for? I have never really believed that someone should need a piece of paper to confirm and validate their relationship. Why should you need a piece of paper to promise that you will love and trust someone that you should already love and trust? I think that Owen Wilson said it best in Wedding Crasher’s when he described marriage as “two kids who like to $#*% trying to make it honest.” Yet, despite my views, I still found myself squealing along with the rest of the girls, “Omigod! That’s sooo cute!” So despite my feelings that marriage has gone the way of the dodo — or should at least — I still get caught up in the “happily ever after” ideas about marriage that have been programmed into me since childhood. That couple that had the really cute engagement, who’s to say they won’t be bitter and disenchanted with each other and their sexless
shame of a marriage in a year or so? According to StatsCan, just over 150,000 weddings take place each year, and just under half that many divorces — with numbers steadily increasing. Why not save the money and choose to stay with one another, as opposed to staying with someone because of some vows you took only god-knows-how-long-ago tell you that you should? My problems with marriage aren’t necessarily with the idea that two people are choosing to spend the rest of their lives together; they’re more with what marriage represents. It represents an archaic, medieval view on relationships that represent a form of ownership more than love. When monogamous marriage first came about, most people didn’t live past the age of thirty. So maybe, since life expectancy rates are now more than twice that, we are meant to spend our lives with more than one person. So good luck to the couple wherever they end up, but maybe they should rethink whether they are staying together because of genuine love and affection — or because of an archaic vow taken once upon a time. acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Graham Moogk-Soulis
opinion
Individualism is dangerous
I was moved by a story this week of a Good Samaritan in Toronto, of all places, who found several thousand dollars while taking a walk and actually turned it in to police. What percentage of the world’s population would do something like that? Personally, I know I would, as I believe passionately in an intertwined, united society, and that God is always watching, but if I were a homeless person or in dire financial straits, I struggle to fathom how I would proceed. Toronto police are asking the owner of the money to come pick it up, and whether it was found in something or the amount of cash is not being released to ensure the rightful owner is found. The finder asked not to be identified, but if no one claims the money after three months, that person will get to keep it.
Feds VP thanks students for Fed Bus support
To the editor, The Federation of Students would like to thank all the students who took time out of their day to show support for the Fed Bus at the Student Transportation of Canada (STC) licence application hearing. At the hearing, the Feds were required to show “necessity” and “public support” for the Fed Bus service.
This occurrence reflects well on Canadian society; I suspect people would be far less likely to return the money in less peaceful and united cities like Atlanta, London or Moscow. I am reminded of a survey conducted late last year about which Canadian politician would be most likely to return a lost wallet. Jack Layton of the New Democratic Party easily won, with 27 per cent saying he would return a wallet. Stephen Harper scored 19 per cent, with Paul Martin at 18 per cent, and Gilles Duceppe of the Bloc Québécois trailed with 8 per cent. Sadly, 14 per cent of Canadians said none of them would return the wallet. The poll results are unfortunate not only because they show Canadians don’t really trust their political leaders but also because they display the naiveté of our country’s citizens. Me, I know every leader would always return a wallet, not because they give a rat’s ass about the person who lost it, unless they’ve got wads of money to donate to the party, but because, jeeze, what a fantastic photo-op! What’s funny is that it would work nicely; the PR stunt would no doubt cause a spike in that politician’s support, at least in
the short term. I’d like to think most Canadians would return a wallet — or a stash of cash — found on the street, but honestly, I don’t believe they would. Thankfully for the person who foolishly misplaced their cash in Toronto, a magnificently Good Samaritan has them covered. The spread of American-style revivalism and evangelical Christianity, coupled with the decline of the Catholic church and liberal denominations, has fostered the development of individualism — an emphasis on personal salvation rather than working for the betterment of mankind or helping those less fortunate. A more inclusive, tolerant society with strong social programs and good government is just the key to solving the ills of society — just look at Scandinavia, where there is far more social peace than in North America. With the Harper Conservatives leading every national poll in Canada (what is going on?), we need to do something quick to wake Canadians up to the dangers of individualism and a fractured society that conservative types love to promote.
If STC is denied its application by the Ontario Highway Transport Board (OHTB), the Fed Bus service will cease operations on July 31st, 2006 in compliance with a previous OHTB ruling. Hundreds of students will then have to find alternative transportation to the GTA, London and Hamilton during the weekends. However, if the scheduled-service licence is granted, then the Fed Bus will continue to operate as it has been for the past 20 years. We would like to thank students for all their support in this matter, and we sincerely hope that we can continue to provide this invaluable service to the student community at the University of Waterloo.
Laurel Creek not exactly a conservation area
I recently made a stay at Laurel Creek Conservation Area only to find it was anything but a conservation area. In fact, there are entire sections of the forest clear-cut off the beaten path. It irks me that we paid $36 to reserve a campsite in a place that calls itself a preserved landscape when in actuality there are entire pockets of deforestation. I won’t be returning and I encourage others not to either if that is the way the park is going to run itself.
— Renjie Butalid Feds VP Admin. & Finance
— Alex Eyler Alumnus
mjohnson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
To the editor,
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
Canadian identity remains an important topic
When I first came up with the idea to write for Imprint a year and a half ago, I was completely void of expectations. Although I regret it now, my experience with the newspaper at that point rarely extended past my one appearance in Campus Question. I might scan the news clippings, gaze past the opinion columns or take in the odd special interest article and sports headline which combined may have taken less than 10 minutes out of my day. My original pitch went something along the lines of, “a cynical and sarcastic look at Canadian issues or international issues from a Canadian perspective.” The required example columns I quickly fired off, ones that were meant to give a flavour to the aforementioned description and that seemed reasonably humourous at the time, now appear funny to me for an entirely different reason. The first article, published under the original title of Ask Questions Later, implying that my story was the shot prior to it metaphorically speaking, dealt with the uninspiring inukshuk someone was compromised into choosing as Vancouver’s Olympic emblem. From there, it seemed highs and lows came with the seasons. For those around last fall, much was made about a trilogy on nationalism and Quebec separation, where the intended message was awkwardly hidden. Thankfully for both my editors and me, articles like these were few and far between. For the most part, my articles have attempted to highlight topics that struck a chord with me in one way or another. The Live 8 concerts last July, the beginning of the hockey
EUCHRED
season in October and Prime Minister “Steve” Harper’s ineptitudes as leader of our government have been some of my favourites. But through it all, Canadian culture was the theme closest to my heart. On at least three occurrences I posed the question, “what does it mean to be Canadian?” Seven words that are so simple yet have the potential to mean so much. To examine Canadian culture, we first have to look at the world around us if we wish to even begin to answer that almost-rhetorical question. We are a cultural spectrum, a microcosm of the planet Earth, with a wealth of natural resources and collective national values captured in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. We are as lucky a group of people as there are on this planet. But all this potential will be wasted without a vibrant, sustainable vision for Canada — one that goes beyond tax cuts for the wealthy and tax increases for the poor. We have an opportunity, a responsibility to do more with what we have; not only for the people of Canada, but also for the rest of the world. With turmoil brewing in the Middle East, extreme poverty in Africa and a life-changing environmental threat in global warming, we have placed our planet, as well as our inhabitation of it, in serious danger. All of us will one day arrive at an age where we will be asked to take leadership roles; the responsibility of solving these issues will be placed squarely upon our shoulders. Let us not back away from this challenge, but rather come together as Canadians, as citizens of the world, and tackle it head on with dignity and respect, knowing no bounds. This and this alone is what I wish to leave as my legacy at Imprint. Thank you for lending your eyes and ears — I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my work as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. kruch@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Margie Mansell and Darren Hutz
opinion
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
Heramb bids farewell one last time So I was watching The Learning Channel on Sunday and noticed they have all these shows on fat people. We’re not talking your run of the mill fatso. We’re talkin’ some serious forklift action. This guy didn’t just eat a couple extra Oreos. Mofo ate the factory! Anyway, the show was on a dude who weighed 1000 pounds. Doctors were going on about how there’s a hormone in the brain that tells you if you’re full. This poor individual was apparently hormone deficient. Shiat, even a Sumatran Rhino knows when he’s full. Herambone is pleased to know this world’s fattest man lost 400 pounds. He should join the WWE and challenge the Great Khali to a ladder match. For lack of a better transition, here’s a special installment of the Harem: The Final Chapter where I make fun of everything using simple words that immigrants can understand. So I had my birthday recently and we crashed an Adult Education graduation party at Molly’s. No shit? They were fine chaps and gave us all shirts to wear. Then my buddy “Random Pole” hits on the waitress. The waitress asks him what he studies (he’s a freshly graduated engineer), and he tells her that. The waitress responds, “Where’s your iron ring?” The dumb-ass left it at home. Picture this: we got a drunk Polish dude who is naturally kinda stupid looking with beer spilt on his adult education shirt telling the
waitress he’s an engineer. Apparently she had a “boyfriend.” Moving on … I was having a beer with Random Pole at McMullen’s when this dark guy walks in. Dude’s wearing a white fur jacket, monster bling on his ears, a freaking diamond ring, and Pumas. Everyone figures he’s a suave black rapper. Heck, he looked like one of P-Diddy’s entourage. But alas, he wasn’t fooling Herambone. That dude was Sri Lankan! Maybe he could be like Loki the Trickster and trick all my Caucasian comrades into thinking he was a brother but Herambone knows a Sri when he sees one. Although some Sri’s can be darker than a Rorschach ink blot, it’s the subtle stains that give them away. A Sri dressed up like Fiddy Cent is sorta like Tang served instead of Tropicana — it tastes alright for five minutes, but then you realize it’s fucking Tang. But that’s enough about Sris. Herambone loves the summer because of this little equation: girls + skimpy outfits = brown fist of approval. You have some of these Fabutan chicks that gotta have the uber tan. They’re always sun tanning in the engineering grass giving mathies and engineers boners. The opposite end-of-thespectrum are the ghosts. They’re whiter than the cast of Friends. They need a tan more than R. Kelly needs a urinal. And then we had my convocation last month. Six years is a long time to spend in Waterloo. You get used to the
shitty smell, the funny looking locals, the atrocious cover at ghetto bars. Waterloo becomes home. Then one day you say farewell. Alright ladies, let’s not beat around the bush. If you would like to hook up, drop me a Facebook message: “Heramb Bone.” I’m looking for a short-term relationship, say three days. We’ll keep the conversation to a minimum. Strong girls that can help move my sofa to Toronto are an added bonus. It is now that I question whether things could have been done differently at Waterloo. Should I have treated this person better? Copied off Chinese people more? Found myself some wives? Nah. I wrote a poem instead: I came to Waterloo with a glimmer in my eye. Because that morning I downed a bottle of rye. My first steps on campus, I felt like That ‘70s Show’s Fez Before I saw all the rice cookers in Rez. My friends at Waterloo were sincerely dependable. But then I realized most of them were expendable. I gave Waterloo my mind, body and soul, I was incredibly devoted, like a stripper to her pole. Waterloo is forever in my heart, Can’t get it out like a constipated fart. — Heramb Ramachandran
Canadian Forces needs to improve its LGBT policy
Considering the current upheaval and unrest spreading across the globe, it is no real wonder that the military is a hot topic within the U.S. and Canada. While much is currently being made about the woeful preparedness and general state of Canada’s own armed forces, there is also plenty of talk about other problems within its ranks.
The U.S. military has, by far, the most well known LGBT policy of any armed forced on the face of the planet, thanks to its catchphrase: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” It’s an asinine policy, really… but then, that seems to be par for the course regarding anything the U.S. military is currently involved in. There’s more to it beyond “don’t ask, don’t tell,” of course. The official policy also includes protection for the LGBT service members from being harassed or investigated by their superiors or other members, extending the well-known phrase to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue, Don’t Harass.” Under this policy nearly 750 military personnel were discharged from
the military in 2005 alone, almost 400 of which were from the Army. This policy has also seen 20 Arabic translators and 6 Persian translators discharged from the military, two languages where it is exceptionally difficult to find translators. And all this while the U.S. continues its warmongering within the Middle East, continually missing recruitment targets and increasing the lengths of service members’ tours to fill the need for soldiers on the ground in their ever-expanding “War on (Insert Abstract Concept Here).” The real question is why? Why is it really a problem for gay, bi-sexual or lesbian people to serve in the U.S. military? Are these men and women, who continuously face death and bombs and explosions and bullets on a daily basis without fear, truly that afraid of someone who’s attracted to people of the same sex? Perhaps Jon Stewart is right: “Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, ‘Who’d you call a faggot?’” Within our own military, this policy doesn’t exist. Since 1992, queer people have been allowed to serve openly within the Canadian Armed Forces after an outright ban was lifted. Sadly, however, this doesn’t mean that everything within our own military is all sunshine and polka dots.
The Calgary Sun recently obtained internal complaints by gay service members through a Freedom of Information Request. “I am part of a same-sex common-law couple within the Canadian Forces, and after declaring common-law status, I found that my situation is very common across the Canadian Forces,” the author wrote, however they also noted that “…many couples prefer to remain in silence about their relationship and lifestyle” due to the fact that many gay and lesbian service members continue to receive “negative” reactions to their sexual orientation. “From personal experience, I know there are young soldiers who feel they don’t belong, and there are no resources within the military community or the Family Resource Centre to reach out to them,” the author states. The Canadian Forces aren’t doing a terrible job, of course — they have a strict anti-discrimination policy, and procedures have been in place to marry same-sex couples within its ranks even before the Martin government “officially” legalized the practice. But the situation is not as good as it could be. The Canadian Forces needs to make sure its queer personnel feel welcomed and provide services to allow them to move seamlessly into their roles, defending our country and our citizens abroad. gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Bar Flies
Ian Blechschmidt
Imprint
10
How far would you go to skip an exam? By Irshad Mulla
“Fake a death certificate.” Dejan Veselinovic 1B mechatronics engineering
“I don’t need to skip an exam. I steal them.” Mihir Shah and Faraz Warsi 2B enviromental engineering 2B science
“Breaking my hand on the bathroom stall.” Meighan Bell
“Stage an international incident.” Palak Trivedi
“Start my own religion, and say its against my religion to write an exam.” Han Xu
“Fake a seizure in the middle of the exam.” Kim Lam
“I would hit my face on the brick wall.” Andrew Wright
“I would fake my car accident. With a cast, pictures and groans.” Blake Edwards
4A social work
1B computer engineering
3B biochemistry
1B computer engineering
1B computer engineering
3B economics
Across 1. In shape 4. Hustle along 9. Steal 14. DNA genetic transmitter 15. Make happy 16. Bee by-product 17. Question 18. Goldfinger’s first name 19. Card game misspelled 20. Unneccessary 22. Shouts 23. Rally slogans 24. Parodies (2 words) 26. Sicilian volcano 27. Jumps over 30. Cube of chance 31. Express discontent 33. Controversial shock jock 35. Curdled white cheese (2 words) 38. Top male 39. For each 40. Canadian songstress Moore 41. Change 42. Semi-aquatic jumper 46. Ariel Sharon’s nationality 49. Italian composer 50. Floral leaf 51. On a river bank 54. Baseball gloves 55. Related to the ear 56. Works better if you break it 57. Group of eight 58. Very light brown 59. US health institutes 60. Russian monarchs 61. Worth something
Friday, July 28, 2006
62. Child’s plaything Down 1. Home of cheese and wine 2. Slip in 3. Open a guest room (2 words) 4. Newfoundland touchy subject 5. Setting for Mrs Peacock 6. Used in rowing 7. Singer Redding, sitting on the dock of the bay 8. Detective in slang 9. West Wing actor Martin 10. Past tense of will 11. Involves 12. Sweat 13. Look over 21. Lack of 22. Referendum vote of support 24. Coin money 25. Indonesian penny 27. Health resort
28. Rwandan capital 29. Incompetent 32. Basque terror group 33. Dry champagne 34. Move unsteadily 35. Dickens, Byron and Bronte 36. Gilbert and Sullivan genre 37. Not him 38. French friend 41. The whole thing 43. Everything east of the Bosporus 44. Leisurely tempo 45. Small boat 47. Cleverer 48. Not wests 49. Manservant 51. Regrets 52. Fleur-de-lis 53. Court attendant 54. French word 55. Arabic cloth woven from goat hair
F eatures Mother Nature’s piece workers 12
Imprint
Friday, july 28, 2006
features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Features Editor: Kinga Jakab
Chris Reid
Tree planting veteran Richard Mayich places a dense pod into mineral soil on his piece of land. He’s in full planting gear — hard hat, high visibility vest, boots, shovel, and planting bags. Kinga Jakab imprint staff
Did you know that Al Gore is predicting the end of humankind to be in about 50 years? Thanks, Al Gore. Thanks for letting me know. I don’t drive, I don’t litter, I don’t stand in the Arctic Circle holding a heat lamp — what exactly would you like me to do? Luckily, Canada may breed the solution — a rare species of individuals known as tree-planters that rescue and restore the land where trees have been harvested or destroyed by fires. Fourth year environmental and resource studies student and third year veteran planter, Chris Reid, planted roughly 150,000 trees alone during this planting season — does that count as saving the world? Only time will tell. Until then, tree planting seems to be the trend amongst university students that care about Canada and are looking to make some cold, hard cash. Reid says that a rookie planter in Northern Ontario will earn about $150 a day and a vet will earn about $250. Reid’s employer, a relatively small reforestation company in northern Ontario, employed 23 planters last year that earned over $10,000 in 43 spring planting days. Averaging a mere 8 cents a tree, tree-planters seemingly possess capabilities beyond those of you and I.
Rising at wee hours of the morning, the known as returning to the area where all their vets — planters who have at least one season saplings are and restocking their bags. For every under their hard hats — each average about six feet, one tree must be planted — roughly 3,000 trees a day for every 45-day season. By 2000 trees a hectare. day, they work their block of land with duct I haven’t quite done that math, but it taped fingers, bending every few seconds to sounds rough — and it is — but Reid says it’s plant their pods. By night, they relax and refuel an easy job because it’s not stressful. “It may with beer and pot. be physically strenuous, but when you’ve been That‘s right. “After a typical planting doing it for a while it just comes naturally,” he day,” Reid says, assures. “Anyone would If the chance to go for beer and a earn reefers of money “People here don’t want to (relax, just jargon for doob.” Reid says that work in the city, in an office. the refrigerated trucks in a circumferthat deliver the pods) They want to experience ence of 2.73 meisn’t motivation enough tres, planters must to work hard then daily something new and make plant between 12 camp costs will be. Reid and 13 good, usepaid $25 a day in camp cash.” able trees. “A good costs, which include Chris Reid, veteran tree planter pod — a sapling or cooked meals, packing baby tree — is one a lunch everyday, and with good density, basic facilities. “Camps planted in mineral soil,” he affirms. About 300 costs are easily worked down by planting a lot of trees fit into each of the two or three planting trees,” says Reid. bags that every planter lugs around their land However, with Reid’s company, planters — or piece, in planting jargon. “Planters go that wear their safety gear every day and never back to their cache to bag-up about every 45 get caught without them are relieved of the minutes per 300 trees,” he says — otherwise camp costs at the end of the season — a nice
exchange for planters’ safety. Since planters spend everyday working with a group of people and one day off chilling with those same people for the entirety of the season they tend to become very close. Each crew consists usually of 12 people and one crewboss. Although planting trees is usually a solo mission, “sometimes you work in partners — when you have the patience to work around each other and can make it as efficient as possible,” says Reid. Planters end up being alone on their piece for most of the day. “It’s tough,” says Reid. “It takes a big mental toll on you. But you do what you have to do.” It sounds enough to make one mad. Working alone all day, everyday, with only your thoughts. And the sun. And making love to nature while earning tons of money. Reid sums it up as doing it “for the experience and money. To get outdoors. People here don’t want to work in the city, in an office. They want to experience something new and make cash.” Regardless of motivation, tree planting is undeniably a positive, helpful and ungloomy step towards securing our future — something I know I’m craving to hear about. kjakab@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
features
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
13
When and where not to take advice There are two places you need to learn never to take advice from. One is from movies and the other is clichés. I’ll explain briefly why they’re bad sources before I delve into the more pressing matter, how these untruths can affect an otherwise healthy relationship. Movies are a problem because they are constructed to evoke certain emotions. Those looking for fairytale romances will often say, “That’s not how it’s done in the movies.” And although, to a certain extent, we lift our sense of reality from art, keep in mind that art imitates life, not vice versa. Art is when a reality is changed to reflect a deeper truth than experienced initially. In short, life isn’t supposed to be like the movies, which is why we go and see them in the first place. Clichés are an even bigger problem because they have an air of authority to them. By clichés, I mean those witty
little sayings that seem to dictate our moral compass. The problem with clichés is that you can’t simply blame Hollywood executives, sellout writers and actors — who are paid for their looks and not their brains — for the crap. Clichés sound authoritative. They sound definitive. However, as I’ve gone over in past columns, for every cliché you find, you’ll find another equally witty cliché to contradict it. So now allow me to get back to the larger problem. Some of the clichés and movie moments admonished above, play significant roles in how people I know judge their relationships. So let me try to break down a few barriers. For anyone who has ever said, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with,” please get yourself out of this horrible shell of a relationship. You are doing no favours to the poor sap that probably has genuine feelings for you. You can’t learn to love someone. And if you try, and if you think you’re succeeding, you’re in for one hell of a surprise when you wake up at 50-years-old and your life has passed you by, waiting for you to learn happiness. Everybody in the world deserves a chance to make him or herself happy. No one is guaranteed happiness, but
that is no excuse to settle for anything less than you deserve. For anyone who has ever said, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” please stop doing your partner the ‘favour’ of making him or her fonder of you. Keep in mind the opposing adage, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Who’s to say that while you’re away, trying to force sentiment, they aren’t forgetting just how wonderful you are? Purposely staying away from someone you love in order to try to evoke some sort of sentiment is just plain loony. Obviously situations arise where proximity becomes a problem. At a university, especially one with a coop program like UW’s, long distance relationships are inevitable. They are to be taken in stride, viewed as obstacles to overcome. To perceive this situation as an opportunity to increase fondness is a dangerous thought that will inevitably tax the already fragile conditions of a long distance relationship. It’s a challenge that can be overcome, but it’s no picnic. For anyone who has ever said “It’s better to be with anybody than to be alone,” please realize you will probably never find happiness. I know it’s harsh, but I’m in a harsh mood. One adage that I can buy into, somewhat, is that you’ll never be happy in a relationship if you aren’t happy alone first.
I believe that we, as humans, are constantly torn by the struggle between wanting companionship on a higher level and wanting independence of thought and spirit. To want companionship is natural. To fear the thought of being alone in your twenties is a serious miscalculation of your priorities. You must learn to love yourself as an independent person before you can ever expect anyone to love you for who you are. By saying you need another person to justify your existence is to not give yourself enough credit. For anyone who has ever said, “Opposites attract,” please take a step back before you end up hating the one you’re with. I believe that the “opposites attract” adage comes from the worry about two people having enough in common. I think that this is something to be applauded, not feared. A fair and balanced relationship is one where the two people have differing views, but similar values, different hobbies, but similar ethics. If an incredibly active and athletic person tries to date someone whose idea of cardio is working up a sweat on X-box live, they may run into problems. If a tree-hugging socialist falls in love with a Social Darwinist, they may have difficulties. If a quiet,
traditional virgin falls in love with a life-of-the-party, bros-before-hoes frat boy, they may have some qualms. Though, that’s not to say that these relationships are doomed from the start. I know many couples that are happy despite obvious hurdles. I know a Jew dating a Catholic who has never let either tradition upset their relationship. The best way to judge a relationship is not by applying movie moments and clichés, but rather by keeping an open mind and an open heart. Don’t try to find whether your relationship, your friend’s relationships or your past relationships have fit into one of these pigeonholes. Does this person make you happy? If they don’t make you completely happy, is it something you can work on or is it a crossroad? No one can change what the person they’re with is like. They can only change who they’re with. Don’t try and change yourself or your partner to fit one of these arbitrary, if not wellmeaning, ideals for a relationship. Judge your happiness and the happiness of your friends on their own merits. And most importantly, aim for happiness and not acceptance. If you are truly happy, those who wish you the best will accept it. janstett@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Giving and getting more oral must be a fair trade One of the most popular questions I seem to be asked by my readers — besides, “how big is big enough” — is “how can I get my partner to give me more oral sex?” Coincidentally, I was just talking about this issue with a friend of mine over lunch last week. We were remarking at how “funny” it is that it always seems to be the men whose wives/girlfriends won’t or can’t give them blow jobs who seem to obsess over wanting one. We also wondered if perhaps we don’t usually hear as much from women because they might be more shy about asking for more oral sex. It’s very likely that there are droves of women wandering around at this very moment, obsessing over the lack of oral sex in their lives. But I suppose that it’s not uncommon for people to want so badly what they can’t seem to get. While there are many lovely reasons why one should indulge their partner, there are a lot of reasons why someone might not want to give their partner oral sex. First, they may complain it’s uncomfortable for them, or it’s “too much work.” To quote a popular television program, “it’s called a job for a reason”. For some people, when a partner asks them for oral sex, all they picture is neck strain, a sore jaw, a numb mouth, losing feeling in their arms or legs, etc. It can be pretty uncomfortable and exhausting to bring someone to orgasm with one’s mouth. But, there are ways to make giving head less work for your partner. One
of the tricks is to make sure your things in control. Some may complain that they partner gets themselves into a good position so that they don’t cramp up. don’t feel connected to you while they do it. Yes, It also will help I know if they use they are one hand to technically steady themA comfy head-giver is a connected selves and one to you via hand to steady happy head-giver. And your genithe penis a happy head-giver is a tals, but — switching your parthands if one repeat head-giver. ner might arm gets tired, not always or both hands feel emoto steady the tionally/ hips if they are preforming on a woman. They need psychologically connected to you to be in a position where they’re going and, for many people, that connection to be comfortable and not going to is very important during sex. Sex is about being close and intimate with be off balance, tense, or cutting off circulation. It can be a surprisingly someone else (among other things), delicate procedure. and sometimes that connection is Another trick to ease oral sex lock- hard to feel when you’re “up there” jaw is to let your partner finish you having fun and they are “down there” off with their hand — the final mo- pleasuring you. You can help your partner feel ments before you orgasm can be the most arduous for your partner, who more connected to you by talking is trying their best to maintain speed, to them and making noise, let them friction, and/or suction. They might know that you like what they’re dobe more likely to give you oral more ing, say their name, tell them that often if you let them skip the rough they’re doing a good job, and that part at the end. A comfy head-giver you’re getting close. Or maybe get is a happy head-giver and a happy into a position where you can touch their body too and give them a little head-giver is a repeat head-giver. Another issue is gagging — this is pleasure — maybe go for a 69! But maybe they think they’re bad more something that happens with a man. Maybe you got over-excited once at it. This could be tricky issue, or or twice and jammed your penis down it could be easily solved by you telltheir throat or they got over-eager and ing them that they aren’t awful, that tried to take you too deep. In the end, maybe they should practise more it doesn’t always matter whose fault it — like right now. If your partner really isn’t very good, give them some is, just that it happened. Gagging can be scary, doesn’t feel guidance -— they would rather have very good and could put someone off you tell them to adjust their head than giving oral sex for a long time. find out that the reason why you took You can help your partner out half an hour to orgasm was because with this problem by not jamming they were doing something that you yourself down their throat and they found painful or distracting. Perhaps the complaints are that can help themselves out by taking it slow when they try to take you deep you don’t reciprocate. And this may be and by keeping a hand at the base true for many things: letters, birthday of your shaft to help guide and keep gifts, oral sex, dinner invitations, e-cards,
etc. Personally, I stopped giving a boyfriend back massages until he started to give me more oral — if you don’t give, you can’t always expect to receive. You may worry about unpleasant scents in your crotch region. Now I’m not talking about your regular musk, most people find that scent perfectly appetizing and arousing. Rather, I’m talking about stale crotch smell, overpowering sweaty crotch, and crazy overgrown pubes. Often, the bulk of this problem can be solved with a shower and a little grooming — but if you’re really worried about making your crotch smell tasty, you could try using something like fenugreek herbal tea, which makes you smell like maple.
Another fun thing to try is playing with food; whipped cream, chocolate sauce, nutella, flavoured lubes, ice cream, sugar, candy, fruit — heck anything tasty will do. But everyone is different and any of these reasons, or others, could be why your partner doesn’t always want to go down on you. While pressure does work to convince some people, for others it just makes them more stubborn. Hopefully some of my tips will help those of you who are wishing for more oral action; and those of you who are getting as much oral sex as you want, now you realise just how fortunate you are. ssparling@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
features
14
Ribs and cake combo
As promised to our readers — a special recipe for the summer 1 clove garlic, minced 1 tbsp sesame oil 1 tsp each: ketchup, grated ginger 1/2 tsp chili flakes 1-1/2 to 2 lb (about 700-900 g) Korean beef short ribs in thin strips, rinsed At last, tantalizing and delicious ribs from the barbie as promised dear readers — and to boot, a chocolate Guinness cake for dessert as a decadent and rich ending to satisfy any meal for this celebration-worthy, summertime season!
Directions: 1. Put all the ingredients, except for the ribs, in a large zip-lock bag. Seal it, and then shake. 2. Add the ribs to the bag and marinate in the fridge overnight. If you happen to make it the day of, wait several hours to let the Korean Ribs flavours really One notesink in. worthy differ3. Preheat ence between barbecue to ribs we usually medium-low see in grocery heat. Remove stores and the meat from Korean ribs is the marinade. that these flaGrill on direct vourful morheat, uncovsels are not cut ered, and turn into separate occasionally. bony sections 4. Continthrough the ue to grill for meat; rather, about 15-20 the rack of minutes, or Pornchai Mittongtare, sxc.hu the rib is sliced until the meat width-wise across the bones into is almost cooked to taste. small strips, about 1/4 inch thick. 5. Turn up the heat to high and brown ribs on each side for 1 Ingredients minute. 3/4 cup each: water, soy sauce, firmly packed brown sugar, rice Makes about 4-6 servings. vinegar
Chocolate Guinness Cake
What I adore about this cake is the topping because the fluffy icing simulates a whimsical appearance of frothy foam — the kind you see when enjoying a tall pint of thick, rich Guinness. The cake calls for superfine sugar, which is essentially granulated sugar but ground finely, allowing it to dissolve quickly. This sugar is the norm in Britain, but is usually found in specialty stores here at home. You can make your own superfine sugar by simply substituting, cup for cup, granulated sugar into a food processing machine for 15 seconds. Let the dust settle first before you open the lid — that is, unless you like to inhale sugar dust! Ingredients: For the cake: Butter or cooking spray for the pan 1 cup Guinness stout 10 tbsp unsalted butter 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa 2 cups of superfine/castor sugar 3/4 cup sour cream 2 large eggs 1 tbsp vanilla extract 2 cups all-purpose flour 2 1/2 tsp baking soda For the topping: 8 oz cream cheese, room temperature 1/2 cup heavy/whipping cream Directions: Preheat the oven to 350F. 1. Butter a 9- inch springform pan (or cake pan) and dust with flour, knocking the excess out. 2. In a large saucepan, over medium-low heat, combine Guinness and butter. Heat until the butter melts, and then remove. Add cocoa and sugar. Whisk to blend. 3. In a small bowl, combine sour cream, eggs, and vanilla, mix well. Add this to the Guinness mixture. 4. Add the flour and baking soda and whisk until smooth. 5. Pour mixture into the buttered pan and bake until it has risen and firm — about 45 minutes to an hour. 6.Take out of the oven and place on a wire rack to cool completely in the pan. For the topping: 1.Mix the icing sugar to break up any lumps for which I recommend using a whisk. 2. Add the cream cheese and blend until smooth. 3. Add the heavy cream and blend until the mixture is smooth and spreadable. Assembly: 1. Remove the cake from the pan and invert onto a plate. 2. Ice the top of the cake only, so that it resembles a frothy pint of Guinness. This will serve about 12 people. Enjoy! tli@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
Merchants of UW
UW offers a number of programs to help students achieve entrepeneurial dreams For most students, a diploma from UW Innovate, headed by John the University of Waterloo is an Cohen, helps out UW students and entry-ticket to a nice cushy job. For gives away very generous grants of up those students with the entrepre- to $6,000 to those with solid enough neurial spirit, however, that diploma business plans to help give them a is only worth the paper it’s printed jump-start. Despite all of these valuable on if not for the experiences that come with it. resources at one’s disposal, Ismail One such student is Omar Ismail admits that there are still many (Software Engineering, 2006), who obstacles to becoming an entrealong with his two colleagues, Amanie preneur. He spoke mainly of the Ismail (Systems Design, 2002) and opportunity cost involved, as every Erik Kalviainen (Systems Design, minute spent planning your own 2002) founded an Internet start-up business is a minute lost seeking a entitled “ProductWiki” (www.pro- job. ductwiki.com). This can be especially hard to ProductWiki is a product refer- endure after graduating and watchence and consumer website that ing all of your friends getting jobs is similar to “Froogle” in that it at well-established corporations allows for onsuch as Google and line comparison Amazon.com; there “Every minute of is always that shred shopping, but doubt in the back it is a lot more work you do, you of of your mind as to interactive for whether or not you the user. own. It’s not for are making the right It allows users access to prodyour manager or decision. uct information, But Ismail insists your boss or a advice, reviews that the key is to and a discussion brave, keep nameless share- remain forum, among courageous and to other things. holder. It gives you always strive towards The compayour goal. pride, empowerny is currently For those conenjoying a lot cerned about the ment and great of success, with costs of starting up a one of its arbusiness, with a grant motivation.” ticles on “how to Omar Ismail, co-founder, or not, Ismail says not mod an X-Box” to worry. ProductWiki even appearing In this day and in an issue of age of technology, Popular Science on July 26, 2006, called starting up a business can be cheaper “How2.0.” than ever, especially in the technolImprint recently had the chance ogy field itself. All you really need is to catch up with Omar Ismail to a computer, an Internet connection, discuss his entrepreneurial endea- time and talent. vours. If one were to be given the Ismail began the interview by choice between joining a company telling Imprint what a great place and becoming an entrepreneur, IsWaterloo is to work in. In fact, he mail replied that, without a doubt, began his career in Silicon Valley being an entrepreneur is the better before moving back to Waterloo to choice. start his business, which really speaks Even expense wise, Ismail’s greatvolumes of the draw and appeal of est expense was a $3000 trip to a the Waterloo region and its growing conference in San Diego. He spent hi-tech industry. about $1000 on an old server and $15 Ismail mentioned how resource- on a domain name. This is definitely rich Waterloo is for aspiring entre- doable, even on a student’s budget. preneurs. Students can take Larry Of course, having no debts Smith’s economics courses, which from school or OSAP was very will give them a unique perspective beneficial. of our country’s economic landscape. “Working for yourself, you Also, there are many entrepreneur- own everything. Every minute of ship courses offered at the University work you do, you own. It’s not for of Waterloo. your manager or your boss or a An organization named “Im- nameless shareholder. It gives you pact” holds a conference every year pride, empowerment and great specially designed for students, and motivation. there is also an entrepreneur club for “You may end up working more those seeking like-minded students because there is more work to do, or even potential future business but that time becomes more flexible. partners. You may be working 15 hours for The Canadian Undergrad a couple of days, but you can take Technology Conference (CUTC) a three-day weekend whenever you also comes to town on an annual please. basis, with high profile speakers “More importantly, however, you from Microsoft and Yahoo! as well. have the choice to do something that The conference also gives students you really believe in and that you are a chance to show off their own passionate about so you can look work. forward to working everyday. You There exists a local organization go into work thinking ‘what problem named Communitech that was cre- am I going to solve today that I feel ated to help small businesses, give passionate about?’” That’s not a bad way to start the seminars, put on workshops and run day. It’s definitely better than going mentorship programs. Another organization named into work thinking “What can I do Watstart holds monthly meetings led for the Institution today?” by professional lawyers, captains, etc. spresiman@imprint.uwaterloo.ca that are free of charge.
Friday, July 28, 2006
arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Arts Editor: Margaret Clark
Arts Imprint
15
Jedi’s Handbook just can’t strike back Theatre & Company cancel the last week of their first-ever summer production due to lack of audience Margaret Clark imprint staff
The weather’s fine; the streets are flush with young, impassioned students; long classes are tempered by cool evening breezes or spell-binding thunderstorms; and the geese, of course are everywhere. So why is Theatre & Company, downtown Kitchener’s main community theatre, closing its summer doors one week early? The answer is unfortunately quite simple: no one is coming out to watch their first-ever summer play, The Boy’s Jedi Handbook Part Two: The Girls Strike Back. As such, and to the disappointment of many involved (some of the cast and crew travelled from Toronto to take part in this initiative), a production that was intended to run all the way from July 13 to August 6 is now putting on its last show before this month’s end. “Although the critical and audience response to the show has been (and continues to be) fantastic,” says Arthur Loik, patron services manager for Theatre & Company, “we are finding that putting on a production in the summer for the first time in our 17year history has been a challenge.” “We have excellent talent here in the Region and we love to show it off,” production manager Anna Graham added, as some of Theatre & Company’s cast and crew have even worked at Stratford. Theatre & Company noticed a problem with community response within the first two weeks of the lively production’s run. In its present configuration, Theatre & Company has a seating capacity of 230 to 280. Historically it has had an average attendance of 150, with up to 250 for some of the Christmas shows. But for Jedi the opening night pulled in 190, the Pay-What-You-Can show reached a high of 90, and otherwise, well, it’s been slow. The problem is certainly not ticket prices, which are fairly low compared to theatre prices outside of Waterloo Region. A family of four with two children under 12, for instance, can attend this Theatre & Company production for $38. Immediate marketing initiatives also received a lot of interest, with CHYM, Oldies 1090 and KoolFM 105.3 all eager to support, if not help sponsor, the ground-breaking project. And indeed, the play itself can hardly be blamed for the lack of turnout. Receiving nothing but positive feedback from papers like The Record and The Cord (Imprint could not review it in time due to its limited summer release schedule), Jedi, written by Stephen Massicotte, is a family-friendly sequel to last year’s smash hit The Boy’s Jedi Handbook. In Jedi, Matt White, a Kitchener-Waterloo local, reprises his role as James, who relives the Star Wars adventures with his best friend The Kid (Blair Keyser, who was nominated for a Nora), until girls Kerry and Mandy (Brianne Tucker and Sarah Henriques) decide they want to join in. A lighthearted and comedic adventure, ultimately Jedi poses the epic question men have been debating without end for many a decade: girls … or sci-fi? Lori Wolf-Heffner, media relations coordinator, shed a little more light on the situation. “This was definitely a learning experience,” she explained. “The trouble was that most of our core audience didn’t know we’d started doing summer stuff. The ad campaigns start about two weeks before the actual show, but we see now more time is needed to raise awareness.” She added that Theatre & Company would
Courtesy Theatre & COMPANY
Matt White and Blair Keyzer perform in flight suits during a “make-believe” scene in The Boy’s Own Jedi Handbook Part II: The Girls Strike Back. The production was hardly off the ground when it ran into “slow summer” turbulence. definitely be trying again next year, especially after more concerted efforts to raise interest in the community; the organization is very interested in providing more family-friendly alternatives for the summer. Jedi itself tried to orient itself towards the family crowd by offering a special performance on July 16 where members of the audience could dress up as their favourite sci-fi character (within or outside of the Star Wars universe). Theatre & Company’s children’s summer camp also sought to emphasize the production’s Star Wars theme by involving
the children in activities from the show itself, including acting out whole scenes from Massicotte’s creation. Theatre & Company’s regular season starts again in September 7 with Barefoot in the Park, a Neil Simon comedy and the most recent addition to Theatre & Company’s staple “Experience” series. Barefoot in the Park runs until October 7, after which the Theatre & Company season continues with Mourning Dove by Emil Cher, which runs from October 9 to November 12 and throws the season into a more sombre light with its serious subject matter. Mourning Dove introduces the
audience to a couple with a severely disabled daughter. While the mother prepares her daughter for the next in a seemingly endless round of surgeries, the father, who has constructed an imaginary world to distract her from the pain, moves towards the decision to “free” her from this life. The final show for The Boy’s Jedi Handbook Park Two: The Girls Strike Back is Sunday, July 30. More information about Jedi and Theatre & Company’s upcoming season can be found at www.theatreandcompany.org. — Margaret Clark
arts
16
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
So long... and thanks for all the Phish Mixtape Madness and the Imprint press gang bid Waterloo summer students a fond, lyrical adieu Goodbyes are hard. Whether you’re saying goodbye to the term, your crummy landlord, your summer sweetheart, or your faithful old mutt, it’s tough to find the right words for the occasion. To which Imprint says: Why bother? That’s what music is for! So let the press gang help you out with tunes that have helped us get a handle on this whole “so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen” business. Oh, and good riddance until September, ya big lugs! “Get It While You Can” – Janis Joplin “In this world, if you read the papers, Lord, / you know everybody’s fighting on with each other. You got no one you can count on, baby, / not even your own brother.” So when Imprint came along, showing me love and affection, I got it while I could. Yes, I’m sentimental. Yes, I spent every waking second in the Imprint office this semester. Yes, now that the semester is coming to a close, the combination of the two makes me teary. So? Get it while you can. —Kinga Jakab Features Editor
guide you down that road — saying goodbye to what we know and journeying on to who knows what next. —Steven R. McEvoy Imprint Staff
“To Chalu” — Roopkumar Rathod Since I wasn’t brought up in Canada, I can’t recall many English songs reflecting this sense of farewell, although I am sure they exist. Hence my favourite goodbye song is a Hindi song called “To Chalu,” from a war movie called ‘Border’ released in 1997. The song is about a soldier who has just been married, but called to action the day after marriage. In the song, the soldier is asking permission from time itself, to go as slowly as possible, so that he can tell his wife everything in his heart, and express his appreciation for her in every possible way. —Wasim Parkar Secretary
“Here I Go Again” – Whitesnake This is a classic goodbye song in so many senses of the words. “I don’t know where I’m going. / But, I sure know where I’ve been. / Here I go again on my own.” This song sums up our whole lives: we are born alone, we die alone, we know where we have been but seldom really know where we are going. If your life philosophy includes the concept of life as a journey, then this song will always
“Courage” — Manowar This song is a magic song: it will catapult you out of your seat and make you look to the sky, hand to your heart. I once played this song while sitting in a good ol’ Norse hall drinking mead. I could see Valhalla through my tears. Tears of joy and manliness, of course. It details a warrior setting off to fight even though it’s a lost cause.
It gets the blood pumping and is kinda sad. Good, hard death-metal goodbye. —Tim Alamenciak Editor-In-Chief
“Tripped” — Bright Eyes This song is pretty much the only song that can make me cry — and if you know me that is an amazing feat. I first heard this song last
summer, funnily enough on a mix tape a guy I liked gave me. He and I hung out a bit for a while but ended up realizing that we were possibly the worst couple ever. Tripped, unfortunately, was the first song that I heard after we “ended.” It was all very dramatic as it was raining and I was getting on the bus and it just seemed like the perfect moment to give in to my emotions, even though they weren’t about our relationship. Honestly, listen to this song anytime you are
leaving someone you have any feelings for and you will break down. —Emma Tarswell News Assistant
“Good Girls, Bad Guys” — DMX, feat. Dyme Last weekend was one of the greatest weekends of my life. It was spent at my friends’ cottage down in Lion’s Head, just north of Owen Sound. Most of that weekend was spent on my friends’ small yacht on which we drank much Captain Morgan rum and bathed in much sun. On that yacht there was a CD playing and the song that saw the most play was the little ditty mentioned above —“But knock on wood, I got t h i s b i t ch (what?) excuse me She don’t like to be called a bitch, try not to lose me”—and maybe, just maybe, it was just the rum talking, but I could have swore that it was the greatest…song…ever. Saying goodbye to that yacht was difficult, but that song will forever remain engraved in my heart and illegally downloaded on my computer. Good times. —Steve Priesman Photo Editor
“The Finish Line” — Snow Patrol Not only is it the last song on the album, but it also has a distinctly
ethereal feel to it that evokes a cool sense of wonder and loss, which are inherent in any bittersweet goodbye. The images the lyrics convey are reminiscent of a starlit night on the watery edge of a cottage, which feels like late August, just before school starts up again. The quality of the music never dampens, and always seems to contain a tempered optimism, a quiet resonance that encourages a bright future: “I think the finish line’s a good place we could start/Take a deep breath, take in all that you could want.” —Kim Morrison Proofreader
“Jonathan David” — Belle and Sebastian This song is about a romantic relationship causing the end of the strongest of friendships. Paralleling the Biblical tale of Jonathan and David, the protagonist keeps saying that it’s ok — it’s not as if he’s being sent off to war — he will find love too. He assures his friend that they will remain friends, but by the end, it’s clear that he is completely out of the picture. In our case, Mixtape Madness is the one no longer welcome; the Arts section will now be shacking up with “real” features like Love It or Hate It and musical features that showcase actual local talent. But it’s ok — no really, it is. At least that’s what Belle and Sebastian tell us in this touching song. Unlike the friend in the song, we here at Imprint will fondly remember Mixtape Madness. It will be sorely missed. —Kirill Levin Assistant Editor
August 2: Wordplay — Princess Cinema 7p.m. — $6 at Turnkey
August 10: Charlena Russell CD Release w/Mary 5e, Lucas Stagg et al. — Fiddler’s Green, Cambridge
August 3: A Scanner Darkly — Princess Cinema 9 p.m. — $6 at Turnkey
August 19: Ben Lee with guests TBA — Starlight Tickets at Ticketmaster and Orange Monkey Doors open 9 PM — $14 advance August 24: Beowulf & Grendel — Princess Cinema 7 p.m. — $6 at Turnkey
August 4-6: Nidus Festival 2006; Bingemans;15 Bingemans Road “A festival for people from all streams of Christian faith with music, arts, keynotes, worship, dialogue, drama and dance. Three days to express faith, celebrate through arts and seek justice to stop AIDS” August 4-6: Mose Scarlett — Cambridge Millrace Festival August 6: Uncle Heavy’s Pork Chop Revue — Centennial Park, Cambridge 7 p.m. — Free
Your guide to the month of August 1-26
August 26: Atomic 7 — Jane Bond Doors at 9 — $10 in advance August 26: Veil dancing workshop — Button Factory $45 in advance for each workshop, $80 for both / $10 advance for evening performances [bellydance@rhaehana. com or 519-489-2520]
arts
FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
Smith’s sequel brings us back to basics... and ass-to-mouth
Clerks 2 Kevin Smith Alliance Atlantis
Clerks 2 is like a second-coming of Kevin Smith. He pushed away the rock of Jersey Girl and climbed out of his tomb, holding a fat wad of cash in his hand and a brilliant idea for a sequel in his head. The movie opens with a conclusion to the lives of Dante Hicks (Brian O’Halloran) and Randall Graves (Jeff Anderson) as convenience store clerks. Their store burns down and the two disillusioned boys become proud employees of Mooby’s, a burger joint cleverly harvested from the annals of every Smith film since Dogma. Smith’s humour has departed
slightly from the original occasionally vulgar film. Fans will find more dick and fart jokes and a plethora of discussion on ass-to-mouth. If you’re not a Kevin Smith fan, ignore this paragraph. Clerks 2 takes the humour style of the short-lived Clerks animated series. The series was lambasted by some fans and lauded by others. It’s Clerks humour without borders. Okay, back to basics. The movie is funny. Jay and Silent Bob make their excellent re-appearance as reformed dopers who have found Jesus. They’re still dealing, but no smoking for these two gods of the chronic lifestyle. The movie spirals loosely around a fatigued love plot between Dante and his boss, Becky (Rosario Dawson). The problem is that Dante has a fiancee, Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith, Smith’s wife), but he feels trapped by her. Plus she’s not a very nice person, and she wears a T-shirt that says “Mrs. Hicks.” A man working at a fast food joint feels trapped in life — it’s Smith’s Clerks schtick, but with a new location. It’s a timeless one, but this time around he opted to mix it in with a pregnant Becky and absolutely neurotic rich-girl Emma. Perhaps it’s some leftover scum from Smith’s Jersey Girl days. The film’s love plot closely resembles a shotgun wedding. No, a bring-your-own-lawn-chair shotgun wedding. Everyone cracks a smile and feels warm inside when Dante
and Becky finally realize their love for each other. Somewhere, doves fly around and Prince writes a song about it. However, the mediocre lovelines that skirt throughout the movie are far overshadowed by the ridiculous jokes and instances of “interspecies erotica.” Anderson’s on-screen performance is impeccable — sarcastic, funny, yet somehow sad. Smith’s ever-moving commentary on religion made itself known again in the character of Elias, a sheltered Christian boy with a penchant for transformers and, as it turns out, dudes having sex with donkeys. Randall’s constant abuse of Elias provides a sweeping fountain of jokes ranging from the troll in his girlfriend’s vagina to the glory of Lord of the Rings. Clerks 2 is an interesting sequel. From a fan standpoint, the humour has changed. I think it has progressed with the times — we live in a dirty society nowadays where it’s not enough to talk about giving 37 blowjobs. Smith’s film is biting, witty and, most importantly, funny. The trite love triangle barely takes away from Clerks 2. I heartily recommend this movie for any fan, and doubly so for those who are looking for a good flick that breaks some — wait, all — borders. —Tim Alamenciak
Don’t let leprosy deter you from Molokai
Molokai: The Story of Father Damien Paul Cox Vision Video
Molokai is a film that has achieved a fair level of success and popularity at the film festivals around the world. The film was a surprise on many levels, especially because when it was first released Molokai was immediately shelved in North American markets under the assumption of distributors that these audiences would not want to watch a film about a man who served as a priest in a leper colony until his own death of the disease. Paul Cox,who directed the film, is known as Australia’s Atom
Egoyan. Most of Cox’s films have weird twists that throw the audience. Now available on DVD in Canada, this film is a powerful and moving story on the level of The Mission with Jeremy Irons and Robert De Niro. A story of the triumph of human nature, Molokai is closely based on a true story. This film is a biography of Father Damien, the Catholic priest who in 1873 volunteered for service on the Hawaiian leper colony of Molokai. For 15 years Damien ministered nearly single-handedly to the quarantined community, supplying what medication he could procure while struggling against the red tape from organizations (religious and governmental) that would rather have forgotten all about the thousands of people dying in primitive conditions. He won some battles and lost others, finally succumbing to the disease himself in 1888. The film’s earnestness led to the who’s-who supporting cast (Sam Neill, Derek Jacobi, Peter O’Toole, Leo McKern, Kate Ceberano and Kris Kristofferson), but it is David Wenham who must carry the film as Damien, which he does spectacularly and with a touching humility, but with the spirit to fight for those he serves in the midst of such conflict. Director Paul Cox was inspired in his choice of scenes to highlight 15 years in a single film not two hours long. He uses amazing cinematographic tools to convey the story and the passage of time: a tree stand planted by Damien, the many construction projects he carries out, and watching ‘Little Bishop’ grow up
and pass away. Pay particular attention to the music and to the use of the sound of the wind as the film progresses. This is a story of faith and of service. If you want a film that will challenge your spirit and cause you to examine your own life in the light of the service given by others, you could not pick a better film. The Globe and Mail stated about the film, “A triumph of the human spirit!” But though this film did well at the film festivals, it had had little or no mainstream release in North America. As such, the DVD is left to stand on the power of the life story told and the cinematography and power of Cox’s direction. The only special feature on the DVD is the making of documentary with interviews of cast and crew, and the Samoans who played the roles of some of their own ancestors. This standalone documentary on the film more than justifies the purchase of the DVD. Many of the older cast — Kris Kristofferson, Sam Neill and Peter O’Toole — speak to their experience interacting with this story and knowing it from childhood. Watching them in costume on the windswept shore of Molokai, speaking about Damien, one can not help but see Damien’s own contemporaries who were buried around him on the piece of rock. Though not a happy story — not a story of success or a story of achievement, Molokai is a story of service and love and dedication that cannot help but touch your heart. —Steven R. McEvoy
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FRIDAY, july 28, 2006
Spirit hangs in the balance
Scott Hahn Letter and Spirit Doubleday
Depending on whom you talk to, Scott Hahn is either a hero or a turncoat. He was raised Presbyterian and on the fast track to be president at a Presbyterian seminary when he began to doubt two protestant mainstays: “by scripture alone” and “by faith alone.” So he did what any academically trained person would do: he decided to do research and went back to school to do a master’s in Roman Catholic thought, eventually converting to Catholicism. Since then, he has been a prolific writer and speaker on Catholicism, and why the Catholic faith is the one true valid faith. This book is part academic treatise and part faith discovery. Hahn states in the introduction
that he is writing this book for both his university students and the general population — readers of his many popular books on all things Catholic. Letter and Spirit is a study of how scripture is central to the mass, and how the eucharistic life is central to the word. It is a study of scripture and liturgy. The book shows a clear progression in the life of the faithful from receiving the written word to the living word in the liturgy. But that is just the beginning of the story: “Much work needs to be done. There are books to be written, studies to be undertaken, sermons to be preached, prayers to be raised, and ordinary lives to be lived.” This book could easily help those with faith to explore that commitment at a much deeper level. A strong reason for this is because it is both academically oriented yet written to be accessible to any reader. It is also written in a clear, concise manner that makes the book hard to put down once started. It will open up as easily to a person of faith as to those who just want to understand people in their life who have faith. Its succinct prose and plethora of quotes from history will show both groups the progression of thought throughout church history. And yet this book will likely not be accepted by much of its target audience because of Hahn’s past, because he recently announced that he is a member of Opus Dei (an organization within the church misunderstood to be extremist), and because he has a book on that topic coming out later this year. Here the issue of authorial integrity comes very much into play. As such, though this book has much to offer, its fate and worth hang in the balance. Will it be received for the treasures within or rejected for the author’s past and associations? Trite as it must sound, only time will tell. — Steven R. McEvoy
Sylvester Stallone Sly Moves
Sylvia Legris Nerve Squall
Harper Collins
Coach House Books
This is a great book for someone wanting to lose weight, a Rocky enthusiast, or just someone who wants to change up his or her workout routines. Rumours about his book appeared about 18 months before its release when Stallone launched his supplement company Instone Nutrition. I know that I, for one, was waiting with anticipation. It has a nice easy reading style and is full of personal stories and photos. It is part a chronicle of Stallone’s career and part fitness book. The four sections are: "Sly on Sly," “Shaping Up with Sly,” “The Sly Moves Eating Plan” and “Sly Moves in Action.” One of the greatest strengths of this book is that it recognizes that fitness for men and for women is different. It has recommended exercises for men and others for women. It also realizes that to make change takes real work and effort. Stallone says, “Locked inside each of us is the person we want to be. Others might not recognize it yet, but I'm telling you, it's in there. The passion shouldn't die before we do.” Like Bill Phillips in his book Body For Life says, “It’s very important to understand the difference between dreams and goals. Dreams are things we wish for — things you enjoy thinking about but don’t really know when they’ll happen. Goals, on the other hand, are specific things you have decided you need to accomplish within a clearly defined period of time.” Stallone’s techniques will help you to make your dreams become goals and those goals become reality. Stallone has tips for life. First written for his daughter, he shares them with us in the 4th section of the book. The top three read: 3. Enthusiasm is like a wonderful disease — keep spreading it until everyone’s infected. 2. Only choose a goal that — if you had to — you’d gladly pursue for free. In order to achieve success, you’ve got to follow your passion. 1. If it’s not broken, break it. That’s how new discoveries are made. That’s why everything that changes life is called a breakthrough.” This book will help you have breakthroughs in your life. Those breakthroughs will be through a process of progressive changes in your life and lifestyle. Robert Wolff, former editor of Muscle & Fitness, says in his book, “The one thing you can be absolutely sure of in your life is change. It’s the only thing that never changes. The law of nature is that you either grow or you die; there’s no inbetween. So, what have you chosen so far?” To many extents this book is a manual on how to make change. First in the area of physical fitness and then to apply the discipline learned there to other areas of your life. It is definitely worth the time and effort!
Brace yourself for a spoiler: the last three words of Nerve Squall, set on a page all their own, read “…your transOrbital EpiPen.” Now hang tight for the bigger, and perhaps more terrifying, spoiler: this is a book of poetry. And not just any book of poetry: Sylvia Legris’s work recently won the Griffin, Canada’s most prestigious poetry prize. The acclaim brought her work back from the brink of extinction (a fate that affects most books of poetry these days) and into the limelight. But Nerve Squall — “a hyperventilating flight of fancy,” according to a CBC reviewer — doesn’t live up to the chatter. Not at all. Certainly the language is engaging, in that Legris really doesn’t leave many linguistic stones unturned but the pieces are thin, hurrying off into one another as if even she realises they have, at best, a surface density. There’s just too little to be decoded in the whimsical chaos she’s describing, and far too few lines leave an immediate and lasting impression on the reader’s mind. An hour after I’d finished reading Nerve Squall, save for the ridiculousness of the last three words, nothing stuck. Now, poetry is difficult to review for a campus paper. When it comes to listing biases for fiction, it’s very easy to ascribe a certain tone to a genre and dismiss the whole genre (for instance: “This book was too dark for me; I hate goth fiction.”), but with poetry there aren’t so much genres as schools of poetry, and these schools of poetry rarely fit into neat little thematic or atmospheric categories. This is also no doubt part of the reason reading one high-falutin’ poem might just turn you off the whole form; for most people it’s easier to assume the tone or style of one piece is indicative of poetry as a whole than to dig a little deeper. What this means is that before completely dismissing Legris’s work I had to think hard about whether what I disliked was a personal issue or if it truly reflected a failing in Nerve Squall. To this end I looked at the work from two perspectives: would I recommend this work to someone I want to hook on poetry, and would I recommend this work to someone already hooked on the form? I quickly realized my answer was “No” to both. Sylvia Legris’s work is nowhere near inclusive enough for the average reader and offers precious little payoff to be worth his or her struggles. As for the more poetically-attuned reader, he or she will long for something of more substance, quickly realizing the lack of meaning reads more like a gimmick. It is, unfortunately, a gimmick that seems to be doing well in the Canadian poetry scene; nevertheless, both categories of reader would still be advised to look elsewhere (maybe George Elliott Clarke’s Black or Matt Rader’s Miraculous Hours) for their August poetry fix. Griffins aren’t always right.
— Steven R. McEvoy
— Margaret Clark
S cience Optimizing for your future Friday, july 28, 2006
Imprint
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science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Science Editor: Vacant
courtesy Miljana Prelic
The group from the “Modelling and Optimization: Theory and Applications” conference poses together in the arts quad. Cheng Seong Khor imprint staff
If the faculty of mathematics and computer science has often been touted as the powerhouse of our university, then one of its departments, the department of combinatorics and optimization, fondly referred to simply as C&O, must deservedly receive a billing as one of its brightest stars, if not the brightest. Even the dean of the faculty, Prof. Thomas F. Coleman, belongs formally to this department, testifying further to its overall strength. With this glowing reputation, C&O was rightly accorded the privilege of helming this year’s “Modeling and Optimization: Theory and Applications” conference, popularly referred to as MOPTA, from July 24-27, 2006. Now in to its sixth year, the conference has increasingly drawn more participants and retained loyal followers who count among some of the most prominent in the highly diverse field of optimization. According to Prof. Henry Wolkowicz of C&O, the co-chair of MOPTA 2006, the conference provides a unique dialogue between modelling and optimization, thus offering an opportunity for the meeting of minds between the theorists that largely consist of mathematicians on the one side, and the users or appliers on the other side that easily come from varied backgrounds, primarily from engineering and the sciences. Optimization or mathematical programming as it is sometimes referred to (but less so now since it is argued that the former is much more descriptive and therefore meaningful to the layman), is basically concerned with determining the best solution to a problem. It provides the tools for a systematic approach to aid in decision making and problem solving, particularly when there are many ways
of doing something but limited resources. It of Wisconsin-Madison), Yinyu Ye (Professor has therefore found tremendous use in many of Management Science and Engineering, practical problems, spurring even the mercu- Stanford University), Zhi-Quan (Tom) Luo rial growth of the area known as operations (Professor of Electrical and Computer Engiresearch (OR) or management science (MS), neering and ADC Chair in Digital Technology, which has recently been hailed as the “science University of Minnesota), Sven Leyffer (Comof better.” Areas in which optimization has puter Scientist, Argonne National Laboratory, been successfully applied vary enormously, Illinois), Charles R. Johnson (Professor of from agriculture to manufacturing, from alu- Mathematics, College of William and Mary, minum smelting to petroleum refining, and Virginia), and of course, Dean Coleman from banking to telecommunications, tack- himself. The excellent talks in various areas of ling problems that typically include planning optimization, with a and scheduling activifine blend between ties, material blending problems, and the This year’s MOPTA, which its theoretical and application aspects, current business buzz drew 120 participants, were evident indeed of supply-and-value chain optimization. 30 more than last year’s as delightfully emphasized by Tamas TerThis year’s MOPTA, which drew 120 event held at University of laky, Canada Research participants, 30 more Windsor, boasted no less Chair in Optimization and Director of Mcthan last year’s event held at University of the presence of eminent Master University’s School of CompuWindsor, boasted no names from highly varied tational Engineering less the presence of and Science. Terlaky, eminent names from highly varied sub-ar- sub-areas within a field as like Wolkowicz, has a long history of affilieas within a field as wide-ranging as ation with MOPTA, wide-ranging as opdating back to its timization itself. The optimization itself. inception in 2001. In latter testifies, in part, addition, there were to the growing presence and far-reaching impact of optimization also numerous presentations from professors on the greater facets of modern living that is and graduate students to fill the line-up of increasingly concerned with making the best the four-day event, which included a banquet of available resources through informed deci- at University Club to allow participants to strengthen their ties and forge future research sion-making. The plenary speakers comprise the who’s collaborations. One of the highlights of the conference who of the field, namely Michael Saunders (Research Professor of Management Science was the awarding of the Lagrange Prize to and Engineering, Stanford University), Michael honour outstanding works that display excepFerris (Professor of Computer Sciences and tional mathematical quality, significance, and Industrial and Systems Engineering, University originality. Established in 2002, the prize is
awarded jointly by the Mathematical Programming Society and the Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics (SIAM), the perennial professional societies for academicians as well as industrial practitioners working in the broad area of optimization. This year’s award was conferred on Roger Fletcher, the distinguished Professor of Mathematics at the University of Dundee, Scotland with his co-workers, Sven Leyffer (who was one of the plenary speakers) and Philippe Toint, Professor of Mathematics at the University of Namur, Belgium, for their highly-innovative and impactful contribution to the area of nonlinear optimization. Closer to home, there are certainly no fewer activities involving optimization, in one form or another, at our campus. Within the faculty of mathematics itself, the neighbouring department of statistics and actuarial science increasingly employ optimization tools to solving problems in its area. The engineering departments, primarily systems design engineering and electrical and computer engineering, routinely utilize optimization when developing their theory in executing and operationalizing potential solutions to systems problems. The other engineering departments of chemical, mechanical, and civil engineering have also found escalating use of optimization tools, not only within their individual fields but extending to multidisciplinary problems that require increasing interactions. The physical and chemical sciences are also harnessing the power of optimization, with the biological sciences fairly recently discovering this amazing tool in advancing the emerging area of computational biology while economists have had a long history of applying optimization to developing theories in their field. ckhor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
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Sports Imprint
Friday, july 28, 2006
sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Sports Editor: Mohammad Jangda
Varsity recruits ready to don Warrior jerseys Men’s basketball Losing three senior captains due to graduation is never easy for a varsity team. The coaching staff of UW’s men’s basketball knew that for the 2006/2007 season, they had to get some talent that would be able to fill the empty jerseys fairly quickly. Head coach Tom Kieswetter and recruiting co-ordinator Curtis Dau have assembled the “strongest class of newcomers in recent memory,” said a UW Athletics press release. The group is a set of well-decorated champions who will “bring a broad spectrum of skill, athleticism and competitiveness that should keep the Warriors among the top teams for years.” Reed Siemieniuk
This 6’6” forward from Calgary’s Bishop Grandin H.S. led his school to Calgary’s Division 1 Championship. His strong sense of scoring, rebounding and competitiveness has won him numerous awards including the Laurier-Robertson Award for best overall student-athlete in Calgary. “[Siemieniuk] ... possesses the confidence, skill and basketball IQ to make ... the ‘big’ play. He will make a difference immediately,” said Kieswetter.
Alan Goodhoofd (above)
Jordan Hannah (above in blue)
Sinclair Brown (above in black)
Luke Kieswetter (above)
Ranked as one of the top forwards in the province, Goodhoofd has led Oakville’s King’s Christian College to an OCSAA Gold twice. Kieswetter, who has high expectations for Goodhoofd, stated that the 6’5” forward “has the complete package.” He can get things done on both sides of the court and this, along with his fiercely competitive nature, will prove invaluable to the Warriors. “[Goodhoofd] is ready to jump into the mix right away,” added Kieswetter.
This 6’1” guard from Kitchener’s St. Mary’s H.S led his team to their first ever District #8 Championship last season and has been named his school’s Athlete of the Year twice. Hannah is an exceptional ball-handler and passer, which allows him to play either of the two guard positions. He also excels in scoring and “is lethal from anywhere [on the court].” Kieswetter said, “He plays with intensity and has all the makings of a great Warrior.”
At 6’7”, this forward from Vancouver’s Argyle S.S. is the tallest of the recruits, but is still fairly agile and can play a number of positions on the court. Brown has scored a provincial championship and a conference victory during his career. He previously played at Simon Fraser University and will be eligible to play for UW in September 2007. Kieswetter said that Brown’s many talents “will certainly make a significant impact on our program.”
Standing at 6’1”, this guard from Kitchener Collegiate brings a high level of toughness and athleticism to the court. Kieswetter is not afraid to battle opponents at either end of the court and come out the victor. He is one of the top point guards in the province, having played on several championship teams as well as winning various MVP and All-Star awards. “Luke is a winner and there is no question he will make an impact at Waterloo,” said the head coach.
volleyball with the Burlington Blaze as a starting middle blocker and was with the club for three years.
basketball championships. In 2004 she joined the Fraser Valley Volleyball Club and has competed at several levels.
Megan McKenzie
Jen Querney (above)
McKenzie is a 6’2” middle blocker who hails from Elgin Park Secondary in Surrey, B.C. where she was named Senior Athlete of the Year for the second consecutive year. During her high school career, she competed in two provincial volleyball and one
Querney is a 5’10” left-handed outside hitter from Lockerby High School in Sudbury. She played the most recent club season with the York Region Stingrays. She is a well-rounded athlete, having also competed at the OFSAA soccer championships.
the Augustana Vikings of the Alberta College Athletic Conference, where he earned 38 points in 42 games.
Chris Golem (below)
Men’s volleyball
Women’s volleyball
Head Coach Fernando Pardo has assembled a competitive group of recruits to help the Warriors recover from a rough last season. “These incoming freshmen have a solid balance between competitive athletics and academics,” he said in a press release. “I am excited about the upcoming season and the skills and characteristics these student-athletes will bring to Warrior volleyball.”
Now heading into his fifth year as head coach, Jason Grieve has recruited a set of talented players with significant competitive experience that will likely prove valuable in the upcoming season. Stephanie Ebreo (right)
Barrett Schitka
Schitka is a right-handed Libero from Calgary with a good work ethic and strong understanding of the game. His club team, the Canada West Dragons, scored a Bronze medal at the 2006 Alberta Provincial Championships and “he will bring consistency and energy on the court,” said Pardo. Reid Cowper
Cowper, a well-rounded athlete from Moorefield, Ontario, was titled MVP for both volleyball and badminton at Norwell District Secondary School in the last season. At 6’2”, this lefthanded setter places great importance on improving his technique and conditioning. Nic Turnhout
Turnhout, a 6’3” right-handed middle from Georgetown, Ontario led the Mississauga Pakmen Volleyball Club to a fifth place showing at the 2006 provincial championships. “Nic is a hard working player who demands excellence of himself every time he steps on the court,” said Pardo. Andrew Thorpe
Hailing from Ingersoll, Ontario, Thorpe and his Forest City Volleyball club won the silver medal at the Tier I U-18 national championships in 2006. Standing at 6’2”, this right-handed
setter, according to Pardo, is a “hard working player who is not afraid to lead his team toward a common goal by example.” Duncan Cairns (above)
Georgetown native Cairns is a 6’3” right-handed outside hitter who just completed a season with the Mississauga Pakmen Volleyball club. He was also chosen to represent Canada at the Under-19 Beach Volleyball World Championships in Bermuda which take place this September. He’s looking forward to the challenge and using the experience as a way to boost the Warriors’ performance in the coming season. “Duncan is consistently improving his skill level and physical strength,” says Pardo. He is a valuable asset, as he understands the importance of teamwork. Brad St. Pierre
St. Pierre is “gutsy,” and his competitive nature really shines on the court. He is a right-handed setter from Black Creek, B.C. who was named a first team all star at the 2006 Island Championships as well as being a part of the gold medal winning team at the Tier II Under-18 National Championships in May 2006.
According to Grieve, Ebreo is “a dynamic and skilled setter ... whose strengths are in decision making and on-court leadership.” She was recently named to Team Ontario and ended her third consecutive season as starting setter and captain of the Peel Selects Volleyball Club. She is academically strong as well, being named Student of the Year at her high school twice. Kate Flanagan
Flanagan is a 6’ middle blocker who was named three-time volleyball MVP at Nelson High School in Burlington and also competed at the OFSAA soccer championships. She played club
Men’s hockey As Brian Borque heads into his second season as coach, he takes with him a strong group of recruits with a fair bit of competitive experience. Brandon Mulholland
Mulholland is a 6’ 1’’ defenceman from Newmarket, Ontario who played for the Rochester Institute of Techology in the 2004-05 season. After spending a season away from intercollegiate play, this strong physical defenceman is now eligible to play for Waterloo. Joel Olszowka
Olszowka is a 6’0’’ 195lbs defenceman from Bonnyville, Alberta. A hard hitting, strong skating defenceman, he spent the past two seasons with
stories by Mohammad Jangda (mjangda@imprint.uwaterloo.ca) and Jacqueline mckoy (jmckoy@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)
Kyle Pellerin
This 5’10’’ 180lbs left shot forward from Regina, Saskatchewan spent the past three seasons in the Saskatchewan Junior Hockey League. Proving himself as a consistent offensive force, Pellerin earned 48 goals and 62 assists for 110 points in 144 games.
Golem, a Kitchener native, is a 6’ 1’’ 205lbs forward who won a Sutherland Cup Junior B championship last season with the Cambridge Hawks. His tireless work ethic and strong offensive ethics helped him to lead the league in play-off scoring with 12 goals and 15 assists for 27 points in 16 games.
Matt Sitko
Hailing from Waterloo, this 6’0’’ 210lbs defenceman from Waterloo, Ontario played the past two seasons with the Georgetown Raiders of the OPJHL, where he earned 51 points in 101 games. Sitko is a well-rounded player whose defensive and offensive contributions are equally strong. photos courtesy of UW Athletics