Imprint_2009-02-13_v31_i26

Impr int The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper

Friday, February 13, 2009

vol 31, no 26

imprint . uwaterloo . ca

More top physicists coming to UW, page 17

A word with the acclaimed VPAF-elect Chris Neal talks about his plans for office, and the challenge of filling big shoes Maggie Clark editor-in-chief

V

P-elect administration & finance Chris Neal has been sitting on the sidelines since nominations closed for the Feds election on January 23 — after all, he was acclaimed. According to Neal, this very fact surprised him: after current VPAF Del Pereira and Feds President Justin Williams were acclaimed last January, Neal expected more students interested in running for positions this time around, if only to keep the elections process running smoothly.

Instead, the previous MathSoc president, Math FOC, and OUSA delegate, as well as ongoing board and council member found himself the lone nominee, meaning an automatic victory for a portfolio governing all of Feds finances — a position responsible for overseeing Feds businesses like the UW Bookstore, Feds Express, the Bomber, and Fed Hall, getting funds to clubs and services on campus, helping those same clubs with budgetary issues, and managing personnel issues and training.

Acclamation begs the question, what if someone other than Neal had run — someone with a shorter resume, perhaps? “You could screw up so many things

with [this position] in just your first day if you weren’t qualified,” said Neal, though he was quick to defend the current acclamation system. “The problem is that I don’t think students would appreciate limits on the nomination process. You want to maximize access to the position; you want anyone who feels they might be qualified for it to run.”

Neal was also quick to acknowledge that his experience wouldn’t automatically make him gifted at his upcoming role. “I think it would be naive for anyone to say they could walk in and fill Del’s shoes on their first day, and I am completely able to say that I won’t be able to perform as well as Del right at the start.”

Neal comes in after two back-to-back terms from Del Pereira, whose accomplishments include getting the ailing Fed Hall to break even through a transition from concert bookings to weddings, catering, and similar community events. Pereira also oversaw the closure of Aussie’s, which once ran in the Atrium, alongside the introduction of Feds Xpress — an expanded venue boasting more fresh fare than its predecessor — last January. More recently, Pereira opened Curry Up!, the first fully-halal food outlet for students on campus.

maggie clark

See VPAF, page 3

Above: Chris Neal, the Feds VPAF-elect, poses at the end of the election cycle, having escaped the campaign routine of debates and voter engagement by being acclaimed to office.

Below: Del Pereira, current VPAF, moderates the Feds executive debate on January 30. Pereira, fulfilling the role of Feds president during the election season, as well as debate moderator for two forums, on top of his regular duties, leaves concrete developments and on-going issues of the office to Neal this May — and Neal is eager to start the transition process soon.

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Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009 news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

VPAF: Cautious plans for role Ongoing issues for the position of VPAF include the manner and time frame through which Feds releases club funding each term, as well as Bomber’s viability as a business. As the latter is still losing money, Neal highlighted this as one of his top priorities. “In the short term, obviously cutting costs is important,” said Neal, “but in the long term I’d like to see a business review equivalent to the kinds of reviews done for [Feds] services. I think we need to review these businesses in the same

“

answer for: “It’s got to be a conversation I have with the new VP internal, because in the [executive] debate Pflug mentioned that there are issues with the proposals the candidates were bringing to the table — that what we’re doing is the most effective way — I realize there are a lot of factors here, and all I can say is, I’m going to do my research.”

As of press time, voting was still on-going in the Feds election, so Neal had no notion of who his fellow executives would be. While he noted clear preferences — Neal was going to run with Team Green had he not been acclaimed

We need to review [Feds] businesses in the same way we review the services, to determine what value students get out of each business... I don’t think students in general get enough input in the process.

way we review the services, to determine what value students get out of each business, and how to improve on that feedback. ... I don’t think students in general get enough input in the process.”

In the marketing product, Neal is intent on seeing an oft-touted goal become a reality. “I know this has been tossed around, a new website that works — I know they always say that. Team Green’s 50-point plan mentions hiring a dedicated web developer, and I promise you that I am going to investigate deeply into trying to make that a reality. I know Cheryl [Pflug, Feds accounting manager] said at the [executive] debate that there wasn’t money for that, but I do know that Feds needs to put more resources into its web development, and it needs someone owning that process. Now, whether that will be through a consolidation of existing resources or outsourcing, I don’t know. But I will be looking into it.”

As for leaving his mark on new businesses, Neal is interested in the Aussie’s space in the Atrium, contemplating options like another food outlet with halal options. He also hopes to maintain and fine-tune a balance in Fed Hall between student and external events. And the question of what to do about clubs that are frustrated about how and when they can access finances is one Neal admitted he had no ready

Belal Rizvi reporter

Ryan Webb assistant news editor

Virginia Tech opens its shooting archive to the public

Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University opened its archives related to the 2007 shootings, which left 33 people dead. The move came as part of an $11 million settlement reached with the families of the victims. The archives were made public at two terminals in campus libraries where students and others could view emails, documents and records of the killer Seung-Hui Cho, as well as records of correspondence between officials related to the matter. Attempts are being made by the technical staff to make the archive available online.

On April 16, 2007 Seung-Hui Cho killed two people in Ambler Johnston Hall, a residence at VT, and then 30 others at Norris Hall, a lecture building, before eventually taking his own life.

Additionally, 15 students were officially reported as having been wounded; however, there are lingering reports that there were a greater number of injuries than officially disclosed.

— With files from The New York Times

“

Continued from cover

St. Jerome’s faculty lacks faith in president

— Neal had positive comments about all the forerunners: “My preference is obviously to see Sam in the office of president, but having talked with both Allan and Brandon, I feel confident I could work with either if they were to win instead. ... As for VPIN, I would have run with Sarah, but I’ve worked with Val before, so I could see that being just fine. And Kia has a great energy, so I think the same is true there. My strong preference for VPED is Justin, but in the event that Justin didn’t win, I could probably work well with Alicia — maybe even offer support if need be.”

Neal is eager to start training for his position, but as current VPAF Pereira is also acting president, and played an integral role in the election season as debate moderator for the executive debate and media forum, it has proven difficult to have a sit-down chat about the role to date. Neal is also eager to talk to Feds staff like Pflug before entering his role, and expressed enthusiasm about seeing more student engagement on projects like the Feds website. “If students tell me they want to help out, I’ll put them to work.”

Election results, released on Friday at noon in the Great Hall, are available online at vote. feds.ca. All candidates begin in their positions May 1, 2009. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

City University of New York proposes “community college of the future”

A 120page report was revealed last week that outlined a vision for “the community college of the future,” a 5,000 student campus in Manhattan that would be New York City’s first institution of higher learning in nearly four decades. CUNY Chancellor Michael Goldstein said that “capacity [at community colleges] will be severely tested,” referring to the startling increase in numbers that community colleges have seen with the declining economy.

Borough of Manhattan Community College reported that it now had 22,000 students, up from the 16,000 it usually saw. Among many of the ideas proposed in the report, students would be required to take 12 course credits, majors would be limited to a certain amount of fields, and face-to-face interviews would be required.

The CUNY is also testing a pilot program called Accelerated Study in Associate Programs or ASAP. This program offers free tuition, books, MetroCards, and first pick of classes to approximately 1,132 students currently enrolled in the program. This helps students to attend classes while keeping their part time jobs, which about 66 per cent of students have. Community colleges are the

dinh nguyen

Ryan Webb assistant news editor

T

ensions amongst the faculty members of St. Jerome’s University have resulted in an overwhelming vote of no confidence against the school’s president, David B. Perrin. According to reports, 20 faculty members supported the motion, two rejected the motion, and eight of the thirty eligible voters did not cast a vote for either side.

A statement from St. Jerome’s University Faculty Association indicated that the faculty had lost trust in the school’s president and implied that Perrin was responsible for “a dramatic increase of the number of people who have left” the college in recent months.

The statement went on to accuse Perrin of trying to “suppress academic freedom” during his tenure. The Record reported that one

stepping stone to higher education for families who come from poor or modest backgrounds.

The CUNY reported that 60 per cent of community college students come from families that earn less than $30,000 a year.

Currently the CUNY is looking to secure funds for the new campus that it is looking to create amidst the budget cuts that the city of New York has been making. Mayor Bloomberg routed $19.5 million to the ASAP program when Chancellor Goldstein said that the low graduation rates were a “travesty.” However, these low rates have been some of the reasons why the city is hesitant on providing funding to the CUNY for this project. Only about 30 per cent of the 81,000 students currently enrolled in community colleges across New York earn a degree or transfer after three years, which is still better than the national average of 24.7 per cent. The CUNY is currently looking for private funding such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation which will spend its money through 2025 to increase the number of people holding post-secondary degrees. Hilary Pennington of the foundation said that the CUNY project is exactly the kind of thing they would be looking to invest in.

— With files from The New York Times

associate professor had left SJU to take a position within UW’s faculty.

Perrin has been the president of SJU, a Roman Catholic college federated by UW, since August 1, 2007. He was formerly dean of St Paul University in Ottawa, the same school where he earned his Ph.D. He is also a priest in the religious order of the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate.

The motion is not binding and the matter is now in the hands of SJU’s Board of Governors. Dorothee Retterath, the board’s chair, told The Record that it “fully endorses the strong senior administrative team it has assembled.”

Currently Perrin is attending a meeting outside the region. Imprint will have more details next week as further information becomes available. rwebb@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

RMC women’s basketball

The Royal Military College women’s basketball team, the Paladins, won their first-ever regular season Ontario University Athletics game last Friday after losing 128 games straight.

“I just started yelling at the top of my lungs [when the buzzer sounded],” said 34-year-old Sharlene Harding, a forward on the team who had returned to school in order to gain her Masters degree in War Studies. Harding had formerly served as assistant coach to the team for five years.

The RMC fans exploded into tears and joy as the buzzer sounded and the 0 – 128 team got their first win. “There were fountains all over the place, there were a lot of tears,” said Brad Schur, the coach for the team. “I never had any doubt [they would eventually win], especially the way they’ve been playing this year.”

The Paladins beat the York Lions 64-61 in the Ontario University Athletics game with Harding leading the team with 25 points and 21 rebounds.

The team went out that night to celebrate before heading to Sudbury to play against the Laurentian Lady Vees.

— With files from The Globe and Mail

4

News

Katrina Massey reporter

Ryan Webb assistant news editor

Israeli parliamentary election brings shift to right

JERUSALEM, Israel Israel held parliamentary elections on Tuesday that, according to preliminary numbers, have resulted in a shift to the right in terms of overall seat count in the Isreali Parliament, the Knesset.

Binyamin Netanyahu’s Likud party made the largest gains, moving from 12 seats to 27, while the formerly ruling left-wing Kadima party managed to narrowly maintain its plurality by just one seat. The leftist Labour party had an historically low turnout and lost six seats, while the far-right Nationalist party Yisrael Beitanu gained four.

As the seat count became apparent on election night both Tzipi Livni, leader of Kadima, and Netanyahu

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

declared victory and promised to form a viable coalition in Parliament. As she had prior to the election, Livni called on Likud to join into a unity coalition with her as the prime minister. However, Netanyahu indicated he would seek to form a coalition amongst the numerous right-wing parties which now hold a net majority in the Knesset.

The ultimate decision as to who will lead the next Parliament rests with President Shimon Peres. The constitution gives the president authority to decide which of the candidates can lead a viable coalition government.

For his part, Peres has indicated he will not announce a decision until the results are officially finalized on February 18.

Many Palestinians fear that a shift to the right in Israeli leadership will result in further Israeli action against them, especially against the Hamas government that controls the Gaza Strip.

— With files from Haaretz , Reuters and The Jerusalem Post

Zimbabwe’s education system collapses due to violence GENEVA, Zimbabwe

2009 has not begun well for Zimbabwe, with 94 per cent of their rural schools failing to open. Zimbabwe’s education system used to be one of the best in sub-Saharan Africa, but has been severely neglected due to economic collapse and political stagnation. Since rural schools are where the majority of children are taught, most children are currently going without any education.

Problems with the school system began following the March 2008 election, when widespread political violence occurred. That year, school attendance dropped from 80 per cent to 20 per cent. The few schools that are still open in 2009 are charging fees in foreign currency, making it unaffordable for most. Tsitsi Singizi, spokesperson for UNICEF for Zimbabwe, said, “The

infrastructure is still there, but it needs to be brought back from the brink.”

The economic collapse occurs as Zimbabwe undergoes a still spreading cholera outbreak, said to be Africa’s worst in 15 years. Over 70,000 Zimbabweans have the disease, and a 4.9 per cent fatality rate means a death toll of nearly 3,500.

The UN is now saying that Zimbabwe’s outbreak poses a threat to bordering countries South Africa, Mozambique, and Zambia. Red Cross aid workers have been distributing hundreds of thousands water purification sachets in an attempt to control the outbreak. Zimbabwe’s health system similarly suffers from the economic crisis, with more than half the country now surviving on food aid.

The crisis has left eight out of ten Zimbabweans without work, and has resulted in the world’s highest inflation rate of over 231 million per cent.

— With files from IRIN and Reuters

Civilians flee Tamil territory after attacks

COLOMBO, Sri Lanka More than 28,000 civilians have fled from Tamil-held territory to safe areas this past week, according to the International Committee of the Red Cross.

An estimated 21,000 of those escaped between February 6 and 9.

Civilians continue their exodus despite attempts by the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam to dissuade civilians from leaving. On February 10, rebels fired at a group of 1,000 civilians who were attempting to leave. 19 died as a result. Amid the attack, civilians carried the dead and 69 injured into government-controlled areas.

Another attack on civilians occurred February 9, when 16 patients were killed during the shelling of treatment centre in the war zone.

That same day, a suicide attack by a LTTE rebel near an internal displacement registration centre killed 30 and wounded 60 others.

There is still debate as to how many civilians are still trapped.

UN agencies are reporting around 200,000, while the Sri Lankan government is claiming half that number.

Meanwhile, 50,000 Sri Lankan soldiers are closing in around the LTTE, who are now confined to an area of 175 square kilometres.

— With files from BBC, IRIN and Reuters

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Australian bushfires called worst in 110 years

SYDNEY, Australia The death toll is expected to rise above 200 as firefighters struggle to extinguish fires that have devastated the Australian province of Victoria.

At the moment, 181 deaths have been confirmed in more than 20 affected towns.

In response, authorities have launched their largest ever arson investigation, dubbed Operation Phoenix.

Investigators are confident that they will catch the arsonists, who may face manslaughter or murder charges.The fires are considered suspicious because no natural events preceded them.

The fires have been called Australia’s worst natural disaster in over a century.

Over 500 people have been injured, and over 5,000 left homeless.

Over a dozen fires are estimated to still be burning as of February 12. ­— With files from BBC and Reuters

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Opinion Friday, February 13, 2009 Vol. 31, No. 26 Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Maggie Clark editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Ad Assistant, vacant Sales Assisstant, Abbas Abdulali Systems Admin. Dan Agar Distribution, vacant, Sherif Soliman Interns, Brandon Rampelt Volunteer co-ordinator, Dinh Nguyen Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Sherif Soliman president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Vacant vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Lu Jiang treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Vanessa Pinelli secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Peter Trinh liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Dinh Nguyen Head Reporter, James Damaskinos Lead Proofreader, Alicia Boers Cover Editor, Veronika Zaretsky News Editor, Duncan Ramsay News Assistant, Ryan Webb Opinion Editor, Adrienne Raw Opinion Assistant, Christine Nanteza Features Editor, Vacant Features Assistant, Vacant Arts & Entertainment Editor, Tina Ironstone Arts & Entertainment Assistant, Vacant Science & Tech Editor, Rajul Saleh Science & Tech Assistant, Vacant Sports & Living Editor, Caitlin McIntyre Sports & Living Assistant, Vacant Photo Editor, Vacant Photo Assistant, Shannon Purves Graphics Editor, Vacant Graphics Assistant, Vacant Web Administrator, Vacant Systems Administrator, Mohammad Jangda Production Staff Alicia Boers, Susie Roma, Andrew Dodds, Keriece Harris, Erin Thompson, Rachel McNeil, Katrina Massey, Tom Levesque, Steven R. McEvoy, Paul Collier, Mohammad Jangda Graphics Team Armel Chesnais, Paul Collier Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital.

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Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009 opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

No age for old ways editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A

few weeks back, I overheard a UW student describe ted.com as “youtube for smart people,” and had to smile at the self-congratulatory undertone of such a statement — especially because I would later be guilty of using the phrase myself. “Smart” isn’t even an accurate descriptor: “engaged,” “passionate,” or “curious” might better serve. TED — standing for technology, entertainment, and design — is a series of conference lectures about “ideas worth spreading,” and if that sounds broad, trust me: it’s no broader than the scope of the ideas themselves.

For example, one of my most recent listens was a talk by Peter Reinhart about the art of baking bread — bread!

— which I heard after having absorbed a slew of talks about cultural memes, environmental technology, new directions in quantum physics, wacky gadgets, art, history, war, and social structures: you name it, TED has a speaker for it. I tend to put a lecture on when I need a buffer from the din of the Imprint office (or an escape from the monotony, when it gets too quiet), and no more was I glad for this ritual than when I stumbled on one especially humble, markedly profound piece by James Surowiecki, entitled “The moment when social media became the news.”

Surowiecki is the author of The Wisdom of Crowds, and argues in his lecture that the blogosphere has maximized our potential to be more intelligent as a group than as individuals. The notion

that there exists a “collective intelligence” greater than that of individuals is not new: sociologists will tell you that redefining “groupthink” has been a part of the discourse for a while now.

However — and very much ironically — our collective experience of this fact is still quite nascent; very much alive in the public discourse instead is the concept of the “unwashed masses,” with Machiavelli’s The Prince or Canetti’s Crowds and Power coming quick to mind when defending these perceptions.

Are we capable of terrible things as a collective? Yes. But I’ve written a fair bit to date already on how infuriating I find the presumption of mass ignorance and gullibility to be. It has emerged in various flavours, too: PSCI students broadly proclaiming that some people’s votes should count more than others because the general population isn’t informed enough; members of the media who insist that people will never read nuanced articles on tough issues, so it’s better to throw them quickie reads — 200-word blurbs or the dreaded Twitter article — instead.

I am so very sick of hearing all of these dismissals, in large part because the argument so horrifically shifts blame away from the integral part of this power dynamic: those with the power to change the existing world to something better. If people aren’t informed enough about politics, gee, maybe that has something to do with their lack of confidence in the current

system — and to that end better civic education and more transparent, accessible leadership could easily create a more informed populace. If people aren’t reading nuanced articles on tough issues, hey! Maybe it’s because their expectations of the news have been fashioned by those who make it — the same people who’ve been churning out 200-word articles and Twitters in place of more thoughtful pieces about the greater issues on this planet.

This is also why blog culture is so different: there is no disproportionate power dynamic in the first place. The entire structure of ruling member and subjugating class, propagated by centuries of philosophical discourse and furthered in those branches of power which exist to this day, simply do not come into play on the web. It’s apples and oranges. And as oranges go, these ones give tremendous insight into the kind of world we’re developing without even realizing it.

What blog culture provides, and what Surowiecki alludes to in his speech, is a means by which individual independence — of expression especially — can be maximized. Rather than Western internet having a collective opinion, there exists a spectrum of opinions, some louder, yes — but crucially, none drowned out. All voices coexist. There are some wrinkles in this model, to be sure: for one, the existence of all voices means the presence of abominations

like godhatefags.com (please don’t boost Fred Phelps’ web traffic) and KKK forums, to say nothing of the ease by which child pornography and other slavery is propagated. But to be fair, homophobia (too gentle a term for the likes of Phelps), white supremacy, and sexual exploitation existed long before the internet, and the difference — their reach — is mitigated by the fact that the internet also makes it easier (in theory) to expose wrongdoing.

In many ways, our cultural transformation is taking place unconsciously, so talking about blogs can often come off as commenting on the obvious. But what isn’t as obvious — and what needs to be just as obvious — is that much of what we unconsciously parrot still echoes a very different cultural mindset. Yes, it’s crucial that we remember our history — a history plagued by abuses of power. Yes, it’s equally crucial that we remember no cultural transformation happens unilaterally, and many parts of the world, not as empowered by the internet, are still operating under a much different social context.

But we should also remember that, if anything, our access to this technology makes us all people of potential power — and as such, far from continuing to condemn “the masses” for their supposed ignorance, it falls to all of us to do what we can to improve the quality of information and insight available for public consumption.

Best of luck, technocrats.

Community Editorial

Cycle of violence continues Andrew Kraan respondent

I

was born and raised in Canada, I have never left North America and I have no family living in the Middle East. That being said, I feel my position of privilege in the world carries with it the responsibility to speak for those who are the victims of injustice and oppression. Furthermore, I do not think that we should hold back our criticism for the State of Israel because they have a liberal democracy. On the contrary, it is our duty as fellow citizens of a democratic society to remind them to stay true to the principles on which democracy is founded, most notably, equality.

Gregory Cohen wrote [February 6 Imprint] that “[the misinformed writers on the Israel-Palestine conflict] believe that the simple combination of a ceasefire and reopening of the Palestinian borders will resolve this complex conflict.” However, I believe this solution falls far short of achieving peace as it fails to address the key issue: the policy of apartheid — or separation, as it is called in Israel — enforced on the Palestinian population within Israel-Palestine.

A disturbing trend that I’ve noticed from my ivory tower in the West is the presence of racist rhetoric in Israeli politics. This logic takes on many forms, including the popular notions that “Palestinians purposely allow themselves to be put in harm’s way,” and that “they don’t want to or can’t make peace.” I am amazed that these claims continue to be made, not only because they completely dehumanize an entire nation of people,

but also because they are easily refuted by the complete lack of celebration as Gazans pulled their thousands of dead family members and neighbours from the rubble of their homes, schools, and businesses. When faced with this reality, the Israeli position is yet again that of the victim since “they know that civilian deaths make Israel look bad.” Even more appalling is that some Israelis regard morality as a luxury, one which they cannot afford because they are supposedly forced to commit heinous crimes against civilians. This indicates not only the awareness of the immorality of the actions taking place, but also the complicity and endorsement of said crimes. Some people even preface their opinions by saying “I know I sound like a fascist, but...” as if acknowledging their guilt absolves them of it.

This is not to say that all Israelis hold extremist ideals, but that they are becoming more popular and thus, acceptable. The rise of the extremist politician Avigdor Lieberman is evidence of the legitimization of these views.

Widely tipped to finish among the top three parties in the February 9 national elections, Lieberman has gained a following amongst ethnic nationalists who chant “Death to Arabs” and endorse revoking the citizenship of Arab Israelis if they fail to pass a “loyalty test.” He has made claims that Arab Israelis “want to enjoy all the advantages of the modern Israel, but on the other hand they want to destroy us from the inside” and that Israel should seek to revoke Arab’s citizenship since “the more homogenous a country is, the better it develops” (unlike Canada with our situation in Quebec, an example

Lieberman uses).

These policies can be seen in practice with the construction of the separation barrier, an eight meter high concrete wall which separates Arabs in the West Bank not only from the legal territory of the State of Israel, but also from the illegal Israeli settlements on Palestinian land, which the State of Israel seeks to annex and in some ways, already has. License plates in Israel and the Occupied Territories are differentiated by ethnicity as well as geographic location (i.e. Jewish Israelis, including those living in the West Bank, all have blue licence plates.

Arabs’ licence plate colour depends on whether they live in Gaza, Israel, or the West Bank). There was even a recent attempt to ban all Arab parties from the Israeli Parliament, a debacle that the Supreme Court was forced to resolve in order to save democracy.

Contrary to those who claim that Israel wants peace, I suggest that the predominant concern in Israel today is security. Some may find it hard to distinguish between peace and security, and to an extent they are related; the viability of a lasting peace is dependent on the security of those parties involved. The important point here is that security for Israel does not imply security for anyone else, but rather justifies an expanding presence and control in the region of both the Israeli military and the illegal settlers who seek to take back the land which they believe was granted exclusively to them by their “God.” From the Israeli perspective, security means control of those within one’s (consistently expanding) borders, as well as those who “threaten Israel’s existence” — apparently all Palestinians.

Some people may find it offensive to levy accusations of fascism and racism against a state that was formed for the victims of these evils. Unfortunately, the cycle of abuse appears to be continuing as it too often does; with the victims of an injustice abusing their newfound power to compensate for their previous losses. Militants in Gaza abuse their position as victims of Israeli apartheid to justify indiscriminate attacks on Israeli territory.

Israel now has the fourth largest military in the world (behind the U.S., Russia, and China) and consequently, the freedom to exert control over their neighbours. The Palestinians have a constantly shrinking territory in which the only military presence is Israel’s. There is constant reference to “those who seek to wipe Israel off the map,” however history shows that it is Palestinian territory that is disappearing as Israel grows. My only hope is that one day, when Palestinians have a free state of their own, they will revoke their past mistreatments in the name of peace, and break the cycle of hateful violence.

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Opinion

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

Letters Re: Are extreme solutions really a solution?

Scientists should have realized by now that reducing the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is no easy task. There is no definite solution that can stop global warming; we can only slow the process down by so much through the input of everyone’s effort worldwide. Much of our economy today has been driven towards technology that can help sustain our way of living.

Technological advances, however, come at a great cost and people depend on this technology a bit too much. Scientists are thinking about large scale plans to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere without even looking at the root of the problem.

Vehicles in North American society today use up a lot of energy per person.

Many people rely on cars to commute and travel by themselves. Imagine the billions of people around the world traveling by one person per car. A lot of energy is used up and the amount of carbon dioxide released rises exponentially. Hybrid cars may have been a great technological advance during the past few years, but that solves nothing if the world population is still highly dependent on fossil fuels. Great inventions such as the electric car had been released years ago. These cars did not produce any gas emissions whatsoever and yet they were sued by oil companies.

People have become selfish by trying to maximizing their own profits without looking at the big picture. How could scientists even think about creating carbon dioxide-sequestering algal blooms or launch sun shields into space without

even considering what produces the largest amount of carbon dioxide in the world today?

Most of these large scale plans become utterly useless since it poses a potential threat to the environment if the plan was initiated. People should stop circling the issue of dependence on fossil fuels. Stop trying to act smart by making great discoveries that may actually destroy the Earth. Face the facts that we are indeed reaching the oil peak, humanity’s greatest fear in present day.

There will always be positive and negative consequences for our actions so stop denying reality and go back to the drawing board.

— Calvin Cheung Planning first year Re: February 6 response to “Down but not out” I’d like to dispute all of the points made in this letter. Firstly that we (coop students) should not be competing with “people who need jobs for actual monetary support” for work experience.

Who in co-op gets a job purely for work experience? Has monetary support never factored into the equation?

Think for just a second; most everybody needs money. I know the jobs I have had through co-op have helped me out immensely in funding my education, not to mention keeping a roof over my head and food in the cupboard.

Their second point, the ethics of taking a job from someone else, is also strange because you’re not taking anything from anyone if you interview

for a job and you’re the most qualified candidate. You’ve got to love the given example, the poor father with the malnourished baby. Do you plan to never take a job, for the reason that there will always be somebody who needs the money more than you? There always will be, so don’t bother waiting around and get out there and earn money.

About taking full-time positions from people, I know that I worked a hell of a lot harder and got a lot more done than some of my full-time co-workers. If I do a better job for less salary, I sure am not going to hold it against the employer if it comes down to my position or theirs, and they choose the student.

The third point made is the most ridiculous of all. First, the author suggests to ask for OSAP. Clearly the author has never had to apply, because it isn’t a matter of asking and receiving, and even the maximum is not enough to get through a year. It is also not free money; it is a loan that you will eventually pay interest on. Why end up paying the loan plus interest later when you can earn some of the money and offset what you might need in a loan? And the suggestion to study harder and get more scholarships, instead of working for a living? I’m not sure if they know how many scholarships are out there.

Is the author planning to study for an income their entire life?

Saying that if between OSAP and scholarships you cannot afford school than you should drop out is absolutely ridiculous too. There are a lot of students who did not have marks high

enough to get these big scholarships.

I’m one of those students, and I’ll tell you, I damn well earned this. Who are they to say who should or shouldn’t go to school? You don’t necessarily need a university degree, but you should have some sort of education, be it a trade, a diploma, or a degree, and someone’s financial situation does not decide which they are best suited for. To say that is incredibly naive and narrow-minded.

The reality is, if you’ve got knowhow and ambition, use them. Don’t be shy because someone told you other people need it more. You can’t get by on what you need, but instead it’s what you earn. It would seem to me that the author must not have ever held a job, and instead has always been getting by on somebody else’s buck and/or scholarship money. They might not have caught on to this yet, but marks in school and success in the workplace aren’t necessarily hand in hand. The author should know, their little reminder to co-op students is not wanted, and I hope when they’re done studying for income, the working world gives them a swift kick where it counts.

— Luke Yaraskavitch Physics fourth year Re: February 6 response to “One day, there can be peace” Alex, when I last talked to you, you were standing in front of the Israel on Campus booth in the SLC vendor’s alley, bending over backwards to justify

the war in Gaza. Now you insist “my friend, Israel wants peace!”

I am nearly livid with your glib revisionism. “Israel wants peace”? Actions speak louder than words, “my friend,” so let’s examine Israel’s actions. Settlement expansion is universally recognized as one of the biggest issues keeping the Palestinians away from the negotiation table. You must conclude, then, that if Israel was really serious about peace, they would have at least halted new construction in the occupied territories. Yet the opposite is true; from 1999 to 2007, the population of Israeli settlers in the West Bank increased by nearly 100,000 to 276,000. And in 2008 alone, the pace of construction increased 60 per cent over the previous year. These are not the actions of an Israel that wants peace.

It seems that you are unable to deduce for yourself why it is that the Palestinians seem to “hate” Israel so much.

Allow me to make it clear for you. The Palestinians have been subject to a 60year-long occupation. Their economy continues to be suffocated. Israel has razed Palestinian homes in the West Bank and built settlements on top of them. Palestinians are denied freedom of movement in their own land, and are subject to arbitrary curfews. In short, Israel has taken away their dignity.

What you must understand is that for the Palestinians, the peace process is not only about the cessation of hostilities.

Palestinians don’t simply want another ceasefire. Palestinians want justice.

See opposite

Opinion

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

7

Letters So when you write “Israel is again at the negotiating table trying to stop the rockets [...] from Gaza,� you must understand that what Israel is offering, namely “peace� without justice, is simply not enough for Palestinians. If Israel wants peace, then Israel must offer justice. Then and only then will they find willing partners in the Palestinians. — Derek Kraan

You would have been better off to replace the word “junk� with something like “penis or vagina� or even “genitalia.�

Sue Johanson may have “broadened your mind,� but she certainly did not broaden your vocabulary. — Kayla Orr Sexuality, Marriage, and Family third year

Re: Granny who won’t put down the vibrator

Perhaps I’ll also begin this letter in the same unconventional approach that Gregory Cohen’s “plea for informed opinions� begins with: I am a Palestinian and, as you would expect, I am pro-Palestine.

I really appreciate Cohen’s quest for finding a resolution to the tensions in the Middle East and, in particular, the Israel-Palestine conflict. Before I give my input on this though, there are a few interesting arguments pointed out in his letter that I’d like to address first.

Cohen, in his article, is making two false assumptions regarding Hamas.

The first being that Hamas is merely a military movement and the second being that Hamas is a totalitarian government that uses means of oppression against the Palestinian people.

Hamas’ own popularity among Palestinians stems, in part, from social and welfare services. Among these services are school and hospital construction.

Contrary to Cohen’s claim that “the majority of Hamas’ funding goes toward the smuggling of weapons,� and according to the Israeli scholar Reuven Paz, “approximately 90 per cent of the organization’s work is in social, welfare, cultural, and educational activities.�

Cohen points out that it would be a “fundamental mistake to assume Hamas is a legitimate government.� That begs the question, what defines a legitimate government? A government, by its very definition, is “a body that controls and regulates a nation, organization, or people.� Hamas being democratically

While I read Anya Lomako’s “Sexually Illuminated� column from January 30, I was thrilled to see her acknowledge the need to shed a positive light on the terminology for male and female genitalia. I was about to move to the next article with a smile on my face, until I read the bolded text at the very end of the article. For those who did not have the chance to read it, it said, “For any questions about the location or behaviour of your junk, please email alomako@imprint.uwaterloo.ca.�

This statement ruined the whole article for me. I find it hypocritical to write an article praising the use of anatomically correct language and in the next sentence use a word like “junk� to describe sexual organs. Sex organs are not “junk� and to compare them to it is juvenile and shows that you did not take all of what Sue Johanson had to say to heart. Use of a word like this in an otherwise very well written article compromises your credibility and makes me question how genuine you are about the topics you are reporting on.

In a column called “Sexually Illuminated,� this is the last place I would expect to see such poor wording around genitalia. Your whole article highlighted how there is a strong need for better language and to be able to teach children without shame or discomfort. Using a word like junk just perpetuates these things. Sex organs should be celebrated!

Re: Plea for informed opinions

elected, along with the fact that it has ruled and regulated Gaza since then, makes it a legitimate government. The fact that some countries consider it to be a terrorist organization is irrelevant.

In many nations, the mainstream considers the current Israeli government a terrorist government, yet that does not dispute its legitimacy.

Amid Hamas’ victory in the elections, the United States, the European Union and Arab states all imposed sanctions and suspended all foreign aid, upon which many Palestinians depend.

Over 2006 and 2007, the United States spent $59 million on supplying guns, ammunition, and training to Palestinian Fatah activists to take on Hamas.

Furthermore, the Palestinian Authority initiated a campaign of assassinations and abductions against Hamas.

Hamas was not given a chance by the international community or Fatah to rule Palestine.

Moving on to the recent IsraelHamas conflict, the unlawful use of phosphorous weapons, hundreds of civilian deaths, four thousand homes completely destroyed, and 50,000 Palestinians displaced in a span of three and a half weeks clearly shows that, if Israel did any effort in distinguishing between militants and civilians, it did a terrible job at doing so. The argument that Hamas uses civilians as human shields contradicts with Hamas’ popularity among Palestinians and ignores the fact that Gaza is one of the most densely populated areas in the world.

With Palestinians in Gaza being deprived from the most basic human needs and with tens of thousands of Israeli settlers in the West Bank, the current stance of the Israel-Palestine conflict is very complicated. I believe that a reasonable solution would involve mutual efforts by both Israelis and Palestinians. A combination of a ceasefire and reopening of the Palestinian borders would definitely be a step in the right direction. That, along with a

gradual withdraw from the West Bank, would definitely improve the situation.

Trying to punish Palestinians for electing Hamas and imposing sanctions against them would do nothing but push Palestinians towards radicalism.

On the other hand, once Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank find that sanctions and blockades are no longer imposed upon them, their need to resort to violence would be far less prominent.

The strategy of a party refusing to accept the existence of the other proved to be a failure. Israel has to accept the right of Palestinians to exist and, likewise, Palestinians have to accept the right of Israelis to exist; coexistence is the key. Once both parties realize that, then, and only then, we can hope for peace. — Islam El-Ashi Software Engineering Collective punishment is a bad idea I wish that Tom Levesque had performed some research on his MiddleEast peace plan before he picked up his pen and managed to throw half of campus into a tizzy. If he had, he would have discovered that collective punishment of civilians is not a novel idea, nor an effective strategy. He might even have figured out that collective punishment is a war crime. Instead, Levesque ended up with an editorial that offended many and enlightened none.

The collective punishment of civilians has been used throughout history and continues to be used today. If you think collective punishment is a good idea, you should research the concept and arm yourself with some concrete examples of this controversial method of war. One example is the French Resistance. During World War II, France was occupied by the Nazis. As many are aware, the celebrated French Resistance was instrumental to the liberation of France. The Resistance was such an irritant to the Nazis and the Vichy regime that they embarked on a plan of collective punishment. Whenever the Resistance managed set off a bomb or derail a train, the authorities would round up civilians and execute them. Just like Levesque’s plan, the Nazis believed that French citizens would participate in some sort of community responsibility and stop further acts of resistance.

Despite the murder of thousands of French civilians, the Resistance did not fail. Instead, they seemed to strengthen their resolve. With the help of French public intellectuals such as Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus, the Resistance determined that it was indeed ethical to continue resisting the Vichy regime.

With every act of sabotage, members of the resistance knew that innocent civilians would be murdered in retaliation, but they reasoned that this would be the cost of defeating the occupiers. In this simple example, we might determine that a strategy of collective punishment is not an effective strategy.

Collective punishment is a war crime and has been named as such by the Fourth Geneva Convention of 1949.

It is not considered a war crime simply because the authors of the Geneva Conventions are soft on terror or biased against certain political ideals. Instead, they classified collective punishment as a war crime after consideration of cases such as the French Resistance.

Some might argue there is a difference between collectively punishing the French and collectively punishing the Palestinians. They might base this in a belief that the French Resistance was somehow more ethical than any contemporary Palestinian movements. I would reject this argument as irrelevant because an innocent civilian is always an innocent civilian.

In the January 30 edition of Imprint, Paul Mackinnon responded to Levesque’s editorial with the shame that “my university’s official student newspaper is not more discerning in what they print, and that the level of discourse has been set so regretfully low.� Sadly, I too must share Mackinnon’s shame that we must debate the practice of something as horrific and barbaric as collective punishment. I have heard many outraged voices around campus complaining about Levesque’s editorial.

The hard truth is that Levesque simply did not know what he was saying. He had no true understanding of the historical or contemporary uses of collective punishment or even Palestinian politics.

I sincerely hope he uses this uncomfortable event to learn more about these issues. Until then, the level of discourse has indeed been set low and I hope that we can change this. — Britt Baumann Sociology eighth year

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Opinion

8

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

Cheaters and cheating

N

o, I am not talking about the type of cheating you will find in UW’s policy #71 on academic offences.

I am talking about the type of cheating that happens between two significant others, or two peas in a pod, or two star crossed lovers, or… I think you get the idea. There are no gender rules here because the acts I am about to describe are equally applicable to males and females, whether they like it or not.

I am in my fourth year here at UW and I feel that I have had enough experience with cheating, be it first hand, or through watching the demise of my closest friends, to discuss it. I want to share the things I have learned

nbest@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

aren’t there either. If your significant other has no qualms about you smooching other people, caressing someone else’s hair, or sharing a dance with someone who is not them, then you should

of your partner, don’t ever assume they are okay with it.

Let me tell you a story about my very first boyfriend. I’ll refer to him as Schmuck. Schmuck

Cheating is the pink elephant in the room that no one likes to talk about until it shows up in the bedroom. from being in sexual relationships since I was in the ninth grade. But first, we need to get something straight. What is cheating?

From my personal experience, and some words from a famous psychologist, cheating is “doing something that you wouldn’t do in front of your significant other.” It sounds pretty simple, but here are some examples: if you aren’t going to sit on someone’s lap in front of your boyfriend, or you’re not going to buy that girl at the end of the bar a drink because the person you are dating is with you, then you probably shouldn’t do it when they

CHRISTINE NANTEZA

feel free to do these things. However, I will caution you all, and I mean this with all seriousness when I say it: unless you are 100 percent sure that what you are doing is harmless in the eyes

picked me out of a group of girls in high school; he wined (read: beer) and dined (read: pizza) me from the start. My girlfriends at the time were more excited for me than I was for myself because one of the hottest guys in the school wanted to date me. It was like they struck gold, and let the instant popularity ensue. Shortly after all the excitement wore down, the expectations of being in my first relationship rolled in. I was 14, and I wanted to make my new boyfriend happy.

He was 16, and I bet you can imagine what he wanted. I’ll save the story of what happened between us for another day, but I can say that I look back on that time in my life, with a “how could I have been so dumb?” and a “my mother was right” resounding in my head. Schmuck loved attention, girls, drugs, parties, inebriation, and most of all, he loved being the perfect image of a good Christian boy in front of his parents and family. Months after we’d broken up, I found out that he had cheated on me with one of my friends while he was at a sleepover church camp. From that point on, I was never the same when it came to relationships. This is what happens to a girl after she is cheated on (or at least in my experience): You hate yourself — You think that if you were prettier, skinnier, smarter, or a better girl friend, he wouldn’t have cheated. Any form of selfblame that can possibly be conceived arises.

You hate the cheater — You also hate whoever knew, and did not tell you. You hate anyone who could have had the slightest bit of involvement.

You do stupid things — You ostracize your friends, you crash diet, and you want to change who you are. Some girls seek revenge, or try to ruin the other person’s reputation; but the stupidest thing girls do in these situations is blame the “other woman” more than the person they were dating.

You never trust the same way again— From here on, every relationship will involve haunting thoughts of whether or not your significant other would cheat on you, no matter how amazing they are, or how much you “say” you trust them, or how much you don’t want to think it.

You live a cold-hearted life —You are more concerned with protecting yourself from complete heartache than you are with being happy. People think you have a wall up, and they are right. Your wall is made up of reinforced steel, behind bricks and solid ice.

Okay, so maybe not everyone follows that rigid path of demise when they are cheated on, but it sure looks like it from what I have seen and experienced. I have seen amazing women in my life felled by the wandering acts of men. I have seen the most beautiful, smart, and amazing girls I have ever known get shattered into pieces because someone they loved cheated on them. I have seen it happen to men, too (women are not excused from the cruel things they do when in relationships). Women are equally selfish, likely to cheat and lie through their teeth to get and keep what they want. I remember a co-worker who cheated on her boyfriend all the time and bragged about it. I would ask her how she would feel if he did the same to her. She would always reply, “He would never cheat on me. Never. I know him.” We are all capable of doing horrible things, and I want to make sure that everyone is aware that sex does not mean a thing when it comes to cheating.

What can we do? How do we stop the heartache? How do we save people from going down in the bottomless pit of cheating? I can suggest some things that have helped me repair my soul and allowed me to love again.

Stop the lies — Lies are the root of all cheating; they are the seeds that grow into forests. If you cheated on someone in your past, do not lie about it to your new partner.

One day they will find out, and then you will have to relive the pain it caused, but with someone you have never cheated on. You do not have to do it on the first date saying, “Hi, I’m Amelia. I cheated on my last boyfriend with his best friend. Nice to meet you.” You should, however, do it sooner than later.

Once a cheater, not always a cheater — Sometimes all it takes for a person to realize that what they are doing is wrong is to lose the person they love, or to see the pain they are causing that person that actually matters. Honesty is the key and communication is the lock. If you are a recovering cheater or cheatee, there is hope.

People do change, and can grow up.

Do not be the “other” person — If the person you might hook up with has a partner, do everyone a favour and walk away.

It is the single hardest thing to do, because the idea of being the “other” person makes you feel like you are not the one cheating or doing anything wrong, your object of affection is.

Well, you are doing something wrong. If you wouldn’t want something like that to happen to you, then you should never be a part of it.

If the person you really want to be with has a significant other, then they should be ready to leave them for you before anything starts.

If this person has already cheated repeatedly, what makes you think they won’t do that to you if one day they become yours? Do not think you are extra special because if you are helping them get away with it now, they can get away with it later.

If you do cheat, come clean — It will cleanse your conscience and you should receive honesty points. It may be extremely hard to do, but if your partner finds out some other way, you’ll lose every chance you have of rekindling the relationship with them.

By coming clean, you are being honest and humble, and you may be able to save the relationship. Unfortunately, you will have to make some serious repairs along the way.

If you want to build a healthy, happy, and trusting relationship, you need to start from the beginning. Honesty breeds trust, and trust makes a successful relationship. I have been cheated on, but I have never cheated on anyone before simply because I would never wish the same pain on anyone. Cheating is the pink elephant in the room that no one likes to talk about until it shows up in the bedroom.

What they don’t know can hurt them.

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

Career robots A

s critical of any democratic process as I am, it is impossible to take away from it one of its most crucial benefits — democracy exposes ignorance.

Last week’s Feds elections were no different.

Before this, I was apt to think of Waterloo as a different sort of intellectual capital. It was a saving alternative to a world that was disillusioned and skeptic of academic pontificates and aimless professional students, schooled in the art of complicating even the simplest ideas. It seemed ready to redefine the primary purpose of just about every university in the developed world: truth. Only this time, truth meant getting out in the real world to witness the realities instead of the old method of constructing variables in an armchair. It seemed we were about to finally define an education that was the perfect mix of theory and practical.

Alas it seemed we mixed the practical in a bit too much.

In my time here, I always wondered what it was about the theory that seemed short. In my classes, I felt inhibited, like I was in strange company. Occasionally, I would encounter a stripe of ignorance and prejudice from one of my fellow students but I would lovingly brush it aside, thinking my colleagues to be above such rubble. I had expected more — so much more from the students and the staff here. While most other aspects had satisfied me and surpassed expectations, I seemed to be hitting walls on the academic side. I dismissed my intuition as wanton criticism. “Everything was fine,” I told myself, “you worry over too much.” The ominous feeling remained but I ignored it.

Then my Eureka came.

My Eureka was not as joyful as I had imagined, the ultimate revelation

Opinion

9

eaboyeji@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

replete with singing angels and messianic pronouncements. It was painful and mournful; short straight stripes of ignorance that elicited a whelp of hopelessness and helplessness from me.

After reading a series of ignorant comments generated by the buzz over the elections, my skepticism returned to me with much stronger force. It was like being forced to recant a strongly held faith. As if that was not enough, I saw other evidence of ignorance’s ugly colour as I navigated online forums for discussions on the elections. Their comments presented one simple argument: the value of academic pursuit in itself is meaningless; only the jobs mattered. I ultimately became convinced that we had approached the tipping point of what I had always suspected could be the Frankenstein of UW’s unique model of co-op education — the career robot.

For context sake, allow me to properly distinguish the career robot from the motivated student. Career robots are not motivated students — which I believe, are a rightly intended consequence of the unique form of education we have here.

Motivated students are students who apply the practical implications of their life experiences to academic theories and develop new ideas based on the breadth of their knowledge and the depth of their experience.

On the other hand, the career robot is a student who sums up his purpose in life with the most mundane, unimaginative expression: a job. For them, life is not about the mosaic of diversity, the gift of community or even the continuous search for truth, its simply about a job. While they may have a cold-hearted competence that pays heed only to the highest bidder, like a robot, they lack two of the three

most important elements of service to humanity, compassion and conscience. Far from your thinking, career robots are not those people who live only to continually dwell in the DC library. They are omnipresent even in those places you would hardly expect; Imprint, Feds, WPIRG, the Engineers without borders. Their mission? To build a resume! Like chameleons they hide under the convenient cover of altruism whilst pursuing their preprogrammed career mission. Career robots have a most pathetic view of a most beautiful world- one that is coloured with green bills.

The impact of these destructive elements on our university’s thought process is telling. As I viewed our students’ shameful ignorance on display online, I became aware of a particularly surprising development. Career robots were apt to hold a rather dim view of the less specialized disciplines like the arts and the general sciences. As one of them commented, “What did we come to Waterloo for? I also don’t understand the morons who take Arts and general science. I mean, where the fuck is this going to take you?

Take something specialized like an engineering, optometry, or finance stream so you can actually be productive and not some dumb shit philosopher.”

Surprisingly, some other comments were in the same vein. Clearly, career robots have so fractured a view of university education that they view a single discipline as more “productive” than the other. In their error, they fail to realize that the beauty of a university education is that it is centered around and interdisciplinary quest for life’s truths. This is indeed the fundamental difference between a university and a

armel chesnais

trade school or specialized school. This garbled view of university education that career robots have is UW’s single greatest inhibitor. In the end, the result of our foray in this unique form of education may be the radical opposite of the problem of career students we attempted to solve 50 years ago. Worse still, we may be building up a cache of potentially hollow nut cases whose career focused lives may lead them downhill in the unfortunate event of a life changing recession.

Career robots must be rooted out of the University by a more streamlined admissions process that gives priority to more conscientious students that are truly motivated by service to community. If this is not done, I fear that we may end up stuck with a generation of half-educated students that are averse to the most important ideals of truth, social justice, critical thinking and expression that are the true trade in stock of any institution.

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Campus Bulletin UPCOMING

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Friday, February 13, 2009 Award for Exceptional Teaching by a Student – nominations are due in the Centre for Teaching Excellence, MC 4055, no later than 4:30 p.m. For info www.cte.uwaterloo.ca/awards/index. html or call Verna at ext 33857.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 The Sexual Assault Support Centre of Waterloo Region is seeking female volunteers to join us, on our information night from 6 to 9 p.m., at 201-151 Frederick Street, Kitchener. To register call 519-571-0121 or or heather@sascwr.org.

Saturday, February 21, 2009 The Chinese Stem Cell Initiative, partnering with Canadian Blood Service-OneMatch, that will be promoting a Stem Cell Registration Drive to help patients with leukemia and other related disorders. Will be held at First Markham Place, Markham Ontario.

Info: chinesestemcell.com; onematch. ca; 416-760-6181.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009 Healthy Active Promotion Network presents The HAPN Great Race at 6 p.m. Registration will be in the SLC from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on February 25, 26 and 27. Teams of two compete in a race across campus, going to different check points and figuring out all the indoor tunnels around campus.

Saturday, March 21, 2009 Homer Watson House and Gallery is pleased to present a bus trip to Canada Blooms in Toronto from 8:45 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more info www.homerwatson. on.ca or 519-748-4377.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009 2009 Autonomous Racing Challenge – build autonomous robots – race for first prize of $500 to $1,000. Early registration deadline April 1, 2009. For details www.RobotRacing.org.

Sunday, May 3, 2009 “Walk to Remember 2009� – Bereaved Families of Ontario-Midwestern Region. 9 a.m. registration at Waterloo Memorial Recreation Centre. Lots to do from silent auction to children’s activities and prizes! For info 519-8948344 or www.bfomidwest.org.

Exchanges for undergraduates and graduates – 2009-2010 academic years: MICEFA, Paris, France and the Chinese University of Hong Kong internal deadline: March 17, 2009. For info and application forms please contact Maria Lango, International Programs, Waterloo International, Needles Hall 1101, room 1113, ext 33999 or by email: mlango@uwaterloo.ca.

General casting call – independent filmmakers looking for acting talent, full cast, extras and potential crew members. Contact Black Cloak Entertainment at casting@blackcloak.ca.

Tune in to Sound 100.3 FM radio to hear DJ Cool with lots of music, entertainment, helpful info, weather and more. www.soundfm.ca >listen or www. ckmsfm.ca. “Rime of the Ancient Mariner� opens Valentine’s Day until March 10 at the Barber Gallery, 167 Suffolk Street, W., in Guelph. 519-824-0821 for info.

ONGOING FRIDAYS The Fine Arts Film Society presents a free Contemporary Malaysian film series in ECH 1220 at 7 p.m.: February 13 – Village People Radio Show.

CAREER SERVICES WORKSHOPS

Monday, February 23, 2009 Successfully Negotiating Job Offers – workshop is geared towards graduating students. 4:30 to 5:30 p.m., TC 1208.

Career Interest Assessment – 2:30 to 4 p.m., TC 1112.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 Success on the Job – 3:30 to 5 p.m., TC 1208.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 Business Etiquette and Professionalism – 3:30 to 4:30 p.m., TC 1208.

CHURCH SERVICE St. Bede’s Chapel at Renison College offers worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m.

Come and walk the labyrinth the second Thursday of each month, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. For more info contact Megan at 519-884-4404, ext 28604 or www.renison.uwaterloo.ca/ministry-centre.

Parkminster United is an affirming, liberal congregation open to all, regardless of race, sexual orientation, age, ability, economic, or family status. 275 Erb Street, E., Waterloo. Sunday services at 10 a.m. For more info www.parkuc.ca.

at 519-744-7645, ext 229.

Best Buddies is a national charitable organization matching students with individuals with intellectual disabilities living in the community. Hours are very flexible – compatible with busy schedules. More information contact: bestbuddiesuw@gmail.com.

Resume builder! Volunteers needed to visit people with Alzheimer disease through Alzheimer Society Volunteer Companion Program. Call Jill at 519742-1422 or volunteer@alzheimerkw. com.

Drive. Deliver. Befriend – Community Support Connections needs volunteers to help drive seniors to appointments, deliver a lunch meal or befriend an isolated senior. Mileage is reimbursed.

Contact 519-772-8787 or info@communitysupportconnections.org.

Volunteer Action Centre, 519-7428610 or www.volunteerkw.ca, has many opportunities available – visit the website or call today!

VOLUNTEERING Career Services volunteers needed for 2009-2010 to fill two types of volunteer positions: student career assistant and student marketing assistant. Depending on the position, you will gain valuable job search, marketing, and career-related skills by either promoting events and services or by helping other students in their career planning and job search. Open to regular and co-op students who are creative and possess strong interpersonal and communication skills. Applications available in Career Services, TC 1214, or from our webpage at careerservices.uwaterloo.ca.

Deadline is March 9, 2009.

City of Waterloo needs volunteers for summer 2009 events: Uptown Country Festival on Saturday, June 20, Royal Medieval Faire on September 19, Busker Festival needs new talent for interesting Board positions such as Director of Corporate Sponsorship ; Director of Marketing and Media Co-ordinator.

55+ Urban Poling Club needs indoor walk leaders on Friday mornings. Email volunteer@waterloo.ca or 519-8886488 for more info.

Volunteers needed – the English tutor program is in constant need of volunteers to tutor international students.

Volunteering is an essential part of student life at UW. Apply online at www. iso.uwaterloo.ca.

Volunteer with a child at their school and help improve their self-esteem and confidence. One to three hours a week commitment. Canadian Mental Health

VOLUNTEER

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009 ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

STUDENT AWARD & FINANCIAL AID Office is second floor Needles Hall, 519888-4567, ext 36605, safa.uwaterloo.ca.

February 19: OSAP Application Deadline (full funding) for winter and spring term.

February 27: Deadline for OSAP Reviews (appeals) for winter only and fall and winter terms. Last day to submit Full-Time Bursary/Award Application for winter only term.

LIVE & LEARN LECTURES-WPL Lectures from 7 to 9 p.m. at Waterloo Public Library, 35 Albert Street, Waterloo. For info 519-886-1310, ext 124.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 Converting telematic theatre: a new fad or the future of live theatre.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 Mr. Plow meets the Beatles.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Is it normal for my teenager to be gambling?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009 Saying uncle: speaking under torture or coercion.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009 Necromedia.

Hot off the press every Friday morning

Classified

ENJOY R E A D I N G WEEK!

HELP WANTED

HOUSING

SERVICES

Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, KW Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2.

Imprint requires a distribution driver to distribute Imprint Friday mornings. Must be 21+ years of age and a G license. Please contact ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca or 519-888-4048.

Behavioural therapist wanted for autistic teen two afternoons per week.

Full training and good wage. 10 minute drive from Univeristy. Email resume to Darla at steffen.darla@rogers.com.

Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Joanne at 519-746-1411 for more details.

Large furnished room with extra large storage and walk-in closet. Well kept house in upscale area near UW on Culpepper Drive. Short bus ride directly to the university. $350/month – remaining days in February is free - until the end of April. Female preferred. Phone 519745-7485 and ask for Pam.

Does your thesis or major paper need a fresh pair of eyes to catch English spelling and grammar errors? Thesis English editing, $50/hour. Five business day turnaround. Neal Moogk-Soulis, ncmoogks@uwaterloo.ca.

Web Administrator Needed Immediately

Apply Now!

Come join the Imprint staff as a Web Administrator.

Unix knowledge an asset but we will train.

You just need to ensure Imprint is published on our website by 5:00 p.m. each Friday.

We’ll ensure you meet new people, improve your resume, learn valuable skills and have fun!

Web Administrators are elected and receive all the benefits of Imprint staff members.

Apply at any Staff Meeting held each Monday at 12:30 p.m. at the Imprint Office, SLC room 1116 or phone 519-888-4048.

COURSES

SP-100 Forest Firefighting course to be held in Kitchener/Waterloo, Ontario March 11-15, 2009. Registration limited to the first 32 applicants. Course will be held during evening hours during the week. To register, please call Wildfire Specialists Inc., 2233 Radar Road, Suite 5, Hanmer, Ontario, P3P 1R2. Toll free 1-877-381-5849. Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources accredited. No guarantee of employment.

Fall 2009 Accepting Applications NOW! For more information call 519-748-5220 ext. 3751

Teaching English as a Second Language Post-Degree Program

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Features

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009 features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Best friend keeping you broke? imerrow@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

It isn’t their fault, of course. They just happen to have a knack for living large. Your friend is entitled to their lifestyle as much as you are to yours. However, if your best friend is directly or indirectly pressuring you to match their monthly spending (when you don’t want to), you need to do something about it. Saving your money is important, and you can do it without writing off your best friend.

The most important first step in paring down your “best friend budget” is to let them know how you feel. Whether you have the money or not, if spending money on something in particular makes you feel uncomfortable, tell them. All it takes is, “you know, I really felt like last weekend got out of control money-wise. Pitching in to rent a Lamborghini for the day was fun, but I would have had just as much fun renting unicycles.”

Details will vary, but be specific about what bothers you. Otherwise you risk sounding like you didn’t like the spending time with them, when all that irritated you was one expensive portion of your night out.

Sing a-long the line

T

he centerpiece of a “fobby Asian” night out on the town almost invariably ends up with the group going to a karaoke box. Your friends squeeze into a small room, order a round of overpriced shots and proceed to belting out the latest greatest mando or canto pop songs. Usually as the night proceeds, singing on key tends to be less and less likely as drinks pile up. Karaoke often proceeds or follows a night of clubbing and partying, or it can just be the party itself. In any event “singing K” is one of the most popular leisure activities among Asians.

In the West, karaoke is still somewhat of novelty, despite becoming more widespread in the last decade. Among the non-Asian crowd it’s performed in pubs and bars, where patrons sing on a small stage in front of other bar goers. In Asia, karaoke is largely confined to karaoke boxes, which contains lots of small private rooms equipped with TV screens and karaoke machines.

First invented in the 1970s by a musician named Daisuke Inoue in Kobe, Japan. Karaoke comes from a combination of the Japanese words for empty (kara) and orchestra (oke). However, Inoue never patented his invention and missed out on the chance for millions of dollars. Instead, a Filipino man named Robert del Rosario patented what is now known as the karaoke machine in the 1980s. By the 1990s, Karaoke had spread all over eastern and south-east Asia. It’s impossible to go to a major Japanese city today and not find at least half dozen karaoke boxes per block. Cities with large Asian populations such as Toronto and Vancouver feature several dozen karaoke boxes catering largely to an Asian crowd. Even our very own Waterloo has a karaoke box, located in the university plaza. It’s the place to find drunk fobby Asians on a Friday or Saturday night (heck probably every night).

So why do Asians of all kinds of nationalities love singing K so much? Well, who doesn’t like singing along to their favourite tunes when they’re by themselves. Karaoke is just a chance for you to show off to all your friends your lovely pipes.

yliu@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Even, if you don’t have lovely pipes, no one will care by the end of the night when you’re all wasted and screaming out some random Jay Chou or Backstreet Boys song. Inhibitions get loosened and bonds formed when performing cheesy pop songs in front of your friends.

If you’ve ever listened to mainstream Asian music, you’ll notice how the overwhelming majority of songs are geared towards karaoke. No complicated melodies, harmonies, or notes too high/low.

The vocal range required for Whitney Houston’s “I will always love you” isn’t something you’ll ever find in a mainstream Asian pop song.

Something I’ve noticed from karaoke experience is that fobby Asians tend to be much more adept at singing in key than their non-Asian counterparts. Morever, girls are soooo much better than guys at singing, though not nearly as good as rapping as the guys. Though if you’re a guy and can really belt it out, be prepared to be mobbed by all the girls in your party.

Here’s some basic karaoke etiquette so you can drag all your friends out to a K-night party: • Guys can sing love ballad duets with girls, but not with other guys until at least 10 drinks have passed.

• Melancholy songs are okay, but need to be balanced out by an equal amount of uptempo songs. (Unless your party is all girls, in which case all ballads all the time is okay) • Guys should never sing in falsetto (unless your name is Freddie Mercury) • Doing the dance to a song is only funny after a three drink minimum • Straight males singing boy band songs is acceptable inside the karaoke box.

• Singing in Chinese is optional, unless your party has greater than three fobs, in which case it’s mandatory.

• Alternative rock usually makes for bad karaoke (see all Radiohead songs).

• If someone takes a picture of you inside a karaoke box, you must pose with the peace sign.

To avoid pressure scenarios, set your friend’s expectations early on for what you are prepared to spend on a given activity. If a mall trip is planned, but you only feel like window shopping, let your friend know what your plan is. That way your understanding friend will not expect you to help them wipe out the entire American Eagle sale rack, and you won’t feel guilty about it later.

If bringing up the subject of money with your best bud is too awkward, there are some other techniques that can accomplish the job without totally sabotaging their epic plans.

To start, when out with your friend be sure to only bring the money you’re prepared to spend, and that’s it. In cash. Be prepared to be offered a loan in this scenario — and be prepared to politely refuse. Also get ready to witness your friend go ahead and buy whatever they want without you, because fair is fair.

You shouldn’t make them feel pressured to not spend money, so let them go wild!

Money can tear friendships apart, but you don’t have to let that happen. By dodging your friend’s grand schemes time and time again

your best friend may be left wondering what the problem is. Right or wrong, they enjoy spending money. Be prepared to make concessions once in a while to make them happy. Even better, take the initiative to make up fun things to do together that are within your price range. If you leave all the social organization to your friend The Great Gatsby, and it can only go one way.

Classic nights out for less include (but are not limited to): the movie night at home, window shopping (don’t bring your wallet), a snow-ball fight, a study party, a cook-off, a walk through Waterloo Park, campus events like Warrior Weekends, or anything else you can think of that does not require your debit card. Making up free things to do is made easier by inviting other creatively frugal friends along with you — in addition to offering you moral support, they will naturally help sway the group to a less expensive itinerary.

By being honest with your best buddy about what your bank account can handle, you can save some relationship problems later on down the line. Set their expectations early on so you can avoid stressful pressure scenarios.

Play their way at least some of the time, but be the plan-maker more often to steer your plans out of the red and into the black. That way you can spend more time and less money with your best friend, making memories that are truly priceless.

Speeding chilly-dogs

50 UW students ran 5 km around Ring Road to support peer to peer support and hot dogs Pavan Bahra reporter

I

t happens to us all. School is piling up, your body is starting to rebel against having to process 15 units of alcohol a night, and your parents are going crazy about your marks — or lack thereof.

We cope the best we can. We bitch to our friends, our family, our lovers, and we get ourselves back on track. Our roommates might tell us about kickboxing, so we join up to blow off some steam.

We go home and pig out on real food — getting away from Michalina.

But what if we don’t have friends? What if we don’t have any family? What if we can’t even speak the same language as the people we interact with on a daily basis?

These, among others, are the problems faced by our fellow students here at UW. Dr Johan Reis, and Rachel Mahrer from UW Health Services have created the MATES program (Moods Assistance Through Educational Support). MATES is a student outreach program that seeks to promote the well being and of students coping with mental health issues. Reis realized that the large size of our campus could be intimidating to those who don’t really know anyone, namely international students, or those that didn’t speak English, thus he created the MATES program two years ago.

Saturday morning was the programs second annual “Chilly Dog Run,” a fun 5 kilometre run or walk around the Ring Road. Close to 50 students

“

and faculty participated in the event, which was an astounding success in raising awareness and spreading the word about MATES. The Chilly Dog Run included a brief pep talk by Reis, the 5 km run, which was followed by hot dogs and other food for the participants and finally, a lecture by UW psychology’s own Prof. Richard Ennis. Reis commented on the significance of the name, ‘Chilly Dog’. “Many students at our university feel left out in the cold — like a Chilly Dog- by the rigors of academia, the excellence that UW demands often entails great sacrifices to ones mental and social lives,” he said According to Reis the fact that our renowned co-op system leaves much to be desired when it comes to a stable school environment, and all too often ,the problems faced by our student body are a reflection of today’s new web based world. Students spend too much time on MSN or Facebook, not interacting with others in a positive, face to face way.

Reis also cites the intense focus of academics for a multitude of mental health issues, from loneliness to severe depression.

MATES has many different facets, including Running MATES, a program for student to get out and get some exercise, while meeting new people.

Mahrer preaches the benefits of running. “Many students that get involved become good friends, and endorphins are always great,” she said. MATES also has a peer to peer counselling program, it is staffed by volunteer students from UW. These students mainly come from the psychology and social development studies, and are integral to the running of MATES.

Many students at our university feel left out in the cold — like a Chilly Dog— by the rigors of academia, the excellence that UW demands often entails great sacrifices to ones mental and social lives

“

T

here are those among us who have the rare ability to cause everyone around them to spend more money. Undiscovered, they’re known as social visionaries, creating fantastic plans for every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night of the term — no matter what the cost. Any opportunity to shop, eat out, travel, party, gamble, or take a taxi is fair game — preferably in combinations.

They may not be aware of the liquefying effect they have on others, because the evidence stays hidden in their friends’ pockets and purse bottoms as a messy pile of receipts. When you wake up on Sunday, you’re left wondering where yet another $40 ATM withdrawal disappeared to.

Avoiding this walking economic stimulus package of a person might be a good idea if you’re not feeling too flush, or if you find it difficult to say no to venti gingerbread lattes from Starbucks. This person might help you live for today, but you feel guilty about it tomorrow. Avoidance three out of four weekends a month might be the only option you can afford – unless this wonderful, creative, and uninhibited person also happens to be your best friend.

$$

$

Making up free things to do is made easier by inviting other creatively $ frugal friends along with you — in addition to offering you moral support, they will naturally help sway the group to a less expensive itinerary.

— Health Services’ Dr Johan Reis

Arts & Entertainment

Songs

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009 arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Lovers for

Hunter Colosimo reporter

A listing of some romantic tunes to get you started this Valentine’s Day

E

very February 14 we are reminded of how sad, pathetic, and desperate we are for love, and affection. Frankly, I think Valentine’s Day is lame but I, like the majority of men, have needs (sex) and wants (fellatio) and will pretty much bend over backwards to cash in on this opportunity. While I won’t conceal my cunning ability to take advantage of this opportunity, this hallmark holiday provides an excellent opportunity to make a hypnotic sex-themed mixtape.

So gentlemen, please read this next paragraph with your undivided attention.

There are two ways you can deal with this materialistic “holiday.” The first way, or the easy way as I see it, is to do what any smarmy, unoriginal person would to go about pleasing his special lady friend — by giving an unoriginal gift. You can be a thoughtful genuine person and craft her a mixtape of the songs that remind you of her, along with songs that are amazing to bone to. Please take my advice: taking the easy way will only lead to unfulfilling handjobs in the back of a Honda Civic. So please return that ugly pink teddy bear with “hugs and kisses” written on its belly and get working on a mixtape.

Okay, so you have returned the teddy bear but you have no idea how to make a sex mixtape.

Should you put Rap? Trance? Country? What songs will get your special lady in the mood? Young squires, do not fear, over the years, I have thoughtfully collected an arsenal of songs that will get your lovers attention.That said, there are a variety of guidelines or rules to follow when making a sex-themed mixtape. Most importantly, you must understand that a mixtape is a unique and special entity. That is, you are using someone else’s words to describe your emotions and feelings for another person. Second, your mixtape must be consistent and flow naturally from beginning to end.

Thirdly, it must be honest.

Being the friendly cupid I am, I have compiled a list of 10 tracks that fulfill the aforementioned requirements and will get you at least 40 minutes. The majority of you will only get to about track three before reaching climax so enjoy tracks four through eight before hopping back on the saddle for tracks nine and ten. So with that in mind, Happy Valentine’s Day.

4) Outkast ft. Norah Jones — Take Off Your Cool This gem of a track is featured on the latter end of Outkast’s critically acclaimed album The Love Below. With a catchy guitar riff and the playful yet cohesive chemistry between Andre 3000 and Jones, one could only ask, why haven’t they done other recordings? Some may argue this song lacks lyrical supremacy; to those individuals, I say music speaks infinitely louder than words.

Sexiest line: Hey yaaa... Ba-doo-baaaa-ba-doo-baaaaa.”

1) Marvin Gaye — Let’s Get It On Without exaggerating, you could make seven mixtapes of just Marvin Gaye songs and it would work better than an overdosing combination of Viagara and Cialis. Plain and simple, this song is the anthem for sex. Everyone knows it, and everybody loves it. For those who think this song is overrated, overused, or just over the hill, you obviously haven’t experienced the soulful sounds of Mr. Marvin Gaye. May you R.I.P. Sexiest line: “ If the spirit moves you, let me groove you, Let your love come down!”

8) Otis Redding — Try A Little Tenderness A love-themed mixtape wouldn’t be a love-themed mixed tape without Otis Redding. With one of the greatest voices ever to be recorded in history, this song will give you and your lover more goosebumps than R.L. Stine. Sexiest line: “You’ve got to hold her, don’t squeeze her, never leave her, you got to try a little tenderness.”

2) Barry White — Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Babe I wish I had this kind of rhythm, and I wish I had a voice that is even faintly similar to the great Barry White. This song articulates everything that a love song should possess: a groovy bass line, a sexy voice, and lyrics that can make any sex fiend ejaculate prematurely. Sexiest line: “Girl, all I know is every time you’re here, I feel the change, Somethin’ moves, I scream your name, Do whatcha got to do” 3) Al Green — Let’s Stay Together True men aren’t afraid of telling women how they really feel; for that, Al Green is the manliest of men. This song alone is responsible for turning shitty relationships into healthy functional relationships. Sexiest line: “Let’s stay together, Lovin’ you whether, times are good or bad, happy or sad”

5) Prince — Kiss If you know anything about the ’80s you will know that Prince was the avatar of love, sex, and music. He gave Carmen Elecktra her name and put Morris Day and the Time in their respectful place. On this track, we get a mixture of funk and soul which make a delicious recipe for hopping on the good foot to do the bad thing. Sexiest line: You don’t have to be beautiful to turn me on, I just need your body baby, From dusk till dawn.”

6) James Brown — Get Up ( I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine Part 1 All hail the godfather of funk music. Funk in essence is sex. If any genre of music could be compared to sex, it would hands down be funk. With one of the greatest bass lines in history, this song truly will make you get up off of that thang. Sexiest line: “ Get On Up! Then shake your money maker” 7) Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings — Be Easy As a Neo soul and funk revivalist, Sharon Jones is our generation’s Aretha Franklin (but with a better voice). Her ability to sing about love and heartache in combination with a band that is tighter than a Borats “anus” will leave listeners in the sexiest of moods. Sexiest line: “Now if she waits, you should turn, leave her alone, she’ll come to you just as sure as you’re born.”

9) The Divynls — I Touch Myself At first listen, one could think, “This song isn’t romantic; it’s only about masturbation. Truthfully, given certain circumstances, sex can sometimes be lousy. So every now and then we need our own time for singular pleasures. That said, I don’t think there is a better song to heat up the mood than this classic track. Sexiest line: “I don’t want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself.”

10) Chris Isaak — Wicked Game For those of you who have seen this video, you can understand and appreciate why this song has made the mixtape. Say what you want about his fall from the music industry, this song truly defines the word “romance. “ With a great weeping voice backed by an incredible slide guitar, I still on occasion come in my pants when hearing this track. Sexiest line: “The world was on fire and no one could save me but you. It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do.”

Hearts lovingly drawn by Peter Trinh

14

Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

Mo Jangda

Amy LeBlanc

Caitlin McIntyre staff reporter

Mohammed Jangda staff reporter

L

ast Friday night’s Bomber concert series saw Jeremy Fisher— singer, musical performer, and War Child associate, in the spotlight. His show opened with acts from musicians Linda Ortega and Ron Lopata, followed by a performance by Hannah Georgas which included two duets with Fisher himself.

The concert donated some of the night’s proceeds to War Child Canada.

There was also a merchandise table run by War Child Canada volunteers. After the show Imprint managed to catch up to Fisher to ask him a few questions about his career. Fisher recently released his third album Goodbye Blue Monday, succeeding Back Porch Spirituals and Let it Shine.

“The album itself is similar to both really, except I was older and in a different place.” said Fisher “I take inspiration from anyone and anything.

I’ve been listening to CBC Radio 2 a lot lately, Blitzen Trapper, and Bon Iver. I like anything that’s folky with a little bit of swagger.” Besides

traditional events, such as the Bomber, Fisher has also been involved in more unorthodox venues. Last October, he was spotted at the War Child Canada’s Busking for Change event.

Fisher likes “the experience of playing for people in surprising places.” He said. “It’s an opportunity to make a difference in a time and place that people don’t expect. About 90 per cent of the time, people just keep on walking by. But every once in a while, they stop, and you get the chance to really move someone.”

The second annual Hillside Inside took over the Sleeman Centre in downtown Guelph on February 7, bringing together a mix of big names and some lesser-known acts for a full day of non-stop music. The mood was mellow earlier in the day, but got progressively heated as the crowd grew in numbers and higher energy acts like Thunderheist and Sam Roberts Band took to the stage. Bedoiun Soundclash charmed the crowd with their soulful raggae-laden sounds and the fantastic chemistry between Torquil and Amy from Stars made them an act worth staying through to the end of the night. Needless to say, Hillside Inside is on my list, and 2010 is sure to be a blast.

Mo Jangda

MURDER: IT’S SCARY AGAIN!

S

omething weird and supernatural happened to American horror cinema when the 1980s rolled around: it disappeared! More accurately, it experienced a sudden and inexplicable change in focus; the tone of American horror went from visceral and sober to flashy and comedic. The films of the early 1970s were brutal and challenging, but by 1984, horror-comedy entered the mainstream with Wes Craven’s A Nightmare on Elm Street.

During this period of change, the visual style of American horror became cleaner and more coherent. Two of the landmark films of the early 1970s: Craven’s Last House on the Left and Tobe Hooper’s Texas Chain Saw Massacre, had provocatively lo-fi production values for the time. In 1978, John Carpenter delivered us the craftsmanlike Halloween, which was a clean affair. Halloween was clean in that it uses many more steady tracking shots than the earlier 70s horror films - but also that there is virtually no blood on-screen throughout the entire film.

Halloween marked the start of a shift toward a kinder, gentler type of horror. Friday the 13th was the direct successor to Halloween and was made as a cheap attempt to cash in on Halloween’s success. It used Halloween’s building blocks as its base: unlikeable teenagers getting slaughtered by a faceless brutal killer, with plenty of “boo!” moments but little blood. However, it did so in a ham-fisted way that lacked the creepy subtleties that made Halloween great, and was critically panned. Gene Siskel called director Sean S. Cun-

ningham “one of the most despicable creatures ever to infest the movie business.” Roger Ebert, who gave Halloween a four-star review, pegged Friday the 13th as the worst of his reviled group of Dead Teenager Movies. Nevertheless, Friday the 13th massacred the box office, and started a franchise that is about to be excitedly rebooted almost 30 years after the original’s release.

The success of Friday the 13th and this new brand of kinder, gentler horror prompted studios to invest in this accessible style. MGM, who had previously given Tobe Hooper the Poltergeist project, brought in Steven Spielberg as a producer, but allowed Spielberg to usurp much of the directorial responsibility as production continued.

Poltergeist, as a result, is painted more with Spielberg’s classical palette than Hooper’s grainy fuzz.

1984 saw the release of the film that changed the game: Craven’s Nightmare on Elm Street. Much of the film was standard Dead Teenager fare, but the fact that much of the film was set in a dreamworld allowed it to include many subversive surrealist elements. The real coup de grace that set Nightmare apart, however, was the delightful Freddy Krueger, whose foul-mouthed charm set him apart from the killing machines of earlier Dead Teenager Movies. Freddy was the first antihero of modern horror; audiences rooted for him.

Freddy’s popularity made it safe to transform previously faceless monsters like Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers into series protagonists. As the Nightmare, Halloween and Friday the 13th franchises advanced, their killers became more humanized.

Michael Myers was referred to as “The Shape” in the original Halloween; Jason Voorhees had but one brief appearance. A few sequels later, their characters were more developed than any other to appear in the franchise films. The sequels became episodic - how creatively could Freddy, Michael, and Jason kill this time around?

They also became progressively more campy and fun: Nightmare 3: Dream Warriors featured what amounted to superpower fights between Freddy and his lucid-dreaming victims, and Jason got launched into space in Jason X. Modern franchises like the Saw series also feature a sympathetic killer - a much gorier killer, sure, but someone who gained the audience’s sympathy by the time the second film rolled around.

Needless to say, American horror travelled far away from its high-water mark in the early 70s.

Lately, however, it has been returning to its roots as something sober, depressing, and disturbing.

Much of this has to do with the lead that the French have set with their recent brand of visceral horror.

Alexandre Aja’s Haute Tension, released in 2003, was a brutal, unrelenting slasher that featured no camp and gave no quarter. Its sober presentation of gratuitous gore polarized critics, but ultimately helped it make serious waves on the festival circuit.

A few notable films similar in tone were released two years later in 2005, from all across the globe: UK director Neil Marshall’s The Descent, Australian Wolf Creek, and Eli Roth’s infamous Hostel.

Hostel is particularly interesting because of its relatively serious tone, which was uncharac-

teristic for Roth, who made his name off of 2002’s quirky horror-comedy Cabin Fever. While horror directors who previously changed their focus, like Hooper and Craven, went from seriousness to camp, Roth went the other way with Hostel. Granted, he’s still very much a schlock scholar, and brazenly plays himself up as a B-movie director, but with his two Hostel films and the upcoming Stephen King adaptation Cell, he shows that like Hooper and Craven, he’s following the times and doing what sells.

French horror cinema, meanwhile, has gone mainstream. Aja, for example, jumped immediately from Haute Tension to American studios, releasing the Hills Have Eyes remake in 2006, P2 in 2007, and Mirrors last year. Meanwhile, new French cinema continues to raise the bar for disturbing brutality. France released four of the best horror films of last year: A L’Interieur, Frontières, Vinyan, and Martyrs. These films have missed the memo that horror can be fun; there is not a second of lightness in any of these films.

American horror cinema struggles to catch up. Aja’s English-language films have generally been pretty awful, and American directors like Rob Zombie and Roth still have trouble letting go of their camp sensibilities. But they’re trying.

The reboot of Friday the 13th that comes out this weekend has been marketed with a much darker tone than, say, Freddy vs. Jason. The party that has been American horror cinema post-1984 is dying out, and something much scarier is rising from its grave.

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

automatica

L

ately I’ve focused on a lot of bands who go out of their way to avoid any kind of sound that resembles “pop.” This week, however, features a band that proudly labels itself as a “pop band.”

Lead singer Daryl Palumbo (who is also the lead singer for post-hardcore band Glassjaw) defends pop on his website by referring to its now distorted definition: “Contemporary American pop is so tasteless and phony... That’s why no one in America wants to say they’re in a pop band...

To them I say, ‘You don’t even know what pop is. You’ve grown up with fucking Blink-182 forced down your throat.’ Whereas I want to be in a pop band.” This is Head Automatica.

Head Automatica has two fulllength albums so far, Decadence (2004) and Popaganda (2006), but Decadence is

the slightly better of the two because of its more engaging lyrics. The first time listening to Decadence is an interesting experience, especially if you’re listening to it expecting a pop sound.

When you hear Head Automatica, you can understand where the “pop” comes in, but it’s definitely not traditional pop. First of all, Palumbo is not a great singer. He has a voice that would be annoying in the wrong type of band, but luckily he makes it work here. Secondly, most of the songs are foregrounded by a catchy guitar riff, but then they’re also surrounded by neat keyboarding, and catchy organs (why does that sound wrong?).

Perhaps referring to Head Automatica as a powerpop band would give you a better idea of what their sound is. Decadence is another album that doesn’t usually “click” on the first listen. Songs like “The Razor” and

Arts & Entertainment

not pop

“King Caesar” required a few listens before I began to like them, and now they’re my favourite songs on the album. “King Caesar” is a simpler song, which is kicked off by an electronic beat that sounds like it’s from an old Nintendo game, but the strength of the song is in its sarcastic lyrics.

Of course, I can’t go this entire article without mentioning “Beating Heart Baby,” especially when it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow — I think that makes this kind of a prerequisite.

“Beating Heart Baby” is the “poppiest” song on the album and the title alone can tell you that; the corny lyrics, the strong use of backup vocals for the chorus, the fact that it’s really catchy — all of it screams “pop.” And yet, it works. In fact, Head Automatica liked the song so much that they included it on their second album as well in a slightly remastered version.

So you can play this song and wow that special someone you’re interested in (note: I take no responsible if it doesn’t actually wow them — the problem is on your end, sorry).

I can’t pretend this is a perfect album, however. One issue that was pretty prevalent for a while in all albums but I think it’s on its way out now: short albums. The album adds up to 37 minutes across 11 songs.

That would be OK if every song was stellar, but there are a few weaker songs in the latter part of Decadence.

But this is no reason to pass this album up. The band’s website, www.headautomatica.com, has a few songs you can check out, but only one song from Decadence: “Beating Hearts Baby.” So check it out and see what you think of the “pop” you haven’t heard yet.

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Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

Fool’s Gold

focus on film ian mcewan

Adapting comics and TV to film emcewan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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he number of comic-based superhero films has doubled every decade since the 80’s. Same with TV series’. Some people love the idea of taking some Saturday morning show or comic they grew up with and making it feature-length. It’s like a badge of honour. Other people complain that filmmakers are just running out of ideas and the rising popularity of adapting other-media franchises confirms just that. No matter what side you’re on, if any, it all boils down to which movies you end up seeing. The trend is undeniable, like a gold rush of ideas. But not everything is as lucrative as it seems.

Give it a few more decades and we might see Fireman Sam get his big break.

Thirty-one years ago, Superman was released in theatres to rave reviews.

It wasn’t the first time a comic book hero had made it to the big screen, let alone the Man of Steel. It’d been done as far back as 1941 with The Adventures of Captain Marvel, but for the most part, films of the past depended more on dialogue than special effects. Needless to say, the older comic-based movies couldn’t reach the bulk of audiences that later ones could. Superman represents, in my opinion, the beginning of today’s trend of translating superhero comics to high-budget superhero films.

It had a $55 million budget, high revenue, and won a special achievement award for visual effects at the Oscars in 1979. It’s arguable that the success of this movie catalyzed the superhero movie industry to drop campiness and make feature films the jewels of their comic book franchises.It’s obvious that comics can still make good stand-alone movies. Last year’s Iron Man is a good example. If filmmakers are faithful enough to the nuances of their source material, they can please

fans of the franchise and still manage to get through to a wider audience with characters and theme. However, the experiment doesn’t work every time. 2005’s Fantastic Four or 2007’s Ghost Rider weren’t well received despite their roots in the popular comic series’. People point to the acting as the problem, but I think it goes deeper.

Studios, inspired by the success of other comic adaptations, become too

“

did grow up with old shows like Starsky & Hutch, Miami Vice, and Transformers while others are following the comic people’s example and trying to pour series’ into a cinematic work as both a tribute and good movie in its own right.

That would explain why some adaptations like 1997’s Mission: Impossible, which took a lot of liberties from its television roots, were successes with audiences while Transformers (2007) got mixed

Studios, inspired by the success of other comic adaptations, become too careless and rely on the popularity of their sources, the sentimentalism.

careless and rely on the popularity of their sources, the sentimentalism.

Superman and Iron Man are popular comics, but now they’re also memorable movies because the impression of the characters by decades of ink and paper was properly represented by on-screen drama.

Some people feel TV shows are to movies what rural is to urban. It’s humble in a way. Like I mentioned before, the number of television adaptations in the movie industry is on the rise, and for some reason, most of the sources are shows from another generation entirely. This I don’t understand, unless the conspiracy theorists are right and studios are digging deep into old franchises to come up with new movies and thought that maybe the newer generations who have no memories in old shows wouldn’t mind. We’ve been had, people. Of course, in reality, the truth is probably twofold. Some studios may want to appeal to the generation that

reviews because it depended on the show’s popularity and was directed by Michael Bay. So what can you glean from all this?

Are the imagineers in the film industry scavenging other forms of media like fresh veins of gold? Is it an easy-money bid on the childhood memories of Generation X? Was it always just a phenomenon waiting for the takeoff of CGI? The Industry isn’t out of ideas. If it was, it wouldn’t be versatile enough to adapt Iron Man or Get Smart effectively.

Filmmakers also give us dozens of completely original films every year, The Wrestler being a good example. Watch it. The key is to avoid getting carried away, relying on sentimentalism and CGI. This isolates audiences rather than introducing them to the franchise with good cinematography. With Dragon Ball Z, Astroboy, and I Dream of Jeannie in the works, you’ll have to decide for yourself whether or not this trend is turning up fool’s gold.

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Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009 science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Most intelligent city after all More top physicists coming to Waterloo Lana Sheridan staff reporter

W

aterloo is well on its way to becoming the world’s top location for theoretical physics. The Perimeter Institute announced this week the addition of nine new Distinguished Research Chairs to join the first PI Distinguished Research Chair, Prof. Stephen Hawking. The individuals named to these positions represent some of the leading luminaries in astrophysics, quantum gravity, string theory, particle physics, and quantum information.

Dr. Neil Turok, the director of the Perimeter Institute and a much-acclaimed cosmologist, was quoted in the press release saying: “We are delighted to welcome these eminent scientists to Distinguished Research

other and other resident researchers. This will also allow them to interact with, and in some cases teach, students in the new Perimeter Scholars International program, a Masters level course in theoretical physics.

And just who are these elite physicists?

Stephen Hawking requires no introduction.

He is now a household name, thanks in part to the publication of his best-selling book “A Brief History of Time.” Appointed the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge (the position occupied by Sir Isaac Newton), he is particularly noted for his work on black hole radiation, which now bears the name Hawking Radiation. Also joining Perimeter will be Yakir Aharonov, who has done important work on quantum mechanical effects, notably the Aharonov-Bohm effect; Nima Arkani-Hamed, of the Institute of

who literally wrote the book on quantum phase transitions and done much research in condensed matter physics; Ashoke Sen from the Harish-Chandra Research Institute, a noted string theorist who proposed the Sen Conjecture; Leonard Susskind, the Felix Bloch Professor of Theoretical Physics at Stanford, a founder of string theory, who has also worked in cosmology; and, Xiao-Gang Wen, the Cecil and Ida Green Professor of Physics at MIT, a researcher who has contributed in many areas including high-temperature superconductivity, condensed matter, and the nature of space-time. All told, this is a remarkably impressive list.

Dr. Turok said that the Perimeter Institute hopes to one day expand this new initiative to reach as many as 40 Distinguished Research Chairs. This is a tall order, but if the talent

The Perimeter Institute hopes to one day expand this new initiative to reach as many as Chairs at PI. Their research spans many of the most exciting areas in theoretical physics.

Their presence will spark new scientific collaborations and provide invaluable guidance to us, as well as inspiring the budding young researchers on our new Perimeter Scholars International program. As past experience shows, when complementary insights are brought to bear and critical mass is reached, major advances are possible.”

The PI Distinguished Research Chairs are three-year appointments. During that time the researchers will spend three months a year here in Waterloo, working in the Perimeter Institute where they can collaborate with each

40 Distinguished Research Chairs.

Advanced Study, who has constructed theories on emergent dimensions and proposed experiments for the Large Hadron Collider at CERN; Neta Bahcall, the Eugene Higgins Professor of Astrophysics at Princeton and an observational cosmologist with work on dark matter and the structure of the universe; Juan Ignacio Cirac, the director of the Theory Division of the Max Planck Institute for Quantum Optics, whose work is in quantum information and characterizing quantum phenomena; Gia Dvali, the Silver Professor at NYU and a member of CERN, doing work in particle physics, the early universe, and string theory; Subir Sachdev of Harvard,

attracted to PI thus far is any indication, they seem very capable of finding and involving many of the most accomplished theoretical physicists the world over. Furthermore, the compound effect of having such a large number of respected physicists in one place is bound to be an attractive incentive for more people to work at Perimeter as resident researchers and graduate students. All of this should make Waterloo the home of some of the best theoretical physics research in the world. lsheridan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

paul collier

Science & Technology

18

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

Stay or Decay?

The nuclear energy debate thelferty@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

I

n Canada, we have 18 nuclear power plants. Sixteen are in Ontario. In 2006 alone, these plants provided 15.5 per cent of electricity across the country. Internationally, nuclear energy is becoming a large factor in the future of energy production. With concerns of dwindling coal and oil supplies, dependence on, and the threat from greenhouse gases created by these supplies, the thought of a clean energy source at a competitive price is good news to many ears.

However, the word “nuclear” brings up controversy when talking about renewable and clean energy.

“Renewable,” “clean,” and “cost-effective” are terms that make people happy regarding energy sources, but where is the line drawn when pitting cost-effective methods against

renewable and clean? While nuclear power doesn’t emit greenhouse gases, it is not the safest in terms of health and the environment, and whether it really counts as a renewable energy source is still up for debate.

Nuclear energy, like many other forms of energy, is generated by boiling water to produce steam that turns turbines. Unlike other forms of energy, this is done by splitting the element Uranium-235 in a process called fission. Plutonium-239 is produced as waste in the process. The process of splitting uranium to boil water creates no greenhouse gases or emissions, so in that sense, it is clean. Nuclear energy is much less polluting than fossil fuels, but it’s still debateable as to whether it’s completely clean.

The Nuclear Energy Institute claims that there are programs to

monitor radiation in the environment, and that they work to preserve wildlife and provide habitats around power plants for many species of plants and animals. This is definitely possible since the facilities themselves have little impact on the surrounding environment compared to many other facilities (including hydro-electric).

However, there are other factors that contribute to environmental degradation, such as mining.

While I understand that mining will always be a part of human life and is necessary, and while there are very few environmentally-friendly techniques, mining for uranium — as well as its refining and enrichment — can create radioactive isotopes that contaminate the local environment, and continue to do so for hundreds of thousands of years. This also brings the matter of waste disposal into question. While there are methods for disposal — such as steel-lined concrete pools filled with water or giant cement canisters — if nuclear energy gets more popular, there will be more waste to get rid of.

However, ways to recycle the waste are being worked on, as 95 per cent

Nuclear fission breaks apart Uranium-235 isotopes into smaller particles and releases energy. able. While it is a clean form of energy — aside from the waste — renewable indicates that it can be replenished and has an infinite supply if used wisely.

of the energy in the used fuel can still be harvested.

If nuclear waste can be recycled over and over, it would be both cleaner and safer, but that doesn’t make it renew-

There is not an infinite supply of uranium on the planet, so while nuclear could definitely be a long-lasting energy source if recycled properly, it is by no means renewable.

Nuclear energy isn’t bad, but it only has a supporting role to play in the future of clean energy. Other sources of clean energy production, like solar, wind, and geothermal, have nearly unlimited potential by drawing from the world’s natural resources without producing radioactive waste. Currently, nuclear reactors are a less expensive option, and for that they are a popular choice. If we continue to develop the currently more expensive energy production methods into cheaper, more efficient processes, we can surpass nuclear power with energy that is both renewable and truly clean.

Wael Elsweisi staff reporter

Christian Abnet of the National Cancer Institute and is published in the British Journal of Cancer.

in France and is published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Aspirin found to protect against stomach cancer

New chemical enhances oxygen supply to muscles

Aspirin is known for its ability to relieve aches and pains, reduce fever, and protect against heart attacks. A recent study that analyzed more than 300,000 people added that aspirin may also protect against non-cardia stomach cancer — cancer of the middle and lower stomach. In fact, regular aspirin users were 36 per cent less likely to develop the cancer; those who took other non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs were a little worse off with a 32 per cent reduction. This finding is important considering the five-year survival rate of stomach cancer is 15 per cent. Nonetheless, regular use of aspirin is still not recommended as it leads to stomach ulcers and bleeds.

“It’s far too early to recommend that people take aspirin to protect themselves from these cancers...” said Lesley Walker of Cancer Research UK. “Understanding how to prevent the disease is crucial, but more research is needed to discover how side effects can be balanced with the benefits.”

Contrary to previous studies, the researchers found that aspirin does not protect against oesophageal and cardia cancer. The study was led by

A damaged heart poses many problems for the body. Most notable is the resulting decrease in oxygen supply to the body’s organs and muscles. Current treatments aimed at increasing heart output or improving blood circulation have shown limited success. A recent study involving mice with heart failure, however, concluded that these mice turn from “couch potatoes into treadmill tearaways” when exposed to a chemical called myo-inositol trispyrophosphate (ITPP). Although synthetic, the drug resembles a naturally occurring chemical made in the body called myo-inositol.

Normally, the haemoglobin in our red blood cells releases 25 per cent of its oxygen supply during one circuit of the body. But the chemical makes haemoglobin release 35 per cent more oxygen than usual when dissolved in water, and a whopping 60 per cent when injected into the abdomen. Patients would be happy to hear that a single dose of the chemical could last up to a week, but athletes are warned that it can be very easily detected in their blood systems. The study was led by Jean-Marie Lehn of the University of Strasbourg

Mining for uranium can create radioactive isotopes that contaminate the local environment, and continue to do so for hundreds of thousands of years.

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Common drug Ritalin may be addictive in children

Methylphenidate is the active ingredient found in the commercial drug Ritalin. The drug is commonly prescribed to treat children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorders, but it is also commonly used by teenagers, without prescription, to boost their academic performance, or simply for pleasure.

A recent study looking at brain scans of mice given the drug over a two-week period noted an increase in the number of spiny neurons in the nucleus accumbens, a brain region stimulated by all addictive drugs.

“These changes in neuronal structure and brain chemistry are known to be associated with the process of drug addiction,” warned study author Yonk Kim of Rockefeller University in New York. This finding is supported by earlier studies that link recreational use of the drug with addiction, though no such addiction has been seen in hyperactive children. The study is published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

— With files from BBC News, NewScientist, and NewsMedical

Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

19

Antidepressants: the silent mojo-killer

Mohammad Jangda staff reporter

Trapster lets you speed around radar guns

A new app for the iPhone is giving drivers a little more freedom to let loose and push their gas pedals just a little further. According to the New York Times, the app from Trapster, a website that lets users map and track police speed traps across the world, warns drivers of pending legal “hazards” via audible alerts. With numerous options, the app can be set up for alerts given only certain conditions such as traveling above a certain speed.

Of course, as all the speed traps are user-contributed, the app is only as good as the contributors that frequent the Trapster site.

Trapster also has BlackBerry and Java-enabled versions available as well. With numerous speed traps peppered across the KW region, local leadfoots would be better served watching their accelerometers, or at least keeping their phones Trapster-ready.

SMS texts create employment for developing countries

A researcher in New Mexico has devised a system that allows English-speaking individuals from developing nations to make some money on the side. According the BBC News, individuals armed with a cell phone and some free time can assist in small text-based tasks such as word and phrase translations and transcribing via Txteagle, the SMS-based system. Technology companies such as Microsoft and Nokia have a large interest in localizing products to the thousands of different languages and dialects for each found worldwide. As an example, Nathan Eagle, creator of Txteagle, mentions Kenya, which has over 60 unique languages.

The system works in a very simple way: a word or phrase is blasted out to numerous individuals for translation.

The Txteagle then analyzes all replies to ensure with a high accuracy that

T

he causes of depression are infinite; family issues, academic stress, grief, and life transitions are just some of the contributing factors. Likewise, there are about as many different antidepressants as there are causes: Citalopram, Lexapro, Luvox, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Amitriptyline, Desipramine, Nortiptyline, Cymbalta, Effexor, Mirtazepine, and Nadril, to name a few.

Although all antidepressants increase the brain’s concentration of neurotransmitters, they are grouped into “families” of drugs that work differently to target different kinds of depression.

Libido is a part of human function that is difficult to balance in both depression and depression treatment.

Ironically, decreased sex drive is a commonly reported side effect of depression, but some antidepressants actually maintain low sex interest as part of their interaction with the brain.

It is important to establish that pharmaceuticals now separate antidepressants into “old” and “new” drug categories. The older generation of antidepressants is thought to be more effective, but is harsher on the body they have a correct response, which is then passed on to the corporation that requested it. Responders are paid via a mobile banking service. The service in its current state is cheaper than traditional routes such as translation services, but more limited in a larger scale setting given the SMS limitation of 160 characters. The system will be implemented in the Dominican Republican and parts of South America later this year.

— With files from The New York Times and BBC News

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and carries more pronounced side effects, whereas, the newer generation does not always work as effectively but also does not carry the disadvantage of side effects such as nausea, anxiety, sleep disruption, inability to achieve an erection, inability to achieve an orgasm, and loss of libido.

There is also help for antidepressant users in the homeopathic department: St. John’s Wort, also known as Tipton’s Weed, is found across Europe, North America, and Eurasia.

St. John’s Wort is thought to be effective against depression because it maintains serotonin in the brain lon-

Approximately eight per cent of adult Canadians will experience major depression or anxiety at some point in their lives, and around five per cent in any given year.

Fortunately, health professionals are now recommending a certain antidepressant — Wellbutrin — to balance out the sexual problems caused by the use of some antidepressant drugs. According to Rex Cowdry, M.D., deputy executive director for research, and medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Wellness, Wellbutrin is unique because it is “classified as a dopamine-reuptake blocking compound,” making it different from other drugs (like Prozac) which target serotonin.

ger. According to BBC News, in a 2008 study in Munich, Germany involving 5,500 people who were suffering from different forms of depression, Researchers tested the effectiveness of St. John’s Wort, placebo pills, and other antidepressants.

Leading the study was Dr. Klaus Linde, previously known for his research on the effectiveness of “placebo” acupuncture in curing headaches. “Overall, the St John’s Wort extracts tested in the trials were superior to placebo, similarly effective

as standard antidepressants, and had fewer side effects,” said Linde about the study. Although it’s important to understand St. John’s Wort may not be a suitable alternative to all forms of depression, it has been successfully used in Europe for decades.

Depression is an extremely common condition. According to Health Canada and Statistics Canada, approximately eight per cent of adult Canadians will experience major depression or anxiety at some point in their lives, and around five per cent will in any given year. Students, dealing with juggling academics, part-time jobs, relationships, and homesickness, can understandably suffer depression.

It is important to understand that modern science has made depression a highly treatable condition, and thus, you should work with your health professional to find the right fit for you — one that preferably doesn’t interfere with your sex life.

If you have any questions about the location or behaviour of your junk, please email alomako@ imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009 sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

armel chesnais

Running home the records

Curling: Team Ontario

Waterloo students help represent Ontario on the national scene Caitlin McIntyre

Caitlin McIntyre sports editor

L

ast weekend’s annual York Open competition had the University of Waterloo’s track team making their way home with some impressive results.

Our Warrior athletes shone on the track, some even going so far as etching their names down in the record books.

Hugo Lopez, a 21-year-old arts student majoring in health sciences, blew through a holding record of 13 years in the 60-metre hurdles and solidified himself in a position in the CIS’ top 12. His run was timed at 8.56 seconds.

Waterloo’s sprinters weren’t the only successes to come from the meet, as the distance events also managed to put Waterloo up in the top finishers. Warrior athlete Julia Malleck, a 21-year-old majoring in political science, finished in the top three for the 1,000 metre run, placing with a time of 2:57.62.

Malleck’s success was mirrored by efforts of runner Kelly-Lynne Spettigue, a 22-year-old in systems design engineering, who received a bronze medal for, the 1,500 metre run, finishing with an impressive time of 4:47.08.

Both Spettigue and Malleck moved up in

their rankings because of their performances over the weekend. Malleck moved up to hold a position ranked 13th in the CIS, and Spettigue now maintains a place as 16th fastest in the country.

The relay teams set various personal bests and worked to climb the CIS ranks with their high placings and improving times. But it was in the 4x400m relay that the Warriors really shone, with the men’s team taking the win in the event.

Places were also earned away from the track, and into the jumping events, earning medals for three separate University of Waterloo athletes. Andrew Good had a personal best of 1.85 metres, which, coupled with his amazing previous performances, placed him second in the competition. Brian Sutherland also did a first time jump of 1.85 metres, but because of Good’s previous standings in the event, Sutherland was knocked down to third in the overall standings. Jason Goetz, an 18-year-old geography major, managed to place second in his event, the triple jump, grabbing the silver medal for the competition. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

sports editor

T

eam Ontario was formed out of four KW based students, including two of University of Waterloo’s own, Scott Hindle, the team’s second, and Bowie Abbis-Mills, the team’s skip. The rest of the team includes two non-Warrior athletes, the team’s third being a Laurier student named Scott McGreggor and their lead Terry Arnold, a victory lap student at St. David Catholic High, and their coach Jamie Arnold.

The group became the official Team Ontario after winning the Ontario Pepsi Provincial Junior Championships, then just recently going on to play at the M&M Meat Shops Canadian National Championships in Salmon Arm, BC. The team traveled across the country to pit their skills against teams from the rest of the nation, provinces sending their representatives out to try and make a name for themselves in the curling world.

The competition lasted a full week, games and functions taking place from Sunday, February 1 until Sunday, February 8. The Ontario team was pitted against teams from coast to coast, covering opponents from British Columbia, all the way to Newfoundland

and Labrador. Although they didn’t get into the finals, team Ontario ended up placing fifth out of the thirteen provincial and territorial teams, playing an even six wins, and six losses.

The team played hard and found themselves performing some incredible feats. This included an incident in which they nearly scored an eight ender, a very rare occurance in which all the stones at the end of the game score points for one team, and came agonizingly close to making Junior National history.

Although their team did not place in the top three, they did have awards presented to two of their team members at the closing ceremonies in Salmon. The team’s lead, Terry Arnold, was presented a fair play award, a prize he was elected for over the remaining provincial team leads.

Scott Hindle was also presented an award at the conclusion to the tournament. Hindle was chosen as the recipient for the Joan Mead Legacy Award, an award presented to two individuals in the competition, one woman, and one man, including a $500 scholarship with the trophy.

The curling team came home with results to be proud of, and hardware for their efforts. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Christine Nanteza assistant opinion editor

T

A tough season for our

warrior women

he women’s hockey team, coming off an overtime loss to Brock on Saturday, hoped their Sunday afternoon game against Guelph would help revive a deteriorating season. The weekend was on the tail end of an unfortunate series of losses that followed the team towards the end of the season. The game showed a promising start with the Warriors conceding only one goal in the first quarter.

Unfortunately, fatigue and anxiety began to catch up with the ladies, and by the end of the second, Waterloo was down 3­–0. Their energy quickly fizzled midway through the third quarter. The fan turnout seemed to reflect the team’s recent performances with many the Warrior’s audience consisting of friends and family. Despite making more shots on goal than their opponents, the Warriors failed to convert. Guelph scored two more to end the game at 5–0.

Sarah Bryson, the team’s captain, gave Imprint a brief overview of the team’s feelings after the game. “It was a tough game and the loss, of course, is very disappointing,” she stated when I caught up to her after the team left the ice. “We didn’t play well enough or at the level that I know we can. All in all, we can do better.”

The season has been inconsistent thus far, and the team is currently sitting at ninth place in the OUA. Following their last two losses, the Warriors have dropped to a 7–13 standing in the season. cnanteza@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Amy LeBlanc

Sports & Living

warrior

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

21

Waterloo Warriors Last Week Men’s Basketball

Women’s Basketball

Saturday, February 7 Guelph 75 - Waterloo 60

Saturday, February 7 Guelph 67 - Waterloo 51

Nordic skiing weekend a test of endurance Caitlin McIntyre

Women’s Volleyball

Men’s Volleyball

Friday, February 6 Waterloo 3 - Windsor 1

Friday, February 6 Waterloo 3 - Windsor 1

Saturday, January 31 Waterloo 3 - Western 0

Saturday, January 31 Waterloo 3 - Western 1

Men’s Hockey

Women’s Hockey

Friday, February 6 Western 6 - Waterloo 5 Shoot Out

Sunday, February 8 Brock 3 - Waterloo 2 In Overtime

Saturday, February 7 Waterloo 2 - Windsor 1 Shoot Out

Saturday, February 7 Guelph 5 - Waterloo 0

Upcoming Games

wrap-up

Men’s Basketball

Women’s Basketball

Saturday, February 14 at Western, 3:00 p.m.

Saturday, February 14 at Western, 1:00 p.m.

Women’s Hockey

Men’s Hockey

Saturday, February 14 at Queen’s, 2:30 p.m.

Sunday, February 15 at Windsor, 7:05 p.m.

Sunday, February 15 at UOIT, 7:30 p.m.

Correction In the February 6 issue of Imprint, the men’s varsity hockey team was wrongly stated as having lost both of their Lakehead games on January 30 and 31. Imprint would like to apologize for this oversight, as the hockey team had, in fact, won both of the games against Lakehead.

sports editor

L

ast weekend, Saturday February 7 to Sunday February 8, the Warrior Nordic Ski team participated in their second OUA Qualifier hosted at the Laurentian Nordic Trails. The Warriors hit the slopes in less than ideal weather, going from wet and drizzly to frozen overnight. However the Warriors worked their way through the weekend, earning them the following results.

In the women’s 10km classic, Waterloo’s Nellie Dow placed fifth with a time of 33:26, Kelly Skinner placed thirteenth at 38:21, and Jess Stevenson finished sixteenth with 40:01.

The women’s 5km freestyle found Dow in eighth place, finish-

ing at 14:34 with Skinner following in eleventh at 15:17 and Stevenson placing seventeenth at 16:44.

The men’s 15km classic saw Kieran Jones in tenth place with a time of 45:05, followed by Andrew Jeffery in thirteenth at 45:32, Cam Moore in fourteenth with 46:07, and Yudai Nakagawa in sixteenth at 46:36.

In the men’s 10km freestyle saw Moore landing seventh finishing at 25:12, Jeffery finished ninth with 25:43, Kieran Jones in eighteenth with a time of 26:09, and Mike Neilly in twentieth with 26:30.

With a competition just on the horizon, the Nordic Ski team is back to their training. The OUA championships start up on Saturday, February 21, and continue on to Sunday, February 22. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Men’s hockey keeps up the pressure Caitlin McIntyre sports editor

T

he Waterloo men’s varsity hockey team pushed their way through the sixthranked team with two consecutive wins against Lakehead on the January 30 and 31 games of the season.

The Warriors managed to win two out of three games that they played the following week, beating out both Ryerson and Windsor, while losing by just one point to Western in a shootout last Friday, February 6.

Their recent games have paid off, and as of Wednesday, February 11 the team has been ranked as fourth in the league with 37 points.

The number one ranking team in the league is UQTR (Universite de Quebec a Trois-Rivieres) with 44 points, followed by Laurier with 43, Western with 39 and finally the Warriors, pushing their way up through the rankings over a mere few weeks.

Courtesy UW Athletics

Waterloo continues to push through the ranks as the season continues, and with two more games this week, the Warriors are left to battle it out with Laurier on Thursday, February 12 (post-press time), and Windsor on Sunday, February 15.

sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

February 18 vs WLU Golden Hawks 8:00 pm PAC Gym

Athletes of the Week

Nellie Dow Nordic Skiing 4th year, Health Studies Smithers, BC

Keith Beavers Swimming Registered trademarks of Boston Pizza Royalties Limited Partnership, used under license. © Boston Pizza International Inc. 2005

IMPRINT | FEBRUARY 13

Masters, AHS Waterloo, ON

Comics & Distractions

22

What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

by Julia Hawthornthwaite “Absolutely nothing.”

Ashley Betschel 1B Rec & Leisure

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

Ask

Shaniqua distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Dear Shaniqua, As of late I have been unable to hide the overwhelming feelings of love I have for one of my dearest friends. We have been very close for a few years now and I honestly believe we are soulmates. The problem is that he is gay. I’ve gone as far as to cut my hair very short and have started to wear more masculine clothing. I don’t want him to change who he is, but I do want him to give me a shot. How should I approach the situation? Is begging an option?

“Another day to play video games.”

Marc Levy 3B Computer Science

Sincerely,

“My beautiful girlfriend.”

Matt Heather 2B Planning

Finally Admitting Girl Hearts A Gay Dear FAGHAG,

“I didn’t even know it existed until this year! In Pakistan we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day” Moomal Memon 1B Honours Math

Girl, you is so mixed up I’m surprised you know which way is up. You ought to be stripped of your fag hag status for even suggesting crossing that line.

There is a time in every hag’s life when she falls in love with a gay man. Most hags turn a guy or two early on, but every now and then a girl will fall for an established queer. It’s a milestone, but really there is nothing you can do about it. You can either awkwardly kiss him and make him feel bad for not being able to consummately return your love, or you can give up and go on with your life — your ideal scenario isn’t even an option.

“Being with those you love.”

Evan McDonald 1B Kinesiology

“Lots of cheap chocolate.”

Gerald Coulter-Mistete 3A Software Engineering

You see, the soulmate, lovey-dovey feeling you have for him is nothing new, fags and their hags have loved each other for most of recorded history, but that is where it ends, sugar. You can’t make him love you physically, this connection you have now is the top — it can’t go any further.

Tina Wong: “I don’t know, what does it mean to you?”

Leo Tao: “I don’t know...I was hoping that you would know, baby.”

1B AHS 5B psychology

The problem right now is that your preoccupation with each other is preventing you from finding the straight man of your dreams, and him the gay man of his dreams. Time to throw away your copy of The Next Best Thing and let him go, hun.

Dear ma’am, Valentine’s Day is filled with so much ooshy gooshy mush, lovey dovey crap, and I want to do something different for my girl. My friends don’t support it, but I think some hardcore S&M is in order. Should I try bagging her and tossing her into a van as a surprise start, or get into a serious discussion about who’ll be the dom and who’ll be the sub?

Cheers, Truly, Madly, period.

I want to be more than freinds. I know you are protected by the UW 134 Boyz, but Takwa I think I am your knight in shining armor yours knight in shining armor

The Girl from REV

To my Walrus, I want to tell you that you really got a hold on me and all I’ve got to do is express my words of love to you. There will always be a day in my life in which I need you to help me with every little thing so that we can be all together now. I know that it’s only love and if we can just let it be then the two of us can carry that weight through me to you. Meet me in Norwegian Woods, where the bird has flown.

Love, your Prudence

Dear AFM Hulk ;) I see you every day at the PAC around 9:30ish working those guns of yours.

I can’t keep my eyes of you! I want to really talk to you :) I’m just too shy! So Mr.N aka AFM Hulk maybe we can work out together sometime ;) Threadmill Girl =) To my special friend, You’re always been there for me!

Always been listening to me! But now

Send your Missed Connections to distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Friday, august

29, 2008

of WaTerloo’s

If you want to try S & M, and there ain’t nothin’ with a good spanking once in a while, you bring it up and hope your partner complies. Never, ever under any circumstances do you kidnap a woman as a Valentine’s Day gift. Do you actually want to keep your girlfriend? Because if you don’t, I suppose that is the easiest way to get rid of her. Very few self respecting women enjoy being pulled into vans without prior negotiation. Honestly you’ll be lucky if you come out of reading week without a restraining order.

I’m sorry, I just need to reiterate how baffled I am that you are a functioning human being. Did your mother never teach you to treat a woman better? Really? Have you been indulging in violent pornography? Do you secretly want to derail your romance?

Mister, you are an idiot. Do your girlfriend a favour and tell her to dump you before you do any permanent psychological damage, hm?

rloo imprin t . uwate

8 vol 31, no

.ca

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print.uwaterloo.ca

editor@im

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you — This issue’s for New to campus? of... year’s edition Check out this

Maggie Clark editor-in-chief

What the fuck is wrong with you?

NOTICE OF MEETING – Imprint Publications, Waterloo is holding its ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING on Tuesday, February 24 at 2 p.m., Multi-Purpose Room, SLC, UW

Impr Int The universiTy

Dear Truly Madly,

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

PRESIDENT’S ADDRESS PRESENTATION OF FINANCIAL STATEMENTS, 2007/2008 APPOINTING THE 2008/2009 AUDITOR PRESENTATION OF THE 2009/2010 BUDGET POLICY AMENDMENT RATIFICATION ELECTION OF THE 2009/2010 BOARD OF DIRECTORS ADJOURNMENT

Attendance is mandatory for all Imprint staff, staff who are unable to attend must inform the Editor-in-Chief and provide proof of important prior engagemenrts. Proxy forms are available in the Imprint office and are due by Friday, February 20 at 2:00 p.m. Letters of intent to run for Imprint’s Board of Directors should be submitted to Imprint’s president by Friday, February 20 at 4:30 p.m. The floor will also be open to in-person nominations during the meeting.

QUESTIONS?? ~ Contact president Sherif Soliman at president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca or 519-888-4048

The univ

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Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

Crossword 1

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9

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18

19

20

21

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Across 1. Kata surfaces 5. Plectrum 9. Horse race control 14. Representative graphic 15. Lecherous gaze 16. Wondrous adventurer 17. Before medium 18. Smelting waste 19. Orange sealant 20. Indirectly; through a surrogate 23. Break down

55. Year’s loan expenditure 57. Pathological self-obsession 62. Flax 64. Starched frilly collar 65. Risqué 66. Campus pests 67. In mimicry of (2 words) 68. Modern rapier 69. Viper 70. Franklin and Affleck 71. Bundy and Kaczynski

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23

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Cryptogram

Feb 6 Cryptogram Solution

RFVKDEDTDYI AXKYBP KIP LZY

IN POLITICS, AN ORGANIZED MINORITY IS

RYIKFGKTRU - TRHR RYBDGLC

- jESSE jACKSON

Sudoku Jan. 6 5 6 9 2

2 7

Paul Collier

3 7 8 1 4 5 3 4

2

A POLITICAL MAJORITY.

9 5 3

8 9 4 7 5 1

Feb. 6 Sudoku solution 3 5 6 1 8 7 9 4 2

2 1 4 5 6 9 7 3 8

8 7 9 3 2 4 1 6 5

1 6 7 9 5 8 3 2 4

9 3 8 4 1 2 5 7 6

4 2 5 6 7 3 8 9 1

6 8 2 7 3 1 4 5 9

7 9 1 2 4 5 6 8 3

5 4 3 8 9 6 2 1 7

24

Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, February 13, 2009

POSTSCRIPT

GRAHAM MOOGK-SOULIS

LOOSE SCREWS

GEOFFREY LEE & SONIA LEE

IMPRESSION, BY JIM & LAN

RUNAWAY RINGTOSS

KURTIS ELTON

IN THE WEEDS

BY MATT FIG, BRANDON FORLER, AND KEEGAN TREMBLAY

PETER N. TRINH