Impr int The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper
Friday, March 20, 2009
imprint . uwaterloo . ca
vol 31, no 31
Dance at UW — student dance clubs featured on page 16 leaked audio leads to
conservative controversy UW alumni participate in contentious workshop, draw campus politics and activism into question
Michael L. Davenport incoming editor-in-chief
“L “Essentially, the full kaleidoscope of issues that you associate with the left, you’ll probably find that there’s an organization on campus that PIRG is contributing to.” — Aaron Lee-Wudrick , UW Alumni
Listen to the leaked audio recordings yourself, and draw your own conclusions. http://wikileaks.org/wiki/ OPCCA_workshop_on_ how-to_takeover_student_ governments%2C_2009
earn how to carry the conservative flag on campus.” This was the tagline of a Ontario PC Campus Association workshop held on the Wilfrid Laurier campus February 7, 2009. The Facebook description of the event continued, “Trainees will learn strategies to promote a conservative agenda on university campuses in student elections and in referendum campaigns.” Recordings of some talks were posted to Wikileaks on March 13, and the story has since been picked up by other campus media. The workshop, featuring former UW student Aaron Lee-Wudrick, and former Feds VP Education Ryan O’Connor, dissemated strategies which could be used to effect political change on university campuses. On the agenda were items such as, “Campaign Strategies and Tactics for keeping the CFS off Campus” and “Fighting Student Elections as a Conservative”. The workshop also featured a keynote speech by current Kitchener-Waterloo MP Peter Braid. Strategies
In a one hour talk titled “Campaign Strategies and Tactics for Challenging and Defeating PIRG,” Lee-Wudrick and O’Connor described means to attack Public Interest Research Groups (PIRGs) by getting media attention (and creating shell organizations to that end) and turning campus clubs against the PIRG. Lee-Wudrick also highlighted the importance of building alliances with other on-campus conservative groups, addressing how to trigger a referendum and the possibility of overtaking the board of directors. The leaked material indicates that Wudrick also suggested applying for PIRG funding and using that to fund groups on campus. “So, the next best thing to defeating PIRG and cutting out their funding is making sure some of their funding actually does go to some non-left wing causes.” O’Connor was recorded saying, “Sometimes you can’t attach the party’s name to something. You just can’t. If it’s a really controversial issue on campus or something that might show up in the newspaper, you want to be careful. You just have your shell organization and have the Campus Coalition for Liberty and two other Tory front groups which are front organizations, all of those groups might actually qualify for funding too.” Lee-Wudrick also said, “Yeah we had a front group... the Campus Coalition for Liberty. It was really just a front for
the conservatives, but it gave us like two voices.” Lee-Wudrick stated at the workshop that the left had its own shell groups. He later told Imprint, “The basic point is that if a group of like minded people are attempting to create the impression of having more support than they actually do, this will give them more political clout.” Lee-Wudrick described how he got media attention for political events. “March for the war in Iraq, which attracted a total of eight people. This was the year [O’Connor] was in government, so [O’Connor] couldn’t be in it, though he did provide me with the cardboard to make the posters. ... I got six or eight people, and marched up University Ave., with a bullhorn from the student union run by conservatives ... A CTV affiliate came to film us, The Record sent a reporter, 570 News sent a reporter, and campus. So we had four media covering eight people!” O’Connor also related how, as a “guy with a computer and a press release,” he got on CBC radio minutes before the six o’clock news. “Why? Because the position I was taking was so uncommon for a student. Us students are ‘anti-American’, ‘anti-war’ — and I was here, supporting George W. Bush.” Two other tools the pair mentioned in the recording was running for the board of directors of PIRG, and finding various ways to initiate a referendum on university campuses, using their UW experinces as an example. Lee-Wudrick also suggested getting favourable referendum procedure in place (“without mentioning anything about PIRG”) and later using that procedure to launch a referendum on PIRG funding. “You will be surprised at what people will sign if you put it in front of them, especially if you put it in benign terms.” Speaking of this comment, Lee-Wudrick told Imprint, “I advocate using the rules as they are to achieve the ends you seek.” Involvement of an MP
Many have noted Braid’s attendance as a keynote speaker. When asked “In which way should and shouldn’t an MP engage campus?” the office of Peter Braid responded simply, “As a Member of Parliament, Peter encourages everyone to become more involved in government and the political process, including students. Talking to students about his own experiences is one way for Peter to engage young people.” As of press time, Braid’s office did not respond to the question of whether or not “an appearance at an event by an MP constitutes tacit support of items on the itinerary.” See POLITICIZATION, page 3
Travelling sound
Black belt roundhouse
E Aboyeji explores world music, page 18
Warriors kick it at the Interuniversity Karate tournament, page 27
News
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009 news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
politicization: Erin Go Bragh
Continued from cover Politicization as Feds executive
At the talk, Lee-Wudrick and O’Connor recount incidents where they collaborated on Conservative activities on campus, despite O’Connor holding the position of Feds VP Education at the time, and not being able to officially support the campus Conservatives. The issue is raised, then, of what extent a Feds executive should let their personal philosophies influence their activities in office. On that, Feds President Justin Williams said, “As long as someone is clear about his or her politics when running and is honest with students about what they are planning to do, then there is nothing inherently wrong with including their politics in the Feds office. I think it would be rare for someone to win with that platform in the current climate. That being said, it is not in the best interest of students for the Federation of Students to enter into political games.” The Conservative side — are PIRGs inherently partisan?
Mark Zammit
Charlotte Moore, a student in UW’s Faculty of Environment, celebrates St. Patrick’s Day with a green beer in hand, on the patio of the Bomber Tuesday, March 17. Bomber’s management estimates that aproximately 1,000 patrons attended its annual event.
O’Connor told Imprint, “The session’s purpose was to encourage conservative-minded students to become more involved in campus life, and to discuss ways that conservative-minded students can build alliances with other student groups on campus. There’s nothing nefarious in suggesting that conservative-minded students organize around issue-based organizations rather than partisan campus clubs.” He added, “No one at the session suggested that PIRGs should be ‘eliminated’; conservative-minded students are often the most vocal supporters of free speech on campuses.” The full audio posted on Wikileaks bears O’Connor’s statement out: Lee-Wudrick said himself at the conference, “I don’t want them to go away, I just don’t want them to get extra resources other than [what] they’re entitled to.” The motivation for such tactics is the Conservative perception that the left wing on campus is similarly organized — PIRG-sponsored front groups to promote political causes, with the PIRG receiving a disproportionate amount of funding. Said Lee-Wudrick on the leaked recording, “On foreign policy, they clearly tend to favour those groups which Conservatives would normally not ally themselves with. They also tend to support more radical environmental pro-justice causes. Identity politics, anything that involves gender, gender identity. Female...I don’t want to say all gay and lesbian issues. ...Essentially, the full kaleidoscope of issues that you associate with the left, you’ll probably find that there’s an organization on campus that PIRG is contributing to.” Lee-Wudrick continued, “The fact that they exist and bring speakers isn’t the problem. It’s that they and they alone have this unique access
to resources that other groups don’t have. They’ll claim, ‘well, it’s refundable.’ It isn’t, really. If they were really sincere about that, they would simply solicit donations, or raise the money themselves. I still wouldn’t go to their events, but I wouldn’t have a problem with them existing on campus. “The equation is flipped for them. Most organizations succeed based on the number of people that are interested, are passionate, that get involved in [them]. The Conservative clubs are only as strong as ... as many people who do things for them. The PIRG is the opposite. They flourish on apathy, because they automatically get money. And if people don’t know about them, that’s good for them, because they keep getting the money and nobody says anything.” Counterpoint
On the subject of shell organizations, Williams countered, “I would have a hard time calling [Women’s Centre, GLOW, etc.] shell organizations as their memberships are often quite different from each other, and it is clear that they are not created for the purpose of supporting a specific party or external organization. That being said, it is common for many of these groups to form partnerships to work on events or causes.” Williams continued, “Creating shell organizations to distort campus discussion, however, is disingenuous, encourages apathy and actually works against developing a diverse and vibrant campus community. I find it disheartening that any political party would encourage actions that would work against these ideals.” Asha Philar, member of the WPIRG board of directors, maintains that PIRGs are non-partisan, saying, “We certainly do support environmental and pro-justice issues. We feel that clean air, access to drinking water and upholding human rights as defined by the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights are non-partisan issues that merit everyone’s support.” Generally applicable advice
Though much ado is being made about the talk being held by Conservatives, a good deal of the advice is applicable to any sort of political manouvering, whether Liberal or Conservative. The techniques described for getting media attention or initiating referendum would work for any political cause. Other examples are O’Connor’s advice to hold social as well as serious events, LeeWudrick’s advice to plan a Feds campaign years in advance and his advice for motivating students. “They’re not going to lie in bed, awake at night, tossing and turning about the student fee, right? They’re not passionate about this. You are. But they might vote, if it comes up.” mdavenport@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
GLOW celebrates its pride in style
julia hawthornthwaite
Members of GLOW’s executive and guests mingle during its first Polar Pride event, which was held at Caesar Martini’s on Wednesday, March 11. Revenues generated were donated to The AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo & Area (ACCKWA) and GLOW’s own queer-friendly video library.
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News
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
Tough times at York University Maggie Clark editor-in-chief Task force created to calm protests
After weeks of inaction from York University administration to campus incidents including heated protests between students divided by real or
perceived stakes in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, a university task force will seek ways to foster constructive debate, according to the Toronto Star. “We are committed to ensuring that our students can pursue their studies free of harassment or intimidation”, YorkU President and Vice-Chancellor Mamdouh Shoukri said in a statement.
Correction In the March 13 issue of Imprint, a news article entitled “Students smoked out” ran with inaccuracies and information drawn into question by later comments from tenants. The names of victims in this kind of event are not conventionally given out, a fact that in this case limited information access to that shared by other invested parties, such as the landlord. Imprint apologizes for suggesting student tenants were to blame for the fire when, in fact, no cause has been established to date.
“This task force will take a hard look at the current environment on campus, and explore ways that we can promote open debate and the free exchange of ideas.” The Task Force on Student Life, Learning, and Community, will be composed of seven students and seven appointed faculty members. The faculty members have already been determined; the student members will be selected in a few weeks at the culmination of an open call process, wherein interested candidates submit short essays explaining why they wish to be part of this group. The task force arises after incidents involving shouting matches between pro-Israeli and pro-Palestinian groups on campus, and one incident in which Jewish students reported being harassed by pro-Palestinian members of the York Federation of Students while trying to hold a conference announcing
the completion of a petition for said Federation’s executives to be removed. (See “Campus Watch,” Imprint, March 6, 2009, for more details.) Student protests last week in YorkU’s Vari Hall saw students temporarily suspended and fined for the disruption (which affected exams), but task force head Patrick Monahey, dean of the Osgoode Law School, told the Toronto Star he did not agree with this university tactic. “In my view, calling the police or security forces is the last thing that we should do on a university campus,” said Monahan. “If you are having to call security forces, you know right away you haven’t done the kind of work at the front end to encourage the type of dialogue and exchange of ideas that we want.” The task force’s report to President Shoukri is expected by August 31; whether this will give the university enough time to implement recom-
E T A U D GRA AMS PROGR
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E G D E
(Literally.)
mendations for that fall term remains to be seen. — With files from the Toronto Star and YorkU.ca Difficult beginnings for YorkU’s largest Canadian faculty
The amalgamation of certain York University faculties into the largest university campus in Canada met with surprisingly little mainstream media attention, but is nonetheless incurring controversies on YorkU campus, according to UofT and YorkU student news. The Faculty of Liberal Arts and Professional Studies, comprised of the old Faculty of Arts and the Atkinson Faculty of Liberal & Professional Studies, will be headed by founding dean Martin Singer, who was listed on the York University website as a “renowned scholar” of Chinese history — and for this phrase became a centre of controversy. According to UofT’s The Varsity, YorkU Prof. David Noble accused university president and hiring committee chair Mamdouh Shoukri of fraud in a press release circulated after perceiving Singer’s credentials to be inflated. Other scholars in the Singer’s field have corroborated the assertion that Singer is in fact little-published or known, and the publication director for YorkU’s website took the word “renowned” down from the article; but the nonconfidence in Singer’s appointment lingers with Noble’s campaign group, York Faculty Concerned About the Future of York University. Also of note are the 20-odd contract professors in the current arts faculty who will not be renewed for the start of YorkU’s first term with the new faculty: more classes must instead be guaranteed to CUPE staff, the ranks of which some disaffected professors say they cannot join without having to accept a loss in seniority and considerable paycut. “We get paid a professor’s salary, and the CUPE 3903 Unit 2 people don’t,” saffected criminology Prof. Paul Baxter told YorkU’s the Excalibur. “They get paid by the course and it’s just appalling.” The success of this very new faculty remains to be seen. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
— With files from the Excalibur, the Varsity, and YorkU.ca
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News
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
Katrina Massey reporter
Ryan Webb assistant news editor
Madagascar president cedes office to military
ANTANANARIVO, Madagascar President Marc Ravalomanana has stepped down as leader of Madagascar and handed control over government to military commanders. The president’s resignation occurred after weeks of protests and civil unrest conducted by supporters of the opposition. The military said that they were giving the power to opposition leader Andry Rajoelina. The president’s offices were seized on Monday by pro-opposition troops, and Rajoelina installed himself in the offices on March 17. Over 100 people have died since the presidential crisis first emerged in January. “This decision was very difficult and very hard, but it had to be made. We need calm and peace to develop our country,” Ravalomanana told the Associated Press. Ravalomanana was re-elected in 2006, and under his leadership, Madagascar opened up to foreign investment, especially in the mining industry. However, failure for the new wealth to trickle down caused frustration among civilians. In January, the government blocked a radio station signal supported by the opposition. In response, Rajoelina supporters set fire to a building in the government broadcasting complex, as well as an oil depot, shopping mall, and private TV station, killing many people. Days later, soldiers opened fire on protestors, killing 25 people. This move cost Ravalomanana a lot of militia support. In past weeks, Rajoelina has led anti-government protests, causing further unrest and fear of an out-
break of violence. On March 16, soldiers not only stormed the presidential palace but also seized a central bank in Madagascar’s capital. It is not clear as to whether this decision was supported by the whole army. The African Union and South African Development Community (SADC) have both condemned this military action. “We don’t think anybody has the right to unseat an elected government by force,” Botswanan Foreign Minister Phando Skelemani said on behalf of SADC.
should be disregarded or not, especially those that work with AIDS patients themselves. Over 25 million people have died from the AIDS pandemic in Africa since the early 1980s. An estimated 22.5 million Africans are currently living with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. In 2007, three quarters of all global AIDS deaths occurred on the African continent.
— With files from BBC and CBC
Attacks on international aid agencies in Darfur prompts an exodus
Pope condemns condoms as a contributor to Africa’s AIDS crisis
YAOUNDE, Cameroon Pope Benedict, who is visiting Africa on a seven day pilgrimage, said that condoms were not the solution to the African AIDS crisis. “[The disease] cannot be overcome by the distribution of condoms. On the contrary, it increases the problem,” the Pope told reporters on March 17 aboard the plane to Africa. The Pope’s affirmation of the Roman Catholic Church’s opposition to the use of condoms, one of the few proven sexually transmitted disease-preventing products, could have a large impact on the continent as tens of thousands showed up to welcome the Pope’s arrival. Africa is the fastest growing continent for the Roman Catholic Church. The Pope said that instead of condoms, fidelity in heterosexual marriage, abstinence and chastity are the best proven methods of preventing the spread of HIV. He said that this was the “correct behaviour regarding one’s body.” The issue of AIDS prevention is a large one within the Roman Catholic Church. Many clergy are divided as to whether condoms
— With files from The Globe and Mail and Reuters
KHARTOUM, Sudan Multiple attacks on foreign aid agencies in Sudan have caused many to withdraw their services. These agencies are in addition to those that President Omar Hassan al-Bashir had already ordered out. On March 17, eight gunmen attacked six UN peacekeepers. The peacekeepers fired back in self defence, but one of them was wounded and later died in a hospital. The four Doctors without Borders, or Medecins sans Frontiers (MSF) staff that were abducted on March 11 in Darfur were also safely released on March 17. After these abductions, MSF withdrew nearly its entire international staff from its Darfur projects, leaving only a few behind to ensure the safe release of those abducted. The abducted were Canadian nurse Laura Archer, French coordinator Raphael Meunier, Italian doctor Mauro D’Ascanio and Sudanese national Sharif Mohamadin. “[The] kidnapping of humanitarian workers jeopardizes humanitarian assistance to the most vulnerable. Our independent medical work must be respected if we are to continue working in conflict areas to save the lives of those who suffer most,” said
Christopher Stokes, the Belgian division general director of MSF. Two MSF divisions were among the thirteen ordered out by President al-Bashir in the past month. The president ordered them out in response to the International Criminal Court’s (ICC) call for an arrest warrant against him. The president has been accused of multiple war crimes and crimes against humanity including rape and torture in the Darfur region. These 13 organisations provide half of the assistance in Darfur. The groups ordered out were accused by the President of helping the ICC facilitate his arrest warrant, although workers have denied working with the ICC. The President says that he wants all foreign aid groups to stop distributing aid in Sudan within a year. — With files from CNN and The Globe and Mail Two suicide blasts in Yemen kill 14 South Korean tourists
militants with ties to al-Qaeda. He posed for pictures with a group of 16 Korean tourists before a bomb he was carrying exploded. Four of the Korean nationals, two women and two men, were killed in the blast, as well as a local tour guide. A second attack occurred on Wednesday, March 18 as a delegation, representing the South Korean foreign ministry and family members of the victims of the first attack, was in Yemen’s capital, Sana’a’. Reports indicate that the bomber walked between two cars in a convoy carrying the Koreans to the airport from a hotel in the capital city. Nobody onboard the vehicles was injured in the second attack. South Korea’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade designated Yemen a “travel restriction region” following Sunday’s attack, and was considering banning travel to the country altogether after Wednesday’s attack. — With files from BBC and The Korea Times
KHARTOUM, Sudan In the latest of a spree of incidents targetting foreign nationals in the country, two separate suicide attacks have been perpetrated against South Korean visitors in Yemen. The first attack occurred on March 15 at a UNESCO world heritage site frequented by tourists, in the city of Shibam. According to the AFP, Yemeni authorities say the perpetrator was a 20-year old Yemeni student, who was influenced by local
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Opinion
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009 opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Advocating critical thought
Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Maggie Clark editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Incoming EIC, Michael L. Davenport mdavenport@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Ad Assistant, vacant Sales Assisstant, vacant Systems Admin. Dan Agar Distribution, Garrett Saunders Distribution, Sherif Soliman Interns, Julia Gelfand, Brandon Rampelt Volunteer co-ordinator, Dinh Nguyen Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Sherif Soliman president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Vacant vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Lu Jiang treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Vanessa Pinelli secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Peter Trinh liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Dinh Nguyen Head Reporter, Vacant Lead Proofreader, Alicia Boers Cover Editor, Veronika Zaretsky News Editor, Vacant News Assistant, Ryan Webb Opinion Editor, Adrienne Raw Opinion Assistant, Christine Nanteza Features Editor, Vacant Features Assistant, Mark Zammit Arts & Entertainment Editor, Tina Ironstone Arts & Entertainment Assistant, Vacant Science & Tech Editor, Rajul Saleh Science & Tech Assistant, Vacant Sports & Living Editor, Caitlin McIntyre Sports & Living Assistant, Vacant Photo Editor, Amy LeBlanc Photo Assistant, Shannon Purves Graphics Editor, Vacant Graphics Assistant, Armel Chesnais Web Administrator, Arianna Villa Systems Administrator, Mohammad Jangda Production Staff Mavis Au Yeung, Bogdan Petrescu, Andrew Dodds, Katrina Massey, Keriece Harris, Paul Collier, Susie Roma, Alicia Mah, Shirwan Graphics Team Paul Collier Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122.
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n the days following my last column, wherein I argued for neither wholeheartedly praising nor condemning your UW education (instead always questioning its strengths and weaknesses), the New York Times published an article entitled “Is it time to retrain [business] schools?” while another, entitled “Education means more than job-training,” appeared in the National Post. I love this level of synchronicity in the media: either we’re all right on the money to be discussing these issues, or we’re equally complicit in perpetuating these conversations simply because they’re “trendy.” In any case, last week I addressed the extreme positions of love for, or hatred of, our UW education. This week I tackle the middle ground — why it’s so important to question the quality of our learning, and rigorously re-test its value throughout the whole of our time here, as well as in our lives after. Clearly, from the industry intersections I referred to last week, and the article about business school I mentioned above, it’s fair to assume I’m only framing this debate around whether or not academia is enhanced or degraded by a co-mingling of scholarly and business interests. This is not, however, the only debate I feel university students should be having about what their education at UW amounts to. To this end, it bears mentioning that Stanley Fish, an academic blogger for the New York Times, has been deliberating just as thoroughly on another extreme of academia — specifically the argument that liberal interpretations of academic freedom demand the politicization of scholars in response to world issues. This is just as complex a topic as that of industry’s impact on universities, so please don’t take the pursuant argument to be academic-issue specific: the real point is that we, as students — as scholars — should always ask questions of ourselves, our institutions, our education, and the social context in which we all operate. “Why?” you might ask — and I’m sparing us both the old chestnut of “Why not?” here, so let’s not even start. “Why should we treat something that we’ve paid for, worked for, and now gain profit out of (or don’t) with so much constant doubt? Why can’t we just settle on whether we feel we got our money’s worth or not, and get out, and move on?” To answer this, I turn to the teachings of Prof. Larry Smith, an educator with perhaps the greatest cult following on UW campus — and a small, quieter group of dissenters besides. I belong to the latter category: I understand why so many students love his teaching style, and the content of his stories, but I personally dislike the former, and disagree with much of the latter. Though I’ve heard him speak on a few occasions throughout my university career, one lecture in particular, in a Spring 2008 macroeconomics class I dropped into one day after work, stands out in this regard.
editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Smith’s thesis for this lecture was quite simple: that civilizations begin to die the moment they cease to expand. To forward this thesis, Smith elaborately highlighted a few of the greatest civilizations in history and attributed their descent to an incertitude emerging in leadership the moment empires stopped pressing their borders outward. Many an historian would have a field day tackling the oversimplifications and causal assumptions at work here, but really, it’s an illustrative example for a mainstream economics course: though I prefer lectures that encourage open debate after the extreme use of persuasive argument, there’s nothing inherently wrong about making such assertions to teach the principles of traditional economics. What irked me about this lecture, though, was the corollary to Smith’s thesis — the tidy complacency of it. After soundly condemning civilizations for an ultimate deficit of bravery, Smith turned his focus to what modern day bravery looks like — and in so doing singled out UW students as exemplars (through co-op and international programs alike) of the sort of fearlessness that keeps empires alive. At this point my complacency detectors sounded the most fearsome alarm: O Captain of Industry! Thy name is UW! Bring out the wine! It is one thing to forward a persuasive
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for bringing critical thinking skills with them. If you then go one step further, and praise young undergraduates for the civilization-affirming rightness of their decision to operate in line with the teachings of any one class, you expose said students to a mindset of self-congratulatory complacency. I should note that Smith uses a rhetorical device some may argue offsets the impact of such flattery: specifically, he consistently inserts playfully condescending remarks calling students on their ignorance of a particular school of thought or way of life. But this, in my mind, only further distances students from the use of their own critical thinking skills, strengthening instead their dependency on his words to fill in the gaps. The preference, for me, is clear: the most effective educators are those who facilitate self-learning — forwarding clear themes on specific subjects, but also providing or reinforcing the tools students need to question their own knowledge, as well as that of their textbooks and the teachers themselves, while doing it. The same applies to universities as a whole. Or rather, it should — but since undergraduate students guarantee the university a substantial portion of its operating budget (either through tuition fees or government subsidization), and the university relies in no small part as
The real point is that we, as students — as scholars — should always ask questions of ourselves, our institutions, our education, and the social context in which we all operate.
argument that places constant expansion as a key component of both market and cultural stability. (Although a tougher argument to make today, I’d wager, in light of the current economic climate.) It is in line with this same “thing” to present such an argument in a way that does not allow for a balanced dialogue on the merits and weaknesses of one’s examples and justifications for this thesis. And yes, this is how many professors teach. Fine. A diversity of teaching styles at the very least exposes students to the variation of information models they can expect to engage in the world at large. But the flattery, both direct and for one’s institution, students can and should do without — if only because it makes it ever so much harder for us to think critically and objectively about the material we’re being presented. If you have a professor whose teaching style does not allow for sustained counter-argument (as the prolonged story-telling format of Smith’s lectures naturally discourages), students are already responsible
well on alumni donations and corporate partnerships, it’s no surprise that the maintenance of a reputation beyond reproach is deemed the best way to keep students, alumni, and businesses happily paying in. To this, I have the simplest of arguments to make: a reputation beyond reproach can be interpreted in one of two ways. The first is one wherein difficult issues are suffused in positive PR spin or else largely kept from public discourse, leaving students with an obliviousness about institutional problems they’re free to interpret as they will. The second is one in which the university encourages open and lively debate — through their website, through strong faculty and staff dialogues in public media (in print, on radio, via campus forums), and through challenging their student body — in class and in life itself — to ceaselessly reassess everything they take for granted. Three guesses which approach I find the most scholastic.
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Friday, March 20, 2009 Vol. 31, No. 31
Next staff meeting: Monday, March 23 12:30 p.m. Next board of directors meeting: Friday, March 27 at 1:30 p.m.
graphic by adrienne raw and peter trinh
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Opinion
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
Relationships for the wrong reasons ust because two people are in a relationship doesn’t mean they are going to spend the rest of their lives together. Don’t get me wrong, because plenty of couples I know plan on going the distance. However, I’m sure I am not the only person who knows a few couples who have no intention of staying together for the rest of their lives. So I ask “why be in the relationship at all?” Catherine, a close friend of mine and a hopeless romantic, once stated that “every relationship I have ever been in, I intended to stay in for life.” Catherine has had some epic relationships and I have witnessed a few of them. It made me wonder how she thought so lovingly of her relationships. Sadly, now that she is single, I had to ask her to elaborate. Catherine explained that “there is no way to tell whether or not you’ve found forever, so the only measure of what makes a good relationship is what makes you happy at the moment. The day it stops making you happy, leave; and if it never stops making you happy, never stop fighting for it.” I couldn’t agree more with Catherine
in this, because I always think that happiness is the number one reason to stay with someone. However, the reasons why couples who have no intention of being together forever stay together is hard to find. If you are dating someone, and you know without a doubt you are not going to marry that person, or have a life-long relationship, then why are you still in that relationship? Maybe it’s just my romantic side talking, but I couldn’t imagine being with someone I didn’t see myself with years down the road. Yet I also don’t think that you should look for forever in someone, because it is about the learning, experience, and growth you find in yourself after every relationship. I remember telling an ex that I would always love him for the rest of my life, and that when the time was right, if we were destined to be together, we would try again. Here I am four years later with someone else, who I now think is my true soul mate. Would I trade in the experiences that I had had with my exes now that I think I have found the one? No. Even though I could never
imagine being with any of my exes again, I would never want to forget how I felt with them. The same goes for my current boyfriend, Devin. He told me that he once considered his ex to be “the one.” It’s not easy to hear, but I completely understand why he thought that way about her. We all change and grow, and over time we realize what we need for ourselves, and what the person we are with should be like. A love from years ago now seems childish to me when I look back on it, but when I was with that person, in that moment, I truly felt that I would have never been able to love another person more. Maybe it’s a vicious cycle of relationships where we fall in and out of love, but each time I do it, I love harder, I fall harder, and doubt even more that I could find someone better next time. That is the reason I think people stay in dead-end relationships — fear of not doing better, fear of being alone, and fear of their partner being with someone else. There was a couple that I knew where one person was just waiting for a certain date to come to break
off their relationship. That date happened to be three months down the road. That person explained it as a “good time” to break up because both of them would be getting new jobs, moving, and experiencing new things so the break-up wouldn’t be so bad. It really bothered me that a friend of mine was saying how he
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Maybe some of those people stay in long-term relationships for the experience, but I can’t help but think they have one eye open to the candy around them while they are still in that unfulfilling relationship. If you need to be with someone until you can find someone better, you’re selfish and inconsiderate. Why
If you are dating someone, and you know without a doubt you are not going to marry that person, or have a life-long relationship, then why are you still in that relationship?
didn’t want to be with someone, but was willing to fake it for three months — just to make it easier on himself. Nothing I could say to him would make him realize how selfish this was because he really did wait a few months before breaking up with his girlfriend. I kept thinking that the reason he wanted to stay with her for these three remaining months was so she couldn’t find anyone else in the mean time, and he wouldn’t be the one left alone. Maybe I was wrong, but it sure looked that way. What about the couples that stay together, that clearly know they are not good for each other? Those who know that they won’t be spending their lives together? Like I said before, I think it has something to do with a fear of being alone, and a fear of seeing the person they are with find someone else first. We’ve all heard it, when an ex gets a new girlfriend or boyfriend first — “they win.” If you are left alone and can’t find someone better, “you lose.” It’s stupid, but we’ve all heard it.
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J
nbest@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
waste another person’s time because you can’t bear to be alone while you look for the right person? You owe the person you are with, no matter what they have done to you in the past, the dignity to not be treated as a comfort blanket. This goes both ways as well, because people should stop being the comfort blankets of their indecisive partners. If you are a comfort blanket that has gotten tossed aside once because someone else looked better than you, and you go back to the person who tossed you — you will be tossed again. It’s pretty sad to see what people put themselves through and what they do to others because they are afraid of being alone. There’s not much to say, except that you should all respect yourself, respect your partners, and be in relationships for the right reasons — not for fear of being alone. What goes around comes around, and you want to be the person who deserves someone great in the end.
Opinion
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
9
Community Editorial Conversation for dummies Because in the end, it really is all about you
Melody Jahanzadeh reporter
A
pproaching girls at a bar can be tricky. I get that. You never know if she’s one of those psycho-feminists who insists that she be treated with respect, or if she’s a money-grubbing gold digger who’s only using you for free drinks. And it’s difficult striking up a conversation when you have no idea what a person’s likes and dislikes are. At the risk of offending someone, it’s probably best to just play it safe. Here are some nofail topics for chatting up that special lady while waiting for drinks: Nothing is more fascinating to a girl
1. Your rigorous workout regimen.
than hearing about how often you hit the gym, how much you can bench press and your personal preferences when it comes to protein shakes. It also works well if you interrogate the girl in
question about her workout schedule and tell her what she’s doing wrong; likewise, point out her “problem areas” and give her some tips on how she can trim down those thighs. She will be delighted that you have taken such a keen interest in her well-being and will surely invite you back to her place as a special thank-you.
2. Your impressive drinking abilities.
Make sure to explain in great detail just how far you made it in your journey to join the Century Club, and elaborate on how you would have made it further had your (somewhat regrettable) dinner of Chinese food and pizza not caught up with you. And while not conclusive, there is evidence to suggest that the act of watching a male shotgun multiple beers acts as an aphrodisiac. Keg stands, chugging contests, and other similar quests to show how much you can drink before throwing up are equally attractive to females.
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3. Anything that displays your extreme manliness.
4. Your deep bond with your mother.
There’s a reason you’ve never heard a woman say “That pansy over there is so dreamy.” So man up! Don’t be afraid to confront that 300-pound rugby player if he has the audacity to bump into you and, similarly, if that hulk of a bouncer asks you to leave, don’t give in without a fight. Women love this — nothing screams “awesome guy” like a drunk guy irrationally starting a bar fight [Note: possible effects of this tactic could include massive bruises and a beat down by the bouncers in question]. And to those who have been wrongly informed that the “bigger man walks away from a fight,” I ask you this: where do you think these guys are walking to? Definitely not a hot girl’s house — think about it.
Here, the premise is fairly simple: women automatically equate close relations between a guy and his mom with being great boyfriend material. So feel no shame in telling your lady friend that you call up your mother several times a day and how much you hope your future wife will emulate her. Also, throw in how you’re counting down the days until you move back home because you’ve really missed getting your weekly allowance and explain to her that contrary to popular belief, there’s really nothing wrong with your mother still tucking you in at night. Moreover, outline your future plans to marry and settle down in a house right down the street from dear old Mom, with a wife at home raising all five of your kids. Women always like a man with a plan.
Above all, make sure the conversation revolves around you. The 1950s had it bang-on when they insisted that women be quiet and docile — that’s a standard that females should aspire to even today. So don’t feel bad if your girl’s not getting a word in edgewise; deep down, she prefers that you dominate the conversation and merely use her for your physical needs. Go on and tell her about your dreams of “making it” in the NHL (despite not making the varsity team and not having played for the past five years) and stimulate her intelligence by sharing your proposal that a woman’s place is truly in the kitchen. Explain to her the intricacies of World of Warcraft and why it really is a sport, and enlighten her on why being a guy with a “good personality and a future” is fine for some, but really not something you aspire to. And on the very off chance that these topics do not interest her, or your advances get met with a “Oh shoot, it’s almost 11, I better head home,” simply move on to the next female and play on, player.
10
Opinion
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
On banana caps and fallibility eaboyeji@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
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First and foremost, Africa is not Europe or America. While many of my African brethren would likely disagree with me on this, I firmly believe that Western society is not the best model for Africa’s development, especially as far as social issues are concerned. The last thing I would want for Africa is a cache of contentious social issues such as divorce, abortion, teen depression, suicide, teen pregnancy, and motiveless
within a permanent commitment is wrong, importing the “hook up� culture into Africa under a condom wrap seems to me counterproductive at best and disingenuous at worst. Obviously, tapping into Africa’s moral currents by promoting moral restraints breeds better results, especially since moral restraint is the best-proven method of prevention. No doubt this task is easier said than
There are two major reasons why I believe the Holy Father is right in defending the long-term approach of “moral restraint� against the “banana capping� operation some groups believe is the panacea for the endemic problems of prevalent AIDS and STDs in Africa. gang violence. As I always say, I do not envy those who must deal with the social development problems on this side of the world — they seem to me of the most contentious kind, particularly considering the relative high economic living standards. Africa, I believe, is in a different position. Being a socially conservative continent, we are apt to be in consensus on a wide range of moral values. One of the moral values we can rightly agree on is that even though sex is a pleasurable thing, it is nothing to brag about. In fact, we consider it to be morally wrong under certain conditions. Hence, the general population does not readily accept “Shaniqua-like� columns that discuss sex so explicitly. Some say this is part of the problem and in some sense, I agree. Restricting sex to the private sphere may encourage sexual illiteracy. However, I do not think that the Western model of disseminating sex education (i.e. covering everything that sticks up with condoms) will work in Africa. Moral restraint fits in very well with Africa’s general social construct. Since the majority of Africans agree that sex outside of mutual fidelity
done, especially when one accounts for human weakness. However, sex education should promote it as the most preferable. Therefore, in order to accommodate the strains of human weakness, condoms should be made available and promoted as a less desirable alternative to moral restraint. Unfortunately, what happens now is that Western Aid groups come into Africa and overturn these flows by flooding the continent with condoms whilst waving away attempts at promoting moral restraint. Instead of proposing condoms as a prevention method that helps to accommodate human weakness, they make condoms a justification for Africans to knowingly, go against their deepest moral convictions. They end up saying to Africans, “Here are condoms, go have an orgy,� instead of “You know you shouldn’t be fucking so many randoms, but if you really need to, here are condoms.� This approach ignorantly assumes that if everyone wore condoms, we could eliminate the virus. See FALLIBILITY, page 12
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Yes! I hear your protests — but don’t heckle me just yet. Unlike the Pope, the reasons for my opposition to this “condom-only� solution to HIV/AIDS in Africa are not simplistically grounded in the dogma of Church theology. They are grounded, as always, in the safety of objective reasoning. Before I begin my synopsis on the danger of exclusive condom education, allow me to define a few governing assertions for my observations. First, I must state my bias. I believe that abstinence is the best-proven and most desirable weapon for battling AIDS and other STDs. However, I think abstinence is a misnomer for the concept it is supposed to appropriately define. Thus, in this column, I will replace references to “abstinence� with the term “moral restraint� for the simple reason that it conveys a more accurate depiction of the concept itself. Second, I do not believe, as the radical social conservatives do, that condoms should not be used at all. There is no objective rationale for that sort of thinking. However, I do know that condoms are a short term fix that should not, as it presently does, distract us from the more profitable long term approach of educating people on the value of moral restraint. There are two major reasons why I believe the Holy Father is right in 7!4 % 2 , / / defending the longterm approach of ! NEW EXPERIENCE IN “moral restraint� against the “banana capping� operation some groups believe is the panacea for the "!-"// &,//2).' endemic problems of 2!$)!.4 (%!4).' 0!.%,3 prevalent AIDS and 6/# &2%% 0!).43 STDs in Africa.
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E
very time the Holy Father speaks, my heart quakes — not with the reverence that his infallibility, grounded in Church doctrines, demands, but with fear — fear that Jesus will be nailed upon a cross a second time because of another insensitive and divisive comment. Although I am not Catholic, I have nothing but absolute respect for the Holy Father, a practice entrenched by virtue of my deep roots in Catholic education. From elementary school to university, only a Catholic education has proved good enough for me. However, since the death of Pope John Paul, my faith in the Pope’s credibility has been shaken. Pope Benedict has jumped from controversy to controversy, from his history as a Nazi Youth sympathizer to derogatory comments made about Islam, and his tolerance (often construed as reverence) towards Holocaust deniers and Nazi sympathizers including Pope Pius XII and Bishop Williamson. Let there be no doubt, Pope Benedict has done a terrible job representing Jesus. So when the Pope headlined my daily news again last week, my heart quaked, and I wondered, what in the world could the Holy Father have said this time? According to the Pope, AIDS cannot be resolved just by distributing condoms, especially in Africa. He said only the Church’s teaching of abstinence would eventually solve the problem. This time, my heart calmed. The Pope had only told his truth against the objections of nihilist interest groups who persistently push for valueless societies against any objectively better judgments.
letters@ imprint. uwaterloo.ca
Opinion
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
11
Letters I have noticed in the past few issues that you have posted an ad for an egg donor. I understand that this is part of the classified section and therefore it does not support your own beliefs. However, by allowing people to post such an ad in a university paper you are encouraging an unjust system. Women of university age often see egg donorship as a way to make money without fully considering the moral implications of the procedure or the fact that it involves invasive surgery. The system has been taking advantage of the financial situation of university students and I ask that you refrain from posting such ads in the future.
Israel broke it then can you ever trust him in telling you the truth? There is plenty of similar misleading information (if not lies) and they cannot be addressed in a letter to the editor. However I would like to encourage any one of you who go to “The Case for Israel” presentation to also look at the academic work of Norman Finkelstein, “Beyond Chutzpah,” showing the lies in this book and to have a look at the very interesting debate with Alan Dershowitz about this on DemocracyNow.org. Salaamun-alaykum (peace be upon you). Bashir Sadjad Computer science
Alicia Kuntz
Re: “Truth compromised in Israel-Palestinian conflict” To the editor, There is no problem with this article being a pure propaganda for Israel, but what is really annoying is the author depicting himself as a champion of truth! Let’s start from the beginning of his article which as usual starts with the statistics of thousands of rockets being launched into Israel and depicting Israel as the victim not the occupier force in the last 60 years. He had a similar article on January 16 in Imprint and I already wrote a detailed response to it that eventually appeared in Imprint on February 20. If back in January, a member of “Israel on Campus” was not aware that rocket launching was almost stopped after the cease-fire between Hamas and Israel last year, he should definitely know it by now reading the numbers I represented that were coming from Israel Foreign Ministry. As someone who is expected to monitor articles about his group’s main interest in the university newspaper, he should also know that it was Israel who broke the cease-fire on November 4 by killing Hamas members in Gaza. Well, of course I don’t believe that he did not know these facts even in January but anyway if such a person continues his misleading statistics without any reference to the fact that the latest cease-fire was actually working until
Re: Disconnect yourself To the editor, These days everyone owns a computer, cell phone, or an MP3 player. These items of technology are intended to enhance our lives, but what if they were negatively affecting them? The more attached we become to technology, the more detached we become from the rest of the world. More and more these days communication is based on technology and less on social skills. Young children are becoming more socially awkward due to overexposure to technology. The effects of technology go far beyond children; it has even resulted in changes in how people date. Now people can date using the telephone and online websites. These were created because many people are more comfortable hiding behind a false persona. A study discovered that text messaging has become the number one method of asking people out on a first date, which absolutely shocked me. The worst part is every year our reliance on technology is becoming even stronger. So now that we have established that our society is over dependent on technology, where do we go from here? My advice, walk away from your computers, cell phones, and MP3 players if you leave them at home. Many forget that all of your missed messages will be there when you get back, but the little moments you are missing out on in everyday life will be gone forever. When listening to music or texting people appear very unapproachable.
Many people talk about how hard it is to meet people at this university but maybe if people were not so disconnected from the world while walking around you could prevent the right person from walking by you. So talk to someone in line, write your notes by hand, read a book, go for a walk, enjoy your natural surroundings. Rachel Tucker Planning, first year
he presets his policy changes to the public well, and has not decided to be secretive about them like a certain Prime Minister of Canada. President Obama has been open with his decisions from when he closed down Guantanamo Bay to most recently the stem cell policies. President Obama’s straight to the point decision-making has made me glad that our neighbours to the South made him their commander and chief. Patrick Azeitona Planning, first year
Re: Change to U.S. stem cell research policy To the editor, I have been interested in stem cell ethics for a long time. Even though the stem cell research policies passed by President Barack Obama will most likely have a negative effect on research in Canada, I am glad that the policies in the U.S. have changed. The research grants that will be handed out to researchers in the U.S. more than
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Re: Changes to Orientation Week To the editor, I seriously cannot believe any official at this university would ever consider shortening orientation week to only three days. It’s starting to look a lot like the orientation week at my old school, the University of Alberta. My
Many people talk about how hard it is to meet people at this university but maybe if people were not so disconnected from the world while walking around you could prevent the right person from walking by you.
— Rachel Tucker Planning, first year
likely will allow for huge strides for combating certain diseases and conditions. I find it almost humorous how fast a change is made on the stem cell policies from the previous presidential term to the present one. It somewhat seemed that president George W. Bush was trying to humour both sides, while not being able to separate his beliefs from the subject. I was not ready to give my support to President Obama quite yet as I was not sure about how he would fit under the role of president, so far he has shown me no reason for me to withhold my support. I am glad as a religious individual Obama was still able to separate his beliefs from what he believes the U.S. needs. President Obama has also handled how
orientation week was two days of complete bullshit. All we did was wander around campus with orientation leaders with absolutely no interpersonal skills and enjoy exciting activities such as “Learning to Authenticate on the Campus Wireless Network” and “Pick Up Your Bus Pass.” If our orientation week turns into anything remotely similar to this, I will be less than enthusiastic about volunteering my time to help plan and run UW Orientation. Marc LeBlanc Environmental studies, second year
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Re: Egg donorship in the paper To the editor,
Toronto’s Christian University
2
Opinion
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
Fallibility: see the papacy Continued from page 10
Another reason condoms should not be the “be all, end all” solution for AIDS is that it excuses the deeper social and moral issues that surround trends in communities with HIV prevalence. With condoms, we can easily turn a blind eye to the poverty that turns many young African women to prostitution; we can abandon the moral outrage that should come with infidelity, of which women are mainly victims by way of mistresses, as well as the problems of polygamy and forced marriage. Emphasis on condom education encourages the false notion that there is a disconnect between AIDS and other social issues in Africa. More so, condoms provide a false sense of security for the general populations — whether or not they are infected with the virus. As I was apt to discover from teenagers
my age in Africa, they see no need to take HIV/AIDS tests since they believe that condoms provide absolute security against the virus. What is particularly dangerous about this is that the false sense of security condoms provide unravels. With the advent of the “hook up” culture, condoms are becoming less of a prerequisite for sex since sex is hardly the planned outcome of nights out. A condom culture exacerbates rather than dissipates the problems associated with these trends. On the other hand, the advantage of moral restraint is its moral undertone. It exclusively frowns against the societal ills that have encouraged the prevalence of AIDS in Africa. When moral restraint is the focus of policy makers in high prevalence areas, other problems come into appropriate focus. Since moral restraint cannot be forced on people, stakeholders now have
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a responsibility to think about other social factors that encourage or discourage restraint — the temptations, if you will. When they explore these factors, they will realize that discrimination against women encourages a mindset that women are sex objects. They will realize that in Africa, very little sexual activity is entirely consensual; often sex is for jobs, money, school fees, or the thousands of other variations of sexual exploitation that exist. They will also find that lack of woman empowerment often leaves African women at the mercy of chauvinist oppressors. While an emphasis on moral restraint makes the outrage of these acts more evident, condoms humanize crimes against women in Africa. Even on issues like birth control, one sees that moral restraint provides an avenue for one to explore broader social avenues, such as female empowerment, that leave women less time to get laid, or carefully considered incentives for couples who have less children in an effort to encourage moral restraint. These approaches to solving health problems in Africa are multi pronged. As we say in Africa, they allow us to kill two birds with one stone. I must still say that the Holy Father managed to disappoint me by claiming falsely that condoms “aggravate the problems” associated with AIDS. No doubt, condoms have wrought small miracles even though they might not allow enough illumination on the broader views of the issues involved. Like a friend on the other side of the aisle in this debate smartly concluded in a similar debate with me, “Handing out condoms is easy, educating people and encouraging societal change is the hard part.” The Holy Father was right — “banana caps” would not ultimately solve the problem — but at the same time, he was wrong — they can do an appreciated little, anyway. In any case, the infallibility of the Papacy need not be sacrificed on unwholesome half-truths.
Letters “Students smoked out” To the editor, I am writing this letter not only as a concerned UW student, but also as a victim of an event covered in last week’s Imprint, “Students smoked out.” I am a resident in the townhouse complex located near the corner of Phillip Street and Columbia Avenue in Waterloo, ON. On Friday, March 6, an unfortunate event took place in my unit. While my roommates and I were out of the unit, although not “each at separate parties,” a fire broke out. While I understand that an event such as this is considered news and should be published — as it was in the Region of Waterloo’s The Record website on Saturday March 5 — it is also my understanding that it is the responsibility of reporters and editing staff to check facts before publishing any information events receiving coverage. As a victim of the unfortunate event, I can say with utmost confidence that I know what happened on the night in question. That being said, I can without a doubt say that many, if not the majority of the facts presented in the article were not, in reality, factual. I will not go into detail as to what the actual happenings of the evening were, since no effort was made to contact me, or any of the other students who are now “living in an unoccupied unit while their belongings are being retrieved from the destroyed unit.” I would just like to say that after reading this article, I will be much more critical of the news I read in the Imprint. I should also say that there are probably safer ways to check your smoke alarm other than “burning some toast.” — Samantha Labont Planning, fourth year In the last issue of Imprint, I was quite surprised to find an article outlining the fire that occurred at my house on Friday, March 6. I was even more shocked after reading the article regarding its evident misrepresentation of the event. First of all, the article mentions the origin of the fire. Apparently the Imprint reporters have an inside
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connection with the Waterloo Fire Department, since the Fire Prevention investigators have yet to give the actual occupants of the unit conclusive evidence of the source. If this is the case, kudos to you, but if not — reporting assumptions and hearsay as fact is probably not the best type of journalism. Also with regards to the mentioned source: “a coffee maker left sitting on a stove top” — I assure you that our coffee maker never has been used or left on the stove, and I am unsure of in which households this would be the case. A second concern with last week’s article is the portrayal of the unit’s tenants. Although apparently the landlord mentioned that “the four girls who live in the unit had each been at separate parties at the time,” he is probably not the best source for information regarding his occupants’ whereabouts. Though the four of us were at separate locations, not one of us was at a party. Also, none of us were working that evening, and I am curious to know from where the fact that someone “had to leave her job at Ride Safe in order to return to her scorched home” was obtained. As an aside, the service formerly known as “Ride Safe” — which operated under Student Security — no longer exists; it is now designated “Off-campus Shuttle,” part of the new shuttle service offered by UW. Although there are similarities, I suggest that Imprint invest in a fact-checker to keep up to date on the services offered by our university. Furthermore, the article goes on to say that “the fire is a reminder to students learning to live independently that there are great responsibilities.” Although fire safety is important, and there are probably few who would disagree, it is also essential to learn and understand the facts (which, at this point, are very few) and not pin the incident solely on a lack of responsibility or inability to live independently. Sometimes events happen that are out of our control, and at times we want to keep these to ourselves... instead of having the story broadcast to the university audience in a biased and condescending way. — Atia Haq Kinesiology, fourth year
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Features
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009 features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Mitchell Bard, Middle Eastern foreign policy analyst, spoke on March 10 at an Israel on Campus event entitled “Myths and Facts about the Arab-Israeli Conflict.”
photos by mark zammit
Amir Locker-Bilecki, ex Israeli soldier, speaks at a March 6 event hosted by UW’s Students for Palestinian Rights, and Laurier for Palestine.
A balanced discussion Mark Zammit features editor
T
he week of March 2 to March 6 marked International Celebrations Week at the University of Waterloo. However, amidst the joyous events, there were somber undercurrents, as another series of gathering were also taking place. This week marked the fifth recurrence of Israel Apartheid Week, and Waterloo was host to its own array of informative happenings. What is Israel Apartheid Week? I asked myself this very same question when I saw posters advertising various related events. In my exploration of this topic through campus events, in conjunction with personal research, I found more questions and contentions than absolute answers. According to Princeton Wordnet, apartheid is “a social policy or racial segregation involving political, economic, and legal discrimination against people” of a specific group. In this case, the apartheid is said to be against the Palestinian people, by the Israeli nation. I also discovered that Israeli Apartheid Week is designed to highlight the political and military conflicts in the Israeli-Palestinian zones in the Middle East. It was initiated in 2005 by the Occupied Palestine and Syrian Golan Heights Advocacy Initiative to unite fellow causes in the fight to end the Israeli occupation of the Palestinian zones in the West Bank, Gaza, and Golan Heights. For those unfamiliar with the whole story, the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians extends back several decades. However, a major catalyst occurred in the form of the Six-Day War in June of 1967. A series of disputes
led to a war on Israel by Egypt, Jordan, Syria, and Iraq, which led to the Israeli capture and occupation of the Gaza Strip from Egypt, the West Bank from Jordan, and the Golan Heights from Syria. The main problem arises from the fact that the Palestinian territories, previously outlined by the British Mandate of Palestine, consist of the Gaza Strip and West Bank. These regions were under the control of Islamic nations, but their newfound occupation put them under the rule of Israel, which is a Jewish state. Conflicting are the opposing views of Palestinian Nationalism and Israeli Nationalism. Palestinians have continuously fought Israeli forces and have been met with harsh retaliation; with the relatively recent induction of Hamas rule, the fighting has intensified and talks for peace continue to disintegrate. Rather than continue with an indepth history and analysis of the issue, I will relate to you some insights gleaned from two events I attended — one hosted by Laurier for Palestine (L4P) and Students for Palestinian Rights UW (SFPR), and the other by Israel on Campus. The first presentation was from a guest speaker invited by SFPR named Amir Locker-Biletzki. Locker-Biletzki was a former staff sergeant for the Israeli Defense Force, but refused to serve in the Palestinian dispute. He is what as known as a Refusenik, someone who protested the fight on moral grounds. As an Israeli himself, this was a profound move, as citizens serve mandatory time in the armed forces, and take great pride in defending their national identity. He feels that Israel is persecuting Palestinians and revoking their right to a national identity — that Israel is “perpetuating a state of apartheid.” He was part of
a group called Courage to Refuse, which was formed in 2002. This does not mean that Locker-Biletzki supports the actions of Hamas and the radical militants: in fact his stance was questioned rather pointedly by Kyle Harris, a member of Israel on Campus, who asked: “Israeli citizens are being killed. How should they respond when they have the right to self-defense? If Hamas fires rockets at Israel, should Israel not fire back the same rockets?” Locker-Biletzki’s standpoint is that Israel should cease violent retaliation and focus on negotiations with the Palestinians and focus on the talks, focus on building relations and building a future for a currently homeless nation. Israel on Campus, which disagrees with the use of the term “apartheid” in relation to the situation in the Middle East, itself hosted a lecture by an expert on Middle-East Foreign Policy, Mitchell Bard, entitled Myths & Facts about the Arab-Israeli Conflict. He is the executive director of the nonprofit American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise, and director of the Jewish Virtual Library. Contrary to what I initially expected, Bard was also quite critical of Israel’s handling of the situation. He too believes that the key to success is through negotiation; however his key difference from Locker-Bilecki is that he also believes that the Palestinians have to be more open and willing to work with the Israelis. He also believes that Hamas’ reign over the Palestinian people needs to end before anything productive can be achieved. The discussion then turned to the inappropriateness of the term “apartheid.” According to Bard, the term is being thrown around with reckless abandon, recently being used to describe the Israeli nation and the
Jewish identity as a whole as suppressing the existence of Palestine, and the national identity of Palestinians. This particular context — the very existence of Israel — is considered a form of anti-Semitism. Attending this seminar were representatives from Laurier for Palestine, and they disagreed with the remarks about anti-Semitism. Sterling Stutz from L4P asked “Can people criticize Israel and not be labeled as anti-Semitic?” and Gina Kish, also from L4P, asked “How is it justifiable to connect criticism of Jews with AntiSemitism, but not the criticism of Arab states with Islamophobia?” Bard then explained that criticism only becomes anti-Semitism when coupled with intent for the eradication of Jews, a concept realized by denying the legitimacy of the state of Israel — the national seat of Jewish identity — as a whole. Those who do this, argued Bard, do not advocate in Israel’s interest at all; in comparison, criticism of the Arab states is ostensibly made with the intent of bettering the lives of inhabitants therein. Thus, it is not Islamophobic. As a relative outsider to this whole scenario, there was a steep learning curve and a lot of information to digest. I can, however, commend both speakers and audiences at each event for fair representations of their perspectives, and cool composure. The events were eye-opening, and I am very glad to have attended them. Perhaps, if such calm demeanors were contagious, we could see an ideal resolution for both sides in the not-so-distant future. mzammit@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
— With files from Princeton Wordnet, HuffingtonPost.com, The Globe and Mail, BBC News, and apartheidweek.org.
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Features
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
What does it take to save? imerrow@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
making centres of your brain? If all there are some interesting personalAnother personality characteryour buying decisions were made by ity characteristics that come into play istic that comes into play during strict cut-and-dry rules about utility when money’s involved. spending decisions is your level of and opportunity cost (and purchases One is risk aversion. How fright- conscientiousness — how likely you are were always soberly reflected on), ened are you by risky moves that could to keep your life planned out, alphainfomercials might not exist, and provide a big payoff ? Depending on betically organized and most of all, the world would be a different how risk averse you are, you might disciplined. This might have a lot to do place. Clearly, with how we’re there must be raised as kids, What actually impacts our spending some underlybut you have to ing principles in admit there are habits, and what can we do about it? effect beyond, some people “Do I need it, who take more and can I afnaturally to a ford it?� What actually impacts our feel okay having very little in the bank coil-bound agenda than others. On spending habits, and what can we do when another person in your shoes the other end of the conscientiousabout it? might be worried. Excessive gambling ness-continuum is impulsiveness — a Needless to say, everyone is dif- is an extreme case of low-risk aver- naturally tough fit to a regimented ferent, so the reason you’re broke sion, but in all cases saving tends to budget-driven lifestyle. If you know might not be the same as the retired be threatened when you only feel alive you’re more impulsive than the avstockbroker next door. However, while hanging on the edge. erage bear, financial “contingency
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ome people save money, and some people don’t. Having the same income and the same basic needs, what is the motivation, the credo, the driving force that helps one person on (or off) the savings bandwagon? Is there something in our nature that makes it possible to hold onto our money better, for longer, or is it more like a skill we learn as we go along? More importantly, what does it take to get you to think about your money and how you spend it? There are a variety of arguments to be made for saving money. Fundamentally, it makes sense in an intuitive kind of way because you never know what will happen tomorrow. But what kinds of irrational forces throw off your best intentions to save money in the swirling biochemical decision-
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IMPRINT Campus media may be the last stand for print journalism. Wanna make it your Alamo? Volunteer! Write features@ imprint.uwaterloo. ca for more info.
Features
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
5
Asian males and media
A dearth of strong roles yliu@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Many of us, even those who are not Asian, are well aware of the ubiquity of the Asian female white male pairings, and of the rarity of the reverse.
called “Yellow Fever.” The film was intended as a humourous take on the romantic frustrations of the typical Asian-American male. In the short film, Phil, an Asian American wondered why he couldn’t get attract any attention from Asian girls, much less white girls. Meanwhile, his white male brethren could draw the fancy of Asian girls by merely breathing. “Yellow Fever” poked fun at the Asian male stereotypes of studious geeks, and emasculated foreigners. The film was an instant online hit, drawing millions of views through video streaming sites, email forwards and Myspace and Facebook.
men as geeky and asexual, and the dearth of Asian-male role models in Western media. Many of us, even those who are not Asian, are well aware of the ubiquity of the Asian female - white male pairings, and of the rarity of the reverse, the Asian male - white female pairing. Truth be told, Asian male – anybody pairings are much fewer compared to other races. US census data shows that only Black females have higher rates of never having been married. The ambivalence towards Asian males even extends to the gay community, where many gay Asian males express romantic indifference towards other Asians.
Since Wong Fu’s “Yellow Fever” hit the internet, thousands of videos on YouTube and blog posts from all around have pontificated on why Asian guys can’t get the white girls. Explanations have ranged from height (or lack thereof), shyness, geekiness, cultural reservations, etc, etc. However, few touch on the heart of the issue, that it’s largely not about getting girls (White or Asian), it is about the role that traditional Western media has in not portraying Asian males as fitting the mold of Western masculinity ideals. Asian males have long been portrayed as either sidekicks to the starring White males (see Kato played by Bruce Lee, sidekick to the Green Hornet). As Yul-Kwon, winner of Survivor: Cook Islands succinctly puts it, “whenever I saw an AsianAmerican man on television, he was inevitably a kung-fu master who could kick ass but he couldn’t speak English, or a computer geek who could figure out algorithms but couldn’t figure out how to get a date. And for myself, I really think I internalized a lot of these images.” While Asian females are often shown starring in romantic roles in Western movies and TV shows. Asian males are rarely shown in starring roles where they have a female love interest. Exposed to role after role of Asians as the perpetual foreigner and the geek, causes young Asians to internal-
ize these roles. This internalized relationship is problematic because Asian American men rarely challenge the association between race and masculine self-worth. Rather than advocate the elimination of race-based sexual stereotypes, the focus in the community is based on changing the stereotypes of Asian-American men. This scheme is doomed to failure because it promotes objectification and these stereotypes rarely change from periphery challenges. This does not mean that Western media is largely at fault for the current state of Asian male identity. Rather, cultural differences also play a large role in the sexual identity of Asian males. Popular Asian culture
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groomed, sharply dressed “pretty boys” as the height of desirability. Asian males growing up in the West often find themselves in a tug-of-war as to which standard of attractiveness they should conform to. This is expressed in the difference between CBC and FOB guys, in which the CBC attempt to conform to more Western standards and FOBs tend towards the Asian standards. For such stereotypes of North American Asian males to disappear, Asian men need to take on a more active role in the Western entertainment industry much like Wong Fu Productions is attempting to do. The portrayal of Asian males needs to be reshaped from the traditional stereotypical roles
Rather, cultural differences also play a large role in the sexual identity of Asian males.
often promote celebrity males that, while wildly popular with females in Asia, are considered effeminate by Western standards. Thus a clash of culture is often at play: while the West promotes tanned, well muscled, and “rough-looking” males as the epitome of masculinity, Asian culture often promotes well-
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The film struck a chord with many in the North American Asian community, touching on many elephants in the room. The inequality in dating between Asian males and Asian females, the stereotypes of Asian
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n 2006, a trio of Juniors at University of California San Diego, Phillip Wang, Wesley Chan, and Ted Fu with their own amateur film company, Wong Fu productions, released a short film
that have been given in Hollywood into multi-dimensional characters who are real people. We are seeing a slow influx of characters such as Daniel Dae Kim of Lost and Masi Oka of Heroes. Look forward to part two next week, when I’ll discuss the changing roles of Asians in popular Western media.
crime on campus Parts 4 and 5 (Drug Culture, Facts & Fictions, and Violent Crime) will appear simultaneously in the March 27 issue of Imprint.
BUT FIRST We need YOUR THOUGHTS on: A) legalizing criminalizing drug use in Canada B) why pot use especially is branded to student culture — what makes us smoke up?
Send your feedback to editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca by Tuesday, March 24 at 5 p.m.
Photo Feature
BELLYDANCE
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
Members of the belly-dancing club rehearse their veil piece number for “Waterloo’s Got Talent.”
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uw dance “We’ve been waiting for the fire and passion of dance to die down and it just hasn’t” BREAKDANCE
UW Breakers co-captain freestyles between hanging out with the group late one Friday night in SLC. The group meets between nine and whenever they feel like calling it a night. There are no formal classes or lessons, and anyone is encouraged to come out, no experience necessary.
JULIA HAWTHORNTHWAITE
DANCE PAK JULIA HAWTHORNTHWAITE
Dancer Lilli Markle practices her hip hop number at Terpsichore Dance Competition held March 14 in Guelph, where the UW Dance Pak also competed with a lyrical number entitled “Slow Me Down.”
Love to move Julia Hawthornthwaite reporter
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t is not surprising to me that even as I travelled between the various dance groups on campus, I found their knowledge of each other was limited. There are a number of dance clubs and teams at UW, including the four seen here, but they all seem to lack a connection with each other, and knowledge of the groups is not widespread. The dancers of different dance genres, who can be found in the PAC studios, theatre stages, and even the atrium of the SLC, are unified by a love for music, movement, and fun. Some groups focus more on structure, such as the ballroom dance club, and others more on style, like the UW Breakers. Regardless, dance exists as “a great outlet for students” said Bastian Cassidy-Feddern, ballroom dance instructor, as she explained why dance is an important facet of campus life. “It’s exercise, it’s a break from studies, and I see friendships being made.” Even with the removal of all dance courses as of winter 2008, the art form maintains a strong hold outside academic life thanks to dedicated students and teachers. Cassidy-Feddern also said, “it seems as though we’ve [the university] been waiting for the fire and passion of dance to die down, and it just hasn’t” — something which brightens the spirits of all those involved. The UW Dance Pak, Belly-dancing club and many more can be seen at “Waterloo’s Got Talent,” held in PAC gym Friday, March 27, from 7-9 p.m. jhawthornthwaite@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
BALLROOM
JULIA HAWTHORNTHWAITE
Jason Peasgood and Monica Tsang practise the Cha Cha Cha during their Sunday night workshop in the PAC. The club alternates between hosting professional ballroom teachers and engaging in more relaxed workshops.
JULIA HAWTHORNTHWAITE
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16
Arts & Entertainment
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009 arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Travelling sound E. Aboyeji, with special thanks to Angela Omiyi and Rafeeat Aliyu. staff reporter
Lots of my friends know I travel a lot — and I love to. Still, there are restraints on this movement — time, money, accommodation and the thousand and one “worry lists” associated with changing positions and gaining new experiences. However, when I am trapped in a stationary location that makes me feel stifled, I turn to another medium. No, not time travel, or something extraordinarily superficial like oriental meditation or concentration therapy that allows one to traipse the realities of time and space. My medium is something universal; it is likely the most widely spoken language in the world — sound. I travel through music. In the evenings, after being broken down in school by lectures and discussions of all sort, I log on to my discrete YouTube account, ready to travel. I begin in Israel and end up in Oman. I travel through Somali pain and American noise, Beirut beats and Motown rhythms, the Salsa and the foxtrot, Arabic and French language, I know them all. I even manage to make the ordinarily difficult trip to familiar Nigerian markets or chip in on the “maga” chatter of my country’s youth. I end up sitting on a chair for hours, ears plugged in contemplation of the many stories music can tell regardless of language and time barriers, travelling the world on a magic carpet of sound waves. Aladdin would be jealous, no doubt. This week, I decided to share one of my many travel tickets with you. No Visas needed, all aboard on YouTube’s global passport. I will host you on the magic carpet of sound. Despite this I ask that if you do not enjoy my destinations, I have no problem with you finding your own. Also, I ask that you disregard the language and try to grasp the story behind it. A few internet searches might actually do you good. We should start strong. My first piece is from Cape Verde. “Lua” by Mayra Andrade is one of those songs I (and unfortunately the tenants upstairs) sleep and wake up to. Nothing put me to sleep better than the fast paced melodies of Cape Verde’s beautiful musical queen. It has a magical rhythm to it, the sort that makes one want to think and dance at the same time. If all you want to do after a long day is fall asleep, also listen to her accomplices: Lura and Cesaria Evora. At the obvious risk of insidious political overtones, my next piece is from Israel. You might have thought Israeli were only good at being geeky nobel prize winners, but they also have a thing for good music. One of the songs I have enjoyed the most is “Mima’amakim” by Idan Raichel. Apart
from its theme of social justice, love and unity, his songs have an Ethiopian folk ring to them and they are sung in Hebrew, one of the two languages I really wish I could understand (the other is Arabic). Mor Kabassi is another of my much-loved Israeli musicians with similar styles even though she might be a little too orthodox for gentiles. Arabic music. Where do I start? Do I begin with Amr Diab, Native Deen, Fairuz, or Salem Al Fakir plus the host of others that I can ramble on about? Even though I think more Arabic youth should definitely express more of their experiences in sound (there is not that much material now), Arabic music is becoming a strong force that can no longer be ignored in the mainstream. The unique thing about Arabic sound is that their ensembles are unquestionably exotic. Whether we are talking Nancy Ajram, Samira Said, Aldo, Dalida, or Sherine, one can easily tell that even in the din of pop beats that the music is proudly Arabic. As upcoming pop musicians like ZeeZee Adel (the Arabic world’s Beyonce) and Somaia spring up, this genre of music is bound to become even richer in the short term. As wonderful groups like Palestinian Rappers and Palestinian Hiphop and Ramallah Underground gain strength in the music world, perhaps Arabic music concerned with social justice issues. The song that constantly plays in my head is Sakina by Native Deen. It simply fills me with the peace it sings of. If anyone needs concrete evidence on how Western culture is heavily influencing Asian music, you need go no further: On my travels, I have met many Asian musical groups that seem to resemble 1970’s American music — only far better and much happier. When I need a new image of Asians that contrasts with stereotypes them as Asians as nerdy mathematicians, I look to this all girl Korean pop group, Wonder Girls. I particularly like their song, “Nobody.” This Asian “back to the seventies” mix crusade is similarly supported by Cambodia’s Dengue Fever in “Sni Bong” and Indonesia’s White Shoes and the Couples Company in “Tentang Cita” All this good mood music will leave you with a smiley face. After SlumDog Millionaire, no doubt, our images of Bollywood will never remain the same. Bollywood music simply captivates me. Bollywood music is where the sing -along and the dance-along meet. It often leaves me wondering whether to watch the movie or just dance. Most times, I end up doing both. Slumdog Millionaire’s soundtrack done by A.R Rahman is one that is especially hot right now considering the movies’ box office success. Another favourite Bollywood soundtrack from the movie Bachna Ae Haseeno about a player who falls in love three times. Not right but
funny all the same (the YouTube video is a classic act, watch it.) Nothing defines a great night out like a good Regeatton or dance hall jam. Since I am not one for excessive clubbing, I love to jam to music from my “brothers from other mothers” in privacy. (Don’t even attempt to imagine the weird dance steps I concoct. Just know the YouTube video would be worth a fortune). Good selections of music from the world’s most beautiful islands are TNT’s “Stressfree”, Movado’s “So Special” and my best – Serani’s “No Games.” It is customary to associate Canada with boredom — sorry, modesty, and America with the Hip and the Hop. So when I found and eventually fell in love with an American band, I was surprised. But to be fair, their music is very misplaced. For one, it is hardly American. The group is even stranger because it bears a misnomer—they are called Beirut. They sing folk music of the most inspiring type. After listening to their songs, I feel really energised. Over the years, I have come to consider them as my more than occasional high. It’s always cloud nine when I’m plugged into their music. My favourite song from this group is “Nantes”— the most beautiful song about the most beautiful city in France that I would love to visit. Guitars, cellos, harps, violin are used in this group, which adds a new string instrument to the mix — the ukulele — sounds sick! My ears hasten to return to my home — Africa. Suddenly, I feel I have arrived in my resting place even though my body tells an entirely different story. Something jolts in my mind when I hear African music, even if I can’t understand it. It’s the kind of life thar all the caffeine in Red bull still denies you after a really long day. Because there is a huge genre of music from my homeland, I think I should just divide the music into four parts. The first is music that absolutely gets you moving. The song that tops my list for me is “African Tonic” by Mali’s Mokobe. You have to be a robot not to move to this song (at least if you understand a little bit of French.) I am guilty of terrorizing my entire neighbourhood with these sounds; there are a wide range of artists. There is Magic System’s “Zougloudance;” the entire Kwaito movement from Bongo Maffin, Thandiswa, Rhythmic elements, Lahlumneze, Zonke, DJ Cleo, DJ Mujava and the thousands other Kawitos that exist. Nigeria’s Dbanj, Don Jazzy and PSquare do an extraordinary job as well. There is also the entire Makossa and Soukouss movement (Danger: Extremely sexy beats!) and other interesting African dance musicians too numerous to mention. The second is music that absolutely gets you thinking. My favourite is ‘‘Kidiamfuka” by Congo’s Fally Ipupa. However, there are a wide range of other talented artistes: Khadja Nin in “Wale Watu,” Ahmed
Soultan’s “Achkide,” Freshlyground in “Belly Pot,” Las Hijas de Sol in “Ay Corazon,” Terrakota in “E-Verdade” D-FE in “Muziki,” Manou Gallo, Dobet Gnahore in “Pillage”, “Namboozo” by Tshila, Gigi in “Jerusalem”, “Senegal fast food” and “Je Pense a toi” by blind couple Amodu and Mariam, “Ololufe” by Wande Coal and “Runaway” by Styl. The third genre of African music is what I call activist music — music that gets you doing. At the top of this list is our own Dusty Foot Philosopher. “Soobax” is probably the most courageous song ever written. Even though there seems to be a contracted market for this kind of music in Africa (most countries are independent), emancipatory songs seem to have done very well especially on the global stage. One of the most important one I can guarantee feminists would love to hear about is Oumou Sangare who sings about African women’s issues like forced marriage, female genital mutilation, empowering women. Many African feminists absolutely adore her songs — I do too. There is also Tinariwen which floats from being a rebel Tuareg group that fights for independence in Mali and Niger to being a musical group of a most unique class — desert blues. There is Aziza Brahim who is fighting for Western Sahara’s independence through her music as well as Nigeria’s Timaya fighting for Justice for the Niger Delta’s peoples of Southern Nigeria. Of course, we cannot forget War Child Jal Emmanuel, who is trying to rebuild Southern Sudan with his music. These people do the important work of advancing free and just societies through their music. And lastly there are the floaters — those with a noticeably African style but sing about anything. To the best of my knowledge, there seems to be a concentration of such musicians in West Africa. One of the biggest artists is Tuface, whose song “Enter the Place” places him in dance category, songs “African Queen” and “Flex” (with R. Kelly) puts him in the thought category, and most importantly, his critique of Nigerian politics in “For Instance” puts him in the activist category. Such musicians are absolute musts in any African’s music library. Now our journey must end or I fear I shall stiffen in this seat in real life and be frozen here forever. However, if you want me to travel sound some more, send me an email with your artists name and a link to their music (preferably free outlets, too broke). It is time to disembark…..but wait! If you feel you really need to travel on my magic carpet in real time, you can head to the Bomber on Monday night. Now — away my magic carpet. Listen to more African music with DJ Edu on BBC1 extra.
Tina Ironstone
Arts & Entertainment
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
19
Reviews Music
plixid.com
Dark Horse Nickelback Roadrunner Records
The latest studio album from Nickelback has a great dark and gritty edge. It is harder than some of their more recent offerings. They also have some really raunchy undertones in both their music and the lyrics. Something In Your Mouth, Shakin’ Hands and S.E.X are some examples of their grittier songs. These songs include lyrics such as, From Something In Your Mouth: “Got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body, They say it’s over budget, but you’d pay her just to touch it, come on!” Also from the song Shaking Hands : “Well, she ain’t no Cinderella when she’s getting undressed, cause she rocks it like the naughty wicked witch of the west. Far too pretty to be giving it cheap. That’s why she’s making six figures working’ three days a week” This is an amazing album, good to work to and great to drive to. The album is so good it is all I have listened to that for over a week straight. Fantastic percussion, strong guitar riffs and as always tremendous vocals from Chad Kroeger. The album is riveting you find yourself enjoying the tune your listening to and anticipating the one to come. The only drawback is because of how raunchy the album is I cannot listen to it with my kids in the car, an example is from S.E.X.: “Yes sex is always the answer It’s never a question Cause the answer’s yes Oh the answer’s yes Not just a suggestion If you ask the question Then it’s always yes” Personally this is my favourite rock album to be released in the in the last few years. Pick it up for simple listening pleasure and lyrics that raise a lot of interesting questions about our society. —Steven R. McEvoy
Tv
givememyremote.com
Dirty Sexy Money ABC
Even Rich People have Problems
When I first heard the title Dirty Sexy Money I pictured a Guy Ritchiesque TV show that explored the underworld where the poor struggle get lucky and the powerful unlucky. Of course, I was sorely mistaken. Dirty Sexy Money is the story of Nick George (yes, he has two first names) and his search for who killed his father. His father was employed by the Darlings, the richest family in New York, although the series makes it look like they’ve got more money than Bill Gates is worth. After his death, Trip Darling (where are they getting these names?) convinces Nick to work for him, managing the family’s affairs, something Nick promised he wouldn’t do after suffering a lonely childhood because of his own father’s employment. Yet Nick bends to Trip’s will and joins the Darlings as their personal lawyer, finding out soon they’re a little more, what’s the word, messed up than he thought. Soon he found himself battling against his loyalties to Trip and his rival Simon Elder and trying to keep his own family and life together. Dirty Sexy Money is good. Really, that’s the only word that comes to mind. It’s not great, it’s good. It’s got a good conspiracy , and the storyline is complex enough that it keeps you guessing, but it doesn’t muddle it so that it turns into another Lost (great show by the way). The characters themselves are well written and are constantly evolving, and the writers definitely don’t let any viewer assume they know who’s good or bad. Of course, the show is also flawed in many ways. There is no clear distinction between good or bad in the show; that line is blurred only between two people, Trip and Simon. Everyone else, on the other hand, is a good little angel with affairs, and secret adoptions, you know, the everyday stuff we all deal with. Nick is almost flawless in his protagonist role in saving his failing marriage. He doesn’t seem to do anything wrong, except violate some personal morals when faced with a few dilemmas, but nothing that would ever tarnish his image as a good person. This left me hungering for a foul up. Do something, Nick, something, anything that would make you seem more than just a poster boy for aspiring lawyers. But, sadly, I haven’t been rewarded. The overly simple good or bad roles make the series somewhat bland and could make anyone lose interest quickly. I’m not kidding, after a few episodes you may not like it. The other problem is that the creators seem to have given the Darlings more money than God. Somehow these people can afford anything; I think they’re one shot away from buying their own state. Again, this takes the story from being something someone can see happening in real life, to “wow, this is just ridiculous.” The point of this is to say that no matter how much money you have, you can’t buy happiness, but I think, “wow, this is just ridiculous.” If the writers toned down the amount of money then maybe it wouldn’t seem so bad. There can only be one Gates family, the Darlings seem more fantastical than real. The acting itself is a little…static sometimes. Peter Krause (Nick George) has been in a number of shows including Six Feet Under, but somehow his experience doesn’t seem to translate here. Sure
he gets angry, sad, happy, but later on, he seems to have one face: Calm, cool, and calculating, and you get damn sick of it after a while. Dirty Sexy Money is something I’d tell people to check out. It’s got a storyline that will keep you interested if you’ve not got a whole lot to do and could use a study break. It starts off slow but picks up quickly and it’ll hold your attention. You can catch Dirty Sexy Money on ABC Wednesdays at 10 p.m.
Be artistic! Express your creativity! write about music, movies, literature, webcomics, and much much more! Come write for Imprint! arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
MARCH!
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The Maze of Bones: The 39 Clues, Book 1 Rick Riordan Scholastic
This is the first book in an amazing new series. In it, the Cahill family’s matriarch passes away. In the will she leaves one million dollars to each family member, and they can trade that money order for a clue that will lead to the treasure that will lead them to become the greatest Cahill of all time. There are four branches in the family: Janus, Ekaterina, Lucian and Thomas. Each branch has their own strengths and weaknesses. Our story follows Amy and Dan Cahill, orphans who choose to take the quest. The adventure crosses continents and clues hidden in art, architecture, music and more. The story begins with Grace Cahill changing her will and dying. Then at her funeral the challenge is set to discover the 39 clues. After that things get interesting, with Grace’s mansion burning down, family members threatening each other, bombs, and that is just the beginning of the adventure. They will travel across continents, through catacombs, museums and much more. Dan and Amy are at a distinct disadvantage, unlike the rest of their relatives, they are not rich, famous, or experienced. Yet, they were also Grace’s favorites and she may have been grooming them just for such a challenge. You have to read to find out. This series will be unique in a number of ways. First, even though there will be 10 books in the series telling a continuous story, it will be told by seven different authors. Second, the website linked for specific puzzles and games to play linked to each book. These games and puzzles are also only available for a certain period of time. Continued page 20
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Arts & Entertainment
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
When the art fades
Reviews Novel cont.
Upcoming event
Third, each book comes with six clue cards,which, unlock different things on the website. There are also supplemental card packs that can be purchased to supplement your clues. Scholastic is also giving away over $100,000 to youth who solve the puzzles. This is a great book and a wonderful beginning of a new series. It is better than the Da Vinci Code, and will be a great read for people of all ages. It has a great adventure, interesting scenes, places, and puzzles. It is an absolute page turner. I cannot wait to see what will happen next.
As The Crow Flies University of Waterloo Fine Arts Graduating Class
—Steven R. McEvoy
Render, March 26 2009
Render will be hosting an exhibition for this year’s graduating class of UW’s Fine Arts program. The title of the exhibition, As The Crow Flies, denotes the space between two directions; a fitting metaphor for a show displaying the work of fourth year students who will be making the transition from their student careers to becoming professional artists. The exhibition will show selected works of 22 students in a variety of media, including drawing, painting, photography, sculpture and video. As The Crow Flies opens at Render in East Campus Hall Thursday, March 26 from 5:00pm-8:00pm, and runs until Friday, April 10. For more details on this and upcoming events please visit Render’s website at www.render.uwaterloo.ca. —Leslie, and Lee Skene
Like or dislike what you see in the review section? Think you have what it takes to write about music, movies, literature, webcomics, and much, much more? Email arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
“ J
ptrinh@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Many animation and comic companies produce a load of wonderful work — artistic and literary achievements, even — but they also produce a load of crap.
im Davis. Now, that’s a name that a lot of people know. For those who may not remember Davis’ name, he’s the creator of the popular Garfield comics, which according to the Guinness Book of World Records is the most syndicated comic strip in the world. While his work has become a monumental success, there are one or two people in the comics industry and community who criticize Davis for his initial intention of the comic — to create a character that would sell well in the market. Even with a parody from Dan Walsh such as Garfield Minus Garfield, colour me somewhat puzzled when I learned that last October, an anthology was released to consumers and credited fully to Davis, with Walsh being credited only as the creator of the original site and the author of the book’s foreword. Now, I for one can understand Davis’ situation here. The entertainment market is a tricky thing to work with, depending on your point of view. While a good number of comic artists prefer to make comics for the quality of art and writing, many successful comic creators realize that you also have to serve a specific audience. Davis learned this with one of his previous creations that never went anywhere: Gnorm Gnat. If you’re making comics as your business, there’s a great (but not definite) chance that you’ll need to make some sacrifices if you’re a high-quality type of person. Of course, this is where the general excuse for such marketing ends and the great debate of quality-over-quantity begins on this scenario. I would argue that this is where the majority of the masses get the idea that comics are simply a form of entertainment and have no academic value to them at all. And just so you guys knowI mean, the majority of the masses — it’s not your fault for thinking so. Many animation and comic companies produce a load of wonderful work — artistic and literary achievements, even — but they also produce a load of crap as well. Disney has created a great amount of original material that has given themselves the popularity
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that they deserve, but the marketing of straightto-home-video productions and sequels have not always been at par. The same could be said for Sullivan Bluth Studios; while Don Bluth stands as one of my favourite animators of the 20 century, he’s also the man known for creating The Land Before Time. While he was not involved in any future Land titles after the first, the franchise has spawned 13 films in total since 1988, with a fourteenth volume to be considered for release later this year. But alas, business is business, and this is the direction that most businesses are supposed to go towards. For me, the fact that animation and comics are such a visual marvel plays as both a gift and a curse to the quality-image that the industries have. Pictures process in most of our minds faster than words, so in every sense of the term, face-value is all that many people absorb from comics and cartoons. To them, every comic is either Watchmen, a book studied enough to actually gain its elite status, or it is Garfield, a product remembered by many only in the entertainment sense and recurring motifs of lasagne and Mondays. From what I’ve gathered, comics theory is not as big as film theory, which itself can be seen light-years away from literary theory. And for me this unfortunate totem pole of theory should not be. I don’t mean that these forms of work should be equally studied, but they should at least hold the same fair grounds to be studied upon, and this goes especially for comics and animation. I want to end off saying that I don’t intensely hate Jim Davis and his creation of Garfield. I understand fully where he’s coming from, and according to an Entertainment Weekly article in June 1998, there’s a reason for his non-topical humour that I can relate to. But I still have a hard time understanding why things such as kicking a dog off a table, a cat eating lasagne, and the cat’s emotion towards Mondays are so funny. In fact, I hate Mondays.
Peter Trinh
Arts & Entertainment
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
21
Returning from the grave
Imcewan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Something I strange in your neighbourhood — who you gonna call?
©2009 Ernst & Young llp Ernst & Young refers to the global organization of member firms of Ernst & Young Global Limited, each of which is a separate legal entity. Ernst & Young LLP is a client-serving member firm located in Canada.
t won’t stay dead. Thank god Back in ‘84 a comedy was made based off Canadian-born actor Dan Akroyd’s interest in the paranormal. Ghostbusters is now a cult phenomenon and respected benchmark in film history, reminding you every Halloween when somebody blares their themed song from a tape deck. A ragtag trio of parapsychologists initiate the ghost-busting business, ridding Manhattan of the stop-motion ghouls that most other movies of the time wanted us to take seriously. Five years later, Ghostbusters II made its debut to reunite the cast for a slightly less entertaining episode. The whole premise seems simple enough, but it’s remarkably original in the execution. Bill Murray’s improv and the writing of Akroyd and Harold Ramis make for good laughs. Rumour has it the franchise is revving up for a third one. What happens when you make a 20-years-later performance-capture 3-D sequel to the best original soup of paranormal comedy? Well, try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. That’s at least what you’d expect if you think old is always better when it comes to motion pictures. Usually I’m jumping
on the bandwagon and defending old works of art from the proboscis of today’s incarnations. However, it’s easy to forget that nostalgia is a double-edged sword. The respect you have for old movies doesn’t have to be threatened by someone revisiting their universe. Some are slight improvements, like 2005’s Batman Begins, while others are just another (not bad) brick in the wall like last month’s Friday the 13th. Movies grow on us and after a couple of decades, Ghostbusters is encased in gold. Any film that attempts to live up to it and it’s one so-so sequel may seem like a threat to the memory of the original. The original was, after all, a slice of ’80s science fiction special effects and humour. Luckily, Murray, Akroyd, and Ramis are all reputedly on board for the future Ghostbusters III, but like many film resurrections, the aim may be to introduce a new generation of characters. This, to some, is understandably like sticking a poster of the Mona Lisa over the original. Yeah it’s the Ghostbusters, but not really. People forget that if the characters aren’t all dead, a sequel is a real possibility. Movies change with the times and if a new Ghostbusters is made, with the same writers and most of the original cast involved, it’s just that:
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another Ghostbusters. It may not feel ’80s and it probably won’t feel fresh, but it’s just the next chapter. This is one revamping I’m actually looking forward to. The only real divergence from the original two is the performance-capture imagery. Ramis and Akroyd are still writing (so we likely won’t have experience the reckless ego-trip that directors can bring to a franchise if it changes hands.) I wasn’t around for the original two but having watched them years
ago, I don’t think a sequel is such a bad idea, given that the tone stays the same and the writing is cleverly relaxed in its own sense of humour. If they get new faces to play Venkman, Ray, Egon, and Winston, then that’s just how it happens. It’s not a remake, something that literally tries to be the original release. Instead, the fact that it stays in under Harold Ramis’ creative pen could bring the continuity of a new chapter in a new decade with the same wit and charm that the original had.
Campus Bulletin UPCOMING Friday, March 20, 2009 Knowledge Integration Seminar series – “Connecting Dots and Clouds” – with Eric Higgs from 2:30 to 4 p.m., ALH, room 113. All welcome. The Fine Arts Film Society presents “Viva Erotica” 7 p.m., ECH 1220. Free. Must be 18+years of age. Saturday, March 21, 2009 Homer Watson House and Gallery is pleased to present a bus trip to Canada Blooms in Toronto from 8:45 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more info visist www.homerwatson.on.ca or call 519-748-4377. Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Career Services presents “Success with an Arts Graduate Degree” – a panel of alumni will talk about their career paths after finishing graduate studies at UW. 4:40 to 6 p.m., TC 2218. Thursday, March 26, 2009 ASAW presents “Afghan Charity Talent Show - Talent for a cause....” at 7 p.m., Eastwood C.I. Sponsored by WPIRG. Friday, March 27, 2009 The annual commemoration of the UN international Day for the elimination of racial discrimination at Kitchener City Hall at 8:30 a.m. Sugar ‘n’ Spice Cocktail Party – Canadian Clay and Glass Gallery at 8 p.m. Tickets available at Grad House and www.gsa.uwaterloo.ca. Desserts, prizes, like a 42” TV! March Swing Dance – at 315 Weber Street, N., with lessons beginning at 8 p.m., dancing from 9:15 onward. For info www.waterlooswing.com. UW 9/11 Research Group presents “9/11, Did Explosives Demolish the Towers?” 7 to 9 p.m., ALH room 116. Free public lecture. Wednesday, April 1, 2009 2009 Autonomous Racing Challenge – build autonomous robots – race for first prize of $500 to $1,000. Early registration deadline April 1, 2009. For details www.RobotRacing.org. Saturday, April 18, 2009 “Music in the Gallery” – New Vibes Jazz Quartet – at 7:30 p.m. Homer Watson & Gallery, Kitchener. For info/
tickets call 519-748-4377, ext. 224. Friday, April 24, 2009 CFUW Book Sale today and April 25 at First United Church, King and William. For more info please call 519-7405249. Saturday, April 25, 2009 “Arts, Business, Creativity: The ABC’s of Success” – one day interactive workshop providing business training and information. Register/visit www.artsbusinesscreativity.com or 519-741-2984 by April 21, 2009.
ANNOUNCEMENTS Crown Ward Status: attention students who are/were Crown Wards needed to work with large, Provincially funded transdiscliplinary team (including UW students) dedicated to helping current Crown Ward youth. Please contact Kelly Anthony at 519-888-4567, ext 32802. Paid position. Excellent exchange opportunity for UW undergraduate students to participate in the Ontario/Jiangsu Student Exchange Program in China for the 2009-2010 academic years. The OJS Program provides scholarships to successful applicants. For additional information and application form/deadlines contact Andreea Ciucurita, Waterloo International, Needles Hall, 1101, room 1103, ext 35995 or by email: aciucurita@uwaterloo.ca. General casting call – independent filmmakers looking for acting talent, full cast, extras and potential crew members. Contact Black Cloak Entertainment at casting@blackcloak.ca. Tune in to Sound 100.3 FM radio to hear DJ Cool with lots of music, entertainment, helpful info, weather and more. www.soundfm.ca >listen or www. ckmsfm.ca. Nominations are requested for the following student seats on Senate: Undergraduate Student Representative – one undergraduate student of the University to be elected by/from the full-time undergraduate students of the Faculty of Arts, term May 1, 2009 to April 30,
2010. Graduate Student Representatives – two graduate students of the University to be elected by/from the full and part-time graduate students of the University, terms May 1, 2009 to April 30, 2011. Nomination forms are available from the Secretariat (ext 36125) and from the Secretariat webpage; see www.secretariat.uwaterloo. ca/elections/nomelectionsb.htm. At least five nominators are required in each case. Nominations should be sent to the Secretariat, Needles Hall, room 3060, no later than 3 p.m., Wednesday, March 25, 2009. Elections will follow if necessary. Senators whose terms expire April 30, 2009 – undergraduate student Allan Babor*(Independent Studies) ; graduate students – Douglas Stebila*(Combinatorics and Optimization), Kathleen Wilkie (Applied Mathematics). *not eligible for re-election. CIGI has an exciting line-up of public events for March. Check out website for full lecture listings. All events are free, but RSVP early as seating is limited. www.cigionline.org.
VOLUNTEERING Career Services volunteers needed for 2009-2010 to fill two types of volunteer positions: student career assistant and student marketing assistant. Depending on the position, you will gain valuable job search, marketing, and career-related skills by either promoting events and services or by helping other students in their career planning and job search. Open to regular and co-op students who are creative and possess strong interpersonal and communication skills. Applications available in Career Services, TC 1214, or from our webpage at careerservices.uwaterloo.ca. Deadline is March 9, 2009. City of Waterloo needs volunteers for summer 2009 events: Uptown Country Festival on Saturday, June 20, Royal Medieval Faire on September 19, Busker Festival needs new talent for interesting Board positions such as Director of Corporate Sponsorship ; Director of Marketing and Media Co-ordinator. 55+ Urban Poling Club needs indoor walk leaders on Friday mornings. Email
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009 ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca volunteer@waterloo.ca or 519-8886488 for more info. Volunteers needed – the English tutor program is in constant need of volunteers to tutor international students. Volunteering is an essential part of student life at UW. Apply online at www. iso.uwaterloo.ca. Volunteer with a child at their school and help improve their self-esteem and confidence. One to three hours a week commitment. Canadian Mental Health at 519-744-7645, ext 229. Best Buddies is a national charitable organization matching students with individuals with intellectual disabilities living in the community. Hours are very flexible – compatible with busy schedules. More information contact: bestbuddiesuw@gmail.com. Resume builder! Volunteers needed to visit people with Alzheimer disease through Alzheimer Society Volunteer Companion Program. Call Jill at 519742-1422 or volunteer@alzheimerkw. com. Drive. Deliver. Befriend – Community Support Connections needs volunteers to help drive seniors to appointments, deliver a lunch meal or befriend an isolated senior. Mileage is reimbursed. Contact 519-772-8787 or info@communitysupportconnections.org.
CAREER SERVICES WORKSHOPS
Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Working Search Strategies – increase your chances of success – 2:30 to 4 p.m, TC 1208. Wednesday, March 25, 2009 Career Interest Assessment – your interests relate to specific career opportunities – 10:30 a.m. to 12 p.m., TC 1113. Are You Thinking about an MBA? – an overview of requirements – 5:30 to 7 p.m., TC 2218. All about GMAT – presented by Geoff Vokes from Kaplan Centre, T.O. – 5 to
PERSONALS
WANTED Used books wanted for CFUW Book Sale, Friday, April 24 and Saturday, April 25, 2009 at First United Church, King and William. Drop off donations at church (back door) Wednesday, April 22 and Thursday, April 23. No textbooks please. For more information please call 519-740-5249. Opportunity to enrich your life and of a special child. Please volunteer for our in-home program to help our autistic 8-year-old son. Call Georgiana at 519741-8003.
HOUSING
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746-6893
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Office is second floor Needles Hall, 519888-4567, ext 36605, safa.uwaterloo.ca. March 25/09 – last day to submit Confirmation of Enrolment for winter only term and fall and winter term to ensure full OSAP funding. March 30/09 – recommended submission date for OSAP Rollover Form to add spring term to winter only term or fall and winter term. Recommended submission date for OSAP Reinstatement Form to add spring term to fall only term.
LIVE & LEARN LECTURES-WPL Lectures from 7 to 9 p.m. at Waterloo Public Library, 35 Albert Street, Waterloo. For info 519-886-1310, ext 124. Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Is it normal for my teenager to be gambling? Monday, March 30, 2009 Launching Your Career in Stormy Weather, from 4:30 to 6 p.m., Theatre of the Arts, ML. RSVP artslastlecture09. eventbrite.com.
Classified Egg donor needed – married couple seeking kind individual ages 20-32 years of age. Attributes: caucasian, healthy. Compensation for expenses incurred. Reply to: vaa5866@gmail.com.
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5:30 p.m, TC 2218. Thursday, March 26, 2009 Career Exploration and Decision Making – increase your understanding – 2 to 4 p.m., TC 1112. Getting a U.S. Work Permit – with speaker Nina Juncewicz, U.S. immigraiton attorney – 4:30 to 6 p.m., TC 1208. Teaching English Abroad – learn more about TESOL certification – 2:30 to 3:30 p.m., TC 1208. Law School Bound – learn best practices to prepare an effective law school application – 12:30 to 1:30 p.m., TC 1208. Preparing for the LSAT – begin on the right foot – 1:30 to 2:30 p.m., TC 1208.
Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Joanne at 519-746-1411 for more details. Graduate housing: on-campus suites and apartments available now and May 1 at St. Paul’s College. Apply online: www.stpauls.uwaterloo.ca. For more information call 519-885-1460, ext 212. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 519-725-5348.
SERVICES
Does your thesis or major paper need a fresh pair of eyes to catch English spelling and grammar errors? Thesis English editing, $50/hour. Five business day turnaround. Neal Moogk-Soulis, ncmoogks@uwaterloo.ca. Papers without panic! Efficient, professional editor with academic experience and student rates. Call 905-864-1858, ext 2 ; 1-877-872-4619 or email amy@ enabletc.com
HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, KW Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Just For You Fine Lingerie is looking for a part-time mature, experienced sales associate. Must have a passion for lingerie, excellent sales to customer service skills and willing to become a bra-fitting specialist. Please submit resume in person at 75 King Street, S., inside Waterloo Town Square, Waterloo. Support person needed for 15-yearold boy with autism. Support required for summer day camp programs, outings in the community and within the home. Must be creative with activity planning, altruistic in your desire to work with a special needs person and must have own vehicle. Flexible weekend and evening hours also available. Laurelwood subdivision. $13/hour plus .40/km. Call Deborah 519-746-1584.
Science & Technology
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009 science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
or staff reporter
H
ow do you tell a human from a computer? As early as 1950, mathematician Alan Turing suggested a test in which a human judge has a pair of typed conversations with another unseen human and a computer program, both of which try to convince the judge that they are human. The notion is that if a computer program can successfully masquerade as a human intellectually, then it should be considered as “thinking” like a human. But can this test be performed in reverse? Can a computer distinguish a human from a program? Solving this problem is the purpose of CAPTCHAs, short for Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart. One type of CAPTCHA that is very common is the distorted numbers and letters that are frequently seen on websites for free email accounts or ticket sales. These are used to prevent abuse by “bot” programs that open thousands of bogus accounts for spammers or allow scalpers to purchase hundreds of tickets and then resell them at an inflated price. In this kind of CAPTCHA, the numbers and letters in the challenge image are pushed together, or stray lines are added to join them, so that a computer will have difficulty segmenting the image. That is, it cannot tell where one letter begins and another ends. This makes classifying the distorted symbols much more difficult. Humans are better at this task and can usually enter the correct interpretation of the challenge image with ease. Luis von Ahn and his colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University have developed an ingenious system that puts this human ability to decipher images to use. Programs that attempt to convert images (such as the CAPTCHA challenge images on websites) into text are called Optical Character Recognition programs, or OCRs. These same programs are currently being used to convert archives of old printed material into digital copies that are more accessible and much more readily searchable. However, some text is so old and faded that, when scanned, OCR programs are unable to correctly distinguish a word. In these cases, a human operator can often easily make out the word, but since in some cases as many as 25 per cent of the words cause problems for the OCRs, this is very expensive in terms of man-hours.
That is where CAPTCHAs can help. If a scanned word is too difficult for state of the art OCRs to recognize, it is just the sort of image needed to distinguish humans from bots. Meanwhile, a person digitizes the scanned word, without any cost. The protocol is called reCAPTCHA and works in this way. Two OCRs try to digitize a document. If the OCRs disagree on a word, or the word is not in a dictionary of valid English words, the word is considered suspect and the scanned image of it is passed to the CAPTCHA program. It is presented as a challenge to a website user along with another “test word” for which the solution has already been learned. If the user correctly enters the test word, then the user is accepted as human. The same unknown word is then passed to another user as part of the challenge. If all the users identify a new word in the same way the first three times that word is presented, and both of the OCRs failed to identify it correctly, then it becomes a “test word” for future challenges, with the solution provided by the users. If at least two users and an OCR or three users give the same answer, then it is accepted as the correct interpretation of the printed text. Even though this method requires that two words, the unknown word and the test word, be entered instead of a single string of random numbers and letters, von Ahn’s data shows that, on average, it does not take a person any longer to solve reCAPTCHA than the standard CAPTCHAs, perhaps because people have a lot of practice recognizing words. Also, the team demonstrated that the accuracy rate of material digitized in this way is over 99 per cent, which is the same level of accuracy claimed by professional transcription companies that employ two typists to independently convert the same text, with any discrepancies inspected by hand. This is a major boon for projects seeking to preserve human records: four million words per day are recognized in this way, which is 160 books worth of transcription, all while allowing websites to prevent malicious use of their services. lsheridan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
“
If a computer program can successfully masquerade as a human intellectually, then it should be considered as “thinking” like a human.
“
Lana Sheridan
— But can a program conduct this test?
graphic by paul collier, peter trinh and rajul saleh
Science & Technology
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Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
The light spectrum has never been this awesome Maggie Clark editor-in-chief Pixel progress: compressive sensing changes everything
A primer about compressive sensing recently released by Olga Holtz, of the University of California, makes it easy to grasp an approach to signal-sampling that drastically reforms conventional limits imposed by standard information theory. MIT’s Technology Review reported that while whole fields of electronics engineering and information theory are founded on the principle that a perfect reconstruction of signals is only possible “when the sampling frequency is greater than twice the maximum frequency of the signal under study,” cameras like the one developed by Richard Baraniuk and Kevin Kelly
(Rice University), which compresses the equivalent of a five million pixel image to around 50,000 pixels, are exploding the necessity of such hard limits. Essentially, the Baraniuk/Kelly camera can record 200,000 pixels through the repeated use of a single pixel — in lay terms, allowing for a 2D image to be recorded in a single pixel. This is made possibly by reflecting an image off a randomized array of micromirrors before focusing it onto that single pixel, and then repeating the process 200,000 times. Will this matter to all you shutterbugs? Not for casual photography — but if you use photo technology to take precise measurements, the 25fold savings in the amount of input data your camera needs to collect is expected to be highly relevant, and exciting.
iPods, iPhones the npext universal remote?
Wouldn’t it be neat if, instead of buying a fancy new gadget every time we want to improve our interaction with the world around us, we could just modify our existing technology to service its surroundings better? If you said yes, you might be pleased to discover just how much smartphones and many iPods are able to control your home entertainment systems — speakers, DVD, TV, digital video recorders — or even your PCs, thanks in large part to the wonders of wi-fi. Free applications like Remote, Sonos Controller, and Intelliphone are making the universal remote obsolete by offering object interaction through the versatile touch-screen on iPods and smartphones, instead of on a device with an excess of buttons.
The New York Times reported on applications that would also grant you the power to use your smartphones to direct PowerPoint presentations — a low-cost alternative to a hardware solution called the Impatica Showmate, which connects to “any VGAcompatible projector and receives PowerPoint slides over Bluetooth.” Television controls are still a little bit harder, requiring a device to mimic infrared as the greater majority are not otherwise linked to your house’s wi-fi — and as such, there’s a cost associated with those applications, too. But we’re getting close to never needing to touch more than one piece of hardware in order to interact with all our techie toys. Is that a good thing? Lasers reach battlefield-strength threshold
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We’re not quite at Star Wars-quality blasters, but Pentagon researchers at Northrop Grumman have passed the “100kW threshold [traditionally viewed] as a proof of principle for ‘weapons grade’ power levels for highenergy lasers,” according to VP of directed energy systems Dan Wildt. Wired.com reports that the laser could allow American troops to “zap the mortars and rockets” used by insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan, and notes that this breakthrough is part of a larger push to make laser weapons the stuff of life. Other projects in the work include a laser-equipped truck, care of Boeing, and a 150 kilowatt laser to be fitted into “tactical aircraft.” These advances come at steep financial costs, though, and the battlefield-quality electric (as opposed to chemical) laser is estimated to require at least another $100 million to perfect, according to the National Academies. Time enough to start working on laser-proof armour? Yes, light can be used for mind control
According to Scientific American, Stanford University researchers have created a set of light-sensitive proteins with tremendous potential benefits for biochemical research—and mind control. When mice were engineered to carry these proteins in the reward centres of their brains, which are especially noted for responding to drugs of abuse, scientists gained the capacity to induce drug-like states in their subjects by delivering pulses of light directly to the brain. The conditioned mice behave “like drugaddicted animals.” Behind the sinister potential implications of advances like this lie some pretty cool commingling of science and technology: the hybrid proteins were created by “fusing a gene for a light-sensing pigment normally found in the eye” to a set of receptor proteins, and sit with the light-sensing portion jutting out of neuron cell membranes, changing shape when photons of a certain wavelength are absorbed. So, truly, a feat of bio-engineering. But for the step closer it puts us to more direct mind control in humans? Also just a little disconcerting. —With files from Wired.com, the New York Times, Scientific American, and the Technology Review
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Science & Technology
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
25
Sex: just have some How to reap health benefits from sex risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.” This empirical study stretched over 20 years, taking place in Caerphilly,
“
the elderly population no longer has their age to serve as an excuse for not getting it on. Although having too much sex has its negatives, a decade long Queens
period boasted a “death rate half of that of the laggards.” The results are pretty clear: rock beats scissors and sex beats abstinence. So, what are you waiting for?
According to scientific research, a person can potentially reduce stress, boost their immunity, and tone down risks of cardiovascular disease simply by committing to a weekly dose of sex.
South Wales, and reaped results stating that sex is not associated with stroke rates, as was evident from the 914 study participants. As such,
University study in Belfast, studying 1,000 middle-aged men, shows that those who had the highest frequency of sexual activity over the ten-year
“
W
hile researching this week’s column, I came to a pleasant conclusion: while abstinence may be good for the mind, sex is most certainly good for the body. According to scientific research, a person can potentially reduce stress, boost their immunity, and bring down risks of cardiovascular disease simply by committing to a weekly dose of sex. What, you haven’t gone to “improve your health” yet? Good, keep reading. According to Statistics Canada, there are 3.5 million people suffering from severe stress. As students, stress is always on the map, with a constant juggle of school, work, and social life. The recipe for managing stress is generally static: balanced diet (check), vitamin supplements (check), reasonable amount of sleep (check), stress factor reduction (working on it), and a healthy sex life (come again?). Much to the joy of the public, a Scottish psychologist conducted a two-week study that found individuals who had intercourse were the least stressed compared to people having other kinds of sex and those abstaining. Dr. Laura Berman, a sex therapist from Florida, backed up the research, saying that the stress-management effects of sex can be long-term, as long as days, even. However, the study also noted that while men tend to become more sexually active when stressed, the sex drive of women swivels down. I can only assume this difference is just another biological gimmick of gender differences, nature’s attempt to get males and females to communicate, no doubt… In other news, I have been fighting a cold since last September. It seems it’s time for me to put away the cough drops and get busy bringing sexy back, because intercourse can help boost my immune system. A team of psychologists in Pennsylvania have conducted research suggesting that having moderate amounts of sex (one to two doses weekly) boosts the immune system. Colleagues Frank Brennan and Carl Charnetski of Wilkes University, in Wilkes-Barre, surveyed 111 Wilkes undergraduates, aged 16 to 23, inquiring about how frequently they had sex in the course of the previous month, and measuring levels of Immunoglobulin A (IgA) in the saliva as a way of monitoring immune system vigour. According to Charnetski and Brennan, IgA is what binds to pathogens at all the points of entry to the body, and then alerts the immune system to defend the body. The results of the study showed that participants who had sex once or twice a week had a 30 per cent increase in IgA, but people who had sex three times a week or more had IgA levels that were lower than the group that abstained from sex. It seems that sex is to the immune system what salt is to cardiovascular health: both must be taken in healthy doses. Speaking of cardiovascular health. Imagine Heart & Stroke Foundation’s slogans reading, “Take care of your heart. Give your genitals a little love.” It would certainly attract public interest in cardiovascular health, don’t you think? There’s no lip service in this slogan, either — in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, a team of United Kingdom researchers found that “having sex twice or more a week reduced the
alomako@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
The next time your partner walks in on you during a private moment, just say you’re doing it because you care about the relationship, and that
he/she should really see it as an investment in your health; chances are, your partner will be too stunned to retaliate. Then, distract them by proposing you both take proactive steps to invest in your health together, and direct your partner to a nearby location. Disclaimer: distraction method patent-pending.
If you have any questions about the behaviour or location of your junk, please e-mail your questions to me at the address listed above or meet with me in the Imprint office Mondays, 11:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. and loiter with me.
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Science & Technology
26
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
Cast your vote with the flick of a switch Earth Hour 2009 takes their game up a notch
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pumped into the atmosphere every year, only a pin-sized hole is taken out of that with one hour. But should this be reason enough to criticize and condemn Earth Hour? Not at all. Earth Hour was started in Sydney as a symbol. It was a signal to the rest of the world that we are making a negative impact on this planet, and that we need to stop it. Even so, protest and symbolism — especially when done for the environment — have
Just remember not to let this simply be a single act of fun symbolism that you forget once the clock hits 9:30.
lighting candles to set the mood for customers, or a group of friends sitting around in the dark or candlelight jamming on guitars. Not only is it a symbol for environmental change, but a great social event that brings to light just how much we depend on electricity. However, Earth Hour often receives criticism for not being of much help. A single hour of no electricity use — even on such a large scale — barely scratches the surface in terms of reducing our footprint. Out of the billions of tons of carbon dioxide
“
O
n Saturday, March 28, Earth Hour comes around again. Most of you probably already know what it is, or have participated in it since it started in Sydney in 2007, but for those of you who don’t, it’s simply an hour (from 8:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.) where everyone turns off their lights, computers, and anything else that uses electricity. Many people and places turn it into a community event, whether it’s a pub
become a little cliché in the media and political world, and are usually shrugged off as soon as they’re over. The main reason for this new, passive attitude towards protest is that as soon as most of these large events are over, everyone goes back to their normal, wasteful lives. After so many environmental or humanitarian events have happened around the world, it’s become a little redundant. Symbolic events and protests like Earth Hour have raised awareness around the world about the problem, so let’s stop mailing letters and putting up
posters and start with direct action. This is exactly what Earth Hour plans to do this year. This time, Earth Hour is aiming for one billion people to turn off their lights. If they reach this goal, not only will it be a monumental symbol of the world’s support, but it will also count as a vote: to change things and follow the more direct action approach. Earth Hour is taking every light switched off as a vote to stop global climate change. And not just as a symbolic vote either. The results of this “election” will be presented to the Global Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen. These votes will tell leaders that we want action. To inspire UW students, the University of Waterloo Sustainability Project (UWSP) is working with Warrior Weekends on the weekend of March 28 to create Earth Hourthemed events to get people involved. These include a theatre performance by The Otesha Project, a scavenger hunt, a jam session, live music, games, contests with prizes, and more. In the SLC from March 24 to 26, UWSP will have a booth where you can sign a pledge to turn off your lights and be entered into a draw for great prizes. You can get another ballot in the draw
simply by saying “Attending” to the event on Facebook (Earth Hour 2009 — University of Waterloo). The prizes include Toronto Raptors equipment from Raptorman.ca, energy-saving
Wael Elsweisi
John McGrath of the University of Queensland in Australia. The study is published in PLoS Medicine.
graphic by armel chesnais
kits from UWSP, gift certificates, books, gift packages from Starbucks and Earthwinds, and many more.
theferty@imprint.uwa-
The full list and more details about the events are on the Facebook event page, or at www.uwsp.feds.ca. So remember to turn off your lights and join friends for a candlelight jam session, or UWSP for some fun events. Just remember not to let this simply be a single act of fun symbolism that you forget once the clock hits 9:30. Take it as a resolution to stop using so much electricity, use more environmentally-friendly products, spend more time outdoors instead of in front of a screen, and use refillable Nalgenes or Klean Kanteens instead of throwaway plastic water bottles. Don’t stop there, either. Don’t let the little things make you think you’re solving the big problem. Work with friends and groups to push municipalities and governments to move towards more renewable energy sources. When you graduate and start your career and move into your first real house, start looking at other sources of energy like geothermal, solar, or (if you live in a more rural area) a windmill. Next Saturday, let your light switch cast the vote to the world that you want a green future. As Ghandi once said: “First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win.”
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staff reporter
Fathering children at an old age can be a costly affair
It is well understood that men, unlike women, can continue procreating into old age. This has sparked many ethical debates over the past decades. A recent study, however, suggests that older men may pay the price for their ability, by fathering children of lower intelligence. The study analyzed data from 33,000 American children at the ages of eight months, four years, and seven years. Children born to older fathers scored poorer on various intelligence tests that assessed their ability to concentrate, retain information, reason, and read. In contrast, children born to older mothers fared better than those born to younger mothers. The prime suspected causes of this are the age-related genetic errors that accumulate over time in sperm cells. This might also explain previous research that linked children born to older men with higher incidences of schizophrenia, autism and bipolar disorder. “I don’t think we have enough evidence to say that fathers should avoid parenthood after a certain age… but I think we do need to educate people that there are risks they didn’t know about,” said study leader
Exploring an alternative infertility treatment
Infertility is a condition that affects millions of couples worldwide. Current treatments aimed at women who are infertile due to low sex hormone levels involve directly stimulating their ovaries, which can lead to multiple pregnancies and many undesirable side effects. A recent study conducted by a team of scientists at Imperial College London suggests that a newly discovered hormone, called kisspeptin, could “reawaken” a woman’s reproductive functions by stimulating the production of key hormones that regulate the menstrual cycle. The hormone has previously been implicated in mediating puberty and further sexual development. The study was based on blood samples taken from ten infertile women who were not menstruating. They were injected with either kisspeptin or a saline solution as a placebo. Compared to the placebo treatment, kisspeptin led to a 48fold increase in luteinising hormone production and a 16-fold increase in follicle stimulating hormone levels. Both play key roles in ovulation and fertility.
“This is a very exciting result and suggests that kisspeptin treatment could restore reproductive function in women with low sex hormone levels,” said lead researcher Waljit Dhillo of Imperial College London. Gonorrhoea joins antibiotic resistance
Gonorrhoea is a sexually transmitted disease that can leave both men and women infertile. It is typically treated with a course of antibiotics belonging to the quinolone family of drugs, but is now becoming dangerously quinolone-resistant. This resistance has been observed for some time now in the U.S., U.K., and Australia, but Canada has recently joined the pack. According to the Canadian Medical Association, quinolone resistance in Ontario has jumped from 4 per cent in 2002 to 28 per cent in 2006. Authorities are now recommending the use of the only alternative available in our fight against gonorrhoea: cephalosporins. The big fear is that more strains resistant to cephalosporins will also appear, like in Japan in 2008. — With files from BBC News and NewScientist welsweisi@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Sports & Living
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009 sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Kicking it up sports editor
I
f you just so happen to find yourself walking into the CIF parking lot entrance on a Sunday, Monday or Wednesday evening, you’ve probably caught sight of a group of dedicated students, decked in plain white gi’s and shouting at the top of their lungs as they kick, block, and punch their way through the air. The Waterloo Recreation Karate Club was started in 2005 by two black belt students, both of whom have graduated and passed the torch down to the two new Sempai’s of the club, Nancy Sooniens, a grad student in applied math, and Jacquiline Mok, a second year in computer sciences. While Mok started the group in their warm up exercises, Sooniens gave Imprint a quick interview regarding the club’s activities. “We hold classes
“
Above: Sempai Jacqueline Mok leads the Wednesday evening class in some low punches while her fellow black belt, Nancy Soontiens, stands at the back with the students. Bottom Left: The various levels of belts practise blocking during a warm up. Bottom Right: The class performs round house kicks with ‘kiai’ (spirit sounds).
Tournament along side University of Toronto (UofT) and Laurentian. This first time event for the Warriors sent eight competitors from the club all the way to Sudbury to demonstrate their kata, a ritualized presentation of formal techniques, and to participate in kumite, a sparring match between two competitors. “We spent the two weeks before the competition working on individual kata and hosting sparring classes,” said Sooniens. “Tournaments really motivate students to come out and try their best.” Waterloo tied with UofT in points for second place, Laurentian taking first. The individual results of the competition, however, speak volumes for the accomplishments of the Warriors during their involvement. In the women’s black belt kata, Waterloo snagged two of the podium positions, Soontiens
Tournaments really motivate students to come out and try their best.
every week, three times a week and we allow for both beginners and advanced members in our classes,” Sooniens explained. Sooniens started off her own karate career when she was 12 years old, working her way up through to brown belt, one level below black, before her first year at the university. Once she joined the UW club, an Okinawan Goju-Ryu style of karate which differed from her own, she dropped back down to the very beginner white belt level. “With my previous experience it wasn’t hard for me to progress quickly through the ranks. I’ve been with the club for three years, and I’ve got my black,” she explained. The club offers a chance for students who may not have had any previous martial arts experience to get involved in a positive, character-building environment with plenty of room for improvement. At only $45 for a full term, it also acts as an affordable and engaging exercise alternative. Though the group does adhere to common karate practices, respect for your sempai, determination, and a positive attitude in class, it is also forgiving of a university student’s busy schedule. “The instructors here are students as well,” Sooniens said. “We know how hectic life can get, so the club is also very flexible if you need to miss a night.” Although safety, fun, and learning are set priorities of the club, they also participate in competitions outside of the school. Recently the team participated in the Interuniversity Karate
— Nancy Sooniers
“
Caitlin McIntyre
taking first and Mok third for their performances. The men’s novice kata was also dominated by the Warriors, as all three places were inhabited by Waterloo. Justin Lee’s performance earned him first place, followed by Yen Huynh, a computer science major, in second, and Jack Zhang tying for third. David Abrahamse also performed excellently, ending up as a finalist in the competition. The men’s intermediate kata had two Waterloo finalists who performed excellently through out the competition, Sean Kelly and Chris Li. In the men’s novice kumite, second place was snagged by Abrahamse, followed by Huynh (for his second podium placing) in third. Zhang and Lee also fought hard through this event, both pushing forward to become finalists in the competition. Lastly, the men’s intermediate kumite saw Li as a Finalist in his second event of the tournament. “I’m really happy with how everyone did,” Soontiens stated. “Jack Zhang is only in his first term, he’s a white belt, and he came home from the tournament with third place under his belt. The determination and improvement really shows.” The karate club is open to all levels of university students, and further information can be found on the Campus Rec site at http://www. campusrec.uwaterloo.ca/clubs/index.html, or the club itself can be contacted with questions and concerns at sckarate@uwaterloo.ca. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
photos by Caitlin McIntyre
28
Sports & Living
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
National Recognition Brent Golem asst s&l editor
N
courtesy Jason Dockendorff
Spreitzer stands with her CIS Student-Athlete Community Award after having previously received its OUA equivalent.
ancy Spreitzer, a University of Waterloo Track and Field member, recently won the Ontario University Athletics (OUA) Female Student-Athlete Community Award for her contribution to her community while balancing school and athletics. Not only were her contributions recognized provincially, but Spreitzer was also recognised nationally. On Thursday March 12, she was presented the the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) Female StudentAthlete Community Award. This incredible achievement means that Spreitzer is the most balanced female athlete, showing dedication both to her sport — and to what she gives back to her community — in all of Canada. Nancy Spreitzer is heavily involved in the community, having worked with Reaching Our Outdoor Friends (ROOF) this past fall, as well as volunteering at Huron Heights Secondary School during the winter. Next year, Nancy Spreitzer plans on continuing her volunteering at Huron Heights Secondary School, as well as engaging in other community service activities. She will prepare for the next track season by competing in summer outdoor track and field meets. Next year she hopes she will be competing not just for CIS awards, but also for the CIS championship in her event for triple jump or with the 4 x 200m relay team. bgolem@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
UW track races their way to
another victory
courtesy Kate Bickle
Julia Gelfand intern
W
arrior pride took on a whole new meaning this past week. National championships were held in Windsor from Wednesday to Sunday, with events starting on Friday for the Warriors. By the end of the meet eight members of the track team came away with new successes surpassing what we all hoped. Some of the biggest news of the tournament would have to be focused on Jason Goetz once again. Goetz broke his previous Warriors Varsity record with a jump of 14.80m and was awarded with a silver medal in triple jump. Goetz also placed 7th in long jump and 7th in the men’s 4 x 400m relay. Goetz proves to be a fine young athlete to say the least; it goes to show that hard work pays off. He has been training with his events coach Janusz Tomko from the Laurel Creek Track and Field Club since he was 17. Goetz pushed hard to be where he is today; he told Imprint in an interview, “My coach and I have been at many national junior and national senior competitions but have never came close to medaling. So, it was overwhelmingly rewarding to win a silver medal.” It’s not quite over for Goetz as he plans on continuing his training for the Canadian Outdoor Track and Field Championships in Toronto this August. At the same time,
he will be coaching young athletes in the basics of triple jump with the Laurel Creek Track and Field Club. “I’m also focused on preparing for next varsity season to attempt a shot at winning the CIS event next year,” said Goetz. Another athlete who’s worked just as hard to achieve something much more than a medal would be Nancy Spreitzer; she won the CIS Student-Athlete Community Service award on March 12, which is an award granted to the student who best shows a balance between athletics, academics, and community service. Other qualifying students at nationals brought home big accomplishments as well, with Julia Malleck, a fourth year Arts and Business student, placing 9th in the 1500m meter, 8th in the 4 x 400m, and 7th in the 4 x 800m, collecting 1–1–2 points successively. The men’s 4 x 200m relay team consisting of Luke Govia, Chris Lam, Eric Noland, and Abdul Rahman Ghannoum placed 12th, which is a great achievement considering member Jacob Muirhead suffered an injury. Aso in the competition was Ryan Wight for high jump. He was a strong competitor but placed 10th overall. The team has said to have seen big improvements on their standings placing 14th out of 21 teams, which is outstandingly better than 17th, and 19th in previous years. jgelfand@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Look forward to coverage in Sports next week for: Campus Rec All-Star Hockey team And don’t forget to send any comments, events or concerns to:
sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Comics & Distractions
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
Crossword
1
Paul Collier 25. Watchfulness
17
1. High-end
41. Tableware for evening meal (two words)
26. Cured in brine
20
46. Frozen fruit juice dessert
16. Rehearsed
47. XC
17. Urine ingredient 18. Burns brightly 19. Went quickly by foot 20. Contends 22. Jekyll’s alter ego 23. More nonsensical 24. Ultramarine rock 25. Invalidator 26. Conquistador, caused fall of Aztecs 27. Departing season 29. People behind the times 30. Blasted 31. Awry 32. Film festival in May 33. Still 38. Collection of things about someone or somewhere (suffix) 39. Received and entertained
2 6
3
2. Spanish form of Peter 3. Spiritual mentors
37. Destitute
4. Doctrine opposing Darwin
39. Plant used as seasoning
5. Donkey
42. Inverse of “or”
6. Casual buttoned jacket
43. Unit of pressure (acronym)
34
45
46
47
March 13 Crossword Solution 1
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39
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Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love -Albert Einstein
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8
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March 13 Cryptogram Solution
U
6
A
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48
7 3 6 2 8 4 9 5 1
24
5
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16. Surface flattening tool
5 4 2 9 3 1 6 7 8
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36
6 2 1 3 7 9 8 4 5
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14. One who talks idly
March 13 Sudoku Solution
3
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32
22. Full moon nearest autumnal equinox (two words)
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21. Brings together
2
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12. Melancholy
4 6
43
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28
4 8 2 3
40
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11. Makes fixed in place
3 5 4 8 1 6 2 9 7
35
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2 6 3 7 4 8 5 1 9
36
22
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12
28
14
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26
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8. Performs on stage
2
10
24
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24. Lender
7 9 2
21
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7. Competitions
8 3
1 9 5
31
36. Small image placed inside a larger one
Sudoku
8
32. Pamper
18. Cutting edges
34. Definitely (two words)
5
29
9. Hawaiian garland
28. Masses of bread
8 6 7
30. Moved suddenly
9
19
27
35. Passageway for walking
1. Consume
8
18
25
34. Musical direction to play loudly
Down
7
23
29. Deceptive fronts
45. Rubber-_____ shoes
15. Surface borders
6
16
28. Double-edged scalpel
44. Accompanied as protection
5 14
27. Effeminate
43. Gang
14. Afterbirth
4
15
40. Dwarf haven
13. Department store chain
3
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Across 6. Bare-breasted
2
29
21 27
29 33
19 22
30
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31
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35
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Logic Problem By Bogdan Petrescu
You start of with two strings, and each burns in one minute. The strings are different lengths, sizes and consistencies, such that cutting a string in half will not cause it to burn in 30 seconds. The problem: How would you achieve a time interval of 15 seconds just by burning string?
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Comics & Distractions
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
Ask Shaniqua distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Dear Shaniqua: Since the first time I read your column, I’ve been enthralled, and I decided to base my life on your teachings.Whenever I encounter a problem, I think “What would Shaniqua do?” My girlfriend of two years thinks this is strange. Where do I find a new girlfriend? Your most Ardent Admirerer Dear Admirerer, So, what you’re saying is that you always do as Shaniqua says? So, if I were to say “clean the kitchen,” “eat me out with a Scottish accent,” or “bleach your puckered starfish,” you’d follow orders? Well, for such a special case as yourself, I prescribe the following fine-fox-finding remedy: put on a gimp mask, cover your sculpted physique with strawberry sauce, and show up to the Imprint office next Wednesday at 6:00 p.m. I guarantee that a nubile Nubian pleasure princess will be on hand and she’ll know exactly what Shaniqua would do. Dear Shaniqua: I have been in a long distance relationship and recently found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me, more than once, and physically.We went through the whole me-wanting-to-leave-him and him-being-sorry and whatnot, and now we are together again. Here is the scary part: we’re about to get married. I don’t need advice as to how to leave him because I don’t want to. And I don’t want to hear how I have degraded myself to be with him, because I’ve already heard that from my “friends.” I just want to know, now that I am giving him a second chance, how to deal with it. How to get over the fact that he did what he did, how not to be bitter and resentful, and how to trust him again.
31
If you weren’t bogged down with other assignments, what one topic would you love to research?
By Matt Pankhurst “Human anatomy...I like specific body parts” Younus Atchia 3B French “Theoretical physics. It’s completely useless.” David Tyler 3A Civil Engineering “Musicals, because they’re fabulous and provide hours of entertainment.” Alex B. 2B French and English “Manga literature... it gives you an image of Japanese society from a different angle.” Dalun “Narutard” Leong 3A Mechanical Engineering “I’d want to study the physics of shooting people out of cannons – how does that even work?” David C. Dales “Music Appreciation... playing guitar is way better than school.” Dave Smith 2B Kinesiology
Hurt
““Careers... so we can get jobs and not have to starve!”
Dear Hurt,
Vadym Geyfs and Alison Lang
Have you been keeping up with the Shaniqua show? I don’t follow the “hug it out, bitches” approach to dipshit dickslips. Instead, I typically advise putting his cock in a box. And that ain’t no boudouir metaphor. However, you seem to have foregone making a collectible of his delectable, so I’ll leave my playa-slayer tricks up my sleeve. Instead, let’s focus on another problem — you ain’t got all your sistahs wit chu.To get a move on movin’ on, tell those frontin’ fuck-ups you call “friends” that six inch clear platforms do not constitute moral high ground. Once you get those bitches out of your biz’nis, back that bridal bus up.When did dick-wetting waste of space pop the question? Was it after you caught him with his pants down (literally)? Did he do it to get out of the doghouse? And why, you masochistic Miss Take, did you say yes? You’re apparently “bitter,” “resentful,” and by your own admission don’t trust him — either that rock was so big “you can’t fit your finger in your new purse” or you (at least think) you love him. If it’s the latter, you owe it to your relationship — and more importantly to yourself — to shove that puny-ass ring back where it belongs and let it rust up his pipes until you can wrap your head around what you want your next step to be. Personally, I hope it involves wrapping a wire around his balls and pulling. Hard. Dear Shaniqua, My boyfriend wants me to go down on him, and that’s okay, I’m no prude, but I know that he isn’t circumcised and I’ve heard some horror stories from gal pals about guys they’ve dated who haven’t had the snip. So tell me sister, are we justified in not wanting to go down on these uncut men? Unsure about Uncric’d Dear Unsure, Who you calling “sister?” There isn’t a cock in this hood that can scare this bitch, so don’t lump me in with you and your delicate debutante friends.Yes, dickcheese is an acquired taste, but it shouldn’t be on the menu if he keeps his kitchen clean; if you want him to eat out at the greasy poon, you’ve got to be willing to stop for street meat once and a while — even it means coaxing the sausage out of its bun. Suck it up, princess.
Missed Connections are BACK! Send yours to: distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
4B History and 2B History
“I would pay money to have her bitchslap me” — Travis Myers
Are YOU sassy enough for Shaniqua? distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
32
Comics & Distractions
Imprint, Friday, March 20, 2009
POSTSCRIPT
GRAHAM MOOGK-SOULIS
IMPRESSION, BY JIM & LAN
LOOSE SCREWS
GEOFFREY LEE & SONIA LEE
IN THE WEEDS KURTIS ELTON
BY MATT FIG, BRANDON FORLER, AND KEEGAN TREMBLAY
RUNAWAY RINGTOSS
PETER N. TRINH