Imprint_2010-10-22_v33_14

Impr int The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper

Friday, October 22, 2010

Vol 33, No

imprint . uwaterloo . ca

14

See the ARTS section for an in-depth GRFF preview Majuratan Sadagopan

Michael Chung arts & entertainment editor

J

ust a short four years ago, the Grand River Film Festival (GRFF) began its quest to become one of the Grand River region’s most prized events; its novelty becomes evident in comparison to similar formations, such as the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF), which has been evolving since 1976. Nonetheless, it is an event which brings giddiness to a surprisingly diverse audience, as the material spans across local, foreign, and Canadian submissions. With a

variety of events in store for this year’s celebration of film in the Grand River region, the festival promises to be full of new wonders and juicy surprises.

If you have not attended the event in prior years, definitely put at least one of the many events held by the GRFF on your list of things to do. The region is very fortunate to have the event essentially right under our feet.

With a variety of film viewings in several locations stretched across hours of playtime, there should surely be no excuse to miss out on one of the things that solidifies the artistic side of the Grand River community. Some of the feature films of

this year’s event include A Night to Remember, 3 Saisons, and The Secret in their Eyes. Competitions and prizes are also part of the schedule this year, giving you, the community, a chance to prove yourself and get your film out there.

So whip out some extra change and find a few hours to go to this once-a-year hit that may spark some new interests and give you opportunities to meet influential figures in the film industry.

It is the biggest event celebrating film that our cities have ever seen, and everyone loves movies, so why not? arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Prospective mayors debate student issues

Brent Golem

assistant editor-in-chief

M

ayoral candidates came back to school to teach the students about their respective platforms and views.

The debate, held last Wednesday in V1 by Feds, was one of the last opportunities for the council hopefuls to engage students before they take to the polls on Monday. All four candidates attended the meeting, including incumbent Brenda Halloran, two-term counciller Jan D’Ailly, Franklin Ramsoomair, and Dale Ross.

Feds VP Education Nick Soave moderated the event which saw some excellent student turnout, but apart from advertising an iPad giveaway, there was little done by Feds to appeal to students, with little signage leading to the room. Candidates appeared to have done little more to engage students in the issues.

Going into the election, it is apparent that four main issues appeal to the student interest. Two referendum questions also appear on the docket, and not much variety was seen in their responses. All of the candidates were

opposed to amalgamation, as they feel that small communities and councils were more effecient and less bureaucratic. Meanwhile, everyone except incumbent Brenda Halloran do not believe Waterloo should be fluoridating their water, all citing medical reasons.

Halloran believed that there were discernable results from fluoridation and it was good for the community.

Next, the debate turned to the proposed Light Rail Transit plan. All of the candidates were opposed to this initiative, saying that the current proposal cost tax-payers too much money.

Naturally, the debate lead into the next major issue, and the candidates discussed their views on the student housing problems. D’Ailly started off by saying he wanted to use the land-use study to develop a long-term plan and balance students at about 50 per cent in the area. Halloran believed that a longterm plan with nodes and corridors was needed. Ramsoomair said that if he was the most supported candidate in Northdale, and wanted to turn that area into a liveable area. Ross said the problem has existed for 35 years since attending Laurier, and he would remove constraints to address a solution.

Ryan Webb

The mayoral candidates for the City of Waterloo took on student issues and questions during the Feds run debate at V1 on Wednesday.

Feds backgrounder for the event noted that city council, which includes both Halloran and D’Ailly, has two proposals for the Northdale complex, neither of which is endorsed by Feds.

They are calling for the city of Waterloo to work in partnership with both univeristies and its students to develop a workable strategy for Northdale. Presi-

dent Bradley Moggach also noted that only candidate Franklin Ramsoomair had approached Feds execute to open a dialogue and discuss student issues.

The audio for the debate can be found on Feds website, and a summary of answers posted on their twitter account. bgolem@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

For election coverage and mayor candidate bio’s, see page 14

News

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010 news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Rising in the east: Engineering 5 opens doors Eduardo Ramirez staff reporter

T

Ethan Oblak

Dean of Engineering, Adel Sedra, addresses the overflowing crowd gathered in the Aecon Atrium of the brand new Engineering 5 building that now dominates the eastern portion of the main UW campus. Meanwhile, the president of the Waterloo Engineering Endowment Fund, Praveen Arichandran (left), and university president Feridun Hamdullahpur (second from left) look on from the front row. Engineering 5 officially opened on Tuesday, marking the beginning of campus expansion east of the VIA railroad tracks, north of University Plaza.

Luna Wei assistant news editor

Loss of Integrity: U of Winnipeg Valedictorian addresses

A valedictory speech delivered at the University of Winnipeg convocation this past Sunday has caused far-reaching political backlash.

The 22-year-old valedictorian, Erin Larson, spoke of her disappointment in the University of Winnipeg’s recent decision in awarding an honourary Doctor of Laws to Manitoba Conservative MP Vic Toews.

“I’m extremely honoured to be selected as valedictorian [but] I have to admit I’m not proud to share the stage with everybody that is on it today,” Larson commented with Toews, the federal public safety minister, nearby on stage.

There had been much criticism of the university’s decision to honour Toew’s due to his public statements regarding crime, immigration, and same-sex marriages. As such, some critics felt that the action threatened the integrity of the university, and ruined its reputation for being inclusive and progressive.

University of Winnipeg’s president and vice-chancellor Lloyd Axworthy, a former federal Liberal cabinet member, felt disappointment over Larson’s speech. “[Toews] talked about what it meant to be a student. I think that was the unfortunate part, that [the valedictory address] was used as a way to make a political statement, not a statement on behalf of the graduates.”

Students win Charter case at U of C

This past Wednesday, a case challenging the University of Calgary’s actions in disciplining a pair of students for defamatory remarks on a former faculty member has received its final judgement.

Court of Queen’s Bench Justice Jo’Anne Strekaf was called to the case in 2008 after a pair of University of Calgary students, Keith and Steven Pridgen, created a Facebook page criticizing a former professor. The remarks, claiming incompetency, were directed towards former Prof. Aruna Mitra, in the Department of Communication and Culture.

Upon discovering the page, Mitra alerted the dean and the brothers were placed on probation as the pair had violated the university’s code of conduct. After the two students were asked to write an apologetic letter and refused, the brothers took the case to court, arguing that the university violated their Charter right to freedom of expression.

Strekaf ruled in favour of the brothers stating that educating students constitutes a core government-directed mandate, and policies that affect students beyond educational boundaries are subject to Charter scrutiny.

“This is awesome, amazing, I’m relieved,” Keith Pridgen, now a fourth year political science student, said.

“Everybody in their first year just accepts where the university is going, because they don’t want to mess up. Now, the fact that a judge says the university can infringe your charter rights, it’s amazing to me.”

he university’s newest building, Engineering 5, is impressive. It makes you feel as if you are inside the TRON movie: black backgrounds, tones of grey and blue, and shinny fluorescent lights.

An opening ceremony was held Tuesday where UW’s President, Feridun Hamdullahpur, and the Dean of Engineering, Adel Sedra,inaugurated the new building.

After five years of planning and construction, the E5 building is slowly filling up. Its features include a massive student design centre and an electromagnetic radiation laboratory that will improve the research of the students in the faculty of engineering.

E5 is the first building of what will become the “east campus,” and there is already a new project waiting in line, the Engineering 6 building. E5 is a 16,000 sq. metre building, which makes it the largest building on campus and is primarily designated for automotive research, design, and labs.

The building will become main building for the mechanical, mechanical, and system design engineering departments.

Students agree that the new building will give an advantage to

Kevin Barr, the university’s lawyer argued that the brothers posted defamatory remarks, directed at a professor that were set up in purpose of injuring Mitra’s reputation and public character.

Strekaf ruled that there was no direct evidence of injury to Mitra as she did not provide testimony during the hearings.

Boyle predicts the effect of this ruling will have a huge effect of student rallies and protests on university property.

Online evaluation ignored by universities

Ratemyprofessor.com, an internet site where students evaluate their professors, has been highly useful for university students in spreading information on how effective certain professors are in communicating their course material. With around 6,000 profiles and over one million evaluations, Ratemyprofessor.com has established itself as an essential tool for students embarking on a new term.

Universities such as the University of Toronto are aware of the popularity of online evaluations but are not planning to use the information for any kind of formal evaluation of its faculty.

With the overwhelming usage of these tools, the University of Toronto is proposing to introduce their own online evaluation system with an expected release date of September 2011.

According to Prof. Edith Hillan, ViceProvost of Faculty and Academic Life at the university, sites such as Ratemyprofessors.com are “useful for students, [but] often you’ll get

UW engineering students since the faculty and the university invested so much time and money in creating the top of the line facility.

Significant funding for Engineering 5 came from the Vision 2010 Campaign, a $120 million fundraising effort targeted at helping achieve the faculty’s ambitious strategic goals.

With two years remaining, the campaign has raised $76 million to date.

The student-run Waterloo Engineering Endowment Fund (WEEF) also provided $1 million towards the building. WEEF’s contribution went towards establishing a Student Design Centre. The design centre will be the new home of the Formula SAE vehicle, the Clean Snowmobile, and other engineering projects.

Sedra declared, “We have built one of the best undergraduate design facilities in the world for our outstanding student projects.” The new electromagnetic radiation laboratory is also housed in the building and will be used for wireless communications research.

Research in Motion contributed with funding.

Two more engineering buildings are in the works as part of a $120 million strategic plan for the university’s future.

Some of the vehicles and prototypes are already on exhibition. eramirez@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

comments or scores at the extreme end of the spectrum.”

Many faculty members recognize that online evaluation sites are useful as students cannot access official evaluations made by the university as they remain confidential.

Students and profs take dares to fight AIDS

The University of Guelph is taking part in the “Dare to Remember” national campaign, run by the Stephen Lewis Foundation. The event involves students taking dares to raise money for the fight against AIDS in Africa.

This year the event takes place from Oct. 18 to 22.

Nicole Markwick, a third year bachelor of arts and sciences at Guelph, is an active participant of the campaign. “The whole concept is daring yourself to take risks, put yourself out there, do something you normally wouldn’t do.”

Last year, Markwick and other students wore boxer shorts and asked people for donations. They raised close to $900.

The “Dare to Remember” 2010 campaign adds a new dynamic, as faculty members are getting involved this year.

“Our goal this year is raising awareness and promoting sustainability rather than a specific dollar amount,” Markwick said. “We want people to become familiar with the event so that it is something that they want to take part in each year.”

— With files from Calgary Herald, Maclean’s, Winnipeg Sun, and CBC

4

News

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

Purple is the colour of spirit

Mika Ilic reporter

A miscalculation on the Mayan calendar

A chapter criticizing the date conversion of the Mayan calendar was published in the textbook Calendars and Years II: Astronomy and Time in the Ancient and Medieval World.

Previously, it was believed that the world would end on December 21, 2012, but arguments now show that the true conversion to our Gregorian calendar could be off up to 50 to 100 years. This means that the world could end in the distant future, or might have ended already.

Originally the GMT constant, named after three early Mayanist researchers, along with colonial documents adapted the calendar.

The colonial documents, however, had to be converted from the Mayan language which was written in the Latin alphabet.

American linguist and anthropologist, Floyd Lounsbury, strengthened the GMT constant using data in the Dresden Codex Venus Table. The Venus Table is a Mayan calendar and almanac that charts data from the movement of Venus.

The flaw in these works is not the Venus Table however, but in the historical data that is less than reliable. Aldana chooses to look at the current findings and how they are wrong, meaning the apocalypse will not occur at what was originally assumed.

Ugandan newspaper publishes gay and lesbian names for arrest

Michael Chung

Many UW students participated in “Wear Purple Day” or “Spirit Day” as they honoured the memory of six homosexual teenagers who took their lives recently after experiencing pressure and harassment, and also to support tolerance of the queer community. People from across the continent participated in the event by wearing purple, including several celebrities.

A Ugandan newspaper called Rolling Stone featured an article with the nation’s top 100 gays and lesbians, including their photos and addresses. Adjacent to the list was a yellow strip with the words, “Hand them.”

Most countries in and around the area, like Kenya, make homosexuality a crime since sodomy laws were established during the colonial period. In Uganda specifically, the acts receive 14 years to life imprisonment.

Giles Muhame, the paper’s editor, said he published the story to expose the people to

authorities so that they could be arrested. The Media Council sent a warning to Muhame and a cease and desist for the newspaper.

Not for the list, but instead for publishing without permits.

Angered activists are letting it be known their disapproval for the story. Julian Pepe, a lesbian whose name was mentioned in the article, says those named are now living in fear and have had to quit their jobs or move.

Nsaba Buturo, Uganda’s ethics and integrity minister, dismissed the activists. He claimed they are lying and it is simply a way for them to mobilize support and empathy from the outside. Buturo also stated how the anti-gay measure will be dealt with and passed in due course.

British budget cuts to fight economical woes

The British government announced heavy budget cuts on Wednesday in an attempt to brave through the squandering economy.

Chancellor George Osborne has promised that he will leave no stone unturned at the House of Commons. The government plans to cut 490,000 jobs from the public payroll within four years.

Quasi-governmental agencies are also being scratched, including the UK Film Council. Moreover, the defence budget will lose 10 per cent of personnel in five years.

Despite the cuts, the National Health Service will continue receiving more spending every year, spending 0.7 per cent of the GDP on overseas aid by 2013.

These cuts have been long expected, following a comprehensive spending review made in May by the new British government.

The Treasury stated that paying interest on governmental debt costs 44 billion pounds a year, or US$ 69 billion. They predict a peak in spending this year, then a fall in 2015-16 on par to the 2003-04 levels.

— With files from CNN, CBC, The Associated Press and LiveScience

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Opinion

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010 opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IMPRINT

Col. Russell Williams pleads guilty to all 88 charges

The University of Waterloo’s official student newspaper

Friday, October 22, 2010 Vol. 33, No. 14 Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Gina Racine editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Co-op placements, Annie Laufer, David Lehto, Eleonora Meszaros, Julia Peters Sales Assistant, vacant Systems Admin., Ben Waismark Distribution, Abdul Asmat Distribution, Ali Saeed Volunteer co-ordinator, Michael To Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Angela Gaetano president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, vacant vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Howard Leung treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Erin Thompson secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Keriece Harris liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Brent Golem Head Reporter, vacant Lead Proofreader, Divyesh Mistry Cover Editor, vacant News Editor, Ryan Webb News Assistant, Luna Wei Opinion Editor, Clara Shin Opinion Assistant, Lindsay Simmons Features Editor, Dinh Nguyen Features Assistant, Zoe Kim Arts & Entertainment, Michael Chung Arts Assistant, Marta Borowska Science & Tech Editor, Jordan Campbell Science & Tech Assistant, Jennifer Nguyen Sports & Living Editor, vacant Sports & Living Assistant, Namish Modi Photo Editor, Ethan Oblak Photo Assistant, Sophie Côté Graphics Editor, Alcina Wong Graphics Assistant, Majuratan Sadagopan Production Staff Gabriela Grant, Alex Patel, Mika Ilic, Ryane Cole, Michelle Sterba, Stephen Kearse, Rachel Viscontas, Jacqueline Lee, Tammy Chou, Winona So, Ronald Chui, Jacqueline McKoy Lambert Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA).

Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request.

Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards.

Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122.

Next staff meeting: Monday, Oct. 25 12:30 p.m.

Next board of directors meeting: Friday, October 29 12:30 p.m.

editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

C

Warning: This story contains disturbing details.

anadians observed in shock last week as the grueling details of the crimes of David Russell Williams, a former colonel in the Canadian Air Force, finally surfaced. Headlines read: Murder victims pleaded for their lives; ‘I don’t want to die,’ victim pleaded with Williams; and Col. Russell Williams: A serial killer like none police have seen.

The Toronto Star’s website has a tab on their homepage with an entire selection of articles surrounding Williams’ trial. His face is everywhere and, now, pretty much every person in Canada knows who Col. Russell Williams is.

Last week, David Russell Williams pleaded guilty to all 88 charges against him including two counts of first-degree murder, two counts each of sexual assault and forcible confinement, and 82 break-ins and attempted break-ins.

Whether or not it was to the surprise of the victims’ families and the general public, when asked by Judge Robert F. Scott what his plea

was, Williams quietly responded, “Guilty, your honour.”

After fully submerging myself in the timelines and horrifically graphic details of the Col. Russell Williams case, I almost threw up.

After reading the statements from court about the events that transpired during the murders of Jessica Lloyd and Marie-France Comeau, I was so disturbed, upset, and emotional that I felt like I was going to vomit.

I cried, I questioned the meaning of life, I called my mom for comfort. I, along with what I hope would be millions of other human beings, was extremely disturbed.

As Ontario Provincial Police Det. Insp. Chris Nicholas put it, “...the nation is getting a good dose of reality of just how evil people can be.”

But evil does not even begin to describe David Russell Williams.

For the deaths of Jessica Lloyd, 27, and Cpl. Marie-France Comeau, 38, Williams faces an auto-

matic sentence of life in prison, with no possibility of parole for at least 25 years.

For a total of 88 disturbing crimes, including the murders of two people, Williams faces life without eligibility of parole for 25 years.

That’s right, he will only spend a maximum of 25 years in prison, because our court system is an epic failure.

No, I do not believe Canada should get all Texas on us and begin enforcing capital punishment.

But don’t you think it’s time we take a look at the judicial system and urge for a change, like the possibility of serving life sentences consecutively and not concurrently? How did we determine that one person’s life equates to 25 years anyway?

I can’t decide what’s worse, the indescribable crimes committed by Williams, or the fact that he will never receive the proper punishment for these crimes.

With files from CBC News and thestar.ca

Unconditional love on the international stage pmcgeown@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

I

t gets slightly more absurd every day. Last week (Oct. 14), the National Post ran an article about Michael Ignatieff ’s take on CanadaIsrael relations. Ignatieff, speaking at one of his Open Mike public forums, was asked about a Toronto Liberal candidate who suggested that Canada be more open to criticizing Israel.

The questioner was told that the candidate’s comments were “not consistent with party policy,” and that, “We stand shoulder to shoulder with the democratic state of Israel. End of story.”

Excuse me? Criticizing another country runs counter to Liberal dogma?

I should point a few things out, for the sake of objectivity. Ignatieff was speaking at the Beth Emeth Synagogue in Toronto and, as a politician of the highest order (in no way meant as a compliment), a blushingly pro-Israel answer was to be expected.

Canada blind to Israel’s belligerence Furthermore, and rather obviously, Ignatieff is not the Prime Minister, and so at present does not speak for Canada.

However, his Liberal’s Israel policy is, aesthetically, no different from that of the current Conservative government.

Let me be clear: standing shoulderto-shoulder with Israel is not deplorable, but Israel is far from perfect, and a close relationship with the state does not do wonders for Canada’s international image. Regardless, Canada quite literally refuses to speak ill of her Israeli counterparts.

Remember the Israeli raid on the Turkish flotilla bound for Gaza? The raid killed nine activists, contravened international law, and was categorized as brutal and disproportionate by the UN Human Rights Council. Most of the world responded with blatant condemnation; Prime Minister Stephen Harper said that: “Canada deeply regrets this action, this loss of life, and the injuries that have occurred.”

That Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was standing immediately behind—Netanyahu was visiting Ottawa at the time of the incident —is no excuse for not responding to the incident with firm opposition. Netanyahu cut his visit short anyway – and entirely abandoned a meeting with U.S. President Barack Obama – and realistically could have boarded a plane without ever appearing alongside Harper.

This unconditional love for Israel is replicated south of the border, too.

In attempting to induce Israel to agree to another phony settlement freeze — this in the interest of re-starting peace talks with Palestine — the U.S. offered Netanyahu a veritable Price is Right showcase, including military hardware. In effect, the U.S. is offering to reward Israel for its belligerence.

You might reasonably expect that such favourable treatment of one country might make other countries

ask, “Why not me?” This doesn’t get said publicly; it may not get said at all.

But what does occur is anti-Canadian and anti-American sentiment among Arabs; disproportionate support for Israel is a prominent contention of Islamic extremist groups who target America.

You know that sad-sack friend who’s stuck in a terrible relationship with a girl who nobody likes, who humiliates him in public, and who takes all his money? And you think to yourself, “The sex must be good,” only you find out he hasn’t gotten any in months; that guy? Canada – the U.S. even more so – is that guy. A contentious analogy to be sure, but hey, the lack-of-sex angle sure helps explain American over-aggression and machismo.

With files from cp24.com, Haaretz, the National Post, and the New York Times.

It’s kitschity-kitsch

I

’m ravenous for new words these days. One of the latest I’ve come across is the term kitsch or kitschy. This comes from the Yiddish term, and, loosely speaking, denotes anything that is in mode or stylish. You can think of its rough equivalent as being vintage as far as clothing is concerned, along with certain household items as well.

There’s a lot that can be labelled as kitschy these days. Designers have a habit of revamping old styles and creating new ones by using pre-existing patterns or styles as with furniture. Those neat swivel chairs from the sixties are just one example and are slowly gaining eminence in certain furniture galleries, such as IKEA: convenience and simplicity combined with overall flair.

aahadie@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

But like everything else in our sordid world, kitsch isn’t for everyone. What is kitschy isn’t necessarily what’s trendy. And what is trendy isn’t necessarily what’s popular. So how to go about explaining such a conspicuous term?

The best place to look is in pop culture.

The word has moved away from its original foci in arts and humanities to include a much broader and more understandable viewpoint.

It is pointed and sincere.

It is abrasive without being rude. It projects what is better than itself. It’s something everyone should be after, whether in fashion, music, or furniture. It can even be turned into your very own mindset.

Kitsch also has a habit of encompassing what is slightly worn or tacky. Again, consider the swivel chairs.

Their demented circular spin and tug makes them very unmalleable and difficult to manoeuvre.

Their shape is obtuse and hard. Worse, the feel of it is cold and uncompromising.

So why revive a style that should have long been dead? I would like to suggest that there is an overriding functionality to these chairs that surpasses what they were actually built for. You can swivel in it, for goodness sake!

Best of all, you don‘t need someone else to push it for you. It’s like your office chair only much more comfortable. Convenience at a price.

Opinion

6

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

Community Editorials

Canonization needs divine intervention

Igor Muratov 2a economics

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ens of thousands of people have packed St. Peter’s Square for the canonization of Australia’s first saint and that of a Canadian brother considered by the faithful a ‘miracle worker.’ Five other people, from Australia, Poland, Italy and Spain, were also being declared saints Sunday during a mass celebrated by Pope Benedict XVI.” Wow. Six saints in one day — big day for heaven, right? Personally, when I heard the story on the news I got really curious as to how one becomes a saint.

So let me tell you guys about how ridiculous — and I can tell you that it really is utterly ridiculous — this concept is. I am not trying to convert anyone to atheism, but I do feel that there are a lot of uncomfortable facts out there which should provide at least some food for thought to people who claim to be true believers.

So let’s see. How does one become a saint?

Well, I think the official statement says it best:

“Since miracles are considered proof that the person is in heaven and can intercede for us, the miracle must take place after the candidate’s death and as a result of a specific petition to the candidate.”

Essentially, if you pray for people in need and their cirumstances improve, they can claim their recovery as your miracle. Clearly, the church misses the whole causation versus correlation difference. At this point, I began to wonder exactly how many people believe this.

Well, the most recent Canadian saint, Father André, seems to be doing fine in the followers department. “When he died at age 91 in 1937, one million people filed by his coffin at St. Joseph’s Oratory.”

This is absolutely amazing. I mean, the guy must have had quite an impact to have one million people show up at his funeral.

According to the Vatican, “André is associated with an extraordinary 125,000 miracles.”

But only two of those were responsible for his sainthood. Both are faith healings; one is a cancer survivor and the other is a nameless

person who allegedly woke up from a coma.

Did any of his patients receive medical care?

What about the cases where André prayed and the person died?

It seems, however, that the Vatican does not believe in unbiased research either.

This whole process is similar to that story about the octopus predicting the FIFA winner.

Do we make him a “saint” as well? But, even after death, people seem to keep buying into this whole miracle thing.

“We just had to be here,” Ms. Deming said.

“I have a very bad ankle and Lynn has a very bad knee and we expect miracles today.”

But let’s not focus one saint. After all, there are over 10,000 officially registered saints out there. In fact, saints come practically for every human profession and problem one can imagine.

I guess it is intuitive that there are saints to pray for fertility, good fortune, or good health.

I bet most of you did not even suspect, though, that there are saints for comedians, actors, and accountants (for all my AFM friends, pray to St.

Matthew before exams). The most ridiculous one I found was a saint for cab drivers (St. Fiace). He is also the saint for gardeners. How did God make a saint for cab drivers you might ask? He told the Pope, of course.

Let me put this into perspective: the Pope is given a divine status, a status which is not given to even the most contributing members of our society today.

I get that priests may bring comfort to believers, but does that really make them worthy of sainthood?

It is not hard to find more criticism and logical fallacies in this whole process of sainthood—but perhaps the same can be said of religion as a whole?

I guess what makes me a little angry is that someone who spends their day talking to picture and asking it to help strangers receives a divine status, while there are people out there doing real heroic and selfless things for others and not receiving similar recognition when they die.

I don’t see how one million people can’t grasp this simple matter of fact.

Dear Parking Services Kyle Nova 3a biomedical sciences

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fter stumbling across your webpage’s “hot off the press section,” it’s not hard to imagine where the $160,500 in ticket revenue you have accumulated has

come from. The disaster we refer to as parking lot C is a situation begging for parking services to further milk the cash cow that is the student body.

I’m well aware that any parking area needs to be enforced, but the constant overflow of desperate students searching for a spot in parking lot C is

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entirely preventable and unnecessary.

Parking services has sold far too many permits this term and is allowing the $3 visitor passes to be shot out of the machine like quarters from a winning slot machine.

Now that the lot is full on any given day, from early morning until late afternoon, you leave a large number of students who planned to attend class on time with a crappy decision to make.

Option 1. Park illegally in the huge open spaces on the sides of the lots which, by the way, could have been made into more spots and accept one of your lovely “increased parking fines” which came into effect Sept.

15, or better yet, accept the fact that our car will be in an impound lot when we return after class.

Option 2. Drive around aimlessly hoping for random car X to back out of a spot as you are fighting your way down a lane filled with cars in the exact same situation you are. Note: you should hope you aren’t going to

be late for a lab, midterm, presentation, etc, where marks are seriously affected by punctuality. Generally, this is when students get desperate and opt for Option 1.

Option 3. Drive all the way to parking lot X or W (lot N is a write-off due to its small size) and run to RCH, AL, CPH, etc. Usually this means accepting the fact that you will be 10 to 15 minutes late. This will be even more fun in the slush and ice that is soon to come. Note that, on occasion, I have parked in lot X during peak hours and it too, is often nearing capacity.

Option 4. Drive to UWP and pay $3 despite the fact that we already paid $140 without tax for a permit that is essentially useless.

So what can be done? It’s fairly easy to compile a list of things that could be done: Sell less permits, stop selling so many visitor passes every day (have a set limit on the machine), don’t allow visitor passes in lots C and N, build more spots in the wide open edges of

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Writer’s Note: I have never been given a ticket or been towed

by Parking Services. I’m speaking on behalf of all the students who are in this lousy situation that you have created. I have spent anywhere from 20 to 35 minutes waiting for a single spot due to the overcrowding, which is absolutely ridiculous. I know I am extremely fortunate to have my own car and don’t have to wait outside for a bus – but the point I want to make is that you are titled “Parking Services” and hence should be providing us a service, not a lack thereof.

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the lot, expand the lot itself, allow us to park in a nearby lot should there be an overflow, etc.

Our student body is one of the most intelligent in North America; I’m sure out of the thousands of students at our school, there’s a handful in various faculties that would both be smart enough to realize that such a problem will constantly arise in peak hours and find a solution and implement it.

So my question is simple; why isn’t anything being done (other than tow us and ticket us?)

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Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010 science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

UW analysis: Student demographics in Waterloo Jordan Campbell science & technology editor

I

staff reporter

n 2008, the University of Waterloo participated in the National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE). The NSSE is conducted by the Indiana University Centre for Post-secondary Research. The survey obtains information on many different demographics, some of which are shown below. For the full survey results for 2004, 2006, and 2008, visit the Waterloo Institutional Analysis and Planning website. jcampbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Discovered by the Imperial College London, the genetic differences of the two strains showing changes meant that Gene linked to depression found researchers can contain one strain, but on mice not the other.

Researchers work to contain the A recent study done at Yale University published in Science Translational effects of malaria and the carriers of Medicine, has been able to link a gene the disease. The problem that they that causes depression in mice. With this face, however, is that the mosquitoes recent discovery, UK gene therapists themselves are evolving to combat said that gene therapy should look into insecticides that were created to fight research that may advance usage in the them off in the first place. Some insecticides that were thought to be effective market in preventing depression.

Prof. Ronald Duman, who led the against one generation of mosquitoes study, said the discovery was “particu- may become useless against another.

During the research, two studies larly exciting” because of the gene’s link with maintaining healthy brain function. were conducted to compare the two “This could be a primary cause, or at strains genetically. The first study least a major contributing factor, to showed that they were indeed quite difthe signalling abnormalities that lead ferent. The second study looked deeper into the genome of the mosquitoes to depression,” he said.

This newly discovered gene, known themselves. Factors in the environment as p11, was found when a modified virus such as different larval habitats or difwas injected into mice at a lab after they ferent pathogens and predators may started showing abnormal behaviours. have changed these genes.

Deceased brains of patients who had depression showed that they lacked p11 Mothers make bigger brains in an area of the brain known as the Dr. Pilyoung Kim ahd her colnucleus accumbens. This was thought to control the chemical known as se- leagues at the National Institute of rotonin, which moderates our mood, Mental Health have speculated that hormone changes begin occurring after appetite, and sleep.

For the study, some mice were childbirth. In a study published in the bred deliberately to be missing the October issue of Behavioural Neuroscience, gene. These mice exhibited strange an increase of estrogen, oxytocin, and behaviours, such as lacking motivation prolactin helps the mother respond to to swim to land. When given the modi- their babies easier.

In the same issue, Dr. Craig Kinsley fied virus to produce p11, the mice’s behaviour became normal once more. and Dr. Elizabeth Meyer wrote that the Dr. Michael Kaplitt from Weill feel of motherhood comes from these Cornell Medical Center and one of the changes within the hormones, rather research leaders said, “We potentially than being an instinctive response itself. have a novel therapy to target what The brains of 19 mothers, who gave we now believe is one root cause of birth to an even number of boys and human depression. Current therapies girls, were given brain scans to see if any for depression treat symptoms but not changes actually occur. After about four underlying causes. While that works for months after birth, the brain itself had many patients, those with advanced grown in some portions, though not by depression, or depression that does not considerable sizes. While conducting respond to medication, could hopefully the study, the mothers who say positive traits about their babies also had benefit from our approach.”

Due to the fact that this virus had to developed larger brains. Some of these be injected via a hole in the skull, it could areas that increased included the hypopresent dangerous operations for those thalamus, substantia nigra, amygdala, working with this new therapy. Despite parietal lobe, and the prefrontal cortex.

The authors said that postpartum that, researchers remain optimistic. depression may involve reductions in the same brain areas that grew in Mosquitoes with malaria evolve mothers who were not depressed.

Killing one child every 30 seconds, “The abnormal changes may be asand with over 200 million people in- sociated with difficulties in learning fected, malaria is one of the deadliest the rewarding value of infant stimuli diseases to exist. One of the strains and in regulating emotions during the of mosquitoes that carry the disease, postpartum period,” they said. however, seems to be evolving. Two —With files from Science Daily, BBC, strains, known as M and S, of the Anopheles gambiae mosquito, have begun and The Deccan Herald. to change.

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Science & Technology

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Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

Electronic Arts recruits in Waterloo Ivan Lui staff reporter

A

n information session was held by Electronic Arts (EA) on Oct. 14 aimed at computer science students in co-op, as well as those who may look forward to working in the gaming industry in the future in the Tatham Centre. The talk promoted and showed students some of the more technical aspects of the gaming industry.

Andres Rivela, a computer science alumnus from the University of Waterloo, headed the talk. Having himself been hired by EA during his co-op terms, Rivela showed off his knowledge of the industry, talking about various components that it takes to create a game. He offered some hints as well to those that he was to interview later the next day. Some attendees in the audience were first years and had no comprehension towards the material being presented.

“Just be positive,” Rivela had said to those who were worried. “Have passion towards what you do [in gaming] and you’ll make it.”

On top of that, Rivela had given out some key pointers to becoming a successful computer scientist.

“Self motivation for the work that’s presented to you makes large differences in the results you get,” according to Rivela.

The most important quality to have, however, is a love for your work.

“Having love for the work and believing that if someone can do something, they will get it done. That’s very important,” Rivela said.

Becoming discouraged may set a programmer back, but being able to return to the drawing board is a highly valued skill that many lack.

Rivela also recommended having a passion for work outside of school. High marks may get employers to notice you, but Rivela had said that employers also look

Photo courtesy electronic arts

for more than just that. Having side projects or being involved in extracirricular often shows employers that students are more than just machines absorbing books.

The ability to use the knowledge learned and then apply it to something outside of class is of great importance, says Rivela.

While EA itself as a company has been struggling to make a major hit on the market, Rivela does not believe that it will have an impact on its relations with the students.

“EA will always continue looking for students in Waterloo,” Rivela said. “They recognize the talent here...the future won’t change and that goes for the relationship with the students as well.” ilui@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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ichard Feynman: If you ever needed a poster boy of physics, he is a prime candidate.

He was a gifted lecturer/teacher and a genius by any stretch of the imagination—he received the Nobel Prize in the 1960s. He is very well known for his free-spirit attitude towards physics and his adversarial attitude towards authority.

So why exactly did he win that Nobel Prize anyway? The work he did on quantum electrodynamics (QED), which is a type of quantum field theory, was a principal reason.

In summary, he took electrodynamics and made it compatible with quantum mechanics. With complex terms like quantum electrodynamics and quantum field theory, one gets the feeling that this field of study is complicated and difficult to understand—and it is. What Feynman became famous for was simplifying QED problem-solving. He devised a very clever way of solving equations through pictures. Yes, pictures.

He realised that by drawing a few squiggles and lines on a page, one can do immensely complicated calculations quickly and easily without worrying about the mathematics.

This may seem silly, but his contemporaries were publishing papers that contained incredibly complicated equations that could be three lines long and were simply unappealing to look at.

In the words of Julian Schwinger, who shared the Nobel Prize with Feynman, “Feynman brought quantum field theory to the masses.” Just by idly doodling while trying to work out complicated equations, Feynman

lbovard@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

came up with a simple set of rules for doing calculations. To those doodlers who aren’t paying attention in class: one day you could be a be a Nobel laureate.

These diagrams, unsurprisingly called, Feynman diagrams, are a staple of many physicists’ office.

When Feynman was teaching QED, he would inevitably have to discuss Feynman diagrams. He would turn around slowly and cheekily call them “those diagrams.” In fact, Feynman owned a big yellow Dodge van that had “those diagrams” drawn all over it and the licence plate “QANTUM.” There are hundreds of stories about Feynman that have made him a legend in physics folklore. Every physicist can recite at least one story about Feynman that has been passed down among physicists, or was told to them by a friend of a friend.

In our own physics department, one of the professors went drinking with Feynman way back in the 60s, and another regularly attended seminars hosted by him. There are people around campus who have met and talked with some of those names in your physics text. I think that’s much more interesting than hearing about some old dead guy from the 1700s.

Feynman also had a reputation of being a notorious prankster, which only cemented his status in folklore.

My favourite prank is what I like to call the door story.

It took place during Feynman’s undergraduate years at MIT when he lived in a fraternity.

One night he went downstairs and

noticed that someone had stolen one of the doors of a study area. Instead of going to find it himself, Feynman decided this was a perfect moment for mischief. He quickly detached the other door, brought it into the basement, and hid it behind a furnace.

The next morning, the rest of the fraternity discovered that the doors were missing. Naturally, they asked Feynman if he had taken it.

He sarcastically responded, hat he had and showed them the marks on his hands. They didn’t believe his sarcastic response and asked the next person. It was soon determined who had the first door, and it was assumed that they must have stolen the other one.

After much interrogation, it was established that they had not stolen the other door. At the weekly meeting it was brought up that the door needed to be returned immediately; Feynman proposed they leave a note praising the great genius of the thief and the door might be returned. Of course, his idea was ignored.

Eventually, it was suggested that everyone should, under the honour of the fraternity, admit whether they stole the door or not. This proceeded around the room, with Feynman saying no—much to everyone’s disbelief. Finally, a few days later, he wrote a note with the location of the door and confessed to the crime.

The other members did not believe him and accused him for being a liar.

There are many more stories about Feynman that demonstrate that physicists don’t have to be bland socially awkward geeks but those shall be saved for another time.

Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

9

There’s an app for that Jennifer Nguyen assistant science & technology editor iPhone launched into space

Who needs NASA anyway? A father-and-son team from New York successfully launched a weather balloon carrying an HD video camera and iPhone into space.

After eight months of testing and planning, Luke Geissbuhler, his sevenyear-old son, Max, and other members from the Brooklyn Space Program launched the capsule in August from a site in Newburgh, New York.

The video camera and iPhone were stored inside a Styrofoam capsule insulated with hand-warmers to protect the devices from the sub-zero temperatures of the Earth’s stratosphere.

Twenty minutes after launch, the craft was above the clouds. An hour later, it reached an altitude of 100,000 feet and was recording images of outer space. Eventually, the weather balloon burst due to low atmospheric pressure and began to descend back to Earth at a rate of 150 mph. Anticipating this, Geissbuhler fitted the craft with a parachute to decelerate its descent.

Once the craft entered Earth’s troposphere, the iPhone transmitted its coordinates to a nearby cell tower, allowing the team to determine its location. Interested readers can see the entire voyage on YouTube.

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Facebook’s privacy battle continues

Ontario school turns off Wi-Fi

In the next chapter of Facebook’s on-going battle with privacy issues, we learn that several Facebook applications have been sending users’ personal information to advertising and Internet tracking agencies.

The Wall Street Journal released a report Monday that cited some of Facebook’s most popular applications, like FarmVille and Mafia Wars ,were “providing access to people’s names and, in some cases, their friends’ names.” The applications were transmitting user IDs (unique keys that detects a user’s identity on Facebook) to third-party sites.

Facebook engineer, Mike Vernal, stated in his blog that Facebook is working on a solution. He says the breach of privacy was unintentional and that the web browser used was at fault.

When users run web applications, their user IDs are imbedded in browser “cookies”, which store their information as they surf the net. Unknowingly, cookies were transmitting Facebook users’ personal information to thirdparty websites.

Despite the breach, Vernal assured that “knowledge of a [user] ID does not enable anyone to access private user information without explicit user consent.”

Are you getting headaches on campus? Having trouble concentrating in class? Blame it on the Wi-Fi. A parent council in Meaford, Ontario has voted to unplug the Wi-Fi at their children’s schools. They believe Wi-Fi signals give their children headaches, making it challenging to pay attention while in school. These symptoms appear to be relieved once out of class and vanish entirely by the weekend.

The parents’ decision was based on the findings of a study done by the Royal Society of Canada and LEX Scientific (an environmental consulting firm in Guelph), which indicated potential long-term health effects from Wi-Fi exposure.

Despite the concerns, Health Canada issued a statement in August reporting otherwise: "Health Canada continues to reassure Canadians that the radio frequency energy emitted from Wi-Fi equipment is extremely low and is not associated with any health problems.

Based on scientific evidence, Health Canada has determined that exposure to low-level radio frequency energy, such as that from Wi-Fi equipment, is not dangerous to the public.”

— With files from Times Magazine, NY Times, and CBC News.

Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010 arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A Preview to FRIDAY, October 22

2010 Marta Borowska asst. arts & entertainment editor

T

his is your chance to view some of the jewels emerging artists in film have put together for this year’s Grand River Film Festival (GRFF).

Started by members of the Waterloo Region community with a passion for film, the GRFF has been going on strong for four years. Each season, the festival offers a variety of foreign screenings, movie shorts, a competition for prizes, and a chance to meet many stars and lead figures from the film industry. This year’s festival will also feature The Best of the Best, a collaborative project in which films from other areas’ festivals are showcased.

The GRFF also gives the community an opportunity to get involved through events like the BMO SHORT shorts competition, which allows you to submit your own short film. The Indie Lounge also connects the industry with the amateurs, introducing aspiring artists to the world wide film-making community.

This year’s GRFF will be held from Oct. 21-24 at Princess Cinemas in Waterloo, The Museum in downtown Kitchener, and Galt’s Little Theatre.

There will be a total of nine films shown during the festival. They include: 3 Saisons, The Fish Child, The Secret In Their Eyes, Finding Farley, A Night to Remember, The Band’s Visit, I Heart Video Art, Dead Genesis, and Saint Ralph. A list of their showtimes and location is listed to the left. See page 11 for Imprint’s pick of must catch films during the fesitval. To get tickets to any of the events, visit www.grff.ca.

If you can’t make it to the festival, be sure to catch next’s week Imprint for a comprehensive cover of the events.

ST. RALPH 8:00PM – 9:38PM Galt Little Theatre

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER 6:30PM – 8:33PM Princess Cinemas, Waterloo

DEAD GENESIS 10:00PM Galt Little Theatre

I HEART VIDEO ART 9:00PM THEMUSEUM, Kitchener

SATURDAY, October 23 FINDING FARLEY 11:30AM – 12:35PM Galt Little Theatre

FINDING FARLEY 2:00PM – 3:05PM THEMUSEUM, Kitchener

BMO SHORT SHORTS 1:00PM Galt Little Theatre

James Cameron’s TITANIC 1:30PM – 4:30PM Princess Cinemas, Waterloo

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER 2:00PM – 4:33PM Galt Little Theatre

THE FISH CHILD 5:00PM – 6:36PM Princess Cinemas, Waterloo

THE FISH CHILD 5:00PM – 6:36PM Galt Little Theatre

THE BAND’S VISIT 7:00PM – 8:26PM Princess Cinemas, Waterloo

THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES 7:00PM – 9:07PM Galt Little Theatre

DEAD GENESIS 9:00PM Princess Cinemas, Waterloo THE BAND’S VISIT 9:30PM – 11:06PM Galt Little Theatre

INSIDE THIS SECTION: A preview to GRFF 2010 - Imprint’s Picks P11 Review of the movie RED and Lil Wayne P12

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Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

GRFF 2010: Imprint ’s Picks 3 Saisons

The Fish Child

The film 3 Saisons, French for “3 seasons,” confines the lives of its protagonists within a nine-month period. The film binds two couples, Carmine and Sasha as well as Justine and Seb, whose lives have been shaken by a pregnancy. Carmine and Sasha’s bourgeois lifestyle and affection for each other comes undone as Carmine carries the baby to term, bringing old secrets to the surface. Justine and Seb, on the other hand, are a young grungy couple whose abusive relationship brings clarity to abortion being the easiest solution to the problem.

Completing the cast is Stephen Decker, whose loss of the things both couples discard effortlessly turns him for revenge and a sense of purpose. But as all the characters find out, life hardly ever goes as you expect it to.

The Fish Child is the offspring of Lucia Puenzo, a director who is established in exploring the constraints of society on sexuality with previous films, like XXY and The Whore and The Whale. The anticipated Fish Child is a story of the fight for liberty in the lives of two young girls, Lala and her housemaid La Guayi, the intensity of whose relationship makes crime necessary. After the death of Lala’s father, the girls learn the truth behind appearances, about each other, and about their fragile places in the social jungle.

The Secret in Their Eyes

This Oscar-winning crime thriller commits Benjamin Esposito, a retired criminal court employee, to resolving the murder of a young woman. After forming a bond with her brief husband, Ricardo Morales, Benjamin relies on his old connections, Pablo and Irene, to give him the answers he needs. Facing a cold case lacking evidence, Benjamin is further restrained by the social and political conditions in Argentina.

Dead Genesis

Dead Genesis, a different spin from Shaun of the Dead, is the story of a former writer, Jillian Hurst, who decides to produce a documentary about the fight against zombies, a battle which ends up being known as the War on Dead.

Jillian discovers the difficulty of fighting with the dead once she joins Deadheads, a group of zombie hunters. Emotional and thoughtprovoking, Dead Genesis is a film that will remind the living the greatness of not being dead.

11

Saint Ralph

Saint Ralph is a Canadian film that is about the coming of age of a 14-year-old boy, Ralph Walker, who is determined to come first in the Boston Marathon. However, the headmaster and peers at his Catholic private school see him as a troublemaker. When Ralph is caught participating in an explicit act, the headmaster forces him to join the cross country team. Father Hibbert, Ralph’s coach and mentor, tells the cross country team that it would be a miracle if one of them were to win the marathon. This serves as motivation for Ralph to train, hoping that it would also take his mother out of her coma. Just like Cider House Rules, Saint Ralph is an inspirational film that warms your heart and reinforces the importance of reaching your dreams.

— Anya Lomako and Marta Borowska

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Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

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hen I was about 12 years old, I picked up my first true horror game: Silent

Hill 3.

The premise of horror games like Silent Hill 3 is usually based on a lone protagonist who runs around in an alternate (often bloody) world, trying to resolve some personal issues they have had in the past. Sometimes a local cult is involved too, but let’s not go too deep into that.

Seven years later, I picked up a game called Resident Evil 5. For you movie goers, don’t bother trying to match the films with the actual games themselves; the only thing they have in common is that both the games and movies goes down in quality as time goes on.

The original Resident Evil game was actually quite scary; zombies, monsters, limited resources, and a general sense of hopelessness followed me the first time I played the game. At any moment, I could be chewed up by a random monster and then get the blood filled “GAME OVER” screen. Given the series’ legacy, Resident Evil 5 disappointed me. It was not scary, nor was it horrorlike. It was an adventure game, going around and shooting people that didn’t resemble monsters.

You, the audience sitting comfortably at home, have probably at one point or another encountered a “horror” genre in some form of media.

Movies are the most popular way for the general public to encounter this, but gaming can be just as good.

After all, you can watch a three hour movie and leave the theatre knowing what the answers were, but a video game may never give you the “real” answers.

One can spend hours after beating the game for the first time trying to figure it out, reinterpreting the game over and over again. Yes, people do interpret game endings, just check online forums.

COURTESY OF Gamerblast

The recently released game Amnesia: The Dark Descent is a prime example of a true horror game.

Before we move on, though, let me tell you what horror is not.

Horror is not a dog jumping out of a cabinet and causing you to jump.

Horror is not a man with a strange face coming at you slowly with a knife.

Horror is not a black screen with a flashing light, and horror is definitely not a weird monster that might just be looking for a hug.

Horror is done well when it is subtle, or when you’re least expecting it. It’s an element in the game that doesn’t flash itself around like a stripper. More importantly, horror remains a mystery. If I tell you the answer to a riddle, it’s not really fun to solve that riddle anymore. This is the essence of horror games.

Silent Hill 3, a game released in 2003, is far superior to Resident Evil 5, released in 2009. Most of you would probably say that the graphical and technological upgrades would by default put Resident Evil 5 in the higher standing by default. I would disagree. Technology can enhance the experience, or it can just simply be a crutch that creators rely on to justify a truly bad game. Resident Evil 5 is the latter.

Another example, with which you could interact, is a game recently released called Amnesia: The Dark Descent. What makes this a true horror game is the fact that you never really are sure of what’s happening.

The lighting in the game creates a sense of mystery in the environment you explore. Best yet, you don’t have any idea of how to kill the enemies that follow you. In fact, you can’t.

These elements make for a really good horror game.

A lot of what I said above can be like watching a movie. Imagine watching a horror flick where the scenes occur in brightly lit rooms with the monsters in full sight. You wouldn’t be scared, startled, maybe, but not scared. You’d probably sit there, cursing the director for making such a horrible movie. If that movie isn’t scary, then it’s not a horror movie. It’s just a normal movie with a protagonist filled with obstacles and ways of avoiding getting eaten.

It’s nothing new, it’s just bland, and you wished you spent your money on something else. Now replace the word “movie” with “video game.”

Well that’s exactly how a gamer feels.

Arts & Entertainment

Music Review

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

courtesy of canada connections

Lil Wayne I am not a Human Being Young Money

E

ven jail hasn’t been able to stop hip hop’s hottest artist, Lil Wayne, from putting out a new album. I Am Not A Human Being is Lil Wayne’s first new offering of rhymes since the Grammy nominated Tha Carter 3 in 2008, and not counting the failed experimental rock album Rebirth earlier this year. The hype continues to grow around the 28-year-old, New Orleans native who will no doubt sell multi-platinum numbers with his latest album.

The question is: has Lil Wayne lived up to the reputation of “greatest rapper alive” placed on him by many fans? Hardly.

The problem with Lil Wayne, despite his talent in terms of flow and style, is that his lyrical content lacks substance and continuity. Most of the songs on the album do not have a clearly defined lyrical theme or mood that is being presented, but merely just clever ways of Lil Wayne dissing haters and asserting his coolness. This almost gives off an air of desperation

that shows Lil Wayne merely trying to demonstrate to his already loyal fan base that they have every reason to like him, rather than him rapping about issues of purpose and personal reflection that would gain him a new audience.

Despite the many flaws of the album and of Lil Wayne in general, he does have exceptional talent for making sexuallythemed songs. It seems that the only time Lil Wayne can create a lyrically woven story is when it involves women. Of all the garbage tracks on the album, “I’m Single” stands out as an exceptional song providing all the swagger and bravado to be expected from a hip hop story.

Wayne describes a jealous and invasive girlfriend whom he escapes for a night of debauchery; “We both say we single, and we both lyin’. We both feel wrong, but it feel right. Put your hands up if you single for the night.”

If Lil Wayne was able to craft songs in a lyrically structured and relevant manner as he has done with “I’m Single,” he could reach the full potential he has clearly shown in his talent for putting together clever displays of wordplay. The problem is that this album plays out as if Wayne is too content with impressing fans with one liners, rather than creating whole songs that fans can appreciate and analyze on an emotional level. Until then, Lil Wayne remains the Seinfeld of rap; successfully putting together albums of songs about nothing.

— Rob Saavedra

THE NFB IS COMING TO KITCHENER-WATERLOO TO CONNECT WITH YOU AND YOUR COMMUNITY.

Movie Review

courtesy of imdb

RED Robert Schwentke di Bonaventura Pictures

W

e might be too young to recognize names like Marlene Dietrich, Mae West and Stan Laurel, but we are certainly old enough to know and love Hollywood stars like Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren. La crème de la crème of the golden coast has gathered in this loveable, intense and excruciatingly fun film.

Willis, with less hair but just as much edge, shows us a hero who can’t seem to cope with retirement. Malkovich, on the other hand, keeps a common persona in the movie; a paranoid genius who is as courageous and smart as he is foolish and unreasonable. Freeman also keeps a somewhat familiar char-

acter playing a likeable, happy man who brings some wisdom to the team.

Yet, he adds some guns and a bomb here and there (definitely something that would go in my Bucket List). Mirren goes from blue blood to bright, rich and spilling red. The Queen now plays a professional assassin who is as fashionable as she is deadly.

Frank (Willis), Joe (Freeman), Marvin (Malkovich) and Victoria (Mirren) are ex-CIA agents who belonged to a high-end team back in the day. Now, after retirement, they find out that the secrets they know about the agency now make them its most wanted target. Seeking the truth about who wants them dead, the team comes back together in a mission for their own lives. The spice to this cliché action movie is that, as we all know, these Hollywood superstars are not

forgotten, but certainly a bit rusty.

Retired and Extremely Dangerous, or RED, these old friends take on the ambitious goal of breaking into the CIA, finding out who is behind this operation, and ensuring their own safety. But the mission might turn into a bigger bite than they can chew, and they are going to need, as Marvin said in the movie, “some serious help.”

Like always, there is a spot for love in this movie. In this case it’s very interesting how they contrast old love to new love, the charm of old darlings with the excitement of a flourishing romance; definitely a pleasant pinch of chick-flick to add to the action.

This must be the first time in my cinematic life I see the concept of action-comedy successfully applied.

Plot and special effects are taken seriously, fights are well choreographed; and as a whole the frame is a great action movie. Equally, characters are designed to make us laugh from the moment the title comes up to when the credits roll.

This is a movie of old people, who get to laugh at their own shortcomings, and we get to laugh twice as hard at their struggle. In a few words, what makes this movie so amusing and unique, as said by Joe, is that these fabulous agents are “Dead? No, not dead… just retired.”

— Carla Valerio

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News

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Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

Council candidates seek

Municipal election day is October 25

Order in Northdale

How to vote: • Voters must be Canadian citizens over the age of 18; • Voters must bring a valid form of ID that shows their name and an eligible address (e.g. Ontario license or health card); • Eligible voters living on campus can vote at the SLC; • Those living off campus must check the following website to find out where to cast their ballot:

Alcina wong

Ryan Webb

Using a planning map for emphasis, Ward 6 candidate Mike Connolly warned that problems associated with Northdale were spreading into other neighbourhoods.

Jacqueline McKoy Lambert senior staff reporter

W

hether they see it as a hub of studentincited disarray or a neighborhood in transition, candidates and voters all have opinions on Northdale.

The residential area bound by University Avenue, King Street, Albert Street, and Columbia Street has experienced a demographic shift from owner-occupiers to primarily students. That change — rife with deteriorating housing, safety, and bylaw enforcement — has spurred a call for action from residents and local politicians.

In June, Waterloo City Council voted on initiating a land use study to examine how to best rehabilitate Northdale. Proceedings on the study are progressing, albeit slowly. Across the city, candidates are unified in their support for a new vision for Northdale, but they have varying perspectives on how exactly to manage students living in a divided city.

Close to home: The Ward 6 candidates Ward 6 council hopefuls are divided in their view of how students should fit into a renewed Northdale, and into the city in general. Candidate Anne Crowe spoke out against the state of the student presence in Northdale at a council meeting in June, prior to her candidacy. While at a recent Town Hall she suggested that, “We have a culture in Northdale which is the lowest common denominator of student behaviour... the five per cent is becoming the norm.” Despite those statements, Crowe advocates for a mix of student- and owner-occupied housing.

Ed Korschewitz notes that university towns have trouble integrating “Two different communities... [and] different sets of community values.” Asserting that “The planning that has gone into [Northdale] has provided unaffordable, unsafe housing,” and suggested student-related problems have spread into the wider community making it difficult for all residents to find appropriate housing.

However, he does support amenity-rich intensification with a focus on creating a student- and young professional-appropriate community. “There’s always going to be students, they’re always going

to have their parties, give them a space to do that,” Korschewitz said.

Mike Connolly focused on the city’s allowing illegal lodging houses and a lack of bylaw enforcement as the major factors in Northdale’s decline. He asserted that “We should try to do something for the people who are still there,” including providing them with lodging licenses so they have the option of leaving the area. While he suggested making Northdale into a “student precinct,” he expressed disbelief that businesses would find students an appropriately attractive demographic to justify setting up shop in an intensified Northdale.

Jeff Henry, when describing what a future Northdale should look like, said that “We wouldn’t continue to put up more five-bedroom, cramped apartments with no amenities.” He advocates for working with the universities and the students, not just the residents. A key point of his discussion was to use university-led development as an “anchor” to draw further investment.

In terms of handling student rowdiness in Northdale, Henry noted that it would be important to “Reverse standards...and reduce the incentive to violate some of the standards.” In describing the ideal student-permanent resident relationship, he suggested that it’s no different from parenting.

“If you don’t respect them, they won’t respect you back,” he said

Neighbouring ward: The view from Uptown During their debate hosted by the Waterloo Voters Support Commitee, the Ward 7 candidates weren’t asked about Northdale specifically, but they were asked about how to maintain harmony between residents and students in Waterloo.

Erin Epp, a current WLU student and former Northdale resident pinned much of the problem on absentee landlords. She hopes to make sure that students are educated about their rights as tenants.

“They are getting taken advantage of,” she said.

Melissa Durrell supports rezoning the area for mixed-used buildings that feature businesses on the bottom and condos on the top. Much like other candidates in her ward, she supports further partnership with the universities.

Edwin Laryea believes that the city needs to empower students by creating a first response team of both students and residents to handle problems. He also supports shifting the responsibility of maintaing good student citizenship to the universities.

Duncan McLean notes increased bylaw enforcement and increased police presence during what he reffered to as “problem times.”

UW political science Prof. Peter Woolstencroft said that it is important to find a way for students to understand that they have to appreciate their community. He cited the increasing number of students in the area as presenting a problem, and, like Laryea, suggested that the universities should take greater control over the situation.

Noel Butler spoke in support of intensification and increased housing standards. “The most outrageous failure of planning in this city is Northdale,” he said.

Mayoral candidates seek balance Waterloo’s four mayoral candidates all show support for bringing change to Northdale ­— but they don’t share the same views on how students fit into Waterloo’s residential neighborhoods.

Dale Ross’ solution is to reconsider developing a student residential campus near Seagram Stadium.

“The students want to live as close to the universities as possible, so they don’t have to rely on public transportation... and the residents basically don’t want to live in a student population,” he argued.

Incumbent mayor Brenda Halloran’s is similar, in that she looks towards creating a pedestrian-friendly “Whistler Village for students.” D’Ailly’s hopes for Northdale’s future suggested that it is no longer going to be the traditional suburban neighbourhood.

D’Ailly, who voted in favour of the Northdale land use study this past summer, spoke in favour of mixed-use intensification.

The Town and Gown Association of Ontario’s candidate survey recieved responses from mayoral candidates Halloran and Franklin Ramsoomair.

Halloran chose not to directly reference solutions for Northdale and student housing in general, but Ramsoomair focused his responses to the questions on the area. His solution to remedying Northdale’s

issues is to bring permanent residents and students together on a regular basis. He vows to “handle this aspect personally” if elected mayor.

Ramsoomair has vowed to set a tight timeline for cleaning up Northdale. Medium-density development and intensified land use play a role in his vision, as well as legislation to force new lodging houses to have on-site landlords.

Waterloo planning students weigh in Last week, the Waterloo Students Planning Advisory (WSPA) group released responses to a questionnaire it conducted, grading each candidate on their answers to questions on their urban planning outlook.

The three mayoral candidates who responded — D’Ailly, Halloran, and Ramsoomair — all received Bs for their answers to “How would you reinforce the city as not only a place to work or study, but to live in as a resident as well?” and “How do you balance the competing lifestyles of students and more permanent residents?”

Ward 6’s most successful candidate in the WSPA survey was Jeff Henry, who earned the only A in the ward for the first question and one of two Bs for the second. WSPA’s comments on Anne Crowe’s responses noted that while her comments focused on Northdale’s issues, “...zoning the students out will not solve the problem.”

Ward 7’s Erin Epp and Melissa Durrell earned the highest grades for the first question. Epp also held the front-runner position for the second question, along with Edwin Laryea.

Reflecting on the survey, planning student and WSPA president, Mackenzie Keast, suggested that built form should not be justified by someone as a way to dictate another’s behavior. While his group focuses on urban planning policy and advocacy, he is personally skeptical that housing alone will encourage responsible citizenship.

While Keast felt that student input, from WSPA or otherwise, was welcome, he noted that “The concerns in the area are coming from the overwhelming minority - the permanent residents.” jmckoy@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Julia Peters

http://e-services.waterloo. ca/Voting_Station_Lookup. aspx

Candidates for Mayor of Waterloo

imprint intern

Jan d’Ailly

Brenda Halloran

Jan d’Ailly has lived in Waterloo for the past 20 years. He completed a BA in Honours economics at McGill University, and he received his MBA in 1987 from the Richard Ivey School of Business.

He has 20 years of business experience (including employment at General Electric and Babcock and Wilcox), as well as memberships with many organization in the community. During his career he has worked in Australia, South Africa and Taiwan, which has allowed him to experience in other cultures.

In addition to serving as Ward 6 councillor, D’Ailly is also an avid sailor.

Brenda Halloran is the current mayor of Waterloo.

In January 2008, she established the Mayor’s Student Advisory Council that is composed of local university and college students who volunteer and work together with local business to help enrich the Waterloo community.

Halloran has been awarded with the WLU Woman of Resistance Award in 2005, received the CCRA Award of Excellence in 2002, was nominationed for the KW Oktoberfest Women of the Year Award in the community service category. She is currently a member of the International Women’s Forum of Canada.

Franklin Ramsoomair

Dale Ross

Having obtained his PhD from the University of Toronto, Franklin Ramsoomair is currently a professor of management science He has been presented with several awards including the Bob Marley 2010 Humanitarian Award for his work in Education, the Most Outstanding Reviewer award from the Emerald Literati Society in May 2008, three Best Paper Awards at adacademic conferences and seven major local and international teaching awards.

He is also currently a memory of the Editorial Advisory Boards of The “Journal of Internet Research” and the “Journal of Campus Wide Information Services”.

Dale Ross has resided in Waterloo for most of his life. He has an honours degree in economics and an MBA from Wilfrid Laurier University.

He is also currently on the Advisory Board for their Supply Chain Research Centre. In addition to teaching supply chain courses part time in the MBA program at Laurier, Dale has also been known to take on the role of a mentor to newcomers to Canada in order to give them valuable insight into the needs of the work place.

He is currently working with the Canadian Standards Association to ensure that the work force has the skills required by industry.

Candidate photos by Ryan Webb

Features Protein: 50g Sugar: 1g Fiber: 0g

Carbohydrates: 17g

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010 features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Fat

30g Saturated: 8.2g Trans: 0.5g

Weighing the Dinh Nguyen features editor

T

here’s a new epidemic in town.

Since its debut six months ago in the U.S., the KFC Double Down has generated much hype. Newly released as a promotional fast-food item in Canada (Oct. 18), this phenomena, which is comprised of a “secret sauce,” and two pieces of cheese and bacon sandwiched between a pair of fried chicken fillets, has generated much discussion.

“It’s not something that we have discussed, but it’s certainly something we may look at and review,” said Health Promotion Minister, Margarett Best, to reporters. Best later double backed on her response in a statement issued by her office. “I wish to reiterate that there are no plans to review the availability of any food products in Ontario ... Consumers have the right to choose the food they wish to purchase.”

University of British Columbia’s food nutrition professor, Susan Barr, believes that the Double Down is a health risk.

“The [amount of] sodium is extraordinarily high,” she told the Globe and Mail. “There’s almost no room to eat other food.”

At 1740mg per serving, the Double Down contains 116 per cent of the recommended daily intake of sodium. Overconsumption of sodium in the long run may contribute to high blood pressure which can result in strokes and other cardiovascular diseases.

KFC Canada recognizes that high sodium intake may be unappealing to its customers, but

“

“

continues to include a large amount of compound in their products. On their website, there is an icon that leads to their acknowledgement of the negative perception associated with large amounts of sodium in food. It reads as follows: “Watching your sodium? We are too. In fact, in the past year, we’ve reduced the sodium in our Original Recipe chicken by more than 20 per cent, while still maintaining our delicious KFC trademark taste of 11 herbs and spices.”

Despite KFC’s statement, the Canadian version of the Double Down contains almost 400mg more sodium than its American counterpart. KFC U.S. offers a Double Down that contains only 1380mg of sodium, and a “healthier” alternative which has 1430mg of sodium but uses grilled chicken fillets instead.

Vice-President of KFC Yum! Restaurants’ (which operates KFC) public relations company, Debra Quinn, told Imprint that a difference in taste is the reason why the U.S. and Canadian Double Down are so distinct. “The Double Down created for Canada is uniquely created for Canadians. It features pepper jack cheese. This is Canadian so KFC creates what they feel suits Canadian taste buds,” she said.

“We’ve been transparent about [the Double Down] nutritional values. It is not something that should be eaten every day.”

Despite the high amount of sodium, the KFC Double Down is only mediocre on the scale of unhealthy foods when compared to other fast-food favourites. “The chicken fillets (buns) are supposed to be quite healthy,” said KFC employee Yancy Trujillo.

“It is the most filling item on our menu.”

“We’ve been transparent about [the Double Down] nutritional values. It is not something that should be eaten every day.”

KFC`s Double Down Two pieces of bacon and pepperjack cheese sandwiched by a pair of fried chicken fillets.

Nutritional Value Dinh Nguyen

Calories:

540g Fat: 30g

Sodium:

1740mg

Features

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

Double Down

Courtesy AP

KFC paid college girls $500 per day to wear pants with the name Double Down across the butt.

At 540 per serving, the Double Down contains just as many calories as a McDonald’s BigMac but has fewer grams of fat. The Wendy’s Baconator is noted to have 610 calories, 35g of fat and 1,130 mg of sodium, while Burger King’s Triple Whopper contains close to 1,250 calories, 84 g of fat and 1,600 mg of sodium.

What separates the Double Down from other fast-food items is its hype. “Canadians have been calling and begging KFC to bring [the Double Down] to Canada for months,” said Quinn. While KFC has a Facebook fan site of their own that challenges people to “Take Down the Double Down” many Facebook groups have been created by fans to honour the sandwich. Though it is only has 80 group members, there is even a Facebook group titled “Bring the KFC Double Down to Canada.”

Before its debut in Canada, news reports of KFC’s advertisement technique for the product fueled the Double Down excitement.

“It’s hard to imagine anyone escaped the buzz of the Double Down,” KFC honcho John Cywinski told MTV. “But in an effort to reach consumers coast-to-coast, and especially our key target of young men, we’ve established yet another advertising first — one that’s fitting of the Double Down’s head-turning history.”

While KFC advertises the Double Down differently in Canada, they pay students in the U.S. to advertise for them. As reported by the Consumerist, KFC is currently dishing out $500 per day to young women at Colorado State University, Indiana University, and James Madison University to wear tight sweat pants with the name Double Down written across the seat. These women then hand out $5 coupons to passersby.

The Double Down hype has even sparked some fandom of its own. Soon after the release of the Double Down concept, fans were quick to create their versions of unhealthy, male-oriented sandwiches. One creation that has gone viral is the McGangbang — a sandwich within a sandwich created for people who cannot afford a BigMac. It is constructed completely from McDonald’s dollar menu: two cheeseburgers and a junor chicken.

KFC executives have yet to comment on the fandom created by the hype. The Double Down is currently only a promotion in Canada.

Like most of KFC’s promotion items, it will only be available for six weeks. The Double Down is scheduled to be on sale until the November 14. Depending on its popularity after, KFC may or may not decide to turn it into a permanent menu item.

Calories

540

17

Sodium

Cholesterol

1740mg

150mg

Imprint took the opportunity to create our own fandom sandwich. The Imprint Double Down McThreeWay tasted better than each individual sandwich it was made from. The saltiness was balanced out by the bread and ketchup. The dry chicken was complemented by moist patties.

— dnguyen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

McDonald’s BigMac®

Triple Whopper® with Cheese

Imprint’s Double Down McThreeWay

Two beef patties, processed cheese and a top, bottom, and middle bun.

Three pieces of processed meat patties, buns, and cheddar cheese.

Two McDonald’s cheeseburger, one junoir chicken, and a Double Down. A gender inclusive McGangbang taken to the next level.

Nutritional Value

Nutritional Value

Nutritional Value

Cal: 540g Fat: 45g Sodium: 1020mg

Calories: 1250g Fat: 85g Sodium:

1600mg

Calories:

1440g Fat: 66g Sodium: 3390mg

18

Features

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

Here, There, Everywhere Weird and funny news from around the world

Arizona The vampire craze continues to escalate in Chandler, Arizona.

After he refused to let them suck his blood, 21-year-old

Courtesy TBO

Duda Farm Fresh Foods has created a red-coloured celery.

Kathy Zhu reporter

U.S. An American charity named “Project Prevention” is offering to pay

drug addicts in the UK 200 pounds to be sterilized.

Barbara Harris started the charity after adopting the children of an addict. Project Prevention aims to reduce the number of babies born with drug or alcohol addictions due to their parents’ habits.

The project, which is funded by donations from the public, is avail-

able in London, Glasgow, Bristol, Leicester, and Wales.

A 35-year-old heroin addict has already accepted the offer. “It was something I had been thinking about for a long time… I won’t be able to support a kid: I can just about manage to support myself,” he told BBC. However, this idea has met with criticism in the UK for exploiting the drug addicts at the lowest point of their lives. "It doesn't deal with addicts who are already parents, it doesn't help people recover, and it doesn't offer any kind of positive solution," said Simon Antrobus, chief executive of British drug and alcohol charity, Addaction.

Amanda Williamson and 24-year-old Aaron Homer stabbed their roommate, 25-year-old Robert Maley.

The couple practice vampirism and paganism. Maley had allowed them to suck his blood on previous occasions, but he did not agree on that particular Monday, which led to the stabbing.

Homer told officers that he was enraged when he felt that Maley was making fun of his religion.

"These people...practice paganism and vampirism and follow the vampire cult," comments Joe Favazzo, sergeant of the Chandler police department.

Firefighters were at the apartment complex on an unrelated call when they saw Maley run out of the apartment covered in blood. They immediately alerted the police.

The police officers that were present at the scene reported a trail of blood leading to the apartment. Williamson initially claimed that she was attacked

by Homer, and later stabbed him in self-defense. However, Homer and Williamson made contradicting claims, and both later confessed to the police.

This event shows a disturbing side effect of the vampire craze in our media. Sgt. said Favazzo, “We have young people that are very impressionable that are following...this vampire culture...and they're going to get infections, it's dangerous.”

There have been other reports of fish leaping out of the water and biting boaters reported in Florida.

Florida

What if your apples were blue and your blueberries were yellow? That’s not a far-fetched idea, at least not for Duda Farm Fresh Foods in the U.S. They’ve taken the first steps to this implausible idea in creating a literal rainbow of fruits and vegetables.

A 45-year-old woman was bitten on the chest by a leaping barracuda while kayaking with a

companion near Big Pine Key in Miami, Florida.

The woman suffered a punctured lung and broken ribs. She was evacuated by boat and was lifted to the hospital by helicopter on the evening of Oct. 17.

The barracuda, which is a sleek and swift fish with sharp teeth, was reportedly about four feet long. It was previously seen skipping across the water, and knocked the woman out of the kayak when it hit her in the chest. She climbed back into the kayak and her companion called for help on her mobile phone.

Cpt. Kevin Freestone, owner of TowBoat U.S. and one of the rescuers, said that she had a pretty bad chest wound. “She was conscious, and she was scared about what had happened to her.”

Jessica Cheung Reporter

Minneapolis

Duda Farm Fresh Foods unveiled their red-coloured celery to the world at the Fresh Summit Trade Show in Orlando

on Oct. 16. The red-coloured celery, being sold under the brand name of “Celery Sensations,” was developed by the company through the cross breeding of an old-world celery root, and our everyday generic vegetable.

According to the farmers, the red celery tastes relatively the same as regular celery--perhaps with a milder taste. If the colour of fruits and vegetable can be modified and sold, what implication might this have on the orange?

— With Files from BBC, AZfamily, Cnews, and TBO Know any personal ghost stories? Submit to our helloween issue. features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

POSTGRADUATE CERTIFICAT ES Financial Planning Global Business Management Human Resources Management International Development International Marketing Marketing Management Public Administration

business.humber.ca

Features

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

19

A foreign adjustment: Surviving culture shock araw@mprint.uwaterloo.ca

S

everal weeks into my exchange in Singapore, there was only one thing I wanted to do: pack my bags and get on the first plane home. I woke up in the morning and dreaded getting out of bed. I was anxious and frustrated with everything.

There was a constant litany in my head: “I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home right now.”

I honestly can’t tell you what the catalyst was for my persistent desire to abandon my exchange and flee to the familiarity of home.

There was nothing wrong in my life at the time.

I just desperately wanted to go home.

What I felt isn’t unique or rare. It’s called culture shock and everyone living in an unfamiliar culture feels it to some degree. Culture shock is a subjective experience, so it’s difficult to convey in the form of meaningful statistics. Every individual experiences culture shock differently; the severity, duration, and symptoms are unique in each case.

Culture shock has four general stages.

The honeymoon stage: As the name implies, during the honeymoon stage, you see everything as romantic and exciting.

Though you notice the differences, you generally see them as quaint and interesting. For me, this stage lasted about a week and a half. Then I tried to set up a bank account, buy a SIM card, and navigate the immigration process.

The negotiation stage: For me this stage started only a few weeks into my exchange but for many it takes months to develop. This is when the shine and the excite-

ment of the exchange, wear off. Differences stop becoming fun and start being frustrating.

Unfamiliar languages, food, laws, and behaviours cause anxiety and frustration. This stage is where experiences differ the most. Some people find the anxiety and frustration to be minor annoyances, while many find it debilitating. It depends on your own temperament and how wide the gap is between your home culture and the unfamiliar one.

The adjustment stage: This is the make-or-break stage for anyone living in a foreign culture. If you’re capable of adjusting, the difficulties, anxieties, and frustrations of previous weeks are replaced by routines and a growing understanding of and appreciation for the differences. If you’re not capable of adjusting, you either suffer through the remainder of your time in the foreign culture or you abandon your trip and head home. I found myself fortunate enough to belong to the group of people that was capable of adjusting. Not all exchange students are as lucky.

The mastery (or bicultural) stage: Mastery comes when you feel you can interact completely within the new cultural environment.

You don’t necessarily have to completely convert to the new culture, but to have mastery is to be comfortable in almost every element of the environment. This can take months or even years to accomplish.

I don’t anticipate mastering the Singaporean culture before I leave, but the longer I’m here, the

easier it is to envision the possibility of becoming an integrated member of this society. When UW’s exchange program advisors briefed the outgoing exchange students on culture shock and integration over the summer, I imagined that my experience in Singapore would be much like that of a tourist. I never really considered that I would begin to feel like a part of this culture.

Except in the vaguest “That’s not going to happen to me” sense.

As an individual experience, culture shock can be a test of how open-minded, adaptable, and willing to make an effort to belong you are. The individual experience of culture shock can also be an analogy for broader cultural encounters around the world.

It may seem that the mere existence of culture shock is evidence of how much of a global community we aren’t.

However, understanding and experiencing culture may be necessary for shaping the positive global community we aspire to. Culture shock only comes when we’ve spent enough time in a foreign environment for the shiny newness of it to wear off and for us to see its depths. It isn’t until we get to the adjustment and mastery stages that we truly appreciate what it means to be a part of the culture: what’s unique about it, why it works the way it does, the value in the differences.

Culture shock makes us think. It makes us really look at the world, instead of just seeing it.

It wasn’t until I was going through the stage of anxiety and frustration and desperately wishing for home that I really began to look at the intricacies of Singaporean culture. I’ve experienced living in a country with a different structure of

government (The Economist’s Democracy Index classifies Singapore as a hybrid regime, in contrast to Canada’s classification as a full democracy) and different priorities of public discourse (the status and integration of migrant workers is a big issue in Singapore). And it’s been interesting experiencing national identity and community in a country that I can completely cross in less than an hour on the subway.

Most importantly, to overcome culture shock we must make an active effort to engage and understand the different culture we find ourselves in. I combated my culture shock by accepting an invitation to hang out for the afternoon with a group of Singaporean students, throwing myself headfirst into residence activities, eating and shopping away from tourist areas, and staying up-to-date on the local news.

On a global scale, culture shock defines much of the interactions between cultures; there is tension and frustration and anxiety because we can’t seem to get past the difficulties of the negotiation stage. Much like individuals do when stricken by culture shock while travelling, living, learning, or working in another country, the global community must combat culture shock by making a conscious effort to adjust to foreign cultures.

That one week so early in my exchange, when running for home was constantly on my mind, was the worst week I spent in Singapore. But despite the unpleasantness, I’m very glad that I experience it. If I hadn’t lived through the frustration, homesickness, and anxiety, I never would have forced myself to adjust to Singaporean culture. And that adjustment has been making all the difference in the value I’m getting from this experience.

ALLOWEEN HSUPERSTORE

LESS THAN 5 min FROM UW

Waterloo

12 University Ave 519.725.6777 Corner of King and University (beside 7 eleven)

Mississauga 2640 SouthSheridan Way 905.855.7817

Campus Bulletin UPCOMING EVENTS October 2010 Rotunda Gallery presents “Forlorn Factories: Found Beauty in Kitchener’s Industrial Landscapes” by Brian Douglas from October 1 to 31. Reception October 7 from 5 to 7 p.m. For more info 519-741-3400, ext. 3381.

Saturday, October 23, 2010 “An Evening For Matangwe” – join us for an evening of dancing, steel drums, food, silent auction, etc at the Kitchener Portuguese Club. For more info www.caringpartners.com.

Sunday, October 24, 2010 Homer Watson House & Gallery presents: Halloween Family Fun Day at Homer’s Haunted House. Families are invited from 1 to 4 pm to try out their costumes, carve pumpkins, and participate in spooky activities! For admission and registration information, visit www.homerwatson.on.ca Thursday, October 28, 2010 Film Society is showing films from countries whose films are rarely seen in Canada. Second screening, “Melodies of the Vera Quarter (Veris Ubnis Meoldiebi)”, (1973), 96 min., dir. Georgiy Shengalaya, is at 7pm, East Campus Hall Auditorium, 1220. Free admission.

November 2010 ACCKWA’s Online Charity Auction from November 1 to 9 on ebay.ca or ebay.com – search “acckwa”. Great items just in time for the holidays!

For more info call Colleen at 519-5703687, ext 334. rare Charitable Research Reserve presents “November Community Events” at the rare Administration Centre, 1679 Blair Road, Cambridge. For information and registry, contact info@ raresites.org or 519-650-9336 ext. 125 or visit www.raresites.org.

Rotunda Gallery presents “North Shore, Snaige Sileika” from November 1 to 30 at 200 King Street, W., Kitchener. For more info 519-741-3400, ext 3381.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010 Graduating soon? Need to start thinking about paying back your student loans? Please join us for the National Student Loans Centre’s OSAP Repayment Sessions at Student Life Centre, Multi-Purpose Room, 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. and 12 to 1 p.m. For more info safa.uwaterloo.ca.

Saturday, November 13, 2010 Christmas Craft and Bake Sale: Vendors offering unique items. Christian

books, jewelry, scrap booking, knitting, woodworking, and homemade baked items. Lunch available. Free admission 8 am to 2 pm, Messiah Lutheran Church, Waterloo. For more info, call 519-884-3849.

Towards A Peaceful Economy: Looking at the global financial crisis and working on local alternatives. Keynote speaker Paul Hellyer. 9:30 am to 4:30 pm, Kitchener City Hall. RSVP by November 6: administrators@nonviolencefestival.com. For more info, visit www.nonviolencefestival.com.

Friday, December 10, 2010 The Sexuality, Marriage, and Family Studies department presents the Second Annual SMF Symposium, St. Jerome’s University. Proposal for papers or poster presentations addressing this year’s theme, “Ethical Intersections: Research, Theory, and Practice,” accepted now. For further info, visit www. smfsymposium.ca or email Jenn Wunder at jenn@smfsymposium.ca.

VOLUNTEERING Volunteer with a child at their school and help improve their self-esteem and confidence. Call Canadian Mental Health at 519-744-7645, ext. 229.

City of Waterloo has volunteer opportunities. For info call 519-8886478 or www.waterloo.ca/volunteer.

The Distress Centre needs volunteers to provide confidential, supportive listening on our crisis and distress lines. Complete training provided. Call 519-744-7645, ext. 300.

Volunteer Action Centre, 519-7428610 / volunteer@volunteerkw.ca, for all your volunteering needs!

Volunteers needed – The English Tutor program is in constant need of volunteers to tutor international students. Volunteering is an essential part of student life at UW. Apply online at www.iso.uwaterloo.ca.

Volunteer required to rebuild website for Kitchener International Children’s Games Chapter. Call 519-886-6918 and leave message or respond to icgkitchener@hotmail.com.

UW RECREATION EVENTS

Wednesday, November 24: Feng Shui Discussion Group, MC 5136, 12 noon – all welcome.

Sunday, November 28: “Peter Pan Pantomime” at St. Jacobs Country Playhouse.

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010 ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Classified

UWRC Book Club, Wednesdays at 12 noon in LIB 407 - all welcome! October 20: “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert ; November 17: “To Kill A Mockingbird”

by Harper Lee ; December 21: “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” by Shaffer and Barrows.

Movie ticket discounts available from Empire Theatre, Galaxy, Princess. For more info for all the above email schatten@uwaterloo.ca or uwrc@uwaterloo. ca.

August 25-28: Waterloo Busker Carnival September 11: UpTown ?Dining October 9: 29th Annual Pancake Breakfast October 9: 32nd Annual Great Oktoberfest Barrel Race October 11: Thanksgiving Day Parade For more information about the above events call 519-885-1921 or email uptownwaterloobia@waterloo.ca or www. uptownwaterloobia.com.

$250 reward for the return of my watch. Lost Thursday, September 9 in or around Environment 1. Watch is metal with my name “Jeff” on the back. Huge sentimental value. Please email me at jcasello@uwaterloo.ca.

STUDENT AWARDS & FINANCIAL AID

CAREER SERVICES WORKSHOPS

SERVICES

Go to safa.uwaterloo.ca for a full listing of scholarships and awards.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010 Graduating soon? Need to start thinking about paying back your student loans? Please join us for the National Student Loans Centre’s OSAP Repayment Sessions at Student Life Centre, Multi-Purpose Room, 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. and 12 to 1 p.m. For more info safa.uwaterloo.ca.

ONGOING

Tuesdays CNIB Lions Low Vision Clinic - conducted to provide an opportunity for CNIB services and support, and access scheduled appointments with a CNIB Specialist. 9 am - 4 pm, 181 King St. S., Waterloo. For more info, visit www. cnib.ca.

UPTOWN WATERLOO BIA EVENTS 2010/11 November 2010: UpTown Waterloo BIA Annual General Meeting November 4-6: UpTown Waterloo Treasure Hunt Saturday, November 20: Santa Claus Parade November 2010: Holiday Open House December 2010: FREE Horse Drawn Trolley Rides December 2010: Victorian Carolers 2011 February 19: UpTown Waterloo Ice Dogs Festival March 10-12: UpTown Comedy Festival May: UpTown Waterloo Jazz Fundraiser June 18: UpTown Country July 15-17: UpTown Waterloo Jazz Festival

October 25, 2010 Academic Interview: This workshop is open only to 4th year, Masters, and PhD students. 12:00 PM - 1:30 PM, TC 2218.

Teaching Philosophy Statement: Learn to work on your own teaching philosophy with Trevor Homes. No prior experience necessary. 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM, TC 2218.

October 26, 2010 Writing CVs and Cover Letters: This workshop is open only to 4th year, Masters, and PhD students. 12:00 PM - 1:30 PM, TC 2218.

October 27, 2010 Information Session - Richard Ivey School of Business: If you’re looking for a dynamic, challenging, and transformational MBA experience, come and learn how Ivey prepares grads for long-term career success. 12:00 PM 2:00 PM, TC 1208.

Interview Skills - Preparing for Questions: Since the activities in this workshop build on the material presented in the Interview Skills online module of the Career Development eManual, you will need to complete the module at cdm.uwaterloo.ca before registering for this workshop.

October 28, 2010 Exploring Your Personality Type (Part II): Second session of a two-part workshop. Prerequisite: MBTI Part I. 2:30 PM - 4:30 PM,TC 1113.

Interview Skills - Selling Your Skills: Since the activities in this workshop build on the material presented in the online Interview Skills module of the Career Development eManual, you will need to complete the online module at cdm.uwaterloo.ca before registering for this workshop. 3:30 PM - 5:30 PM, TC 1208.

LOST

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Most sell for $5.00 each. ROCK & ROLL, CLASSIC ROCK, etc. Market Road Antiques - www.stjacobs. com ; Stratford Antique Warehouse www.stratfordantiquewarehouse. com (Both Open 7 days a week). 3rd location in St. Clements - contact us for more details. We also buy record collections. Bill and Cindy Dietrich: webuytunes77@rogers.com or 519699-5520 Does your thesis or major paper need a fresh pair of eyes to catch English spelling and grammar errors? Thesis English editing. Five business day turnaround.

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HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Human Resources, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2.

Sports & Living Warriors net two wins Friday

Guelph 4 at Waterloo 5

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010 sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Warriors women’s golf team wins OUA Championship

The Leafs and other oddities

Chester Yang reporter

Namish Modi asst sports & living

N

T

he Warriors hockey season is now in full swing after winning their home opener over the weekend. Waterloo’s men’s hockey team kicked off their four game home stand with a close but decisive 5–4 win against the visiting Guelph Gryphons.

“It was key for us to rebound from a disappointing loss at Lakehead.

As a team we know how important every game is due to such a short season,” said Warrior forward Kirt Hill. “Whenever you get back to back games at home you have to take advantage of the home ice, and it is always nice to win your home opener.”

The Warriors returned after splitting their season opening a pair of games at Lakehead last week.

“It’s always important to win as many games as possible since the season is so short,” said Warrior forward Kurt Thorner. “When we get down to the end of the season and are fighting for position in the standings, two points are crucial.”

Warriors got on the board first at 13:55 into the period as forward Kurt Thorner buried his second of the season. That lead was short lived as Guelph evened it up three minutes later courtesy of the Gryphons Matt Lyall.

The second period was much more physical. Warriors forward Jarrett Schnurr scored early in the second to give the Warriors a 2–1 lead. With a Guelph forward in the penalty box for roughing, Warriors captain Chris Ray extended the lead to 3–1.

The Gryphons would score two goals to rally from the 3–1 deficit.

“After the second period, it gave us a chance to relax and settle down a bit,” said Hill. “We got away from our game plan late in the second period and we knew to win the game we had to get back to our game plan and tighten up defensively.”

Waterloo did not let up in the third. Schnurr potted his second of the game on a late period power play to give the Warriors a 4–3 lead.

Courtesy steve brooks/UW Athletics

Tiffany Terrier won the individual title by shooting a 7-over-par, 151 and led the Warriors to a team championship.

Ron Kielstra Jr staff reporter

T

he Waterloo Warriors golf team finished a very successful season on a high note at the OUA Championships, held this past week at the Angus Glen Golf Club in Markham.

Waterloo won three OUA Championship banners, with Garrett Rank and Tiffany Terrier taking home the men’s and women’s individual championships respectively. The Warriors also took home the women’s team title and finished second in the men’s competition.

Terrier, a native of Kingston, Jamaica, came shot a combined 151 over two rounds to claim the Individual title by two strokes over the University of Toronto’s Laura Upenieks. Terrier came from behind to win, scoring an eagle on the 16th hole and Courtesy steve brooks/UW Athletics birdying the 17th to lift the Garrett Rank won the men’s individual four-time OUA All-Star to her banner_ad_v6.qxd:Layout 1 2510/19/10 10:44 AM Page 1 first Individual Championship.

See HOCKEY, page title shooting a 1-over-par,145.

Elmira native Rank took the men’s Individual title, finishing with a two-day total of 145.

Rank shot the sole round in the sixties with a 68 on Monday, followed by a 77 as he held on for a one-stroke victory. Rank performance also secured him a spot on the OUA’s first-team men’s all-stars and the Coach’s all-star team (selected by OUA coaches), awards that seem to indicate Rank’s hard work over the summer has paid off.

“I learned from the FISU (International University Sports Federation) games to stay in the moment with one shot at a time,” Rank said. “[Playing in] highly competitive tournaments gave me the experience I need to outlast the competition and my nerves.”

Terrier and Rank also paced the Warriors to strong team showings, with the women’s team going on to win Waterloo’s first ever Team Championship.

ow seems like as good a time as ever to jump on the Toronto Maple Leaf bandwagon. The Leafs look like a serious contender through the first half dozen games of the season and while it’s still early, they appear to be for real.

To the true fans out there it must be nice to see the Leafs on top for once.

However, can they seriously contend with Jean-Sebastien Giguere between the posts? He’s played well so far, largely in part to great defense but it’s hard to imagine him hoisting the Stanley Cup come June...

The salary cap in the National Hockey League, like most sports, is designed to level the playing field. hopefully resulting in better hockey and maximizing the amount of teams that have a chance to play meaningful hockey come spring. It’s a good idea, in theory, but in practice what happens is a team can accumulate a mass of young talent through good drafting and then when it comes time to resign their young stars they don’t have the cap space to keep them all.

Fairly certain that the cap was intended to stop teams from stockpiling free agents and not guard against a franchise building a solid base from within. Something to keep in mind...

The National Football League has finally stepped up and said it will issue suspensions to players aiming for the head or leading with the helmet on tackles, especially in the case of a defenseless receiver. This begs the question as to why it always takes an extreme example (see DeSean Jackson and Dunta Robinson) to get the league to take action. There is already a rule protecting the quarterback from hits to the head, why not everybody else?

It’ll be very interesting to see how this rule will be applied, would not want to be the first referee to make that call...

First Down...

It’s not rocket science as to why the League Championship Series are so good this year: the four best teams in the league are playing in them.

See GOLF, page 24

See RUNDOWN, page 22

ATHLETES OF THE WEEK PRESENTS...

THIS WEEK IN

ATHLETICS RECREATION AND

(M) HOCKEY

(W) FIELD HOCKEY (W) HOCKEY

OCTOBER 22 VS YORK LIONS 7:30 PM

OCTOBER 23 VS WESTERN MUSTANGS 10:00 AM

OCTOBER 23 VS BROCK BADGERS 2:00 PM

OCTOBER 23 VS WESTERN MUSTANGS 7:30 PM

VS U OF T VARSITY BLUES 4:00 PM

OCTOBER 24 VS GUELPH GRYPHONS 2:00 PM

CIF ARENA

OCTOBER 24 VS CARLETON RAVENS 10:45 AM ST. DAVID’S HS

CIF ARENA

CAITLIN

KURT

WOMEN’S RUGBY

MEN’S HOCKEY

MARTIN

THORNER

Sports & Living

22

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

Rundown: Leafs and other Oddities Continued from page 21

Baseball is not like basketball, hockey or football and if this year doesn’t illustrate the fact that less is more when it comes to playoffs than nothing will.

The Division Series is a waste of time and rarely must-see baseball. There are two ways to make the post season better; add another wild card or subtract the wild card and go back to two divisions in each league. That being said, subtracting teams from the playoffs is very unlikely to happen, since after all, it is a business and more playoffs mean more money...

The beauty of Major League Baseball that a lot of people are missing is that the National League and American League are two separate leagues. They aren’t just two conferences in the same league, and inter-league play (and free agency) has blurred that distinction. That’s what makes the all-star game such a shame, is that it could (and used to be) a compelling game pitting the best of both leagues against each other. Now it’s nothing more than a few days off from real baseball...

Seventh Inning Stretch...

Whether you’ve been watching Vladimir Guerrero since his Montreal Expos days, or you’re seeing him for the first time this post-season you’ve likely heard someone refer to him as a hacker when he is up to bat. This is a misnomer that needs to be cleared up. Hackers don’t have a career .383 on base percentage nor do they have less than 1,000 strikeouts in over 8,000 career plate appearances coupled with over 700 walks.

The reason he is sometimes labeled a hacker is because his swing zone is so much larger than the average player.

He can reach any part of the plate and then some. That, in addition to his huge swings and lack of batting gloves (classy) gives people the idea that he is just up there swinging.

If you watch him closely Guerrero actually has a very impressive strikezone awareness; the pitches that he swings at he recognizes as pitches he can hit; most of which other hitters cannot. There is a reason why he is a career .320 hitter and is a first ballot hall of famer...

Overtime...

A confused hat tip to anyone still following the ATP season. Most people probably packed it in after the US Open. Maybe in other parts of the world tennis season is still raging (doubtful) but with the NHL, NBA, and NFL starting, not to mention MLB playoffs nobody in North America is paying attention to tennis anymore.

Less is more, people, less is more...

Obligatory Cliff Lee mention.

Everything has been said by everyone else already, but he warrants inclusion even in the most artificial way...

Turned on the TV last Thursday and found a college football game on (USF and West Viriginia). Why the NCAA feels the need to have a Thursday night game is unknown. Friday night is understandable but Thursday night is overkill. Unnecessary...

Shout out of the Week: If you are a fan of the NFL (casual or hardcore) and you don’t read Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback (si.com), start. It’s a weekly must-read, especially if you slept through Sunday afternoon and missed all of the games. jsmith@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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05/10/2010 11:26:31 AM

Agents paying college athletes: A shady business Andrew Arevalo staff reporter

I

n case you haven’t heard, Sports Illustrated recently conducted an interview with a former sports agent Josh Luchs. He revealed that for years he paid college football players before they signed their first professional contracts. Several players are said to have confirmed it with Sports Illustrated.

Luchs said he paid more than 30 players in the ‘90s including some of them who didn’t sign with him upon becoming professionals. Claims he paid Washington State Quarterback Ryan Leaf about $10,000 and though Ryan paid most of it back, Ryan himself hasn’t confirmed it. Jets wide receiver Santonio Holmes is also said to have taken money, but he denied these reports.

Several different players like Jonathan Ogden confirmed the account of the story. The story says that he wouldn’t take money but accepted Janet Jackson concert tickets. Keyshawn Johnson declined to take the money as did J.J. Stokes when he was at UCLA. Holmes, a former Ohio State Buckeye says Luchs is lying, but I’m sure it’s true. I mean Sports Illustrated surely checks this stuff before publishing it; you’re not going to run this and get a libel lawsuit. I’m shocked that more stories like this don’t come out.

I’ve never believed that it’s possible in college football, under the current system, to run a clean program and clean being perfect.

Just say this out loud, this is one of the things I usually touch upon in my rants, “Mostly poor kids, not allowed to work while under scholarship, with potential huge earnings in the horizon, offered cash right before their first big contract that they can pay back… wouldn’t you take it?” I mean, some kids are going to take that bait. To me it’s always been about “Stop blaming the kids entirely.” Now there is some culpability on the players, you have to be accountable for what you do, but make

the penalty harsher for the agents. Like, go after the drug dealer not the user.

There is going to be an endless supply of drug users. Why waste man hours chasing every dirt bag loser on the street that uses drugs? Kill the source.

Most college athletes don’t even want to go to college, many are forced to go to college because they want to be professional football players or basketball players. Maybe a kid at Duke wants to go to school more than a kid at Georgia, but it seems to me that a lot of these kids are football majors. So if you’re trying to go after each individual kid, it’s like chasing down drug users instead of the drug cartel.

If you don’t go to the ports in Los Angeles or to the ports in Miami and the ports in New York or New Orleans and stop drug cartels from putting drugs in our ports, you’re going to have drug users. Some kids just get slammed for this, like Holmes and Leaf. Poor kids, want a little scratch, with a huge payday in the horizon, they will pay it back, they don’t think anybody is going to find out…guess what? Some of them take scratch…what a shock.

I’ve always believed that if you want to stop cheating in college sports, you have to create real legislation, prison sentences, loss of licenses, make it a real crime in society. If it was a federal prison term you had to serve if you pay college athletes, it would end right there…it would all end right there! But instead every year I’m reading about a story like this that breaks the newswire.

If I would’ve grown up dirt poor, had no money, four years in college, not allowed to have a job because I’m under scholarship and somebody hands me a $1,000 dollars when I know I’m going to make $2.5 million in three weeks time…I’m taking the money.

Tim Brown had an interview with ESPN radio, and he told a great story.

He said he was at Notre Dame, he had no money, won the Heisman Trophy and was on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

He said he took the picture of himself with the Heisman Trophy on the cover

of Sports Illustrated to a Porsche dealer in South Bend, Indiana and said to the manager “I’m going to be rich, here is my note, can I have a Porsche.” And they gave it to him. He then paid it back after striking it big in the NFL. But here, you’re talking about young kids, majority of who are poor. It’s like getting a loan, it’s almost an illegal loan. If you want to stop illegal loans, go after the banks that are giving the illegal loans. Don’t go to starving people who have kids to feed, because people are going to do what they have to do to make money. Start blaming the bankers, don’t blame the consumer. Because if the bank didn’t offer it, the consumer doesn’t get any money. For the record, they are doing it right now, right now there are agents all over campuses. The story goes onto say that Holmes was taking money from an agent for years!

So unless you’re going to punish these agents, this stuff is just going to keep happening and happening. I was talking about this with a friend last week and apparently it was also talked about on Real Sports on HBO. It’s so ambiguous. USC has one guy who cheated and they take away 30 scholarships and try to ruin the program. Florida has got 30 guys who have been arrested, the NCAA doesn’t care.

If you worked at a company and the company had 30 people arrested within four years, people would turn to you and say “Dude, your company is a mess and its out of control.” If you had one guy who took money, people would come up to you and say “You’ve got a great company, though that one guy needs the boot.” At USC, one dude gone haywire and they tried to ruin the program. Florida has got 30 guys out of control, NCAA… crickets. The story by Sports Illustrated has been confirmed by some of the players. According to the story, the agent paid 30 guys between 1990– 1996 and I honestly believe that this still goes on today. aarevalo@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

23

Women’s rugby team to face Queens in semifinal matchup

Komal R. Lakhani/Imprint Archives

Midfielder Mohammed Aborig scored the only goal for the Warriors over the weekend. He is the leading scorer for Waterloo with four goals in 12 games.

Ron Kielstra Jr staff reporter

Chester Yang reporter

Men’s Soccer

McMaster 1,Waterloo 0 McMaster managed a tight 1-0 win against the visiting Warriors in their final home game for the season. Waterloo’s rookie goaltender RobMcMillan managed to stop eight of the nine shots he faced, but the one goal ultimately ended up being the winner as the McMaster goaltender Matthew Grant stopped all 10 shots he saw.

Guelph 3, Waterloo 1 Waterloo’s playoff hopes grow dimmer after a disappointing 3-1 loss to the visiting Gryphons in their final home game. Guelph opened the scoring in the 11th minute and increased the lead to 3-0 after two goals by midfielder Dena Lezady. Waterloo finally got on the board in the 82nd minute from midfielder Mohamed Aborig. Waterloo now sits at fifth in the standings with one game remaining. Windsor and Brock are one and four points back in the standings respectively with a game in hand.

Women’s Soccer

McMaster 4,Waterloo 0

McMaster midfielder Alicja Giftopoulos scored twice for the Marauders en route to a 4-0 shutout of the Warriors on Saturday afternoon. With the win, the Marauders move to 7-3-3 on the season for second place in OUA West while the lady Warriors needed a win in their next game to keep their playoff hopes alive.

Guelph 2, Waterloo 1 In what was a spirited and all-out offensive effort, the lady Warriors ultimately fell short, losing 2-1 to the Guelph Gryphons. Waterloo forward Elise Bingeman scores her first of the season, but it was not enough to overcome the Guelph attack. The loss eliminates the lady Warriors from playoff contention, and they will play out their last game against Wilfrid Laurier this Sunday at 1 p.m. at the WLU stadium.

Field Hockey

Waterloo 5, Carleton 0 Two wins over the weekend would dramatically help the Warriors’ playoff hopes as top five teams would make the playoffs. The Warriors opened the scoring within the first 10 minutes and extended it to 3-0 by halftime. Carleton stepped up the pressure in the second after Waterloo scored a quick fourth goal but was unable to crack the Waterloo defense. The win evened the Warriors record at 5-5 on the season.

Waterloo 2, McGill 1 Despite playing the fewest number of games so far, Waterloo had to wait until the last game of the day to take on McGill. McGill sat right behind Waterloo in the standings and attempted furiously to take the lead. Both defenses were on their game however, and the teams ended the first half tied at zero. Waterloo shook up its formation in the second and scored in the 50th minute from Courtney Bisch off a 2-on-1.

They then extended the lead to 2-0 fifteen minutes later from Kara Moro on a tipped shot and held on to the hard-fought 2-1 win.

The Warriors now sit at fifth in the standings but have at least one game in hand on each of the four teams ahead of them. They wrap up their season this weekend with games against Western, Toronto and Carleton.

Men’s Rugby

Queens 38, Waterloo 17 Queens took an early 14-0 in this game before the Warriors battled back. The two teams traded tries and Queens added a penalty goal to take a 24-14 lead into the break. Queens would stifle the Warrior offense in the second half as they only allowed a penalty goal while scoring two more tries of their own to end the game.

Waterloo 57, Wilfrid Laurier 7 In their final regular season game, Waterloo snapped its three-game losing streak by scoring early and often on the Goldenhawks to end their season on a winning note. Waterloo took advantage of the wind on the field and controlled the play in the first half by scoring 35 points.

With the win, the 3-5-1 Warriors look to finish their season with a bye week, setting up their quarterfinal match up with the Queen’s Golden Gaels on Oct. 30 in Kingston. rkielstra@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Courtesy steve brooks/UW Athletics

The Warriors defeated Brock for the second time this season.

Brock 10 at Waterloo 25 Namish Modi asst. sports & living

T

he Warriors are heading to the final four. Waterloo’s women’s rugby team extended their winning streak to five as they beat the visiting Brock Badgers in the OUA quarterfinal.

“The team is improving with each game. They have trusted us as new coaches to embrace the changes we have brought and to trust their teammates, which is quite a blend of experienced players and those who are new to the game at this level but who have loads of potential,” said coaches Jay and Leslie Shaw.

“We never got out worked. We always supported each other, trusted

our bench and played the full 80 minutes,” said co–captains Abby Gingerich and Sam Eyles. “After that it’s just about enjoying the game.”

Winger Savannah Gentile opened the scoring for the Warriors as she dove in for a try in the corner. The Warriors extended their lead with another try in the first half by full back Caitlin Martin, her third of the season. Brock added a try late in the second half to cut the Warriors lead in half.

Eyles added a try in the second half. Prop Brianna Cunningham also added a try, while Martin added her second try of the day, and fourth on the season. Brock added another try late in the game, but it was too little, too late.

“Before every game we read a quote and read it before the game, for the quarterfinal we said: champions have confidence in their eyes and determination in their hearts.

Never get out worked, we are champions, we are Warriors,” said Eyles and Gingerich.

The Warriors also defeated Brock in the homecoming game earlier in the year 22–11 “We trusted ourselves that we could beat Brock again, but didn’t take them lightly,” said the coaches.

“We had key players who had their best performances of the season, and everyone followed their lead.”

The 4–1 Warriors will now face the 5–0 Queens Golden Gaels in a do or die semi-final matchup.

“It’s about meeting expectations and then surpassing them, the trick is never to be content. In order to improve we must keep pushing ourselves to set higher and higher goals,” said Gingerich and Eyles.

“First, we have to ensure that we don’t get out worked. Second, we need to continue to believe in ourselves and trust in the abilities of every player on the field and on the bench,” said the coaches.

“We have managed to use nearly all of our subs in every game , and this demonstrates our depth this season and promises a bright future.”

The game will take place in Kingston this Saturday and the winner will earn the right to play in the OUA finals and the CIS Championships.

The McMaster Marauders will face the Guelph Gryphons in the other semi-final matchup. That match will also take place on Saturday. It will be played at Varsity Field in Guelph. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

Women’s hockey team remains winless, dropping two over the weekend Saturday

Toronto 2 Waterloo 0 Ron Kielstra Jr staff reporter

Chester Yang reporter

I

n a battle of two winless teams, terloo was unable to capitalize on a strong goaltending performance from Etobicoke’s Martina Michaud on Saturday, falling 2-0 to the visiting University of Toronto Varsity Blues.

After a cautious and even opening period, the Warriors took four consecutive penalties in the second and Toronto took advantage, scoring off a rebound from a point shot with two minutes left in the period.

The Blues played it safe from there, and despite strong pressure throughout the third, Waterloo was unable to break through. An empty netter sealed the first victory of the season for Toronto and left the Warriors still searching for their first win of the season.

Sunday

York 1 Waterloo 0

Waterloo next played host to the winless York Lions during Hockey Day in Waterloo, in what was a tightly contested affair.

Despite taking four different penalties in the first period, the game remained scoreless until 17:03 of the second period, when York captain Courtney Unruh scored the first and only goal of the game.

The Warriors stayed in the game until the end, thanks largely to a 27 save performance from Michaud, but Waterloo was ultimately unable to respond, dropping their fourth straight game to start the season.

Despite the losses, Waterloo could take some positives from the weekend, as the team’s commitment to lowering the number of goals allowed continued show.

“We just have to take the positives from it,” commented assistant captain Elora Brenneman. “We’re winning a lot of the one-on-one battles and we’ve been really competitive in every game.”

Brenneman also credited the play of rookie goaltender Michaud, who stopped 59 of the 61 shots she faced on the weekend, for keeping them in the games; but after getting shutout twice on the weekend, she also admitted that the Warriors will need to start scoring goals if they’re to move up in the standings.

“With nine new players it’s been hard to build chemistry right away, but we’ve had some bad luck and we’ve been working hard in practice on getting pucks to the net,” Brenneman said. “But we’re a hard-working team and I think we can compete with any team [in the OUA].”

The Warriors will need to continue to work hard as they host the Brock Badgers (2–1) on Saturday and the undefeated Guelph Gryphons (3–0) on Sunday. Both games start at 2pm at CIF, and admission is free with your Watcard. rkielstra@imprintuwaterloo.ca

MUNICIPAL ELECTIONS WILL BE HELD ON MONDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2010 for the following offices: OFFICE FOR WHICH VOTE TO BE HELD

NO.TO BE ELECTED

Mayor, City of Waterloo

1

Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 1 – Southwest

1

Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 3 – Lakeshore

1

Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 4 – Northeast

1

Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 5 - Southeast

1

Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 6 – Central-Columbia

1

Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 7 – Uptown

1

Chair, Regional Municipality of Waterloo

1

Councillor, Regional Municipality of Waterloo

2

Membre, Le Conseil scolaire de district du Centre-Sud-Ouest (French Language Public School Board, Region of Waterloo, Counties of Huron, Middlesex, Perth and Wellington) Member, Waterloo Region District School Board

1 3

Mayor, City of Waterloo

1

Please note the following acclamations: Councillor, City of Waterloo – Ward 2 – Northwest

KAREN SCIAN

Member, Waterloo Catholic District School Board

ROBERT HÉTU JANEK P. JAGIELLOWICZ

Membre, Le Conseil scolaire de district catholique Centre Sud (French Language Separate School Board) to represent the Region of Waterloo and the Counties of Brant, Haldimand and Norfolk)

DOROTHÉE PETIT-PAS

REGULAR VOTING DAY – MONDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2010 | 10:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.

Students living in on-campus residences will vote at: University of Waterloo – Multi-Purpose Room, Student Life Centre 200 University Avenue,Waterloo, Ontario Note: This voting location is for on-campus residents only.

Students living in off-campus accommodations should contact the Clerk’s Office at 519-747-8777 or 519-747-8704 to find out where they vote.

PROXY APPLICATIONS A person who has been appointed a voting proxy must appear in person before the City Clerk, City Hall, Main Floor, 100 Regina Street South,Waterloo, Ontario to complete a required form including a statutory declaration that the person is the person appointed as a voting proxy.

The City Clerk’s Office will be open for this purpose from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday to Friday, including Election Day, October 25, 2010;

www.waterloo.ca

How to kill an NFL franchise in one off-season

“

The NFL is no doubt a cut-throat business, one that sees older players dumped, often unceremoniously, to the curb for garbage pickup.

I

n the NFL, players often get berated by fans and media members because of their egos. It’s as big a part of the NFL culture as smoking hot cheerleaders and tailgating. Most recently, Randy Moss was chastised for his selfish ways, as he complained about not getting a new contract extension this summer. He was ridiculed for “putting himself before the team” and “being selfish”. But while most turn to criticize our good friend Moss, another person seems to be getting off easier than McLovin — his name is A.J. Smith and he is the general manager of the San Diego Chargers.

It takes a certain amount of skill to take a great team that went 13-3 and push them to last place in a division.

It takes even more skill to isolate and ultimately humiliate not one, but two of your top five players. It’s brilliant work when you can push out the face of your franchise and send him packing, especially after having years of self-imposed arguments with him over his contract. If you’ve done all these things, your name is A.J Smith.

The NFL is no doubt a cut-throat business, one that sees older players dumped, often unceremoniously, to the curb for garbage pickup. It’s a league where contracts are not guaranteed and the players have little power. General Manager’s have to be ruthless to succeed and I am not chastising Smith for making cold, calculated decisions.

I’m chastising Smith for letting his ego get in the way, for allowing himself to believe that he is the most important piece of the Chargers franchise. Sorry, Smith, but that’s like saying Michael Caine had the most important role in Inception. It’s just untrue.

Smith had built a team that last year dominated the AFC West with a passing offense that was dynamic and nearly unstoppable. His defense lacked a consistent pass rush and his secondary was suspect at times, but there was no doubt the Chargers could outscore you purely through the air.

It was their one, undeniable strength.

Flash forward to this off-season when Smith tussled with Pro Bowl receiver (and deep threat) Vincent

“

24

Jackson, and all-important, Pro Bowl left tackle Marcus McNeill. Instead of being like every GM in the league and assigning these two players with restricted free agent tenders and waiting for them to sign them, Smith set a due date for signature. When neither signed by his unwarranted and unruly due date, Smith lowered their tags from the reasonable $3.2 million figure to the embarrassing value of $630,000.

And for no reason — all an ego move.

Smith then released star running back LaDainian Tomlinson after years of bickering with him over his contract.

At the time, the move seemed to be logical, but when you see Tomlinson scampering for game-winning touchdowns for the New York Jets, it seems to point to Smith not evaluating talent properly. It becomes even less prudent when you consider that Smith signed Darren Sproles to a ridiculous one-year $7.3 million contract. Yes, Sproles, the guy who so far this season has rushed 19 times for 80 yards. In case you were wondering, Tomlinson has 490 yards on 92 carries.

All of this seems to be pointing to why GMs around the league reportedly call Smith “the Lord of No Rings” — as in, Smith lording over his team pretentiously, but without any Super Bowl championships to back it up. When someone like Bill Parcells has a bit of an attitude, well, that makes sense since he’s won championships and built winners everywhere he’s went. But when your teams are famous for failing in the playoffs and not having enough — well, A.J Smith, it might not be best to pick fights with your most talented players.

At the end of the day, the Chargers may still very well win the weak AFC West. On the other hand, Smith’s open hostility to some of his players has limited the team’s options. This team, while surviving on its reputation, may finally just be of average talent. And if the Chargers do miss the playoffs, it’s time that not only the players are held to the “team before ego” mantra… it’s time A.J Smith is too. jtoporowski@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

GOLF: Men finish as runners-up Continued from page 21

Devon Rizzo, Mandy Wong, and Jane Tang each turned in strong performances to lift the black and gold to a four-stroke win over the Toronto Varsity Blues, a team that featured both the second and third place individuals.

Sitting four strokes back after the first day of play and 10 back after 27 holes, the Warriors rallied to make up 14 strokes on the final nine holes, a clutch performance befitting a championship-calibre team.

The men’s team had a similarly strong performance, and had rallied to take a two stroke lead with nine

holes to play, before falling to a strong Western Mustang team.

“We deserved a better fate but this year just wasn’t meant to be,” Rank said, “We are obviously disappointed, but it’s nothing to hang our heads on.

We will learn and build [on this] to come out even stronger and better next fall.”

The Warriors had previously clinched the league play championship, winning three of the six league events this year, and this success hardly went unnoticed as Dave Hollinger won the OUA’s Men’s Coach of the Year award. rkielstra@imprintuwaterloo.ca

Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

HOCKEY: Goaltender Leclerc wins first CIS Game

Courtesy Steve Brooks/UW Athletics

Justin Leclerc made 19 saves for his first CIS win.

CONTINUED from page 21

That lead would also not last as the Gryphons tied the game shortly after.

Waterloo came up big in the last two minutes.

Forward Tyler Moir potted the rebound of a had slapshot by defenseman Steve Whitely for the game winner.

The game ended with Waterloo taking 28 minutes of penalties while Guelph took 30. Warriors were 2-for-11 on the man advantage while shutting Guelph out nine times shorthanded.

Hockey Day in Waterloo wrapped up on Oct. 16 with the cross town rivalry game when the Laurier Golden hawks visited the Warriors at CIF. Waterloo would defeat their rivals 4-2 in a great game.

“Our team’s overall game against Laurier was great,” said Hill. “I feel like we really came together as a team having a few key players out of the line-up. It was great to see players step into roles and play well.”

Waterloo jumped into the lead at the 4:28 mark when forward Cory Fraser took a pass from behind the Laurier net and sniped it for his first of the season.

Hill extended the lead to 2-0 at 12:02 of the first after potting in a rebound from a wrist shot courtesy of Thorner. Laurier would get one back two minutes later on a power play and the teams would head to the locker room with Waterloo up 2-1.

The second saw the Golden Hawks open the period playing a stifling neutral zone trap. The Warriors had trouble breaking through until about 10 minutes in when Thorner finished a rebound off a hard shot by Whitely. Laurier refused to quit however, scoring two minutes later on the power play to cut the lead to one goal once again.

The story of the third was simply goaltending.

Laurier’s goaltender Ryan Daniels made some spectacular saves. Not to be outdone, Warriors rookie goaltender Justin Leclerc (making his first CIS start) also made some outstanding saves.

Schnurr sealed the victory for the Warriors late, posting his fifth goal of the season with an empty netter.

Warriors outshot the Golden hawks 34-21 in this game, with Leclerc making 19 saves.

His success came from his incredible rebound control in this game, as most of Laurier’s 21 shots resulted in no rebound.

“He played great for us on Saturday. He looked real comfortable in net,” said Thorner.

This was Leclerc’s first CIS win.

Through four games, Schnurr leads the Warriors with ten points (five goals, five assists) while Thorner is second on the team with seven points (three goals, four assists).

Waterloo will battle York this Friday at CIF, while also playing host to Western on Saturday night. Both games begin at 7:30 p.m. and entry is free with a Watcard. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

25

Naismith hopes dashed

No 3-peat this time as both men and women Warriors fail to register a win on home court Brent Golem

assistant editor-in-chief

W

Brent Golem

Alan Goodhoofd (#13) was the best Warrior this weekend, and the only one to receive tournament All-star honours. He was also the only one to record a doubledouble, hitting 23 points and grabbing 11 rebounds in their opening game.

aterloo had a rough start to their season, losing all six of its games during the long-standing tournament. The men didn’t fair as poorly as the women, as they managed some close games during the tournament, narrowly losing their opening game to Memorial by only five points, 75–70. Forward Alan Goodhoofd was the team’s top performer, scoring 23 points and grabbing a team-high 11 rebounds. Small forward Cam McIntyre and forward Brendan Smith both hit double digits in scoring, with 13 and 11 points respectively.

In fact, all of the game were tight. The team only lost by 11 against the national contending Laval Rouge et Or. McIntyre got hot in this game and was the leading scorer with 19 points. The scoring was spread out, with only Goodhoofd managing double digits after scoring 12 points The Warriors finished off playing against Ryerson and dropped it 60–69. Only forward Tim Rossy managed double digits in scoring with 10 points. Shooting guard Jordan Hannah was the next highest scorer with 9, and struggled to find his stroke from beyond the arc during the tournament.

The women struggled even more to find their offense, and relied on tenacious defense to try to stay in the game. They lost to Alberta 81–48, McGill 56–44, and Laurier 72–34. They have a ways to go in their development before being ready to face their OUA opponents.

Luckily they start off the season Nov. 5 against a sub-par RMC squad. bgolem@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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9/23/10 10:55:37 AM

Comics & Distractions

26

What do you think about the KFC double down?

By Julia Peters and Gina Racine

“I’ve never eaten at KFC, so it’s probably gross”

“Unhealthy but delicious.”

Dustin Foxman

Usman Chaudhry

2A Environment and Business

“I would try it, but I wouldn’t buy it.”

Graham Wulff 3A Mechanical Engineering

“I wanted to split it between four people but no one would do it.”

Matt Rodgers 3A Recreational Business

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

SUNSHINE ANIMAL

2A Accounting

“It would be healthier to eat a five dollar bill than the double down.”

Michael Chung 3A Environment and Resource Studies

“That’s awesome!”

Javeria Tariq 2A Accounting

’s t I y x o Se

S

jordan campbell

Wallaby Patty She commonly goes by the name Pouch Potato Patty. Although a lazy wallaby, she jumps towards any opportunity to hit up, which leaves her pouch of gold, empty. Though a user she is not a loser and may be a good choice if you choose her.

Marta Borowska imprint staff

P

Waterloo 7 King St. N 519-886-4500

StagShop.com

ouch for gold? Nah, pouch for another wallaby.

The parma wallaby habituates in New Zealand, Australia, and its neighbouring islands. Nesting in grassy forested areas allows them a comfortable place to rest during the day to fulfil their nocturnal lifestyle for the 10 to 15 years that is their lifespan.

Like a mini kangaroo, wallabies appear very similar in construction and skin but not size. Ranging from 30 to 100 centimetres, the wallaby is smaller and more solitary than its kangaroo cousin.

Their outer layer is covered with a brownishgrey fur, with hints of whitish-grey fur around its moustache and chest area. Located in their under-belly is also a pouch for baby wallabies.

Believed to have gone extinct a century ago,

they were rediscovered in New Zealand, the place where they were first established. Although their extinction proved to be a myth, some were captivated to be bred in Australia in order to preserve the species and introduce their kind to an unfamiliar location.

Having a simple herbivorous diet, the wallaby eats mainly grasses and herbs, which are easily found where they reside. Farmers have had problems with wallabies in the past because wallabies will come to eat their crops. Looks like scarecrows are not the only contraption farmers will have to put in their fields.

Their poor eye-sight is unfortunate for their nocturnal nature, but their sense of hearing makes up for it.

They need this skill specifically to protect themselves from predators like the fox, which is also known as a dingo. mborowska@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

27

Dear bike thief

A

Dear weekly crossword,

letter to the person who stole my bike: I didn’t even lock it, because it was such an awful, awfully awful bike.

I thought no one would steal it because then they would be forced to ride it home. When I rode it I couldn’t look at glass windows because then I would see myself riding it, and remember what a doucheface I looked like. Honestly, it looked like a bike Dennis the Menace would ride, if he was poor and his parents hated him.

Why I’m upset is because I know you’re not going to use this bike, you’re going to throw it off your roof for fun one day and beat the shit out of it with a crow bar, I know, we’ve all been there.

At least if you stole an awesome bike from me, you would ride it and get some use out of it, I could take some solace in that.

Maybe you could have even gotten more use out it than me. I could have convinced myself that somehow and some way through the Nethers of the Universe you needed this bike more than me, you deserved it.

But I can’t have that feeling with this bike, can I? You’re going to steal it to ride home drunkenly for a kilometre, and then say ‘What the fuck am I still doing with this bike? Hey guys where did I steal this from? ‘Set design’ from the movie “The Sandlot”? Am I right? hahaha I’magreatbigdoucheface.”

It ate up potential energy for breakfast and it spit out terrible, terrible rust noises for dinner. That doesn’t even make sense, but you know what else didn’t? You had to pedal to go downhill on that bike, I’m completely serious, it baffled me every time.

Anyway I hope you were ridiculed on the way home, you have the worst taste I’ve ever seen in a thief.

You’re like Ocean’s 11, but instead of stealing from an awesome casino, with laser vaults, you’re stealing hay, from a barn, with no animals inside.

I hate you, Sincerely, Jordano B. Tonial (the “B” doesn’t stand for “Bike”)

What happened? I missed you last [fifty-two per year (4)]. My Friday [routine (6)] was [ruined (7)] when I [found out (8)] you weren’t there.

Please come back. We would be [flawless (7)] together. Sure, it’s [correct (4)], you don’t have any curves. But you’re still sexy. I wanna fill your boxes. All of them.

- Dave

Missed any connections lately?

Got any ideas, gripes, or randomly entertaining thoughts?

Send them (with utmost affection) to:

distractions@imprint. uwaterloo.ca

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28

Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, October 22, 2010

MICHAEL TO (irresponsiblyoptomistic@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)

lisa mai (distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)

ADRIENNE RAW (araw@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)

“J.T.” (geese@imprint.uwaterloo.ca)