opinion
“Mr. Vice-President, I’m speaking” - on speaking and being listened to in a gender imbalanced world In a family dinner, party, class debate, or work meeting. In political debates or judicial sessions. In any of these situations, you may have realized that gentlemen take the floor more naturally, more often, and for longer than ladies. Or you have seen a man interrupting a woman. Possibly repeatedly, to contradict, complement or simply anticipate what she was saying. Or maybe you have seen him explaining to her a topic of her own expertise. Or perhaps you have seen a man rephrase a woman’s arguments in his own words or to utter confirming expressions after she speaks.
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f you have seen or lived any of this, you are not alone. The worldwide resonance of Kamala Harris’ “I’m speaking” to Mike Pence’s continued interruptions in the US vice-presidential debate reminded us how common these phenomena are and how we all relate to them, one way or another. But why is there such a gender-based asymmetry when it comes to the simple human acts of speaking and listening? How can we fight it, rebalancing turns, legitimacy, and tradition of speech?
to determine what all thought and did, the running of the house, the firm, the government, the country. They have not been used to having their arguments challenged or speech hegemony disputed.
The stubbornly present and scientifically proven imbalances mentioned above 11come down to 1) the different ways in which boys and girls are socialized - or have been until now - and 2) the consequent distinct roles we have socially built for adult men and women in the Western world.
Meanwhile, women have traditionally played the supporting roles, acting behind the scenes and silently. They were expected to accommodate family disputes, to make sure everybody around them had all they needed to eat, drink, work. They studied what they needed to fulfill their assisting positions - as mothers, wives, secretaries, employees. Their act of speaking was often related to transmitting or executing messages emitted by men, their authority deriving from their relation to them. Expressing their own views or men’s was rather the (impertinent and unwelcome) exception than the rule. They have not been accustomed to speaking or to be listened to, in their own right.
Men have traditionally been the center of attention. And the decision power. In the family circle, at the workplace, in socio-political structures. They were the breadwinners, studied the most, and had the top positions in companies and social hierarchies. Consequently, they got to have their say. What they said mattered, symbolically and concretely,
All this is changing and we all must fight against these speech injustices for this to keep changing. First, for people to realize that a gender gap exists in how and how much we are expected and entitled to speak and listen, and that this is intolerable. Second for us to behave differently and get used to others doing the same. For men to hear women, until the end, without feeling the need 111to validate in any
16 - VOICES
