7 minute read
Antoinette Serfontein
THIS IS ME…HAPPILY MARRIED FOR FOUR YEARS and expecting our firstborn in July 2000. At the age of 29, this mom-to-be didn’t exactly know who she was. She was constantly comparing herself to others, was confused, unsettled, discontent, sorry for herself, wise in her own eyes, an expert in knowing every excuse in the book, always justifying herself and blaming others and circumstances for everything! Not a pretty picture of a role model mom, or of one that is fully prepared and ready for raising a child? The enemy was having a party as he danced over me, a pathetic soul, in his eyes.
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My numerous self-talk conversations always ended up in even further self-destruction and agreement with the lies of the enemy. In this terrible state of emptiness, brokenness, and nothingness, I cried out to God.
It was here, at this specific point in time, when He rescued me by giving me, this mom, a village, not to raise her child yet, but to raise HER first. This intervention was the start of my Me2 Mentoring journey.
A process of discipleship was necessary to bring about a much-needed transformation. A village of Godly women came alongside me and directed me to God, encouraged me in all areas of my life, loved me, and prayed for me. My relationship with them became stronger as it grew in trust. I could draw from their experience, wisdom, and their own walk with Jesus. Speaking into my life and asking me some hard questions challenged me greatly, and it wasn’t always easy and comfortable to receive and accept.
Becoming offended and rebellious, was inevitable and exposed even more flaws in my character.
Monthly gatherings became a highlight. I met incredible women and made lovely friends. I devoured given resource material and equipping tools that were relevant, Biblically founded, and practically applicable. We read many good books - a huge challenge when one has little ones, but I did it and undoubtedly benefited from the commitment. Slowly but surely, change became visible and resulted in a different perspective and response to the issues of life. I could see myself the way God does, my true identity, and in the process, grew in faith and character, and got to know the things He values. These women celebrated my victories, and their shouts of joy framed the enemy as a loser and a liar. Glory to the King!
The rich deposit in my spirit, the fruit, could not be retained. It needed to be displayed, handed out, shared, sown in order for someone else to receive, to be raised up, like myself, to be raised to life — a life which is purposeful and effective in the Kingdom. I became more involved in Mommy mentoring groups at the time that I had a toddler and another baby. Although we are all equal in value and worth, but not in life experience and our spiritual walk, younger moms need older women to teach them (Titus 2:4). The “exchange” between these two age groups is a beautiful thing and one I value. I want to encourage young moms to be teachable and to connect with older and mature women. Learn from them and draw from them as they become YOUR village. I can testify of many changed mommy lives and the impact on their families and communities.
Parenting is partnering with God. God gives us everything pertaining to life (2 Peter 1:3), which includes raising children, and He leads those that have young (Isaiah. 40:11). In other words, the “how-to”, wisdom, insight in specific situations, and the discernment we need. God is busy with me in my being busy with my daughters, showing me His perspective, His way, His plan.
We are all in different seasons in life, facing different challenges and are surrounded by a dozen different voices and opinions, causing confusion and preventing us from hearing the voice of our Father. The Word is our standard and is above all knowledge and understanding, and its values and principles apply to all.
The Holy Spirit is our “go-to”. He is our Helper! Often I had to admit to my children that I didn’t have the answer or solution to a certain issue, but we could pray together and ask the One that does know. In doing that, it gave them space to be participants rather than spectators and pursuing God for themselves and for their own faith to be stirred. May we not miss (to be unaware) the opportunities God creates for us, throughout the day, to make a deposit in their spirit or to sow a seed, as we interact with them. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
On my journey, I had breakthrough days, setback days, growth days and backsliding days, mountain-moving faith days, low key faith days, proud parent days, and disappointment parent days, etc. And some days, the load was just unbearably heavy. I have fallen many times, but got picked up by the One beside me (Ecclesiastes. 4:9-10), cheering me on to get up and to run this race with endurance, fixing my eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-2).
Raising our two daughters to the ages of 11 and 9, was truly a delightful experience. They were easy and healthy babies and toddlers and later, diligent learners.
Overall happy girls and as they became more independent, our lives a bit easier and with some added freedom. I always wanted to be a teacher and sometimes regret not following my heart. I obtained the relevant information and decided to pursue this passion through further studies. I felt God’s approval and became excited about my new venture. Until one day, when a simple test confirmed my suspicion… Trying to convince myself that this is NOT happening! I was devastated and terrified by the thought of having another baby, not even to mention the fact that I was 40, already. Arrogantly I reminded God about my teaching plan, to which He agreed, remember…and that having a baby now, is definitely not part of this plan.
“The plans of a man might be many, but it is the purposes of God that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21), and although He says that His plans are good ones too (Jeremiah. 29:11), I really found it difficult to believe. After that, I had many conversations in reasoning with God, and I clearly remember how He took me in His arms and whispered to me… “You were born for a time as this (Esther 4:14), and My resurrection power is IN you. (Romans 8:11). Hearing Him saying to me, “You are a teacher, already, and you are exactly where I want you to be. Raising this baby is your next assignment.” His voice settled something in my spirit - that urge to be someone else, somewhere else, and it finally brought me to a place of rest and peace.
Furthermore, God reminded me of the village He gave me years before. Those who planted seed in me, those who watered it so faithfully (1 Corinthians 3:7), those who never judged me, or gave up on me. Those who kept on loving me and believing in me, and still do! Suddenly hope arose as I realized I do have a village to raise this child.
Our 3rd girl, Cari (now 9), was born. The light of our lives and bringer of love (the meaning of her name). I am deeply grateful and humbled by the grace, favor, and goodness of a loving and faithful Father. As I continue this journey…
“I will tell of the kindness of the Lord (Isaiah 63:7).”
God’s economy of purpose (nothing wasted) has brought me full circle as I am, once again, facilitating a mommy&me2 mentoring initiative, where I am passing the baton on to the next generation of mommies. I would like to invite moms to come and be part of that community that will raise their children TOGETHER, because...
...IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD!
_ Antoinette and her husband Nico live in Jefferys Bay and they are party of the Eldership team at Victory Church. Antoinette is passionate about seeing young moms thrive in their season of life and oversees the Mommy & me2 ministry at Victory Church
ANTOINETTE SERFONTEIN
