Katrina Nel

MARRIAGE, MOTHERHOOD & THE MARKETPLACE

10 JUNE 2020, ANTON AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN married for 20 years. We are the proud parents of two beautiful children. Brigitte our daughter (17), and Anton Jnr, our son (14)

I grew up in a loving home, the eldest of three daughters, in a little town called Alicedale in the Eastern Cape. My father, a proud and very talented Afrikaner, married my mom, a fashion designer from Munich, Germany, and ran a successful textile mohair factory. I grew up in the business, watching and always helping my parents wherever I could. As a child, I would go to the factory after school and answer the phone to take orders or take curious visitors through the factory on tours to explain the different spinning, weaving, or knitting machines. At sixteen, I would set up and sell carpets, jerseys, and curtains at different festivals or shows while my parents were working. I loved the business, I had a good understanding of how to hustle, and I knew the value of where money came from.

Although my parents always loved me, my mom and dad used to fight a lot. Mostly about business decisions that they would disagree on, but they had their fair share of fighting. Their diverse backgrounds alone calls for sparks! Their marriage was very much: you do your thing, and I’ll do mine.

Going to high school meant I had to go from a small farm school in Alicedale to a big high school in Somerset East and stay in a hostel. I didn’t know anyone; I was alone and afraid. I cried myself to sleep every night. I begged my mom to fetch me but realized that this was IT “vasbyt” as they say in Afrikaans. I was to stay. My parents are not religious in any sense of the word. There was no form of religion in our house - no church, no praying, no God, no Jesus - Nothing. I was told the world started with a BIG BANG, and we evolved from Baboons. Somehow I never believed that story. As a thirteen-year-old girl, I cried out to God and asked for a friend. He answered my prayer, and to this day, my friend and I still share a special bond. She invited me to go to Christian gatherings every Wednesday called SCA, and that’s where I committed my life to God. At fourteen, I got “Christened” in the Dutch reformed church with three other babies, but I stood there alone before God committing my way to Him understanding and knowing I was saved and born again, a child of God, a “SUNDAYCHILD.”

When I was fourteen, I met my husband, Anton. We had a beautiful, loving relationship for ten years before we got married. Anton loved God too, and he would often tell me stories from the Old Testament, which I never knew because I didn’t have any background of the Word up until then. Reading the Bible was so interesting, a whole new world opened up for me. I’ve always been creative and productive; I even made my own matric farewell dress and decided to study fashion design. I worked and travelled in Europe and Britain and worked in our family business before I got married. At twenty-three, I embarked on a life on the farm Witmos with my school sweetheart.

A few months into marriage, my world started to fall apart. My independence was taken away, and Anton wasn’t doing things MY way. My example of how to handle conflict was warped, and Anton hated conflict. To fight with someone that doesn’t want to fight is impossible. I prayed, but my relationship with God was stale.

It all changed at a ladies’ camp where I met Holy Spirit and committed my life to be spirit led. He gently convicted me of my wrongdoings, and I came home a changed woman. I’ve never been the same after that. I surrendered my will, and I gave it all to Him. Anton and I were baptized, and we had a hunger and thirst for Him that was unquenchable. I was baptized in the Holy Spirit in my inner room while praying one morning. I had peace that surpassed all understanding and the joy of the Lord all at once. When thinking back on the last twenty years of married life, I’ve asked myself what made it work? Without a doubt, only by God’s Grace! We have learned to fight fair. Never to be violent and always forgive one another, not as an option but as a rule. We would often ask each other spiritual questions while fighting, “What do you think is the root cause of the way you are feeling right now?” or, “You are believing a lie, what does the Word say concerning this?” We have always been transparent and open, and if we couldn’t resolve a problem, we would phone our pastors and bring out the dirty washing!

We joined Victory Family Church in Somerset East under Hennie and Suzette Liebenberg, nineteen years ago - they were parents to us in the spirit, and we had great times together. We sat under Louis and Edna Els’ amazing teachings whenever we could and were privileged to be invited to leadership gatherings in Jbay. Now we are blessed to have Jacques and Nicky van Heerden as our pastors. I haven’t had any traumatic or out of the ordinary experience, but walking with God, choosing Him, and going against the norm doesn’t make you popular in a small town. You experience rejection. But, it’s been the best thing for us, we’ve met so many amazing people in church life that became family. One of the most valuable lessons that we have learned is to try and accurately represent and reflect Jesus by being a disciple. In turn, you also make disciples - showing people to Jesus.

Sending my children to boarding school was probably the hardest thing for me to do. My son wasn’t coping academically in his first year at our local school. I sat with a wooden spoon next to him while doing homework and realised that this was not God’s way. I was exhausted; I didn’t have the insight on how to help my son and cried out to God. He was so faithful in giving me a word for Anton Jnr. I put my son before God and blindly trusted His word and sent Anton Jnr to boarding school the following year at the age of seven. It all went very well, and with his positive demeanour, he has excelled. At the end of his junior school, year he walked away with two trophy awards. One Boarder of the year and the other the Public speaking award. He loves people, and he has grown into a fine young man with a heart after God.

I always have a business project going. From growing lavender plants to making biltong, I’ve even had a pie-making business. I started my formal business ten years ago and named it “SUNDAYCHILD.” The name “Sundaychild” symbolises the Grace of God over my life, the blessing that comes my way not because of who I am but WHOSE I am. I know Father God only wants what’s best for me and has carried me through all these years. Romans 8:26 best describes my life right now. “And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.” I started by making mohair scarves, jackets, and throws. The business evolved into a clothing boutique in Port Alfred, where I design and make clothing on occasion but also buy clothing, shoes, accessories, and swimwear from other designers. My Mom and I also have a business selling fashion and home textile products made with natural fibres. We are launching our E-commerce business later this month as a mother daughter collaboration.

One of the most time consuming things in my life has been driving to fetch kids, rushing between sport commitments, or for Brigitte’s weekly practices to support her love for horses and her dream to become part of our national horse riding team. After many disappointments, hours of practice, and a lot of perseverance, Brigitte received her Protea colours last year and travelled to the US to represent her country. All the Glory goes to Him.

We were so busy! Sundays, we would spend two hours to and from church. Monday mornings would start at 3:30 am to take kids back to School in the city. I put 50 000km on our vehicle every year! To say that I was overcommitted was an understatement. Until the lockdown, I was running a lifelong marathon of juggling fifty balls wishing for more hours in a day and more days in a month. I needed the lockdown. It has brought me to a BIG HALT. We are getting back to the things that REALLY MATTER. God is using this situation that the enemy has deemed for destruction to work for the good of those that love Him – for His good. We have had the best family time during lockdown. We have had the freedom of the farm, and I feel so blessed to have the kids home with us. The house is busy and alive. We have had time to play games and go on picnics, go for walks and pony rides just for fun. All because we have time. We take turns on a daily basis to share the Word and break bread together, and until August, I’m going to appreciate this precious commodity. Redemption Time – bought with the precious blood of Jesus.

What is God saying to me in this time?

Psalm 25:14 [TPT], There’s a private place reserved for the lovers of God, where they sit near him and receive the revelation-secrets of his promises.

My advice to you is to make time to sit with Him and let him whisper His secrets to you!

Katrina and her family are part of the Victory Church in Somerset East. She is an intergral part of that community.