ISSUE SEVEN
TA R Y N J O Y N E R W O O D
MARLENE TERBLANCHE
ME2 MAGAZINE
MARIAN COERTZEN
KARA NOTHNAGEL
EDNA ELS
B E R N A D E T T E S WA R T Z
JUDY SCHELLINGERHOUT
#7 CONTENTS P O W E R N O T E F R O M E D N A
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D A D D Y ’ S G I R L S 5
- Marian Coertzen
H O P E 1 3
- Bernadette Swartz S E C O N D H A N D L I V I N G 1 9
-Taryn Joynerwood C R E AT I V E C O L L E C T I V E
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- Falling into Creativity P E R F O R M A N C E A D D I C T 3 3
- Marlene Terblanche NOT EVERYTHING HAPPENS F O R A R E A S O N 3 9
- Kara Nothnagel A LIFE FLOODED WITH MIRACLES
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- Judy Schellingerhout MOM’S THE WORD:5 STEPS FROM
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E M P T Y- N E S T T O C O N T E N T E D N E S S
- Shauna Blaak W E A R & E AT
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© This publication is produced by Victory Media for me2 M e n t o r i n g J e ff re y s B a y. A l l a rt i c l e s a re w r i tt e n b y m e m b e r s o f Victory Church unless otherwise stated. This magazine is not f o r s a l e . Fo r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n o n a n y o f t h e a r t i c l e s , d o n o t hesitate to email us at me2@victorychurch.org.za w w w. m e 2 m e n t o r i n g . c o m / / w w w. v i c t o r y c h u rc h . o rg . z a
Photography: Sherah Krause
Photography: Koring Kriek
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>>POWERNOTE<<
Hello friends!
be harder to believe than fiction” and that “I’ve become pretty unoffendable in the
Have you ever said something flippantly in
process!” Haha, it’s pretty ironic that, even
a humorous way to your friends that evoked
as I write this, my auto-correct has put a red
lots of laughter and even a friendly rebuke
line under the word unoffendable (meaning
simultaneously? Thankfully, our close friends
“no replacement found”) because THERE IS
are a safe place where we don’t always have
NO SUCH THING AS BEING UNOFFENDABLE.
to measure our words. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE BREATH IN YOU, YOU Because January is my birthday month and
HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE OFFENDED, NEVER
it coincides with just about every event
MIND OFFENDING SOMEONE EL SE.
you can think of, I rarely get to celebrate my birthday with my ‘homies!’ So on the
Well, my friend, you can imagine the setup
rare occasion that we congregate around
that lay before me in the months ahead.
a restaurant table, it ’s a real treat. This
It was as if the enemy had overheard my
past January, we had such an occasion.
comment and had set up an obstacle course
Precious friends, talking ‘at the speed of
to trip me up. Offense is not just a teaching
light’ to catch up on events, and filling our
we do in Maturity101, offense is still the #1
‘relational tanks’ that got pretty empty over
device of the enemy to SEVER relationships,
the Christmas break.
cause bitterness, isolate us from others, and make us easy prey for the enemy.
Surprisingly, we got onto the topic of ‘Relationships and the things that sabotage
The definition of “sever” is:
them’―pretty intense conversation for a tea
• t o DIVIDE by CUTTING or SLICING,
party, wouldn’t you say?
especially SUDDENLY and FORCIBLY, • t o END A CONNECTION or REL ATIONSHIP, &
Having been in ministry for over thirty years,
• to SEPARATE, DISJOIN, or DIVIDE.
I naively stated that, at times, “Real life can
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So, in retrospect, it was a very dumb
aborts destiny and purpose, and imprisons
statement to make—a statement that the
you in a fortress of offense.
enemy-of-my-soul used to roll out the opportunities to get offended from all
FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY THAT UNLOCKS
directions and in every conceivable way!
THIS PRISON CELL!
I’ve learned, once again, that the only way
Forgiveness is a choice―but it’s not a choice
to not get offended is to NOT take ‘the bait.’
that we can make and maintain solely by
Yes, offenses are given, but whether or
our willpower. We need the GRACE of God
not you TAKE IT remains a CHOICE that has
to enable and empower us. We need a
eternal consequences.
revelation of His love that transforms us and enables us to forgive, release, and bless
We live in a fallen world. At times, we are
from the stronghold of His righteousness and
affected by other people’s transgressions
grace and not our own self-righteousness.
and choices. Unresolved hurt causes prolonged pain that leads to a root of
MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGEMENT!
bitterness that defiles you and those around you.
When we allow His mercy to triumph over judgement in our lives, we become a
The Word admonishes us in Hebrews 12:15 NIV, “See to it that no one FALLS SHORT of the
conduit of His abundant grace and gift of righteousness.
GRACE of God and that no bitter root GROWS UP to cause TROUBLE and DEFILE many.”
May we look a little more like Him at the end of the day. And, please, remind me to keep
Normally, roots grow down, but a root of
the conversation light over our next chai lattè!
bitterness defies gravity and grows up! It
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causes trouble, and it infects not only your
WITH MUCH LOVE,
life but the lives of those around you. It
EDS
This past Januar y, we had such an occasion. Precious friends, talking ‘at the speed of light’ to catch up on events, and filling our ‘relational tanks’
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MARIAN COERTZEN Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Girl - my journey into the heart of the Father
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THE SIGHT AND FRAGRANCE of a frangipani tree
before having supper on the beach. Dad often
take me back to my childhood. We had one
carried me into the sea. I would cling to him as
growing in our yard at the front gate. We called it
tightly as a mussel on a rock as he ventured out
the “Baby” tree because only children that were
beyond the breakers. It was exhilarating for a little
small enough to be supported by the soft branches
girl to confront such danger but feel totally safe
were allowed to climb it. I had two older brothers
with her Dad.
that had outgrown the tree, so it became my tree. I don’t remember when I first became aware of It was my favourite place to wait for Dad to return
the change in the atmosphere in our home. Dad
home from work. He was in the military and came
became withdrawn... distracted... silent. Mom
home in an army vehicle, along with other fathers
tried to keep life as normal as possible without
in the neighbourhood. My excitement would
drawing attention to Dad’s ‘absence.’ He was
mount as I peered through the branches to see
physically present but emotionally absent.
Dad climb off the ‘army bus’ and walk toward the front gate. Eager to surprise him, it was hard not
In 1969, I turned 15. In July that year, my oldest
to giggle as I tried to hide on the sparsely leafed
brother Ted and I attended a weekend youth
branches. He always played along, acting very
camp. Late on Saturday afternoon, our cousin
surprised to see me perched in the tree.
Don came to the dormitory where I was sitting on the top bunk. He told me the minister from
As Dad carried me up the pathway into our
the church we attended wanted to see me.
house, my arms would wind tightly around his
As I looked at the expression on Don’s face,
neck. I remember the smell of his uniform, the
a strong sense of ‘knowing’ overwhelmed me.
brass buttons and leather belt, all mingled with
I threw myself into his arms gasping, “My Daddy!
the smell of Brylcreem (‘hair gel’ that was more
My Daddy!”
like car grease than hair product). Most of all, I remember the sense of belonging. I felt loved,
Don carried me across the courtyard to where my
safe, and so happy to be Daddy’s girl!
brother and our minister were waiting. The winter sky seemed pitch black. Suddenly, the darkness turned
Our family was far from wealthy, but life was fun.
into an amazing scene and I experienced what I
My two older brothers were my heroes. Mom’s
now know to be an open-eyed vision. I saw a field
strengths were her gentleness and sense of
of tall, golden grass below a brilliant blue sky. My
humour. Some of our most fun times as a family
Mom, two brothers, and I were standing in the field. I
were spent on Durban beach. After a hot, humid
couldn’t make sense of this picture, but it confirmed
day, Mom would pack a picnic, and we’d all swim
my fears—my Dad was no longer with us.
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We sat mostly in stunned silence as the minister
became a safe place for me to talk openly about
drove us home. The only words I remember him
the pain generated by my Dad’s suicide and
saying were, “Ted, Marian, I have to tell you that
other destructive experiences that had brought
your Dad shot himself.” Suicide in those days
guilt, shame, and confusion.
(within religious circles) was deemed to be part of the “unpardonable sin.” It generated a deep
God also gave me the interpretation of the vision
sense of shame and only the bravest would dare
I’d received at the time of my dad’s death (four
talk about it. Counseling for us as a family was
years earlier). The golden grass represented
sadly lacking, regardless of whether it came
wheat. He said, “Marian, the vision was My
from people at church, school, or the medical
promise that I would take the four of you and
profession. When my school marks plummeted,
plant you in the Bread of Life.”
the only counsel I received was that I should give up any thought of ever going to university. We
Mom went to be with Jesus in 2011 at the age
were left to carry the excruciating pain, shame,
of ninety. She lived passionately for Him for 32
and confusion in the confines of our own hearts.
years. My brothers came to the Lord shortly after I did; they continue to live Jesus-centered lives
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This experience gave me a very distorted view
and carry the Father’s love into their families and
of God as a loving Father. The pain in my heart
communities.
transformed into rebellion against God and I
openly confessed I was an atheist. Even after
I completed my studies when I was twenty-three
surrendering my life to Jesus, I had the mistaken
years old. At that time, I heard the Lord say
idea that the Father was vaguely interested in
clearly, “I have a man for you.” But I responded
me, but only because I’d repented, submitted to
by saying, “Thanks, Lord, but please put him on
His Son, and was attempting to clean up my act.
hold for a moment; I’ve just finished four years of
In retrospect, I realise that—during those ugly,
study, and I’d like to experience life after ‘varsity!’”
rebellious, pre-Christian days—it was the sacrificial
Father’s idea of a ‘moment’ became a fourteen-
love of the Father that drew me to Himself.
year journey...
While studying for a degree (yes, I went to
Immediately after graduating, I joined Youth With
university and got a degree!), some Christians
A Mission (YWAM) and embraced their slogan as
befriended me and invited me to a Bible study.
my life’s purpose, “To know God and make Him
Despite being more interested in making friends
known.” For almost seven years, while engaged
than studying the Bible, I encountered Jesus. From
internationally in discipleship training, evangelism,
the start, God put mentors in my life. They quickly
and community living, the Father laid a
My father in his military uniform
Me at age 4
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foundation for me to understand and experience
Eve to Adam just like an earthly father walks his
the truth about Himself as a loving Father. I had
precious daughter down the aisle and presents
the privilege of sitting under the ministry of Floyd
her to her man.
McClung, Loren Cunningham, Tom and Di Hallas, and many others.
How I met and married the man of my dreams is another full-length story. Father’s fingerprints
At the age of thirty, I returned home to South
covered every detail. We’ve now been married
Africa and let Father know I was ready now for
for 25 years, and the storms that threaten most
that man He had for me. But the journey was
marriages have served only to make us cling
only halfway there.
to the Father and each other. We have three awesome children. My step-daughter was
The next part of the journey was spent working as
‘birthed’ in my heart, but my biological clock
a professional nurse. Many times, the foundations
held out long enough for me to give birth to two
that had been laid in YWAM were tested, but the
sons, the first when I was thirty-eight and the
Father was undeniably present as I navigated my
second at forty-one. What a joy!
Christian walk through very un-Christian situations. Once again, He gave me mentors who spoke
The world measures maturity by assessing the level
Words of Life to me and drew my attention to His
of independence a person displays financially,
faithful character.
socially, and in every other area. But in God’s Kingdom, maturity is measured but our ability
My prolonged singleness was not without huge
to rely on the Father. The more responsibility we
challenges. I attended weddings and baby
carry, the more we have to journey into His heart
showers with a cry in my heart, “Lord, how much
to find the resources we need to be a mature son
longer?” There were moments of desperation as
or daughter.
I imagined my biological clock diminishing my ability to have children with every tick-tick-tick.
My journey into the Father’s heart makes me realise that I’ve come full circle. I went from
My singleness also brought many valuable lessons.
being an earthly Daddy’s little girl to being
Early in my walk with Him, God spoke to me about
held and loved by the Eternal Abba Father!
the importance of pursuing a relationship with Him above any other. Adam had to walk alone with
I live in the grip of His grace, forever His
the Father before Eve was created; then God put
daughter! n
Adam to sleep and Eve had her time alone with Father. In the Father’s perfect time, He brought
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S E E TO I T T H AT N O O N E FA L L S S H O R T O F T H E G R AC E O F G O D A N D T H AT N O B I T T E R R O OT G R O W S U P TO C AU S E T R O U B L E A N D D E F I L E M A N Y. - H E B R E W S 1 2 : 1 5 N I V
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Photography: unsplash.com
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b e r n a d e t t e s wa r t z
[
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hope
]
MY NAME IS BERNADETTE; close friends call me
churches, and so many other things I don’t even
Berni. I am married to André, and we have two
want to mention. How does one not lose hope in
kids (Joshua age 9 and Andrea age 6). I originally
such situations? But still, we knew that this was
come from Paarl in the Western Cape, and Cape
where God wanted us to be, and we had to trust
Town is my happy place. When I close my eyes
that somehow, somewhere, His purpose would
and daydream, I see myself driving along Camps
be revealed.
Bay or walking on Houtbay’s beaches with my toes in the white sand.
We arrived in Jeffreys Bay in March 2013. Four months later on 31 July, I gave birth to our third
During our ten years of marriage, we’ve lived in five
child, a beautiful little girl whom we named
different towns and three different provinces, but
Jordan. Seeing that we already had two kids,
Jeffreys Bay has been my favourite place of all.
we expected everything to be like it was the last two times. But when she was born, the doctor
I suppose my husband and I could be called
said to me that she had six fingers and six toes;
‘missionaries,’ just not in the normal sense of the
I laughed and told him to stop joking around…
word. We come from a radio background; I was
until I saw for myself. She was struggling to
a radio presenter for Christian Sunday morning
breathe, and they took her away immediately.
programme for the national radio station RSG
What was happening?
(Radio Sonder Grense), and he was involved in producing these Christian programmes and has
It was only after I was back in my room that the
also worked for Radio Pulpit for some time. God
doctor confirmed that there was something
has called us to be involved in radio ministry, and
seriously wrong with our baby. They started
this calling has taken us to many different places
doing tests. With our other two babies, we had
across the country.
medical aid, but with this baby, we didn’t. I told my husband that I never wanted to end up in
Some of our experiences in radio have been
Dora Nginza hospital (a government-operated
exciting and enjoyable, and others have
hospital in the region), so we saved up R26 000 so
been nothing short of a spiritual battle. Racial
we could afford to have my delivery in a private
separation, churches discriminating against other
hospital. 14
“ I d o n’t k n ow w h e re t h e b o l d n e s s c a m e to say that, but I think, a t t h e t i m e, t h e H o l y S p i r i t j u s t t o o k ove r ”
The financial pressure hit us quickly. Baby was admitted to NICU, and the hospital put pressure on us to decide whether we wanted to stay in the private hospital or not. Even just keeping her in NICU for the afternoon was costing us R10 000 (which we had to pay for immediately)! Now, you can imagine… I’ve just had a C-Section, I’ve just found out that my baby is sick, and the hospital is coming every half hour to ask what we’re going to
moved into Dora with her. Can you believe it?! The
do with her. It was incredibly stressful!
place where I didn’t want to be at all was now my temporary home. When she was fourteen days
We soberly realised that we couldn’t afford to
old, we got the results of the genetics test. The
keep her at the private hospital, and we agreed
doctor said with absolutely no emotion, “I’m sorry,
to transfer her to Dora Nginza. Thankfully, her
Mrs. Swartz. Your daughter has Trisomy 13, and she
paediatrician was also working at Dora, so that
will not live longer than six months.”
gave us some peace of mind. My amazing husband managed to sort out all of the drama:
My response was, “Thank you, doctor, but only
arranging someone to care for our other two kids,
God will decide how long my child will live.” I
organising an ambulance, paying the hospital
don’t know where the boldness came to say that,
(because they wouldn’t release her until we paid
but I think, at the time, the Holy Spirit just took
that first R10 000), and finding someone to travel
over—I did not even break down, cry, or anything.
with the ambulance to make sure that she arrives
Trisomy 13 is a very rare genetic disorder which
safely. I only managed to hold her for a few
affects many of the organs in the body. In fact,
minutes before they took her away; it was the
only 1 in 10 000 babies even makes it to full-term.
first time I had held my baby, and now I had to stay behind.
During my pregnancy, none of our tests and check ups picked up the disorder which is why we
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After being discharged, we traveled in and out of
expected a normal, healthy baby.
Port Elizabeth every day to visit her. After a week, I
• Her heart was on the right side, not the left
• There were some holes in her heart
breathes air into her body so she can breathe
• She had a cleft palate
again. That was our ‘normal.’ Crazy, isn’t it? We
• She had the extra digits on her toes and fingers
even took turns sleeping because someone had
• And later we found out that she couldn’t hear
to watch her breathing at all times.
or see either. When our precious Jordan was 4½ months old, After thirty-nine days in the hospital, we were
she passed away. Right up until that moment, we
discharged, and the kids got to see her for the
still had HOPE that God would heal her. But as my
very first time. We were determined not to focus
husband says, “God DID heal her, just not in the
on death—we were going to focus on LIFE. We
way that we wanted.” We had peace. God gave
celebrated every month that God spared her life.
us peace. We decided that her funeral would be
We started a Facebook Page called “Baby Jordan
a Celebration of Life. We did not want people to
Swartz.” When she was three months old, we asked
cry. We asked them not to wear black, and we
people to bake cakes and have a party, wherever
asked our worship pastor, “Please, no sad songs!”
they were, just to celebrate this little girl’s life with
Well, his first song was “O Happy Day,” and we
us. And they did! Friends from Dubai, Pretoria,
were happy because we had an angel in heaven.
Cape Town, and Paarl all joined us. But enough of the sad stories. We even made it into the newspapers and a
What’s happening now?
magazine. It was wonderful to share Jordan’s story with the world. The title of these articles declared
Radio Ministry - We have a business where we
that “we were never going to give up hope!”
help other people start radio stations. By helping
That’s what gave us the strength to carry on every
to set up these platforms, we can broadcast the
day. Hope.
Word of God to areas where we’ve never even been ourselves. The radio mission for Jeffreys
Jordan was battling to survive every single day;
Bay is huge! We are currently starting a Christian
there wasn’t a day that went by that she did not
Community radio station that will cover 36% of the
have seizures. Our son, Joshua, told his friends at
Eastern Cape (nine districts). It will be the biggest
school that his sister stops breathing, and his dad
community radio station in the Eastern Cape. 16
“ M y m o t t o i s : Wo r k w i t h w h a t yo u h a ve i n yo u r h a n d .”
We’ve had to face so many challenges while
mom’s sewing machine, bought some material,
being here, especially financially, but we’ve
and made Google my friend. “Voilà!” I had made
also realised that those challenges are only the
my first dress and skirt.
enemy attempting to deter us from the mission to which God has called us. It is so easy to
And that is how Be…Original (Bernadette Original)
say “let’s pack up and go; there’s no money
started. I mainly focus on African clothing, but I
here.” But what is God saying? During the times
am also busy with other products that I can supply
when we feel most hopeless, we remember the
to the tourism industry (curios, gift shops, etc.). The
promises of God that declare that “He will never
business is growing rapidly, and I’m very excited
leave us nor forsake us.”
about it! Within the first two months, some of my clothing and bags went to Australia. And since
Support Ministry - I am now a ‘support mom’
then, I have even had products go to Italy and
for Cleft Friends, an organisation that supports
Ireland. My motto is: Work with what you have in
parents and families of children who have a cleft
your hand.
lip, a cleft pallet, or both. There is a huge need for encouragement and support for parents who
You may feel that you are in a hopeless situation,
have terminally ill babies, and I am privileged to
that you have nothing to offer. But take heart!
be able to support moms who are on the same
Give your nothing to God so that He can turn
journey that I was on.
your nothing into SOMETHING! n
Entrepreneurship - In September 2015, I received a word from a friend that I would have a very successful clothing business. I’ve always had a passion for African clothing, and I LOVE to wear it, but I never thought that I could make it myself. I wanted to start the clothing business but didn’t have the finances, and I haven’t done any sewing since I was in primary school. So, I borrowed my
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taryn joynerwood [second hand living]
Photography: Charlie Ray
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[ I would never have admitted it then, but I was completely insecure and filled with pride ]
MY STORY BEGAN MUCH THE SAME as many
successes, but I was too afraid to step out
people who grew up in a Christian home…
myself in case I made mistakes of my own.
We went to church together every Sunday.
Basically, I began living a life of judgement,
During the week, my parents would attend
fear, and independence.
home group and I would play with the other kids. I went to youth group on Friday nights. I
After school, I attended Victory Gap Year in
even went to a Christian school. We were a
Jeffreys Bay. I even went back for a second
normal, Christian family.
year. But I had completely hardened my heart to relationships with people, thinking I needed
I became really good at blending in with the
nothing except what I could learn by observing
crowd; I never liked drawing attention to myself,
their mistakes. My focus was totally wrong,and
so I always made sure I was living right so that
this affected my relationship with God in a
no one could find anything wrong with me. I
HUGE way because all I wanted from Him was
guess, from an early age, I recognized that bad
to hear that I wasn’t a failure. I would never
behaviour gets you negative attention. I didn’t
have admitted it then, but I was completely
want any attention, good or bad.
insecure and filled with pride. My life was perfectly positioned to reap the benefits and the
In school, I was good enough at academics and
confidence that comes with knowing a kind and
sports, but I never really tried hard enough to be
loving Father, but I managed to miss all of that
the best. Remember, I wanted to avoid being
and only focus on what I was going to do for
noticed, even for a positive reason. So, I started
Him all by myself.
living a life of deliberate mediocrity, very aware of the achievements and failures of those around
So, needless to say, when I stepped out of this
me. I began comparing myself to these people,
safe environment where I was placed to be
thinking I could learn from their mistakes and
“equipped and empowered” for life to make an 22
[ I couldn’t have anticipated the impact this isolation would have on my life ]
impact for the Kingdom, I entered the big,
mentally and emotionally. Because I lived with a
bad world more than unprepared. No amount
heart of judgement, I immediately disqualified
of second-hand experiences can prepare you
anyone from having an influence in my life. I
for first-hand encounters (just as hearing about
valued no one’s opinion, only listening to keep
a war is nothing compared to fighting in one).
up the facade that I had habitually maintained,
And a battlefield is exactly what I walked into.
and the only filter was my faulted mind.
I chose to study Media & Communication in
I couldn’t have anticipated the impact this
Port Elizabeth. University is definitely a stimulating
isolation would have on my life; judgement
environment, both intellectually and socially.
hardens your heart, but you can’t pick and
I loved it! I was learning so much, and I met
choose what you harden your heart to. In other
a lot of interesting people. But after quickly
words, you can’t have a heart of stone around
realising that I wouldn’t be able to withstand the
some people and a heart of flesh around
influences of my classmates (another weakness I
others—it’s one or the other. So by hardening my
didn’t want to admit out loud), I withdrew myself
heart, I lost the ability to determine good and
from social interaction completely and started
bad relationships at all. Not just relationships, I
spending increasing amounts of time by myself.
had hardened myself to my own toxic lifestyle
In hindsight, I had never fully appreciated the
choices. Pretty soon, I was doing exactly what I
value of my “safe” environment. So instead of
was trying to avoid, and I didn’t even care.
making sure I surround myself with people who will influence me in a positive way, I opted for
Now that I was now completely alone, I was an
isolation.
easy target to be torn to pieces. My relationships with my family were a mess; I saw even their
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I guess I should qualify what I mean by
earnest attempts to help me as judgement and
“isolation.” It is completely possible to be
condemnation, and I became defensive. My
surrounded by people and give all of the
studies took a knock from trying to balance a
appearances of having friends, and still be
job and a lifestyle of a borderline alcoholic. I
alone. I isolated myself, not physically, but
hated myself because I had suddenly become
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Photography: Charlie Ray
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[ No amount of second-hand experiences can prepare you for first-hand encounters. ]
everything I’d spent my life judging other people
so I took a chance and just decided to do it.
for. Of course, I stopped going to church, mostly because I was always hung-over on Sunday.
That weekend, I went to church for the first time
I can’t say that I stopped believing in God
in a long while. Yes, I saw people I knew from
because I had experienced enough of Him
VGY, and I think I even managed to convince
to know that He’s real. I just assumed that He
them my life was ok. I made it through the
stopped believing in me.
service, and quickly tried to sneak out before my cover was blown. As I was leaving, I heard
So, fast-forward five years, add a dose of shame,
someone call my name. I turn around to see
some pride (because there’s no way I was ever
Pastor Louis Els walking toward me; I didn’t think
going to admit I was doing anything wrong!) and
he ever knew my name, never mind remember
a whole lot of anger, and you get me about a
it after five years. I don’t remember the full
year ago. I was so ‘over’ my life; my boyfriend
encounter, but I do remember making an
and I had broken up, my job was terribly
awkward comment about tattoos and spending
depressing, and every attempt I made to try fix
the rest of the conversation wondering why I
my life came to nothing. I felt like a completely
even came. Then he said something about a
different person, like I had no control of my life or
job and that I must send him my details… I was
where it was going; like life was living me instead
confused.
of the other way around. The next few months were spent trying to It took one unexpected event to start the
come up with ANY other plan I could think
process of change in my life. A friend of mine
of so I didn’t have to admit this was the best
was making his annual surf trip to Jeffreys Bay,
move for me. I knew I couldn’t stay in PE—my
and he messaged me to meet up. I’d been
life was going nowhere fast. But all the right
avoiding Jbay because my life was a mess and I
doors started opening up for me; the university
had changed so much since I left. I was scared
allowed me to finish my last few subjects through
people would recognise me… or worse, that they
correspondence, and my boss was actually
wouldn’t. But I had an urge to go see my friend,
happy for me because he knew I wasn’t enjoying
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[ My overly rational brain couldn’t come up with any more arguments to refuse. So I sucked it up and made the move. ]
my work there. My overly rational brain couldn’t
steal, kill, and destroy. That same enemy who
come up with any more arguments to refuse.
convinces you that you are alone, rendering
So I sucked it up and made the move.
you powerless and ineffective.
Honestly, I wanted to run away almost daily.
But Isaiah 58:11 says,
To go from living wild and free for five years to
“The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy
working for a church is... well, it was more than
your needs in a sun-scorched land and will
a lifestyle change, it was a dying of self. But
strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-
the thought that kept me grounded whenever
watered garden, like a spring whose waters
I wanted to run was when Pastor Louis came to
never fail.”
speak with me. I figured that if he can accept me in the state that I was and actually let me
God showed me that He was with me through
work for his church, then God doesn’t disqualify
all of my rebellion and independence. He was
me either. And thus, God began to dismantle the
gracious enough to lead me back from a sun-
walls that I had built around my heart.
scorched land into a community where I could be built back up again, where I can see His heart
What I am learning now is the Importance of
for me and know Him as my Father.
Relationship. As Psalm 68:6 says, “God sets the lonely in We call it “putting up walls” when we feel afraid,
families, He leads out the prisoners with singing.”
our feeble attempt at defending ourselves.
Not as a step-brother or a step-sister, but as sons
We think that, by putting barriers up between
and daughters. Not to live off other people’s
ourselves and others, we’re keeping ourselves
second-hand experiences, but to live our own
safe—that if we aren’t connected to them, they
purpose-filled journeys and experience lives of
can’t hurt us or influence us—but it’s not true.
abundant love, mercy, and grace in Him! n
The reality is that the people in your life ARE your defence. Having the right people in your life will protect you from the real enemy who comes to
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Photography: Amy Mason
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IF YOU HAD ASKED me years ago what I wanted
About four years ago, I could feel that long-
to do with my life, I would have stumbled over
extinguished flame deep within my heart
words like “a teacher,” or maybe “a physiologist.”
sparking back to life. I started taking pictures
The words “media” or “creative” would’ve never
again, and would write stories and poetry here
crossed my lips. Yet, here I find myself thrown
and there. Of course, the fear of judgment still
into the ever-changing world of media where
hindered me, but then I suddenly found myself
creativity is pulled out of me daily. I laugh now when I look back and see how God has been setting me up all my life to ‘FALL INTO THE CREATIVE.’ As a little girl, I was fascinated with cameras, forever filling my dad’s phone with pictures of our garden, cat, or whatever else I could capture on film. I would drive anyone with a camera crazy because I wouldn’t stop
free-falling back into creativity. I surrounded myself with people who INSPIRED and ENCOURAGED me to create, and these people opened doors for me in the world of
pestering them until I could get my hands on it.
media. Before I knew it, I had stopped my
Both of my parents are creative; my mum was
videographer who taught me everything I know
an aspiring artist, and my dad loved all things music―in fact, he had even dreamed of acting on a theatre stage. I remember spending hours as a child writing stories or painting. As I got older, though, people would tell me that “one can’t make it in the world of art and media.” Sadly, I believed them. I had seen how my parents’ dreams had died because of what the world had thrown at them. Slowly, without even realising it, the flame of art, media, and creativity had died within me.
phycology degree and was working for a local about filming and video editing. Just like that, I FELL IN LOVE WITH ART AND MEDIA AGAIN. I could not imagine my life without my daily dose of creativity. I suppose what I’ve realised through this process of ‘falling into the creative’ is that the closer we draw to Jesus, the more we realise what we were created for! In other words, the more I lay down my life, the easier it becomes to pick up the dreams and desires He has placed deep within me. I was born to be creative! n By Ruth Pasques
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Photography: Raelynne Blaak
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[ Proverbs 8:22-31 ]
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The Lord formed me from the beginning, before he created anything else. I was appointed in ages past, at the very first, before the earth began. I was born before the oceans were created, before the springs bubbled forth their waters. Before the mountains were formed, before the hills, I was bornâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; before he had made the earth and fields and the first handfuls of soil. I was there when he established the heavens, when he drew the horizon on the oceans. I was there when he set the clouds above, when he established springs deep in the earth. I was there when he set the limits of the seas, so they would not spread beyond their boundaries. And when he marked off the earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s foundations, I was the architect at his side. I was his constant delight, rejoicing always in his presence. And how happy I was with the world he created; how I rejoiced with the human family!
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[ Marlene Terblanche ]
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“performance addict” I WAS BORN AGAIN as a little girl of only 6 years
Bankruptcy is extremely hard… it doesn’t just
old. As long as I can remember, I loved going to
hurt you, it hurts everybody. In all of the chaos,
church and reading God’s Word. I am the eldest
we tried our best to protect our boys, and we
of four girls, grew up on a farm, and our parents
deliberately worked together as husband and
really loved us and cared for us. My sisters and I
wife and we never lacked anything. Where we
were excellent students, and it wasn’t uncommon
could, we took responsibility for the outstanding
for us to come 1st in our grades. And yet, I can
debt, and we clearly heard God say not to
still remember taking those “grand slam” report
declare ‘ourselves’ bankrupt. We still had our
cards home, only to hear Dad comment that,
1st business and we carried on with that.
although it seems to be brilliant, he feels that we can work harder and do even better. A deep
Sounds like we had this all under control and
disappointment for any little girl. As a result,
worked out, doesn’t it? However, I had never felt
“performance” and “working hard” was always
so vulnerable in my life. It was during this time
my motto and the way I lived my life.
that I resorted to the one thing that I knew how to do… work more, work harder, and work longer
Fast forward a couple of years where I met my
hours every day. I love my family and I was proud
husband at university. We soon got married and
of myself that I never missed any event that was
were blessed with two boys. In September, 1997,
important to them. I even went to bed with my
we started our own business, and a year later
husband because that is the right thing to do, but
another business [a feeding company]. Three
I would wait until he was asleep and then get up
years after starting the feeding company, the
and keep on working. Soon, I was taking on more
business was in trouble and eventually declared
work than I could handle. And yet, my co-workers
bankrupt. I remember how God told me “not to
were praising me, and it felt good to hear them
blame but to pray and to love my husband.”
acknowledging me for all of my hard work. I absolutely loved all of these praise reports and I really felt validated.
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â&#x20AC;&#x153;On the home front, my husband and children were really suffering with a wife and mother who was always tired, always irritable, and suffering from terrible migraines.â&#x20AC;?
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On the home front, my husband and children
that I felt bankrupt as a person! I had to finally
were really suffering with a wife and mother who
acknowledge that I was out of control, that I
was always tired, always irritable, and suffering
spent too much time away from my family, and
from terrible migraines. Despite feeling physically
that I was simply addicted to all of the praises
terrible, I was still professing to be in control and
from people at work. Performance is an ugly
could still bake a cake in the middle of the night
form of deception.
(mostly because of an inability to say NO). To turn away from that life was the hardest but At one desperate point, when I fearfully realized
most liberating thing I had to do. I had to stay
that “I am going to lose my family if I keep going
close to the One who knew all about me and
like this,” I clearly heard God’s voice saying that
still loved me with an unfailing love. I had to ask
He will leave the 99 sheep and fetch me. I wish
my husband and children to forgive me and to
I could end here and tell you of my immediate
take me back into their lives. I had to trust my
obedience to His Word, but unfortunately, I didn’t
Father that He would provide for us, because part
change immediately.
of being so deceived is the lie that everything depends on how hard you work.
The turning point for me finally came when a special and brave friend lovingly confronted
Looking back at this story now, I can recognize
me. She told me that, “You are forever tired and
that it all happened so suddenly… the crisis,
working hard, and complaining about it, but I
the deception, the desperation, the healthy
don’t see you changing anything.”
confrontation, and finally the deliverance. I thank God for giving me my family back and
Her comment, as well as my youngest son telling
miraculously restoring our finances! My heart is
me that “I would rather have less stuff and have
grateful towards my loving Father who saved me
a Mom who is working less,” made me realize
from being a proud, stubborn workaholic! n
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B U T M Y L I F E I S W O R T H N OT H I N G TO M E U N L E S S I U S E I T F O R FINISHING THE WORK ASSIGNED M E BY T H E LO R D J E S U S â&#x20AC;&#x201D; T H E W O R K O F T E L L I N G OT H E R S T H E G O O D NEWS ABOUT THE WONDERFUL G R AC E O F G O D . AC T S 2 0 : 2 4
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Photography: Pinterest
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Photography: unsplash.com
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N OT E V E R Y T H I N G H A P P E N S F O R A R E A S O N H e i s a l l t o g e t h e r, c o m p l e te l y g o o d .
K A R A N OT H N AG E L
“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.”
and those around us, and the accusations of our relentless foe. Why is God allowing this to
Have you ever said that? Or had it been said to
happen? Where is He? What have I done wrong?
you? Especially during times of trial, suffering, pain, or uncertainty?
If everything happens for a reason, then what is the reason? What is the reason for someone
Looking back over my life, in some of the most
getting cancer? What is the divine reasoning
painful seasons, this little comfort phrase has fallen
for a marriage break-up or a child dying? The
out of the mouths of loving, well-intentioned,
‘everything happens for a reason’ catch-phrase
good Christian people. “I know it’s hard, but
doesn’t help. It’s meant to help us find meaning
everything happens for a reason.” But over the
in difficulty, but ultimately, it is so dangerous
last few years, whenever I’ve heard this phrase,
because we end up crediting God with things that
out of my spirit has risen a resounding, “No!”
are outside of His nature and His Word, and we present a false image of God that a broken world
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
cannot fathom believing in, let alone trusting.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Thankfully, there is good news in His Word. There is an element of truth in so far as if a drunk
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things
person gets into a car and hits another car and
work together for good to them that love God,
someone dies, yes, it happened for a reasons---as
to them who are the called according to his
a consequence of the drunk driver’s actions. But it
purpose.”
didn’t happen as an act of a puppet-master God who intentionally purposes both good and bad to
All things, whether good or bad, work together
teach humanity a lesson.
for good to those who love God.
One of the challenges of the Christian walk is
The New International Version says it this way,
to navigate the gap between truth and fact,
“And we know that in all things God works for
especially when we’re in those in-between
the good of those who love him.”
seasons, in the stretch. In seasons of excruciating pain, or loss, or trial. It’s during those times when
The Amplified Bible puts it like this, “And we know
we have to wrestle with questions, both ours
[with great confidence] that God [who is deeply
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concerned about us] causes all things to work
is full of sickness, pain, and suffering as a result of
together [as a plan] for good for those who
our disobedience in the Garden. And now,
love God.”
the whole of creation waits and groans to come into perfection.
This is not saying that ‘everything happens for a reason.’ It is saying that, no matter what happens,
But, Father God, our God, is as much present
it’s going to work out for my good! Isn’t that
and good in the waiting and the brokenness as
amazing? He doesn’t just work it for random good,
He is in the seasons of triumph and jubilation.
or for His good, but for MY good. It is saying that
He actively works to bring about good in every
no matter what happens, no matter how hard or
season while honouring the parameters of
painful or broken, He will work it out for our good.
freedom and choice.
God’s heart for us, His nature and His intention
He doesn’t cause the pain to teach us a lesson,
towards us, was fully represented at Calvary.
but in His kindness, He brings purpose to the pain.
The writer of Hebrews tells us that Jesus was the radiance of God’s glory and the exact
It is this picture of God that daily gives me
representation of His nature.
tremendous confidence and hope that anchors my soul. He is unfailing love and unwaveringly
WHEN WE SEE JESUS, WE SEE THE FATHER.
good. We are loved and prized by Majesty. Friends, we have to settle that in our hearts, He
Jesus rebuked infirmity and storms at sea, and
is good, His intentions towards us are good, His
He died for our sin, sickness, and disease. What
thoughts about us are good, so that in times of
possible reason could God have for death,
trial, hope in Him will anchor our soul.
sickness, and trial when Jesus came that we may have LIFE? When He came into the world to save
In all this, here lies the challenges---to so behold
it, not condemn it? HE IS LOVE, and there is no
Him who is The Truth, our Jesus, so that we cannot
fear or torment in love, in Him.
help but align our thoughts, our hearts, our very vocabulary with Him so that we may accurately
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Our earthly life doesn’t always reflect His original
reflect and resound who He is to the world He
and perfect intent for us. We live on a planet that
so loves. n
H E D O E S N â&#x20AC;&#x2122; T C AU S E T H E PA I N T O T E AC H U S A LESSON, BUT IN HIS KINDNESS, HE BRINGS P U R P O S E T O T H E PA I N .
Photography: unsplash.com
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J u dy S c h e l l i n g e r h o u t
A LIFE FLOODED WITH MIRACLES WITH A HEART FULL OF GRATEFULNESS, I can say
The enemy quickly came and tried to silence my
that I am a miracle. My mom was born with
faith and make me believe that this wasn’t really a
cystic fibrosis and wasn’t expected to see her
miracle. And I believed it. That is, until a few years
teen years. When she surpassed all expectations,
ago when I found myself explaining away another
doctors then told her that she would never bear
miracle, believing that I just hadn’t been good
children. And so the journey of miracles began…
enough as a daughter to be on the receiving end
and so it continues!
of miracles. I’ve come a long way since then. Thank goodness!
My name is Judy Schellingerhout. I grew up in Jeffreys Bay for most of my life. In 2007, I got
In 2012, I was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid
married and moved to the Gamtoos Valley.
Arthritis (RA). I went from being a very active and
Whether or not I wanted it to happen this way,
independent woman to someone who couldn’t
my husband, DC, got to know me as the girl with
dress herself, open taps, carry grocery bags, or
the heart problem. I had struggled almost all
many other things. It’s one of the reasons why I
my life with what doctors thought was yuppy flu.
had to stop teaching. It was just taking too much
I was eventually diagnosed in 2001 with MVPS
toll on my body. RA had taken over every joint
when my heart began beating at around 200
to the extent that I am still on a mild but weekly
beats per minute (instead of 70bpm). My heart
chemotherapy treatment. Though I still have a lot
was too small. I was mostly able to control it with
of pain (especially at night), I’m doing very well,
medication, but when I became pregnant with
and I’m very grateful for where I am today.
our first son, I drastically needed a miracle as my meds were affecting his heart rate too.
Retiring from teaching at the age of thirty-three was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Little
When I was first diagnosed, I remembered the
did I know, though, what the next chapter of my
doctor telling me that “you have a ‘one in a
life would look like, or why God had brought me
million’ chance of being healed when you
to this early retirement.
become pregnant… but don’t count on it.” So we didn’t count on it; we prayed about it. And
In a nutshell, this is what the following three years
then I became that ‘one in a million.’ Tests
looked like:
confirmed that my heart had enlarged to normal
• October 2013—my dad was diagnosed with a
size by about week 15 of my pregnancy.
very aggressive, incurable cancer. With eight 44
rapid tumours in his back, he was given a 1% chance of survival. My mom already had her hands full helping to nurse her parents, so my sisters and I immediately jumped in to help. • N ovember 2013—one of the tumours was so
was unnerving. • July 2014—my 2-year-old had raging fevers and ended up in the hospital for a while. • Aug 2014—my dad was miraculously healed!
big, it broke my dad’s shoulder, but because
DC’s words had come true that “Even with a
they couldn’t operate on him, it had to stay
w1% chance of survival, God CAN add two
that way for a couple of months. • January 2014—my dad’s mom was also diagnosed with cancer at the age of 94. Too old for treatment, we stepped in to help there too. It was our privilege; difficult, but not a burden.
zeros!” • November 2014—my dad, after months of walking with a broken shoulder, eventually got a shoulder replacement. • December 2014—two days before my sister’s wedding, my mom rolled her vehicle. She
• March 2014—she lost her battle.
miraculously missed an oncoming truck
• April 2014—my 4-year-old son had to have
and walked out in a pretty good condition.
an operation on both of his eyes. We were daily in tears. • Early June 2014—renovations on our home began. It started to rain, and our house (with everything in it) got flooded. • Late June 2014—a week after the flood, my
The vehicle was a write-off. • March 2015—we almost lost my dad to a massive blood clot in his neck which caused a stroke. • June 2015—my mom underwent surgery. Three weeks later, she had to fight for her life
dad’s heart rate fell to zero as the chemo was
after getting a post-op infection. It became
affecting his heart. My sister and I returned to my
so life-threatening that she had to be operated
parents’ home at 1:00 am only to find people breaking into their house. While trying to sort out the house, the burglars were busy breaking into my car. Thankfully, we were not hurt, and our timing (along with the neighbourhood watch)
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was so perfect that nothing was stolen. But it
on again. • Sep 2015—my sister’s health was ridiculously attacked. She also underwent surgery. • Nov 2015—my son’s eyes had deteriorated very quickly and had to be operated on again.
Unfortunately, they had to give him medication
I’ve always lived with a deep sense of
which blocked his vision for the first few of hours
gratefulness—in and toward everything. I have
after surgery, so, in essence, he woke up ‘blind.’
no idea why, but the one thing I never lost was
Nothing could have prepared him, or us, for
gratefulness. And the one thing I’m confident
that. Two more weeks of patching. A trying time.
about is that gratefulness opens the door to
• January 2016—my other gran eventually lost
your next miracle.
her battle with MS. Once again, we jumped right in weeks before this to help her. • A week after her death, we found out my dad’s cancer had returned. • February 2016—five weeks after my ouma died, my oupa also died. It was a very tough
Many times after receiving a miracle, I would think, “Surely, this is the last miracle He can give us.” But what I’ve learned is that His miracles never run out on you and that, no matter what you have or haven’t done, they cannot be earned.
five weeks, visiting him as much as we possibly could. • May 2016—my mom underwent massive back
No words can express how grateful my family is for all the prayers that have been uttered on
surgery. On the same day, my dad had to have
our behalf. On low days, other people’s prayers
his heart shocked.
carried us; their faith was contagious. It’s how
• A week later—my dad ended up back in ICU as
God graced me through the low and ugly days.
his heart rate had dropped to one beat every 3
So often, usually right before I would want to give
seconds.
up, the next miracle came raining down, like drinking from a well that never runs dry. We would
To tell you the truth, I don’t remember a lot of
often find ourselves staring another victory in the
details of this season. It was so traumatic. Time
face, knowing that we entered that mess empty-
and again, I have been reminded by friends of
handed. That’s how we knew IT WAS HIM and not
all the miracles we experienced. There wasn’t a
us. It so beautifully revealed His glory.
single trial that wasn’t met with a miracle. It was a season of digging deep. At times, I lost all hope
Three things stood out to me during the times
and the capacity to carry on gracefully.
when we were waiting for a miracle.
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GRATEFULNESS OPENS THE DOOR TO YOUR NEXT MIRACLE
1. The best way to overcome discouragement is to
around you. Is it any wonder the enemy is set on
pour encouragement into someone else. This
taking you out? He knows who God created you
season grew so much compassion in my heart
to be & he fears it. But rest in this, dear one, long
for others.
before you were ever targeted by the enemy you
2. The more we invited Him into every crisis,
were chosen by God!” ~ Lisa Bevere
the more often miracles would happen. Sometimes, though, we didn’t see them
And today as I write this, I can’t help but be
because we were busy looking for that one big
reminded of how very faithful He is when you
miracle, when instead, God gave us a few small
are in a valley! He still holds it all, He establishes
miracles before the big one.
peace for us, and He will give you beauty for
3. I had to learn to guard my heart aggressively
your ashes!
and examine my thought life diligently. During a season like this, especially on low days, you
Without a shadow of doubt in my mind, I know
can’t follow your feelings—you have to push
that God is bigger than my fears, bigger than
past them.
my pain, and bigger than the craziest miracle I need. Miracles. They are part of His beautiful,
Yes, there were times when I would wonder
redemptive story for our lives. Laying our identities
“Why me?” It wasn’t that that I ever once
in Him, we can rest in His sovereignty.
doubted His existence, but sometimes I questioned His goodness.
Even now as I still look to Him for healing from Rheumatoid Arthritis, I choose to trust His heart,
The other day, God gave me the answer as I read
knowing that His plans for me are good! He’s
this quote:
got this one, too! n
“God has NOT positioned you for normal. He has appointed you for signs, wonders & miracles. You are His chosen instrument to bring the light of His Kingdom into a victorious clash with the darkness
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5 STEPS FROM EMPTY-NEST TO CONTENTEDNESS BY SHAUNA BL AAK Photography: Impact Photography
HAVE YOU EVER woken up and wondered,
the Tank Engine. You can imagine what a shock
“Whose life is this?” It’s been that kind of a year
it’s been to navigate this transition period. No
for me. I am the mom of four of the cutest little
one ever tells you that food will lose its flavour
babies you can even imagine! Cute and cuddly,
for three months after your child leaves home.
and they give the best hugs. They’re gorgeous!
But I suppose that even if they did try to tell me, I wouldn’t have listened. I didn’t want to hear all of
Except… oh, wait! They aren’t babies anymore!
the negative things people have to say about the
Overnight, they’ve become teenagers! Fourteen,
Empty-Nest years. I don’t want to live my life as a
fifteen, eighteen, and twenty (next week). How
‘victim’ of my circumstances. Not me.
did this happen? I finally mastered the art of raising toddlers and managing homework―I’m
So, here is a list of the FIVE THINGS I LEARNED
not ready for teenagers to leave home and
THIS YEAR about how to transition from feeling
head for college.
the “Empty-Nest” to daily living in a place of Contentedness.
But that’s exactly what’s happening. Our eldest daughter, Raelynne, is currently living in Australia
1. Get a Life of your Own
and attending the TV & Media Program at
Seriously, it’s time. If you’ve spent the last
Hillsong College. I can’t believe she’s been gone
eighteen years waiting on your kids hand and
for almost nine months already. Our oldest son,
foot, then it’s high time you did something for
Joshua, will be graduating high school in three
yourself. LEARN. EXPLORE. Revisit your Bucket
months’ time and moving back to Canada to live
List. What are some of the things you’ve always
with his grandparents, get a job, and attend the
wanted to do? Do you want to go back to
Jazz & Contemporary Music Program at Grant
school, take an art class, or learn to dance? Or
MacEwan University. What?!
perhaps you’ve always wanted to travel; then do that. It doesn’t matter if it’s 50 km down the
In my head, I still see them as toddlers, tucked
road or 5000 miles across the ocean. It’s time to
into their spongy chairs and watching Thomas
dream again!
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This year, I finally started my writing business.
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) feeling hits, inviting
Writing, editing, blogging, freelancing, you
people over for coffee or meals helps to ease
name it. It has been like ‘gas in my tank’ when
the sadness.
the tank was barely running on fumes. And the truly inspiring thing is… Kids LOVE to see their
Loneliness is best cured by opening up your
parents succeed!
heart to others.
They’ll be proud of you when you follow
It works every time. The bonus is that it also
your passion. 2. G et out of your Four Walls and Get Involved There’s nothing worse than wasting your days feeling sorry for yourself. Yuck. Stop it now. There’s still too much LIFE in you to sit at
are on the earth, they can always build ‘family.’ 4. S tay in Touch Modern technology is amazing. A hundred years ago, when someone would go overseas,
home alone.
family and friends wouldn’t hear from them for
Get out of the house and spend your energies
is our friend. Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp…
helping people. Invest, serve, and volunteer. Ask Father where you should get involved, and then DO IT. Whether you spend your time at the local Mom & Baby Clinic or just join your church choir, I guarantee that when you lay your head on your pillow at the end of the day, you’ll feel accomplished! 3. Invite People INTO your Space As an international family, this is something we’ve done regularly over the last decade, and we’ve found that it’s one of the best ways to deal with homesickness. Whenever that
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shows your kids that, regardless of where they
YEARS. It’s not like that anymore―technology they’re all brilliant. So use them to your advantage. The time zone in Australia is such that we can call Raelynne on the ride home from school (via FaceTime Audio), and all of the kids can catch up with each other. It sometimes feels like she’s just down the block. But there’s also a word-of-warning here---don’t smother them! Just because you CAN call them all day long doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Remember, they are busy with studies and work schedules, maturing and growing. It’s not their job to fill your love tank every day, nor do they
“KIDS LOVE TO SEE THEIR PARENTS SUCCEED!”
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“WHEN WE KNOW WHAT GOD HAS SAID ABOUT THEM AND THE FUTURE THAT HE HAS PLANNED FOR THEM, IT IS SO MUCH EASIER TO SURVIVE THEIR ABSENCE.”
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have enough mental or emotional energy for
our children than we can even ask or imagine.
that. My advice = Send them regular little notes
(Read Ephesians 3:20 again.)
(with no agenda) reminding them that you love them and are thinking about them. And then
I wish there was a magic pill we could take that
follow their lead. Let them decide if and when
would remove the sting of loneliness caused by
they want to Skype in person. (Yes, you can
our child’s absence, but there’s not. Instead, we
beg them to call you sometimes. The struggle
must survive by feeding our spirits and souls with
is real.)
the truth of God’s Word that brings new life to our sore hearts.
5. K now what God is Saying This is perhaps the most important factor in
I leave you with Habakkuk 3:17-18 (but I’m going
releasing your children to their destiny. I’m not
to quote it from the SBV---Shauna Blaak Version):
just talking about career assessment stuff here. I’m talking about hearing what God says about your kids; it means having a faith-vision for their life and purpose. When we KNOW what God has said about them and the future that He has planned for them, it is so much easier to survive their absence. Over the years, we’ve had numerous prophetic words that have helped to form this faith-vision
Though there be no fingerprints on the walls nor artwork on the fridge, Though I cook too much food for dinner and ache each time I pass your room, Though each waking minute again reminds me how much I miss you still, YET WILL I PRAISE HIM! I will Rejoice in God my Saviour! n www.blaaklistwriters.com
for each of our children. Occasionally, these prophetic words come from other people, but sometimes they come from our times alone with the Father. We must always remember that He has got FAR BETTER things planned for
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Photography: unsplash.com
WEAR BY R U T H PA S Q U E S
DENIM ON DENIM This 80s “denim on denim” trend has been a no-no probably since the 80s, but we are proud to announce that it is back! And we couldn’t be happier. We know that most of you have secretly loved this trend, but of course, because we subconsciously feel the need to keep with the trends, you’ve put it aside. Well, ladies, you are now free to embrace the head to toe denim look again. What’s better than a denim top and skirt to march into summer with, or if you’re in the northern hemisphere, then wrap yourself away in an oversized denim jacket and your favourite pair of jeans? Denim up, darlings! n
Photography: Pinterest
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EAT
MRS HUAN G’S FRIED RICE
BY ANNE HUANG
This recipe has been passed down from my mother, I learnt how to make this when I was 10 years old because I loved it so much. it is the easiest way to use up any left over rice, vegies, and meat. Enjoy it as a meal or, as in my family, an afternoon snack when we got home from school. INGREDIENTS: •
1 cup of cooked rice
•
1 stalk of spring onion, diced
•
2 eggs, scrambled
•
3 sprigs of coriander (optional)
•
1/2 cup of peas
•
1/2 teaspoon of vegetable oil
•
1 carrot, diced
•
soy sauce to taste
•
2-3 rashes of bacon, diced
•
a few drops of sesame oil
Heat up a wok (pan) with some vegetable oil and cook the scrambled eggs. Set aside. Fry bacon, carrot and peas till cooked, and then add cooked rice, scrambled egg, soy sauce and sesame oil. Stir through until combined and rice is heated through. Just before you dish up, stir through spring onion and coriander. Enjoy hot! n
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Photography: unsplash.com
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