THIRTY ONE: Issue 7

ISSUE SEVEN

TA R Y N J O Y N E R W O O D

MARLENE TERBLANCHE

ME2 MAGAZINE

MARIAN COERTZEN

KARA NOTHNAGEL

EDNA ELS

B E R N A D E T T E S WA R T Z

JUDY SCHELLINGERHOUT

#7 CONTENTS P O W E R N O T E F R O M E D N A

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D A D D Y ’ S G I R L S 5

- Marian Coertzen

H O P E 1 3

- Bernadette Swartz S E C O N D H A N D L I V I N G 1 9

-Taryn Joynerwood C R E AT I V E C O L L E C T I V E

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- Falling into Creativity P E R F O R M A N C E A D D I C T 3 3

- Marlene Terblanche NOT EVERYTHING HAPPENS F O R A R E A S O N 3 9

- Kara Nothnagel A LIFE FLOODED WITH MIRACLES

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- Judy Schellingerhout MOM’S THE WORD:5 STEPS FROM

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E M P T Y- N E S T T O C O N T E N T E D N E S S

- Shauna Blaak W E A R & E AT

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© This publication is produced by Victory Media for me2 M e n t o r i n g J e ff re y s B a y. A l l a rt i c l e s a re w r i tt e n b y m e m b e r s o f Victory Church unless otherwise stated. This magazine is not f o r s a l e . Fo r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n o n a n y o f t h e a r t i c l e s , d o n o t hesitate to email us at me2@victorychurch.org.za w w w. m e 2 m e n t o r i n g . c o m / / w w w. v i c t o r y c h u rc h . o rg . z a

Photography: Sherah Krause

Photography: Koring Kriek

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>>POWERNOTE<<

Hello friends!

be harder to believe than fiction” and that “I’ve become pretty unoffendable in the

Have you ever said something flippantly in

process!” Haha, it’s pretty ironic that, even

a humorous way to your friends that evoked

as I write this, my auto-correct has put a red

lots of laughter and even a friendly rebuke

line under the word unoffendable (meaning

simultaneously? Thankfully, our close friends

“no replacement found”) because THERE IS

are a safe place where we don’t always have

NO SUCH THING AS BEING UNOFFENDABLE.

to measure our words.

AS LONG AS YOU HAVE BREATH IN YOU, YOU Because January is my birthday month and

HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE OFFENDED, NEVER

it coincides with just about every event

MIND OFFENDING SOMEONE EL SE.

you can think of, I rarely get to celebrate my birthday with my ‘homies!’ So on the

Well, my friend, you can imagine the setup

rare occasion that we congregate around

that lay before me in the months ahead.

a restaurant table, it ’s a real treat. This

It was as if the enemy had overheard my

past January, we had such an occasion.

comment and had set up an obstacle course

Precious friends, talking ‘at the speed of

to trip me up. Offense is not just a teaching

light’ to catch up on events, and filling our

we do in Maturity101, offense is still the #1

‘relational tanks’ that got pretty empty over

device of the enemy to SEVER relationships,

the Christmas break.

cause bitterness, isolate us from others, and make us easy prey for the enemy.

Surprisingly, we got onto the topic of ‘Relationships and the things that sabotage

The definition of “sever” is:

them’―pretty intense conversation for a tea

• t o DIVIDE by CUTTING or SLICING,

party, wouldn’t you say?

especially SUDDENLY and FORCIBLY, • t o END A CONNECTION or REL ATIONSHIP, &

Having been in ministry for over thirty years,

• to SEPARATE, DISJOIN, or DIVIDE.

I naively stated that, at times, “Real life can

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So, in retrospect, it was a very dumb

aborts destiny and purpose, and imprisons

statement to make—a statement that the

you in a fortress of offense.

enemy-of-my-soul used to roll out the opportunities to get offended from all

FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY THAT UNLOCKS

directions and in every conceivable way!

THIS PRISON CELL!

I’ve learned, once again, that the only way

Forgiveness is a choice―but it’s not a choice

to not get offended is to NOT take ‘the bait.’

that we can make and maintain solely by

Yes, offenses are given, but whether or

our willpower. We need the GRACE of God

not you TAKE IT remains a CHOICE that has

to enable and empower us. We need a

eternal consequences.

revelation of His love that transforms us and enables us to forgive, release, and bless

We live in a fallen world. At times, we are

from the stronghold of His righteousness and

affected by other people’s transgressions

grace and not our own self-righteousness.

and choices. Unresolved hurt causes prolonged pain that leads to a root of

MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGEMENT!

bitterness that defiles you and those around you.

When we allow His mercy to triumph over judgement in our lives, we become a

The Word admonishes us in Hebrews 12:15 NIV, “See to it that no one FALLS SHORT of the

conduit of His abundant grace and gift of righteousness.

GRACE of God and that no bitter root GROWS UP to cause TROUBLE and DEFILE many.”

May we look a little more like Him at the end of the day. And, please, remind me to keep

Normally, roots grow down, but a root of

the conversation light over our next chai lattè!

bitterness defies gravity and grows up! It

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causes trouble, and it infects not only your

WITH MUCH LOVE,

life but the lives of those around you. It

EDS

This past Januar y, we had such an occasion. Precious friends, talking ‘at the speed of light’ to catch up on events, and filling our ‘relational tanks’

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MARIAN COERTZEN Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Girl - my journey into the heart of the Father

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THE SIGHT AND FRAGRANCE of a frangipani tree

before having supper on the beach. Dad often

take me back to my childhood. We had one

carried me into the sea. I would cling to him as

growing in our yard at the front gate. We called it

tightly as a mussel on a rock as he ventured out

the “Baby” tree because only children that were

beyond the breakers. It was exhilarating for a little

small enough to be supported by the soft branches

girl to confront such danger but feel totally safe

were allowed to climb it. I had two older brothers

with her Dad.

that had outgrown the tree, so it became my tree.

I don’t remember when I first became aware of It was my favourite place to wait for Dad to return

the change in the atmosphere in our home. Dad

home from work. He was in the military and came

became withdrawn... distracted... silent. Mom

home in an army vehicle, along with other fathers

tried to keep life as normal as possible without

in the neighbourhood. My excitement would

drawing attention to Dad’s ‘absence.’ He was

mount as I peered through the branches to see

physically present but emotionally absent.

Dad climb off the ‘army bus’ and walk toward the front gate. Eager to surprise him, it was hard not

In 1969, I turned 15. In July that year, my oldest

to giggle as I tried to hide on the sparsely leafed

brother Ted and I attended a weekend youth

branches. He always played along, acting very

camp. Late on Saturday afternoon, our cousin

surprised to see me perched in the tree.

Don came to the dormitory where I was sitting on the top bunk. He told me the minister from

As Dad carried me up the pathway into our

the church we attended wanted to see me.

house, my arms would wind tightly around his

As I looked at the expression on Don’s face,

neck. I remember the smell of his uniform, the

a strong sense of ‘knowing’ overwhelmed me.

brass buttons and leather belt, all mingled with

I threw myself into his arms gasping, “My Daddy!

the smell of Brylcreem (‘hair gel’ that was more

My Daddy!”

like car grease than hair product). Most of all, I remember the sense of belonging. I felt loved,

Don carried me across the courtyard to where my

safe, and so happy to be Daddy’s girl!

brother and our minister were waiting. The winter sky seemed pitch black. Suddenly, the darkness turned

Our family was far from wealthy, but life was fun.

into an amazing scene and I experienced what I

My two older brothers were my heroes. Mom’s

now know to be an open-eyed vision. I saw a field

strengths were her gentleness and sense of

of tall, golden grass below a brilliant blue sky. My

humour. Some of our most fun times as a family

Mom, two brothers, and I were standing in the field. I

were spent on Durban beach. After a hot, humid

couldn’t make sense of this picture, but it confirmed

day, Mom would pack a picnic, and we’d all swim

my fears—my Dad was no longer with us.

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We sat mostly in stunned silence as the minister

became a safe place for me to talk openly about

drove us home. The only words I remember him

the pain generated by my Dad’s suicide and

saying were, “Ted, Marian, I have to tell you that

other destructive experiences that had brought

your Dad shot himself.” Suicide in those days

guilt, shame, and confusion.

(within religious circles) was deemed to be part of the “unpardonable sin.” It generated a deep

God also gave me the interpretation of the vision

sense of shame and only the bravest would dare

I’d received at the time of my dad’s death (four

talk about it. Counseling for us as a family was

years earlier). The golden grass represented

sadly lacking, regardless of whether it came

wheat. He said, “Marian, the vision was My

from people at church, school, or the medical

promise that I would take the four of you and

profession. When my school marks plummeted,

plant you in the Bread of Life.”

the only counsel I received was that I should give up any thought of ever going to university. We

Mom went to be with Jesus in 2011 at the age

were left to carry the excruciating pain, shame,

of ninety. She lived passionately for Him for 32

and confusion in the confines of our own hearts.

years. My brothers came to the Lord shortly after I did; they continue to live Jesus-centered lives

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This experience gave me a very distorted view

and carry the Father’s love into their families and

of God as a loving Father. The pain in my heart

communities.

transformed into rebellion against God and I

openly confessed I was an atheist. Even after

I completed my studies when I was twenty-three

surrendering my life to Jesus, I had the mistaken

years old. At that time, I heard the Lord say

idea that the Father was vaguely interested in

clearly, “I have a man for you.” But I responded

me, but only because I’d repented, submitted to

by saying, “Thanks, Lord, but please put him on

His Son, and was attempting to clean up my act.

hold for a moment; I’ve just finished four years of

In retrospect, I realise that—during those ugly,

study, and I’d like to experience life after ‘varsity!’”

rebellious, pre-Christian days—it was the sacrificial

Father’s idea of a ‘moment’ became a fourteen-

love of the Father that drew me to Himself.

year journey...

While studying for a degree (yes, I went to

Immediately after graduating, I joined Youth With

university and got a degree!), some Christians

A Mission (YWAM) and embraced their slogan as

befriended me and invited me to a Bible study.

my life’s purpose, “To know God and make Him

Despite being more interested in making friends

known.” For almost seven years, while engaged

than studying the Bible, I encountered Jesus. From

internationally in discipleship training, evangelism,

the start, God put mentors in my life. They quickly

and community living, the Father laid a

My father in his military uniform

Me at age 4

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foundation for me to understand and experience

Eve to Adam just like an earthly father walks his

the truth about Himself as a loving Father. I had

precious daughter down the aisle and presents

the privilege of sitting under the ministry of Floyd

her to her man.

McClung, Loren Cunningham, Tom and Di Hallas, and many others.

How I met and married the man of my dreams is another full-length story. Father’s fingerprints

At the age of thirty, I returned home to South

covered every detail. We’ve now been married

Africa and let Father know I was ready now for

for 25 years, and the storms that threaten most

that man He had for me. But the journey was

marriages have served only to make us cling

only halfway there.

to the Father and each other. We have three awesome children. My step-daughter was

The next part of the journey was spent working as

‘birthed’ in my heart, but my biological clock

a professional nurse. Many times, the foundations

held out long enough for me to give birth to two

that had been laid in YWAM were tested, but the

sons, the first when I was thirty-eight and the

Father was undeniably present as I navigated my

second at forty-one. What a joy!

Christian walk through very un-Christian situations.

Once again, He gave me mentors who spoke

The world measures maturity by assessing the level

Words of Life to me and drew my attention to His

of independence a person displays financially,

faithful character.

socially, and in every other area. But in God’s Kingdom, maturity is measured but our ability

My prolonged singleness was not without huge

to rely on the Father. The more responsibility we

challenges. I attended weddings and baby

carry, the more we have to journey into His heart

showers with a cry in my heart, “Lord, how much

to find the resources we need to be a mature son

longer?” There were moments of desperation as

or daughter.

I imagined my biological clock diminishing my ability to have children with every tick-tick-tick.

My journey into the Father’s heart makes me realise that I’ve come full circle. I went from

My singleness also brought many valuable lessons.

being an earthly Daddy’s little girl to being

Early in my walk with Him, God spoke to me about

held and loved by the Eternal Abba Father!

the importance of pursuing a relationship with Him above any other. Adam had to walk alone with

I live in the grip of His grace, forever His

the Father before Eve was created; then God put

daughter! n

Adam to sleep and Eve had her time alone with Father. In the Father’s perfect time, He brought

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S E E TO I T T H AT N O O N E FA L L S S H O R T O F T H E G R AC E O F G O D A N D T H AT N O B I T T E R R O OT G R O W S U P TO C AU S E T R O U B L E A N D D E F I L E M A N Y. - H E B R E W S 1 2 : 1 5 N I V

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Photography: unsplash.com

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b e r n a d e t t e s wa r t z

[

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hope

]

MY NAME IS BERNADETTE; close friends call me

churches, and so many other things I don’t even

Berni. I am married to André, and we have two

want to mention. How does one not lose hope in

kids (Joshua age 9 and Andrea age 6). I originally

such situations? But still, we knew that this was

come from Paarl in the Western Cape, and Cape

where God wanted us to be, and we had to trust

Town is my happy place. When I close my eyes

that somehow, somewhere, His purpose would

and daydream, I see myself driving along Camps

be revealed.

Bay or walking on Houtbay’s beaches with my toes in the white sand.

We arrived in Jeffreys Bay in March 2013. Four months later on 31 July, I gave birth to our third

During our ten years of marriage, we’ve lived in five

child, a beautiful little girl whom we named

different towns and three different provinces, but

Jordan. Seeing that we already had two kids,

Jeffreys Bay has been my favourite place of all.

we expected everything to be like it was the last two times. But when she was born, the doctor

I suppose my husband and I could be called

said to me that she had six fingers and six toes;

‘missionaries,’ just not in the normal sense of the

I laughed and told him to stop joking around…

word. We come from a radio background; I was

until I saw for myself. She was struggling to

a radio presenter for Christian Sunday morning

breathe, and they took her away immediately.

programme for the national radio station RSG

What was happening?

(Radio Sonder Grense), and he was involved in producing these Christian programmes and has

It was only after I was back in my room that the

also worked for Radio Pulpit for some time. God

doctor confirmed that there was something

has called us to be involved in radio ministry, and

seriously wrong with our baby. They started

this calling has taken us to many different places

doing tests. With our other two babies, we had

across the country.

medical aid, but with this baby, we didn’t. I told my husband that I never wanted to end up in

Some of our experiences in radio have been

Dora Nginza hospital (a government-operated

exciting and enjoyable, and others have

hospital in the region), so we saved up R26 000 so

been nothing short of a spiritual battle. Racial

we could afford to have my delivery in a private

separation, churches discriminating against other

hospital.

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“ I d o n’t k n ow w h e re t h e b o l d n e s s c a m e to say that, but I think, a t t h e t i m e, t h e H o l y S p i r i t j u s t t o o k ove r ”

The financial pressure hit us quickly. Baby was admitted to NICU, and the hospital put pressure on us to decide whether we wanted to stay in the private hospital or not. Even just keeping her in NICU for the afternoon was costing us R10 000 (which we had to pay for immediately)! Now, you can imagine… I’ve just had a C-Section, I’ve just found out that my baby is sick, and the hospital is coming every half hour to ask what we’re going to

moved into Dora with her. Can you believe it?! The

do with her. It was incredibly stressful!

place where I didn’t want to be at all was now my temporary home. When she was fourteen days

We soberly realised that we couldn’t afford to

old, we got the results of the genetics test. The

keep her at the private hospital, and we agreed

doctor said with absolutely no emotion, “I’m sorry,

to transfer her to Dora Nginza. Thankfully, her

Mrs. Swartz. Your daughter has Trisomy 13, and she

paediatrician was also working at Dora, so that

will not live longer than six months.”

gave us some peace of mind. My amazing husband managed to sort out all of the drama:

My response was, “Thank you, doctor, but only

arranging someone to care for our other two kids,

God will decide how long my child will live.” I

organising an ambulance, paying the hospital

don’t know where the boldness came to say that,

(because they wouldn’t release her until we paid

but I think, at the time, the Holy Spirit just took

that first R10 000), and finding someone to travel

over—I did not even break down, cry, or anything.

with the ambulance to make sure that she arrives

Trisomy 13 is a very rare genetic disorder which

safely. I only managed to hold her for a few

affects many of the organs in the body. In fact,

minutes before they took her away; it was the

only 1 in 10 000 babies even makes it to full-term.

first time I had held my baby, and now I had to stay behind.

During my pregnancy, none of our tests and check ups picked up the disorder which is why we

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After being discharged, we traveled in and out of

expected a normal, healthy baby.

Port Elizabeth every day to visit her. After a week, I

• Her heart was on the right side, not the left

• There were some holes in her heart

breathes air into her body so she can breathe

• She had a cleft palate

again. That was our ‘normal.’ Crazy, isn’t it? We

• She had the extra digits on her toes and fingers

even took turns sleeping because someone had

• And later we found out that she couldn’t hear

to watch her breathing at all times.

or see either.

When our precious Jordan was 4½ months old, After thirty-nine days in the hospital, we were

she passed away. Right up until that moment, we

discharged, and the kids got to see her for the

still had HOPE that God would heal her. But as my

very first time. We were determined not to focus

husband says, “God DID heal her, just not in the

on death—we were going to focus on LIFE. We

way that we wanted.” We had peace. God gave

celebrated every month that God spared her life.

us peace. We decided that her funeral would be

We started a Facebook Page called “Baby Jordan

a Celebration of Life. We did not want people to

Swartz.” When she was three months old, we asked

cry. We asked them not to wear black, and we

people to bake cakes and have a party, wherever

asked our worship pastor, “Please, no sad songs!”

they were, just to celebrate this little girl’s life with

Well, his first song was “O Happy Day,” and we

us. And they did! Friends from Dubai, Pretoria,

were happy because we had an angel in heaven.

Cape Town, and Paarl all joined us.

But enough of the sad stories.

We even made it into the newspapers and a

What’s happening now?

magazine. It was wonderful to share Jordan’s story with the world. The title of these articles declared

Radio Ministry - We have a business where we

that “we were never going to give up hope!”

help other people start radio stations. By helping

That’s what gave us the strength to carry on every

to set up these platforms, we can broadcast the

day. Hope.

Word of God to areas where we’ve never even been ourselves. The radio mission for Jeffreys

Jordan was battling to survive every single day;

Bay is huge! We are currently starting a Christian

there wasn’t a day that went by that she did not

Community radio station that will cover 36% of the

have seizures. Our son, Joshua, told his friends at

Eastern Cape (nine districts). It will be the biggest

school that his sister stops breathing, and his dad

community radio station in the Eastern Cape.

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“ M y m o t t o i s : Wo r k w i t h w h a t yo u h a ve i n yo u r h a n d .”

We’ve had to face so many challenges while

mom’s sewing machine, bought some material,

being here, especially financially, but we’ve

and made Google my friend. “Voilà!” I had made

also realised that those challenges are only the

my first dress and skirt.

enemy attempting to deter us from the mission to which God has called us. It is so easy to

And that is how Be…Original (Bernadette Original)

say “let’s pack up and go; there’s no money

started. I mainly focus on African clothing, but I

here.” But what is God saying? During the times

am also busy with other products that I can supply

when we feel most hopeless, we remember the

to the tourism industry (curios, gift shops, etc.). The

promises of God that declare that “He will never

business is growing rapidly, and I’m very excited

leave us nor forsake us.”

about it! Within the first two months, some of my clothing and bags went to Australia. And since

Support Ministry - I am now a ‘support mom’

then, I have even had products go to Italy and

for Cleft Friends, an organisation that supports

Ireland. My motto is: Work with what you have in

parents and families of children who have a cleft

your hand.

lip, a cleft pallet, or both. There is a huge need for encouragement and support for parents who

You may feel that you are in a hopeless situation,

have terminally ill babies, and I am privileged to

that you have nothing to offer. But take heart!

be able to support moms who are on the same

Give your nothing to God so that He can turn

journey that I was on.

your nothing into SOMETHING! n

Entrepreneurship - In September 2015, I received a word from a friend that I would have a very successful clothing business. I’ve always had a passion for African clothing, and I LOVE to wear it, but I never thought that I could make it myself.

I wanted to start the clothing business but didn’t have the finances, and I haven’t done any sewing since I was in primary school. So, I borrowed my

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taryn joynerwood [second hand living]

Photography: Charlie Ray

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[ I would never have admitted it then, but I was completely insecure and filled with pride ]

MY STORY BEGAN MUCH THE SAME as many

successes, but I was too afraid to step out

people who grew up in a Christian home…

myself in case I made mistakes of my own.

We went to church together every Sunday.

Basically, I began living a life of judgement,

During the week, my parents would attend

fear, and independence.

home group and I would play with the other kids. I went to youth group on Friday nights. I

After school, I attended Victory Gap Year in

even went to a Christian school. We were a

Jeffreys Bay. I even went back for a second

normal, Christian family.

year. But I had completely hardened my heart to relationships with people, thinking I needed

I became really good at blending in with the

nothing except what I could learn by observing

crowd; I never liked drawing attention to myself,

their mistakes. My focus was totally wrong,and

so I always made sure I was living right so that

this affected my relationship with God in a

no one could find anything wrong with me. I

HUGE way because all I wanted from Him was

guess, from an early age, I recognized that bad

to hear that I wasn’t a failure. I would never

behaviour gets you negative attention. I didn’t

have admitted it then, but I was completely

want any attention, good or bad.

insecure and filled with pride. My life was perfectly positioned to reap the benefits and the

In school, I was good enough at academics and

confidence that comes with knowing a kind and

sports, but I never really tried hard enough to be

loving Father, but I managed to miss all of that

the best. Remember, I wanted to avoid being

and only focus on what I was going to do for

noticed, even for a positive reason. So, I started

Him all by myself.

living a life of deliberate mediocrity, very aware of the achievements and failures of those around

So, needless to say, when I stepped out of this

me. I began comparing myself to these people,

safe environment where I was placed to be

thinking I could learn from their mistakes and

“equipped and empowered” for life to make an 22

[ I couldn’t have anticipated the impact this isolation would have on my life ]

impact for the Kingdom, I entered the big,

mentally and emotionally. Because I lived with a

bad world more than unprepared. No amount

heart of judgement, I immediately disqualified

of second-hand experiences can prepare you

anyone from having an influence in my life. I

for first-hand encounters (just as hearing about

valued no one’s opinion, only listening to keep

a war is nothing compared to fighting in one).

up the facade that I had habitually maintained,

And a battlefield is exactly what I walked into.

and the only filter was my faulted mind.

I chose to study Media & Communication in

I couldn’t have anticipated the impact this

Port Elizabeth. University is definitely a stimulating

isolation would have on my life; judgement

environment, both intellectually and socially.

hardens your heart, but you can’t pick and

I loved it! I was learning so much, and I met

choose what you harden your heart to. In other

a lot of interesting people. But after quickly

words, you can’t have a heart of stone around

realising that I wouldn’t be able to withstand the

some people and a heart of flesh around

influences of my classmates (another weakness I

others—it’s one or the other. So by hardening my

didn’t want to admit out loud), I withdrew myself

heart, I lost the ability to determine good and

from social interaction completely and started

bad relationships at all. Not just relationships, I

spending increasing amounts of time by myself.

had hardened myself to my own toxic lifestyle

In hindsight, I had never fully appreciated the

choices. Pretty soon, I was doing exactly what I

value of my “safe” environment. So instead of

was trying to avoid, and I didn’t even care.

making sure I surround myself with people who will influence me in a positive way, I opted for

Now that I was now completely alone, I was an

isolation.

easy target to be torn to pieces. My relationships with my family were a mess; I saw even their

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I guess I should qualify what I mean by

earnest attempts to help me as judgement and

“isolation.” It is completely possible to be

condemnation, and I became defensive. My

surrounded by people and give all of the

studies took a knock from trying to balance a

appearances of having friends, and still be

job and a lifestyle of a borderline alcoholic. I

alone. I isolated myself, not physically, but

hated myself because I had suddenly become

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Photography: Charlie Ray

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[ No amount of second-hand experiences can prepare you for first-hand encounters. ]

everything I’d spent my life judging other people

so I took a chance and just decided to do it.

for. Of course, I stopped going to church, mostly because I was always hung-over on Sunday.

That weekend, I went to church for the first time

I can’t say that I stopped believing in God

in a long while. Yes, I saw people I knew from

because I had experienced enough of Him

VGY, and I think I even managed to convince

to know that He’s real. I just assumed that He

them my life was ok. I made it through the

stopped believing in me.

service, and quickly tried to sneak out before my cover was blown. As I was leaving, I heard

So, fast-forward five years, add a dose of shame,

someone call my name. I turn around to see

some pride (because there’s no way I was ever

Pastor Louis Els walking toward me; I didn’t think

going to admit I was doing anything wrong!) and

he ever knew my name, never mind remember

a whole lot of anger, and you get me about a

it after five years. I don’t remember the full

year ago. I was so ‘over’ my life; my boyfriend

encounter, but I do remember making an

and I had broken up, my job was terribly

awkward comment about tattoos and spending

depressing, and every attempt I made to try fix

the rest of the conversation wondering why I

my life came to nothing. I felt like a completely

even came. Then he said something about a

different person, like I had no control of my life or

job and that I must send him my details… I was

where it was going; like life was living me instead

confused.

of the other way around.

The next few months were spent trying to It took one unexpected event to start the

come up with ANY other plan I could think

process of change in my life. A friend of mine

of so I didn’t have to admit this was the best

was making his annual surf trip to Jeffreys Bay,

move for me. I knew I couldn’t stay in PE—my

and he messaged me to meet up. I’d been

life was going nowhere fast. But all the right

avoiding Jbay because my life was a mess and I

doors started opening up for me; the university

had changed so much since I left. I was scared

allowed me to finish my last few subjects through

people would recognise me… or worse, that they

correspondence, and my boss was actually

wouldn’t. But I had an urge to go see my friend,

happy for me because he knew I wasn’t enjoying

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[ My overly rational brain couldn’t come up with any more arguments to refuse.

So I sucked it up and made the move. ]

my work there. My overly rational brain couldn’t

steal, kill, and destroy. That same enemy who

come up with any more arguments to refuse.

convinces you that you are alone, rendering

So I sucked it up and made the move.

you powerless and ineffective.

Honestly, I wanted to run away almost daily.

But Isaiah 58:11 says,

To go from living wild and free for five years to

“The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy

working for a church is... well, it was more than

your needs in a sun-scorched land and will

a lifestyle change, it was a dying of self. But

strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-

the thought that kept me grounded whenever

watered garden, like a spring whose waters

I wanted to run was when Pastor Louis came to

never fail.”

speak with me. I figured that if he can accept me in the state that I was and actually let me

God showed me that He was with me through

work for his church, then God doesn’t disqualify

all of my rebellion and independence. He was

me either. And thus, God began to dismantle the

gracious enough to lead me back from a sun-

walls that I had built around my heart.

scorched land into a community where I could be built back up again, where I can see His heart

What I am learning now is the Importance of

for me and know Him as my Father.

Relationship.

As Psalm 68:6 says, “God sets the lonely in We call it “putting up walls” when we feel afraid,

families, He leads out the prisoners with singing.”

our feeble attempt at defending ourselves.

Not as a step-brother or a step-sister, but as sons

We think that, by putting barriers up between

and daughters. Not to live off other people’s

ourselves and others, we’re keeping ourselves

second-hand experiences, but to live our own

safe—that if we aren’t connected to them, they

purpose-filled journeys and experience lives of

can’t hurt us or influence us—but it’s not true.

abundant love, mercy, and grace in Him! n

The reality is that the people in your life ARE your defence. Having the right people in your life will protect you from the real enemy who comes to

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Photography: Amy Mason

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IF YOU HAD ASKED me years ago what I wanted

About four years ago, I could feel that long-

to do with my life, I would have stumbled over

extinguished flame deep within my heart

words like “a teacher,” or maybe “a physiologist.”

sparking back to life. I started taking pictures

The words “media” or “creative” would’ve never

again, and would write stories and poetry here

crossed my lips. Yet, here I find myself thrown

and there. Of course, the fear of judgment still

into the ever-changing world of media where

hindered me, but then I suddenly found myself

creativity is pulled out of me daily.

I laugh now when I look back and see how God has been setting me up all my life to ‘FALL INTO THE CREATIVE.’ As a little girl, I was fascinated with cameras, forever filling my dad’s phone with pictures of our garden, cat, or whatever else I could capture on film. I would drive anyone with a camera crazy because I wouldn’t stop

free-falling back into creativity.

I surrounded myself with people who INSPIRED and ENCOURAGED me to create, and these people opened doors for me in the world of

pestering them until I could get my hands on it.

media. Before I knew it, I had stopped my

Both of my parents are creative; my mum was

videographer who taught me everything I know

an aspiring artist, and my dad loved all things music―in fact, he had even dreamed of acting on a theatre stage. I remember spending hours as a child writing stories or painting. As I got older, though, people would tell me that “one can’t make it in the world of art and media.” Sadly, I believed them. I had seen how my parents’ dreams had died because of what the world had thrown at them. Slowly, without even realising it, the flame of art, media, and creativity had died within me.

phycology degree and was working for a local about filming and video editing. Just like that, I FELL IN LOVE WITH ART AND MEDIA AGAIN. I could not imagine my life without my daily dose of creativity.

I suppose what I’ve realised through this process of ‘falling into the creative’ is that the closer we draw to Jesus, the more we realise what we were created for! In other words, the more I lay down my life, the easier it becomes to pick up the dreams and desires He has placed deep within me. I was born to be creative! n

By Ruth Pasques

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Photography: Raelynne Blaak

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[ Proverbs 8:22-31 ]

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The Lord formed me from the beginning, before he created anything else.

I was appointed in ages past, at the very first, before the earth began.

I was born before the oceans were created, before the springs bubbled forth their waters.

Before the mountains were formed, before the hills, I was bornâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; before he had made the earth and fields and the first handfuls of soil.

I was there when he established the heavens, when he drew the horizon on the oceans.

I was there when he set the clouds above, when he established springs deep in the earth.

I was there when he set the limits of the seas, so they would not spread beyond their boundaries.

And when he marked off the earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s foundations, I was the architect at his side.

I was his constant delight, rejoicing always in his presence.

And how happy I was with the world he created; how I rejoiced with the human family!

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[ Marlene Terblanche ]

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“performance addict” I WAS BORN AGAIN as a little girl of only 6 years

Bankruptcy is extremely hard… it doesn’t just

old. As long as I can remember, I loved going to

hurt you, it hurts everybody. In all of the chaos,

church and reading God’s Word. I am the eldest

we tried our best to protect our boys, and we

of four girls, grew up on a farm, and our parents

deliberately worked together as husband and

really loved us and cared for us. My sisters and I

wife and we never lacked anything. Where we

were excellent students, and it wasn’t uncommon

could, we took responsibility for the outstanding

for us to come 1st in our grades. And yet, I can

debt, and we clearly heard God say not to

still remember taking those “grand slam” report

declare ‘ourselves’ bankrupt. We still had our

cards home, only to hear Dad comment that,

1st business and we carried on with that.

although it seems to be brilliant, he feels that we can work harder and do even better. A deep

Sounds like we had this all under control and

disappointment for any little girl. As a result,

worked out, doesn’t it? However, I had never felt

“performance” and “working hard” was always

so vulnerable in my life. It was during this time

my motto and the way I lived my life.

that I resorted to the one thing that I knew how to do… work more, work harder, and work longer

Fast forward a couple of years where I met my

hours every day. I love my family and I was proud

husband at university. We soon got married and

of myself that I never missed any event that was

were blessed with two boys. In September, 1997,

important to them. I even went to bed with my

we started our own business, and a year later

husband because that is the right thing to do, but

another business [a feeding company]. Three

I would wait until he was asleep and then get up

years after starting the feeding company, the

and keep on working. Soon, I was taking on more

business was in trouble and eventually declared

work than I could handle. And yet, my co-workers

bankrupt. I remember how God told me “not to

were praising me, and it felt good to hear them

blame but to pray and to love my husband.”

acknowledging me for all of my hard work. I absolutely loved all of these praise reports and I really felt validated.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;On the home front, my husband and children were really suffering with a wife and mother who was always tired, always irritable, and suffering from terrible migraines.â&#x20AC;?

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On the home front, my husband and children

that I felt bankrupt as a person! I had to finally

were really suffering with a wife and mother who

acknowledge that I was out of control, that I

was always tired, always irritable, and suffering

spent too much time away from my family, and

from terrible migraines. Despite feeling physically

that I was simply addicted to all of the praises

terrible, I was still professing to be in control and

from people at work. Performance is an ugly

could still bake a cake in the middle of the night

form of deception.

(mostly because of an inability to say NO).

To turn away from that life was the hardest but At one desperate point, when I fearfully realized

most liberating thing I had to do. I had to stay

that “I am going to lose my family if I keep going

close to the One who knew all about me and

like this,” I clearly heard God’s voice saying that

still loved me with an unfailing love. I had to ask

He will leave the 99 sheep and fetch me. I wish

my husband and children to forgive me and to

I could end here and tell you of my immediate

take me back into their lives. I had to trust my

obedience to His Word, but unfortunately, I didn’t

Father that He would provide for us, because part

change immediately.

of being so deceived is the lie that everything depends on how hard you work.

The turning point for me finally came when a special and brave friend lovingly confronted

Looking back at this story now, I can recognize

me. She told me that, “You are forever tired and

that it all happened so suddenly… the crisis,

working hard, and complaining about it, but I

the deception, the desperation, the healthy

don’t see you changing anything.”

confrontation, and finally the deliverance. I thank God for giving me my family back and

Her comment, as well as my youngest son telling

miraculously restoring our finances! My heart is

me that “I would rather have less stuff and have

grateful towards my loving Father who saved me

a Mom who is working less,” made me realize

from being a proud, stubborn workaholic! n

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B U T M Y L I F E I S W O R T H N OT H I N G TO M E U N L E S S I U S E I T F O R FINISHING THE WORK ASSIGNED M E BY T H E LO R D J E S U S â&#x20AC;&#x201D; T H E W O R K O F T E L L I N G OT H E R S T H E G O O D NEWS ABOUT THE WONDERFUL G R AC E O F G O D . AC T S 2 0 : 2 4

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Photography: Pinterest

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Photography: unsplash.com

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N OT E V E R Y T H I N G H A P P E N S F O R A R E A S O N H e i s a l l t o g e t h e r, c o m p l e te l y g o o d .

K A R A N OT H N AG E L

“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.”

and those around us, and the accusations of our relentless foe. Why is God allowing this to

Have you ever said that? Or had it been said to

happen? Where is He? What have I done wrong?

you? Especially during times of trial, suffering, pain, or uncertainty?

If everything happens for a reason, then what is the reason? What is the reason for someone

Looking back over my life, in some of the most

getting cancer? What is the divine reasoning

painful seasons, this little comfort phrase has fallen

for a marriage break-up or a child dying? The

out of the mouths of loving, well-intentioned,

‘everything happens for a reason’ catch-phrase

good Christian people. “I know it’s hard, but

doesn’t help. It’s meant to help us find meaning

everything happens for a reason.” But over the

in difficulty, but ultimately, it is so dangerous

last few years, whenever I’ve heard this phrase,

because we end up crediting God with things that

out of my spirit has risen a resounding, “No!”

are outside of His nature and His Word, and we present a false image of God that a broken world

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

cannot fathom believing in, let alone trusting.

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Thankfully, there is good news in His Word.

There is an element of truth in so far as if a drunk

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things

person gets into a car and hits another car and

work together for good to them that love God,

someone dies, yes, it happened for a reasons---as

to them who are the called according to his

a consequence of the drunk driver’s actions. But it

purpose.”

didn’t happen as an act of a puppet-master God who intentionally purposes both good and bad to

All things, whether good or bad, work together

teach humanity a lesson.

for good to those who love God.

One of the challenges of the Christian walk is

The New International Version says it this way,

to navigate the gap between truth and fact,

“And we know that in all things God works for

especially when we’re in those in-between

the good of those who love him.”

seasons, in the stretch. In seasons of excruciating pain, or loss, or trial. It’s during those times when

The Amplified Bible puts it like this, “And we know

we have to wrestle with questions, both ours

[with great confidence] that God [who is deeply

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concerned about us] causes all things to work

is full of sickness, pain, and suffering as a result of

together [as a plan] for good for those who

our disobedience in the Garden. And now,

love God.”

the whole of creation waits and groans to come into perfection.

This is not saying that ‘everything happens for a reason.’ It is saying that, no matter what happens,

But, Father God, our God, is as much present

it’s going to work out for my good! Isn’t that

and good in the waiting and the brokenness as

amazing? He doesn’t just work it for random good,

He is in the seasons of triumph and jubilation.

or for His good, but for MY good. It is saying that

He actively works to bring about good in every

no matter what happens, no matter how hard or

season while honouring the parameters of

painful or broken, He will work it out for our good.

freedom and choice.

God’s heart for us, His nature and His intention

He doesn’t cause the pain to teach us a lesson,

towards us, was fully represented at Calvary.

but in His kindness, He brings purpose to the pain.

The writer of Hebrews tells us that Jesus was the radiance of God’s glory and the exact

It is this picture of God that daily gives me

representation of His nature.

tremendous confidence and hope that anchors my soul. He is unfailing love and unwaveringly

WHEN WE SEE JESUS, WE SEE THE FATHER.

good. We are loved and prized by Majesty.

Friends, we have to settle that in our hearts, He

Jesus rebuked infirmity and storms at sea, and

is good, His intentions towards us are good, His

He died for our sin, sickness, and disease. What

thoughts about us are good, so that in times of

possible reason could God have for death,

trial, hope in Him will anchor our soul.

sickness, and trial when Jesus came that we may have LIFE? When He came into the world to save

In all this, here lies the challenges---to so behold

it, not condemn it? HE IS LOVE, and there is no

Him who is The Truth, our Jesus, so that we cannot

fear or torment in love, in Him.

help but align our thoughts, our hearts, our very vocabulary with Him so that we may accurately

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Our earthly life doesn’t always reflect His original

reflect and resound who He is to the world He

and perfect intent for us. We live on a planet that

so loves. n

H E D O E S N â&#x20AC;&#x2122; T C AU S E T H E PA I N T O T E AC H U S A LESSON, BUT IN HIS KINDNESS, HE BRINGS P U R P O S E T O T H E PA I N .

Photography: unsplash.com

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J u dy S c h e l l i n g e r h o u t

A LIFE FLOODED WITH MIRACLES WITH A HEART FULL OF GRATEFULNESS, I can say

The enemy quickly came and tried to silence my

that I am a miracle. My mom was born with

faith and make me believe that this wasn’t really a

cystic fibrosis and wasn’t expected to see her

miracle. And I believed it. That is, until a few years

teen years. When she surpassed all expectations,

ago when I found myself explaining away another

doctors then told her that she would never bear

miracle, believing that I just hadn’t been good

children. And so the journey of miracles began…

enough as a daughter to be on the receiving end

and so it continues!

of miracles. I’ve come a long way since then.

Thank goodness!

My name is Judy Schellingerhout. I grew up in Jeffreys Bay for most of my life. In 2007, I got

In 2012, I was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid

married and moved to the Gamtoos Valley.

Arthritis (RA). I went from being a very active and

Whether or not I wanted it to happen this way,

independent woman to someone who couldn’t

my husband, DC, got to know me as the girl with

dress herself, open taps, carry grocery bags, or

the heart problem. I had struggled almost all

many other things. It’s one of the reasons why I

my life with what doctors thought was yuppy flu.

had to stop teaching. It was just taking too much

I was eventually diagnosed in 2001 with MVPS

toll on my body. RA had taken over every joint

when my heart began beating at around 200

to the extent that I am still on a mild but weekly

beats per minute (instead of 70bpm). My heart

chemotherapy treatment. Though I still have a lot

was too small. I was mostly able to control it with

of pain (especially at night), I’m doing very well,

medication, but when I became pregnant with

and I’m very grateful for where I am today.

our first son, I drastically needed a miracle as my meds were affecting his heart rate too.

Retiring from teaching at the age of thirty-three was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Little

When I was first diagnosed, I remembered the

did I know, though, what the next chapter of my

doctor telling me that “you have a ‘one in a

life would look like, or why God had brought me

million’ chance of being healed when you

to this early retirement.

become pregnant… but don’t count on it.” So we didn’t count on it; we prayed about it. And

In a nutshell, this is what the following three years

then I became that ‘one in a million.’ Tests

looked like:

confirmed that my heart had enlarged to normal

• October 2013—my dad was diagnosed with a

size by about week 15 of my pregnancy.

very aggressive, incurable cancer. With eight 44

rapid tumours in his back, he was given a 1% chance of survival. My mom already had her hands full helping to nurse her parents, so my sisters and I immediately jumped in to help.

• N ovember 2013—one of the tumours was so

was unnerving.

• July 2014—my 2-year-old had raging fevers and ended up in the hospital for a while.

• Aug 2014—my dad was miraculously healed!

big, it broke my dad’s shoulder, but because

DC’s words had come true that “Even with a

they couldn’t operate on him, it had to stay

w1% chance of survival, God CAN add two

that way for a couple of months.

• January 2014—my dad’s mom was also diagnosed with cancer at the age of 94.

Too old for treatment, we stepped in to help there too. It was our privilege; difficult, but not a burden.

zeros!”

• November 2014—my dad, after months of walking with a broken shoulder, eventually got a shoulder replacement.

• December 2014—two days before my sister’s wedding, my mom rolled her vehicle. She

• March 2014—she lost her battle.

miraculously missed an oncoming truck

• April 2014—my 4-year-old son had to have

and walked out in a pretty good condition.

an operation on both of his eyes. We were daily in tears.

• Early June 2014—renovations on our home began. It started to rain, and our house (with everything in it) got flooded.

• Late June 2014—a week after the flood, my

The vehicle was a write-off.

• March 2015—we almost lost my dad to a massive blood clot in his neck which caused a stroke.

• June 2015—my mom underwent surgery.

Three weeks later, she had to fight for her life

dad’s heart rate fell to zero as the chemo was

after getting a post-op infection. It became

affecting his heart. My sister and I returned to my

so life-threatening that she had to be operated

parents’ home at 1:00 am only to find people breaking into their house. While trying to sort out the house, the burglars were busy breaking into my car. Thankfully, we were not hurt, and our timing (along with the neighbourhood watch)

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was so perfect that nothing was stolen. But it

on again.

• Sep 2015—my sister’s health was ridiculously attacked. She also underwent surgery.

• Nov 2015—my son’s eyes had deteriorated very quickly and had to be operated on again.

Unfortunately, they had to give him medication

I’ve always lived with a deep sense of

which blocked his vision for the first few of hours

gratefulness—in and toward everything. I have

after surgery, so, in essence, he woke up ‘blind.’

no idea why, but the one thing I never lost was

Nothing could have prepared him, or us, for

gratefulness. And the one thing I’m confident

that. Two more weeks of patching. A trying time.

about is that gratefulness opens the door to

• January 2016—my other gran eventually lost

your next miracle.

her battle with MS. Once again, we jumped right in weeks before this to help her.

• A week after her death, we found out my dad’s cancer had returned.

• February 2016—five weeks after my ouma died, my oupa also died. It was a very tough

Many times after receiving a miracle, I would think, “Surely, this is the last miracle He can give us.” But what I’ve learned is that His miracles never run out on you and that, no matter what you have or haven’t done, they cannot be earned.

five weeks, visiting him as much as we possibly could.

• May 2016—my mom underwent massive back

No words can express how grateful my family is for all the prayers that have been uttered on

surgery. On the same day, my dad had to have

our behalf. On low days, other people’s prayers

his heart shocked.

carried us; their faith was contagious. It’s how

• A week later—my dad ended up back in ICU as

God graced me through the low and ugly days.

his heart rate had dropped to one beat every 3

So often, usually right before I would want to give

seconds.

up, the next miracle came raining down, like drinking from a well that never runs dry. We would

To tell you the truth, I don’t remember a lot of

often find ourselves staring another victory in the

details of this season. It was so traumatic. Time

face, knowing that we entered that mess empty-

and again, I have been reminded by friends of

handed. That’s how we knew IT WAS HIM and not

all the miracles we experienced. There wasn’t a

us. It so beautifully revealed His glory.

single trial that wasn’t met with a miracle. It was a season of digging deep. At times, I lost all hope

Three things stood out to me during the times

and the capacity to carry on gracefully.

when we were waiting for a miracle.

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GRATEFULNESS OPENS THE DOOR TO YOUR NEXT MIRACLE

1. The best way to overcome discouragement is to

around you. Is it any wonder the enemy is set on

pour encouragement into someone else. This

taking you out? He knows who God created you

season grew so much compassion in my heart

to be & he fears it. But rest in this, dear one, long

for others.

before you were ever targeted by the enemy you

2. The more we invited Him into every crisis,

were chosen by God!” ~ Lisa Bevere

the more often miracles would happen.

Sometimes, though, we didn’t see them

And today as I write this, I can’t help but be

because we were busy looking for that one big

reminded of how very faithful He is when you

miracle, when instead, God gave us a few small

are in a valley! He still holds it all, He establishes

miracles before the big one.

peace for us, and He will give you beauty for

3. I had to learn to guard my heart aggressively

your ashes!

and examine my thought life diligently. During a season like this, especially on low days, you

Without a shadow of doubt in my mind, I know

can’t follow your feelings—you have to push

that God is bigger than my fears, bigger than

past them.

my pain, and bigger than the craziest miracle I need. Miracles. They are part of His beautiful,

Yes, there were times when I would wonder

redemptive story for our lives. Laying our identities

“Why me?” It wasn’t that that I ever once

in Him, we can rest in His sovereignty.

doubted His existence, but sometimes I questioned His goodness.

Even now as I still look to Him for healing from Rheumatoid Arthritis, I choose to trust His heart,

The other day, God gave me the answer as I read

knowing that His plans for me are good! He’s

this quote:

got this one, too! n

“God has NOT positioned you for normal. He has appointed you for signs, wonders & miracles. You are His chosen instrument to bring the light of His Kingdom into a victorious clash with the darkness

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5 STEPS FROM EMPTY-NEST TO CONTENTEDNESS

BY SHAUNA BL AAK Photography: Impact Photography

HAVE YOU EVER woken up and wondered,

the Tank Engine. You can imagine what a shock

“Whose life is this?” It’s been that kind of a year

it’s been to navigate this transition period. No

for me. I am the mom of four of the cutest little

one ever tells you that food will lose its flavour

babies you can even imagine! Cute and cuddly,

for three months after your child leaves home.

and they give the best hugs. They’re gorgeous!

But I suppose that even if they did try to tell me, I wouldn’t have listened. I didn’t want to hear all of

Except… oh, wait! They aren’t babies anymore!

the negative things people have to say about the

Overnight, they’ve become teenagers! Fourteen,

Empty-Nest years. I don’t want to live my life as a

fifteen, eighteen, and twenty (next week). How

‘victim’ of my circumstances. Not me.

did this happen? I finally mastered the art of raising toddlers and managing homework―I’m

So, here is a list of the FIVE THINGS I LEARNED

not ready for teenagers to leave home and

THIS YEAR about how to transition from feeling

head for college.

the “Empty-Nest” to daily living in a place of Contentedness.

But that’s exactly what’s happening. Our eldest daughter, Raelynne, is currently living in Australia

1. Get a Life of your Own

and attending the TV & Media Program at

Seriously, it’s time. If you’ve spent the last

Hillsong College. I can’t believe she’s been gone

eighteen years waiting on your kids hand and

for almost nine months already. Our oldest son,

foot, then it’s high time you did something for

Joshua, will be graduating high school in three

yourself. LEARN. EXPLORE. Revisit your Bucket

months’ time and moving back to Canada to live

List. What are some of the things you’ve always

with his grandparents, get a job, and attend the

wanted to do? Do you want to go back to

Jazz & Contemporary Music Program at Grant

school, take an art class, or learn to dance? Or

MacEwan University. What?!

perhaps you’ve always wanted to travel; then do that. It doesn’t matter if it’s 50 km down the

In my head, I still see them as toddlers, tucked

road or 5000 miles across the ocean. It’s time to

into their spongy chairs and watching Thomas

dream again!

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This year, I finally started my writing business.

FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) feeling hits, inviting

Writing, editing, blogging, freelancing, you

people over for coffee or meals helps to ease

name it. It has been like ‘gas in my tank’ when

the sadness.

the tank was barely running on fumes. And the truly inspiring thing is… Kids LOVE to see their

Loneliness is best cured by opening up your

parents succeed!

heart to others.

They’ll be proud of you when you follow

It works every time. The bonus is that it also

your passion.

2. G et out of your Four Walls and Get Involved There’s nothing worse than wasting your days feeling sorry for yourself. Yuck. Stop it now.

There’s still too much LIFE in you to sit at

are on the earth, they can always build ‘family.’

4. S tay in Touch Modern technology is amazing. A hundred years ago, when someone would go overseas,

home alone.

family and friends wouldn’t hear from them for

Get out of the house and spend your energies

is our friend. Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp…

helping people. Invest, serve, and volunteer.

Ask Father where you should get involved, and then DO IT. Whether you spend your time at the local Mom & Baby Clinic or just join your church choir, I guarantee that when you lay your head on your pillow at the end of the day, you’ll feel accomplished!

3. Invite People INTO your Space As an international family, this is something we’ve done regularly over the last decade, and we’ve found that it’s one of the best ways to deal with homesickness. Whenever that

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shows your kids that, regardless of where they

YEARS. It’s not like that anymore―technology they’re all brilliant. So use them to your advantage. The time zone in Australia is such that we can call Raelynne on the ride home from school (via FaceTime Audio), and all of the kids can catch up with each other. It sometimes feels like she’s just down the block.

But there’s also a word-of-warning here---don’t smother them! Just because you CAN call them all day long doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Remember, they are busy with studies and work schedules, maturing and growing. It’s not their job to fill your love tank every day, nor do they

“KIDS LOVE TO SEE THEIR PARENTS SUCCEED!”

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“WHEN WE KNOW WHAT GOD HAS SAID ABOUT THEM AND THE FUTURE THAT HE HAS PLANNED FOR THEM, IT IS SO MUCH EASIER TO SURVIVE THEIR ABSENCE.”

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have enough mental or emotional energy for

our children than we can even ask or imagine.

that. My advice = Send them regular little notes

(Read Ephesians 3:20 again.)

(with no agenda) reminding them that you love them and are thinking about them. And then

I wish there was a magic pill we could take that

follow their lead. Let them decide if and when

would remove the sting of loneliness caused by

they want to Skype in person. (Yes, you can

our child’s absence, but there’s not. Instead, we

beg them to call you sometimes. The struggle

must survive by feeding our spirits and souls with

is real.)

the truth of God’s Word that brings new life to our sore hearts.

5. K now what God is Saying This is perhaps the most important factor in

I leave you with Habakkuk 3:17-18 (but I’m going

releasing your children to their destiny. I’m not

to quote it from the SBV---Shauna Blaak Version):

just talking about career assessment stuff here.

I’m talking about hearing what God says about your kids; it means having a faith-vision for their life and purpose.

When we KNOW what God has said about them and the future that He has planned for them, it is so much easier to survive their absence.

Over the years, we’ve had numerous prophetic words that have helped to form this faith-vision

Though there be no fingerprints on the walls nor artwork on the fridge, Though I cook too much food for dinner and ache each time I pass your room, Though each waking minute again reminds me how much I miss you still, YET WILL I PRAISE HIM! I will Rejoice in God my Saviour! n www.blaaklistwriters.com

for each of our children. Occasionally, these prophetic words come from other people, but sometimes they come from our times alone with the Father. We must always remember that He has got FAR BETTER things planned for

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Photography: unsplash.com

WEAR

BY R U T H PA S Q U E S

DENIM ON DENIM This 80s “denim on denim” trend has been a no-no probably since the 80s, but we are proud to announce that it is back! And we couldn’t be happier.

We know that most of you have secretly loved this trend, but of course, because we subconsciously feel the need to keep with the trends, you’ve put it aside.

Well, ladies, you are now free to embrace the head to toe denim look again. What’s better than a denim top and skirt to march into summer with, or if you’re in the northern hemisphere, then wrap yourself away in an oversized denim jacket and your favourite pair of jeans?

Denim up, darlings! n

Photography: Pinterest

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EAT

MRS HUAN G’S FRIED RICE

BY ANNE HUANG

This recipe has been passed down from my mother, I learnt how to make this when I was 10 years old because I loved it so much. it is the easiest way to use up any left over rice, vegies, and meat.

Enjoy it as a meal or, as in my family, an afternoon snack when we got home from school.

INGREDIENTS: •

1 cup of cooked rice

•

1 stalk of spring onion, diced

•

2 eggs, scrambled

•

3 sprigs of coriander (optional)

•

1/2 cup of peas

•

1/2 teaspoon of vegetable oil

•

1 carrot, diced

•

soy sauce to taste

•

2-3 rashes of bacon, diced

•

a few drops of sesame oil

Heat up a wok (pan) with some vegetable oil and cook the scrambled eggs. Set aside. Fry bacon, carrot and peas till cooked, and then add cooked rice, scrambled egg, soy sauce and sesame oil.

Stir through until combined and rice is heated through. Just before you dish up, stir through spring onion and coriander. Enjoy hot! n

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Photography: unsplash.com

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