Village Family Magazine - April/May 2015 by The Village Family Service Center

Fargo-Moorheadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Biggest Family Events Calendar April/May 2015

The History of Wishes

Be a More Playful Parent Breakfast in Bed

You Don’t Have To Go It Alone

For nearly 125 years, The Village Family Service Center has helped area children and families improve their lives. The Village was founded as a home for orphaned children, and for decades provided a sanctuary for those who often had no other place to go. Times have changed, and we discovered it wasn’t just kids who needed help. Every year, The Village reaches out to more than 80,000 people, and we are constantly adapting our services to meet the needs of modern life. From individual and family counseling to child care, mentoring and adoption to financial counseling and workplace issues, The Village is a place for all individuals and families. As the definition of family evolves, so do we and no matter how you define family, at The Village, you will never go it alone.

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Kids share more than just their toys Whether it’s the common cold or something more serious, our Pediatric Team is here when you need us. We provide a wide range of services including: ■

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YOUR FAMILY z from the editor April/May 2015 Vol. 19, No. 2 Publisher The Village Family Service Center Gary Wolsky Tammy Noteboom Editor-in-Chief Kelly Lynch Graphic Design & Layout Jared Zimney Advertising Sales Manager Joy Ryan Calendar Editor Shayna Hendricksen Copy Editor Shayna Hendricksen The Village Family Service Center Board of Directors Carrie Bjorge, Steve Connelly, David Dougherty, Richard Duysen, Al Erickson, Judy Green, Matthew Hallaway, Dr. Richard Hanson, Tammy Hauck, Richard Henderson, Dr. Karen Mellum, Tom Nelson, Dr. Joy Query, Becky Walen

For advertising, call 701-451-4937 For editorial comments or questions, please call 701-451-4937 or email magazine@ TheVillageFamily.org For subscription information, please call 701-451-4936 Printed by Forum Communications Printing, Fargo, N.D. ©2015 The Village Family Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. The Village Family Magazine is a registered trademark. The Village Family Magazine does not necessarily endorse content of advertising. The mission of The Village Family Magazine is to broaden the ability of The Village Family Service Center to improve the quality of people’s lives. In each issue, articles and features will educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships. Mail correspondence to: The Village Family Service Center ATTN: Family Magazine 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 58103

April/May 2015

One of my most cherished childhood memories is of building forts. We used whatever we could find to create a fort—boxes, blankets, plywood, old tablecloths, sheets— anything that could be draped over a table or some other frame and conceal us from the outside world. In a family with eight kids, you would try to get some privacy any way you could. Sometimes we would build a fort right in our own bed. There was a nail in the wall strategically located about three feet above the head of the mattress in the double bed I shared with my sister, Becky. We would take our bedspread and hook one end onto the nail and then tuck the other under the mattress at the foot of the bed to form our own little tent. I remember one night we built our fancy bedspread tent and, after a very short time and I’m certain lots of jumping around on the bed, we heard the very distinct sound of that lovely family heirloom bedspread ripping. RRRRRRIP. The tent came down on top of us and we quickly squirmed out from beneath it to survey the damage. It was significant, but we were clever. Becky and I went right to bed—no hassles, no noise—to avoid a visit from Mom or Dad. The next day, and for many days following, we made the bed up in such a way as to mask the telltale tear and keep our secret safe. If I remember correctly, we waited for some other kid in the family to do something 10 times worse than what we’d done and then, amidst the chaos of that person’s transgressions, we remorsefully mentioned we’d torn the bedspread—punishment averted! My boys have the fort-building gene, too. One spring, our neighbors were remodeling their kitchen and had a truckload of cardboard boxes from all of the cabinets and appliances. What they saw as mountains of packaging to dispose of, we saw as building materials for the fort of the century. As the neighbor unpacked his cabinets, one by one, he tossed the boxes over the fence into our yard. My husband, our sons, and I spent a memorable few days constructing a colossal cardboard fortress. There were multiple rooms, tunnels, and plenty of places to hide. We cut out windows and doors and peepholes. Crayons, markers, colored paper, and glue brought the brown boxes to colorful life and entertained those boys for hours and hours. Our corrugated creation lasted about a week until a heavy rainfall destroyed it. The boys were disappointed, and disposing of it was a hassle, but it was truly an enormous amount of fun—and a great family memory. Our feature article, “Be a More Playful Parent,” encourages adults to get down to their kids’ level and play! If you can’t remember the last time you built a fort or played hide and seek or challenged your kids to a game of Monopoly, then it’s time to lighten things up. Have some fun! You’ll never regret it. Thanks for reading,

About the Cover Photo Beckett (21 months) and Harper (3 weeks) Photography by Katie Aasen Photography (See ad page 42)

departments z consumer

6 Why Am I So Messy?! The Truth Behind Clutter and What You Can Do to Clean Up Your Act Disorder, clutter, and “stuff” make our lives more complicated. Discover tips and tricks to organize and simplify your life. z money

14 Engaged Couples Should Talk Before They Walk

There is so much to discuss before two people utter the words, “I do.” Check out these financial conversation Do’s and Don’ts.

z do-it-together

20 Breakfast in Bed

We show you clever ways to involve the kids and plan a surprise morning meal in bed to celebrate that special someone. z online

34 Pros and Cons of Anonymous Social Media Staying on top of the ever-changing world of social media is a constant battle for modern parents. Get familiar with the latest trends. z feature

37 Be a More Playful Parent

Instead of paying for an expensive gym membership, consider playing with your kids on a regular basis—you’ll stay in shape while making memories. z celebrations

40 The History and Mystery of Popular Wishing Customs

Have you ever wondered why we make a wish when blowing out birthday candles? Learn about wish traditions from across the globe. in every issue z gary’s opinion.......... 9

z events calendar....... .24

z books & movies....... 10

z food & fun................ .45

z mom’s view.............. 12

z words & wisdom...... .46

z dad’s view................ 13

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April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z consumer

By Patricia Carlson

Twelve years ago, Deb Williams was a completely different person. Living it up in a corporate job in Fargo, she was surrounded by piles of paperwork, mounds of mess, and a desk she could barely see. It made doing her job difficult. “My job required answering the phone and helping people locate information. Time after time, I’d have to say, ‘Let me find that and call you back,’” says Williams. “I was really unhappy in that environment.” 6

April/May 2015

A chance encounter with a professional organizer at a work conference (“I tried to get out of it but my boss gently suggested I needed to go,” chuckles Williams) changed her life. “It wasn’t a lightbulb moment. It was a chandelier moment.” The professional organizer spoke to Williams in a language she could understand. It wasn’t merely a 12step program for a clutter-free office, like you’ll find today in many Internet

searches. This guy dug deep and diagnosed what was really holding people back from taking charge of their environments. The root of messes, he explained, was disorganization due to lack of routine. If you can help people become organized in a way that fits their lifestyle, they will be more likely to maintain it. “Each of us is different in how we organize,” Williams explains. “It’s simply a matter of what your tolerance level is.”

Williams realized her tolerance level at the office, and at her home, had been breached a long time ago. She immediately de-cluttered her workspace and followed suit in her house. Little by little, Williams transformed her living spaces and then her life. Six years ago, Williams became a professional organizer and founded Ducks in a Row Organizing in Fargo. The student had become the teacher.

Where Does All This Stuff Come From? Clutter evolves from delayed decisions, says Melissa Schmalenberger, another well-known professional organizer in Fargo who operates under the name MS. Simplicity. The reason you have clutter is because you don’t know where to put stuff. It doesn’t matter if your house is small or large, or if there are two people or 10 people living in it. Clutter is an equal opportunity offender, and if you don’t put it in its place, you’ll end up feeling displaced—even in your own home. The worst clutter culprits are the ubiquitous junk drawers and piles of papers you’ll find in nearly every household. They’re probably both in your kitchen, too. “The kitchen is the place where we prepare meals, process mail, have kids do the homework, pay the bills, and most importantly, have the family meal,” says Schmalenberger. “Before we know it, the counters are full of unread mail, school papers to sort and file, returns and exchanges of our shopping purchases, and dirty dishes.” Despite your best efforts to stop the madness, it probably keeps happening again and again and again. How? And why? You’re probably wicked busy and it’s hard to devote time to another task when all you want to do is relax. And more than likely, you fall under one of these common clutter personalities.

projects, and anything else associated with home tasks build up all week so you can tackle them all at once. The problem is, the list has usually grown so long that you never make it all the way through and the clutter rolls over into the next week, just like last month’s unused mobile minutes. Only in this case, that’s not such a good thing.

One in, two out rule: Whenever you bring something into your home, get rid of two other items.

The Weekend Warrior–You let the junk mail, bills, school crafts, laundered clothes, coupons, toy bins, minor DIY

The List Maker–You love a good list. It makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something just by writing it down. And that’s often where your progress stops. The Guilty Sentimentalist–Your junior high soccer uniform. Your grandmother’s hand-embroidered sheets. Your Total Gym. There are things that remind you of loved ones, and then there are things that remind you of just how much you paid for them. Either way, you’d feel guilty if you got rid of any of them so you keep them…all of them.

April/May 2015

BEYOND THE CLUTTER Terms generally associated with orderliness gone awry include situational disorganization, chronic disorganization, and hoarding. What do they mean? “Situational disorganization occurs as a result of a specific event such as moving, changing jobs, having a child, a family member leaving or joining the household, or medical challenges,” says Deb Fetting, LPCC, a therapist at The Village Family Service Center in Fargo. This disorganization is tied to a temporary situation or one that can be adjusted to over time. Regaining organization is a matter of getting caught up again or receiving temporary assistance to get things back in order. For some people, disorganization is simply a way of life—commonly used items are frequently lost, bills go unpaid, time management is challenged, possessions are scattered. However, chronic disorganization can be a symptom of a medical condition, says Fetting. “If the individual’s previous habits of organization change; the disorganization comes on suddenly; the individual’s behavior changes gradually; or if the person is overwhelmed with managing time, things, and tasks, there could be an underlying medical condition.” Compulsive hoarding goes beyond collecting and general clutter. “With hoarding, the significant amount of possessions the individual has acquired gets in the way of everyday activities, says Fetting, “and clutter often consists of useless, possibly hazardous items which prevent use of bathrooms, sinks, fridge, countertops, and beds.” Hoarding can progress to the point of interfering with social, occupational, and personal functioning. Fetting notes that hoarding is now recognized as a mental health disorder. If you are concerned about changes in organizational ability or suspect hoarding may be an issue, consult a doctor or mental health professional. 8

April/May 2015

Clothing rule: If you haven’t worn it in the last 12 months, sell it or donate it.

There Are No Quick Fixes

The truth is that cleaning up your act takes time and effort. “Like any bad habit, it takes work to change it,” says Williams. Here are five ways to get started:

the junk. When you grocery shop, stick to your list. Make informed, not emotional, decisions about your kids’ projects, artwork, and other school stuff. Seriously, you don’t have to keep everything.

4. Put It In The Calendar. Don’t be afraid to put organizing time into the family calendar. This does not have to be a task for which only you are 1. Set A Timer. Hey, if it works for responsible. Depending on their age enforcing “quiet time” for kiddos, and ability, your children can assist it can certainly assist you with with organizing and may even feel organizing. Punch in however much empowered when time you think you need and get Celebrate: Give yourself they see the results of their efforts. to work, but make credit for the de-cluttering At the very least, sure to turn off all they’ll see your you’ve done! your devices and dedication to the eliminate any other task, and that’s a life lesson worth distractions. You need single-minded teaching! concentration to stay on task. 2. Make A Plan With Specific Goals. Don’t go all weekend-warrior and try to organize your home in one fell swoop. You’ll end up being so exhausted the next week you won’t be able to maintain your progress! Try addressing one problem area or one problem room at a time, and then inform your family about what’s changed and ask them to pitch in, too. “It took how many years to create the problem? Don’t think you can solve it overnight,” advises Williams.

5. Just Do It. Whether this means calling in the professionals like MS. Simplicity or Ducks in a Row Organizing, or sending your family away for the weekend so you can have the house to yourself, the key here is to commit. “Usually the hardest step is the first one,” says Schmalenberger. “Just like making yourself go to the gym or eat healthy, you just need to start.”

3. Don’t Bring It In The House. If you’re overwhelmed by the stuff in your home, ask yourself how it got there in the first place. “Stemming the tide of what should, and shouldn’t, come in our homes is a big step,” says Williams. Take your time with your mail. Before bringing it inside, chuck

Formerly from Fargo-Moorhead, freelance writer Patricia Carlson writes about baby boomers, parenting, and healthy lifestyles for magazines across the country. Check out her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.

So this year, instead of the usual spring cleaning, why not try spring decluttering? You’ll be glad you did.

YOUR FAMILY z gary’s opinion

Some Things Change While Others Stay the Same By Gary Wolsky, President/CEO The Village Family Service Center From time to time, at The Village, we make a conscious effort to look closely at the tens of thousands of interactions we have with clients every year, in an effort to discern the broader trends we are Wolsky seeing. What is the trajectory related to the problems our society produces? How are we organized to address those problems? What will all of this look like in three to five to 10 years? All of these are important questions that should be incorporated into an organization’s DNA. In this column, I’m going to share some of the trends we see so you can understand the difficult challenges facing families. Before I share with you the things that have changed, however, I’d like to start with the things that haven’t changed over our 124 years. One thing that hasn’t changed is that people need help. Some groups of people—for instance, those with chronic physical and/or emotional challenges—may need help throughout their lifetime. Far more common, though, are the many people who run into problems where an outside source of support, consultation, or therapeutic intervention is only needed for a short time. Some other things have not changed since 1891. Dysfunctional parents sometimes produce dysfunctional kids (this certainly is not always the case). Kids do best when they grow up in a stable, healthy, and loving family. The first five years of a child’s life are not just important; they are THE most important years of their life. A segment of our population has financial challenges. And a percentage of the population, generally not less than 10 percent, suffers from addiction problems that need some type of intervention. What has changed is the severity of these issues. With addiction, it’s the “menu of addictions” that has changed— Internet porn and a variety of new drugs have been added to the list over the years. With finances, the number of people who are financially overextended has increased significantly over the last generation or two as we have become more and more addicted to credit. Most of the people of my parent’s generation, as an example, wouldn’t consider buying something with credit. If they didn’t have the cash, they didn’t buy it. So what do these broad trends mean to an organization whose job it is to identify what is constant, what is not constant, and translate this into services benefiting the community? I think it’s fair to say the complexity of the problems we deal with has changed. Many of our kids now have multiple diagnoses. A few decades ago, most kids who came to us with behavioral health symptoms didn’t receive a diagnosis at all. Several factors have come together to change this— the largest is that insurance companies now pay for a higher percentage of therapeutic intervention, and they require a diagnosis before they’ll pay for treatment. This makes sense to me—you can’t treat something effectively unless

you identify what you are treating. A corresponding change requires that most of our treatment staff have advanced degrees and licensure to meet the requirements of payer sources. However, it’s interesting to note that program outcomes from 20 or 30 years ago—when licensing issues were nonexistent—were just as successful, in many respects, as they are today; but that’s a story for another time. Treatment of addiction has also evolved considerably. I can speak to this somewhat personally as my dad died from alcoholism many decades ago. In those days, businesses simply didn’t know what to do with a person who had a chronic alcohol problem (my dad worked on the railroad). Today, businesses have become more sophisticated in dealing with problems of this nature. The Village Business Institute assists businesses across 34 states in matters like this on a daily basis—a huge benefit and advantage both to the individual and the business. Another area where we’ve made significant progress is our ability to look at mental health issues as “health” issues. For example, and again using addiction as a model, The Village—through its First Step Recovery program—has several staff who actually work at Sanford Hospital for the purpose of helping medical staff diagnose the behavioral aspect of addiction. This has been very successful in going beyond the treatment of failing livers, kidneys, and hearts and getting to the root cause of those medical problems when they’re caused by addiction. We also have staff embedded in other medical clinics to assist in mental health evaluations. All of this represents solid, positive trends to bring better and more effective services to the community. The Village has a dozen major programs, and 30 to 40 derivative services, each of which has its own “life cycle,” so to speak, and each with its own set of trends. For example, our Financial Resource Center is less than half the size it was a few short years ago. Some of this may be due to the accessibility of financial advice on the Internet, programs such as Dave Ramsey, and other factors, but clearly it’s a part of our profession that is trending downward rapidly. On the other side of the coin, our First Step Recovery program (addiction issues) has increased by over 30 percent, and we expect explosive growth in that program in the years ahead. Because we have had the responsibility of meeting the challenges of kids and families since 1891, one of the few things we can count on is that change is constant. On a final note, another constant over our 124 years is you. Our ability to stay on the cutting edge for all these many decades relies on a community representing individuals, families, and businesses that financially support every aspect of what we’re talking about. Quite literally, these services and programs, which produce ongoing and positive impact, couldn’t happen without you. Thank you. The opinions expressed in this column are strictly those of The Village Family Service Center CEO. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the organization, staff, or boards of directors. April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z m vies

Shayna

“Paddington”

PG On DVD April 28 This is a delightful film version of the beloved book, “A Bear Called Paddington,” by author Michael Bond. The heartwarming Peruvian bear (voiced by Ben Whishaw) stows away on a ship with little more than his red hat, suitcase, and jars of marmalade. He’s rescued by the Brown family at Paddington Station, in London. Hugh Bonneville (Downton Abbey) plays the overprotective dad, and actress Sally Hawkins, the loving, artistic mom. Nicole Kidman portrays a menacing taxidermist who kidnaps the poor bear and puts into motion an entertaining rescue. “Paddington” is an enchanting tale the whole family will enjoy.

PG Available on DVD Josh Baskin is an average kid who rides his bike; plays ball with his best friend, Billy; and goes home each evening to a loving family. At a local fair, Josh is prohibited from boarding an attraction he is too short to ride, © Twentieth Century Fox humiliating him in front of his crush. He stalks off, only to come across a creepy and mystical game that supposedly grants the player a wish. Josh inserts a quarter and makes his wish: to be big. What happens when he awakens the following morning as a grown man? Will he be able to tackle the responsibilities of sudden adulthood? Can he remain himself—a kid—on the inside, and will he ever return to the comforts of his old life? “Big” is funny, charming, and heart-wrenching all at once. Tom Hanks is excellent in his role as young, innocent Josh trapped inside the body and world of a grown-up. (Note: This movie was released before the PG-13 rating was introduced; it is best for older tweens and up.)

“Mulan”

G On Netflix Instant Stream Adults and children alike will enjoy this captivating retelling of a es tur Pic popular Chinese folk tale. Mulan y e isn is a plucky peasant girl who lt D Wa © disguises herself as a boy to battle the invading Huns. She does this to spare her father, who has been called up to fight, but is too feeble to do so. Mulan struggles initially, but transforms into a brave and skilled fighter, finding friends in unexpected places. Vocals provided by Donny Osmond, Eddie Murphy, Ming-Na Wen, George Takei, and Harvey Fierstein.

April/May 2015

“Tomorrowland”

Not Yet Rated In Theaters May 22 Academy Award winner George Clooney stars in this Walt Disney Pictures epic mystery adventure. Frank (Clooney), is a disillusioned, former boy-genius who teams up with Casey (Britt Robertson), a brilliant, optimistic teenager brimming with scientific curiosity. The two embark on a dangerous mission to discover the secrets of a place—somewhere in time and space— called “Tomorrowland.” In addition to Clooney and Robertson, the cast features Tim McGraw, Hugh Laurie, Kathryn Hahn, and Judy Greer.

“Big”

YOUR FAMILY z Baby & Preschool “Click, Clack, Peep!” by Doreen Cronin Farmer Brown of “Click, Clack” fame is back with another funny, illustrated epic about upheaval in the barnyard. This time, the lovable culprit is a sweet baby duckling. This tiny new arrival apparently can’t sleep and, thanks to her constant peeping, no one else on the farm can sleep either. Once again, Doreen Cronin’s storytelling ability and Betsy Lewin’s cute illustrations deliver a perfect bedtime story to cap the day. Ages 9 to 12 “Odin’s Ravens” by K.L. Armstrong and M.A. Marr This second book in the Blackwell Pages trilogy stands on its own as an adventurous tale of Norse mythology set in South Dakota. When 13-year-old Matt Thorsen and Fen and Laurie Brekke discovered they were fated to take the places of the Norse Gods in a battle against the apocalypse, they thought they knew how things would play out. Gather the other descendants, defeat a giant serpent, and save the world. No problem, right? Wrong. Join them on their journey filled with monstrous beasts and godly enemies.

Adults “The Nightingale” by Kristin Hannah This is a compelling historical fiction novel about how two French sisters survive the onslaught of Nazi occupation of France during World War II. After Vianne Mauriac’s husband departs for the front, she is left alone to care for herself and their child. When the Nazis overrun their country, that task becomes infinitely more challenging and dangerous. Meanwhile, the wartime travails of her teenage sister, Isabelle, are complicated by her reckless love for a French partisan. When he betrays her, she throws herself with near abandon into the Resistance fight for liberation.

Book Reviews Courtesy Barnes & Noble, Fargo

Ages 4 to 8 “Sick Simon” by Dan Krall A humorous story to help teach kids the importance of proper hygiene. Are germs gross, or great? Simon is going to have the best week ever. Who cares if he has a cold? He goes to school anyway, and sneezes everywhere, and coughs on everyone, and touches everything. Germs call him a hero! Everyone else calls him…Sick Simon. When will it end? How far will he go? Will the germs take over, or can Sick Simon learn to change his ways?

Teenagers “All the Bright Places” by Jennifer Niven Readers will discover an exhilarating and heartwrenching love story about a girl who learns to live from a boy who intends to die. The troubled young people meet on the ledge of a bell tower and establish a relationship that changes them both. This scenario, as rendered by other authors, might play out in wooden, predictable ways, but in the hands of talented novelist Jennifer Niven, the story unfolds as a gripping human drama about a boy and a girl pulling each other back from the brink.

April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z mom’s view

The Preschool Inquisition By Gwen Rockwood

I remember this phase—the age of endless questioning. “Will they be scared of going down the drain? Do germs Our middle child went through it right before he started know how to swim?” kindergarten. Now his 4-year-old sister, Kate, has assumed “I DON’T KNOW!!! JUST WASH YOUR HANDS AND the role of The Great Inquisitor. All day, every day, I answer EAT THE SNACK!!!” questions. When I’m not around, she corners her dad and Ever since Kate entered the questioning phase, I’ve begun pummels him with rapid-fire queries that never seem to end. to understand why some people go nuts during police I shouldn’t mind answering her questions. And interrogations and admit to anything. There’s a truly I don’t mind answering the first 20 or limit to how many questions the human brain so, but then—I admit—I get frustrated. can handle at any one time. At some Because my answer always leads to point, you just start making things up. her next question. And there are just One morning, Kate started asking so many things to ask. Here’s an questions about why I needed to example of one of our recent brush her hair. When I told her I conversations: wanted to brush out the tangles, “Mom, can I have a snack?” the answer led to roughly two “Sure, but first you need to billion more questions about wash your hands.” tangles and what they’re “Why do I have to wash my doing in her hair at night hands?” that makes it such a mess. To “Because you need to wash appease her with answers and off the germs before you eat.” keep her still while I brushed, “Why do you need to wash I told her that tangles crawl out off germs?” from under the bed each night, “Because germs can make you looking for a good place to have sick.” a party. When they find her soft “How can germs make you sick?” hair, they bring balloons, birthday “If you put a germy hand into your cake, and party hats and start dancing. mouth, the germs can get into your All that dancing messes up her hair, you stomach and make you feel sick.” see, and that’s what causes those twists and Illustration by Trygve Olson “Why do germs want to make me feel sick?” knots that need to be brushed out each morning. “Well…that’s just what germs do.” If the tangle is particularly hard to brush out, it’s “I don’t see any germs on my hands. Why can’t I see the because it doesn’t want to leave the party. “The party is over, germs, Mom?” tangles!” Kate says as she winces while I brush. “Because germs are really tiny and you can only see them Except for the occasional “creative answer,” I try my best to with a microscope.” be honest. When the questions begin to bother me, it’s mainly “What’s a microscope?” because they remind me of just how much I don’t know. Why “It’s a machine that people use to look at things that are ARE things the way they are? Why did God make things that really tiny.” way? Why do people do certain things? Why aren’t some “Things like germs?” things fair? Sometimes I’m just as mystified as she is. “Yes, things like germs.” I may not know much—like whether or not germs can swim “What do the germs look like?” and what kind of music tangles like to dance to—but I do “I don’t know. I’ve never seen a germ under a microscope.” know this: In our world, there are far fewer answers than there “How do you know the germs are on my hands?” are questions. And you can count on a 4-year-old to ask every “Because you were outside playing in the sandbox, so I single one of them. know your hands are dirty.” Gwen Rockwood is a syndicated freelance “And the germs live in our sandbox? Why do they live in columnist. Her book, “Reporting Live from our sandbox? Do they like sand? Do they live in sandcastles?” the Laundry Pile,” is available on Amazon “Germs can live almost anywhere. That’s why it’s important and at Nightbird Books. Email her at to wash your hands, especially before you eat.” rockwoodfiles@cox.net or write to her in care “What will happen to the germs when I wash my hands?” of this magazine. “They will go down the drain.” 12

April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z dad’s view

Sick Day Challenge By J. Shane Mercer

Whether or not to send a self-reported sick child to school may be the most difficult decision in all of parentdom. We’re not talking about the puking, feverish, or spot-covered child. That’s an easy call. We’re talking about the kid who wakes in the morning without such tell-tale symptoms, but utters those most-loathed words, “I don’t feel good.” With that begins a domino-like series of interconnected conundrums that have ripple effects into early retirement. “Let’s see…if Johnny’s sick then I can’t go to work, which means that I can’t make that working lunch meeting with my boss that I’ve already cancelled twice. Now, I might be able to make the meeting if my wife can come home for an hour on her lunch break, but she was going to use that time to stop at the bank and pay the mortgage so our house doesn’t go into foreclosure. If it does, we’ll almost certainly end up in bankruptcy, living on the street, and selling fake Ray-Bans to try and make ends meet. Of course, we could join a communal cult. They’re wildly oppressive, but at least we’d have a place to stay...” What’s maddening is that you just don’t know what’s going on inside the child. The child says they don’t feel good. OK, but last night this same child was so stuffed they couldn’t eat even one more bite of the broccoli casserole, only to discover 20 minutes later, they did somehow have room for an ice cream cone, four fun-size Crunch bars, and three bowls of popcorn. I’m not saying they lied. But the capacity of a child to affect their tummy based on what they want to do (or don’t want to do) is unbounded. They can think a stomachache into existence. Now, you could tell them, “Look, just try to go to school, and if you start feeling worse, you can come home.” But why not just say, “Wait until I’ve just turned on my computer at work and then call me.” You could invoke executive parental privilege and just make them go, but what if they are sick? You imagine the disapproving scowl of the school nurse when she sees your child lying on that naugahyde sick table in the office and thinks, “What sort of parent sends their child to school like this? Are they cruel or simply stupid?” Later the superintendent calls, “Hi, Mr. Mercer. Thanks for sending your sick kid to school today. Now the entire district has ebola.” So maybe you’ll just keep them home. But then you begin conjuring up imaginary conversations with the office staff. “Hi. Johnny won’t be at school today. He’s not feeling well,” you imagine saying. “Does he have a fever?” you imagine the stone cold voice on the other end asking. “Has he puked? Is he feverish? Is he bleeding profusely?” “Well, I mean, no, he just doesn’t feel well,” you reply sheepishly.

Illustration by Trygve Olson

“All right. I’ll mark him down absent. And, by the way, the head of the President’s National Council on Truancy and Horrendous Parenting will be by to see you. Good day, sir.” And all this time the clock keeps ticking. Do you send them or don’t you? Sick or not sick? Home or school? What do you do?!? Finally, you get so desperate and frustrated you find yourself with the bizarre, twisted desire that your child just go ahead and puke so you’ll have something concrete to go on. “What have I become?” you ask yourself. But, you know, if I’m honest, there’s a part of me deep down inside that’s happy when I have to (get to) stay home with a sick kid. It’s a fast-paced, scheduled world. Some one-on-one downtime isn’t all bad. And cuddling up on the couch to watch “Scooby-Doo” with one of those little guys who I just noticed is growing up so fast—well, that’s probably more important than what I was going to do at work anyway. J. Shane Mercer is the digital marketing specialist at The Village Family Service Center. He and his wife, Amy, live in Fargo with their three children, Ariana (10), Talia (10), and Will (6). April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z money

April/May 2015

A recent poll by the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) revealed that 68 percent of respondents held negative attitudes toward discussing money with their fiancé, with five percent indicating the discussion would cause them to call off the wedding. “It is telling that two people who intend to spend the rest of their lives together would see a conversation about money as so disconcerting,” said Gail Cunningham, spokesperson for the NFCC. “The ability to have open and honest discussions is key to a

successful marriage. With many brides and grooms walking down the aisle in June, regardless of how difficult it may be, the conversation about personal finances is one that should be neither ignored nor postponed. As a matter of fact, to increase the odds of making ‘happily everafter’ a reality, the discussion should take place before the ‘I do,’ not after.” Financial counselors at The Village Family Service Center recommend the following Do’s and Don’ts for that much-needed financial conversation:

“Two-thirds of Engaged Couples Express Negative Attitudes Toward Discussing Money”

April/May 2015

Don’t spring the conversation on the other party. Instead, set a time to talk that is convenient for each. Don’t hide income or debt. This is known as financial infidelity. Instead, in the spirit of openness, bring financial documents including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, existing debt obligations, and investments to the table. Do make it a casual conversation about a serious subject, respecting the fact that each person has valid opinions and concerns.

Do be honest about the current financial situation. If the courtship phase of the relationship has painted a financially unrealistic picture, it’s time to be honest about what the long-term lifestyle will look like. Do probe to understand long-held financial attitudes, often present since childhood and likely ingrained, by observing how parents addressed money issues.

Don’t point the finger of blame. That’s a real conversation stopper.

Do acknowledge that one may be a saver and one a spender, understanding there are benefits to both approaches and agreeing to learn from each other’s tendencies. 16

April/May 2015

Do make a plan in advance to deal with any skeletons that come out of the financial closet. Such surprises can potentially compromise access to future credit. Now is the time to deal with surprises. Do allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.

Marriage, Money, and Faith

Several area churches require that engaged couples, who are planning to marry in their church, take a financial course. At Hope Lutheran Church in Fargo, Pastor Paul Nynas explains why they require the Freed-Up Financial Living Course for engaged couples. “It’s not that money, in and of itself, is good or bad,” says Nynas. “The Bible teaches that the ‘love of money’ (1 Timothy 6:10), or greed, is the problem. Where couples or individuals get in trouble with finances is when they have an unhealthy relationship with their wealth—when they put wealth before God.” The course Hope offers allows couples to consider how they will manage their financial resources together. Participants develop a spending plan and are given communication tools to talk about finances. “We feel this is an important aspect of married life,

Do construct a budget that includes savings. When just getting started, money is often tight, making it tempting to delay beginning to save. However, when every cent counts, it is even more important to have a financial safety net in the form of savings. Do decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills. It is likely that one spouse will be a good fit for this task, while the other finds it burdensome.

which is why it is a requirement,” says Nynas. Some churches may not offer or require engaged couples to take a course specifically on finances, but they encourage premarital retreats for couples or other counseling that includes a segment on financial management. Pastor Tony Scheving from Fargo Baptist Church explains they have couples go over a variety of biblical materials on the responsibilities of marriage. “Addressing finances is covered in the material, since it is one of the leading problems within marriage,” says Scheving. Overall, the response seems positive. “Most couples are eager to learn as much as they can to help prepare them for marriage. After taking the course, couples say they feel equipped and encouraged to handle their finances,” says Nynas.

Adult Substance Abuse Treatment Services Recovery Begins with the First Step

Do decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It’s appropriate to have individual goals, but having family goals is important, too. Do talk about loaning money to family members and friends. Decide if it’s something each is comfortable with or should be avoided. Do talk about caring for aging parents, and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs, if necessary. (continued on page 18)

A Program of The Village Family Service Center

3201 Fiechtner Drive • Fargo 701.293.3384 www.FirstStep-Recovery.com Blue Cross/Blue Shield Preferred Provider. We Also Accept Most Other Insurance Plans.

April/May 2015

(continued from page 17)

How you are going to handle money matters is an important discussion to have before getting married. In addition to the Do’s and Don’ts listed, Money Talks News advisors suggest you take your financial discussion a bit further. In her article, “Ten Money Matters to Discuss Before Marriage,” author Allison Martin includes two additional subjects to consider: children and retirement. The average cost of raising a child born in 2013, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is $245,340. Data shows costs slightly lower in the Dakotas, Minnesota, and the Midwest in general, when compared to either of the two coasts. Regardless, that is still a lot of money—college costs are not included in that total. If children are part of your life plan, creating a timeline to save for the expenditure is a wise decision and a worthy discussion.

For young engaged couples, retirement may seem too distant to worry about, but it’s never too early to plan for those “golden years.” The value of compound interest comes into play here. Albert Einstein called it the “greatest mathematical discovery of all time.” The younger you begin saving for retirement, the longer your money can compound for you. Discuss the types of long-term savings and investment vehicles that will work for the two of you. For older engaged couples, it is critical to discuss what you think your retirement will look like and what you need to do now to make those dreams materialize. For professional assistance bringing two incomes, two lifestyles, and two financial attitudes together, talk to a financial counselor at The Village. Go to www.HelpWithMoney.org or call 1-800-450-4019.

Kristen A. Garvey, Attorney, Family Law Wake Up to a New Day. At D.J. Chapman Law, we understand that life can throw you some bad pitches, that is why our new Family Law Services are here to assure you have a New Day. We counsel clients on all issues related to family and domestic law, including divorce, child custody, visitation, child support, spousal support, and protective orders. Call to make an appointment today. Wake Up to a New Day. Everyday!

www.djchapmanlaw.com

Kristen A. Garvey, Associate

1121 Westrac Drive, Suite 206 • Fargo, ND 58103 • 701.232.5899 Member of: State Bar Association of North Dakota, Minnesota State Bar Association, Association of Professional Responsibility Lawyers, American Bar Association

April/May 2015

Capturing Hearts

Anyone who meets Anna Olivia Marcy can tell she is one very special little girl. With a smile that will steal your heart, she caught the attention of everyone who walked into her hospital room. “I think she just captured their hearts,” says Anna’s mom Beverly Marcy. “Her personality, smile and just the way she responded to things… She always wanted to say thank you to whoever was there. Whether it was the nurse, the person bringing her food, or the cleaning staff, she wanted to let everyone know how grateful she was. I think it is rare to find such a spirit of gratitude and strength in someone so young.” A difficult road Anna is the 2015 Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals North Dakota Champion and the honor is well deserved. Last summer Anna’s parents noticed she was gaining a little weight around her midsection over a short period of time. “We went through a few steps and after an ultrasound discovered it was a buildup of fluid coming from her shunt,” says Anna’s dad Greg. Before Anna had her first birthday, or even met the people who are now her parents, she had surgery to place a shunt, in her birth country of Azerbaijan. Anna was born with hydrocephalus, a condition where fluid accumulates around the brain. The common treatment is to reroute this fluid to another area of the body, most commonly the abdomen, where it can be absorbed safely back into the bloodstream. Anna had the fluid drained and was sent home with appointments set for the following week. However, over the weekend Anna’s abdomen again began filling with fluid. She was admitted into

the pediatric intensive care unit where the fluid was drained and a cause was found. “Usually when patients have shunt infections, they occur soon after the device is placed,” says Tong Yang, MD, pediatric neurosurgeon at Sanford Children’s Fargo. “But in Anna’s case, it was a slow growing bacteria that didn’t present until almost four years later.” A long wait Anna’s shunt would have to come out and an external one placed to relieve her body from the building fluid. “It was a challenge for us and for her,” says Greg. “An almost 6-year-old doesn’t just sit in bed very well. She wanted to be up and moving, but with the external shunt she really couldn’t. If we turned it off for more than 20 minutes she would get a headache.” Anna was in the hospital for more than 30 days as the external shunt drained the fluid. Once it was under control, Dr. Yang and the team at Sanford Children’s made a plan to hopefully fix the issue for good.

“Replacing Anna’s shunt in the original location was no longer a viable option for her,” says Dr. Yang. “The infection had made it a hostile environment. So we elected to place it through a vein near the heart.” A happy result Anna is now doing well and excited to take on the role of Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals North Dakota Champion. “When we were approached about it, we knew we wanted to help,” says Beverly. “We received such amazing care from the team at Sanford Children’s and the Children’s Miracle Network that we really wanted to give back.” “Watching our child go through this was so difficult,” recalls Greg. “But hopefully by sharing our story and drawing attention to the work done through Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, we can help make it a little easier for another family going through a similar situation.”

This medical update was brought to you by Sanford Health. Learn more at childrens.sanfordhealth.org October/November 2014

DIT Breakfast in Bed By Kim Tweten

April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z do-it-together

ne of my fondest mom memories is of my 7-year-old daughter and her still toddling brother standing at the bedroom doorway with a half-spilled bowl of cereal balanced on a cookie sheet covered in dandelions. Their eyes were sparkling with pride as they delivered my surprise breakfast. It was as if they were presenting me a tray of precious jewels from King Tut’s tomb. They climbed up in bed and helped me eat soggy toast, giggling as we stirred the milk that had a dollop of jelly plopped in for flavor. That was the first of my many breakfasts in bed over the years. Dad was behind the scenes, but clearly allowed them artistic license (maybe too much). There were half-cooked eggs, burnt pancakes, peanut butter toast that was dropped on the dog and picked off. Once, I had a pineapple smoothie complete with rind—needless to say, it was not smooth. But never have I felt more loved. Inevitably, one or the other would say, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,”—one of those things moms say and don’t think anyone is really listening. Now that they are both grown, I fondly treasure memories of my sweet pint-sized chefs. Consciously creating childhood memories and family traditions is essential so the days (and years) don’t just jumble together and fly by. Breakfast in bed may well be a simple tradition your family wants to start. Make sure to involve the kids in all stages of planning and execution.

Shopping tasks for little ones might include being in charge of crossing things off the list, picking the yummiest berries, or putting items into the cart or onto the checkout counter. You might make a special stop after groceries to buy a single flower at your local florist for the breakfast tray, and hide it away in the back of the fridge.

The Day Before: Now is the time to decide on a tray and make the notes that will accompany breakfast. A tray doesn’t need to be a silver platter; it can be as simple as a bar pan (edge on all sides), the top of a TV tray table, or you can make one complete with handles on the sides by cutting down a sturdy cardboard box. A handwritten menu, an original card, or a sweet poem from each child kicks up the specialness of the day. Even if it’s just scribbles on paper with a crayon, it will mean a lot.

Planning: A few days before the special morning, gather the kids together and hold a secret meeting about ideas for the “Breakfast in Bed Extravaganza.” Have a few menu ideas in mind to give them some direction, or you may end with spaghetti and meatballs before 8 a.m. Your menu should be simple and yummy, and easy to prepare, allowing all family members a chance to participate. You might offer choices by saying something like, “Should we serve a delicious donut, a yummy yogurt granola parfait, or pancakes on a stick?” Notify the recipient adult (Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt, etc.) that the meeting is taking place so they can steer clear. Or, better yet, so they can pop in and say, “What’s going on here? A secret gathering?” which is sure to make the kids giggle with excitement. Part of the fun is the anticipation involved in carrying out a surprise.

Shopping: Schedule a time to take the kids grocery shopping for supplies. Kids naturally want to help. It’s our job as parents to nurture and guide this inclination to pitch in so it becomes a lifelong habit. Of course, it would likely be more efficient to do everything yourself, but resist the urge to run to the local supermarket alone. Shopping for the special breakfast is a good opportunity to talk about how important it is to do nice things for people you care about and allows kids to have ownership in the process. April/May 2015

The Morning Of:

The Night Before: Everyone can pitch in to wash berries, cut up fruit, mix up batter, or line muffin tins with paper. Anything you can do the night before will make the morning run smoother. Food prep is a great practical life experience. Children can learn the importance of regular handwashing and begin to master ageappropriate kitchen tasks with safety in mind. I’m a big fan of making lists—if your helpers are too young to read, draw a picture list of the finalized plans so everyone knows what to expect. Your children might want to rehearse what they are going to say when presenting the honored guest their food. Let them come up with their own ideas for presentation; happy and silly songs are never a bad idea. Get dishtowels ready for makeshift aprons and pick the prettiest plate from the cupboard and set it aside. Choose a colorful napkin or cloth and wrap a spoon, knife, and fork together, tied with a ribbon. Take a minute to discuss clean-up and remind the group it will go faster if everyone helps out.

April/May 2015

Gathering your kids to prepare the surprise is sure to be a wonderful adventure. Remember, while making meals in the kitchen may be old hat for you, it’s an exciting and fun activity for children to cook with adults. Turn off all distractions except for perhaps some energizing background music to keep things moving. Demonstrate cooking methods at every opportunity. Kids can learn to crack an egg by tapping the shell at the center and using their thumbs to pull it apart. Even very young children should be able to slice soft fruit, such as a banana, with a butter knife. Be spontaneous! If your child wants to put fruit snacks or gummy bears in the muffin batter, or mix juices to create a “bluestraw orangeberry blend,” just go with it. Set the tray with a drink, main breakfast attraction, and your “add-ons” (see sidebar on page 21), again making sure everyone has a part to play. Presentation is everything; there are never too many sprinkles or too much glam! Put a tutu on the dog, drape a dishtowel on an arm—waiter style—and let the breakfast parade begin. Five-year-old Ian, from Moorhead, thinks the best part of making breakfast in bed is “Mom can stay laying down and eat!” Ian’s mom, Alicia Artley, enjoys listening to the happy work in the kitchen as Ian and his dad create her surprise meal. She closes her eyes when she hears her family coming, so she can “wake-up” amazed and delighted. “Ian is very excited to do something special for me,” says Artley.

Cleanup: Everyone should have a part in clean-up (except the guest of honor). A way to insert fun might be to draw a task out of a chore jar. On slips of paper, write down various jobs such as “Bring dishes to the sink,” “Wash the counter,” “Put potholders away” and drop them into a jar. Everyone keeps removing slips of paper—these are the clean-up tasks they need to do—until the jar is empty. During clean-up, take time to talk about how it felt to do something nice to brighten someone’s day. Brainstorm ideas about what secret kindness to execute next. Breakfast in bed disclaimer: Everything will not go as planned. Embrace whatever happens with smiles and gratitude. If juice spills onto the scrambled eggs, or your little waiter sneezes on the waffles, or the banana slices taste slightly of dish soap—be happy and joyful. Breakfast definitely is the most important meal of the day, especially when it is delivered with the love of a family working together.

Calendar of Events

To include your event in our family-friendly calendar, email shendricksen@TheVillageFamily.org. Deadline for the June/July calendar is April 24, 2015. Although we strive to be as accurate as possible, please call ahead to verify information, registration requirements, or event fees. Due to limited space, we are unable to include all submissions.

APRIL 2015 EVENTS 4.1 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • MSUM Wind Ensemble Chamber Concert. 7:30 p.m., Gaede Stage, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 4.3 Friday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-3658868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • 26th Annual Easter Eggstravaganza. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. with egg hunts at 11 a.m., 1 p.m. & 3 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org 4.4 Saturday • Minn-Kota Feline Club Cat Show. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-840-9850 • 5K Table Run. Run/walk to promote disability awareness and benefit The Arc of Cass County. Register at Fargo Billiards & Gastropub or www.tablerun5k.com. Race starts at 10 a.m., Fargo Billiards & Gastropub, 3234 43rd St. S., Fargo

• 26th Annual Easter Eggstravaganza. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. with egg hunts at 11 a.m., 1 p.m. & 3 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Saturday Fun Night. Ages 5-12. Register at 701-293-9622 or www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo • Fargo Force vs. Omaha Lancers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com 4.5 Sunday • Minn-Kota Feline Club Cat Show. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-840-9850 4.6 Monday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com 4.8 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 4.10 Friday • Mission Impossible Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • MSUM Percussion Ensemble Presents: Percussion Theatre. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 • “Daughter of the Regiment.” Presented by FM Opera. 7:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org

4.1 & 4.25 MSUM Wind Ensemble

April/May 2015

4.11 Saturday • Day of Percussion. Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Autism & Art Workshop. 10 a.m.-noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Meet animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. S., Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org

• Kid Quest. 1-4 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org • Percussion Ensemble Concert. 4 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Fargo Force vs. Sioux Falls Stampede. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com 4.12 Sunday • High School Honor Band Concert. 12:30 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • “Daughter of the Regiment.” Presented by FM Opera. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org • Echo Band Concert. 7:30 p.m., Buxton/Hanson Hall, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 4.13 Monday • Vocal Jazz/Jazz Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Buxton/ Hanson Hall, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 4.14 Tuesday • Jeremiah Program Generation Builders 2x2 Luncheon. Learn about Jeremiah Program and how to get involved. Visit www.jeremiahprogram.org/locations/fargo-moorhead or https:// jeremiahprogram.ejoinme.org/generation for tickets. Silent auction at 11 a.m., lunch and program at noon, Courtyard by Marriott, 1080 28th Ave. S., Moorhead • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • DIY Inspiration Night. Be inspired to make an old picture frame look and function like new. 7-8 p.m., Heirlooms, 3120 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-356-2670 4.15 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Gooseberry Park Players Information Session & Audition Sign-up. For middle and high school students interested in participating in the July production of “Footloose.” 6 p.m., Fox Recital Hall, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, www.gooseberryparkplayers.org 4.16 Thursday • New Life Center Auxiliary Annual Prayer Breakfast & Evening Dessert. Guest speaker Dee Brestin. Call 701-2454453 or visit www.Fargonlc.org for tickets. Breakfast at 9:30 a.m., dessert at 7:30 p.m., Hilton Garden Inn, 4351 17th Ave. S., Fargo • Gooseberry Park Players Information Session & Audition Sign-up. For middle and high school students interested in participating in the July production of “Footloose.” 6 p.m., Fox Recital Hall, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, www.gooseberryparkplayers.org • Sweet Miracles. Event supports Children’s Miracle Network and Sanford Children’s Hospital. Live entertainment, silent auction, cocktails, desserts. Tickets at Courtyard by Marriott. 6-9 p.m., Courtyard by Marriott, 1080 28th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-1000

• MSUM Choir Concert. 7:30 p.m., Glasrud Auditorium, Weld Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 • “Blithe Spirit.” 8 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Main Stage, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 4.17 Friday • Children’s Author Nancy Carlson. 5-7 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • The North Dakota Autism Center, Inc.’s AuSome Evening. Social hour and silent auction start at 5:30 p.m., Avalon West, 2525 9th Ave. S., Fargo, dkasprowicz@ndautismcenter.org or www.ndautismcenter.org • “The Diviners.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • Symphonia Dessert Pops Concert. 7:30 p.m., Centrum, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • “Blithe Spirit.” 8 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Main Stage, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 4.18 Saturday • 21st Annual Gigantic Rummage Sale. Crafts, garage sale items, antiques, collectibles. 7 a.m.-2 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • March of Dimes March for Babies. Registration begins at 9 a.m., walk at 10 a.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, www.marchforbabies.org

You’re Wanted... There’s a child waiting for YOU! Call today about bringing a child into your home 701-280-9545 800-766-9321 www.pathinc.org

April/May 2015

4.18 Saturday (cont.) • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • “The Diviners.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • “Blithe Spirit.” 8 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Main Stage, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 4.19 Sunday • “The Diviners.” Presented by FMCT. 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • “Blithe Spirit.” 2 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Main Stage, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218299-3314 • FM Youth Symphonies Spring Concert. 4 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-388-4536 or www.fmays.org • Oratorio Concert. 7 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515

4.20 Monday • The YWCA’s 42nd Annual Women of the Year Event. 5:30 p.m., Holiday Inn, 3803 13th Ave. S., Fargo, www.ywcacassclay.org 4.22 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • One Act Play Festival. 7 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Lab Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 • Harlem Globetrotters. 7 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701356-7656 or www.scheelsarena.com • An Evening of Dance. A showcase of dance, from ballet to hip-hop, by MSUM dance students. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 4.23 Thursday • Art for the Arc. Silent auction, caricature artist, live music. Tickets and details at www.arccassnd.org. 11 a.m.-2 p.m., Holiday Inn, 3803 13th Ave. S., Fargo

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Includes One Game Below & Devilery in the FM Area • Tiger Belly Combo Dora & Diego • Pricess Club

$225 Package:

Add one of these games to ANY package for only an extra $100!

Includes One Game Below & Devilery in the FM Area • Batman 5 in 1 • Cars 5 in 1 • Mickey Park • Wacky Double Splash • 15’ Double Splash

922 40th Street NW • Fargo, ND 701-373-0104 • fargo-games-galore.com 26

April/May 2015

• One Act Play Festival. 7 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Lab Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 • “The Diviners.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • “One Magic Kiss: Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.” Presented by Moorhead High School Theater. 7:30 p.m., Moorhead High School, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2255 or www.moorheadschools.org/tix 4.24 Friday • Sheyenne High School Rodeo. Noon, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-799-3778 • I Spy Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • “The Diviners.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • Performing Arts Series: m-pact. 7:30 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • “One Magic Kiss: Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.” Presented by Moorhead High School Theater. 7:30 p.m., Moorhead High School, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2255 or www.moorheadschools.org/tix 4.25 Saturday • Sheyenne High School Rodeo. 8 a.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-799-3778 • Pitch, Hit & Run. Hosted by The Chamber’s Young Professionals Network. Open to competitors ages 7-14. 9-11 a.m., Matson Field Park, 1010 13th St. N., Moorhead, phrfmwf@ gmail.com or www.mlb.com/phr • Crying Hills Antique Show. 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-667-8894 • Party for the Planet. Earth Day celebration. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. with activities from 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

• Recycling the Clay Community Day. Choose one of three sessions offered at noon, 1:30 p.m. & 3 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701551-6100 or www.plainsart.org • Handbell Choir Concert. 1 p.m., Centrum, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218299-4515 • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Meet animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. S., Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org • Garden Party. 1:30-4:30 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • “One Magic Kiss: Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.” Presented by Moorhead High School Theater. 2:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., Moorhead High School, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2255 or www.moorheadschools.org/tix

• “The Diviners.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • Masterworks Concert V: Resurrection. 7:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org • MSUM Wind Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 4.26 Sunday • Sheyenne High School Rodeo. 8 a.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-799-3778 •C rying Hills Antique Show. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-667-8894 • “ The Diviners.” Presented by FMCT. 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org •M asterworks Concert V: Resurrection. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org

• “One Magic Kiss: Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.” Presented by Moorhead High School Theater. 2:30 p.m., Moorhead High School, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2255 or www.moorheadschools.org/tix • Symphonic Band Concert. 4 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 4.27 Monday • “Songs for a New World.” 7 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 4.28 Tuesday • Kids Are Our Business Breakfast. The 25th annual event raises funds for the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center. 7:30 a.m., Ramada Plaza & Suites, 1635 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-293-7273 or www.raccfm.com (See ad pg. 32) 4.29 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

FORE

season pass

4 COURSES • 1 PRICE

Endless rounds of fun! Exciting things are happening at El Zagal! Follow the remodel progress at

fargogolf.net April/May 2015

MAY 2015 EVENTS 5.1 Friday • Marathon Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com 5.2 Saturday • Wish Fast 2: Superhero 3K & 5K. Real life heroes come together for the second annual Superhero event benefiting Make-A-Wish North Dakota. Registration at 8 a.m., Lindenwood Park, 1905 Roger Maris Dr., Fargo, 701-710-0608 or wishfast@gmail.com • Diamond in the Ruff Pet Rescue Fundraiser. Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www.diamondpetrescue.org • Children’s Storytime with Curious George. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Kite Day. 12:30-3 p.m., Lindenwood Park, 1905 Roger Maris Dr., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • Commencement Concert. 3 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Plains Art Museum Spring Gala: Carnaval! 7 p.m.-midnight, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org (See ad pg. 31) • MSUM Vocal Jazz Concert. 7:30 p.m., Glasrud Auditorium, Weld Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271

5.5 Tuesday • Gooseberry Park Players Cast Auditions & Tech Crew Interviews. Advanced sign-up required. 4-10 p.m., Glasrud Auditorium, Weld Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, www.gooseberryparkplayers.org 5.6 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Gooseberry Park Players Cast Auditions & Tech Crew Interviews. Advanced sign-up required. 4-10 p.m., Glasrud Auditorium, Weld Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, www.gooseberryparkplayers.org 5.7 Thursday • Fargo Marathon Events. www.fargomarathon.com 5.8 Friday • Fargo Marathon Events. www.fargomarathon.com • Eco Chic Boutique Junk Market. 8 a.m. early bird admission, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. general admission, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www.iloveecochic.com/junk-market/ 5.9 Saturday • Fargo Marathon Events. www.fargomarathon.com • Eco Chic Boutique Junk Market. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www.iloveecochic.com/junk-market/ • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 5.10 Sunday • Mother’s Day at the Zoo! Moms receive free admission. 10 a.m.-7 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Magnificent Mother’s Day. Free admission for moms. 1-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • FM RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. Exhibition game. 7 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com

Pride in our PurPose Early Childhood Family Education A Community Education Program of Moorhead Area Public Schools

Strengthening Families & Supporting Parents

Call or go online for a list of our classes 218-284-3400

https://communityed.moorheadschools.org 28

April/May 2015

5.11 Monday • FM RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. Exhibition game. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 5.12 Tuesday • Party in the Park. 5:30-8 p.m., Clara Barton, 1451 6th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 5.13 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 5.14 Thursday • Heading Home. All day event for the children at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. 7151 15th Street South, groundbreaking at noon followed by tours until 2 p.m. Refreshments and light lunch. Evening gala at 5:30 p.m., Ramada Plaza & Suites, 1635 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-364-0264 or www.dakotaranch.org (See ad pg. 35)

• “Yee Haw for Hee Haw.” Presented by the Silver Follies. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 5.15 Friday • End of the Year Bash Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • “Yee Haw for Hee Haw.” Presented by the Silver Follies. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 5.16 Saturday • Fargo Birding Festival. 7 a.m.-noon, Forest River Property, 76th Ave. S. & Red River, Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org

• Nature Adventure. 2-4 p.m., Trollwood Park, 3664 Elm St. N., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • “Yee Haw for Hee Haw.” Presented by the Silver Follies. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 5.17 Sunday • The Mutt March. Gooseberry Mound Park, 100 22nd Ave. S., Moorhead, www.4luvofdog.org • Sunday School Carnival. 10-11 a.m., Pontoppidan Lutheran Church, 309 4th St. N., Fargo, 701-232-0998 or www.pontonline.org • Spring Art-Mania. Ages 6 to 12. Learn new art techniques and experiment with different mediums. 1-3 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • “Yee Haw for Hee Haw.” Presented by the Silver Follies. 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org

• Summer Grind. Bladers and skaters will be able to demonstrate their skills during individual exhibitions. 5 p.m., Dike West, 310 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 5.19 Tuesday • Party in the Park. 5:30-8 p.m., Madison, 3010 11th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 5.20 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Steve Miller Band Concert. 7:30 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.scheelsarena.com 5.21 Thursday • American Heart Association Fargo Heart Walk. 5 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 605-787-8808 or www.redrivervalleyheartwalk.org

$$ Financial Assistance for Breast

& Cervical Cancer Screenings

Women's Way may provide a way to pay for

breast and cervical cancer screenings for North Dakota women ages 21-64 who meet eligibility guidelines and are not enrolled in Medicaid, Medicaid Expansion or Medicare Part B. For more information, call 800.44.WOMEN or 298.6918, or go to www.ndhealth.gov/womensway

www.FargoLibrary.org (701) 241-1472

April/May 2015

5.23 Saturday • FM Mounted Posse Horse Show. 8 a.m., Horse Arena, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-200-6799 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

5.28 Thursday • Veterans Memorial Picnic. Celebrate the region’s veterans, military, and their families. Tours of Bonanzaville at 3 p.m., BBQ and music by the Red River Valley Veterans Concert Band at 5:45 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com

5.25 Monday • FM RedHawks vs. Joplin Blasters. Fireworks game. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2356161 or www.fmredhawks.com

5.30 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

5.26 Tuesday • FM RedHawks vs. Joplin Blasters. 11 a.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com • Party in the Park. 5:30-8 p.m., Jefferson School Park, 1622 3rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 5.27 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • FM RedHawks vs. Joplin Blasters. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com

Summer Adventure

at Holy Spirit

A fun, faith centered adventure

PUBLIC LIBRARIES

Call or visit the library for details. Pre-registration may be required. Fargo Public Main Library 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1472 or www.fargolibrary.org • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Registration required. Call for details • Chess Club. Open to players of all levels. Thursdays, 5:308:30 p.m. • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies (birth-18 mos). Apr. 2 & 16, May 7 & 21, 6:30 p.m. • Reading the World Book Club. Apr. 2 & May 7, 7 p.m. • Teen Crafts. Apr. 7, 4 p.m. • Little Squirt Science. For preschoolers. Registration required. Apr. 9 & May 14, 6:30 p.m.; Apr. 10 & May 15, 11 a.m. • PAWS for Reading. Emerging readers can sign up to read to a therapy pet. Registration required. Apr. 11, 1 p.m. • Great Chemistry for Teens. Registration required. Apr. 14, 6:30 p.m. • Children’s Author Jerry Pallotta. Apr. 15, 6:30 p.m. • Associates in Adventure (A.I.A.) Book Club. Grades 4-7. Apr. 21, 4 p.m. • Storytime Superstars Story & Craft. Apr. 24 & May 22, 11 a.m. • DIY Kids’ Craft Club. Grades 3-6. Registration required. Apr. 25 & May 23, 10 a.m. • Legos at the Library. For kids under 12. Apr. 25 & May 23, 2-4 p.m. • Current History Book Club. Apr. 28 & May 26, 7 p.m. • Dads & Kids Make It for Mom. Mother’s Day craft workshop for toddlers and their dads. Apr. 30, 6:30 p.m. • Garden Series. Tuesdays in May, 6:30 p.m.

12 weekly options of Adventures Dr. James Carlson Library 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-476-4040 or www.fargolibrary.org May 26 – Aug 14 • Weekly for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Be a Part of theStorytime tradition jp2schools.org Monday – Friday 7:30 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. FOR INFORMATION CONTACT: Lori 701.893.3271 or Lori.Hager@jp2schools.org

jp2schools.org 30

April/May 2015

Registration required. Call for details • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies (birth-18 mos). Apr. 2 & 16, May 7 & 21, 10 a.m. • Tea Time Book Club. Apr. 5 & May 3, 2 p.m. • Little Squirt Science. For preschoolers. Registration required. Apr. 9 & May 14, 11 a.m. • Teen Crafts. Apr. 9, 4 p.m. • Free Friday Movie. Apr. 10 & May 8, 1 p.m. • Unraveled Crafters Club. Apr. 12 & 26, 1 p.m.

• Storytime Superstars Story & Craft. Apr. 23 & May 21, 11 a.m. • Crafts for Teens & Adults. Registration required. Apr. 30, 6 p.m. • Dads & Kids Make It for Mom. Mother’s Day craft workshop for toddlers and their dads. May 2, 6:30 p.m. Northport Branch 2714 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-476-4026 or www.fargolibrary.org • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Registration required. Call for details • Northport Classics Book Club. Apr. 15 & May 20, 6:30 p.m. • Crafts for Teens & Adults. Registration required. Apr. 28, 6 p.m. West Fargo Public Library 109 3rd St. E., West Fargo, 701-4335460 or www.westfargolibrary.org • Children’s Simply Stories. Tuesdays, 10:15 a.m.

4.11 Kid Quest (Photo by Jen Nelson/ Plains Art Museum)

• Children’s Storytime & Craft. For preschoolers and their caretakers. Tuesdays, 1:30-2 p.m. • Friday Morning Movies. Fridays, 10:30 a.m. • Dave Holzer Woodcarvings Display. Apr. 1-May 10

• Egg-Stravaganza! Egg hunt open to all ages. Apr. 4, 1-3 p.m. • Fun with Food. Storytime, craft, and snack for preschoolers and their caretakers. Apr. 6 & May 11, 1:30 p.m. • School’s Out Craft. Open to all ages. Apr. 6, 3-4 p.m.

April/May 2015

West Fargo Public Library (cont.) • New Release Movies. Apr. 11 & 25, May 23, 2 p.m. • Teacups Book Club. Apr. 13 & May 11, 7 p.m. • Read to a Therapy Dog. Registration required. Apr. 16, 6:30 p.m. • The Lorax at the Library. Design a garden pot and plant a “truffula tree” while watching “The Lorax.” Apr. 23, 6:30-8 p.m. • Couponing Strategies. Apr. 30, 7 p.m. • Banjo Woodcarver Dave Holzer. Banjo music program followed by children’s storytime and craft. May 5, 6:30 p.m. • Watercolor Flowers Class. Registration required. May 7, 6 p.m. • Mother’s Day Card Making. Open to all ages. May 9, 1-2 p.m.

• Summer Reading Program Registration Kickoff. May 30, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Moorhead Public Library 118 5th St. S., Moorhead, 218233-7594 or www.larl.org •O pen Computer Practice. Mondays, 2 p.m. •S torytime Plus. Stories, songs, poems, craft. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. •S torytime. For children of all ages. Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. •B aby Bounce. For infantspreschoolers and their caregivers. Thursdays, 10:15 a.m. •O rigami Club. All ages and abilities welcome. Apr. 6 & May 4, 6:30 p.m. •L ego Club. All ages and abilities welcome. Apr. 9 & May 14, 6-8 p.m.; Apr. 25 & May 23, 2-4 p.m. •D on B – Unicycler & Juggler. Apr. 15, 10:30 a.m.

• Adult Book Club. Apr. 16 & May 21, 7 p.m. • 4-H Presents: Sharpie T-Shirt Tie Dye Art. Recommended for ages 10 and up. Registration encouraged. Apr. 18, 10:30 a.m. • Civil War Presentation. Apr. 18, 1 p.m. • Movie Matinee. Apr. 18 & May 16, 2 p.m. • Classics Book Club. Apr. 21 & May 19, 7 p.m. • Yarn Circle. Bring your knitting, crocheting, or needlework projects. Open to all ages and experience levels. Apr. 23 & May 28, 6:30 p.m. • Toddler Drive-In Movie. Toddlers and their families decorate a cardboard box “car” and watch a short movie. May 1, 10:30 a.m. • Moorhead Library ComicCon. May 9, 1-5 p.m.

• 4-H Presents: Create Bird Houses. Recommended for ages 10 and up. Registration encouraged. May 16, 10:30 a.m. • Bike Day. May 23, storytime at 10:30 a.m., bike basics program at 1 p.m. • Computer & eReader Classes. Call for details

CLASSES

Call for information. Preregistration may be required. Creatively Uncorked www.creativelyuncorked.com • Creatively Kids Painting Events Doulas of the Red River Valley www.doulasrrv.org • The Birth Circle Early Childhood Family Education Classes for infants to kindergarten entry. Probstfield

are OUR business breakfast

April 28th, 2015 • 7:30 am Ramada Plaza Suites & Convention Center

Tickets available online at: www.raccfm.com 65 individual tickets Table and event sponsorships available $

24-Hour Crisis Line: (701) 293-7273 or (800) 344-7273 317 N. 8th Street, Fargo, ND 58102 • www.raccfm.com 32

April/May 2015

Center for Education, 2410 14th St. S., Moorhead, 218284-3400 or https://communityed. moorheadschools.org • Down on the Farm • Family Fun • Incredible Eggs • Let’s Go Fishing • Let’s Go to the Zoo • Super Science • Under the Sea • Weird, Wild, Wacky Art Essentia Health OB Education 3000 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-8100 or www.essentiahealth.org • Basic Training for New Dads • Breastfeeding Class • Car Seat Safety • Lamaze • Mom’s Helpers • Tender Transitions Fargo Park District 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Archery 101 Adult Advance • Archery 101 Family Archery • Archery 202 Youth • Beginner Fly Fishing 101 • Birding 101 • Mother’s Day Craft • Penny & Pals Mini Workshop • Youth Fencing • Youth Outdoor Lacrosse FM Ambulance 701-364-1750 or www.fmambulance.com/education • BLAST Babysitting Course • Heartsaver CPR/AED Fraser, Ltd. 2902 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2323301 or www.fraserltd.org • Adult CPR/First Aid • Infant/Child CPR/First Aid Hospice of the Red River Valley 800-237-4629 or www.hrrv.org • Journeying Through Grief • Youth Journeys Moorhead Parks & Recreation 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com Parenting Resource Center 701-241-5700 or www.ag.ndsu.edu/casscountyextension/ home-and-family • Crossroads of Parenting & Divorce • Infant Massage • Parents Forever

Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org • Youth & Adult Art Experiences Red River Zoo 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Pint-Sized Explorers Sanford Health Community Education 701-234-5570, 877-234-4240 or www.sanfordhealth.org • Baby’s First Ride • Better Choices, Better Health • Breastfeeding Beginnings • Caring for Your Newborn • C.A.R.S. (Children & Restraint Systems) • Family & Friends CPR • Infant Massage • Labor: What to Expect • Lamaze • Our Family is Having a Baby • Safe & Sound – Preparing Your Home for Baby

• FMVA BIG Art Show. Begins Apr. 14 • Coming of Age: The 1968 Generation • Doing Our Part: Clay County in WWII MSUM Planetarium Bridges Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218477-2920 or www.mnstate.edu/planetarium Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org • Julia Buffalohead: Coyote Dreams. Begins Apr. 4 • Lauren Rose Kinney: Much of a Muchness • Bakken Boom! Artists Respond to the North Dakota Oil Rush The Rourke Art Museum 521 Main Ave., Moorhead, 218-236-8861 or www.therourke.org

TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Preschool Open Gym The Village Financial Resource Center 701-235-3328 or www.HelpWithMoney.org • Homebuyer Education • Tenant Education

MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS Call for additional information.

Cass County Historical Museum 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com • Opens May 1 for the season Concordia College Cyrus M. Running Gallery 901 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4623 •S enior Art Exhibition. Apr. 15-May 3 Fargo Air Museum 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www.fargoairmuseum.org •V ietnam Exhibit. May 16-29 Historical & Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www.hcscconline.org

April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z online

eeping secrets is part of growing up. Deciding what you’ll tell people about yourself—and others— is one way children develop an understanding of privacy and trust. With Facebook and other forms of public social media, nothing is secret. Even young children now know that comments or photos become part of a person’s “permanent record.” And that’s one reason many teens are switching to anonymous apps with names like Whisper, Secret, Yik Yak, Street Chat, and FessApp. With anonymous apps, teens can let off steam without worrying about repercussions. They confess crushes and mistakes, make edgy jokes, laugh over embarrassing moments, and divulge sensitive information.

April/May 2015

Some people also feel free to open up about serious problems—abusive relationships, conflicts with friends and family, concerns about mental and physical health, and even self-destructive behaviors such as anorexia, cutting, and suicidal thoughts. That kind of communication is very different from more public forms of social media where everyone puts their best foot forward all the time. Living in a glass house can be boring, exhausting, and even lonely because no one is spontaneous or even honest. At their best, anonymous apps are an opportunity for young people to explore the edges of who they are and find out that their problems are not unique.

Of course, anonymity also has a well-documented dark side. Many people do things they wouldn’t otherwise do when they can’t be held accountable. On anonymous sites, people slander and threaten other people. They spread cruel rumors and solicit sex. Given the potential for serious problems, it’s easy for parents to overreact. That won’t help. Without understanding the allure of anonymous social media, parents can’t set effective limits. Although every anonymous app is a little different, parents quickly gain insight into the appeal of no-name social media by browsing whisper. sh, a site where “whispers” are shared, classified, rated, and

assembled into lists. Even a cursory look reveals whispers that are witty and confessional, harmless fun, and seriously disturbing. Taken together, they provide a remarkable window into the anxieties, preoccupations, embarrassments, and fears of other people; a collage that’s compelling for teens trying to figure out how they fit into the world. Armed with a basic understanding of anonymous social media, parents are in a better position to talk to teens. Here are questions worth asking:

What apps are you using?

Find out what apps your child has installed. Just as important, find out what apps your child’s friends are using. Many kids feel they need to have a particular app simply to keep track of what’s being said by others.

How are apps being used?

Some teens use anonymous apps wisely—posting funny messages or even supporting people who seem to be having a tough time. Other kids are seduced by the popularity contest. In order to get more “likes,” they push the envelope with posts that are increasingly outrageous, sexual, or cruel. Children need to hear from you that you expect them to live up to their values in private as well as public settings.

What’s the appeal of anonymity?

Help your child think through the pros and cons of anonymity. How does it influence what people post? Be sure your child understands that privacy policies for websites often change. Even though anonymity is likely with these apps, it’s never guaranteed. Also, police can and do track down people who break the law by making threats or posting sexual photos of minors.

What’s the role of GPS?

Many popular anonymous apps depend upon the location service built into every smartphone. YikYak, for example, was designed by college students so people on the same campus could share random messages. In high schools, the program has been used for bullying, bashing teachers, and even bomb threats. Yik Yak erected “geofences” that are supposed to make the program off limits for many public schools but, of course, that doesn’t stop students from accessing the program in other settings. If sites like this are causing problems at your child’s school, consider disabling the GPS feature on the phone.

Which sites should be off-limits?

Make it clear that you don’t want your child to use “random chat apps” such as Omegle, Chatrando, and Tiny Chat. These are adult apps which make it all too easy for teens to connect with

e Heading Hom ren

an event for the child Ranch irls at Dakota Boys and G

Thursday, May 14

GROUNDBREAKING: Noon Fargo Campus: 7151 15 St. South

for a Chapel, Gymnasium & Nutrition Center

TOURS: 12:30 - 2 p.m.

refreshments and light lunch included (free/no appointments necessary)

EVENING GALA, at the Ramada, Fargo Social: 5:30 p.m. Dinner: 6:30 p.m. Program: 7:15 p.m.

with speaker, Leslie Aune, former resident

RSVP by May 4 for the evening fundraiser by calling 701.364.0264 or emailing c.isom@dakotaranch.org. www.dakotaranch.org

April/May 2015

strangers. You may also want to steer your child away from sites that have developed a reputation for bullying. Ask.fm, for example, is notorious for cruel questions such as “Why are you fat?” or even “Why don’t you kill yourself?” Some people are trying to create anonymous social networks that bring out the best in people. Let (let.com) is an app that encourages people to award stars to each other. It claims to have zero tolerance for bad behavior. Outpour (outpour. io) allows users to share positive comments they might be too shy to make in person. Their motto: “Go find the beauty in people and tell them.” Even sites that try to monitor and remove offensive posts

won’t be successful all the time, so teens who use anonymous apps are likely to encounter material that is confusing or even upsetting. Opening up candid conversations about these apps defuses their power. Teens may not tell their parents everything, but they should have confidence that, when they are burdened by a secret, the best people to confide in are still Mom and Dad. Carolyn Jabs, M.A., raised three computer-savvy kids including one with special needs. She has been writing Growing Up Online for 10 years and is working on a book about constructive responses to conflict. Visit www.growing-up-online.com to read other columns.

The Village Counselors are here to help. In many cases, The Village’s in-office counseling (for individuals, couples, parents, and children) is covered by your health insurance. Online counseling is also available.

1201 25th St. S., Fargo • 701-451-4900 1401 8th St. S., Moorhead • 701-451-4811 www.TheVillageFamily.org 36

April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z feature

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By He

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Lued Smith

Parenting is serious business, and it can be overwhelming at times. It can also be a whole lot of fun if you find ways to sneak some play into your day. You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to shirk grownup responsibilities or make a fool of yourself (not that thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s anything wrong with that) to become a more playful parent.

SHaun with son Chace in Moorhead

(Photo by Stevie Harmon)

April/May 2015

Here are some easy-peasy ways to have more fun with your kids. Why not try one today? You can clean out the fridge tomorrow.

Answer the call of nature.

The demands of adult life can be hard to ignore. Bills are piled up on your desk and dinner isn’t on the table… yet. Ditch the distractions by going outside. Walk or bicycle around the neighborhood or help your kids build a fort, sandcastle, or snowman. Outdoor playtime is especially energizing.

Work it out.

A game of catch, tag, or capture the flag can substitute for your usual workout if you let yourself get sweaty. Sports help kids develop muscle strength, coordination, and control. They also burn off extra energy before bedtime. That means everyone gets to rest easier.

Take a role.

Is your child begging you to join him in fantasy land? Enact your assigned role with gusto. Adopt an appropriate voice, and use outlandish gestures to define your character. Stay in the role even if your child starts to slip back into reality—this is guaranteed to give kids the giggles. And nothing is quite as contagious as a good belly laugh.

Teach grownup games.

If children’s games can’t hold your interest for more than a minute, it’s time to up the ante. Teach kids the basic rules of adult games, like checkers, blackjack, or Yahtzee. Keep score for both yourself and your child if she isn’t old enough to 38

April/May 2015

Chris with sons Connor and Graeme in Moorhead (Photo by Jaci Kulish)

do the math. Grown-up games can be fun (and educational) for everyone.

Bend the rules.

Kids often enjoy making up their own rules to games. Let them have at it. Follow their instructions in the spirit of playfulness instead of harping on the “real rules” of the game. Play is supposed to be creative and expansive, not stodgy and confining.

Change up the usual routine.

Serve breakfast for dinner or have a pizza picnic on the living room floor. Pitch a tent in the backyard and camp out overnight as a family. Wear silly socks or turn your sweatshirt inside out. Everyday activities like eating and sleeping can be playful if you get creative.

Jodi with daughter Skylar, Fargo Marathon Kid’s Run (Photo by Angie Schultz)

Laugh at the absurd moments in parenting with these humorous books. They’ll make you smile when you feel like crying.

School Age, Tweens, and Teens (You’re Killing Me!)

“Awkward Family Photos” by Mike Bender and Doug Chernack “Blacklisted from the PTA” by Lela Davidson

Infants, Toddlers, and Preschoolers (Oh, My!)

“Days of Derangement: Sidesplitting Stories From a Loopy Life” by Jackie Papandrew “Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves” by Robin O’Bryant “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir: How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs” by Tracy Beckerman “The Parent Trip: From High Heels and Parties to Highchairs and Potties” by Jenna McCarthy

“When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood” by Sophia Fraioli and Lauren Kaelin “Who Peed on My Yoga Mat?” by Lela Davidson

Shift your speed.

Are you feeling impatient or stressed out by the pace of family life? Laugh it off by talking and moving in fastforward or super slow-motion. Kids can’t help noticing you are doing something different when you change your pace. A little levity opens the pressure-relief valve so you can cope more effectively.

We bring families together Adoption

Make faces.

Your mother may have warned you that your face would freeze in a scowl if you didn’t change your expression. But you know that’s not true. Have a contest with the kids to see who can make the goofiest facial expression. Take pics with your smartphone, and post them to Facebook so friends can vote on the winner. Who needs dignity when you have bragging rights? Heidi Smith Luedtke is a personality psychologist and mom who enjoys silly scavenger hunts and backyard campouts. She’s the author of “Detachment Parenting: 33 Ways to Keep Your Cool When Kids Melt Down.”

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Prenuptial Agreements

Paternity

Abuse Issues

Collaborative Negotiating

Gestational Agreements

Parenting Schedules

Child and Spousal Support

lawyers for families

www.gjesdahllaw.com |

701.237.3009

April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z celebrations

April/May 2015

By Kelly Lynch

s the Disney song from “Pinocchio” goes, “When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.” While most people recognize wishes are not magically granted, the process is a wonderful way to identify the objects of your hopes and dreams. Here are a few ways, beyond wishing on that first glowing star of the evening, people around the world practice the custom of wishing.

Wishing Wells and Fountains

You know you’ve done it. Who hasn’t tossed a coin into a fountain and silently hoped for something wonderful to happen? Have you ever wondered why we wish over flowing water? The practice likely began hundreds of years ago. Because water is vital to sustaining human life, when early European tribes came upon clean water, they believed it was a gift from the gods. The Germanic and Celtic peoples of Europe regarded wells and springs as sacred and tossed in coins and other valuable trinkets to ask favors of the gods and to show their appreciation. Copper and silver coins had properties that

would often improve the water, so it wasn’t a huge leap to believe coins dropped into a fountain brought luck. Today, people all over the world throw coins into fountains to make wishes. At West Acres Shopping Center in Fargo, the Fountain of Abundance, located in the JCPenney wing, is constructed beneath a generous skylight to provide a sun-drenched water oasis. Optimistic coin-tossers of all ages take a chance and make a wish. The “proceeds” from the wishes are gathered up monthly (to make room for new wishes) and donated to area charitable organizations and funds. In 2014, more than 45 donations were made. The Trevi Fountain in Rome, Italy, is one of the world’s most famous recipients of coininspired wishes, thanks in part to the 1954 movie, “Three Coins in the Fountain.” Legend says the person who tosses a coin into Trevi Fountain will one day return to Rome. It is estimated the fountain generates approximately $4,000 each day which is given to a local charity.

April/May 2015

Dandelions

The dandelion has a multi-faceted reputation. While many consider it a pesky weed, it is loaded with vitamins and minerals and may have health benefits. The dandelion’s use as a folk remedy to cure many ills may have led people to believe it was magical. Many believers rely on the dandelion to facilitate their wish traditions. One practice suggests when you see the brilliant yellow of the first dandelion of the season spring up, you make your wish. The other legend has to do with the dandelion after it matures into a puff ball. The white fuzz that develops as the dandelion ages is attached to the seeds. According to Irish custom, you pick the dandelion at this stage of development, make a wish, and gently blow the fluff. If all of the fluffy seeds dissipate with a single blow, your wish will be granted.

dried, two people hold each end of the bone between their thumb and forefinger, make a wish, and pull it apart until it breaks. The person with the larger piece of bone will get his or her wish granted. The history has some foundation in the ancient belief that fowl were fortune tellers. Thousands of years ago, Italians would touch the dried clavicle of a bird and make a wish. This morphed into two people tugging on either end of the wishbone. The English took many of the Roman customs, so when the Pilgrims arrived in the new world, the wish tradition surrounding fowl came with them. The abundance of turkeys made them the center of our Thanksgiving feast, and the turkey wishbone ritual followed right along. The wishbone can be found in any bird, so the custom includes turkeys, chickens, and other fowl any time of year.

Wishbone

Birthday Candles

When your family gathers together for Thanksgiving, does everyone fight over the wishbone? The wish tradition is that after the wishbone (a part of the breastbone of a bird) is cleaned and

Refer a child today.

Cindy, 8 respiratory condition I wish to be an ear, nose and throat (ENT) doctor

Do you know a child between the ages of 21/2 and 18 battling a life-threatening medical condition? The road to a joyful wish experience starts when a caring person refers a child to Make-A-Wish®.

mn.wish.org • 612.767.9474 northdakota.wish.org • 701.280.9474

April/May 2015

The ritual of putting candles on cakes can likely be traced back to ancient Greece. The Greeks delivered round cakes, symbolizing the moon, to the temple of Artemis to honor the moon

goddess. They lit candles adorning the cakes to represent the glow of the moon. Other cultures began fashioning round cakes and consuming them simply because of their delicious taste. The first birthday cake seems to have evolved from Germany in the Middle Ages. The Germans commemorated the birthdays of young children with cakes, calling the celebration Kinderfest. A candle would often adorn the cake to represent the “light of life.” Today, many cultures place candles on cakes. Typically, the number of candles on the cake represents the age of the person being celebrated. The wish tradition calls for that person to make a silent request and blow out all the candles in one breath, so the wish comes true (as long as you keep your wish a secret).

Shooting Stars

The cosmic wonder of stars shooting through the sky undoubtedly played a role in their becoming a wish tradition. Technically speaking, these glowing trails are not stars but meteors, produced when a meteoroid burns up in the Earth’s atmosphere. Cultures worldwide have

different beliefs about shooting stars. The superstition of hoping for wishes to be granted when witnessing a shooting star probably dates back to the ancient world. Some believe if you make a wish while viewing a shooting star, it will come true. Other cultures believe you must do something in addition to wishing while viewing the shooting star in order for your wish to come true. In Chili, legend says you must pick up a stone, and in the Philippines, you need to tie a knot in a handkerchief before the meteor burns out in order for your wish to come true.

Rainbows

Millions of tiny rain droplets reflect light which creates the awe-inspiring beauty of the rainbow. A variety of wishing customs surround this natural, colorful prism. One tradition suggests you make a wish at the first sign of a rainbow. Another says when you see a rainbow, you should wish for money, which is likely an extension of the Irish legend that there is a pot of

gold at the end of the rainbow. A third tradition says that, upon witnessing this rare weather phenomenon, you wish for the same thing three times as you look at the beginning, middle, and end of the rainbow. Many of these wish customs have been observed throughout the world for hundreds—in some cases, thousands—of years. The fervent desire or hope for something not easily attainable keeps people tossing coins into fountains, blowing fluff off of dandelions, or wishing on stars. And sometimes, just identifying these hopes and dreams is the first step in making them come true—so maybe wishes really do work! (Information for this article was gathered from a number of sources including: “Wishing Traditions Around the World” by M. J. Cosson, “Wish: Wishing Traditions Around the World” by Roseanne Thong and www.thewishingproject.com.) Kelly Lynch is the editor-in-chief of The Village Family Magazine. Send comments to her at magazine@TheVillageFamily.org.

48th Annual

2015 NORTH

DAKOTA PICNIC Brought to you by

When Wishes Go Beyond Dandelions and Rainbows World Wish Day® is April 29

Real-life, grantable wishes improve the lives of children dealing with lifethreatening medical conditions through Make-A-Wish®, an organization that has been granting wishes for 35 years. Make-A-Wish data shows that 96 percent of parents said the wish strengthened their families, and 99 percent of parents reported the wish experience gave their children increased feelings of happiness. During the month of April, MakeA-Wish encourages people to donate dollars or airline miles to fund airline tickets for wishes that involve travel—a component of nearly 75 percent of all wishes. Make-A-Wish chapters of North Dakota and Minnesota urge people to participate. Beginning April 1 and culminating on World Wish Day® on April 29, supporters can visit www.wish.org/tickets to donate dollars or frequent flier miles in just a few easy steps. Help kids take flight!

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April/May 2015

Financial Counselor

ASK A COUNSELOR Jeremy Traen, LSW, LAC, LADC Outpatient Services Program Director ShareHouse, Inc.

Jenna Boerger

Certified Financial Counselor The Village Family Service Center

Q:How can I tell if my spending is out of control?

To help identify the danger signals associated with overspending, financial counselors at The Village give the following 10 warning signs to determine if spending is out of control.

1. Purchases hidden from others. 2. Bills paid late or ignored. 3. Checking accounts routinely overdrawn. 4. Credit essential to maintain current lifestyle level. 5. Unwilling to review how money is spent. 6. Unaware of how much is owed. 7. Items routinely purchased, and then returned. 8. Shopping used as a salve for emotional stress. 9. Unwilling to set financial goals. 10. Afraid to check credit report and score. If you identify with any of the actions, seek help immediately. The problem will not resolve itself. The Village Family Service Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo 701-235-3328 or 1-800-450-4019 www.TheVillageFamily.org www.HelpWithMoney.org

Q: A:

I am concerned about my significant other and their use of substances. Can you explain the treatment steps?

The process of treatment begins with a two hour evaluation with one of our Licensed Addiction Counselors, consisting of open-ended questions. Then recommendations are made for either outpatient or residential services and if need be other mental health services. Outpatient services consist of educational components and six to twenty hours of group therapy a week. A residential stay at one of our facilities includes thirty plus hours a week of programming. Attendance of groups typically lasts anywhere from four to twelve weeks; consisting of presentations by professionals and assignments to help attendees with their issues in relation to their use. ShareHouse has online resources at www.ShareHouse.org. Click on the “Ask A Counselor” link or you can call ShareHouse at 701-282-6561. ShareHouse, Inc. 701-282-6561 www.ShareHouse.org

advance directives

Judy Peterson, LSW

Clinical Education Supervisor Hospice of the Red River Valley time I have an appointment with my Q:Each doctor, I’m asked if I have an advance directive. What is an advance directive and

why do I need one? An advance directive is a written plan that documents your wishes concerning the medical treatments you want—or do not want—at the end of life. They are used during times you can’t speak for yourself and serve as a guide for your family and friends. They can also be used to appoint someone to make decisions for you if you can’t do so yourself. An advance directive gives you a better chance of having your wishes carried out, even if you can’t talk to the doctors about what you want. As you develop your advance directive, no matter your choices, make sure your loved ones are aware of your wishes and preferences before you face a medical crisis.

Hospice of the Red River Valley 701-356-1536 www.HRRV.org

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YOUR FAMILY z food & fun

Mini Memo Board • 10” square of cardboard

• 12” square of scrapbook paper • Ribbon • Scissors • Buttons • Hot glue gun Lay scrapbook paper upside down on table. Place square of cardboard in center of paper. Fold edges of paper over cardboard and hot glue in place. Lay ribbon diagonally across the front of your cardboard square, pulling taut. Cut the ends so there are a few inches overlapping to wrap around the back. Hot glue ribbon in place on the back of the cardboard. Repeat with additional lengths of ribbon, making sure to criss cross some of the pieces and pull them tight. Hot glue buttons where the ribbon pieces meet. Add a loop of ribbon to the back for hanging. Tuck photos and notes into the ribbon for displaying.

Tommy, Age 5

Flower Blossom Art

A+ Eggs

• Hash browns (frozen, fresh, or dehydrated) • Eggs, poached • Knorr Hollandaise Sauce Mix • Paprika This is an A-plus way to start the day. Fry hash browns, cooking until golden brown. Prepare hollandaise sauce as directed on package, keep warm. Make the poached eggs. On each plate, start with a layer of hash browns, top with eggs, ladle on hollandaise sauce, and garnish with paprika. Use finely shredded cheese in place of the sauce for a gluten-free alternative.

• Brown, black, and one other paint color of your choice • Paintbrush • Empty 2-liter pop bottle • White construction paper • Paper plate Use the brown and black paint to draw branches on the construction paper. Pour some of the third paint color onto the paper plate. Dip the bottom of the pop bottle into the colored paint and press onto construction paper to make “flower prints” around the branches. (Submitted by: School-Age Room at Nokomis II)

April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z words & wisdom Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them—a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. –Muhammad Ali Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! –Anne Frank The things you want are always possible; it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent. The only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experience. –Les Brown You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. –Wayne Gretzky 46

April/May 2015

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned. –J.K. Rowling Life can deal you an amazing hand. Do you play it steady, bluff like crazy or go all in? –Joe Simpson Sometimes not having any idea where we’re going works out better than we could possibly have imagined. –Ann Patchett If you go looking for a friend, you're going to find they're very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere. –Zig Ziglar

39029-00017 2/15

REST OR RESTLESS Does Acid Reflux make you dread going to bed?

Sanford Center for Digestive Health is the largest and most experienced team in the region. Our expert physicians offer a full scope of gastroenterology care and services unmatched in this region. See us regarding conditions or symptoms such as: • Acid Reflux / Chronic Heartburn • Stomach pain after eating • Persistent nausea, diarrhea, or constipation • Symptoms or diagnosis of Celiac Disease • Inflammatory Bowel Disease Choose expert care. Choose Sanford.

Call (701) 234-2525 to make an appointment.