The Village Family Magazine - February/March 2015 by The Village Family Service Center

Fargo-Moorhead’s Biggest Family Events Calendar

February/March 2015

Easing

Your Toddler’s

Fears

birthday traditions from around the world

Donate to Nokomis on

On Thursday, February 12, make a donation of $10 or more online to Nokomis of The Village Family Service Center at impactgiveback.org, and Dakota Medical Foundation will match the first $4,000 given. This is an online-only event. Go to impactgiveback.org and choose â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nokomis of The Village Family Service Center.â&#x20AC;? For more information, call Tasha at 701-451-4956.

Check out our Nokomis kids interviews, starting in February! www.thevillagefamily.org/nokomis/kidvids

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JUST ONE THING

from our experts, for your health

“Unplug & connect with those that matter.” Jodi Boerger Wilder, PsyD, LP Child Psychologist

EssentiaHealth.org/JustOneThing

YOUR FAMILY z from the editor February/March 2015 Vol. 19, No. 1 Publisher The Village Family Service Center Gary Wolsky Tammy Noteboom Editor-in-Chief Kelly Lynch Graphic Design & Layout Jared Zimney Advertising Sales Manager Joy Ryan Calendar Editor Shayna Hendricksen Copy Editor Shayna Hendricksen The Village Family Service Center Board of Directors Carrie Bjorge, Steve Connelly, David Dougherty, Richard Duysen, Al Erickson, Judy Green, Matthew Hallaway, Dr. Richard Hanson, Tammy Hauck, Richard Henderson, Dr. Karen Mellum, Tom Nelson, Dr. Joy Query, Becky Walen

For advertising, call 701-451-4937 For editorial comments or questions, please call 701-451-4937 or email magazine@ TheVillageFamily.org For subscription information, please call 701-451-4936 Printed by Forum Communications Printing, Fargo, N.D. ©2015 The Village Family Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. The Village Family Magazine is a registered trademark. The Village Family Magazine does not necessarily endorse content of advertising. The mission of The Village Family Magazine is to broaden the ability of The Village Family Service Center to improve the quality of people’s lives. In each issue, articles and features will educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships. Mail correspondence to: The Village Family Service Center ATTN: Family Magazine 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 58103

February/March 2015

This time of year, I start looking for something to fill the hours until spring comes and sunlight sticks around a bit longer. I love to do arts and crafts, but my artistic talent isn’t outstanding or noteworthy. I recently discovered the art of doodling. These days, it goes by a few different names like Zendoodle or Zentangle, but essentially, it’s conscious doodling. If you find yourself drawing hearts, stars, simple shapes, etc., in meetings or while you’re on the phone—this may be the pastime for you. What I like about this craft is that it requires no formal artistic training or talent. You just doodle. What makes it distinct is that you pay attention to what you’re doodling, get absorbed in the pattern of it all, and maybe even relax! It’s simple to get started. You can doodle with any writing utensil on any writing surface. If you want to be more methodical about it, get yourself some fine-tipped markers and some heavier watercolor paper or cardstock and start doodling. Search the internet for “zentangle” or “tangle patterns” and you’ll find oodles of inspirational designs and ideas for expanding your doodling skills. It’s the perfect hobby for enduring February/March weather in the Red River Valley. Reading The Village Family Magazine is another wonderful way to stay entertained. This year’s reader survey (from our October/November 2014 issue) generated a record number of responses. It is so encouraging to hear from our readers and get their input. Once again, readers suggested topics we already had scheduled for future issues, which tells us we are staying in touch with what readers want. Jennifer M., Moorhead, suggested an article on photography tips. Hopefully, she read our December/January 2015 (page 20) story that featured family photo tips from local photographers Lindsay Arbach, Mitch Highman, and Shane Mercer. (If you can’t find the article, email me, magazine@thevillagefamily.org, and I’ll send you a PDF.) Emily R., Fargo, wanted us to write about sibling rivalry. We’ve got a terrific article in this issue, “Stop the Fighting! Straightforward Solutions to Sibling Rivalry.” It is filled with great suggestions to bring some harmony to your home life if sibling rivalry is running rampant. In upcoming issues we promise to continue our mission to provide “articles and features that will educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships.” Thanks for reading,

Congratulations to the winners of our survey drawing! Jody J., Moorhead Diane M., Dilworth

About the Cover Photo Teddy (Age 4) Photography by Aspen Marleau Photography

departments z spiritual

6 10 Ways to Do What You Don’t Want to Do

It’s difficult to take on tasks that are unpleasant, but here is a list of tips to get you started. z parenting

14 Stop the Fighting! Straightforward Solutions to Sibling Rivalry

Promote peace in your home by communicating with your kids and addressing the issues that lead to sibling rivalry and squabbling.

z consumer

17 Squeezed for Time in the Kitchen? Simple Strategies for Stress-Free Dinners A little pre-planning and flexibility are just two tactics to get dinner on the table with less stress and fuss. z parenting

20 Easing Your Toddler’s Fears

There are lots of things that can frighten a toddler. Learn ways to help your toddler deal with his or her fears and overcome them. z money

36 Rethink Receiving a Tax Refund

Consider reducing or eliminating your tax refund each year, and make those dollars part of your regular paycheck again. z feature

40 Birthday Traditions From Around the World

The importance of birthdays varies from culture to culture. Discover how this unique day is celebrated across the globe. in every issue z gary’s opinion.......... 9

z events calendar....... .24

z books & movies....... 10

z food & fun................ .45

z mom’s view.............. 12

z words & wisdom...... .46

z dad’s view................ 13

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February/March 2015

YOUR FAMILY z spiritual

By Leo Babauta Life would be grand if we only did what our fleeting hearts wanted to do, each moment of the day. Unfortunately, the laundry, taxes, and difficult conversations would never get done. The best books would never be written. All the achievements of humankind would be imagined, not realized. So what should we do if we’re facing a task we don’t want to do? Well, we can run and find distraction. That usually works, until it causes problems. Or we can find a way to get things done. Here’s how.

1. Meditate on why you need to do this. Instead of giving into distraction, sit there for a minute. Why do you need to do this task you don’t want to do? Sure, because it’s on your to-do list or because someone else wants you to do it. Or you’re getting paid for it, or someone’s

February/March 2015

got to do it. But why? What will this task help accomplish? Who is it helping? Dig deeper and find the good that you’re creating in the world. If you’re a dishwasher, you might not think getting dirty dishes clean matters, but those dishes are required to serve food, and the food nourishes people, and it can make them happy, and then they can go out and do something good in the world with a smile on their face. So connect the dishes to the good.

2. Meditate on your fear. The thing that’s stopping you from doing the task, or wanting to do it, is fear. You fear failure or looking bad; you fear the discomfort or confusion of the task. So take a moment to look inward and see this fear. Feel it. Accept it as part of you instead of running from it.

3. L et go of your ideal. If this fear were gone, you could just do the task easily. So what is causing the fear? Some ideal you have, some fantasy about life being free of discomfort, confusion, embarrassment, imperfection. That’s not reality, just fantasy, and it’s getting in your way by causing fear. So let go of the fantasy, the ideal, the expectation, just embrace reality—this task before you— nothing else.

4. Intention, not results. You are caught up with the results of the task—what will happen if you do it, what failure might result. So forget about the result—you can’t know what it will be anyway; that’s in the future. For now, focus on your intention: Why are you doing it? If it’s to make the life of a loved one better, then that’s your intention. That intention is true no matter what the result is. Focus on this, not what bad things might or might not happen.

5. Embrace the suck. Doing something hard sucks. It’s not easy, and often you’re confused about how to do it because you haven’t done it much before. So what? Hard things suck, but life isn’t always peaches with roses on top (and a sprinkle of cinnamon). It sucks sometimes, and that’s perfectly fine. Embrace all of life, thorns and pits and all. Life would be boring without the suck. So smile, embrace the suck, and get moving.

6. Give yourself constraints. We tend to rebel against restraints: “I don’t want to do this! I want freedom!” Well, unfortunately, having unlimited freedom means unlimited choices, unlimited distractions, and nothing gets done. Simplify by putting restraints on yourself: Do only one task at a time. Do just this one task for now. Do it for 10 minutes. Forbid yourself from going to any other websites, or checking anything on your phone, or doing anything else that you like to do for distraction, until you do those 10 minutes. Ask a friend to hold you accountable—another restraint that often helps.

February/March 2015

7. Do a little, then get up. If you have to write something, just write a sentence. Then get up, get some water, stretch. Pat yourself on the back for getting started! Now do a little more. Write a few more sentences. Get up, take a mental break (don’t go to another website), do a few pushups. Go back and do a bit more. Pretty soon, you’re in the flow of it.

8. Don't let your mind run. Your mind will want to run. That’s OK; that’s the nature of minds. They are scared, and they will rationalize your desire for distraction, for doing what’s easy. Watch this happen—don’t try to stop the phenomena, but don’t give it anywhere to run to. Watch the mind want to run, but don’t act. Just watch. It will eventually calm down.

9. Find gratitude. This task might seem hard or sucky, but actually there are a lot of great things about it. For example, if you’re doing it for work, hey, you have a job! You have money to buy food and shelter! You have eyes, ears, and a mind to do this task! Imagine life without all these things, and then try feeling sorry for yourself for having to do something so hard. Or, instead, try being grateful for the opportunity to do some good in the world, to learn from this task, to get better, to be mindful as you do it.

Adult Substance Abuse Treatment Services Recovery Begins with the First Step

A Program of The Village Family Service Center

3201 Fiechtner Drive • Fargo 701.293.3384 www.FirstStep-Recovery.com Blue Cross/Blue Shield Preferred Provider. We Also Accept Most Other Insurance Plans.

February/March 2015

10. L earn and grow. By meditating on your intentions and fear, by letting go of ideals and embracing the suck, by giving yourself constraints and finding gratitude, you’re learning about yourself. This task, as mundane or scary as it might seem, is teaching you about your mind. That’s a wonderful thing. So this task is a huge learning opportunity. What a wonderful way to spend your time! Leo Babauta is a writer, runner, and father of six. To read more of his work, visit www. zenhabits.net.

YOUR FAMILY z gary’s opinion

When Communities Care By Gary Wolsky, President/CEO The Village Family Service Center A while back, there was a story on the evening news about a local cop who came across a young man—a third grader, maybe—who had a passion for playing basketball but couldn’t “make Wolsky the team.” He actually couldn’t even try out for the team. He couldn’t afford basketball shoes, shorts, registration fees, etc. It appeared his basketball career was over before it started. But then the magic started. The policeman shared the story with his friends back at the station. Soon there was a kitty of $500. Then the basketball coach paid the registration cost, and our young friend became a proud basketball player. Because they raised more than they needed, the boy’s sister was able to join gymnastics. This young man didn’t look like he was of Norwegian descent, and he may have been new to our country and community. Of course this made no difference. These kids needed a bit of a boost, and they were lucky enough to have landed in a community that takes care of its people. What better symbolism can exist than to have a policeman—a man in blue—who in every way represents the values of the community as a whole, stepping in to give a hand? When my great-grandfather, Ludwig, got to North Dakota from Russia sometime in the 1880s, there was already a German-Russian community in existence—although very basic—in rural Nome and Lucca to help him get started. Decades later, Ludwig and his son, Daniel, owned several dozen quarters of land and were growing in prosperity. They used this prosperity to sponsor many people from the “old country” by guaranteeing work, shelter, and money, so they wouldn’t become wards of the state. It took a community then, just as it does now. It was different then—very different—but it was also the same. I think of our kids and grandkids and all the complexities of life in the fast lane and how their lives would be more complex without the support of their family. We have the incredible good fortune to have three grown kids all in the “neighborhood” and four (so far) grandkids. In a real sense, as has always been the case, we have a family-community within a community. Everyone pitches in, and it’s a wonderful and prideful thing to both watch and be a part of. In any given week you could find, besides Grandma and Grandpa, our kids sharing hockey, dance, illnesses, moving responsibilities, etc. You name it and you can find the whole family engaged in it. Our grandkids are the sixth generation since Ludwig arrived and negotiated the purchase price of his first ox (I would have loved to have been there to see that). He quickly developed a support system

from the standpoint of the family, the church, and the community that fostered his prosperity. That system apparently had not developed yet for our young basketball friend and his family. But thankfully, they had the huge benefit of an officer who knew and understood the value and importance of community spirit. There is probably no better reflection of a healthy community under these circumstances than that special 9-year-old shooting baskets and getting ready for the big game, complete with new shoes and a warm-up suit. Hats off to our local police, and to the community, for making this a healthy place to live and raise kids. The opinions expressed in this column are strictly those of The Village Family Service Center CEO. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the organization, staff, or boards of directors.

February/March 2015

YOUR FAMILY z m vies

Jared “Star Wars: A New Hope”

G On DVD March 3 Take one more trip to Pixie Hollow and delight in Disney’s latest Tinker Bell adventure. An ancient tale tells of a comet that will unleash an enormous creature known as the NeverBeast. The myth sparks the curiosity of Tinker Bell and her friend Fawn—an energetic and bubbly animal fairy with a heart of gold. The scout fairies are determined to capture the mysterious beast. Fawn must persuade her fairy friends to risk everything to alter the fate of Pixie Hollow and rescue the NeverBeast. This thrilling animated adventure is voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin, Rosario Dawson, Mae Whitman, Lucy Liu, and Raven-Symoné.

PG Available on DVD As most people know, this story begins a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. “Star Wars: A New Hope” is the fourth episode of six movies in the saga, but was the first one released (1977) and really should be watched first in order to truly appreciate the entire saga. Luke Skywalker has never experienced any kind of adventure growing up on a desert planet, © Twentieth Century Fox / Lucasfilm but that all changes when the evil Galactic Empire comes snooping around. With the help of his old friend Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke learns about a mystical power known as “The Force.” After meeting Han Solo and Chewbacca, Luke finds himself thrust in the middle of a war between the Rebel Alliance and the Empire. The Empire, however, has a secret weapon—a planet-sized, super-weapon capable of destroying entire worlds with one shot. Luke and the Rebels must defeat the Empire and their leader, Darth Vader, before it’s too late. Stars include Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher.

“ParaNorman”

PG On Netflix Instant Stream Norman is something of a loner. His parents don’t understand him; no one understands him. He lives in a small New England town known for a centuries-old witch hunt. Norman has the unique ability to see and speak to the ghosts who live there. When the community is overtaken by zombies, Norman must use his gift of talking to the dead to save the town. This entertaining, stop-motion animation film is both funny and scary with its share of ghosts, zombies, and witches. Common Sense Media suggests it is great for older tweens and middle-schoolers and dubs it a “cool frightfest” for that age group.

February/March 2015

“Cinderella”

PG In Theaters March 13 This is a liveaction retelling of the beloved fairy tale about an unlucky stepdaughter, her wicked stepmother, and a charming prince who captures the young girl’s heart. Forced to work as a servant in her stepmother’s house, Ella toils each day among the ashes and is maliciously nicknamed, Cinderella. Despite the cruelty around her, Ella is filled with kindness and never sees the bad in others. An invitation to the ball seems beyond her reach until Ella’s Fairy Godmother comes to the rescue. The star-studded cast includes Helena Bonham Carter, Cate Blanchett, Lily James, and Richard Madden.

“Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast”

YOUR FAMILY z Baby & Preschool “Moo!” by David LaRochelle When Cow gets her hooves on the farmer’s car, she takes it for a wild ride through the country. Moooo! But a bump in the road brings this joy ride to a troublesome end. Moo-moo. Has Cow learned her lesson about living life in the fast lane? Moo? This imaginative picture book will have readers laughing one moment and on the edge of their seats the next, as it captures the highs and lows of a mischievous cow’s very exciting day.

Ages 4 to 8 “Waiting is Not Easy!” by Mo Willems Gerald the elephant and Piggie the pig are best friends. Gerald is careful. Piggie is not. Piggie cannot help smiling. Gerald can. Gerald worries so that Piggie does not have to. In “Waiting Is Not Easy!” Piggie has a surprise for Gerald, but he is going to have to wait for it. And Wait. And wait some more. A helpful book for boys and girls learning about what closeness really means.

Teenagers “Panic” by Lauren Oliver Excitement doesn’t come easy in dead-end Carp, New York. To spike the adrenalin, graduating high-schoolers invented a dangerous game aptly called Panic and sweetened the lure with a large cash prize, a readymade ticket out of this nowhere town. Heather knows the human stakes of the contest—her own sister sits paralyzed from a previous game—but she enters anyway because of the money involved. Dodge joins the fray for a somewhat different reason. What they and the other competitors learn about themselves and each other grabs our attention in this new novel by Delirium trilogy author Lauren Oliver.

Book Reviews Courtesy Barnes & Noble, Fargo

Ages 9 to 12 “Sisters” by Raina Telgemeier Raina can’t wait to be a big sister. But once Amara is born, things aren’t quite how she expected them to be. Amara is cute, but she’s also a cranky, grouchy baby, and mostly prefers to play by herself. Their relationship doesn’t improve much over the years, but when a baby brother enters the picture and later, something doesn’t seem right between their parents, they realize they must figure out how to get along. They are sisters, after all. Raina uses her signature humor and charm in both present-day narrative and perfectly placed flashbacks to tell the story of her relationship with her sister, which unfolds during the course of a road trip to a family reunion in Colorado.

Adults “Yes Please” by Amy Poehler Whether she’s playing Hillary Clinton to Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin on SNL or climbing walls (real or metaphorical) on “Parks & Recreation,” Amy Poehler rides a wave of ironic, yet upbeat humor. In this much-awaited debut, the multi-talented celeb writes with winning candor about sundry topics including, but not limited to, her experiences as a child of two Massachusetts teacher parents, early career calamities, television fame, movie fortune, and family happiness. This aptly-titled affirmation qualifies as the perfect shelf companion to Fey’s “Bossypants.”

February/March 2015

YOUR FAMILY z mom’s view

Why It’s “In” to Be a Geek By Gwen Rockwood

I am a geek. Always have been. But now it’s easy—and almost cool—to admit it. Twenty-five years ago? Not so much. Back then, my glasses, braces, and clarinet carrying case were all social life liabilities. In the ‘80s, if you aced a few spelling tests or a teacher praised you for being smart, you found yourself on the fast track to Geeksville, and nobody wanted to be there. But times have changed and now we live in a much more geek-friendly world. Some of our coolest modern-day conveniences wouldn’t exist were it not for the long hours and irrational obsessions nurtured by a few world-changing geeks. The next time you use a computer, Google something using a smartphone, or “like” a funny picture on Facebook, you have a geek to thank. I’m happy to report that, thanks to a kinder, gentler, geekloving culture, smart kids are flourishing. About a month ago, I volunteered to help coach my son’s middle school Quiz Bowl team as they prepared for an upcoming tournament. Lucky for me, the coaching duties were easy. I mostly just asked the kids trivia questions and read off the answers when they missed one. The limited duties worked in my favor because these kids are way smarter than me. I marvel at how they can recall who invented the cotton gin or the main characters in a Shakespearian play. The sheer proximity to this wealth of brain power has turned me into one of “those parents”—the ones who get a little too enthusiastic about their kids’ extracurricular activities. After a few Quiz Bowl practices, I noticed a pattern in the types of questions the kids had trouble with, so I researched those subjects and made a study guide full of the kind of random facts that win Quiz Bowl competitions: a list of amendments to the U.S. Constitution, definitions for terms like “spondee” and “anapest,” and everything you ever didn’t want to know about elements in the periodic table. I made copies of the study guide and then assembled the pages on my living room floor one night, hole-punching, organizing, and putting them into three-ring binders. That’s when it hit me that perhaps I’d caught a bad case of geek fever. In the midst of all the hole-punching, I looked over at my husband, who was watching television like a normal person, and said, “Honey, have I gone too far here? The kids are going to think I’m weird, right?” “No, it’s…nice that you’re being helpful,” he said (which I’m pretty sure was code for “Oh no, what have I done? I married a Super Nerd.”) During the next practice session, I passed out my supergeeky study guide binders to the kids on the Quiz Bowl team, hoping it might give them a competitive edge in the upcoming tournament. None of them rolled their tween-age eyes at me and—even though perhaps they should have—no one told me 12

February/March 2015

Illustration by Trygve Olson

to go get a life. And that just reinforces what I love most about great geeks—the way they not only accept, but embrace what used to be shunned as geeky. They don’t dumb themselves down so they’ll blend more easily into the typical teenage social scene. But they don’t let their intelligence turn them arrogant, either. They’re smart and quirky but also kind and funny—four of the best adjectives you can be. I’m grateful to be raising kids during a time when parents can be happy if their kids excel at sports, but also equally thrilled when kids find their niche in other areas that require just as much skill and strategy. As the super-smart, quirky people often say, the “geek shall inherit the Earth.” Gwen Rockwood is a syndicated freelance columnist. Her book, “Reporting Live from the Laundry Pile,” is available on Amazon and at Nightbird Books. Email her at rockwoodfiles@ cox.net or write to her in care of this magazine.

YOUR FAMILY z dad’s view

Winter’s Drafts Make Them Daft By J. Shane Mercer

The weather in this part of the country is fantastic for the three months of the year when there isn’t snow on the ground. Still, that leaves about eight or nine months when the outdoors is less than inviting and getting kids outside is a challenge. As far as I’ve been able to determine in my decade as a father, children are, in terms of socialization, located somewhere between cave people and feral animals. And you know what happens to animals that are trapped? They lash out, attack, and go mad. But, in contrast to the case of caged animals, we parents are bolted inside with these mad creatures. Granted, the madness is induced by boredom and not fear in our case, but it is madness nonetheless. Even otherwise good-natured children will turn on each other, finding creative and novel means of causing irritation solely for the purpose of gaining some—indeed, any—sort of sensory stimulation. For those who are parents, you don’t need this spelled out. You know. But for non-parents, a hypothetical example could be helpful. One sister—call her Sibling #1—might set a Barbie doll down next to her sister on the couch. Innocent enough. But the doll is crowding Sibling #2 a bit, so she scoots herself over to the right about four inches or so. Sibling #1 notices this cause-and-effect and is intrigued, so she moves the doll toward the recently-relocated Sibling #2 again. And Sibling #2 moves again. “I’m controlling another human. What fun!” thinks Sibling #1. They repeat this scenario until Sibling #2 finds herself on the arm of the couch and screams in frustration, “Da-aaaad! Sibling #1 is scooting her doll over next to me!” Sibling #1 responds with a look of absolute incredulity, as if to say, “What a ridiculous charge my sister has foisted upon me. She must be mad to make a to-do about such trifling matters!” It’s genius, of course, because not only has Sibling #1 broken through the monotony of winter (if only for a brief moment), but she’s done so through an act of such mind-numbing commonness that Sibling #1 can fool herself into believing she is entirely innocent. Furthermore, because the act of placing a doll next to one’s sister is so apparently benign, Sibling #2’s cries appear to be evidence only of her own irrational delusions. How can you, the parent, reprove your child for the simple act of setting her doll down in close proximity to her sister? “Why doesn’t she just move over?” you wonder to yourself. It all makes no sense. So you yell something ambiguous and non-partisan, like, “Everybody, be nice.” (Who, after all, can argue with such timeless, sage advice?) Since her appeal to the parental court has fallen on deaf ears, Sibling #2 retrieves and subsequently places her own Barbie directly next to Sibling #1 with all the subtlety and tact of a senior diplomat. The above scene is then replayed with equal rage and exaggerated confusion, only, this time, with the roles reversed. This pattern continues until a massive feud breaks out. You, the parent, have no idea who started it, or really what it even is, and you can’t just send them outside because it’s 40 below zero. The past 12 years of winter-induced fights have left you half mad yourself and you simply want the small

Illustration by Trygve Olson

war in your living room to end. So you make a ridiculous and utterly unenforceable rule—NO ONE is allowed to place anything in close proximity to any other person in the family. This decree will inevitably lead to endless wrangling over how many inches constitute “close proximity”; painstakingly precise measurements of the distance between the object and the alleged offender’s knee or buttocks prints in the carpet; and investigations into whether the individual or the object was first in the area of dispute, as this determination is central to establishing who actually breached the “Proximity Rule” (as it has come to be known). And that’s when things go negative in the winter. But the “positive” or “happy” side of things is equally trying. There are few sounds in the universe as sweet and melodious as the laughter of children…in summer…outside. But there are few sounds in the universe as irksome as a child’s winter giggles, a phenomenon typically accompanied by their bouncing off walls and furniture like Ping-Pong balls in a wind tunnel, as they emit ear-piercing shrieks of semi-psychotic euphoria. It is a mild form of temporary insanity. Sadly, more than 200 children are hospitalized each year as a result of injuries suffered while engaged in winter giggles. OK, not really. It’s the parents who suffer. J. Shane Mercer is the digital marketing specialist at The Village Family Service Center. He and his wife, Amy, live in Fargo with their three children, Ariana (10), Talia (10), and Will (6). February/March 2015

Stop Fighting!

The

YOUR FAMILY z parenting

February/March 2015

By Sharon Nolfi, M.A., MFT.

Sibling Rivalry M

any parents wonder why their children fight with each other. All of us can be hurt and stressed by the level of nastiness that sometimes passes between brothers and sisters. The good news is that you can reduce sibling rivalry by understanding its causes and addressing the issues it raises. “Sibling rivalry” is the formal term psychologists use to describe the normal squabbles among children in the same family. Every child craves the individual attention of each parent, and each wants to be the child loved most by Mom and Dad. Young children lack the mental maturity to understand that a parent’s love expands with the birth of each additional child so that each child is loved equally. Each of your children views her siblings as rivals for first place in your affections. Many fights that seem to be about particular issues are really about trying to win the exclusive love of one or both parents. It’s common and normal for a child to occasionally wish that his siblings simply didn’t exist. These feelings may be intensified in stepfamilies because children feel they are competing with the stepparent as well as stepsiblings for parental attention. You will never completely eliminate sibling squabbling. Your goals should be lessening its intensity and reducing its frequency. Follow these tips to increase peaceful coexistence in your family: 1. Accept Your Child’s Negative Feelings. Accept that anger, envy, and even temporary hatred are normal and real feelings experienced between siblings. Respond to these outbursts by first acknowledging that you can understand how he could feel as he does, and that you accept it. You can suggest solutions after your child has calmed down. “Pausing for a moment after giving them validation is a good tip to remember before blasting in with solutions,” says Clinical Supervisor Mary Uong Kaale of The Village Family Service Center. “This can often open the door to real problem-solving.”

February/March 2015

2. Give Your Child Alone Time with You. Spend some time completely alone with each child on a regular basis. Plan an activity for just the two of you, or just sit and snuggle. Whatever you do together, give that child your undivided attention and really listen.

his successes and receives praise from other family members. Dinner is the traditional time for family sharing, but if individual schedules prevent this, set aside a regular meeting time when everyone is free, at least weekly. Teach your children to praise each other.

3. Individual Recognition. Be ready with praise for individual achievements. All family members should behave this way. Every child does something well, so celebrate even small accomplishments. “It’s critical to recognize individual talents,” says Sandi Zaleski, program supervisor of Family-Based Services at The Village Family Service Center. “Don’t set one child up as the role model for the others. Embrace each of your children’s strengths.”

5. Special Spaces. Many sibling disputes are “territorial,” as one child disturbs another’s belongings or enters his space. Every child, like every adult, needs a space exclusively his, no matter how small. Everyone should respect the room, corner, or desk set aside for each family member.

4. Family Sharing. Have a designated time each day or week during which each child shares

6. Stop Teasing. Even wellintentioned teasing can quickly turn into emotional abuse. Recognize that children can be deeply hurt by repeated teasing. Some people tease as a way of giving affection, but there are more direct and positive ways to show you care.

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February/March 2015

Child and Spousal Support

701.237.3009

7. Forbid All Types of Physical Aggression. Pushing, hitting, biting and other kinds of physical attacks are abuse and can quickly escalate into actual injury. These behaviors have no place in a healthy family. Restrain yourself and make sure you employ non-physical solutions to disagreements. “It can be very helpful to positively reinforce times when you witness your children handle conflict without physical aggression,” says Uong Kaale. 8. Be a Good Role Model. Treat each family member with respect. Settle disputes with fairness. Your own behavior is the best teacher of all. 9. Help Children Design Solutions. Show your children how to calmly settle differences on their own, keeping their focus on problem behaviors instead of personalities. Help them learn the skills of active listening and mutual compromise. “Clarify each sibling’s concern or perspective about the problem,” says Uong Kaale, “and then have them brainstorm solutions. This is an excellent teaching opportunity, especially for older children and teenagers.” 10. A Unified Front. Mom and Dad should discuss and agree on a consistent approach to sibling disputes. All strategies work better when both parents react to discord in the same way. “Consistency is critical, especially during the teen years,” says Zaleski. “Parents need to recognize how rapidly their teens are growing and changing, and consider how they will handle sibling disputes as their children get older.” You will never eliminate sibling rivalry, but you can reduce its frequency and intensity. This benefits everyone in the family, now and in the future. Siblings will find it easier to forge strong, long-term relationships that can continue into adulthood, and you will enjoy a more peaceful home. Sharon Nolfi, M.A., MFT., is a licensed family counselor, school psychologist, and parent of grown children.

YOUR FAMILY z consumer

Squeezed for Time in the Kitchen? Simple Strategies for Stress-Free Dinners

By Ashley Talmadge With school in full swing after the holidays, my family is busier than ever. Dinner often ends up sandwiched (quite literally) between basketball practice and a PTA meeting. I truly admire the breezy MomChef who whips together a delicious family meal in 30 minutes. But for those of us less adept in the culinary arts, meal preparation is inconvenient at best. On my worst days? It’s send-me-to-the-loonybin stressful. To maintain my sanity, I’ve developed some strategies to ease those schedule-squeezed evenings. Whether you’re a Reluctant Cook like me, or simply a Cook-With-No-Time, these tips will help you spend as little time in the kitchen as possible. Make more, cook less. Recipes for stews, soups, and casseroles can usually be doubled or tripled easily without much extra work on your part. Leftovers taste as good as the original meal. Freeze what remains for quick microwavable

February/March 2015

Cookbooks for the Culinarily Challenged “The I Hate to Cook Book,” by Peg Bracken (1960). For those of us who would rather read than cook, this slim volume is laugh-out-loud hilarious. Yes, the recipes are dated—many call for canned, frozen, and otherwise prepackaged items. Simply substitute fresh ingredients if you prefer. “More-With-Less Cookbook,” by Doris Janzen Longacre (updated edition, 2011). Recipes call for pantry staples and other easy-to-find ingredients; most do not rely on processed and pre-packaged foods. Often a basic cooking method is presented, followed by flavor options. (Basic Cooked Lentils morph into Curried Lentils or Easy Lentil Stew in a jiffy.) “Guerilla Cooking: The Survival Manual for People Who Don’t Like to Cook or Don’t Have Time to Cook,” by Mel Walsh (1996). Call this the modern equivalent of Peg Bracken’s cookbook. Simple recipes dished up with a welcome dose of humor.



Meat and Bulgur Casserole

Ingredients: 1-1½ pounds meat (cubed or ground) 1 medium onion, chopped 2 medium zucchinis, quartered and sliced 2 16-oz. cans diced tomatoes, undrained 1 cup dry wheat bulgur 1-1½ cups shredded cheese Simple herbs and spices (salt, pepper, basil, oregano, etc.) to taste

In a skillet, cook the meat with the onion. Drain. Combine all ingredients in a medium casserole dish. Bake covered at 375 degrees for about an hour. Serves 6-8. Talk about a recipe with flex! Grab whatever meat you’ve got (even tofu works). Carrots or broccoli can easily stand in for zucchini. Try orzo or a quick-cooking grain as a substitute for the bulgur. Good add-ins include kale, spinach, kidney beans, or white beans. Add a tablespoon of chili powder for a little zing.

Beer Bread

Combine 3 cups self-rising flour, 2 tbsps. sugar, and one 12-oz. can of cheap beer. Mix well. Spread into a greased loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for about an hour. Bread should be crusty outside, soft inside. (Makes a tasty addition to the casserole.) 18

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meals in the future. (Or if your family is as tolerant as mine, eat the same thing for three days straight.) Choose recipes with flex. We admire the Jill-of-all-trades babysitter who can take a message from the plumber while quieting a tantrumming toddler and helping the fourth grader with her paper mache project. Look for the same I-canhandle-anything attitude in your recipes. Flexible dishes that say, “No problem!” to a variety of meat, vegetable, and seasoning options are sure to be crowdpleasers. Play it again, Mom. Knowing a recipe inside and out cuts cooking time. When you find a recipe you like, make it several times in quick succession. Freeze or give away the surplus as necessary. Often, you’ll quickly figure out how to add, subtract, and substitute ingredients, so the same recipe can take on many different auras. Chop it forward. Many veggies can be prepared in advance and used as you need them throughout the week. Think carrots, celery, onions, green pepper, even cheese can be grated ahead of time. Burger can be browned and frozen for later use, too. Spend 30 to 40 minutes slicing, dicing, and grating quantities at the beginning of the week, and save prep time later.

Know your grocer’s freezer. My closest grocery carries a fantastic store brand frozen lasagna. The party size serves 10. It’s better tasting than the lasagna I used to make, and when it goes on sale it’s about half what I’d pay for the ingredients for homemade. Stock up on values like these, and you’ll have at least one no-fuss meal every week. All it’s crocked up to be. Remember the crock pot you got as a wedding gift? Start using it. Most crock pots come with a mini cookbook illustrating the basics of slow cooking. Yes, you really can spend 10 minutes throwing things into the pot in the morning and come home to a hot dinner eight to 10 hours later. Breakfast and lunch after dark. Eggs and toast, grilled cheese and soup—just some of the quick and yummy dinner options in our household. And younger kids love the idea of Opposite Day (as in, “Really? We get to eat pancakes with whipped cream and syrup for dinner?!”). Add some zip and zing. Pipe in some peppy music to accompany the chopping and mixing chores—a little zydeco or swing, perhaps. Adopting a more carefree spirit will make the task seem less like drudgery. And a glass of wine doesn’t hurt either. Ashley Talmadge is a Portland-based freelance writer.

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YOUR FAMILY z parenting

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Toddlers and Fear

It’s normal for your toddler to be fearful. After all, anxiety is a natural condition that helps us cope with new experiences and protects us from danger. Some toddlers are frightened of very specific things: bugs, dogs, the dark, or loud noises, like the vacuum cleaner. Others are afraid of new situations or meeting new people. Most of your toddler’s fears will fade as she becomes more secure in herself and her environment.

What You Can Do to Ease Your Toddler’s Fears

The following strategies may help, but don’t expect your toddler to overcome her fears right away. It can take months— even up to a year—before a child gets over a fear. In the meantime, it’s normal for your toddler to obsess over the thing 20

February/March 2015

that frightens her by showing fascination with it, modeling it in play, drawing pictures of it, or talking about it incessantly. It’s her way of working through the issue. Don’t make light of her fears. They may seem silly and irrational, but they’re very real and serious to her. Try not to smile or be dismissive when she reacts with fright to, say, a flushing toilet or a siren. Let her know you understand how it feels to be afraid of something. If you’re reassuring and comforting, she’ll learn that it’s okay to feel afraid and it’s best to deal with her fears. Trying to convince your toddler that there isn’t any reason to be afraid will only backfire. You’ll probably just make her more upset if you say, “Don’t worry; there’s no reason to be afraid of the dog.” Instead, offer security and reassurance: “I understand that the dog frightens you. Let’s walk past him together. If you don’t want to do that, I’ll hold you while he walks past us.” Use a “lovey.” A so-called comfort object—a raggedy baby blanket, perhaps, or a well-worn teddy bear—can help

some children with their fears. An object like this can offer an anxious child familiarity and reassurance, especially at times when you need to leave her, such as when you drop her off at daycare or tuck her in for the night. A lovey can also make it easier for a child to do potentially scary things like meet new people, attend a play group, or visit the doctor. So allow your toddler to hold on to her special toy or blanket. She’s likely to stop carrying around that mangylooking monkey by the time she turns 4. By then, she’ll have learned other ways to soothe herself when she’s frightened. Explain, expose, and explore. A scared toddler can sometimes get over a fright if you provide a simple, rational explanation for what’s worrying her. You may put an end to her fear of being sucked down the drain along with the bathwater by saying, “Water and bubbles can go down the drain, but rubber duckies and children can’t.” Or explain that an ambulance has to make a really loud noise so that other cars know to get out of the way. For some toddlers, a demonstration can be reassuring. Your child may be relieved to see that while a vacuum cleaner can suck up crumbs, sand, and dirt, it can’t inhale her toy train or

Daddy’s toes. A walk at dusk can help make nighttime seem more magical than scary. Or if your toddler’s trembling at the thought of getting a haircut, let the hairdresser snip a strand or two of your own hair to show that it doesn’t hurt. If past experiences are fueling your child’s fears—previous vaccinations, for instance, making her panicky about a trip to the doctor’s office—don’t sugarcoat things. But don’t dwell on the bad stuff, either. Gently tell her that while the shot may sting at first, it’ll be over quickly, and that the two of you will do something fun afterward. The promise of a reward can help to distract her from the scary event. You can help your child learn about frightening things from a safe distance, too. She may get over her fear of Halloween characters if she sees a picture book or video about good witches, kind ghosts, and friendly black cats. If she’s scared of animals, a trip to a petting zoo, where the creatures can be stroked and fed, may help. Another way to reassure your toddler is to tell her an uplifting story about another child who does what he’s afraid to do and survives the experience unscathed. Make up something off the top of your head, or browse the library for books on the subject. Problem-solve together. If your toddler’s afraid of the dark, get a nightlight for her room. Other tactics you can use to banish bedtime fears include a designated guard (a beloved stuffed animal), “monster spray” (water in a spray bottle), or a magic phrase that wards off unwelcome visitors. Continued on page 23 February/March 2015

We asked local psychologist Dr. Renae Reinardy to elaborate on the suggestion in the article to help your child overcome fear through pretend play, or role-playing, and also to discuss the usefulness of comfort objects.

What is the value of role-playing?

Child-led role-play allows children to be active participants in learning valuable life skills in a safe and fun environment. Through role-play, children can use their powerful imagination to develop empathy by putting themselves into another role. This type of play also boosts development in problem-solving, language, and emotional expression. Role-play can also allow children to feel empowered in situations that may cause fear or feelings of being out of control. While adults should not lead role-plays, they can provide children with an environment that encourages this important type of development.

How do comfort objects help?

Comfort objects are often part of a childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s emotional support system and can feel similar to a motherchild bond. The toys or blankets that serve this role are called transitional objects because they help the child transition from dependence on others to independence in being able to regulate their emotions. This is an important stage in childhood development. These objects provide comfort and reassurance when a child feels frightened, tired, upset, or uncertain about a new situation. A comfort object allows children to feel safe and gives them extra support to experience new situations and confront fears. This helps children learn coping skills which will eventually allow them to grow more independent of the object. Tip: You may want to consider having a back-up identical object that you can rotate or use as a replacement if the object is lost. Dr. Renae M. Reinardy is the creator of Courage Critters, www.couragecritters.com, and practices at Lakeside Center for Behavioral Change in Fargo.

February/March 2015

Childhood fears change as certainly as children themselves grow and change. Here is a list of some common childhood fears by age. Through trial and error, you and your toddler will figure out together what helps to increase her sense of power and control over things that frighten her. Practice through pretend play. If your child is terrified of the doctor, she may benefit from role-playing what happens at the doctor’s office (a toy doctor’s kit can help). Some toddlers feel more confident when they actually visit the doctor if they come with their kit in tow. If your toddler shrinks at the sight of strangers, she may feel less frightened if she acts out such encounters using dolls or stuffed animals. If people in costumes scare her, dress up together to help ease her fears. Don’t share your own fears. If your toddler sees you break out in a sweat because there’s a spider in the bedroom or cringe when you walk into the dentist’s office, then she’s likely to feel scared of these things, too. So try to work through your own anxieties or at least try to downplay them. It’s okay, however, to confess that you didn’t like going to the dentist as a kid, but you went to keep your teeth healthy. It helps a child to know she’s not alone and that you, too, learned to overcome something scary. Seek advice. Talk to other parents about your toddler’s particular fears and how to handle them.

What to Watch Out For

If your toddler’s fears routinely interfere with her normal daily activities—if she won’t wash her hair because she’s afraid of water, or she resists going outside for fear of encountering a dog—talk to her doctor about the problem, especially if her fears have intensified over time. She may have a genuine phobia (an intense and persistent irrational fear) or an anxiety disorder. It’s also a good idea to seek a doctor’s advice if your toddler reacts to a fear so severely that she simply can’t be calmed. Copyright © BabyCenter LLC (Used with permission) www.babycenter.com

Infants and Toddlers: • Loud sounds • Sudden, unexpected movements • Separation from family/parents • Large objects • Strangers • Bathroom drains or toilets

Preschoolers:

• Sleeping alone • Imaginary figures • The dark • Noises at night • Thunder • Masks/Halloween costumes • Ghosts, monsters and supernatural beings • Animals—especially dogs

School-aged Children:

• Spiders and snakes • Getting lost • Losing a parent • Thunderstorms, floods, earthquakes, and natural disasters • Being home alone • Fear of making adults angry • Scary news or TV shows • Illness, doctors, immunizations • School performance • Wild animals • Bodily injury or death

courage critters

Empower, Support, Protect & LOVE

Courage Critters is a program to help children stand up to common fears and unwanted behaviors. The Courage Club offers skills every child should know for a healthy body and mind. Help the child in your life by giving them a Critter today! Created by nationally recognized expert and local psychologist, Dr. Renae Reinardy.

Learn more and visit our website to order!

www.CourageCritters.com www.LakesideCenter.org

February/March 2015

Calendar of Events

To include your event in our family-friendly calendar, email shendricksen@TheVillageFamily.org. Deadline for the April/May calendar is February 25, 2015. Although we strive to be as accurate as possible, please call ahead to verify information, registration requirements, or event fees. Due to limited space, we are unable to include all submissions.

2.6 Friday • American Heart Association National Wear Red Day. www.goredforwomen.org/wearredday • Cupid’s Dance Party Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Fargo Force vs. Sioux City Musketeers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com

2.12 CCRI’s Annual Polar Plunge

FEBRUARY 2015 EVENTS 2.1 Sunday • Bowl for Kids’ Sake 2015 Registration Opens. Grab your friends and create a bowling team to raise funds for Big Brothers Big Sisters of The Village Family Service Center. Bowling dates are Feb. 28, 3:30 p.m.; Mar. 6 & 13, 3:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m.; West Acres Bowl, 3402 Interstate Blvd. S., Fargo, 701-451-4875 or www.bbbsfargo.org (click on Bowl for Kids’ Sake logo) • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • Masterworks Concert III: All-Beethoven. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org 2.3 Tuesday • “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.” 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 2.4 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

February/March 2015

2.7 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. View animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. S., Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org • Kid Quest. 1-4 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org (See ad pg. 25) • Destination Anchor Island. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Saturday Fun Night. Ages 5-12. Register at 701-293-9622 or www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo • Candlelight Ski & Snowshoe. All ages and abilities welcome. Call 218-498-2124 for info on equipment rental and ski passes. 6-9 p.m., Buffalo River State Park, Glyndon, Minn. • Teen Pool Party. 6:30-9 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • “A Singing Valentine.” FM Chamber Chorale gala with dinner, wine, auction items, performance of love songs from the stage and screen. Dinner at 7 p.m., concert at 8 p.m., Ramada Plaza & Suites, 1635 43rd St. S., Fargo, www.fmchamberchorale.org 2.8 Sunday • Future of Rock 2015. Presented by Elevate Rock School. Young students perform in a band setting. 12:30-6 p.m., Millennium Ballroom, 2525 9th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-5150 or www.ElevateRockSchool.com • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • “Made in America.” The FM Area Youth Symphonies present the Senior Symphony Orchestra in concert with special guests The All City High School Chorus. 4 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-388-4536 • The Concordia Band Home Concert. 4 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 2.9 Monday • Beethovenfest Concert. Noon-1 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org

2.10 Tuesday • Beethovenfest Concert. Noon-1 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org 2.11 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www. bn.com • Beethovenfest Concert. Noon-1 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org 2.12 Thursday • Giving Hearts Day. Support Nokomis Child Care Centers by visiting www.impactgiveback.org and making a donation. Dakota Medical Foundation will match all online gifts of $10 or more up to $4,000 for each charity. • Fargo Public Schools Kindergarten Registration. 7:30 a.m.-6 p.m. Register

2.14, 2.15, 2.28, 3.14 & 3.28 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs at the school your child will attend. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015. Call 701-446-1000 or visit www.fargo. k12.nd.us for more info (See ad pg. 29) • Giving Hearts Day Concert. Noon-1 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org

• CCRI’s Annual Polar Plunge. Individuals must raise a minimum of $75 to participate. Funds raised are used to impact the lives of people with disabilities in our community. 3-6 p.m., Mick’s Office, 10 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-331-2036 or www.CreativeCare.org

February/March 2015

2.13 Friday • Fargo Public Schools Kindergarten Registration. 7:30 a.m.4 p.m. Register at the school your child will attend. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015. Call 701-446-1000 or visit www.fargo.k12.nd.us for more info (See ad pg. 29) • Fargo Force vs. Green Bay Gamblers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • “Beauty & The Beast.” Presented by Sheyenne & West Fargo High School Theatres. 7:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-1971 or www.westfargotheatre.com 2.14 Saturday • Hearts & Smiles. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • Fargo Force vs. Green Bay Gamblers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com

t r u r P o a g n i Do

Clay County in WWII Feb. 11, 2014 - Dec. 31, 2015

Historical and Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave., Moorhead www.hcscconline.org 218-299-5511 26

February/March 2015

• “ Beauty & The Beast.” Presented by Sheyenne & West Fargo High School Theatres. 7:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-1971 or www.westfargotheatre.com 2.15 Sunday •4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org •O pen Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • “Beauty & The Beast.” Presented by Sheyenne & West Fargo High School Theatres. 2:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-1971 or www.westfargotheatre.com • Admissions Scholarship Concert. 7 p.m., Buxton/Hanson Hall and Centrum, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 2.16 Monday •F argo Public Schools Kindergarten Registration. 7:30 a.m.6 p.m. Register at the school your child will attend. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015. Call 701-446-1000 or visit www.fargo.k12.nd.us for more info (See ad pg. 29) 2.17 Tuesday •F argo Public Schools Kindergarten Registration. 7:30 a.m.6 p.m. Register at the school your child will attend. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015. Call 701-446-1000 or visit www.fargo.k12.nd.us for more info (See ad pg. 29) •S ymphonic Band Concert. 7:30 p.m., Centrum, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 2.18 Wednesday • Fargo Public Schools Kindergarten Registration. 7:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Register at the school your child will attend. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015. Call 701-446-1000 or visit www.fargo.k12.nd.us for more info (See ad pg. 29) • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • “So You Think You Can Dance” Tour. Call or visit website for ticket info. 7:30 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.scheelsarena.com/events 2.19 Thursday • 2015 State Wrestling Tournament. Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Fargo Public Schools Kindergarten Registration. 7:30 a.m.4 p.m. Register at the school your child will attend. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015. Call 701-446-1000 or visit www.fargo.k12.nd.us for more info (See ad pg. 29) 2.20 Friday • 2015 State Wrestling Tournament. Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Unglued Craft Gala. Ticket required. 5-9 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.ungluedmarket.com/fest •F ootball/Cheerleader Party Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com

• Fargo Force vs. Sioux Falls Stampede. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • “Beauty & The Beast.” Presented by Sheyenne & West Fargo High School Theatres. 7:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-1971 or www.westfargotheatre.com 2.21 Saturday • 2015 State Wrestling Tournament. Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Sugar Valley Toy Show. Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, Bob Johnson at 701-282-6410 • Unglued Craft Gala. Handmade items by artists and crafters, workshops for kids and adults. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.ungluedmarket.com/fest

2.23 “Memphis” at the Fargodome

• Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701281-1002 or www.bn.com • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. View animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. S., Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org

Upcoming FEBRUARY 1 • 8 • 14-15 • 21-22 • 28 MARCH 1 • 8 • 14-15

• Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad below)

OPEN GYM & OPEN SWIM

Saturdays & Sundays. For children grades K-5. Free play for youth during a supervised time period.

FEBRUARY 1 • 7-8 • 14-15 • 21-22 • 28 MARCH 1 • 7-8 • 14-15 • 21-22 • 28-29

Visit fargoparks.com for locations and times.

Open Swim: Saturdays & Sundays. Fargo South High School Indoor Pool Youth (18 & under) $2.25 • Adults (19 & older) $3.55 Family $7.10

For More Information: 701.499.6060 • fargoparks.com

February/March 2015

2.21 Saturday (cont.) • 18th Annual Celebration of Women & Their Music. Event showcasing some of the area’s most talented female musicians. Tickets at www.tickets300.com/celebration-ofwomen.fargo/ or at the door. 6 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, www.debjenkins.com/ celebrationofwomen.html • “Beauty & The Beast.” Presented by Sheyenne & West Fargo High School Theatres. 7:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-1971 or www.westfargotheatre.com 2.22 Sunday • Sugar Valley Toy Show. Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, Bob Johnson at 701-282-6410 • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27)

Not just another drop-in…

it’s a Club for Kids!

• Hourly drop-in care • Full-time care • Evening & weekend care • Ages 3 months to 12 years Kids can do art, large motor activities, iPad educational games, bouncy house, and more!

ComE PlAy witH us!

1650 45th street south, Fargo 701.478.9229

/ClubKidsFargo 28

February/March 2015

• “Beauty & The Beast.” Presented by Sheyenne & West Fargo High School Theatres. 2:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-1971 or www.westfargotheatre.com 2.23 Monday • “Memphis.” 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 2.25 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 2.26 Thursday • “Seussical The Musical.” Presented by Horizon Middle School Theatre. 7 p.m., Moorhead High School, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2255 or www.moorheadschools.org 2.27 Friday • Red River Valley Home & Garden Show. 3-9 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com

• “Seussical The Musical.” Presented by Horizon Middle School Theatre. 7 p.m., Moorhead High School, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2255 or www.moorheadschools.org • Ladysmith Black Mambazo Concert. Tickets at www.JadePresents.com, Tickets300 box office, or 866-300-8300. 8 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-239-8385 or www.fargotheatre.org 2.28 Saturday • Red River Valley Home & Garden Show. 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Crazy Hair Day. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org

• Youth Ice Fishing Derby. Ages 15 and under. Bring your ice fishing rod. 12:30-2:30 p.m., South Woodhaven Pond, 1802 Woodhaven Dr. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • “Seussical The Musical.” Presented by Horizon Middle School Theatre. 7 p.m., Moorhead High School, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2255 or www.moorheadschools.org

MARCH 2015 EVENTS 3.1 Sunday • Annual North Dakota Picnic. 10 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Red Mountain Park, 7745 E. Brown Rd., Mesa, Ariz., 701-451-4957 • Red River Valley Home & Garden Show. 11 a.m.-5 p.m., p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • “Seussical The Musical.” Presented by Horizon Middle School Theatre. 2 p.m., Moorhead High School, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2255 or www.moorheadschools.org

3.7 Saturday • Central ND Rabbit Breeders Show. 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, Christina Swartout at 701-833-1653 • Red River Valley Sportsmen’s Show. 10 a.m.-9 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. View animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. S., Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org • Kid Quest. 1-4 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org (See ad pg. 25) • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • Saturday Fun Night. Ages 5-12. Register at 701-293-9622 or www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo • Jazz Ensemble Concert. 8 p.m., Anderson Commons, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 3.8 Sunday • Red River Valley Sportsmen’s Show. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27)

3.4 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 3.5 Thursday • Red River Valley Sportsmen’s Show. 5-9 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Fargo Force vs. Tri-City Storm. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • MSUM Performing Arts Series: The Pedrito Martinez Group. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/tickets 3.6 Friday • Red River Valley Sportsmen’s Show. Noon-9 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Treasure Hunters Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Fargo Force vs. Tri-City Storm. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • MSUM Wind Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Glasrud Auditorium, Weld Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/tickets

Kindergarten Registration February 12, 16, 17 – 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. February 13, 18, 19 – 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Register at the school your child will attend. If you do not know which school your child will attend, please call 446-1043. If your child will attend Ed Clapp, please register at any of the following schools: Kennedy at Eagles, Lincoln, Lewis & Clark, Centennial or Kennedy Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015.

Please be sure to bring: • Your child’s certified birth certificate. • Your child’s current immunization record. • A copy of a document that includes the child’s parent/guardian name and address (e.g., utility bill or bank statement).

701.446.1000

www.fargo.k12.nd.us

February/March 2015

3.20, 3.21 & 3.22 Bouncin’ Bash & More 3.9 Monday • The Concordia Choir Home Concert. 4 p.m., Trinity Lutheran Church, 210 7th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4515 3.11 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 3.13 Friday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Fargo Force vs. Team USA. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com

Letting Our Little Lights Shine! Open House January 29th 5:30-7:00 pm Christian Preschool

3-Year-Old Classes Tuesday and Thursday mornings 4 and 5-Year-Old Classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings Five-day Pre-K Class Monday through Friday afternoons

Triumph Lutheran Brethren Church 2901 20th Street S Moorhead, MN 56560 218.233.4048 www.littlelightspreschool.com little.lights@triumphlbc.org

February/March 2015

3.14 Saturday •C eltic Festival. Celtic food, entertainment, activity booths, presentations. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 33) •L eaping Leprechauns. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) •F argo Ice Revue. 7 p.m., Coliseum, 801 17th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com •F argo Force vs. Team USA. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com •S tudent Showcase Concert. 7:30 p.m., Centrum, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 3.15 Sunday •S chool Spirit: Celebrating Youth Art Month Artists’ Reception. Open to the public. Art projects, performances by FM Area Youth Symphonies. 1-3:30 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org •O pen Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) •F argo Ice Revue. 2 p.m., Coliseum, 801 17th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com •T hree Choirs Concert. 4 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 3.18 Wednesday •C hildren’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 3.20 Friday •B ouncin’ Bash & More. Inflatable family fun open to all ages. Children 12 and under must attend with an adult. 4-8 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org com •M oorhead Ice Show. 7 p.m., Moorhead Sports Center, 324 S. 24th St., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 •F argo Force vs. Omaha Lancers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com •P RCA Championship Rodeo. 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 3.21 Saturday • Bouncin’ Bash & More. Inflatable family fun open to all ages. Children 12 and under must attend with an adult. 10 a.m.7 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

• Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. View animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. S., Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • Moorhead Ice Show. 7 p.m., Moorhead Sports Center, 324 S. 24th St., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 com • Fargo Force vs. Omaha Lancers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • PRCA Championship Rodeo. 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Masterworks Concert IV: Passion & Beauty. 7:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org 3.22 Sunday • Teddy Bear Tea Party. Pre-registration required. 10-11 a.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Bouncin’ Bash & More. Inflatable family fun open to all ages. Children 12 and under must attend with an adult. 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Moorhead Ice Show. 1 p.m., Moorhead Sports Center, 324 S. 24th St., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 • Cosmic Bowling. Pre-registration required. 1-3 p.m., West Acres Bowl, 3402 Interstate Blvd. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) • Masterworks Concert IV: Passion & Beauty. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org • Chapel Choir Home Concert. 4 p.m., Centrum, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 3.24 Tuesday • American Diabetes Association Alert Day. Take the Diabetes Risk Test at www.diabetes.org/risktest and find out if you are at risk for developing type 2 diabetes. 3.25 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 3.27 Friday • Board Games Alive! Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com 3.28 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

3.20, 3.21 & 3.22 Moorhead Ice Show • Easter Egg Hunt. Games, crafts, egg hunts, photos with the Easter Bunny. 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall, 510 Center Ave., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27)

Pride in our PurPose Early Childhood Family Education A Community Education Program of Moorhead Area Public Schools

Strengthening Families & Supporting Parents

Call or go online for a list of our classes 218-284-3400

https://communityed.moorheadschools.org February/March 2015

2.24 Fargo Main Library Great Chemistry for Teens

3.29 Sunday • Open Swim. 1-5 p.m., Fargo South Indoor Pool, 1850 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 27) 3.31 Tuesday • MSUM Commercial Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/tickets

PUBLIC LIBRARIES

Call or visit the library for details. Pre-registration may be required. Fargo Public Main Library 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1472 or www.fargolibrary.org • Winter Read-A-Thon. Ends Feb. 28 • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Registration required. Call for details • Chess Club. Open to players of all levels. Thursdays, 5:30-8:30 p.m. • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies (birth-18 mos). Feb. 5 & 19, Mar. 5 & 19, 6:30 p.m. • Reading the World Book Club. Feb. 5 & Mar. 5, 7 p.m. • Crafty Teens. Registration required. Feb. 10, Mar. 10 & 24, 4 p.m.

February/March 2015

• Darwin Day Event. Disease and evolution talk presented by Dr. Nathan Fisher. Feb. 10, 7 p.m. • Little Squirt Science. For preschoolers. Registration required. Feb. 12 & Mar. 12, 6:30 p.m.; Feb. 13 & Mar. 13, 11 a.m. • Geronimo Stilton’s Valentine Extravaganza. Feb. 14, 10 a.m. • PAWS for Reading. Emerging readers can sign up to read to a therapy pet. Registration required. Feb. 14 & Mar. 14, 1-3 p.m. •G reat Chemistry for Teens. Registration required. Feb. 24, 6:30 p.m. •B uild a Brushbot. Grades 3-6. Registration required. Feb. 26, 4 p.m. • Storytime Superstars Story & Craft. Feb. 27 & Mar. 27, 11 a.m. • DIY Kids’ Craft Club. Grades 3-6. Registration required. Feb. 28 & Mar. 28, 10 a.m. •L egos at the Library. For kids under 12. Feb. 28 & Mar. 28, 2-4 p.m. •D r. Seuss Event for Kids. Crafts, games, snacks. Registration required. Mar. 7, 10 a.m. • Baby Fair. Demonstrations, crafts, activities for parents of infants/toddlers and expectant parents. Mar. 21, 10 a.m.-noon • “Investing for All Ages” Events. Call for details Dr. James Carlson Library 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-476-4040 or www.fargolibrary.org • Winter Read-A-Thon. Ends Feb. 28 • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Registration required. Call for details • Tea Time Book Club. Feb. 1 & Mar. 1, 2 p.m. • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies (birth-18 mos). Feb. 5 & 19, Mar. 5 & 19, 10 a.m. • Unraveled Crafters Club. Feb. 8 & 22, Mar. 8 & 22, 1 p.m. • Valentine Craft. Ages preschool-8 yrs. Feb. 9, 4 p.m. • Little Squirt Science. For preschoolers. Registration required. Feb. 12 & Mar. 12, 11 a.m. • Crafty Teens. Registration required. Feb. 12, Mar. 12 & 26, 4 p.m. • Free Friday Movie. Feb. 13 & Mar. 13, 1 p.m.

• Crafts for Teens & Adults. Registration required. Feb. 21, 2 p.m. • Storytime Superstars Story & Craft. Feb. 26 & Mar. 26, 11 a.m. • Out of this World Alien Story & Craft. Ages 3-8. Registration required. Mar. 23, 4 p.m. Northport Branch 2714 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-476-4026 or www.fargolibrary.org • Winter Read-A-Thon. Ends Feb. 28 • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Registration required. Call for details • Valentine Craft. Ages preschool-8 yrs. Feb. 10, 4 p.m. • Northport Classics Book Club. Feb. 18 & Mar. 18, 6:30 p.m. • Crafts for Teens & Adults. Registration required. Feb. 19, 6:30 p.m. • Out of this World Alien Story & Craft. Ages 3-8. Registration required. Mar. 24, 4 p.m. West Fargo Public Library 109 3rd St. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5460 or www.westfargolibrary.org • Children’s Simply Stories. Tuesdays, 10:15 a.m. • Children’s Storytime & Craft. For preschoolers and their caretakers. Tuesdays, 1:30-2 p.m. • Friday Morning Movies. Fridays, 10:30 a.m. • Fun with Food. For preschoolers and their caretakers. Feb. 2 & Mar. 2, 10:15 a.m. • Valentine’s Day Cards Workshop. For teens and adults. Registration required. Feb. 7, 10 a.m. • Teacups Book Club. Feb. 9 & Mar. 9, 7 p.m. • New Release Movies. Feb. 14 & 28, Mar. 7 & 21, 2 p.m. • Lego Mania. Open to all ages. Feb. 16, 2:30-4:30 p.m. • For the Love of Pie. Pie-making demonstration and hands-on class. Bring an apron and rolling pin. Registration required. Feb. 19, 6 p.m. • Saturday Science. For grades K-5 and their caretakers. Registration required. Mar. 14 • Pine Needle Basket Class. Registration and supply fee required. Mar. 14, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. • St. Patrick’s Day Party. Open to all ages. Mar. 17, 6:30 p.m. • Read to a Therapy Dog. Registration required. Call to sign up • Edward Jones Financial Workshops. Call 701-277-3194 to register Moorhead Public Library 118 5th St. S., Moorhead, 218-233-7594 or www.larl.org • Open Computer Practice. Mondays, 2 p.m. • Storytime Plus. Stories, songs, poems, craft. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. • Storytime. For children of all ages. Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. • Baby Bounce. For infants-preschoolers and their caregivers. Thursdays, 10:15 a.m. • Peace Corps Series. Feb. 2, 9 & 23, 7 p.m. • Origami Club. All ages and abilities welcome. Feb. 2 & Mar. 2, 6:30 p.m. • Take Your Child to the Library Day. Feb. 7

• Lego Club. All ages and abilities welcome. Feb. 12 & Mar. 12, 6-8 p.m.; Feb. 28 & Mar. 28, 2-4 p.m. • Adult Book Club. Feb. 19 & Mar. 19, 6:30 p.m. • Oscar Party. Feb. 21, film at 1 p.m., film trivia at 3:30 p.m., games and crafts from 3:30-5 p.m. • Yarn Circle. Open to all ages and experience levels. Bring your knitting, crocheting, or needlework projects. Feb. 26 & Mar. 26, 7 p.m. • Jill Kandel Book Signing. Mar. 5, 7 p.m. • Beginning Genealogy Workshop. Mar. 11, 7 p.m. • Brain Awareness Week Activity with Concordia Psychology Club. Mar. 17, 6:30 p.m. • 4-H Presents: Beyond Bracelets – Rubberband Loom Art. Mar. 21, 10:30 a.m. • Movie Matinee. Mar. 21, 2 p.m. • Maud Hart Lovelace Voting Gala. Mar. 23, 6 p.m. • “Are You Insane?!” with Bruce Flaig, Nature Photographer. Mar. 30, 7 p.m. • Computer & eReader Classes. Call for details

Saturday March 14 10a.m. - 4p.m. BRITTANY • CORNWALL ISLE OF MAN • GALICIA IRELAND • SCOTLAND • WALES

Hjemkomst Center 202 1ST AVE N • MOORHEAD

Free Admission 2 ENTERTAINMENT STAGES HERITAGE PRESENTATIONS ARTS & CRAFTS CELTIC FOODS & TREATS INTERACTIVE BOOTHS & SHOPPING

701.499.7788 fargoparks.com

Parks and Recr

Support for this project is provided by the cities of Fargo, Moorhead and West Fargo through The Arts Partnership

February/March 2015

CLASSES

Call for information. Pre-registration may be required. Creatively Uncorked www.creativelyuncorked.com • Creatively Kids Painting Event Doulas of the Red River Valley www.doulasrrv.org • The Birth Circle Early Childhood Family Education Classes for infants to kindergarten entry. Probstfield Center for Education, 2410 14th St. S., Moorhead, 218-284-3400 or https:// communityed.moorheadschools.org • Art with Heart • Big & Messy Art • Down on the Farm • Family Date Night • Family Fun • Family Fun with Little Ones • Gym Fun • Ones & Twos • Marvelous Math • Nursery Rhyme Time in Sign • Ones & Twos • Weird, Wild, Wacky Art

Essentia Health OB Education 3000 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-8100 or www.essentiahealth.org • Basic Training for New Dads • Breastfeeding Class • Car Seat Safety • Lamaze • Tender Transitions FM Ambulance 701-364-1750 or www.fmambulance.com/education • CPR/AED Fraser, Ltd. 2902 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org • CPR/First Aid Little Lambs Christian Preschool sotvlambs@ideaone.net or www.sotvlittlelambs.org • Fall 2015 enrollment begins in Feb. Music-n-Play www.music-n-play.com • Parent & Child Music Classes. Ages 0-5 yrs. Parenting Resource Center 701-241-5700 or www.ag.ndsu.edu/casscountyextension/homeand-family • Lunch & Learn for Parents • Parents Forever Red River Zoo 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Pint-Size Explorers

The mission of Saint John Paul II Catholic Schools is to inspire exceptional student achievement by teaching the total person and fostering the following of Christ in an environment guided by the Gospel Spirit, as taught by the Catholic Church.

Currently accepting applications for Little Deacons (age 3) - Grade 12

FOR MORE INFORMATION OR PERSONAL TOUR Lori Hager, Admissions Director 701.893.3271 Lori.Hager@jp2schools.org

HOLY SPIRIT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL NATIVITY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TRINITY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SULLIVAN MIDDLE SCHOOL

jp2schools.org 34

February/March 2015

SHANLEY HIGH SCHOOL

Sanford Health Community Education 701-234-5570, 877-234-4240 or www.sanfordhealth.org • Baby’s First Ride • Better Choices, Better Health • Breastfeeding Beginnings • Caring for Your Newborn • C.A.R.S. (Children & Restraint Systems) • Family & Friends CPR • Honor Your Health • Infant Massage • Labor: What to Expect • Lamaze • Our Family is Having a Baby • Safe & Sound – Preparing Your Home for Baby The Village Family Service Center 701-451-4900 or www.TheVillageFamily.org • Adoption • Depression & Psychotherapy Group • Happiness is a Verb • Relationships 101 The Village Financial Resource Center 701-235-3328 or www.HelpWithMoney.org • Homebuyer Education • Tenant Education

MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS Call for additional information.

Concordia College Cyrus M. Running Gallery 901 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4623 • Annual Concordia Faculty Art Exhibition. Ends Feb. 15 • Annual Juried Student Art Exhibition. Mar. 12-29 Fargo Air Museum 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www.fargoairmuseum.org Historical & Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www.hcscconline.org • Winter Memories: Having Fun and Keeping Warm. Ends Mar. 9 • A Woman’s Perspective on Square. Feb. 1-Mar. 30 • Coming of Age: The 1968 Generation. Begins Mar. 18 • Doing Our Part: Clay County in WWII (See ad pg. 26) MSUM Planetarium Bridges Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2920 or www.mnstate.edu/ planetarium • Cosmic Colors: An Adventure along the Spectrum. Ends Feb. 23 • One World One Sky: Big Bird’s Adventure. Ends Feb. 23 • LaserFest 2015. Feb. 26-Mar. 8 Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org • In Crypt: On New Worlds Re-Ordered, An Installation by Stephen Alexander Wischer. Ends Feb. 22 • School Spirit: Celebrating Youth Art Month. Mar. 1-31 • Lauren Rose Kinney: Much of a Muchness. Begins Mar. 6 • Todd Hebert: Selected Works 19992014. Ends Mar. 22 • VIVID: The Art of Seth Chwast and Dietrich Sieling • Bakken Boom! Artists Respond to the North Dakota Oil Rush

er yone v E m o r F illage V e h T t a agazine M y l i m Fa

Indoor Birthday Party Place!

Includes: • Bounce N Slide • 16’ Slide • Western Shoot Out • Giant Birthday Chair • Big Screen TV 15 Children Allowed Adults Welcome

Games Galore Provides the Following: • Professional Attendent • Plates, Cups, Napkins, Utensils • Tables/Chairs • Fridge/Freezer • Pizza Ovens

The Rourke Art Museum 521 Main Ave., Moorhead, 218-236-8861 or www.therourke.org • Concordia Faculty Show. Begins Feb. 6 • Transformations: The Art of the Mask

February/March 2015

YOUR FAMILY z money

Reth Receivi ink ng a T

Refu ax nd

The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) online poll last February revealed that a strong majority of respondents intentionally plan to receive a federal income tax refund. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The findings suggest that receiving an income tax refund has become standard operating procedure for some people, as 2014 is the second year in a row that the majority of NFCC poll respondents confirmed their preference toward the onceper-year windfall,â&#x20AC;? says Gail Cunningham, spokesperson for the NFCC. 36

February/March 2015

People may argue that overpaying Uncle Sam each pay period is the only way they can save, as their withholding has become a method of forced savings. However, that reasoning pales when stacked against the many benefits of having an accurate amount withheld from their check each pay period. Financial professionals at The Village Financial Resource Center encourage taxpayers to consider the following reasons to stop receiving a federal income tax refund:

1. Overpaying any financial obligation rarely makes sense. No one wants to end up owing more taxes than they are prepared to pay, but receiving an excessive refund is not the proper solution. 2. Intentionally choosing to loan money to the government without the benefit of earning interest isn’t a smart use of your money.

3. If saving money is your objective, there are better ways for you to meet that goal. “Even a simple savings account—at today’s negligible interest rates— makes more sense than letting Uncle Sam hold onto your cash for 12 months and then handing it back over to you with no interest earned,” says Joshua Huffman, program manager for The Village Financial Resource Center. Continued on page 38

“Even a s imple sav account— ings negligible at today’s makes mo interest rates — Uncle Sare sense than letti m n cash for 1hold onto your g 2 months .”

Pop Quiz: Is It Better to Have a Tax Credit or a Tax Deduction?

Tax time is right around the corner. To see how well the average citizen understands tax time basics, Money Talks News finance expert Stacy Johnson posed these questions. How much do you know?

You miss the April 15 filing deadline. The government will fine you big bucks, right?

Maybe not. The failure-to-file penalty is 5 percent of your unpaid taxes each month, and it begins accruing April 16. The failure-to-pay penalty isn’t quite so hefty, coming in at 0.5 percent of your unpaid taxes. However, the failure-to-file penalty applies only to tax returns on which you owe money. If you’re due a refund, there’s no penalty for late filing. But the IRS says you don’t want to wait too long, or you could lose your refund entirely. Here’s what the agency says on its website: There is no penalty for failure to file if you are due a refund. But, if you wait to file a return or otherwise claim a refund, you risk losing a refund altogether. An original return claiming a refund must be filed within three years of its due date for a refund to be allowed in most instances.

Which is better: A tax credit or a tax deduction?

A tax credit wins every time. The reason is simple. A tax deduction lowers your taxable income, while a tax credit lowers your tax bill dollar for dollar. Here’s an example, with rounded numbers for simplicity. Let’s say you have a $50,000 income and fall into the 25 percent tax bracket. A $1,000 tax deduction reduces your taxable income to $49,000, which would drop your tax bill by $250. However, if you were to have a $1,000 tax credit, your tax bill would be reduced by $1,000. You come out $750 ahead with a tax credit. Tax credits come in two types: refundable and nonrefundable. Let’s say you owe $500 in taxes and have a $1,000 nonrefundable tax credit. In that case, your $500 tax bill would be wiped out and that would be the end of the story. But if you have a $1,000 refundable tax credit, your tax bill would be wiped out, plus you would get $500 back from the government.

True or false? Someone with a multimillion-dollar income can have a lower tax rate than someone earning $100,000.

Oh, you knew this one was true, right? The Internet is full of articles about how the super-rich manage to lower their effective tax rate to less than what more average Americans might pay. While every situation is different, a major reason for the lower tax rate among the wealthy could be how they earn their money. Rather than going to a 9-to-5 job and pulling down a salary, the top income earners may be bringing in their money from the sale of stocks and other assets. Money from those sources, known as capital gains, is taxed at a flat 20 percent for the highest earners. (It can be lower for other folks.)

Do you need an accountant to get your taxes done right?

Nah, you’ll probably be fine on your own. Today’s tax preparation software makes it easy to complete your own tax return, even if you’re self-employed or have cashed in some investments. Personally, I’m a fan of TurboTax, but you have plenty of options from which to choose. If your income is below $60,000, you can even use some programs to file your taxes for free. Check out the IRS’ Free File site (www. irs.gov/uac/Free-File:-Do-Your-Federal-Taxes-for-Free) for links to participating software providers. Of course, tax professionals have their place. If you own a business or have a complicated tax situation, using a pro can be money well spent. If you’re not sure whether you need a tax preparer, remember that many online tax prep sites will let you prepare your return at no cost and charge you only when you file. You can try these sites first, and if you find yourself confused or the numbers don’t seem to add up, you can easily shift to an offline preparer without paying a dime to the website. Prepared for Money Talks News by Maryalene LaPonsie, www.moneytalksnews.com

February/March 2015

“Often the very people who celebrate receiving a refund are those who are most in need of extra money in their pocket each month...” 4. Not having ready access to your own money could put you in financial jeopardy if you are faced with an unplanned expense or emergency. 5. A lower paycheck could result in charging items you would have paid for with cash, thus potentially creating debt. 6. Less money available for debt repayment could increase your likelihood of making late payments, which in turn will negatively impact your credit report and credit score. 7. A smaller paycheck diminishes your opportunity to save, pay bills, donate, or invest. “Often the very people who celebrate receiving a refund are those who are most in need of extra money in their pocket each month,” continues Cunningham. “Living paycheck to paycheck, people often fall behind on important priorities such as rent or vehicle payments. With the refund in recent years averaging close to $3,000, an extra $250 every month could mean the difference between eviction and repossession, yet many people remain reluctant to forego their habit of receiving refunds.”

February/March 2015

8. In spite of good intentions, a once-per-year refund often results in a once-per-year splurge. Avoid the splurge, cautions Huffman: “If you do end up with a refund, consider using it to pay down high-interest credit card debt or to make an extra mortgage payment. People don’t realize you can significantly reduce the length of your mortgage and the amount of interest you pay in the long run by simply making one extra payment a year.” To calculate the proper number of withholding allowances, go to www.IRS.gov and type the words “withholding calculator” into the search bar. After determining the appropriate number of allowances, complete a new W-4 if necessary. You are allowed to submit an updated W-4 to your employer at any time during the year. If the adjusted allowances result in a higher paycheck, make a conscious decision regarding how to best allocate the extra money. Cunningham notes that whether the objective is to save money, catch up on past-due bill payments, donate to charity, or invest, the money will likely not serve its intended purpose if you don’t have a solid plan. For answers and solutions to everyday financial concerns, contact The Village, an NFCC member agency, at 1-800-4504019 or www.HelpWithMoney.org.

One Simple Step. One Heart Saved. One Life Improved.

Gary Rodacker’s family was no stranger to heart disease. The 70-yearold Harwood, N.D., man had 16 aunts and uncles on his father’s side, and the majority of them died from heart complications before they ever reached Gary’s age. “I was aware of the issues, but I wasn’t experiencing any problems myself,” Gary says. “So I never even thought about getting my heart checked out. I felt perfectly fine.” What Gary didn’t know is that while he felt fine on the outside, he was far from fine on the inside. He was taking a risky gamble by choosing to remain in the dark about his heart health. Thankfully, Gary’s family intervened before a life-changing or life-taking event happened. Two of his cousins heard about heart screens at Sanford Health and decided to schedule their own screenings, since they, too, had the same family heart history as Gary. “They both had problems that were detected during their screenings,” Gary says. “They were treatable, but they immediately called my wife, concerned for me.” With some encouragement from his wife and cousins, Gary scheduled a heart screen in mid-July at Sanford Center for Screening. To make it easier, his wife also scheduled her own screen. “My wife’s numbers all came back just like they should,” he recalls. “But my scores looked a lot like my grades in school—not so good. I was told I needed to see a cardiologist as soon as possible.” Holly Boub, clinical manager of prevention and wellness at the screening center, explains that Gary is one of many that Sanford’s team strives to reach. “Our goal is to reach those in the community who are at risk, so they can take appropriate action before it’s too

“It was not a matter of ‘if’, but rather ‘when’ I would have a heart attack. The heart screen changed everything.” late,” she says. “Adults ages 25 to 75 can come in at any time to be screened. Even if you don’t suspect anything, you can get a baseline screening to know where you stand.” Holly says approximately 10 percent of patients who are screened get a direct referral to a cardiologist—just like Gary. Gary talked with his son, who used to work in cardiology at Sanford. He recommended he see Susan Farkas, MD, cardiologist. Gary followed his son’s advice and after an angiogram, Dr. Farkas explained he had multiple blockages in his heart—some as much as 90 percent. And from then, everything moved very quickly. Gary received his angiogram results on a Friday, and the following Monday, August 4 to be exact, he was scheduled for surgery. His cardiothoracic surgeon, Roxanne Newman, MD, explained that because of his condition, he would need at least a triple bypass.

Call 701-23-HEART (701-234-3278) to schedule your heart screen at the Sanford Health Center for Screening. No physician referral is required.

“I was so impressed with the team at Sanford and how quickly everything happened,” Gary says. “Dr. Newman instilled confidence right from the start and it was all over so quickly—it was amazing.” Gary completed cardiac rehabilitation following his surgery and returned to his part-time job hauling corn seed or beans for local farmers. His life has virtually returned to how it was before—almost. “I know that my situation was serious,” he says. “It was not a matter of ‘if’, but rather ‘when’ I would have a heart attack that could have taken my life. It was that heart screen that changed everything.” Holly and Gary both say a heart screen is an inexpensive, painless, and easy way to gain invaluable knowledge. “If we can catch a problem or complication early, a major event can be prevented,” Holly says. “Knowing your risk could save your life—it’s that simple.”

October/November 2014

YOUR FAMILY z feature

Birthday Traditions From

Around the World By Patricia Carlson

Stethoscopes and microphones? Bubble-gum flavored cake? Overseas celebrations? Prayer rituals? These may sound like outrageous birthday ideas to you, but to children around the world, a birthday wouldn’t be a birthday without one of these traditions. The standard American child’s birthday party goes something like this: Host a party at your house/restaurant/ events center; guests bring wrapped presents for your child; you provide copious amounts of food for guests who then sing an off-key version of “Happy Birthday”; the birthday boy blows out the candles on his cake and rips into gifts; guests get a goody bag; everyone goes home exhausted; parents shell out fistfuls of cash to pay for it all. Not every birthday party is created equal. Who hasn’t caught a glimpse of 40

February/March 2015

MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen?” TLC featured a reality show called “Outrageous Kid Parties” and introduced audiences to a couple who spent $32,000 on their 6-year-old daughter’s birthday party. In February 2011, Good Morning America showcased a children’s birthday planner who arranged a party with a whopping $40,000 price tag! That’s not to say birthdays in other parts of the world don’t attain the same lavishness; of course some do. But these celebrations often incorporate a culture, religion, or tradition that somehow make them feel more meaningful than a mega-birthday bash. Still, some children live in countries where birthdays are not revered at all. Here is a roundup of how families around the world celebrate birthdays:

South Korea

A child’s first birthday is very important in Korean culture, explains Bora Gahng, who lives in South Korea and has extended family in Fargo. A family will throw a party at their house or restaurant, but gifts (other than money) are not required. Instead, the baby sits in the middle of a circle of objects and performs a ritual called a “doljabi.” “The baby will pick from a variety of things like a thread, pencil, a bill of money, or stethoscope,” says Gahng. “Nowadays, people seem to add a microphone or a golf club because parents want their babies to be a star or a golf player.” Each object symbolizes a future path for the child. “Thread represents long life; a pencil equals intelligence; a

stethoscope means the baby will grow up to be a doctor,” explains Gahng. A similar ritual is performed in Chinese culture.

Costa Rica

Birthdays in this Central American country are all about family. Not just your immediate family, either. “When we’ve celebrated birthdays in Costa Rica, they’re always filled with family. This means aunts, uncles, cousins, fourth cousins,” chuckles Alison Artavia of Bismarck. Artavia, a native North Dakotan, married her Costa Rican husband three years ago and has traveled to his home country with their son. The celebration can last all day and includes a piñata filled with

morenitos—a hard candy to suck on— and plenty of food. “It’s kind of a big deal to have a leg of pork, called a pierna a la leña, that’s been specially marinated and slow cooked all day. Everyone gets a little piece of pork with some white rice and a tortilla,” says Artavia. Don’t forget about the cake! Big, extravagantly decorated cakes are always ordered (most people don’t have ovens), and the flavors rival that of a bag of jelly beans. “They prefer bubble gum, tutti-frutti, and pineapple. My wedding cake was bubble-gum flavored,” says Artavia.

Israel

When a Jewish boy or girl comes of age, they undergo a rite of passage called a Bar Mitzvah (age 13 for boys) or a Bat Mitzvah (age 12 for girls). The religious meaning of the ritual is to indicate that the boy or girl is responsible for his/her actions. Kids are required to stand before the synagogue and read a portion of the Torah. This is often done in Hebrew that the boy or girl has most likely studied in Hebrew school. You may already know all this, right? But you may not realize that a lot of American parents host their child’s Bar/ Bat Mitzvah in Israel! “I’ve known a lot of families who have had their kids’ Bar/Bat Mitzvahs in Israel because really, it’s a religious event at its core,” says Danielle Braff February/March 2015

India

“It’s kind of a big deal to have a leg of pork, called a pierna a la leña.” Karpinos, a mom of two girls who grew up in a heavily Jewish community in New York City. “But it’s also a huge deal. It’s like a wedding and it gets really expensive for everyone involved.” Karpinos remembers getting Tiffany necklaces and other expensive presents—“well over $100,” she says— from her guest list that totaled roughly 150 people.

There are two birthdays you don’t want to miss in India—your first and your sixtieth. Both days are filled with prayers and puja (a Hindi prayer ritual). Family and friends from all over come to celebrate with you and your family, explains Dr. Arveity Setty, a Sanford Health Pediatric Sleep Medicine Specialist who lives in West Fargo. Originally from India, Dr. Setty says birthdays are a big deal for children until about the tenth grade. You get to wear a colorful outfit to school and hand out chocolate to all of your classmates. Even better, teachers take it easy on you and will give you a reprieve on your homework. Often, your parents throw you a western-style birthday party, too. When you turn 60, you’re once again the center of attention for a huge celebration called Shastipoorthi, which roughly translates to “completed 60

years.” Men, in particular, are given special reverence for Shastipoorthi. The ceremonies are akin to renewing your marriage vows and are ideally performed in the same month as your birthday.

Netherlands

There are two things you need to know about birthdays among the Dutch: 1) You better be prepared to bake your own cake; 2) nobody will ever forget your child’s birthday because it will be printed on a “Birthday Calendar” proudly displayed in family and friends’ bathrooms. Yep, you read that right. According to the blog, www. stuffdutchpeoplelike.com (which appears to be helmed and policed by a vigorous number of orange-loving Dutch), birthdays are serious business in the Netherlands. As soon as you can comfortably operate the oven on your own—we’re talking to you, teens—

The Village Counselors are here to help. In many cases, The Village’s in-office counseling (for individuals, couples, parents, and children) is covered by your health insurance. Online counseling is also available.

1201 25th St. S., Fargo • 701-451-4900 1401 8th St. S., Moorhead • 701-451-4811 www.TheVillageFamily.org 42

February/March 2015

How can you up the cool factor for your next birthday?

you’ll be expected to provide a tasty cake for your guests. Then the congratulations, or “gefeliciteerd,” begins. Rain Huskes, an American living in the Netherlands with her husband and son, says she found the tradition odd at first. “You not only congratulate the person on their birthday, but you congratulate their parents, other family members, friends, kids, basically everyone in the room,” she says. “Then you take your spot and wait to be waited on by the birthday host.” But you get the same treatment as your guests whenever one of their birthdays rolls around, and you’ll never miss one because of your birthday calendar!

Burundi

Traditionally, in this African nation and in many other African cultures, birthdays are not celebrated because most people don’t know what their real birth date is. “People who are born in villages still don’t put an emphasis on their birth date so they’re more likely to forget it,” says Laetitia Mizero, a native Burundian and mom of two who now calls Fargo home. Instead, Mizero says many Africans tie their births to the natural, cultural, or political landscape that existed in their countries around the time they were born. “You hear stories like, ‘It was the year Burundi got its independence,’ or, ‘It was when Burundi had that terrible flood,’” she explains. Refugees who come from nations that don’t typically celebrate birthdays often take the assigned date of January 1 (and whatever year they believe they were born) once they transition to life in America. Otherwise, parents may refer to the date of their own or their child’s baptism as the birth date. Africans born in urban areas, however, may take a different approach to birthdays. “For those like me, born in cities and from educated parents, we do have western-style celebrations with cakes, guests, and presents because that is where the influence came from,” says Mizero.

Canada

Buttered noses and fortune cakes await Canadian kids on their birthdays. The website, www.birthdaycelebrations.net, writes that a buttered nose is supposed to help children slip away from bad luck. Lore has it that this tradition began in Scotland and carried into Eastern Canada. Even better than a buttered nose is a fortune cake, sometimes called a money cake. It’s exactly what it claims to be. Coins (lots of smaller change and only one quarter) are individually wrapped in a twist of wax paper and baked into a cake. The birthday party guest who finds the quarter is destined for the greatest wealth that year! All of these festive birthday traditions are unique. However, there is one common denominator: Every person deserves to be celebrated at least once a year for being a part of this great, big, beautiful world around us. Formerly from Fargo-Moorhead, freelance writer Patricia Carlson writes about baby boomers, parenting, and healthy lifestyles for magazines across the country. Check out her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.

Check out more of these wonderful, weird, and wacky birthday traditions from around the world. Irish children are “bumped” on their birthdays. The birthday boy or girl is turned upside down and their head is bumped to the floor as many times as their age. Sometimes, they may get an extra bump for good luck! People celebrate birthdays in China by slurping longevity noodles that are thought to bring long life and good luck. The dish is eaten on other occasions, too, like Chinese New Year. Whether you are turning 9 or 99, no one is safe from getting “floured” on their birthday in Jamaica. Family and friends spend the entire day finding ways to toss flour on you, the unsuspecting victim. It’s not meant to be evil, just a fun way to have some great laughs. Vietnamese don’t acknowledge the day they were born as a birthday. Rather, everyone celebrates together on New Year’s Day, referred to as “Tet,” the first morning of the new year. For example, a baby turns 1 on Tet no matter what day he or she was born on that year. Sources: www.ask.com www.mentalfloss.com www.mangosalute.com www.chineseculture.about.com www.coolest-kid-birthday-parties.com www.wholefoodsmarket.com

You’re Wanted... There’s a child waiting for YOU! Call today about bringing a child into your home 701-280-9545 800-766-9321 www.pathinc.org

February/March 2015

counseling

ASK A COUNSELOR

Chuck Summers, MS, LMFT, CEAP

Sheila Kapaun, LADC ShareHouse Counselor ShareHouse, Inc.

Counseling Supervisor The Village Family Service Center do I know if I should consider Q:How seeing a counselor?

People often decide to see a counselor when something significant happens in their life, such as a traumatic experience, a relationship crisis, death of a loved one, or simply an overwhelming level of personal stress. The process of discussing your concerns with a neutral and knowledgeable third party can often help you begin to put your experience into perspective rather quickly. In some cases, you and the counselor may discover that depression, anxiety, or some other mental health issue is a complicating factor. If this occurs, you and the counselor will work together to develop a plan for treating the mental health issue, so you are able to more effectively manage the challenging situations in your life.

The Village Family Service Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 701-451-4900 www.TheVillageFamily.org

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Q: A:

I n treatment, I’ve learned family support is important in my recovery. But my family uses drugs and alcohol, so where else can I find support?

When it comes to family support, family can mean friends, coworkers, extended family members, clergy, as well as others in recovery that you have a close and supportive relationship with. You may find it helpful to attend Al-Anon as well as your 12-Step support group for additional support. ShareHouse has online resources at www.ShareHouse. org. Click on the “Ask A Counselor” link or you can call ShareHouse at 701-282-6561.

ShareHouse, Inc. 701-282-6561 www.ShareHouse.org

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YOUR FAMILY z food & fun

Tile Coasters Square ceramic tiles 

Scrapbook paper  Acrylic paint  Felt  Mod Podge (glossy or matte)  Glue  Sponge brush  Scissors  Pencil 

Paint the edges of your plain tiles with a sponge brush. Wash sponge brush with soap and water. Trace outline of tiles onto scrapbook paper with pencil and cut out squares. Apply Mod Podge to backside of paper with sponge brush; lay paper on tile and smooth out any bubbles with your hand or hard object (such as a credit card). Allow to dry. Using your sponge brush, cover the top of paper with a coat of Mod Podge and let dry. Cut out squares of felt to fit the tiles, and glue felt to the bottom side of tiles to prevent coasters from scratching surfaces.

Glazed Pork Chops for Two

• 2 boneless pork chops (medium thickness) • 2 Tbsps brown sugar • 1/4 tsp garlic powder • 1/4 tsp onion powder • 1/4 tsp ground red pepper (cayenne) • 1/4 tsp paprika • 1/2 tsp salt • 1/4 tsp black pepper • 1-2 Tbsps oil for frying Lyric, Age 2

Victoria, Age 2

Cornstarch Ooze

• Cornstarch • Water • Food coloring (optional) • Bowl Combine two parts cornstarch to one part water and mix together in a bowl/container. Add food coloring if desired. Play and experiment with this amazing mixture. (Submitted by: Toddler I Room at Nokomis I)

Set your oven to 350 degrees. In a small bowl, thoroughly mix the brown sugar and all the spices together. Rub the sugar and spice mixture over both sides of each pork chop— using all of the mixture and coating both sides well. Heat the oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Once the oil is hot, add the seasoned pork chops. Cook for 3-5 minutes on each side to brown them. (Watch them carefully because the sugar will burn.) Transfer the chops to a baking sheet or small, oven-safe pan and bake in the oven until cooked through—approximately 5-10 minutes or until pork reaches 145°-160°.)

February/March 2015

YOUR FAMILY z words & wisdom

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out. —Elizabeth Bowen

Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. —Voltaire You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. —Sam Keen

Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze. —Elynor Glyn

The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of. —Blaise Pascal Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. —Zora Neale Hurston

February/March 2015

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. —Henry Van Dyke

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren’t even there before. —Mignon McLaughlin

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. —Henry Drummond

At First Step Recovery, we treat the whole person and approach the disease from several angles, which includes any medical or psychological issues that may be complicating recovery. The professionals at First Step Recovery provide assessment and treatment services on a variety of levels, including Partial Hospital Program, Intensive Outpatient Program, Outpatient Program, Aftercare, and Family Programming.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is what we do every day. We help people beat their addictions. Whether you are the person struggling with the addiction, or a family member, we've got you. We are here for you as long as you need us.â&#x20AC;?

Mike Kaspari, R.N. Director, First Step Recovery

Call 701-293-3384

3201 Fiechtner Drive, Fargo www.FirstStep-Recovery.com

The road to recovery begins with the First Step.

Ron Wiisanen, MD

Kelly Kadlec, EdD

Kim LaHaise, PhD

Kathryn Bentley, RN

Lose weight. Gain a healthier life. Sanford Weight Management Program Call (701) 234-4111 for more information. sanfordhealth.org, keyword: weight loss management

1500-54110-0055 12/14

Maren Krueger, LRD