The Village Family Magazine - August/September 2015 by The Village Family Service Center

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August/September 2015

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YOUR FAMILY z from the editor August/September 2015 Vol. 19, No. 4 Publisher The Village Family Service Center Gary Wolsky Tammy Noteboom Editor-in-Chief Kelly Lynch Graphic Design & Layout Jared Zimney Advertising Sales Manager Joy Ryan Calendar Editor Shayna Hendricksen Copy Editor Shayna Hendricksen The Village Family Service Center Board of Directors Carrie Bjorge, Steve Connelly, David Dougherty, Richard Duysen, Al Erickson, Judy Green, Dr. Richard Hanson, Tammy Hauck, Richard Henderson, Dr. Karen Mellum, Tom Nelson, Jim Newhouse, Dr. Joy Query, John Wagner, Becky Walen

For advertising, call 701-451-4937 For editorial comments or questions, please call 701-451-4937 or email magazine@ TheVillageFamily.org For subscription information, please call 701-451-4936

National Grandparents Day is celebrated every September on the first Sunday following Labor Day. Many people think it was dreamed up by the greeting card industry, but it actually originated with a West Virginia housewife, Marian McQuade. She wanted Grandparents Day to accomplish three things: to honor grandparents; to encourage grandparents to show their grandchildren love; and to encourage children to learn from the strength, wisdom, and guidance of older people. McQuade was right. Grandparents have so much to offer and certainly should be celebrated. Growing up, I only had one set of grandparents around and they were well into their 70s when I was born. I remember little about my grandmother, except that she always seemed very stern. I think she fully endorsed the opinion that children should be seen and not heard. When we visited, she served us Red Rose tea with lots of sugar—I do cherish that memory. My grandfather was quiet and uninvolved with his grandchildren until he became a widower. I don’t know exactly what transpired—whether it was the realization of his own mortality or that he was finally allowed to be “himself”—but my grandpa became conversational and engaging after my grandma died. He learned to cook just one meal—beef stew. He perfected his recipe. He loved to have people over for dinner. You knew if Grandpa was making you dinner, it was always beef stew. I’ll be honest; for a rookie cook, he made a very tasty stew. Grandpa wrote me wonderful letters while I was in college. They were long letters. The envelopes arrived puffed out and nearly bursting from being stuffed with so many pages. He wrote me on white legal paper with a blotchy black pen in his jagged handwriting. The letters were filled with encouragement and advice—he was never short on advice. Somewhere in that back and forth correspondence we had, as we each shared more and more of ourselves, he became my hero. I treasure those letters. If my grandpa were around today, I’d make it a point to celebrate Grandparents Day with him. Thanks for reading,

Printed by Forum Communications Printing, Fargo, N.D. ©2015 The Village Family Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. The Village Family Magazine is a registered trademark. The Village Family Magazine does not necessarily endorse content of advertising. The mission of The Village Family Magazine is to broaden the ability of The Village Family Service Center to improve the quality of people’s lives. In each issue, articles and features will educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships. Mail correspondence to: The Village Family Service Center ATTN: Family Magazine P.O. Box 9859 Fargo, ND 58106

August/September 2015

About the Cover Photo Sophia (21/2 Years) Photography by Karyn Carbone, In Bloom Photography www.InBloomImages.com

departments z money

6 Loathe It? Leave It! 5 Simple Steps for Switching Banks

Tired of your current bank? Make the transition to a new financial institution with these helpful hints. z online

14 Growing Up Online: Recognizing Fake News

Young people tend to get their news online. Help them decipher what is genuine and what is bogus.

z parenting

16 When Your Child Hates School

Get to the root of why your child dislikes school with these suggestions from local educators. z feature

18 Talking to Your Kids About Marijuana Marijuana legalization is sweeping the country. Know the latest facts about this illicit drug and how to start a dialogue with your kids. z celebration

36 How to Design a Recovery-Friendly Get-Together

Discover ways to entertain friends and loved ones dealing with addiction recovery. z consumer

40 Animal Overhead: The Actual Cost of Owning a Pet

You’ve fallen in love with that fluffy little kitten, but before you take her home, consider all that’s involved in pet care. in every issue z gary’s opinion.......... 9

z events calendar....... .24

z books & movies....... 10

z food & fun................ .45

z mom’s view.............. 12

z words & wisdom...... .46

z dad’s view................ 13

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August/September 2015

YOUR FAMILY z money

Loathe It? Leave It! 5 Simple Steps for Switching Banks

August/September 2015

Are rude tellers and outrageous fees among your bank’s claims to fame? Enough already! You shouldn’t have to put up with that. There are plenty of other fish, er, banks, in the sea waiting for your business. Why waste your time and money on an institution you hate? You may think switching banks is a royal pain, but it’s really not. Here are five steps to make the process as painless as possible.

Step No. 1: Review your options

This step is likely the one you’ll spend the most time on, but don’t rush the process. You don’t want to trade one bad bank for another. In fact, after your research, you may find you don’t want a new bank at all. You may discover a credit union is your best bet for financial bliss. Everyone’s priorities are different, but here’s what you may want to consider when looking for the best financial institution for your money:  Monthly cost of a checking account and how you can avoid paying it  Overdraft fees and overdraft protection options, as well as their cost  ATM availability and fees for using out-of-network machines  Online features such as bill payment services and mobile account access  Branch locations and hours (if you still like the personal touch)  Perks such as credit or debit card rewards  Ability to bundle all banking needs at one institution (i.e. checking, savings, loans, and investments)

Step No. 3: Open a new account

Now it’s time to actually open the account. Depending on the institution, you may need to make an appointment to do so, or you may be able to walk in any time during business hours. Typically, you’ll be required to provide:  Government-issued identification such a driver’s license.  Social Security number.  Cash for the initial deposit. Online banking applications may ask for your name, address, and other identifying information in lieu of seeing a photo ID. If you’re applying for a joint account, it may save time if you and your co-applicant are able to go together and open the account. However, many institutions will let one applicant start the process and let the second person come in at a different time to present their identification and sign the necessary paperwork.

Step No. 4: Update billing information

You have your new account open, but don’t close the old one just yet. First, you need to make sure all your billing information is updated.

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 Current promotions for new customers. In addition to looking at local institutions, don’t forget to check out virtual banks like Capital One 360 and Ally, which can offer competitive services and easy account access online and through ATMs.

Step No. 2: Ask for a switch kit

Once you’ve settled on a new bank or credit union, ask if they have a switch kit. Some institutions offer a packet of forms and information to help guide you through the process of switching banks. Contents may include direct deposit forms, worksheets, and checklists. As part of a switch kit, you may also get a form to mail to your old bank asking them to close your account. That can be handy, but hold onto the form. You don’t want to use it just yet.

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August/September 2015

If you use an online bill pay service, print out your list of payees and enter that information into the bill pay service for your new account. Checking each account off as you enter it is a good way to ensure you don’t skip any. Next, check in with your insurance companies or any other company you may have authorized to take payments automatically out of your account on a periodic basis. If you have a PayPal, Serve, or prepaid card attached to your checking account, update those as well. Finally, leave a balance in your old account to cover any outstanding checks or recurring charges you may have forgotten about. Since most checking

accounts have a monthly fee attached to them, it could get expensive to leave your old account open indefinitely. However, you’ll want to wait at least a month or two to make sure you’ve caught any straggling bills.

Step No. 5: Close the old account After a few weeks with no activity on your old account, it’s probably safe to close it. At this point, you can send in the form your bank provided with the switch kit, or you can have the satisfaction of walking into a branch and telling them face-toface that you two are through. Prepared for Money Talks News by Maryalene LaPonsie, www.moneytalksnews.com

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August/September 2015

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YOUR FAMILY z gary’s opinion

Strong Values Strengthen a Community By Gary Wolsky, President/CEO The Village Family Service Center In May, a very quiet but remarkable thing happened in Fargo that, once again, sets us apart in a very positive way from a plague of disrespect that seems to be infecting our country. It was a simple Wolsky basketball game, a pick-up game by a group of folks at Island Park and a group of Fargo policemen on bikes. The policemen were on a training effort that was canceled because of construction. So they rolled their bikes into the basketball courts and, with bulletproof vests on and pistols strapped to their hips, they challenged the players and began to have some great fun. Although there was a good bit of apparent nervousness at the start of the game, it was only a short time before a certain amount of comradery, along with a healthy sense of competition, worked its magic (the officers won 7-5). We can assume they parted company with some of their existing stereotypes having been challenged and perhaps a new sense of respect on both sides—the guys in blue and the guys in shorts and tennis shoes. Compare this to the recent sad, gruesome, and totally indefensible events in Ferguson, Mo., New York City, and elsewhere, where the behaviors of all concerned—including

the media and our President—have often grossly distorted the behavior on the street and the role and function of our police departments, who have been cast as villains. We live in a bizarre time when, sometimes, up is portrayed as down and left is portrayed as right. We allow this to happen at our peril. The number of violent incidents seems to be increasing in many areas. This, I believe, is partially due to our addiction to political correctness and the disrespect being showed for authority. I have long said our corner of the world is an island of relative calm. It isn’t that we don’t have problems, but the values we have been teaching our children for generations continue to have merit. To the extent that we adhere to the values that are evidenced all around us—from the granite Ten Commandments monument in our courtyards, to the sermons, to the Bible school and catechism teachings—our health as a community will continue to be fine. If we stray from these time-tested values, we do so at great risk. We’ll know this happens when we begin to look like Ferguson, New York City, or south Chicago. The opinions expressed in this column are strictly those of The Village Family Service Center CEO. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the organization, staff, or boards of directors.

Are you thinking of buying A home? Attend The Village Family Service Center’s FREE Homebuyer Education Class. • Local lenders, realtors, and housing assistance programs offer advice

• Option to work one-on-one with a financial counselor to create a personal financial action plan (included at no charge)

Upcoming Dates:

August 3 & 4 from 5:45-9:45 p.m., Clay County Family Service Center, 715 11th St. N., Moorhead, MN August 17 & 18 from 5:45-9:45 p.m., Best Western Kelly Inn and Suites, 1767 44th St. S., Fargo, ND September 28 & 29 from 5:45-9:45 p.m., Best Western Kelly Inn and Suites, 1767 44th St. S., Fargo ND This is an authorized education program to qualify for Homebuyer Assistance in Fargo and Moorhead.

Call 701-235-3328 to register or visit www.helpWithmoney.org

August/September 2015

YOUR FAMILY z m vies

Jared “Big Hero 6”

“Divergent Series: Insurgent”

PG-13 Release Date August 4 “Insurgent” is the second installment in the “Divergent” trilogy. The movies are based on the best-selling books by Veronica Roth. This is definitely a movie for older teenagers and young adults. Tris and Four and a band of Divergents are being blamed for the Abnegation massacre and are being rounded up. The council leader (Jeanine) realizes she needs Tris’s skills to open a mysterious box. Once the box’s contents are revealed, Jeanine orders Tris and Four executed. Before this happens, the army attacks the facility, arresting the council leader, and Tris is hailed as a hero. The cast includes Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Miles Teller, and Kate Winslet.

PG Available on DVD Fourteen-year-old Hiro Hamada is a boy genius. When he presents his microbots invention at the university science fair, Hiro believes he’ll be accepted into the prestigious school. After an untimely fire at the school leaves him without his microbots, Hiro feels all is lost. Until one day when Baymax, a healthcare companion robot created © Walt Disney Studios by Hiro’s brother, wakes up. Baymax inadvertently leads Hiro to a warehouse where they find the microbots under the control of an evil masked villain. It’s up to Hiro, Baymax, and a cast of colorful characters to defeat the masked man, reclaim the microbots, and save the city of San Fransokyo from total destruction. This production from Walt Disney Animation Studies features the voice talents of big-name actors Maya Rudolph, James Cromwell, and Alan Tudyk, along with new-comer Ryan Potter as Hiro.

“Shaun the Sheep Movie”

“Atlantis: The Lost Empire”

PG On Netflix Instant Stream Michael J. Fox is the voice of Milo Thatch who is determined to find the lost city of Atlantis—taking up his grandfather’s quest. Milo’s journey is funded by an old family friend. He and a crew of explorers board a submarine to go in search of the lost island. The voyage includes a ferocious battle with few survivors, but those who remain make it to Atlantis. The king of the secret island wants them killed so no harm will come to his subjects and no one else will find Atlantis. Voice cast includes Fox, James Garner, and Leonard Nimoy.

August/September 2015

PG In Theaters August 5 Shaun the Sheep and his friends find themselves trapped in the city. Unfamiliar with life in a metropolis, © StudioCanal the flock of sheep tries to fit in to avoid capture. They use “wool” power and teamwork to get things done. The film is dialogue-free with the animal characters communicating through facial expressions and gestures and the human characters speaking gibberish similar to that found in “Peanuts” TV specials. The stop-motion animation is courtesy of Aardman Animation—the developers of “Wallace and Gromit.”

YOUR FAMILY z

Baby & Preschool “One Naked Baby” by Maggie Smith Count from one to 10 as this adorable baby takes a bath, gets dressed, and eats a snack. Through a day of splashing in puddles and playing with puppies, we count down from 10 to one. By the end, baby is happy and tired— and dirty enough for another bath!

Ages 9 to 12 “Auggie & Me” by R.J. Palacio Fans of Palacio’s “Wonder” will be thrilled to read more about Auggie Pullman from three different perspectives: the school bully (Julian), Auggie’s oldest friend (Christopher), and Auggie’s classmate and newest school friend (Charlotte). These stories are an extra peek at Auggie before he began at Beecher Prep and during his first year there.

Adults “Badlands” by C.J. Box Readers who enjoy regional fiction will appreciate this detective novel about drug and gang activity in a small North Dakota oilfield town. Detective Cassie Dewell is the newly assigned deputy sheriff of Grimstad, now the oil capital of North Dakota. With oil comes money, with money comes drugs, and with drugs come criminals. While delivering newspapers, 12-yearold Kyle witnesses a car accident and now has a lot of money and packets of white powder in his possession. When the temperature drops and a gang war heats up, Cassie finds the key to it all might be an undersized boy on a bike who keeps showing up where he doesn’t belong.

Book Reviews Courtesy Barnes & Noble, Fargo

LOCAL AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT!

Ages 4 to 8 “Explorasaurus ABCs” by Avery Nubson This entertaining alphabet book brings letters to colorful life. Local author and illustrator Avery Nubson uses a variety of dinosaurs to teach kids their ABCs. Each page features an illustrated dinosaur with a clever comment and a selection of fun facts along the bottom. From Allie the Ankylosaurus to Zoey the Zephyrosaurus (who, incidentally, “zests a zillion zucchinis”), kids will have tons of fun learning new things about the dinosaur world. —Reviewed by Kelly Lynch

Teenagers “The Tyrant’s Daughter” by J.C. Carleson When her father is killed in a coup, teenager Laila and her mother and brother leave their war-torn homeland for a fresh start in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. But this new life brings unsettling facts to light. The American newspapers call her father a brutal dictator and suggest her family’s privilege came at the expense of innocent lives. As an international crisis takes shape around her, Laila is pulled in one direction, then another, knowing her decision will affect countless lives.

August/September 2015

YOUR FAMILY z mom’s view

The Eye Roll Gold Medalist By Pam Molnar

Moms like to brag about their kids. It’s a given. It starts with how long the mother labored and how much her baby weighed. It moves on to the first tooth, earliest walker, and those who potty trained before anyone else. And, while many of those early stories are amazing, those are things we all do eventually. Moms with high-school-age children have so much more to brag about. You see, only a small percentage of people will ever do what their child has accomplished. Varsity team as a freshman. Perfect score on their ACT. Accepted with a full ride to Julliard. It is impressive stuff and these moms can’t help but share with everyone. I am one of those parents. In fact, I have topped them all. My 17-year-old is a Junior Olympic Gold Medalist in Eye Rolling. Oh, yeah. Take that, perfect ACT score mom! And you know what? My 15-year-old got the Silver Medal. How lucky am I? I bet you did not even know they had that category in the Junior Olympics. They do. In fact, with so many teenagers vying for the Eye Rolling Gold Medal, the competition is fierce. My girls are truly gifted. They have been practicing the art of Eye Rolling since they were preteens. It was an average day when I noticed my oldest daughter’s talent. We were shopping for clothes and I suggested an outfit that I thought was cute. Out of nowhere, my daughter produced a perfect eye roll in answer to my suggestion. It happened so naturally it took my breath away. From that moment on, she practiced as often as she could. Whenever I suggested a clothing combination, sang along to a song on the radio, or asked for her help, she would work on her eye roll. We were so elated when she felt comfortable sharing her gift in front of her grandparents and, of course, her friends. Everyone got to see her impressive eye roll. A few of her friends tried to copy it, but they apparently didn’t have as much fodder to support their ability to produce the perfect eye roll. I guess it takes the right kind of mother to build that talent in their child. I really saw my daughter move to the next level when she added the complaint moan. You see, if you’re not looking at my daughter’s face, you might miss her eye roll. She soon discovered if she moaned in complaint along with the eye roll, she would have a much bigger audience. It’s hard to explain the beauty of it unless you are in the same room, but I will try to set the scene. Imagine a teenager sitting on the couch with the TV on. She is not actually watching the TV, but instead engaged in something on her phone. Her mother is in the kitchen, mixing ground beef for meatballs. The dog is standing at the back door, wanting to go out. The dog barks but the teenager ignores the dog’s pleas. The mother asks her daughter nicely, “Honey, the dog needs to go out and my hands are covered in meatballs. Can you let her out?” 12

August/September 2015

Illustration by Trygve Olson

And the mother waits. And she waits. The mother repeats the request, a little louder this time. There is no movement from the teenager. The dog barks again. This time the mother replaces the word “honey” with her daughter’s first and middle names. And here it comes. The teen throws her head back for a second before inhaling deeply and sitting up straighter. Her jaw clenches as her eyeballs roll in the direction of the voice from the other room. Without blinking, her eyes come back to center, and the teen turns her head toward her mother. Angry to be interrupted while scrolling through Instagram, the teen shoots a final death glare before standing up. Just in case her mother wasn’t looking, the teen lets out a moan that is a combination of disgust and aggravation before stomping her feet as she walks to the back door. Another perfect 10. I am so proud. I wonder if they make an Eye Roll Olympiad sticker for the back of my car. Pam Molnar is a freelance writer and mother of three teenagers. She is fluent in sarcasm, grousing, and can decipher mumbled words.

YOUR FAMILY z dad’s view

The Bad of Being Dad By J. Shane Mercer

Being a dad is awesome except for the parts that aren’t. What are those parts that stink? Here’s a list: 1. The mountains of plastic crud - After a few Christmases, birthdays, and trips to Chuck E. Cheese’s, you realize that basically your kid is getting the same thing over and over. It’s all just hunks of brightly colored plastic in different shapes. And they get heaps of it. You want to throw it all away, but you can’t. To kids, toys aren’t blobs of plastic; they’re playmates. And they love them and hug them and name them and cry if you get rid of them. So eventually, plastic crud ends up spilling out the windows and doorways of your home, and you need a shovel to get to the bathroom. 2. The incessant reminder that I’m becoming old - My now 7-year-old son, Will, once asked me if milk existed when I was young. 3. The incessant reminder that I’m not as smart as I should be - One day Will said, “Dad, do frogs have privates?” (Sigh.) I didn’t know. (In my defense, it’s not as simple as it sounds. Google it.) 4. Birthday presents - I’m not talking about the presents I buy for my kids. But why do we parents have to choke up $25 every other week just because our kids’ classmates existed for another year? And all these presents come in the form of plastic (See #1 above). As parents, we should revolt and, in lieu of gifts, just make a modest donation to the birthday boy’s/girl’s college fund. Seriously! Who’s with me? 5. Enrichment activities - The last thing you want to do as a parent is thwart the talent of the next Beethoven or Babe Ruth or Ella Fitzgerald that comes into the world. Who wants that on their conscience? So we all compensate by having our children involved in swimming club, debate club, chess club, macramé club, printmaking club, pyrotechnics club, welding class, shop class, cross stitch class, origami class, kirigami class, abstract expressionism class, auto body maintenance class, and track and field. Because, really, you just never know. 6. They break my stuff - They’re wrecking balls with legs. Next! 7. The utter disregard children have for social norms Almost 99 percent of problems associated with parenting for the first five years boil down to just two facts: Adults care about social acceptability; kids don’t. You want your car to project an upwardly mobile professional image; your daughter wipes Cheetos dust all over your headrest. You want all your friends to think you’re a got-it-all-together, Super Parent; your kid keeps pooping in the corner of the living room when they visit. 8. The children remind me of my obnoxious personality traits by inheriting them - They do it on purpose. 9. How much food they eat (or whatever they do with it) - Try to make sense of this math. Take an average couple. Add to that couple a 5-year-old child who eats a third as much food as either adult, and the cost of groceries needed to sustain the family will triple. It’s illogical, inscrutable, and true. 10. They fear what’s not dangerous; they don’t fear what is dangerous - The same child who won’t sit on the toilet for

Illustration by Trygve Olson

fear of being sucked down when it’s flushed will plug a fork into a light socket, attempt to ride a rabid dog, and cram a sizzling firecracker into the deepest recess of their nasal cavity. It’s the irony that’s frustrating. 11. Almost killing your child - One of the secrets of being a good parent is to not kill your kid. But it’s harder than it might seem. One day, Will and I were play-fighting on the bed when I picked him up in the air and somehow dropped him into the crevice between the bed and the treadmill…head first. I was horrified. So was Will. “I don’t want to fight ever again,” he cried. Turns out, he was fine. We were wrestling again in about five minutes. The upside is, after you almost kill your child five or six times and they survive, you start to kind of relax about everything. That’s why parents who are raising their fourth or fifth kid are so much calmer than first-time parents… plus, they’re sleepy. J. Shane Mercer is the digital marketing specialist at The Village Family Service Center. He and his wife, Amy, live in Fargo with their three children, Ariana (11), Talia (11), and Will (7).

August/September 2015

YOUR FAMILY z online

Learning to distinguish between reliable and bogus information is a crucial skill in the 21st century. For a brief time, it seemed search engines might help people zero in on accurate, well-researched information. Instead, social media has made it easy to share “news” that has no basis in fact. The proliferation of fake news has accelerated because of websites that exploit the pay-per-click feature of online advertising. Nothing gets more clicks than an outrageous or too-good-to-be-true headline. When people share such stories without thinking, they ricochet around cyberspace, encouraging 14

August/September 2015

people to mourn celebrities who aren’t dead, worry about risks that aren’t real, and feel outrage over things that never happened. The problem has become so serious that Google is reportedly investigating ways to rank its results to factor in accuracy as well as popularity. Now that nearly a third of Americans get their news from Facebook, according to the Pew Research Center, that company is also making efforts to stem the tide of fake news. To report something problematic, users can click the downward arrow in the upper right corner of the post. Select “Report problem.” Select “I don’t think this belongs on

Facebook.” Choose the option that explains why the story shouldn’t be shared. Of course, the success of this tactic depends upon people being able to recognize fake news when they see it. Parents can help their children become part of the solution rather than the problem by routinely talking about news and encouraging kids to ask the following questions, especially about stories that seem true because they’ve appeared so often in social media. Why was the story written? Even elementary-age children can think about why someone is telling them something. Are they trying to be helpful? Are they selfserving? Are they joking? Are they lying? Help children understand that, in general, journalists and scientists are trying to help people understand things better. They may get things wrong sometimes, but most do objective research and present their findings fairly. Is it a joke? A number of websites make fun of the news in order to expose foolish policies and corrupt behavior. The Onion, for example, is famous for its satire, but not everyone gets the joke. A website called Literallyunbelievable shares posts from gullible people who have posted an Onion story as though it were true. Since satire can be a difficult concept for kids, teach your child to check websites for disclaimers. Lightly Braised Turnip, for example, says simply, “The LBT retains the right to invent facts for its own financial health.” When you can’t find a clear statement about what the website does, do a search that includes the name of the site and the word satire, hoax, or fake. Who wrote and published the story? Some of the most notorious fake news sites include World News Daily Report, The Daily Currant, National Report, Empire News, and The News Examiner. Despite their newsy names, these sites regularly fabricate stories simply because they will earn more money if they can get people to click and share. In contrast, legitimate news organizations make a distinction between news, editorial opinion, and advertising. Professional journalists take pride in their work, so stories will have a byline and often it will be possible to contact the reporter. To help your child understand some of what journalists do to get to the bottom of a story, check out the informative videos at thenewsliteracyproject.org/ learn-channel. Among other things, there’s a fascinating explanation of how editors confirm the reliability of a photograph. Has the story been confirmed by other news organizations? Stories that are true will quickly show up on websites for major news organizations. To find out whether a story has been picked up by other news outlets, check a news aggregator like Google news (news.google. com). Kids can also make use of websites that specialize in uncovering hoaxes. Snopes.com debunks a wide variety of urban legends and false stories. Factcheck.org investigates the reliability of statements by politicians. The Washington Post does a weekly column about what was fake on the Internet. (Go to Washingtonpost.com and search for what’s fake.) Hoax-Slayer.com and Thatsnonsense.com also try to keep people informed about the latest viral foolishness. What’s the source? As kids get older, they need to know how to evaluate sources so they can put their faith in people who deserve it. A media literacy program developed by professors at Stony Brook University uses the memorable

acronym I’M VAIN to help students judge the reliability of news sources. I – Independent. A source that tries to be objective is better than a source that is trying to sell a product or an idea. M – Multiple. A story is more reliable when it’s confirmed by multiple sources rather than a single person. V – Verify. Sources that can back up a story with facts are preferable to sources that simply have opinions. AI – Authoritative and Informed. A story is more reliable if it comes from an expert who has the respect of peers. N – Named. Sources that are willing to go on the record are better than anonymous sources. Of course, most adults know that information is never perfect. New facts are always coming to light, and people can have legitimate differences about how to interpret facts. Still, helping kids recognize blatantly fake news means that, at the very least, they won’t be misled or embarrassed by sharing something foolish. Better yet, they will become adults who are able to form opinions and make decisions, confident they are based on the most reliable information they can find. Carolyn Jabs, M.A., raised three computer-savvy kids including one with special needs. She has been writing Growing Up Online for 10 years and is working on a book about constructive responses to conflict. Visit www.growingup-online.com to read other columns. @ Copyright, 2015, Carolyn Jabs. All rights reserved.

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August/September 2015

YOUR FAMILY z parenting

When Your Child Hates School By Sean Brotherson

s a parent of children in high school, middle school, and elementary school, it is not unusual to hear the following comments from my children: “I just don’t want to go to school today.” “I had a bad day at school.” “I hate school!” In response, parents are prone to say things like, “Your day couldn’t have been that bad!” or “You don’t really hate school.” But think about your experiences as a working adult, and sometimes you might say to yourself, “I just don’t want to go to work today,” or “I hate work right now.” You don’t want someone else to ignore you or invalidate your feelings. Similarly, when your children express dislike or anxiety about school, they need you to listen and provide support. Local professionals who work with kids, parents, and in the educational system weigh in on how to help the child who declares, “I hate school!”

Observe

Pay close attention and note if there are “triggers” for your child’s feelings about school. Watch him for several days to figure out if the negative sentiment he expresses about school is a temporary, “one-day” episode or a continuing pattern of anxiety or frustration. Kim Bushaw, an extension family life specialist with the NDSU Extension Service and long-time parent educator, says, “You need to observe and note when it happens and also what is happening at the time; do lots of observations—it could be a teaching situation, a bullying situation. Observe and find out if there is a particular source of anxiety for your child.”

Talk and Listen

Open the doors of communication and really listen so you understand your children’s concerns and know what is going on at school. At dinner each night, we ask our children to tell us two or three things about their day. This fosters communication and also keeps us updated on their feelings and experiences. Sue Quamme, a former school counselor

August/September 2015

and a parent educator in Fargo, says, “Have a conversation with your child and find out why he or she feels negative about school. The first thing we should do is make sure there is nothing else happening at school to cause this feeling, so try to find out the reason he or she dislikes school right now.”

Rule Out Health Concerns

Check on your child’s physical and emotional health with your health care provider to discover if there are health-related reasons your child is reluctant about school. Learning is demanding and requires consistent attention. If a child has a vision problem, is sick, overly tired, or is struggling with emotional concerns, the demands of school can be overwhelming. Quamme encourages parents to talk with a pediatrician (or other care provider) to make sure there is nothing physical or emotional that might be interfering with the learning process.

Consider Maturity Level

Determine if your child can make sound choices about her feelings for school. Or do you need to intervene? Children growing into young adulthood need the opportunity to work on their own problems, but may need adult support and guidance. Deb Theurer, parent resource coordinator in Dickinson, N.D., says, “A young person may need help to find choices that he or she could exercise within the limits of what is going on. ‘I hate school’ sounds a little powerless and frustrated, so that is a signal something is going on. Some of those things a kid can handle, while some of them will require adult assistance and guidance from others.”

Welcome Friends

Help your child cultivate friendships so he will be excited to participate in school activities. School is a social atmosphere, and children may dislike attending if they feel a lack of friendship or connection with others. Encourage your child to invite children over and support her in developing relationships outside of school. “If children have someone else they like going to school to meet and see, that will encourage them to attend school. Children need to have a confidant, a peer, a friend—even just one friend is very helpful,” says Bushaw.

Monitor Workload

Pay attention to how your child is doing with classwork, homework, and exams. Children in middle and high school are expected to be aware of class

assignments, keep up with homework, and manage these tasks effectively. When they get behind or don’t perform well, stress can build up, so they become discouraged. Talk to your child and your child’s teachers and help manage assignments and homework, or make adjustments as needed.

Watch for Learning Difficulties

Is your child being affected by any personal challenges that affect the learning process? When the work is too hard or your child doesn’t understand something, it is discouraging to participate in school. A variety of screening tools are available to assess potential obstacles to learning such as vision problems, reading difficulties (dyslexia, etc.), or attention and behavior challenges (ADD/ADHD, etc.). “Assessments for learning style, behavioral challenges, or various learning difficulties can help parents detect problems and find solutions,” says Quamme.

Forge Relationships with School Personnel

Talk to the school counselor and/or your child’s teacher to gain more insight into what he may be experiencing at school. Let them know your child could use some extra care and support for a period of time. In some cases, a child may not fit well with a teacher and a change to a different class might be needed. “Help your child build a connection with the teacher or a school counselor, so he or she has another support connection at school,” says Bushaw.

Work Together

Problem solve with your child to find solutions to the dilemma of disliking school. Instead of feeling permanently

unhappy with school, you can help your child come up with ideas on how to improve the situation. “If your child gives some suggestions, ask him or her to evaluate those options and how he or she thinks different choices would work out. If it is a problem a kid can solve, then I would try to help him or her solve it,” says Theurer. If the situation needs adult intervention, contact the teacher to get an adult perspective, but try to involve the child, if possible, in developing a solution together.

Explore Extracurriculars

Find activities at school to help your child feel interested, challenged, motivated, and accepted at school. A child may decide he “hates” school for a variety of reasons, including being bored, disconnected, or not accepted. Schools offer a variety of interesting activities and options for students, ranging from music and sports to academics and clubs. Sometimes, you need to help your children experiment with and experience some of these options. “Does your child feel he or she has a place in school—activities to engage in, peers to connect with, extracurricular options of interest? Helping your child to find these ‘connection points’ at school can make all the difference in how he or she feels about school,” says Bushaw. Every parent wants their child to have a positive experience in school and to learn from the adventures available there. When a child hates school, it ought to be a “wake-up call” that a parent’s attention, support, and intervention are needed. Sean Brotherson is a professor of human development and family science at NDSU. He lives in Fargo with his wife, Kristen, and their eight children.

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August/September 2015

MARIJ Talking to Your Kids About

August/September 2015

JUANA YOUR FAMILY z feature

nch lly Ly By Ke

“Kids should know marijuana greatly diminishes memory—it’s bad for young brains.” —Officer Jeff Nelson

The worrisome behavior signs were starting to build for Becky. Her daughter was suddenly disrespectful, mouthy, breaking the rules, and definitely displaying more “attitude” at home. This West Fargo parent says her “mom radar” was going off. But Becky had no real proof her teenage daughter was using illicit drugs. It wasn’t until her older son made a troubled call to Becky while she was away on business that the evidence became irrefutable. Becky’s daughter was using marijuana. Some people—many people—perhaps, will read that last sentence and think, “Oooohhhh, not the dreaded marijuana,” and laugh it off as an overreaction by a super-sensitive segment of ignorant society. Sergeant Mike Erbes, Fargo Police Department, says, “Many people in the community are likely to say, it’s just marijuana, but the truth remains, it is an illegal substance with harmful consequences.” An increasing number of adults and teens believe marijuana is innocuous. The latest Pew Research Center poll shows 53 percent of Americans think marijuana should be legalized. In a Minnesota Department of Health study, the perceived risk, by

youth, from regularly using marijuana has continued a steep decline since the mid-2000s. In North Dakota’s latest Youth Behavior Risk Survey, 15.9 percent of students (grades 9 through 12) had used marijuana one or more times in the last 30 days. It is the most often used illegal drug in the United States. Across the country, 23 states have legalized marijuana for medical purposes, and Oregon, Washington, Alaska, Colorado, and the District of Columbia have legalized recreational use. It seems every time you turn around another state is legalizing marijuana. In fact, industry leaders suggest within the next five to 10 years, marijuana will be a legal substance nationwide. As we progress into a time where what was once illegal becomes legal, how do we guide our children? As with so many things, the key is education. Learn all you can about marijuana so you can initiate insightful, factual, and persuasive conversations with your kids.

Marijuana basics Marijuana is a green, gray, or brown combination

of leaves, flowers, and other parts of the hemp plant—Cannabis sativa. It has a laundry list of street August/September 2015

names including pot, weed, grass, dope, bud, blunt, hash, joint, mary jane, MJ, smoke, and wax. Typically, marijuana is smoked in a cigarette-like form called a joint, or smoked in a pipe or water pipe called a bong. Some people mix marijuana into food or brew it as a tea. Others cut open a cigar and remove some of the tobacco and replace it with marijuana. This is referred to as a blunt. Marijuana can also be vaporized and is available in highly concentrated forms like wax, hash, and oil. All marijuana contains the mind-altering chemical delta-9tetrahydrocannabinol, or THC. In addition to THC, there are approximately 400 other chemicals found in the cannabis plant. Increased potency Parents need to realize this is not the pot of the past. “In the olden days, marijuana in our area used to be referred to as Mexican ditch weed,” says Erbes. “It was actually grown in ditches in Mexico, harvested, and then forced into bricks in a trash compactor.” According to Erbes, much of the marijuana currently in the Fargo area is a fresher product coming from Colorado and Washington state. “Marijuana users in previous years were likely smoking the leaves of the plant,” says Sheena Williams, LAC, an adolescent outpatient counselor with Drake Counseling Services in Fargo. “Marijuana users today are likely smoking the bud or flowering top of the plant, which is more potent.” Carol Falkowski, CEO of Drug Abuse Dialogues, is considered one of Minnesota’s foremost experts on drug abuse. “In the 1960s it was less than five percent THC, whereas now, standard grade marijuana is 12 percent to 20 percent THC,” says Falkowski. “In addition, there are new forms of marijuana including wax (80 to100 percent THC), butane hash oil (50 percent THC), and synthetic marijuana with unpredictable ingredients.”

Damaging to developing brains Research concludes that marijuana use affects brain

development. This is especially critical for teenagers, considering the human brain is not fully developed until young adulthood. When marijuana use begins in the teen years, the drug may diminish memory, thinking, and learning skills and may impede how the brain actually forms necessary connections to perform these functions. One study from 2012 indicated that people who were heavy marijuana users as teens and continued to use into adulthood had an IQ drop of as much as eight points. Officer Jeff Nelson, Moorhead Police, has been a school resource officer for 15 years. “Kids should know marijuana greatly diminishes memory—it’s bad for young brains.” Nelson relayed his encounter with a college student who had clearly used a large quantity of marijuana. “The student’s roommate had called 911 when he found his friend and thought he was comatose. Fire and police arrived. We got the student to wake up and started questioning him. He kept asking us who had let us into his apartment. We’d ask him how much he’d had to smoke. He’d answer and then ask, ‘Who let you into the apartment?’ We’d ask him something else. He’d answer and then ask, ‘Who let you into the apartment?’ The young man wasn’t trying to be cocky or argumentative or anything like that. He honestly did not remember asking the question.” 20

August/September 2015

Because marijuana stays in your system for weeks, the loss of memory and the inability to think clearly lasts long past the time when you look and feel under the influence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse outlines some of marijuana’s short-term effects: Euphoria (high). THC stimulates brain cells to release the chemical dopamine. Memory impairment. THC alters how information is processed; regular use can affect learning skills and academic achievement, including short-term memory and complex tasks requiring concentration. Adverse mental reactions in some. These include anxiety, fear, distrust, or panic—particularly in new users or those taking it in a strange setting; some may experience psychosis, which includes hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, and loss of the sense of personal identity. Tonya Sorenson has 18 years’ experience working with teens and substance abuse and is currently Director of Chemical Dependency Services at Prairie St. John’s in Fargo. “Marijuana affects your brain and cognition. Remember, your brain is still developing into your 20s; why take the risk with your future?” says Sorenson.

Addictive Repeated use of marijuana can lead to addiction. Research

indicates the younger you start using the drug, the more likely you are to become addicted. In general, one in 11 people who use marijuana will become addicted; that increases to one in six if kids start using pot in their teens. Patti Senn, Clinical Director of First Step Recovery at The Village Family Service Center in Fargo, clarifies the term addiction. “One of the 11 criteria used to determine if a person has a Substance Use Disorder is withdrawal, where a person experiences physical withdrawal if they stop regular use of a substance.” Senn explains that marijuana slowly leaves the body, and frequent marijuana users may encounter withdrawal symptoms including irritability, anxiety, mood and sleep difficulties, cravings, and overall restlessness. Marijuana metabolites can remain in your system for up to a month for regular users. “A broader interpretation of addiction is the continued use of a substance despite adverse consequences,” says Senn. “First-time users perceive the high as a positive effect; this encourages them to use again. Over time, their use progresses as their tolerance increases,” says Williams. “When adolescents continue to use marijuana compulsively, despite the negative consequences it’s creating in their lives, they are addicted.” Nelson sees students using marijuana lose interest in day-today activities like biking, baseball, family get-togethers, things that bring pleasure to most people. “Their focus becomes all about marijuana,” says Nelson. Becky will tell you marijuana is addictive. Her daughter went through months of chemical dependency treatment and, like for most addicts, it is a daily struggle. She has had to alter her social habits and leave behind many people she considered friends to maintain a sober life. Falkowski says, “The younger kids are when they start using, the more likely they will get addicted. Being addicted is a horrible thing that lasts a lifetime.” Sorenson agrees, “I have seen this throughout my career; a young person starting with me in treatment and meeting up with them, again, in adulthood.”

Continued on page 22

Gateway to other drugs People gravitate to those who have similar interests. If a

young person is hanging out with other teens smoking pot, chances are, someone in the group is using other drugs. “I have seen a lot of kids who start with THC and alcohol and then explore other chemicals—pain pills, acid, mushrooms, meth, heroin, etc.,” says Sorenson. Studies seem to indicate that while marijuana itself doesn’t necessarily lead to the use of harder drugs, those using harder drugs always include marijuana among the list of drugs they’ve used. Becky says her daughter started with marijuana and, over time, tried alcohol and many other drugs, including meth. Falkowski doesn’t mince words when asked if marijuana is a gateway drug and says, “I have yet to meet a heroin or cocaine or meth addict who did not also use marijuana.”

“the sense that marijuana use is harmless, and they will be more likely to use it.” As individual states go through the process of legalization, information blitzes take over and the public gets barraged with messages. “Media campaigns for legalizing marijuana often glorify the benefits of using, while completely neglecting to inform the public of any negative aspects,” says Williams. Becky has personally witnessed what marijuana use can do to young people and is, understandably, against legalization. “Marijuana is more harmful than people think. We just don’t know all there is to know about all the chemicals involved and their effects on the body.” Officer Nelson points to another concern of legalization: Young people will see marijuana use as OK; with medical marijuana legalization, they may consider it a “healthier” alternative to alcohol.

Legalization Experts agree the single most troubling consequence of

Start the conversation Falkowski’s advice to parents is talk early, talk often. “Make

legalizing marijuana, whether for medical purposes or for recreational use, is an increase in access. Falkowski points out that in states with medical marijuana and recreational marijuana laws, use among young people has increased. Medical dispensaries are the drug source for one-third of the marijuanausing youth—six percent have their own cards for medical marijuana dispensaries. Senn believes legalization of marijuana will lead to increased prevalence of the drug, and says it will also give young people

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August/September 2015

the message about drug use fit the maturity level of the child. Let your kids know you know about today’s drugs and if they get into trouble you’ll be there for them. There is no immunity to drugs or alcohol problems, regardless of where you live.” Communication is critical. Becky implores parents to start young and not to be afraid to introduce the topic. If you start early enough, you are the one who gets to lay the foundation of facts and information the kids carry with them. Falkowski reminds parents to listen and not lecture. Experts from Colorado say it’s more effective to explain to young people how marijuana use can limit their future opportunities— such as obtaining or keeping a driver’s license or graduating— than to go on and on about how it can damage their health. Most teenagers feel invincible when it comes to health. Many parents wonder if they should tell kids about their own marijuana use. Williams acknowledges parents know their children best and should use their own judgment to determine when to talk about drug use. “The conversation can be used as a lesson in which parents can share what they learned about substance use,” says Williams. But, she cautions, “Avoid any comments that glorify substance use.” Sorenson encourages parents to consider if their drug use is relevant. “We don’t want to give kids the impression that it is fun, everyone does it, etc. Drugs are not the same as when we were growing up.” Becky is a resilient mother who has had her share of “tough love” moments as she’s helped her troubled daughter through difficult days. She has some insightful advice for talking to your kids about marijuana. “It’s not just what you tell them, it’s how you are expressing support for them as a person. You need to initiate conversations, not to lecture them and tell them what not to do, but just to open dialogues. They need to know they can talk to you about anything, anytime—and that you’ll always be there for them.” Not since prohibition was repealed in 1933 have American parents struggled with how to educate children about a substance that transitioned from illegal to legal status. Even though the decriminalization of marijuana has yet to occur in North Dakota and Minnesota, prepare yourself and your children for what many see as inevitable. Kelly Lynch is the editor-in-chief of The Village Family Magazine. Send comments to her at magazine@ TheVillageFamily.org.

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Calendar of Events

To include your event in our family-friendly calendar, email shendricksen@TheVillageFamily.org. Deadline for the October/November calendar is August 28, 2015. Although we strive to be as accurate as possible, please call ahead to verify information, registration requirements, or event fees. Due to limited space, we are unable to include all submissions.

AUGUST 2015 EVENTS 8.1 Saturday • FM Mounted Posse Horse Show. 8 a.m., Horse Arena, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701200-6799 • Epilepsy Foundation Fundraising Walk. Registration at 8 a.m., walk at 9 a.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 • Children’s Storytime. Special guest “Spot.” 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • All Nations Community Celebration. Bring foods from your culture, share music and dance, activities for children. 4-7 p.m., Golden Ridge Lutheran Church, 730 27th St. N., Fargo, 701361-4517 or veschmidt45@msn.com

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• FM RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com • “RENT.” Presented by West Fargo Summer Arts Intensive. 7:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-3237 or www.westfargotheatre.com • “Mary Poppins.” Presented by Trollwood Performing Arts School. 8:30 p.m., Bluestem Center for the Arts, 801 50th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-477-6500 or www.trollwood.org 8.2 Sunday • FM Mounted Posse Horse Show. 8 a.m., Horse Arena, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-200-6799 • “RENT.” Presented by West Fargo Summer Arts Intensive. 2:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-3237 or www.westfargotheatre.com • FM RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 8.3 Monday • Waterama. Water games and activities. Noon-3 p.m., Clara Barton Park, 1451 6th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-4335360 or www.wfparks.org • Red River Kart Club Racing. Gates open at 5:30 p.m., hot laps at 6:30 p.m., race at 7 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www.redriverkartclub.com • FM RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 8.4 Tuesday • Moorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-7 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot,

August/September 2015

Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • Moorhead RiverArts. Concert by Slamabama, River Keepers Fishing Clinic. 5:30-8 p.m., Memorial Park, 210 8th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com 8.5 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Canoe & Kayak Rentals. 6-9 p.m., Hjemkomst Dock, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • Concert in the Park. Face painting, bouncy castle, performance by Q5. 7-8:30 p.m., Roosevelt Park, 1220 9th St. N., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 8.6 Thursday • Community Play Day. 9-11 a.m. & 1-3 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Park It. Create arts and crafts. 1-4 p.m., Madison, 3010 11th Ave. N., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Chalk Fest! 1-8 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Cruisin’ Broadway. 5-9 p.m., www.downtownfargo.com • La Leche League of Fargo-Moorhead Annual Potluck Picnic & Silent Auction. 6-8 p.m., Lindenwood Park small shelter, 1905 Roger Maris Dr., Fargo, 701-630-6336 • “RENT.” Presented by West Fargo Summer Arts Intensive. 7:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-3237 or www.westfargotheatre.com

8.7 Friday • “RENT.” Presented by West Fargo Summer Arts Intensive. 7:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-3237 or www.westfargotheatre.com 8.8 Saturday • United Way School Supply Drive Distribution. Registration forms at www. unitedwaycassclay.org/how-we-help/ education/school-supply-drive/. Bring completed registration form and ID (Social Security card, school ID, report card) for each child who needs school supplies. 8-11:30 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo • Fiber Arts Festival. Demonstrations, vendors, hands-on activities. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks. com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Canoe & Kayak Rentals. 1-5 p.m., Hjemkomst Dock, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • “RENT.” Presented by West Fargo Summer Arts Intensive. 7:30 p.m., Sheyenne High School, 800 40th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-499-3237 or www.westfargotheatre.com 8.9 Sunday • Fiber Arts Festival. Demonstrations, vendors, hands-on activities. Noon-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 8.10 Monday • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-4335360 or www.wfparks.org • Red River Kart Club Racing. Gates open at 5:30 p.m., hot laps at 6:30 p.m., race at 7 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www.redriverkartclub.com • Movie Night. Dusk, Island Park, 616 1st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com

8.11 Tuesday • Moorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-7 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot, Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-2995340 or www.moorheadparks.com • United Way School Supply Drive Distribution. Registration forms at www. unitedwaycassclay.org/how-we-help/ education/school-supply-drive/. Bring completed registration form and ID (Social Security card, school ID, report card) for each child who needs school supplies. 4-7 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo • FM RedHawks vs. Gary Southshore Railcats. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com • “Side Show.” Presented by FMCT and Spotlight on Youth. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 8.12 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Canoe & Kayak Rentals. 6-9 p.m., Hjemkomst Dock, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • Concert in the Park. Face painting, bouncy castle, performance by Ditching Delmer. 7-8:30 p.m., Brunsdale Park, 1702 27th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • FM RedHawks vs. Gary Southshore Railcats. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com • “Side Show.” Presented by FMCT and Spotlight on Youth. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 8.13 Thursday • FM Pride Events. Visit www. pridecollective.com/fmpride for details • FM RedHawks vs. Gary Southshore Railcats. 12:30 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com • Park It. Create arts and crafts. 1-4 p.m., Kennedy Park, 4501 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-4335360 or www.wfparks.org

Ever wonder how kids learn their first language?

Come help us find out! The Language Lab at NDSU is looking for study participants who are 3-6 years old. Each study involves one visit to our lab, scheduled at your convenience. All participants will receive a small gift to thank them for their help. For more information on how to be involved, contact us at the following:

701-231-5986 ndsu.languagelab@ndsu.edu http://www.ndsu.edu/centers/ cvcn/labs/conwell

August/September 2015

8.13 Thursday (continued) • Music Montage. Live music in open mic format. 6-8 p.m., Great Northern Park, 425 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Movie Night. Bring your own chairs or blankets. Dusk, Woodlawn Park, 400 Woodlawn Dr., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • “Side Show.” Presented by FMCT and Spotlight on Youth. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 8.14 Friday • FM Pride Events. Visit www.pridecollective.com/fmpride for details • “Side Show.” Presented by FMCT and Spotlight on Youth. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 8.15 Saturday • Bike MS: Sanford Health Fargo Ride. Register at www. BikeMS.org • 57th Annual Pioneer Days. Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.org • FM Pride Events. Visit www.pridecollective.com/fmpride for details • Color Vibe 5K. 9 a.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www.thecolorvibe.com/fargo.php • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

August/September 2015

• Canoe & Kayak Rentals. 1-5 p.m., Hjemkomst Dock, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com 8.16 Sunday • 57th Annual Pioneer Days. Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.org • FM Pride Events. Visit www.pridecollective.com/fmpride for details 8.17 Monday • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Doggy Dip. Dogs should have a collar/ID tags and be licensed, vaccinated, and in good health to swim. 3:30-7:30 p.m., South Park Wading Pool, 2102 14th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • ECFE in the Park. Activities for parents and children; geared for preschool and younger. 5:30-7:30 p.m., Arrowhead Park, 2600 6th Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-284-3400 • Red River Kart Club Racing. Gates open at 5:30 p.m., hot laps at 6:30 p.m., race at 7 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www.redriverkartclub.com • FM RedHawks vs. Lincoln Saltdogs. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 8.18 Tuesday • Moorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-7 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot, Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com

• 8th Annual West Fargo Parks Dog Show. 5-7:30 p.m., North Elmwood Park shelter, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • FM RedHawks vs. Lincoln Saltdogs. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 8.19 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • ECFE in the Park. Activities for parents and children; geared for preschool and younger. 2-4 p.m., Bennett Park, 302 17th St. S., Moorhead, 218-284-3400 • Corn Feed. 5:30 p.m., Prexy’s Pond, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4997 or alumni@cord.edu • Canoe & Kayak Rentals. 6-9 p.m., Hjemkomst Dock, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • FM RedHawks vs. Lincoln Saltdogs. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com

•M innesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) •C hildren’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-2811002 or www.bn.com •4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org •C anoe & Kayak Rentals. 1-5 p.m., Hjemkomst Dock, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com •B MX Jam. All skill levels can participate; helmets required. 3 p.m., Dike West Skate Park, 310 4th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com •F M RedHawks vs. Gary Southshore Railcats. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 8.23 Sunday •N D Pinto Horse Show. 8 a.m., Horse Arena, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-200-6799

8.20 Thursday • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-4335360 or www.wfparks.org • Fargo Rock Concert. All ages welcome. 7-9 p.m., Island Park, 302 7th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • FM RedHawks vs. Lincoln Saltdogs. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com

• Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • FM RedHawks vs. Gary Southshore Railcats. 1 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 8.24 Monday • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-4335360 or www.wfparks.org • Red River Kart Club Racing. Gates open at 5:30 p.m., hot laps at 6:30 p.m., race at 7 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www. redriverkartclub.com 8.25 Tuesday • Moorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-7 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot, Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-2995340 or www.moorheadparks.com 8.26 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-2811002 or www.bn.com

Protect him... even if you’re not there

8.21 Friday • Go Far Woman Events. Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo. Visit www.gofarwoman.com for details • FM RedHawks vs. Gary Southshore Railcats. Fireworks game. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com Andrew Fritz Wills Trusts Estate Planning Health Care Directives Financial Powers of Attorney

gjesdahllaw.com

8.22 Saturday • Go Far Woman Events. Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo. Visit www.gofarwoman.com for details • ND Pinto Horse Show. 8 a.m., Horse Arena, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-200-6799

Call today to discuss your estate plan

lawyers for families

701.237.3009

August/September 2015

8.26 Wednesday (continued) • Canoe & Kayak Rentals. 6-9 p.m., Hjemkomst Dock, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com 8.27 Thursday • ECFE in the Park. Activities for parents and children; geared for preschool and younger. 3-5 p.m., Queens Park, 3201 20th St. S., Moorhead, 218-284-3400 • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org 8.28 Friday • Potato Days Festival. Barnesville, Minn., 800-525-4901 or www.potatodays.com • Jurassic Quest. Life-size dinosaurs, activities for kids of all ages. 3-8 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.jurassicquest.com • Living Proof Live Women’s Event. 7 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.lifeway.com

8.29 Saturday • Potato Days Festival. Barnesville, Minn., 800-525-4901 or www.potatodays.com • Living Proof Live Women’s Event. 8:30 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.lifeway.com • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest. com (See ad pg. 26) • Jurassic Quest. Life-size dinosaurs, activities for kids of all ages. 9 a.m.-8 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.jurassicquest.com • Island Park Show. Arts and crafts festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Island Park, 302 7th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Canoe & Kayak Rentals. 1-5 p.m., Hjemkomst Dock, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com

courage critters

8.30 Sunday • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • Jurassic Quest. Life-size dinosaurs, activities for kids of all ages. 9 a.m.7 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.jurassicquest.com • Island Park Show. Arts and crafts festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Island Park, 302 7th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Streets Alive! Noon-5 p.m., event map and details at www.fmstreetsalive.org 8.31 Monday • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Red River Kart Club Racing. Gates open at 5:30 p.m., hot laps at 6:30 p.m., race at 7 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, www.redriverkartclub.com

Empower, Support, Protect & LOVE

SEPTEMBER 2015 EVENTS

Courage Critters is a program to help children stand up to common fears and unwanted behaviors.

9.1 Tuesday • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Moorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-6 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot, Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • FM RedHawks vs. New Jersey Jackals. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com

The Courage Club offers skills every child should know for a healthy body and mind. Help the child in your life by giving them a Critter today! Created by nationally recognized expert and local psychologist, Dr. Renae Reinardy.

Learn more and visit our website to order!

www.CourageCritters.com www.LakesideCenter.org

• Dance Party in the Xerzone. Open to the community; all ages welcome. 4:309:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-281-0126 or www.ymcacassclay.org

August/September 2015

9.2 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • FM RedHawks vs. New Jersey Jackals. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com

9.3 Thursday • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Cruisin’ Broadway. 5-9 p.m., www.downtownfargo.com • FM RedHawks vs. New Jersey Jackals. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 9.4 Friday • Western Minnesota Steam Threshers Reunion. Rollag, Minn., 701-212-2034 or www.rollag.com • FM RedHawks vs. New Jersey Jackals. Fireworks game. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 9.5 Saturday • Western Minnesota Steam Threshers Reunion. Rollag, Minn., 701-212-2034 or www.rollag.com • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • Children’s Storytime. Special guest “Llama Llama.” 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • FM RedHawks vs. Amarillo Thunderheads. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com

9.6 Sunday • Western Minnesota Steam Threshers Reunion. Rollag, Minn., 701-212-2034 or www.rollag.com • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • FM RedHawks vs. Amarillo Thunderheads. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 9.7 Monday • Western Minnesota Steam Threshers Reunion. Rollag, Minn., 701-212-2034 or www.rollag.com • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • FM RedHawks vs. Amarillo Thunderheads. 1 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org 9.8 Tuesday • Moorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-6 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot, Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com

The Village Counselors are here to help. In many cases, The Village’s in-office counseling (for individuals, couples, parents, and children) is covered by your health insurance. Online counseling is also available.

1201 25th St. S., Fargo • 701-451-4900 1401 8th St. S., Moorhead • 701-451-4811 www.TheVillageFamily.org August/September 2015

9.9 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • United Way Kick-Off. 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Holiday Inn, 3803 13th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-237-5050 or www.unitedwaycassclay.org 9.10 Thursday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34) • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • CCRI SuperHero 5K & SideKick Youth Run. Contact Anna at 218-331-2036 or visit www.CreativeCare.org for more info. Youth Run at 6 p.m., 5K at 6:30 p.m., Gooseberry Park, 100 22nd Ave. S., Moorhead • Music Montage. Live music in open mic format. 6-8 p.m., Great Northern Park, 425 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 9.11 Friday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34) 9.12 Saturday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34) • Ride the Red. Bike ride for Hospice of the Red River Valley. Check-in at 9 a.m., ride at 9:30 a.m., Trefoil Park, 1321 Elm St.

N., Fargo, 701-356-1524 or www.facebook.com/ridethered • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • Walk for Autism. Registration at 9 a.m., walk at 10 a.m., Aurora Elementary/Rendezvous Park, 3420 9th St. W., West Fargo, 701-277-8844 or www.ndautismcenter.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org 9.13 Sunday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34) • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • Grandparents Day at the Zoo! Free admission for grandparents. 10 a.m.-7 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org 9.14 Monday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34)

Kristen A. Garvey, Attorney, Family Law Wake Up to a New Day. At D.J. Chapman Law, we understand that life can throw you some bad pitches, that is why our new Family Law Services are here to assure you have a New Day. We counsel clients on all issues related to family and domestic law, including divorce, child custody, visitation, child support, spousal support, and protective orders. Call to make an appointment today. Wake Up to a New Day. Everyday!

www.djchapmanlaw.com

Kristen A. Garvey, Associate

1121 Westrac Drive, Suite 206 • Fargo, ND 58103 • 701.232.5899 Member of: State Bar Association of North Dakota, Minnesota State Bar Association, Association of Professional Responsibility Lawyers, American Bar Association

August/September 2015

• Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org 9.15 Tuesday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34) • Moorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-6 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot, Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com 9.16 Wednesday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34) • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 9.17 Thursday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34) • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Speak Up: FirstLink Benefit & Silent Auction. RSVP to Wendy at 701-293-6462 or wendyj@myfirstlink.org. 5-9 p.m., Hilton Garden Inn, 4351 17th Ave. S., Fargo • Attire to Inspire Fashion Show. Proceeds to benefit Dress for Success. 6-9 p.m., Courtyard by Marriott, 1080 28th Ave. S., Moorhead, 701-478-8076 or https://redrivervalley. dressforsuccess.org

9.22 Tuesday • Moorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-6 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot, Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com 9.23 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 9.24 Thursday • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org 9.26 Saturday • Fall Rummage Sale. 7 a.m.-2 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks. org • Heritage Education Commission Family History Workshop. 8 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Horizon Middle School, 3601 12th Ave. S., Moorhead, info@heritageed.com or www.heritageed.com • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • Pigs ‘n a Blanket. Quilt preview and silent auction at 10 a.m., lunch at 11 a.m.-1 p.m., live quilt auction at noon, Davies High School, 7150 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-364-0264 or www.dakotaranch.org (See ad pg. 34) • Fall Festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad below)

Fall

9.18 Friday • Greater Moorhead Days. 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com (See ad pg. 34) 9.19 Saturday • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • Fall Festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad right) • German Culture Day. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5515 or www.hcscconline.org (See ad pg. 33) • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 9.20 Sunday • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952-445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) • Fall Festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad right) • International Day of Peace Observance. Celebration of peace through music and readings. 4 p.m., Clapp Senior Center, Carlson Library, 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 218-233-3138 9.21 Monday • Farmers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org

Festival

Rheault Farm September

19-20 | 26-27 FUN FAll ActivitieS: • Pumpkin Patch • Arts & Crafts • Face Painting • Carnival Games • Straw Bale Maze • Clay County 4H Animals • Pony Rides/Horse Drawn Rides • Barrel Train Rides*

FREE ADMISSION

gAme & ride wriStbANdS $5.50

SAt 10am-5pm SUN NOON-5pm

*Sept 20, 26 & 27 oNly

For More information: 701.499.7788 • fargoparks.com

August/September 2015

9.27 Sunday •M innesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Shakopee, Minn., 952445-7361 or www.renaissancefest.com (See ad pg. 26) •F all Festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-4997788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31)

9.12 Ride the Red 9.26 Saturday (continued) • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-2811002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Fruitful Harvest in the Xerzone. Open to the community; all ages welcome. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-281-0126 or www.ymcacassclay.org

It’s YOU That Makes the ZOO! Buy Your Membership Today! • • • • •

FREE ADMISSION for the year! Special Member Only events! Admission to 150 other Zoos across the U.S. (free or discounted) Discounts on Classes and Gifts! Full color calendar each year!

www.redriverzoo.org

August/September 2015

9.28 Monday •F armers’ Market & Beyond. 3:30-6:30 p.m., South Elmwood Park parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-4335360 or www.wfparks.org 9.29 Tuesday •R oers Chili Feed for United Way. 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Roers, 200 45th St. S. #200, Fargo, 701-237-5050 or www. unitedwaycassclay.org •M oorhead Farmers’ Market. 3-6 p.m., Moorhead Center Mall parking lot, Center Ave. & 4th St. N., Moorhead, 218-2995340 or www.moorheadparks.com 9.30 Wednesday •C hildren’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-2811002 or www.bn.com

PUBLIC LIBRARIES

Call or visit the library for details. Preregistration may be required. Fargo Public Main Library 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1472 or www.fargolibrary.org •W eekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Call for details •C hess Club. Thursdays, 5:30-8:30 p.m. •B aby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies (birth-18 mos). Aug. 6 & 20, Sept. 3 & 17, 10 a.m. •S chool Supply Bingo Event. Grades 1-6. Aug. 19, 11 a.m. •L ittle Squirt Science. For preschoolers. Registration required. Sept. 10, 6:30 p.m.; Sept. 11, 11 a.m. •P AWS for Reading. Kids in grades K-6 can sign up to read to a therapy pet. Sept. 12, 1 p.m. •O ne Book, One Community Event: Photographer Sarah Christianson. Sept. 17, 7 p.m. •C ultural Exploration of the Country of Somalia. All ages. Sept. 20, 2 p.m. •C urrent History Book Club. Sept. 29, 7 p.m.

Dr. James Carlson Library 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-476-4040 or www.fargolibrary.org • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Call for details • Tea Time Book Club. Aug. 3 & 31, 6:30 p.m. • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies (birth-18 mos). Aug. 6 & 20, Sept. 3 & 17, 10 a.m. • Free Friday Movie. Aug. 14, 1 p.m. • School Supply Bingo Event. Grades 1-6. Aug. 18, 2 p.m. • Little Squirt Science. For preschoolers. Registration required. Sept. 10, 11 a.m. • One Book, One Community Event: Screening of “The Overnighters.” Sept. 11, 1 p.m. Northport Branch 2714 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-476-4026 or www.fargolibrary.org • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Call for details • School Supply Bingo Event. Grades 1-6. Aug. 18, 11 a.m. • Northport Classic Book Club. Sept. 16, 6:30 p.m. West Fargo Public Library 109 3rd St. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5460 or www.westfargolibrary.org • Children’s Simply Stories. Tuesdays, 10:15 a.m. • Children’s Storytime & Craft. For preschoolers and their caretakers. Tuesdays, 1:30-2 p.m. • Friday Morning Movies. Fridays, 10:30 a.m. • Read to a Therapy Dog. Call to sign up • Movie Showing: “6 Brothers—A Story of Hope, Loss, and Perseverance on the Northern Plains.” Aug. 4, 1 p.m. • Origami Hour. Grades 3-8. Aug. 3, 2-3 p.m. • Teacups Book Club. Aug. 10 & Sept. 14, 7 p.m. • Lego Mania. Open to all ages. Aug. 13, 6-7:30 p.m. • New Release Movies. Aug. 15, Sept. 12 & 26, 2 p.m. • Folded-Paper Cards for National Senior Citizen’s Day. Registration required. Aug. 17, 1 p.m. • Homework Center Back to School Night. Open to kids, parents, and care providers. Aug. 17, 5-8 p.m. • Movie Showing: “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Sept. 8, 1 p.m.

• Bones in Your Backyard. Paleontology event. Sept. 10, 1 p.m. for preschoolers, 6:30 p.m. for school-age kids • Marshmallow Engineering. Registration required. Sept. 21, 2-3 p.m. • Rock Necklaces. Grades 5-8. Sept. 29, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Moorhead Public Library 118 5th St. S., Moorhead, 218-233-7594 or www.larl.org • Open Computer Practice. Mondays, 2 p.m. • Origami Club. All ages and abilities welcome. Mondays, 6:30 p.m. • Storytime Plus. Stories, songs, poems, craft. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. • Baby Bounce. For infants-preschoolers and their caregivers. Thursdays, 10:15 a.m. • Art at the Rourke. Aug. 5, 2 p.m. • Growing from the STEM. Aug. 12, 2 p.m. • Lego Club. All ages and abilities welcome. Aug. 13 & Sept. 10, 6-8 p.m.; Aug. 22 & Sept. 26, 2-4 p.m. • Movie Matinee. Aug. 15 & Sept. 19, 2 p.m. • Classics Book Club. Aug. 18 & Sept. 15, 7 p.m. • Yarn Circle. Bring your knitting, crocheting, or needlework projects. Open to all ages and experience levels. Aug. 27 & Sept. 24, 6:30 p.m. • Moo! Storywalk. Sept. 3, 2 p.m., Woodlawn Park, Moorhead • Adult Book Club. Sept. 17, 7 p.m. • American Girl Book Club. Sept. 21, 4 p.m. • One Book, One Community Documentary Screening: “The Overnighters.” Sept. 26, 2 p.m.

8.28 & 8.29 Potato Days Festival Fraser, Ltd. 2902 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org • CPR/First Aid Hospice of the Red River Valley 800-237-4629 or www.hrrv.org • Grieve On! Grieving in a Life-Goes-On World • Living with Dementia Moorhead Parks & Recreation 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • Red River Paddling Excursions Parenting Resource Center 701-241-5700 or www.ag.ndsu.edu/casscountyextension/homeand-family • Nurturing Parenting Program • Parents Forever

CLASSES

Call for information. Pre-registration may be required. Creatively Uncorked www.creativelyuncorked.com • Creatively Kids Essentia Health OB Education 3000 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-8100 or www.essentiahealth.org • Basic Training for New Dads • Breastfeeding Class • Car Seat Safety • Lamaze • Mom’s Helpers • Tender Transitions Fargo Park District 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Accelerated Artists • Create & Explore FM Ambulance 701-364-1750 or www.fmambulance.com/education • BLAST Babysitting Course • CPR/AED • First Aid FM Fencing Club 701-630-8402 or www.fmfencing.com • Intro to Fencing

August/September 2015

Red River Zoo 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Youth Camps Sanford Health Community Education 701-234-5570, 877-234-4240 or www.sanfordhealth.org • Baby Signs • Baby’s First Ride • Better Choices, Better Health • Birth Basics • Birthing with Confidence • Breastfeeding Beginnings • Caring for Your Newborn • C.A.R.S. (Children & Restraint Systems) • Family & Friends CPR • Infant Massage • Labor Skills • Our Family is Having a Baby • Safe & Sound – Preparing Your Home for Baby The Village Family Service Center 701-451-4900 or www.TheVillageFamily.org • Mindfulness

The Village Financial Resource Center 701-235-3328 or www.HelpWithMoney.org • Bankruptcy Education • Homebuyer Education • Tenant Education

The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org Concordia College Cyrus M. Running Gallery 901 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4623

YMCA 701-293-9622, 701-281-0126 or www.ymcacassclay.org • Diving Camp • Guys & Gals Program • Healthy Family Home • Intro to Yoga Workshop • Nutrition Seminar • Swim Camp • Yoga in the Park • Youth Camps

Fargo Air Museum 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www.fargoairmuseum.org Historical & Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or vwww.hcscconline.org MSUM Art Gallery Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2930

MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS

Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org

Call for additional information.

Cass County Historical Museum 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com

The Rourke Art Museum 521 Main Ave., Moorhead, 218-236-8861 or www.therourke.org

Pigs ‘n a Blanket 2015 Saturday, September 26

Davies High School, Fargo: 7150 25 Street South 10 a.m. Quilt Preview & Silent Auction 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. Lunch: $7/person; $12 families of 3+ Noon Live quilt auction 1 p.m. Silent Auction closes

Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch

We help at-risk children and their families succeed in the name of Christ. Proceeds benefit children ages 10-18 in our statewide residential programs.

We would love to include your quilt!

To learn how: Call: 701.364.0264 Email: c.isom@dakotaranch.org Visit: www.dakotaranch.org and click on “Events”

August/September 2015

BOBCAT  TITLE SPONSOR

CO-SPONSOR

A GREAT GOLF EVENT HELPING KIDS AND FAMILIES BUILD A BRIGHTER FUTURE.

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@BobcatNDOpen #BobcatNDOpen

YOUR FAMILY z celebration

How to Design a Recovery-Friendly Get-Together By Tammy Noteboom

August/September 2015

Alcohol has become a staple of neighborhood, friend, and family gatherings in our society. Need to relax? It’s time for a drink. Want to celebrate? Must be time for a drink. Want to hang out with friends? Yep, grab another drink. This is all good, until you have a friend who chooses not to drink, or a friend who goes through substance abuse treatment and quits drinking. How do you plan a party that will make both your drinking and non-drinking friends feel comfortable? The first thing you need to know, according to Patti Senn, Clinical Director of First Step Recovery at The Village Family Service Center in Fargo, is that “you are the host, so you get to decide the kind of party you’re going to have. Then, it’s the responsibility of your guests to decide if it’s a gathering they are comfortable attending.” That said, you still want to make all of your friends feel included. Here are some ways to plan a recovery-friendly party. 1. Provide plenty of non-alcoholic alternatives like soda and water. 2. Make it a kid-friendly event. Inviting kids to the party changes the tone and most people won’t drink excessively. Senn says, “Having an ‘adults only’ party sometimes gives people permission to misbehave.” 3. Plan a theme party. Have a “Decade of the 60s” party—ask everyone to dress up as their favorite TV character from the 60s and play 60s music. Or host a “Game Night”—set board games up around the house and encourage people to play them. Anything you can do where drinking isn’t the main theme will change the tone of the party. 4. Have a morning or afternoon party. Inviting everyone over for breakfast or lunch sets a different tone. 5. Ask your guests to bring their own beverages. This makes it OK for a person in recovery to bring their own non-alcoholic drinks. 6. Don’t make a big deal about someone who doesn’t drink. The last thing your friend wants is for you to draw everyone’s attention to the fact that they’re not drinking. If you don’t say anything, most people won’t even notice. 7. If someone at the party decides to leave, don’t pester them or plead with them to stay. Let them leave without asking a lot of questions.

The Anonymous

People

“If you say ‘no alcohol’ and someone isn’t comfortable with that, they can choose to stay home.” 8. Abstain from drinking yourself. It’ll be a nice gesture for your friend. It’s always easier to do something when you’re not the only one. 9. Have an alcohol-free party. It might seem like an extreme step, but it’s your party so you get to make the decisions. Senn says, “If you say ‘no alcohol’ and someone isn’t comfortable with that, they can choose to stay home.” It is important to remember the person in recovery is making daily decisions to support and protect their recovery, so if you do everything you can and your friend still chooses not to attend, don’t take it personally. Sometimes, especially early in recovery, it’s just too difficult to be around people who are drinking. Most people in recovery want the people around them to go on doing their own thing—they understand that just because alcohol is problem for them doesn’t mean it’s a problem for everyone. They’ll be grateful you included them in the invitation, and sometime down the road they may feel comfortable attending your next get-together. Tammy Noteboom is the director of Communications for The Village Family Service Center.

First Step Recovery is holding a free screening of “The Anonymous People” on Sept. 24, 7 p.m., at the Fargo Theatre. “The Anonymous People” is a documentary about the more than 23 million Americans living in long-term recovery from addiction to alcohol and other drugs. The documentary will be followed by a panel discussion about the film. Watch the film trailer at http:// theanonymouspeople.com. For more information, contact First Step Recovery at 701-293-3384.

CHANGING THE ADDICTION

CONVERSATION FROM PROBLEMS TO SOLUTIONS

FREE COMMuNItY-wIDE SCREENING

FARGO thEAtRE

SEPtEMBER 24, 2015

• 7:00 P.M.

The Anonymous People is a feature documentary film about the more than 23 million Americans living in long-term recovery from addiction to alcohol and other drugs.

The moving story of The Anonymous People is told through the faces and voices of citizens, leaders, volunteers, corporate executives, public figures, and celebrities who are laying it all on the line to save the lives of others just like them.

FREE SCREENING MADE POSSIBLE BY:

www.FirstStep-Recovery.com

www.theVillageFamily.org

Movie Trailer: http://theanonymouspeople.com • Call 701-293-3384 for more information.

August/September 2015

See a Doctor and Stay Right Where You Are. Video visits available only at Sanford Health

Your calendar fills up fast. Work obligations. Family celebrations. School plays. Basketball games. But what about when you’re sick? How do you make time for a visit to the doctor with so much to do? Now you don’t have to worry with video visits offered at Sanford Health. When those coughs, colds, aches, pains or rashes strike, all you need is your computer, tablet or smart phone, and an Internet connection, to see a provider. So stay at home, at work, or even in the parking lot in your car and get a care plan from one of our expert providers. And just like an in-clinic office visit, a video visit will be documented in your My Sanford Chart for complete continuity of care. Here’s how it works: 1. If you do not already have a My Sanford Chart account, now’s the time. Anyone requesting a video visit must first have an active account. In North Dakota, you must have established primary care with Sanford as well. 2. Once in your My Sanford Chart account, find the icon to request a video visit. 3. Answer several questions about your health concerns and availability and one of our providers will review the information and decide if a video visit is appropriate. 4. The nurse will respond within 15 minutes through My Sanford Chart to either set up a video visit or ask you to come into the clinic for an office visit. And that’s it. As long as the provider feels a video visit is appropriate for your situation, you will log in at the time set. The provider is then alerted and will see you. While we want to provide all of our patients with the highest level of convenience, the highest quality of care

always comes first. So if the provider is unable to treat your concern through a video visit, you will be asked to come in to the clinic. “Sanford Health is committed to not only providing our patients with unmatched expertise for their health, but also unmatched conveniences to meet the demands of their busy lives,” says Allison W. Suttle, MD, chief medical

information officer at Sanford Health. “Video visits are one of many ways we are helping you have more control of your time and how you manage your health.” Learn more at sanfordhealth.org/ videovisit.

Video Visits Are Available: Monday-Friday, 7 a.m.-9 p.m. Weekends, 8 a.m.-7 p.m. To patients ages 18 or older with a My Sanford Chart account*

*Video visits are available to existing patients in North Dakota, and both new and current patients in South Dakota, Iowa and Minnesota.

CHANGING THE ADDICTION

CONVERSATION FROM PROBLEMS TO SOLUTIONS

FREE COMMuNItY-wIDE SCREENING

FARGO thEAtRE

SEPtEMBER 24, 2015

• 7:00 P.M.

The Anonymous People is a feature documentary film about the more than 23 million Americans living in long-term recovery from addiction to alcohol and other drugs.

FREE SCREENING MADE POSSIBLE BY:

www.FirstStep-Recovery.com

www.theVillageFamily.org

Movie Trailer: http://theanonymouspeople.com • Call 701-293-3384 for more information.

YOUR FAMILY z consumer

By Megan Bartholomay

f someone said you could improve your health by sitting on the couch, you’d want to know more, right? Well, the answer could be the purring furball or the drooling pooch sitting next to you. Some of the perks of owning a pet are well known; there is, of course, unconditional love and constant companionship, but there are other health-related benefits. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, pet ownership can actually decrease your blood pressure, cholesterol, and triglyceride levels as well as help to increase your frequency of outdoor activities and improve socialization. It can also aid in combating feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety and even help fight against the development of allergies and asthma. But it comes with a price. Pet ownership in the U.S. is at an all-time high and has tripled since the 1970s. The Humane Society estimates there are 83 million dogs and 96 million cats personally owned in the U.S. This begs the question, just HOW much is that doggie (or kitten, hamster, bunny, lizard, guinea pig) in the window,

August/September 2015

let alone the free kitten from Nana’s farm? From the cost of the actual animal, to set-up fees, vet visits, grooming, and food, the price of your average four-legged friend can easily run upward of $10,000 over their life span. Jared Eide, store manager of PetSmart in West Fargo, has been around animals his entire life. He took his first job out of high school at the now defunct Dakota Tropicals and went on to head up the specialty department at Petco, until landing his job at PetSmart in 2005. The quintessential “pet guy,” Eide has owned his share of dogs, cats, iguanas, chinchillas, and fish. He currently has an English bulldog named Roxy and a green cheek conure named Carl. “The first thing I tell people when they’re thinking about getting a pet is to sleep on it.” Eide says doing research on the cost and care of an animal and taking time to digest that information can help prevent problems in the future. “It may look cute and fuzzy in the store, but it will be shredding your pillows and digging in your yard.” The major reasons people get rid of their pets are bad behavior and

atlas

For many, pet ownership is something akin to having a child.

comet with adler

darwin with anja

misunderstanding the costs and time commitment required. “It’s not that they don’t love them; it usually comes down to, ‘Can I get a tank of gas or feed my dog?’” Eide says if you’re unsure about pet ownership or concerned about costs, look at less expensive options or animals with shorter life spans like tropical fish, hamsters, or guinea pigs. “I like to recommend tropical fish for kids. They’re a great teaching tool for biology and chemistry.” He says smaller pets, who generally have shorter life spans, are also a great way to teach younger kids about the death of an animal, which can be more traumatizing with a dog or cat. Eide recommends adoption, since those are the animals that need homes the most, and he warns against buying animals from unknown sources. The prevalence of puppy and kitten mills in the U.S. is growing, so if you don’t know exactly who the breeder is, you could be unwittingly contributing to animal mistreatment, or you may end up with a sickly pet who is susceptible to myriad health problems. Carol Stefonek, co-founder and co-director of CATS Cradle Shelter, a no-kill, cats-only shelter in Fargo, sees pet adoption as a great option to purchasing. With the help of other area organizations, the shelter, which opened in 2011, has dropped the number of euthanized, adoptable cats from roughly 600 a year to zero—impressive by any standard! Through their rescue, education, and adoption program, CATS Cradle takes in more than 500 cats and kittens a year, hoping to find adoptable, forever homes for them. They have some fairly rigorous adoption requirements. Candidates are intensely interviewed by staff. “We go by our gut feeling,” says Stefonek, “and the main requirement is, do you have enough love?” Adoption fees at CATS Cradle are $109 and include a FeLV/ FIV test, deworming, distemper and rabies vaccinations, spay/ neuter, and a microchip.

Vet Costs

Raina Wagner, vet appointment assistant and head receptionist at Animal Health Clinic, Fargo, has been an animal

lover her whole life and says regular vet checks are a must. “All pets should have at least a yearly visit. Pets that are sick or have health issues need to be seen fairly regularly, for medication, to make sure nothing serious has changed with their health.” Wagner says that while costs range for different services, it’s something people need to plan for when bringing a pet into their family. At Animal Health Clinic, a typical wellness exam is just over $50 and includes a thorough check-up of the animal’s general health, weight, heart rate, and temperature. “Vaccinations vary depending on what your pets need and what their exposure risks are,” says Wagner. For example, an indoor cat will need different vaccines than an outdoor cat; dogs usually require a wider array of vaccines. Basic vaccinations run from about $20 to $40 per vaccine. Responsible pet owners will have their animals spayed or neutered. Vets generally require a wellness exam before surgery, and again, costs vary based on age and size of the animal and other surgical options available. Basic costs for a canine spay/ neuter for a puppy under eight months and less than 25 pounds range from $220 to $290, and for cats, spay/neuter costs range from $200 to $300.

Boarding, Pet Sitting, and Daycare Costs

So, what happens to your sweet pet when you get invited to Cousin Sally’s wedding in Florida or when you know there won’t be anyone to feed or play with your pet during the day? Luckily, there are several pet care options. Let’s start with boarding. Most boarders, also referred to as pet hotels, have private accommodations based on a daily or overnight rate. Generally, these places only offer services to cats and dogs and structure their prices accordingly. Local rates range from $14 to $22 a night for dogs and $12 to $15 for cats. Some boarders August/September 2015

Reader-Submitted pet photos!

comet

angel

winston

booker benj

chewy 42

August/September 2015

eva

benny

jaid

Dogs, Cats, and Rabbits Average cost: Approximately $1,000 per year.

Lifespan: Small Dogs—13 to 16 years Medium Dogs—10 to 12 years Large Dogs—8 to 9 years Cats—15 to 20 years Rabbits—8 to 12 years

Guinea Pigs

Average cost: Approximately $600 per year. Lifespan: 5 to 7 years

Hamster

Average cost: Approximately $300 per year. Lifespan: 2 to 3 years have daycare rates (mostly for dogs), which range from $15 for a half day to $25 for a full day, with discounts for multiple days. Boarding your pet isn’t always an option. Some animals don’t tolerate the social aspect of boarding or simply do not do well outside their home. Chad Jacobson, owner of Pioneer Pet Services, started an in-home pet sitting business in 2006 along with his wife, Roxanna. They not only come to the client’s home, they also cater to a wider array of animals than traditional boarders. Jacobson says they’ll pretty much consider any small domestic pet. “Dogs and cats, of course, rabbits, tortoises, fish, birds, snakes, and ferrets. We even had a guy who asked if we’d care for his caiman, which is a small crocodile.” Jacobson charges per visit and spends 15 to 20 minutes on feeding, potty break, meds, and playtime. Jacobson charges a per visit/per day fee; his rates are $14 for one visit, $27 for two, $39 for three, and $50 for four.

bath-giving, you may have to call a professional. John Shipley and Tina Bratton handle the grooming at PetSmart in West Fargo. Shipley says, “Depending on the dog, they should be groomed every six to eight weeks,” and stresses the importance of clipping nails—they get hard to trim after a certain length. Bratton emphasizes the need for grooming in longer-haired breeds. “People don’t realize how painful matting is for an animal. Matts pull on hair and can cause pain and even tear at the skin,” says Bratton. Estimates for basic grooming for dogs run $40 to $60 depending on the size of the dog and include a basic shampoo, nail trim, ear cleaning, and anal gland expression. Cat grooming varies in price and depends on the behavior of the cat.

Time Costs

There is a financial cost involved in pet ownership, but before becoming a pet owner, you must also consider the time costs. There is the day-to-day time it takes to care for a pet, but there is also the life span of responsibility, as well. Some animals can live for decades, and much of it has to do with the care the animal receives. On average, cats can live 15 to 20 years, dogs from eight to 16 years (depending on the breed), rabbits up to 12 years, guinea pigs up to seven years, exotic birds up to 90 years (you read that right!), lizards up to 20 years, snakes 20 to 30 years, and tortoises up to 100 years (in very ideal circumstances). That means, if you decided to get a kitten your freshman year of college, you could be well into your 30s when he goes over the “rainbow bridge.” In addition, experts say the amount of time you spend with your pet will directly affect its behavior and ability to

albus socialize with people and other animals. And while each animal has its own set of unique time needs, almost every pet should be held, hugged, played with, and exercised multiple times a day, every day. For many, pet ownership is something akin to having a child. Costs have to be considered, time commitment and lifestyle need to be taken into account. Eide and Stefonek both agree the most important thing to remember when getting an animal is that it is a lifelong commitment and not something to be entered into lightly. If you’re considering a pet, do the research, crunch some numbers, and then decide if taking or leaving that doggie in the window is the best choice for both of you. For most pet owners, the benefits far outweigh the costs. A North Dakota native, Megan Bartholomay is a freelance writer and editor with an addiction to grammar, cats, wine, and good food. She lives in downtown Fargo with her husband, Mike, and their bevy of fuzzy babies.

Grooming Costs

Rub-a-dub-dub, three cats in a tub. Well, maybe not. But in truth, all animals, even those that groom themselves, can use a little sprucing up from time to time. Pet grooming, especially for dogs, is an often overlooked necessity, and major cost, of pet ownership. Unless you’re wellversed in the art of nail clipping, anal expression, claw trimming, or August/September 2015

ADOLESCENCE

GRIEF SUPPORT

Community Education Programs Manager Reach One Teach One North Dakota

Bereavement Manager Hospice of the Red River Valley

Katie Christensen, MS

Q:When should I talk to my child about puberty?

Children need basic information about their bodies, especially when it comes to puberty. Learning everything at once could be overwhelming. Instead, try to have many conversations over time before puberty begins. When children know what to expect, they tend to be more comfortable with the changes. Look for teachable moments to start a conversation. For instance, on the car ride home from the store, ask your child why you purchased deodorant. This topic can lead to discussing other changes, plus it gives the opportunity to talk about the responsibilities that come with caring for your body. Although it might feel awkward at first, children want this information from their parents. If you’re able to have an open and honest conversation about puberty, your child will be more likely to discuss other topics in the future such as dating. For more information on workshops or resources for parents, please contact our office.

Wendy Tabor-Buth

loved one passed away, and I’m struggling to Q:My cope with my grief. What resources are available?

When grief enters our lives, our world changes. Grief impacts each individual differently. Just as every loss is unique, the grieving experience is different with each loss. We grieve according to our needs, and those needs continually change. Most of us need information and support to deal with loss. Hospice of the Red River Valley’s bereavement department includes specialists who provide support groups, end-of-life education, presentations and individual sessions. They also offer literature, resources and referrals as needed. Even if your loved one was not cared for by Hospice of the Red River Valley, we offer a variety of services to help individuals cope with loss through death.

Hospice of the Red River Valley (800) 237-4629 www.HRRV.org

Reach One Teach One North Dakota 624 Main Ave., Suite 9, Fargo 701-526-0725 www.PPMNS.org/ReachOneTeachOneND

ASK A COUNSELOR

MENTORING

Outpatient Services Program Director ShareHouse, Inc.

Recruitment Specialist Big Brothers Big Sisters

Jeremy Traen, LSW, LAC, LADC

Q: A:

What does your outpatient program look like?

We have several levels of care in our outpatient facility. The ranges of group treatment hours a week are traditionally twenty hours, otherwise nine, six, three, and one hour. All groups focus on a discovery process in relation to the individual’s substance use through different assignments. Other than the three and the one hour a week groups, there is weekly education regarding finances, medical care from nursing staff, mental health, 12 Step speakers, music therapy, family dynamics, and more. The three and one hour groups are mainly for people stepping down from higher levels of care and focus more on continued recovery. All attendees of these groups have free individual access to one of our nurses and case managers as well. We also provide a 16 Hour Risk Reduction Seminar, often but not always recommended to first time DUI offenders.

ShareHouse, Inc. 701-282-6561 www.ShareHouse.org

Shane Mercer

Q:Am I “cool” enough to be a mentor?

The thought of working with a young person can be intimidating for some people. Let’s face it, it’s been a loooooong time since you were a child. You may not feel like you’re “cool” enough. But being a mentor isn’t as much about being “cool” as it is about being present—being there—for a child. And that sends a strong message: “You’re important to me. You have significance.” Children are hardwired to look up to adults, in part, because they need role models after which they can pattern their own behavior and attitudes. Think about the people you looked up to when you were growing up. I remember those people in my own life. They were like superheroes to me. Now it’s your turn! So, instead of being “cool” or “hip,” just be…there.

Big Brothers Big Sisters 808 3rd Ave. S., Suite 101, Fargo 701-451-4877 www.BBBSFargo.org

YOUR FAMILY z food & fun

Great Granola

Bars

• 3 cups quick cooking oats • 1 can sweetened condensed milk (14 oz.) • ¾ cup M&M’s minis • ¾ cup mini chocolate chips • 2 Tbsps melted butter • Non-stick cooking spray • Wax paper (optional) Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray. In a medium bowl, thoroughly mix all the ingredients together. Spread the mixture onto the cookie sheet. Flatten it well with your hands. (Either dampen your hands to keep them from sticking or place the wax paper on top of the mixture and press down well.) Bake for 20 minutes, until just slightly golden. Remove from the oven and allow to cool somewhat before cutting into bars. Store in an airtight container.

Handprint crab • Construction paper • Red paint • Paintbrush • Googly eyes • Cotton balls • Crayons • Glue Color a sandy beach at the bottom of the construction paper. Paint the palms of your child’s hands red. Have them make handprints side by side, thumbs up and fingers out to the side, just above the strip of sand. Glue googly eyes on the tips of the thumb prints to make the crab’s eyes. Glue cotton balls at the top of the construction paper to make cloudes. (Submitted by: Toddler I Room at Nokomis I)

Callie, Age 2

Dry Erase Chore Chart or Weekly Calendar

• Frame (5x7 or 8x10) • Pencil • Scissors

• Paper • Dry erase marker • Dry eraser (optional)

Use a computer to design your own chart or calendar (templates available at www.mindirae.wordpress.com) and print out. Another option: Use colorful or decorative scrapbook paper as a background for a blank dry erase board. Place paper design-side up on table. Lay glass from the frame on top. Trace around the edge of the glass onto paper and cut out. Insert glass into the frame, followed by the paper, followed by the frame back. Your new chore chart or weekly calendar is ready to use! Write directly onto the glass with a dry erase marker. Clean glass with dry eraser or paper towel. Craft courtesy of local blogger Mindi Larson, www.mindirae.wordpress.com. April/May 2015

YOUR FAMILY z words & wisdom

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more.

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.

—Jules Renard

A man must have a certain amount of intelligent ignorance to get anywhere.

When you forgive, you heal your own anger and hurt and are able to let love lead again. It’s like spring cleaning for your heart. —Marci Shimoff

One day, a long time from now, you’ll cease to care anymore whom you please or what anybody has to say about you. That’s when you’ll finally produce the work you’re capable of. —J.D. Salinger 46

August/September 2015

—Mencius

—Charles F. Kettering

Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing well those you do hold. —Josh Billings

I get by with a little help from my friends. —The Beatles Happy Grandparents Day, Sunday, September 13

Because (grandparents) are usually free to love and guide and befriend the young without having to take daily responsibility for them, they can often reach out past pride and fear of failure and close the space between generations. —Jimmy Carter

ONLY AT SANFORD

Brian Tjarks, MD

HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THAT COUGH? Stay where you are and still see one of our expert providers for any acute, non-emergent primary care need and receive a care plan. So when those coughs, colds, rashes, aches or pains strike, get your questions answered and put your mind at ease with this new convenience in care. Video visits are available to current Sanford patients seven days a week through My Sanford Chart, or online at sanfordhealth.org/videovisit. Choose connected care. Choose Sanford.

039038-00027 6/15