Good Energy
By: Ashley Uzer
Getting Rejected By A Dude From Planet of the Apes, And Dating in LA as an East Coast Girl It’s around 8:30 PM on a Sunday night, and the guy I just went on a first date with is currently holding my trash bags while I strut around the home supplies aisle at Ralph’s. I couldn’t carry the trash bags myself, because I’m currently cradling a 12-count of toilet paper. For all the east coasters, Ralph’s is the standard LA grocery store for the non-boujie of us that can’t afford Erewhon. For all the people wondering what kind of person would invite their date to accompany them on a toilet paper grocery run...nice to meet you. I’m Ashley, and I just moved to LA about a month ago. Most girls seem to hate LA’s dating scene, saying the guys are all fuckboys or divas that expect girls to “work” for them. I’ve noticed LA guys are much less likely to ask for a second date when there clearly was no chemistry on the first. On one hand, this could mean they’re not “working” for it enough, but on the other, I think this just saves us both a lot of time. There’s also the blind confidence of some of the men here, like the stereotypical stoner bro who said he saw me walking down the street in my The Doors t-shirt and whipped his car around to come talk to me by knocking on my car window in the parking lot (yes, I went out with him and yes, he sells weed for a living). But it’s not the same blind, almost rape-y confidence of east coast guys. East coast men seem to be more like, “I know you said you don’t want to go to dinner with me, but maybe if I invite you to Tao (or Miami) for the fifth time, you’ll decide to say yes.” LA guys, in my experience thus far, are more like, “I’m going to shoot my shot because you have “good energy,” but every step of the way I’m going to check in and make sure you’re still into what’s going on. If not, I’m not going to try to convince you.” The “you have good energy” thing seems to be how guys say “I like your tits” in LA-lingo. Those same guys may also ask for your horoscope sign and Google your compatibility seconds after your first date. I always thought the idea of using “what’s your sign?” as a pick-up line was a joke, but I think literally every date I’ve gone on since moving to LA has involved me disclosing my horoscope sign (scorpio, BTW). Countless other interactions have involved guys trying to guess my horoscope sign—whether it occured in an Uber 11
