4 minute read
Reheated Coffee
by Amanda Jackman
Mountain of Motherhood
God is the God of the reheated coffee in the microwave. He’s also the God of the laundry piled up in the living room. He’s the God of all our challenges and our disappointments. He’s the God of our victories and the God of our valley seasons. He reigns as our Lord and Savior through any earthly situation we may face. He’s the God of infertility. He’s the God of abundance. He is the God of His promises.
As I write this article, I’m feeling extremely vulnerable. I have been feeling very sick and not quite myself lately. God has blessed my husband and me with another baby, and I am feeling full force the effects of a first trimester. This will be our sixth child in eight years. We have also experienced four miscarriages. So I’m sitting in a familiar place of pregnancy where I’ve spent the majority of the last decade of my life.
My memories take me back to when I told my dad that I was pregnant for the first time at the age of 25. I was scared, terrified, and consumed with worry over whether or not I would be a good mother. He told me such a simple statement I’ve repeated over and over during the last nine years. “Every baby is a blessing.” My dad passed away the day after my oldest child was born; he didn’t get the opportunity to meet any of my five children earth side, so I’ve only heard him say it once—but it is always the first thing I hear when I see two pink lines indicating a pregnancy.
So today I began considering the logistics of what it will look like having six children, planning to buy a 12-passenger transit van just to be able to fit my family in one vehicle, and briefly forgetting to trust God, who has ordered our steps. I think about how so many in the Bible forgot to trust God in difficult moments: Eve, Moses, Abraham, Sarah, David, Elijah and the twelve disciples.
There are so many verses, chapters, and Psalms about trusting in God. It makes me wonder why it’s so easy to forget to fully trust in our Creator, who works all things for His glory.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV).
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe (Proverbs 29:25 NIV).
Whether in the valley or on the mountaintops, the enemy is still looking to devour. In the book of John, we are told of his intentions.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10 NIV).
I have felt robbed of joy in so many life-changing moments. So many times, I have felt robbed of excitement only to be flooded with worry. This is how the enemy works on me; I imagine he works his way into many other mothers the same way. We are all trying to be warriors for Christ. The only way we can do this is to lay it all at the cross and trust God, who is using all things for His glory and goodness.
So I can choose to be stressed over a van, or I can shout for joy that my God trusts me to bring another disciple into our household. I’m not ever sure what I have done to be so deserving of His favor and goodness, but it is never taken lightly. I know this path of motherhood is where I’m meant to be, and I will continue to devote myself fully to it, showing the heart of Jesus to my children and allowing a ripple effect to take place in their lives as they show the heart of Jesus to those around them.
Even on the mountaintop, the enemy is looking to devour. May we always look up to Christ to be our comfort in any day and hour.
Amanda Jackman is from the small town of Imlay City, Michigan. She and her husband, Brad, have five children under the age of 8. She has a Paralegal Studies Degree and enjoys reading and writing. She loves the busy life of being a wife and mother of five.
