Nº 152 Monthly
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IN MY OPINION
Looking back, what’s ahead?
THE PRICKLY PAIR
Do you know how to suck eggs?
Falling Prices & Golden Opportunities Costa del Sol & Gibraltar Edition
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editor page Editorial feedback and enquiries: editor@webexpressguide.com Website www.webexpressguide.com www.directorycostadelsol.com www.directorymarbella.com www.wxpg.com www.directorygibraltar.com Director / Admin Julia H. Gladstone Advertising enquiries: 0034 629 504 003 Contributors Julia Gladstone, Elisabeth Da Costa Almirón BUPA, The Prickly Pair, Richard Alexander, COCOMO, Sebastian Polinares, Count De La Perrelle, Chevalier De Fleuri, Giselle Beck-Davies Publishers WXPG Portazine S.L. C.I.F. Nº B-92889245 under licence by E. Gladstone WEB EXPRESS GUIDE © Sabinillas (29692) Spain Tel: +34 952 891 773 Mobile: +34 629 504 003 Universal Copyright Registered © 2013 Edwin Gladstone No material contained in this publication may be reproduced or published without the written consent of the publisher. No responsibility is taken for claims made by advertisers; nor are the views expressed in the editorial columns necessarily the views of the publishers. Do not forget to see us online. www.webexpressguide.com Please send any comments to editor@webexpressguide.com Express your own view at the end of each article online. PLEASE TELL ADVERTISERS YOU HAVE SEEN THEM IN WEB EXPRESS GUIDE. THANK YOU. Your own personal hard copy can be posted to you each month for €20 per year.
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editor
That’s it! Summer is over and so is the parking nightmare. Residents to the Costa are back and schools start. This seems to be a frightening thought for some businesses who believe that the end of summer means though times ahead and start cutting down on advertising and other costs. I suppose this is when the employment figures take a downturn. But the change in season does not have to be so drastic. The tourists may have gone after their short holiday but the residents live here for most of the year and will continue to have consumer needs. The main difference is that this time round they will be looking for a professional service at a price that reflects the level of service and quality. Overprice is out but so is cheap, because cheaper than the right price must reflect the lack of something, usually quality, service or other. Nothing is free and giveaway prices make you give away what you think you are buying. ¡Se acabó! El verano ha terminado así como lo es la pesadilla de aparcamientos. Los residentes en la Costa están de vuelta y los colegios comienzan la temporada. Esto parece ser un pensamiento aterrador para algunos negocios que creen que el final del verano significa los tiempos duros por delante y empiezan reducir la publicidad y otros gastos. Supongo que esto es cuando los números de desempleo aumentan. Pero el cambio de estación no tiene que ser tan drástico. Los turistas pueden haber ido tras su corta vacaciones, pero los residentes viven aquí durante casi todo el año y seguirán teniendo las necesidades de consumidor. La principal diferencia es que esta vez irán buscando un servicio profesional a un precio que refleje el nivel de servicio y calidad. Sobreprecio está fuera de moda, pero así es el barato, porque al ser más barato que el precio justo debe reflejar la falta de algo, por lo general de calidad, de servicio u otro. Nada es gratis y los precios de regalados hacen que regaláis lo que usted piensa que está comprando.
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Dr. Anders Friman
Doctor of Dental Surgery UMEĂ… University Sweden
the
DENTISTS When Quality Matters
GALERIAS PANIAGUA Sotogrande 956 795 273
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ar Edition & Gibralt
What’s news
7. NOTICE BOARD 15. Linea Directa 28. Did you know that..?
Main Feature
10. Falling Prices and Golden Opportunities
My Opinion
12. Looking back, what’s ahead?
Food Hall
20. The season for Mycophiles
12
Recipe
30. Guinea fowl with wild mushrooms
Health & Beauty
Pricky Pair
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The facts speak for themselves This month we are particularly pleased to welcome Russian Radio Marbella as a new advertiser. What is also relevant is that while some of our advertisers have dropped out because “the tourists have gone”, particularly restaurants, those who have noticed the difference when advertising in Web Express Guide have reenforced their advertising campaign with us.
the Manilva Road to open a better and larger restaurant with a more extended cuisine from Cordoba at super good prices.
This autumn, we are pleased to promote the Parapiro Italian Restaurant as well as Shazna and Taj Mahal Indian restaurants in the Puerto de la Duquesa and La Casita in Sabinillas. The Raspita too has had a very good season with us and they have moved out of the Paseo Maritimo to half way up
We also wish a good autumn season to Cocomo & Peggotty’s in Estepona as well as El Molino, Mumbai Palace and Slow Boat to China.
Unique Property Investment Offer
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Urb Bahia Casares Golf - MA- 546 km1 Casares - Malaga We are pleased to announce a unique investment opportunity that has recently come on the market. Do take the time to inspect these very nice apartments within a secure private golf course and club house, with restaurant and fitness centre. Casares Golf urbanisation is on the Costa del Sol, 5 minutes from Estepona and 20 minutes from Puerto Banus and just 1.4kms from the beach.
These modern apartments comprise a spacious lounge, built in safe, kitchen with utility room, great bathrooms with bath tub and shower with jet. Each apartment has a garage and a storage room included in the price as well as the use of the two swimming pools in the resort’s gardens. In addition to the substantially reduced prices, 100% mortgages are also available (subject to status). See advert on pages 32 & 33.
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If you don’t see it it’s because it’s been picked up!
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Nº 149 Month
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This is just another example that can be identified beyond doubt. It is not just where we distribute the publication; it is what we publish that counts.
Watch out! Thieves are about! I recently received a phone call from a woman stating she was from ENDESA (the electric company). She informed me that I had earned a discount of 25% on my electric bills, a loyalty reward, to long standing clients for paying the recent increases. It all sounded pretty genuine until she asked me if I had the latest bill at hand so as to make sure the information was correct. I got suspicious and replied that if she has my phone number and she is from ENDESA then they already have the information and refused to give any information whatsoever. About a week later I received another call repeating the same story and today I had yet another call from a man supposedly from my mobile phone company who had a discount of 20% to offer. Do pigs fly? Such offers by this type of companies are only made by post. Do not fall for it! It is a scam to steal information and money out of your bank account. 8
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Win an ihi Bupa International Annual Travel Insurance! Sponsored by STM Nummos Life No catch! Yes you can win a Travel Insurance Policy valid anywhere in the world for a whole year. All you need to do is to go online at www.webexpressguide. com/costadelsol, register as a user and enter the competition. Simply choose the right answer out of 3. All the correct answers will be subject to a draw by an independent person and the lucky winner will receive the prize. There will be some small consolation prizes for two runners up. For further details please visit www.privatehealthcarespain.com/travel or call Sonia Fendley on +34 956 796 148. Employees and associates of Bupa, STM Nummos and Web Express Guide are excluded from entering this competition.
Haven’t you got anything to say? If you agree or disagree with any comments made in any article published, you are welcomed to express your own views and comments at the end of every article online. Simple! Just work your way down the article online, click on the appropriate text to make your comments and forward it to the website. Your email address will not be disclosed for others to see and your name will not be disclosed unless you sign your comments. Of course the editor and any other reader may then make their own comments or replies in the same way. www.webexpressguide.com
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Food Hall
The season for Mycophiles The mushroom hunters
A Mycophile is a devotee of mushrooms, especially one whose hobby is hunting and foraging for wild edible mushrooms. Well, it is that time of year again and the Mycophiles are getting ready to pounce! People will be trudging the woods and forests to find the best fungi the world has to offer. Every autumn, collecting mushrooms is a must for the enthusiast especially in the Northern regions of Spain. In fact it can be a jolly good jaunt for amateurs as well because there are specialist tour companies offering short breaks designed for people looking for that interesting holiday. There are usually Chefs and experts on hand to advise you with culinary skills to produce mouth watering dishes from your picking during a healthy day of foraging. Collecting mushrooms in the woods in the north of Spain is a very autumnal thing and apparently the Basque Country, Catalonia and even the Balearic Islands are some of the best hunting grounds. For the keen enthusiast the crack of dawn is the time to start and knowing just what to look for is really the key to a good bounty. It is important of course, to be able to distinguish between the edible and non edible types. An important 10
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rule of thumb to see if it is a mushroom or a toadstool is: if in doubt, leave it out. The only sure way is to take a book with pictures with you and learn what you can eat and what will make you very ill. Being able to distinguish the edible from the dangerous is the key. In Spain wild mushroom hunting is exceptionally popular all over the country but generally the province of Girona in the Catalan area of Spain is considered to be one of the best areas which is about an hour and a half from Barcelona. Mushrooms are amazingly varied in Spain, with some extremely big mushrooms growing in forest areas. Apparently this is because the weather is well disposed to mushroom propagation with hot summers and plenty of rain and a very humid and damp climate in the forests. So be prepared to find some giant fungi. The main mushroom season tends to be around September to October time, but it may be slightly earlier or later, depending on the weather. The rain usually arrives by August, but if it is slightly late, then the mushroom season will also be later. There are lots of resources and field guides to help the average person hunt edible mushrooms,
Food Hall
but to be honest “mushrooming” as it is called is best done with an expert or at least an experienced forager. You can often find towns and villages offering a range of Mycological options, from specific routes and activities, to associated establishments such as bars, restaurants and country house lodges. Go to the local Tourist Offices or Mycological Societies for more information on the options available.
Here are a few facts about mushrooms. Believe it or not, Mushrooms are actually the fruit of a much larger being. Mushrooms are neither plant nor are they animal, they are classified as fungi. The main body is subterranean or thriving on dead trees. It can also thrive on living tree roots and it can vary in size from a few inches to several miles wide. When they are able to absorb a large amount of water, they can grow amazingly fast. Their fruits sprout out of the ground overnight.
Warning,
only 2 ½ - 5 % are edible Beware though that although there are over two thousand types of mushrooms, only 2½ - 5 % are edible. The rest are highly poisonous and can masquerade as the edible ones, so do be extremely careful when foraging for mushrooms as it can be a risky business. The toxic effects of mushrooms are also elusive. Some contain enough toxins to immediately kill the person who eats them, like the Amanitas strain. Other mushroom toxins poison people with a cumulative effect, basically building up in a person’s system over time. In other words, a person could eat a certain mushroom fifty times with no reaction, and then die from the fifty-first taste because the overall poison levels become overwhelming to the body.
Connoisseur’s treasure The forests of Girona in northern Catalonia hide a culinary connoisseur’s treasure that the untrained amateur may never chance upon. To find the world famous black truffles takes real expert knowledge and do not forget the smart dog. Every winter, some 500 huntergatherers comb the most promising copses and groves of north-east Spain in search of a delicacy that can sell for over 1,000 Euros a kilo in Barcelona’s Boqueria Market. The truffle is a subterranean edible fungus that requires special conditions for its spores to take and reproduce. It needs good moisture but also warmth, and the right kind of tree – Hazel, Oak and Holm Oak (Mediterranean oak) – with which it forms a symbiotic relationship. The fungus synthesizes minerals for the tree and the tree releases sugar to the truffle. There are 70 types of truffle worldwide; interestingly enough relatively few have the desired gastronomical excellence required by the top Chefs. The black Périgord variety is one of the most highly valued, second only in value to the famous Italian white Piedmont truffle, which is not found in Spain. If you do decide to dabble in the mycophile world then remember to double check what you find. Enjoy but be careful.
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IN MY OPINION
Looking back, what’s ahead? What does the future hold in Spain. By Chevalier de Fleuri The mild Mediterranean climate of the Costa del Sol and its proximity to the Atlantic have always had an attraction that created a history spanning about 2,800 years, starting with the Visigots and other similar tribes. One of the first civilisations to leave their mark were the Phoenicians, followed by the Romans and then the Moors who made a permanent mark that is still noticed, particularly in the architecture. In more recent times, in the 40’s, Marbella was a small fishing village with only 900 inhabitants, the new era started with Ricardo Soriano, Marquis of Ivanrey, followed by his nephew Prince Alfonso de Hohenlohe, who attracted and popularized the area with their rich and famous friends. As an extension of this, the 50’s developed into an attraction for the most famous actors known at the time, the likes of Grace Kelly, Ava Gardner, Orson 12
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Wells, Frank Sinatra and many others were regular visitors. Naturally all these famous people coming to the area, centred in Marbella, made news all over the world with the ensuing boom in tourism. In the 60’s and 70’s the name “Costa del Sol” was a brand created specifically to market the Mediterranean coastline of Málaga province to foreign holiday makers. Torremolinos’ popularity as a tourist destination had a domino effect, and in the late 1960s and early 1970s, nearby municipalities such as Benalmadena, Fuengirola and Mijas, also saw a growth in the number of tourists as well as the number of permanent, resident retired couples with a U.K. pension to support them. Between 1978 and 1985, there was a brief window when extradition agreements between Spain and the UK broke down and a number of ‘wanted’
IN MY OPINION
persons moved to the Costa del Sol which was then nick-named “Costa del crime”. Unfortunately, the reputation created by this window, added to the general relaxed, apathetic attitude of the police served to give the area definite popularity with people who would rather keep a low profile. The climate, the beaches, the Mediterranean food and the relaxed, often festive customs of the local population, mainly villagers with villagers’ mentality, certainly presented an appeal to the majorities, especially British who gradually began to even exceed the number of Spaniards in some villages.
experienced before; the changes were, and still are to some extent, too fast and dramatic, not just for the village mentality of the Costa del Sol but for the rest of Spain that had not long ago come out of an oppressive dictatorship which slowed its development vis-a-vis the rest of Europe. Money became a major motivating factor that gradually brought out the true nature and mentality of the powers to be, practically all over Spain.
Not everyone’s reason for moving to the Costa was based on keeping a low profile. Many retired persons found the climate and the short distance from their country an attractive proposition. Others just had had enough of their own country and moved to seek a better life in a better climate.
What really made an irreparable impact to the changes was the property boom, a mix of British estate agents’ greed exploiting gullible investors and the authorities’ greed. There is nothing wrong with progression and creation of wealth, but when the common denominator is greed and money at any cost, irrespective of the people’s best interest, whether Spanish or foreign, that’s when it starts to go wrong. Have we ever seen such a large number of Spanish mayors and councillors and... prosecuted for alleged fraud? Has this served as a lesson? It does not seem like it, does it? In most cases we are still waiting to see what their real punishment is going to be. And when will it ever happen or will it all be swept away into oblivion? We seem to have gone back to the times of the Sheriff of Nottingham and his people; unfortunately there is no Robin Hood.
As the number of foreign visitors increased, the Spanish started to see a way of life they had never seen or
They now seem to make rules to suit themselves simply to get money out of everyone’s pockets.
As a matter of fact the growing number of British residents and visitors to the Costa resulted in a market, an island within the Costa del Sol, where there was no necessity to speak any language other than English. It all snowballed adding to the attraction.
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IN MY OPINION
I am not happy to be made to pay the electric company when I do not use their supply? Especially after all the unjustified increases we have had recently by so called “Royal Decree”. I am not happy to have to pay for emergency treatment as an E.U. citizen who is entitled to free health care. I am not happy to pay for a license to carry out repairs or just decorating my own home. Not when other E.U. countries even give grants for renovations, probably now financed by Brussels. I am not happy to pay for exorbitant parking fines when it seems obvious that parking spaces are deliberately reduced to procure parking fines. I am not happy to be excluded from bank and certain other facilities generally available to local nationals just because of my different nationality, even though I pay my taxes and social security contributions. Are we really going to have to pay €50 to get in and also out of Gibraltar?
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These are just but a few examples of a growing number of legalized scams which to my mind are entirely counterproductive and will only serve to achieve a substantial reduction in the number of foreign nationals to the area, one of the main sources of income that Spain really needs. “If I am earning less I shall charge more”. Well I have news for you Mr Spain, it does not work like this, what school and what planet do you come from? It is not just the crisis; it is a combination of all these factors that have contributed to the reduction of foreign residents. Even the Spanish themselves are leaving Spain to find jobs elsewhere and get away from the oppressive climate There seems to be a belief that people must do as they are told Spanish or not and if they happen not to communicate well in Spanish they must be retarded or gullible, this might be the reason why this summer has not been so profitable for a number of businesses compared to even last year. If this is the way forward, I imagine that at the end of the day Spain will be left to the authorities to fend for themselves and unfortunately there is not enough fish left in the sea to support a living.
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LÍNEA DIRECTA’s MEDICAL TREATMENT GUARANTEES QUALITY With this service, the first of its kind in Spain, patients save an average of 2 months and 15 days treatment time. The treatment is free of charge in all policies and covering the people travelling in the insured car and injured third-parties. In 2004, Línea Directa launched its Full Medical Treatment service, a complete private network of health assistance guaranteeing complete, immediate assistance to those injured in traffic accidents. The service, the only one of its kind in Spain, is totally free and is available to all, drivers and occupants, travelling in a car insured by Línea Directa, whether they are to blame for the accident or not, as well as injured third parties. Línea Directa has assistance network prestigious medical rehabilitation clinics, patient transportation
created an extensive collaborating with specialists, hospitals, diagnosis centres and services. Línea Directa
also offers its customers services entirely in English and German, acting as intermediaries not only with repair garages, but also with medical centres. Thanks to the speed of this service, it’s possible to reduce waiting time and achieve a better and faster recovery, patients save on average 2 months and 15 days in their treatment, allowing them to get back to their personal and professional lives much sooner. This treatment is offered in conjunction with Línea Directa’s Psychological Attention Plan, which includes professional support for both the injured as well as their closest family members. You can find out more about all the benefits available at www.lineadirecta. com or by calling 902 123 104.
For more information,
Call 902 123 104
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Mumbai Palace
INDIAN RESTAURANT AUTHENTIC INDIAN FOOD
INDIAN RESTAURANT FOR THE FINEST INDIAN CUISINE
TAJ MAHAL
TAKEAWAY SERVICE ALSO AVAIBLE Menu of the day from 1.30pm to 3.30pm
Saturday & Sunday Open Buffet 13:00 to 22:30 Open every dat from 13:00 to 15:30 & 19:00 till late
Paseo Marítimo Sabinillas
TAKEAWAY SERVICE ALSO AVAILABLE Open every day from 13:00 to 16:00 & 19:00 till late Plaza de la Fuente - Puerto Duquesa (Sabinillas)
952 890 651 & 606 705 728
Tel: 952 89 37 67 - 626 62 20 36
Therese and Michael Lovett welcome you! FULLY AIR CONDITIONED ALL MAJOR SPORTS FREE WiFi TUESDAY GOLF SOCIETY Tel: 669 807 208
Email: michael@angloirishrealty.com
Traditional Andalucian Cuisine with our special touch in a traditional very cosy ambience Available as tapas or Portions
Tel: 952 892 972 email: elmolinosabinillas@hotmail.es Calle Octavio Paz Bajo Nº1 Sabinillas (Manilva)
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Probably the best Indian food restaurant on the Costa, ideally located on the front line of the port.
Indian tapas served at lunchtime A children’s menu is available Opening hours: 1pm to 3:30 pm & 7 pm till late Also Takeaway & Home Delivery
Frontline Marina Puerto de la Duquesa (Manilva) Tel: 952 891 103 - www.webexpressguide.com Mob: 637 478 045 17
P
p a r a iro’s Ristorante
A traditional Italian family restaurant
Enjoy Authentic Italian Cuisine and Real Italian Pizza A fresh authentic produce and a good supporting wine list supported by a quality service in a familiar, warm and modern ambience
Puerto de la Duquesa - Manilva (MĂĄlaga) Phone +34 952890744 Mob: 609 522 907 Fax. +34 952890744 18 www.webexpressguide.com Email: info@parapiros.com
Hours: Monday-Saturday: 19:30 - 24.30 Wednesday Closed Sunday: 13:30 - 15:30 / 19:30 - 24:30 www.parapiros.com
Растите с нами!
www.rusradiomarbella.ru
106.2 FM www.webexpressguide.com
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cover feature
Falling Prices and Golden Opportunities Perhaps it is time to think again about that holiday home in the sun. By Count de la Perrelle. Sun, sea and sangria have long tempted people from all over the world to dream about that holiday home in the sun and live out a life in the warmer climes of Spain either for vacations or for more of a long term investment. We are all fully aware though that, during recent years, the property market soured somewhat and crashed. With property prices dropping by around 30% – 50%, now could well be a good time to find that holiday home investment in the sun. According to Standard and Poor, prices in Spain have fallen by an average of 28% since 2008 and in some cases asking prices have fallen as much as 70%. There are other buying hotspots of course including France, Italy, Portugal and Greece, where there have been significant falls. According to S&P, France saw house prices fall 2% last year and 4% the year before. Meanwhile Italy fell 5% last year and 3% the year earlier, Portugal was down 3% last year and apparently Greece prices fell 12% in the last 12 months and 10% the year earlier, but Spain would seem to be the best investment bet. 20
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Spain is a good choice Spain has much to offer anyone who decides to settle or have the personal use of a holiday home here. Of course the crisis is aggravated by a surplus stock of new properties, having said that, some very good deals can be had with the banks with regard to mortgages. It is certainly the right time to consider buying for relocation or for a lifestyle reasons. Spain is renowned for its relaxed way of life and the healthy Mediterranean climate which has attracted people from all over the world for many years and will continue to do so after the crisis. Marbella and the Costa del Sol offer so much to the discerning
cover feature
visitor giving the feeling of being in some quality international resort set all on its own. There is so much to see and do all along the Costa del Sol and so much to explore, with a cornucopia of different villages, cultures and lifestyles offering endless ideas to enhance your holiday entertainment. Casares and Manilva areas are just two excellent examples of this. We are all aware that during the real-estate boom, Spanish house prices rocketed, rising by an incredible 200 per cent from 1996 to 2007, before plunging back down to earth when the bubble burst. Major banks, including UBS and BBVA, estimate that house prices may have bottomed out, so there are many good deals to be had right now. Of course, when it comes to properties in ever-popular, reputable areas, some buyers are grabbing the best deals while they can. There is still a lot of uncertainty all over Spain, but it is possible to buy a twobed apartment in southern Costa del Sol for substantial reductions. I do wonder just how low some of these property prices will go? Generally, most of the people buying at this time are semi-retirees who want a second home to move into in perhaps five, or 10 years time when they intend to be financially selfsufficient, living off their pension and savings�.
A word of caution Do make a point of checking all of the costs and the details associated with buying abroad. Exchange rates can make a big difference and do make sure you understand all the local taxes and fees that will apply. A local Gestor (financial manager) and a good independent lawyer will advise you on such matters as transfer tax, IVA and stamp duty on new builds, legal fees, registry costs, yearly costs and taxes. Such professional advisers will help you keep on top of all the new legislation regarding renting out your property if you so wish when you are not using it. One last recommendation, if you are not buying for cash and if you are not financially independent avoid over borrowing, remember that Spanish banks are still very fragile while unemployment is high.
However many are seizing this as an opportunity to invest in the future, because eventually prices will move up again. Meanwhile such investment properties can be used for renting or as holiday homes. www.webexpressguide.com
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The Largest, Best Quality & Best Prices FAR EASTERN RESTAURANT IN THE AREA
Puerto de la Duquesa (Manilva)
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FOR RESERVATION Telf: 952 89 05 37
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www.slowboat2china.com
“Red is Dead”
Cocomo Dearing to be Different
COCOMO
Cocktail Bar & Restaurant
“Where good food is born out of love” Reservation Recommended 685 218 054 Urb. Benamara (ESTEPONA) Next to the Crowne Plaza Ctra. N340 - Km 168
www.cocomorestaurant.com Tel: +34 951 272 208 www.webexpressguide.com 23
Francisco Camero Servicios Funerarios
Tel: 952 173 602 FINEST SELECTION OF NEW & SECOND HAND PIANOS
E·S·S·A·R·D·A·S JEWELLERS
1. Instant Cash for gold unwanted Jewellery 2. All jewellery repairs – cleaning 3. Valuations FOR INSURANCE 4. Watch battery Change – Repair 5. Valuation Service FOR INSURANCE TALK TO THE LOCAL PROFESSIONALS G.I.A GEMOLOGIST IN HOUSE
64 Main Street (Gibraltar) TEL: 00350 200 78441 E-MAIL : sales@essardasgroup.com
ONE OF THE BEST HOTELS IN PUERTO BANUS
O�cia� Di��ri���or and Service
SALES RENTALS TUNING TRANSPORT
+34 958 226 291
+34 607 268 819
www.hinves.com SERVICE THROUGHOUT SPAIN & EUROPE
24
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Reservations: +34 952 81 16 13 | Hotel: +34 952 81 73 53 e-mail: direccion@hotelpyr.com Avenida Rotary Internacional s/n, Puerto Banus, Marbella.
“LA CASITA”
INTERNATIONAL RESTAURANT Good Supporting Wine Cellar
Fish/Pescados
Main Courses/Raciones
Meat/Carnes
Pastas
Tapas
Salads/Ensaladas
Burgers/Hamburguesas
Starters/Entradas
Real Value for Money
Calle Fernando Pessoa, Edif. Acapulco. Sabinillas (Opposite Children Park & Car Park)
Booking/Reservas www.webexpressguide.com 25 Tel. 952 892 173
Peggotty’s Finest Award Winning “Fish & Chips”
Where Passion and simplicity create perfection Opening hours: Mon-Sat: 6pm-11pm -We close on Sundays
The finest FISH & CHIPS restaurant on the Costa del Sol also FLAME GRILLED BURGERS - FLAME GRILLED CHICKEN AUTHENTIC American style SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN our chips are cooked in a unique method unlike any other restaurant
½ price Children Menu Available When accompanied by adult
PEGGOTTY’S ON THE COSTA AS SEEN ON CHANNEL 4 & FEATURED BY THE BBC BENAVISTA - Exit Km. 168 opposite Crowne Plaza Hotel Urb. El Pilar, Edif. Benapilar Loc. 8-10 ESTEPONA 26 www.webexpressguide.com Tel: 952 883 666 - www.peggottysfishandchipsspain.com - info@peggottysfishandchipsspain.com
Gaby & Antonio have moved to a new and better location! With plenty of car park space! Come and visit us and taste some real Spanish cuisine from Cordoba at prices that can´t be beaten. Try our ‘Rabo de Toro’, ‘Deer’ or ‘Wild Boar’ among so many other finger licking dishes. Choose between Tapas, ½ Portions or Full Portions. MANILVA
SABINILLAS
Tel: 664 015 764 www.webexpressguide.com 27 First restaurant on the right on the A-377 the main road from Sabinillas to Manilva
whats news
Did you know that..? A collection of useless but interesting facts for after dinner conversation in Andalucia
Google is catching up with Apple in terms of downloads of software applications. Last month, Apple announced its 50 billionth download on the same day as Google hit 48 billion. The data do not differentiate between paid-for and free apps The Observer Net migration to Britain has fallen almost a quarter, from 242,000 in the 12 months to March 2011, to 183,000 in the year to March 2012. The main factors behind the fall were stricter rules on student visas, and more people leaving the country to work abroad. Independent
Presented by the two old gits
Mixed-race Britons are among the nation’s fastestgrowing ethnic-minority groups with at least 1m people now born to parents from different ethnicities. The findings coincide with new polling that reveals only 15% of people feel uncomfortable about interracial marriages. Twenty years ago, 40% of Britons expressed concerns about such relationships Sunday Times Betty Harris of Sydney left her neighbours £8m when she died. The neighbours had helped her with chores such as buying milk and taking out the rubbish. Her relatives, who said she was deluded when she wrote her will, failed to get the legacy legally overturned as they hadn’t spoken to her in 13 years. Times
Singapore residents are the most downbeat in the world, according to a global poll. Residents from 148 countries were asked five questions about whether they were happy. Just 46% of Singaporeans said yes to all five. Top of the list were Panama and Paraguay, with 85%; the UK Gordon Brown was exposed as one was on a par with Belgium on 77%. Daily Mail of Britain’s least enthusiastic MPs. Dogs are meant to be for life, not just for Christmas – but The former PM has taken part in some owners don’t see it that way. The Dogs Trust charity only three commons debates since reports that dogs have been given away this year for failing losing the election in 2010. He to perform tricks, not matching the sofa, not looking like has declared 28 overseas trips since their picture online and smelling too much like a dog. Daily November last year. Guardian Express Just 10 per cent of people manage to keep their New Year’s resolutions for at least six months, according to new research. Just under half break their resolutions within a fortnight, blaming a lack of will power. 55 per cent of us have made New Year’s resolutions in the past, but just 23 per cent have made some resolutions for 2013. Mail 28
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The Best of Sabinillas & Duquesa
Businesses come, go and even change. With 20 years in the area we can recommend. Those that we relieve continue to provise a good service and value for Money. Negocios abren, cierran y cambian, Con mas de 20 años en la zona podemos recomendar las empresas que contribuyen a proveer un buen servicio y una relación calidad-precio inmejorable.
www.directorycostadelsol.com
Home Made Icecream Various Dishes, Tapas, Cakes, English Breakfasts, Children Play Area, Bred Shop, Filled Bagattes. Plaza Salvador Tel. 679 815 022
SNACK BAR & ROCK Sunday Roast All Day English Breakfasts Closed Thursdays C/ Aurora de Albornoz
Tel: 616 059 663
Frankies Sabinillas Paseo Maritimo Sabinillas
952 897 368
Tapas & Meals
asesoría
Rudy García
c/ Miguel Delibes nº9 Tel: 952 897 470 Fax: 952 93 63 93 info@mangilasesoria.es
Tapas y Raciones
Estate Agent Bloque el Boquerón Tel: 952891541 & 689195723
www.rudyproperties.com
Tel: 678 28 75 41 Plaza Mirimar 3 Castillo de la Duquesa
HERBOLARIO
La Sabina
International Dental Clinic
LOCKSMITH 24 h
Dra. Dylvia Kromke EMERGENCY 24Hrs Calle Mijas Nº6 Tel: 952 891 741 Móvil: 626 925 229
C/ Maria Zembrano
24h
951 27 37 12 645 58 05 46
Juan Antonio de la Torre Tel: 952 89 32 61 Calle Duquesa de Arcos, Edif. Torremar Local 3. (Sabinillas) 29692 MALAGA
CYBER CAFÉ Sabinillas
MayRa Calzado
Shoes
Wo m e n - M e n - K i d s
663 926 741
BRUNO’S CAR RENTAL S.L. www.brunoscar.com Puerto de la Duquesa Edif. El Boquerón TEL. 952 89 14 15 Airport tel. 610 75 06 22
Moneygram, Internet, Fax, Photocopiers, Phone Cards, MiniMart, Cheap Calls Plaza Salvador (SABINILLAS) Tel: 952 936 207 www.directorymarbella.com
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A delicious early autumn recipe provided by
Guinea fowl with wild mushrooms
COCOMO
Cocktail Bar & Restaurant
Ingredients •
1 small sprig fresh thyme
•
4 cloves of garlic unpeeled and lightly crushed
•
1 large guinea fowl weighing about 1.5 kg/3lb 5oz
•
salt and freshly ground black pepper
•
4 tbsp light olive oil
For the sauce
To serve
•
100ml/3fl oz Madeira or port
•
25g/1oz butter
•
250ml/9fl oz brown chicken or beef stock
•
250g/9oz wild mushrooms, such as
•
2 tbsp butter
•
½ tsp fresh thyme leaves
•
salt
•
½ tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
•
1 savoy cabbage
•
salt & freshly ground blk pepper
•
pinch of nutmeg
Preparation:
30
chanterelles, shiitake
1. Pre-heat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6. 2. Place the thyme and garlic inside the guinea fowl and season inside and out. 3. Heat two tablespoons of the oil in a roasting tin in the oven. Place the guinea fowl on its side in the tin and roast for 10 minutes. Then for another 10 minutes on the other side. And then turn the guinea fowl breast-side up, lower the oven temperature to 180C/350F/Gas 4, and roast for 20 minutes. 4. Transfer to a clean dish, cover with foil and allow to rest for 15 minutes. To make the sauce, pour the fat from the roasting pan and deglaze the pan with Madeira or port. Tip the juices into a saucepan and add the stock. Boil until reduced by half. 5. Heat a large frying pan over a high heat, add the remaining oil and fry the mushrooms with a little salt for 3-4 minutes. Tip onto a roasting tray. 6. Cut the legs off the guinea fowl and place on the roasting tray with the mushrooms. Cut down the side of the breastbone and remove the breasts. Place on the roasting tray. 7. To serve, warm the mushrooms and guinea fowl in the oven for 3-4 minutes. Meanwhile, bring the sauce to the boil, then whisk in the butter and herbs. Season to taste. 8. Heat a frying pan until hot. Add butter and the cabbage. Stir fry until wilted season with salt, pepper and nutmeg. 9. Place a little cabbage and some mushrooms on each warmed plate. Top with the guinea fowl and pour over the sauce. www.webexpressguide.com
Printed directories have never worked on the Costa del Sol, how many have we seen come and go? Would you like a list?
www.webexpressguide.com is your only real answer because it is the best and longest established Portal of the Costa del Sol that is also printed as a professional monthly magazine. 129 Monthly
Nº 133 Monthly
Nº iture 10 Q Bar Codes 28 Wicker Furn ance 7 Free Car Insur Ferrari Spider F430 34 One Month Sea 34 IBS & IBD 26 Explained 24 Nº Sabinillas on 6 131 Month Syndrome Board ws 8 Polyc ystic Ovarian ly See our MAPSion 46 Ne Notice lla 11 Edit Check the nning o Marbe ial SEARCH YOUR PRINTED ENGINE Pla Notice Boa & Gibraltar Casin 13 Sol E anc del a ta rd 6 GIN Fin Costa del Sol & Gibraltar Edition Cos Horosco sfulEN p in Andaluci RC cesH pe 32 WWW.WEBEXPRESSGUIDE.COM Suc Sho YOUR PR NTED SEA Humour Edition t FotoOM gesDE.C YOUR PRI GUI 33 altar INTED SEARC ESS Lar GibrWW EBEXPR & H See l W.W FREE COPY W.W EN our WW l So GINE EBEXPR MAPS 36 ESSGUIDE sta de EThe True FR CoOriginal N EE Y Portazine © .CO GI CO COP M PY Costa del FREE H EN zine © since 2000 Sol & Gib The True Orig ARC inalMPortaEstablished Orig raltar Edi TrueDE .CO INCORPORATING LOCAL MAPS Estab TED SETheSG 2000 lished since inal Portazine © tion UI 2000 PRIN EXPRES Established since ING LOCAL MAPS INCORP www.directorymarbella.com ORATIN RPORAT YOUR EB
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It pays to advertise in Web Express Guide
It’s what Google uses to find advertisers!!!
RBELLA CASINO MA hing Double or
not
FER PAIRERTY ON OF from ICKLYPROP e direct CASINO THE PR mmon At reduced pric MA Co What’s Ne RBELLA seller Rotal v w? OM lE ital ING INC l Soto AS N de CH cap IO sta ch e Co PRET A PO t approa OPIN Asdiffe ren on th RTER IN MY g choice Golfino’s stment sin inve rti Ne w ve Collectio Ad n AGECA n IM & R D uctio SALES SOUN und reprodSe LE e what’s wh & so EDIB at’s on off INCR latest on film er! ry The ve
T OR ABSTRAC RY? O P Whose birthday M NT oElf! WRAis it, anyway? COG CASINO MARBELLA Christmas Celebrations
PRET A PORTER
Pair up your accessories for Xmas
IN MY OPINION Let’s open a bar!
ho Was F
com 1 rola ebexpre Elviria, Fuengi lla,ssguide. www.w Marbe Banus, Pedro, Puerto www.webexpressguide.com lmina, SanGuadalmina, 1 1 olaPuerto Banus, om Gibraltar, San Roque, Sotogrande, Torreguadiaro, Duquesa, Marbella, Elviria, Fuengirola ngir na, GuadaEstepona, ide.cSan FuePedro, EstepoSabinillas, expressgu sa, Sabinillas, , Elviria, adiaro, Duque www.web Marbella Gibraltar, Sotogrande, Torregu rto Banus, San Roque, Sotogrande, San Pedro, Pue ina,Torreguadiaro, Duqu esa, Sabinillas, a, Guadalm pon Estepona, Guad s, Este almina, San , Sabinilla Pedro, Puerto www.w Duquesa ro, ebexpressguid Banus, Marb adia e.com ella, Elviria Torregu 1irola , Fueng grande, ue, Soto r, San Roq Gibralta
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irst?
It also includes searches in
www.directorymarbella.com www.directorygibraltar.com www.directorycostadelsol.com Most of our advertisers appear on first page of Google searches in their area.
We have proven to be the best and our quality clients have noticed it. From as little as €35 you too can have a whole page on our www.webexpressguide.com directory online and an entry in our magazine.
31 31
PROMOTING BAHIA CASARES GOLF Costa del Sol Spacious luxury two and three bedrooms apartments with large terrace within a private, secure urbanization enclosing a golf course & club, restaurant, gymnasium and 2 swimming pools at just 1.4 km from the beach.
Two bedrooms apartment: 88 m2 with 28 m2 terrace
From 102.000€ + 8% de ITP Two bedroom Duplex : 94m2 with 65 m2 terrace.
From 119.000€ + 8% ITP Three bedroom apartment: 114 m2 with 48 m2 garden.
From 126.000€ + 8% de ITP Each with its own garage space and storage space included in the price. Urb Bahia Casares Golf Costa del Sol MA-546 km1 CP: 29690
For further details and viewing contact Paloma Vargas Alcorta Tel: +34 659 230 358 32 www.webexpressguide.com p.vargas@magnum-partners.es
A UNIQUE
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DIRECT SALE BY BANK WITH 100% FINANCE AVAILABLE www.webexpressguide.com
33
HEALTH & BEAUTY
MacMillan Biggest Coffee Morning 2013 The World’s Biggest Coffee Morning is Macmillan Cancer Support’s biggest fundraising event. People across the world will hold a coffee morning, to help raise funds for a Cancer charity.
Last year’s coffee morning was held at the Rock Hotel Gibraltar, which despite the torrential rain was a huge success. This year we want to raise even more money to help change the lives of people affected by cancer. STM Nummos Life SL, registered intermediaries for Bupa International and Sanitas will be hosting a coffee morning at Edificio Sotovila, Plaza Mayor, Pueblo Nuevo de Guadiaro from 10.30-12-30pm on Friday the 27th September. Further details are available on
http://www.privatehealthcarespain.com/ or by
calling Sonia Fendley on 956 796148.
We are pleased to invite you to our fundraising event Hello! on the 27th September 2012, 10:30am to 12:30pm We are pleased to invite you to our fundraising event on the at STM Nummos Life 27th September Edif. Sotovila,2012, Plaza10:30am Mayor to 12:30pm at P.N. STM de Nummos Life,Sotogrande Edif. Sotovila, Plaza Mayor, P.N. de Guadiaro, Guadiaro, Sotogrande,11311 Cadiz. 11311 Cadiz. RSVP Sonia Fendley onon 956 796148 RSVP Sonia Fendley 956 796148oror email sonia.fendley@stmnummos.com email sonia.fendley@stmnummos.com All proceeds will go to Lady Williams Cancer Centre Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604)
34
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A R E YO U S U F F I C I E N T LY COV E R E D F O R YO U R H E A LT H C A R E NEEDS? As an expat living in Spain, accessing the right kind of healthcare provision can prove difficult. If you are not covered, treatment can be expensive and often beyond most people’s means. This is not to mention the added complication of doing this in another language. STM Nummos Life SL are registered intermediaries for Bupa International and Sanitas, and offer comprehensive and affordable packages designed to provide you with a tailored healthcare solution that provides peace of mind for you and your family. Our team of client relationship managers are bilingual and provide the following services to new and existing Bupa and Sanitas clients free of charge: • Assisting members in finding the appropriate medical provider • Obtaining pre-authorisation for hospitalisation, operations and scans • Claims assistance • Advising on policy matters and renewal • Providing information on new products and promotions
Distributed by
Insured by
To find out more, contact our health insurance experts: E: sonia.fendley@stmnummos.com T: +34 956 796 148 www.privatehealthcarespain.com www.webexpressguide.com
35
Man + Van
LOCAL deliveries and pick-ups IKEA and Super Store runs LIGHT Removals GIBRALTAR SPAIN 00350 540 055 35 Ernie Mac 6711 567 55 The Van Man
erniemac@man-plus-van.net
Our qualified, professional and friendly team is waiting to welcome you and your pets to our new modern facilities.
VETERINARY CLINIC & SURGERY
Now we have a large car park too.
Veterinarian: DVM Nazli Kreft Van den Kieboom
Please call us for an appointment
952 80 41 65 Open: Mon to Fri 10am to 2pm & 3pm to 6pm Saturdays from 11am to 2pm
24 hour emergency service Tel: 689069502 Opposite Laguna Village on Km 159 on the N340, Rio Padrón s/n at side of the Escuela de Arte Ecuestre.
info@pointerclinic.com www.pointerclinic.com
36
Original English Bread Bakers, specialists in sliced bread production. For further information contact Charles Cruz
www.webexpressguide.com
• • • • •
English Bread Bakers Pan de Molde Ingles Fresh Bake Thick Sliced Bread Sandwich Bread
Poligono Industrial, El Cañuelo 12-17, Pueblo Nuevo de Guadiaro, Cádiz Telephone: +34 956 614 000 info@pan-ingles.com http://www.pan-ingles.com/
PLUMBING PROPERTY MAINTENANCE SERVICES
PPMS
MARK SIMPSON FONTANERÍA – PLUMBER
British Engineer with over 25 years experience Tel: +34 951 977 415 - Mob: +34 664 050 550 mark.simpson@gmail.com
IRON WORK’S Security Grills • Gates • Furniture FREE ESTIMATES
952 79 63 04
AFABSC@yahoo.es C/ Arquimedes, 11 - Pol. Ind. Estepona
Exclusive Distributor in Spain for:
more, well, new Hair Dressing Wholesalers must contact us. The Magic of Color in just 10’
Hair & Beauty unisex salon & Trade supplier for professionals / Venta a profesionales Est. Since 1990 WINTER/INVIERNO OPEN/ABIERTO TUESDAY TO SUNDAY / DE MARTES A DOMINGO SUMMER/VERANO OPEN/ABIERTO MONDAY TO SATURDAY / DE LUNES A SABADO APPOINTMENT/CITA TEL:- 00 34 956 625 670 WWW.GIRALDATOP.COM Urb Santa Margarita A7 - Exit www.webexpressguide.com 124, Retail Sale Melchor, local 37 www.webexpressguide.com 378 11300 La Linea de la Concepcion
The only marketing company with its own publication often copied, never equalled
If we can market any product and services anywhere in the world we can certainly do so on the Costa del Sol WXPG MARKETING TEL. SPAIN +34 952 891 773 U.K. +44 (0)203 617 1883 MOBILE: +34 629 504 003 www.webexpressguide.com
38
www.wxpg.com info@wxpg.com
No Jus t jar gon. s ound advice! RICHARD ALEXANDER
CLINICA MEDICA
DR. MANUEL HIDALGO • • • • •
Laboratory of Clinical Analisys Conventional Radiology Abdominal Ecography Respiratory Function Tests Ecography - Dupliex and colour. Doppler
Financial Planning Ltd
UK: Anderida, C urtis den Green, Goudhurs t, Kent TN17 1LE, UK. T +44 (0)1580 212617 C orres pondenc e addres s in Spain: C /Lagas c a, 79, 29670 San Pedro de Alc antara, M arbella, M alaga, Spain. T +34 671 742 667 M +44 (0)7545 697473 E info@ra-fp. c om
w w w . r a -f p. c o m
Richard Alexander Financial Planning Limited is an appointed representative of L J Financial Planning Limited which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority in the UK. Registered company number in England 7277868.
Mondays to Fridays from 17:00 to 20:00 by appointment Tel: +34 956 767 552 Calle Jardines 11 – 1ºD (LA LINEA DE LA CONCEPCIÓN)
Otoclinic
The leading hearing aid specialist
The British Hearing Centre Stop missing out on conversations! FREE NO OBLIGATION HEARING TEST Find out how easily you can improve your hearing. Digital Hearing Aids from well known manufacturers also invisible aids. VALUABLE HELP IS AVAILABLE FOR TINNITUS SUFFERERS
Estepona Osteopathic Clinic Estepona
Gibraltar
+34 625 957 673 +(350) 200 40563 Avda. de España 124 - 1D
25 City Mill Lane
SPECIALIST TREATMENT
for Back, Neck and Limb Pain Sports Injuries Children Expectant Mothers
Open Monday to Friday 10:00 to 14:00 & 17:00 to 20:00
Clinics also in Marbella, La Linea, Algeciras, Ronda, Antequera, Velez-Malaga. Further details on www.otoclinic.es Calle Real 48, Estepona - Tel: 952 796 181
Paul Knight BSc (Hons) Ost. Osteopath / U.K Registered
paulfknight@hotmail.com www.webexpressguide.com
39
MBA students receive Honours again and continue to find jobs. Here are some quotes from students that have succeeded at MBA. “MBA has changed my life in many ways. The teaching is amazing, the classes are small which is great for me. MBA are helping me progress in makeup and fashion.” Maxwell Mcgahan “I have been thinking of taking a course at MBA for a long time to change my career. I’m very happy I did it this year. I enjoy it so much. I am opening my own salon in the near future, My teachers, Jane and Giselle, have been really helpful with everything.” Krisztina Pinter “My time at the Marbella Beauty Academy was great and full of lovely moments. Giselle & Jane are two people that mean a lot to me. They really helped me to achieve my dream and I know there are always there for me when I need them. When I started on my course, my dream was to join Steiner and work on board one of their luxury Spas. I have now been working on board Ship on 3 separate Tours and worked a season in a 5 star ski resort in Switzerland. Thank you very much for all your support and your trust. Good Luck with next year!!!” Alex C “When I decided on a career change, Make-up was my first choice, but ... I realized it was important to understand all aspects of skincare... I was very nervous studying again at the age of 37, but I am glad I did, as I loved every minute of it!! ... I decided to add Waxing, Manicure & Pedicure in with my Facials as these treatments are in high demand. Studying again was the best decision I have ever made... mainly due to Jane being such an excellent teacher... Giselle & Jane have always been there for me and I’ll never forget my year with them!!! A big thank you to you both!” Bernice W.
Tel: +34 952 817 632 +34 693 507 267
C.I.B.T.A.C A.B.T I.T.E.C C.I.D.E.S.C.O International
Qualifications Achieve a Life Long Qualification with Endless Options
• • • • • •
Beauty Treatments for Airline V.I.P.s 5 star Spas & Health Farms Hotels & Salons Cosmetic Surgeries Top Cosmetic Companies Journalism & Teaching
EXCITING NEW QUALIFICATIONS COMING TO MBA IN SEPTEMBER! • HAIRDRESSING • TEACHING - P.T.T.L.S Certificate in teaching in Further Education in any subject • SALON MANAGEMENT
info@marbellabeautyacademy.com - www.marbellabeautyacademy.com www.webexpressguide.com 41 Nueva Andalucia, Marbella
the book
dvd BRINGING UP BOBBY
Tenth of December George Saunders
From the undisputed master of the short story, George Saunders, comes a dazzling and disturbing new collection. His most wryly hilarious work to date, Tenth of December illuminates human experience and explores figures lost in a labyrinth of troubling preoccupations. With dark visions of the future riffling against ghosts of the past and the eversettling present, Tenth of December sings with astonishing charm and intensity, and re-affirms Saunders as one of our greatest living storytellers. In Tenth of December, the reader is always right there, and the meanings are beautiful and profound and abundant. The title story is an exquisite, moving account of the intersection, at a frozen lake in the woods, of a young misfit and a middle-aged cancer patient who goes there to commit suicide, only to end up saving the boy’s life 42
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Director: Famke Jansse Starring: Milla Jovovich, Bill Pullman, Marcia Cross Family Drama In an effort to escape her murky past, Olive (Milla Jovovich), a nomadic European con-artist and her 10-year-old son Bobby (Spencer List), find themselves living in Oklahoma. Olive enrolls him in school, makes him do his homework and tries to be a good mother; with the help of an old friend, Olive provides for Bobby in the only way she knows how. But Bobby displays troubling behaviour.Very heart-warming and there’s good acting all the way through.
THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES
Director: Derek Cianfrance Starring: Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Rose Byrne, Eva Mendes, Ray Liotta, Dane DeHaan, Bruce Greenwood, Ben Mendelsohn, Harris Yulin, Mahershalalhash Ali Family Luke, (Ryan Gosling) desperately tries to connect with a former lover, Romina, (Eva Mendes) who secretly gave birth to the stunt rider’s son. In providing for his new family, Luke commits a series of bank robberies. But Luke is put on a collision course with an ambitious police officer, Avery Cross, (Bradley Cooper) looking to quickly move up the ranks in a police department riddled with corruption.
OBLIVION Director: Joseph Kosinski Starring: Tom Cruise, Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko Science fiction A veteran assigned to extract Earth’s remaining resources questions what he knows. Jack Harper (Cruise) is one of the last few drone repairmen. Part of a massive operation to extract vital resources after decades of war with a terrifying threat, Jack’s mission is nearly complete. His soaring existence is brought crashing down when he rescues a beautiful stranger from a downed spacecraft.
VIRTUAL
YES IT’S TRUE
HUMOUR Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking? That’s because they already have boyfriends I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit. A minute later, some guy did exactly the same thing. I said to him, “I just did that.” So, he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard. Teacher: “Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!” *Nobody stands up* Teacher: “Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!” *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: “Ohh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?” Little Johnny: “No... i just feel bad that you’re standing alone...” 3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked “What was that for?”. The 3rd guy replied, “Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!” 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
I told my dad to embrace his mistakes. He cried. Then he hugged my sister & me. Waitress: Have i kept you waiting long? Customer: No, but did you know there are 3,296 squares on the ceiling? Why are married women heavier than single women? Because single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge. www.webexpressguide.com
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leisure & entertainment
I
prickly pair
Do you know how to suck eggs? This month we repeat an amusing article written by the Prickly Pair back in 2006. It does happen that at times we cannot see the wood for the trees and some advice and soul comforting can be helpful, but do “Holistic Lifestyle Consultants” provide the answer? I would be the first to admit that life can be a bit of a challenge from time to time and I do like to think of myself as one of nature’s more open minded types. In fact it has always been my maxim for life that we should try any avenue that leads to our eventually becoming a better person and not being afraid to ask for help along life’s highway. So what do “Holistic lifestyle consultants” offer that a good spliff doesn’t? Well it seems, according to one such menace, that, “your thoughts create your reality” and that you can “overcome life’s challenges, using the power of your mind”. Now I am no expert, but haven’t human beings been doing that for themselves ever since they 44
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crawled out of the primeval soup? So why have a group of girls, barely out of their teens popped up all over the place and started to presume to tell world weary adults how to live their lives? Simple, these irritating, spoilt, only child, obnoxious little mares, probably failed at short-hand, hair dressing, baby-sitting or any number of other bimbo pastimes traditionally set aside for them. You have to wonder therefore; just what kind of people would call a young woman with
about as much savvy of the real world as a long time Alzheimer’s sufferer to their home for a session of verbal nonsense? I would guess that the clientele fall into just a few categories; old ladies, whose own daughters or granddaughters have abandoned them because they are terminally boring, gullible, like minded souls with a completely dormant organ between their ears and dirty old men!
falsified diplomas. To give them their due however; the majority of these young crones can talk the hind leg off a donkey and it is this confidence, built up via a lifetime of Mummy and Daddy telling them how clever and special they are, that will see them continuing to lead vacuous lives right up until some poor sod has the misfortune to marry them.
For a bit of research into life coaching, I looked up a few sites on the internet and amongst all the usual b****cks, the bare bones of the matter seems to be, that there are no recognized certificates or diplomas in the field of life coaching. Well there’s a surprise! I didn’t think there would be for one minute; so why did the little white witch I had the misfortune to come into contact with recently, has more letters after her name than a top brain surgeon?
The way some of today’s youngsters seem to be going, you could argue that it is refreshing to see that at least a few young people are pursuing a more spiritual existence; by the same token however, at least with a hoodie the threat of danger is obvious; with an “Holistic Lifestyle Consultant” it isn’t and it is much slower and more painful to be bored to death!
Simple, she used what she later told me was an interior design diploma. Now I have nothing against anybody who makes a living extracting money from people who should know better; what I do object to is the falsification of qualifications to do so; after all, any con man/woman worth their salt, should be able to make their living on shear b*****it alone. I think it is immoral to con your way into someone’s home by quoting a bunch of
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AUTUMN AND WINTER With October just around the corner we all have to start thinking again about our autumn/Winter fashion. It is a time to remember that even in Spain the weather can be quite cool especially during the Autumn/Winter months. You’ve probably heard that pink is the colour for autumn, from the dusky, paler shades to the bubblegum pinks which seem to be so popular. It is a really exciting time because this very feminine and flattering palette of dusty, paler shades will coordinate fantastically with all the usual shades of grey, black and navy shades that tend to be popular during the autumn and winter months. This trend should have something for everyone. Remember too that a new coat will give any outfit an instant make-over even though it does tend to be the biggest purchase and hardest item to find. Keep an eye open for sweet princess collars, wide belts, pea coats and plenty of tweed. Single-breasted and double-breasted have both been seen on the catwalk, so go with the style that suits you best, but do remember that a double-breasted coat needs to be worn buttoned up as wearing it undone can look bulky and cumbersome.
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HoroscopeS Your future as foretold by the Sabinillas gipsy VIRGO
(August 23-September 22)
This month gifts and rewards come to you, as well as opportunities to expand your horizon through travel, a broadening of your “audience” if you have one, or higher studies. It’s very important to pace yourself and avoid succumbing to a feeling that you’re running out of time.
LIBRA
(September 23-October 22)
This may be the time when you become clearer and more demonstrative about your feelings or a love relationship. This is also a time to attract positive attention. However, there can be some challenges balancing partnership needs, career matters, and the demands of home and family.
SCORPIO
(October 23-November 21)
A golden opportunity might present itself around the New Moon, when something pleasantly surprising can occur in relation to work and career. Be cautious, however, as you could experience resistance from others, or gossip could be part of the picture.
SAGITTARIUS
(November 22 - December 21)
Domestic matters demand sensitive attention around the Full Moon and responsibilities on the job increase. Guard against risky financial moves, gambling, and the like. You might experience some conflict involving your pursuit of pleasure.
CAPRICORN
(December 22 - January 19)
The New Moon can bring a pleasant surprise involving money, support, family, and home. Some conflict between domestic demands, personal goals, and partnerships can be experienced. A partner may be more concerned with freedom than with pairing, or could be acting extravagantly.
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18)
Some level of overload or the magnification of problems surrounding work or your daily schedule can be experienced as you can feel pulled in different directions due to a chaotic schedule or possibly circumstances that prevent you from fulfilling your responsibilities.
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PISCES
(February 19 – March 20)
Attention to friends or lovers can become an issue. Watch for a tendency to gamble, make impulsive purchases, or lend indiscriminately. Money spent on children, romance, and entertainment can be excessive. You can feel as if others, especially partners, are overly critical or otherwise seeming to rain on your parade.
ARIES
(March 21-April 19)
An old interest might be renewed. Focus is on romance and pleasure, nevertheless both are complicated. New beginnings are in store, whether this means a fresh start in existing relationships or a new one altogether. Partnering comes into focus, and you’ll be busy balancing your own needs with those of a significant other.
TAURUS
(April 20-May 20)
The Full Moon may spark some confusion as it highlights your dreams and ideals regarding your career. Give yourself time to digest everything before making a move. Jupiter’s presence in your communications sector has been expanding your connections and interests, and any excesses or difficulties in these areas can be magnified.
GEMINI
(May 21-June 21)
It’s a great month for making friends through institutes of learning. Progressive outside-of-the-box thinking is important now, as it opens up more opportunities. Venus’ presence in your romance and play sector can bring a lighthearted, positive energy to your love life. Personal appeal increases.
CANCER
(June 22-July 22)
Your dreams and ideals about intimacy can come into focus. Intimate matters could be touchy.Be vigilant when it comes to keeping track of a partner’s finances that may affect you. Jupiter’s presence in your sign has brought a strong need to start over.
LEO
(July 23-August 22)
The urge to get out and about is bound to grab hold of you. Finding a balance can be difficult, but necessary. There is a fair amount of activity in your financial sectors and you can expect some opportunities to improve your financial lot in life.
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THIS MONTH’S RECOMMENDED CAR
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New Mercedes SL 500 AMG 435 BHP
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