Edition 173

Nº 173 Monthly

FREE COPY

YOUR PRINTED SEARCH ENGINE www.webexpressguide.com www.directorymarbella.com www.directorygibraltar.com

PRICKLY PAIR:

La mode anglaise 46 pag

CAR OF THE MONTH:

Mercedes 600 Pullman 50 pag

ITALY IN EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE Cover sponsored by Pasta Caffé

Costa del Sol & Gibraltar Edition

www.webexpressguide.com

1

Они не с другой планеты. Они используют методы лечения также доступные вам.

THEY ARE NOT FROM ANOTHER PLANET. THEY USE MEDICAL THERAPIES THAT ARE ALSO WITHIN YOUR REACH Medical Certificates issued for underwater fishing & diving

Медицинские справки, выданные для подводной рыбалки и дайвинга 2

www.webexpressguide.com

CENTRO MÉDICO HIPERBÁRICO AVDA. ESPAÑA, 242 ESTEPONA – MALAGA Telf. 952 80 67 96 Movil: 663418023 comunicacion@centrohiperbarico.com

ESSENTIAL

INFORMATION

All Emergency Call Emergencies Gibraltar Medical Emergency Guardia Civil Domestic Violence Electric Emergency Gas Emergency Sea Rescue.

112 199 061 062 016 900 850 840 900 202 212 900 202 202

Gibraltar Frontier Hot Line (Queue Info) +350 200 427 77

Hospitals

Ambulance Algeciras Hospital Costa Del Sol Hospital La Línea Hospital Málaga Carlos Haya Hospital

951 222 222 956 026 500 951 976 669 956 026 500 952 390 400

Consulates and Embassies Belgium Denmark France Germany Holland Ireland Italy Norway Sweden Switzerland U.K. U.S.A.

Malaga Malaga Malaga Malaga Malaga Fuengirola Malaga Malaga Fuengirola Malaga Malaga Fuengirola

952 894 056 952 802 002 952 890 029 956 694 005 952771 442 +350 200 749 50

Casares Estepona Sabinillas San Roque Marbella Gibraltar

Airports

952 048 845 952 048 804 956 150 000 954449000 +350 200 730 26

Malaga Arrivals Malaga Departures Jerez Seville Gibraltar

More Help?

A.D.A.N.A. Age Concern Alcoholics Anonymous 952 800 056 Diabetics Support 952 810 077 Narcotics Anonymous 902 333 231 +350 200 722 72 Animals In Need

Cinemas & Telephone Numbers Estepona Veracruz Puerto Banus Gran Marbella La Cañada Gibraltar Kings Bastion

Tourist Offices

952 113 467 650 163 928 600 379 110 952 464 184 902 114 147 607 742 741

952 219 004 952 211 797 954 293 200 952 227 886 952 363 591 952 475 108 912 106 910 952 667 955 952 604 383 952 217 266 902 109 356 952 474 891

www.webexpressguide.com

3

PUBLISHER’S NOTE Sometimes I wonder where we are all going to end up. Do you ever ask yourself this question?

One bit of good news is that the IRPF (tax deduction at source) will now be reduced from 9% to 7% for all new autonomos (self employed) during their first three years in business. At the end of the fiscal year, once the tax form is sent in, any overpayment of tax is then returned, sometime the following year.

Isn’t that generous? In my book this is the government using workers’ money interest free, but they sure charge you interest if you owe them a penny. I am not just talking of Spain this bad habit of getting workers to pay for fat cats is spreading all over Europe.

UK MPs to get 10% more money for the lousy job they are doing?

All these rules and regulations that keep coming up, some under the pretext of fraud avoidance, as far as I can see are intended to control 100% of individual financial freedom just to measure what each individual is worth. Guess why!

Denmark is doing away with cash altogether so that everything has to be bought by credit card or bank transfers; this is one sure way to know everything about each individual in the whole nation.

Now even in the UK the tax man is authorised to extract any amount of cash he deems is owed to him out of your bank account without your consent. Just as in Spain and I believe some other countries too.

What I would like to know is what they are doing with all this money. People in Greece cannot get their own money out of the banks because the banks do no not have it any longer. So what did they do with money that did not belong to them? What is Greece going to do with the 61 billion Euros third bailout?

Well immediately, the first 10 billions are earmarked to be given to banks. That’s a laugh! How much money are the banks going to be permitted to waste …on themselves? Banks are businesses supposedly to make profits, if they cannot pay what they owe they are bankrupt.

The 10 billions should be best used to refund the banks’ clients and close down the banks. This should serve as a lesson to new bankers coming on the scene.

If you listen carefully to what the people are saying: “We want to be in the Eurozone but we do not want austerity measures, meaning “Why should we be made to pay for the greed and stupidity of banks and government with our own hard earned earnings?”

4

www.webexpressguide.com

Editorial feedback and enquiries: editor@webexpressguide.com Website www.webexpressguide.com www.directorycostadelsol.com www.directorymarbella.com www.wxpg.com www.directorygibraltar.com www.du-getit.com Director / Admin Elisabeth Da Costa Almiron Julia H. Gladstone Advertising enquiries: 0034 629 504 003 Contributors Julia Gladstone, Elisabeth Da Costa Almirón BUPA, The Prickly Pair, COCOMO, Sebastian Polinares, Chevalier De Fleuri, Daniel Rubio, Sonia Fendley, Main Feature Sponsored by Pointer Veterinary Clinic, Estepona Publishers Webzine S.L. C.I.F. Nº B-93329081 under licence by E. Gladstone WEB EXPRESS GUIDE © Marbella 296500 - Spain Tel: +34 952 891 773 Mobile: +34 629 504 003 Universal Copyright Registered © 2015 Edwin Gladstone No material contained in this publication may be reproduced or published without the written consent of the publisher.

No responsibility is taken for claims made by advertisers; nor are the views expressed in the editorial columns necessarily the views of the publishers.

Do not forget to see us online. www.webexpressguide.com Please send any comments to editor@webexpressguide.com Express your own view at the end of each article online.

PLEASE TELL ADVERTISERS YOU HAVE SEEN THEM IN WEB EXPRESS GUIDE. THANK YOU. Your own personal hard copy can be posted to you each month for €20 per year.

You may also download a free copy of the magazine from our website at www.webexpressguide.com

www.we

bexpres

editor page It looks like summer is here with avengeance with temperatures reaching the 40º Celsius on the Costa. Most of the residents who can afford to be away have gone to cooler places; and who can blame them?

We certainly seem to have attracted a lot of tourists this year, the beaches seem well crowded, I only hope that when schools abroad close for summer, we shall get a better quality visitor because right now the only businesses doing well are the supermarkets.

Parece que el verano ha llegado con mala leche y con temperaturas que alcanzan los 40º centígrados en la Costa. La mayoría de los residentes que pueden permitirselo se han ido a lugares más frescos y quién puede culparlos?

Sin duda, parece que hemos atraído a una gran cantidad de turistas este año, sólo espero que, cuando las escuelas en el extranjero cierran por el verano, tengamos mejores visitantes porque en este momento los únicos negocios que hacen dinero son los supermercados.

Этим летом на побережье температура достигает 40 гр. Многие местные жители уехали туда, где не так жарко. Мы вызвали большой интерес в этом году у туристов. Пляжи заполнены. Я только надеюсь, когда школы за рубежом закроются на лето, у нас будут более качесвенные клиенты, потому что сейчас хорошо преуспевают только супермаркеты.

sguide.c

om

Index What’s news

8. Did you know that..?

10. Pointer 45. More than just “Gagging”

In my opinion

12. Who wants to live and work on the Costa?

Main Feature

14. Italy in every corner of the globe

Recipe

20. Cajun Blackened Salmon with Black eyed bean salsa

Health & Beauty

34. Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy = Quality of life 44. Antihistamines

Pret a porter

42. It’s up to each of us to help create a better world for our children.

Entertainment 30. Films 46. La Mode Anglaise 48. Humor

Car 50. Mercedes Benz 600 Pullman

www.webexpressguide.com

5

6

www.webexpressguide.com

ГЛОБАЛЬНАЯ ДОСЯГАЕМОСТЬ, ЭКСПЕРТНАЯ ПОМОЩЬ НА МЕСТЕ С начала своей деятельности в 1971 г. компания Bupa International приобрела широкую известность, помогая как отдельным людям и семьям, так и компаниям наладить долгую, здоровую и счастливую жизнь. Сегодня мы являемся одной из ведущих мировых компаний международного медицинского страхования иностранных специалистов и обслуживаем клиентов из более чем 190 стран мира. Компания STM Nummos Life SL тесно сотрудничает с Bupa International, предоставляя высокий уровень индивидуального обслуживания: основываясь на знании местной ситуации, они порекомендуют наилучший план, оптимально соответствующий вашим потребностям, а также помогут вам разобраться в сложных вопросах системы здравоохранения. Чтобы получить дополнительные сведения, свяжитесь с экспертами по медицинскому страхованию:

inforus@stmnummos.com +34 956 789 534 privatehealthcarespain.com Услуги распространения

RUS-BROK-FLYR-STM2-13.1

Услуги страхования

www.webexpressguide.com

7

whats news

Did you Sabias know that..? que...?

More than 50billion apps have now been downloaded from Apple’s App Store. The App Store was launched in 2008 with 500 programmes. There are now more than 850,000, which are downloaded at a rate of 800 a second. Metro To get ahead in business, deepen your voice.

A study of nearly 800 male CEOs in the US has discovered that those with the deepest voices earned more on average that the ones with reedier tones. They also tended to head up bigger firms. The Times Users of Facebook can keep up with trending topics by using a ‘#’ symbol at the beginning of a key phrase, turning it into a link to a page showing what other people are saying about the same subject. The technique was popularised on the web by influential site Twitter. Sky Jiroemon Kimura, named by Guinness World Records as both the world’s oldest person and the oldest man ever to live, died in a Kyoto hospital at 116. A former post office worker, Kimura left seven children, 14 grandchildren, 25 great-grandchildren and 15 great-greatgrandchildren. Daily Express One million families are taking out payday loans every month and half find they cannot cover the cost of repayments. The survey for Which? found that nearly 400,000 use the funding to pay for basics such as food and fuel, while 240,000 take the loans out to pay off existing credit. Independent on Sunday

8

www.webexpressguide.com

Unas bragas de la reina Victoria se subastan por el récord de 17.200 euros. Londres, 11 jul (EFE).- Una amplias bragas de algodón de la reina Victoria se subastaron hoy por la cifra récord de 12.390 libras (17.200 euros) en la casa Chippenham Auction Rooms, en el condado inglés de Wiltshire. Todas las piezas, procedentes del Museo del Mundo de Ayer del condado inglés de East Sussex, llevan el sello “VR”, que significa Victoria Regina o reina Victoria, confirmó uno de los subastadores, Richard Edmonds.

La policía belga intenta llevarse el coche de Napoleón en Waterloo. Insólita disputa a pocas horas de que comience una grandiosa recreación de la batalla librada hace 200 años en tierras belgas. La anécdota, detallada por el diario La Libre Belgique, se ha producido a pocas horas de que comiencen los actos de recreación de la batalla, un grandioso espectáculo que ha movilizado a 6.000 actores procedentes de toda Europa, 300 caballos y un centenar de cañones en el área de Waterloo donde hace 200 años varios ejércitos de Europa frenaron de una vez los pies a las ansias expansionistas del emperador francés. La Vanguardia EEUU: Toro persigue a sospechoso de robo ARAB, Alabama, EE.UU. (AP) — Un sospechoso de robo en el estado de Alabama fue arrestado luego de ser perseguido por un toro a través de un prado. Brad Lynn Hemby, de 26 años, era buscado en relación con un robo. El comisario dijo que cuando Hemby trató de huir de los agentes a través de un prado, un toro se sumó a la persecución.

Finalmente, el sospechoso tropezó con una alambrada de púas y se entregó.

Children & Adult Lessons

Дети и уроки для взрослых

Easter & Summer Courses Daily or weekly courses Пасхальные и летние курсы ежедневно или еженедельно

Social Activities

культурно-просветительные мероприятия

Pony Birthday Parties День рождения Стороны с пони

Gymkana & Games Days Gymkana & Игры дня

www.webexpressguide.com

9

DISCOVERING AN AUTHOR

As promised on our earlier edition, we enclose some photos of the new POINTER CLINIC premises in Estepona

Mumbai Palace

INDIAN RESTAURANT AUTHENTIC INDIAN FOOD

AIR CONDITIONED

TAKEAWAY SERVICE ALSO AVAIBLE Sunday Open Buffet 13:00 to 22:30 Open every dat from 13:00 to 15:30 & 19:00 till late Menu of the day from 10 pm to 3.30pm from 7.50€

Paseo Marítimo Sabinillas

10

www.webexpressguide.com

Tel: 952 89 37 67 - 626 62 20 36

Tel: 722 118 366 - Email: Albert@terraluzspain.com www.webexpressguide.com 11 952 88 23 22 - www.terraluz.ru

IN MY OPINION

Who wants to live and work on the Costa?

Can your life really change for the better?

“You have been out to a party and got stoned. So the next day you turn up at work one or two hours late, if you do at all, and, shortly after you arrive, you go out to the local café because you must have breakfast of course (or a “hair of the dog”).

12

www.webexpressguide.com

In my opinion

Naturally you deserve a bit of respect from your employer, after all you are doing him a favour to turn up at all and use his telephone to call your friends and his computer to surf the net and keep in touch with everyone else you know.

That bit of activity in between all of this would seem to be defined as work for which you do not seem to be paid enough, so you ask for a well deserved raise. After all, how could they cope without you?

Who else would be mug enough to do the job?

When you sense that you have pushed your luck far enough and that you are going to be sacked anyway, you find some other unsuspecting employer who will buy you some more time, and leave without notice.”

Once you run out of employment options, you start looking at self employment and what ideas and clients you might pinch from others who make an honest living.

This is undoubtedly the reason why there are so many cowboys around.

Can you imagine this really happening?

Well, it does and I don’t know what makes some people think that they can do this here on the Costa del Sol? I really don’t know what happens to some people after they arrive in Spain.

Does their brain melt under the sun? Do they really believe they will be on a long, life lasting holiday? Do they come here thinking that work on the Costa means pretending to work? And, it does not just apply to employees! The self employed can be as bad if not worse. To run a business you need self discipline. How many bar owners have you seen go out of business because they think they should join their

clients or, even better the party, every night? Or advertise breakfast and not open until gone 10 or 11 am.?

What makes some people think that they are owed a living? Going still further, it seems to extend to some people expecting to be supplied with goods and services for free. I can understand the Queen not carrying any money with her, but when a cheapskate looks for ways to underpay, not to pay and have things for nothing I think this is equivalent to theft. What make them think they are better and entitled to use and abuse others? What part of their brain gets left behind when they come to live here?

The Costa del Sol is a wonderful place where to live in. It is naturally gifted with a mild Mediterranean climate, next to the sea and beaches, yet not far from mountains, lakes, rivers and forests. The food is healthy; drinks are plentiful and inexpensive by comparison, the locals are usually friendly and gregarious and life is generally jollier.

The fact that it is a nice place to live in is the bonus for which most sensible people have come to live here, the rest is the same as anywhere in the world, meaning that, unless you are retired or wealthy enough to be self supporting, then you have to work and be sensible like the rest of us and not just take the p..ss. Please do come, but with the right frame of mind.

Regretfully however some employers tend to take advantage of their workers. Non payment of wages or agreed rates with self employed personnel, poor remuneration for results achieved, lack of appreciation of worker’s loyalty and so on are factors that seriously contribute to a non reliable workers behaviour. www.webexpressguide.com

13

Main feature

Italy in every corner of the globe ITALIA EN CADA ESQUINA DEL GLOBO

Италия в каждом уголке мира

14

There’s much more to Italian cuisine than pizza, pasta, tomatoes and olive oil-

Hay mucho más en la cocina italiana que pizza, pasta , tomate.

Article sponsored by Pasta Caffé in Nueva Andalucia.

Articulo patrocinado por Pasta Caffé en Nueva Andalucia.

Every country in the world has its own national dishes, Cous Cous, Paella, Burritos, Mousaka, Peking Duck, Borsch and so on. Some people might like some others might not but one thing is sure, everybody likes Italian cuisine. This is evidenced by the number of Italian restaurants in every corner of the world from Japan and China to everywhere in Europe and of course the USA. Even in Russia where there are 4/500 Italian restaurants in Moscow alone.

Cada país en el mundo tiene sus propios platos nacionales, Cous Cous, Paella, Burritos, mousaka, Peking Duck, Borsch y así sucesivamente.

A algunas personas les puede gustar o no, pero una cosa es cierta, la comida italiana siempre gusta. Prueba de ello es el gran número de restaurantes italianos en todos los rincones del mundo de Japón y China a toda Europa y por supuesto el EE.UU..

Incluso en Rusia donde hay 4/500 restaurantes italianos en Moscú.

www.webexpressguide.com

Итальянская кухня - это намного больше чем пицца, паста, помидоры и оливковое масло. Спонсор статьи Pasta Caffé в Нуэва Андалусия В каждой стране мира есть свое национальное блюдо, кускус, паэлья, бурритос, пекинская утка, борщ и другие. Из этого кому-то что-то нравится. кому-то нет, но точно все любят итальянскую кухню. Об этом свидетельствует количество итальянских ресторанов в каждом уголке мира от Японии и Китая, по всей Европе и, конечно, в США. Даже в России, только в одной Москве, насчитывается 4500 итальянских ресторанов.

spaghetti vodka

Pasta Ca Caf ff é Very good value Main Menu supplemented with weekly Lunch* and Dinner Menus.*

Excellent food, excellent service and ambiance in large comfortable settings and glorious outside terrace.

MAKE PASTA CAFFÉ YOUR REGULAR RESTAURANT Estepona

Calle El Califa s/n Edif. Las Lolas Bloque C, 29660 Marbella, Málaga Phone:+34 952 90 60 70 Email: info@pastacaffe.com Web: www.pastacaffe.com

Puerto Banús Marbella

*Available during low season only

www.webexpressguide.com

15

Main feature

Of course Italian cuisine has reached such popular proportions that not all these eateries serve the real thing, this is why, outside of Italy, you should be sure to choose the right restaurant.

While pasta and pizza are the best known basic dishes, there are hundreds of different types and recipes to satisfy any palate. Since the middle ages Italy consisted of separate republics, each with different culinary customs. These varying cooking practices, which were passed down from generation to generation, contributed to the diversity of today’s Italian cuisine.

16

To give some idea, there are more than 400 types of cheeses made in Italy, with Parmesan, mozzarella, and asiago among the best known worldwide.

Prosciutto ham, the most

www.webexpressguide.com

Por supuesto la cocina italiana ha alcanzado tales proporciones populares que no todos estos restaurantes sirven autentica cocina italiana, por ello usted debe estar seguro de elegir un buen restaurante.

Конечно, из-за такой популярности, получить настоящую итальянскую еду во всех местах невозможно. Поэтому за пределами Италии, нужно быть уверенным, что выбираешь правилный ресторан.

La pasta y la pizza son los platos más conocidas, pero son cientos de diferentes tipos y recetas que pueden satisfacer cualquier paladar.

En la Edad Media Italia estaba dividida en repúblicas independientes, cada uno con diferentes costumbres culinarias. Estas prácticas de cocina diferentes, que se transmiten de generación en generación, han contribuido a la diversidad de la cocina italiana de hoy en día.

В то время как паста и пицца являются самыми известными блюдами, есть сотни вариантов разных блюд на любой вкус. Поскольку в средние века Италия состояла из отдельных республик, каждая имела свои кулинарные традиции. Эти различные способы приготовления передавались из поколения в поколение, что и обеспечило многообразие современной итальянской кухни.

Para dar una idea, hay más de 400 tipos de quesos elaborados en Italia, queso parmesano, mozzarella y siago entre los más conocidos

Для примера: существует более 400 видов сыров, произведенных в Италии.

popular ingredient of the Italian antipasto was first made in Parma, a city that also gave its name to Parmesan cheese. While cheese plays an important part, Italians are known for their use of herbs in cooking, especially oregano, basil, thyme, parsley, rosemary, and sage, each used tactfully to enhance the dish it is meant for.

With so many Italian restaurants competing with each other and other types of restaurants too, a new slant has been created and inspired by the Italian immigrants to the USA.

en todo el mundo. Jamón Prosciutto, el ingrediente más popular del antipasto italiano se hizo por primera vez en Parma, una ciudad que también dio su nombre al queso parmesano. Mientras que el queso tiene un papel importante, los italianos son conocidos por su uso de hierbas en la cocina, especialmente el orégano, la albahaca, el tomillo, el perejil, el romero y la salvia, cada uno se utiliza con mucho tacto para mejorar el plato que se ha diseñado.

Con tantos restaurantes italianos que compiten entre sí y con otros tipos de restaurantes también, When over 5 million Italians un nuevo punto de vista ha arrived in New York between sido creado e inspirado por 1880 and 1910, accustomed los inmigrantes italianos de to their own way of cooking, EE.UU. they had to adapt to using local ingredients, thus Cuando más de 5 millones transforming to a new de italianos llegaron a cuisine with Italian origin, Nueva York entre 1880 y somewhat different from 1910, acostumbrado a su what you would expect in propia manera de cocinar, restaurants in Italy. tuvieron que adaptarse al uso de ingredientes locales, When you can get your transformando así en una spaghetti Bolognese, pizza nueva cocina con origen

Самые известные моцарелла, пармезан и азиаго. Прошутто - самый популярный ингридиент итальянской антипасты, впервые был сделан в Парме, городе, который также дал имя сыру пармезан. Хoтя сыр играет важную роль, итальянцы также известны использованием зелени в кулинарии, особенно орегано, базилик, тимьян, петрушка, розмарин и шалфей. С таким количеством итальянских ресторанов, конкурирующих между собой, новое направление было создано итальянскими иммиграмтами в США. Когда более 5 миллионов итальянцев прибыло в Нью-Йорк между 1880 и 1910 годами, они, привыкшие к своим способам приготовления еды, начали адаптировать местные ингридиенты, таким образом, переходя к новой кухне итальянского происхождения, которая отличается от того, что

www.webexpressguide.com

17

Main feature

margherita, ravioli o lasagne in hundreds of restaurants within a short distance, then it is necessary to impress your clients with something traditional but really good and even take it further with new re-inventions of some recipes to make them unique. For instance I am dying to try the SPAGHETTI AL VODKA, created by Pasta Caffé in Nueva Andalucia or may be the TAGLIATELLE CON POLLO AL LIMONE. Luckily in Spain the necessary, original ingredients are easily available, indeed we even have more ingredients to be creative with and make full use of a very popular cuisine combined with the right service and ambiance that make the restaurant your personal favourite choice. italiano, un poco diferente de lo que se puede esperar en los restaurantes de Italia.

Cuando puede conseguir espaguetis boloñesa, pizza margarita, ravioles o lasaña en cientos de restaurantes en un radio pequeño, entonces es necesario impresionar a sus clientes con algo tradicional, pero muy bueno e incluso ir más lejos rediseñando algunas recetas para hacerlas únicas.

Por ejemplo me muero por probar el Spaghetti al VODKA, creado por Pasta Caffé en Nueva Andalucia, o puede ser el TAGLIATELLE CON POLLO AL LIMONE. Por suerte, en España, es fácil conseguir ingredientes ожидаешь увидеть в ресторане в Италии. Когда можно заказать спагетти Болоньезе, пиццу Маргариту, равиоли или лазанью в сотнях ресторанах, становится необходимостью производить впечатление на клиентов чем-то традиционным, но действительно хорошим и даже на этой основе создавать новые варианты уникальных рецептов. Например, полный восторг вызывает спагетти аль водка, созданная Pasta Caffé в Нуэва Андалусия и тальятелле с курицей и лимоном. К счастью, в Испании оригинальные ингридиенты легко доступны, на самом деле у нас даже есть больше ингридиентов для творчества и мы используем 18

www.webexpressguide.com

Remember that regular visits to a restaurant make you a very important person; visiting the same restaurant a couple of times a month (or more) makes you an extra special client that needs to be well looked after.

originales, de hecho tenemos incluso más ingredientes que los hacen ser mas creativos y combinado con el servicio adecuado y un buen ambiente hacen que este restaurante sea su elección predilecta.

Recuerde que las visitas regulares a un restaurante te hacen una persona muy importante; visitar el mismo restaurante un par de veces al mes (o más) que hace que un cliente ordinario se convierta en especial.

популярную кухню в сочетании с хорошим обслуживанием и атмосферой, что делает ресторан вашим любимым Помните, что регулярные посещения ресторана, раз в месяц или чаще, делают вас очень важным клиентом.

Otoclinic

The leading hearing aid specialist

Estepona Osteopathic Clinic

The British Hearing Centre

Estepona

Gibraltar

+34 625 957 673

+(350) 200 40563

Avda. de España 124 - 1D

Designed by Web Express Guide ©

VALUABLE HELP IS AVAILABLE FOR TINNITUS SUFFERERS

Designed by Web Express Guide ©

Stop missing out on conversations!

FREE NO OBLIGATION HEARING TEST Find out how easily you can improve your hearing.

Digital Hearing Aids from well known manufacturers also invisible aids.

25 City Mill Lane

SPECIALIST TREATMENT

for Back, Neck and Limb Pain Sports Injuries Children Expectant Mothers

Open Monday to Friday 10:00 to 14:00 & 17:00 to 20:00

Clinics also in Marbella, La Linea, Algeciras, Ronda, Antequera, Velez-Malaga.

Further details on www.otoclinic.es Calle Real 48, Estepona - Tel: 952 796 181

Paul Knight BSc (Hons) Ost. Osteopath / U.K Registered

paulfknight@hotmail.com

www.webexpressguide.com

19

The recipe by the Chef at COCOMO Cocktail Bar & Restaurant

rECIPE

Cajun Blackened Salmon with Black eyed bean salsa Give salmon some kick by adding a little Cajun spice, plus a hearty salsa of blackeyed beans and avocado. (Try adding boiled new potatoes in their skins if you want a more filling meal.

Ingredients • • • • •

3 tbsp Cajun seasoning 1 tsp dried oregano 4 salmon fillets, about 75g/3oz each sunflower oil. to brush lime wedges, to garnish

For the salsa • • • • • • • 20

400g tin black-eyed beans, rinsed and drained 2 tbsp olive oil 1 avocado, peeled, stoned and chopped 2 plum tomatoes, finely chopped 1 yellow peppe, deseeded and finely chopped 2 tbsp lime juice salt and freshly ground black pepper

www.webexpressguide.com

Preparation method 1. Mix together the Cajun seasoning and oregano in a shallow bowl.

2. Brush the salmon on both sides with a little oil and coat with the spice mix, making sure the fish is completely covered. Set aside.

3. Meanwhile, for the salsa mix together all the ingredients in a bowl. Season to taste and set aside.

4. Heat a frying pan over medium heat, dry fry the salmon for 4 minutes on each side.

5. Slice the salmon and spoon the salsa over, garnish with lime wedges and serve.

“Adventures in Imagination”

We bring food together

COCOMO

Cocktail Bar & Restaurant

“Where good food is born out of love” Reservation Recommended 685 218 054

Next to the Senator Banus Spa Hotel

www.webexpressguide.com

21

Carmen

A genuine Italian family restaurant The only restaurant in Laguna Village with a terrace and fantastic views of the Mediterranean

Pasta, Meat, Fish and real Pizza and as we are in Spain even Paella.

Try our Italian buffet breakfast

Open from 9 am to 1 am Tel: 952 806 739 www.webexpressguide.com 22 Michele restaurante carmen

Laguna Village, A7 (N340) Km 159 Estepona

Prime quality Argentinian steaks!!

Sunday Roast served from 13:00 to 16:00 Live music Spectacular setting with beautiful terrace

Open every day 12 noon till late

www.webexpressguide.com

Please mention The Local when responding to advertisements Page 53

23

TAJ MAHAL

INDIAN RESTAURANT

The Authentic flavour of India

HO TAKE ME AW SE DE AY AV RVIC LIVER AIL ES Y AB LE

Open every day from 13:00 to 16:00 & 19:00 till late

TEL: 952 890 651 & Mob: 606 705 728 www.webexpressguide.com 24Puerto de la Duquesa -

Plaza de la Fuente - Edif. Delfín Nº 9 SABINILLAS 29692 - Manilva - Malaga

Ar g

n B BQ t o

or

r de

en

ia tin

Q

ar go

BB Co

A

rg nc e ent ina por

BO S

ff ee Ca fé or t y t apa ap s as

QU IP Birthday Parties

Fiestas de cumpleaños y comuniones

AR K Play

Area

s

ego de ju Area

The ideal place for a coffee, tapas or meal in modern, clean, fresh looking surroundings with large play area for children and spacious fenced gardens.

Un lugar ideal para tomarse un café y unas tapas en un ambiente moderno y fresco, donde además tenemos una gran area de juegos y jardines donde los niños podrán correr y divertirse

Tel: 666 637 196 Spanish - 625 402 350 English www.webexpressguide.com 25 Calle Pasionaria, 1 - Behind Post Office Sabinillas - Detrás del Correo en Sabinillas

Probably the Best Asian Free Buffet Restaurant on the Costa del Sol Один из самых лучших китайских ресторанов, предлагающих «шведский стол» на Коста-дель-Соль

Lunch €9.95 Evening €11.95 Weekends & Holidays €12.95 Children under 7 years €5.95

SAN PEDRO

26

www.webexpressguide.com

+34 952 883 788 Avenida Benamara, Urb. Paraiso Barronal, N340 - Km. 167.2

Real Value for Money

“LA CASITA”

INTERNATIONAL RESTAURANT

Calle Fernando Pessoa, Edif. Acapulco.

Sabinillas (Opposite Children Park & Car Park)

Booking/Reservas 27 Tel.www.webexpressguide.com 952 892 173

Sacarello’s also offers a varied comprehensive homemade lunch menu with a balance of traditional English dishes.

57 Irish Town, Gibraltar info@sacarellosgibraltar.com www.sacarellosgibraltar.com

Designed by Web Express Guide ©

Renowned for its freshly roasted coffees and its homemade cakes for a traditional afternoon high-tea or a morning coffee break at any time.

Please call us for an appointment

952 80 41 65

24 hour emergency service Tel: 689 06 95 02 Our qualified, professional and friendly team is waiting to welcome you and your pets to our new modern facilities.

Francisco Camero Servicios Funerarios

Now we have a large car park too.

Open: Mon to Fri 10am to 2pm & 3pm to 6pm Saturdays from 11am to 2pm

A7 km 160.5, La Alberdina s/n Estepona

Tel: 952 173 602

info@pointerclinic.com www.pointerclinic.com

• • •

English Bread Bakers Pan de Molde Ingles Fresh Bake

• •

Thick Sliced Bread Sandwich Bread

Poligono Industrial, El Cañuelo 12-17, Pueblo Nuevo de Guadiaro, Cádiz Telephone: +34 956 614 000 info@pan-ingles.com http://www.pan-ingles.com/

Designed by Web Express Guide ©

Original English Bread Bakers, specialists in sliced bread production.

For further information contact Charles Cruz

PET HOTEL

Residencia para su mascota

IRON WORK'S

Security Grills · Gates · Furniture

Peluqueria Canina Dog Grooming 952 79 63 04 - 639 72 12 23 AFABSC@yahoo.es C/ Arquimedes, 11 - Pol. Ind. Estepona 28 www.webexpressguide.com

682 297 341

www.bingocan.es - brigrcy@hotmail.com

Typical SpaniSh ReSTauRanT/BaR caSTillO De la DuqueSa

GOOD SelecTiOn OF TapaS aSSORTeD plaTTeRS SeRRanO ham, cheeSe, chORizO, Salami

hOme maDe caRmOna BReaD Daily FReSh FiSh & Sea FOOD paellaS meaTS SalaDS TapaS & Full pORTiOnS availaBle

www.webexpressguide.com

29

films

New Films & DVDs TERMINATOR 5

Madame Bovary

Action, Adventure,

Drama

Sci-Fi, Thriller

Director: Sophie Barthes

Director: Alan Taylor

Stars: AMia Wasikowska, Laura

Stars: : Jason Clarke, Arnold

Carmichael, Ezra Miller, Paul

Schwarzenegger, Jai Courtney,

Giamatti, Rhys Ifans, Logan

Emilia Clarke

Marshall-Green

Arnold Schwarzenegger promised “I’ll be back,” and he will be back – exactly 30 years after the first The Terminator In the press release the movie studios made mention that this Terminator, Terminator: Genesis, is not a sequel, but the first, in a stand-alone trilogy.

Set in Normandy, France, Madame Bovary is Gustave Flaubert’s classic story of Emma Bovary, a young beauty who impulsively marries small-town doctor, Charles Bovary to leave her father’s pig farm far behind. But she soon becomes bored with her stodgy husband and seeks prestige and excitement outside of marriage.

What We Did On Our Holiday

I Lived

Comedy, Drama

Mistery, Thriller

Director: Andy Hamilton,

Director: Franck Khalfoun

Guy Jenkin

Stars: :Sarah Power, Shannon

Stars: Rosamund Pike, David

Collis, Franck Khalfoun, Jan

Tennant, Billy Connolly, Ben

Broberg, Josh Cowdery, Elaine

Miller, Celia Imrie, Emilia Jones

Partnow, Luis Fernandez-Gil

Surrounded by relatives, the kids innocently reveal many intimate details about their parents.

It’s soon clear that when it comes to keeping a big secret under wraps from the rest of the family, their children are their biggest liability.

International

30

Dental Clinic www.webexpressguide.com

Josh Fosse’s girl left, his rent is late, and he lacks a real job. He decides to review a self-help app called I Lived for fun. He signs on and his life turns around. He meets the girl of his dreams and gets a job offer he can’t refuse. Convinced it’s not the app, he signs out… and loses everything. He signs on again, but this time the terms are different

Dra. Sylvia Kromke Calle Mijas - Sabinillas

Tel: 952 891 741 Móvil: 626 925 229

24H

www.webexpressguide.com

31

32

www.webexpressguide.com

Distributed by

Insured by

ARE YOU SUFFICIENTLY COVERED FOR YOUR HEALTHCARE NEEDS?

As an expat living in Spain, accessing the right kind of healthcare provision can prove difficult. If you are not covered, treatment can be expensive and often beyond most people’s means. This is not to mention the added complication of doing this in another language.

STM Nummos Life SL are registered intermediaries for Bupa Global and offer comprehensive and affordable packages designed to provide you with a tailored healthcare solution that provides peace of mind for you and your family.

Our team of client relationship managers are bilingual and provide the following services to new and existing Bupa clients: ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡

assisting customers in finding the appropriate medical provider obtaining pre-authorisation for hospitalisation, operations and scans claims assistance advising on policy matters and renewal providing information on new products and promotions

Our service is highly personalised and free of charge, capitalising on our local knowledge and relationships with Bupa. We are able to advise you on the best plan to suit your needs and guide you through the pitfalls that can be experienced when living in Spain, particularly if you don’t speak the language. Even if you are an existing Bupa customers, appointing STM Nummos Life will mean access to local assistance at no additional cost.

To find out more, contact our health insurance experts: sonia.fendley@stmnummos.com +34 956 796 148 privatehealthcarespain.com Чтобы получить дополнительные сведения, свяжитесь с экспертами по медицинскому страхованию: inforus@stmnummos.com

www.webexpressguide.com

33

Health & Beauty

Гипербарическая кислородная терапия = качество жизни Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy = Quality of life Гипербарическая кислородная терапия заключается в размещении пациента внутри камеры под более высоким, чем обычно, давлением воздуха, таким образом позволяя ему дышать 100 процентно чистым кислородом. В этих условиях кислород обладает терапевтическим воздействием, и в особенности рекомендован для уменьшения воспалений и отёков, облегчения последствий лучевой терапии, ускорения восстановления после повреждений нервной системы, стимуляции коллагена, способствования заживления сложных ранений и проблем диабетических стоп предотвращая ампутацию, улучшения восстановления после спортивных травм и хронической усталости. Он также контролирует инфекции, тормозя анаэробные бактерии, повышает эффект от некоторых антибиотиков, увеличивает репродукцию клеток, реверсирует развитие гипоксического состояния и мобилизирует стволовые клетки из костного мозга. Фактически, циркуляция кислорода в крови в более высокой концентрации, чем обычно, даёт общее улучшение в организме. Барокамера гипербарического медицинского центра изготовлена из полностью прозрачного материала. Она рассчитана на одного человека, гигиенична, удобна в использовании и является единственной в провинции Малага.

34

www.webexpressguide.com

Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy consists of placing the patient in a chamber under a higher than normal air pressure so that they can breathe 100 per cent pure oxygen Under these conditions, the oxygen has a therapeutic effect and is especially recommended for reducing inflammation and oedema, relieving the effects of radiotherapy treatments, accelerating recovery from neurological damage, stimulating collagen, encouraging the healing of difficult injuries and diabetic foot problems avoiding amputation, improving recovery from sports injuries and chronic tiredness, it controls infections inhibiting anaerobic bacteria, it boosts the effect of some antibiotics, it increases cell reproduction, it reverses hypoxic condiction and it mobilizes stem cells from bone marrow.

In fact, the oxygen circulating through the blood at a higher concentration than usual provides a general improvement to the organism.

The hyperbaric chamber at the Hyperbaric Medical Centre is made of a completely transparent material. It is for one person, it is hygienic, comfortable to use and is unique in Malaga province.

Complete range of passengers travel & transport services.

We specialize in door-to-door airport transfers, sightseeing tours, corporate rides and customized trips for individual clients and groups.

Safety, Comfort, Elegance...at the most affordable rates

COACHES, MINIBUSES, PEOPLE CARRIERS & CARS WITH DRIVER

GARCATRI COACHES & TRANSFERS Tel.: +34 952 791 680 | Mob.: +34 651 470 638 www.webexpressguide.com 35 E-mail: reservations@garcatri.com | www.garcatri.com

Would you like your business to be well known?

Advertise with us and your business will get to be known for very little cost each month. We offer personalized designs and a large distribution.

Call us on 629 504 003 or email & we’ll get together

WITH NO COMMITMENT www.webexpressguide.com

AFAB metalwork

All types of handmade iron work undertaken.

Call us for a free estimate. A professional company established on the Coast for more than 15 years.

• • • • • •

Handmade Iron Works Metal Security Grills Balustrades Automatic Gates to measure Handmade Iron Furniture High Quality Handmade Iron or other metal work

Handmade iron work Poligono Industrial, Calle Arquimedes 11 Estepona, Malaga 36 www.webexpressguide.com

Tel: 952 79 63 04 Mov: 639 721 223 & 657 756 223 AFABSC@yahoo.es

PLUMBING PROPERTY MAINTENANCE SERVICES

PPMS

MARK SIMPSON

FONTANERÍA – PLUMBER British Engineer with over 25 years experience

EXCLUSIVE IMPORTERS & DISTRIBUTORS in Gibraltar and Spain for

(Kraft) PRODUCTS Allied Exports Ltd Unit 17 The New Harbours P.O Boix 645 For futher information contact Chris Watkins Gibraltar Tel:+350 20075109

Mob: +34 664 050 550 - Tel: +34 951 977 415 mark.simpson3@gmail.com

ATR SPAIN

CONTRUCTION SPECIALIST EXTENSIONS - REFORMS - NEW BUILD Your project completed on time & on budget Insurance covered and fully legal Architects drawings with permissions & licences From groundwork to roofs Designer kitchens & bathrooms

Damp problems solved & up to 30 yrs guarantee

678 962 588 - 617 992 644 www.atrspain.com info@atrspain.com

www.webexpressguide.com

37

Designed by Web Express Guide ©

www.fnac.es

Tapas Full Portions Mixed Platters Fresh Fish

Books · DVD · Games Music · Films · Software Parque Comercial La Cañada Autovia Salida Ojén s/n 29600 Marbella (Málaga)

952 89 93 05

HERBOLARIO La Sabina Juan Antonio de la Torre Tel: 952 89 32 61 Calle Duquesa de Arcos, Edif. Torremar Local 3. (Sabinillas) 29692 MALAGA

Rudy García Estate Agent Since 1986

Bloque el Boquerón Tel: 952891541 & 689195723

www.rudyproperties.com

Brea

from

kfas

8.30

Tel: +34 658 295 009 Paseo Maritimo by the Beach - Sabinillas

BIA

Designed by Web Express Guide ©

EST 1946

Roasting Tins, Stainless Steel Pans, Kitchen Scales, Utensils, Wok, Gadgets, Cutlery, Crockery & much, much more Gibraltar’s Best Sotcked English Cookshop!

46, Irish Town, PO Box 136, Gibraltar Tel. +350 20075188 Fax + 350 20072653

Designed by Web Express Guide ©

Tapas & Meals Silver & Fashion’s

Tapas y Raciones SEA FOOD RISOTTO ARROZ MARINERA

952 892 589

FRIED FISH FRITURA DE PESCADO MIXED PAELLA PAELLA MIXTA

asesoría

38

c/ Miguel Delibes nº9 Tel: 952 897 470 Fax: 952 93 63 93 info@mangilasesoria.es

www.webexpressguide.com

t

am

MEAT ONLY PAELLA PAELLA SOLO DE CARNE ROUND BREAD DEL CARMONA ROSCA DEL CARMONA

Tel: 678 28 75 41 Plaza Mirimar 3 Castillo de la Duquesa

ww

Gets It!

du-g w. e comtit.

Business Directory

What’s more important “DO YOU GET IT?” We have been asking this since 2011 other directories are just imitations!!

Of course you can search our business directory where our advertisers get a whole internet page but what’s more important you can search Google to get the advertisers in our directory.

That’s a big difference! ly

Nº 157

onth

2M

Nº 16

Monthly

Nº 159

FREE

Y COP

INE

NE ENGI ARCHe.com D SE guid m INTExpress lla.co R PR be arbe YOUwww.we ectorym dir

RCH ENG e.com NTED SEA YOUR PRI ebexpressguid www.w

Monthly

PY

FREE CO

m rbella.co m ctoryma www.dire ctorygibaltar.co www.dire

FREE CO

PY

YOUR PRI NTED SEA www.w ebexpress RCH ENGINE guide.co www.dire m ctorymarb www ella.c gibaltar.c om om

.directory

YO UR ww PR w.w INT e ED ww w.d bex preSEAR irec to rym ssg CH E arbe uid e.c NG lla .com om IN E

Nº

FR

EE

16

0M

on

CO P

Y

w.

ww

Rio

de R la JaAnIe К edo C B асы Vive eD нй a ’ ЭUкс2це0нт1ри4рчнir g а a ‘СудьбeFatnce ofethe eccentricая каrрdтоto R чка ac Ther ра ism Diffe l& l So a de Cost

Co sta Cos ition ar Edition ta del Sol & Gibdel raltSar r Ed & Gibralt ol Edition raltata del Sol &G Gib Cos ibra lta

Win ad inn e at C r for OC two Вы дво игр See OMO ай pag . их e у См в “ отр COC жин 4 н ис тра OMO а ни ”! цу 4

rE dit ion

сиз

му

And you can also get to our business directory at www.directorycostadelsol.com www.directorymabella.com www.directorygibraltar.com

DO YOU GET IT NOW? www.webexpressguide.com

39

th

ly

PRET A PORTER

It’s up to each of us to help create a better world for our children.

Dr. Benjamin Spock

Discover the best in children clothing design from babies, kids and teens. The kids fashion industry has grown immensely in the past few years from leading men’s and women’s runway designers to independent kids fashion designers.

40

www.webexpressguide.com

Orange Polo & Skirt/Shirt

Little Hearts Dress

www.webexpressguide.com

41

Summer dress

PlisĂŠ Dress

Striped Polo by

Original brands and great discounts at Terraluz OUTLET

FACTORY PRICES

Fashion Outlet

42

www.webexpressguide.com

The highest brands at the lowest prices Mens – Ladies – Children - Accessories Including bags, belts & more

including the very exclusive

FACTORY PRICES

Fashion Outlet URB: BEL-AIR CTR 340 Exit km 166 Cancelada - Estepona

Tel: 952 88 23 22 Outlet@terraluzspain.com www.webexpressguide.com 43

Health & Beauty

Antihistamines Extract taken from Bupa International Health information and supplied by Sonia Fendley. Director STM NU Nummos Life SL Antihistamines are commonly used to treat allergic reactions and some types of antihistamines help relieve the symptoms of sickness, vertigo and insomnia.

Allergic reactions include: Hay fever • Allergic skin conditions, such as urticaria (hives) and dermatitis • Itching • Insect bites or stings There are two main types of antihistamines Sedating: These can affect your brain, causing you to become drowsy. An example of a sedating antihistamine is chlorphenamine maleate (eg Piriton).

Non-sedating: The newer types of antihistamines have less of an effect on your brain and won’t make you so drowsy. Acrivastine (eg Benadryl) is an example of a non-sedating antihistamine.

Your immune system protects you from harmful substances like bacteria and viruses by producing antibodies which help to remove these. In an allergic reaction, your immune system reacts to a harmless substance such as pollen, because it mistakes it as harmful and histamine is released. Histamine helps damaged tissue to heal, however it can also cause symptoms such as: a runny nose - itchy eyes, nose, throat and skin – sneezing – 44

www.webexpressguide.com

urticaria. Antihistamines work by blocking the effect of histamine in your body. This helps to prevent inflammation and eases allergic reactions.

If you have a severe allergic reaction, it’s important that you get medical help immediately as it can be very serious. You may then be given an injection of adrenaline, sometimes an injection of an antihistamine is used in addition to adrenaline.

Some antihistamines are available without a prescription (eg: chlorphenamine maleate (eg Piriton), loratadine (eg Clarityn) and cetirizine (eg Zirtek).

Others are only available on prescription as they could have side-effects or interactions with other medicines you might be taking.

Depending on what you need antihistamines for; you can take them as tablets, liquids, nasal sprays or a cream. Only use creams for a short amount of time to avoid an allergic reaction and don’t use creams on broken skin, unless your GP has said that you can do so.

WHATS NEWS

1

. Holding demonstrations without first reporting to the authorities.

10

2

. Intimidating people with the use objects that threaten injury of death.

11

. Negligence in looking after the legally required personal documents, after a third loss in one year.

3 More than just

“Gagging” There are 44 offences listed under the new “gagging” law that came into force on first of July.

While the press and would be demonstrators protest to safeguard their freedom of expression and opinion, the so called “gagging” law goes beyond apparencies.

Penalties have been set and divided into three categories:

Very Serious Offences with penalties

between €30.001 and €600.00 Serious Offences ranging between €601 and €30.000 Light Offences starting at €100 to €600 For the sake of this article we shall list the light offences which would affect everyone walking in the street.

. Not having the legally required personal documents or failing to report their loss.

. Failure to adhere to pedestrian traffic restrictions or itinerary during a public event.

12

. Causing damage to movable or immovable property of public or private use that are in the street.

. Refusing to give documents to the police.

4

. Lack of respect and consideration for members of the Security Forces in the performance of their duties.

13

5

. Inciting against sexual freedom and or perform obscene acts.

14

. Climbing buildings or monuments without authorization when there is risk of damage.

6

. Shining lights with any device on members of the Security Forces that prevent or hinder their duties.

7

. The occupation of houses and unauthorized street selling

8 9

. Failure to report the loss or theft of a weapon.

. Irregularities in providing information in respect of public safety as required by this Act.

15

. The removal of fences, curbs or other fixed or movables placed by the Security Forces to define security perimeters.

16

. Letting loose dangerous animals or keeping pets and animals in conditions that endanger their life.

17

. The consumption of alcohol in public places when disturbing public peace. www.webexpressguide.com

45

leisure & entertainment

I

prickly pair

La Mode Anglaise Well, it’s that time of year again; we are all putting away our winter woollies and moving into our summer garb.

46

www.webexpressguide.com

I can fully appreciate that we are all different, and there are those less fortunate than myself (being blessed as I am with exquisite taste) who may look forward to shedding their winter coat with trepidation.

Fashion sense, or should I say that certain “je ne sais quoi” is something we are born with and it is not given to every individual to instinctively know what is right. Let’s take the British, for example, now there is no other race on god’s earth with such an inflated opinion of themselves and every far flung corner of the world has at least one little colony of Brits, who for some reason think it is their moral duty to tell “Johnny foreigner” how to run his country.

The bigoted opinions of such fellows are all encompassing and the Brit abroad wastes no time in voicing (loudly) all the faults of the country he has chosen to invade. This would be all well and good if Englishmen abroad were all like James Bond. But no, instead you will have a 40+ year old, with a professional beer belly, wearing an England shirt and a pair of Asda jeans!

I can only think that such men, or even women come to that, either have no mirrors in their homes or they are in possession of a magic mirror. This wearing of football shirts by anybody over the age of, let’s say six years old, is not only embarrassing to well adjusted English folk living in a foreign country, it is also an indication of a certain lack of self identity by the wearer and a need to run with a pack, shows an absence of confidence as an individual.

The same can be said for designer labels and “sports wear” with giant logo’s splashed all over them, the only message these are giving out, is that you don’t have any personal preference and that you probably drive a mid-priced Ford.

Love them or loath them, the elder members of the British royal family are blessed with superb taste, this does of course come from centuries of platinum credit cards and a lifetime of driving around in Bentleys, but the fact remains, you will never see QE2 sporting a nylon Bradford city shirt!

It is not just the British male who shuffles around like a scruff y b*****d, English women are just as bad as their “Geezers” and what you see is what you are always going to get from women who spend a lifetime of worship at the temple of “Burberry”.

Perhaps I am being a little hard by just singling out the Brits, every country has its fashion victims after all; so let’s have a roundup of some of the others. Americans are still the world’s biggest wearers of Crimplene, so much so in fact, that if the whole of America were to get undressed at the same time, they would generate enough static electricity to fire up New York for a couple of months. The French are never truly happy unless they are dressed up like a bar code. The Australians live in sandals all year, because they don’t make shoes wide enough to accommodate their web feet. The Germans all dress like the Waltons.

The Italians wear everything in their wardrobe at the same time; and as for the Spanish, well let’s not even go there!

www.webexpressguide.com

47

VIRTUAL HUMOUR

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’ ‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’ He yelled back, ‘OHIO STATE!’ And they say blondes are dumb!

I had not realized the extent of my husband’s poker addiction until we recently sat down for dinner. I had just set 5 dishes of food in a nice row on the table when he blurted out, “Oh nice honey, peas, carrots and broccoli on the flop, looks like Ham at the Turn and Turkey on the River!”

A couple was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary.

For the entire time they had been married, the wife had kept a safe which the husband had never been allowed to look into. He asked her if, since they had been married so long, he could see what she had been keeping all these years. She said OK and opened the safe. In it were a pile of money totalling $10,000 and three chicken eggs. He asked her, “What are the eggs doing in there?” She said,”Well, I have to admit that I haven’t been completely faithful to you.

Whenever I strayed, I put an egg in the safe.” He thought about it and said, “Well, I guess I can’t be too upset about three eggs. But where did all the money come from?” She replied, “Every time I got a dozen, I sold them.”

I went into the Shell gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas.

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

In the convent a young nun went to see the mother superior.

“Mother, I want to quit the veil.”

“But why, my child?”

“To become a prostitute.”

“What? What are you saying?”

“I said I want to become a prostitute, mother.”

“Oh, you had me worried.

I thought you said protestant!”

48

www.webexpressguide.com

YES, IT’S TRUE

PELUQUERIA

LOLI

UNISEX

952 890 031 News Agents & Tobacconist ENGLISH PAPERS - MAGAZINES

C/ Duquesa de Arcos EXPENDIDURÏA Nº1 Tel: 952 890 110

The Largest, Best Quality & Best Prices

Puerto Duquesa (Manilva) For Reservation: 952 89 05 37

Moneygram Internet, Fax, Photocopiers, Phone Cards, MiniMart, Cheap Calls Cell Phones Sales & Repairs

Designed by Web Express Guide ©

CYBER CAFÉ Sabinillas

CHINESE RESTAURANT IN THE AREA

Plaza Salvador (SABINILLAS)

Tel: 952 936 207

ALUMINIOS CUESTA

-

Manufacturers, Suppliers & Installers of: WINDOWS - DOORS - GLASS CURTAINS - MOSQUITO NETS BLINDS - SHOWER CUBICLES - SCREENS - GATES SECURITY GRILLS – AWNINGS - LOCKSMITH

PVC ALUMINIUM GLASS IRON S.STEELE

INSTALACIONES CELU

José Luis Umbria Gonzalez

+34 653 271 126

Electrical Installations & Repairs Air Conditioning Aerial Installations +34 629 504 003 Flowers for all occasions Wedding Bouquets Plants & Exotic Plants Artificial Flowers & Plants

Free Quotes

ALL WORK GUARANTEED

www.aluminios-cuesta.com info@aluminios-cuesta.com

Tel: 951 273 712 - Mob: 645 580 546 Calle Maria Zambrano Local 2 (Sabinillas)

Tel: +34 602 415 645 Avda. España 1, Sabinillas, Manilva

Floresvioleta.spain@gmail.com www.floresvioleta.com www.webexpressguide.com 49

cAR

CAR OF THE MONTH TRY IT AT V.I.P. – Cars 18.000KM, YEAR 1971

279.999 €

MERCEDES BENZ 600 PULLMAN

50

A large luxury automobile which was the company’s flagship and most expensive model of its time, competitors included certain models of Rolls-Royce and Bentley and the Cadillac Fleetwood 75.

Un gran coche de lujo , que fué el buque insignia de la compañía y el modelo más caro de su tiempo , sus competidores fueron algunos modelos de Rolls- Royce y Bentley y el Cadillac Fleetwood 75 .

Engine: 6.3 L V8, front-mounted Max Speed: 204.8 km/h (127.3 mph)

Motor: 6.3 L V8 , montado delante Velocidad máxima: 204,8 kmh ( 127,3 mph )

Maximum passenger comfort, highest possible levels of safety and superb performance

Comodidad máximapara los pasajeros , alto nivel de seguridad y un rendimiento excelente.

www.webexpressguide.com

vip-marbella.com C/ Juan de la Cierva nº2 29603 (Marbella) Málaga - España Tlf. : (0034) 952 867 068 Movil : (0034) 649 360 848 Fax : (0034) 952 857 927

V.I.P. - Cars

LAND ROVER RANGE ROVER EVOQUE 2.2L TD4 DINAMIC 4X4 YEAR 2013, 70.000KM

FERRARI 430 SPIDER F1 FULL EQUIPE YEAR 2009, 38.000KM

MASERATI GRAN CABRIO PERFECT CONDITION YEAR 2014, 6.000KM

PORSCHE CAYENNE 3.0 DIESEL PERFECT CONDITION YEAR 2011, 99.000KM

BENTLEY CONTINENTAL FLYING SPUR FULL EQUIPE!!! YEAR 2005, 89.000KM,

BENTLEY ARNAGE GREEN LABEL PERFECT CONDITION, YEAR 2000, 47.000KM,

FERRARI F 430 SPIDER F1 WITH EVERY POSSIBLE OPTION

MERCEDES BENZ SL350 FULL EQUPE YEAR 2007, 111.000KM

MERCEDES BENZ 600 PULLMAN 18.000KM, YEAR 1971

37.999 €

57.999 €

92.999 €

PORSCHE CAYENNE 4.5 TURBO “TECHART MAGNUM” YEAR 2008, 118.000KM

49.999 €

99.999 €

69.999 €

26.999 €

94.999 €

45.999 €

279.999 €

WWW.VIP-MARBELLA.COM www.webexpressguide.com 51 INFO@VIP-MARBELLA.COM

Dr. Anders Friman

Doctor of Dental Surgery UMEĂ… University Sweden

the

52

www.webexpressguide.com

DENTISTS When Quality Matters

GALERIAS PANIAGUA Sotogrande 956 795 273