Hector’s House Local suicide prevention and mental health awareness charity 6. Physical Feelings: If they are struggling to communicate Hector’s House share their top tips on how to care for your child/ how they are feeling emotionally, ask them how it feels physically young person’s mental health - and yours - during the first couple of when they think about school. This can be much easier and more terms of returning to school. ‘real’ for young people to explain. Are they feeling a tightness in their chest? Feel like they need to cry or shout? Is their heart 1. Check your own emotions: Often our children mirror their racing? Again, remind them these feelings are common signs of parents or guardians’ feelings. So before you explore how your stress or worry, and help them through it using some stress busting child feels about their return to school, ask yourself how you feel? techniques such as colouring, mindfulness, or playing board games. Have you felt anxious or panicked about things like the level of 7. It’s not Black and White: Remember that children and hygiene, or what the future may hold? See if you can switch your young people have limited life experience, and this means they are focus onto what you can control. If you are nervous about how the more prone to catastrophising situations, or using black and white school is tackling issues like masks or hygiene, email or call them to thinking (something will either be the best or worst outcome, help put your mind at ease. nothing in between). This is very common with exam-age young 2. Pick a good time to talk: Springing a conversation about people, who may be worried about the amount of time they’ve emotions out of the blue can startle a child, and they might not had to prepare for this year. Sit down with them and ask what be ready to communicate their feelings well in that moment. Try; they are worried about, and write down the absolute worst case "Hey, after lunch let’s talk about how school is going. I want to hear scenario and the absolute best. Help them to recognise these are your thoughts about it." This gives them time to get their thoughts both pretty unlikely, and something in the middle is much more into order, and allocates a safe time to open up. probable - and that’s much easier to handle. 3. Practice Active Listening: If your child begins to open up to 8. Create a safe space at home for them: Going back to school you (at any time), if possible, drop everything you are doing and is exhausting, so they will need downtime in order to not burn listen. Non-direct conversations are usually best, so if you can, go themselves out. Now might not be the time to bang on about their for a walk or a drive to avoid the awkwardness of eye contact and untidy rooms or to nag them over homework. Instead, suggest body language. When your child opens up to you, remember your these things get done together, and allow them the chance to rest. 4 P’s: Praise, Praise, Praise and Patience. Tell them how proud you 9. The Importance of Sleep: Although we have just told you are of them for being so honest, validate their feelings and remind not to nag too much, it is crucial we explain the importance of sleep them they are not alone and you are here to help. to our youngsters. Getting enough shut-eye will massively improve 4. Validate: One of the best ways to help your child is to their resilience and mental (and physical) well-being. Creating a validate every emotion they present to you. If they tell you that healthy bedtime routine during school days will really help them they are feeling anxious, angry, grumpy or upset - reassure them to get restorative sleep. This can include no screen time an hour that that emotion is normal, welcomed and accepted. Tell them before bed, encouraging them to read or journal before lights go it’s OK to not feel OK right now, because everything is different and out, and ensuring there are no distractions (e.g. TV or phones). that’s hard to deal with. Tell them that by allowing their negative We understand this is more easily said than done, but it really will emotions space, the quicker they will pass - because all feelings, make a big difference. good and bad, come and go as long as we recognise them. 10. Be Honest: It’s oddly reassuring to a child to know their 5. Inform your Child: Give them as much information about parents don’t always know the answers, so be truthful about that. the new school system as you can. Explain the importance of Saying things like, "Gosh, I don’t know what to say. Shall we do wearing masks or hand washing during this time. Most importantly, some research together about how we can help you feel better? I allow them to express any worries these actions might be bringing would really like to make sure I am doing my best here," will remind up about death or illness, and reassure them they are safe and they them you are human, too and that it’s ok to not know the answers! - and their school - are doing everything they can to stay well. 11. You are not Alone: If you are seriously concerned about a young person’s well-being, please don’t feel like this is all on you - and you do not have to solve this alone. There are countless helplines out there for you and your child. • Call Young Minds Parent Helpline for advice: 0808-802-5544 • Remind your young person of helplines such as texting HECTOR to 85258 if they want someone anonymous to talk to. • Email us on hihector@hectorshouse.org.uk for any tailored advice or help you may need. We are here for you. Numbers is here to take care of your 12. You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup: Lastly, but no less accountancy needs so you can focus on your importantly, look after YOU. You are also going through a big business. We are here to help you with: change, and it’s hard to be so much for someone else at the same chartered certified accountants • Company accounts & corporation tax time. Don’t feel guilty for needing time and space for yourself, in • Self assessment tax returns • Book keeping, VAT (including Making Tax Digital), Payroll & CIS fact we encourage it. See it as your very own homework! As we • Company secretarial services always say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure you are We’re open as usual (working remotely) - give us a call to see how we can assist. also getting restorative sleep and are practising good self-care Matt Ryan FCCA | Numbers Limited | 01296 620220 | info@numbers-ltd.co.uk when you can. And remember: you are doing your best for your 32 High Street, Wendover, Bucks, HP22 6EA | www.numbers-ltd.co.uk child, and that is something to be incredibly proud of.
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Wendover News October 2020
05/08/2020 12:45
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