WE Magazine

MERGING

YOUR MONEY

IN MARRIAGE

BUILDING YOUR FUTURE as a couple BUYING YOUR

1 ST

HOUSE TOGETHER

WEEKEND GIVEAWAY INSIDE

WEEKEND FOR TWO AT IBEROSTAR Courtesy of Leisure for Pleasure

WEEKEND GIVEAWAY

Enjoy a weekend of fun and relaxation at the all inclusive IBEROSTAR HOTEL Visit our facbook page : facebook.com/With Ease Catalogue for more information on how you can enter to win.

Conditions apply

Promotion ends June 2014

Amazing and beautiful Much prettier t han t h Models: Kathlene Gardener and Corve DaCosta Photographer: Levar Gordon Car: Rolls Royce (provided by Victours)

l not a f lower or a tree hat and only I can see...

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Sweet, loving and caring Filling me with happine 6

Models: Kathlene Gardener and Corve DaCosta Photographer: Levar Gordon

g right down to the core. ess and so much more..

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Here in your arms is where I belong The beating of your heart is like a beautiful song 8

Models: Kathlene Gardener and Corve DaCosta Photographer: Levar Gordon

CE ROLLS-ROY

Eyes are so stunning I cannot look away Gorgeous and shining all throughout the day Models: Kathlene Gardener and Corve DaCosta Photographer: Levar Gordon Car: Rolls Royce (provided by Victours)

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Editor’s Note

B

est wishes for 2014. Its a year filled with new beginnings, great opportunities and exciting things for us and you our valued readers.

In January 2014 we re-branded our catalogue and we are now With Ease (WE) Magazine.

New name and we are upping the ante to provide you with even more inspiring and informative articles. Starting this year we will begin to release 3 issues of our publication each year...yes we listened! This issue is very special as it represents the work achieved to date and the reputation our brand has garnered in the market place.

The Wedding Spectacular Expo celebrates its 3rd staging in 2014 and WE Magazine is now the official publication for the expo: another major milestone.

The production of this Wedding Spectacular issue like all others was fun and inspiring: we set out with the aim of always raising the bar and we have done just that. These xxxx pages of pure awesome-ness, focus on wedding events and lifestyle with particular emphasis on the vintage theme at the first half of the magazine and modern theme at the other its where vintage meets modern. Look out for our #WERECOMMEND, #WEINSPIRE features that provide tips and trends to help with your planning. You are in for a treat.

As always we encourage you to refer WE Magazine to a friend, talk about us and give us your feedback. So as you “flip” through these pages we hope you will find WE Magazine extremely useful and the next event you plan will be ‘with ease’..

READ, LIKE, SHARE!

Andrea Wilson-Green

CONTENTS 15 19

Building Your Future as a Couple Selecting the ideal Gown & Veil for a Vintage-Themed Wedding

26

Wedding Traditions & Customs

22 28

Wedding Themes

29

Choosing a Wedding Photographer

31

Buying your first house together:

36 34

Top 10 Wedding Songs

WE WITH EASE MAGAZINE

The Bridal Shower Invitation

What You Need to Know

How to Merge Your Money in Marriage

Although every effort is made to ensure the accuracy and reliability of material published in this magazine, the publisher can accept no responsibility for the veracity of claims made by contributors and/or advertisers. Copyright of all material published in this catalogue remains With Ease Catalogue Jamaica Ltd.

WITH EASE MAGAZINE

COVER LOOK

MODELS: Kathlene Gardner and Corve DaCosta PHOTOGRAPHER: Levar Godon (Visual Embrace Photography) BRIDAL ATTIRE: Petals and Promises SHOOT LOCATION: Hope Gardens, Jamaica MAKEUP: Paul March

Andrea Wilson-Green Editor in Chief/Design & Layout Shonick McFarlane Sales & Marketing Tyrone Green Distribution PUBLISHER With Ease Magazine Tel: (876) 807-5748 Email: info@witheasemagazineja.com Web: www.witheasemagazineja.com FEATURED WRITER Renee Strauss Khym Everett-Solomon CONTRIBUTING WRITER Racquel Ellis PHOTOGRAPHER Levar Gordon (Visual Embrace Photography)

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Models: Kathlene Gardener & Corve DaCosta Photographer: Levar Gordon

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ACCOMMODATIONS

Your wedding shines at IBEROSTAR Hotels & Resorts Wedding Packages Starting At $999* Wedding venue and set-up Flowers for the bride & groom Wedding cake Wedding toast with sparkling wine Wedding dinner in a specialty restaurant And more

At IBEROSTAR Hotels & Resorts, you will begin life together in total harmony. Swaying palms and pristine shorelines set the stage for a wedding made in paradise. Start with our Star, Silver Star or Gold Star wedding package to create the event of your dreams at any of IBEROSTAR’s resorts in Jamaica. Wedding coordinators take care of every detail and with only one wedding per day — you're ensured this most special day receives the attention it deserves.

MONTEGO BAY, JAMAICA For more information: weddings@iberostar.com.jm *Wedding package is based on 10 people. Additional food, beverage or other add-ons to wedding package will incur an extra charge. No substitutions allowed. No discounts apply for smaller groups. Blackout dates and restrictions may apply. Subject to availability. Subject to change without notice. Promotion valid for all US markets. IBEROSTAR does not assume responsibility for errors or omissions within the context of this advertisement.

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by Scotiabank, Jamaica

I

BUILDING YOUR FUTURE AS A COUPLE

f you just got married, no doubt you’re looking forward to many years of wonderful co-existence with your new spouse. One of the best ways to get your marriage off on a solid footing is to establish some simple financial guidelines that you both can abide by.

The process of planning for your financial future will require cooperation and compromise.

Remember that you should not think only of your own desires; you need to be considerate of your spouse’s requirements and concerns before taking making any major decisions.

Let’s look at some strategies that will allow you work effectively together as a couple: Control your spending If you still have wedding bills to pay in addition to the regular household expenses, it is very important for you to take early control of your spending. If you don’t create some boundaries for how your money is used, you can be setting up yourselves for financial difficulties in the future.

Understand your money habits Challenges may arise when couples have different approaches to spending and saving money. If you want to put away more income for the future while your spouse likes to receive immediate gratification with money, there may be conflicts.

You have to find a happy medium for you both.

Budget for your needs

Calculate your expenses by preparing a detailed household budget, and allocate your income to pay them. You need to be on the same wavelength on discretionary spending on items such as entertainment or decorating, so that you both can be satisfied that money is being well spent.

Discuss major decisions

It’s also important to reach a consensus on money decisions which may affect your financial viability in the future, such as borrowing to pay for bills or to purchase a vehicle. After you have agreed on strategies for managing your money, you then need to consider your future needs.

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BEAUTY

PAUL MARCH

MAKE-UP ARTIST T: 876-840-5420 E: ROMEOMARCH_95@HOTMAIL.COM @PAULMARCHMUA

Set common goals

Talk about your dreams for home ownership, your future children’s education and retirement. Ideally, you should work together to choose savings and investment plans that can help you to achieve your goals. You should also discuss your insurance and estate planning needs.

Pool your funds

Once you have made firm plans for your financial future, then you need to establish accounts where you can both contribute some of your individual earnings towards saving and investing. This might be an agreed percentage of your income, or a specific dollar amount per month.

Planning for your financial future as a couple can be relatively pain-free once you remember that there are significant benefits in working together as a team. With joint objectives and a shared purpose, you can successfully create a financially disciplined and loving home.

Continued from page 15 16

BRIDAL ATTIRE

WE RECOMMEND

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Model: Candice Belnavis Dress available at Petals and Promises

SELECTING THE IDEAL GOWN & VEIL for a Vintage-Themed Wedding

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by Renée Strauss, United States of America

lanning a wedding around a specific theme can show off you and your fiancé’s personalities, not to mention create an enchanting event for your guests. With the revival of The Great Gatsby it’s no question that one of the most popular inspirations for wedding right now is Vintage.

But whether you’re planning a wedding that looks like it could be held at one of ‘the finest’ locations or you just want to find a gown that Lady Mary Crawley would approve of, there is some essential advice you need to perfectly execute your vintage bridal look. Here’s my guide to going vintage, from your gown to your veil to your shoes.

Something Old or Something New? One way many brides want to go Vintage is to wear an old gown, maybe one that has been in the family for years. But it’s important to remember that sizes were very different a few generations ago. Our diets have changed and therefore we are generally larger. I have seen it happen many times where brides have brought in their mothers’ gowns for alterations to wear on their wedding day and, although the bride may be similar in structure, it’s almost as though their moms had fewer ribs! Therefore, expect alterations—lots of them.

It’s essential to keep in mind that fabric wears and discolors over time.

Yellow spots and stains are not uncommon in vintage garments, and chiffon, a commonly used fabric in the ‘20s, tends to stretch. So, always examine the garment carefully before purchasing or deciding you want to wear a family member’s gown.

Choosing a Gown To get a sense of what look to go for, you should know a few things about what women used to wear in whatever time period you’re going for. Vintage dressing was generally looser than fitted, as the Victorian era was prudish and shy. Our modern interpretation is to utilize the fabrics (lace, chiffon, tulle) and create modern silhouettes that are striking and fitted and, therefore, more glamorous.

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Start off by finding the overall style of gown you prefer. Do you want (or need) a gown that has shoulders? Do you love the drama of a deeply plunging neckline or back? Are you most comfortable in a fitted hipline and skirt?

If you prefer strapless, then find a gown with a well-fitted waistline and perhaps add a bejeweled belt that not only will highlight your physique but add support. An often incorrect assumption is that a strapless gown must be tight around the bust and back in order for it to stay in place. The truth is that the gown sits on the waistline and therefore it is the construction and fit of the middle of the gown that will make the difference in the comfort you have when wearing it. If it is sitting correctly on the waist, you will never have to be pulling it up in fear of it falling down!

Aside from fit, fabric is key to creating your look: Silk charmeuse is a perfect fabric for vintage styling.

Interestingly enough, actresses of the ‘20s and ‘30s wore gowns from charmeuse because the fabric glistened on screen without being shiny. Its delicate “hand” (“hand” is the term used when referring to the way a fabric feels and drapes when touched) makes charmeuse suited to flowing bridal gowns. The fabric tends to cling and hang against the body, so it is best used for more fluid, slinky cut we refer to as “on the bias.”

Lace is another vintage fabric that many brides love, as it has always been considered the most romantic of fabrics.

Patterns vary greatly from floral motifs, to geometrics, to abstract. White lace is considered more modern, whereas ivory lace can be construed as vintage or more antique. So I always say: If you are a lover of lace what more appropriate day than your wedding day to wear it?

Adding a Veil

Here’s where you can infuse a “borrowed” something into your bridal ensemble. Perhaps a relative or friend is willing to share her veil with you—in this case you are combining old (vintage) with new.

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As for styles, a long lace veil is true vintage, but at the modern price point, expensive! I suggest trying on the short “bird-cage” veils that are cut in a circle and just drape around the face at an asymmetrical angle with a lovely brooch or silk floral clasp.

Your face will be in every photograph, therefore even a close up headshot will most certainly indicate the look you were going for and achieved! Of course you can combine the looks and wear a long veil for the ceremony and remove it for the reception.

Choosing Your (Dancing) Shoes

If we are vintage dressing from head to toe lets not forget a woman’s true love (after Mr. Wonderful, of course)—SHOES! Do not be alarmed if you’re having trouble choosing the right pair: I have had brides come to their fittings with up to six boxes of shoes to see what best suits their style (and the gown’s for sure) and then simply return the unwanted pairs.

One thing to keep in mind is that vintage shoes did not have high heels, they had what we now refer to as kitten heel, a short sculpted heel typically an inch high. A simple satin pump without ornamentation works well if your gown has an ornate hemline. Nothing will catch on the shoe that way and no tears will occur as you walk (very important). However, if you prefer some sparkle, consider a bejeweled heel or asymmetrical adornment so that when you do lift your skirt for the garter toss, your foot looks as glam as the rest of you!

Finding Your Finishing Touches

Jewels! We ladies love jewels! Trips to vintage shops for treasures are so much fun and the “hunting expedition” can be made into a full day of activities spent with your bridesmaids.

So once you find the neckline and skirt style you most desire, then you can really create the formality (or informality) by accessorizing.

Small hand-fashioned pieces are truly Victorian. But if it is a modern version you prefer, look for the motif that indicates the period. Filigree, the delicate and ornamental work fashioned in gold or silver, is most popular.

Brooches may be used as hair accessories, strategically attached to the veil (typically closer to the bottom so nothing snags), or added to belts, skirts and gown hemlines. Since these are generally pinned or attached with a few stitches, they can easily be removed prior to cleaning the gown after the wedding and lovingly added to the keepsake box of beloved items you wore on your special day.

Follow me on Pinterest for more inspiration! http://www.pinterest.com/reneestraussbh/

WEDDING TRADITIONS & CUSTOMS Meaning of “Wedding”

“Wedding” literally meant the purchase of a bride for breeding purposes. The word wedding comes from the root meaning to “gamble” or “wager”. The Anglo-Saxon word “wedd” meant that the groom would vow to marry the woman, but it also meant the money or barter that the groom paid the bride’s father. This is believed why it is still customary for the father-of-the-bride to “give away” his daughter.

of Brittany in 1499 and Queen Victoria, who broke the tradition of royals by marrying in silver. By the late eighteenth century, white had become the standard wedding color.

Before the introduction of the white wedding gown a woman just wore her best dress.

Why does the bride have bridesmaids?

Term “Bridal” came from the “brew”. The bride and groom would drink, and was referred to as “bryd ealu” or “bride’s ale,” which evolved into “bridal”.

In ancient Rome, a couple was leally required to have at least 10 attendants to witness the marriage contract. Furthermore, in some cultures, bridesmaids were used to “hide” the bride among similarly dresed young women in the hope of confusing any evil spirits who might try to cause trouble for the newlyweds.

Why are wedding dresses white?

Why does the bride wear a veil?

Meaning of “Bridal”

Color “White” was denoted as purity and virginity, which was thought to ward off evil spirits, for centuries. But in Ancient Rome, yellow was the socially accepted color for a bride’s wedding attire, and a veil of flame-hued yellow. The veil or “flammeum” covered the face. There are two women noted to have made the white wedding gown popular; Anne

For as much the same reason brides in ancient times had bridesmaids. By concealing her face a bride camouflaged herself so that evil spirits couln’t identify the bride. The white veil is also a symbol of modesty and virginity.

Why “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a copper penny in the shoe’?

Each is meant to ensure ahappy andlasting marriage.

Something old and something new symbolize continuity while making the transition to anew way of life. By borrowing something from a happily married woman, the hope isthat this woman’s good fortune will rub off on the bride. The color blue is associated with purity and modesty.

In ancient Israel, blue was used as the border color of the bride’s dress to denote constancy and fidelity. The penny in the shoe symbolizes good fortune and protection against want.

Why does the bride stand on the grooms left?

WE INFORM

Why does the bride carry a bouquet?

Carrying flowers by the bride has its roots in ancient times.

Strong smelling herbs and spices were thought to ward off and drive away evil spirits, bad luck and ill health. Garlic and chives were popular for the same reason. The ancient Greeks carried ivy as a symbol of unending love.

Why does the bride toss her bouquet?

Anything worn by the bride was and is considered good luck.

The bouquet was considered a sign of happiness. Another reason to throw the bouquet into the crowd by bride is to distract the crowd so that she could escape.

Why a wedding cake?

The wedding cake symbolized fertility. Today, the cake serves the dual purpose of providing desserrt for the guests anda photo opportunity for the couple’s wedding album.

Why do we have bridal showers?

Bridal showers becamethe custome, withbrides receibing gifts from her family members and friends to help prepare her for married life.

The origin of the bride standing on the left goes back to the days when the groom would capture his bride by kidnapping her. If the groom had to fight off other suitors, the groom would hold his bride-to-be with his left hand allowing his right hand to be free to use his sword.

Why is the wedding ceremony sealed with a kiss?

The wedding kiss that seals the wedding ceremony is much more than a sign of affection. The kiss represents an exchange of spirits, uniting the couple in both body and spirit. Some cultures consider the kiss to bealegal bond,the action that seals t he marriage contract.

Why wear a wedding ring?

The ring’s circular shpae symbolizes eternal, unending love.

Early Egyptians wore wedding rings made of woven rushes or hemp. Since these fibers wore out with use, they replaced the ring as often as needed. The ancient Greeks andRomans used sturdeir rings made of iron or gold.

Why are diamonds used on engagement rings?

In the middle Ages, a European nobleman designed a diamond ring for his new bride and presented it to her on their wedding day as an enduring symbol of his love. Since then, the diamond has been the gemstone mose closely associated with marriage.

What is the origin of the honeymoon?

Under “captured bride” system, the groom kept his bride hidden for a full month (or “moon”), during which time the couple partied and drank a honey sweetened alcoholic drink to loosen up secual inhibitions. Even amicable couples wre encouraged to take this time alone, to adjust to thier newly marreid status and forget the worries of the world.

Source: http://www.bridallistings.com/

CATERERS

Oxtail wrap with tuna tartar on top of tortilla chips and a tomato basil prosuitto & mozzarella Beef ceviche topped with a splash of strawberry juice served with fruit kebab medley.

Raisin played on a bed of lettuce and tomatoes served with cassava croutons and garnished with carefully sliced bell peppers.

WE RECOMMEND

Chocolate mousse served with a creamy whipped topping, otaheite apple, banana cake with roasted coconut topping and a walnut chocolate.

Lightly seared sea steak with tossed green salad, avocad, cherry tomatoes and drizzled with basil balsamic vinaigrette.

DÉCOR

Wedding Themes

by Khym Everett-Solomon, Kingston Jamaica

W

eddings are very personal affairs that you share with persons closest to you. Every inch of these affairs can be coined and crafted to suit the bride and groom’s personalities catering to every single detail. Weddings do not have to follow the traditional ceremony in a traditional location with a traditional look.

You can jazz up your love affair to reflect any theme you so desire, and leave a lasting impression on the minds of all your guests. Here is an overview of popular wedding themes that are romantic yet fun!

Vintage

Vintage weddings can be real showstoppers as they are not so common and have the capability to provide the right amount of charm and entertainment. This theme will suit a bride who isn’t necessarily obsessed with perfection and can appreciate shabby chic styles. There are various inexpensive ways to pull this wedding theme off with a bang! When purchased, some vintage accents can prove to be very expensive and so a couple weeks before the wedding ‘scavenger hunts’ can come in very handy. Stick to a colour scheme to maintain visual order and appeal.

This is the perfect opportunity to bring out all those sounds, smells and tastes you have been missing since you were a child and allow you and your partner to start a life together, fully aware of each other greatest memories from the past.

Classical

This theme is best suited for the more traditional bride who has always imagined the perfect princess wedding since she was a little girl. Crisp, classic aesthetics that reflect the ideologies of a girl who adores softness and romance can all be incorporated into the elements of this divine day. You can allow this theme to flow from the save-the-date card all the

way to the cocktails served on the big day. Think glamour, opulence and grandeur. Sparkling crystals, pinot grigio and a large white-tiered cake will seal the deal while wowing your guests. Classic colours include gold, silver, accents of black, white, ivory and others in that family. This theme doesn’t have to be boring but instead can be entirely classical without being overly expensive.

Oriental Despite what may be the preconceived notion, oriental weddings are not limited to only persons of oriental descent.

Research will go a very far way with executing this wedding theme. Think simple and delicate whist always taking references from nature and the culture itself. It won’t take much to bring across a beautiful Zen-like elegance for this very special occasion. Oriental favours such as parasols and lucky bamboo and art forms such as origami and Chinese fans are ideal details for bringing it all together.

The bride still has the option to incorporate western traditions and practices, so she can wear the wedding dress she had her eye on long before she was even engaged. The boundaries are none existent as you have the power to choose if the theme will be minimally incorporated or be carried through all out.

Beach

Jamaica is blessed to have many beautiful beaches that are easily accessible to locals all year round. What better way to start your new life together than on the shores of our island?

Beach weddings are becoming increasingly popular as persons begin to realise the beauty of our natural resources and what a beautiful ambiance they naturally create. This wedding theme is most appropriate for the carefree couple who are bent on enjoying life while they can. The open, free setting will allow guests and couple to feel emancipated and free as beach wedding themed events are mostly casual and laid back. If the seaside venue is not available, then this theme can actually be pulled off at another venue, even inside! Favours, food and music will go a long way, including dress code for the more formal affair. However, since you decide the ultimate outcome of your wedding, it does not necessarily have to be totally casual. Formal elements can be included in your beach fiesta and, on another hand; it can be totally formal, only boasting beach dĂŠcor and accents.

the list goes on. If you can think it, it can be incorporated into this theme. Think fairy dust, pixie wings, magical creatures or even as far out as star wars. This theme is not for the faint of heart but rather for the couple who hates playing it safe.

Traditional elements can still be uniquely crafted into this affair alongside beautiful elements of the bride and groom’s personalities that will enchant the guests. This lighthearted, celebratory day should be guided by your heart as opposed to trends and fads.

Be mindful that a themed wedding is not meant for nor is it necessary for everyone; however it does make a memorable ceremony. Themes deserve thorough research and planning in order not to come off as tacky, as well as a proper budget.

If you intend on spending more in one area, it is advised that you cut back in another area to avoid debt in the long run. If you are thinking about having a themed wedding, choose one that is reflective of both you and your groom’s personalities and lifestyles. Themes can be merged to create your very own, remember weddings are all about personal expression, creativity, and doing things with your own flair.

Whimsical

Whimsical wedding themes are for the unique, playful couple and it is a perfect way to fuse both personalities.

There are absolutely no rules attached to this wedding theme and it can be paired with fantasy, surrealism, futurism and

c. 2014 | about.me/khymeverett

INVITATIONS

THE BRIDAL SHOWER INVITATION

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bridal shower invitation should lay out all of the necessary information, yet still be attractive.

Remember that subtlety is stylish; you don’t want to come across as overpowering with your theme. It may be difficult sometimes to know who to invite to the bridal shower.

As a general rule, the bridal shower hostess or hostesses should invite female family members of both the bride and the groom. She should also invite close female friends of the bride and the bride’s family. She may also want to invite some of the bride-to-be’s

co-workers. She should be sure to consult with the bride when compiling the guest list. Try to organize the people invited so some will set up the bridal shower game, someone else will set up the bridal shower favor, and so on. Not everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower. However, those invited to the bridal shower are normally invited to the wedding.

Information needed on a Bridal Shower Invitation : The bridal shower invitation should include the name of the bride to be, the date and time of the shower, and the address and phone number of the hostess/hostesses. If you are concerned about the attendance at your bridal shower, consider including on the invitation a deadline date for the RSVP; usually about two weeks prior to the shower date.

Source: www.weddings-direct.co.uk

we dont just print on paper...we create an impression!

TOP 10 WEDDING SONGS O O O O O O O O O O

Marry Me – (Train) This I Promise You – (Ronan Keating) Close to You – (Carpenters) I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You – (Elvis Presley) Come Away With Me – (Norah Jones) From This Moment – (Shania Twain) You and Me – ( Lifehouse) Just a Kiss – (Lady Antebellum) Just The Way You Are – ( Bruno Mars) Love Me Tender – (Norah Jones)

MUSIC

WE RECOMMEND

PHOTOGRAPHERS

CHOOSING A WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER

by Khym Everett-Solomon, Kingston Jamaica

T

he best moment of your life is here and everything is perfect. All the details turned out exactly how you wanted it and now you are over the moon with happiness. After the day has ended and even into the next month you are still on cloud nine (9) and absolutely nothing can get you down. Except one thing... your

photographs are a disaster!

What isn't dark and awkwardly composed just doesn't exist.

That magical first kiss, the snug group shot with the whole family and the snaps from you and your hubby jumping the broom simply DO NOT EXIST! All that was promised by your photographer comes racing through your mind and upon calling to receive an explanation and possibly a round of laughter on the other end of the telephone to say you've been pranked, something even worst happens. You simply cannot get in touch with this person to whom you entrusted the task of capturing the most precious memories of the best day of your life.

www.merrickcousley.com

This scenario is very possible however it can be avoided.

Professionalism is not a factor you should choose to pass on for such an important event. Yes, it may come at an extra cost but can you really put a price on reliability and efficiency? This is what you throw through the window when you decide to cut costs as it relates to your wedding photographer. From the get go, budget to hire a professional and you will have zero disappointment in that department.

Here are some tips on choosing the best without regret.

USE A PROFESSIONAL

You may be on a budget however this is no excuse to let your eighteen year old cousin who's an art student take your photos. There are many photographers out there all with various prices and even special packages. Start your search early and you are guaranteed to find one who has a price that is within your budget.

SCHEDULE A MEETING

Emails and telephone calls are good but at some point you will need to see the actual work this person has done and not only rely on word of mouth. Remember lips were made to talk and so the proof is in the pudding or in this case, the portfolio.

SHOOTING STYLE

On the same issue of proof, you will need to narrow down your search by using the style of photography you prefer.

Everyone has a different style, which includes how the final images come out, the concept they will work with while shooting as well as their personality. Ensure all this is in line with what you and your groom are looking for. There should be no room left for guessing.

It is customary for you , the client, to pay a 50% deposit to book the photographer and the final payment on delivery of the photographs. This may vary based on who you decide to work with.

Getting the perfect photographer for your wedding is equally important as selecting the cake, the wedding dĂŠcor or the gown. Photographs are the only tangible memory of your wedding which can last a life time and always take you back to the happiest moment of your life.

DISCUSS THE DETAILS

Wedding photographers usually travel and shoot with assistants. They may also charge you for travel costs as well as additional minutes gone overboard. Ensure that all the details are discussed prior to confirmation and that you receive a signed contract with all the details discussed details before making a payment.

c. 2014 | about.me/khymeverett Models: Kathlene Gardener & Corve Dacosta Photographer: Levar Gordon

HOW TO MERGE YOUR MONEY IN MARRIAGE

O

by Scotiabank, Jamaica

nce you’re married then it’s important for you to work together on managing your financial affairs.

Dealing with money matters as newlyweds can sometimes be challenging, as it may be difficult for two persons to agree on spending decisions that will meet both of their needs.

Here are some steps that will help you to merge your money as a couple:

Discuss your situation

Getting started on the right footing will lay a strong foundation for your financial wellbeing in the future.

Have a frank discussion about your personal money situations; you need to be honest about any financial problems that might have a negative impact on your marriage.

Look at your expenses

Use a joint budget to list all the household and personal expenses that you expect to pay over a year. There are no fixed rules that dictate how you should manage your shared finances. Below are some possible options that will suit different personalities and situations:

Split payments

You both contribute half of the total household budget into a joint account from which all the shared bills are paid, while you each cover your own personal expenses. This option works for couples who have similar income and prefer to share costs equitably.

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Proportional payments

If your salary amounts differ drastically, you can divide all the shared expenses in proportion to your incomes. Therefore, if one person makes twice as much as the other, he or she will contribute two times what the other does.

Selective payments

You each select certain expenses in the household budget that you will be responsible for paying. For example, you could pay for utilities and groceries, while your spouse covers the rent and the insurance payments. You each take care of your individual needs.

Combined payments

You both deposit your income into an account, from which all the household and personal bills are paid.

You may both have access to the merged funds at any time, or one person can assume control over the account. For this to work, you must trust each other implicitly.

Share responsibilities

If you depend on each other to manage your money affairs, then you must both be committed to the payment method that’s chosen. You also need to decide on who will assume responsibility for banking activities such as making deposits and balancing the chequing account.

Even when you agree on money management strategies, you may encounter challenges over time.

Any financial problems that crop up that could derail your original plans must be quickly communicated to each other, so that you can both decide how to address them.

REGISTRIES + FINANCE

1-888-NCB-FIRST | www.jncb.com

The Gift For All Occasions!

Introducing the

Whatever the occasion, you’ll always get the perfect gift with a Special Occasions Savings Plan.

So if you have a birthday, wedding, baby shower, house warming or graduation coming up, open a Special Occasions Savings Plan so your friends and family can help you get the perfect gift.

NCB Special Occasions Savings Plan

Call us, visit our website or your nearest NCB Branch for more info.

NCB, Put Your Best LIFE Forward.

NCB Capital Markets Limited | NCB Insurance Company Limited | Advantage General Insurance Company Limited

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BUYING YOUR FIRST HOUSE TOGETHER: What You Need to Know

by Racquel Ellis, St Catherine Jamaica

36

ADOPT THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

Purchasing a house can be a very time consuming, frustrating and stressful process. Having a positive attitude that you will find a house you can make into a home given your resources will carry you through feelings of disappointment and sadness that you are sure to encounter during house hunting. Even if you have to develop a personal mantra to fall back one – do it! It is also important that you support each other in this, so if one spouse is losing his/her fervour, the other is that voice of positivity to keep things moving.

DECIDE ON LOCATION & HOUSE FEATURES

I

f a house was just about block and steel, most of us wouldn’t have any difficulty finding a place to live. When we think of buying a house, we think of somewhere that we can make into a comfortable home for ourselves and our families. We all know that house prices in Jamaica are ridiculously high!

Everybody wants their pound of your hard earned flesh and sometimes the houses are not even in good condition! Let’s face it, some vendors sell the house for high prices because of the location or because of the benefits they perceive purchasers will get from buying the property! House buying is therefore not a simple decision and like everything else within a marriage, requires conversations and consensus.

As a couple, many things will form part of your decision to purchase your first house together. Let’s talk about some basic things you need to consider when deciding to buy your first house.

Okay, you want to buy your first home but where exactly would you like to live and how would you like your house to look? To help you answer this question, both of you need to sit down and make a list of the possible locations and features of your new home and their pros and cons.

What are the things you must have, and what are the things that you absolutely won’t live with? Some of the things you need to consider are: • Relative safety of the location • Proximity to public transportation and essential services such as hospitals and police assistance?

• Price range • Proximity of neighbouring schools to place of work (if children are involved) • Age of home (older homes or newer home – less than 5 years old?

• Size (sq. ft.) and type of house (1 or 2-storey; apartments or townhouses) • Number of bedrooms and bathrooms • Internal features of the house • Type of community and community amenities Once you and your spouse is serious about looking, both of you need to be on the same page. It will take some negotiation and compromise, but the effort will be well worth it!

SORT OUT YOUR FINANCES

So you’ve crafted your ideal home, but can you afford it?

Vendors usually require 10 – 15% of the sale price as a deposit.

But that’s just the beginning! You also need to know how you are going to finance the balance of the purchase price. This may require you visiting the various mortgage companies to determine the loan amount you can afford to complete the sale and whether you need additional support in this area.

The National Housing Trust (NHT), building societies and banks have a lot of home financing options of which you can take advantage. Vendors and real estate agents always want to know how quickly you can pay your deposit, how you’re going

to complete the purchase of the house and whether you’ve been pre-approved for a loan, if you decide to take a mortgage.

I cannot say it enough, prioritization of your finances is critical. You will realize that every penny counts so both of you need to keep focused on your goal and manage your finances in a way that will help you to achieve the goal of owning your first home.

Use a 360o Approach

The proverb “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” holds true in all situations. Don’t just rely on Section 559 of the Sunday Gleaner to find out about houses available for sale. Visit property and real estate agency websites. You can also visit the websites of mortgage companies which many times are selling houses that mortgagors have defaulted on. You could even enlist the services of a real estate agent! Finally, don’t keep your need for a house to yourself; put the word out in your network of family and friends. You never know who knows whom or the deals you can get as a result of someone you know within your network!

DEVELOP A CHECKLIST OF THINGS TO INSPECT You will need something that allows you to make the right decision about which house to select. Take a methodical approach to this house hunting business and create a checklist detailing items about the house, neighbourhood, and RATING AREAS OF INTEREST The Home •

No. of bedrooms & bathrooms

•

Lawn/yard space

•

Roof: age and condition

The Neighbourhood •

Appearance of other homes

•

Traffic

•

Noise level

•

Safety/Security

•

Schools

•

Age/condition

•

Reputation

•

Play areas

Convenience/Proximity to: •

Supermarket/Shopping

•

Schools/Child Care

•

Work/Church

•

Public transportation

Excellent

Good

Average

Poor

amenities of interest. Your checklist could look something like this:

START LOOKING AT HOMES

As you identify possible homes, make arrangements with the vendors/agents to actually look at the homes. Make sure you get an opportunity to look both inside and outside of the home and use the checklist you developed to rate the various areas of interest. You can also attend open houses in cases where new developments are being built or where vendors/ agents having specific times within which they are showing a house to interested purchasers. When doing this do, don’t neglect your personal safety. It is best that you visit the locations as a couple so both of you gets the opportunity to view the potential houses. If this is not possible, take a trusted friend and take pictures so your spouse can make an informed decision. You don’t want a situation where one spouse says yes at first sight and the other says no when he/she views the property at a later date. Also, during your viewing, don’t just look at the houses once. Drive by there at different times during the day – early morning, peak hours and late at night to get a sense of the flavour of the community.

ORGANIZE YOUR FINDINGS & DECIDE

When you think you’ve looked all you can, compile your findings and begin your discussions to arrive at a decision.

Once the decision is made, make sure that you are both comfortable with it, hire an attorney or get legal advice and start the ball rolling with the vendor or real estate agent.

TRANSPORTATION

Models: Kathlene Gardener and Corve DaCosta Photographer: Levar Gordon Car: Rolls Royce (provided by Victours)

39

D I R E C T O RY

Model: Candice Belnavis & Kibwe McGann Photographer: Levar Gordon

41

iUbar Handbags T: (876) 446-4915 E: dan.iubar.ja@gmail.com W: www.iubarhandbags.com

Omar Spence Photography T: (876) 383-0611 E: ospence@gmail.com W: www.omarspencephotography.com

Tropical Court Hotel 979-2075/979-2146 E: tropicalcourt@yahoo.com W: www.tropicalcourt.com

Dash Production T: (876) 471-8957 E: jordache.jones@gmail.com W: www.facebook.com/dashproductionsPhotos

Decor Fancy Jamaica T: (876) 482-5133 E: decorfancyja@yahoo.com SM: facebook.com/decorfancyja

Paul G. Slowley PhotoVideography T: (876) 294-0532 E: paulgslowley@gmail.com W: www.paulgslowley.com

Designs by Nishy T: (876) 822-7185 E: nishy@designsbynishy.com W: www.designsbynishy.com

Tricia Bent T: (876) 822-9223 E: tbentphoto@gmail.com W: www.tbentphoto@gma

Kan De Lyssa Scented Candles & More T: (876) 845-2696/876-310-0638 E : kandelyssacreations@gmail.com SM : facebook.com/kandelyssacandlesandmore

Nicole McCalla T: (876) 577-9016 E: nccnccalla@gmail.com

Special Kreations - “Events, Gifts & Logo Designs” Events Planner/Decorator T:(876) 530-8238 E: somethingspecial.foster3@gmail.com Strictly Events Jamaica Ltd T: (876) 946-9758 E: info@strictlyeventsjamaica.com W: www.strictlyeventsjamaica.com

BG.Designs & Photography E: bg.designs8@gmail.com W: www.bradleygrahamphotography.tumblr.com McKoy’s Auto Import T: (876) 908-3513-4 E: mckoysauto@cwjamaica.com W: www.mckoysauto.com

VINT MEETS M A MATC A HOPE G

28 Models: Candice Belnavis & Kibwe McGann

TAGE MODERN CH MADE AT GARDENS

ROLLS ROYCE

29

WE Spectacular EDITION

FINANCIAL PLANNING FOR YOUR

WEDDING

YOU’RE HITCHED... now what?

MANAGING the IN-LAWS

Today I will marry my friend

Model: Debbie Bissoon Photographer: Christopher Fuller

The one I laugh with, live for, dream with, Love.

Model: Debbie Bissoon Photographer: Christopher Fuller

3

Model: Candice Belnavis & Kibwe McGann Photographer: Levar Gordon

. .In your arms i feel so secure

5

EDITOR’S NOTE HELPING YOU CREATE YOUR VISION. To all of you newly engaged couples we say congratulations and welcome to our third Anniversary issue of our bridal magazine. This year’s special edition magazine, is produced in partnership with With Ease (WE) MAGAZINE, and focuses on how you can make your special day both memorable and enjoyable.

As bachelors and producers of Wedding Spectacular, when we first conceptualised Wedding Spectacular, we started out very clueless as to what went into planning a wedding. This we believe is what has led us to producing five successful bridal shows. As many of you newly engaged couples might have discovered, it is certainly way more than just the Bridal Gown and Cake. This year we have a new partner on board Michelle Cotterell who has added a woman’s perspective to what women want to see and experience.

One of the things we quickly realised was that weddings aren’t cheap. The decision to approach and partner with Scotia Bank was a critical and strategic element of this year’s expo. We encourage all our attendees and couples to speak with your banker/financial advisor and find out what bridal products they offer to ensure that you discuss your finances and plan for your future.

Good Luck, and have a beautiful wedding.

Team Intuit Sean Lyn. Kibwe McGann. Michelle Cotterell

6

CONTENTS 9

Financial Planning for Your Wedding

11 You’re hitched... now what?

14 Emergency Wedding Day Kit

17 Bridal Makeup Tips 20 Managing the In-Laws 25 Planning an Event

CREDITS COVER LOOK

Model: Debbie Bissoon Makeup: Loréal Hairstylist: Salon Innovations Bridal Attire: Beautiful Brides & Mr. Tux Photographer: Christopher Fuller Venue: Villa Ronai, St. Andrew

INSIDE MAGAZINE

Models: Candice Belnavis & Kibwe McGann Makeup: Loréal Bridal Attire: Petals & Promises Male Attire: Spokes Apparel Vehicles: KIG (Ford Kuga) & Victours(Rolls Royce) Photographer: Levar Gordon Venue: Hope Gardens, St. Andrew

FINANCIAL PLANNING FOR YOUR WEDDING

by Scotiabank, Jamaica

C

ongratulations on your engagement to be married! As soon as the excitement about this new development in your life has quieted, it will be time to pay attention to all the practical details of planning for your wedding day.

Financing a wedding celebration can be an expensive undertaking, so it’s important to strategise carefully to ensure that your big day doesn’t break the bank. Here are some tips that can help you to create your dream wedding while maintaining your budget: Make a list of expenses You should first itemise all the expected costs associated with your wedding celebration. Some of the major expenses to consider include invitations, location rentals, decorating, catering, clothing, wedding rings, photography, entertainment and honeymoon travel.

Prioritise your costs If your budget doesn’t permit all the things you want, then choose what’s really important to you. Consider what would make your celebration most memorable, and allocate more money there. For example, you could have a small wedding ceremony and go all out with your honeymoon.

Shop around Get quotations from at least two or three companies that provide the products or services on your expense list.

However, don’t just choose the lowest price, as quality should be the main factor. It may be helpful to ask recently married persons for their recommendations as well.

Get others involved Don’t be afraid to ask your friends and family for their assistance at this time. Even if they are not able to make a monetary contribution, they may be able to help you in kind by providing some of the required products and services free of cost.

Manage food costs Food can be one of the biggest expense items for a wedding.

To manage your food bill, you could have an early wedding and serve brunch, or opt for a cocktail reception instead of a more formal dinner. You could decorate just one cake for cutting, and serve guests regular fruit cake.

Decorate creatively Reduce your decorating costs by finding a beautiful garden setting for your reception which needs minimal adornment.

You can also use your design creativity with free accessories such as large leaves or pine cones, and keep your bouquet simple by using one outstanding flower.

Start a savings plan After tallying your costs, you have to consider how you will finance the affair. Some people will borrow to pay for wedding expenses, but be careful about starting your married life in debt. Try to cut back on other expenses and save aggressively over time towards your required target.

Your wedding day should not be defined by the material elements of the celebration, so don’t be disappointed if you can’t afford all the fancy trimmings. Instead, remember that the day is all about celebrating your love, and that is truly priceless.

Find All Things Wedding in the Jamaica Yellow Pages.

The only place you can find every type of business to plan your wedding and beyond.

365 days a year, all day, every day.

®

Jamaica Yellow Pages

Print. Mobile . O nline

®

>> Protect the Bling: With an engagement ring’s value often exceeding the groom-to-be’s monthly salary by up to 3-times; it’s a good idea to get protection against loss or theft. Check JamaicaYP to select an appraiser and insurer to safeguard the value of your ring. Some insurers offer a Home ‘Cover-All” contents insurance that will cover the ring. Know your insurer’s name or category and need their number? Text it to 4-YELLOW (or 493-5569) and you will get an instant, free-of-charge text with the number or a list of service providers from which to choose. >> Get Organized: Create a dedicated wedding binder to put in your ideas (pinterest.com can be a great option to curate some of your ideas from across the web). Download a wedding checklist from the vast array of wedding sites online (we love the www.knot.com ) or, if you are so inclined, create your own spreadsheets with to-do’s, timelines and budgets. >> Location, location, location: Choosing the spot where the magical moment will take place is a key decision for you and your fiancé. The venue sets the tone and should reflect the memories that you want to make. Be it a formal ballroom in the capital, or a relaxed ceremony on the sands at a North Coast hotel, you can scour the Yellow Pages for the perfect setting.

YOU’RE HITCHED... now what?

by Jamaica Yellow Pages

C

ongratulations you’re engaged! Don’t wait for the glow of the announcement to fade (hint: it won’t), before getting your plans in gear for the Big Day. Planning your wedding needn’t cause you to pull out your hair, just take a breath, and load up your Jamaica Yellow Pages Mobile App to get your wedding planning strategy engaged.

>> First things first - Know your limit$: This might seem

to be a tough call when you don’t know how much the elements of an event costs, but this will be the single-most critical step in the planning cycle. If you set an upper-limit on your spend considering your savings and your family contributions you’ll be able to negotiate with vendors and identify the difference between the ‘nice-to-haves’ and the ‘must-haves’ for your day.

>> Assemble your A-Team: Finding a top-notch team to make your day a huge success requires research and Jamaica Yellow Pages should be the first stop in locating butcher, the baker and the candle-stick maker. Well, even if you only need the baker for your three-tiered confection, it’s the place to go.

Depending on the size of your wedding and your ability to manage the full-time needs of pulling together an event with lots of moving parts, you may wish to hire a professional wedding planner to be the architect of your event. Search the Wedding Arrangement section of our directory to find yours.

Flowers will be a significant investment whether your event is indoors or out - so you should find professional florists that have the capacity to build your event’s floral decor.

Florists will help guide you on selecting buds for your budget and the type of flower that will make sense based on your theme, seasonality and venue.

>> The Dress - The look on the groom’s face when he first lays eyes on you in your gown is priceless. That’s why picking the perfect dress demands you find a salon that can help land the right dress for your style, shape and ceremony type.

A bridal shop that offers consultations by appointment is a great way to carve out on-on one time with an expert who can help ensure you “Say Yes to the Dress” 11

12

Villa Ronai YOU’RE GETTING

W E D D I N G

MARRIED! Villa Ronai is the perfect destination for that extra special wedding.

Options range from the use of our venue to having our team coordinate the event.

Villa Ronai is a well established wedding destination, and has been so for over a decade. Over the years Villa Ronai has been the venue of choice for several Jamaican and international weddings.

Ronai was highlighted as a leading Caribbean wedding destination in one of the world’s most iconic wedding magazines, The Knot. The Knot is one of the world’s most respected wedding resource providers and it’s website is the most trafficked online.

The wedding destination feature highlighted on this page was shot on location at Villa Ronai in 2003 by Cappy Hotchkiss and covered the wedding of Michael O’Loughlin and Tarika Barrett.

Wedding planners and prospective couples are encouraged to call or visit us for a consultation.

S

Emergency Wedding Day Kit

by Khym Everett-Solomon, Jamaica

G

etting hitched without much (or any) hiccup is every bride’s dream. Don’t be caught unprepared.

Experienced wedding co-ordinators suggest you prepare an emergency kit long before hand. Have no ideas where to start? Then have no fear! We have whipped one up just for you. Take a look!

>> >> >> >>

Fashion Tape Safety Pins Sewing Kits Extra pair of shoes (to combat the broken heel monster in the event that ‘he’ shows up!) >> Concealer >> Clear Nail Polish >> Hairpins >> Mints >> Mirror >> Extra panty Hose >> Lint Brush >> Extra earring backs >> Wet wipes >> Smelling salts >> Tampons and sanitary napkins >> Aspirin

>> Krazy glue >> Straw (for drinking without messing up make up) >> White Chalk (excellent way to cover stains on

any dress) White Chalk Your wedding dress is one of the main stars of this show.

Many persons will be looking forward to seeing it and right 14

through the ceremonies, a million pictures will be taken of it.

White chalk has proven to be a quick, cheap, mess free way to cover up any ‘mistakes’.

Concealer We can’t stress it enough! Many pictures will be taken on this day and these pictures will exist for generations to come.

To ensure your face is picture-perfect, have a good tube of concealer handy for any run, blotches or spots.

Tampons/ Sanitary napkins For any unexpected/ uninvited party guests, these are must haves.

Smelling salts It is unlikely that guests will faint; however the key to a successful wedding is to leave nothing to chance.

Tape Whether it is fashion tape, scotch tape, duct tape or masking tape, tape is your best friend! Ensure that you have a good amount handy for those show-stopping emergencies.

Straw Keeping yourself and your wedding party will be effortless with this miraculous device. No need to worry about smeared lipstick or constant touchups.

Other items on the list are: extra panty hose, extra earring backs, mirror, clear nail polish, wet wipes, aspirin and Krazy glue.

c. 2014 | about.me/khymeverett

Time stands still at Strawberry Hill Hotel Spa & Gardens and the only thing that matters are you and your love; captured right in that moment.

Located only 30 minutes from Kingston and perched 3,100 feet above sea level, Strawberry Hill boasts a surreal panorama of the lush Blue Mountain and Kingston city lights. The hideaway itself has long been feted for its elegance and storied history. The 18th-century coffee plantation-turned-vacation-home-turned-hotel was once frequented by the likes of Bob Marley and Mick Jagger and now can be by you too.

Imagine your wedding on the perfectly manicured lawns with a dramatic infinity edge pool with a mesmerizing 360 degree view which is truly stunning by both day and night. With the capacity to host Weddings of up to 300 persons, your fairytale wedding will be picture perfect at every moment. To help get you through the preparations and the big day, friendly staff will be right there by your side ready to assist you with all the details to ensure everything goes seamlessly.

With the ability to host both ceremony and reception, Strawberry Hill remains one of the most ideal and enviable settings exuding romance and mystique. Ceremonies can be held in the quaint cobbled Jadevine Courtyard ringed by cascades of iridescent tropical blooms and overlooking Kingston with a radiant sunset. An effortless reception transition with cocktails and hors d’ oeuvres on the majestic Lawns where even the most jaded visitor can sense a Natural Mystic blowing through the air with a backdrop of the Blue Mountains.

The main house holds the world famous restaurant which takes a fresh take on classic Jamaican culinary favourites, highlighting the island’s multi-ethnic heritage. With such a diverse range, the Chefs and Food & Beverage team can feature and specialize any theme requested. Chef ’s serve up internationally infused traditional dishes prepared with locally sourced organic meats and produce to ensure the highest quality for your special day.

But what wedding is complete without a romantic honeymoon?

Strawberry Hill hosts 12 handcrafted Georgian-style cottages which are privately tucked away in a crescent moon around the hill. Newly renovated with additional amenities such as fully restored antique furnishings including romantic canopied four-poster beds, solid mahogany desks and ornate hand carved fretwork, and some with outdoor showers, are the icing on the cake. Each cottage is equipped with a private deck where you and your loved one can enjoy romantic sunrises and sunsets basking in your newlywed love.

For relaxation and rejuvenation, The Spa at Strawberry Hill specializes in multipart, customized treatments; such as the Blue Mountain Elixir which combines an exfoliation of the all-natural Blue Mountain Coffee Scrub, Massage and Hydrotherapy. Treatments are designed with you in mind and what better way to reconnect with your loved one than a Couple’s Spa Session? Encompassing an Aromatic Hot Stone Massage and Caribbean Body Polish, you’ll both reconnect to a natural state of harmony and peace that creates a healthy body and mind.

For further info and to book your wedding and honeymoon,

visit www.StrawberryHillHotel.com or call 876-944-8400.

BRIDAL MAKEUP TIPS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Choose an artist you are most comfortable with.

Wear lashes!

Minimal makeup for a morning wedding is perfect but for an evening ceremony welcome the glam.

If you are undecided about the look you want, consider a consultation.

Keep your skin hydrated for the big day. Drink lots of water!

Don’t be afraid to play up your makeup for your photo session.

If you opt out of hiring a professional, practice applying your own makeup a couple times before the big day.

Put away your prescription glasses and go with contacts for your peepers.

Get your spray tan done a week before the day.

Tip your artist ;)

17

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19

w i t h

s p e c i a l

e d i t i o n

MANAGING THE IN-LAWS

starring Racquel Ellis, Jamaica

M

e a s e

How involved should they be?

ost times when you hear of the “inlaw” crisis, most people think of the man’s mother, right? Of course! Why? Because often times, it is the mothers or the female caregivers who find it the hardest to let go!

Am I wrong? Maybe! But even Hollywood, of all the titles they could use to capture issues with in-laws, they chose “Monster-in-law”, indicative of the hell a mother can give in thwarting a relationship between a man and a woman who decides to make life together.

However, this is not always the case. In-law drama can come from anyone in either spouse’s family, especially relatives to whom the man or the woman is close.

Enough about the offending family! As a couple, you need to know how to manage your relatives and that of your spouse so you can both have a peaceful relationship. Your relationship is primarily about both of you, not both of you and your in-laws. For example, ladies, you shouldn’t be calling your mother about every single thing that happens between you and your husband and men it is your duty to defend your wives against any attack from your mother or other relatives. Let me tell you, the more you talk to your inlaws about your spouse, especially if it is negative, the more you paint him/her negatively in their eyes and reduce the likelihood of a good spouse/in-law relationship.

A couple needs room to breathe, to understand each other and to develop together. This cannot happen with constant interference from their families. Frankly, every human being has the right to choose. Therefore, if two people decide to be together, even if one of them is Hades incarnated, then it is their decision to make. As an in-law, you may not like it, you may see trouble ahead and you know what? You may even be right! But be careful how you express your dissatisfaction, as what you say may determine the quality of future relationships with your relative and his/her spouse.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you should ignore your in-laws but you need to help them recognize their boundaries. Additionally, I am not talking about cases in which a spouse is being abused. Clearly in such cases, all bets are off and personal safety is paramount. So how involved should in-laws really be?

Let’s be realistic. When someone decides to marry your son, daughter, brother, sister, aunt, uncle or cousin, you really may not – for whatever reason – like the person but you don’t have to express your reservation in such a way that hurts your relative or his/her spouse! You can talk to your relative about how you feel but in a way that shows that you are speaking out of love for wanting their best and not being vindictive.

While your in-laws can give their opinions about how they feel about your spouse or your spouse’s behaviour, they are not the ones that make the decisions in your family. You are in a relationship with your spouse, not with your in-laws.

Therefore you’re not expected to discuss all the decisions you need to make with them before you talk to your spouse. So what if your sister’s favourite colour is blue? Why should that be the colours of the walls in your home? It is the colour that you and your spouse agree on without anyone outside of the relationship telling you what to do. How are you going to build the trust and dependence on each other if your inlaws become your compass rather than your spouse?

Your in-laws can help but they should not take over.

In-laws help to the extent that you are comfortable with.

For example, they are invaluable resources when you want somebody to babysit your children, help you move or help you to prepare a family dinner but they shouldn’t be the ones telling you how many children to have, where to live or to serve lobster when you can only afford chicken!

Ladies and gentlemen, even though I have said all of the above, in-laws are your relatives and family is important.

Nevertheless, if their involvement is causing you and your spouse endless heartache, then you need to find a way to deal with it even if you have to confront your relatives. Notice, I said confront, not curse! Take a level headed approach to the entire thing and don’t get sidetracked by emotions. Yes, some things may hurt but you need to find your personal peace where you can deal with troublesome in-laws while maintaining the integrity of your relationship.

Additionally, in the same manner that you should not allow your in-laws to drive you and your spouse apart; you are both equally responsible for maintaining relatively good relationships with each other’s in-laws. In managing your in-laws, here are a couple tips: >> Be cordial, kindhearted and open to building a healthy relationship with your in-laws. I reiterate, whether you like it or not, your in-laws are a part of your family. While they won’t make decisions for you, make them feel included.

As much as you can and based on the strength of the relationship, give them a call or visit them from time to time. >>Vent if you must, but refrain from using disrespectful language or demonstrating disrespectful behaviour. Your spouse may know that his/her relatives are horrible but he/ she does not want you pointing it out every chance you get nor does he/she want you to be mean in kind. You need to take the high road and sometimes offer the olive branch, even if you are rebuffed for doing so. I am not saying that you should allow yourself to be abused but whatever opportunity you get, show kindness and love. It may turn them around. >> Minimize or avoid confrontational situations. Don’t fuel tension. Seek more to understand your in-laws behaviour first. If things get too fiery, find a way of escape, as quickly as you can. You can be direct without being confrontational or threatening. >> Set boundaries. Let in-laws know when they have crossed the line and let them know what areas of your life

are off-limits in terms of them instructing you what to do.

For example, if you have to let your father-in-law who is an actuary know that you don’t need financial advice or if you need to tell your sister-in-law that you are uncomfortable with her stopping at her home without calling; then do so!

Sometimes you just have to put your foot down! >> Know when to keep the relationship with your in-laws at a tolerable level. If you’re at a point in the relationship where you realize that you don’t understand each other well, it’s okay. Take your time. Keep being congenial and civil.

Life is not perfect but never forget that your in-laws are in your lives to make you better as individuals and as a couple.

Embrace them but at the same time endeavour to create a relationship where you and your spouse can live in peace together and with your in-laws, even if you have to do some form of compromise.

Wedding Cakes & Cupcakes A popular trend at weddings and an inexpensive alternative to traditional tiered cakes.

I SEE RED WHEN I SEE MCVITIES DIGESTIVES…

DO YOU…?

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EMAIL: GEDDES@TGEDDESGRANT.COM

23

PLANNING AN EVENT

P

lanning an event can be a large task, it is important to have a checklist so that important details do not get left out. The first thing you want to do is start gathering the data that you will need to make the proper planning. Start recording all the data on paper.

1. The first bit of information that you will need is how many guests you are expecting. You can get a more accurate result when you send out RSVP invitations, then you will get feedback from your invited guests whether they will be attending or not.

2. Will the event have food served? Will it be a sit down dinner or a buffet? Or will you have hor douvres ?

3. What kind of event's will take place at the party? Games, Award presentations, Entertainment?

Once you have all of your data collected you can go more in detail in the planning process. Now that you have a Party Plan List, you might want to review it on a regular basis.

As things begin to get done, check off things that no longer need your attention, or mark done tasks already completed.

As the planner, you need to know how to communicate

with all your vendors. That means you must have a working knowledge of catering, photography, lighting, tents, floral, contracts, and so forth and you also have to be aware of all the latest innovations in these industries too. A good planner is one who excels at his or her profession, understands that he or she is the team leader on any event.

The next step in planning your party will be the place. Depending on how many guests that you expect to be attending will be the determination of where the event will be held.

Some ideas of common places that parties an events are held are Hotel ballrooms, resorts, or restaurants. A key thing to keep in mind is to always estimate up, it is much better to end up with too much space than not enough.

The next major item of the event planning agenda will be the food. One factor to consider for event planning is whether you need to hire a caterer. For small events, you could probably get away with most of the planning and cooking by yourself. However, for bigger sized events, caterers can provide invaluable assistance. Will it be a formal sit down dinner with servers. Will you have a buffet line that guests will go through, or will there just be hor douvres passed around.

There are many things to consider when serving food at your party or event such as place settings, dishes, glasses and utensils, not to mention the cleanup afterwards.

The third major part of the event planning process is entertainment. Which type of entertainment will best fit the type of event that you are planning for? When hiring entertainment it is important to ask for a demo tape or video before signing any contracts. And on the subject of contracts make sure nothing is left to question before signing any contracts.

Some questions that will help in the party planning process are: · What is required from the event? · What is known about the guests? · Who is going to meet and greet? · Who are the VIP’s and the ‘must speak to’ guests? · Who already knows who? · What signals and gestures will be used for ‘parking’ guests? · What time are the various members of the team going to be there? · What time do we expect the last guest will go home? 6 to 9 doesn’t mean anything to guests having a wonderful time!

Good planning and preparation is the key to any successful event. However, ensuring that you have attended to every detail can be exhausting and it is very easy to overlook something which may adversely affect your event outcome.

Planning an event can be stressful at the best of times if you are not organized, but when we are talking about large scale events, like a wedding or business conference, it can become overwhelming. It is therefore essential that you, as the event organizer, would have planned all the steps needed before embarking upon action.

Source: www.weddings-direct.co.uk

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