January 2020

VOLUME 36, #11 JANUARY 2020

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Our Annual

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GUIDE

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TWEENS & TEENS

FAMILY TRAVEL

Are You a COOL Parent?

Updated Documents Are A Must!

INSIDE: BVS 4Wb 4O[WZg 1V]]aW\U 1VWZRQO`S ESZZ\Saa 1V]WQSa

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EDITOR & PUBLISHER Michele Miller GENERAL MANAGER Paul Kline SALES REPRESENTATIVES Jennifer Staebell Paul Kline GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Karen Wawszczyk Melanie Schroeder CONTRIBUTORS Barbara Blackburn • Donna Phillips 3DWULFN +HPSÀQJ 'HERUDK :LOOLDPV Kathy Lundquist • Myrna Beth Haskell Mike Daugherty

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The Savvy Party Planner: Countdown to A Stress-Free Birthday Celebration

by Christina Katz

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Secrets to Throwing An Epic Birthday Party on a Dime

by Cheryl Maguire

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Modern Day Manners: Party Tips for Hosts and Guests

by Janeen Lewis

12 Q

9 Birthdays In One Week

by Rachael Moshman

27 Q

Start 2020 with a Family Digital Citizenship Contract

by Christa Melnyk Hines

28 Q

A New Year, A New You: Sensual Home Spa for the Mom Who Wants Her Strut Back

by Christina Katz

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Visit Our Web Site www.wnyfamilymagazine.com 7R 5HDFK 8V Advertising Department advertising@wnyfamilymagazine.com Calendar Submissions calendar@wnyfamilymagazine.com Subscriptions subscriptions@wnyfamilymagazine.com Editorial Submissions michele@wnyfamilymagazine.com MAILING ADDRESS: 3147 Delaware Ave., Suite B Buffalo, NY 14217 Phone: (716) 836-3486 • Fax: (716) 836-3680 PRINTED BY: Commercial Printing Division The Post-Journal, Jamestown WE ARE AN AUDITED PUBLICATION CIRCULATION (copies printed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/HW·V 3DUW\ 3DUW\ 3URÀOHV Choosing Childcare The Fit Family Wellness Choices

@SUcZO`a( 5 Q Web Finds / What’s New In The Kid Biz 22 Q Family Travel Travel Documents

by Deborah Williams 24 Q Calendar of Events 32 Q Tweens and Teens Are You a COOL Parent?

by Myrna Beth Haskell 33 Q Single Parenting The Parenting Plan: Sharing the Details with Your Children

by Diane Dierks, LMFT 34 Q Raising Digital Kids Play Away Winter Blues

by Mike Daugherty 36 Q Dad & Daughter Discussions Ways to Handle Stress E\ 3DWULFN - / +HPSÀQJ 37 Q Parent Previews Ad Astra

by Keith Hawkes 38 Q Dear Teacher

by Peggy Gisler & Marge Eberts 39 Q Pick of the Literature

by Dr. Donna Phillips 42 Q Special Needs 8 Great Apps for Kids with Special Needs

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by Kathy Lundquist 47 Q The Kiddie Gourmet Jazzboline

by Barbara Blackburn

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We ADORE the look of this cake, but the blogger only provides the name of the book from which she got the directions. Obviously, it’s a basic round cake surrounded by cupcakes, and we imagine the lion’s facial features can be made of piped on frosting, black licorice or gumdrop pieces. The ears had us stumped, but perhaps those cake “cups” used for strawberry shortcake could be frosted to form them. https://usingmainlyspoons.com/2016/04/24/sunday-foodlinks-24-april-2016/

BASKETBALL CAKE 5DQGL IURP 'DOODV 7H[DV LV D PRP RI ¿YH kids ranging in age from third grade to college, including a set of twins. She made frosting orange with food coloring and then used Reese’s Pieces to create the basketball effect, forming WKH EURZQ OLQHV ¿UVW DQG WKHQ ¿OOLQJ LQ ZLWK WKH orange pieces. If you’re serving a large crowd, she suggests making the cake the centerpiece and making a batch of cupcakes as well. (Candies like M&Ms and Smarties, sorted by color, can be used to create other design variations if you’re creative!) https://dukesandduchesses.com/ basketball-cake-idea-reeses-pieces/

ROBOT CAKE This cake, from Better Homes & Gardens, is created from a single 9 x 13 cake, cut into pieces. White frosting is tinted grey with a bit of black food coloring. The robot’s details are created with fruit leather (his belt), white wafer candies (eyes), gumdrops, and licorice candies. Check our complete details at: https://www.bhg.com/recipe/cakes/robot-cake/

FAIRY PRINCESS CASTLE CAKE Steph, from Sydney, Australia, writes on her blog “Bondville,” that she got the directions for this cake from a book (which is no longer available). But from the photo, it’s pretty easy to see that the “castle” is made from 2 cakes — a large rectangular cake for its base and a smaller square or round cake for the top. Ice cream cones turned upside down on a stack of sandwich cookies (secured with frosting) create the castle’s turrets. Heart-shaped lollipops are inserted in the cones.

Marshmallows add some detail, and wafer cookies are cut to make the windows, door, and drawbridge.

The drawbridge supports are the only parts left to our imagination! http://blog.stephbond.com/2011/08/ party-ideas-3rd-pink-fairy-princess.html

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The Savvy Party Planner:

Countdown To A Stress-Free Birthday Celebration — by Christina Katz

VHDUFKLQJ IRU ZKDW \RX FDQ HDVLO\ ¿QG RQOLQH *HQHUDOO\ VSHDNing, one-stop party stores are not as prevalent as they used to be DQG \RX¶OO OLNHO\ EH GHOLJKWHG E\ WKH YDULHW\ \RX FDQ ¿QG RQOLQH Just make sure to place your orders at least a month early to allow for shipping time and returns if anything is not what you’d expected.

7) Send Out Invitations Evite wins hands-down for quick and easy party invites.

Just visit evite.com, select a theme, add in your guests’ e-mail addresses, and send your invitations. Two weeks notice is usually just the right amount of time. But if it’s a busy time of year, add another week or two.

6) Order The Cake Cakes and cupcakes can get expensive when you make them from scratch. Besides, the kids will probably like the local big-box or grocery store sheet cakes just as much as homemade.

Order one week ahead for pickup on party day for the freshest results.

5) Tackle Your Local Shopping List Despite ordering ahead online, you probably still have a few items you need to pick up locally. Be sure to pick them up DW OHDVW D ZHHN DKHDG LQ FDVH \RX FDQ¶W ¿QG VRPHWKLQJ DQG QHHG to order it online after all.

4) Recruit helpers

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lanning a memorable birthday event can be the highlight of your child’s year, if you maximize the fun and minimize the stress. The best way to increase the magic and decrease the madness is to use a handy checklist so you can start early and get ready gradually. Or, if you want to plan your party in one fell swoop a few weeks ahead, this checklist will help you do that, too.

I have been planning and hosting birthday parties for over a decade, and these steps will get you from vision to fruition.

Follow these timing tips, and you’ll be able to keep a smile on your face from the day you start planning until the moment the ¿QDO JXHVW LV SLFNHG XS RU GURSSHG RII

10) Choose A Theme Always have a theme. Having a focus will help you plan and execute your party without a hitch. Several months before your party date, brainstorm themes with your guest of honor.

See sidebar for theme suggestions.

9) Make Reservations If there is one thing I have learned about popular party YHQXHV LW¶V WKDW WKH\ ¿OO XS HDUO\ 2QFH \RX KDYH \RXU WKHPH and know you will need a location away from home, get your reservations nailed down tight two to three months in advance.

8) Find Supplies Online Shop local when you can to support your local economy, but for those hard-to-locate items, don’t burn up time and gas :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

Why try to do everything yourself when you can have so much more fun at your party with plenty of helping hands standing by? See the sidebar for suggestions.

3) Gather Favors Favors don’t have to be expensive or intricate. For a home party, go simple, fun, and inexpensive. Be as eco-friendly as possible by offering favors in a reusable container. If hosting a party elsewhere, consider letting the party be favor enough or simply offering a small treat to guests on the way out like a lollipop or a candy necklace.

2) Set Up A Day Ahead If you are ordering any large food deliveries like pizza, place your order a day ahead. Don’t forget to check online for any discounts or coupons. Then go ahead and tackle as much prep work as you can. Decorations? Food preparation? Party favors? Activity prep? Everything will go smoother on party day if you take care of as much as you can the day before.

1) Party Down!

Get a good night’s sleep. Allow at least two hours prior for set up and one hour afterwards for clean up. Then enjoy every memorable moment. Designate a party photographer, if your hands will be full to document the day.

Christina Katz has planned some fun birthday parties over the years including a pony party, a bowling party, and a roller skating party. But her all-time favorite was a sleepover spa party.

Low-Stress, High-Fun Party Themes Make-Something Party z Animal Interaction Party Bounce or Jump Party z Pool Party Movie Party z Tea Party Pony Party z Bowling Party Garden Party z Roller or Ice Skating Party Spa Party z Slumber Party Indoor Fun Center z Outdoor Playground Party

Who Can Help?

Both parents need to contribute. Don’t forget to factor in Dad’s strengths before, during, and after the festivities.

Babysitters or neighbor teens make great party helpers. I pay our sitter to attend because I always need extra help, and I also want her to share in making memories.

Exchange party help with a friend. You help with her child’s party and then ask for the favor back for your child’s party.

Just ask! You never know when a guest’s parent might enjoy helping and you might make a new mom IULHQG WKLV ZD\ 2QFH \RX KDYH WKH ȽQDO DWWHQGDQFH list, use evite.com to inquire if anyone is available to pitch in.

Some people make better “special guests” than helpers. Siblings of yours or the guest of honor may fall into this category, as may elderly grandparents or visiting relatives. For peace of mind during the party, only invite those you know in advance will be gracious helpers.

Reusable Party Favor Holders Water Bottles z Chinese Food Buckets Flower Pots z Bandanas Beach Buckets z Fabric or Felt Sacks Hats z A Frisbee or Outdoor Toy Books, Comics or Workbook Tins z Brown Paper Bags Small Canvas Totes z Baskets Push Pops z Bottles or Jars Socks or Gloves -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

Our Tradition: An Education for the Future, Values for Life

Secrets To Throwing An

Epicirthday B arty P On A Dime

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W

hen I received the invitation to my nephew’s, pirate party I was worried.

The event was being held during the ZLQWHU WLPH DW KLV KRXVH VR DOO WKH ¿YH year-old kids would be cooped up. How would over twenty kids be entertained in a small area indoors? Would I hear so many chaotic screams of “Arrr’s” and “Ahoy’s” that I would want to walk the plank?

My fears subsided when I beheld the enormous cardboard-created pirate ship in their living room. If the boat hadn’t been so crowded with kids, then I would have jumped inside of it myself. When I noticed organized activity stations set up throughout the house, I knew all the kids would have a blast. The party was such a huge success that my kids still talk about it four years later.

The pirate party isn’t the only impressive at-home one my sister, Tara, and brother-in-law, Mike, have hosted.

They had other events for my nephew and two nieces. The themes of their parties included knights and princesses, western cowboys and cowgirls, fairies and gnomes, and Star Wars. For all their parties they created a life-size cardboard centerpiece such as a castle or western town for the kids to play in and games centered around the theme along with a favor to take home. Homemade treats and a cake are abundant at every gathering.

So, what is the secret to throwing an epic birthday party on a dime?

Planning In Advance

The Stull Family is already planning the next unicorn theme party for June. They get ideas from Pinterest and other crafting websites. Sometimes they brainstorm ideas on their own. This planning helps them to have enough time to create all the activities and cardboard centerpiece.

Potential Savings: $25-$50. Advanced planning allows them to buy sale items and use coupons.

Homemade

Almost everything at the parties is homemade from the cardboard centerpieces to the games, food, and favors.

7KLV VLJQL¿FDQWO\ FXWV GRZQ WKH FRVW RI the parties which were all under $200.

Potential Savings: $50-$75 by not buying a store-bought cake, games or favors.

Team Work

Tara and Mike Stull work together creating the life-size centerpiece, games, favors, and homemade baking. They also include their kids in the process of coming up with ideas and creating the items. By working together, they don’t become too overwhelmed with the planning and creating that is involved. It also makes the process more fun for the entire family.

Potential Savings: $25-$50 by working together, the less they need to purchase store bought items.

Old School Games With A Theme

At the parties, they offer simple games that everyone loves, and they incorporate the theme into the game. Instead of a typiFDO ZDWHU JXQ ¿JKW WKH\ FUHDWHG D ZDWHU JXQ VKRRWLQJ UDQJH LQ the western theme party. Or instead of pin the tail on the donkey it was pin the lightsaber on Yoda for the Star Wars theme party.

Some other games they played are a pirate scavenger hunt for gold coins, relay cowboy horse races, and beware of the shark cardboard toss bean bag game.

Potential Savings: $100-$200 by not hosting the party at an outside venue such as a play gym, bowling alley, or laser tag place.

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Finding Free or Discounted Items

Tara and Mike asked local appliance stores for free cardboard boxes to create the centerpiece, games, and favors. They also got deeply discounted “mistake paint” for a quarter of the price (around $9 instead of $40) that people returned because they didn’t like the color from Home Depot and Lowe’s.

Potential Savings: $25-$50 by not purchasing cardboard boxes, games and favors also savings from purchasing mistake paint which can be used for crafts, games or painting the cardboard centerpieces.

Using Coupons & Purchasing Sale Items

They purchase some of the items at Michael’s and other craft stores using coupons. They also use coupons at the grocery store to buy the food for the party. Coupons can be found at the store’s website or app or by signing up for the store’s emails.

Coupons can also be found at online coupon websites like Coupons.com.

Potential Savings: $50-$100 by using coupons and purchasing sale items.

OPEN HOUSE

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Potential Savings: $50-$100 depending on the items created and sold. You could also sell your unwanted household items prior to the event to help fund it.

Who’s Ready to Party?

These parties are a lot of work, but the whole family loves creating a memorable event. I know that we are anxiously awaiting the next unicorn party. Who knows maybe we will even spy a real one?

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Selling on Craigslist

After the last party, they sold some games they had made for $30. They plan to do this for future parties.

CZ .BSZ --$

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February••••••• • • ••• • • •••• • ••• March•••••••••••••• • • • • • ••• • • •••• • April••••••••••••• • • • • • ••• • ••• •• May••••••••••••••••••••••• • • ••• • •••••• • June••••••••••••••••••••••••• • • ••• • • •• July••••••••••••••••••• • •• • • •••• • • •• •

Originally published on Signature Moms.

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter.

Her writing has been published in The New York Times, Parents Magazine, Upworthy, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessing and Your Teen Magazine.

For more information call 836-3486 Ext. 104 -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

W

hen your child uses good manners, other people want to be around them. That’s why birthday parties are opportune events to teach children, not only party etiquette, but a graciousness that goes beyond rules.

Whether your child is the host or the guest, make teaching children party etiquette fun. Stage a mock birthday party so that your child can role play some of these helpful hints.

everyone so no one feels left out. Make an effort to include everyone and give everyone a chance at each game. Say “good-bye” and thank guests for coming when the party is over.

For guests: Let the host know that you are there. Make an effort to play with the host and other guests and not form cliques that exclude other party guests. When you are ready to leave, be sure to tell the host “goodbye.”

Be Discreet

Be Giving

For hosts: If possible, you might consider inviting the entire team or class. However, that doesn’t always work out, so in that case, snail mail or e-mail invites, and teach your child not to talk about his party in front of children who aren’t invited.

However, be realistic. It’s hard to keep a preschooler or kindergartner from talking about her party. If you start having discussions about being discreet when children are young, they will handle the situation appropriately when they are older.

For hosts:

Modern Day Manners: Party Tips for Hosts and Guests ² E\ -DQHHQ /HZLV

For guests: It is disappointing when your child is not invited to a party, but disappointment provides an opportunity to coach your child through early letdowns in life. Explain that he may be invited to the next party when someone else is not.

If your child does receive an invitation, teach her to treat the matter with the same delicacy she did as the host.

Be Clear With Boundaries For hosts: Human beings need boundaries.

When we have them we feel more comfortable about the setting that we are in, so be clear about party guidelines in the invitation. Give a time, date and place, and let parents know if the party is a drop-off party or if they should stay. Let them know if adults will be eating, too.

Sometimes parents are invited to have the main course (for example pizza) and the sweet treat. Sometimes they are just invited to have cake. You also may want :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

to add a note about whether siblings may attend. Be clear about what events are happening when, so the party unfolds in an orderly manner. If gifts are opened at the party, usher them away quickly so that toys and projects that were given as gifts don’t interrupt party activities.

For guests: If it is an at-home party, stay in the areas the host is in. Don’t go into other rooms without permission, and if a restroom is needed, ask which one is for guests. If the party is at an off-site venue, have your child follow all of the rules of the establishment. If the host doesn’t specify guidelines about the party in the invitation, never assume. For instance, don’t eat the food or cake, or bring your entire family (or even extra siblings) if you haven’t asked the host.

Be Social For hosts: Meet and greet each child as they arrive. Have the birthday host play with

Teach your child not to expect to receive gifts, but if she does, compliment each guest and stay positive about every item, even if it is something that your child already has or is something he doesn’t like. If you have decided to forgo gifts, write “No gifts, please” on the invitation or “Only the favor of your company is requested.”

Favor bags aren’t necessary, and some parents may prefer for their children not get sugary candy and small plastic items. Instead, your child could pick out a memorable item to pass out to each guest who attends. For example if it is close to Christmas, your child could give everyone an inexpensive ornament, or if it is a spring party, give packets of ÀRZHU VHHGV $ VSHFLDO PHPHQWR LV QLFH — my daughter’s favorite favor was a peacock feather she received at a kindergarten party she attended.

For guests: Unless the invitation includes the message “No gifts please,” bring a gift.

It doesn’t have to be expensive and can be handmade. Giving of your time is thoughtful and many parents will be grateful for this in place of another toy that has to be picked up. Consider making a card to add to the gift with a heartfelt message written by your child.

Be Courteous For hosts: Thank each and every guest for coming and for bringing a gift, no matter how big or small. The guest (and sometimes a parent!) has taken time out of an

evening or weekend to attend a birthday party. Have your child write a thank you note to send to the guest after the party.

Use the same discretion when passing out thank you notes as you did with invitations.

For guests: Remember to RSVP. Be on time, EXW LI \RX ¿QG DUH JRLQJ WR EH ODWH FDOO and let the host know. If you have to cancel, let the host know as soon as possible, so that she can plan for enough food and favors.

Birthday party manners are a gateway for graciousness as your child grows into a teen and adult. Embrace the opportunity they present to teach your child ways to socialize, and hopefully they will be invited to more special occasions to celebrate with friends as they grow older.

Janeen Lewis is a Georgia freelance journalist and mom. She has been published in several parenting publications across the country.

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M

y daughter was nine years old when her father and I adopted her. She was abused and QHJOHFWHG GXULQJ KHU ¿UVW IRXU \HDUV DQG WKHQ ERXQFHG DURXQG IRVWHU FDUH IRU WKH QH[W ¿YH 6KH¶G OLYHG LQ homes before ours.

Amazingly, she was still willing to give trusting and loving us a shot.

It was hard work, for all of us. Sometimes it’s still hard, even years later. Like any family, we sometimes have challengHV DQG PHVV\ VSRWV 6KH¶V ¿UPO\ DWWDFKHG DQG NQRZV VKH¶V VWXFN ZLWK PH DV KHU PRP IRUHYHU EXW DGRSWLRQ LV ¿OOHG ZLWK JULHI Birthdays were especially challenging for her. They reminded her that she wasn’t always ours, and made her think of all of the hard times she had before us. She would tell us that VKH ZLVKHG ZH ZHUH KHU ¿UVW SDUHQWV LQ DGGLWLRQ WR KHU ODVW 6KH wished we were her only parents.

The thought of turning 13 was especially hard for her because she realized she wasn’t seeking the same level of independence as her peers. She still wanted to be a little girl. She ¿QDOO\ KDG D PRPP\ DQG GDGG\ ZKR WUXO\ ORYHG KHU WRRN FDUH of her, and kept her safe, and she wasn’t ready for the little kid chapter of her life to close. She had missed out on too much.

One morning during the summer before she started middle school, she began sobbing and saying that she wished she were only six, and an idea popped into my head. We missed out on KHU ¿UVW QLQH ELUWKGD\V +HU WHQWK ELUWKGD\ ZDV WKH ¿UVW RQH ZH

ZHUH SDUW RI DQG LW ZDV WKH ¿UVW ELUWKGD\ SDUW\ VKH¶G HYHU KDG I decided to redo all of the others. , KDG KHU ¿UVW ELUWKGD\ SDUW\ DOO VHW XS ZKHQ , SLFNHG KHU up from day camp that afternoon. I decorated with free printables I found online. I gave her a birthday crown to wear. We sang “Happy Birthday” and ate mini-cupcakes. We talked about WKH PLOHVWRQHV FKLOGUHQ XVXDOO\ KLW LQ WKHLU ¿UVW \HDU DQG GD\GUHDPHG DERXW ZKDW KHU ¿UVW ELUWKGD\ ZRXOG KDYH EHHQ OLNH LI she had been with us when she turned one. We played “Ring Around the Rosie.” We even gave her gifts to unwrap! (They were possessions she already owned: a playground ball and a book.)

We celebrated her second birthday the next night in the same way. We continued the birthdays over the week, celebrating as a family at dinnertime. Each party had a theme, from Dora the Explorer to cowgirls to high tea.

As I prepared for each party, I wrote my daughter a letter describing how we would have celebrated with her if she’d been with us, and what I thought she would have been like. In each letter I included photos of children of that age who look a little like her. Unfortunately, she had seen very few photos of herself from before she joined our family.

6RPH RI WKH FHOHEUDWLRQV ZHUH KDUG DQG ¿OOHG ZLWK WHDUV 'XULQJ KHU ¿IWK ELUWKGD\ UHGR SDUW\ VKH VKDUHG WKDW VKH ZDV VDG EHFDXVH ¿YH ZDV WKH ¿UVW ELUWKGD\ VKH VSHQW LQ IRVWHU FDUH Though she didn’t have a lot of memories of it, she knew that PXVW KDYH EHHQ D UHDOO\ GLI¿FXOW WLPH IRU KHU Her ninth birthday redo was especially heavy because she was in the midst of a traumatic situation that year. She remembered it very clearly. I tell her all of the time that the only way to process the hard stuff is to deal with it. These birthday redo celebrations helped her with that. She was able to process some really hard thoughts and feelings with mom and dad supporting her — and with cupcakes after!

0\ GDXJKWHU QRZ KDV D ¿OH IROGHU LQ KHU EUDLQ RI JRRG memories from these family parties — plus dozens of phoWRV ,¶P FRQ¿GHQW WKHVH SRVLWLYH PHPRULHV KHOSHG RXWZHLJK WKH negative over time. I’ve shared the story of her birthday redo parties with other adoptive families. It’s inspired many other parents to do similar events. My friend Sarah bought special Christmas ornaments to present her son with to signify the years they weren’t together before his adoption.

7LPH ÀHZ E\ DQG RXU GDXJKWHU LV QRZ DQG WKULYLQJ LQ KHU ¿UVW \HDU DW FROOHJH +HU IDWKHU DQG , KDYH JRWWHQ GLYRUFHG since we did the nine birthday parties in a week. Life changes and we create new memories. Those memories usually happen on their own. Sometimes, it’s appropriate to give them a little help so the number of happy memories outweigh the number of painful memories. It doesn’t erase the pain. It just tips the bucket a little more towards the good stuff.

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Rachael Moshman, M.Ed. is a mom, writer, educator and family advocate. She still loves birthdays, cupcakes and mixing emotional healing with a touch of silliness.

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FAMILY TRAVEL — by Deborah Williams

Travel Documents

T

he New Year is a good time to make sure travel documents for the entire family are in order. Do not become a travel disaster statistic and be left waiting at the cruise terminal or the airline gate because your travel documents were not in order.

Yes, this has happened to people, including families with children and their costs were not refunded.

Travelers are responsible for making sure they have the most up-to-date information on needed travel documents.

Billboards have started appearing in our area advertising a change in docuPHQWV QHHGHG IRU À\LQJ 6WDUWLQJ LQ 2Ftober, a regular New York State license or ID card will not allow Americans to À\ GRPHVWLFDOO\ $GXOWV ZLOO QHHG DQ (Qhanced driver’s license, REAL ID card, a passport or a NEXUS card. Children under 18 do not need a new ID. Western New Yorkers are lucky since we live on the U.S.-Canadian border and have access to the NEXUS card. If approved, the NEXUS card allows drivers to use special lanes at the Peace Bridge and other international bridges.

The card also includes TSA precheck, Global Entry for returning international travelers, and serves as a Real ID required for domestic air travel. Everyone in a car crossing into Canada or returning to the U.S. must have a NEXUS card to use the special ODQHV 7KH FDUGV FRVW IRU ¿YH \HDUV Children under age 18 must also have the card, but it is free for them.

The NEXUS membership card is a valid document under the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative (WHTI) so it also FDQ EH XVHG LQ SODFH RI D SDVVSRUW LI À\ing between the US and Canada. A valid :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

SDVVSRUW LV QHHGHG IRU À\LQJ RU FUXLVLQJ to vast majority of other countries.

The NEXUS program allows prescreened travelers expedited processing when entering the United States and &DQDGD (QUROO RQOLQH DQG ZKHQ QRWL¿HG you will schedule an appointment for interviews. The whole family can schedule appointments together. The closest appointment locations are at the Niagara Falls Enrollment Center, 2250 Whirlpool St., Niagara Falls and the Buffalo Fort Erie Enrollment Center, 10 Central Ave., Fort Erie.

Children under 18 need consent from a parent or legal guardian to enroll in NEXUS. At least one custodial parent must accompany the child to the interview, and they must have evidence of custody without restrictions.

It is preferable to have a legal letter stating that the custodial parent has rights for taking the child/children out RI WKH FRXQWU\ 7KLV OHWWHU LV DQ RI¿FLDO GRFXPHQW FRQ¿UPLQJ WKDW WKH FKLOG LV QRW taken against his/her will or abducted.

Parents’ full name, address and phone are mandatory information that has to be included in the authorized letter.

Bring everyone’s passports, driver’s OLFHQVHV DQG FKLOGUHQ¶V ELUWK FHUWL¿FDWHV to the interview. Both U.S. and Canadian agents must approve everyone’s NEXUS application.

Border agents are always on the lookout for the possibility of child abduction. Federal law prohibits a parent from removing a child from the United States or retaining a child in another country with the intent to obstruct another parent’s custodial rights.

Thirty years ago, my sister, her husband, and their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter were held at an U.S. Canada

border crossing while on a camping trip to Alaska. They did not have their daughWHU¶V ELUWK FHUWL¿FDWH ZLWK WKHP DQG GHspite the fact that my brother-in-law is DQ DWWRUQH\ KH LV GH¿QLWHO\ D PXFK ROGHU father and agents were suspicious. They ¿QDOO\ DOORZHG WKHP WR FURVV WKH ERUGHU after calling one of his grown daughters to verify the family’s situation.

For pet owners, there are no NEXUS cards for dogs but be sure to travel ZLWK \RXU GRJ¶V UDELHV FHUWL¿FDWH ZKHQ crossing the U.S.-Canadian border.

Once you receive your card, you can take advantage of domestic TSA Pre&KHFN EHQH¿WV E\ HQWHULQJ \RXU PHPbership number in the Trusted Traveler QXPEHU ¿HOG ZKHQ \RX ERRN D ÀLJKW That membership number gives TSA the ability to proceed with the Trusted TravHOHU YHUL¿FDWLRQ DQG \RX ZLOO EH DEOH WR use expedited (and shorter) security lines at airports. Currently, security checkpoints for TSA PreCheck passengers can leave on their shoes, belt, and light outerwear, and don’t have to remove electronics or quart-sized plastic bags containing liquids, aerosols, gels, creams and pastes from their carry-ons to pass through the checkpoints. (These are limited to 3.4 ounces or less per item. This is also known as the 3-1-1 liquids rule.)

If children will be crossing an international border without a parent, it is always a good idea to travel with a notarized letter giving the adult permission to take the child across the border.

When my niece was young, I always traveled with such a letter when we were visiting another country. It is also a good idea if a child will be traveling with grandparents or another adult to include a letter giving the adult authority to approve emergency medical care.

New York State offers customers three options when it comes to getting a driver’s license, permit, or non-driver ID. Beginning October 1 only the Enhanced or REAL ID will be accepted for À\LQJ GRPHVWLFDOO\ HQWHULQJ FHUWDLQ IHGeral buildings and military bases (unless you have a passport or NEXUS card).

The Enhanced license costs $30 additional but also serves as acceptable LGHQWL¿FDWLRQ ZKHQ FURVVLQJ WKH 8 6 Canadian border.

If your family is planning a trip outside the country, chilGUHQ XQGHU H[FHSW IRU &DQDGD ZKHUH D ELUWK FHUWL¿FDWH ZLOO EH VXI¿FLHQW LI WUDYHOLQJ E\ ODQG ZLOO QHHG D SDVVSRUW DV ZLOO DGXOWV (YHQ EDELHV QHHG D SDVVSRUW 0DQ\ ORFDO 3RVW 2I¿FHV handle passport applications.

Always check regulations for each country. Remember international travel procedures can be strict and unforgiving at times, especially if you don’t have all the required documents in advance.

In most cases, if a passport is required it must be valid for at least six months after you are scheduled to leave the counWU\ 3HRSOH KDYH EHHQ GHQLHG JHWWLQJ RQ WKHLU ÀLJKW LI WKH SDVVport valid date was off by one day. Airlines and cruise lines are tasked by federal laws with making sure all documents are current for travelers.

It often takes several months to receive a passport so plan ahead. In an emergency situation it is possible to get an emergency or expedited passport. $ ZDUQLQJ WR DOO ZKHQ PDNLQJ D ÀLJKW RU FUXLVH UHVHUYDWLRQ The name on the ticket MUST exactly match the name on your passport or ID. There are no exceptions. No airline will allow D SDVVHQJHU WR À\ ZKHQ WKH QDPH RQ WKH SDVVSRUW RU RWKHU UHquired ID and the name on the ticket aren’t the same. Don’t use a nickname on the airline ticket when the name on the passport is the complete formal name.

The Department of Transportation’s 24-hour rule requires all airlines that operate in the United States to allow passengers to cancel purchased tickets within 24 hours after purchase without penalty or allow for a 24 hour hold, but not both. Flights that are booked less than seven days before departure are ineligible for a penalty free cancellation.

What happens if a name is incorrect? If it is within 24 hours and the ticket was purchased directly with the airline, call and cancel the ticket. You can then rebook without penalty. If it more than 24 hours since the purchase, it never hurts to ask but if that fails, you must pay the change fee and rebook at the curUHQW FRVW RI WKH ÀLJKW ,W ZLOO EH D FRVWO\ OHVVRQ EXW \RX ZRQ¶W miss your dream vacation.

It is also very important that cruise information is totally accurate. Many travelers use a travel agent for cruise travel. It can be helpful to have a professional involved in more complex travel. The agent will know which ships or cruise lines allow two-year-old children in the children’s program and which ones require an older minimum age. She will also know what travel documents are needed.

Travel Tip of the Month: For information on getting a SDVVSRUW FKHFN ZLWK \RXU SRVW RI¿FH RU YLVLW www.dhs.gov/ how-do-i/apply-us-passport. For information on the NEXUS program visit ttp.cbp.dhs.gov. For a New York State Enhanced Driver’s License visit dmv.ny.gov/driver-license or a local FRXQW\ FOHUN¶V RI¿FH Deborah Williams is a veteran travel writer who lives in Holland, NY. Her work appears in national and international publications and she is the recipient of the Society of American Travel Writers Lowell Thomas Gold Travel Writing Award.

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C A L E N D A R O F E V E N T S • J A N U A RY 2 0 2 0 • C A L E N D A R O F E V E N T S • J A N U A RY 2 0 2 0 activities located throughout the museum.

Fearless Family Play Days are $3 off admission for BlueCross BlueShield of WNY members with proof of membership.

Explore & More, 130 Main Street, Buffalo.

716-655-5131. www.exploreandmore.org

WEDNESDAY | JANUARY 1 Poinsettia and Railway Exhibit continues through January 5. It includes over 1,000 beautiful poinsettias and a Garden Railway display. 10am-4:30pm. Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens, 2655 South Park Ave., Buffalo. 716-827-1584. www. buffalogardens.com Classic Toys School Break continues through January 5. Take a trip through time with classic toys popular from different eras. Check out colorful patterns of tin kaleidoscopes and pretend to ring a friend on the Fisher-Price Chatter Phone. Set spinnable tops into motion and share a story with a sock monkey. Be sure to visit The Strong’s Toy Hall of Fame exhibit to view other classic toys inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame. Included with general museum admission. The Strong Museum, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester. 585-2632700. www.museumofplay.org

FRIDAY | JANUARY 3

Play Late Til’ 8! Join us as we extend the play for parents who work, kids who need a night of getting their energy out or families looking for an excuse to play together! No prior registration required; included with admission. Explore & More,

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130 Main St., Buffalo. 716-655-5131. www.exploreandmore.org Au-Some Aquarium Special evenings, 6pm-8pm, dedicated to providing a safe, supportive, sensory-friendly environment where families with autism can meet, learn, & have fun together. Families enjoy a touch tank, sea lion show, sensory and art activities, gluten-free snacks, and information resources from community partners. $10 per family; $5 individual.

All ages welcome! Call for registration.

Aquarium of Niagara, 701 Whirlpool St., Niagara Falls. 716-323-6435. www. aquariumofniagara.org

SATURDAY | JANUARY 4 Fearless Family Play Day offers a full day, 9am-5pm, of fun and engaging healthy

Stars in My Backyard This live program, 1:30pm, presents Buffalo’s winter night sky by giving a tour of the constellations, planets, and other celestial objects in a way geared toward families with children ages 4 and up.

Program repeated on January 11. Tickets: $8. Reservations highly recommended but not required. Reserved tickets in advance online or call 716-878-4911. Whitworth Ferguson Planetarium 1300 Elmwood Ave. Buckham Hall - Buffalo State College. www.fergusonplanetarium.net Perfect Little Planet - An Alien’s Tour of Our Solar System Imagine the ultimate space vacation. Discover our solar system through a different set of eyes — a family from another star system seeking the perfect vacation spot. 3pm; appropriate for ages 4 and above. Program repeated on January 11. Tickets: $8. Reservations highly recommended but not required.

Reserve tickets in advance online or call 716-878-4911. Whitworth Ferguson Planetarium 1300 Elmwood Ave. Buckham Hall - Buffalo State College. www. fergusonplanetarium.net

FRIDAY | JANUARY 10

Au-Some Evenings Once a month, these special Au-Some Evenings, 5pm-8pm, give children with autism spectrum disorder and sensory processing disorder, their friends, and family an opportunity to play and learn together in an understanding and supportive environment. Reserve your spot by emailing accessibility@

Look for more calendar events on our UPDATED website! www.wnyfamilymagazine.com exploreandmore.org. Explore & More, 130 Main St., Buffalo. 716-655-5131. www. exploreandmore.org Full Moon Owl Prowl :KRRR ÀLHV through the Western New York night sky on silent wings? Join us for an outdoor owl prowl, 7pm-8:30pm, followed by an indoor workshop of hands-on “owly” activities.

For ages 5 to adult. $8 per participant.

Advance registration required. Tifft Nature Preserve, 1200 Fuhrmann Blvd., Buffalo.

716-825-6397. www.tifft.org Build a Snowman at West Side Community Services. Do you want to build a snowman? Come down to WSCS to have fun without all the cold, 5:30pm-7:30pm.

This snowman craft is fun for people of all ages! FREE. West Side Community Services, 161 Vermont Street, Buffalo. 716884-6616. www.wscsbuffalo.org

SATURDAY | JANUARY 11

Believe in Unicorns Do you believe in unicorns? Snap a photo with the Unicorn Princess and Prince. Learn about Hercules, 7KH 6WURQJ¶V ZKLWHPDUJLQ XQLFRUQ¿VK ZLWK the museum’s biologist. Make a unicorn horn to wear, play unicorn ring toss, and more. Sat. Jan. 11 & Sun. Jan. 12. Included with general museum admission. The Strong Museum, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester.

585-263-2700. www.museumofplay.org

SUNDAY | JANUARY 12 Sensory-Friendly Sunday Enjoy The Strong (9am-12pm) before it opens to the public at an exclusive event designed for children with special sensory, developmental, or physical needs.

Explore the museum in a comfortable and accepting environment that features fewer guests, light and sound reduction, extra visual safety signage, and designated quiet areas that include sensory friendly toys. Delight in a visit to Dancing Wings %XWWHUÀ\ *DUGHQ EHIRUH QRRQ DQG VWRU\ readings with the Unicorn Princess at 10 and 11am. Space is limited to 250 guests.

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

Registration required. Tickets will not be sold at the door. Registrants may choose to stay after the museum opens at noon to the public. The Strong Museum, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester. 585-263-2700. www. museumofplay.org

FRIDAY | JANUARY 17 M&T Third Friday Free museum admission to The Museum and the Resource Center, 10am-5pm. Kids Activities at the museum (10am-11:30am & 3pm-4:30pm); Docent Tours of both buildings (1pm-

3pm); and Artifact Discovery (11am-3pm).

The Buffalo History Museum, 1 Museum Court, Buffalo. 716-873-9644. www. buffalohistory.org Open House at Albright-Knox Northland Come see this new venue which will serve as a programming space while the Gallery’s Elmwood Ave. campus is closed for construction.

5pm-7pm; Pay what you wish. Drop In Art Activity with artist Edra Soto on Saturday, January 18, 1-3pm; adorn bottles with cast clay seashells. Albright-Knox Northland, 612 Northland Ave., Buffalo. 716-882-8700.

SATURDAY | JANUARY 18 STEM Saturdays offer a full day of fun, 9am-5pm, and engaging STEM activities located throughout the museum. Come play your way through Science, Technology, Engineering & Math based activities that are so fun, kids don’t even know they’re learning!

Explore & More, 130 Main St., Buffalo.

716-655-5131. www. exploreandmore.org Snowshoes and Hot Cocoa Enjoy this FREE weekend program, Sat. & Sun., Jan. 18 & 19, by borrowing a pair of snowshoes for D WULS WKURXJK 'HODZDUH 3DUN DQG ¿QLVK the trek at the Martin House for some hot cocoa! 10am-1pm. Afterwards, participants have the option of taking a one-hour tour of the Martin House at a reduced cost of $10 per person. Darwin Martin House State Historic Site, 125 Jewett Pkwy., Buffalo.

716-549-1050. www.martinhouse.org Woods Walk: Tracks in the Snow Join a guided nature walk at 11am to look for tracks left by our resident animals. No registration required.

FREE. Reinstein Woods Nature Preserve, 93 Honorine Dr., Depew.

716-683-5959. www. dec.ny.gov

MONDAY | JANUARY 20 Wegmans Family Day Visit the Wegmans’ Family Garden and hands-on stations to participate in fun seasonal activities,

WINTER FUN at The Ice at Canalside offers a variety of fun activities this winter. Lace up your skates to take a spin on the canal!

Admission is FREE for ages 5 and under; $4 ages 6-12; and $6 ages 13 and up. Family (up to 4 skaters) season passes are also available.

Don’t have skates?

Rentals are $4 in sizes Youth 7 to Adult 14 ($5 during holidays and school breaks such as Jan. 1, Feb. 14, 18-24). Training Walkers ($2) and adorable Penguin Skate Aids ($6) are available for those who need a bit of support. Lockers can be rented for $1. Show your BlueCross BlueShield of WNY membership card for $1 off skate admission and $1 off skate rental.

Hours vary depending on weather (check https://buffalowaterfront.com/ for current conditions and times), but there is no skating on Mondays (except for Presidents’ Day and MLK Jr. Day) and Tuesdays.

Special weekday hours will be in effect during school breaks.

Don’t ice skate? You can still get on the ice! Ice Bikes of Buffalo™ (716-681-4643) combines the activity of riding a bike along with the ability to perform this feat while on the surface of the ice. The cost is $12 per half hour for a single rider.

Ice bumper car rentals are available at select times during open ice skating.

Bumper cars are $7 for 7 minutes and must be reserved in the Winter Pavilion. Solo operators must be age 6 or older; duo passengers are limited to ages 3-5 and must be accompanied by an operator age 18 or older.

Heated, transparent geodesic dome igloos are Canalside’s newest feature. Rental of an igloo for 90 minutes, with space for up to 8 individuals, is $149 and includes admission and skate rentals for up to 8 skaters.

7KH ¿UVW URXQG RI DOFRKROLF RU non-alcoholic beverages is included, as well as complimentary hot cocoa.

(Note that no outside food and drinks are permitted in the igloos.)

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C A L E N D A R O F E V E N T S • J A N U A RY 2 0 2 0 • C A L E N D A R O F E V E N T S • J A N U A RY 2 0 2 0

CONTINUED… 10am-4pm. Appropriate for children ages 4-12. Included with Gardens admission; kids 12 & under FREE. Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens, 2655 South Park Ave., Buffalo. 716-827-1584. www. buffalogardens.com Community Health Day Families are invited to enjoy FREE general museum admission, 10am-2pm, and explore together at Independent Health’s annual Community Health Day! Fun and interactive happenings with a focus on health and wellness throughout the museum, including a special challenge in our health science studio, “Explore YOU” presented by Independent Health. Buffalo Museum of Science, 1020 Humboldt Pkwy., Buffalo. 716-896-5200. www.sciencebuff.org Martin Luther King Jr. Day Join us at at the museum for this holiday, 10am-4pm, as we explore concepts of acceptance, tolerance, and diversity through fun and engaging activities related to Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Explore & More, 130 Main Street, Buffalo. 716-655-5131. www. exploreandmore.org Day of Compassion Commemorate the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with performances and activities focused on treating people with compassion, 11am4pm. The Strong Museum, 1 Manhattan Sq., Rochester. 585-263-2700. www. museumofplay.org

TUESDAY | JANUARY 21

Little Tykes Mini Nature Camp Enjoy a morning of fun and exploration in our early childhood classroom, 9:30am-11:30am.

Storytime, crafts, outdoor investigation and more help to foster the nature explorer in your child (Ages 3-5). A different theme each month. Kid-friendly snacks provided!

Pre-registration required. Non-Member: $7 per child with adult. Call 716-8256397 or visit www.TIFFT.org. Tifft Nature Preserve, 1200 Fuhrmann Blvd., Buffalo.

SATURDAY | JANUARY 25

Lumagination The interior of the Botanical Gardens will be illuminated to excite imaginations, stimulate the senses and entertain all ages with “Mysterious Minerals” - simulated salt caves, stalactites, wooden sculptures, balancing stones, geodes, and crystals! January 25, 26; 29-31; February 1, 5-9, 12-22, 26-29. 10am-4:30pm. Visit their website for a list of “specialty nights.”

Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens, 2655 South Park Ave., Buffalo. 716-8271584. www.buffalogardens.com Elephant and Piggie Delight in a weekend, Jan. 25 & 26, dedicated to Mo Willems’ iconic children’s books. Snap a photo with Elephant and Piggie and enjoy story readings of “We Are in a Book” and “Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus.” Act out scenes from “Let’s Go for a Drive!”

DQG FUHDWH \RXU RZQ .QXIÀH %XQQ\ WR WDNH home. Visit the Pigeon Play Area and stop the pigeon from causing trouble. Included with general museum admission. The Strong

Museum, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester.

585-263-2700. www.museumofplay.org Miss Nelson Is Missing 6SLWEDOOV À\LQJ across the room, paper airplanes sailing every which way, and uncontrollable children send the nice, gentle, longsuffering teacher, Miss Nelson, over the edge. But the students of Room 207 are in for a surprise when Miss Nelson is suddenly missing! Recommended for ages 6 & up. Performances: Jan. 25 & 26 (2pm), Feb 1 & 2 (2pm), Feb 8 & 9 (2pm), and a sensory-friendly perfomance on Feb. 9 at 10am. Audiences will enjoy a special Talk-Back and Photo Opportunity with the Cast after all performances. Tickets: $15, available online at www.theatreofyouth. org or by calling 716-884-4400, ext. 304.

Theatre of Youth, 203 Allen St., Buffalo.

716-884-4400.

National School Choice Week Chess Tournament Chess attracts the widest diversity of players of any sport, so allages (and all-skills) are invited to celebrate school choice in WNY at this annual chess tournament! 9:30am-5pm. Register online at www.register.EVCSchess.club by 12:01am Thursday, Jan. 23; pay your entry fee at the door! Boards, pieces and chess clocks will be provided. Just bring your chess-playin’ self! Sponsored by the EVCS 6FKRODVWLF &KHVV &OXE D 86&) DI¿OLDWH in WNY since 2017. Elmwood Village Charter School, 40 Days Park, Buffalo.

716-406-7001. http://event.evcschess.club

Our calendar lists events for children, parents, and families as a whole. Space limitations prevent our listing all details, so be sure to call ahead for information and any changes that may have occurred after our print deadline. If you would like your event to be considered for inclusion in the FEBRUARY CALENDAR, information must reach us no later than: JANUARY

1WT 1PNƮG %Cƾưǁ ƿ "TQRSHMF YƻJ 'DžƷU Amusement Rides Animals Art Class & Programs Baby Friendly Bicycling Breastfeeding Camp Canalside Children’s Entertainment Children’s Theater Christmas College Preparation Concerts & Live Music Cooking Classes Crafts & Hobbies Dance

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Early Childhood Music Education & Learning Farms & Markets Festivals & Fairs Fitness Food & Drink For A Good Cause Free Event Gluten Free Grandparents Gymnastics Halloween Health & Wellness Hike History Home & Garden

15TH at NOON calendar@wnyfamilymagazine.com

6SDFH LV XQOLPLWHG LQ F\EHUVSDFH DQG \RX¶OO ¿QG lots more to do in these categories with the click of your mouse at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com Indoor Recreation Kids Eat Free Leisure & Recreation Library Program Living History Martial Arts Movie Museum Event Nature & Outdoors Outdoors Parents Plants & Gardens Playgroups Religion & Spirituality Run/Walk Science & Technology

Scouting Single Parenting Skiing Special Needs Sports Story Time Storytelling Support Groups Theater Performance This & That Tweens & Teens Vacation & Holiday Valentine’s Day Workshops Zoo

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W

e raise our kids to be polite and respectful in person so why wouldn’t we stress those same values in the online environment? A digital citizenship contract can help you spell out your expectations of appropriate online behavior and send a clear message about how seriously you take your child’s safety and online reputation.

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Involve your kids in the process of outlining the contract to start a family dialogue about issues that can come up.

Here’s a checklist of points to cover in your contract: Treat others with dignity and respect. In other words, treat people the same way you wish to be treated, just like in person. Unacceptable behavior includes: %

Posting/texting cruel remarks

%

Gossiping

%

Bullying

%

Using profanity

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Impersonating others

Start 2020 with A Family Digital Citizenship Contract dress the situation together, whether they need to craft an apology or remove a comment or photo.

Think before your post. “TeenDJHUV DUH DOO DERXW LQVWDQW JUDWL¿FDWLRQ They aren’t necessarily thinking: ‘Well, if I do this how is this going to affect the other person? How’s this going to affect my life in the future?’ says Sarah Manriquez, a licensed clinical social worker.

Remind your kids to ask themselves questions like:

Don’t talk to strangers. Some free texting and gaming apps (ex., textPlus and Clash of Clans) permit members to connect with other members even if they aren’t “friends.” Emphasize that exchanging text messages with someone they don’t know is the same as talking with a stranger. Often kids don’t view texting and talking in the same light.

%

Would I want Mom or Dad to see this?

%

How would I feel about Grandma seeing this?

Guard personal information.

Avoid posting personal information in response from unknown individuals in a chat room or a public forum like:

%

Would I be embarrassed if everyone in school saw it?

Show empathy. Explain that when they forward or share photos/texts/video that are harmful to a peer, they inadvertently condone cyberbullying. Also, steer clear of mean-spirited chat rooms where anonymous members dish up snarky, cruel comments for entertainment.

Ask permission. Before logging LQWR VRPHRQH¶V SHUVRQDO GHYLFH DVN ¿UVW and then log back off the device when ¿QLVKHG 7HOO \RXU FKLOG WKDW EHIRUH downloading an app, he needs to discuss LW ZLWK \RX ¿UVW Personal accountability matters. Errors of judgment happen and kids are still learning. Immediately ad-

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Email address (don’t use your email as a user name)

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Home address

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Social security number

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School name

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Birthday with year

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Photos with geotags (switch off the camera’s location tag under privacy settings.)

Assume everything posted is public. Texts, images, and posts can be saved and shared. Mine the latest news, TV shows, and other media for examples that can lead to conversation and empathy-building opportunities. Kids are generally more open to discussing mistakes made by people outside of their immediate circle of friends.

Ignore attacks. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, one in three students has experienced cyberbullying. Tell your kids to let you or another trusted adult know if someone bullies them. Reacting or reWDOLDWLQJ JHQHUDOO\ DGGV IXHO WR WKH ¿UH If the bullying continues, your child can politely ask the person to stop; report the behavior to the content provider; and/or block the individual. Preserve the evidence and contact law enforcement if your child feels scared or threatened.

Check out Thatsnotcool.com, a site geared for kids featuring scenarios and text responses to help kids manage cyberbullying, dating violence and awkward peer situations like password requests and gossip.

Establish boundaries. Declare the car or areas of the house as nophone/no-device zones at certain times of the day. At the end of the day, power down and store electronic devices in a central location of your home.

Disconnecting periodically allows for more opportunities to connect as a family, engage in creative pursuits, get adequate sleep and complete homework and chores. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 72 percent of kids between the ages of 6 and 17 have electronic devices in their rooms. Blame the blue light or incoming message alerts, continued on page 47 -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

over the top lid rather than under the bottom lid. Eyeliner under your eyes can make your eyes look smaller and closer together. Instead, take a dark liner, start slightly at the center and draw a thin line outward above your lashes to just past the outside corner of your eye. Flick the line slightly upward when you gently smudge the liner with a cotton swab.

Add a coat of mascara and you are ready for date night.

Fashion Forward

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Sensual Home Spa for the Mom Who Wants Her Strut Back

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ama, if you can’t remember the last time you took a nice long bath, shaved \RXU OHJV ¿[HG XS \RXU KDLU RU FDUHG whether or not you smelled good, you might qualify for this sensual intervention.

important, especially if tweezing is all you plan to do with them. Pluck strays from underneath your brows after a nice hot shower. Take your time; get it right.

And then arch away.

Perhaps it is time to recover your strut. Get your groove back by following these simple strategies to create your own home spa experience. Once you are ready to look good, you’ll remember how great it feels, and be ready to strut your stuff again.

Here is a list of ways to create a simple home spa treatment that can help revive your strut from head to toe:

If you are not among the lipstick obsessed, that’s okay. There are many tinted lip balms on the market these days you can stock up on. If you are a lipstick person, consider lip stains that saturate your lips with color without leaving a greasy smudge on your coffee cup. But save a little money for a couple lip balms to seal in the color and protect your lips from chapping.

Hair Extraordinaire

Multiple Benefits

The right haircut can make you look thinner, younger, and sexier — and then you’ll feel better every time you look in the mirror. Color adds an air of drama.

A streak of blond or color, why not?

Highlights make hair look more summery. Dark hair is dramatic and mysterious. Take a fresh look at your hair. What would make you love it? More importantly, what style would look great on you? Ask your stylist for ideas.

Arch This

When I was younger, I thought that WKH ZKROH SHUIHFW H\HEURZ ¿[DWLRQ ZDV overblown. But now that I am older, I realize that nicely shaped eyebrows are :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

Kissy Face

Perhaps one of the easiest ways to feel better inside and out is to make sure that you are getting 100% of your vitamins and minerals by taking a daily multi-vitamin plus iron. If you are ironGH¿FLHQW \RX¶OO QRWLFH WKH GLIIHUHQFH Visit your local healthy foods store for the best selection according to your age and needs. If you need accountability, try using a day-of-the-week pill holder and set your phone alarm to remind you to pop a vitamin after dinner.

Bedroom Eyes

Over lunch one day, a mom buddy gave me the secret to alluring eyes. As we get older the eyeliner looks better

Make healthy food choices and stay active, if you want your kids to follow suit. In the meantime, you will look best E\ ZHDULQJ FORWKHV WKDW ¿W \RXU FXUUHQW ¿JXUH )ODWWHULQJ DQG DIIRUGDEOH FORWKLQJ DUH HDV\ WR ¿QG QR PDWWHU ZKDW NLQG RI shape you are in, thanks to an abundance of second-hand stores and consignment shops. And don’t forget end-of-season clearance sales. Keep your wardrobe stocked with everything from a dressyGUHVV WR JUHDW ¿WWLQJ MHDQV )URP VWUDSS\ sandals to attitude boots.

Rock Every Angle

As for how you look from all angles, you are going to feel a lot better about your curves if they are cradled in the appropriate undergarments. Purchase bras where you know you will get DQ LQIRUPHG ¿W 0DNH VXUH \RXU SDQWLHV are comfortable, breathable cotton. Steer clear of sophisticated marketing that would have you spend too much on impractical underwear you’ll never wear.

But if you see some lingerie that’s just your style, go for it.

Slough It Off

Create an exfoliating kit and use it at least once a month. Start with a Loofah brush and mitt. Add a scrub brush IRU \RXU ¿QJHUQDLOV DQG WRHQDLOV DQG D pumice stone for the bottoms of your feet. When you use these tools with an exfoliating scrub, you’ll eliminate a whole layer of dead, dull skin. A good moisturizing lotion or oil applied while your skin is moist will have you glowing all over.

A Cheerful Touch

Pick a favorite nail color each season that goes with most of what you

ZHDU 7ULP DQG ¿OH \RXU WRHQDLOV DQG SXW two coats of it on your toes. Follow with a quick topcoat or two — if you have kids or pets who step on your toes a lot.

Almost there! Dab a little scented oil or perfume on your pulse points and stand in front of a full-length mirror.

Take a moment to appreciate how good you look and feel.

When you take care of your sensual self, the reward is immediate and carries over into everything you do. You’ll feel inspired to look your best because you will feel your best. Enjoy the newly revived you.

Shopping list for your home spa: One talented hair stylist visited quarterly Set of great-smelling shampoo and conditioner Deep conditioner for weekly use Inexpensive pair of eyebrow tweezers Lip Stains in colors you often wear + lip balms Multi-vitamin with iron Self-sharpening eyeliner pencil Eyelash curler

Christ the King School =TTS`W\U >`S9! &bV 5`ORS 1ZOaaSa

OPEN HOUSE

Sunday, January 26 11am - 1pm

DISCOVER the difference of a St. Greg’s EDUCATION today!

PK3, PK4, EK, and K - 8

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At St. Gregory the Great, our goal is to develop students who learn, live and lead as Disciples of Christ. We focus on prayer, positive relationships, strong curriculum and a variety of sports starting as young as Kindergarten.

2 Lamarck Dr. j Snyder, NY 14226 839-0473 j www.myctkschool.com

www.stgregsschool.org

OPEN HOUSE Sunday, January 26 (! O[ (! ^[ 250 St. Gregory Ct. | Williamsville, NY 14221

(716) 688-5323

ENTER TO WIN

Party Giveaway!

Ninja Warrior Party for 12 at

Email and text discounts to your favorite clothing and lingerie stores Seasonal visits to clearance sales and favorite thrift stores Loofah brush, loofah mitt, SXPLFH VWRQH ¿QJHUQDLO EUXVK and exfoliating scrub

INCLUDES play on Ninja Warrior obstacles with ƚƌĂŝŶĞĚ EŝŶũĂ ŽĂĐŚĞƐ͕ ƟŵĞ ŝŶ Ă ĚĞůƵdžĞ ƉĂƌƚLJ ƌŽŽŵ ǁŝƚŚ Ă ĚĞĚŝĐĂƚĞĚ ƉĂƌƚLJ ŚŽƐƚ͕ ƉŝnjnjĂ ĂŶĚ Ă tĂƌƌŝŽƌ WĂĐŬ Θ ŐŝŌ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ďŝƌƚŚĚĂLJ ĐŚŝůĚ͘

Moisturizing lotion or body oil

ENTRY DEADLINE: January 28, 2020

Nail clippers and emery boards

YES! Enter Us In “THE WARRIOR FACTORY BUFFALO PARTY” Drawing!

Nail polish in a fresh color and clear topcoat

NAME __________________________________________________________________

Scented body oils or perfumes to suit different moods

(ONE entry per family/address. No photocopies accepted. No purchase necessary.)

STREET ________________________________________________________________ CITY _______________________________ STATE ________ ZIP _________________ PHONE __________________________ Kids ages: _____________________________

Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz is always on the lookout for a free hour, so she can squeeze in a quick home spa treatment.

If you would like to receive our FREE Digital Issue, please provide your email (optional).

Email: __________________________________________________________________ MAIL ENTRY to: WNY Family, 3147 Delaware Ave., Suite B, Buffalo, NY 14217

To enter online, visit www.wnyfamilymagazine.com -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

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Mount St. Mary Day Care

Serving the Community for 25 Years!

Call

877-3464

Today!

3 Accepting Children 18mos.-12yrs. 3 3 Preschool 3 Before & After School Care 3 Open 6:30am - 6:00pm 855 Englewood • Tonawanda, NY

www.msmdaycare.org

Northmore Nursery School

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Wednesday, January 22nd 9:30am–11:00am 6:00pm-8:00pm

A loving, caring atmosphere Classes for 3, 4 and +4 year olds Special visitors, field trips & family days 2771 Delaware Avenue • Kenmore, NY

Call 876-6282

www.northmorenurseryschool.com :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

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H

ave you watched Mean Girls (SNL Studios) with your teen daughter?

There is a memorable line in the movie when Mrs. George states, “I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a COOL mom.”

Of course, Mrs. George is a caricature of a mom trying too hard to be “one of the girls.”

She makes mocktails for “happy hour,” wears skimpy clothing, and allows her daughter to occupy the master bedroom suite.

Are You a COOL Parent?

Val-Essen describes, “Cool parents are parents teens can be proud of. Parents engaged in meaningful activities — those that keep them alive and passionate about life — are cool parents teens admire.”

Are “cool parents” more in tune with their teens? What does it really mean to be a cool parent?

A cool parent is someone who can relate to teens but still establishes a position of respect and authority. A cool parent might occasionally forego a night out with her spouse so her teen can invite friends over for pizza.

She might shake her thing to the latest version of Just Dance (Wii video game) with her teen daughter and her girlfriends. However, it’s not so cool — and will likely embarrass her teen — if she suddenly decided to talk like a rap artist or wear a string bikini during her teen’s backyard pool party.

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cVVS pIXLUZY IXL tX[S_ cVUULKZLØ Cool parents know that the key to staying on the same page as their teenagers is to stay involved and interested in their dreams and goals.

Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D., author of Bring Out the Best in Your Child and Your Self: Creating a Family Based on Mutual Respect (Quality Parenting) DQG DQ LQQRYDWRU LQ WKH ¿HOG RI SDUHQW education, believes that teens want to stay connected with their parents even though, at times, it seems that they prefer their own world. “Respect is the link,” she explains. “Respect yourself, :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

lingo. However, parents are older and different than their teens, and trying to look and sound like them may seem fake. Parents can connect with teens by being authentic and empathetic.”

TWEENS & TEENS — by Myrna Beth Haskell your children, and those with whom you interact.” She says that teens will be naturally drawn to parents who are powerful role models.

Christina G. Hibbert, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist, mother of six, and author of This is How We Grow (Oracle Folio Books), points out, “One of the worst things parents can do is try to be their teen’s friend. They have plenty of ‘cool’ friends. Instead of trying to be like your teen, focus on being open to your teen. Do activities with them that they enjoy. Make time to listen whenever they need you.”

Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC, a psychotherapist specializing in parenting and family relationships, explains, “It is common for people to think that in order to connect with their teens they need to get down on a teen’s level by wearing similar clothing or talking the

Parents should be aware of the latest teen trends, both good and bad. Educate yourself about new social media sites, music, movies, as well as anything illicit or unhealthy teens might be exposed to. You can’t advise your teen if you don’t know what is going on.

Staying connected with your teen also means that you are familiar with his current circle of friends and his social activities. Allow your teen to have friends over regularly so you can get to know them on a more personal basis.

Take your teen on regular outings and spend time doing something your teen loves, even if it makes the hairs on your DUP VWDQG XS H J ZDLWLQJ IRU WKH ¿UVW car on a hyper coaster, etc.).

wOIZ Y ZOL b[`` Communication is the key to all successful relationships. Teens don’t always talk to their parents about what is going on, but parents must keep trying to break that barrier.

Malonai, recommends, “Listen to your teen with all that you have, and make sure you are available when the time is right.” She also advises parents to show interest in their teen’s feelings without using accusatory language.

For instance, a parent might say, “The words in that song tell a sad story, yet you are smiling. This makes me curious.” She explains that empathetic lis-

tening takes practice but is necessary.

SINGLE PARENTING

Val-Essen advises, “Wear an antenna! Show an interest in their world.

Also, share openly about the meaningful aspects of your day to create an atmosphere where exchange is natural.”

— by Diane C. Dierks, LMFT

“Know what is happening in their life and who is important in their life.

Even if they seem bothered by your questions, keep asking,” Hibbert says.

“They need you more than they will admit, and they want you to be interested in them.”

Being a cool parent shouldn’t mean you morph into a middle-aged adolescent. Instead, it should mean that you haven’t forgotten what it is like to EH FDUHIUHH DQG \RX FDQ VWLOO ¿QG \RXU sense of humor. Perhaps it means that you understand your teen is changing and you embrace those changes and his need for more independence. However, at the same time, you still insist that he follows a set of rules and expectations.

Now, that’s cool!

TIPS & TALES “I try to remind my son that I was his age once and have “been there” even though it was during the age of the dinosaurs!”

— Lori Ann Jones, Salt Point, NY “To stay connected with my teen daughter, I get up to take her to the bus. It’s when we talk without interruptions from siblings, pets, or the phone. It’s when I get the daily forecast, results from the previous night’s reality show, and hear about what’s going on at school.”

— Lynda Radano, Berlin, NJ Myrna Beth Haskell is the author of “LIONS and TIGERS and TEENS: Expert advice and support for the conscientious parent just like you” (Unlimited Publishing, LLC). Her work has appeared in publications across the U.S. as well as internationally. Learn more at www.myrnahaskell.com.

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ne of the best things you can do for your kids after a divorce is to sit down with them and explain what will happen in the future. That means going over with them the detailed parenting plan that you have worked out with the other parent.

Unfortunately, too many divorcing parents don’t spend the time making a plan because they’re too busy doing battle over other issues. So, rule number one is: If you do not have a parenting plan in place – get one!

When I divorced, my attorney wrote into the divorce decree that visitation would be “reasonable and negotiable.”

I crack up when I think about that now because neither my ex nor I had a good idea about what that meant exactly. So, we made up the rules as we went along and it proved to be a negative for the kids.

“Reasonable and negotiable” is an RYHUVLPSOL¿HG DQG XQUHDOLVWLF ZD\ WR outline a co-parenting strategy. Some of the important details that should be in your plan are: Who will have primary custody of the children

How parents will make decisions regarding education, religion, and medical issues How each parent will share time with the children (weekly, monthly, summer, holidays) How parents will resolve disagreements regarding the plan Now, keep in mind that a parenting plan is merely a guideline for parents, but the plan should assume a certain DPRXQW RI ÀH[LELOLW\ VR WKH\ GR QRW KDYH to feel unduly restricted by the plan.

If, for some reason, parents get into an argument over parental responsibilities, the parenting plan ensures that each parent has the right to a certain amount of time with the children, so neither parent can withhold that time simply because he or she is angry at the other parent.

When disagreements about the plan become insurmountable, parents should seek out the help of a mediator so that they can adjust the parenting plan to meet the needs of parents and children. continued on page 35 -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

RAISING DIGITAL KIDS — by Mike Daugherty

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he Holidays are over. The gifts that were so shiny and new are beginning to lose some of their appeal. The cold, snowy January days quickly lead to the dreaded question, “What can we do?” As a parent of three, I can tell you this is our least favorite question. It can be tempting to toss them a tablet and let them watch videos for a while so that you can have some peace and quiet. No judgment. We’ve all done it. The sites I’ve listed below provide engaging activities for children that use the digital world to alleviate that real-world boredom by blending the two. Parents can join in the fun with these sites, too!

pause the video while they draw or rewatch a section if they don’t understand the instructions.

Rob does a phenomenal job of emphasizing that every artist is different.

It is perfectly okay if your drawing at home doesn’t look exactly like his. The artwork is colored and shaded when it is complete. The result is almost always something your child will be proud of.

The most challenging part is choosing what to draw from the thousands of options available. <RX FDQ ¿QG WKH FKDQQHO E\ VHDUFKing for Art For Kids Hub on YouTube.

If you’re not a fan of YouTube, check out ArtForKidsHub.tv. It is a paid site ($5.99 a month) run by the same family that allows you to access all the Art For Kids Hub videos in a friendly, ad-free environment.

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,]_ 3`M QZ] 6TO^ Art Hub for Kids is a family-friendly YouTube channel that teaches children how to draw in a fun way. Each video includes the leading artist, Rob, and one of his four children drawing alongside him. On-screen, he’ll draw a line or shape, and then his co-artist will draw the same thing. The camera shows both drawings side by side so the viewers can see exactly what to do. Kids can :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

The site even includes an area where kids can submit the things they’ve made to be featured online or ask questions to the Highlights’ staff like “I’m really messy. How can I get more organized?.”

The one downside to the digital site is the Hidden Pictures. The popularity of the activity caused Highlights to create a separate subscription-based website dedicated to Hidden Pictures. Parents can sign up for a free trial that will be billed monthly until cancelled. Overall, the site provides a load of fun, free activities for kids when boredom sets in. <RX FDQ ¿QG +LJKOLJKWV .LGV DW +LJKlightsKids.com.

Highlights magazine was a staple of my childhood growing up. The “Hidden Pictures” feature was easily my favorite part. The sixty-year-old publication continues to entertain another generation of children through their website. The digital version of Highlights Kids has lots of great content for kids ages six to twelve.

The site includes jokes, online games, and puzzles. The activities section contains forty different crafts and recipes that can be done without much adult supervision, for the most part.

Capital letter “ADULTS” signal kids when they’ll need a parent’s help.

1`YM]LTY Some readers may be familiar with the digital treasure trove of educational games, videos, and books that is Funbrain. Funbrain features content for kids in preschool through eighth grade. Some games help kids practice fundamental skills in language arts and math such as Word Derby and Math Basketball. The “skill and drill” model is not ideal for teaching new concepts, but it can be a useful practice tool. The content is leveled, which means your fourth grader will not see problems designed for a kindergarten student.

My favorite part of the site is the reading section. Funbrain offers digital copies of books for students to read. A quick search revealed books from popular series such as “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” and “Judy Moody.” The books are published online in their entirety. Free books online is an excellent way for kids to dip their toe in the water to see if they’d like a book series before going to the library.

Funbrain is free; however, it is supported by advertisements. The advertisements appear to be family-friendly, but they can become cumbersome at times. Head over to FunBrain. com to learn more.

.S]ZXP 8`^TN 7LM Google’s Chrome Music Lab is an excellent resource for children who love making music, singing songs, or both. The site provides a grid that you click on to add notes. The higher you place the note of the grid, the higher the sound made will be. The options along the bottom allow the musician to choose the style of the sounds. Kids can select from a grand piano, strings, woodwinds, and more. The tempo can be adjusted as well, giving you an upbeat, bouncy tune or a slower, melodramatic symphony.

Children can even record lyrics using the built-in microphone on their tablet or by plugging a microphone into your home computer.

While this fun, free activity won’t turn your little one into the next Beethoven, it is an excellent opportunity to engage WKHLU EUDLQ FHOOV RQ D GUHDU\ ZLQWHU DIWHUQRRQ <RX FDQ ¿QG WKLV in the Chrome experiments section of Google’s site by searching “Chrome Music Lab” from your favorite search engine.

Remember to join in with your kids on these activities, too!

For example, Art Hub for Kids is fun for kids AND adults. So is the Chrome Music Lab. Technology shouldn’t be your family’s answer to boredom. However, It can be used to grow your child’s love of reading, art, music, and more by giving them opportunities to practice their skills in new and unique ways.

Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google Innovator, and possible Starbucks adGLFW +H LV D FHUWL¿HG HGXFDWLRQDO WHFKQRORJ\ OHDGHU ZKR KDV served in a variety of roles through his eighteen-year career in public education. Currently, Mike is the Director of Technology for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School district in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning.

SINGLE PARENTING continued...

In fact, I suggest that divorced parents revisit their parenting plan every two years, simply because children’s needs will change as they mature.

It is never too late to put together a written parenting plan, so even if you’ve been divorced for some time, get a parenting plan in place for the sake of your children and your sanity. It is also D JRRG LGHD WR ¿OH LW IRUPDOO\ ZLWK WKH FRXUW VR WKDW LW LV OHJDOO\ enforceable. A mediator can help you put the plan together and can point you in the right direction to have it legalized.

Once the plan is in place, you need to communicate it to the children. Keep in mind that kids, no matter what age, will make assumptions about their post-divorce lives based on what they have heard from friends and other sources. The best information will come from you, so don’t leave your child to her own frightening assumptions. A clearly communicated parenting plan will go a long way to ease many of the unfounded fears kids have about life after divorce. As soon as you have a parenting plan agreement, follow these steps: 1) Sit down together, if possible. Many former couples claim they cannot be in the same room together, but it’s only for an hour or so, and when kids are present, most couples tend to be on their best behavior. If you absolutely cannot fathom the idea, then compose a personal letter addressed to your kids that both of you can sign. That way, they’ll have something that tells them you are in agreement. Be sure to make your talk or letter age-appropriate for the kids.

2) Be positive and supportive. Divorce is painful, so no one expects you to be cheery about the outcome, but let your kids know that this is not THEIR divorce and that you support their right to have a relationship with the other parent.

3) Share the details of the plan. It’s important that your kids understand the agreement is in writing. Tell them what the details of the plan are, but also explain that there will be room IRU ÀH[LELOLW\ DQG WKDW WKH ZULWWHQ DJUHHPHQW LV WKHUH LQ FDVH their parents have trouble communicating in the future. This gives kids the assurance that they won’t have to bear the burden RI GHFLGLQJ ZKDW WR GR ZKHQ WKHLU SDUHQWV DUH ¿JKWLQJ 4) Support the plan. Even if you fought like cats and dogs to come up with the plan, don’t go backwards. Kids will play parents against each other if they feel either parent is not supportive of the plan. This only serves to put them in the control seat instead of the parents.

5) Follow the plan. The worst thing you can do is not follow through with what you said they could expect. Flexibility is important, but so is consistency. If something simply doesn’t work, you can always modify.

Diane C. Dierks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. She is also author of “The Co-Parent Toolbox” (2014 Aha! Publishing) and “Solo Parenting: Raising Strong & Happy Families” (1997 Fairview Press). For more information visit her website is www.dianedierks.com.

-DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

Daughter

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by Patrick and J.L. Hempfing

Ways to Handle Stress

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arents deal with stress in a variety of ways.

Tennis is my stress outlet, along with eating ice cream and donuts. Obviously, playing tennis is a much healthier choice than comfort foods.

Recently, my daughter Jessie came KRPH H[FLWHG WR VKDUH D QHZ VWUHVV ¿JKWing activity she had heard about — goat yoga. My comfort zone has boundaries, and Jessie keeps trying to expand them.

Daily. Before I go further, let’s turn it over to Jessie for her thoughts.

-HVVLH $JH When my friend at school told me about goat yoga, it sounded like a ton RI IXQ %DVLFDOO\ \RX JR LQWR D ¿HOG DQG do yoga while a bunch of goats walk around and crawl on you. I came home from school and told my dad about it.

To me, doing yoga with goats crawling on you sounded great, but not to Daddy.

He’s not an animal person.

I told Mom about it later, and she loves the idea. She and I are a lot alike in our love for animals. When we are going for a family walk, we will walk around and pet all the dogs we pass where Dad would rather avoid them. He’s not mean to dogs, and he loves our dog, Sadie, but dogs just aren’t his thing.

I think Dad should be a little more open-minded when it comes to goat yoga and dogs. It is good that we have each other. I get him out of his comfort zone, and he gets me out of mine. It is good to :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

try things, because you never know what you may enjoy. Let’s hear my father’s view.

This father’s view is quite simple.

I have no intention of ever having my view obstructed by goat legs, tails, or any other goat anatomical parts. Having goats bleating and crawling on and around me while I do yoga doesn’t interest me in the least.

However, Jessie raised a good point about the importance of keeping an open mind. Not knowing a single thing about goat yoga, I Googled it. I was surprised to read about the mental and physical EHQH¿WV RI JRDW \RJD 7KRVH ZKR GR LW say it’s a great way of disconnecting from stress. Did I close my mind too soon?

Our lives are shaped by our personal experiences. My only experience with a goat came many years ago, when my wife, Mattie, and I were dating. Her parents were away and it was our responsibility to milk the family goat. We should have asked for directions because how to milk a goat is not as obvious as it seems.

There’s a technique to getting the milk to squirt out instead of just squishing DURXQG ZKLFK WKH JRDW ¿QGV KLJKO\ LUritating. It’s safe to say that Mattie’s goat was not a therapy goat, which is probably why I no longer wish to be up close and personal with goats.

In response to Jessie’s comment “dogs just aren’t his thing,” I feel I must VKDUH P\ ¿UVW WHHQDJH MRE ² D QHZVSDper carrier. Dogs have a special animos-

ity for newspaper carriers. Luckily, I made it through several years of home newspaper delivery while avoiding the angry guardians of their owners’ property, except for one. I have a tiny scar on my left leg to show for my dedicated service.

With my hard-to-milk goat and dogchasing-after-me experiences, it’s safe to say I’m not as comfortable around goats and dogs as my wife and daughter. Also, when I take a walk, I like to get my circulation pumping instead of stopping every three seconds to pet a dog, no matter how cute it is (Mattie and Jessie think all dogs are cute).

:KLFK OHDGV PH WR -HVVLH¶V ¿QDO point, “It is good that we have each other.” On this point I couldn’t agree more.

Jessie and I have helped each other expand our comfort zones. Our family is also blessed in that Mattie and I have GLIIHUHQW LQWHUHVWV WKDW EHQH¿W -HVVLH , can already see the smiles on Jessie’s and Mattie’s faces when they go work out with the goats. I’ll have a smile on my face, too, as a nearby spectator enjoying my cone of ice cream.

But whether I’m cheering on my goat-yoga exercisers or relaxing with a three-scoop cone of ice cream, one thing is certain ’tween daughter and dad, I love my girl and my girl loves me.

Until next month, remember to cherish the moments. Happy New Year!

Good luck in achieving your New Year’s resolutions. Doing goat yoga won’t be on my list, but I will try to monitor the ice cream intake. All parents need ways to handle stress.

3DWULFN +HPS¿QJ KDG D \HDU SURIHVsional career in banking, accounting, and auditing before he became a father at age 44. He is now a full-time husband, stay-at-home dad, and writer. Follow Patrick at KWWS SDWULFNKHPS¿QJ FRP. - / +HPS¿QJ QRZ EHJDQ ZULWLQJ with her dad in kindergarten. Her current hobbies include playing clarinet, saxophone, and piano. She also enjoys marching in her high school band. If you enjoyed this column, you’ll like Patrick’s ¿UVW ERRN ³0R0(1WV $ 'DG +ROGV On.” The book compiles favorite stories and new material and is available for sale on Amazon.

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ajor Roy McBride (Brad Pitt) has been working for United States Space Command his whole adult life, to the exclusion of all else.

Following a massive power surge originating from Neptune which threatens life on Earth, he is ordered on a secret mission.

Space Command believes that the surge is coming from a former project of their own, titled Project Lima, and led by Roy’s late father, Clifford McBride. Roy is sent to Mars to send a secure communication to determine who may be responsible for these devastating events.

Ad Astra leans comfortably on the tradiWLRQV RI VFLHQFH ¿FWLRQ ¿OP DQG EHQH¿WV IURP it. That’s not to say that the movie is unoriginal or clichéd, far from it. It is just familiar enough to be accessible, but unique and brilliant in new ways which prevent it from feeling tired or played out. If it had simply rehashed a movie like 2001: A Space Odyssey, it would be far less successful. Instead, it PDNHV UHIHUHQFHV WR WKDW ¿OP DQG XVHV WKHP as a jumping-off point to tell a new and compelling story.

There is so much to love here. The cinematography is reminiscent of Kubrick, with its proclivity for colorful and textural imagery juxtaposed with stillness and silence. Long careful shooting yields beautiful UHVXOWV PDNLQJ WKLV D ¿OP \RX FRXOG HQMR\ even with the sound off. That said, I’d recommend leaving it on. The score is haunting and beautiful, cutting ephemerally through the silence of space. I will admit, the pacing is a little slow, but it is remarkably consisWHQW ZKLFK JLYHV LW D VOLJKWO\ ÀRDW\ IHHO , think that works well for a story set mostly in zero-gravity.

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is personal, wasting little time with plodding exposition and leaving it to the camera to show you all the background information you need to understand the plot.

The dialogue is instead used to develop characters and advance the emoWLRQDO FRUH RI WKH ¿OP ² which is where Brad Pitt comes in. As the ¿OP JRHV RQ KH EHFRPHV PRUH DQG PRUH emotive, and the contrast between beginning and end is incredible.

Parents trying to decide if they want to take their teens to Ad Astra will want to be DZDUH RI WKH ¿OP¶V YLROHQW FRQWHQW :KLOH there aren’t many individual incidents, the ones which do occur are quite graphic. People are shown with detailed injuries, and I wouldn’t recommend bringing a squeamish SHUVRQ WR WKLV ¿OP ² XQOHVV WKH\ KDYH D SHUverse interest in seeing what explosive decompression looks like on a big screen. Otherwise, there is remarkably little profanity, and no sexual content or drug/alcohol use. $V ERWK D VFL ¿ QHUG DQG D PRYLH FULWic, this has been one of my favorite movies of the year. If you want a better idea of how this story feels, think Apocalypse Now meets 2001: A Space Odyssey. It’s a potent combination, and it works brilliantly. It forgoes Kubrick’s typical emotional sterility and uses the additional humanity to create a story both much darker and far richer. Honestly, you can’t go wrong seeing this. I can’t think of a better way to spend two hours in the dark.

4!,+ !"/54 4(% -/6)% 7)4( 9/52 &!-),9x Clifford McBride deliberately sacri¿FHG KLV IDPLO\ WR SXUVXH KLV FDUHHU DQG VSHFL¿FDOO\ WKH /LPD 3URMHFW +RZ ZRXOG \RX feel if you were in Roy’s position? Do you think Clifford’s explanation was adequate?

What consequences has that decision had on Roy’s personal and professional life?

Project Lima was engaged in the search for extra-terrestrial life. There are hundreds of billions of planets in the Milky Way Galaxy, and the odds of life existing outside of Earth might be higher than you think. How do you think the people of Earth would react to the existence of life on other worlds? What would you expect those aliens to look like?

7!4#( !4 (/-%x As always, 2001: A Space Odyssey is P\ JR WR UHFRPPHQGDWLRQ IRU VFLHQFH ¿Ftion. Cold, dangerous, and with colossal scale, 2001 LV D PXVW VHH IRU VFL ¿ IDQV Interstellar, directed by Chris Nolan, features a group of people forced to participate in a highly dangerous space mission in order to prevent catastrophes on Earth.

The Martian, starring Matt Damon and directed by Ridley Scott, follows abandoned astronaut Mark Watney as he struggles to survive on Mars until a rescue can be organized.

1997’s Contact HQJDJHV ZLWK WKH GLI¿cult question of how humanity would react to making contact with extraterrestrial life.

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DEAR TEACHER – by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts

Helping all parents make their FKLOGUHQ·V HGXFDWLRQDO H[SHULHQFH as successful as possible

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uestion: My daughter is in sixth grade. She is a good reader and understands what she reads. The problem is she is a very slow reader, and I wonder how she is going to do on all the standardized tests that she will be required to take. What can be done to increase her reading speed? — Slow Reader Answer: The best readers are not always the fastest nor the slowest readers.

They are the ones who recognize most words, read most material at a gradelevel rate and, most importantly, understand what they have read. Nevertheless, you are right that on standardized tests an extremely slow reader is going to have problems.

First of all, what is your child’s reading rate that you believe is too slow? At the start of the school year, the child should have been reading about 160 words per minute, and she should improve to about 170 words at the end of the year. If she deviates greatly from these speeds, she needs to improve her rate. This can be done by removing bad reading habits, if her comprehension and word recognition skills are up to grade level.

• Finger pointing: 8VLQJ KHU ¿QJHU WR NHHS KHU SODFH GH¿QLWHO\ ZLOO VORZ KHU reading rate down. Have her replace her ¿QJHU ZLWK D [ FDUG WR NHHS KHU SODFH • Head moving: Put her reading PDWHULDO RQ D ÀDW VXUIDFH LQ IURQW RI KHU and have her place her elbows on the surface and hold her head with her hands.

• Word-by-word reading: She will need to make an effort to read phrases instead of individual words. Try having her UHDG SDVVDJHV ZLWK D ÀXHQW UHDGHU $OVR PDNH ÀDVKFDUGV ZLWK FRPPRQ SKUDVHV and see how fast she can read them.

• Moving from line to line: Triple space a typed paragraph then draw a line from the end of a line to the beginning of the next.

• Backtracking: As soon as a line is read, she should cover it with a 3x5 card cut on an angle, so it covers the beginning of the line as she reads the end.

3DUHQWV· 5ROH LQ WK *UDGHUV +RPHZRUN Question: How much should ZH PRQLWRU RXU ¿IWK JUDGH GDXJKWHU¶V homework? — Busy Parent

You will need to observe your daughter while she is reading to see if she has any of the bad habits listed below that could lower her rate. If some are the problem, solutions are given for handling them and thus improving her reading rate.

Answer: Remember just whose homework it is anyway! The earlier a child learns to not rely totally on parents, the faster the child will become a better student. As a parent, you never want WR IHHO WKDW \RX DUH JRLQJ WKURXJK ¿IWK grade for the second time! And parents who actually do the homework for their FKLOGUHQ KDYH GH¿QLWHO\ JRQH WRR IDU

• Reading aloud: Moving lips for each word. Put a pencil between her lips.

The pencil will fall out if she is reading orally while reading silently.

While parents may feel that being very involved in their children’s homework is the right thing to do, it really sends the message that the children are

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incapable of doing the work and that the main objective is perfection. It also denies children the opportunity to develop skills and gain understanding from the experience. And it certainly doesn’t teach them how to be responsible or to persevere with a task. In fact, one RI WKH JUHDW EHQH¿WV RI FKLOGUHQ GRLQJ their homework by themselves is that it teaches them that they can struggle, try several different approaches, and sucFHHG 7KLV UHDOO\ JLYHV WKHP FRQ¿GHQFH in their own abilities that will carry over to other school tasks.

However, if your child wants you to correct her completed work, you may point out errors or, better yet, the types of errors she has made. It is important for her to discover and correct her own errors. Point out individual errors only when time is limited.

+LQWV RQ +DQGOLQJ 3HHU 3UHVVXUH Question: My kids are so different. Both are in elementary school. One can say “No” easily to friends. The other can’t and is a victim of peer pressure.

How can I help her say “No” when she should? — Pressured Answer: Strangely enough, peer pressure can be good and bad. It is good when the peer group inspires your child to do well in academics and extracurricular activities. And of course, it can be very bad when it entices your child to do drugs or participate in dangerous activities.

One way to help your child handle peer pressure besides talking about it is to roleplay likely scenarios that your child could face. Doing so really does help children learn how to suggest alternatives and to walk away from bad pressure. Another very positive way to handle peer pressure is to invite other children to your home where you can see LI DQRWKHU FKLOG KDV D QHJDWLYH LQÀXHQFH on your child.

Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher. com or to the Dear Teacher website.

PICK OF THE LITERATURE — by Dr. Donna Phillips

J

anuary is the time of year to reÀHFW RQ WKH SDVW DQG ORRN IRUward to the future. It is no different with books. So many adventures were had in 2019 and so many wonderful books were published during the year.

Some books fell neatly into my column plans for the year, but others were unexSHFWHG DOWKRXJK GH¿QLWHO\ LQWHUHVWLQJ In the end, many of the books had to be set aside, but now is our chance to take one more look at the ones that almost got away!

How Many? (Charlesbridge PubOLVKLQJ 1HZ <RUN , written and photographed by Christopher Danielson, certainly is a different kind of counting book!

Instead of telling you what or how to count, he encourages the reader to decide. And the more you look at a page, the more ways you ¿QG WR FRXQW 7KLV ERRN LV DOO DERXW thinking math and using math. As you turn the pages there are more options and more ways to think about counting and the purposes for doing so. The end RI WKH ERRN LQYLWHV WKH UHDGHU WR UHÀHFW on the act of counting and new ways to think about mathematics. This approach to “thinking” math is a wonderful way to start our young ones off on the right foot to be able to see math all around us.

Danielson’s helpful website www.talkingmathwithkids.com is just what parents need to help them begin to “think” math too!

Another book that is different from the others in their category is the Not D %XWWHUÀ\ $OSKDEHW %RRN (Charlesbridge Publishing, New York, 2019, $17.99), written by Jerry Pallotta and stunningly illustrated by Shennen Ber-

sani. We usually think of moths as brown and drab, but this book shows us how colorful and beautiful they can be. Organized by the alphabet, Pallotta share secrets and details of their lives, while Bersani captures the incredible intricacies of their markings. There are moths the look OLNH ÀRZHUV 2QHV WKDW ORRN OLNH ELUGV One even has markings that make it look like it has other insects on its wings. It is hard to believe that these moths can rival the beauty of the most delicate and gorJHRXV EXWWHUÀ\ 'RQ¶W OHW WKLV ERRN À\ away without taking a closer look at it!

If you are a history buff and fascinated by the back-story and intrigue of war, Spies, Lies and Disguise: The Daring Tricks and Deeds that Won World War II (Bloomsbury Children’s Books, New York, 2019, $21.99), written

by Jennifer Swanson and illustrated by Kevin O’Malley, is one that might have escaped notice. This book doesn’t cover the history of the war but reveals the covert and underground operations and how it was the job of military strategists, leaders, and experts to outthink and outmaneuver the enemy. The unsung heroes of these outrageous operations will captivate and capture your attention and imagination.

National Geographic has done it DJDLQ ZLWK WKLV H[FHSWLRQDOO\ PDJQL¿cent book Encyclopedia of American Indian History and Culture (National Geographic Partners, Washington, 2019, $24.99) by Cynthia O’Brien and graced by stunning photographs, and im-

ages of artwork and artifacts.

Organized by geographic regions and alp h a b e t i c a l l y, we learn in great details about the stories, time lines, histories, food, dress, artwork, rituals, and more fascinating details of indigenous peoples. Done with reverence and respect for the lives and locations of often unknown or overlooked groups, this is a book that will immerse you in the cultures, nature, history, and resilience of the “keepers of the earth.”

Maybe (Compendium ,QF 6HDWWOH , written by Kobi Yamada and dreamily illustrated

by Gabriella Barouch, just may be the most marvelous and magical of all the books that almost got away. The ideas conveyed by the delicate choice of words and detailed illustrations leave the reader with the belief that they too are magical. It simply makes us realize that we are here for a purpose in a time and place that will never be again. This book, that suspends us between the past and the future, makes us realize that now is our time and space for realizing who we are and what we are here to accomplish. It gives hope and purpose to all regardless of age, station, condition, or place. This uplifting and positive book is perfect for inviting us to let go of the past year and look to the coming year with hope and purpose.

Look to your past… Reach for the future… Stay grounded in the present.

Hoping you have a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Dr. Donna Phillips is an associate professor in the College of Education at Niagara University where her specialty is literacy and children’s literature. She lives on Grand Island, NY and is the mother of two adult children and the grandmother of one.

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8 Great Apps For Kids With Special Needs ² E\ 7DQQL +DDV 3K '

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ids with special needs are diverse like any other kids, and there are many educational apps that can help them with their special needs. Here are 8 of the best ones, and they’re all free. So if you’re a parent or caregiver of kids with special needs, have them check them out, and download the ones that are the most useful and fun.

ChatterPix Kids (Available at Apple Appstore; Google Play) This app is great for kids who need help practicing their oral communication skills. They can either upload or take a picture of themselves, draw a mouth, and then record anything they want to say.

It’s particularly useful if you’re having a GLI¿FXOW FRQYHUVDWLRQ DW KRPH DQG \RXU NLGV ¿QG LW HDVLHU WR H[SUHVV WKHLU YLHZV through an avatar rather than directly to you. It can also be useful in school if your kids require extra time composing an answer to a teacher’s question. They can record and re-record their response until they get it just the way they want it.

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Coach.me (Available at Apple Appstore; Google Play) Drawing on the latest psychological and behavioral research, this is a great app which assumes that a key to achieving one’s goals is to develop good, consistent habits. Users decide which habits they’d like to develop, track those habits over time, receive reminders, and then get positive feedEDFN KLJK ¿YHV ZKHQ WKH\ UHDFK WKHLU goals. Depending on their age and maturity, your kids can either use this app on their own or with a little help from you.

Emotionary (Available at Apple Appstore; Google Play)

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If you want to help your kids better understand other people’s emotions, the best thing you can do is help them better understand their own. This app has more than 100 short, dictionaryVW\OH GH¿QLWLRQV RI FRPPRQ HPRWLRQV each accompanied by a emoticon. This helps kids develop a rich vocabulary for expressing their emotions, and it teaches them coping skills so that they don’t become overwhelmed by their emotions. They can create their own emoticons for emotions they think aren’t included in the app but are really important to them.

iOT Session (Available: Apple Appstore) Created by a well-known occupational therapist, Dr. Frederick Covington, this app features lots of kidfriendly, game-like exercises aimed at

improving their visual perception, tracking, and coordination. ,W DOVR LPSURYHV ¿QH PRWRU VNLOOV HVSHFLDOO\ NLGV¶ DELOLW\ WR create proper letters. The app is used by occupational therapists everywhere, but your kids can use it too, either on their own or with your help, to track their progress over time.

MindShift CBT (Available at: Apple Appstore; Google Play) Based on cognitive behavioral therapy, which is widely used, this app teaches kids how to deal with different anxiety-provoking situations like conÀLFWV VRFLDO VLWXDWLRQV DQG WHVWV ,W IHDWXUHV WRROV WKDW KHOS users relax, practice mindfulness, and re-orient their thoughts.

It has audio recordings with guided meditations, a journal for users to record thoughts that make them the most anxious, and general tips for managing anxiety.

Model Me Going Places 2 (Available at: Apple Appstore) This social skills app teaches kids how to interact with different kinds of people that they encounter in their daily lives, such as grocery store clerks, hairdressers, doctors, and restaurant waiters. It has 12-photo slideshows that model kids engaging in appropriate behaviors with people in different settings.

My Little Suitcase (Available at: Apple Appstore) This game-like app, which can be played by up to four people, enhances kids’ ability to memorize and match items. Similar to the popular card game Memory, each player has a suitcase with six different items represented on a small card that is faced down. Players take turns turning the cards over. If the card is theirs, they put it in their suitcase. If not, it’s the next player’s turn. Aside from improving their working memory and retention skills, they learn how to focus, categorize, and engage in proper turn-taking.

It’s a great game for the whole family.

Unstuck (Available at: Apple Appstore; Google Play) This award-winning app helps users identify useful strategies when they’re stuck while trying to reach D VSHFL¿F JRDO .LGV DUH DVNHG WR H[SODLQ LQ ZKDW ZD\ WKH\¶UH stuck, how they feel about it, and how strong those feelings are. It also tells them what percentage of other users and faPRXV KLVWRULFDO ¿JXUHV KDYH IDFHG VLPLODU LVVXHV 7KH DSS then generates possible solutions to the problem. Its biggest educational value, however, is letting kids put words to their feelings and showing them that they’re not alone in feeling the way they do.

COMING IN OUR APRIL 2020 ISSUE: - 15TH ANNUAL-

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uicide rates in general have increased in the U.S. across all ages and ethnic groups, rising roughly 30% from 1999 to 2016.

In 2017, suicide was the second-leading cause of death among those ages 10 to 24, behind unintentional injuries, such as car crashes or drug overdoses.

A New York law now mandates that all public schools include mental health

education as a fundamental part of their school curriculum. New York’s bill went into effect on July 1, 2018, making it the second state (following Virginia) to require mental health education alongside physical health education. Many mental health experts think that this legislative reform marks an important moment for behavioral health awareness and prevention.

Mental and behavioral health conditions are prominent and often begin in childhood. In the United States, 13 percent of adolescents have experienced a major depressive episode in the past year, and nearly one in three has experienced some type of anxiety disorder in their lifetime. Researchers have estimated that 50 percent of mental illness begins by age 14, and 75 percent begins by age 24.

Unfortunately, research also shows that many children and adolescents with PHQWDO KHDOWK GLI¿FXOWLHV GR QRW UHFHLYH treatment. Architects of the New York law hope it will ensure young people learn about mental health to “increase the likelihood that they will be able to more effectively recognize signs” and seek treatment earlier. Ultimately, this new policy could help halt development of these conditions and reduce the number of youth who are affected as adults later in life.

This law represents an important way that systems — such as the school and health care systems — can collaborate to produce effective policy changes.

Together, the New York State Education Department and mental health advisory committees laid out key principles that guide schools on how to integrate this new curricula. The law gives latitude to individual districts, schools and classrooms to decide how to design curricula and lesson plans within certain parameters to meet the needs of their student population. Previously, the education guidelines included information on: alcohol, drug and tobacco abuse; and pre-

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vention and detection of certain cancers. With the implementation of this new law, educators and administrators added to their curriculum signs of mental health problems and appropriate resources to access help in the time of crisis, as well as materials to address the negative stigma associated with mental illness.

Mental health education in schools also has the potential IRU QXPHURXV RWKHU EHQH¿WV WR \RXWK )RU LQVWDQFH RSHQ FRQversations can help to reduce the stigma and negative attitudes toward mental illness that can prevent those who are suffering from reaching out for help. Further, in addition to supporting students’ health, this type of curriculum could have a positive impact on their academic achievement. Over 50 percent of students with behavioral disorders drop out of high school and of those who do remain in school, only 42 percent graduate. Additionally, more than 80 percent of students struggling with emotional or behavioral disorders scored below the general population in reading, writing and math.

The summary of the bill (A3887B) that eventually became New York State law states, “Mental health is as important to health and wellbeing as physical health. The World Health Organization considers health to be ‘a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disHDVH RU LQ¿UPLW\ ¶ 0HQWDO KHDOWK LV DQ LQWHJUDO SDUW RI RXU RYHUDOO health and should be an integral part of health education in New York schools. By ensuring that young people learn about mental health, we increase the likelihood that they will be able to more effectively recognize signs in themselves and others, including family members, and get the right help. Further, as we begin to teach the facts about mental health and openly discuss the issues from a health perspective, we will begin to remove the stigma surrounding mental illness — a stigma that causes ostracism and isolation, leads to bullying and keeps many students from getting the help they need.”

'ENTLE AND #ARING $ENTISTRY FOR #HILDREN 9OUTH !GES

Pediatric Dentistry 160 Elmwood Ave. • Buffalo, NY

716-436-2130

1660 Hopkins Rd. • Getzville, NY !CCEPTING &IDELIS (EALTHPLEX

716-688-7721

!00/).4-%.43 !6!),!",% 7)4(). (/523

WWW JUST MEPEDIATRICDENTISTRY COM

Purely Pediatrics

Monthly membership model of outpatient pediatric medical care – No copays or deductibles required ~ Newborn home visits ~

Dr. Susan Wiepert 110 C North Seventh St., Lewiston, NY 14092 716-205-3282

www.purelypediatrics.com

— Sources: Mental Health Association of New York State, New York State Assembly Bill A3887B, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Policy Lab.

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ver the years, many people have asked us how we cope with food allergies.

“What do you eat if you can’t have…?”

LV XVXDOO\ WKH ¿UVW TXHVWLRQ 7KH DQVZHU varies based on the number and severity of allergies.

Our toddler (who turns 26 years old this January!) was allergic to multiple foods: milk, egg, soy, wheat, peanut, tree nut, corn, and a few fruits. That made birthday parties especially challenging, until we learned to stop trying to do it like everyone else (cake was especially challenging) and instead focused on making the food fun.

What follows are two adorable recipes that are very kid-friendly, without a cake in sight. Frozen dipped bananas are a hit no matter the age. The fruit kabobs are fun to do as an edible activity, letting guests put together their own creations.

A few tips: The bananas for these recipes should be ripe but not overripe.

There are many allergy friendly chocolate chips, including white chocolate chips. Enjoy Life www. enjoylifefoods.com) and No Whey (www.nowheychocolate.com) are two of the better known brands.

Most brands of marshmallows contain gelatin, an animal byprodXFW <RX FDQ ¿QG YHJDQ DQG FRUQ free) marshmallows: www.dandiesmarshmallows.com. NOTE: this brand contains soy.

Craft sticks (also called Popsicle sticks) can be found at craft stores or online. :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, WHEAT, FISH, SHELLFISH, and GLUTEN, VEGAN*

2W^R^[PcT 3X__TS 1P]P]Pb Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, WHEAT, FISH, SHELLFISH, and GLUTEN, VEGAN Yield: 8 servings Prep Time: 15 minutes Cooking Time: 0 minutes Freezer Time: 2 1/2 hours

Yield: 8 servings Prep Time: 20 minutes Cooking Time: 0 minutes 4 bananas 8 large or 16 small strawberries 8 marshmallows* (read label for allergens) 16 watermelon pieces, grapes or other fruit Craft sticks

4 large or 8 small bananas 1 cup chocolate or vanilla chips (check the label for allergens) 1 tablespoon shortening (check the label for allergens) Sprinkles or crisp rice cereal (check the label for allergens)

Gather all ingredients, peeling bananas at the last minute. Cut bananas into 1” slices, cut larger berries in half. Skewer with craft stick, alternating banana, berry, watermelon, marshmallow (in the middle), then watermelon, berry, banana. Serve immediately. NOTE: if preferred, omit the marshmallows and use banana in the center.

Optional decorations Craft sticks Peel bananas. If large, cut in half. Insert craft sticks, place on wax paper lined pan. Put in freezer for 2 hours.

Place chocolate chips and shortening in microwave safe bowl. Microwave for 1 minute. Stir; if more time is needed to melt the chips, place back in microwave for 30 seconds. Do not overheat or they’ll clump.

Dip frozen bananas in chocolate, then roll in the sprinkles. Place back on the wax paper lined baking pan and freeze for another 30 minutes.

If you have any questions about our column, e-mail Kathy at allergy@ roadrunner.com. For further information about food allergies, contact FARE www.foodallergy.org, or call 1-800-9294040.

Kathy Lundquist is a Western New York parent whose son, now an adult, was born with severe food allergies. Over the last two decades she has worked tirelessly, in a variety of capacities to increase community awareness about food allergies.

THE KIDDIE GOURMET

H

— by Barbara Blackburn

ospitality is the plate were so good I could +B[[CPMJOF served along have shared more of them. .BJO 4USFFU with creative My chef crafted plate "NIFSTU /: cuisine at the Jazzboline was the Garden Vegetable

restaurant, site of the old KB[[CPMJOF DPN Gratin, with Vegetable LasaHoward Johnson, where I gna, Ricotta, Herb Pistou, and _ 4100/4 _ loved the clam strips and San Marzano Tomato Sauce coffee ice cream. Frank '00% ($18.00). Mostly zucchini and and Dolly Reikart were eggplant dominated the dish, vaudeville stars, and Frank which was a reasonable porinvented the jazzboline, an 4&37*$& tion without overdoing the instrument with an angular size. The ingredients harmobody that was played like a nized well, like good music. banjo. In contrast to bygone '".*-: From another category, days, there is the menu on a '3*&/%-: called appropriately “From screen, with the prices reThe Garden,” there are more quiring more searching. You healthy choices.

Another can, however, request one of salmon entree, Salmon and Grains, feathose more user-friendly paper menus. tures Smoked Salmon Flakes, Arugula, The Junior Jocko menu — named Leeks, Red Quinoa, Farro, Aged Feta, after the Reikart’s pet monkey Jocko — Roasted Artichoke, and Red Onion Caper offers creative entrees for those 12 and Vinaigrette ($l6.00). under, for $10.00, along with a choice A more pricey category called “Famof beverage and a serving of Frank and ily Gathering and Sharing” offers SeaDolly’s ice cream. These more mature food Broil ($55.00), Pork Trio ($46.00), items often not seen on a kids’ menu inand Dolly Had a Little Lamb ($51.00). clude Rotisserie Pulled Chicken Salad, The Brick Oven artisan Flatbreads rePulled Pork Sliders, Buttermilk Chicken VHPEOH SL]]DV %HLQJ D IDQ RI ¿JV , QRTenders, and Cheese Flatbread, along ticed the Countryside, with Brie, Apples, with Mac ‘n Cheese, and Cheeseburger )LJV 'XFN &RQ¿W $UXJXOD 3DUPHVDQ Sliders. and Balsamic Reduction ($15.00).

A dessert selection was our choice The Vegetarian Burger ($14.00) is for an appetizer: Roasted Mission Figs not one of fake meat but of black bean, ($9.00), with whiskey caramel honey, corn, quinoa, and mushrooms, served mascarpone and macerated berries. This with pepitas, lettuce, tomato, avocado, was our favorite dish; our others did not chipotle aioli, onion, and smoked Gouda, delight as much. While we ate, we noRQ D 3UHW]HO %XQ

<RX¶OO ¿QG WKLV ticed the children dining with families. under Handhelds.

Although there is seating for children, As I said, we began with dessert for a there are no fun pages or entertainment. starter. Not topping the Roasted Mission If the kids fool around with the menu Figs but still delicious is Pots De Creme screens, they will have to surrender them of dark chocolate, orange, and whipped during dinner because they are not alcream ($9.00). lowed. Because of the loudness of the room, noisy kids should not be a probVaudeville may have died out, but lem, while conversing together may be. creative talent lives on in this departure from traditional American cuisine. It’s )ULGD\ QLJKW KDV DOZD\V EHHQ D ¿QH jazzed up comfort food produced with a time to enjoy the fruits of the sea. In our gourmet touch. case it was salmon. Dad enjoyed his PanSeared Salmon, from the Chef Crafted Plates. This was sustainable Faroe Island Barbara Blackburn teaches culinary Salmon, Artichokes, Tomatoes, Onions, classes for Williamsville Community Wild Mushrooms, Lemon Butter, and Education. Check out the catalogue at Crispy Leeks ($27.00). The partners on http://williamsville.augusoft.net

DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP CONTRACT continued... but kids sleep less if electronic devices are left on, losing up to one hour of sleep a night.

Stress that privacy is earned.

Because you are ultimately responsible for your child’s behavior whether online or off, have access to all passwords, check their phones, and visit the apps/ social media networks they frequent regularly.

Pledge not to text and drive.

Finally, if your child is of driving age, include a pledge on your contract that states a promise that he will not text and drive. Consider watching the 30-minute documentary by Werner Herzog together called “From One Second to the Next” on YouTube.

Clearly state consequences.

Consequences could include loss of devices, screen time (except for required school work), and driving privileges.

Sign here. After your child signs the commitment, hang it up near your computer or on your refrigerator as a family reminder. Review and adjust as needed.

For more ideas about creating a family digital citizenship contract, visit Safekids.com. Additional online resources, include CommonSenseMedia. org and ConnectSafely.com.

Freelance writer Christa Melnyk Hines is the author of “Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.”

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If your family is planning a trip outside the country, chilGUHQ XQGHU H[FHSW IRU &DQDGD ZKHUH D ELUWK FHUWL¿FDWH ZLOO EH VXI¿FLHQW LI WUDYHOLQJ E\ ODQG ZLOO QHHG D SDVVSRUW DV ZLOO DGXOWV (YHQ EDELHV QHHG D SDVVSRUW 0DQ\ ORFDO 3RVW 2I¿FHV handle passport applications.

Always check regulations for each country. Remember international travel procedures can be strict and unforgiving at times, especially if you don’t have all the required documents in advance.

In most cases, if a passport is required it must be valid for at least six months after you are scheduled to leave the counWU\ 3HRSOH KDYH EHHQ GHQLHG JHWWLQJ RQ WKHLU ÀLJKW LI WKH SDVVport valid date was off by one day. Airlines and cruise lines are tasked by federal laws with making sure all documents are current for travelers.

It often takes several months to receive a passport so plan ahead. In an emergency situation it is possible to get an emergency or expedited passport. $ ZDUQLQJ WR DOO ZKHQ PDNLQJ D ÀLJKW RU FUXLVH UHVHUYDWLRQ The name on the ticket MUST exactly match the name on your passport or ID. There are no exceptions. No airline will allow D SDVVHQJHU WR À\ ZKHQ WKH QDPH RQ WKH SDVVSRUW RU RWKHU UHquired ID and the name on the ticket aren’t the same. Don’t use a nickname on the airline ticket when the name on the passport is the complete formal name.

The Department of Transportation’s 24-hour rule requires all airlines that operate in the United States to allow passengers to cancel purchased tickets within 24 hours after purchase without penalty or allow for a 24 hour hold, but not both. Flights that are booked less than seven days before departure are ineligible for a penalty free cancellation.

What happens if a name is incorrect? If it is within 24 hours and the ticket was purchased directly with the airline, call and cancel the ticket. You can then rebook without penalty. If it more than 24 hours since the purchase, it never hurts to ask but if that fails, you must pay the change fee and rebook at the curUHQW FRVW RI WKH ÀLJKW ,W ZLOO EH D FRVWO\ OHVVRQ EXW \RX ZRQ¶W miss your dream vacation.

It is also very important that cruise information is totally accurate. Many travelers use a travel agent for cruise travel. It can be helpful to have a professional involved in more complex travel. The agent will know which ships or cruise lines allow two-year-old children in the children’s program and which ones require an older minimum age. She will also know what travel documents are needed.

Travel Tip of the Month: For information on getting a SDVVSRUW FKHFN ZLWK \RXU SRVW RI¿FH RU YLVLW www.dhs.gov/ how-do-i/apply-us-passport. For information on the NEXUS program visit ttp.cbp.dhs.gov. For a New York State Enhanced Driver’s License visit dmv.ny.gov/driver-license or a local FRXQW\ FOHUN¶V RI¿FH Deborah Williams is a veteran travel writer who lives in Holland, NY. Her work appears in national and international publications and she is the recipient of the Society of American Travel Writers Lowell Thomas Gold Travel Writing Award.

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C A L E N D A R O F E V E N T S • J A N U A RY 2 0 2 0 • C A L E N D A R O F E V E N T S • J A N U A RY 2 0 2 0 activities located throughout the museum.

Fearless Family Play Days are $3 off admission for BlueCross BlueShield of WNY members with proof of membership.

Explore & More, 130 Main Street, Buffalo.

716-655-5131. www.exploreandmore.org

WEDNESDAY | JANUARY 1 Poinsettia and Railway Exhibit continues through January 5. It includes over 1,000 beautiful poinsettias and a Garden Railway display. 10am-4:30pm. Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens, 2655 South Park Ave., Buffalo. 716-827-1584. www. buffalogardens.com Classic Toys School Break continues through January 5. Take a trip through time with classic toys popular from different eras. Check out colorful patterns of tin kaleidoscopes and pretend to ring a friend on the Fisher-Price Chatter Phone. Set spinnable tops into motion and share a story with a sock monkey. Be sure to visit The Strong’s Toy Hall of Fame exhibit to view other classic toys inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame. Included with general museum admission. The Strong Museum, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester. 585-2632700. www.museumofplay.org

FRIDAY | JANUARY 3

Play Late Til’ 8! Join us as we extend the play for parents who work, kids who need a night of getting their energy out or families looking for an excuse to play together! No prior registration required; included with admission. Explore & More,

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130 Main St., Buffalo. 716-655-5131. www.exploreandmore.org Au-Some Aquarium Special evenings, 6pm-8pm, dedicated to providing a safe, supportive, sensory-friendly environment where families with autism can meet, learn, & have fun together. Families enjoy a touch tank, sea lion show, sensory and art activities, gluten-free snacks, and information resources from community partners. $10 per family; $5 individual.

All ages welcome! Call for registration.

Aquarium of Niagara, 701 Whirlpool St., Niagara Falls. 716-323-6435. www. aquariumofniagara.org

SATURDAY | JANUARY 4 Fearless Family Play Day offers a full day, 9am-5pm, of fun and engaging healthy

Stars in My Backyard This live program, 1:30pm, presents Buffalo’s winter night sky by giving a tour of the constellations, planets, and other celestial objects in a way geared toward families with children ages 4 and up.

Program repeated on January 11. Tickets: $8. Reservations highly recommended but not required. Reserved tickets in advance online or call 716-878-4911. Whitworth Ferguson Planetarium 1300 Elmwood Ave. Buckham Hall - Buffalo State College. www.fergusonplanetarium.net Perfect Little Planet - An Alien’s Tour of Our Solar System Imagine the ultimate space vacation. Discover our solar system through a different set of eyes — a family from another star system seeking the perfect vacation spot. 3pm; appropriate for ages 4 and above. Program repeated on January 11. Tickets: $8. Reservations highly recommended but not required.

Reserve tickets in advance online or call 716-878-4911. Whitworth Ferguson Planetarium 1300 Elmwood Ave. Buckham Hall - Buffalo State College. www. fergusonplanetarium.net

FRIDAY | JANUARY 10

Au-Some Evenings Once a month, these special Au-Some Evenings, 5pm-8pm, give children with autism spectrum disorder and sensory processing disorder, their friends, and family an opportunity to play and learn together in an understanding and supportive environment. Reserve your spot by emailing accessibility@

Look for more calendar events on our UPDATED website! www.wnyfamilymagazine.com exploreandmore.org. Explore & More, 130 Main St., Buffalo. 716-655-5131. www. exploreandmore.org Full Moon Owl Prowl :KRRR ÀLHV through the Western New York night sky on silent wings? Join us for an outdoor owl prowl, 7pm-8:30pm, followed by an indoor workshop of hands-on “owly” activities.

For ages 5 to adult. $8 per participant.

Advance registration required. Tifft Nature Preserve, 1200 Fuhrmann Blvd., Buffalo.

716-825-6397. www.tifft.org Build a Snowman at West Side Community Services. Do you want to build a snowman? Come down to WSCS to have fun without all the cold, 5:30pm-7:30pm.

This snowman craft is fun for people of all ages! FREE. West Side Community Services, 161 Vermont Street, Buffalo. 716884-6616. www.wscsbuffalo.org

SATURDAY | JANUARY 11

Believe in Unicorns Do you believe in unicorns? Snap a photo with the Unicorn Princess and Prince. Learn about Hercules, 7KH 6WURQJ¶V ZKLWHPDUJLQ XQLFRUQ¿VK ZLWK the museum’s biologist. Make a unicorn horn to wear, play unicorn ring toss, and more. Sat. Jan. 11 & Sun. Jan. 12. Included with general museum admission. The Strong Museum, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester.

585-263-2700. www.museumofplay.org

SUNDAY | JANUARY 12 Sensory-Friendly Sunday Enjoy The Strong (9am-12pm) before it opens to the public at an exclusive event designed for children with special sensory, developmental, or physical needs.

Explore the museum in a comfortable and accepting environment that features fewer guests, light and sound reduction, extra visual safety signage, and designated quiet areas that include sensory friendly toys. Delight in a visit to Dancing Wings %XWWHUÀ\ *DUGHQ EHIRUH QRRQ DQG VWRU\ readings with the Unicorn Princess at 10 and 11am. Space is limited to 250 guests.

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

Registration required. Tickets will not be sold at the door. Registrants may choose to stay after the museum opens at noon to the public. The Strong Museum, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester. 585-263-2700. www. museumofplay.org

FRIDAY | JANUARY 17 M&T Third Friday Free museum admission to The Museum and the Resource Center, 10am-5pm. Kids Activities at the museum (10am-11:30am & 3pm-4:30pm); Docent Tours of both buildings (1pm-

3pm); and Artifact Discovery (11am-3pm).

The Buffalo History Museum, 1 Museum Court, Buffalo. 716-873-9644. www. buffalohistory.org Open House at Albright-Knox Northland Come see this new venue which will serve as a programming space while the Gallery’s Elmwood Ave. campus is closed for construction.

5pm-7pm; Pay what you wish. Drop In Art Activity with artist Edra Soto on Saturday, January 18, 1-3pm; adorn bottles with cast clay seashells. Albright-Knox Northland, 612 Northland Ave., Buffalo. 716-882-8700.

SATURDAY | JANUARY 18 STEM Saturdays offer a full day of fun, 9am-5pm, and engaging STEM activities located throughout the museum. Come play your way through Science, Technology, Engineering & Math based activities that are so fun, kids don’t even know they’re learning!

Explore & More, 130 Main St., Buffalo.

716-655-5131. www. exploreandmore.org Snowshoes and Hot Cocoa Enjoy this FREE weekend program, Sat. & Sun., Jan. 18 & 19, by borrowing a pair of snowshoes for D WULS WKURXJK 'HODZDUH 3DUN DQG ¿QLVK the trek at the Martin House for some hot cocoa! 10am-1pm. Afterwards, participants have the option of taking a one-hour tour of the Martin House at a reduced cost of $10 per person. Darwin Martin House State Historic Site, 125 Jewett Pkwy., Buffalo.

716-549-1050. www.martinhouse.org Woods Walk: Tracks in the Snow Join a guided nature walk at 11am to look for tracks left by our resident animals. No registration required.

FREE. Reinstein Woods Nature Preserve, 93 Honorine Dr., Depew.

716-683-5959. www. dec.ny.gov

MONDAY | JANUARY 20 Wegmans Family Day Visit the Wegmans’ Family Garden and hands-on stations to participate in fun seasonal activities,

WINTER FUN at The Ice at Canalside offers a variety of fun activities this winter. Lace up your skates to take a spin on the canal!

Admission is FREE for ages 5 and under; $4 ages 6-12; and $6 ages 13 and up. Family (up to 4 skaters) season passes are also available.

Don’t have skates?

Rentals are $4 in sizes Youth 7 to Adult 14 ($5 during holidays and school breaks such as Jan. 1, Feb. 14, 18-24). Training Walkers ($2) and adorable Penguin Skate Aids ($6) are available for those who need a bit of support. Lockers can be rented for $1. Show your BlueCross BlueShield of WNY membership card for $1 off skate admission and $1 off skate rental.

Hours vary depending on weather (check https://buffalowaterfront.com/ for current conditions and times), but there is no skating on Mondays (except for Presidents’ Day and MLK Jr. Day) and Tuesdays.

Special weekday hours will be in effect during school breaks.

Don’t ice skate? You can still get on the ice! Ice Bikes of Buffalo™ (716-681-4643) combines the activity of riding a bike along with the ability to perform this feat while on the surface of the ice. The cost is $12 per half hour for a single rider.

Ice bumper car rentals are available at select times during open ice skating.

Bumper cars are $7 for 7 minutes and must be reserved in the Winter Pavilion. Solo operators must be age 6 or older; duo passengers are limited to ages 3-5 and must be accompanied by an operator age 18 or older.

Heated, transparent geodesic dome igloos are Canalside’s newest feature. Rental of an igloo for 90 minutes, with space for up to 8 individuals, is $149 and includes admission and skate rentals for up to 8 skaters.

7KH ¿UVW URXQG RI DOFRKROLF RU non-alcoholic beverages is included, as well as complimentary hot cocoa.

(Note that no outside food and drinks are permitted in the igloos.)

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C A L E N D A R O F E V E N T S • J A N U A RY 2 0 2 0 • C A L E N D A R O F E V E N T S • J A N U A RY 2 0 2 0

CONTINUED… 10am-4pm. Appropriate for children ages 4-12. Included with Gardens admission; kids 12 & under FREE. Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens, 2655 South Park Ave., Buffalo. 716-827-1584. www. buffalogardens.com Community Health Day Families are invited to enjoy FREE general museum admission, 10am-2pm, and explore together at Independent Health’s annual Community Health Day! Fun and interactive happenings with a focus on health and wellness throughout the museum, including a special challenge in our health science studio, “Explore YOU” presented by Independent Health. Buffalo Museum of Science, 1020 Humboldt Pkwy., Buffalo. 716-896-5200. www.sciencebuff.org Martin Luther King Jr. Day Join us at at the museum for this holiday, 10am-4pm, as we explore concepts of acceptance, tolerance, and diversity through fun and engaging activities related to Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Explore & More, 130 Main Street, Buffalo. 716-655-5131. www. exploreandmore.org Day of Compassion Commemorate the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with performances and activities focused on treating people with compassion, 11am4pm. The Strong Museum, 1 Manhattan Sq., Rochester. 585-263-2700. www. museumofplay.org

TUESDAY | JANUARY 21

Little Tykes Mini Nature Camp Enjoy a morning of fun and exploration in our early childhood classroom, 9:30am-11:30am.

Storytime, crafts, outdoor investigation and more help to foster the nature explorer in your child (Ages 3-5). A different theme each month. Kid-friendly snacks provided!

Pre-registration required. Non-Member: $7 per child with adult. Call 716-8256397 or visit www.TIFFT.org. Tifft Nature Preserve, 1200 Fuhrmann Blvd., Buffalo.

SATURDAY | JANUARY 25

Lumagination The interior of the Botanical Gardens will be illuminated to excite imaginations, stimulate the senses and entertain all ages with “Mysterious Minerals” - simulated salt caves, stalactites, wooden sculptures, balancing stones, geodes, and crystals! January 25, 26; 29-31; February 1, 5-9, 12-22, 26-29. 10am-4:30pm. Visit their website for a list of “specialty nights.”

Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens, 2655 South Park Ave., Buffalo. 716-8271584. www.buffalogardens.com Elephant and Piggie Delight in a weekend, Jan. 25 & 26, dedicated to Mo Willems’ iconic children’s books. Snap a photo with Elephant and Piggie and enjoy story readings of “We Are in a Book” and “Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus.” Act out scenes from “Let’s Go for a Drive!”

DQG FUHDWH \RXU RZQ .QXIÀH %XQQ\ WR WDNH home. Visit the Pigeon Play Area and stop the pigeon from causing trouble. Included with general museum admission. The Strong

Museum, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester.

585-263-2700. www.museumofplay.org Miss Nelson Is Missing 6SLWEDOOV À\LQJ across the room, paper airplanes sailing every which way, and uncontrollable children send the nice, gentle, longsuffering teacher, Miss Nelson, over the edge. But the students of Room 207 are in for a surprise when Miss Nelson is suddenly missing! Recommended for ages 6 & up. Performances: Jan. 25 & 26 (2pm), Feb 1 & 2 (2pm), Feb 8 & 9 (2pm), and a sensory-friendly perfomance on Feb. 9 at 10am. Audiences will enjoy a special Talk-Back and Photo Opportunity with the Cast after all performances. Tickets: $15, available online at www.theatreofyouth. org or by calling 716-884-4400, ext. 304.

Theatre of Youth, 203 Allen St., Buffalo.

716-884-4400.

National School Choice Week Chess Tournament Chess attracts the widest diversity of players of any sport, so allages (and all-skills) are invited to celebrate school choice in WNY at this annual chess tournament! 9:30am-5pm. Register online at www.register.EVCSchess.club by 12:01am Thursday, Jan. 23; pay your entry fee at the door! Boards, pieces and chess clocks will be provided. Just bring your chess-playin’ self! Sponsored by the EVCS 6FKRODVWLF &KHVV &OXE D 86&) DI¿OLDWH in WNY since 2017. Elmwood Village Charter School, 40 Days Park, Buffalo.

716-406-7001. http://event.evcschess.club

Our calendar lists events for children, parents, and families as a whole. Space limitations prevent our listing all details, so be sure to call ahead for information and any changes that may have occurred after our print deadline. If you would like your event to be considered for inclusion in the FEBRUARY CALENDAR, information must reach us no later than: JANUARY

WT 1PN G %Cƾ ǁ ƿ "TQRSHMF Y J ' ƷU Amusement Rides Animals Art Class & Programs Baby Friendly Bicycling Breastfeeding Camp Canalside Children’s Entertainment Children’s Theater Christmas College Preparation Concerts & Live Music Cooking Classes Crafts & Hobbies Dance

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Early Childhood Music Education & Learning Farms & Markets Festivals & Fairs Fitness Food & Drink For A Good Cause Free Event Gluten Free Grandparents Gymnastics Halloween Health & Wellness Hike History Home & Garden

15TH at NOON calendar@wnyfamilymagazine.com

6SDFH LV XQOLPLWHG LQ F\EHUVSDFH DQG \RX¶OO ¿QG lots more to do in these categories with the click of your mouse at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com Indoor Recreation Kids Eat Free Leisure & Recreation Library Program Living History Martial Arts Movie Museum Event Nature & Outdoors Outdoors Parents Plants & Gardens Playgroups Religion & Spirituality Run/Walk Science & Technology

Scouting Single Parenting Skiing Special Needs Sports Story Time Storytelling Support Groups Theater Performance This & That Tweens & Teens Vacation & Holiday Valentine’s Day Workshops Zoo

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W

e raise our kids to be polite and respectful in person so why wouldn’t we stress those same values in the online environment? A digital citizenship contract can help you spell out your expectations of appropriate online behavior and send a clear message about how seriously you take your child’s safety and online reputation.

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Involve your kids in the process of outlining the contract to start a family dialogue about issues that can come up.

Here’s a checklist of points to cover in your contract: Treat others with dignity and respect. In other words, treat people the same way you wish to be treated, just like in person. Unacceptable behavior includes: %

Posting/texting cruel remarks

%

Gossiping

%

Bullying

%

Using profanity

%

Impersonating others

Start 2020 with A Family Digital Citizenship Contract dress the situation together, whether they need to craft an apology or remove a comment or photo.

Think before your post. “TeenDJHUV DUH DOO DERXW LQVWDQW JUDWL¿FDWLRQ They aren’t necessarily thinking: ‘Well, if I do this how is this going to affect the other person? How’s this going to affect my life in the future?’ says Sarah Manriquez, a licensed clinical social worker.

Remind your kids to ask themselves questions like:

Don’t talk to strangers. Some free texting and gaming apps (ex., textPlus and Clash of Clans) permit members to connect with other members even if they aren’t “friends.” Emphasize that exchanging text messages with someone they don’t know is the same as talking with a stranger. Often kids don’t view texting and talking in the same light.

%

Would I want Mom or Dad to see this?

%

How would I feel about Grandma seeing this?

Guard personal information.

Avoid posting personal information in response from unknown individuals in a chat room or a public forum like:

%

Would I be embarrassed if everyone in school saw it?

Show empathy. Explain that when they forward or share photos/texts/video that are harmful to a peer, they inadvertently condone cyberbullying. Also, steer clear of mean-spirited chat rooms where anonymous members dish up snarky, cruel comments for entertainment.

Ask permission. Before logging LQWR VRPHRQH¶V SHUVRQDO GHYLFH DVN ¿UVW and then log back off the device when ¿QLVKHG 7HOO \RXU FKLOG WKDW EHIRUH downloading an app, he needs to discuss LW ZLWK \RX ¿UVW Personal accountability matters. Errors of judgment happen and kids are still learning. Immediately ad-

%

Email address (don’t use your email as a user name)

%

Home address

%

Social security number

%

School name

%

Birthday with year

%

Photos with geotags (switch off the camera’s location tag under privacy settings.)

Assume everything posted is public. Texts, images, and posts can be saved and shared. Mine the latest news, TV shows, and other media for examples that can lead to conversation and empathy-building opportunities. Kids are generally more open to discussing mistakes made by people outside of their immediate circle of friends.

Ignore attacks. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, one in three students has experienced cyberbullying. Tell your kids to let you or another trusted adult know if someone bullies them. Reacting or reWDOLDWLQJ JHQHUDOO\ DGGV IXHO WR WKH ¿UH If the bullying continues, your child can politely ask the person to stop; report the behavior to the content provider; and/or block the individual. Preserve the evidence and contact law enforcement if your child feels scared or threatened.

Check out Thatsnotcool.com, a site geared for kids featuring scenarios and text responses to help kids manage cyberbullying, dating violence and awkward peer situations like password requests and gossip.

Establish boundaries. Declare the car or areas of the house as nophone/no-device zones at certain times of the day. At the end of the day, power down and store electronic devices in a central location of your home.

Disconnecting periodically allows for more opportunities to connect as a family, engage in creative pursuits, get adequate sleep and complete homework and chores. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 72 percent of kids between the ages of 6 and 17 have electronic devices in their rooms. Blame the blue light or incoming message alerts, continued on page 47 -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

over the top lid rather than under the bottom lid. Eyeliner under your eyes can make your eyes look smaller and closer together. Instead, take a dark liner, start slightly at the center and draw a thin line outward above your lashes to just past the outside corner of your eye. Flick the line slightly upward when you gently smudge the liner with a cotton swab.

Add a coat of mascara and you are ready for date night.

Fashion Forward

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Sensual Home Spa for the Mom Who Wants Her Strut Back

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ama, if you can’t remember the last time you took a nice long bath, shaved \RXU OHJV ¿[HG XS \RXU KDLU RU FDUHG whether or not you smelled good, you might qualify for this sensual intervention.

important, especially if tweezing is all you plan to do with them. Pluck strays from underneath your brows after a nice hot shower. Take your time; get it right.

And then arch away.

Perhaps it is time to recover your strut. Get your groove back by following these simple strategies to create your own home spa experience. Once you are ready to look good, you’ll remember how great it feels, and be ready to strut your stuff again.

Here is a list of ways to create a simple home spa treatment that can help revive your strut from head to toe:

If you are not among the lipstick obsessed, that’s okay. There are many tinted lip balms on the market these days you can stock up on. If you are a lipstick person, consider lip stains that saturate your lips with color without leaving a greasy smudge on your coffee cup. But save a little money for a couple lip balms to seal in the color and protect your lips from chapping.

Hair Extraordinaire

Multiple Benefits

The right haircut can make you look thinner, younger, and sexier — and then you’ll feel better every time you look in the mirror. Color adds an air of drama.

A streak of blond or color, why not?

Highlights make hair look more summery. Dark hair is dramatic and mysterious. Take a fresh look at your hair. What would make you love it? More importantly, what style would look great on you? Ask your stylist for ideas.

Arch This

When I was younger, I thought that WKH ZKROH SHUIHFW H\HEURZ ¿[DWLRQ ZDV overblown. But now that I am older, I realize that nicely shaped eyebrows are :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

Kissy Face

Perhaps one of the easiest ways to feel better inside and out is to make sure that you are getting 100% of your vitamins and minerals by taking a daily multi-vitamin plus iron. If you are ironGH¿FLHQW \RX¶OO QRWLFH WKH GLIIHUHQFH Visit your local healthy foods store for the best selection according to your age and needs. If you need accountability, try using a day-of-the-week pill holder and set your phone alarm to remind you to pop a vitamin after dinner.

Bedroom Eyes

Over lunch one day, a mom buddy gave me the secret to alluring eyes. As we get older the eyeliner looks better

Make healthy food choices and stay active, if you want your kids to follow suit. In the meantime, you will look best E\ ZHDULQJ FORWKHV WKDW ¿W \RXU FXUUHQW ¿JXUH )ODWWHULQJ DQG DIIRUGDEOH FORWKLQJ DUH HDV\ WR ¿QG QR PDWWHU ZKDW NLQG RI shape you are in, thanks to an abundance of second-hand stores and consignment shops. And don’t forget end-of-season clearance sales. Keep your wardrobe stocked with everything from a dressyGUHVV WR JUHDW ¿WWLQJ MHDQV )URP VWUDSS\ sandals to attitude boots.

Rock Every Angle

As for how you look from all angles, you are going to feel a lot better about your curves if they are cradled in the appropriate undergarments. Purchase bras where you know you will get DQ LQIRUPHG ¿W 0DNH VXUH \RXU SDQWLHV are comfortable, breathable cotton. Steer clear of sophisticated marketing that would have you spend too much on impractical underwear you’ll never wear.

But if you see some lingerie that’s just your style, go for it.

Slough It Off

Create an exfoliating kit and use it at least once a month. Start with a Loofah brush and mitt. Add a scrub brush IRU \RXU ¿QJHUQDLOV DQG WRHQDLOV DQG D pumice stone for the bottoms of your feet. When you use these tools with an exfoliating scrub, you’ll eliminate a whole layer of dead, dull skin. A good moisturizing lotion or oil applied while your skin is moist will have you glowing all over.

A Cheerful Touch

Pick a favorite nail color each season that goes with most of what you

ZHDU 7ULP DQG ¿OH \RXU WRHQDLOV DQG SXW two coats of it on your toes. Follow with a quick topcoat or two — if you have kids or pets who step on your toes a lot.

Almost there! Dab a little scented oil or perfume on your pulse points and stand in front of a full-length mirror.

Take a moment to appreciate how good you look and feel.

When you take care of your sensual self, the reward is immediate and carries over into everything you do. You’ll feel inspired to look your best because you will feel your best. Enjoy the newly revived you.

Shopping list for your home spa: One talented hair stylist visited quarterly Set of great-smelling shampoo and conditioner Deep conditioner for weekly use Inexpensive pair of eyebrow tweezers Lip Stains in colors you often wear + lip balms Multi-vitamin with iron Self-sharpening eyeliner pencil Eyelash curler

Christ the King School =TTS`W\U >`S9! &bV 5`ORS 1ZOaaSa

OPEN HOUSE

Sunday, January 26 11am - 1pm

DISCOVER the difference of a St. Greg’s EDUCATION today!

PK3, PK4, EK, and K - 8

1SZSP`ObW\U ' gSO`a ]T @WU]`]ca /QORS[WQ 3fQSZZS\QS 4OWbV 0OaSR 3\dW`]\[S\b B]c` ]c` QO[^ca TOQWZWbWSa QZOaa`]][a ;SSb BSOQVS`a >O`S\ba O\R AbcRS\ba AB@3/; AQV]]Z AB@3/; /QORS[g /QQ`SRWbSR Pg ;WRRZS AbObSa 1][[WaaW]\ AbObS ]T bVS O`b BSQV\]Z]Ug :OP =TTS`a dO`WSbg ]T A^]`ba /`ba 3fb`OQc``WQcZO`a BcWbW]\ /aaWabO\QS /dOWZOPZS /ZZ eSZQ][S

At St. Gregory the Great, our goal is to develop students who learn, live and lead as Disciples of Christ. We focus on prayer, positive relationships, strong curriculum and a variety of sports starting as young as Kindergarten.

2 Lamarck Dr. j Snyder, NY 14226 839-0473 j www.myctkschool.com

www.stgregsschool.org

OPEN HOUSE Sunday, January 26 (! O[ (! ^[ 250 St. Gregory Ct. | Williamsville, NY 14221

(716) 688-5323

ENTER TO WIN

Party Giveaway!

Ninja Warrior Party for 12 at

Email and text discounts to your favorite clothing and lingerie stores Seasonal visits to clearance sales and favorite thrift stores Loofah brush, loofah mitt, SXPLFH VWRQH ¿QJHUQDLO EUXVK and exfoliating scrub

INCLUDES play on Ninja Warrior obstacles with ƚƌĂŝŶĞĚ EŝŶũĂ ŽĂĐŚĞƐ͕ ƟŵĞ ŝŶ Ă ĚĞůƵdžĞ ƉĂƌƚLJ ƌŽŽŵ ǁŝƚŚ Ă ĚĞĚŝĐĂƚĞĚ ƉĂƌƚLJ ŚŽƐƚ͕ ƉŝnjnjĂ ĂŶĚ Ă tĂƌƌŝŽƌ WĂĐŬ Θ ŐŝŌ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ďŝƌƚŚĚĂLJ ĐŚŝůĚ͘

Moisturizing lotion or body oil

ENTRY DEADLINE: January 28, 2020

Nail clippers and emery boards

YES! Enter Us In “THE WARRIOR FACTORY BUFFALO PARTY” Drawing!

Nail polish in a fresh color and clear topcoat

NAME __________________________________________________________________

Scented body oils or perfumes to suit different moods

(ONE entry per family/address. No photocopies accepted. No purchase necessary.)

STREET ________________________________________________________________ CITY _______________________________ STATE ________ ZIP _________________ PHONE __________________________ Kids ages: _____________________________

Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz is always on the lookout for a free hour, so she can squeeze in a quick home spa treatment.

If you would like to receive our FREE Digital Issue, please provide your email (optional).

Email: __________________________________________________________________ MAIL ENTRY to: WNY Family, 3147 Delaware Ave., Suite B, Buffalo, NY 14217

To enter online, visit www.wnyfamilymagazine.com -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

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20 Milton Street ~ Williamsville, New York 14221

info@themayfairgardens.org

eee [OgTOW`UO`RS\a[]\bSaa]`W ]`U

ENROLL TODAY

Mount St. Mary Day Care

Serving the Community for 25 Years!

Call

877-3464

Today!

3 Accepting Children 18mos.-12yrs. 3 3 Preschool 3 Before & After School Care 3 Open 6:30am - 6:00pm 855 Englewood • Tonawanda, NY

www.msmdaycare.org

Northmore Nursery School

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Celebrating Over 50 Years

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Wednesday, January 22nd 9:30am–11:00am 6:00pm-8:00pm

A loving, caring atmosphere Classes for 3, 4 and +4 year olds Special visitors, field trips & family days 2771 Delaware Avenue • Kenmore, NY

Call 876-6282

www.northmorenurseryschool.com :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

±žīåƒƐ ±ÿåØƐ åüŹåžĚķåĻƒžØƐ ̱Ź±ÏƒåŹƐ ĞžĞƒžØƐ ŇĮŇŹĞĻďƐ ŇĻƒåžƒØƐ8±ÏåƐ{±ĞĻƒĞĻďØƐaƣžĞÏ 7IKMWXIV JSV preschool programs, STEM Saturdays, Friday Parents’ Night Out and Summer Camp!

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ĕ $( # Play & Learn School Temple Beth Zion

700 Sweet Home Rd. • Amherst, NY 14226

716-836-6565

ST. MARY’S

PRE-SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE! Thursday, January 23rd & Friday, January 24th

Elementary School

# 5GWUU KECN #FXGPVWTG ~ OPEN HOUSE ~ Tues, Jan. 21 • 5-6:30pm

10am - Noon

To RSVP, please email pals@tbz.org

PALS-Kadimah is a warm, welcoming, community Jewish pre-school with an enriched curriculum.

Come see us in action!

Meet the teachers, explore our classrooms and experience all r! that PALS-Kadimah has to offe

For Pre-K 3 & 4 and Kindergarten Join us for a

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FOUR SEASONS

Kids will enjoy

ś5GWƑ KECNŜ ƱưU ƪ CEƹXƻKƴ while parents learn about SME’s solid foundation.

Light ts Refreshmen d ve er S be l il w 2 St. Mary’s Hill Lancaster NY 14086

CHILDCARE CENTER & PRESCHOOL

Quality Child Care You & Your Kids Will Love!

• Programs for Infants, Toddlers, 2 & 3 Year Olds • 4 Year Old Pre-K Program • Experienced Staff • Award winning Gymnastics & Dance Programs available onsite • Exciting Summer Camp at 9 Mile Island

716-683-2112

AGES 6 WEEKS TO 12 YEARS

$"-- /0 8 GP &BSMZ #JSES $B %JTDPVOU NQ

ENROLL TODAY! Call 568-1140

www.smeschool.com

1639 N. French Rd. • Getzville, NY 14068

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Parent’s Day Out 22 Months and Up

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for 2020-2021 School Year -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

H

ave you watched Mean Girls (SNL Studios) with your teen daughter?

There is a memorable line in the movie when Mrs. George states, “I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a COOL mom.”

Of course, Mrs. George is a caricature of a mom trying too hard to be “one of the girls.”

She makes mocktails for “happy hour,” wears skimpy clothing, and allows her daughter to occupy the master bedroom suite.

Are You a COOL Parent?

Val-Essen describes, “Cool parents are parents teens can be proud of. Parents engaged in meaningful activities — those that keep them alive and passionate about life — are cool parents teens admire.”

Are “cool parents” more in tune with their teens? What does it really mean to be a cool parent?

A cool parent is someone who can relate to teens but still establishes a position of respect and authority. A cool parent might occasionally forego a night out with her spouse so her teen can invite friends over for pizza.

She might shake her thing to the latest version of Just Dance (Wii video game) with her teen daughter and her girlfriends. However, it’s not so cool — and will likely embarrass her teen — if she suddenly decided to talk like a rap artist or wear a string bikini during her teen’s backyard pool party.

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cVVS pIXLUZY IXL tX[S_ cVUULKZLØ Cool parents know that the key to staying on the same page as their teenagers is to stay involved and interested in their dreams and goals.

Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D., author of Bring Out the Best in Your Child and Your Self: Creating a Family Based on Mutual Respect (Quality Parenting) DQG DQ LQQRYDWRU LQ WKH ¿HOG RI SDUHQW education, believes that teens want to stay connected with their parents even though, at times, it seems that they prefer their own world. “Respect is the link,” she explains. “Respect yourself, :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

lingo. However, parents are older and different than their teens, and trying to look and sound like them may seem fake. Parents can connect with teens by being authentic and empathetic.”

TWEENS & TEENS — by Myrna Beth Haskell your children, and those with whom you interact.” She says that teens will be naturally drawn to parents who are powerful role models.

Christina G. Hibbert, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist, mother of six, and author of This is How We Grow (Oracle Folio Books), points out, “One of the worst things parents can do is try to be their teen’s friend. They have plenty of ‘cool’ friends. Instead of trying to be like your teen, focus on being open to your teen. Do activities with them that they enjoy. Make time to listen whenever they need you.”

Grace Malonai, Ph.D., LPCC, a psychotherapist specializing in parenting and family relationships, explains, “It is common for people to think that in order to connect with their teens they need to get down on a teen’s level by wearing similar clothing or talking the

Parents should be aware of the latest teen trends, both good and bad. Educate yourself about new social media sites, music, movies, as well as anything illicit or unhealthy teens might be exposed to. You can’t advise your teen if you don’t know what is going on.

Staying connected with your teen also means that you are familiar with his current circle of friends and his social activities. Allow your teen to have friends over regularly so you can get to know them on a more personal basis.

Take your teen on regular outings and spend time doing something your teen loves, even if it makes the hairs on your DUP VWDQG XS H J ZDLWLQJ IRU WKH ¿UVW car on a hyper coaster, etc.).

wOIZ Y ZOL b[`` Communication is the key to all successful relationships. Teens don’t always talk to their parents about what is going on, but parents must keep trying to break that barrier.

Malonai, recommends, “Listen to your teen with all that you have, and make sure you are available when the time is right.” She also advises parents to show interest in their teen’s feelings without using accusatory language.

For instance, a parent might say, “The words in that song tell a sad story, yet you are smiling. This makes me curious.” She explains that empathetic lis-

tening takes practice but is necessary.

SINGLE PARENTING

Val-Essen advises, “Wear an antenna! Show an interest in their world.

Also, share openly about the meaningful aspects of your day to create an atmosphere where exchange is natural.”

— by Diane C. Dierks, LMFT

“Know what is happening in their life and who is important in their life.

Even if they seem bothered by your questions, keep asking,” Hibbert says.

“They need you more than they will admit, and they want you to be interested in them.”

Being a cool parent shouldn’t mean you morph into a middle-aged adolescent. Instead, it should mean that you haven’t forgotten what it is like to EH FDUHIUHH DQG \RX FDQ VWLOO ¿QG \RXU sense of humor. Perhaps it means that you understand your teen is changing and you embrace those changes and his need for more independence. However, at the same time, you still insist that he follows a set of rules and expectations.

Now, that’s cool!

TIPS & TALES “I try to remind my son that I was his age once and have “been there” even though it was during the age of the dinosaurs!”

— Lori Ann Jones, Salt Point, NY “To stay connected with my teen daughter, I get up to take her to the bus. It’s when we talk without interruptions from siblings, pets, or the phone. It’s when I get the daily forecast, results from the previous night’s reality show, and hear about what’s going on at school.”

— Lynda Radano, Berlin, NJ Myrna Beth Haskell is the author of “LIONS and TIGERS and TEENS: Expert advice and support for the conscientious parent just like you” (Unlimited Publishing, LLC). Her work has appeared in publications across the U.S. as well as internationally. Learn more at www.myrnahaskell.com.

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ne of the best things you can do for your kids after a divorce is to sit down with them and explain what will happen in the future. That means going over with them the detailed parenting plan that you have worked out with the other parent.

Unfortunately, too many divorcing parents don’t spend the time making a plan because they’re too busy doing battle over other issues. So, rule number one is: If you do not have a parenting plan in place –ge t one!

When I divorced, my attorney wrote into the divorce decree that visitation would be “reasonable and negotiable.”

I crack up when I think about that now because neither my ex nor I had a good idea about what that meant exactly. So, we made up the rules as we went along and it proved to be a negative for the kids.

“Reasonable and negotiable” is an RYHUVLPSOL¿HG DQG XQUHDOLVWLF ZD\ WR outline a co-parenting strategy. Some of the important details that should be in your plan are: Who will have primary custody of the children

How parents will make decisions regarding education, religion, and medical issues How each parent will share time with the children (weekly, monthly, summer, holidays) How parents will resolve disagreements regarding the plan Now, keep in mind that a parenting plan is merely a guideline for parents, but the plan should assume a certain DPRXQW RI ÀH[LELOLW\ VR WKH\ GR QRW KDYH to feel unduly restricted by the plan.

If, for some reason, parents get into an argument over parental responsibilities, the parenting plan ensures that each parent has the right to a certain amount of time with the children, so neither parent can withhold that time simply because he or she is angry at the other parent.

When disagreements about the plan become insurmountable, parents should seek out the help of a mediator so that they can adjust the parenting plan to meet the needs of parents and children. continued on page 35 -DQXDU\ :1< )DPLO\

RAISING DIGITAL KIDS — by Mike Daugherty

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he Holidays are over. The gifts that were so shiny and new are beginning to lose some of their appeal. The cold, snowy January days quickly lead to the dreaded question, “What can we do?” As a parent of three, I can tell you this is our least favorite question. It can be tempting to toss them a tablet and let them watch videos for a while so that you can have some peace and quiet. No judgment. We’ve all done it. The sites I’ve listed below provide engaging activities for children that use the digital world to alleviate that real-world boredom by blending the two. Parents can join in the fun with these sites, too!

pause the video while they draw or rewatch a section if they don’t understand the instructions.

Rob does a phenomenal job of emphasizing that every artist is different.

It is perfectly okay if your drawing at home doesn’t look exactly like his. The artwork is colored and shaded when it is complete. The result is almost always something your child will be proud of.

The most challenging part is choosing what to draw from the thousands of options available. <RX FDQ ¿QG WKH FKDQQHO E\ VHDUFKing for Art For Kids Hub on YouTube.

If you’re not a fan of YouTube, check out ArtForKidsHub.tv. It is a paid site ($5.99 a month) run by the same family that allows you to access all the Art For Kids Hub videos in a friendly, ad-free environment.

3TRSWTRS_^ 6TO^

,]_ 3`M QZ] 6TO^ Art Hub for Kids is a family-friendly YouTube channel that teaches children how to draw in a fun way. Each video includes the leading artist, Rob, and one of his four children drawing alongside him. On-screen, he’ll draw a line or shape, and then his co-artist will draw the same thing. The camera shows both drawings side by side so the viewers can see exactly what to do. Kids can :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

The site even includes an area where kids can submit the things they’ve made to be featured online or ask questions to the Highlights’ staff like “I’m really messy. How can I get more organized?.”

The one downside to the digital site is the Hidden Pictures. The popularity of the activity caused Highlights to create a separate subscription-based website dedicated to Hidden Pictures. Parents can sign up for a free trial that will be billed monthly until cancelled. Overall, the site provides a load of fun, free activities for kids when boredom sets in. <RX FDQ ¿QG +LJKOLJKWV .LGV DW +LJKlightsKids.com.

Highlights magazine was a staple of my childhood growing up. The “Hidden Pictures” feature was easily my favorite part. The sixty-year-old publication continues to entertain another generation of children through their website. The digital version of Highlights Kids has lots of great content for kids ages six to twelve.

The site includes jokes, online games, and puzzles. The activities section contains forty different crafts and recipes that can be done without much adult supervision, for the most part.

Capital letter “ADULTS” signal kids when they’ll need a parent’s help.

1`YM]LTY Some readers may be familiar with the digital treasure trove of educational games, videos, and books that is Funbrain. Funbrain features content for kids in preschool through eighth grade. Some games help kids practice fundamental skills in language arts and math such as Word Derby and Math Basketball. The “skill and drill” model is not ideal for teaching new concepts, but it can be a useful practice tool. The content is leveled, which means your fourth grader will not see problems designed for a kindergarten student.

My favorite part of the site is the reading section. Funbrain offers digital copies of books for students to read. A quick search revealed books from popular series such as “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” and “Judy Moody.” The books are published online in their entirety. Free books online is an excellent way for kids to dip their toe in the water to see if they’d like a book series before going to the library.

Funbrain is free; however, it is supported by advertisements. The advertisements appear to be family-friendly, but they can become cumbersome at times. Head over to FunBrain. com to learn more.

.S]ZXP 8`^TN 7LM Google’s Chrome Music Lab is an excellent resource for children who love making music, singing songs, or both. The site provides a grid that you click on to add notes. The higher you place the note of the grid, the higher the sound made will be. The options along the bottom allow the musician to choose the style of the sounds. Kids can select from a grand piano, strings, woodwinds, and more. The tempo can be adjusted as well, giving you an upbeat, bouncy tune or a slower, melodramatic symphony.

Children can even record lyrics using the built-in microphone on their tablet or by plugging a microphone into your home computer.

While this fun, free activity won’t turn your little one into the next Beethoven, it is an excellent opportunity to engage WKHLU EUDLQ FHOOV RQ D GUHDU\ ZLQWHU DIWHUQRRQ <RX FDQ ¿QG WKLV in the Chrome experiments section of Google’s site by searching “Chrome Music Lab” from your favorite search engine.

Remember to join in with your kids on these activities, too!

For example, Art Hub for Kids is fun for kids AND adults. So is the Chrome Music Lab. Technology shouldn’t be your family’s answer to boredom. However, It can be used to grow your child’s love of reading, art, music, and more by giving them opportunities to practice their skills in new and unique ways.

Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google Innovator, and possible Starbucks adGLFW +H LV D FHUWL¿HG HGXFDWLRQDO WHFKQRORJ\ OHDGHU ZKR KDV served in a variety of roles through his eighteen-year career in public education. Currently, Mike is the Director of Technology for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School district in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning.

SINGLE PARENTING continued...

In fact, I suggest that divorced parents revisit their parenting plan every two years, simply because children’s needs will change as they mature.

It is never too late to put together a written parenting plan, so even if you’ve been divorced for some time, get a parenting plan in place for the sake of your children and your sanity. It is also D JRRG LGHD WR ¿OH LW IRUPDOO\ ZLWK WKH FRXUW VR WKDW LW LV OHJDOO\ enforceable. A mediator can help you put the plan together and can point you in the right direction to have it legalized.

Once the plan is in place, you need to communicate it to the children. Keep in mind that kids, no matter what age, will make assumptions about their post-divorce lives based on what they have heard from friends and other sources. The best information will come from you, so don’t leave your child to her own frightening assumptions. A clearly communicated parenting plan will go a long way to ease many of the unfounded fears kids have about life after divorce. As soon as you have a parenting plan agreement, follow these steps: 1) Sit down together, if possible. Many former couples claim they cannot be in the same room together, but it’s only for an hour or so, and when kids are present, most couples tend to be on their best behavior. If you absolutely cannot fathom the idea, then compose a personal letter addressed to your kids that both of you can sign. That way, they’ll have something that tells them you are in agreement. Be sure to make your talk or letter age-appropriate for the kids.

2) Be positive and supportive. Divorce is painful, so no one expects you to be cheery about the outcome, but let your kids know that this is not THEIR divorce and that you support their right to have a relationship with the other parent.

3) Share the details of the plan. It’s important that your kids understand the agreement is in writing. Tell them what the details of the plan are, but also explain that there will be room IRU ÀH[LELOLW\ DQG WKDW WKH ZULWWHQ DJUHHPHQW LV WKHUH LQ FDVH their parents have trouble communicating in the future. This gives kids the assurance that they won’t have to bear the burden RI GHFLGLQJ ZKDW WR GR ZKHQ WKHLU SDUHQWV DUH ¿JKWLQJ ) Support the plan. Even if you fought like cats and 4 dogs to come up with the plan, don’t go backwards. Kids will play parents against each other if they feel either parent is not supportive of the plan. This only serves to put them in the control seat instead of the parents. ) Follow the plan. The worst thing you can do is not 5 follow through with what you said they could expect. Flexibility is important, but so is consistency. If something simply doesn’t work, you can always modify.

Diane C. Dierks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. She is also author of “The Co-Parent Toolbox” (2014 Aha! Publishing) and “Solo Parenting: Raising Strong & Happy Families” (1997 Fairview Press). For more information visit her website is www.dianedierks.com.

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Daughter

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by Patrick and J.L. Hempfing

Ways to Handle Stress

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arents deal with stress in a variety of ways.

Tennis is my stress outlet, along with eating ice cream and donuts. Obviously, playing tennis is a much healthier choice than comfort foods.

Recently, my daughter Jessie came KRPH H[FLWHG WR VKDUH D QHZ VWUHVV ¿JKWing activity she had heard about — goat yoga. My comfort zone has boundaries, and Jessie keeps trying to expand them.

Daily. Before I go further, let’s turn it over to Jessie for her thoughts.

-HVVLH $JH When my friend at school told me about goat yoga, it sounded like a ton RI IXQ %DVLFDOO\ \RX JR LQWR D ¿HOG DQG do yoga while a bunch of goats walk around and crawl on you. I came home from school and told my dad about it.

To me, doing yoga with goats crawling on you sounded great, but not to Daddy.

He’s not an animal person.

I told Mom about it later, and she loves the idea. She and I are a lot alike in our love for animals. When we are going for a family walk, we will walk around and pet all the dogs we pass where Dad would rather avoid them. He’s not mean to dogs, and he loves our dog, Sadie, but dogs just aren’t his thing.

I think Dad should be a little more open-minded when it comes to goat yoga and dogs. It is good that we have each other. I get him out of his comfort zone, and he gets me out of mine. It is good to :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

try things, because you never know what you may enjoy. Let’s hear my father’s view.

This father’s view is quite simple.

I have no intention of ever having my view obstructed by goat legs, tails, or any other goat anatomical parts. Having goats bleating and crawling on and around me while I do yoga doesn’t interest me in the least.

However, Jessie raised a good point about the importance of keeping an open mind. Not knowing a single thing about goat yoga, I Googled it. I was surprised to read about the mental and physical EHQH¿WV RI JRDW \RJD 7KRVH ZKR GR LW say it’s a great way of disconnecting from stress. Did I close my mind too soon?

Our lives are shaped by our personal experiences. My only experience with a goat came many years ago, when my wife, Mattie, and I were dating. Her parents were away and it was our responsibility to milk the family goat. We should have asked for directions because how to milk a goat is not as obvious as it seems.

There’s a technique to getting the milk to squirt out instead of just squishing DURXQG ZKLFK WKH JRDW ¿QGV KLJKO\ LUritating. It’s safe to say that Mattie’s goat was not a therapy goat, which is probably why I no longer wish to be up close and personal with goats.

In response to Jessie’s comment “dogs just aren’t his thing,” I feel I must VKDUH P\ ¿UVW WHHQDJH MRE ² D QHZVSDper carrier. Dogs have a special animos-

ity for newspaper carriers. Luckily, I made it through several years of home newspaper delivery while avoiding the angry guardians of their owners’ property, except for one. I have a tiny scar on my left leg to show for my dedicated service.

With my hard-to-milk goat and dogchasing-after-me experiences, it’s safe to say I’m not as comfortable around goats and dogs as my wife and daughter. Also, when I take a walk, I like to get my circulation pumping instead of stopping every three seconds to pet a dog, no matter how cute it is (Mattie and Jessie think all dogs are cute).

:KLFK OHDGV PH WR -HVVLH¶V ¿QDO point, “It is good that we have each other.” On this point I couldn’t agree more.

Jessie and I have helped each other expand our comfort zones. Our family is also blessed in that Mattie and I have GLIIHUHQW LQWHUHVWV WKDW EHQH¿W -HVVLH , can already see the smiles on Jessie’s and Mattie’s faces when they go work out with the goats. I’ll have a smile on my face, too, as a nearby spectator enjoying my cone of ice cream.

But whether I’m cheering on my goat-yoga exercisers or relaxing with a three-scoop cone of ice cream, one thing is certain ’tween daughter and dad, I love my girl and my girl loves me.

Until next month, remember to cherish the moments. Happy New Year!

Good luck in achieving your New Year’s resolutions. Doing goat yoga won’t be on my list, but I will try to monitor the ice cream intake. All parents need ways to handle stress.

3DWULFN +HPS¿QJ KDG D \HDU SURIHVsional career in banking, accounting, and auditing before he became a father at age 44. He is now a full-time husband, stay-at-home dad, and writer. Follow Patrick at KWWS SDWULFNKHPS¿QJ FRP. - / +HPS¿QJ QRZ EHJDQ ZULWLQJ with her dad in kindergarten. Her current hobbies include playing clarinet, saxophone, and piano. She also enjoys marching in her high school band. If you enjoyed this column, you’ll like Patrick’s ¿UVW ERRN ³0R0(1WV $ 'DG +ROGV On.” The book compiles favorite stories and new material and is available for sale on Amazon.

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1RQH &OR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ON THIS lLM S CONTENT VISIT WWW PARENTPREVIEWS COM

ajor Roy McBride (Brad Pitt) has been working for United States Space Command his whole adult life, to the exclusion of all else.

Following a massive power surge originating from Neptune which threatens life on Earth, he is ordered on a secret mission.

Space Command believes that the surge is coming from a former project of their own, titled Project Lima, and led by Roy’s late father, Clifford McBride. Roy is sent to Mars to send a secure communication to determine who may be responsible for these devastating events.

Ad Astra leans comfortably on the tradiWLRQV RI VFLHQFH ¿FWLRQ ¿OP DQG EHQH¿WV IURP it. That’s not to say that the movie is unoriginal or clichéd, far from it. It is just familiar enough to be accessible, but unique and brilliant in new ways which prevent it from feeling tired or played out. If it had simply rehashed a movie like 2001: A Space Odyssey, it would be far less successful. Instead, it PDNHV UHIHUHQFHV WR WKDW ¿OP DQG XVHV WKHP as a jumping-off point to tell a new and compelling story.

There is so much to love here. The cinematography is reminiscent of Kubrick, with its proclivity for colorful and textural imagery juxtaposed with stillness and silence. Long careful shooting yields beautiful UHVXOWV PDNLQJ WKLV D ¿OP \RX FRXOG HQMR\ even with the sound off. That said, I’d recommend leaving it on. The score is haunting and beautiful, cutting ephemerally through the silence of space. I will admit, the pacing is a little slow, but it is remarkably consisWHQW ZKLFK JLYHV LW D VOLJKWO\ ÀRDW\ IHHO , think that works well for a story set mostly in zero-gravity.

What especially stands out are the strengths in writing and acting. The script

is personal, wasting little time with plodding exposition and leaving it to the camera to show you all the background information you need to understand the plot.

The dialogue is instead used to develop characters and advance the emoWLRQDO FRUH RI WKH ¿OP ² which is where Brad Pitt comes in. As the ¿OP JRHV RQ KH EHFRPHV PRUH DQG PRUH emotive, and the contrast between beginning and end is incredible.

Parents trying to decide if they want to take their teens to Ad Astra will want to be DZDUH RI WKH ¿OP¶V YLROHQW FRQWHQW :KLOH there aren’t many individual incidents, the ones which do occur are quite graphic. People are shown with detailed injuries, and I wouldn’t recommend bringing a squeamish SHUVRQ WR WKLV ¿OP ² XQOHVV WKH\ KDYH D SHUverse interest in seeing what explosive decompression looks like on a big screen. Otherwise, there is remarkably little profanity, and no sexual content or drug/alcohol use. $V ERWK D VFL ¿ QHUG DQG D PRYLH FULWic, this has been one of my favorite movies of the year. If you want a better idea of how this story feels, think Apocalypse Now meets 2001: A Space Odyssey. It’s a potent combination, and it works brilliantly. It forgoes Kubrick’s typical emotional sterility and uses the additional humanity to create a story both much darker and far richer. Honestly, you can’t go wrong seeing this. I can’t think of a better way to spend two hours in the dark.

4!,+ !"/54 4(% -/6)% 7)4( 9/52 &!-),9x Clifford McBride deliberately sacri¿FHG KLV IDPLO\ WR SXUVXH KLV FDUHHU DQG VSHFL¿FDOO\ WKH /LPD 3URMHFW +RZ ZRXOG \RX feel if you were in Roy’s position? Do you think Clifford’s explanation was adequate?

What consequences has that decision had on Roy’s personal and professional life?

Project Lima was engaged in the search for extra-terrestrial life. There are hundreds of billions of planets in the Milky Way Galaxy, and the odds of life existing outside of Earth might be higher than you think. How do you think the people of Earth would react to the existence of life on other worlds? What would you expect those aliens to look like?

7!4#( !4 (/-%x As always, 2001: A Space Odyssey is P\ JR WR UHFRPPHQGDWLRQ IRU VFLHQFH ¿Ftion. Cold, dangerous, and with colossal scale, 2001 LV D PXVW VHH IRU VFL ¿ IDQV Interstellar, directed by Chris Nolan, features a group of people forced to participate in a highly dangerous space mission in order to prevent catastrophes on Earth.

The Martian, starring Matt Damon and directed by Ridley Scott, follows abandoned astronaut Mark Watney as he struggles to survive on Mars until a rescue can be organized.

1997’s Contact HQJDJHV ZLWK WKH GLI¿cult question of how humanity would react to making contact with extraterrestrial life.

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DEAR TEACHER – by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts

Helping all parents make their FKLOGUHQ·V HGXFDWLRQDO H[SHULHQFH as successful as possible

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uestion: My daughter is in sixth grade. She is a good reader and understands what she reads. The problem is she is a very slow reader, and I wonder how she is going to do on all the standardized tests that she will be required to take. What can be done to increase her reading speed? — Slow Reader Answer: The best readers are not always the fastest nor the slowest readers.

They are the ones who recognize most words, read most material at a gradelevel rate and, most importantly, understand what they have read. Nevertheless, you are right that on standardized tests an extremely slow reader is going to have problems.

First of all, what is your child’s reading rate that you believe is too slow? At the start of the school year, the child should have been reading about 160 words per minute, and she should improve to about 170 words at the end of the year. If she deviates greatly from these speeds, she needs to improve her rate. This can be done by removing bad reading habits, if her comprehension and word recognition skills are up to grade level.

• Finger pointing: 8VLQJ KHU ¿QJHU WR NHHS KHU SODFH GH¿QLWHO\ ZLOO VORZ KHU reading rate down. Have her replace her ¿QJHU ZLWK D [ FDUG WR NHHS KHU SODFH • Head moving: Put her reading PDWHULDO RQ D ÀDW VXUIDFH LQ IURQW RI KHU and have her place her elbows on the surface and hold her head with her hands.

• Word-by-word reading: She will need to make an effort to read phrases instead of individual words. Try having her UHDG SDVVDJHV ZLWK D ÀXHQW UHDGHU $OVR PDNH ÀDVKFDUGV ZLWK FRPPRQ SKUDVHV and see how fast she can read them.

• Moving from line to line: Triple space a typed paragraph then draw a line from the end of a line to the beginning of the next.

• Backtracking: As soon as a line is read, she should cover it with a 3x5 card cut on an angle, so it covers the beginning of the line as she reads the end.

3DUHQWV· 5ROH LQ WK *UDGHUV +RPHZRUN Question: How much should ZH PRQLWRU RXU ¿IWK JUDGH GDXJKWHU¶V homework? — Busy Parent

You will need to observe your daughter while she is reading to see if she has any of the bad habits listed below that could lower her rate. If some are the problem, solutions are given for handling them and thus improving her reading rate.

Answer: Remember just whose homework it is anyway! The earlier a child learns to not rely totally on parents, the faster the child will become a better student. As a parent, you never want WR IHHO WKDW \RX DUH JRLQJ WKURXJK ¿IWK grade for the second time! And parents who actually do the homework for their FKLOGUHQ KDYH GH¿QLWHO\ JRQH WRR IDU

• Reading aloud: Moving lips for each word. Put a pencil between her lips.

The pencil will fall out if she is reading orally while reading silently.

While parents may feel that being very involved in their children’s homework is the right thing to do, it really sends the message that the children are

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incapable of doing the work and that the main objective is perfection. It also denies children the opportunity to develop skills and gain understanding from the experience. And it certainly doesn’t teach them how to be responsible or to persevere with a task. In fact, one RI WKH JUHDW EHQH¿WV RI FKLOGUHQ GRLQJ their homework by themselves is that it teaches them that they can struggle, try several different approaches, and sucFHHG 7KLV UHDOO\ JLYHV WKHP FRQ¿GHQFH in their own abilities that will carry over to other school tasks.

However, if your child wants you to correct her completed work, you may point out errors or, better yet, the types of errors she has made. It is important for her to discover and correct her own errors. Point out individual errors only when time is limited.

+LQWV RQ +DQGOLQJ 3HHU 3UHVVXUH Question: My kids are so different. Both are in elementary school. One can say “No” easily to friends. The other can’t and is a victim of peer pressure.

How can I help her say “No” when she should? — Pressured Answer: Strangely enough, peer pressure can be good and bad. It is good when the peer group inspires your child to do well in academics and extracurricular activities. And of course, it can be very bad when it entices your child to do drugs or participate in dangerous activities.

One way to help your child handle peer pressure besides talking about it is to roleplay likely scenarios that your child could face. Doing so really does help children learn how to suggest alternatives and to walk away from bad pressure. Another very positive way to handle peer pressure is to invite other children to your home where you can see LI DQRWKHU FKLOG KDV D QHJDWLYH LQÀXHQFH on your child.

Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher. com or to the Dear Teacher website.

PICK OF THE LITERATURE — by Dr. Donna Phillips

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anuary is the time of year to reÀHFW RQ WKH SDVW DQG ORRN IRUward to the future. It is no different with books. So many adventures were had in 2019 and so many wonderful books were published during the year.

Some books fell neatly into my column plans for the year, but others were unexSHFWHG DOWKRXJK GH¿QLWHO\ LQWHUHVWLQJ In the end, many of the books had to be set aside, but now is our chance to take one more look at the ones that almost got away!

How Many? (Charlesbridge PubOLVKLQJ 1HZ <RUN , written and photographed by Christopher Danielson, certainly is a different kind of counting book!

Instead of telling you what or how to count, he encourages the reader to decide. And the more you look at a page, the more ways you ¿QG WR FRXQW 7KLV ERRN LV DOO DERXW thinking math and using math. As you turn the pages there are more options and more ways to think about counting and the purposes for doing so. The end RI WKH ERRN LQYLWHV WKH UHDGHU WR UHÀHFW on the act of counting and new ways to think about mathematics. This approach to “thinking” math is a wonderful way to start our young ones off on the right foot to be able to see math all around us.

Danielson’s helpful website www.talkingmathwithkids.com is just what parents need to help them begin to “think” math too!

Another book that is different from the others in their category is the Not D %XWWHUÀ\ $OSKDEHW %RRN (Charlesbridge Publishing, New York, 2019, $17.99), written by Jerry Pallotta and stunningly illustrated by Shennen Ber-

sani. We usually think of moths as brown and drab, but this book shows us how colorful and beautiful they can be. Organized by the alphabet, Pallotta share secrets and details of their lives, while Bersani captures the incredible intricacies of their markings. There are moths the look OLNH ÀRZHUV 2QHV WKDW ORRN OLNH ELUGV One even has markings that make it look like it has other insects on its wings. It is hard to believe that these moths can rival the beauty of the most delicate and gorJHRXV EXWWHUÀ\ 'RQ¶W OHW WKLV ERRN À\ away without taking a closer look at it!

If you are a history buff and fascinated by the back-story and intrigue of war, Spies, Lies and Disguise: The Daring Tricks and Deeds that Won World War II (Bloomsbury Children’s Books, New York, 2019, $21.99), written

by Jennifer Swanson and illustrated by Kevin O’Malley, is one that might have escaped notice. This book doesn’t cover the history of the war but reveals the covert and underground operations and how it was the job of military strategists, leaders, and experts to outthink and outmaneuver the enemy. The unsung heroes of these outrageous operations will captivate and capture your attention and imagination.

National Geographic has done it DJDLQ ZLWK WKLV H[FHSWLRQDOO\ PDJQL¿cent book Encyclopedia of American Indian History and Culture (National Geographic Partners, Washington, 2019, $24.99) by Cynthia O’Brien and graced by stunning photographs, and im-

ages of artwork and artifacts.

Organized by geographic regions and alp h a b e t i c a l l y, we learn in great details about the stories, time lines, histories, food, dress, artwork, rituals, and more fascinating details of indigenous peoples. Done with reverence and respect for the lives and locations of often unknown or overlooked groups, this is a book that will immerse you in the cultures, nature, history, and resilience of the “keepers of the earth.”

Maybe (Compendium ,QF 6HDWWOH , written by Kobi Yamada and dreamily illustrated

by Gabriella Barouch, just may be the most marvelous and magical of all the books that almost got away. The ideas conveyed by the delicate choice of words and detailed illustrations leave the reader with the belief that they too are magical. It simply makes us realize that we are here for a purpose in a time and place that will never be again. This book, that suspends us between the past and the future, makes us realize that now is our time and space for realizing who we are and what we are here to accomplish. It gives hope and purpose to all regardless of age, station, condition, or place. This uplifting and positive book is perfect for inviting us to let go of the past year and look to the coming year with hope and purpose.

Look to your past… Reach for the future… Stay grounded in the present.

Hoping you have a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Dr. Donna Phillips is an associate professor in the College of Education at Niagara University where her specialty is literacy and children’s literature. She lives on Grand Island, NY and is the mother of two adult children and the grandmother of one.

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8 Great Apps For Kids With Special Needs ² E\ 7DQQL +DDV 3K '

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ids with special needs are diverse like any other kids, and there are many educational apps that can help them with their special needs. Here are 8 of the best ones, and they’re all free. So if you’re a parent or caregiver of kids with special needs, have them check them out, and download the ones that are the most useful and fun.

ChatterPix Kids (Available at Apple Appstore; Google Play) This app is great for kids who need help practicing their oral communication skills. They can either upload or take a picture of themselves, draw a mouth, and then record anything they want to say.

It’s particularly useful if you’re having a GLI¿FXOW FRQYHUVDWLRQ DW KRPH DQG \RXU NLGV ¿QG LW HDVLHU WR H[SUHVV WKHLU YLHZV through an avatar rather than directly to you. It can also be useful in school if your kids require extra time composing an answer to a teacher’s question. They can record and re-record their response until they get it just the way they want it.

DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE AUTISM?

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Coach.me (Available at Apple Appstore; Google Play) Drawing on the latest psychological and behavioral research, this is a great app which assumes that a key to achieving one’s goals is to develop good, consistent habits. Users decide which habits they’d like to develop, track those habits over time, receive reminders, and then get positive feedEDFN KLJK ¿YHV ZKHQ WKH\ UHDFK WKHLU goals. Depending on their age and maturity, your kids can either use this app on their own or with a little help from you.

Emotionary (Available at Apple Appstore; Google Play)

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If you want to help your kids better understand other people’s emotions, the best thing you can do is help them better understand their own. This app has more than 100 short, dictionaryVW\OH GH¿QLWLRQV RI FRPPRQ HPRWLRQV each accompanied by a emoticon. This helps kids develop a rich vocabulary for expressing their emotions, and it teaches them coping skills so that they don’t become overwhelmed by their emotions. They can create their own emoticons for emotions they think aren’t included in the app but are really important to them.

iOT Session (Available: Apple Appstore) Created by a well-known occupational therapist, Dr. Frederick Covington, this app features lots of kidfriendly, game-like exercises aimed at

improving their visual perception, tracking, and coordination. ,W DOVR LPSURYHV ¿QH PRWRU VNLOOV HVSHFLDOO\ NLGV¶ DELOLW\ WR create proper letters. The app is used by occupational therapists everywhere, but your kids can use it too, either on their own or with your help, to track their progress over time.

MindShift CBT (Available at: Apple Appstore; Google Play) Based on cognitive behavioral therapy, which is widely used, this app teaches kids how to deal with different anxiety-provoking situations like conÀLFWV VRFLDO VLWXDWLRQV DQG WHVWV ,W IHDWXUHV WRROV WKDW KHOS users relax, practice mindfulness, and re-orient their thoughts.

It has audio recordings with guided meditations, a journal for users to record thoughts that make them the most anxious, and general tips for managing anxiety.

Model Me Going Places 2 (Available at: Apple Appstore) This social skills app teaches kids how to interact with different kinds of people that they encounter in their daily lives, such as grocery store clerks, hairdressers, doctors, and restaurant waiters. It has 12-photo slideshows that model kids engaging in appropriate behaviors with people in different settings.

My Little Suitcase (Available at: Apple Appstore) This game-like app, which can be played by up to four people, enhances kids’ ability to memorize and match items. Similar to the popular card game Memory, each player has a suitcase with six different items represented on a small card that is faced down. Players take turns turning the cards over. If the card is theirs, they put it in their suitcase. If not, it’s the next player’s turn. Aside from improving their working memory and retention skills, they learn how to focus, categorize, and engage in proper turn-taking.

It’s a great game for the whole family.

Unstuck (Available at: Apple Appstore; Google Play) This award-winning app helps users identify useful strategies when they’re stuck while trying to reach D VSHFL¿F JRDO .LGV DUH DVNHG WR H[SODLQ LQ ZKDW ZD\ WKH\¶UH stuck, how they feel about it, and how strong those feelings are. It also tells them what percentage of other users and faPRXV KLVWRULFDO ¿JXUHV KDYH IDFHG VLPLODU LVVXHV 7KH DSS then generates possible solutions to the problem. Its biggest educational value, however, is letting kids put words to their feelings and showing them that they’re not alone in feeling the way they do.

COMING IN OUR APRIL 2020 ISSUE: - 15TH ANNUAL-

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uicide rates in general have increased in the U.S. across all ages and ethnic groups, rising roughly 30% from 1999 to 2016.

In 2017, suicide was the second-leading cause of death among those ages 10 to 24, behind unintentional injuries, such as car crashes or drug overdoses.

A New York law now mandates that all public schools include mental health

education as a fundamental part of their school curriculum. New York’s bill went into effect on July 1, 2018, making it the second state (following Virginia) to require mental health education alongside physical health education. Many mental health experts think that this legislative reform marks an important moment for behavioral health awareness and prevention.

Mental and behavioral health conditions are prominent and often begin in childhood. In the United States, 13 percent of adolescents have experienced a major depressive episode in the past year, and nearly one in three has experienced some type of anxiety disorder in their lifetime. Researchers have estimated that 50 percent of mental illness begins by age 14, and 75 percent begins by age 24.

Unfortunately, research also shows that many children and adolescents with PHQWDO KHDOWK GLI¿FXOWLHV GR QRW UHFHLYH treatment. Architects of the New York law hope it will ensure young people learn about mental health to “increase the likelihood that they will be able to more effectively recognize signs” and seek treatment earlier. Ultimately, this new policy could help halt development of these conditions and reduce the number of youth who are affected as adults later in life.

This law represents an important way that systems — such as the school and health care systems — can collaborate to produce effective policy changes.

Together, the New York State Education Department and mental health advisory committees laid out key principles that guide schools on how to integrate this new curricula. The law gives latitude to individual districts, schools and classrooms to decide how to design curricula and lesson plans within certain parameters to meet the needs of their student population. Previously, the education guidelines included information on: alcohol, drug and tobacco abuse; and pre-

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vention and detection of certain cancers. With the implementation of this new law, educators and administrators added to their curriculum signs of mental health problems and appropriate resources to access help in the time of crisis, as well as materials to address the negative stigma associated with mental illness.

Mental health education in schools also has the potential IRU QXPHURXV RWKHU EHQH¿WV WR \RXWK )RU LQVWDQFH RSHQ FRQversations can help to reduce the stigma and negative attitudes toward mental illness that can prevent those who are suffering from reaching out for help. Further, in addition to supporting students’ health, this type of curriculum could have a positive impact on their academic achievement. Over 50 percent of students with behavioral disorders drop out of high school and of those who do remain in school, only 42 percent graduate. Additionally, more than 80 percent of students struggling with emotional or behavioral disorders scored below the general population in reading, writing and math.

The summary of the bill (A3887B) that eventually became New York State law states, “Mental health is as important to health and wellbeing as physical health. The World Health Organization considers health to be ‘a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disHDVH RU LQ¿UPLW\ ¶ 0HQWDO KHDOWK LV DQ LQWHJUDO SDUW RI RXU RYHUDOO health and should be an integral part of health education in New York schools. By ensuring that young people learn about mental health, we increase the likelihood that they will be able to more effectively recognize signs in themselves and others, including family members, and get the right help. Further, as we begin to teach the facts about mental health and openly discuss the issues from a health perspective, we will begin to remove the stigma surrounding mental illness — a stigma that causes ostracism and isolation, leads to bullying and keeps many students from getting the help they need.”

'ENTLE AND #ARING $ENTISTRY FOR #HILDREN 9OUTH !GES

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1660 Hopkins Rd. • Getzville, NY !CCEPTING &IDELIS (EALTHPLEX

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— Sources: Mental Health Association of New York State, New York State Assembly Bill A3887B, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Policy Lab.

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ver the years, many people have asked us how we cope with food allergies.

“What do you eat if you can’t have…?”

LV XVXDOO\ WKH ¿UVW TXHVWLRQ 7KH DQVZHU varies based on the number and severity of allergies.

Our toddler (who turns 26 years old this January!) was allergic to multiple foods: milk, egg, soy, wheat, peanut, tree nut, corn, and a few fruits. That made birthday parties especially challenging, until we learned to stop trying to do it like everyone else (cake was especially challenging) and instead focused on making the food fun.

What follows are two adorable recipes that are very kid-friendly, without a cake in sight. Frozen dipped bananas are a hit no matter the age. The fruit kabobs are fun to do as an edible activity, letting guests put together their own creations.

A few tips: The bananas for these recipes should be ripe but not overripe.

There are many allergy friendly chocolate chips, including white chocolate chips. Enjoy Life www. enjoylifefoods.com) and No Whey (www.nowheychocolate.com) are two of the better known brands.

Most brands of marshmallows contain gelatin, an animal byprodXFW <RX FDQ ¿QG YHJDQ DQG FRUQ free) marshmallows: www.dandiesmarshmallows.com. NOTE: this brand contains soy.

Craft sticks (also called Popsicle sticks) can be found at craft stores or online. :1< )DPLO\ -DQXDU\

Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, WHEAT, FISH, SHELLFISH, and GLUTEN, VEGAN*

2W^R^[PcT 3X__TS 1P]P]Pb Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, WHEAT, FISH, SHELLFISH, and GLUTEN, VEGAN Yield: 8 servings Prep Time: 15 minutes Cooking Time: 0 minutes Freezer Time: 2 1/2 hours

Yield: 8 servings Prep Time: 20 minutes Cooking Time: 0 minutes 4 bananas 8 large or 16 small strawberries 8 marshmallows* (read label for allergens) 16 watermelon pieces, grapes or other fruit Craft sticks

4 large or 8 small bananas 1 cup chocolate or vanilla chips (check the label for allergens) 1 tablespoon shortening (check the label for allergens) Sprinkles or crisp rice cereal (check the label for allergens)

Gather all ingredients, peeling bananas at the last minute. Cut bananas into 1” slices, cut larger berries in half. Skewer with craft stick, alternating banana, berry, watermelon, marshmallow (in the middle), then watermelon, berry, banana. Serve immediately. NOTE: if preferred, omit the marshmallows and use banana in the center.

Optional decorations Craft sticks Peel bananas. If large, cut in half. Insert craft sticks, place on wax paper lined pan. Put in freezer for 2 hours.

Place chocolate chips and shortening in microwave safe bowl. Microwave for 1 minute. Stir; if more time is needed to melt the chips, place back in microwave for 30 seconds. Do not overheat or they’ll clump.

Dip frozen bananas in chocolate, then roll in the sprinkles. Place back on the wax paper lined baking pan and freeze for another 30 minutes.

If you have any questions about our column, e-mail Kathy at allergy@ roadrunner.com. For further information about food allergies, contact FARE www.foodallergy.org, or call 1-800-9294040.

Kathy Lundquist is a Western New York parent whose son, now an adult, was born with severe food allergies. Over the last two decades she has worked tirelessly, in a variety of capacities to increase community awareness about food allergies.

THE KIDDIE GOURMET

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— by Barbara Blackburn

ospitality is the plate were so good I could +B[[CPMJOF served along have shared more of them. .BJO 4USFFU with creative My chef crafted plate "NIFSTU /: cuisine at the Jazzboline was the Garden Vegetable

restaurant, site of the old KB[[CPMJOF DPN Gratin, with Vegetable LasaHoward Johnson, where I gna, Ricotta, Herb Pistou, and _ 4100/4 _ loved the clam strips and San Marzano Tomato Sauce coffee ice cream. Frank '00% ($18.00). Mostly zucchini and and Dolly Reikart were eggplant dominated the dish, vaudeville stars, and Frank which was a reasonable porinvented the jazzboline, an 4&37*$& tion without overdoing the instrument with an angular size. The ingredients harmobody that was played like a nized well, like good music. banjo. In contrast to bygone '".*-: From another category, days, there is the menu on a '3*&/%-: called appropriately “From screen, with the prices reThe Garden,” there are more quiring more searching. You healthy choices.

Another can, however, request one of salmon entree, Salmon and Grains, feathose more user-friendly paper menus. tures Smoked Salmon Flakes, Arugula, The Junior Jocko menu — named Leeks, Red Quinoa, Farro, Aged Feta, after the Reikart’s pet monkey Jocko — Roasted Artichoke, and Red Onion Caper offers creative entrees for those 12 and Vinaigrette ($l6.00). under, for $10.00, along with a choice A more pricey category called “Famof beverage and a serving of Frank and ily Gathering and Sharing” offers SeaDolly’s ice cream. These more mature food Broil ($55.00), Pork Trio ($46.00), items often not seen on a kids’ menu inand Dolly Had a Little Lamb ($51.00). clude Rotisserie Pulled Chicken Salad, The Brick Oven artisan Flatbreads rePulled Pork Sliders, Buttermilk Chicken VHPEOH SL]]DV %HLQJ D IDQ RI ¿JV , QRTenders, and Cheese Flatbread, along ticed the Countryside, with Brie, Apples, with Mac ‘n Cheese, and Cheeseburger )LJV 'XFN &RQ¿W $UXJXOD 3DUPHVDQ Sliders. and Balsamic Reduction ($15.00).

A dessert selection was our choice The Vegetarian Burger ($14.00) is for an appetizer: Roasted Mission Figs not one of fake meat but of black bean, ($9.00), with whiskey caramel honey, corn, quinoa, and mushrooms, served mascarpone and macerated berries. This with pepitas, lettuce, tomato, avocado, was our favorite dish; our others did not chipotle aioli, onion, and smoked Gouda, delight as much. While we ate, we noRQ D 3UHW]HO %XQ

<RX¶OO ¿QG WKLV ticed the children dining with families. under Handhelds.

Although there is seating for children, As I said, we began with dessert for a there are no fun pages or entertainment. starter. Not topping the Roasted Mission If the kids fool around with the menu Figs but still delicious is Pots De Creme screens, they will have to surrender them of dark chocolate, orange, and whipped during dinner because they are not alcream ($9.00). lowed. Because of the loudness of the room, noisy kids should not be a probVaudeville may have died out, but lem, while conversing together may be. creative talent lives on in this departure from traditional American cuisine. It’s )ULGD\ QLJKW KDV DOZD\V EHHQ D ¿QH jazzed up comfort food produced with a time to enjoy the fruits of the sea. In our gourmet touch. case it was salmon. Dad enjoyed his PanSeared Salmon, from the Chef Crafted Plates. This was sustainable Faroe Island Barbara Blackburn teaches culinary Salmon, Artichokes, Tomatoes, Onions, classes for Williamsville Community Wild Mushrooms, Lemon Butter, and Education. Check out the catalogue at Crispy Leeks ($27.00). The partners on http://williamsville.augusoft.net

DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP CONTRACT continued... but kids sleep less if electronic devices are left on, losing up to one hour of sleep a night.

Stress that privacy is earned.

Because you are ultimately responsible for your child’s behavior whether online or off, have access to all passwords, check their phones, and visit the apps/ social media networks they frequent regularly.

Pledge not to text and drive.

Finally, if your child is of driving age, include a pledge on your contract that states a promise that he will not text and drive. Consider watching the 30-minute documentary by Werner Herzog together called “From One Second to the Next” on YouTube.

Clearly state consequences.

Consequences could include loss of devices, screen time (except for required school work), and driving privileges.

Sign here. After your child signs the commitment, hang it up near your computer or on your refrigerator as a family reminder. Review and adjust as needed.

For more ideas about creating a family digital citizenship contract, visit Safekids.com. Additional online resources, include CommonSenseMedia. org and ConnectSafely.com.

Freelance writer Christa Melnyk Hines is the author of “Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.”

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