March 2023

for the Single Mom

Shake Up Your Family’s Routine for FAMILY TRAVEL

INSIDE: Elder Care Guide: Caring for Our Aging Parents

OWNER/PUBLISHER

Paul M. Kline

ADVERTISING SALES

Paul M. Kline

EDITOR & CONSULTANT

Michele Miller

ADVERTISING DESIGN

Karen Wawszczyk

MAGAZINE LAYOUT/DESIGN

Melanie Schroeder Designs

CONTRIBUTORS

Barbara Blackburn • Donna Phillips

Shannon Carpenter • Deborah Williams

Kathy Lundquist • Mike Daugherty

Meagan Ruffing

Where It’s At!

Seeking Spring!

Features:

6 n Shake Up Your Family’s Routine for Spring by Rebecca Hastings

8 n Creative and Fun Ways for Kids & Grandparents to Connect by Rebecca Hastings

10 n 3 Things Frog & Toad Were Right About by Rebecca Hastings

21 n ELDERCARE GUIDE

Regulars:

5 n

12 n Pick of the Literature by Dr. Donna Phillips

45 n Dear Teacher by Peggy Gisler & Marge Eberts

46 n Family Travel

Toronto by Deborah Williams

50 n The Daddy Track

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A Special Pull-Out Section

• The Sandwich Generation: Squeezed Between Caring for Your Children & Your Aging Parents

• Seeking Balance in the Sandwich Generation: 10 Ways to Defeat Caregiver Stress

• Important Documents EVERYONE Should Organize, Regardless of Age

• Advice for Caregivers Managing Legal, Financial & Medical Decisions

• Lifestyle Tips for Preventing Cognitive Decline as You Age

• Social Determinants of Health and Alzheimer’s Disease and Related Dementias

• Alzheimer’s Association Addresses Wandering by People with Dementia

• Selecting an ElderCare Facility

• Stay Connected with a Loved One in Care

• More than 10% of Older Adults are at Risk of Elder Abuse

Directories:

14 n Summer Camps

58 n Wellness Choices

Let’s Break the Isolation of Fatherhood by Shannon Carpenter

51 n Parent Previews by Kirsten Hawkes

52 n Raising Digital Kids

The Dark Side of the Digital World by Mike Daugherty

54 n Tweens and Teens

Surprising Teen Conversation Starters by Laura Reagan-Porras

56 n Single Parenting Spring Break for the Single Mom by Meagan Ruffing

60 n Special Needs

Five Expert Tips to Help Teens with ADHD by Cheryl Maguire

62 n The Kid Friendly Kitchen Irish Soda Bread by Kathy Lundquist

63 n The Kiddie Gourmet Amira’s Kitchen by Barbara Blackburn

MOSAIC “TILES”

Who knew that you could use acrylic paints on Styrofoam plates and wind up with “tile” pieces that can be glued to picture frames or any other object you can think up to decorate! Paint just the flat inside bottom of the plates — don’t be afraid to swirl colors or paint a plate “half and half.” Then wait for them to dry. Once dry, cut the painted area into strips; then into squares and triangles. Use cleardrying glue appropriate to your surface to apply the pieces to your item. Finish with a coating of Mod Podge. Find all the details at: https://www.kenarry.com/easy-crafts-

PAPER BEADS

Are empty cereal boxes mounting up in your recycling bin? Have the kids turn them into colorful paper beads! Open up the seams on the boxes to allow them to lay flat; then cut them so that you have a rectangular piece of cardboard. On the back side, use a ruler to draw a line lengthwise so that it’s 3/4 inch wide on one end, tapering down to 1/8 inch wide on the other. Cut along the line and repeat for as many strips as you can get from a box. Wrap the wide end of a strip around a piece of 14-gauge wire to start winding your bead. About halfway through, you can remove the wire. Add a dot of tacky glue here and there as you wind. Stack your beads on a piece of wire stuck in Styrofoam in order to coat them with a clear glossy sealant like Mod Podge. Check out the complete tutorial at: https://suzyssitcom. com/2014/07/making-paper-beads-with-kelloggs-cereal-boxes-goodnightsnack-cbias.html

MAKE ART WITH BEANS!

White beans, black beans, white glue, black acrylic paint, 9 x 12 canvas covered board, and acrylic sealant are all you need to create your masterpiece. Sketch it out or trace your design onto the canvas in pencil. Paint everything that’s going to be covered in black beans with black paint so none of the white canvas will show through when you place your beans. When dry, place beans, gluing as you go. Of course, you can create your own design with different color beans; just follow the basic technique found here: https://suzyssitcom.com/2014/10/how-to-createfun-wall-art-with-beans.html

YARN MONSTERS

Use up your excess yarn by creating these little monsters! Wrap yarn around the long side of a piece of cardboard (2 1/2” x 4”) about 150-200 times; tie off in the center to make a pom-pom. Hot glue this pom-pom over a 5 oz. paper cup. Make a second pom-pom by winding around the short side of the cardboard 20-30 times to make a “toupee” pom-pom; glue this one to the top of the first pom-pom. Add googly eyes and antennae made from pipecleaners. Cut out paper hearts or other shapes to add to the end of the antennae. For complete details visit: https://eighteen25.com/lil-love-monsters/

WHAM-O CELEBRATES 75th ANNIVERSARY

The iconic toy company known for its legendary products such as Frisbee®, Slip N Slide®, Hula Hoop®, and Hacky Sack® is celebrating its 75th anniversary. Since 1948, Wham-O has been dedicated to bringing joy and imagination to generations of children and adults around the world through its innovative products and commitment to play.

“Wham-O has a rich history of bringing people together and fostering a sense of community through play,” said President of WhamO, Todd Richards. “As we celebrate our 75th anniversary, we are proud to continue that tradition and look forward to many more years of creating products that inspire joy, imagination, and play.”

Founded in 1948 by Richard Knerr and Arthur “Spud” Melin, Wham-O began as a small company selling slingshots and other toys. Over the years, the company has become a household name and has introduced many iconic products that have become synonymous with outdoor play, including the Frisbee®, Slip N Slide®, Hula Hoop®, Super Ball®, and Hacky Sack®.

In honor of its 75th anniversary, WhamO is launching a special edition of its classic products, as well as new, innovative products that continue the company’s tradition of bringing joy and play to the world.

For more information, visit wham-o.com.

IS INFLATION AFFECTING THE TOOTH FAIRY?

Have you wondered how the Tooth Fairy has been fairing? Well, the good news is, the Tooth Fairy has been spreading its magic in a big way! Wisevoter conducted a study of the Tooth Fairy’s spending patterns in 2023 and compared them to those in 2020, and the results are quite fascinating.

Key Insights:

• The North East region saw an increase of 28% in Tooth Fairy rewards since 2020.

• The West saw a boost of 26% in Tooth Fairy gifts since 2020.

• On the other hand, the South saw a decrease of 13.4% in Tooth Fairy rewards.

• The Mid West also saw a dip of 4% in Tooth Fairy gifts since 2020.

The Tooth Fairy Payout Index is a list of states ranked by the average amount paid in dollars. Here are the top 10 states where the Tooth Fairy has been extra generous this year:

1. Delaware: $8.91

2. Hawaii: $8.39

3. Florida: $7.42

4. Mississippi: $6.17

5. Rhode Island: $6.12

6. Texas: $6.00

7. Wisconsin: $5.89

8. New York: $5.88

9. Georgia: $5.81

10. New Jersey: $5.61

For the full report visit https://wisevoter.com/ state-rankings/tooth-fairy-payout-by-state/.

In Western New York, we can still count on March bringing weather that keeps us indoors. Here are some projects that can help you keep the kids happy on those bad weather days!

As winter winds down, we all find ourselves eager to jump into spring’s sunshine and warmer weather. If you and your kids are antsy for the new season you can try these fun ways to shake off the last days of winter (even if it’s still a little chilly!)

Messy Time

This isn’t as crazy as it sounds, as long as you set some ground rules. Set aside a time each day or week when the whole family has fun being messy. The trick to making it work is to be clear about when and where it happens.

For example, you can have messy time on school nights from 7-8 pm. The guidelines are that it happens on the kitchen floor (or another agreed-upon place) and everyone helps clean up so it’s all put away by the end time. If people move to a different space or don’t help clean up, messy time ends.

Ideas for Messy Time: Painting is a great activity for messy time. Finger painting is especially fun (even for big kids!). You can also paint things like rocks to take outside and hide for people to find as a spring surprise when all the snow finally melts. Homemade playdough is fun, too. Look online for easy recipes you can make at home with simple ingredients. Some are even edible!

Key to Success: Get messy with your kids! Part of what makes this great is when parents join in on the messy fun!

Secret Spring Fairy

One thing kids love is being in on a secret! Pair that with some random acts of

Your Family’s Routine for Shake Up

— by Rebecca Hastings

kindness and everyone wins. Challenge them to do fun, kind things for people without being found out. It’s a great way to build some excitement before the new season begins.

Ideas for Secret Spring Fairy: Make someone a special treat and leave it for them on their pillow. Another fun idea is to do something for someone, like pack their lunch or walk the dog, and leave a little note that says From Your Secret Spring Fairy. Kids can also try things for strangers, like leaving encouraging notes or a picture they’ve colored, in fun places like a park bench or a library book.

Key to Success: Give them ideas. It can be hard for kids to think of ideas at first, so spend a few minutes looking up fun ideas for random acts of kindness together. You can even make a list and hang it up so everyone can see it.

Hibernation Celebration

Before winter is fully over, set aside time to have a hibernation celebration. A Saturday afternoon is perfect for this. You can take time as a family to do things that remind you of what it would be like to hibernate for winter. Remember hibernation (for people) is all about being cozy at home.

Ideas for a Hibernation Celebration: Start by setting aside family time for your celebration. Make sure everyone is home and knows it isn’t a time to get things done. No throwing in the laundry. No sending an email. Simply a time to be cozy together.

Try things like reading books (bonus points for picture books about hibernation like Animals in Winter by Henrietta Bancroft and Richard G. Van Gelder or Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson). Use lots of pillows and blankets to be comfy. Close the curtains to feel like a bear in a cave for a long winter’s nap.

Hot chocolate and a yummy treat like homemade bread or cookies are a delicious addition. And if everyone has full tummies and sleepy eyes, a family nap is the perfect way to end a hibernation celebration.

Key to Success: Put everything else out of your mind. Don’t worry about the to-do list. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb or turn it off. Simply enjoy time to be cozy together.

Sunlight Celebration

If a hibernation celebration is all about being cozy, a sunlight celebration is all about the light! With more daylight, you can take every opportunity to celebrate the sunshine (even if it’s still chilly outside.)

Ideas for a Sunlight Celebration: Start by opening the blinds to let as much light in as possible. Put on some fun music; Here Comes the Sun is a great song for this! Try a simple suncatcher craft to hang on the windows. You can do this with tissue paper and tape or try a kid’s suncatcher craft kit that uses markers, paint, or even gems. Add a tall glass of bright orange juice with a snack.

Key to Success: Put your beautiful crafts on display! Hang up the suncatchers in the windows to celebrate the sunshine.

Rebecca Hastings is a former elementary teacher who traded the classroom for writing when she stayed home with her three children. Passionate about authenticity, faith, and family, you can find her at RebeccaHastings.net and on Amazon. In real life, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wherever there is chocolate.

by Rebecca Hastings

If Grandparents Live Close By

Proximity and availability give grandparents that live close by unique opportunities that not everyone has. Some things to try:

Creative and Fun Ways for Kids & Grandparents to Connect

There is something special about the relationship between kids and their grandparents. I still remember pulling up to McDonald’s with my grandfather. He would take his leather change purse out of his pocket and count exact change for his cup of coffee. He always knew exactly how much it would be.

Our trips weren’t fancy. It wasn’t expensive. Sometimes I didn’t even get anything. It didn’t take a long time. Just a ride to get his coffee. But it was something we did together. And that is what made it special.

If you want your children to feel connected to their grandparents, you can find simple things that your children will remember. Whether they live close to their grandparents or far away, you can foster the relationship and connection you want with them.

What’s the Secret?

The number one thing you can do to foster a connection between your kids and their grandparents is to be intentional. Fostering a close relationship between the generations requires consistent choices to connect. You can’t do one thing and expect a lifelong connection

filled with fond memories. When you are intentional about creating opportunities for your kids and parents to engage with one another, you help them create a bond.

A Word of Advice

A child’s relationship with their grandparent is supposed to look different than their relationship with their parents. While it is important for grandparents to respect how parents raise their kids, parents also need to remember that it’s okay for grandparents to do things differently than they would.

Part of the fun of a relationship with grandparents is that they are not the parent. They can give an extra cookie or read an extra book before bed. I still remember the cookie tin that was never off limits in my grandma’s kitchen.

As long as the grandparents are not doing anything that conflicts with important boundaries parents set for their children, it is part of how grandparents and grandkids create their own fun relationship.

Here are some creative and simple ways for your child and their grandparents to create a special connection.

♥ A weekly date: Set up a weekly time for the child to spend with their grandparent. This could be just a visit to their house or a time to go out together. Make it the same every week so it becomes part of the normal routine instead of something that gets overlooked. Even having a grandparent pick your child up from school one day each week helps them connect.

♥ Sleepovers: A sleepover is a great way to spend long blocks of time together if everyone feels comfortable with the idea. It allows fun things like bedtime stories, staying up late, and having breakfast together in the morning. Plus, it is a good way for kids to get comfortable with sleepover experiences with a trusted family member.

♥ Invite grandparents to activities: Grandparents often love attending kids’ activities like sporting events and school plays. Be sure to invite them to come. Make sure they know when they are so they can plan ahead.

♥ Little traditions: Create small traditions between your kids and their grandparents. Like the McDonald’s trips with my grandfather, even simple things like getting a donut create fond memories over time. Try simple things like going to a favorite store, helping with projects, or making a favorite recipe. Kids love to help taste-test baked goods!

If Grandparents Live Far Away

It may seem challenging to connect with grandparents when they live far away, but there are great ways to bridge the distance, especially with technology.

Storytime: Use apps like Zoom or FaceTime to have grandparents read their grandchildren a story. It’s a fun way for kids to hear stories their grandparents love. You can even encourage your child to read a story to their grandparent and sneak in some reading practice! It’s especially fun if both your child and the grandparent have a copy of the book to look at during their story time.

♥ A weekly call: It may not sound glamorous, but setting up a time for a weekly call helps them feel connected regularly. During the week you can encourage your child to write down things to share with their grandparents so they’re ready with something to talk about. You can also teach them some questions to ask their grandparent. They can ask about the weather where they are, ask about something funny that happened, or find out what they did during the week.

♥ Long-distance dates: With a little planning, grandparents can still enjoy dates with their grandkids. If they send along a gift card for ice cream, they can set up a time when they each go to their local ice cream shop and talk on the phone or FaceTime while they enjoy their treat.

♥ Make something together: Find a family recipe and (with a little help) have your child make it. They can make it while on Zoom with their grandparent or simply call them and tell them about it.

♥ Start a collection: Find a common interest like collecting stamps or special rocks. They can each start a collection and share exciting finds on the phone or the next time they visit.

Special Tips for Tweens & Teens

Staying connected during the tween and teen years can be hard for all of us. Finding little ways to connect with their grandparents is special for their grandparents and for them.

♥ Send a text: Encourage kids to send their grandparents a text sharing about how they did in a game or on a test.

♥ Teach grandparents to text or connect on social media: It may sound silly, but it’s where kids spend their time. Helping grandparents meet kids where they are fosters more connection.

♥ Send a photo: Grandparents love photos. Use a digital frame that allows your teen to send their photos right from their phone. It’s a great surprise for grandparents to see a new picture pop up.

♥ Ask for help with rides: One of the best times I can get my teens to talk is in the car. Asking a grandparent to help with rides is a good way to give them time to connect without it feeling like too much for your child.

Fostering a close relationship between your child and their grandparents is a gift for everyone that lasts far beyond the childhood years. As you make consistent choices for connection, you will have a front-row seat to watching that special relationship grow.

3 Things Frog & Toad Were Right About

— by Rebecca Hastings

friend, Frog, who tries to get it for him, and when that proves impossible, he just sits with Toad. He is the exact friend Toad needs. He doesn’t try to change Toad. He is just there with his friend.

Istill remember sitting on the floor next to the cubbies in my classroom. It was silent reading time which was my favorite part of the day. The book (and the words) were perfectly sized for my elementary hands. Little did I know the lessons were bigger.

Do you remember the books by Arnold Lobel all about Frog and Toad? They were fairly plain and didn’t stand out. Muted green, brown, and gray artwork filled the page. It was so plain one could wonder how it was possibly interesting. But sometimes the simplest things are the most beautiful. (Sounds like something I picked up from Frog and Toad.)

Anyone who learned to read in the eighties and even the nineties likely saw these simple stories. Maybe they were opened on a school desk to decode words or maybe, like me, they were trea-

sured in quiet corners. I loved these stories. The simplicity, the friendship, the lessons.

It turns out these fairly plain amphibians were right about a lot of things. Here are a few of my favorite lessons I still remember today:

Lesson 1:

Hold your list loosely and be the person your friend deserves.

I love lists. They create order in the world that sometimes feels too chaotic for my Type A brain. I’m not always good at completing lists, but they make me happy just the same. The problem comes when I hold on too tight.

Toad gets it. He wrote a list of his own. He even included basic things just so he could have the pleasure of check ing them off. Waking up, going to sleep, and all the things in between made his list. Even things like eating meals and naps and time with his friend.

I like his lists. And he did, too. Until a breeze came. What happens when the list gets blown away in the wind of the day?

I often wonder about that very thing.

The best part about Toad losing his list is what happens next. He has a

We all need a friend like that. A friend that will be with us when life is giving us a beating when it doesn’t make any sense, and the only thing we can think to do is sit with our heads in our hands. Toad had that kind of friend in Frog. I want friends like that in my life, too. I’m learning that the best way to find one is to be one.

Lesson 2: Sometimes we have to wait in life. Books, music, and sleep make waiting so much easier.

In another story, we see Frog’s great friendship traits again. When Toad plants a garden, he wants instant results.

I can relate.

And it’s not even about the garden. It’s about everything I do. When I discipline my kids, I want them to learn and move on. When I need to make dinner, I want to whip it up, clean it up, and move on. Sometimes I lack the patience life requires.

When Toad is trying to help his seeds grow, he does three things: reads, sings, and sleeps. We know that there is no magic formula to grow a garden, but sometimes in life, we need to pass the time. And when we are stressed and anxious, pushing for something to happen that is simply not ready, we would do well to read, sing, and sleep.

Even the hardest things look a lot better after we do.

Lesson 3:

Enjoy the cookies with a friend.

My favorite story has nothing to do with waiting or lists. It’s all about cookies. When Frog and Toad find themselves unable to stop eating cookies, they work together to develop willpower.

Each step of the way, they put an obstacle between them and the beloved cookies. And each time they find a way through the obstacle to eating yet another cookie.

I’ve eaten many a cookie with my best friend. We could find other things to do. We could avoid the cookies. We could still be friends without the cookies. But the truth is, friendship can be much more delicious with them.

Share Frog and Toad

Your little ones may be surprised at the simple artwork and muted colors, but share the stories of Frog and Toad and see what happens. Pick up a copy of Frog and Toad today to discover with your little one, and for yourself.

PICK OF THE LITERATURE

— by Dr. Donna Phillips

March is the month of green! Green for St Patrick’s Day! Green for the Spring Equinox! Green for Holi — the Spring Hindu festival of colors! Green for the International Day of Forests! Green for Earth Hour Day! Green for National Vietnam Veterans Day. Green for the Jade birthstone! Even green for asparagus and kiwi, the veggie and fruit of the month! Green! Green! Green! While we are at it, how about some green books! Here are some of my new favorites for the month!

For the young naturalist and those just beginning to understand mathematics, One Tiny Treefrog: A Countdown to Survival (Candlewick Press, Somerville, 2022, $18.99), written by Tony Piedra and illustrated by Mackenzie Joy, is a wonderful introduction to the life cycle of a frog and the richness of the Costa Rican jungle. Simply written and beautifully illustrated from a variety of perspectives and with many shades of green, this book follows five

tiny tadpoles as they grow from egg to treefrog. One by one, they disappear from the pages as we learn about the life and danger that surrounds them, until the last one turns into a frog just in time to leap to safety on a low hanging branch. There is much to see and learn if one looks closely, and the resources at the end of the book turn this into a wonderful science resource for

Alpine Meadow. Explore the floor of the Rain Forest. Even a Desert Oasis has teeming life! Would you believe an Oak Tree is a habitat for all kinds of fauna? Meet what lives in a Dry Cave in Nevada or what you will find in a Brazil Nut Tree. There is even secret life in the Canyon Rim of the Grand Canyon! This is a wonderful way to introduce the young to the marvels of nature and our seen in unseen world.

the whole family.

With more than 70 flaps to open, Hidden Habitats Earth (Big Picture Press/Candlewick Press, Somerville, 2022, $18.99), written and illustrated by Lara Hawthorne, is a sturdy board book that is just right for exploring the hidden secrets of the habitats on our planet. Each full-page spread is covered with details, descriptions, and secret flaps that open to reveal the details hidden beneath them. See what is beneath the leaf life of a North American forest. Meet the animals that live in an

What

Do

you See When You

Look at a Tree? (Templar Books/ Candlewick Press, Somerville, 2022, $18.99), written and illustrated Emma Carlisle, will make you look at trees in a whole new way. This sensitive and thoughtful book gives us many different things to think about, to look for, and to consider when we see a tree. The whimsical illustrations invite us to visit them and stay. In a way, it humanizes the trees and helps us look at the world from their perspective. In this book, we learn to communicate with them and how to be more like them. We have more in common than we realize!

The Poem Forest (Candlewick Press, Somerville, 2022, $18.99), written by Carrie Fountain and illustrated by Chris Turnham, is the story of Poet Laurate W. S. Merwin and the nature conservancy he created. Looking for a peaceful and inspiring place away

from the city to write his poetry and get back to nature, Merwin bought a plot of land in Hawaii that had been stripped of nutrients and growing potential. Over the years as he wrote, he planted palm trees in the hope that it would bring this land back to life. Once others became aware of his efforts, they began to donate palm trees from all over the world. Living simply and sustainably, he slowly brought the land back to life and, in the process, planted over 3,000 trees. In 2010, he and his wife donated the land to create the Merwin Conservancy. Over his lifetime, Merwin won two Pulitzer Prizes and the National Book award, and created one of the most comprehensive palm forests in the world.

It all starts with awareness and paying attention to nature and the cycles of the season. Begin small by making daily contributions to make a difference. Whether by words or deeds, eventually they will build over the years to create something significant. We never know how what we do today can impact the future… but all life on our planet depends on it.

Soren Kierkegaard

Dr. Donna Phillips is an associate professor in the College of Education at Niagara University where her specialty is literacy and children’s literature. She lives on Grand Island, NY, and is the mother of two adult children and the grandmother of one.

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

Special Advertising Section

HORSE CAMP at Skibbereen Farm

June through August • 9am-1pm

• Learn basic riding skills

• Safety rules around horses

• Horse care • Saddlery

• Basic first aid

Cost: $375/Session

Registration Form Online

Skibbereen Farm

5142 Bussendorfer Road • Orchard Park, NY 14127 www.skibbereenfarm.com • 648-1908

Award Winning Academy of Theatre Arts

BREAK CAMPS WINTER & SPRING

Turn your next school break into something special! As part of our NEW Break Camps, you’ll spend your week off acting, singing, and dancing your way into a new show, culminating with a live performance onstage!

Broadway at ATA: July 10th – 21st

Monday – Friday - 9:00am – 4:00pm

$450 *$425 If Paid In Full by March 1st

You don’t want to miss this fun and exciting program here at ATA This camp, strictly for older theatre performers, will consist of intensive voice, theatre and dance workshops. We also put a focus on public speaking, team building and problem solving during this camp; skills the students can use throughout their lives! Students will learn what it takes to put on a musical not only on stage but off stage as well. Students will audition and be cast in the full musical production of “ROCK OF AGES”!

Onstage at ATA: July 24th – August 4th

Monday – Friday - 9:00am – 4:00pm

$450 *$425 If Paid In Full by March 1st

This camp, for our middle school students, will consist of voice, theatre and dance workshops. We also put a focus on public speaking, team building and problem solving during this camp; skills the students can use throughout their lives! Throughout the two weeks students will also create their own musical as a team from the set, costumes, and musical numbers. Students will learn what it takes to put on a musical not only on stage but off stage as well. Students will audition and be cast in the full musical production of “ROCK OF AGES YOUTH EDITION

Register by March 1st & Save!

Catch A Rising Star: July 24th – 28th - August

7th – 11th - August 14th – 18th - August 21st – 25th

Monday-Friday - 9:00am-3:00pm

$250 *$225 If Paid In Full by March 1st

This popular one-week camp will allow you to be part of a fun-filled production of “SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK LIVE”. Join us for a week of singing, dancing and making new friends! In just one short week, students will learn lines, musical numbers and important team building skills. During this one week, we place an emphasis on public speaking and being comfortable stepping out of your comfort zone!

Broadway Babies: August 7th – 11th

Monday-Friday - 9:00am-12:00pm (snack provided)

$155

Students work on public speaking and confidence on stage through dramatic play and storytelling. At the end of the week students put on a dramatic reading of a story book!

Summer on the Silver Screen: July 24th – August 3rd

Monday-Thursday - 3:00pm-7:00pm

$305

Our “Summer on the Silver Screen” camp takes students behind the scenes of their very own film! During this two-week intensive camp, campers will learn the basics of screenwriting, cinematography, and film editing, all while starring in their own movie scenes on the big screen.

Behind the Scenes: July 17th – 21st

Monday-Friday - 9:00am-1:00pm

$175

Learn about the magic that happens onstage long before the curtain goes up as part of our Behind-The-Scenes Summer Workshop! In this one week intensive summer camp, students will learn the art of backstage production design. From creating props to designing sets to learning the ins and outs of sound and light production campers learn new skills daily over the course of this exciting camp workshop.

It’s Not Too Early To Be Thinking About Summer Camp!

While we may still be stuck inside while March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb, it’s not too early to begin thinking about available options to keep your kids busy this summer.

While camp may be a necessity for working parents who need to make sure their child is cared for when school is no longer in session, it’s actually a wonderful opportunity for children to learn life skills, expand their world, make new discoveries, and establish new friendships. It also helps kids develop a sense of independence and self-confidence, as well as the ability to work with others as a team.

Camp is a natural extension of the classroom — today’s camps offer many traditional activities such as swimming and arts and crafts, but there are many creative and exciting opportunities to explore specific areas such as learning a foreign language, performing in a theater production, riding a horse, or learning to dance.

In today’s techno-oriented world, summer camp gets them away from the screen and outdoors to interact with the natural world. Sports and physical activities get kids moving — literally — toward increased fitness.

First and foremost, when choosing a camp, take your child’s needs and interests into account. Just as no two children are alike, camp environments, activities, and personnel can differ widely, so be sure to ask plenty of questions when seeking the ideal camp situation for your child this summer.

Some important questions to ask are:

1) How does the camp recruit its staff? What type of training do the counselors have? How old are they? Are background checks done? Do they have first aid training?

2) What is the ratio of counselors to campers? Day camp guidelines call for 1:8 for children ages 6-8; 1:10 for children ages 9-14; and 1:12 for ages 15-18.

3) Are campers grouped by age, activity, or both?

4) What does a typical daily schedule look like?

5) Is transportation available? What is the cost?

6) What about extended care before and after camp? What is the cost?

7) Does the camp provide lunch or must campers bring their lunch?

8) Does camp tuition include the full range or activities or are their extra fees for field trips?

8) Ask about return rates. How many staff members return each year? How many campers return? Ask for references — talk to some parents who have recently sent their children to the camp.

Visit the American Camping Association’s website at www. acacamps.org for more complete parent checklists to help you determine if your child is ready for a summer camp experience and the questions to ask when “interviewing” a camp to see if it’s a good fit for your child and your family.

THE SANDWICH GENERATION

Squeezed Between Caring For Your Children & Your Aging Parents

For as long as there have been families, people have always had to find ways to take care of their aging relatives. In generations past, it was common for extended families to live in the same town, perhaps just a few blocks from one another. Everyone was able to help out when parents or grandparents needed care.

Things are different today. In our highly mobile society, it is less common for children to remain in the town where they grew up. Rather than a large extended family living in close proximity, we often find family members scattered across the country, making a network of family support much more difficult.

Add to this factor the trend for today’s couples to wait longer to have children and you can begin to see why the term “Sandwich Generation” was coined in reference to people who are still caring for their children while also bearing the responsibilities involved in caring for their aging parents.

In 1972, the average age of a woman in the United States having her first baby was 22 years. Today, the average age of first-time mothers is 26, and the average for first-time fathers is 31. These stats vary from state to state; rural areas versus

cities.

Not included in these statistics are those who have a child but don’t actually marry. The average age for marriage in the U.S. in 2020 was 31 for females, while males married at age 33.

And, since 2000, 46 states and Washington, DC have experienced a rise in first-birth rates for women over age 35. According to the Pew Research Center, motherhood for college-educated women doesn’t start until women reach some level of career success in their thirties, with fully one-fifth not becoming mothers until they were at least 35 years old.

So, what does this have to do with eldercare, you ask?

The resulting trend in delayed marriage and childbirth has given rise to new generations of adults who will be caught in the squeeze between the needs of their growing children and their increasingly frail parents. And those parents are now living longer — the fastest growing segment of the U.S. population is people over 85 years of age. That means elderly parents will need assistance over a longer period of time than ever before.

There are actually new designations for different categories of the elderly.

The dramatic increase in the number of people reaching age 65, coupled with their increased life expectancy, has expanded the classification into the following groups:

• The “Young Old” Ages 65-74

• The “Old” Ages 74-84

• The “Oldest Old” Ages 85+

WNY Family’s very first annual ElderCare Guide appeared 20 years ago as a result of what I was experiencing as a result of my own parents’ needs, and they lived 500 miles away. My father’s health declined over a period of 7 years and my mother, 8 years younger than my father, was his primary caregiver.

My brother, who is my only sibling, lived downstairs from my parents, and helped tremendously with doctors’ appointments, picking up prescriptions, carrying in groceries, and managing all the household chores and repairs that used to be done by my father.

My mother had promised my father that she would never put him in a nursing home — something professional advisers say never to do — and she managed to fulfill her promise, but at the expense of her own health.

After my father’s death at age 88 in 2007, after 4 years of quite ill health, my mom only had two reasonably good years before her own health began to seriously deteriorate. She passed away under Hospice Care in 2013 at age 86. Between the two of them, thirteen years of caregiving were involved.

Living a day’s drive away, during those years I always had a bag packed and ready to go on a moment’s notice for situations when one or the other of them needed care after hospitalization. I was in charge of deciphering and filling out any necessary medical paperwork and communicating with doctors, home care aides, visiting nurses, etc. On visits home, I de-cluttered and re-organized kitchen cupboards and bedroom closets so my mother, who was bent over from spinal stenosis pain, could reach things more easily. After a fall, I bought my father a rollator to help him walk — and it sat in a corner of the living room for 6 months until he finally gave in and used it.

continued on page 40

— by Michele Miller

Seeking Balance in the Sandwich Generation: 10 Ways to Defeat Caregiver Stress

Two years ago, Sarah Forrest’s mother called to say that her father was having health problems. The diagnosis was Alzheimer’s. Sarah realized that her father needed long-term care. She understood that her mother’s health prevented her from providing that care. Sarah and her sister decided that she would be the primary caregiver.

Sometimes a person becomes a caregiver suddenly, without advance notice. A parent has a stroke, a wife is diagnosed with cancer, a car accident injures a son. In other instances, the caregiving role emerges slowly. An adult child gradually realizes Mom is more forgetful or more fragile physically. He slowly starts calling her more often and taking on household or administrative tasks to help out. As time passes and caregiver responsibilities increase in number, eventually, the son realizes that his mother can no longer live on her own safely.

Whether a person becomes a caregiver suddenly or gradually, it is usually without planning. Caregivers squeeze additional tasks into an already busy life packed with the responsibilities of children, spouse, work, and daily chores. Many caregivers take on this new role without letting go of anything else and, predictably, end up exhausted and burnt out.

Being a caregiver entails many adjustments in the lives of both the caregiver and the care receiver. During the initial stages, when the caregiver reorients his schedule and searches for resources, he usually doesn’t stop to take his health and well-being into consideration. Caregivers go on automatic pilot and do and do and do. Finding a balance between the caregiving role and the rest of life is essential to be one’s best as a caregiver and for one’s own health’s sake. Balance is vital to stay healthy on all levels.

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance,” says best-selling author and professional speaker on human potential, Brian Tracy.

Sarah learned that by acting in a caring and loving way towards herself, she was then able to care for her aging mother and “be” with her wholeheartedly, “not with a ‘half-hearted’ spirit, burdened by my exhaustion and depletion as I tried to get everything done.” The following ten suggestions will help you achieve balance in caregiving with the rest of your life and help prevent caregiver stress.

1) Take time out for your own stress management by caring for your physical self. Remember: taking care of yourself is a gift to your loved one; it will help you be a better caregiver. A healthy diet and regular exercise help you to manage stress more effectively. Regardless of how busy you are, do not skip meals or allow yourself to become less active. Do not neglect routine doctor appointments and always address health issues immediately. Get enough rest so you can be renewed in your energy to continue. Recognize when you are too tired to do something, and learn to put off non-essentials in favor of rest or other self-care.

2) To the extent possible, you and your care receiver can make decisions jointly to respect both critical issues in her life and your own needs and limits. Illness often forces a person to accept losses in abilities and lifestyle. Allowing her to hold on to as much input and as many life choices as possible helps balance out this lifestyle loss. Evaluating your priorities may also lead to a discussion of finding alternative ways to get her needs met when you are unable to do something. Joint prioritizing also requires the ability to say, “No, I can’t” with love.

3) Ask for help. You will not always be able to do all that your ill loved one would like. Many caregivers experience high levels of stress and anxiety, and more than 72% of caregivers will refuse any help from outsiders. Many people think asking for help is a sign of weakness, but that isn’t so. Asking for help is a sign of strength because it acknowledges the difficulty of the situation at hand. It is a sign of strength because it requires putting pride aside and acting in the best interest of your loved one and yourself. Consider getting help with housework and/or yard work — either paid or unpaid. Help with household chores can help make a home a cleaner refuge for recovering and providing calmer surroundings for both the caregiver and care receiver. Help with yard work can transform a backyard into a vacation destination to eat meals on a deck, enjoy various birds, play cards, or do artwork.

4) Be prepared: learn about the condition of your loved one, have the proper equipment. Ask questions of the health care professionals involved and keep asking until you understand. Health professionals are often rushed, but you have every right to understand what is going on. The first step toward advocating for your loved one is to realize that you are a family caregiver in addition to being a wife, a mother or dad, a daughter or son, a sister, brother, friend, niece, etc. It is essential to acknowledge your role as a family caregiver because that relationship bonds you with the millions of other family caregivers in America who share many of the same worries and concerns that you have. Acknowledging that you are part of a group, an extensive group, helps provide the strength and the conviction that you often need to speak up for your loved one and yourself.

5) Nest! Everyone, especially people who are recovering from illness or injury and their caregiver, needs a comfy chair — a place to relax and rejuvenate.

Make a comfortable nest for your loved one and yourself by adding afghans, pillows, fresh flowers, candles, books, and great music to your comfy chair area. Creating this chair area is important to do both at your home and at the hospital, should there be an extended stay there.

6) Go outside every day and watch the rain or sit in the sunshine. Even 10 or 15 minutes daily helps. Breathe fresh air several times a day.

7) Continue to give, suggests Amy Johnson, a caregiver for her husband who has cancer. While she has learned through her husband Paul’s illness to receive the gifts of help, encouragement, prayer, and love from other people, she and Paul continue to enjoy giving as part of their marriage. They enjoy praying for other people, talking to other patients in the waiting rooms, and encouraging others as much as possible through conversations both in person, in email, and through old-fashioned snail mail. “Giving keeps us feeling emotionally and spiritually full and is always worth the effort,” says Johnson.

8) Talk to someone else about your caregiving stresses and how you are doing, besides the person for whom you are caring. It should be someone who is a good listener and non-judgmental. Keep up with your social contacts, or reach out for new meaningful ones, and do not let yourself become isolated.

9) Take time for your passions and interests; this is not selfish; it is selfpreservation! If you do not know what they are, take time to discover them, and then carve out time in your week to do them. It would be best if you found ways to replenish your emotional energy and have a life outside your caregiving role. This role will allow you to keep up with this responsibility in the long run.

10) Keep a vision for the future. None of us comes to this world to stay here. But we also know that we can “grow until we go,” and we should. A scripture that comes to mind is Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Make plans for your future.

Pathways For carEgivErs

A collaboration between Cradle Beach, Harmonia Collaborative Care, Lisa Rood Consultant and Exhale, The Family Caregiver Initiative

programming. Cradle Beach, Inc., Harmonia Collaborative Care and Lisa Rood, a Senior Program Consultant, have collaborated to offer monthly, four-hour, respite sessions that will allow family caregivers to remain at Cradle Beach’s relaxing campus situated on 66-acres of lakefront property or to leave campus for time to themselves.

In 2020, the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP reported nearly one in five Americans identify as an unpaid caregiver to a loved one. 21% reported their own health as fair or poor, a decrease from merely five years earlier.

In response to a growing need for caregiver support, Pathways for Caregivers was founded. It is the first resource of its kind in Western New York to focus on caregiver needs and respite, while simultaneously creating a safe space for aging loved ones to receive

Pathways for Caregivers offers family caregivers a break from the daily tasks of caring for their aging loved ones. During each respite, a one-hour support group facilitated by Harmonia Collaborative Care, a licensed mental health provider, will be offered to family caregivers as an opportunity to connect with others. The program aims to give caregivers peace of mind and rejuvenation.

Pathways for Caregivers is offered at no cost. Families interested in participating may call 716-549-6307 ext. 203 or

visit www.CradleBeach.org/pathways. Pathways for Caregivers is an Exhale Family Caregiver Initiative. Exhale is funded by the Ralph C. Wilson, Jr. Foundation, Health Foundation for Western & Central New York, Ann Arbor Area Community Foundation, and managed by The Philanthropic Initiative.

Lisa Rood Consultant

8038 Old Lakeshore Road Angola, NY 14006 716-549-6307

Extension 203

www.CradleBeach.org/pathways

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Important Documents

EVERYONE Should Organize, Regardless of Age

When your elderly family member unexpectedly winds up in the hospital for a month and there’s no way to pay her bills or even know what bills are due, or you suddenly find that you need several years of bank statements and records of other assets to apply for Medicaid, the task will be much easier if someone has taken the time to find and organize the following important documents or duplicate copies.

Purchase a plastic file box with hanging file folder dividers and use this as your “command center.” Even if your elderly family member is perfectly healthy, this is a good project to work

on together. From a purely practical standpoint, these papers will be needed eventually, and getting them in order is a smart thing to do. (While you’re at it, think about how your own important papers are organized. What would happen if you were in an accident and incapacitated for any length of time? Perhaps it’s time for you to do a bit of organizing as well!)

If your parent is willing and able, just buy them the supplies to get them started and give them control over getting the job done. Just ask them to let you know where they keep the box so that, in case of emergency, you will know where to find it.

Personal Records

• Names and phone numbers of religious contacts

• Memberships in groups and awards received

• Names and phone numbers of close friends, relatives, doctors, lawyers, and financial advisors

• Health insurance card(s) and benefits documentation

• Medications taken regularly (be sure to update this regularly)

• Location of living will/advance directive

Serving Northern Erie and Niagara counties

• Health care proxy

• Health care power of attorney

• Last will & testament

• Pre-arranged funeral information, if any

• Deed to a pre-purchased cemetery gravesite

• In this digital age, User IDs and Passwords to important online accounts; security password for their computer or cell phone.

Financial Records

• Sources of income and assets (pension from your employer, IRAs, 401(k)s, interest, etc.)

• Social Security and Medicare/ Medicaid statements/information

• Insurance information (life, health, long-term care, home, car) with policy numbers and agents’ names and phone numbers

• Names of your banks and account numbers (checking, savings, credit union)

• Investment income (stocks, bonds, property) and stockbrokers’ names and phone numbers

• Copy of most recent income tax return

• Liabilities, including property tax — what is owed, to whom, and when payments are due

• Mortgages and debts — how and when they are paid

• Deeds for any properties owned

• Vehicle titles and registrations

• Credit and debit card names and account numbers

• Location of safe deposit box and key

Advice for Caregivers Managing Legal, Financial & Medical Decisions

One of the toughest things about caregiving is the need to become authorized to act on another person’s behalf. This requires both preparation and understanding of the logistics required to be established as a designated caregiver. Since people are living longer, more senior children are becoming caregivers for their parents or those who had similar roles in their life.

There are several logistics to understand when taking on the role as caregiver — three key areas are legal, financial, and medical:

1) Legal Considerations for Caregivers

Lawyers want you to have medical and financial powers of attorney for good reason. These powers are effective while a loved one is competent and remain in effect if they become incapacitated. When these documents are prepared and signed, have an informed conversation with the attorney or paralegal who is assisting you. Ask questions and find out what specific authorities the

document grants you and what powers it does not. Find out what you should do if it needs to be invoked or legitimized. Learn if the attorney(s) can be reached in an emergency situation and if a doctor needs to certify incapacitation.

Knowing where the papers need to be filed, the correct state (if the caregiver and the person receiving care are in different states), and how soon they are processed are important questions, too.

A Power of Attorney can be granted to more than one person on behalf of the person receiving assistance. The powers can be limited or all encompassing. An example of typical limited powers would be for medical decisions or specific financial access or control. Each state has specific laws regarding the creation, use, and limitations of a Power of Attorney document. People who live in more than one state or who travel frequently should consider establishing valid documents in multiple states.

If the person receiving care becomes incapacitated, a valid durable power of attorney can prevent many issues. The most common problem with an invalid

Power of Attorney is the caregiver(s) will require a court to grant a conservatorship to gain the control needed to provide appropriate care.

Many third parties (like banks) are hesitant to accept financial Power of Attorney documents because they may be liable if it is illegitimate. They typically need time to ensure the validity of the document and may wish to consult with the attorney who prepared it. In some cases, the third party may also require an affidavit (a sworn written statement) that states you are acting legally, which will relieve them of any liability issues. As long as you are acting in the best interest of the person you are representing and within your granted authority, there should be no problems other than the slow and bureaucratic nature of this process.

A “springing power of attorney” is invoked only when certain conditions specified by your loved one are met (typically if they become mentally incompetent or disabled). One of the problems with this type of document is that it is not always clear when one can invoke a Power of Attorney, and the process for declaring someone incompetent varies from state to state.

2) Financial Considerations for Caregivers

If you are looking to help a Social Security beneficiary manage their benefits, it is important to know that the Social Security Administration does not recognize a power of attorney designation. In this case, the caregiver or family member must apply to become their family member’s representative payee. While that may be the authorization some people are seeking, it is worth noting that this title involves a great deal of responsibility. This position requires significant record keeping of all the beneficiary’s benefits and how they are used. If you are trying to help a family member with social security applications, claims or appeals, you will need to apply to be their authorized representative.

As a caregiver, there are tax benefits that may apply. It is advisable to discuss

Source: National Council on Aging

tax implications and benefits with a tax adviser to understand the complicated and often changing tax laws that govern caregiving. A tax advisor can help to avoid errors on tax returns that could bring time-consuming and costly problems in the future.

There are three tax deductions available to a senior caregiver of parents:

• Claiming an adult-dependent exemption

An adult-dependent exemption can be claimed on a tax return if the dependent is related to the filer directly or through marriage — but does not have to live in the same home as the caregiver. (An exception is a foster parent, who must reside in the same home for a minimum of one year.) The IRS will annually set a gross income level that cannot be exceeded by the adult-dependent. These limits do not include Social Security. The assistance given by you to the adult-dependent must be at least 50.01% — more than half — of their support. If the support limits are shared by family

members (such as siblings supporting a parent) or simply do not meet the more than 50% per tax year criteria, the option to file the parent(s) as a dependent may still exist but only one person may file per dependent. Only the caregiver can file with the IRS, the adult receiving care cannot file as an individual or on a joint spousal return. Reporting an adult dependent on a tax return provides the same tax reduction as reporting a child.

• Dependent care tax credit

A family member may still be claimed as with the dependent care tax credit if another person or service assisted in caring for your parent(s) while you or your spouse worked. Consult the IRS for current limits on eligible care expenses.

• Medical deductions

If itemizing deductions, the adult dependent’s qualifying medical, dental, vision, and insurance costs may be submitted. This may occur even if the adultdependent was not claimed on your tax

form. In 2020, unreimbursed medical expenses exceeding 10% of the adjusted gross income can typically be deducted. Examples of approved deductions include: medications, dental procedures, eyeglasses, medical equipment, diagnostic devices, clinic costs, hearing aids, home modifications, home care services, transportation for appointments, some Medicare costs and premiums, required therapies, and most doctor care.

3) Medical (Care and Insurance) Considerations for Caregivers

By law, hospitals and doctors’ offices must verify you have the proper permission to receive information and/ or make decisions about someone’s health care. A Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) authorization is necessary before a durable power of attorney becomes effective if you want to receive medical information for decision-making and insurance or

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JunipEr GlEn MEMory carE assistEd livinG

Senior Care Requests Rise After Holiday Visits

* Mood. Was a loved one acting different around the holidays? Was he or she less talkative or more emotional?

NewsUSA - For adult children with aging parents, spending time together around the holidays can highlight changes in lifestyle or behavior indicating that a loved one requires assistance. For those who provide senior care, the weeks following the holidays are the busiest, as families seek care for aging loved ones. In fact, there is typically a 42 percent rise in service inquiries from December to March.

Families spending time with aging loved ones should consider these fac tors when deciding if it’s time to seek additional help.

* Physical appearance. Did mom or dad lose a significant amount of weight? Are they keeping up with personal hygiene?

* Social routine. Did an aging relative show a lack of interest in making plans and getting out and about?

* Homelife. During your visit, was their home clean and orderly? Have they fallen behind on bills, refilling medications, or housework?

* Food options. Did your loved ones

have nutritious food at home, or was the refrigerator empty because they can’t make it to the grocery store?

For local senior care assistance, visit Erie County’s Department of Senior Services at https://www3.erie. gov/seniorservices. For many older adults, help with everyday tasks such as meals, activities, housekeeping, and medications can allow them to stay safe and healthy at home. For others who require a higher level of memory care, learn more at www.juniperglenret.com, or call 716-428-5399 Or scan our QR code included.

Lifestyle Tips for Preventing Cognitive Decline as You Age

— by Dr. Chad Larson, NMD, DC, CCN, CSCS

The best way to reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s disease is to take preventative measures aimed at decreasing cognitive decline. Prevention should start early to minimize risk, and a healthful lifestyle geared toward cognitive support is an important component. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common type of dementia, and about 5.8 million people in the U.S. have been diagnosed. It is anticipated that the number of people affected by Alzheimer’s disease will increase to 14 million people (about twice the population of Arizona) by the year 2060. These large numbers are alarming, so it is vital that we recognize that there’s time to reduce the amount of people who will be affected by lowering personal risk. Here are some lifestyle tips for preventing cognitive decline:

Get Quality Sleep

Sleep is essential to your cognitive health. A solid night of sleep allows your

brain to rest and repair itself from the demanding work of the day. During sleep, the brain and body complete essential functions including allowing the brain to store new information, and the body to rid itself of toxic waste, allowing nerve cells to communicate and reorganize in order to repair cells. It has been found that insufficient sleep or disruption to sleep is a contributing factor to cognitive decline and the development of Alzheimer’s disease (https://pubmed. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27325209/). So, if you want to keep your brain in top-notch condition, sleep should be a priority.

Keep an Eye on Your Diet

Of course, diet plays a significant role in preventing cognitive decline. In fact, neurogenesis, the body’s process of forming new neurons in the brain, can be affected by diet. A study (https:// pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29141966/) showed that high-fat (from processed fat

PROCEED WITH CAUTION: Home Screening Tests for Dementia

A number of dementia screening tests have been marketed directly to consumers. None of these tests have been scientifically proven to be accurate. Furthermore, the tests can have false-positive results, meaning that individuals can have results saying they have dementia when in fact they do not. This is extremely unlikely to happen if the individual visits a physician to seek care and potential diagnosis. For these and other reasons, the Alzheimer’s Association believes that home screening tests cannot and should not be used as a substitute for a thorough examination by a skilled doctor. The whole process of assessment and diagnosis should be carried out within the context of an ongoing relationship with a responsible and qualified health care professional.

like corn oil and soybean oil) and highsugar diets negatively affected neurogenesis. Additionally, it was found that healthful diets induced neurogenesis. If the neurons in the brain cannot effectively regenerate, cognitive decline could be the result. A diet that supports proper brain function is key to prevention.

Cultivate a Strong Intestinal Microbiome

Along with diet, a strong intestinal microbiome can help prevent the development of Alzheimer’s disease. A 2020 investigation (https://pubmed. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33074224/) showed that there was an association between gut microbiota and inflammation in the brain, linking the intestinal microbiome to Alzheimer’s disease. Amyloid pathology was linked to short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs) and lipopolysaccharide (LPS) which acted as inflammatory mediators for Alzheimer’s disease. Examining your gut health to check your levels of SCFAs and LPS could help identify if any dietary or probiotic changes should be made to boost prevention. Is there a specific food that triggers your condition? Do you know if you are consuming any cross-reactive foods? Are you better off consuming a food in raw, cooked, or modified form? There are tests that can help you identify these things. The Array 10 – Multiple Food Immune Reactivity Screening tests for early detection of dietary-related triggers of autoimmune reactivity.

Stay Active

Staying active has a variety of benefits, aiding our physical and mental health, and even our brain health. The CDC notes that regular physical activity can improve our ability to think, learn, and problem solve, and can reduce our risk of cognitive decline, including dementia. The CDC cites a study showing that inactivity can double our risk of cognitive decline. In short, keeping up with regular activity, even a simple daily walk can help prevent the development of Alzheimer’s disease.

Challenge Your Brain

As it turns out, you can teach an old dog new tricks, and it can help prevent the development of Alzheimer’s disease. It was found that lifetime intellectual enrichment could delay cognitive decline and is a good preventative measure for reducing the risk of dementia (https:// pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25054282/). This means that people who continue to challenge themselves mentally by learning new information or skills throughout

their lifetime are less likely to experience cognitive decline including Alzheimer’s disease.

Embrace a Healthful Lifestyle

These lifestyle practices are easy to incorporate into our current lifestyle and they could prevent serious cognitive decline as we age. In addition to leading a healthy lifestyle, patients and doctors may want to further investigate the risk for Alzheimer’s disease. Cyrex Laboratories, a clinical laboratory specializing in functional immunology and autoimmunity, has developed a test panel called the Alzheimer’s LINX™ Alzheimer’s-Associated Immune Reactivity. This test can help clinicians identify patients at greater risk and reactivity triggers for developing Alzheimer’s disease or other neurological disorders. It can also be used to identify the initial stages of the neurodegenerative processes and monitor the effectiveness of lifestyle modifications.

The Alzheimer’s LINX is recommended for patients who are exhibiting

early signs of Alzheimer’s disease, have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or who have a history of gastrointestinal disorders or type 2 diabetes. The Alzheimer’s LINX panel can be used as an added tool to identify risk and monitor progress. Doctors will want to look at each patient’s overall lifestyle and make recommendations for changes that could help stop or reduce the pace of cognitive decline.

Dr. Chad Larson, NMD, DC, CCN, CSCS, Advisor and Consultant on Clinical Consulting Team for Cyrex Laboratories. Dr. Larson holds a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine degree from Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine and a Doctor of Chiropractic degree from Southern California University of Health Sciences. He is a Certified Clinical Nutritionist and a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist. He particularly pursues advanced developments in the fields of endocrinology, orthopedics, sports medicine, and environmentallyinduced chronic disease.

Family Choice plan enhances quality of care and life for nursing home and adult care facility residents

If you have a loved one who resides in a participating nursing home or adult care facility in Western New York, Independent Health’s Medicare Family Choice® HMO I-SNP plan can provide them with an extra level of care and support to meet their special needs.

Members enrolled in the Family Choice plan receive regular visits from a nurse practitioner (NP)/physician assistant (PA) who is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Family Choice NP/PA works with the mem-

ber’s physician and facility staff to help identify potential problems before they become serious and minimize unnecessary emergency room visits and hospital stays whenever it’s safe and appropriate. In addition, they keep the member, their family and all other team members informed through ongoing communication.

Family Choice members enjoy no or low out-of-pocket costs. Plus, enrollment for the plan is yearround. To learn more, visit www. independenthealth.com/medicare or call Independent Health at (716) 635-4900 or 1-800-958-4405 (TTY users call 711), October 1 – March 31: Monday – Sunday, 8 a.m. – 8 p.m.; April 1 – September 30: Monday –Friday, 8 a.m. – 8 p.m.

Independent Health is a Medicare Advantage organization with a Medicare contract offering HMO, HMO-SNP, HMOPOS and PPO plans. Enrollment in Independent Health depends on contract renewal. This plan is available to all Medicare eligibles that are entitled to Medicare Part A and enrolled in Part B. Members must reside in a participating facility in Western New York. Members must receive all routine care from participating providers.

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Social Determinants of Health and Alzheimer’s Disease and Related Dementias

Source: CDC.gov

The conditions in places where people are born, live, learn, work, and play are known as social determinants of health (SDOH). These conditions can have a profound effect on a person’s health, including their risk for Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias.

Differences in SDOH contribute to the stark and persistent chronic disease disparities in the United States among racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups.

A growing body of work exists around social and economic factors that may contribute to a person’s health status, including a person’s risk for dementia. Although more work needs to be done to determine the exact relationship between these factors and dementia, here are a few areas that could be considered:

Education

Studies show an association between a higher level of education and better brain health. For example, among adults aged 45 years or older, the proportion experiencing subjective cognitive decline was lowest for college graduates and nearly three times greater for those without a high school diploma. One theory being considered by researchers as to why education levels may affect

the risk of developing dementia has to do with cognitive reserve. Cognitive reserve refers to the level of knowledge and education “banked” in early years that may protect and compensate for a decline in cognitive health in later years.

Access to Health Care

Access to health care affects many facets of a person’s physical and brain health. Consistent access to health care services gives people the opportunity for regular preventive health services and early diagnosis of many health conditions, such as diabetes, heart disease, and dementia. Access can also help prevent hospitalizations through the successful management of chronic health conditions. People with dementia often have one or more other chronic health conditions, and care coordination with providers and family care partners is essential to better care and improves health outcomes.

Built Environment

The built environment is the physical environment around us. It includes the spaces where we live, learn, work, and play — our homes, schools, businesses, streets and sidewalks, open spaces, and the options people have for transportation. Built environments can influence overall community health and

individual behaviors, such as physical activity and healthy eating. Built environments can affect health both positively and negatively. Healthy community design can improve opportunities for exercise, access to services, and community supports — all of which have a positive impact on brain and physical health.

Loneliness and Social Isolation

A number of studies indicate that maintaining strong social connections and keeping mentally active as we age may lower the risk of cognitive decline and dementia. Experts are not certain about the reason for this association, but it may be due to a strengthening of connections between nerve cells in the brain. Although it’s hard to precisely measure social isolation and loneliness, there is strong evidence that many adults aged 50 and older are socially isolated or lonely in ways that put their health at risk. Recent studies found that:

 Social isolation significantly increased a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.

 Social isolation was associated with about a 50% percent increased risk of dementia.

 Poor social relationships were associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.

 Loneliness was associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide.

Alzheimer’s Association

Addresses Wandering by People with Dementia

Arecent local tragedy involving a woman with Alzheimer’s disease who died after leaving her home in Middleport has prompted the Western New York Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association to offer information to help prevent wandering by people with Alzheimer’s or other dementia.

“We want to offer our sincere and deepest sympathies to the family of Diane Harvey, and as people who work every day with those living with dementia and their caregivers, we share in their heartache,” says Andrea Koch, director of education for the WNY Chapter.

It is estimated that 60% of people with dementia will wander and become lost at some point, due to losing their ability to recognize familiar places and faces. If not found within 24 hours, up to half of wandering individuals will suffer serious injury or death. The WNY Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association offers several safety measures to help curb wandering.

“We have allocated funds from our New York State Department of Health grants to offer free enrollment in Medic Alert + Wandering Support, which provides medical ID bracelets for peo-

ple living with dementia,” Koch says. To enroll through the Alzheimer’s Association, a family submits medical information, emergency contact info, and a recent photo to Medic Alert, so that in the event a person wanders, a) they have ID on them even if they’re not carrying a wallet or purse and b) Medic Alert can act as an information hub, sending out all pertinent information to all local first responders.

“The hope is that this will speed up the process of locating the person and ensure that first responders have all pertinent medical info in case there is a medical emergency when the person is found,” Koch says. “We also offer a companion bracelet for caregivers, so, for example, if a caregiver is injured while running a quick errand, first responders will know there is someone living with dementia they need to go check on.”

The WNY Chapter also

can offer free door alarms for families so they will know if someone opens a door unexpectedly.

“Unfortunately, these aren’t foolproof systems, but these tools do offer added layers of protection,” Koch says. “The heartbreaking truth is that wandering can happen unexpectedly and with little warning. In our unforgiving WNY winters, families and first responders may need every tool at their disposal to avoid a tragedy like the one we saw yesterday. Our chapter has taken these added steps to provide resources locally in the hope we can prevent this whenever possible.”

The Alzheimer’s Association also offers the following tips to help families prevent their loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia from wandering:

● Identify the time of day the person is most likely to wander. Plan things to do during this time including exercise as it may help reduce anxiety, agitation, and restlessness.

● Create a daily plan. Involve the person in daily activities, such as folding laundry or preparing dinner.

● Reassure the person if he or she feels lost, abandoned, or disoriented.

● Consider using a GPS device. If the person is still safely driving, this can help if they get lost.

● Remove access to car keys. If the person is no longer driving, they may forget that they no longer drive.

● Avoid busy places. Shopping malls and other busy areas can be confusing and cause disorientation.

● Assess the person’s response to new surroundings. Do not leave someone with dementia unsupervised if new surroundings may cause confusion, disorientation, or agitation.

If a family member does wander and get lost, begin your search immediately. Start by searching the immediate vicinity, including “less-traveled” areas in your home. Outside the home, search the yard and nearby surroundings. Most people who wander are found within a half mile of their homes or starting location.

If, after 15 minutes, the person is not located, call 911 to file a missing person’s report. New York State law enforcement can issue a Missing Vulnerable Adult Alert, to alert the public that an individual who is at least 18 years old and has a cognitive disorder, mental disability, or brain disorder has gone missing. This program allows for the rapid dissemination of information that can result in an individual’s safe return.

“It breaks our hearts when we hear families say, ‘We wish we knew about the Alzheimer’s Association sooner,’” Koch says. “If there is anyone in Western New York struggling with caring for a loved one living with Alzheimer’s or dementia, please know that aroundthe-clock support and abundant free resources are just a phone call away.”

The WNY Chapter can provide families with a free Safety Services brochure with more information. To receive one, call 716-626-0600 ext. 313 or email ctorgalski@alz.org.

To learn more about ways to prevent wandering or how to take action when wandering occurs, visit alz.org or call 800-272-3900.

Selecting an ElderCare Facility

— Source: Johns Hopkins Medicine

It’s hard to know when the time is right for an older adult to move from home to a residential care setting. This can be one of the most difficult decisions a family must make. Many people keep caring for the person at home, even though it becomes physically and emotionally exhausting for them to do so. Sometimes, moving to a residential care setting may become the most realistic decision to make sure that the person will get the best care.

Moving from home into a residential care facility should be considered when 1 or more of the following things is true:

 The older adult needs round-theclock care.

 The older adult can’t manage eating, toileting, and bathing (activities of daily living) without help.

 The older adult is prone to violent outbursts (physical or verbal), or is a danger to himself or herself or to others.

 The older adult has wandered away from the safe surroundings of home or neighborhood.

 The caregiver’s health and wellbeing is negatively affected.

Types of Out-of-Home Options

Many types of out-of-home care options are available for older adults, depending on the level of care needed. These may include:

 Assisted living facility (ALF). ALFs provide maximum independence for older adults who remain relatively active and healthy. Typically, a healthy spouse and an impaired spouse can live together in an ALF. Most ALFs feature apartmentstyle living with individual kitchens, and many services for older adults. These include 24-hour security, transportation, and recreational and social programs.

 Residential care facility (RCF). RCFs are for those who can no longer live alone and independently, but who don’t require skilled nursing care. At an RCF, the older person can receive help with personal hygiene, grooming, or other activities of daily living. They can also have bedside care for minor and short-term (temporary) illnesses. Typically, RCFs offer rooms, not apartments. They provide some recreational and social services for older adults.

 Skilled nursing facility (SNF). SNFs are also known as nursing homes, convalescent centers, and rest homes. At SNFs, older adults receive continuous nursing services under the care of a registered nurse or licensed vocational nurse. SNFs can provide more extensive care services than assisted living or residential care facilities. Such services include IV (intravenous fluids), blood pressure monitoring, medicine injections, and care for patients on ventilators. SNFs often provide recreational, rehabilitative, and so-

cial programs for residents.

 Others. Special care centers are available for people with particular medical conditions, such as Alzheimer’s disease or dementia. Special psychiatric facilities may be an option for people with violent or disruptive behaviors, or people who present a danger to themselves or others.

What to Consider When Selecting a Facility

In general:

 Is the facility staff willing to have you take a tour and stop in at mealtime to visit with residents?

 What care services are provided and do these services match your own individual needs?

 How much input do residents and their families have in daily life and care?

 What choices of accommodations are available?

 Are there graduated levels of care available? For example, can residents move from an assisted living environment to a higher level of care as needed?

 What personal items can be brought from home? What items are not allowed?

 Can residents have their own car on the premises?

 What is the visitation policy?

 Does the facility have a certain religious affiliation? If so, is your loved one happy with this affiliation?

 How would an emergency situation be handled by the facility? This includes a fire or severe winter storm. Does the facility have an emergency or crisis management plan in place? The facility:

 Is the facility clean and tidy throughout? Are sanitary standards strictly enforced?

 Are appropriate safety measures taken? These include clearly marked fire exits, well-lighted hallways, bathroom grip bars, and an in-room emergency call system.

 Is the facility located in a safe and

convenient location?

 Is 24-hour security provided?

Rooms:

 Are individual rooms bright, cheery, and roomy?

 Do room arrangements allow for privacy?

 Do individual rooms have windows, allowing for natural light and a pleasant view?

 Are the common areas (activity rooms, lobby, and gathering rooms) large, bright, and well kept?

 Is the dining room welcoming, spacious and not too crowded? Is it easy to move around in?

 Is the kitchen area clean and organized?

Respect for the older individual:

 Does the facility have a written policy about residents’ rights and responsibilities? Is it made readily available?

 Is the staff trained to treat residents with dignity and respect?

 Are residents and their families involved in developing the individual care plans?

Staff:

 What is the number of staff members available per shift?

 Is the staff friendly and respectful of residents?

 Are continuing education and training a priority?

 Specifically, what staff medical services are provided? Does the facility offer healthcare providers, nursing, physical therapy, respiratory care, and occupational therapy?

Nursing care:

 What is the resident-to-nurse ratio?

 Is nursing care provided 24 hours a day?

 What are the credential requirements for the nursing staff?

Licensure and certification:

 Is the facility licensed by the state?

 Is it licensed to provide Medicare and Medicaid coverage?

Costs:

 Which services are included in the standard rate? Are other services provided for additional fees?

 What are the facility’s Medicare and Medicaid policies?

Medical considerations:

 Is a healthcare provider available for emergencies?

 Are personal healthcare providers allowed to follow residents at the facility? Or does a facility-appointed healthcare provider treat residents?

 Does the facility have arrangements with a nearby hospital in case of an emergency?

 Is emergency transportation available?

Activities:

 Is a well-rounded program of social and recreational activities available for groups and individuals? For example, does the facility offer outdoor outings, arts and crafts class-

es, movie outings, exercise classes, and reading clubs?

 Does the facility stay active and connected with the surrounding community?

 Are outside trips and activities planned regularly?

Nutritional needs:

 Are meals provided at the facility, and what are the meal plan options?

 Does a licensed dietitian approve all menus?

 Can the facility accommodate people with special dietary restrictions?

 For people who want to take some meals in privacy, is there a small kitchen or kitchenette available in the individual room or apartment?

Additional services:

 Does the facility provide chaplain services?

 Is a rehabilitative specialist or physical therapist available for rehabilitation?

 Is massage therapy offered?

 Are housekeeping and laundry needs available? If so, are they included as part of overall fees or provided at an extra cost?

 Is transportation available for trips to the local shopping center, grocery store, library, and bank?

WNY Family Magazine just launched an Instagram page! You’ll find a variety of info, tips, resources & fun stuff that is different from our Facebook and Twitter feeds.

Family Guide Resource

— by Lisa M. Petsche

One of my husband’s aunts moved to a nursing home a while ago, due to her fluctuating health status and declining ability to care for herself. Although she’d exhausted other options, she was extremely unhappy about the situation and our initial visits there were strained. But my husband and I persisted and gradually found ways to make interactions with her enjoyable again.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, grappling with how to help ease an older relative’s transition into long-term care, here are some suggestions from my personal and professional experience.

One of the best things you can do is share psychosocial information with staff to help them get to know your relative. Valuable personal information might include birthplace and other places lived; family of origin; education; work history; successes, losses and other challenges; significant relationships; pastimes and skills; personality and coping style; cultural and religious background; values and beliefs; routines and habits; likes and dislikes; and what brings comfort when something upsetting occurs.

Such information assists staff in seeing a unique person rather than simply someone with a set of physical needs (especially valuable if your relative is unable to communicate or illness has caused behavioral changes). It also guides staff in individualizing the plan

of care. In addition, they can use the information to initiate conversation, putting your relative at ease and building rapport, and to introduce him or her to residents with similar backgrounds or interests and match recreation programs to fit specific needs.

There are also many direct ways you can help your relative feel valued and connected to pre-admission life:

 Bring in possessions from home to personalize their room.

 Supply a large calendar, with special occasions marked.

 Plan to visit when you’re not rushed for time. Develop a regular visiting schedule so your relative knows when to expect you and can anticipate your next visit. Telephone between visits if you can’t get in as often as you would like.

 Bring flowers from your garden or some favorite foods.

 Change room decorations to reflect the seasons and holidays.

 Actively listen to what your relative has to tell you. Show interest in their daily activities.

 Keep your relative informed about current events by supplying a radio or television or arranging for a newspaper subscription.

 Recreate routines from home, such as playing cards or watching a favorite TV program together.

Encourage your relative to try some recreational programs or attend a resident council meeting. Join in yourself for special events.

 Keep your relative up-to-date on news about family and friends, and involve them in family decisionmaking.

 Notify family members and friends of the new address and phone number and encourage them to call, write, or visit. Offer to join them for the first visit if they express anxiety.

 Bring your or your relative’s pet in to visit (find out the home’s policy first).

 Plan activities outside the residence. Go for a walk around the neighborhood or take a drive, for example. If your relative uses a wheelchair, register them with the local accessible transportation service so you can take them to a restaurant, the mall, or community events.

 If it’s feasible, arrange for your relative to visit your home for a few hours.

 Continue to include the person in family celebrations. If family members’ homes aren’t accessible, choose a restaurant or banquet hall that is, or ask staff to help you plan a gathering onsite. Videotape or photograph events your relative isn’t able to attend, to share later.

Be prepared that your relative may demonstrate considerable sadness, anxiety, or anger at first. They will need time to grieve losses, which might include a house that holds fond memories, companions, pets, possessions, and supportive neighbors, for example.

Some residents adjust to their new circumstances within a matter of weeks, while others can take months to accept the change in living arrangements and settle in. Be patient. Keep showing up and reaching out.

If you’re concerned that your relative isn’t adapting well, consult with the staff social worker.

Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker and a freelance writer specializing in family life. She has personal experience with elder care.

I learned that it is very difficult for someone to give up their sense of control over their own life and lose any portion of their independence. But there comes a point where common sense and a need to make sure your loved one is safe take precedence.

At one point, when I felt my father was suffering needlessly and should be entitled to more services than he was getting, I consulted a professional geriatric care manager. After interviewing me about the specifics of my parents’ situation, the care manager was able to tell me that my father should be entitled to a number of things, paid for by Medicare — a hospital bed at home, a wheelchair, a walker, visiting nurses to come in each day to monitor his condition, the services of an aide weekday mornings to help him get out of bed and ready for the day, visits by a phlebotomist to draw blood at home rather than having to go out to a lab, and in-home services by physical and occupational therapists.

Why hadn’t he been getting these services already? The key, I learned through the education I received from the care manager, was switching to a new, better-informed primary physician. All of the above was accomplished in a very short period of time with the aid of the new physician and his larger, helpful support staff versus my parents’ long-time, older sole practitioner.

After my father passed away and my mother’s health began to decline, we had a second “go round” with eldercare issues. My father had been a “good patient.” He actually looked forward to his aide coming every day, and she developed a warm relationship with him. My mother, on the other hand, was a “hard case.”

There were days at work when I would receive a phone call from the home health care agency saying that my mother had purposely locked the aide out of the house and was screaming at her to go away; or my mother would call and tell me to fire the home health care agency because the aide had scratched her bedroom furniture when she vacuumed. This was not someone with dementia; it was my strong-willed mother who found

it terribly difficult to accept the reality of her situation.

Needless to say, these were not fun years. You may not ever find yourself in this position — hopefully, your parents will be active and relatively healthy to a ripe, old age, only to die suddenly and unexpectedly, but peacefully, in their sleep. While that’s a shock to loved ones, in my opinion, it’s a blessing to all, including the departed who did not have to suffer years of illness and indignities.

I believe that knowledge is power, and the realm of eldercare is no different. If you suspect that one or both of your parents is beginning to decline in any way, don’t be complacent. Have a discussion with your parents about whether they have made any plans about how they will provide for themselves as they age. This can understandably be a very touchy subject. Few of us like to face our own mortality and certainly don’t want to give up any of our independence. Available finances are also an important part of this discussion. I remember the words, but not the name, of an eldercare expert who said, “Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.”

Gather your siblings, if you have them, and begin to work together to formulate alternatives for the help your parent(s) may need. If you wait for a crisis to occur — such as a fall causing broken bones — your options will be much more limited when they may need to be chosen under pressure.

The additional articles in this special section will address many other areas of concern that can arise as your parents age. By educating yourself, or perhaps sharing this copy of WNY Family with your parents, you can get a head start on helping them age well and happily! You may also gain some important insights into how you, yourself, can plan ahead for your own later years.

Michele Miller is the founder and editor of WNY Family. Her own children are now 43 and 40, and she is the grandmother of two. After 39 years of editing WNY Family, she’s had to face reality and admit that she is now among the “Young Old” category of senior citizens!!

ADVICE FOR CAREGIVERS continued...

billing purposes. Otherwise, without this approval, your family member’s physician and insurance company will decline to speak with you.

The role as medical power of attorney begins (also called a health care surrogate/health care proxy) when your family member can no longer make their own decisions or act in their best interest. Even if they never filed a HIPAA form with their physician, once the Power of Attorney for health care comes into effect, you are considered their personal representative and authorized to receive private health information. It is recommended you have this document drawn up by a legal professional. Additionally, find out if your powers are suspended if the person returns to good health.

Medicare and insurance companies typically have additional requirements before they will engage in communication. Any insurance company, prescription drug provider, or state/local offices may insist that they need you to sign

their specific forms. The Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services is included in this practice.

In situations which involve Medicare or insurance companies, things are often easier if you can be in the same room as your care recipient, or if you can conference them in over the phone or another three-way calling service. Even if the care recipient has difficulty hearing or speaking, it is often easier to have them answer a few simple questions directly from the Medicare representative, especially if you have not been able to complete the paperwork Medicare has requested.

Hospital employees are often worried about taking responsibility for something where the lines are not clearly drawn. Proper documentation and preparation can resolve many potential care giving challenges.

For more information visit the National Council on Aging at https://www.ncoa.org.

Niagara HospicE

Comfort Care & Support for Niagara County Families

Health factors that can lead to eligibility include frequent falls or hospitalizations, unexplained weight loss or loss of appetite, shortness of breath and requiring more assistance with daily living activities.

Niagara Hospice provides specialized care, support and guidance to Niagara County families faced with any late-stage illness that has a prognosis of six months or less. A team of doctors, nurses, social workers, spiritual counselors, aides and volunteers work collaboratively to ensure comfort, dignity and quality of life for the entire family.

The interdisciplinary care team customizes a plan for every family situation and addresses symptom management for the patient’s illness while delivering caregiver relief.

The organization cares for more than 1,000 patients and families each year, and about two-thirds of all patients receive services in their home or a loved one’s home. Services are also available at Niagara Hospice House in Lockport, and in hospitals and skilled nursing facilities throughout Niagara County. After families experience the extensive support, they often encour-

age others to call sooner when a patient’s illness is also affecting the health and stress of family members. Medicare covers the expenses for most patients, and many health insurance plans, including Managed Long-Term Care and the Veterans Administration, provide coverage. No patient is ever denied services due to inability to pay.

The ultimate goal for hospice is to improve quality of life for families so they can maximize precious time together. Anyone can make a referral at NiagaraHospice.org or call 716-HOSPICE for a free consultation for eligibility.

— Source: Cornell University

More than 1 in 10 older adults in New York state — over 360,000 people — may become victims of elder mistreatment over the next decade, estimates a first-of-its-kind study by collaborators from Cornell and the University of Toronto.

They determined that poor health is a major risk factor, and that people who transition to living alone are more likely to suffer financial abuse. Black older adults also are at higher risk of financial abuse, a previously unreported racial disparity.

Tracking the incidence of mistreatment over time among hundreds of older adults who hadn’t previously been victims, the study confirms elder abuse is widespread and advances understanding of risk factors that should inform efforts to detect and prevent mistreatment, the researchers said.

“This study contributes to a growing base of evidence that elder mistreatment is a highly prevalent problem that demands a vigorous public health response,” said Karl Pillemer, the Hazel E. Reed Professor in the Department of Human Development in the College of Human Ecology (CHE) and professor of gerontology in medicine at Weill Cornell Medicine (WCM). “It’s a call to action for both the state and the country to think about how to better assist victims.”

The study, “Estimated Incidence and Factors Associated with Risk of Elder Mistreatment in New York State,”

Older Adults are at Risk of Elder Abuse

was published August 12, 2021 in JAMA Network Open. The research was funded by a grant from the National Institute on Aging, part of the National Institutes of Health.

David Burnes, associate professor at the University of Toronto’s FactorInwentash Faculty of Social Work, is the study’s lead author. Pillemer is a senior author and Cornell co-authors include John Eckenrode, professor emeritus of human development (CHE); Dr. Mark Lachs, the Irene and Roy Psaty Distinguished Professor of Medicine (WCM); and David Hancock, a postdoctoral researcher in WCM’s Division of Geriatrics and Palliative Medicine.

Previous studies have measured the prevalence of elder mistreatment at points in time, including estimates of 15.7% globally and 9.5% in the United States. But the research team said such snapshots could not draw strong conclusions about the causes of mistreatment, for example whether someone’s poor health had led to abuse or resulted from abuse.

“Until you can look at people over time,” Burnes said, “you don’t have enough data to understand what you can do to help to prevent elder mistreatment.”

The new study followed older adults over a 10-year period. In 2019, the researchers followed up with nearly 630 participants in a 2009 survey conducted by several members of the research team, called the New York State Elder Mistreatment Study.

In the earlier survey, this sample reported no experience with mistreatment in five categories: financial abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, neglect and sexual abuse. But a decade later, 11.4% reported having become victims of elder mistreatment, the study found. Financial abuse was the most common type, affecting 8.5% of respondents, followed by emotional abuse (4.1%), physical abuse (2.3%) and neglect (1%). No sexual abuse was reported.

“Given the scope of this issue,” the scholars wrote, “the development of prevention programs that either forestall initial onset of [elder mistreatment] among older adults or support existing victims are urgently needed.”

The study increases confidence that poor health is indeed an important risk factor, the authors said. That means healthcare providers could play an important role in screening older adults and providing education and referrals for at-risk patients, practices that have proven effective in addressing child neglect and abuse.

“If elder abuse victims are more likely to be in poor health,” Pillemer said, “their primary care physicians may be the front line of defense when it comes to treating elder abuse.”

In addition, he said, the greater risk of financial mistreatment among Black older adults warrants further research and reveals a need for culturally sensitive prevention programs that consider race as a potential vulnerability.

“This finding highlights an important form of racial disparity requiring urgent attention,” the authors wrote. Pillemer said the team’s findings in New York state likely apply more broadly, given its large and diverse population. The study likely underestimates the incidence of elder mistreatment, the authors said, since research has shown older adults tend to underreport personal problems, and the population is aging.

“The only indication,” Pillemer said, “is that these numbers will increase as the older population increases.”

People who suspect elder mistreatment should contact the adult protective services agency in their state or county, Pillemer said.

More than 10% of

– by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts

mistakes so she will know how they should be written correctly. More than likely, the errors are due to the child not knowing how to write certain things correctly. Once the errors have been identified, she needs to review the grammar, spelling, or essay organization rules that she is not following.

Helping Children with Homework

Question: My kids often want some help with their homework. I am far from an expert in being able to answer all of their questions. Are there any good places online that will give them the help they need? — Challenged

Answer: Most parents are sufficient experts to give children in the primary grades the help they need. However, when asked for help, parents should not immediately provide an answer. You want your young children to learn how to handle challenging work.

The first step is to ask them to reread the question or problem so they understand what is being asked. This may be all they need to do. If not, ask them if they have done something similar in class. If so, tell them to look at similar examples in textbooks, study guides, worksheets, or computer lessons. If this does not help, ask questions to guide them to the answer.

Finally, it may be necessary to teach a concept that simply has not been mastered. If a young child is having a problem with a math question, once a problem is solved with your help, watch the child solve several more to be sure that he or she can do the work. By helping them in this way, you are putting them on the way to being capable learners.

By the time children are in seventh grade, they should be almost entirely responsible for doing their homework without your help. We do admit, however, that sometimes it is fun to help them

with projects, like making salt maps or building igloos out of sugar cubes.

There are absolutely loads of places that middle school and high school students can find homework help. Some of the places require students to pay for this help, especially those that do one-onone tutoring. Doing an online search for “best homework help” will give them a good starting point. However, a student just advised us that it is very easy to find answers by simply typing a question into a search engine.

If parents want to brush up on school subjects that their children are studying, they will find videos on the Khan Academy website that are very helpful as well as simply researching them online.

Papers Drowning in Red Ink

Question: Our middle school child’s papers are drowning in red ink. Her teacher circles every mistake that she makes in her writing. According to the teacher, the child has to learn to proofread and edit better. Unfortunately, the teacher does not suggest how she go about doing this. Do you have any suggestions? — Too Much Red

Answer: No one can immediately correct all one’s mistakes if a paper is covered in red ink. A good approach would be for the child to sit down with the teacher and ask him or her to tell her the two or possibly three major mistakes she is making on most of her papers. For this to be solid advice, she will need to take several papers with her. It would also be helpful if the teacher would work with her to correct some of these major

The next step is for her to create a checklist of these two or three common errors so that she can use it to make sure she is avoiding them on the next paper she turns in. For example, the checklist might have such things as failing to check spelling and subject and verb agreement. Once she has gotten on top of these errors, she can add another like overusing a word. The one thing she will need to do, however, is to check every old and new item on her editing list every time she turns in a paper. By using this gradual approach, her papers should soon have a lot less red ink, and she will have become a better writer.

If your child’s written work is being done on the computer, a quick fix for a lot of errors is for her to use the spelling and grammar editing functions if this is allowed. If the problem lies in the content, make it a point to read her finished papers to her out loud so she can hear the portions that just do not make sense. You may need to do this paragraph by paragraph or even sentence by sentence. This will help her write what she really wants to say more effectively.

Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher.com, and visit the dearteacher.com website to learn more about helping their children succeed in school.

Helping all parents make their children’s educational experience as successful as possible

FAMILY TRAVEL

— by Deborah Williams

Old Favorites and Stunning New Attractions Await!

Toronto is back and the welcome mat is out for all! All COVID border restrictions are long gone. Thanks to a most favorable exchange rate for American visitors, a weekend in this world class city is very doable.

There are new family-friendly attractions, as well as the old favorites, that beckon all ages. If there are hockey, Disney, Harry Potter or sea creature fans, there are not-to-be missed attractions designed for their interests.

Stepping out of the majestic Union Station I found myself looking up for a glimpse of the iconic CN Tower — my first close-up sighting in more than three years. It had been the longest absence from Toronto in my adult life and I was

so happy to be back.

Since its completion in 1975 and its public opening on June 26, 1976, the CN Tower has defined Toronto’s skyline. The telecommunications tower is Canada’s most recognizable and celebrated icon at 1,815 feet, five inches. It is impossible to miss and, if the weather is reasonably clear, a trip to the top is a must-see adventure. Though it is no longer the world’s tallest freestanding structure, it remains the tallest in North America.

Our 58-second ride in the glassfloor-paneled elevator was quite exciting. The destination was the Glass Floor with a view 1,122 feet straight down. Visitors are invited to walk, jump, or crawl on the floor that is designed to

hold the weight of 35 moose or more than three orcas. Step outside to the Outdoor Sky Terrace.

Armed with a separate ticket, there is a different elevator that takes visitors 33 stories higher to the SkyPod. Learn about what happens when the tower is struck by lightning and see how the tower moves in the wind. It gets struck by lightning an average of 75 times per year. Under ideal conditions, the mist of Niagara Falls, 100 miles away, can be seen.

Hungry? The tower offers good choices: Le Café on the ground floor with baked goods and sandwiches and pizza; Vue Bistros on the Main Observation Level offers Canadian food and drinks including poutine; and the 360 Restaurant offers fine dining, admission to the tower viewing levels, and a full revolution every 72 minutes. A children’s menu is available.

Back on ground level a visit to neighboring Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada has become a favorite stop.

Ripley’s is Canada’s largest indoor aquarium. It showcases more than 20,000 marine animals and features the biggest shark collection in North America, one of the world’s most extensive jelly fish exhibits, 75-year-old giant lobsters, sting ray and bamboo shark touch pools, and daily live dive shows.

The regular dive shows demonstrate rays eating from the hands of a diver as an aquarium staffer provides background and tips about the life and habits of the creatures. Up on the surface, there is a ray touch pool.

Learn about the ecosystems of the Great Lakes and surrounding seas at Canadian Waters. Begin your journey through the aquarium by learning what life is like for the underwater creatures living in Lake Ontario and the other Great Lakes.

The Dangerous Lagoon is a popular and awe-inspiring exhibit for family visitors. Basically, there is a football-length glass-viewing tunnel with a moving glide path through sharks, green sea turtles, sawfish, and moray eels. Overhead there are sharks; look left, more sharks; and to the right sharks again, as well as turtles, fish, and moray eels.

There is even a Shark Reef crawl tunnel where kids can crawl into the reef

and experience the sensation of being in the middle of a gigantic fish and shark tank. Once inside the tunnel, few crawlers wanted to come out. This is the place to take a shark selfie.

Toronto is very much a city of neighborhoods. The centerpiece of nearby Old Town is the St. Lawrence Market, about six blocks from Union Station on Front Street. Ontario farmers have been selling produce at this spot since 1803. Today’s version was named the world’s top food market by National Geographic.

Cheeses, meats, fish, baked goods, spices, delis, flowers, and boutiques fill the expansive market. Often musicians entertain visitors. It is a good place for an inexpensive breakfast or lunch or to pick up supplies for a picnic. A longtime market favorite is the peameal bacon sandwich from Carousel Bakery that drew rave reviews from the late culinary celebrity Anthony Bourdain.

Mustard lovers make sure to stop at Kozlik’s Mustard stand — samples are available. The family has been hand making the mustard since 1948 and it is recognized as one of the world’s best. Did you know Canada grows 90% of the world’s mustard? It is also home to the world’s oldest and biggest mustard mill.

Across from Union Station is the Hockey Hall of Fame on Front Street. It is housed in the majestic 1885 Bank of Montreal building. This is a Mecca for hockey lovers everywhere. You can attempt to stop Wayne Gretzky’s winning shot in virtual reality or have your photo taken with hockey’s biggest prize — the Stanley Cup. The sport’s original Stanley Cup is housed in one of the bank vaults.

continued on page 48

Interested in a career in sports reporting? Try out the broadcast booth where you can get a taste of reporting on a game. Young hockey fans were clearly enjoying wielding a hockey stick and hitting the puck or blocking goals. There are also a multitude of interactive multimedia exhibits and hockey memorabilia.

If you see a bunch of princesses, mermaids and even a few Simbas walking into the nearby Toronto Star building at One Yonge Street, don’t be surprised. They are all there for Disney Animation: Immersive Experience, an innovative celebration that takes visitors inside the greatest films of Walt Disney Animation Studios. Though costumes are not required, they were very popular, especially among the younger guests.

It was a magical time. The costumed children especially were fully into the experience of stepping into Disney’s earliest features to today’s beloved movie hits. First, you will get a look at how movies and characters are brought to life. If you are inspired, you can even grab a pencil and paper and let your imagination flow. Take a photo with Frozen’s Elsa and Anna.

Then you are in a room with more than 50 projectors that work together to create the images shown on the walls and ceiling. Guests with bracelets light up in sync with the music and we are all in another world. The experience appeals to all ages — children are dancing, parents are singing along, and everyone seems to be moving. Suddenly bubbles fill the room, and the floor is interactive.

The highlight of our weekend was surely the incredible, spellbinding theater production of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in the more than century old CAA Ed Mirvish Theatre. Even though I am not into the world of Harry Potter, it was surely the most amazing live theater production I have ever seen. To say this is a spectacular is an understatement.

It was also the longest at three and a half hours, including intermission. It is not recommended for children under eight, but the sold-out crowd was filled with families including their very excited children.

This is the largest play ever performed in Canada with more than 35 performers along with the incredible crew. What stands out are the “out of this world” special effects. “How did they do that?” was my constant thought.

Wizards transform into other wizards in plain view. Bodies fly through the air. Non-human creatures appear. It is a truly magical performance. The cold fog and smoke actually felt cold and the scenes with fire felt warm. The show is packed with tricks, effects, and stunts that transport the audience to another world. It will dazzle your senses.

Toronto has been rated the most ethnically diverse city in the world and it is demonstrated in its food scene. We dined at the Paramount Middle Eastern Kitchen, almost next door to the theater and it was the perfect choice. The food and service were great at most reasonable prices. It lives up to its name: paramount quality, service, and dining experience.

While Toronto has a wide array of hotels, it is hard to top the Chelsea Hotel for its many programs and attractions designed for kids and families. The fun begins at the reception desk with special check-in for children, complete with presents for young guests.

There are some extra promotions, family packages, and attractions this month during Ontario Spring Break Week. Other promotions are available year-round.

A highlight of the hotel is the second floor Family Fun Zone. It features a family pool with a corkscrew waterslide that goes outside the hotel, a Kid Centre and Teen Lounge. The supervised Kid Centre offers a variety of educational and artistic activities and even some real bunnies. Children three and over who are toilet trained can be supervised for two hours for $20 per child (Canadian) — perfect if parents want to enjoy a dinner for two. On Fridays and Saturdays, the center is open until 10 pm.

The top floor features an adult only pool, hot tub and exercise machines.

Travel Tip of the Month: For information on Toronto visit destinationtoronto.com. At press time $1 U.S. equals $1.33 Canadian.

For Chelsea Hotel visit chelseatoronto.com or call 1-800-CHELSEA. The hotel is also dog friendly.

For Harry Potter and the Cursed Child visit mirvish.com. For the Disney show visit lighthouseimmersive.com.

For unlimited travel, Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) offers a day pass on weekends and holidays. The cost is $11 (About $8.25 U.S.) for two adults and up to four children.

An alternative to driving to downtown Toronto and risking high traffic and high parking fees is to drive on the QEW to just over the Burlington Skyway. Get off and go to the Go Train station and parking. The parking is free and children 12 and under are free for the 50-minute trip to downtown Toronto.

Trains travel every 30 minutes. Tickets can be purchased at a machine in the station or online before the trip. There are also lower cost Weekend Pass tickets (online only). It was relaxing and cheaper than driving and parking in the city. Walking out of Union Station there was a line of taxis.

Deborah Williams lives in Holland, NY and is a veteran travel writer whose work has appeared in national and international publications. She is the recipient of the Society of American Travel Writers’ Lowell Thomas Gold Travel Writing Award.

Coming Up In Our June Issue

This special pull-out section will showcase museums, attractions, festivals, getaways and much more to tens of thousands of parents searching for the perfect Summer activities and destinations for their families!

Daddy Daddy The Track

– by Shannon Carpenter

Introducing…

This month, we welcome our new fatherhood columnist, Shannon Carpenter. Shannon is the father of three and has been a stay-at-home dad since 2008. He’s the author of the book “Stay-at-Home Dad: Your Essential Manual for Being an Awesome Full-Time Father,” as well as the co-host of Dadhouse Pod. In addition to his writing on parenting, he is also a humor writer trained through the famous Second City. And we all know that having

Let’s Break the Isolation of Fatherhood

My stay-at-home dad career began with my 19-month-old daughter getting sick. When your toddler does her best Linda Blair impression, you learn fast. For the next 15 years, I have gotten dirty as the primary caregiver of my three kids. That first experience was only the initiation. Now my daughter is driving, and I have a whole new set of worries.

One of the biggest problems that any father faces is the isolation. As a stay-athome dad, it was the most unexpected part of fatherhood. I always imagined myself sitting around campfires with other dads. We would talk about cars (which I know nothing about), construction (also which I know nothing about), and the occasional dad joke (those are my bread and butter). For example, why doesn’t the sun need to go to college? Because he already has a thousand degrees. I literally have hundreds of those. However, I found that there are not that many support systems for fathers. I planned my days around library story times and the occasional trip to the lumber yard. Why the lumber yard? Because

lumber yards are cool, that’s why. And although the lumber guys were great with their prices for a quarter inch sheet plywood, they were terrible when I had questions about breastfeeding.

This may shock you, but many fathers don’t know anything about breastfeeding. It’s a topic that we don’t discuss over campfires. Well, we didn’t then, but I’m getting to that part. When my wife was in tears from feeding our child, I had no idea what to do. I felt about as useful as a broken muffler, which is legitimately the only thing I know about cars. Well, I know that it’s bad to break a muffler.

I also didn’t know about diaper rash, outings with my kids, or how to handle Linda Blair toddler cosplay. But I knew that I loved my daughter and my family.

I got lucky, and I freely admit it. I found my own dads’ group. These are the guys that could mentor me through fatherhood. They broke my isolation and helped me get outside of my own head. Any parent knows that we spend way too much time with our thoughts. We have a tendency to spiral in our lower moments. That is what happened to me

as a new stay-at-home dad.

I have been with the same guys for 15 years now. We have seen the world’s largest ball of twine (it’s a thing), the world’s largest pair of underwear (it’s also a thing), and climbed to the top of a mountain that contained nuclear waste. I’m not saying that I’ve made the best decisions as a parent. However, I am pointing out that I had a group of guys that have helped me through all of it. And since I already have three kids, I don’t think the nuclear waste thing was that bad. I’m done having children. Between us, we have raised 16 children, and I wouldn’t change the experience for anything.

Not all fathers are as lucky as I am. Many times, there is no place to turn when you have awkward questions or are completely ignorant. That does not mean we are incompetent, though. It just means we have a steep learning curve. For fathers just starting out now, who are more involved than ever before, the problem still comes down to isolation. And believe me when I tell you, I’ve walked that road. It is not fun. Petting buffalo from a covered wagon is way fun, though, but that is a story for another time.

I’m very grateful that I have the chance to share with other parents some of the things I’ve been through and the lessons that I’ve learned. For example, it’s very hard to keep five toddlers from petting the alpha buffalo. That’s a good lesson that every person should learn.

But there are other lessons that I’ve learned over the years as the primary caregiver to my kids. When potty training, keep a couple of sticky notes in your diaper bag to cover up automatic flushers. Sometimes those can scare kids learning for the first time. Also, keep a couple of different brands of band-aids in your diaper bag. When a child has a choice between a superhero or a cartoon character, it can help them to not focus on their owie.

So, let’s share our adventures and our failures. Let’s laugh a little at the absurdity that parenting can be. And let’s help break that isolation that we all sometimes feel.

a sense of humor is essential to surviving parenthood!

Family Movie Options: In Theaters and Streaming Online

Maurice is a talking cat with a very loose grip on ethics. Along with an orphaned boy and talking rats, Maurice scams village rs by convincing them of fake “rat infestations” and then charging a fee to play “pied piper”. Not only is the movie’s matter-of-fact approach to dishonesty problematic , so is its gory violence. Rat coursing, kidnapping, brawling, death – none of this is what parents expect in kids’ entertainment. Not even the voice cast can save this one. Photo ©Viva Pictures

Sixteen-year-old Jessica Watson is determined to achieve her dream of sail ing around the world on her own. Based on real events from 2019, this film follows Jessica as she faces the perils of the ocean as well as her own internal fears. This is a conventionally inspiring film and while it might not be innovative, it’s both wholesome and family-friendly. Its messages about persistence, courage, and hard work are definitely beneficial for teens Photo © Netflix

When her mother goes missing on a romantic vacation in Colombia, June isn’t impressed with the efforts of law enforcement. The young woman devotes her computer skills to the search, uncovering some disturbing information along the way. Shot entirely on June’s computer screen, this is a taut, twisty, tigh tly paced thriller. Some profanity, violence, and a scene of teen drinking are problem atic but the movie also celebrates ingenuity, perseverance, and devotion Photo ©Sony Pictures Releasing

Drifting in his life, college senior Fielding acts on a whim and adopts a puppy, a Golden Retriever he names “Gonker”. His parents are appalled by the pup’s rambuctiousness but soon fall for his charm. When Gonker disappears on the Appalachian Trail, panic ensues because Gonker requires injections every month or he will die. This is a family-safe movie about family ties and community cooperation. Best of all, it overflows with canine cuteness. Photo ©Netflix

PG-13 C B+ C- C- B-

Twenty years into a friendship that began with a one-night stand, Debbie and Peter talk every day. When Debbie needs to go to New York for a one week course, Peter offers a house swap. She can stay at his place and he’ll come to Los Angeles and look after her son, Jack. This is a charmless rom-com, burdened by flat acting, annoying characters, and an overly expository script . There are also scenes of impulsive sex which will not suit family audiences. Photo ©Netflix

Detailed reviews available at www.parentpreviews.com

Cyberbullying is a growing problem that can have serious consequences for children and teens. It involves using technology, such as social media, text messages, and websites, to bully, harass, or intimidate others. According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, approximately 20% of students in grades 9-12 have experienced cyberbullying, and about the same percentage of students in grades 6-12 have admitted to cyberbullying others.

Other research has found that:

● Girls are more likely to be victims of cyberbullying than boys.

● Students who identify as LGBTQ+ are more likely to be cyberbullied than their straight peers.

RAISING DIGITAL KIDS

— by Mike Daugherty

The Dark Side of the Digital World

● Students who have experienced cyberbullying are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. There are numerous suicides attributed to cyberbullying every year.

It’s important to recognize that cyberbullying can have serious consequences for young people, and it’s important for parents, educators, and others to work together to address this issue and support those who have been affected by cyberbullying. In this article, we will explore what cyberbullying is, how it differs from traditional bullying, and what you can do as a parent to help prevent and address it.

Cyberbullying differs from traditional bullying in several ways. One key difference is the anonymity and reach of online communication. With traditional bullying, the perpetrator and victim are usually in close physical proximity, and the bullying may be witnessed by others. With cyberbullying, the perpetrator can be physically distant from the victim and may remain anonymous, making it more

difficult for the victim to identify the source of the bullying and for authorities to intervene.

Another difference is the duration and persistence of online communication. Traditional bullying typically occurs in real-time and may end when the victim is able to escape the bullying situation. In contrast, cyberbullying can occur 24/7, as the victim may be constantly connected to the internet and may be unable to escape the bullying. In addition, online content can be easily shared and circulated, potentially reaching a wide audience and causing long-term harm to the victim’s reputation and well-being. Overall, cyberbullying can have more severe and lasting effects than traditional bullying, and it is important for parents to be aware of the potential risks and to take steps to protect their children from online harm.

Here are a few signs that a child may be experiencing cyberbullying:

1. Changes in behavior: If a child who is normally outgoing and confident becomes withdrawn or anx-

ious, it may be a sign that they are being bullied.

2. Decline in grades: Cyberbullying can be extremely distressing for children and may lead to a decline in school performance.

3. Avoidance of online activities: If a child starts avoiding online activities or seems hesitant to use the internet or their phone, it may be a sign that they are being bullied online.

4. Unexpected mood changes: If a child becomes unusually sad, angry, or upset after using the internet or their phone, it may be a sign that they are being bullied online.

5. Withdrawal from social activities: If a child starts withdrawing from social activities or avoiding their friends, it may be a sign that they are being bullied online.

If you suspect that your child is being bullied online, it’s important to take their concerns seriously and offer support and guidance. It can be helpful to encourage your child to talk to you about what is happening, and to reassure them that they are not alone and that you are there to help. You may also want to consider seeking the help of a school counselor or other professional to address the issue and provide additional support for your child.

1. Monitor your child’s online activity: Keeping track of your child’s online activity can help you identify any potential problems and address them before they escalate. There are some options for this below.

2. Set boundaries and rules around internet use: Establishing rules and boundaries around internet use can help to keep your child safe online. For example, you may want to set limits on the amount of time your child spends online, or restrict their access to certain websites or apps.

3. Educate your child about internet safety: Teaching your child about internet safety can help them understand how to stay safe online and recognize potential cyberbullying situations.

4. Encourage open communication: Encourage your child to talk to you about their online activities and any concerns they may have. Let them know that you are there to support them and that you will take any reports of cyberbullying seriously.

5. Use parental controls: Many devices and internet service providers offer parental controls that allow you to block certain websites or restrict access to certain content. These tools can be helpful in protecting your child from cyberbullying.

6. Encourage your child to use privacy settings: Encourage your child to use the privacy settings on their social media accounts and other online platforms to help protect their personal information and limit the potential for cyberbullying.

7. Encourage your child to speak up: Encourage your child to speak up if they witness cyberbullying or if they are the target of cyberbullying. Remind them that they are not alone and that there are resources available to help them. There are a number of apps and tools that claim to be able to detect cyberbullying on a child’s phone or social media accounts. However, it’s important to keep in mind that these tools may not be completely reliable, and they may not be able to detect all forms of cyberbullying. It’s also important to be aware that some of these tools may not respect your child’s privacy, so it’s important to carefully research and evaluate any app before using it.

Here are a few examples of apps and tools that claim to be able to detect cyberbullying:

1. Bark: Bark is a monitoring tool that uses artificial intelligence to continued on page 63

SPECIAL NEEDS

This special pull-out section is filled with local resources and businesses that serve children and families with Special Needs. It appears annually in our April issue and is a great opportunity to educate WNY Family’s readers about your services throughout the year.

If you would like to advertise the important services of your business to this targeted audience, contact the Advertising Department at 716-836-3486

— by Laura Reagan-Porras

Surprising Teen Conversation Starters Surprising Teen Conversation Starters

If you want your teen to hear you, you must invest the time and energy to hear them.

Your teen is a growing, independent soul. Sometimes parents can become so worried about their teens that they forget that they are separate individuals who process the world differently, because they are in a different stage of life and have a different social position than their parents.

Building a better, more satisfying relationship with your teen first means you must listen as non-judgmentally as possible. This will require that you remember your teen is their own person. The first step is to get to know your teen in a different way. Sociologists and journalists use an interview technique called open-ended questions. Inside of interview conversations, interviewers use interview by comment. Both of these techniques may be helpful to parents to learn more about how their teen is processing and coping with the world.

The following are a few open-ended questions you can use to start conversations. Remember the purpose of this exercise is to simply listen and learn. Be careful not to jump into advice giving mode, simply listen and learn.

Open-Ended Question Examples

Open-ended questions don’t direct the person being interviewed to answer any specific way. Open ended questions are phrased in a way to require more than a yes or no answer. Each question is about a specific area of teen life and

has a sample follow up question. As you practice open-ended questions and learn conversation starters, you will come up with your own natural follow up questions.

Social Life

1) Who do you consider to be your best friend right now?

a) What do you like best about ______ (name the best friend)?

b) Do you hang out with ________ at lunch?

School

2) Tell me about your favorite class today? Or,

3) Tell me about your least favorite class?

Tip: This is not a conversation about homework or grades. Teens are more likely to respond to coaching about homework if they believe you are interested in how they feel about school.

Leisure Time or Hobbies

4) What do you like to do on weekends when you have alone time?

a) Is there something you would like to do with your friends that you don’t have time or money to do?

5) Who is your favorite artist, singer or band right now?

a) What do you like about them? This may lead to an invitation to listen to music.

Tip: Don’t bypass this opportunity. You really earn credibility as being in-

terested in their world. Go ahead! You can do it! Trips with my daughter have become mutual, musical education opportunities. We listen to one of her songs and then we listen to one of mine. She even attended a concert with me. Now, I have to return the favor.

Family

6) What would you like to do with the family this weekend?

a) What bugs you the most about your little sister?

Tip: Be prepared for the answer without jumping into advice giving. This is the perfect opportunity to compliment your teen’s sibling relationship. You may want to say something like this: “Thank you for not yelling the other day when Ashley went into your room without permission.”

Personal Development, Health or Spirituality

7) I have been trying to meditate. How do you best re-charge your batteries after a stressful day at school these days?

8) I have been working on eating more vegetables. Do you have a health goal to share?

Practice

If it feels awkward, try again. Then, the next time you are alone together, try again. Relationship building is hard work and it takes practice over time.

Tip: Ask these questions casually. Teens might feel put on the spot if they feel interrogated or think they will get in trouble for their answers. One mom shared she has these conversations in the car when traveling to school or after-school activity. When teens are not required to have eye contact, they don’t feel interrogated or threatened by open ended questions.

Laura Reagan-Porras is a family sociologist, parenting coach, and freelance writer. Reach her through her website for questions, comments or coaching a heart2heartparents.com. Laura enjoys conversing with her two teen daughters every day.

When I think about Spring Break, I tend to think about all of the things my kids will be doing and how I am going to keep them busy while I’m at work. I never used to stress about this when I was married because I was a stay-athome mom. Now that I am a full-time therapist, I don’t have the luxury of being at home and just going with the flow. I have to plan things around my work schedule just like many other working parents. However, as a divorcee, I only get my kids during Spring Break on odd years. On the even years, when I don’t have my kids, I decided to focus on myself and all the fun things I can do to celebrate my time alone.

Zoom with a friend

It can be hard to stay in touch with friends when life happens… which is all of the time! Lately, I’ve been scheduling Zoom sessions with my friends so I can see their faces and catch up. It’s been so fun to stay connected in this way. Bonus tip: Schedule a “coffee date” or “meet up for tea” and enjoy your favorite beverage while you chat.

Spring cleaning

Okay, this might not sound super fun to you but stay with me for a minute. Think about all of the things you’ve been wanting to organize or clean but haven’t had time to do (or haven’t wanted to do). Jam out to your favorite music on your

SINGLE PARENTING

—by Meagan Ruffing

Spring Break

For the Single Mom

Alexa and get to it. You can even use the money from items you’ve sold on Marketplace to treat yourself to a new book or a yummy latte.

Dive into a new book

I have a stack of books that I’ve been wanting to read for a long time. I see them every morning as I walk by them in my room and think, “Oh, that looks good!” Try and read a little bit each day. By the end of spring break, you’ll be one book closer to your goal.

Counselor tip: Reading is a great way to calm yourself if you are feeling anxious. It takes effort to focus on the words on the page which can help distract you from any racing thoughts.

Schedule a mom date

If you have kids at home during spring break, this would be considered a play date but I’m talking about the moms right now. Invite your mom friends over — however many you want and make a day of it. The kids can play and have a blast while the moms catch up and talk about their highs and lows. Carving out time for yourself is so important in every season of your life. When you have kids, it can be the highlight of your day. If your kids are a little bit older and can

do their own thing, it can mean the difference between feeling alone in a hard season of life or feeling like you have a great support system.

Take a bath

Lock your bathroom door and get your masks and bath bombs ready. Resting and relaxing can look like so many different things for different people. However, a nice bath is such a simple way to slow down and reset. This is spring break — mom edition so go on and pamper yourself!

Reconnect with a favorite hobby

I love to scrapbook but it’s something I haven’t done since before my kids were born. Recently, I’ve started to get out all of my stuff to get ready for spring break. It’s been fun to look at all of the things I made and heck, maybe I’ll even finish my kids’ baby books?

Catch up on your favorite show

Netflix can be a fun way to rest up while catching up on shows and movies that you haven’t had time to watch. I’m diving in to the second season of Sweet Magnolias right now and it feels good to allow myself time just for me.

Baking and/or cooking

Dust off that cookbook and whip up something for yourself and your family tonight. Doesn’t it feel good to make something from scratch and watch your family enjoy it? Even if it’s just you this spring break, invite someone over to enjoy it with you or take it to a friend who could use a pick-me-up.

Spring break can be a great way to rejuvenate in the midst of a busy life. Try to be intentional about your time this year and allow yourself the room to breathe, relax, and reset. You’ll be so glad you did.

Meagan Ruffing is a parenting journalist, mental health therapist, and single mom who tries to do her best each day. She doesn’t always get it right but she sure has fun trying.

WellnessChoices

Choices

How to Talk to Your Teen About Substance Use

— Source: Child Mind Institute

Adolescence is a tricky time. Teenagers are just beginning to establish their identities and this often means testing the limits of parental controls. When it comes to drugs and alcohol, pushing the boundaries can lead to dangerous territory.

Setting clear rules about substance use helps give teens the structure they need to stay safe. Let’s be realistic: You can’t guarantee that your rules won’t be broken. But research shows that kids who have clear rules are less likely to get into serious trouble than kids who don’t. Even when the rules are broken, teens whose parents have clearly outlined what is and isn’t acceptable are less likely to run to extremes and more likely to make safer choices.

So, you need to have the talk, but for a lot of parents initiating a potentially difficult conversation is daunting. A few guidelines can help get the ball rolling and make for a smoother, more productive experience for all.

Plan to Have the Talk

Springing a serious conversation on your teenager can make her feel ambushed and defensive. Give her a heads up before hand and make sure to be clear about what the conversation will entail, so everyone can be on the same page. “Tomorrow night let’s have a talk about drinking and drugs. You’re not in trouble. I just want to talk about where we stand and hear any concerns you might be having.”

Spell Out the Rules

Clearly spell out your rules and the specific consequences of breaking them. Avoiding ambiguity lets your teenager know where you stand, and research shows that kids tend to be safer when parents set limits. And for kids who are being pressured to do something they aren’t comfortable with, it can make it easier for them if they know they can use their parents as an excuse for saying no.

Explain Your Reasons

Be very clear about your reasons for prohibiting substance use. Teenagers are often ordered to do things without being given a clear reason why, and by explaining yourself you’re inviting them to have a more open, adult conversation.

The potential consequences of drinking and using drugs are

real. Any kind of experimentation is illegal when you’re a teenager, and it’s dangerous.

Be honest and rational. Obviously, some illegal substances are more dangerous than others. Heroin is more perilous than pot. But any substance can be harmful: one beer is intoxicating but 10 beers could be deadly.

Any substance use impairs judgment and kids are more likely to find themselves in problematic and potentially dangerous situations like driving drunk or having unwanted or risky sexual encounters. It can affect them in school, too. If they get caught, it could go on their record — something they won’t want when they’re applying to colleges — and if they play sports they could be cut from the team.

Obey the Golden Rule

Speak to your kids the way you’d like to be spoken to. Teenagers are acutely sensitive to condescension, and it’s important to remember that at the end of the day they are the ones who will make the final decisions. Treat them like the adults you want them to become. By showing respect, you’re modeling good behavior and letting them know you expect them to act responsibly, not just for your sake, but for their own as well.

Let Them Speak

Give kids a chance to express their concerns and feelings. They may have been hoping for a chance to ask questions or check in about something troubling. Opening an equal, active dialogue will increase the chances that your teen will feel comfortable being honest with you in the future.

The ‘I learned it from you, Dad” Dilemma

Parents sometimes feel hypocritical hiding their own experiences. If your daughter asks if you’ve ever tried drugs, you can choose to keep your experiences private (not everything in your history needs to be available to your kids) or to share them, but don’t reminisce or otherwise glamorize your experiences. You can also explain that as a parent, it’s your job to help them avoid things they will regret, and substance use definitely increases the chances of doing something you will regret.

Conditional Amnesty

What we want, first and foremost, is for kids to be safe. Being open and honest with your kids about drugs encourages them to reciprocate. One way to create safeguards for your teen is to have an “amnesty policy.”

In an amnesty situation, your child can call and ask for help without incurring the regular repercussions she might if she’d tried to hide her behavior. Amnesty policies keep kids safe and encourage them to make appropriate choices without letting them off the hook.

For example: If your daughter (or her designated driver) is drunk at a party and she wants to leave, she can call you and ask for a ride or cab fare instead of putting herself at risk. She’d

then be allowed to come home and go to bed without yelling or grounding. In the morning you and she could have a talk about her drinking and safety.

An Ongoing Conversation

Talking to your teen about substance abuse should be a process, not a single event. Risk factors for substance use can change and multiply as teenagers weather the trials and pressures of adolescence Keep an eye out for changes in your child’s mood and demeanor, shifting peer groups, and other signs that it might be time to check in about their safety and your expectations.

Make sure they know your conversation is an open-ended one, and that it’s a two-way street — “I’m going to be checking in with you about this sometimes, and if you have any questions or concerns you can always ask me, too.” Keeping the lines of communication open will help you and your teenager feel engaged and safe during a potentially turbulent time.

Featuring:

• Recreational Gymnastics: Beginner to Advanced

• Competition Teams: USAG

• Gym-Tots (3-4 years)

• Gym-Kids (5 years)

The Child Mind Institute is committed to providing up-to-date, authoritative and actionable information. Visit www.childmind. org to learn more. www.BuffaloTurnersGymnastics.com

Five Expert Tips to Help Teens with ADHD

— by Cheryl Maguire

Igot detention for forgetting my book three times in a row,” read Michael’s text. His mother wasn’t surprised. Michael was diagnosed with ADHD when he was eight years old, and she’s received other messages saying he misplaced or even forgotten to do his homework. His mother hoped that he’d be more organized by 13, and she wonders if this is typical teenage behavior or if it’s due to his ADHD.

“Everyone has ADHD behavior at times,” says Dr. Sarah Cheyette, a pediatric neurologist and author of the book, ADHD & The Focused Mind

Cheyette says the difference between a person with ADHD and other people is that the person with ADHD is unfocused too much of the time.

“There are differences between a child and a teen with ADHD,” Cheyette says. When a younger child has ADHD, parents tend to be more forgiving and helpful with their unfocused behaviors. A teen with ADHD may want their independence but lack the skills to focus and control their impulses. This can lead to more severe consequences than when they were younger. But parents can help their teens with ADHD improve their focus.”

DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE AUTISM?

Specia l N eeds

P otential Growth

Strategies

Five Ways to Improve Focus for Kids with ADHD

1) Positive Thinking

When a teen is interested in doing a particular task, it will be easier to accomplish. “Most people become more focused when they decide they want to do something,” says Cheyette. “If you say to yourself, I don’t feel like doing this, then you probably won’t.” For example, if your teen doesn’t like doing homework, encouraging them to change their mindset can help improve their focus. Reframing the negative thought (“I don’t want to do my homework”) in a more positive light (“Finishing my homework will make me feel good about this class”) can help a teen become more focused and complete the task.

2) The Right Surroundings

We’re here to help.

Emily, a parent of a 14-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD, has found that choosing the right environment helps her son’s mindset. “I encourage him to stay after school to do his homework,” she says. “This way he doesn’t become distracted by things at home, like his phone, and he can receive help from his teachers.”

3) Healthy Lifestyle Choices

Cheyette also stresses the importance of a healthy lifestyle for improving and maintaining focus. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercising can all contribute to improved focus for teens with ADHD. Sleep problems can lead to issues with memory and impulse control for any child, but especially kids with ADHD.

Jen, parent to a 12-year-old daughter diagnosed with ADHD, agrees with Cheyette. Her daughter experiences intense mood swings and an inability to deal with stress when she doesn’t eat or sleep well.

4) Setting Goals

Cheyette says that setting goals can help teens with ADHD improve their focus and achieving their goals will help them feel successful. As a parent, you may be tempted to provide directions or nag your child to make sure they are working towards their goals, but it’s important for teens to actively set and own their goals.

But you can still help them. “Make observations and ask questions,” Cheyette recommends. “If you notice your son’s backpack is a mess, instead of saying, ‘You need to organize your backpack,’ try saying, ‘It must be difficult to find your homework when your backpack looks like this’ or ‘How are you able to find your homework?’”

Once you’ve framed the problem, she says, “Ask questions such as, ‘How can you help yourself?’ or ‘How can you act differently next time?’ to allow your child to think about and own their behaviors.

5) Medication

Like younger kids, teens can benefit from medication. Amy, parent of a 15-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD, bought her son a trampoline to use after school to help him release his energy. And the exercise was helpful. But she saw the most improvement when her son began taking medication. “Once he was medicated, he could use self-regulating strategies,” she says. “Before that, he wasn’t able to learn these strategies since he couldn’t pay attention.”

Cheyette wants to remind parents that you are your child’s best advocate and the parents interviewed here agree. “The best advice I can give other parents is to tell them that there may be really bad times, but your child needs to know that you are in their court,” Jen says. “When your child feels like a failure or has no friends, or school is horrible, they need to be able to come home to you and release their frustrations and emotions.”

Note: Names have been changed for privacy

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Grown and Flown, Your Teen Magazine, and many other publications. This article was originally published on Your Teen.

The sooner you recognize the signs of autism, the sooner you can help.

IRISH SODA BREAD

Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, FISH, SHELLFISH, WHEAT, GLUTEN, VEGAN

Everyone’s a little Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. When I was a child, we’d wear green, eat something green, and more often than not, say “No, thank you” to the heaping servings of cabbage that were offered on this unique holiday. Now cabbage is one of my favorite foods; back then not so much.

A little green food goes a long way, unless it is natural, like lettuce, green beans, or broccoli. I think some people take the green food concept a little too far. Green eggs may be fun in a nursery rhyme, but I’d rather not eat them. There are fun foods you can make in keeping with the green theme that your children will enjoy. Following are some suggestions, and a recipe for Irish soda bread. Happy St. Patty’s Day!

A few ideas:

Try some authentic Irish recipes. Below is a recipe for soda bread; a few others to try are Irish stew, Shepherd’s pie or boxty (also called Irish potato pancakes.)

If your family enjoys cabbage, try colcannon. It’s a mix of mashed potatoes, cabbage, and leeks. There are also recipe variations using kale instead of cabbage.

Create a platter of green fruits, such as kiwi, grapes, green apples and honeydew. Or make little fruit shish kebabs with cut fruit and toothpicks. Serve an assortment of raw green vegetables — celery, pepper, snow peas, cucumber, or asparagus. Try a green dip; guacamole may not be Irish, but it’s naturally green and a kid favorite. Make a green gelatin mold. Add green food coloring to crisp rice cereal treats. Cupcakes with green frosting. Use a shamrock shaped cookie cutter to make shamrock cookies.

Shakes and smoothies with a bit o’ green are also a hit.

Yield: 8-10 servings

Prep Time: 10 minutes

CookTime: 60-70 minutes

4 cups flour (or gluten free flour mix)

1/3 cup sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt

2 cups raisins or currants

3 T oil + 3 T water + 2 t baking powder, mixed together (instead of 2 eggs)

1 1/4 cups non-dairy milk + 1 tablespoon cider vinegar or 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice (instead of buttermilk)

1 cup dairy/soy free margarine, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9-inch round cake pan. In a mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and raisins. In a small bowl, blend oil/water/powder mixture, non-dairy buttermilk, and melted margarine. Stir the liquid mixture into flour mixture just until flour is moistened. Knead dough in bowl lightly — grease hands if desired as dough will be sticky.

Place the dough in the greased pan and pat down. Cut a deep slit in the top of the bread, in a cross shape. (This step is both traditional and practical.) Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 60-70 minutes. Cool about 5 minutes, and turn bread onto a wire rack to cool.

If you have any questions about our column, e-mail Kathy at allergy@roadrunner.com. For further information about food allergies, contact FARE (www. foodallergy.org), or call 1-800-929-4040.

Kathy Lundquist is a Western New York parent whose son, now an adult, was born with severe food allergies. Over the last two decades, she has worked tirelessly, in a variety of capacities, to increase community awareness about food allergies.

THE KIDDIE GOUR ME T

— by Barbara Blackburn

Amira’s Rotisserie Chicken served with pita and garlic sauce gathers gourmets of all ages, including kids. The kids’ menu, under 12 years, $9.00 price, offers a #4 Combo, featuring 1/4 chicken served with rice or fries and choice of corn or beans. Kids can go Middle Eastern here with the #3: Beef Kefta with Basmati rice. Otherwise, the #1 means Chicken Nuggets with French fries or #2 Grilled Chicken Tenders with Basmati rice or fries.

Amira’s Kitchen

894 Tonawanda Street Buffalo, NY 14207

716-262-0013

amiraskitchenny.com

~ SPOONS ~ FOOD 4/5

SERVICE 5/5

FAMILY FRIENDLY 4/5

feta ($9.00 alone) earned my tastemaker award. The Falafel sounded better than what appeared on the plates: crispy fried vegan patties made with ground chickpeas, fava beans, onions, and herbs, served with tomato and cucumber slices, pickles and turnips. I would have rated it higher if they had not been so black looking. Our charming proprietress assured us that the clients like falafel that way.

RAISING DIGITAL KIDS continued...

scan your child’s texts, social media messages, and emails for signs of cyberbullying, suicidal thoughts, and other concerning behaviors. This is my go-to recommendation for parents.

Let’s talk about Kefta — links of flavorful beef. The Kefta Plate, on the adult menu ($19.00), showcases rice with vermicelli, fried almonds, and touch of cinnamon. It’s that touch of cinnamon that proclaims the signature flavor. A little learning here: Basmati is an aromatic long-grain rice that originates in the foothills of the Himalayas. If not included with your dinner or lunch choice, you can order it as a side for $5.00. The black or red beans can also be ordered as a side ($5.00). They partnered perfectly with olive oil and homemade tomato-based soup, in which they are cooked.

Although not a vegetarian, I often gravitate to the Vegetarian Combo ($15.00) with the five favorites — Hummus, Tabouli, Baba Gannouj, Falafel, and Dawali, served with Tahini dressing. Chick peas, eggplant, and grape leaves, a.k.a. Dawali, lead the culinary parade. Describing the Dawali, I’d say the rolled grape leaves stuffed with rice, tomatoes, and parsley, topped with

Dad gravitated toward the the Lamb Kabob Roll — grilled seasoned lamb, topped with tomatoes, greens, turnips, pickles, and Tahini dressing. We love those fermented accompaniments, lending such authenticity to the main course, in this case the lamb. The roll met up with the touted Zaatar, a blend of oregano, thyme, sesame seeds, and sumac, coating the accompanying fries.

My fondness for Arabian coffee was satisfied with the Pot ($6.00), serving three espresso cups. Dad chose one of Amira’s Smoothies ($5.00). His Tropical Wave, made of mango, guava, pineapple, banana, yogurt, and honey looked more like Wacky Berry of blueberries, strawberries, and banana.

Amira’s Sahlab ($5.00) served as dessert. Amira said it was orchid root instead of cornstarch, combined with the hot milk, orange blossom water, sugar, coconut milk, and nuts. What an excellent winter classic drink!

We enjoyed the happy sounds of the kids’ birthday party in progress for part of our visit. Both kiddie gourmets and adults seemed to be reveling in table time at Amira’s, and so were we.

2. Net Nanny: Net Nanny is a parental control app that allows you to set limits on your child’s internet use and block inappropriate content. It also includes features that claim to detect cyberbullying and other online dangers.

3. Norton Family: Norton Family is a parental control app that allows you to monitor your child’s online activities and set limits on their internet use. It includes features that claim to detect cyberbullying and other online dangers. Again, it’s important to be aware that these tools may not be completely reliable and may not be able to detect all forms of cyberbullying. It’s also important to talk to your child about internet safety and encourage open communication so that they feel comfortable coming to you if they are being bullied online.

Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google Innovator, and possible Starbucks addict. He is a certified educational technology leader who has served in a variety of roles through his twenty-year career in public education. Currently, Mike is the Director of Technology for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School district in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning.