September 2020 by Western New York Family Magazine

VOLUME 37, #7 SEPTEMBER 2020

FREE!

Back-ToSchool but NOT Back to Normal

FAMILY TRAVEL

Delightful ITHACA

Making The Most Of Remote Learning

INSIDE: The Fit Family • Choosing Childcare • Wellness Choices

2 WNY Family September 2020

September 2020 • Volume 38 • Issue 7

EDITOR & PUBLISHER Michele Miller GENERAL MANAGER Paul Kline SALES REPRESENTATIVES Jennifer Staebell Paul Kline

Where It’s At! Back to School Features:

GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Karen Wawszczyk Melanie Schroeder

Back-to-School But NOT Back to Normal by Michele Miller

CONTRIBUTORS Barbara Blackburn • Donna Phillips Richard De Fino • Deborah Williams Kathy Lundquist • Myrna Beth Haskell Mike Daugherty

Parenting in a Pandemic: Tips for Parents by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.

/WNYFamily

Visit Our Web Site www.wnyfamilymagazine.com To Reach Us: Advertising Department advertising@wnyfamilymagazine.com Calendar Submissions calendar@wnyfamilymagazine.com Subscriptions subscriptions@wnyfamilymagazine.com Editorial Submissions michele@wnyfamilymagazine.com MAILING ADDRESS: 3147 Delaware Ave., Suite B Buffalo, NY 14217 Phone: (716) 836-3486 • Fax: (716) 836-3680 PRINTED BY: Commercial Printing Division The Post-Journal, Jamestown WE ARE AN AUDITED PUBLICATION CIRCULATION (copies printed): 20,000 © 2020 Western New York Family, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form without permission is strictly prohibited. Inclusion of an advertisement does not constitute an endorsement by the publisher. PRINT SUBSCRIPTIONS: MAILED FIRST CLASS, IN AN ENVELOPE SAME DAY ISSUE IS DELIVERED FROM THE PRINTER: $28 one year, $52 two years, $75 three years. Phone & online orders accepted with credit cards. Gift subscriptions available. Single copies & back issues by mail, $2.50. IF YOU MOVE: Missed issues will not be replaced if we do not receive an address change before issue mailing date.

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3 Steps to Managing Back to School Coronavirus Stress by Pam Moore

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The World Changed Overnight: Now It’s Education’s Turn by Jean Paul Paulynice, MBA

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Rethinking Education for Changing Times by Randy Ramos

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10 Ways for Moms to Have More Energy by Sarah Lyons

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Is There an App for That? by Kimberly Blaker

Regulars: 5 n Web Finds / What’s New In The Kid Biz 16 n Raising Digital Kids Making the Most of Remote Learning by Mike Daugherty 22 n Family Travel The Many Delights of the Ithaca Area by Deborah Williams

24 n Journey Into Fatherhood Sheltering in Place by Richard De Fino 25 n Parent Previews Sci-Fi Movies for Kids by Kirsten Hawkes 26 n Dear Teacher by Peggy Gisler & Marge Eberts 28 n Pick of the Literature by Dr. Donna Phillips 30 n Single Parenting Put Your Kids to Work! by Diane Dierks, LMFT 32 n Special Needs Is Your Child Not Paying Attention? Maybe Words Don’t Make Sense by Krystyann Krywko, Ed.D. 36 n Tweens and Teens Now That You’ve Given Them Wings by Myrna Beth Haskell 46 n The Kid Friendly Kitchen Yogurt Dip & Bean Dip by Kathy Lundquist 47 n The Kiddie Gourmet The Bayou by Barbara Blackburn

Directories: 18 n 38 n 40 n 47 n

The Fit Family Wellness Choices Choosing Childcare Let’s Party

You’ll find FREE courtesy copies of WNY Family at all Buffalo area Wegmans and 300 locations including Public Libraries, Doctors’ Offices, Child Care Centers and many of our advertisers. (IMPORTANT NOTE: We have a brand new distributor and magazines may now be placed in different spots at each Wegmans store. Exact placement details are still being worked out at press time.)

Find this entire issue online at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com September 2020 WNY Family 3

4 WNY Family September 2020

web.finds POCKIT LIGHTWEIGHT FOLDING STROLLER

This is the 2014 Guiness World Records most compact stroller, folding down to 11.8” x 7” x 13.8” and a weight of 9.5 pounds. It can hold a child from 6 months up to 55 pounds as well as 11 pounds of gear in its convenient storage basket. It’s available on Amazon and has an average of 4.5 stars out of 1967 ratings. Be sure to watch their video at: https://amzn.to/3aGtkWo

THE WILLA WALKER

It’s a simple yet smart tool that makes learning to walk even more fun for toddlers while saving adults the back-pain from always having to bend over to help them. Gabe Cohn, a mechanical engineer by trade, invented the Willa Walker in his garage after babysitting his cousin’s daughter Willa. It’s made from sustainable hardwood, heavy-duty cotton straps (adjustable to 3 heights), and coconut oil. A portion of each sale is donated to environmental charities. Check out their videos at www.willawalker.com

LAY-N-GO ACTIVITY MAT

This play mat allows for quick and effortless clean-up of small toy pieces. No more dumping bins and baskets. The patented raised lip keeps Lego® and other toys contained on the play surface. Store special pieces in the 4 mesh pockets. Pull the drawstring, and the Lay-n-Go® completely closes. The wide strap makes it easy to carry, hang, and store. It’s machine washable, too. Learn more at https://www.layngo.com/products/lay-ngo-large-60-blue

TOUCHLESS FOREHEAD THERMOMETER

In this age of Coronvirus, no family should be without a touchless thermometer. There are many varieties at many price points, and right now they are in good supply. This particular thermometer works for babies through adults, and even gives a clear reading in the dark so you can monitor your child while he/she is sleeping. We liked the fact that it takes regular AAA batteries, which are easy to find, unlike the discshaped batteries. With an average of 4.5 stars out of 1,711 ratings, you can find it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/3g19zK4

What’s New... IN THE KIDBIZ HALF OF PARENTS REPORT CLASHES WITH GRANDPARENTS OVER PARENTING STYLES Cookies for breakfast, staying up late, and maybe a little more TV than usual. For some families, what happens at grandma’s house stays at grandma’s house. But for others, clashes over parenting choices and enforcing parents’ rules can cause major strife between a child’s parents and grandparents, a national poll suggests. Nearly half of parents describe disagreements with one or more grandparent about their parenting, with 1 in 7 going so far as to limit the amount of time their child sees certain grandparents, finds the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health at Michigan Medicine. Disputes most commonly involve discipline (57%), meals (44%), and TV/screen time (36%). Other thorny subjects: manners, safety and health, bedtime, treating some grandchildren differently than others, and sharing photos or information on social media. “Grandparents play a special role in children’s lives and can be an important resource for parents through support, advice and babysitting. But they may have different ideas about the best way to raise the child and that can cause tension,” says the poll’s co-director Sarah Clark. Discipline was the biggest source of contention. Among parents who report major or minor disagreements, 40% say grandparents are too soft on the child, and 14% say grandparents are too tough. Some disagreements may stem from intergenerational differences. For example, grandparents may insist that “the way we used to do things” is the correct way to parent. New research and recommendations on child health and safety may also lead to disagreements if grandparents refuse to put babies to sleep on their back or do not use a booster seat when driving grandchildren to preschool. In many cases, parents have tried to get grandparents to be more respectful of their parenting choices and household rules. These requests have mixed results: while about half of grandparents made a noticeable change in their behavior to be more consistent with how parents do things, 17% outright objected. — Source: University of Michigan September 2020 WNY Family 5

Back-To-School but NOT Back to Normal — by Michele Miller

in-person and virtual learning with health and safety precautions in place; and 16% said children should not return in September and instruction should continue via distance learning until a vaccine becomes available. District administrators have chosen the hybrid model. According to the Governor, schools must also have had three to five public meetings prior to August 21 with parents — who will have participated remotely — as well as one meeting with teachers to go through their reopening plan. “Parents have to be included and believe the plan makes sense,” said Governor Cuomo. “Teachers have to be included and believe the plan makes sense.” He added, “They are the ultimate determination.”

estern New York Family is in its 36th year of publishing and, in all those years, there has never been a back-toschool season like the one we are about to face. The usual articles about getting organized for the first day of school, how to establish a good rapport with your child’s teacher, or ways you can volunteer in your child’s classroom just don’t seem as relevant under circumstances caused by a pandemic. The articles we offer this September are very different — and we hope thought-provoking. As I sit down at my computer to write this in early August, Governor Cuomo has just announced that schools in New York State are allowed to open in September, on the condition that there isn’t a spike in the infection rate before then. Reopening plans submitted by schools have to be approved by the Board of Health, which also has the power to disapprove the plans, if they find them lacking. Given the complicated guidelines that must be satisfied to do as much as possible to keep students, teachers, and all other staff safe, formulating those plans is no easy task. At an August 7th news conference, the Governor said that out of the 749 districts in New York State, 127 districts still had to submit their plans and 50 more were not complete. The 6 WNY Family September 2020

Governor also announced that school districts must post their remote learning plan online as well as their plan for testing and tracing students and teachers. If you are a parent of a school age child this, most likely, is not news to you. You have probably already participated in a survey by your school or school district about whether you deem it safe to send your child back to school at all, and which of three plans you would choose. The results of the Williamsville Central Schools’ parent survey has been posted on their website. With 3,900 parents responding, the majority (48%) said that children should return as normal (full classes) with health and safety precautions in place; 38% said children should return in September with a hybrid plan of

“If a teacher doesn’t show up, you can’t open the class,” he continued. “If a parent doesn’t send their child, there’s no child to educate.” The logical conclusion is that by the time you read this article, plans may have changed greatly due to the input from these meetings and the Board of Health’s decisions. In fact, due to the Governor’s late addition of new requirements making districts responsible for working with the Erie County Department of Health to ensure contact tracing and COVID-19 testing, both the Maryvale and West Seneca districts will begin the school year with remote learning only. As I write this, many suburban districts still have plans to go with a version of the hybrid model, with the student body being broken down into two groups (or more) or as some schools have designated, “houses.” This allows the total

Regardless of health and safety precautions, do you believe school:

SHOULD return as normal (full classes) with health and safety precautions in place (1,877)

16%

48% 36%

SHOULD return in September as a hybrid of in-person and virtual learning instruction with health and safety precautions in place (1,389) SHOULD NOT return in September and instruction should continue through distance learning until a vaccine becomes available (611)

Source: Williamsville Central Schools

number of students attending on any one day to be cut approximately in half, allowing for social distancing. One group will attend school in person, for example, on Monday and Thursday while the other group will attend on Tuesday and Friday. Virtual learning takes place on the group’s alternate two days, and Wednesday will be virtual learning for all. Virtual learning can be synchronous (live) or asynchronous (done without real-time interaction). The Buffalo Public Schools is looking at a hybrid version with 2 groups, each attending on alternating days with Group 1 attending in person 3 days the first week and 2 days the next week; Group 2 attending in person 2 days the first week and 3 days the next, and continuing in that pattern. Remote learning is possible but “digital inequity” is a problem for a portion of the city’s students. According to news reports, teachers are not in sync with the plan. Private schools may offer a totally different scenario. According to the plan posted on their website, Mount St. Mary Academy plans to offer full in-person learning five days per week. Because of their large 34-acre campus and student body of only 250, The Park School will also be in session full-time. My grandchildren attend school in the Webster Central School District, in a suburb of Rochester. My granddaughter, who will be entering 3rd grade, will attend school every day in person for either a morning or afternoon two-hour session, as will all K-5 students. My grandson, who is in middle school (Grades 6-8), will follow a hybrid plan similar to that mentioned above, attending in person two days a week, supplemented on two other days by remote learning. Twentyfive minute synchronous (live) classes with each of his middle school teachers will be held remotely on Wednesdays. The difficulty with this arrangement, as pointed out by my daughter, is that she has friends who are teachers with their own young children who live in the Webster district, but who teach in the nearby Pittsford Central Schools, where K-5 students will attend in person for 4.5 days per week, not 5 half days like Webster. Working parents, teachers or otherwise,

Think you might homeschool? If you choose to do your own homeschooling, you can work with your children on your own schedule and within one that also works well for them — even if it’s evenings or weekends — rather than trying to coordinate Zoom meetings or real-time sessions with teachers from your school district. But, homeschooling is not a simple choice to make. There are many rules and regulations that must be followed with approval by the New York State Education Department, records to be kept, and quarterly reports to be filed with your district’s superintendent. Just doing a Google search for possibilities made us dizzy, but here’s a summary of what we found. If you do choose an online program, make sure it is New York State approved before registering. RULES & REGULATIONS http://www.nysed.gov/ New York State Education Department http://www.nysed.gov/nonpublic-schools/home-instruction Homeschooling on the State’s website falls under “home instruction” — they don’t make it easy to find! https://bit.ly/33yJqja This link will take you to the actual NYS Education Law on Home Instruction. http://www.nysed.gov/nonpublic-schools/home-instructionquestions-and-answers Frequently asked questions and answers https://www.onlineschools.org/elementary-school/ This website offers a good overview of online education. ONLINE EDUCATION SITES https://www.time4learning.com/homeschooling/new-york/ This site was easiest to understand, with demonstration lessons and the ability to start, stop, or pause when you want; with monthly payment amounts clearly displayed. https://www.connectionsacademy.com/ This site is getting ready to launch a New York approved version. We’ve seen local television commercials for it. https://www.k12.com/online-public-schools.html Tuition-free online public schools in some states; unfortunately only the tuition model is currently available in New York State. https://www.varsitytutors.com/school-at-home Replace school entirely or supplement school with online teachers for a portion of the time; offers “school at home pods” – register as a group, attend small group classes together (check to see if this complies with NYS laws). https://www.powerhomeschool.org/homeschooling-by-state/new-york/ This site is New York approved but seemed to provide the least information up front.

continued on page 43 September 2020 WNY Family 7

— by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.

regular school day is the opportunity to interact socially with classmates. Now that they’re at home, let them keep in touch by calling and texting their friends and engaging with them through social media. As Dr. Chelsea Hyde, an educational psychologist, says, “Give them a chance to connect with peers during their breaks, like they would during recess and lunch at school.”

Be Flexible and Adaptable

Parenting In A Pandemic:

Tips For Parents

here’s nothing easy about parenting in a pandemic. Many parents are working from home while at the same time taking care of their kids and supervising their remote learning. No one knows when the pandemic will be over, so it’s worth thinking about how parents can best support their kids during these new and unprecedented circumstances. Here’s what the experts say:

Keep Your Regular Routines The most important thing parents can do is to provide their kids with a sense of safety and security. Experts agree that the best way to do that is to keep as many of their regular routines as possible. “Providing children with a structure is always important,” says Dr. Andrea Giedinghagen, a child psychiatrist, “but during scary times like this it becomes even more essential.” Dr. Giedinghagen notes that “having a set schedule and regular routines provides them with a sense of safety when so much about their world is changing.” Try to maintain your normal routines, especially those that bring you together, like family dinner time, and game or movie nights. 8 WNY Family September 2020

… And Create New Fun Ones Create new routines like taking daily breaks from your work to do fun things together. As Dr. Jennifer Malatras, a child psychologist, puts it, “A moment of laughter with your kids is going to be much more impactful and remembered during these times than any math homework.” If the kids are young, get down on the floor and play with them. If they’re older, spend some time just hanging out and talking about what’s on their minds. “Taking a kind and playful approach to these difficult times,” says Dr. Irina Sharaievska, a family researcher, “can help ensure that two years from now you’ll refer to this time not as a pandemic, but as a time when you finally got to know your family.”

Encourage Social Interactions With Friends It may be tempting to insist that your kids be offline during their breaks since they spend so much of their days behind a computer screen, but that’s not necessarily the best idea. One of the things that kids miss the most from their

Routines and social breaks are important, but so is staying flexible and adaptable. A structured day “helps kids get through the unusual challenges of this time,” says Annie Schiener, a family therapist, but “your flexibility models an essential coping tool.” For example, if you receive an important work email in the evening just when you’re about to do something fun with the kids, explain to them that you may have to reschedule it. This will teach them to be flexible and adaptable and may in fact help them cope better with all the constant changes in their lives.

Focus on Positive Behaviors There’s a tendency to nit-pick and focus on irritating or annoying things that your kids are doing when you’re all cooped up in the house together: try to avoid that. “What seems like annoying behavior may sometimes be your child’s/teen’s way of coping,” says Dr. Richa Bhatia, a child psychiatrist, “and is often unintentional.” For example, if the kids are teasing each other, it could be a sign that they’re frustrated and miss their regular interactions with friends from school. Focus on positive behavior and praise them for it, like getting up early every day, working hard on their schoolwork, and helping out with chores. “Praising your kids and letting them know you appreciate their effort,” say Drs. Leslie Roos and Jessica Flannery, clinical psychologists, “pays over time by promoting more positive behavior and enriching your relationships.”

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Give Lots of Hugs Everyone feels the effects of social isolation, especially the kids. Comfort them by giving them as many hugs as you can. “When everything is crazy on the outside,” says Rebecca Parlakian of Zero to Three, an organization that promotes healthy child development, “children need love on the inside.” Dr. Giedinghagen agrees: “Physical affection cements feelings of connection and safety for children.”

Teach The Kids Life Skills “Every cloud has a silver lining” is an old saying. The current pandemic is no exception. Use this extra time you suddenly have with the kids to teach them some important life skills. Look for teachable moments during your everyday routine. “Do you need to make dinner? Teach your kids how to cook,” says Dr. Gwen Dewar, a psychologist. “Got dirty clothes? Teach your kids how to do the laundry.”

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Be Gentle With Yourself Finally, be gentle with and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. As Dr. Giedinghagen sagely puts it, “Give yourself permission to do this less-thanperfectly, and to ask for help when you need it. None of us have ever parented through a pandemic before, and none of us have ever been taught how to do it.” Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences & Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.

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— by Pam Moore

3 Steps to Managing Back to School Coronavirus Stress

or parents and children alike, the beginning of the school year elicits both anticipation and anxiety, even under the best circumstances. The prospect of returning to the classroom in the middle of a pandemic is enough to make anyone lose sleep. We talked to Chandra Lontz-Smith, licensed professional counselor and owner of Genuine Heart Counseling in Longmont, Colorado to find out how kids — and grown-ups — can manage back-to-school nerves.

Acknowledge your child’s feelings According to Lontz-Smith, who works with children ages three and up as well as adults, we must acknowledge that anxiety amid uncertain circumstances is normal. Amid this uncertainty, we need “someone to be there with us in the midst of whatever we are feeling.” That means allowing our children to feel whatever they are feeling, no matter how big or uncomfortable it is. “One of the best gifts we can offer our kiddos,” she explains, is “listening and validating these feelings, even if we, as parents, have a different perspective of the situation.” Modeling our willingness to feel our feelings helps to show our kids that their emotions are valid. “An example would be noticing one’s own anxiety, saying it out loud, and then sharing how we are taking care of ourselves in the midst of it.” For example, you might tell your child you’re feeling worried so you’re going to take a walk or call a friend. 10 WNY Family September 2020

Lontz-Smith also reminds us that anxiety often triggers kids’ irritability and anger. But, “with warmth and caring, the anger will often melt into the worries and fears underneath.”

Practice Self-Care It’s essential to make sure we are taking care of ourselves so we have the energy to take care of our kids when they need us. Lontz-Smith encourages parents to focus on the basics, including exercise, sleep, staying connected to friends, or seeing a therapist. At its most basic, self-care can be as simple as breathing. “Sometimes the best thing we can do is just to pause and notice it’s going on,” explains Lontz-Smith, adding, “this helps us see the bigger picture, find clearer direction, and feel empathy, among other supports.”

Communicate One of the best ways to avoid the dreaded “drop-off drama,” says Lontz-Smith, is to be clear about expectations — and give your child the space to express their concerns. “Helping children to understand what to expect and letting them know what you and their teachers are doing to keep them safe can alleviate some of the anxiety,” she explains. “Also, giving them time to share worries or questions, and supporting their creative solutions can help them feel like they have some influence over the situation.” Keep in mind that sometimes your child just needs to feel heard. “Often just listening through a good cry (or maybe several) without trying to fix or do anything can help relieve a child of the tensions and anxiety they feel inside.” Meanwhile, says Lontz-Smith, there’s a particular “under the radar” type of stress we need to consider — navigating social dynamics while wearing masks and social distancing. Coronavirus precautions rob us of the many of the non-verbal cues we rely on to navigate social dynamics. This can be not only emotionally challenging for kids, but increased stress is known to interfere with learning. Lontz-Smith encourages us to “feel into these subtle situations or at least get curious about them, and then name them.” For instance, teachers can acknowledge that masks can be distracting and how nice it would be for life to return to the way it was before coronavirus. As she puts it, “It helps normalize the experience.” Pam Moore helps women push through fear to become their best selves. To get her free guide to crushing Impostor Syndrome visit pam-moore.com. This article was originally published in The Boulder Daily Camera.

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The World Changed Overnight: Now Its Education’s Turn The Case For Social-Emotional Learning in Schools and How We Get it Done

Understanding, Managing & Communicating Emotions

— by Jean Paul Paulynice, MBA

ith the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, economic uncertainty, the fight for racial equality, and a significant disruption to our children’s daily routines, parents and educators have their hands full. From distance learning to basic everyday activities, our kids are coming of age in a new, ever-evolving world, a world significantly different from the one we grew up in. Status quo academic education and old-guard ideals will not be sustainable. Before our collective worlds were turned upside down and inside out courtesy of the biggest pandemic to hit our planet since the 1918 Spanish Flu, our kids were already dealing with the perils of highly publicized gun violence and the mental health challenges that come with their enmeshment in social media. The world has been in rapid flux since it has been spinning, but things have reached a fever pitch, and the circumstances that surround us are merely symptoms. The systemic illness is the neglect of emotional intelligence quotient development in school-age children. Afterall, children become our next generation of adults. Navigating elementary school, middle school, and high school requires a greater breadth and depth of education that academics alone cannot provide. The 2020s are the decade where the rubber meets the road; this time requires social12 WNY Family September 2020

To be specific, there are eleven components to a successful social-emotional learning curriculum that must be taught from kindergarten through the twelfth grade, and these elements are just as important to the success of each child and to the success of our species, as math, science, history and English language arts.

emotional education and the building of “EQ” or emotional intelligence quotient in school-age children. For this, we need an addendum to the Common Core curriculum that public schools across the United States have come to rely on. We need a parallel social-emotional education curriculum in all our public schools. A recent article published in The Guardian titled, “Emotional Intelligence: Why it Matters and How to Teach It” echoes these sentiments, describing emotional intelligence as covering the five main areas of “self-awareness, emotional control, self-motivation, empathy and relationship skills.” The article goes on to state, “It is, of course, important for good communication with others — and is therefore a gateway to better learning, friendships, academic success and employment.” A 2016 Psychology Today article asserts, “When you teach kids emotional intelligence, how to recognize their feelings, understand where they come from, and learn how to deal with those emotions, you teach them the most essential skills for their success in life.” Plainly put, if you want children and adolescents to value their education, to value their futures, to value themselves and to value one another, a social-emotional learning curriculum is not an “add-to” or an outlier educational concept. It is essential.

Emotions are their own language, just like English, Spanish, or French, and therefore require attention and mastery to learn and interpret in a healthy way. Another Psychology Today article, titled, “Emotions as a Second Language, Or Should They Be Our First?” explains emotional literacy as “being able to feel, identify, and adaptively use one’s feeling states. This emotional fluency enhances emotional self-regulation, lessens over-reactivity to negative emotions such as anger, and is the basis of interpersonal emotional modulation.”

Learning to Set & Achieve Individualized Goals Many studies have been conducted to establish the correlation between long-term goals and short-term decision making, and how a substantial long-term goal can incentivize people to make better short-term choices. Yet, common sense tells us that when young people can establish a worthy enough long-term goal that they perceive as achievable, they protect that goal by making wiser, more well thought out, short-term decisions to safeguard their future.

Learning to Work & Play Well with Others It may sound elementary, and in fact, it is. One of the greatest lessons that children should take away from their elementary school years is the ability to feel empathy for their peers, and to learn the value of teamwork, sharing with others and learning healthy forms of socialization. The elementary school years teach us how to interact and socialize in a healthy way. But we need to take this one step further. Instead of simply instilling behavior modification through devaluation — “If you don’t share your toys, the other kids won’t want to play

with you” — social-emotional learning curriculum would instead teach the child that the fear of lack (as in there aren’t enough good toys to go around) should be replaced with love-driven behavior. In other words, the more positivity I put out into the world, the more good things will come back to me. This instills an abundance mindset rather than a lack mindset (there are more than enough good toys to go around).

Learning to Make Independent & Positive Choices How many times have we heard that old parental cliché line, “If your friends were jumping off the Empire State Building, would you do it too?!” You laugh, but peer pressure is the analogous equivalent of how a virus operates in the body of someone with a weakened immune system; it completely takes over. Peer pressure will never go away, but we can inoculate our kids by instilling the importance of listening to and trusting their own intuition, and learning to trust their own opinions and ideas when they differ from their peer groups’ opinions and ideas. Children with a healthy sense of self tend to be independent thinkers who make more positive choices.

Identifying Their Unique “Superpower” Children love superheroes, from Marvel and the Avengers to their favorite sports figures, a parent, grandparent, or even an older sibling. They are hungry for role models, people to emulate and to juice their sense of imagination and inspiration. A child’s own sense of self begins with observation of the prototypes around them, and it is a healthy part of their development process. In emotionally healthy children, this should eventually give way to the child being able to identify what his or her own superpower is; something they bring to the world that is unique to them. A TIME Magazine article titled, “The Secret to Happiness is Helping Others,” declares that “scientific research provides compelling data to support the anecdotal evidence that giving is a powerful pathway to personal growth and lasting happicontinued on page 40

September 2020 WNY Family 13

Rethinking Education for Changing Times

Education is on the cusp of a paradigm shift, and COVID-19 is the push we need to leap forward, say experts. Learn how maximizing career and technical education infrastructure, and adapting virtual learning in a smart way, can help students graduate high school with real-world, job-ready skills.

he way we prepare young people for the workforce has needed rethinking for a while. As technology accelerates rapidly, employer needs are shifting in tandem. Schools have been working hard to make the needed transition. But now there’s a new urgency. With the pandemic exposing vulnerabilities in the current system, major budget cuts hitting school systems across the U.S., and more families worried about paying for college in today’s economic climate, it’s clear education is on the cusp of a paradigm shift. Randy Ramos, CEO of Global Business Solutions, Inc. (GBSI), and founder of hybrid online learning system ACCELETRAIN® says the upheaval caused by COVID-19 makes now the perfect time to figure out how all the pieces fit together. “In a way, the pandemic has been the final ingredient in a perfect storm,” says Ramos. “Sometimes events force our hand and push us to take a quantum leap into the future — and this is one of those times. “Winston Churchill advised not to let a crisis go to waste,” he adds. “As we navigate this time of intense transition, we’d be smart to take a step back and ask: What can we learn from what we’re going through right now? How can we optimize the high school years? How can we better prepare our young people for the work world of the future?” 14 WNY Family September 2020

While Ramos doesn’t claim to have all the answers, he says the education system that gets the best results for everyone will likely feature a) a much greater emphasis on middle and high school career training and b) a hybrid approach to in-person classroom and distance learning.

the U.S. In fact, they are now a major pillar of the American education system. CTE is the perfect entry point for the next generation of classroom learning, says Ramos, whose company ACCELETRAIN has just completed its first Cybersecurity CTE Class for 7th and 8th graders in Santa Rosa County, Florida.

“For middle, high, and post-secondary students, career skills development along a pathway to employment is essential,” says Ramos. “While in school, that pathway needs to provide achievement credentials that can be applied to continued/advanced education and/or employment opportunities. Both could have a ‘laddering’ model.”

“Twenty-five students are scheduling to take the Florida CAPE CompTIA IT Fundamentals + Remote Certification Test,” he says. “Of eight students who have taken the test, five have achieved certification. These are middle school students so this is an amazing accomplishment — and it just goes to show how effective CTE programs really are.”

So why is now the right time to rethink how we educate our kids? Ramos says there are several reasons:

“We just need to make sure to maximize our CTE courses,” adds Ramos. “To be at their most effective, they need to meet certain well-established criteria.”

Increasingly, the workplace demands a “just-in-time” skill set. Technology changes are outpacing

academic churn, and that’s creating a worrisome skills gap. High schools need to make sure the skills they’re teaching students are the ones that matter in the work world. That means partnering closely with industry to ensure that curriculum is truly up-to-the-minute.

We already have a great infrastructure in place. Career and tech-

nical education (CTE) programs are already well established (and increasingly popular) in school systems across

“Virtual” work has become mainstream. We’ve seen the busi-

ness world quickly adapt to the online model. Education won’t be far behind.

Thanks to quarantine homeschooling, most students have just had a “crash course.” Virtual learning is here to stay at least in some capacity. The key is to make sure we’re using the technology at our disposal in a way that works for students. “With COVID-19, many teachers, parents, and kids were thrown into the fire,” he says. “And as we’ve seen, the online set-up schools cobbled together out of desperation doesn’t work well for everyone. Many kids need the structure of a teacher showing up live, on screen, at a predictable time of day. Education programs that had that format in place had a much easier time with the disruption.”

More students are looking for ways to avoid unsustainable levels of college debt. Most need to come

out working. Ramos says students who graduate with the right certifications can easily make $30,000 a year or more straight out of high school. So how do we move forward? Ramos says it’s important to roll things out in the right order: First, we must get the program and content right and make sure classes are tied to viable industries. Then, we must get the methodology right so it provides an effective learning experience. Then, we need to infuse it into existing school programs. “If we’ve learned one thing from this pandemic, it’s that the education field is made up of smart people who genuinely care about their students,” says Ramos. “It’s a heartfelt thing. They are deeply committed to finding a way forward that makes sense for everyone and sets students up for success. It’s that attitude that gives me a lot of hope for the future of education.”

Seven Components of a Good CTE Program To be at their most effective, CTE programs should meet the following criteria:

1) Curriculum is connected to viable industries and highly marketable, future-facing skills. “Tech

is a natural option,” says Ramos. “Five

middle school students in Santa Rosa County, Florida have recently achieved a cybersecurity industry certification through ACCELETRAIN’s program. And 25 more students are about to take the test. These students are gaining valuable, marketable skills at a very young age. Their future is bright.”

2) Real-world business and industry are heavily involved. Indus-

try experts should serve as trainers, so learning is up-to-the-minute and practical. Programs should also incorporate hands-on learning, extracurricular activities, internships, and so forth.

3) The program leverages the benefits of distributed learning. The best programs start with the

familiar and engaging teacher and student classroom environment and apply technology as appropriate. This speeds competency and accelerates workforce readiness.

4) The online component is teacher-led, not student-led. Instruction takes place in real time. Students tend to do better when

a live person shows up at a predictable time each day on the screen. Traditional online offerings put the onus on students, which doesn’t always work well.

5) It employs a good mix of teachers and industry experts. When done properly, a CTE pro-

gram helps solve the problem of teacher shortages in certain areas and improves access to teacher professional development. “For example, subject matter experts might spend the first year training the teachers so they can take over the instruction later,” says Ramos.

6) Schools that get it right are rewarded. Where there are certifica-

tions available, incentivize schools to help ensure a good pass rate. (When students pass the certification test, the school gets the money they spend back and the teacher gets a bonus.)

7) It allows students to walk into a well-paying job after high school. Students should graduate with

very specific skills and a certificate that’s highly valued in the workplace.

About Randy Ramos: Randy Ramos is CEO of Global Business Solutions, Inc. (GBSI), a Pensacola-based information technology and cybersecurity company serving DOD, government, and commercial companies. Randy’s advocacy for industry engagement in education to graduate qualified cybersecurity professionals is evident in GBSI’s technology innovations and his community engagement. Transforming how industry, government, and academia collaborate in workforce development to achieve cradle-to-career success is fundamental to the company’s strategic initiative. Randy has helped secure over $25M in cybersecurity education grant funding. Randy is an avid speaker on cybersecurity, learning technologies, and accelerating competencies in the competitive global economy. About Global Business Solutions, Inc., and ACCELETRAIN®: As an employer of IT and cybersecurity professionals, Global Business Solutions, Inc. (GBSI), saw the critical need for an experienced and skilled workforce as early as 2013. At that time, GBSI began building community awareness and working with postsecondary institutions, emphasizing the need for a workforce development pipeline that would equip students with essential skills and certifications to immediately obtain jobs upon graduation. What started as a collaborative relationship between academia and GBSI has morphed into ACCELETRAIN® Cybersecurity Career and Technical Education (CTE) Program — the first cybersecurity program developed to meet growing cybersecurity workforce needs. Courses are offered in sequence so students can earn stackable certifications. When students complete the program, they can graduate high school prepared for college or directly enter the workforce earning salaries as certified cybersecurity professionals in the $50-55,000 range with no student loans. For more information, visit http://gbsi. com and https://acceletrain.com. September 2020 WNY Family 15

RAISING DIGITAL KIDS — by Mike Daugherty

children. I believe having students get dressed for the day increases the importance of learning at home. You’ve set the expectation that kids will treat remote learning like it was in-person learning. Doing school work in your pajamas devalues the work and flies directly in the face of that expectation.

Environment Matters

Making the Most of Remote Learning

he reopening of school continues to be a hot topic of conversation across the country. Most school districts are looking to offer multiple options for families in the fall. The three primary models are all-in, hybrid, or remote learning. The all-in model is essentially school, as usual, with some additional safety precautions in place. The hybrid option can take many forms, but the core is that a portion of the students are in classrooms while the other students connect to school from a remote location. The remote learning model provides students with synchronous (live) and asynchronous (recorded) instruction via various technologies. Families are being asked to choose a learning environment that best suits each families’ needs. There are some families in which remote learning is the only viable choice until a vaccine is available. Let’s look at the best ways to make the remote learning experience better for the students in your household. These suggestions are designed with younger students in mind (K-6), but they can be applied to students of any age. Set High Expectations The overwhelming response from parents was that remote learning in the spring was acceptable. It was not great, 16 WNY Family September 2020

but because schools had to move to remote without much warning, the experience was tolerable. Expectations for virtual learning in the fall are much higher. Many school districts will have a set schedule for students to be online for each of their classes. Attendance will be taken, and there will be consequences for missing class. Students will be held accountable for missing or subpar work. Remote learning will not be the virtual learning environment that schools provided in the spring. The expectations you set for remote learning in your home is critical to its success. Explain to your children that you expect them to treat remote learning the same way as in-person classes.

Set a Routine

Research has shown that children crave structure. Kids had a daily routine they would follow when school was in session, pre-COVID. Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, arrive at school, and start learning. The routine for remote learning should be similar. Children should expect to wake up at a designated time, get dressed, eat their breakfast, and prepare to do their school work. If your school does not have a set time for remote learning to begin, I would strongly encourage you to establish one for your

Setting up the best place for your child to do their school work can be challenging. The kitchen table or somewhere similar can be noisy and filled with distractions depending on who else is working from home. It is convenient, especially when they need help, but it does not lend itself to concentration. I would suggest setting each student up in a quiet location, like a spare bedroom. Shut the door, and they’ll have a distraction free environment where they can focus on the task at hand. Be aware that your child is working alone in the same, quiet location for long periods. Please encourage them to be self-sufficient, but make sure to set a schedule to check on them. Also, make sure to build in small breaks. Teachers refer to these as “brain breaks.” Brain breaks are short, five to ten minutes, where kids get up and move around. They work to get oxygen flowing to the brain, release stress, and re-energize them. Search YouTube for “Brain Breaks” and ask your kids to choose one or two each break. Turn the volume up and let them wiggle.

Be Prepared

Make an effort to check students’ daily work to see if there are any materials they need for their assignments before starting their day. I’ve spoken with several educators who intend to include a daily materials list for parents at the start of each day. Gathering those supplies and having them ready should make it easier for you and your learners.

Identify Barriers

Once the school year begins, sit with your student to identify the barriers to their learning. It will be essential to determine their struggles quickly so that they do not become overwhelming. Some students will need social-emotion-

al help, such as an extra hug or pat on the back for a job well done. Others may need additional structures in place to keep them on task. Regardless of the issue, it will be on you to help them overcome it. One of the best ways to address these barriers is to search online for advice. When I think about my own kids, what works for one seldom works for the others. There isn’t a magic bullet that will solve all your problems, but I would bet there is someone who has had a similar situation at home and has shared what worked for them online. Don’t reinvent the wheel. Find different ways to motivate, refocus, or support your child and try them out.

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Students may need help communicating with their instructors if they do not understand the content. Remember that these students receive much fewer contact hours with their teachers than they did while in the school building. In the past, getting help was as simple as asking a question in the moment, in the hall, or at the end of class. Be prepared to guide them on receiving support from their instructors in a remote learning environment. Help them seek out the answers. Are there opportunities for one on one instruction? Does the teacher offer office hours? Are there other support systems in place at the school? Older students should advocate for themselves without much intervention, but this can be difficult for younger kids. Some may disagree, but I think there are times when it makes sense for parents to step in and do this for their child. This is one of those times. Be a champion for your child.

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In Conclusion

These are unprecedented times. Public education is going to look different for the foreseeable future. Parents will have tough choices to make. Whatever learning model you choose for your children is your choice. Respect other’s decisions and encourage them to respect yours. Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google Innovator, and possible Starbucks addict. He is a certified educational technology leader who has served in a variety of roles through his twenty-year career in public education. Currently, Mike is the Director of Technology for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School district in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning. September 2020 WNY Family 17

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Yogi Kids: Nurture Focus, Self-Esteem, Fitness with Yoga

BUFFALO TURNERS GYMNASTICS

— by Christa Melnyk Hines

any adults swear by the ancient practice of yoga for stress relief; to improve flexibility, balance and strength; and to enhance daily focus. With playful names like downward dog, cat, cow and gorilla, yoga poses easily inspire the imagination of the younger set. Libbey York enrolled her sons Graham, 8, and Lawson, 4, in a children’s yoga class last summer thinking they could meet friends and try something new. Their response surprised her. “They couldn’t stop talking about all of their new moves and practicing their poses all around the house,” she says. Graham likes practicing seated crossed-leg pose, and Lawson loves to show off his tree pose. In addition to enhancing her sons’ flexibility and strength, “the class improved their focus and body awareness as they attempted the poses,” says York, who is also a yoga practitioner and instructor. Linking mind and body. Yoga, which in Sanskrit means “to yoke,” nurtures a connection between the mind, body and spirit. Balancing poses like airplane and tree, for example, strengthen muscles and also require mental focus and concentration to achieve and hold. Overall, multiple studies have found that yoga can help kids improve academic performance, physical fitness, self-awareness, self-esteem, concentration, emotional balance and behavior. Slow down and breathe. In a “Stress in America” survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, more parents than non-parents report that they struggle to manage the stress of jobs and family responsibilities. Since children pick up on the tensions of their caregivers, they may internalize more stress, too. Multiple studies have found that yoga offers effective stress relief for all ages. “In this fast-paced world in which we live, children need to know how to relax and breathe and mindfully move through

continued on page 21

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YOGI KIDS continued... their day,” says yoga instructor Katy Henderson. “Teaching children how to breathe in yoga allows them to take that crucial breath before they get mad, angry or frustrated.” Focus power. In a study conducted by School Psychology Review, researchers found that regular yoga practice can help children with attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) learn to calm their minds and focus on the present, improving on-task time and attention. And thanks to the proliferation of distracting electronic devices, even kids who don’t suffer from ADHD can benefit. The mindfulness techniques that yoga practice offers can help kids re-focus on the present and concentrate on tasks like homework and chores that require their undivided attention. Strike a pose. According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 12 million kids between the ages of two and 19 years old are considered obese. Yoga offers a gentle way to get kids moving, strengthen muscles, improve flexibility and practice gross motor skills. “For the child who is not particularly active, yoga provides an avenue to move in a playful, engaging way,” Henderson says. Spread the love. “Yoga fosters self acceptance and actualization. It invites all participants to improve concentration and focus, and even helps develop self-compassion and compassion for others,” writes Kristin Henningsen, adjunct professor at Kaplan University School of Health Sciences in her report “The Benefits of Yoga for Children.” Pauline Emmett, a YoKid Ambassador, agrees. “In practicing yoga, children experience better self-esteem, and therefore have the confidence to trust themselves as being strong and capable beings,” she says. “We talk about self-love, and how if we love ourselves we can better care for our friends, family and the world.” Search “yoga for kids” on YouTube and you’ll get plenty of videos to get you started right in your own living room. This could be the perfect way to keep kids busy during social distancing while helping them increase their overall fitness.

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Christa Melnyk Hines is a freelance journalist and mom of two boys who love to attempt head stands. Her favorite yoga poses are triangle and warrior. Christa is the author of “Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.”

Introducing Kids to Yoga

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Start your child’s day off with some simple stretches and end the day with three deep belly breaths before bed.

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Purchase or borrow a yoga video geared toward kids.

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Role model and invite your kids to join you during your yoga practice.

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Look for classes and workshops in your area.

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Lead your child through a few simple yoga stretches and breathing exercises before homework time to help with focus and concentration.

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Tell stories using yoga poses.

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The Many Delights of the Ithaca Area

FAMILY TRAVEL — by Deborah Williams

orges and waterfalls; alpacas, goats, and osprey; wineries and hiking trails; home to nearly 30,000 students at Cornell University and Ithaca College — all this and more define Ithaca on the southern shore of the 38-mile-long Cayuga Lake, the longest in the Finger Lakes. Best of all, for ice cream devotees (and doesn’t that include all of us), the city can claim title to the first documented ice cream sundae in the United States. It was served in a pharmacy on April 3, 1892, which was a Sunday of course. It was served to the Rev. John M. Scott after services at the Unitarian church. Stop at Purity Ice Cream at the corner of Meadow and Cascadilla for wonderful sundaes and other ice cream creations. It bills itself as “the ice cream of the Finger Lakes since 1936.” Just a couple hours’ drive from Buffalo, this most family-friendly city makes a perfect weekend getaway. The Ithaca area boasts a number of well-known area state parks including Buttermilk Falls and Taughannock Falls. All offer campsites and cabins for rent. Keep your park receipt because one $8 admission fee allows access to other parks on the same day. Go early because there are limits on admission and people will be turned away if the limit is reached. 22 WNY Family September 2020

Buttermilk Falls State Park takes its name from the foaming cascade formed by Buttermilk Creek as it flows down the steep valley side toward Cayuga Lake. A natural pool forms at the base of the falls near the Lower Park entrance. The spring-fed pool is cool and relaxing on a hot summer day. Alas, during a recent two-day visit it was closed for swimming because of a high bacteria count. The upper park has a small lake, hiking trails through woodlands and along the gorge and rim, picnic areas, and playing fields. The lower park also has a campground, pool, and playing fields. Between 1912 and 1920, the movie industry flourished in Ithaca. The gorges were backdrops for many films. Some segments of Perils of Pauline were filmed in Buttermilk Glen. Taughannock Falls State Park boasts the tallest free-falling waterfall east of the Mississippi. With a drop of 215 feet, it’s 33 feet higher than Niagara Falls, but with a much smaller volume of water. This summer’s heat and low rainfall means it is even smaller than usual. Don’t miss the view of Taughannock Falls from the Falls Overlook — the gorge creates a natural amphitheater that holds in the dense spray that rises from the bottom of the falls and shrouds the lower part of the cataract in mist.

There is a visitor center and a hiking trail up here. The shoreline of the park drops off sharply making this area a great congregating space for many different types of Lake Cayuga fish. Lake trout, yellow perch, and landlocked Atlantic salmon are all common species. There is a swimming area and kayaks, canoes, and paddleboards for rent along the shore of the lake. Nearby is a large children’s play area. Stewart Park is a free lakefront city park that was originally a track of land granted to Andrew Moody, a Revolutionary War soldier. It was later developed as a park until it closed in 1915 and was

then used as a silent movie studio for the next four years. It later became a city park named in honor of Mayor Edwin Stewart who championed the lakefront site. “It is a disgrace to our city that there is not a place where Ithacans and their guests may go to enjoy our lake without trespassing on private property,” Stewart declared. He would be proud of today’s park that includes an accessible children’s play area, tennis courts, a duck pond, a spray pool, a golf course, a bird sanctuary, picnic tables with grills and a prime spot for watching the sunset over the lake. Children of all ages can get excited about nature at the free three-acre, award-winning Children’s Garden that recently reopened. It is designed with one goal in mind: to inspire the next generation of environmental stewards. Everything is all about the kids. A highlight of the garden for many young visitors is the innovative Hands-on-Nature Anarchy Zone where kids can dig for worms, play with water and clay, build forts out

of straw bales and stumps, climb trees and get muddy, wet, and dirty while exploring their connection to nature.

related items including yarn. The award winning alpacas’ blue ribbons cover the walls.

About ten minutes from Taughannock Falls is a wonderful jewel — an alpaca farm that welcomes visitors to meet these magical, other-wordly creatures. Cabin View Alpacas is a special place in many ways. The land overlooking Cayuga Lake has been in Christine Houseworth’s family since her ancestor was given the land by the U.S. government after his service in the Revolutionary War.

Want an up close experience with goats? Visit the Lively Run Diary, one of the country’s longest operating commercial goat dairies. It has pioneered goat cheese in the American marketplace. Visitors can visit the goat barn and enjoy a cheese tasting. There is a small shop selling mostly goat cheese.

She and her husband David operate the farm. Her early ancestors were one of the first to grow grapes on what is now the Cayuga Wine Trail and raised sheep that grazed in the pastures. Today there are about 50 alpacas grazing in the same pastures including about a half dozen super cute babies who are raised for their incredibly soft coats. Farm tour visitors learn about the history and habits of these animals who hail originally from Peru. All have names and the owners know them all — Ginger Spice, Crown Victoria, Cricket, Liberty Belle, and Sweet Pea’nut are just a few. They are very gentle and mellow. At the end of the tour, I fed some of the males who were very polite and waited their turn for their share of the treats. There is a small gift shop with alpaca

The owners Steve and Suzanne Messmer, their two sons, Pete and Dave Messmer and business partner, Katie Shaw, own the dairy. They were upset when area dairy farmers were forced to dump milk after losing their traditional markets during the pandemic and came up with a perfect solution. “We devised a plan to buy the milk with the help of donations and turn it into cheese and then donate it to food banks,” explained Steve Messmer. “It has proved to be a win for everyone.” A cruise on Cayuga Lake is a mustdo and Discover Cayuga Lake offers cruises on board the MV/Teal. Although cruises are limited this season, the new Osprey Eco Cruises quickly proved quite popular. The lake’s burgeoning orprey population has grown to rival any population in the Northeast. continued on page 35 September 2020 WNY Family 23

Sheltering In Place

ith only a few months remaining in 2020, I have to say that so far the year has been pretty stressful for me and Andrea in regard to her pregnancy. After losing Louis in 2019, the expectation of having a full-term pregnancy with our rainbow baby has been railroading us emotionally and keeping us up at night. And on top of all the normal milestones that expectant parents look forward to — the first sign of belly bump, first kick, gender reveal — we had our own exclusive set of milestones that we needed to reach. First, we had to secure our place with a Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist at Children’s Hospital. After that, there was the cerclage surgery in March, with the final milestone being that we needed to make it to Andrea’s viability date in May (24 weeks), which is the gestational period that would give her the highest probability rate for preemie survival. Luckily, we have checked all three milestones off our list. But if there were one thing that really stressed us out this year while we were waiting for our sweetheart to arrive, I would definitely have to say it’s that new global pandemic. You know, the one that shut the world down overnight, forcing us to limit our time spent outdoors, cover our faces behind masks, and remain six feet apart at all times. Yes. That pandemic. When Coronavirus first made national landfall, I wasn’t too concerned at 24 WNY Family September 2020

first because we had gone through something like this before — SARS, Bird Flu (H1N1). But after more and more people began to become infected, and with no obvious indications that the virus was going away any time soon, I started to worry. With a mysterious virus right outside our front door, I was nervous to share a living space with my immunocompromised wife. And, at the time there weren’t any studies conducted yet on the direct effects on pregnant women by Covid-19, so even being in separate rooms made me nervous. But, one could assume that if she had contracted the virus, it would be devastating to the pregnancy. Also, with talks of vaccine trials possibly slated for the following year, I felt completely hopeless; not to mention, I was working in a hospital with Covid-19 inpatients as well. It all felt like a nightmare. Since I was working in a hospital with Covid-19 inpatients, I knew I had to be vigilant in my efforts to stay safe and keep myself protected, as I was in constant fear of bringing the virus home and passing it on to Andrea and the baby. I worked 10-11 hour shifts, 5 days a week in a building packed with hundreds of people, so I had to be consistent with my daily routine in order to keep everyone at home safe. My routine was simple; keep my mask on at all times, constantly wash my hands, follow up with sanitizer, and be sure to change my clothes and shower

when I got home, ensuring that nothing from the outside could harm what was so sacred to me on the inside. On March 22nd, with tensions and fear continuing to rise in America and grocery store shelves being still stripped bare, New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo signed his executive order “New York State on PAUSE,” which deemed all non-essential workers to stay home, which included Andrea. I honestly felt as if the executive order being put into place was another major milestone for us and the pregnancy. Knowing that Andrea would be working from home where she would be exposed to the least amount of people possible was one less thing for us to worry about, and we were both very grateful to have that opportunity. On April 27th, we had our first baby appointment after the pandemic first impacted us nationally. We were there for a routine checkup and ultrasound, but before we could enter the building, we first had to be screened downstairs in the lobby. After receiving a successful temperature check and a complimentary face mask, followed by a generous dollop of foam hand sanitizer, we were then granted access inside. I was used to doing this 5 days a week for work, but it was all foreign to Andrea. After our appointment ended, we sat in the ultrasound room for a minute before we left. With our faces hidden behind yellow surgical masks, we looked at each other, and nervously laughed as we tried to adjust to our new normal, continuing to prepare for our baby whose arrival we await this month. Richard De Fino, a freelance writer by night, first became a father at age 34. After losing his first-born at birth, he was determined to keep his memory alive the best way he knew how; through words. And with another baby on the way, he plans on capturing what it means to be a parent to a rainbow baby. Richard and his wife, Andrea, live in Western New York with their memories of Louis, and their dog Zeke, and two cats, Bebe and Georgie.

Making Media Entertainment An Easier Choice For Families

Sci-Fi Movies for Kids Many of us love science fiction movies like the Star Wars or Star Trek films but are leery of sharing them with our kids. Luckily, there are plenty of science fiction movies that are perfect for kids in a wide range of ages. These are some of our favorites.

PARENT PREVIEWS

Astro Kid (2019, Rating: PG)

This charming animated movie didn’t release theatrically in the US, which we think is a shame. It’s a decent, if unexceptional, story: a spaceship inhabited by a family is hit by an asteroid and young Willy’s escape pod lands on a remote planet. To hang on until his parents can find him, Willy must rely on his survival robot, his new alien friend, and his own wits. With only a few moments of extreme peril, this movie is suitable for preschoolers, as long as they’re not too easily frightened. This movie stands out for its stunning visual design, combining Dr. Seuss-type imagination with vivid colors and computer animation.

OVERALL RATING: A

VIOLENCE: (B) LANGUAGE: (A)

SEXUAL CONTENT: (A) ALCOHOL / DRUG USE: (A)

City of Ember (2008, Rating: PG)

For two hundred years, humans have lived underground to protect them from the apocalypse. The Builders left instructions on how to return to the surface, but they were lost. The city of Ember is now creaking under the weight of its aging infrastructure and corrupt government. When young Lina finds the instructions – torn and damaged – she tries to piece them back together and works with her best friend, Doon, to find their way out of Ember. But the Mayor has his own reasons for blocking their exit and it’s not going to be easy to save the city. Benefitting from its stellar cast – Saoirse Ronan as Lina and Bill Murray as the Mayor – City of Ember is a fascinating film for older kids. (Parents won’t hate it either.)

OVERALL RATING: B+

VIOLENCE: (B-) LANGUAGE: (A)

SEXUAL CONTENT: (A) ALCOHOL / DRUG USE: (A)

The Iron Giant (1999, Rating: PG)

Annoyed that the TV antenna doesn’t seem to be working, young Hogarth Hughes sets off with his BB gun to find the culprit. He’s astonished to find a metal-eating alien who is electrocuting himself by eating electrical towers. Turning off the switch and cutting the current saves the alien, and Hogarth and the Iron Giant become friends. Hogarth decides that the local junkyard is the perfect place for his pal to find metallic munchies and all is well until federal agents come looking for the alien. With a compelling plot and Cold War setting, The Iron Giant is a classic in family sci-fi filmmaking. Recommended for older kids, teens, and parents.

OVERALL RATING: B

VIOLENCE: (B-) LANGUAGE: (B)

SEXUAL CONTENT: (A) ALCOHOL / DRUG USE: (B+)

The Last Mimzy (2007, PG)

For siblings Emma and Noah, the cache of objects seems like a lucky find. Floating stones, a glowing rock, and a floppy-eared stuffed rabbit are fun additions to their toys. But these are no ordinary playthings. Within weeks, Noah stops struggling at school and begins drawing elaborate mandalas and designing elaborate science fair projects. Emma develops even more unusual abilities – mind reading, levitation, and moving objects with her mind. More to the point, Emma insists she can communicate with the rabbit who she says is called Mimzy. Soon, Emma is taking instructions from the rabbit and directing Noah to build a bridge to the future. This is a fun sci-fi adventure flick for older kids and families.

OVERALL RATING: B+

VIOLENCE: (B-) LANGUAGE: (B)

SEXUAL CONTENT: (A-) ALCOHOL / DRUG USE: (A)

September 2020 WNY Family 25

DEAR TEACHER – by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts

Helping all parents make their children’s educational experience as successful as possible

arents: The COVID-19 virus continues making it a very difficult time to get the best possible education for your children. Many schools have opened this year with at least some portion of online learning. There seems to be close to universal agreement that online education on the elementary level, whether full- or part-time, is not nearly as effective for children as being in a classroom. If your children are participating in online learning, there are things that you can do to make learning more effective for them: 

Parents need to work with their children to establish a structured daily routine for online learning especially if children are not in an online classroom with a teacher at definite times.



Parents or a caregiver will definitely need to sit and help younger children much of the academic day when they are online to make sure that they stay engaged.



Parents need to check online frequently to make sure that their children are turning in their assignments and have passing grades. Make sure that children at all levels can access their online assignments and classrooms.

26 WNY Family September 2020



Children should use their computers in a room with limited distractions where you can observe frequently what they are doing.



Children should have all the necessary supplies that they will need for their academic day online right at their fingertips to avoid the disruption of getting up and looking for them. Teachers are still beginning to learn how to teach online lessons. And they vary greatly in their ability to present educational materials effectively to their students. Thus, students do not always stay engaged through an entire lesson.

Since classroom education ended abruptly last year, your children probably have gaps in their education. Unfortunately, most classes are going to be beginning with the new grade’s curriculum. Even the best students may find it rough going at the start of this school year. Students in regular classrooms can seek help from their teachers and so can online students. However, both may need to find extra help through websites, their parents, or tutors. If your children’s elementary schools are open either full- or parttime, it is imperative that you continue talking to your children about following the safety rules

every day. This will help teachers focus more on educational activities rather than spending considerable time teaching and enforcing safety precautions. At home, check frequently that your children, especially the younger children, are wearing their masks correctly. Observe them wearing a mask from time to time to make sure that they are keeping their hands off the masks. It is equally important that younger children know how to wash their hands and/or use hand sanitizer or disinfectant wipes. We suggest that you watch them do this before every meal to ensure that they are doing this correctly. As long as this COVID-19 pandemic lasts, parents and caregivers are going to need to give their children extra guidance so that they will get the best possible education.

Homework Time Shortcuts

Question: My children in elementary and middle school spent way too much time on homework before their school went online. How much time should they have been spending? Are there any shortcuts that could lessen their homework time when school resumes? – Too Much Time Answer: One dividend of online schooling was that most students found their homework time reduced as much of it was done during online classroom sessions. However, you are definitely right that your children were probably spending too much time on homework before they went to online schooling. Just about every study done on homework time reinforces your view. Teachers routinely exceed the most common recommendation of 10 to 20 minutes of work for first grade. And this amount of time should grow by 10 minutes for every year in school. This means the third

grader should be working no more than 30 minutes and the seventh grader no more than 70 minutes. And the recommended time limit for high school seniors will be 120 minutes. The unfortunate fact about homework time is that children who exceed or greatly exceed the recommended homework time limits do no better on standardized tests than those who are closer to the recommended time limits. At first, homework assignments serve the purpose of establishing responsibility. Later on, they should be reinforcing classwork. And Harris Cooper, psychology professor at Duke University and an expert on homework, would also like to see a bonus question that prepares students for the next day’s classwork. In some school districts, the value of homework is limited to 20 percent of a student’s grade. Where the effect of homework on grades is minimal, parents may want to stop their children from working too long on homework. Of course, this should be discussed fully with the teacher. Also, it is very smart for parents to work with their school’s parent/teacher organization to set up a homework time policy. Some schools will only assign four nights of homework a week.

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Perhaps, the best shortcut in limiting homework time is for students or students and parents in the early grades to get out all assignments and make a plan about the order in which they will do the assignments. Another shortcut is for students to skip problems that truly stump them after they study similar problems in textbooks and notes. These are likely to be discussed in class so students get a grasp on them, or they can be taken up with the teacher. Another effective homework shortcut is for students to have a planner with their work placed where it belongs, as well as having homework assignments clearly listed. This stops time being wasted looking for materials needed for homework or trying to find out what their assignments are. Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher.com or to the Dear Teacher website. September 2020 WNY Family 27

PICK OF THE LITERATURE — by Dr. Donna Phillips

ho ever could have imagined back-to school looking like this? Are we? Aren’t we? How are we? How long will we? The questions go on and on. One thing we do know is that education will continue for our children either face-to-face, virtually, or a combination of the two. While many of you have already experienced the “joys” of managing teaching while working from home, one thing is for sure… there will always be books, either in your hands or on your screen for you to read to and/or with your children. The publishers finally have begun to ramp up production and more and more titles will be available soon. Here are just some of the most recent books that might suit your needs or your child’s interests. A fun workbook for your 1st grader is from the Ready to Learn series. First Grade Reading Writing Math (Silver Dolphin, San Diego, 2020, $12.99) is a fun and entertaining way to engage your child in games and activities that introduce them to the foundations of Math, Reading, and Writing. This colorful interactive workbook will help them develop curiosity and confidence as they move into formal instruction. Keep in mind, this book is designed to be guided by an adult and is a fun way to engage in the conversations and questions which can arise. Not only 28 WNY Family September 2020

will this inspire your child, it might also inspire you as you watch your child learn and grow. The All Star Readers series, also published by Silver Dolphin Books, is another wonderful resource if you have beginning readers in your household. There are numerous titles and topics available to you and your children to engage and advance them in their reading skills and interests. Designated by “levels” of Aspiring Readers, Early Readers, Developing Readers, Engaged Readers, and Fluent Readers, there is sure to be the perfect book for the needs and interests of your young readers. Two new books in the Discovery division of this series are for the Level 1 reader. I Am a Dolphin (Silver Dolphin, San Diego, 2020, $4.99) and I Am a Penguin (Silver Dolphin, San Diego, 2020, $4.99) are just right to welcome your child back to learning and school. Look for more on this nonfiction collection online or in bookstores. If you have a child who has yet to understand the need to wash their hands often and after certain activities then, I Don’t Want to Wash my

Hands (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, New York, 2020, $8.99), written and illustrated by Tony Ross, may be just what you need. This short and to the point book makes it very clear that germs are everywhere and they can make you ill. Just like many young children, the Princess did not seem to think that playing in dirt, playing with the dog, or sneezing into her hands was that much of a problem. That was until the Maid made it very clear that “germs are everywhere.” Watching the star of this book come to the realization that washing hands is important will be a humorous lesson for all who read it. Remember when comic books were not allowed in school and not considered “real” reading? Well… guess what? They were wrong and you were right! They are not only a kind of reading, but they are also a creative and powerful way to engage children who are visual learners or prefer alternatives to more traditional forms of print. Over a number of years this comic book format has evolved into what is now called the “graphic novel.” But don’t let that term “novel” fool you. There are many books in this format that are nonfiction, even though told in a story form. Three new titles in this format for your older readers are perfect for the Social Studies curriculum. The Show Me History series is a wonderful way to engage your older student who may be interested in

history but maybe not a fan of reading traditional books. The fascinating story of Benjamin Franklin: Inventor of the Nation (Portable Press, San Diego, 2020, $12.99), written by Mark Shulman and illustrated by Kelly Tindall, is sure to interest anyone who reads it. This book tells and shows the remarkable accomplishments and lasting influence of this remarkable man. Once your child is introduced to Franklin they might be interested in reading more in this series. You might want to consider Martin Luther King Jr.: Voice for Equality (Portable Press, San Diego, 2020, $12.99), written by James Buckley Jr. and illustrated by Youneek Studios or Susan B. Anthony: Champion for Voting Rights (Portable Press, San Diego, 2020, $12.99), written by Mark Shulman and illustrated by Kelly Tindall. Now more than ever it is important that our children know the history of this great nation and these books are a wonderful way to introduce them to the men and women that helped to make it that way. We are certainly living in interesting times and how we prepare our children for the future, whatever it may be, is essential for the survival of the family, our educational system, and our nation. Capable, informed children, who can read, write, compute, communicate, and think, will be one of the most important things that will result from this “experiment.” Reading will be one of those most essential skills that our children will need to be able to sift through information and data. But never forget the power of a good book to inspire and help create compassion and empathy. Those may be the most important attributes that our children will need as we move ‘boldly where no man has gone before.” Dr. Donna Phillips is an associate professor in the College of Education at Niagara University, where her specialty is literacy and children’s literature. She lives on Grand Island, NY and is the mother of two adult children and the grandmother of one. September 2020 WNY Family 29

what we see, and 90 percent of what we do, it makes sense to first explain what you’re going to teach, give a demonstration, then allow the child to perform the task. It will be easy for you to tell and demonstrate. The toughest part will be allowing your child to do it. If your child makes a mistake, don’t draw attention to it. Calmly guide him or her in the right way. Stay with your child until you are sure he can do it alone. Then walk away and allow him to learn on his own.

Put Your Kids to Work!

he conattack — becomes SINGLE PARENTING cepts of very important, very teamrewarding to the — by Diane C. Dierks, LMFT work, loyalty, and member. It provides dedication are basic to teaching children what he has not obtained from his fampersonal and social responsibility, but ily, in school, or elsewhere in his commany single parents today wonder if munity.” they can effectively meet the challenge. These concepts are still true today. As old-fashioned as it may sound, a strong work ethic in the home goes a long way toward fostering these values. Not only do practical household skills prepare children for the rigorous workplace, it gives them a simple proving ground to test complex situations and ideas they will inevitably encounter in adulthood. These ideas are best expressed through implementing an effective work system for your children.

Why do children need to work? Because being a team member in a family is important. Serving others is important. Belonging and being needed and valued is important. Malcolm W. Klein, in his 1997 book The American Street Gang, talks about one of the reasons our youth were increasingly becoming involved in gangs in the 90s. He said “Belonging — having the status of gang membership, the identity with a particular gang, the sense (correct or otherwise) that in the gang there is protection from 30 WNY Family September 2020

Give your children the chance to belong at home, not just because you exist as a family, but because there is something in the family that is worthwhile — something that makes them feel like valuable members. This can be accomplished through a structured family work system. Before you can teach household skills, you must remember to: 

Have proper materials close by



Teach by demonstration



Stay calm and patient



Start simple and move toward more difficulty

Make sure your kids know where to get the materials they need. If you keep the cleanser under the bathroom cabinet, show them where it is. Since we remember only about 10 percent of what we hear, 50 percent of

It is very important you communicate to your child what your standards are. If you expect the bathroom counters, toilet, carpet, and tub to be spotless, say so. Don’t leave it up to them to interpret what “clean the bathroom” really means. Praise your child for doing a good job, but don’t give praise when the child has failed to comply with your standards. Calmly point out that the mirror is still a little smeary and ask for a redo. Eventually, they will know exactly what you expect and it will be easy to interpret whether or not they are putting forth an honest effort or choosing to be lazy. Be patient while they are learning. Remember you are teaching more than a simple household chore.

How do I know which tasks are appropriate for my child? We often treat our children as if they are mechanically deficient, yet they usually know more about electronics and computerized gadgets than we do! It’s ludicrous to think your 10-year-old can’t run the vacuum cleaner or learn to use the washing machine when she knows exactly how to program the remote control and play complicated computer games. More often, we hesitate to teach these skills because we think we can do them better ourselves or because we know the child will be much less enthusiastic about laundry than playing Minecraft. Don’t underestimate your child’s mental and physical capabilities. You will discover whether or not a child can

safely perform a skill by allowing him to try. Showing you trust him and giving him the opportunity to try on his own, will go a long way toward building a healthy self-esteem. Also, don’t forget to make household skills gender-neutral. Teaching your daughter to mow the lawn or your son to do the ironing is completely acceptable these days. Single parents, of all people, know how important it is to prepare children to be self-sufficient. Throw away tradition and give kids everything they need to succeed.

How do I get my kids to perform regular household skills? Repeatedly having to remind them makes you responsible for their behavior, not them. Frustrating them with skills that are inappropriate for their ages or skill levels will also work against you. If you’ve taken the time to teach appropriately and have given enough encouragement to foster pride in a job well done, you have won half the battle. The other half involves combating common childhood procrastination. Try setting the guidelines so that household skills are required to be finished before they engage in activities like playing with friends or watching television. Some parents feel comfortable giving their kids a window of time and letting them decide where to fit it in the schedule. If neither of these methods are successful for you, try having a time set aside for family clean-up. Turn on some upbeat music and make a game of it. Go from room to room with them and make it a family affair. Be creative and adjust the guidelines to your children’s ages and interests. Remember, the goals of getting children to comply with household skills include teamwork and fostering healthy self-esteem. When you must resort to screaming, nagging, and/or doing it yourself, you are no longer teaching — you’re taking back the responsibilities you’ve worked hard to turn over to your kids.

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Is Your Child Not Paying Attention?

an older child begins to turn his anger inward, as there is an increasing awareness of something being “not quite right.” At this point he begins to feel inadequate due to the difficulties he has understanding others, or he might become scared because he does not know what is wrong.

How do you know it’s APD?

Maybe words don’t make sense. — by Krystyann Krywko, Ed.D.

“

enry has difficulty following directions,” “Molly can’t seem to sit still,” “Benjamin is moody and easily frustrated in class.” Comments like these from your child’s teacher can raise red flags that an attention problem might be brewing. Before you jump to conclusions, it’s important to take into consideration that the academic and social difficulties your child is having might not stem from a behavioral problem. Instead your child could be struggling with Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), which can lead to difficulties understanding verbal information and auditory cues found in social and academic situations.

What is Auditory Processing Disorder? Auditory Processing Disorder is characterized by a difficulty in hearing and processing spoken language even though no hearing loss exists. “The root cause of APD is inside the brain’s central auditory nervous system,” says Lois Kam Heymann, Director of the Steven and Shelley Einhorn Communication Center, at the Center for Hearing and Communication in Lower Manhattan. “A child with APD can hear, but for a number of reasons they are unable to make that ear-mind connection that is needed to listen effectively.” “Listening is the key to learning,” continues Ms. Heymann, “and if the auditory messages are not received prop32 WNY Family September 2020

Empower

Ability Inspire Advocate

Special Needs Potential Thri

Growth Strategies

erly then the child will face increased frustration both at home and at school.”

How APD affects children It is estimated that children spend up to 70 percent of their day listening, so APD can affect children emotionally, socially, and academically. The difficulties and frustrations that surround an APD diagnosis often do not become noticeable until a child is around age three, as language acquisition and verbal interactions with others become more complex. “Children with APD are frustrated,” says Ms. Heymann “and this frustration continues to increase as they get older since the complexity, intensity, and frequency of social and academic interactions increases.” A young child will vent her frustrations outwardly, often physically, by becoming angry at the other person when there is a misunderstanding. However,

“One difficulty in diagnosing APD is that no two people will react in exactly the same way,” says Teri James Bellis, Ph.D., Chair of Communication Sciences and Disorders at the University of South Dakota. “To further complicate the issue,” continues Ms. Bellis, “APD cannot be diagnosed from a checklist of symptoms.” No matter how many symptoms the child presents, it is only through careful observation and testing from an experienced audiologist that a diagnosis can be made. The symptoms of APD are often confused with other disorders such as ADHD, learning difficulties, or language impairment, and since 60 percent of APD exists with other issues, an experienced audiologist can also determine which symptoms are auditory based and which ones are not. In many cases it is also the observations parents bring to the diagnosis process that can assist professionals in understanding their child. “APD is such a tricky diagnosis that I place a lot of weight on what the parent has to say. The parent always knows,” says Ms. Heymann, “After all they are the ones that know their child. They see the daily struggles and frustrations their child endures and they know that it’s not right.” “It hasn’t been an easy road,” says Judy Fishkind, whose son was diagnosed at age eight, “School was a nightmare. My son had difficulties reading and couldn’t focus with the noise in the classroom. For years I was told he had ADD and I never believed it. Eventually we found an audiologist who told us he had APD.”

What to do if you suspect APD One difficulty with identifying APD is that a formal diagnosis cannot be made until the child is at least seven years old,

as the brain function of a younger child is not stable enough for reliable testing. However, there is a screening that can be performed between the ages five to seven that identifies behaviors that may suggest APD. If you suspect your child might have APD, it is important to find a pediatric audiologist and speech pathologist that understand both the causes and effective treatment of APD. The audiologist is able to rule out hearing loss and can also assess middle ear functioning and response to auditory stimuli. The speech pathologist will assess speech, language, and cognition. Working together they can better identify an at-risk child and recommend therapy or further evaluation as needed. Once a child is diagnosed with APD it is important to ensure that therapy is part of the solution. Treatment is individualized to fit the specific needs of each child, and focuses on three areas to help manage APD: (1) modifications to the home and classroom, (2) teachcontinued on page 34

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September 2020 WNY Family 33

SPECIAL NEEDS continued... ing skills to overcome the disorder (listening skills, improving communication skills) and (3) teaching ways to compensate for areas of weakness. “If you had told me my son would do this well (he is currently on the dean’s list at a well respected university),” says Ms. Fishkind, “I wouldn’t have believed it. But I have learned that being your child’s advocate and being consistent with treatments will help your child succeed.” Krystyann Krywko, Ed.D., is a writer and education researcher who specializes in hearing loss and the impact it has on children and families. Both she and her young son were diagnosed with hearing loss one year apart. She is the author of the e-book, “What to Do When Your Child is Diagnosed with Late Onset Hearing Loss: A Parent’s Perspective,” available on Kindle.

What does APD look like? The following list highlights some of the characteristic behaviors of a child with APD. If you feel your child exhibits many of these behaviors it is important to consult with a pediatric audiologist.

34 WNY Family September 2020



Behaves as if they have a hearing loss, asking for repetition and clarification.



Has increased difficulty with verbal tasks

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Easily distracted by background noise

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Has difficulty reading and poor spelling skills

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Has difficulty following multi-part directions

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Is disorganized and forgetful

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Has a language delay or disorder

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Has difficulty retrieving words or ideas they want to express

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Has difficulty holding onto spoken information

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Has poor communication skills or difficulty getting along with peers

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Has frequent tantrums when they are misunderstood

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Has difficulties academically and may be considered an “underachiever”

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Has difficulty retaining information

FAMILY TRAVEL continued... Learn about the breeding and migration habits of these magnificent birds. Did you know the young birds fly to South America for about two years and then return to the nest where they were born? If the nest is already occupied they move on to another close nest. Back in downtown, visit the Ithaca Commons, a four-block, pedestrian only section of the city. It is the place for dining and shopping. Outdoor dining spaces have expanded and there was even a musician singing and playing his guitar during our visit. Learn about the planets and take a ¾ mile walk at the same time by following the Sagan Planet Walk. It is a one to five billion scale model of our solar system built by the Sciencenter as a memorial to Ithaca resident and astronomer Carl Sagan. The walk begins with the Sun station at the downtown Ithaca Commons and ends at the station representing the dwarf planet, Pluto, at the Sciencenter. Each station has a scale model of the planet and an informational plaque. Along the way you might discover that the sunny side of Mercury is hotter than a pizza oven or that a year on Pluto takes 248 Earth years. Augmented Reality features are now available at each station. Watch the solar system come to life right before your eyes using the Sagan Planet Walk app. Travel Tip of the Month: For more information on the Ithaca area go to visitithaca.com or call 607-272-1313 or 800-28-ITHACA. Be sure everyone ages two and older has a face mask. Most attractions except the parks require a mask. Some attractions are still not fully operational so check first. Deborah Williams is a veteran travel writer who lives in Holland, NY. Her work has appeared in national and international publications. She is the recipient of the Society of American Travel Writers’ Lowell Thomas Gold Travel Writing Award. September 2020 WNY Family 35

This month we say goodbye to Myrna Beth Haskell as our excellent Tweens & Teens columnist. She is “retiring” so that she can devote more time to “Sanctuary,” an online women’s magazine of which she is managing editor and one of its co-founders. Tweens & Teens will remain a vital part of WNY Family, but its content will be written by a variety of authors in the coming months.

hen my youngest child graduated from high school, I welled up with tears on and off throughout the ceremony. These were the “happy-sad” kind, which you are probably familiar with — tears conjured by a wide range of conflicting emotions.

ston Salem, NC.

This graduation was not just a milestone for my daughter. It was one for me as well. This is because a good deal of my time had been spent volunteering for our local schools in various capacities. An office at home and a flexible schedule allowed me to be involved in countless ways, as an honor society advisor, PTA president, and booster association president, to name a few. When my daughter reached for her diploma, it marked the end of a chapter in both of our lives.

Allow your child to navigate the world solo without too much interference. Blackham points out, “Kids going away to college need to know their parents have confidence in their ability to make it on their own, as well as assurance that there is a safe place for them if needed. This isn’t the same as ‘You can come and live in my basement and play video games until you’re 30,’ but rather an assurance that there is a place that they belong and are valued.” Blackham advises parents to provide counsel, but to be careful about offering an abundance of unsolicited advice. “Sometimes unsolicited advice communicates a lack of confidence in their ability to solve their own problems,” she cautions.

Now That You’ve Given Them Wings:

Exploring your new parenting role and lifestyle

The months prior to the big day had me thinking about my new role as a parent. My son, who was halfway through his college years at the time, had already developed a different kind of relationship with me. He occasionally asked for advice, but he also had developed a life that was separate from mine. With my daughter on the verge of starting her own new chapter, I couldn’t help but think, “What comes next?” Does the parenting role change? What is the best way for an empty nester 36 WNY Family September 2020

TWEENS & TEENS — by Myrna Beth Haskell to forge forward? Should one find a new hobby, explore the globe, or clean out the basement?

Your New Role Your role has changed, not ended. Your kids will need you — at some level — even when they’re forty. “Often, the move to college marks the most distinctive change for a child becoming an adult. There is usually a natural pulling away that happens in the teen years to prepare for this move into adulthood, but it still comes as a real shift,” says Kim Blackham, LMFT, owner and director of Summit View Family Therapy in Win-

Be aware that your child is used to setting his own rules while living away from home and has gotten used to a different lifestyle. “It’s key to recognize that when your child returns home during breaks, they are returning as an adult, not as a child.” Blackham says that collegeage children should respect being back in their parents’ home, but parents need to be cognizant of the natural shift in the relationship. I’ve found that explaining expectations works best. For instance, if I ask my son to text me when he gets back to the dorm after a visit home or to let me know which friends he is camping with, I usually couple the request with something like, “Humor me.

If I know what your plans are or that you are back safely, I can continue with my day.” Your adult child will realize your inquiries are not about mistrust or lack of confidence in him.

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For couples, there can be a renewed energy to their marriage. Donald K. Freedheim, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at Case Western Reserve University, explains, “When all the children finally graduate from high school, a life adjustment needs to take place. When the kids are out of the everyday picture, it is time to renew what was lost when they were in the home.” Dr. Freedheim describes this lifestyle change as an opportunity for romance and spontaneous activities. He adds that if the effort is made, the consequence is often an enriched marriage. He proposes, “One parent may have to take the lead in guiding the other more reluctant one to change.” However, if the effort is made, you will likely find a renewed excitement about your relationship and a chance to do those things you hadn’t had time for in the past. My husband and I have since enjoyed doing things we didn’t have time for while running to swim meets or attending jazz concerts. We think back on the days our children were home fulltime with fondness; but our new roles as parents of young adults is just as precious and rewarding. Watching your children carrying on independently as the good citizens you raised them to be is priceless.

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Myrna Beth Haskell is the author of “LIONS and TIGERS and TEENS: Expert advice and support for the conscientious parent just like you” (Unlimited Publishing, LLC). Her work has appeared in publications across the U.S. as well as internationally. Learn more at myrnahaskell.com.

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Sitting Still Linked To Increased Risk of Depression in Adolescents Source: University College of London Too much time sitting still — sedentary behavior — is linked to an increased risk of depressive symptoms in adolescents, finds a new UCL-led study. The Lancet Psychiatry study found that an additional 60 minutes of light activity (such as walking or doing chores) daily at age 12 was associated with a 10% reduction in depressive symptoms at age 18. “Our findings show that young people who are inactive for large proportions of the day throughout adolescence face a greater risk of depression by age 18. We found that it’s not just more intense forms of activity that are good for our mental health, but any degree of physical activity that can reduce the time we spend sitting down is likely to be beneficial,” said the study’s lead author, Ph.D. student Aaron Kandola (UCL Psychiatry). “We should be encouraging people of all ages to move more, and to sit less, as it’s good for both our physical and mental health.” The research team used data from 4,257 adolescents, who have been participating in longitudinal research from birth as part of the University of Bristol’s Children of the 90s cohort study. The children wore accelerometers to track their movement for at least 10 hours over at least three days, at ages 12, 14 and 16. The accelerometers reported whether the child was engaging in light activity (which could include walking or hobbies such as playing an instrument or painting), engaging in moderate-to-physical activity (such as running or cycling), or if they were sedentary. The use of accelerometers provided more reliable data than previous studies which have relied on people selfreporting their activity, which have yielded inconsistent results. Depressive symptoms, such as low mood, loss of pleasure, and poor concentration, were measured with a clinical questionnaire. The questionnaire measures depressive symptoms and their severity on a spectrum, rather than providing a clinical diagnosis. Between the ages of 12 and 16, total physical activity declined across the cohort, which was mainly due to a decrease

in light activity (from an average of five hours, 26 minutes to four hours, five minutes) and an increase in sedentary behavior (from an average of seven hours and 10 minutes to eight hours and 43 minutes). The researchers found that every additional 60 minutes of sedentary behavior per day at age 12, 14 and 16 was associated with an increase in depression score of 11.1%, 8% or 10.5%, respectively, by age 18. Those with consistently high amounts of time spent sedentary at all three ages had 28.2% higher depression scores by age 18. Every additional hour of light physical activity per day at age 12, 14 and 16 was associated with depression scores at age 18 that were 9.6%, 7.8% and 11.1% lower, respectively. While the researchers cannot confirm that the activity levels caused changes to depressive symptoms, the researchers accounted for potentially confounding factors such as socioeconomic status, parental history of mental health, and length of time wearing the accelerometer, and avoided the possibility of reverse causation by adjusting their analysis to account for people with depressive symptoms at the study outset. “Worryingly, the amount of time that young people spend inactive has been steadily rising for years, but there has been a surprising lack of high quality research into how this could affect mental health. The number of young people with depression also appears to be growing and our study suggests that these two trends may be linked,” Kandola added. The study’s senior author, Dr. Joseph Hayes (UCL Psychiatry and Camden and Islington NHS Foundation Trust), said: “Light activity could be particularly useful because it doesn’t require much effort and it’s easy to fit into the daily routines of most young people. Schools could integrate light activity into their pupils’ days, such as with standing or active lessons. Small changes to our environments could make it easier for all of us to be a little bit less sedentary,” he added.

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THE WORLD CHANGED OVERNIGHT continued... ness.” Add to that, we all want to feel important and useful. It is our unique contributions to our community and to our world that provide many of the building blocks for good self-esteem and self-worth.

Developing Coping Strategies to Deal with Fear & Uncertainty Uncertainty creates fear. Fear is a natural human emotion, which leads to stress. How we process, express, and channel that fearful energy can make the difference in everything from our health to our relationships to our future. Children and adolescents experience these emotions tenfold, because emotions we perceive as negative feel enormous and overwhelming to an inexperienced brain that is still developing. The development of good verbal communication skills and written communication skills are an excellent outlet for feelings of fear, as they allow children to verbally

express these emotions to family members, friends, a therapist, an educator, or another positive adult role model. Welldeveloped written communication skills allow the child to journal their less comfortable thoughts and emotions. Physical activity and creative pursuits are also paramount for processing and exorcising fearful thoughts and emotions. The more a child experiences positive results through these outlets, the more confidence they develop in their ability to regulate uncomfortable emotions.

Handling the Emotional Complexities of Adolescence Self-discovery, or the process of acquiring insight into one’s own character, helps us identify our abilities and learn how we can leverage and develop them. It is the foundation of transformation, personal growth, and individual development. Research indicates that innerdirected discovery can be an incredibly motivating process and a very formative

one in the lives of adolescents. The effect of intentional reflection, exploring one’s passions, and connecting values to purpose allows us to discover who we truly are. A recent article on a popular Australian parenting portal, raisingchildren. net.au, titled, “Social and Emotional Changes: 9–15 Years” makes the point that during these tween and teenage years “your child’s brain is still learning how to control and express emotions in a grown-up way.” Up until now, save for the occasional conversation with a parent, middle or high school guidance counselor or perhaps a therapist, your adolescent child has been going it alone, without the benefit of a structured education in how to healthfully manage the emotional part of their brain.

Entering an Adult World with Innovative Techniques for Success If there is anything this global pandemic has taught us as a nation, it is the importance of adaptability and innovation. Our daily lives abruptly shifted, and

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we all acclimated to learning new ways of doing old things. For today’s youth, gaining innovative skills are the cutting edge to re-imagining adult success. Now more than ever before, young people benefit from having the agency to freely and courageously express their creativity, while mapping out unconventional pathways to success. This new era presents a wonderful opportunity for young adults in their teen years to be supported in their pursuit of establishing their own playbook for success. Go to college, graduate from college, get a job and keep that job for forty years was largely a twentieth century construct. So why haven’t parents and educators evolved beyond that rulebook? Why is the tail wagging the dog as we see more and more young people starting businesses out of their dorm rooms? Young people are starting to innovate and design their lives in a non-linear fashion that suits the twenty-first century, but they need structured support along the way.

Learning to Make Complex Choices Based on Core Values Life can be hard, and 2020 has been no exception to that rule. Young people are bombarded by societal pressures, social media, and peer influence. Gaining the autonomy needed to make healthy decisions is critical to overall wellbeing and success. Research shows that children who truly understand themselves and can identify their core values are more likely to successfully navigate complicated life decisions than their peers who are unable to identify their personal core values. Learning the critical skills needed to make complex choices is a fundamental aspect of healthy development and a key indicator of potential success. Young people who understand themselves and their values are much better positioned to take on the challenges that life presents.

IRL (In Real Life) Social Skills & Healthy Social Adaptivity In the era of Instagram and TikTok, it is easy for young people to lose sight of the importance of building healthy interpersonal skills, specifically the

skills that occur face-to-face and voiceto-voice, and not behind a screen. It is all too easy for young people to forget that they are surrounded by IRL (in real life) communities who care for their well-being, when they are so outwardly focused on social media approval from anonymous strangers. Learning how to re-focus on the people in your life and how to positively interact with all kinds of people, especially those from different backgrounds or lived experiences, is essential to adult success. ChildMind. org reported on a survey conducted by the Royal Society for Public Health, which asked 14-24 year olds in the UK how social media platforms impacted their health and wellbeing. The survey results found that Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all led to increased feelings of depression, anxiety, poor body image, and loneliness. What we are witnessing is a generation of young people who are facing more opportunities to experience mental health challenges, while being unarmed with the self-esteem-building education to put it all in proper perspective. When children learn meaningful social-emotional skills, they enrich their own lives and enhance their future potential.

Developing a Strong Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ) & Empathy Emotional intelligence refers to an individual’s ability to identify and manage their own emotions, while social intelligence refers to the ability to understand and appropriately respond to another person’s feelings. While many

children experience pressure to excel academically from an early age, few mature realizing that social and emotional intelligence is equally important, if not more important, than academic excellence. Developing empathy for others and increasing social-emotional capital is essential for the wellbeing and success of young people. Research shows that children who develop a strong social-emotional intelligence quotient (EQ) are more likely to exhibit strong coping mechanisms when faced with challenges. They are also more likely to make healthy, value-based choices. Children are more likely to excel academically and gain future success in their chosen field, as well as in their adult relationships, when they have a strong emotional intelligence quotient as their foundation. As a bonus, children with high emotional intelligence quotient are more likely to become adults who raise their children with high emotional intelligence quotient. Jean Paul Paulynice holds an M.B.A. from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, is author of the bestselling book, “From Idea to Reality,” hailed by Forbes as “one of the best books for startup founders and first-time entrepreneurs,” and winner at the 2020 Independent Publisher Book Awards. He is creator of the 11 week social-emotional learning curriculum Empowering Confident Youth (empoweringconfidentyouth. com), with four distinct course curricula for elementary school, middle school, high school and home-schooled children. Learn more at JeanPaulPaulynice.com. September 2020 WNY Family 41

Due to the Coronavirus, you may not be able to do all the “normal” things described in this article, but there’s still plenty of good advice which we’re sure will help you get through those days of remote learning and juggling all those Zoom sessions!

get out of the house for dinner, schedule a coffee date while the kids are at school or a play date that allows the moms to chat while the kids play happily. Another great way to make sure you get a night out is to schedule a monthly dinner, book club, or game night with friends. The effort of trying to figure out schedules will be eliminated and it is more likely to happen if it is on everyone’s calendar each month.

Get A Good Night’s Sleep

— by Sarah Lyons

10 Ways for Moms to Have More

ENERGY

eing a mom is a rewarding job but it can have a way of using up all of your energy quickly. Errands, sleepless nights, extracurricular activities, school projects, laundry, and carpool are just some of the things that may fall on the endless to-do list for a mom. By the end of the day, feeling depleted of energy is common for many moms. It’s a good idea for moms to know what to do when they need to recharge. While everyone will find that different things give them that added boost to get through the day, here are some ideas to get you started.

Exercise

It may seem that adding exercise to your daily routine would use up more energy, but the truth is exercise can actually give you more energy. As your body moves, your heart pumps more blood, which delivers more oxygen to your muscles. “As your aerobic fitness increases, your body becomes more adept at moving oxygen into the blood, which makes your muscles more efficient — and more efficiency equals less energy usage.” (www.livestrong.com) On the other side of things, obesity has been linked to fatigue and low energy levels. 42 WNY Family September 2020

Eat Healthier

It’s no surprise that eating a healthy, well balanced diet gives you more energy to get through the day. I am sure we have all made a choice to eat fast food or a piece of cake that tastes good in the moment but left us feeling sick and sluggish later. “Different kinds of foods are converted to energy at different rates. Candy and simple sugars can give a quick lift, while others — such as whole grains and unsaturated fats supply the reserves you’ll need to draw on throughout the day.” While the occasional treat is fine, it’s best to choose healthy choices to give you the most energy and keep you feeling your best. (www.health.harvard.edu)

Spend Time with Friends

A quick (and enjoyable) way to recharge your batteries is to spend time with friends. Set aside the worries that go along with parenting for a few hours and talk and laugh with friends. If it’s hard to

For some moms this is easier said than done. You may have a child that still wakes at night and be tempted to stay up late or rise early to work on your long list of to-do’s. If you are like me, you find yourself enjoying a moment of quiet so much that you stay up late watching TV or reading a book and miss out on time you could be catching up on rest. We all know that a full night of sleep is going to give you more energy the next day. Listen to your body, if you need to go to bed early or take a nap in the afternoon, allow yourself that break so you are rested. The to-do list will be waiting for you tomorrow.

Take A Quick Pause

There are days when I am overwhelmed by the things on my plate, and the kids are pushing every button. I find myself struggling to get through the hardest days and I end up shorttempered and exhausted. A friend suggested that each day I take 10 minutes for myself in the afternoon to reset my attitude. Some days this is simply taking a shower during nap time, other days it is sitting down with my coffee and just taking a moment to focus on my breathing. Sometimes, sitting down and snuggling with my kids while they watch cartoons gives me a moment to rest and recharge.

Treat Yourself

If you had a few hours to do whatever you wanted, what would it be? Going out to lunch with a friend? A spa day? Curl up with a good book? Whatever it is that comes to mind, make it happen. This may not be feasible every week, but on occasion, you have to allow yourself time to do something you really want to do in order to boost your depleted energy.

Ask for help from your partner, a friend, or hire a babysitter to make it happen and treat yourself. Remember that caring for ourselves is part of what makes us able to care for our families better.

BACK TO SCHOOL BUT NOT BACK TO NORMAL continued...

Parenting is hard work for both moms and dads. Many weeks my husband and I find ourselves passing each other as we take kids to different practices and activities leaving us little time to talk and reconnect. When we start to feel distant, it’s time to schedule a date night. This helps both of us relax and recharge. If a babysitter isn’t in the budget, put the kids to bed early and enjoy a late dinner or a movie together.

Of course, 100% remote learning is available for those parents who do not feel safe in sending their child back to school. Districts are working to make sure those students have the resources and technology needed to do so, yet we are cautioned that some children do well with remote learning and others do not, for a variety of reasons.

who need childcare to cover the half days when their children are not in school are going to be faced with quite a challenge.

Schedule A Date Night

Protect Your Time

One of the biggest struggles parents face is lack of free time. We have good intentions of spending quality time with those we love, taking care of ourselves, and creating a good work/home life balance and then we look at our calendar and it feels out of control. Choose carefully what you commit to when it comes to kids’ extracurricular activities, volunteer

opportunities, and other commitments. Over-commitment can be a cause for stress and zap all your energy. Saying no is hard for many of us, but the resulting chaos is not good for internal peace.

Self Care

As moms, it’s not hard to become so busy caring for everyone else, that we forget to take care of ourselves. It’s important to do things that maintain your mental and physical health. Practice good hygiene, go to yearly checkups at the dentist and doctor, do monthly breast exams, and find things that take care of your mind and body. By choosing to care for yourself, you are teaching your kids that health is a priority and that you want to be an active and energetic part of their lives as long as possible.

Let Some Things Go The one thing I have learned from being a mom for 14 years is that it’s okay to let some things go. There are only so many hours in the day and there are times when I find I have no energy for doing the dishes. While they cannot be ignored indefinitely, they can be ignored for a few hours. If my child wants to wear mismatched clothes, I consider whether a fight is worth my energy and usually decide to let it go. Most household chores can wait until tomorrow if I need to sit down, play with my kids, talk to my spouse, and recharge my energy. I know that the to-do list cannot be ignored forever and not every problem can simply be let go. However, when your energy is depleted, it’s okay to let go of some things, even temporarily in order to be a more attentive, patient, and energetic mom. In ten years no one will remember if my house is clean (it isn’t), but they will remember that we laughed, snuggled, and did our best each day. They will also remember that sometimes mom needs a break to recharge, and that is important, too.

Things That Zap Energy:

Overcommitment • Carb Overload • Stress Sleepless Nights • Never Taking A Break

Some parents may have given thought to doing their own homeschooling instead of “remote learning” offered by school districts. Homeschooling has definitely evolved over the years — entire curriculums can be purchased or you can sign up with an increasing number of online schools that provide a range of educational services for a monthly fee, the size of which is determined by how many classes you want your child to take — only a supplement to the homeschooling you are actually doing as a parent versus an entire course load with all subjects for a given grade level. Cost is also determined by whether lessons are taught by a live teacher or by instructional videos. There are even online “private schools” which charge fees comparable to a brick and mortar private school. The number of details that a parent will have to keep track of this fall is dizzying — especially if you have more than one child. Teachers, administrators, and anyone involved in your child’s school day — from the bus driver to the janitorial staff — will be under levels of stress never experienced before, as will parents. An abundance of patience and strict adherence to the established rules will be necessary for everyone to stay safe and well during this trying time. Michele Miller is the founder, editor, and publisher of Western New York Family, which began as an eight-page newsletter created on a typewriter while her son and daughter took their naps. Those children are now 38 and 40 years old! September 2020 WNY Family 43

Is There An

App For That

? Fun Phone Apps for Kids to Stimulate Thinking & Creativity

— by Kimberly Blaker

ith a massive sea of kids’ phone apps on the market, which ones best maximize kids’ media time? The following is a selection of kid-tested and parent-approved apps to help boost kids’ critical thinking skills and creativity. Piano Kids – Music & Songs (Free for Android. Ages 3+) This top-rated app teaches kids and parents how to play musical instruments, including the piano, xylophone, and drums. It exercises children’s memory, concentration, creativity, listening skills, and motor skills. Flow Free (Free for all platforms. Ages 8+) This color-based game offers various levels of play to sustain the interest of grade-school kids on up to adults. It improves complex thinking skills as players try to connect the dots to create pipes without crossing over another color. 44 WNY Family September 2020

Heads Up! (Free for Android. $1 Apple. Ages 6+) Based on the Heads Up! game created by Ellen DeGeneres, this family game is a blast for all ages. A player holds the phone on their head with an image facing out for the other players to see. The player’s teammate then acts out the image shown on the phone while the teammate holding it up has to guess what his teammate is acting out. Kids Build & Crash Blocks Game (Free for all platforms. Ages 1 – 4) Toddlers and preschoolers can build tall towers with colorful blocks while learning their colors and numbers. When they’re done building, children thrill at crashing the tower. Your child can never lose in this game. The app also features fun sound effects and animations. Lego City My City 2 (Free for Android. Ages 7 – 14) With 15 minigames in all, players go

on thrilling car chases to catch thieves, blast off into space, and do underwater exploration. As players move through the game, they earn blocks and components to build vehicles and complete their missions. Doodle Magic Joy (Free for Android. Ages 3+) This drawing app, with colors ranging from soft pastels to bright neons, offers a variety of art tools including pen, calligraphy, airbrush, crayon, pastel, sponge, eraser, and more. When doodles are complete, the art can be saved and even played back as a cartoon. This is a fun app for kids to adults. Unblock Me Free (Free for all platforms. Ages 7+) This mental workout boasts 16,000 puzzles in all. The object of the game is to unblock the red block in as few moves as possible. Kids and adults can compete with friends and players around the world. 3/2 Chess (Free for Android. Ages 5+) Played much like standard chess for two players, this game is designed for up to three players. 3/2 Chess is a strategy game that boosts creativity and critical thinking skills.

Hoopa City 2 ($3.99 for all platforms. Ages 5 – 10) Kids can build the city of their dreams with skyscraper apartments, shopping malls, and beach resorts in this 3D game app. Then they can play inside the city they’ve built, dress up their citizens, and even switch to night mode to see their city lit up. Magic Tiles 3 (Free for all platforms. Ages 7+) This massively popular piano game requires players to tap the black tiles while avoiding the white ones to generate beautiful, high-quality music. The app features additional instruments such as guitar, as well as a battle mode where kids can compete with other players around the world. ColorMinis Kids (Free for all platforms. Ages 3+) With this color and design app, kids experiment with a variety of colors and materials, including Real 3D gloss, clay, glass, metal, and more. They can color and design anime figures, animals, robots, castles, and much more. When their design is complete, they’ll create animated gifs of their creations. PBS Kids Video (Free all platforms. Ages 2+) Kids can watch their favorite PBS Kids shows wherever you go. This app is a fun form of educational entertainment for young children when riding in the car, waiting for appointments, and on shopping trips. In addition to thousands of videos of their favorite shows, they’ll also be introduced to the “Weekly Pick” of educational videos. Drawing for Kids! Learning Games for Toddlers (Free for Android. Ages 2 – 5) This app is an easy way for even the youngest toddlers to learn how to draw. It includes fun sounds and animations as each drawing comes to life.

Must-Have Phone Apps to Simplify Parenting Whether you need a solution to help monitor your baby, track and reward your kiddos for chores, or keep your teen from texting while driving, there’s a phone app that does it for you. The following useful apps are designed specifically for parents and families. Better yet, most of these parent-tested apps are free for both Android and iPhone. Screen Time Parental Control (Android & iPhone. Free trial.) This useful app gives parents a variety of controls to limit their kids’ screen time. It also allows parents to block apps and games from their kids at bedtime or during school hours. Parents can even push a button on their own phone to time-out their kids’ phones when they ignore requests to get off their phones. MMGuardian (Android & iPhone. Free.) This pre-teen and teen monitoring app allows parents to monitor and block text messages, apps, calls, and URLs. It also has configurations to limit screen time. Cozi Family Organizer (Android & iPhone. Free or paid upgrade.) Manage and share your family calendar between all your devices with this app to keep everyone in the loop. In addition to keeping track of schedules, it manages reminders, to-do lists, shopping lists, and recipes. Netspark Parental Control Light (Android. Paid subscription.) Get powerful filtering with this app to protect your kids from harmful images, text, and video content. It also allows parents to set time limits for daily or weekly screen time.

Life360 Family Locator – GPS Tracker (Android & iPhone. Free.) With this app, you can create “circles” of family members and friends. Then you can view the location of anyone in your circle on a map. The tracker can also send you text alerts when your child or teen arrives at or leaves a destination. KidsPlace Parental Control by Kiddoware (Android. Free or paid upgrade.) Block kids from buying or downloading apps and incoming calls with this app. Premium features include a timer that locks apps after a specified period or based on a permanent schedule. ChoreMonster (Android & iPhone. Free.) This app is a great way to gain kids’ cooperation with chores. Kids can keep track of the points they earn for completing tasks. Then they can use the points to buy rewards such as extra time for video games, a special treat, or family outing. DriveSafe.ly (Android. Free or paid upgrade.) If you have teen drivers, this app is a must-have. It reads text messages and emails aloud and announces the name of incoming callers without having to touch the phone. The paid version allows for a hands-free response to messages as well. Baby Monitor 3G (Android & iPhone, $3.99) Monitor your baby with both video and audio, and receive alerts when your baby awakens. Particularly helpful, you can see your baby in the dark with this app. It also tracks how often your baby wakes, and it replays audio. You can also press a button on your phone to talk to your baby. September 2020 WNY Family 45

DIPS

hen we’re hungry for a snack, there’s temptation to grab the fastest thing to eat. If we’re tired, or stressed, will power often goes out the door. We eat cookies, chips, chocolate, or stick a spoon in the ice cream (or is that just me?). Our children are no different — after a day of school studies or activities, they grab what’s quickest.

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It helps if we provide healthy, appealing, readily available choices, so they won’t be as tempted by high salt, sugar, or fat laden foods. Regardless of their age, whether toddler or teenager, a little planning using some of our tips below will satisfy everyone.

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Get the junk out of the house. Offer choices between healthy or healthier.

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Snacks are not meals; they should be small in portion, with enough crunch or protein (or both) to take off the edge.

YOGURT DIP (Savory or Sweet)

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Make it fun. Kids like to dip just about anything, in ketchup, honey, applesauce, salsa. Use a cookie or biscuit cutter to make novelty shapes. Ants-on-a-log are always a big hit — that’s celery filled with peanut butter (or alternative) or cream cheese (or alternative) and topped with raisins. Choose foods rich in nutrients, low in salt, refined sugars or starches. Think whole grains, fruits, vegetables, pumpkin or sunflower seeds, low fat dairy or soy products. The biggest tip — prepare the snacks in advance. Refrigerate ready to serve: on a plate in cut up portions with dip in a little cup, covered and ready to go. Don’t forget the drinks. Have healthy, low sugar drinks available, too.

BEAN DIP

Free of: DAIRY*, EGGS, SOY*, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, WHEAT, FISH, SHELLFISH, GLUTEN Yield: 8-10 servings Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 0 minutes

Savory

2 cups (16 oz) Greek yogurt (soy free, dairy free brand)* 1 packet onion soup mix Or

Sweet

2 cups (16 oz) Greek yogurt (soy free, dairy free brand)* 2 Tablespoons orange juice 2 Tablespoons honey In a medium bowl, stir ingredients together. Refrigerate several hours before serving to allow flavors to blend better. Lasts about a week in the refrigerator. 46 WNY Family September 2020

• • • • • • • • • • •

Hummus Guacamole Salsa Yogurt, regular or dairy/soy free Yogurt dip (recipe below) Peanut butter, soy butter, sun butter or pea butter Low fat cream cheese, or soy cream cheese Bean dip (recipe below) Apple butter, pumpkin butter, or pear butter Low fat cottage cheese Applesauce, natural

FOODS TO DIP •

• • • • • • •

Cut up vegetables such as celery, carrots, lettuce, green peppers, cauliflower, broccoli, zucchini, cherry tomatoes, radishes, etc. Cut up fruits including apples, pears, peaches, bananas, oranges, berries, grapes Rice cakes Pita triangles Whole grain bread Crackers Graham crackers Whole grain muffins, or fruit breads

Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, WHEAT, FISH, SHELLFISH, GLUTEN Yield: 8-10 servings Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 0 minutes 1 16oz can beans (black, pinto, or any type you prefer) 2 Tablespoons chopped onion (red, Vidalia, other) 2 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar 1 Tablespoons orange juice 1 clove garlic (or 1 teaspoon chopped garlic) Process in a food processor or blender until pureed. Lasts about a week in the refrigerator.

If you have any questions about our column, e-mail Kathy at allergy@ roadrunner.com. For further information about food allergies, contact FARE www.foodallergy.org, or call 1-800-929-4040. Kathy Lunquist is a Western New York parent whose son, now an adult, was born with severe food allergies. Over the last two decades, she has worked tirelessly in a variety of capacities to increase community awareness about food allergies.

THE KIDDIE GOURMET

— by Barbara Blackburn

t’s “bienvenue au Bayou” (Welcome to the Bayou!) The welcoming flavors of New Orleans give you the traditional seasonings of the Cajun and Creole world. Not just a swamp or a bog as the term might imply, but it’s the food of the French settlers who wound up all along the Gulf Coast.

Let’s

server reheated it. To us the appetizer list is the most beckoning. I advise the Hot Corn Dip ($9.50): Sweet corn, black beans, red and green peppers, jalapenos in a cheesy cheddar cream sauce with melted cheddar on top and served with tortilla chips.

y t r Pa

No New Orleans menu would be complete without FAMILY The Kids Menu caters the Po Boy ($13.00). This FRIENDLY 4/5 to the appetites of most kids, sandwich is stocked with with Grilled Cheese, Chickfried shrimp with Southern en Fingers, and Kid Burger, slaw, onion, tomatoes, and all $6.00 with fries, but no included lettuce, served on a toasted sub roll with drink. It’s a casual place with comforthouse made Creole mayo. Three entrees able seating for adults and kids. There’s include the famous Blackened Chicken no worry about kids breaking any dishes and Shrimp Dinner ($18.00). This is here since it’s all paper and plastic - what blackened seasoned chicken breast with I consider an creole grilled environmenshrimp driztal disaster. zled with honey pepper O u r sauce, served first experiwith hush ence with the puppies and Bayou was house made takeout, and slaw. we liked it so

One of the Nicest Things 5C8A0L-L0745 You Can Give Your Child TODAY! Is HAPPY MEMORIES! Invite Skiddles the Clown to Entertain at Your Child’s Next Birthday!

The Bayou

142 French Road Cheektowaga, NY

716-671-2463

~ SPOONS ~ FOOD 4.5/5 SERVICE 5/5

much that we decided to return, this time dining al fresco, with a blues band in the background. The first time I fell in love with the Fried Oysters (Market Price), crispy deep fried oysters with a Cajun dipping sauce, not always available. The second time I replaced them with the Fried Swamp Legs ($12.00), crispy fried bundles of frog legs, served with the signature dipping sauce. The cornmeal coating pleased my palate more than the ample sized legs, reminding me of Kermit. Gumbolaya ($9.50) was Dad’s pick: andouille sausage, roasted chicken, onions, okra, red and green peppers, served with a bed of rice. He said that it was one of the best he had tasted, after the

The desserts should satisfy all ages, especially Deep Fried Oreos ($6.00). I can never pass up the classic French doughnuts, Beignets ($7.00). These dough balls are classic French style croissant bread deep fried and covered with powdered sugar; ours were served in a bag. For some “Cattywampus,” fun, flavor, and sometimes music, the Bayou lets the good times roll. Check out Barb’s blogs at frontierfare. wordpress.com and culinarrations. wordpress.com which repeat published articles that Barb had in the Tombstone Epitaph Frontier Fare and the Metro Community News Kitchen Wizard. September 2020 WNY Family 47

48 WNY Family September 2020