December 2021 by Western New York Family Magazine

VOLUME 38, #10 DECEMBER 2021

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EXPLORING EDUCATION Our Annual Special Pull-Out Section FAMILY TRAVEL

Holiday Festivals INSIDE: Gifts

SSavor avor avo r the the ! n o s a e S Galore - A Shop Local Guide!

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December 2021 • Volume 38 • Issue 10

EDITOR & PUBLISHER Michele Miller GENERAL MANAGER Paul Kline SALES REPRESENTATIVES Jennifer Staebell Paul Kline GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Karen Wawszczyk Melanie Schroeder CONTRIBUTORS Barbara Blackburn • Donna Phillips Richard De Fino • Deborah Williams Kathy Lundquist • Myrna Beth Haskell Mike Daugherty

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Visit Our Web Site www.wnyfamilymagazine.com To Reach Us: Advertising Department advertising@wnyfamilymagazine.com Calendar Submissions calendar@wnyfamilymagazine.com Subscriptions subscriptions@wnyfamilymagazine.com Editorial Submissions michele@wnyfamilymagazine.com MAILING ADDRESS: 3147 Delaware Ave., Suite B Buffalo, NY 14217 Phone: (716) 836-3486 • Fax: (716) 836-3680 PRINTED BY: Commercial Printing Division The Post-Journal, Jamestown WE ARE AN AUDITED PUBLICATION CIRCULATION (copies printed): 20,000 © 2021 Western New York Family, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form without permission is strictly prohibited. Inclusion of an advertisement does not constitute an endorsement by the publisher. PRINT SUBSCRIPTIONS: MAILED FIRST CLASS, IN AN ENVELOPE SAME DAY ISSUE IS DELIVERED FROM THE PRINTER: $28 one year, $52 two years, $75 three years. Phone & online orders accepted with credit cards. Gift subscriptions available. Single copies & back issues by mail, $2.50. IF YOU MOVE: Missed issues will not be replaced if we do not receive an address change before issue mailing date.

Where It’s At! Happy Holidays! Features: 6 n How to Savor the Holiday Season at Home by Katy M. Clark 8 n How to Balance Receiving with Giving by Sandi Schwartz 16 n Seven Things You Always Wanted To Know About Chanukah by Jill Morgenstern 17 n The Gift by Cheryl Maguire

EXPLORING EDUCATION A Special Pull-Out Section 21 n

• What’s Going On In NY’s Schools? • We Need a Parenting Agenda Reset – and Resilience Must Be the New Watchword • Tips to Help Your Child Gain Confidence in the Classroom • To School or Not To School • Countdown to College • How Women Can Earn a College Degree – Without Giving Up Their Family, Job or Going Broke 60 n The Family Pet

Regulars: 5 n Web Finds / What’s New In The Kid Biz 18 n Pick of the Literature by Dr. Donna Phillips 20 n Family Travel Holiday Festivals by Deborah Williams

48 n Raising Digital Kids The Great Roblox Outage of 2021 by Mike Daugherty 50 n Journey Into Fatherhood Violet’s First (& Hopefully Last) Stitches by Richard De Fino 51 n Parent Previews by Kirsten Hawkes 52 n Dear Teacher by Peggy Gisler & Marge Eberts 54 n Special Needs Benefits of Pet Ownership for Kids with Special Needs by Sarah Lyons 56 n Tweens and Teens Sweet Dreams - Getting Teens the Sleep They Need by Tanni Haas, Ph.D. 58 n Single Parenting Am I Doing Okay? Five Concepts That Define Single Parent Success by Diane Dierks, LMFT 62 n The Kid Friendly Kitchen Little Chefs Kits by Kathy Lundquist 63 n The Kiddie Gourmet ForestView Grill, Bar & Bakery by Barbara Blackburn

Directories:

10 n Gifts Galore 57 n Wellness Choices

You’ll find FREE courtesy copies of WNY Family at all Buffalo area Wegmans and 300 locations including Public Libraries, Doctors’ Offices, Child Care Centers and many of our advertisers. (Look for us INSIDE Wegmans on the racks where newspapers are sold, even though we are still FREE, or in some stores, on the FREE rack in the store foyer.)

Find this entire issue online at www.wnyfamilymagazine.com December 2021 WNY Family 3

Support Your Community This Holiday Season

Shop Local

4 WNY Family December 2021

web.finds December is a time for celebration. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, it’s always fun to create new decorations, activities, and traditions with your children. Here are a few ideas to try his holiday season!

CANDY DREIDELS

Playing Dreidel is a traditional game enjoyed during the eight nights of Hanukkah. The Hebrew letters on the dreidel — Nun, Hem, Gimel, and Shin — stand for the Hebrew phrase “Haya Sham” which means “A great miracle happened here.” Food blogger Tori Avey shares her clever idea for Candy Dreidels, made with jumbo marshmallows, pretzel sticks, chocolate candy kisses, and Nutella hazelnut spread as the “glue.” Her site includes detailed instructions, including adding the Hebrew letters with cake decorating gel or icing, and another version coated with chocolate and decorated with sprinkles. Find the complete instructions at: https:// toriavey.com/toris-kitchen/candydreidels/

KWANZAA PRINTABLE

Kwanzaa is a Swahili word, which means “first fruits of the harvest.” It is celebrated from December 25th through January 1 each year. The symbols on this printable represent the harvest, a cup which represents family and community, and the Kinara, a seven-pronged candle holder, which symbolizes the ancestors and the principles of Kwanzaa. The three candles on the left are red, representing struggle; the three on the right are green, representing hope; and one in the center is black, signifying those who draw their heritage from Africa. Download the free printable at: https://coloringcafe.com/coloring-pages/kwanzaa/

GLITTERING POPSICLE CHRISTMAS TREES

Debbie Chapman, mom of three, created these adorable trees from colored popsicle sticks cut in proportionate lengths, foam sticker stars, sticker rhinestones, twine for hanging, and hot glue. You can find the colored popsicle sticks at Amazon, Hobby Lobby, and Oriental Trading, and, of course, you can always have the kids help you paint some plain ones. Check out all the details, including a how-to video, on Debbie’s blog “One Little Project” at https:// onelittleproject.com/glittering-popsicle-stickchristmas-trees/

What’s New... IN THE KIDBIZ “WARM HEARTS” BENEFITS CHILD ADVOCACY CENTER BestSelf Behavioral Health, the largest community-based behavioral health organization in WNY, has partnered with Park Edge Sweet Shoppe for its second annual Warm Hearts promotion to benefit the Child Advocacy Center at BestSelf (CAC). Until the end of December, Park Edge will feature Hot Chocolate Snowballs, chocolate filled with hot chocolate mix and marshmallows for $7.29, with a portion of the proceeds going directly to the CAC to support much needed expansion of their services. The CAC is an innovative, comprehensive center offering safety, support and a healing place for children and families affected by trauma and abuse in Erie County. Erie County has some of the highest rates for reported child abuse in New York State – more than 5,000 reported cases annually. The Hot Chocolate Snowballs are available for pre-order at Park Edge Sweet Shoppe, 325 Abbott Road, Buffalo. You may also pre-order by calling 716-824-0228.

NEW PROGRAM HELPS FAMILIES SAVE ON GOODS & SERVICES

United Way of Buffalo & Erie County has launched a new pilot program in partnership with Prosperi-Key, a nonprofit whose digital platform connects working households living paycheck-to-paycheck with savings for critical goods and services from local, regional, and national businesses that want to help. The program is now live and accessible to income-eligible people, including many essential workers. Those interested in registering to gain access to hundreds of free or discounted services, products and social programs that help make life a little easier can visit https:// www.prosperikey.org/signup. “Our goal is to get each Prosperi-Key member to worry less about the ability to cover the costs for their basic needs, so they have fewer hard choices to make about which bill they can pay in a given month,” said Kim Morgan, CEO of Prosperity Digital Marketplace. Local businesses who would like to help, can register online at www.prosperikey.org/ partner or contact mary_k.comtois@uwbec. org for more information about ProsperiKey and joining the cause. December 2021 WNY Family 5

— by Katy M. Clark

How to Savor the Holiday Season at Home

here is a reason why the song “Home for the Holidays” is a seasonal favorite. I think it’s because it captures what we all know to be true — there really is no place like home, sweet home, especially during the most magical time of year. So if you and your family find yourselves worn out by rushing from activity to activity, especially after last year’s more limited festivities, why not take a moment to slow down and savor the season right where you spend most of your time? Here are seven sweet and simple ways to celebrate the holidays at home.

Send cards in the mail.

Help your kids embrace the tradition of sending Christmas cards. There are tons of online photo sites that allow you to personalize photo cards. Or simply ask your kids to draw or paint handmade greetings. No matter how fancy or simple the cards may be, just imagine how much joy they will bring the recipients, especially Grandmas and Grandpas who love getting good old-fashioned mail! 6 WNY Family December 2021

MERRY MAS CHRIST

Bake.

Spend time together cutting out sugar cookies, rolling rugelach, or making a special recipe that your family treasures. Tell your kids about the relatives who wrote the recipes in cursive on those cards passed down from generation to generation. Maybe you can drop off your homemade treats to homebound seniors or veterans in your neighborhood.

Make music. Host a concert in your own home. Have

your child play a solo in front of the family. Or be like the Partridge Family and encourage everyone to pick up an instrument for a holiday jam session. Have a sing-along to your favorite hymns or holiday classics. Most lyrics can be found online.

Read together.

Be like Clark Griswald and his clan in Christmas Vacation and gather round to read The Night Before Christmas. There are also classic audio books your family could listen to as you wrap gifts or unwind after work or school. Books are the perfect way to learn about different holiday traditions, too. Ask your local librarian for recommendations of books about Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or celebrations such as St. Lucia Day (December 13) or Three Kings Day (January 6).

Encouragement and Positive Reinforcement through Dance to reach one’s personal best

CENTER STAGE DANCE STUDIO CLASSES OFFERED

Jazz, Tap, Ballet, Hip Hop, Acro, Contemporary, Kinder Klass and Mommy & Me, Adult Classes - Scheduled or Drop-in

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- Certified member of Dance Educators of America -

Watch holiday movies. There’s nothing like the holi-

day season to inspire me to create a cozy movie night in my own living room. My family can’t wait to don comfy pajamas, snuggle up in throw blankets with snacks and hot cocoa, and laugh our cares away watching Elf and A Christmas Story. There are so many great shows and movies celebrating the season that your family is sure to find one that inspires festive spirit in everyone!

Celebrate outside. No

matter the temperature, it’s always an excellent idea to head outside. Go for a walk and listen to the wind whistling through bare trees or whipping around buildings. Notice the birds that winter in your area. Decorate a tree outside, whether in your backyard or on your balcony. Get warm by a backyard bonfire or stargaze on a frosty evening. Maybe the best outdoor activity of all is piling into the car to see the holiday lights and outdoor decorations in your neighborhood.

4837 Union Rd., Cheektowaga (Near Cleveland Dr.)

634-3395 ★ www.csds.dance

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Go Virtual.

It’s likely impossible to see all of your loved ones in person during the holidays, no matter how hard you try. So take advantage of virtual ways to shower season’s greetings on friends and family, using Facebook Messenger, Zoom, or Skype. Plan that video chat with Aunt Susie or hang out online with your long distance best friend. Reaching out and connecting, even in a virtual format, benefits everyone, especially during the holidays.

Support Our Advertisers… Tell them you saw their ad in

Katy M. Clark is an award-winning writer who has been published in Pregnancy, Atlanta Parent, Scary Mommy and many more. Her blog, which celebrates her imperfections as a mom, is ExperiencedBadMom.com. December 2021 WNY Family 7

cure Kids, kids who are inundated with toys are so overwhelmed that they are unable to play by themselves and can even develop focus issues.

How to Balance Receiving with Giving — by Sandi Schwartz

ne of the key challenges of holiday time is that our children get so used to receiving oodles of gifts that they begin to expect that they will always get more and more. But have you noticed how quickly they lose interest with many of the toys they receive during the holidays? Showering our children with gifts every year can end up being detrimental if they become numb to the excitement of gifts, and if they only focus on the receiving side of the holidays. There are several ways that we can instill some balance so that our children learn to appreciate what they receive while also giving to others.

Express Gratitude Gratitude is one of the most important ways for us to get a happiness boost, providing us with so many wonderful psychological, physical, and interpersonal benefits. It improves our health, reduces stress, and helps us focus on the positive aspects of life. Teaching our kids how to step back and be thankful for what they have will keep them grounded and help them realize just how lucky they are to be receiving toys and other gifts at holiday time. You can encourage your kids to express their gratitude for the gifts they receive by writing thank you notes to friends and relatives. You can also go around the dinner table and invite every8 WNY Family December 2021

It is so important to teach our children how to pick and choose a few special gifts that they would like and to not go overboard. Parenting coach Carla Naumburg developed a fabulous poem to inspire the types of presents to give to children for the holidays that helps make each gift meaningful. This approach goes beyond just the obvious toys that children typically want, allowing both parents and children to be more creative with gifts. Something you want, something you need,

one to say how grateful they are for each gift and why it is so meaningful to them. Finally, one of the most popular and effective ways to express gratitude is through journaling. It encourages our kids to acknowledge the positive moments in their day, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Consider giving them their own gratitude journal this holiday season so they have the perfect place to record what they are thankful for, including their holiday gifts and other special moments throughout the year.

Learn That Less Is More How many dolls does one little girl really need? If you dig through your children’s old toys, you may be taken aback by how many of each item they actually have: multiple puzzles, games, cars, trucks, plastic figures, and art supplies. It never ends. When they are showered with too many presents, it reduces the interest value of each toy very quickly. According to Kim John Payne in Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Se-

something to wear, something to read. Something to see, something to spare, something to cook, something to share.

Choose Experiences Over Stuff Research over the last decade shows that experiences make us happier than possessions. Instead of always giving our kids gifts that they can hold in their hand, why not try a new experience that will provide them with a memory for a lifetime? It doesn’t have to be an expensive family vacation to Disney World; it can be a simple activity close by that you can enjoy together. Here are some ideas that your kids will love: •

Enjoy nature by visiting a zoo or garden, going camping or hiking, spending a day at the beach, or trying out skiing, sledding, or snowboarding.

•

Show them the excitement of the city by visiting historical monuments, exploring museums, going out to a fancy restaurant, or attending a concert or sporting event.

•

Expand their knowledge by signing them up for an art class, cooking class, music lesson, science event, or computer course.

Give To Those Less Fortunate The holiday season can quickly turn into a shopping spree if we are not careful. But this is a particularly critical time of year to remember those who are not able to celebrate the holidays like we are with piles of gifts. December is the perfect time to clean out the playroom and practice some giving. Spend some time each year going through every nook and cranny to weed out the old toys before you bring in the new ones. Ask your children to collect piles of items to recycle, throw away, and donate. When the children choose from their own pile of toys, they gain a powerful hands-on experience to learn about that balance between giving and receiving. After you do this exercise a few times, your kids will automatically realize that no matter what new gifts they receive, they will choose some that they no longer play with to give to children who may not get any presents at all. This is a habit that everyone can easily add to their holiday traditions. You can also start to encourage your children to forgo a new gift or two to purchase items for those in need. Look for a holiday toy drive in your community to support and take your kids along with you to purchase the items and to deliver them to the charity. Sandi Schwartz is an author, journalist, and mother of two. She has written extensively about parenting, wellness, and environmental issues. Her new book, “Finding Ecohappiness: Fun Nature Activities to Help Your Kids Feel Happier and Calmer,” comes out in the spring. Learn more at www.ecohappinessproject.com.

Including Music in Your Holiday Traditions (StatePoint) Music is powerful. Here is how to include music in your holiday celebrations to set a joyful, festive mood and help create happy family memories. 1) Whistle while you work: Decking the halls shouldn’t be a chore. It should be a fun holiday tradition. Create a playlist of all your favorite carols, old standards and popinfused holiday hits. As you adorn the tree, decorate the cookies and hang the stockings, pop on your playlist to fill the house with your personalized sounds of the season. 2) Create your own music: With more time off from school and work and a treasure trove of seasonal music to draw inspiration from, this can actually be the ideal time of year to take up a new instrument or embark on music lessons. For beginners, consider a Castiotone. User-friendly and created with the goal of making music fun for players of all abilities, it connects to the Chordana Play App, which offers interactive, at home, beginner piano lessons. Plus the keyboard features built-in Christmas carols, perfect for singalongs! And because it’s portable, you can “gather round the piano” wherever you spend the holidays. 3) Go caroling: Caroling is one of best ways to spread holiday cheer among neighbors and members of your community. Organize friends and family to join you. You may even consider turning your efforts into a fundraiser for a local charity or a music-related nonprofit such as Music & Memory, which helps individuals with cognitive and physical conditions engage with the world and ease pain through their favorite music. 4) Attend a performance: From “The Nutcracker” to “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” there are many classic holiday performances staged at theaters all around the country. Enjoy a live show or watch your favorite seasonal musicals at home. Through the power of listening and creating your own music, you can fill your seasonal traditions with joy and make happy holiday memories that last for years to come.

December 2021 WNY Family 9

716 Music & More

Buffalo Museum of Science

Academy of Theatre Arts

Clayton’s Toys

716-390-8347 www.716MusicAndMore.com Music Together is the world-renowned early childhood music and movement program for children birth through age 5 and the grownups who love them. This incredible curriculum has been offered for over 30 years and is loved by families around the world. Ongoing research guarantees a high quality, educational and fun experience either in our classroom at Harlem Road Community Center or online. Join our musical community and make musical memories with us! Tuition includes weekly classes, CD and digital downloads, illustrated songbook, and online access to videos, activity pages and more! Gift certificates available.

4231 Transit Rd, Buffalo • 716-810-0551 www.academyoftheatrearts.com As 2021 award winners of NYS Theatre Guide’s “Best Theatre Education Program for Young Artists”, we are proud to use theatre as a platform to teach and promote excellence in public speaking, self-esteem, confidence, and personal excellence to a generation who now needs these skills more than ever before! ATA offers classes in acting, singing, dancing, private voice, competitive musical theatre companies and a variety of summer camps. For a complete list of classes visit www.academyoftheatrearts.com. Become a part of our theatre family and give the gift of theatre lessons this Holiday season!

1020 Humboldt Pkwy., Buffalo • 716-896-5200 www.sciencebuff.org Antarctic Dinosaurs: The Exhibition is making its way to the Buffalo Museum of Science in February and tickets go on sale Dec. 1! Not sure what day or time your loved ones can go? No problem! Gift vouchers will be available for sale at the Museum or by phone, 716-8965200. Interested in giving a year of experiences? Gift Family Memberships include general admission for two named adults and their children/grandchildren. Upgrade to Family PLUS to add an extra guest to every visit! Order by December 15 for guaranteed delivery for the holidays. Electronic Gift Memberships also available for last-minute gifts!

5225 Main St., Williamsville • 716-633-1966 1396 Hertel Ave., Buffalo • 716-939-3000 www.claytonstoystore.com WNY’s one-stop toy shopping experience! An independently-owned toy store celebrating over 100 years. Stop by one of Clayton’s two locations where you’ll find gifts, toys, games, novelties, and nostalgia for children of all ages! We have a vast selection of baby items, books, dolls, stuffed animals and puppets, science kits, art supplies, crafts, puzzles, building toys, trucks, and more! The incredible staff is here to help you find that perfect holiday gift and offers complimentary gift wrapping and shipping. There is something for everyone at Clayton’s Toys, so come on in and experience it for yourself!

GIVE THE GIFT of Adventure and Friendship to your young reader this HOLIDAY SEASON! by

Children are inspired to use their imagination as they follow delightful fairie characters who travel to other countries and meet new animal friends.

This is one they will read over and over. Available to purchase today from: ✳ Barnes and Noble ✳ Kindle ✳ Amazon ✳ Xlibris 10 WNY Family December 2021

Designing Dish

138 Grey Street, East Aurora • 716-655-4456 www.designingdish.com Everyone is an artist at Designing Dish – a paint your own pottery store featuring Glass Fusing. New to our exciting menu of mediums: Glass Etching. Create one-of-a-kind make and take gifts from wine glasses to ornaments. We have those special projects that everyone will always remember. Now offering Potteryon-the-Go kits for birthday parties, scout groups, day cares, and private parties. Open for walk-ins and accepting reservations for private parties. Celebrate the Holiday Season by visiting us in the historic village of East Aurora. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

Embrace the Difference®

ReedsJenss or Shop Online www.embracethedifference.org This stunning collection is a beautiful way to spread a message of kindness & acceptance while making a contribution to the charity of your choice. The symbol of a single square embraced by circles shows we are all connected, no matter what difference we may have. The square is different, but is an integral part of the whole circle. This symbol has been finely crafted into a complete line of jewelry & apparel starting at $30. $5 to $100 from each purchase is donated back to a charity you choose.

The Fairies Meet the Lions!

Available to purchase at: Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Kindle, & Xlibris Does your child love adventure? If so they will be delighted by “The Fairies Meet The Lions!” This beautifully written book is the perfect holiday gift for young readers. “The Fairies Meet the Lions!” inspires children to use their imagination in learning about other countries and animals. The Big Fairie, Little Fairie, Fast Fairie and Slow Fairie travel the world and fly all over telling about their journey far and beyond. They travel to different countries sprinkling fairie magical dust to give everybody strength! Make new animal friends and enjoy the fun along the way. You just don’t know where they’re off to next!

Federal Meats

With 9 WNY Locations to serve you 633-1390 for the nearest location www.federalmeats.com Give The Gift of Good Taste! Enjoy this real old-time butcher shop, where meat professionals assist customers one-on-one in selecting their meats, poultry, deli and seafood. Here is where you can have your favorite items cut and wrapped to your specification. Their large deli section includes a full signature line of freshly prepared dinner entrées and appetizers to choose from. Federal Meats specializes in friendly knowledgeable service where phone orders are always welcome. Federal Meats accepts Cash, Master Card, Visa, Discover and EBT. Holiday Gift Certificates, Steak & Meat Packages are also available for year-round gift giving.

Award Winning Academy of Theatre Arts 2021/2022 ATA Theatre Season

SUMMER REGISTRATION OPENS Friday, January 14th! Spots fill up quickly, so don’t delay!

$5 OFF your Registration Fee when you mention this ad and register by March 1st

For more information visit our website! ift Holiday G s te ca fi ti er C le b a avail

Call 810 -0551 today!

4231 Transit Road Williamsville, New York 14221

Contact 810-0551 or info@academyoftheatrearts.com December 2021 WNY Family 11

Fisher-Price® Toystore Enjoy all the famous Buffalo fare like Wings, Beef on Weck, Fish Fry & more in an old Buffalo Museum setting. Just a short walk from the Darwin Martin House and across the street from the Buffalo Zoo.

HOURS: Wednesday - Saturday: 4:30pm - 8:30pm

2 Russell Street • Buffalo, NY 14214

716.834.8348

ParksideMeadow.com

636 Girard Ave., East Aurora • 716-687-3300 www.fisherpricetoystore.com The Fisher-Price® Toy Store is your headquarters for all things FUN! Come check out our large selection of toys and baby products for every occasion. We offer a baby shower registry for all your new baby needs. Our expert staff will be happy to assist you with any questions you have to find the right product or gift item. Still not sure what to get? We also have gift cards available in any denomination. Call our information line at 716-687-3300 to hear our store hours or get directions to our store. Like us on Facebook.

Gymnastics Unlimited Pottery Painting and Glass Fusing. Follow us on Facebook & Instagram

Now offering Pottery To Go Kits Individual Kits, as well as Parties to Go!

Open for walk-ins. Accepting reservations for private parties. 138 Grey Street, East Aurora, NY

716-655-4456 • www.designingdish.com

H H Open to the Public H H

Open Tumbling: Mon & Wed 8:50-9:45pm Open Workout: ages 6+ - Fri & Sat 7:15pm-9pm Toddler Time: up to age 5 - Wed & Th 12:15-1pm SUNDAYS e FREE infant sensory class: dul Call to Sche ages 6 wks to 16 months - Tu 12-12:30pm

Birth day Pa rties

70 Weiss Avenue • West Seneca, NY 14224

(716) 677-0338 H www.gymnastics-unlimited.net

~ Since 1973 ~

Monaco’s Violin Shop & Music Centre

~ Violins Annual Sale ~ Violas Nov. 26th - Dec. 23rd, 2021 ~ Cellos ~ Basses 688-8600 ~ Rentals www.MonacosViolinShop.com Parkway, Suite 106 ~ Repairs 55 CrossPoint Getzville, NY (off N. French between I-990 & Millersport) ~ Sales

12 WNY Family December 2021

70 Weiss Ave., W. Seneca/Orchard Park • 716-677-0338 www.gymnastics-unlimited.net GYMNASTICS will keep your child moving all winter! No need to be a member for these programs to burn off that winter energy: Open Workouts Fri. & Sat. from 7:15-9pm just $13 (6 yrs & up), Toddler time on Wednesday & Thursday from 12:15-1pm for 5 yrs & under, $7 per walking child and Open Tumbling on Monday & Wednesday from 8:50-9:45pm, $9. HOLIDAY GIFTS!!! For those gymnasts that like to practice at home, you may order Mats, handspring spotters, beams, bars, leotards and other gymnastics inspired gifts along with gift certificates for our programs.

Kid to Kid

1060 Niagara Falls Blvd., Tonawanda • 716-831-8300 www.kidtokid.com/tonawanda 980 Union Rd., Southgate Plaza, West Seneca • 716-675-0483 www.kidtokid.com/westseneca Holiday gift shopping at up to 70% off mall prices! We’re a family-owned, upscale resale store with two great locations in Tonawanda and West Seneca. We buy and sell the best of what kids outgrow: kids’ clothing sizes 0-14, shoes, toys, books, games, baby equipment, maternity wear and more. We buy all seasons all the time, no appointment necessary. It’s a win-win for parents...by trading in outgrown items and buying what’s needed now, and by giving another child an opportunity to love those items. Kid to Kid supports and donates to local charities. Open Mon-Sat 9am-8pm, Sun 12-5pm. Follow us on Facebook!

2021 Holiday

Edition

A downtown family shopping experience

November 27th to December 4th

Hyatt Regency Buffalo / Hotel and Conference Center 2 Fountain Plaza, Buffalo, NY, 14202

www.facebook.com/queencitypopup Monday - Friday 11am - 6pm Saturday 2pm to 8 pm • Sunday Noon - 5pm

Monaco’s Violin Shop & Music Centre

55 CrossPoint Parkway, Ste 106, Getzville • 716-688-8600 www.MonacosViolinShop.com Monaco’s Violin Shop is a family owned and operated business serving this area since 1973. Monaco’s is the only store in Western New York that specializes in the retail, rental, and repair of violins, violas, cellos, and basses. Exclusively at Monaco’s, come and see our carbon-composite instruments. We will be holding our annual sale through December 23rd on all instruments and accessories including, books, cases, bows, music stands, and musically inspired gifts. This year we will also be selling some retired rental instruments. Contact us for more details.

Niagara Climbing Center

1333 Strad Ave., North Tonawanda 716-695-1248 www.niagaraclimbingcenter.com Niagara Climbing Center, WNY’s original indoor rock climbing facility, has found a way to wrap up fun and adventure. This Holiday Season you can purchase Online Gift Cards in any dollar amount. Kids of all ages will love Niagara Climbing’s 6,000 square feet of climbing terrain. Whether you are an avid climber or have never climbed before, NCC has a variety of walls and routes to suit beginners, intermediate or advanced climbers. Click, call or stop in to purchase your holiday gift certificates. You can be confident your gift will be unique and the memories made at Niagara Climbing Center will not soon be forgotten.

Happy s y a d i l Ho from

December 2021 WNY Family 13

Past & Present

VISIT OUR FREE FOSSIL GALLERY! Hours: Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat 10-6 Wed & Thur 10-8 Sun 12-5 (for the holidays) Please call for additional hours

Fossils, Rocks & Minerals Amethyst Geodes Crystals & Tumbled Stone Science Discovery Kits Educational Toys • Books & Posters Jewelry • Agate Slices Unique Gifts From Around The World

Science & Nature Store and Fossil Gallery

Gift Certificates Available

3767 South Park Ave. Blasdell NY • 716-825-2361 • www.pastpres.com

Parkside Meadow

Corner of Parkside & Russell, Buffalo • 716-834-8348 www.parksidemeadow.com The Parkside Meadow - full bar and restaurant - is located on the corner of Parkside and Russell, across from the Buffalo Zoo. Enjoy a full menu of home cooked foods like Reubens, Albacore Tuna Melts, Beef on Weck, Quesadillas, home made soups and appetizers. Also noted for their huge fish frys and Shaved Lamb sandwich. A warm and friendly neighborhood pub, featuring historic Buffalo museum decor. Offering local taps plus Genesee Beer on Tap. Kids menu, friendly, casual. Hours: Wed. - Sat., 4:30pm - 8:30pm.

Past & Present Science & Nature Store

3767 South Park Avenue, Blasdell • 716-825-2361 www.pastpres.com Past & Present is a unique science & nature store offering unusual treasures from around the world. Fossils, rocks, minerals & crystals are some of the geologic wonders you might find for that one of a kind gift. Beautiful amethyst cathedrals, geodes & other natural pieces of art, along with handcrafted jewelry, are always available. Browsing our shop is a great experience for kids of all ages. Books, posters, science discovery kits & geology tools are just some of the great gift ideas available. Be sure to visit our free Fossil Gallery featuring dinosaurs, sharks, local & internationally found fossils.

Creating Smiles for over 100 years!

Find us on Facebook Clayton’s Toys 1396 Hertel Avenue • Buffalo, NY

(716) 939-3000

5225 Main St. • Williamsville, NY

(716) 633-1966

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14 WNY Family December 2021

Queen City Pop Up

2 Fountain Plaza, Buffalo www.facebook.com/queencitypopup Queen City Pop Up, Downtown Buffalo’s first pop up retail initiative will run from November 27th to December 4th, 2021 at the Hyatt Regency located at 2 Fountain Plaza, Buffalo, NY, 14202. We invite you to come shop at the Queen City Pop Up for all your holiday gifts as the Holiday Market will feature Buffalothemed gift boxes, Hair and skin care products, apparel and much more!

Raff and Friends

Eastern Hills Mall, 4545 Transit Rd., Williamsville 716-632-4202 www.raffandfriends.com Shop local this Holiday Season! Raff and Friends is a locally owned toy store located in the Eastern Hills Mall. The store is packed full of an incredible variety of quality products including Melissa and Doug, Playmobil, Breyer, Bruder, Squishables, Fisher Price and Mattel, fidget toys, science, books, puzzles and board games for all ages, and much, much more. Shop in store, MonSat 10-6, Sun 12-5. Or Checkout the online store at www.raffandfriends.com where you will find that perfect gift for that special someone on your holiday list. Raff and Friends also offers Curbside Pickup for your online orders.

ds at Hea r

op One St Riviera Theatre

67 Webster Street, North Tonawanda • 716-692-2413 www.RivieraTheatre.org The Riviera Theatre invites you to explore all of the fantastic holiday shows they have coming this season! Some of these shows include Gap Mangione & The New Big Band; The Barbra & Frank Holiday Show; Debby Boone Christmas; Christmas with The New York Tenors; A Carpenters Christmas, and a special Christmas WurliTzer Organ Concert. The Riv also offers Box Office Gift Cards, which can be purchased online or inperson for any amount. Discounted Memberships are available through the end of December, giving patrons the opportunity to purchase pre-sale tickets before the public to get the best seats in the house!

Holiday Shop for Kids and Kids at Hear t One Stop ~ Call for Holiday Hours ~ Eastern Hills Mall | Williamsville, NY 14221 | (716) 632-4202

Breyer Horses • Bruder Trucks • Science Plush • Puzzles • Games •

and So Much More! Shop online at www.raffandfriends.com

Shear Madness Haircuts for Kids

3316 Sheridan Drive, Amherst • 716-248-1455 3455 Amelia Drive, Orchard Park • 716-322-5332 100 Marketplace Drive, Rochester • 585-491-6555 www.shearmadnesskids.com Kids haircuts are our specialty! With mounted cars for styling chairs surrounded by televisions playing your favorite movies & Xboxes for the gamers, our salon is a fun center that provides a positive distraction & a MADtastic experience for young dudes & divas. We offer a first haircut package with scrapbook photos, our La De Da Spa focusing on nails, ear piercing & the full princess treatment. Shear Madness Gift Certificates make great stocking stuffers! Our fabulous YOUniquey Boutiquey offers the largest selection of bows, awesome gifts & fun finds! Plan your next party with us, Princess Diva day or a Super hero party!

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December 2021 WNY Family 15

make new oil and to bring about an eightnight-long festival of lights. Or, that’s the simple version at any rate.

4) What are we eating this time?

Lots of stuff with oil, because the oil lasted for eight days. The two most wellknown Chanukah foods are potato latkes and sufganiot. Latkes are what many people call potato pancakes. There’s not a big difference between a latke and a potato pancake, except that a truly traditional latke has chicken fat in it. Sufganiot is basically a jelly donut.

5) Why does my kid always come home from school singing about a dreidel?

Seven Things You Always Wanted to Know About Chanukah

(or Why is My Kid Singing About Dreidels?)

— by Jill Morgenstern

id you ever want to know more about the eightday celebration known as Chanukah, which this year began on November 28th and ends on December 6th? If you ever wondered about this holiday your child may have studied at school, here are some answers to questions you may have asked:

1) What’s the deal with the different spellings?

Chanukah or Hanukkah is a Hebrew word. That means the word is spelled with letters that are not in English. Some people have preferred spellings, but there is no correct spelling. I like to spell it as many ways as I can in a single document, both as a personal challenge and because I have a better chance of finding it with a search if I cover my bases. Some people say any spelling is correct as long as it has eight letters to represent the eight nights. 16 WNY Family December 2021

2) Why does it change dates?

Chanukah is celebrated on the 25th day of the month of Kislev on the Hebrew calendar. Because the Hebrew calendar measures lunar months, the date of Chanukah changes from year to year.

3) Why are we eating this time? Back when Greece ruled Israel, there was “a bad king” named Antiochus. He told Jewish people that they had to eat pigs. Pigs are not-kosher, meaning it’s against traditional Jewish law to eat them. There are a lot of things people who keep kosher are not supposed to eat, but for whatever reason, even people who don’t keep kosher sometimes draw the line at pig. Judah Maccabee and the Maccabees fought and fought the Greeks. The Greeks destroyed the Jewish temple and ruined all the holy oil. Obviously, the Jews lived. But they could only find one tiny bit of oil to last one day. Miraculously the oil lasted for 8 days, long enough to

There are plenty of Hanukkah songs, tons of them. But for whatever reason, every public school I’ve ever taught in or had a child in seems to only know that one song about the dreidel. Dreidel is a Hanukkah game involving a spinning top and what basically amounts to gambling for candy. Each letter on the dreidel is part of the acronym for “A Great Miracle Happened There.” The game is often played with Gelt (chocolate coins).

6) What about presents?

My understanding is that presents are only a big deal in places where Hanukkah “competes” for attention with Christmas. Some families do other special activities each night instead of presents. A friend and former coworker of mine plays Dreidel with a different type of candy each night.

7) What’s that menorah thing?

The commandment for Chanukah is to light the menorah. It holds eight candles, one for each night and also a shamash, or helper candle. On the first night, one candle plus the shamash is lit. The second night, two candles, and so on. This is done in celebration of the temple oil having lasted eight days. Jill Morgenstern is a Texas freelance writer, Jewish Sunday school teacher, and radio DJ. She has four children and a Master’s Degree in teaching reading.

The Gift — by Cheryl Maguire

n Christmas Eve I sat alone on a bench, in the middle of a crowded mall. My husband, Bob, and our daughters, ages twelve and nine, roamed the shops, in an attempt to find me the perfect Christmas gift even though I told them not to. Bob’s anxiety surrounding this situation caused him to procrastinate, which led to going to the mall an hour before it closed, on one of the busiest shopping days of the year. Since we had plans for dinner, I tagged along but wasn’t allowed to see what they were buying. The rendition of their shopping escapades went something along the lines of this: “Okay where should we go first?” Bob asked his daughters as his eyes darted from one store sign to the next. A panic sensation washed over his body, since the clock was ticking and he had no idea where to begin. He felt overwhelmed by the number of stores, because he rarely went to any of them, especially without me. “Let’s buy mom a purse,” one of my daughters responded. “Mom has a purse, let’s find her something else.” If I was there I would have asked, “Is it possible for a woman have too many purses?” The motley crew scampered into the largest department store in the mall. Bob proclaimed, “We are not leaving this store until we find a present for mom.” Little did he realize he was in the

high end, expensive store, Lord & Taylor. Bob spotted a pair of leather gloves and thought, “Cheryl’s hands are always cold this might be a good gift.” And then he saw the $200 price tag, which he thought seemed excessive for a pair of gloves so he placed it back on the shelf. “How about this coat?” his daughter asked. She was stroking a fur coat as if it was a pet dog. “We can’t get mom that, someone will throw a can of paint on her.” “Huh?” “Never mind, I was wrong about this store. Let’s find another one.” They scuttled over to the adjoining shop, Old Navy, and again he was oblivious as to what was sold there. A bead of sweat dripped down Bob’s forehead since he was in full-blown panic mode. A pair of leather gloves, similar to the ones he saw in Lord & Taylor, caught his attention. The price tag on these gloves was significantly different, at only $2. Glancing around the space he noticed signs that read, “Buy One Get One Free” or “50% off.” He didn’t want to spend $200 on a pair of gloves, but if he bought a $2 pair of gloves he thought he would appear cheap (although I love a good bargain so it would have been a good gift and my hands are always cold). Bob felt as if he was out of options, and desperate. The mall was closing in

thirty minutes. “Okay, let’s get a purse. Where do we go?” My daughter led the way. Before they entered the Coach store a woman greeted them and offered bottled water. Bob thought the salesperson viewed him as “catching a live one” since he waited until the last minute (thirty minutes before the mall closed) to buy a gift. The perspiration on his brow probably didn’t help his appearance either — she could literary see the desperation on his face. Our daughters helped Bob select a purse and then the “up sale” by the saleswoman began. “How about this star key chain. You could tell her ‘she’s a star’ when you give it to her.” After seeing the $100 price tag Bob said, “No thanks. I can tell her ‘she’s a star’ for free.” We left the mall with five minutes to spare until it closed. I loved the gift, but the humorous story about how they bought it was the best gift of all. Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine, and many other publications. This article was originally published on Signature Moms. December 2021 WNY Family 17

PICK OF THE LITERATURE — by Dr. Donna Phillips

Are You Open for Business? Are young families in our community your target audience? WNY Family Magazine reaches over 55,000 families in the Buffalo/Niagara region each month, in print and online!

any times those last minute holiday gifts turn out to be the best ones! This year’s holiday books are no exception! Just in time, I have received some of the best the season has to offer. There was just one big problem… there were so many I just could not decide which ones to share. Then I got a seasonal insight! I am going to share my list of the best of the Holiday Books for 2021, so you can decide for yourself!

Hanukkah Board Book Hello Hanukkah (Kar-Ben, New York, 2021, $7.99) written and illustrated by Susan S. Novich. Explore counting, colors, Hanukkah goodies, and a little Hanukkah history in this engaging eight-day adventure story.

Young Readers

Let our readers know that your doors are open and that you’re ready to welcome them back! Inform families of any special safety measures and policies they may need to know about before they visit you.

WNY Family Magazine is ready to help you re-introduce your business to our readers. Contact your Advertising Account Representative directly or call

716-836-3486 x 104 for more information. 18 WNY Family December 2021

The Three Latkes (Kar-Ben, New York, 2021, $7.99) written by Eric A. Kimmel and illustrated by Feronia Parker-Thomas. There is an argument between the red potato, the yellow potato, and the gold potato about which one of them make the best Hanukkah latkes. Of course, the only way to know is to have a bake-off and Cat gets to decide who wins. This story shares a baking adventure, classic toppings, and a recipe you can try to have your own bake-off! Older Readers Pinky Bloom and the Case of the Magical Menorah (Kar-Ben, New York, 2021, $8.99) written by Judy Press and illustrated by EricaJane Waters. This well-known Brooklyn kid detective has a case to solve! The case involves an ancient Israeli coin, a supposed magical menorah, a distracting little brother, and other strange events. This fun, easy to read, and engaging chapter book will be the perfect book to read aloud or silently in a cozy corner!

Christmas Board Books Elfie Selfie (Grosset & Dunlap, New York, 2021, $9.99) written by Jo Parker and illustrated by Debbie Palen. What can be more fun for young children than making faces? Maybe a book that encourages them to be an Elf and take selfies for Santa? Feelings and faces are something young children need to learn about and what a fun way to practice! Fa-la-la Llama (Cartwheel Books/Scholastic, New York, 2021, $9.99) written by Joan Holub and illustrated by Allison Black. This touch and feel book will engage your little ones in Christmas activities as Llamas sing, twirl, jingle bells, and celebrate the season! Christmas in the Stable (Scholastic, New York, 2021, $9.99) written by Rhonda Gowler Greene and illustrated by Virginia Allyn. This touch and feel book will invite your youngest into the Christmas Story with gentle round characters, beautiful pastel colors, and simple rhymes. Young Readers Christmas, Here I Come! (Grosset & Dunlap, New York, 2021, $5.99) written by D.J. Steinberg and illustrated by Laurie Stansfield. This delightful collection of holiday poems is just what you need to get ready for the Christmas season! There is a poem for everyone and everything, with fun stickers to add to the page or to use to create your own pictures! continued on page 53 December 2021 WNY Family 19

FAMILY TRAVEL — by Deborah Williams

As our lives are getting back to normal here, holiday festivals and celebrations are welcoming visitors in grand style this month — one in a small Finger Lakes town and the others in Canada.

It’s A Wonderful Life Festival

Maybe it is the magic of one of the most beloved movies ever made but Seneca Falls, in the heart of the Finger Lakes, is planning an impressive 75th anniversary celebration of the release of the movie It’s a Wonderful Life and all are invited this month. “Of course, we had to cancel last year’s annual festival, but this year is the real 75th anniversary of the movie’s release and we have big plans for our festival that runs from December 8-12,” explained Becky Bly, president of It’s a Wonderful Life Festival Committee.

20 WNY Family December 2021

“People come from all over the country, and we will be welcoming Frank Capra’s (the movie director) granddaughter and Donna Reed’s (the movie’s female lead) daughter among others.” Movie cast members will also be joining the celebration, signing autographs and meeting visitors. They include Karolyn Grimes (Zulu Bailey), Carol Coombs (Janie Bailey), Jimmy Hawkins (Tommy Bailey), Jeanine Roose (Young Violet Bick), Michael

Chapin (Young George’s friend) and Donald and Ronald Collins (Little Pete Bailey). Why would Seneca Falls be celebrating a major anniversary of a movie set in the mythical town of Bedford Falls? Because all indications are that Seneca Falls is the real Bedford Falls. Now there is even a website to affirm its status: therealBedfordFalls.com. The movie was filmed entirely in California as were most movies at that time. However, the physical similarities between Seneca Falls and Bedford Falls are striking, including the old Seneca Falls railroad station, local houses, the steel truss bridges, and the lower portion of Main Street had a median dividing the street, just as in the film. Frank Capra visited Seneca Falls while writing the script. A Seneca Falls barber, Tom Bellissima, recalled cutting the hair of a man who introduced himself as Frank Capra at the time when the screenplay was under development. Capra is known to have often visited relatives in nearby Auburn. Both being of Italian heritage, Tom Bellissima recalls joking with Frank Capra saying, “I’m the beautiful one and you’re the goat” continued on page 45

EXPLORING EDUCATION

WNY FAMILY MAGAZINE • DECEMBER 2021 • PULL-OUT & SAVE December 2021 WNY Family 21

— by Michele Miller

What’s Going On In New York’s Schools?

n preparing the content for this annual “Exploring Education” special section, it was impossible to ignore the topic of Critical Race Theory (CRT), which is currently in the news. Many parents across the United States became aware of it as they watched over their children’s shoulders during remote learning during COVID. But recent events in the state of Virginia became nationwide news and brought CRT to the attention of parents across the country. On November 2, 2021, Glenn Youngkin won an upset election for Governor of the State of Virginia, partly based on his appeal to parents who felt that “Critical Race Theory” being taught in Virginia’s schools was divisive and inappropriate. Youngkin won over Terry McAuliffe, who had previously served as Virginia Governor from 2014 to 2018, and who insisted that Critical Race Theory was not being taught in Virginia schools, even though it was, according to parents and material on the state’s own education department website. The turning point in the gubernatorial campaign seems to have come when McAuliffe said, “I don’t think parents should be telling schools what they should teach,” during a televised September debate. This particular election sparked a national debate on education and turned a spotlight on the fact that Critical Race Theory, taught in various forms and under different names, such as “Equity in Education,” depending on the state and 22 WNY Family December 2021

school district, is becoming increasingly controversial. According to Education Week, “A recent poll by the advocacy group Parents Defending Education (https://defendinged.org) claimed some schools were teaching that ‘white people are inherently privileged, while Black and other people of color are inherently oppressed and victimized’; that ‘achieving racial justice and equality between racial groups requires discriminating against people based on their whiteness’; and that ‘the United States was founded on racism.’” As has been reported, when a third grader comes home asking, “Am I evil because my skin is white?,” you can begin to understand why parents are questioning what is being taught in classrooms. And it’s not only white parents who are concerned. A Black mom recently interviewed on television spoke out against CRT saying that in order to believe in “white supremacy,” you have to believe in “black inferiority.” She confidently stated that her young child is inferior to no one and should not be made to feel oppressed or that she is a victim. Closer to home, do a Google search for “Buffalo Public Schools and Critical Race Theory” and you will find some astounding material. The Buffalo Public Schools are referred to as a “failure factory” which tells students that “all white people play a part in perpetuating systemic racism.” Read about it yourself;

we are not in a position to tell you what is right or what is wrong; what is true or what is false. Check it out and form your own opinions. What is important is that you, as a parent of a school-age child, are at least aware of the controversy. In searching for information on New York State Schools and Critical Race Theory, I found the following (see page 37) on the New York State Board of Regents website. It is an April 2021 draft from Board of Regents Chancellor Lester W. Young, Jr., outlining in great detail the framework that he hoped would become a policy statement to advance diversity, equity, and inclusion in New York’s schools. (The only text not included are the many footnote references for the statistics quoted.) It should also be noted that a “watered down” version was approved at the Board’s May 2021 meeting. (Visit https://www.regents.nysed. gov/meeting-archives-index to find it.) My own personal opinion of the framework is that it makes many valid points. Most would not argue that diversity and inclusivity are good things; that all children should be entitled to a quality education and we must do as much as possible to help achieve that goal for every child. The history of our country taught to our children in school should present all sides through a factual lens, without bias of any kind, racial or otherwise. But, as you read the text that follows you will find the sentence, “We must always be vigilant to guard against the dan-

ger of a single story.” I contend that the “single story” being put forth today that classifies all of America as “inherently racist” is insulting and wrong. If we were inherently racist, would we ever have elected Barack Obama, our first Black president, not once but twice?? “White privilege” also attempts to turn an entire race into “one story.” In my opinion, while eliminating racism in America is a laudable goal, denigrating one race to help elevate another is not the best way to succeed and unify us as Americans. In the Virginia election, not only was Glenn Youngkin, a white businessman and the father of four children, elected to office, but so was Winsome Sears, a Black woman brought to America by her Jamaican parents when she was a child. She served in the United States Marines, earned her Masters Degree, had been Vice President of the Virginia State Board of Education, and in November was elected as Virginia’s Lieutenant Governor, making history as the first woman and first woman of color to hold that position. In the same election, Jason Miyares, a Cuban-American whose mother fled communist Cuba with only the clothes on her back to legally immigrate to America, was elected Attorney General of Virginia. Certainly, the results of this election showed plenty of diversity and is further evidence of the lack of “inherent racism” among all Americans. While diversity, equity, and inclusion are excellent goals to strive for, the key lies in who controls the methods by which these goals are achieved when it comes to our children. Right now, some of the methods seem to be very controversial and all parents, regardless of color, need to stay aware about what is being taught in their child’s classroom. Perhaps the most important thing a parent can do is to teach your child from toddlerhood that we are all one people, regardless of the color of our skin. Young children are not born as racists. They learn from the adults around them. Your prejudice will become theirs. If we, as parents, don’t let that happen at home, there won’t be a need for Critical Race Theory to be taught in schools. ******** continued on page 37

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Obviously, kids shouldn’t need Adulting School or curated adversity. There are plenty of opportunities in everyday life to build resilience. But before we can help our kids leverage these opportunities we need to know what resilience is and what it is not.

We Need a Parenting Agenda Reset —

and

Resilience

Must Be the New Watchword.

In a chaotic, uncertain world we need to focus less on GPAs and test scores and more on creating “Challenge Handlers” says Dr. Michele Borba. Here’s how to get started.

merica’s kids are in trouble. Educational psychologist and bestselling author Michele Borba, Ed.D., says somewhere along the way they’ve failed to develop the resilience they need to thrive in a chaotic and uncertain world. Not only has suicide in young people been steadily increasing since 2007, the pandemic has only amplified their already troubling rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation and planning. Dr. Borba, author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, March 2021) says these scary stats underscore the need for a parenting agenda reset. “For a long time, parents have bought into the cultural emphasis on GPA and test scores, assuming these will secure the brass ring of success for their kids,” she says. “But what we really need to focus on is resilience. COVID has been a huge disruption, but it’s surely not the last. Life won’t get any easier and kids need to be able to meet the challenges when they come.” Dr. Borba says tomorrow’s successful adults will be today’s young problem solvers and challenge handlers. That’s why our focus needs to be on helping kids develop a sense of agency and a mindset of possibility. Then, when there is an adverse 24 WNY Family December 2021

In studying resilience, Dr. Borba found that it has nothing to do with GPA, zip code, or DNA. She combed the science and found that resilient kids — those who endured even through extreme adversity like war, poverty and abuse — possess seven core character strengths: self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism. Each strength is built when kids are encouraged to practice ordinary life skills.

How to Create “Bounce-Back” Kids

Recognize that resilience can be taught. Be intentional about adding resilience-building skills to your parenting agendas. For example:

moment the kid won’t wave the white flag and say, “I can’t do it.” Instead they’ll say, “Okay, I’ll figure another way around it.”

• Join like-minded parents who are committed to raising mentally strong children to support each other in your parenting endeavors.

Resilience will help kids achieve academically and professionally, but even more important, it will help them navigate the massive challenges life is sure to throw at them.

• Learn more about resilience. Start a book club and read Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine to discuss the science and how to apply it to raising resilient kids.

“The days of June Cleaver and Mayberry are long gone, if they ever existed at all,” says Dr. Borba. “What might be coming next? A natural disaster? A parent losing their job? Another virus? Kids have to learn that the world is uncertain but they’ll get through it. And they have to have a mindset that believes things can and will get better.”

• Choose one resilience-building skill a month to teach your child (like how to solve a problem, make a friend, or learn a coping strategy). Pass your resiliencebuilding plan on to relatives, teachers, daycare providers, or friends so they can reinforce your plan whenever they are with your child.

Unfortunately, Dr. Borba points out, a lot of our well-meaning, modern-day parenting efforts like overparenting, helicoptering, and coddling actually harm resilience. Why? Because they rob kids from learning the self-efficacy they need to handle life. “Exhibit A is the existence of ‘Adulting School,’” says Dr. Borba. “This is a growing business that offers classes to young adults, teaching them how to perform tasks like setting goals, managing money, making beds, and even folding laundry. Also, consider that parents of kids in elite schools are even trying to ‘curate adversity’ to ‘build resilient kids.’”

Don’t helicopter or bubblewrap your kids. Resilient kids have a strong “We got this” attitude that comes from recognizing that they can handle challenges. Always stepping in and doing tasks for children only robs them of their potential to thrive. If you recognize that you are a manager, then back up and switch your role to more of a cheerleader. And set one new parenting rule: “Never do for my child what they can do for themselves.” Every month or every week, choose one developmentally appropriate skill to teach your child (making a bed, doing the wash, or making a dentist appointment, for example). Then teach the skill using a

three-step model: 1) Show how to do the task; 2) Do the task together; and 3) Step back and watch. Once your child masters the skill, step back and vow to never do the task for your child again. Encourage problem solving, but don’t wait for a huge problem. Start with little ones. For example, he lost his homework. Don’t scurry around finding it for him. Instead, ask your child to help create a solution so he doesn’t lose it again. It’s a life lesson that helps kids develop agency.

What is your end game? WHAT STUDENTS H To Develop Emotional Intelligence ARE SAYING... H To increase students/players sense of self, belonging, and direction “This makes so H To address diversity, inclusion, implicit bias, and equity much sense as to H To learn who the people who make up your system why I do what I do and how to build H To learn to embrace and leverage differences my future knowing H To know how to reach students and players emotionally and behaviorally my strengths.” H To decrease Judgement amongst your team or students H To harness control over ones emotions to eliminate emotional manipulation H To gift someone the self esteem to advocate for their strengths in a system it built for them

“Resilience is the culmination of all these little successes kids find by facing those teeny everyday challenges that come up along We customize the workshop or 1:1 session based on the individual or group needs to achieve life success. the way,” says Dr. Borba. “Each triumph helps the child recognize that there’s no problem so great that can’t be solved — it’s just a For More Information: 716.946.4502 matter of hanging in there and dealing with problems in a smart www .YourEndGame.org way.” Now Enrolling for the 2020 - 2021 School Year Widen your kid’s horizons by putting together a support team to count on. Studies show that kids growHoly ing up in extreme adversity were still able to bounce back. One of in Hi Ghost Gradua tes Excel gh S c h o o l and Beyond the big protective factors in their lives are “caring champions” who refuse to give up on them. Help your child recognize who their Providing Quality Christian Education champions are. Broaden your child’s people zones to include teachfor over 175 years ers, coaches, grandparents, friends, etc. — people that they can Accredited PreSchool & Kindergarten Gr. 8 Programs reach out to and that they know how and where to do so if needed. E Expanded Preschool Program For 3’s & 4’s AC SP ED IT LIM Provide the gift of protective buffers. A stark AVAILABLE Full Day & 5 Days / Week Options commonality of kids who thrive is that they have learned ways to Small Class Sizes in a Safe Environment! ing fostrategies Yearas EnrollThose r the 20or20challenge overcome adversity. Now School serve - 2021 handlers NOW ENROLLING for the 2022 - 2023 School Year a protective shield/armor to defray the stress and help them endure. Studies find that many of these strategies are what we’d consider HOLY GHOST LUTHERAN SCHOOL 6630 Luther St., Wheatfield, NY 14304 simple and ordinary things like a sense of humor, prayer, reading, 731-3030 • www.holyghostlcms.org walking in nature, or a hobby. Kids learn them at a young age and continue to use them all their life to decompress. Amongst our important resilient-building tasks is to ensure that each of our children has discovered an ordinary strategy that works for them to decompress. Many parents introduce hobbies (biking, knitting, book clubs, yoga, or woodworking) to their children or start family hobby days to see what resonates. Think about what you’re modeling. Resilient kids usually have a resilient parent. If your kid had only your actions to watch, what did they see today? Did you give up or did you say, “I’ve got this, I’ll get through it”? Did you get frustrated or show how you reduced your stress? Your voice becomes your kid’s inner voice. Your behavior becomes your child’s template to copy. “Let’s make a pact to stop hovering and build strong kids from the inside out,” says Dr. Borba. “A stark commonality amongst Thrivers is that they develop autonomy so they can steer their own ship. It starts by helping our kids learn to take some control and make their own decisions. That requires that we abstain from always managing, directing, and supervising their lives.” About Michele Borba, Ed.D.: She is an internationally renowned educational psychologist and an expert in parenting, bullying, and character development. A sought-after motivational speaker, she has spoken in nineteen countries on five continents, and served as a consultant to hundreds of schools and corporations including Sesame Street, Harvard, U.S. Air Force Academy, eighteen U.S. Army bases in Europe and the Asian-Pacific, and more. She is an NBC contributor who appears regularly on Today and has been featured as an expert on Dateline, The View, Dr. Phil, NBC Nightly News, Fox & Friends, Dr. Oz, and The Early Show, among many others.

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Knowing How to Follow Directions

— by Jan Pierce

It may seem easy to adults, but children often don’t know how to follow directions. Most directions are sequential: “Get your paper, write your name at the top, then do problems one through ten.” For some children all the words get jumbled up and they fail to do the first thing correctly. You can practice following directions at home and teach coping skills if the child forgets. Listening and following directions are key skills in learning and the earlier children can perform in these areas, the better they’ll do on classroom assignments.

Tips to Help Your Child Gain Confidence in the Classroom

ur children have had a rough several years of learning due to the pandemic and now it’s time to re-focus on classroom interactions. Some younger children haven’t had time to experience the way a classroom normally works. How do they behave in a large group? What if they need help? What if they make a mistake? How responsive will the teacher be to individual needs? Parents can help children take optimal advantage of their learning environment by teaching some basic learning skills. Your child doesn’t have to be top of the class to enjoy learning and be a thriving, healthy part of his or her classroom. Here are some tips to help your child be a proactive, happy learner:

Be Prepared to Learn Teachers notice when children come to school prepared to learn. They have the right supplies; they’ve eaten breakfast and have had enough sleep. They brought back the permission slip for the field trip and they have their lunch money. Yes, it’s a lot of work for parents to keep up with all the activities at school. And at some point children need to take 26 WNY Family December 2021

responsibility for those things themselves, but not yet. Not when they’re in grade school and are just learning how to manage responsibilities. Be the parent who takes care of business and put your child in the best position to receive approval from the folks at school.

Knowing When to Listen Carefully The best student in the world can’t be on high listening alert all day long. But successful students know when to listen carefully and that is one of the most important skills a student can learn. You can explain to your child that it’s vital to listen carefully when a teacher is giving exit directions before independent work times. These times usually come when the entire class is gathered and a new subject is introduced. Just before the children move to work independently the explicit directions are given. Good teachers usually leave written directions where students can refer to them as they work. Practice listening skills with your children. When are the times you need them to listen and remember? Help them see the difference between casual listening and focused listening when they need to act on the directions given.

Play a game in which you give two directions: “Go to the door and tap on it three times, then stand by the coffee table.” When the child can do two directions correctly try for three. Keep adding until a mistake is made. Children can become quite adept at following directions using this method.

Knowing How to Ask Questions Here is a typical conversation in a first grade classroom: Teacher: Does anyone have any questions before we start our work? Student: “My hamster had babies last night.” This little interchange may bring smiles to adults’ faces, but it highlights the fact that many children don’t know the difference between statements and questions. And, they don’t understand the difference between appropriate questions and those that are off-task. Asking questions at the appropriate time and about the topic at hand is absolutely one of the most important skills a learner can master. It’s good to ask questions when we need information or clarification. It’s smart to ask good questions. But a child who hasn’t really mastered the art of asking will be lost, and without the information they need to do a good job. Practice asking clear, concise questions. “I understand how to write complete sentences using these words, but continued on page 43

December 2021 WNY Family 27

— by Louise Hajjar Diamond, MS.

To School or Not to School A School Counselor’s Perspective of

Home School vs. Institutional School

efore the pandemic, about 4% of American students were homeschooled. That number has increased to over 10% in the past year and a half. Many parents are choosing home school so their children can avoid the rigid COVID restrictions such as wearing masks and social distancing rules. Others are choosing not to send their kids to school, because of school shootings, bullying, and curricula reasons. As a school counselor, my biggest concern last year was to get the kids back in the building for in person learning. I knew we would have to deal with the burden of mask wearing and other restrictions, but I knew that virtual learning was not working for most families and it was causing psychological damage to many of the students I was counseling. I was grateful to have the large majority of our students back on campus last year for the 2020-2021 school year. As the year progressed, more and more of our students returned to campus. For the most part, the parents were thrilled to have their children back in school, even if it meant restrictions, no sports, or other extracurricular activities. On the down side, I noticed that our test scores were much lower than in previous years. Some parents complained to me that their students had headaches and had trouble with the mask wearing. No one wanted to mention the elephant in the room regarding the masks, but restricted oxygen can interfere with learning. 28 WNY Family December 2021

It was sad to me that our students, especially the youngest, couldn’t see the smiles of their teachers welcoming them back to the classroom. I also noticed difficulty with children learning phonics and many students were reluctant to talk and respond in class because it was so difficult to communicate and be heard with the mask. This also led to more social interaction reluctance, in addition to the fact that they couldn’t get within six feet of each other. As a counselor, I found it sad, but we viewed it as necessary and at least we had the kids back on campus so, we dealt with it. As the new school year began, we were hopeful to have fewer restrictions, and in most schools we do. Sports and other extracurricular activities are back! Most schools are recognizing the danger of students wearing masks outside, especially during vigorous physical activity. We are moving forward, yet the school year has proven to be less than normal. Many parents are very concerned about the pressures to have their children vaccinated against a virus with such a high recovery rate, especially in children. There are so many unknown factors and many risks for young people to be vaccinated. What is a parent to do? For the first time in many years, parents are thoroughly questioning education — and well they should! Most parents want their children in a safe learning environment where they can learn academics and have a positive social experience. Parents do not want their children exposed to controversial

curriculum. For these reasons many people are considering homeschooling or non-public education. Good for them! I encourage parents to ask questions, be involved, and do your research before enrolling your child in any school or program. In my book, Creating the Balance: Parenting Through the Middle School Years, I have an entire chapter dedicated on choosing the right school. It provides detailed, insider information for parents to use when choosing the right school for their child and family. If homeschooling is done well, students have the potential of achieving academically as well as or higher than those in a traditional school. Homeschoolers work at their own pace and work toward mastery. Many of them go on to college and are quite successful in life. Despite the obvious benefits of homeschooling, such as flexibility in the schedule, knowing exactly what your child is learning, avoiding the bureaucratic part of education, and not being exposed to the potential of school violence and COVID restrictions, it is not the answer for every family. The downside of exclusive, prolonged homeschooling could lead to students missing out on many of the non-academic skills learned by attending school. For example, there is value in learning how to wait your turn, working with others in groups that may not agree with you, and having to problem solve social situations without parental involvement. Other benefits of attending school include having to be graded or critiqued by an objective person other than your parent. Students learn how to manage their time if they have several tests or projects due on the same day. Kids are exposed to others who are not like-minded and gain respect for other points of view. There is excitement in school spirit in belonging to something bigger than yourself. Not to mention school assemblies, sports, dances, performances, awards, competitions, and other fun events. Students also learn about healthy peer competition and how to deal with rejection, failure, and various situations. School can be fun and a source of making life-long friends and memories. These are very valuable life

skills that we all need to live in the real world. However, if you aren’t comfortable with school options in your area, don’t feel compelled to send your child. There are many home school options now including great online curricula for home schoolers. Parental monitoring and supervision are crucial for a student to be successful as a homeschooler. Students shouldn’t be at home for the entire day alone home schooling themselves. There are many social groups now that allow for students to be educated with other children and even take some educational field trips. They may have enrichment subjects such as music, art, physical education, sports, and other extra-curricular activities, etc. Some parents are hiring certified teachers to teach groups in small groups and being creative with homeschool situations. Some home school options are religious, while others are not. Research home schooling options in your area or region to meet the needs of your child and your comfort level. Home schooling may be a great option for students who are struggling with medical or mental health issues. It allows them to continue their education without the constraints of having to be in school. If you have more than one child in school at the same time, don’t feel compelled to send them all to the same school out of convenience. Do what is right for each. There is no such thing as the ideal school environment or perfect situation. We learn from having to deal with some adversity. We learn valuable life lessons from failure, mistakes, and struggles. My suggestion is to do research before enrolling your child in school so he or she may have a healthy and positive experience. As we know, kids don’t always know what’s best for them. It is ideal if you and your child agree on the school choice, but if there is a difference of opinion, use your parental judgment and make the decision. Louise Hajjar Diamond, M. S. is the author of “Creating the Balance: Parenting Through the Middle School Years” (available on Amazon). She has been a school counselor for 31 years in South Florida and is the mother of two young adults.

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Countdown to

— by Janeen Lewis

“At one of my children’s colleges, extracurricular activities were really important,” Fain said. “At the other one, they didn’t matter as much.”

e g e l Col

Clark says one out of every four students who apply to the college where he works are accepted. “Most students that apply have good test scores, good grades, and good courses. Then the review committee asks ‘Is this kid a good fit for us?’”

Tips to Help Students Find Their Fit

he road from high school to college may seem like four of the most challenging years families face. There are deadlines, tough financial choices, and parents and children don’t always agree on colleges. If that isn’t stressful enough, every year there are tasks that high school students should be checking off their to-do list. How do parents help their high school students navigate all the details and decisions they must make during their countdown to college? Here is some advice from the pros — a parent who’s been through the process and a college admissions counselor.

Starting the Conversation

It all starts with a conversation between parent and child. But often the question that starts the conversation is the wrong one, according to Rick Clark, an undergraduate college admissions counselor. “Parents ask, ‘Where do you want to go to college?’” Clark says. The biggest question that parents don’t ask or lose sight of is “Why do you want to go to college?” That “why” is important, and should be followed up with questions like “What do you hope to get out of this? What do you want to study? What do you want to do long-term?” says Clark.

Freshman Year: The Importance of Academics Rachael Fain, a mom of three, stresses the importance of the GPA during freshman year. Fain’s daughter, Hannah, graduated from college in 2017. Fain also has two sons, Matthew, who graduated from college in 2020, and Andrew, a college junior. “My 30 WNY Family December 2021

roles in clubs and activities. It’s hard to do it all, so how important are the extracurricular activities? It depends on the student and the college.

children started taking high school classes in eighth grade,” Fain says. “A GPA is harder to bring up in junior and senior year, so our goal their eighth and ninth grade years was to keep their GPAs high.” The freshman year is also important for getting on a challenging track of classes. “Course choice is important,” Clark says. “Math in particular is something students need to pay attention to.” Taking challenging classes in high school helped Fain’s son Matthew make his college decision. He decided to pursue his degree at the university where he took dual credit courses when he was in high school. Andrew also took dual credit courses in high school to lighten his load once he got to college. That worked out well when COVID hit and Andrew took a semester off but did not fall behind in his course work.

Sophomore Year: Getting to Know You Tenth grade is a good year for self-reflection. Students can take personality tests and the PSAT to figure out their strengths and weaknesses. They can also start thinking about the kind and size of school they want to attend. Understanding what they are good at will help high school students be realistic about the school that is the best fit for them.

Junior Year: Balancing Grades and Activities Grades are crucial during the junior year. Junior year also involves a more challenging track of classes and leadership

Clark says they look for students who are innovative or who are entrepreneurs, and they ask, “How does this student use their time?” “If they are a good student who goes home and plays video games, what will they contribute to the school?” Clark says. But it stands out if students are responsible, if they work a job, or if they make an impact some way.

Senior Year: Find Your Fit Clark says the most important thing about making a college decision is finding a good fit. “Fit doesn’t really mean can the student do the work, but are they aligned well to the school.” For example, Clark says two universities can look the same on paper. A student will apply to each with the same grades and same test scores and get accepted to one and not the other. “That is what fit is,” Clark says. “How a student fits with a school, not just from an academic standpoint.” If you and your child do not agree on the same school, Clark says how you approach the topic may resolve a lot of conflict over the situation. “Continue to tell your kids you love them, and that no matter where they go to college, it will be great.” The good news is that there are many schools across the country and probably more than one of them will match your student’s personality and academic standing. “If you or your child feels overwhelmed, take a deep breath and remember there is a school for every student,” says Fain. Janeen Lewis is a nationally published writer, teacher, and mom to Andrew and Gracie.

Countdown to College Checklist

Preparing for college can be overwhelming for high school students and their parents because of the many steps it takes to get an acceptance letter. But breaking the college to-do list into manageable steps for each year of high school makes the process less stressful and teaches students responsibility, the very thing they will need for what they want to achieve — a college education. Follow this step-by-step guide for a smoother countdown to college.

Freshman Year

• Talk to your parents and guidance counselor at the beginning of the year to set goals. • Take the most challenging courses available to you. • Make good grades. • Try a variety of activities. • Take advantage of opportunities to visit college campuses when you travel.

Sophomore Year

• Visit college and career fairs. If you are social distancing, schedule virtual

tours of colleges of interest or consider self-guided tours on campuses. Check out updated health and masking guidance at schools you visit in person. • Build your resumé. Make a list of awards, accomplishments, and activities. • Take the PSAT for practice (you can take it your sophomore and junior year, but it won’t count until you are a junior). • Start studying for the ACT and SAT. There are many test prep guides available online and in book form. • Assess your strengths and weaknesses and take a personality inventory. • Research possible careers. • During the summer begin researching colleges that might be a good fit.

Junior Year

• Take the PSAT. • Accept leadership roles in the activities that suit you best. • Narrow your list of possible careers. • Narrow your list of possible colleges.

• Take the ACT and SAT. • During the summer volunteer or find an internship or job related to your future career. • Write a college entrance essay draft. Have it critiqued by a guidance counselor or teacher.

Senior Year

• Narrow your college search to six to eight schools. • Post all important deadline dates on a wall calendar. • Retake the ACT or SAT if needed. • Polish your resumé. • Ask for teacher recommendations. • Visit the colleges you are applying to. • Send out all your college applications. • After you receive your acceptance letters, compare scholarship and financial aid packages and make your final decision. • Notify all the schools you were accepted to of your decision.

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o you’d like to further your education, but with a job and a family, you don’t know where you’d find time for the commute and classes, let alone to study? Even if you could, there are the ever-increasing costs for courses and books to squeeze into your budget. Fortunately, today, there are many ways to overcome these obstacles.

How Women Can Earn a College Degree

These usually require attendance (at your computer) at specific times. Correspondence courses are a good option also because there are no schedules. They typically allow six to eighteen months for completion with extensions up to one year. Evening and weekend courses, as well as accelerated programs, also offer some flexibility.

How to Pay for Tuition & Books

If you’re undecided about your career goals, get started by reading What Color is Your Parachute by Richard Nelson Bolles, or Who Do You Think You Are? by Keith Harary and Eileen Donahue. You can also check with a local institution for the MyerBriggs Type Indicator test to discover your interests and strengths.

There are many options for financing your education. The Federal Pell Grant is awarded based on financial need. The maximum award amount for the 2022-2023 school year will be $8,370.

Next, list your educational goals and discuss the importance of them with your family to gain their support.

 The Federal Supplemental Education Opportunity Grant (FSEOG)

Finally, visit nearby colleges or visit their websites. Find out which offer the courses, degree, and options for earning credits that suit your needs.

 The Federal Work Study program

Several other options include:

 The Federal Perkins Loan  Federal Subsidized Stafford Loan

Non-Traditional College Credit

Today, more and more accredited colleges offer a variety of options for earning nontraditional course credit. Look into this first to save time and money. At some colleges, you can earn SelfAcquired Competency (SAC) credits, which may have different names at various institutions. Such credits are available for a wide range of skills and life experiences. They require compiling a portfolio for faculty evaluation. In your portfolio, you can include on-the-job training, work and volunteer experience, workshops, seminars, and more. If you served in the military, you might be eligible for Military Service Credit for education you gained through schools, experience, or service. You can also earn credits by examination. Some of these include:  Credits for College-Level Examination Programs (CLEP)  Advanced Placement Examinations (AP)  Defense Activity for NonTraditional Education Support (DANTES) Credit by examination can also save 32 WNY Family December 2021

 Federal Unsubsidized Stafford Loan

— Without Giving Up Their Family, Job, or Going Broke — by Kimberly Blaker time and money if you have knowledge in a particular area or if you study and test well. But be sure to check with your institution before enrolling since credit may not be awarded following admission. Another possibility for credits is if you’ve completed any non-collegiate or in-company sponsored programs or courses. Find out if those programs or courses are any of the thousands reviewed by the American Council on Education (ACE). If so, ask your academic institution if they award credits based on ACE recommendations.

Correspondence & Online Courses

Independent study programs offer a couple of options. You can take online courses in the convenience of your home.

Many scholarships are also available. For example, if you’re a single mother, you might qualify for grants and scholarships available to single parents. Ask your academic institution what it offers. A wide variety of other scholarships are available as well. Check with your institution, a scholarship guide, or an online scholarship search. Ask your employer if it offers reimbursement for college courses. If the classes relate to your job, your employer may cover the costs. Finally, don’t forget the Lifetime Learning Credit and American Opportunity Tax Credit, available for eligible taxpayers. Specific requirements and restrictions apply. More resources for financial assistance:  Visit Fast Web for information on colleges and a scholarship search at http://www.fastweb.com  For information on federal student aid programs and federal education tax credits, visit https://studentaid. ed.gov/resources

Coordinating Multiple Responsibilities

Like most women, you probably wear many hats. But with a little planning and finesse, you can develop workable solutions that’ll free-up time for your studies. Start by making a list of all your responsibilities, then cross off anything unnecessary. Where else can you save time? You can do housecleaning every ten to fourteen days rather than weekly. Skip cleaning anything that isn’t in dire need until the next time. Straighten up only the main rooms daily. Others can wait. Make a pact to limit volunteering your time until you’ve reached your educational goals. If “No” isn’t in your vocabulary, create reminder cards. Then put them by the phone and in your purse, so you’ll be prepared to say “No” at all times. Assign your children some additional chores. Discuss the importance of furthering your education with your partner. Ask which responsibilities he or she is willing to take over until you’ve accomplished your goals. Exchange babysitting with a friend, neighbor, or relative for some quiet study time. Set a schedule with your partner for watching the kids so you can study at the library. Ask your employer if you can take shorter lunch breaks and leave earlier. Another possibility is for your employer to allow you fewer but longer workdays for an extra day off to study each week. Kimberly Blaker is an author and freelance writer. Her articles have appeared in more than 250 newspapers, parenting and women’s magazines, and other publications throughout the U.S.

Educational insight

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tors her academic and personal growth throughout her educational journey. Additionally, SEM’s College Counseling Office emphasizes individual exploration, demystify the daunting college process for students and their families. Offering 19 AP classes 73 electives, more than 25 student-run clubs, 16 athletic teams, and incredible theatre and arts programming, options for SEM students abound. Flexible Learning by Design is a distinctive SEM initiative that encourages students to balance their challenging academics with the pursuit of their extracurricular interests. SEM students who are currently participating in Flexible Learning by Design complete their schoolwork remotely while traveling to out-of-town competitions in equestrian, dance, and figure skating, just to name a few. SEM is accredited by the New York State Association of Independent Schools (NYSAIS) and is a member of the National

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Please visit our website for OPEN HOUSE information and updates 2999 Eggert Rd. | Tonawanda, New York

716-836-2230 www.stameliaschool.org

PROVIDING A PREMIER EDUCATION SINCE 1960 At St. Gregory the Great, our goal is to develop students who learn, live and lead as Disciples of Christ. We focus on prayer, positive relationships and a rigorous academic curriculum while instituting a COVID safe learning environment.

St. Andrew’s Country Day School

100 Years of Excellence in Education

With part-time and full-time options for PreK3 and PreK4, St. Andrew’s offers active learning and character development. PK through Grade 8 programming includes Spanish, integrated STREAM, a wide variety of arts opportunities and more.

Highest Ranked Private School in Amherst 2020 Business First Rankings.

PRIVATE TOURS AVAILABLE BY APPOINTMENT

January 30, 2022

(716) 877-0422

1545 Sheridan Drive | Kenmore, NY 14217

(716) 877-0422 http://standrewscds.net

Call to schedule a tour!

Offering Preschool 3 & 4, Early Kindergarten and K - 8 academic programs

Our Open House is scheduled for Sunday, January 30, 2022 10:30-12.30pm By appt. only, register today using the QR Code

OPEN HOUSE

10:30am - 12:30pm

Bad Weather Date: February 6, 2022

@stgregsthegreat

3980 Main St. | Amherst, NY 14226

250 St. Gregory Ct. | Williamsville, NY 14221

716-835-2518 www.StBenSchool.org

information@stgregsschool.org

(716) 688-5323

December 2021 WNY Family 35

Developing the Whole Child

St. John the Baptist School, Kenmore Teaching Minds • Touching Hearts • Transforming Lives

Pre-K 3 to Grade 8

CATHOLIC DIOCESE JOINT AD

OPEN HOUSE

Sunday, January 30th

1:00 - 3:00 p.m. RESERVATIONS REQUIRED 1085 Englewood Avenue | Buffalo, NY 14223

(716) 877-6401 www.stjohnskenmore.com

Private Catholic School Pre-K to 8

100 Years of Education, Faith and Tradition

3275 Main St. Buffalo

399 Woodward Avenue Buffalo 14214

Joy in Learning Arrange for a private tour

(716)835-7395 awojick@stjosephbuffalo.org

(716) 836-1191 www.saintmarkschool.com

St. Mary’s Elementary Educating Minds Since 1837

PreK 3 through Grade 8 State-of-the-art Technology Middle School Advanced Courses STREAM Academies, Clubs, Sports, AM/PM Latch Key

St. Mary School Swormville

provides the Northern Erie and Southern Niagara area with Christ-centered academic excellence in a welcoming safe environment.

Dedicated to the whole child... Serving the entire family since 1849.

CALL TODAY

FOR A PERSONAL TOUR

(716) 689-8424

6919 Transit Road | East Amherst

www.stmaryschoolswormville.org 36 WNY Family December 2021

Pre-K 3 & Pre-K 4 full day, Kindergarten-8th grade We make a difference!! SME offers solid academics to help students succeed, have a sense of stewardship for creation as well as giving constant reinforcement of the values of respect, integrity, and faith. WE are so much more than just a school! Regents Science, Integrated Algebra, Spanish, Academic Intervention Services, Early Morning drop off - no charge, After School Care Program. 2 St. Mary’s Hill | Lancaster, NY

(716) 683-2112 smeschool.com

St. Peter R.C. School offers a rigorous curriculum aligned to NYS standards, in a Christ-centered environment focused on Catholic doctrines and teaching. Implementing best instructional practices and differentiated instruction to meet the needs of all learners.

OPEN HOUSE

Sunday, January 30th 9 AM - 1:00 PM

140 N. Sixth St. | Lewiston, NY 14092

(716) 754-4470 www.stpeterlewiston.org

WHATS GOING ON IN NY SCHOOLS continued...

Southtowns Catholic School

Education for the Future; Values for Life

We emphasize spiritual, personal and social development along with intellectual and academic achievement of all students. Preschool 3 year old program (FULL DAY) Before School Program starting at 6:30 AM and After School Child Care until 6:00 PM Full Time Nursing Staff Remedial & Resource center: Speech, OT & PT available on site Tuition assistance is available! Sprawling Green Campus

OPEN HOUSE January 31, 2022 10:30am - 1pm.

2052 Lakeview Road | Lake View NY 14085

(716) 627-5011 www.southtownscatholic.org

The New York State Board of Regents Framework on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in New York’s Schools: A Call to Action (Draft – April 2021) INTRODUCTION New York State Constitution authorizes the Board of Regents to oversee the general supervision of all educational activities within the State. The Regents exercise their authority in various ways, including by promulgating rules and regulations, adopting student learning standards, establishing academic and graduation requirements, and providing guidance and best practices to the field. The Board may also exercise its authority by adopting policy positions on issues of significant educational and societal importance. It is important for the Board of Regents to establish and communicate to all New Yorkers its beliefs and expectations for all students — especially at pivotal moments in history. The nation is at such a moment now. Finally, we appear ready to address our long history of racism and bigotry, and the corrosive impact they have had on every facet of American life.

These national tragedies have combined to create a perfect storm – a storm that is powerful enough to propel us beyond the systemic racism that has come to define America’s institutions. This systemic racism pervades all aspects of our lives, including policing, education, healthcare, employment, housing, access to capital, and in almost every other conceivable realm. It limits our potential as individuals, as communities, and as a nation. There is no single, isolated answer that will solve these pervasive problems; rather, the approach must be holistic and inclusive – and the State Education Department and New York’s schools will be an integral part of the solution. The way we educate new generations of students will shape our nation’s course for years to come.

A confluence of events has brought us to this point of reckoning, including:

THE DANGER OF A SINGLE STORY

• The senseless, brutal killing of Black and Brown men and women at the hands of law enforcement – and the ensuing demands for real and enduring racial justice in the face of this inhumanity;

At Stella Niagara, we integrate traditional classroom teaching with innovative outdoor experience. Students learn, explore, experiment and become enriched by outdoor activities that integrate nature into their everyday classwork!

Financial Assistance is available. For more information, contact Amy Reynolds at areynolds@stella-niagara.com. 4421 Lower River Road, Between Lewiston & Youngstown | Stella Niagara, NY 14144

716-754-4314 www.stella-niagara.com

Private Co-Educational Catholic School Montessori Pre-K, Kindergarten – 8th Grade

impact of this pandemic has surfaced and further exacerbated long-standing educational inequities, predominantly impacting Black, Latinx, Asian, Indigenous and poor student populations and students with disabilities. Additionally, school closures and the resulting learning loss for our most marginalized students compound existing learning disparities, leading to the potential for poor life outcomes and lingering long-term effects.

• A dangerous spike in violence aimed at Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders – fueled in part by lies that attempt to link the Asian community with the creation and spread of the Coronavirus; • A renewed wave of discrimination and hateful rhetoric directed at those thought to be different or somehow “not quite” American, including (but not limited to) Jewish Americans, Muslim Americans, LGBTQ individuals, individuals with disabilities, immigrants and refugees, especially those arriving at the southern border. • The terrible toll that COVID-19 has had on all our lives, communities, and school systems. The disproportionate

Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie warned of the dangers inherent in telling a story from only one perspective. She explained that “the single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” When one story becomes the only story, it becomes the “definitive” story. But when that happens in school, it cheats students of the opportunity to learn the entirety of the nation’s history. And it deprives many of them the chance to see themselves as part of the American story. How can students fully comprehend Westward Expansion without knowing what it was like for Native Americans to be violently displaced from their homes and forced to walk the Trail of Tears? How can they understand the full impact of America’s involvement in World War continued on page 38 December 2021 WNY Family 37

WHATS GOING ON IN NY SCHOOLS continued... II without hearing firsthand accounts of Japanese Americans who were interned in concentration camps by their own government? We must tell the stories of all those who have contributed to the development of this country and all those who continue to make it the diverse and beautiful tapestry it is today: those who are indigenous to the land; those who were taken from their African homes and brought to America’s shores in chains; those who journeyed here as part of the great European migration of the 19th and 20th centuries; those who traveled from Asia and India, the Caribbean, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Central and South America – and those who today seek refuge from poverty, violence, and tyranny. As Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Isabel Wilkerson instructs, understanding another’s perspective does not happen easily; it requires hard work, particularly on the part of those in the “dominant caste.” Ms. Wilkerson writes: “Radical empathy, on the other hand, means putting in the work to educate oneself and to listen with a humble heart to understand another’s experience from their perspective, not as we imagine

we would feel. Radical empathy is not about you and what you think you would do in a situation you have never been in and perhaps never will. It is the kindred connection from a place of deep knowing that opens your spirit to the pain of another as they perceive it.” The nation’s founders laid the groundwork that established America as a democratic republic. The founding ideals are democracy, rights, liberty, opportunity, and equality. However, our history courses often fail to underscore our nation’s long, often turbulent struggle between the ideals of freedom and equality and, more recently, voting rights. All students deserve to learn about America’s entire, unvarnished history – even when that complete story casts an unflattering light on historical figures who have long been revered. Schools must create opportunities for all students to learn from multiple perspectives – perspectives that are just as important and valid as the narrow point of view from which history and other content areas have traditionally been taught. We must always be vigilant to guard against the danger of a single story.

IMPACT OF SYSTEMIC RACISM ON NEW YORK’S STUDENTS Martin Luther King, Jr. famously reminded us that “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” Over time, we have made substantial progress towards fulfilling America’s creed, which declares that all people are created equal. In 2008, we elected the first African American president; in 2020, we elected the first African American and South Asian American woman vice president. Yet, despite these and other historic milestones, true equality of opportunity is not available to many Americans, in no small part because we have not yet found a way to provide all students with an education that prepares them for success in school and in life. The statistics are as frightening as they are familiar: • African American and Latinx students have proficiency rates that range from 16 to 23 percentage points lower than their white peers on New York State’s English language arts and math assessments. • While 91 percent of the State’s white students graduate from high school on time, only 78 percent of African American and 77 percent of Latinx students do so. • A CDC report found mortality rates associated with COVID-19 among American Indian and Alaska Natives to be 1.8 times greater than among non-Hispanic whites while cases among American Indian and Alaska Native persons was 3.5 times greater than among White persons. • The most underrepresented group receiving in-person instruction in New York City is Asian American students, making up just under 12 percent of students in-person while they represent 18 percent of students overall. The consequences of these disparities are devastating. For example: • In 2019, 40 percent of white Americans held a bachelor’s degree, while only 26 percent of African Americans and 19 percent of Hispanic Americans did so, as well. • While approximately eight percent of white Americans live in poverty, 18 percent of Latinx and 21 percent of African Americans do.

38 WNY Family December 2021

• Perhaps most troubling, “in 2018 African Americans represented 33 percent of the sentenced prison population, nearly triple their 12 percent share of the U.S. adult population. Whites accounted for 64 percent of adults but 30 percent of prisoners. And while Hispanics represented 16 percent of the adult population, they accounted for 23 percent of inmates.” There are individuals behind each of these data points. Some of them were provided with the educational opportunities and supports they needed to thrive in school; many were not. The data are a stark reminder of the difficult work that remains; they can and should be used to expose the inequities that persist throughout the system. The Department, and the schools and districts it oversees, must use data to establish clear expectations for students and their families. They must set goals and targets that are connected to academic attainment and growth. The work we do must always focus on outcomes – and the outcome that matters most in our education system is student learning.

However, merely reporting the numbers can cause us to focus on the symptoms of structural, institutional, and systemic inequities, losing sight of what lies beneath the surface, at the deeper policy level. For example, discussions of New York’s “achievement gap” can be misinterpreted if we fail to account for the lack of student opportunities to learn. As New York’s education policymakers, it is our responsibility to go deeper than the numbers might initially reveal; we must also examine and address the root causes of the persistent disparities that impact student and life outcomes. We know that students who attend under-resourced schools do not achieve at the same level as students who attend fully resourced schools. We must stop repeating the same actions that have produced these results.

DIVERSITY, EQUITY & INCLUSION The Board of Regents and the New York State Education Department have come to understand that the results we seek for all our children can never be fully achieved unless we re-focus every facet of our work through an equity and

inclusion lens (see also New York State’s Every Student Succeeds Act Plan). This understanding has created an urgency around promoting equitable opportunities that help all children thrive. New York State understands that the responsibility of education is not only to prevent the exclusion of historically silenced, erased, and disenfranchised groups, but also to assist in the promotion and perpetuation of cultures, languages and ways of knowing that have been devalued, suppressed, and imperiled by years of educational, social, political, economic neglect and other forms of oppression.

DEFINITIONS The act of defining is often the direct attempt to make something definite, distinct, or clear. Our purpose is not to restrict, but to provide clarity to the concepts of diversity, equity, and inclusion. These definitions are not intended to be exhaustive. Rather, they are meant to be foundational. The definitions listed below can be credited to the University of California, Berkeley Center for Equity, Inclusion, and Diversity and the Univercontinued on page 40

Educational insight

aurora Waldorf school Where children want to go to school!

Aurora Waldorf School (AWS) is a welcoming learning community for students in Pre-K through 8th grade with a focus on relationship-based education. Situated on a 13-acre campus bordering a creek and an old-growth forest, we extend lessons into the outdoors, translating joy-filled learning into wonder and appreciation for the natural world. At AWS, we believe: ■ Childhood is to be honored and preserved ■ Learning is not to be rushed ■ School can be a joyful place ■ Every child deserves to be outside every day ■ The arts are essential to our humanity ■ Education is more than just the exchange of facts and information The classroom experience includes daily movement, music, outdoor play, and artistic subjects interwo-

ven with traditional academics. Handson lessons pique curiosity and enliven the learning experience, empowering students to immerse themselves in the subjects before them. Based on the principles of Waldorf Education first developed in the early 20th century, the developmentally appropriate curriculum is consciously adapted for today’s students, guided by a caring, dedicated community of teachers. Graduates of Aurora Waldorf School go on to lead their high school and college classes, build dynamic careers

that improve the world, and travel the globe in a quest for experiential learning that never ends. Drawing from a variety of WNY communities, the school promotes ethnic, cultural, and economic diversity. Schedule a tour and discover how your child could benefit from the gifts of a Waldorf education. Contact us at (716) 655-2029 or email admissions@auroraws.org.

525 West Falls Rd. West Falls, NY 14170

716-655-2029 www.aurorawaldorfschool.org Paid Advertisement December 2021 WNY Family 39

NYSED’s stated mission is “to raise the knowledge, skill, and opportunity of all the people in New York.” In most states, the Education Department deals only with P-12 education. But in New York, we have a comprehensive system – USNY– to help us achieve this ambitious mission.

THE ROLE OF SCHOOL DISTRICTS

WHATS GOING ON IN NY SCHOOLS continued... sity of Houston’s Center for Diversity and Inclusion. Diversity: Includes but is not limited to race, color, ethnicity, nationality, religion, socioeconomic status, veteran status, education, marital status, language, age, gender, gender expression, gender identity, sexual orientation, mental or physical ability, genetic information, and learning styles. When thinking about diversity, it is important to note that the terminology has broadened over time. For example, ten years ago, diversity was synonymous with racial and ethnic minorities. Today, people we once referred to as “minorities” are now considered part of the global majority. Also, aspects such as socioeconomic status, gender identity, sexual orientation, and disability may be considered when referring to diverse populations. With this broadened definition, inclusivity of someone’s varied identities are considered. Equity: The guarantee of fair treatment, access, opportunity, and advancement for all while striving to identify and eliminate barriers that have prevented the full participation of all groups. The principle of equity acknowledges that there are historically under-served and under-represented populations and that fairness regarding these unbalanced conditions is needed to assist equality in the provision of effective opportunities to all groups. At its core, equity requires that we create the opportunity for all students to succeed and thrive in school no matter who they are, where they live, where they 40 WNY Family December 2021

go to school, or where they come from. Inclusion: Authentically bringing traditionally excluded individuals and/or groups into processes, activities, and decision/policy making in a way that shares power and ensures equal access to opportunities and resources. Through this Framework, the Board of Regents asserts its expectation that all school districts will develop policies that advance diversity, equity, and inclusion – and that they will implement such policies with fidelity and urgency.

ROLE OF THE BOARD OF REGENTS and NYS EDUCATION DEPARTMENT

The benefits that derive from creating diverse, equitable, and inclusive environments are certainly not limited to the school setting. It is difficult to imagine any institution that would not benefit from greater diversity, equity, and inclusiveness – and that includes the New York State Education Department. The Department has, of course, always adhered strictly to all laws and State policies regarding fairness in the workplace. But we must do more, for the good of the Department and its employees and as a model for schools to emulate. We must lead by example. The Board of Regents will establish a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Workgroup of the Board of Regents. The Workgroup will be representative of SED and the University of the State of New York (USNY) and will provide policy direction and recommendations to the full board on matters related to diversity, equity, and inclusion within SED and USNY.

Districts have a critical role in elevating the issues of diversity, equity and inclusion; setting policies; establishing data targets; reviewing and modifying their curricula; and more. (It is important to remember that in New York State, curricula are adopted locally; they are not mandated by the State.) We recognize that much of this work is already happening in districts across the State. District and school leaders, teachers, staff, students, and parents are working to create school communities that are more diverse, more equitable, and more inclusive than ever before. Many of New York’s education stakeholders and their organizations have elevated this issue to the very top of their agendas. Their efforts must be recognized and applauded. At the same time, however, some districts have not yet made diversity, equity, and inclusion a priority in their schools. Others may simply be looking for the State to provide the guidance and tools they need to do so. Suggested Elements of a District’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Policy This must be a comprehensive approach, taking into account the entirety of the schooling process, including: • Governance: Establishing a district Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Committee representative of all stakeholders, including students. • Teaching and learning: Addressing the need for inclusive and culturally responsive teaching and learning, including but not limited to:  curricula in all content areas;  books and instructional materials;  pedagogical practices and professional development;  classroom grouping policies and practices;  student support systems for all de-

velopmental pathways;  full and equitable opportunities to learn for all students; and  multiple assessment measures. As part of this work, districts may consider: • Specifically acknowledging the role that racism and bigotry have played, and continue to play, in the American story. • Adopting a Culturally Responsive Sustaining (CR-S) Framework that specifically embeds the ideals of diversity, equity, and inclusion by creating student-centered learning environments that affirm cultural identities; fosters positive academic outcomes; develops students’ abilities to connect across lines of difference; elevates historically marginalized voices; empowers students as agents of social change; and contributes to individual student engagement, learning, growth, and achievement through the cultivation of critical thinking. NYSED’s own CR-S framework is grounded in four principles: 1. Welcoming and Affirming Environment 2. High Expectations and Rigorous Instruction 3. Inclusive Curriculum and Assessment 4. Ongoing Professional Learning • Ensuring coherent opportunities for students to actively participate in experiences that prepare them for a lifetime

of civic engagement and social justice activism, including, for example, completing capstone projects. The materials developed by NYSED’s Civic Readiness Task Force provide a helpful foundation for this work. • Family and community engagement: Ensuring family and community engagement practices are based on mutual trust, confidence and respect. • Workforce Diversity: Practices and policies for the recruitment and retention of a diverse workforce in all areas and levels. A recent report released by the Albert Shanker Institute goes so far as to call teacher diversity a civil right for students. This report argues that exposing students to a diverse range of teachers and school leaders reduces stereotypes and prepares students for an increasingly global society. A 2019 NYSED report is a helpful resource on this topic as well. • Diverse schools and learning opportunities: Take creative steps to enhance the level of socioeconomic and racial diversity within district schools (even if the district’s student population is relatively homogeneous). Ensure

MOUNT ST. MARY ACADEMY 3756 Delaware Avenue, Kenmore, NY 14217 716-877-1358 • www.msmacademy.org Mount St. Mary Academy, founded by the Sisters of St. Mary of Namur, is a Catholic, private, college preparatory school for young women. By recognizing each student’s strengths and potential for growth, MSM enables young women to develop the skills required to be successful college students and professionals.

PARENT NETWORK OF WNY 1021 Broadway Street, Buffalo, NY 14212 716-332-4170 (English) • 716-449-6394 (Español) www.parentnetworkwny.org Parent Network supports families to empower individuals with disabilities to reach their full potential. We provide 1-on-1 support for disabilities and special education. We understand the needs for families for every milestone, from early childhood to school age development.

coursework, programs, and activities are accessible to all students, regardless of their disability status, native language, income level, or any other basis. A 2019 compilation of data and research by The Century Foundation details some of the ways that racial and socioeconomic integration benefits students and the wider community, including: Academic and Cognitive Benefits On average, students in socioeconomically and racially diverse schools – regardless of a student’s own economic status – have stronger academic outcomes than students in schools with concentrated poverty.

continued on page 42

ROOTS OF THE FUTURE MONTESSORI 8970 Main Street, Clarence, NY 14031 716-545-8048 • www.rootsofthefuture.com Providing a quality Montessori education that understands and nurtures children’s natural curiosity. Our certified Nature Explore Classroom is an ideal environment designed to inspire children to connect with the wonders of nature while encouraging their interests. Ages 2.9 - 6. Call for a tour today.

THE CHILDREN’S LEAGUE 393 North Street, Springville, NY 14141 716-592-9331 • http://tclny.org A “child & family friendly” center and homebased program providing education and therapy services for developmentally disabled children birth – 8 years old. Integrated Preschool Classes in Collaboration with Head Start. Specialized services for Autism Spectrum Disorders. EI and CPSE evaluations also available. December 2021 WNY Family 41

WHATS GOING ON IN NY SCHOOLS continued... Civic and Social-Emotional Benefits Racially and socioeconomically diverse schools offer students important social-emotional benefits by exposing them to peers of different backgrounds. The increased tolerance and cross-cultural dialogue that result from these interactions is beneficial for civil society. Economic Benefits Providing more students with integrated school environments is a costeffective strategy for boosting student achievement and preparing students for work in a diverse global economy. • Student supports, discipline, and wellness: Districts should consider: • Programs and practices that enhance all students’ self-identity, self-confidence and self-esteem. • Implementing non-discriminatory discipline policies and practices. • Focusing on the well-being of the “whole child” by always considering and addressing the full range of student developmental pathways.

CONCLUSION

We are at an inflection point in the nation’s history. With great urgency, we must move beyond the rhetoric of a commitment to educational equity and use this moment of societal unrest to reset and reimagine our system of education. We are morally obligated to seize this moment and redefine what is possible for all of New York’s students. New York’s collective response requires a recommitment to public education and a significant investment in teaching and learning to ensure that every neighborhood school is a place we would want our own children to attend. The approach we take must always include perspectives that support and build the self-esteem and identity of all children, especially those who have been historically marginalized in school and in society. We must create an ecosystem of success built upon a foundation of diversity, equity, inclusion, access, opportunity, innovation, trust, respect, caring, relationship-building, and so much more.

This is a call to action. Together, we will interrupt the practices that for too long have harmed New York’s vulnerable, marginalized students. Together, we will create environments for learning that reduce the pernicious predictability of who will succeed and who will fail. Together, we will lift up and support all of New York’s students.

The New York State Board of Regents Framework on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in New York’s Schools: A Call to Action (Draft – April 2021) (Found at https://www.regents.nysed. gov/meeting-archives-index; see page 25 of the summary of the April meeting) Michele Miller is a former teacher in the Buffalo Public Schools, as well as the founder, editor, and publisher of Western New York Family.

niagara chartEr school

Educational insight

A Choice for Parents, a Better Opportunity for Children

Niagara Charter School is a FREE public school with an extended school day. It is the only charter school located in Niagara County. Niagara Charter School offers an engaging curriculum and a positive school environment that supports all students. We serve students in grades K-6 and provide them with the education and skills needed to succeed in the 21st century. Niagara Charter School strives to prepare our students with success now and for the future! Niagara Charter School is

42 WNY Family December 2021

an EL Education school. This model challenges students to think critically and take active roles in their classrooms and communities, resulting in higher achievement and greater engagement in school. Our approach to curriculum makes standards come alive for students by connecting learning to real-world issues and needs. Academically rigorous learning expeditions inspire students to think and work as professionals do. Our classrooms are alive with

discovery, inquiry, critical thinking, problem-solving, and collaboration. Learning is enhanced with multiple opportunities for fieldwork and work with local experts. Applications are available online at: www.niagaracharterschool.org or you can call us for more information. Apply before April 1, 2022 to be included in the lottery for the 20222023 school year. English-language learners and students with disabilities are encouraged to apply!

2077 Lockport Road Niagara Falls, NY 14304

(716) 297-4520 www.NiagaraCharterSchool.org Paid Advertisement

GAIN CONFIDENCE IN THE CLASSROOM continued... I don’t understand how you want me to change the action words.” Vague questions like “How do I do this?” or statements like “I don’t get it.” leave the teacher wondering where to begin. Say to your child, “What, exactly do you need? And then prompt until the question is clear.

Social Skills: Kindness and Being Aware of Others’ Needs Not every child will earn straight A’s. Yes, there are average students in every classroom. And that’s okay if the child is working to his or her potential. But some children seem more adept at building relationships and maintaining friendships than others. This is the child who notices when a friend is sad or needs to borrow a pencil. This is the child who shares with others and takes turns. He plays fair. She notices when a friend needs encouragement. Don’t underestimate the value of social skills when it comes to success in the classroom. Your child may not

solve every math problem correctly, but if he is a good friend and a kind, caring person, you’ve got a lot to be proud of and the classroom is enriched. Help your child notice when others seem sad. Guide them to ways to help or share or show they care. Practice: “Did you notice that Katie seemed sad today? I wonder if we could do something to cheer her up?” Or, “I like the way you shared your LEGOs with your friends. Being a good friend is really important in our family.” Success in the classroom is more than achieving high marks on assignments. Just as in all of life, being a responsible, kind, and caring person is just as important as being the best at what we do. Give your kids a boost by teaching them to master good classroom skills and watch them soar. Jan Pierce, M.Ed., is a retired teacher and the author of Homegrown Readers and Homegrown Family Fun. Find Jan at www.janpierce.net.

Christ-Centered Education for 170 Years PreK 3 & 4, K – 8th Grade NLSA Accredited

Safe & Loving Environment Faith-Based, NYS Curriculum Before & After School Child Care Technology Integration Art, Music, Phys. Ed., Spanish Community Mission Projects 146 Reserve Rd | West Seneca, NY

716-674-5353

www.ThinkTrinityChristian.com

December 2021 WNY Family 43

44 WNY Family December 2021

FAMILY TRAVEL continued...

as bellissima is Italian for “beautiful” and capra is for “goat.” When leaving the barbershop, Capra would have gone over the steel truss bridge to get to the main part of town. On the bridge is a plaque honoring Seneca Falls resident and then recent immigrant Antonio Varacalli, who had leaped into the icy waters of the canal in April 1917 to rescue a girl who had just attempted suicide by jumping off the bridge. Varacalli saved her but he was overcome by fatigue from the rescue and drowned. Varacalli’s “guardian angel” sacrifice would have certainly captured Capra’s attention. Here on the bridge in Seneca Falls was a real story quite similar to the opening incident in his upcoming movie. Either by design or extraordinary coincidence, when Frank Capra created Bedford Falls, he replicated Seneca Falls. Activities during the festival include a Saturday parade, a 5 K run, special dinners and breakfasts, and multiple daily cast member autograph signings. “The Real Bedford Falls: It’s a Wonderful Life,” a documentary on the history of the connections between Seneca Falls and Bedford Falls, will be shown, as well as special screenings of the celebrated 75-year-old movie. There will also be It’s a Wonderful Life participation movie with singing, dancing, screaming. and laughing. On Sunday there will be three 90-minute train trips on the Bedford Falls Express from Academy Square, continued on page 46 December 2021 WNY Family 45

FAMILY TRAVEL continued... across Cayuga Lake to the Cayuga Train Station and returning to Academy Square. The festival will end with the “Bells of the Real Bedford Falls.” The bells will ring simultaneously from the town’s churches. A donation will allow residents and visitors to have the bells rung in recognition of an angel in their own lives.

Toronto’s Holiday Events

Toronto already has rolled out an array of holiday markets, lights, entertainment —even a castle decked out for the holidays — that will be welcoming visitors throughout the month and beyond into the new year. Christmas markets have long been a European tradition with the oldest dating back to the 15th century in Germany. Toronto’s version celebrated its tenth anniversary in 2019 and is back this year after a year’s hiatus. It is again in one of the city’s oldest areas — the downtown Distillery District — and has been rebranded as The Distillery Winter Village. The location helps give it a bit of a European feel since the European markets are all in old sections of cities and towns. Traditions have been preserved, including the 50-foot silver fir Christmas tree, thousands of lights, shopping, food, and entertainment. There is a lineup of live entertainment featuring street performers and carolers to get the whole family in the holiday spirit. The event also features eight curated vendor cabins and 12 food vendor cabins. It is the perfect spot to shop for that one-of-a-kind gift for people on your gift list who are hard to shop for. There is complimentary gift wrapping available until December 23rd. The Polar Winter Festival at the Bandshell Park along the waterfront will transport visitors to an enchanting winter wonderland. This walk-through experience continues through December 26th. The Bandshell Park has been transformed. From giant teddy bears at Santa’s Toy Shop to tunnels of starry lights at the Polar Ice Tunnel, there are many magical sights and sounds. The stage is transformed into Santa’s living room filled with holiday decorations. Hop on the Christmas train ride, the classic carousel featuring beautiful prancing horses, or swing into the holidays with the ship excursion. The outdoor seating area welcomes visitors with roaring fire pits and holiday cocktails and eats such as BeaverTails, the Mustache Burger, and more. For nearly 130 years, the Nutcracker has been synonymous with holiday enchantment for families around the world. Toronto is offering another version called The Immersive Nutcracker, A Winter Miracle, presented by the producers of the North American hit Immersive Van Gogh experience that attracted crowds this fall in Buffalo. The world premiere production offers immersive projections, special effects, a life-sized Nutcracker, magical photo ops and more. It is an interactive 30-minute immersive performance 46 WNY Family December 2021

followed by magical activations in the lobby, accessible to all, as state-of-theart technology places the audience right in the middle of the action. The experience begins with a starry sky, a breathtaking snowstorm and a giant fir tree, that falls to earth and reappears as the Christmas tree of every child’s dreams. In a wondrous household filled with toys, a starry-eyed young girl tries to take it all in and a magical nutcracker comes to life. Casa Loma, Toronto’s majestic castle, goes all out for the Christmas holiday season. Completed in 1914, it took 300 men nearly three years to complete this 98-room edifice and offers breathtaking views of the city skyline. It is covered with lights inside and out, multiple designer Christmas trees, unique displays, entertainment and activities for the entire family.

Niagara Falls, Ontario Winter Festival of Lights

Closer to home in Niagara Falls, Ontario, the 39th annual Ontario Power Generation Winter Festival of Lights, Canada’s largest free outdoor light festival, will be hosting a line-up of familyfriendly indoor entertainment for the festival. Families walking along the Festival Route can warm up and enjoy live entertainment at the Hilton Niagara Falls

Fallsview Hotel & Suites every Friday and Saturday night and daily throughout the holidays. From magicians and musicians to puppet ventriloquists and acrobats, the indoor entertainment kicked off last month with Dan the Music Man. Santa will be welcoming children. There will be three million lights and more than 75 spectacular displays. Travel Tip of the Month: Seneca Falls is an easy two-hour drive from Buffalo. Local hotels will be at a premium especially for the weekend. Reservations are a must. There will be shuttles from the Hampton Inn, the Quality Inn and Microtel to downtown Seneca Falls, five minutes away. The hotels provide a good solution for festival parking. Shuttles run frequently throughout the day. Some indoor activities are limited to fully vaccinated visitors. For information visit: therealbedfordfalls.com and wonderfullifemuseum.com or call 315-568-5838. Toronto is open to visitors with masking and vaccine requirements in some indoor venues. At press time the U.S. dollar was worth about $1.24 Canadian so there are values across the border. For information, visit www.destinationtoronto.com or call 800-499-2514 or 416203-2500. Niagara Falls, Ontario For information on the Festival of Lights, visit www. WFOL.com.

Entering Canada Americans have been able to drive across the Canadian border since August 8. Adults and children 12 and older must be fully vaccinated. Everyone age five and older must have a PCR test within 72 hours of crossing the border. The tests are free in the Buffalo area and can be booked online. I have taken drive through tests at Walgreens and CVS. I received the Walgreens results in less than two hours and the CVS test results in about 24 hours. The tests are self-administered and take less than a minute. All the information needs to be downloaded on the ArriveCAN app or online at ArriveCAN. This information is correct at press time but there is pressure from political leaders on both sides of the border for Canada to drop the testing requirements so check with the border website at cbsa-asfc-gc.ca. There are no testing requirements for returning to the U.S. Of course, the normal pre pandemic identification is needed for entering Canada that includes a passport, or enhanced driver’s license, or NEXUS card and birth certificates for children. Deborah Williams is a veteran travel writer who lives in Holland, NY. Her work has appeared in national and international publications. She is the recipient of the Society of American Travel Writers’ Lowell Thomas Gold Travel Writing Award. December 2021 WNY Family 47

subscription model gives players an additional bonus amount of Robux as compared to buying them individually. For example, $4.99 will purchase 400 Robux through a gift card, while the monthly subscription gives you 440 Robux for the same price.

Parental Concerns

The Great Roblox Outage of 2021

s I am RAISING DIGITAL KIDS blox universe, most writof which have been ing this made by various Ro— by Mike Daugherty column, the Roblox blox players themservers have been down for about two selves. Compared to a traditional gamdays. Why do I know this? I know this ing console, the graphics and concepts because all three of my children are exfor these games are very basic. They plaining their discontentment almost have a block-based feel to them, similar hourly. It’s painful but I’m not alone. to Minecraft or LEGO bricks. Popular My social media feeds are sprinkled games include Adopt Me (you collect with parents who are experiencing simivarious rare pets), Bee Swarm Simulalar Roblox complaints in their homes. tor (you grow and maintain your swarm The rumor was that a partnership with of bees), and Jailbreak (you escape from Chipotle involving free burritos for all different forms of jail). players led to the system being overRoblox is massively popular among loaded, resulting in a catastrophic crash. kids ages 5-12, but it is not really about I was aware that Roblox is popular, but the catalog of games. Instead, the poputhe amount of buzz generated by the larity comes from the community of outage opened my eyes to how popular players and the digital socialization with it is. This month we will take a deeper that community. The platform itself is dive into Roblox and touch on some key free to play. Roblox is compatible with points for parents with this incredibly Xbox, Playstation, Switch, PC, smartonline venue. phones, and tablets. Roblox provides

What exactly is Roblox?

Parents need to understand that Roblox is a platform, like Xbox or Playstation, instead of an actual game. Kids will say, “I’m playing Roblox.” It’s the equivalent of saying, “I’m playing Nintendo.” According to Backlink, a social media consulting firm, there are over 43 million active daily players on the platform. The platform received a massive expansion during the pandemic, surging by almost 40% growth while many states had implemented a lockdown. Similar in size to players, there are over 40 million games inside of the Ro48 WNY Family December 2021

a fun place for kids to hang out, play games, and chat with other players from all over the world.

How much does Roblox cost? Players can purchase Robux with real money via the Roblox website or through a gift card. Robux is the ingame currency used to redeem a variety of items. Those in game items include virtual upgrades for your avatar, a rare creature or pet, and special character abilities. The site also offers a subscription based service that delivers Robux to a player’s account every month. The

Roblox is a relatively safe space for children. If you Google “parental concerns with Roblox,” you will find various stories about incidents that have happened related to the game. With 43 million players, there are bound to be some unwanted interactions. However, the majority of kids and parents report a positive experience with the game. Let’s look at the aspects of Roblox that parents should know. ● Violence - Many user-created games include weapons such as guns, rocket launchers, or knives. There are also games with horror or creepy themes; however, the block style graphics make for limited violence for young eyes. ● Sexualized Content - Any platform with user-created content carries an uncertainty of what could be allowed into the game. There are times in the chat when players may say something inappropriate. I’ve read about a few instances where inappropriate sounds have been heard as well. In my experience, Roblox does not have much in the way of sexualized content. Roblox does an excellent job at taking children’s safety seriously and removing reported content quickly. The site recently updated its terms to include removing anything depicting romance in the game. Civility and responsible use is essential to keep children safe. ● Language - The concern for parents in Roblox is chatting. Players can speak in a common chat for all to see and can also message players directly. Some games, like Meep City, include chat rooms for those players in the room. Adults should turn on some parental controls to prevent players from using or seeing profanity (see below). It also prevents players from providing any personal information.

● Bullying - Bullying inside the Roblox environment is rare. If a group of players is bothering someone, that player can choose a different game to play or block the players on chat. However, I have read stories of bullying happening in the real world and children giving those bullies in-game items or currency as a way to stop the behavior. ● Spending Money - As mentioned above, Roblox encourages players to purchase in-game currency called Robux to receive various upgrades. Parents should consider setting spending limits, password protecting transactions, or turning off in-game transactions altogether to prevent players from accidentally spending real world money. Guardians can find all of these settings in the parental controls portion of Roblox.

players under 12. Parents should check to ensure these settings are correctly set, especially for younger players. 1. Log into their account. 2. Go to Account Settings (click on the gear icon) 3. Select Privacy. 4. Review the options under Contact Settings and Other Settings. Select No one or Friends or enable Account Restrictions (players age 13 and older have additional options) Aside from the content settings, ask them questions about the games they are

Next Steps Roblox automatically sets more restricted controls for

playing. Questions like “Who are you playing with?,” “What’s your favorite game here? Why?” and “Can you tell me more about that?” will encourage your children to share their experiences. In addition, parents should have an ongoing conversation with their kids about talking with strangers online. The best thing parents can do to keep their children safe online is to stay engaged with what their kids are doing on these apps, games, and websites. Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google Innovator, and possible Starbucks addict. He is a certified educational technology leader who has served in a variety of roles through his twenty-year career in public education. Currently, Mike is the Director of Technology for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School district in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning.

Tips to Gift Your Child With Tech Safely This Holiday Season (StatePoint) Are you wondering if this is the right year to gift your child a smartphone for the holidays? While age may seem important, maturity levels play a big role in letting you know if your child is ready to handle the responsibility of owning a connected device. It’s always important to weigh the pros and cons. The benefits of a smartphone and Internet access are that they offer a wealth of educational opportunities for students. Children are early adopters of the latest technology and in many cases, can absorb and digest information easier and much faster than adults. The downside is that children have access to everything on the Internet, including potentially inappropriate content. The good news is that there are many safety and monitoring apps and tools available, some at low or no cost to you. For example, T-Mobile offers Family Mode, an app that allows the primary account holder to monitor a child’s internet access when the app is downloaded on the device. T-Mobile also offers Family Al-

lowances, an app that for a small monthly fee, allows you to assign allowances for the number of minutes, texts, downloaded content and money spent on downloadable apps. It also allows you to block your child’s use of their devices during certain times of the day, such as school, during homework, dinner time or at night. Google Family Link is another option that is free of cost and provides you with the ability to monitor your child’s web activity, limit daily phone access, and approve or decline downloadable app purchases. You can also check with your internet provider or wireless smartphone provider to see what child safety features are available with your current plan. If your child isn’t quite ready for a phone, but you still want to have the ability to monitor and communicate with them,

a connected smartwatch may be the next best option. T-Mobile recently launched SyncUP KIDS Watch, which features real-time location tracking, talk and text with approved contacts only, virtual boundary alerts, silent mode to use during school, and a help button that alerts pre-set emergency contacts when pushed. It has safety feature that parents want, but is also fun for kids, with a camera to snap and record moments, plus interactive games. To learn more, visit t-mobile.com. Having safety tools and features available at the swipe of your fingertips will put your mind at ease and help create healthy habits when your child navigates the digital world, with or without you around. PHOTO SOURCE: (c) YakobchukOlena / iStock via Getty Images Plus December 2021 WNY Family 49

for any injury when she noticed all the blood. Within seconds we were out the door and on our way to urgent care. During the twelve-minute drive there, I was hoping there wouldn’t be a long wait. I figured it was a Sunday night and the Bills game was just wrapping up, so how busy could it be. But when we arrived it was much busier than I anticipated.

Violet’s First (and hopefully last) Stitches

gh! Just when you think you’re being the safest parent you could possibly be, you find yourself driving to the pediatric urgent care on a Sunday night dressed in pajamas. When Violet first started crawling and especially standing up, I went crazy baby proofing anything that had a sharp corner, knowing that when she started to stand and eventually tried to walk, she would be falling more than standing. I even rearranged the furniture around our living room so when she did fall, she wouldn’t hit her head on anything too hard or sharp. But of all the preventive measures I took to ensure her safety, the one thing I didn’t take into consideration was a toy that was designed to prevent injury. For Violet’s first birthday we bought her one of those toys you can usually find in your doctor’s office. It’s the one that has the wooden beads zig-zagging through a maze of multicolored metal pipes from one side to the other. And this model has all four top corners shaved down to a flattened surface, so if your child slips and hits their head on the corner, it won’t cut them. Well, not our child. Like any new toy Violet gets, she instantly became obsessed with this one. 50 WNY Family December 2021

She would spend a good amount of time exploring all the different parts that she could get into; pushing beads around, opening the little doors on the sides to reveal different farm animals and sometimes just shaking the whole thing side to side. Well, one night, the three of us were sitting on the living room floor, just inches away from each other and only inches away from the toy, when Violet, who was still very much learning to walk, stood up and creeped her way over to the wooden activity block. When she stood up, we thought nothing of it as she had done this dozens of times before. But this time when she walked over, one of her books that we read to her every night was laying directly in front of the activity block, right in her path, leaving it impossible to not step on. When she stepped on the book, I’m assuming with much excitement and gusto, she slipped and fell headfirst into the wooden block. Her head hit the shaved corner with such force that it split her forehead right open. It all happened so fast. Andrea immediately jumped up and grabbed Violet, holding her close as she let out a gut-wrenching cry that I hope I never hear again. After a couple of seconds, she looked at her head to check

A few minutes after we checked in, we were brought to a room where a nurse placed a numbing agent and bandage over the cut to prep it for stitches. From there we waited, doing our best to entertain Violet who was both tired and confused, as it was well past her bedtime. After about an hour, we were given a room in the back where we were greeted by a wonderful doctor and a nurse. They wrapped her up in what looked like a blue straight jacket for babies and prepped her for stitches. Violet seemed to be more upset about being straight-jacketed for her protection more than the cut itself. I did our best to keep her calm while the doctor graciously put three stitches into her tiny forehead. The whole procedure took about five minutes and Violet took it like a champion. By the time we walked out the door, we were there for a total of two hours. Exhausted and emotionally drained, we drove home. The hardest part of the whole ordeal would be changing the ridiculously adhesive bandages twice a day for the next six days, causing Violet to outburst. But it’s nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a little game of peek-a-boo. We had the stitches removed six days after she fell and as for the toy that did the damage, it has since been retired to the corner of the basement. Richard De Fino, a freelance writer by night, first became a father at age 34. After losing his first-born son Louis, at birth, he was determined to keep his memory alive the best way he knew how; through words. Now, with the birth of his daughter Violet, he plans on continuing to share his fatherhood journey each month with WNY Family readers.

Family Movie Options: In Theaters and Streaming Online Clifford the Big Red Dog

In Theaters

Rating PG

Overall B

Violence B+

Sex A

Profanity B+

Alcohol/Drugs A

Lonely Emily Elizabeth has no idea that the red rescue puppy she has just brought home is going to grow to gargantuan size overnight. This puts them in the crosshairs of their building superintendent and a greedy biotech millionaire. Keeping Clifford safe turns into an adventure that drives this passably enjoyable, predictable kids’ movie. It features subpar acting, a few laughs, and some heartfelt moments. Despite its paint-by-numbers vibe, the story manages to deliver a surprising amount of warmth. Photo

©Paramount

Ron’s Gone Wrong

In Theaters

Rating PG

Overall B+

Violence B-

Sex A

Profanity A-

Alcohol/Drugs B

B*bots have taken the world by storm and now every kid wants a digital BFF that absorbs their likes and dislikes, provides 24/7 entertainment, and searches social networks for new friends. Barney is the only kid at middle school who doesn’t have one and he’s isolated – until he gets one for his birthday. But this B*bot is damaged and accommodating those differences is going to teach both of them a lot about friendship. Released by Disney, this production is too scary for young kids but offers high quality entertainment for the rest of the family. Photo © Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

The Claus Family

Netflix

Rating

Overall

Violence

Sex

Profanity

Alcohol/Drugs

TV-G

B-

A-

Jules hates Christmas. When his widowed mother moves the family to Belgium for a fresh start, Jules is shocked to learn that his grandfather is the real Santa Claus. Suffering from failing health, Santa needs help pulling off the big night but Jules isn’t sure he’s all in. This European film has high quality dubbing so it’s easily viewed by English speakers and it’s clean and full of good messages. Sadly this festive flick is also bland, poorly paced, and devoid of Christmas magic. Photo ©Netflix

Under Wraps

Disney+

Rating

Overall

Violence

Sex

Profanity

Alcohol/Drugs

TV-PG

B+

When Marshal and Gilbert’s neighbor starts acting oddly, they team up with the new girl, Amy, to investigate. In the process, they accidentally awaken a 4,000 year old mummy, who isn’t as terrifying as he looks. This Disney Channel film has the expected low production values, cheesy acting, and awkward dialogue. Thankfully, it also provides solid messages about friendship, facing fears, welcoming new experiences, and avoiding stereotypes. Photo ©Disney+ Detailed reviews available at www.parentpreviews.com December 2021 WNY Family 51

DEAR TEACHER

12. I read to both my young and older children.

– by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts

13. I encourage my older children to read and let them see me reading frequently.

Helping all parents make their children’s educational experience as successful as possible

14. I have read the school handbook and know what the school’s code of conduct and disciplinary policy is for each child’s school. 15. My children know I support their schools’ disciplinary policies.

Check-up on Your Participation in Your Children’s Education

arents: A new year is rapidly approaching; so many people choose to make resolutions at this time. Unfortunately, not too many follow through on the ways that they have chosen to improve their lives and their family’s life. Instead of giving you a possible list of resolutions that could help your children be more successful in school, we are giving you a checklist so you can see how well you are doing in being a strong participant in your children’s education. Simply answer “yes” or “no” to each checklist item to evaluate the areas where you are a “star” and those where you might improve. Then you can decide if you should make some resolutions that will increase your participation in your children’s education. 1. I provide my children with nutritious breakfasts and other meals on school days.

2. I make sure that they have the appropriate amount of sleep on school days. 3. I supervise the amount of time that my children can spend on electronic devices. 4. I ensure that my children have an excellent attendance record at school. 5. I check that my children are doing their homework assignments. 6. I have provided my children with a place to do their homework and the necessary supplies. 7. I talk with my children about the importance of getting a good education. 8. I attend my children’s school conferences. 9. I am aware of my children’s academic strengths and weaknesses. 10. I have an idea of what skills my children should have in major subject areas. 11. I understand the grading scales that are used by my children’s schools.

16. I read the newsletters that are sent from my children’s schools. 17. I know what extra services are provided by my children’s schools, such as counseling, speech therapy, and gifted programs. 18. I have attended PTA/PTO meetings. 19. I have attended the school programs in which my children participate from concerts to science fairs to sports events. 20. I volunteer at the school in some capacity.

Very Young Children Can Spell Question: Do kids begin to learn to spell even before they go to school? My three-year-old son is trying to write words. — Inquisitive Answer: Believe it or not, children as young as 3-years-old begin to attempt to write words as your son is doing. When anyone looks at their scribbles, they are completely incomprehensible. Still the kids are beginning to show that they understand that letters are being put together to form words. These young children, however, have no idea that letters represent the sounds of a language. However, in these preschool years, their spellings begin to look more and more like words even though the letters still do not represent sounds. It is not until children are around age 5 or 6 that they begin to have the knowledge that the letters in words represent the sounds of spoken words. This is early invented spelling where a child might produce the spelling “pl” for “plan.” At this point in spelling, they are not using the letters that represent all the sounds in a word. This will come later when they write something like “pln.”

52 WNY Family December 2021

Invented spelling will begin to more accurately represent correct spelling at this point. And parents and teachers will be able to get the gist of what children are writing. Even when children begin to be taught the actual spelling of words, there will still be some invented spelling words interspersed in their writing.

PICK OF THE LITERATURE continued... Santa in the City (Dial Books for Young Readers, New York, 2021, $17.99) written by Tiffany D. Jackson and illustrated by Reggie Brown. This book will assure everyone who lives in a city that the spirit of the season is alive and well in the streets, stores, apartments, and homes, and that Santa will never fail to deliver. Familiar scenes and concerns are explored as Deja travels around town experiencing the sights, sounds, and smells of the season.

How Much Project Help Is Too Much? Question: What is the approach that parents should take in helping their children with big school projects? What is too little, and what is too much? I’d like to know as Science Fair Projects are coming up soon. — Looking for Middle Ground Answer: You will find all the education and psychology experts are against helping children too much with projects. This can frustrate parents who see the end result of projects that appear to be done, if not done entirely, by parents. These projects may get A’s while those done by students may receive lower grades. And lower grades upset parents who are thinking that their children could be losing out in the race for college.

Older Readers Pomp, Snow & Cirqueumstance (Brown Books Kids, Dallas, 2021, $18.99) written by Niko Nickolaou and Neil Goldberg and illustrated by John Kelly. This is the imaginative, theatrical, and interactive story of three friends, Pomp, Snow, and Cirqueumstance, each with their own special talent to help celebrate the season, all with the best of intentions. However, they seem to have overwhelmed and over-celebrated until Santa helps them find a way that includes everyone! Find out more at https://pompsnowandcirqueumstance.com The Legend of the Christmas Witch (Viking, New York, 2021, $18.99) written by Dam Murphy and Aubrey Plaza and illustrated by Julia Iredale. Told from the perspective of a Raven, this mysterious holiday folktale-inspired adventure will take the reader through time and space as we learn the story behind the Christmas Witch and the quest for redemption and reunification of family. The end will leave all in contemplation…

Nevertheless, if you want your children to be prepared to handle future projects all on their own, your help should be limited to being a project consultant. And you should also support your children by listening to their trouble in completing a project. The experts say that helping too much limits children’s confidence in themselves as well as limiting their ability to handle future projects. What is acceptable and helpful for parents to do is teach their children organizational skills. This includes making a list of what is to be done, a materials list and a timeline for getting things done. And sometimes, they will need to teach a child to limit the scope of a project to a manageable one. Another important component of helping with a project is to help their children learn how to manage the stress that projects can generate. Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher. com and to learn more about helping their children succeed in school visit the dearteacher website.

Christmas Classic The Nutcracker (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, New York, 2021, $18.99) retold and illustrated by Jan Brett. There is no one more qualified to represent the classic story of the Nutcracker in illustration than this master children’s book artist. Her attention to detail, use of color, and surprise appearance by characters captures the magic and movement of this wonderful and time-honored Christmas tradition. Dr. Donna Phillips is an associate professor in the College of Education at Niagara University where her specialty is literacy and children’s literature. She lives on Grand Island, NY and is the mother of two adult children and grandmother of one. December 2021 WNY Family 53

Empower

Ability Inspire Advocate

Special Needs Potential Thri

Growth Strategies — by Sarah Lyons

Benefits of Pet Ownership for Kids with Special Needs

et ownership can bring joy and happiness to any home. For children with special needs, particularly for children with sensory processing disorder, autism, ADHD, and social or behavioral issues, adopting a domesticated pet can provide wonderful benefits. Here are some great reasons to consider adding a pet to your family.

Helps Grow Social Skills

Kids who spend time playing with a pet typically enjoy interacting with people more than kids who don’t own a pet. They also learn to develop skills such as interpreting nonverbal cues and trust. Owning a pet can also encourage empathy towards animals and humans alike.

Lower Stress

Having a furry friend to play with, pet, and cuddle can lower stress and elevate mood. Stroking a pet’s soft fur can have a calming effect on people. “When my daughter is crying, our cat will come running and snuggle up to her,” says Katlyn Purkapile, mom of three. “It has been amazing to see the change it has made with her. My daughter starts petting her and calms down quicker than 54 WNY Family December 2021

any other techniques we have tried. It’s a really special relationship.” Per a study done by Frontiers in Psychology, people who spend time with a pet on a regular basis have lower blood pressure, lower heart rate, and less stress. Patients that were visited by a service animal while in the hospital also reported less pain.

Helps Develop Life Skills

Kids who have the opportunity to care for a pet will also develop important life skills such as time management, responsibility, and understand the importance of schedule for feeding, walking, and cleaning their pet.

Stability

Kids who crave stability and routine will benefit from having a pet in their lives. Pets can provide a different type of stability that they may not get from peers or family members. “My 8 year old has ADHD. We recently got him a kitten and he sits still and is calm with her for long periods of time,” says Pricella Edwards. “I believe it helps him.”

Promotes Learning

Many parents have found that having their pet near them during virtual

learning or while doing homework helps the child stay calm and focused. “My 11 year old has anxiety and depression. For her birthday she received a guinea pig. Lilly, the guinea pig has been a game changer,” says Tiffany Nolan, mom of five. “Virtual schooling was especially difficult for her. Suggesting she snuggle Lilly will dramatically improve her mood and demeanor. For her (and for us) it has had a huge positive impact.” Pets are a great addition to any family but can be a huge help to kids with special needs. Before adopting a pet, consider what type of animal would best fit your lifestyle, space, and budget.

Important Things to Consider Before Adopting a Pet

 Cost - Pet ownership can be expensive. Before adopting an animal, research the cost of purchasing the animal, vet bills, food, and any other items needed. Depending on the type of animal the cost could go on for many years.  Space - It’s important to choose a pet that is a good fit for your home and yard size. If you are renting, check to make sure your property owner allows pets.  Care - Determine who will be responsible for your pet. Some special needs children may not be able to clean up after or manage some of their pet’s needs. Who will be responsi-

ble? Are you willing to commit to this for the lifespan of the pet?  Attention - What does your child’s schedule look like? Does your child have time to give the attention the pet deserves? Are you home enough to walk a dog? Do you travel often? Who would take care of the animal while you are at work, school, or on vacation?  Noise - Some kids may have sensitivity to loud noises. If this is the case, you may not want to adopt a dog that barks loudly. If your child is a light sleeper, you may not want to have a nocturnal animal’s cage in their room at night. With these things in mind, it will be easier to determine which animal would be the best fit for your family. “It’s important to do your research and get a pet that will work for your family.” says Becky Smith. “I was very careful about getting an older cat with a calm demeanor to best get along with my kids.” Ask your child for their input and let them help choose what type of pet they would like to join the family. Chances are your new pet will have a positive impact on everyone in your household. Sarah Lyons is a Kansas freelance writer who has been published in Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine KC Parent, Austin Family, Creative Child and over 160 other parenting publications.

COMING IN OUR APRIL 2022 ISSUE: - 17TH ANNUAL-

A Special Pull-Out Section

SPECIAL NEEDS

Does your business, agency or organization serve children and families with special needs in our community? We invite you to join us in educating our readership of 55,000 parents about the importance of your resources and services for our community through this award-winning section.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2022

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Helping Them Grow Up Healthy & Happy To Reach Their Full Potential December 2021 WNY Family 55

… And Charge Them Outside Their Bedroom

Don’t tempt your teens to turn on their phones or computers once they’re in bed. The best way to avoid that is to insist that they charge their devices anywhere in the house except their bedroom. “Consider having your teen leave their device in an area of the house that’s not their bedroom,” says registered nurse Mary Sweeney. “That’ll discourage them from reaching for it after they’ve shut off the lights.”

Reorganize Their Homework

nly about in the afternoon, enTWEENS & TEENS 8% of courage them to take teens get a short nap. “Sleeping — by Tanni Haas, Ph.D. the recommended 8-10 for more than 20 minhours of sleep a night, and that’s no small utes,” says child psychologist Dr. Daniel matter. Research shows that consistent Lewin, “can throw off their nighttime sleep deprivation can lead to obesity, sleep schedule.” high blood pressure, diabetes, increased Turn Of Electronics risk of catching the flu and the common Before Bedtime cold, and makes it difficult to focus and Cellphones and laptops also make do well in school. It doesn’t have to be it hard for teens to fall asleep at night. this way. There’s a lot that parents can The problem isn’t just that they’re texdo to help their teens get the sleep they ting with friends, posting on social meneed. Here’s what the experts suggest: dia, and playing videogames instead of Keep A Consistent sleeping — the so-called blue light that Sleep Schedule electronic devices emit sends a signal to Help your teens keep a consistent their brains that suppresses the producsleep schedule. Child psychologist Dr. tion of melatonin and prevents them Alison Baker says that “consistency is from feeling tired. Experts agree that really, really crucial in terms of building teens can avoid this problem by putting healthy sleep habits.” In other words, away these electronic devices well beencourage your teens to go to sleep and fore bedtime. As Dr. Lewin says, “leave wake up around the same time every a buffer zone of at least an hour before day — and that includes weekends. “If a going to bed.” kid’s sleep schedule shifts dramatically Parents may think that teens will on the weekends — staying up most of rebel against this rule, but that’s not the the night and sleeping until midafternoon case. According to Beata Mostafavi of Saturday and Sunday — the chances of C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, many getting back to normal Sunday night are teens “describe a sense of relief when slim,” says Professor Juliann Garey of their parents limit phone use because it NYU. takes away some of that pressure to keep Limit Afternoon Naps up with social news and what their peers Limit afternoon naps, no matter are up to.” In fact, says clinical psycholohow tired they may be, when they get gist Dr. Jeff Nalin, “not having access to back from school. Naps make it hard to electronics and social media just might fall asleep at night, let alone at their regcause your teen to become bored and deular time. If they really can’t stay awake cide to go to sleep on his or her own.” 56 WNY Family December 2021

You can help your teens stay away from electronics before they go to bed by having them do the homework that requires online access in the afternoon, and leaving offline homework for the evening. Have them do most of their homework right after they get home from school so that they can relax and unwind in the evening. “Anything to prevent teens from completing important deadlines at the end of the day,” says Ms. Mostafavi, “will make it easier to wind down for bed.”

Create An Unwinding Routine

When it’s time to wind down for the night, have your teen follow a set pattern. A nighttime routine, says Ms. Mostafavi, will “get their body into sleep mode and send the right signals to the brain that it’s time to snooze.” This could be anything from taking a hot bath or shower before they go to bed, to doing breathing exercises or writing in a journal.

Avoid Caffeinated Drinks

Finally, encourage your teens to limit their caffeine intake, especially in the afternoon and evening. They should avoid energy drinks, which often have more caffeine than coffee and tea. “If they’re craving something hot to drink,” says Kevin Asp, the founder of SomnoSure, a sleep medicine company, “then recommend a warm cup of herbal tea. One or two strong cups of tea can help them mellow out.” Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences and Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.

s s e n l l e W Choices

New Research Shows Virtual School Can Harm Children’s Vision

Source: American Academy of Ophthalmology

When COVID-19 first shut down classrooms and virtual schooling became the new norm, ophthalmologists predicted an increase in digital eye strain in children. New research from ophthalmologists at Wills Eye Hospital confirms that the increased screen time did lead to more eye strain in children, as well as a more troubling eye condition called convergence insufficiency, which can cause difficulty reading. The study is being presented at AAO 2021, the 125th annual meeting of the American Academy of Ophthalmology. Convergence insufficiency is a condition in which your eyes are unable to work together when looking at objects up close. This condition causes one eye to turn outward instead of inward with the other eye, which creates double or blurred vision. Sometimes words appear to move around on the page while reading. This can cause parents or teachers to suspect the child has learning problems rather than an eye disorder. Treatment can include eye exercises, prism eyeglasses or surgery, depending on the severity of the condition. Eye strain describes a series of symptoms that include eye fatigue, blurry vision,

dry eye, and headaches. It’s a common occurrence among computer users because people don’t blink nearly enough when using electronic devices. Studies show humans normally blink about 15 times a minute, but blink rate decreases to about five to seven times a minute while using digital devices. For most people, simply taking frequent breaks from near work and remembering to blink resolves eye strain symptoms. To conduct their study, researchers surveyed 110 students, aged 10 to 17, before and after school. School days varied in length from three to ten hours. All students were free of vision issues before the study. The survey revealed that the more time students spent online, the more likely they were to experience eye strain and convergence insufficiency, with 57 percent of students experiencing eye strain and 61 percent showing symptoms of convergence insufficiency. Of the students experiencing convergence insufficiency, 17 percent were considered severe cases. “Even healthy kids can develop eye complaints from computers and tablets,” said researcher Judith Lavrich, MD. “This is important because we know digital technology

is here to stay, even post-pandemic. Parents should be aware and asking kids if they are experiencing these symptoms. If they are, they should be brought to an eye doctor for further evaluation.”

How to Protect Children’s Eyes During Screen Time

Pediatric ophthalmologist and Academy member Luxme Hariharan, MD, recommends a simple five-step strategy, BLINK 20-20-20, to help prevent screens from damaging children’s eyes and vision. These same tips are good practices for adults and anyone suffering from chronic dry eyes or eye strain. B - BLINK: Blinking helps moisturize the eyes. Set a 20-minute timer and, when it goes off, look at an object 20 feet away for 20 seconds while blinking and relaxing the shoulders and neck muscles. This will force the eyes to reset, refocus and relax. L - LUBRICATE: Lubricate your eyes with artificial tears throughout the day. Artificial tear ointment at night may be helpful as well. If you wear contact lenses, try wearing glasses to reduce dryness while using electronic devices. If your house is dry, consider using a humidifier. I - INCHES AWAY: Keep the computer or desk an arms length away and at a slight downward angle from your child’s face. Adjust the computer screen’s settings, including contrast and brightness, so that it is comfortable for your children. Avoid using screens outside or in brightly lit areas, where the glare on the screen can create strain. Also, maintain good posture while using a screen. Poor posture can contribute to muscle tightness and headaches associated with eye strain. N - NEAR DEVICE BREAKS: Encourage children to go outside or play with a pet, sibling or non-electronic toys when taking breaks from online learning or computer use. Or look out the window for 20 seconds after completing a level in a video game. Pre-mark books with a paperclip every few chapters to remind your child to look up. On an e-book, use the “bookmark” function for the same effect. K - KNOW YOUR SOURCES: Rely on eye health information from trusted sources, including your child’s pediatrician, pediatric ophthalmologist, the Academy or the American Association of Pediatric Ophthalmology and Strabismus. For example, there is no scientific evidence that the light coming from computer screens is damaging to the eyes. Because of this, the Academy does not recommend blue light glasses or any special eyewear for computer use. December 2021 WNY Family 57

regularly teach courses to single and divorcing parents, and I estimate that the most frequently asked question is “How can I be sure I’m doing everything I need to do for my kids?” There seems to be quite a bit of anxiety about whether or not parenting alone is good enough.

dependence, a sense of selfcontrol, and promotes good social skills. Children learn resourcefulness by having parents who encourage them to do for themselves, with positive parental supervision.

My pat answer is usually this: trust your instincts and trust your love for your kids. Although that seems oversimplified, I truly believe that most parents know what they need to do — and absent a mental health issue or personality disorder — a parent’s guiding love is usually enough. However, in case single parents still need affirmation, I offer the following five concepts as a guide. If your children grow into adulthood with these basic abilities or values, parents can breathe a sigh of relief about whether or not they have done an adequate job. The real challenge is in determining what you must do now to foster these concepts in your children. Let’s look at each of them to find out.

SINGLE PARENTING — by Diane C. Dierks, LMFT

Am I Doing Okay?

Five Concepts That Define Single Parent Success

1) Self-Discipline This concept fosters a healthy sense of control, confidence, independence, self-worth and a positive work ethic. A child learns self-discipline by having parents who set appropriate boundaries, have consequences when rules are broken, rewards when rules are followed, regular chores so kids feel part of the family, and who follow-through with consistency and predictability. When parents fail to provide these, children may experience as adults the feelings of being out of control of their lives, a sense of entitlement, lack of confidence, poor self-esteem, irresponsible decisionmaking, and job difficulties.

2) Empathy This concept fosters a healthy sense of security, a realistic view of the world, positive interpersonal relationships, ability to forgive self and others, and a 58 WNY Family December 2021

healthy balance of giving and receiving. A child learns empathy from parents who allow children to fail and learn from their failures with loving support. Parents who acknowledge their children’s feelings as healthy and normal teach kids first-hand that it feels good to know someone understands their human experience. On the other hand, parents who ignore or punish their child for having certain feelings, or who unrealistically praise or build-up their children to feel better than their peers, teach kids a confusing set of rules about their place in the world. Adults who did not have parents who created an environment of empathic responses may be self-centered, detached, have difficulty relating to others in relationships, and may be afraid of commitment or healthy vulnerability to friends or partners.

3) Resourcefulness This concept fosters creativity, industriousness, healthy feelings of in-

For example, a parent who closely supervises a science project, offering positive encouragement along the way and giving a child ideas and choices about how to approach a project — but who does not do the project for the child — is fostering resourcefulness. Kids who learn to be resourceful will be much better prepared to navigate the adult world, will feel comfortable asking questions, discovering options, and networking with people to be successful providers for themselves and their families. Children who do not learn this may have trouble as adults making good choices, living independently, and setting and achieving life goals.

4) Resilience

This concept fosters patience with self and others, ability to keep going in the face of adversity, healthy coping skills in dealing with negative emotions, and the ability to be content in a variety of circumstances. Children who grow up with parents who model perseverance and faith learn that life isn’t always fair, but our response to life is what determines our happiness. In my experience, this is a concept that is best taught by modeling more than with words. Kids who have parents who are afraid to let them experience negative feelings will struggle and not possess the resiliency needed to overcome life’s simplest problems. Without this special kind of modeling and teaching, kids are likely to approach their own adult decisions and circumstances with a sense of fear, anger, depression or negativity. Single parents, especially, have a unique opportunity to model this value as they navigate some difficult terrain with dignity, respect and a strong faith in themselves and/or religious beliefs.

talents and passion for life. Many of these concepts are abstract and may not come naturally to you if you were not raised with them yourself. So, analyze each area and make a list of what you feel you are currently doing well and what areas you may need to work a little harder on to achieve.

5) Purpose This concept fosters a sense of belonging and significant place in the world, a healthy self-esteem, and a desire to give back to others based on unique talents and gifts. Kids who grow up feeling a sense of purpose about their lives can enter adulthood with a passion for a specific vocation, religion, civic duty, social issue, or any number of life-changing experiences. This can be achieved by helping kids discover their gifts and talents, usually by trial and error, as they go through childhood. A strong sense of family also contributes to a sense of purpose. Extended family members and other non-family friends can help single parents in this regard. Adults who did not have parents who encouraged passion or interests are prone to feeling lost, insignificant, poor self-esteem, disconnected and apathetic. Kids who get involved in gang activity, for example, are hungry for a sense of community and belonging. Parents have a responsibility to

their children to help them feel they are an important part of something special (like a family, community of faith, ethnic group, or cultural experience). In short, single parents can feel assured they are “doing okay” if they have a consistent plan of discipline in place, encourage and validate their child’s feelings about real situations, teach them how to do for themselves, model resiliency, and help kids discover their gifts,

If you do need help, don’t hesitate to ask for assistance from a family member, friend, or counselor. Being single does not mean you have to approach your parenting alone. In fact, asking for help and facing the task with faith and confidence will model some of the above values that will determine your child’s success. Diane C. Dierks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. She is also author of The CoParent Toolbox (2014 Aha! Publishing) and Solo Parenting: Raising Strong & Happy Families (1997 Fairview Press). For more information visit her website is www.dianedierks.com.

December 2021 WNY Family 59

Holiday Pet Hazards

on’t let Ho Ho Ho! turn into Oh, No! for your pets. Holiday excitement abounds with opportunities for pets to get into trouble ending up on Santa’s naughty list. Sights, smells, sounds and new things to play with (not necessarily pet toys) are everywhere. A little advance planning will make the holidays a happy time for everyone, including pets. Common holiday hazards include:

 Oh, Christmas tree: Securely anchor your Christmas tree and other hanging decorations. A treeclimbing cat or large dog can easily topple a tree or decorative displays. Anchor the tree to a wall, using strong cord or rope.  Extra live tree care: Cover the base that contains water for a live tree so your pet can’t drink from it. Tree preservatives can easily leak into the water causing intestinal problems if ingested. Immediately pick up any fallen pine needles. If swallowed they can puncture your pet’s intestines.  Less sparkle: Cats think tinsel is there just for them. It’s fun to bat around, carry off and nibble. This can lead to eating which can cause digestive tract obstructions, severe vomiting, dehydration and/or surgery. Skip the tinsel and potential heartache and cost for possible veterinary care.  Holiday plants: Those beautiful holiday plants can be deadly to your dog or cat. A single leaf from any lily in that beautiful arrangement someone gave you is lethal to cats. Holly, mistletoe and poinsettias are poisonous when eaten. Keep them out of pets’ reach.

60 WNY Family December 2021

THE FAMILY PET

 That holiday glow: Sparkling holiday lights mean more electrical cords for pets to chew. Secure cords out of the way. Never leave candles unattended. The swish of a tail and tap of a paw can tip a candle

while you are in another room sending your holiday celebration up in flames.  Decorations and gifts: Sharp or breakable ornaments, ribbons, angel hair and especially sparkly roping should be kept out of Fido and Fluffy’s reach. Hang tree decorations high on the tree or doublecheck how secure they are. Pets are clever and can find a way to open a tempting present before it’s time (even if it wasn’t intended for them). The scent of a box can be too tantalizing for some pets who attack it and finding who knows what treasure inside. A sick pet is not a gift you want.  Table scraps and bones: Your pet may think the holiday food is just for him. But table scraps can wreak havoc on his system — causing diarrhea, vomiting and unwanted calories. Tell your guests to ignore begging eyes and not give in by feeding. Make sure food is not placed where your pooch or kitty can reach (including near the trash can or edge of the counter.) Smaller

Gifting a Puppy This Holiday Season? Read These Tips First (StatePoint) Thinking of surprising a friend or family member with a puppy this holiday season? “Before gifting someone with a commitment that lasts well beyond the holidays, make sure you’ve made your list and checked it twice,” says Claire Komorowski, chief executive officer of PuppySpot, a USDA-licensed company whose mission is to make lives better by placing healthy puppies into happy homes.

bones or bone chips can lodge in the throat, stomach and intestinal tract. Fats, gravies and poultry skin can cause severe gastrointestinal illness and even bouts of potentially fatal pancreatitis. Keep cocktails and other beverages away as well.  Guests and escape artists: A multitude of family and guests can overwhelm some pets. Decide whether your pet would prefer a quiet place or mingle with company. When guests arrive, make sure that your pet doesn’t suddenly head for the great outdoors. However, if she runs off, be sure she is wearing proper identification and is microchipped. Pets with identification are much more likely to be returned to their owners.  Emergency plan: Just in case, keep your veterinarian’s and poison control’s number handy and the address of the nearest veterinary emergency clinic for peace of mind. If someone else is watching your pet make sure they have this info as well as your contact information. The Niagara Frontier Veterinary Society consists of more than 75 small animal hospitals and 200 veterinarians in Erie and Niagara counties. Learn more at www.nfveterinarysociety.org.

Holiday

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Having introduced over 200,000 puppies to loving homes, PuppySpot encourages potential dog owners to make responsible decisions this holiday season and are offering the following Do’s and Don’ts to help:

Don’t:

1) Surprise your friend, partner or spouse unless they’ve openly communicated that they’re ready to take on the commitment and can prepare for the puppy’s arrival. 2) Wait too long to start looking if you know this is something you and your family want for the holidays 3) Try and cut costs. Healthy, well-bred puppies can be expensive. If you see something that seems too good to be true, it probably is. 4) Expect a puppy to arrive fully-trained and well-behaved. Puppies can be mischievous and require a lot of time and attention.

Do:

1) Leave plenty of time for the entire process, you don’t want to rush selecting the right pup for you. 2) Realize your puppy may not arrive at the exact moment you had hoped for. These are living, breathing animals that require stops and care along their journey. They are not a warehouse package. 3) Plan to be home for the holidays to acclimate your puppy. Be sure to consider what happens when the holiday excitement dies down. Puppies need a great deal of attention, especially during their first year. 4) Use reputable services, like PuppySpot, which is authorized by the American Kennel Club and has its own independent scientific advisory board that collaborates with the USDA to ensure all national standards are exceeded. To learn more about PuppySpot and its promise to connect the nation’s top breeders to caring, responsible pet owners, visit www.puppyspot.com. While there is perhaps no more joyful holiday surprise than a puppy, this is one gift that should never be given lightly. By weighing the decision carefully, you can ensure that a puppy’s new home is their fur-ever home. December 2021 WNY Family 61

For additional information: Little GF Chefs site: https://littlegfchefs.com/

Interview with the founder and her daughter aka “chief inspiration officer”: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=UWIBAWy2G44

rom classroom and team celebrations to birthday and holiday parties, being a kid on a restricted diet often means missing out on a tasty part of the fun. With Little GF Chefs, (the GF stands for Gluten Free), there’s finally an easy way for parents to get their little ones helping and having a blast in the kitchen while fostering a positive relationship with their food! Their slogan: Empowering kids through fun baking experiences.

These little chefs seem to be having as much fun making gluten free treats as eating them: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=VKs50ZMYkVQ

Their delicious kid-friendly kits are free of gluten and sesame as well as the top 8 allergens: peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, wheat, milk, soy, fish, and shellfish. Their baking kits are adorable! They are a combination of food and craft activity. I so wish these were around when my son was little and my creativity was in need of inspiration. Baking kits have become very popular, especially with busy families. It’s also fun to have a kit tailored to little ones that needs no adapting. A monthly subscription for these would make such a thoughtful year round gift. A few of their kits:

Mini Gingerbread House

 Spread some holiday cheer with a Mini Gingerbread Houses Baking Kit!  Tis the Season to be baking and Little GF Chefs will get to experience the magic of the holidays by baking and decorating TWO mini gingerbread houses, complete with all of the dry ingredients, house cookie cutters, candies and decorating supplies you’ll need!

Pizza Party Kit

 Get ready for love at first bite because we’re having a Pizza Party and you’re invited!!  In this family fun baking kit, Little GF Chefs will learn how to make the most delicious pizza dough, which can be used to make either traditional personal pizzas OR pizza pockets. Yes, you read that right. The dough easily makes both and two sets of instructions are included, so the choice is yours!

 Includes: 1 bag of pie crust mix for 12 mini pies, 1 bag of apple pie filling, 2 Fall themed pastry and cookie stampers, 1 baking ring (to make the pie crust bottoms), Recipe instructions card, Ingredients + Helpful Hints card

Pumpkin Spice Donut Holes

Soft Pretzel Bites

 Soft Pretzel Bites are such a classic (and delicious!) snack, perfect for a home baking activity and for snacking on during the Super Bowl, family game night or movie night!  From watching dough rise to shaping the dough, dunking and baking their pretzel bites, there will be plenty of chemistry and fine motor skill building! Plus, they will get to experiment to see if they prefer salty or sweet toppings since both are included in the kit.

If you have any questions about our column, e-mail Kathy at allergy@roadrunner.com. For further information about food allergies, contact FARE www.foodallergy.org, or call 1-800-929-4040. Kathy Lundquist is a Western New York Parent whose son, now an adult, was born with severe food allergies. Over the last two decades, she has worked tirelessly in a variety of capacities to increase community awareness about food allergies. 62 WNY Family December 2021

Mini Apple Pie

 Includes: Donut mix, Pumpkin spice mix, Cinnamon, Pumpkin spice sugar mix, Silicone spatula and Thanksgiving themed note pad set, Piping bag, Recipe instructions and detailed ingredients cards

Apple Cider Donut Holes  Includes: Donut mix, Apple spice mix, Apple cinnamon topping, 2 silicone pinch bowls, Piping bag, Recipe instructions and detailed ingredients cards 

Bonus recipe: homemade applesauce

THE KIDDIE GOURMET

— by Barbara Blackburn

ids are treated I nobly shared a shrimp or ForestView Grill, two with my tablemate in very well at Bar & Bakery the ForestView. return for some avocado and 4781 Transit Road On Wednesday night they tanglers. Depew, NY 14043 eat free from 5pm. OtherJust Like Home offered 716-656-8760 wise a kid (or parent) can www.forestviewrestaurant.com culinary hospitality in the choose one entree for $6.99, form of Cowboy Chicken ~ SPOONS ~ including one side, one des($16.99). That is char-grilled sert, and one drink. Entrees chicken breast, caramelFOOD 4.5/5 include Grilled Cheese, 2 ized onion, bacon, sweet & Mini Burger Sliders, Persmokey BBQ, cheddar jack sonal Pizza (Cheese & Pepcheese & onion tanglers. SERVICE 4/5 peroni), 2 Chicken Fingers, On the Sandwich Hot Dog, Grilled Chicken, Board, the New HelicopKraft Macaroni & Cheese, ter is fried bologna, onions, FAMILY FRIENDLY 5/5 or Spaghetti with Sauce and stuffed banana pepper, and 1 Meatball. Sides are French bacon on a Costanzo’s roll. Fries, Mixed Fruit, CucumWhat comfort food! bers, Apple Sauce, or Sliced Breakfast can be enApples. Finally, joyed in the one chooses Ice morning and afCream or Cookter 11am. The ies. And there’s Healthy Start more: one free Omelette ($9.99) kid’s meal for is just one seevery adult meal lection. Or try a $9.99 or higher Veggie Breakfast and beverage purBowl ($8.49) of chased. All of this scrambled eggs info is on the colover home fries oring page, with with onions, a word search. mushroom, spinNaturally, there is ach and broccoli. kids’ seating. Not only kids get On to the a good deal here, adults — from but seniors as the Chef’s Feawell, with the Setures, on a spenior Plates. One cial menu that such selection is evening, Dad chose Black & Bleu Avothe Sr. 2-2-2 ($6.99). That is two eggs, cado Salad ($16.00), served with a cup two bacon, and two pancakes. of soup, blackened strip steak, roasted Cakes, pie, and Specialty Desserts red pepper, crumbled bleu cheese, cufill the dessert menu for a sweet ending. cumber, tomatoes, avocado slices, hard Our Cookies ‘N Cream pie was not too boiled egg, and onion tanglers, which sweet — just right ($5.49), and better made a salad we still remember. The than I expected. Strawberry Waffle Sunonion tanglers were the hit of the evedae and Apple Pie Logs with Ice Cream ning. The Clam Chowder boasted just as graciously complete the desserts. many clams as potatoes, making another If you look online for the menu, memorable dish, in this case bowl. we think you’ll be impressed. Also, the From the Small plates, also on the menu with the specials makes the Forspecial menu, I took pleasure in the estView even more special. We’re glad Shrimp Scampi with Bacon Jam ($11). we accidentally and serendipitously disHow can one miss with six shrimp covered this on a journey down Transit, broiled in garlic butter and white wine? after another engagement.

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64 WNY Family December 2021