Women's Edition Omaha - December 2018 by Women's Edition Magazine

THE MAGAZINE FOR METROPOLITAN WOMEN

December 2018

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Publisher’s Notes

Christmas Memories Happy holidays, everyone! This issue will be coming out right before Thanksgiving, and then we have the crazy race to the big day—Christmas! I remember one Christmas a long, long time ago, when I was a very little girl. First grade, as I recall. I went to Holy Cross Catholic School, and I was in Sister Mary Justin’s class. My classmates and I had rehearsed for what seemed like months for our big number in the Christmas singing pageant. The first graders were given the task of learning “The Christmas Song” (you may know it as “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”). What an undertaking for all of us…particularly for Sister Mary Justin! This was the first time I had appeared onstage, and I was chosen by Sister Mary Justin for a “special part.” When my classmates sang the line “and folks dressed up like Eskimos,” I had to step out, away from the chorus, all decked out in a big fur coat that was 10 sizes too big for me. I cannot convey how absolutely terrified I was. I didn’t have any lines to speak; I didn’t have to dance; I simply had to step away from the rest of the chorus and stand ALL BY MYSELF in a spotlight. I couldn’t even sleep the night before…but I did it! All the parents applauded, I survived, and our class stole the show. It seems funny now, but it was traumatic back then. My best guess is that we all have one of those “scary” Christmas memories from when we were kids. For some, it was our first meeting with that terrifying man they call Santa Claus. Sometimes, when parents take their young toddler to sit on Santa’s lap, the little one FREAKS! Now, Mom and Dad have been in line for some time, so they don’t give up—they are going to get that photo, come hell or high water. How could a little one NOT get nightmares? For others, it may have been the terror that we were on the “naughty list” and were going to end up with coal in our stockings. As Christmas loomed closer and closer, the threats from Mom and Dad came more frequently. Most likely, this was because they were exhausted and were trying to find a way to keep the “brood” in line. With all of this childhood trauma, it’s amazing that we celebrate the holiday at all! This year, enjoy the experience. Reminisce with friends, family, and kids about your own childhood memories, traumatic or otherwise. Happy holidays to all!

Points of Interest Saturday, November 24th, is Small Business Saturday. We encourage all of you to support our merchants and keep Omaha growing strong. Fremont’s Christmas Walk is Saturday, November 24th. Nancy’s Boutique will have a fun drawing planned, with discounts up to 25% off entire purchases. See her ad on page 1. Lindley Clothing, the store where women like to shop for him, is hosting their annual Ladies Day Tuesday, November 27th. There will be special discounts, free gift wrapping, and refreshments. They also have a great selection of Joseph Ribkoff for women. See their ad on page 1. Main Street Studios is hosting their Holiday Open House December 1st and 2nd. See the ad on page 34 for details. Living Beautifully Spa invites you to attend their Holiday Open House— Tuesday, December 4th, from 3-7 p.m. Meet estheticians Jessica and Erica, view live demonstrations, enjoy complimentary refreshments, and get exclusive access to specialty pricing on that day only! See the ad on page 31 and learn more in the article on page 22. Mad Hatter Muffler & Brakes is offering a 15% brake special to Women’s Edition readers. They also offer free loaner cars and courtesy drop off and pick up. See the ad on page 58. Check out Hearts & FIRE—a boutique furniture, decor, and gift store located in Rockbrook Village. See the ad on page 36. Oops! Last month, the phone number in the Kiddie Campus Child Care ad was incorrect. The correct number is 402-551-8816. See the ad on page 17.

Janet Van deWalle, National Publisher On the Cover: Joseph Ribkoff For more information, visit josephribkoff.com Positive Thought of the Month “Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” —Kin Hubbard

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Inside This Edition 2 Publisher’s Notes

40 View from the Top

6 Fashion Worthy

42 Home Works

Before holiday life gets too crazy, let’s look at the up and coming holiday fashion trends so we’ll have something special to wear this season!

8 Weekend Gourmet 12 Laughter for a Lifetime 15 Zodiac Forecast 16 A Woman’s Work

46 To Your Good Health 48 An Inside Look 50 Focus on Finance 52 Seasons of Life

Let’s make this a year to remember! What to do about the grandparents on your list? Here are some of the keys to great gift-giving for grandparents this holiday season.

18 Vantage Point

54 Business Connection

20 Fresh Concept

56 Peak Performance

The holidays! It’s the time for being with family and friends, for baking and decorating, for gift-giving and traveling and... depression?

58 Auto Wise 60 The Good Life 62 Great Escapes

22 Out and About

66 Enterprising Ideas

24 The Market Place

68 The Green Thumb

26 Healthy Living

70 Cuddly Critters

28 Good Looks

72 Positive Perspective

32 Income Outcome 33 Kids Comments 34 Interiors By Design

National Publisher/Editor Janet Van deWalle

I have a great affirmation that I use continually. It is helpful in every situation where I am attempting to achieve an outcome. I want this or something better.

Operations Manager Roxy Orr

Art & Editorial Director Erin Lanza

Administrative Assistant Veronica Relford

Copy Editor Liz Huett

Women’s Edition 11570 West Do dg e R o ad • Omah a, NE 68154 • 402-397-0732 or 888-892-40 7 6 Women’s Edition is published by and is the property of Women’s Edition, Inc. Women’s Edition® The Magazine For Metropolitan Women is a registered trademark of Women’s Edition, Inc. (Reg. No. 2,501,858). All rights reserved. Women’s Edition has no affiliation with any other publication. Women’s Edition makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising and editorial content, however, does not make any claim as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and accepts no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information. Women’s Edition is not responsible for the accuracy of the QR codes appearing in our magazine. © Copyright 2018, Women’s Edition, Inc. All rights reserved. This material is for personal use only. Republication and redissemination in whole or in part is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Women’s Edition, Inc.

December 2018

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Fashion Worthy

Razzle Dazzle Holiday Dressing Look and Feel Your Holiday Best By Holly Bell

Here they come…the candles, baking aromas, sparkle and glitter, beautiful music, frosted windows, and roaring fires. It is time to think about the most wonderful time of the year—the holiday season! During this time, we are often so busy taking care of everyone and everything that we forget to think about our own needs. It’s easy to get carried away with cooking, decorating, and gift-buying. Before holiday life gets too crazy, let’s look at the up and coming holiday fashion trends so we’ll have something special to wear this season! It’s best to head into holiday clothes shopping with a plan. You will probably need at least one or two dressy-casual looks and a couple of dressier looks for your holiday get-togethers. I love this year’s trends of glitter, velvet, winter white, and bright holiday red. Black and white is a classic combination you can turn to all year, and it’s especially chic for the holidays. A popular runway item has been the tuxedo look for women. Sleek and chic, the tuxedo can be made very feminine by switching out the top worn under the jacket. Instead of a button-down shirt, try a top embellished with sequins or lace to add a little dazzle. You could also jazz up a plainer blouse with a fabulous statement necklace. The beauty of the tuxedo look is the same as that of the little black dress—it will add versatility to your wardrobe by mixing and matching with just about everything you own. Kick your little black dress into high gear by adding a tuxedo-inspired jacket. Bring some sparkle to a black outfit with accessories designed to catch the light, such as glitterembellished shoes or a sequined scarf. For those of us who want to stand out and make an entrance that other guests will remember, fashionistas are talking about winter white this year. Seeing all-white attire in the winter is a little bit of a shock, and who doesn’t like to take advantage of a little shock value? Picture yourself in a flowing white dress in a sea of black. You will definitely turn heads this way! Be careful not to get too lacy with a white dress—you don’t want to end up looking bridal. When wearing head-to-toe winter white, it’s better to stick with solid woven fabrics that have some weight and body. Beware white knits, which are flattering on almost no one. Even all white in a wool pant and fluffy sweater would be elegant and chic and is a nice change of pace from all the dark tones that are so popular in winter. Top off your white outfit with silvery jewelry and a silver clutch bag, and be prepared for compliments! Many of us lead a more casual lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still be glamorous for the holidays! An easy way to go from everyday to holiday is adding some red. Start by pulling out the red in your closet,

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whether it’s a red plaid shirt, a red sweater, or a red scarf. Even red gloves or shoes can add a bit of holiday cheer to your outfit. Not a cherry-red person? Burgundy works, too. A great combo is red and black. This bright, bold contrast looks put together, even if you’re just doing black jeans and a red blouse. For a bold and fun holiday look that says, “Let’s party!” you can’t go wrong with a red dress. Red on red is simply luscious, but it does take a brave person who doesn’t mind being the center of attention. There is something about red that is enormously flattering. It creates a beautiful blush on the face. Blouses are back in full force this year, with a focus on sleeves: big, puffed, billowy, ruffled, trumpet, cut-out, or embellished sleeves. This has been a big year for decorative sleeves, and designers are still coming up with new and unique sleeves for 2019. To maximize your shopping budget, you should always take a look at your closet before you head to the store. Pull out the red, black, and white pieces and find some creative ways to put them together. Then go out and find the new pieces you need to add holiday cheer to your wardrobe for the entire season. Let’s enjoy the wonderful world around us as we welcome the holiday season. Don’t forget to take a moment to relax and enjoy this time instead of just rushing about until you’re exhausted. Take some time to make yourself feel special. We know we feel our best when we look our best. Happy holidays! Editor’s Note: Holly has been in the fashion industry for over 30 years as a buyer, boutique store owner, visual merchandiser, and fashion show producer. She is currently the owner of a modeling agency. Holly regularly appears on local TV doing fashion segments. WE

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Weekend Gourmet

Jingle Bells and Blinking Lights…Let’s Eat! By Kate Beiting

EZ English Toffee Line a jelly roll pan with aluminum foil. Cover the bottom of the pan with graham crackers, using whole crackers or halves to fit. Boil 1 stick of margarine and 1 stick of butter with 1/2 cup of sugar for 2 minutes, stirring often. Pour the butter mixture over the graham crackers. Bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees. Remove from oven and immediately pour a 12-ounce package of chocolate chips over the top. Spread out the chocolate. Sprinkle with 1 cup of chopped walnuts or pecans. Remove to waxed paper to cool. Cut or break into pieces. Holiday Breakfast Casserole Melt 1 stick of butter in a saucepan. Add 1 cup of brown sugar and 2 Tablespoons of corn syrup. Cook for 4–5 minutes, until the sugar is dissolved. Pour into a 9x13-inch baking dish. Cut up 1 loaf of French or Italian bread and place the pieces into the baking dish. In a separate bowl, mix 10 eggs with 2 cups of milk or Half and Half, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, and 1 Tablespoon of Grand Marnier. Pour over the bread pieces. When ready to bake, sprinkle 1/2 cup of chopped pecans on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until brown and puffy. Sweet and Sour Sausages Cut 1 or 2 pounds of cooked kielbasa or Polish sausage into

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milk and Half and Half), 1 can of drained sweet corn, 1 can of creamed corn, 1 can of cream of shrimp soup, 2 cans of cream of potato soup, 2 cans of cream of onion soup, and 1 teaspoon of Old Bay seasoning. Simmer for 15 minutes, stirring often. Add 1 can of Ro-Tel tomatoes and 1 bag of small frozen shrimp. Heat through (about 5–10 minutes). Beef Tenderloin with Merlot Sauce For the tenderloin: Take a 3-pound piece of beef tenderloin and rub in 1 Tablespoon of olive oil, along with cracked pepper and kosher salt. Bake the tenderloin on a bed of sliced onions and garlic at 425 degrees for 35–40 minutes, until an internal read thermometer registers 130 degrees. Remove from oven and cover in foil for 10 minutes. Slice and serve with merlot sauce. For the merlot sauce: While the beef is baking, mix 1/2 cup of currant jelly with 1/2 cup of merlot and 1/4 cup of beef broth in a small saucepan. Simmer for 25–30 minutes, until syrupy. Add 1 Tablespoon of butter to the sauce right before serving. No-Peek Prime Rib Blend together 2 Tablespoons of kosher salt, 1 Tablespoon of freshly ground pepper, and 1 teaspoon of garlic powder. Rub the mix all over a 4–5-pound standing rib roast, cover with plastic wrap, and let it stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. Put the roast in a large baking pan, surrounded by 10–15 cloves of garlic and 1/4 cup of water. Insert a meat thermometer. Roast at 500 degrees for 20 minutes. Reduce the oven to 325 degrees and continue roasting until the thermometer reads 130–140 degrees (your preference). Remove from oven, cover with foil, and let stand for 15 minutes. Whisk 1/2 cup of whipping cream to soft peaks. Mix in 3

Tablespoons of finely chopped fresh fennel, 3 Tablespoons of finely grated fresh horseradish, 1 teaspoon of finely chopped fresh fennel fronds, and several dashes of salt and pepper. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Oven-Roasted Butternut Squash Peel and chunk-cut a butternut squash (scoop out the seeds). Place the chunks in a large bowl and drizzle 3 Tablespoons of olive oil on top, along with a few dashes of cinnamon, nutmeg, ground thyme, chili powder or Old Bay seasoning, and salt and pepper. Place the squash on a cookie sheet (lined with foil) and bake at 400 degrees for approximately 20 minutes or until tender. Glazed Nuts In a large bowl, beat one egg white until foamy. Stir in 1/2 cup of brown sugar, 2 Tablespoons of ground cinnamon, 1 teaspoon of ground cloves, 1 teaspoon of ground ginger, and 1 Tablespoon of vanilla. Whisk well. Add 1 pound of mixed nuts (pecans, walnut halves, almonds). Coat nuts evenly and spread them out onto a lightly greased baking sheet. Bake at 300 degrees for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cool. Pfeffernuesse Mix together 1 and 1/2 cups soft butter and 1 and 1/2 cups of sugar until creamy. Mix in 2 eggs. In a large bowl, mix 4 cups of flour, 1/2 teaspoon of nutmeg, and 1 teaspoon each of ginger, cloves, cinnamon, and cardamom. Add the dry ingredients to the egg mixture (and add 1/4 cup of finely chopped nuts, if you like). Cover and refrigerate overnight. Roll dough out into ropes that are 1/2-inch thick. Slice into 1/2-inch pieces. Bake at 350 degrees for 7–8 minutes. WE

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December 2018

Laughter for a Lifetime

Unsolved Mysteries Scratching Head, Needing a Rational Answer

By Sharon Knierim

Have you wondered why the tap water is colder in the bathrooms than in the kitchen? Does anyone really know where the mate to that unmatched sock is? One might think that within a home where the environment is relatively controlled, there would be very few mysteries. Yet, we are often left scratching our heads, wondering where, why, or how things happen or don’t happen around the house. As a parent, you know that children are often first to point out life’s inconsistencies and mysteries. Many of us scramble for a rational answer. Consider the following unsolved mysteries around my house: What happens if I remove the warning label from my new mattress? When we were raising our children, it seemed a moral issue to remove those pesky tags. The law warned of dire consequences if that tag was removed. Most parents hope their offspring will grow up to become law-abiding citizens. At the same time, most parents promptly grab the shears and remove the tags, all the while hoping the “mattress police” don’t come to the door and force the children to testify against their wellintentioned parents. In truth, 32 of the 50 states require mattress tags, but not one enforces laws requiring the tags to remain intact. Why is the bottom of the hamburger bun so skinny, while the top of the bun is so fat? Here’s a question you can really sink your teeth into (pun intended!) When we bite into a juicy burger, the broth and juices flow into the skinny bun’s wilting bottom, onto our hands, and down our forearms to our elbows. Wouldn’t it make more sense if the thicker bread was on the bottom of the bun to soak up all of those juices? Bun experts admit that because the bun top is more attractive, they do want to showcase as much of it as possible. The solution to dripping buns is easily found by flipping the bun upside down so that the top is on the bottom and the bottom is on the top. While we’re talking about buns, is there any way to match up the number of hot dog buns to the number of hot dogs per package? Nobody seems to know why the number of dogs and buns don’t match. The only way to balance dogs to buns is to buy five packages of eight buns and four packages of 10 hot dogs. Eat as many as you can, freeze the remainder, and hope for the best. Which is right? Is it shiny side out or shiny side in? That’s right. We’re back to that same old question about aluminum foil. For the life of me, I can’t decide which is correct. So after a bit of research, here’s the definitive answer: It really makes no difference. There is only a slight difference in the ability of the shiny versus the dull side’s reflectivity. In fact, that difference is so insignificant that it can only be effectively measured by highly sensitive laboratory instruments. Why don’t clocks run counterclockwise? Leave it to children to ask a question parents cannot answer. It’s time for more research. I wish I had looked for the answer 20 years ago. Clocks are descendants of sundials.

December 2018

Because we live in the Northern Hemisphere, shadows rotate from right to left; that is, sundial shadows move in the same direction as today’s clocks. Built to imitate the sun’s natural movements, clocks are said to move “clockwise.” You might think someone would have called it “sunwise.” Shouldn’t kitchen sinks have overflow holes? This has to be a question from a child who has overflowed the kitchen sink by mistake or as a result of a science project gone awry. Bathtubs and bathroom sinks feature that little overflow hole. Its purpose is to prevent spills when the water is left on too long or the basin becomes too full. Because most kitchens have double sinks with a divider between them with a decidedly lower level, overflows are not as likely to happen. In a perfect situation, the overflow from one kitchen sink should automatically flow into its mate. Even more important to the overflow question is what accumulates in kitchen sinks. Grease and fat would quickly clog an overflow hole. Many of us are concerned about “germ warfare” around food and food surfaces, thus eliminating the overflow hole’s practicality. Why does my stomach growl? Biology questions are the most fun. Our stomachs growl more when we’re hungry partly because of psychological reasons; the condition of being hungry is an increased muscular action of the belly. It seems to anticipate an upcoming meal. Although not really scientific, this explanation seems to please most young question-askers. Is it really necessary to include that disgusting piece of fat in a can of pork and beans? Some families have been known to squabble over who gets the little piece of pork in the beans. In other families, that little white cube simply gets left behind for the garbage disposal. Whatever that pork’s fate is, it was added to the can for flavor. In actuality, that piece of pork is fairly large at the beginning of the cooking process, but heating and processing melts it down to the size we are familiar with. While some pork and beans connoisseurs feel bitter if their pork is not present, others feel relief. Others have noticed that, during recent years, many manufacturers use rendered pork liquid rather than solid pieces of meat. Either way, producers are required to call it “pork and beans.” Some mysteries are meant to remain unsolved. Take a look around your home. Surely there are mysteries lurking about. WE

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Zodiac Forecast

SAGITTARIUS

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November 22–December 22

Happy birthday, Sagittarius! Your family affairs and personal happiness are important this month. Any career or professional ambitions can simmer on the back burner—the only exception is involvement in professional holiday cheer! This season is one of the brightest of the year for you, allowing you to feel selfconfident and energetic. Seek out what makes you happy and indulge yourself in dreams! Capricorn (Dec 23–Jan 19) The planet Venus is influencing you, and your magnetism will be endless.You attract others effortlessly, which will make the holiday season very enjoyable and entertaining!

Gemini (May 21–Jun 20) Career development will be excellent! You are in a social peak and are noticing appreciation from others. Positive energy and action result in stupendous growth.

Aquarius (Jan 20–Feb 18) Professional objectives and worldly desires will be your focus this month. Progress is made through your actions. You may find the answers you seek through your dreams!

Cancer (Jun 21–July 22) Socially, you may be quite active. Your career will be especially hectic, which assists in future endeavors. Remember to make time for you and your loved ones!

Pisces (Feb 19–Mar 20) Financial prosperity will be wonderful this month. In addition, your compatibility with your loved ones will be very high—expect harmonious relationships and gatherings! Celebrate these moments with social activity and cheer.

Leo (July 23–Aug 22) This month will be splendid for love and relationships. There will be abundant amounts of socializing and entertainment.

Aries (Mar 21–April 19) Your emphasis is primarily on career, and you should take action to achieve your goals. You will have enjoyable relations with family members, and your love life could spice up around the workplace! Taurus (Apr 20–May 20) Awareness of health will be helpful during the Mercury retrograde. Strong relationships with family members and colleagues will boost your health. Spiritual techniques such as meditation will also have a positive effect on your well-being!

Virgo (Aug 23–Sep 22) Things may seem stressful due to Mercury’s retrograde. Be mindful of health. Conserve energy and indulge in a spa day to remain physically and mentally fit. Libra (Sep 23–Oct 22) House of family is dominant. During this busy season, be sure to get sufficient amounts of rest. Pamper yourself! Take time for self-indulgences like massage. Scorpio (Oct 23–Nov 21) Emotional happiness and loved ones are front and center this month. Allow your professional ambitions to remain in the background for the time being. Spare some time for humanitarian activities and charitable events this season. WE

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December 2018

A Woman’s Work

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year Feeling the Holiday Spirit

By Sharon Knierim

Have you noticed how everyone’s personality changes as we approach the biggest holiday of the year? Christmas seems to be a transformative time for even the stingiest of Scrooges. People are more willing to smile and hold doors open for shoppers whose arms are laden with packages or small children. There is a twinkle in everyone’s eyes that we don’t commonly see during the rest of the year. During this special season of giving, we open our hearts to others as we make plans to entertain in our homes, purchase or make special gifts, and go the extra mile to share good tidings. I like it. How about you? Sometimes, I think people must be recalling good memories of bygone Christmases, or maybe they’re just happy about their present situation. Of course, sometimes I feel a small pang of jealousy, thinking that anyone who looks so happy must surely have all their Christmas shopping completed already! We have attempted to duplicate the Christmases of old over the years, but there always seems to be something missing. It must be some of the people who are no longer with us. Just like all of us,

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December 2018

these folks brought special talents and joy to each gathering, and Christmas was no exception. I like to think of our mother, who was never one who could keep a secret but somehow became very secretive and sly as Christmas approached. One year, she even hid some of our gifts in the bottom of our upright piano! The secret was out when she announced on Christmas morning where she had been hiding those special gifts, so she was never able to hide anything there again. We children knew that because we looked there every year thereafter. Just like now, the days leading up to the big day were filled with anxiety and the thrill of what we might find under the tree on Christmas morning. It truly was the most wonderful time of

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the year. As children, we behaved so well during the month of December that we probably shocked even ourselves. Maybe the angels are whispering in our ears to remind us to be good people and to spread a little kindness to others. There seems to be no such thing as a stranger during the holiday season. People seem truly interested in each other, which feels good. Maybe that is a special gift to us all. If so, we should try to keep that feeling going during the other 11 months of the year. Christmas is what we make it. Some people enjoy going “all out,” decorating everything in sight, while others prefer to remain more low-key. People in each group enjoy the holiday just as much as the others. There doesn’t have to be a huge turkey or goose or ham on the table. There doesn’t need to be a huge crowd to be fed and cared for. We do not need to haul out the good china and wipe down the crystal and iron the good tablecloth. Christmas is about giving, and the best we can give is ourselves. If we don’t care to prepare a huge feast and eat like Rockefellers, we don’t have to do that. Sandwiches or spaghetti on plastic plates can be just fine. Christmas is what we make it. Christmas is what we want it to be. Gifts do not need to be elaborate or outrageously expensive. Do you have a Christmas gift from the past that is special to you? Many keepsakes began their tenure with us as gifts from Santa or someone we love. Mine is a heartshaped charm with the Lord’s Prayer printed on it. Although it is not made of pure gold, it seemed like it when I received it many years ago. It most likely was purchased from a Five and Ten store, but it has become a true treasure over the years. To this day, I sometimes wear it and love it as much as when it was new. Little things mean a lot. When we receive (or give) such a gift, it becomes very special. Whatever your Christmas and holiday plans are this year, let me wish you the best one you have ever had. If you are craving a fancy Christmas, go ahead and do that. If you are hoping instead for a low-key celebration, let that be what your holiday is all about. Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. There is so much to celebrate and to be happy about. Remember, the most wonderful gift you can possibly offer is the gift of yourself and your time. Merry Christmas to all! WE

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December 2018

Vantage Point

Dr. Arlene Garcia Trauma Counseling With Heart By Elizabeth French

Upon entering Lakota Lodge Counseling, one cannot help but relax. The peaceful sounds of flowing water and soft music, along with the traditional Native American blankets and artwork decorating the room, soothe visitors into a tranquil state of mind. Arlene Garcia, PhD, notes that many of her clients arrive up to an hour before their appointments, just to bask in this comforting oasis. “Soothing water and music are things that everybody can respond to,” she says. Don’t be fooled, though—this is not a day spa. Dr. Garcia is a mental health professional with 46 years of experience who specializes in helping people who have suffered trauma in their lifetimes. She is a member of the Lakota tribe who moved back to Omaha from Oklahoma to be closer to the Pine Ridge Reservation, her home reservation. She uses many methods of treatment, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Her approach focuses on listening to her clients. “What you have to say is more important than what I have to say, and I want to give that credence,” she says. Dr. Garcia was one of three clinicians who initiated the PTSD program at the VA Medical Center in November 1993. She is particularly proud of her work with veterans. She earned her status as an honorary Marine from Vietnam Marines. Through her VA experience, Dr. Garcia explains, “I became more aware of trauma. The Vietnam vets were the group that initiated our treating PTSD.” Before that time, it was commonplace to sweep what was known as “shell shock” or “combat fatigue” under the rug. The Vietnam era made the mental health field look at post-traumatic stress in an entirely different light. Many veterans were just told to “get a job” upon returning home. That’s not terrible advice, but, for many of these people, getting a job wasn’t the issue—keeping a job was much more challenging. In fact, Dr. Garcia has treated one veteran who had worked 62 jobs in a single year! The problem, she says, is that the trauma that veterans suffered seems to go unnoticed when they are immersed within their home communities. It can be difficult for a traumatized veteran to work alongside civilians who may not understand what veterans have experienced. It can also be difficult to live alongside people who didn’t share your traumatic experiences. Dr. Garcia works with veterans, civilians, and their families to facilitate communication and a better understanding of how the trauma is affecting each member of the family and the family as a whole. Many times, significant others have trouble understanding how those with PTSD choose to deal with their traumas. Spouses may wonder why veterans want to engage with their comrades from

December 2018

combat instead of trying to “just forget” about it. “It’s painful when I see a significant other who refuses to try to understand what’s going on,” says Dr. Garcia. “It is essential that the couple make a sincere effort to understand where the other is coming from.” Seeing Dr. Garcia on a regular basis provides an opportunity for increased communication. “Those with PTSD can communicate with someone who is not only willing to hear their experiences but can understand the profound nature of the experiences and help in the interpretations, as well as the dynamics and effects of the experiences,” says Dr. Garcia. Dr. Garcia also facilitated a group for veterans and spouses during her time at the VA, which allowed them to come together for meaningful conversation with people who could relate to one another’s experiences. In Dr. Garcia’s opinion, those with PTSD can give each other counsel that can be “more meaningful coming from a peer.” During group sessions, Dr. Garcia generally advises family members of those who have endured trauma to give them the space they need to process their trauma. She advises them to ask, “What can I do to make things better?” At the end of the day, Dr. Garcia’s goal is to see a small change—a smile, a decision to say, “I can take my life back.” Drawing from her own cultural traditions, she does her best to live what she preaches. “We believe in calmness, fairness, being good to each other.” Living by these traditions, Dr. Garcia is heavily involved in her community and is an Elder, Pipe Carrier, and Sun Dancer for the Native American church. Dr. Garcia also works along with therapy dogs, who can provide silent comfort and companionship for those who need an extra level of emotional support. Therapy dogs, she points out, “let you know that you’re really important to them. They’ll do whatever they can for you in terms of being patient with you and letting you know how valuable you are to them.” If you or someone you know has suffered trauma, in combat or in civilian life, reach out to Dr. Garcia at Lakota Lodge Counseling today at 402-681-4348. Her office is located at 8998 L Street, Suite 108. WE

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December 2018

Fresh Concept

How Happy Are Your Holidays? Understanding Holiday Depression By Kylie Gumpert

The holidays—they’re the most wonderful time of the year! It’s the time for being with family and friends, for baking and decorating, for gift-giving and traveling and...depression? It can be very true. Many people find the holiday season uplifting and an important way to connect with others. However, some people also report feelings of stress, anxiety, sadness, and loneliness that correlate strongly with the winter holidays. Feelings like these are normal for people to experience occasionally, especially during periods of high stress (sounds like the holidays to me!). However, the National Alliance on Mental Illness notes that these feelings need to be acknowledged and managed. Why do so many people experience these feelings during a time of year that is meant to be happy, fun, and meaningful? Many things contribute to holiday depression, including setting your expectations too high (for yourself or for others), not giving yourself enough time to get things done, spending too much money on gifts or parties, being around people whose behavior causes you stress, eating or drinking too much, not sleeping enough, or missing someone you’ve lost. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), the strong focus on materialism during the holiday season also often contributes to feelings of dissatisfaction and depression, especially for people whose financial resources are limited. Someone who is experiencing holiday depression might report feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, persistent sadness, decreased energy, difficulty concentrating, insomnia or oversleeping, low appetite or overeating, or loss of interest in activities, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. The APA warns that if someone continues to experience these feelings past the holiday season or if the feelings intensify and begin to interfere with everyday life, what started as holiday-related depression may have developed into a more serious depressive condition that requires help from a mental health professional. There are several things you can do to lessen stress or negative feelings brought on by the holiday season. Simply acknowledging your feelings and reaching out if you feel sad or isolated during the holidays are the first things the Mayo Clinic recommends for preventing and minimizing depression symptoms. Recognizing that it’s okay to feel sad and that no one is happy all the time can help you realize that what you are feeling is normal and can prevent you from focusing too intensely on those emotions. Other coping mechanisms include being realistic about expectations, accepting change, setting aside differences, budgeting, planning, saying “no,” maintaining healthy habits and routines, setting aside time for yourself, volunteering, and, of course, reaching out to a mental health professional for assistance. Being realistic includes recognizing and accepting

December 2018

that nothing is perfect and that no one—including you!— should expect you to be perfect. If the holidays just feel like one long and arduous to-do list, take a step back. Assess what you can delegate to others and what may not really need to get done at all. Accepting change can be difficult around the holidays, especially if a long-standing tradition doesn’t work as well now that everyone has young children or can’t make it into town. It’s important to have traditions, but that doesn’t mean they should be set in stone. Be flexible and willing to let plans change as lives change. Setting aside differences is often easier said than done, especially when you are around people you may have quarreled with in the past (or in the present, for that matter). Long-term relationships like family often bring drama. It’s important to recognize when a situation needs to be addressed and when it’s best to just let someone be. It’s easy to overspend during the holidays, when everyone seems to be splurging on food and gifts. Take some time early on to figure out how much you can comfortably spend, which can also help you plan what gifts or items you’ll need to purchase. If the focus on materialism is wearing you down, consider doing a family gift exchange, donating to a charity, or making homemade gifts. Don’t forget that the best thing about the holidays can be just spending time with the people you love—not coincidentally, this can also help combat depression. Planning is key to feeling like you’re in control of yourself. Set aside time to plan what events you’re attending or hosting, what gifts or supplies you need to purchase, and what travel plans to make before everything gets started and you’re in over your head. Taking the time to think things through and make a list can decrease stress and help you feel like you’re more in control…because you are! Saying “no” makes some of us very uncomfortable— so uncomfortable, in fact, that we’d rather suffer through

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a task than express our true feelings. If you’ve managed the family holiday party for several years now, but you’re finding it takes too much of a toll, you have every right to ask for help or to request that someone else take responsibility. You don’t have to accept every invitation. If you know an event will be stressful or too tiring, don’t be afraid to gracefully tell people, “Sorry, but I can’t.” With all the delicious treats and changes in routine, it’s easy to abandon our exercise regimens and healthy eating around the holidays, but taking good care of ourselves is a great way to battle anxiety, depression, and stress. This isn’t to say that you can’t indulge, but it’s important not to use the holidays as an ongoing excuse to eat and drink too much and sleep and exercise too little. If you don’t make time for yourself during the holidays, you aren’t going to get it. Create a space to do something that is enjoyable and relaxing for you—and then take that time to do it. Your to-do list will be there when you’re done, and you’ll be able to accomplish more and feel better about it if you’ve taken some time to unwind. Volunteering is a great way to battle anxiety and depression at any time of year, but it feels especially rewarding during the holiday season. Plan a time for your family to volunteer with a local non-profit organization. Getting out of your head and recognizing what other people are going through can help you reflect on how grateful you are for your own life and the people you share it with. Connecting with others and helping them in their time of need is an incredibly meaningful experience that can bring your loved ones closer and help everyone focus on what’s most important: being together. Many people who experience some level of holiday depression come out of it on their own as the season passes. For others,

however, it develops into something more. If you are struggling to feel hopeful or your stress is debilitating, it’s always okay to reach out to a mental health professional or hotline to ask questions and figure out if some type of treatment may help you feel better. For people who are already diagnosed with depression or an anxiety disorder, the holidays are often an even more difficult time. Through psychotherapy, or talk therapy, a psychologist can offer strategies to help you set realistic goals, change unhealthy behaviors, and address emotional issues. Medication may help some patients with severe or long-lasting cases of holiday depression. To obtain a prescription, you’ll need to meet with a psychiatrist to discuss your symptoms and determine a treatment plan. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) can also be a problem during the holiday season. This disorder comes and goes with the seasons, typically starting in the late fall and going away during the spring or summer. It is thought to be brought on by the relative lack of light when the days are short. Light therapy is often used to treat seasonal affective disorder. During light therapy, the patient sits for up to an hour each day in front of a light box that emits fluorescent light. This is thought to improve the patient’s mood by supplementing the sunshine lost during the winter months. The holidays are always going to be a busy, lively, and somewhat stressful time in our lives—and that’s okay! Be sure to take care of yourself this season. Watch for signs that you are feeling hopeless or overwhelmed, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Happy holidays! Sources for this article included: mayoclinic.org, mhawisconsin.org, apa.org, ucdmc.ucdavis.edu, dana.org, nimh.nih.gov, nami.org, and adaa.org. WE

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Out and About

Living Beautifully Spa Putting Your Best Face Forward

By Loretta McCollum

Who among us doesn’t dream of waking up and looking in the mirror to admire our smooth and radiant complexion, our perfectly-shaped brows, our thick eyelashes, well-defined eyes, our full lips, and permanent eyeliner? Living Beautifully Spa can help make that dream a reality. Owner and licensed esthetician Jessica Johnson uses cutting-edge technology to deliver the latest in face and beauty treatments. Jessica, while a stay-at-home mom, was a Mary Kay director. Once her last child entered school she took a position as a clubhouse manager of a local country club and then moved on to managing a public golf course for five years. Life took a turn when Jessica divorced. She decided the timing was right to reinvent herself with a career change. Jessica discovered her passion for esthetics, realizing that a career in the beauty industry would allow her to combine her desire to help others with her dedication for looking and feeling great from the inside out. After she graduated with honors at the top of her class at Capitol School of Esthetics in 2010, she began working with holistic physicians. It was during this time that Jessica developed some highly sought-after

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skills. Jessica was one of the first professionals in Omaha to master microneedling and the delicate art of applying eyelash extensions. Using the business skills she honed during her golf industry days, Jessica opened Living Beautifully Spa in December 2014. The work ethic she inherited from her mother prepared her for the challenges of operating a successful business. A full-blooded Native American, Jessica’s mother was a medic in Vietnam at the young age of 19. She earned a degree in psychology at age 40 and embarked upon a career in social work. Jessica attributes her own desire to help others to the example set by her mother.

December 2018

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“My mom was the biggest influence in my life, followed by my grandmother,” Jessica says. “My mother told me, ‘There’s always a good in everything,’ and I always try to remember that. She would also say, ‘Never give up and always be yourself.’” This philosophy holds even more meaning for her now as Jessica’s mother and grandmother passed away this year, three and a half weeks apart. In July 2016, the business expanded and moved to a larger facility with four treatment rooms, located at 7811 Chicago Court. Living Beautifully Spa wants every woman to feel confident and beautiful, inside and out. Jessica and Erica Nechkach, a licensed esthetician on staff, focus on getting to know each of their clients so they can customize a treatment that will provide the best outcome for each individual client. They believe that beautiful, healthy-looking skin is a combination of external and internal factors. Jessica’s experience in nutrition, gained while working for physicians, gives her the confidence to recommend specific supplements and dietary plans to clients. “Jessica has been my esthetician for several years,” says client Jeanne. “She will take the time to listen and address any questions or concerns you may have. I trust her to know what is best for the health of my skin.” Deb agrees, saying, “My skin hasn’t looked this good in years. Jessica has made the transition into my 50s a celebration! I highly recommend her!” Living Beautifully Spa offers two innovative facial treatments: dermaplaning and the HydraFacial, which is known as “the Ferrari of facials.” Both treatments are painless and involve no downtime. Dermaplaning is a process in which dead

skin and hair are removed manually, using a dermaplaning tool. It diminishes fine lines and wrinkles, allows for better absorption of skin care products, and helps makeup go on smoothly. It’s often performed with the HydraFacial, a multistep treatment that cleanses, exfoliates, extracts impurities, and infuses and protects with antioxidants. “It’s like liquid gold for the skin,” Jessica notes. Multiple types of peels are also offered, including anti-aging, acne, cell renewal, and detoxifying. Living Beautifully Spa’s newest service is lash lifting and tinting, an alternative to lash extensions. It’s like a perm for your lashes, curling them and making them look longer. Color is added for definition. It’s an inexpensive, low-maintenance lash option. Jessica is also an expert in microblading and permanent makeup. Microblading is a cosmetic tattoo procedure that requires special licensing. A handheld tool dipped in pigment applies individual strokes to the brows, creating a natural look that can last up to three years. Permanent makeup is a technique that can be used for the appearance of fuller, more defined lips. An outline is drawn just outside the lip line and blended in. Color can be added to the lip, eliminating the need to constantly re-apply lipstick. When the technique is used for eyeliner, it adds great definition. Permanent makeup can last three to five years. Jessica is also is an instructor in microblading and eyelash extensions for licensed professionals who are looking to expand their expertise. If you’re ready to put your best face forward, contact Living Beautifully Spa at 402-990-1248. For more information on services or classes, find them online at livingbeautifullyspa.com or on Facebook. WE

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December 2018

The Market Place Nearing midlife or going through it? Empty Nester? Looking for answers or a restart? Your Second Season is an umbrella of resources to understand your next season through empowerment, wellness, inspiration, and support. Where women can learn to attain their highest fulfillment and create their next story.

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Your Second Season Your Second Season is passionate about connecting women experiencing the unique challenges and triumph of midlife. Many women during this second season are ill-informed as the word “empty nester“ and midlife” have a negative connotation of aging and decline. Not True! This is your opportunity to navigate your second season by dealing with your multiple co-stressor of anxiety, financial burdens, hot flashes, weight gain, fatigue, selfworth, identity, purpose, and more. Join us on March 22 for a dynamic conference that will support and inspire. Be Fabulously fearless. Visit www.yoursecondseason.com. City View Dental City View Dental announces the addition of Brian Guenther, DC, to our team. He has over 17 years’ experience in chiropractic and acupuncture. Now, you can enjoy a spa-like experience while you are here. A typical visit includes an adjustment, electro acupuncture, and seven minutes in an “Infinity” massage chair in our relaxation room. Initial visits are $75 and $40 once established. Walk-ins welcome for Dr. Guenther or call today at 402-551-0410. Dr. Guenther is available Monday and Wednesday from noon to 5 p.m. City View Dental is located at 1415 Harney Street, Suite 100. Float Center Float Therapy is a practice in which you lie in water saturated with Epsom salts, allowing you to float effortlessly in a pod or cabin devoid of all light and sound. You can relax—If you’re living in discomfort from minor aches to chronic pain, floating helps take the pressure off the body.You can feel relief and melt your stress away in complete weightlessness. You can heal—If you have extended your body physically, floating helps the healing process. You can recover faster, improve your performance, and be ready for tomorrow. You can think—If you’re busy and your mind becomes cloudy, floating helps shut out the noise. You can quiet your mind, boost your creativity, and improve your focus. Schedule your float at www.floatcenter.com.

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December 2018

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Papio Creek Gems If you love creating jewelry or buying artisan pieces, you will love shopping at Papio Creek Gems. This family-owned and -operated business has been serving Omaha for 16 years. They have an unparalleled selection of gemstones and beads from around the world. Their wide array of jewelry has been created by local and world-class artisans. They also offer jewelry supplies, silversmithing and jewelry creation classes, jewelry repair, and professional gemstone cutting. Stop in and be amazed! They are located across the street from Oakview Mall at 3412 South 144th Street. Give them a call at 402-935-GEMS (4367).

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Parsons House on Eagle Run All assisted living facilities are not equal. At Parsons House, we provide residents with their own apartment and add assistance as it is needed. Our services are catered to individual residents. For example, if additional services are required due to declining health, an illness, or recovery from surgery, care can be scaled up to meet the needs of that resident. We want every resident to live as independently as possible. We invite you and your family to visit Parsons House and experience the care, comfort, and compassion that can only be achieved within an atmosphere of trust. Call 402-498-9554 today to schedule a tour. Antler View Apartment Homes Welcome home to Antler View, the newest luxury apartment community in Elkhorn, Nebraska. Life at Antler View puts you in the heart of the finest dining, shopping, and entertainment that Omaha has to offer. Antler View provides its residents a selection of one and two bedroom homes in one of the most sought-after neighborhoods in the Metro area. We hope you take pleasure in your chef-inspired kitchen with granite countertops, beautiful wood-grain LVT flooring, open concept floor plans, huge closets, magnificent clubhouse with swimming pool, 24-hour fitness center, and much more. Come and ENJOY life at Antler View Apartment Homes!

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December 2018

Healthy Living

Float Center Revive Yourself, One Float at a Time By Cynthia Jeffrey

In a world of never-ending stimulation overload, it is amazing that we have the ability to focus on any one task…or do we? While many of us pride ourselves in having the ability to multi-task, there’s no way we can do our best work while we’re doing (or thinking about) more than one thing at a time. We are overburdened because we feel the need to say “yes” to everyone who asks for our time. We are overwhelmed because our to-do lists keep getting longer, and we are resentful because we have put ourselves last...again. Sound familiar? Technology is incredibly lifechanging, but not all that change is positive. Sometimes, it serves as little more than a continuous stream of reminders that we are not meeting all of our commitments. For our spiritual, physical, and mental health, we need to disconnect and allow our bodies to restore their natural rhythms. How can we possibly achieve this? Local business owner Scott Berryman believes that

we can restore our balance if we allow ourselves to literally float. He is the owner of Float Center, a spa concept that is catching on in our area. Scott had the idea for Float Center after a lightbulb moment with his then wife, Paige, one morning before work. She is a mom and a physician, and she commented that her morning shower was the only time she had to herself. That sentiment hit Scott right in the gut. How could he help her, and others like her, to disconnect and restore? At Float Center, you reserve 90 minutes to float in water that is saturated with Epsom salts, which allows the human body to float weightlessly (not like you’re

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doing a back float in the pool). A float provides an opportunity for Who else can benefit from floating? Virtually everyone, Scott meditation, prayer, or problem-solving. Often, floating stimulates asserts. “As a Chopra-certified primordial sound meditation creativity—this is so common that there is an area at Float Center teacher, I was eager to see what ‘floating’ would mean to my own designed for floaters to jot down their thoughts or create a canvas. meditation practice,” says client Jeff. “Wow! Off the charts deeper! Omaha float spas celebrate this creativity and have cooperated to Maybe it’s the weightlessness. I’ve floated twice and will continue, create a book entitled “Inspiration from Water: A Floating Artist for the meditative benefits and for the health, as well.” Project.” New client Dawn can’t wait to come Does the idea of being alone and back for another float. “I floated for the quiet with yourself for 90 minutes make first time this week,” she shares. “It was As Scott reminds us, quiet you feel anxious? As a society, we are amazing! Definitely will be back. My daily so bombarded by stimulation from the pain is significantly diminished, and I feel time is imperative for outside that we forget what’s important better overall. Thank you!” on the inside. As Scott reminds us, For some people, the thought of relaxing the body, calming quiet time is imperative for relaxing the floating weightlessly for 90 minutes body, calming the mind, and soothing sounds heavenly. For others, it may sound the mind, and soothing the spirit—floating creates the ideal confining. Rest assured that you are free conditions for all of these things. to come and go from the float tank as you the spirit—floating creates Scott loves to talk with clients after please. Research has shown that 90 minutes they float. People come into the spa for the ideal conditions for is the optimum time for a float to relax your different reasons, including pain relief, body and mind, but you can strive for that all of these things. relaxation, and anxiety reduction. Float goal at your own pace. You can adjust the Center participates in The Weightless music and lighting, as well. Warrior project, which works directly To learn more about Float Center, with veterans who suffer from PTSD to provide free floats. (Some find them online at floatcenter.com or on Facebook under research correlates a decrease in PTSD symptoms when patients @FloatCenterOMA.156Dodge. They are located in the Pepperparticipate in a regimen that includes float therapy.) wood Plaza in Omaha, at 597 155th Plaza. Call 402-739-8391 Scott has seen this among many of his clients, and not just to arrange a tour. Let them show you the available options for those who have served in the military. PTSD can be debilitating. restoring your balance and rediscovering the best, most relaxed Some clients find such relief in their regular floats that they are version of you! After all, incredible things happen when we allow experiencing positive benefits in other areas of their lives. ourselves to just be. WE

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Good Looks

Firm Foundations What’s Supporting Your Wardrobe?

By Loretta McCollum

We’ve all heard that you can’t build anything great without a solid foundation. This principle applies to many things—buildings, relationships, and even your wardrobe! Whether you’re wearing something from a favorite designer’s recent collection or your latest thrift store find, it’s hard to look and feel your best if what you’re wearing underneath isn’t comfortable or flattering. The right lingerie not only helps your clothes fit better, it also helps you feel more confident. Well-fitting bras, smoothing body shapers, and silky slips should be essential elements of every woman’s wardrobe. Many of us are going about this all wrong! We spend hours searching for the perfect cocktail dress, but when it comes to selecting what goes underneath, we just grab and go. Admittedly, most of us aren’t comfortable being on display in a crowded department store, waiting for a total stranger to wrap a tape measure around our body parts and shout out our dimensions like a server relaying a food order. You may feel more at ease in a local lingerie shop. This is a more intimate setting, where trained professionals help you select the perfect undergarments for your size and body type. Many of these professionals have attended a “bra school,” complete with written exams and hands-on practice fittings. They go above and beyond cup and band size! A well-trained bra fitter asks about your style preferences and assesses the shape,

firmness, depth, and tissue placement of your breasts. You may learn about styles that you hadn’t considered before. Even when you’re armed with your correct sizes, there are some basics to remember while you’re shopping. Bra straps shouldn’t slip, breast tissue shouldn’t overflow the cup, and the band should stay parallel all the way around the body. Band size is measured just under the bust, and cup size is measured at the fullest part of the breast, while you’re standing with your arms at your sides. If the band rides up in the back, it’s too large. If the shoulder straps fall or the cups pucker, the cup is too big. A well-fitting bra should feel like two hands are holding up your breasts comfortably. Ill-fitting bras can cause neck pain, back pain, and poor posture. Since you have more than one type of top, you’ll need more than one type of bra. A good t-shirt bra and a sports bra are essential for everyday wear. A bra with convertible straps is very useful, ›››

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as it can be worn as a cross-back, halter, one-shoulder, or strapless bra, as well as in the basic style. Body shapers eliminate panty lines and unsightly bulges. These aren’t your grandma’s girdles, ladies! There are sleek styles for every look. Biker shorts have a full panty and legs to just above the knee, for a firm bottom and a shapely waist. A body brief resembles a one-piece swimsuit, with a built-in bra and tummy control. Control briefs feature a tummy panel; they go well with shorter skirts and flat-front pants. High-waisted briefs eliminate a line at the waist. A waist cincher is a modern-day corset that creates a classic hour-glass figure. Some camisoles have built-in bras for a flawless appearance under form-fitting tops. Once regarded as a necessity, the slip fell out of favor over the years. It appears to be making a comeback, though not always as an undergarment. Many celebrities have been photographed wearing the “slip dress,” a throwback to the glamour of the 1950s. Think Elizabeth Taylor in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” (or, for our younger readers, Scarlett Johansson reprising that role on Broadway in 2013). Slips definitely serve a purpose! If you’re outside wearing a sheer skirt, you don’t want to show off your underwear. In addition to providing modesty, slips help smooth lines of clingy fabric and protect skin from scratchy, unlined fabric. Many full slips have built-in bras, eliminating the need for separate pieces. Give it a try, ladies. After all, who among us wouldn’t like to picture herself as Elizabeth Taylor or Scarlett Johansson? Last, but not least, there’s hosiery. Those with darker skin tones can more often get away with bare legs, but those of us who need sunglasses to deflect the glare from our pasty legs can find a solution with hosiery. We can thank Kate Middleton for bringing pantyhose back. The Duchess wears hose that match her skin tone and make her legs look beautifully airbrushed. Hosiery can add color, but it also minimizes skin flaws and shapes the legs. Control-top hose flatten the tummy, and colorful tights provide warmth in cooler climates. Patterns and textures add sass and flair. When you’re selecting the perfect outfit, don’t forget to build from a solid foundation. Remember: Sexy isn’t a shape; it’s an attitude! Sources for this article included: herroom.com, puddinglingerie.com, and parfaitlingerie.com. WE

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Income Outcome

Remember To Say “Thank You” Count Your Blessings

By Janet Van deWalle

“The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain.” —Ronald Firbanh Some people are undaunted by that concept and simply resolve it by complaining to everyone—and about everything. All of us have had an experience of dealing with someone who we describe as “having gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.” However, recently, I have had several encounters with a person who seems to have gotten up on the wrong side of life! My goodness, he puts every other complainer to shame. I thought it might be a blessing for all of us who had to be involved with this person. He seemed completely unable to see how much he had to be grateful for, to appreciate, to enjoy. He didn’t really have anything substantial to offer with his whining. His life sounded pretty average, which in this country is way above average.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” —M. Kathleen Casey So, this poor fellow lives in his illusion of misery while all the time surrounded by abundance of opportunity. His life could be a joyous adventure rather than a miserable existence. He sees the worst in every situation and person. He sees a problem in every opportunity. “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” —Thornton Wilder That’s the secret to enjoying life—appreciate what you have in the moment. Who has time to complain? With all the countless things you have in your life to be thankful for, when do you have time to complain?

“If you break your neck, If you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.” —Robert Fulghum

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’” —William A. Ward

I think of him as…clueless. He couldn’t appreciate a single blessing in his experience, though he was surrounded by countless blessings.

This poor fellow is missing out on the best part of life—all of it! With a little gratitude, a little appreciation, a little “thank you,” all kinds of good things would be set into motion. WE

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My Christmas List What Santa Can’t Bring, I’ll Find for Myself In my opinion, “What do you want for Christmas?” is one of the most difficult questions to answer. Generally, if I want something, I get it for myself. In the past, I’ve suggested specific gifts, like a particular CD or a special book. I received neither. I’ve suggested spending time together, which worked well—we manage gatherings, large and small, a few times a year. This year, I’m taking a different approach. This year, I want to obtain some things for myself that surely won’t fit in Santa’s bag. I want to be resilient when faced with adversity…like my friend Ann. We’ve been friends for several years, but she just told me her story in the past few months. She’s had a challenging life. She came through everything from losing parents and raising her siblings to surviving an abusive spouse. She suffered severe injuries in an accident and has returned to nearly 100 percent health. I want to see the positive things in life rather than focusing on the negative…an attitude modeled by my mother. Mom grew up during the Great Depression. She and her siblings worked hard to help keep their family afloat. When asked how they managed, she’d simply reply, “It’s what everyone had to do.” She was widowed and raised three teenagers alone. “I don’t remember any of you being a problem,” she’d recall. “I just remember the good things.” Even as her eyesight faded and her hearing diminished, she remained positive. When asked to do something…go on a trip or take in some special family event…she was always game. “I

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don’t want to become a rusty gate,” she commented on her 100th birthday. I wish to manage my time better…like my friend Jacquie. If you want something done, she is the one to ask. “I like keeping busy,” she says. “It keeps me out of trouble.” Jacquie volunteers her time. She takes part in geriatric studies, maintaining that her “work” helps others. When asked how she spent her weekend, she’ll often reply, “Oh, I really didn’t do much…” and then give a modest list of the tasks she accomplished, the errands she ran, and the events she attended. My daughter is also organized, managing a full-time job while raising two teenage boys as a single mom. In her home office, she has a calendar and a white board to keep track of everything for everyone. They’re inspiring. My own attempt at this level of organization currently consists of sticky notes. With these models to follow and support from friends, I hope to attain a modicum of success. I know that everything is temporary…this, too, shall pass. I remind myself that there’s a positive side to everything, and I look for that silver lining. I look at my new calendar and review the list of things I need to accomplish. Santa, please bring more sticky notes. Editor’s Note: Marge has three children, two grandchildren, and numerous nieces and nephews. She holds advanced degrees in education. Her life’s mission is to teach everyone that kids are people, too. WE

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Interiors by Design

Create a Beautiful, Functional Home Partnering With an Interior Designer

By Robyn V. Powell

Whether you’re building a new home or considering changes to your existing home’s interior, one of the first questions you may have is: Should I hire an interior designer or an interior decorator? The two professions have some overlap, but there are some important differences. Deciding who you should hire depends mainly on the scope of your project. If you need help selecting paint colors or updating furnishings, a decorator is a good choice. If, however, your project requires structural changes such as removing a wall, adding windows and doors, or relocating plumbing or wiring, hiring an interior designer is your best bet. Interior design is a fine balance of art and science. Good designers have studied both disciplines and have a solid understanding of how to put it all together to create spaces that are aesthetically beautiful and functional. With formal training in spatial planning, interior designers have skills that encompass a wide range of expertise, from drawing up floor plans to finishing a space with decorative accents. Their education prepares designers to plan for structural changes and to coordinate with builders and architects. An experienced designer understands what needs to be done when and can anticipate potential obstacles. When you hire an interior designer, you get an immediate plan of action for your space. Designers are trained to manage communication with other professionals and will serve in the

key role of liaison on your project. Good communication is essential when it comes to designing lighting and furniture placement. For example, the optimum placement of electrical outlets will depend on where you want your furniture to sit, and these decisions need to be made ahead of construction. A designer knows who to talk with and exactly when such issues need to be addressed. Many people have concerns about the potential cost of working with an interior designer. Of course, hiring a designer will mean extra costs in your initial budget. However, you will likely save both money and time in the long run. Have you ever bought something in a showroom or online that you thought would be perfect for your space, only to discover it’s completely wrong after it’s in your home? Designers can help you avoid these costly mistakes, guiding you to make design decisions that will please you ›››

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and will enhance the value of your home. A good designer begins the process by listening—designers need to understand your sense of style and how you want your space to function. Once the concept is created, the designer will prepare a design board to display all your selections using photos and samples. One of the best reasons to work with a designer is the opportunity to visualize the final concept without having to purchase any items. By seeing everything in advance, from room layout to paint color, from furniture to fabrics and accessories, you can get an idea of how the space will really look. This allows you to make changes to the look before making a single purchase. An experienced designer who works in the home improvement industry will have reliable connections to other professionals that you may need on your project, such as plumbers, electricians, or general contractors. Designers have access to a whole world of design products, including fabric and lighting, that are not available to the general public. Access to these resources means your home will have an original and curated appeal that reflects your unique personality and sense of style. An interior designer can bring a new perspective to your space, making it possible to change the way a room looks without having to make major purchases. After looking at what you already have with a fresh set of eyes, designers are expert at incorporating items by making suggestions such as refinishing floors or re-upholstering, rearranging, and repurposing items. Designers can transform your space simply by adding an accent wall or by updating lighting, textiles, or window treatments. A designer will source items within your budget, ensuring that you get the most value for the amount spent, and will place orders and arrange deliveries. Don’t forget holiday decorating! That’s right—an interior designer can expertly take that task off your hands, too. For seasonal holidays or special occasions, an interior designer can create and install show-stopping decorations and table-scapes, taking all the worry and work out of your hands and freeing you to enjoy your time with family and guests. When considering interior designers to hire, ask to see samples of their work and be sure to check their references. Designers who are members of the American Society of Interior Designers (ASID) have met a minimum standard of education and work experience. Sources for this article included: asid.org, dsasociety.org, and cidq.org. WE

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View from the Top

Heafey, Hoffmann, Dworak, and Cutler Where Clients Come First

By Jackie Byers

A family-owned business that’s been running for over 130 years obviously knows how to treat its clients. Heafey, Hoffmann, Dworak, and Cutler Mortuaries and Crematory was established in 1881 and continues to be Omaha’s premier funeral home—actually, it’s a family of funeral homes. The main location is at 7805 West Center Road. Other chapels include Dworak Chapel at 2466 South 16th Street, Bellevue Memorial Chapel at 2202 Hancock, Korisko-Larkin-Staskiewicz at 5108 F Street, and CutlerO’Neill-Meyer-Woodring Funeral Homes and Crematory at 545 Willow Avenue, in Council Bluffs. “Many in our business have been sold to major corporations,” notes Jeff Meuret, who has been a counselor with the firm for 30 years. “We choose to remain family-owned and active in many community activities. Our foremost concern is to provide a supportive environment for those who are grieving by focusing on whatever their needs are.” To best meet the needs of their clients, the chapels offer flexible seating arrangements, including fixed pews and movable seating. “Sky walls, located in two of the larger chapels, swiftly and silently divide the spaces by lowering from the ceiling electronically,” Jeff explains. “These walls are thicker and sound-proof. With the two chapels divided and with our community room, we have six flexible spaces to accommodate groups of different sizes and with different wishes.” The community room is sometimes used by local service groups for special gatherings. Though the funeral home does not prepare food, they can assist with planning and can host catered food. “Every room, including the planning room, offers a 21st-century necessity: televisions. These allow for the showing of memory videos and photographs during visitation and gathering time,” Jeff notes. “Services can be video recorded and made available on our website; we will post the video on Facebook at the client’s request.” Friends and family who are unable to attend the service can view a live webcast or can view a recording of the service at a later time. The new building at 7805 West Center has many features that are designed for the support and comfort of families. “The lobby in the new facility is larger and cuts down on congestion when several services are happening simultaneously,” Jeff shares. “The new design takes memory stations and registries inside each chapel, further eliminating crowding.” Jeff points out the tinted sidewalks along the front of the building. “These are heated,” he says. “When the outside temperature falls below 38 degrees, these walks prevent ice from forming.” This helps provide safe passage into our facility. “The covered portico has been expanded so that drivers can pick up and drop off passengers in inclement

December 2018

weather. The garage where the vehicle fleet is kept is accessible without mourners having to step outside,” Jeff continues. “The building behind the back portico holds our new secure crematory. Beyond that are garages that provide additional storage.” In case you hadn’t heard: Heafey, Hoffmann, Dworak, and Cutler celebrated their new building’s first anniversary in October because a devastating fire destroyed their old building on January 26, 2016. Newspaper stories at the time reported that Bill Cutler and a fireman entered the burning building to retrieve remains out of respect for the dead and their families. Though both Bill and the fireman were injured, they were able to accomplish their mission before the rest of the building was surrendered. Both men recovered. “An unfortunate part of the physical loss was the irreplaceable Tiffany stained glass that turned to rubble from the heat,” Jeff recalls. “Even though the walls remained upright, the falling roof finished the building. We razed the walls and redesigned.” Then, he says, serendipity took over. “During the rebuilding process, we received a call from a local business contact who was considering relocating a large stained glass on display and asked if we would be interested in it. It was an incredible find, so we purchased it, added back-lighting, and framed it in dark wood. It’s very close in coloring and general design to what we lost.” Now, when you enter the lobby of the new building, that beautiful glass piece is front and center. It’s a wonderful reminder of how a gesture of support and respect can make all the difference during a difficult time—and that’s just what the family strives to do every day at Heafey, Hoffmann, Dworak, and Cutler. When you face the need, turn to Heafey, Hoffmann, Dworak, and Cutler for complete guidance and comfort. You can find the family online at heafeyheafey.com. To reach them by phone, you can call the chapel you need directly: West Center Chapel (402-391-3900), Dworak Chapel (402-346-1144), Bellevue Memorial Chapel (402291-5000), Korisko-Larkin-Staskiewicz (402-731-1234), or Cutler-O’Neill-Meyer-Woodring Funeral Homes and Crematory (712-322-7779). WE

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Home Works

’Tis the Season for Gift Lists Great Gift Ideas for the Home

By Anne Yankus

It’s that time of year again—the time when you realize just how many of your friends and relatives are hard to shop for! We understand; we have shopping lists, too! We’ve assembled here for you a great list of gifts and ideas for all those people on your list who seem to already have everything. Home accessories can be great gifts for any adult on your list. Consider personalized artwork, unique candle lanterns or holders, wall calendars, artsy throw pillows (or pillowcases, for changing styles), bookends (ones made of natural stones can be especially beautiful), or fancy photo frames. For a personal and thoughtful touch, choose home accessories that match the style and color palette of your recipient’s home. This attention to detail shows that you care. For families that have kiddos still living at home, accessories and artwork may not be your best bet. Rather than getting a gift that only half the family will enjoy, why not get some fun games that everyone can share? The selection of board and card games has never been better! What started with Apples to Apples and exploded with the more “mature” Cards Against Humanity has really boomed into a huge market of card games that rely on the players’ humor and creativity. (This genre of card games ranges from safe and fun for all ages to most definitely adults-only, so be sure to check the maturity rating on whatever games you’re considering.)

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If you’re a little unsure about these newer games, it’s hard to go wrong with classics like Twister or Monopoly (which now has an edition for just about anything anyone is a fan of). These are especially great choices for newer families that may not have their own copy yet. If you’re willing to spend a little extra for a family that has the room in their home, you can consider larger items like video game consoles, foosball or air hockey tables, and electronic dartboards. For the chef in your life, consider a nice kitchen appliance. Traditionally useful items like slow cookers, pressure cookers, blenders, food processors, and coffeemakers are all wonderfully mechanized and digitized now, so a new model might be appreciated. A number of niche items crop up during the holidays and can be quite convenient. Ice cream makers, waffle irons, fryers, electric kettles, knife sharpeners, ›››

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water carbonators, and vacuum sealers aren’t the most essential kitchen appliances, but they can get a lot of use nonetheless. We all have friends who would rather be outside on an adventure than spending time at home. For the outdoorsmen and women in your life, there are lots of cool gadgets and equipment they might appreciate as a holiday gift. From something as simple as a warm jacket or nice hiking boots to multi-tools, camp cookware, and propane stoves, there’s always something a camping enthusiast might need (or might need to have replaced). Camping tents come in all sizes and can be great gifts for families who may be outgrowing their old tents. Subscription boxes are now the goto gift that keeps on giving. These can generally be purchased in increments of three to 12 months and will be shipped directly to the recipient’s home. Each subscription box is unique, and there are many different kinds of boxes to choose from: wine bottles, video gaming, flower bouquets, candies, makeup, beers, cooking ingredients, a murder mystery in a box…if you can dream it, someone has boxed it and made it into a subscription! With so many boxes out there, it’s easy to find one for everyone. For the people on your list who seem to find possessions to be a burden, you may want to consider giving them an experience as a gift. Memberships to zoos or museums, a lesson on how to do something new like snorkeling or horseback riding, or maybe a fun activity like an escape room experience or a meal at a restaurant they’ve never tried can all be great gift ideas. For loved ones who most enjoy maintaining the beauty of their own homes, consider a certificate for an interior decorating service or a maid service. (Make sure that you’re giving that last one to someone who won’t get the wrong message!) We have hopefully given you some gift ideas that have gotten you excited about tackling your shopping list this holiday season. Don’t shy away from that gift list! Get started now. After all, the best gift you can give yourself at the holidays is getting your shopping done early! Sources for this article included: dodoburd. com, hgtv.com, thekitchn.com, businessinsider. com, and travelandleisure.com. WE

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December 2018

To Your Good Health

Brain Mapping A New View of How Brains Work

By Marge Shoemaker

Our brain acts as the headquarters for nearly everything in our bodies. It’s in charge of getting messages to the appropriate organs, and it controls both automatic responses and voluntary actions. When something in the brain is not working correctly, a neurotherapist must locate the problem without causing damage to any other part of the brain. Through brain mapping, the neurosurgeon has a path to follow when operating on the brain. Several imaging tools are used in creating brain cartography. Structural abnormalities are shown through computed tomography, also known as CT scans (essentially, x-rays taken from many angles and combined). Diffusion tensor imaging (DTI) supplies images of neurons connecting brain regions by following fluid movement in the brain. Positron emission tomography (PET) provides images using radioactive markers in the brain. Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) uses the fluid in the brain to create high-resolution images. An fMRI requires the subject to perform functions or tasks while the resulting brain activity is recorded. The brain’s reaction to drugs is indicated by a phMRI. Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) can trigger certain behaviors in the part of the brain being studied. An electroencephalogram (EEG) indicates electrically active locations through detectors either implanted in the brain or worn on a cap. The qEEG enables a quantitatively based interpretation of EEG results. Extended analysis and interpretation, of special interest to the neu-

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rotherapist, compares the brain function under study to conventional brain wave function, allowing the analyst to find differences in patterns corresponding to other diagnoses or cognitive defects. Other methods allow scientists to see connections between neurons, resulting in diagrams similar to the wiring diagram of an electrical circuit. The Brainbow technique labels every neuron in a living brain in a different color, allowing researchers to see how neurons connect and how these connections are changed by age or illness. The ATLUM technique is similar to paring an apple (not a live brain procedure!). The brain is shaved in a spiral cut while rotated on a lathe. An electron microscope reads the resulting “tape,” producing an image that essentially reveals the complete structure of the brain’s wiring. Simply put, brain mapping allows researchers, surgeons, and therapists to see the whole picture. By knowing how brain cells are communicating, researchers can devise a treatment plan suited to the brain’s individual needs. This may be of use to students with ADD, ADHD, and other learning disabilities. Doctors and surgeons can isolate damaged areas for safer surgery. It’s possible to diagnose neurodegenerative diseases, such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s,

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by noting changes in brain chemistry using PET or MRI to examine tissue shrinkage or loss. Studies of developmental disorders such as autism and dyslexia may indicate what happens in the brain to cause such afflictions. Other study opportunities include mental illness. Study of the brain during such things as panic attacks, bipolar cycles, depressive episodes, or eating disorder phases may help doctors treat the causes, rather than the symptoms, of mental illness. The more knowledge gained, the closer science is to finding a cure—or at least to providing better treatment. In a field called neuro-informatics, software is being developed to facilitate searching, sharing, and comparing this type of information online. Researchers are able to plug into current information before beginning their studies. Brain atlases have been compiled in several forms. Databases are available. Standards or norms can be defined with research on large enough populations. It sounds exciting to learn so much detail about how brains work, and it is! However, caveats are necessary. It’s important to keep in mind that one size does not fit all. As in any medical specialty, norms can be extrapolated from large populations, but no brain is identical to any other. We also run into the same difficulty that we have with mapping the globe—brains are not flat, and two-dimensional representations of them should be viewed critically to avoid adversely influencing their use. Lastly, sharing and building on the results of brain mapping is relatively easy and useful. Still, we must be wary of how and by whom the information is being used. Brain mapping exercises and analyses should only be conducted by qualified individuals. Check for certifications from the Society for Advancement of Brain Analysis or the American Neurotherapy Association. Extensive experience with a wide range of the population is necessary. A related function of brain mapping is known as mind mapping. This activity can be an excellent study aid. The student is taught to find connections in the information to be learned and then sketch a visual representation. Simple, colorful pictures are often more memorable than linguistic diagrams. That’s a map of your mind that you can make at home! Sources for this article included: qeegsupport.com, quora.com, brainworksneurotherapy. com, theconversation.com, and uwmedicine.org. WE

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December 2018

An Inside Look

Parenting Troubles? You’re Not Alone By Marge Shoemaker

At the top of Jack Dross’s ad in this magazine is the following quote: “Raising kids went exactly the way I planned.”—Nobody Ever. If you’re ready to tear out your hair wondering how to handle your kids or family, you might want to give Jack a call. Jack is a licensed mental health practitioner (LMHP) who primarily sees children aged seven years through adolescence, along with their parents. He also sees adults and has training in collaborative divorce. Jack’s career evolved into family counseling through trial and error. After earning a degree in elementary education, he worked as a substitute teacher, supplementing his income by waiting tables. Ultimately, he went on to attain a master’s degree in guidance and counseling. He worked for a number of years with several local institutions, including Boys Town and Methodist Richard Young Center before deciding to branch out to private practice in 2002. His reasoning? Institutions, by nature, require limits and guidelines so that all their employees meet their mission. “Working in an institution was too limiting to me personally,” Jack notes. “I wanted to make more decisions about my practice…to choose techniques, methods, materials, and attitudes that suited me.” Jack likes working with individuals, helping them accept their current situation without being judgmental. He considers his office a “safe place” and maintains confidentiality for all his patients. Jack is a certified Love and Logic parenting trainer. The Love and Logic approach to parenting includes holding children accountable for their actions and decisions. He outlines the three basic approaches to parenting: the Helicopter Parent, the Drill Sergeant, and the Consultant/ Coach/Mentor. The Helicopter Parent hovers over the child, trying to prevent any mishaps or mistakes. With this approach, the child is prevented from fully experiencing life. The Drill Sergeant gives orders and makes demands. This approach denies the child the right to make decisions, inadvertently teaching children to not think for themselves. The Consultant/Coach/Mentor tries to be the benevolent leader/voice of conscience for the child. Inconsistencies in one’s parenting style can be confusing for children and may result in a parent losing credibility in the child’s eyes. Jack explains that children need to learn early in life to make their own decisions and accept the consequences of those decisions. Parents should provide guidance and instruction without being judgmental, gradually allowing the child more independence. When a child makes a bad decision, the parent needs to make clear that it was the decision, not the child, that was bad. Parenting includes helping our children handle discipline and learn proper responses when problems arise. “Learning how to handle failure early, when the price tag is low, will make kids

December 2018

stronger in the long run,” Jack advises. “Each time they adapt to a situation, they’re given another tool to use when dealing with life’s adversities.” Jack Dross, MS, LMHP Jack believes that dealing with technology is one of the biggest challenges experienced by modern parents. Parents are competing with social media, television, iPads, computers, YouTube, and cell phones. They have little control over where, when, and how their children obtain knowledge and develop attitudes. Jack maintains that technology can be both a positive and a negative influence on children of all ages and their families. Technology, in some cases, has contributed to parental alienation. Some parents have become disengaged and detached from their children. “Look around at different groups and gatherings,” he suggests. “Are people—kids and parents alike—engaging with each other, or are they mostly involved with their phones?” Jack explains that societal pressure to maintain jampacked, tight schedules also makes parenting difficult. A child’s day often involves going to daycare, then to school, then back to daycare until a parent arrives. Once home, Mom and Dad are preparing the evening meal, trying to relax after a busy day, and getting ready for tomorrow. The kids usually attend to their homework, eat, and go to bed. Weekends are full of scheduled activities that won’t fit into the weeknight schedule. There’s nothing inherently wrong with scheduled activities, but when your family’s schedule is preventing you from spending any real time together, it becomes a problem. Jack’s advice to all parents: Spend time with your kids. Talk with them, not at them. Really listen. Set limits on electronics, like banning phones at the dinner table or establishing phone-free Friday. This might be challenging for parents, too, but it’s good for everyone. Jack feels gratitude when he gets calls from previous clients he worked with when they were children, who are now parents themselves and are asking him to work with their kids. Don’t wait for family problems to go away—they’ll only get larger. Instead, let Jack Dross help you find the solutions your family needs. Jack’s office is located in Omaha, at 8031 West Center Road, Suite 302 (there’s a building entrance on that level). He can be reached by phone at 402-334-6869, and you can find him online at jackdross.com. WE

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December 2018

Focus on Finance

The Mutual Fund Alphabet Which Share Class Is Right for You? By George Morgan

According to the Oracle of Omaha, Warren Buffett, the key to investment success is to reduce the fees you pay to have your money managed. Do you have any of your 401(k) dollars invested in mutual funds? Do you know how much you are paying for those mutual funds? All mutual funds charge some form of a fee, and these fees run from as little as 0.04 percent to as much as 2.5 percent. This “maintenance fee” pays for the expenses of the fund company, such as accounting, advertising, printing and mailing statements, and the salaries of the money professionals who run the portfolios. Depending on which share class you buy (and where you buy), it can also pay the broker a significant amount of money for selling to you. It’s important to know how much you’re paying in fees, but it’s also vital to know what you’re getting in return. You are probably most familiar with actively managed mutual funds, which come in three basic classes: A shares, B shares, and C shares. The differences between these classes are the amount of fees they charge, the timing of the fees, and, in some cases, the person to whom the fee is paid. Shareholders of a specific fund all get the same services and money management; the differences in the fees they pay depend upon the share type they own. Because the fees you pay decrease the amount of your investment return, it is important to pick the share class that is appropriate for you. A shares charge a one-time, up-front commission. Mutual funds became popular in the mid-1980s, and A shares were the only shares available at that time. In the 1980s, most A shares charged an up-front 8.5 percent, most of which was paid to the broker. Over time, that number has come under pressure—now, the average is about half that, at 3.5 to 4 percent. A shares have what is known as a right of accumulation (ROA). As the dollar amount of your account grows, it will hit an ROA breakpoint. Any additional dollars you add to the account after that are subject to a lower up-front fee. B shares require a back-ended or deferred sales charge. The advantage of B shares over A shares is that the full value of the money you pay up front immediately goes to work for you. The disadvantage is that if you own the fund for a long period of time, the total amount of fees you pay can be greater than those of A shares. After a predetermined amount of time, B shares can be converted to A shares, to eliminate paying the continuous back-loaded fee. C shares are similar to B shares in that they have a back-loaded fee, but the fee is lower. C shares are best for people who don’t intend to own the mutual fund for an extended period of time. The drawback to C shares is that they cannot be converted to A shares. To add further complexity (and also to get paid more), Wall Street has one more additional fee called

December 2018

a 12b-1 fee. A 12b-1 fee is an ongoing fee that is taken from your account for as long as you own the fund. This fee ranges anywhere from 0.25 percent of the value of your account to a full 1 percent of your account balance. So, if you have a 401(k) account to which you and your employer are adding on a regular basis, the 12b-1 fee you pay goes up over time, but you get nothing in return. The 12b-1 fees are over and above any fees paid by the A, B, or C shares. The recipient of the 12b-1 fees varies from situation to situation. If you purchase mutual funds through a full-service broker, those funds go to the brokerage firm and to the individual broker assigned to your account. The assumption is that the broker will provide you with ongoing investment advice for as long as you own the fund. If you have not spoken to your broker for several years, which is not out of the question, you are paying an increasing amount for nothing. Currently, there are individuals and institutions that are part of what I call the New Wall Street, who are working to bring down the cost of managing money so Americans can pay lower fees to have their money managed. Experts predict that, 10 years from now, investors will be paying a full percentage point less in fees than they are today. Editor’s Note: Professor Morgan has over 40 years’ experience in the investment field, both as a university professor and as a financial advisor. He currently serves on the faculty at the University of Nebraska at Omaha, where he directs a program designed to educate 401(k) plan participants on how to improve their investment strategy. The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. To determine which investments may be appropriate for you, consult your financial advisor prior to investing. WE

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Our afternoon dance party As a mom, we know your family is why. Why you work so hard to make healthy choices every day so you can experience more of life’s precious moments together. We’ve got your back; to make sure more of those moments happen. But we can’t do it without you. While you’re serving more fruits and veggies at home, we’re impacting laws that help shape healthier communities — and it doesn’t stop there. You see, together we can make an extraordinary impact. Because when moms unite, real change happens.

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December 2018

Seasons of Life

Deck the Halls and Hang the Stockings Holiday Gifts for Grandparents

By Elizabeth French

Each holiday season brings a new opportunity to express ourselves through thoughtful gift-giving. Let’s make this a year to remember! Now, what to do about the grandparents on your list? They’ve been giving amazing gifts for years, but they already know they’re the best ever, so they hardly need any more “#1 Nana” or “#1 Papa” mugs. Here are some of the keys to great gift-giving for grandparents this holiday season. Grandparents can be so loving and kind that they sometimes forget to treat themselves with the same care they lavish on their grandkids. This year, why not treat the grandparents to something they would never think to do for themselves? Special services like professional cleaning, home or yard care, or even a day at the spa are luxuries many seniors forget to give themselves. Take this opportunity to pamper them! If grandparents live far away, plane tickets for a visit are the perfect gift to ease the pang of missing family. If something more tangible is needed for the gift exchange, put together a luxurious gift basket of all their favorite goodies: cocktail snacks, movie gift cards, plush cozy socks, or perhaps a planter for an indoor garden.

Grandparents love anything that reminds them of family, so a gift that brings back fond memories will be a good bet. Personalized jewelry is often appreciated, whether it’s through purchasing personalized charms or hand-beading a one-ofa-kind bracelet that Grandma will cherish forever. If Grandpa is a stickler for being on time, perhaps a new watch with a personalized message engraved is just the ticket! Some grandparents love spending time in the kitchen, cooking up delicious goodies. Try a dish towel or other kitchen staple printed with Grandma’s apple pie recipe, in her own handwriting! This shows your appreciation for her cooking, preserves her scrawling cursive, and increases the chances of passing down a cherished family recipe. (Plus, it’s practical!) For

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a twist on the traditional kitchen gadget, an indoor herb planter keeps fresh basil, parsley, mint, and other seasonings at arm’s length all year! Warming your family’s hearts with love and kindness is the key to keeping cozy during the warm winter months. Rather than giving a traditional gift, why not skip the box this year and head straight toward a can’t-miss family vacation? If you already took the vacation together, choose your favorite photo from the experience and make it into an activity the whole family can enjoy: a personalized photo puzzle! A family photo calendar is a great way to remind grandparents that they are in our hearts all year. If you have a flatbed scanner, you could offer to digitize their old family photos and then use them to put together a history of the family. For grandparents who are tech-savvy, a digital photo frame might be a better choice. Some models can now connect directly to sites like Facebook and Instagram so that new photos can be easily uploaded whenever they choose. For homebound grandparents, a subscription box might be a particularly fun choice, since the items are delivered right to their door on a regular basis. Subscription boxes are so varied, from wine to food to makeup to clothing to art projects, that there’s sure to be something to interest the grandparents on your list. It’s natural to wonder about our own heritage and ancestry, particularly as we get older. Why not satisfy Grandpa’s curiosity and gift him DNA testing this Christmas? He’ll find out exactly where his ancestors came from, and you may even discover new relatives that are still alive today! If grandparents love reading but don’t have the best vision anymore, audio books could be a great solution. You can purchase single audio books or buy them a membership to a service like Audible. Of course, if it’s their hearing, not their vision, that has diminished, print books are the way to go. One inexpensive and heartfelt way to tell Nana and Pop just how much you love them is to do just that—buy a special book and write down all the things you love most about them (and have the kids do the same). While grandparents come in all ages and with all kinds of interests, the one thing they all seem to want is more time with family. Planning a family gathering may be the best gift you can give this holiday season. Sources for this article included: techcrunch.com, popsugar.com, and travelandleisure.com. WE

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IM Hebrank Psychotherapy,LLC Depression is sometimes a causal factor for fatigue or low energy. Other combined symptoms which may be indicators of depression are sadness, tearfulness, feelings of hopelessness, and limited interest in activities which normally are enjoyable. Higher levels of depression can bring on suicidal thoughts or thoughts of dying. If you or a loved one is struggling with depression, help is available now with Ida-Marie Hebrank, LICSW, LADC, specializing in treating mental health to include depression, anxiety and substance use disorders. Call 402-541-9698 today to schedule an appointment. Caring Senior Service At Caring Senior Service, we take your quality of life to heart! You deserve to maintain the safe and independent lifestyle you have worked so hard for, and our caregivers are your solution! We provide quality care, as well as active involvement, to support you in your home rather than in a nursing home. How do we do this? You are our #1 priority! We are committed to showing compassion and kindness to earn your trust, which is crucial to your satisfaction and to our continued success. Call 402-682-7326 for a FREE IN-HOME consultation. The National Breast Cancer Foundation You can empower women facing breast cancer. The National Breast Cancer

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Cherish You Boutique Cancer affects us all and with the diagnosis come choices. We can choose to give in or to fight with all we have. When you choose the latter, your weapon to win the fight is a positive attitude, faith, hope, love, and healing. A diagnosis of cancer affects so many people and sometimes just doing something—even the simple act of wearing an awareness ribbon—can mean so much to those who are fighting for their lives. Stop by Cherish You Boutique at 14445 F Street in Omaha. For more information, call today at 402-212-3858. Estate Planning Law Group At the Estate Planning Law Group of Blazek and Gregg, our motto is “Better Planning Made Easy.” We are a unique law firm designed and operated to give clients a better planning experience, and better results, than traditional estate planning. We start with understanding you and your planning goals. Any estate plan will transfer assets at death. Better planning goes beyond the transfer and protects property in the hands of your loved ones. Let us show you how to protect the inheritance you give your loved ones. Let’s work together to make sure your plan works for you! Call our office for a free initial consultation at 402-496-3432. We are located at 11580 West Dodge Road, in Omaha. Visit our website at www.blazekandgregg.com. Be A Mentor Few bonds in life are more influential than those between a young person and an adult. As you begin your journey toward becoming a mentor, you will need to thoroughly understand the basics of mentoring before entering into a relationship with a young person. Mentors understand the need to assume a number of different roles during the course of a mentoring relationship, but successful mentors also share the same basic qualities: a sincere desire to be involved with a young person, respect for young people, the ability to listen actively and empathize, the vision to see solutions and opportunities, and a sense of flexibility and openness. Visit mentoring.org for additional information.

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December 2018

Peak Performance

It’s Date Night!

Helping Busy Couples Reconnect

By Leslie Byrne

If you think date night is just one more activity to fit on the calendar, think again. Many marriage counselors consider a regular date night a key element of a happy and fulfilling relationship. It strengthens emotional connectedness and improves communication, and it may bring back a spark that couples thought had died out. Viewing date nights as an essential part of your relationship, not as a luxury, is often the first step toward making date night a reality. To start, talk to your partner and commit to date night. Determine how often you should have date night. Whether it’s once a week, once a month, or once a quarter, put it on the calendar so it really happens! Buy tickets in advance, make reservations, and plan ahead to help yourselves commit to the event. Understand that date night is something that will grow and change, just like your relationship. What’s great about it is that it can be whatever you want it to be. The important thing is making that decision together. Doing fun but familiar things on date night will help you make it a part of your routine. You can’t go wrong with many of the traditional date night activities, like dinner and drinks, seeing a show at a comedy club, or attending a concert. If you like being

active, try going skating (ice or roller), bowling, or dancing. If sports are your thing, go to a game. For a more adventurous date, try an evening at a karaoke lounge or an escape room experience. Don’t be afraid to branch out! You may discover new shared interests. Foodie couples could try a different restaurant every date night. Try ethnic foods you don’t normally eat. Try a couples cooking class at one of the cooking retail stores. This a great way to spend time together and learn how to cook something new. If you need to stay at home, try a food delivery service and cook a special meal together. Date nights abound for wine and beer lovers. Find a local Italian restaurant that has wine tasting events. They often bring

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December 2018

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in experts from Italy to give customers an opportunity to enjoy and learn about fine Italian wine. (Maybe it will motivate you to take that trip to Italy you always talk about!) If beer or whiskey are more to your liking, a brewery tour or a whiskey tasting event can make for a fun date night. If you’re already going out for drinks, why not check out trivia night at a local bar? If you and your partner loved going to big concerts when you were dating, why stop now? Most cities host plenty of big name performers and music festivals. Many bars have live music, if a smaller venue sounds more fun. Classical music is also in abundance, whether it’s a symphony in a concert hall or a student group performing at a local college. Art lovers can stop by a local art gallery to see the latest collection or try a small gallery that features up-and-coming artists. Check out the art shows at local universities to support student artists and to see something new. Plan a date night around a local art festival. If you enjoy physical activities, try zip lining, paintball, laser tag, arcade games, or indoor rock climbing as a couple. Seek out local nature trails and parks to hike and bike. A day at the zoo or an amusement park is not just for kids! If you both love roller coasters, make it a date! Don’t let budget constraints stop you and your partner from having date night. Cooking at home, volunteering, stargazing, coffee shop loitering—all of these can be a lot of fun when done together. Is it snowy outside? How long has it been since you’ve been night sledding? If you must stay home, make sure life’s distractions don’t interfere with your date. Turn off your phones and send the kids to Grandma’s (or at least put them to bed). If you don’t already have a regular babysitter, ask at your child’s daycare center if any of the employees do babysitting on the side. Organizations like YMCAs may offer a “parents’ night out” where your kids can have fun while you go out. Consider trading child care with friends who also have small children—watch their kids one night a month, and they’ll do the same for you. Get date night on your schedule by doing something you know you enjoy, but make it a goal to try something new every once in a while. You may find that you have more shared interests than you thought. Sources for this article included: psychologytoday.com, couplestherapyinc.com, and thenest.com. WE

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December 2018

Auto Wise

Avoid Used Car Mistakes How to Buy Pre-owned With Confidence By Brennan Hallock

Few items decrease in value as quickly as a brand-new vehicle. This means you should always buy a preowned vehicle, right? Actually, there is no simple answer. Buying pre-owned can have advantages—if it’s done right. The most obvious benefit of buying pre-owned is the price tag. The original owner absorbed the cost depreciation that normally takes place in the first couple of years. This allows you to spend less on the model you want or buy one that would otherwise have been out of your reach. (Some vehicles do hold their value. If you have your eye on one of those, buying pre-owned will not save you much money.) The second major benefit of buying pre-owned is that used vehicles have been on the market for some time, meaning that most of the model’s defects and design flaws have already been identified. With some online research, you can find out how the model stacks up against others. The biggest challenge of buying pre-owned is that you may take on someone else’s problems. If the vehicle was poorly maintained, it won’t matter how good the model is. This can feel like a roll of the dice, because you will probably not purchase a vehicle from an owner you know. The key is to be able to make an informed decision. There are some ways to mitigate risk. First, you can purchase a vehicle history report. CARFAX is the most popular and probably

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December 2018

the most thorough. It will include auto accidents or title issues as well as maintenance reports. While this service isn’t free, the cost is negligible compared to a major repair. Another method of insurance against a poor purchase decision is a pre-purchase inspection. Ask your own trusted mechanic to look over the vehicle and identify any significant issues. This may also reveal evidence of accident, fire, or flood damage not on the vehicle history report. Certified pre-owned cars are fairly new vehicles with low mileage sold by one of the brand’s dealerships. These cars have not been in any major accidents and have been inspected and tested by the dealer. They are nearly new vehicles, but at a lower price. Certified pre-owned cars also come with manufacturer’s warranties and financing. Extended warranties vary in cost and coverage. When you’re considering an extended warranty, you

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should always find out what’s covered, how long it’s covered for, and whether the warranty can be canceled. Show up to any car sale with a list of questions to guide your decision. First, ask the seller if the title is clean (no liens or other issues). Next, ask the seller for a vehicle report. You can access the vehicle report without going through the seller, but this can give you a good idea of the seller’s honesty. If the seller says the vehicle has never been in an accident, but the vehicle report says it was, you should move on. Ask what type of driving the vehicle was primarily used for. Has the vehicle been used mostly for commuting in town, highway driving, work-related driving, or something else? This can indicate how the car was treated, how carefully it was maintained, and how much wear and tear to expect. Last, you should ask if the vehicle has any fluid leaks. Depending on the age of the vehicle, this may or may not be a deal-breaker. If a 15-year-old car occasionally drips oil, it’s likely a minor problem. If a 3-year-old car is leaking fluids, it may be a sign of something serious. All sellers, public or private, are required by law to disclose if the vehicle has been salvaged, damaged in a flood, or rebuilt.

Dealers, however, must also adhere to what are known as “Lemon Laws.” These vary by state but require the dealer to disclose major defects that impair the use and value of the vehicle. You can learn about your state’s laws at dmv.org/ automotive-law/lemon-law.php or by contacting your state’s attorney general. Buying from a rental company can be a good option. Reputable rental companies are diligent about maintenance and reporting and repairing damage. However, a rental vehicle has been driven by hundreds or even thousands of drivers, and there’s no way to know how each one treated the vehicle. Also, some rental companies have their own insurance, which means that some incidents may not be publicly reported and will, therefore, not show up on a vehicle history report. As with any large purchase, you have to do your homework when buying a pre-owned vehicle. Confirm the average value of the model on a site like Kelley Blue Book, pull a vehicle history report, and have your mechanic do an inspection. This will go a long way toward ensuring that you get a fair price for a solid vehicle. Sources for this article included: cars.usnews.com, edmunds.com, dmv.nebraska.gov, and dmv.org. WE

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December 2018

The Good Life

Family Playtime Let’s Get Serious About Having Fun!

By Holly Tierney-Bedord

All too often, busy families spend their rare moments of downtime mindlessly watching television instead of enjoying each other’s company. Days slip by, and we forget how important it is to play. If you want to create some family fun, try introducing some of these healthy, educational activities that will get everyone in your family engaged and excited. Exploring a corn maze, visiting a zoo, camping, or hiking are all great memory-makers. What better way to bond as a family than getting out in nature, breathing the fresh air, and getting stress-relieving, corestrengthening exercise? If there’s snow on the ground, you can’t beat sledding for a whole-family activity. Old-fashioned games like tag, hide-and-seek, and duck-duck-goose never go out of style. If you think your kids aren’t interested in games like these, try joining in. It may surprise you to discover that your kids do want to play these games…once the grownups are involved. A favorite activity of young children is creating and playing in “small worlds” like child-sized kitchens, forts, or treehouses. Children’s museums excel at creating these kinds of imagination-sparking environments, but these kid-centric worlds come in many forms that can be played at home, too. From building a Lego skyline to nurturing stuffed animals to writing and acting in a play, kids love to create new worlds that are easier to navigate than the real world. This kind of play is a powerful creative and problemsolving tool. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, playtime buffers toxic stress, builds child-parent relationships, and improves executive functioning. Kids who pretend-play may find it easier to solve problems, even into adulthood. Inevitably, children get labeled as sporty, artsy, musical, and so forth. Don’t let labels dictate what activities you introduce to your kids. Let them try activities that don’t necessarily fit with their supposed skill sets. Don’t put pressure on them or cast judgment. Kids who seem shy are often great at activities where they can prepare what to say in advance, like debate, acting, or singing. Poor spellers can be great writers. Teach your children to enjoy the process as much as the outcome. That attitude should extend to you, too! Don’t be afraid to set an example and do something that you don’t excel at, just for the fun of it. So what if you and your family visit an escape room and can’t find your way out? So what if you only make it halfway up the climbing wall at the gym? Let go of the notion that experiences have to turn out a certain way for them to be worthwhile. There are plenty of times in life when it’s imperative to succeed, but there are also plenty of times when it doesn’t matter. Making your family a judgmentfree fun zone helps children build trust in their parents’

December 2018

love for them. It shows them that they have your support, even if they don’t succeed. While most people know and accept that young children benefit from playing and spending quality time with their families, a 2012 Penn State study confirmed that this sort of bonding is just as important for teens. This study found that teens who spent more time with their fathers with others present had better social skills and that teens who spent more time alone with their fathers had higher self-esteem than teens who did not get as much one-on-one time with their dads. In other words, this quality time isn’t just about making memories—it improves self-confidence and social interaction. Does connecting with your teen sound impossible? Don’t worry; there are as many ways to connect with teens as there are teenagers. Take a road trip. Join a trivia league. Restore a car. Visit a museum or go to a concert. Go ice skating or to an arcade. Try flower arranging, pottery, or painting. Have some ideas in your back pocket, but let your teen make suggestions, too! You may be surprised by how much your teenagers have been wanting to share their interests with you. Don’t feel you have to leave the house or spend money to have family fun. Playing board games, cooking, or even working on home projects together are just a few of the endless ways to connect. Don’t underestimate the power of sharing, listening, and eye contact. The sooner you bring this kind of behavior into your family, the more readily your kids will accept it and enjoy it, but it’s never too late to start. Kids want to know you care. They want to have fun, to enjoy the carefree moments in life, and to know and be known by their families. Show your kids your fun side! Make some memories and try something new—together, as a family. Sources for this article included: aap.org, news.psu.edu, health.harvard.edu, and edweek.org. WE

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December 2018

Great Escapes

Maui

Hawaii’s Best Island By Jackie Williams

For some American travelers, Hawaii is one of the first major flights or vacations they take.You feel far away because you are in a completely different, tropical destination, unlike anything on the mainland, but you don’t need a passport! It’s captivating, it’s beautiful, and most people would love to go back. This month, I’m recommending Maui as the Hawaiian island of choice. Here are some ideas of what you can experience as a first-timer or a repeat visitor to the island. Bring your family along and experience island life on Maui! If you’ve never been to Maui before, the first things that may pop into your mind about the island are the beautiful beaches and clear, blue waters. You would be absolutely right! Beach holidays give travelers the opportunity to bask in the sun, beachcomb, picnic, swim, and surf the waves. If someone in your group enjoys windsurfing or kitesurfing, Maui is a prime destination. Want to try snorkeling for the first time? Head over to Molokini Island, where there is plenty of ocean life to see, from vibrant tropical fish to turtles to even whales! Whale-watching is huge on Maui, and it’s something you simply must try if you come during the right season (generally, December through May). Land activities include driving up to the famous

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(but dormant) volcano Haleakala. Check out the sunrise on Maui’s highest peak and then ride downhill by bike. A trip to Maui is not complete unless you have driven the road to Hana (a town on the eastern shore). Wear your bathing suit so you can stop along the way to hop into a swimming hole or under a waterfall—or two, or even three. I’ve heard the road to Hana described as “the only place where you will get sick of seeing waterfalls!” The drive is gorgeous and windy; the bamboo forests and views are scenic and breathtaking. Plan to spend the night in Hana so you don’t have to rush through your day. Don’t forget, there is also the traditional luau—an evening of dance, dinner, and entertainment that you won’t want to miss. Those who already have one trip to Hawaii under their belts may think they know what they want to do on their next visit. Some are all for just relaxing at a luxury resort, and Maui is certainly a great place to do that. ›››

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Imagine, though, that you’re describing your trip to others when you get back home. Do you want to say, “I just sat on the beach,” or do you want to describe a helicopter ride and farm tours, four-wheeling and mule-riding on a nearby island, or a magnificent golf holiday? How about some tasting at Maui Wines, where you can sample local pineapple wines? An enjoyable tour of the Ulupalakua Ranch will keep you stocked with a variety of vino for drinking during your trip or taking home as souvenirs. Take a drive over to Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm for a fragrant walking tour, a lavender treasure hunt, or a gourmet lunch. The sights and smells there are sure to make you feel relaxed. Upcoming seasonal events include Hui No’eau Holidays (November 19–December 24), with art and one-of-a-kind handmade gifts made by local artists and crafters; the PGA Tour 2019 Sentry Tournament of Champions (January 2–6); and the Maui Whale Festival (during the peak of humpback whale season, February 2–23). Ready for a round of golf? The Hyatt Regency Maui offers “The Perfect Round” promotion (through December 19) for guests, which includes a one-night stay for two people, two rounds of golf at nearby Ka’anapali Kai Golf Course, club rentals, and breakfast. Are the kids golfing, too? Then take advantage of the Wailea Golf Club, where junior golfers play for free after 3 p.m. (through December 19). When it’s time to just relax at the beach, you may find it hard to choose one. I asked family and friends who live on Maui what their favorites are. Kids will love Big Beach (Makena State Park), where they can skim-board; White Rock has tide pools to explore; Kamaole Beaches 1, 2, and 3 have calmer waters, great for swimming; and Chang’s Beach is more private. Afterwards, grab a bite or drink at Monkeypod, Cafe O’Lei, or Nalu’s South Shore Grill to end a perfect beach day. Whatever the case, return to experience more of why Maui is the best of Hawaii. With its beautiful beaches, tropical rainforests, green pastures, and steep rocky cliffs, there is plenty to explore. It will keep you coming back, year after year. Start a family vacation tradition to Maui. I can guarantee that those memories and experiences will be unforgettable and cherished by all. Aloha! Sources for this article included: gohawaii. com, mauifunexperts.com, and aliikulalavender.com. WE December 2018

Enterprising Ideas

Discover Autumn Pointe Assisted Living That Feels Like Home By Marge Shoemaker

Many seniors reach a time when they are no longer able to live independently. When that time comes, family members are often tasked with choosing the assisted living facility that will best meet their loved one’s immediate and future needs. There are so many to choose from, and they differ in so many ways—size, cost, location, security features, activities and services offered…it can be a real challenge to choose! Amy Wilcox-Burns understands. She is the operations officer for Dimensions in Senior Living. The business was established by Amy’s father about 35 years ago and is still owned, operated, and managed by the family. Over the past 30 years, Dimensions in Senior Living has helped design, develop, or convert several senior living communities in the Midwest. They currently provide management services for six such communities in Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, and Nebraska. Their first facility in the Omaha area is Autumn Pointe, which is located just north of Omaha, in Fort Calhoun. Autumn Pointe is a small facility, with 48 individual apartments for seniors who need extra help with daily activities. Each apartment has a basic kitchen, a walk-in closet, individual temperature control, and a private bath with a zero-entry shower and a whirlpool tub. Most are one-bedroom or studio apartments; some are available for double occupancy (for couples). Residents furnish their own apartments with cherished pieces from their former homes or with new purchases to start this new chapter of their lives. Each unit also has a small area outside the door that acts as a front porch. Each apartment, Amy notes, is as special, individual, and personal as the resident who lives there. Jenna Morris, RN, is the executive director at Autumn Pointe. “I’m new to Autumn Pointe,” she says, “but I’ve spent 22 years in nursing.” One of her first jobs was in a nursing home, where she learned that “geriatrics is a fascinating and fun area in which to work.” The staff and residents at Autumn Pointe have made it a community within a community, and the residents of Fort Calhoun have warmly welcomed their neighbors. Jenna reports that the local high school even routed their homecoming parade past Autumn Pointe and that many of the residents gathered in the yard to watch it pass by. Ariel, the activities director, has done her part to create a feeling of community at Autumn Pointe. Organized activities include things like potluck dinners, programs for veterans, church activities, and a walking club. Those who are more independent have

December 2018

participated in excursions to Joslyn Museum and other local attractions. Jenna and Amy are proud of the full agenda of painting classes, cooking demonstrations, woodworking classes, visits by church groups, and opportunities for group and individual exercise—there’s something for everyone. Four to eight different activities are available daily, and residents decide which activities they want to enjoy…and when they’d rather sit out. “We respect our residents’ moods and desires,” Amy explains. “Sometimes, they want a break, maybe to stay in their rooms or some other quiet place to read or rest. This helps them maintain their independence.” Resident choice is always encouraged. Though residents’ independence is valued, they are also supervised appropriately, just as you would do at home. “It’s important for families to know that their loved ones are being watched over in all areas,” Amy points out. “One of the main reasons that families start thinking about assisted living is that their loved ones are not taking their medications or are missing doses.” The family feel at Autumn Pointe is taken very seriously by the staff. “When Dad started this business, he knew he wanted the families to know that the staff would take care of folks the way we want our own parents taken care of,” Amy recalls. Many family members come to take their loved ones for an outing: to lunch, on a ride to see the changing seasons, or to a special family event. “Because we are small, we can be more personally engaged with our residents,” Jenna explains. Residents are able to get to know the staff members as well as the other residents. It’s part of what makes Autumn Pointe a community. Dennis H. was looking for a placement for his brother and sister-in-law, who were both unsure about making a change. “We were first attracted by the peaceful location,” he writes, “and then by the friendly people. Ultimately, it was a perfect fit. They are comfortable and at home.” Autumn Pointe is located at 501 North 13th Street, in Fort Calhoun. For more information, find them online at autumnpointene.com or call 402-465-4700. WE

Jenna Morris, RN, executive director

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December 2018

The Green Thumb

Playing Santa for a Gardener? Easy Gifts for Green Thumbs

By Sharon Knierim

We’re all rushing about now to find the perfect holiday gifts. If you’re like the rest of us, you have one person on your list who causes the most anxiety, who is hardest to shop for, who already has everything. Well, that person is never a gardener! There are so many choices for gardeners’ gifts, in fact, that narrowing down the options is the hard part. Whether your family member or friend is a seasoned gardener or new to the hobby, it is a fact that no gardener can possibly have too many tools, too many gardening books and magazines, or too many plants. The number one gift for many gardeners is a set of bypass shears. This is the tool that many of us are seen using throughout the growing season (and even afterwards). Gardeners love having more than one set of shears, as they wear out over time and are easy to misplace. If you choose to give bypass shears as a gift, include a roll of brightly colored tape to wrap around the handles. This way, the shears can be easily found if left in foliage. Your gardener will appreciate this thoughtful touch. Small gardening spades are also a good gift. Much like shears, they can be easily left behind in the garden. Again, gifting a roll of tape is a thoughtful idea. Nobody wants to lose their favorite

tools or spend extra time retracing their steps to find them. Rakes and hoes are always wonderful to receive (though difficult to wrap). Of course, there is no reason to wrap a rake or a hoe. Just stick a bow on it! That’s what Santa Claus would do. If planning to gift a rake or gardening hoe, be mindful of the tool’s quality, and be sure it is a tool that will fit your recipient’s needs. Of course, tools are not the only gifts for gardeners. Magazine subscriptions make wonderful gifts and last all year. They are especially useful during the long, cold winter, when the weather does not allow much outdoor activity. They let us dream and gather new ideas for the next planting season. Long winter evenings can

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be made much less dreary by curling up in front of a roaring fire, reading gardening magazines and dreaming about spring. Just like magazines, gardening books can be a real treasure. They can teach gardeners (experienced or beginners) a wide assortment of methods. They offer suggestions on landscaping schemes that can be incorporated into our own yards. You may think of gardeners as outdoorsy people, but most gardeners are also readers who possess a small library of gardening books to which they refer regularly. If you’re considering giving a plant as a gift, do a bit of research first and perhaps consult the gardener on your list about what type of plant is desirable. Because plants can be very particular, you’ll want to be careful in choosing the correct species. This is a chance to talk to the gardener to determine where the plant will go and what it needs for success. It is also an opportunity to learn a little about gardening yourself and to give your gardener perhaps the greatest gift of all—a conversation about gardening! You and Santa Claus might get your heads together and present tickets for a yard and garden show. These events are always memorable and full of ideas worth trying. Don’t forget the opportunity to present a gift card to your gardening friend. As we all are aware, gift cards allow the recipients to choose their own gifts and are often used during the time of big sales. That’s a double whammy! If money is short or you simply cannot make a gift decision, present a card pledging a certain amount of time helping with the garden clean-up after winter has had her way with it. This fellowship, as well as the help with chores, will be appreciated. Another option is to prepare homemade gardening aids. Homemade gifts range from transplant tonics to seedling strengthener and from compost booster to chamomile mildew chaser. Use a well-sealed bottle that has been thoroughly cleaned to hold the contents. If giving one of these homemade gifts, include the recipe, too. Have fun with this idea. It’s unique, and your green-thumbed friend will love it. With you and Santa working together on a gardener’s gift, you can’t go wrong. Happy shopping and happy gifting! Editor’s Note: Sharon Knierim has been a Master Gardener since 2003 through Iowa State University in Ames. She lives on a small farm in western Iowa and looks forward each month to sharing her passion for gardening with her green-thumbed reader friends. WE

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Cuddly Critters

Holiday Safety for Pets Keep Your Pets Happy and Healthy By Brie Christensen

Holidays are a time for relaxing and rejoicing in all of life’s greatest blessings. The last thing that should be in the back of any pet owner’s mind is the possibility of a pet emergency. Ensuring pet safety should be a top priority while selecting the perfect gift for your pet and making sure that your furry friends feel at ease and are out of danger during holiday celebrations. Keeping pets safe means keeping certain foods out of reach. Chocolate, garlic, grapes and raisins, onions, and many varieties of nuts are just some of the delicious foods that we like to enjoy during the holiday season but that have the potential to harm our furry friends. Make sure that open containers of these treats are placed on higher tables or buffets that curious noses can’t reach. Potentially poisonous plants, like mistletoe, balsam, pine, and cedar should also be kept out of pets’ reach. Candles and potpourri are off limits, too. We all love the festivity brought on by fanciful holiday decorations, but this is also an area that needs to be well-monitored. Like us, pets are easily intrigued by lights, trees, ornaments, and tinsel. A holiday tree, laden with twinkling lights and ornaments, can prove irresistible to a climbing cat. To avoid falls, consider tethering your tree to the ceiling or crown molding. This is easy to do with invisible wire that won’t disrupt the look of your decorations. If you’re hosting a holiday party, you have to be considerate of both your guests and your pets! It’s important to let visitors know ahead of time if animals will be around—they may have allergies or other health concerns. If your pets tend to get very excited when guests arrive, it may be better to keep them in an area away from the door. This will also help keep your pets from slipping out the open door. On the other hand, some animals can become extremely anxious when unfamiliar people come around for the holidays, and large crowds may cause stress that leads to negative behavior. The American Veterinary Medical Foundation (AMVF) reminds us that pets should always have access to a safe, quiet place to rest when visitors are present. As the giving season quickly approaches, some people might also consider giving an animal as a gift. Tread carefully! You should never give an animal as a gift without first discussing it with the recipient. Some people, though animal lovers, might not be ready to take on the commitment of welcoming an animal into their home. They may also be living with someone who has animal allergies. If you decide together that it’s a good time to add an animal to the family, check local animal shelters and rescue organizations for adoption options. Spoiling furry friends is something that many pet owners like to do during the holidays. However,

December 2018

before purchasing a new toy or treat for your pet, it’s crucial to once again ensure safety. The Humane Society recommends checking with your pet’s veterinarian before purchasing edible treats to make sure you’re making an appropriate choice for your pet’s diet. If you’d prefer to give your dog a more active gift, consider rubber toys or tennis balls to chase. Be sure that all the parts on a toy are secure and will withstand active chewing without becoming a choking hazard. Stuffed toys are another option. As with rubber toys, make sure all parts are securely fastened. Toys should always be checked periodically to make sure they’re still in good repair. Cats are infamous for their love of cardboard boxes and empty paper bags. If you want to aim a little higher with a holiday gift, consider that cats generally enjoy interactive play with their owners. A feathered toy on the end of a long string would probably be well received. You could also consider a laser pointer, so your cat can chase that little dot of light all over the house. Distraction toys, which can be filled with treats, are fun for cats and dogs alike. The treats inside provide motivation to keep playing. These types of toys can keep pets engaged for a long time...say, the duration of a holiday party at your home? Like most of us, pets are happiest when they feel safe and well-loved. Ultimately, the best gifts that pet owners can supply to their animals are love and protection. This holiday season, keep your pets safe and happy by planning ahead and making your holiday home a safe home for everyone who enters it. Sources for this article included: avma.org, csucvmbs.colostate.edu, aaha.org, and humanesociety.org. WE

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December 2018

Positive Perspective

Go After What You Want… Or Something Better

I have a great affirmation that I use continually. It is helpful in every situation where I am attempting to achieve an outcome. You see, I don’t think we always know in the present exactly what might be best for ourselves in the future—exactly what outcome would best benefit our lives. Therefore, I like to leave a little room for improvement over my imagination and allow the universe to add more to my goals than I might have anticipated. Therefore, my affirmation goes: I want this or something better. It’s really rather simple. I want this (my expected outcome) or something better. That something better is often a surprise; some thing I hadn’t thought about. It’s always something better. At first, the outcome may seem to be an inconvenience. If I cannot deal with that, then it probably won’t ever become some thing I like. However, if I deal with it in a positive way, I will turn it into something wonderful.

By Janet Van deWalle

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing It to master you.” —Brian Tracy Always have control of your attitude and the way you choose to view things, and you will always be the master of your experience. You will always create in your experience exactly what you want… or something better. “Before success in any man’s life, he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps, some failure. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is to quit. That is exactly what the majority of men do.” —Napoleon Hill

“An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.” —Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Always have control of your attitude, and never quit. Always go for what you believe you want, or something better! Align your energy on every level and go after what you want…or something better.

I always want to look for the next adventure, that is what makes life so thrilling and fun. In order to have a positive experience when things turn out differently than I had imagined, I need the proper attitude about what I will experience.

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less en ergy to go faster and farther when the wheels are In perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.” —Brian Tracy

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