The Enemy Of Boredom
o N 12 ISSUE
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Inside:
LISA NELSON: FETISH UNGAGGED COMEDY
GADGETS
FOOD
GAMING
MUSIC
TRAVEL
WUWO Magazine Contributors WUWO Media Editor in Chief Steven Godwin
WELCOME What is the connection between I’m a celebrity get me out of here and BDSM? Has there ever been a good game made from a movie? Why is Hitler the first voice alien life would intercept? April’s edition brings you the answer to the absurd, the cure for the curious and the reasoning of the ridiculous. Meanwhile our coverage online stretches from sexy wookies to goat racing so be sure to head online for uncut interviews and exclusive content. Jack Courtez Content Editor
FEATURES
08 Blag It: The Great Escape
Could one Julian Assange walk out the embassy's doors without being noticed? WUWO examines the posilbities.
09 Science
The Universe in facts. Some of these might surprise you.
12 Interview with Rob Broderick
Award-winning comedian, Rob, a.k.a. Abandoman talks freestyle hip hop, hecklers and Ed Sheeran.
18 Lisa Nelson: Fetish Ungagged
Garment designer, Lisa, talks about the world of BDSM, the fetish industry and providing medial treatment to Dominatrixes.
28 Interview with The Computers
WUWO speaks with The Computers regarding their new album, Love Triangles, Hate Squares.
38 Shazad Latif Speaks
Shazad discusses his new role in Sky Living's A Nice Arrangement.
REGULARS 06 Gadgets
30 Art Explorer
10 Aisling Bea
28 Music
15 Gimmicks
22 Retronaut
24 Gameplay
34 Food
16 WUWO Likes
36 Travel
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Content Editor Jack Courtez Copy Editor Ralph Jones Design Nita Saroglou Andrew Brown Michael David Hayton Writers Aisling Bea Andrew Taylor Craig Ballinger Daniella Bae Fergus Dufton Haley Wise Jack Courtez Lauren Hughes Matthew Cook Meaghan Kilroy Nader Khouri Nick Webb Ralph Jones Sarah Bradley Stevie Martin To get in contact about editorial requests: editorial@wuwomagazine.com Advertising requests: advertising@wuwomagazine.com
WUWO Magazine is published monthly by WUWO Media. We try and make sure all our information is correct but details may be subject to change. Any physical submissions are sent at the owners risk and we will accept no responsibility for loss or damage. Nothing printed in WUWO Magazine can be copied or republished without our written permission. Sign up to the WUWO magazine's mailing list to receive exclusive offers and deals only available to WUWO members.
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Curiosity Killed The Cat wuwomagazine.com
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Hand-picked, intriguing happenings, venues, clubs, shops and more from across London and beyond. The Electric Ballroom
Leanne’s Flowers
Not many bands get better with age but Propagandhi have transformed from 90’s pop-punk to technical hardcore and they are all the better for it. Think Blag Flag meets Rush and then some. These well-travelled Canadians will be bringing North American giants in the form of Comeback Kid, Shai Hulud and War on Women.
Those who have ever forgotten an important anniversary/birthday will know the power of flowers in saving you from the doghouse. This little stall on the corner of Berwick street and Broadwick street could save your life.Leanne Gellel’s stall was voted Soho Market Trader of the year based on appearance, service and quality. Unlike that wilted petrol garage bouquet you are considering, a bouquet from here will bring life to any surrounding and maybe even your marriage!
The Electric Ballroom, Camden 17 April www.electricballroom.co.uk
London Coffee Festival If you want a frappe mocha decaf extra skinny latte then go home and have a chocolate milkshake. If you are interested in artisan roasts, blends and beans then you should consider the London Coffee Festival. This year marks the event’s first anniversary and features London themed zones and caffeinated freebies!
The Old Truman Brewery, 91 Brick Lane 25-28 April £12 on the door, £8 advance www.londoncoffeefestival.com
Leanne’s Flowers Berwick Street corner, Soho
Acton Depot Open Weekend Londoners have been flooded with advertisements for the underground’s 150th anniversary since January. However, 1863 transport seems far removed from the system we enjoy today. In April, the Acton Depot will give Londoners an opportunity to relive that history. On Sat. April 13 and Sun. April 14, the Acton Depot Station will be hosting an open weekend. The Metropolitan Steam Locomotive No.1 will be in light steam, and visitors will have a chance to ride on the Ffestiniog Railway’s 150-year-old steam engine, Prince, along with a miniature railway. Acton Depot Station 13 April & 14 April , 11 am - 5 pm £10/£8 Book online at www.ltmuseum.co.uk
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REGULAR
Vinyl Record Snack Tray What happens to old records when even charity shops don’t want them (we’re looking at you Mr. Glitter)? The vast majority end up in a landfill but a lucky few end up serving nachos.
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Desktop Drum Kit With a cymbal and three noisy toms, this is not just for the work place, it is a great gift for your friend’s children and a great blow to your friend’s sanity. We know what it is like to be an amazing finger drummer only for your performances to end in irate co-workers instead of groupies. Your quiet and incessant tapping of pop tunes just isn’t getting your talent recognised. The only way to win round your colleagues is by being louder and faster. Take your skills to the next level with the Desk Top Drum Kit.
@whatsupwhatson
Seedbom 4 Pack The phrase concrete jungle is overused, but guerrilla gardening aims to pepper depressing urban areas with bursts of nature and create a literal concrete jungle. Seedboms allow users to give something back to the city through grenade shaped projectiles which grow where they land.
The Vinyl Record Snack Tray company takes old records, cleans them up and vacuum presses them into a bowl, complete with original label. Unfortunately, you can’t pick what artist you want but that just adds to the fun. A perfect accessory for the hungry DJ, simply put the vinyl bowl on the vinyl player for some rotating party snacks but try not to get hummus on the needle! www.gadgets.co.uk £9.95
Strawz Mixing drinking and chemistry lessons sounds like a dangerous mix, however it can also be very entertaining. Strawz allows drinkers to build their own straws in the style of science apparatus. The uses are far more numerous and pointless than you’d imagine at a first glance. Split the end and put one in coke and the other in rum for a perfect 50/50 balance, run the straw along a cooling system (ice) for a cool drink or siphon from the bottle to your glass to ensure a supply which only ends when the bottle runs dry.
www.hawkin.com £13.00
Star Theatre Planetarium Astronomy is a truly inspiring hobby…as long as you can see the sky. Unfortunately, we live in a country where the predictable forecast is clouds and rain.
Chuck a few in your garden, pop one in the top of a low street post or wedge one in a pavement crack to transform your surroundings and brighten up your town.
www.lazyboneuk.com £7.99
Nunchops
Monkey Nail Dryer
It is every ninja’s worst nightmare, while chowing down on your chow mein you are ambushed by a gang of evil henchmen. With nothing but the humble chopstick to defend with, many brave warriors have died covered in their own noodles.
Employing the fashion help of an animal that flings its own poo for fun isn’t normally a great idea. The exception to this rule is the Monkey Nail Dryer which helps prevent the smudging of nail polish through blowing air over the area.
Settings allow you to choose the speed, add shooting stars and mark constellations. WUWO Suggests combining the Star Theatre with a beanbag, a few bottles of beer and your favourite Pink Floyd album after a stressful day in the office.
After loosing many colleagues to meal time murders, Mustard decided to fight back. By combining the wood-swinging kick-assery of nunchucks with the deadly precision required from chopsticks, they created nunchops. This effective weapon in the fight against evil (and sushi) is now available to buy online
Interestingly, designers chose to put the blow hole in-between the monkey’s legs as opposed to using its mouth. While a great novelty, having to dry each nail individually may actually increase the amount of time it takes.
www.firebox.com £119.99
www.justmustard.com £5.00
www.kabloomshop.co.uk £9
The Star Theatre combats our miserable weather by projecting the universe onto your ceiling with the quality and accuracy of a commercial planetarium. While costing over a hundred quid, it more than breaks even by allowing you to change discs and view the sky at night from the southern hemisphere at a fraction of the cost and annoyance as visiting Australia.
www.red5.co.uk £7.95
REGULAR
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Science: Universal Facts By Jack Courtez
The size of the universe can be a scary thought; 70,000 million, million, million stars, all within our 93 billion light-year visible range can make you feel rather small and insignificant but in truth, it should do the opposite… Arizona State University’s Professor of the School of Earth and Space Exploration, Lawrence M. Krauss, is quoted as saying
..every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.
The idea of a fake nose leading everyone off the scent may seem laughable, but it seems to work for other celebrities. Walking a plastic surgeon through the front door is too easy to spot, so time to get creative: YOU WILL NEED: An eye patch Black hair dye One fake harry potter scar Eddie Murphy’s fat suite 100 long haired albinos
The objects around you aren’t the only examples of cosmic history in your life. That fuzzy static, or ‘snow’, on analogue TV and Radio is partly cosmic microwave radiation, still bouncing around from The Big Bang. As a theory, The Big Bang was originally discredited by some scientists as being ‘too religious’, as the idea of a definitive beginning supports Abrahamic religions’ idea of a creator.
Andy McNab, Tom Clancy and even Justin Bieber have probably used it to get away from hoards of angry hit men/13 year old girls. Dress Assange up in the aforementioned modification then release the 100 long haired albino look-a-likes with Julian in the middle.
The Big Bang theory is a major factor in predictions on the likelihood of advanced life existing on other planets. The odds vary but current formulae, such as the rare earth hypothesis, conclude that Earth is a fluke, an extreme coincidence and a one in a billion chance at best. If you couple this with the probability of your ancestry resulting in you (1 x10 to the power of 2,685,000), the resulting probability wouldn’t fit in this magazine, even if we dedicated the next 167 magazines to writing it out! But don’t get too full of yourself; the probability for that jacket potato you ate last night is even smaller. If this is incorrect and there is intelligent life nearby, how long before they intercept our radio signals? We’ve been broadcasting at a level capable of breaking into space since Hitler’s 1936 Olympic Games. Unnervingly, this means the first message from earth that they would catch, may have been from one of the worst humans who ever lived.
Chance of success 1/10
While the box concept owes itself to a Channel 4 game show, this idea could work with or without Noel Edmonds. YOU WILL NEED: 1,000 human sized crates 999 Assange-weighted objects A patient working relationship with Fedex
This is the only method WUWO can confirm is being implemented by the WikiLeaks chairman.
Pay Fedex to deliver and collect all 1,000 boxes with the weights in to and from the Embassy every day for a month and smuggle him out on a day where the police look exceptionally sleepy. Extra heist points if you paint a giant red question mark on each box.
YOU WILL NEED: Thousands of votes Assange has claimed his election would make the US and Sweden drop their cases against him in fear of provoking a “diplomatic row”.
Chance of success: 3/10
Chance of success 3/10
LUCKILY, THE SIGNAL HAS ONLY TRAVELLED 200 LIGHTYEARS OUT OF THE 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 WE CAN OBSERVE.
REGULAR
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Reasons To Tolerate Idiots By Aisling Bea
Eejit - Noun Chiefly Irish word. Pejorative. An idiot. A fool. A dullard. Breathe a sigh of relief, culture of perfection. April begins with the only day of the year when it is accepted to do the most basic of human things - behave like an eejit. April Fool’s Day is celebrated the world over. It is non-religious, of no political consequence or relevance, never that funny and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. There is no computer logic that could explain April Fool’s - a day during which we all silently agree to behave like we are at a global cringe worthy open-mic night, where a novice stand up insults people who voluntarily sat in the front row. But we MUST protect it. Why? In ten years time, will be over thrown by the robots. They will be running the world. We will become their minions. They are already sewing our clothes, remembering what we like, controlling our music and making love to our women. There are but a few bastions of humanity left that they will never be able to mimic. One of them is this art of ‘eejitry’ - the natural and unpredictable process of learning from acting the maggot in order to become a better human. Falling over is how we learn to walk. If you never got up and fell flat on your face, you would still be sat in a nappy poo-ing yourself, waiting to be carried around by another adult who probably has a sore back by now. Human brains are programmed to hold onto bad memories longer than the good ones in order to sharpen one’s reflexes. Negative experiences teach us how to survive. They are stored in a different part of the brain. Mistakes give the body a little shock. Then you remember the feeling of that shock in your muscles the next time you go to mimic someone’s regional accent while they are trying to explain something to you.
We trip on a banana skin, we blush and the next time you know to walk around it. Or indeed tell the person you live with how to use a BLOODY BIN FOR ONCE IN THEIR LIFE! I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED! (Happened to a friend). This world however, is slowly becoming a place where we are encouraged to pretend that we have never tried and failed. To pretend that we have never been human. To airbrush our lives for strangers so we may be high-fived for acting like aliens who have never looked bad. It is becoming a dangerous place to give something a go and make honest mistakes. (Obviously not talking embezzlement or sexually harassing the secretary here, lads). Despite “trying and failing “ being generic human traits rooted in bravery, the internet is fast creating stocks we can stick people in and use our words as rotten tomatoes to throw at them. Soon we will all just sit around comparing ourselves to each other online, afraid to leave the house in case someone realises that we are not really the colour, weight or skillset that we profess to be on the internet. So good people, I urge you - don’t tweet the teenager from the singing competition calling him a fat twat although it seems funny at the time and he is a bit fat. Don’t buy the women’s magazine and pay the wages of the people who draw giant circles around other women who had the audacity to engage in the unnatural acts of being pregnant, looking old, yawning in public or being unable to hide their crotch when some scumbag sticks a camera right up their mooch as if trying to give a person getting out of a car an ultra-sound. We make fun of the eejits to a level beyond repair as if we have never swung a shopping basket around so enthusiastically that we have hit a toddler in the head (happened to a friend).
“To err is human, to forgive divine” While we must criticise and out the wrongs of the world, it is not just generally more intelligent to hate and have a loud negative opinion. A chip on the mug you love doesn’t make the mug terrible, you just have to drink out of a different side of it.
If you’ve behaved like an eejit, apologise and move on. You didn't mean to have a second cup of coffee, which caused your mouth to go on a chat bender for two hours straight. It’s April, let’s give each other a bit of a break for acting like an eejit every now and again*. It’s better than being a knob head.
Knob-head - Noun Essentially an eejit, but a manipulative mean one whose heart is in the wrong place. Probably their stupid arrogant foot. But that is for next month… *Please note that if any of us trip in the street, we are all fair game for teens and shopkeepers alike to point and laugh. Fair enough, a robot wouldn’t blush. Vive la revolution.
COMEDY
Rob Broderick
Award-winning comedian Rob Broderick (a.k.a Abandoman) uses audience interaction and freestyle hip-hop to take crowds on an absurd and energetic journey, featuring the contents of their minds andpockets. By Jack Courtez
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WUWO chatted about fake legs, drunken taxi rapping and Ed Sheeran at 2am after a busy gig down under. So you just finished a show in Adelaide? Just come off stage right about an hour and a half ago. It’s a nice crowd, a very, very nice crowd. A lot of heckling? Yeah but the right kind of heckling. I kind of encourage people to get involved, so I just did the show as a narrative; a one hour story. It’s kind of interesting watching the Adelaide audience, they’ve been doing things and associating themselves with someone they’ve never met. How often do people give you orange to rhyme with? [laughs] I got that tonight. It’s not a hard word to rhyme, once every 6 nights someone drops in the word orange, I think. How did you get started freestyling? I started rapping without really consciously knowing that I was rapping. I was into hip-hop at a young age, like 13, which for Ireland in the 90s made me a kind of musical pariah. I never really rehearsed or practiced freestyling but I think I spent about 3 to 4 hours a day, listening to artists like Naughty by Nature on tape. I was probably a little bit tipsy at a party when I was 18 and I just started rapping along to songs. I thought I was saying the right words but my mates said, “You know, that’s not actually the lyrics.” I think that was the moment I was like, “Oh am I kind of freestyling?” So you’ve been called the 7th best hip-hop act in Ireland. How many hip-hop acts are there in Ireland? You know what? I’m losing touch. Over here in Australia it’s really interesting seeing this hip-hop scene that’s got a real happy vibe, similar to Jurassic Five. With Australian MC’ing it’s like: “What is there to complain about? It’s sunny!”
So who put up with your freestyling at first? Who was your audience? [laughs] That’s the loveliest thing I’ve ever heard! So accurate how you use, “Who put up with it?” Girlfriends. All of them, all the time but the people who got it worse are mates from when I was drunk but not very good at rapping. I tried to rap to a taxi driver but I kept on rhyming the word taxi with taxi, so it was like the most idiotic rap ever. Ask the ladies in my life. Lady! Singular! That is not a pimp statement. I think if I’d never left Ireland I wouldn’t be rapping. I’d be an accountant maybe? What’s the weirdest thing anyone has ever thrown out? A prosthetic leg? A few times I’ve been given tiny babies and I do look at those parents with a sense of judgement! I don’t trust me to hold this child, you should not trust me! But yeah, the prosthetic leg was very funny, I heard a massive cheer from a group of lads and then a guy ran up holding his mate’s leg with glee. Out of the UK or Australia who’s more prepared on their night out? You get a couple of people with toothbrushes. If you’re going for a night out with a toothbrush, you’re going for a NIGHT OUT. People are much more likely to have a can of tuna than a first aid kit. You supported Ed Sheeran on his tour – how was his freestyling? Amazing, Ed is phenomenal. What was it like being on tour with him? So many people and such good crowds. There are some humorous moments, A girl started grabbing my t-shirt off me and I started laughing and said, “Can we stop the track, I’m a grown man!” ... and I’ve rarely said that.
I think hip-hop in the UK and Ireland has changed quite a bit, you’ve got Akala, Lowkey and people like that about.
How do people back home react when you tell them you’re a rapper? They think I’m ridiculous. I went to a wedding, and when asked what I do, I don’t say I’m a rapper. People have to tease it out of me more; I’m not like hey everybody! Captain rap-a-lot is in the house!
Exactly. The kind of public gravitas those guys are getting is massive, you know Tinie Tempah and Rizzle Kicks are big but Akala and Lowkey have an incredible respect amongst fans. My God, Lowkey in particular blows me away.
At the wedding people came looking for me, saying: “Your mother said you could rap.” Depending on my mood and level of alcohol intake, sometimes I will and sometimes I’ll skulk into a corner and curl up into a ball.
COMPETITION TFL 150th Anniversary Open Weekend
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AMUSING
Gimmicks By Meaghan Kilroy
Below are some famous April fools pranks, but one of these is itself an April fools’ prank, can you spot the right one?
WUWO IS GIVING AWAY 6 PAIRS OF TICKETS TO ACTON DEPOT'S OPEN WEEKEND ON APRIL 13-14. In celebration of London Underground's 150th anniversary, the depot is giving visitors a chance to relive parts of London's early transport history. Think old Victorian railway carriages and steamy underground passages.Very Sherlock Holmes. Just email your details to competition@wuwomagazine.com with "Acton Depot" in the title for your chance to win.
Taco Liberty Bell
Westminister Abbey
Taco Liberty Bell. The name Taco Bell might not ring a bell to those outside the United States, but even if one isn’t a frequenter of this fast food joint, simply hearing about this prank will strike a cord.
On April 1, 1973 the city of London disclosed that it would be renaming Westminster Abbey “Westminister Abbey” to limit the number of mispronunciations by American tourists who flocked to the site. The following day, the city revealed that the name change was a joke and that Americans would continue to be seen as woefully illiterate.
In 1996 the Taco Bell Corp. announced that it had purchased the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia, Pa. and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Americans were outraged. Some were so bothered by the thought of the fast food chain replacing the title of a national landmark that they phoned up the National Park Service to complain. Eventually, Taco Bell fessed up to the prank and as some reports have it, donated $50,000 to the upkeep of the bell.
Sidd Finch One of the most notorious April Fools’ Day pranks to date. A writer for Sports Illustrated was asked to craft an article in celebration of April Fools’ Day. Enter Sidd Finch. Finch was raised in an orphanage, learned yoga in Tibet and despite being a rookie baseball player could throw a fastball 270 km/h. This excited baseball fans who flooded Sports Illustrated with requests to hear more about Finch. On April 8, the magazine announced that Finn had retired. Seven days later it announced that the story was a hoax.
Dutch Elm Disease A 1973 BBC Radio broadcast on Dutch Elm Disease revealed some startling discoveries on how the disease was spread. Exposure to the disease apparently transformed red hair into blonde. One of the academics interviewed attributed this to the blood count of redheads and the conditions of the soil where the Dutch Elms grew. The report was a hoax, redheads learned that they were indeed going to remain red headed and the academic revealed himself as comedian Spike Milligan.
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WUWO LIKES
Music
Movie
Television
Literature Website
The Flaming LipsThe Terror
Good Vibrations
Workaholics
Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls
Les Concerts á Emporter
Kelly Oxford
It has been 4 years since The Flaming Lips produced their last magical psychedelic studio album, however you can stop wishing for more, as they dropped their newest album on April 1st just in time to make it onto your summer playlist.
Good Vibrations is a quintessential rock n’ roll biopic featuring broken down vans, booze and underdogs overcoming the odds.
Although not aired on the UK Comedy Central, Workaholics has reached many other parts of Europe through the lovable charm of the three main characters who embody the stereotype of pothead slackers.
David Sedaris has been hit with every positive cliché in a critic’s arsenal and rightly so. His humorously self-loathing style is a hit with live crowds and readers alike.
Have you ever wondered if your favorite musicians were actually talented when taken away from all the production tactics of music videos and concert pizzazz?
One of the biggest challenges of Twitter is generating interest and emotion within the 140 characters, something that Kelly Oxford has a natural talent for.
These three roommates finish their days of office shenanigans and smoking weed in the supply closet by drinking beer on the roof and trying, and failing, to pick up girls.
Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls floats through seemingly erratic and unlinked topics with grace and a devilish eye for detail. From Beijing toilets to Cost-Co in North Carolina to human taxidermy, David’s new collection of essays is the perfect cure for a busy morning on the tube.
This French site features something that is truly universal: music. Translated as “Takeaway Shows”, the website features popular musicians taken out of the recording studio and concert hall and asked to perform spontaneously on the street, in a metro car, in an elevator or in some other random public space.
Oxford picks fun at pretty much everything including Hollywood, her child and random people on the street. She proves the phrase “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” doesn’t apply to the Twitterverse and that making people laugh at the expense of others can turn you into a Twitter celebrity with an impressive 445,683 followers joining in the past year.
The album title is symbolic of the content, as the first few songs transition from a dreamy feel, slowly descending into nightmare as it plays on. This is perfect to accompany the spring in your step as the sun begins to peak out slightly. The tracklist conveniently includes songs called “Sun Blows Up Today” and “You are Alone” allowing you to transition quickly from sunny to dreary.
Focusing colorfully on the senses on 70’s punk, it incorporates the harsh reality of the Belfast war zone causing a cathartic juxtaposition of an ominous, yet hopeful, screenplay. This is a true story of Terri Hooley, dubbed the “father of Belfast punk”, who opened up a record store and label responsible for the fame of The Outcasts and The Undertones during the Irish punk revolution. After 13 years in the making, the premier of this biopic left those whose teenage years revolved around this record store both teary eyed and laughing from the gut.
iwastesomuchtime.com What started out as a site for friends to exchange funny things they found on the Internet, has grown into a community of procrastinating academics and bored businesspeople looking to kill time online. Users submit their favourite clippings from around the web and vote them up or down, ensuring the best content gets to the fore.
Each episode finds the boys in an unfortunate situation, such as being locked inside the office all night on shrooms or trying to rescue the girls from an online chat site. Recently having finished its third season, the show is a classic you can watch over and over, and is contracted for a fourth coming up!
Cycling Through The Ages Pedals, what some would regard as a cycling necessity were curiously absent on the first bike to grace this planet. 22 years later, someone wised up and strapped two platforms onto the thing to propel the rider forward. Discover more oddities in cycling history on our website.
Those looking for an introduction to David’s work before the April 23 launch of his new collection should check out Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk or Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.
This site features artists such as Beirut, The Lumineers, and Bloc Party playing music on trashcans and being taken out of bars to sing accapella for the camera, revolutionizing and personalizing the concept of a live music video.
Harlem Shake A YouTube search for “Harlem Shake” will turn up thousands of videos of people in weird costumes writhing to Baauer’s beats. The dancing is bad but there is something oddly thrilling about not knowing whom or what will be struck by the ‘shakes’ next. Yesterday it was a corgi. Tomorrow it’s a washing machine. The possibilities are endless.
Just another Twitter success story, using social media and a witty persona to achieve success in Hollywood, she is quickly becoming the next Chelsea Lately.
PassiveAggressiveNotes. com Overzealous co-worker? Messy flatmate? Ever wish you could send them an aggressive note, without ever actually delivering the note to them? Perhaps you already have one drafted. Send your letter to PassiveAgressiveNotes.com and maybe, just maybe they’ll take the hint.
FEATURE
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Lisa Nelson: Fetish UnGagged By Steven Godwin
Nelson Bespoke provides some of the country’s most powerful people with fetish and BDSM equipment. The secrecy involved in such a task means Lisa has previously flied beneath the radar, no website, no interviews and no photographs. In an exclusive interview with WUWO Magazine, Lisa talks about the world of BDSM, the fetish industry and providing medical treatment to Dominatrixes, completely un-gagged. How would you describe the clothes that Nelson Bespoke makes? I would describe them as clothes for people who choose a certain lifestyle. I make clothes that allow people to realise their lifestyles, whether it’s crossdressing, transgender, fetishist or women who wear corsets; a lot of women wear corsets as belts. How did you get into this? When I was a medical herbalist a woman came to see me saying she was a make up artist. On about the third appointment, she said she’d split up with her partner and she was really upset because she’d lose her business. I was like you’re a make up artist, you’re freelance! She just started laughing and said, ‘I haven’t told you the truth; I’m a professional dominatrix.’ And I was like, ‘Well you can’t carry your gallows on the tube then?’ It was at this point she realised I wasn’t looking down on her. Because I worked with her and her customers quite successfully, word spread around. The whole BDSM and fetish industry is huge. After this I started to treat more professional dominatrixes who would bring their subs to me and I wouldn’t judge them. Either the guys had make up on or they had signs of consensual injuries. I also treated a lot of heads of big industries that were also into BDSM, so discretion and confidentiality was a huge concern. I built up quite a patient base of people who wanted to see a professional for related health issues but were too concerned with privacy to go to other professionals. One of those guys knew I sewed and badgered me to make him a dress. Because of my anatomy background, I could adapt a female dress to still look female on him but accommodate his physique.
You mentioned that there are clients from all sorts of industries, obviously we can’t name names but can you say what industries they were in? I’ve designed and created pieces for politicians, heads of huge corporations and household names that were into BDSM or the fetish lifestyle. I remember, a head of a household corporation who was tattooed as much as possible while being unnoticeable in a suit. They also had quite big bondage piercings put in. So, how do they find out about you? Word of mouth and I network in the normal way, you know, I go into normal networking meetings, tell people what I do, give them my card if they ask for it and then I leave. What kind of price would you give me if I wanted a really nice dress or corset made for me? My mentor Beth does the corsets; her company is called Orchid Corsets. She’s fabulous and she makes them for men as well. The corset you saw on stage, an active wear corset [pictured bottom right, page 21], probably starts at just over the £200 mark. Depending on what people want, it might start somewhere in the region of £150-£200 and upwards. And then could go up to how much? I’m quoting an outfit at the moment that is probably going to be around £10,000 but that’s like, huge design structures. Also, the people who are having it want the person to be locked into it. Locked into it? Yeah, locked in, so they can’t get it off. It’s a historical costume. How long does something like that take you to make? You could have something on a production line for two to three months, depending on what you want. It’s like, how long is a piece of string?
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FEATURE
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How did you meet your corset maker, Beth? I treated myself to a corsetry course and I met her there. We got along really well. She was completely self-taught and with my anatomy background we had a lot in common, a corset is completely figure changing and it’s based on anatomy. This is when I committed full time to making garments.
makes specialist electro-stimulation devices for sex play. They’re called E-Stim but they also produce the electric devices for things like I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here and Big Brother, when they do the electric shock games. So, Brits are thought of as being quite prudish but it seems we’ve got a secret sex industry? I think it comes from the stiff upper lip stuff but if you look back at Victorian times, some of the instruments that they designed, supposedly for medical use, were actually for sex toys.
Do you go to many fetish events yourself? I’ve been to a few to see what it’s like. I know loads of people, so it wasn’t something completely new to me. I did a lot of research at these events, like you would do for any other business, and I found there was nobody doing bespoke garments for fetish that weren’t latex or PVC.
How many people like cross dress? The conservative estimate is about 1% of the heterosexual male population. How about the other way around, women dressing as men? Well think about it, women are allowed to, aren’t they? Society doesn’t frown on it; in the 1920s women would be put in a mental institution for wearing trousers. So, it’s much more about what’s accepted. I said earlier that a conservative estimate for men is 1% but some think it’s more like 1 in 10. So, you should take a look at your mates!
Most people expect fetish gear to be leather, PVC or latex; what do you work with? I tend to use the old fashioned materials with tactile appeal. That’s what a lot of the fetish world is about, especially with transvestites, transgender and cross dressers, they want the feel of the garment as well. I tend to use silk, wools and stuff like that. That isn’t what people expect from the fetish scene, is it? If you look at the definition of fetish, it is really an artefact. You start to get down to sexual arousal, so it’s a bad word to describe the market but it’s the only term people can relate to. It can be anything from Marvel characters to French maiden uniforms, stylised, so it’s not your basic bondage stuff. You’ve got lots of different things; everything from cosplay to the latex market. People normally think of the latter as things like Katy Perry and that kind of pretty outfits but much of the latex market is geared towards guys. There is also leather, furries; where people dress up as animals, uniforms, historical costumes, adult babies and then you’ve got everything in between. I am more interested in producing a garment that looks beautiful, feels gorgeous and can be used in many different ways. So, if some of our readers wanted to experience an event, where could they go to get a taste? In the UK, there is three, what I would term, kind of ‘market expo’ structures. One
Interested in getting your fantasy threads made? Contact lisa@nelsonbespoke.co.uk
is called Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar. You have loads of stalls that sell things from corsets to sex toys to what they call edgeplay stuff, which is like needles. So, you can go and talk to these people that are professionals; it’s what they do for a living and a lot of them are actual players too. They have after-parties after these events, so you can go partake and people will share their knowledge. I want to say one thing before we go on; a lot of BDSM play is about anticipation, release of endorphins and sensation. It is quite akin to some guy playing rugby and experiencing an endorphin high after getting hurt. You get places like the Torture Garden but it is more of a lifestyle place so it is more about clubbing now. There are also clubs that celebrate female dominance like Pedestal, where you get dominant females that are literally served all night by men.
What about sex, do they allow stuff like that? No, not in fetish clubs. That’s if you go off to a swingers club, which is a completely different ball game. Do you think society today is more open-minded than 20 years ago? I do, I think we talk about things more now. You just have to look at E L James with 50 Shades of Grey, I mean, who wouldn’t have wanted to wake up with her bank balance! There are still some sectors of society that want to sweep it under the carpet. Often, sensational red tops create incorrect perceptions of BDSM and that is dangerous. When I look at Watford though, several major Latex companies have moved in and there’s a company that
WUWO ISSUE No12 22
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Retronaut Presents: wuwomagazine.com
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The title of “exotic dancer” brings with it connotations of skinny girls, seedy clubs, nudity and Motley Crue’s Girls, Girls, Girls playing on repeat. However, exotic dancing in the late 19th century involved curvier women, corsets and horse outfits. Retronaut’s photographic time capsule uncovers the life and fashion of 1890’s exotic dancers in New York and San Francisco.
Games into Movies, A Recipe for Disaster? By Nader Kouhri
We are all aware of that old adage that states movies and video games are largely incompatible. This rings true for many game-to-movie transitions but that’s not to say achieving this is entirely out of reach. Numerous producers have tried, and many have succeeded, but those that have failed have done so to such a ridiculous degree that they have been lost in a sea of ridicule. Uwe Bol can be seen as something of a forerunner; infamous for smudging the big screen with his relentless massacring of game adaptations, with offending titles such as House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, each one shedding some light on the difficulty of this task. “Take the hard-core gamers. The characters are way more real in the world of hard-core gamers who have played the game for hundreds of hours. They have the movie in their heads; they've built it on their own. These guys are always very disappointed in the movies.”
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Max Payne
As a package, Rockstar and Remedy’s Max Payne was an incisive mix of slow motion gunplay and knowingly satirical noir. This is the type of game just begging to grace the big screen, which sadly happened. By the time of the movie’s release, the bullet time effect had been used in every action film since the Matrix and Mark Wahlberg’s face took itself so seriously that Max Payne came across as a knob. Just so much wasted potential here.
On the other hand we can choose to be subjected to the opposite end of the spectrum; the similarly mediocre movie to video game affairs. No wait, some of these games dream of being mediocre. Most of the time this is due to production being run by people with dollar signs for eyes but that’s no excuse now is it?On the other hand we can choose to be subjected to the opposite end of the spectrum, the similarly mediocre movie to video game affairs. No wait, some of these games dream of being mediocre. They fall hard, all the live long day. Most of the time it’s due to them being rushed into production by people with dollar signs for eyes and moneybag rucksacks, but that’s no excuse now is it. Here are some of the worst offenders.
Silent Hill and Silent Hill: Revelation These films are something of a misnomer, as the press slated them but many hard-core Silent Hill fans sing their praises. Revelation currently has an abysmal %6 on RottenTomatoes.com and it is easy to see why; a dire script and a reversal of the tried and tested show-not-tell method of exposition makes it almost unwatchable to those unfamiliar with Silent hill canon. However, for fans the film is filled to the brim with references to Silent Hill 3. It pays homage to the game using fairly high profile actors, as opposed to the Uwe Boll approach, which is to make a god-awful movie with total unknowns and then slap a video game title on it.
This is the greatest story ever told. Steven Spielberg wanted an ET game to be released along with the movie and thus he enlisted fabled game designer Howard Scott Warshaw to help out. Warshaw was given six weeks to come up with a finished product, which he did. Come release day, 1.5 million kids booted up their Atari 2600’s, only to have ET fall into pits that he couldn’t get out of. Cue 1.5 million mothers returning the tear-stained cartridges back to the shop. Atari were left unable to shift 2.5 million copies of the game and had them buried in a landfill in New Mexico, where they remain rotting to this day. True story.
Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game What is worse than making a 2D Beat-em-Up into a Hollywood movie? Taking said movie and turning it back into a Beat-em-up again. That is so freaking Meta, it’s a wonder that it didn’t play itself. In fact, when Capcom released the game for the Sega Saturn and Playstation, they fobbed in onto to small time publishers, Acclaim Entertaininment, to re-coup losses.
Whilst this is a valid point, if you are choosing to turn an arcade rail shooter into a movie, as he tried with House of the Dead, you are going to have problems. With minimal story line and character development, it is destined to fail. This is because the original content that you are drawing from has no purpose being recreated as a film in the first place. Of course, the difficulty of these adaptations hasn’t deterred countless people from trying. Here are some examples for your enjoyment.
ET: The Extra Terrestrial
Not all movie games were bad of course; it is just more entertaining to remember the awful ones. Aladdin, for example, was an awesome side-scrolling platformer, with colourful graphics and apple throwing. GoldenEye, for the N64, is still the greatest game of all time for some. The incredible Kingdom Hearts series is a testament to how well both movies and video games can be combined. Also check out Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic if you like deep, story driven RPGs. It can be done! See?
Enter The Matrix Half victim of the hype machine and half downright terrible, Enter the Matrix serves as a reminder that not even an astronomical budget and the original writers/ directors of the source material can stop mediocrity. In order to access the extra scenes from the movie you had to battle through obtrusive camera angles and clunky controls. Also, you can’t even play as Neo. Bah.
WUWO ISSUE No12 26
FEATURE
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WUWO attended the Birmingham MCM Comic Con in March, in disguise of course as to not attract the wrath of any super villains. We saw battling robots, some fantastic comic and graphic artists, a posse of cats on a dance machine, an entire garrison of storm troopers headed by Darth Vader, Disney princesses, boobs (male and otherwise), cupcakes, peace sign throwing school girls, amazing toy collections and of course an unforgettable encounter with Chewwie himself *swoons*. The celebrity count was solid too with appearances from Jamie Murray, Gary Dourdan and Colin Baker to name but a few. Keep your eyes peeled for coverage when MCM comes to London in May.
Well done to our featured picture winners Bex Hemington and Jasper Jeeves Lejack.
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MUSIC
that much. It’s just about people but for me, for all of us, growing up listening to what we have listened to; punk, the 100 Club is going to be a big deal for us. Aidan: I’ve got a list I made when I was 16. I wanted to play there. So, what can people expect when they see you live? Al: It’s kind of a bit of a crazy, weird show. I do stupid stuff all the time. I’m always kind of on the top of P.A.s, parting the crowd into two sections and making them do stuff, crowd surfing and just general idiot stuff, but I never intend to do it… Every night I think, ‘I’m going to take it easy tonight, this is too much.’ And every night I’m doing something like splitting my trousers. We’ve got these suits that we wear. Mine’s ruined.
The Computers Interview By Meaghan Kilroy & Haley Wise
With their second album, Love Triangles, Hate Squares due out at the end of the month, Exeter’s five-piece band, The Computers, sat down with us to discuss vegetarianism, suiting up and the formation of a real-life love triangle. Your new album has been described as a progression of sound. How would you describe your sound on Love Triangles, Hate Squares? Al: We sounded just like rock ‘n’ roll on the first album. We were kind of crazy, screaming over the top and now this new record is kind of like rock ‘n’ roll, stuff like bands like Jim Joe’s Revue, stuff like that, but it’s also weird, kind of like white boy soul, like northern soul and Motown, if it was played by a bunch of white boys from Devon, who grew up listening to punk. The album title Love Triangles, Hate Squares is also a title track. Was there a real love triangle involved here? Al: Basically, I stood at the end of a bar in Exeter called the Cavern Club and I was watching my friend, who sat with another guy, an acquaintance of mine, who then sat with this girl, who they both desperately wanted to go out with… I just wrote down on a piece of paper, ‘Love Triangles, Hate Squares.’ And that was it. What was it like working with Mark Neill on this album? Your first album was produced by John Reis. Al: [Neill and Reis] they’re really different and really similar in other ways. They actually are acquaintances;
Speedo (Reis), is like, ‘Whatever. Do whatever. Get out. Play as hard and as fast and weird as you want’ Whereas Neill is much more used to playing with Nashville musicians. We ate a lot of food with Neill. With Speedo we recorded the whole album in four days and with Neill we gave up four days worth of recording going out to dinner. Both of your albums were recorded in the United States. The first one in San Diego, California, the second in Valdosta, Georgia. We’ve got to ask: which state did you like better? California or Georgia? Nice: As far as being vegetarians, which three of us are, it was generally better in California. In Georgia we really struggled. We ended up going out to dinner and just eating like side dishes of everything because we couldn’t get any meal that was vegetarian. Any gigs coming up that you’re particularly excited for? Al: The 100 Club. That’s my one show I could pick out. It’s a strange one because I really want to play there but I always like to think places don’t really matter
Do you wear the same suits to every show? Al: We have been so far but they’re not going to last. Since the start of the new album campaign we’ve been in these suits. We always dressed in uniform anyway, kind of like a group identity thing. We saw it originally as a sort of dressing down. Instead of wearing your best new coolest shirt we sort of wore the opposite of that. We wore like the worst stuff we could wear and then I had the thought one day, ‘I’m tired of looking like this.’ We’ve go to move onto suits. Nic: Kind of like keeping with the sound. Change the sound, change the look. Al: As Joe Strummer said, ‘Like trousers, like brain.’ Tight and fitted.
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Art
WUWO ISSUE No12 31
Explorer
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RUSSELL WEST Since going professional in 1990, Russell has been commissioned and exhibited internationally. His intensely coloured paint-drip creations each take up to a year to create through repeatedly applying layers of paint on to wire, allowing the work in part to be defined by the natural effects of gravity. March saw Russell’s work exhibited in New York very successfully, selling a large amount of the featured pieces. His work is currently on show at the Woolff gallery in London. www.woolffgallery.co.uk
Above: Sunshine Below: Somewhere
Above: Tondo Landscape Below: Self portrait 2
WUWO ISSUE No12 32
DIY
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WUWO Magazine, Enemy of Boredom, brings you a special spy edition of DIY this month. Our suggestion is to brighten up a dowdy Monday with some subterfuge and sneaking; fake beards are, of course, always recommended. A periscope is the go-to tool for snooping about; you can use it to peak around corners or over surfaces you’re hiding behind. If you’re going to be investigating and spying, it’s a good idea to blend in to your surroundings. When outdoors,
You Will Need 2 empty rectangular milk or fruit juice cartons, 1 Litre size Scissors/ sharp knife 2 small mirrors A pen or pencil Duct tape Something to measure angles.
putting some camouflage gear and face paint on should do the trick (see the Army recruitment adverts and GI Joe dolls for inspiration). Whilst inside, choose clothing in colours matching the paint on the walls.
Hollow Book
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If you’re going to be a spy, you’re going to need somewhere to hide your secrets. It is a well-known fact that no one ever expects anything to be hidden in Crime and Punishment, other than tedious Russian nihilism. Obviously you can choose any title, although books about kittens are also fairly inconspicuous. If you wish to use the hollow book to store spy notes to yourself, lemon juice and vinegar are classic invisible inks, which cannot be detected until heated. Use a cocktail stick or emptied out pens to write messages.
You Will Need A hardback book, quite thick A Craft knife Glue Sponge brush
Method Open the book about thirty pages in. Using your sponge brush, glue the remaining edges of the pages of the book, being liberal with the glue and allowing it to soak through.
Take your craft knife and carefully cut downwards into the book, right through to the back cover, in a straight line around 2cm from the edge of the page on all sides, so that you make a rectangle.
Another way of doing it is to start at the back and glue the outside edges of every page together, leaving some pages at the top unglued (to disguise your book as a book).
Remove insides. If you want you can glue the inside edges of your hollow book, using your sponge brush. Allow to dry.
Allow glue to dry.
Method Cut a square viewing area at the bottom of a carton, leaving a 10mm border at the bottom and sides. Cut the top off each carton.
Gently slide a mirror into the carton facing the viewing area and secure with tape at a 45-degree angle (you should be able to see through the top of the carton from the viewing area). Repeat the above steps with the other carton. Tape the two open ends of the carton together, so that the mirrors are parallel. Check that you can see through the periscope, if not re-adjust the mirrors.
Store all spy related gear in here. Make sure no one sees you using it. For added security store hollow book in a safe.
YOUR CHANCE TO WIN WUWO HAS THREE BLUE-RAY COPIES OF THE LIFE OF PI TO GIVEAWAY THIS MONTH. THOSE WISHING TO GET THEIR HANDSON A COPY SHOULD EMAIL THEIR CONTACT INFORMATION TO: INFO@WUWOMAGAZINE.COM WITH THE SUBJECT "LIFE OF PI".
WUWO ISSUE No12 35
WUWO ISSUE No12 34
FOOD
WUWO’s Menu Culinary Gone Crazy The Feeding Tube Diet Fad diets can get pretty crazy and generally involve forcing your body to go through something that is neither natural nor comfortable but the feeding tube diet takes it to a whole new level. Given its name, it doesn’t take too much imagination to figure out the general idea of this diet. The dieter (who swiftly becomes the patient) has a tube inserted into them that would usually be used when a person is unable to eat solids; a nasogastric tube that leads from the nose to the stomach. This tube delivers fats, protein and water to the patient from a solution which they carry on them.
Cocktail of the Month Flatliner Layered Shot Most people reserve the mix of Tequila and Sambucca for nightmares and drinking games, but the Flat liner shouldn’t be feared. This odd combination with a dash of Tabasco sauce creates a fiery yet likeable shot. If you are feeling brave/stupid, replace the Tabasco sauce with chilli oil or seeds and proceed to write your stomach a letter of apology.
Brew By Numbers (London) 01|02 Amarillo and Orange Saison 5.4%
Although this spring hasn’t yet sprung, that’s no reason to ignore the fact that it’s saison season. Saison is a Belgian farmhouse-style beer; light, fizzy and refreshing with a hint of fruit or spice. The recent Spring Saison festival at The Cock Tavern in Hackney, celebrated this beer-style in style, with Bermondsey’s latest brewery, Brew By Numbers, bringing the tastiest addition to a fine line up. Brew By Numbers’ 01|02 was a late comer to the festival, with carbonation issues in the cellar meaning it only got a limited run. I got my half, which ended up a quarter by the time the crowd had had tasters, and found the hint of seville orange to be really quite special. The flavour was so delicate and delicious that it almost tasted of lychee. Fool your body and sip on this taste of spring.
Historical Eating Habits By Meaghan Kilroy
Ingredients: Tequila Sambuca Tabasco sauce Lasting eight to ten days, the person undertaking this diet has no solids, and the solution they take via the tube provides them with 800 calories a day. This diet can only be provided by a doctor, as the tube has to be inserted professionally, and the proper solution provided. The body is forced into a state of ketosis, where it burns fat for energy. The regime is extreme, and patients can lose up to 10% of their body weight. The diet has been slammed as dangerous – what would happen if the feeding tube became dislodged, for instance? There are also serious health implications, including potential liver and kidney damage. Whilst most fad diets are laughable, it is questionable whether a patient of this diet would even have the ability to laugh. It seems strange to even consider whether or not such extreme lengths should ever be gone to in the world of weight loss.
How to Make It: 1. Pour Sambuca into the shot glass, filling it about half way. 2. Fill a regular spoon with ½ teaspoon of Tabasco sauce. 3. Slowly pour or drip the Tabasco down the side of the shot glass so it layers on top of Sambuca instead of mixing in. 4. Measure out a half shot of Tequila and pour it over the backside of the spoon to layer it on top of the Tabasco. 5. Take shot, breath fire.
How To Eat Like An Ancient Egyptian
Tiger Nut Sweets Recipe
The presence of the Nile Valley and Delta might have meant that Egyptians ate better than anyone else in the ancient world. The rich, fertile soil was ideal for growing crops. In the predynastic period especially, game and fish were abundant.
Ingredients:
However, bread and beer were the staples of the ancient Egyptian diet, although those products hardly resembled the ones we consume today. Egyptian bread was hard and gritty and often wore down one’s teeth. Beer looked something like gruel. It was cloudy, contained solids and was thought to be highly nutritious. Other items on the ancient Egyptian menu included hummus, chickpeas and pita — products we are familiar with today. The rich consumed cattle beef, while the poor dined on geese, ducks and other fowl. Animals we would consider exotic today, like antelope and gazelle, also made it onto Egyptian tables. Dates, although commonly regarded as a fruit, doubled as a sweetener in ancient times, making their way into items like bread, candy and even wine.
1 cup fresh dates, pits removed ¼ cup water 1 tsp. ground cinnamon ½ cup walnuts, chopped 1½ cups honey 1 cup almonds, finely ground
To prepare: 1. Blend the dates in a bit of water. 2. Add cinnamon and chopped walnuts, and roll into balls. (If too dry, add a little more water.) 3. Dip each ball in a bowl of honey and roll around a bit, then remove with a spoon and roll once again, this time in the almonds. 4. Place on a cookie sheet lined with waxed paper until ready to serve. (Refrigerate if not serving immediately. If they seem too sticky to handle when serving, roll them in a bit of powdered sugar.) Yield: 24 balls Recipe from cookingwiththebible.com
TRAVEL
WUWO ISSUE No12 36 There is a wonderful market located off Las Ramblas called Mercat de la Boqueria. The vendors along the rim of the market are a bit pricey (€3 for a piece of candy). But if you dig a little bit deeper you’ll be able to find cheap produce, snacks and juices.
By Meaghan Kilroy
In the evening, most of the action is centered around Las Ramblas. However, students and others traveling on a budget should explore the streets adjacent to it. Areas like the Gothic District and El Raval contain many bars with reasonably priced drinks. In the evening most of the action is centered around Las Ramblas. However, students and others traveling on a budget should explore the streets adjacent to it. Areas like the Gothic District and El Raval contain many bars with reasonably priced drinks.
BARCELONA NIGHT LIFE L'Ovella Negra
The name Gaudi seems to be synonymous with Barcelona these days. Don’t believe me? Stop some tourists in the street and ask them what they’re in Barcelona for. The next word to fall from their mouths will be Gaudi. Seriously, I’m surprised the city is still called Barcelona. Why go through the hassle of naming your travel guide, “A Guide to Gaudi’s Barcelona” when a simple “A Guide to Gaudi” would do? Gaudi, Spain… I rather like the sound of that. So, who is this Gaudi character and does he have anything to do with the term ‘gaudy’? Gaudi was a Spanish architect who gave Barcelona the international reputation it enjoys today. His workflow went something like this: take an object in nature, lets say a pinecone, translate it into a spire and then leave that spire partially constructed for 100 or so years.
Another way to get your Gaudi fix is to visit Parc Guell. Situated on the hill of El Carmel, Park Guell offers sweeping views of the city and coast. On a clear day you’ll be able to make out Sagrada Familia in the distance. I knew those bright orange cranes were there for a reason.
Back to the pinecones. I’m talking about one of Gaudi’s most celebrated works, La Sagrada Familia, which has been under construction since 1882. Access to these hallowed halls does not come cheap. Admission to Sagrada Familia is about €13 and it’s several Euros more if you want to access the towers).
One of the best features of Parc Guell (aside from the views, Gaudi’s gingerbread houses and mosaic reptiles) is that it’s accessible by escalator. That’s right. Outdoor escalators are a thing. My experience with escalators has almost always been unpleasant but this was not the case with El Carmel Hill. The cool breeze, combined with the rapid speed at which these escalators ascended, made this the most enjoyable escalator ride I had ever experienced. Still though, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near this hill when it rains. A Gaudi-less Barcelona
I decided to spend the €13. The cathedral is truly magnificent, once you look past all of the cranes and scaffolding. From the street it looks like a Gothic cathedral in the middle of a giant loft conversion. However, the interior is illuminated by natural light, which is a rare find when it comes to Gothic architecture. The white walls and honeycomb ceiling assist the windows in illuminating the church.
IIf Gaudi mania is wearing you out, you can escape it! Head over to Las Ramblas, also known as Barcelona’s backbone. This pedestrian mall runs from Placa Catalunya to Port Vell (near the cruise ship port) and boasts an array of shops and restaurants but be aware that some of the restaurants and bars in and around Las Ramblas inflate their prices. Clearly, they’re aware that their location makes them attractive to tourists.
Are his works gaudy? That you can decide for yourself.
Walk into this bar on a Friday night and you'll hear a dozen languages being exchanged. The cheap sangria, long tables and cavelike rooms it a favourite among university students and budget tourists. Located in El Raval, one of Barcelona's nightlife hubs, you can stop at L'Ovella Negra for a drink and spend the rest of your night hopping in and out of charming bars.
Espit Chupito A tiny bar that boasts over 500 types of shots priced at €2 each, the presentation here is fantastic. One person can be consuming a shot that's been lit on fire, while their partner is downing one's that's been topped with whipped cream. Other popular menu items include the Monica Lewinsky shot and the Harry Potter shot..
Cafe Royale Located just off from Placa Reail, Cafe Royale is regarded as an "oasis of luxury" in an otherwise rundown part of town. The orange sofas, warm lighting and relaxed vibe attract tourists and locals alike. Expect to hear soul, funk and bossa tunes pouring out of Cafe Royale well into the evening.
TV - STAR
WUWO ISSUE No12 38
By Steven Godwin
Shazad’s roles have varied massively; from data analyst for MI6 in Spooks, a doctor in a psychiatric ward in My Mad Fat Diary and now a Sikh momma’s boy, stuck in a love triangle. WUWO met up with Shazad to discuss his lead role in Sky Living’s A Nice Arrangement. How did you get into acting? I’ve been obsessed with films since a very young age. When I was really young that’s what I wanted to be doing. As a kid we’d be writing and filming our own stuff. Is what you’re writing at the moment completely different to the stuff that you act in? Yeah it is very very different, we’ve written a couple of different things; we’ve written a really dark comedy; then a really absurd comedy pilot. We’ve written films and a family drama. It is not very marketable or sellable but its fun to write anyway. Can you tell me a little bit about A Nice Arrangement, which is hitting Sky Living in April? What is the plot? I play a character called Sat; he’s a British Sikh and Meera Syal plays my mom; she’s brilliant and really fun to work with. I play a guy who is in love with this British woman called Suzanna but no one knows about it and he has been telling his mom that he’s going to marry a Sikh girl. So, in the end, he ends up getting engaged to two women by the end of the episode! It was great fun to do some northern accents, which is completely different to previous work. How are you with accents? I’ve always been able to do that one, I remember just copying it from really young. I’ve got family up north, so it was always one of those ones you got in your pocket. We filmed the scenes in Manchester as well, so that helps with getting the accent but I pulled my hamstring on the second day of shooting, so the whole process involved a lot of hobbling around. So you had to carry on working with 1 ½ working legs? When it happened everything went silent for a while, then panic, then we sorted everything out. I had to continue everyday and I had to do a long running shot by the end of the week! I had to just do it and hope it looked ok. It was good fun. Your role in Spooks lasted around two years; did it feel longer or shorter? It’s a long time but at the same
time it wasn’t. It sometimes felt long on my days filming but I got a lot of time off actually. Before your role in Spooks you came second in the auditions for the main role in Slum Dog Millionaire, how did that feel? Yeah that was way before when I was 18. Looking back, I feel gutted but at the time I didn’t really know how big the film was going to be. It was great to just even experience auditions with Danny Boyle. I was very young, hadn’t done anything before and had no experience. I just wasn’t right for the part. I’ve come close to so many things, so I’m just getting more patient. How is it changing from a serious role in spooks to comedy roles? I’ve done a lot of comedy stuff really and it varies. Straight after Spooks I did something playing a punk band front man, which was really fun. I played a miniature part in Charlie Brooker’s first season of Black Mirror and then an E4 show called Kabadasses, which is a really absurd show about an Indian sport. Does it take you a while to prepare for a new character? Well, with the comedy stuff, it’s quite different I suppose. A lot of things you just have to learn on the day or on the set, especially if it is someone else’s comedy; you have just got to go with them and let the director work. Are you into any particular type of music? I’m pretty obsessed with film, I just watch a lot of film, play a lot of football and do a lot of writing; these three things take up the vast majority of my time. Can you recommend any great films that you’d put on everyone’s to-see list? The Separation is one of my favorite films; it has just come out and it has won the Oscar for best foreign language film, it’s a great Iranian film. A Nice Arrangement airs on Sky Living, 11th April
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