WUWO Magazine Edition 22

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The Enemy of Boredom

o N 22 ISSUE

FREE Every Month February – March 8th 2014 Edition wuwomagazine.com facebook.com/whatsupwhatson twitter.com/whatsupwhatson

John Robins|Pramface|Hunt Sabotaging Neil Davidge|Space Sexploration COMEDY

FOOD

FASHION GAMING

MUSIC SCIENCE


SU N DAY 30TH M A RCH 2014

S U N D A Y 3 0 T H M A R C H 2 0 14


N O I T I T COMPE

COMPETITION

WUWO Magazine Contributors WUWO Media

WUWO’s Snowballing Bundle Competition

Hunt Sabotaging – Part 1 12 Investigation: WUWO reporter Nicole Auckland spent a day with a local anti-hunting organisation as they document, follow and sabotage a Surrey Union Hunt to find out more about the sides, the law and motivations.

While starting as a snowball, every month we add to this bundle until it’s an avalanche hurtling towards your front door. To enter simply drop an email to competition@wuwomagazine.com quoting “SNOWBALL” in the title.

16 Music: Neil Davidge/Larry Tee

Larry Tee’s culturally infused electronic album, ‘Super Electric Party Machine’ boasts a wide range of acts, many too funky to mention. Ex-Massive Attack writer and Producer Neil Davidge reveals details of his debut solo album, technique and gaming.

Snowball so far:

20 Retronaut: Famous Fancy Dress

WeSC PISTON BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE These £80 high quality wireless headphones are immensely user-friendly and come with an incredible battery life. wesc.com

Going to a costume party dressed as yourself is just as much of a letdown when you’re famous, but thinking of something cooler than your day job as a cosmonaut or boxing champion can be tough.

22 TV: Pramface – Scarlett Alice Johnson Following two successful series, BBC Three sitcom Pramface is set to return to our screens in early 2014. WUWO caught up with Scarlett Alice Johnson to discuss comedy, personal highlights and Angus Deayton’s dance moves.

EAR CANDY RADIO JINGLE Spruce up your answerphone message with a completely original and personalised radio jingle made by the professional radio jingle generators at Ear Candy Radio.

28 Comedy: John Robins/Ross McGrane Charismatic comedian and near-scrabblechampion John Robins talks about his latest tour ‘Where Is My Mind’, gout and being heckled with sex toys. WUWO chatted with Ross regarding Essex, Bahrain and Beating the Gong.

34 Science: Space Sexploration

Boldly going where no man has gone before has never been harder, golf, playing guitar, funerals, getting drunk and going to gigs have all been ticked off, so if you want to get your name in the space record books you’re going to have to get dirty.

ROCAWEAR SHIRT AND WeSC PISTON BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES T-SHIRT (IN MEDIUM)

This spacey ‘Far From Earth’ t-shirt is from Rocawear’s Universe collection while The name WeAreTheSuperlativeConspiracy symbolizes the lumberjack what WeSC as a brand and company represents: a group style long sleeve shirt is a and family of good, competent people working toward classic from Rocawear. the same ideal. Offering men’s and women’s, including a full range of collection pieces, accessories, premium rocawear-europe.com denim and headphones, WeSC is a recognized leader in ABOUT WeSC:

Freedom is something that we all strive for and if we have it, cherish. With that in mind, we present to you the Piston Bluetooth headphone, our first Bluetooth headphone. Taking the smooth design from our Piston headphone we have removed the cables to give you the freedom you deserve. Freedom from cable knots, freedom from your handset, freedom to move, run, skate or whatever you do whilst wearing them. With 10 hours listening time, user friendly controls and built in mic, the Piston Bluetooth gives you all you would expect technically and is all bundled up with that great WeSC aesthetic. The Piston Bluetooth comes in x3 colours, Black, Red and Navy and retails at £80.

streetfashion. WeSC was founded in 1999 and is today available in more than 25 countries. www.wesc.com For more information on WeSC, contact: SALES: DAVID.COLWILL@WESC.COM MARKETING: PETER.TURVEY@WESC.COM PR: KERRIE@RADIATORPR.COM

Regulars 06 Top Picks

32 Fashion

37 Tech

08 Food

35 Game Play

38 Books

10 Art

36 Likes

39 Pub Talk

26 Gadgets

WeSC - the intellectual slackers worldwide Join the superlative conspiracy [For hi-res images & more information: wesc.com/press]

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Editor in Chief Steven Godwin Editor Jack Courtez Copy Editor Emma Goodwin Design & Illustration Marian Hutchinson Writers Aleesha Sharma Alex Chiejina Arden Bronstein Clinton Nguyen Emma Goodwin Ghazala Jabeen Lloyd Paige Matt Berg Matthew Cook Nicole Auckland Rebecca Perry Ruth O’Sullivan Sam Fresco Sara Hoque Sonal Khandelwal Tessa Hearle To get in contact about editorial requests: content@wuwomagazine.com Advertising requests: advertising@wuwomagazine.com WUWO Magazine is published monthly by WUWO Media. We try and make sure all our information is correct but details may be subject to change. Any physical submissions are sent at the owners risk and we will accept no responsibility for loss or damage. Nothing printed in WUWO Magazine can be copied or republished without our written permission.

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06

TOP PICKS

TOP PICKS

Top Picks Hand-picked, intriguing happenings, venues, clubs, shops and more from London and beyond. Vault Festival London The Vaults, Leake Street, Waterloo, London SE1 7NN January 28 – March 8, 22:00, £7.50+, 18+

The Telegraph Outdoor Adventure and Travel Show

Knock2Bag Present: Daniel Simonsen

Excel Centre, 1 Western Gateway, Royal Victoria Dock, London E16 1XL February 13-26, 09:00 – 20:00, £15-£20, free for under 16’s

Bar FM, 184 Hopgood Street, Shepherds Bush, London W12 7JU February 19, 19:30, £8.00, 18+

Sometime in February, if you head under Waterloo you’ll experience a massive array of art styles in a unique and unlikely environment. Vault Festival was a firm critic’s choice last year and its return in 2014 looks to be no different. Split into six week-long periods, the festival includes Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas adapted and directed by Lou Stein, The Cement Garden adapted by David Aula and Jimmy Osbo and Battleacts improvised comedy, as well as over 60 more events. With such a wide variety of live entertainment, you won’t find anything else quite like this.

An indoor event for people who prefer to be outdoors sounds like a hard sell until you see the massive range this show offers. Travelling, photography, climbing, water sports, exploring the British countryside and adventure equipment are all covered, alongside climbing walls, bush craft demonstrations, talks from famous travel writers and world-renowned explorers.

From Russell Howard’s Good News to the Simon Amstell tour via the Bethnal Green dole office, absurd and self-aware Norweigan comedian Daniel Simonsen takes to the stage to head an impressive onslaught of professional funny people. Knock2Bag squeezes a great range into one night with acts including Tom Davis, Joseph Morpurgo, Brian Gittins, Jonny & The Baptists, Don Biswas and Aisling Bea.

Dead Prez

1984

Plug in Your Brain: Talking Drugs

Soul Train Saturday

Jazz Café, 5 Parkway, Camden Town, London NW1 7PG February 9, 19:00, £18.50, 18+

Almeida Theatre, Almeida Street, London N1 1TA, February 13 – March 29, 14:30/19:30, £8-£32

The Cinema, 309 Regent St, London W1B 2UW February 20, 18:30, free

Carriage 34, 34 Lower Marsh, Waterloo, London SE1 7RG, February 22, 21:00, free before 23:00, £10 after

Dead Prez emerged in 2000 as one of rap’s most politically strident outfits. Stic.Man & M-1’s music provides a sobering look at the global power structure and the struggle billions face each day. The New York duo will be returning to London for a rare performance to promote their new album ‘The Information Age’.

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” A new stage adaptation of one of the most influential, over-quoted and bleakest love stories ever written is a difficult task and a brave move by creators Robert Icke and Duncan Macmillan. Impressively, it has paid off and leaves audiences with the same spine-chilling shiver as the book, without reducing the project to a clichéd modern parallel. Five star reviews from every UK broadsheet further testify to its prowess in examining a stark warning from history.

A hero to those striving for an end to the war on drugs and a thorn in the side of consecutive governments, former chief drugs adviser Professor David Nutt gives a talk on his science-based approach to drug policy. Part of a series of talks organised by the University of Westminster’s Department of Psychology, find out why magic mushrooms should be taken for research and why MDMA is much more than a party drug. While entry is free, it is on a first come first served basis and queues are expected.

For better or worse, legal drinking on the tube is long gone, leaving Soul Train as London’s only proprietors of train-based drinking. This concept uses the illusion of movement to create a vintage travel theme. Every Saturday Soul Train offers a late night of R&B, funky house, old skool and club classics alongside a selection of premium draught beers and an extensive cocktail menu. All aboard!

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08

FOOD AND DRINK 09

FOOD AND DRINK

Food and Drink Meat munching, street snacking and cocktail concocting content created to provide palates with delectable dishes.

Veggie Table The Veggie Table is run by husband and wife Adam and Anna Robertson, who have created a combination of healthy and delicious vegetarian and vegan food. The wholesome food on offer includes healthy veggie burgers, warm curries and soups, colourful salads and delectable sauces and dips. All dishes are produced using a combination of the best organic and locallysourced ingredients. Adam and Anna avoid ‘fake’

meat products such as tofu, quorn or manufactured soya proteins and rely instead upon flavoursome vegetables, beans, pulses, legumes, herbs and spices in order to expand flavours and develop wonderful hand-made meals. With something for everyone, this exciting selection of healthy food is definitely worth a taste, so head to Borough Market between Thursday and Saturday for some nutritional goodness.

What the Dickens! Suave Victorian-clad chaps Michael Quinn, Adam Bernstein and Dominic Rose run this splendid establishment, offering an array of delicious timehonoured recipes. Their famous bacon is salted and hung, while their back garden holds bees and a densely packed crop of fruit and veg. The lunchtime menu includes kedgeree, foot-long steak sandwiches, devilled rolled pork and devilled kidneys, as well as fine hand-ground coffee. The haddock used in their kedgeree is naturally smoked overnight in a traditional brick house to give it the best flavour possible and the wonderful sausages are made to a Victorian recipe. Talk about keeping within the time period! If you’re looking for an early morning platter of warm goodness, the tweedy besuited gents also serve a lovely English breakfast. Find them at KERB Kings Cross on a Friday and at the Chatsworth Road Market on a Sunday. wuwomagazine.com

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Cocktail of the Month: Coffee Chocolate Brain Freeze This thick and very smooth milkshake is just as comfortable as a dessert after a meal as it is in a cooled pitcher. Its rich, sweet flavours will give you the ultimate feeling of indulgence. Ingredients for one glass: ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

2 scoops of vanilla ice cream 25ml Baileys 25ml Tia Maria 250ml full fat milk 1tbsp cocoa powder 2 bourbon biscuits 50g of milk chocolate Whipped cream to top

Method: ● Slowly melt the milk chocolate in a glass bowl above

a pan of hot water

cocoa powder until smooth

into the mix while stirring

allowing at least 2cm space at the top

the outside in.

● Place biscuits in a bag and hit until crushed ● Blend the ice cream, Baileys, Tia Maria, milk and ● Slowly pour the melted milk chocolate and biscuits ● Pour into a hurricane glass or a glass tankard, ● Add the whipped cream on top in a spiral from

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ART EXPLORER

ART EXPLORER

Art Explorer One of the most influential British artists of the 20th century, Richard Hamilton (1922–2011) is widely regarded as a founding figure of pop art, who continued to experiment and innovate over a career spanning 60 years. This Tate Modern exhibition presents the first retrospective to encompass the full scope of Hamilton’s work, from his early exhibition designs of the 1950’s to his final paintings of 2011. This exhibition explores his relationship to design, painting, photography and television, as well as his engagement and collaborations with other artists. February 13 – May 26 Adult £14.50 (without donation £13.10) Concession £12.50 (without donation £11.30)

INTERIOR II 1964
Tate
 © The estate of Richard Hamilton

SWINGEING LONDON 67 (F) 1968-9
Tate
 © The estate of Richard Hamilton

THE CITIZEN 1981-3
Tate
 © The estate of Richard Hamilton

JUST WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES TODAY’S HOMES SO DIFFERENT, SO APPEALING? 1956 reconstructed in 1992
 CIBACHROME
COLLAGE
26 X 25 CM
PRIVATE COLLECTION
 © The estate of Richard Hamilton wuwomagazine.com

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12

HUNTING

HUNTING 13

Hunt Sabotaging

WUWO reporter Nicole Auckland spent a day with a local anti-hunting organisation as they document, follow and sabotage a Surrey Union Hunt to find out more about the sides, the law and motivations. Chasing horses on foot through woodland is not how most people spend their mornings, but the Guildford Hunt Saboteurs, or ‘sabs’, an anti-hunting organisation, do this twice a week, relying on local tip-offs for hunt details. Since the Hunting Act 2004, hunting wild mammals (excluding rabbits and rats) with dogs is illegal. However, following an artificial trail or flushing an unidentified mammal is not. Nor is searching for a mammal, but to chase it once found is illegal. Inadvertent hunting is not an offence. To be prosecuted, it must be proved the hunting was intentional. The sabs monitor hunts to support prosecution when offences are committed, and to raise awareness of issues surrounding hunting. Of the sabs I’m with, two have been sabotaging for thirty years. All have long been involved in animal welfare. Most have jobs, but use their leave to sabotage. The hunt secretary announces they’ve laid a trail, and they’ll be sticking to a small area. The sabs have

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an idea where the hunt is going, so we split up to try and cut them off. We comb the edge of the wood and see nothing besides a few straggling supporters. Unfortunately, we become spectacularly lost but over the radio the other sabs say they’ve caught up with the hunt. As long as someone’s with them, it doesn’t matter if we’re not. Eventually we find a path and see the hunt in the valley below us. The other sabs confirm the hunt is drawing wood: sending the hounds through to find. We also hear the hunt won’t allow the saboteurs near the hounds. The sabs say this is worrying because it suggests, although there’s no evidence, the hunt could be after wild foxes. The hunt canters up to where we’re waiting. We allow them to pass. There’s no point running after them because they’re only trying to wear us out – and apparently their horses too. This time, they’re easy to follow. Before long we see them crossing a road, where the sabs’ vehicle and the supporters are waiting. Evidently we’ve ruined their

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HUNTING

HUNTING 15

plan to keep the area small, as already they’ve come three miles from the meet. We’re offered tea in a terse exchange with the supporters. When we try to leave, we run into trouble: the supporters have blocked us in. We phone the police, but we’re told that no offence has been committed when they arrive fifteen minutes later. One officer says that, because of the nature of sabotage, we should expect trouble. Whilst we’re detained the hunt is unmonitored, so we’re anxious to get back after them. We find the hunt and two sabs follow whilst we intercept further along. At three o’clock, the hunt is called off. We leave as the supporters arrive. Debriefing later, the sabs decide “today wasn’t a great day. They were just running the whole time.” “A lot of sabotage is time.” Favourable conditions last four hours. “Drawing wood – getting the hounds together, drawing them through the wood and collecting them up again – takes about half an hour, so anytime you can bash half an hour out you’ve knocked them back.” The saboteurs need only appear for the hunt to stop. “Ideally you want to be with them one hundred percent of the time, but most days we only manage fifty to seventy percent.” Describing the effect of the fox hunting ban one sab states: “now it is more like a big orienteering exercise, it’s, ‘can we find them?’ and ‘can we keep up with them?’ Pre-ban it was lots of horn-blowing, tying up gates, directly calling the hounds off and spraying sprays,” – often Citronella, which calms dogs and blocks their scent glands. The saboteurs now follow the hunt, rather than intervene. I ask if they’ve had trouble from supporters. The sabs laugh and one says, “I got whipped by a woman. She just came up and whipped me.” They say vehicles have been attacked and female saboteurs harassed. “We’ve had a lot of problems.” And the police? wuwomagazine.com

“The presence of the police is half a good thing, half a bad thing.” At weekends, the sabs have officers with them. “By the fact that you have the police after you, the police are always close to the hunt, which the hunt doesn’t really enjoy. [Officers] say they’re only there to prevent a breach of peace between the saboteurs and the hunt.” Supporters claim hunting is humane, but a story from before the ban suggests otherwise: “This fox ran out, chased by terriers, trailing about ten foot of its intestines out behind it.” I ask what their proudest moment was: “Once, I had about eighty saboteurs with me, and we went sabotaging beagling” – hunting hares – “we went down to the beagle pack, and everyone picked up a beagle. We walked with about thirty beagles until the police caught up and told us to give them their dogs back. I’m fairly proud of that.” I also spoke with a spokesman for Surrey Union Hunt. When asked about the relationship between the two groups, he said, “We’ve had people abused, we’ve had people spat at, we’ve had a rider pulled off a horse, and we’ve had other people driven at by cars. It’s very difficult to have any sympathy for people who are acting illegally against a group of people who are acting legally… we’ve adapted, they haven’t.” I ask why the hunt avoids the saboteurs. “You always have at the back of your mind that something might kick off. We’re trying to avoid confrontation, whereas sometimes we feel that they’re actually trying to provoke confrontation. That’s why we try to avoid them.” Speaking about hunting before the ban, he said, “The vast majority of foxes we caught were old, injured, badly shot or hit by a car. I’m not saying that’s always the case but generally, in our country, the healthy fox nearly always gets away, because it can.”

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By Nicole Auckland @whatsupwhatson

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MUSIC 17

MUSIC

Neil Davidge

Since writing and producing for Massive Attack, Neil Davidge has worked on multiple well-known films and documentaries and composed the soundtrack for videogame blockbuster Halo 4. He’s also produced tracks for Mos Def, David Bowie and Manic Street Preachers. WUWO caught up with Davidge to talk about his latest challenge, his debut album ‘Slo Light’, where he mixes electronica, Bristol beats, orchestral music and more.

Can you tell us about ‘Slo Light’? I took a two-year break from the album to work on the big game score [Halo 4]. The original concept for me making the solo album was to make it half instrumental and half vocal and not make it particularly in your face. It’s relaxed and quite ambiguous. I’d been writing instrumental music for that two-year gap and became sick of writing it. I guess the album was born out of frustration from not working with vocalists for a while, not writing songs. The album is more direct; it’s more of what I want to say. What did it feel like coming back to your album after 2 years? You have to change your perspective from working for someone else because that’s a very different headspace. When you’re making your own album all those decisions rest on yourself and it’s for you to say ‘okay it’s the right direction, it’s finished’. That’s always been a tough one as I don’t think I’ve ever finished a piece of music in my life!

The Halo soundtracks have developed a cult following since their inception. What attracted you to the opportunity? I had a lot of time in the studio, so I played Halo and I got hooked right from the start. It became one of those things that I did in the studio when I hit a bit of a road block or I needed a break. When my management mentioned that there was a potential game score coming through I thought in my head ‘wouldn’t it be great if it was Halo’. They said ‘it’s a game, have you heard of Halo?’ and I went ‘Yeah, course I have, I’ve been playing it for years. I’m a huge fan of that game!’

What made you choose to use an orchestral element for your solo album? The sound of the orchestra is very beautiful and there’s so much you can do with that. I love the contrast between the organic and the electronic. I get excited when twisting different sounds with bits of gear and there’s something about that real honest connection you get with an orchestra.

Are there any opportunities that have fallen through that you’ve been disappointed about? I can’t think of anything specific off the top of my head. Sometimes I’ll write a great piece of music I’m really happy with and send it to the film or game company or the artist and they don’t get it. To some people it’s frustrating but I just go ‘ok cool’ and put it to one side.

‘Slo Light’ has a really immersive sound. You work in your own studio but you’ve spoken of people recording in their bedrooms and basements before. Have you got any tips for bedroom producers? When it comes to technology people need to experiment. That’s an important thing. When you’ve finished experimenting you just need to listen to what you’ve done and compare it to what other people have done. Eventually you’ll find your way through that and find a more professional way of presenting your music. You need to be respective and not closed off.

You’ve thrown away a lot of tracks in past, for example 150 whilst working on one album with 100th Window. How does that feel? Do you recycle and bring back some elements you disregarded on future tracks? You put that stuff in the archives, in a folder on your computer. I’m working on a film score at the moment and there have been a couple of things when I watched the movie and I thought ‘hang on there was something I did five years ago that would work well’. You play it up against the screen and it works. It would be great if someone would dig out all that stuff from 100th Window and do some mixes with it and put it out as an album. We did throw away a lot of good music!

Do you ever come back after an album release kicking yourself and asking whether there was something that could have been added? No. Whenever I’ve worked on a project for any length of time I’ll always give myself at least three months before I listen to it again and sometimes I don’t go back to listen to it again! It can become quite difficult to get yourself out of that head space when you’re getting to that point when you need to finish it. Do you miss working within a group? Well I always work with other people. There are periods when I’m working with a band but I’m actually working on my own and I’ve always done that. With Massive Attack the guys would come in and we’ll spend some time throwing some ideas around but there’ll always been a hefty period during the day when I’ll be on my own in the studio editing stuff that I’ve done or others have done. Everything I do is to some degree collaborating with other people but also to some degree I like to lock myself away in my studio. wuwomagazine.com

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You’re a bit of a creature of the night, you like to record in the darkness and not in the day. How does that affect working with other people? It’s something I’ve tried to get myself out of the habit of but it’s a difficult one to shift! It’s not very good for relationships. It’s a process that I do enjoy but it does get to you. I feel most creative on the other end of the day.

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How important was it growing up in Bristol in terms of influences? I think it’s been essential really. I never really felt the need to move away from Bristol for my career. There was a poll done by musicians around the country and Bristol is apparently the place where musicians feel most comfortable being and creating. It’s eclectic; it’s a real mixture of influences. You said that Punk taught you that you don’t need to understand the academic side of music to make great noise. Is this still an ethos you stick to? I can’t read music, but I’ve learnt a lot about the language of music every year just through experience. Getting thrown in there with an orchestra is a tough one for someone who can’t read music. I’ve built up that knowledge over the years to the point that I can feel converse with classically trained musicians in such a way that they can get what I’m after.

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MUSIC 19

MUSIC

An Interview with

Larry Tee

Electroclash pioneer, Larry Tee’s culturally-infused electronic album, ‘Super Electric Party Machine’ boasts a wide range of acts including Roxy Cottontail, AttackAttackAttack, Nwando and drag queen phenomenon Sharon Needles, along with others too funky to mention. WUWO caught up with Larry Tee and talked music, fashion and what it takes to be a rock star. What’s in store for us in ‘Super Electric Party Machine’? This is like the sounds that excite me now. There are influences from rap, trap, old school house and all those ear-popping sounds that I can mix in with artists I think are hot. What was so special about Electroclash? I think electroclash was really unique because there were lots of women and it was really political. It didn’t matter if you were straight or gay, didn’t matter if you were a dude or a girl. The first single of your upcoming album Boys That Go Woot! is colourful and playful yet mature. Are the other tracks on the album similar? They aren’t similar. It’s funny because since I started there’s always been a certain aesthetic. Even with my first hit with RuPaul (Supermodel), it was always about what was happening culturally.

To me all the best new rockstars are rappers like Mykki Blanco, Leaf, Brooke Kandi, Iggy Azalea, Azealia Banks, ASAP Rocky. There’s a lot of rap on my collection and Boys That Go Woot! is one of the funnier, nastier songs. And I like nasty. If you want to keep my attention just make it nasty. There are a lot of collaborators on your new album, how did that contribute to the creative process? There’s a list of people I thought of as hot. When I’m defining rock stars I think of alternative rappers, reality TV stars and designers too. I thought of how I could meld different things happening in the culture. There’s this reality TV star in America named Sharon Needles, who won the RuPaul Drag Race TV show. It has tons of fans all over the world, everything from moms to naughty teenagers. She’s the bad girl of the new American drag, kind of evil. She was really drunk when we did the recording of Supermodel INC so it was really complicated with all her crazy energy to get her in the room and try to get a workable vocal out. In the long run, to me, you can hear the danger and trouble it took to get her on and I think a little bit of danger and trouble makes something exciting.

I like artists that are like a poke in the eye but are a lot kind of hot too. How would you describe your album in three words? Sexy. Rapping, Electronica. It’s hard to say in three words but it’s always naughty. As soon as I get nasty somebody like Sean Garrett would recycle my work for Rihanna, Britney would use Work Bitch. Madonna had some of my intellectual property on her last album. To be honest the nastier I get the more people want it. How does fashion play into your music? My biggest record, Supermodel (You Better Work), which launched RuPaul, is sort of the ‘I’m too sexy for the 90’s’. Fashion has been like the dirty secret in music. No one wants to talk about how music and fashion are inseparable. To me it’s like the elephant in the room and I cannot escape it. For the very best of Larry Tee live and direct, hit the Eastbloc in Islingston on a Friday night.

This Month in History

1882

1990

1917

1985

On February 11th aged 77, Nelson Mandela was finally released from prison after serving 27 years of a life sentence. Mandela was charged with attempting to overthrow the South African apartheid government. After his release he immersed himself in official talks to end white minority rule and in 1991 was elected the president of the African National Congress. Mandela and President FW de Klerk jointly won the Nobel Prize in 1994 and he was also inaugurated South Africa’s first democratically elected President.

Within one week in February 1917, Tsarist Russian came to an end. The powerful Romanov family were overthrown and the mighty Bolsheviks stood to serve out their Communist ideology to the people of Russia. Tsar Nicholas II’s decision to fight with the allies in the First World War led to defeat, huge military costs and civilian casualties. The stability of the Russian government waned and the bizarre career of Rasputin inflamed the situation, causing unforeseeable damage. With the Monarchy booted, the Bolsheviks revved their engines and steered towards power.

When you open your takeaway pizza box and gaze at the doughy goodness inside, have you ever wondered who invented the special little table in the middle, preventing your pizza from getting squashed? You can thank Carmela Vitale for your pizza’s protection! Her quick thinking has allowed millions to enjoy the full benefit of a wholesome pizza, without licking off pepperoni stuck to the top of the box. Those little tables have gone on to serve us as small egg holders, tiny garden furniture for your Barbie and torture devices placed on the kitchen floor to be stepped on by an unsuspecting sibling.

Person: Release of Nelson Mandela

Birth: James Joyce Poet and novelist James Joyce was one of the most influential writers of the modern avant-garde period of the 20th century. Joyce is noted for his experimental use of language, his extensive use of interior monologue, his use of symbolic parallels drawn from mythology, history and literature and his invention of words, puns and allusions. His most noted and celebrated work Ulysses is now considered a masterpiece. He also wrote Dubliners, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and Finnegans Wake. wuwomagazine.com

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Event: Russian Revolution

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Patent: Pizza Saver

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20

RETRONAUT

RETRONAUT

Retronaut

ALFRED HITCHCOCK AS THE BEATLES We’re guessing he did it for The Birds.

Famous Fancy Dress Going to a costume party dressed as yourself is just as much of a letdown when you’re famous, but thinking of something cooler than your day job as a cosmonaut or boxing champion can be tough.

JOHN WAYNE AS A FLUFFY PINK RABBIT

DAVID BOWIE AS PONTIUS PILOT

Here’s an insight into John’s life when he wasn’t making racist remarks and acting like a cowboy.

From The Last Temptation of Christ – a 1988 fictional drama film directed by Martin Scorsese.

JOHN LENNON AS SUPERMAN This famous Beetle dresses up as a man from Across the Universe.

YURI GAGARIN AS NEPTUNE The first man to visit deep space visits the deep seas for a day.

MUHAMMAD ALI AS ELVIS On March 31, 1974, Ali entered the ring wearing the new robe before fighting Ken Norton. The television commentator said “‘that robe was given by Elvis Presley at his last fight in Las Vegas. It cost around $3000.00 and it’s Ali’s pride and joy. On the back it says ‘The People’s Choice’ in rhinestones and jewels and he loves it.”

ALBERT EINSTEIN AS A HOPI NATIVE AMERICAN While taken at Hopi House in 1931, the headdress and pipe are actually from the Plains Native American culture.

Ali lost the fight and never again wore the robe, considering it bad luck.

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CELEBRITY 23

Following two successful series, BBC Three Sitcom Pramface is set to return to our screens in early 2014. WUWO caught up with Scarlett Alice Johnson to chat comedy, her personal highlights of series three and Angus Deayton’s dance moves.

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CELEBRITY 25

CELEBRITY

You play a young girl in Pramface who decides to keep her baby after falling pregnant, what first attracted you to playing this part? I read the first couple of episodes and to be honest, I just thought it was really funny. Chris Reddy, who is our writer, is a really talented guy and it was very well observed humour. I really liked the relationship between the families, as well as between Laura and Jamie – both their families are quite different. It leaves a lot of room for some great, classic kind of comedy set-ups. What was your personal highlight when recording series three? We only had one full day with the entire cast on set altogether. Now it’s the third season and we know each other so well, that was my favourite day because we were all together in one location for the entire day. We were filming a kid’s party and there were loads of balloons and stuff about and we all became like school children really. The following day in that location, I was still there filming something else, I went into a drawer and found a cocktail stick – one of those giant ones you put on the barbecue which was full of chicken and marshmallow and other things. It absolutely stank and I realised Dylan, who plays Mike, had hidden it for me to find the next day. The whole set really smelt and I was like “what’s that smell?” and realised he’d hidden something in the drawer. You mentioned that you’d been sent off set on your first day because you couldn’t control your laughter, what caused this? The cast are funny! Ben (Keith) is a stand-up anyway and Dylan and Sean (Mike and Jamie) are just really funny people. Anna (Janet) is an absolute character, she’s just brilliant. It’s the combination of all those people - we all genuinely get on as really good mates. We’re all meant to crack on and get on with stuff at work and inevitably we don’t, we sit about making silly faces trying to make each other laugh. Occasionally someone sends you off set and says to you “you really need to concentrate now!” Have there been any repeats of this since? No – I was shamed that day so I’ve had to try and curb my enthusiasm a little bit. Ben has been known to fart once or twice on set, which is never handy! But I’m lucky actually, because my storyline often gets quite a bit more – as well as the humour, there’s a really sensitive side. I get the best of both worlds. Sean and I get to do some very lovely, heart-felt scenes as well, so it’s not just having a laugh. You also mentioned that you wanted to avoid clichés relating to teen pregnancy and not let the show take itself too seriously, do you feel like you’ve achieved this? Our writers are really clever and I think on the whole, it’s been really well received. It’s been handled with a really lovely and naturally very difficult balance of sensitivity and humour, which I’m really proud of and I think it’s really refreshing. I think there’s so much doom and gloom and kitchen-sink type stuff about that kind of a topic. It’s really nice to see a young couple not making a fool of themselves wuwomagazine.com

not getting it wrong, but in their own kind of way, doing really well and getting it right. I think that’s the important thing - they are really good parents, in spite of everything. They’re brilliant and they’re bringing their daughter up really well and I’m really proud of that yeah. In the series three trailer, Angus Deayton’s dancing takes up a lot of screen time, is his dancing as good in person? That was a great day! His dancing is amazing, he was meant to be sort of doing a bit of a wiggle, and it became more and more of a serious jig, and then it got really silly because he was effectively dancing to no music. He knew what the song was going to be so he was doing it with that in mind and in that scene I’m meant to turn the music off. In one take he was enjoying his imaginary music and dancing so much that he continued to dance; it kept rolling and eventually someone shouted cut and was like “Angus, you’re obviously really enjoying this dance but you’re meant to stop.” We also see Jamie (Sean Verey) boldly unshaved in denim hot pants, were they as tight as they looked? I wasn’t on set for that but the costume supervisor text me a screenshot of the monitor of Sean in his hot pants and I genuinely thought that it was spam porn coming through on my phone! I didn’t even look at it, I just got the little image and was like “oh my goodness”. I then obviously realised it was from the costume supervisor and then looked at it and was like “that’s Sean!” That was a good storyline. You started out doing a lot of dramatic work and it seems lately with shows such as Pramface, Beaver Falls and Big Bad World, you’ve moved more into comedy. Was this transition intentional? No, not really. I think as an actor you’re kind of at the mercy of everyone else and what they want to use you for. I’d always wanted to do a bigger variety, like everyone does obviously and I am not, by any means, done with dramatic roles. But there’s not that much difference in them in terms of what is required of you, it’s just a different kind of format. It’s been lovely doing so much comedy because it’s just such good fun and with such lovely people, but I would not want to put myself in a comic actor category. I think pretty much all actors are capable of all different formats so I wouldn’t want to limit myself to any of them, but I’m certainly enjoying it for the time being. Do you think you’ll ever return to theatre and film? Oh definitely yeah, I mean theatre for sure. TV is absolutely brilliant, it’s got really good scripts and good people, but the feeling of being on stage is obviously completely different. It’s a really different process and it kind of requires different skills and stuff so I definitely want to do that again soon. Unfortunately it’s not been possible the last couple of years but it will be at some point. What projects have you got lined up in the future? There’s a project for part of the Playhouse Presents series on Sky, I did an episode of that with Ashley Walters and Daniel Mays and that’s going to be coming out in the Spring. I’m really excited about that.

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GADGETS

GADGETS

Gadgets

5

Some gadgets will save you time, bring you amusement or make life easier, others will do the opposite. Each month WUWO separates the two and brings you practical, fun and occasionally absurd gadgets.

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3 6

4

1 1. Autographer £299.99 This pray and spray-style camera captures a more natural take on your night out (for better or for worse). By detecting light levels and other variables, Autographer automatically snaps away with a 136 degree lens. Not only does this keep your hands free for dancing and drinking, it probably takes better photos than you do during an evening of dancing and drinking. While the neck strap makes it ideal for a night out, the 24 hour battery and infra red sensor allows for more sober uses, such as capturing your elusive fridge raiding housemate in the act. www.firebox.com wuwomagazine.com

2. Pocket Boogie Board Jot 4.5” LCD Writer £19.99

3. Ubislate 7ci £29.99

4. Digital Thermometer Pan £44.99

Despite all the bravado of the digital revolution, are you still scribbling phone numbers and calculations on the back of receipts? Clear your desk, pockets and eco-guilt with this simple replacement. Walking a line between practicality and affordability, this LCD writer allows you to write and erase notes on the screen. Its ambidextrous design and size means it will always be the first thing to hand. It’s strong, durable and the watch battery lasts for years, making it an asset for even the most un-organised, forgetful and cumbersome amongst us.

How is it even possible to make a tablet for under £30? Even taking into account the very low-res screen, 1GHz processor, 4GB memory and 512MB RAM this is still a giant bargain. Originally designed for the Indian government’s education services under the title of AAKASH-2, it comes with WiFi, Android 4.0.3 and compatibility with thousands of apps. Despite the low cost it’s surprisingly durable, which makes it well suited to situations where more expensive tablets would be a liability.

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5. Air Cork £21.50

6. iRig Mix – White £49.99

Cooking is an art, but it’s also a science. You wouldn’t bake a cake or roast a turkey without knowing the oven temperature, so why do we not take the same approach to the hob? The LCD display in the handle of the deep pan tells you the heat of the pan as well as the desired temperature. Never again suffer a kitchen nightmare as this innovative pan helps you on your way to culinary delight. Aside from its unique feature, the pan is of solid construction and features everything you’d expect from a medium range pan.

The end of the night doesn’t always mean the end of the bottle. If the idea of spoilt wine leaves a sour taste in your mouth, the Air Cork could save your wine and your wallet. Conventional wine stoppers prevent air from entering a bottle, but this isn’t always enough as the air already in the bottle can still turn your wine to vinegar. With an inflatable stopper and grapeshaped pump to seal the bottle, this handy gadget reduces the amount of air stuck inside to reduce oxidation and keep your wine tasting its very best.

Introducing the first mobile mixer for the IPhone, IPad or IPod Touch! This packs the same controls you’d come to expect from your average cheap and cheerful two channel mixer (cues, crossfader, volume controls and EQ etc.) into a compact and portable product which can be used with a massive range of iOS DJ mixing apps. iRig Mix is a great tool for practising sets and recording small jamming sessions yet unfortunately lacks the power, quality and connections to use at a professional level. For optimum control combine with tablets rather than smaller screened devices.

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COMEDY 29

COMEDY

Your latest tour ‘Where Is My Mind?’ is about ‘turning 30 and bodily malfunctions’. Should we be worried? Well it’s kind of the first stage that my body started to do things I didn’t ask it too. I got gout, which was such a huge surprise to me because I’m not from a Dickens novel. ‘Where Is My Mind’ is the title, is there any relation to the song by ‘The Pixies’? Yes, there is. I name all of my shows after songs, but this one is sort of centred on the year I went to Reading Festival. It’s also about the importance of indie music and my childhood, and how teenagers have moved on from that celebration of awkwardness and indie music. Do you ever find yourself getting stage fright? Umm, that’s an interesting one. Van Morrison, one of my favourite actors, is crippled by stage fright. Apparently in ‘The Last Waltz’, a film Martin Scorsese made, he had to be pushed on stage by his manager. I don’t get it right before I go on, but I do sometimes get a bit down in the day. What makes good comedy is that tension between low self-esteem and a big ego. Those two things need to be battling against each other.

Chris Morris or Rick Mayall… I’ve got a real soft spot for Rick! Do you have a most memorable gig moment? I was once doing a Christmas gig and there was a big hen party throwing cock-shaped paraphernalia at me, like straws and whistles. Then it progressed to them throwing actual dildos at me because they worked in a sex shop. It ended with them throwing a wind-up penis at me, like one of those chattering teeth things you had as a kid, but it was a willy. They threw it at me, it hit me and just fell down this pile of dildos. I walked off stage as if the wind-up willy itself couldn’t handle the indecency. Keep up to date with John’s tour at twitter.com/@nomadicrevery

What’s been your favourite heckle so far? I was once doing a gig in a pub in Cardiff when a girl in the audience I quite fancied said I look like Brad Pitt and an old regular from the bar just shouted out ‘Brad Pitt? Arm-Pit more like!’ That’s the best I’ve had, that’s funnier than anything I said that evening. Are there any comedians you would love to work with in the future? I’m going to be hosting a radio show with Elis James on XFM every Sunday from 10:00-13:00 from February 16. I’d also really like to do something with Henry Paker, Russell Howard, Steve Coogan, facebook.com/whatsupwhatson

JOHN ROBINS

After beginning stand-up in 2005, charismatic comedian and near-scrabble-champion John Robins has since appeared on TV and radio shows such as Russell Howard’s Good News, Arthur Smith’s Comedy Club, BBC Radio Bristol and BBC Radio 5 Live. WUWO caught up with John to talk about his latest tour ‘Where Is My Mind’ and to discover just what we can expect from him in the near future.

How did you get into the comedy scene? I talk about this quite a lot in the show, I was bullied at school but I was always able to have a comeback. Like if you’re being kicked into the mud by Joe Bloggs in 1992, I was still able to hit him with a witty rejoinder. That kind of makes you feel better, if you can get other people to laugh at the bully. Everyone I went to uni with immediately became management consultants and to this day I have no idea what a management consultant is. I had an English degree from Oxford and I was working in Borders, thinking ‘how on earth did this happen?’ I started doing comedy and four months later, someone paid me for a gig. It absolutely blew my mind that someone would give you money for making people laugh.

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An INTERVIEW with

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COMEDY 31

COMEDY

surreal. A gig in front of 100 Saudis and five people from Grimsby!

Ross McGrane

Were any topics off limits? It’s no way near as bad as you might think. It’s one of the few places in the gulf where booze is legal. But we were warned to stay away from any jokes that made reference to religion and if you take the piss out of the King they put you in jail. It’s odd really. You can’t be drunk on the streets as you get the lash, which is quite hilarious as back in Essex the meaning of ‘lashed’ is quite different.

Ross McGrane may have only been touring for a year but he’s got a lifetime of experience in comedy. Having toured with Russell Kane and performed with Jo Brand and Seann Walsh in under a year, WUWO chatted with Ross regarding Essex, Bahrain and Beating the Gong. What drew you into comedy originally? My dad was a comedy promoter so I was kind of brought up on comedy. He took me to meet a few people, showed me a Lee Evans video at the age of 8 and I think that was it. My fate was sealed. I started running my own nights when I was 16 and I booked Lee Hurst and Micky Flanagan for one of my first shows at the Palace Theatre in Southend. What effect has growing up around comedians had on you? Well I think it pissed off a few of my teachers growing up. I inherited quite an adult sense of humour from a young age. I always wanted to do stand-up and did a couple of stand-up gigs in school when I was young but there were only so many jokes you can do about masturbation or having a poo, so I waited until I was 26 with a little more life experience to get back into it. How was it supporting Russell Kane? Amazing! I was playing theatres and rooms, which are out of this world. I used to book Russell back in the day when he was coming up through the circuit.

For him to have remembered me and given me the opportunities I’ve had I’m massively in his debt. I’m playing The Cliffs Pavilion in Southend - it’s a massive theatre and my dream when I was eight - all courtesy of Russell. Is it very much a homecoming gig? Yeah it is, to be coming back just under a year after doing my first gig and playing the biggest theatre in town, never mind that it’s just two minutes from my doorstep, feels pretty amazing. If I went to Essex and made a TV show of your life, what do you think it would look like? It would probably make some people laugh and bore a lot of others. A TV show about my life would probably involve a few Class C drugs, a few cans of beer and not of lot of work getting done. Do you have any New Year Resolutions? Yes, this year is my year for stand-up comedy. There are a lot of competitions that you have to do as an upand-coming, to try and get some good recognition. I kind of left them last year because the best newcomer

TVOD

Reader

THE BOONDOCKS SEASON 4

Available from: Adultswim Categories: Animated comedy Release date: Coming soon About: We were promised a January release, but April seems more likely. For those who missed previous seasons, The Boondocks is an animated show following a working-class black family who live in an ultra-rich white estate in the US. Characters include crazy bigot Uncle Ruckus, 10-year-old domestic terrorist/ freedom fighter/martial artist Huey Freeman, 8-year-old pop culture sponge Riley Freeman and Robert Jebediah Freeman, an oldschool granddad with a love of corporal punishment.

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HOUSE OF CARDS SEASON 2

Available from: Netflix Categories: Political drama Release date: February 14 About: There’s due to be plenty of disappointed partners this year, with Netflix set to release the entire series on Valentine’s Day. House of Cards is an American political drama series adapted from the previous BBC mini-series of the same name. After a Democrat Representative is cheated out of a promotion, he goes on an ambitious, subtle and devastating rampage to trounce his new enemies. Kevin Spacey returns as Francis, now Vice President of the United States, as he continues his ruthless rise to power while threats mount on all fronts.

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competitions you can only do once. I’ve been to Bahrain and all over the UK so I’m better prepared to do the competitions this year. I’m going to Edinburgh where I have two gigs lined up and next year I’m going to be doing my one-man Edinburgh Show. That’s a pretty long resolution. Well it definitely beats giving up fags. Bahrain isn’t normally associated with comedy, how was it? When we got there, the place, the food, the drink and the accommodation was just amazing, just

You beat the gong on your first time round at the most brutal open mic night in the country, The Comedy Store. Has it made every gig easier since then? I can’t compare that to other gigs because it’s just horrible, it’s literally a bear-pit! I knew about the gong but had never been. I was supposed to go there to watch and I thought I can’t go watch open mic night and not do 10 minutes. I managed to get my name put on and it’s brutal, so brutal. You have to last 5 minutes but people were getting gonged off after 10 seconds. I was gifted really as when I walked on there were a couple of really pissed Essex girls in the front shouting and if there’s one thing I’m experienced in it’s dealing with pissed Essex girls. You said in previous interviews that you write everything down. Is that for comedy or is it so you can remember everything the next morning? A bit of both really. If I’ve had a couple of beers I tend to write a load of things up because I think I’m hilarious. I’ll read it the next day and think ‘that’s rubbish!’ I think the point to take from that is with comedy, particularly stand-up, you’ve got to write everything down because you might have a bit of gold there.

WUWO picks out some TV on demand shows that you can watch when you’re good and ready.

HANNIBAL SEASON 2

Available from: NBC Categories: Release date: February 28 About: This American thriller wooed critics with its first season through solid story construction and acting. Hugh Dancy plays Special Agent Will Graham, an intelligent criminal profiler and enemy of Dr. Hannibal Lecter, a forensic psychiatrist, serial killer and extreme foodie. The ending of Season 1 seems a strange starting point to move from and is one of the few excitingly unpredictable show returns of the last few years. Be prepared for lots of gruesome scenes, balanced out with a generous helping of deep and ponderous subjects for substance. wuwomagazine.com

UNCLE

Available from: BBC iPlayer Categories: Sitcom Release date: January 13 About: Stand-up comedian Nick Helm leads this warm yet dysfunctional sitcom as loser Andy, a dissolute out of work musician who forges an unlikely alliance with his 12-year-old nephew Errol after being morally blackmailed into looking after him – all on the day Andy was planning to kill himself. Everything about the pilot episode fits well and it is evident there’s a lot of potential both in terms of humour and development. The only weak point is its similarity to Wilfred in terms of style, themes and unlikely mentors.

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FASHION

FASHION

Fashion

NEW LOOK Blue Bird Print Bow Frill Front Skater Dress £22.99 www.newlook.com

WUWO's fashion section seeks out the best, the boldest and the freshest in fashion, presented in digestible chunks alongside exclusive item giveaways.

BOXFRESH Swich Inca Leather Shoe £59.99 www.footasylum.com

BURTON Grey Floral Print Crew Neck Sweatshirt £25.00 www.burton.co.uk RIVER ISLAND Gold Tone Double Curb Chain Necklace £10.00 www.riverisland.com

BERGANS OF NORWAY Grey Melange Hadsel Jacket Fleece £72 srcunningham.co.uk

MISS SELFRIDGE Jay Block Heel Boot £45.00 www.missselfridge.com

H&M Tapered Low Jeans £29.99 www.hm.com

KARRIMOR Long Down Jacket Coat 64.99 store.karrimor.com

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GAME PLAY

34 34 SCIENCE SCIENCE

Space Sexploration Boldly Boldly going going where where no no man man has has gone gone before before has has never never been been harder. harder. Golf, Golf, playing playing guitar, funerals, getting drunk and going to gigs have all been ticked off, guitar, funerals, getting drunk and going to gigs have all been ticked off, so so if if you you want want to get your name in the space record books you’re going to have to get dirty. to get your name in the space record books you’re going to have to get dirty. Even Even the the most most prudish prudish could could imagine imagine the the possibilities possibilities of of zero zero gravity gravity depravity depravity in in aa $150 $150 billion billion International International Space Space Station/love Station/love shack. shack.

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Gameplay Here’s our monthly gaming top picks for all your black mirrors. Fable Anniversary (Xbox 360) – February 7 Relive the trailblazing magic of Lionhead’s innovative roleplaying game with Fable Anniversary, fully re-mastered with HD visuals and audio, almost instant loading times, all-new interface, Achievements, XBOX SmartGlass support and much more. Fable Anniversary will delight faithful fans and new players alike with pre-order in-game bonuses: a pirate outfit with a sword, a guard outfit with Jackarse fish weapons, and an outfit based on the character Apollo with a crossbow. Get questing and start gaming like you’re back in 2004!

Why Why hasn’t hasn’t it it been been achieved achieved yet? yet? Aside Aside from from it it being being treated treated as as taboo taboo by by space space agencies agencies around around the the world, world, there’s there’s also also the the problems problems caused caused by by loose loose liquids liquids around around highly highly sensitive sensitive electronics, electronics, aa lack lack of of privacy privacy and and the the limited limited choice choice of of partners partners (there’s (there’s only only six six people people currently currently in in space). space). In-space In-space experiments experiments with with rat rat copulation copulation shows shows both both that that fertility fertility rates rates are are much much lower lower in in space space and and being being an an astronaut astronaut isn’t isn’t nearly nearly as as glamorous glamorous as as it it sounds. sounds. If If an an astronaut astronaut were were to to become become pregnant pregnant (medication (medication such such as as ingested ingested contraceptives contraceptives are are also also less less effective effective in in space), space), exposure exposure to to radiation radiation and and the the effects effects of of zero zero gravity gravity are are likely likely to to leave leave the the baby baby mutated mutated and and lacking lacking in in skeletal, skeletal, neural neural connection connection and and immune immune system system development. development. Minimum number of generations required

What What would would it it be be like? like? NASA NASA physician physician Jim Jim Logan Logan even even went went as as far far as as to to state state that that“sex “sexin inzero-G zero-Gis isgoing goingto tohave haveto tobe bechoreographed. choreographed. Otherwise Otherwise it’s it’s just just going going to to be be aa wild wild flail.” flail.”

NEPTUNE

Why Why is is it it important? important? The The Voyager-1 Voyager-1 spacecraft spacecraft was was launched launched in in 1977 1977 and and has has only only just just left left our our solar solar system. system. If If we’re we’re to to explore explore deeper deeper into into space space with with aa manned manned vehicle vehicle and and current current technology, technology, it’s it’s going going to to require require multiple multiple generations. generations.

Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze (Wii U) – February 21 The world’s favourite barrel-chucking gorilla returns in the newest instalment of the Donkey Kong Country Returns series. While the game does bring in some new elements and is the first in HD, those familiar with Country Returns shouldn’t expect radical differences. It’s your job to defend your homeland from anthropomorphised Vikings hell bent on freezing, plundering and taking over your islands. The game is the first to utilise Cranky Kong (an elderly and bad-tempered gorilla) as a playable character and introduces some new moves, though most of these will be familiar to those who’ve played similar side scrolling titles.

Minimum number of generations required

3

PROXIMA CENTAURI

EARTH

123 yrs

1,000,000 yrs

Time (based on Apollo mission) wuwomagazine.com wuwomagazine.com

Trigger-happy, gung-ho gamers may as well stop reading here. Thief is a stealth genre game revolving around Master Thief Garrett, who steals from both the rich and poor. Based in a fantasy city with a Victorian era class divide, a revolution is imminent. Players must purchase gadgets and techniques to carry out opportunist robberies which tie in with events happening in the city. While on paper the character is more anti-hero than Robin Hood, players can decide who to target if they fancy dusting off their feather hat and green leggings.

A Alot lotof ofpositions positionsenjoyed enjoyedon onearth earthrely relyon onNewton’s Newton’sthird third law law (every (every reaction reaction has has an an equal equal and and opposite opposite reaction). reaction). In In space, space, thrust thrust would would have have to to rely rely on on physical physical exertion exertion rather ratherthan thangravity, gravity,which whichis isbad badfor forboth bothlazy lazylovers loversand and those those on on the the receiving receiving end end of of the the thrust. thrust. This This thrust thrust is is more more likely likely to to propel propel you you across across the the space space station station than than give give you you an an out-of-this out-of-this world world experience. experience.

25,000 EARTH

Thief (PC, PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One) – February 28

Time (based on Apollo mission)

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TECH 37

WUWO LIKES

WUWO Likes Every month the WUWO team trawls the internet, hangs around in music shops, goes to the cinema and sits in front of the telly. We compress a month’s worth of intensive procrastination into WUWO Likes, a brief guide to this month in media.

Technology Sam Fresco – Co-Founder and Director of digital product SwipeStation® and digital engagement specialist for digital agency Clock, gives his tech highlights for the month. Try: Ditto

ALBUM

Are you cursed with an anti-aviator oval head? Or just want to try your luck at an inquisitive half-rim style to bolster your trend points? With Ditto, by far the best Virtual-Try platform around, you can simply flick your head left and right and you’ve made your three dimensional Ditto for you try new specs on with ridiculous accuracy. Top tip: Super bored? Get a friend involved behind you for unpredictable results ditto.com

Davidge: Slo Light – February 25 This debut solo album by Neil Davidge is an exceptional marriage of orchestral and electronic elements. It drifts between uplifting and ominous in a manner that is seamless yet instant. The vocalists featured feel natural and every track shows his prowess and experience as a producer and sculptor of music. While Slo Light stands very strongly on its own without need to rest on his reputation as a producer (Massive Attack, David Bowie, Mos Def, Manic Street Preachers) and a composer (Halo 4, Battle in Seattle), it definitely harnesses styles from previous projects, especially Massive Attack and Halo 4.

FILM Nymphomaniac: Volume 1 – February 21 If this film was a sexual experience, the foreplay has been incredible. Posters of actors with their “O” faces and teasers throughout world media has left us longing for the first instalment. Nymphomaniac is the story of a woman’s erotic journey from birth to the age of 50, told through the main character, a self-diagnosed nymphomaniac. The film includes scenes of un-simulated sex using porn stars, yet is a wild and poetic drama story rather than the 2 hour 70s funk-driven romp you may otherwise expect from such a description and narrative.

Being at a party and tuning out to the calm silence as the playlist runs dry is a top first world problem. Fear not, social music service Chüne is here, a playful social music service that intelligently curates playlists. Wrapped up in a neat, funky little box, you can just rock up and tap your phone to add your taste to the playlist. There’s a special fandango technical knob on the box that adjusts the ‘vibe’ of the room, because a party at 8pm simply isn’t the same as one at 2am. Using the app or the knob, you can pull the socially-selected genres to match the changing mood of the room. As a point of interest for those interested, the whole thing is powered by a little Raspberry Pi and NFC breakout board. Stick that in your fandango. chune.co.uk

Log: 1SE

ONLINE Hobo Lobo of Hamlin This side-scrolling comic re-imagines the Pied Piper in a dark, psychedelic and bizarre dystopia. While the text is occasionally clunky and the message is uniformly blunt, the flow of the visual, audio and design elements more than makes up for it. The mayor of Hamelin hires Hobo Lobo to sort out his rat problem, save his reputation and appease dubious forces at work. Hobo Lobo is successful but the mayor renegades on their deal, causing our protagonist to use a more ‘hands on approach’ to justice. www.hobolobo.net

If you’re finding the ‘days run away like wild horses over the hill’ (Bukowski nod) then 1SE could be the tiptop technical solution for you. Whether you’re plagued with a bad memory or just a super keen life logger, 1SE (not pronounced ‘Onesie’, so I’m told) reminds you every day at your specified time to record a second of your day. It adds that one-second scene to your 1E calendar and over the year collates it together. Once you’re finished, you can throw a tune on top of it and pump out a HD reel to save for your garden time capsule. You can even set-up different profiles or upload from your camera roll to fill in that day. It’s a slow burner, but one that could hold a reward if you put the hours in (literally). 1secondeveryday.com

Learn: Harvard EdEx U

DVD Game of Thrones Season 3 – February 17 As the series rumbles on with Season 4 airing this spring, the box set release for Season 3 allows for a thorough recap for existing fans and a catch-up for those not yet hooked on one of the most talked about shows of 2013. The fivedisk release comes with deleted scenes, cast interviews, commentary and other goodies thrown in for good measure. This makes the £30-ish price tag slightly more reasonable until compared to similar titles on rival networks.

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Play: Chüne

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There are plenty of New Years resolutions you could make that you simply won’t stick to - stop lying to yourself, you won’t keep one. So what about something you will, something that will evolve your skill set, potentially help you in your career and best of all something that won’t cost a penny – interested? Thought so. If you want to join the new-skill trend hitting London (starting here then head over to Edx.org, the free online university modules run by Harvard). Admittedly, you won’t have the fraternity shenanigans that come with it but if you do complete your rigorous and demanding online courses you will have a year to finish your seven week course and receive a pretty certificate from Harvard – something not to be sniffed at! edx.org wuwomagazine.com

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BOOKS

PUB TALK

Books Each month WUWO’s Lloyd Paige reads through as many books as possible and picks out a mixed selection of literature to review, below are his findings. The Unpredictable Consequences of Love by Jill Mansell Josh Strachan leaves California and returns his north Cornwall home and once there he meets Sophie Wells, a fascinating girl that ticks all the right boxes. She’s funny and pretty but unfortunately for Josh, she’s not searching for love. Sophie won’t go into details and her best friend Tula won’t tell him why either. It leaves Josh desperate to find out, because if he can, maybe he can fix things so that he and Sophie will have a chance together.

Pub Talk

WUWO reveals Pub Talk, where all manner of comically strange, eyebrow-raising and slightly askew topics are discussed and unanswerable questions are slapped brazenly on the table by wise(ish) men and women. Prepare to turn and lower your head, amused or slightly confused, whilst slowly sipping your pint.

DRUNKEN PROPOSITIONS

Headline Review, £14.99

Would you rather:

• Be married against your will to Piers Morgan or Jeremy Clarkson?

The Outcast Dead by Elly Griffiths Forensic archaeologist Ruth Galloway excavates a body on the grounds of Norwich Castle and is certain that it’s the body of the notorious Mother Hook, a Victorian child killer hanged in 1867. Meanwhile, DCI Harry Nelson has his hands full dealing with a case of three dead infants. He has a prime suspect in his sights, but then a child goes missing. The spectre of Mother Hook looms and Ruth is pulled onto the case to investigate, but as she does, she’s inevitably drawn closer to Nelson.

• Be followed for an entire year by someone playing a banjo or a steel drum? • Run in a giant hamster wheel for a living or work at a tech support/ complaint call centre?

BE E

R MA T QU OTE

“I ha ve told d a theory th u – Hun ring the n at the tru th ine-to ter S Thom -five h is never Pleas p o s urs.” o n u a plea re’s a sin, a sure – Lor nd somet ‘No w imes d Byr ise m sin’s on a – Jon athan n ever wi shed Swift ‘It’s a to be ll youn ger’ song a big hoa x, ho in my n e l y i f . e’ – E ‘Polit lvis P I never w ic rote a resley – ma s doesn’t make rriag e doe s t ran s’ – G rouch ge bedfel lows o Ma rx

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Quercus, £16.99

Naruto 64 by Masashi Kishimoto Masashi Kishimoto has made Naruto, the Japanese Ninja, a much loved character and if you tried to locate a copy of one of Naruto’s video games during the festive season, you’d know it was a difficult task. Arranging a meeting with Jackie Chan would’ve been easier. In this book we find the mischievous shinobi with the crazy sense of humour taking his role in the world very seriously. He just wants to be the best ninja out there and with the special powers at his disposal, he just might do it. Viz Media, £6.08

BATHROOM WALL FACTS • Sleeping with Princess Diana or Camilla Parker Bowles (or the partner of any other heir to the thrown) carries the charge of High Treason and was punishable by hanging until 1998. • Tjenenet is the ancient Egyptian goddess of beer. She was depicted as a woman wearing the symbol of a cow’s uterus as a headdress. • Pentheraphobia is the persistent fear of your mother-in-law.

The Carter of La Providence by Georges Simenon Translated by David Coward, an Emeritus Professor of French, Georges Simenon’s Inspector Maigret is gloriously brought to life in English. The inspector is on the scene when Mary Lampson’s body is found in a stable. But what does her husband Sir Walter know about it? Did her glamorous hedonistic lifestyle play a part in her murder? It’s possible that Inspector Maigret may just find the answers amongst the crew of the La Providence barge nearby… then again he may not. Penguin Classics, £6.04

Pub Quiz

PUB QUIZ Three questions related to this edition: • What famous novel begins ‘It was a cold day in April and the clocks were striking 13’? • In the Halloween party episode of Friends, what fancy dress does Joey wear? • What was the name of Massive Attack’s debut album? Answers: 1984, Sputnik/Potato, Blue Lines

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