WUWO Magazine Edition 6

Issue

o N 6

free

featuring Sean Hughes, Sarah Kendall, Cariad Lloyd, Luke Toulson, Aisling Bea, Jarred Christmas, Joe Lycett

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CONTENTS

Welcome to WUWO Magazine’s Edinburgh Festival Comedy Takeover edition.

WUWO magazine

WUWO Magazine is a free publication distributed monthly in the south of England. We hear you ask yourselves: “How does a magazine from down south find its way to Scotland?”

The answer is simple: comedy.

Editor in Chief - Steven Godwin

Contributors - WUWO Media

Cariad Lloyd - 20

Editor - Laura Hester

Being able to have a laugh stems right from the heart of our publication and all of us at WUWO Magazine are driven to promote comic drama in every way we can. After all, laughter sees us through all those ups and downs, left and rights, ins and outs, and so forth, of everyday life.

Swaying from the format of our usual monthly editions of the magazine, we have invited a diverse variety of funny people, all of whom are performing at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe this year, to contribute to this month’s publication.

Editorial - Aisling Bea - Jacob Burns - Jarred Christmas - Matthew Elcock - Cariad Lloyd - Joe Lycett - Luke Toulson - Maria Martinez Ugartechea

We hope you enjoy this special edition of WUWO Magazine, dedicated to all you Fringe goers and packed full of helpful tips and funny bits, both informative and useful as well as amusing.

Now, meet the cast:

Luke Toulson - 14

Design - Andrew Brown - Nita Saroglou Photography - Graeme Copper - Steve Ullathorne - Maria Martinez Ugartechea

Jarred Christmas - 06

Contact To get in contact about editorial requests editorial@wuwomagazine.com

Sarah Kendall - 32

To get in contact for advertising requests 07961 99 4000 WUWO magazine is published monthly by WUWO publishing. We try and make sure all our information is correct but details may be subject to change. Any physical submissions are sent at the owners risk and we will accept no responsibility for loss or damage. Nothing printed in WUWO Magazine can be copied or republished without our written permission.

Sean Hughes - 24

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Joe Lycett - 18

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Aisling Bea - 10

Food - 40

JARRED CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL SURVIVAL GUIDE

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3. Comfortable shoes with good ankle support Edinburgh has loads of cobblestones.

4. Don’t see too many shows in one day I know you want to cram as much in as possible, but you will get show fatigue. If it’s 9.30pm and you are entering your seventh show of the day, you will be exhausted, laughed out, punch drunk and a bloody useless member of the audience.

The Edinburgh Fringe is a massive beast. 2,695 shows in 279 venues spread across the great city of Edinburgh. Those figures alone are enough to send your senses into a spin. Daunting is the word, daunting. Some people will feel intimidated by the sheer size of the Fringe. Don’t be, plough into it and have an adventure. Be careful though, the Fringe beast could swallow you up.

Pace yourself, plan time for meals and keep your fluids up. I don’t want anyone passing out in my show again because they hadn’t had time to eat all day because they had so many shows to see.

I found this out later, but during the show I had a false ego boost when I thought she laughed so much she forgot to breathe.

If you are handed a flyer, look at it. If you like what you see keep it and go to that show. If you don’t like it, DO NOT follow the path of Evil and throw said flyer to the ground.

Here are my tips for survival 1. The 7 P’s Proper Preparation and Planning Prevents Piss Poor Pre-bookings There are so many shows. The best way to pick and get the full spectrum is go through the Fringe guide with a couple of bottles of wine.

Early on you select the ones you have heard of and like, but as you get drunker, that’s when the interesting picks come into play.

“Hey I wonder what ‘The Zombie Mermaids of Valhalla’ is about?” or “I think the Shawshank Redemption has been crying out for a dance adaptation.”

Don’t hesitate, drunkenly BOOK THEM.

5. Use the flyers for good not evil

Littering is bad karma. Save the flyer and make a cloak out of all the s****y flyers you are handed. If you are in town for more than one day, you will have several cloaks. Then you can form some sort of weird cult and save money on the uniforms.

time you saw Daniel Kitson do yet another master class of a show or the time you saw a one man play about ‘Survival at sea in a rubber dinghy’* where the guy sat in a rubber dinghy pouring salt water over himself and performing yoga. It’s you, him and 10 people. By the end, it’s just you and him. This is a show I have seen (the performer stopped and asked me to leave, as everyone else had). *Title has been changed to protect myself from a yoga ninja attack.

6. Use the a show

toilet

before

entering

Nothing annoys a performer or the rest of the audience more than you getting up mid show and distracting everyone as you push and nudge your way out to piss, then do the same coming back in. Also everyone will know if you have done a wee or a poo, which can be socially embarrassing because a comedian will always comment on that.

2. Be prepared for extreme climate changes Take a small rucksack containing a bottle of water, a change of t-shirt, condoms and a jacket (possibly a chocolate bar depending on whether you are dieting or not; your call).

Edinburgh weather is unpredictable, but the temperature in most of the venues is predictable. It will be uncomfortably hot at times.

Another is if you are watching Albuquerque State High School’s production of ‘Hamlet the Opera’ and you go for a piss. Chances are you are the entire audience. Those poor American school kids will have to pause the show and wait for you to get back… if you

Hey I wonder what The Zombie Mermaids of Valhalla is about? ... don’t hesitate, to drunkenly book them

The Fringe is your only chance to see and discover amazing shows by people you don’t know, as well as see some truly weird and awful things that make you wonder why someone thought people would want to see it. Is there no better awkward feeling than sitting in an audience where you are the only one? Awkward for you but I bet the performer would be delighted that you came along.

I wonder which experience would become one of your best anecdotes at a dinner party. The For more go to

Especially evening shows that are the eighth show in a row in that converted broom closet. You will laugh and sweat in equal measures. You will then be spit out into possibly rainy or subzero temperatures, even though it’s meant to be summer.

Change your t-shirt, put on your jacket and then you won’t catch a chill. If it truly is lovely weather then sit outside, let the sweat dry and then go see another show, sweat some more, and so on, until you have a triple filtered sweaty shirt. That’s when its time to party and get some pussy/ cock (use the condoms at this point). wuwomagazine.com

Jarred Christmas Show: Let’s Go MoFo

go back that is. Or the worse situation would be: you go for a poo, they pause the show, but because you take so long, they start packing up. You then re-enter the room and everyone just stares at each other… for ages.

So, in conclusion, good luck, happy hunting and I hope you enjoy the shows you pick.

Where: Gilded Balloon Teviot Time: 9.30 pm Dates: 1 – 26 Aug

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PUSH OUR

BUTTONS

USEFUL FESTIVAL APPS

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APPlicable ‘Technology paves the way for a stress free day’, so they say, although we’re not 100% sure about that at times, BUT there are a myriad of apps in existence out there that provide us with extra assistance that aids a variety of situations.

If, like us, you plan on rocking up at this years festivities from out of town, then wandering through the maze of streets that harbour all the fun can be quite daunting.

YELP! Yelp covers many things ranging from locating pubs, restaurants, cafe’s and other delicatessens along with the ability to review and submit reviews, to quickly finding a public loo if that curry stand caught you off guard!

How Much is it? Free Available from: iTunes

Well, guess what?!

There’s an app for that!

Hopstop For the hardcore’s who brave public transport over the luxury of their own car, this one’s a must, especially for anyone from out of town! Simply enter your start and stop destinations and receive a list of all known public transport services that will take you there! And for the taxi snobs you’ll be in the know on how much your tolerance for public buses is going to cost you.

How Much is it? Free Available from: iTunes

WUWO Magazine takes a look at five apps that aim to make life easier at this years Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

facebook.com/whatsupwhatson youtube.com/whatsupwhatson

watch comedy clips on our youtube channel For more go to

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Adobe Photoshop Express Tired of the instagram craze?

Switch things up and document your Edinburgh festival experience with Adobe’s ‘Photoshop Express’ App! As well as a catalogue of funky filters it comes with additional tweaks to make your photo a personalized and time saving piece of art!

Mixology F e e l i n g d a r i n g ?. . . .or rich? See what booze you can scavenge, input it into this nifty digitool and receive all known cocktails that can be brewed up with what kit you managed to purchase or perchance upon!

How Much is it? Free Available from: iTunes

How Much is it? Free Available from: iTunes

Weather channel Let’s not forget where we live. We are all too used to the weather taking unexpected turns for the worse, and lets face it, several festivals have already fallen prey to mother nature’s obvious distaste for our little island. At least be prepared with The weather channel app in case a last minute trip to collect some waterproofs is in order!

How Much is it? Free Available from: iTunes For more go to

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AISLING BEA

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AISLING BEA

DO

DON’T

Kill birds with stones

Date with a difference

Guys, it’s a METAPHOR for doing more than one thing at once. Do NOT literally go throwing stones at innocent sparrows or some poor Mary Magdalene figure. No. I mean that you won’t be able to see all of the acts you want to, so go see ensemble shows like Spank! BBC Presents, Storytellers Club OR the PLAY that I’M in; THE INTERVENTION has Phil Nichol, Jan Ravens, Waen Shepard and many more in it.

(The Assembly Rooms, 54 George Street, Edinburgh, EH2 2LR)

Eat potatoes

As an Irish woman I’m always constantly aware of where the nearest supply of potatoes are just in case there’s another surprise famine. While in Edinburgh, you may get swept away by good times and cider and forget to eat properly. Go healthy. The Baked Potato Shop on Cockburn Street has the finest carbohydrates you’ll ever put in your mouth. They’ll line your belly and you can put the leftovers in your pockets to keep your trousers warm.

Kiss a comedian

Joe Public’s

Edinburgh Festival Dos and Don’ts.

WUWO Magazine invites Aisling to sprinkle her wisdom on what to do, and what NOT to do, at this year’s comedy festivities.

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Aisling Bea Show: The Intervention Where: The Assembly Rooms

If funny turns you on, then the streets of Edinburgh are paved with comedy gold. “Oh Aisling, an exalted COMEDIAN would NEVER go for a lowly Joe Public, like ME”, THINK AGAIN my campadre! Comedians do their job because of a deep inner sadness. The festival is designed to expose this inner sadness, which makes it the PERFECT time to swoop. Hang around the venue where your target’s show is on, put a cardigan over your “Comedy is my Rock’n’Roll” T-shirt and go for it. But BEWARE, it will cost you.

Up to one whole drink. If you buy a comedian one whole drink of alcohol, there is a 100-100% chance that you are about to pull.

Go see someone who is about to be and kind of is but isn’t totally off the telly…yet

The bigger acts from TV go on tour all the time.

Edinburgh is the perfect opportunity to see people you may not have heard of. Take a risk with your pennies. See some up and coming talent. They need your laughter more, so you’ll leave pumped with the power of having helped the little guy. In four years you’ll be able to say “I saw them before they were involved in that celebrity scandal”. Some of my faves are Celia Pacquola, Ford & Akram, Humphrey Ker, Sonya Kelly, Sara Pascoe, McNeil and Pamphilon, Cariad Lloyd, Thom Tuck, Dan Wright, Rachel Ann Stubbings & Lou Sanders.

The underground ghost tours are VERY SCARY and the perfect way to cop a feel in the dark. If, however, you’re prone to pants accidents when frightened, it may be better to stick to above ground romance and keep your spirits in your cranberry juice. The Meadows are a lovely green area beside George’s Square where you can picnic and fondle in peace.

Kiss a comedian

Comedians do their job because of a deep inner sadness. The Edinburgh Festival is designed to expose this inner sadness and this is the WORST time to swoop. If you are hanging around the venue where their show is on, put a cardigan over your “I’m a really secure happy person” T-shirt and avoid eye contact. Once they get your heart, they grab onto it like a barnacle and never let go. And it will never really be about you.

Wear a kilt

Unless you are an old American man whose family is actually of Scaddish origin.

Heckle if you are actually funny

Hecklers are born, not made. Please don’t abuse the age old practice by shouting out something funny during a gig. Heckling is an art form performed by natural eejits and only they can know exactly how to ruin a punch line by shouting a perfect “Show us your tits” or “It’s Greg’s birthday!”. Hecklers have paid good money to go into those gigs and not listen and shout out things they think of. Show some respect.

Pretend you’re blind when street performers get their hat out.

“Whaaat? I didn’t see a thing! Where’s my dog gone?”

If you stopped and watched, then you’ve entered into an ancient contract. No one is asking for paper dollars, just a few coppers as a high five for them sticking a knife down their throat to entertain your child/ moany other half.

Get annoyed by flyer-erses.

It’s Edinburgh. There are thousands of acts trying to sell you their show. Many good. Many bad, all with flyers. Take one, shove it in your bag/pocket/mouth, bring it home, recycle/ burn it and be glad that you were never allowed to have a middle class dream and that you have a real job.

Time: 7.05pm Dates: 1-26 Aug excluding 13

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COMPETITION

Discovering the NEXT David Mitchell

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WUWO Magazine team up with Dell & ChannelFlip to present a £10,000 competition for our readers to discover the NEXT David Mitchell!

Creators of David Mitchell’s hugely popular ‘Soapbox’ series, ChannelFlip, have teamed up with returning show sponsor Dell to launch ‘Comedy Spots’, a competition designed to find the ‘next David Mitchell’.

The winner gets a year’s development deal plus £10,000 cash.

The competition invites budding comic talents to visit www.comedyspots.tv and upload their own comedy video in a style of their choice. The videos will all be available for public viewing and spectators will be encouraged to vote for their favourite piece. The competition closes on Friday 5th October.

The finalists will be made up of the top five videos as voted by the public online along with a further five contestants hand-picked by David Mitchell himself.

All 10 finalists will be invited to participate in the London final. They will introduce their video to a panel of judges made up of industry experts, including Mitchell who will announce the winner on the night.

Scan you smartphone here to be directed to the competitions website.

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LUKE TOULSON

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The 10 quickest ways to lose an argument with your girlfriend At times, even in the most functional of relationships, we get in trouble with our other halves. Luke Toulson gives WUWO Magazine readers an insight into why it is men who tend to fail in the argument arena.

Being wrong

Doing it in public

Because of the remarkable debating skills of the adult female, even if you have the backing of the scientific community and a sworn affidavit from a High Court judge, the chances of you winning an argument with your girlfriend are slim. If you are wrong, they are zero.

Any mention of an ex Imagine your girlfriend mentioning a previous boyfriend’s sexual prowess. This is how any mention of an ex-girlfriend sounds to her. Name-check an ex in a positive light during an argument, and you will discover that when it comes to plates, the widely held belief that women can’t throw, is a myth.

Being drunk To win an argument with a girlfriend, you need to be at the very top of your game. I have lost count of the number of arguments that due to intoxication, right in the middle of them, I’ve clean forgotten the subject of the argument, let alone my position on it. On more than one occasion I have found myself arguing against myself, while my girlfriend just puts her feet up.

Wanting to have sex with your girlfriend Evolutionary-Biologists might have a clearer understanding of why, but for some reason, midargument, girlfriends become irresistibly attractive.

And if history has taught us anything, there is little a man won’t sacrifice to get his end away. Throwing an argument in search of this goal wouldn’t even register as a defeat.

Not being able to hold the silences Silences are a key part of the female argument strategy. Despite knowing nothing of cricket, if a girlfriend senses defeat, she will shut up shop and play for a draw. To face off this silent onslaught, it is vital that you are psychologically prepared. With silences, you need to be thinking in terms of weeks and months, not minutes and hours.

Luke Toulson Show: Luke Who’s Talking Where: Underbelly, Cowgate

Whether it’s in a restaurant or on the street, if you argue in public, the man never looks good. And it’s very difficult to win an argument when you’ve lost the moral high ground.

Lying It may get you out of your current scrape, but for some reason, which I may have once known, but have since forgotten, men don’t have the mental faculty to remember anything from the past apart from who England got knocked out by in previous World Cups. So there is absolutely no chance of you remembering the nonsense you made up to cover your past misdemeanour, therefore it is only a matter of time before you contradict yourself. So while she may not be able to rattle off Germany, Portugal, Brazil, Argentina, Italy… your girlfriend will remember that you said you were with David, not Darren, on the 26th March 1997.

Not listening An ex-girlfriend said something to me about this once. I’m not sure what. Though I remember she had lovely breasts.

Criticising her parents They may be the cause of her crippled selfesteem, and she may routinely criticize them herself, but you will unleash the forces of hell if you so much as suggest they have a case to answer for.

Admit defeat Maybe you are right, but think for a moment. This woman lets you have sex with her on a fairly regular basis. She puts up with your lazy, smelly ways (ask yourself, would you like to live with a man?), so what does it matter who’s right and who’s wrong? Doesn’t she deserve your support and to be told how amazing she is?

To be honest, you would have lost the argument anyway, so why not lose it with some grace.

Time: 9:05pm Dates: 2 – 26 Aug

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Photo: Steve Ullathorne

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JOE LYCETT’S GUIDE TO HANDLING HECKLERS

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JOE LYCETT’S GUIDE TO HANDLING HECKLERS

Joe Lycett’s

guide to handling

hecklers

At some point in a comedian’s career, he or she will have to confront a heckler. This often instils abject fear in newer acts, terrified at the prospect of their fragile set being derailed by a well timed shout out from the audience. But for acts with a little more experience, it is more akin to having to swat a fly or kill a cat - it’s irritating and distracting but you know you can do it.

For those newbies who may be panicking at the thought of a heckler, here are my seven (a lucky number) top tips for tackling one.

1. Understand that they are probably drunk and stupid

95% of people would never shout out at a show unless the comedian was clearly in danger from a loose light fitting or a small fire had broken out behind them. The other 5% are either drunk or stupid or both. This gives you an advantage (unless you are drunk or stupid).

2. Imagine the audience are all naked

Because there is no greater put down to a heckle than a raging erection. It is also supposed to help with confidence or something.

3. Say something sexual about their mother/father

I don’t know about you but if someone reminds me that my parents are capable of sex in any way it shuts me up for at least half an hour, the silence only broken by some quiet weeping.

4. Be yourself

Sometimes comedians use stock put downs to stop a heckler, but it’s always much funnier and exciting for everyone if you just allow your mind to wander. Often the funniest thing is the first thing you think of. For example, the first thing I just thought of is a dog dressed as a mermaid.

5. Treat them like a naughty toddler

All the tips and tricks you would use to stop a child from misbehaving can be used on a heckler.

Naughty step, send them to their room, smack them on the arse - do whatever feels appropriate. Bribing them with chocolate can sometimes help too.

Joe Lycett

6. Call security

Show: Some Lycett Hot Where: Pleasance Courtyard

Many comedy clubs have security who will kick out particularly disruptive audience members.

There’s little more satisfying than seeing an attention seeking drunk dragged out of a comedy club for daring to shout out during your set. They ruined your set, you ruin their night!

Time: 8.30 pm

7. If all else fails, fire a gun No one is going to tell you to get off the stage if you’ve just fired a gun.

Dates: 1-26 Aug excluding 13

Photo: Graeme Copper

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CARIAD LLOYD

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Andrew’s guide to surviving Edin-brrrr Andrew is a seven-year-old stand-up and host of children’s educational show, “Learn with Andrew, Learn with Andrew, everyone’s having fun when they’re learning with Andrew!”

You may recognise him. He’s been on ‘Children In Need’ five times, but they never put him at the front, as they always put Sally Dickens at the front, as she’s in a wheelchair even though she can’t sing a top C (Andrew’s words).

Andrew will be performing in The Freewheelin’ Cariad Lloyd at The Pleasance Courtyard at 16:45 every day (except the 14th). Cariad (Edinburgh Comedy Awards shortlist for best newcomer) will be his guardian in Edinburgh, but he has told his mum he’s at chess camp, so if you see her in Waitrose please don’t let her know.

Over to Andrew: “I have been to Edin-brr many times, it is always nice and full of people painting their faces and dancing and miming, no matter how much you tell them to stop. My favourite bit of the Edin-brr festival is the beginning, then the middle, then the end.

Time: 4.45pm

If you do go to a free show, be on time, and don’t leave half way through. Free shows are not to keep you warm and dry; they’re for brilliant performers trying to save money. If you want to keep warm and dry please see earlier note about the Games Workshop.

Edin-brr is called Edin-brr because no matter how much you think it is August it will feel like March.

Dates: 1-27 Aug excluding 14

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Go and see people you like, but also go and see free shows, as there are loads of good people doing free shows, and just because they are free, doesn’t mean they are bad.

The first thing you should do is head to the Royal Mile, so called because the first settlers spelt Royal Mail wrong, and there used to be loads of post offices all down it, till they privatised everything.

The best thing about the Royal Mile, is there is a Games Workshop on it, and if you are tired and don’t know how to speak to people anymore because you feel all small, then you can go in there, and as long as you’re not a girl or with a girlfriend they will be very kind to you. It is like a Samaritans for people who are well-informed about History. And also warm.

Where: Pleasance Courtyard

There are so many shows to see, so go see all your friends shows first so you don’t feel guilty when you see them, or perfect the phrase, “I’m coming on my day off” which in performer language means “I don’t know you well enough to be forced to sit through your show when I am so stressed I want to cry”. They will understand and respect you for this.

My new Daddy, Colin (I’m not allowed to call him Daddy or look him in the eye) says you only get what you pay for, which is why he pays ladies to call him on the big computer. He pays loads, so they must be really friendly and good, although he is always shouting at them.

People like it if you take their flyers and then straight away throw them on the ground. This is a funny joke, especially when they have paid for the flyers from all their temping work, and now they can’t eat as they bought extra glossy ones by mistake. Funny!

Show: Freewheelin’ Cariad Lloyd

You will see some girls wearing shorts and flip-flops like they’re at Latitude, but they are young and have low self-esteem. If you see them, buy them a coat. And tell them it’ll get better past 25. You think.

The beginning is good because there are no posters up yet and no one has had no bad reviews so everyone is nice to each other and no one does a head tilt and says, “I thought your show was great, what do they know!” when they bump into you, which is nice.

The Royal Mile is like a giant Fringe guide you don’t have to flick through. Save your poor hands from turning pages and walk down the Mile while everyone shouts at you about their shows.

Cariad Lloyd

And you will always need your coat. No matter how sunny it is, or how much you think it feels warm, you will need your coat. Bring your coat.

For more go to

Mainly make sure you are in bed after you’ve watched The One Show, unless you have to do a show, in which case, make sure you go home straight after, most people do, there will be no one out past midnight, everyone will have all spent a lot of money on their Edin-brr shows, so they will want to be well rested for the next day.

Eat at least one warm meal a week (the Well, Hung & Tender burger doesn’t count) and try to spend a few moments every day looking around you at all the amazing people and all the creativity and think how lucky you are to be there.

If that doesn’t work, go and see a play about the forthcoming apocalypse, and cry silently through it, you’ll feel better afterwards.

I’ve been Andrew! Bye! ”

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SEAN HUGHES

WUWO magazine has a chat with Sean Hughes about reality TV, gorillas, music, what makes him laugh and a whole bunch of other banter.

WUWO Magazine: Did you always dream of stand-up and acting or did you harbour dreams of another career when growing up?

Sean Hughes: I knew from the age of 14 that I was going to be a stand-up so I was always training and driven towards that. I never thought of doing anything else.

In your opinion, how has the industry changed?

Now there is a lot of stand-up on television with a lot of people getting into it because they want to be on television, whereas when I started, it was just to be a stand up comedian.

You must have travelled a lot.

What countries or cultures stick in your mind?

I always loved, from the early days as well, Australia. Melbourne has got a good comedy festival, so a lot of people tend to visit there as well as Edinburgh and it has a kind of community of travelling comics that all go there. I think Melbourne is probably the nicest for me.

, What s your view of the current glut of reality TV shows?

I do sometimes watch them. I used to like Big Brother because it’s just observing people’s lives, which is kind of what you do when you do comedy. I used to like that element of it, but it soon gets quite tiring. I like it when it’s not just wannabes wanting to be on telly.

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What about regional accent based TV shows such as Desperate Scousewives, Geordie Shores and The Only Way is Essex?

I don’t really watch those and have no interest in them. I think there has definitely been a cultural change in a sense that a lot of people seem to be able to get on telly with no talent. It is what it is and you can’t ever deny popularity really.

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If you had three wishes what would they be?

I would wish that the whole concept of wishes was true, and I wouldn’t need any more than that. Then you could wish away.

You realise you have unexpected downtime How does Sean Hughes relax?

I may watch a DVD or something. I don’t really go out that much, or if I have a week or more I might go trekking with gorillas in Africa. I have done it before in Rwanda.

That’s what I would like to do if I was really having some downtime. I find gorillas fascinating.

Would you keep one as a pet?

No, I believe they should be allowed to run free. I’m quite into animal rights so I don’t believe in zoos or eating meat or the like.

Do you think that the latest political/banking crisis has , fatally undermined people s faith in the government and financial industry?

No I don’t think it has because it goes from one thing to another and I find it a real annoyance that people are very willing to talk about it, and won’t shut up about it, but really won’t do anything about it. And I think that is bad. Police enquiries are absolutely futile, too expensive, not cost effective and create very little change. I’m afraid that if anything is going to change there has to be a proper revolution and that is not going to happen.

We shouldn’t live in a society where we print our own money. We make our own economies and yet there are still a lot of people starving in the world. That just goes to prove that our system doesn’t work.

I find it very odd that bankers get bonuses.

We’ve got ourselves into a ridiculous situation where we live in an economy that favours the rich and there are still people starving. To me that is morally wrong and I can’t really do anything about it. We live in a corrupt society so what is the point of shouting about little things.

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SEAN HUGHES

What shows make you laugh?

‘Friends’ makes me laugh and I find the things based on reality make me laugh but I don’t mean reality shows. For instance, there are bits on ‘Mad Men’ and ‘Dexter’ that make me laugh out loud and get some good bits of dialogue. Then for comedy, something like ‘Modern Family’ is always very funny.

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You also write poetry. Did growing up in Dublin mean you were influenced by the likes of James Joyce?

Who is your favourite character in Modern Family?

No, I wasn’t influenced by him but I admired what he did. I’m not his biggest fan. I did like Beckett, but Seamus Heaney and Paul Durcan were influences. Having said that, if you ever wanted to ask anybody to read one book of poetry, I suggest you always start with Ted Hughes’ ‘Birthday Letters’.

Pretty much all of them, but if I have to pick one it would be the elderly father (Jay).

Were you really in a Terrorvision video?

You won the Perrier award in 1992. What did such a prestigious accolade mean to you and your career?

Yeah, I was. I did ‘Tequila’ [the video] with them. I kind of knew them a little bit so I did it as a favour, so it was a bit of fun.”

I think people put more importance on the awards than I do. It just so happens that I was at the show that year and it was nice to get the award but those kinds of things don’t really matter too much to me. I am very flattered to receive awards but don’t necessarily agree with them.

Coronation Street is one of the biggest shows in British TV history and still adored by millions.

Did you feel the pressure? The fans are notoriously outspoken in the streets.

We will soon be focusing an entire edition on the Edinburgh , Festival Fringe.

What s it like being part of such a huge festival of comedy, arts, theatre and street performances?

It was a job and was a really weird one because it was one of those where people recognize you all the time, which is horrible.

But I was really glad I did it because it was my mum’s favourite programme. It did freak her out a bit seeing her son in it. It was quite sweet to do it just so she could see me in it.

I love being at the festivals. I’ve been going up there for years so I always feel part of it.

Although, I haven’t been for a while, so it feels like I am coming home in many senses.

Who was on set?

You are on a desert island.

What three albums would you take with you and why?

, What s next for Sean Hughes and where can people come to see you around the UK?

One of them would always be Julian Cope (he used to be in a band called ‘The Teardrop Explodes’) because he has a song for every mood. Then Morrissey, as he would be quite good to listen to if you are on your own. For hope, a Polish conductor called Henryk Górecki’s, 3rd symphony because it’s just beautiful.

I will be at the Edinburgh festival for all of August and then I am touring around the country in various venues from September till the winter. The show is called ‘Life Becomes Noises’.

You were born in London but moved to Dublin. What was that like and how did you handle the transition?

the

biggest

diva

It was pretty much a team effort, so, no one really struck me as a diva.

Sean is performing ‘Life Becomes Noises’ at the Pleasance Courtyard 5.30pm, from 1-27 Aug excluding 8 & 14.

Sean Hughes

I had no choice on that because that was the way my parents went. Even though I was born in London, I have always considered myself Irish and never English. It just so happened, geographically, that I was born in London. My parents are Irish.

Show: Stands Up Where: Gilded Balloon Teviot Time: 8.30pm Dates: 1 -27 Aug excluding 8 & 14

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MEET Sarah Kendall Although moderately unsure if she’s being a delusional maniac, Sarah Kendall reveals that she is feeling surprisingly good about the 26 days she will be performing her show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

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SARAH KENDALL

Life has the ability to arm any talented comedian with the ammunition required to concoct an amusing and thought provoking performance.

In Sarah Kendall’s case, the comedic weaponry gained for the content of this years show manifested from the past five years raising her daughter. In that time, she became aware and appalled at how much mainstream society prays on the female form. This new found awareness of exploitation sends Sarah Kendall marching on a comic campaign trail that guarantees an entertaining act.

Now, let’s meet Sarah Kendall, an Australian from Newcastle who arrived in the UK in 2000 after already being a regular face on the Aussie comedy circuit. She caught the comedy bug and started her career performing at the ‘Comedy Lunchtime Hour’ at her university…

Sarah Kendall: Sarah Kendall: ...don’t even get me started Liquid Lunch! That I worked on the club on the advert breaks on the was a very friendly circuit till about Nickelodeon channel that warm environment eight months into my to start comedy, with try and coach all little girls pregnancy. It’s kind your friends getting of weird; shows when into becoming princesses. drunk and everyone I was pregnant didn’t knows each other. I got into it that way. go as well but didn’t go badly. If people don’t Then I started writing for someone in radio like your show they’re not going to be mean and then more stand-up. I dropped out of and go ‘f**k off you’re s**t’ because your my degree. I was studying an art degree pregnant, and at the same time they don’t and majoring in English Literature. I didn’t laugh as much because they’re all thinking: know what I wanted to do or where I was ‘is she going to go into labour any second?’ going, and just thought I would do this It creates a weird atmosphere and every (comedy) until something else came along. pregnant woman in comedy I have spoken I was very attracted to stand-up. I really to says the same. Nina Conti and Shappi enjoyed having a microphone and the space Khorsandi all agree that when you walk out to myself. With stand-up I have time to on stage and are that pregnant, part of the collect myself and put the joke together and audience just think: ‘oh f**k oh s**t.’ I really enjoy occupying the space on stage. don’t know why, but that’s the way it is.

WUWO Magazine: How did a comedian from Australia come over to the UK in the first place?

Sarah Kendall: I met an English man, so I moved over to be with him.

I thought this probably won’t last - nothing ever did up until that point – but we’re still together. It was a bit of a punt, but I was at that age! The bag I brought over here was tiny and I thought if we broke up that I would just go home. I had an agent who was representing me and booking me gigs and stuff, so I wasn’t broke and had work. And that’s how I got onto the UK comedy circuit.

WUWO Magazine: What sort of gigs were you getting at that stage?

Sarah Kendall: When I first got here I was doing all the open mic nights. As many as I could in any place that would have me.

When I got here I realised that the comedy industry was huge, and that you’re really playing with the big boys, so I wanted to get as good as I possibly could.

WUWO Magazine: In the run up to having a daughter, whilst pregnant, were you still on stage or did you slow down at all?

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WUWO Magazine: A show a day for 26 days in Edinburgh – is that tiring?

Sarah Kendall: I use to think it was tiring, then came to the realisation that everything is easier if you don’t drink. The only reason I used to feel tired was because I was out most nights after the show. I wasn’t getting smashed but just used to go out. I just did the Melbourne festival as well as Adelaide, Brisbane and Melbourne. I went to bed early and didn’t drink. I went out though and had fun and by the end of the festival, I felt like I could do it all again. Back in the day I thought: ‘Man this is the most tiring job in the world.’ But once you have a child, you really know what tiredness is!

WUWO Magazine: You have performed and visited Edinburgh Festival six times, which means you must be very familiar with the city.

Any tips for our readers on good places to go and eat?

Sarah Kendall: Monster Mash (now called Mums Great Comfort Foods) sausage and mash. Red meat sausage, pork sausages, mix it up with your parsley mash or garlic mash; get your onion or beef gravy - it’s just the best, heartiest meal. I think I might have been hungover every time I have eaten there. A meal like that can actually

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be the difference between a bad day and an: ‘Ohhhh actually I can cope now!’ Also, City Café is a great hang out. Good food and you can shoot some pool and have a couple of beers. I also love Chocolate Soup and then going around to all the festival bars.

WUWO Magazine: Do you have any hot tips about a new comedian to look out for at Edinburgh Festival?

Sarah Kendall: I did a preview with Daniel Simonsen. He’s Norwegian and has worked in the UK for a couple of years.

I don’t know if he would be considered normal in Norway, but his Norwegian-ness adds this extra quirk. I don’t know if it’s his accent but he has a very definite voice which is really hard to nail. He’s good!

WUWO Magazine: How long did it take you to find your voice?

Sarah Kendall: Longer than Daniel.

I wasn’t one of those people who within the first year was like: ‘Yer I f****n’ got it!’

I think it took me about five or six years, but any professional would agree that it’s a ten year apprenticeship. After about five years I started to go: ‘Aaahhh that’s me, this is what I do’, but around the ten year mark you’re more self contained. It’s like everything as you get older, that’s the trade off. You don’t look as hot as you used to look but on the other hand, you do feel better about yourself and you’re not dependant on other people saying things you want to hear.

WUWO Magazine: Moving away from comedy, what music are you listening to right now?

Sarah Kendall: The music I just downloaded was an album by an Australian band, Augie March. I like Lady Hawke, she’s good. But generally I like a bit of cock rock to be honest with you. I like - it’s not just because I’m Australian - but I am a very big fan of ACDC. A big test would be what’s on my i-Pod right now!

WUWO Magazine: Ok, so give us your top five most recently played on your i-Pod? Sarah Kendall: I am kind of nervous now. So, most recently played – this is so weird. Ok – ‘Back in Black’, ACDC, ‘Baby I’m Yours’, Barbara Louis – do you know it’s a really old sweet 1950’s ballad (Sarah then starts singing to us and she is actually quite good, but don’t give up the comedy!), ‘Here Comes the Sun’, The Beatles, ‘Because’, The Beatles and ‘You Never Give Me Your Money‘, The Beatles. That’s because I just listened to Abbey Road.

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Sarah Kendall Show: Get Up, Stand Up Where: Pleasance Courtyard Time: 8.30 pm Dates: 1 – 27 Aug excluding 13

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Edinburgh Festival in numbers

WIN Fringe Things

2,695 6% In

The number of shows this year

Rise on last year

2009

37%

of shows had their world premiere

The 2011 Fringe 1,877,119 41,689 2,542 258 25 tickets sold for

performances of

shows in

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venues over

days

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RECOMMENDED COMEDY

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Wuwo Magazine’s comedy contributors recommend: If you have any doubts over WUWO Magazine’s idea of funny, then rest assured that you can fully rely on our ‘comedy takeover’ writers to have a good knowledge of who’s who in the comedy world. On this basis, they have carefully crafted a timetable that reveals a variety of comedy gems in store for you this year at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Comedian

Venue & time of peformance

Dates

Daniel Simonsen

Pleasance Court Yard 7.00pm

1st-27th excluding the 13th and 20th

Celia Pacquola

Gilded Balloon Teviot 7.00pm

1st-27th excluding the 14th

Ford & Akram

Pleasance Court Yard 3.15pm

1st-27th excluding the 13th

Humphrey Ker

Pleasance Dome 11:10pm

7th – 14th

Sara Pascoe

Assembly George Square 9:15pm

1st-27th excluding the 14th

McNeil and Pamphilon

Pleasance Courtyard 4:30pm

1st-27th excluding the 14th

Thom Tuck

Pleasance Dome 8:10pm

1st-27th excluding the 12th

Dan Wright

Gilded Balloon Teviot 9:30pm

1st-27th excluding the 13th

Rachel Ann Stubbings Underbelly, Bristo Square 3:00pm

1st-27th excluding the 14th

Lou Sanders

1st-26th excluding the 15th

Pleasance Court Yard 9:30pm

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Got a smart phone?

If so scan the codes below to watch video footage of this comedian

Daniel Simonsen

Pleasance Court Yard 7.00pm 1st-27th excluding the 13th and 20th

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FRINGE FOOD

FRINGE FOOD

What the

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locals think...

Food in the city Discovering local flavours and dishes is one of the many pleasures of travelling. During the festival it’s easy to focus solely on the vast array of shows and performances, and yes, it is, BUT! The Fringe also provides the opportunity to indulge in some tasty Edinburgh-style dining.

Like all cosmopolitan cities, Edinburgh is rammed with restaurants offering cuisines from around the globe.

Jenna Austin

Zander Perston

Stephen Heap

Fatima Naji

Age 22 Occupation Retail assistant Best food venue in Edinburgh? Gusto - George St Best Scottish dish? Mince and tatties Favourite fast food? Daddios pizza takeaway

Age 28 Occupation Retail Best food venue in Edinburgh? Mal Brasserie - Tower Pl Best Scottish dish? Haddock, chips, salt & brown sauce Favourite fast food? Chinese in Albert Street

Eating out is a big part of life. The city’s geographical advantage of bordering lush countryside and the sea, guarantees a wide selection of delicious, quality and fresh produce.

The real star of Edinburgh’s culinary culture is the seafood, and it’s as fresh as it gets. And for all you carnivores, quality Angus beef can be bought at a relatively lower price than the other parts of the country.

From famed Scottish salmon to exquisite scallops, Edinburgh has it all, even opting for the late night munchies and the familiar; fish and chips. Just don’t forget the ‘salt n’ sauce’!

Age 24 Occupation City Office worker Best food venue in Edinburgh? Taste of Italy - Elm Row Best Scottish dish? Roasted Rabbit with root vegetables Favourite fast food? Chinese

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Age 20 Occupation Assistant Manager Best food venue in Edinburgh? Pomegranate -Antigua St Best Scottish dish? Mince and tatties Favourite fast food? PizzaHut

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FRINGE FOOD

Fast food legend

FRINGE FOOD

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Black and white chequered floor, people dancing to the beat of the music, electric neon lights, an alcohol licence, flyers and photographs pasted across the walls; anyone would think I’m describing a nightclub. Instead I’m talking about Café Piccante. Keeping the clubbers clubbing, it’s perfect for a late night munch as it serves the widest range of food to be found in Edinburgh at 3am.

Haydar Yildirim, 43, the co-owner of this 13-year-old chippy, demonstrates how to make a deepfried Mars bar whilst filling me in on Cafe Piccante’s fame: “We’ve been interviewed many times by magazines, newspapers and even TV stations, British and international. People from many places such as Germany, Croatia, France, and Argentina have come here. I think it’s good for Edinburgh’s advertising.”

He informs me that up to 500 people can pile into Café Piccante on a weekend night and about 30% of those are regular customers. Haydar says: “Five out of 10 tourists ask for a fried Mars bar and many people come here to check out the atmosphere. We used to have a live DJ playing on weekends but somebody complained and the council stopped us.”

The council might have stopped the live DJ, but music continues to play at all times and punters turn up to carry on the party. Over the years Haydar has witnessed many a funny thing at Café Piccante: “People come here on a very high and positive energy after parting and clubbing. Most arrive smiling and seem happy which I like. It’s late night work but it’s a happy job.”

“Some people take lots of photos or just start dancing and singing with some even getting up on the tables and dancing on them. We join in sometimes and have fun with the customers. There’s a great atmosphere and when we finish the team chills out together with a beer.”

They’re not short of drunken customers due to the fact that they close as late as the nightclubs that surround them; 2am on weekdays, 3am on weekends and 5am during the festival.

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Haydar relays: “Many girls have come here and flashed us, and even some boys have stripped off their clothes and all we can do is laugh. But we’ve also had rude customers, in the worst cases we have had to ask the security guys from the neighbouring clubs or the police for help. People get out of hand, but is not very often.”

According to Haydar, they owe their popularity to all the newspapers and magazines who always write positive things about Café Piccante. He says the Metro wrote that they were the N˚1 kebab shop, and a quick glance on the internet confirms this along with just how much people really love it.

3 5

From fruits and salads, to pies, deep fried black pudding or haggis, their menu has it all. Although their pizzas and fish are a popular choice, Haydar reveals that their best sellers are the chips, served with everything and anything including, the most popular, cheese and sauce.

He says: “In London or Glasgow or anywhere else, people ask for salt and vinegar but in Edinburgh people always ask for salt and sauce with their chips.

It’s typical of Edinburgh.”

Perhaps that explains how Selim Sener, Haydar’s business partner, broke the Guinness world record for the most portions of chips wrapped in a minute.

Wrapping 10 portions in one minute, yep, there is no doubt that he has a lot of experience in the chip arena!

Café Piccante is a must for anyone visiting Edinburgh.

It can be found on 19 Broughton Street, at the top of Leith walk.

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FRINGE FOOD

Wuwo magazine’s award For...

Best Fringe hangover

grub

During the August festivals, Edinburgh transforms pretty much into a 24 hour city. With clubs closing around 5am and shows starting again as early as 8am, there is little time for rest. For this reason, festival goers are often on the lookout for a place to slay their hangovers, refuel and battle on through the festivities.

FRINGE FOOD WUWO Magazine has investigated and done the homework for you. We hit the streets in Edinburgh and quizzed the locals to vote their city’s best hangover grub. And the award goes to… OINK! According to residents, the best rescue from the inevitable hangover is one of Oink’s freshly carved ‘delicious Scottish hog roasts.’

WUWO Magazine meets up with the team at Oink’s cosy venue on 34 Victoria Street, just up the Grassmarket, to sample the hog and witness the whole roasted beast in the window for herself.

As I enter the quirky black and pink shop I am greeted

by Katie Dudgeon, 24; Alex Pate, 22; and Andy Tait, 23.

Katie and Andy call themselves “slaves of the pig” as they have been working at Oink for several years. Alex does occasional shifts, but Andy tells me that she cannot be a “slave of the pig” because she’s the “boss’s daughter”.

I ask what a typical weekend at the Oink is like. Katie responds: “On Sunday mornings, people always ask for the crackling and an Irn-Bru with their roll and that sorts them out. Some people come when they’re still drunk.”

There are three different roll sizes. The Piglet is the smallest, the Oink is the medium and the most popular, the biggest one, is the Grunter, which can hold around 250 grams of pork. All are served with a choice of sage and onion, chilli relish, haggis or apple sauce as well as the option of a slab of crispy crackling to top it all off.

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“We get a lot of stag groups,” Katie continues: “Once a guy, probably the best man, broke the record and ate five Grunters. He had meat sweats but his friends were cheering him on and he finished them in about one hour.”

Alex also says: “Somebody from a hen party tried to buy the head because they wanted to wear it. I love meeting the customers, they’re always very funny and try to say puns like: ‘I’m going to pig out’ or ‘I’m going to go the whole hog’.”

I am also told of how people are always taking photos of the pig and that some people just stare at it. They also say that people ask them if it is chicken or haggis, and that once, a drunken man actually said: “Is that tuna?”

One day, David Hasselhoff was spotted passing by. All watched while he stopped and stared at the lying hog for a couple of minutes before carrying on along his way.

Andy says: “We think that Mark Foster, the Olympic swimmer, is the most famous person that has eaten here. Our pork is so good that it converts vegetarians.

Once a guy and a girl came in and the girl was vegetarian. We persuaded her to try the pork and after tasting it she said: ‘I’m cured’ and eats pork now.”

Adam Marshall and Sandy Pate are the two farmers who started selling their Scottish hog rolls at the Edinburgh Farmers Market in 2001. As the business grew they opened Oink in 2008 and they also do lots of outside catering. The pigs are from Adam’s farm on the Scottish borders and are cooked slowly overnight.

Whilst in Edinburgh, in the event you’re feeling those hangover hunger pangs, get on down there and dig into one of these porky delights.

Find Oink at 34 Victoria Street, Grassmarket, Edinburgh, EH1 2JW Follow them on Twitter @OinkEdinburgh or visit www.oinkhogroast.co.uk

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FRINGE FOOD

Food gems

FRINGE FOOD

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Mussel Inn

The Albanach (Scottish) Attention seafood lovers! Head down to Mussel Inn on 61-65 Rose Street and be spoilt for mollusc choice.

Oysters, scallops, and seven flavours of rope grown mussels are just a few of your options. And if that’s all a bit slippery for you, then go for an Aberdeen Angus burger or a veggie Thai broth instead!

Red Box Noodle bar

Ever heard the phrase: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”?

Well, when in Edinburgh, eat what the Scottish do. The city harbours countless Scottish restaurants but there is one that particularly stands out. Based in an excellent location, with an enviable cuisine, unbeatable prices and over 200 different malt whiskies, The Albanach (197 High Street) is not to be missed.

Decorated with rustic wooden floors and castle like stone walls, there is a choice of seating, either in the busier bar area or the quieter diners only space at the back. It’s location, slap bang on the Royal Mile, is a winner to attract customers, although it’s the delectable array of tasty dishes that keep the locals coming back.

Then there is the haggis, as a starter or as a main, served with ‘neeps and tatties’ and highland oat cakes. When it’s ordered as a main, this delicious dish is accompanied by a smooth, whiskey cream sauce.

Save room for dessert! Indulge yourself with a Cranachan, made with fresh whipped cream, a blend of whisky, raspberries, honey, and sprinkled off with toasted oats and a serving of shortbread on the side.

A true Scottish delight.

Need to find a place for a quick bite without breaking the bank? Then visit Red Box Noodle bar at 53 W Nicolson Street. With a similar format to Subway, pick from a selection of fresh ingredients and get ‘em whipped and sizzled up into the stir-fried noodles of your choice – all from £5.30!

Viva Mexico

Gusto, (Italian)

Who doesn’t like a good Mexican? You don’t?

Wait until you have tried Viva Mexico’s cuisine, 41 Cockburn Street. Forget the typical dishes; order the Chipotle chicken or the tamarind king prawns, and you will have had an authentic Mexican cooking experience. Oh, and leave space for their homemade chocolate chilli cheesecake… it’s very, very good.

Featuring an impressive decor and with service to match, Gusto is an Italian restaurant located on 135 George Street. Enjoy an ample selection of cocktails, along with our favourite dishes at this stylish establishment – pancetta, avocado and scallop salad for starters and for mains, the wild mushroom and truffle oil risotto. Top it all off with a hot portion of sticky toffee pudding and a dollop vanilla ice cream.

The Scottish beef stew and dumplings are a must; cooked slowly in beer gravy and root vegetables, to create an extremely tender meat.

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