WUWO Magazine Edition 15

The Enemy Of Boredom

No15 ISSUE

FREE Every Month July Edition 2013 wuwomagazine.com facebook.com/whatsupwhatson twitter.com/whatsupwhatson

BOARDWALK EMPIRE COMEDY GADGETS FASHION GAMING MUSIC SCIENCE

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WUWO Magazine

08 Boardwalk Empire Guide and Competition

Boardwalk Empire fits in with WUWO love for all things vintage and being major fans of HBO’s output, we’ve put together a character guide so you can get your fill of gangsters and bootleg booze too!

12 An Interview With Jaguar Skills

Jaguar Skills is a balaclava clad DJ famous for his cut-n-paste style mixes, Radio 1 and 1Xtra mix tapes and his dojo-like multi-genre wisdom. WUWO met Jaguar to talk new albums, ninjas and hip-hop.

21 Are You Fashionable Or Are You FAB? Originally the creators looked to set up a gay social network but FAB became a massive online retail phenomenon. We talk to Tracy Doree, Senior Vice President of Merchandise to get an exciting insight into all things FAB.

29 How to Blag It As A Psychic

Becoming a psychologist requires years of training, a scientific approach and a qualification to prove it. If you don’t want to let these pesky little nuances get in your way, why not become a psychic?

Contributors WUWO Media Editor in Chief Steven Godwin Content Editor Jack Courtez Copy Editor Laura Hester Design & Illustration Marian Hutchinson Vince hudson Jenny Maddock Writers Aisling Bea Matthew Cook Nader Khouri Sophia Boutique Alex Chiejina Ben Gore Sonal Khandelwal Manh Pham

30 Under London With Crossrail

To get in contact about editorial requests: editorial@wuwomagazine.com Advertising requests: advertising@wuwomagazine.com

38 An Interview With Felicity Ward

WUWO Magazine is published monthly by WUWO Media.

We try and make sure all our information is correct but details may be subject to change. Any physical submissions are sent at the owners risk and we will accept no responsibility for loss or damage. Nothing printed in WUWO Magazine can be copied or republished without our written permission.

WUWO went underground to meet Sofia, Crossrail’s tunnel boring machine about to go under The Thames with style.

After making her name down under in improv, sketch and panel TV shows, Felicity moved into Stand-up, wooing crowds with blunt-force-honesty and winning an impressive array of awards. WUWO caught up with her to talk hedgehogs, philosophy and incest.

Regulars 04 Top Picks

20 Fashion

06 Retronaut

22 Gadgets

14 WUWO Tech

24 Gimmicks

16 Art Explorer

26 Aisling Bea

19 WUWO Likes

35 Game Play 36 DIY

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TOP PICKS

Top Picks Hand-picked, intriguing happenings, venues, clubs, shops and more from London and beyond.

Matt Ricardo’s London Variety Show

Public Enemy

Leicester Square Theatre, 6 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX July 24, £15

KOKO Lounge, Camden, London, NW1 July 25, £31.35

Ever seen a man juggle ping pong balls using only his mouth? If this tickles you, you should definitely consider visiting London’s leading variety show.

Legendary and infamous hip-hop group Public Enemy come to London on the only non-festival UK date of their tour for a mid-week show.

Mixing comedy, magic, acrobatics and more, this is the pick n mix aisle of performance.

Public Enemy rewrote the rules of hip-hop and mixed hard funk, jazz, rock and political consciousness together to create bold and ferocious tracks.

Host, comedian and juggling maestro Matt Ricardo has numerous TV appearances under his belt and has gained a reputation as the world’s last surviving gentleman juggler.

For those who can bunk off work early, the roof terrace at the venue is open ahead of the support act with special drink offers for patrons.

The late start time yet relatively early finish makes for a great and gentle weekday unwind.

The Alternate Guide To The Universe

The Book Club

Hayward Gallery, Southbank Centre, SE1 8XX July 2-August 25, £11

100-106 Leonard St, EC2A 4RH ‎

This summer exhibition at the Hayward Gallery presents the work of outsider artists. The art on display is created by largely self-taught artists who visually present their alternate view of our world.

The pieces re-imagine our societal conventions; playfully explore the mysteries of time and space, and present new ways to look at life as we know it. wuwomagazine.com

Half swanky bar and half community hall, The Book Club puts on a variety of nights including, speed dating, ping pong tournaments, cinema nights, art exhibitions, basement parties and poetry. Interestingly, there is no book club at the Book Club.

The cheerful two floor ex-warehouse is matched by equally cheery punters. Be warned, if you pop in for a swift half, minutes blur into hours effortlessly and you may end up with a new local.

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TOP PICKS

Yahoo! Wireless Festival 2013

Beigel Bake

Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, Stratford, E20 2ST July 12-14, Day ticket: £64.50

159 Brick Lane, E1 6SB

Wireless festival has moved to the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in Stratford, the newly renovated Olympics site. Justin Timberlake and Jay Z are headlining, while Snoop Dogg, Calvin Harris, Emile Sande, Rita Ora, Rizzle Kicks and John Legend are also on the bill.

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Not many places have people running around London on their lunch break to reach them, but Beigel Bake is one of them. Combining the wallet friendliness of a greasy spoon with the rich taste experience of top street cuisine, this tiny shop keeps many in East London moving 24/7 with an oven that doesn’t sleep.

Though weekend and Saturday tickets are already long gone, Sunday tickets remain which includes Nas and A Tribe Called Quest hitting the stage ahead of a closing set by both Justin Timberlake and Jay Z.

This bagel shop has stayed true to authenticity since 1977 and has just enough space to eat in if you catch it at a non-busy period.

Bullshit London

Holi Festival of Colours UK

The Statue of Queen Anne, St Paul’s Cathedral, EC4M 8AD, Every Thursday, 7pm (unless it’s “really raining”), £10

Battersea Power Station, 188 Kirtling Street, London, SW8 5BP, August 10-11 £37.99 (includes five bags of paint)

Walking tours of cities can be boring and exhausting.

This tour’s founders, Terry Chatshit and BS Elliot throw away the history books and show you what London would be like if Monty Python was queen.

This is your chance to literally paint the town red (or any other colour). This festival combines DJs, bars and vibrant powder paint.

This little known gem will share with you where Queen Victoria exploded and how to smell the Thames mermaid. wuwomagazine.com

A second date has been added and tickets still remain.

The non-toxic powder paint coats everything and everyone with a layer of beautiful colours.

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6 THE PROHIBITION

Retronaut A Time Traveller

Walk into any of the 50,000 plus pubs in the UK and you can buy a pint without any secret passwords, risk of arrest or involvement with organized gangs. However, if you were a beer thirsty American from 1920-1933, these are the problems you’d face under prohibition. Boardwalk Empire may uncover the drama of the prohibition era, but Retronaut uncovers the facts and allows you to see the past like you wouldn’t believe.

A tower of stacked up alcohol barrels disposed of during the prohibition

“Lips That Touch Liquor Shall Never Touch Mine” shop banner

We Want Beer picketing crowd

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Prohibited beer being poured out into the street amongst a police raid

Ladies in the 1920’s posing next to the common “Lips That Touch Liquor Shall Not Touch Ours” slogan

We Want Beer float during a protest parade wuwomagazine.com

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Boardwalk Empire Character Review and Competition Boardwalk Empire fits in with WUWO’s love for all things vintage. As we are a major fan of HBO’s output and this series third season, we couldn’t let the opportunity slide for as many of you as possible to have the chance to win the box set. Read on and immerse yourself in a cocktail of gangsters, prohibition and strong, bootlegged booze.

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GILLIAN DARMODY wuwomagazine.com

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BOARDWALK EMPIRE

Five of our favourite characters: Bobby Cannavale as Gyp Rosetti

This Sicilian gangster from ‘New York Gyp’ is a paranoid, easily offended and violent man with a cruel streak.

One comment out of line and you’re in big trouble….

Most probably in some painful or gruesome way.

This is not the kind of man you would want to meet but his ranting and childish tantrums are hilarious. This tough guy also has some unexpected sexual preferences!

Gretchen Mol as Gillian Darmody

BOX SET GIVEAWAY WUWO has four DVD box sets of seasons one to three to give away.

This manipulative former showgirl is the owner of Atlantic City’s posh brothel. She preys on the weak, talks the talk of the gangsters and schmoozes politicians. This lady has no shame and definitely harbours some issues.

Steve Buscemi as Enoch “Nucky” Thompson

Intelligent and charming, Nucky is the man about town in Atlantic City. A real people’s person on the surface, who can get anything and do anything. However, he is the master of corruption and underhand dealings who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. But somehow you just can’t help but love this womanising, ex-politician turned mob boss.

To enter, simply email competition@wuwomagazine.com with your address and “Booze” as the subject.

Stephen Graham as Al Capone

A young Al Capone is a violent Chicago gangster who is always in the right. He’s new in town and is making it known. He’s prone to loosing his head when he has something to fight for. He is not afraid of going against mob protocol and surprisingly, he gets away with it. He is brutal with a big mouth, but likeable all the same.

AL CAPONE

Michael Kenneth Williams as Albert “Chalky” White

Chalky is a tough yet fair gangster trying to gain respect and become a mainstream player in Atlantic City during a time of segregation.

He has proved himself loyal and dependable, but at the same time only trusts himself.

GYP ROSETTI

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BOARDWALK EMPIRE

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ALBERT “CHALKY” WHITE

BOARDWALK EMPIRE: THE COMPLETE THIRD SEASON is out on DVD and Blu-ray from August 5 2013 and is available to download, own and watch instantly via blinkbox now, courtesy of HBO Home Entertainment.

Prohibition USA: Fast Facts 1920-1933 • So convinced were they that alcohol was the cause of virtually all crime that, on the eve of Prohibition some towns actually sold their jails.

• The speakeasy got its name because one had to whisper a code word or name through a slot in a locked door to gain admittance.

• New York City alone had about thirty thousand (yes, 30,000) speakeasies. Even public leaders flaunted their disregard for the law. They included the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, who owned and operated an illegal still.

• Some desperate and unfortunate people during Prohibition falsely believed that the undrinkable alcohol in antifreeze could be made safe and drinkable by filtering it through a loaf of bread. It couldn’t and many were seriously injured or killed as a result.

ENOCH “NUCKY” THOMPSON

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• Notorious bootlegger Al Capone made $60,000,000 per year (untaxed!) while the average industrial worker earned less than $1,000 per year.

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Jaguar Skills

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JAGUAR SKILLS

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Jaguar Skills is a balaclava clad DJ famous for his cut-n-paste style mixes, Radio 1 and 1Xtra mix tapes and his dojo-like multi-genre wisdom. WUWO met Jaguar to talk new albums, ninjas and hip-hop.

How did the track ‘Bang’ with Danny Byrd come about?

I had a radio show on BBC Radio One and I always liked Danny Byrd’s stuff. He sent me a couple of dubplates and they really worked in the club.

I came up with this like mash up of Ante Up by MOP and I found the original sample of that tune. It was this old soul record.

It took about a year on and off but I think that’s just the way Danny works. If you get a tune to where you want, leave it for a couple of months then listen to it again, you’ve got a better understanding of how you want to sit with it. Anyway, I did a bit of the hip hop beat and Danny did the main drop.

Do you have a track for if you’re driving and you want to get hyped?

Weirdly it’s the Two Live Crew’s Greatest Hits. I honestly used to hate them. I used to think it was the worst stuff I had ever heard. I’d also pick stuff like Eric B and Rakim’s first and second album, there’s a tune called Let The Rhythm Hit ‘Em. It’s the one.

I’m getting ready to do this big hip hop show soon, I’ve been getting my tunes together and the MCing then is much better than it is now.

It’s the next level man. Like proper lyrics, really amazing storytelling, bigger vocabulary and the flows were more exciting. A lot of the MC’s who I like now are British MC’s. I don’t really rate any of the American ones; a lot of these guys have taken a style.

Back in the day, back in the 90s, and late 80s, if you had a style anything like the next guy’s one you were whack man. You had to have your own style. It’s quite commercialized now.

If you said this track’s for the radio and this is my underground single, people would be like, why? Just release your underground single.

At the moment I’m listening to a lot of other genres like jazz, funk and other stuff.

Would you ever consider doing a history of jazz mix?

Can you imagine? You’d have to be 300 years old to know all the tunes, there’d be so many of them. Like yeah I could do the history of sound in one minute but it would just be a high pitched noise.

You can play 50,000 songs in five minutes but it sounds awful. It’s like some guy in a kung fu film just doing flying kicks all the time and that’s all you can do. It’s more powerful to land a big right hook to the face.

When the guy pops out with the sword in Indiana Jones, Indiana is about to whip him and he’s like you know what? Sod it! He shoots him and that’s it.

One move.

I’ve heard you’re a big fan of B movies, any you’d recommend?

This guy Godfrey Ho made all of these crap movies and one of them is called Ninja Terminator. wuwomagazine.com

I recommend that to you and the readers. Ninja Terminator.

If you were to put on a show anywhere in the world, what’s your location?

It’d have to be in Japan on Iga mountain in japan.

Sounds majestic.

It’s because that’s where the ninjas come from my friend. That is the first village in the family line of the ninjas, if they ever even existed.

What do you find so inspiring about ninjas?

That was the thing I was into when I was a kid man. I was totally obsessed, like there’s a picture of me when I’m two in a ninja suit. Ninjas are warriors. All he is is a sword. If a ninja ever did pop up you wouldn’t see his face you wouldn’t see anything .They’re gonna get you.

The guy who taught me martial arts looks like a beer barrel but he will savage you. He’s the fastest guy I’ve ever seen.

It’s amazing, unbelievable.

My life hasn’t been plain sailing. Out of the amount of crap people get in life I think I’ve definitely had a fair share and to get me through I’ve become a warrior.

It’s very much black and white. When I’m offstage I’m not that guy. But when Jaguar Skills goes in it’s a dojo to him. And you’re the students. And we’re gonna get down.

So did you start your music career as a ninja?

No, I didn’t start with a mask on, that’d be ludicrous.

Who would start with a mask on? I was djing for like 10 years, then I wore it once and people started talking about me. It’s almost like Clark Kent and Superman.

Do you think you’ll ever take it off?

Who could tell right now? Maybe when I’m 70 years old and I can’t get a mask off.

You’ll have to find a special cupboard to change in.

I know yeah can you imagine, in an old people’s home with a mask on and everyone is like, “Chill out, that’s Jaguar Skills, it’s cool, he’s just sharpening death stars in a wheelchair with a mask on. It’s fine. Just leave him to it.”

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WUWO TECH

WUWO Tech “I’m Sam, I work at Clock, one of the UK’s top digital agencies and write for WUWO about all things gadget and geeky.”

Please direct all abuse, compliments, thoughts and suggestions to sam@wuwomagazine.com

Myo – www.thalmic.com/myo Although you still won’t be able to use the force, the mass market will soon be able to get one step closer to ultimate Sci-Fi heaven with Myo. Strapping on your forearm, Myo uses the electrical activity in the movement of your muscles to interact with all your favourite devices through gesture.

While it may seem like technology only imaginable in Minority Report, with a release date set for 2014 and an RRP of $160, this one is soon-to-be a real game-changer.

You heard it hear first.

Play Brass Monkey – www.playbrassmonkey.com Cut The Rope and Candy Cush are good for so long but sometimes you need something with a bit more zest to quench the gaming thirst. Enter Brass Monkey.

With any internet-enabled screen and the app downloaded you can rock up and play using your phone as the controller (I know you’re skeptical, but take it from some of us that have lost a few hours already – this one really works).

Not only can you do various games from puzzles to sports, shoot ‘em ups to action and adventure but you can also have up to four players drop in on the screen together as long as they’re on the same WiFi. Definitely one to dedicate your lunch break to.

YPlan – www.yplanapp.com Looking to hit the town tonight but feeling fairly uninspired? When the pub’s just not cutting it, it’s good to know exactly what else London has to offer that night.

Dubbed ‘Tonight’s going out app’, Yplan takes the drama out of spontaneity with a two-tap payment system. from gigs to parties, events to entertainment and food to festivals –Yplan is carefully curated to cater so you’ll never be at a loose end in London again.

Yplan is now available on the Apple App store and you can sign-up now to be one of the first to get it on Android.

Durex’s Fundawear For how amazing tech is, one real-world hurdle has been just too big – and that’s the dreaded long-distance relationship. Skype’s great, but even the most passion fuelled ‘sexting’ can begin to dwindle – until now.

Durex’s new concoction, ‘Fundawear’ looks at addressing precisely this. The new range of underwear lets couples ‘touch’ each other over the internet. With built-in stimulating touch-points, you’re able to control one another’s pleasure via the iPhone app making it easier than ever before to get (and give) some satisfaction.

Although not out quite yet, there are already contests to be able to win a pair so we’re assuming it’s not a long wait now. Not that we’re eager for Fundawear, heaven’s no. wuwomagazine.com

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ART EXPLORER

Art Explorer Rob Hunter’s new book, Map Of Days has just been released through Nobrow, WUWO hosts a selection of his work in our monthly print gallery.

THOUGHTFUL NARRATIVE wuwomagazine.com

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ART EXPLORER

To find out more info about interview, visit www.Nobrow.net www.RobertFrankHunter.com

STUNNING WORK GRAPHIC FICTION ENGAGING STORY TELLING wuwomagazine.com

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WUWO REGULAR | WUWO LIKES 19

WUWO Likes Every month the WUWO team trawls the internet, hangs around in music shops, goes to the cinema and sits in front of the telly. We compress a month’s worth of intensive procrastination into WUWO Likes, a brief guide to this month in media.

Album Pet Shop Boys - Electric - Release Date July 14th They were always on my mind, and now they’ll be on yours too. North Shields boy Neil Tennant and the Lancashire lad Chris Low have busted out their first self released Album. The Nine-track album titled Electric, is so aptly named that the simplicity of it is almost deserving of a award. This mixture of moody energetic techno gives a taste of what long running artists can still produce. In many respects they cornered their own genre in music, selling up to 70 million albums in the process. Electric is the duos first album since leaving label Parlophone, well lets hope it has a certain what’s the word, electricity.

Film The Wolverine – Release Date July 26th Well here’s something for you to get your claws into, the 2009 Wolverine is touted as a mere cub compared to ‘The wolverine’ in July. Hugh Jackman adorns his claws for another romp as the struggling and angry X-man, Logan. The tussle between mortality and immortality, the battle between memories and truth and the battle between creating another pile of over produced crap and a well thought out Marvel adventure. Based on the critically acclaimed comic book Arc, it seems the directors, actors and producers have the tools, but will they cut deep enough?

Online Frequency – www. frequency.com Reading stuff, I mean god. Just imagine if there was a way you could set up all your favourite sites like Reddit, Vice and the Guardian and have 5min clips of the best bits. You may never have to read again! OK that’s a bad thing we know, but sometimes in the mornings you just want to munch your cereal and let the magic box do the thinking. With most aggregation sites there are some restrictions as to which sights you can stream from, but Frequency has a vast list to choose from.

With ITN to Huffington post, social documentaries and current lectures you can tailor your consumption to your unique needs.

DVD The Evil Dead - Release Date July 16th Sam Raimi’s 1981 horror classic has been gently picked up by Fede Alvarez, as he dusts off this cult classic to be offered to the modern effects team. There is a certain charm and mysticism to old horror films, their fear inducement is almost compounded by the cheap sets and out dated make up team. Yet feature film newcomer Fede Alarez has test tubed, surrogated and birthed a thrillingly scream worthy flick. Competing with The Cabin in the Woods, this remake had a lot to live up to, and it did with each scream, yelp and pillow burrowing. wuwomagazine.com wuwomagazine.com

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20 FASHION | WUWO REGULAR

Fashion WUWO's fashion section seeks out the best, the bold and the fresh in fashion, presented in digestible chunks alongside exclusive item giveaways.

Competition

WIN: WESC Super Summer Sunglasses RRP £125 It’s only famous people who can get away with wearing sunglasses indoors - or at least so it has been until now.

Available in the styles Puma, Havana and Moose Matte Black, they’re good on the beach, in the city and possibly indoors. They’re god damn nice and new for the Summer of 2013!

WUWO has a pair to giveaway to a lucky reader, simply: 1. Address an email to competition@wuwomagazine.com 2. Write “Super Summer” as the subject 3. Enter address 4. Click send before August 2

11 Boundary 11 boundary Street, London E2 11 Boundary is a chic boutique in the heart of East London, stocking a carefully curated selection of the best indie designers from all over the world – a great little fashion find!

Byentering,entreesagreetoreceiveWUWO’snewsletter with exclusive online content and more competition opportunities. Good luck!

www.11boundary.com

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WUWO REGULAR | FASHION 21

Are You Fashionable?

Are You FAB? Originally the creators looked to set up a gay social network but it became a massive online retail phenomenon. More than 13 million people use FAB to discover, connect with exciting designers and share their design inspirations. Fab promotes a way of life from your clothes, to your sofa, to the plates you eat from.

We talk to Tracy Doree, Senior Vice President of Merchandise to get an exciting insight into all things FAB. FAB sells nearly everything including home ware, pet accessories, sex toys, vintage, jewellery and clothes.

How would you describe its fashion offering?

We have a huge pool of unusual designers, from emerging to established, from couture to highstreet. We don’t have limits when it comes to cost range and we expose unheard designers from remote areas of the globe.

How many designers sell via the FAB website?

By February 2012 FAB has made £20 million in sales and we have over 1,200 designers onboard. This year we are travelling the globe to source materials and fabrics to make our own diverse collections.

what sort of person is a FAB customer?

An urban, modern and colourful person, they are a leader in what they like to wear. We don’t follow trends we start them!

Do you only stock limited amount of certain items so people are getting something relatively unique?

People don’t just wear clothes anymore they want to wear a conversation starter. Something people notice.

We have special flash sales from unique designers and this happens daily. We use a countdown clock to let people know how long is left.

It is notoriously difficult as a designer to crack the industry. Do you think FAB gives them a better chance?

We hear from our designers how we have helped them get other retail partners, build their business exposure on a global scale and give them enough capital to design and sell their next collection.

What’s your current favourite quirky fashion item for summer?

I went to Glastonbury this year and we saw our range of ‘flip-up-t-shirts’ everywhere! They look relatively understated until you pull the t-shirt over your head to reveal a monster or animal face. You see them in the crowds from a mile off!

Terry DeHavilland Margeux Gold Shoes Famous for both his designs and drug-fuelled 70’s parties, Terry is still hand making Couture shoes worn by the likes of Kate Moss, he continues to develop and design his Ready to Wear collection. www.tdhcouture.com

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GADGETS | WUWO REGULAR

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Gadgets Some gadgets will save you time, bring you amusement or make life easier, others will do the opposite. Each month WUWO separates the two and brings you practical, fun and occasionally absurd gadgets.

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1 2 1. BAXBO FlaskTie £19.95

2. Scratch Map: World Map £11.95

3. Grow Your Own Coffee £5.99

The 50’s work environment of office smoking, casual sexism and drinking at your desk is long gone for a good reason. If you slam a bottle of whisky on your table on Friday morning, your boss is more likely to ask you to leave than ask for a glass.

Ideally suited for both frequent travellers and budding world dominators, this poster allows you to scratch off the places you’ve been/ pillaged and invaded.

Colombia is the source of much of the world’s favourite stimulant, but the distance, terrain and armed kidnappings make getting a fresh cup of coffee a lot harder than it should be.

That’s fine (we didn’t want to share anyway), the BAXBO FlaskTie allows you to hide your drink in plain sight through combining a camelbak with a tie that looks like it came out of a Christmas cracker.

www.hotcraze.co.uk

Users may bump into problems if they’ve visited South Sudan or Palestine as this map is older than the former and doesn’t acknowledge the latter. Then again, if you go holidaying in a war zone you might have bigger problems to address.

This kit cuts out the middle-middlemiddle-men and allows you to grow your own beans at home.

Simply fill the cup, plant the seed and place in a good amount of sunlight.

The map works in a similar manner to a scratch card, except the only thing you win is a sense of achievement.

It even comes in a “growing mug” which doubles up as an ordinary one come harvest season.

www.play.com

www.monsterstuff.co.uk

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WUWO REGULAR | GADGETS

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6 4. Laundry Punch Bag £20

5. Neurosky Necomimi £69.95

6. Marchi Mobile eleMMent RV £1,900,000

We all know someone who would rather leave their dirty clothes where they drop than put them in a basket (if you don’t know this person it’s probably you).

After growing up with Star Wars, we all dream of using “the force” to strangle incompetent colleagues or throw objects.

Anyone who has ever been on a long coach journey can appreciate the value of space when travelling. If you value it to the tune of £1.9 million, you should probably consider this bus/hotel/ monstrosity.

However, when you connect laundry completion with raw impulse satisfaction, even your messiest friend will clean like a housewife and sting like a bee in a few days.

Simply fill with soft clothing (probably best to get your chainmail dry-cleaned anyway), and pretend you’re half Tyson and half Kim and Aggie.

www.suck.uk.com wuwomagazine.com

While we aren’t quite there yet, this cat ear head piece picks up when we are relaxed, focused or ‘in the zone’ using electroencephalogram sensors and reacting accordingly.

So while we can’t yet get rid of morons with our minds, we can at least let them know we are too busy to be disturb.

www.red5.co.uk facebook.com/whatsupwhatson

With a fireplace, roof terrace, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, living room, cabin, under floor heating and bar, this 20 tonne home on wheels has more living space and rooms than a lot of London flats.

But don’t get too jealous, this glow-in-the-dark R/V looks like someone dropped an industrial AC unit on a limo from a height. www.firebox.com @whatsupwhatson

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GIMMICKS | WUWO REGULAR

Gimmicks Whether it’s a hole in your sock, burnt toast or lost keys, sometimes the little things in life are the most frustrating, we’ve got some tips to make your day go more smoothly.

Making A Meal Of Your Leftovers

Get Your Stuff Back

Too lazy to cook? Too skint for a pizza? That means that leftover lasagna lurking in the fridge will have to do. Now you can make it so much more tastier and enjoyable.

We all have that friend who’s an accidental thief or just really forgetful.

Create a hole in the middle of your meal. by doing so heat will be distributed much more evenly.

Where’s that Blu-Ray Lord of the Rings trilogy that you got for Christmas? Chances are you lent it out and it’s long gone after being passed around. Unless you’re Liam Neeson you’re probably never getting it back.

Unfortunately that bowl is still going to be nuclear hot, life hack for that coming soon. Or just use an oven mitt.

Here’s how to avoid this. Create a new folder in your photo gallery to store your evidence.

Now take a picture of your mate holding the borrowed item and save in the aforementioned folder.

Indestructible Packaging

Clipping Cables

In the same league as adamantium and the Nokia 3310, this substance is also indestructible. I am of course talking about blister packs, used to pack electronic, household items, toys and medicine. Its use in the former transforms it into a vein popping source of exhausted patience and anger.

If your floor also looks like someone dropped a bowl of black spaghetti, you too have a cable problem. Don’t worry, the first step is admitting it.

However, learn this trick and it’ll never be a problem again! Simply take a can opener to it and you’ll have your goods in seconds...

Unless what you’re opening is your new can opener…

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The next step is to get yourself a couple of binder clips, attaching them to the edge of your desk/furniture and running the cables through them.

Not only does this keep them tangle free and out of the way, next time your phone is on the verge of death, instead of scrabbling for the charger end, the clip will keep it in place.

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AISLING BEA | WUWO REGULAR

Aisling Bea The Walking Dead, What Do You Do? So I have just been watching The Walking Dead. I know, I’m late to the party, but better to turn up late, than early, when there’s just an abundance of pretzels and a nervous host.

For those who don’t know what TWD is, I will spoil nothing but it’s an American TV show about a world over-run by flesh eating Zombies. Once bitten, twice you die. Yet it is mainly about people of all ages and walks of life being left to survive and how they do it.

It would seem that in the event of an apocalypse, what we do doesn’t matter. It is what we can or could do.

We often assume that by asking people what they do for a living, we’ll be able to get a correct poppsychology painting of them; a grave digger will hardly be much craic, a butcher won’t make for a very sensitive lover if he’s bashing and chopping up meat all day, and a playwright probably drinks in the mornings.

But with the recession-yadda-yadda, many people who used to do things are un-employed. Do we then assume that they don’t do anything now? Our old system of measuring a man by his job is as moot now as it will be in the event of zombie attack. It limits not only who we give our time to, but more importantly, deciding who to take in our survivor army. In one scene of TWD, the comic relief character reveals his skill for planning escape routes. Impressed, they ask him what he did beforehand and he replies “Pizza Delivery”.

It is time we changed the question from “And what do you do?” to “WOULD YOU BE OF VALUE DURING THE APOCALYPSE?”

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For me myself. The answer is a firm NO. And I tell you what lads, it would take me out straight away, not for a drink, I would kill me. If the Zombies attack and this first world goes all third world on our arses, I have nothing to offer the team.

I’d like to think I’m mildly entertaining at parties. I can clean and do basic DIY, but I still can’t drive - not even a ride-on lawnmower. While I’m onstage, I don’t understand what goes on at the electrics desks with the lights and plugs. I have bad circulation and am always cold. Most of my skills are laptop dependent.

I’m not even sure I know how to write with a pen any more. I’m flexible and can hula-hoop, but my upper arm strength is terrible and I can’t climb. I don’t own a caravan. I’m a good cleaner, I’d keep the camp tidy and I’ve also watched enough Ready Steady Cook to take a few foraged items and make an interesting dinner, but I can’t run. I would slow us down.

Ultimately people would get killed for my jazzed up Tuna-Leaf-Lemonade Surprise. I’m always bruised from bumping into things as my aim is slightly off.

I once battered my nose from the recoil of a wooden fairground gun trying to shoot plastic ducks. I would absolute be a liability with a real gun. I’m scared of mice, rats, rabbits, squirrels, pigeons and anyone making unexpected movements. I shout “Jesus” very loudly when spooked and we all know that noise attracts the zombies. I’m not great with pain. I take Paracetemols “in case” I get a headache and as I’ve never had any brothers, I cry if someone punches my arm. I couldn’t beat snow off a rope.

My mother is a retired jockey. She can ride a horse, knows the basics of farming, animal care and as a single mother, learned how to make tough decisions for the good of the group. She also loves food from tins. You should keep my mother.

My sister is in costume design. It sounds fancy, but she knows how to sew, the strength of fabrics and for a small woman can carry more giant bags on less food than a big man. You should keep her too.

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AISLING BEA | WUWO REGULAR

But you should kill me, and at the very beginning.

I work in comedy and I’m Irish, so I’d do anything to charm you and get you to love me. The longer you leave it, the more attached you will get to me, which will make it harder to do once you realise what a burden I’ve become.

Now I’m not saying that I wouldn’t be as handy as a small pot once things get settled. When we need to re-build society, make and educate children, put on plays in the woods and maybe do a campsite fashion show, I’d be all over that like a fat kid on fructose syrup. But when shit is really mean and it’s about basic survival, kill me.

Make a rope from my strong hair, perhaps some ivory bullets from my teeth and a protein rich soup and some sandwiches out of my body. I can imagine that as a pink person, I will taste of ham.

Because when the walking dead are on their way to eat your face, it doesn’t matter about ha, ha, ha, ha, just staying alive, staying alive. wuwomagazine.com

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28

Visit some

www.wuwomagazine.com back stories to get more mind fuel (VIDEO) RICH SIMMONS: ONLINE ART GALLERY+ STUDIO TOUR

Rich Simmons had his first breakthrough with a street piece topical to the 2011 Royal Wedding.

The piece entitled ‘Future ***King’ depicted the royal couple as Sid & Nancy of the Sex Pistols and he reached a global audience within hours.

INTERVIEW WITH THE COMPUTERS

Exeter’s five-piece band, The Computers, made up of Screaming Al, Sonny Crawford, Fred E Stare, Nice Ron and Aidan Sin, sat down with us to discuss vegetarianism, suiting up and the formation of a real-life love triangle.

FESTIVAL GADGETS

Even if you’ve watched every episode of Ray Mears out there, surviving in the Serengeti requires different skills and tools to surviving a weekend of music and overpriced (yet copious amounts of) cider. That’s where our festival wuwomagazine.com @whatsupwhatson facebook.com/whatsupwhatson gadgets guide comes in.

BLAG IT | WUWO REGULAR

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Blag it As a Psychic

Becoming a psychologist requires years of training, a scientific approach and a qualification to prove it. If you don’t want to let these pesky little nuances get in your way and own a shawl and some incense sticks, why not become a psychic?

Ali Cook is a magician, comedian and star of the soon to be released UK film Get Lucky. He also created TV show ‘Psychic Secrets Revealed’ with Darren Brown.

Ali agreed to teach us the tricks of the trade.

Preach To The Converted “Being a psychic is a poor man’s therapy. If you are going to a psychic, they don’t need to convince you, they are preaching to the converted. A psychic’s average customer usually has recently divorced, lost someone or are there just for fun, so most of these people have an obvious, pressing problem.”

Believe What You Say “A mentalist magician, Dunninger had a phrase, ‘For those who believe no explanation is necessary, for those who don’t believe no explanation will suffice.’ I think 99% of psychics think they’re real.”

Another benefit of believing what you say is that other people are more likely to believe you based on your body language, which is actually a large part of: Cold Reading “Sigmund Freud said “we leak the truth from every pore.” What this means is that we are very bad liars.

Most people aren’t in tune to this. People you’d normally describe as intuitive are just very good at spotting minute body language signals. When you see a medium, their aim is to give you some information you think they shouldn’t know.

“Use a sentence that could apply to a lot of people at the same time like a horoscope. Classics are: “Outwardly, you seem like a very outgoing person, but you actually feel insecure’ or ‘you have some financial issues.’ If you say it this way it’s obvious, but when said inperson and in a more subtle way, people suddenly go “oh my god you’re right.” After a few of these phrases they just wait for a reaction. It’s a systematic means of working out more information.” wuwomagazine.com

ALI COOK – ACTOR/COMEDIAN/MAGICIAN/ PSYCHIC BUSTER Hot Reading “There are TV mediums who say ‘I’m doing a tour in your area, contact me with your troubles, and perhaps the spirits will come through for you.’ People are sending the information that the psychic reads back to them, yet they forget that they’d given that information away already.

I think Google has destroyed the need for psychic powers, it doesn’t even take as much to be a spy these days, just look them up on Facebook!”

WUWO bonus tips: • Pick a mystical name like Percy the Magnificent or Gemini Nightshade • Put a finger to each temple like you’re trying to make their head explode • If you get stuck, tell them the signal to the spirit world is fading For a full interview with Ali regarding his upcoming film release ‘Get Lucky’, pick up next month’s edition of WUWO. If you can’t wait that long and find yourself north of the border, pay him a visit at his current string of dates at Edinburgh Magic Festival.

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Crossrail

WUWO Goes Under London

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Sitemap of Crossrail’s Plumstead Drill Site

How do you build 42km of tunnels under one of the most densely populated areas in the world? What do you do with 7,300,000m³ of displaced earth? How do you work in an environment pressurised enough to boil blood?

While the Olympics stole the limelight, Crossrail was underway and under London with a substantially larger budget of £14.8 billion, making it the biggest ongoing construction project in Europe.

WUWO went underground to meet Sofia, a tunnel boring machine weighing in at around 1,000 tonnes with a length of nearly 150 metres.

On site: The Plumstead Crossrail site is in charge of getting Sophia to reach and go under The Thames to meet up with her sisters, Elizabeth and Victoria. Preparing to go down into the tunnels requires a briefing which would leave a claustrophobe in tears.

A: Briefing room: Everyone who enters the tunnels has to know how to put a self contained re-breather on in under 30 seconds. This looks like a snorkel jammed upside down into a hemp bag. In case of a tunnel collapse, fire or other emergency, this will give you 30 minutes of air, assuming you keep calm while trapped under 100 feet of earth while the air you’re breathing becomes hot and dry from the chemical reaction.

B: Filtering systems: Unlike the soft clay north of the river, the earth to the south is waterlogged bands of chalk and flint, to deal with this, Sofia uses a pressurized semi-liquid clay called bentonite to fill the cutter head and remove the earth and rock from the tunnel in a liquid mix known as slurry. High-tech filtration systems, centrifuges and settling tanks remove the waste products leaving the water and bentonite to

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be pumped back into the cutter head. Of the six million tonnes of earth removed, 4.5 million will be transported by rail and boat to Wallsea to build a new nature reserve for the RSPB. C: Medical site: The site also has a hyperbaric chamber, commonly used to treat those with decompression sickness, also known as ‘the bends’. This is necessary as the pressure in some parts of the tunnel can reach beyond human tolerances. Site manager, Dan Bermingham suffered from the bends on a previous project and described as “someone sticking knitting needles into your joints.”

D: Segment storage: Once drilled, the walls of the tunnel are lined with pre-made curved concrete segments which form rings to support the newly created space.

Each ring is formed of seven segments and a keystone.

Each segment weighs three and a half tonnes and takes a month to set, Crossrail requires 250,000 in total.

E: Drill shaft: The tunnel boring machine (TBM) was lowered in and constructed in a trench. A new method of starting the TBM was developed here called a “flying start”, site manager Dan Bermingham described this as “a pressure ring which the tension rods run through.

They have a jack on them which pushes the machine forward. It’s very fast, very safe and very accurate.

Normally you launch using a thrust frame that wobbles, when you remove the bindings, it’s dangerous.”

F: Tunnel entrance: The tunnel entrance is guarded constantly by a two foot statue of St Barbara, the patron saint of miners. While short in stature, she is present on nearly every tunnel construction and is an essential part of opening a tunnel for work. The mouth of the tunnel also includes the ventilation and bentonite pipes

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Side view of Sofia, Crossrail Tunnel Boring Machine

and a track for the transport of concrete segments.

Dan.

1: The cutter head space is filled with pressurized bentonite to both support the walls before the concrete segments are added and to remove the material drilled by the rotating heads.

5. Riding on top of one of the largest land vehicles in the world shows the length of the TBM. The site manager describes the rate of process, “we work in 12 hour shifts, it can be quite competitive. If one team does eight rings in a day, the other wants to get nine. We’ve gone from doing nine rings a day to doing 11.”

2: Hydraulic cylinders provide thrust to push the cutter head forward and help to turn the TBM and create bends in the tunnel.

3. A rotating arm positions the concrete segments which are vacuumed to the walls and fixed in place with concrete. The combination of setting concrete, electronics and heavy machinery can bring the tunnel temperature up to 50 degrees Celsius in some countries.

4. The control room is effectually the driver’s seat of the TBM with screens and panels monitoring and controlling gas levels, atmospheric pressure, movement, speed, direction, power and communication. Outside the slurry removal tunnel there’s a distinctive sound from the slurry removal tunnel. “That rattling in the pipe shows we are passing through a band of flint” says

E

6. Every work place needs a staff room and Sophia is no different. Towards the rear there’s a bathroom and a small canteen.

7. This is a rescue chamber, it seats 20 people and can house more standing. It is fully pressurized with a heavy sealable door, very similar to a submarine’s.

Dan further described what this means for workers, “The rescue chambers give us 48 hours in the event of a collapse; it’s the first time it’s been used in this country.”

8. The tunnel has its own temporary railway line, carts are used to bring the concrete segments and supplies into the tunnel.

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A

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B

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An afternoon of inspiring, thought-provoking and entertaining talks EXPLORING HOW ART AND SCIENCE FIT TOGETHER IN THE MODERN WORLD

23 September 2013 Book now

royalalberthall.com Find out more at TEDxAlbertopolis.com Box office 0845 401 5034

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WUWO REGULAR | GAMEPLAY

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Gameplay Here’s a list of some June games for all your black mirrors.

Pikmin 3 – July 26th – Wii U Real Time Strategy Pikmin 3 is the highly anticipated sequel fresh from the mind of Nintendo maestro, Shigeru Miyamoto. The Wii U has been criticised for lacking killer titles to justify purchasing the console, as well as being criticised for not making Pikmin 3 available at launch. But better late than never as we step back into this critically acclaimed series and warm up to the Wii U. In this strategy game you take control of three new characters on the planet Koppai, where the inhabitants are suffering a food shortage. The main question on everyone’s mind is what happened to series original Captain Olimar? Miyamoto-san has revealed that, that fact is a secret to be discovered.

Will we learn of Captain Olimar’s fate?

Plants vs. Zombies: It’s About Time – July 18th – iOS Strategy A sequel eagerly anticipated by mobile gamers, The Plants vs.

Zombies series is further proof of how games on smartphones are more than a gimmick. Credibility is slowly building for this new gaming platform and Plants vs. Zombies: It’s About Time continues this revolution in gaming.

The formula of the original is still here with hordes of zombies forcing their way through your patio to munch on your delightful brains. You fight back by planting plants with unique abilities that decapitate, freeze and devour your un-dead foes. New plants have been added to your deadly flowery arsenal, it has also been confirmed that you can play every level and fight against new adversaries without any added costs.

Get your green thumbs ready!

Mario and Luigi: Dream Team – July 12th - 3DS Role-Playing Game The Mario and Luigi series is one for handheld gaming’s legendary status, not to be confused with the mainline Super Mario Bros series.

The Mario and Luigi series stands on its own legs with its immensely addictive role-playing game style as well as the humorous tone that will keep you charmed throughout.

Mario, Luigi and Princess Peach go on holiday to Pi’illo Island where people are able to enter another world via people’s dreams.

No prizes for guessing what happens next – yup Peach gets herself in kidnapped by a mysterious force that pulls her into Luigi’s dream world (a secret yearning for Peach? I smell a love triangle).

Got a 3DS? Give Mario some help with his woman. wuwomagazine.com

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DIY | WUWO REGULAR

DIY There’s nothing like the feeling of building something yourself. For those cumbersome types who can’t even assemble an IKEA cabinet, each month WUWO gives you simple, thrifty and nifty ideas to improve your surroundings.

Briefcase Bookshelf Has your brief case seen better days? With a little bit of work it can live a new life storing your books and knick knacks.

You Will Need A rigid-sided briefcase Wallpaper Wood PVA glue Drill Screws

Method Unscrew the hinges at the back of the suitcase

Decorate the inside of the case with stencils, wallpaper or wrapping paper Cut the wood to the correct width and length of the brief case’s inside your desired colour.

Screw the wood through the frame into the middle of the case.

Place books, jars or a flower jar at the top wuwomagazine.com

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WUWO REGULAR | DIY

Seashell Mirror Don’t worry if the girl selling sea shells on the sea shore got the best of you, we’ve got a quick and easy way to utilise those shells and an old mirror.

You Will Need A framed mirror Shells A glue gun Window/glass cleaner A Straight razor

Method Apply glue to the edges of the frame measuring 40x40cm

Starting at the corners, apply the shells to the frame

Use a straight razor to remove glue stains from the mirror and frame

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38 FELICITY WARD

Felicity Ward The Hedgehog Dilemma

After making her name down under in improv, sketch and panel TV shows, Felicity moved into Stand-up, wooing crowds with blunt-force-honesty and won an impressive array of awards from Melbourne to Edinburgh. WUWO caught up with her ahead of the last few dates of her show, The Hedgehog Dilemma.

How different were your first performances of The Hedgehog Dilemma?

It changes in a natural way, I don’t actively cut out or add bits, they just erode or appear.

Have you got a best heckle so far?

I wear a dress whichI take off in around 15 minutes.

(I’m wearing stuff underneath, don’t get too excited!). I do a song and my leg splits out of the dress, some guy yelled “take it off!”, I said “stick around!”, when I did take it off he shouted “put it back on!”

‘The hedgehog’s dilemma’ was penned and used by Schopenhauer and Freud, do you see yourself as a bit of a philosopher?

Haha no! Sometimes people read the blurb for this show and think it’s a bit high brow, rest assured there are PLENTY of dick jokes.

Would you be happy with life as a hedgehog?

They aren’t native to Australia so I don’t know the ins and outs of being a hedgehog. Hedgehogs used to get stuck in Mc Flurry lids apparently, I don’t want to be a hedgehog in that way, but I’d like to be admired like a hedgehog.

I’d like to think you’d be a bit smarter than sticking your head into a pot of spoilt cream?

I don’t know, I really like sugar.

So the Hedgehog Dilemma analogy fits in with this, where do lawn trimmers and moving traffic come in with this metaphor?

I can identify with the hedgehog; I’d like to be seen as adorable but with some kind of protection with my little spikes. Obviously I’m am vulnerable to being hit by cars so maybe we have more in common than we think.

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So the first joke you ever wrote involved incest, how old were you and is it that common?

I think I was like 11. Wait. First of all no, incest was not common there. I think I had access to a part of my brain that I shouldn’t have. Incest is not common where I’m from… I think. There’s a lot of petty theft but they haven’t yet upgraded to incest.

So they don’t call it a six finger discount?

Wheeeeyyyy haha!

Honesty is a big part of your set, has it ever got you into trouble?

When I was 17 I was in a play as a boy with cerebral palsy, I was running late and couldn’t find my train pass. I didn’t have money and I didn’t know what to do so I pretended to have cerebral palsy. It was a terrible thing to do.

A radio shock-jock saw the show and I applied for a radio internship.Onmyfirstdaytheex-Australianprimeminister, John Howard came in to visit. The DJ introduced me as having played a boy with cerebral palsy. He then asked me to perform part of my piece for the prime minister at 6am.

I tried to get out of it but the presenter kept pushing. I had to do a bit of the play for the prime minister and I think that was karma for lying.

You blogged some online dating advice, got any good advice?

I’m pretty reliant on other people’s advice. I went through online dating profiles with my friend, I picked one and she said “you can’t pick him! He’s used the word “amazeballs.” She had a really good point. Don’t ever use amazeballs in a dating profile.

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