Where are you going to go and celebrate FREEDOM this month? There are tons of things to do both individually, and in larger groups across the state of Iowa and beyond. The month of July, with the 4th being the designated day of the celebration of Independence, that has basically for the patriotic Americans at heart, taken over the entire month of July. I am totally ok with that. Red, White, and Blue is my favorite color, so seeing all the flags, decorations based upon flags, and seeing and hearing people doing about whatever they want is totally cool in my book. All of the displays on houses, at events, and in front of businesses allow me to build up my stash of images of flags for my daily Pledge of Allegiance posting on Facebook. Then all sorts of my friends and followers also follow suit and get me awesome images that they message me and text to me to share daily on my Facebook page. I appreciate all that, and love the interaction with people, and graciously and thankfully accept the flag image submissions.
I personally love our great country! I am not a fan of the government and what many in government are doing to gut the principles of our founding fathers, and it doesn’t matter what side of the “isle” they call home. As far as I am concerned, there are people with a “D” and an “R” behind their name that are ruining our country, our children and grandchildren’s futures, and everything that has made America great. I encourage each one of you to go out this month and celebrate the Freedom that we have left, and to continue to stand up and show your pride in our country, our flag, and our free way of life.
As this is the 170th issue of this magazine that we have published, we would like to voice our sincere and unwavering appreciation and respect for the many sponsors we have of the magazine. We could not do this without their support, and we are truly grateful for these businesses and people that have had our back throughout the last decade and a half, and especially the past four to five years. We have had some trying times, and the advertisers on our pages have made it all worth it. If you see their ads on our pages, or their name in the Biker Friendly Listing, please darken their door and let them know that Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you.
On the Cover the
Now get out and about and ride and enjoy the company of other like-minded people this month. We are going to try to hit quite a few different events and hope to see many of you out and about as well. First off, we are going to make an appearance in Algona at some point on the Holiday Weekend. Then we are going to Avoca for the 17th Annual Freeman Ride leaving out of the Exchange Lounge on July 6th. The next weekend of the 13th, Combat Vets has their 11th Annual Benefit Ride/Cruise in Elkport, as well as Breda American Legion Riders Legacy Run out of Breda. On that Sunday the 14th, Metro HD in Cedar Rapids is hosting the 620 Foundation Rumble to Recovery Ride, that this year will make 10 years and will hit the million-dollar mark in donations to the UIHC Children’s Hospital. On the 20th, HD of Carroll is hosting a kid’s night, which is a great way to get the little shavers interested in motorcycle riding and lifestyle. Also on the 20th, Big Barn HD is having their big Summer Celebration, and Zylstra HD is hosting Milwaukee Madness on the 20th of July as well. On the 27th of July then we are going to try to get down to go see Liz and crew for the 1st Annual Memorial Ride for Andy Wiese in Council Bluffs. There are so many things going on that we cannot hit them all, but we are going to be at as many as possible!
Hope to see you out on the road. Ride safe, ride often, rinse and repeat!
Vernon Schwarte
Proud Editor/Owner Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa Owner Thunder Guns and Thunder Guns West IMDA Board Member
MRF Iowa Assistant State Rep COC Liaison
NCOIR State of Iowa Representative vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Quote of the Month: “Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance” — Woodrow Wilson
Pete Leehey, Dan Matzdorff, and Jon “Ginger” Jansen are located in Iowa and Minnesota, but can help you with your legal needs anywhere in the Midwest. These guys are THE Biker Lawyers with an award-winning crew that is here to help you with your legal needs. They are not afraid to hop on and ride, or to stand up for you when you need them. You can reach them at www.thebikerlawyers.com or 877-209-9452
To all of our friends, acquaintances and fellow compatriots who have weathered or dodged the onslaught of storms and tornados: Well done. To all those who have lost family, loved ones and property: Our sincere prayers and sympathies. It’s been a rough year for many.
In the continual traveling, the going and doing of this season, the poem line about “Hope springs eternal in the human breast” stuck in my brain. As we hunkered down at the spring Conesville event watching a tornado system just a few miles north of us, the hope was that it wouldn’t turn our way or get that bad. Of course, circumstances being that there were canopies and tents collapsing and porta potties blowing across the field, it made us wonder about our hope being misplaced or overly optimistic. Obviously, we did survive another exciting event minus some camping equipment and went on to have a wonderful next couple of days. I started thinking about the difference between hope and faith, both vital gifts from God that while different are so tightly joined. At the CMA service on the morning following the storms, our brother Mark W. spoke about how important faith was to everyday life, including just riding our bikes. We have to have faith in those few inches of rubber that are in contact with the road and faith that our bikes are going to stay upright. The thing about riding is that we have to be moving to stay upright. Unless we have a kick stand, the bike will seek its natural state which is fallen over - much like us in that since Adam and Eve, our natural state is also fallen without something else to hold us up.
Many years ago, Karla and I attended a huge club funeral for one of their brothers who we also knew and had ridden with on several occasions. Upon arrival, Karla (who I should also mention was the only woman in attendance riding her own bike) and I both found places to park. We were just getting off the bikes when a funeral director asked us to move to another spot, close by but around the side of the building. The side walk being the most direct avenue, we were able to duck-walk the bikes to the assigned area, finishing the end row of many bikes. Having put her kick stand down earlier and then moving, Karla either somehow forgot to put it down again or didn’t have it engaged and her bike took a dive, narrowly missing dominoing the whole row. Fortunately, disaster was averted, though it was definitely witnessed. She escaped with just a broken mirror and a bruised ego. The guys nearby picked her up, handed her the broken mirror and commented that they were sure glad they hadn’t done that - an honest but not very encouraging word for her. We did notice afterwards on the ride to the cemetery that everyone seemed to give her a wide berth. Go figure, right? Anyway, she had faith in her kickstand, but the problem was that she didn’t correctly apply it.
The point being is that we can have hope and we can have faith but if not properly applied it can be false hope or blind faith. (Not the Blind Faith - Eric Clapton, Stevie Winwood, Ginger Baker, and Rick Grech many of my generation would automatically think of). To properly put our faith and hope in action, it has to be from God and directed to God. Then, as the Bible tells us, hope becomes a reality and not just a feeling. When we build our hope on the foundation
of faith in God, we can be sure that hope will never fail us. In contrast, if we just depend on positive circumstances to give us hope, we will be disappointed. While in our selves we are hopeful for good weather, jobs, health etc.… we can be certain that no matter the circumstances, God’s hope is available to us every day. It’s a certain and sturdy anchor or kickstand for our souls.
Faith leads us to the truth of God and hope helps us to put his goodness into action. We have and need both to stay upright and achieve the proper balance in life.
What is your faith and hope in and what are you depending on to keep you moving and upright? I John 5:4 tells us that “Whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith”. Proverbs 23:18 says, “There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.” So let us pay attention to that sense of hope springing eternal in our souls. God is the source, and Jesus is the way.
Blessings, Mark
Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org
The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories
Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Dirty Biker Design 122 S. John Wayne Drive Winterset, Iowa 50273 www.DirtyBikerDesign.com 515-444-9050
USA Fluid.Com 641-745-9360
Voice Only, NO TEXT Talk to Fready
Dealers
Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com
Heartland Harley-Davidson
117 S Roosevelt Ave Burlington, IA 52601 319-754-1100
www.heartlandhd.com
Indian Motorcycle of Mason City
Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181
Masoncitypowersportsinc.com
Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496
Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net
Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400 fullthrottleia.com
Harley-Davidson of Carroll 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
Food and Drink (Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
Ambro’s Roadhouse 917 Guthrie St De Soto, Iowa 50069 515-468-2236
Great Food!
Ambro’s Roadhouse on Facebook
Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849
Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
www.metro-motorsports.com
Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160
www.route65hd.net
Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd
Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460
Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223
www.zylstrahd.com
Entertainment
J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095
Open Tuesday - Sunday 11AM
Home of the Willie Whopper
Johnie’s Tap 112 NE 2nd Street Stuart, Iowa 50250 515-523-1146
Find Us on Facebook
Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600
www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com
Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087
Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings
Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255
Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google
Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321
Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
Kilroy’s Bar 1119 Thomas Street Redfield, Iowa 50233 515-833-2711
Hours and Event Updates on Facebook!
McCanns Tap NE 14th & 54th Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Bike Parking M-F 2:00-2 S-S 11:00-Close
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258
Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442
712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2
Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
Okoboji Classic Cars
Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
Jake’s Station 107 West HWY 59 Hancock, Iowa 51536 712-741-BEER
Like Our Page Jakes Station on Facebook
Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165
Northside Rec 511 Main Street Coon Rapids, Iowa 50058 (712) 999-2337
Find us on Facebook The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015
Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100
Find Us On Facebook!
Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998
Email:riversidetap@gmail.com
Shootout Saloon 3571 310th St Dexter
1 Mile West of Bonnie & Clyde Shootout 712-249-0041
Secluded Bar in the Woods
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
The Talk Shop Lounge 3357 St. Charles RD Saint Charles, Iowa 50240 515-333-4626
The Talk Shop Lounge on Facebook
Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway
Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122
Opens M-F 2-Close, Sat 9-Close, Sun 2-Close
Western Iowa Ice 514 East Street
Shelby, Iowa 51570 402-681-6521
Ice Delivered to Your Location
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609
Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports
The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com www.treasureislanddiecast.com
Legal
Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com
TheBikerLawyers.com
The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Photo and Art
Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Quilting
Bam-Bam Quilting 724 E Benton Winterset kerneskimmie@gmail.com 515-468-0264
Find us on Facebook
Shops & Fabricators
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651
www.fandjracing.com
Mean Machine Cycles Elkhart, Iowa 50073
Custom & Full-Service HD Repair Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat by appt only 515-367-7336
not so USELESS RAMBLINGS not so USELESS RAMBLINGS INDEPENDENCE DAY
I would like to think that anyone reading this has a basic understanding of the history of this great nation; how it started, who started it, the trials and tribulations along the way to get us where we are today. Although, there does seem to be more and more debate about the true story and maybe the public education system is now teaching a new version I don’t know about.
Who remembers that old poem that goes, “In fourteen hundred ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue?” Ol’ Chris sails off across the big waters and “discovers” new lands. Obviously, he didn’t actually discover anything, since there were already millions of people living here, he just happened to find a place he’d never been before. Between the four trips he made back and forth, his journeys marked centuries of exploration and colonization of North and South America.
Santo Domingo, the oldest continuously inhabited European settlement in the Americas, was settled in 1496. Then we jump ahead about 120ish years and we have the Mayflower Pilgrims who founded Plymouth Colony in December of 1620. Interestingly, the Pilgrims did not refer to Plymouth Rock in any of their writings; the first known written reference to the rock dates from 1715 when it was described in the town boundary records as “a great rock.” The first documented claim of Plymouth Rock as the landing place of the Pilgrims was made by 94-year-old Thomas Faunce in 1741, 121 years after the Pilgrims arrived in Plymouth.
Let us not forget, as stated before, we were not the first people on this continent. There were current civilizations here already and there were multiple other civilizations here before those. Civilizations have a tendency to come and go. Each one strives to live their best lives and flourish despite any adversity. Each one having to fight off anyone or anything else that would deprive them of their lives. Sometimes a Civilization will fall and give way to a new one. Settling the first territories and all those that followed were not easy tasks; countless lives have been lost in many historic battles as the country came to be what it is today.
Just as in past civilizations, the first European settlers here had to fight to stay alive. There were battles with the indigenous people and then came the battles with the British Crown. Many of our ancestors made the long, and often deadly trip, across the Atlantic Ocean to escape the heavy-handed rule of the crown. They wanted to live a life free from the burdens imposed upon them in Great Britain. However, that wasn’t what the crown wanted.
The colonists in America had no say in the policies that were being passed in Great Britain, but the crown was imposing taxes upon the colonies in an effort to pay their
debts after the French and Indian war. The passage of legislation like the Stamp Act (1765), the Townshend Act (1767) and the Tea Act (1773) forced colonists to pay more money to Great Britain. Since the colonists didn’t have a voice in Parliament, this became known as taxation without representation; a concept that was a major driving force behind the American Revolution.
Eventually, events such as the Boston Massacre and the Boston Tea Party escalated the disdain between British occupiers and American colonists and the Battles of Lexington and Concord broke out in Massachusetts when the Brit forces attempted to confiscate the colonist’s weapons. Thus began the American Revolution.
In June of 1776, the Continental Congress held a meeting in Philadelphia where Virginia statesman Richard Henry Lee proposed a motion for the colonies to declare independence from Britain. On July 2nd Lee’s motion was approved and two days later, July 4th, the Declaration of Independence was officially adopted. Needless to say, the crown was displeased. The Revolutionary War continued into September of 1783 when Britain finally realized we’d beaten them like a drum.
Here we are, 241 years later and we’re still fighting. There have been many years where we didn’t really notice a fight, where we believed that our freedom and our lives were our own, but there has always been, for want of a better word, a boogeyman in the shadows just biding its time, waiting for the proper time to strike. Working diligently, crafting all the little pieces, assembling the perfect machine, waiting.
Those colonists went on a rampage over three pennies per pound of tea. Today we are taxed so heavily that we only truly get the buying power of about half of every dollar we earn. You’re taxed on earning it, spending it, and hanging onto it. The list of taxes that American citizens are subjected to on a day-to-day basis has become unmanageable. Policy votes are happening in the dead of night after policy makers have had less than 24 hours to review the policy, leaving the American citizen completely in the dark about what new policies there are. Once again, we see heavy taxation without representation.
The tyrants, the power hungry, the unelected bodies around the world absolutely hate the freedom the American citizen is afforded. I’d argue that it’s mostly just an illusion of freedom, but that’s a topic for another time. They hate it so much that they are the boogeyman. They have infiltrated almost every office of our government and have worked very hard to select the proper individuals to push the levers and steer this country onto a path without freedom; a path to complete serfdom.
The American citizen is once again being treated like the colonists. We are under the control of a tyrannical regime
that wants the fruits of our labor, but will offer us nothing in return. We have been stripped of our freedoms and are required to ask for permission and pay a tax to our masters for the privilege of just living our lives.
I recently reached out to people on social media and asked them what Independence Day meant to them. I received a few responses to my query and they all shared a common thread… freedom and sacrifice.
“What Independence Day means for me is the celebration of freedom and our great nation. And all the great people that have sacrificed so much for this great country. Whether they are veterans or first responders. And the families of those veterans and first responders. Freedom isn’t free.” - Jason B.
“As a Veteran, to me it means I did my job as I should have, because I helped to preserve the freedoms that holiday represents, and the reason for it.” - Dewy S.
“My freedom means everything to me. Our vets don’t get what all they deserve. But yet we can pour our money into other countries while we are going broke. I like the idea that I can get up and ride if I want to. Do what I want as well as it’s not out of line to make everyone around mad. Strike that. I don’t care a lot about that anymore. All I can say is that if we don’t stand up against the corruption in our government to kill this country, your freedoms will be gone.” - Skunk
“Not only do we remember and honor those that paid the ultimate price for freedom for all Americans, it’s the celebration of our founding fathers. Without our founding fathers who knows where this country would be.” - Chris S.
Sadly, We the People have sacrificed so much that we have now sacrificed the very freedom that our founding fathers and colonists fought so hard to gain. In my opinion, we have let them all down with our complacency.
I know that I am not alone in this belief, but I honestly believe that we are on a collision course with the second American Revolution. When do we stand up and declare our independence from this new gaggle of tyrants?
- David McCoy - david@thunderroadsiowa.com - FaceBook.com/TRMIDave - FaceBook.com/TRMINSUR
Pete Leehey, Dan Matzdorff, and Jon “Ginger” Jansen are located in Iowa and Minnesota, but can help you with your legal needs anywhere in the Midwest. These guys are THE Biker Lawyers with an award-winning crew that is here to help you with your legal needs. They are not afraid to hop on and ride, or to stand up for you when you need them. You can reach them at www.thebikerlawyers.com or 877-209-9452
La Choza Los Laras
411 Walker Street
Woodbine, Iowa 51579
712-647-2020
Wednesday – Sunday 11 am til 9 pm
Not too far from our little town of Portsmouth is Woodbine, Iowa. A small town best know for it’s yearly Applefest, it also has some good places to stop for food and drink. One such place is La Choza Los Laras. We had been hearing about brunch offerings from the family-owned Mexican restaurant, so we decided to take the short drive over and try it out for ourselves.
We walked in and it was busy already. Brunch runs from 11 am to 2 pm on Sundays, and by the looks of the dining area, we had made a wise choice for our Sunday. There is a limited menu for brunch, consisting of Mexican or meat lover’s omelets, a butcher shop skillet, loaded or Mexican breakfast burritos, and New York steak and eggs. All brunch items are $10.99 and come with hashbrowns on the side (inside the burritos). They offer juice, milk, and sodas, as well as margaritas, mimosas, and Bloody Mary’s as well. I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t remember the last time I got a HUGE plate of delicious food for under $11.
Pico de Gallo on the side. The burrito was jam packed with ham, sausage, bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns; all cooked to perfection. The tortilla was warm and slightly browned on the outside and the Pico was a delicious fresh addition to the breakfast meats and potatoes. Vernon ordered the New York steak and eggs, and he was not disappointed. A deliciously seasoned and grilled steak was accompanied by three eggs over medium and a generous portion of crispy fried hashbrowns…two slices of wheat toast on the side. The steak was seasoned very well with a hint of cumin and lime, a deliciously unexpected flavor for a New York strip…one we may try at home as well. Veron had an iced tea, and I got a fresh raspberry margarita, which was a sweet addition to my brunch and very refreshing.
La Choza Los Laras offers daily specials as well as Happy Hour every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 2pm-5pm. During happy hour all margaritas are only $6! Happy hour also offers nachos, quesadillas, and taquito appetizers for $2 off regular menu price.
The regular menu includes classic Mexican dishes like enchiladas, burritos, and fajitas. There is also an expansive seafood section, some American favorites, as well as many specialty plates like Pollo Fundido and Tacos Al Carbon… any of which are sure to tempt your taste buds.
Our brunch visit was well worth the drive over to Woodbine, and I am sure we will return for additional visits. The staff as friendly, the food was delicious, and the prices were incredible. Get yourself over to La Choza Los Laras and be sure to tell them that Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you!
Melanie Schwarte
We were promptly seated and our waitress was quick to provide us with menus and take our drink order. I ordered the loaded breakfast burrito, and it arrived at the table piping hot with sour cream and
I u M
If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me know at Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. “What are these guys in the big suits doing?” A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked his son to translate it. He refused. The NASA PR people brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder’s message. Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. His translation of the old man’s message was: “Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land.”
Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each.
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her -- “Hello” “How are you! We’ve been waiting for you!” “Good to see you.” When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her. “Which word?”, the woman asked. “Love.” “The woman correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven. “About two years later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. “I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?” “Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. “I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. My wife and I traveled all around the world. “We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. “How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,” the woman told him. “Which word?”, her husband asked. “Czechoslovakia.”
A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a whiskey…and a cola.” The bartender says, “Why the big pause?” The bear replies, “I don’t know, I was born with them!”
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I can’t stop tripping.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.
In World War I there was trench warfare, and neither the Americans nor the Germans could get the upper hand. They were reaching a stalemate. One day, an American came up with a plan that would win them the war. This private explained his plan to his trench mates, and they figured, “Why not? It’s not like we have any better ideas.” The next day, an American soldier called out, “Hans!?” A German popped up and shouted back, “Ja?!” Boom, the German was shot dead. The next day the Americans shouted again, “Hans?!” “Ja?!” Shot dead. This process continued over the next couple of days. The Germans were losing large numbers, and were now finally catching on. The Germans had an emergency meeting. Th thought they could come back from the heavy losses using the same tactics as the Americans. Thus, a German asked, “What is a popular American name?” “John!” replied another. The next day, the Germans decided to execute their plan. A German shouted, “John!?” An American called back, “Is that you Hans?!” “Ja!” And that is how the Americans won WWI. Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? There are never any dental records.
I saw a girl crying, so I asked her “Where are your parents?” and she started crying even more. Man, I love working at the orphanage. s s y ke t d out, ,t up and d G ermaan n
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First, I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam, then I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies, “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?”
Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong. When you’ve had a disagreement, she will praise you! She will bear your children, and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will NEVER have a headache, and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.” Adam asked God, “What will a woman like this cost?” God replied, “An arm and a leg.” Then Adam asked, “What can I get for a rib?” Of course, the rest is history......
An aged farmer awoke in the middle of the night to use the restroom. He was on his way back to bed when he noticed the lights in his shed were turned on. A closer look revealed that men were loading his tools and farm machinery into their truck. He dashes to his phone and dials police. “I need the cops! Some guys are cleaning
out my shed!” “OK, sir, officers have been dispatched; they should arrive in about an hour.” “One hour? But by then, they’ll be long gone!” “I’m sorry, sir, but no officers are available in your area.” The farmer abruptly hangs up, waits 10 minutes, and then dials 911 again. “Hello there, it’s me again. Don’t bother sending the cops; I just shot the robbers.” He then hangs up. Three cop cars and a helicopter arrive less than ten minutes later, and the robbers are apprehended. The sergeant advances to the house and knocks on the door. In his dressing gown and holding a cup of tea, the farmer opens it. “What exactly is going on here?
You claimed to have shot the robbers!”
“Well, you said there were no officers in my neighborhood.”
How does Hitler tie his shoesies?
With little knotsies!
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling.
A blind guy walks into a store ... and starts swinging his seeing eye dog around his head. An employee comes over and nervously asks if he can help. The blind guy replies, “No thanks. I’m just looking around.”
What is 40 feet long and only has three teeth? The funnel cake line at the Arkansas state fair.
“would you like one of them?” “I’d like the black one,” the man said after a brief moment of thought. “No, no, get the brown one,” the man’s wife said. “Here’s your chicken,” the farmer said.
A Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Jehovah’s Witness were lost. They happen upon a farm and request to spend the night. “I only have room for two people, so one of you will have to stay in the barn,” the Farm Owner explains. The Hindu jumps in right away, insisting it’s no problem. However, he knocks on the front door a few minutes later. “I apologize, but there’s a cow in the barn, and cows are sacred to me.” “No problem,” the Rabbi says as he walks to the barn. Within a few minutes, he returns and knocks once more. “There’s also a pig in there, which goes against our beliefs.” “I’ll go then, friends,” the Jehovah’s Witness says as he walks to the barn. A few moments later, there is a knock at the door. It’s the cow and the pig.
What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole it’s often poked before?
A key.
For a time, no one said anything. Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats. Finally, the banker said, “Preacher, why did you ask us to come?” The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go.”
Two cannibals were eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, “Does this taste funny to you?”
How does Jesus make his coffee? Hebrews it.
A farmer was retiring and needed to get rid of his animals before selling his farm. So, he went door to door in his town, selling them. He gave a horse to the houses where the man is the boss. He gave a chicken to the homes where the woman is the boss. He gets to the end of the street and notices a couple gardening outside. “Who’s in charge around here?” he inquired. “I am,” the man asserted. “I have a black horse and a brown horse,” the farmer said,
A man is driving down a country road when he notices a sign that says, “$5 for talking dog, take next left.” The man decides to investigate, believing it to be a joke. So, the man turns left onto a farm, and a farmer emerges. Farmer: Have you heard anything about the dog? Man: Does the dog actually talk? Farmer: Absolutely, come here and I’ll show you. The man and farmer proceed to the garage, where a dog is resting on a dog bed. It notices them and approaches them. Farmer: Go ahead and ask him anything. Man: Oo, dog, tell me about yourself. To the man’s surprise, the dog begins to speak, clearly and with proper words, rather than the typical “arooo you” heard on the internet. Dog: Well, ever since I was a puppy, I’ve wanted to serve my country. So, as soon as I could, I enlisted as a sniffer dog with airport security. I was also very good at my job, earning a few promotions and turning some heads. Eventually, the US army hired me as a bomb-sniffing dog, and I helped prevent tragedies all over the country and around the world. After a while, I retired, met a nice girl, had a few puppies, and eventually came to this farm to spend my golden years. The man is taken aback. Man: Holy cow, farmer! You were correct! Why are you asking only $5 for this dog? Farmer: Because he lies! He’s never done any of those things!
There was once a missionary preaching in a small African tribe. The people there loved him, and every day more were converted. But one day, a white baby was born to one of the women in the tribe. The chief immediately sent for the missionary and demanded to know why he had broken the commandments he had so lovingly taught to his people. The missionary, having been a devout Christian his entire life, asked to see the child. Upon viewing the baby, it became clear that this baby was an albino. The missionary attempted to explain this to the chief, saying: “Chief, this child suffers from a condition of the skin which changed its color to white. As an example, look upon your flocks of sheep. All are white, except for one which is black.” The chief cuts him off, saying: “Ok, I won’t tell about the baby if you don’t tell about the sheep.”
Why Everyone Needs To Take An MSF Course
BY A. CAPOBIANCO
Knowledge is power!
For people that have always wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle, but have no idea on where to start, that is where a Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF) course comes in. Just like when we were teenagers taking Driver’s Ed, an MSF class shows you all the ins and outs of a motorcycle, how to properly mount and dismount your ride, which parts of the bike does what and how to use them, what to do in certain situations on the road, and much more. For many people, getting on a motorcycle can seem a bit intimidating. You are more exposed to the elements, there is a level of danger and risk involved every time you get on a bike, manual transmission could be a new concept for you, and the fear of falling is always on your mind. What is important about any motorcycle riding course is that all these questions are addressed in detail, and getting hands-on experience is all part of the learning process.
Remember how nervous you were when you got behind the wheel of a car for the first time, and now you›re so good that everyone else around you drives like an idiot? Same thing happens in a motorcycle safety course. You›ll start off very green and inexperienced, but you›ll learn and grow each time you hop on a bike. Pretty soon, once you›ve got enough practice, you›ll be such a talented rider that you won›t even have to think about it anymore. It can all be boiled down to muscle memory, cautious observation, and instinct.
It should also be noted that MSF classes are not just for beginners. There are also classes available to riders that do have sufficient experience on the road, but still want to refine their skills and break any bad habits. As riders, how we think we ride and how we actually ride are two different things. A part of us may think we›re like Trinity in The Matrix: Reloadedweaving and bobbing our way through traffic with a stoic look on our faces. Meanwhile, in reality, we’re overthrottling it in second gear, which is not as cool as we’d imagine. Thankfully there are classes that provide additional instruction for riders looking to improve upon the basics.
Lastly, there are advanced riding classes for those that really want to sharpen their skills to their finest points. As you may imagine, police officers in motorcycle units go through rigorous amounts of training to keep their riding abilities honed for whenever they are on duty. These advanced classes can help ordinary citizens reach that level of experience to the point where even the cockiest riders will be left in the dust.
Perfect Beginner Class For First-Timers
Like many of us, we had no inkling on how to ride, let alone start, a motorcycle. We just thought they looked cool, and we wanted that to be us someday. This is the perspective in which an MSF beginner class operates from. The instructors are aware that many of their students have never sat on a motorcycle before, so it is understandable if they feel a little anxious. But just like any other skill, the more you do something, the better and more confident you get while doing it. These classes are meant to cover the basics, like the parts of the bike, how to mount and dismount, when to enable and disable the kickstand, how to shift gears, use the clutch, apply the throttle, apply the brakes, come to emergency stop, and how to properly pick up your bike in the event you ever take a tumble.
For beginners, taking a class is a must because it also provides a safe and controlled environment for you to get used to the sensation of operating a motorcycle, and facing the fear and anxiety of riding with excitement. Also, depending on the state, those that complete and pass an MSF beginner’s class can forgo the riding test portion at the DMV, and use that certificate of completion to bring you one step closer to acquiring your motorcycle rider’s license! So use this time to celebrate a new exciting chapter in your life, because adventure awaits.
Go From Being a Good Rider to a Great Rider
For those that understand the basics, and already have some motorcycle experience under their belts, taking an intermediate MSF class is a very educational environment to help them polish their skills, as well as snuff out any bad habits they may not be aware of. Sometimes you may not be looking far enough down the road. Maybe you’ve got your heels on the foot pegs instead of the sole. Maybe you’re taking your turns too wide. Or perhaps you’re too cocky of a rider to even acknowledge having any bad habits in the first place. There are plenty of mistakes even the most experienced riders may not know they are doing until someone notices them. It would be like if you had a piece of broccoli in your teeth, you would appreciate it if someone told you about it. Otherwise, you would just proceed to look foolish. Additionally, by returning to class, these experienced riders can test out their new skills in a safe environment rather than learn the hard way out on the street.
Life happens, so some people find themselves going years without ever riding a motorcycle. So these intermediate classes are also good refreshers for those that have been out of the game for a while, and could use a quick jolt to their memory to help them pick up where they left off. Not only that, but exceed from that point to a new level they were not previously operating on.
Ride Like A True Pro
If you have seen the complex courses many police departments have their motorcycle units do drills on, you can understand the high standards that are required of motor officers to be able to control their bikes whenever they are on duty. Similar advanced riding classes are also available to regular, everyday citizens that are eager and motivated to sharpen their skills to a point where turning and cornering on a large bike like a Road King can be done with little to no effort. Do you feel that you are not executing your U-turns as tight as you would have hoped for? Could you afford to weave in-and-out of traffic cones a little better than how you currently are? Maybe you just want to be an overall better rider. These drills are designed for riders that have been on a motorcycle for some time, and feel prepared to take their abilities to an even higher level than before. Many of the lessons involved include braking and cornering skills that would come in useful on the street, as well as competitions that take place throughout the country.
At first glance, many of these tracks look intimidating and nearly impossible to complete without hitting cones or setting your motorcycle down. But, just like that lesson we learned when we first started, «practice makes perfect.» Just because you don›t feel confident enough to complete it now shouldn›t suggest you won›t be able to complete it later in the future. Don›t sell yourself short, because everyone has what it takes to be a great rider. A little confidence can go a long way.
Is There a Motorcycle Air Bag in Your Future?
By Dick Tremain, Route 65 HOG Chapter
An air bag for your motorcycle? Are you crazy? Where would you put it? In the middle of your motorcycle’s steering wheel? That’s STUPID!!!
Ahhh. It’s not stupid.
Actually, you’d wear it.
Really!?!?
I was introduced to the motorcycle air bag last fall in France. I went riding again in Corsica with a group of Harley riders from all over France. There were two couples in our group of 14 that wore air bag vests as a way to protect themselves in the event they went off road or crashed. Their air bags were designed to instantly inflate and protect the neck and body from trauma and road rash. One couple, Berioska and Laurent, used tethers to their motorcycle to inflate the air bags if they fell off. Evelyne and Christian had air bag sensors that would inflate their vests in an emergency.
It makes sense that the French would be ahead of us with motorcycle safety devices. The full body hard shell “turtle” protection outfits are common in mountain riding areas like Corsica. A major street off of the rotary around the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, is the Avenue de la Grande Armee’. This street, opposite Avenue des Champs-Elysees, is home to a number of motorcycle dealers including Harley Davidson, Indian and Ducati. There is also a corner store that sells nothing but motorcycle safety equipment from helmets to full “body armor.” The French are serious about safety.
Now Harley Davidson is into air bags. The Motor Company has recently introduced their Smart Vest. It is designed, as the ads say, to provide comfort and protection
to riders in dangerous situations. Or, as the French say, if you go gardening, (their term for going off road), the vest will help protect you from injury.
Is there an air bag in your motorcycling future? The answer is now…..maybe.
Route 65’s Ole Olson stands next to a display announcing Harley Davidson’s new Smart Vest, an air bag system designed to protect motorcyclists in the event of a crash.
Berioska Espina, and her friend Evelyne, demonstrate what their safety vests do to protect them in case of a crash. Evelyne’s vest senses a crash situation and will automatically inflate to protect its rider.
French rider
Berioska Espina displays the air bag vest she wears while riding. Her vest tethers to her motorcycle and will inflate to protect her in case of a crash.
Tuesday
Mom’s Maxwell (2nd & 4th Tuesday)
Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa Thunder Roads of Iowa Iowa Bike Nights Iowa Bike and Dinner Rides
This list is what we have found and what has been submitted. Before heading to any event, please check weather and make sure the event is not cancelled. Not responsible for misprints and typos. If you have any other events to list, please email vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com
Jun 21-22 Summer Event Big Barn HD Des Moines
Jun 22 Summer Kick Off Party Zylstra HD Ames
Jun 22 1st Annual Petty Ride Jesup
Jun 22 Running Over Lupus Ride Roland
Jun 22 Eric Hosette Memorial Ride Clinton
Jun 22 Central IA Veterans Fun Run Polk City
Jun 22 All Wheels Poker Run Danbury
Jun 22 Red Knights IA2 Summer Fun Run Anamosa
Jul 19-21 43rd Annual British Biker Cooperative Rally and Bike Show Blue River, WI
Jul 20 7th Annual Cruizin for a Cure Charity Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids
Jul 20 11th Annual Ride 4 Time With Friends of Mine Poker Run Baxter
Jul 20 Clean, Fast, & Loud Tour Pleasant Hill
Jul 20 D18 Hospice Ride Burlington
Jun 22 NW IA ALR Chapter 241 Poker Run LeMars
Jun 22 Thank You is Never Enough 1st Annual Ride Fairfield
Jun 22 Stuart American Legion Riders Poker Run Stuart
Jun 22 7th Annual Carson Rodeo Poker Run Carson
Jun 22-23 Harleys In The Heartland Poker Run Runnells
Jun 23 John Patrick “Harley” Memorial Ride Pacific Junction
Jun 23 2nd Annual Car, Tractor, Motorcycle Show Earling
Jun 23 Bikes & Brunch Pleasant Hill
Jun 23 Kyia’s Shitty Titty Ride Clear Lake
Jun 29 5th Annual Eagles Bug Run Creston
Jun 29 Scott’s Kicking Cancers Butt Ride Perry
Jun 29 Veterans Support Ride Anamosa
Jun 29 Rally for Trump Poker Run Runnells
Jun 29 Adair/Adams CO Disaster Relief Benefit Ride
Jun 29 Kevin Boker Poker Run Pacific Junction
Jun 29 Sheldon Eagle Riders Poker Run Sheldon
Jul 3-6 ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona
Jul 4-6 Iowa Hog Drags and Nostalgia Reunion Humboldt
Jul 5-7 Good Guys Heartland National Show Des Moines
Jul 6 17th Annual Freeman Ride Avoca
Jul 6 2nd Annual Logan Fire & Rescue Poker Run Logan
