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need to blatantly call bullshit when we I am generally a pretty positive ttype yppe ooff gguy. uy. uy see it no matter what color, creed, sex, I dig the ability to keep an upbeat eeaat to tone one n or political affiliation it may hold. I to my work, day in and day out,, bu bbutt am tired of trying to get along with damn, I am getting tired. I am ti ttired rreed ed everyone. I am tired of trying of continually trying to put a smile miile le to allow others to voice their on my face and keep working opinions on matters, only to despite what is going on all be squelched when I bring over this country that I up mine. I am going to love. I am tired on not just make sure that I and those calling a dipshit a dipshit around me are armed to to their face and making the teeth and are going to be able them pay the price for their own n to take care of business if things stupidity. I am tired of working g continue to get ugly. my ass off to see slackers with better stuff than I own. I am tired d So, I guess here it is. Here is my of trying to think that we may be able to get back together as a country, but slowly realizing line in the sand. I am going to bust my ass to take care of that my logic in that thought process is so overtly skewed myself and my family as long as I possibly can, and don’t give two shits about that it is simply not who that may offend, a possibility at all. I who may not take that believe that we have as a good thing, or who officially passed the cannot take a joke in point of no return and general about so much will no longer ever be is going on in the world. able to be UNITED. I Stand with me, or get have given up on that the hell out of my way. thought that maybe we God bless this great may all be able to live nation that we live in, in harmony once again and all of those that are in our great nation. NOT ok with the “new normal”. Let’s start to Maybe the time has gather with those of like come to draw the mind, and show strength proverbial line in the in numbers. Look at sand and raise our your history books, it fists in anger and say was a mere three percent enough is enough. that made a difference This response has to stand against tyranny worked for other and fight for freedom to people, other groups, begin with. other factions of this country. So many, I am also going to do my more than I can count best to put as many miles have stood in defiance on as possible this fine of all that is right and month of June. I seem to end up with a hectic schedule claimed they have been harmed, been the victims of ill will, have been treated poorly, and that society as a whole like many of you, but it seems to be getting ridiculous as I get older. I am vowing now to make sure I can put miles “owes” them. Maybe the hard-working people of Iowa on that I NEED to rack up just for my own piece of mind. and the rest of our United States of America need to quit I encourage all of you to do the same thing! Ride those allowing our rights to be trampled, our liberties to fly the damn things like we stole them! Ride safe, rack up some miles, and enjoy freedom while we can!
On the Cover
We were in Boone at the Sleeping Angles Fun Run coop, our freedoms to be diminished all for the “common on May 1st, and ran across one of the coolest little good” and all of the other bullshit arguments. Maybe we cats that I have seen in a long time. JD was running around with his binkie, pie eyed, totally intrigued, LOVING the two and three wheel machines departing in groups on the run. JD continually tried getting closer to the bikes, but with taller people in tow, they kept him at a safe distance. It was awesome to be able to see a little tyke with that kind of interest in two wheels. Hope it keeps growing!
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As always, thanks for reading, thanks for supporting us, thanks for shaking our hands when we see ya out and about, and thanks to the loyal supporters that keep this thing going month after month. We love what we do and dig that you are all behind us and a part of this thing we call Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa! Vernon Quote of the Month: “We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.” William Faulkner
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If you have been to a funeral or a memorial service in recent years, you know that people have come up with many different ideas of how to honor the life of loved ones who have passed. From taps being played at the funeral of a military veteran to flowers being handed to attendees to place on the grave, our unspoken message to the departed one is the same: We will remember you. We recently attended a Memorial Ride where the organizers had written names of the riders’ deceased loved ones on slips of paper which were then attached to helium balloons. After a short prayer, the entire group released all the balloons at once. The morning breeze was coming from the west, so most of the balloons headed east, straight towards the power lines over our heads. The crowd stood quietly, everyone watching their own balloon at first, hoping it would make it over the lines. Most made it above the lines with room to spare and were quickly borne off until they were just tiny specks diminishing into the distance, but some of the riders had multiple name slips tied onto their balloons, weighing the balloons down, and into the lines they went. It sounds silly, but I have to admit that we pretty much all stood and watched as the same wind that had driven the balloons into the power lines then flipped them back and forth until the tangled ends of their strings finally came loose and each balloon broke free. Satisfied with the outcome, we headed for our bikes.
the sin that we had committed – a debt that he did not owe. So now, we get an unfair death that takes Later, as we were riding along, I reflected on how my prayers us to heaven instead of to hell like we deserve. often seem like the balloons we had released. Some seem So since life is not to rise up quickly and easily, joined with the prayers of fair, I’m thankful that those around. But those prayers carrying heavy burdens death is not fair, either.” get snagged in the lines of life and are left to struggle alone in the wind. You know what I’m talking about: a loved Life is not fair: Bad things happen to good people. Bad one caught in a bad relationship; a good friend with a things happened to Jesus, but unlike us, he had the option critical illness; hearing the rumor that your job is about of getting out of the bad situation. However, he chose to to be “downsized”. Those are the kinds of situations that stay so that we would have the opportunity to choose an are out of our reach, like the balloons caught in the power eternal life in heaven with him that will be pain-free, worrylines, but we can’t seem to give them to the Lord, roll over, free, sin-free. Maybe focusing on being thankful for what and go to sleep. Nope, we lie there in bed, staring into the Christ has done for us is a really good way to say “We will dark as though there’s some miraculous answer out there remember you.” if we just look hard enough. Colossians 4:2 encourages us this way: “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful Blessings – Karla in it with thanksgiving.” From this verse, it sounds like our watchfulness in the middle of the night needs to be focused on thanksgiving to the Lord, not focused on wishing Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and away a bad situation. You might think that focusing on God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org thanksgiving is pretty naïve advice to someone who is experiencing grief, but let me tell you about last weekend. We were at a Bike Blessing that day and in case you had not noticed, this last year has been rough on everyone. I had just been talking with a friend who was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and was feeling overwhelmed with concern for her and her family. I moved on to talk to other friends, a couple who had recently lost a daughter, completely unexpectedly. I said something to the dad, Doug, about life being so unfair, and his response really stuck with me. “Yes, life is unfair,” he said. “But you know what? I’m really glad that death is unfair, too. Jesus lived a completely sinless life and then unfairly paid the debt for 6 - TRMI JUNE 2021
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Edwards Motorsports and RV’s The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments 1010 34th Avenue throughout Iowa that sponsor the Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 magazine. You can pick up your 712-366-8400 copy here every month. Let them fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa 1500 E Army Post Road Biker Friendly Business Listing and Des Moines, Iowa 50315 become a part of the network, 515-256-9062 please email Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Leather & Hawgs 121 1st Street Soldier, Iowa leather@wiatel.net (712) 884-2701 www.leatherandhawgs.com
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
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Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460 Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30 National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Food and Drink
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigos Bar & Restaurant on FB Bea’s Place 108 N Main St Baxter 641-227-2080 Check Us Out on Facebook Food, Live Music, Bike Nights Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
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Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00 Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12 Hawk Heaven Tavern 805 17th St SW Altoona, Iowa 50009 Happy Hour 4p-6p Every Day HawkHeavenTavern on Facebook Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper
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Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128 KC’s Tavern 120 N Main Street Bridgewater, Iowa 50837 Mon-Fri 4:30-Close, Sat-Sun 2-Close Find Us on FB 641-369-5010 Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar! Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165 Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015 Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports The Garage 621 K45 Whiting, Iowa 51063 (712)420-5895 Facebook The Garage The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens M-F 2-Close, Sat 9-Close, Sun 12-Close Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery 112 E Jefferson Street Prairie City, Iowa 50228 515-630-9639 Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery on FB Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Guns and Ammo JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmshooterssupply@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Hobbies & Collectibles Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com
Insurance & Financial
Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PMSandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin
Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook VFW Post 9662 Bar and Grill 1309 NE 66th Ave Des Moines 515 - 289 - 9914 and Facebook
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O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
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Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Photo and Art Halls Cast Stone 25211 Monarch Trail Bloomfield, Iowa 52537 641-777-8027 www.hallscaststone.com Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Shops & Fabricators Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768 Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278 Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
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Shops & Fabricators F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336 Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
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Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220 Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
Tires
SHOP EQUIPMENT
Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Shop Tools Outlet Powersport / Auto Lift Supplier Marshalltown, IA 50158 888-288-6657 www.shoptoolsoutlet.com
Trailers
To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
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Mechanics Illustrated Motorcycle Book 1951 14 - TRMI JUNE 2021
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Ally Mae Whitney Council Bluffs 2019 Harley Legal Pedal Power
Ami Belt Council Bluffs 2006 Harley-Davidson Sportster XL 883 L
Renee Ubben Webster City 2002 Honda Shadow Spirit 18 - TRMI JUNE 2021
We want you on our pages! If you are an Iowa Girl of Thunder, send us a quality image, your name, year and model of bike, and where you are from to: vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
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special of the day and get our drink orders. The menu offers multiple starters including their Super Totchos. Yes, loaded tater-tot nachos. Cheese balls, wings, tenders, onion rings, etc. I’d highly recommend their Fresh Chips. I’m always a fan of homemade chips, but The Dirty Dog has outdone themselves. You can be sure we’ll get another order of those the next time we visit.
The Dirty Dog American Bar & Grill 1016 W Bremer Ave #2931 Waverly, IA 50677 (319) 352-8819 Open: 11 AM – 2 AM Daily Heather and I were out on a short trip to pick up more junk that I don’t need in my ever growing collection of junk and ended up around Waverly about mid-afternoon. Lunch time had come and gone with both of us ignoring it and our bellies were letting us know they had been neglected.
The Dirty Dog’s menu is full of options to appease most any appetite; wraps, pizza, burgers, sandwiches, soups & salads, and even a kid’s menu. Heather decided on the special of chicken parmesan and a side of fries. I opted for the breaded cod sandwich with tater tots. We finished off our fresh chips just as our meals arrived, perfect timing! Heather’s chicken parmesan was a very generous portion of pasta sprinkled with shredded parmesan, a healthy scoop of marinara sauce, with a very thick and juicy breaded chicken breast resting on top. Not a processed, flattened chicken-like substance, a real chicken breast.
If I hadn’t been focused on my meal, I might have taken the time to sample the chicken parm, but I had plate full of tots and a massive cod sandwich to deal with. Unlike most places that serve tater tots, The Dirty Dog seems to have the A quick search of nearby dining opportunities gave us the time to heat ratios figured out. The tots were perfectly crispy usual fare, but we quickly dismissed everything we could and browned on the outside, yet fully cooked and hot on get in Mason City. There just isn’t any sense in stopping the inside. The size of the cod filet is quite impressive; you to eat at the “same old place”. If you’re out of town, you almost need two ciabatta buns. The breading was crisp and just have to find something new. Heather was reading menu offers a wonderful mix of seasonings that complement the choices of various places and we both agreed that The Dirty firm, yet flaky cod filet inside. Due to the size of the filet, Dog seemed to fit the bill for what we were craving. I’m going to have to request two slices of cheese next time; one just didn’t come close to covering it. And there WILL When we pulled into the parking be a next time. Heather and I both agree that lot of the Dirty Dog, the first we will be returning in the future. thing we noticed is the almost life-sized concrete motorcycle If you find yourself in the Waverly area, positioned in the grass right swing on into The Dirty Dog. Wet your in front of the building. The whistle, feed the grumble down below, and parking lot was pretty full, but make sure to tell them that Thunder Roads they offer overflow parking Magazine of Iowa sent you. directly west of the building, across the street. Since I was David McCoy pulling a small trailer behind the truck, I opted to park in the If you have a WRTE location for us to college parking lot on the north visit, please let me know at Melanie@ side of the building, which thunderroadsiowa.com was almost empty on a Sunday afternoon. When we entered the building, they were probably about at half capacity and the staff were all attending to customers, but the gal behind the bar immediately greeted us and let us know to sit wherever we’d like. We chose a corner booth where we could get a good view of the interior. The fully stocked bar is located almost in the middle of the room, several high-top tables are positioned throughout, and a row of booths line the east wall with a couple more on the north wall. Our server didn’t even let us even plant our butts in the seat before she was at the end of the table with glasses of water and our menus. She was quick to inform us of the 22 - TRMI JUNE 2021
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School District and a good friend to this author.
Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa is pleased to introduce Mr. Ryan Fincel of Waukee. Ryan is a middle school teacher in the Waukee Community
Enlisting in the United States Army in 1996, Ryan spent 5 years defending our great nation. Attaining the rank of E-5 and an MOS of 95B – Military Police Officer, Sergeant Fincel served in Fort Hood, Texas; Fort McClellan, Alabama; USARSO HQ Florida and Fort Clayton Panama, South America. As a tactical SRT Officer, he served as the point man on entry teams. Other job duties included patrol officer and supervisor, an instructor, a personal security officer and a member of the air assault team. To this day, Ryan has a fear of heights derived from a fatal hookup while repelling out of a helicopter, which inverted his hook up, dropped him one hundred feet upside down. (He recovered, sliding down the rope with his grip and a PRAYER!)
the only bikes there were mopeds and here is this 19-year-old American riding around on a Suzuki 1200. It may not have been a Harley Davidson, but all the Panamanians looked at it like it was. Sounds like paradise to me! Ryan’s prized possession is his 1976 Shovelhead passed down from his father to his step-mother to his brother and then on to Ryan. After years and years of wrenching on that amazing bike, Ryan wised up and bought a newer Street Glide and recently has upgraded to “Black Betty”, his beautiful 2019 Harley Davidson Road Glide. Ryan states that he has loved every bike he’s owned and each one told a different story about his life and the times he was going through. “Like the scars on my body tell the sacrifices I’ve made for this country, my bikes tell the story of my life. If those bikes could talk, they’d tell about freedom rallies, small rallies, benefit rides, and simply amazing, fun times.” Mr. Fincel has enjoyed teaching for more than 10 years now and has definitely made a huge impact on the youth in Iowa. In fact, I am hoping my son gets him for math for the next 3 years! Admittedly, the 2020 – 2021 school year will go down as one of the hardest years in his history, but just as he did in the Army, Ryan adjusted and made it work. That’s who he is, that’s what he does. I think we are all hoping that 2021 – 2022 sees a return to normal and we can all get past the fear associated with Covid.
Residing in Waukee with his amazing wife Tina, Ryan is the father of two beautiful daughters: Heather and Harley and a wonderful step-son Luke. He takes pride in passing down his While serving in Venezuela, Ryan and his team worked with love of motorcycles to them. In fact, Heather was recently the Venezuelan Special Forces teams. One evening, the US seen working on her clutch skills on a Suzuki LTZ400 and Army guys were challenged by the Venezuelans top shooters. can often be found frolicking around town on her moped! They set up a tactical range with long rifles, shotguns, UZI’s Ryan has a heart full of love for his family, his English and 9 mm. Ryan won the competition and received a medal bulldogs, his motorcycles and even a good whiskey now from the SF’s top guy, who was none too happy about and then. Summer finds him on his bike or in a canoe, fall awarding it to an American, but it did provide Ryan with a signals the start of deer season and with spring comes turkey good laugh. hunting! Sergeant Fincel has been riding motorcycles his entire life, starting with a motocross bike at the age of 5. To this day, he remembers his dad picking him up from school on his old panhead. He started off on a Honda 80, upgraded to a Honda 250 as a work bike and then onto a Suzuki Intruder 1200. In fact, he was able to take the Intruder to Panama while stationed right off the Panama Canal. As a 3rd world country,
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Sergeant Fincel is proof there is nothing greater than the freedom of a motorcycle and the beauty of an open road. From all of us at TRMI, Mr. Fincel, thank you for your service and continue to be “Always Ready, Always There!” Shane OMalley
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A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, “I want to be gorgeous.” God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This went on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man’s turn came, he laughed and said, “I wish they were all ugly again.” There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don’t, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, “I’ll get off.” The blondes, all moved by the brunette’s speech, start clapping. Problem solved. On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’” and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn’t work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.” “Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?” St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. “What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple. “OH, COME ON!,” St. Peter shouted, “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?” Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” in ing, ng, g,”” th thee bo boyy says. “There was a bug in your soup,, but now it’s gone.” In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” shee asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more re years to live.” With 30 years to look ok forward to, she decides to make the he best of it. So, since she’s in the hospital, ita t l, she gets breast implants, liposuction, tio ion, n, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and co coll collagen llag ll agen ag en n injections in her lips. She looks great!! Th Thee d day ayy she’s discharged, she exits the hospital tal w with ith it h a swagger, crosses the street, and iss immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more yearss to live,” she complains. “That’s true,” ,” says says God. “So what happened?” she asks. God s. G od shrugs, “I didn’t recognize you.” What do you call stoned Mexicans? Baked beans. Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.” Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.” It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.” “I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.” Why don’t blondes like to make Kool-Aid? They can’t fit 2 quarts of water in that tiny little packet. A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The mourner took a moment to collect himself and replied, “My wife’s first husband.”
On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple has A 70-year-old man asked his wife, “Do you feel sad when an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of you see me running after young girls?” His wife replied, the groom’s left foot. Unable to control her grief, the bride “No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars that they can’t drive.” calls her mother from the hospital. “Mother,” she sobs, “my husband has only one foot.” The mother, trying to console her daughter, says, “That’s alright dear, your father has only A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s six inches.” disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what 28 - TRMI JUNE 2021
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A lady sitting in the dentist chair told the dentist, “I would rather go through the pain of child birth than have you drill in my mouth.” The dentist replied, “Well, you had better make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.” A black guy has three wishes. He wishes to be white, uptight, and out of sight. Poof, he’s a tampon. A young boy came home from school and told his mother, “I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy.” The mother asked, “What did you do?” The boy replied, “I hit him with my purse!” A kid walks up to his mom and asks, “Mom, can I go bungee jumping?” The mom says “No, you were born from broken rubber and I don’t want you to go out the same way!” There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ‘’Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!’’ Herman says, ‘’I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!’’ Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising. He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing, and he offers to make a television ad for Wilson’s Nails. “Give me a week,” says the friend, “and I’ll be back with a tape.” A week goes by and the marketing executive comes to see Wilson. He puts a cassette in the video and presses play. A Roman soldier is busy nailing Jesus to the cross. He turns to face the camera and says with a grin, “Use Wilson’s Nails, they’ll hold anything.” Wilson goes mad, shouting, “What is the matter with you? They’ll never show that on television. Give it another try, but no more Romans crucifying Jesus!” Another week goes by and the marketing man comes back to see Wilson with another tape. He puts it in the machine and hits play. This time the camera pans out from a Roman standing with his arms folded to show Jesus on the cross. The Roman looks up at him and says, “Wilson’s Nails, they’ll hold anything.” Wilson is beside himself. “You don’t understand. I don’t want anything with Jesus on the cross! Now listen, I’ll give you one last chance. Come back in a week with an advertisement that I can broadcast.” A week passes and Wilson waits impatiently. The marketing executive arrives and puts on the new video. A naked man with long hair, gasping for breath, is running across a field. About a dozen Roman soldiers come over the hill, hot on his trail. One of them turns to the camera and says, “If only we had used Wilson’s Nails!” A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!” Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, “I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.’’ Doctor Fitzpatrick says, “I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.’’ Doctor Ahn says, “I prefer lawyers. They’re gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.’’
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Just take the Old records off the shelf, I wanna sit and listen to them by myself. Oh yes, the salient words of Bob Seger, considered (correctly) to be one of the greatest male voices in rock and roll let alone a prolific songwriter. Look, if you have a sound system on your bike and you have never listened to Roll Me Away have you ever even ridden a bike? I mean, sure, you may have felt like you’ve been riding, but have you EVER FELT the ride? If you know, you know. This isn’t about Mr. Seger so much as a discussion about music I have had recently with a few people, seasoned people that have opinions I respect. World level music people that deal with legit rock stars, casual consumers of music, family members, and more and the reason why turned out to be just raw, naked curiosity led me down a different idea or thought process than I thought was going to happen.
have been to in my life. Legit, 100’s and 100’s. Started as a passion when I was old enough to go solo, the passion of my 12-13 music loving stuff gave me chills. Thankfully I have never lost that chill feeling the goosebumps that come with the show getting underway, a band tearing up your favorite song. being in the same air of your favorite artist. Doesn’t matter if it’s Garth, Def Leppard, Elton John, Taylor Swift or pick one, if you have ever been at a show of an artist that moves you, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Music is personal that way and I love it. Of all the shows, all the bands, artists and venues, if you ever ask me what was the best show I was ever lucky enough to see, its Bob Seger, I can’t say it’s Bob by a long shot because Billy Joel is a freaking bad ass performer on stage, Jimmy Buffet the first time on a hot summer night was a performer at the peak of his game that has 20,000 Parrotheads under his spell and I could go on. I love Seger, but hate that damn song…lol.
I have playlists for my bike, for my boat, for chilling on a Sunday morning with Bloody Marys, for freaking mowing, there are all what works for me, personally. I know my wife has her own playlists, for I don’t know, make up in the morning, yoga, weird shit that I don’t understand but it’s her own personal playlist. I made the huge mistake of letting my 16-yearNow for a bit of truth. old Bluetooth into my truck as we were running around and her Old Time Rock and Roll. personal playlist actually scared the shit out of me. Death gangster rap fans would blush I freaking LOATHE that song. I mean, I flat out hate, hate, hate, hate that song and if I never hear it again or be at the crap this kid listens to! It was a pure WTF moment. And she knew all the words to whatever in the hell that forced to play it on my radio show (plug time 101.9 The Keg Monday-Friday 10-1p and you can download the app, was coming out of my Rockford Fosgate speakers. I have no words. it’s super clean audio and plus, you can hear my voice, which is what you really want right? Okay forget that part Now, my kids and I do have some common artists and and enjoy the tunes) I have nothing against Hollywood songs we can listen to together. Not many, but there are star Tom Cruise, in his undies with a candlestick, sliding some. My youngest daughter and my wife listen to lots of across the floor jamming out. I mean, who hasn’t been there in one form or another. The right song, the right riff the same songs, mostly Bro country which is actually just as bad as death gangster rap! What in the hell would Hank can make us get up and shake our ass. Music moves us. Nobody ever says “I hate music.” You might hate TYPES and Waylon have thought of that genre! But again, that is of music, certain songs or genres of music, but not music their taste, not mine. as a whole, that is just silly. I don’t even mind the movie Risky Business. It’s cute, I haven’t seen it for 20 years so I feel that music, while is easier than ever to access and consume, has become more disposable than in the past and I don’t know if it holds up over time, but it’s also not on my bucket list of things I need to fire up my search engine here is why, at least an observation on my behalf. and see if it’s a Netflix or HBO Max flick for the month. I have nothing against Mr. Cruise either. Just doesn’t move It doesn’t matter if you bought LP’s, 45 RPM discs, my entertainment needle to export some effort to enjoy his Compact discs, 8 tracks or cassettes, in the past you had entertainment offering, my point is I should point out that I to make an effort and a financial investment in procuring your music. Be it a new band or song, a favorite with a hate the damn song. new release, if you wanted it, you spent hard earned cash to get it, get it home and check it out. Then also, if the I LOVE Seger. I really have no idea how many concerts I record sucks, you were stuck with it. You owned that bitch, 30 - TRMI JUNE 2021
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no money back baby, and you had to hope it was good because for the most part, record stores wouldn’t let you check out the songs. That slowly changed, but back in the day, you hoped the record was as good as the art work on the album cover. It was at times we let it slide because we spent money on it and dammit, we were going to get our return on investment, shitty songs be damned! Now we don’t have to worry about it while we stream, if we hit on a tune we don’t like, thumbs down on the app, it’s gone and we move on. We do have more access to a bigger variety of music than ever before, my tastes have expanded over the years because of it, but at times I wonder if I appreciate music less because I don’t have a financial investment in the product, other than the 8 bucks a month or whatever it is for the commercial free streaming service. So, instead of a mix tape, we now crank out playlists, swing a leg over your bike, fire up what moves you and feel the ride on yet another level and while I am cranking up a pile of Seger songs, you can bet cash money I won’t be adding any Old Time Rock and Roll! (When he played that in concert, I went and got more beer.) Todd “Crash” Davis Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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Saturday Wednesday 2nd Ave Bike Night Des Moines (2nd Wed May-Sep) Bea’s Place Baxter Cruise Night Britt (3rd Wed Jul-Sep) The OP Clear Lake Supper Rides Harley-Davidson of Carroll (,6-16, 7-21) Dinner Rides Zylstra Harley-Davidson Ames
Thursday Edwards Bikes on the Hundred Block Council Bluffs (3rd Thursday) Roar Into Harlan (3rd Thursdays) Stumpy’s Bar & Grill Duncombe Wild Hogs Saloon & Eatery Walford (3rd Thursday) Metro HD Cedar Rapids (2nd Thursday May-Sep) Harley-Davidson of Carroll (6-10, 7-8) East of Omaha Bike Night Griswold (1st Thurs May-Aug)
Viking Customs Bike Night Atlantic (Last Sat Apr-Sep) Happenings Bar Steamboat Rock (3rd Saturday May-Sep)
Sunday Just 1 More Jamaica (Starting in May) Road Rage Fun Run at The Exchange Avoca (4th Sunday May-Sep) The Tama Pump (Sunday June-September) St Charles Bike Night The Talk Shop Lounge St Charles (2nd Sunday except Aug) This list is what we have found and what has been submitted. Before heading to any event, please check weather and make sure the event is not cancelled. Not responsible for misprints and typos. If you have any other events to list, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Friday Centerville Bike Nights (4th Friday May-Aug) R Place Pub & Pizza Kelley (2nd Friday May-Sep) Friday Night Bikes Prairie City Bike Night (3rd Friday Apr-Sep) Bondurant Bike Night at the Rails (4th Friday Apr-Sep) Hawk Heaven Tavern Altoona (1st Friday May-Aug) Pella Bike Night (2nd Friday May-Sep) American Legion Post 232 Polk City (2nd Fri May-Sep) Bloodline Irish Pub Greenfield (Last Friday) Thunder Nites Newton (2nd Friday Jul-Sep) Mean Machine Grub Run Elkhart (1st Friday)
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2021 May 21-22 May 22 May 22 May 22 May 23 May 27-30 May 28-31 May 29 May 29 May 30 Jun 5 Jun 5 Jun 5 Jun 5 Jun 6 Jun 11-12 Jun 12 Jun 12 Jun 12 Jun 12 Jun 18-20 Jun 19 Jun 19 Jun 19 Jun 19 Jun 19 Jun 26 Jun 26 Jun 26 Jun 26 Jun 26 Jun 26 Jun 26 Jun 26 Jul 1-3 Jul 2-3 Jul 3 Jul 8 Jul 9-10 Jul 10 Jul 10 Jul 10 Jul 10 Jul 15-17 Jul 16-18 Jul 17 Jul 17 Jul 17
Jul 23-25 Demo Days Big Barn Harley-Davidson Des Moines Paul Teutul SR Special Appearance Loess Hills HD Pacific Junction Blessing of the Bikes HD of Carroll Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola Bike Blessing Northwest Christian Church Council Bluffs Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville Veterans Memorial Day Run Midway Tavern Soldier Running Over Covid Motorcycle Fun Run, Bike Show, Blessing Clear Lake Sexual Trauma ride for Hero Metro HD Cedar Rapids Thunder on the Missouri 7 Honor Ride to Vietnam Memorial Wall American Legion Sergeant Bluff Road Rage Bike Works Biker Bash Celebrating 5 Years Avoca Veterans Benefit Ride Shellsburg American Legion Patti’s Riders 4 Thrivers Poker Run Council Bluffs Ride for Darcy Metro HD Cedar Rapids Motorcycle Hill Climb Anamosa 3rd Annual Harley & Hot Rod Summer Celebration Big Barn HD Des Moines Poker Ride for the Sons of AMVETS Post 41 Rockwell City Roar Into Harlan Fun Run Gooznann’s Westside Bar Harlan Steve Martin Ride for a Cure Metro HD Cedar Rapids Chrome at The River Elkhorn, NE Rumble in the Sand June Conesville 7th Annual Children’s Cancer Unit Poker Run Council Bluffs ALR Blackjack Run Council Bluffs Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola Hometown Heroes Memorial Ride Rockwell City Hero Suicide Awareness Metro HD Cedar Rapids Chasin’ Tails 9th Annual Motorcycle Fun Run Cambridge Vintage Motorcycle Swap Meet National Motorcycle Museum Anamosa 5th Annual Ride to Fight Suicide Colona, IL Sarak Mok Memorial Ride Des Moines Chains Interrupted Metro HD Cedar Rapids ALR Riders Post 111 Annual Ride Newton 12th Annual Legion Riders, Post 737 Christmas Toy Run Waukee Ride for Bombshells American Legion Post 76 Marengo ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona Iowa Hog Drags and Nostalgia Reunion Humboldt The Road Not Taken Metro HD Cedar Rapids Bikes, Hot Rods, Kids Night Festival Fun HD of Carroll 8th Annual Combat Veterans Chapter 39-3 APR Benefit Ride/ Cruise Elkport 14th Annual Freeman Ride Avoca Scavenger Fun Ride Vic’s Main Tap Audubon 15th Annual Angel Ride to Save the TaTas Fort Dodge PGI Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 2021 River City Motorcycle Challenge LHHD Pacific Junction British Biker Cooperative 40th Rally & Bike Show Blue River, WI 8th Annual Ride 4 Time Annual Poker Run Baxter Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola AMVETS Riders Post 49 Spring Poker Run Cedar Falls
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Jul 23-25 Jul 24 Jul 24 Aug 7 Aug 14 Aug 14 Aug 20-22 Aug 20-22 Aug 21 Aug 21 Aug 21 Aug 21 Aug 28 Aug 28 Aug 28 Aug 28 Aug 28 Sep 2-4 Sep 2-5 Sep 4 Sep 4 Sep 3-6 Sep 11 Sep 11 Sep 12 Sep 17-19 Sep 18 Sep 18 Sep 19 Sep 25 Oct 7-10 Oct 15-17
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Heartland Rally by the Christian Motorcyclists Association Ft. Dodge 36th Annual NCOM Convention Des Moines 3rd Annual Pine Lake Festival Motorcycle and Vendor Show Steamboat Rock Solidarity Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids CVMA Patriot Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 3rd Annual Cancer Sucks Car, Truck, & Bike Show Council Bluffs LT Ride for Babies Metro HD Cedar Rapids Rumble in the Sand August Conesville 17th Annual Iowa Heartland Tikers BTW Trike-In Kellogg Kyle’s Mile 7.Suicide Awareness/ Prevention Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Movie Day Featuring “Easy Rider” at Harlan Theater sponsored by Roar Into Harlan VFW Post 9662 Poker Run Des Moines Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola ALR Run Council Bluffs 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness Association 6th Year Poker Run Council Bluffs Cruising for a Cure (Cystic Fibrosis) Metro HD Cedar Rapids Kayla Jones Memorial Scholarship Ride Fort Dodge 6th Annual Chrome for Kids Raffle & Ride Cedar Rapids Antique Motorcycle Swap Meet Davenport Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville Heid Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Hot Rods & Hot Bikes Bike, Car, Truck Show LHHD Pacific Junction 23rd Annual Midway Tavern Labor Day Rally & Soldier Firefighter Fundraiser Soldier Mean Machine “Smalltown Throwdown” Burnouts & Stereo Comp Elkhart Miles for Smiles Poker Run Sioux City Motorcycle Hill Climb Anamosa Rumble in the Sand September Conesville 9th Annual BOCA Ride Cedar Rapids Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola Concours de Cornfield Earlham 2nd Annual Suicide Awareness Run Decatur, NE Swap Meet/Flea Market Autumn Conesville Cash in the Corn Drags & Halloweenie Party Conesville
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