the Cover
Tanya graces the cover of this ninth issue this year with Matt’s 2014 Limited. The location seemed to be the perfect spot at an abondoned grain elevator with no prying eyes. Worked out well for the images that Tanya was more than happy to dress for!
enough, so I always look forward to my September high mileage day. Will just have to see where the ride this year takes me.
As the 2023 riding season is starting to wind down, the event listing is starting to get a little bit slim. Many of the events of this riding season are in the rear view mirror and only memories at this point. We need your help though to start to populate the Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa 2024 events listing. We have a few on this list for next year, but we know many people plan things way ahead in this day and age. If you are hosting, or know of an event for 2024, please email the event date, name of event, and starting location town to Vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com. Then I can get it added to the printed list in the magazine every month, as well as posting on the Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa Facebook Page the first of every week. We appreciate the input from everyone all across the state!
If you are reading this Letter from the Editor, thank you from the bottom of my heart. We have worked hard over the years to be good people, publish a good magazine, and be a source of information for people in the motorcycle industry in Iowa. I thank you for reading. I thank you for supporting us. I thank you for sponsoring the magazine. I thank you for being a part of our world that will live on forever even long after we are gone. We have no plans of going anywhere in the foreseeable future, but wanted to pass on a note of gratitude for those that have always been in our corner helping build this thing. TRMI Forever! Thanks again!
Vernon Schwarte
Proud Editor/Owner Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa
Owner Thunder Gun and Thunder Guns West IMDA Board Member
MRF
Assistant State Rep COC Liaison
NCOIR
State of Iowa Representative
vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Quote of the Month: “When Americans lend a hand to one another, nothing is impossible. We’re not about what happened on 9/11. We’re about what happened on 9/12.”
Jeff Parness
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of f thhe e eaar r on b mb m er is e m moontth h liittttle le urere, ,
fastter. r ongng,
O n t h e C o v e r On
We had the pleasure to ride to Anamosa the other day and get one last visit in to the National Motorcycle Museum before its upcoming closing and auction after Labor Day. We hadn’t visited it in a while and time was quickly running out. I guess I kind of took it for granted that it would always be there. Unfortunately, some of the displays were already gone and the price of admission had been jacked up since our last visit but it was still a worthwhile trip to see things that will not be on display again, or at least not so accessible to us. It was a time to relive and appreciate the past. John Parham had a huge influence on us all in the motorcycling world, not just on those of us who were local. It’s sad like so many things in life, to see this end of an era. Like we’ve always told the kids, “Enjoy what you have while you have it because in this life things will change.”
I know that by the time this edition of the magazine hits the street, Sturgis 2023 will be in the bag and the season will be quickly winding down. But for us at this moment, the craziness, preparations and anticipation are in full swing. Lists of items to do and things to accomplish grow like political phone calls before an election. I finally came to the realization after several people asked how things were going that I spend and waste more time distracted and chasing things that are broken than I do checking items off the to-do list. One buddy suggested that maybe we needed gremlin bells attached to the cars, lawnmowers, appliances etc... on and on.
It got me thinking about how that’s the way we deal with many things, how superstitious we are and the way we try to manipulate and cope with the crazy culture that we live in. King Solomon said many years ago that there was nothing new under the sun. I don’t think he was referring to computers, cars or techno junk but man’s desires, attempts and struggles to fill that God-sized hole in our hearts; how we look to things and make up things to deal with every day life. We were created for fellowship with God and a desire for Him but when we turn from him there is always something there waiting to rush in and try to fill the vacuum. We look to things and even make up things that become “little gods” that vie for dominance in our lives, just as Lucifer thought he would take matters into his own hands and tried ascend to prominence.
America’s turning from God made room for all the other evil to come in, which fights tooth and nail for preeminence in our world. In the 60’s we saw the removal of prayer from the schools, the sexual revolution and then the removal of God from the public square or society as a whole. Since then, it has been an insidious slide into a culture of irrational craziness as anything goes and nothing is off limits; the fences are down and the asylum inmates are in charge. Satan tries to drive God out and we end up with progressive spiritual amnesia, forgetting and then rewriting the history of our “one nation under God” foundation. Removing the Ten Commandments lets everyone make up their own truths that then come rushing in to fill that hole. When that happens, everything can become a god. Wokeness, political correctness, transgenderism, climate religion, sacrificing our children (which is what abortion is) - you get the picture. It’s all a spiritual attack, an attack on the family and our Christian heritage which, when not put in check, sets all those things in motion. Jonathan Cahn, a Messianic Jew and rabbi, wrote about this slide from Biblical values and
the warnings about what happens to a society who turns their backs on God and the things that will return and try then to possess that society. Look at Russia and Germany and what happened when they abandoned their Christianity. Chaos, death and unimaginable destruction. It’s interesting how the children always play such a huge part. Evil is always after them to either change or destroy them.
The good news is that we are not without hope. In fact, “gospel” means good news. The coming of the gospel to any area has stopped child sacrifices throughout history and when the gospel was embraced, evil was cast out. Scripture says not to let anyone lead you astray but to test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. Isaiah 45:5 says, “I am the Lord, and there is no other, besides me there is no God.” The answer has always been the same for each generation and culture: repentance, turning to God and to the name of Jesus which heals and restores - not gremlin bells, politicians or any other cheap substitute.
P.S. If you have the opportunity to go see the movie Jesus Revolution, it’s very worthwhile. Any of us that lived through the 60’s will remember the rise of the countercounter culture and the hippies coming to Jesus.
Blessings, Mark
Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org
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The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories
Crispy’s Biker Apparel
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Find Us On Facebook
Dirty Biker Design
122 S. John Wayne Drive Winterset, Iowa 50273
www.DirtyBikerDesign.com
515-444-9050
Dealers
Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street
Marne, Iowa 51552
712-781-2351
www.baxtercycle.com
Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313
515-265-4444
www.bigbarnhd.net
Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501
712-366-8400
fullthrottleia.com
Harley-Davidson of Carroll 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610
www.carrollcycle.com
Harley-Davidson of Mason City
706 South Federal Avenue
Mason City, IA 50401 641-423-6007
Harleyofmasoncity.com
Heartland Harley-Davidson
117 S Roosevelt Ave Burlington, IA 52601 319-754-1100
www.heartlandhd.com
Indian Motorcycle of Mason City
Mason City Powersports
12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181
Masoncitypowersportsinc.com
Metro Harley-Davidson
2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496
www.metro-motorsports.com
Route 65 Harley-Davidson
1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125
515.962.2160
www.route65hd.net
Storm Lake Honda
3040 Expansion Blvd
Storm Lake, Iowa 50588
StormLakeHonda.com
712-732-2460
Entertainment
Book Em Dano’s
33 S Main Street
Denison, Iowa 51442
712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2
Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop
810 Jeppeson Road
West Okoboji, Iowa 51351
712-332-8029
Food and Drink (Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
Ambro’s Roadhouse
917 Guthrie St De Soto, Iowa 50069 515-468-2236
Great Food!
Ambro’s Roadhouse on Facebook
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353
Open to the Public 7 Days a Week
Newtonamericanlegion111.org
Barrel Smoke BBQ & Catering 109 N Main Street Templeton, Iowa 51463
Tues – Sat Open at 4 PM
Barrel Smoke BBQ on Facebook
Bud’s Bar & Grill 114 Oak St Morehead, IA 712-886-5359
GOOD FOOD
7 Days a Week 11-Close
Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849
Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River
1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600
www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com
Chili Dawg’s Foods of Fire 1940 Blair Ridge Road Blair, NE 68008
www.chilidawgs.com
Retail/Online Spice and Seasoning Store
Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087
Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings
Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street
Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020
Open Daily at 12:00
Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255
Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google
Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259
Goozman’s Westside on Facebook
Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321
Closed Mon-Tues, 4-Midnite Wed-Thur-Fri, 10-Midnight Sat, 11-Midnight Sunday
Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
Jake’s Station 107 West HWY 59 Hancock, Iowa 51536 712-741-BEER
Like Our Page Jakes Station on Facebook
J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095
Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM
Home of the Willie Whopper
Johnie’s Tap 112 NE 2nd Street Stuart, Iowa 50250 515-523-1146
Find Us on Facebook
Just 1 More 515-570-4206
641-757-0159
309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
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Level B – Bar & Grill
805 6th Street
Manning, Iowa 51455
712-655-9200
Level B on Facebook
McCanns Tap NE 14th & 54th Des Moines, Iowa 50313
Bike Parking
M-F 2:00-2 S-S 11:00-Close
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537
712-755-2258
Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa
712-884-2230
www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801
641-782-2165
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555
712-642-9015
Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332
319-436-7100
Find Us On Facebook!
Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557
515-359-9998
Email:riversidetap@gmail.com
Shootout Saloon
3571 310th St Dexter
1 Mile West of Bonnie & Clyde Shootout 712-249-0041
Secluded Bar in the Woods
Sidetracked
206 West Union Street
Creston, Iowa 50801
641-782-8534
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill
423 Main Street
Duncombe, Iowa 50532
515-543-4222
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
The Dog House 402 Main Street Colo, Iowa 50056-7720
Open 1st and 3rd Saturdays 641-485-8425
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609
Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports
The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023
515-964-9484
yankeeclipperbar.com
VFW Post 9662 Bar and Grill
1309 NE 66th Ave Des Moines
515 - 289 - 9914 and Facebook
Vic’s Main Tap
304 Broadway
Audubon, Iowa 50025
712-563-2122
Opens M-F 2-Close, Sat 9-Close, Sun 2-Close
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation
1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Guns and Ammo
Thunder Guns West 1101 Chatburn Ave STE 103 Harlan, Iowa 51537
712-235-2632
Find us on Facebook
Hobbies & Collectibles
Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook
Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade
641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com www.treasureislanddiecast.com
Insurance & Financial
O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930
State Farm
Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724
Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
Legal
Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers
800.800.5678
Hupy.com
TheBikerLawyers.com
The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Photo and Art
Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715
www.natanic.com
Shops & Fabricators
BS & Bikes 300 E 17th St S Suite 700 Newton, IA 50208 641-521-8448
Find us on Facebook
Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768
Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair
S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 307 E 5th StreetWashington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave
Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651
www.fandjracing.com
Mean Machine Cycles
Elkhart, Iowa 50073
Custom & Full-Service HD Repair
Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat by appt only 515-367-7336
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Shops & Fabricators CONT
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579
712-647-2818
Open Tues-Fri 9-6, Sat 8-12
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111
Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
Steffens Cycle and Detailing 1311 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-250-8493
steffenscycle@gmail.com
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172
Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
Tires
Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223
Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Trailers
Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell
Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674
www.lacaeysetrailers.com
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Thunder Roads
on Facebook
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Mi Taquito Tex-Mex
100 W Washington Street Exira, Iowa
(712) 268-7222
Hours of operation
Monday Closed
Tuesday – Thursday 11 AM–9 PM
Friday – Saturday 11 AM–10 PM
Sunday – 11 AM–8 PM
On a beautiful Saturday afternoon while riding on a local poker run, we decided to jump ahead of the group and find a place to eat and hopefully snag some good shots for the magazine when riders came in for the stop in Exira. On the corner of West Washington Street sits an inviting restaurant with both indoor and outdoor seating that we had been wanting to try for some time. We stepped inside out of the hot July sun, and were immediately greeted by a host and taken to our seats. Once seated, our waitress brought fresh tortilla chips and salsa to the table and took our drink orders.
The chips and salsa were delicious. Crisp and warm salty chips were the perfect complement to the slightly spicy mix of fresh tomatoes, onions, and peppers. After a little deliberation, Vernon ordered a mango margarita, while I chose the watermelon version… both on the rocks.
We looked over the menu while sipping our cold drinks. There were so many delicious sounding options that we really had a difficult time trying to settle on a meal. Everything from standard tex-mex fare to Mi Taquito specialties filled the menu, as well as steak and burger options, salads, and vegetarian options. We placed our orders, and only a few minutes later, the waitress returned with our plates.
Vernon ordered the Carnitas. Listed as a house specialty at Mi Taquito, the large plate came filled with perfectly seasoned and incredibly tender pork tips, rice, creamy beans topped with cheese, guacamole, Pico de Gallo, lettuce, and jalapenos. Vernon chose fresh, warm, corn tortillas to accompany his meal. The portions were nearly enough for two people to share, and at only $12.99 for the meal, it was definitely worth it! I chose to order Choripollo, and boy was that a good decision. At only $11.99 for the meal, it was beyond reasonable. My plate was just as big as Vernon’s, and also had the same seasoned rice and creamy beans as his meal. I opted for warm flour tortillas. The real star of the show here was the Choripollo… tender strips of chicken, seasoned and grilled combined with spicy chorizo sausage and all topped with delicious white cheese sauce. It was amazing, so much so, that I continued to eat well beyond my belly’s limit. But it was worth it…and I guarantee I will do it again the next time we visit.
Ice cold margarita perfection that you can get in a plethora of flavors and any size from 16 ounces to the giant tube margarita, stellar chips and salsa, and meal that are genuine Tex-Mex perfection on a plate…make sure you stop by Mi Taquito Tex-Mex the first chance you have. And don’t forget to tell them that Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you!
See you on the road!
Melanie Schwarte
If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me know at Melanie@ thunderroadsiowa.com
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Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
“I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’ So, she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. ‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. ‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So, I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked. I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her. She fainted.”
One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, “We’re making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off.” Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, “Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don’t know whom to fire.” The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, “Barbara, I’ve got a problem. You see, I’ve got to lay you or Jack off and I don’t know what to do?” Barbara replied, “You’d better jack off. I’ve got a headache.”
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader.
If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.” He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?”
The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fi ll up our car’s gas tank and tires... She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, “Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!” I responded, “Inflation.”
Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long period of silence, she finally speaks: “Tim, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs.” Tim gets this horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?” “For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife.” “Ex-wife!” she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!” “I wasn’t,” he replied.
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asks, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s, my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” “My God!” says the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?” The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.” “You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said. The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!”, the officer said. “I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach.”
A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?” The boyfriend says, “Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.”
Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time.
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ly over ires... tattio i n h
What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day. The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.” Tommy replied, “Well, then just give me my money back. That’s fine.” The farmer said, “Sorry, I can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Tommy then said, “Okay, then, just bring me the dead horse.” The farmer was surprised and asked Tommy, “Why? What ya gonna do with him?” Tommy replied, “I’m going to raffle him off.” The farmer laughed and said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse! Who’d buy a ticket?” Tommy answered, “Sure I can, just watch me. I just won’t tell anybody the horse is dead.” A month later, the farmer met up with Tommy again and asked, “What happened with that dead horse in the end. Did you raffle him off ?” Tommy said, “I sure did. I sold 500 tickets at $5 a piece.” The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?” Tommy smiled and said, “Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his $5 back.”
What do you get when you mix human DNA and goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died? Yeah, I heard she was on the freeway and some dick cut her off.
This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table. He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn’t have the courage to start talking to her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. His reflexes kick in and he reaches out, plucks it out of the air, and hands it back to her. The redhead is mortified. “Oh my, I am so sorry,” she says as she pops her eye back into place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.” So, he joins her table and they enjoy a wonderful meal together. Afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks at a bar. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap. He says yes and they return to her place. He ends up staying the night. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed at how everything has been so perfect and how incredible this woman is. He can’t believe his luck. “You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman, are you this nice to every guy you meet?” “No,” she replies, “You just happened to catch my eye.”
the couple produces photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers are satisfi ed by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple’s care. The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, “We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills.” Next though, the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. This time the wife explains, “Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet.” The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, “What age child are you hoping to adopt?” The husband says, “It doesn’t really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon.”
Sir Lancelot lived in a kingdom where the queen had very large breasts. One day, he shared his deep desire to fondle the queen’s precious jewels with the queen’s servant manager, Sir Wallace. Sir Wallace mentions that he might have a solution, but Sir Lancelot would need to be give him 100 gold coins. Sir Lancelot quickly accepts the offer. The next day, Sir Wallace discreetly adds itchy powder to the queen’s bra before she gets dressed. A few minutes later, the queen starts to feel an uncontrollable itch. Sir Wallace quickly jumps in and offers the perfect remedy: one of the knights in the kingdom, Sir Lancelot, has saliva with incredible healing power. Sir Lancelot needs to kiss and lick the queen’s breasts for an hour for instant relief. Desperate, the queen accepts, and Sir Lancelot gets to work. After an hour, the queen feels much better and profusely thanks everyone. However, Sir Lancelot refuses to pay the 100 gold coins. Furious, the next day, Sir Wallace slips a large quantity of the itching powder in the King’s underwear (making sure both the front and back of the underwear are covered). In the morning, the King immediately summons Sir Lancelot for help.
A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. So,
Unaware that her daughter is hiding in the bedroom closet, a mom brings a lover to her bedroom while her husband is at work. Her husband arrives home unexpectedly, forcing her to quickly hide her lover in the same bedroom closet. The little girl whispers, “It’s really dark in here” The man nods. The girl whispers: “Look at my doll”. The man unenthusiastically looks at the doll, “That’s nice.” The girl adds, “My dad is just outside. Wanna buy my doll?” The man says, “Fine, I’ll buy your doll if you keep quiet. How much?” Taking advantage of the opportunity, the girl replies with a big smile: “$100.” Weeks later, the same thing happens. The little girl says again: “It’s really dark in here”, followed by the same “Wanna buy another doll?” The man declines until the girl hints that she might reveal their secret. The man hastily asks, “How much?” “$250” says the girl, with an even bigger smile. Days later, the dad is playing with his daughter but notices some dolls are missing. The girl proudly says she sold her dolls to a friend for $350. “It’s not fair to take advantage of your friends,” the dad says. “It’s almost as bad as stealing, it’s called a rip off. We’re going to go to church so you can confess.” The two drive to church, meet the priest at the front door. The girl then heads to the confessional booth. “It’s really dark in here,” the girl says. The priest responds, “oooh… don’t get this started again.”
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Farewell my friend, I will never forget you.
I don’t know when my first time really was, the first time I felt her, had it become a part of me. I am of course talking about the first time I was in Anamosa to the National Motorcycle Museum. That “other” first time I remember very fondly. VERY FONDLY. Now, the two events do have something in common, I remember who I was with but I don’t remember the exact year. Okay, I guess they share something else. I do wish I was involved with that activity more than I was over the years.
Let me start at the beginning of this adventure, the museum part, not the other one.
Last winter in my neck of the woods it never got very snowy but boy howdy, did it get cold and stay cold. Just stupid cold, which to be honest with you, doesn’t really bother me, I find lots of things to do outdoors in the winter and I kind of like the challenge it brings, I have written and discussed on my outdoor show many times about the Serenity of cold nights, negative temps, while around a bonfire. The cold nighttime sky, the way the constellations appear, the quiet of the woods or lake, it is something to embrace but its better with snow on the ground. That cold and no snow situation is just miserable and dumb dammit and that was last winter where I live.
While in my buddy’s
garage/bar down the street he mentioned that this summer he really wanted to go on a motorcycle overnight ride, it’s been forever since he was able to do that. Life and a wife (now ex) had gotten in his way and it was time for him to get after it again. I promised him right then and there I would make this happen and we are going to come up with something. Without missing a beat, my bride jumped in and suggested we hit Anamosa, a town we have ridden to multiple times, the roads around there are fun, the city embraces bikers, the State Pen is cool (from the outside) but Stone City and the General Store is legit one of our favorite places in the state to ride to, and she said, “You need to see the National Motorcycle Museum, you would geek out”.
The ride started coming together that night over a few beers, who we should invite, dates to look at and more on a cold (very cold) winter night, a summer dream was planned.
To be fair, JJ (my ride or die) and I have done several of this types of adventures but have done very few over the last few years, High School and college age kids, work, family commitments, and a pile of other shit just hasn’t afforded us the free time do get away like we did over the last 15 plus years.
We scratched in a date in July to make this happen and moved on to other topics of conversation, likely about how my buddy who I will call “Ron” since that is his name has a special filter that doesn’t permit him to see red flags when finding potential girlfriends and the more flags the more he seems interested. It doesn’t seem like it’s by design but it does seem to be his self-proclaimed default setting.
It was shortly after that we learned that indeed this was going to be the last year of operation for the museum and it was kind of a gut punch knowing that it will never be around, a missing hole in the biker world for sure. The pure volume of rider history that was collected provided something for every biker
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around. The styles, models, oh I could go on and on but it would not do the place justice and I am not a worthy enough historian or writer to pay the proper homage to the wonderful collection. But here is a great example, JJ (my ride or die babe) is not a history geek like I am, but the devotion to telling the stories of the ladies that blazed the trails is something she embraced, we would spend hours and hours there, many times going our own way, only to find something fascinating to share and we would track one another down to share it. We took so many photos over the years, talked back and forth about cool stuff, wondered aloud about what it took to create, ride, repair, market, etc. so many things.
Dates later got dialed in, even with more focus now knowing it would be the last time. We started inviting the group we wanted to share it with, many of our friends that have been there before and as shit happens, life happens, very few could make it. Family, work, moving, vacations, afraid to get a bike dirty, scared for a number of reasons… the list grew shorter and shorter all the time.
Side note, if you don’t go on rides because your bike isn’t clean or you are afraid your bike will get dirty on an adventure you really need to sell that f*(&er now and move on. You might not know this, but nobody cares if your bike is clean. You are getting mocked because you are being a little bitch. Or find better excuses. Geesh.
Most of the reasons were legit, I get it, I have been there a lot over the last few years, so we ended up with seven total going on the trip, one couple had never ventured this far and they were excited to get the chance, which I love doing…so happy to pop their overnight cherry.
Lodging booked, date set, and we all agreed no interstate if possible, cool, interstates are only for when you want to get somewhere quickly, not when you want to see stuff and see “stuff” we did.
Leaving Council Bluffs early on a Saturday, we made our way to our first stop, the legendary Albert the Bull in Audubon, a monument dedicated to the T Bone Train and it’s just flipping cool. Breakfast in Carroll and we headed down Highway 30 in the midst of a sunny but smoke packed, haze filled day. Thanks Canada, learn some damn forestry management for Pete’s sake. After a few gas and potty breaks as we headed northwest out of Ankeny, JJ decided to direct us to Brandon, Iowa for the state’s largest Frying Pan, I mean, you don’t get that close and NOT go see the largest frying pan. Next thing you know it’s Let’s Go Brandon before hitting Anamosa and checking in at the Super 8 across the parking lot from the museum, convinced that hotel is a museum itself since it’s not been updated since it was built, guessing late 80’s. It has that new hotel smell, okay, that wasn’t it…it just had a smell.
We cleaned off some road grime and dinner was next at the General Store in Stone City a scant few miles, but
beautiful miles from town and what a worthy stop. Having dined here several times we were excited to share with the group and it was just as amazing as it’s always, even packed, the staff worked their collective asses off and we had an fab meal and all of us ate way too much and I wished I was wearing stretchy happy fat pants because, well, I was over stuffed!
Next to the general store is a humbling reminder of the freedom we are enjoying. The Freedom Rock was built with pride and a memorial to the great many service men and women from that area dating back with connections to the very founding of our country. We spent a good deal of time, quietly reading the memorials, the dates, the details and I was deeply moved by it all.
The museum was incredible as it always is. I soaked it in as long as I could. We each saw something we found that stuck with us and I noticed things I didn’t see the last time I visited. I am not a pure brand guy, I really love all kinds of bikes, the history of them, and how we got to the point we are with these machines. I cannot believe it’s not going to be there for us any longer.
Of course we took a slightly different path home, hit different towns, fuel stops, an old haunt for food that was just as good as we recalled on previous adventures and before I knew it, 675 miles were logged and memories that I will never forget were made.
Thank you to JP for building what you did. The biker world should forever remember what you did for us.
As for Anamosa, I really don’t know if I will ever visit you again, I’d like to think so, I promise the lodging will be upgraded (yikes) but the area always gives us so much back and welcomes all bikers, I hope that never changes.
On the back side of it all is a group that wants to get another big ride in yet this year and the goal is 1000 miles in a weekend, not iron butt stuff, but an adventure nevertheless.
Man, it was good to be back in the saddle for a long road adventure.
Todd “Crash” Davis
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Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa
Iowa Bike Nights and Dinner Rides
Tuesday
Mom’s Maxwell (2nd & 4th Tuesday)
Wednesday
Back Forty Bike Night at the Barn Des Moines (2nd Wed May-Sep)
Bea’s Place Baxter
Cruise Night Britt (3rd Wed Jul-Sep)
Pete & Shorty’s Clarksville
Supper Rides Harley-Davidson of Carroll (7-19, 8-16,9-13)
Dinner Rides Zylstra HD Ames
Thursday
Edwards Bikes on the Hundred Block Council Bluffs (3rd Thursday)
Roar Into Harlan (3rd Thursdays)
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill Duncombe
Metro HD Cedar Rapids (2nd Thursday May-Sep)
East of Omaha Bike Night Griswold (1st Thurs MaySep)
VFW Post 9662 Des Moines (Every Thurs Apr-Oct)
Screamin’ Eagle Waterloo (Jun-Aug)
Chommy’s Bar/Grill Eldon (3rd Thursday)
Thunder N2 Atlantic Bike Night Atlantic (2nd Thurs Jun-Oct)
Tip Top Lounge Ames (start Jun 1)
McGrath Powersports Cedar Rapids (Last Thurs May-Aug)
Maggie’s Rumble Room (1st and 3rd Thurs)
Friday
Bondurant Bike Night at the Rails (4th Friday
Apr-Sep)
American Legion Post 232 Polk City (2nd Friday
May-Sep)
Thunder Nites Newton (2nd Friday Jun-Aug)
Off Point Pub Davenport (Every Friday)
Burt’s Dog House Boxholm (Every Other Friday)
Renegade Night Chariton (1st Friday Jun-Aug)
Wet Spot Runnells (Every Friday)
Mean Machine Grub Run Elkhart (1st Fri-May - Sep)
Saturday
Dirty Biker Design Winterset (Jul 15, Aug 12, Sep 9)
I-29 Dragway with LHHD Pacific Junction (Aug 26, Oct 14)
Happening’s Bar Steamboat Rock (3rd Sat May-Sep)
Kilroy’s Redfield (2nd Sat May-Sep)
Carlisle Bike Night (3rd Saturday)
Ambro’s Roadhouse DeSoto (1st Sat – Oct)
Sunday
Just 1 More Jamaica (Starting in May)
Tavern 36 Mitchellville (Last Sunday)
This list is what we have found and what has been submitted. Before heading to any event, please check weather and make sure the event is not cancelled. Not responsible for misprints and typos. If you have any other events to list, please email vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com
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Iowa on Facebook
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2023
Aug 26 2nd Annual Support our Veterans Ride Livermore
Legion
Aug 26 Kyle’s Mile 9 Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids
Aug 26 7th Annual Shayla Bee Fund Black Tie Black
Leather Affair West Okoboji
Aug 26 8th Annual Randy Hagle’s Sidetracked Memorial
Ride Creston
Aug 26 3rd Annual Craig’s Ride and Drive Amvets Riders
Hudson
Aug 26 Road Trip in Memory of Harley McDonald
Just One More Jamaica
Aug 26 Band of Brothers Oscar CO Memorial Ride
Andalusia, IL
Aug 27 Bikes 4 Kids Motorcycle Show Walker
Aug 31-Sep 2 52nd Annual Motorcycle Swap Meet Davenport
Aug 31-Sep 3 Redneck Revival Conesville
Sep 1-4 Midway Tavern’s 25th Annual Soldier Valley Poker
Run, BBQ/Dance/Concert Soldier
Sep 2 Remembrance Run Algona
Sep 3 Biker Bash 2023 Lake Park
Sep 3 9th Annual Donahue Frontier Days Bike Show
Sep 6-9 National Motorcycle Museum Auction Anamosa
Sep 9 D4 Bike Show Runnells
Sep 10 Motorcycle Hill Climb Anamosa
Sep 10 1st Annual Car & Bike Show Amvets Riders
Cedar Falls
Sep 10 HD of Carroll Memorial Golf Scramble Carroll
Sep 16 4th Annual Harley Joe’s Invitational Bike Show
Omaha, NE
Sep 16 D23 Motorcycle Rodeo Clermont
Sep 16 10th Annual Chosen Few MC End of Summer Poker
Run and Party Cedar Rapids
Sep 16 BBQ Open House RT 65 HD Indianola
Sep 16 Fall Hog Roast Zylstra HD Ames
Sep 16 Mean Machine “Smalltown Throwdown” Burnout Contest & Stereo Battle Elkhart
Sep 17 17th Annual World-Famous Butterfield’s M-C Parts Hot Dog Daze Omaha, NE
Sep 17 Concours de’ Cornfield Earlham
Sep 21-24 MRF Meeting of the Minds Harrisburg, PA
Sep 23 22 Veteran Suicide Awareness Association Poker Run Pacific Junction
Sep 23 D18 Toys for Tots Ride Burlington
Sep 23 Bike Night & BBQ Cook Off Stuart
Sep 23 Bikes for Tykes Benefit Poker Run Muscatine
Oct 1 Toy Run HD of Carroll
Oct 8 D4 40th Annual Toy Run Des Moines
Oct 15 39th Annual Fall Auto & Motorcycle Swap Meet Monticello
Oct 28 Screamin Saturday Chili Cookoff and Halloween Event Zylstra HD Ames
Nov 4 Pancakes for Patriots Zylstra HD Ames
Nov 4 Solid Ones MC Clubhouse Day of The Dead Party Carlisle
Nov 10-12 Iowa Steam Waterloo
Dec 9 Brrrrunch Party and Santa Stop Zylstra HD Ames
Dec 9 Holiday Open House Big Barn HD Des Moines
2024
Mar 22-24 Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet
Fremont NE
Mar 23-24 35th Annual Donnie Smith Show and Swap
Saint Paul, MN
Jul 3-6 ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona
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