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Welcome to
Yaadi Culture, Fimi Style Magazine
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Becoming a parent is a blessing, the interactions with your child, the laughter
issue,
and the smile on their faces when they are
approach as it relates to child growing and
happy simply takes your breath away.
development on the part of our parents and
This months issue will be focusing on
guardians. I urge you to spend a little more
“Children/Parents/Guardians” in
an
time with your children, talking, playing
effort to show that parenthood and
and fostering good social , moral and
guardianship is a huge responsibility , one
values in them so that they can grow to be
that
good upstanding citizens of this great
requires
constant
dedication,
selflessness and a genuine spirit that loves
lobbying for a more hands on
nation.
unconditionally. Alot of what is happening in our society is as a result of the breakdown in the
Adrian St. P. Duncan
communication and interaction channels
Editor - in– Chief
in our family lines. We are, through this
Deidre D. Douglas Senior Associate Editor
Layout & Design Contributors:
Adrian St. P. Duncan Dillon Thomas
Photographs
OB Photography
Teisha Dawkins Georgette McGlashen Hugh Miller Christal Miller
Rosa-Lee Wood
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Kids: Yes, No, Maybe So “Dear ladies. Pregnancy is like baptism, the vows are until death. Sure at times we may get wayward and indulge in some out of character activity, but that’s for us and our Lord to talk about. It is the same with babies and parenthood and all the shenanigans that come with this. The moment you conceive is the moment you start living a completely different life, even when on the outside nothing seems to have changed.” Dasouda
Why
would I want to bring children into this wicked world, where airplanes
disappear and children stab and shoot each other at school? A place where every moment these kids are out of my eyesight is another moment for me to worry, even if we are both in the same place. “Did I lock the bathroom door?” “Are all the sockets covered?” “Are all harmful items out of reach?” Take it from me, a person born in a curious family, hospital is not a place to be visiting casually, sleepless nights take their tolls on the body, and worrying ages one very quickly.
a storm is coming and I live on the river bank, what should I do? Likewise I find myself pregnant but I am presently in an undefined relationship, my address is not child friendly and I do not have a job. In my head the answers to both questions are more similar than many would realise. If you are a worry horse, start worrying, more realistically, start to
fret! Even two stable,
responsible individuals in a situation like this may worry. The next year or two may be touch and go. It is a delicate matter. It takes planning and resources to make it to delivery day and beyond.
Documentaries, seminars and literature haven’t really softened me up either. The most I can say is, every now and then, a friend or family member of mine is real with me, and as scary as the reality gets, those are the times I am most swayed by the idea of being a mother. I for one know that romanticizing anything doesn’t make it any sweeter. In order to endure any storm, you have to know there is one coming, and maybe what type, magnitude, direction, speed and if possible, time of expected arrival. 5 Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
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Cont’d Resources should include money, support and
cially a proud one, there must be contingency plans
God. Where is the closest emergency shelter, or
that by some fluke the man flees. Or maybe you real-
hospital, or church, or person to count on?
ise he isn’t who he has portrayed himself as. A woman
Next scenario, a storm is coming but my roof
has to be a woman, responsible for the person she
leaks. Do I take the money I have and fix the roof
chose to carry in her womb for three trimesters, who
or do I pray its dies down before it gets to me and
she fed through its belly button, and directly influ-
save my money? That is like asking, “Do I try
enced (bad or good) while it was inside her. The only
and fix my
relationship before I have a baby
fix for this is to assert yourself, make choices you will
or have a baby and see if this new member will
be able to live with and face your fears, if these are
make it all ok?” Well as the ever affable and
what you are afraid of. A wise woman once said, “Its
comical Mr. Lex once sang, “Pickney naah hol’
here already, deal with it.”
man again”. It is true not to expect drastic
Babies won’t stay babies forever, but for a mother,
changes in situations if both parties aren’t in on
their babies are always that. As women the pressure is
the secret. Kids don’t make relationships better,
sometimes placed on us to get to that place, way be-
they give both parents (if both are involved)
fore we are psychologically or financially ready and
more things to do and less unplanned time for
physically capable for it. In the end the choice should
themselves to work on what they could be.
be made with as much importance and consideration
Remedy
as you can garner, not allowing even the significant
for broken relationships is surgery. It takes time,
knowledge and technical skills. Not everyone is good at DIY. Finally, the storm is here, the winds are blowing,
other to have more than a 25% yes vote. You both will become parents, but only you will be carrying around this child until it is ready to be in this world. My view, if he loves you, he won’t need more than 10% of his influence to convince you when the time is right.
roads flooded, electricity down. Am I prepared for this? Similarly, the baby is here or maybe the pregnancy is at an advanced stage, the reality of all this entails has started to set in. Here is the big question: Am I really ready? As a female, espe@YaadiCulture
Babies are gems Sweet, no matter how they smell Contagious even without a cold But then they grow up And we get old. Dasouda
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I was about to be a mother. Having had three previous miscarriages, all at three months, I breathed a sigh of relief when I passed the miscarriage stage and realize that this was really happening. But happiness eluded me as reality struck and I wondered "how on earth am I going to take care of a baby and I can't even change a diaper." Memories of the day I was left to babysit my 7 month old cousin. I changed his diaper, left him
month I found myself rushing to the hospital for some reason or other. I got so many injection and was strung up to so many drips that I felt like a professional hospital patient. Injections, something I use to be terrified of, was welcomed with outstretched arms. Anything to feel better. It's not this way for everybody, so I hope I don't scare the living daylights out of soon to be mothers.
trails of poo behind him the same way Hansle &
Going
Gretel left bread crumbs, because I didn't put the
cannot stress enough the importance of a father. I
diaper on correctly. But diaper change was not my
plea to the men out there. If you don't want any
greatest fear, the dreaded day of labour was foremost
responsibilities, don't stick that thing where it can
on my mind. I have a very low tolerance to pain. One
trigger reproduction. Due to my severe illnesses, I
would find it hard to believe, considering I play
could not do my regular marketing or radio jobs
football and always have some form of injury.
which required me to be physically present, and
It
trying to source another job, no one would hire a
to crawl around, only to notice that he was leaving
was 10 months of horror. That is how I describe my pregnancy to people. Yes 10
months! They tricked us! Women are not pregnant for
through this all has changed my perspective on some things. I
pregnant woman. What came to mind was "the burning of the bra".
9 months, it's actually 10. Imagine my annoyance when I found this out. These factors will be my contraceptive for the rest of my life, I refuse to do this again. My bed became my best friend. To the extreme where everybody was telling me that my baby would be lazy. Allow me to say, he is quiet the opposite. Morning sickness, terrible heartburns, belly aches, headaches, high blood pressure, anaemia, dehydration just to name a few of the things I experienced. Every Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
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Cont’d
I am a feminist. All for, whatever a man can do, a woman can do it too. But after what I went through, I questioned the logic behind this move. We as women go through so much already. Bearing a child is not an easy task. Working while pregnant can be compared to slavery. Worse, when the child is born, having to take care of that child, your husband, plus the household, is a fulltime job in itself. In fact, it's ten times harder than what the man does to earn his bread. Which is why I now have high respect for housewives and women in general. The labour pains alone were enough to open my eyes. I salute those who have more than one children. "Oonuh good" that is all I can utter. Once more, let me not scare anybody, not all women have labour pains, and every pregnancy is different On January 6, labour was induced. My water broke at 12:05 pm, I remembered the time clearly, because I was on whatsapp. (lol). After half an hour, I barely recalled anything until a doctor came to me at about 10:30 pm and said "Ms Wood, we're going to have to cut you." I was passing in and out of consciousness while he kept saying "stay with me, you have to hear this" While he rambled on for what seemed like an hour, about the negatives that could happen during and after the operation. I remembered him telling me I have to sign something. I know I signed it, or they could not have proceeded with the operation, but, if it was a signature or an X, only God could tell me. The pain was too much to bare, I wanted to grab his neck and say "stop the long chat and just tek di bwoy outa mi already nuh. What's the hold up? Cut mi! Cut mi! Cut mi!" My next memory was being lifted on to the operating table. More rambling from the anesthetician about what kind of injection I was about to get and what it will do. "Juk mi already nuh, what's the delay for?" was what I was screaming in my mind. Finally, 2 spinal taps,
pain gone, operation started, I now await the delivery of my child. Truly labour pains. Nothing is more difficult than having a child. Labour, how fitting a word. I was getting groggy on the operating table, but I forced myself awake because I wanted to see my baby. I wanted to hear his first sounds. As I write this, I can feel the excitement I felt at that moment, anxiously awaiting his arrival in the world. And then I heard it. The boy barely made a sound. I was expecting to hear the shrilled cries of newborns that I've been hearing on the labour ward, and what I've heard in movies. Just a little cry made me know he was out. I turned my neck so far right I swore I would have a crooked neck, trying to get a glimpse of him. Bummer, they hid him perfectly while they cleaned him. It felt like hours before they finally turned and showed him to me. "It's a boy! Do you see his little penis?" I chuckled then said "He looks like his father!" The moment they wheeled him out I knocked out. True consciousness was not regained until the next morning. Real fear dived in as I made my way home, no more nurses to assist. What on earth was I going to do? I didn't know the first thing about child care. If he cries how will I know what is wrong with him? Will I wake up each time he is to be fed? Will I hear him each time he wakes? I've heard terrible stories about newborns and mothers who get no rest and sleepless nights. Sleep while the baby sleeps, is the advice. But God has been great to me, I got a job one month before giving birth, so unfortunately I had to work while he slept. Earlier I mentioned women needing assistance, well, I must thank God for all the angels he sent. 8
@YaadiCulture Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
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I didn't have to wash nor cook. Just take care of my baby and work. Let me once more appeal to the men who impregnate. Being pregnant and having a child is not only a woman's job. You have to be there with her every step of the way, helping her. Mastering my role as a mother came so easily I was impressed with myself. Pregnancy was hard, but mothering was easy. For me that is. I realized that understanding the language of your crying child is a natural act. It was the most amazing discovery. I did not have a fussy baby, despite the beliefs that he would be a miserable one due to the fact that I was miserable right throughout my pregnancy. I knew what he wanted each time he cried. Either food or he wanted to be changed. Night times weren't so bad, he woke up the same times each night, just for food. Then came the gaseous period, and what I call "the Bush Beliefs". All babies "gripe", I'm not certain that is a real word, but it refers to the gas that a baby gets for the first 3 months of life. The doctors say nothing can stop it. The baby is going to get fussy and cry alot, all you can do is hold them and try to comfort them. I didn't like seeing my baby in pain, so I took a chance and allowed them to boil "the gripe bush" which, according to bush beliefs, is the only thing that can help. Allow me to say that it worked like a charm. My baby passed it all out and stopped griping for a while after drinking just one 2ounce dose. I am not a bush doctor so I am not recommending it to any one. Every baby reacts differently to different things. Everybody kept insisting that I tie a red-string on the baby's hand. "Prevent the duppy dem from play wid him." Especially being that his father was dead. "Mine him puppa come try feed him innuh. That's why him doodoo green!" I was even being sent to a "Reader
Man" to get an un-marked bottle of liquid which I should either feed him or anoint him with. (rolls eyes). No red string, no red clothes, no obeah oil, nothing but the good old Bible opened at Psalms 23 at his head to ward off evil. By the way, I later found out that the green faeces were as a result of the gas being passed out. As time progressed, other Bush Beliefs were brought up. "Don't wipe the baby mouth water, it will turn into slime." Once more, eyes rolled, I wiped the drool away. I am still waiting to see the slime Then I was told not to watch his teeth that were popping up because "dem wi turn back!" I took pictures of them almost everyday. Turn back! They must mean that they will grow faster, because one popped up today and within two days the next was up. "Don't pass the baby backway!" They couldn't tell me what would happen if I did, so any way he got passed, he got passed. "Bathe the baby in Blue so that him dead father don't trouble him." Up to this day I don't know what "Blue" is. I would have gone and bought a cake soap if I had any intention of obeying. "Don't look too much on the baby, you will over look him. If you do, you will have to scrape his foot bottom and give it to him to drink." No wonder there were so many baby deaths back in the days. Well I "over look" my son everyday I can't stop looking at him. Before glycerin, they would use a nappy that had the baby's pee on it to clean out the baby's mouth. That just makes absolutely no sense. Using waste to clean? All in all I'm proud to say that my son is thriving well. At 4 months he has 2 bottom teeth. He smiles alot. Talks alot, to everybody, although we don't speak baby. He's still not a fussy child. Far from lazy, in fact I don't have enough energy to keep up. As a female who feared being a mother, I am grateful that God has bestowed this joy upon me. Despite the horrible start it has been my greatest experience! When I became a mother, I became a woman. When I 9 became a mother, that is when I truly started living! Yaadi Culture, Fimi Style
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lady in a JUTC bus and a policeman and a male student near a bus stop. There is a common saying “it takes a village to
The bus stopped in Cross Roads and picked up some
raise a child”, an aged saying which speaks
students that were on route to Papine after school. A
volumes, not only in words, but also in practice.
few minutes after entering the bus the boys started to
It can also be seen as charge to members of
behave in rowdy manner and this caught the attention of
society to reinforce the principles of yester-year as
most of the occupants of the bus; they even became
it relates to growth and development of our
very loud and was using expletives at one point. This
children and young adults, the ways in which they
quickly got the attention of a lady that was sitting in
socialize and not to mention the protection of
close proximity to them. She turned and shouted at the
these children and young adults on the roads.
boys “shut up and behave yourselves around there, me
Regarding
every child as our
sure uno mother nuh raise uno fi behave dah way deh”.
own enables us to
The boys were clearly surprised as it is not the practice
cater to needs of our children on the road. A
for persons to reprimand them especially in a public
communal spirit prompts us to protect our
bus. They continued their “bad behaving streak” and the
children; despite their sometimes ungrateful,
lady, this time got up and made it clear that if they did
resistive attitude and disrespectful ways. We
not stop she would physically reprimand them as if she
complain that our children are getting out of hand
was their parent. The boys stopped, sat in silence and
but we are playing a part in their behavioral
behaved themselves for the duration of the journey.
dwindling; we have failed them in providing proper guidance and protection. The “aunties and uncles” on the road spirit is weakened and adults nowadays are reluctant to reprimand a child or provide
guidance
to
young
people
and
specifically, high school children on the road. It is not that inexistent as recently I was privy to two experiences that outlines that given continuity and greater proliferation, this spirit can be fully and functional. These two incidents took the form of 10 @YaadiCulture
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Continued The next incident is with a policeman and a
the Governor General, you are a subconscious “I
student at a bus stop that was caught on tape and
believe ambassador” and an “I want to see” activists
went viral. The tape shows a police officer trying
advocate. This is the kind of characteristic we want
to search the bag of a male student that was
spreading like a wild flower, this is the kind of value
supposed to be heading in the direction of school.
for self, our brothers and sisters, our children and our
The officer tried to get the bag from the student
society we want to see displayed. If we each adapt this
that was reluctant to give the bag to the police
principle and put on the “aunty and uncle” caps when
officer to search. The officer had to take his
we traverse the streets daily we are sure to see a
baton and hit the student on his hand for him to
change in the behaviour and attitudes of our children.
let go the bag. He was then placed inside a bus that was nearby after which the police officer searched him to see what he was carrying.
Both
We talk about aspects of change that we want to see reflected in our society but we are not participating in the implementation and execution of our speech; as it
incidents outlines that there
relates to turning into actions. A great man once said
are still persons that are
“we should become the change that we want to see”,
well thinking in our Jamaican that are still fight-
hence, we need to start with ourselves and push the
ing to steer our children in the correct
“aunty and uncle” street initiative.
direction or modus operandum; the “uncle and
Are you not tired of seeing our children wasting their
the aunty” spirit is still alive and present in our
lives on the roads daily?
streets and on our roads. Even though this is a daunting task and it seems more daunting as the days goes by but we are still doing our best to
Are you not tired of seeing disrespectful students with rotten attitudes?
help foster development in a proper and
Then you need to become a voice for change………
respectable manner. Though it is sometimes hard
……..be an I want to see “actions advocate”.
and you have to think even three times before actually saying something, the mere fact that you find the courage to say or do something shows that you still believe that there can be a difference, there can be a change. . Maybe, like
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Chikungunya virus Chikungunya virus is transmitted to people by
Symptoms Most people infected with chikungunya virus will develop some symptoms. Symptoms usually begin 3–7 days after being bitten by an infected mosquito. The most common symptoms are fever and joint pain. Other symptoms may include headache, muscle pain, joint swelling, or rash. Chikungunya disease does not often result in death, but the symptoms can be severe and disabling. Most patients feel better within a week. In some people, the joint pain may persist for months. People at risk for more severe disease include newborns infected around the time of birth, older adults (≼65 years), and people with medical conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, or heart disease.
mosquitoes.
The
most
common
symptoms
of
chikungunya virus infection are fever and joint pain. Other symptoms may include headache, muscle pain, joint swelling, or rash. Outbreaks have occurred in countries in Africa, Asia, Europe, and the Indian and Pacific Oceans. In late 2013, chikungunya virus was found for the first time in the Americas on islands in the Caribbean.
Diagnosis The symptoms of chikungunya are similar to those of dengue, another disease spread by mosquitoes. See your doctor if you develop the symptoms described above. If you have recently traveled, tell your doctor. Your doctor may order blood tests to look for chikungunya or other similar diseases.
Once a person has been infected, he or she is likely to be protected from future infections. 15 @YaadiCulture
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Treatment There is no medicine to treat chikungunya virus infection or disease. Decrease the symptoms: Get plenty of rest Drink fluids to prevent dehydration Take medicines, such as ibuprofen, naproxen, acetaminophen, or paracetamol, to relieve fever and pain.
Prevention No vaccine exists to prevent chikungunya virus infection or disease. Prevent chikungunya virus infection by avoiding mosquito bites (see below). The mosquitoes that spread the chikungunya virus bite mostly during the daytime.
Protect Yourself from Mosquito Bites Use air conditioning or window/door screens to keep mosquitoes outside. If you are not able to protect yourself from mosquitoes inside your home or hotel, sleep under a mosquito bed net. Help reduce the number of mosquitoes outside your home or hotel room by emptying standing water from containers such as flowerpots or buckets. When weather permits, wear longsleeved shirts and long pants. Use insect repellents Repellents containing DEET, picaridin, IR3535, and oil of lemon eucalyptus and para-menthane-diol products provide long lasting protection. If you use both sunscreen and insect repellent, apply the sunscreen first and then the repellent. Do not spray repellent on the skin under your clothing.
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For
most of my life, I have been a vicarious parent. Being placed in
such a peculiar position as a result of numerous factors including; not having a child of my own . I was always the “uncle” figure to family and friends’ children for years and was, and still am, quick to point out proper parenting practices to everyone. I can adamantly state that placed in this category has empowered me with enough parenting knowledge to last three lifetimes.
educational fostering and continuity. It is a wonderful thing to know that you have positive, well-thinking individuals around us who are able to help in fostering and instilling good principles and reinforce acceptable and respectable moral standards that will be applauded by their parents and other members of society. A lot of times we are more excited about the glamour and the moments of excitement that comes with our
I am sure that I am not the only one who has
friends’ and families’ children; we play with them, take
been forced in this category from such a tender
them to the parks, for ice-cream and to the movies but
age, having a number of friends and family
do not zoom in on the educational and intellectual
members who have been parents for years and
growth and development of these children.
some in recent times have allowed me to see the
I challenge you to drive more “vehicles of intellectual
process of moving from the delivery to the
and educational development” for our “vicarious
growing and careful tutelage and ultimate holistic
children” . When you are going to buy gifts try to buy
development through to maturity.
the ones that are more educationally inclined as opposed
A child is a precious gift, a blessing to the parents, family members and friends that will ultimately help to bring this child through the educational and socialization stages of their lives.
to the ones that are for mostly fun, these help to stimulate their little brains and help in the fostering of critical thinking and cognitive analysis and skills from a tender age.
Being a “God parent”, an “auntie” or “uncle” to this precious gift is a privilege as at times they are not yet blessed with such a gift for themselves so they help to foster knowledge sharing and help with socialization and 18 Yaadi Culture, Fimi Style @YaadiCulture
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Continued
Another example is of a young baby (not more than 3 years) with his pants below his waist and he was cursing and acting in a manner unbecoming of an adult, let alone a child. We should be mindful of the attitudes we display around these children as they are only replicating as they cannot yet decide if those are attitudes and traits to be emulated. Stop for a minute, look at the society and do a quick assessment of the behaviour and attitudes prevalent. Is that how you want your child to be
The
influences we have on these
behaving or speaking?
children is mind blowing as And old saying begins “teach a child ‌.â€?
they emulate our actions, speech, attitudes and even mimic or behavioral patterns. Example, there is a video on Facebook with a young boy arguing with his mother for cookies. He was actually making compelling arguments as to why he should get cookies or full access to them. Outlining that when he is by his grandmother, there is no locks on the cupboards and cookies are easily accessible and limitless. Now, clearly this child has been observing an adult with these argumentative characteristics and is doing an excellent job in replicating them. @YaadiCulture
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As a somewhat precocious child , I was often in trouble with my parents. My parents, on the other hand, were old-fashioned Jamaicans who believed that the remedy for “precociousness” was a good flogging every now and then. We can argue about the merits of corporal punishment but what always fascinated me was the fact that the flogging alone was never enough. There was always some kind of verbal commentary before/during/after the process. I’ve taken a moment to jot down some of those comments along with my thoughts on those comments as they were said to me. So you think you is a big man now? Clearly I’m not. Big men don’t get flogging. What yuh crying for? I soon give you something to cry for. Thanks, but no thanks. Clearly I already have enough to cry about. If you evah see mi dying trial. Huh? If there’s anybody on trial here its me. You’re just the judge , jury and executioner. Bwoy if ah box yuh, yuh feneh grease. I always wondered - What is a “feneh” and why were we lubricating it? Mind you, I couldn’t ponder on this too long as I was too busy running for my life. Pickney dis is for yuh own good. Ahhh… I’m not so sure about that. Can you provide any hard evidence to support that assertion? Any empirical data? Have any studies been done? And If I say I’m not entirely convicted of this proposition could we postpone the flogging while we discuss it? Boy, go for the belt! Its not enough that you’re about to flog me, I also have to go and fetch the instrument of my suffering??? There must be something in the United Nations Charter of Rights against forcing persons to assist in their own torture. You wait till ah ketch yuh. Well, that’s why I’m running. I know what happens after the “ketching”.
Dis going to hurt me more than it hurt you. I don’t see how that’s possible since you’re the one with the belt and I’m the one getting licks 21
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Superstitions
have infused the many aspects of Jamaican life. They have belief about everything from good luck, horse racing,
death, birth and even those that make you laugh or cry. Jamaica is well recognized as one of the most religious countries in the world, it is no wonder they are called a superstitious group of people. Here are some of the common superstitions in Jamaica.
1
pregnant woman should not sew during her pregnancy. She should never use a needle or a thread. It was believed that the baby would be sewn or tied up in the umbilical cord.
A pregnant mother is forbidden to stare up a tree because it was believed that the baby will be born cross-eyed.
When two pregnant women walk or sits together one of the babies
3
would be born dead.
4
When a pregnant mother craves for a certain food and scratches her body at the same time, it was believed that the baby will be born with a
mark at the same spot where the mother scratches and it may resemble the food the mother craved.
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Champs and Penn’s is all done for 2014. By
watch and I had praised him to be the next. If
champs, I mean Inter-Secondary Boys and Girls
you guessed Michael Ohara you are indeed
Championships that is an annual Jamaican multi-
correct. But this time we will spend some time to
sport high school athletics meet held by Jamaica's
see what role his parents play for his success.
Inter-Secondary Schools Sports Association. The
Kereen Williams is the prod mother of Calabar’s
five day event, held during the last week before
top
Easter in Kingston, has been considered a proving
highlighted in an interview that she had been
ground for many successful Jamaican athletes.
watching him from a young age and saw that he
Penn’s refers to the Penn Relays (also Penn Relays
has some special running talent. She explained
Carnival) is the oldest and largest track and
that she became more attentive to his interest in
field competition in the United States, hosted an-
track and field and supported him. In a way that
nually since April 21, 1895 by the University of
she was present at all his competitive meets and
Pennsylvania at Franklin Field in Philadelphia,
even training sessions on Saturdays.
sprinter
and
hurdler.
Ms.
William's
Pennsylvania. However, maybe by the time you see this article you may have forgotten about these
Ms. Williams, before sharing her track time on
events. Anyway, for both these events the athletes
the track of which she too was also a sprinter, she
and their coaches are mostly praised, but this
added that his father is also very supportive by
article will take a look at the parent of these
means of encouragement. Further, Ms Williams
athletes whose contribution is critical for support
expressed that just as she is supportive of Mi-
and success of the athletes.
chael on the track so too is she with his school work.
If you are a regular reader of this sports section, a few months ago you may remember I spoke of an athlete. An athlete who talent is always one to
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CONT’D
Michael expressed that it is difficult to be a
I am going a bit off track as well, to say that men need
student athlete; therefore the support from his
to start playing the role in their children lives so that
parents is very important, as there are times when
they may be encouraged to be success and in turn our
he would want to slack off but with his mother
country will be independently developed and wealthy.
there to keep him focus as he remains on track for
I guess that’s why mother’s day is so appreciated,
greatness.
while father’s day continues to depreciate.
Interestingly, Ms Williams encourages parents to
Here is the interview link for Ohara and his mom;
be there to support their children, but she spoke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dsSuZBy6WY
directly to the mothers. Although, she mentioned
More on Ohara; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUlYT8m-s3Y
that his father is supportive. At the end she gives a power talk to mothers and the role they must play for the success of their children at anything they do.
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Who is a parent? child to see why not instead of just shutting down
Parenting physical,
is described as the process of
their desires and making decisions for them.
promoting and supporting the
emotional,
social,
and
intellectual
Common Parenting styles in Jamaica
development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting is much more than raising a child from the
The parenting style that mostly exists in the
biological stages. As such a parent is someone who is
Jamaican society is authoritarian- in an effort to
responsible for providing physical, emotional and
foster discipline; conformity and re-enforcement of
financial
support to a child from birth through to
proper values parents play more of an authoritative
adulthood. The most notable goals of parenting are:
figure. In so doing, they are the decision-makers for
ensuring proper health and safety of the child, prepar-
the child as well as provide guidelines for behavior,
ing child(ren) for life as productive adults and
speech and overall conduct. Children often times say
transmitting cultural values.
that their parents outline to them that “it is either
As well as, teaching
children values and morals that will help them to
their way or the highway�.
develop socially and ensure that they have the neces-
children are expected to follow and adhere or face
sary knowledge to become a responsible adult and
the consequences. They sometimes do not feel the
make responsible decisions and good contributors to
need to explain anything to children and they do not
the development of fellow men and country.
expect their decisions or orders to be questioned. I
Fostering a good parent/children relationship is very
would like to say the other style most noticed is
healthy for the development of the child socially,
uninvolved but in this definition the parents provide
intellectually and on a holistic level. In my opinion,
basic needs for their children. This means that the
when children have good parents they are happier
parent is aware of the roles and responsibilities thrust
individuals. If given the support and tutelage from
on him/her as it relates to providing for their basic
parents, children will excel as they have the ability to
needs however, that are not responsible for
be productive and they usually are, because good par-
facilitating the social and educational development
enting also involves providing support for children.
of the child.
They set rules and
Figuring out what they want and if you realize that what they want is not such a good thing you help the
26 Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
27
Continued
Currently, there is a proliferation of young single mothers with multiple children, sometimes they are not even trying hard enough to provide for their children. I acknowledge that there are a lot single mothers who try their utmost to ensure that their child is not in need of the important things but there are a lot who have children and when you see the children it is as if they live by themselves. The mother is wearing the latest hairstyle, their nails are freshly manicured and in attendance at every party, while, the child is missing school, when he does go to school he doesn’t have any
me or think about my needs only. When I do decide to take that step or if it is prematurely thrust upon me, my child will be my priority. His needs will forever come first and my child’s needs will be met. I will be responsible for someone for the rest of both our lives, that is a responsibility that I hold very serious, furthermore, what I do determines who that child will be, hence I will be a guardian, I will be a friend and most of all I want to be supportive of my child and help him to achieve his dreams while providing physical emotional and financial support.
lunch, his shoes is torn and his uniform is dirty. Hold up, I am curious, where is this child on the numerous occasions the parent or parents are out “turning it up”?
On that
note, what do
I
consider good parenting? How do I see myself as a future parent? I am aware that being apparent is a hectic job and one that you will never be 100% ready for that huge step. That is what I think being a parent is - a huge step. Taking that step for me means changing my life, my lifestyle and mode of operation as I will no longer be living my life for
27 Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
28
“Yu no av no braawtopsi!” translated ‘you have mom, the single mom, the overseas no home training’. Filled with caution and parents and a plethora of other reasons. rebuke, the Jamaican language paints well a As a result the care and attention that is picture of what is being communicated. The vital in raising a child, to besufficiently braatopsi or the upbringing of an individual in equipped with the skills for survival – Jamaica and in any society for that matter is social, domestic, spiritual, psychological critical in determining life success. How well and many more are sometimes much one fits into society is based on how well the compromised. As a result we end up with social norms and values are taught, accepted, a cycle of events, where an absent father internalized and expressed. As it is, the most becomes the norm, a single mother is significant socialization institutions remain to worshipped and
deified, and parents
be the family, first, school and peers second, continue to prioritize foreign currency and
the
media
and
religion.
However, than child braatopsi.
increasingly, the media is taking a bigger piece of this equation. As the economy gets more challenging and people try almost any means necessary to make a living, child rearing and upbringing gets less attention and focus, when compared to time past.
The first
thing that comes to mind in the Caribbean context is
father absenteeism. Then there is the work out
Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
28
29
However, in Jamaica, when someone is regarded as not having any braatopsi it is almost always referring to manners, and almost
always
compared
to
being
‘dragged up’. I would like to suggest that
rejected, in the presence of naturally ripened bananas. Similarly a person with braatopsi is always preferred to someone who is considered as being ‘dragged up’.
braatopsi is more than just manners. As a
So outside of howdy and tengkií’ some of
friend explains, braatopsi speaks to a
the identifiers of braatopsi in adults are
deliberate process with tried and true
responsibility for self and property –
methods in child grooming and guidance.
respectably and honestly gain resources,
In the process the ‘good’ and acceptable
good hygiene and personal appearance;
values, norms and attitudes are more than
responsibility for wealth – good work
inculcated – they are a result. They are
ethics and discipline; responsibility for next
scientific; they can be used with any child
of kin – care for parents, spouse and
and get the same objective result. There-
children and general respect for his fellow
fore, when a child or someone has
man.
braatopsi, it is the good and acceptable
Until next time, waak gud an memba,
social behaviours and attitudes displayed,
howdy and tengki no brok no skwier. Av
that is being praised. Versus being
som braatopsi.
‘dragged up’, which suggest no specific process or care whether to child or from parent.
The
premature
and
hurried
development allows for weak, force-riped and carbine, as in the case of bananas that need
to
ripen
swiftly
for
sale.
Regrettably, but rightfully so, carbide bananas are always second best or Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
29
30
Her Smile Smile Her
That He’s
smile, she’s beaming. Her eyes sparkle, overwhelmed with joy.
looking at them and his elation radiates from
his skin as light rays off a glass block. We spend much time, sometimes an entire lifetime, aiming, planning and dreaming. It is one great achievement to realize a dream dreamt or to arrive at a goal set. No man is an island, we all have a mental version of the family we wish to have or create and live in. Some want replicas of the ones they grew up in. Some want the complete opposite. Some want to experiment with their procreative abilities. Some only want, but never get what they want. It is a blessing to have a family. It is one of the greatest blessings to enjoy the family you have, with God’s help, created. —- DASOUDA
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32
Mango Mangifera Indica Blackie, Stringy (common), Bombay, East Indian, Haden, Kidney, St. Julian (Julie), Turpentine, Number 11, Lady Finger, and more India, Eastern Asia (tropical and sub-tropical Himalayas)
Food (fruit consumable both cooked and uncooked, both green and ripe, as sauces, jams, sweeteners, flavourings , in salads and juices); Used in skin products Good source of vitamin C
Trees grow up to 35-40m tall and 10m wide at crown; Root able to go as deep as 6m Fruits grown in bunches and skin become yellow, orange, red, purple or stay green as they ripen; Fruits’ flesh is usually yellow with a single seed Resinous sweet smell 1700’s
Contains 5-12g sugar per 100g of fruit Made up of 80% water Primary sugars are sucrose, fructose and glucose 32
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From
deciding to stay home and do her
Now I love mothers. I always have, and always will.
privileged
few
The few girlfriends I have will tell you I ask about
horrifying babysitting encounters, to giving me grief
their moms more than about them, and everybody is
during my “dark teenage years” by overloading my
an auntie. “Tell Auntie Velma I said hi”, “How is
wardrobe with pink, to even now, like clockwork,
Auntie Dee”, “Give mommy my love” and my ever
she puts the pot on whenever the 2pm flight passes
favourite “And how will your mother feel about that?”
overhead, or at least comments that it’s time to get
Yes, I always consider the moms, because I know if
the pot bubbling. That is my mother. She is a lover
they are like mine, they always consider the kids, who
to a fault, and I love her even with her faults, and
are and will be their babies, until death. A man will be
mine. She is a sweetheart, quiet mostly, kind al-
a man and love his little girl immensely, just as I
ways, and addicted to giving a listening ear, offering
believe a mother loves her son, but a woman’s role in
comfort and being a confidant. In a nutshell, that is
her daughter’s life will make the difference between
who my mother is. I can only hope to emulate her to
love and hatred for many years.
some soul as how she beams in my eyes.
The
duty
after
a
Years have passed since I’ve been mommy’s baby girl and she has two other children who are of the
memories are many, the experiences priceless and as I have learnt over the
years, we must cherish the important stuff, the ones
premise that because I was born first I graduated
that if we grow old, we’ll want to remember, share
from that position. I for one, just let them rest with
and even relive. Just as the hand of the clock turns,
what makes them happy, as I do love them too. The
like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our
truth is I have a knack for being the baby, I’m
lives. Things change and people move away, die, get
curious and attentive and I always need help or
pulled into new situations and days become months
advice with something. Therefore mommy gets to
since the last time anyone had the time to visit. And
make me tea, wash my hair and take care of me
there is no technology available to the average person
when I’m ill. She hardly ever gets that opportunity
to replace a weekend visit just to sit on the veranda
with the boys. And I get to perfect my baking and
and talk about nothing and everything.
cooking skills, chat my mouth off and spend quality time with my mama.
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34
CONTINUED I have friends and love ones who have lost their
reference to counsel myself after a slip or fall.
mothers. And time does not heal wounds. Time
I am always honoured to say, out of nothing came
gives them more space to fill with all sorts of
something and from that I am the present product.
activities with the intent of filling the void. And just
My only reward is having the joy of being able to
like any other form of “drug”, time doesn’t really
share so many days with her. I am bossy but she
solve the problem. My mother took me to school,
steers me right, quietly calming me down when I’m
and basic school was a breeze. However what
livid and making it better. Of all the beings in the
stands out in my mind is crying like a baby when I
world, she was chosen to be my mother and the
started the first grade. An uninformed onlooker
benefits are bountiful. It may be a while yet before I
would have sworn I had never been to school
am opportune to pass on all I have stored and
before. But the truth is, I sort of realised the hours
inherited to my very own family. But until then, I’ll
were longer, the structure seemed more formal and
continue as the apprentice to a lovely woman, friend
disciplined, so it would mean only one thing, less
and mother. Knowing always that I add it all up the
time with my mummy.
real cost of her love is “no charge”.
Being
her
only
daughter
afforded
me
has
One love
an
advantage I’d offer to all the daughters in the world. And yes, I know, some wouldn’t want to trade their present situations, but at least some would benefit. It is like having a personal trainer for your best friend. Instead of always telling you, she lives a life and explains why it’s worth following. And like any other person with a brain I pick it apart and take out those elements I can manage right now, but I don’t discard the leftovers. I save them, because there are parts of my brain that actually know that in another time and place, I would take on the whole being of my mother, just not right now. Plus I always need
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40
Children’s Rights
Preamble Article
1:
Definition
of
the
child
Every human being below 18 years unless majority
The
most important consideration is the best
is attained earlier according to the law applicable to
interest of the child. The rights set out
the child.
in the Convention can be broadly grouped in three Article
sections:
2:
Non
discrimination
All rights must be granted to each child without Provision: the right to possess, receive or have access
exception. The State must protect the child without
to certain things or services (e.g. a name and a
exception. The State must protect the child against
nationality, health care, education, rest and play and
all forms of discrimination.
care for disabled and orphans). Article
3:
Best
interests
of
the
child
Protection: the right to be shielded from harmful acts
In all actions concerning children, the best interest
and
of the child shall be the major consideration.
practices
(e.g.
separation
from
parents,
engagement in warfare, commercial or sexual exploitation and physical and mental abuse).
Article
4:
Implementation
of
rights
The obligation on the State to ensure that the rights Participation: The child’s right to be heard on deci-
in the Convention are implemented.
sions affecting his or her life. As abilities progress, the child should have increasing opportunities to take
Article 5: Parents, family, community rights and
part in the activities of society, as a preparation for
r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s
adult life (e.g. freedom of speech and opinion, culture,
States are to respect the parents and family in their
religion and language.
child rearing function.
Article 6: Life, survival and development The right of the child to life and the state’s obligation to ensure the child’s survival and development.
40
41
Article
7:
Name
and
nationality
The right from birth to a name, to acquire a nationality and to know and be cared for by his or her parents.
Article 14: Freedom of thought, conscience and r
Arti cl e
Pres ervati on
i
g
i
o
n
States are to be respect the rights and duties of par-
The obligation of the State to assist the child in rees-
ents to provide direction to the child in the exercise
tablishing identity if this has been illegally with-
of this right in accordance with the child’s evolving
drawn.
capacities. 9:
of
l
i d en ti ty
Article
8:
e
Non-separation
from
parents
The right of the child to retain contact with his parents
Article
15:
Freedom
of
association
in cases of separation. If separation is the result of de-
The child’s right to freedom of association and
tention, imprisonment or death the State shall provide
peaceful assembly.
the information to the child or parents about the whereabouts of the missing family member. Article
10:
Family
Article
reunification
Requests to leave or enter country for family reunification shall be dealt with in a human manner. A child has the right to maintain regular contacts with both parents when these live in different States.
16:
Privacy,
honour,
reputation
No child shall be subjected to interference with privacy, family, home or correspondence. Article 17: Access to information and media The child shall have access to information from a diversity of sources; due attention shall be paid to
Article 11: Illicit transfer and non-return of
minorities and guidelines to protect children from
c
harmful material shall be encouraged.
h
i
l
d
r
e
n
The State shall combat child kidnapping by a partner or third party.
Arti cl e
18:
Paren tal
respons ibili ty
opinion
Both parents have common responsibilities for the
The right of the child to express his or her opinion and
upbringing of the child and assistance shall be
to have this taken into consideration.
given to them in the performance of the parental
Article
12:
Expression
of
responsibilities. Article
13:
i
f
n
Freedom o
r
m
of a
expression t
i
and o
n
The right to seek, receive and impart information in
Check out the next issue for a continuation of the rights of a child
various forms, including art, print, writing. 41
YAADI CULTURE, FIMI STYLE MAGAZINE
42
Vision
A driver for training and development
“A Jamaican workforce trained and certified to The Human Employment and Resource Training Trust, National Training Agency known to most Jamaicans simply as ‘HEART’ is a key driver on Jamaica’s road to development. Formed in 1982 and restructured by the amended HEART Act in 1991, the Organisation
focuses
primarily
on
international
standards,
stimulating
employment-creating investments, contributing to the improved productivity, competitiveness and prosperity of individuals, enterprises and the nation.”
stimulating
economic growth and job creation. This can only be
Mission
achieved through the creation of a highly skilled, pro"The
ductive and competitive workforce.
HEART Trust/NTA is committed to the
systematic design, development and delivery of an The HEART Trust/NTA operates 29 Technical and
integrated, flexible and responsive Technical,
Vocational Education and Training locations which
Vocational Education and Training (TVET) system
focus on providing a variety of training options to
enabling a productive workforce for national
ALL Jamaicans seeking to advance their career op-
priorities and global competitiveness."
tions. With programmes geared at transforming the lives of school leavers as well as employed persons who require training and certification, HEART Trust/ NTA is active in engaging members of the society.
Begin
your
career,
gain
work
experience and build your business idea with the HEART Trust/NTA
42
YAADI CULTURE, FIMI STYLE MAGAZINE
43
HEART's functions The HEART Trust/NTA is active in shaping a vibrant and dynamic workforce through the support,maintenance and development of Technical Vocational Education and Training institutions in Jamaica.
Developing training and facilities standards Providing information about the labor market
SIX STAPLES: OUR CORE VALUES HEART Trust/NTA promotes transparency, ac-
Main functions include: The development of Vocational and Technical skills training programmes Supporting training in the workplace and community Career guidance to all Jamaicans Job Placement to the Jamaican workforce Assesment and Certification Policy analysis of the National Technical and
countability and good work ethics. We are committed to providing an environment of integrity that fosters and engenders good moral, fiduciary and legal practices that are guided by these values: Customer satisfaction Relevance Quality Partnerships
Vocational Education and Training (TVET) system Technical assistance to institutions in the TVET system
Learning creativity and innovation Teamwork
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