Welcome to
Yaadi Culture, Fimi Style Magazine
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Is there such a thing as a balanced leader? As pressures, challenges and distractions mount at work, it can be difficult to find a spare hour — much less a sense of balance. For many of us, the inclination is to continue to do more things, more quickly while
maximizing
efficiency
and
effectiveness. We may feel the stakes are higher for our companies or that our jobs are more tenuous. We push ourselves, our co-workers and our employees to keep up the intense pace.
As
Jamaicans, it is our job to be sure these efforts are well-focused. By
putting your energy where it counts the most, you are able to improve your effectiveness and foster a sense of balance for yourself and for your organization.
Layout & Design Contributors:
Annalisa Smith
Denielle Crosbie
equally important. Consider priorities in both your
work and your personal life. What do you value most? What are your leadership values? What is the big picture? What strategies or efforts will have the most impact? What can be postponed or discarded? With that being said, this issue of the magazine will be focusing on the theme “Focus and Balance”. Your ability to focus will bring clarity to chaos. If you are not focused on key priorities, others won’t be either. Communicate the priorities and support them. Help employees reevaluate where they put their time and talent and, as a group, ensure that most of the workday is spent on high-priority needs.
Adrian St. P. Duncan
Deidre D. Douglas
Editor - in– Chief
Senior Associate Editor
Hugh Miller
Paulette Stanley-Winkle
assuming that everything is
your values and
Cover Photo
Adrian St. P. Duncan
Deidre Douglas
Stop
Citara Nelson
Catherine Clayton—Bellamy
Tenesia Benjamin Stacy-Ann Patience
Ann-Marie Scott
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C
“I wanted to figure out why I was so busy, but I couldn't find the time to do it.” ― Todd Stocker I once considered taking up yoga because I felt out of place, out of scope and I had heard it was a way of focusing and balancing out your mind, body and spirit.
These are the 10 principles of Yoga and I
And based on how out of whack and
happen to use them from time to time to level
discombobulated I was feeling, I felt the
things out in my mind and world. Being a
need for some form of intervention that
spiritual individual, and working in a physically
would not stress me out any further. So I
demanding
considered yoga. It never got to that
contradictory to my wants and needs at times. I
though.
I
may want to scream and exercise some road
concluded that yoga is not for me. I
rage at 7:15 in the morning when someone cuts
however picked up some principles of this
me off in traffic or is driving too slowly in the
said Yoga:
overtaking lane.
After
some
investigation,
field,
scheduling
becomes
Non-violence
Truthfulness
Righteousness
Wisdom
N
Simplicity
immerse myself in compassion, kindness,
Worship of the spiritual goal
humility, gentleness and patience, Colossians
Sacrifice the ego
3:12-14. All in all, this is saying “keep calm my
Self-discipline
little grasshopper”, so I try.
Reading
Contentment
on-violence however, is one of the first principles of Yoga, and even before that, I know from my
Christian values that I should at all times
4 @YaadiCulture
Yaadi Culture, Fimi Style
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Cont’d
But
this piece isn’t really about yoga; it rejuvenate them, which may take anywhere is to address what made me from 8 to 10 hours daily. This is not
considered yoga in the first place. I was so busy inclusive of a one off hibernation or staff at one point in my life that I found it difficult party or a road trip with the pals to unwind and almost impossible to turn off or mute my or de-stress. So when we make an itinerary overactive mind at any hour of the day or night. for our week or schedule our days we I didn’t sleep sound, I was always restless, and should be mindful of how much functional the side effects of these are lethargy and a time we have in each day without depriving depleting immune system. By the time my the plans of the days to come. Don’t stuff vacation came around I knew I just had to get everything in one day and don’t wait until away because if I stayed home, it would be just last minute to get started. Procrastination is a few weeks away from work getting some work not your friend. done at home. So I packed a bag and I ran away for a few days.
2 Be responsible.
The big question is how do you tackle busyness? Some of us have more hats than body parts We do so by planning ahead and knowing our so fitting them all on one head is next to imlimits, accepting these limits and gaining the possible. A single working mother is not ability to resist and refuse more than we can just a woman with a child or children who also happens to hold a job. She may be
handle.
1 Plan ahead. There are 24 hours in each day. We may not know it just yet but our brains and other organs require rest and recreation to relax and
singlehandedly responsible for laundry, homework checks, nursing her sick children, cooking, and cleaning. She also needs to transport the children to school, keep tabs on her kids and maintain her duties at work.
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If this
is a physically
gift but there are times when it can be your
demanding job
worst enemy. Here is an example: a document
also,
this
got lost somewhere during your journey from
woman may be looking at working even
work to school, but on your way you stopped at
when she is spread thin. She may not think
the cleaners, went to the grocery store and
she has time or energy to maintain a gym
transported a toddler from preschool to the
membership. A routine doctor’s checkup
babysitter. Where exactly did you lose it and
may not be in the books unless she is really
who are the people who could have come in
ill. At this point, who will do her job as
contact with it since? It may have been the
mommy dearest? I always say, take care of
rushing, and trying to map out your transit or it
yourself so you can take care of someone
may have been a lapse in concentration and a
else. So eat properly and remember extra
slip of your finger. Either way, your new task is
vitamins and minerals are necessary. Also
to regain possession of it ASAP! Sometimes it
remember to know your body, learn your
may seem we have no choice in our
limits, so you will know when you are
multitasking, but wherever you are, be there for
pushing it.
that moment, so that there arise less of a need to
3 Focus on one thing at a
retrace steps later.
time
4 Have a system.
You may have made a list of things to do,
They say if you study most normal people for a
but in no specific detail or order. This can
few days, you can basically schedule their lives
easily pose problems when time is of the
for months, even years for some. This can be
essence and or there is just too much to do.
very discomforting with all the Criminal Minds
With specific time assigned to activities,
and Law & Order episodes swimming around in
grace periods and other contingencies can
our minds.
be more readily applied. Multitasking is a 6 @YaadiCulture
Yaadi Culture, Fimi Style
7
Cont’d
But honestly, even if we change our routes so often we get agitated and unexplainably every few days, or walk the dog before we moody and we blame everything but the wash the car; there should be a system in obvious. Monotony can drive us crazy, place.
Y
regardless of how many things happen in ou should off your head be able this monotony. Mine was work, church, to know what you will do next home. Work was a mother lode, church was even if your 12 o’clock doesn’t also filled with responsibilities and home show up or worse, shows up was only used to sleep, do my laundry and
late. The simple choices we make at times store my belongings. So I picked up have huge ripple effect. These are the exercising after work, then some 5K runs responsible people hold with were sporadically placed in my schedule, loved ones and next of kin. Systems and plans then a few beach days, lunch dates and even discussions
aren’t just for emergencies either, they help us brushing up on my French, were all placed keep cool heads in otherwise stressful in my once mundane but hectic schedule. Now I even find time to be at home at
situations everyday.
times, just because.
5 Rest
So it doesn’t have to be any major step nor
Some humans are superhuman. Some of us are do they all have to come at once, but if your on a first name basis Redbull and 5 Hour life seems to be spiraling out of control, pull Energy drink. However the only cure for
up the brake lever and take a detour out of
sleep,
the ordinary into something different and
is
sleep;
and
our
bodies
need
recuperation even if we do not actually enter
maybe extremely helpful. One love
the sleep cycle. Also find some time to do “In the midst of a busy life don't forget something you enjoy, other than work. Ever
to live.” ― Marty Rubin 7 Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
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@YaadiCulture Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
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Continued on Page 35
Yaadi Culture, Fimi Style
Page 10
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As an entrepreneur, you will inevitably have a lot on your plate; now imagine doing all
David Rock penned that your brain's reward circuit
that while juggling a normal “9-5�. Staying
lights up when you multitask. Essentially, you get
focused can be tough with a constant stream
an emotional high when you're doing a lot at
of employees, clients, emails, and phone
once. To make matters worse, distraction feels so
calls demanding your immediate attention.
great. Ultimately, the goal is not constant focus, but
Amid the noise, understanding your brain’s
a short period of distraction-free time every day.
limitations and working around them can
Just twenty minutes a day of deep focus could be
greatly improve your focus and increase
transformative for any person or agency dedicated
your productivity.
to a few minutes to focus on something productive,
The today's
digital
human brain is finely
you will be amazed at the result.
a t t u n e d
Try these three tips to help you become more
distraction,
proliferated
makes it especially hard to
t o and
in
environment focus. While
multitasking has proven to be an important skill, it also comes with its downfalls. It is claimed that constantly multitasking reduces our intelligence, literally dropping our IQ levels. We make mistakes, miss subtle cues, and fly off the handle when we should not or
focused and productive:
1. Do creative & hectic work first. More Jamaicans I know normally performs mindless work first and build up to the toughest tasks. That drains your energy and lowers your focus. An hour into doing your work, you have got a lot less capacity than; at the beginning, With each decision, the brain become more and more tired and starts to operate slower.
even make wimple mistakes like spell things incorrectly.
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In order to effectively focus, reverse the order. Check off the tasks that require creativity or much more focus and con-
3. Train your mind like a muscle.
centration in the morning, and then move When multitasking becomes the norm, your on to easier work, like deleting emails or brain quickly adapts. You lose the ability to scheduling meetings, during the course of focus as distractions are now habitual as you have successfully trained our brains to be the day. 2. Allocate your time intentionally
unfocused. To get back on track try to practice
By studying thousands of people, it was concentration by turning off all distractions discovered that humans are truly only and committing your attention to a single task. focused for an average of six hours per Start small, maybe five minutes per day, and week. With this limited time allocation, work up to larger chunks of time. If you find you really want to be diligent with what your mind wandering, just return to the task at hand. It is just like getting fit, you have to you put into those hours. Most people build the muscle to be focused. focus best in the morning or late at night, as these times provide opportunities to focus; more peace and tranquility. Notice where and when you focus best, then allocate your toughest tasks for those moments.
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Continued 12
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What Is Epilepsy ? Epilepsy is a group of related disorders characterized by a tendency for recurrent seizures. There are different types of
Di
epilepsy and seizures. Epilepsy drugs are prescribed to control
E
seizures, and rarely surgery is necessary if medications are
d
ineffective.
th
sp
Types
o
There are several types of epilepsy, each with different causes, symptoms and
T
treatments. Learn about idiopathic epilepsy, symptomatic epilepsy, and other
h
types.
c
p
Types of Seizures
Refractory Epilepsy
z
Photosensitive Epilepsy
c
Benign Rolandic Epilepsy
b
Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome
Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy
Abdominal Epilepsy
Absence Seizures
Temporal Lobe Seizures
se 14
Page 15
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iagnosing Epilepsy
Evaluating
patients
with
epilepsy
is
aimed
at
treatment
determining what type of seizures they are having and
Your doctor or nurse may refer to epilepsy
heir cause. Various seizure types respond best to
medications as antiepileptic drugs or AEDs.
pecific treatments. The diagnosis of epilepsy is based
Other names used are anticonvulsants or
on:
antiseizure drugs. Sometimes the drugs are
The patient's medical history, including any family
history of seizures, associated medical conditions, and
current medications. Also helpful to the doctor is the in-
put of people who have witnessed a patient's
zures,
especially
if
there
is
a
seiloss
of
consciousness. Some important questions a patient will
be asked include:
just called seizure drugs. These medications help suppress the faulty signaling in the brain that leads to seizures. You must take epilepsy medication every day as directed, even when you aren't having symptoms. Some people need to take epilepsy medication for life. The goals of using medications to treat
At what age did the seizures begin? What circumstances surrounded your first seizure? What factors seem to bring on the seizures? What do you feel before, during, and after the
eizures? How long do the seizures last?
epilepsy include: 
Having no or few seizures

Having no or few side effects
Using only one epilepsy medication, called monotherapy
Have you been treated for epilepsy before? What medications were prescribed and in what 15 @YaadiCulture
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Generally when we set out to do a task, we are
In 2006, during my final year of the Associate
in pursuit of a desired result and as such if we
Degree programme, my father became ill and
do our jobs with passion and to the best of our
in quick succession succumbed to his illness.
abilities, then, the consequences will be
At this time, my quest began to seem difficult
positive and if we intently focus on perfecting
as I was faced with numerous challenges being
or doing the best possible job or task, goals,
the eldest of the household, a single mother of
dreams and our desires should not delay in
a 4 year old child, losing my father to the
following close behind.
dreadful cancer disease and having to care for
I had
a
personal
experience having to tune
out emotional distraction so as to concentrate on what I wanted to achieve.
I was on a
mission to further my studies.
In 2004, I
decided to pursue an Associate Degree at the University of the West Indies, Open Campus.
my smaller sister; who was 13 years of age at the time. The loss of my father impacted me as he had assisted me tremendously with my son. He would pick him up from the day care and kept him until I get home. With no physical support, I had to juggle work, school, and care for the household which was a great challenge.
Unaware of the inevitable circumstances ahead, I pressed on to achieve my goals. To my surprise, the choice I made was not without adversities.
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This
phase of my life came with a lot of turmoil and was a
very hectic period. Despite the challenges that existed and having been told by the school to sit out a term due to my increasing absence from
classes
and
late
submission
of
assignments, did not deter me from reaching my goal. I was eagerly determined to complete the program within the specified minimum
prepare myself for the various exams. With
T
God’s help, I eventually passed the exams and
purpose and awareness so as to achieve this
completed the program within the minimum
objective. If we work in this manner, we
time, but not with honours as I was
will be able to benefit from being focused,
anticipating. However,
but more importantly, we would be moving
period. To do this I had to take notes from friends if I was unable to attend school and with the use of the text and hand-outs, I would
despite these chal-
lenges I was able to excel as I wanted to be a
herefore,
despite
the
many
challenges we encounter in our lives, once we have a goal we
must remember to work with a sense of
closer towards our desired outcome.
good example for my child to emulate.
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Balance is a state of equilibrium that is a probably will concentrate on only one or two natural human condition. Yet our world is out areas of your life at a time; putting of balance and it is for this reason that so everything you have into making them work, many of us feel imbalanced. Our lives are but almost completely neglecting other areas impacted
by
uncertainty,
constant new
change,
technologies,
speed, such as health and relaxation. The challenge new is balance. Although you may have one area
opportunities and many other things. The of your life, that is awesome, you will never result of imbalance is increased stress and its feel truly fulfilled unless all the areas of your associated conditions; which is the last thing life are catered for equally. Many people do any of us need in our lives at any point in time.
I
not realize this and eventually become very
am sure you have experience times dissatisfied with their life. They begin to feel when you found different people or that there is no point in them trying to do interests like partying, reading, anything because, as far as they can tell, no studying or free time to be totally matter how hard they try, they never get what
alluring for a while, but then, gradually the they want. excitement dies down and you have lost all interest. One minute you have a feeling of total fulfillment doing something and then the next minute it is the most frustrating and annoying thing you were involved in. To be fulfilled we need to balance every area of our life. If you are like majority of Jamaicans, you 20 Yaadi Culture, Fimi Styleja
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Stop, take a minute to reflect. Discover what
Life’s balance, at its core, is about being
key ingredients are missing in your recipe for
balanced within and feeling connected
balance; whether it is exercise, fun or time just
with ourselves and with our environment
to
in a synchronized way. It is about being
contemplate
the
meaning
of
life.
Develop a plan that includes all the elements you need to feel whole, and determine the proper proportions.
Life
‘in sync’ and being whole. “If we don’t control our schedule – our schedule will control us.
balance
is
about
If we don’t find a way to live a balanced
successfully and joyfully
life –
managing and living our
our lives will get out of balance.”
lives. It is about balance between the extremes
Wayde Goodall
– between order and chaos, moving and standing still, work and leisure. It is about having a feeling of control over knowing when to shift from one to the next and being able to seamlessly do so.
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1
Jamaica is currently the only Caribbean nation in Gold Cup history to finish 2nd, 3rd and 4th. 4th in 1998, 3rd in 1993. ( The only other countries to achieve this are: Mexico, Costa Rica and the USA )
2
Jamaica is the only Caribbean nation to win the Fair Play Award in Gold Cup history. The Award has been in existence since the 2000 edition of the Gold Cup.
3
Gold Cup 2015 represents the first time Jamaica has beaten two North American teams in a single Gold Cup tournament. The Reggae Boyz defeated both Canada and The United States.
4
This year’s tournament also marks first time in Gold Cup history that 3 Jamaican players scored at least 2 goals in the tournament; Mattocks, Barnes, McCleary.
58 8 goals is the highest number of goals Jamaica has ever scored in a single Gold Cup tournament. This equals our previous highest achieved in 2005 . 22
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Many of these
Jamaican customs are widespread. But some are carried out only in some parts of the island, and
some are far removed from the upper echelons of society. Many of them are rooted in our African ancestry, but the background and logic to them may not be clear to us in modern times. Some of them are slowly dying, but deserve to be remembered. Buttons must be removed from the clothes of the deceased and the clothes
1
must be pinned or sewn without knots or the ghost will return. Pockets must also be sewn up or the ghost will return and fill it with stones and harm those left alive.
2
If someone is eating and a bit falls from his or her mouth, it is believed that a dead relative knocked it out for himself.
The body must be taken out feet first and through the front door. If the
3
back door is used, the spirit of the dead will not leave the house.
4
To prevent misfortune, a person who is building a house must kill a fowl (chicken) and pour its blood along with white rum on the ground at the four corners of the building.
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Proverbs 11:1 “A false balance is abomination to the Lord but a just weight is his delight”
Proverbs 11:1
AKJV. When one thinks of the word ‘balance’,
Joshua 24:15 Revelation 12: 7-9
equal or fairness first comes to mind, which of course, is a reasonable definition of the term. However, balance for these purposes is having ‘an impartial state of mind, in deliberating or
conflict and in this context the conflict is
just estimate of reasons and arguments on both
between Christ v. Satan, good v. evil, light v.
sides of the question which gives to each its due
darkness, truth v. lies you get the drift.
weight or force of importance”. It is to weigh
The side you choose will determine where
reasons to balance good or evil which cause you
you spend eternity – hell with the devil and
to stop, think then choose.
his minions or in the new earth with Christ.
This
means that there can
So “choose you this day whom you will
only be two sides.
serve” Joshua 24:15 AKJV.
You are either caught
on the one side or the other. There are simply no shades of grey. Having two sides means there is
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In creating this balance, you are given the power to choose; free will. God created every angel and human being with his power, knowing it was a great risk. “He
saying in prayer:
wanted His created beings to love Him because they wanted to – because they
Lord, Most High, thank you for
chose to – and not because they had to”.
having mercy upon me. Please
Lucifer (Satan) chose to stand against God
forgive me of my sins. Come into
and was cast out of heaven with his followers – Revelation 12: 7-9. Thus began the great conflict – good v. evil. In the end,
my heart and allow your Holy Spirit to guide me in making the
good will triumph over evil once and for
right choices which will place me
all when Christ returns. Where will you
on your side. In Jesus’ name I pray.
stand on the scales?
Amen.
As you reflect on these things, think about what it is that you need to do in order to be
Do not be afraid to tell the Lord how you feel,
on the Lord’s side. If you feel that there is
what you have done and ask for his guidance
no need to consider this or your salvation is
daily. From this day forward you can
not important, then do nothing. After all it
continuously seal your stance by praying and
is a choice – your choice. But if you have
reading the Holy Bible daily for sustenance,
properly weighed the reasons in the
power and a balanced reasoning.
balance scale and conclude that you want
Walk good.
to be on the Lord’s side, you can start
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B
alance
is
not
better
t i me
management, but better boundary
Old things have passed away and behold all thin
management. Balance means making
become new”. This conviction relates to all are
choices
or aspects of the Christian life. It seems therefo
choices."
and
Betsy
enjoying
those
Jacobson
paradoxical to say there must be a delineation a
In 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 Paul opines that
balance between Church
“a married woman has to think about her earthly
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 speaks to a time for everything
responsibilities and how to please her husband.
I believe some pastors should take responsibil
The Bible, though written many years ago, is still
for the inequity in the church life and the hom
relevant today and the principles are still apposite
life. They teach women (wives) that fasting, pra
to us no matter where we are in the spectrum of
ing and “seeking” God more will someho
life.
alleviate “natural” problems. This may be true, b
From what is seen in so many homes, there is a real
relying solely on God will not change som
need for Christian wives to separate church duties
relational or home problems. Faith without wor
from the home and marriage duties.
I am not
is dead.
redefining
principles,
I do not negate the fact that God can do all thin
however, I am convinced that God intends for both
and there is nothing impossible with Hi
to be separate.
However, if a husband complains of a dirty hou
I was “born” in the Church and have been involved
and no food his wife needs to do somethi
Church all my life.
“natural” about the problem.
Christianity
or
Bible
I am aware that Christian
wives tend to spiritualize many aspects of their lives - whether it is relational, financial or social.
God
and
home
dutie
created Adam and had fellowship w
him but said it was not good for Ada
As a Bible student and Christian woman I advocate
to be alone (animals were there too). Go
for and accept the basic tenet of Christianity found
however, gave him Eve to have a relationship wit
in 2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. 26
27
ngs
eas
When a man marries a woman, most times
ore
he does so for natural reasons. Some may
and
debate this but I do not believe a man looks A Christian wife should edify her husband.
es.
only at how much a woman prays, fasts, and She does so by her conduct at home, her
g.
speaks in tongues or any of her spiritual relationship with him and her spirituality. If
lity
attributes when he selects her for his wife. a Christian wife does not have a balance
me
He looks at her personality, physical between the Church and home, her husband
ay-
attraction (whatever he perceives that to be), my resent her spirituality and walk with God.
ow
her sexuality, her ability to keep house etc.
but
me
rks
It is
then
unfair
Christian
for
wife
Ladies anything that takes you away from a your husband, he dislikes.
When in fact,
to getting closer to God ought to make you get
become so spiritual closer to your husband. Think about it.
and “churchy� that she cannot cook, clean,
ngs
maintain her attractiveness or spend time God should be first in our lives; however, a
im.
with her husband.
use
It is important for Christian women to learn
between a woman of God and a man’s
ing
the art of marriage and learn to define the
woman.
with
am
Christian wife must have clear demarcation
role of a Christian wife. Otherwise she will be saved and spiritual but miserable and even alone.
od,
th.
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When we admire a phenomenal artistic piece, what do we focus on? When we attend a play or skit, do we critique the characters appearances; how they portray contrasting views; how they
each deterrent with your aim facing forward.
compliment each other; how the themes
Donny McClurkin sang a testimony “we fall
presented resonates in our hearts and minds?
down but then get up, for a saint is just a
When we look at a drawing, are you fascinated
sinner who fell down and got up.” What will
with the intricate details of the brush or pencil
be your testimony?
and the beauty displayed on the canvas? There
Sometimes
is a famous quote that says, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” however, when we consult the creator of the artistic pieces we are confounded by the challenges they faced in achieving such art; as “beauty” isn’t a sufficient word to describe the challenges faced in achieving their success.
It is
as mere human
beings we judge others, yet, on what premise do we judge? When we criticize men, women, boys or girls on what terms and condition are our determination. Especially as it relates to children, on what base do we place this foundation? How is right and
Helen Keller who said that
wrong defined in our household? Does it
“life
daring
vary from the laws of the land or is based on
adventure or nothing at all.” We can be on a
principles we learned from our parents or
path toward success but one instant of
grandparents? All things are based on your
misfortune may break the momentum or redirect
perspectives in life and how it is viewed.
the path. Do you then give up and give up and
There are many things that determine our
trip over those stumbling blocks? Or do you
view
create a new path or better yet, a bridge with
understand the rationale behind all acts?
is
either
a
points
but
will
everyone
ever
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The challenge that we have as a society is that we criticize our fellow men without attempting to understand the reasons for their behavior. The moment someone misbehaves they are instantly labeled without having the opportunity to be assessed thoroughly. We need to realize that there are many things that impact their behavior and overall character. An American professor, Randy Paush explained in one of his lectures stated that “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
It doesn’t matter where you are stationed in life, the terrible grades you have received, the harsh criticisms and chastisements you have encountered, the regrets and mistakes you have made in the past. Is you glass half empty or half full? You can determine to change your present circumstances if you desire greatness badly enough. All you need to do is work harder, press forward and never ever give up.
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So whoever said it would be an easy task Who hungry (for too long), have clothes, are
this mother/wife/career person thing?
said it’s a piece-a-cake? Please find them and well - mannered
and
are
learning
shoot them. Lies, all lies I tell you. Handling SOMETHING at school. one efficiently is hard enough but all three Of course, there is the husband, the man you together?
This, my friends, is a full on love, and at times want to kill, both emotions
challenge not for the weak or faint of heart.
It is
h
a
r
with equal strength, keeping him contented, d fed and happy. Hey, all of these things for
r e m a i n i n g just one person is a giant of a task and peeps focused and al- I am here to tell you, you are not always
ways giving 100% on the job, when you have going to want to be Goliath. There will be finally found your rhythm and got that cov- times - many times - when, one by one, ered, you find you are expected to keep that things fall apart right around you and you crap up and you do . Hey, you now have a think you will never be able to put the many reputation to protect, so come hell or high splintered pieces back together again. water you are gonna do it. Then there is the thankless job, I swear those sweet-looking angels can morph into monsters at the drop of a hat, of ensuring that the children don’t go
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You will think “enough already!” You will want to yell at the boss (BIIIG mistake), tape up the mouths of the kids (not one more word!) and ask the husband “Do you even know where the towels are kept?” But you don’t … as tempting as it is, you don’t. Because it gets easier.
Y
ou get better at it, really. One day you will find you’re running like that well-oiled machine. The boss
smiles his approval of your efforts and tells you
But that’s o.k. ‘cause you know you’ve got this. You know you’ll make it work. But seriously girls, if you just can’t get it together, remember get help, your mom, bestie, somebody. But not for long, because remember everybody’s got theirs.
So take a while to
breathe, but, get right back in the swing of things and handle your business. It’s a tough world but so what, you can do it, you’re tougher!
“Good job”, the children give you a juicy, slobbery kiss and squeeze accompanied by “Mom you’re the best!”
and you enter the
room and the husband looks at you like he used to way back when, then you say “Damn, I’ve got it covered!” Then in the blink of an you wake up the next day and it all falls apart again.
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You check your email as soon as you wake up, and send text messages from just about everywhere. But if you’re not taking a break every now and then, you could be hurting your effectiveness. Back in 2012 a study by the University of California, Irvine and U.S. Army researchers found that being cut off from
work
periodically
significantly reduces stress and increases
W focus.
e know you are very important and lots of people
depending
on
you and that you cannot
simply just, disconnect. But that is not really true. Maybe you cannot turn off your smart phone entirely for a week, but here are five ways you can buy some tech-free time. 1. Recruit a gatekeeper. Our gadgets are taking control. Business owners traditionally had secretaries and other gatekeepers who understood the critical
ways of running
interference with those
who could wait for prolonged periods. An assistant or trusted second-in-command can field calls while you’re working on a project that needs focus or when you simply just need a day off. If that is not an option, change your outgoing voicemail message to tell callers you’re unavailable and let them know when you’ll be available to answer their calls. And, do not forget to turn off instant messaging; yes, Whatsapp, BBM, Line etc 2. Schedule your prime time. The best time to be tech-free is the time when you are most productive or creative. Perhaps you’re sharp as a tack first thing in the morning or get your second wind at 3 p.m. Think about your most productive times and block out those windows as you would an important meeting, she says. A disconnected hour or two several times a week can make a tremendous difference in your creativity, focus and the quality of
people who had to get through and had tactful 36
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3. Use a distraction-blocking app. Even as our smart phones, tablets and laptops seek to monopolize our time, a collection of
4. Change your culture. If you’ve spent time cultivating an "always
apps has emerged to help us disconnect.
on" workplace, it’s not going to change
Anti-Social and Freedom are site blockers,
overnight. But change is
making
any
Facebook) a s
time-sucking unavailable
y o u
for
possible. Work
sites
(like
on a communication hierarchy for your
as
long
team, setting boundaries for essential
c h o o s e .
and
non-essential
contact.
iPhones running the iOS6 platform and apps
For example, if the issue is urgent, reach out
like I’m Sleeping and Ultimate Call Block of-
with both phone and text messages.
fer "do not disturb" functions, but also allow
Non-urgent issues will be communicated by
you
to
white-list
certain
people
(your
gatekeeper, spouse, or your child’s school for example) to bypass your settings and always ring through.
email with a “please respond by” time. No non-urgent messages of any kind will be sent between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. That might not be your company’s game plan, but you can set boundaries.
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The Birds Nest stadium lit up, every time Jamaican athletes grace the track at the
is talking about the achievements I want to
World
highlight and encourage the near misses and
Championship 2015. Ok, maybe it’s not so
push the athletes to dominate their event
recent but I am sure Jamaican all over the
specialty and focus less on competing. I put it to
world was excited to see how well Jamaica
you that the reason why champions are
performed. Let me pause here to say a
champions is due to their focus on dominating
heartfelt
the
an event. This domination is earned from
management, athletes, other support staff and
months of preparation. Justin Gatlin went to the
coaches for a job well done. Head Coach for
championship to compete, when he was
the team and might I add my high school
dominating his events. On the other hand, Bolt
(Calabar High) coach Mr. Michael Clarke
dominated with much help from his mental
descried the achievement, according to the
strength. That 100m was one of the near misses
Jamaica Observer as colossal.
for me.
recently
C
concluded
15th
congratulation
IAAF
to
all
oach Clarke explained that given our
How
size,
our
near miss? Note to self, and you should note
technology we are doing extremely well.
too, that had she won and all other result
However, “real real” Jamaicans, not saying he
remained constant Jamaica would have had 8
is not, would agree that we should have done
gold medals and the World Champs trophy
better. Quite frankly we should have won the
would have been at Jamaica House. Now that’s
championships. Many may say don’t go there,
another near miss.
our
resources
and
many of us believed that Elaine ‘Superwoman’ Thompson had a
but yes I am going there. Since everyone else
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In 2009, I trained with Danielle Williams when she was at The Queens School and I was a university student. This is so because at that time
As we rap up this next close encounter is my
the head coach for The Queens School was the
favorite moment of the 15th IAAF World
same coach for The University of the West Indies
Championship 2014 our Jamaican 4x400m
Mona. As you already know Danielle stunned the world by winning the 100mh event by dominating her event rather than competing, well done
and
author
Lisa
Lawrence
https://
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhGgf-cYNhw
Danielle, ‘swishh’ that was close.
It was
race for women. I want to start off with poet
b i t
who actual predicted this historic win. I
disappointing
learnt about Lisa from listening to Roots
to see Kemoy
96.1FM, she writes about our country and
a
Campbell fall in the 5000m. The
Jamaican
wonder boy for the longer distances has a strong dominating spirit and would have been trouble for the favorites Ethiopia’s Hagos Gebrhiwet and Mohamed Farrah another near miss. Big up Belle-
our people. The 4x4 girls really sealed the championship reflecting even our best placed finish ahead of the USA. Live positive and shine big up yourself until next time.
field High School.
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Big dinners, noisy kitchens and TV rooms, summer nights of camping out on the floor, impromptu houseguests, emergency family meetings that lasts and lasts, ageless sibling rivalry, and unwavering family bonds, these
W
ell I would like to get married. Why? I respect the whole institution of marriage; even if
sometimes as a liberated, independent, single,
are a few of my favorite things. I am from a
young and educated Christian female, I witness
very diverse yet extremely close and involved
some exchanges within the marriages I am
brood, especially via my maternal relatives.
around that really rub me wrongly. But I believe
They are always around and or they are never
a marriage is the first step in starting my branch
far
from
on my already elaborate family tree. I hope I get
christenings to funerals, and get insanely
the chance to be the main person in someone’s
excited in a nanosecond. They are uniquely
life who genuinely desires to understand and
supportive and equally involved in every
experience the levels on which love takes
ounce of each other’s lives that they can get a
people who give into it with every ounce of
hold on.
their beings. I want to care and be cared for,
away.
They
There
plan
everything
are no secrets too well hidden in this flock. So
in terms of people, I have grown to like to have them around, and I have learnt to take
love and be loved, want and be wanted, support and
be
supported,
understand
and
be
understood, trust and be trusted, respect and in turn, be respected. I want to get married.
the good with the bad. It also became clear to
Do I know what I am asking for? What is this
me that I have to hurdle over the flaws in
marriage that I am so interested in graduating
persons I want to have around, and in the
to? Is it finding a soul mate, or doing a raffle for
folks I love. So would I get married? Why
a partner, or just accepting an offer?
would I get married? Yes, I would get married. 46
47
Is marriage just another step up the ladder?
gravity, for all the falls of this life. Love can be
Personally I do not think there is any one
unexplainable, if you don’t know yourself. But
person for any one person initially, but based
once we know what relaxes or excites us, what
on who you are, persons can find their one
makes us happy or furious, what makes us
person in each other and you both can make
cringe or lull, and what makes us proud, we will
the conscious decision to love each other
start to figure out, what type of people will
without condition and to be with each other
attract us. Marriage should be a spiritual bond
regardless of what life distributes and to be
between two souls that love each other, where
each other’s towers of strength and voices of
even if neither individual can completely fathom
reason until your last days. For me, an
the reasons they became so entwined, the fact
arrangement as such is an amalgamation of
should be, where they are, there they are.
two minds, bodies and souls, and that is what
Everything has an explanation, whether we
a marriage should be. To be with someone
know the answer or not. I have grown to know
who I can daily discover more of is why I
myself, and I know I would love to get married.
would get married.
When you are a child, you don’t know these
One
day, the genius Albert Einstein
things, but this is why they say, “older and
said,
not
wiser”, because every day in this journey around
responsible for people falling in love.” As a
the sun is another series of opportunities to
scientist, I have a pretty good idea of how
explore the person we are and figure out what
many forces of nature and pushes and pulls
makes each of us tick.
“Gravitation
is
are blamed on gravity. Sometimes I have to wonder which gets more blame, the devil or 47
48
Life is like building a bridge, there is planning
want to represent the man who will represent me
and investigative work even before we gather
well. It’s a work in progress but that is all part of
the materials for the construction. Same is
life. The same Bible also teaches that every wife
every stage we go through. When you are in
should be devoted to her husband as the church
one school but want to move on further, you
is expected to be unto God. The weight of these
find a school that is convenient either to your
words is not at times even recognized
needs or your wants or your situation and you
furthermore understood. The church is expected
take it from there. When you get to the
to do as the Lord commands always, and trust in
psychological stage where you can safely say,
the Lord with all her heart. So many of us
I want to be married, then the rest is figuring
women won’t even trust these men to give a
out why, how, to who and by when. Sure it is
friend a ride home, so trust and devotion is at an
not as simple as the snap of fingers for some,
all-time low. For the average woman, and by
but just that conscious awareness starts the
extension, who has never before been married,
wheels to turn, so dare I say, wedding bells are
but may have had experience with partners of a
ringing.
certain mentality, my advice is to trust God first
T
to help you to first get that spouse and secondly he Bible teaches of a man leaving
to trust that person too.
his parents and taking a wife unto
It is in these same scriptures that also command
himself, with whom he becomes one. No
a man to love his wife as God loves the church,
longer is she just a woman, but the wife of this
and to love his spouse as his own body. Now
man. Am I too liberated to be identified as the
here is why men need to know in intimate
wife of Mr. Husband? No. I most definitely
details, the Creator of heaven and earth.
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How can you follow a commandment you don’t have the full details to? You most certainly cannot. Let me try to introduce you
should never let his wife feel less than the most
all to the Lord. He created the world out of
important person in his world. Just as we can’t
nothing, and worked tirelessly to build it.
consciously hate or hurt ourselves, we should
Therefore
be
likewise treat the one we each marry as part of
hardworking, imaginative and diligent. God
our bodies, bone of bone and flesh of flesh. And
also sent His only Son to die for His people.
like the body, the love you discover for each
So I believe a husbandman will not be selfish
other needs constant tending to, as a precious
but be willing to make sacrifices for the
garden and constant nurturing like a newborn
woman he loves and the family they create.
child, and constant attention like a rose. So that
He will never hate her, he will try to
is what I desire, to be an expression of a man’s
understand her mistakes, and he will provide
love, to be the reflection of his light, to be his
support even when she doesn’t realize she
status, his highest office, his biggest promotion.
needs it. And just like his own body, he will
So any day I meet that one who makes me want
treat her and hers with all the care he can
to stop being so selfish with myself and com-
harness.
pletely share me with him, best believe, I may
a
Love
husbandman
should
is patient and kind and some other beautiful things, and
married people should love each other. We should love the one we marry as we love our own selves. Therefore a husband should not have to worry that his wife won’t be doting and supportive and true, and a
be just about married. “ Every heart sings a song,
incomplete until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.” -Plato
husband 49
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We
The life of a single parent can be a very challenging one at times. From waking a child at 5:30 a.m. to preparing that child for school,
will
share
the
dreams we had, whether
it
was
going to an eight hour job for five days a week, “the most horrible nightmare ever!” or “the church commitments 4 – 5 days per week, run- most beautiful dream I ever had – I didn’t want ning errands and just…..living! Where does one to wake up!” get an opportunity to strike the balance?
But despite, this is our first
bonding experience for the morning or start of
For me, a 30 year old single parent, my daughter day. takes priority in my life; to me, she is what is We then both get dressed for school and work important and every opportunity I get to spend respectively and I drop her off at school; during with her, I make every use and enjoy every all of this we share deep and intimate moment of it.
My devotion,
conversation making our relationship an even typical day starts at about stronger one. That for me along with my 5:00a.m.. It begins with an commune with the Lord starts my day on the half of an hour of spiritual right footing. It is ideal to have a purely honest
after which it is time to prepare and solid relationship with your child, despite
breakfast; which is more than often mentally the nature of the conversations. prepared overnight. Once breakfast is ready and As a Christian believer, I live by the notion that I have my daughter sit before her meal, that’s the family is the most important building block where our mother-daughter time begins
to human society, and as such, it should be nurtured and protected. The Bible has a more communal sense of people and family than is generally held in cultures today.
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During my work day, I will make a quick phone call to home to make sure she is home and to that
In other words, his family was saved (Genesis
she understands that her homework should be done.
6:18). When God called Abraham out of
Please note that this is before I get home along with
Haran, He called him and his family (Genesis
her school shoes being
polished for school the
12:4-5). The sign of the Abrahamic covenant,
following day, having control of her even when I
circumcision, was to be applied to all males
am not in her presence is vital for fully adherence
within one's household, whether they were
and conformity in the long run.
born into the family or are part of the
After a long,
sometimes hectic day at work, I then have to
household servant staff (Genesis 17:12-13).
F
With those references, I understand that while
prepare for my spiritual commitments at church. rom Monday night prayer meetings
working in the field of souls is very
and Women’s Fellowship Meetings to
Important, it is equally important that the
Tuesday night’s General Choir
physical man, which includes his family, be
Rehearsal to Wednesday night’s Bible
taken care of. As such, I usually choose for
study to Thursday night’s Youth choir rehearsal
each week of activities the meeting that is
and sometimes, Friday nights Youth Ministries
least important; at the time, and as a result it
meeting. By the time I leave church, my daughter
would allow me an ‘evening off’ from church.
would already be in her bed by the latest 8:00 p.m.
The church that I attend is also very big on
Now where do I strike the balance
family, and they usually schedule family
between the
church and family time?
events in their programs which include
When God saved Noah from the flood, it wasn't an
“Family night” which is every (4th) fourth
individual case salvation, but a salvation for him,
Sunday evening of each month.
his wife, his sons and his sons’ wives.
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each week of activities the meeting that is
M
least important; at the time, and as a result it
negotiation skills and money management
would allow me an ‘evening off’ from
skills, to just going out and spending time
church. The church that I attend is also very
with each other at the zoo or the restaurant,
big on family, and they usually schedule
spending the day at a friend’s or family’s
family events in their programs which in-
house, or just attending church on a Sunday.
clude “Family night” which is every (4th)
So after the running up and down in my day,
fourth Sunday evening of each month.
when I lay my head on my pillow and I take
On
these Sundays, church will not
stock of my day, once my daughter is happy I
be held so as to facilitate
had a good day.
With those references, I understand that while working in the field of souls is very important, it is equally important that the physical man, which includes his family, be taken care of. As such, I usually choose for
market
and
y
weekends
are
scheduled to include my daughter; From
naturally.
going
supermarket,
to
the
teaching
her
families spending quality time with each
No matter how tight my schedule is family/
other; now isn’t this a wonderful opportunity
spending time with my daughter for me is
to throw away all gadgets and electronic
what is important and this should also be
devices so that one can just laugh and “chat”
your priority with your child.
with your family members.
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I
nspiration is defined as having an
infusion of ideas into one’s mind. Ideas that will assist the individual to act in such a way as to do that
which he would not normally do and that which will benefit himself and others. Inspiring your best starts with you taking steps to unlock your true potential. By using the tools and information around you, you can ensure that your best is what is presented which in turn enhances the quality of your
Have faith
‘Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen’1. Believe that with God’s help you can achieve what you set out to do. Not everything requires a finite plan. You will not always be certain of the next move but start by taking the first step and trust that, with faith, things will fall into place. ‘Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the staircase’ – Martin Lu-
life.
ther King Jr.
Here are five tips you can use to ensure that you always inspire your best:-
Be a volunteer
Whether it is participating in church programs, mentoring, community events or
Be honest in your dealings
charity events, volunteerism keeps your
Allow equity and truth to rule all that you
mind
actively and positively engaged.
do. Sometimes the truth hurts but it is al-
Your life should not only be about
ways better in the end. Knowing you
working towards your personal success
acted justly is a huge confidence booster.
but about helping others to attain their
Additionally, true success comes through
potential without seeking a reward or
honest work. Remember ‘honor lies in
recognition. Volunteering refreshes and
honest toil’ – Grover Cleveland
enhances your outlook on life positively. 54
55
Take care of your physical health
Aim high
‘Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you
It is no cliché that a healthy body makes
will
a healthy mind. When you exercise, eat
Emerson. There is a saying that you
right, drink sufficient amounts of
should always aim for the stars so that
water and get plenty of rest, you will
in case you fall, you will fall on the
most certainly feel refreshed and
clouds. This rings true for your goals
energized to take on life’s challenges
and aspirations. Always aim higher
but inspired to exploit your potential.
than what you think you can do. This
never
grow’-
Ralph
Waldo
forms part of growing positively as a human being. You will also have a purpose and value. 55
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