TAKING A LEAP
OF FAITH
HOW DO YOU KEEP THE FAITH? YOGA IS A
PRAYER 34 WAYS TO
CONNECT WITH GOD
ONE DAY AT A TIME
BELIEVING
FOR 2021 JOURNEY TO PURPOSE AND PASSION
CONNECT WHERE IS YOUR FAITH?
FOUNDER & PRESIDENT
CONTRIBUTORS
Imani Monica McCullough
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Kellyn McGee
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Sherri Lewis Tanya Poindexter All content in Connect is for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be advice or counseling. Always seek professional help in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your health or the health of others. Š You Are Not Alone 2020 www.yanasisters.com For requests or questions, email Imani@yanasisters.com.
Connection Coach, Speaker, Retreat Facilitator, Author, and Attorney Imani Monica McCullough is a vibrant voice for women worldwide. Through her transformative platform, YANAsisters, she thrives on helping women live more passionate and authentic lives. Kellyn McGee is a licensed attorney and mediator, a former law professor and Dean of Students, a writer and editor, and a certified yoga teacher. At her essence, she is a learner and teacher. Sherri Lewis MD is the national bestselling author of several Christian fiction titles including My Soul Cries Out. After graduating from Howard University and the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, Sherri practiced medicine for 15 years, then left to pursue full time ministry and writing. Tanya Poindexter is a dynamic leader with more than 18 years of Human Resources, Talent Management, Leadership Development and OD experience. She is also an executive coach and consultant, focusing on leadership development.
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IN THIS ISSUE
Welcome by Kellyn McGee
Letter from the Founder by Imani
One Day At A Time by Tanya Hunte Poindexter
34 Ways to Connect with God through Music
A Leap of Faith by Sherri Lewis
Yoga is a Prayer by Kellyn McGee
What is YANAsisters?
Why I Don’t Go To Church by Imani
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Welcome to the inaugural issue of
CONNECT!
I am excited that we are offering a space that celebrates and unites all of who we are. Through CONNECT we will bring you interpersonal stories from sisters throughout the world on themes that resonate with us most. This issue invites you to consider the variety of ways we connect with God. Smile and cry with Tanya as she describes her emotional talks with God throughout her heartexpanding love story. Travel with Sherri on her intercontinental journey, trusting God to move her to Africa to fulfill her mission of serving Him through founding a school. Then, reflect on the question: “How do you connect with God?� as you listen to the inspirational playlist compiled by our sisters. I hope you enjoy this issue as much as we enjoyed preparing it. I look forward to hearing from you and to sharing future issues with you.
Kellyn McGee Editor-In-Chief
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LETTER FROM
THE FOUNDER by Imani
To my beautiful YANAsisters, When I tell people I sometimes struggle to connect with others, they often gasp in disbelief. “You, the founder of a women’s group with over 20,000 members? No way!”
But my “little” knows I just learned to mask my shyness. To wear a smile when my heart is doing flip-flops. To speak up even when I want to sit down. And, ultimately to turn what I always thought of as a weakness into my greatest strength.
Then I tell them the story of the little girl who was afraid she didn’t fit in. The girl who liked rocks more then Barbie dolls, who didn’t know how to double (or single) Dutch, who never learned how to play spades, and who was deathly afraid to speak in front of a crowd (and even more afraid to talk one-on-one).
I still struggle sometimes connecting to other women. Being vulnerable. Sharing my authentic truths without fear of rejection. Showing just how imperfect I really am.
People think I learned to be fearless and secure; to boldly share myself with others.
We all want to be accepted, understood, valued -- and ultimately, loved.
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But I have a new secret weapon: I now know that EVERYONE else has those same fears too.
We all want to know that no matter how “weird” we may be, there is someone else who is just as weird, or at least who thinks our version of weird is OK. We all want to connect to ourselves, something greater than ourselves, and to a special someone or two (or three). That’s what YANA is all about. And that’s what CONNECT is here to remind us of. So I invite you to hear from our Editorin-Chief, Kellyn McGee; as well as two of our other yanasisters who bravely share their stories of what it means to CONNECT to God and to find their faith – sometimes in the unlikeliest of places. I hope you love this as much as I have. In sisterly love,
Imani
Founder of YANAsisters P.S. We are creating new ways to connect during this season, so make sure you’ve signed up on yanasisters.com so you won’t miss out!
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One Day at
a Time by Tanya Hunte Poindexter
APRIL 2017 Seven weeks ago, the love of my life was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The initial diagnosis, two hospital stays, an intense surgery (the “Whipple”) and his 50 lb. weight loss rocked me to the core -- and caused an almost crippling stream of divergent thoughts: Resentful: God is angry at me — He’s flexing his power to show me that he can take every and anything away from me Fearful: This is one of the deadliest cancers in existence. I’m going to lose Darin. I’m not ready to lose him. I don’t know how I can live without him. Selfish: My life is over; it’s all about taking care of him now. Grateful: How blessed I am to have loved (and been loved) this much. Bitter: Nothing beautiful ever lasts. Angry: How the f#$* could God do this to me - almost a year to the day of my sister’s death. Rebellious: F#$* cancer. I will - WE WILL - find a way to thrive through this situation. Denial: This can’t be happening, they made a mistake. Imploring: Help me take away his pain. Give me the desire and skill to cook organic wholesome food every day for the rest of our lives. Existential: Who am I without this man? Where do we go when we die? Practical: Thank God for great healthcare, but this is still unbelievably expensive. Intercessory: Lord, heal him. Please take away his pain. His fear.
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But God. I’m learning to manage through the darkness of my thoughts. It’s a spiritual journey (still underway) that connects biblical, psychological and scriptural truths I’ve learned over time, but never had to apply. I share it in the spirit of YANA, since I need to share it somewhere, and I know now that I am not alone. The bible says: “As a man thinketh, so is he.” Positive psychology exploded this concept —encouraging us to use our thoughts to create the outcomes we want in life. Some churches even got into the act - telling us that our faith would manifest our healing, our new car and our perfect mate. I didn’t think I bought into this, but in my darkest moments, I was not only afraid I would lose him, I was afraid my thoughts would manifest the very thing(s) I was afraid of. This led to an insanely painful spiral of trying to force myself to think positive (or “have faith”), and feeling guilty when I couldn’t make my fear and negativity go away. It was a dark time. But God brought me to myself by reminding me of something I learned long ago: having faith in “faith” (or in “positive thinking”) is about believing in your own ability. It’s not the same as turning something over to God. Remembering this helped me start to breathe; and breathing gave way to another reminder: You. Are. Not. Your. Thoughts. This came from “The Power of Now” which explained we are spiritual beings, capable of observing, ignoring and even changing the way we think. The question, of course, is: how? Enter meditation — the practice of laying aside your thoughts so you can listen to the spirit within you. And as you know, letting go of something, gives God room to show up!
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Since God knows I love a good #BOTHAND, he reminded me of the scripture that says “be angry and sin not,” which means that angry thoughts don’t have to turn into “sin.” There has to be some space between the time we have a thought, and when the thoughts we have manifest. As I thought about this space, God reminded me of something I read in “Conversations with God,” which said thoughts are creative, words are productive, and BOTH are required to give birth to reality. (Death and life are in the power of the tongue, huh, God? Yeah, I see you!) Then he hit me with Luke 11:24-26 — reminding me that all of this good learning was nice, but unless I found a way to put God into the clean space I’d created, I was going to wind up worse than I was in the beginning. So, God rounded out this phase of teaching with Philippians 4:8-9 — “…whatsoever things are honest, …whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report… think on these things. ... practice them and God’s peace will be with you.” So these, ladies, are my current #bothand truths: Darin has pancreatic cancer and he will need chemo. It is possible for this combination to be curative (what’s honest). We love one another, and we remain committed to our relationship and the life we’ve worked so hard to create (what’s lovely). They got all the cancer during surgery (what’s of good report). We have been blessed with an amazing support system, including you, YANAsisters, as I need a safe space to share and receive all of this (what’s praiseworthy).
FEBRUARY 2020 It’s been almost 3 years since his diagnosis, and the experience still seems surreal. This isn’t to say I’m not grateful. Three years ago he was dying. This year we are celebrating a year of marriage and still acting like newlyweds!
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There are days when I hardly remember the fear. But on the days that we await the quarterly results of his scans, it all comes flooding back. The strange “routineness” of chemotherapy. The ghastly smiles and smells of the cancer ward. The a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e inability to fix or help or heal. I remember the struggle to live amidst his potential death. The audacity of my own ambitions. The isolation amidst a sea of love. The inability to connect to the husbands and wives of cancer patients as we all seem to experience our own unique brand of pain. The fear of walking out with different news still so near. It’s hard to live your life by quarter. I want to walk in gratitude. Get closer to God. Develop a spiritual practice. I want to seize the moment and be present and give up fear and enjoy the moments and all that sh$$. I want to continue to grow as a person and maintain a sense of identity as I am more than just the former-girlfriend-former-fiancée-new-wife of.... anyone! Jesus. I know all the right answers! I know a lot of things. But too often I’m like the man in James 1:23 -24, who knows who he is when he looks in the mirror, but when he walks away, he forgets the type of man he is. Sigh..... It’s one day at a time.
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34 Ways to Connect With God Through Music
We asked YANAsisters in our private Facebook Group to share songs that keep them inspired, and the playlist we co-created is phenomenal! Search for “YANA Inspired” on Spotify so you can be inspired too. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17.
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For Every Mountain (Kurt Carr) Be Grateful (Walter Hawkins) I Gotta Believe (Yolanda Adams) I Won’t Complain (Rev. Paul James) Still Say Thank you (Smokie Norful) I’ll Trust You Lord (Donnie McClurkin) All Things Are Working (Fred Hammond) You Know My Name (Tasha Cobbs Leonard) I Love The Lord (Whitney Houston) Confidence (Tasha Cobbs Leonard) I Want God (Maurette Brown Clark) Retrograde (James Blake) Safe In His Arms (Avery Sunshine) Girl on Fire (Alicia Keys) Made A Way (Travis Greene) Take My Hand Precious Lord (Mahalia Jackson) How Deeply I Need You (Shekinah Glory Ministry)
18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34.
Peace Be Still (Vaness Bell Armstrong) My Testimony (Marvin Sapp) Let Go (DeWayne Woods) I Am (James Fortune) Won’t He Do It (Koryn Hawthorne) Unstoppable (Koryn Hawthorne) I Didn’t Know My Own Strength (Whitney Houston) You Are God (Darwin Hobbs) Good Woman (La’Porsha Renae) I Made It (Fantasie, Tye Tribbett) Love Him Like I Do (Detrick Haddon) Grateful (Hezekiah Walker) You Will Win (Jekalyn Carr) Hallelujah Here Below (Elevation Worship) Deliver Me (Donald Lawrence) Extratrorindary Being (Emeli Sande) Big Enough (Ayiesha Woods)
A Leap of by Sherri Lewis
Faith
I always wanted to live more than the “normal Christian life,” but when God told me to quit my job as a family physician to launch a ministry in Africa - leaving six figures to live on donations - it required a huge leap of faith. I was dissatisfied with the life I was living, so I took a deep breath, grabbed His hand and jumped! My life has been an amazing faith adventure ever since. The first time my feet touched ground on African soil in July 2009, my life was changed forever. My personality, my worldview, and the trajectory of my destiny made a drastic shift when I entered the tiny town of Buea (Cameroon, West Africa). I was welcomed into my host’s home with singing – full four-part harmony – from the youth group that had invited me to come minister. That’s what Africans do – they sing and dance their welcomes and celebrations, their deaths and their pain. They feed you a full table full of food, even if they can’t really afford
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to. They honor you as a mother and elder in ways you’d never experience in the West. I fell in love with the people, the culture, the dance and music, the food – EVERYTHING about it. Cameroon completely stole my heart! A few months later, I was on a plane to visit again. I was in ministry school at the time and “decided” (long story on what “deciding” with God looks like) to launch a ministry school similar to the one I was graduating from. In July 2010, after giving away or loading most of my earthly possessions on a ship, I set out to start life in Africa. Looking back on the unfolding of the whole story, it seems insane! But I think following God dreams requires a small dose of insanity. From that point, my life took on a “magical” or supernatural quality I call the God Zone – that space where all of heaven backs you to make all your dreams and plans manifest with incredible, mind-blowing, miracles along the way. It’s that space where you’re listening to God’s heartbeat and living out its rhythms, fully assured you can’t fail because He’s with you. I could write a whole book about how incredible this experience has been (in fact, I have – it’s called the God Zone). We launched Bethel Atlanta School of Supernatural Ministry Cameroon in September of 2010. Since then, we’ve graduated several classes of beautifully
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transformed, young African leaders in our full-time school and more in our summer Kingdom Leadership Academy. It’s been incredible, but also hard. One of the greatest challenges was coming up against religious legalism and a church structure that almost worships the “man of God.” My belief system that God is a loving Father who desires relationship with His children, and that every Christian is powerful and can and should know God for him or herself was refreshing and desired for some, and repulsive and threatening to others. I had to be strongly rooted in my convictions to build in a different religious culture.
Honestly, there were times I wanted to quit, but I didn’t have a life to go back to. And somewhere deep down inside, I believed God’s promises that I could change the future of a continent ravished by poverty, religion, and post-colonialism. In 2016, when the ministry in Cameroon was at its height, God told me it was time to expand to Kenya. We launched our Kingdom Leadership Academy in Nairobi in 2017 and graduated nineteen students, then graduated fifty-one students in September 2018 and more in 2019! The morning after the 2018 graduation, I woke up believing God and I could fulfill all our dreams for raising powerful, young leaders in many African nations. In the few months after, I traveled to South Africa, Botswana, Togo and Nigeria to develop relationships on which to build future schools. I’ve also traveled to Zambia and Ghana and dream of building in those countries as well. My life is more amazing than I could have ever dreamed. There have been losses, heartbreak and difficulties, but I wouldn’t trade this journey for anything. Living a life of faith is an exhilarating adventure. But it’s also scary. Faith for big things that don’t make sense is super scary. Even all of these years later, I still sometimes wake up worried about finances. I worried about making wrong choices in this season of expansion. I worried about letting go of the work in
Cameroon to expand to other countries, wondering if it would thrive without me? There have been times when I’ve questioned everything. I still remember visiting a cousin in her new home in the U.S. It was huge and stylishly decorated – exactly what I would have if I’d continued my career as a doctor. She and her husband and two beautiful children seemed to have the perfect life. My heart ached that whole visit. That was one time I truly felt the sacrifice of the decision I’ve made and the life I’ve chosen. But most of the time, I live with a full heart – grateful to live a life full of meaning and impact. Every time I get feedback on how my life has transformed someone else’s, it makes it all worth it. I have “children” in Cameroon, Kenya, Nigeria, South Africa and soon to be more countries in Africa. I know God more than I could have ever known Him living as a doctor in America. I’ve learned to live in desperate dependence on Him and I long to become more and more childlike in my trust in His goodness. Intimacy has been the greatest key. I’ve learned to live listening to His heart’s whispers. My challenge to you? Develop an intimate relationship with God and learn to hear His voice. Seek Him for your purpose and destiny and when He speaks, take that huge leap of faith into your own God Zone. I promise you, it’s the best life you could ever live!
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YOGA IS A PRAYER by Kellyn McGee
Yoga is a prayer. Usually silent and sometimes tear-filled (from joy or hurt), my personal practice of the asanas (poses) is a spiritual dialogue. Sometimes my prayers off the mat are short and sweet. Sometimes, long and messy. Sometimes they are nothing but expressions of gratitude. Sometimes they are full of “I want, I want, I want.” Sometimes they are offerings for the hopes, desires, dreams, pleas of others – my family, my friends, the world.
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On my mat, the same. A practice could be ten minutes or an hour and ten. On a given day I could have a specific sequence of poses in mind and I flow easily into each one. Other times all that I wanted to do and be on the mat becomes a blur and I just succumb to whatever poses come my way. Some practices, I’m all in. Others, I’m completely distracted. Just like my conversations with God.
Sometimes, when I make a concerted effort to focus on my breath during my practice, every inhale and exhale is God hearing me, speaking to me, guiding me. But, same as my off-the-mat walk with Him, I don’t always listen or even say what I really want to. Those are the times I can get frustrated that I can’t get into a pose I “usually” ease into. But when the focus is just on the breath, the prana (life force, energy), everything is easier and my body “knows” that some poses aren’t meant for that particular practice, they don’t even enter my mind. He’s guiding me where I should go, not just where I want to. And my focus is on listening not looking toward pose-achievement. Some friends and I share an inside joke that goes not much further than “God, you know.” The origin and meaning of the joke is a longer story, but the moral is this: sometimes the only prayer you can plea is a “God, you know.” You know what I want, what I need, what I’m asking for, what I can’t put into words. And there are days my practice is just that. Sometimes I get on my mat with every intention to do at least a couple rounds of sun salutations. I’ll start in child’s pose. And I stay there. My practice that day, that moment, is wholly in this restful, grounding, hug of a pose. It’s all I can offer, all I can receive. God, you know.
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WHAT IS
YANASISTERS? YANASISTERS is an intergenerational wisdom circle for women—like you. We’ve created
this safe space, this spiritual space, to celebrate our womanhood. Here, with us, you will find healing. You will find happiness. You will find hope. And most importantly, you will find a new you.
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Connection is the essence of our community. Whether through our intimate online group, coaching programs, local meetups or one of our transformative destination retreats, we are here to support you in this season of your awakening. We share our stories, our pasts and our pain—lovingly and openly—to show one another that we are more alike than we are different. We defy the notion that differences divide us. We are women who are all shapes, sizes, skin tones and swag. But our spirits—our souls—are every bit the same. And we only have one rule. Leave all judgment at the door. You arrived here today, not by coincidence, but because you know existing isn’t enough. We believe that too, and we want to support you to manifest something meaningful in your life— whether that something is more joy, more freedom, more confidence and self-love, a more fulfilling profession or a better relationship. YANA is as much about recovery as it discovery. As you exhale your pain and inhale your passion and purpose, you will find you can do—and be—anything. But first, Superwoman, you must take off the cape. When you need love, we’re here. When you need an embrace for your body or your soul, we’re here. When you need the freedom to explore those hidden, but treasured, parts of yourself, we’re here. When you need to free yourself to be yourself, we’re here. We, your sisters, welcome you with warm, open arms.
Because you are not alone.
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WHY I DON’T GO TO
CHURCH
by Imani
When I tell people I don’t always go to church, I’m usually given the look. The one that combines pity, because they fear for the future of my soul -- with confusion, because as a Black woman, especially one who lives in the South, church is the rule not the exception. When I tell those same people that I am the granddaughter of a pastor, and have more ministers in my family than not, those same looks turn to disdain. After all, I know what’s “right,” and have no excuse not to do “better.” And, just when they are about to condemn me to hell and damnation, I explain that I have the utmost respect for the institution and even moreso for God, I just don’t believe my church is limited to the four walls. You see, I was one of those people who was in church more days than not – from Sunday School to midweek service and choir rehearsal and back again. I was an usher, a faithful soprano in the choir, a Bible school teacher, and I did the church announcements. I could quote scriptures for any and everything, recite the books of the Bible on command, and even knew to start my church comments with “Giving honor to God, the Pastor and members of the pulpit . . . .” In other words, I got an A plus in church participation, yet I didn’t really know God.
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Until one Saturday morning about 13 years ago when I was going through a particularly bad time. My husband was ill, my marriage was crumbling, and I was struggling to keep it all together. I got down on my knees to pray, convinced that I couldn’t get back up again. And in my delirious state, I cried out to God, telling him I couldn’t take the pain. For the first time in my life, I had a real, heart-to-heart conversation with him, telling him how angry I was for the turn my life had taken, how alone I felt, and how I just couldn’t do it anymore. That day I felt God’s presence in a way I never had before -- in a way that I was ashamed to admit I never had in all my years of going to church. God didn’t change my circumstances, but he changed me in my circumstances. He reminded me that I wasn’t, and would never be, alone. After that day, something shifted. I stopped going to church to check it off my to-do list. I stopped doing what I thought I was supposed to do, and instead started doing what Spirit led me to do, which doesn’t always land me in a traditional church. I stopped looking for church to be the easy way to tithe, and instead started looking for ways to give, each and every day. Not just a tenth, but as much as God tells me to. I stopped waiting for Sunday service to talk about who God is and what he means to me. Instead, I share my path with as many as I can, and I hope that my light will cause those in church to make sure that it’s more about relationship than about routine; and those out of church will be reminded that God can meet them right where they are. I stopped waiting for a preacher to lead me in praise and worship, and instead have my own little services at what some might consider to be the oddest of times. As I make it to the end of my morning run, and I realize that but for the grace of God, I would not have made it. When the ocean kisses my toes, as I bask in the hues of a beautiful sunset, and I recognize that I am witnessing one of God’s greatest creations. When I wake up in the morning “in my right mind” (as my grandmother used to say) and with breath in my body, knowing that I have witnessed one of God’s greatest miracles. No, when I tell people I don’t go to church, they don’t always understand. But, sometimes after I’ve explained that church for me begins in my heart and not in a building, sometimes they cut me just a little bit of slack.
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