My Ship Has Come Dreams don’t die
Stronger
Spring 2023
My Ship Has Come Dreams don’t die
Stronger
Spring 2023
Connection Coach, Speaker, Retreat Facilitator, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master, Sound Healer, Author, and Attorney
Imani Monica McCullough is a vibrant voice for women worldwide. Through her transformative platform, YANAsisters, she thrives on helping women live more passionate and authentic lives.
After sitting for the National Boards to become a nurse practitioner at the young age of 60, Allyson Blue went on to become the owner of her own Primary Care Practice. When not working, Allyson loves traveling the world, spending time with her family and inspiring others.
A native of Atlanta, Audrena Cassandra Howell enjoys spending time with her two adult children and five grandchildren. She also enjoys acting, being one of the Lyngale Agency’s Ageless Beauty models, volunteering with local nonprofits such as “Good Day, Good Deeds,” writing, reading, attending concerts, dancing and motivating others to live their best lives.
Felicia C. Lewis is the mother of a teenage son, “fur mom” of two cats, and most recently fiancé to the man of her dreams. She is also an author, photographer, and Registered Nurse. Her book, “Dark Girls Like to Dance Too,” promotes loving oneself while living a full life of purpose and passion.
Daughter, Wife, Fitness Goddess, Marathoner, Ironman Competitor, Author, Hawaii Aficionado, Minimalist… all words that have been used to describe Kinaya Ulbrich. But the most challenging (and fulfilling) description of all? Mom!
Lawyer, Mediator. Law Professor, Yoga Teacher. Meditator, Writer, Listener. At her essence, Kellyn O. McGee is a learner and a teacher.
Tyra Johnson was born and raised in Colorado Springs and has always been close to her family, including her mother and grandmother as the family’s strong, praying matriarchs. She has been married to her husband, David, for 34 years and they have 2 children, Latisha and Dante’ (deceased).
Ever give up on a dream, then have it find its way back to you? Our sister Kinaya recounts her dream of becoming a mother – one that she didn’t fully realize until she was in her 50s.
Spoiler Alert: pictures of her 3 beautiful boys will leave you smiling and thankful that dreams can come true.
If the world as you knew it fell apart, would you have the strength to keep fighting? Our sister Allyson tells how, after surviving domestic abuse and spousal abandonment, she reclaimed her life and dreams – later obtaining undergraduate and graduate degrees, traveling the world, and learning about self-love in her 60s.
Sometimes the road to love is straight, and sometimes it has many twists and turns. Hear Felicia’s beautiful story of being proposed to by a man she went on a date with 26 years earlier.
13, 16, 20, 24, 28
NEVER GIVE UP SPECIAL
Our sister Audrena shares how after dabbling in modeling and acting in college, she was led her back to this passion more than 18 years later! And the dream lives on as she continues to do what she loves...
Determination, grit and perseverance: that’s what it took to return to school after first prioritizing marriage and motherhood – finally reaching her dream of a graduate degree that was 20 years in the making.
I’m glad I never gave up on...
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IN EVERY ISSUE
Founder’s Letter
Yoga Is A Prayer
25 What is YANAsisters?
YANA Playlist 30
I started writing my first book when I was about 11. It was probably only a few pages, but I remember so clearly that it was all about the ways that parents don’t understand (long before Fresh Prince – lol). Even at that young age, I knew I wanted to be a writer.
In high school, I was on the yearbook and newspaper staff, always journaling and always writing whenever and however I could. I religiously read Essence and wondered what it would be like to write an In the Spirit column like my shero, Susan Taylor. I loved everything about her energy and writing style, and I hoped one day I could be like her. So naturally, when I went to the University of Texas, I majored in journalism. It was the one major that looked interesting to me, and the thing that came most naturally.
But sometimes funny things happen when a dream is put to the test. For me, it came in the form of the modest $21,000 salary that I was offered from my first job out of school. And the test continued as I told my then-boyfriend that I wanted to move to New York to become an editor. I think he actually laughed and said something that made me question whether writing was a “real” job (as compared to his engineering focus).
So, I set out to prove something to him, the world, and I guess myself – as I applied to Howard’s law school. I told myself that it was the right thing to do because it would put my writing skills to work in a “useful” way. And with any luck, my starting salary would be more than $21,000. (lol)
Now don’t get me wrong . . . I’m so glad I went to law school because it, too, came natural to me, and Howard shaped my future in a way that I could never have imagined. But dreams – the ones that are really for you –have a way of not being denied. Which is why 10 years after graduating from law school, while working grueling hours at a demanding law firm, I found myself waking up at 5 AM to write. My dream literally would not let me sleep. In fact, it didn’t stop until I’d published not one, but three books (hopefully with more to come). And it didn’t stop until we created CONNECT, where I have the pleasure of writing my own In the Spirit in each issue. I don’t get to be Susan Taylor 2.0 - I get to be Imani, the first and last, which is fabulous.
My journey taught me that some dreams don’t manifest the first time around. Sometimes they have to be released, thrown away, buried, and resurrected. And we have to hope that when the time is right, we’ll get another chance.
In this issue, five yanasisters share their stories of dreams that took patience and perserverance, including dreams of motherhood (that took many years of prayer + 6 years of fostering), passion (with a return to modeling and acting 18 years after releasing it), living life more fully (with surviving domestic abuse and abandonment to later obtain a first and second degree, travel the world, and learn about self-love in her 60s), education (with a graduate degree that was 20 years in the making), and love (with a proposal from the guy she went out on a date with 26 years earlier). For anyone wondering if it’s too late, these stories will inspire you, encourage you, and remind you that as long as you have breath, there’s still time!
Never give up on your dreams.
P.S. Thank you to all the yanasisters who shared their stories with us in this issue! You are our sheroes!
January 1, 2012. I was on a girls’ trip in the mountains, celebrating and planning for the new year. That day, I decided I was moving to Savannah. By the end of the year. My girls questioned my timeline: why not by summer? Well, because I didn’t have a job in Savannah and I owned a house, I was giving myself the year to clear those hurdles.
I began a job search, including submitting my resume to the dean of an Atlanta law school opening a campus in my soon-to-be
home. A friend taught at the school and we timed my submission so that she could sing my praises to the dean and associate dean. I emailed my resume on January 31st. Before 8 a.m. on February 1st, the dean responded: no. Friends read his response as “not now.” Oh, well.
Undeterred from my plan to live in Savannah, a friend and I went on a reconnaissance road trip. I looked at apartments on my list. We went to the location where the law school would be (we might have breached a
fence around the property.) We enjoyed seeing the city not just as tourists. When I returned home, I continued applying for jobs.
On March 1st, the dean emailed, asking if I was still interested in a faculty position. We (with the associate dean) met for breakfast on March 6th. By 9:00 that morning, I’d received a job offer. With a start date of July 1st. Summer.
Without really looking for it, my dream career happened upon me. Working for the law school, in either administration or on the faculty, seemed like a cool and interesting job, just like all the others I’d applied to. I became one of the founding faculty of Savannah Law School and later served as the dean of students for a three-year appointment. With all the growing pains and uncertainty in a role I’d never really considered and had only seen as a student, I fell in love with my job.
Then. In March 2018 the board of directors announced Savannah Law would be
closing. To fully understand my devastation, know that I still get a pang in my heart about all we accomplished and what was taken away from us. The relationships I made with faculty and administration. The joy to help grow those students into successful lawyers, many of whom still call me “Dean” or “Professor,” even when I say “Kellyn” to them. Being a part of the audaciousness of what that “little school that could” did: becoming accredited in two years when it was supposed to take four; hosting two major conferences within the first year; recruiting students from across the country, including Alaska and Hawaii; establishing such a reputation in legal academia that deans and faculty wanted to join us.
It is momentous that I began practicing yoga while I lived in Savannah. With the encouragement of two of my yoga teachers, I enrolled in teacher training in order to go further in my practice, not in the sense of learning all the advanced postures, but to really understand and adapt all aspects of the practice to my life, on and off the mat. There was no way for me to know that, within a year of my completing the training, Savannah Law would be on its way to closure. It was easy to go to yoga classes at studios to try to move some of the stress out of my body.
But the training showed me how to sit with all that was happening and how to move through it. And I had a lot to move through.
In July 2019, I put teaching in the rear-view mirror, thinking, “That was a wonderfully fantastic adventure.” I moved back home and settled into my next job. I know now that my moving then was not accidental or inconsequential. In fact, it was divine timing that I would move home shortly before the world shut down and my brother and I would be able to tagteam doing the grocery shopping and running other errands for my parents. I was supposed to be home at that moment in time.
In early 2021, I started wondering what I wanted for my career and whether the job I had was where I wanted to be for the long term. I sought out women
in their 50s and 60s to talk about whether I could pivot “at my age,” particularly with my non-linear resume. I heard a friend say about her job, “It’s the most rewarding and challenging job I’ve ever had.” I thought, “I want that.” Then I realized I had it when I was on the faculty of the law school. That’s where I was supposed to be. I heard all the advice I’d gathered, plucked that dream out of the rear-view, and said, “Maybe it isn’t too late.”
Getting a tenure-track teaching position is not an easy process or without stress, especially for someone looking to return after being out for a while. In August 2022, I was officially “on the market,” hoping, praying, dreaming that I would rejoin the profession I loved. I started counting the number of schools I applied to but never heard from and the number of requests for interviews I declined and the number of interviews I did have and again the number that I didn’t hear from after the interview. This was a terrible exercise but I couldn’t stop myself.
And then. In December 2022, I accepted an offer at a school in Pennsylvania! It’s still a little surreal that I’m moving and starting anew (kinda) “at my age.” I’m reminded of the love song “Reunited.” And it feels so good.
I SOUGHT OUT WOMEN IN THEIR 50S AND 60S TO TALK ABOUT WHETHER I COULD PIVOT “AT MY AGE,” PARTICULARLY WITH MY NONLINEAR RESUME.
On June 27, 2018, I decided to take back my life. The Universe had dropped all kinds of hints that the time had come for me to move on. God, in His infinite wisdom, deemed me unfit, unworthy, or both, of taking on the greatest role of my existence – the role of being a mom.
It was time for me to “accept life on life’s terms”—words from my beloved mother that I fall back on when I have done all I can with a thing. When my praying, worrying, talking, begging and all the machinations do not yield the result that I want—I start that long, painful journey of accepting life on life’s terms. And now, I had to accept that I would never be a mom. I can still remember saying to myself, “I will not be a mother. I have been and will be a lot of things in life, but I will not be anyone’s mother.” Ironman finisher? Yes! Mother of children? No, ma’am. Not today.
My quest for motherhood had spanned decades. An attempt at biological children ended in heartbreak that I still carry. I imagine that somewhere in the multiverse, those girls, my mom, and me are living our best lives— and my husband is at work funding it all.
They are 20 years old, tall, caramel-colored, freckle-faced gingers—athletic and brilliant, of course.
A decade later, I poured endless amounts of time and money into the dark hole of international adoption right about the time the Ethiopian government deemed US citizens a danger to their “unwanted” Ethiopian children. The adoption agency insisted that I keep with the process but when they requested another $5K, I told them to lose my number.
Langston Hughes asks, “What happens to a dream deferred?” I guess it depends on the dream. Before 2018, I was consumed with mine. The more it was deferred, the more it enveloped me. I could not shake it. At some point, I began to believe that becoming a mom was the only way to honor my own mother, who had fallen inextricably ill in 2011, and whose death absolutely overwhelmed me.
My husband was a compliant accomplice, doing as he was told—give blood, give fingerprints, do a background check, give more money, send your pay stubs. But when I started googling “surrogacy,” he paused.
One day, I finally heard my friend when she asked, “What about fostering?” I don’t remember what I said aloud but in my head I was thinking, “ain’t no way“. After all, I have my limits. I refuse to get involved with CPS (child protective services)! CPS is a mess. I know it is a mess. Those children have issues. Those children are troubled. I do not want to be involved in the welfare system. My life is different. I am different. I am better. (Yikes.)
Then, my friend told me she adopted her son from foster care and I almost fainted. Her family looked as if they were pulled straight from the pages of a Disney movie and I wanted that. So I went for it.
In the interest of brevity, I will not tell you what it took to get certified as foster parents but trust it was tremendous and if you want to do it, trust that you can. It is time-consuming, but not insurmountable. And within 72 hours of being certified, our agency called, asking that we take 2 children. I said no. I was angry and frustrated with them (and told them so) that I had to say no but I specifically requested black or biracial (anything and black) children and was determined to have that.
The very next day, April 7, 2017, the agency called back and said, “We have 2 little African American boys, 18 months and 4 months. This is what you asked for. It’s written right here in your file. You said 2-3 children, as young as possible. And this is an easy case. You’ll probably end up getting these boys. So, are you home now? We will drop them off and get you to sign…”
I was breathless, dazed.
Imagine it. John and I were on the cusp of 50 years old and had been together since high
I CAN STILL REMEMBER SAYING TO MYSELF, “I WILL NOT BE A MOTHER. I HAVE BEEN AND WILL BE A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE, BUT I WILL NOT BE ANYONE’S MOTHER.”
JOHN AND I WERE ON THE CUSP OF 50 YEARS OLD AND HAD BEEN TOGETHER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. WE SPENT WEEKS AT A TIME IN HAWAII EVERY YEAR. I WAS AN AVID TRIATHLETE. WE LIVED IN A SMALL CONDO IN DOWNTOWN AUSTIN. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE HAD BABIES IN OUR LIVING ROOM.
school. We spent weeks at a time in Hawaii every year. I was an avid triathlete. We lived in a small condo in downtown Austin. And all of a sudden, we had babies in our living room. It was a whirlwind and a mess! My inadequacies were laid bare.
And everything that I feared about CPS came to fruition. We had to interact with the boys’ biological family in unprecedented ways. I did not like it. There were infinite doctors’ appointments, home visits, paperwork, testing, evaluations, case workers, diapers, tantrums, bottles, etc. The boys were beautiful but the oldest one had a meltdown after each family visit—whether his parents showed up or not. It was a nightmare and a dream come true, but still a nightmare.
Then it was over.
Four months after getting the boys, John returned from a hearing (I had to stay home with the boys) and told me we had to pack up their things because the judge ordered that they be returned to their mother. Despite all the upheaval and turmoil, or because of it, we had formed a strong bond with the boys. Our sadness was palpable. We tried to stay upbeat but they knew something was up. They grew so much in the time we had them. All those days of being loved, nurtured, and fed made a difference. At least there was that. We did that for them.
We gave her everything. She took it and then asked for our car seats. Why not? We no longer needed them.
Then, amazingly, she called us the very next day asking that we come get the boys for a few days. We bought new car seats... Over the next year, we were her childcare. We were her main support. The boys were dropped off full of bed bug bites. We told CPS. We told her. We bought all the supplies and toys all over again. They wore
the jazzy Honest diapers— the best of everything. Yet, at the end of the visit, she’d say, “I’m coming to get my boys. Where are my boys?” I hated it.
Most of our interactions were frustrating. She always ran late. Nothing could be planned. I would sit around waiting to hear from her and it made me so resentful. Once again, I stopped calling and she stopped calling. She gave us the silent treatment for over six weeks—and I finally let go.
On June 27, 2018 I decided to listen to the Universe and “accept life on life’s terms”…I let go with both hands. My life was good. Maybe we could move to Hawaii. Maybe I could do Ironman at Kona. I knew that my husband wanted me to call her, but I had to protect us.
I finally dismantled the beautiful mahogany crib in our guest bedroom. Dismantling it piece by piece felt like a meditation in surrender. I put all the pieces in our hallway and covered them with a blanket. It was finished.
My heart did not jump. My pulse did not rise. I listened to everything—all the niceties, all the drama - but felt very detached. Something inside me was broken or mended. I was not sure which. But I said yes to the visit. I knew my husband and my support team would be thrilled but I had just dismantled that bed…
The boys looked awful. The light was gone from their eyes again. Their hair was matted. It was heartbreaking but my heart was not breaking. We did the usual—bubble bath, Classical Baby, delicious foods, cuddles and snuggles—all of their favorites. I made a bed out of a sleeping bag and the babies slept like angels.
Then, the phone rang at around 11 pm, and I heard her breathless voice say, “I have to come get my babies.”
We woke those poor littles up and walked them downstairs to her hot car—without AC. It was about 100 degrees out and we saw she had a third little baby bundled up in winter gear, stuffed in his middle car seat. He gave me a cooky giggle grin. His fat face was red as a tomato. I wanted to cuss her out but instead I offered our concern for her dead or dying relative, bid her adieu, went back upstairs to our cool, comfy condo.
A few hours later, around 3 am, CPS called and asked if we could take the boys. All THREE of them, including the 7-month-old!
When I hesitated (after all, I had let go!), they told me the boys would likely sleep on a cot at the CPS office if we didn’t take them.
So, less than 24 hours after dismantling my dream, we became foster parents to 3 little
boys. I fought against it. I told their bio mom that this was temporary, and even asked if there was someone else who could take the youngest. There was not.
Over the next 5 years, our boys never left us, except for a few hours when a judge granted their bio mom unsupervised visits (which she proved was too much for her). We have been their absolute advocates and caretakers. They do not know any different. They are bright, vibrant, smart, rambunctious, and brilliant. They are full of our blood, sweat, and tears—and full of the blood, sweat, and tears of everyone who has been on this journey with us.
When I think back to how detached and removed I felt that fateful night, it puzzles
me. When I think of how many times I called to inquire about someone else taking the youngest, who is now the center of my existence, it is bizarre. Maybe my dream was even bigger than I could have imagined and I was protecting myself.
On March 10, 2023, we adopted our boys and I officially became what I thought I’d never be – a mom. We are blessed, grateful, tired, and happy.
What happens to a dream deferred? I’m not really sure. My deferred dream took longer than expected but finally came true.
Note: There are over 28,000 children in foster care in Texas alone. A large proportion of them are black and brown.
I’m glad I never gave up on my dream of being a Mom... I had always felt within the fiber of my being, and in the depths of my spirit I was meant to be a Mom. I realized, in my early forties, after a failed marriage that yielded no children and no potential partner in my life at that time, I needed to consider other routes to motherhood. I settled on adoption.
God put the right people in my life to make it happen, and it did. At the age of 45, I became a mother to a wonderful boy who I adopted at birth. Seven years later, he is still the light of my life. I’m eternally grateful to his selfless birth mom, for my dream of motherhood would have never been possible without her.
DENISE H.My favorite quote is from Henry David Thoreau: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the live you imagined.” I have not always abided by this. Truth be told, I have not always believed it. I never thought that I would live life as an actress and model again. I walked away from both for over 18 years.
My desire to be an actress began as a four-year-old girl. Every week I sat in my family’s living room to watch the elegant and graceful actress, the late Diahann Carroll, portray a nurse in the television sitcom, “Julia“. I admired everything about her! She was my inspiration for acting.
Throughout my childhood and adolescent years, I performed in stage plays
at school, as well as church and local theaters. During my sophomore year of high school, my drama and English teachers recommended that I transfer to a local high school that offered a theater program. Unfortunately, because of a lack of transportation and family support, I was unable to do so. I lost interest in acting.
My interest in modeling came as more of a surprise. I’d never considered modeling because I didn’t think I was attractive – I had always been mocked for my slender frame and appearance. I received malicious remarks because I walked straight, or ‘proper,’ as they would say. That all changed when I went to college. To my surprise, I was approached to model in a fashion show for a local designer. After my show, I wanted to do more. Modeling also reignited my interest in acting, as it led to the opportunity to audition for a traveling stage play with a well-known production company. I was excited to be selected as an understudy. But, shortly afterwards, life commitments and challenges, combined with industry situations that I refused to succumb to, once again caused me to walk away from my dreams.
Years later, an older colleague asked about my dreams and I shared that I once acted
and modeled. My colleague reminded me that it wasn’t too late for me to return to what I dreamed of doing. By this time, I was divorced, in my mid-30s with two children, and didn’t believe that I could. Plus, I allowed ‘nay-sayers’ and ‘dream killers’ to deter me.
Time went on.
Over 18 years later, I returned to college to complete the requirements for a bachelor’s degree. During the first year, my theater professor held open auditions for a play, and I landed the lead role. The audience raved about my performance. A year later, I was cast in another play. I felt the urge to follow my heart but I was still hesitant about doing so. Thankfully, my passion wouldn’t let me stop. I auditioned for the annual Christmas play at my church and was cast in a lead role. I performed with the performing arts ministry for several years.
Another member informed me of an audition for a play that would be held at a local theater. I auditioned and was cast. My dream of being an actress was reignited in full!
After performing in theater and independent films for a couple of years, I was offered a chance to walk the runway again. I was taken aback. I had been graced with another opportunity to do what I enjoy. I never thought that I would become a SAGeligible actress and a soughtafter model in my 50s. But here I am, living a dream that I thought was impossible.
My journey taught me so many things.
I learned that doors are not always completely shut. Sometimes we just need to reassess.
I learned that we never become too old to learn something new or do a different thing.
I learned that life is to be lived well, so we should never give up on our dreams. We should not allow our dreams to dissipate. Our dreams do not expire, we just fail to live them or to realize that sometimes they take time.
We must ENJOY living our dreams, UNapologetically... At last, I most certainly am doing just that.
It was a long time coming, but I finally decided to get out of my own way. After a year of dreaming and participating in a retreat mastermind, I placed my perfectionism and doubts in the back seat and buckled them up tightly. Not long after, my Reclaim Your Power retreat was born!
“If I’d given up on my dream, I would never have had the chance to make more meaningful connections and craft a career and space that that fulfills me spiritually, emotionally and financially.
ERIN H.
My dream of running a cable television network and green lighting content to air would never have come to pass if it was up to me and my impatience. I never thought it was possible where I was, but GOD said otherwise. Every time I tried to leave, the door would close. Prayer after prayer seemed unanswered, but I was being prepared for my now. Be still and know HE IS GOD and HE is so faithful.
College was a whole new world for me, as I was the first one in my family to attend. I was unstoppable, full of promise and passion. I was majoring in engineering, a proud member of the majorette team, and felt like the world was at my feet. I had never felt so alive, so free. I was bright, smart, pretty, and ready to conquer the world!
After two years of school, I met and married a Marine and started a family. Sadly, the honeymoon was short-lived because he was physically and emotionally abusive, and being ashamed, I suffered in silence. Eventually, I found enough courage to flee. I started all over with my children, relying on public assistance, food stamps, and living in public housing. I worked at night and went to school,
I WAS DEVASTATED AND FELL INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION. I FELT LIKE A FAILURE AGAIN. WHY WOULD GOD ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME?
and eventually got my nursing license. Life was changing, and it was good. I was making a decent living and able to take care of my children.
Just when I thought life couldn’t get any better, I met the love of my life. He was my
LIFE GAVE ME A SECOND CHANCE, AND I USED IT TO THE FULLEST. I LOST WEIGHT, GOT A PASSPORT, TRAVELED ABROAD, AND RETURNED TO SCHOOL WHEN I WAS CLOSE TO 60!
Prince Charming, and he loved me and my children. It seemed like a fairytale.We had what I thought was a perfect marriage for 17 years. But out of the blue, my Prince Charming blindsided me and came home from work one day saying he didn’t want to be married anymore. No explanations, no reasons, just packed up and left.
I was devastated and fell into a deep depression. I felt like a failure again. Why would God allow this to happen to me? I felt so unworthy of anything that was “good,” I drank, cried, and went deeper and deeper into a state of depression. I hid from the world and would only go to work or church and return home to sleep, drink, or cry.
Then one day at church I stumbled across a therapist teaching a class, and she said something that made me listen. Something about self-love, a concept that was unfamiliar to me. It was enough for me to call her office and set up an appointment. She reached inside of me and made me see life with a whole new perspective. The journey propelled me to realize that even if no one else loved me, I could love myself, and it was fulfilling and sufficient. Now I could do things that showed me that I was worthy. It took letting down my guard to connect with her for me to grow, and that led to me connecting with other women who inspired and encouraged me.
Life gave me a second chance, and I used it to the fullest. I lost weight, got a passport, traveled abroad, and returned to school when I was close to 60! I completed a bachelor’s degree, and because the fire was there, I went on to obtain a master’s degree at the ripe young age of 62. I then sat for the national certification boards to become a nurse practitioner. I am now the owner of my own Primary Care Practice. Who would have thought? I am finally fulfilling my purpose, helping others as I was once helped.
Looking back, my life has been full of challenges, but I have learned that with each challenge comes growth. I have grown into a strong, independent, and self-sufficient woman who is not afraid to chase her dreams.
I want to encourage other women to love themselves and take risks. No matter what happens in life, always remember that you are enough, you are strong enough, and you are worthy of love and success. Always remember that it’s never too late for a second chance at your dreams!
I’m so glad I got a second chance to live again. After dealing with health issues for the last two years that left me at times unable to walk, to stand, to sit, to lie down, to sleep, to wake, to eat, to drink and to live a productive, meaningful life – through fasting and much praying, I am so glad that I got a second chance to live again!
It has been a long time coming, but I did it! After nearly 40 years of career trials and triumphs, lots of laughs and a few tears along the way, I wished myself Happy Retirement Day December 31, 2021. Who says that retired life is boring, not me! In the immortal words of Maxine Waters, “I’m reclaiming my time!”
REV. KATRINA T. LISA S.After finishing my Bachelor’s degree in Political Science in 1988, I wanted to continue on to get a Master’s degree. But life had other plans. Within a year of graduating, I moved to Atlanta, started working, got married, and got pregnant with my first child.
Earning my Bachelor’s degree had been such a great achievement and opened so many doors. I thought about law school, but after working for a criminal defense attorney for about 6 months, I decided that was not the route for me. Instead, I set my sights on my ultimate dream job – working for a judge.
Ten years after earning my B.S., my dream came true as I started working as a Judicial Case Manager for Judge Gail S. Tusan. I loved everything about working there - from the Judge, to learning the law, to maintaining the court calendar, and to my incredible office family.
In the back of my mind, I still dreamed about getting my Master’s degree, but by this time, I had been married 9 years, and had 2 kids and a husband that required my attention. I didn’t want to go back to school while my kids were young because “mom” needed to be available for them. So, caring for the kids and hubby was my top priority; managing my job at the courthouse was my second priority; and I pushed getting my Master’s degree to the back burner again.
IN THE BACK OF MY MIND, I STILL DREAMED ABOUT GETTING MY MASTER’S DEGREE, BUT BY THIS TIME, I HAD BEEN MARRIED 9 YEARS, AND HAD 2 KIDS AND A HUSBAND THAT REQUIRED MY ATTENTION.
My second chance finally came ten years later (20 years after my Bachelors’s dgree) while I was working for the Judge. My family, the Judge, and so many others gave me the encouragement and the push I needed to enroll in the online Master’s program, first at Phoenix University, then at Capella University. My focus was Criminal Justice.
My dream didn’t come easy. The research, the quotes, citations, and other writing requirements were a little overwhelming. I often found myself asking “what have I gotten myself into?” Thankfully, a co-worker kept me motivated and my daughter kept telling me “You can do this, you got this!” I finally settled down and got into the rhythm of school.
And, just when I thought I had the hang of it, life obstacles stepped in and created more challenges. My husband’s job announced a plant closure, which would require us to either except a buy-out or move. The choices before us – Kentucky or Chicago. We chose Kentucky. This was a big change and a big move for my family, a change in jobs for me, new schools for the kids, and a new way of life for all of us.
But, after 20 years of waiting to see my dream come true, I was determined to keep going and there was no turning back. By the time we actually moved to Kentucky, I had already finished 2 semesters. Holding my feet to the fire, I kept pushing forward while balancing family, work, and other duties.
All my hard work and determination finally paid off when I was awarded my Master’s degree in Criminal Justice two years later. It wasn’t easy, but I never allowed myself to stray or waiver from my goal.
Why? Because I always kept the dream in my heart. Somewhere deep down, I always knew I would return to school again. I just didn’t know when.
Everyone has a story of how they reached success despite distractions and hardships. My journey to getting a Master’s degree required me to move through many distractions and hardships, and took over 20 years – but at the end of the day, I finally made it!
BUT, AFTER 20 YEARS OF WAITING TO SEE MY DREAM COME TRUE, I WAS DETERMINED TO KEEP GOING AND THERE WAS NO TURNING BACK.
I am glad that I never gave up on my dream of hosting the annual Transformational Writers Conference in Puerto Rico, for writers, wanting to become authors. Collectively, me and my Transformational Writers team have helped over 300 writers become authors. And I love to coach them in birthing their dreams, in the form of a book!
DANA A.If I had given up on my dream, I would never have joined the Central Nebraska Writers Group, which has been instrumental in my self-publishing a novel that I finished almost 20 years ago. Through a writing friend in this group, I learned about Amazon’s Kindle Vella and the group has encouraged me to write a new novel.
YANASISTERS is an intergenerational wisdom circle for women — like you. We’ve created this safe space, this spiritual space, to celebrate our womanhood. Here, with us, you will find healing. You will find happiness. You will find hope.
And most importantly, you will find a new you.
Connection is the essence of our community. Whether through our intimate online group, coaching programs, local meetups or one of our transformative destination retreats, we are here to support you in this season of your awakening. We share our stories, our pasts and our pain—lovingly and openly—to show one another that we are more alike than we are different.
We defy the notion that differences divide us. We are women who are all shapes, sizes, skin tones and swag. But our spirits—our souls— are every bit the same. And we only have one rule. Leave all judgment at the door. You arrived here today, not by coincidence, but because you know existing isn’t enough. We believe that too, and we want to support you to manifest something meaningful in your life—whether that something is more joy,
more freedom, more confidence and selflove, a more fulfilling profession or a better relationship. YANA is as much about recovery as it discovery. As you exhale your pain and inhale your passion and purpose, you will find you can do—and be—anything. But first, Superwoman, you must take off the cape.
When you need love, we’re here. When you need an embrace for your body or your soul, we’re here.
When you need the freedom to explore those hidden, but treasured, parts of yourself, we’re here.
When you need to free yourself to be yourself, we’re here.
We, your sisters, welcome you with warm, open arms.
Yep, that’s what I said in my head as I watched him walk down the left aisle of the church to view the body of our mutual friend, who was his childhood best friend. Wow.... he didn’t even seem to notice me as he took his seat by his twin brother five rows behind me.
Oh well, that’s ok. I’m good anyway. I don’t need a man getting on my nerves. I’m finally free after 21 years of marriage. Who wants the responsibility of learning someone anyway at this age (I was 51)? God, all I want is a travel buddy...
How quickly had I forgotten that just 2 weeks prior, after 4 years of being single, I had finally told God that I was ready to open my heart to give and receive love again? Then it happened...
As I was coming back to reality, checking myself for thinking about Kelvin’s fineness in the church, he stood right in front of me, then gave me a big, much-needed hug. Then he sat next to me and made small talk that became very interesting once he shared that his 17-year marriage had ended in divorce as well. His divorce was final exactly a week after mine. We still joke and laugh about him not asking me for my number that day.
A month later, his twin brother, who I considered a real friend, called to make sure I was ok with him giving Kelvin my number. Two days later, I got the call from K-Man himself and as they say, the rest is history.
We talked daily for hours. He shared his past hurts, his heart, and how he healed from his divorce. I shared my healing journey as well. We laughed about how we went out once 26 years ago when Tasha, the sister of our deceased mutual friend, had set us up on a date. All we both remembered from that date was that we went to Pappadeaux, that we both smiled a lot, and that we had no idea why neither of us followed up. Who would have ever thought that we’d get the chance again?
We shared our future 5-year, 10-year, and 20-year goals. We shared our aches and pains, our credit scores, our hobbies, our mutual love for God, and how we were both finally ready for love and companionship again. God gave me my travel buddy and then some.
We decided to give it a year before we made any major
decisions. During that year, we started going to church together. We learned each other’s quirks, likes, dislikes, dreams, and goals. We discussed our bucket lists. We bonded over our love of photography. We talked about where we’d live IF we worked out. A typical date for us was dinner and driving around the city of Houston for hours. It felt good being in the passenger seat for a change. As a native Houstonian, there were parts of our city that I didn’t even know existed.
He developed a bond with my teenage son and my 2 cats. He cared about every single aspect of Felicia. Fast forward... that year came quickly. The original plan was that in a year, we’d either say, “thank you, it’s been a fun ride, see ya!” Or, “let’s take this to the next level.”
I’m so happy to say that
Kelvin surprised me and proposed to me on March 5th in Cancun, Mexico – on the beach in front of our friends (who were all in on it), in front of a lighthouse, which I absolutely love. One death brought two people life. That day could not have been any more perfect.
The beauty of second chances is the second time around can be better than the first because you’ve done the work, made the mistakes, and you know what’s expected from one another. You walk with a different level of confidence which takes no shorts or excuses. You don’t settle, and you don’t play or accept games. Our love is calm, it’s giving, it’s equal, it’s real, and it’s sexy. It’s beautiful, and it’s us.
I got my travel buddy, and as Chante Moore says, “Baby, Love’s Taken Over!”
Even when it looked like it would never happen I’m glad I never gave up on finding love. In our world, love is enough, and I love it here!
If I’d given up on my dream, I would never have experienced my BIG love. A new marriage at 51 is still magical.
I am so glad I never gave up on my dream of finding true love. I love hard and I’ve loved the wrong person who couldn’t love me the way I deserved to be loved and I learnt that that was okay. It wasn’t easy to lick those wounds and open my heart to love again but I’m so glad I did because now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in love. I now have someone who I know truly loves me and more importantly, values me. I’m so glad I never gave up on love.
JEANETTE
We created a playlist that’s all about never giving up on your dreams! Simply search for “YANA – Never Give Up” on Spotify.
Never Give Up (Yolanda Adams)
Dream (Elisabeth Withers)
On the Ocean (K’Jon)
Stronger (Kelly Clarkson)
Bless the Broken Road (Selah, Melodie Crittenden)
Love’s Taken Over (Chante’ Moore)
Reunited (Peaches & Herb)
The Second Time Around (Shalamar)
You Gotta Believe (Mary J. Blige)
I Gotta Believe (Yolanda Adams)
Now or Never (Kendrick Lamar, Mary J. Blige)
Dreams Don’t Die (Will Claye)
Fight Song (Rachel Platten)
Unstoppable (Koryn Hawthorne)
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